#what will missing link do to the fandom when it releases i wonder

[peachjagiya]

do you really not think taehyung lies ever? how can you not see that taehyung is just feeding you shippers to keep you satisfied. he knows you are a large part of his fandom so he posts these things of only jk bc he knows ppl die over it. otherwise what’s the point in posting it? if he rlly missed jungkook he could’ve just called him. no need to post on your instagram about it. that’s simply attention seeking.

Ooh I wonder if I can also buy two separate cardboard cut outs of how Jungkook looked at exactly the right point in February 2023 to put in my photos to make it look like he flew nine hours to be with me. Do you have an Amazon link for those? I'm particularly interested in the skydiving harness one. It's super niche but would be great in my collection.

Where's the lie?

YET AGAIN failing to recognise your nerve and audacity to call Tae an attention seeker when there was a video released literally yesterday of Jimin talking about 3/4 hour drinking sessions with JK. The sheer gall. Aren't you embarrassed? So hypocritical... in public?

YET AGAIN you lot remove Jungkook from the decision making equation because you have zero respect for him.

But that's ok because this tired, predictable and desperate commentary that demonises and targets his closest people pretty much guarantees Jungkook has zero respect for you either.

Byyyeee.

[companionwolf]

for the better

Fandom: Blaseball

Summary: Parker MacMillan IIIII knows what is now is better. So why does it still hurt?

A/N: Takes place post canon in a 'verse where the game in universe evaporated and knowledge was lowkey wiped from the minds of the public. AO3 link.

Your name is Parker MacMillan IIIII, you were the intern-interim Internet League Blaseball commissioner, and once you were doing a great job.

Now, here in a world that has all but forgotten, that goes on without the game (how do they do that?), you struggle to keep yourself afloat. 

(The ache in you says that has gone on far longer than just now, that it ate at you in the midst of Expansion, gnawed on your bones even back at the Era's start when you were still mercifully blinded by Her golden words).

...Even the Fans are gone now.

You are (still) so entirely alone.

And the worst part, you think, is that even the remnants mean nothing now-- the city(ies) of Los Angeli continue in their infinite sprawl, but no one wonders why, or remembers how they were, how they got that way.

Do you remember before.

Yes, yes, yes, and it's bitter wine in your stomach and missing something that will never ever come back, it's in the dark of night with the world spinning as you cradle the Microphone to your chest and desperately hope to hear something, anything, in the quiet feedback noise that sparks at the whispering of your breath.

(There's no one to hear it anymore.)

It's better this way, you think you hear Wyatt say.

Your vision tunnels, and not for the first time, you wish the End had taken you out with it, because what is the Commissioner without his League?

Nothing.

And yet, you know Wyatt is right. 

You know this is better, that they are free now, that they are able to live out their fragile lives-- the ones the game once held in its merciless hands. They are Released and this is better.

(You did all of what you did for them, for the -- no, for your League, because you were theirs and they were yours, and you got what you wanted, right? You wanted this?)

"If it's better this way," you slur, "why's it feel so bad?" 

There's no answer, save some vestigial echo of Her voice in your brain: You can't do this.

You tip your head back against the wall, staring at the same ceiling you've stared at for years from where you're slumped. 

...You're right, mom, you think back at the ghost of Her. I can't do this.

(Despite the End, you've chosen to remain here in the home She gave you within the now former ILB offices-- the building melts into the background these days, and no one asks questions. You're left on your own.)

...You could leave, finally. Nothing is stopping you from doing that anymore. 

(Why stay? What might be Wyatt's voice is quiet, concerned. Nothing’s here.)

"I'm the Commissioner." The words are barely coherent, mumbled around the mouth of a bottle. "And now that means I remember-- someone has to."

Somewhere, you think you feel eyes on you as that quiet voice says, I don't think that's really why you're still here, though.

The world lurches out from under you as you struggle to stand, and you hit the floor of your room hard, everything whirling nauseatingly.

Parker, says Wyatt, and the sadness in that voice makes you feel even worse.

(...Is this Wyatt? Has it ever been? Or is it all just you, pretending and pretending? You're not sure anymore.)

You lie there where you fell, close your eyes, imagine the night sky-- once, someone told you the stars were the eyes of the Fans, and you'd been so desperate for company you had believed that entirely.

"I miss them." It's a pitiful whimpering thing that sounds even more pathetic spoken aloud. 

I know.

“And I miss the game.” 

I know

"I--" Your head hurts. "I even miss Her.”

(And those are all true, terribly achingly true statements, but also not at the same time-- and you don't know how to handle the dissonance, really.) 

I don't think this all could have gone any other way except in circles, says what may be the voice of Wyatt Mason. This is better. I promise you, this is better.

You swallow hard, bite back something cruel and selfish, opt instead to curl into yourself, the Microphone still clenched so tight in your hand it hurts a little.

"When will this start to feel like it?” you ask.

I don’t know.

The choked sound that escapes you causes slight reverb and in it you hear your own voice: Don't give up.

You press further against the floor, like you wish it'd fold under you and swallow you up into the Plane's depth of immateria. This has to be better, you think, and it's desperation. 

It has to.

[bluedalahorse]

Hi! I was wondering, what do you think Simon and Sara’s relationship is going to look like in season 3? It’s been shown that they had a really strong connection as siblings but do you think that might be permanently broken? I hope that you are having a wonderful day!!

Ahh, thank you for this message! And I very much love talking about the Eriksson siblings, so your ask has made my day.

As a heads up, I write from Sara’s POV in the longfic I share with @heliza24, and as such tend to think of a lot of the events in Young Royals from Sara’s point of view first. So this response may be more about her than about Simon, since I am wholly unused to thinking of things from his perspective. I invite some of my more Simon-savvy folks to weigh in on his behalf, if they see one of my points that they could build on. I have also linked some of my past metas in case they are illuminating.

So I am thinking—hoping—that the resolution to the Eriksson siblings falling out will be one of the major plotlines in season 3. I imagine that they will reconcile with one another, but I also imagine that Lisa will make us stress our way through it, because she takes great pride in playing with our emotions and making us cry.

Before I talk about season 3, I want to talk a little bit about what gets established as true in season 1. While Simon and Sara do have a strong bond with one another, there are also unspoken tensions running through their relationship from the beginning. Simon’s been parentified into a role where he thinks he has to look after Sara and help her find friends and be successful at school. Meanwhile, Sara wants to be more independent and have a chance to define herself outside of her home and her family. Sometimes this comes out in messy ways, like when she talks about her cheap riding pants. I also think about what’s unspoken, like when Simon has Rosh and Ayub wish Sara a happy birthday. This is an incredibly sweet gesture on Simon’s part. At the same time, I can imagine it was potentially pretty embarrassing for Sara throughout her teenage years to have no friends of her own, such that her brother attempts to share his friends with her.

On one hand, Sara and Simon celebrate one another’s happiness. Simon is glad to see Sara becoming friends with Felice, Sara teases Simon in a loving way when she figures out his relationship with Wilhelm is taking off. On the other hand, they are also starting to keep secrets from one another. Simon’s going to see his father, for instance. While on the surface, that’s mostly about the “business” of the money and the booze and so on, I think there’s also a part of Simon that misses connecting with his father over music and other things. There is a part of him that wants things to be better, who (based on what Ayub says, anyway) always ends up disappointed. Meanwhile, I would argue that Sara and August are already developing attraction to one another before the video gets released. Even without the video release happening it’s likely more would have happened between them and that this would have affected Sara’s relationship with her family and friends, although it would have happened in a very different way.

ANYWAY. Part of the reason I’m bringing up this rehash of season 1 in the first place is that I think we as a fandom tend to idealize that scene with Sara teasing Simon about being in love with a prince. And it’s incredibly cute! It’s easy to feel sympathy for Sara in that moment because she’s doing something a lot of members of fandom would do in her place. Wouldn’t we all love to tease Simon about being in love with Wille? 

Outside of that scene, though, there are other moments where the Eriksson siblings aren’t quite on the same page, or there’s tension between them that’s going to come out in other ways later. Not because one or both of the Eriksson siblings is evil, but because they’re both growing up and figuring out who they are and what they value, with all the mistakes along the way that entails. Even if the video never got released, they still would have had to reconcile the different people they are becoming and the different ways they grapple with their family history of trauma. August is not the root of the tension between them, but he is the catalyst that brings that tension to the surface. In another situation, it might have been something else. I think any good reconciliation scene has to have that complex understanding of their season 1 relationship lying underneath it if it’s going to feel satisfying.

As for paths to reconciliation, I can’t say I know exactly how things are going to play out. I have a few thoughts about what sorts of plot points could make for good storylines (they don’t all need to happen, these are just different ideas I could see working) and a few things I don’t want to see happen onscreen. So I’ll organize them into bullet points below.

Things I’d be interested in seeing happen with the Eriksson siblings:

I keep wondering if Sara might run away or disappear for a while at the beginning of season 3 in a way that has people close to her worried. At the end of season 2 she’s costumed in a way that feels stuck between worlds, wearing the half of her Hillerska uniform without insignia and the purple jacket that matches her brother’s signature color. I don’t know if I believe Sara was taking that suitcase back to Linda’s house, at least not long term. I can see her trying to run away from everything. A situation like that could shake things up for both Simon and August and force them to talk to one another in situations that don’t involve rowing or drug intrigue, and that could make for interesting interpersonal drama. Like a scene where August and Simon actually have to interact honestly and there’s impassioned yelling of truths? Give it to me. I’m honestly more excited for that than I am for sweet Wilmon moments, because I’m 99% certain I’m getting enough sweet Wilmon moments to make me happy, but I don’t know if I’m getting anything equivalent to the “Simon beats up August in a field and then August rocks and cries” scene we see in 1.3, and I love that scene.

I’d also love a series of events where Wilhelm and Sara get to know one another more, and Wilhelm then acts as the person who helps the siblings reconcile. There’s a reason the writing team has gone out of their way to keep Wilhelm and Sara from interacting for so long, and it’s probably because they have some deeply significant interaction planned between them. Wilhelm would also be motivated to help Simon and Sara reconcile because he knows what it feels like to lose a sibling. And I think it would help Sara to get to know Wilhelm, too. She doesn’t know much about him the way the audience does. At the beginning of season 2, Sara isn’t super trustful of Wilhelm, and given what she knows about him, this actually makes perfect sense. I can see his coming out speech at the end of season 2 as something that lays the foundation for her to trust him more fully, though of course their relationship would need to be built up over time.

A storyline where Sara is pregnant could theoretically be on the table. This one opens up thematic questions about adulthood and whether we can break generational cycles, and that could be the catalyst for some worthwhile Sara-Simon conversations. If Sara decides to seek an abortion, she might be in a position where she confides in Simon about that. This could shift the calculus of their relationship a bit—before, Simon’s protectiveness  of Sara, although well-intended, has always had him responding to her as if she is younger, or at least less mature. Yet this would be a situation that they could respond to as young people entering adulthood, perhaps more as equals. Alternately, combining this idea with the idea above, what if through a series of events it ends up being Wilhelm who finds out that Sara is pregnant and supporting her through the abortion process? There’s potential there, too.

If Sara doesn’t run away, she may try to move in with her father. I know a lot of people don’t think it’s likely, but she went through enough life-changing things last season. If she doesn’t feel comfortable going home to Linda, maybe she feels like going to her dad is the only place she can go. This could also push her relationship with Simon in new directions, and push them to have some needed conversations.

Overall, I would also like Sara and Simon to realize that they have some important things in common, and that they are more alike than they are different. Both of them are deeply empathetic and caring, but also at times guarded because of their past traumas. Also for fuck’s sake they somehow managed to fall in love with the teen boys who were first and second in line for the throne, and yet neither of them comes across as particularly monarchist. There’s got to be a dark humor in that, right? I hope we get a scene where they’re able to laugh about that—not in a way that trivializes it, but in a way where you feel the gravity of their situation sinking in.

Things I don’t want to see happen:

I do not want to see Sara get a Dorothy Gale, humbling, click-your-heels ending where she’s back home and everything reverts back to “status quo” and we’re supposed to assume she’s happier, and it’s only then that she can reconcile with Simon. I especially do not want to see this in a universe where it looks like Simon’s going to end up an internationally renowned music star or Prince Consort or both. I just feel like this happens to female characters a lot, and so many female character arcs are about being humbled. It’s easy to think of the part of herself Sara shows at Hillerska as “not the real Sara” but… Sara is eighteen. She’s figuring out who she is. I think Sara At Home and the Sara At Fancy Boarding School are both real, in a way, and she’s figuring out how to integrate those aspects of her personality that are in conflcit. Maybe this is something I feel strongly about because of the way school, and especially university, helped me express sides of myself that I wasn’t able to express at home growing up. But if the message we get sent about Sara is that only her brother and her mother knew the “real her” and she should just be humble or whatever, I will eat an entire bar of soap out of rage or something.

