#when I could just have posted glorious meaningful text

[lies]

[seasideretreat]

Idiocy

I like the English language, but I am not sure I like it. You know, the weird thing is that the English have a colourful culture but a drab language; the Dutch have a colourful language but a drab culture. I like writing in Dutch, because it is easy to create a very thick sound; in English, this is much more difficult; however, English can sound very rich and eloquent, but it takes much more imagination. An example: in Dutch, "Ik volsta met volledige uitbundigheid in de vrome veranderlijkheden van het leven." In English, "I suffice with full exuberance in the pious vicissitudes of life." I think the English sounds much drier and clumsier. Here's a sentence from Bertrand Russell: "The speculations of the past as to the reality or unreality of the world of physics were baffled, at the outset, by the absence of any satisfactory theory of the mathematical infinite." In Dutch: "De speculaties van het verleden betreffende de werkelijkheid of onwerkelijkheid van de wereld van de natuurkunde werden verbijsterd, reeds bij aanvang, door de afwezigheid van een bevredigende theorie van het wiskundig oneindige." Here there is little difference as to the sound of the sentences. I must admit it is a very dry text. Still, I can't think of expressive English. It all seems rather tired and cumbersome to me.

I could try to write a gracious English sentence. "Naturally, the folly of being oneself is off-set by the horrid deficiencies of quotidian existence." That's a stupid sentence. "The institution of a more refined religious order was founded on the learnedness of a few select gentlemen of great intellect." Also stupid. "No man escapes the clutches of old age, for time is the great equalizer; it is our fate to bow down to the progress of bodily and mental decay, for we are insignificant next to the glorious splendour of the Divine - a textual necessity that overpowers the senses and makes us pine for the revolutions of the greater wisdom of the truly doctoral men, who do what they can to improve the education of the everyman; and even though I have no qualities of my own, I beg God for forgiveness; there is a structure to the existence of the mean, and I am just a being amongst many others, but I try to think; I must think, for as long as there are beings in ignorance, because I may save them: the cogitation is the consideration of always-time, that transcends ordinal capacity in most ways, and makes us see the most high: so there." I guess we really can't speak proper English. The true calling of English is to be a neutral language amongst all the others, but we can't escape from its pragmatism, and its universality. People think English is easy, I don't think that's fair. I have no command over English, even though I have worked quite dilligently at it.

I don't want to say anything meaningful. Today was an almost perfect day. Yet here I am, writing. Writing is not bad, but it's late and I ain't got nothing to do, and I suppose I am just gonna be writing; whereas, if I had already written by blog-post for today, I could've been writing something else - something more important, perhaps - during this time, like a diary. Don't we all need a diary? I write a blog post every day; I reserve about three hours for it every day; that's a long time, so I figure I'd put them in the morning when I would otherwise be sleeping; that basically means I get up at eight, instead of eleven; now I really like sleeping out, just like I like eating bread late at night, but these are habits that you have to overcome, perhaps; at any rate, I am at a better point in my life right now, and I can start making these changes to my routine; I think it's pretty good when you think about it. I'll tell you something, in fact I believe I'd write all day long if I started writing early in the morning, I am pretty inspired most of the time, and I could write all day, but the thing is this damned blog, which is the core of my writing activity, takes up so much mental energy that I can't write much otherwise, but maybe I can if I have already done it early in the morning; and you know, I follow those light academia blogs and I figure it's nice and light academia to write in the morning; you know, sleeping out isn't necessary, certainly not every day; I dunno, I just really like it, but I will try getting up a little earlier tomorrow to write this frickin' blog, with a nice cup of coffee at my side; it'll be nice, but I ain't gonna set an alarm, I am not crazy, I am not gonna set an alarm on a free day! And you know, good writing is mostly thinking, I suppose; like when we are revising something or just pondering what to write next and skimming over the text pensively, that's all very nice and light academia, and we should cherish those things.

You know, in real academia they cherish concision above most other things, but there's nothing concise about the humanities for instance, and frankly I never felt like I was being very pithy when I was writing my thesis and all that; but I really miss university, even when I was in dire straights, you know, I was really unhappy during my Masters. An asshole I told this actually replied by saying that I should then remember that everybody's got it hard all the time - what an asshole! It my hard time! Certainly everybody's got it rough but we can have a hard time; certainly in hindsight you're not gonna say to someone his period wasn't rough; with the power of hindsight a man can certainly tell whether or not he had a hard time, and I tell you I was very unhappy during my Masters. You know, there were nice people everywhere but everybody seemed like a jerk to me. I just couldn't enjoy a moment of it, and I wasn't involved at all; be that as it may, it was a kind of interesting time in some peculiar ways, but on the whole it was just horribly wretched, and I wish I was in the state I was today during my college days; but you know, this is how it goes; and in many ways, my dad, in the years before he died, he really taught me how to count my blessings, you know? During those hard years; you know, better times have come, but I can still look back on those hard times and see the advantages I got, thanks to my dad; so in that sense he was a clever fellow. Anyway, my Masters. I keep trying to see some value in what I did, you know, I feel like you're not even allowed to say you worked hard; and I was so goddamned distracted all the time; but maybe I worked hard, I can't really tell. Yeah, my masters was so confusing. I went crazy during that time, you know? I am kind of pleased I didn't do a Masters in history, but Asian Studies really doesn't seem like much of a field, it's so damned unfocussed - I guess I still focussed on the history for the most part, you know, I could say I am a historian, but I resent that title. Anyway, they didn't really consider my writing to be very academic at the university - but I passed anyway, I guess because the content was good; before, my content was less good but the writing was better, I got a higher grade out of that; but I don't feel like I learned anything. And there's this saying, right? "Those who come to learn, learn nothing, those who come to teach learn a great deal." And I never taught anything I think. Still, that ain't quite true. You write your thesis as a kind of teaching. But I don't know what I learned. It was all so chaotic. You know, I can really read, you know, when I really have to; and intelligently, I can read between the lines; and I love reading a book ardently, you know? But it takes so much goddamn energy. You know, I reserve time to write, mostly because I enjoy writing, but yeah, I dunno. You know, I wanna read a book well, so that I can write better, that's the process. But there ain't no book really worth reading. I am reading A history of God by Karen Armstrong and it is a nice read, but I will not be reading it ardently; you know, these kinds of popular science books are more meant for passive knowledge, I'd say; you just read them and you remember what you remember; but there are books with subtle truths that you really have to read carefully; then you try to remember everything, I suppose, and nothing at the same time. The next book I want to read is Lipsius' On Constancy, and I suppose it would be ideal to read ardently: but it is a long book, and I don't have forever. The thing is I don't even want to read it half the time. There's so much to read. I read The Bible too. That's also vastly time-consuming, and not very rewarding; but The Bible is a guide in life, and everything you know about it is profit. Anyway, I was also reading a history book about Dutch history; and you know, you remember quite a bit from a good book, but I don't know what I want to remember, I just want to be a better scientist, but I don't know what my field is.

You know, I figured I could be a metaphysician, but that's the thing, there ain't much need for metaphysics, and it takes so much inspiration, you know? You just can't be a metaphysician most of the time. So yeah, I could write about Asia. That's my field, right? Asian Studies. But I don't want to write about Asia. You know, I just want to be learned; I love the humanities and I believe in the meaning of life probably and I am sure I could be a scholar, but I don't want to waste my life peddling idle knowledge that has no relevance, or something. You know, I am standing behind my desk, it's height-adjustable so I can stand behind my desk, it's pretty nice, because I have been sitting a lot today and I just lost a bit of vitality in that way. It's bad, but yeah, I don't know what to do most of the time, I don't really like reading all that much, and I can't really write most of the time because I don't want to spam the internet too much, you know I just want to provide nice dependable content that people can enjoy, but this is what I am saying, if I read a book at some point maybe I could write something that'll actually improve people's lives. You know, I am very interested in stoicism but the knowledge of stoicism is rather arduous, you know? Most people don't really see it as meaningful thought; there's something difficult about it, something problematic, and nobody knows what philosophy is supposed to do anymore; that's why I reserve room for metaphysics, but as I said, there ain't a whole of demand for that nowadays; you know, we just don't want any metaphysics; and it's all pretty weird anyway. You know, I don't know what the point of anything really is, I like writing and I suppose people'll like to read something that is more or less intentional and purposeful, you know, something that has a sense. But yeah, it's weird. I could've written something interesting today; you know, I just feel Asian Studies is such a tiresome field; you know, I just have nothing to say really, I feel like people'll just be glad to read something grammatical half the time; you know, even though I personally can't stand wasting time reading something long-winded; but you can just scroll through it, nobody forces you to read the whole thing, that's the benefit of writing over podcasts or something; but I can imagine someone will like just getting lost in one of these posts, accepting the verbiage and just being glad that there are words here, you know? That there is an author. You know what, reading is such a time-consuming activity; and that's why I post on Twitter as well; but I have more to say, I don't want to be limited to just a bunch of one-liners; this blog is my passion, I suppose; but yeah, as I said, I have to read more to write better, and I am just gonna keep writing this blog in this totally useless fashion that doesn't do anyone any good; it's just a jumble of words, maybe; but yeah, as I am saying, there's is an author here, who is writing something every day; you know, if I had an audience, I am sure someone would like it; it's like a column in a newspaper maybe, only more wordy; I dunno, it's just a pastime perhaps; you know, I don't see it is as a burden to keep this blog, it's probably the high-point of my day, but as I say, I wanna start writing in the mornings so that I can do other things during the rest of the day, you know, there's something very nice about just sitting around doing nothing all day, but yeah, getting up early is a wholesome thing as well, probably, you know, I don't know, maybe having regularity from day to day is nice, you know, a day when you sleep out till eleven o'clock is basically a day spend doing nothing, whereas if you wake up at eight, make a cup of coffee and really sit down and write something good, you have a productive day right off the bat. And it is light academia, a little bit. Anyway, I am not fooling anyone, taking a bunch of courses at uni is not going to make you a learned man, I really have to read a book, I am thinking Lipsius' On Constancy.

I am in a good place right now and I could really make it work. You know, I love studying, but the key to studying is making a precise border between the material and the excogitation. The material is really pointless, you don't have to know it at all, but you should still read it as best you can, because otherwise you won't pass and all that, and you won't have learned anything (which can cause a wide range of problems in your life). The excogitation, however, is when you stay frosty at the test, actually read the questions, let go of everything you've learned and come up with genius answers. That ain't easy, but if you've done the reading you will probably succeed, but you really need to be able to think and pay attention, I dunno, I just had some really bad experiences at tests, you know, I am not really that good at learning. You know, I like it when people say I am smart, I hate it when they say I am good at learning, because they can't know that; but you can kind of tell someone is smart, I think, just by what they say I suppose, and maybe by their actions. Anyway, I am excogitating superbly these days, but I ain't reading. Well, I am reading, and that's pretty good, but I am not reading ardently, I don't have a handbook, you know, whereas that is very important, maybe, to have, a nice handbook, but as I said, there ain't no good books. Of course, I could be reading Seneca and Cicero and maybe even Aristotle, but I wouldn't be reading them ardently, you see, because they are no handbooks, just feeble texts that we have to read; because this is what it is, the state of the art has moved forward tremendously since antiquity, and we can't rely on old learning anymore, although probably in the humanities people still rely on old learning for many things, mostly Aristotle, because those names still carry a lot of weight, and maybe a lot of people in the humanities aren't really all that smart. This is what I hated about university: the staff think they're really smart, but they're really not, they've just blindly accepted the reality of the university, that is quoting from a bunch of convoluted books and writing dense prose that nobody wants to read. However, it seems there isn't really any real humanities anymore; you know traditions were always very important for the humanities, but tradition is a weak thing, just like modernity; and obviously, the humanities only really had stature in the days of religion, when they were still the harbinger of true progress. But we've secularized the universities, but the humanities can never fully secularize. I am just thinking: what can you do with Asian Studies? You know, do I know Asia? To think: does a student of English know England? Obviously, the question of Asia is a factual question; the question of Asian Studies is a cognitive question. What have I learned studying Asian Studies? Mostly the centrality of religion in our thinking lives. But that's an easy answer. You know, secular knowledge. Is that a thing? I don't know. It could be. I don't know, I suppose this is just something I'll have to find out in time.

[felassan]

Jon Renish (Foundation Technical Director @ BioWare, working on DA4) recently did a Twitch stream where he played through some DAO. Although he works on DA, this is his first time playing through DAO. He’s playing through it looking at random details from a dev perspective as he’s currently working on DA4 and therefore wants to know more about the previous games.

On the stream he mentioned some tidbits on the development of DA4. There were also some insights and anecdotes about the development of DAO and similar. It’s a 3 hour stream so I collected them here in case that’s of use to anyone (for example not everyone can watch streams which don’t have subtitles/captions). The stream is a fun/interesting watch though, so if you’re curious or able to watch I recc doing so. 😊 The rest of this post is under a cut for length.

Please note that there’s some paraphrasing on my part, this is not a transcript.  There are also some additions from another dev who featured on the stream to give some commentary. The stream also contains more snippets that at times I couldn’t make out (I tried my best!).

(There is a mention of Cullen’s VA in the text below.)

DA4

Jon said he can talk about things about DA4 that aren’t “consumer-facing”, but he can’t say anything about the game that would be consumer-facing but which isn’t already publicly available. There are several reasons for this. One, that’s not his job, there are people whose job this is and they let each other do their respective roles. Two, BW are a publicly-traded company, so if he said something that could affect that that would be insider trading. Three, they’re not done making DA4 yet, so if he said that they have added [x] to the game and people got all excited about that or pre-ordered on that basis, but [x] ended up being cut, people would be like ‘BioWare lied to us’, when it’s just that things changed during the course of development, as is often the case

He’s glad that fans are excited for the game but notes that fan expectations are always double-edged. It can be really tough as some people started ‘playing’ the game in their heads as soon as they heard of it. That’s fine, he loves that, but he hopes that peoples’ expectations don’t turn into requirements. Clearly BW have alluded to certain characters, like Solas, being in the game, but some fans say things like “If [say] Morrigan isn’t in the game, then, rahhh!” Y’know, there’s a lot of talk about how certain characters have to be in the game, and yeah.

On characters which are quantum (i.e. characters which can die or which can have similar end-states as death in previous games): their being quantum makes it really hard for the devs to work with those characters in subsequent games. The devs naturally aren’t going to put as much effort into characters which could have died previously. A character can have had an amazing appearance throughout/role in a previous game, but if there is a risk of something happening to them and of them being removed [effectively] from the plot, it just doesn’t make sense to have them as a major character in a subsequent game. If a character can, say, sacrifice themselves in some glorious ending, the devs have to make sure that if they use them again, in worldstates where the character didn’t do that, the character is kind of ‘muted’, as the devs don’t want to disrespect the players who made a different choice

A comment in chat expressed a wish for Shale in DA4. Jon’s response is that he has no idea on that front

Bugs don’t come out of crunch, they come out of development in general. Crunch does impact on the quality of a game though. In recent years BW are always really trying to reduce crunch, they’re currently working really hard to bring it down. The best way of doing that is by controlling scope. As creatives it’s tough to balance wanting to make great stuff and be industry-leading with the desire to constantly do extra passes over things they’ve created like the audio, art etc. Their biggest enemy is time, other ways of reducing crunch or time spent in general include iterating tools to make often-repeated processes as time-efficient as possible

I think the following was an observation on the industry in general as opposed to a BW-specific/-exclusive comment: he thinks that as a result of this sort of thing [working to reduce crunch], a lot of games are going to have to be smaller and a lot more focused in scope i.e. the devs will have to focus on hitting the key selling points of that particular game/series as hard as they can, and cut down on branching out sideways/wide on a bunch of random other stuff

Jon doesn’t personally engage in character creators in games, but he knows that for some players that expression is worth a lot of time and focus. BW want to be industry-leading in this kind of stuff as it’s something which is interesting/key/integral to their games

In a way BW have made their own nest of problems what with every DA game being so different to the previous one. Still, he notes that each game has a staunch fanbase that says that their particular favorite game is the best one in the series

He doesn’t want people who think that DA4 isn’t what they want to buy it and be upset - there are so many other great games out there! BW are going to make the game they’re going to make - if some people like it, that’s great, and if some people don’t, that’s cool. Sometimes waiting until reviews are out and/or really seeing beforehand if a game is something that you want [has things/features in it that you want] prior to getting it - as opposed to jumping right in or pre-ordering - is a good idea. Fans don’t always know what they want, but they do know what they like - these are 2 different things

He hopes that whatever they ship for DA4, people go “I enjoyed this experience”, and that then, if there’s additional content for it down the road, people can decide, “do I want this further content?”

