#when i first started using tumblr back in (redacted) i also had no idea what the queue tags meant lol

[plumbus-central]

How did you develop your art style? Like how did you find your own voice in your art?

Oh what an interesting question, I never expected to asked abt my art!

Honestly i took a while to think abt this question, and I think a lot i've done about developing my own art style came from seeing things i liked in other people's art and copying it lol.

For instance when i was in the [REDACTED] fandom when i was a young teen there was a very popular artist who used gradients in their work to add depth and color and i liked it a lot, so i started doing it in my work too.

A few years ago i started following an artist and really liked their work bc they had such a strong grasp of color, shape, gesture, and line. And they used these strong, thick lines to fill out the form of their work, but i noticed that the lines often didn't touch and that it didn't matter bc you could still understand and make out the form of whatever they drew just fine. So i decided to stop worrying abt MY lines touching either lol. which is how i ended up with those sort of ghost constructions of figures and shapes i do sometimes.

I can vividly remember seeing a comic on tumblr ONCE where i saw a character have just a line for a mouth that went off their face and i just stared at that panel for a while trying to figure out why i liked it so much lol until i realized it was their expression that i liked. So i kept that in my head, and a few years later i realized that i had started using it in my art too.

Another aspect that has influenced my art is exploring other media and being challenged by my own interests. Like when i was a teen i was very into steven universe and my own ocs. which was fine but didn't challenge me too much artistically. Then in college i got into bojack horseman, and specifically my favorite character was herb kazzaz, a short, fat man with a beard. Completely out of my comfort zone to draw, but i wanted to draw him so bad! so i figured it out!

(some of u might actually be familiar w/ my boajck horseman sideblog @hambone-fakenameington , it hasnt been updated in a while cause im on that rick and morty shit right now lol). But now i have to skills to draw these things by way of my interests in the character.

My fixation with rick and morty was actually so strong at first that i was drawing like crazy, which eventually taught me to focus on and hone my skills with gesture, thumbnailing, and composition bc i wanted to draw so many ideas at once that i couldn't spend too long on each one. (and it also gave me lots of practice). Thanks to my interest in R&M ive also developed skills in drawing very skinny bodies lol, but also on pushing expressions and gestures to extremes that i never used to!

Hell even just trying to figure out how to take features and details from characters in something and translate them into YOUR style can be a big learning and growing experience. (u can see in my old art it took me a while to get rick to look right)

So i guess the overall is that seeking out and consuming media is always important bc you can take a lot of inspiration from something without even realizing it. (honestly if ur feeling stagnant in ur art watching/reading something new can be a good way to jog ur brain). And taking a good look at the art you enjoy and trying to figure out WHY u like it, and what elements are stick out to u. Then seeing if you can bring those elements into ur own art and see if it's successful to u to explore it.

as far as voice goes um.... i guess what's become important to me is that u gotta know when to cut corners lol. like a hand doesn't ALWAYS need to be perfectly formed, like it can be a squiggle and it might even look better for it. sometimes loose and sloppy looks good for what ur doing and sometimes heavily defined and carefully lined work is necessary but i gotta remember that the clean art is built on the back of the sloppy studies. and stray lines, warped perspective, and unaligned facial elements can give a lot of character to a work that might otherwise seem bland and stiff.

thank you so much for the question it was fun to take a look at my work and reflect on how i got to what i have as a style now! R&M has honestly done A TON for my art style and drawing abilities that i didn't realize till now.

Also worth mentioning bc i forget how much of my life i share w/ you guys but i also have BFA in Illustration with a focus in Animation Arts and Sequential Art.

[newhanovere]

Out of curiosity, why do people write the hashtag #quesirareafish?

hi! so that’s actually my personal tag lmfao, other people may use it or some variation of it on their own blog (i’m sure it’s a pun other people have thought of before me), or they may accidentally copy it into their reblog from me bc of tumblr glitching. but basically it’s my queue tag - it denotes any post that i’ve queued so i can keep myself organized. i queue most posts rn tbh, but that may change eventually!

a lot of people come up with puns or specific tags that mean queue, so that we all don’t share the same one and have a blog specific one. but some people will just use the word “queue” and that denotes their blog’s queue! some people don’t use the queue function at all though so that might be why you only see it on my blog or a handful of blogs.

and finally - the quote comes from the game! you may know this already lol but when arthur pulls a fish off the line sometimes he’ll go “you, sir, are a fish” and it cracks me up so i decided to use that for my queue!

i hope that clarifies things/wasn’t too confusing haha

[remythologise]

I don't have twitter and I'm seeing posts but a lot of them involve knowing what I'm looking at...can you pls explain the latest spn/Jensen news, pretty please?

Sure! Explanation of the events of the past week (some of these dates might be relative to my timezone, apologies for any errors):

JUNE 24: News breaks that Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles’ production company has a prequel in the works focusing on John and Mary Winchester; entire fandom displeased

Fandom ire at the prequel focusing on John and Mary momentarily overshadows the fact that it seems like Jensen Ackles has the rights to Supernatural (!!!) and has ‘five shows in the works’ of which this is only the first

Showrunner is Destiel fan-favourite Robbie Thompson, responsible for such Absolute Banger Episodes as ‘Meta Fiction’ (see more here)

A lot of blowback from absolutely all sides of the fandom - BiBros et al mad that it focuses on Not The Brothers, Destiel fans mad it focuses on Not Resolving Destiel, everyone largely mad it focuses on John Winchester (widely regarded as abusive) and the ‘epic love story’ of John/Mary (canonically forced by cupid magic)

Various cast members including Misha Collins, Jim Beaver, Jake Abel, Ruth Connell and Julie McNiven reply to the article with comments indicating they’d like to be involved

Eric Kripke tweets that Jensen and Danneel are ‘the perfect people’ to take control of this story and Jared is ‘too busy Texas Rangering’ to be involved

JUNE 25: Jared Padalecki tweets about being left out of the loop on the prequel; absolute chaos ensues

See this ask reply for a list of tweets, events and reactions

I’ll also add that this gets large enough to get coverage on Vulture, Variety and other news sources

Robbie Thompson retweets his tweet from 2019 saying ‘I ❤️ you #SPNFamily’ in response to… everything

JUNE 26: A scramble for Jensen, Jared and Eric Kripke to do PR damage control on the Jared issue. Meanwhile, Misha Collins does his best impression of this scene from the Lion King to promote GISH

Eric later deletes all tweets about the issue, which is VERY funny. Man can’t handle the heat!

Very funny contrast between Jared’s ‘have a talk, as we often do’ and Jensen’s ‘miss these talks'

Jensen later changes his twitter header and bio from Supernatural/Dean Winchester to The Boys/Soldier Boys which IS somewhat unfortunate and perhaps deliberate break-up related timing

Jared tweets that he ‘doesn’t want anyone to receive hate or threats’ which is like… Jared YOU started this, YOU tweeted this to your millions of followers

JUNE 26: Jensen Ackles does further damage control by tweeting ‘Canon? we got you’ and linking to this article about what the show might hold, which points out the Problems of John Winchester

See article for further details but this implies Jensen actually does care a lot about doing right by the fans and the narrative canon

This, combined with the fact Robbie Thompson is running it, convinces most Destiel-side fans that the show Might Be Better Than Expected and one CW-approved stepping stone to greater things

BiBros are furious because article is written by ‘known Heller’ Natalie Fisher, who is friends with writers such as Meredith Glynn and Robert Berens

Meanwhile, Steve Yockey references the ‘Steve Yockey is dead?!?’ tumblr meme on twitter in a reply to Ruth Connell

JUNE 27: Gen Padalecki posts an instagram story which may or may not be shady commentary on Jensen Ackles

However, yesterday Danneel Ackles also promotes the Padalecki MLM product on HER instagram - can I just say I simply love the use of a) product promotion and b) instagram stories as tools of warfare and diplomacy

JUNE 28: Various scripts drop thanks to the team at tumblr’s spnscripthunt (go support and fund their efforts if you can!)

Notable changed content includes Castiel telling Dean to ‘parent’ Jack in 14.16 and Castiel texting emojis to Claire in 12.16 (possibly an in-script joke about Dean being attracted to a poodle?)

JUNE 29: News breaks that Chaos Machine Productions was started as ‘Free Will Entertainment LLC’

The name was apparently changed in October 2020 - was that as a result of the 15.19-15.20 filming? Or something else?

The idea that Jensen set up a company called ‘Free Will Entertainment’ to continue telling the story of Supernatural is honestly BONKERS. A lot to unpack here to do with the textual and metatextual narrative of Supernatural that I don’t have time to get into, since there’s about twenty wild implications that could be speculated from that name alone

Stock price on ‘Jackles’ Sexy Silence’, conspiracy that Jensen didn’t like the ending of Supernatural and was quietly plotting to take the narrative under his own control, to bring Dean back to life and possibly to canonise Destiel, reaches historic high

The fact does not go unnoticed that, through coincidence or not, Jensen and Danneel registered the company on a Thursday very close to September 18, the Lazarus Rising/Castiel Anniversary Date when Dean was saved from Hell

JUNE 30: Misha Collins makes a social media post with Castiel art for the last day of Pride Month

Twitter post liked by Robbie Thompson

On his instagram, Misha also puts music on the story of ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love With You’ a song made famous by Elvis and then subsequently Destiel AU Fanfic Twist and Shout

“The song was initially written from the perspective of a woman as “Can’t Help Falling in Love with Him”, which explains the first and third line ending on “in” and “sin” rather than words rhyming with “you” - Wikipedia knowledge obtained via @jurisffiction

Falling… sin… But we don’t have time to unpack all of that-

JUNE 30: 8.17 Goodbye Stranger script excerpt surfaces with Dean’s ‘I love you’ to Castiel

Fandom has long known that the ‘I need you’ was formerly an ‘I love you’ because Jensen believed Dean saying it in that moment to Castiel was out of character - but we did not have the script to prove specific changes

Additional ‘I forgive you’ not included in the episode - the original scene reads as very romantic, since this was Dean absolving Castiel for past crimes and telling him he loves him in the moments before death, as well as ‘I love you’ of course being what ‘broke the connection’ of Naomi’s control

Notably this episode written by Robbie Thompson, the very man Jensen and Danneel chose to helm their next project

JUNE 30: Misha Collins misses his blanky text

To cap all this off, Misha Collins texts fans a selfie of himself at ‘the spare room at Jensen’s apt in Vancouver’, saying he ‘misses his blanky’, implying he has spent many nights there

It has been an open secret that Misha basically shared Jensen’s apartment in Vancouver since around 2018 due to [redacted dubiously obtained information] but it’s never been publicly stated (to be clear, this does not imply anything other than friendship, as actors in Vancouver often share accommodation and Misha had previously couch-surfed at Jared and Jensen’s places)

Cockles shippers go wild. Does the ‘blanky’ refer to Jensen? Was there a reason to send this on the last day of pride month? Will this man ever shut up?

