#whatever anyway here ya go

[centeris2]

Real talk why is Sabine's Moorland race only 150 xp. All the other races for the event are 400 or 500 xp, but the most difficult race by far is a fraction of that?

Do people bother doing Sabine's race for the horse XP or do people just skip it because it's not worth the XP for how unforgiving it is?

[omniscient3teabag]

billy batson au/scenario where billy gets caught up in an incident as billy himself and his only way to not literally BLEED OUT and DIE is to transform back as captain marvel (And chooses to stay as him. how will he survive if he detransforms back anyways? he can't risk it yet,)

So. times go by, captain marvel hasn't detransformed in maybe a month or two and it's sorta? starting to affect billys own body for some reason. But not enough for the kid to die,, And then , in one of the missions that most of the main justice league members have to join in, a magical rune/spell/whatever is casted onto them to show the day all of them will individually die (with diana and superman probably having the most amount of time out of everyone, and with batman surprisingly having 31:19:03 years, hours and minutes to his name left(yeah, even batman himself was rather surprised at that)) for the thrill of it.

but, it isn't fate, they could still survive if they change any little thing. if they get help or not. it's not set in stone!!

and so to show that one of the timers could go off at any moment. Like. some of the timers just cut to zero even if there were a few more years to its name and they'll immediately kick the bucket. or like their heads explode. and their lives r on a gamble to hope that their own timers won't get chosen to be the next to be resetted. so all of their timers start ticking, as they fight their way through the battle they're fighting in

even after they win, the timers don't go away , so they're up in the watchtower, the annoying tick of each minute getting louder and louder in their ears, and having a meeting until they realize

captains timer is only ones that isn't ticking? so they look over to cm's timer and see,

00:00:04. Four minutes left. what? why is he literally almost on deaths door? metaphorically. I mean

but thats not all, it's not even going down. minute after minute, it's like it's stuck in stasis which is .. weird???? and like captain is sorta sweating bullets because like oooooh crumbs. Oh gods

also. accompanying art hshsssfjgdf

(he thought if he stayed still no one would notice his odd ass death timer)

[malartsorte]

Well I guess i went mad and made more of these. The first post where I talk of my headcanon for Clikito's mask is this one!

[hplonesomeart]

Here you go fellow gays enjoy some tranquil scenery with the favorite fruity robot ever. Spend a late night chatting with him on a balcony as the laughter rings out in the air. Can’t quite get any better then this

[snakes-on-skates]

is this anything

(clarification for the "freedom" thing: they arent helping free others out of the goodness of their hearts, either doing so by proxy when completing their goal or using them to help complete said goal. they are still going about it in a selfish way and i dont mean to imply they actually care about the people and/or creatures being freed.)

[osaemu]

so uh funny story guys. i lost interest in anime men

[doctorho]

Hello hi hope you’re doing well hehehe IFFFFFF you ever did wanna write for Jayce I nad an idea.....l've seen posts about people wanting more fics of a more buff fem reader LIKE HELL YEAH (Cuz | workout) and l just love the idea of Jayce being into a buff girl (or guy) (or gn because I know you write a lot of gn stuff!!) cuz we know this man is such a sub sometimes and I know he'd get so so flustered if he saw you working out. He'd definitely wanna feel you flex in his hand and maybe workout with you but he might combust if you ever asked him to join you. Even if you're shorter than him he'd feel so shy around you and he'd just be so CUTSEY and blah I just want a large muscular man to fall at my feet is that too much to ask for?

sorry it took me Literally Forever to get to this, but... yeah.

look, jayce got his muscles mostly from working at the forges (and... genetics, i guess), and logically, he knew that people who were muscular typically did something to get or at least maintain those muscles, and subsequently were able to do some work that required muscles, he knew that. he just hadn't, you know. considered it. before. in his head. he hadn't thought about it.

so he was not prepared to see you hauling some goddamn ten-feet-long steel beams around the lab like it was nothing. he has to wait for the cogs in his brain to do a full circle as he registers this, takes in the sight of your disgarded jacket and the fucking muscles rippling under your skin as you lifted another one of those beams up on one shoulder, already turning to apparently carry them on to the storage.

the beams are visibly heavy, heavy enough to slowly bend at the ends just a little under their own gravity, and then slowly waver with your movement as you straighten your stance. and you do it with the damn ease of lifting the coffee pot, just, you know, casually hauling these goddamn steel beams around for him, no big deal, just some light work around the lab.

those beams probably weighed like a good percentage of how much he did. and you're just! picking one up! and throwing it around! god, you don't even look like it's hard.

and he's just standing there, gathering the remains of his brains from the gutter.

