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#whatever reason. i'm sorry for always going on and on abt it when i half of you still adore him and want me dead everytime i talk abt this
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that's another thing though, isn't it? because i can go on and on about how he's dating someone who's been a fan of him for years and how fucked up that is and no one will listen but we (meaning the human collective) have just barely learned that some relationship dynamics are fucked up despite the ages of the participants. when one of those vine sauce boys was just having one night stands with his fans people were uproariously angry... and that's not AS bad for various reasons but still bad in a way that is now being ignored. it is never okay to take advantage of your status as a content creator to enter into any type of relation/situationship with someone, especially when you're as popular as He is. however, i'm aware relationships have certain contexts and, as an outsider, you can't and *shouldn't* try to come up with that context that you'll never know for sure... BUT, as i've said a billion times in the last year or so, knowing that someone has been watching you and a fan of you for a majority of your career should AT THE VERY LEAST make you step back and question whether or not to pursue a relationship with them. if at all.
#i can't help but be negative about their relationship not because i am a schizo nutjob but because of all of the information i've found out#about her and her past relationships. I DID NOT HAVE TO DIG DEEP TO FIND THIS INFO BTW i didn't stalk anyone but abt half a year ago a few#anonymous ppl came out and said some very eye-opening shit about her... i did try to inquire further and maybe prod and see if at least one#of them was lying but they never responded. perhaps all of the 3 ppl who had stories abt her were lying and perhaps none of them were#either way idk what they hoped to gain about coming out with their info anyways except for maybe just. finally having a reason to say it?#because they know she's dating a popular content creator idk. like i said you should take that all woth a grain of salt even though#at least SOME of that information has been proven. anyways none of that matters honestly she could be the best person ever who cares#the point i'm trying to make here is that jeremy should be disappointing people by doing this but the percentage of people who were#bothered by this doesn't add up with the current amount of sjw tumblrinas in his audience. i honestly wish all of his old 4chan misogynist#fans came back but that bridge has been burned LMFAOOOO honestly i wish i could just get over him and his stupid bullshit but i can't for#whatever reason. i'm sorry for always going on and on abt it when i half of you still adore him and want me dead everytime i talk abt this#and the other half could not give a single fuck less but. yeah. that's all i have to say really
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iraprince · 11 months
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I love the entire concept of Cookie... the look, the fashion, the gender... Would you mind telling us a little more about him? I'm also intrigued about why she's named Cooking with Gorgeous!
HI i would LOVE to talk about george thank you so much. also this makes me realize i've never actually sat down and just made a post unabashedly infodumping at length abt an oc before and it seems silly that i haven't. i ask only for all dear readers to please temper their expectations for this post with the knowledge that i just smoked half a joint before sitting down to answer it. a small one. but still. anyway
FIRST OF ALL FOR THE UNACQUAINTED THIS IS COOKING WITH GORGEOUS, aka cookie or george for short. he uses he/him and she/her pronouns interchangeably!
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hi sorry that's not cookie that's a horse in a bridal veil that i. found in my stuff while trying to scroll and find my cookie art. i just got distracted and had to show you. okay no for real here's cookie
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he's the character i'm playing in a playtest campaign of the absolutely mesmerizing sapphicworld, an in-development ttrpg!!! and if i'm going to be talking about cookie i feel like i HAVE to say i think a huge amount of her charm and dazzle and charisma comes directly from the charm and dazzle and charisma of the setting i created her for. i know i am laying it on really thick right now but that is on purpose. i want, desperately and unashamedly, for this game to get really popular bc 1. it's genuinely that good. and it's not even DONE yet and 2. i want everyone to get into it so that everyone will make sapphicworld characters and then i'll get to see everyone's sapphicworld characters.
EDIT i'm scrolling back up here and adding a readmore bc this is already getting so long lol. you asked for "a little more" and apparently i have graciously decided this means "literally every fact about cookie that exists in my brain"
SO a lot of the info/tidbits i haven't shared about cookie are i guess gameplay-specific stuff... his title (which is like a class/playbook) is "The Noble Sweetheart," though in sapphicworld "nobility" no longer has anything to do with wealth or class, and is instead entirely about amassing a court purely via devotion/popularity; her subculture (which is like, Who You Hang Out With; drifters, goths, poets, debauchers, cowpokes, etc) is Babe; and her kind (which is like ancestries but in sapphicworld is really just like, a physical form, which u can change more or less at will) is Lunarthrope, which is basically a werewolf!! or more broadly a furry, since u always look like whatever were-animal you are 24/7. just MORE at night, tho i suppose i don't represent that aspect much in my cookie art... ANYWAY i am restraining myself from just sitting here and like. transcribing her entire character sheet. but basically what all this means is that cookie's role in the world (at least at the beginning of the campaign) is "Professionally — no, VOCATIONALLY Hot Person who everyone loves so so so so so so much." cookie really enjoys this role.
he's named cooking with gorgeous because he's an avid cook, and he wants to share that with you, and he's gorgeous!! though honestly the cooking hasn't ended up as important to his character as it was when i first came up with him, lol — but my initial concept was kind of like, what's the equivalent of a bouncy normie recipe blogger/lifestyle influencer but in the context of the lush horny trans deathless psychedelic universe of sapphicworld. and it's cooking with gorgeous, a doggirl dyke with big blue boobs (six of them!!) who is so devastatingly cute and darling that a bunch of people just kind of pledge their fealty to him for no real reason other than he feeds them. and is cute
also her name is def influenced by the fantastic names of many canon sapphicworld npcs! like, quick example list of some npc names off the top of my head: the booty commie, death cybernetic, princess eureka!, the culinary goof (whom cookie dislikes. btw.), pizza friday (whom cookie loves!!!)
cookie is very very determined, and she's ALMOST always very confident. even when she isn't feeling confident, she's still very good at forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other — maybe just while screaming or crying or uncontrollably barking or at least very ardently complaining. he has a tendency to be spoiled and, like, tactless-via-obliviousness, so sometimes he can be grating to interact with, and he has a petty/vindictive streak; but in general he's an AGGRESSIVELY kind person and usually aims all his shrill, cheerful stubbornness directly toward the goal of refusing to accept anything but the best for everyone.
at the beginning of our campaign cookie has JUST received a brand new castle!!!! (chateau gorgeous.) which he doesn't actually "own" bc, remember, no wealth or class in sapphicworld, but he's the ENTHUSIASTIC new caretaker and is chomping at the bit to renovate it so ppl can live there and he can throw a bunch of magnificent parties and basically continue living exactly as he has been, But Even More Fabulous. obviously this is exactly when the main plot threat of the campaign shows up and spoils everything and compels cookie to go on his First Ever Adventure!!!!!! she HAS to save the world otherwise NOBODY will be able to go to the first big party at chateau gorgeous :((((
at this point to prevent myself from just like, giving you guys a play by play of the entire campaign so far i am going to just start listing every cookie fact i can think of as bullet points
🎀 he owns a magical sword in the shape of a giant microplane. it's called The Microplane. he pronounces this "mee-crow-plah-nay"
🎀 george desperately wants to resurrect The Dog-Lich, an entity that once ruled over all beasts from its palace on the moon but was murdered and torn to pieces in a cosmic war far in the past. her attitude towards this desire is 50% devoted lunar cultist, 50% parasocially obsessive twitter stan
🎀 this isn't really a cookie fact but going back to how his title is The Noble Sweetheart — just for a glimpse at party composition, his fellow party members' titles are The Intimate Scholar, The Tentacle Advocate, and The Tw*nk Controversial (the * is the canon spelling).
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^ aforementioned tw*nk. its name is Mwah ("pronounced like the kiss you blow at someone you just fucked over"). mwah is played by @/squiddelyfather on twitter!
🎀 mwah and cookie used to be very, very tight, BEFORE mwah became the tw*nk controversial. now that it's so.... you know.... controversial, well. they're still very close, but it has gotten a little stilted and weird (and watching them slowly un-weird it together as the campaign goes on has been one of my fav roleplay experiences ever honestly)
🎀 cookie's other adventuremates, skarligge and delaryn, are both very indulgent towards him. delaryn acts the most grumpy/dismissive about it but is honestly sometimes the worst about spoiling cookie out of anyone in the party (skarligge's player is twt@/clown_dream and delaryn's is twt@/glaiveguisarme and hey while im at it our fantastic gm is the sapphicworld dev, twt@/ddemoneclipse. hi guys i hope u don't mind me chattering abt ur ocs here lol it's just hard to talk abt the best of cookie w/o bringing up everyone else's characters and roleplay also!!!)
🎀 cookie is very VERY sensitive and will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. the precursor to this is her eyes getting So So So Big And Wet And Round. one of my favorite bits to menace the other party members with is when something is not going cookie's way i will lean into my mic and say "cookie's eyes are getting so so so big. they're getting so big and wet and round and shiny. they're so so round and fucking big her eyes are like big wet black glass marbles" and this is like kryptonite to them. this is like getting hit with deadly radiation
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🎀 oh speaking of fashion!!!! one of cookie's perks from being a Babe is that she can always change her look whenever she wants. she will ALWAYS have whatever outfit she needs and can quickchange instantly. wait this reminds me i have a bunch of seasonal holiday outfits sketched out and i don't think i've ever posted them here but it'll only let me put one more image in this post. well here have this one
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🎀 okay well suddenly i have forgotten all other george facts so that's all for now!!! from now on i will try to just dump oc facts like this more often tho this is really fun. ty for getting me going lol!!!
