#when i do i only have very stressful dreams or just straight up nightmares l

[bluemoongoth]

babygirl i have anxiety issues you would never have thought of

[infernal-fire]

suburban dream

summary: how do you wake up from a nightmare? is it a nightmare if you’ve been asleep the whole time?

major warnings: noncon/dubcon smut, stalking, mention of pregnancy, some cum play (check the prompts for indications of other warnings)

a/n: this is for @iraot​’s 1.1k writing challenge. BIG congrats on 1.1k (i cannot explain how glad i am that others get to read your amazing work) and another BIG thank you for hosting this challenge.

Here are the results of my wheel spins:

Kink wheel: daddy kink, somnophilia, breeding kink Character wheel: Jake Jensen Situation wheel: Neighbours AU

You let out a breath of relief as you dropped the last brown box into the corner of the room. How you managed to own this much stuff, you’d never know. Glanced around the living room, it was difficult to decide where to begin. After much contemplation, you huffed and picked up the pizza catalogue, deciding to call it a day. 

It was unbearable to leave the house in the mess that it was. On the other hand, your right hip wailed in agony every time you bent down. Lacking the much-needed support of friends or family, you had no option but to suck it up and unpack… but that can wait till tomorrow. 

Fishing out just the necessities for the night, you climbed up the stairs and headed into the master bedroom. Massive house for one person, you noted. You did insist that an apartment would suffice but Tony was a stickler for rules.

All Stark employees have to be residents of a Stark-Jensen neighbourhood. 

Before getting the job, you weren’t even aware that “Stark-Jensen” neighbourhoods were a thing; it was a term coined by the tech company itself, referring to neighbourhoods that are protected by Stark-Jensen technology. The crime rate in these neighbourhoods are always startlingly low, the odd criminal or two being from inside the community itself. All things considered, how could you say no to free housing? 

Sure, the security measures assured that you never had to worry, but it also made you wonder why they were there in the first place. This place was as secure as the Stark Tower; why? You tried not to ask too many questions, afraid of getting on Tony’s bad side. Besides, it isn’t characteristic of him to give you a straight answer anyway. 

Life is good, your most harrowing concern at the moment being that your new place had no curtains. It had been a long time since things were calm and you were just recognizing that your days had been free of storms for some time now. Counting your blessings for the second time that night, you stepped into the shower and reminded yourself of all the things to be grateful for. 

To say you were in a good mood was an understatement. You finished your night routine right as the pizza was delivered and excitedly skipped down. No one told you how fun living alone was but they didn’t need to - you quickly found that independence is a glorious necessity in everyone’s life.

Jake stood bewildered at your person throwing the door open. He gripped the pizza box tight to ensure he didn’t drop it and continued to look at you like you had grown a third head. He never was very good with his words, but your beauty truly inhibited his ability to think.

“Hi?” you asked.

“Hey, I-I’m your neighbour, Jake. Saw that you were moving in and I came to ask if you need any help.” 

“Oh,” you contemplated, looking past him. “Where’s the pizza person?”

“I paid for it. Housewarming gift?” he  said like a question and handed it over. 

You received the warm box and waited for him to say something as he fiddled with his hands. His smile looks so familiar but you couldn’t place your finger on it. 

“So…Do you need help?” He looked up right at the end. You grinned at how shy he was.

“I would really appreciate the help tomorrow,” you replied casually. 

“Oh, so… I’ll come by tomorrow morning?” He looked hopeful, as if you were the one handing him the olive branch. You took a once-over of his build, sure that he would come handy when your hip gives up again and nodded in response. 

He nodded back slowly and turned around to leave, but seeing him at your doorstep felt eerily similar to a puppy left out in the rain. 

“I don’t think I can finish this pizza alone,” you called out. He turned around, a glint of happiness apparent in the shine of his eyes. 

“Do you have time to help me with this right now?” It was your turn to look hopeful and you really hoped this cutie took the bait.

He did. 

You couldn’t ignore the nagging at the back of your head that you had seen him somewhere. You also couldn’t dismiss the fact that dinner together was just a little awkward. The conversation started off with small talk, and it didn’t take a genius to tell that neither of you enjoyed it. Luckily, it shifted to talks about the neighbourhood and your old job. After that, the words flowed easily, the two of you bonding like you had known each other forever. Although it was smooth sailing, you couldn’t help but wonder how he knows so much about the neighbourhood security measures. When he mentioned that he had lived there for about 6 years, you chalked it up to a simple accumulation of knowledge he must’ve acquired from being around for so long. 

“So everyone who lives around here works for Stark-Jensen, right?” you questioned, trailing your finger on the rim of your second wine glass for the night.

“Yeah, for the most part. Though it’s hard to tell who works for who.”

You chuckled in agreement.

“What is it with that? I mean, I work for Stark, and my colleagues, too… but exclusively for Stark. Jensen does exist right?”

“Yeah,” he snickered, “He does. Stark makes the tech and Jensen does the coding.”

“So they’re a two-man team, but Tony’s the face of the company? Seems sort of unfair,” you muttered, quirking your brow a little. 

Jake smiled at your comment, glanced at his hands and looked back up at you. 

“Maybe he wants it to be that way.” He nudged his glasses up and took a little sip of his wine while peering at you. 

You cocked your head to the side and considered the information. Your head was hazy and you needed to stop drinking; alcohol and cute guys are not a good mix. 

“Wait.” You squinted at him. 

“Does that mean you’re a Stark-Jensen employee?” 

He let out a chortle and took your glass from you. 

“Hey, hey I want that back!” you whined, not even caring that you’re embarrassing yourself. 

“I think that’s enough for today.” He gently helped you up, waiting for you to move. 

“I can usually handle my liquor,” you promised, clinging onto his broad form for support. 

He started moving you up to your lone mattress in the corner of your room, softly laying you down. 

“Jake,” you caught his arm. “You didn’t answer the question. Do you work for Stark-Jensen?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

You pouted at his answer, still gripping his wrist like you owned him. He tenderly pried your fingers off him and placed them on your belly. 

“See you tomorrow,” he mumbled as he left your room. You drifted asleep easily, blissfully unaware of how you’d never be able to live down the humiliation of your drunken stupor. 

The next day, you hoped Jake wouldn’t show up. It would save you from the burning heat that crept up your neck every time you recalled the night before.

Unfortunately, Jake had found it way too amusing an opportunity to tease you, showing up at your doorstep at 10 AM on the dot. 

The day went on without a hitch, the conversation picking up easily from where you left off. Jake found it endearing when you groaned at the mention of your state, only after three glasses of wine. The question of his employment never crossed your mind again, both of you having way too much fun unpacking. You felt ten times better knowing that your neighbour was a loveable, single, hunky nerd; it made the stress of settling in that much better. 

Of course, like all good things, the weekend came to an end. Monday morning, you eagerly prepped yourself for a new week at the office. Being Tony’s right hand took five rounds of interviews as well as background checks into every living relative you had. After the turbulent hiring process, you found that the job was not any easier. Luckily, the move had you feeling more thankful about being in sync with all the Stark tech; with FRIDAY managing your house and personal appointments, it was easier to keep track of Tony’s day. 

You stepped out of the house and shielded your eyes from the beautiful day. Just then, your lovely new friend stepped onto his porch wearing casual attire.

“Have fun at work!” he called after you.

“Thanks! Are you going to work?”

“Yes, I am.” You took in his outfit one more time, chuckling as you wondered what job would pay enough to live here while dressed in sweats.

“Well, in case I don’t see ya’... Good afternoon, good evening and good night!” you exclaim loudly. 

Jake giggled like a schoolboy and waved goodbye before ducking into his car. 

Tony’s 10 AM meeting has been pushed to 11 AM, Miss L/N. 

“No, no, that won’t do! He has another meeting at 12 PM, the timing will clash. FRIDAY, who was he supposed to meet at 10 AM?”

Speaking to the AI felt more like talking to yourself, but with time, you assured yourself that it would look as cool as Stark when handling your things.

He’s meeting Mr Jensen, the co-founder of Stark-Jensen. I believe you have not met him yet. 

“Yeah, I haven’t. Could you call him for me, FRIDAY?”

Sorry Miss L/N, Mr Jensen’s phone is switched off. He has already notified Tony of the change in plans. 

“What an asshole,” you grumbled. 

On the contrary, I think you would like Mr Jensen, Miss L/N.

“You can just call me Y/N, FRIDAY. Oh, and, send out a notification to all of today’s meeting hosts and tell them to push it by one hour. If they complain, send them my number to take up any problems they have.” 

It’ll be done by the time you reach your office. 

“Thank you,” you smiled and pulled into your parking spot, right beside Tony’s. 

It was hard to imagine what would’ve happened today if Tony didn’t give you access to FRIDAY. Calling each meeting host and personally asking them to push their meetings seemed like a tedious and mind-bending task. And frankly, you didn’t ever look forward to talking to Karen’s. But now, you would never have to know; FRIDAY was an absolute godsend. 

You stepped onto the other side of security clearance just as the clock struck 9 AM. Strutting up to your office, you made a mental checklist of everything you need to do during the day. Usually, Tony didn’t require you to sit in for his meetings. He has a different set of assistants for note-taking purposes. 

Too consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t notice the large picture of Jake and Tony sitting side by side on the wall beside the elevators. You also didn’t notice Jake’s smirk as he passed by you with ease. He would’ve stopped to say hi, but he knew that you didn’t realize who he was yet. Now he just had to figure out a way to get you to show up to his and Tony’s meeting and give you the heart attack of a lifetime. 

Beep, beep.

The Stark-watch buzzed on your wrist, letting you know that Tony was calling for you. You had barely even stepped into the elevator and he was already whining like a baby. 

You shook your head and stepped into the doorframe of his lab.

“Come here!” his voice called from the far end of a lab. Your suspicions of him being under the work table were confirmed when he wheeled out on his back and handed you a wrench. 

“Do me a favour. Tighten this for me?” 

He handed you the arm of an Iron Man suit, what you assumed was his latest mark. He already lived at the lab as it was, you wondered how he ever had time for Pepper. 

“Come on, put your arm into it L/N! You know what, you’re distracted, give it here.”

“Did you call me here to tighten your screws?” You shifted your weight onto one leg and crossed your arms. It was sassy of you, but Tony’s assistant needs to have some backbone, famously said by Rhodey.

“Well, you know me, screws always loose.” He knocked on his head and chuckled at his own joke. You sighed and turned to walk out. 

“I need you to sit in for my 11 o’clock. And cancel everything else today.”

You gasped and turned again, marching to where he was lying down. 

“Tony Stark, you have no regard for anyone’s time! I already pushed everything back by one hour because of your buddy Jensen and now you’re asking me to cancel everything?”

“I know, and I agree. I wish I could go to the mind-numbing meetings with corporate clowns, but I want to show you and Jensen something cool.”

He stopped fiddling with his toy just long enough to glance at you. 

You sighed and called for FRIDAY, groaning for the umpteenth time since that morning. Why were you acting like this was the first time he’s done this? It was probably your lack of energy from moving. You couldn’t wait to get home and maybe call Jake over for dinner. Now that you considered this possibility, time seemed to pass slower, but at least there was something worthwhile to look forward to. 

When 10:55 rolled around, you were sitting in Tony’s lab, patiently waiting as Tony set up his latest invention for demonstration. 

“Where’s your buddy?” you asked, checking your watch for the time again. 

“On his way,” he replied without turning away from his work. 

He paused and took a step back to admire his work before facing you. 

“You haven’t met Jake, have you?”

“Jake?”

Right on cue, Jake walked through the doors of the labs and you whipped around to find your grinning friend.

“Howdy neighbour,” Jake sneered. 

“Oh, right. You live beside each other,” Tony muttered as he gathered some more things from his desk. 

You shamelessly inhaled the pinewood and vanilla-infused scent of Jake as he sat down beside you. To have him so close to you was a dangerous thing, your cunt unknowingly clenching every time he moved his biceps. 

“Stop making heart-eyes at him.”

You threw whatever was in your hand at Tony’s head, and it happened to be a pen. It narrowly missed as he ducked and doubled over in laughter at your embarrassment. The bastard took sick pleasure in it so he often made it a point to humiliate you, but it usually wasn’t in front of the co-CEO of the world’s largest tech company. 

The rest of your time in that lab went on without any heart attacks - as far as anyone knew, the slick between your thighs doesn’t account for a ‘heart attack’, per se. You shouldn’t even be thinking about Jake like that. He was technically your boss too. 

Tony dismissed you at lunch and told you to take the rest of the day off, much to your delight. You slid into your car and dropped your head onto the steering wheel.

You had barely moved into the neighbourhood and you’re already finding ways to be fired.

~Time skip~

You sighed and laid back in the over-the-top maternity chair Jake got you for feeding. Your baby gurgled as curled his little fingers into his palm before knocking on your breast once. With a light chuckle, you cooed as the little bundle began falling asleep. 

This was the only place in the house that had a sliver of sunlight gracing the inside of the house. 

You could have outdoor privileges if you didn’t pull that little stunt. 

Could you really blame yourself for trying to leave? How were you to know that it’s impossible to leave a Stark-Jensen neighbourhood?

Because it says “Stark-Jensen” in the name, you dumbass. 

Fair enough.

You lost count of how many times you sigh on the daily, instead opting to count the number of times you’re able to hold off a mental breakdown. Today, you got the rare privilege of privacy, with Jake being gone to another one of Stark’s presentation.

You reminisced about the last time you sat in Tony’s lab and watched him explain his latest creation. Little did you know that the first time you sat with Jake in there would also be the last time you ever sat in there. 

You gently placed the Jim in the cradle. Again, one of the many over-the-top investments made by Jake to ensure the baby got state-of-the-art care. The way Jensen had made you sit beside him as he put the contraption together almost had you lurching. But you didn’t want to wake the baby. The horridness of the memories cannot outweigh your will to keep Jimmy from crying.

“Look at it!”, Jake excitedly spun the box to show you. It must’ve cost an unreasonable amount of money - not that he couldn’t spare to spend the coin, but the purchase confirmed your worst suspicions; he was serious about this all. 

Your eyes, puffy from the days of crying, were barely open. Yet you still nodded, figuring that if you put up with his enthusiasm now, he’ll let you go to sleep without raping you like he did every night. 

Anyway, you were wrong. 

When did everything go so wrong?; How?

You picked up your phone. Your eyes flickered between the only two contacts saved on it. Jake made sure you couldn’t do anything except call him or Tony.

You missed your ex-boss (who was always more of a friend to you). But, it was obvious that calling him wasn’t worth it and would rarely yield any fruitful conversation. Tony always spoke as if he were walking on glass around you and your words were always monitored and censored by Jake. It didn’t take long to figure that one out. 

“I don’t know what happened, Tony, she’s just unhinged,” Jake explained over the phone. In the background, you struggled against the bonds that held you to his bedframe. You sobbed harder into your gag and tried to scream ‘help’. All that came out was a shriek. 

“You hear her? She’s completely unfit to come into work… What happened? I don’t know man… She’s breaking down under all the stress. A few days of rest might do the trick. No, no, you don’t have to come down. I’ll take care of it.” 

He ended the call and you went limp, pausing your hysteria. He smiled at you as if he hadn’t kidnapped you. As if he hadn’t just made Tony believe that you were off your rockers. As if he hadn’t just fucked you five times over the span of 48 hours. 

He had planned every step of your entrapment to the letter and it was all going according to his plan.

You put your phone facedown on the dining table and walked back upstairs to your room. His room. Your room, too. 

Never, you internally screamed.

Well, it’s too late to debate it. 

You stood at the foot of your bed and traced the footboard. He took you countless amount of times on this bed and every instance held some clue that he was working up to what was happening now. You could see that now - but what was the point now?

You giggled as Jake pushed you onto his bed. Who knew this golden retriever could be so rough?

“Shhshshshhh” you slurred and Jake laughed in response. 

“Tony’s not here, baby,” he replied, climbing on top of you. 

“We’re not gonna get fired?” 

“He can’t fire me, sweetheart.”

“Oh… yeah.” You frowned, remembering that your risqué relationship was only risky for you. 

In your drunken haze, you didn’t realize Jake was rubbing his bulbous tip against your folds, gathering slick. 

“Condom?” 

“Don’t have,” Jake lied. 

“Oh,” you hesitated. 

“It’ll feel so good, baby.” He nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck and sunk in before you had the chance to protest. 

“Jakeeee,” you whined. Writhing under his grasp, you shook your head side-to-side as he vigorously fucked into you. 

He abruptly stopped and pulled out. “What have I said about saying my name?”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” you sheepishly say. 

“That’s right, slut. You’re gonna make me a daddy, right?” He pushed back in. 

“Yeah, you are. Gonna make me a daddy, so call me daddy.”

The implication of his words flew right over your head in your drunken haze and blank mind. Any ounce of sense that you had left was being fucked out by his thick length. 

“Gonna blow my load. Fill you tight cunt, not gonna last long.”

His words were broken with loud moans. He couldn’t think straight with your warm, wet pussy inviting him in over and over. 

As you shook from an overwhelming orgasm, your pussy involuntarily clenched, causing Jake to lose any last bit of restraint he was holding onto. He pushed in as far as he could go as you flailed around. He pinned your arms down and pressed his mouth into yours, delivering a hot and heavy kiss that had you panting. 

He pulled out, but the string of cum that followed made you blanch. You never were one for cum play. Still, you didn’t protest when Jake pushed everything back in with two fingers. 

“Gotta’ make sure you’re full baby.”

You shake your head now, but again, what’s the point? It’s all done and dusted. Though, you should give yourself some credit. Even if you had realized earlier, it wouldn’t have made a difference. He would’ve realized that you knew before you could’ve even thought about escaping.

As you drifted asleep, you adjusted the volume of the baby monitor one last time and slumped into the fluffy pillows. 

How do you wake up from dreams? Was it by pinching yourself? You couldn’t wake up from the nightmare that was your reality when you pinched yourself. You doubted that would work right now. You couldn’t recall how to open your eyes. Instead, you whimpered in your sleep, reliving the moment Jake finally revealed his ulterior motive

“You did what?” Jake was seething, but the only indication of it was his clenching jaw and red face. His tone was the perfect embodiment of the calm before a storm. 

“I know you aren’t happy… but Jake, you- you’re always talking about babies and a family. It was so overwhelming and I… I-I…” You were shivering now, unable to withstand the heat of his glare. You had never been on the receiving end of his anger. Hell, you had never even seen him angry. 