"Viktor said these need to be moved," you tell him as a way of explanation over your shoulder.

"What?" he asks, with all of one brain cell sparking to life.

you smile at him over the beam, and oh, that should be illegal. "These were delivered today, Viktor said they should be in there," you explain, nodding towards the open door.

Jayce opens his mouth. and then closes it.

"Ah." he says. "Yes."

the pinnacle of thought, he thinks with an internal sigh, ladies and gentlemen, jayce talis, genius of the people. whose brain turns to mush at the sight of-

power.

well, can you blame him?

gods, it's not as if it's a leap to go from 'this person is attractive and demonstrates enough skill and strength and muscle control -because that was the difficult part, wasn't it, control- that they could probably throw you around like a sack of potatoes' to 'i think i would enjoy that' because-

he can hear you place down the steel beam with a clang that sounds like it wasn't the first of many.

and then you re-emerge from the storage room dusting off your hands against each other, cleaning them of what he could imagine to be metallic dust and leftover packaging fibres from the beams.

something in jayce, unfairly, purrs at the sight. curls into itself at the pit of his stomach. paws at him from there, tugging at the base of his spine.

he decides to ignore this as best as he can, and instead, takes a breath. "let me help you," he says, then shakes his head a little, "this isn't even your job in the first place."

you just shrug with a grin, and help him pick up one of the beams as he hauls it up on his shoulder. it was heavy, and, annoyingly, his brain decides to use this to cement his earlier hypothesis about your strength.

he hadn't thought you weak before, not by any means, he just... hadn't seen you in action, so to speak.

he takes a deep breath. steels his core, lifts with his legs.

"I just wanted to help," you answer, "besides, i could use the workout."

Jayce exhales a laugh, before composing himself again. "alright," he shrugs off the beam and places it on the pile of others, and you soon follow.

as you place down your own beam, he helps. it's easier to balance it with two pairs of hands, and the sound of it hitting the pile is softer this time.

he can see some oil stains on your shirt where the beams had rested against your shoulder, and a part of him winces at it. that'd be difficult to get out. the oil their metal parts usually came coated in was.

you're just straightening your shirt and smiling at him. like you're at home in their stupid storage room, helping him with this like it's a given. he didn't even ask.

"still," he says, taking a deep breath and trying to gather his brain into something in semblance of reasonable, "thank you." he exhales, and means it. "let me make it up to you," he continues, and he means that, too.

"do you want to like," he says, his words suddenly feeling sticky and stupid and too big for his mouth, "get coffee or something?" he exhales, then, "my treat," he adds, before he can even inhale.

you grin at him, and dust off your hands again, and oh, his spine is liquefying. cool. nice. great. he wanted to be a puddle anyway.

[enterstellars]

guys i cannot wait to move

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....

[oreolesbian]

the people actively voting against phan on the rpf poll bc the only thing they know about dnp is that “shipping them is problematic” but dan and phil have both publicly acknowledged they know about the poll and actively find it funny 🙃

[seventh-district]

not even gonna try to contain this vent post within the tags bc i can just feel that i'm gonna yap

for the first time in a very long time, i'm watching an old video of me, age 13, playing with my dog on the kitchen floor. and i can barely handle the envious sight of how absolutely free i was. like, i know i've rewatched this video at a few other points in time in the nearly 12 years since i recorded it, but i've never really watched the full thing, paying as much attention as possible to every single detail.

i initially dug it up the other night because it's one of the only videos i have of Sassy on my current phone, and i wanted to.. see her again. but while i was analyzing every frame of the 3min video trying to drag as much of her memory out of the past as i possibly could, it dawned on me in a way it never has before just how unbelievably free i was behaving.