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crushedsweets · 8 months
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i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy
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i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..
nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.
nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.
although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'
again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.
and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.
nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.
so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.
nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL
nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.
nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..
nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..
nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.
they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.
nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.
ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.
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shuamorollss · 2 years
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CUTE THINGS THEY DO WHEN YOU DO THEIR MAKEUP — ot7/gn!reader
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note: honestly thought abt posting this only as a hyung line imagines BUTT i changed my mind and wrote for the maknae lines bc i love them all 🤭💕💕 I'm sorry of the maknaes are kinda short and half-assed. I just wanted to get rid of my writers block T_T
tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff!! >< smiled while writing heejakewonki tbh HAHAHAHA . . . not proofread
perm. taglist! @jangwonie @jungwonize @butterflyy-ningg @w3bqrl
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♡ ! — Heeseung only accepted your offer to put makeup on his just so he could feel you so close. Though he couldn't stand it just staying still and watch how you gently stylized his face, and with your adoring face so close to his... How could he not react to that? He'd swiftly yet gently just place both of his hands on your cheeks out of nowhere whilst you’re still putting his makeup, afterwards began to drown you with compliments that you didn't seem able to resist until you became a red-faced mess so close right in front of him. " God. how are you so so pretty? I could kiss you right now. "
♡ ! — Jongseong would just look into your eyes, admiring your focused face a few inch closer to him. he didn’t want to just stay still and wait until you finish doing his makeup. He can’t stop himself from suddenly kissing your nose out of nowhere. A few times he did this you were surprised but you got used to it eventually. He never seems to grow tired of placing sweet peck on your nose whenever you finish a part of doing his face. 
♡ ! — Jake is such a cutie. he always gets ecstatic whenever you tell him you wanted to put makeup on him (please he gets so excited to the point he's the one to prepare your makeup kit for you!). and by the time you are applying makeup on him, whenever he gets the opportunity he would boop your nose with his finger. he would do it when you're least expecting it, so you get startled whenever he does so. It was slightly anmoying but you couldn't help but giggle and smile whenever he does so. He's just so cute. too cute.
♡ ! — Sunghoon would be a real tease. Even you couldn't last long going too close to hoon. He's a funny fucking dude cause he'd initiate an unnecessary staring contest with you; just having eye contact with him could make your face red as hell. " How cute. " that's what he says whenever you make a pause and try to breathe as fast as you can, following with him cupping the both of your cheeks, gently pulling you right in front of his stunning face once again. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please continue. "
♡ ! — Sunoo tells you stories, fun facts, kdrama criticisms, or just tell whatever the whole time you do his face. Kind of distracting though you don't mind since he's really balanced so it's easy for you to follow and do his look. You actually enjoy him sharing his insight to you during a supposedly really quiet process. After that he offers to do yours as well, " I look so cute! Come on love, i'll do yours. Let's match looks! "
♡ ! — Jungwon actually LISTENS to you!! Quiet and obedient the whole time. Though would lose his shit by the time you get to do his eyeliner. Also by losing his shit— what I mean is that he'd suddenly kiss you whilst doing his eyeliner! He just couldn't take it " How can I not kiss you? you were so close. too close. "
♡ ! — Ni-ki is honestly so stubborn. Would take a while to finish his makeup. He teases too much but it's tolerable. As much as you want to be frustrated, you couldn't. You like him like this and for some reason, you could focus better. After that he would just let your forehead lay on his for a short while, while your noses are in direct contact. " I know it hasn't been anytime long but i miss your face this close to mine, so let's stay like this for another few minutes. "
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© wonamore 2022. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.
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adrian-sheppy · 5 months
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Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!
hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr
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I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins
i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!
but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.
...
also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.
honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).
i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons
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liloinkoink · 3 months
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*runs into inbox clothes burning and disheveled* LAMPLIGHT QUESTIONS??? YOU WANT LAMPLIGHT QUESTIONS??? (i think you made that post like four days ago so i'm late but aaaaaaaa)
what do you think is like, The Turning Point in Martyn and Ren's companionship? Or if there's more than one already written, what's your favorite?
Is there a scene that you've really been excited to write for lamplight/one that you've written but haven't shown The Public yet?
In his original party, were there like, designated roles for everyone to play? Like healer/brawler/short-range/scholar etc? If so, what role do you think Martyn specialized in? And everyone else? Is there anything you would say lamplight Martyn is good at--- like a skill or something? Also, how long had the group been together before that incident at Dogwarts?
From what I can remember, Ren and Scar are the only Gods we've seen so far--- do you have an idea of any other familiar faces that are also Gods?
Do you have any other world-building details you wanna talk about? Any Martyn or Ren thoughts that you've been wanting to talk about?
Sorry if this is too many questions, you don't have to answer all of them! Give as vague answers as you please--- honestly, anything you say about the lamplight world i Will Chew Up Like Dog Toy, so put whatever you want!
Regardless, thank you for your writing and all your efforts! I hope you have a nice day ^_^
okay this is a massive ask with so many questions in it, so im gonna repeat/bold each question and deal w em one by one
i will put this under a cut bc it is So Long. below this cut is SO MUCH lamplight worldbuilding, like, So Much, so i hope you enjoy that
what do you think is like, The Turning Point in Martyn and Ren's companionship? Or if there's more than one already written, what's your favorite?
turning point... i guess it depends how you define a turning point? any point of development in their relationship? there's been a few--heliography, with Martyn deciding to swear a real oath to Ren (if still one he can back out of); sleeping hound, w Martyn realizing Ren wouldnt ever burn him; worship the ashes, love wins. there's another big one for Martyn planned that i havent written yet, and one, maybe two or three for Ren.
my favorite, tho, hmm... i think sleeping hound.
Is there a scene that you've really been excited to write for lamplight/one that you've written but haven't shown The Public yet?
i planned the scene for how Ren gets his body back literally day one of the damn fic and i still havent written it a year later i want to SO BAD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
literally this one fuckign scene is part of the reason i STARTED WRITING THE DAMN FIC. crying
for the latter half, i posted this!
In his original party, were there like, designated roles for everyone to play? Like healer/brawler/short-range/scholar etc? If so, what role do you think Martyn specialized in? And everyone else?
i get so many questions abt martyns og party you think after a year i would have answers to them but my answer is unfortunately always that i am a treebark writer making a treebark au and it isnt relevant to ren and martyn doing ren and martyn things so i didnt really bother
that said! i dont think they necessarily had roles? they all strike me as pretty mid-level adventurers. theyre not chosen ones on holy quests. none of them are going to have songs sung about them for decades to come. they can hold their own, but they arent saving the world. theyre like,,, fantasy backpacking. doing some minor jobs sometimes. all of em are skilled enough w their weapons/magic but none of em are like, The Fighter or The Mage.
all of them are swordsmen tho bc i think swords are cool. i think Jimmy is better at it than you think he is, but not as good as he says. he will occasionally surprise you by doing something really cool and then when he turns around to brag about it he eats shit. jimmys magic really only affects the area immediately around himself
i asked local to weigh in on bigb bc thats who im least confident on and he suggested bigb using a fighting style that heavily relies on a shield? like sword in one hand shield in the other. i think thats very sick. also, bigbs magic only affects his own body
i can see Grian having some kinda little explosives he uses to fight, tho he clearly doesnt have them anymore (and doesnt need em--bro has talons these days). he used to be immune to magic, but bc of the watchers, he now has a magical core and can be cast on, which is new to him
their group didnt have a leader, either, and all decisions were just made as a group. if asked, both Martyn and Jimmy would say they were the leader (tho neither would boast this anymore, due to believing that would imply having lead Grian to his death). Grian used to handle their money (and hes annoyed about having lost it)
Is there anything you would say lamplight Martyn is good at--- like a skill or something?
he's a musician! it's come up a few times, but he's skilled in a few instruments and has a nice singing voice. hes played a lute on page, i believe, but i think he could also use a harmonica. dont worry abt whether or not those have been invented yet i dont care i just think he deserves one. probs knows a fair amount of songs thatre good in taverns and some dances that accompany them. if he ever got tired of adventuring, he could probs make a fair amount playing at bars (he'd probs do it to fundraise for himself if he didnt have to worry abt ren's lantern)
he's also a pretty decent cook. at least, Ren really likes his cooking, when he has a body again, tho Ren hasnt eaten anything in 20 years
he's generally pretty strong/fit w good stamina to walk all day long. when Ren has a body again, Martyn will be strong enough to lift him, even tho Ren is taller than him. Ren finds this incredibly impressive. Ren finds everything Martyn does incredibly impressive
of course, there's also being a deadzone, making him completely immune to magic (within reason--if someone casts fireball at him hes still going to burn). charms and curses dont work on him at all, which is very helpful as an adventurer
Also, how long had the group been together before that incident at Dogwarts?
