#what the hell does this mean for cynthia then?

[ishibishie]

Sygna Suit? Nah. I call it Sygma suit

everyone who gets a sygna suit is a sigma male confirmed

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[graceandtheidiotsquad]

Dumb Character Headcanons: Champion Cynthia

I am having brainrot over the queen of sinnoh ok. I love her and her crazy family so much-! I apologize for how random some of these are-some of them I got inspiration from popular ones from, some from AUs i've seen and some I just made up on the fly-Ok, enough rambling-on with the show!

- TOTAL. MOMMA. BEAR. She just-has very motherly, protective vibes and despite being one of the most generally considered TERRIFYING CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES (and I'm mildly scared of her too!) she'd probably take you out for ice cream after battling her to celebrate a job well done, win or lose.

- Speaking of ice cream, I think this is not only a popular hc i agree with but they made it CANON In the anime that she cannot, for the life of her, decide what flavor she wants and will just stand there for 15 minutes weighing all the pros and cons and unintentionally holding up the line. I mean she'll move when she realizes and apologize PROFUSELY but still- ...But would YOU tell her to hurry up and choose?? No, I don't think so.

- Her hair is usually either down most of the time or tied up in a bun. But only for when she needs it-she doesn't care how messy it gets, she just likes being wild I suppose. Sometimes you'll find her literally wrestling one of her pokemon for fun (usually Garchomp) and her hair will be full of leaves and sticks, and not a care in the world! One of her family taught her how to tie her hair back in a bun, and though she adores them-she was quite the pain to get to stand still long enough to even TRY as a child.

- You wouldn't think it, with how classy she is-...buuuuuut she was almost a leash kid. You think she gets this intimidation factor just from being so classy and dramatic alone? No, she can be fucking FERAL when she wants to be. Sometimes the Sinnoh League will have trouble finding her to get her to report to her champion duties as she's gotten distracted and wandered off to explore some ruins somewhere in the region and never told anyone where she was going. 

- She used to and still can climb trees in seconds if left unattended. This has lead to many a heart-attack for her grandmother, watching her little baby Cynthia nearly DIE falling out of said tree, only to be completely unharmed and even LAUGHING at the experience. 

- Actually is a REALLY big fan of the wrestling/battle royale circuit. She can and will burst out singing some of the intros at the top of her lungs, much to the shock of ANYONE in the room with her. 

- She also happy dances and likes to put on music when she works. She loves piano but even she can't resist a good earworm, humming along to it as she runs around the local library or (reluctantly) winds up cooped up inside doing or cleaning up paperwork. This is implied to be canon in a spinoff game (Pokemon Masters EX if you're curious) and I totally agree that she just-cannot be bothered to clean up her office and it's almost CONSTANTLY a mess because she keeps getting distracted by new things to look at or something she hadn't seen in ages (BECAUSE of the mess) like a book and just winds up reading it all day. It's a vicious cycle!

- The reason she loves piano so much is she actually knows how to play, and is VERY Good at it! A very dear member of her family taught her when she was very young and she plays to help remember him-wherever the hell he's wandered off to now. Music connects us just as much as pokemon do, in her mind-so whenever she plays, he's right beside her again-whether physically or not. 

- She has inherited the family 'way too fucking tall' gene and that does NOT help her intimidating appearance sometimes.

- Sometimes casually speaks fluent Latin/Greek just to confuse the shit outta people. Look, she isn't usually spiteful-but even the most graceful and kind people have their limits. The same person who taught her piano taught her it-probably for that express purpose. Also several swear words. (thankfully if she ever swears, it's in said language so hardly anyone will know-)

- She grew up feeling-quite isolated from others her age because of her intense focus on studying history and battling competitively. Mostly the history thing-the battling thing probably didn't help as most kids were likely TERRIFIED of how intense she got. But-...i think that's why she loved that member of her family so much. Finally, someone who understood her...! He'd even given her the egg that would hatch into her Garchomp. (It was SUPPOSED to be a togepi, that wouldn't cause much hassle aside from the occasional accident with metronome-...but NOOOOOO, he decided to let her cause havoc. Her grandma nearly smacked him.)

- Honestly if you told her you were a demon or some supernatural shit she'd probably be more fascinated and barrage you with questions than scared. Or kick ass if you were hostile-DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH THE CHAMPION OF SINNOH.

- She may or may not be guilty of spoiling hers and other people's Pokémon with treats. She can't help it! She has a WEAKNESS for puppy dog eyes, whether it be her own Pokémon, any she's babysitting (she feels like someone who would do that if asked) Or young trainers she's taken a shine to. 

- Wound up with a heavy ass, GIGANTIC hand-me-down backpack from who-knows how many generations ago and yes, she CAN lug it around with ease. She doesn't much for her league job, but it's her go-to when it comes to adventuring or exploring.  - Speaking of the backpack-she often carries her spiritomb outside of its pokeball inside while in particularly rough areas, usually hiding inside its keystone. You never know if you'll need a pokemon for backup and don't have time to reach for one of your pokeball before things get dicey, after all-and the sight of a very angry ghost and dark type pokemon erupting from an ancient backpack is more than enough to send anyone who would likely cause trouble PACKING-looking almost as if something is being summoned right behind her! (She doesn't know why she looks so terrifying that way, but at least it means no one will cause too much trouble)

- An absolute GIRLBOSS for sure-but also very, very soft when it comes to people she loves. She'll gush and gush about her family members-especially younger ones, or trainers she's mentally adopted (and she does this a lot.) as her own 'pack', so to speak. She'll try to tone it down if it makes them uncomfortable but it's so HARD-she feels so blessed to have people who love her for who she is, as strange and beautiful and intimidating and just a little bit odd as she can be that she just HAS to spread word about how amazing they are! (She's like one of those moms who shows off photos of her kids all the time, just not in an annoying way if that makes sense?? At least she tries not to be-but once she starts rambling about them or ANYTHING it is almost impossible to get her to stop!)

- Often makes hand gestures like pointing when she speaks, especially when she gets excited. She often doesn't realize she's doing it half the time-but she always does it when taking pictures. She just-feels like her hands HAVE to be doing something!

- I will not give away the massive spoiler this ties into but she OWNS the song Blood Right by Madame Macabre. JUST-IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR LEGENDS ARCEUS, JUST-BE PREPARED YOU'RE IN FOR A RIDE!

[skzhocomments]

The Pearls On Your Neck (Hyunjin // Lee Know x OC)- Part Two

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Part One | Part Three (coming soon)

taglist: @ihrtlix

---

Part Two

chapter word count: 15.3k words

The loud sound of my cursed alarm woke me up from the deep slumber.

“Fucking hell.” I curse, rubbing my eyes off all the sleep.

I grab my phone as I’m laying back down on the bed, too lazy to get up from the soft, pink, silk sheets, and start sorting through all the notifications that popped up while I was asleep.

I see a few Whatsapp messages from the University’s group chat and I take a mental note to look at them later and check if there’s anything important, or if my brilliant classmates just spammed memes for no reason whatsoever, as they usually do.

Then I check my messages app to see what rant Cynthia had last night at 5 AM and quickly type a message to her, telling her to hurry the fuck up to my place, since we only have about 2 hours to help me get ready.

And then… I see another notification that catches my eye.

Pearls on Your Neck - 1 new message from Hyunjin❤️‍🔥

I am curious to see what he could possibly want so early in the morning, but before I tap on his message, my anxiety starts creeping in.

What if he cancelled our date?

What if he can’t come on Saturday?

My finger hangs a few millimetres above the notification, my heart racing in my chest pounding against my ribcage as if it wants to get out.

This is so stupid. I think and close my eyes, letting my finger fall on the screen.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Good morning, Pearl. :)

I hope you slept well and rested.

Excited for our date?

Just wanted to check that we’re still on for today at 12:30 at Harrods. Initially, I thought about sending you a message on your mobile number you typed into your booking appointment directly, but we haven’t discussed that in our previous conversation.

Do let me know if you’re comfortable with me using your private number instead of reaching out to you through this app.

Looking forward to your message.

Thank you, Hyunjin.

Tsch. He’s so polite. I frown, feeling my heart beating faster and faster in my chest.

Deciding that enough is enough, I stop overthinking and simply start typing out a reply for him.

Pearl:

Mornin’

I slept well, thank you.

Yes, if it’s okay with you, we’re meeting as previously discussed.

We can meet in the Harrod’s Cafe on the Third Floor and grab a coffee first, since we’re meeting each other for the first time.

You can absolutely use the number I typed in when confirming my booking. Thanks for asking first, though.

See you there? :)

Sending the message, I re-read it about 2 times before a new reply from him comes, the sound the notification made startling me.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Great. See you there. :)

I can’t wait to meet you, Pearl.

Love, Hyunjin.

How does he message back so fast?

Is he not nervous?

~

“OMG, GIRL!” Cynthia squeaks with joy. “Love, Hyunjin?! That’s code red!!!

“Code red? What is that supposed to mean?” I chuckle.

Cynthia was right, though. I start thinking about something that didn’t bother me initially before Cynthia brought it up.

It’s a bit weird.

Why did he type that all of a sudden?

What happened to “Thank you, Hyunjin”?

I analyse it over and over in my head and try to come up with a logical explanation, but Cynthia is quick to intervene and stop my train of thoughts.

“It means he’s whipped for you already!”

“Cynth,” I start, watching how the dress she helped me pick fits me. It’s a pale green off the shoulder ruffled dress that is flowy at the bottom and elasticated around the waist, the sleeves come down just below my elbow and are puffy, it looks really cute and would definitely work for a walk in the Shopping Center, but somehow I’m not satisfied with how frumpy it makes me look, so I quickly take it off over my head and try to speak through the fabric. “How can he be whipped for me when he doesn’t even know what I look like, or how I act? He doesn’t even know my personality!”

“Doesn’t he know what you look like, though? Didn’t you use a profile picture on the app?”

“No, I didn’t. It’s supposed to be a secret that I’m on there, you forgot? It’s better to just keep my identity private.” I say standing there in my lingerie exposed while waiting for my next dress to be handed to me.

“Yea, you’re right. You still used your real name, though, idiot. Hey, why don’t you try this other one? Seems kinda fitting.” Cynthia asks while handing me another dress from my closet. A rosso corsa red one, this time, not too elegant, but not too gauche either. It has a small split on the left leg and cute little red buttons going from under the breast cups down, right through the middle. It has a Queen Anne neckline where the fabric is scrunched giving the bust a bow effect. The neckline is connected to full-length puffy sleeves that cuff tighter around the wrist leaving no room for bracelets, but it also gives off an illusion of a square neckline. I loved this dress ever since I got it, mostly thanks to the beautiful Queen Anne neckline, but I never got to wear it.

She also hands me some heels to match and a handbag, the heels are sliver and sparkly with a glossy finish. The stiletto of the heel has a gold metal vine wrapped around it and flowers stuck to the base where the heel meets the shoe, it has little gems in the middle of each flower, and the back of the heel has a few metal leafs on it as well. The handbag is simple and white to match the flowers with a silver chain for a strap.

“Seems fitting how?” I question Cynthia back. It is a cute dress, but why would she say that?

“Obviously because Hyunjin loves red!”

“And how would you know that?” I raise an eyebrow at her before taking another look in the mirror. The dress does look amazing on me.

“His red heart emoji, of course! And the fire??? Hellloooo! Pay attention, Pearl!”

“Tsch, that doesn’t have to mean anything, Cynth! It’s just an emoji!”

“Two of them! Come on, it’s the perfect choice for the weather outside, and judging by the material, it must be comfortable as well! You’ll surely walk a lot buying clothes today, so it’s just perfect.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “I’ll keep it on. Will you do my make-up, please?” I sit down on the white chair in front of my vanity and watch Cynthia expectedly.

“Of course, I’m gonna make you the most beautiful girl this country has ever seen!” She exclaims, giggling just like a kid who found their most-wanted presents wrapped under the Christmas tree.

“I knew I could count on you.” I grin.

“By the way, how are you going to find each other? I mean, you do know what he looks like. Are you just going to approach him?”

“Oh, he has my phone number, so I guess he’ll just call me as soon as he gets there or something?”

“WAIT! HE HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER?!” Cynthia suddenly screams, jolting up from her chair.

“Of course, he does, how else are we gonna go on a date?” I roll my eyes a bit.

“No, that’s not what I was getting to! You said he doesn’t know what you look like!”

“Uhm, yeah, he doesn’t.”

“Idiot, he has your phone number!” She facepalms. “He can check out your pic on Whatsapp, or see if your phone is linked to a Facebook account or something!”

“Nah, I doubt he’d go through all that trouble just for a random date he’s paid to attend.” I shrug.

But what if she’s right?

Nah. No way.

“I’m telling you, he definitely checked you out. That’s why he changed his sign off!”

“Cynthia, you’re exaggerating again. The sign off doesn’t mean anything, nor do the emojis, or whatever you’re on about. Stop rambling and get to work! I have to leave in 35 minutes!”

“No, no. You hear me out. When you start dating this guy for real, you must think back on this moment and tell me ‘Cynthia, you’ve been right the whole time, and I’ve been an idiot.’ Got it?” she grinned, showing her perfect, pearlescent white teeth.

“That’s not going to happen, dumbass. I’m just using him while I need him, and when my parents get over their dumb idea of marrying me off to Minho, I’m done with this fucking app. Got it?” I imitate her, and she drops it while she keeps on doing my make-up.

I wish to put a curse on Cynthia and her first offspring, I’m late because she wouldn’t let me leave in time because apparently being late is in fashion. She just couldn’t get it through her head that this is not a real date and that Hyunjin was, in fact, hired to be there. I hate being late. It always leads to gut-crushing anxiety, and sweat, lots of sweat. I swear if I didn’t put perfume in my bag I would have to keep Hyunjin at least 5 feet away at all times. Luckily I do have perfume, my favourite one Maison Francis Kurkdjian’s Rounge 540, it's very sweet but also classy and mature. I hate it when perfumes are sickeningly sweet, that’s why this one is perfect.

While I'm on my way I receive a call from an unknown number, fuck. I answer it quickly.

“Hello?” I say quickly because I'm in a rush.

“Hiya, it’s Hyunjin I’d just like to let you know I'm here sitting in the cafe.”

His voice is much softer and smoother than I expected, smooth and soft like letting rich chocolate melt in your mouth.

“Oh… Hyunjin, I'm really sorry I'm running a bit late, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon then.”

He sounds so calm it's almost calming my nerves.

“Yes, erm see you soon”

I end it quickly, wanting the ground to swallow me; how much more awkward can I get?

I’m here, on the third floor standing just outside the cafe. I don’t know what to do, do I just walk in and walk up to him? No, I should message him. I go through my recent call list and click on his number and name him boyfriend💋 so it's not suspicious when he messages me.

Pearl:

Hi, Hyunjin, I’m here just standing outside the cafe.

Boyfriend💋:

Oh, I’m sitting by the window.

Two seconds I’ll come and walk you in.

Fuck this is happening.

It’s not even a real date but I'm so nervous.

I start playing with my phone case popping it on and off my phone for what feels like forever.

Until the cafe door opens and he walks out, he’s real, oh he’s definitely real and tall. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, well I did tell him to wear whatever he’s most comfortable in and it only makes sense since he’s not going to be in those clothes for the majority of our time here. I suddenly feel insecure—overdressed. So I pull my bag in front of me from where it was hanging by my side.

He’s absolutely stunning, it’s unnerving. His blonde hair is down in a middle part and styled straight. I’ve never seen a man who looks so good with long hair, it frames his face perfectly.

He smiled at me sweetly, eyes sparkling and a bouquet of flowers in his right hand adorned with silver rings and a loose chain hanging from his wrist. A huge bouquet of carnations, every shade of red possible. “Pearl, I'm so happy to finally meet you, You look breathtaking.”

My heart pounded at his words, I don't know what to say or act, “Thank you, I bet you say that to all your dates.” I said trying to make a joke out of this whole situation - because it is a joke that I'm doing all this just not to get married.

He didn’t say anything for a second and just looked me up and down, “I got these flowers for you.” he said, extending them towards me.

“Um.. thank you, Hyunjin, they are beautiful and they match my dress. How did you know?”

“I didn’t. Red is my favourite colour,” He says simply before walking closer to me and taking my hand, “shall we go inside?”

Damn Cynthia and her intuition.

I’m shocked at his bold gesture I was certainly not expecting, so I just nod shyly.

He leads me into the cafe and brings me to a small table by the window— probably the one he was sitting at earlier. I take my time to look around the cafe I’ve been in numerous times—I should feel in my element, however, I’m completely out of it and there's no time to get some liquid courage.

Hyunjin’s chuckle pulls me out of my thinking so I turn my head to look at him, only to see him already looking at me, “You don’t have to be nervous, Pearl.” He’s smiling at me so sincerely that I almost feel like an idiot for being nervous.

Fake it till you make it.

“Hyunjin… so” I clap my hands together, “basically, what I have planned for today is to just go over stuff, get you an outfit for the dinner and get to know each other so it’s more… more realistic, if you get me?”

Wow he’s really good at this, he’s looking at me like he’s genuinely interested in what I have to say.

“Okay, do you want to start now or would you like to get a coffee first?” Hyunjin says, as his fingers move to his face, and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Let’s get a coffee first,” I say smiling.

“I’ll go get it for you, what would you like?”

I nod and smile at him, “Can I have a raspberry and pomegranate green tea?”

He smiles, “Good choice,” and walks off to the coffee counter.

I start thinking about what I’m going to tell him and how to start it, but the more I think about it, the more awkward it becomes in my head.

Should I tell him why I’m doing this?