i was on the floor. touching it, sitting on it, putting my hands down on it and then (to my current self's horror and disgust) putting them on my cheeks, touching my face. i sat my drink down on the floor next to me. i picked Sassy up over and over again and then touched my face and drink and then i picked her up again and actually put my mouth on the top of her head to give her a little kiss. i did all of it without a second thought. it obviously came so naturally to me. i was moving around, interacting with the world around me in such an unbelievably normal way that i barely even recognize myself. and i was doing everything so quickly, too. i had energy. i moved (what seems to me now as) recklessly (though to a normal person it is probably just. normally.) and i just touched anything and did anything and. there weren't any consequences. it was fine.

that was roughly 1.5 years before Sassy dropped dead with zero warning and zero explanation and i developed severe OCD.

my memory is too far gone for me to figure out if the two events were cause-and-effect, or simply happened to take place around the same time in my life. it's not like i kept any sort of detailed log of my developing symptoms so i don't know if i'll ever be sure.

regardless, all i can focus on is how nowadays i wouldn't be able to do any of that. nothing aside from my shoes can come into contact with the floor. and i cannot come into direct skin contact with my shoes. if i find myself in a situation where i have to sit on the floor, as soon as i can get up, i have to remove all clothes that touched it and put them in the dirty laundry, and wash my hands, and if i had to touch my phone after touching the floor, i have to disinfect it. i will under no circumstances touch my face after contacting the floor until my hands are washed. i cannot touch or pet or hold either of my pets without washing my hands and preferably removing whatever clothing they came into contact with.

they are not allowed in my room nor my bed. Sassy slept in my bed with me every night. i never put my mouth on their fur to give them a kiss. i gave Sassy head kisses without a thought. they are not allowed to lick me. i used to find another one of my past dog's 'kisses' on my hands to be very endearing and unproblematic. now if it happens i have to wash it off immediately. anything that gets touched between my hands contacting either pet and being washed, i have to disinfect it.

i mean it with my entire fucking heart and soul when i say that OCD is an insidious disorder. having lived with it for a decade now, i couldn't be more aware of this. but, therein lies the exact point i'm trying to make. in spite of knowing that it has wormed it's way into every single aspect of my life, brain, and personality, it's entire nature is defined by the fact that it will do so, and it'll do it in such a way that the disordered mindset becomes your new normal. it had managed to completely overwrite a lot of my pre-disorder memories of how i used to... operate in the world around me. it has entirely altered the way i do every. single. thing. to the point where i just can't even fathom how it used to be any different. if i didn't have videos like this one to serve as proof that things did used to be different, i wouldn't have any basis for what my "normal" ever even was. it robbed me of those memories entirely.

let's fish one example out of the thousands of different ones i've got siting around: i've spent years trying to figure out how i used to take a shower that didn't take me an entire hour. i have no video of something like that obviously, so it just feels like.. like when i try to envision how i used to bathe myself it literally just goes black in my brain. there's no memory or mental images left in there. i can't fathom it. i mush have just been walking around halfway clean. i don't know. i don't understand how anyone can take a "quick" shower and get out feeling clean. my brain just absolutely cannot grasp it because the OCD is all that's left. it snuck in and completely rewrote the code of who i am and how my brain functions and how i perceive the world and i am never going to get my old self back. no amount of medication or therapy can truly, fully undo the damage it's done to my mind and body.

i mean. i have learned to live with it, barely. i wouldn't really call what i do 'living' but i am. surviving. and some of my obsessions and compulsions have the tendency to fade in and out over time, so i've been able to CBT myself out of some of the most disabling ones. showers take 1 hour now instead of 1.5 to 2.

i can read normally again now, after that period of time around uhh 2018 i think where i could barely read since i had to count the letters of every single word i saw. that was a pretty miserable time and i eventually forced myself mostly out of it. but i still slip back into it when i'm exceptionally stressed, which makes written communication difficult. but it's not like you can just explain that to people and expect them to believe you. but the uh. idk what to call it. OCD cranked the pattern-seeking part of my brain up so far that the metaphorical knob broke off and so the uh. like. the ability for me to notice which words have what amount of letters is always there, i'm just good at overriding it now. that's what 'learning to live with OCD' is like for me. the tracks that it carves into my brain never go away, i just get better at overriding them. but certain stupid little rules never really leave you, like if i'm lengthening a word like turning 'no' into 'noooooo' or 'holy' into 'hooooly' then the new lengthened form of the word has to have a 'good' number of letters like 3 or 7 or whatever my brain deems fit.