Likewise for the show using rhetoric along the lines of, oh no, poor little naive neurodivergent Sara did not know August was a big meanie manipulative predator, gosh isn’t it great that we have confirmed that she was enough of a Virginal Ingenue for Simon to forgive her. Sara is neither a Virginal Ingenue who is fully pure of heart nor a Wicked Jezebel who intended to wreck her brother’s life so she could get laid in a fancy dorm room. Sara and August’s relationship was as complex and fascinating as Wilhelm and Simon’s even if the season 2 outcome was more negative by the end, and there are a lot of ways that the two mirror one another. I don’t want Simon to be like “oh I get it now, I can forgive you because you were a manipulated, perfect victim.” That would just feel… icky? And it would flatten what I see as an important connection between the siblings.

For the love of Freya and Epona, I do not want Sara to die. I don’t think she will, I think there was some interview where Omar said that no one was dying, and I hope I’m right about that. That would feel even more icky than the two plot points above, and it might be one of the few things that could kill my love of this series.

One thing that worries me about season 3 is that we really don’t have much indication of what Sara’s arc is going to be yet. There hasn’t been much promo material with Frida compared to the other actors and one news release way back in the day even listed her as “recurring.” Which, as one of Sara’s most steadfast enjoyers on tumblr, freaks me out a little. These promotional details would make sense in a “Sara runs away” scenario or perhaps a “Sara goes back to Marieberg” scenario.

Whatever the case, I hope Sara isn’t sidelined. I don’t think she will be—Lisa clearly has as much love for her as she does for the other characters—but I sometimes worry that if she were sidelined, fans wouldn’t care as long as Wilhelm and Simon got to kiss one another onscreen enough times and go on cute dates. Ultimately, though, I have to tell myself that this worry is all in my head, and that most fans in the fandom want to see Sara have a meaningful arc, and want Simon and Sara to have a chance to reconcile. So now all that’s left to do is wait and see what the new season yields, I guess?

In the meantime, we can always write fic about the two of them reconciling and see how close we get to canon!

[aftokrator-official]

Screenshotting because it's not rebloggable anymore (omitting OP's name for that reason) but this post - more specifically the replies to it - have been bothering me since I saw it a day or so ago and I finally decided to come back and engage lmao. (Source link from OP)

OP's totally right. OpenAI is a garbage company with garbage business practices but this is not the way to do this, people. I'm glad y'all have so much faith in the legal system here, but I don't, and if this goes through it's not going to harm the entities you want it to harm. believe me.

(i am not against AI when used ethically but i think that is a moot point here bc i do not believe OpenAI is an ethical developer of AI tech. anyway)

Here's the "rebuttal" that has been irritating me so much I couldn't leave it alone:

THIS IS NOT REMOTELY TRUE.

First of all, unless I've missed something big, OpenAI has never disclosed the contents of the proprietary dataset they use to train their LLMs. We have no idea whether ChatGPT was trained on George RR Martin's books or not. Presumably, neither does George RR Martin. So all we have to go on is that ChatGPT "knows" characters and details from ASOIAF. Okay.

The problem is that ASOIAF is a massively popular series with some massively popular multimedia adaptations and spinoffs, and processing the text of the novels is far from the only way ChatGPT could have learned to produce those details.

Let's try a little experiment.

GPT-2 is an open source model released by OpenAI when they were just starting out. It works more or less the same way as ChatGPT and its ilk, just on a vastly smaller scale. It's much, much more limited, but the underlying algorithms work on the same concepts. So, what would GPT-2 give us if we ask it for a summary of a hypothetical GRRM novel?

I typed up the first paragraph here, and GPT-2 gave me the rest. (GPT-2 isn't a chatbot, but works more like autocomplete, so I didn't prompt it directly.)

Okay, I have a feeling that plot doesn't make much sense as a prequel, but hey, it's AI (and an elderly one at that), it's not going to be particularly good at this left to its own devices. And look, it DID pull out a few details specific to ASOIAF - Jon Snow, the Night Watch, the Wildlings. So case closed, right? GPT-2 must have had ASOIAF novels in its training data too, just like its nasty little great-grandchild.

Except we know what was in GPT-2's dataset - it was trained on a 40GB corpus of data scraped from publicly-available web pages, specifically pages linked from Reddit. We don't have all the exact texts that were used, but we DO have the top 1000 domains contained in the dataset. All of which is a hell of a lot more information than we have on ChatGPT.

What websites are ranked #75 and #160 in the list of 1000 domains? Why, it's Fanfiction.net and AO3. Hmm, I wonder where it learned about the very popular fictional characters from George RR Martin's novels! (Certainly not just from fanfiction, either - sites like IMDB and Wikia were ranked much higher in the list of sources, and entertainment news and fan wiki articles would also contain a lot of text about ASOIAF/GoT.)

You can certainly argue that using these websites as training data is also unethical or should be illegal - but that's not what's being argued in this lawsuit. As far as I know, ChatGPT has never spat out a perfect recreation (or even a vaguely paraphrased recreation) of any of GRRM's writing, so the only evidence for violation of his copyright in this case is the generation of what is essentially a machine-created derivative work. That is really, really worrying, even if you don't think the machine should be allowed to do that. I'm not a lawyer, just a fanfic writer and software developer, so I have no idea how legitimate the legal argument here is... but it's going down a road that is very dangerous for fandom, whether you believe it is or not.

[xveilofnightx]

“Hospitality”

Genre: comfortfic, narrative, oneshot

Fandom: Pikmin

Characters: Olimar, Pikmin

Audience: All ages

Words: 930

Date Published: August 18, 2023

Summary: Captain Olimar is on a limited expedition when he falls ill. Never-before-seen Pikmin behaviors help him rest up.

AO3 Link

For Captain Olimar, it was Day 2 on PNF-404 during a short work-related expedition. He awoke as usual in the quarters of the present day S.S. Dolphin. He took a breath, and it hurt.

This was not a life support issue. Olimar had a sore throat that morning. He lifted his head and it felt unusually heavy to him. His nose was full and caused him more difficulty breathing than his chest and throat already had. He forced his arms down into his pod and sat upright with a hearty cough. He exited his ship as he normally would and felt his body suddenly stiffen when the oxygen-filled air made contact with his suit. Chilled to the bone, he felt dreadful joint aches with every step toward the first Onion. He worried for a moment, and then stubbornly continued, not letting his illness prohibit productivity. He retrieved many Pikmin, red, yellow, and blue, and marched forth upon the newly surveyed terrain.

There was nothing abnormal until the captain began to shiver. It stopped him in his tracks. To be out here on a planet that had caused him such great turmoil by once separating him from his family, Olimar started to feel as lonely as he did during his very first time researching PNF-404. Being sick here was new to him. This time, he was not alone, for his second family was right here. The Pikmin looked toward him for direction only to see their leader in discomfort. Olimar released a deep cough and the Pikmin started to worry. No Pikmin had ever known their leader to behave so odd. Olimar suddenly looked in their direction, wondering what they might think. Are Pikmin familiar with illness?

The Red Pikmin tilted their heads, the Yellow Pikmins’ leaves began to droop, and the Blue Pikmin gave an expression resembling a frown. They knew something was wrong, and Olimar could tell.

Do I have time to rest on a timed expedition? If I rest, will it be a waste of resources?

Olimar’s sickness was clearly debilitating and would affect his planned operations, but he could not stand the thought of losing time. The Pikmin had different concerns and felt a strong urge to protect their leader at all costs. They quickly surrounded Olimar from the opposing side and seemed to almost push him back in the direction of the base. His body was hoisted by little Pikmin hands pushing and pulling at his suit. The captain gazed around him at all of his soldiers swaying him back to safety. He almost did not believe what he was witnessing in front of his own eyes. He knew that Pikmin would work together in order to fulfill his interests, but the Pikmin now acted without orders to directly protect their leader.

After reaching the base, the crowd huddled close to Olimar. “Ah…” sighed the captain. He was engulfed in warmth. The Pikmin piled on top of themselves to form a fort to both warm the leader and shield him from harm. “A-choo!” Suddenly, Captain Olimar had sneezed. A few Pikmin flew off of his body, and waddled back over. The captain sniffled loudly. “Thank you, Pikmin.” He said in a low scratchy tone.

Maybe it’s good for me to rest. I can make note of this new behavior I’ve noticed in the Pikmin.

Olimar relaxed his shoulders and lowered his guard, just until he noticed a few missing Pikmin. His heart crumbled with worry. He quickly tensed and almost began to walk away to find them. The Pikmin reinforced their hold on him, and shoved his body towards the ship once more. This time, their mass movement seemed more assertive and intentional, nearly knocking the troubled traveler off his feet.

Why would the Pikmin stop me from moving away? Why are they now controlling me? Is this a protocol for population control?

In the instant that Olimar collected his thoughts, some assorted Pikmin ran from out of sight into the crowd carrying leaves toward the S.S. Dolphin. The ship received the leaves, and more Pikmin kept coming. Held almost completely off the ground by his arms, Captain Olimar had his boots dragged into the dirt beneath him as he was swayed, gently again this time, towards his spaceship. He entered to rest, while his beloved Pikmin returned to their respective Onions. In the grand space of land Olimar was set to explore, the confined warm S.S. Dolphin was an escape. Here in his ship, the captain could hear his ears ringing. His entire skull throbbed. His tingling hands felt the cool leaves surrounding him. The Pikmin assembled a nest for him. It was cold now, but would soon warm him as he rested between them in his pod. Here, too, were rations from Hocotate. Using the ship’s electronic food preparation system, Olimar heated a canned ration in a bowl, a steaming hot serving of PikPik Carrot soup. It was not as good as his wife’s, but it cleared his sinuses enough for him to breathe. The glass bowl made the slightest clang when softly placed beside the control panel. Occasionally sipping at the soup, Captain Olimar wrapped himself up in the makeshift nest of leaves inside his pod. His mind was fogged and his eyes felt heavy. His shivers faded as he fell asleep.

Once fearing the idea of falling ill so far from home, Captain Olimar’s fever-ridden brain was soothed by the warmth and care the Pikmin provided. PNF-404 never ceased to fascinate the galaxy’s greatest freight worker.

Thank you, Pikmin.

[alarrytale]

how long people are going to tolerate and buy the fake stunting for

________

The majority of his fans don't think his girlfriends are fake. The wider public outside the fandom who listen to his music think they're real, so do most of his fans outside Larries. His fandom actually grew during his worst stunt, Holivia, and his most popular album was released at the height of that stunt.

This proves that the vast majority of his fandom is unaffected by stunting and don't see queerbaiting either, just a flamboyant style of dressing on stage which is endearing, not irritating.

Inevitably he'll lose fans as he ages into his late 30s but not until then. The current popularity of 1d is linked to Harry's popularity and if they did reunite, a lot of the audience would be there to see him. But given that all tour profits would be divided by four I can't see a day when a 1d tour would be more lucrative than another Harry tour, regardless of his age. Really popular artists like Harry can still tour in their 70s.

Hi, anon!

You are describing the current situation. What you miss is the fact that his fandom is growing up with him and he's aging too. H's relationships will also be less and less convincing, because he will make less and less of an effort to sell it. These two last relationships are being bought as real by fewer and fewer people. This last relationship isn't giving him much else than a beard. They don't create a lot of buzz together. People aren't as interested. Also, in the future, who will he stunt with, who are that desperate for attention that they're willing to closet someone who won't make much of an effort to sell it? Who will say yes but are controlable enough to not do something that will tanish his image?

H gained a lot of attention during Holivia, but it did tarnish his image. It was too much drama and people ended up taking Florence's side in the feud. The TR stunt we're seeing now is to repair some of that damage. If H keeps stunting he'll end up like a laughing stock like Leo is. Even if he did get attention during his album launch, i think his music gained him fans, not the drama. I don't think Harry's rambling performance in Venice gained him new fans, quite the opposite.

If 1d were to reunite a lot of people would be there to see H, that's true. Nothing wrong with that. They'd learn to see how wonderful 1D are together. Also, it's not about the money for H. Nobody is saying that a 1D reunion means the end of their solo careers. I think it would give them all a boost, H included, if he's loosing his popularity or need an image boost. Also, H's money is L's money and vice versa. So you'll have to factor in Louis' earnings in your calculations too.

[outeremissary]

9 People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43. Thanks for thinking of me! I know I haven't been around much (for reasons we don't need to get into), but truly nothing summons me faster than the email notification about a tag game where I know I'm going to have to say something horribly embarrassing about myself.

