#when I tell you I am SICK of it

[natreads]

Hopefully the last snow of the year

[scribefindegil]

When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."

Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.

If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?

Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.

If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.

The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.

As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.

The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.

Example:

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.

[l-tora-l]

HOYOFAIR : The engines are heated, and we have our racers, technicians, and a... poet!? 2 days left, stay tuned to HoYoFair2024!

[shepscapades]

This one was a freaking doozy. If I keep talking i think i may be in trouble

[lotus-pear]

doing a social experiment where i am introducing my friend to bungou stray dogs solely through knkdz content/official art and portraying kunikida and dazai as the "main" implied relationship in bsd. no skk, she does not know chuuya, i have not mentioned chuuya, and she will not meet chuuya until episode nine. this is solely for the purpose of seeing whether or not new bsd fans' pyscholgies are skewed bc of skk or whether they start the show solely for them. after she meets chuuya i'll ask her which pairing she prefers more

[bonefall]

I understand being upset by the moonpaw dog post but i dont think talking about some random teen publicly (on a pretty big fandom blog) as opposed to like, dming them about it, is a very nice thing to do? Would recommend keeping that kinda gossip in dms going forward personally.

??????? "That kinda gossip???"

Saying that it's fucked up that a publicly posted incest joke about how deformed she should look went to the top of the Warrior Cats and Moonpaw tags, is gossip???

TRENDING TAGS?? GOSSIP?

I'm not talking about "some random teen," I have not even dropped a username and been VERY clear I don't want harassment of anyone. During this discussion about wider ableism against Moonpaw, I've directly answered two anons about the contents of a post that was/IS extremely popular to the tune of nearly a thousand notes.

One of those two asks was an anon who only stumbled in to say that the post was funny in a display of SHOCKING tonedeafness, while I was talking about how shitty it is to compare people who are the products of incest to unethical dog breeds, especially in the context of WC. The other was an actual XX/XY chimera who expressed that the extremely popular post hurt their feelings, and when they tried to express discomfort to someone, got told they "probably killed their twin in the womb."

It's not just one rando weenie little blog the minute half of the Tumblr space is openly laughing at a joke about deformed incest kids and hoping Moonpaw dies because she's so "gross." Not nice?? Your feelings are hurt? OTHER people's feelings were ALREADY hurt.

NOTHING about this was "nice" to begin with!

Difference is, when YOU cry me a river, you can build me a bridge, and get right the fuck over it. A person who's the product of incest cries and has to go right back to every shitty banjo-hunchback-hapsburg joke they've heard before, just feeling more unsafe about a space that PRETENDS to care about the abuse they experienced. If you feel guilty about that, maybe you should!

If you were under the impression I was ever "nice" about bigotry, you were mistaken. I don't appreciate calls for ME to be more polite when I'm at a trend of fandom ableism and calling it fucked up. I've named NO names. Sounds like what you ACTUALLY want is for people like me who have a platform to shut up.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Alhaitham referring to kaveh in ways which acknowledge his skill, and kaveh perceiving it as sarcasm, even though alhaitham refers to kaveh in the same ways when kaveh isn’t present is driving me a little bit insane - especially what this prompts the player to question!!

When we first meet kaveh in the archon quest the relationship between him and alhaitham is presented to us as “terrible” (courtesy of npc geoff who introduces kaveh’s return to sumeru city), and the cutscene in the house of daena demonstrates what this entails, being that the two cannot see eye to eye, and, seemingly don’t hold each other in high regard.

Alhaitham seemingly refers to kaveh’s genius in a sarcastic light and kaveh claims to despise talking to alhaitham because of his arrogance.

Looking to kaveh’s hangout, however, when the player has a one-on-one with alhaitham, the player gets a glimpse into alhaitham’s personal understanding of kaveh, and with this, his own views on kaveh.

Within this exchange between him and the player, Alhaitham uses Kaveh’s title without sarcasm, sincerely praising him and his skills, elevating him over ‘less skilled’ architects and asserting that Kaveh should have more confidence in his work.

The reason that Alhaitham does not openly praise Kaveh is stated here, being that “admonitions” will serve no purpose due to people being prone to fall into “similar pitfalls”, and that people should have the right to lead their own life, rather than have it interfered upon by others

The reading here is that even if Alhaitham did openly praise Kaveh, no difference would be made in Kaveh’s thinking. Yet, by refraining from praise, and instead goading, by this logic, this also makes no difference. Therefore, the question is raised, ‘why can Alhaitham praise Kaveh to the player, and not to Kaveh himself?’

When Alhaitham praises Kaveh’s work within Kaveh’s hangout it is through there being no record of issues in the reconstruction of port ormos, which is something kaveh states first - in this context, alhaitham notes the work as an “impressive achievement”, which kaveh assents to, as there is no standing in which this can be debated. Kaveh cannot resent a compliment steeped in fact, even from alhaitham

The problem, then, is rooted in alhaitham’s delivery, which relates to their core issue of miscommunication. Referring back to their exchange in the House of Daena, it is observed that Alhaitham uses similar descriptors of Kaveh to Kaveh, similar to the descriptors he uses to the Traveler in Kaveh’s hangout, however, Kaveh perceives these words as sarcasm.

This highlights the miscommunication between them and can aid in answering the question why Alhaitham cannot be open with Kaveh, as he will be misconstrued.

​Through Alhaitham’s repeated elusions to Kaveh when he is not present and his open esteem of Kaveh and his work to the Traveler, Kaveh’s assertion that Alhaitham holds him in a negative light is proved incorrect. This serves to highlight the miscommunication between the two, causing the player to question why they hold such contrasting views of the other.

Clearly, there is a reason why Alhaitham cannot openly express his regard of Kaveh to Kaveh, but this reason is obscure to both kaveh and the player.