i can sit small objects down now without compulsively checking that the surface i'm about to sit them on is clean. ...most of the time. that got really annoying but also embarrassing to be seen doing it. having to re-wipe the counter down every time i'd pick up my water bottle and put it back down. trying to do Anything in the kitchen was an absolute nightmare. and yeah it still takes me a long time to cook anything, and there's countless other compulsions that make me dread the kitchen, and yeah i still can't sit large objects down without thoroughly inspecting the surface below them, and. sigh. there's no making this one sound like it's much improved at all. cause it hasn't

at least the compulsion to re-live and commit to memory every possible detail of my dreams immediately upon waking has left me. that's one rare example of a compulsion that has totally left instead of just adapting to be less intrusive. it was so miserable laying there for ages every morning trying to force any shred of memory out of my dreams and then panicking when i oftentimes couldn't remember anything.

anyways. i could and would have to write a literal book to fit in even half of all the examples of every single compulsion i've ever had in the last 10 years. most of them are still with me. some of them are very.. evolved, but most of them are still with me in one form or another. there isn't a single aspect of the way that i interact with the world around me that isn't heavily influenced by my OCD.

i don't expect to ever get to be that 13y/o kid again. and even back then, i was far from neurotypical. mental things were already starting to spiral for me around 11 or so. but none of my other (numerous) illnesses hold a candle to the disabling effect that OCD had and has on me. it's one of the WHO's top 10 most debilitating illnesses in the world, physical health issues included. i think i heard it ranked at #7, ironically enough. that stat might not still be accurate but i can't help but constantly want to quote it because i think one of the most tortuous aspects of OCD is the inability of those who don't have it to truly grasp how much you're struggling. how bad it is. it's taken so unseriously by the majority of those who don't have it, that trying to get across to someone how much you're struggling feels like this constant uphill battle that you never asked to fight.

one of the most difficult things for me to live with is the knowledge that most people just aren't going to understand. or believe me. and feeling unseen while suffering through immense pain is just. it's maddening. and dealing with that exact issue of struggling so much, both in physical sorts of pain and with mental illnesses, and having everyone around me never take it seriously enough.. it has been such a prevalent part of my life for so long that it just. it's slowly driving me fucking insane lol. not to be dramatic. i know i've got a relatively easy life. but there is always gonna be this invisible, bleeding wound on my soul that gets torn open a little wider every time i have to look someone in the eye and try, exhaustedly, to explain the absolute dumpster fire shitshow that i have to live with in my brain 24/7, only to get some fuckass excuse of a response like 'haha yeah i know what you mean! i'm a little OCD too!' and they just like. like seeing things organized neatly and sometimes experience a passing worry that they left the stove on.

and i just wanna say that 'we are playing life on two very different difficulty levels and i don't think i'll ever be able to get that across to you' but no i have to be nice and downplay it and get along bc it's just not worth it. i'm so fucking tired. OCD is exhausting enough to live with, let alone trying to educate other people on it.

maybe one day ill post that stupid excuse of a poem i wrote regarding my frustration with that exact experience.

but like i said, i don't ever expect this to go away. medication only treats the symptoms and i can only force myself to suffer through so much CBT. this will be with me forever, in a significant capacity. i just hope that before i die, i'll get to know what it's like to have someone look me in the eye and understand. not necessarily from personal experience, but to at least know me well enough to be able to understand how serious i am when i say that OCD ruined my life.

but it might turn out that the only place i'll be able to find that level of understanding and acceptance, is when i look in the mirror.

that might just have to be enough.

[cathymee]

ok. i guess

[youreaclownnow]

after months of cooking and scheming and music listening, ive finally crafted a domasia playlist of adequate length. ill probably go and sort through this and make more specific ones (certain eps, aus/hcs, etc) as i choose more songs, but for now, this is kino.

[astrxealis]

hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

[gregmarriage]

can’t decide what to do tonight, barely feel like watching a show or a movie, or playing a game or anything

[floral-hex]

hi. I’m still alive (mostly).

still moving stuff from one apartment to the next. It sucks. Everything is a mess. I hate stairs and, for some reason, boxes of books are very heavy.

now I get why they call these the dog days of summer, because this shit is ruff 😰