Hope that helps! May this wild carousel of News About A Show That Ended Eight Months Ago never end!

[forabeatofadrum]

Thank you @martsonmars and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tag, reminding me it’s Sunday. I am here to make up for last Wednesday, when I had nothing to show. I have three things for you today!

First, six sentences from Time After Time/“damn Baz, you live like this?”. It was pretty hard to pick them, since I don’t want to spoil where the story is heading to, but I think these are vague enough:

I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow, silently asking what is going on.

“Simon?”

“I love you,” he blurts out. I can’t help it. I start to smile, even though I notice that he doesn’t smile along. In fact, he looks desperate, as if he needs to me to know that he loves me.

The full chapter will go up tomorrow, because I finished it in time! In fact, I have finished writing the fic! I can’t believe it either, because I’ve been stuck on this fic for over a damn year, but I have @facewithoutheart (and Doctor Who season 9 oop) to thank for shoving me in the right direction. I think I also know what to do with the two endings: both. I added an eleventh chapter called [REDACTED] so that I could still sort of post ending no. 2 as a separate thing from ending no. 1! Excited!

And look who’s back, back again? Klaine! I really want to participate in the Klaine Word Scramble, and a random idea came to me. I haven’t written anything else but these six sentences, so I definitely will not post the story according to the schedule, but that is okay:

Blaine is proud of his position within the community. Everyone loves his homemade scented candles. His stand is a staple in the local farmers market. 

But now a new neighbour has opened his own business. Kurt Hummel sells his handmade soaps and all of Blaine’s clients are flocking his stand. Jealousy does not look good on Blaine, but he can’t help it.

Now I just need to find a damn title.

And lastly, my dude MCD (Matt Christopher Davis) has thoughts on Simon:

I take a look at the Chosen One. He has only been part of the World of Mages for a few months, but he’s already gotten himself in a lot of trouble because of this whole Insidious Humdrum shit. He’s constantly missing classes and Miss Possibelf says he’s on missions for the Mage and the Coven.

But honestly, I don’t care. I mean, I care about the Humdrum, because that thing eats magic, but our Chosen One can be the hero who saves the day. The rest of us just lives here, you know?

Tagging @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @bookish-bogwitch @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @wellbelesbian @artsyunderstudy @bazzybelle @dragoneggo @captain-aralias @ivelovedhimthroughworse @cutestkilla @raenestee @takitalks @urban-sith (Tumblr tried to make me tag undertale for some reason) @facewithoutheart @tea-brigade @thnxforknowingme​ @confused-bi-queer​ @tectonicduck​ (I don’t know if you write, but you always like my damn Baz stuff, so here ya go!)​

[bubbyleh]

Do I Know You? - Chapter 7

read this chapter on ao3! check out the rest of this series on tumblr!

Chapter 7: Redacted Version An idea of the truth.

- ○ -

Getting to know your long-lost sibling around thirty-nine years after they disappeared is certainly something. It’s difficult sometimes for Kleiner to reconcile the adult sitting across from him with the baby he knew so long ago, but he’s trying! And though Bubby isn’t really one to offer up much in the way of personal anecdotes, even hearing the odd story from five years ago from Coomer is nice.

At first, Kleiner told himself he wouldn’t press. He had no starry-eyed, idealized notion of Black Mesa in his head. The facility was fucked up beyond measure, and the thought of Bubby growing up surrounded by that? It was one he wanted to shove into a trash can in his mind.

But Bubby didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and Kleiner wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.

Slowly, though, that changed. The incidents were small initially, but Bubby began to open up slightly. Like how during one of their regular coffee meetings, Kleiner asked a bit about the conversation he’d overheard in Chemical Engineering.

“Oh, that,” Bubby grimaces. “That was Dr. Daniels. He’s been in charge of my project for as long as I can remember. He died not long after that night .”

“Good,” Kleiner says in response to that last fact, a statement that throws Bubby for a loop. They look unsure, avoiding Kleiner’s gaze for the briefest of moments and slouching forward. Suddenly, though, their eyes widen, and they sit right back up.

“Yeah, you’re right,” they finally say. “It is good.”

Bubby places their mug on the table, brow furrowing as they stare at the coffee, gently swishing. And something about it threatens to tear Kleiner’s heart apart. The wrongness of it all. Bubby shouldn’t have memories like that—of Dr. Daniels. They were supposed to grow up together, in a small house at the end of the street. Instead, they were in Kleiner’s admittedly cramped kitchen, trying to catch up on a lifetime of memories.

It’s unfair.

Kleiner takes a sip of his coffee.

“Bubby,” he manages to ask. “Have you ever thought about leaving Black Mesa?”

And Bubby frowns. “That’s… complicated.” They fiddle with the edge of their mug.

“How so?”

“Well,” Bubby sighs. “It’s not that I want to stay at Black Mesa, it’s more that… I don’t technically have a doctorate, you know. And I’m not qualified to do anything else. If I want a job, it’s gotta be here.”

Oh. Right. Actually, Kleiner hadn’t really thought about that, but it did make sense that Black Mesa wouldn’t be able to just hand Bubby a degree. Hell, it might actually be a bit of a warning sign if they could.

“But, also…” In the most simple of motions, Bubby smiles. “Harold’s here. You’re here, Isaac.” He brings his mug up to his mouth, but pauses to clarify, “You two are doing great work. I wouldn’t ask you to leave it, and I won’t leave either of you.”

Bubby’s clearly trying to keep their tone casual, but their words feel significant to Kleiner. They hold a weight to them; a promise.

- ○ -

The Hanukkah photo was the first step. It took a while, but the longer Bubby saw it and got used to it, the more he realized he was curious. The baby in that photo looks so happy to be with their brother, and it’s hard to imagine that that’s

him

. A little person whose family adored them. And maybe, if they see the rest of Kleiner’s photos, he’ll at least understand a bit about who that person could have been.

Isaac, of course, was thrilled by the prospect of sharing Bubby’s baby pictures. He’d promised to dig up as many as he could and bring them over, since Black Mesa’s singles dorms aren’t really great for receiving guests in. Once Harold had found out about the plan, though, he’d been eager to invite himself to the viewing. Actually, he’d been practically giddy about it.

Maybe they should be worried about that…

…

Oh this was a mistake.

Before they can really consider cancelling, though, there’s a knock at the door. And when Bubby opens the door to the sight of Kleiner holding a small cardboard box, it’s only then that he realizes that tonight is going to be extremely embarrassing.

- ○ -

“Oh, look at this one! He has to be less than an hour old, here!”

“My goodness, he’s adorable!”

Bubby has to resist every urge not to hide his red face behind his hands, because some poor part of his brain still really wants to see what he looked like as a baby. Unfortunately, Coomer does as well, and if they have to hear one more time about how they were the cutest thing to ever grace the planet, then they’re going to explode.

What’s even worse, though, is that Coomer brought out his own collection.

“You should see this one.” He slides a picture over to Kleiner. “They thought they were so cool!”

Bubby just barely catches a glance of a photo of himself when he was, what? Thirty-five? Thirty-six? Couldn’t have been too long after he started dating Coomer, actually.

“Wait a fucking second.” Bubby snatches the photo before Kleiner can get that good of a look. They do look younger, with a scowl on their face pointed somewhere offscreen. “I don’t remember you taking this.”

“Ah, well.” Finally, Coomer has the audacity to look at least a bit sheepish. “I made sure you weren’t looking.”

Bubby squints back down at the picture. “Why?”

“I thought you looked nice,” Coomer admits matter-of-factly.

And after a brief reprieve, Bubby’s flushed face returns in full force. This time, though, he draws his knees to his chest and buries his face in them.

“You two are killing me,” Bubby mumbles, holding the picture out for Isaac.

Kleiner plucks it from their hands. “You’re fine,” he insists.

“I will die, and it will be your fault.”

There’s a sound of papers shifting, followed by Kleiner muttering, “Hang on a moment…”

Bubby peeks out.

“I think that was it, actually,” Kleiner sighs. Almost instinctively, he reaches over and pats Bubby’s head, earning himself a glare. “You disappeared when you were around thirteen months. That’s not a lot of time…”

Kleiner’s eyes seem fixed on the photo of the newborn in his hand, though. He brushes it with his pointer finger, and in the back of Bubby’s mind, something clicks into place. They stand abruptly, much to their brother’s surprise.

“Fine,” Bubby states. “Give me a second.”

They loop around the couch, and after blindly fumbling under it for a moment, their hand finally finds purchase on what they were looking for. With a flourish, Bubby holds up their file, shaking off the dust that’s accumulated.

“Is that where you’ve been hiding that?” Coomer asks.

“Don’t worry, it’s getting a new hiding spot after tonight,” Bubby reveals. He settles back on the couch, clutching the file tightly. “Now, let me set the ground rules: This is a selective process, which means I reserve the right to withhold any picture I see fit.” He glares at the two of them. “No sneaking.”

Kleiner nods, and Coomer chimes in with “Understood!”

Bubby takes a deep breath before they open their file again. It’s been a while—a long while—since they last did, but everything is just as they left it. In fact, he thinks he might know where the first good picture is as he flips forwards slightly.

“Alright.” They undo the paperclip, slipping the photo to Kleiner. “This is me and Dr. Cynthia, one of the good ones. The notes say I was around fourteen months here.”

Dr. Cynthia had taken an immediate liking to Bubby, and judging by the picture, the feeling was mutual. She held him up to the camera with such a happy look on her face. Bubby’s struck with the thought that it was the first time in over a month that someone had loved him.

And Isaac has tears welling up in his eyes.

“No, shit,” Bubby struggles. “Don’t cry, fuck.” They pull Kleiner into a hug without really thinking.

Kleiner wipes away the few tears that escaped. “I’m fine, Bubby, seriously,” he says, but his voice sounds shaky. “It’s just… I didn’t get to see you grow up.”

Oh.

Crap.

“Okay, we don’t have to look at them anymore-” Bubby tries to put the file down.

“No wait!” Kleiner’s almost frantic as he grabs onto Bubby’s wrist. He takes a breath. “I want to see them.”

“You’re sure?”

Kleiner nods.

“Alright.” Bubby shakes his hand off them. “But we’re taking a break if you need it.”