On hair: BW are using the new hair technology in the latest version of the Frostbite engine, so they’ll see what they can do! This was said in response to a comment about the hair in the latest FIFA games (as EA make FIFA)

A comment in chat asked about a flying mechanic (griffons). Jon’s response is that flying is such a heavy gameplay mechanic that you can’t put it in a game without everything in the game being built about it (see Anthem)

Relating to the above comment, in DA4 mounted combat would be cool but then they’d have to make the game ‘around’ mounted combat and make the mounted combat feature meaningful

On the underwater concept art: it should not be interpreted as a promise of gameplay. BW have amazing artists who sit down for a couple weeks while they’re in early production and just draw loads and loads of all kinds of stuff. Concept art is like a moodboard or Pinterest board. Elsewhere in the stream he advised, take all the concept art together like a mosaic and ask, ‘what is the overall theme[s] here?’, and to zoom out from individual details. [This stuff echoes PW’s word on concept art]

BW don’t generally write things or the choices as bleak as the choices in DAO were anymore. This is a conscious choice on their part, they want their game to be fun [note: this was said when the side quest in Orzammar where the Warden has the option of convincing a dwarven mother to abandon her young baby to die was being played through. It seems to refer to intensively grimdark choices/beats of this kind]

I think this was more of a general comment on games: SSDs (solid state drives) mean that players will see shorter elevator rides (Mass Effect - was this a reference to the remaster?) and fewer switchback corridors (those are actually loading zones). Generally, these are going to change mechanically the time it takes to do stuff in games

The devs have lots of features on their backlog that they’d like to offer players but each will ofc involve implementation and subsequent maintenance, and each one that is chosen to add is being chosen over something else. And sometimes, it’s hard for them to tell if [x] feature or [y] feature would be better to add to the game

They’re about to work on a giant feature (a pure tooling feature, something that isn’t consumer-facing) that is probably going to take ~2 staff years of effort [I think “staff effort” includes multiple staff working concurrently, so 2 years of staff effort doesn’t = 2 years of time chronologically] to get done in the next few months. They’re investing all this effort across the people working on it because they don’t want their artists and designers etc to have to deal with the problem that it’s going to solve anymore. I’m not sure what this feature is but elsewhere in the stream they referred to tooling and automation and gave the example of, the better your tooling is, the fewer times you have to manually set the camera for a human vs elf vs dwarf position, for dynamically-generated [cinematic?] content and for the first pass to be automated (if this is the case, less time is spent/wasted on redoing it and manually touching it up) [see last bullet point in this section]

He doesn’t know how big DA4 is going to be but said “let’s ballpark and say like most games it’ll be somewhere between 70 and 100 GB”

If we kept our Wardens as the PC throughout all 3 games, at the end they would be so powerful that it’d be a bit like “Let’s just do [thing], I’ve killed gods before, whatever”. He thinks it’s good that they have fresh characters each time in DA in order to reset that power level. Some people want more Commander Shepard in the next Mass Effect and he feels like, ‘what else could you possibly want / what else could that character possibly do after 3 games?’

When asked how much freedom he/they have now to focus on next gen, he said that there’s actually almost no difference on that front. The problems never change. They now have better renderers, better ray-tracing, better graphics cards etc, but they have always made DA games for high- and low-spec PCs, so it’s actually about gameplay systems. The freedom isn’t power-based and them getting access to more cores and more RAM generally isn’t going to change how the games are played. The games still have to be made for hard drives on PC. Dev creativity matters more than power here. The challenge of building a BW game is more about/from managing loads of different plotstates, loads of different art pieces, etc

On the title situation (two): names are the last thing they worry about because names have to go through legal before being approved. Every name, including character names, has to be checked in case it’s a famous person, or associated with something bad, or offensive in a different language due to localization etc

They don’t do face scans of people with big beards

There was also a bit about changes/developments to/in the cinematic design process and associated tooling [?] but I found it too hard to follow sorry >< This bit of commentary begins at timestamp ~ 1:52:45 and continues til ~ 2:00:05 [keep listening through the bit where they pause for a cutscene]

General BW

There’s currently ~350 staff in Edmonton, ~200 in Austin and more elsewhere

He notes that DA games sell pretty well, but relative to EA games in general, they’re a drop in the bucket compared to FIFA

DAI

5% of players of DAI never created a character [Q: does this refer to people who just used the default appearances/presets with no editing, or people who only played multiplayer?]

The mounts don’t actually go faster than running, this is an illusion

I think they said it has 55,000 lines of dialogue. [I’m pretty sure I remember devs elsewhere saying it has 80,000 lines of dialogue]

One of the companions had to have their name changed during development because of legal/translation reasons. It sounds like the original name sounded too close to something offensive

DA2

Back when DA2 was internally code-named “Nug Storm”: this was at the beginning when it was pitched to the team on a set of slides. The image on the slide for that pitch had devil horns, a metal hand and no flesh, it was just made out of fire and flames

DAO

The engine DAO is made on is the third engine that they tried for it during development. [David Gaider has gone into the DAO engine stuff some on Summerfall’s series of DAO playthrough streams]

The cracks on the cracked eluvian asset are modelled after the crack on the Tardis in Doctor Who from around that time, as at the time some devs had been talking about Doctor Who a lot. A dev actually added this factoid to DAO’s entry on TV Tropes but someone else (evidently not a DA dev) came by and deleted it saying that it was too much of a stretch x)

Before the game had its name there was an HTML script that randomly generated possible titles for consideration, it adds verbs and nouns together e.g. “Grim Dark”. One of the craziest possibilities that it once generated that the devs always remember is "Bone Wind”

One of the portraits that’s used for decoration around the world in-game (it’s of a bearded human man) is actually of a specific BW staff member

He played through Stone Prisoner, where Wilhelm’s son Matthias gives exposition in the cellar. Matthias is voiced by GE and this had been pointed out to Jon earlier on. Jon: “I don’t think that character’s voice acting was super strong there”

On the in-game area towards the end of Stone Prisoner: Outdoor areas in games are large and one of the things needed for them is streaming, so different chunks can be ‘streamed in’. There’s a tower [?], and technically the top of the tower was made an outdoor level so that sky stuff could be there, though it didn’t really need to be. The person that made it an outdoor level chose the very smallest chunk size for the terrain mesh, which determines how fine of a streaming they do. So when playing, every time you moved like 4 meters, the game would stream out 50-100 chunks behind you and the same in front of you (this is the bubble around the player of what actually exists). Because it was so small, it was constantly thrashing the CPU and disc to do all the loading. The devs were like “this isn’t going to work”, but they barely had any time. The solution: they made a new level that was outdoor and copied all the sunlight and other settings, but with the largest chunk size. They copy-pasted the entire level from one to the other. The problem with that many chunks then is that there was a giant expanse of flat terrain sticking out of the middle of the tower. They didn’t know if the story was going to involve shots of the outside of the tower for this sequence or not, so they took the terrain deformation tool and bundled all the terrain vertices at the bottom of the tower in a giant clump. So to this day there’s a mess of vertices and twisted terrain at the bottom of the final level that probably no-one has ever seen [not sure though if this anecdote is in reference to a place in that DLC or somewhere elsewhere in the game?]

There were also some tidbits on Anthem, however I didn’t note them down (sorry).

If you think I misheard or misunderstood anything from this stream please let me know and I will edit/fix it. :) 

(Thankyou to some of my friends who explained a tech detail from this to me.)

[source]  <-- current rewatch link

[shinjekinootp]

The Angry Coffee Shop

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Levi/Eren Yeager Tags: Platonic Hange Zoë & Levi, Based on a Tumblr Post, Drunk Sleepy cute Levi, Domestic Fluff, Mainly focused on Drunk Brootp Levihan, With some cute Ereri in the background Summary:  Eren comes back late from work to an unusual scene. Levi passed out on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles, spilled chips, and a notebook reading: Flat white: Fuck you 

*based on the Angry Coffe Shop meme from Tumblr*

You can read it here or on AO3

“Ugh, I’m so thirsty.”

Levi rolls his eyes “You’re literally in a coffee shop, just get yourself something to drink.”

“Not that kind of thirst dummy. I’m thirsty for booze. Customers have been complete assholes today. I need to get shitface. For my mental health.”

“That does sounds pretty good,” he says, giving a final sweep to the counter. “Your place or my place?” Hanji doesn’t get the chance to reply before Levi is speaking again. “Let’s go to mine. The shithole you dare to call an apartment is dirty enough when you expect me to come over.”

Forty-five minutes later, they are sitting on Levi’s couch, a glass of red wine in their hands, the coffee table crawling under various snacks.

“Sometimes I wonder how we make it through the day without murdering anyone,” Hanji begins. “How hard can it be to order a drink without being a pain in the ass? You wait in line for your turn, order something from the board, pay, and wait patiently for it to be ready.”

“Erwin doesn’t pay us nearly enough to deal with those shit head all days,” Levi agrees. He empties his glass and pours himself a new one. He makes the red liquid swirl and takes a sip of it. He savors the bitter taste, as Hanji digs into a bag of chips.

I swear to god, if I found any crumble on my floor-”

“Yea I know, you’ll make me lick it until it’s clean again,” they dismiss him, taking a handful of doritos.

“And clean it with bleach right after. Spit is gross.”

Hanji laughter fills the room. “Where’s pretty boy uh? I thought he’d be here.”

“I don’t know. Probably still at work” He looks at his phone, and sure enough there is a text from Eren informing him he’s staying overtime and not to wait for him.

“Let’s play a game!” Hanji suddenly screams.

Levi frowns “No strip poker this time. I don’t think I can take the sight of you wearing nothing but your glasses one more time. Plus I had to get rid of my rug after you dirty  butt sat on it.”

“I will let you know my butt is very clean. Petra can vouch.”

A giggle escapes Levi’s lips. Under normal circumstances he would be concerned by that. But with the alcohol running through his veins, his clouded mind doesn't care.

“So the game is simple. We both tell a story about a bitchy customer we had, and the one who has encountered the biggest prick wins.”

Levi tilts his head to the side.“Isn’t that basically complaining, though? We’re already doing it all the time. That’s hardly a game.”

Hanji is thoughtful for a moment before they clap their hand victoriously “I know! Each time one of us wins a round; they have to take a shot. That should spice things up.”

“Alright” Levi says, slumping to the ground and reaching for the bottle, a smirk on his lips “Game on then.”

Hanji laughter echoes through the room as they struggle to form words. “This- This is priceless, how come you’ve never told me about it before?”

“Didn’t want to risk Erwin hearing about it,” he downs his shot in one swift motion, barely grimacing as the liquid burn his throat.“It’s not like I’m actually the manager.”

Hanji rolls on their back, as a new fit of laughter shakes their body. “I would give anything, to see the lady’s face when you’ve spun around.”

“It was quite the sight to behold,” he refills his glass, while Hanji straightens up their glasses threatening to fall of their nose.

“Once I had this lady coming in, she kept stressing out how important it was that her drink was dairy free -and I get it, lactose intolerance is a pain in the ass- she was watching my every move like a hawk. When I handed her her drink, she freaking asked me why I didn’t put whipped cream on top of it. I had to explain her that yes, whipped cream contains dairy, but she would not believe me. I ended up putting a shit ton on top of her damn frappuccino and I hope she got diarrhea from it.”

“What a bitch” Levi snorts.

“Alright your turn, what do you have in stock?”

He hums thoughtfully, distractingly playing with a the edge of a pillow.

“They were this one time, when a girl went batchit crazy on me for drawing a heart in her latte. She screamed at me that she had a boyfriend, and that she was so fed up with men hitting on her.”

“Did you? Drew a heart in her latte I mean.”

“No, I did draw something, but it was not a heart. Not from my perspective that is.”Levi smirks amusement glinting into his eyes.

Hanji seems confused for a split second before they exclaim.“Oh my god Levi! Did you draw an ass in that girl drink?”

“I most certainly did,” he replies with a toothy grin. “It was the day when Eren came back from his family trip. All I could think about was that glorious ass of his.”

“You’re the worst.”

Levi shrugs and slides a shot towards them before pouring one for himself. “That’s a draw,” he solemnly declares.

They empty their glasses and sigh contentedly almost in perfect synchronization.

“You know what really is the worst kind of customer ?” Hanji hiccups.

He raises a thin eyebrow at them.

“Those who are unable to remember the name of the drinks. If they got their orders wrong, it’s not my problem. Learn to fucking read you moron!”

“I couldn’t remember the name of the drink when I began,” Levi giggles.“Eren had to help me study the menu. He even made cards and all that shit.”

They shake their head “You’re a lucky idiot you know that?”

Levi nods. He does know how lucky he is to have a boyfriend like him.

“In my defense,” he begins“the name of the drinks makes zero sense. Why did Erwin have to go for the fancy hipster shit name? ‘large black’ that’s easy to remember. But Americano? Frappuccino? Freaking Macchiato? It gives zero clue about what the drink actually is.”

“That’s how they’re called,” Hanji looks at him skeptically  “That’s pretty standard actually.”

“Well, the standard sucks.” Levi says, slamming his fist on the table.

“What would you call them then?” They ask, eyes glinting in amusement.

“I dunno,” Levi frowns.“Something meaningful.”

They tilt their head to the side.“Like what? It’s not like you could describe the recipe of the drink. That would be way too long.”

He reaches for the bag of chips, and munches slowly. Hanji observes him pulling his eyebrows together, creating small line between them. He’s so deep in thoughts he doesn’t notice them snatching a picture of what they consider to be an ‘Accidentally cute Levi.’

“Hangover,” he blurts out.

“We certainly will be tomorrow, but don’t worry we still have time.”

“No,” he throws the bag of chips out of his lap, spilling it on the ground.“The name of the drink, it should be Hungover.”

“Lemme guess, a strong black coffee?”

“Triple espresso of the less bitter coffee we have,” He grins.

They smile cheerfully.“What else do you have?”

“I’m Studying For My Finals. Double espresso with a dash of vanilla. Because you both need energy and comfort.”

“Why not make it a triple, though?”

Levi shakes his head.“Because when studying for their final, student drink coffee all day. With a double they can still get that energy shot multiples time a day without intoxicating themselves. Also, it’s refillable.”

“This is good!” Hanji shouts excitedly. They scramble up to their feet and run to their bag, pulling out a notebook. “Alright keeps going, we gotta keep track of this.”