jimmy, grian, and martyn were childhood friends, all lived in the same town/neighborhood (Evo) and grew up together. bigb moved to their hometown/neighborhood when Dogwarts fell, he was about 10? theyve been friends ever since. so theyve known each other about 20 years minimum
(note on ages: i dont know how old any of these people actually are so in lamplight theyre all like early 30s. pretty sure grian and jimmy are like late 20s? and bigb and martyn are somewhere in their 30s? so i set em all as early 30s)
barely related, it does make me laugh Dogwarts has Watchers and Evo doesnt
From what I can remember, Ren and Scar are the only Gods we've seen so far--- do you have an idea of any other familiar faces that are also Gods?
the answer to this is uh. kind of long and a little bit hysterical. so ill first direct you to this paragraph from moonlight ch2
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i did actually have uh... a few things in mind for this? but not uh. not reasonable ones
so. quite a few of them. ill be honest. to fill the paragraph and make it long and expansive i recounted the pantheon from a zolu fic abt the entire strawhat pirate crew as gods which i wrote w my friend Sam when i was like 16. i do not think the strawhat pantheon is canon to lamplight but recalling the domains i used for the strawhats was how i made a lot of the list, so, uh, take that as you will
for other characters... the god of nothing is Scar. the god of death is Kristin. the god of blood is... not Technoblade, actually? tho ive thought abt him in Lamplight. i like to think he may actually also be a paladin, he travels around w Phil. gods of places references Ren but also is a shoutout specifically to my friend Zeph who loves place gods, so i just wanted the world to have lots of them
the god of survival is actually Martyn! in leaflight, the roleswap, Martyn has long since abandoned his post as a god, but he was born the god of survival
.....oh and uh. well. the god of decay is... me! my mcrp character on another server is the god of decay. the secret truth about this specific paragraph is i wrote the entire thing so i could make a cameo in lamplight
Do you have any other world-building details you wanna talk about?
magic system... have i told you guys about magical cores? i had some of this already in mind but typing it out i made up a lot more. it is also approaching 1am so if this doesnt make any sense that's why
every person in lamplight has a magical core. it's sort of like a,,, spiritual organ? a little core of magic in them which takes magic from the air and makes it usable for an individual. cores vary in size/reserve, which is how much magic a person can do at max / how much magic their core can store. they also vary in type/strength of magic, which i guess is what a person's core processes ambient magic as
people can usually only use one kind of magic, which corresponds to what their core is. i think the type of magic is mostly determined by what/who it works on. it might work on just you and the space around you, it might work on just objects, it might work on animals, it might work on other people. magic which works on just yourself is most common and weakest, and the majority of people have that
deadzones dont have a magical core At All. theres nothing in there. straight up missing an organ. most deadzones are born this way, but i can see it be possible to become one if you Really, REALLY exhaust your core, tho that's probs rare
casting a spell depends entirely on belief. if you believe it should work, and are confident in your spell, it should do what you want, esp if it's in your power. you can... probs push your limits a bit if youre super confident, and doing this enough with enough confidence is basically the closest thing to training one's magic a person can get?
related, i can see bc of this kids having magic thats just a little stronger than adults bc of this, which is cute. kids probs also have smaller cores w smaller reserves, tho im not sure how much a core grows as a person ages
inanimate objects dont have magical cores or innate magic. i said earlier i think the lamplight world has a lot of ambient magic just floating about (which is how cores refill back to baseline once you use magic), but it doesnt stick to things unless you make it. to cast on an object, you have to use magic from your own core to adhere it to the thing youre casting on (which is why spells casted on objects dont USUALLY last that long--as said in moonlight, most only last a short while, and ren's enchants only lasted for months is just bc he was insanely powerful). you basically give items a little piece of your core with an instruction of how to use it
(jimmy's magic i think affects himself and ambient magic around him, while bigb draws entirely on his own core and can only affect himself)
i dont know if animals have magical cores ive never thought about it until this exact second. probably, but not ones most creatures know how to use? magic is belief based, they might use magic a little bit on accident? i dont know. some monsters absolutely have magical cores they know how to use
this is probs how zombies work. i think it's either a curse cast by one very powerful god/magic user a long time ago, or that people need to be properly buried or else weird things happen to their lingering magical core. or smth. i havent entirely decided
to cast on a person, you need to get your magic to stick to, cover up, or drown out Their magical core, depending on the spell. spells cast on other people dont last very long bc magical cores dont tend to like things intruding on them. this is why deadzones cant be cast on--no core, nothing for other magic to stick to
it's a little bit like a sliding scale? "weakest" magic is yourself, it's easiest to cast on yourself bc your will is your own and should generally line up w your magic, so long as you believe in what you're doing. then ambient magic, bc it's just chillin, you just need a little extra strength to grab it. then objects, tho you have to share a little will to cast on objects. then animals, they usually have smaller magical cores than ppl, friendly animals are a bit easier to bend to your will, tho some animals are harder to cast on then others, esp hostile animals or monsters. then other people. people have their own will and their own cores that are most difficult to bend/influence. so magic that works on other ppl is the "strongest"
being able to cast on a later step on the scale, like animals or ppl, doesnt mean you can do all the steps before it, tho. Scar i think can ONLY cast on living things, his magic sorta specializes in sticking to other ppls' cores. i would imagine all magic users can cast on themselves at least a little tho
to cast on a deadzone, you have to first give them a magical core, which is incredibly difficult, unstable, and dangerous. it requires a lot of power and a lot of people, which is why it did such weird things to Grian
divine magical cores are on another level entirely compared to mortals, and tho ren's was impressive as a human, it got infinitely more powerful when he became a god. he's basically a well of magic all on his own, w no limit on the size/reserve of his core
ren is overflowing w magic, but it works only on inanimate objects (things that dont have wills of their own to fight his) and himself (obviously he doesnt have to fight his own will). if Martyn werent a deadzone, he could probablt have cast on late-series Martyn, as martyn's will as ren's paladin would probs line up w ren's own
none of these rules are super hard and set in stone. lamplight magic is vibe based first and foremost
uhhh. i dont know if this all made sense? if it doesnt feel free to ask follow up questions
oh, and before anyone asks:
jimmy has a slightly more powerful core than bigb bc he can cast on ambient magic and bigb cant. bigb's core is probs bigger than jimmy's tho, so he can use more magic / use magic for longer than jimmy can
Any Martyn or Ren thoughts that you've been wanting to talk about?
heres a fun fact: gods are supposed to give their paladins blessings. Ren is no exception to this, but bc Martyn has no magical core, he cant receive them. if he did, ren's blessings would be all about protection. it'd basically be like casting armor enchants like protection and unbreaking directly on martyn's body? he'd less likely to be directly injured and sturdier in general. he would also be completely resistant to any fire, not just ren.
(the thing i said earlier is sort of why blessings work for Ren despite the fact hes technically mortal, but for other gods blessings are automatic so long as the paladin's oath stands)
Ren is aware of the fact he should be able to bless Martyn and cant and is sort of upset about it, but he blessed his armor, so he thinks thatll have to be enough
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throwaway-yandere · 2 years
Text
His Ice Fishing Buddy (Yandere!Childe/Reader)
A/n: id get accused of favoritism if i didn't write a childe fic ehe. I already wrote a fic where my current dps-es ayaka and ayato are there, would be weird if I didn't write my previous main dps lmao. sorry my tartar sauce boy. This is part 1/3(?) of the short fic "Soldier, Poet, King" (which is yandere Childe, Thoma, and Diluc respectively). Ps: I'm gonna make some stuff abt Varka's "family" cause we still don't have enough info on him lol
An actually reliable synopsis this time wow: reader vents out frustrations and childe listens w/ added bantering
Gn!reader
Cw: It's a really mild/soft & wholesome short yandere fic. Also, I likely have a different characterization for Tartaglia haha… I'm more used to his character in the voice lines so this might not have that "hey girlie~" vibes to it, I'm sorry (´-﹏-`;). Implied yan!Diluc & yan!Thoma/reader.
Parts:
Soldier (You're here), Poet, King
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If you asked (Y/n) (L/n) who Tartaglia was, they would tell you that he's nothing more than a pampered kid who got scolded by the Millileth.
If you asked (Y/n) (L/n) who Ajax was, they would tell you that he's the best fishing buddy they ever had.
In hindsight, you are correct. But that's only because you've never had any other fishing buddies to begin with, so there's no competition for him.
You loved fishing around Dragonspine's west end, close to the road that connects Liyue and Mondstadt but far enough to see both civilizations. You were viewed by the Fishing Association as a lone wolf yet beloved "cousin," the type that only came by on holidays to dish out trinkets to the family. That was your place in the group, and they regarded you with plenty of endearments.
Everyone in the association was ecstatic when they received a half-frozen letter from Tommy, penned by yours truly, which detailed a new fishing companion.
Although, when they read your tales about him, it seems as if this new partner of yours is just as unhinged as you are.
"Have you ever wondered how it would feel like to be a fish?" You asked before you cast your line. 
You kept going while smiling. "It would be nice, wouldn't it? To feel happy when you're drowning. To sink in and just… not be affected by what's up there. Kinda cool. I mean, fish can drown in certain ways, but still..."
He looked at you with a mixture of bemusement and sympathy. Ajax mentally reasoned that having long chats must be a family characteristic for the Imunlaukr Clan.
"Are you alright, comrade?" Ajax asked. He wrapped his scarf around your neck, but the effect was nearly nonexistent. You are used to this cold as much as he is, but considering how he's a full-pledged Snezhnayan man, he's likely to be more resilient. 
Still, it made your lips quirk up for a second. It's the thought that counts, right?