- ○ -

Seeing the rest of Bubby’s childhood was certainly a mixed bag of emotions. They were such a cute little kid. There was a picture of them after they got their first pair of glasses, with a smile bright enough to light up a room. And then in their teenage years, their facial expressions gradually melted into “teen angst”. It was especially funny when Kleiner held up a picture of Bubby pouting when he was a baby, and they realized he was making the same face in both photographs.

Kleiner loved it, truly, but there was an underlying melancholy to it all. He should have seen this all himself. Bubby was taken away from their family, and for what?

That question sticks in their head. For what? Bubby’s clearly been skipping over large parts of their childhood, ignoring the bad parts and sharing the good. And that makes sense, of course, but…

Well, Kleiner read that first paper. Bubby was taken for augmentation and enhancement.

They did something to him.

“I’ll see you sometime next week,” Bubby promises as they see Kleiner out of their dorm. “Maybe we’ll do another dinner?”

“That would be nice,” Kleiner agrees. He’d stayed later than he meant to, but the trams would run for another hour or so. He has time for goodbyes.

“I’ll talk to you about it at work!” Harold calls from the seating area, where he’s still sorting the picture mess.

Bubby rolls their eyes, but they lean in, pulling Kleiner into another hug. “Thank you.”

Kleiner’s always happy about some genuine emotion from their sibling, but it’s a bit sudden. “Why are you thanking me?”

“I don’t know, really,” Bubby chuckles to himself. “Being my brother, I guess? Accepting me?”

“Like I wouldn’t welcome you back.” Kleiner returns the hug for a brief moment, before pulling back. “I’ll look at my schedule next week.”

Bubby waves his brother off. “Bye, Isaac.”

“Bye Bubby.”

And Isaac Kleiner decides. He is going to get his hands on that file.

[nametags]

But her emails...

I aim to be a woman of integrity. I’ve sat on the content I’m about to share for almost 6 years in part because it originally was a private conversation between me and a friend. A friend who happens to be a lead singer of a band, but a friend none the less. However the way people have been speaking about him and what’s been going on in the world lately, I couldn’t let this stay hidden anymore.

I’m tired of people claiming that because Patrick no longer uses social media (and hasn’t for damn near five years at this point) that somehow he doesn’t “care” or isn’t doing anything right now to help the Black Lives Matter movement. I’m also incredibly tired of people ignoring/belittling the fact that Pete Wentz is a biracial/black man in America. You really do not want the social media person in charge of Patrick’s account tweeting things out. It would be hollow and fake.

Below is both a transcript of the conversation I had with Patrick on 12/06/2014, a follow up message he sent to me 08/25/2015, and the accompanying screenshots. Unfortunately I do not have the tweet(s) that prompted me to contact him in the first place nor can I find screenshots of them to provide that context. An image of me and my younger brother Jacob when we met the band at Boys of Zummer will also be attached to demonstrate one of the people I was concerned about in my original email. 

The only redactions made were my personal email address and the name of a friend I referenced. Patrick deleted his email account at some point between late 2016 and early 2017. It’s only left in these screenshots as proof for those who knew the address before to see these were legitimate messages. I hope the content reveals not only where his heart lies not only then but where it is now. 

Allison White: So I caught the insanity way late, but it's a tricky spot to be in with what's going on. For most of my life, I didn't even identify with half of my race. I was raised with my mom's side of the family and it just didn't click for me. It really hasn't been until teen years and onward that I've opened my eyes to it all. And with that, I began to grow wary of authority in a way. Like I still believe that people go into law enforcement for the right reasons. The few times I have dealt with police officers personally I haven't been concerned, but I have noticed in the past few years that when I spot a police car on the road or an officer just out in public somewhere is if I look "white enough" or do I actually look like an adult who belongs in whatever space I am in. I know Trayvon Martin was murdered by a vigilante and not an actual officer of the law, but that was when I first started to fear for my little brothers. I knew both of them were the sort of young men that could get targeted and most likely justice would not be found for them. And then there comes this summer. With both the Mike Brown and Eric Garner cases coming back with no indictment, it makes it feel as if it's just open season for black people to be hunted by cops. Which is hurtful for the cops who are actually in it to protect and serve, and every citizen who now has to wonder if they are next. I hope that your cousin is doing alright. I hope that people aren't making his job harder right now. Just I know for me right now with all that's going on I am definitely on the side of the protesters.

Patrick Stump: Brief for now; I'm sorry in all that you didn't notice that I'm squarely on the side of the protestors too. That's a failure of my wording

PS: The problem is that I so poorly expressed myself, people thought I was balancing the empathy to be spread across the black community and cops. That's a mistake on my part. I'm angry.

I'm angry that Mike Brown's case didn't yield enough evidence to indict. But that case was a very complicated one...Brown had just (allegedly) committed a violent crime and information was murky. As sure as I was that Wilson straight up murdered the Brown, I understood the limitations of the american Justice system given how little evidence there was. That's the unfortunate reality of justice is that it needs to be just. It needs to be 100%. We can't go in with "I know in my heart." And so that case pissed me off, but I understood it. 

With Eric Garner however, this just feels so flagrant. By no accounts was he violent, wasn't he doing anything that could even be misconstrued as life-threatening enough to even imagine defending the usage of deadly force. He was cooperating and they choked him to death on camera. That's fucked up. I'm pissed. I tried to be polite and sit back and not say anything, but I'm pissed.

However, my reason for discussing the side of the police as well is that human beings are complicated. When we boil people down to simplistic stereotypes, when we create a narrative of "Us VS them," we lose sight of the humanity of it all. You can't reason with a "Them." You can only reason with a person and it works better when you remember they're people.

I don't believe in enemies. I'm not religious but I love the way Jesus preached "Love thy enemy." That's hugely influential to me. Hugely important. That's the empathy I mean.

The other night I was holding my son and I thought to myself about a black girl I used to date. And how, we could have had a kid together. Maybe a little boy. And how, that boy could (by no action of his own) be killed just for the color of his skin. Like, I've heard and read words like that before, but to actually connect with it (on as small a scale as that) was horrifying. Gutting. For a little moment I thought, all this joy and all this beauty and somewhere, someone's having a black baby boy, loving him and feeling all the same things I feel for my son. But I wondered if in between their tired diaper changes and their burpings, if they were saying a silent prayer "I hope you don't get killed by a cop." If they say it constantly because they know how possible it is. Or even if he lives to be a 100, what black man won't have an unjust run in with the law? Not to make it exclusively a male issue but seriously, how many black men are in prison right now in America? That's a disgusting thing. The young parent of a young black boy probably considers that and that's maybe the most depressing thing I've ever tried to understood. That's a horrifying thing. There really still is a racial divide in this country, and to not be black is to not say those little prayers. We live in a supposedly free country. What about the pursuit of happiness? Who's defending the right of that little black baby boy born somewhere in America to just be an adorable little baby without any pretense? And when that baby grows up, who's defending his right to walk down a residential sidewalk and not expect to get pulled over and frisked? Maybe worse? 

So I'm angry. Just plain angry. But I didn't want to offend anyone so I expressed my anger in the lightest way I could think of. 

I'm not sorry for having an opinion, I'm sorry I explained it so poorly that you didn't know what it was.

AW: All of this is hard, and there is so much anger. You shouldn't ever be sorry for your opinions, and I am pretty sure you yourself have told people only be sorry for how you express your opinions. I wasn't upset with you or what you said, I just felt compelled to share that for me there's a knee jerk reaction to the image/idea of police and why.  This whole situation has been tough and it's been inspiring watching people across this country let their anger show and demonstrate in the streets against it. It makes me wish I was brave enough to take part in it out in the streets and not just online. 

I hope this collective anger and protest leads to real change. That in 2014 we are able to do the things they were aiming for in 1964. I mean recently the full letter the FBI sent to MLK to urge him into suicide was released and it just highlights the divide between how much has and has not changed. There's a lot of value in what religion is supposed to teach. Love thy enemy, love thy neighbor. True love and care for those around you is a great thing and certainly something I'd hope people identified with. 

The past nearly seven years there has been this push for hope and change. Maybe the country is finally reaching a point to make it happen?

PS: I have a funny feeling this is civil rights part 2. I'm proud of the protests. I'm so grateful our generation is angry about something it should be angry about for a change.

AW: An argument can be made that our generation (or just post baby boomer generations in general) have been taught and fed nonsense to keep us compliant, but that veers into a territory that I am not completely sure or comfortable with. Overall I do think that this is heading a direction that the powers that be are not ready for in the slightest.

PS: Where did I go wrong? What do people think I said? They're so mad at me, and none of the people have said anything I didn't mean. I'm not getting angry right-wing stuff, people are just calling me a racist. What did I say that was racist? What do I think that's racist?

AW: There's a strong immediate reaction right now of if you sound slightly in favor of the officers that did wrong that you are racist. The swift reaction and need to dogpile on is kind of crazy. I think people took the initial comment to mean "not all cops!!!!" In the same vein as "not all men!!!" and that's where the rage is coming from. 

AW: Just to be clear, those who matter know you're not racist. You have shown both in your words and actions where your beliefs lie. I don't know how to calm the masses right now because at least for the time being its not going to get through :(

AW: You could try a blog entry on tumblr?

PS: Nah, I think I've done enough damage for one lifetime. I think I'll keep it to myself but I appreciate your talking it through with me. 

AW: No problem. I am always willing to be a sounding board for that stuff if you need it.

PS: I re-read my stuff; "I support our police," is the worst things said. I meant "I support the idea of police and the need for a police force we can trust on a national level," not "I support the police in NYC who are killing people and attacking protestors." That sucks.

AW: If you wanna try to clarify now you can. At least in your Google alert it only had one mention of he mess and it was a tumblr user supporting/defending you. 

PS: There's no fixing it. The Internet is unforgiving I think and the reality is, I said that. I didn't mean it in the way that it so obviously sounds, but I said that. So I deserve everything I get.

AW: It will most likely go easier if you let it ride out instead of trying to go out and fight it. That just gives the "he doth protest too much" air about it. Hopefully the energy behind letting you know you said something like that will dissipate sooner rather than later. And that it won't get big enough for someone to write a story about it. 

PS: Yeah. It'll sound like back-pedaling and glad-handing. Anyway, thanks for talking it through! 

AW: You're very welcome! Thank you for hearing out my side of it this morning.

PS:  I never would've ignored your side.

AW: Which is very much appreciated

AW: I say that because in the past two weeks I have lost a handful of friends because of all of what's going on and them being unable to understand how and why their words hurt me.