“Babe?” Eren calls upon entering the apartment. Despite the late hour, he knows Levi isn’t asleep. He goes in the living room, expecting him to be sitting on the couch, tucked into a blanket, enjoying a his tea. But instead he’s met with what looks like a warzone. Two empty bottles of wine, one who has rolled up to the ground, another bottle of what looks like tequila, empty for the most part, chips, chips everywhere, on the table, on the carpet, on the couch, and finally Levi, sleeping peacefully on the ground, crumbs all over his hair.

“What the fuck,” Eren whispers to himself. He walks up to Levi and picks the notebook next to him. It reads:

Large Americano: Not A Morning Person

Tea: The Only Valid Drink

Flat White: Fuck You

Vanilla soy latte no foam extra shot: I’d Like To Speak To The Manager

Double espresso with vanilla sirup: Studying For My Final

Iced coffee: Hoe Never Gets Cold

Pumpkin spice latte: Spooky Season

Latte, extra shot: Stayed Up Too Late Looking At Memes

Peppermint latte: Basic Bitch

“Hey Eren!”

The cheery voice of Hanji interrupts his reading.

“Hey,” he tentatively greets them.“What’s going on ? And what is this?” He asks shaking the notebook in his hand.

“Just a thing for a work,” they say, wiggling their eyebrows mysteriously.

“So, you’re telling me, this was a work meeting?”

“Guess you could put it like that,” They chuckle.“I was just about to clean up. Would you take care of sleepy-head over here?” They point at Levi with their chin.

It’s Eren’s turn to laugh. “You cleaning, and Levi passing out. That’s a first.”

He bends down and gently dusts the crumbs off Levi’s hair, before carrying him to their bedroom.

“They don’t know what's awaiting them,” Levi mumbles, as he undresses him.

“Hum what was that? What’s awaiting who?”

“Karen, Margaret, Susan and all the other.”

“Alright babe,” he chuckles.“Go get them.”

He makes sure Levi is well tuck in, and not at risk at falling off bed. He makes a move to leave, but a hand on his forearm stops him.

Levi cracks a lid open “Stay.”

“Are you sure it’s safe to leave Hanji alone in the living room?”

“Hmph, what are they gonna do? It’s already a mess anyway,” he tucks on his arm, nearly yanking him off his feets.

“Alright, alright,” Eren surrenders. He quickly takes off his shoes and clothes, throwing them in a corner of the room. As soon as he lies down, Levi rolls to his sides, resting his head on his chest. He’s already drifting back to sleep, soothed by the hand gently stroking his hair.

“Good morning! What can I get you?”

“Flat white. Large. Quickly, I’m in a hurry.”

“Fuck you,” Hanji says, a shit eating grin on their face.

“Excuse you?” The woman says, outrage evident in her voice. “What did you just say to me?”

“Fuck You,” They repeat, their smile growing impossibly wide. “That’s the name of the drink you’ve order.”

A displease frown appears on the woman face. “I’d like to speak to the manager.”

“Sure thing, Coming right up!” They grab a cup. “May I have a name?” The woman stares at her, confusion written all over her face. “I bet it’s Sharon,” they say writing it down. “You look like a Sharon.”

Hanji turns around, and quickly prepares the drink. The woman said she was in a rush after all.

“Here you go! That’ll be $5 please.”

“What is this?”

“What you’ve order Ma’am. A Vanilla soy latte with  no foam and extra shot.” They answer with a mischievous smile.

“I didn’t order this,” she nearly shouts. “Are you deaf? I said that I’d like to speak to the manager!”

“Yea… that’s the name of the drink Ma’am.” They point at the board above their head.

Her face reddens as she opens her mouth, but Hanji cuts her off before she has the chance to speak.

“You better go now, Sharon. You’re holding the line.”

The woman furiously slaps a $5 bill on the counter, and stalks away.

Levi blinks, mouth hanging agape.“That was amazing,” he fights the urge to claps.

“Thank you, thank you. But you nearly deserve all the credit. You’re the one that came up with this idea.”

“How did you get Erwin’s approval?” he asks incredulity in his voice.

“Eh, well, I didn’t,” they answer, rubbing the back of their neck. “I just came in early and re-write the boards.”

Levi shakes his head, chuckling. Of course Hanji would do that without their boss permission. “Guess I’ll have a new co-worker by the end of the week then.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that short-stuff.” A devilish smile on their face Hanji takes out their phone. “See one of the ‘soccer moms’ I’ve served this morning wasn’t too happy with our new menu. So she took the whole story to twitter and even made a petition to close up the place.” They slide their phone on the counter.“And it blew up! But not in the way she expected. Everyone is loving the idea. The so-called ‘angry coffee shop’ is the new place to be! We’ve been packed with customers all day.”

“Speaking of which, some help would be much appreciated Hanji!” A panicked voice calls from behind them.

“Don’t worry Moblit. You got this!” They say waving their hand dismissively at him. They focus back on Levi and frown. “What’s wrong Levi? I thought you would be happy.”

He raises his head from his hand and whispers, eyes wide “We’re gonna have to deal with even more customers.”

[themilitantbaker]

SUCK IT FLAT TUMMY: WHY MARKETING EATING DISORDERS TO "BABES" IS HARMFUL AF

If this billboard strikes you as vaguely familiar, it's likely because you either saw something similar last month while in Times Square or read about the colossal internet controversy it’s generated since.

The original billboard (photographed by Sophie Vershbow) hosts a smiling model's face—placed in one of one of the world's most visited tourist attractions—holding two lollipops with the text "Got Cravings? Girl, Tell Them To #SUCKIT!" bookending her grin on a trendy, Millennial Pink background. This advertisement belongs to Flat Tummy Co., a business which, in addition to selling "tummy flattening" tea and smoothies, seems to delight in calling consumers "babes" as often as possible. In May, they launched and quickly began peddling their new “Appetite Suppressant Lollipops” or—if we were to stop mincing words—eating disorders for just $49 per month.

The pushback against these lollipops—and this billboard in particular—has been both widespread and thunderous. Pushbacks have ranged from a Change.org petition demanding its removal signed by close to 100,000 people to dozens of articles pointing out how encouraging customers to not eat adds to the already pervasive issue of eating disorders that affect approximately 70 million people worldwide

When you take into consideration that:

80% of ten-year-old girls in the US have already been on a diet

These same young girls are more afraid of becoming “fat” than they are of cancer, war, or losing both of their parents

91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting (even though only 5% of these women naturally have the "ideal body" represented in American media)

Diets in general easily lead to pathological dieting and then continue to progress into dangerous eating disorders (which are largely underdiagnosed from the start)

Eating disorders don't just affect cisgender women but all races, ages, sexes and genders(essentially, everyone) AND that

Eating disorders kill at least one person nearly every single hour...

… those who rail against Flat Tummy Co. have every right to be appalled. This type of advertising campaign isn't casually controversial; it's deadly.

Here's what companies like Flat Tummy Co. will never tell you, so I will: We are born with an inherent connection between our minds and our bodies—a glorious communication channel that is then systematically stripped away by our ubiquitous diet culture.

The solution to this monumental problem is NOT to suppress cravings or our appetite; this not only causes mental and physical harm, but also perpetuates the cycle of internal disconnection. Rather, the solution is to relearn how to trust ourselves and how to listen to what our bodies are telling us they need—to slowly rebuild the beautiful relationship with our bodies and brains. A relationship that was intentionally removed by companies who profit from a $66 billion dollar weight loss industry.

In light of everything mentioned above, I'd like to offer an antidote to this Baffling Billboard Bullshit.

If we are going to be posting advice-dispensing billboards that start with, "Got Cravings? Girl, ...", here’s what they could say:

The backlash against Flat Tummy Co. and their marketing choices isn't new by any means. Before the arrival of the infamously damaging billboard, preexisting criticism intensified almost a month earlier when Kim Kardashian West endorsed the newly launched lollipops.

Kim Kardashian West is, for the record, the "Top 7th Influencer" in the country and 14th largest influencer in the world, with over 114 million followers on Instagram. It's important to point out that more than 77% of her followers are under 25 and if you're wondering why this particular percentage matters, simply read on my friend. It definitely matters.

A not so fun fact: 95% of people with eating disorders are between 12 and 25. With some simple math, we can quickly deduce that, with every image she posts, Kim reaches more than 87 million people within that high-risk age bracket—87 million people who "coincidentally" are  the most vulnerable demographic when it comes to disordered eating and body image issues.

It's almost as if the CEO of the company that owns Flat Tummy Co., Jack Ross, stood in his office one day and thought, "Hmmm ... I wonder how we can cause the MOST harm to a group of people who are already the most vulnerable? ... Oh, I know, Lollipops. And let's be sure to hire Kim Kardashian to tell her young followers that they're ‘literally unreal'!"

I don't actually know who developed the lollipop pitch; but regardless, I'll be the first to acknowledge that this calculated collaboration was a powerful and brilliant business decision that hit consumers with alarming accuracy.

I also will remind you (repeatedly if necessary) that these types of sponsorships are potentially fatal to the millions of young people who inadvertently receive this dangerous messaging while scrolling through their feeds—messaging that easily could stay with them the rest of their lives.

In short and if we were to use their words?

Suck it, Flat Tummy.

When I invited the "girls" (or "babes," take your pick!) to model in these “antidotal” replacement ads, I asked them one simple question before they arrived for the photo shoot: "What is your favorite food?" The question, shown clearly throughout the images, was answered very differently by each person, but I adored the enthusiasm that it was met with by all.

I was intentional in both asking this question and in leaving it open-ended—I wanted to offer the opportunity for each person to check in with herself without limitations. Being inquisitive about what we enjoy, want or need when it comes to food is not only culturally uncommon, but discouraged (see toxic lollipop campaign mentioned above).

Hunger, also known as cravings, is our body's fundamental way of communicating that we need to eat— that we need food and nutrients to function. Food can serve other purposes as well, like addressing meaningful mental needs that we often disregard as frivolous. How I wish we would stop insisting on treating mental and physical health separately when they couldn’t be more connected!

Our cultural norm may encourage deprivation, restriction and dissociation, but it’s important that you know that there is a brilliant alternative—often referred to as Intuitive Eating.

This holistic substitute prioritizes the individual and encourages the practice of making peace with food, respecting our emotions and honoring our bodies’ unique needs. Relearning how to approach food after dedicating the majority of my life to following diets is (still!) hard as hell. But I've come to find that the road to recovering from diet culture is more than worth it.

Fortunately, there are more and more educational resources available every day to support intuitive eating, flexibility and body trust!

I highly recommended these 12 starting places if you happen to be looking for a more comprehensive and balanced way to approach health.

There is power in educating ourselves about how our bodies work and what they need, and then deciding how to best work towards understanding and respecting their requests. There is power in making decisions based on what is ideal for you, not what is best for someone else. There is power in looking at an eating disorder waiting to happen, packaged as a stylish piece of candy and saying “Hell. No.”

I am SO ready for this to become the new norm.

You are welcome to join in on the fun!

We would love to see a picture of you enjoying your favorite food (or whatever you're currently craving!) with the hashtag #SuckItFlatTummy!

You are also welcome to stay current on other cool conversations alongside an awesome group of bad-asses that all hang out here.

P.S. Flat Tummy Co., if you ever decide you'd like to rectify your billboard mistake and host something healing instead of harmful... I've got plenty of images you're welcome to use.

[coolbirthdaywishes]

Birthday Wishes for Women | Glorious Wishes

Birthday Wishes for Women Quotes and Wishes to wish happy birthday in a special way

We have prepared most heart touching Birthday Wishes for Women and Birthday Wishes For A Black Woman to wish birthday in a special way. Birthdays are the one time a year when you can spend the whole day celebrating your loved ones. This year, use the perfect Birthday Wishes for Women to help her to have the greatest day of the year!  Choose Birthday Wishes for Women Memes that honor them with words of unconditional love, caring and appreciation. There are lot of latest and unique Birthday Wishes for Women, Happy Birthday Greetings, Birthday Cards, Happy Birthday Quotes and Happy Birthday Covers on our website Coolbirthdaywishes.com When it’s Loved one's birthday, sharing some words of love and gratitude is the nicest thing we can do, whether we are going to be by her side or not. Alternatively, especially if distances are too long to be covered, we can share heart touching Birthday Wishes for Women with her. By saying Birthday Wishes For Friend Woman, you can show Her how much you appreciate what they does and how much you lovethem. Your Loved one deserves a birthday that is as fun and amazing as they are, so use 50th Birthday Wishes For Woman to give her the best celebration! You may also like: GenerateStatus – Make Fake Instagram Posts and Twitter Tweets.

Happy Birthday Wishes for Woman

One wish is simply not enough to express how I feel, so instead, I give you a hundred wishes so that you get everything you could hope for this birthday.

The day you came into my life was the day that changed mine forever. So, this year, I wish for even more time together with the greatest person I know.

The world is a far better place with you in it. Wishing you a Happy Birthday, and I thank you for letting me be a part of it.

No woman is as accomplished, caring, selfless, and warm-hearted as you. On this special day, I hope you feel half of what you send out to the world every day.

You’re always in my thoughts and in my heart, but on this day, even more so. I hope you stay healthy, blessed, and celebrate all day long.

Another momentous year is upon us, and I’m forever grateful to be by your side for this day and for many years to come.

Today is your big day, so make sure it’s filled with everything YOU want to do. If anyone deserves a day all about them, it’s someone as incredible as you.

To my dear friend, every moment with you has been a time filled with fun and love. I wish you always know just how happy you make me and everyone else around you. I love you and have a wonderful day.

Best wishes to the most magnificent woman in my life. I hope this message brings that stunning smile to your face.

Without you, my life wouldn’t be as complete. Thanks for simply being you, and I wish you nothing but the best on this year’s annual celebration.

To my best friend and soulmate, you’re the greatest blessing one could have. I wish for our love to continue to grow strong.

A beautiful soul like yours deserves recognition every day, but for this special day, I wanted to say just how grateful I am to be filled with your love and care.

For years, we’ve been each other’s person. I hope that never changes. Love you, and wishing you all the best on this incredible day.

Hope this day gives you time to unwind and finally relax. It’s about time we all remind you just how cherished and loved you are.

  Happy Birthday Texts for Her

Sometimes the best, most meaningful wishes are sent in a simple text message.

Today is your special day, and don’t let anyone forget it.

It’s that time of the year again. Let’s make this celebration one we’ll never forget, okay?

Happy Birthday to the most remarkable, gorgeous woman I know.

Wishing you nothing but happiness and excitement.

Sending love to my favorite person on her special day. Here’s to another great year!

Time is precious, so I’ll keep this short: Happy Birthday to the coolest woman I know!

Congrats on turning another year older! I’m so happy to celebrate this milestone with you!

Good morning! I wanted to be the first message you saw so you can start your big day off right. Best wishes.

Read More:https://coolbirthdaywishes.com/happy-birthday-to-an-amazing-woman-37-glorious-wishes-for-her/?feed_id=216&_unique_id=61139fa32d7c5

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19 Examples of Brilliant Email Marketing Campaigns [Template]

On any given day, most of our email inboxes are flooded with a barrage of automated email newsletters that do little else besides giving us another task to do on our commutes to work — namely, marking them all as unread without reading, or unsubscribing altogether.

But every now and then, we get a newsletter that’s so good, not only do we read it, but we click it, share it, and recommend it to our friends.