“I didn’t have an abortion, Jake, for god’s sake stop looking at me like a killed a baby! Plan B is not a crime. I’m only even bringing this up because I started on birth control anyway. Plan B every time we have sex is just not practical or feasible.”

At this point, you could’ve been speaking to a wall. Jake still hadn’t said anything and you were beginning to wonder if he had even been listening. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” he whispered, at last. 

“What?”

“I watch you do everything, I can’t believe I didn’t know about the Plan B.”

“What… What are you saying?”

“I said,” Jake stood up, “I’ve basically been watching you 24/7. And I don’t know how I didn’t notice this.” 

“What do you mean watching me?” Tears in your waterline were threatening to blur your vision but you blinked furiously in an attempt to keep looking Jake in the eyes.

 “You think FRIDAY works for you?” 

Jake leisurely cracked each knuckle and took a step towards you. You took one back. 

“Oh, now, don’t be like that.”

You woke from your nightmare that was the boiling pot and jumped straight into the fire. Jake was already moving in and out of your channel, moaning about how he missed you too much. 

You tried to adjust yourself but he caught your arms and pulled out just long enough to flip you onto your stomach. 

When he pushed back in, the hopelessness of your life manifested as tears; it happens every once in a while. 

Today, you had a new record: you were able to hold off a total of 7 breakdowns.

But, of course, that was right before he pinched you awake every time.

Masterlist

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

---

Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

-

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

-

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

-

@berrynarrybanana​

[kraiyan]

i made my own little headcannons to fit in if michael and jeremy were dating and a bunch of other stuff that i don’t want to spoil so take my headcannons and please don’t pay attention to my overuse of the words ‘so’ and ‘like’

i wrote this headcannons for me in my notes so there are mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, light mentions of an eating disorder, nightmares, and self harm but i’ll just put a trigger warning for when those parts show up and if i missed anything that is triggering please let me know

- michael is trans and gay and jeremy is bisexual

- i think they would’ve been friends since kindergarten so they grew up telling each other EVERYTHING

- i feel like michael was really girly as a kid but in like 6th grade he just completely switched to like tomboy but he didn’t do on purpose it just happened

- then in seventh grade michael told jeremy he wanted to be a boy then after that with help from jeremy he came out to his moms

- michael had a crush in jeremy since 7th grade but i don’t think jeremy was his first crush

- i think since michael was straight when he was a girl he just assumed he was straight as a boy and his sexual awakening was captain sparklez

- michael has two moms and jeremys mom would’ve died in a car accident so it’s just him and his dad

- i imagine they confessed to each other in their second year of high school

- (TW: mentions of abuse) jeremy realized he liked michael in freshman year and it was really bad he could not stop thinking about him so when he got squip squip l would not stop punishing him for it

- so jeremy definitely has some problems with his bisexuality

- after years of pining for each other when they finally kissed jeremy could not stop panicking about it

- like they went to sleep fine but he was internally panicking and he tried to keep it together but the next day he absolutely broke just started sobbing saying over and over again “is this okay, are we okay”

- michael is the type to listen to a vulgar music to help his dysphoria

- so him and jeremy are in his car michael plugs in his phone and just starts singings “hoes want to be seen with me and i like their big thick titties”

- and jeremy can do nothing else but be like michael what the fuck

- they decided to keep their relationship a secret and not tell anyone bc of jeremy still coming to terms with himself and he didn’t think his dad would understand

- but i feel like michael moms had already pieced together that they were dating and jeremy didn’t mind that they knew bc they’re literally lesbians but every time jeremy came over from that point forward they had to keep their door open

-(TW: mention of an eating disorder) in a different angstier au jeremy would struggle with eating as a control thing after squip

- (TW: mention of an eating disorder) in an angstier au michael would have an eating disorder cause dysphoria

- i feel like once he realized he was trans he had really bad dysphoria but like with therapy and stuff he got over it

- so i think michael really liked afycso and had it on a vinyl and now jeremy knows all the words

- they don’t do anything at school because jeremy is still uncomfortable so they just pursuit their relationship between closed doors and michaels car in an empty parking lot

- i feel like they both got really excited when michael got referred to as sir for the first time

- jeremy and michael grew up together but ironically when puberty hit michael started to wear baggy clothes than he wore a binder than he wore super baggy clothes to hide his tits after coming out but during squip he had time to self reflect and work on his dysphoria so when jeremy saw michael outside of school he kinda said TITS and was so caught off guard by them

-(TW: mentions of self harm scars) i think michael has sh scars due to losing his childhood best friend and the whole panic attack in the bathroom thing and jeremys seen them but didn’t bring it up to michael because they’re fading so he obviously doesn’t do it anymore but it was a huge shock for jeremy to find out

- they never brought it up tho and it was never discussed bc who cares it was in the past

- michael pants his nails black and i think on some very rare occasion jeremy would paint his nails too (like the way karl paint his) and michael has lots of nail polish cuz on the rare occasion he paints his nails different colors and he repainted his nails every two weeks

- no matter how many times michael has changed in the same room as jeremy even let jeremy help take off his binder jeremy will never not get shy when he changes and will always ask to go into another room

- jeremy is a coffee person but not hot coffe because he always drinks it too early and burns his tongue

- he originally bought his hoodie™️ in really huge size to battle dysphoria but that just made the hoodie last for years

- jeremys name in michaels phone is something very gay and lovey and shit and michaels name on jeremys phone is just michael :)

- jeremy would come home all suspicious and and red faced after him and michael came from an empty parking lot that his dad would not stop begging him to meet this girlfriend of his

- i don’t think jeremy told his dad him and michael were playing a game or something and they kiss jeremys dad comes in and is like what 😦

-and his dad is shocked that he has been pushing girlfriend but he has a boyfriend and is just soooooo awkward about it and never sees michael the same but never makes any rules about them bc he doesn’t want to be homophobic 😭

- i don’t think he was really not supportive but it took him a bit to get used to it but it was so new to him and he was just so phased he just kinda talked to jeremy about his sexuality then left it at that

- they are like gendebend bubbline (marshal lee and the other one yk)

- michael has a queen vinyl the listen to a lot

- so i think michael would still smoke a bit and one time he convinced jeremy to do it with him and jeremy mainly coughed a lot then they just made out the rest of the time but they didn’t tell their parents they would be staying out after school and they both got in trouble

- michael gets blue raspberry and jeremy gets cherry but he also gets coke sometimes too (slushy flavors)

- at the beginning of their relationship they had to take it really slow so that jeremy would feel coqmfortable

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) so jeremy has nightmares of squip and he wakes up having panic attacks and it’s really tiring bc he only gets 2 hours of sleep if he has these nightmares

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) i feel like along with his nightmares he also had panic attacks that squip would punish him for pursuing a relationship with a guy let alone michael

- so after he got over his nightmares he just struggled with sleeping and nighttime in general like just fear around going to sleep

- so he often stayed up alll night to avoid sleeping and would like go to bed at 6 or on a good day 4 or 5

- so i think to get over his fear he had to make a routine first he would make some sort of hot drink or just water (mostly sleepy time tea) then he would text michael that he was going to sleep he also wears the same pajamas every time he goes to sleep just to make sure the routine really works then lastly he reads a comic book then he goes to bed

- i think the reason jeremy couldn’t sleep well after getting over the nightmares is because even if squip doesn’t haunt him enough to show up in his dreams anymore it still haunts him enough to stress him out constantly so he doesn’t sleep well

- to conclude the nightmare and sleeping saga jeremy basically has a night routine and sleeps with a night light

- i feel like they both go to therapy but we’re to scared to tell each other (and they both started going to therapy before they started dating)

- so fast forward they’re dating and are trying to plan a date and jeremys like i’m busy on monday at 1 and my dad needs me to help him with something on tuesday so how about wednesday at 3 and michaels like i have somewhere to be like at 3:30 and jeremys like where do you have to be and michaels like where do YOU have to be and so they count to three and say where they’re going to be and they both say therapy and then they’re like you go to therapy i think that would be so cute

- so michael has really thick glasses like his vision is awful so if jeremy is mad at michael he would wake up early and move his glasses over so michael would have to struggle to get out of bed and look for them with his poor ass vision

- he can see things right in front of his face but as soon as it moves a bit too far it’s blurry

- and speaking of his galsses if they’re really kissing along the way jeremy would take of his glasses so they could get closer to each other’s faces (like how elle and tao do in heartstopper )

- michael and jeremy have been friends way too long to not have practiced kissing with each other

- i think christine was a long time crush for jeremy so he definitely practiced kissing michael a lot since they were in 6th grade and michael was just soaking that shit up

- he’d be like what if she wants to make out we should practice that and jeremys like oh yeah you’re right and michael would be so freaking happy

- but they definitely got caught by jeremys dad and he laughed it off cause what else are you meant to when your 11 year old son and his 12 year old best friend are kissing each other

- they didn’t do it anymore after that cause they were soooooooooo embarrassed

- so i don’t talk about the rest of the characters but i’m about to make a headcannon including them so i’m gonna say my headcannons

- so chole is demisexual and panromantic

- brooke is a lesbian

- rich is bisexual and trans

- jake is pan

- jenna is questioning or straight

- and christine is aro/ace

- so i think jeremy and christine dated for a bit then christine broke up with him cause she was all like i can see the way you look at michael and also because she realized she was feeling intense platonic attraction not romantic

- and also i think they’re all friends so they have a group chat where they send homework answers and stuff

- so i think one time jeremy is doing his nighttime routine but this particular night he’s really tired so he texts michael goodnight bby <3 love u then skips the comic book reading and goes to bed but he sent it to their group chat so as soon as he got situated into bed all he hears is his phone going off so he has to check and it’s just everyone freaking out

- so he like fully sits up is looking at his phone in complete shock then realizes he never said a name so they are like who’s this mystery girl

- so he calls michael tells him about the situation then decides he’s ready to come out

- so the next day they’re more handsy then usual like jeremy wiped something off his face michael saw that he was cold and pulled him real close and their friends are like okayyyyy

- but mind you christine knew that jeremy liked michael so she knew exactly what was happening

- so at the end of the day their friend group is making plans to hang out but everyone was busy so jeremy goes well i’ll see you guys tomorrow waves at everyone kisses michael then starts walking to his house then michaels like yea i’m gonna head home to and like drives away and from that day forward their friends would not stop teasing them and were impressed they could keep there secret for so long

- so i feel like michaels moms both have jobs that run late so mom #1 is an er nurse and mom #2 is an account so this leaves michael a lot of time of being alone in his house so naturally you need to take advantage

- so one time mom #2 gets home and walks in just to see jeremy fully on the counter making out with her son

- i don’t think they got in trouble but his mom was like please not on the counter

- and then there was another time where mom #1 came home on her break cause she doesn’t live far from the er so she like yells to michael that she’s home

- and so naturally you come down to hug your mom so he comes down to greet his mom with a red faced jeremy behind him and his mom thought this was so fucking funny but as soon as she’s done laughing she immediately goes anytime jeremys over the doors open and that was the end of it

- everyone has this one thing that someone does that make them all blushy and stuff

- for jeremy it’s when michael wears fitting clothes cause michael is known to wear hoodies or just baggy clothes in general so when michael does get hot and needs to like put something on he puts on one of those body fitting v necks and jeremy losses his shit like he’s fully blushing and avoiding eye contact and since michael changed cause he was hot he’s sure that jeremy is so hot that his face is turning red and he’s embarrassed to say to take off his cardigan so the entire time jeremy is being full homo for his boyfriend michael is thinking he’s about to pass out from a heat stroke

- so i think jeremy enjoys this so much that for the first week of spring michael will only wear fitted clothes because jeremy loves it

- for michael it’s when he’s kissing jeremys neck and jeremy runs his hand thru his hair and pulls it a little when this happens michael loses all common sense one because jeremys enjoying himself so much that he has to kinda tug on michaels hair and two he’s enjoying it so much he doesn’t have time to think that squip is going to punish him and that makes michael just lose his mind so by the time they’ve pulled apart jeremy as sooooo many hickies and they both look at each other like what the fuck did we just do

- moving right along i feel like when jeremy wakes up at night and is terrified to go back to sleep if him and michael are sleeping together he will like hug him until he gets back to sleep and it works every time

- when they were like 7 jeremy got really sick with the flu and michael was so scared that he was going to die so he kissed him while he was sleeping because if his best friend was gonna die so was he and the next day he got really sick with the flu and jeremy would not stop crying because he thought that since michael refused to leave his side he got him sick…they’re idiots

- jeremy is the type to go to school with the worst fever ever he could throw up in the middle of the school day and still not go to the nurse and if he got sick during junior year forget it you had to strap him down to his bed if you wanted him to take a day off like michael had to sedecue him into staying in bed and taking medication so that he could feel better

[julietsfm]

— only five minutes ‘til midnight , and we just spotted JULIET ROBINSON , known for SITTING IN THE BACK OF A CROWDED ROOM , STEALING GLANCES ACROSS THE TABLE , and THE SOUND OF ACRYLIC NAILS TAPPING AGAINST A HARD SURFACE , at club nouveau , ringing in the new year ! the TWENTY-TWO year old is usually known for their job as a M O D E L , but tonight , they’re just another reveler in the crowd . when they wrote down their new year’s resolution , they wished for THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A BREAK & A LOW-KEY VACATION WITH HER CLOSEST FRIENDS . funny enough , they had also mentioned how they hoped to forget about the time that they REDACTED . for what it’s worth , i truly hope they can put the old year past them . [ zendaya , cis female , SUPERMODEL JULIET ROBINSON CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT OF PARTY WITH MYSTERY BEAU ]

BIOGRAPHY:

JULIET BEATRICE ROBINSON. born in the heart of austin, texas to rudolph and katherine robinson. she was born into your run of the mill middle class family, but it didn't take long for her family to strike oil. literally. just a year after her birth, her parents were hired as lawyers for two very large energy corporations respectively. handling all the big wig stuff was no walk in the park, especially as time went on and the world began to call for different types of energy. if there was one thing the robinsons were not, it was QUITTERS. it didn't take much time for them to find new clients- more famous clients. switching from company law to personal law didn't phase either of the adults much. in fact, this proved to be their strength. they made the switch in '07, the year juliet turned nine. it was then they packed their bags and headed to new york in search of better opportunities.

new york is where juliet has most of her memories. she hardly remembers life in texas and has only known a life of wealth. it's the type of life everybody dreams of. however, juliet always found it hard. she had no expectations to meet, but also impossible expectations to meet. she could slack off academically if she wanted to, but she couldn't be caught publicly doing things most teens would do when slacking off in school. everything she did was a reflection of her parents, and moving to new york made that very apparent. in texas, it was hard to find people who cared outside of your social circle. new york is a very different environment and juliet has had trouble adjusting. she was there just six years before being pulled from her expensive private school and switching to the homeschool / tutor life.

her parents (and those around them) found beauty in her that she had yet to see in herself. if you had asked juliet, she was just the product of two averagely beautiful people. however, those around her seemed to see much more. through her parents connections, she met with modeling companies and began working on her portfolio. if anyone was going to take her seriously, she was going to need more than just a pretty face. at least, that's what they had told her. luckily, she had been in ballet all throughout her youth, so she already had the grace and gentleness that one expected from a model. she wasn't self-conscious, but she still couldn't see what everyone else saw in her. she spent many hours looking in the mirror just searching for SOMETHING extraordinary about her.

in juliet's eyes, she was not extraordinary. it was her parents that were larger than life. they had turned nothing into everything and she was just lucky to be the one to come out of her mother that one march morning in '98. because she was that girl, she was expected to follow these even more intensive rules. watch what you eat, make sure you're keeping in shape, be careful who you spend time with, et cetera. it was very stressful and she couldn't stand it. she never asked for or wanted any of this. ever since she was born, she has been following a path set by her parents. she understands how blessed she is to have money, a platform, and a promising career in front of her. but she doesn't want it anymore. not that she's told her parents this. she wants to, but she knows she owes everything she has to them. her friendships, her career, her connections... it never ends. as much as she loves her friends and her life, she feels like a fish out of water. it's hard for her to explain, but she definitely has that feeling of impostor syndrome. no matter how many years she spent in new york or as a model, she sees everyone else and thinks they're all happy with their lives. they seem fulfilled and she wonders why she isn't. it just doesn't make sense why she can't just feel the same way as her friends. they're living the life everyone else only dreams of- why can't she be content with that?

because it means having to tell her parents that something isn't right. not once has she ever stood up to them. not for fear of having her savings taken away (not that it matters anymore, seeing how she has her successful modelig career) but for fear of telling them they've made her unhappy. also, talking feelings with two big-shot lawyers sounds like a nightmare. they rely on facts and are very straight to the point. they can be intimidating when they want to be, moreso when they don't even mean to be.

which is why she so desperately wishes to seek other opportunities. even though more and more celebrities are finding their way back to university, her parents seem against the idea for some reason. she's been eyeing other talents such as singing or acting, but her parents have told her "WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU WILL SUCCEED IN THAT FIELD. WHY RUIN A GOOD THING? YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO HAVE THIS PRETTY FACE FOR SO LONG, WHY NOT CAPITALIZE OFF OF IT WHEN YOU CAN?" so, for now, that's exactly what she'll do.

TOO LONG; DIDN’T READ:

born in texas

pisces

parents are lawyers for big name clients

moved to new york at age 9

model but yearning for more

wants to try out music / acting but is too scared to branch out

terrified of her parents and refuses to confront them

getting less secure in her role their version of society

continues to stay her best possible self for the media just to please her parents

attends events but learns to stay under the radar

very susceptible to peer pressure LMFAO

HERE IS A SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE I MADE!!!!!!!!!!!! please look at it it took me literal hours 

if u have any more questions for me just lmk <3

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

confidant

first friend in nyc ! or any childhood friends tbh <3

maybe any other friends who moved to new york in their tweens/teens??? kinda new in town?????? trying to figure it out together?????

any actor / actress / musician friends so juliet can be obsessed w their passion for their craft n their skill level ?

frenemies ? maybe they pretend to be friends for social media but don’t like each other or are overall indifferent to each other ??????

exes?????? fwb???????? one night stands???????? she likes everyone so we can make this work with whomstever if anyone is interested <3

[ionlydatesassyelves]

sad bats part 2

there is, indeed, a second part, where things get slightly better and the hero smooches the bat.