PS: Well that's awful and unfair

AW: It was but they were all from the "when I look at you I don't see black, I just see Ally" camp and then would go on to say things about stereotypes and "thugs"

PS: Yeah. Thug. "Oh that's so ghetto." Bullshit.

AW: When someone says "thug" it's always clear they wanna say the n word

PS: Or even if they're the kind of "Well meaning," person who knows enough not to say that word, they mean the same thing

PS: "Not like you. You're good"

PS: White America just needs to know what it doesn't know

PS: Or rather, understand that there are things they (we) will never understand. Not from a first person perspective.

AW: It always makes me want to scream. The erasure of identity so then the people known to them stay safe. It reminds me of something I witnessed the other day. My friend [REDACTED] from junior high is now an established lawyer. Needless to say he has been keeping up very much with the recent events. He made a post about it and one of his friends commented with "I wish you would go back to being my friend [REDACTED] and not my black friend [REDACTED]." Mind you there's no denying [REDACTED] is a black man. He can't pass in the slightest so the comment shocked and saddened me. Thankfully [REDACTED] handled it with poise and grace. 

PS: If you have to say you have a "black friend," then you probably don't. That's fucked. I guess I just genuinely didn't imagine how pervasive this stuff really is. Like, Pete and Joe and I have been talking a lot today. I was under the misapprehension that we grew up in a decently inclusive area. Just come to find out, nobody used those words around me. The whole time they were heckling kids like Joe and Pete. I thought racism was this thing that doesn't happen here. It's scary how much it's come out post Obama's election. Elected officials sending out mass e-mails of pictures of watermelons. I just didn't get it. Ignorance is bliss.

AW: It knows how to hide in plain sight, which is a lot of the problem. People are taught "don't be racist!!!!" Without being told exactly what racism is. People (myself included at times) aren't aware of words/phrases/ideas have nefarious ties until too late. 

PS: I think we get too caught up on words and not enough on what they imply. "Thug," means a prepackaged idea of a black male. It instantly limits his perceived intelligence, his perceived trustworthiness, his perceived value to society, and his perceived prospects in life. That's so fucked. We expect black men to go to prison. Not be doctors and lawyers. When a black man is a doctor or lawyer, we treat him like such a cool novelty. When a black woman asserts herself, she's so "Sassy." "You go girl." 

These little words and phrases feel harmless. They never were

AW: Those are the positives. Usually assertive black women are angry, mean. It's so fucked all around. 

AW: I really owe Pete for helping me be informed on Ferguson. He tweeted the hashtag the night the protests started in August and it helped me dive in. I am sure tumblr would have got me to it eventually, but seeing it from day one was a definite help. 

PS: You know part of my problem? I'm just not brave enough to say what I think. I'm just scared of offending people. Pete's not. He doesn't care. That's powerful

AW: It takes a lot to just put it out there. I am not sure if I had the amount of eyes on me that you do that I would be so "fuck you I will do/say what I want" as I am. Hell I become such a shadow of myself when at work with how quiet and polite I am. I mean I am still pierced and tatted with short hair so visually I say a lot, but then I watch my speech to make us for it. 

(Follow up on 8/25/2015)

Patrick Stump: That is amazing and I'm very flattered. By the way; Been thinking about our conversation from a year ago a lot. The takeaway is this: Saying "All lives matter," and "Not all cops," while literally true are contextually horrendous. Really awful. In retrospect I feel pretty awful about saying both. Specifically because "All lives matter," can carry a lot of implications. Who's lives? I meant by it that Latinos and Muslims are also unreasonably targeted/mistreated/murdered by cops. But is it as systematic or blatant as it is with darker skinned Americans? Not remotely. Furthermore, as a white man, I just need to remember how fucking easy I have it. It's easy for me to preach peace and unflinching patience when I've NEVER been a victim of the War On Drugs or the aftermath of straight up slavery. So there's a lot to think about in terms of what I, a white guy, have to say and do about the situation. But not a lot I have to say about the way it feels to be oppressed to the point of feeling like less than a citizen of this country. I shouldn't have spoken about it because I don't/can't know. Well-meaning white folks get to talk about policy changes and do everything we can to help, otherwise we should get the fuck out of the way. I'm sorry, really REALLY sorry to the world that I ever said either of those things. It's more than "Fuck the police." It's "Fuck this whole system." And as aware as I'd been, I hadn't realized how complacent in it I was. Anyway, disgusted I said what I said. Sorry to the whole world for being part of the problem

[oris-ship]

Tag Game

Thanks @nonsequiturpizza for tagging me this will be the longest I've ever done! My answer to each is the first thing that comes to my mind, so you get the real me.

1- Why did you choose your URL?

Well my name is Omar and some of my close friends call me Omi, which is very cute and reminds me of how one of my favorite characters in videogames is Ori from Ori & the Blind Forest, and one of my fave bands is Florence & the Machine and I mashed Ori's Ship (from their song Ship to Wreck) together!

2- Any side blogs?

Yeah! @almostmaxj I named it after being almost named Max at birth lol. It's my NSFW handle everywhere else too.

3- How long have you been on Tumblr?

I'm sure that I've been here since December 2012!

4- Do you have a queue Tag?

Not really! I like to keep busy and when I'm not I just chat with my friends or play videogames or study or whatever WHILE posting. I've never felt the need since I can multitask it pretty well.

5- Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I honestly don't remember! But I started the blog because I was a hardcore fan of (pls don't make fun of me) Hollywood Undead so I started just reblogging all of that and if you go back to my very first posts I'm sure they are still there (don't actually do that tho)

6- Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I had a matching icon with my best friend for a long time but I wanted to feel more secure in my body image so I just chose to pick a shirtless pic so that would boost my confidence lol

7-Why did you choose your header?

The header is from the video for Love, Love, Love by Of Monsters and Men. Their lyrics have always stuck with me and the concept of the song and lyrics of that one specifically have always stayed with me (it was also their first song on guitar I tried to figure out myself)

8-Whats your post with the most notes?

It's that one horny post about mutuals liking my horny posts and that being an invitation to use them as a fleshlight sajaskjskaj

9- How many mutuals do you have?

So if this has to be from the top of my mind, I've no idea but probably between a 12 and 20?

10- How many followers do you have?

422 (some of which are very obviously pornblogs)

11- How many people do you follow?

395!

12- Have you ever made a shit post?

I'm sure I have lol

13- How often do you use Tumblr a day?

Every day but I never keep track of the time and never for too long at once. So I'll check it like idk 12 times a day for 5 minutes or something each time. I'm never here constantly for more than 10 minutes hahaha

14- Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

I don't remember ever doing so!

15- How do you feel about the 'you need to reblog' posts?

I think it's good to have them around, but people adding the same comment about importance without adding anything of info or actual importance is the same as with any post lol. Useless and annoying at some point. SO the posts are fine people are annoying about them

16- Do you like tag games?

I do! I don't get tagged often because I don't talk to a lot of y'all I'm very reserved and a bit shy so it's cute whenever I have to do one

17- Do you like ask games?

I do! I try to make sure to ask someone I reblogged it from

18- Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr's famous?

A couple I'm sure are quite famous but I've never talked to them too much so I'm gonna save us all that awkwardness

19- Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have a crush on almost everyone I follow wdym

20- Tag!!!

Per anxiety issues, the current question isn't possible to answer. To avoid any and all awkwardness we (me, myself and I) have decided to postpone this answer until [REDACTED].

[llycaons]

tagged by @zhuhongs! thanks sage, sorry this took so long!!

I had already answered this one and was planning to just copy it over but I deleted it on accident! so here we are

1. Why did you choose your url?

I wanted something that referenced the natural world or anatomy or evolution in some way and I landed on the one that I thought had the prettiest latin name. I was almost bisynapsids which would have been cool too. I played around with edgy names of bones and stuff before settling on the name for one of my favorite wild animals

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

ok I never understood how “sideblogs” worked so I just made an entirely new tumblr when I wanted to focus myself on ba/ccano. I had a really fun time for a few years and the community was wonderful but I ran out of juice last year and haven’t been back. if anyone’s interested it’s @eyes-like-a-gentle-knight (wordy, I know). there was so much good novel content I loved it. still waiting on those last two books narita!

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm almost nine years? but this blog is a freshy and clean 6 months old

4. Do you have a queue tag?

never saw the point? I don’t use a queue and when I do I like to be mysterious

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

obsession with near from death note and also I was into other anime like ouran and  [redacted] and [redacted] but death note had me in it’s grip age 15 so when I found this site which had lots of pictures of near from death note I was like :o

I had no idea what I was doing! I just reposted a bunch of screenshots with captions like ouran posts 2/3 or something. no I had to learn the Culture of this site purely by osmosis

6. Why did you choose your icon?

princess mononoke is one of my favorite movies and the image of san in that scene was always so powerful to me. I didn’t mean for a dog theme I swear I’m not even a dog person

7. Why did you choose your header?

I wrote a big post about this when I chose it because I like to talk about every one of my decisions but basically:

it’s got nature in it

looks green for summer

cql but appealing to someone who hasn’t seen it

not an critical moment so I won’t get sick of seeing it

lwj is there which I like but he is barely visible so he’s like secret lwj. but I like that he’s there

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

in my foolish youth I reposted a pic from facebook about tesla that got 100,000+ notes (I think) and got my my first ever rude anon!!!! they just told me not to repost without a source and called me an asshole which as a sensitive 15 year old was very difficult to handle/s. but on here it’s my cql rewatch lb about the atmosphere of ep1. I had a good number of notes on my previous blog for some cql txps but I don’t like to see the notes so I’m glad I’m cut away from them.

however the mdzs/cql fandom has been the only other place I’ve gotten rude anons so. with fame comes tragedy ig/s. they called me a dummy :(

9. How many mutuals do you have?

like? 20? I don’t keep track.

(and sage you ARE everyone’s bestie I feel like everyone I know loves sage zhuhongs)

10. How many followers do you have?

uhhh 78. nice and neat. last blog was like 1780 or something but a lot of them were inactive

11. How many people do you follow?

umm 44? it’s really hard for me to follow people I legitimately feel sick when I do it more than one a week or something. the dash NEEDS to look a certain way and I NEED to get to where I was last time and so I am very very picky about who I follow. also when I break mutuals I feel horrible and guilty so I try not to have too many

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

idk what this means! unlikely!