Email Marketing

Email marketing is the practice of sending various types of content to a list of subscribers via email. This content can serve to generate website traffic, leads, or even product signups. It’s important that an email campaign’s recipients have opted in to receive this content, and that each newsletter offers something valuable.

How to Create an Effective Email Marketing Campaign

Effective email marketing campaigns need to be cleverly written to attract attention in busy inboxes. Here are four steps you should follow to create an effective email campaign.

1. Use a comprehensive email builder.

The first step to creating an effective email marketing campaign is to use the best email builder.

There are several options depending on your needs, including HubSpot, MailChimp, and Constant Contact.

With a comprehensive email builder, you can create, optimize, and personalize your own email campaigns without needing any technical or graphic design experience.

2. Include personalization elements in the copy and excellent imagery.

Marketing emails need to be personalized to the reader and filled with interesting graphics.

Few people want to read emails that are addressed “Dear Sir/Madam” — as opposed to their first or last name — and even fewer people want to read an email that simply gives them a wall of text. Visuals help your recipients quickly understand the point of the email.

3. Add an appropriate call-to-action.

Once you’ve included personalization elements and added your copy and images, it’s time to add a call-to-action.

Above all, exceptional marketing emails must contain a meaningful CTA. After all, if brands are taking up subscribers’ time — and inbox space — with another email, every message must have a point to it. Internet users get multiple emails per day — why should they care about yours?

4. Make sure it’s designed for all devices.

Effective email marketing campaigns are designed for all devices on which users can read their emails — desktop, tablet, and mobile.

Email campaigns that are designed for mobile devices are especially important — a quality known as “responsive design.” In fact, 73% of companies today prioritize mobile device optimization when creating email marketing campaigns.

You probably receive enough emails as it is, and it’s tough to know which newsletters are worth subscribing to, so we’ve curated a list of some of our favorite examples.

Read on to discover some great email campaign examples and what makes them great — or just skip ahead to the brands you already know and love.

But first, download the planning template you’ll need to craft your own lovable email marketing campaign, and check out our new Out-of-Office Email Generator to make your email address even more delightful to your contacts.

Email Marketing Examples

charity: water: Donation Progress Update

Brooks Sports: Desiree Linden’s Boston Marathon Victory

BuzzFeed: ‘BuzzFeed Today’ Newsletter

Uber: Calendar Integration

TheSkimm: Subscription Anniversary

Mom and Dad Money: Get to Know Your Subscribers

Poncho: Custom Weather Forecast

Birchbox: Co-marketing Promotion

Postmates: New Product

Dropbox: User Reengagement

InVision App: Weekly Blog Newsletter

Warby Parker: Product Renewal

Cook Smarts: Weekly Product Newsletter

HireVue: Customer Retention

Paperless Post: Mother’s Day Promotion

Stitcher: Recommended for You

RCN: Storm Update

Trulia: Moving Trends

Redbubble: Featured Artist

1. charity: water

Marketing Campaign: Donation Progress Update

When people talk about email marketing, lots of them forget to mention transactional emails. These are the automated emails you get in your inbox after taking a certain action on a website. This could be anything from filling out a form, to purchasing a product, to updating you on the progress of your order. Often, these are plain text emails that marketers set and forget.

Well, charity: water took an alternate route. Once someone donates to a charity: water project, her money takes a long journey. Most charities don’t tell you about that journey at all — charity: water uses automated emails to show donors how their money is making an impact over time. With the project timeline and accompanying table, you don’t even really need to read the email — you know immediately where you are in the whole process so you can move onto other things in your inbox.

2. Brooks Sports

Marketing Campaign: Desiree Linden’s Boston Marathon Victory

When Desiree Linden won the 2018 Boston Marathon, she became the first American woman to win the race in more than 30 years. To her shoe and apparel sponsor, Brooks Sports, it was an opportunity to celebrate their long partnership together. The resulting email campaign focuses almost entirely on the Olympic marathoner’s amazing accomplishment.

Email campaigns like this one allow companies to demonstrate their loyalties and add value to the products their best users have chosen. The blue CTA button at the bottom of the email reads, “See Desiree’s go-to gear.” What better products to call attention to than the stuff worn by America’s latest legend?

After Desiree’s victory, everyone knew her name. Brooks Sports struck while the iron was hot with a proud email that was sure to be opened and forwarded.

3. BuzzFeed

Marketing Campaign: ‘BuzzFeed Today’ Newsletter

I already have a soft spot for BuzzFeed content (“21 Puppies so Cute You Will Literally Gasp and Then Probably Cry,” anyone?), but that isn’t the only reason I fell in love with its emails.

First of all, BuzzFeed has awesome subject lines and preview text. They are always short and punchy — which fits in perfectly with the rest of BuzzFeed’s content. I especially love how the preview text will accompany the subject line. For example, if the subject line is a question, the preview text is the answer. Or if the subject line is a command (like the one below), the preview text seems like the next logical thought right after it:

Once you open up an email from BuzzFeed, the copy is equally awesome. Just take a look at that glorious alt text action happening where the images should be. The email still conveys what it is supposed to convey — and looks great — whether you use an image or not. That’s definitely something to admire.

Without images:

With images:

4. Uber

Marketing Campaign: Calendar Integration

The beauty of Uber‘s emails is in their simplicity. Email subscribers are alerted to deals and promotions with emails like the one you see below. We love how brief the initial description is, paired with a very clear CTA — perfect for subscribers who are quickly skimming the email.

For the people who want to learn more, these are followed by a more detailed (but still pleasingly simple), step-by-step explanation of how the deal works.

We also love how consistent the design of Uber’s emails is with its brand. Like its app, website, social media photos, and other parts of the visual branding, the emails are represented by bright colors and geometric patterns. All of its communications and marketing assets tell the brand’s story — and brand consistency is one tactic Uber’s nailed in order to gain brand loyalty.

Check out the clever copywriting and email design at work in this example:

5. TheSkimm

Marketing Campaign: Subscription Anniversary

We love TheSkimm’s daily newsletter — especially its clean design and its short, punchy paragraphs. But newsletters aren’t TheSkimm’s only strength when it comes to email. Check out its subscriber engagement email below, which rewarded fellow marketer Ginny Mineo for being subscribed for two years.

Emails triggered by milestones, like anniversaries and birthdays, are fun to get — who doesn’t like to celebrate a special occasion? The beauty of anniversary emails, in particular, is that they don’t require subscribers to input any extra data, and they can work for a variety of senders. Plus, the timeframe can be modified based on the business model.

Here, the folks at TheSkimm took it a step further by asking Mineo if she’d like to earn the title of brand ambassador as a loyal subscriber — which would require her to share the link with ten friends, of course.

6. Mom and Dad Money

Marketing Campaign: Get to Know Your Subscribers

Think you know all about the people who are reading your marketing emails? How much of what you “know” about them is based on assumptions? The strongest buyer personas are based on insights you gather from your actual readership, through surveys, interviews, and so on — in addition to the market research.

That’s exactly what Matt Becker of Mom and Dad Money does — and he does it very, very well.

Here’s an example of an email I once received from this brand. Design-wise, it’s nothing special — but that’s the point. It reads just like an email from a friend or colleague asking for a quick favor.

Not only was this initial email great, but his response to my answers was even better: Within a few days of responding to the questionnaire, I received a long and detailed personal email from Matt thanking me for filling out the questionnaire and offering a ton of helpful advice and links to resources specifically catered to my answers. I was very impressed by his business acumen, communication skills, and obvious dedication to his readers.

7. Poncho

Marketing Campaign: Custom Weather Forecast

Some of the best emails out there pair super simple design with brief, clever copy. When it comes down to it, daily emails I get from Poncho — which sends me customizable weather forecasts each morning — takes the cake.

Poncho’s emails are colorful, use delightful images and GIFs, and are very easy to scan. The copy is brief but clever with some great puns, and it aligns perfectly with the brand. Check out the copy near the bottom asking to “hang out outside of email.” Hats off to Poncho for using design to better communicate its message.

8. Birchbox

Marketing Campaign: Co-marketing Promotion

The subject line of this email from beauty product subscription service Birchbox got my colleague Pam Vaughan clicking. It read: “We Forgot Something in Your February Box!” Of course, if you read the email copy below, Birchbox didn’t actually forget to put that discount code in her box — but it was certainly a clever way to get her attention.

As it turned out, the discount code was actually a bonus promo for Rent the Runway, a dress rental company that likely fits the interest profile of most Birchbox customers — which certainly didn’t disappoint. That’s a great co-marketing partnership right there.

9. Postmates

Marketing Campaign: New Product

I have to say, I’m a sucker for GIFs. They’re easy to consume, they catch your eye, and they have an emotional impact — like the fun GIF in one of Postmates‘ emails that’s not only delightful to watch, but also makes you crave some delicious Chipotle.

You, too, can use animated GIFs in your marketing to show a fun header, draw people’s eyes to a certain part of the email, or display your products and services in action.

10. Dropbox

Marketing Campaign: User Reengagement

You might think it’d be hard to love an email from a company whose product you haven’t been using. But Dropbox found a way to make its “come back to us!” email cute and funny, thanks to a pair of whimsical cartoons and an emoticon.

Plus, the email was kept short and sweet, to emphasize the message that Dropox didn’t want to intrude — it just wants to remind the recipient that the brand exists, and why it could be helpful. When sending these types of email, you might include an incentive for recipients to come back to using your service, like a limited-time coupon.

11. InVision App

Marketing Campaign: Weekly Blog Newsletter

Every week, the folks at InVision send a roundup of their best blog content, their favorite design links from the week, and a new opportunity to win a free t-shirt. (Seriously. They give away a new design every week.) They also sometimes have fun survey questions where they crowdsource for their blog. This week’s, for example, asked subscribers what they would do if the internet didn’t exist.

Not only is InVision’s newsletter a great mix of content, but I also love the nice balance between images and text, making it really easy to read and mobile-friendly — which is especially important, because its newsletters are so long. (Below is just an excerpt, but you can read through the full email here.) We like the clever copy on the call-to-action (CTA) buttons, too.

12. Warby Parker

Marketing Campaign: Product Renewal

What goes better with a new prescription than a new pair of glasses? The folks at Warby Parker made that connection very clear in their email to a friend of mine back in 2014. It’s an older email, but it’s such a good example of personalized email marketing that I had to include it in here.

The subject line was: “Uh-oh, your prescription is expiring.” What a clever email trigger. And you’ve gotta love the reminder that your prescription needs updating.

Speaking of which, check out the clever co-marketing at the bottom of the email: If you don’t know where to go to renew your subscription, the information for an optometrist is right in the email. Now there’s no excuse not to shop for new glasses!

13. Cook Smarts

Marketing Campaign: Weekly Product Newsletter

I’ve been a huge fan of Cook Smarts‘ “Weekly Eats” newsletter for a while. The company sends yummy recipes in the form of a meal plan to my inbox every week. But I didn’t just include it because of its delicious recipes — I’m truly a fan of its emails.

I especially love the layout of Cook Smarts’ emails: Each message features three distinct sections: one for the menu, one for kitchen how-to’s, and one for the tips. That means you don’t have to go hunting to find the most interesting part of its blog posts — you know exactly where to look after an email or two.

I also love Cook Smarts’ “Forward to a Friend” CTA in the top-right of the email. Emails are super shareable over — you guessed it — email, so you should also think about reminding your subscribers to forward your emails to friends, family, or coworkers.

14. HireVue

Marketing Campaign: Customer Retention

“Saying goodbye is never easy to do… So, we thought we’d give you a chance to rethink things.” That was the subject of this automated unsubscribe email from HireVue. We love the simple, guilt-free messaging here, from the funny header images to the great CTA button copy.

Not only are the design and copy here top-notch, but we applaud the folks at HireVue for sending automated unsubscribe emails in the first place. It’s smart to purge your subscriber lists of folks who aren’t opening your email lists, because low open rates can seriously hurt email deliverability.

15. Paperless Post

Marketing Campaign: Mother’s Day Promotion

When you think of “holiday email marketing,” your mind might jump straight to Christmas, but there are other holidays sprinkled throughout the rest of the year that you can create campaigns around. (Download these email marketing planning templates to keep yourself organized throughout the year.)

Take the email below from Paperless Post, for example. I love the header of this email: It provides a clear CTA that includes a sense of urgency. Then, the subheader asks a question that forces recipients to think to themselves, “Wait, when is Mother’s Day again? Did I buy Mom a card?” Below this copy, the simple grid design is both easy to scan and quite visually appealing. Each card picture is a CTA in and of itself — click on any one of them, and you’ll be taken to a purchase page.

16. Stitcher

Marketing Campaign: Recommended for You

As humans, we tend to crave personalized experiences. So when emails appear to be created especially for you, you feel special — you’re not just getting what everyone else is getting. You might even feel like the company sending you the email knows you in some way, and that it cares about your preferences and making you happy.

That’s why I love on-demand podcast/radio show app Stitcher‘s “Recommended For You” emails. I tend to listen to episodes from the same podcast instead of branching out to new ones. But Stitcher wants me to discover (and subscribe to) all the other awesome content it has — and I probably wouldn’t without this encouragement.

I think this email also makes quite a brilliant use of responsive design. The colors are bright, and it’s not too hard to scroll and click — notice the CTAs are large enough for me to hit with my thumbs. Also, the mobile email actually has features that make sense for recipients who are on their mobile device. Check out the CTA at the bottom of the email, for example: The “Open Stitcher Radio” button prompts the app to open on your phone.

17. RCN

Marketing Campaign: Storm Update

Internet providers and bad weather are natural enemies. You’d think telecommunications companies wouldn’t want to call attention to storm-induced power outages — the one thing that sets off customers’ impatience. Then, there’s RCN.

RCN, a cable and wireless internet service, turned this email marketing campaign into a weather forecast just for its customers. This “storm update” got the company out ahead of an event that threatened its service, while allowing its users to get the weather updates they need right from the company they count on for Wi-Fi.

As you can see below, the email even advises personal safety — a nice touch of care to go with the promise of responsive service. At the bottom of the email, RCN also took the opportunity to highlight its social media channels, which the company appropriately uses to keep users informed of network outages.

18. Trulia

Marketing Campaign: Moving Trends

I’m a huge advocate of thought leadership. To me, some of the best companies gain customer loyalty by becoming the go-to source for expertise on a given topic. Trulia — a property search engine for buyers, sellers, and renters — is that expert in the real estate biz. How do I know? Just read their emails, much like the one below.

“Why aren’t millennials moving?” The subject line of this email campaign reads before citing interesting data about relocation trends in the U.S. Trulia doesn’t benefit from people who choose not to move, but the company does benefit from having its fingers on the pulse of the industry — and showing it cares which way the real estate winds are blowing.

19. RedBubble

Marketing Campaign: Featured Artist

This email marketing campaign crushes it, and for so many reasons.

Not only is the design below super eye-catching — without looking cluttered — but the artwork is user-made. RedBubble sells merchandise featuring designs from artists all over the world. This presents a golden opportunity to feature popular submissions across the RedBubble community.

The example below showcases artwork from “Letter Shoppe,” and when that artist sees RedBubble featuring her content, she’s more likely to forward it to friends and colleagues.

In addition to linking to Letter Shoppe’s designs (available on merchandise that is ultimately sold by RedBubble), the email campaign includes an endearing quote by the Featured Artist: “Never compromise on your values, and only do work you want to get more of.” RedBubble’s customers are likely to agree — and open other emails in this campaign for more inspiring quotes.