Three Ships: I mean, if we're counting stuff with OCs then obviously anyone following my knows Balthazar and Tristian (and the wonderful polycule with Vio) is my number one. Aside from that, the latest volume of Witch Hat has fully converted me into an Agott/Coco true believer. I actually did like the Coco/Tarteh vibe but Agott's special brand of slowly changing rival just has me by the throat. Aside from that? Ummm. Elliot and Leo from Pandora Hearts? Does that count? I did my full reread of Pandora Hearts while afk in September and those two have had me since like 2012 or 2013 or whenever they were introduced in the English release. But now that I'm older and more mature I can better appreciate what the messy later arcs had to give, and that's the beauty of a relationship between equals corrupted by a growing imbalance no one has the strength to acknowledge and devotion so deep it tears both of their lives apart. That's awesome. 11/10, everyone read Pandora Hearts and I'm not even joking

First Ever Ship: Gamers, back in early 2012 when I was in middle school and could only see images on the computer at school because searching for anything visual online was mega bad for rural internet, a friend of mine used a science classroom computer to discover you could find non-canon images of The Legend of Zelda if you searched terms like "Link blue" and scrolled down a couple rows. I distinctly remember this as the first ever time I really understood the concept of "fan art," and more importantly as my entry into fandom as we all began to realize many of these came from the same site: a place called "DeviantArt." Some of these contained such salacious and unthinkable things as two boys holding hands and blushing, and also both of those boys were Link. I was so captivated by these mysterious images that I followed them to their Four Swords Adventures manga RP fandom source, where I am not proud to say the first "ship" I adopted as such was Vio (Violet Link for people who spent their time doing better things at thirteen) and Shadow (Shadow Link, of course). That's right, everyone! It was edgy Link selfcest yaoi between a traitor and an angsty villain all the way down!!! And you know what? When I write that I don't think my taste has changed. Except the selfcest. Mostly.

The other, more respectable first ship I remember not long after that was Ulquihime. What can I say, there's just something about the Stockholm syndrome of it all.

Last Song: No title - REOL. Narrowly missed this being edgy early Vocaloid. I've been revisiting old favorites recently.

Last Movie: I'm pretty sure it was Surf's Up. For whatever reason my friend decided we should rewatch it when I visited him a few weeks ago. Holds up better than it should, but I've rewatched it twice in little over a year and truly that is my Surf's Up limit. That trip was also when my friend forced me to watch Barbie and the D&D movie. Look at me catching up on relevant pop culture only for fucking Surf's Up to be what made this list.

Currently Reading: I'm pretty sure this came up last time, but because I haven't gotten started on a better book since then I'm unfortunately still periodically chipping at The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn. This book fucking sucks. Don't read it. If we could manga and stories that are actually good I recently did a Witch Hat Atelier reread after getting volume 11!!! That volume is. So painfully personal.

Currently Watching: Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and Jujutsu Kaisen season 2. JJK is with my friend for weekly hangout, but Edgerunners is a solo endeavor because it was bumming him out way too much. Good show though. Also JJK was way more of a bummer than expected in ways that caught me off guard??? I'm not getting over what happened to that girl, I really got fucking got by that scene. Jesus

Currently Consuming: Nothing. Just finished dinner, where I had a chicken sandwich and fries. I need groceries. It's dire.

Currently Craving: doing something creative, but that would require moving the giant zine pile on my chair........ this is how I'm procrastinating

I'm sorry, but I'm actually not tagging anyone on this tonight! I haven't been on enough lately to know who has or hasn't done it, and frankly I'm not ready to be back on Tumblr enough to map that out. If you're seeing this and want to do it, please go ahead and do it. Tag me like I tagged you, we are collaborators in this and I want to see what you say.

[cosmicgardencreative]

Some thoughts

Everyone's heard someone's own tale of woe of missing the old days of the internet. Never once during my 20s did I think about what kind of struggles NSFW artists would go through into the 21st century.

But after departing from y!Gallery for transphobic rules, then tumblr's poor handling of the porn ban, and now Twitter/X for just general wtf-ery, it's not easy uploading anything adult content nowadays and hope to build rapport.

Needless to say, I think tumblr is a fine platform if you toe the line just right. After Ismaire's sequel Halloween piece was hidden then red-flagged, it got me thinking about our experience so far on tumblr:

1) I follow #dark fantasy with the intent of seeing dark/gothic artwork, and yet somehow "dark fantasy" is conflated with dirty talk. I didn't think much on it cos whatever, everyone has their thoughts. Recently, though, the algorithm suggested a post where someone openly talks about masturbating to a porn vid and getting lost in their orgasmic headspace. It left me impressed when I realized how many people are willing to express their kinks with such explicitness -- without any mature labels. Surely Community Safety has bigger fish to fry, like those porn spam bots👍

2) An artist I follow shared a nsfw link to an old post with the Mature community label, and the image depicted an obviously explicit penetrative sex. Surprisingly, it's still hanging on because I guess a cleverly placed sticker was a good enough censor. You'd think this is somewhat encouraging that maybe we too can share some creatively drawn sexy times. The same artist also managed to hide an explicit pic of their OC getting finger banged under a "keep reading" link, and that was definitely not censored. I'm glad they're able to show it off, but personally, that's way too many mental hoops to jump through just to share the conclusion to the OC's horniness.

3) So then I post a drawing of a queer triad wearing scantily-clad costumes, no labels for potential mature content. We'll ignore that MyungJin was showing of their breasts, albeit no obvious nipples, and Vance's package was implied under the skirt. Meanwhile, Ismaire's sequel piece, labled as "Mature" + "sexual themes" gets hidden right after uploading. We were left confused why it wouldn't show on our dash or in the tags. After a few attempts of troubleshooting, then we saw why: Community Safety deemed Vance's hand going down Bidan's panties as sexually explicit, even though no genitalia was exposed. After meditating on it, though, we both figured it may as well have infringed the community guidelines🤷🏻 There's no reason why we should be confused by this, right? Especially after point #2.

While I'm on this topic, I need to point out that tumblr failed at being transparent how their Community Labels work. Yes, it works by helping people who don't want to see mature content. But was there ever a mention on how tumblr will hide your post from tag search if it detects infringement even with the Mature label? Maybe we're late to the party, but I guess it now makes sense how some posts are able to fly under the radar. Gotta get that visibility somehow.

For those that do, remember how some people's posts were randomly flagged for mature content before the purge? I had to wonder if tumblr was able to refine an automated bot/AI that can visually detect mature themes, and flag it for staff to review. Or maybe they just straight up queue in a mature post pool for people to manually review and release.

This happened to an upload I did on a fandom blog this year. It was a Leon/Ada pic that showed a lot of bite marks on Leon, Ada's skirt was hiked up exposing her butt, and the post was clearly marked "Mature". I contacted support about it, asking why it's taken more than a day for it show up in the tags. All I got in response was that I should give it time, but they'll also look into the community label for me.

The conclusion was laughably redundant: "We deemed your post as mature and labeled it for you." I mean, sure, I guess I needed their stamp of approval that it was indeed "Mature". Least I got a win when it was now allowed to be floating in the tags after a couple days of the initial upload 🙄

It's tiring to compartmentalize your art when sexuality is part of the experience. And to be clear, I'm not complaining. It's just discouraging thinking that you're being compliant, to put all this thought and energy into creating a piece, only to have it hidden with no communication that it's even being reviewed until you get an email saying the post has been flagged. Meanwhile, there are people out there who'll just explicitly talk about their kinks without the community labels, or have the post appropriately labeled, but then share the real spice under read more links.

Sure, we could've appealed, but honestly, we're just here to have fun and post. Neither of us care to spend the energy debating nuance and the subjectiveness of mature content with a company who didn't find solutions to not shaft their community from the beginning. Tumblr has evolved, and it's made it clear that queer artists just can't be true with their art.

That all said, we're planning to keep the blog, but just like Instagram and X, it's a lower priority to update when the engagement is already difficult to cultivate.

In a fit of frustration, I got us a key generated to Pillowfort because at this point, where else would we share our stuff? And man, am I glad I did. It's only been a few days, and honestly, we feel a lot better for it. We're not here for the numbers or clout, but it's a pleasant surprise seeing that we gained a few new followers in less than a day after we introduced ourselves to the community.

And I'm gonna be real: it's refreshing to have people actually like your stuff without worrying whether someone's gonna judge them for it, or that there's some pending horny jail waiting for them. The like function is pretty much like an AO3 kudos, and I think that's for the better really. If I liked something enough that I want to find it again, then it's more meaningful to share it so others can see it too.

If you've read this far, and are interested in participating on a platform where engagement and communication is encouraged, with an easy NSFW label system, hmu. I'm happy to generate keys for anyone to try out :)

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober Day 20:

"People don't change people, time does."

Blanket | found family | "you will regret touching them."

Fandom: Merlin

Prompts used: allish

This one's all over the place, it took me two days and went away from what I wanted, making the next day shorter lol. But it's here.

….

Merlin- if anyone deigned to ask- would say coffee shops were one of his favorite things about the future. Sure there were quite a lot of things he enjoyed about the ever changing world- plumbing, running water, unions, etc- but Coffee and coffee shops were up near the top. Sure he sometimes- all the time- missed Gaius and his concoctions, and… well everything except the constant threat of death.

If you were gonna live an endless life, you needed caffeine in Merlins humble opinion, and since he was the only one he knew of, his opinion mattered most. He wondered how long he could live off of caffeine and spite….

"Mr. Emrys!" The voice pulls him from his thoughts, a young teen running up to him.

"What are you doing out this early, Kim?" He greets her with a smile, taking a sip of his newly acquired energy source.

"I was hoping to find you at the library, but saw you before I got there! I need your help!"

His smile falls at her slightly panicked tone,

"What's wrong?"

"My parents don't believe me, and if they don't believe me then the cops won't! I dont know who else to go to-"

"Come sit down, take a breath. What happened?"

The outdoor seating area is deserted this early, and Merlin is glad for the privacy, as the two sit across from each other.

"I… I saw something weird yesterday afternoon." She starts, biting at her lip nervously, Merlin nods in encouragement, "I was at the library, studying, when I heard a weird noise. I was worried someone was hurt, so I went to check and…" she looks around, lowers her voice, and they both lean in, "He came out of the book. Climbed out of it like a clown out of a car."

He blinks, taking this in, and looks at Kim seriously,

"Kim, I need to know what book, and what he looked like, can you do that for me?" He keeps his voice calm, steady, trying not to scare her, she looks caught off guard but quickly nods.

"It was one of the Arthurian Legends books, I… there was nothing too special about him except his clothes, like he was straight out of Arthurian times. He muttered something about the nights? And left in a hurry…"

The nights… or the Knights… this could be very bad.

"Thank you Kim. I'll take care of this, don't worry." They hold eye contact for a moment before she nods and stands.

"Thank you Mr. Emrys. Be safe." She hesitates for only a moment before hurrying down the street.

Merlin releases a troubled sigh, he doesn't quite understand it, the books were practically fiction at this point- no matter how much Merlin tried to fix it- for a 'character' to emerge… well it didn't seem likely. Traveling by book? Immersing one's physical self in a book? It was puzzling, and did not make a lot of sense, but if someone had come back, and they were looking for 'the knights', then trouble was brewing.

It seems he had some research to do once more.

The thing with reincarnation, was that you never know how soon one will re enter life, or what they'll look like. So the universe decided to curse Merlin multiple times over, for every incarnation he'd found of his past were identical to the faces he'd find now. It was painful, to see familiar faces, and have no recollection pass on them when they see you. To be cursed to walk the world until Albions greatest hour of need comes about, when you know no such place truly exists any longer, and that knights will not be what is needed in this changed world…

But even if his knights were strangers right now, he would save them, he'd always save them.

Leon, Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival, and Elyon. They've had many names since, and some lifetimes they are all there, others only some, and some none at all. Merlin has had all the variations of it, the pain never stops, a link to the past suspended out of his reach by no one but the universe itself. Sometimes he thinks he sees others too, a glimpse of Gwen, a look not unlike Gaius', Morgana through the crowd, a child like Mordred, a million other faces too, but never for more than a second, only left with the lost feeling of panic and sorrow.

This time round it's not hard to find them. Names practically the same, clustered not far from here, it's almost too easy to find them and he wonders why they haven't crossed paths yet in this life. He shakes the thought, he's been keeping busy this time round, a distraction sure, but what else could he do? He takes a breath, staring in the mirror as his form shifts. His aged appearance gains youth, his red scarf really makes the bags beneath his eyes pop, he can almost fool himself… that it's all been a dream…

He hurries out before he can reminisce anymore than that. He had people to save.