13. How often do you use tumblr each day

yeah I also work and I can’t have my phone in the lab so for 17 hrs a day I’m asleep or away which is very good but most of the rest of the time I’m on here...which is fine tbh I like it and I know I have nothing better to do rn. school will start again and I won’t be able to be on here as much :(

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I feel like usually nobody “wins” these fights. I am bad at articulating my point and I hate confrontation so I usually just block but when I get an anon trying to argue with me I’ll sometimes respond and I feel like I win those? but like, it’s anon. I’m just responding. like someone sending me flack for tagging my hate for bad ship and I gave this long-winded and lbr kind of annoyingly self-righteous response that at the time I felt very pleased with. but it didn’t work bc I kept getting anons trying to convince me or discuss with me why they shipped it and im like idk!!! go away!!!

okay early in the year I got an ask like “how do you feel about wwx being lame in cql” and I got kind of defensive bc I thought they were one of those diehard novel fan but they came back and were like “oh sorry I’m into the donghua and you have a point and this isn’t productive to discuss” so I kind of feel like I won? I mean, it wasn’t really an argument

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

If it’s something important then yeah obviously but if it's like “or something bad will happen!!!” no ofc not those are annoying as hell and probably awful if you’re paranoid

16. Do you like tag games?

YESSS

17. Do you like ask games?

YES PLEASE SEND ME ASKS

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

probably mx. gun? some of the Polycule, uhh, you, sage. and maybe my very most recent follower hello to you! I feel weird using anyone’s personal name if we haven’t spoken so if you’re seeing this just know I was also super into good o/mens a few years and I really liked seeing your posts and art so it’s cool to see you around again in cdrama circles

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t see having a crush on anyone I’ve never really spoken to irl but I do know I have a very many pretty and/or  handsome mutuals :)

20. Tags?

god I am so stressed out to choose. it’s open to everyone!

[rosecorcoranwrites]

September Reading Roundup

It's time for this month's reading roundup, but first, a little announcement that no one but me will care about: I'm staying off the internet until the election. Well, mostly. I'll still post to Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram when the mood strikes me or when I have a writing update. I'll still post Rant Rave Reviews on here and Youtube (the theme this month is spooky stories, of course). But I won't be interacting much (ie, I won't be spending hours reading through Twitter and Tumblr and watching random Youtube videos I've already seen). If you @ me or retweet or reblog a post, I'll probably respond in a day or two, but other than that, I'm becoming a recluse.

The reason for this is twofold. First, I'm offering it up. For those of you who aren't Catholic, "offering it up" is sort of like giving up something for Lent. You discipline yourself by enduring some deprivation (either natural, like pain, or of your own choosing, like not watching hours of Youtube). At the same time, you offer up your (albeit, in this case, slight) suffering as a sacrifice for some good. I'm offering it up for America. Not the election, America. Because, not to get political or anything, but no matter who wins the garbage fire that is the 2020 election, America is doomed unless our culture changes. As I said to a friend recently, if this was the 90s, we could weather whatever storm Trump or Biden brings, but people hate each other so much right now that our country is pretty much over. Unless...

I don't know what I'm praying for, but I'm praying, praying that come what may, God in his Providence will drag something good out of all of it, kicking and screaming if need be. I will also be doing a rosary novena with my diocese October 14th through October 22, and then another one with the USCCB October 26th to November 3rd. Join me if you would like.

On a lighter note, I'm a volunteer writer-in-residence again at my hometown library, so I'm obligated to focus on writing this month, and need write, research, and workshop without distraction. I have two Forensics and Fiction books all tabbed and ready to read, plus a book about army nurses in the Vietnam War. The plot of book one in the alternate-history/fantasy/mystery trilogy is fast congealing, and I want to strike while the iron is hot. I need to focus! My ultimate goal is to be ready to write a little each day in November, returning to my heretical NaNoWriMo ways.

I'll let you know how it all turns out in my first Novemebr post, which will be a reading roundup of October. Until then, let's take a look at what I read this month:

Two Six Shooters Beat Four Aces: Stories of a Young Arizona by Barbara Marriott Ph.D

Genre: History - Anecdotes

Why I read it: Arizona book club pic

What I thought of it: While it's clear that Marriott is an excellent researcher, she is either a bad writer or in serious need of an editor. Individual paragraphs proved internally repetitive, and the overall structure of each chapter was slapdash. It needed smoother transitions from anecdote to anecdote or more section breaks and section headers.

Would I recommend it: No, everyone in my book club, including myself, hated it.

7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

Genre: Supernatural Mystery

Why I read it: I'd been wanting to for a while; the premise caught my eye

What I thought of it: The body-hopping time-loop stuff was brilliant, the characters likable, and the story delightfully twisty. The last twist and conclusion were unsatisfying, though.

Would I recommend it: Yes!! Despite it's flaws, it was an exciting, fun, and original book. I will definitely be reading Turton's next book (which involves a closed circle of suspects and, possibly, demons!?).

The Exorcist by William Blatty

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: I'd been meaning to for a while, and writing research gave me an excuse to do so

What I thought of it: I like that it doesn't pull it's punches; I'm kind of shocked that it's only been censored a couple times, actually. It presents demons as they are: hateful, grotesque jerks who get off on picking on humans. I also liked that there was a murder mystery subplot. I'm not sure I approve 100% of the ending, theologically speaking, but that's a pretty minor quibble.

Would I recommend it: Yes, but it is not for the feint of heart. Trigger warnings for child sexual abuse, adult sexual abuse, language, violence, the works.

How to Destroy America in Three Easy Steps by Ben Shapiro

Genre: Nonfiction - politics

Why I read it: It's a long story that I shall tell about in my memoir of library life, but not here. Also the cover is 10/10

What I thought of it: It was ok. I already knew most of what he said. I disagreed with some of it, like seeing the constant moving of people from town to town in 1950s as a positive thing; in actuality, "company men" in the 50s were moved around so they wouldn't have community ties but instead ties to the company, which is anti-human to the extreme. I did think it was interesting that he combatted the idea of America's greatness being built off the backs of slaves by pointing out that slavery was actually terrible for the south, as reliance on slavery retarded their economic system well after the Civil War.

Would I recommend it: If you're into political books, sure.

American Sherlock: Murder, Forensics, and the Birth of American CSI by Kate Winkler Dawson

Genre: True Crime - forensic history

Why I read it: I love historical true crime

What I thought of it: It was ok, but kind of didn't make the case for him being "The American Sherlock Holmes" (even though people really did call him that back in the day), in that a lot of his conclusions ended up being a little dubious. Still, from a research perspective, it did establish when various forensic practices started being used in the USA.

Would I recommend it: Maybe? I personally liked Father of Forensics more. I'd say this book is, like, 3/5 stars, just because it could have been tightened up a bit.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: It's spooky season!

What I thought of it: Having already seen the movie, I knew pretty much what was going to happen, but I love Gaiman's turn of phrase.

Would I recommend it: Yes, especially for children who are too young for scarier fair but still want a creepy story.

The Horror at Red Hook by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: It's still spooky season!

What I thought of it: I honestly liked this a lot more than the Cthulhu mythos stuff. Rather than vague demoniac blasphemies or black cyclopean gulfs, there's a real tangible cult that sacrifices (reanimated?) corpses to a pale, dancing, snickering Thing on a golden pedestal. I dig it.

Would I recommend it: Yes. Just... ignore the racism. That goes for all of Lovecraft's stuff, by the by.

Herbert West: Reanimator by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: Turns out I like HP Lovecraft. Who knew?

What I thought of it: You gotta love mad scientists who try to reanimate the dead, right? I think this one would make an excellent mini-series.

Would I recommend it: Yes.

Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh

Genre: Essay - illustration/comics

Why I read it: I loved Hyperbole and a Half, and was excited when I saw Brosh was coming out with another book.

What I thought of it: It was okay. Not as good as her first book, but for an understandable reason: medical complications and her sister's suicide (that's not a spoiler, as the book is dedicated to her sister). Thus, the book had a heaviness to it that the first one didn't. Still there were some parts that made me laugh so hard I cried.

Would I recommend it: Maybe? I'd say borrow it from the library, but don't buy it, unless you are also suffering a loss. It might be really relatable and cathartic in that case.

The Rats in the Walls by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: I like HP Lovecraft

What I thought of it: Not as scary as I had been led to believe by my brother, but still a good story. I plan on reading Lovecraft Country at some point, which supposedly flips Lovecraft's racism on it's head, and so help me, if it doesn't make reference to this story and chattel slavery, I'll throw a fit.

Would I recommend it: Yes. I like that the cat didn't die. :)

The Shadow Over Innsmouth by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: I just... I just really like Lovecraft, okay?

What I thought of it: I find the sea inherently creepy, so when you have a decrepit backwater filled with a fishy stench and secrets, it's gotta be good.

Would I recommend it: Yes, especially if you liked the Fishing Hamlet part of the Bloodborne DLC (which I could not help but think of the whole time reading this novella).

The Thing on the Doorstep by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: You know why.

What I thought of it: So if you've read enough Lovecraft, especially Dunwich Horror and Shadow Over Innsmouth, you already know what's coming... or do you? Right away, HP establishes that there is a special knock the guy uses with his friend, so I assumed the twist end would involve the Thing appearing in the guy's body but not using the knock, thus revealing itself to be (redacted for slight spoilers). I was wrong. That's not how it played out, and the way it played out was so much creepier!!!

Would I recommend it: Yeah! I really liked this one!

Haunter of the Dark by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Horror

Why I read it: Yup

What I thought of it: Same ol', same ol, but what I thought was cool in this one was that the supposedly superstitious Italian Catholic immigrants totally know what's up and spend their stormy nights keeping the Haunter at bay with nothing but candles and flashlights. What a neat detail!

Would I recommend it: Yup. :)

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Shins-bro

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Izuku and Shinso are best buds. Thats it. 

shinsou has a terrible mum and he's complaining about it "ironically"

like : "lmao my mum is gonna beat my ass for this shitty mark" and he's shocked when izuku is like 3 seconds away from tears

izuku drags shinso to his house and his mum is home and shinso is Spooked bc,, adult?? friends???

hes so scared that inkos gonna yell at him for doing something stupid but as soon as he walks in the door izuku trips over his own feet taking off his shoes and tackle hugs his mum

so izuku and inko are laughing and like, half-fallen over bc izuku is a chunky boy and shinso is so lost??? at the door and inko uses her quirk to pull him over by the shirt and join in the hug

udhihdsf she!!! picks both of them up and squishes these good heroes in the best mother hug

izuku is laughing and shinso is sh o o k bc this is the nicest hug he's ever had???

inko puts them both down and flushes a little, says sorry for hugging shinso but she hasn't seen her boy in so long! and he must be a lovely young man if he's friends with izuku

she bustles off to go stir dinner on the stove and izuku just grins and looks at shinso

"isn't my mum great?!"