Yeah that sounds like a good idea.

I make a mental checklist in my head about things to talk about, why, when, how, age, interests, family members and friends. Then after we've gone through all of that we can start shopping.

I put my head in my hands and realise that I sound like a drill Sergeant.

“Pearl, you okay?” Hyunjin chimes as he places my tea in front of me.

I sit up and try to look somewhat graceful in my chair, “Yeah, of course, I am. So… wanna get started to get to know each other?” I question and he just nods looking me in the eyes, “Okay so why I needed to do this is because my parents want me to get married to someone and I don't want to. That's basically it, so that's why you're here, to help me out of this mess.” I finish my sentence chuckling.

Hyunjin looks at me the whole time, gaze never drifting, and I smile at him to which he returns, “Is Pearl your real name?” he asks, lips puckering around the side of his cup, genuine curiosity swirling around in his eyes.

He was cute I’d definitely give him that, “Yes, my real name is Pearl, I’m 20 years old and in my second year of university.”

“What do you major in uni?”

I smile at his eagerness, “Woah, Hyunjiin, slow down! You haven’t told me anything about yourself.”

His eyes go wide at my statement and the tip of his ears go red, “Oh right,” he laughs, “Um, Hyunjin is my real name and I’m 23 years old,”

He didn’t seem upset about the statement, I'm grateful.

It's vague but I won't push about it.

Actually, I have to push about it if he’s going to be my fake boyfriend!

“Hyunjin, what do you like?” I question, putting my elbows on the table and resting my head in my hands looking at him.

Hyunjin shifts under my gaze, “I like loads of stuff, music, flowers, art, odd little shops you find in strange places,” I watch his eyes sparkle as he talks; he seems like a really passionate person, I like that.

Instead of talking about myself, I try to get to know him better, “What do you mean odd little shops?” I ask.

His eyes go wide, this time from what seems to be excitement, “Well actually,” he starts, bringing his hands together, “ shops that sell second-hand stuff or crystals, do you know what I mean? Just random miscellaneous stuff.” I nod, listening to the excited boy.

“Crystals?” I chuckle.

“Mhm. Each one of them means something different, and I find that really interesting.” He continues explaining.

“Really?” my eyes are the one to go wide this time. I’ve never met a boy who cares about stuff like this before. Cynthia used to tell me about crystals all the time, but she’s usually a nutcase, so I never really paid attention to her. Now, seeing how happy Hyunjin is to talk about random stones, I wish I had.

“Really. Those clear quartz diamonds on the back of your shoes? Which are very lovely, may I say.” he chuckles a bit. “They mean manifestation. What are you trying to manifest, beautiful?” He asks, interest sparking in his eyes.

The nickname makes my cheeks blush and I am sure they must be the colour of my dress by now. However, God blessed us humans with make-up. The layer of foundation should be able to cover my hopeless blushing.

“A marriage cancellation,” I reply, averting my gaze.

“I see.” He hums. “Is it set in stone?”

“Not yet. That’s what I need a boyfriend for.”

“Well, you got one, don’t you?” he smiles. I feel tension growing between us, as my heart skips yet another beat.

“Hyunjin?” I look into his brown eyes again.

“Yes?”

“You said… every gem and crystal has a meaning. What about Pearl?”

“Pearl?” he raises his eyebrows, the curve of his lips that are way too fascinating for me are still pointing upwards. “It means… purity, rarity… and beauty.” he glances straight at me, articulating every word with a roll of his tongue, and when he says the final word, his hand finds mine on the table, fingers gently grazing the skin on my knuckles, making my breath hitch in my throat and my skin getting goosebumps all over.

I’ve never in my life been more thankful to be wearing long sleeves than I am now.

Hyunjin slowly grabs my hand with the same refinement, as if I’m truly the rarest gem he’s ever touched, and continues drawing small, excruciatingly painful circles over my knuckles.

“You know…” he starts in a low voice, barely audible and hard to distinguish from the cafe’s chatter. “Pearl is the most elegant, and she shines brighter than any other gem I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes never leave mine, but my nervousness is growing so uncomfortable, I find that the straw in my drink is the most interesting thing to look at. I need to stare at anything else but his eyes, because my poor heart would forget that this is a fake date, and that he is a fake boyfriend.

“My beautiful gem, it’s your turn to tell me more about yourself now. Do you have any siblings?”

“Mhm, an older brother, or the thorn in my side, as I like to call him.” I reply, and Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle. I’m too aware of his hand still on top of mine, but I try to ignore the feeling growing in my chest and I continue talking. “His name is Seungmin and he’s actually dating my best friend, if you can believe that!”

“No way!” Hyunjin exclaims, seeming so interested in what I have to say, I can’t stop thinking about how professional he’s being. Again.

“Yeah, I really worried at first, but they’ve been dating for almost a year now, and they seem in love, so who am I to stop them?” I shrug.

“You can’t stop true love from happening, from being felt.” He squeezes my hand.

“I guess that’s true. That’s what I’m hoping for with my family and this whole… marriage ordeal. When they see me being in love with someone, I just hope they’ll have the same consideration for me as they had for Seungmin and Cynthia.”

“Cynthia? That’s your friend’s name? I see you’re only surrounded by people with interesting names. Moon Goddess… her parents were inspired.”

“You think so?” I smile.

“Mhm. Do you know her from Uni?”

“No, although she does go to the same University. We’re in different majors. I've known her since high school.”

“Were you in the same class?” He asks inquisitively.

“Unfortunately.,” I chuckle., “I used to not like her at all at that time, she had this big, jarring mouth. I rolled my eyes so bad when the chemistry teacher forced us to do a project together, God!” I laugh, and Hyunjin also seems to enjoy the story, as he shares my excitement and laughs with me. Sharing stories with him like this makes me feel more at ease, and it feels somewhat… natural. He has a calming, laidback aura about him, maybe he’s carrying some crystals on him now.

“So what happened next? How did you two become friends?” he asks, curiosity audible in his tone. as he leans in closer to the table.

“Well, we had this stupidly impossible project to work on, and none of us knew any chemistry-”

“And you also didn’t have any between yourselves.” Hyunjin interrupts me with a giggle.

“Exactly!” I laugh. “We were both convinced that we’re screwed, so I think we kinda bonded over our… stupidity?” I tilt my head a bit and Hyunjin squeezes my hand, reminding me that it’s there. It felt so normal to have his hand on mine, that I no longer noticed the way his thumb was drawing a pattern on the back of my hand. Feeling that squeeze brings me to reality and I flinch a bit, almost removing my hand from his grasp. However, he holds it firmly, not letting me move away.

“Sorry,” I mumble, startled by my sudden reaction.

“Don’t worry, Pearl.” he smiles sweetly. “I’m not going to let you leave anywhere. Not until you finish your story.”

“I… uhm…”

What the fuck, Pearl, get yourself together!I say to myself in my mind.

“I also hated chemistry.” Hyunjin brings up the topic again, as if to help me remember where I left off.

“Yeah… so… uhm… Cynthia and I were fighting all the time not knowing how the fuck- I’m sorry.” I put my hand over my mouth as soon as I realised that I let out a curse.

“Stop apologising, cutie, you can curse all you want. You’d still be the most elegant Pearl in the world to me.”

“God, stop flattering me so much…” I avert my gaze and clear my throat. “Anyway, we didn’t know how to get started on the project and were basically forced to spend time together. One thing led to another, and all of a sudden we realised we shared many interests and we became really good friends.”

“But wait, if you know her from high school, and you’ve been friends since, how did she and Seungmin start dating only a few months ago?” He inquires, and I get surprised that he not only remembered my brother’s name, but that he also remembered such a small detail—when he and Cynthia started dating—which means that Hyunjin is actively listening to what I say, and doesn’t just nod out of courtesy.

“That’s when they met.” I laugh, remembering how shocked both of them were to bump into each other in our house randomly at 3 AM while Cynthia and I had a sleepover. “It was basically love at first sight. Seungmin studied abroad for a few years so they never really knew about each other… until they basically crashed into each other in the hallway - Cynthia getting out of my room, and Seungmin wanting to come in to say hello as soon as his flight landed and he returned home.”

“That’s so funny!”

“And that’s not all! Cynthia and I were playing around doing a photoshoot. She was wearing this really sultry red lace lingerie and didn’t bother putting anything else on since she knew my parents weren’t home. The poor girl was horrified!”

“I can imagine. Breakfast the next day must’ve been really amusing to watch.” A smile plays on his lips.

“It was! God, they were so awkward.” I laugh reminiscing about the memory and shaking my head at how mortifying the whole situation was for everyone as I relive it.

“I wish I were there to see it.” He chuckles, probably imagining the whole scene.

“So Seungmin studied abroad, and you’re studying here? You didn’t tell me earlier what you are majoring in.”

“Business.”

“Beautiful and smart.” Hyunjin compliments me.

I shrug off the compliment and change the conversation, “What about you, Hyunjin? Do you have many friends?”

“I have a few,” he says while he looks up to think, “Since you’re studying Business, you must be going to the University of Thomas Aquinas, right? My roommate actually works at a Cafe near there, you might’ve seen him, if you enjoy drinking coffee in-between classes.”

“Really? What’s his name? What does he look like?” I ask, curious. The simple thought of possibly sharing an acquaintance with Aphrodite’s son lookalike seems purely impossible. There’s no way our universes would’ve ever collided if it weren’t for this Pearls on Your Neck app.

“His name is Felix. He works at this really funky-looking cafe right next to your Uni as a barista. He’s an innocent blonde guy, younger than me by a few years. Rings any bells?”

“No freaking way!” I exclaim, my eyes going big. “Felix is your roommate?!”

“You know him?” he gasps, as shocked as me. “Really?! That’s so funny! Wow!”

“I know, right?! But Hyunjin, you know what this means?! We just found ourselves the perfect excuse! We met at the Cafe and fell in love at first sight!” I declare with resolve, but Hyunjin only tugs his lips into a smile, not commenting further on what I’ve said.

I reach out for my drink again, realising that my tea has gone cold - from all the talking - when it reaches my mouth, I can’t help but wince at the displeasing feeling of the cold liquid travelling down my throat. It was really good tea, not too strong or weak like piss that you get in other cafes, and I’m deeply dissatisfied that I don’t get to enjoy it warm.

Hyunjin leans forwards on the table, placing his iced Americano down, and raising an eyebrow at me, “Cold?”

I keep forgetting this is a fake date.

Hyunjin is really good at this and extremely accommodating, he does little things to help me calm down when my brain goes into overdrive and even reminds me when I lose track of my conversation - just proving even more that he is a professional at this. I have to keep reminding myself that it's fake or I’m scared I’ll go crazy with delusion.

We’ve not even spent the whole day together yet, but I feel content but nervous, exactly how someone should feel on a first date.

Thinking about it now, Hyunjin always skips over the ‘fake’ dating details. He’s very good at acting and if he didn’t want to be here, he is very good at hiding it—I also keep forgetting that this is his job. I want to ask about his job and how he got into this line of work or if he’s ever had any crazy clients, but considering how he’s acted the last two times, I decide it's best not to - maybe it’s a rule. Maybe I can ask him another time; either way, I’m curious about him in a way that I’ve never been curious about a person before.

Hyunjin is undoubtedly cute, extremely attractive, and he’s fun in a quirky way, almost reckless. I mean, a man talking about crystals so fondly is unheard of and being in this line of business you have to be a little crazy, plus, he definitely has a way with words that can make any woman blush, but he’s also polite and seems gentle - he seems to have a gentle soul.

Considering I avoid relationships like the plague I'm actually enjoying this—enjoying talking to a new person.

Maybe I just need to go out more.

I’m glad that I’m doing this though because it’s new and apparently I enjoy talking to other people than Cynthia. Even if this is fake to get me out of a potential engagement, I’m enjoying it…

I realise I’ve spaced out, so I clear my throat, “Hmm? Oh… yeah it’s a bit cold.” I confirm his suspicions.

He nods, “Do you want another? I’d like to get to know you more before we play build a perfect boyfriend with me.” he jests.

I laugh at his joke, finding his strange way to make a joke actually quite hilarious, “No, I’m okay. But don’t you think you’ll look good dressed up all dapper?” I question him tilting my head slightly, I know he’ll look good dressed up all smart when he looks this good dressed in casual clothing.

He hums and puts his hand under his chin scrunching his forehead as if he was thinking, “I think I’ll look good if you pick it out for me, I guess.”

I nod agreeing because I do in fact have a great eye for men's fashion after growing up with Seungmin who would pair vertically striped trousers and horizontally striped shirts together, “I guess you're right, I do have a good eye for fashion.”

“Oh really?” he questions “What do you think of my attire right now?”

I have to think for a second, he looks amazing, but I can’t say that for obvious reasons, “It’s good… perfect for shopping”

He sighs as if he’s relieved, “Thank god for that, can I be honest with you?” He questions as if he’s scared to reveal his honest thoughts.

I don’t know why he’s asking that, of course, he can be honest with me. I want him to be honest with me, I want to know more about him and how he thinks, he seems different from most men I’ve met… I want to know what he’s thinking and how his mind works.

Why is he even asking that?

I nod eagerly, “Of course!” that came out a bit too eager.

A slight blush rises to my cheeks, if he noticed it he didn’t tease into it or make any comments, like other men I know would do.

He smiles at me genuinely and I notice how his eyes crinkle at the corners, it's cute, “Well, I was a bit worried I was underdressed when I saw you.” He looks down at his jeans as if he’s actually embarrassed about it.

At this moment I realise, his mind is just as complex as mine, I thought I was overdressed, “No, not at all.” I console him and reach out to pat his hand, that's when I notice it hasn’t left mine the whole time.

It’s strange. I never thought I’d forget another hand sat idly in mine, I never thought it would feel so normal. I always thought it would feel anomalous.

I want to take my hand away from his but I don’t want to leave its warmth.

Yeah, that's it.

I just don't want to be cold.

As if he’s observed my weird stare at our hands he speaks again pulling my view away from his hand in mine, “Do you have any hobbies?”

I think hard looking up, I can’t remember the last time I did something that could be classed as a hobby.

I mean one time Cynthia decided we were going to be chefs and nearly burnt down the house… but that only happened once because we were banned from using the kitchen after that, I think harder trying to recall something of significance.

Bingo!

“I used to go on fishing trips with my dad and brother once a month, I really enjoyed it! We even used to go on fishing holidays. We went to Gillhams fishing resort a few times in Thailand, I’ve never seen fish so big! Oh and how could I forget I once caught a 250-pound Mekong catfish, it took me about three hours to reel it in, and it was so hot I was sweating so bad not to mention the sunburn I had after being in the direct sunlight for that long-” I cut myself off by pulling my hand away from his abruptly and slapping it over my mouth, Hyunjin’s expression goes shocked for a split second but he quickly regains his smile, I’m completely embarrassed from my rambling, I coughed a bit trying to regain my dignity from massively oversharing, “I’m so sorry for rambling”

I’m a bit upset that my hand is so cold and I regret pulling it away in my state of fluster, but I can still feel his hand as if it’s imprinted itself into mine.

So, instead of reaching my hand back out to his, I place my other hand in mine hoping to regain the warmth but to no avail because both of my hands are cold.

I can’t reach out to his hand because that would not be appropriate for me to do so, as we haven’t established boundaries and I barely know the man. I’ll just let him take the lead. I would hate to make him uncomfortable, especially while he’s working.

Although it would be something we should probably discuss.

It would make life a lot easier, but it doesn’t matter at the moment anyway because even if we did set boundaries I wouldn’t have the balls to reach out to him anyway, I shouldn’t even be wanting to hold his hand.

He looks at me bemused, “Don’t apologise, I was enjoying your story,” his lips turn into a little pout, “Please continue, you know… I’ve always wanted a fishing buddy… maybe we can go on a fishing date after the dinner?!” He says eyes full of hope.

Fishing buddy?

Another date, is this some sort of would you like to book in for a lash infill tactic?

Of course, realistically I’d love to go on a fishing date with Hyunjin, I’d love to get to know him more but this isn’t real and I find I’m having to remind myself of this again.

I decide not to think about it too much and change the subject, “Yeah… you said you like art?” I question even though I distinctly remember him saying it, “I’d really love to get into it but I wouldn’t know where to start or how to start,” I let out a deflated chuckle.

His eyes sparkle and his lips pull into a very big grin seemingly pleased that I’ve remembered this small detail about him, “You remembered that?” He questions and I want to say why wouldn’t I?

It makes me think again, how do all his other fake dates treat him? Do they just talk about themselves the whole time? The thought makes me a bit angry because it seems to me that everyone should want to get to know Hyunjin but also, don’t conversations work both ways? Isn’t that how it works, one person asks a question and the other answers vice versa?

“Of course, I remembered we only spoke about it,” I look at my phone checking the time, “Wow, we only spoke about it two hours ago.” I try to deflect the amazed look on his face because it’s honestly not that impressive that I can remember a small detail about him, actually, I think I’ve memorised everything he’s told me about himself- because I need to. That's how fake relationships work.

Not that I know anything about fake relationships, but I'm pretty sure with Hyunjin’s amazing acting it will look undeniably real.

“Thank you, maybe I can help you get into painting… only if it’s something you genuinely want, don't just say it on my account.” This is a first, for Hyunjin to look so unsure of himself.

“Of course, I’d love that! I’m always up for new things.”

He smiles at me as if I’ve hung the moon and stars in the sky, “I’m actually very excited to get to know you, Pearl.”

I chuckle at his expression and statement, “Do you say that to all your dates?” I question and quickly realise by the way his facial expression drops for the slightest moment that I should have not said that.