"Yo, dude, if this is some weird LARP thing, can you leave me out of it? I got work to do!" Eli strains against his bindings, yelling at the door before him.

The men on either side of him are doing much the same, looking just as peeved as he is.

"Yeah mate! Whatever game you're playing, I don't want any part of it!" The guy with dark shoulder length hair to match the scruff on his face, goes for an easy going tone, but he can hear the barely restrained anger in it.

"This is ridiculous. How did one man manage to capture six fully grown men by himself, let alone keep us contained? Does anyone feel drugged?" The longer haired blond seems to be taking the methodical route of getting his own bindings undone, but to no avail.

"I'm too coherent, so, gonna say no."

"Surely if we work together one of us can get free, there's no way rope is this strong." The other blond's frustration only seems to grow with every failed attempt to free himself.

"It's good rope if it is." The tallest of them comments idly, large muscles straining and rubbed raw from the rope rubbing the exposed skin.

"Keep quiet in there! There's one more to come, then revenge will be ours…" the voice fades as their capture walks away, pacing as he's been doing.

"Oh gods, he's smeagling, this is not good." G

"Did you just use smeagle as a verb?" E

"How would you describe his behavior then?" G

"Uh, crazy." E

"Alright enough, arguing will get us nowhere." A

"Everything is getting us nowhere." La

"I swe-" whatever the short haired blond was planning on retorting is cut short as a loud noise echoes through their location- an abandoned something- and the six men fall quiet.

"You!? This whole time… you will pay for killing my Lady! The true Queen!"

"Yeah, Crazy works…"

The building is old, some small dingy little house long abandoned, Merlin assumes the guys are in the cellar, but if they'd been captured then he couldn't take this mysterious guy for granted. [See he could learn things.] So he makes an entrance, the door easily slamming off its hinge and making a rather loud crash in the space. The man is as unremarkable as Kim said, the black layered robe he wears the only indication he's not from around here- the fabric, Merlin can tell, is OLD.

"You!? This whole time… you will pay for killing my Lady! The true Queen!"

Ah, so a follower of Morganas then… or maybe Morgause, Merlin thinks a few people wanted her on the throne. It didn't matter one way or the other, Merlin could sense the Knights below, which means this was a dangerous enemy, who had it out for him.

And he had just been thinking about how he HADN'T missed the mortal danger.

Though, he wasn't mortal…

Whatever, he probably needed a fight anyway.

The guy fires first, an ameteur spell, that reminds Merlin that his knights are not knights in this world and any magic would be a lot for a mortal of this time period. He had been hoping for a challenge so his magic could have a small release. Though he supposes the guy, at least, has quite a bit of perseverance.

"I think these mortals have made you soft!" He taunts, out of breath but grinning with blackened and broken teeth, "Perhaps we should change the stakes, Emrys!"

He begins muttering under his breath, quick and malicious, Merlin recognizes the dark aura-all too often a favorite of his adversaries- but it's not directed at him, no it's directed towards the door they'd ended up at. Or rather, who lays beyond. Screams echo from beyond the wood, and they, like all the others he's heard, will engrave themselves into his memory. They are too familiar, his friends in pain, four- no… six voices calling out in agony-

His eyes glow, his hair flutters wildly, he speaks no spell but the man hits the ground like a rock anyway. The screams cut off, but Merlin isn't done,

"You will regret touching them." His voice echoes around them, low and dark.

"B-but you… you are Emrys, you don't-"

"You were wrong before, People don't change people, time does. And I've had an abundance of that."

"M-my lady will have her revenge! You are not safe from her wrath! Arthur Pendragon will fall! And Camelot-" His scream cuts off his revenge monologue, as he turns into a piece of paper.

He came from a book, but was simply a puppet character, there was someone else behind his entrance. He burns the page, making his way towards the cellar entrance. Beyond he finds five men tied to chairs- though the magic infused rope has since lost its magic- they are unconcious, chests heaving with the after effects of the spell. Percival, Gwaine, Arthur, Elyan, Lancelot and Leon.

Arthur, the spitting image of his Kingly self, and the first Merlin has seen since that day, when he'd lowered him into the lake.

Its a new kind of torture, he supposed, the universe telling him what he feared, that Albion truly was gone, and the world would move on, and that Merlin was truly alone.

Arthur wakes with a groan, the softest of blankets covering his sore form. As he shifts he feels the tell tale pull of bandages over his arms, and wonders what happened this time, where was Merli-

Merlin. Who… no he knew. He'd been on the ball field practicing, when he'd gotten dizzy… he awoke tied to a chair alongside five other men- no his Knights- but they weren't were they… they weren't in camelot they were in Britain, but he was in the forest, no the field-

"Bullocks, my head feels like it was done in by a mace- where am I?"

Arthurs head turns to the side, Gwaine- was that his name now? Did he know?- was sitting up in his own bed, and past him were the other four-

"We… were in the cellar last right?" Elyon asks, voice hoarse- and gosh all of them were, they'd screamed when-

"With Smeagle crazy man yeah." Lancelot agrees, looking at them all with wide eyes, "Don't think I knew you guys then… not until… What had that guy said?"

"Emrys." Leon says.

"Magic…" Gwaine whispers.

Everyone turns to him with wide eyes, cementing the fact they were all on the same page.

"So, if we're all here…" Percival starts, eyeing wherever here was.

"Then where's Merlin??"

The small clinic was funded by a founding family of the small town they'd found themselves in. The Emrys family.

"They said he lived here." Leon says, looking at the obviously old but well taken care of house.

"Hey, look here." Lancelot- Lance- runs his hands along one of the posts on the entrance to the porch. As they gather, they find- carefully etched and preserved- the seals of their houses and of Camelot.

"So either scarily coincidental or we're in the right place." Gwaine gives a lopsided grin, only slightly tinged with uncertainty.

"Great, Percy you knock." Leon pats the larger man's arm who gives him a look of betrayal.

"I'll knock you ninnies." Arthur walks up the steps, brave face in place, and taps the door a few times.

"I thought you said knock, your majesty." Elyon goads, Lance snickers beside him.

Arthur glares, raising his arm again only for the door to open before he can. The man before them is older than they are, yet somehow holds himself on a delicate line of seeming both older and younger. Eyes that have seen far more than any should, and yet they glimmer with something as he eyes them. He may be older looking, but Arthur can't mistake the feeling of knowing, and the pain that comes with seeing how tired, how much weight seems to lay on his shoulders.

He's tense, eyes red rimmed with darkness smudged underneath, but he offers a small smile.

"Good to see you gentlemen awake, you'd been through quite the ordeal- or so I heard." He says, rubbing a hand over his face.

His red scarf is a pop of color and achingly familiar paired with bright blue eyes.

"Yeah, we were saved by someone, named Emrys." Elyon responds, the knights coming closer, familiarity clear in their eyes.

The man falters, his shoulders pulled downward by an invisible force,

"Well-"

"We know its you Merlin ya clotpole." Arthur can't stand it another second, the last time he saw Merlin he was well… dying.

Merlin's eyes widen, staring at the group like he's waiting for the joke.

"It's alright Merlin, I think we all know at this point." Lancelot's smile, reassuring and comforting, does not have Merlin's tension easing, but he does lose the wide eyes.

He shimmers before them for a moment, a golden glow from his eyes to his feet, before the Merlin they all know stands awkwardly in the doorway. There's a bit of fear in his posture, but a resigned look to his eyes now obviously red from tears he'd shed recently. Arthur thinks Lancelot and Gwaine look ready to fight anyone, but while there may be a bit of surprise, there is no true anger or fear from anyone, even Arthur himself is lacking it.

He thinks he surprises everyone when he pulls the beanpole into a hug.

"It's been a long time, my friend." He murmurs, as his shirt becomes wet and wrinkled from a teary face and tight grip.

The others gather round to encircle the magic user, their friend, a blanket of warmth they hadn't realized they needed falling over them. Like they were finally home.

(Myrddin Emrys is the name hes using atm, but I never got it in there :/)

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

-

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

-

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

-

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

-

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

-

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

-

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

-

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

-

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

-

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

-

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

-

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

-

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

-

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

[fizzyxcustard]

Covert Eyes (3)

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland) eventually

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. In the previous chapter, Lucas has followed Amy to her date, which went badly. He is there when she bails on the date, and he walks her home. Is Amy slowly beginning to show more of herself to Lucas? And are there small inconsistencies which are now being noticed?

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in. The above image was located on Pinterest, with no link back to the original source.

I am so sorry. I can’t make our normal breakfast meet up. Forgive me.

To say that Amy was disappointed was an understatement, but she understood that Lucas had a life. And at that present time she was probably one of the most inferior things in it. However, what happened next made her wonder very much where she stood with this man.

Her intercom buzzed. “Delivery for Miss Holland.”

“Erm….okay,” Amy stuttered, pressing the door release for the deliveryman to get in her building. “Flat 3, mate.” Yeah, he was probably already aware of that, you idiot.

Amy was greeted by a young man, barely out of school. He held up a coffee cup and bag, with the unmistakable name and logo of the coffee shop that she and Lucas normally met in. “It’s all been paid for by a Mr. North. Enjoy.”

“Yeah, thank you,” she said, stepping back, slightly dazed.

Inside the bag was a morning bagel and blueberry muffin. The coffee was a simple Americano, with milk. He remembered. Amy couldn’t help but smile as she grabbed her phone.

Why did you do this? Thank you so much.

Within two minutes, just as she took a bite of her bagel, a response came.

Enjoy, love. I’ve missed our normal meeting this morning. Work is crazy.

Across the city and Lucas was sat at his desk, missing Amy. Again, an honest admission. No lie. He was missing drinking that coffee which would wake him up, while watching her as she doodled in her notebook.

“You look awful. You need some sleep,” Jo commented as she sat down opposite Lucas at her own desk. “I’ll finish the log up for you. You go home and get some rest.”

Lucas smirked. “Just the comment that I like to hear, ‘you look awful’. Thanks, Jo. I don’t sleep much anyway, so being here keeps me busy.” Not only that, but while Amy was at work herself, what else could he be doing? He seemed to be progressing a little better with her.

At around two in the afternoon, Lucas felt his phone vibrate. Amy’s name was on his screen.

“There’s only one reason for that look,” Jo laughed.

Lucas looked up to see Jo eyeing him over the top of her computer monitor. Her eyes were twinkling with mischief. “Before you ask, no, it’s not someone that you know. Not as far as I know anyway. She’s only a friend.”

“And she makes you smile like that? Come on, Lucas,” Jo grinned. She leaned her elbows on the desk and looked at her colleague. “She’s the woman from the photo you were looking at, isn’t she?”

“No comment,” Lucas teased, getting up with his coffee mug and phone in hand. He head for the staffroom to get another drink and respond to Amy.

Work is dragging. My last appointment didn’t show. How is work for you?

Lucas’ thumbs tapped his phone screen quickly:

Almost over. Managed to finish all my reports. Any plans after work?

Amy replied almost immediately:

Night in with Netflix, I think. You?

Lucas: Same, I think. Unless I get called in again. My DSI is breathing down my neck for another report to be typed up at some point.

Then Lucas grinned at his phone like a Cheshire Cat. Amy’s dam was breaking, slowly but surely.

You can always come to mine if you want to. I’ll make sure to stock up on Dairy Milk.

Of course Lucas agreed to Amy’s proposal.

Later on in the day, Lucas found that he had ventured back onto Amy’s Facebook profile. The temptation had been too much, and between writing reports and applications, he scrolled her information on his phone. It seemed as if her posts in general had become less of late, only being the odd meme or joke. There was very little that gave away her inner feelings. Most women that Lucas had known in his life, in various capacities, tended to be more open, and made their intentions clear. Why did Amy have to be so difficult? Maybe it was because she was so closed down that he remained as interested as he was. She appealed to his analytical side, when research was needed. In Lucas’ experience, he knew when a woman was interested and when she wasn’t. With Amy, he could sense she was attracted to him, but her more conscious behaviours contradicted it all. Her subconscious side, in which her body would betray her conscious behaviour, seemed to be quite well trained, but not quite enough. The little blushes and averted eye contact. It made sense for someone who liked the person they were sitting with. But her unwillingness to open up about herself and her lack of ‘obvious’ interest was what stumped Lucas.

Towards the end of the afternoon and Lucas smiled at Amy’s newest status on Facebook; her first update in four days. Only he would understand the reference, yet she didn’t even know that he was aware of her profile and watching it.

Waiting to relieve my Dairy Milk craving.