------

Antasma had slowly recovered inch by inch in the short time he'd been taking shelter at the mansion. It hadn't taken terribly long for the angry, red swelling on his ear to go down, and after a time, he didn't shake and cringe so much when Luigi carefully tended to it.

That was the real sign of progress to Luigi. The fact that Antasma could go twenty minutes straight without shaking now, could look in Luigi's eyes and speak up while they were talking, could uncurl himself a little at a time like he was slowly unwinding his defenses. It made Luigi so proud that he was trying.

He was still hurt, and he still had a long way to go, but the first steps were often the hardest to take. Luigi knew that too well, and he had grown so eager to help the bat along.

Luigi's thoughts derailed when he felt claws sink in his leg. He stopped his hands abruptly, let Antasma press his face against his shoulder and felt him shaking. Luigi kept thinking he couldn't be comfortable curled over in his lap like that, but it was the only way Antasma would let him near his bad ear.

A minute passed, and slowly, delicately, Antasma unhooked each claw from Luigi's leg. Luigi bit his lip, fighting down a noise. It stung already, but Antamsa was hurting worse.

"Sorry," the bat whispered, so faint Luigi almost didn't catch it.

Luigi waited for the shaking to still a little more before he spoke. "Its okay," he said, and tried to match Antasma's volume. "Did I hurt you?"

The ear flinched, and Antasma squirmed a little. "...no," he decided.

Luigi pulled his hands slowly back and reapplied the disinfectant to a clean cotton ball. "I just have a little left. Is it okay if I keep going?"

A stuttering breath, like he was waiting for something worse. "Yes."

Luigi gave him another moment, then took the damaged remains of his ear very gently in his hands again. Antasma cringed when the stinging solution met his ear once more, and Luigi found himself saying "Shh, shhh, it's okay... almost done, I promise..."

Claws pressed teasingly against Luigi's legs again, like Antasma wanted to tear him apart and it took considerable effort to resist. Luigi tried to ignore the sensation. They couldn't both be on edge.

At last, he finished, moving quickly to scoot the first aid supplies away on the floor. "Okay there, all finished," he said. "Its looking a lot better."

Antasma just flinched, and held onto him a little tighter. Luigi knew what he was thinking. It looked less infected, no less just shredded remains, no less a brutal punishment he hadn't deserved.

Luigi watched the bat a moment, then very gently reached up and ran his fingers along the back of his head. "...is this okay?"

There was a pause, and Antasma relaxed. "Its fine," he managed when he recalled his words. He let Luigi pet him a minute longer, and then whispered a soft "Thank you."

Luigi smiled, absently petting the thick violet fur. It had grown soft again since Antasma had shown up, damaged and terrified and desperate to warn them about Abscuro. Kamek had said the stress probably did it, which given the ear, seemed likely.

Luigi still couldn't believe it. How anyone--even a villain, even a twisted monster--could ever treat someone else this way. If Antasma had loved Abscuro half as much as Luigi had seen him worship Bowser, how could the shadow find the will in himself to hurt him so?

"He vanted you, and I couldn't do it."

Luigi thought about those words almost constantly. Perhaps this level of hurt and betrayal was beyond him, but more than that, he really couldn't believe someone like Antasma capable of such compassion.

And an hour from now, Antasma would be in a distant corner of the house, curled up and shaking with his claws sunk into himself, convinced he didn't deserve to be anywhere near Luigi. Convinced he didn't deserve to be safe and cared for, worlds away from Abscuro.

"I couldn't do it."

Luigi's heart broke again and again for the bat. Even after all the nightmares and heartache he had endured at Antasma's hand, the nights he'd seen Kamek sleepless and sick with worry, the stress he knew he was putting on Dimentio and L all the way across the country.

This giant, deadly, horrifying thing was curled up pitifully in Luigi's arms, afraid and desperate but with no where else left to go. Allowing Luigi to gently hold his hand and pet his fur and soothe every shake and tremor out of him. It was like meeting a totally different person.

Luigi couldn't imagine hurting him the way Bowser and Abscuro had. Couldn't comprehend how Abscuro had held him closer than this and whispered he loved him as he tore the poor bat apart.

Antasma took a deep breath suddenly, and startled Luigi out of his thoughts. He pulled back a bit, and squirmed like he was unsure of himself. "...Vhat are you thinking so deeply about?" he finally asked, his voice soft and quiet.

Luigi found his smile again, scratching at that little spot between the back of Antasma's ears that made him sigh so happily. Luigi was getting fond of that noise. "Its nothing," he lied.

There was a pause, then Antasma gathered his nerves and sat up straight. He would've been much taller than Luigi even sitting up beside him. Propped in his lap like this, the bat towered over him. Their faces were so close as Antasma stared down at him with wide, glowing eyes, and Luigi felt his breath hitch in his throat. "You daydream vhen it is nothing," he half stated, half accused. "Does... something trouble you?"

Luigi shook his head, and he wasn't entirely lying. It wasn't that he was troubled, it was that he knew the longing ache in his own heart too well, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. "No, I'm fine," he decided.

Antasma held his stare, and Luigi felt his tail flick against his leg, felt the bat's hands hold so tightly to his. Not like he was afraid, like he was wondering--again--if he should be. Luigi wanted to hold him close and squeeze him tight until he understood.

"I'm just..." Luigi hesitated. He reached up and gently held the side of Antasma's face. He waited for the bat to lean into his touch and gently ran his thumb along his cheek. Antasma made an odd, conflicted sort of face, but he gave a tiny sound like he liked it and reached up to lay his hand over Luigi's. Cautiously, Luigi continued. "...I'm just... thinking about you."

Antasma slowly opened his eyes. His grip tightened on Luigi's small hand--all strength and claws and it didn't seem to dawn on him that he could crush Luigi. He held on like he was pleading, his eyes afraid and desperate and begging Luigi not to drag his guard down and hurt him when he wouldn't stop him.

"...Vhat about me?" he said slowly, and his eyes searched Luigi's frantically.

Luigi held his stare and squeezed his hand and kept gently petting his face. He really wasn't sure what to say now, he was thinking too many things. You deserve everything and I wish I could give it to you. I would physically pull all the hurt out of you and throw it in the ocean right now if I could. I want to absolutely destroy anyone who's ever enjoyed that look in your eyes. I want to piece your heart back together even if I can't have it, because you deserve to be happy and I don't think you know that and its eating me alive.

He couldn't say any of that, he was going to scare the bat. But his silence would worry him too. He had to say something. But, gold eyes searched blue, and Luigi lost his train of thought again.

"Can I kiss you?"

It came out as a strangled, hoarse whisper, and he hadn't entirely meant to say it aloud. The following silence was suffocating, and Luigi could watch every emotion flood Antasma's eyes--first he was shocked, then he grew afraid, then there was a fleeting spark of hope before he thought to be afraid again.

"It's okay, it's okay," Luigi found himself repeating. His voice was so quiet, but it was a struggle now to talk any louder. As if the moment would shatter like glass if they didn't move slowly and quietly and carefully. "You don't have to, it's okay." He ran his thumb along Antasma's cheek again, and if Antasma leaned another inch down their foreheads would be touching. Two inches and they would be kissing. "Antasma, I understand, it's okay."

The hope was back in his eyes and then he was drowning in longing. Like he hoped he was dreaming and he would be sick when he woke up but there was nothing he could possibly want more. Luigi was familiar with the feeling.

"I won't..." Luigi took a shaky breath when his voice cracked. He saw Antasma's ears pin back and his eyes melt a little softer. "...I won't hurt you. But, I-- ...I understand. If it's too much, I understand."

"No--"

Both men jumped when the bat spoke. Luigi leaned back, afraid he was crowding him, and Antasma followed him. "N-no, I-- vait..." Luigi watched him curl back, then lean cautiously closer again, his eyes darting over Luigi's face as he struggled for words. "That vasn't-- no, I-- I meant--"

Luigi waited patiently.

"Please..." Antasma managed, and his voice cracked on just that one syllable.

Luigi felt his heart flutter, and couldn't contain a shaking smile. He coaxed Antasma gently closer until he could feel the bat's warm breath against his lips. "...you're sure?" he said one more time.

Antasma considered. Honestly, deeply struggled to consider. "Yes," he decided.

Luigi hesitated one more gasp, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Antasma's mouth.

The bat went stiff, squeezing Luigi's hand tightly. Luigi kissed him tenderly, rubbing gentle circles on his cheek and the back of his hand with the worn pad of his thumbs. Something about his teeth had made Luigi think his mouth wouldn't be soft, but the dangerous fangs hid neatly behind Antasma's lips and he had been very wrong.

Slowly, Antasma relaxed, and leaned closer to Luigi, gradually returning the kiss. It was deep and warm, despite the uncertainty from both of them. Luigi heard a noise stifled in the back of Antasma's throat--a high, longing sort of hum, and Luigi's heart melted when he heard it. He wanted so badly to drag Antasma on top of him, see what other noises he would let slip, drag his hands through thick fur and make him feel incredible.

Luigi allowed himself exactly five seconds after that thought, and slowly forced himself to pull back. He watched Antasma take a staggering breath, watched him try to process everything before his eyes fluttered open and searched Luigi's.

It finally dawned on Luigi to be terrified that he'd messed up everything. He watched the gears click slowly in Antasma's heard, and grew afraid the bat wouldn't trust him anymore, would fear a repeat of what he had just escaped.

He tried not to jump when Antasma leaned in again.

The bat drifted close to his mouth once more, and as his eyes searched Luigi's again, words seemed to fail them both. He let Antasma kiss him again, slowly and hesitantly.

Luigi felt stress and tension gradually ease out of them both. Antasma moved his hands from Luigi's and propped against his shoulders as he slid closer. Their hearts hammered against each other, and Luigi sighed, tilting his head back to allow Antasma to kiss him even deeper.

Some lost defense mechanism in the back of Luigi's head kept creeping up to remind him the creature in his lap had once wanted him dead. Had devoured pieces of his mind and thrived off his fears. But then those dangerous claws scratched so gently through his hair, and that commanding voice was reduced to the pitiful humming sound again, and Luigi couldn't stand it. He didn't care.

Luigi wasn't sure when his hands had drifted down to rest on Antasma's hips, but he came slowly to his senses when Antasma pressed him against the back of the couch. He could feel the bat's tail tangled tightly around his legs, hands dragging through his hair. He began to consider what Antasma was violently pushing down in his own mind.

Carefully, Luigi slid his hands up to Antasma's chest (had to collect his thoughts after the tremor that ran through the bat) and gently pushed him until Antasma took the hint and broke the kiss. They stared at each other, dazed and a little breathless. Luigi smiled dizzily up at him. "We should probably slow down..." he said distantly.

Antasma took another steadying breath, reaching up to rub the daze from his eyes as he nodded mutely. Luigi gently pressed their lips together just for a second longer. "Thank you," he said, honestly.

Antasma looked like he had no idea what to do with that. He stared at Luigi again. Less like he was comparing him to others, and more like he had never seen anything like him.

Luigi found a hundred more things he suddenly wanted to say, but he was going to overwhelm the bat at this rate. So, instead, he gently pulled Antasma back down until he could rest his head against Luigi's shoulder again. Luigi let him squirm into a more comfortable position than he had allowed the shorter man to tend his ear in. For some reason, it wasn't like Antasma to make himself comfortable, and Luigi was so glad to feel him relax in his arms.

"Want to stay here for a bit?" Luigi quietly asked. He gently scratched Antasma's good ear as he said it, and the bat squirmed closer and allowed it.

Antasma breathed deeply for a moment, considering. Wondering what he actually wanted and what he would allow himself. Luigi smiled when he felt the bat's grip on his waist tighten. "I vould like that," he admitted.

Luigi kissed the top of his head, and caught a pointed ear turn slightly redder in his hand. He made himself comfortable around Antasma and slowly relaxed as well.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: empty out your heart for me

Author: @karasuprince

For: @midnight-run-amok

Ratings/Warnings: mentions of remnants of despair, self-loathing/hate, language, hurt-to-comfort

Prompt: figuring out how they feel about each other

Author’s Notes: hi hi i hope you enjoy reading this!! i am still not used to writing for others but this was a very nice prompt and i had a lot of fun with it ^^ i am also sorry if there are any uncaught grammar errors/etc., english isn’t my native language. but um yes here it is <3

  the skies above him are a clear, bright blue that set his mind at ease. the ocean surrounds him and makes him and the island feel small, makes him feel as though he’s nothing, and for once in his life it is a very welcome change. it’s a very welcome feeling, compared to being put on a pedestal one too many times on the island, decided upon as a leader without his knowing (or consent, for the matter.) the tide rises and he’s ankle deep in water, though he doesn’t really care, and his feet are bare, anyway. he’s alone, even if just for a few moments, and this silence and tranquility is something he can enjoy. because this past week, and all the days before spent on this island, he’s spent so much time with the others that he’s forgotten how silence sounded like, save for the few peaceful mornings before a day of running around and helping the others with various tasks and favours. hinata’s forgotten how to think in peace, and now, simply being able to walk on a beach by himself, feels like utter bliss. “you’d think i’d be able to swim any time i want on a fucking island.” he grumbles to himself, paying no attention to what’s ahead of him. “not the case, though. not even when there’s a pool.” it isn’t the lack of being able to swim that bothers him, of course, but rather the lack of being able to spend his time on his own will. excluding nanami’s constant snooze fests ­­– which, he thinks gives him much more worry and stress than they should – hinata’s found that there’s only one person on the island that, he can really spend quiet, calming moments with. hinata isn’t helping him, so much as he’s helping hinata, whether it’s talking to him about meaningless things, or listening to hinata until hinata feels like he’s gotten whatever stress he’s gained lately off his chest by talking to him alone. but there’s something about him that hinata can’t really understand, or some part of him that he can’t reach. he’s nice, and he’s a good friend, and hinata cares about him – maybe a bit more than he’d like to admit. he gets along with everyone for the most part (even saionji, who practically has a grudge against everyone but koizumi and himself), but as far as he knows, hinata, and perhaps nanami, are his only friends. and maybe that’s because, he has walls raised high. hinata can tell, by the way he shuts out his own feelings or opinions on anything, or has little regard for his well being and, even happiness. it worries hinata, and it upsets him a little – alright, a lot – especially given the fact that there are moments where he goes to extra lengths to help others, but not himself. hinata trusts him the most, and hinata just wishes he’d trust him back. the water around his feet stills. hinata blinks, glancing down. the water, flat and smooth, and too perfectly still to be part of the ocean, sends ripples towards him, and he moves his eyes, looking up and towards the source. the jagged end of the army green coat meets his eyes first, and then a pale neck, before finally hinata’s eyes meet komaeda’s. komaeda is a distance away from him – not too far, yet not that close, either, and hinata closes in on the distance, each footstep sending ripples into the never-ending water, until he’s only a few feet away from him. hinata’s lips part, but komaeda speaks first, eyes crinkling in that soft smile of his. “i didn’t know you thought so highly of someone such as me, hinata-kun.” his voice is soft, gentle, and it both puts hinata at calm and sends his heart beating a little faster. his words sink in. “w-wait, did i – i didn’t say that out loud, did i–?” hinata’s cheeks feel warm. komaeda’s smile shows amusement. hinata can’t read his eyes just yet. “hinata-kun, i don’t need to hear your thoughts to know. we’re…friends, aren’t we? i can read you very well by now.” bullshit, but hinata doesn’t really push it, moving his hand to the back of his neck. “of course i care about you, komaeda. you matter a lot to me – i’m…fond of you.” at this, komaeda chuckles again, and it sends a shiver down hinata’s spine – the good or bad kind, he can’t tell. “hinata-kun…” he says again, and he walks closer, and closer, the ripples growing smaller towards hinata with each step, until komaeda is so close that he can feel his breath on his cheek. hinata turns pink. “…i didn’t ask whether you cared about me or not, simply that you thought of me that much.” hinata feels embarrassed, then stupid, and then embarrassed again. “i-i mean, i – they’re the same, aren’t they?” he grumbles. komaeda’s hand moves to cup hinata’s right cheek. he feels like he’s going to fucking combust. “you know they’re not.” “hinata-kun,” he whispers. hinata looks straight into his eyes – and he wishes he didn’t. because he doesn’t see the usual calm gray green pair of eyes. stormy, swirling eyes meet his gaze, so chilling he feels the air drop a few degrees. and then he realizes that the sky’s darkened, storm clouds forming, crackling, pent up anger and tension threatening to rain down, winds ice cold that run through his hair and whip komaeda’s around, giving him a more chilling, an even more intimidating look. the hand on his cheek is cold as metal.

“hinata-kun, do you still care about me? even now?” hinata dreads the way he looks at him, dreads how his hand is still on his face, still gentle. hinata wants to say something, but komaeda isn’t done, moving his other hand to grip hinata’s shoulder. “do you accept all of me? can you accept all of me? or am i too…disturbing?” komaeda lets out a small laugh. hinata grits his teeth. he wants words to come out. he tries to get words out. he opens his mouth and he yells and he screams but the winds and crackling thunder silence him – no, deafen him until he can’t hear his own words, and komaeda is at the center of it all, the eye of the storm. pushing hinata farther and farther away no matter how hard he tries to reach out. hinata extends his arm, reaching for him. he opens his mouth. “komaeda, please, of course i do – you’re not – i care about you, i really, really do –” and komaeda looks at him, as the water beneath their feet swirls and swirls and swirls, dragging hinata in, looks at him, complete and utter apathy on his face. his lips part. “then what’s keeping you from saying so?”

–

  his nightmares are always abstract and full of shit, hinata decides, sitting up and rubbing his face. it isn’t the first one he’s had ever since their escape from the simulation, and he’s certain it likely won’t be the last – though, compared to more recent ones, hinata can say this was relatively calm. it definitely lacked the violence and horrors of other ones, from memories of being a remnant, from memories of the island. yet this one, this one was more concerning, and more painful. because this nightmare, unlike the others, was about komaeda, or more specifically, what hinata thought, and feared of him, how he felt around him, about him. he moves a hand over his red eye, sighing. it’s like his brain was trying to fucking call him out, and really? it wasn’t wrong.

hinata never considered himself brave, always thinking of himself a coward, especially when younger, and truthfully, even after pulling everyone out of their despair, he still thinks himself one. because out of all the words he’s said, every word that has ever left his mouth, he still can’t get the most important feelings out…to the person most important to him. to komaeda.

having troubles, are you? the back of his mind no longer feels empty. while they had merged, hinata doesn’t really…feel, or notice kamukura’s input most of the time, whether it’s a choice the latter made, or them being in perfect harmony a majority of the time. he thinks it’s the first option, because the second one sort of sounds like a load of bullshit, but then again, he doesn’t really know, nor is he that intent on finding out for sure.