These are just some of our favorite emails. Don’t just follow best practice when it comes to your marketing emails. Every email you send from your work email address also can be optimized to convert. Try out our free email signature generator now, and check out some more of our favorite HubSpot marketing email examples.

Editor’s note: This post was originally published in October 2013 and has been updated for comprehensiveness.

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Tags: 19, brilliant, campaigns, Email, Examples, Marketing, Template

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[mannentilminkardemomme]

Dear Mutuals,

This gif set is for you.

I haven’t been online since Friday 23rd, which is quite poopy of me, since I haven’t answered your kind messages and reblogged your posts, which I really enjoy doing. I’ve had a self-induced SKAM hiatus. I feel really happy when I see a fellow mutual post a gif set, text post or a piece of art they’ve created for this wonderful SKAMily. I’ve just been in my emo state and closed myself off from tumblr and the world of SKAM (which you can see from my unupdated blog). I didn’t know how the reaction of it all ending would be here on tumblr, and since my cat has started to refuse being a cuddly ball of fluff in which I bury all my tears in, I didn’t have anyone to be around with physically (except for my cat and horse, but they don’t really understand when I go all emo on them) to help solve my many personal emotions that were raised with the last clip and all of the seasons of SKAM. But I’ve revived myself, and can see myself staying here on tumblr until the foreseeable future. I’ve made too many friends to just shut myself from tumblr for much longer, and I’d really like to continue being in touch with you all.

This gif set is each clip that Evak kissed<3 Sorry for not being online, sorry sorry sorry.

@br1skeby Faen Johanne, min Guru. I hope you know what you mean to me, so I’ll spare you a huuuugee multi-chapter piece of writing to show that (unless if you need a sudden boost of happiness, then dm me and I’ll be on it like a car bonnet)<3 Your writing metaphorically kills me each time you drop a new bomb ass chapter. I’m really happy I’m able to fangirl with you, be it over Evak, Yousana or Levi ;)

@beanievaltersen Hehe :3 As long as you’re happy with your new mattress, Evak and I am happy too :D  You must know what you mean to me too, but we need to revive our crazy theories about what all the Skam Squads are up to! Also, it’s an absolute honour to beta-read your artistry works!! kdjfakd I have no chill about how much I love it!!!

@du-er-ikkealene Elise, you will forever be my soup-bro :D (I really hope you remember why I’mma call you that, if not, I’ll remind you!) Taakk tak tak tak for introducing me to Kensington! They, and you, have inspired me to make cool gif sets of their beautiful, meaningful lyrics, and you will also forever continue to put me in awe of all the various, creative names you make up for Noorhelm :P  (Plus, ily)

@isakschili I’m now listening to Kent on a daily basis, thanks to you, crazy Swedish music-loving girl :*  And you neeeeeed to drop the second chapter of your fic ASAP!! You can’t just leave me hanging on an ending like that-- you’ll end up making me even more mad for your fic than I already am ;)  And, in my lil head, you’re my musician buddy! Once a musician buddy, always a musician buddy.

@julieseven Daaayyyyyaamnnnnnn Sue. You must also already know what you mean to me. But seriously tho... If you don’t, then open whatsapp later tonight, and you’ll find out fo sure then.

@levok I’m on the countdown for roasting the new US Skam with you! That’s the only reason as to why I’m probably going to watch it!! And you have contributed to me writing better Danish and thinking outside the box in regards to theories and all, which is really ace! Tak, tak tak tak!! And you’re a bloody wonderful person to talk to! You never fail to make me snort air out of my nose, which basically counts as a laugh.

@prinsenimittliv Tenna I promise I’m going to write that headcanon for you! I feel really bad that I’ve left it so long, but it’s given me more time to think about different angles I can take it from<3 For every beautiful piece of art you create, I will in return write you especially a headcanon! Alt for dig, girl! Plus, dayyYYYAAAmmmMMMMmmmmm your haircut looks hella fine! :*

@chillerhjemmeisak I keep on saying it, and I’ll say it again: GOOD LUCK ON YOUR A-LEVELS!!!! :D  I promise you that with the power of The Biology Buddies, you will ace them! And that’s a promise! In an AU, we’re running around London in crazy Chris-inspired outfits.

@loooreleii Heyyy youu<3 I also hope you know how kind and sweet and funny and just all the lovely adjectives you are. Your artwork kills me (metaphorically) everytime! I’m so grateful that you share it with us<3  I really would like to keep in touch with you, also so that I can update you with how my new life in Germany will be (Update: I’VE FOUND A FAMILY TO LIVE WITH!!! IN STUTTGART, well not in Stuttgart, in a little town outside of it, but still!) Ich liebe dich<3  Plus, I’m buzzing with all sorts of ideas for the 5 different kisses drabble idea you gave me! Can’t wait to write it for you!

@asflowerpot1 You were the first person I spoke to on this crazy site! If you hadn’t reached out to me so that we could fangirl together, I probably would’ve stayed alone and quite in my own lil fangirl bubble :)  I love how we can literally feel each other’s emotions through the use of caps lock and I just really connect with you! I look forward to continuing our crazy long messages and emo feels together!<3

@eivseank Diana, promise that you’ll remember this: Du. Er. Ikke. Alene. I will be there for you to share our happiness between us, and our sad times. Because that’s what friends do. Please, please remember that<3  I love our long messages about travelling the world and eating 100% cocoa chocolate! :P  Make sure to sleep really well this summer, and to eat loads of ice-cream!!

@isaksredscarf Gael, you da BOMB!.com  Thank you again, endlessly for bringing me into the skamfwn- it’s really boosted my confidence in writing, and everytime I published some little drabble, I always knew I could count on you to tell me how it was!<3 I’ve got an AO3 now, where I’m called tacha_bacha because I thought ‘mannentilminkardemomme’ would be quite long :P  so, yay! This past week I’ve been slowly easing my way back into the wonderful, glorious SKAM world by reading and writing fic, which has definitely lifted my m00d by 110%, no doubt about it. Say ‘hi’ to your fuffy, adorable cat!

@sweetevak Ayo Emotional Overload, let’s keep sending dank memes of Honk vs. Cat in sunglasses :D  Also, I’ll literally never let you forget that you were the one to get me into writing!! You’re a godess! (At least, you’re my writing godess). I miss when you’d send seriously cute lil headcanons of Evak- they were pure and sweet, and just what every single hc in this crazy world should be made of<3

I’m going on holiday to The Motherland (aka. Denmark) this Tuesday for 11 days with my friend who has never been, and I’m not bringing my laptop, so writing any drabble will be harder on my phone, but I will do it for you all!! Because I love writing for you and seeing your sweet reactions in the tags and comments. I’m also bringing a notepad along, so there will definitely be a lot of inspiration coming to me! I’ve already started thinking about writing an AU -whaaaaaaattt???? This is new territory for me, but I’m so excited to be doing it with all of you, both my beautiful mutuals and followers (AND BEAUTIFUL ANON, IF YOU’RE READING THIS THEN REMEMBER THAT YOU PHYSICALLY AND LITERALLY MAKE ME SMILE!!!!! WHICH IS ONE OF THE BEST EFFECTS ONE CAN HAVE ON A PERSON!)

Jeg elsker dere alle! Have a wonderful summer. I really look forward to reblogging EVERYTHING I see! *sends an infinite amount of kisses*

Love from,

Natacha :o)

[narada-c]

Treasure lost

I have just finished reading a book about extreme diarist, Anne Lister (of Shibden Hall, Halifax) who lived & loved in the 19th century. I helplessly began to reminisce the bygone days of my youth when a large percentage of personal correspondence was epistolary. Composing a letter required time & effort but it was a task worth seeing through. The other party (friend, close relative, love interest) would hold in their hands a piece of me that had fully engaged in thoughts of them whilst scribbling away. And well, my letters were eagerly anticipated & lovingly praised. I made them entertaining, unexpected, colourful, engaging.

Nowadays I find myself tolerating appalling communication forced upon by text messaging or emailing. Although there are some glorious exceptions to these that I receive & read with a smiling heart, this is mostly a realm in which idiotic abbreviations & robotic expressions take over & decide for mindless persons whose brains have been willingly set to automatic pilot. Most folk tell me how archaic is my choice to not use a stupid phone (I cannot bring myself to call it smart) yet I fail to witness the actual benefit or improvement upon real, meaningful communication. Most folk simultaneously comment on how much they wished they could go back to using a simple phone. Or using no mobile phone at all. Some folk are noticing how much they are entrapped in a time-wasting network operated by finger swipes & making them unable to stay long enough focused on a subject, person, piece of art, etc.

I know this because I make music & videos. And even though I deeply value my artistic offering to the world & share it with a full heart, I would consider myself lucky if a person offered me 30 seconds of uninterrupted attention before they move on to the next post, notification, whatever...

I am certain not one single person will finish reading this note and so I will abruptly end here

… but it is to be continued

[tanadrin]

One of the interesting ideas cognitive literary theory exposed to me was the extent to which our cognition is embodied; like, some of this is just trivially obvious, in that things like our sense of direction or our ability to solve physical puzzles are dependent on our perceptions of geometry and angles and proportions. But it does run deeper than that, with things like the method of loci using our spatial reasoning ability to enhance our memory, two things which are not obviously related to one another. Even that, however, is scratching the surface. When you try to delve into the mechanics of how language slices the world, both in the concrete and the abstract, you find that ultimately all human language is physical or sensory and only from there extended by analogy to the abstract and philosophical. There are words whose obvious meanings are both physical and abstract (network, bridge, impression, depth) but few or none that run in the other direction. (Words relating to time don’t count, since that’s something we perceive with our senses, even if it’s not directly physical--still part of embodied cognition. Likewise emotions, which we physically locate in our bodies even if they exist only in our mind.) The weak version of this statement would admit there are words for abstract concepts whose etymology is non-abstract (institution is a word that springs to mind), but arguments from the history of words don’t actually tell us much about how words work now (the language of individual persons is synchronic, not diachronic; language change has no memory). But I think the strong version holds as well: words like “institution” refer to groupings which naturally arise out of our sensory impressions, in the same way we look at a flock of birds and see it as one thing, albeit one with readily discerned components.

If you don’t mind rhetorically overblown statements, you could say that the human mind is dependent on far more than just the brain. Subjectively, at least, the mechanics of our cognition stretch out into the world around us.

All of that’s well and good when it comes to literary criticism, especially where it involves picking apart the minutiae of texts, but what really interests me about this is what it says for our ability to understand beings with cognition unlike our own. It’s not immediately obvious, for instance, why we should be able to, not translate, but actually understand the Epic of Gilgamesh, which is about as remote from our day-to-day experiences as you can get, culturally speaking, being written in a dead language by people with completely different day-to-day experiences and with virtually zero shared literary/religious references. But we do, because human cognition hasn’t changed much in the millennia since it was written, and there are common landmarks we can point to which structure our understanding of the world in the same way they structured Sin-Leqi-Unninni’s.

What if those referents don’t exist? What of creatures that had, not just differently organized brains, but different senses, different linguistic universals, a different relationship to their physical world--or, in the case of an intelligence implemented as a computer program, none at all? Does it follow that we would have much in common with them--indeed, does it follow that we could understand them at all?

I don’t think it does. In fact, I think it requires assuming a lot which is actually up for grabs. Even if trends in terrestrial evolution, like cephalization and an organized nervous system and cellular biology hold in other contexts, even if they’re as natural a consequence of the physical laws of the universe as breathing oxygen to run your metabolism, you could have fundamentally creatures whose languages are simply unlearnable for humans, who have nothing of interest in the realms of art or philosophy to share with us, nor us with them, simply for the reason that our experiences of the universe are too different. I’m not saying we couldn’t communicate at all. We would deduce the same physical laws; we would probably be able to work out a you-fish-on-your-side-of-the-lake-and-I-fish-on-mine-and-nobody-fishes-in-the-middle-type agreement to live and let live, and maybe even some basic forms of trade, but actual communion could remain forever out of reach.

(And is this the solution to Fermi’s paradox? That alien intelligence is so different from our own we can’t recognize it from here even if it *is* leaving footprints all over the universe? I don’t think it’s likely, but I do think it’s possible.)

But I also think this is why we can’t assume the possibility of an artificial intelligence that we can have any kind of meaningful communication with, never mind uploading a human mind. Even if you could implement a very good simulation of the human brain in a computer, a human mind unmoored from its body might not think the same way, might not have the same relationship with the world, might have a very different internal experience from anything the embodied human has, and the closer you got to bridging the gap the more you would just be simulating a physical world that was inhabited in the same way we already inhabit our world. If that mind could copy itself, merge itself, alter itself, then the differences would be even greater. If that mind was built from the ground up, intelligence developed on its own terms rather than those of DNA and cellular biology, why should it have anything in common with us at all? It would be as alien as any other kind of intelligence, and while perhaps we could customize it to do useful work for us, I’m still not sure its internal experience would ever be something comprehensible or of interest to us, and vice-versa.

I don’t think this means uploaded minds or entirely artificial intelligence are impossible, or even necessarily inadvisable. Just that there are aspects of discussions of the glorious post-scarcity transhuman future that remind me of people in 1950 predicting a society in 2020 with the same political and gender relations, or science fiction of the 1920s that predicts a universe populated with American-accented rubber forehead aliens whose societies are organized exactly like Earth’s. If the past has any lesson to offer, it is that the future is going to be a lot weirder than we imagine, or even than we can imagine.

[drink-n-watch]

Here we are, the penultimate episode, and I’m already a little sad. As much as I’m going to miss this surprisingly loveable little show, I think I might miss our after reviewing tradition even more. OK maybe not more, it really is a very sweet show, but just as much!

It’s been great! I hope you’ve felt as creatively free as I have!

Crow (crowsworldofanime.com) and I have been pretty united in out praise of Zombieland Saga so far but this was an odd episode. Let’s see if the trend can stay true to the end. Not that I’m teaching you guys anything but Crow is bold man.

Well, bold-ish…

this is meta, why is Zombieland showing me watching the show?

Straight off the bat, this episode was a bit of a gamble for Zombieland. Not that it’s unusual to have the before last episode take a tonal turn, it’s actually fairly common. However, this week’s Zombieland wasn’t only uncharacteristically sober, it reframed the main character into something that may not be as likable to the core audience. Effectively throwing out a lot of character clichés and even robbing Sakura of any real redemption arc. Any feelings about the narrative shuffle?

You’ve honed in on exactly the part of the episode that left me feeling uneasy — at least, emotionally jolted. Sakura’s despair and self-reproach are almost too familiar! And at the same time, those apparent failures in her life, and her reaction to them, robbed her of the ability to understand something important: That she really helped those old ladies. That she really had friends who rooted for her. The insight changed how we have to interpret the entire Sakura arc, and it also raises an important psychological “what if…” But let’s leave that for later.

sort of…

As soon as the episode started I got excited. Last week’s cliffhanger was one of the best I’ve seen in a while and I couldn’t wait to see how they were going to resolve it with so little time left. I never expected them to play it straight. Although, I’m not sure what I expected at all.

You and me both! The show’s conditioned me to expect subtle irreverence at every turn, but this time, they plowed straight ahead.

Sakura has lost her memories of being a zombie but remembers her life. Which turns out to be frustrating and unsatisfying. Moreover, her traumatic death is just the last straw in what she considers an utter failure of a life. Completely demoralized, Sakura more or less shuts down, and pushes everyone and everything else away.

she’s pretty much always like this

The opening scenes, with Sakura freaking out over the zombies, were a nice way to call back to episode 1 and bookend the series though. Even the visuals were parallel.