Next to the status were the words ‘feeling hopeful’.

Hopeful for what? Lucas smirked to himself and grabbed his jacket, twirling it around to put on.

Amy showered and got dressed into a pair of jeans with a long sleeved, black top. Her short, mousy brown hair was still slightly damp as her intercom buzzed and Lucas’ voice came over it. With a spring in her step and giggle, she dashed to the intercom and pressed the button, allowing him into the building.

Lucas greeted her with a smile and two large blocks of Dairy Milk. “You can never have too much chocolate,” he chuckled. Amy let her latest guest inside and couldn’t help but glance at his backside, nicely hidden away in a pair of Levi jeans. She looked up at his shoulders, still covered in his black coat. The broadness of them made her mentally melt. Then he turned and flashed that gorgeous smile at her again. There was only so many times that she could handle that smile.

“Go and make yourself comfortable,” she said nervously. “I just need to pop into the kitchen for something.”

Amy slipped out of the living room and into a short hallway which led into the kitchen. There, she placed her hands on the side board and mentally tried to pull her thoughts together. She inhaled deep and then exhaled. “You can do this, Aim.” This whole situation was overwhelming; such a lack of confidence gave her a distinct disadvantage in this situation, and she knew that. Men like confidence, is what people normally say. If that was the truth, Amy knew she was fucked. Being in the presence of men was where Amy faltered, where she felt the most vulnerable and couldn’t help but sit and list her shortcomings.

Lucas remained in the living room, sat at one end of the long, cream sofa. He eased back into the comfort and opened his legs slightly, and placed his arm along the back of the seat. The room was quite small, but lived in. Along the mantelpiece, on the left wall, were three matching owl ornaments, with small scented candles positioned between them. The television was mounted above the mantelpiece, connected to a DVD player and PlayStation console. Opposite Lucas was a large wooden case with glass doors and inside were more ornaments, but these were Disney characters. Ariel. Belle and Beast. Snow White and the Dwarfs. Aladdin and Jasmine. Merlin and Arthur. Robin Hood, Prince John and Sir Hiss. Dumbo. A true child who had never fully grown up. To the right was a striped armchair, and above the armchair, on the wall, were stills and small posters of various films, most of them cartoons and old 80’s classics.

“If it gets too warm then I can turn the heating off,” Amy said as she re-appeared.

“No, no. It’s fine. It’s cosy.”

“Do you want anything to drink? Alcohol, non-alcoholic?”

“I’d better be good and have non-alcoholic as it’s a school night and I could easily get called in. I’m not due to be on call until next week, but this week has been pretty hectic and it’s all hands on deck.”

“I’ll go and make some drinks. Do you want to come in and we can carry on chatting in there?”

Lucas rose from the sofa and followed Amy in to a small, compact, but very organised and tidy kitchen.

Amy flicked on the kettle and then preceded to list the drinks that she had in her cupboard and fridge. Lucas opted for, so she guessed, a black coffee. That was what he normally drank every morning when they met at the café.

“So, you were saying?” Amy asked, resting her back against the side board to face Lucas. She was sure he had become more handsome in the last few seconds that she had been looking away. His steel blue eyes were locked on her and she knew she was blushing again like an absolute idiot. Had he stepped closer since she’d turned back around? Or was it her imagination?

“Yeah, work has been a nightmare. So many of us have been called back in on days off or for overnight shifts.”

“Do you get paid overtime?”

“Either that, or we can claim it back as time off in lieu. But half the time, we’re questioned as to why we need to take time off and then even called in again during that time off as well. I’ve considered moving on many times.” Lucas never wavered in his telling of these fictional events. In fact, some of it did ring true, to a degree, for his work with MI5. His job as an intelligence officer was not a typical nine to five office role. And a lot of it did involve paperwork, like signing weapons in and out. Notebooks. Logs.

“That’s just crap. In my job, we have to give at least two weeks’ notice for our leave, and even then, depending on who you team leader is, you’re questioned as to why you need it off.” As they spoke, Amy prepared the drinks and handed a steaming mug of coffee to Lucas. “My week off to go back to Coventry was booked three months ago. And even up until a few days before I actually went, one of the senior managers was asking for people to cancel holiday to try and help out and take on more claimants. Considering that we deal primarily with unemployed people, there are so many targets to hit. I’ve been looking for other jobs in the civil service for about six months now. Nothing has really appealed to me, to be honest.”

As Amy began to move out of the direct kitchen space, towards her dining table and chairs, she noticed that Lucas was still. He was watching her over the rim of his coffee cup, which he then placed down on the table. “Has that guy tried to contact you again after your date?” he asked.

Why was Lucas stopping Amy from moving? Her heart sped up in her chest and her breath hitched a little. She could smell his deodorant.

“No, he hasn’t. I was worried he might try, but I blocked him on everything,” Amy replied.

“From the look of him, Aim, you’re way out of his league. He’d be lucky to…”

Lucas’ phone rang in his back pocket.

“Shit!” he cursed. He pulled the ringing nuisance from his back jeans pocket, seeing Ros’ name flashing. He moved out into the hallway, silently excusing himself so he could take the call.

For a couple of minutes, Amy listened to Lucas’ voice in a frustrated sounding whisper. She bit on her thumb nail as excitement, disappointment and anxiety all racked her at the same time. Was Lucas really telling her that she was attractive? That Jonathan, the date she bailed on, was beneath her? Was Lucas North really showing interest in her as more than a friend?

“I’m so sorry, but I’ve got to go. I really can’t get out of this, no matter how much I want to,” Lucas said, his face full of disappointment and reluctance to go. “Maybe we could arrange for another night to do this? I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

To Amy’s amazement, Lucas reached out and squeezed her arm. “Of course. You do what you need to do. I can wait,” she replied.

“Not too long, I hope.”

As Lucas left that evening, Amy pressed her back to the wall and sighed. Lucas’ words about Jonathan kept playing over and over in her mind, his baritone voice like velvet, on repeat. But one question suddenly sprang into Amy’s mind, appearing out of nowhere. How did he know what Jonathan looked like?

***

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[nev3rfound]

allow me one last goodbye : h.z

giving you a moment alone, bucky allows you to say goodbye to zemo. (900 words)

requested: not exactly - the idea is mine but you guys agreed about having a zemo fic so here we are! warnings: tfatws spoilers

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

Walking ahead, the sense of dread was overpowering. You could feel your heart racing in your chest as you turned the corner, the heights of the memorial coming into view.

"Thought I'd find you here," You speak up whilst his back remains turned, allowing you a moment to try and compose yourself, ignoring the tears already threatening to appear.

"I just wanted to see it, once at least now that I'm free." Glancing over his shoulder, his stoic expression softens, his eyebrows furrow together at the sight of your weak smile whilst your heart pangs in your chest. "Mi Schatz," Holding his hand out toward you, Zemo watches closely as you hesitantly accept.

Pulling you closer into his embrace, you bury your face into the fur lining his coat, wishing you could stay with him like this forever.

"It's wonderful," You quietly mutter, looking up at Zemo's chiselled jawline, missing the nights you'd run your fingers along it and kiss down his neck. How during his days in prison you'd watch on the other side of the glass as he grew a beard, hating it whilst you quite liked it, teasing him about his appearance. Back before you fully knew him, knew Helmut as opposed to Zemo. "how do you feel, being here?"

Zemo hums to himself before tearing his focus away from the memorial, the family etched in stone to you, noticing the tears forming in your eyes. "At peace," He calmly states. "and I'm glad you're here with me." He smiles down at you, lifting his hand up to cup your cheek.

"I'm sorry you couldn't have visited sooner." You admit, knowing how little time is left between you both. "Helmut,"

"It's okay, Y/n." Zemo's hand moves to gently lift your chin up, allowing him to fully see your face in the sunlight, the warmth you provided him and light over the past few years when all he endured was darkness. "Thank you, for the visits, and putting up with me all this time." He jokes lightly, but you shake your head.

"I'd do it again, anything." You whisper, hearing the sound of footsteps creep from around the corner. "I love you, Helmut."

Zemo smiles proudly. "As you should, mi schatz." He chuckles, leaning in closer as his lips brush against yours delicately, too afraid to hurt you. "Do what needs to be done, for me." Zemo breathes into your lips, ignoring the plea in your gaze.

"I, I can't." It hurt to go against him, after all the things you've endured since meeting him when you were assigned to monitor his progress in prison. "It's wrong, Helmut, you know it deep down." Resting your hand on his chest, you can hear his heart beating faster, despite his cool exterior.

Ignoring your statement, he tenses up at the sound of a gun clicking. "I thought you'd be here sooner." Zemo calls out to Bucky who holds his left arm out for you, only to watch you bury your face into Zemo's chest.

"Y/n, come on." Bucky demands.

"One more minute, please, Bucky." You try to reason as Zemo strokes your hair and kisses the top of your head.

"It's going to be fine, Y/n." Zemo assures. "This won't be the end, my dove."

Before you can object, Bucky grabs a hold of you as he tears you from Zemo's arms forcefully. "Bucky! Stop!" You cry out as the Dora Milaje appear, forming around Zemo.

Standing tall, Zemo tries not to falter his gaze which remains set ahead, admiring the scenes he once loved of Sokovia.

"Please," You plead against Bucky as Zemo walks on, trying to keep himself together as he ignores your muffled sobs, his heart cracking at the sound. "let me say goodbye." The words are barely audible as you look up to Bucky weakly whilst you hang in his arms.

Looking over to Ayo, no words are exchanged.

Bucky releases his grip on you, and you're heading straight ahead toward the Dora Milaje. "Helmut!" You yell, running at full force as the Dora Milaje part from around him.

Evidently surprised, Zemo remains still as you wrap your arms around his neck, allowing him a moment to adjust.

Resting his arms around your waist, Zemo can still hear the soft whimpers leaving your lips. "Oh, Y/n," Zemo hushes. "this isn't the end, not for us, not yet." He chuckles dryly. "You'll see me again."

"You promise?" You know it's useless to ask such a thing, but the small smile forming on Zemo's lips says otherwise.

Nodding in response, Zemo captures your lips with his passionately.

Salty tears mix with your lips, the bitterness contrasting the sheer sweetness of his lips against yours until he pulls away.

"Take care, Y/n. Do what you must, my dove." Zemo takes your hand in his as you step backwards, your hand slipping out from his grasp for the last time.

The Dora Milaje form around him once more, and Zemo turns to face the jet before him.

Now knowing you're out of sight, a stray tear falls down Zemo's cheek, unsure if he can truly keep his promise this time to you, his love, his dove.

t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio and at the top of this piece to add yourself☺️(if your user isn’t tagged, it’s because nothing comes up sorry!)

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[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 7

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None? I think? Please let me know if I missed something Notes: This is incredibly dialogue heavy, and I actually don't feel as confident about this chapter as some of the past ones? Hopefully y'all like it, I mean at least the ending is cute (or cheesy, depending on who you ask). PS: Not sure how many chapters there will be in total, other than at least 3 more (one of which ill, in fact, get a little h*rny again. actually, h*rnier). Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy

Chapter 7: Harmony

“We need to talk, yeah?” Daniela asked, nearly stuttering, a sort of nervous that you had never seen her exhibit before. The first thing you think is that she’s really, really cute when she doesn’t know what to do. After that you actually process what she said. Relief floods your chest, followed by warmth, and you make a mental note to thank Bela the next time you see her. In the meantime, you were unable to contain your happiness. Out of instinct you move closer to Daniela, smiling softly, quietly reaching one of your hands towards hers. There’s no hesitance in her response. Instead of taking your hand she pulls you in for a hug, opting to rest her chin against your shoulder. Admittedly you’re a little surprised, but you return the motion nonetheless. “Oh, little songbird…”

Heart racing, you softly press against Daniela, turning your head so that you could place a single, brief kiss against her exposed collarbone. For a moment the two of you just stay like that, holding each other close. When you pull away, remembering that you still hadn’t said anything, you find that Daniela is blushing from the neck up. In turn, the sight makes you blush. You can’t help but reach out and run your fingers through her hair. Though you can’t see yourself, you know your eyes are filled with affection.

“I love when you look at me like this,” Daniela whispered, not entirely meaning to voice her thoughts. Then you’re blushing harder, smile small but sweet. “Mmm, you’re just darling, aren’t you?”

“Not nearly as much as yourself, my Lady. To be in your company is to be the luckiest soul in the world. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of which you inspire in me,” you replied, trying not to stumble over your words, barely able to process any thoughts other than ‘pretty lady likes me ahh’. Thankfully, you still remembered a few tricks from language arts class. Who knew studying the classics could make you more romantic? At least one English teacher, probably. “I’ll have plenty of time to try, though… after we talk about things, that is. Is there somewhere private we can talk? I’m not terribly eager for your mother to overhear.”