",,,yeah"

he and shinso go to his room and izuku pulls out his old console

admits he used to make his mum play this fighting game over n over when he was little, and that she always used to pick this female hero with a big white cape because she liked her hair. he giggles and tells shinso that if he wants izuku can maybbbeee let him play allmight

he picks endeavour for a sec and asks shinso if je just wants to beat up endeavour for a minute before they really start

it turns into them setting like 6 AI to level 9 endeavours and them both playing allmight to beat the crap out of them

inko walks in w tea and little cakes she made and gasps happily bc she loved that game! so they restart the round with 2 allmights + 1 nana plus all the endeavour AI

izuku and shinso keep protecting inko's character from all the fire bc she doesn't deserve this

izuku shoves a cupcake into shinsou's mouth when he goes to ask izuku something

shinsou like, lights up bc he's never had home-baked stuff before and its sooooo good so he just kind melodramatic puts his controller down and says "i guess this is kamino ward 2.0" as all might gets crispy fried by the AI and shoves the cupcake into his face

izuku c a ck l e s

izuku and inko, melodramatically "we can't let allmight 1 fall!! protect him!!!" and they try to save this idle allmight as shinso watches w icing on his face

inko and izuku save idle allmight and shinso cheers softly. inko shoves a cupcake into hers and izuku's faces and hands another to shinso in celebration

she then ducks out to go take care of the dinner again. izuku giggles and puts dollop of icing on shinsos nose, who sneezes then looks offended that his nose dared to sneeze

shinso tries to lick the icing off he nose

but like

it's not working

and izuku is losing it laughing but shinso is stubborn and won't stop just bc what he's doing is v stupid. they end up w shinso's legs on izuku’s bed w his back on the floor, izuku leaning against the bed. shinso isn't really sure why he thought this was a good idea

and they run through English homework and shinso and izuku are both shockingly good and both refuse to admit its bc they spend too much time on tumblr/youtube

shinsou: gee izuku why are u so good at english

izuku, who has been reading self insert all might x reader fics for like 50% of his life: no reason :)))

fdguhdfghufh shinsou, who has been reading angsty fics of all his faves instead of going to therapy: wow same ,,,

also im sorry but, izuku def reads allmight self insert that isn't like "uwu dating you" but its like "what if allmight was ur best friend" or "allmight is your secret dad??? uwu"

u know all those old ass watt pad fics where one direction adopts u, that but all might and all the chapters are just

all might tucks u into bed after a hard school day and tells you he’s proud of you

all might fucking detroit smashes ur class bully into the concrete

u and all might attend the premiere of his latest docuseries and u cry bc there’s a whole preface abt how u changed his life for the better and he could not ask for a better child

izuku and shinso go through their old tumblr/wattpad/deviantart accounts and cry laugh

its all in terrible english and one of the comments is "are you 10 or can you just not speak english"

6 years later, izuku responds

"both, actually"

izuku writing vent fics but they’re like

“all might punches my classmate bc he stole my fuckign apple juice kacchan i hate u”

"all might tells me i don't need my fuckign dad i haven't seen since i was 4 and he becomes my new dad"

“all might tells me i have no bedtime and makes my mom dinner bc she’s stressed and she needs a nap”

"all might adopts me and marries my mum and has a kid who becomes my brother and best friend"

he wrote them all between 6-12 he started writing better shit when he was 12 and made a new account (better, not good.)

his first round of fics were like all in first person and shinsou’s w h e e z i n g like why’d u think this was a good idea. izuku s cryign bc hE WAS SIX HITOSHI STOP IT. its like really terrible english too

izuku is mad but then he realizes he was hitoshi's deviantart open and he g r i n s (its all shitty drawings of cats and his OC Hero ) there are like twenty pictures of his actual cat taken on a shoddy ds camera

also as like, a soft dumb thing izuku is like speed typing on his laptop and shinsou is like??

izuku shushes him n tells him he wants to finish it before dinner

what hes done

is he wrote one of the shitty self insert fics, intentionally shittily but w allmight as izukus dad and eraserhead and shinsous and they live together for no reason at the "hero apartments" and can be brothers

shinso is laughing and crying at the same time and izuku is like

",,,, im gonna send it to present mic"

"nO"

"do you think ill get extra credit?"

"nO DOnT DO IT"

izuku in retaliation sending in some of shinsou’s oldass oc comics and mics just

“i mean

it’s in english,,,”

they get extra credit but it's not really helpful bc they both had As now they both have A plus' but dont wan them

(mic sends it to all might and eraserhead but like, redacts shinso and izukus names and aizawa is twitching w either rage or laughter, all might is bright red and giggling like an idiot)

pls the teachers gc is just “all might and eraserhead tuck u in and call u a Good Boy” for the next three months

as a running joke, whenever they can, that's what izuku and shinso write for English

like in german we had to write plays and act out little skits in german. in english, they do that but like, izuku is eraserhead and shinso is a cat stuck in a tree 

they have to write sentences w different words? and they get "comfort" "rescue" and "light" and its all shit like

"my dad eraserhead rescued me from homework because mic is terrible"

"all might's fatherly love lights up the hole in my heart"

"the fatherly aura of allmight and eraserhead brings me comfort on my darkest days"

izuku gives the ol puppy dog eyes to aizawa who begrudgingly lets them sleep over at inko's house

and there is only one bed! and they cant decide who gets it

so

neither of them sleep in it and they both stubbornly lay on the floor. it takes like 5 seconds for them to start laughing

[tottwritesfanfic]

Fanfic Authors Tag Game

Thankee for tagging @moramewhq​

AO3 name(s): Tottwriter, [REDACTED] Fandoms: Haikyuu!!, Digimon (a little lapsed, but I still tinker with my WIPs!), sliiiightly BNHA, and I have a TUA wip which I will someday resume. I try not to venture into new fandoms but, you know...I fail. Number of fics: I have 56 posted works, but also, uh... a few which I haven’t gotten to posting yet.

1. Fic I spent the most time on:

Um. Oh jeez. I mean, I guess nothing has overtaken Hope’s Fire just yet, because that’s the monster. Hopefully nothing else will? XD

2. Fic I spent the least time on:

Well this is genuinely a toss-up, because I have a few which I wrote for 20 minute prompt game fills, and then hardly even bothered to edit before they were thrown up on Ao3 without a backward glance.

Annoyingly, some of them are among my most popular works.

3. Longest fic:

Hope’s Fire! As I said, it’s the monster, currently clocking in at ~144k. My longest completed fic is The Ocean’s Curse though, which is 62.4k!

4. Shortest fic:

Okay so my shortest fic is actually a bit of weird experimental stuff I wrote for Starbound, which you will note I did not list in the fandoms above, lol. It’s old and weird and 351 words long... I don’t think anyone wants to read it. You don’t want to read it.

5. Most hits:

Hope’s Fire! It’s not really surprising tbh, given how long ago I started it and how many chapters it has. 

6. Most kudos:

Hope’s Fire wins this one too! I bet you’re all really shocked to learn this.

7. Most comment threads:

...imma give you lot one guess. 

8. Favorite fic I wrote:

fuck. Er. I dunno? I mean I write because I like writing them, you know? But honestly if I have to narrow it down... Parallel for the ‘serious’ fics, and either Press Play or (Not) Moving On for my more lighthearted stuff. It’s hard to pick when I swing between such tone extremes!

9. Fic you want to re-write:

I mean this is probably gonna sound really dumb but...kinda also Hope’s Fire??

Hear me out tho, because it’s complicated (and also I sorta already am). This fic started in 2015. I love it wholeheartedly, and I keep coming back to tinker and I wish life would stop throwing so much shit in my way and let me devote a bit more time to fic-writing so I continue it properly. 

But the periodic and spaced-out returns have meant that every time I knuckle down I end up re-reading the whole fic for continuity and tone reasons. You can probably see where this is going. Each time I read my old opening I cringe. It’s just not up to the standards of my writing today and it bugs me.

If I’m being brutally honest, part of the reason I haven’t updated it in so long is that I keep getting distracted going back and tweaking/fixing old chapters rather than focusing on new ones. It’s a bad habit but one I just can’t seem to kick.

10. Share bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

You know, I’m actually gonna give two. I’ll drop them below a cut because this got long, but I know I have both Digimon and HQ peeps here and it’s sucky to be in the fandom that doesn’t get the love. I can’t promise when I’ll manage to get either of these posted (I’m trying to avoid adding more works to my Ao3 until they’re actually, you know, finished) but...they exist!

First up, we have Fun and Games at the Adventure Cafe

Yes, this is exactly what you think it is:

The notice on the door said “HELP WANTED” in large, sensible font.

The addendum “Enquire Within” sat below it, equally formal.

Scribbled underneath in scruffy handwriting was just one more addition:

     ‘as in we’re hiring. dw we know what we’re doing.’

   The notice on the door the following morning was back to plain old:

     HELP WANTED      Enquire Within

…It lasted half a day or so, at least.

As Sora remarked later, it was a wonder they got any applicants at all. Then again, as Taichi remarked, it wasn’t as though a lot of places were taking on extra staff—which was something of an oddity as the summer approached.

“It’s that swanky place round the corner,” he said with disgust, peering out of the window. “Bastards are driving everyone out of business.”

“But not you guys, right!” piped up their current interviewee. “You’re doing great! Honestly, as soon as I saw the sign I knew I had to apply. I’ve always wanted to start my own ramen business, and I figure I ought to start out with a popular place like this and get some real experience in the industry, you know?”

“Er, yes. Right,” Sora remarked, looking over his application. “Well, Daisuke, I will have to warn you that as a new hire you’d be working front-of-house rather in the kitchen, but if you’re okay with that—”

“Eh, just tell him he’s hired already,” Taichi replied, turning back to face them with a grin. “Yamato could definitely use a hand in the kitchen sometimes, so taking on a future all-rounder makes total sense.”

From the look Sora shot him, it perhaps didn’t, but Daisuke was already practically leaping to his feet with a grin, exclaiming that they could totally rely on him, and he absolutely would not let them down and could start the next day if they needed him to.

Next up, for my HQ peeps, here’s a little snippet from Connection Problems, my longtime langushing halfway chatfic. I’m not sharing the chatfic stuff because formatting tumblr is hell, though. 

Kenma always suspected that being a third year would turn out to be a pain, but he’d rather hoped his fears wouldn’t be realised within the first few weeks of the school year. Really, it’s bad enough that Kuro, Yaku and Kai have left, and that everyone else nominated him for the role of Captain (he’d talked them down to being Vice Captain instead, but that, apparently, was as low as they were prepared to go). He does not need Taketora constantly pestering him about—of all things—a chat group as well.