I don’t want him to think I’m being rude and think that he’s cheap because he does this for a job, actually, that's the furthest thing I think of him. He’s my lifesaver at this point, and he’s quite literally going to save me from a loveless marriage and an eternity of misery.

“What are you on about? I’m on a date with you.” he resorts to quickly making me confused.

“Hyunjin… you know you can be real around me, I know this is a fake date and you're not actually my boyfriend,” I say factly.

“I don’t know what you're talking about. I'm your boyfriend and we are on a date,” He said and quickly stands up, “come on, we should go shopping now.” He says abruptly, leaving me behind a bit before stopping at the door and keeping it open for me while I’m still sitting confused by what has just happened.

Did I just offend him and his work?

Shit, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.

I walk up to him as he smiles at me sweetly.

“Hyunjin… I didn’t mean to offend you… actually, that’s the last thing I want to do since you're saving my life by doing this for me-” Apparently my apology isn’t acknowledged because he cut me off.

“Where should we look first?”

“Uhm… I think the man’s section is on the First Floor, if I remember correctly…” I reply quietly, looking down at my shoes and rubbing my hands together, fidgeting my fingers nervously.

Did I upset him that much?

I must’ve said something wrong…

“Pretty, is everything okay?” He asks with a frown and grabs my hands with his, as if our conversation earlier never happened. He separates my hands and continues holding my left one tightly, starting to walk towards the large escalators. “I don’t like seeing you upset, my beautiful Pearl.”

I want to say something.

But don't know how to reply, “Uhm… ”

“You know what I think will make you feel better?” he smiles, and abruptly changes directions. Instead of going downstairs, he drags me towards a photobooth and effortlessly lifts up the black curtain, pulling me inside.

The space is narrow, I worry that being so close to him will make him uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to care that much. He’s skilfully pushing the right buttons on the machine to get it to work - 2 sets of 8 pictures each - and that reminds me once again that despite it being the first time I’ve ever been in a photobooth, let alone with a guy, he most definitely comes to this kind of place with all his dates to take pictures.

Why do I have a strange pang in my chest when I think about this? I wonder, but quickly shake the thought off as Hyunjin positions himself right next to me. Legs and arms pressed against each other.

It’s okay Pearl, don’t overthink this…This is a fake date.

A first flash is seen and I can’t help but think about how awkward we must be looking right now, simply sat next to each other facing the screen in front of us, not even holding hands anymore.

Is this supposed to be fun?

Just as this thought crosses my mind, Hyunjin puts a hand around my waist, fingers delicately sitting above my pelvis and he spins me around to face him. His right-hand finds its way to my left one, which he raises in the air, mere centimetres in front of his lips, and the next thing I see is the blinding flash while I feel his lips softly press against my knuckles.

I let out a gasp as he smirks.

“What is it, my Pearl, are you flustered?” he raises an eyebrow and stands straight although his neck is a bit bent due to his sheer height so he crouches slightly, his left hand still on the back of my waist, hugging my frame tightly so we are flush against each other.

“I- what?” I stumble on my words and tilt my head with confusion.

What just happened?

Another 2-3 pictures are being taken while I’m trying to figure out what the hell just went on and how I can forget the feeling of his soft, perfect unchapped lips on my skin.

I’m crazy.

Then, just as abrupt as earlier, Hyunjin pulls my body closer to him and whispers slowly in my ear: “This dress looks so beautiful on you.” before pecking me on the cheek.

My eyes go wide at his bold gesture and my face has turned pink, and that’s when I notice that all 8 pictures have finally been taken. The air inside the photobooth feels way too stuff, because Hyunjin’s gesture turned my stomach upside down, and my heart is racing at 200km/h.

He takes out the two sets of pictures and looks at them with a bright smile on his face, then takes out his wallet from his back pocket and places one of the sets inside, before handing me mine.

“We look so cute together.” he grins childishly, giving me a second to look at the work of art we’ve just taken.

I’ll give it to him though because fuck, we look so good together.

No freaking way.

When my eyes find the last picture, I get flustered all over again, seeing that it perfectly captured the moment of Hyunjin kissing my cheek.

Hyunjin smiles at me triumphantly, “Do you feel better?”

I’ve come to the conclusion that all my overthinking about boundaries earlier was pointless, and to think I was getting worked up over holding his hand. But, my suspicions about him being a little crazy are definitely confirmed.

“Hyunjin… this was a good idea, I can put this in the back of my phone case, you’re so smart!” I say, evaluating and analysing why he has just done that and I feel completely stupid, obviously, it was so we look more legit.

He looks at me wearing a complacent smile, “It was a good idea, right? Everyone loves a photo booth!”

Although he doesn’t want to talk about it right now, he knows we’re on a fake date but he’s also making ‘memories’ for us to show my family, why didn’t I think of this? I didn’t even think of taking photos. He may be one of the smartest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I carefully take off my clear phone case and slide the photos in between the small gap.

I do actually feel a lot lighter and it’s Hyunjin’s doing that has caused it, “Shall we go get you some clothes then?” I offer, sporting a beaming smile.

“Okay let’s go!” He says excitedly and puts his hand out for me to grab.

We walk around and I finally spot a blazer in a very dark teal blue, and I drag him with me as quickly as I can in my heels, “Woah Pearl, slow down, no one is going to take whatever you’re on a mission to get.” He says behind me nearly tripping up.

I get the blazer and hold it up to him, it looks good with his complexion, “Hyunjin, will you try this on?”

He just simply nods and I go and hunt down the matching trousers.

When I find them I come across two more different suits that will look good so I take this opportunity to pick them up, guessing his size.

I knock on the changing room door and wait for a response.

“Pearl, is it you?” He asks, making me chuckle.

“Yeah, I got you some more bits to try on,”

I hear a few shuffles before the door opens and he peeks his head out, “Ah.. amazing go sit on the chair and I’ll come out and be your personal model.” He winks

I laugh at his remark and nod, handing him the clothes.

As I wait on the cream leather seat in the mirrored room, I find myself staring at the door that Hyunjin is behind.

Obviously, curiosity takes the best of me but I can’t carry through with it until he comes out, so I sit there staring at my hands and fiddling with the cuff of my dress.

“Close your eyes,” Hyunjin calls out, so I do to entertain him.

I hear footsteps getting closer, and Hyunjin calls out, “Pearl, you can open them now”

Hyunjin is finally standing in front of me in a dark teal blue blazer button-up with Burberry stitched into the breast. Featuring a collar style, front welt pockets, long sleeves, a front button fastening and long sleeves with matching trousers that look as if they were tailored to fit him, the plain white button-up shirt pairs perfectly.

His long legs are complemented profusely by the fit. The Blazer isn’t too tight either but just tight enough in all the right places, it feels rude to be looking without saying anything this long but I can't help it when he looks so good.

“Beautiful, does it look okay?” Hyunjin says with a teasing tone in his voice, and raised eyebrow.

“Hyunjin, you. It looks so good!” I exclaim.

“You think? Is this the one?” He says and a slight tinge of red comes to the top of his ears.

I think for a while - is this the one? It's clear that Hyunjin looks amazing in this, but is this right for him to meet my family in?

“There’s more, try them all on and then we’ll pick the best… well not the best… I mean, you're going to look amazing in all of them” I stammer.

“I’m glad you like it,” he looks down at his shoes, “maybe it would look better with different shoes,”

“Yes! Oh my god! Wait there, let me go and get some shoes. What size?”

He laughs at my excitement, “size 10”

I nod then run to the shoes, I pick up a pair of black chunky leather loafers premium Italian calf leather and gold-plated hardware across the talus. Perfect for a statement.

The next pair are slightly heeled ankle boots with a pointed toe in black leather, with a gold buckle on the inside. They are sleek and look smart.

I walk with a stride back to the changing room, “Hyunjin! I found some shoes!”

“Pop them by the door please, I'm trying on another one,”

I do as I'm told, barely containing my excitement - it is truly hard to not get pumped up when someone is willing to wear anything given to them, especially when they look like a model.

I sit there a bit too eagerly, fidgeting crossing and uncrossing my legs.

It’s taking way too long, “Hyunjin?” I shout

“Yes love?”

I blush unintentionally at the sweet nickname, “Is everything okay in there?”

“Yes, I’m just admiring how good your fashion is.”

I giggle to myself, and my phone goes off so I check it.

Sister-in-law:

How’s it going?

Did you kiss yet?

God, Cynthia is going to be my ultimate demise if she keeps asking questions like that; doesn’t she know it's a fake date?

Pearl:

It’s good and no we haven’t kissed yet because it’s a fake date!

Sister-in-law:

Whatever

Is he as good looking in person?

Pearl:

Yes

Even better looking!

Sister-in-law:

Are you in love yet?

Pearl:

Fuck off

I'm putting my phone away now

Sister-in–law:

No!

Don’t be like that!

“Love?” Hyunjin said giving me a fright.

I clumsily shove my phone back into my bag and look up. Hyunjin looks really good in beige, especially with blonde hair.

The black roses in contrast with the beige are so beautiful, the blazer has a pocket on the breast, and he’s not wearing a button-up this time but instead a black t-shirt.

“Do you like it?” I ask keenly, walking up to him to help flatten the lapels, reaching forwards without hesitation, both of my hands on his hard chest lightly moving the lapels, I smile to myself; extremely happy with my work. He’s wearing the loafers, they give him extra height that isn’t necessarily needed since my arms are already at neck level reaching out for his chest.

I didn’t even realise he was looking at me until I looked up because he didn’t respond.

I didn’t realise we were that close.

We are really close.

He’s looking down at me with a look on his face that I can’t quite distinguish and his lips twitch slightly.

I become flustered looking into his eyes for too long so I move back quickly.

I just invaded his personal space without asking or warning him.

I clear my throat, “Sorry,” I say looking down at my feet, and stepping back.

“I really like this one” He lets out in a low voice, and tilts my head up with his large, and temperate hand bringing me back closer to give me a warm smile, “why’d you pick this one beautiful?”

I try to find the right words, but it seems they are stuck in my throat. I know why I picked this one, it’s because he said he likes flowers; I thought he’d like it because of that.

“Why so quiet love?” His honey-brown eyes are miraculous, they look like they're shining, sparkling under the bright changing room lights and his blonde hair with his tanned skin is stunning. All humans should be born like this. Who wouldn’t be speechless being within this proximity with someone so breathtaking?

“I picked it because you like flowers?” I say it as if it's more of a question.

Unsure.

But I know that’s why I picked it.

“You're right.” he smiles, “I do like flowers, do you know why?”

I shake my head coyly.

I don’t know, but I want to.

“Because I’m a fool for beautiful things.” His eyes still haven’t left mine and I feel my body getting hotter by the second, “maybe you can be one of the things I’m a fool for as well.” He says it like a statement.

So boldly.

So confident.

I want to change the subject, I don’t like being put on the spot like this. I don’t like not knowing how to reply.

“Hyunjin, go try on the last suit, please.”

I say please because I need him to go, because I don’t think I can handle being part of this conversation any longer.

All he does is nod and smile walking away and I’m left still standing there confused, if my heart beats any faster I’m going to have to go get a check-up.

This is not normal, my hands are clammy, my whole body is flush and I’m a bit breathless.

I think I’m getting sick.

I sit back down on the chair and wait a little longer for Hyunjin, I still feel like I barely know him and I don’t know what I want to know about him.

I know he does this for work but does he go to uni still? Does he have another job? Does he have any siblings or pets? He’s older than me so it could be a possibility we went to the same school, he could even know my brother. After all, they're the same age.

I can’t stop being curious about him.

“Pearl, I’m coming out. I think you’ll really like this one.” He practically sings.

Speechless.

This is what he’s going to wear, he has to.

Elegant and luxurious; this is the one.

Black pinstripe Saint Laurent tuxedo jacket, black wool perfectly tailored, it has leather peak lapels and padded shoulders that enhance the double-breasted front, and on the front breast pocket is a gold Saint Laurent symbol.

The trousers are plain black and a skinny inky belt adorns his hips, the low-cut shirt he’s wearing hangs just below his collarbones and for the first time drawing attention to the delicate gold necklace he has on. The slightly heeled boots he has on just pull the outfit together even more, giving a classic, timeless look.

He should really consider being a model.

“Yes!” I squeal, clapping my hands together, “Hyunjin! This is the one!”

He chuckles at me, and puts his hand out to grab mine pulling me from my seat, “Shall we get this one then?”

“Yes! Let’s get them all, Hyunjin!”

He sighs slightly, “Why don’t you come up with a nickname for me?” he asks in a disappointed tone and his ever-so-swollen lips slightly pout?

“Huh?” I ask confused by the sudden question.

“Well, I am your boyfriend right?” He says in a matter of fact tone.

Fake boyfriend I want to say, but he is right, ‘couples’ should have nicknames for each other and he’s always giving me ones.

“What should I call you then?” I ask, slightly tilting my head.

His face lights up, “Anything you want,” he shrugs.

I think for a while going through the possibilities, I'm not bold enough to use honey bee, babe or baby.

It wouldn’t sound right for me to say that.

“Hyunnie or Jinnie?” I question, not completely sure on either.

His eyes widen and I start to think he doesn't like them, “I love it, I love them both!” He says as he engulfs me in a hug.

“Jinnie, careful, I nearly got makeup on your suit and we haven’t even bought it yet!” I laugh and place my hands on his chest, pushing him away from me playfully.

“You’re right,” he chuckles, “that would truly be unfortunate. But you know what, beautiful?” he asks, his hands still on the back of my waist, holding my body close to him. He leans down, face mere centimetres from my face, and whispers “I’m sure we can find a dry cleaner to get it ready until the dinner with your parents.”

“Jinnie!” I scold him, both of us starting laughing. Looking up at him, I love the way his blonde hair contrasts the black elegant suit. However, I unintentionally frown, remembering the most important detail I forgot until Hyunjin mentioned the Saturday dinner.

“What’s wrong?” he asks with a head tilt, seemingly concerned about my sudden change of expression.

“What are we going to do about this?” I ask, removing a stray strand of hair that found its way on Hyunjin’s forehead.

“What, the hair?” He removes his hands from my waist and brushes them through his haircut, restyling it.

“My father is a bit… conservative, so to say. He doesn’t really like crazy colours.”

“Oh, is that so?” he smiles.

“Mhm. Whatever. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter.” I wave my hand around, trying not to overthink it too much.

“If you say so, beautiful.” Hyunjin grabs my hand before noticing the abandoned red carnations on the cream leather seat I sat on minutes earlier. He runs away quickly to grab them, then hands them to me, as he did a few hours ago when we first met.

“Thanks.” I smile. “I would’ve been really upset if I forgot these.”

Facepalm.

No way I just said that out loud.

“I mean-” I start, trying to correct myself, but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to care that much, as he raises a hand to stop me from speaking any further.

“Can you wait a bit while I change?” he asks. “I won’t be long.”

“Yes, of course.”

True to his word, Hyunjin takes only a few minutes to change, and I decide against going back to the chair. The heels I’m wearing are thankfully not as uncomfortable as they look, so I don’t mind waiting for him in front of the dressing room.

“All done.” he opens up the curtain, holding the three suits I’ve chosen for him neatly folded on his arm.

“Shall we go pay, then?” I smile brightly, truly proud of myself. The suits look just too good on Hyunjin not to get all of them.

We both head to the checkout and the lady behind the register compliments our choice of clothes, her eyes never leaving Hyunjin. I can’t blame her, though. Every time I look at him I feel like I’m having a cultural reset. His beauty is ethereal.

After we leave the store, I get this weird… sinking feeling in my stomach, as I realise that our date is almost over. We’re going to walk our separate ways now, and see each other in two days, which isn’t a lot, so why does it feel like it’s so far away?

“So…” I start, dejected. “I’m glad we got to know each other better, Jinnie. I guess it’s time we-”

“Go shop for your clothes.” Hyunjin smiles mischievously.

“Sorry?”

“It’s your turn!” he grins. “Your turn to be my model.”

“Oh,” I reply, confused, “No, that’s okay, I wouldn’t want to take too much of your time… I have a lot of clothes at home.”

“No fair!” he whines like a little kid, which makes me giggle a bit. “You got to dress me up, why don’t I have the same liberty?”

“Hyunjin, we’ve already spent many hours together. Aren’t you booked for another date later?” I reply with reason, noticing a slight frown between his eyebrows.

“What do you mean, Pearl? What other date? You’ve been mentioning that for quite some time now. I’m on a date with you, and I don’t want to go home just yet. I want to spend more time with my girlfriend. Why can’t we go shopping for you as well, hm?”

His answer takes me by surprise. He said everything in an almost arguing tone, truly seeming upset about this whole ordeal. My stupid mouth mentioned the fake date as well, again, and this really seems to anger him.

“I mean, we can, but… are you sure you aren’t busy?”

“I’ll never be busy for you, beautiful,” he says, making me blush.

However, I can’t stop wondering if I should’ve just pushed harder to go home. This is probably what he says to all dates, and hopes his fake girlfriend of the day will just let him go.

This is a job for him, after all. If I worked, I imagine I would think about going back home all the time.

Hyunjin and I head towards the escalator and take it to the Second Floor, where the woman’s section is located. He is the one who leads the way this time, as I’m shily looking down at the red carnations in my hand, their petals a bit withered by now. I furrow my brows thinking about them withering away, only a distant memory of this date remaining.

“You should press them when you get home. Do you like them that much? I would’ve bought you a bigger bouquet if I'd known.”

“Huh?” I raise my head, surprised once again that he noticed the source of my downheartedness so quickly, without me saying a word. No one in my life ever paid as much attention to me, not even my nanny, and it was her job. Well, this is Hyunjin’s job as well… but still, how observant can someone be?