“noo, i’m having a mini-crisis that’s giving me wonderful nightmares that i can’t get enough of.” hinata’s been told that his smart-assery will get him in trouble one day. so far, it’s gotten him in trouble a total of twenty-seven times, but he isn’t about to stop. deflect all you want, but it says more than a definite answer. he kinda hates how kamukura’s always right. stupid ultimate knowledge and shit. what exactly is your problem? you are able to understand your own dreams better than i would.

hinata lets out another sigh, taking a few moments. “…i’ve been…not avoiding him, no, because if anything he’s been avoiding me, but i…” he trails off. “there are things, i struggle to say. feelings i keep in, that i can’t get out. that i don’t know how to put into words.” those two sentences alone took a fat load of energy out of him to form, when it really shouldn’t have. he’s been avoiding everyone, hasn’t he? “yeah…fuck, yeah. and i don’t know – well. no, i know why. at least i’m pretty sure i have an idea of why. but i don’t know why out of everyone, he’s been avoiding…me, especially.” he hates the hurt evident in his voice, but hinata doesn’t make much effort to hide it, if any effort at all. kamukura is silent, and hinata thinks he’s a bit of a bitch. “i just,” he continues, getting out of bed and pacing around the room.

“i know he hates himself – i know that he thinks he’s unlovable, uncared for, and that fucking hurts to think, let alone know as a fact. but if anything, i thought that – that i was…different? it’s so goddamn selfish of me, but i thought – i hoped – that i…that at least with me, he felt…” safe. happy. comfortable enough to say the truth. he can’t get any of those things out of his mouth. kamukura decides to speak up, and you are upset? “of course i’m fucking upset!” his voice is louder than he means it to be, especially since the person he’s talking to is inside his own fucking head. “of course,” he starts again, more quiet this time, “i’m upset that he doesn’t…talk to me anymore. and i know it’s a joint effort, but i don’t know…how to approach him anymore. or if what i’ll say will even be enough. or what i even want to say exactly, for that matter.”

walking into the bathroom, he splashes water on his face, deciding he isn’t going back to sleep any time soon. your problem is that he is avoiding everyone. and you do not think you will be able to say anything that will change that fact, right? and your other problem is that you want to say something, beyond this…situation. what is that something, hajime? what truth are you afraid of?

hinata is silent this time. he does want to say something to komaeda, something he’s been longing to for a while, and then there is the part of him that does not want to say it out loud. that does not want to even confirm it within himself, because… “i don’t…want to end up being the only one who feels this way. i’m not scared of – of rejection, or some stupid shit like that. i don’t think i’ll make things worse in our friendship if i say, what i want to say.

but i’m scared, that it’s only going to be me who cares this much, who’s this attached, and that he doesn’t – he doesn’t care. or that he doesn’t care anymore, and that nothing i can say will even change that. i know he’s – he’s difficult, he’s definitely different. he’s a good person but he, has a bit more shit to make up for than the rest of us do, in his eyes and some others’, anyway.”

hinata agrees that he has done awful shit like the rest of them, some moments, some bad decisions that would end up irreversible even with the ‘it was a virtual world!’ getaway card.  he thinks back to the first trial on the island, to the second-to-last one, and to nanami, and his chest tightens a little. “yeah, he’s definitely done some things he shouldn’t have, but he fucking acknowledges it. and he’s – he’s avoiding everyone, but he’s – i don’t think komaeda’s doing it because he doesn’t want to apologise, or, or some dumb shit like that.

i think it’s because he…” his voice tightens a little. do not get worked up before even speaking to him. “…he thinks, it’s because he’s unlovable, and that no one, cares about him, like i said before. he thinks no one is going to be willing to even validate his – his trying to redeem himself, even though we’re all working to become better. to earn our forgiveness. and i…i don’t blame him, for thinking that, after so many years of being put down, by so many people.”

you are going all over the place. but i understand. you think your words, will be meaningless to him, and that his decision to remain alone is unchangeable. this is…a predicament. hinata thinks he feels a shred of sympathy somewhere in there, and he’s a little grateful for it, not to lie. “…yeah.” you have still not answered my question, though. what exactly are your feelings? you do not have to tell me, but hajime…you know you have to confront them. if you want to help him, you must.

he shuts his eyes. kamukura was right, that he knew. he’d purposely avoided saying what he felt out loud, even now alone with only the comfort of himself and the smarter half of himself. he’s afraid, for all the reasons he’s said and a million more, so many more that he can’t, he does not know how, to put into words, to explain to someone who doesn’t share the feelings he does, not truly. he can’t even begin to explain to himself. but he knows he can’t hide for any longer.

he cares about komaeda. he always has – even after the first week, he’s found it still, hard to ignore him, or to feel completely angry at him. because he’s always cared, and no action of komaeda could erase that, no matter how hard he tried to push hinata away. at first, maybe, he simply found a friend in him – some peace and quiet that was much appreciated, much needed at moments. his dream reminded him as much. but he also listened, to hinata, and was able to empathise a way others couldn’t have, exactly.

and he helped hinata get a lot of things off his chest, from time to time, whether it was worries about his designated position as leader of the group, or troubles that he’d received from others, or self-doubts he’d been battling for much longer…komaeda listened, and was there for him. and one of hinata’s regrets, till now, is that he wasn’t there for komaeda sooner. and after the first trial, he somehow became closer with komaeda, and there were moments where, even if seldom few, where komaeda would open up to hinata, and hinata felt like he trusted him.

along the way, he supposes, that care for his friend…grew. deeper, and deeper, and deeper, until even the final betrayal of his on the island, still could not change how hurt, how upset he was by his death, not even nanami’s execution – it just added on to the pain. because, because he didn’t consider him a friend, not anymore. the term wasn’t strong enough, didn’t convey…exactly how it felt. and his reaction to komaeda finally waking up, and even the months before the moment, spent simply sitting by komaeda’s side, clutching his hand waiting…he knew what he thought of him.

“i’m afraid,” hinata opens his eyes. “to tell him that i love him.”

–

  his food tastes disgusting, but komaeda doesn’t care much. he shoves the breakfast tray to the opposite end of the table, making use of the fact that he has an entire table to himself – whether this upset him or not. he tells himself, of course, that it does not – because he is used to sitting alone, and it is all he can seem to remember when it comes to scenarios like these. at school, on the island, and even now, a young adult, he is alone at lunch, and it is an embarrassing thing to behold.

embarrassing, if not a little sad. he has himself only to blame, of course, for reasons he cannot exactly begin to explain to another human being, let alone sort out himself, without spending too much energy figuring himself out. an obvious reason would be that he was, of course, not exactly quite popular with people in general because of his…eccentric personality, to put it lightly, which even people such as tanaka and mioda could not quite click with.

the most obvious reason, however, would be that he is responsible for the permanent death of a beloved friend that even he misses now. a little amusing how drastically both reasons varied, not that anyone but himself would focus on such things.

komaeda lets his eyes wander around the canteen, eventually to the table which he dubs the ‘twighlight-syndrome batch’, where an explosion of colours in the form of multiple heads of hair chat (and in mioda’s case, yell) over an assortment of things, none of which komaeda can gather info about, asides from the almost-constant outbursts from the musician. unintentionally, he locks eyes with the now tallest member of the bunch, and almost immediately he looks down, the noise from the table simultaneously dulling for a moment.

strange, how even someone with a personality as dislikeable as the traditional dancer’s could be surrounded by so many others. “but even then, she has her merits, and she is changing…you are a whole other case. you have always been like this.” although his voice is quiet, komaeda still attracts the attention of a passing future-foundation member, who simply stares at him a little strangely before continuing to head wherever they were initially headed to.

and komaeda can’t blame him, really. with a reputation like his own, talking to one’s self was more or less a major “DON’T” in big, bold, pink letters. perhaps if he had a second person within his head, he wouldn’t get stared at in such a way, though then again he isn’t quite sure how people are reacting to hinata’s –

he stops in his line of thought, eyes moving upward towards the ceiling. it has been a while, a long while indeed, that he has spoken to him, or even come near him, none of which has been anyone but komaeda’s own doing. komaeda had decided that he would impose this distance between the both of them – both for hinata’s well being, and a little selfishly, for komaeda’s own.

it was not mainly out of fear of any luck-cycle mishap as some might have speculated – while komaeda was at unease about the whole situation, it wasn’t enough to drive him away from…from dear hinata-kun. the real reason, in fact, is because he is afraid. he is afraid of hurting hinata by his words or actions alone, afraid of upsetting or disappointing him, which in komaeda’s eyes would not be very hard to do, given how much of a let-down komaeda already is.

komaeda is afraid there will come a moment where one thing, maybe even just three words alone could ruin hinata’s whole view of him, or could drive him away forever. after all, he’d tried before, and he was much too cowardly to even finish what he wanted to say. komaeda thinks it’s better if he drives him away from the start, before he has the chance to permanently hurt him.

he’s afraid, too, that even if there isn’t a sudden moment of realization within hinata that would make him leave komaeda, that would even make hinata hate him, that no matter what, komaeda will end up being alone again. that he will eventually drift away, even after all they’ve been through together, and that it was simply fated for komaeda to be all alone. his eyes sting a bit, and he looks back down at his tray, deciding he needed something to busy his hands with, reaching for the now-cold plate of omurice.yes, that outcome, among many others he’s envisioned, would be far more painful than distancing himself from the start.

a small part of him chastises himself, because he should know hinata better than that, that he would never do such a thing. because hinata-kun cared, hinata-kun cared when no one else had for a long time, and he would not stop caring out of the blue. the rest of komaeda, though, simply decides that komaeda has much too hope, and really, this hope of his that he’s clung to his entire life has gotten him nowhere, given him nothing but an even harsher slap from reality each time he clung to it.

he shoves a spoonful of the omurice into his mouth to stop himself from frowning too noticeably, chewing and then swallowing down the food along with the choked up feeling one often felt before crying. he will not cry. there is nothing to cry over, anyhow, and if the people around him haven’t cried since the first few weeks of rehabilitation, then why should he? and over what, crushed dreams?

komaeda’s learned long ago that dreams and hopes are simply that – dreams, and false hopes, and that his hope was something he clung to merely to stop himself from giving into his misery. amazing, how dark his day has gotten already, when it wasn’t even noon yet. komaeda looks around the room again, not too surprised to see some people already beginning to get up from their tables.

some faces are a bit familiar to him, members of the foundation he hasn’t exactly acquainted himself with yet, nor has he completely ignored their existence of, either. others are more familiar to him, like the short stature and pointed hair of naegi makoto, who he’s a little surprised to see in this section, though given his status and how dedicated he is…it does make sense.

and then, there are the faces whom he remembers the most – faces of people he used to be classmates with, he used to solve trials with. faces of people whom komaeda has betrayed, like the imposter, the princess, the yakuza – to name a few. they mostly ignore komaeda, or they do not see him, but komaeda is surprised to be on the receiving end of some waves from a few of the girls – double-checking there wasn’t someone behind him that they’d be pleased to see.

komaeda has distanced himself from them, too. he’s aware of how they feel about him, how they should feel about him after everything, and he’s decided that even though he wasn’t very close with any of them, or close at all, he would much rather not hurt any of them, either, not betray or make them upset once more, not that he felt that any of them cared – even if logic might have said otherwise, komaeda did not want to believe in lies created by his heart that he had friends, people who cared about him, even after everything.

it felt too different than usual. it felt too off, too…good, for the likes of someone such as him. so even if he would apologise for what he’s done, even if he would make up for the pain and trouble and unease he’s caused, komaeda won’t get too close, or close at all. he’ll leave space the same way he does with hinata. for their own good. for his own good.

komaeda huffs, shoving another spoonful in his mouth, which he thinks is about the most he’s eaten in a while. somehow, somehow, his thoughts would always come to hinata, and while he didn’t mind it at first, it was only just manageable now. he understands, of course, why his mind always comes back to one thing, one person – it’s hard to eliminate the thing you care about most, no matter how strong-willed you are.

and komaeda considered himself extremely strong-willed. try as he might, no amount of space he put between himself and hinata could stop him from thinking about the latter – that was one of the awful things about affection. you couldn’t control it – it controlled you.

and hinata had earned so, so much of komaeda’s affection. he had made komaeda feel safe, in those special moments with him, away from everyone else, away from the inevitable arrival of another murder, another trial, another session where he plays the villain. he had made him feel happy, and continued to do so each time he approached komaeda, even after the first week.

hinata was still willing to become close to him after the reveal of true colours, after his first layer had fallen away, when no one else but nanami would – but, nanami was…a whole other story, and very different than hinata. because nanami didn’t, couldn’t have ever made komaeda feel the way that he felt when around hinata.

he’d known early on, because if there is one thing komaeda isn’t, it’s oblivious, much to others’ chagrin and his own, even. komaeda might have preferred it if he wasn’t incredibly aware of how he feels about hinata, just how much he cares for him.

it would have been easier to stop thinking about him, most likely, and even more easy to distance himself from him without any regret. but no, komaeda is entirely aware of how he feels about the stubborn man, and has been from very early on, before he could even understand why he felt that way around hinata.

he loves him – he loves him and he adores and admires him till the point where komaeda’s chest feels like it’ll burst from the amount of affection he carries for hinata. and worst of all, his heart feels like it’ll shatter from the weight, the burden of a fact which is that hinata will likely never feel the same about komaeda, komaeda’s convinced himself of it.

komaeda will carry these feelings until they wither and die, or until he dies, and out of all the things in his life, all the miseries he’s faced, komaeda knows that this burden will be the heaviest, the most painful to bear. and hinata will never know, because it’s for the best, isn’t it?

he feels the tears before they come, and sets the spoon aside, raising both palms to press into his eyes now. it isn’t so much as to stop them from flowing, but rather hide the fact that they’re there – to anyone watching, with the addition of the slight trembling of his shoulders, komaeda would only look like he was battling a painful migraine.

not that anyone would necessarily care or look his way, he reminds himself. of course not. it’s amusing, though, how quick the morning is to become sour, and by his own thinking alone, nonetheless. if there was an award for achieving the worst day possible before morning ended, then he’s most certainly won it (a hundredth time, anyway, given his life.) still, he –

“komaeda?”

he stills, and he does not need to turn around to confirm the owner of the voice, nor does he need to stand up from his place to reach him, because soon enough hinata has his arms wrapped around komaeda, making him feel small, pathetic even, but undeniably safe.

“let’s…” komaeda begins, removing his hands to give a half-hearted smile. “we have a lot of things to discuss, i feel. let’s sort them out, shall we?”

–

  komaeda cannot admit that he’s missed the smell of the ocean too much, though the view before him is certainly something he can appreciate; with the faint sunlight, the sun only peeking out from behind the clouds, and the gentle rise and fall of the waves, his mind is definitely more relaxed, now out of the stuffy canteen. he is still on edge, though, and that is namely to do with hinata sitting right beside him. “…so,” the other man begins. “we…haven’t talked in a while, huh?” komaeda represses the urge to snort. even with kamukura’s help hinata wasn’t the best with words, after all.

“no, we have not,” he answers, voice soft. “you did catch onto the fact that i’ve been avoiding you, have you not?” hinata says nothing, though the look in his eyes tells komaeda enough – that he’s been aware of said fact, and likely more. “i hope you’re not upset, hinata-kun, because there are far more important things and people you should–“ hinata doesn’t let him finish, already starting up. “of course i’m upset, komaeda! why on earth would you think i wouldn’t be?” komaeda is silent. he regains his words after a moment. “…because, perhaps, you never sought me out?”

it is hinata, now, who looks shamed, but not speechless. “i – i know i didn’t. and i really, really should have – there’s no excusing that. i was…a coward. i’m still, a coward.” komaeda nods. “…i see. i don’t think i can agree.” hinata is confused – he expected komaeda to agree with him on this, at least, but of course he’s proven wrong again.“why not? i avoided you because i was scared that i’d somehow make things worse – which was stupid, because i should have asked you–“ komaeda shakes his head. “i won’t lie, hinata-kun, you not seeking me out was cowardly, yes, but you aren’t a coward overall. you’re very brave, confident. i truly admire that about you, being able to lead everyone.”

there’s another spark of fondness in hinata’s chest at komaeda’s words. “thank you, but…” he trails off, words dying on his tongue. “we’re here…now, though, and i’m not going to be cowardly anymore.” he already knows, has an idea of the answer to his next question, but hinata isn’t going to leave this – leave him alone without a definite answer. “why were you avoiding me from the start…? i didn’t hurt you, or anything, did i…?” komaeda shakes his head profusely, white curls going back and forth. “that isn’t it at all, hinata-kun. really, i…” he falters, looking down. “it’s okay, komaeda.” hinata reaches out, and carefully takes his left hand in between both of his. “i’m listening. i’m still here.”

komaeda’s cheeks tint, and he nods, barely noticeable. “hinata-kun, i really…from the bottom of my heart, i care about you. and i cause nothing but misery wherever i go, and the last thing i wished for was…to hurt you.” hinata is silent, but his hands are still holding komaeda’s, and komaeda takes that as a sign to continue. “the last thing i wanted to do, was to hurt you, or disappoint you, let you down in any way or form, and then have you desert me. and forgive me, for not having faith in you, hinata-kun, but..” his voice grows small. “…it was hard for me to believe that anyone, but especially someone as wonderful as you, could care about me.” he cautiously looks back at him, and he’s surprised by the deep frown on hinata’s face. "hinata–”

“sorry, but you’re completely wrong, komaeda.” komaeda blinks, surprised, and hinata carries on, subtly moving a little closer to komaeda. “i mean–“ he turns a little red, embarrassment evident in his tone. “i understand why you’d think that – i definitely do, considering…considering everything you’ve had to put up with. but i promise you – you’re very much wrong. i do care about you, a shit ton more than i’d ever have expected to. and i can’t imagine ever wanting to leave you, much less anything you could even say to me that’d make me be disappointed in you. you mean so much to me.” komaeda is surprised by the sincerity in his voice. so surprised that he almost has trouble believing him.