“Come on, I thought you and Kuroo were like, joined at the hip or something! Don’t try and act like you don’t miss him now he’s at university.”

He shrugs. “I have a phone. We’re keeping in touch.” Because, really. That’s all that matters, isn’t it? Why does everyone have to complicate things so much?

“Yeah, but, it’s not the same, right? Besides, what the hell! You spend all that time on your phone as it is. And even Fukunaga joined, right?”

Kenma glances over at Shouhei, who nods, grinning sheepishly. Drat.

“Still, I don’t have that chat app you all use,” he says. “It’s too much trouble setting it up, when I can message Kuro just fine.”

That should have been the end of it. Any rational person would have seen that it was no good, and left him in peace. Kuro would have, certainly. Not pushing—never pushing, actually. Just nudging him along a little, and even then, only when it comes to volleyball. He’s learnt all of Kenma’s limits over the years.

But the thing is, Kuro isn’t there any more. It’s just himself, Taketora and Shouhei, and okay, Shouhei never pushes—he hardly ever says anything, for that matter. But Taketora is clearly some sort of demon and he, Kenma, is being punished. Maybe he really pissed someone off in a previous life. Maybe this is a penance so he can piss someone off in his next life with a free pass. Either way, the badgering doesn’t let up.

Kenma holds out until the 27th of May. Seven weeks of hassling is more than enough for anyone.

Aaaand for tagging how about: @ahiddenpath, @humandisasterbuckybarnes, @mooifyourecows

[renardtrickster]

I am going to kill you and ask you to do every number on that ask post

You devious yet cute bastard, I’m in.

1. What is you middle name?

Personal information so I’m not divulging it, but it abbreviates to X.

2. How old are you?

Legal.

3. When is your birthday?

September 26.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Libra/The Scales/The Dragon/Terepy

5. What is your favorite color?

Dark Green. #127712 specifically.

6. What’s your lucky number?

I think 2? I do like 12 though.

7. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore. I used to have two dogs though.

8. Where are you from?

Florida. I came out of the swamps.

9. How tall are you?

5′10″

10. What shoe size are you?

28cm, Women’s 11.5, Men’s 9.5, that’s what my sneakers say.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Two. A pair of loafers so broken down I avoid wearing them whenever possible, and a pair of fine sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about?

All I remember is that Duff McWhalen’s theme song was playing throughout it and it was really annoying after a while.

13. What talents do you have?

I would say my talents are acute memory of obscure topics, vivid storytelling, and I’m pretty good at video games.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

It doesn’t happen with much frequency nowadays, but when I was younger and it happened a bit more often, I could always tell when I was being observed with no other clues. I could feel the eyes on my back. I can also bend spoons and set fires with my mind but that’s less interesting.

15. Favorite song?

More like favorite song right now, but probably Rocket Surgeon.

16. Favorite movie?

The Persona 3 movies currently.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Off of the top of my head, I’m imagining someone who’s heart-throbbing to look at (pretty women or cute boys), pretty sharp, tough to boot, has a lot in common with me, and is understanding too. I’ve got a few quirks, and it’d be nice to know that I’m not condemned to dying alone because of them.

18. Do you want children?

Not in the slightest.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I don’t even want a wedding wedding. If we’re partners, isn’t being together enough? From what I know, weddings just add unnecessary stress and complication.

20. Are you religious?

I’m definitely spiritual, and Religion connected to that, even if I don’t devote myself to a specific doctrine. It’s less pantheism and more “they’re probably all true to an extent and also SMT is real”. In any case I just try to be a good person.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

As a patient, none that I could remember but I know I went because of various injuries. As a visitor, quite a few times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I’ve done things that would get me in trouble with the law, but have not run afoul of them yet. The closest would be that one time I was staying at a hotel, and the police knocked on my door and asked if I knew where someone was living. I didn’t, but I guessed anyway, and that’s how half the hotel had the police knocking on their door.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

No.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

White with grey soles.

26. Have you ever been famous?

I have a lot of followers on this tumblr blog, would that count?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I want to be a famous author, so kind of. But I want to still retain my anonymity and not have my real name and face attached to stuff. Yoko Taro gives me hope in that regard, because he’s rather famous but any information we know about him, we know on his terms. That’s how I want to live.

28. What type of music do you like?

I usually listen to video game OSTs, and most of the ones I listen to are so genre-blending so it’s hard to pin down. Most of it is instrumental, but I’m not opposed to music with vocals. Genres aren’t cohesive, so I’d say “music that makes you want to punch robots to” and “music that makes you want to talk to friends to”. J-rap is pretty good though.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Hell no!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I toss and turn before going to sleep and while asleep, but my back seems to be consistent.

32. How big is your house?

It’s pretty decent. 2 room 1 bath, and the living room is rectangular.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Milk & cereal, or pop-tarts.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

No, but I want to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I think once in grade school. I wish I could try again though.

36. Favorite clean word?

Cerebral just off the top of my head.

37. Favorite swear word?

Bastard or Shit. The former is innately funny and all-purpose to refer to someone. The latter is so versatile it can be used in any context.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think a day, although the standard is around 18.

39. Do you have any scars?

I don’t think so.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I think there was one person in school who had a thing for me but they were gay and at the time I thought I was straight, so I paid them no mind. There was also someone who said “X likes you”, but I didn’t know who X was so I said “cool” and went on my way. I was also propositioned once in middle school, but that’s less “secret admirer” and more “sexual harasser”.

41. Are you a good liar?

I think so.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

For good people, yes. For bad people, no.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yeah. I remember playing Undertale and my little sister was nearby, and I decided to voice all the characters. I had a lot of fun!

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m actually the only member of my family that doesn’t have a Boston accent.

45. What is your favorite accent?

Russian, hands-down.

46. What is your personality type?

According the the Myers-Briggs test I just took, ISFP-T/Adventurer. Which is bizarre considering I’m pretty sure I got a different result a year or so ago. According to “what word would you use”, droll.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have no idea. Either those sneakers, or the heavy winter jacket I got when I was in Colorado. Both were gifts, so I never saw the pricetag, but my Dad said they were pretty nice-looking.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yeth.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inside.

50. Left or right handed?

Left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

My knowledge of spiders is well enough that I know at least 2 types of spiders who can kill you horribly in one bite, and know little enough that I can’t tell any of them apart from common house spiders. I’m more afraid of dying stupidly because the boner spider snuck up on me than the idea of spiders themselves.

52. Favorite food?

Either Macaroni & Cheese or Cheeseburgers.

53. Favorite foreign food?

Burritos probably, even though I usually only eat meat and cheese on them. Are you detecting a theme because I am.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I try to be clean, but I’m usually a bit scattered.

55. Most used phrased?

“says something about”, “despite that” are some. Although I know I tend to use a few stock phrases When I Post Long.

56. Most used word?

I wouldn’t even know where to begin finding that out.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Maybe a few minutes, although I’m usually working on a set routine.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think I do. If I do, I tend to exaggerate it or turn it to a positive end.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

No matter how hard I want to keep it at sucking, I usually bite at some point. Don’t screencap this.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

No.

62. Are you a good singer?

Also no.

63. Biggest Fear?

Most if not all of my friends, and the people I admire as well, all either start hating me or end up hating me and I lose every social connection I have or want to have. The reason varies, whether it be my fault or someone slandering me, but being hated by people I like freaks me out. As does the idea of not being able to tell my stories.

64. Are you a gossip?

I’d like to say no but considering I rather frequently discuss discourse in my Discord chats, I guess I am.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I do not watch drama films.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On myself, long-to-middle length. On others, any length really.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not.

68. Favorite school subject?

Social studies was a strong suit of mine.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No.

71. What makes you nervous?

Time passing and things not getting done.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No. The things in the dark can eat it too.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes, but I try to be kind about it. Or funny.

74. Are you ticklish?

I haven’t been tickled recently, so I wouldn’t know.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No. At worst, I’ve spread information I don’t think is 100% accurate, but I ALWAYS disclaim that it shouldn’t be trusted without further research.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

I’m an older sibling, so yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

No.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but I was offered twice. Once by an irresponsible (and awful) authority figure, once by some kids in the bathroom. Both times I said “no thanks”, and funny enough the former tried to change my mind, and the latter just said “ok cool”.

79. Who was your first real crush?

Oh god here come the bad memories. I’m heavily abbreviating and redacting information to protect the identities of me and all involved, but in Colorado I met someone in middle school who more or less fit all my parameters for “ideal partner”. But I was terminally nervous and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I left it at that. Eventually I had to abruptly leave the state for reasons I don’t want to get into, and all a week or so later I made a Facebook account and found all my friends. My contact with my crush was the most constant. Eventually, I was talking with a different buddy, and they mentioned romantic problems. I mentioned I had some too, and they eventually ferreted it out of me. They told me I should confess, and I said no, both because I want to remain friends, and because I can’t do a long-distance relationship. They told me they’d go behind my back if I didn’t, and I warned them not to. Five minutes later, I get messaged by my crush. To put it short, it wouldn’t work out. I stopped talking to both, and was pretty depressed afterwards, to the point where I couldn’t feel any romance, sexuality, or companionship towards anybody. I got over it sometime later, and I think I realized I was bi around the same time. I kind of wish I could smooth things over, but it’s been so long I don’t think it’s an option anymore. Plus Facebook has a horrible interface and is terrible so I really don’t want to.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Zero.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No.

82. How fast can you type?

VERY.

83. How fast can you run?

Also VERY.

84. What color is your hair?

Dark.

85. What color is your eyes?

I looked in a mirror for a minute. I think it’s either grey, green, or brown?

86. What are you allergic to?

Pollen and bullets.

87. Do you keep a journal?

No.

88. What do your parents do?

My Dad makes food at the mall.

89. Do you like your age?

I wish I had all the benefits of adulthood but was still 17.

90. What makes you angry?

People acting stupid when they should know better, things not working when they should, and things going wrong when they shouldn’t. While not my intention in answering this question, this site has all three :^)

91. Do you like your own name?

My given name is pretty okay. I really like Renardie though.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I am not having children.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Three times I have said I’m not having children.

94. What are you strengths?

Imagination, expression, intellect, and pluck.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Procrastination, anxiety, and obsession.

96. How did you get your name?

For my given name, I’ll keep it brief for privacy’s sake, but my parents are comic book nerds. For Renardie, I’m simply a fan of Reynard the Fox.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

My Dad’s a King in the figurative sense, does that count?

98. Do you have any scars?

This is a repeat question. Someone get OP’s ass.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Off-color baby blue.