“I’m not sure how to. I’ve never done it before.”

“Really?!” his eyes go wide. “Wow, okay, I’ll teach you. We should video-call later and I’ll show you.”

“Okay.” I chuckle, the knot in my stomach feeling tighter than ever. It’s not like he’d actually video-call me. Once the date is over, and until Saturday, we’re no longer bound by a contract, or by me paying him, so he wouldn’t have any reason to waste his free time chatting with a random stranger who hired him to be her arm candy.

Hyunjin takes me to a large elegant store on the Second Floor, and I quickly notice I haven’t been in it before. I only come to Harrods when Cynthia is in the mood to buy some new clothes, but I rarely, if ever, buy anything myself. I normally have people taking my measurements and bringing me catalogues where I pick what I like, and that’s it. No struggles going to the dressing room and trying 100 different things on.

Although not gonna lie, it was very fun to do it with Hyunjin earlier.

He goes directly to a shelf on the right side and picks an extremely elegant and beautiful pearl white satin dress that is scrunched around the waist with a one-shoulder neckline that would fall on my left side. There is a deep split on the right leg, and it has a short train.

As if he knows exactly what he’s looking for, he skillfully moves around the store until he finds his next target: a beautiful two-piece beige below-the-knee-length dress. The top is a tight-fit diamond shape with a halter neckline, and the skirt once again has a split but this slit is high and looks as if it would reach just at the top of my thigh, this time on the left leg.

Does Hyunjin have a thing for splits? I wonder, laughing in my head while he rummages the store for a third dress.

“Are you going to pick one for each look I’ve chosen for you?” I ask curiously.

“Of course, how else are we going to match on our next dates?” he grins while browsing through a row of black dresses.

“Aha! There it is!” he says, pulling out one beautiful raven-black satin dress that looks like it shines under the shop lights with a V-neck that plunges deep and spaghetti straps. This dress seems to be long, cutting off just at the ankles, and looks so elegant, I can’t wait to try it on. “Exactly what I was looking for!”

“Really?” I chuckle at his excitement.

“Beautiful, let’s see how these fit you.” Hyunjin grins, balancing the three dresses on one arm and grabbing the back of my waist with the other.

We head towards the dressing room and I step inside, letting Hyunjin arrange the dresses nicely on the hanger.

“The white one first. I’m gonna quickly run and get some accessories, so don’t hurry,” he says, grabbing the big dark brown curtain and arranging it so no one could see anything from outside.

“Got it,” I say, starting to undress, “Wait, Hyunjin?” I shout, hoping that he didn’t leave just yet, because I had a big problem.

“Yes, love?” he peeks his head through the curtain.

This fucking nickname.

“Uhm… do you think you could…” I grimace a bit, parting my hair to the side and turning my back towards Hyunjin.

“Oh.” he looks aside for a short second and I almost notice a red tint on his cheeks. “Sure.”

Damn, Cynthia for picking out this dress with the long-ass zipper!

Hyunjin comes so close to me, I feel his breath on my neck, and as he places one hand firmly on my shoulder, I can feel his thumb grazing the skin on my nape.

Suddenly, the air feels too hot and stuffy, and I barely breathe.

He pulls the zipper down and stops just above my behind, and I feel vulnerable with my whole back exposed. It’s the first time a man has ever seen so much of my skin, and I am feeling really conscious.

What if there’s a pimple on my back?

What if my position is weird?

Can he see my weird birthmark?

Does he think it’s ugly?

Instead of letting all these insecurities show, I just let my head down and mumble a quick “Thank you,” Hyunjin isn’t pushing it, and leaves me alone in the dressing room as soon as he’s done, with a small nod of his head.

At least we both seem embarrassed.

Now that the zipper issue is solved, I am able to undress with ease. I grab the white dress as instructed and pull it over my head, and as soon as it falls on my shoulders and settles on me, I can’t help but think Damn.

It looks amazing. The satin is hugging my waist beautifully, and the colour compliments my skin tone so well. I can’t believe Hyunjin was able to guess my size on the first try, and find this masterpiece of a dress.

“Love? Can I open this?” I hear his voice from the other side of the curtain and see the pattern of a hand gripping it up.

“Yes, I’m all dressed,” I reply.

“Wow.” his eyes go wide as he looks at me.

“Is it that bad?” I chuckle jokingly, as it’s quite obvious I’m looking like Aphrodite herself right now.

“Fuck” he mumbles, placing his fist over his mouth. “You look heavenly.”

“Thanks.” I smile. “What do you have over there?” I point to the small shopping bag in his hand.

“Oh. Right. I got you these.” he says as he pulls out a pair of blue satin gloves that look elbow-length, the same colour as his suit. He follows with a pair of navy blue high heels with an intricate silver flower design all over them, more focused on the heel. The third item he’s brought me is a small pearl white clutch with a golden chain to hold.

“Wow, Jinnie, these work so well together!” I praise him, and I almost get an urge to pet his hair, which I barely contain.

“That’s not all. Look, a pair of earrings for you…” He opens up a small box where sapphire and diamond dangly earrings beautifully sparkle under the strong light of the dressing room. “... and these.” He opens up another box, revealing two silver couple rings, a small blue sapphire at the centre of both of them.

“Oh, God. These are so beautiful…” I pull out one ring and place it carefully on my finger. It’s the perfect fit.

Was he able to size up my hands while playing with my fingers earlier?

“I’m glad you like them.”

“We definitely have to get all of these.” I smile, impressed by Hyunjin’s refined style.

“The two-piece is next. Be right back,” he says after helping me place everything in the big shopping bag provided by the store.

I again do as instructed and put on the two-piece dress. The diamond-shaped top exposes my shoulders and back modestly, I love the way the fabric of the beige skirt hugs my hips, and then falls down freely on my legs. This time as well, the split is not too high up on the side of my leg to make me uncomfortable, on the contrary, it's on the front, and I find myself once again admiring Hyunjin’s fashion style. He perfectly combined beauty with comfort.

Hyunjin returns once more really quickly and takes a few moments to admire the fit.

“So beautiful.” he smiles, and gives me a pair of black chunky, platform high-heel shoes with a thin strap on the ankle and a small golden buckle much like his chunky loafers, a black trapeze bag held by a large gold bulky, thick chain, a pair of golden twisted hoop earrings and a set of dark beige Tiger’s Eye bracelets with golden chains.

He really does like rocks.

“I absolutely adore how all of these look,” I tell him excitedly, feeling just a bit dejected that he didn’t bring any more couple rings this time. “We’re keeping all of these as well!”

“That’s great.” he chuckles at my excitement. “Then try the black one on, please.”

The black satin dress is the one I’ve been looking forward to the most, as it’ll be the obvious choice to go with Hyunjin’s Saint Laurent black suit at my parents’ dinner.

Of course, Hyunjin’s amazing taste doesn’t disappoint this time either. The fabric hugs my body in all the right places and loosely flows at the bottom in contrast to the tightness around my bust waist and hips. The open neckline makes me wonder what type of jewellery he will pick to go on with this dress.

I find out quickly enough, as he returns breathless to the dressing room.

“Okay.” he smiles. “Try these on.”

He gives me a pair of black open-toe sandal heels, and I’m surprised to notice that they will go with his suit perfectly, being made by the same design. Instead of a regular heel, these shoes have the Yves Saint Laurent logo in golden letters cassander heel featuring an adjustable ankle strap. The black bag with the golden chain he gives me is Yves Saint Laurent as well, and it seems he truly wants us to be matching not only the clothes, but the brand as well.

He then gives me a thin gold bracelet with small diamonds all over, but the accessory I love the most is a golden necklace. Well, I don’t necessarily like it the most because it’s beautiful. It’s because Hyunjin picked two of them, making us once again match, which got my heart racing badly.

“These clothes… Jinnie, they’re amazing. You’re amazing. We will look so good together on Saturday!” I smile genuinely.

“Mhm. The clothes are okay, but they’re just that. Clothes. You’re the one who makes them beautiful, Pearl.” he replied, looking straight into my eyes through the large mirror in the dressing room.

How is someone supposed to reply to something like that? I don’t know how, so I change the subject, “I’m going to get changed then we can go pay for these.”

He just nods unenthusiastically, looking slightly dejected.

As I’m getting changed I can’t help but think about the look on Hyunjin’s face.

Yes, some girls who hire him may be lonely people who want a boyfriend, to be serenaded in love and affection. I, however, am not lonely—maybe a bit touched starved—and do not all need this affection he is throwing my way because it’s very confusing, especially when the person is so calm and handsome.

I do not need someone tainting my future life with delusions just because they are nice to me.

Shit.

My dress, the fucking zip.

“Hyunjin?” no reply.

I start to panic, “Jinnie?”

“Yes?”

“Urm… I need your help?” I say it almost as a whisper hoping he’ll hear it.

I watch as long fingers, adorned with beautiful rings delicately wrap around the curtain pulling it slightly ajar, barely able to see just a sliver of the side of him.

“Love, is it your dress again?” he says ever so softly,

I fidget, trying to find the words because this situation is extremely embarrassing. I wonder how many times he’s had to do this for other girls. Although, he did seem embarrassed as well. What happens if I’m the only girl who decided to wear a dress like this to go shopping in? I hope he doesn’t think I did this on purpose.

Why am I thinking so much… I wasn’t even supposed to be shopping.

“Yes, can you please zip it up please?”

“Of course.” He says and he steps into the changing room, his hands that were once on the curtain are now on my hip and the other is on the zip.

I pull my hair to the side to give him better access to the zip at the top, but I can’t help that this feels somewhat domestic.

Intimate.

I need to get my head out of the gutter, this is not intimate nor domestic, this is simply what needs to be done otherwise I’ll be stuck half-naked walking through the shop with no jacket to cover up the huge gaping hole at the back of my dress, which is not a good look.

I notice the warmth of his hand leave my hip but the imprint of his large hand is still there and I can still feel it.

I’m basically letting a stranger zip my dress up for me, I remind myself to get the stupid thoughts of intimacy out of my mind. This is absolutely insane.

“Done,” he says in a whisper and I shiver once again; this feels intimate.

“Sorry,” I mutter under my breath.

“It’s fine love, can’t be helped, right?” he tells me with a soft chuckle.

I just nod, picking up my bag, and it seems like my touch has summoned a phone call.

I turn to face him and smile awkwardly and he nods indicating to pick up the phone.

“Yes?”

“Pearl? Where have you been all day? Did you not see my messages?”

I let out a heavy sigh, “Seungmin, did Cynth not tell you I was out with my boyfriend today?”

“Your boyfriend who you ain’t told anyone about?”

“Yes. My boyfriend.”

“Where are you?”

“Harrods” I let out with a sigh.

Hyunjin looks at me, eyes swirling with curiosity. I just smile at him, trying to let him know that it's nothing worth being interested in.

“I’m sending a driver to pick you up now”

“No-”

“Pearl I don’t care what you say, I can’t believe you even kept this from me for so long!” He was quick to hang up before I could get another word in.

How frustrating!

I shot Hyunjin a look with apologetic eyes, “My brother's sending a driver here, I’ve got to go.”

Hyunjin looks a bit downhearted and his thick lips twitch downwards, something that you’ll only notice if you pay enough attention.

But I did pay attention, and I saw that.

He’s gone extremely unanimated apart from the slight crinkle of his nose, in contrast to before and my stomach clenches lightly seeing that cute pout on his lips, even if it was just for a second. But deep down I know he’s probably happy to have finished his day of work, and this is all part of his ‘fake boyfriend’ act, now I feel sad.

Hyunjin composes himself quickly standing straight and bringing one of his hands to brush through his golden locks, “Ah okay, well let me walk you out?” He says it as if it’s a question, as if I wouldn’t want him to.

“I’d like that.” I smile genuinely, all the excitement drained from now as I know this is over.

I bend down to pick up some of the bags in my other hand that isn’t occupied by a big bouquet of carnations, but before I can even reach out to it Hyunjin has already picked it up.

“My girlfriend shouldn’t be carrying heavy things”

I smile as I see he’s come back from his fake sad act, but now he’s back with the fake boyfriend act. It’s better at least, so I decide to play into it, just to humour him, “Oh, is that right?”

He smiles at me and grabs my hand lightly intertwining our fingers, “Of course, I wouldn’t want my lover to have callus hands, now would I?”

I laugh and unconsciously play with the rings on his hand while we’re walking to the exit, the sinking feeling in my stomach only grows the closer we get, and I can’t help but wish we were actually friends. I'd love to get to know the real him. Not the fake boyfriend version.

We stop outside and I see him looking down at our hands with a smile on his face, eyes almost sparking. That’s when I notice my fingers playing with his rings, I jerk my hand back and curse myself out internally, “Sorry” I say and avert my eyes to look at the busy streets, its nearing dark now and the sky is painted in a beautiful ombre of pinks and orange hues, a colossal flock of seagulls flying, making the whole scene playing out in front of me look like an intricate tapestry that has been done ever so carefully.

I’ve never looked at my city like this, I’ve never had the time to be out and just relax. I’ve never had time to look into the little things in life, but when Hyunjin is around I seem to be picking out, noticing, and magnifying everything. Maybe his presence does that, he seems to be a very complex, and closed-off person but also very good at observing others. When someone is complex it’s natural to have to look into details further.

I see the black Mercedes Benz S-class getting closer and closer, reminding me how this is ending and I will go back home.

It stops in front of us and I smile at Hyunjin, “It was really nice meeting you today…thank you for everything, the flowers, agreeing to do this and I’ll see you Saturday?”

His hand reaches out to me and wraps around my waist, “Of course, I’ll see you Saturday, let me put your bags in the boot.”

He is such a gentleman, after he’s done putting the bags into the car he grabs my hand and walks me to the door and presses a soft kiss on my cheek, then opening the door for me, letting me get in, a blushing mess as my driver had just seen that.

“I’ll see you Saturday, beautiful, message me when you get home.”

I nod and wave him off feeling a strange feeling, he doesn’t actually want a message when he gets home, he’s just putting on a show for the driver.

I sigh and look down at the beautiful carnations slightly withered.

Would Hyunjin call me like he said and show me how to press the flowers? I’m unsure…

Uncertainty is the plague of the mind and right now I'm more confused and uncertain than ever, no one and I mean no one has ever made me feel so unsure in my life.

~

Independence comes in many forms, or so I have just learnt.

Volunteering to carry my shopping bags up a staircase that is ludicrously way too big for any house; unfortunately, that house is my house. Wearing heels that are slightly uncomfortable the whole day and not asking someone to carry my shoes as I change into flats, because apparently I was too enchanted by an Adonis of a man with a svelte toned body. But now I'm back in the comfort of my own home, my feet are throbbing and my chest heaving from walking up those stupid stairs.

I flop down onto my bed and think about how my life has come to this, lying and scheming to prevent a loveless marriage.

“Pearl!” An excited screech can be heard through the door along with the clambering of feet slapping on the wooden floor. I glance in horror at my closed door and hope to God I’ve just imagined my friend’s voice shouting my name, for I am tired as fuck and frankly a bit disappointed about having to go home instead of spending more time with Hyunjin

“Cynthia?” I ask almost lifelessly, seeing my best friend’s figure slamming through the door. As always, Cynthia has no regard for my personal space, so she jumps right next to me in bed, making me close my eyes in slight frustration.

“What’s wrong, did you come home with blue balls?” She grins.

“What? No!” I playfully slap her arm and turn my back on her, signalling her to unzip my dress. I then get up and march over to my walk-in closet, taking off my dress and changing into more comfortable clothes.

“How was the date? Spill it out.” Her dumb grin doesn’t leave her face while she asks this. She’s lucky I love her.

“You mean fake date!” I whisper, aware of the still-open door. Cynthia rolls her eyes as I sit down in front of my vanity and start wiping off my makeup. “It was… nice, actually. He’s a really great guy, you know?”

“Who’s a great guy?” a voice behind me speaks, startling me: my brother’s.

Seungmin is standing in front of my room, his right shoulder supported by the door’s frame, and looks at me and Cynthia with a serious expression.

“My boyfriend, of course.” I roll my eyes.

“I’ll ask this again - the boyfriend you didn’t bother telling anyone about?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re official before telling you and our parents. Besides, Cynthia knew about him.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrow again and eyes his girlfriend, who avoids his gaze like the plague.

You’re such a bad liar. I think while looking at her as well, hoping she won’t blow my cover.

“Anyways, now that I’m basically forced into a MARRIAGE,” I accentuate this last word, hoping to get a reaction out of Seungmin. “I have to force things to move faster than I would’ve liked, and to bring my boyfriend to the freaking dinner so our parents can observe him like he’s a poor caged animal in a zoo. Imagine that.”

“Pearl, I know you’re upset…”

“Upset? Upset doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I’m feeling, Min.”

“Look. As much as I think our parents are exaggerating, they come from a good place. Minho is a nice guy, as much as he can seem like an asshole.”

“Pfft. Right. Seem.” I scoff.

“I’m serious. He’s a good guy, he’s hella smart and if you marry him you will get to live a very good, stress-free life. That’s what our parents want for you.”

“But what about what I want, Min? Isn’t that important as well?”

“Of course it is. That’s the most important thing. But isn’t a good life something you’d want? Minho would give you that, and more.”

“What I want is to be with someone I love. Cynth, back me up!” I look at my friend who’s been staring at us ever since the conversation started, her body sprawled on the bed, head supported by her hands.

“I have to agree with Pearl on this one, baby. Minho is a good guy, and I bet they’d get along great-”

“Hey! Whose side are you on?” I cut her off angrily, my face all messed up with the smeared black mascara around my eyes.