Ajax had always struck you as a kindred spirit. His odd fascination with fighting turned you off at first, but he has a compelling and charismatic presence. Yet, Ajax is far from a playboy. His pickup lines are rarely memorable and they hardly ever stick. Quite frankly, you thought his flirtatious jokes were enough proof that he's likely to die alone.
The man is uber-fixated on becoming stronger in such a nerdy way, which is kind of contradictory. He boasts that he's strong but seems to flail around in the hopes of achieving whatever the hell "world domination" entails.
In short, Ajax is a paper tiger in your eyes. Both in flirting AND combat.
"Never better," you replied sarcastically.
"Have you eaten lunch?"
You pointed at your half-eaten frozen... charcoal discarded in front of your humble tent.
He initially mistook that you were pointing to the letter written by an Inazuman fisherman rather than the hazardous garbage that was strewn about. Ajax's nose scrunched.
With his siblings and acquaintances, he provides them with sugarcoated words when it comes to cooking. It matters not if the scales are flakey and toasted to bitterness similar to ground coffee. But this? This, however...
"I get that it may just be my preferences talking, but it doesn't look very palatable. Don't you realize that food is like weaponry? You need to consume things that are beneficial for the body. Damn. How are you going to keep your promise of 'not dying until Ajax conquers the world' when you live like this?"
"Oh, please stop. You sound like my mother." You grimaced. "Who said you need to be a master chef to fry a fish? You just need to be moderate at arson!"
That last sentence explained a lot.
Ajax laughed boisterously. "C-Comrade, you couldn't even fry the fish right."
"Oi! Shut up. You're scaring the fish away." You grumbled. "The rain just stopped and the fish aren't coming back. So be quiet."
"I'd be afraid too if that sad charcoal is my fate."
"Just shut up."
"Amuse me: were you cooking for yourself or were you just crafting fish baits?–"
"SHUSH."
Tartaglia would have offered you a big supper in Liyue under normal circumstances. During combat, he had fleeting thoughts about pampering you with the dishes and clothing you deserved. He can see you dress up just for him holding his arm as you both enter the establishment so vividly. Tartaglia could hear your laughter fill the air as you mispronounce different Liyue cuisines. 
He felt hollower each time he snapped out of his daydreams and remembered your patched and ragged clothes in this unforgiving climate
However, Ajax desired to uphold this image you had of him. Even if your cheap lifestyle is slightly killing the banker's insides. 
"Hey, why don't you eat something in Mondstadt? My treat."
You gazed up, confused.
"Why?"
"There's no way you haven't missed a good, juicy, meaty steak," Ajax said, his voice similar to a burlesque salesman. "Plus, I'll accompany you on your trip. The road's teeming with hilichurls compared to this dead place. There'll be plenty of fights waiting for me if I accompany you, so why not?" 
As long as no one saw Ajax's mask, no one would shun him for being a Harbinger. He had already sent directives for the Fatui stationed in Mondstadt not to approach him on this little date. 
The only problem is Master Diluc…
Why didn't he exposed that he's a Fatui Harbinger yet?
You rolled your eyes. "Why not? The reason why not is because I'm not going to order steak just to sate your bloodlust. Plus, Good Hunter has a delivery service anyway."
"But you should go home once in a whileeee," Ajax whined.
You yanked back your reel, but there was no sign of a catch.
"Why are you so persistent?" You said in a monotone voice.
It didn't sound like a question. It sounded like a complaint.
Ajax finally realized how crestfallen you were when he stared at you. Your expression had been the same the second he mentioned Mondstadt. He felt a stab of remorse as he struggled to come up with a reply.
Your eyes looked just like his, dead.
"I don't want to be seen at the town square."
Ajax paused and hesitate on whether or not he should ask. He decided that it would be best if he would've ordered Viktor to figure out what happened if you didn't tell him anyway. "Why?"
"I overheard a few things about me." You said. "A few things I didn't even know about myself."
"Oh?"
You both paused, but it was a comfortable silence. As Ajax sat alongside you on the wood, your shoulders began to relax. The ice gradually soaked his gray trousers, but his attention did not divert. Ajax's entire focus was on you, and it warmed your heart to know you have such a wonderful friend.
"Ready when you are, (Y/n)."
You felt some kind of zest. In this scenario, hearing him use your name instead of "comrade" had a distinct effect you can't quite put a finger on.
"Right." You cleared your throat. "So, uh, last week when you weren't here I overheard Marjorie and some blonde rat-tailed guy talk about me a-and umm..."
Your eyes were beginning to moisten. You bared the restricting ache in your chest with a close-eyed grin and proceeded to spill.
"S-She wasn't saying nice things. That's all."
You would have had a better chance of seeing Ajax's evil gaze if you had kept your eyes open the entire time. You might have noticed how strangely silent he was if you had concentrated on him instead of composing yourself. Instead, you were clinging to the last shred of self-control you had to not let the floodgates open.
"Marjorie, the Souvenir Shop owner? Do you know the other man?"
"No." You shook your head weakly. "Never met him, I think. He seemed like a tourist but he looked like a Mondstadter..." 
"I-I mean, not-that-it-bothers-me-of-course. I know I'm a weirdo, but I'm ashamed to think that I never once pieced together that people think I'm a disappointment to the Imunlaukr Clan. I thought everybody in my family was unique, but I didn't realize that I'm underwhelming when it comes to... whatever positive uniqueness people are after. It gets suffocating when I hear those harsh words constantly whenever I come home. Especially since I don't have a vision."  
"That's why I hate visiting little Mond. Everyone there despises me. Some have the gall to hide it to gain my cousin's favor, while some flat out tell me that they want my name erased from the family tree." You continued. 
"So, I guess that's why I'm so glad to have met you and the Fishing Association. You didn't know who my family was and treated me like a friend, not a means to an end." 
Ajax took a deep breath. You laughed nervously a few seconds later.
"Haha, that kinda rhymed. Sorry. Even I admit that that was too much. I'm rambling again. My bad."
To be honest, he also had an ulterior motive when befriending you. Keyword: had. 
He sought you out before to leech out more information about Grandmaster Varka, who seemed to go on month-long expeditions out of nowhere. It made him agitated. He was desperate to learn more about Mondstadt's powerhouse that he combed through all of his contacts until he came across you. The joyful titan's favorite cousin: the isolated fisherman.
Tartaglia saving you from drowning in Wyrmrest Valley was no "stroke of luck" as you put it.
Tartaglia intended to kidnap you for ransom, one that can only be paid by sparring with a worthy opponent.
But after getting to know you, your insecurities, and your passion as a human being for half a year, Ajax couldn't help but want you even if he tried not to.
He could no longer bring himself to cause harm to the one weak link to The Knight of Boreas. If anything, he learned firsthand why Varka was adamant about keeping you safe and hidden. It also made sense why there were rumors that the Uncrowned King of Mondstadt has a crush on you. You are too eccentric– too valuable for the public eye
Perhaps it was for the best that you declined Ajax's offer. He loathes the idea of others looking at you, particularly that redhead with a (reasonable) vendetta against him. You're better off isolated. 
Alone, with him.
He rubbed his thumb at the back of your palm. 
"Comrade..." Ajax cooed. "You're not a disappointment."
 You laughed.
"A part of me already acknowledged that, but thank you. It's impossible to be like Varka. I wish I could be like him every day, but the thing is the only thing I'm good at is whipping this rod and reeling in a big one... and I didn't even get a catch today. Hell, when I tried to train, Diluc told me to just give up and let him do all the protecting-and-what-not. I wish I could just, well, not think about other people like Varka does."
You exhaled deeply. If not Varka, then you hope to become like your pen pal, Fixer, instead. He frequently offered sound advice on how to be more friendly and personable, and he even offered to meet with you after the Sakoku decree was repealed. "Fixer" didn't appear to mind rumors about him, despite the fact that he's a Mondstadter living in a xenophobic country. You can only dream of being that resolved in your worth and confidence.
Maybe you should accept his invitation to meet up. Fixer sounded like he was dying to see you. After all, it's the least you could do for the man who still kept in contact despite his country's prohibition.
"Huh?! Diluc said that?" Ajax suddenly exclaimed. "What kind of man discourages someone from training? People should strive to be formidable warriors if they want to--"
He stopped when he realized you were staring at him with immense judgement.
"Ah, right, wrong timing." He gulped.
"But hey." Ajax squeezed your hand, and you squeezed back. "Comrade, you're being too harsh on yourself and you know it. Hell, it's those scheming bad guys who should be self-critical, not you."
He definitely had his co-workers in mind when he said that.
You snickered. "I'm not a child anymore, Ajax. There's no such thing as bad guys."
"Well," Ajax nervously cleared his throat, undoubtedly uncomfortable. "I mean, there's the Fatui."
"What, like that big doofus Childe?" You teased.
He froze.
Ouch.
'Ajax' laughed sparingly.
"Yeah. Like him. Just tell me if those guys are bothering you, I'll get them knocked off their perch."
You shrugged. "Whatever, sure."
Hmm...
He continued to stare at you with a small smile, long enough for you to see that his eyes are noctilucous jade-like. They were gleaming. Is this how they've always been? You could've sworn his eyes were a dull shade of cobalt blue (though you never told him that since you were afraid he'd challenge you to a sparring match). 