“hinata-kun…” komaeda’s eyes water a little bit, but hinata is relieved, and endeared, to see a smile on his face, cheeks rosy. “i…i’ve been foolish then, haven’t i?” he chuckles, and hinata can’t help laughing along with him a little. “i mean…you weren’t the only one, really,” he mumbles. he runs his thumb over komaeda’s hand. “i…still don’t entirely understand, though, hinata-kun. why exactly…did you think you would ‘make things worse’?” there is a moment of silence, and then another, and then komaeda starts to worry, before hinata speaks up. “i was afraid…that whatever i would have said would have driven you farther away. i was wrong, though, from the looks of it, and really, i’m wishing i spoke up sooner.” komaeda smiles, moving his other hand to squeeze hinata’s. “there’s something else, too,” hinata speaks up.

“yes, hinata-kun…?” komaeda watches curiously as hinata’s cheeks grow more red. “i – i’m kind of embarrassed at how long it took me to figure things out, to realize what you were trying to say or what you meant those couple of times on the island, but…” hinata moves his hand from komaeda’s hold, and raises it to his cheek instead, a little amused by how quick komaeda’s cheeks are to turn red. “when i said i cared about you…i didn’t mean it just as a friend – and, i think after hearing you, that isn’t what you meant, either.” komaeda’s breath gets caught in his throat. his heart is pounding against his chest. “hinata-kun, what do you…?”

“komaeda, i love you. and i have loved you for a long while…and i really, really want to stay by your side, if you’ll let me.”

a hush falls upon the both of them, and there isn’t anything said or heard for a few moments’ time. komaeda stares at hinata, eyes wide and face red. and hinata stares back, bashful, but evidently honest. and slowly, komaeda lifts his hand to hinata’s shoulder, and his other hand intertwines with hinata’s own, and he does not say anything more, leaning forward the same time that hinata does, a kiss saying a million more things than either could explain. and yet, komaeda finds himself pulling back, to smile at hinata as if he is the most precious thing in the world – which, to komaeda, he is.

“i love you too, hinata-kun.”

[etlunainmorte]

***

"So, will you take on the job, or not?"

The question has been bugging V, to be perfectly honest.

And it all started when a client visited the shop that one uneventful day.

V was busy sweeping the floor ( Dante was, as usual, sitting on his favorite chair with his booted feet propped up on the desk ) when the door suddenly opened, revealing a woman in her mid - twenties.

"Welcome to,... ah,..." the poet awkwardly began as he looked up from what he was doing ( he was instructed by Dante to keep practicing his greetings as a way of helping him loosen up in front of strangers and possible clients ) and took a look at the woman, who just ignored him and walked pass him.

"Are you Dante, the Legendary Devil Hunter?" The woman asked with her low and raspy voice.

"Yeah? How can I help you?" Dante lazily inquired as he stretched his arms like he just woke up from a long, undisturbed slumber

"I need you to drive out the evil spirit that's haunting my house." The lady demanded in a very bossy tone. "I'll pay you - "

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down, señorita!" The Devil Hunter, who was wide awake now due to the woman's brash attitude, held up both his hands in an attempt to interrupt his very demanding client. "This is a Devil Hunting Agency, and not some fancy paranormal shop for old wives."

The woman's eyes widened as she placed her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed at the ugly attitude that Dante just showed her. "As I've told you, I could pay you - "

"Nope! Not gonna drive out ghosts for ya, miss." Dante rested the back of his head against his raised arms once more as he settled his feet back on the desk. "And I hunt Devils, not spirits. They're just, eh. Small fry,..."

The woman closed her eyes, holding up her hands and balling them to fists as she kept her temper in check. And when she opened them once more, V saw her grab something from the pocket of her ripped jeans and carefully placed it on the desk. "If you ever change your mind, you should be able to find me on this address."

V's eyes never wavered from the woman as she made her way out of the shop, ignoring him once more and walking pass him like she didn't even see him standing there. He carefully placed the broom and the dust pan on one corner of the room and made his way towards Dante. He saw the business card on the table, picked it up, and faced the man behind the desk.

"The electric bill is due tomorrow." V reminded the man, hoping for him to reconsider. "Why did you refuse?"

Dante opened one eye and peered at him curiously. "Eh, I'm not interested in it."

"Why?"

Dante sighed and closed his eyes as he made himself comfortable on his favorite spot. "I told ya. Ghosts are just small fry. Not worth my time."

"But, the lady needs help. And she is willing to pay." V reiterated, stressing on the word pay. But, he was ignored by the Devil Hunter.

What's with people and their tendency to ignore him?

With a deep sigh, V left the man and read the contents, pondering for a while if he should accept the job in place of the lazy Dante. The simple card contained the name of the client and her address. Nothing more.

~ Avery L. Edwards ~

• No. 794 Swan Lane, Red Grave City •

He dragged his gaze off the words that seemed to hypnotize him and went out of the shop, hoping to find Avery L. Edwards.

And there she was, about to start the engine of her shiny dark bike with purple highlights.

"Miss Edwards,..." V called her attention, slightly running to catch up to her before she could drive away.

Avery fortunately ( and finally ) noticed him and removed her helmet, turning her gaze towards him and appraising him from head to foot. In fact, she looked so surprised that a man such as V was trying to have a conversation with her.

Was it his unusual appearance?

"And you are - ?"

"V." The poet answered, taking a deep breath and leaning on his metal cane for support. He, then, straightened his back and tilted his head to the side. "You can call me V."

"Oh. What can I do for you, V?"

"About the commission - "

"Stop. Right. There." Avery pointed at V, cutting him halfway through his sentence. "If you're planning to take on the Poltergeist at my home, then you're making a HUGE mistake."

Huh? "And may I ask,... why?"

"Furniture floating and smashing about. Disembodied voices in the middle of the night. And your skinny, princess ass begging to be fed and given vitamins. Are you goddamn sure?!"

Now, Dante may have sensed her odd attitude, but her wrongful assumption of him being incapable of the task did somehow put him on the edge. He looked at her straight in the eye, slightly bowing his head, and showing her his devilish smirk - a sign that he was more than ready for the simple task she originally have for Dante.

And this slightly unnerved the woman.

"I would like,... to see myself try." V simply told her.

The woman raised a scornful eyebrow. She knew that Dante was her one and only hope and choice. No other person in Red Grave could do it but him.

But, this man?

"So, will you take on the job, or not?"

"I would like to,... if you would allow me."

Avery furrowed her eyebrows and regarded him like he was some suicidal maniac begging to be fed to the lion. "Alright. I'll expect you tomorrow, then. Move into the house for a week. Bring whatever or whoever you need. You know my address."

"Would a cat and a bird do?" V innocently asked as he playfully twirled his metal cane in a display of confidence. This woman,... must be taught a lesson.

Avery pursed her lips and wore her helmet once more. "Sure. Whatever. I don't care. Just,... get rid of the ghost for me. I'll pay you. That I can assure you."

And with those words, she finally drove away.

Despite the question strangely bugging him, he was, in fact, feeling excited of this new mission. Yes, Dante might consider it as "small fry" but, facing Poltergeists was definitely a welcome change compared to his boring Devil Hunting routine. And he wanted so much to prove that woman wrong about him.

He was about to go back to the shop to pack what little belongings he have when he noticed Nico staring at him with wide eyes and open mouth. Apparently, she has been standing near the door for quite a while and must have heard the conversation between him and Avery. She almost dropped her groceries as she attempted to close her mouth and control her drooling.

Wait, did she look,... excited?

"Whoa, a paranormal investigation!" The Artisan gasped. "Can I tag along?"

"I don't - "

"Come on, man! Ya gotta let me!" Nico strode closer to him, flailing her arms about and almost sending her groceries flying everywhere. "This is like,... a dream come true for me! Okay, how about this: we'll split the pay 70 - 30. But, I'll be happy with nothing, though, if you don't want 70 - 30! But, come on, that's good deal, yeah?"

"Nico, I - "

"Please? I'll drive you on the way there. I will not be a bother."

V felt cornered. The woman looked really excited that he would surely feel guilty if he refused her.

Him, Griffon, Shadow, probably Nightmare, as well, and finally, Nico.

What could go wrong with this simple task of driving away a single evil spirit from someone's home with some comrades? After all, Avery did say he could bring just about anyone.

And what does her house look like, anyway? And what was the reason behind this Poltergeist's ceaseless haunting?

***

✒ P.S. I Love You ✒

***

~ A V X Reader set in a modern Alternate Universe.

~ Life goes back to normal after the fall of Urizen, the Demon King. V, one of the Demon Hunters who survived the demonic invasion, officially joins Devil May Cry and takes on small jobs to make ends meet. One day, a female client hires him to drive away an evil spirit that haunts her home. Along with Nico, who brings along her new state - of - the - art gadgets to help him on his new mission, and his familiars, Griffon, Shadow, and Nightmare, V moves to his client's home - a mansion rich with history, both happy and dark. And in that mansion, he finds a diary that once belonged to the client's great grandmother, a woman named (Y/N) (L/N), who is, somehow, connected to the hauntings of the restless spirit he must drive out.

~ A Halloween special from yours, truly. Enjoy. 🖤🖤🖤

***

✒ A special thanks to @la-vita for introducing us to Avery L. Edwards. ✒

✒ @micaelagua ✒

***

✒✒✒

***

[witchy-anna]

Hawks SFW Fluff Alphabet

I unintentially made this one longer than the nsfw alphabet 

NSFW alphabet

Hope you enjoy!

A: Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Clingy af. You may have to invest in a crowbar to pry him off your leg. He does not understand personal space but you love it anyway. 

B: Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

When you talk about something you're interested or passionate about. He'll listen intently to your every word and ask questions just to get you to continue talking about it. 

C: Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

He'd ride around on your back if he could. He particularly loves sitting you between his legs or straddling him while encasing both of you with his wings. 

He craves your touch. Your warmth is enough to melt away his stress and worries. 

Being a celebrity comes with a lot of fans groping his wings or being to touchy feely with him. 

He knows you respect his boundaries and the thought makes him happy beyond words. 

At first he'll feel apprehensive with allowing you to touch his wings but quickly realizes how intimate it feels and will legit beg you. 

Like I said, clingy af. 

.D: Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Building his career to the point where he can live a comfortable future with you. 

He is young but he often thinks of having tiny versions of the both of you. 

E: Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

When courting you he will "conveniently" be at the same place at the same time as you are. Flirtatious as hell but also a sweetheart. He doesn't compliment you just for the sake of it but because he genuinely feels that way. 

Once he successfully courts you he won't push you because he's afraid of scaring you away. However, he will take you on extravagant but private dates. He's afraid of the press getting a whiff of you and ruining what you both have. 

When he is certain you're his to keep you'll be all over his social media. 

He is a proud birb. 

F: Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

When you have nightmares he will hold you close and wrap you both in his wings. If you cry he will end up a sobbing mess. It absolutely breaks his heart to see you cry and you'll end up being the one conforming him. 

(My personal h/c for him) The poor sweetheart has terrible nightmares. He's been through a lot and even though he tries to keep that carefree persona, he does break. When this happens take him in your arms and wipe away his tears. Pepper his face with kisses and stroke his wings to calm him. 

G: Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Random stuff he'll see on patrol or scrolling through his social media. He falls for those ads of items that end up looking nothing alike. One time he got you a shirt with his face on it. 

Make him chicken and he'll be the happiest cannibal out there. 

H: Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

As stated before he is clingy af. The more he can get his arms around you the better. You're his solace and comfort in his stress ridden life. 

I: Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

As much of a goofball as he is, he works hard to be romantic. Due to how busy he is he puts extra thought into dates to make them all the more special in case you can't see each other for awhile. 

This man cherishes you and will. Make. Fucking. Sure. You. Know. It. 

J: Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Not often no. He's extremely self confident and knows he works hard for your relationship with him. 

K: Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

His kisses take your breath away. That man knows how to kiss. However, he is much more of a cuddle bug than a kisser. Much more likely to be trying to get his arms around you then getting to your mouth. 

L: Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

It was after an exhausting straight week of working when you both had a cuddle date. He had you in his arms while watching mindless TV and it just hit him how much he loved you. 

You freaked out because he started sobbing and couldn't understand a word he was saying. 

After calming him down he told you just how much you meant to him. 

Keigo doesn't say it often because he feels it's something precious and doesn't want to overuse it. 

He instead shows you his love through physical contact. 

M: Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

Yes, he pretty much started to plan the wedding immediately after telling you he loved you. 

The ceremony will be huge and publicized. 

He wants the whole damn world to know you're his. 

N: Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Keigo is a busy man so when he has time for a date with you he goes all out. 

Typically very private dates. He does want to show you off but also wants you all to himself. 

Also because he is a celebrity and people tend to rudely interrupt or take pictures of the two of you. 

O: Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

Bring you to his agency or work. 

He's irrationally afraid of scaring you with the work he does or hurting you. 

He keeps no secrets from you but also feels it's different for you to see in person just how grueling his job can be. 

P: Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

This man is the epitome of playful. He's a huge goofball and it's his mission in life to get you to laugh. 

He loves your laugh no matter how it sounds. 

Q: Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Your opinions matter to him but he's not always open about his own. 

He's typically more concerned about your thoughts than his own. 

He does not keep any secrets from you and expects the same from you. 

R: Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Half and half. 

He shows up randomly to see you. Sometimes it feels like he has a tracker on you. 

Other times he meticulously plans things out. 

S: Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

He's a stomach or side sleeper. His favorite position is on top of you with his face in your chest and arms around you. 

If he ever ends up on his back, he'll wake up a cranky asshole. Give him kisses and hugs though and he'll perk up.

One time you woke up on a particularly cold night to find him sitting up snoring and cradling  you against his chest. With his wings wrapped around the both of you and completely covered in blankets. 

T: Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

He trusts you unconditionally. 

Keigo believes because you accepted his crackhead personality and the not so fun things he's had to do for his job, that you're worth it. 

It took a bit before he trusted you enough to tell you his secrets. 

But once he did, he told you everything. 

It's also hard as hell for him to keep surprises from you. He usually ends up spoiling gifts or surprise dates early because he's so excited. 

U: Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

He's extremely intelligent and has a fantastic memory. 

If you tell him something as an afterthought he will still remember it even if you don't. 

This has a downside though because if you do something embarrassing he will never let you live it down. 

V: Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

It took a bit for him to let his guard completely down. 

He's used to keeping up the perfect persona of being a celebrity pro hero. 

The first time he truly let himself be vulnerable was when he told you he loved you. 

When he gets upset and overwhelmed he breaks apart. 

His public image is so important so you are the only one who knows this side of him. 

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

You once asked him if he was homeless because he was almost always at your place. 

You end up begging him to take you to his house. Upon seeing it got upset why he preferred to spend so much time in your tiny ass apartment while his house was massive. This Birb has $$$. 

He was really embarrassed and hurt when you said that and ended up ghosting you for a bit. 

After a small fight he ended up admitting that your apartment smelled like you and he felt more at home there with you than he ever did in his own house. 

After that more and more of his stuff gradually showed up in your apartment. 

You didn't think much of it but ended up finding out he sold his house and moved in with you without your knowledge when his mail started arriving at your place.

It's a well known fact he is obsessed with chicken. 

Prepare for your fridge and freezer to be jam packed with chicken products. 

It's a good thing he makes money because this man can eat! 

X: X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Mother-hen mode. Enough said. 

Y: Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Keigo is a massive attention whore. He gets really butt hurt and huffy if you push him away. 

Even to the point of ghosting you. Please take pity on him. 

His eating habits. 

He tends to stress eat and will eat with his mouth open. 

Oh and if you got chicken for yourself you better eat it as soon as possible, because he WILL steal it. 

Z: Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

You are his world. He is the cuddliest clingiest person who worships your body. (cont. in nsfw alphabet!) 

[strawberrylovessebby]

Bloodlines (part one: Nightmares)

Pairing: Hunter!Chris (Destroyer) x Banshee!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: Nightmares, corpses and a big and grumpy hunter. Five months since you became a Banshee, and to be honest? You just want to fucking sleep.

Warnings: Some bad words, a lot of blood and one (1) dead person. Also nightmares and a bunch of lies (does this need a warning?).

A/N: This is the first chapter of my entry for my beautiful bambolina’s FREAKY500 writing challenge! (@thewritingdoll)🍓 I really fucking love the prompt I choose and I can’t thank you enough for being my beta ;A; you have my whole heart! So, this is like my first fic in english, be kind please! Hope you peeps enjoy! Every kind of feedback is a b s o l u t e l y appreciated!🍓🍓

series masterlist

Before starting college two years ago, you thought about so many things that could go wrong while there. Like bad parties, too many lessons, nights spent studying and fake friends. However, not a single one of that thoughts included becoming a banshee.

And yet, here you were.

Five months after the bite you found yourself, in the middle of the night, in a place you didn’t even know where it was. Again. And at your feet; a corpse.

A woman. Laying on her stomach. From where you were standing you couldn’t see her face, but you could see, very clearly, the hole on her side. The flesh devoured by something.

The blood was everywhere, and you stumbled backward in the exact moment you realized you were standing with your bare feet in the middle of the pool around the body.

You bit back the tears, resisting the urge to scream, and wrapped your hands around your arms, tight. Your tank top and shorts doing nothing to keep you covered, while goosebumps raised on your skin.

The silence all around you broke when you circled the woman. Something telling you to look at her face. Voices, whispering quietly in your head.

Look. Look at her. Look at me.

Her face was pale. Eyes spent, watching nothing. Dread still lingering on her features.

Then, the woman was watching you and a name rolled off her tongue with more blood. And you screamed, opening your eyes.

“ Hey! Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare. Shhh. ”

You focused your gaze on your best friend’s face, her brows furrowed in a worried look, and slowly you started to feel your mind come back to reality. You felt the warm air of your house, the hard wood under your feet and heard the noises from the street outside your building. But the chills on your skin were still there, just like the distant sound of the raspy voice of the dead woman. The name still reverberating inside your mind.

“ Are you okay? ”

Your best friend voice startled you and you looked back at her. You didn’t notice that your gaze shifted from her to the door in front of you. And just in that moment you realized that you were standing in the entryway of your house.

“ I… yes. Sorry, I’m okay, just… ”

“ Don’t worry… let’s go back to sleep, okay? ”

“ Yeah. Sure… ”

You didn’t really try to fall asleep again for the few hours until morning, too scared you’d wake up in the street this time, or worse, that you’d see again the face of that woman.

The name she told you still clear in your mind. Were you supposed to know the person that name belonged to? You weren’t sure why, but it weighed on your tongue, so you left it slip out your mouth, breaking the silence in your room.