“BUT it’s also important that she actually likes him before getting married, don’t you think?” She continues without minding me. “If she has a boyfriend she likes, wouldn’t it be more fair to stay with him instead of marrying someone she doesn’t like?”

Seungmin seems to consider a bit more what Cynthia said, and that annoys me to no end. Why does he regard her opinion on this matter more than mine - the person who would essentially have to suffer at Minho’s cruel hands?

“Remember, it’s me who’s getting paired up with someone on our parents’ will, not you. You were able to choose to be with someone you actually love. And I want to have the same choice. Is that really so absurd?” I try to reason with Seungmin, who simply nods.

“Okay. I’ll try and give this nameless guy a chance. But if I think Minho’s the better choice, I will 100% tell our parents that as well. Hopefully, you picked a good guy for yourself, Pearl.”

With that, he leaves and closes the door behind him.

“Fuck you Seungmin!” I shout, angrily standing up and grabbing a pillow from the bed, throwing it to the door.

“Hey, don’t be so nasty. He’s your brother.” Cynthia chuckles.

“He’s stupid. Arghhhh, why doesn’t he get me?!” I pout.

“He does, but he has this bad habit of thinking that what he believes is best. He does love you, you know? And he’s kinda right… Minho is perfect for you.” She shrugs and then suddenly straightens her back. “But enough about Seungmin and Minho! Back to what we were talking about! How was the date? Tell me everything.”

“Cynth, it was… really good.” I smile brightly, remembering Hyunjin’s fingers playing with mine and forgetting almost instantly about Cynthia’s dumb comment. Minho is perfect for you my ass.

“Someone’s in loveee~” she sings.

“No. No way.” I shake my head. “It was a fake date. But he’s such a gentleman! I’ve genuinely never met anyone like him before! And he paid so much attention to me. And you were right, he likes red. He even got me those red-”

I suddenly get interrupted by a loud sound coming from my phone.

“Oh, my God. Cynth. It’s him.” I look over at my friend, and her grin grows bigger than ever. She’s like the Cheshire Cat.

“Who, your not-so-fake boyfriend you’re totally in love with?”

“Shut up. What do I do?!”

“Answer, obviously!”

“But I’m so ugly! I look like a raccoon! Why the heck is he face-timing me?!”

Oh right. The flowers. I mentally slap myself in denial that he actually remembered and wanted to teach me how to press them.

“Just answer!” Cynthia urges me.

“No! I’ll… call him back later!”

“Pearl, if you don’t answer I will.”

Cynthia stands up and comes over to me, trying to grab the phone from my hands. We fight over it for a few seconds, before it stops ringing.

“Pfiu.” I exhale, relieved. “Okay. He hung up. I will just take my make-up off and call him back. Is that okay?” I look at Cynthia, hoping for encouragement.

“You pussy.” She rolls her eyes.

The phone starts ringing again, making me freeze in my place.

Why is he so insistent?!

“You better answer this time. I bet there won’t be a third.” She shrugs and leaves the room, giving me space to talk.

Shit, what if she’s right? It probably won’t be a third one if I avoid his call again.

I reluctantly press the green button on my screen and wait with my heart up my throat for a few seconds until the call connects.

“Hey!” Hyunjin smiles, as beautiful as ever.

“Hi,” I reply, glancing at how weird I look with half my make-up off, the other half smeared on my face awkwardly.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No… I was just removing my make-up, that’s why I look so…” I pause, trying to find the right words to describe my fucked up appearance.

“Cute?” He giggles.

“No. Unappealing.” I reply, feeling my cheeks grow red from his compliment.

Why can’t I get used to this?

“Oh, please, you could never look unappealing. But do take off your make-up. You should clean off your face to avoid any clogged pores. Do you have a cleanser or make-up remover at hand?”

“Yeah. Sure. I do.” I chuckle, a bit surprised that he cares about something like this. Most guys I’ve met don’t even know what water on their face feels like, I bet they’ve never heard of cleansers. “Should I call you back?”

“No, I’d much rather watch you take it off. Why don’t you put me in front of you and pretend you’re filming a vlog?” Hyunjin grins from ear to ear, as if he had the best idea in the world, and I play along.

I place the phone against the mirror and glance directly into the lens, starting to talk.

“Hello everyone, this is Pearl. Welcome to another episode of ‘Life with me’, today-”

“Wait, why don’t you call it something like ‘Life undersea’? It would be fun.” He laughs.

“Did you just mock my name, mister?” I raise an eyebrow playfully.

“I would never.” He says mouth agape with fake shock.

“Anyways- welcome to another episode of ‘Life Undersea’! Today we’re taking off my make-up! First things first, we’re going to use my favourite cleanser - Beauty of Joseon Radiance Cleansing Balm. Look how pretty it is.” I grab the white packaging and show it around to the camera, opening it up. “It has such a rich, buttery texture. I’m simply in love with it!”

“Wow, you’re a natural.” Hyunjin laughs.

“Thank you.” I smile and bow.

“You’re welcome, beautiful.”

“Uhm… so… you apply it like this…” I stumble on my words and curse myself a bit, once again way too aware of the effect his mere words have on me. I find myself chanting “He’s a fake boyfriend!” inside my head over and over again, as if it would somewhat help the redness in my cheeks.

“I love seeing you so flustered.” He smiles kindly, while I’m battling myself inside.

“Shut up.” I brush him off, continuing to take off my make-up. Instead of being upset, he just grins.

“Okay pretty, what’s next? You’re filming a vlog, remember?”

“Oh, right. I have to go wash my face now, but I can’t take you to the bathroom, unfortunately. You’re going to have to wait here.”

“I’m waiting.”

I rush to the bathroom and throw water on my face at least 10 times, then I grab a microfiber white towel and wipe it off gently.

When I return to my room, Hyunjin is still there, looking down at what seems to be a book.

“I’m back.” I sit down at the vanity and curse myself again, this time for other reasons. I think about how I shouldn’t have said anything, and just let him do his own thing while admiring him for a while, before he noticed I returned from the bathroom.

“You know what? You’re beautiful with make-up on, but your bare face is even more stunning. I’m going to fall in love with you at this rate.” He chuckles.

I shouldn’t have taken off my foundation. He’ll definitely see the blush on my cheeks.

“So, are you ready to learn how to press flowers?” He continues, leaving me no time to reply to his past compliment. My mind is however still on his words.

I’m going to fall in love with you at this rate.

Fuck. How can he say that so easily, when my heart is beating this fast?

“Yes, I’m ready. What do I need?”

“A few books and some newspaper would be ideal. Well, you don’t necessarily need the newspaper, but the petals might stain the pages, so if you don’t want to ruin a perfectly good book, I’d recommend getting one as well.”

“Okay. Uhm, I don’t mind ruining any books, though.”

Especially if the petals would stain it - that would be even more meaningful to me, having a permanent memento of our date inside the book, even if the flowers are gone.

I don’t say that, however.

“Okay Jinnie, I’m back with the books. Are these okay?” I show them unsure at the camera, worrying that they are too small or too big.

“They’re perfect, beautiful. Now, pick a book inside of which you’d like to press the flowers.”

I look at whatever books I’ve grabbed from my bookshelf, and pick a small Japanese book titled “Convenience store woman” as my subject. I find it kind of fitting, as I’m able to relate to the main character of the book. I, too, am a bit unconventional to my parents’ dismay, and the way I view the world around me seems to disturb everyone else to no end.

“Now, place the flowers neatly between the pages, like this.” Hyunjin shows me the way he placed one single red carnation flat on top of a page. “Then close the book as carefully as you can, so as to not disarrange the flowers.”

“I think this is right…” I say, after struggling for a good 2 minutes with closing the small book. I should’ve picked a bigger one.

“And all that’s left to do is weight it down. Just put all the other books on top of this one and wait for a few weeks, then you’re done.”

“That’s it?” I ask, surprised.

“That’s it.” He giggled.

“Wow, I can’t believe it was so easy? I’m a bit dumb in your eyes, probably.” I chuckle nervously.

“No, Pearl. It’s okay to not know things and to learn them from someone else.” He smiles kindly. What he said makes butterflies grow in my stomach. I’ve always been a perfectionist, preferring to do things alone and learn on my own. This is certainly new, and it’s not even the first thing he’s taught me. I also learnt that shopping can be fun. All of this in just one day feels a bit overwhelming.

“I guess so…”

“You’re so stubborn.” He chuckles again. “But that’s one thing I like about you.”

“Are you going to flirt with me the whole call?”

“Yes.” He replies with a serious face, and I take a moment to appreciate how beautiful his blonde hair suits him, strands falling gently along his cheekbones.

“Okay.” I smile. “Thank you for today. Really. I had a lot of fun, and it’s great to learn new things.”

“I’m glad. I also had fun.”

“What will you teach me next time?” I pry.

“Hmmm. I’ll think about it.” He looks directly at the camera, and I get butterflies once again.

“Should we go to sleep?” I ask reluctantly, not really wanting to end the call. However, it is pretty late, we stayed out way longer than I thought, and I am super tired. Also, Cynthia will most likely come to bug me about the date and ask for every detail of this call, so I should get a head start and prepare.

“Mhm. We should. See you Saturday?”

“Yes. I’ll text you the address.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

“Good night, Jinnie.” I smile and press the “End Call” button with a sigh.

I really wish that when I get a real boyfriend, he’d be at least half the way fake-boyfriend Hyunjin is.

---

(A/N) Long chapter, but we hope it was enjoyable!

Reference pictures for the outfits they've shopped for below

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Storm + Orgel

---

Part One | Part Three (coming soon)

[volo-omnia]

Y'know something I really love that makes a comeback in PLA but it never gets explained ever? The Arceus sigil from the Heartgold/Soulsilver Arceus event.

Y'know, this thing.

Now I know we do get an indirect explanation from the HG/SS event, although it does make me wonder about it's meanings and connections:

To start off, the in game meaning of the sigil is pretty cut and dry. Or at least....part of it.

Triangles are pretty common throughout gen 4, with the obvious connection being the creation trio.

As explained by Cynthia in the event, the bottom left circle corresponds to Dialga, bottom right with Palkia, and the one on top being Giratina. (And of course, the larger circle in the center with the sun-like design being corresponded to Arceus.) Their designs and placements in their hierarchy is pretty directly shown here, which is pretty nice.

However we also see a similar triangle in the Celestic ruins in the modern day, with their correspondences being related to the Lake Trio. Their placements of course being related to their respective lakes they reside in Sinnoh.

Now while these separate sigils don't explain the greater whole, they do explain parts of it. Since both the creation and lake trios are represented by upright triangles, we can clearly see 2 upright triangles in Arceus' overall creation sigil.

However that does leave the much larger image unexplained for the most part. There have been theories that each circle in the larger image corresponds to another legendary pokemon in the greater pokemon universe, but it's hard to fully place where each legendary goes where.

Now what I wanna do instead is speculate the design of the Arceus sigil from an esoteric perspective.

Most sigils have different meanings and designs based on the person making them, but I just wanna have some fun breaking down the design in itself. Disclaimer, I don't expect Gamefreak to know this stuff when designing their game, so most of this will be speculation.

Now with both creation and lake trios being represented by triangles, I find it interesting that they're both layered upright as opposed to one upright and one pointed downward. From an esoteric perspective, the way the triangle points reflects different meanings. If you have a triangle pointed upward, it would direct energy upwards to the heavens, as opposed to pointed downward, where the intended energy is directed down to earth/below.

However assuming the shape of the triangle was irrelevant, the usage of the number 3 could also be a point to the worldbuilding. The common theme of trios in the world of pokemon is typically symbolized by the ideas of harmony, order, and perfection, as well as regarded as a "holy number" in various cultures and religions. At least in the ideas of Agrippa, the number 3 is considered the "ideal" number of forms, with number 2 being the number of creating matter. (Although this is interesting as Giratina does get kicked out making the creation duo, Dialga and Palkia. Their loyalty to Arceus does indeed make 3 again.) Going back to the lake trio, the number 3 being represented by the three states of mind, that being wisdom, willpower, and emotion.

However, if we also take the obvious Christianity route to things, then the usage of triangles in the sigil also is quite an obvious indicator!

Since the ancient Celestics are inspired by the Greco-Romans, the usage of 3 is also quite common in mythology! I'm sure you don't need me to explain the common trinity of earth, water, and sky in Greek myths, trying back to Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades.

Now, here is where we get to the hard part. What are the other circles of the sigil? Well....I actually have no idea.

You see, an idea I've seen others try to connect this sigil back to is that of transmutation circles and alchemy circles.

And....yeah, I guess, but this is the part where I bring back that disclaimer that I don't think Gamefreak actually knows in depth what the hell I'm talking about right now.

There's a large plethora of alchemy symbols from Agrippa, The Golden Dawn, to many other occultists throughout history that are used to design these things, but....the Arceus sigil has nothing.

Typically you would have some sort of connection between each area of the circle that you wanted to channel in terms of that celestial aspect, that being a triangle/pentagram/hexagram/etc, but there are no clear chemical symbols or connections inbetween the circles. A lot of the circles are overlapped in this kinda weird way, with a lot on the surrounding edges just kinda sitting by themselves.

So be perfectly honest I'm not sure what kinda design they were going for here? Given by the cutscenes in the Arceus event of the Earth being overlaid the image of the sigil...the circles could represent a type of unity in the world and the circular nature of creation, but part of me thinks the game designers just kinda slapped a bunch of circles together to make it look cool. (And well, probably not to draw too much attention to real life occult topics in their kids game.)

At most I can say it's a type of creation circle given it's symbolized a lot with the idea of Arceus being The Creator, but it's difficult to say given it's design is quite far from what actual real life sigils would look like. All in all though, it's still quite an interesting thing that's included in it's worldbuilding.

....although now I think I get why it's never explained directly.

[starpirateee]

For the drabbles, can I request Owen looking after Curt while he has a fever? (Pre-banana obv, and their in a safehouse)

I love you guys clarifying when something is pre-banana because, can you imagine Owen post fall feeling that instinct to look after Curt? He hates him, but he's got a fever, so what can you do?

And, on the record, I don't write actual fluff or domestic bliss that often, but I gave it an honest go? Honestly, though, I don't know how this reads

"Curt, I know you're incapable of understanding the concept of staying in one place, but for god's sake, you need to rest this off… That temperature isn't just going to blow over itself…"

For all it was worth, Owen was trying to keep his patience intact, but Curt had woken up shaking, claiming he felt needlessly hot when it was less than 10° outside. He had known Curt long enough to immediately know that something wasn't right, because Curt was one of those people who preferred to be warm, especially on a colder day… Normally, under circumstances like this, he would try and stay as long as possible in bed, and then he'd eventually resign and settle for a warm shower to keep him going for a little longer.

But, as it happened, Owen found that he was burning up, and when he spiked a temperature of almost 38.5, he put his foot down. He'd insisted in turn that Curt was to stay put and rest as much as he could, but he'd neglected to think about how the one thing everyone knew about Curt Mega was that he never stayed in one place for very long.

"How bad is it?"

"Almost thirty eight and a half."

"You make it sound like I should be dead from hypothermia," Curt complained. "And I can't be bothered to work it out… Just tell me plain, would ya?"

"That's what you get for using Fahrenheit..." Owen sighed, muttering something about stupid Yanks and their stupid measurement system, and then falling silent while he tried to work it out. Curt mustered a little focus from absolutely nowhere, and tried to watch him as he made an attempt to sound less like Curt was dying a violent death from being frozen. Eventually, his thoughtful expression passed, and his eyes met Curt's once again, as he registered just how expectant he looked. "A little over a hundred and one?"

Curt grimaced. "Where'd this come from?" Both he and Owen tried to work it out, but both of them came up blank. "God! I can't believe I got sick! This sucks!"

"It does mean you get a day off whatever it is Cynthia wants from you... What was it again?" He knew for a fact what it was. The two piles of reports on the dining room table was conclusive enough, even if Curt had never admitted outright what he had to do. Owen knew the system. Curt had to physically separate the work he had to do from that which he had already done, hence why one of the piles was significantly smaller than the other. So far, he'd been looking for any excuse not to do it, but this one was legitimate.

Curt shot him a look. "You know I'm a good month behind on the reports and shit I need to do from... uh, from France, I think. And then there was that one in Toronto, and... god, uh-"

"Copenhagen," Owen offered, helpfully.

"Yeah. Copenhagen. How the hell do you know that?"

"I saw the topmost file, that's all. You wrote the location on a slip of paper."

"... Huh. Wait wait wait, are you gonna be here today?"

"I have nothing better to be doing..." In truth, Owen wasn't going to let Curt try and handle himself, no matter how fine he tried to insist he was. It had been a little while since the last time he and Curt had been completely available like this, and thus he was grateful for every moment, no matter the context for it. This little life they'd built for themselves wasn't worth an awful lot if they were barely there to enjoy it, despite the fact that neither of them were really the domestic type.

"Besides," he added, as a little bit of an afterthought. "I don't want to be the one to just leave when you're like this."

Curt managed a small smile. "Never took you for a househusband..." He tried. The very idea of it was absurd. Owen wasn't the type for settling down and staying still as much as he wasn't, so to think of him like this was almost laughable, in it's own way. Thankfully, Owen found it amusing too, and chuckled softly.

"I dunno, Curt, I think I'd have the knack for it."

"Oh really?"

"You know fine well I know how to cook, and who knows," he leaned back on his hands and gave a wistful smile, "maybe I'd be willing to retire from our debonair old life and give in to the throws of... domestic bliss."