“Are you sure we can’t talk about how much you like me for a while longer?” Daniela asked, faking a pout. When you perk a brow at her antics, she shifts a little, forcing herself to be a little more serious (at least for the time being). “If you insist, my sweet thing. I’d suggest my room-” she winks at you- “but I doubt we’d stay talking for long, would we? Maybe the library? Neither of my sisters tend to go there around this time of day, and I can hardly remember the last time mother went there.”

“Well, no one from the day shift is scheduled to organize things until later this week, so… sounds like a date to me,” you chimed, enjoying the way that Daniela’s face lit up in response. “There’s just one thing I have to take care of first. Wouldn’t want my roommates to think something has happened to me, now would we?” With that said you linked your arm with your partner’s, setting off towards the servants quarters.

—————————————–

“Oh thank goodness, we were starting to get worried!” Daphne exclaimed as you quietly ducked into your room. For a second you freeze in place, hoping to whatever higher powers may be that she hadn’t seen Daniela behind you. Certainly the vampire would have moved out of sight?... Despite your assumption, you do see Daphne hesitate for a moment, gazing at the now closed door. Thinking quickly, you give a little wave to draw her attention elsewhere. Seemingly it works like a charm, with her attention returning to you, and so you release an internal sigh of relief. Now you just had to think of an excuse for why you’d be staying up late.

“It’s fine- I’m fine, really. Just had to carry something for one of the Ladies,” you lied, trying not to be specific enough to possibly contradict facts you weren’t aware of. “I, uh, kinda have to go back out, though? There are some piano books I need to find before tomorrow morning. I’ve already found a few, but apparently there’s at least one that goes over some technical practice songs, and I think D-” you almost wince, but lean into it, stuttering instead- “th-think that Lady Daniela would enjoy the variety. Not sure how long it’ll take me to find the books, so don’t stay up waiting for me. I promise I’ll still get enough sleep to function tomorrow.”

“So the lessons haven’t been canceled? That’s good to hear,” Daphne said, nodding slowly. The words catch you off guard, and you tilt your head to the side in confusion. Noticing your expression, your roommate is quick to explain. “After whatever happened yesterday… we weren’t sure if we’d ever hear you play again. Not that we know what happened, just that Lady Daniela was, well, upset, and you stopped playing sooner than usual. But I suppose if the lessons were canceled completely… I doubt Lady Dimitrescu would let you go that easily, huh?”

Again, you shift awkwardly, wondering how Daniela must feel hearing all of this. But just like that Daphne shakes her head, clearing her thoughts, and gives a little shrug.

“Don’t stay up too late, okay? I know you already promised, but we both know you’ll lose track of time if you aren’t careful. If you aren’t in bed by the time the sun reaches its peak, I swear we are gonna have words!” Both of you laugh before Daphne waves you off with a smile. Still, you wait to open the door until she (and the other maidens) has her back to you. Better safe than sorry, right?

—————————————–

Somehow the room felt different in a million ways, now that you were here with Daniela. There was something about the way she moved, freely, eyes and fingers running down the spines of familiar books. Even if you had not seen it before, it felt like the library was overflowing with magic. What I would give, you think, to see the whole world tinted in shades of her. Again you find yourself blushing as you followed Daniela towards a small sitting area. One of the chairs is practically a recliner, with plenty of space, and you realize what she has planned mere moments before she acts.

Next thing you know, you’re being pulled closer to her, practically lifted into the air. Then you’re falling back, right on top of a giggling Daniela. By the time you’ve regained your senses, you’re in her lap, held just tight enough to keep you from getting up. She’s watching your face closely, smirking with pure satisfaction.

“Are we going to be able to talk like this?” You asked, a little unsure yourself, already distracted by the soft curve of her jawline. Even as you speak you’re eying her, imagining what it would feel like to trail kisses along her skin until she was restless… Thankfully she responds before your mind gets too carried away.

“Of course we are, little songbird. Probably. If you behave,” Daniela teased, gently playing with your hair as she did. You can’t help but laugh when she suggests that you are the one who needs to control yourself. “Alright, alright, I get your point. I just… I think that it’s easier for me to, fuck, I don’t know. Relax? It’s easier for me to relax like this, holding you, getting to kiss that lovely neck of yours-” she pauses to demonstrate- “and that means I won’t freak out like last time. Or so goes my thought process, anyway.”

“In that case…” You’re sitting perpendicular to her now, still holding on tight. One hand cups her cheek, gently caressing the skin, before you lean in for a kiss. The two of you enjoy yourselves for a minute, glad to have this time together, more glad to be reassured of each other’s affection. To think that you wouldn’t even be able to meet her gaze if not for Bela’s intervention… Eventually you pull back, knowing that you did need to talk. “I care about you, firefly, and I want things between us to be real, and healthy, but I…”

The words died in your throat, a lump you couldn’t quite swallow, when memories sprung up like weeds in your brain. Communication mattered to you for a thousand reasons, and you weren’t blind to the irony of one of those reasons making you freeze up.

“I haven’t… done this before, not for real,” Daniela replied, mistaking your paues for uncertainty. “Apparently being an immortal, blood-drinking princess is only attractive in the realm of fiction. Maidens only ever seemed interested in a fleeting rush, or a fraction of a chance at an escape. They didn’t care for romance.” Now her tone gets bitter, and her eyebrows furrow. You can see her shoulders tense up, raising a little, making you try to snap out of your own thoughts for a few moments. By the time she speaks again, you��ve started to gently rub her back. “Maybe I should have paid more attention to my novels. How often does the monster actually get a happy ending?” She says the words with a hollow laugh. Still, she’s relaxed a little under your touch, even leaning into it.

“You’ve… done some bad things. Hurt a lot of people, and I can’t pretend that doesn’t scare me,” you started to say, ignoring the heartache you feel when you see Daniela’s hurt expression. “But you’re more than that. You’re soft, cute, and mischievous. More than that… I can tell that you want something beautiful. We can have that, we can make that, for ourselves, with our own hands and our own desires. But we can’t use stories as a blueprint. We can’t rely on what we’ve read, not when everything the two of us do is brand new. Not when-” you close your eyes, fighting back tears, glimpsing fragments of your last relationship- “not when I’ve already been hurt by my own misconceptions. The things we read aren’t always real, or right, or anything like what we need. What we deserve.”

“Something tells me you’re holding back a little,” Daniela murmured, barely able to get the words out. It almost looks like she’s close to crying, but her cheeks are dry, and her voice is steady. “But you’re right. What we have is better than anyone could write, anyway. You’re my little songbird, and I’m not letting you go anytime soon. Even if I have to figure out this whole ‘communication’ thing. I suppose that means I should… come clean. About a few things.” There’s a clear hesitance to her voice, like she’s embarrassed, and she’s speaking slower than usual. A blush rises to her cheeks before she takes a deep breath.

“We don’t have to talk about everything right now, if you aren’t ready. We’ve already made good progress, I think, even if half of it might be because of your sisters. Well, sister, singular. Cassandra throwing me into that wall really didn’t help anyone. Except maybe the chiropractor I will inevitably need to see,” you joked, remembering your earlier conversation with Bela.

“Hold up for a fucking second, Cassandra did what? I’m going to replace all her paint brushes with stained carpet strips, and that’s if she apologizes. Nobody fucks with my baby,” Daniela snapped, expression as serious as can be. Normally you found her anger to be terrifying. Now that she was directing it at someone else? And on your behalf?... Maybe it was a tiny bit cute. Which you tried to show, by gently bringing her in for another kiss. Of course, Daniela isn’t quite as gentle, instead kissing you hard, holding you as closely as she can. There’s a bit of possessiveness in her grip, and it makes you tense up. But as soon as you do she’s pulling back, breathing hard, eyes weighed down with concern.

“Y’know, I think she was just mad that I made you cry. And if I found out someone made you cry, I would be pretty angry. Not that I’d throw someone, partially because I don’t think I could, but still. It’s… almost cute how much your sisters care about you. Almost, just not quite,” you said, eager to draw the attention away from your reaction. Like you had told Daniela, it was okay if you weren’t ready to talk about everything. “Speaking of that, I can’t believe I haven’t apologized yet. I panicked so much, I didn’t even realize I was yelling until you picked me up. No matter how frustrated I was, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t, please,” Daniela interrupted, eyes closing for a moment. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing. I pinned you to the wall, and not for the usual reason!” There’s a bit of panic in her expression, and you get the feeling that she’s beating herself up inside about it. Which, based on what you had thought about what you had done, was understandable.

“Consider this: We both fucked up, and we’ve both acknowledged it now, so we could just… not talk about our regrets? At least for now,” you countered, glad to see Daniela relax and nod in response. Leaning in, you shift to rest your head against her shoulder, wanting to enjoy her proximity more. “Hey… if I’m your songbird, and you’re my firefly… are we, I don’t know… officially a couple now?”

“I was under the impression that we already were,” Daniela said, clearly a little confused. While you technically agreed with her… there was another part of you that wanted to have a little fun.

“You never asked, and I know I never did either, so…” Now you’re looking up at her, smile wide, heart beating faster than normal. “Lady Daniela, firefly of house Dimitrescu, lover of romance novels, player of pianos, keeper of my heart… Will you do me the honor of allowing me to court you? To be yours, officially, in the pursuit of affection and happiness like the village- nay, the world- has never before seen? Will you be my girlfriend?”

“How’s this for an answer, songbird?” Daniela cooed. Then she was lifting your chin from her shoulder, turning her head and bringing you closer. Your lips touch, as gentle as can be. It’s a short kiss, but one radiating with love, that ends with your foreheads pressed against each other. In this moment, you feel like you could stay in her arms for the rest of eternity. “Yes. Absolutely yes, obviously, a thousand times. I could never say no to you, especially not now, with your eyes so desperate for the sight of me, and your lips so begging to be kissed. Now, how about we celebrate, hmm?”

Just as Daphne had predicted, you end up staying awake far too late, but you were all the happier for it.

[jjheejz]

Posted on 27.8.21

27.8.21 Update

An advice that this is for the mentally strong.

1. Zhao Wei’s(ZW) fandom ban + Withdrawal from her company

“According to Qichacha app (a Chinese app that provides information about companies and enterprises eg. management personnel, stocks etc), Beijing Prince Culture Communication Co., Ltd., which is 70% controlled by Zhao Wei, withdrew from the ranks of shareholders of many companies: the company that recently withdrew was Shanghai Tongtongxin Culture Communication Co., Ltd. with the head person in-charge, changed from Zhao Wei to Wei Qiying. It is reported that Beijing Prince Culture Communication Co., Ltd is a performance agency under Zhao Wei and has signed Zhang Zhe Han and other artists.” - News

For those who know about the video (cut version about ZW), do move on to part 2.

Background:

ZW’s case actually started from an insider information (for those who understand Chinese and have not/did not watch the famous 观棋有语127 CUT version, the link underlined: start at 18:50). 

For international audience who had not read the CUT translation/did not know about this: it was a famous insider information released on 16 August 2021 (the day ZH closed his Instagram) on Bilibili (Youtube equivalent. The nature of this channel is not Entertainment Industry insider information but International Politics/Military, it just so happens that one of the member has connection in the Entertainment Industry and ZH’s case was huge that period so he added what he know about it). 

It was hinted that ZW was involved with ZH’s accident (negatively)

= As ZH’s management company, the first plan they advised when ZH’s news was out, was to not release an apology statement (to remain silent and use capital to push down this news), certain fans (might be in the industry) demanded an apology letter from ZH (but being the inexperienced-in-this-ZH who was also in a shocked state at point of time, the Management team wrote the apology letter (yet to release draft). ZW was not very happy with this plan, so revisions were made before the final public apology was released.

The consensus is that someone ‘bad’ is within the Management Team, and it could possibly be ZW. (For those who have watched original version, feel free to add on more, if any - there seem to be a part I missed out. For international readers, feel free to come back again for updates - it will be in purple)

Further insider information about ZH in his case (comment section: A_Kooist*孤*勇 Link here - commenter's translation)

2. Current Entertainment Industry Campaign

Major Campaign: #饭圈清浪 (fan quan qing lang = literally translated as ‘rice circle clearance = ‘fandom clearance')

Please read this major campaign’s purpose here first (for international fans, use Google’s page translation, the translation is good enough. This article was released on 15 June 2021) This, is essentially a good campaign.