 
"Why are you still smiling? Is there something on my face?" You giggled.
That immediately made Ajax flinch. "H-Ha? Oh, what, no, of course not, wha– pshaw! I just got lost in thought, that's all." 
"Really?" You raised an eyebrow playfully. "Then what is The Greatest and Most Renowned Snezhnayan Fisherman pondering about in the company of his Poor and Estranged Mondstadter Friend, hmm? Mora for your thoughts?"
Ajax looked away.
"It's a bit embarrassing."
"What is?" You said. "C-C'mon, if there is something on my face just say it, man!"
"No, no, nothing like that." Ajax pouted, yet he still refused to face you. "It's just that..."
"I just thought you're drop-dead gorgeous, that's all."
You blushed.
"L-Like, the light of the moon." He continued blabbering. "The perfect lighting for a bloodbath or a crime scene, for added mystery."
The warmth in your face fizzled out as you smacked his arm. Classic Ajax. He can't go on for ten minutes without thinking about fighting. Somehow, that 'drop-DEAD' compliment was fitting coming from him. You're pretty sure he mentioned something about wanting to see his enemies drop dead on several occasions.
"You had me at drop-dead gorgeous but you ruined it with that last part, idiot."
Ajax was dying inside. Sure, he had slain multiple enemies as a 14-year-old but no amount of "maturing" prepared him for the awkward steps of wooing someone.
He's still a little kid deep down who grew up too fast, and sadly, he will always be more comfortable holding a weapon than a person's hand.
Please, have some mercy.
"You asked me how I felt, so I just said what I thought of at the time!"
"Gah! You're hopeless."
You ruffled his ginger hair roughly before his shoulders and spine tensed up. He was unable to look away. Your wide grin is a wholesome sight to see. 
Even though Dragonspine was frigid, he's pretty sure his cheeks were scorching.
"But thank you, friend." You whispered loud enough for him to hear. "You always know just what to say. You're right, I'm too critical."
He puffed humorously, "Of course you are. But anytime, (Y/n)."
"Perhaps you should start self-reflecting as well," you suggested, a little less soft this time. You stood up and gradually increased the distance between you two.
He scowled as he realized where this shift in tone was leading. 
With a mischievous smile, you added. "You know... since you can't seem to land a critical hit with your attacks."
He sneered, oblivious to the fact that he'd already summoned his hydro weapon before you even finished your punchline. 
"HEY!"
It's not his fault he gets so scared fighting when you're around, okay?! You're one of the few people who makes him nervous when fighting. In Ajax's heart, you are already a part of his family, and revealing his real fighting style would be like telling Teucer he wasn't Snezhnaya's greatest toyseller. He doesn't know what he'll do if he makes a mistake that leads you to suspect that he's Tartaglia. He doesn't know what he'll do because you are the one who causes him to falter—
You started sprinting.
"SEE YA LATER, AJAX!"
"What the-- YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE– GET BACK HERE, (Y/N)!!!"
Normally, he would have caught you as you headed for the pines and exacted his wrath in under ten seconds, but he made the mistake of glancing down. Ajax stared at his frozen reflection in the stream.
He grinned.
You're truly starting to restore the brightness in his eyes whenever you're around.
It's only justice that those people will soon deeply regret spreading false rumors about you, right? 
Then, all Tartaglia needs to do now is collect Marjorie and that blonde man's debt...
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Darling mutual of mine please please give me more about the first two snippets, like I'm wondering why the sect leader visited Shen Yuan, is it in any of your already mentioned works in progress? (Actually about the tea that the original Shen used to detect qi deviations, if it was drunk by the sect leader would he have any reaction because of the sword thing? Sorry I'm rambling)
And it was with those practice sheets strewn across his table that he reluctantly welcomed his Zhangmen-shixiong into his bamboo house. The man had had his familiar kicked dog eyes in full force when he'd gone to check who was knocking at his door, and he had been weak to it. He hadn't shown it, of course. No, he'd looked the sect leader up and down with a critical eye before snapping his fan open. Covering the bottom half of his face to hide the put upon downturn of his lips, before he'd welcomed the man in, instructing him to sit down whilst he made tea. A more minor but no less helpful boon of the muscle memory of the original Shen Qingqiu was how to prepare tea the ancient Chinese way.  Taking his time searching through the sachets he landed on a particularly sweet tea that had the unusual properties of becoming unnaturally sour when exposed to turbulent atmospheric qi. Shen Qingqiu suspected the original had used it to help detect when he was entering into a qi deviation.
So, I'll answer your questions segment by segment!
The sect leader visited SQQ bc of the fact that someone complained to him that Shen Qingqiu had a cool code language and wouldn't tell anyone about it and how it's totally unfair that just him (the sect leader) and SQQ get to know it! And so he went to investigate because of [redacted reasons explained later in the wip ;)]!!
Also the tea thing; so Yuan *thinks* it's to detect qi deviations and that is part of it, but also turbulent atmospheric qi makes it *super* bitter and it just so happens to be the tea OG!SQQ used every time the sect leader weaselled his way into having sit-down tea time with SQQ, so poor YQY always thought SQQ gave him tea that started sweet but turned super nasty the longer it seeps but it's literally just OG!SQQ projecting so much resentment at him that it turns his tea bitter! And hm, I hadn't considered it but yeah I bet the tea would also turn sour because of the whole sword issue and SQQ would just never notice because of the above explanation!! He's too busy causing literal psychic damage to the tea to notice!
And the provided context for this snippet is a au wherein Shen YUAN was the past life of Shen JIU and only a few small things were kept in his mind during the life cycle change like him having memories of two older brothers and a baby sister and english. (joke abt language teachers being a traumatic experience inserted here) And so little Shen Jiu teaches baby Yue Qi about this secret language only *he* can read, write and speak. And it's their code from then on.
Well, due to the system and the qi deviation that let it slip in, Shen JIU's memories and Shen YUAN's full past life memories were returned so for Shen YUAN it feels like transmigration but it's not. And to keep up his english skills for reasons explain a bit earlier on than the provided snippet he uses sheets of paper to keep his writing skills in tip top shape a rather intense argument is going to break out between SQQ and YQY over the contents of the sheet!
--
It was a testament to how well the sect leader hid his clingy muddle-mouthed side that people had thought Shen Qingqiu was acting irrational. Or spoilt for that matter. It was more like Shen Qingqiu was being bought with all these wonderfully expensive trinkets to either keep quiet about how much of a fool the sect leader was behind closed doors or about whatever had made the sect leader so foolish in the first place. Whatever it was must have been earth shattering for him to keep it up after the peak lord had lost most of his memories - maybe he feared that would be one thing Shen Qingqiu wouldn't forget, vindictive as his memories had seemed to make him. Or perhaps that had been one thing his shixiong had remembered, they were the only two in the room when the Qing Jing peak lord had arisen after his qi deviation after all.
And this second section!!
Ah, Liushen my beloved.
@vveirdnobdy and I are working on a liushen prompt list (sorry for the tag bestie) between ourselves atm and this is for the prompt 'bad habits' and since many of my ideas for the prompts revolve around my favourite liushen concept of courting and fan-returns it only felt right to have that be the focus of this prompt! But this particularly extract is from Liu Qingge's pov reminiscing on how SQQ has been really bitchy lately and comes to the (incorrect) conclusion it's because SQQ keeps having to have meetings with YQY bc he's accidentally intercepting covert correspondence.
What is actually happening is that SQQ is leaving little notes in his fans for his faithful shidi to find that are either confessing his feelings or flirting with LQG, but he's so dedicated to protecting the sanctity of their sect tactician's privacy he's never opened them and keeps returning them unopened. This leads to SQQ realising he's working against a brick wall but determined to push through anyway- leaving him very annoyed and then leads to LQG's above (incorrect) realisation.
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danggirlronpa · 17 days
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Oh! That Tusmugi/Celestia ask reminds me... What about headcanons for Celestia/Kaede? I have a fondness for the pair, as they're both two of the female characters that embody "lies" most aside from Tsumugi. Plus this is another "someone will die." "Of fun!" pairing, which is always great. Everyone looks at Kaede wondering what she sees in her, not knowing that Kaede is just as wild underneath as her, just in a different way. They're fun! :D
I don't know that I've ever seen Celestia/Kaede before!! What a fun concept. We love a preppy nerd/goth ship.
We joke about Celestia being Ultimate Lucky Student V2: Now With Cards!, but I do genuinely think that Celestia's talent is less about her luck in the game and more about what gambling truly excels on: reading other people. Part of why the Queen Of Liars gambit is so important to her is because a major part of being good at gambling is covering up your tells and tricking the opponent. Celestia's explanation of luck as her guiding principle - all bullshit to cover up her true strengths so she isn't found out. Lying to hide that she lies. Celestia may not be all that good at backing up her lies when they have to hold up under long-term scrutiny (see: Robo Justice. ho boy), but in the short duration of, say, a poker game, she can lie and catch lies with the best of them.
Which is to say, in a world where they're in a killing game together, the moment Kaede "feels so guilty she makes the class murder her" Akamatsu picks up a shot put ball, Celestia drags her aside and goes GIRL. YOU ARE ABOUT TO CRY AND HAVE BEEN FOR AN HOUR. WHAT THE HELL IS UP.