A wave of silence washed over them. Curt stared at Owen, but only because he'd reached a point where the response was that dramatically delivered that it was almost convincing. Owen— the most suave, capable man to ever have walked into his life— actually seemed for a moment to almost suit that idea of domesticity that he had brewed up.

The silence lasted only a moment before Owen started laughing, and Curt only had a second to cherish the sound of it before he was laughing too.

"No, you're quite right," he hummed, clearing his throat. "I don't suit it, but at least I'd suit the idea of it better than you would."

"I dunno, you've kinda convinced me... Maybe not in a traditional way, but god... Something about you being all blissful and-" he broke off with another chuckle when he tried to picture it again. "It's funny, but I dunno, you could probably make it work."

"But, to answer your question, yes. I'll be here all day."

And he stuck by that, too. For what it was worth, he was a little better at keeping himself busy than his companion could ever hope to be. He had about an hour's worth of documentation to catch up on, then there was the book he'd been meaning to finish for a while… And of course, there was always Curt. The first time he checked after as much productivity as he could muster on a busy mind, he was flat out. He seemed to have the whole temperature regulation sorted; or at least, he had it figured out for now.

Owen prepared a washcloth and a bowl of water that had started out as lukewarm, but was significantly less than that by the time Curt came around. He knelt by the bedside with the exact air of the drastic change in situationship they'd both imagined him in, and wrung out the towel before gently laying it across Curt's forehead. The latter took a sharp breath when the sudden cool hit his skin, and then managed a laugh. 

"What happened to not suiting it, huh?"

"I'm not saying I do, don't get used to it," Owen's tone was light, but he'd certainly thought about it enough in the last half hour. This was not up his alley by any means, and the idea of doing something like this constantly was somehow both something he could almost find himself doing, and the single most boring ending to his career that he could think of.

"I think it suits you..."

"Of course you do." Owen brushed the droplets from his fingertips onto the sleeve of his shirt, though smiling all the same. "You're the one of us being looked after. Speaking of, welcome back to the land of the living."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were asleep for over three hours."

Curt's eyes went wide. "Huh? Really?"

"I did tell you that you sleep like the best of them, and I wasn't joking! I suppose it only matters depending on how it made you feel, though."

"I dunno... Better, I guess?"

"Well, you're still-" he could feel the heat of the cloth from the other side, and it hadn't been in place for longer than a minute. He made quick work of turning it over, and then really getting the chance to feel just how warm it had become. One reason why he was glad that water was no longer slightly warm. At least that was something to keep Curt cool while he battles this inner heat. "Way too warm to be normal. I assume nothing has really changed?"

"... Not really, no. But, uh, this feels kinda good."

[emblemxeno]

Welcome back! <3 What's your opinion on the second generation of Shepards? There are definitely some that could use some more development imo

Thanks for the welcome back!

(Sorry for the long post, I just kept writing and writing lol)

I agree with the sentiment to a certain extent. The second generation I feel are as well written as they could be (especially since time travel is a story tool I'm not fond of), but definitely benefitted from Future Past. Even though the Future Past kids aren't the same exact characters we have, they act as a 'what if' version so I count the development as one and the same.

However, to be a bit specific, one thing about them stood out, and it's indicative of a peculiar, unfortunate aspect of FE13's cast as a whole.

The boys are written with more taste, consistency, and sensitivity than the girls. Though outliers exist (like Lucina and Severa), the second gen girls are kind of cheap? They get more "humorous" supports (i put humorous in quotes cuz I don't find a lot of the jokes funny), and are treated less seriously as a whole.

Cynthia is like a sidekick or guinea pig more than an actual participant in the conversation sometimes (which I guess is funny in an ironic sort of way); Kjelle's supports are really vapid, offering nothing that her mom didn't, and delivered with a less entertaining speech pattern, and there's only a few things worse than being boring to me; Nah... is honestly kind of a mess, teetering between playing the mature straight man, and being the most childish and annoying creature ever (e.g. I hate a lot of Nowi's supports, but Nah's support with Laurent is singularly worse than all of them and is a contender for the worst one in the game); and F!Morgan, while her actions and dialogue are supposed to be cute, I find them to be kind of boundary pushing, alarming, or even downright mean sometimes.

Again, Lucina (some of the best supports in the game period, being varied, having great dialogue) and Severa (her self esteem issues recontextualize every support chain in an artful matter) avoid this, as does Noire for the most part (she's written pretty sincerely as comedic or melancholy when she needs to be), but the four ladies I mentioned beforehand can just be... bleh. Being honest, were it not for Future Past, Cynthia, Nah, and F!Morgan would've been several marks lower. Their peaks are lower than what Inigo, Yarne, Laurent, and Brady provide, and Owain's comedy lands a lot better than theirs as well.

Though, like I said earlier, this is indicative of a larger problem I have with Awakening's writing. Since the game was written with the prospect of being the last, the popular Japanese entertainment tropes were all thrown into the mix, and they tend to be at the expense of the women. Sumia's clumisness, Sully's experience with sexism being kind of surface level (i.e. not something that feels connected to the world of the game), Tharja being Yandere 101, Nowi in general, etc. A third of them comment on being a mess in the kitchen, they blush due to crass comments or outright weirdo requests 3x more often than the men, a good chunk of them are written to get pissed at a drop of a hat, and so on.

Hell, lots of the women in my 'Favorite' or 'Love' tiers on my list, also have 1 or 2 utterly terrible supports that really exemplify this. Lucina's support with F!Robin (when they're not parent and child) is godawful; Maribelle suffers when her subtle desire to be loved or charmed is brought to the forefront (e.g. her support with Virion is like Gray/Clair if Gray was also a noble, and her support with Gregor is very tepid and flavorless when she's usually very entertaining); Cherche and Olivia suffer when they have zero chemistry with their conversation partner; Cordelia suffers when she plays straight into the 'superior perfectionist' bit (Frederick, Donnel), using her conversation partner as a way to vent about Chrom (Frederick again, Henry, Gregor), and outright becomes a nagging mom/wife who cleans up her man with Gaius; and Panne suffers when the writers decide to ignore how her race was enslaved and hunted to near extinction in favor of other characters (often men) getting to play with her ears, cuddling with her fur, or calling her cute when she doesn't want them to.

Most damningly, F!Robin is several marks lower than her male counterpart despite being the same character in-story, because a good deal of her unique supports write her badly (Chrom, Lucina, Aversa, Yarne) or barely at all (Brady, Anna, Owain). Even supports that got a laugh out of me-which is a big accomplishment-like with Lon'qu, still aren't stellar cuz they play on her being almost a caricature; like she's "Robin but a woman (derogatory)" instead of just... a version of Robin.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Okay one thing I wanted to touch upon yesterday was how I'm noticing that a lot of pokemon villains do what they do out of love. And when I say love I mean love towards something. I dunno if that explains it well but here me out:

Volo is the most recent case, he loves Hisui and wants to end it's suffering, leading him to do what he did.

Rose loves Galar ( also it's clear that Oleana loves Rose. Romantically? Platonically? Who cares, she loves him)

Lusamine, at least in usum, cared for Alola to try and protect it

Guzma freaking loves his crew and will protect them.

Lysandre loved Kalos and the world and thus was disgusted when it became "filthy"

Maxie and Archie, despite their differences, loved Hoenn and wanted to see it grow into what they thought was fit ( Archie wanted pokemon of the sea to have a better place to live, and vice versa with Maxie and humans)

N clearly loves pokemon and everything he has done was for them.

Hell, the team rocket executives in hgss/gsc loved their boss so much to try and get him back.

The only villains that don't really share this love are Ghetsis , Giovanni and Colress imo. Okay. Well. I think Giovanni does care for his grunts, but it's not what's motivating him, I mean.

Edit: So I've been given some points about Colress and Giovanni! Colress loves his science, which drives him to do a lot of questionable things. The reason why I didn't include him at first was because unlike the others science is....science. I really don't know how to explain it, but the love I had in mind was more... personal? Emotional? Though, again, when you really think about it, science is what drives Colress, so I guess I'll give it to him here.

I will fully admit that I don't see Giovanni's love for anything that influences what he does, with the exception of money and power. That being said, Giovanni in the games has shown to care for Silver in his goodbye, promising to come back when he can revive the team rocket. That ...never happened, but the thought at the moment was clear. Again, I really don't think Giovanni's love for his son was what caused him to build a team rocket. He wants to show his son the fruits from his endeavors, sure, but Silver being the motivation seems far fetched in my opinion ( also this is referring to Giovanni). This applies to Mewtwo ( I've always seen the two having more of a mutual agreement than a powerful friendship, though a bond is a bond). What motivates Giovanni that isn't money or power? It's not Silver ( I think) , so is it his team? Maybe! I don't know much about Giovanni, so please know all of this is pretty biased.

Edit #2: IMPORTANT I FORGOT CYRUS. Cyrus is very complicated. Cause compared to Volo, who effectively tried to do the same thing, Cyrus seems more inherently selfish with a destain for humanity, while Volo's seems more just and out of love. In a very very simplified way of saying it, Cyrus is a man who wants to be alone. Him wanting to erase the world of emotion is very much for himself and no one else. However, there's that conversation in Platinum that begins to put a crack in this. Cynthia rightfully says that Cyrus could just fuck off to who knows where and be alone. Cyrus refutes this, saying he can't leave the world in such a state with spirit and emotion. Let's be real here. Cyrus could have very well just isolated himself. But he didn't! Why? Because of humanity. I think this is him showing that he cares, even if it's very twisted and comes from a place of supposed hatred( or Cyrus would just say he feels nothing. Boy, if you really felt nothing, why are you doing this? Dork)

I also didn't mention SM Lusamine! Mainly because I don't have the game anymore ( I lost my cartridge:( ), so I was only going off the memory of her just. Being an asshole to her kids and being obsessed with the UB. Which is still present in USUM, but I didn't consider why she was obsessed with the UB. Mohn. Lusamine loves Mohn so much that it drives her insane. She latched onto the Ultra Beasts, the thing that was last is connected to her husband. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this goal of finding her husband eventually got lost as she became more and more obsessed with the ultra beast. I could be wrong on that, but that's how I remember it. But I still think it counts because Lusamine's whole thing is "love" so to speak. A mother's love, love for your family, finding people that will "love" you, etc.

The only person who doesn't have any type of love is Ghetsis. He only cares about himself really, but that's not the theme I was going for here so. Yeah.

[chaoticsoulsword]

A long time ago, I saw a post of yours which mentioned you didn't like Waid's take on Doom. I just wanted to say that I personally warmed up to it a lot more after reading Waid's reasoning behind it here ( https://community.cbr.com/showthread.php?168363-Mark-Waid-s-Doctor-Doom-Manifesto-(plus-extra-material) ), and I figured if it made my reading experience of his Doom material more palatable, you might be interested in it, too. <3

Thank you so much for your insight and apologies in advance but this will entail an essay...

To be completely honest... I really disagree with some points of Waid's takes and I believe a reread wouldn't change my perspective, especially when I look at his reasoning. Let's see a few things he said:

1. "This is hardly A Great Insight, but the reason Doom became king of a nation and wants to expand his sovereignty is because the most expedient way to fool yourself into believing you have power is to control everything you see and pretend that nothing else is important."

Hm, no. Waid is completely ignoring Victor's whole context of being born Rromani. He didn't become king to fool himself, he did it because Latveria was ruled by the man who persecuted his mother, father and his people for decades.

Fortunov was a facist ruler who took notes from H*tler himself for leadership purposes. Despite losing both his mother and father, Victor remained with the Zefiro, growing and providing to his people by selling con trinkets to nobles. That's what put him on Fortunov's radar yet again, resulting in a second persecution.

(Fantastic Four Annual #2 and Books of Doom #1)

Like, yeah, he loves validation. He absolutely does, it does wonders to his ego. But we can't ignore the fact that HIS PEOPLE was persecuted and enslaved. He returned to set them free.

(Books of Doom #5)

2. "I think 'Doom the Noble' would tear the head off a newborn baby and eat it like an apple while his mother watched if it would somehow prove he were smarter than Reed.

I'm sorry but what the fuck did I just read? 😭 This is UTTERLY racist, picturing two Rromani people brutalizing a baby for petty reasons over a white man, like 💀 There's literally a racist stereotype that Roma people kidnap and eat children, so again, WHAT THE FUCK

Not to mention the fact that he also pictures Cynthia as evil (or at least conniving). Simply put, it's bullshit. Cynthia has never been evil. First of all, she made a pact with Mephisto in order to save her people from Fortunov's persecution. Obviously, she was tricked and her soul, doomed. But the moment she believed Victor's "betrayal" towards Stephen was real, she refused to be part of it and chose to remain in hell. That was precisely what saved her soul. She was redeemed, her light so strong that blinded Mephisto.

(Doctor Doom and Doctor Strange: Triumph and Torment)

3. "Why has even the pre-scarred Doom always been driven to be the smartest, the most clever, the best? Look at how he grew up! G****es are outcasts, derided and shunned; of course Doom grew up eager to prove himself."

Okay, this is plain racism.

4. "By the way, the truism that Victor von Doom is, despite his villainy, a noble man is absolute crap and I can point to about a thousand moments in Stan and Jack's run that bear this out."

WRONG.

Yes, Lee and Kirby's initial portrayal of Doom is the ol' cartoonish villain, similar to Magneto even. But it doesn't mean he didn't show signs of humanity and altruism, even within Lee's writing.

(Fantastic Four Annual #2 and Fantastic Four #17, only to mention a few examples from Lee. I have more from other stories whose editor was Lee himself. That is, he approved of those.)

I mean, yeah, I can see what Waid was going for. A very petty, amoral and one-layered Doom. But he contradicts himself by portraying him as a man without a heart, especially in the core material he claimed to be based on.

If anything, Victor is deeply flawed, which only adds MORE layers to him. Yes, he's driven by his obsession with Reed, but it boils down to a simplistic view of their complicated relationship. Victor is a lonely man. And having Reed around is the only way he finds purpose in his intellect. See, he says "equal of Reed Richards", not superior as it's often stated in future issues, which means he considers Reed his only worthy opponent.

--

That said... I'm sorry if it wasn't your intention, but reading his take on how he talks about Rroma people was the last nail in the coffin for me, honestly, especially when he uses a slur.

It's okay if people prefer their Doom to be full evil, really. But to ME, he's way more interesting when his layers are all considered, just like I prefer Magneto to have his background to justify his character's decisions. If not, they'd be just one-layered psychos like, say, Carnage. And again, it's fine if people enjoy this kind of characterization for Doom, but then I wouldn't have those tender moments between Val and Victor.

Thank you again for remembering of my old posts about Victor and sharing the link! I appreciate the kind gesture 💜 (and apologies if I sounded rude or anything, that one particular statement really bothered me :/ )

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 

Always looking at each other with every single joke. 

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

[mercy-mercie-mercymorn]

TAVS.

bg3 spoilers ahead!

aurora (gold dragonborn cleric of mielikki) grew up in the woods, far away from the city. she likes animals and once spent three days chasing a unicorn, just to see what it did. on a diplomatic trip to stop logging that was infringing on a grove once considered sacred to mielikki, she got abducted. pokey sticks and fire breath quickly proved to be the best way to make her way through her new life. on the way she fell head over heels for the two dumbasses who got fucked by the Hells. so they decided to start saving people, hunting things. and now it's wyll and wyll's wife aurora and aurora's wife karlach's family business. yay hell polycule!

(aurora is the reason i call wyll my wife. he's just. my wife <3)

kassandra (seladrine drow warlock) has never been to the underdark. she has a cousin there, on her mom's side, maybe? she grew up in baldur's gate and made a career for herself as a shrewd businesswoman (she makes jewelry; that's how she got warlockéd). using people's impressions of drow against them is like her primary skill and it works surprisingly often despite the fact that she is 5'3" on a good day and has the face of a disney princess. she also has the animal skills of one. aurora is steve irwin, kassandra is cinderella. karlach and kassandra were instant besties, which evolved in the sapphic tradition of "surely she doesn't mean it like that haha" until kassandra just straight up said she wanted to make out with karlach.

(i haven't finished her playthrough yet because i'm afraid teehee)

winter (avariel [mod, winged elf] bard) is your manic pixie dream girl. i stole her name and most of her appearance from Winter The Lunar Chronicles because i am a silly little criminal. winter has never met a problem she could not make marvel-esque quips at, much to shadowheart's eternal chagrin. desperately wants karlach to teach her that silly tiktok dance she's always doin So Bad. her adventure is a very strange change of pace for her because she was previously a tavern waitress/occasional entertainer when there was literally no other option. as such, she does not know how to use weapons really at all and makes everyone else protect her (insert pleading face emoji). anyways, she's the golden retriever gf to shart's black cat gf.

(her wings get in the way of every cutscene but i still love her)

marie (human durge paladin) is like if tinkaton was a person. she hates the murderhobo ps5 in her brain and loves weird little guys (gale). voted most likely to cry at dog food commercials. i really haven't played much of her, so i haven't decided on much backstory for her.

(i just think she's a little funny)

the one that only sort of counts.

cynthia (tiefling wild magic sorcerer) is literally just my OC who got isekaid to faerun. the only people who know this are the """dream guardian""", the gods, and the three dipshits and their lame goddess. she's there to cause problems and live up to her old nickname: Godkiller. her fake persona, Lady Cynthia Tav, is from a little town on the coast and enjoys the finer things in life. her most fervent desire is to have a spray bottle so she can get astarion to stop that (at any given moment, "that" ranges from mild horniness to wanting to violently murder people). she is beginning to understand what it was like for her brother to raise her.