Trends in the name of the greater campaign have emerged ever since, such as the recent ‘Do not give second chances to immoral celebrities (aka no comebacks)’ - this also includes ZW (her rising flag dress incident - look for rumors and controversy part, other celebrities as well eg. Fan Bing Bing, Jackie Chan’s son etc), ‘Educate all celebrities on political affairs’, ‘Prohibiting 16 years old and below from appearing in livestreams’ etc. Some movements seem debatable, some like settling the IWA is very much loved, however, this is an issue we international fans can only watch and keep silent and think about the 40%.

Reminder again to be silent because remember that trend topics are bought daily, and a wonder in the trend I saw was ‘GZfansaregainstthismovement’. 

Today, 27.8.21, the official authorities released their top 10 agenda in this movement.

*Note: Since Google Translate translates the movement as ‘Clearance and Rectification of Chaos in the 'rice circle'’ - will use this term in the translation below. Also, in brackets are my notes (left swipe reading)

Source here (in Chinese)

For the first part - removing rankings is reported on The Guardian as well, source here.

For further reading into part 4 - using algorithms to create fake user accounts/false impressions etc, source here

Note that although they did not address the IWA issue (except their behaviour), the implementations by the Government is generally realistic. This targets real fan's problematic behaviours and they are real problems among the China-Chinese fandom.

Implications to ZW's case:

ZW's withdrawal means she/the company is drawing a line that ZW is no longer a part of the company = whatever happens to her, will be none of the company's concern.

It might be due to her japan rising flag dress in the past or one of the (unofficially announced) trend 'do not give second chance to immoral celebrities' in place or her ongoing 'bad deeds' behind the scenes.

Implications to ZH

First of all, for ZH's case, despite being an obvious ploy by the Capitals, the nature of his case is still political ignorance (which as a public figure, is still not a right influence). Therefore, looking at the industry's landscape and campaign, it is hard/almost impossible to see ZH back in front of the camera these few years. It is not the right time nor the right choice to have a comeback.

Secondly, with the change in Management, have to admit that right now, I have no idea how this will turn out. This only warrants more observations before any implications can be made for ZH and the whole scene.

The campaign is also at its fresh stage so it is hard to know to what extent this will push all affected celebrities, even celebrities who are still in the entertainment industry. At the moment, they are now getting sent to 'Public Figure' classes - which highlights what they should do/not do. And management personnel are checking all their celebrity's accounts (to avoid cancellation of that scale again).

Even though there aren't any official news about the underlying cause - Capitals, they are currently probably being investigated. Perhaps because they are organisations and with ZW's case, it seems a longer crackdown is required (Capitals side definitely requires more time), so waiting for this side of the story to come out or any other relevant ones.

For now, same advice, stay silent. For those who are affected, take time off. For those who are mentally strong, we'll see.

Bonus

Maybe some of you knew, but I only know it today. 4 days ago was apparently the 100th day Xiao Yu slipped.

We are still the same.

[august-anon]

Tickle Monster

sequel to Tickletober 2020 Day 13 - “Wake Up!”

---

Someone on ao3 asked about a sequel to that fic literally in October of 2020, and mentioned it again in Jan of this year, and I’m finally posting this. I am so sorry this took ages, whoever you were, I hope you enjoy this lol

---

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Ship(s): Gen!!!!!!

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Ford,Mabel,Dipper,Stan, Ler!Ford,Mabel,Dipper,Stan

Word Count: 1720 words

Summary: Dipper and Mabel complete their mission, distracting Great Uncle Ford, with flying colors. Unfortunately for them (and for Stan), Ford knows how to fight back.

[ao3 link]

ALSO: warnings for some light angst in the beginning because apparently i can’t write Ford as not angsty lol

------------------------------------

Ford sighed as he watched Stanley go, that lost, desperate look still in his eyes. He really didn’t know what to do to help him at this point, and that hurt more than Ford had been prepared for.

It seemed that he just kept failing people.

He started this whole thing. He came to Gravity Falls in the first place. He brought Bill into this world. He was foolish and naive and power-hungry enough to listen to Bill’s lies. He built the portal Bill wanted, not considering the dangers. And he failed to protect his family, Stan especially.

And now his own brother could barely remember him.

Ford forced himself out of his thoughts as he moved toward the refrigerator. He said he’d make breakfast, so that’s what he’d do. Eggs could be easy enough, maybe even omelettes? Or perhaps pancakes, they were probably easy, right? They were just flour and eggs… and maybe they had some sugar in them? He’d figure it out.

He let out a bitter smile as happy, childish laughter rang out from the attic. Stan was a far better great-uncle than he was, even with his lapses in memory. It wasn’t really all that surprising to Ford.

Ford hadn’t really made all that much effort to be good with the kids, after all. Yet another failure of his.

He continued to struggle with breakfast, his bowl of pancake batter looking more like foaming grey sludge than anything edible. It seemed his multitudes of knowledge didn’t extend to cooking. He was debating starting over, maybe trying to actually find a recipe somewhere in this old shack, when he heard tiny footsteps thundering down the stairs.

“Great Uncle Ford!” Twin voices rang out.

Ford turned away from the counter, plastering a smile on his face that was probably more of a grimace. Dipper and Mabel slid into the kitchen on socked feet, giddy and giggling. A far cry from the tear-streaked faces he saw when he checked on them at night, making sure they were still there and alive, and finding them curled together in one of their tiny twin beds, clearly shaken by nightmares.

“Hello, kids,” he said. “You’re rather awake for the early hour.”

Mabel gave him a mischievous grin. “We’ve been tasked with distracting you.”

Ford furrowed his brow. “What--”

The two launched themselves at him and Ford’s eyes went wide in shock. He reached out to catch them so that they wouldn’t slip and hit the floor (tile floor and heads did not mix, Ford remembered that well from tussling with Stanley back in the day), but in doing so he overbalanced himself, toppling backwards and taking the kids down with him.

Before he could even begin to process what had just happened, and just what Mabel had meant by distracting him, he had two tiny bodies on top of him, pressing him into the tile. They had matching devilish grins focused on him, and Ford wondered what the hell Stanley had told them, and whether or not he needed to get up and run.

“Grunkle Stan told us about a monster that you might not have in your journals,” Dipper said, leaning forward.

Ford scrunched his face up in confusion. Was this just a distraction, as they said, or was Dipper telling the truth? Just as he opened his mouth to ask for clarification, Mabel leaned forward as well.

“Yeah, yeah! It’s such a cool monster, too! You know what it is?”

Ford shook his head, playing along. “No, what is this monster?” Perhaps if he placated them, he could get back to making breakfast before Stanley came back down and saw his pitiful progress.

Dipper and Mable exchanged an evil glance and grinned down at him. They raised their hands, fingers shaped in claws and wiggling wildly, and Ford felt a spark of recognition run through him. His eyes widened before they even answered.

“The Tickle Monster!” They shouted in unison.

And then, before he could even blink or think to defend himself, he had four tiny hands wiggling into all sorts of sensitive places. Ford tossed his head back against the tile and snickered quietly, trying to keep the worst of his laughter in. He couldn’t let two children best him!

But Mabel’s fingernails were wreaking havoc on the nerves of his ribs and neck, and Dipper’s fingertips digging into his sides and stomach weren’t serving him much better. He forgot how uncoordinated he got when he was tickled, not having been subjected to it since before Stanley got kicked out when they were younger. His hands were flailing everywhere, unable to latch onto either twin and save himself from their playful torture.

“No no no, you’re doing it all wrong,” a voice called out from the entryway. 

Ford felt a mix of dread, excitement, and anticipation fill his belly when he saw Stanley standing there. It only grew when he saw the spark of recognition in his eyes as he stalked closer.

“You gotta do it like this,” Stanley told the kids, and unceremoniously stuffed his hands into Ford’s armpits, scribbling away.

Ford howled, curling in on himself as best he could with two almost-teens still sitting on top of him and Stan looming over top of them all. He cackled madly and he could feel the tears building up in his eyes the longer the playful torment went on. It was so embarrassing, so humiliating, so…

Fun.

It felt kind of nice to let loose and laugh like he was, something he hadn’t done in a long time. The fingers driving him insane left him with no chance to overthink things as he usually did. All he could do was laugh and squirm and gasp for air.

The tickling abruptly halted and Ford sucked in a much-needed breath. He was naive to think it was over, however, because Stanley only grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head before grinning at the kids. A nervous, playful, fluttering feeling filled his stomach, and he shot a look down at the kids.

“Have at it,” Stanley said.

Dipper and Mabel laughed before darting forward, burying their hands into his armpits. Ford was lost to his hysteria once more, only this time it was worse. His hands were pinned, he could even pretend like he was trying to defend himself from their dancing fingers, and he was too weak from laughter to tug his hands back.

Just when Ford was finally reaching his limit, he tilted his head back and made teary eye-contact with Stanley. Stanley gave him a smirk and a wink before releasing his wrists and setting Ford free.

Ford shot up, still laughing, and tackled Dipper and Mabel to the ground, careful to cushion their fall and avoid any injuries.

“Do you know what’s even worse than a Tickle Monster?” He asked, voice hoarse from the laughter his vocal cords were no longer used to.

Dipper and Mabel were giggling and squirming, clearly having picked up on where this was going, but neither made an attempt to escape. They shook their heads.

Ford raised his hands, fingers curled threateningly into claws, just as they had done to him. “A six-fingered Tickle Monster.”

Dipper and Mable squealed as his hands darted forward, the two soon lost to childish shrieks and cackles as he tickled away. The wide grin still hadn’t left Ford’s lips, even as his cheeks and eyes began to dry from his own mirthful tears. He even let out a few more chuckles at particularly silly sounds the kids made.

Maybe he wasn’t such a failure with them, after all.

But there was still one thing missing from their morning full of laughter. Ford turned around, slowing his ticklish assault on the kids, searching out Stanley. He stood at the counter, a new mixing bowl in front of him, making something that looked a lot closer to pancake batter than Ford’s attempt was.

Oh well, can’t win them all.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook,” Ford growled playfully.

Stanley froze, his body tense, and he slowly turned around to face Ford, a nervous smile spreading across his lips. His hands were raised in surrender, and he looked ready to bolt at any moment.

“You were just so sad this morning,” Stanley tried to reason with him, “I thought the kids could help cheer you up.”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “If I remember correctly, you were rather melancholy earlier, as well.”

They stared each other down, trapped in their little stand-off as Dipper and Mabel giggled quietly behind Ford. Then, Stanley tried to bolt, but Ford was much faster, the two of them crashing to the floor in no time. He quickly got Stanley pinned underneath him.

“Any last words?”

Stanley scowled (though Ford could see the amusement dancing in his eyes, so he wasn’t too worried), but Ford never actually gave him the chance to speak. He dug his fingers in, skittering around with no rhyme or reason as he mentally catalogued Stanely’s tickle spots. Eventually, he settled on Stanley’s ribs, the left side, the second rib from the top (that always used to get him screaming), as well as the little patch of skin on the right side on Stanley’s stomach, just a couple inches under his ribcage (that always used to get him begging for mercy). Stanley yelled and burst out into wild laughter, shoving at Ford’s hands but being too weak to stop him.

“You little--” Stanley started to yell through his laughter, but Ford cut him off.

“Ah ah ah, there are children present, Stanley.”

Stanley only cackled louder. Though that could have also been due to the fact that Ford had upped his tickling.

But speak of the devil and he shall appear, for the kids chose that moment to again make themselves known. Dipper attached himself to Ford’s back, shoving his hands into Ford’s armpits and clumsily tickling away. Mabel, on the other hand, launched herself into Stanley’s chest and started scribbling away at his stomach and sides.

Alright, Ford thought. The kids want a tickle fight? I’ll give them a tickle fight. And he dove back into the fray.

Needless to say, breakfast soon became brunch and the Shack was filled with laughter for a long time to come.

[katelyn--renee]

Composure

Title: Composure

Fandom: Supernatural

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader/(Y/N) Winchester (mentioned), Harper Winchester (OC, mentioned), Daniel Winchester (OC, mentioned), Crowley (mentioned)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Wife!Reader

Words: ±2670

Description: Dean and (Y/N) take their shot at a normal life and settle down. Over the years, they have a few kids. Things are good. Until they’re not. What will Dean do when his past comes back to put an end to his happily ever after?

Written For: @deanwanddamons ​ 2K Celebration! Congratulations babe! That’s awesome! My prompt will be in bold -  “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”

Warnings: ANGST! Descriptions of blood. Mentions of breaking and entering. Kidnaping. Show level violence/outbursts of anger. 

Author’s Note: This is in correlation with another fic of mine, Sweet Cherry Pie. It takes place about twelve to thirteen years after that one, to give you a brief timeline. There will be other fics with that original storyline, so stay tuned.