Honestly, the only reason Kaede manages to go through with the murder in the first place is because no one has the emotional intelligence (sorry Kaito) or investigative intelligence (sorry Shuichi) to glance at where she is sweating bullets organizing library books for two full hours for seemingly no reason and going yo. Uh. Whats going on there. So the introduction of someone who will actually catch on to whatevers happening is sort of a relief to Kaede, who, like most people abt to do something irreversible, is kind of half-hoping someone will catch her and stop her
Except Celestia goes "let me in on this take. With the first blood perk we can both get out." and. Well.
Celestia uses yuri For Evil, is what I'm saying
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vip3r-r · 5 months
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Hello! I'm not sure if you still write for her but, if so, may I request vantage w/a reader who has sensitive thighs but doesn't like to have them covered headcanons? Some risky, some not if you can!
Hello! It’s been like forever since I written something! And of course I still write for vantage, She’s my favorite and my main so I really can’t stop loving her <3
I love the request it’s so interesting. Thank you Anon for the wonderful Vantage request since nobody writes for her </3 you didn’t specify if she was a legend or not so I’m going to write two versions. Update I’m so sorry this probably sucks— but if you wish to send something different I would absolutely do it!
Warnings / tags
I’m bad with English since it’s not my first language but I tried my best, bad grammar, no pronouns used, kinda spicy in the end…
Vantage x sensitive thighs! Reader
You two finally had a match together, it was a duo match, Vantage was laying down looking out prey as she spotted you.
She knew you from your unique outfits, she didn’t know the names of the style since she didn’t really care but she found them rather interesting (mostly because if you where out in the wild you wouldn’t survive with such outfits)
Half of them usually had holes between your thighs or were simply shorts… but today you had a completely different look, and surprisingly it had pants.
The games had a new theme which was mystery, and you were the lucky one to have a new outfit! Unlucky for you it had pants… you had to wear them for at least a day or two.
As you were looting, you saw the small light besides you and looked behind you, seeing the sniper looking directly at you
“Vantage” as she hears her name, Vantage lets her sniper down “y/n” you two smile at each other and she quickly makes her way toward you.
You explain why you look uncomfortable or awkward and she simply asks why they hurt, which you explain your own reason why they hurt.
When the games end and she has to go back to her room she tries to find some book that help her figure it out. Vantage is a hunter, if she does get hurt she’s probably not even going to find it amusing and patch it up (pretty sure her pain tolerance is high af)
Vantage stood up just researching how to help you and out of nowhere you have a Vantage ready to help (she’s trying!)
She’s new to relationships and honestly she would be so clumsy and would probably act like she always does but if she had someone so special that is willing to be with her and fight with her she would probably do this things for them!!
Anyway evil time
Vantage once was on your room and she wanted to show you something, her hand gently rubbing against your thigh and you let out a small gasp that made her go like “:0”
Ever since, she touches you here and there just to hear that gasp or whatever noise you make that day.
There was this time she was teasing you during a match, you two where hiding and she was just rubbing her hands between your thighs, making you cover your mouth and look away, one noise and you two where lootboxes.
Guys I was doing research abt Vantage and her personality and I found out SHES STINKY— like hear this out “Vantage has incredibly poor hygiene, stating that she does not bathe or wash her clothes” STINKY LOVER STINKY LOVE
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ask-teamplayer · 1 year
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what do you guys all think of fate?
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DARIN: not gunna lie sometime it b like
DARIN: ALL HAIL OUR GREAT FOREVER LEADER
DARIN: i aint know SHIT abt communism but we livin close to it with that guy
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DARIN: that cute ass guy...
DARIN: cute as in cutie but also cute ass
DARIN: hes got a really cute ass im sayin
SETH: yeah, hes really hard to like... dislike!
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SETH: he just worms his way under your skin and you cant even be mad at the little guy. hes just so charming and funny!
SETH: ive known him since i was young, so i have the best word here. how can you not fall in love with him a little??? bro love i mean. you know. how can you not just wanna wrap him up in a blanket??
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NAHLA: Neeeerrrrdsss.
NAHLA: He is so full of bullshit, and honestly it's kind of crazy you think he's some kind of powerful leader type! He only breaks up fights because you're weak for him. So weaakk.
NAHLA: He is fun to prank. I will give you that and that only! It's funny to see him go on his little fits! Maybe that "small people are closer to hell" thing had some truth to it! Haha.
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SETH: sure, nahla...
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RONIN: yeah, f's probably the reason im friends with any of you stupid fucking people. he deserves some credit for that.
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VERA: Hey now
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RONIN: shit. except you, v. i dont know if we wouldve met without his divine intervention but i never wouldve hated you.
RONIN: we've got a trio thing going on with the guy, if you havent noticed, anon. he just forces us introverts to talk to each other, so i guess thats one thing he succeeded on.
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CORA: I swear hearing the friend group discuss Fate without him in the room is always interesting. It's like he's some kind of friendship zeitgeist. Whenever he's in the room he's the center of attention, whenever he's out of it he's the center of discussion.
CORA: Somehow, every topic of colloquy we as a group have circles around to that boy and his many complexities. I enjoy his presence and participate in many philosophical discussions with him, but I'm more interested in the impact he leaves.
CORA: Every boy I am mutually friends with never shuts the fuck up about him. Even the straightest of macho men I have spoken with who accept his identity. It's quite humorous and frustrating.
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LILY: hes silly :P
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CORA: That as well...
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ENZO: honestly its hard to tell if some of yall are too harsh on him except nahla in which case its really fuckin obvious and you gotta learn some empathy but whatever im not your dad
ENZO: dudes a goddamn sweetie pie but also a little asshole he balances it
ENZO: like the second i get uncomfortable he descends upon me like a shark smelling blood in the water to pamper me like im a fuckin handbag dog and hand out food and reassurances and sort the shit out he literally will just not let me be anxious ever no matter the circumstances
ENZO: he brings fuckin FANNY PACKS sometimes when we re out of school like he is THAT GUY
ENZO: i dont even think he knows half of what he does to me cause he drives me crazy lmao
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CORA: As I said: Never shuts the fuck up about him. Homo-erotically crazy about this boy.
CORA: It's fascinating.
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ENZO: yo cora i get its like your thing but can you interrogate me about my nonexistent sexuality issues a lil less cause i can fuckin hear you and its not all that polite
ENZO: im from the south i can make jokes like i ever experienced politeness in my life bro! shut up i literally just like the guy cause hes nice im not in the mood today
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FATE: Sorry, bathroom break.
FATE: What are we talking about?
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ENZO: NOTHING
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CORA: Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
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FATE: Cool.
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briarpatch-kids · 2 years
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Hi, you seem rly cool and rly knowledgeable (/gen) and I guess I was wondering like, when would be the best time to get a rollator? I deal with a lot of pain when walking and standing, I can't even rly be on my feet for half an hour, and I get exhausted and feel the need to sit down often, I can't stand in place at my job even if it's a short shift bc it hurts and drains me so much, but some days I'm okay and can walk fine (or better anyways) and do a lot, etc. etc.
I haven't been diagnosed w/ anything (to be fair I haven't gotten to see a doctor bc I'm extremely broke and have absolutely no idea how to navigate the medical system on my own) but Im pretty much always in pain and exhausted. Im rly tired of my feet going numb and burning or whatever when I try to stand, my muscles hurting and straining almost every time I walk, and of being so drained every time I go out. I rly wanna be able to go out more easily. I have a cane I try to use but it honestly doesn't do as much as I'd like and usually hurts my wrist :( would a rollator even be a good idea or would something else be better? I'm just really anxious Abt all of this, it's so hard to find advice and answers for any of the questions I have :'' I'm rly sorry I'm dumping this on you and I'm sorry if you're not sure how to answer or respond. Also pls dont worry Abt answering if you don't have the energy :) thank you
Honestly those all sound like good reasons to get a rollator, I really like the Drive Nitro or other "euro style" rollators. They're a lot more portable and can go over more surfaces than the other style.
If you want to get medical coverage and care for this and you're in the US, call a medical clinic nearby that does primary care and ask for a primary care doctor and an appointment. Of you're uninsured you can sometimes find sliding scale clinics that will cost much less, the one here is called Terry Reilly.
Once you're there, talk to them about what's been happening and what makes it better and worse so they can run some basic tests and hopefully prescribe you a rollator so you can get around while you wait for things to get figured out. Make sure it's for a wheeled walker with a seat. They might want to send you to physical therapy, I'd let them but make sure the physical therapists know when things are making you feel worse, especially if the "feel worse" is lingering and not just while you do the PT. You can ask them how to use the rollator the best way and have them adjust it to fit you.
From there, I usually get a prescription written and take it down to a medical supplier. My local one is called Norco and also sells welding supplies because it uses oxygen tanks the same way some disabled people do. They'll show you what insurance will usually cover and what you can pay extra for. There's usually 10 or so different models with like, heavy duty or low height features and 3 wheeled walkers, a Euro style one, walker/transport chair combos... etc. You can try out the floor models and see which one suits you best before you pick them out too. Generally they have untouched models of the walkers in the back and you can take it home the same day which is nice.
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niemernuet · 2 years
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since you‘ve already done alpine skiing for the fandom character ask game, i‘m gonna ask you to do schwingen 😁 and pls elaborate a bit because i definitely don‘t know enough without that 😅😇🥰
How did I deserve you?? 😭 Thank you so much for your question. This is going to be fun. 😁
blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): There is only one! The one and only! *aggressively waves at my icon* Armon Orlik!