(don't have many pics of her, but she's the most frequent subject of my drawings)

there's a bunch of more in my notebook that i doodle in while playing

[crystalelemental]

Unit Viability Speculation - July 2023

DeNA: Establishes right away that Summer is for female protagonists.  First Lyra, then Gloria, then Hilda.

DeNA: Creates Variety Scouts for all the less popular characters, killing any hope of alts for all but the most popular of options.

DeNA: Introduces Master Fair reruns, each signaling the next batch of new characters they’re about to drop.  SS Lusamine predicts Alola VA, SSR Cynthia predicts Hisui, and now Archie predicts Hoenn.

Literally everyone: “Okay so it’s May.  There’s a May alt.  It is definitely May.”

Tate and Liza.

DeNA, I hope whoever pitched this idea is running the company now, because not only is this the best long con I’ve seen, this is also the funniest way to build this up I’ve ever seen.

Summer Tate They gave Jirachi to Tate.  After all this talk of May, Wally, and Lisia, they gave it.  To Tate.  I am in love with this decision.  Sincerely, outside of the nichest of fans of these two, is anyone actually happy here?  Is it just me and @megazardx2?  Well too bad, fuck y’all, my boy is thriving.

Tate not only got Jirachi, but avoided what I thought was the guaranteed pain of Doom Desire as a two-turn move.  No.  It turns out that’s a passive now.  Every other attack he throws out gets another stack of damage.  While we don’t know how much, the way it’s written sounds like NY!Dawn and Oricorio, so I am fully expecting 100%.  When this bonus damage activates, a random stat among the seven gets boosted by 2 stages, and the opponent’s special defense drops by 2.  It’s a slow process, but special defense debuffers have my life, so I’m happy.  Flash Cannon is okay damage, Thunder Wave is optimal Gauntlet shenanigans, and Charm is...present.  Trainer move is a classic +4 Sp Atk/+3 crit, and sync requires lowered attack.  So already his kit is wonky.  Charm is sync setup, but then you’re not debuffing with Doom Desire, which takes time on its own, and you just know there’s paralysis multipliers in the grid so there’s that angle too.

Thankfully, his grid provides a form of Overwhelm 9 that I assume takes Doom Desire into account as well given how it’s listed as a P-Move?  That or it’s only active on P-Move.  Either really good or really bad, but it specifies attack so no -3 Atk Charm.  Brainteaser’s nice, Rising Tide is fantastic, Fortuitous and another +1 on P-Moves is nice, Static Shock 5 is predictable, apparently another +1 to a random stat when he uses a status move, Natural Remedy and Quick Cure, Hit and Heal on trainer move, Ramp Up on Charm.

Tate is...interesting.  I’m not sure what else to say about the lad.  I think the kit is ultimately acceptable, but there are some oddities in his self setup.  Oddities that Lucian completely solves.  Sincerely, Lucian covers his DPS, his sync condition, and even assists Rising Tide.  Will Lucian ever stop winning?  But moreover, Tate is Steel-type, and raises the question...is this better than what’s currently available?  Base Gloria’s expansion is to die for, Palentine’s Marnie and her Zone don’t really work well wit him given his special focus (first among the Steels to be bad with her, by the way), and we also have Rose this month, who...well I’ll get to that one.  Tate just has competition, and I think the tradeoff is going to be one of utility.  Tate will be better in Gauntlet than CS, no question.  But I think Lucian does mean he has a home in CS.

Summer Liza I had to look this up, but apparently Celesteela does have comparable attack and special attack.  I always assumed it was special dominant.  Complaint redacted, this is all upside.  That said, two Celesteela before a single Nihilego.  I’m not mad, I’m furious.

Summer Liza and Celesteela come in as a Flying type Striker.  After P!Elesa, this may raise some concerns.  Be at peace, my child.  Flying Shift Giga Impact be upon you.  This is a double-edged sword.  4-bar spam Normal with 90 accuracy means big DPS numbers, but the tradeoff is she’s slow as hell, and has no other damage aside from sync.  Iron Defense and Protect are defensive tools, very unusual for a Striker.  Her trainer move raises accuracy +1, crit +3, then raises attack by how much defense is raised.  Okay, so she uses Iron Defense, then trainer move, then she can spam.  That’s slow.  Oh, except she gets Free Moves Next and +2 defense for each status move used.  So she sets up defense +4, boosts with trainer move, then throws out a free Giga Impact.  Any +2 to defense off a defensive ally like, oh I dunno, Skyla, suddenly gets her to cap.  That’s respectable.

Grid offers Super Victory (I love this stupid move on high DPS pairs), Tough Cookie (free money), MGR9 (Ghetsis strats), Towering Force and Team Sentry Entry for perfect self-sufficiency, HP Advantage 4 which is odd, Protect Physical Boost Up 3 for +3 physical moves up next AND Status P-Moves Up 2 for another +2 off either status move, which means Protect is a goddamn +5 physical moves up next stack on its own, Tough Sync 3, Piercing Gaze for some reason, and got dang Vigilance.

Liza.  You fucking did it, girl.  You actually did high Flying-type DPS without a dumb gimmick.  I legitimately didn’t think we’d ever see the day.  Sure, the gauges are a problem, but it’s nothing that can’t be solved by speed boosting, and Skyla is literally right there.  On physical stages, that’s a free win.  Masked Royal also fixes all her issues, doubles down on survival against physical stages, and debuffs defense for her.  Guys, Liza’s really good.  We actually got a really good Flying type Stiker who isn’t just good for sync.  And it’s Celesteela.  This is my daughter now.

Rose Steel Striker, okay.  Good luck competing with Gloria for...oh holy shit.

Iron Head, High Horsepower, Stone Edge, Hit the Gas 5, Max Moves, and his main passive makes all of his moves and Max Moves AoE.  Fucking suck it, Victor.  It doesn’t even let moves suffer a DPS drop, he just does that.  As an added bonus, how about we pull in some SS Giovanni, and make his Steel moves stronger while also making them never miss?  Bro, Rose, what the fuck, man?  Keep in mind that Iron Head is a goddamned 30% flinch rate, and it’s AoE now.  His only flaw is that, despite his trainer move being Eusine-esque in its immediate capping of offense, it drops speed by 2.  He was already painfully slow, and with Hit the Gas 5, Rose is looking to end a match really fast, or die trying.  Which...hey, massive points for thematically appropriate sets.

For Grid, Rose is a Pokefair, and I need to talk about the 5/5 Grid first.  He gets Free Moves Next on every hit while the field is a Steel Damage Zone at 5/5.  This is, by far, the most lifechanging skill I’ve seen on a 5/5.  Rose wants to buff, pop Max Move, then hopefully not deal with anything past that point.  This lets him continue past that point.  This is the off-type node.  It’s that good.  But, it’s also on a timer.  Once it leaves, it never comes back.  So I don’t think it’s all that worth it.  Defense Crush 9 on AoE is hilarious though.  Impervious is...fine.  The speed drop being blocked is nice but eh.  And extra power on his Max Move is...fine.  I don’t think it’s necessary, and frankly it being at 4/5 kinda invalidates his 5/5 tools by clearing faster.

The rest of his grid is Double Down 2, Interference Immunity, Haymaker and Furious Brawn, Iron Head MGR9, MAX Super Preparation which is obscene for on-type, Double Down 2 and a 50% sync bonus when the Steel damage field is up, Sync Freebie, Max Countdown 1, and some Sandstorm stuff including Surging Sand 3 and Sands of Time 2.

Rose is...really fucking good, man.  As much as I shit on Victor constantly, his AoE Max Move does put in a ton of work, and is a major selling point.  Rose copies that entirely.  While his base attack is lower than Victor’s, and his speed is a major issue, Rose makes up for it with much more efficient self-setup and frankly much better multipliers.  Rose is free, Victor needs support.  And I think Steel is a type in much greater need than Grass, while the backup of Rock and Ground, two types fairly notorious for a weaker presence, makes Rose particularly valuable as an offensive pick.  But he’s very SS Giovanni-esque, in that if supported correctly, he’ll clear just fine.  But if he’s not...he’s going to fail.  Badly.  Like, I don’t even want to think about how bad this guy has it in Gauntlet.

Oleana Hey kids, did you get Emma?  No?  Okay, here’s a do-over.  Oleana and GMax Garbodor come in with Gunk Shot, a tremendously powerful Poison-type move.  Love me some good Poison DPS.  Move Gauge Boost is a choice, Venom Drench is interesting, and her trainer move is +4 Atk/+3 crit/+2 accuracy, and a -1 sync cooldown.  Which is good because you want her Max Move early, as it applies Poison to all foes.  Sorry, Toxic.  Yeah, her passive bumps up her Poison status to Toxic, my bad.  Oh and she hits the foe with Rebuff after the Max Move, by the way.  And that Venom Drench?  Yeah, any stat debuff from a status move on a Poisoned target is tripled.  Two turns to max debuffs, and she’s an offense debuffer; I know several people about to go ballistic over this one.  Statistically, she’s relatively slow and could be better on attack, 350s isn’t great for a starting point in this day and age, but it’s Poison so like take what you can get, girl.

4/5 gives Ruthless Toxin to randomly debuff the foe by 2 (not affected by passive), and Max Move Team Defense Down 2 (again, not affected) 5/5 gives Soften Up, and Venom Drench Twofer for free moves. Regular grid has Toxic Power 2 and 3, Virulent Toxin 2 and 5, Ramming Speed (???), Move Gauge Boost: Pep Rally 2 (aaah), Hit and Heal and Berserker 2 on trainer move, Potent Toxin for more Toxic damage, MAX Shielding for defense, Staggering 1, Posthaste 2, and Power Play.  That last one is real nice.

Oleana is very good.  Is she as good as Emma, though?  In CS, I’m going to say no.  It is very hard to compete with “I can perform a denial on turn 2 with hilarious consistency.”  I don’t suspect Oleana will be able to do that, but who knows, maybe she will with Max Move.  I think Oleana’s definitely top 2 contender for Poison damage, though.  This feels well above H!Iris.  And the debuffing is very nice, very efficient, and works well with some of my favorites.  So I’m...admittedly very tempted here.

Variety Mallow Ugh.  Variety Scouts.  They’re not even Elite Four, so there goes consistency in that regard.  And it’s Mallow.  I’ll be honest, I don’t like Alola’s cast much, and don’t really like Mallow.  To make it worse, they gave her Shiinotic.  I mean...props for picking one of my least favorite Pokemon ever.  At least Lurantis is still free to be on a good sync pair.

Grass support.  Giga Drain, Stun Spore, X Sp Def All, trainer move is 1MP, +4 Sp Atk/+2 Crit/+1 Accuracy for the team.  She debuffs attack when hitting with her Giga Drain, restores more HP when the foe is paralyzed, and has Status Immunity.  Statistically, she is fine, with bulk hovering around the 300 mark.  Grid gives Master Healer, MGR9 on Giga Drain, Shielded 1 on X Sp Def All, Endurance, Revenge Boost, debuffing special attack from a healing move, Pep Rally on trainer move (1MP, that’ll help), Team Sharp Entry, Stalwart, Quick Cure, Synchro Healing, and a 50/50 to heal again when hitting a paralyzed opponent.

Listen, how do you feel about Variety Agatha?  That’s your litmus test for Mallow, because they’re functionally identical.  Both are rapid buff bots with 1MP trainer move, both want status to heal themselves but can’t heal allies almost at all, both have some means of debuffing as desired.  Personally, while I love Sp Atk/Crit buffers, I feel like Mallow kinda sucks.  I say this knowing full well she’s going to be a Gauntlet solo aficionado with these tools.  But I don’t like Mallow, and I hate Shiinotic, and the kit is not doing anything new.  Easiest skip of my life.

Variety Kiawe Kiawe brought his dog.  Apparently, following Crobat, the second Pokemon to three forms is...Arcanine.  DeNA, come on.

Ember, Will-o-Wisp, Fire Spin, trainer move gives +4 Sp Atk/+2 crit and accuracy.  Tech nuke is based on burn, instantly gimping his Gauntlet career.  He is CS focused, and to emphasize this, he gets Extend Range to have moves apply to all foes.  In addition, if the foe is burned, he debuffs special attack by 1, and if trapped, special defense by 1.  ...hey yo Bede, how you doin?

Bede, laughing: “He needs two different statuses for -1?!  PEASANT”

Grid debuffs attack of a burned foe, lowering speed of a trapped foe, Power Play and Interference Sync 5, MGR9 broadly for some reason, Terrify 2, Stationary Target 3, Scorcher 2 and Pokey Trap 5 for passive damage, Team Sync Regen, Propulsion 9 on trainer move.

In summation, Variety Kiawe is a statistically average Fire-type tech with slow-acting debuffs requiring two distinct forms of status condition and status change, impacting his point totals wildly in CS and having poor choices for Gauntlet as well, all while debuffing far slower than Bede.  Did I miss anything?  No?  Garbage.  NEXT!

Lodge Irida Lodge Irida comes in as a...Tech?  She’s a Tech?  I was fully expecting Support.  Well, Fire type, so that doesn’t bode well.

Fire Fang, X Atk, Flare Blitz (oh no, it’s just like the main series), trainer move is Sp Def +1/Crit +2 and gradual healing.  Sync multiplier is burn.  Oh no.  Standfast 9 (whew), Aggravation 2, and Hostile Environment 2.  Girl, you locked your sync on a 30%, why?

Grid has First Aid 4, Aggravation 2, Double Down 3 (OH NO) and Scorching Sync 5 (OH NO), Hostile Environment 2, Superduper Effective 2, Burn Synergy 3, and a Standfast 5.

Okay.  I don’t really know what I expected.  But Lodge Irida’s not exactly good.  High BP moves with recoil can work, we’ve seen what Lodge Gloria does, but Flare Blitz has the misfortune of positive conditions that hinder total DPS in exchange for a slight burn rate.  I’m sorry, even at your best it’s a 50%, that’s not reliable.  The issue with Fire Fang is that Staggering caps to 50%, but it can only activate one condition at a time, so you can’t use it for disruption and setting up her burn.  In Gauntlet, Burn is bad by default, while in CS, unless I’m misremembering, the only spread Burn is from H!Morty.  “And the new Kiawe!”  I am not pulling for that clown.

Yeah, this is gonna be messy.  Irida’s going to live and die by her DPS.  Sync’s condition is too difficult to achieve, and frankly, her multipliers are pretty atrocious too for a Tech, being a measly 80% and partially locked to on-type.  I’m really unimpressed.

Blue (Grid Expansion) I’m gonna be honest, Blue got basically everything he ever wanted.  Ramp Up 2 on trainer move, and a full 150% sync multiplier.  Granted, hit with the same Sync Power Flux bat as Caitlin, but at least it’s not a locked to on-type situation.  His DPS was always respectable, albeit post-sync, so this works.  If there’s any particular flaw, it’s that self-setup still requires three turns.  Ethan had a lot of trouble with this, effectively needing sync to perform a denial and thus not working so well with Support EX.  Blue has similar concerns, but the mega evolution made that mandatory anyway, so it’s not like he misses out on much.  Without a good sense for his new damage output, I’m tentatively going to say this rules.  Karen only got the Sync Power Flux, and she’s frankly insane.  Then again, her DPS was directly tied to a high flinch rate, so I kinda feel like she got it a bit better than Blue just by design.  But this seems wholly respectable.  I don’t have Blue at EX, which is a shame because that’s really what you want here, but I imagine his fans will be pleased.

Dojo Gloria (Grid Expansion) What do you offer a sync pair that’s this powerful?  Apparently miscellaneous tools.  Interference Immunity and Impervious are cute but wholly unnecessary.  Restoring Strike is good for solos, but CS doesn’t really help much.  The big victory is the 5/5 Head Start 1.  Gloria is a fast-ramp all by herself now.  If you care.  I don’t.  3/5 is perfectly sufficient, everything in her expanded grid is like...okay.  There wasn’t much room left to improve though, if we’re being honest.  Would’ve liked to see Ripple Effect 4, but it’s fine.

Clair (EX) Oh my god, thank you.  I love Clair, I’m so glad she got something.  Unfortunately it sucks.  All of Clair’s damage is in DPS.  Her only multipliers are the 100% bonus damage to her Draco Meteor for Rain and Paralysis.  Her sync is borderline negligible.  It doesn’t exactly help that her favorite partner, SS Kris, needs first sync for MP Burst, so she’ll rarely see use from this.  It’s nice, but it’s the kind of occurrence that’s like listen, DeNA, just do a windfall of the story pairs getting EX.  There’s no reason to hold off.  Most of them can’t even do anything with it.

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 and we are now at 5x11 and he is so fucking happy because Brian said i love you and they are back together. He’s smiling so big its actually hilarious.