In terms of queer subtext it’s pretty interesting that alhaitham’s high regard for kaveh is shown within the surface text and yet the reason for this secrecy is never made explicit within the story’s surface and is only to be inferred from alhaitham’s and kaveh’s character stories.

In terms of the two functioning as mirrors, the fact that the knowledge that alhaitham cannot outright compliment kaveh 1) is not only due to their past argument and lost friendship and 2) is also due to his awareness that kaveh cannot accept goodwill, is only obtainable by reading both kaveh and alhaitham’s character stories shows how intertwined they are as characters - you cannot fully understand one without the other

(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)

[labratboygirl]

kinito art dump from the past few days

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[flipstick]

Literacy challenge! Are these depicted characters fat?

The answer is Yes! and if you have a problem with people drawing that Congratulations! You're an asshole!

[thefishdeath]

Never feel more masc then the times I try to look fem

[trashnotfound]

The writers have such a good way to really give wyldfyre some major backstory here, explain why she acts the way she does, but also why she was so defiant on being a ninja! And basically becoming a part of the family. We know from her that she has witnessed many dragons pass from the wasting sickness. To the point where heatwave is the only one she had left.

she is so scared of witnessing the people and things she loves suffer, of experiencing great loss and grief, she was too scared to become a ninja. She didn’t want to join the family. Not because she’s selfish, not because she’s doesn’t care for them, But because she’s afraid to be apart of a something again. She finally decided maybe it was worth it, she really bonded with Kai, she saw him as her family (I don’t think she’d know what a dad is ??) then he gets ripped away from her as quickly as he came. She didn’t even get to say goodbye, she witnessed it with her own eyes and couldn’t go anything to stop it.

It could be a really good learning arc for her, that loss is apart of life, it hurts ( she probably didn’t have the usual talk all kids hear when their first pet dies, because she wasn’t raised by humans. And from zanes experience with grief. I don’t think robot’s completely understand it until it happens. So she probably wants taught it) But that shouldn’t stop you from loving people, that shouldn’t stop you from being apart of something, of being loved. Loss is the reason you love those people so much, because eventually you won’t be able tell them anymore, so you do it as much as you can now. Not hide away from that feeling, don’t push it down.

*this next part is spoilers for pt 2 s2 of dr*

It could also play really well into her having her love interest (bf, because rn I refuse to believe this is the wyldfyre who is getting one 😭 ) she’s gonna be scared of getting close to him, of the feelings she’s experiencing.

Maybe he helps her with he grief of loosing Kai, so they bond quiet well, but she doesn’t want to do anything about her feeling for him because she doesn’t want to get hurt again. Nya could help her, talk her through what she’s feeling. Tell her about how Kai and her lost their parents really young, she found love really young, and they faced many challenges together in their relationship. No matter how hard it was for nya and jay to love eachother they always did. Because love IS worth it. Platonic or romantic. Hopefully Wyldfyre will realise these, want to be a family, want to love people. she will learn to embrace the hurt and the pain it brings.

Wow this felt like s rant but I have so many ideas for this, they can’t hint to wyldfyre angst and not do anything with it!! I really really hope they pull something like this off. It would be so good for her as a character.

[letitbehurt]

When Whumpee is so sick that they’re crying in pain and frustration as they beg Whumper for medicine, but when Whumper finally gives them some, the “medicine” is actually a drug that will make the sickness much worse.

[starry-skies-116]

aye guys just went into the pro-choice tag and holy fucking shit the amount of christian pro-lifers willing to fuck over ppl with uteruses is insane. goddamn such a good thing I didnt throw up in my mouth right then and there.

reblog if you're sick of people telling you what to do with your own fucking body and just want to live your own goddamn life. im sick of being guilt-tripped into wanting to value the 'lives' of an unborn, un-sentient mass of flesh before my own life, a living fucking being with dreams and wishes and feelings and all that good package deal shit that cOMES WITH BEING A FUCKING HUMAN.

do not try to tell me my existence is fucking 'wrong' or 'selfish'. what you're actually trying to do is get me to live in fear of my own body and my own damn life like I always have been. PRO-LIFERS AND ANTI-ABORTION DNI. I WILL BLOCK YOUR ASSES AND THAT IS A GODDAMN PROMISE.

[myfairkatiecat]

Never thought I’d have to block someone for patronizing me while I’m trying to explain the difference to them between two very different verbs but here we are

[lucrezianoin]

Well, so my third attempt this year to find out what my chronic pain is ended up in another failure

Last year I completely gave up after too many random diagnosis and no solution. I'm trying again:

- gynecologist asked me if I wanted the pill if I had pain during my period (the pain is constant it just gets more intense during my period and my period is much more heavy as well since last year), the rest of the cancer test were clear

- GP says maybe it's stomach (?? Pain is under my ribs so I guess it could be), she gives me anti acid to try. The anti acid makes me feel so sick I stop at day six.

- I go back for blood tests, all clear. The GP is like okay bye, and I'm like ?? I still have pain?? Like I am missing so many working days. So she gives me ibuprofen (now keep in mind she thought it was my stomach before, and now she's giving me something that is usually not kind on the stomach). She tells me take it for two weeks every time you have pain (which would be every day for me)

And I'm like.. okay... And then she says something like "unfortunately it's impossible to know what it is, maybe it's your depression"

Now, I'm not depressed. I've not been diagnosed with depression. I take ADHD medications. This is the third time she calls them "anti depressants" and she tells me I have depression. I don't??

So I decided to go to a private clinic for an ultrasound, on my own. I don't understand why Doctors in Germany are like this. I've lived in three different countries and this is the only one where I've seen this level of incompetence, rudeness and disregard. If you're not immediately dying then it's "depression" (even if you are not diagnosed with it and don't have it).