And, of course, she just had to meet Tae first! And Tae has such a gentle way of saying “Good morning!”

Saki looked so worried about Sakura and it was adorable!

All of their reactions were just heartbreaking!

agreed

I must say, that was an impressively down to earth portrayal of depression. It was a bit obvious, although I’m not sure they could have done otherwise considering the time constraints, but it was also unflinching. There was something weirdly admirable about Zombieland’s resolve to not just let Sakura magically snap out of it.

That’s another aspect that left me feeling so unsettled — and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It was too spot on. But given who Sakura is, and given what this show’s presented so far, I can think of only a handful of other shows that could trigger this kind of reaction.

this framing is brilliant

Equally laudable, in my opinion, was the grim repercussions on Saki, Junko and Lily who attempted to help.These situations don’t just affect one person, they affect everyone around as well. And they affected them all in different ways. This was far from a flattering depiction of Sakura but sometimes, when you fall far enough, you just don’t have the strength to empathise anymore.

I couldn’t believe how bad I felt for the others as they tried to help her! Especially Saki and poor Lily! For Lily to go from “Before you said you thought that star and my smile were cute!” to sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow drove home a critical point: That until now, these zombie idols have supported each other; and now that one of those pillars of support is crumbling, all of them are in turmoil.

and the repetition makes it truly special

Once again, Zombieland Saga is tackling a fairly serious and not at all funny subject openly and resisting the urge to turn it into farce. I really didn’t expect any of this when I started the show!

I remember the old M*A*S*H series. Great comedy for its time, but because of the comedic expectations, it had an opportunity to make powerfully dramatic points — as long as they didn’t do it too often. I get that vibe from this show!

You know what, I see it now. I loved M*A*S*H (use to watch reruns with my folks). That cutting sensibility is very much like Zombieland!

most of us feel this way

After having hurt the people closest to her (and having them retreat helpless, not knowing what to do), Sakura just aimlessly wanders the night ending up in a park.

Here we see the return of the creepy police officer. He didn’t really have much to do other than once again instill the feeling of déjà vue. But just like everything else this week, the familiar scene played out completely differently. The downtrodden and hurt Sakura was almost pleading to be shot. A sort of balm to her intangible pain. The entire thing was extremely unsettling and yet, oddly pretty.

I remember thinking it was tragically beautiful.

this scene was delicae, poignant and solemnly meaningful…

I should have realized it sooner of course. Sakura has always been a bit helpless after all. I should have seen that she was being set up as a damsel in distress. Still, such an unusual distress for anime.

In the end though, Sakura at her worst, brought our Kotarou at his best. Manager made his glorious entrance in the nick of time. Knocking out the cop (that poor guy has to have some long term brain damage by now) and swooping in to save the day.

Maybe that’s why he’s so creepy? One (or ten) too many blows to the head?

he’s had a few shocks

Manager has never been that great with words. It’s part of the gag. And although Zombieland played the scene seriously, he still wasn’t exactly inspiring. Sakura was more confused than motivated. This said, there was enough feeling, care and passion behind his words to at least give her something to latch onto!

May favourite line of dialogue was manager exclaiming “It doesn’t matter if you don’t have it, because I do!” The I’m good enough to make you good pep talk is not what we usually hear and I loved it. Would have worked on me! How about you?

It would have been so unexpected that it’d have a good chance at loosening my defenses. And did you catch how the show played with the trope of the voice of reason (the manager, in this case) storming off to let the main character wallow in a miserable soliloquy? Just as Sakura is descending into a self-loathing speech, Koutarou startles her with “Yeah, you thought I was done, huh?” Loved it. This show knows how to teeter right on the edge of melodrama!

surprisingly, that might be true

One of the few straight up jokes in this episode, was Yuguri dressing up in full geisha get up, and looking mightily impressive I might add, just to realize Sakura’s already left. I really would have loved to see Yuuri in that outfit longer. Any thoughts?

My first thought was the typical male response. I mean, Good Lord, she looked amazing! But then I had this sudden chill and realized that Yuguri had slapped before, and she could slap again! I was in fear for Sakura’s face!

I’m not thinking about anyone else’s face

This episode brought up a fascinating question: Just how profound an impact do our life experiences have on our hopes? In Sakura’s case, she weathered a seriously frustrating series of events. From an operant conditioning perspective alone, I can understand her reaction! But to be running out of the house, all excited to be back on track, and get killed? Jeesh!

But in her case, and apparently in her case alone, her amnesia was a complete blessing.

I still can’t get the image if Lily sobbing into her pillow out of my head. All of them are standing on such thin ice…

Saki is all of us

For me it was Saki. Frustrated, lost and a little scared Saki. First time we are seeing hr shaken up. If Saki can’t just make it all better and shrug it off, what are we going to do?

Seeing her check her thumb nail was such a perfect way to show her pain.

[ Did you want to mention anything about Koutarou’s conversation in the bar? In the comments on the ZLS 11 review on Random Curiosity, https://randomc.net/2018/12/13/zombieland-saga-11/, users Nene and Panino Manino had some really interesting theories…

This was a difficult episode to watch — and to review! Thanks for setting up the frame! ]

risk it, it’s worth it

Guys, this little bracketed text is in fact just meant for me. I’m leaving it in. I like seeing behind the curtain stuff on posts so I think you guys might enjoy it too. I also really like that Crow pays attention to his fellow bloggers and readers. He often points out comments or posts I have missed and I am very much richer for it.

You should go read Nene and Panino’s theories.I unfortunately don’t know enough to add anything interesting.

This said, manager’s bar scene was very intriguing. I didn’t originally comment on it in the post proper because I had so many things to get to, I didn’t want to overcrowd it but you know what – clarity has never been my brand.

flashback scene without warning or context!

There’s a reason your blog’s so popular! (dawwww)

These are my random takeaways from that scene. The village of Saga itself is responsible for the zombie phenomenon in some way, and Koutarou is not the only one who knows. He also plans to make it public at some point.

Koutarou himself has been around for a while. Since it’s very reasonable to think that he’s also not quite human, he could be hundreds of years old for all we know. This may be one of dozens of attempts to save Saga.

Maybe that’s why Saga’s still there at all?

this took a turn

The bartender seemed to have a very close personal relationship with Yuguri. Considering the family theme so far, I’m tempted to say he’s her dad.

Yuguri is a courtesan, which implies a lot of things. Although she is certainly charming and imposing, she has so far avoided being openly seductive or sexual. This could simply be because of the tone of the series but it may also have something to do with her life. Did she leave someone important behind?

I’m still wondering about the scar around her neck!

what do you mean just one episode left?

There cannot just be one episode left. We have so very much to explore still!

I’ll second that. It seems like this season has just given us a brief glimpse into a zombie world that’s coexisted with the human world — apparently for hundreds of years! Are there other zombies out and about? It seems they’ve kept themselves private, but I think you’re right when you say Koutarou wants to make it public — why else do something as obvious as an idol group?

And I’m just not ready to say goodbye to Franchouchou!

Despite using do many in the post, I actually still have a few screencaps left. I hope you enjoy them. This week was great for caps.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Irina and Crow in Zombieland (Saga) ep11: It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn Here we are, the penultimate episode, and I’m already a little sad. As much as I’m going to miss this surprisingly loveable little show, I think I might miss our after reviewing tradition even more.

[lindyhunt]

19 of the Best Email Marketing Campaign Examples We've Ever Seen [+ Template]

On any given day, most of our email inboxes are flooded with a barrage of automated email newsletters that do little else besides giving us another task to do on our commutes to work -- namely, marking them all as unread without reading, or unsubscribing altogether.

But every now and then, we get a newsletter that's so good, not only do we read it, but we click it, share it, and recommend it to our friends.

What Makes an Effective Email Marketing Campaign?

Effective email marketing campaigns need to be cleverly written to attract attention in busy inboxes. Here are three things your next email campaign should have.

Personalization and Imagery

Marketing emails also need to be personalized to the reader and filled with interesting graphics. Few people want to read emails that are addressed "Dear Sir/Madam" -- as opposed to their first or last name -- and even fewer people want to read an email that simply gives them a wall of text. Visuals help your recipients quickly understand what the point of the email is.

Responsive Design

Effective email marketing campaigns are designed for all devices on which users can read their emails -- desktop, tablet, and smartphone. Email campaigns that are designed for mobile devices are especially important -- a quality known as "responsive design." In fact, 67% of emails today are read on either a smartphone or tablet.

An Appropriate Call-to-Action

Above all, exceptional marketing emails must contain a meaningful call-to-action (CTA). After all, if brands are taking up subscribers' time -- and inbox space -- with another email, every message must have a point to it. Internet users get multiple emails per day -- why should they care about yours?

  You probably receive enough emails as it is, and it's tough to know which newsletters are worth subscribing to, so we've curated a list of some of our favorite examples. Read on to discover some great email campaign examples and what makes them great -- or just skip ahead to the brands you already know and love.

But first, download the planning template you'll need to craft your own lovable email marketing campaign.

Email Marketing Examples

charity: water: Donation Progress Update

Brooks Sports: Desiree Linden's Boston Marathon Victory

BuzzFeed: 'BuzzFeed Today' Newsletter

Uber: Calendar Integration

TheSkimm: Subscription Anniversary

Mom and Dad Money: Get to Know Your Subscribers

Poncho: Custom Weather Forecast

Birchbox: Co-marketing Promotion

Postmates: New Product

Dropbox: User Reengagement

InVision App: Weekly Blog Newsletter

Warby Parker: Product Renewal

Cook Smarts: Weekly Product Newsletter

HireVue: Customer Retention

Paperless Post: Mother's Day Promotion

Stitcher: Recommended for You

RCN: Storm Update

Trulia: Moving Trends

Redbubble: Featured Artist

P.S. - Want to get more out of your email signature? Yes -- it's possible.

1. charity: water

Marketing Campaign: Donation Progress Update

When people talk about email marketing, lots of them forget to mention transactional emails. These are the automated emails you get in your inbox after taking a certain action on a website. This could be anything from filling out a form, to purchasing a product, to updating you on the progress of your order. Often, these are plain text emails that marketers set and forget.

Well, charity: water took an alternate route. Once someone donates to a charity: water project, her money takes a long journey. Most charities don't tell you about that journey at all -- charity: water uses automated emails to show donors how their money is making an impact over time. With the project timeline and accompanying table, you don't even really need to read the email -- you know immediately where you are in the whole process so you can move onto other things in your inbox.

2. Brooks Sports

Marketing Campaign: Desiree Linden's Boston Marathon Victory

When Desiree Linden won the 2018 Boston Marathon, she became the first American woman to win the race in more than 30 years. To her shoe and apparel sponsor, Brooks Sports, it was an opportunity to celebrate their long partnership together. The resulting email campaign focuses almost entirely on the Olympic marathoner's amazing accomplishment.

Email campaigns like this one allow companies to demonstrate their loyalties and add value to the products their best users have chosen. The blue CTA button at the bottom of the email reads, "See Desiree's go-to gear." What better products to call attention to than the stuff worn by America's latest legend?

After Desiree's victory, everyone knew her name. Brooks Sports struck while the iron was hot with a proud email that was sure to be opened and forwarded.

3. BuzzFeed

Marketing Campaign: 'BuzzFeed Today' Newsletter

I already have a soft spot for BuzzFeed content ("21 Puppies so Cute You Will Literally Gasp and Then Probably Cry," anyone?), but that isn't the only reason I fell in love with its emails.

First of all, BuzzFeed has awesome subject lines and preview text. They are always short and punchy -- which fits in perfectly with the rest of BuzzFeed's content. I especially love how the preview text will accompany the subject line. For example, if the subject line is a question, the preview text is the answer. Or if the subject line is a command (like the one below), the preview text seems like the next logical thought right after it:

Once you open up an email from BuzzFeed, the copy is equally awesome. Just take a look at that glorious alt text action happening where the images should be. The email still conveys what it is supposed to convey -- and looks great -- whether you use an image or not. That's definitely something to admire.

Without images:

With images:

4. Uber

Marketing Campaign: Calendar Integration

The beauty of Uber's emails is in their simplicity. Email subscribers are alerted to deals and promotions with emails like the one you see below. We love how brief the initial description is, paired with a very clear CTA -- perfect for subscribers who are quickly skimming the email.

For the people who want to learn more, these are followed by a more detailed (but still pleasingly simple), step-by-step explanation of how the deal works.

We also love how consistent the design of Uber's emails is with its brand. Like its app, website, social media photos, and other parts of the visual branding, the emails are represented by bright colors and geometric patterns. All of its communications and marketing assets tell the brand's story -- and brand consistency is one tactic Uber's nailed in order to gain brand loyalty.

Check out the clever copywriting and email design at work in this example:

5. TheSkimm

Marketing Campaign: Subscription Anniversary

We love TheSkimm's daily newsletter -- especially its clean design and its short, punchy paragraphs. But newsletters aren't TheSkimm's only strength when it comes to email. Check out its subscriber engagement email below, which rewarded fellow marketer Ginny Mineo for being subscribed for two years.

Emails triggered by milestones, like anniversaries and birthdays, are fun to get -- who doesn't like to celebrate a special occasion? The beauty of anniversary emails, in particular, is that they don't require subscribers to input any extra data, and they can work for a variety of senders. Plus, the timeframe can be modified based on the business model.

Here, the folks at TheSkimm took it a step further by asking Mineo if she'd like to earn the title of brand ambassador as a loyal subscriber -- which would require her to share the link with ten friends, of course.

6. Mom and Dad Money

Marketing Campaign: Get to Know Your Subscribers

Think you know all about the people who are reading your marketing emails? How much of what you "know" about them is based on assumptions? The strongest buyer personas are based on insights you gather from your actual readership, through surveys, interviews, and so on -- in addition to the market research.

That's exactly what Matt Becker of Mom and Dad Money does -- and he does it very, very well.

Here's an example of an email I once received from this brand. Design-wise, it's nothing special -- but that's the point. It reads just like an email from a friend or colleague asking for a quick favor.

Not only was this initial email great, but his response to my answers was even better: Within a few days of responding to the questionnaire, I received a long and detailed personal email from Matt thanking me for filling out the questionnaire and offering a ton of helpful advice and links to resources specifically catered to my answers. I was very impressed by his business acumen, communication skills, and obvious dedication to his readers.

7. Poncho

Marketing Campaign: Custom Weather Forecast

Some of the best emails out there pair super simple design with brief, clever copy. When it comes down to it, daily emails I get from Poncho -- which sends me customizable weather forecasts each morning -- takes the cake.

Poncho's emails are colorful, use delightful images and GIFs, and are very easy to scan. The copy is brief but clever with some great puns, and it aligns perfectly with the brand. Check out the copy near the bottom asking to "hang out outside of email." Hats off to Poncho for using design to better communicate its message.

8. Birchbox

Marketing Campaign: Co-marketing Promotion

The subject line of this email from beauty product subscription service Birchbox got my colleague Pam Vaughan clicking. It read: "We Forgot Something in Your February Box!" Of course, if you read the email copy below, Birchbox didn't actually forget to put that discount code in her box -- but it was certainly a clever way to get her attention.

As it turned out, the discount code was actually a bonus promo for Rent the Runway, a dress rental company that likely fits the interest profile of most Birchbox customers -- which certainly didn't disappoint. That's a great co-marketing partnership right there.