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It's the smile! It's the aloofness! It's the blatant scorn against social media! It's the talent coupled with skills and determination! It's the curls that he let grow out during lockdown and cut again for the new season! 😭 It's the fact that he's the only Schwinger who approximatively knows how to wear a suit!
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I want him to be King so bad it's not even funny anymore. Also, he reminds me a bit of Sharl in more than one way: 1. He's his own worst critic, and nobody needs to remind him of his mistakes (quite the opposite). With Sharl it's the "I am stupid" from Baku, and with Armon it's the way he barely held it together after he lost the final round in Zug in 2016 that just makes me want to light the world on fire for them:
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2. The nordostschweiz. Schwingverband is, at times, Ferrari-levels of incompetent and infighting, and whatever success they can celebrate on national levels are more despite the NOSV and not thanks to.
scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): A very fluctuating position. My OG scrunkly, when the term scrunkly was still one and half decade away from being coined, when tumblr did not exist yet and Schnappi was at the top of the charts, was Willy Graber. He's not a scrunkly anymore, in fact he's retired, but he'll always be my scrunkly. He was always among the smallest wrestlers but that never stopped him.
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Sorry abt the quality. First one is from 2011 (I think) against Grab, second one is from 2019 with Walther at the celebration of his fifth and last eidg. Kranz.
After a long draught, my next scrunkly was Marcel Bieri. He picked up the slack for Zug when Reichmuth crumbled in 2019 and won all his fights on the first day.
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He's had really bad luck with injuries since then, also he's been growing a Gasly-style beard (no picture), which...bby...no...but I still love him. 💖
Now that I'm old and spent, pretty much every baby-faced Neukranzer is my scrunkly. How are they allowed to fight when they're just so smoll?!?!
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scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Benjamin Gapany. Nobody cares about him bc he's Fribourgeois and doesn't speak German that well. 😔
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glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): It's Schwingen, they're all obscure in the grand scheme. 🙈
poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Joel Wicki. He knows that he's good. Unfortunately for the longest time he didn't know that he wasn't supposed to say it out loud. Tbh in any other sport his self-proclamations would be average, imo they don't sound that different than for example Odi's towards the end of the last season, furthermore they're true bc he usually is the best at every tournament he participates, but Schwingen is all about humility, and saying that you consider your performance good bc you won a fight automatically draws comparisons to Ibrahimovic. 🙄
Also the teamspirit in the Innerschweizer Verband is not the best not existing and it is a wonder he even reached the Schlussgang in Zug. With the exception of Schurtenberger, who kept Armon back (grr...), pretty much nobody helped him in any way.
Also also Stucki is about 20 cm taller and probably 50 kg heavier, and he had to fight him TWICE in Zug, all while carrying the expectations of the entire Innerschweiz.
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horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Nobody, of course. 😂 They do that just fine on their own (see my last point)
eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): I don't have to send him, he's already in a superhell of his own making: Arnold Forrer, Schwingen's answer to Nico Rosberg. He spent his best years fighting against Abderhalden, and losing every time. He was crowned King in 2001 but he didn't even win then (final round was a draw and the jury declared him the winner), and when Abderhalden retired, he was past his prime. The reason why Nöldi hasn't retired yet is bc he wants to be the first man to win 150 wreaths (Kränze). He's been at 147 for the last three years (two if we're ignoring 2020), and it...does not look good. He's 43, has an artificial hip, and problems with his back...srlsy I can't overstate how impossible that goal is. It also feels so unnecessary, he's already record holder by a wide margin (second-most Kränze is Pellet with 136 and he retired long ago) with nobody in sight to beat him within the next decade. But he just does not want to give up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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salsakiyoomi · 9 months
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hi!! congrats on hitting 1k!! i 'm a relatively new follower of urs and i just wanted to partake in this. thanks ^_^
fandom: JJK 
name: call me lee or use ⭐
abt me: 
im an introvert. mellow, light-hearted, down-to-earth and a bit assertive when i can be and i have tendencies to be passive-aggressive when provoked. i think i'd say i'm kinda stubborn as well and i don't like to cause trouble for myself for no good reason/do things i don't want to do. i tend to be rational and use common sense more than anything. i go with the flow and i'm quite unshaken to setbacks and try not to dwell on them. im also observant and catch onto small details and remember the small things abt ppl easily. i get along with most people really since i don't have strong feelings of hate for the people around me (tolerant as hell). im also naturally intelligent but the lack of motivation kinda throws me off (lazy bum). when im around people, i tend to be corny as hell with my jokes and they are almost always a hit or miss. im also sarcastic (too much for my own good tbh). people have told me im quite warm-hearted, loyal and considerate. a friend of mine also told me they felt like they could be themself in my presence. im also quite comical (in terms of my facial expressions). i also like to have fun and enjoy myself but it takes a ton out of me. also i get terribly flustered easy over the smallest things whether it be compliments or flirts..
as for hobbies i really love drawing and im into videogames (mostly horror games) and tv series/movies. honestly whatever catches my attention. i also want to play the guitar and garden soon.
ideal type: i look for someone who i can spend time with.. i like to take things slow, so i guess something casual then turns serious. also someone trustworthy. i have a hard time expressing how i feel so i tend to use more actions than words. id also like someone who can motivate me cuz im quite the lazy person. knowing that someone has my back is something i deeply appreciate. i can understand jealousy but be willing to talk to me abt it so i can make it up instead of acting all distant. other than that, the bare minimum wins. you love me, i love you.
season: winter, early-mid spring or whenever it rains.
favourite trope: childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort
congrats and thank you again! sorry for using anon..
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HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : SATORU GOJO
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— honeymoon :
satoru thinks it's funny, how you've been ignoring him for half of the day, all because he took your leftovers in the fridge, you frown at him every time you see him and you throw snarky remarks whenever he talks to you — it's fine, he thinks, you'll get over it on your own, he'll buy you a new pizza if he has to — and sure enough, he does, and you almost forget that you were mad at him while you're munching on your pizza and he's suddenly kissing your cheek. you groan in annoyance, trying to push him off but he only laughs and drops his body weight on you, mumbling something about how you can't resist him and that you're all over him and you find it so ridiculous that you laugh and when he tries to kiss your lips, you kiss him back, trying to ignore the smile you have on your face and the way his hand snakes up your body to hold your waist — you figure you can forgive him for stealing your leftovers.
you, on the other hand, think it's funny how easily jealous satoru gets. it's silly really, it was all because he saw a coworker talking with you — wait no, flirting with you when satoru was there to pick you up — the whole drive home was him being grouchy, you couldn't help but laugh about it really, and when the two of you got back home, it looked like the pout only is face only got deeper because you haven't made any move to talk to him yet, it wasn't until bedtime that you snuggled up to him, and buried your ace in the crook of his neck, mumbling about how much you loved him really and there was no way in hell you would ever think about being with someone else — ultimately, satoru was a big softie for you, and he couldn't help but melt under your touch and hold you close.
if there was one thing satoru loved about you, it was the fact of how long he knew you — ever since he was eight, if he remembers correctly, he likes the idea of how he knows you inside out, knows you like nobody else, better than anybody else. so when the day came of your third year anniversary of dating — or rather, twenty years of friendship, he knew exactly what to do, he ordered fancy dinner ( mcdonalds ) and invited you over to his place ( for netflix and chill ) and actually made an effort to make the living room look inviting for you, and once you were there, he scooped you up in his arms, laid on the couch and turned on the tv to put on a show, it wasn't long after that it only became background noise as the two of you were practically making out, taking short breaks in between just to catch your breath and for him to mumble sweet nothings to you, it's silly and sweet how the two of you are, he thinks, but it's not like he would have it any other way.
— what's on the radio : lust for life, lana del rey
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a/n : lee's such a cool name, ty for the request
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rrxnjun · 2 years
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hiii I'm sorry it took me sm time to reply i miss sending you these asks and talking to you 🤧 my hols have been going crazy with just tution class after tution class hh i did go on a 2 day trip last weekend tho and it was a nice break <3 (minus the part where we got drenched in the rain for like 2 hours straight. weather forecasts are scams.)
also screw uni for giving you a hard time :( just so you know I'm so proud of you for having the courage to move to a new place and to work on whatever you're studying right now despite not liking the city <33 manifesting sm fun moments and things to look forward to for you 🕯️🕯️ the weekends coming so hope that makes you feel better !!
help i had to Google up fire and air signs my astro knowledge = pinterest memes lol hfhfj all ik is I'm taurus. so after extensive research I've learnt that I have a thing for * drumroll * aquarians and capricorns (and the occasional Aries and cancer <33) hfjjf i had to search up all of my biases' zodiac info. i literally remember only hoshi's gfdhj He's not my bias (yet ??) but i find it funny before he's like, the Gemini of geminis 😭😭
YOO SEHUNS RAPS ALWAYS, LIKE ALWAYS, GET ME 'thats right my type' from his part in monster is stuck in my head rn. monster by exo <333
(OMG also you can drive ?? THATS COOL i wanna learn it so bad i can only drive a bike rn lolll bc you can only learn to drive cars from when you're 18 here)
HFJKDJFBJ i have a couple more exo memes (half of them are cursed hope no one checks the gallery in my phone) but for sm reason I'm not able to send pics or link things here Tumblr do be getting nastier by the day
the ncit coding thing was jungwoo the mechanical engineer and the others era LMAOO but that concept was 🥴 ngl college aus are a guilty pleasure for me and the shit they did just made my imagination go wild lol THE SPIDERMARK AGENDA THOOO DIDNT THINK HED ACTUALLY DO IT but again mark is the most likely to do smth like that
Do not talk to me about Lee donghyuck from that era. Just. Don't. He hot. HEWASINSANEFORTHATLIKETHECABLESTHINGWASFINEBUTTJFHRHKFCOLOURPALLETTEANDTHELOLLIPOPFUUUUUUHFHHF.