And the scene opens with Brian at church ‘what the fuck is going on? WHO FUCKING DIED?! DID THEY KILL MIKE? I mean he was an annoying little shit but that’s a bit much. WHY IS BRIAN IN A COFFIN?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS- oh thank fuck its a dream. A horrible one at that.’ ‘Has Brian not been home to shower, fucking hell, i feel so fucking bad for him. Ted is fully in survival mode huh?’ ‘Blondie is at the hospital! Wheres Brian! I need the happy couple back on the screen. Fucking hell Emy is scared now. Okay so Mike is alive and well, good. Now back to Brian and Justin’ And we are at the scene with Brian and Cynthia now ‘i fucking love these two. Look how he cares for everyone. He has a big fucking heart and it pisses me off that people pretend he doesn’t.’ And WE ARE AT THE FIRST PROPOSAL SCENE!!! *said with huge excitement and then it died down* ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN AT HIS umm place…i love when they mock each other. Ahhh young LOVE. Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do.’ Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! *he paused it RIGHT BEFORE THE PROPOSAL AND I WANTED TO SCREAM* why the fuck is blondie being dismissive..bro that’s not what i wrote in the script inside my little brain *plays ep and Brian propose* um W- WHAT. *he moves forward while sitting as if he heard wrong and then pauses it when Brian talks about his dream* i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. Like bro let that man change. But also huh *plays ep* NOT WITHOUT HIM! So wait, hold the fuck up. Brian says he loves him. And they kiss. And he..*scoffs again* proposes. And then Blondie just says thanks and thats it? So THEYRE NOT TOGETHER?’ And we are with Ted and Brian at the club ‘i actually get why he doesn’t wanna reopen the club again. It is kinda weird in a way..i dont know. Oh Ted is not in a good shape. Whats going on with everyone’ We are now at the scene with Mel, Linds and Justin and mel says its good they realized what they had before its too late ‘PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS MAKES BLONDIE RETHINK SOME STUFF…i still hate the..you know what? Im gonna be quiet and not judge. Just go back to Brian’ and we are at the scene with Jen and Brian ‘JEN AND BRIAN!! MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! FINALLY! (She says the judy line) i fucking love this woman! And look so does Brian! They shouldve had more scenes together, this wouldve been amazing (jen says he wants to sell the loft) WHAT?! Why? So not panic then why the fuck is he selling? What is happening? (Brian tells about the proposal) oh my god. HE TOLD HER? Holy fucking shit. *starts laughing cause jen offers pills* i love her but im sure he has some stronger shit in his drawer. OF COURSE SHES SORRY HES NOT HER SON IN LAW! This is the mother he shouldve had. Remember their first scene? I love them’ The scene with Brian and Ben happens ‘man fuck every single one of those protestors. Go to hell. BEAT HIS ASS BEN! I cannot believe that Brian is the collected and calm one. My boy is growing.’ ‘Ah fuck thats why Ted is acting this way. Poor fucking guy. But thats not your fault, man. Hate to say it Teddy but the dude is right, youre not god..that dude sucks’ Brian says he calls him Zen Ben ‘i call you boring. Once again Brian is better than me. It’s still fuck Mike tho *looks at me* what? i can say it now, he’s alive’ Mel and Linds talk about Canada ‘what the fuck is she on? Does she think that this type of shit won’t happen anywhere else?’ And we are at the second proposal now: ‘where the fuck are they going? I hate this car. (It shows the house and he is suspicious and brian says ‘we do’) WE? since when do we speak French? Fuck is he talking about we? THATS WHY HE SOLD THE LOFT?! Wait he bought this for Justin?’ *he pauses tv and stares at me and then just goes back to watching*

Country manor? Since when has that been a dream? RIGHT!?! What is up with Justin this fucking season? Since when does he want to live in the middle of nowhere and be married with children? SINCE WHEN? (And also Brian told him since Day 1 that was never going to happen)

I love seeing Brian around Justin when he works. I have no clue why but I do. YES (also this inspires me for my fic ;) )

Brian asks if he heard what he said to him last night ‘yes, i did Brian! Over the sound of my own tears but i heard it! THE I LOVE YOU HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

i hate *waves his cast to the tv and scoffs* but i also hate how everyone keeps doubting his change. <- Yes on both counts. Like everyone doubts his change so he reverts to what he’s always been and then everyone says “see, it wasn’t real.” But also WTF is this sudden focus on marriage? I hate it. It makes no sense. Leave Ben and Mikey to be the happy married boring couple and let Brian and Justin stay themselves.

This Brian and Jen scene is one of my all time favorites. The two of them have come so far. And Jen is the mother Brian deserves.

Okay… onto the proposal (worst idea ever, fuck you forever writers)

[outeremissary]

How about Fire Emblem Awakening for the fandom ask game? 👀

Favorite Male Character

Easy! That's Henry, my most beloved favorite guy, my first video game wife, my silly rabbit, etc. I love that little dude! Obviously he has an absolutely S tier character design, which I shall include for the convenience of everyone who hasn't seen him before and so everyone can have a good chuckle at how absolutely predictable I am. I don't even have coherent Henry thoughts it's just like. Turning that guy around in my head like a doner kebab, y'know? But also I love that he's so cheerful, I love that he smiles even when it isn't genuine at all, I love his absolute detachment from social norms (and morality), I think it rules that he's always drenched in blood and hanging out with the dead... I just think he has a wonderful innocence that's greatly enhanced by that dash of darkness. The crow puns are also 11/10!!! And of course. A man wearing a skirt with a cape covered in eyes. AND it's all purple and gold. And also has those big loose sleeves- look, it's like he was made specifically for me!! And then the little hand thing at the end of the sleeves... Godddd he's perfect. I'm sorry Ash like I said this is INCOHERENT

[Image ID: A white haired young man in a grey shirt and dark leggings. He wears a short purple wrap skirt around the leggings. A wide purple lined black cloak billows behind him, six golden eyes adorning the collar. He smiles cheerfully and extends a hand above his head to a crow.]

Honorable mentions are Owain (I love chuuni characters...), Ricken (who has the cutest little wizard outfit), and Libra (no one say anything. I already know.)

Favorite Female Character

I made the mistake of cracking open the artbook to help me choose when writing this up and immediately had a list of like a dozen ladies who I think are all the best. This game is hell for that. Henry is so easy but the female characters... jeez. I think I'm going to commit to Maribelle! For one thing Maribelle canon sapphic IntSys can fight me. I know the truth. But also, I like that Maribelle is very assertive despite being a person who isn't a fighter, and her commitment to justice is admirable. She's got a strong spirit and always stands up for what she believes in. I'm very fond of her! She and Lissa should have been able to marry. Why can't they get married, IntSys? Why is that, why are you keeping her down

Honorable mentions: Cynthia (chuuni!!!), Tiki (ancient dragon lady who has outlived all her friends gives me many thoughts. also hot), Say'ri (another great story character), Cherche (pretty lady with big axe and dragon makes brain go brrr), Flavia (another cool fighter lady. wow), Anna (the goddess of random numbers), and of course Lissa (Lissa)

Least Favorite Character

Tharja. It's Tharja. This is easy. My least favorite is Tharja. She does have some funny supports, but I just thinks she's overall uncomfortable to be around and I dislike her overtly sexual design, which kind of presaged a lot of things in Fates I dislike. I find her a very uncompelling yandere and everything with Noire is also uncomfortable. I think it's a damn shame that she was one of the most popular female characters in the game and thus she got carried through so much other stuff.

Honorable mention: Cordelia. I don't find her pining for Chrom forever thing or her being literally perfect thing interesting. Also a vaguely uncomfortable character in some ways, but not at all as bad and Severa rules so hey. Makes up for it.

Favorite Ship

Well, when I was in high school I was a serious Henricken guy! I don't really know why, honestly. I think it was just a "these are my two favorite characters, I want to see them together." As a mature adult, allow me to say: Libra and Lon'qu is the pinnacle. I mean. All Libra ships are 11/10, that's Libra's nature, but I feel like that's something that I've seen so much compelling stuff about for years.

On the sapphic side of things, Say'ri and Tiki are obviously just married and I love that for them. The devoted warrior and the immortal dragon she protects... it's amazing. I also really love Severa and Lucina! Severa is just a fantastic character in general, and I love the initial tension between Lucina as the principled warrior and Severa, who's committed to spurning her duties (but is devoted deep down). I feel like these are like, two of the most typical possible picks. But like. They're amazing, you know?

And if you asked me to pick an m/f, since I am seeing that I've not done that, Cynthia and Morgan. It's cute :)

There are so many characters with good chemistry, I know that I cheated badly here ^^;; But like. It's all so good!!!

Favorite Friendship

The Justice Cabal!!! Which is to say, everything between Owain, Morgan, and Cynthia. I love that they're all just little weirdos and I love the idea of them hanging out being little weirdos together. Morgan isn't a chuuni but they're chuuni adjacent... the weirdgirl energy in a room containing all three of them must be off the charts. I love it.

I'm also a huge fan of platonic Chrom and female Robin. QPR Chrobin is the way... And I think there's also something really beautiful about Chrom doing so much for a woman he loved and valued as a friend, and that being as powerful as if she was a romantic paramour.

Favorite Quote

Uh besides everything that comes out of Owain's mouth? Or Henry's... Well, I'd say that because I'm incredibly cheesy, it's that "Welcome back." at the very end.

Worst Character Death (if any)

It's been a looooong time since I last played Awakening so obviously I'm going to give you the most absolutely basic answer ever: Emmeryn's death. I just think it's a really good dramatic moment, and it's a place where that false choice works. It's good characterization for Robin and it's also so fitting that it doesn't do anything at all. Emmeryn's sacrifice is only in her own hands. It's painful to watch. I like the way it echoes through the rest of the pre-time skip stuff, and it's such a heart breaking touch to see sage Lissa's clothing.

Of course, it's also the worst death because the paralogue that brings her back cheapens the hell out of it for no real narrative reason and there really isn't anything the story has to do with her, unlike the enemies that can be rescued or Robin. If any one character should have stayed dead, it should have been Emmeryn.

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

Okay time to come out and say I'm one of the five people who actually loves the end of Awakening. I KNOW people say it makes the sacrifice feel cheap. And it does, objectively. But ALSO. Do you know how happy it made me at fifteen?! You have no idea. I actually cried seeing that mirrored scene at the ending. I'm a sucker for when it all comes around. And like... the hope of that ending is also really great. It may have been a graver and more real game if those consequences really had been what they seemed, but I do love the miracle of breaking the cycle.

Saddest Moment

I've already touched on Emmeryn's sacrifice and Robin's sacrifice... hmm. I'd say that it's learning about the choice between sealing Grima temporarily and destroying him forever. When the hero learns they need to die for the greater good, that's something that always sends a pang through my heart. And the buildup to either saving themself (what Chrom wants and is so willing to support!) or becoming a martyr is, well, really good. I'm remembering it through the eyes of someone who found it very fresh, I suppose. Along with that is Lucina's assassination attempt. I mean, that's just tragic. She's right to want to kill you, but she'll never be able to do it.

Favorite Location

Either the Mila Tree or Mount Prism- I love verdant places filled with light and water. Both maps feel so soothing. They also feel so far apart from the ordinary world... it's humbling, in a way. Wonderful.

(buuuuut also Grima's back. I love that dragon man)

[torterragarden]

001 pokemon specifically x and y bc im making you take pity on Kalos

Fine 🙄

Favorite character: Shauna because of the rivals she has the most discernible personality, she's pretty funny and likable. Diantha is very cool and very hot but really doesn't do enough or live up to her potential so. yeah idk I think Shauna

Least Favorite character: Lysandre makes my head hurt trying to understand what the fuck he's about. He makes me like Chairman Rose more by comparison and that says a lot

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): uuh Shauna/Serena is boutiqueshipping I think, right? Anyway, that's one. perfectworldshipping is pretty funny so that's another one. idk if phaesporiashipping counts cause Cynthia isn't actually in XY but if it counts then that. I don't know of any other Kalos ships sorry

Character I find most attractive: Diantha, I really love her design. The old movie star vibe she's got really does it for me. Plus she's Champion so like #girlboss even tho she's one of the easiest Champions to beat

Character I would marry: Diantha. See above

Character I would be best friends with: uuh... Diantha? I guess?

a random thought: I really don't dislike XY as much as I make it sound like lmao I don't dislike it at all really, it's just that there's nothing about it that makes me want to play it over any other Pokemon game. Like I just don't Care about it is all

An unpopular opinion: Here's a big one, I never liked megas. A mechanic that only benefits like 30 out of hundreds of Pokemon, most of them being Pokemon that were already strong and popular anyway, was never that interesting to me for a casual playthrough, and only like 5 megas were even viable in competitive so it wasn't any more interesting there. And none of the Pokemon who got megas were gen 6 Pokemon despite the mechanic being introduced in gen 6? not even the starters? Oh no but lets give megas to the Kanto starters, hell lets give our special little guy Charizard two. come on. At least the Galar starters got gigantamaxes eventually and there were still plenty of gen 8 Pokemon that had them from the start. Also literally the only one that looks good is Mega Sableye, and that's just because it's regular Sableye but with ruby eyes and a big gem to hide behind. Every other mega is at best Fine and at worst ugly as shit, because the design philosophy for megas seemed to be "it's [Pokemon] but cooler, and cooler means busier". Have you seen mega Garchomp? Have you seen what they did to my boy? Disgusting. I never want to see it again.

My Canon OTP: "otp" is too strong a word for it but boutiqueshipping. That fireworks scene was so romantic coded this IS canon idc

My Non-canon OTP: phaesporiashipping. I just think Diantha and Cynthia should kiss

Most Badass Character: Diantha, at least in theory

Most Epic Villain: no. I am not giving Lysandre and credit lmao

Pairing I am not a fan of: I really don't know enough of the Kalos pairings to know which ones I don't like specifically, if it's obviously gross and bad for the obvious reasons etc etc then yeah throw it all out but like I don't Know

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): LYSANDRE. Also Diantha. How did they set her up to have an opposite philosophy to Lysandre in her first scene and then just never have her play a part in anything involving him later

Favourite Friendship: Shauna and Serena I guess, or Shauna and whatever the male player character was if you prefer. Calem? yeah

Character I most identify with: Sycamore because I am also a dumb idiot villain apologist

Character I wish I could be: I would sooner die than be French

[tigirl-and-co]

20. A boss you think is really cool

Hmmm... that's an interesting one! I'm gonna answer with a few different bosses, bc 'cool' could mean a lot of different things

Cool design + concept: Blizzeta from Twilight Princess (her 2nd form also has what's probably my 2nd fave boss theme of all time)! I also like the in-story context for her boss battle so much! (spoilers for Twilight Princess) We know already that the mirror shards are a corrupting force, and earlier we see that the Goron Chief was corrupted by the Fused Shadows. But here we see, via freaky ass cutscene, a character we liked get corrupted in front of us- it's no longer a generic 'beat the bad guy' boss fight, it's a 'saving the innocent' battle with personal stakes! and the cutscene that initiates her battle? Iconic. Everyone in the fandom knew NOT. TAKE. MIRROR. I also have an attachment to her for very personal reasons haha. But yeah her design fucks hard, I wish the combat was as interesting as the rest of her schtick.

Cool (I admire them): Cynthia from pokemon gen 4 are u kidding me I wanted to be her SO BAD as a kid. She wiped the floor with me so many times. I made a sprite edit using her as a base when I was like 12 and used it for an avatar. If I can remember the name of my old forums I'll post it.

Cool as in 'has stuck with me': Honestly a lot of the OG Luigi's Mansion ghosts are cool bc they're like... just people, and it's real wild that the first boss of this nintendo game is somebody's dead mom. But Bogmire stands out for being kind of surprise creepy. I think about it a lot. What's its deal. Yeah it's the personification of the house's misery or whatever, but what does that MEAN. I was like 5 or 6, playing this game, and I go to a hidden graveyard and knock on a big cool gravestone and initiate this battle. For little me, it was the right mix of creepy but engaging. I was nervous but not terrified. I would buy a Bogmire plushie.

Cool as in 'I look forward to it when I play the game': The darknut minibosses from both Wind Waker and Twilight Princess. Yeah the Wind Waker one isn't that tough now that I have a big grown up brain, but it's still neat, and WW Darknuts are my literal all time favourite enemies to fight in any game ever. I never pass up the chance.

The Twilight Princess one, though? Holy shit. I replayed the game like 2 years ago, and that bitch STILL kinda freaked me out! YEAH you can cheese him with the bomb arrows if ur a little bitch, but if you do a genuine bona fide sword fight? That shit's fun as hell. There's this unnameable dread when you first enter that room. You can feel in your BONES that that suit of armor is going to come to life and whoop your ass.

Cool as in most badass/dramatic: oh yeah it's gotta be the Wind Waker final battle. Everything about it RULES. (SPOILERS) You're having a desperate sword fight for your life, a 10 year old kid who left home a month ago vs an ancient warlock who was so powerful the gods themselves had to seal him away.

He won, btw. Like Ganondorf literally wins in WW. It takes KoRL stepping in to DROWN BOTH HIMSELF AND GANONDORF to prevent Ganondorf from getting his wish. So you're trapped in a room, water pouring in on all sides, against a man who... doesn't even hate you. He's just doing what must be done. He could have killed Zelda, but he doesn't. He puts his sword away and backhands her instead of running her through. He's 100% just playing out his destiny. You aren't the one who defeated him the first time, you're just some kid who was dragged into this by a ghost.

And when you kill him BY STABBING YOUR GODDAMN SWORD INTO HIS HEAD, he laughs quietly before delivering one of the most iconic lines in Zelda history. Like that whole battle, from opening cutscene to the final, is so intense. So fucking intense. I'm convinced they couldn't have gotten away with half the shit they do if the game wasn't so cutesy. Easy Teen rating.

Cool as in Best: WW Molgera is 10/10. The fight itself is fun and satisfying! Molgera has a KICK ASS design! It's a fantastic and mood-setting opening cutscene! The sound design on the boss is freaky in all the right ways! It's a UNIQUE boss battle! She's got the greatest boss battle theme in the whole goddamn series and I'll DIE on this hill! She was so scary I cried while watching my dad play when I was little, and once I got to her battle on my own I not only remembered her, it took me two days to work up the courage to face her, and I felt like an absolute fucking badass once I did! In that moment, I fell well and truly in love with video games. I was Link, a child facing down an ancient wyrm, terrified but pressing on.

Also, in the original GCN version of the game, the hitbox on her tongue doesn't go away when she starts flying, so you can hookshot it and force her back into the sand.

Thank you for the ask, doubly so if you actually read all of this haha <333