“ Chris. ”

　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　•••

The morning went like any other day. Neither you or your roommate talked about what happened the night before. You convinced her many months ago that it was just stress, and you thanked anyone that was listening that she actually believed it.

You were ready to forget everything about that nightmare. Put the dead woman in the corner of your mind where you started to hide every weird thing you saw since the day you were bitten by that fucking alpha.

But life’s never so easy, right?

Most of the times, when you weren’t in your house, inside the college or at work in the library you focused yourself on the road you had to do. Keep your mind on the street. But that morning you couldn’t, because of the distant buzz in your ears.

The voices weren’t loud enough to be annoying, but they kept you distracted. You didn’t notice you took the way on your right instead to keep going straight ahead. Neither did you see the policemen until the alarm of one of the police cars snapped you out of your thoughts.

You looked around yourself, cursing under your breath. You were definitely very far away from your college. And that place looked familiar, in a disturbing way.

A chill ran up your spine the moment you realized that you were standing not too distant from the spot where the dead woman was, in your nightmare.

You should spin on your heels and run to college; you were already late! But you couldn’t. So you didn’t.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and one step after another you made your way between the small group of people that blocked your view. A crowd of curious of every age and sex.

You managed to reach the yellow barricade tape without too many problems, the distant voices in your ears becoming more than a soft buzz the moment your eyes landed on the figure laying on the ground. The body was half covered from the agents scattered all around the place, but you could recognize the woman anyway. Same clothes, same hair and same pool of blood circling her middle and painting the floor.

Just like in the nightmare, you couldn’t see her face.

One of the agents, FBI perhaps, stood up after checking the corpse and your gaze was drawn to his face. He pinched the base of his nose, closing his eyes, and he seemed just so tired. And sad.

The man, after a long sigh, covered his eyes with the same hand, that then slipped over his buzzed haircut until the back of his head. His eyes looked down at the woman and you could see him talk, but you were too far to hear, or even try to read his lips. You averted your gaze, watching around him, trying to understand with who was he talking, but he was the only one near the body. And the only FBI agent too.

With every passing second the voices were becoming more insistent and you wrapped your arms around your waist. You couldn’t stay any longer, not without ending with a major headache and a lot of other nightmares. You couldn’t help anyway, no one ever would believe in what you could do. No one.

You watched the body one last time, before finding yourself in need to see again that FBI agent. So you looked up, searching the man, and you found him already looking at you from afar.

Your eyes locked together and you felt the voices roaring in your head, almost screaming the name the dead woman told you.

Chris. Chris. Chris!

You pressed your hands on your ears, closing your eyes, whining for the pain all those voices were making you feel. And you almost forgot that you were surrounded by people, the dead so loud that you couldn’t even understand what was real and what was just inside your mind.

You opened your eyes when you felt strong arms beneath you and a warm chest pressed against your side. It wasn’t easy to focus your gaze on something -anything- with the fucking headache currently splitting your skull in half, but the screams stopped the exact moment you heard the voice of the person that was holding you.

Drowning down the cries with every passing second and rumbling low in his chest, the man’s voice helped you until your view stopped being just a blur full of black little stars. And the first thing you saw was him. The FBI agent. From up close you could see his eyes; oceans of deep and dark water, agitated by a storm happening inside his mind. They were beautiful.

“ Hey kid, I’m talking to you. Can you hear me? ”

“ I’m twenty-one… ” you cringed at your own words, it was definitely not the smartest thing to say to this hot man, good job genius. “ Uh— I mean— let me go, please.”

You pushed yourself away from the man, almost falling on your ass if it wasn’t for him holding your waist.

He looked at you with a quirked eyebrow and lifted his hands from you the moment he was sure you weren’t going to fall.

“ Thank you. ”

You spoke with soft voice, averting your gaze from the man before you and finally seeing that he actually took you pretty far away from the crowd. The corpse was now inside a black bag, you could see the coroner pointing the back of the van before she disappeared behind it with the stretcher.

“ Did you know her? ”

The agent voice made your attention shift back to him. He was looking at the crowd, but his gaze came back on your form slowly. He watched you up and down and you couldn’t help but notice that he was, in fact, analyzing you. For a second, you were scared he was going to see something, a detail, that would gave away that you weren’t completely human anymore.

But he just looked you in the eyes, same serious expression.

“ Well… ” a thought popped up in your mind, an idea. You had to know who that woman was, and maybe that agent would tell you something more about her, if you could convince him that you knew her! “ Yes! Actually, yes… she was my— uh— aunt! Yes, my aunt. And uhm— I was on my way to college when I saw the crowd! I don’t know how I’m gonna tell my mom about her… ”

You felt some guilt build inside you and you thought about the real family the dead woman should has. Was she an aunt? A mother? A wife? The last thing you wanted to do was disrespect her and her family, but you had to know who she was. And why she was in your dream. And, most important, who was Chris.

“ Do you know who could have done that to her, agent? I’m so scared… Oh! I should call her husband! ”

“ Husband? ”

“ Yes… uhm, uncle Chris, he— ”

The neutral expression the man had plastered on his face during all your rambling shifted dangerously fast when that name left your lips. In a matter of seconds it became confused, then angry, and a chill ran up your spine. He took you by your arm, his grip was tight enough to hurt you.

“ Who the fuck are you? ”

“ Hey, let me go! I told you— ”

“ She didn’t have a single family member alive, so drop the bullshit. How do you know that name? ”

And then it hit you. Every detail get into place. The face he had beside the body it was because he knew her. And the voices getting loud the moment you saw his eyes but disappearing when he talked to you. Everything.

“ It’s you. You are Chris… ”

A shout came from behind the man, where the police was still working, and both of you looked back to see who wanted to gain your attention. And there stood two more agents.

They called again, a name that it wasn’t yours but now you could tell it wasn’t even the man’s before you.

“ Fuck. ”

Chris, sliding his hand from your forearm to your wrist, began to walk, fast, pulling you with him. You wanted to stop, resist him, scream for help or maybe just run the other way, you could do that, but you didn’t. Because you wanted answers more than how much you wanted to run.

“ Get in the car. ”

He left your wrist and you opened the car door, sliding in the passenger side without a word.

[kz-i-co]

Aftertaste

Request: "Hello, can you make a vampire au smut with jay?"

Pairing: Kim Jinhwan (Jay)/ Reader

Genre: smut

Words: 2.6k

m.list ╫ ikon masterlist

-

"Wait, no!" You ran after the bus as it took off leaving you stranded. You stopped to catch your breath as you looked around thinking what you were suppose to do in this situation. You never missed the bus ever. Your work shift had you in a rush, from a last minute customer which is why you had to sprint all the way here but it unfortunately wasn't good enough.

"11 blocks, that's not so bad." You spoke to yourself as you started your long journey on the way back to your apartment.

It was past midnight and very dark and gloomy. You hated working in the restaurant business. It was never a steady shift.

It was not only dark it was cold and wet outside. You held onto your jacket tighter as you speed walked passing alley by alley. You looked back just to see how empty the streets really were but your eyes focused on a figure under a bus stop watching your every move. You stopped suddenly and leaned forward to get a closer look but once you did, it was like nothing was there. You assumed it was just your fear playing tricks on you.

As you turned around once again to continue your walk, a figure standing in front of your caught you off guard, having you gulp in fear.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." He smiled.

You had an eerie feeling about him but the thing was he didn't look to be dangerous. You shook in fear causing him to lean closer.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said. "But why are you walking out here all by yourself in the dark?"

"I missed my bus." You said still shook.

"Do you know you're being followed?" He asked looking past you.

"What?" You looked back to see a figure hide around an alley once again.

"I can protect you if you want." He whispered behind you.

You looked back at him seeing a cheeky smile. "Please just leave me alone." You cried and continued walking.

"Ma'am no offense but if I wanted to kidnap you I would of done it by now." He said walking side by side with you. "I'm trying to keep him from kidnapping you." He said pointing behind him.

"What do you want? Money? Tell your friend to leave me alone." You said still rushing in a panic.

"He's not my friend trust me." He laughed.

"But you know him?"

"We go way back." He said.

"Tell him to leave and I'll give you whatever I have. I'm just a broke student trying to make my way through college. Please just don't hurt me." You we're on the verge of tears.

"Okay calm down." He said and walked past you to the mysterious figure.

Once he left your side you took off in a sprint, running as your life depended on it. You have never felt more scarred in your entire life. You looked back seeing the streets empty and once you looked back forward, you were pulled into an alley quickly. You screamed in fear as the mysterious figure, pinned you against the wall. He opened his mouth growling as two sharp fangs filled up the space. His eyes turned black as veins moved under the surface in a demotic view.

You cried in horror as he leaned forward before another figure appeared behind him snapping his neck sending him collapsing to the ground. You looked up once again seeing the guy that was talking to you earlier. "You should of took my offer." He smirked.

"Who are you, what is that?" You cried.

"Look straight in my eyes." He leaned forward causing you to be hypnotized. "Me and your roommate go way back and I agreed to walk you home. You got attacked and I saved you. You are beyond grateful, you do anything on my command to pay me back in return I protect you."

"You protect me." You repeated back still hypnotized.

"Yes." He smiled and he tilted your head to the side letting your neck be exposed. He bit his fangs into your neck letting the blood to suck through. You felt nothing from you being under his spell. Once he took enough sample, he kissed your soft skin, cleaning up any other dried blood.

He pulled away wiping his mouth clean and snapped his fingers. You blinked awake remembering the limit you had.

"Are you okay?" He asked playing his part.

"Yeah, thank you for saving me." You said steadying your breath. "Sorry what's your name again?"

"Jay." He said and he took your arm guiding you back to the streets. "As long as you're with me, you'll be safe."

"I don't know how I will ever repay you?" You said.

"I trust you can managed." He smiled walking you home the rest of the way.

....

"Thank you for taking the time to walk me home." You blushed. You saw him better in the light that was coming off your apartment. He was so attractive but you couldn't remember how he and Sinhee were friends again.

"Don't ever walk home alone again, it's too dangerous." He said.

"Okay." You nodded and went inside.

"Where have you been?" Julia asked.

"I missed my bus, but no worries Sinhee's friend walked me home." You said.

"My friend?" She asked.

"Yeah, He said his name was Jay."

"I don't have a friend named Jay....I have a cousin named Youngjae but he goes by Jae." She said.

"Oh, you're cousins? Cool." You said.

"Yeah, wonder why he didn't come inside?" She asked.

"Well I'm going to bed." You said. You walked to your room and stripped your clothing wanting a quick shower first.

You looked in the mirror noticing two small puncture bites on your neck. "What the hell?" You said. You didn't think anything of it, maybe it was some spider bite or something. You put a bandage over with some antibiotics hoping that would speed up the healing process.

-

The next day you kept looking at your phone to check the time. You didn't want to miss your bus again. "Sir?"

"What?" Your boss looked at you annoyed from already being stressed.

"Can I leave ten minutes early? I take a bus and it's the last one of the night." You begged.

"Fine, but this will come out of your pay. Work on getting a car (Y/L/N)." He walked away.

You just bowed respectfully. Once it was time you could leave, you grabbed your things and made your way to the bus stop. You felt a blessing as people were still waiting for the bus. It was just a relief you knew you made it in time.

"Did you drop this?" A man handed you your name tag. "(Y/N). Pretty name." The man smiled.

"Thank you." You mumbled and looked forward once again as the bus was finally arriving. When you got onto the bus, you made your way to the back just so you wouldn't be bothered but the man that spoke to you was directly across staring into your soul.

He suddenly moved to the seat closer to you. "So (Y/N), Are you usually by yourself?" He asked.

"I don't know you so please get away from me." You snapped, he looked at you like you were a meal and you wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

"I can't." He whispered close to your ear. You shivered as you looked at him. "I want a piece of you." He licked his lips and you saw veins move under his eyes. You were beyond scared but it looked familiar, like your nightmares were coming true.

You opened your mouth about to scream but you couldn't look away from his eyes as you felt hypnotized. "You will shut up and act like your enjoying every minute."

You sat there unfazed and he punctured into your neck sucking quickly. You moaned acting like it was giving you the best pleasure causing looks throughout the bus. You felt yourself growing weaker by the second.

The bus stopped suddenly as the attention was at the bus driver. A cop suddenly came into the bus saying the bus needed to be evacuated from a bomb threat. "Hurry, everyone. There is a detour bus down the street." He said.

Then as the bus was empty you saw a familiar face make his way onto the bus. "Should have know it was you." The man next to you stood up. You were too weak to even lift your head and you felt your eyes fall heavier and heavier.

You heard common before drifting off to a deep dark sleep.

-

You woke up the next morning, in your bed. You remembered the events of last night. You saw a demon and the last thing you remember was seeing Jay's familiar smirk. You blushed just thinking about him. You didn't know why he was giving you these type of emotions so suddenly. You got up feeling refreshed and went to the mirror. You remember that strange man biting you. What was he? You saw no evidence of bite marks upon your skin. What was going on? Were you dreaming?

You were off today so you were happy you could relax for once. Or so you thought. "Please come?"

"I want to stay home and relax." You whined.

"Come on. Julia says she got us VIP tickets so we don't even have to wait in line." Sinhee said excited.

"We are all single, we need a day of fun." She said.

"Fine."

....

You were waiting for a drink as your roommates already left you for some dudes. "Why aren't you home resting?" Someone spoke to you and you turned around relieved it was Jay.

"What do you mean?" You asked.

He looked around and suddenly grabbed your hand leading you the the bathroom hallway, where it was vacant from the loud music.

"You're in danger (Y/N) and you almost died last night." He spoke.

"What?"

"I was going to compel you but it's probably best if you know." You looked at him biting your lip. He had you pinned against the wall, causing you to feel affected. "Are you listening to me?"

"Hmm hmm." You nodded grabbing the hem of his shirt.

He sighed at your behavior. "Snap out of it." He pushed your hand away. "You were so weak when I got you, I had to give you my blood so that's why you're probably acting like this."

"Like what?" You grabbed his pants buckle.

He grabbed your hand again. "It should wear off soon."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You smiled.

You noticed the veins moving under his eyes like you seen on the other man, but it didn't scare you on him.

"What are you?" You asked.

"We call ourselves blood suckers." He said looking away from you as the veins continue to move.

"Vampire?" You asked.

"Yeah."

"So you only eat blood?" You continued asking questions. "When's the last time you ate?"

"A few days ago." He spoke.

"Are you hungry? Is that why your eyes are changing color?"

He pulled up his phone to look at his reflection. He quickly covered his face. "You need to go home right now." He said.

"Do you have control in your thirst?" He nodded. You tiled your head to the side showing him your offer. "It's okay."

He looked at you sweetly as he leaned forward. You felt butterflies from him leaning his body up towards yours. You felt the sting of his fangs punctured your neck and the blood flow leaving your body. You knew he said you were only feeling a soft spot for him because of his blood in your system but you felt something for him and you felt no pain.

He pulled away slowly and as you looked him in the eyes, you brought your lips to him desperately. He didn't take long to respond. Your hands were exploring down his body until you reached his belt buckle once again. As you pulled on the metal material, he pulled away looking guilty. "We can't do this, you're not in your right mind."

"I want this trust me." You smirked.

"I can't trust you unfortunately." He looked at you amused.

"Then compel me to stop." You said flirty.

He pursed his lips and grabbed your hand leading you to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and you looked at him sweetly.

"You can't like me (Y/N), I'm dangerous." He said stepping closer to you.

"You saved my life twice, how are you dangerous?" You started to unbutton his shirt slowly.

"If I get too hungry I can hurt you."

"I won't let that happen." You smiled. "You're not a monster."

"If you didn't have my blood in your system, you would probably be afraid of me."

"I don't think that's true. I was thinking about you before you saved me last night." You bit your lip as you got to the last button.

You placed your hands up and down his toned torso feeling the butterflies in the process. He was beautiful.

You unbuckled his belt and quickly unzipped his jeans and he stopped you and picked you up to place you on the counter. He brought his lips towards your neck but kissing instead. You moaned as you tilted your head back, enjoying every minute. You felt your panties growing more moist as you felt his excitement through your legs.

You moved your hand down, slipping them inside his briefs feeling up the tight space. Once you grabbed his member suddenly, you felt him slightly bite you from the surprise.

He moved away from your neck quickly and looked at you with regret. You just smiled and caressed his cheek as you saw the veins come and go. "You didn't hurt me." You whispered.

"I probably will." He looked down.

"No you won't." You said stern. You moved your lips to his once again and began to pull up your dress to remove your panties. You grabbed his hand, leading him towards the area. You went back to pulling him out to get him ready for you. He removed his lips from yours and continued kissing down your jaw line until he reached your neck once again. You moved closer to the edge of the sink and pulled him closer to you. He guided himself into you and you moaned from the sudden tightness.

You blushed from the cute moans that escaped his lips as he began to move against you quickly. You kissed down his neck as he grabbed your hips to deepen the angle causing you to scream. You didn't care how loud you were moaning. You heard several times the door being pounded on causing the adrenaline to stir up. He pulled out of you and set you back on the ground to turn you around and lean you forward. He shoved himself back in and began to pound into you again and a quicker speed.

You were a moaning mess by this point. He grabbed your wrist, kissing it gently before sucking his teeth into the soft surface. You laid there defenseless as you felt your high making you weak. He thrusted a few more times and jerked slowly as he finally released and let go of your hand. You looked up seeing him in the mirror behind you as his dark eyes faded back to his beautiful brown eyes. He pulled out slowly trying to catch his breath. You smiled excitedly and got up grabbing your underwear.

"You can take me home now." You smirked as he buttoned up his shirt again.

He gave you that intense vampire stare as he lead you out the bathroom seeing a long line of ladies waiting impatiently.