2 baddies is the catchiest song there exists the title makes me crack the fuck up its so funny DJFKLA i love it tho!!!!! havent checked out the whole album yet but designer's been on repeat its so good!!!! if you listened already, tell me your faves and ill make sure to get to it soon so we can talk abt it :pp
2 baddies 2baddies 1 porsche stil makes me giggle ngkf i haven't checked out the album yet hh (damn i have this and brand new by xiumin but i chose 28 reasons by goddess seulgi over both of them shhh) but i did listen to designer and hmmm <333
p.s. ily bar take care !! and stay safe 💕
its okay!!! we are both busy and mentally tired, send asks whenever you want to! i miss talking to you too tho and i wish life wasnt such a bitch to both of us lately 😡😡 im glad to hear u had fun on the trip!!!!! I got drenched last week as well bc my dumb ass forgot to bring an umbrella with me so im kind of sick ever since and its getting on my nerves 😭
thank you!! i am really fortunate that for the first time in my life, im interested in what im studying and im actually having fun in classes, so thats whats keeping me going tbh <3 also i think im slowly making new friends so i feel a bit better now :')
AHAHA VALID im only like a 30% astrology hoe i only know the very VERY basics. and omg youre a taurus!!!! my best friend is a taurus :) i seem to be getting a lot with tauruses AHAHA also aquariuses 😭 90% of the kpop scene is an aquarius so its very valid but i get it bc i am weak for them as well.
SEHUNS RAPS >>> also BRO my tiktok suddenly decided im in my exo-l era i keep getting exo tiktoks on my fyp and its so funny bc its so random but i also love it ???? 😭😭
i cant drive! 🥰 thats one of the main problems bc im supposed to have the driving exam in like 2 weeks and bro am i not doing well. i keep making stupid mistakes and im so scared im not gonna do it AHAHA here u can get your licence at 17! they let u drive with someone 18+ with at least 5(?) years of experience until you turn 18 and then u can drive on your own :) i actually waited longer to get my licence bc i was scared LMAO but its weird that at 19 i was the oldest in my course
SEND THOSE EXO MEMES ANY OTHER WAY PLEASE I AM IN NEED OF SOME FUNNY CONTENT. LITERALLY DM ME OR GET MY DISCORD I DO NOT CARE
college aus!! my weakness!! jungwoo and hyuck in sticker era 🥴🥴 but also 2 baddies jungwoo?? i lowkey think him and yuta are my 127 biases now if we exclude markhyuck bc im a devoted dreamzen LMAO
also THECABLESWERENTFINEISTILLTHINKABTITSOMETIMESANDIGETALITTLEFERALBUTALSOYESTHECOLORPALETTEFUCKIMSOCRAZYFORHIM
i did listen to the whole album but only in the bg as i was doing an assignment so i wasnt really paying 100% attention 😭😭😭 bUT designer has been on repeat its so good!!! other than that one i really enjoyed time lapse, gold dust and black clouds! Let me know which ones u like when u listen to it!!
I GOTTA LISTEN TO SEULGIS ALBUM AAAAAA i havent had the time to yet!!! but i did hear the title track on tiktok and the "i kiss your brother" is all i needed to hear to know that this will be lifechanging and i need to listen to it soon
I love you a lot! :) thank you for always finding time to come here and talk to me. take care and tell me all about how youve been next time!! hope you have a good week <3
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bluewinnerangel · 2 years
Note
whenever I think about louis and zayn's friendship I always remember my own friend (obvs idk too many details abt their friendship but from what I do know yk?) we were friends for 8years before everything fell apart, it was really complicated the way things went down and the worst thing was that it wasn't exactly our faults that everything happened the way it did, altho it was our faults that the giant ocean between us remained if not increased in size
we were so prideful, im confident it was one of the reasons that made it so hard for us to even speak abt it and even now 3 years later, we've only talked a couple times bc of work and running into each other thru other mutual friends
looking back on it there are some things I wish we didnt say to each other, I miss her deeply and she was always such a dear friend but the chasm between us feels so very big and so very deep and whilst I dont regret how everything went down I do still miss her and talking to her sometimes - its like these two very conflicting parts of me
i started thinking abt all this because shes getting married nxt yr and i (surprisingly) got an invite and im so incredibly grateful to have but i always imagined that i'd be her maid of honour yk? that I'd be one of the ppl designing these invites with her and panicking abt which flowers to get and telling her she looked beautiful in every dress she tired on, it feels so weird right now to be sitting here with her invite to the left of me as I type this, because we were that close and my throat is already closing up just thinking abt being there - it also reminds me of that one moment when an interviewer asked louis and zayn who their best man was gonna be and louis immediately looked at zayn - like that used to be me and her
i will say tho these invites make me very emotional because 5years ago when she had been with her now fiancee, less than half year we joked abt a wedding and we lowkey planned a half assed one, and the invites match the colour scheme (lavender and white and yellow I swear it looks nice i'd send a photo but it wont let me send the ask w/ one) and that could just be bc she liked it like we choose that together but im scared that there are gonna be sunflowers and gardenia's at the wedding I think i'll actually burst into tears if there are bc those were my idea and like i think it would look lovely!! and im defs not one of those 'i was saving that for my wedding!' or whatever it'd be lovely it'd just make me very emotional bc I literally remember the moment i suggested them and the way she looked so suspicious of it and I had to show her and its ingrained in my mind that memory - this is one of the friendships that quite literally shaped me, i've know her since i was 16 (so literally same as louis and zayn)
it just made me wonder if zayn will be invited to louis's wedding yk? and if he'll go thru the same emotions im going thru rn bc it feels like part of my heart is gone yet I feel this insane and deep happiness for her and how far shes come and whilst I've been watching from afar for so long i probably dont even know her anymore it still feels so weird to be going as smth other than next to her and i'll probably be sat at that table of old friends/ppl she hasnt seen in a while and it feels weird, very weird
im sorry for sending u this so randomly, u can defs 100 ignore it, bc its sooo damn long but i remembered ur zayn/louis post that nearly was and just had some thoughts - not that u ever hv to drop it or anything!! no pressure darling
Hey sorry I missed this ask when you sent this but I've read and digested it this morning and I just wanna say thanks for sharing, this is actually very relatable and made me tear up a little. I'm thinking of my 16yo self with my highschool BFF at the time with a friendship that didn't make it out of hs, my ex, very good friends for years that just drifted off once they got a partner, people I talked to every day for years and then not at all, people that moved away, the one that got away, or even people that just were completely toxic. It's different when they're still kinda in your life a little bit but at a distance because you can't really let it be the way it was I guess, dealing with that dynamic shift can really just fuck with your perception of those memories you have with them, but my mindset (in the end) is always that I'm grateful for the time we had, even if it ended horribly or they hurt me or I hurt them or just stopped caring about them for whatever reason, and you know still I'm just fond of the way they "enriched" my life? Idk how else to put it. And even when our relationship was nothing but positive but we still drifted apart for whatever reason I almost never have a need to try and pull them back into it either like I'm just.. grateful they were there at some point. And I'm content with that. For the time we had. Whatever happened, those good (or not even but.. granting life experience I guess let's put it that way) memories are still there. Same for people that are currently in my life, I want them here and I'm so so grateful that they wanna be here that they wanna share a bit of them with me but that's just.. it. Like I don't expect them to stay and this sounds horrible I'm also just not trying to make em stay? I'm just kinda like if you're along for my ride and I'm along for yours, good, if this choochoo mess uncouples detaches goes off to different stations then it was fun while it lasted. I'm not saying it's not a terrifying thought to part ways with for instance my partner for a decade that I still very much want in my life but these 10 years worth of memories and growing together no horrible conscious decoupling for whatever reason is gonna take that away from me, idk if this was an appropriate response but it's where my mind went hah
Another absolutely random thought but this made me think of me and my friend when we were maybe 14, and we told each other that if we were still single by 30 we'd marry each other. He got together with one of our other friends not long after and they married eventually (I'm talking a decade later). I don't talk to them anymore, it would be strange to go "hey congrats on getting married remember we said we'd marry each other hehe!" Ajakskskaka and yet still it's nothing but great looking that that was our friendship once.
Then for our dear zouis, its very hard to figure that out from a couple of interview moments and lyrics that might or might not be about something or not, the idea I have of them is thanks to some links in some of their songs that could be intentional, and it's pretty sad? But then again a song isn't an accurate reflection of every and all sides of a situation/relationship whatever. Will I ever post that leeeeeellll nobody knoowsss.
Oh the rambles.
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