Thank you so much to @wonder-cole​ for being my beta for this wonderful piece and helping me with the title. You’re awesome and much appreciated! She has some amazing work of her own, so please do yourself a favor and check it out! Check out @talesmaniac89​ for more awesome page dividers!!

Disclaimer: I do not own any photos or gifs, all rights go to original creators/owners.

Interested in more of my work, check out the link below.

Masterlist

The rain was heavy tonight, thick and angry as it poured from the dark clouds above. The fat raindrops were noisy against the single paned windows. The water coated the glass surface and made it impossible to see through, even as the flashes of lightning lit up the night sky and cast long shadows through the living room of 35 Maplewood Road. There was a heaviness surrounding the house, as if something wicked had been there.

The home was dark and empty, and the furniture was overturned and broken in places; the sofa was thrown over backwards, the cushions laying discarded across the floor with the end table toppled over beside it. The lamp that had occupied its surface was shattered to pieces on the wooden floor, and the rug had been stained with something dark and red. 

The coffee table was shoved out of place, the glass surface no longer there in one piece and the mirror that hung in the hallway had a spider web like crack across the surface, hanging now only by one screw. In the very center of the crack, something crimson and shiny caught the lighting from outside, almost as if someone’s skull had been smashed there.

The familiar idling of Baby’s engine grew louder as Dean pulled in the driveway of his home, the brakes squealing as he came to a stop and put the Chevy into park. A feeling of dread began to knot into his stomach, making the muscles of his jaw flex as he tried to bite back the feeling. Something was wrong; all those years of hunting and honing his instincts told him that much. Not a single light was on inside of the home and yet, (Y/N)’s car was parked out front. Not good.

Dean fished his phone from his jacket and swiftly unlocked the screen with a swipe of his thumb across the glass, dialing the number he knew so well. Pressing the receiver to his ear, he waited while the call rang out once... twice… “Come on, (Y/N/N).” He muttered under his breath as the fifth tone sounded. Her voice greeted his ear, but it was artificial; the recording of her voicemail, Hi, you’ve reached (Y/N)... 

“Damn it.” He cursed between gritted teeth and ended the call. He tried again, pressing redial. “Come on, baby, answer your damn phone!” He shut his eyes when he got the same results as before, cursing to himself as he shoved the device back into his pocket.

Never taking his eyes off the front of the house, he leaned over for the glove box and swiftly unlatched the compartment door, just as he’d done a million times before. Green eyes continued to scan for any signs of movement, even through the thick wall of rain that coated the windshield, despite the efforts of the wiper blades. 

Reaching a steady hand inside, he pulled out a pocket sized flashlight and his beloved stainless steel Colt, the engraving on the barrel catching the lightning as it bolted across the sky. Expertly, he removed the clip with a press of his thumb and double checked the bullets inside before sliding it back into the place, securing it with another click. It’d been years since he’d held the weapon, but the pearl coated handle felt just as natural as breathing against his palm.

Leaving the Impala’s engine running, Dean climbed out from behind the wheel and shut the door, the hinges creaking with age. Clicking on the flashlight, he approached the home with long, yet cautious strides, his booted feet silent in his approach, even through the heavy rain. 

His mind was racing with every terrible possibility, his guilt threatening to eat him alive as images of his family, in the worst possible outcome, flashed before his eyes. It made his blood run cold. His heart was pounding rapidly with fear, pushing the adrenaline through his veins and forcing him to move forward rather than let the panic overwhelm him.

He tried to peer inside the living room through the set of windows lining the front of the house, but it did little to ease his uncertainty; if anything, it only made it worse, only able to make out long shadows and dark shapes. His clothes were completely soaked through, hugging his large frame by the time he’d reached the front porch, the coolness of the rain chilling him to the bone. Droplets of water dripped down his face and the tip of his nose, and his hair clung against his forehead.

Approaching the large red door, his scowl only deepened, darkening his features when he discovered that it had been left unlatched, allowing in a single beam of light with each flash from the storm overhead. He glared at the lock and then narrowed his eyes as something caught his attention, the muscles there twitching. Stretching a hand out, he examined the wooden surface, his fingertips grazing over the chipped paint and splintered wood. Someone had broken in.

Taking only a moment to compose himself, Dean exhaled slowly and swallowed back his apprehension, forcing himself to go on. Using the weight of his body, he nudged the door open cautiously and poked his head inside. The experienced hunter kept his gun aimed high and at the ready, his finger hovering over the trigger. Wrist over wrist, Dean held the flashlight steady with the opposite hand, the beam unmoving, providing him with some light through the darkness.

All of those years of training were put to the test as he stepped through the threshold of his home, his expression as hard as stone and giving away absolutely nothing, despite the fear that was boiling just beneath the surface. His eyes darted around the room, following the beam of his flashlight, taking in every detail of his surroundings just as he’d been taught all those years ago.

Following the layout of the house, Dean came to the living room first, stepping over the broken furniture and discarded decorations. The sight of his home in this state made him uneasy and that much harder to keep his cool, able to sense the panic starting to creep in. Where was (Y/N)? Where were the kids? Who had done this to his family? Was it revenge?

Another flash of lightning caused something slick and shiny to catch his eye, and Dean let out a shaky breath. Hesitating for only a moment, he crossed the room and crouched down next to the sofa to investigate, the troubling sight seized his heart. There was a substantial amount of blood there, a large pool of crimson that had soaked into the fibers of the rug. 

Near the top of the stain, a gold chain necklace was lost within the mess and a thin layer of another substance was scattered around it. It was almost yellow in color and had a very distinct, very specific scent that accompanied it. Touching the surface of the floor next to the stain, Dean felt something grainy under his finger tips. Lifting it to his nose, the smell of sulfur invaded his senses. Demons.

“Fuck,” He cursed, the boom of the thunder shaking his house as it lit up his face simultaneously. Still crouched, he plucked the necklace out of the sticky crimson mess and glared at the amulet with a heavy gaze, his hand shaking. He shut his eyes and closed his fingers into a fist, the knuckles turning white around the piece of jewelry. It belonged to (Y/N). It had been a gift, a charm to ward off evil and prevent possession.

This was all his fault. He should have known better. Hell, he did know better and yet, he ignored it, because he had a chance to finally be happy. To have an actual family and live the normal, apple pie life he’d always wanted. And now the ones he loved were missing and more than likely dead. Or probably close to it.

His chin quivered for a moment and hot tears stung at the corners of his eyes, his emotions getting the better of him. How could he let this happen? How could he be so stupid and reckless? He knew better, damn it! Once a hunter, always a hunter. There is no getting out of the life, not entirely, because those evil sons-of-bitches will always be out there. 

One way or another, they always find a way to catch back up to any hunter who has tried, and every single time it ends bloody and messy and violent. He needed to find them, he just had to. And he would save them, no matter what it cost. He’d pay it.

Releasing a heavy breath, he opened his eyes and willed the tears away, shoving the emotions back down into the pit of his soul. Despite his efforts, a solitary tear made it’s escape, dripping down his left cheek and onto the color of his shirt before he could stop it.

Dean rose to his full height and squared his shoulders, prepared to continue his search. Sliding the necklace into his jacket pocket with care, he followed the trail into the hall with a heavy heart. 

Glass cracked and snapped under his boots as he walked through the space, his jaw flexing when he saw the picture of his family shattered on the floor. Their happy faces only added to his grieving heart and guilty conscious, their smiles making his soul ache.

That had been a good day, nearly five years ago now; (Y/N) had worn his favorite blue dress that day, the strapless one that stopped right above her knees and showed off her sexy legs. 

She had on that silly - but achingly cute - oversized tan hat that kept the sun from her eyes. He would always tease her about that goofy hat, but she never cared what others thought of her, never ceasing to be herself, no matter what.

They’d gone to the park that day, had an actual picnic and he’d played catch with his son while the girls giggled and painted their nails...  They even taught the twins how to ride their bikes that day. They couldn’t have been more than seven years old.

Harper had caught on much quicker than her brother, of course, taking after her mother in that way. Those girls were naturals at almost everything they did, only needing to try something a few times before perfecting it. That had been something he’d adored and admired about his wife and it was a huge part of what made her such a skilled hunter when they met.

Daniel, on the other hand, had to take the time to understand how something worked first. He needed to study the mechanics of things, take them apart, rebuild and understand it completely, inside and out, before he was able to master it. Danny often reminded Dean of the Winchester side of the family. That had been a good day, one of many they’d shared together.

Brought out of his memories by another angry boom from outside, Dean pressed on. Where the picture had once hung, there was a bloody handprint smeared on the white wall, the two colors contrasting greatly. 

The blood streaked out toward the kitchen, giving the hunter a clear path to follow. Damn it. Dean grit his teeth. It felt as if something had his heart in a vice, squeezing it tighter and making it increasingly difficult to breathe the further he went.

His emotions were threatening to break through the surface again, fighting hard against his resolve, but he held his ground against them, purely focused on finding his loved ones. Now was not the time to break down. Following the trail of blood and debris, he checked each room along the way, trying to be as thorough as possible. He couldn’t afford to miss a damn thing. 

Their bedrooms were empty, and unsurprisingly, every inch had been torn apart. Dean’s chest heaved with emotion, his breath hitching in his throat; if anything happened to those kids, he would never be able to forgive himself.

Continuing on, the hunter emerged into the next room, and found much of the same; broken furniture, shattered pictures and even more blood. But not a single sign of his family. The sliding glass door had been left open, allowing the rain from the storm to collect onto the tile floor. 

Dean shut his eyes and took several deep breaths, his chest aching with every forceful beat of his heart. He needed to call Sammy, needed to form a plan. When he opened his eyes, something on the countertop caught his eye; a sheet of paper. Cocking his head with curiosity, he crossed the room in three long, determined strides.

It was a note, addressed to him.

It’s been too long, darling. How’s Moose? Hope the wife and kids are well...oh, wait, that’s right, you’re as clueless as ever. No surprise there. Before we get to the fun bits, let’s talk business; I need a favor and you and your giant of a brother are going to help me. Now, to ensure that things go as planned, I have something of yours. I assure you, they are safe. For now. Do as I ask, and they will be returned to you, alive. So, Dean, dear, let’s make a deal, shall we? You know where to meet me.

Squirrel,

Yours truly, 

The King of Hell

“Crowley.” Dean growled deep in his chest, his teeth clenched as his blood began to boil over with rage. “Goddamn it!” He shouted, swiping the contents of the counter onto the floor. “Fuck!” He kicked something across the room, too angry to pay much attention to it as it slammed into the stainless steel refrigerator. He swung at the closest surface, his fist connecting with a nearby wall.

The drywall collapsed around his fist as the plaster fell to the floor at his feet. His knuckles were screaming at him, but he didn’t care, too fueled by his rage to notice. What could Crowley possibly need their help with? It didn’t matter. Whatever it was, they would get it done and save his family. Crowley would get what’s coming to him; Dean would make damn sure of that.

Taking a few calming breaths, Dean removed his phone with a bloodied hand and opened his contacts, scrolling through the names until he found what he was searching for. Sammy. Dialing the number, Dean held the phone to his ear with baited breath. After the third ring, Sam’s voice came in through the other end, sounding concerned because of the late hour, “Dean? Everything alright?”

Dean shook his head, his vision blurring with tears. He cleared his throat, trying to prevent it from shaking too much. “No, Sammy. It ain’t alright.” He admitted, gripping the counter with his free hand, bracing himself. He wanted to crumble onto the floor, his body trembling; his mind flooded with so many different emotions, each of them trying to overpower the other: fear, guilt, anger, heartache…

“Dean, what is it?” The younger Winchester questioned, the worry evident in his voice. “Is it (Y/N)? The kids? Is everyone okay?” He waited patiently on the other end, but Dean could hear him moving around; he assumed his brother was getting his things ready to head out.

“Damn it, Sammy,” Dean’s voice broke as a few tears slipped through the cracks, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” He shook his head, allowing himself a moment to break, his chest heaving. “We were out!” He slammed his fist down onto the counter, terrified and angry.

“Dean, what’s going on?” Sam pleaded, wanting desperately to help his big brother. 

“Crowley.” Dean clarified, going into more detail as he composed himself and straightened his stance, “Crowley’s taken them.” He took a calming breath, his moment of weakness over. “I need your help, Sammy.”

“Already on my way.”

Annnnnnd there you have it. I hope that wasn’t too rough on the heart? No worries, there may or may not be a part two in the works? We shall see. ;) 

Anyway, if you enjoyed that, please like and comment and if you’re feeling a little extra generous, share it with your friends, too! You’re feedback is like GOLD! As always, thanks for reading! 

Taglist!

Supernatural

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