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

17th September 2017

My alarm went off at 0600. We were now starting at 0700 so an extra hour lay in was a gift from above. I couldn't get out of bed. I had about 4 hours sleep, if that. I sneaked out and started getting ready. Steve was asleep but woke up every now and then. He's a very light sleeper so there's nothing I can do. Lexi knocked and asked if I was ready. I went outside and we left at 0640. Lexi was stupidly hungover. She got to bed around 0400. She told me that loads of people were absolutely hammered. I can believe it! I was watching the snapchats from some of the people and it looked like a crazy night. Nick was trying to smash a glass beer bottle over his head because he's a moron, Louisa couldn't stand she was that drunk. Everyone told her to go to her room to get water. She disappeared for 2 minutes and returned with a wok full of water. Everyone laughed at her. They all poured beer into it. She also tried to make scrambled egg and cracked them all outside her bedroom door. She starts work at 0800 today... We got to work and Lexi showed me round. There are 4 girls from our hostel that work here, Myself (now), Lexi, Lisa and Lucy. All the L's. Apparently, Seaview cafe is extremely unorganised and I don't believe they know how to run it properly. I mean, it obviously works for them but in my eyes, it's a stupid way of running it. I would change so much. You don't have a specific member of staff on one bit... So, I had to clear the tables, serve at the till, become a barista and try to make the coffees using a proper machine, make milkshakes, fruit juices and smoothies, be pot wash and put away all pots and pans. You can to do as much as possible, all at once... I just don't understand why you wouldn't have one person doing pot wash, one person doing the coffee, one person on the tills... It's just plain stupid. I started clearing the tables, which has to be done with a basket. Then I had to jump onto making coffees which I have never done in my entire life. I was shown how to make the coffee's once someone ordered it and then I was expected to be able to make them from then on. It was really busy between 0700-1000. After that, it died down. The travel busses always stop outside Seaview in Cardwell for their half an hour breaks. Seaview is open 24/7 so I presume I'll be on the late at some point soon. When the busses arrive and the 20+ people get off, they all order food and coffee. I hate it. We get about 3-4 busses every shift and it's a nightmare. After the 4-5 hour rush of pretending to be everything I'm not, I then become the toilet cleaner... Seaview has one room for the female toilets, one room for the male toilets, one room for the mixed gender toilets and showers, and one single toilet. I washed and scrubbed 8-10 toilets and 3 showers. Swept, mopped and hosed down. It took just over an hour to do them all. Apparently, the evening shift is basically just cleaning which I like the sound of. Although, they should probably just hire a cleaner. They should immediately make me supervisor and let me change everything for a much smoother service. I finished at 1400. At weekends, they pay you $27 an hour which is brilliant. It's $5 more an hour than the banana farm so I may end up better off anyway. Weekdays is about $24 I think, which is still good and $2 more than bananas. It's just a hell of a lot to learn. A bit overwhelming, but I suppose everyone feels that way about a new job. I got home and Steve didn't complete the two tasks requested. Put the wash on and tidy the room a bit. I text saying I was on my way home and he sprang to life and tried to tidy as much as he could within the 15 minutes it took me to walk home. We'll see if he can manage the washing tomorrow. I laid on the bed straight away and felt like dying. My feet were blistered and I was starving. Anything you eat at Seaview comes out of your wages so obviously I didn't eat. There's no point bringing lunch because they don't allow you to have breaks. Steve made me a ham, cheese and lettuce sandwich straight away which was great. I hadn't eaten all day. He also made me a cup of tea which was a dream because I haven't had tea since Tasmania. Steve put the film Ice Princess on for me that I picked in Leonie's office and I chilled out for the next half an hour or so. Danny and Sarah needed dropping off at Seaview to catch their bus to Cairns. They were going to hitchhike but Leonie wouldn't let them. She offered to pay for one of their tickets to make sure they wouldn't hitchhike. It's so nice of her to do that, but they should've just paid the money themselves. Poor Leonie. We dropped them off, said our goodbyes and drove back. We put the film back on and I could continue chilling. After the film, I had my shower and got onto finishing off my blogs. Steve said he had a nice relaxing day. He went down to the pool around 1300 to do a fair few lengths. We're hoping that he has work on Tuesday at the watermelon farm as they need a few workers to help them out. I listened to music whilst writing my blogs and Steve jumped in the van with Fraser and Rory to IGA. He said that he was going to cook me dinner and surprise me with it. He got back and he couldn't be bothered to cook anymore. That'll be tomorrows dinner then... It's now 2121 and we're both going with food due to laziness, for the 10,000th time. I'm back in work tomorrow at 1100 and I've had a cry about it. I have no idea why. I feel a little homesick and undecided about what to do. Everyone has left and we're practically the only ones left. Should we be leaving? I'm emotional about the job purely because I don't know what I'm doing and it stresses me out. I get too nervous. I don't like change.

[bakukirikami]

I'd like to request all the angsty headcanons please

GOD ok this ask is over a week old but im finally ready 2 deliver

under the cut bc this is literally 2k of bakukirikami angst hc’s

bakugou

not rlly super angsty but he’s rlly touch sensitive

mainly bc of the sludge villain which. makes sense

the first time kiri and kami swings an arm over his shoulder he flinches To The Max and they’re shocked bc angry baku just jumped away from them

though it’s good for the beginning of their relationship bc it helps them realise and understand it

they both ask him first if they can hug him and tbh for the first few seconds baku doesn’t know what to do

eventually he hugs them back and Gosh it’s such a good feeling

he feels a little calmer and he just relaxes and shit he feels gr88

he doesn’t even mind if he tells anyone else abt hugging them bc he’s just so glad that he feels safe being held by someone

tbh it’s not easy to overcome something like that? esp for baku, he’s so used to having control that the sludge villain really hit him hard.

the first time they share a bed together baku’s in the middle although he’s the tallest.

he’s been so long without proper touch and kiri and kami really just wanna make him feel loved

at first it’s Too Much Touch and he feels really trapped but his bf’s really did some research abt touch sensitivity and they figured out how to calm him down

he sleeps really well when he’s in the middle bc he knows that he’s literally surrounded by love

he’s the last of the three to wake up in the morning and when he does he can just hear kiri and kami whispering about how much they love him so he buries his head in his pillow and kicks them both so they don’t see him smiling and blushing

eventually after a REALLY LONG TIME he does end up trusting 1a so he doesn’t really mind if they know about his touch sensitivity

there’s nothing wrong with it ofc he’s not any less of a hero it’s just another part of him

but if anyone from another class/in general mocks him about his flinching he will try to explode him and it takes kiri and kami 43 tries to get him to calm down

he finds it really irritating ofc bc he wasn’t always touch sensitive! fuckin sludge villain

when he goes home to visit his family he brings kiri and kami home to meet them

mitsuki hasn’t seen baku in ages so her first instinct is to hug him which is p normal for a mom imo

he flinches for a second and then he realises this is my mom she literally has baby soft skin she can’t hurt me before he relaxes

she still notices his flinching bc she’s his fuckin mom so she asks kiri about it later bc he seems like a good lad

kami overhears and helps explain

later when they’re trying to go to sleep they tell baku and he just shrugs bc he doesn’t mind. he’s getting used to it now

sidenote bakugou’s family fucking love kiri and kami

when he finds out ragdoll lost her quirk he gets a few nightmares about losing his own quirk

makes sense tbh bc the majority of his confidence and arrogance stemmed from his Super Awesome Quirk

usually ends up with him waking up really sweaty and holes in his blankets from uncontrolled explosions during his sleep

he goes to the bathroom to cool off and he stares at his reflection a lot and constantly reminds himself that he’s not going to lose his quirk he’s not he’s not he’s not

what happened to ragdoll isn’t going to happen to him he’s okay

when/if kiri and kami find out they’re shocked again bc they’re not used to insecure bakugou

however they do reassure him a lot that he’s not going to lose his quirk

they remind him a lot that nightmares don’t make you weak at all

he doesn’t usually say anything but if he does it’s usually just “yeah, yeah, yeah, i know.”

“thanks dumbasses”

his dreams usually rotate between hero dreams and fluffy dreams abt his bf’s so the first time he has a nightmare he’s super pissed off bc! He’s strong he shouldn’t be getting nightmares

kami and kiri are Best Bfs they buy baku all might merch when he’s feeling Bad

kirishima

right so listen up kiri’s rlly insecure about his quirk in general so like after baku got kidnapped he really beat himself up about it like A LOT A LOT

his updated hero costume has sleeves from a few of the scars he gave himself during that time

bc of his quirk he rlly doesn’t need armour or anything so everything when they tell him he can upgrade he goes

“fuck i need to hide these scars”, thus, sleeves

during the hero license exam arc kami’s confused bc why the fuck would kirishima, whos ((pretty much)) made of steel need s l e E V E S

kami doesn’t question it tho bc who the fuck is he to judge. kami’s costume is literally just a cool jacket and pants w/ lightning bolts

baku (and everyone else) doesn’t really notice bc theyre used to kiri’s Extra As Fuck costume

anyway eventually bakugou and kaminari are going to end up seeing his scars, whether on purpose or not

when kiri explains baku’s first reaction is just anger bc not only does he think he’s the reason for all might’s end, but he’s thinks that it’s his fault kiri hurt himself

its no one’s fault of but neither of them know what to say but they just both hold kiri really tightly and at that moment, that’s all he needs

DOESN’T LIKE TALKING ABT HIS FEELINGS BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO BURDEN HIS PALS

sunshine kid needs to stop bottling things up blease kiri

spends half of his time in class overthinking about things

he wants to make everyone happy and please everyone but kiri u can’t do that you gotta make yourself happy first

after he, baku and kami get together he talks a lot abt his insecurities and he feels so liberated honestly its a good feel u go kiri 👏👏

they’ll be in bakugou’s room watching a movie and as soon as the credits start rollin he exhales and sits up straight and just Starts Talking

bakugou and kami don’t interrupt them, they just let him talk and as soon as he’s done kami cuddles him and drowns him in blankets

baku does His Thing but kiri still knows he cares so he smiles really fondly at baku which makes him blush bc kiri has the nicest smile!

eventually kami will make bakugou cuddle w/ them

they all sleep a lot better that night.

(kiri’s in the middle)

used to get a lot of shit @ middle school during The Edgy Phase

filed his teeth in anger

vowed to be the nicest person he could be

he doesn’t like thinking about it a lot but he definitely thinks it made him a stronger and better person

got mocked a lot abt his quirk bc it wasn’t “flashy enough” ://

this is already canon but he cried when meeting tetsu for obvious reasons

STILL CANON but best bros w/ tetsu

he talks to tetsu abt their quirks a lot

tetsu is a Comfort Buddy

initially tetsu doesn’t rlly understand why kiri is upset about the lack of originality of his quirk, but once he does understand he’s very comforting

of the two, people say tetsu’s quirk is more unique because he’s transforming his body from flesh into steel, whereas kiri’s is flesh into harder flesh

(this is p much why tetsu initially has difficulty understanding)

tetsu reassures kiri a lot tho and in the end they always feel a lot better about their quirks

once or twice tetsu mentions it to kami and bakugou

out of the blue they’ll randomly compliment kiri and his quirk and he’s super happy

they never say anything to kiri about tetsu but kami and baku are really grateful that he told them

forever upset that he won’t meet crimson riot

kaminari

mmmMMMKAY maya has some angsty kami hc’s here in case u havent seen them yet but ITS MY TURN NOW

super pissed off bc of how he always gets called stupid and dumb!

yes he doesn’t have the best grades but can you stick a knife in a toaster without dying? no? didn’t think so

whenever anyone is a dick about his intelligence he gets really pissed and starts shooting tiny sparks out of his body

when he came to UA he did that a lot less tho

but he does it most often around jirou

(at UA its usually her being a dick)

once she pushed him a lot and he nearly did fry her

kiri had to calm him down and hold him back

when he was little and figuring out his quirk he accidentally fried his favourite book and he cried for ages

got yelled at by teachers as a kid by teachers for accidentally short circuiting the building

bc of this he doesn’t like loud shouting a lot

he Will Flinch

especially when he goes to UA and when all might teaches

nothing wrong w/ all might ofc but his voice is really loud i’d flinch too

like he knows all might’s not going to hurt him but fuck it sounds like he is

after a while all might is the only loud adult voice he can deal with

he doesn’t really want the teachers to know bc its sorta a sensitive topic

when/if kiri and bakugou find out they won’t force him to tell anyone, they’ll just help him cope with it and comfort him

scars on his limbs from not knowing how to use his quirk as a kiddo

constantly terrified of losing control over his quirk and hurting ppl he cares about

idk i think that’s already canon but it’s important bc !! he actually likes the people at UA and he doesn’t want to hurt him

craves affection and attention all the time

he doesn’t need to be the center of attention at all, he just wants to be noticed and would rather not blend it

it’s not like he would go out of his way to stand out though, he just wants to be liked for who he is

it helps him a lot w/ his self confidence since he’s so used to him and his quirk being shoved aside (a result of the backlash of overusing his quirk) 

will cover up his pain or hurt with a joke because he like other people seeing him helpless

always stressed on how to be a better hero

runs his hands through his hair a lot

on bad days he’ll pull at his hair

bakugou and kirishima can tell whenever he’s feeling more upset because they’ll notice random strands of his hair floating around

a short attention span

it contributes to his “bad grades” and he hates himself for it

literally when he figured out just how short it was he electrocuted a couple trees because he was so pissed off

his parents gave him a really old record player for his dorm at UA but it broke when kiri and bakugou were having an arm wrestle in his room

dunno why they arm wrestling in his room BUT THEY WERE

he’s upset for ages bc that’s what reminded him of home

tries every possible way to fix it

he’s not even upset with kiri or bakugou he’s just. Empty

kiri and even bakugou apologise a lot and they actually feel awful for ages

at some point they buy him another one

ofc they know they can’t replace the other one but what else can you do

can’t go a day without someone insulting his hero costume

cries when he can’t buy a new video game and starts shooting sparks if someone else in 1a has it but he doesn’t

he gets really insecure about his body randomly, especially when he compares himself to bakugou and kirishima

but he wouldn’t mind being a little stronger but boi gets distracted all the time

but its obviously different bc ofc baku and kiri use their whole body to fight, but kami doesn’t need to do that

that being said, he doesn’t really want to be Super Buff either

[heeeatofthemoment]

Delirium x Reader

Next one in my Endless x Reader fics. This one was a lot more fun though I’ll admit the ending isn’t the best XD Either way enjoooy!

“I like the ribbon,” you hear a small voice say from behind you.

“Uh huh…” you answer, only half paying attention, your eyes not breaking contact with the mess that is your work on the wall. Though you suddenly snap back to reality, exclaiming, “Wait-” as you turn to find the voice.

Your caffeinated brain not fully registering what was before you.

“Red is a good colour, only when it stays inside though, outside it gets messy and everywhere,” said the small girl who was sat on the edge of your bed.

“How did you get into my room?” you ask, looking at the door to see if it was open.

“Well I turned left from my place, walked upside down for a bit in this dark place and came to a door. It was pretty easy to get past, as long as you know how, which I do,” she replied with a beaming smile before flopping backwards onto the covers.

“But it was locked, and we’re on the third floor of my campus apartment?”

“I did meet someone on the way here, and they were quite shouty. I think I made think a penguin was attacking him, but I’m not sure. But the door wasn’t hard. I just asked it nicely. Or was that the man?”

This girl spoke so quickly it was giving you a headache. Or at least, a worse one, which was the last thing you needed at the moment. This university project was driving you nuts, because it was due in a week and was taking up all of your time.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with you family or something?”

The girl sat up and tilted her head, gazing at you with her… eyes. Which were mismatched, one being blue and the other green.

“Well… A lot of them scare me, especially Despair, Destiny and very muchly Desire. Dreamy is kinda sweet, but I think he’s judging me behind his frowning. Death is always nice to me, she’s cool, and likes to chat when she’s not busy…” she pauses for little while. “…and I had a brother but I don’t know where he is and I miss him… but he gave me a Barnabas, and I like him a lot!”

You blink. In the process of explaining… whatever it was she had told you, you were pretty sure her hair had changed colour. It was a vibrant green, but now had turned to a dark blue with yellow highlights.

“Right… Well, please, can you go? I’m sorry I just have this thing-”

“Ooo, what is it?” she interrupts you, springing off the bed and climbing up onto your desk, examining your work. As she passes you notice she smells kind of like sour wine.

“Hey! Careful! It’s my latest class project,” you protest, but before you can stop her, she’s looking at everything. All across the wall you have various papers, articles and other pieces of information stuck on via a mix of tac, pins and tape, and connected via strands of red ribbon. You had spent weeks carefully putting it all together and even though it looked like an unorganised mess, it made sense to you.

“I met a solving man once, he called himself Dee Tektiv,”

“Do you mean he was a detective?” you ask.

“Um… yes. But anyway, he had a wall like this, though he used boring blue ribbon, which isn’t inside or messy. His wall had a man who stabbed someone, though he wasn’t sure”.

“That sounds delightful…” You mumble to yourself. In the blink of an eye the girl is suddenly an inch from your face, glaring into your eyes with her own from the on top of the table.

“That isn’t me. Not now me. A while ago me. I don’t like thinking about Delight me. It hurts. Like it did to that stabbed man who was stabbed”.

Before you can apologise, even though you weren’t sure what you or her had said, she had turned back to the wall as quick as she’d looked to you.

“Where are the stabbed people on your wall?” she asked inquisitively.

“I’m not a detective, there aren’t any dead people there,” you pinch your brow in frustration. “If you must know, I’m doing a psychology project assignment on why nightmares are so vivid”.

After hearing this, the girl jumps off the table and starts jumping up and down, clapping cheerfully as she does.

“Oh, oh, oh! I know someone that can help you! I mentioned him earlier, he’s great with all the stuff about dream stuff, I’ll go ask him”.

With that she disappeared, with a sound that resembled a quick trumpet note. Like straight up gone before your eyes. For a second, her shadow still remained on the floor before also blinking out too leaving behind a faint smell of spearmint. You don’t move for a good minute, eyes fixed to the spot she was just stood. You drop to the bed and place your hands over your face.

“I’m losing my mind,” you muffle, letting out a large sigh. “It’s just the stress, why else would you be seeing things?” you assure yourself. Taking a deep breath, you open your eyes. Only to be met with blue and green.

“Hello, sorry if you were sleeping, or were dead, or both. I used to know a woman who had that happen too,” said the girl. She was standing by your bed and was leant over your face. You aren’t even annoyed by her presence.

“What happened to her?” you ask, unsure as to why you are playing along with what was clearly a hallucination at this point.

“Oh… she died. Or fell asleep”. She shook her head violently. “Speaking of, I spoke to my brother about helping your wall. He said he was busy and didn’t know what I was talking about, which I thought was odd, since I’m sure I used words”.

At this point you had given up trying to understand… whoever she was. The way she disappeared like that and the way her hair kept shifting was unsettling. In fact, her clothes had changed slightly too. She was wearing a pink shirt with a leather jacket over it and ripped jeans. But now her leather jacket had changed to a simple red hoody.