9. Postmates

Marketing Campaign: New Product

I have to say, I'm a sucker for GIFs. They're easy to consume, they catch your eye, and they have an emotional impact -- like the fun GIF in one of Postmates' emails that's not only delightful to watch, but also makes you crave some delicious Chipotle.

You, too, can use animated GIFs in your marketing to show a fun header, draw people's eyes to a certain part of the email, or display your products and services in action.

10. Dropbox

Marketing Campaign: User Reengagement

You might think it'd be hard to love an email from a company whose product you haven't been using. But Dropbox found a way to make its "come back to us!" email cute and funny, thanks to a pair of whimsical cartoons and an emoticon.

Plus, the email was kept short and sweet, to emphasize the message that Dropox didn't want to intrude -- it just wants to remind the recipient that the brand exists, and why it could be helpful. When sending these types of email, you might include an incentive for recipients to come back to using your service, like a limited-time coupon.

11. InVision App

Marketing Campaign: Weekly Blog Newsletter

Every week, the folks at InVision send a roundup of their best blog content, their favorite design links from the week, and a new opportunity to win a free t-shirt. (Seriously. They give away a new design every week.) They also sometimes have fun survey questions where they crowdsource for their blog. This week's, for example, asked subscribers what they would do if the internet didn't exist.

Not only is InVision's newsletter a great mix of content, but I also love the nice balance between images and text, making it really easy to read and mobile-friendly -- which is especially important, because its newsletters are so long. (Below is just an excerpt, but you can read through the full email here.) We like the clever copy on the call-to-action (CTA) buttons, too.

12. Warby Parker

Marketing Campaign: Product Renewal

What goes better with a new prescription than a new pair of glasses? The folks at Warby Parker made that connection very clear in their email to a friend of mine back in 2014. It's an older email, but it's such a good example of personalized email marketing that I had to include it in here.

The subject line was: "Uh-oh, your prescription is expiring." What a clever email trigger. And you've gotta love the reminder that your prescription needs updating.

Speaking of which, check out the clever co-marketing at the bottom of the email: If you don't know where to go to renew your subscription, the information for an optometrist is right in the email. Now there's no excuse not to shop for new glasses!

13. Cook Smarts

Marketing Campaign: Weekly Product Newsletter

I've been a huge fan of Cook Smarts' "Weekly Eats" newsletter for a while. The company sends yummy recipes in the form of a meal plan to my inbox every week. But I didn't just include it because of its delicious recipes -- I'm truly a fan of its emails.

I especially love the layout of Cook Smarts' emails: Each message features three distinct sections: one for the menu, one for kitchen how-to's, and one for the tips. That means you don't have to go hunting to find the most interesting part of its blog posts -- you know exactly where to look after an email or two.

I also love Cook Smarts' "Forward to a Friend" CTA in the top-right of the email. Emails are super shareable over -- you guessed it -- email, so you should also think about reminding your subscribers to forward your emails to friends, family, or coworkers.

14. HireVue

Marketing Campaign: Customer Retention

"Saying goodbye is never easy to do… So, we thought we’d give you a chance to rethink things." That was the subject of this automated unsubscribe email from HireVue. We love the simple, guilt-free messaging here, from the funny header images to the great CTA button copy.

Not only are the design and copy here top-notch, but we applaud the folks at HireVue for sending automated unsubscribe emails in the first place. It's smart to purge your subscriber lists of folks who aren't opening your email lists, because low open rates can seriously hurt email deliverability.

15. Paperless Post

Marketing Campaign: Mother's Day Promotion

When you think of "holiday email marketing," your mind might jump straight to Christmas, but there are other holidays sprinkled throughout the rest of the year that you can create campaigns around. (Download these email marketing planning templates to keep yourself organized throughout the year.)

Take the email below from Paperless Post, for example. I love the header of this email: It provides a clear CTA that includes a sense of urgency. Then, the subheader asks a question that forces recipients to think to themselves, "Wait, when is Mother's Day again? Did I buy Mom a card?" Below this copy, the simple grid design is both easy to scan and quite visually appealing. Each card picture is a CTA in and of itself -- click on any one of them, and you'll be taken to a purchase page.

16. Stitcher

Marketing Campaign: Recommended for You

As humans, we tend to crave personalized experiences. So when emails appear to be created especially for you, you feel special -- you’re not just getting what everyone else is getting. You might even feel like the company sending you the email knows you in some way, and that it cares about your preferences and making you happy.

That's why I love on-demand podcast/radio show app Stitcher's "Recommended For You" emails. I tend to listen to episodes from the same podcast instead of branching out to new ones. But Stitcher wants me to discover (and subscribe to) all the other awesome content it has -- and I probably wouldn't without this encouragement.

I think this email also makes quite a brilliant use of responsive design. The colors are bright, and it's not too hard to scroll and click -- notice the CTAs are large enough for me to hit with my thumbs. Also, the mobile email actually has features that make sense for recipients who are on their mobile device. Check out the CTA at the bottom of the email, for example: The "Open Stitcher Radio" button prompts the app to open on your phone.

17. RCN

Marketing Campaign: Storm Update

Internet providers and bad weather are natural enemies. You'd think telecommunications companies wouldn't want to call attention to storm-induced power outages -- the one thing that sets off customers' impatience. Then, there's RCN.

RCN, a cable and wireless internet service, turned this email marketing campaign into a weather forecast just for its customers. This "storm update" got the company out ahead of an event that threatened its service, while allowing its users to get the weather updates they need right from the company they count on for Wi-Fi.

As you can see below, the email even advises personal safety -- a nice touch of care to go with the promise of responsive service. At the bottom of the email, RCN also took the opportunity to highlight its social media channels, which the company appropriately uses to keep users informed of network outages.

18. Trulia

Marketing Campaign: Moving Trends

I'm a huge advocate of thought leadership. To me, some of the best companies gain customer loyalty by becoming the go-to source for expertise on a given topic. Trulia -- a property search engine for buyers, sellers, and renters -- is that expert in the real estate biz. How do I know? Just read their emails, much like the one below.

"Why aren't millennials moving?" The subject line of this email campaign reads before citing interesting data about relocation trends in the U.S. Trulia doesn't benefit from people who choose not to move, but the company does benefit from having its fingers on the pulse of the industry -- and showing it cares which way the real estate winds are blowing.

19. Redbubble

Marketing Campaign: Featured Artist

This email marketing campaign crushes it, and for so many reasons.

Not only is the design below super eye-catching -- without looking cluttered -- but the artwork is user-made. Redbubble sells merchandise featuring designs from artists all over the world. This presents a golden opportunity to feature popular submissions across the Redbubble community.

The example below showcases artwork from "Letter Shoppe," and when that artist sees Redbubble featuring her content, she's more likely to forward it to friends and colleagues.

In addition to linking to Letter Shoppe's designs (available on merchandise that is ultimately sold by Redbubble), the email campaign includes an endearing quote by the Featured Artist: "Never compromise on your values, and only do work you want to get more of." Redbubble's customers are likely to agree -- and open other emails in this campaign for more inspiring quotes.

These are just some of our favorite emails. Don't just follow best practice when it comes to your marketing emails. Every email you send from your work email address also can be optimized to convert. Try out our free email signature generator now, and check out some more of our favorite HubSpot marketing email examples.

[princepestilence]

New Year’s Resolutions 2018: January.

Sounds of the month: Glorious/Keeping House/I Can’t Decide/Stand By You&Me.

Post-January horoscope: “You’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.”

In January, 

- work to a schedule: it ended up not totally working but I’ve already gotten better at quarantining different things to different parts of the day. I’m trying not to do work at night. I’m working on getting things written before the sun goes down. Learning how to draw boundaries is important, and I’m getting there. I think if this is the start of the year, I’ll have nailed this one by the end of the year. We shall see. 

- write 10,000 words: I’ve only gotten to about 6,000, but I’m still happy with that! They’re not a very good 6,000 words, but having them means this month I can make them better: the only improvement you can make on nothing is something, but you can make endless improvements on something. I’m cautiously optimistic today, which is a great feeling compared to... most of the month. I was in despair of myself and my future. So glad to have gotten away from that a bit now. 

- turn electronics off by ten-thirty: I’ve been doing really well on this one, except on the few nights where I was working or writing and completely lost track of time and looked up and it was like two in the morning. Overall, though, a success!

- read a book a week: I fucking smashed this one. I’m so stoked. I’ve read (not in order) All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente, Heat and Light by Ellen van Neerven, The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley, The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett, half of Carpe Jugulum (also Terry Pratchett), Beauty and the Beast: Classic Tales About Animal Brides and Grooms from Around the World edited by Maria Tatar, half of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, a third of Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan, several short stories, and a dozen fanfiction stories of not inconsiderable length! I am flourishing. 

- play games more often: I smashed this one too! I’ve been playing Okami all month and I’m sort of thinking I’ll go for a 100% because why not. I’ve unlocked a lot of trophies already and the fact is, I actually really don’t want to leave this game. It feels so damn good to play. I wish there was like... way more of it. (Please... DLC... a second game... anything. Let me play this same game all over again, but change the landscape and the plot and the enemies a little bit. I will eat it all up and beg for seconds. Do what Pokemon does... you have found the perfect formula...)

- catch up with a friend each week: this one didn’t really need to be a resolution, but I’m glad it is because it reminds me to seek out and say yes to opportunities when they arise. I am even more pro-active than before, which is ideal, because it’s so nice to spend time with friends. 

- write letters: I wrote and sent two letters this month, which means there’s only ten left for me to reach my goal of twelve. If we fall into a habit of writing one a month or every second month, that will be wonderful. I love the whole experience of letters: letter-writing, sending, waiting, the excitement of checking the mail, the opening (with my very beautiful and beloved letter-opener sword), the reading, the cherishing, and then the writing back. As good as texting and the rest is, there’s a lot to be said for pleasure in the practical doing of letters and the delayed gratification involved. 

- use your nice things: I have been doing so, although the weather has not encouraged me to use many of them--it’s too hot for especially nice clothes, or tea, or candle-lit baths. Nevertheless, though, every day is special.

- fill commonplace book: I’ve been doing so! I’m really hooked on it now, and look forward to sitting down for a little while and writing out words that are really meaningful to me. This will become a lifelong habit, I can tell. 

- finish the Sunshine Times: my heart has not been right for this. But I’ll get there when I’m ready. I think about it often. I visit my children from time to time and remind them how much I love them. 

- be open with, and to, writing: holy shit, did some cool and great stuff happen this month! Not to brag, but guess who’s finally, finally getting out of the other side of the deeply upsetting break in writing that’s been plaguing him for several years? Me. Guess who’s--somewhat typically--gone from zero to a thousand and discovered the idea he’s been sitting on for quite a while is actually 1. good, and 2. a duology? Also me. I’m not ready to commit to a writing schedule yet, so early on, but stars blazing am I here to have fun and be myself. 

- Japanese study: I did a little but kept forgetting. I’m not upset, though, because I still did sort of a lot with this month in other ways.

- work on podcast: not a lot, but did some good thinking and figured out how best to help me progress from here. I’m really looking forward to our practice episodes, which is a good sign! I want this to be something I love and am passionate about.

- be more forgiving: it’s early days but. I think I am healing. I’ve been... quiet for a long time. I think the longest I’ve ever been, since I was thirteen or so. To begin with, it felt weirdly less stable, like any minute things would plunge into the dark waters below, but it hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes only through sheer willpower, but sometimes because the dark water itself is further away. I can feel like... the watchful pressure of it still, like if I’m not careful I could slip and fall from the bridge in a second. And there are days when the spray still hits me and I can’t get it out of my eyes or my ears or my head. But. There’s no doubt I’m going better than ever before. I am cautiously taking steps forward and feeling lighter.

In February, I will:

- write at least 330 words a day, but aim for more. 

- read a book a week.

- write another letter or two, if given the opportunity.

- keep adding to the commonplace book.

- do the first practice “episode” of the podcast.

- continue to be open with writing, and flourish. 

- turn electronics off by ten-thirty. 

- play games often! If you run out of Okami, maybe rebound by starting Pyre or any of the other ones you’ve been sitting on? Or replay Bastion. Whatever works.

- pick a spot to use as your Loud Place, and just... say a whole lot of whatever. Whatever comes to mind, whatever lights your fire. Talk about your characters, your interests, the tropes and archetypes and whatnot you fucking love, make recommendations and natter about what you’re reading, toss out bits of writing if you like, be obnoxious if you have to! It’s more important to be excited and engaged and expressive than being “cool.” Those who don’t try never look foolish, but those who are afraid of looking foolish never achieve anything. 

- see The Shape of Water somehow. 

[storiesforpatreon]

#001 — Stories I Will Not Ever Or Have Not Yet Published Publicly (A.K.A. “Secret Stories” #001)

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

Metro-Detroit, Michigan

Accompanying video link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpIPIjh_BEQ&feature=youtu.be

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This post illustrates how lengthy I can be if I do not check myself. This post is why I try to keep videos short. I go on for too long. I suppose this exists for posterity’s sake. It fills in the details better for the things discussed today. I will absolutely never be as organized as John Wesley, but I certainly am nearly as talkative as the man was. Hahaha.

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0.   BLUR

I messed up. I forgot to set the focus on my face after I set it on the camera straps. Yeesh. A lesson for next time. And, I will remind you—that was my fifth try at the video! Hahaha.

1.  MARCY AND TYLER

A couple weeks back, my assistant and I met this wonderful couple in Detroit. One was from my neck of the woods (30 miles north of downtown Detroit at 15 Mile Road and Harper Avenue in Clinton Township); one was from Grand Rapids (2-3 hours away from the city). They are two young aspiring actors. We had so many laughs. I took them to Greektown and Hart Plaza and up Washington Blvd and Woodward Blvd. I took them to the Fox Theatre and the David Klein Gallery and past a few other noteworthy places. It was glorious. One day I will get along to culling the hundreds of photos that my assistant and I took of them.

 2. DOMINIC

As my assistant kept getting lost in Detroit, I happened upon a truly unexpected photography opportunity. I had to holler at her to come over. Haha. She was walking about the median of the street. Dominic wanted to me to photograph his friend and himself coming out of the limo and going into the restaurant. He said he was going to pay me extra at the end of the little shoot. It was 10:20 pm, so I thought I would be done by 12:20 am. I made sure to keep a regular watch on the time. He asked what my rate was, and I told him that we could talk about that later (I have never had a “rate”). It was clear that he hardly knew the girl that came over. He was using my assistant and I to make him look “important.” He said we were his paparazzi. Hahaha. His buddy backed up his claim. What Dominic had claimed was a possible marriage proposal to a serious girlfriend was likely actually a first or maybe second date with a girl. A second girl arrived, and she was not comfortable with the cameras, so Dominic said he was happy with our work thusfar. We left. I had $200 in cash, and my assistant had $15 in cash. This was fair, since she had no clue what she was doing the whole time. She kept pulling me aside and telling me her photos were blurry or too bright or too dark, so I would trade her cameras. When I would then use the camera she had, I was able to get good photos. I still am dumbfounded as to how she was having such a hard time photographing. We traded cameras many times. When I got back home, I looked at the shots before I went to bed. She had a few good ones but a lot of bad ones. It is a learning experience for her, and she got $15 for an hour’s work. That is the same rate that makes up the independent living wage here in Michigan. That is good money. That is the rate that the photographer that I want to work with offered to start me at. That was not good enough for my assistant. She shook me down for more money. I have never taken a cab or uber before, so I gave her the $20 that the restaurant folks gave me. I was infuriated. For context, this girl has no need for money ever. In midtown, at Wayne State University, there is a law building named after her grandfather. Her family has a membership to the Detroit Athletic Club (the most expensive place to have a wedding in the state). She has 18th century furniture from England (that she is trying to get rid of) and ~2000 year old Chinese tapestries and Japanese samurai swords at her house. She has a $40K emerald ring from the 1920’s. She has no need for cash. She was just being very petty. She likes that I am doing something meaningful, so she comes along. I work light. I never eat in the city unless she wants to pay (I would rather work than spend cash on food). I don’t live frivolously. She has never paid me, and I have never paid her—until today. She got that cash from me, and I felt used. I suppose it hurts the most when you are betrayed by someone you count on and hope to trust in.