“Who are you?” you finally ask, since you realise you don’t know her name.

“People have called me lots of things, I’ve forgotten a few of them though. I think they have too, I’d like to know where they left them… Usually my sister calls me Del and I like it when she does. Barnabas calls me ‘girl’ but I think he’s just jealous I have hands, see?” to prove her point, she waved her hands wildly.

You stare at her for a second or two, then sit up and lean back against your wall, resting your hands on the top of your head.

“Am I going mad? Is that it?” you sigh to yourself. It was the only thing that made sense. As a teleporting shapeshifting teenage girl wasn’t possible, so your brain must be fried from all the overworking you’ve been doing.

In response, Del gazed deep into you, slightly tilting her head as she did. She narrowed her eyes, looking like she was genuinely considering the question.

“Not quite,” she finally responds. “You’re almost in my realm, but not really. Like, the door is unlocked but you’re undecided”. She said this with such certainty you can’t help but believe… whatever she was saying. The way she spoke made it seem this was a topic she understood, which was no less comforting.

“How do you know that? What do you mean by your realm? And are you even real?” you ask, firing out questions like malfunctioning conveyor.

“I just do. I know a lot of things, more than my oldest brother, though he doesn’t like admitting it. My realm is a cool place, though someone not… um… with screws loose, wouldn’t like it, what with all the hurty. And real is difficult. Sometimes things are real and I don’t mean it…” She trails off during this sentence, as if distracted by something.

“Uh, hey? Del?” You wave your hand in front of her face and she snaps back.

“Yes? Oh sorry I was thinking about these butterflies my sis-bro stole and made them set themselves on fire. I didn’t like that,” she huffed and sulked, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

You blink, slightly frustrated you didn’t get an answer for your last question. Relenting against your better judgement, you get up off the bed and look down to her.

“Listen… I have no clue what you want with me, but are you thirsty at all?” you ask her, crouching down so you’re eye level.

“Do you have any mango juice?” she responds quickly.

“No I don’t, sorry”.

“Good, cause that stuff is bad. Can I have a bowl of water please?” she looks at you and smiles in a cutesy way, and you can’t help but oblige, despite the odd request.

“Sure thing Del”. You stand up and walk out of your room and into the common area kitchen. You bump into a friend who gives you a confused look when they see you filling up a cereal bowl under the sink, though they dismiss it and leave you to it. You pour yourself an apple juice and make your way back to the room, where she is still sat.

You walk over and sit in front of her, handing the bowl. She claps in excitement and produces a straw and handful of some powder from her coat (which was now a green denim one, that was two sizes too big for her). She drops the powder into the water and puts the straw in her mouth. Taking a deep breath, she then proceeds to blow into the liquid, producing several bubbles.

Somehow, each one was a different shape, with spheres, cubes and even cylinders now floating around your room. One floats over and pops on your nose, creating an odd smell of a freshly peeled banana. You can’t help but let out a laugh, an honest outburst of enjoyment that you hadn’t felt since before this project.

Del also lets out a giggle, before blowing more bubbles. Another one pops near you and it somehow makes a noise like a miniature foghorn, which almost makes you spit out your drink. After producing another wave, she jumps up and begins to try and catch them, popping bubbles left and right and producing various sounds and smells.

Acting quite unlike yourself, you also stand up and burst a single bubble, delighting in the honest-to-goodness cartoon ‘POP’ sound it makes. You can’t help yourself as you continue. Before long, you and Del are running around your room like children, and you couldn’t care less.

All your worries fade away as you revel in the childish endeavour. At some point, you knock over the drink you left on the floor, though you aren’t fussed by it. After a while the bubbles are all gone and you slump to the floor to catch your breath. Del picks up the bowl and drinks the rest of the liquid, which is followed by a sharp belch as a frog shaped bubble flies out her mouth and pops on the floor.

“Ok, I’ll admit that was fun,” you pant, smiling at the mess all over the room. “Seriously though who are you? And are you real?”

This time, she doesn’t avoid the question, and shuffles over until she is sat right in front of you. She gingerly lifts her hand and reaches out, gently, but kind of firmly, poking you on the nose.

“See? All real!” she says, confirming with a second prod. “As who I am, I told you it depends who you ask, but I’m happy with Del”.

“Ok…” you are still just as confused but you continue, “what are you even doing here?”

“Um...” she says, genuinely confused by the question. “I can’t remember, I’m pretty sure I was looking for something?” she taps her chin and looks around the room, as if looking for something that will jog her memory.

“Looking for something?”

“Oh, I know! My friend Barnabas! Have you seen him?” she says, looking at you expectantly.

“Not that I know of, what does he look like?”

“Small, grey, very talky, four legs?”

You pause for a second, confused at what she’s saying, before you work it out. “Wait, is he your dog?”

“Oh you have seen him then?”

“No, I haven’t, though I can help look if you-” before you can finish you hear a loud bark from outside your window, and all of a sudden, Del disappears with a sound that resembles a champagne cork.

A second later she is back with a dog of the description she gave.

“Is this Barnabas then?” you ask, somehow unfazed by her teleportation.

“Yup that’s me,” says Barnabas. For a small moment you almost lose it, but regain your composure as you realise this isn’t the weirdest thing you’ve seen all day.

“We were playing catch in her realm when someone threw it too far and it landed here!” the dog turned and looked judgingly at Del, or at least as much as he could as a dog. “Then you get distracted and come here?”

“I’m sorry Barney, but the door was closed and I couldn’t turn it down!”

“That’s not how that works Delirium”.

“Aaaand there were nice ribbons!” as she says this she points at your project wall.

“Yes, yes, very nice, can we go home now?”

“Oh fine! I just need to get my penguin”.

“Your what now?”

And with that both of them blink out, leaving no trace behind. You sit in still for several minutes, thinking on what to make of the whole experience.

Soon though, you stand up and walk over to your bed, where you see a small plastic tube. You pick it up and with a smile you read the label “Bubbles”.

Thanks for reading this far! :D

[commiemoth]

bbbb all of the adorable asks are so cute >////

Bbbbb im happy i answer!! >\

2- my favorite color use to be purple definitively but now i cant choose unless its color combinations, my current favorites are: cyan + red, bronze + patina-green, silver + deep blue, black + cyan or neon blue, black + gold, white + goldIf i Really Really had to choose only one tho i think it would depend on my mood? Blue for sad, deep blue for calm, gold for energetic/confident, cyan for floaty, silver for dissociating?

3- no but!!!! I really want to! As soon as im out of my parents house im gonna do eyeshadow all the time as soon as i learn how! (Hopefully ollie can teach me because their eyeshadow looks are fucking #Iconic)

4- Yes yes yes!!!! In love right now and its better than ever before!!

5- ive been hesitant about this because last time i thought this it ended b a d l y but!! This time feels really different! I feel the connection and honestly i think yes!!

6- i think when im by myself im incredibly pessimistic and realist and accepting of it but with most other people im very optimistic for them i think? Even if im not for myself :/

7- ive had my first kiss already unfortunately :/but! First kiss with someone who actually cares and loves and respects u is completely different!! So my ideal first kiss would probably be leik after a moment of really spontaneous and overwhelming happiness between us? I think it would feel natural and comftorable and nice even if we’d both be awkward blushy babies about it >\\

24- ive gotten my nails painted before it was really nice! Im going to start doing it regularly once im out of the house and i hope ill eventually be gud enough to paint little designs on them!

25- idk wat this is asking leik, confessed wat? Id think yes and leik if confessed just as in telling something they wouldnt tell anyone else then yes, im honored that someone places that much trust in me when they do and i try to protect the secret/confession with my life

26- gggggg i used to lie so much all the time leik little lies to make myself more interesting/cooler but i dont do that anymore thank gosh, i only lie now to protect someone’s safety/identity , protect my own safety, or when talking to adults because i dont trust them, when its morally justifiable, or when ive been asked too by a confidant

27- ollie!!! (Everything about them) and also songs that are really energetic and (happily) nostalgic for me, and also cute animals! Or hanging out and havin a gud laugh with friends, im more likely to smile in stress free environments!

28- ggggg gosh i cry all the time in books and movies, i cried at finding dory, and at guardians of the galaxy vol 2, and at swiss army man, and at steven universe a lot, and at attack on titan sometimes when i used to watch it (not anymore) anything i read that has a major character death makes me cry, i cried at the Dragons overwatch short for hanzo and genji, im big baby :/

29- i think i had a crush on a girl in elementary school when i was still straight and she was the most popular pretty girl in school, boring het stuff :/

30- marriage sounds really nice! Not that important tho it just seems leik part of the whole big thing of the different levels of “making it official” but it would be nice and fun!!! Kids are scary! Too much responsibilty and i, kinda dont leik them :/

31- im very superstitious sometimes, a couple years ago i saw the picture of the russian sleep experiment creepy pasta and its haunted me and my halfasleep mind until a few months ago last year thats not really superstitious i guess but im always very irrational about things leik that, leik if a noise happens at night then my brain goes: “its the [a creepy picture i saw that day] monster here to get you” and it really sucks sometimes but ive been a little bette with it lately! (Ps, Do Not look up the russian sleep experiment, it might not be the same for you but it was terrifying for me and had a lasting effect)

32- my 3am thoughts are ollie!! Its much better thinking about cuddling them instead of thinking about if everyone i know hates me secretly or wat went wrong on that particular day (although ive been doing better on that too)

33- i leik candy a lot!! My favorites are snickers, swedish fish, cinnamon gumdrops, chocolate (either chili or caramel), jolly ranchers, skittles, and sometimes airheads, i used to l o v e poprocks but i dont see then around anymore :l

34- halloween!!! Its my favorite time because its not too cold to have to stay inside and still cold enough for cool fashion options and also halloween itself!! Its fun! :D

35- my favorite season is winter!! It lets me stay inside and watch the pretty snow while i drink hot cocoa and play video games :3 fall is a close second!! Most of fall is cool enough to still be outside and the cold weather suits me even if its sometimes gives me colds!

36- i feel leik a dog would help me be happier because they generally more energetic? But a cat suits my personality much better and i feel leik we might get along a little easier , both are gud and no preference tho!!!

37- im really quiet i think!! I try not to talk at all unless its with people i already know, but the more comftorable i am with someone the louder i am with them!!

38- my favorite time period is medeival or far-future! Medieval only when in fantasy with dragons and magic and stuff because Real medieval times kinda sucked but: the knights! The samurai! And far future because space travel and sightseeing on distant planets!!

39- bowties? There still kind of around tho i guess, cloaks and swords or also full plate armor (bring! Them! Back!)

40- hhhhh i never remember my dreams but the worst nightmares are where i wake up and cant breathe leik sleep paralysis im pretty sure (that combined with russian sleep experiment is h e l l but thankfully that doesnt really happen anymore) and the best dreams ive had are when ollie is in them!!

41- i used to be really afraid the dark but im still sometimes just as afraid so i guess that doesnt count? I used to have dreams where the little one eyed dudes id make out of my erasers would turn evil and stand on my chest and id wake up with sleep paralisys so? Thats something i guess :/

42-43 are skipped in the list?

44- i try my best!! Ollie knows :> im [Incapable] of flirting with anyone if they dont also flirt with me and i know that they leik me too tho so i havent been flirting much the past couple years till now :l

45- my style currently is kinda blandish i think? Dark or cool colors with a graphic teeshirt (sometimes of things that i dont even leik anymore) and black or blue skinny jeans (sometimes a bleached white pair, theyre my favorite) and some matching color of converse, sometimes i wear flannels or button ups and sometimes bowties too! But not as often

Ideal style: crop top, flannel, sunglasses, short short jean shorts, cool socks that go past my knees, matching converse!

46- hell yeah i blush!!!!!!!!! Sometimes i blush when people are really nice to me but most times its from romantic stuff because i get flustered and blushy So Easily!!

47- every once in a while my depression comes back and most of the time it doesnt stay for lomg but while its here i feel everything at once while wanting to feel nothing and its so overwhelming or i feel nothing at all while wanting to feel at least one thing and it makes my heart hurt, most of the time tho i lean more on the side of feeling everything! Feelings are gud and i leik them!!!

48- im definently a crier! Cried basically for 3 years straight, but ive only cried happy crying a couple times, definitely a few tho, i smile a lot! I think! I try to, i think smiles are really nice and there needs to be more of them in the world, ive been smiling a lot more the past couple months for sure :3Thanks for askin and!! @got to answer the same asks! Not all if u dont want to but just the ones u want :>

[aion-rsa]

The Teleprompter Interview: Laura Carmichael ‘Doctor Who Used to Give Me Nightmares’

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Australian thriller The Secrets She Keeps, currently airing on BBC One and iPlayer, takes the audience to a very dark place says Laura Carmichael. Her character Agatha, a supermarket worker who befriends a pregnant blogger, ‘does such unbelievable things, the most irresponsible things’ driven ‘by the impulse of motherhood’.

Building a crime thriller around that impulse makes the series relatable, says Carmichael. At its heart, the show is about ‘wanting to be a mum and wanting to be the perfect mum.’ As her character’s backstory unfolds, ‘you understand her’ says Carmichael, though ‘she absolutely puts people through hell.’ Whether Agatha could ever be forgiven, she says, is a question for the audience to mull.

There’s no talk of a second series as yet for The Secret She Keeps. ‘It was taken from the book, which stands alone,’ Carmichael explains, ‘but it would be great to revisit and see what would happen.’

As the finale arrives in the US on streaming service Sundance Now, the Downton Abbey and The Spanish Princess actor talks Den of Geek through her TV obsessions and memories.

Which TV show inspired you to start your acting career?

I loved all of the Sunday afternoon BBC shows. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and all of the Narnia series, that we had on VHS. I loved Five Children and It and those classic dramas, mixed with MGM musicals. Those big productions always seemed like a dream. From a kid, I was very much spending Sunday afternoons in front of the TV.

What was your first TV love?

I remember loving Pride and Prejudice and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, they were the mad two worlds when I think about what I loved as a kid, watching lots of TV with my sisters.

Was there a TV character you wanted to be when you were little?

Deeply inappropriately as a child I remember being obsessed with Ab Fab. Before I knew anything about what they were talking about or what any of the jokes meant, I wanted to be Patsy and Eddie.

Have you ever done fancy dress as a TV character?

Yes, Ab Fab. We were around 10 or 11. I was Eddie, my younger sister was Patsy. I had a Kangol beret and had curled my hair and wore bright red lipstick with a 70s-style shirt with a crop top over it and a jazzy waistcoat. The outfit was so good, it was really perfect.

And there is photographic evidence which I have shown to Joanna Lumley when she came to do a charity event on Downton and we were able to recreate the pose.

What’s your current TV obsession?

I’m going to struggle to not answer every single question with I May Destroy You because of how brilliant that is. What Michaela Coel’s been able to do is so personal and yet it feels as though the world is just saying ‘yes!’ We are so tuned in to what she is saying and how she is saying it.

When did you last cry watching television?

This morning, watching the finale of I May Destroy You.

And when did you last laugh out loud watching television?

During lockdown, we’ve been watching lots of Curb Your Enthusiasm. We’ve gone the whole way through and back again. It’s just getting better and better as Larry David allows himself to go further and further into Larryisms, and it always makes me l-o-l. ‘Lol’ is a joke in the series, by the way! It really annoys Larry that this woman says l-o-l rather than laughing.

Which TV show has given you nightmares?

I’ve been watching The Sopranos again and I have been having gangster dreams. Because it’s the story of the family, it doesn’t always feel like it’s about violence but then it’ll catch you unawares and you’ll see someone be tipped into a river and I’ve definitely had one of those nightmares.

From childhood, there’s so many things. Doctor Who used to give me nightmares, anything with weird sound effects. Also the film The Water Babies, it’s really creepy. It’s about a kid who drowns and then becomes a water baby and it’s terrifying.

What was the last TV show you recommended to someone?

I really loved Shrill with the brilliant actress Aidy Bryant who’s in lots of Saturday Night Live, and also Lolly Adefope, who I think is hysterical. You can watch it on BBC iPlayer. It’s another great female-led comedy show, very relatable and very funny. Also I’m always telling people to watch Stath Lets Flats, which I think is just genius. This Country, amazing. When you’re doing some heavy drama in the day I really like switching off and just laughing my head off.

Older comedies, French and Saunders again, I have fangirled over them and am a huge fan of their work. Smack the Pony when I was growing up was such a huge thing for me. They were so cool and sexy. When you think of Britpop and cool 90s, I do think of those girls. Sally Phillips is so funny. I have done a comedy film with her and she was very gracious about the fact that I was supposed to throw something at her head and not hit her but I hit her square in the head with a baby monitor and she was so lovely about it! I always cringe when I remember that.

Which TV show have you never seen that everybody keeps nagging you to watch?

I have not seen Breaking Bad, which is terrible. This is a confession.

Straight to prison!

It’s really bad, I know. I find dramas really consuming, and that feels like going into something quite intense and stressful. That’s one I’m working up to.

Which TV theme songs do you know the words to?

I guess that would be The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Does it come out at parties?

Only after several beers.

Is there a TV show from your back catalogue that you think deserves a wider audience?

I really did love Man in an Orange Shirt which was out a few years ago on the BBC. I’m in it a bit, but it’s about these two guys that fall in love during the Second World War and have this amazing love story. You see the characters and their families later and see how it’s affected them. It’s a really beautiful piece of writing and really amazing performances from James McArdle and Oliver Jackson-Cohen.

Given the power, which TV show would you commission?

A tricky one. I think it might have to be something to do with dogs. I have a hilarious Jack Russell and since getting him, I find myself watching more dog programmes because I get a kick out of him watching it as well, so maybe just a Dogs Behaving Badly compilation.

What was the most fun you’ve had making television?

Oh man. Probably the finale of Downton. It was a real riot because it was the end of a really happy job. The day that we shot [Michelle Dockery] Mary’s wedding to Matthew Goode, it was really sunny and there wasn’t lots of dialogue or a lot of heavy lifting but everyone was in. I’ve got lots of funny photos on my phone of Michelle and Matthew just messing around. We were just all being quite silly and giddy, sitting in the gardens laughing our heads off. That’s a very happy memory.

The Secrets She Keeps is available to stream on Sundance Now and BBC iPlayer

The post The Teleprompter Interview: Laura Carmichael ‘Doctor Who Used to Give Me Nightmares’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

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