 3. D600 SENSOR

The Nikon D600 has a physical issue involving its shutter mechanism. Nikon used to make all their gear in Japan, where they are based; now they make most of their gear in China, and that has resulted in poorer build quality. That is one reason why I love my cheap, old, manual focus Nikon lenses. They were all HAND MADE!! That is amazing! That also makes them simpler to repair. If something can be assembled by hand, it must also be easier to disassemble and reassemble it by hand too (compared to something produced by a specialized machine). The shutter on the D600 sloughs off plastic bits from the shutter and also spits oil droplets onto the camera’s image sensor. That is akin to a camera doing that to the film inside of the camera body. The thing that makes this worse than if it was a film body is that you are stuck with the same sensor, so that means you have to be careful to keep it clean. I took my two cameras in to be cleaned it was $25 per camera, and the guy, Joel, did both for $40. On top of that, he gave me two camera straps for free! I knew I wanted to buy a vintage strap for the D600. I just think they are classier. Plus, they are WAY cheaper than a $50 boring, modern strap! I remembered they had a good selection of old, used straps from before. Well, they only had three left this time. I bought the last one for $5. I knew when I did that he might have given that to me for free too, but it was not right after he had saved me $20 between the cleanings and the straps. I think he admired my passion for photography. We had a glorious conversation about photography. I had him check out my D200, and he cleaned it for free! Hahaha. This was in part because he sold the D200 to me, and the camera had a speck underneath the sensor (a $100+ fix at a different store), which was impossible to clean without a very expensive procedure. This speck was likely there before I bought the camera. I did not notice it until he pointed it out to me. Perhaps that was why he was so nice. Haha. I brought in some of my old lenses and asked him questions about them. I joked that he was around and a working photographer when these lenses were produced, so he should know more than me about them. Hahaha. I have this macro lens I got for $10 (usually around $100 used) that would not stop down (let the aperture get narrower). I thought it was missing the aperture. He said that the lens likely had oil that leaked on the aperture that made it recede into the lens. All I would have to do is take apart the lens and wipe off the oil spot, and it would work like it was brand new. That is amazing! I guess the new, plastic lenses are not as fixable as the old metal ones. I mentioned that cars used to be able to be repaired at any gas station (or at least I heard). He said that his present car’s headlights cost $200 to replace, since the engineers designed the bulbs to only be accessible by getting to them beneath the engine! Hahaha. It really was a wonderful talk.  

 4. STRAP FOR ASSISTANT

I sewed cotton batting, fleece, nylon trim and elastic together (along with a 9” zipper) to make the ultimate comfortable strap for my assistant to use with the “new” (used) 2012 Nikon D600 camera. That took nine hours. I got another strap from a camera store for $3 (again, the only vintage strap they had on hand), and I have poured 12-20 hours (so far!) into that $3 strap to hopefully try to improve upon the original modification to the other strap. Maybe if I can do this to a few straps, I will make a video for it. I just sit and sew as I listen to Al Mohler’s “The Briefing” or “The World and Everything In It” (my two favorite weekday news podcasts) or a B&H Photo lecture on some photographic topic.

 5. RODE MICROPHONE

This microphone is invaluable for video making. It is the standard microphone used on the streets by YouTubers just as the microphone I used in this video is the standard one used at home by many YouTubers.

 6. LACUNA IN VIDEOS MADE

Lacuna

[luh-kyoo-nuh]

noun, plural lacunae [luh-kyoo-nee], lacunas.

1. a gap or missing part, as in a manuscript, series, or logical argument; hiatus.

2. Anatomy. one of the numerous minute cavities in the substance of bone, supposed to contain nucleate cells.

3. Botany. an air space in the cellular tissue of plants.

Origin of lacuna — Latin  —  1655-1665  —  1655-65; Latin lacūna ditch, pit, hole, gap, deficiency, akin to lacus vat, lake1. Cf. lagoon

 7. CAMPING JAKE DAD AND STRAP

My best friend’s step mom and actual dad both died of cancer in 2016. This camping trip was a chance to spread his dad’s ashes. The last time he went on a vacation was the last time he and I camped there. It was a very good week to decompress. I sewed the whole time. I knew I would have trouble reading a book during the down time there. Jake rented an RV for the week. Haha. His brother was sick and stayed in the whole week watching The Three Stooges and Abbott and Costello movies (we are a classy bunch). His girlfriend (who I forgot to mention was there) stayed in and texted much of the time. His mother and sister only showed up for a day and then went home. That left him and I to sit by the fire and talk and talk as I sewed. We biked and hit up the beach that was immediately beyond our site. Haha. It was only maybe $150 for five days and four nights for the six of us (though not all of us stayed the whole time). That is a deal for being right on the beach! The RV was a different story. He paid for that himself. I thought I was going to sleep in a tent, but the RV had room for me, and he insisted I stay there. Haha. What a glamorous way to camp. Jake, his brother, and I remember the other side of camping. I guess one time, there was this horrible storm, and our tent was leaking from above and flooding from beneath. I slept through the nearly whole thing. Jake and Justin were frantically trying to patch up the top of the tent with a tarp. Haha. finally, I awoke and was very confused as to what was going on! Hahaha. Jake, Justin (his little brother), and I have a legion of stories like this. Haha. Needless to say, this was a huge upgrade. I would have been more than happy, though, to sleep in a tent. I got to know the people at the general store at the camp site (it was right next to our spot). The lady, Kris, there told me that we had the worst spot in the park, since is was the first one to flood whenever there was a good rain. I told her that I knew it flooded, but I did not know it was so particularly bad in that way! Haha. Jake and Justin got a good laugh from that. Hahaha.

 8. WALK AND TALK ARE FUN BUT LONG

Well, I forgot to mention this in the video. I am having trouble getting the Walk and Talk videos to be edited, since there is just so much footage to comb through. My solution is to set a time limit when I am in the city to use for shooting the video. This will combine the sublime structure of a lesson with the equally exquisite openness of the walk-along video. I just have so much fun making the walk-along videos, and I think that happiness and energy help make those installments more compelling than the more formal lesson videos. I really need to find a way to marry the two. To do a candid walk around that contains a lesson on a topic. For some reason, I am too dumb (for now) to figure out how that would work.

 9. EMAILED PHOTOGRAPHER - ONE AT A TIME

Parmenides (the founder of western philosophy, who said “whatever is is.”). I say “Parmenides” to say “it is what it is.” Haha. I emailed the guy. That is what it is. Haha. There is little more to explain here. I hope he hires me.

10. HOW DO I HAVE A BETTER WITNESS IN DETROIT

This is an ongoing desire. I need to find my angle. I am cut to the quick. It is said that George Whitfield could not go more than half of an hour without telling someone of the Grace and of Christ on sinners. He just was a bloodstained believer with a holy fire in his belly. I need to get my way of being as the greatest evangelist of the past 2000 years was. Even D. Martin Lloyd Jones said he would give up anything to have even just a week of George Whitfield’s life. The man was that effective and great.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale Review

Spoiler Warning for the entirety of Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale.

  Some movies are made for a single moment.

  For Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale, that moment is when Yui appears in the middle of the film's final battle—a showdown with the boss of the Aincrad Castle's Floor 100—bringing with her all of Kirito and Asuna's friends from stories past. There's a swell of music (the tune's called "let's join swords," and it's a remix of the franchise's most memorable track, "swordland"), and suddenly we see the silhouettes of Kirito's iconic dual blade against the backlighting. Along with back-up, Yui returns to Kirito and Asuna their appearances and weapons from the original Sword Art Online game, and the entire group explodes into frenetic action that carries through until final moment of the battle. 

  If you have even a shred of fondness for Sword Art Online as a franchise, particularly the Aincrad arc, this moment alone is worth seeing Ordinal Scale for. It's the moment the entire film drives toward, a rush of near-euphoric glee enough to make me scream with delight under my breath in the theater. It's been five years since the first season of Sword Art Online began airing and nearly three since SAO II ended, so it feels like we've been without new Sword Art Online long enough for it to feel like an event of the past (despite the continual chatter following the show since then). This, in turn, gives us enough space from the early days of Sword Art Online, the time when it truly felt new, that Ordinal Scale can actually get away with remembering Aincrad, both as an motion within the film itself and outside it with the fans.

    I walk into my local showing of Ordinal Scale about 30 minutes before the film began, wondering what kind of crowd I'm going to see. An awkward pass in front of the screen looking for a seat later, I'm reassured that this won't be like some of my other anime filmgoing experiences, as the crowd is substantial—and boisterous. Occasional laughs about the "super easy" quiz questions rotating on the screen pepper the dull buzz of conversation; I hear one girl mutter "Must get" to herself with a vengeance upon seeing an ad for the recently released SAO mobile phone game. And although less interested in the welcome messages from LiSA, Haruka Tomatsu (Asuna), and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka (Kirito) before the film begins, by the final corny slow-motion fist pump from Matsuoka, a genuine cheer finally emerges from the crowd before giving way to silence and the movie's opening moments.

  Whatever else was true of my company for Ordinal Scale, one thing was certain: these people were fans of Sword Art Online. And that was good, because this movie—all else aside—is for fans of Sword Art Online.

  I'm no stranger to being a fan of things generally, but as a fan of Sword Art Online (it was one of the first anime I watched once I'd finally figured out what "anime" was and decided I wanted more) it was delightful to see Ordinal Scale speaking a language only those who care about this franchise—warts and all—can understand. In the moment when we see Starburst Stream unleashed once again or Yuuki's spirit embracing Asuna as the Mother's Rosario Sword Skill appears in a burst of purple lights, the film clearly, unavoidably asks but one thing of its audience: "Remember. Because if you remember how you felt when you watched Sword Art Online, this is for you."

    So, that's the fanservice angle, but what's really neat about Ordinal Scale is that it pulls this metatextual conversation with its fans into the actual text of the film itself. The primary conflict in Ordinal Scale is, at its most basic level, one dealing with the importance of memories—specifically those of Aincrad. Memories that are immeasurably painful for some and bittersweet for others. One of Sword Art Online's ongoing themes has been a question of the validity and value of virtual experiences (although this idea's traced an admittedly inconsistent arc throughout the franchise's various stories), and so Ordinal Scale putting Asuna's memories of her time in Sword Art Online (the game) on the line aligns it strongly with this tradition—and, by the end of the film, doubles down on the Aincrad arc's very serious affirmation of the worth of such experiences. 

  So when Ordinal Scale instructs the audience to dig into their own memories, it marries the meaningfulness of the fan's memory to those that Kirito, Asuna, and their friends hold dear. Whether or not the memories were all good or all bad matters little—rather, the key is that they mean something to them (and, ultimately, carry tangible weight in the real world as well). In some ways this parallels the fan act of immersing yourself in a show, finishing it, and then fondly carrying on the memories of your time in the world with you as you move on with your life—possibly even allowing them to affect who you are as a person. Of course, it's not like this kind of unity between fanservice and themes is anything new, but it's certainly enjoyable to experience it with Ordinal Scale if, like me, you do carry some measure of affection for SAO.

  This kind of textual/audience resonance aside, as a film for fans, Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale succeeds because it reaches for and achieves a single peak of unadulterated fan joy. It can be watched, thought of, and loved purely in these terms. That single shot of Kirito once again becoming the Black Swordsman who saved Aincrad justifies the entire movie. It was the only thing the film needed to do.

      On the other hand, there are still 2+ hours of film that aren't that moment, I think it's still necessary that I note that on the whole Ordinal Scale is a surprisingly detached movie. While Ordinal Scale is certainly a more restrained, mature take on the world of SAO, at the same times it feels like it looses some of its charm in the attempt to present itself this way. The crisper, flatter character designs lend themselves less to diverse facial expressions than the more cartoony and moe designs from the TV series, and when paired with the lack of interesting character acting animation, the vividness of these characters had in the TV series finds itself drowning somewhat in the darker, grittier, colder world of augmented reality. It's without a doubt satisfying to see Kirito and Asuna looking and behaving like the young adults preparing to head off to college that they are, but I can't help but feel that the overall effect is one that makes the whole film feel rather cool in a way that lacks the passionate spirit of Kirito's over-the-top video game coolness from the TV series.

  There's also a disappointing lack of immediacy in film's cinematography, which relies heavily on long shots that place the characters in large backgrounds and distance them from the camera. Director Tomohiko Ito and his friend Takahiro Shikama shared storyboarding duties for the film [1], and both have proven to be excellent at the task in past works like the Sword Art Online and ERASED, but the direction in Ordinal Scale is depressingly lifeless outside of the more dynamic action scenes, completely lacking the engaging energy of the TV series. One scene that's emblematic of this problem occurs midway through the film. Following Yuuna, Kirito finds himself on a bridge in the virtual world and talks with her. Framed with a long shot, we can only see the barest outline of each character's face, and even as Yoshitsugu Matsuoka's voice rises along with Kirito's frustration, all we see is Kirito walking in a basic cycle across the bridge towards Yuuna. The direction completely sucks the power out of the encounter—a frustrating pattern that recurs throughout the movie.

    Happily, the story and script have a bit more of a spark to them, although the former is disconnected and the latter somewhat inane. It's fortunate that the key to the story of Ordinal Scale is, basically, that for the first time since Aincrad we finally have Asuna and Kirito's relationship back in the spotlight. Despite many battles that frankly don't always feel like they have actual stakes and the script's amusing failed attempts portraying friendly banter between Kirito and Asuna's group of friends (someone says something vaguely amusing, the rest of the group gently laughs), it's the promise that our two heroes made back on the 28th floor that holds it all together. If the final boss battle is the film's justification for existing, then it's Kirito and Asuna seeing the stars together at the film's end (and having their kiss interrupted by Yui lol) that validates the story.

  Which, really, is just to say that Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale is, at heart, Sword Art Online—a sometimes bumbling, sometimes ineffective, impossibly dorky, and charming invention with nothing but the best of intentions. SAO being SAO, this was never going to be a perfectly crafted movie—but it captures so many of the charms of the franchise whilst also avoiding nearly all of its most aggravating faults. It may be a few dozen minutes longer than it needs to be, undercut its own the drama by putting off the twists until near the end of the film, and lack the personality-driven dialogue that could really have made its characters come to life on the big screen, but it's still trying to be good and succeeding just often enough that I can't find it in my heart to ignore those efforts. 

  And, again: Yui appears, the Black Swordsman and Lighting Flash Asuna return. That was everything. And it was glorious.

[1] Thanks to Canipa from the Canipa Effect for making available his list of the full animation staff for the film. Be sure to check out his video breaking down the film's staff and the paths they took to this movie.

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Isaac eases his compulsive need to write about anime on his blog, Mage in a Barrel. He also sometimes hangs out on Tumblr, where he mainly posts his drawing practice as he seeks to become a renowned idol and robot fanartist. You can follow him on Twitter at @iblessall or on Facebook.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com