100. Color of your room?

White.

[dragonindigo245]

Project [REDACTED]

Heyo!!! This is a WIP story I'm doing with the amazing @pawton-meowity ! Hope you enjoy! The odd numbered chapters will be posted on their Tumblr while the even ones will be on mine. Feel free to request to be added to the tag list for updates! Thanks! 💜🖤💜

————

Chapter 2: P.O.V. Of Logan

The probability of me having the knowledge of three people coming was as Patton put it, astronomical. I saw them approach the edge of the crater and then they were gone only to have them fade away and the scene play out once more. I simply shook this aside however because the three didn't look like the type who had come to 'chill'. The one with a green and purple eye looked between all of us before loudly asking, "What the hell?!?"

I moved from my spot next to the meteorite and placed myself firmly in front of Patton. Roman however was one step ahead figuratively.

"Problem, Casper the Dreary Ghost?"

The figure in the black ruffled shirt shoved the 'edgier' one aside, as if that was how he got a chance to speak.

"Ooo! Someone with pop culture references! I want that one! Can I, can I, can I, Dee? Pleeeeeease?"

The supposed 'Dee' slapped a gloved hand over the energetic one.

"No. Shut up. We're totally here for the- ARE YOU EATING MY GLOVE?" Dee pulled his hand away in pure disgust. Clearly the one with the ruffles was a little bit unhinged.

The only one who even seemed to acknowledge us anymore was the heterochromatic one. He sighed and slid down the crater like Roman had done so elegantly. Our group was still a little uneasy of him but didn't bother to say anything about him entering the hole. Wait... doesn't that mean he's stuck down-

"Hey nerd, who were the first two that touched this?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked to see the heterochromatic one sitting on the meteorite casually.

"Pardon? Why is that necessary information?"

"Cause it's important, idiot."

"I beg to differ. I am one of the leading students in my major. An idiot would be-"

"It's just a saying now PLEASE just answer the question."

Patton cut in with both of his hands between us despite the noticeable distance we had from each other.

"Guys! Fighting isn't gonna do anything! Let's just be reasonable, introduce ourselves, and talk it out. Okay?" Normally I would object to this seeing as how I did not wish to make acquaintances with this foreboding figure however Patton seemed more than a little uneasy. Instead of denying his request I simply sighed and mumbled an apology.

"Virgil. Now can you please answer my question?"

"Virgil?" I asked curiously him. "Is that your name then?"

He nodded and motioned to Patton. "He said for us to introduce ourselves and I don't particularly care to learn your guys names soooo... can you answer my question or are you going to dodge around it more?"

Patton spoke up quickly, ignoring Virgil's sour attitude and as Roman would call it: Edgy personality.

"Well I'm Patton! This is Logan or who you called a uh... nerd... and the one with the red hoodie is Roman! To answer your question you desperately want the answer to well Logan and I were the first two. Why do you ask?"

Virgil massaged his nose and mumbled something nobody was close enough to hear. He glanced at Roman who was more interested in the other two people and back to us.

"Do you know how much trouble you have gotten yourselves into? Why would you even touch a giant unknown object that was designed to look steam- OH SHIT I said too much." He hopped down from the meteor and jumped up part of the crater. With ease he scaled it with precise placement of his feet and made it to the top in almost no time.

The rest of his group stopped talking and took one glance at him and seemed to take some hint I couldn't see. The ruffly one bowed to us with a large grin.

"Well you've been a wonderful audience but we're gonna go now! Enjoy the rest of your pathetic lives! Especially you Roman, hope nobody clobbers you over the head with a mace!" Dee pulled him with them and angrily shouted:

"Let's go Remus! You'll get to talk to them later! Less talking and more running!"

Finally the last piece of the set as I believe the saying goes. Wait... Running? They must be running from the people coming from the opposite end of the crater... wait how did I know that? That can't be possible for me to know.

"Roman, Patton, I think they have the right idea. We should go back and swiftly. Something isn't right."

Patton nodded and whispered: "You're right, it's left." before going to the area Virgil climbed. "How do we even climb this? It seems... risky..."

Roman came up to Patton and assessed the wall. "Maybe one of us could stay here while the others climb to catch them if they fall... then the last one just attempt it head on? We could vote or something..."

Roman and I looked at each other and in unison said: "Patton is going up first."

Patton opened his mouth to protest but quickly decided against it when we glared at him, or rather I did at least. I couldn't see Roman's face at the time after all.

I took Patton's hand into my own and helped him onto the first little ledge. I wanted to make sure he could be safe for as long as possible before he was out of my grip. The first step up was alright, second step, third, at the fourth I had to let go which made it worse for my nerves. Fifth, siiiiiiix... that one was almost bad. Seven... one more, ni-

"PATTON!" I screamed as he fell from the very top. I knew where and when he would land somehow and I was very grateful for that. I caught a shaking Patton in my arms and tried to soothe him as much as I could. He got out of my arms slowly and lay down on the ground as if it would help him regain his breath. We didn't have time for this but if we did I would have continued to help him.

"I'll go first this time, Roman. You help Patton climb up as much as you can then I'll make sure he doesn't fall again." Roman nodded seriously (for a change) and I took one last glance at Patton to make sure he was okay. He still was, thankfully, and with that I picked myself up to the first ledge.

Each step up was steeper and steeper. I could see why Patton fell. By the fifth step I was barely still holding on. The sixth one was quite a reach.

Well, if all else fails I end up with a broken bone and mild concussion. No time to ponder now though, we have taken too much valuable escape time already.

The steps were hard but I got to the final one eventually and used all my strength to make it up and out of the crater. Roman watched me the whole way and when I got to the top he helped Patton stand up. Patton was obviously uneasy about this but tried again anyways. He climbed up carefully yet quickly, Roman watched each movement of Patton's but I don't think anyone could watch as carefully as I was.

Patton made it to arms reach and reached for me slowly. I put my arm out to him and he took it gratefully. Roman started his way up while I pulled Patton up. He quickly got away from the edge without another word as I began to help Roman up just as we began to hear voices in the distance.

We didn't need to tell each other to run before we took off into the forest. This time Roman and I were both careful to not leave Patton behind. These people could be life threatening and we were not going to risk Patton's life, not if I had anything to say about it at least.

The pines thick branches covered in needles did not help our circumstances and only made things far worse for each of us. We constantly had to dodge away mid run so we wouldn't tri- Something came at us from below and tripped all three of us. A loud hiss came from a snake as it rose up in front of us. Its species was highly abnormal for a forest in Florida. We do not get false cobras anywhere near here seeing as how they are native to the Middle East. This one however was meer inches away from our faces.

Two people leaped out of the nearby brambles: Virgil and Remus from our earlier encounter. They both helped us up as if the cobra was an everyday thing. It must have actually been because Remus crouched down to pick the cobra up who didn't so much as flinch.

"Come on Dee! Into the bush!" The lunatic threw the cobra into the brambles. He THREW the cobra INTO the bush. Why in the world would he even throw a living creature?

The snake hissed in annoyance and most likely in some slight discomfort. From the bush rose Dee, the other member of their trio.

"Remus! What the fuck?!? That didn't hurt!" Didn't hurt? That was a lie. Did the snake bite him? If so he should probably get that looked at. Remus simply stuck his tongue out in response. Virgil pushed Remus into a bush and sighed, annoyed.

"Asshole... anyways you three made it out of the hole so I recommend you hide out here rather than keep running. The school will be the first place they check for any abnormalities." Roman pushed past Patton and I to loom over Virgil.

"Uh excUSE me? If you don't remember, Emoyore, you abandoned us in that pit to rot! You're lucky you are able to be graced with my precious face because we almost didn't make it! You should start explaining yourself or Zeus help me I will make you!" Virgil sighed and shrugged him off.

"Yeah yeah Princey, I'll explain later. If you value your freedom and don't want to end up like the Waluigi of us then I recommend hiding. Also here's a tip, work on your threats, tough guy."

Remus popped up from the ground with a big smile. "You called me Waluigi?!? I love it! I'm gonna start calling you Wario!" Virgil groaned.

"Please don't. Just everyone get into a hiding place and shut the hell up. Is nobody going to take an actual dangerous situation seriously?" Dee raised his hand.

"Uh I am?" Virgil shooed him off.

"Shut up, you got thrown in a bush. I'm exempting you." Wait they threw him in a bush before we got here? ...And then they threw a snake on him? Something didn't seem to add up but my thoughts didn't have time to make coherent sense of this situation before-

The voices came again and everyone immediately became silent. It felt strange after all the pointless arguing however they thankfully knew when to stop. Dee shrank down in his spot and Remus jumped in with him. A singular bush shouldn't be able to hold two adults but here we are.

Virgil on the other hand pulled his hood from his hoodie up and simply... vanished. Incredible, but certainly not the time to be in awe. Roman looked around for maybe two seconds before pointing up to the trees. That works.

Each of us picked a tree and climbed up it briskly. I was not used to having to use so much upper body strength in a short amount of time however when one is filled with adrenaline they are often capable of going beyond their limit. I had definitely reached mine already but I kept pushing forward.

When I got up as high as I could reach I tried to angle myself to sit on a branch but ended up more of kneeling on one while holding myself up with the trunk. The height was an advantage for us but hope quickly turned to fear (not much fear because I don't have emotions) when I saw an array of soldiers dressed like a SWAT team. They clearly weren't any of the government's employees, however, something told me that. Logically, I couldn't have known that but the human mind works in strange ways I suppose. Patton would know more about it than- move away from the branch. I quickly jumped to another branch as a bullet appeared from seemingly nowhere and struck the original position I was in.

Oh great, they're trying to kill us.

"Shoot em down! Careful not to hit his head or any vital organs!"

Okay they're not trying to kill us but this is probably worse.

I leaped behind the trunk as I heard two more guns release their bullets. Quick... think of a way out. Duck. I threw my body down on my current branch as a few bullets made holes in the unfortunate tree.

"You idiots! I said NOT THE ORGANS! We need him alive!"

Whoever that was is saving my life, giving me vital information, and definitely trying to capture me. It's a weird mix for sure. Are you going to get out of there or what? Okay I'm beginning to think that's not my own voice. Of course not, now get the fuck out of that tree and scram.

Another well timed jump and I made the mistake of stranding myself on a branch that would only take me downward to the unknown aggressors. Oh well good job. Hang on a mo, I'll get Virge. What? How? Okay, okay, okay, this is getting to my head. Just think, Logan.

A bullet grazed my arm, snapping me back into the moment. I took the risk and jumped downward where they could shoot me easier. It was a lot harder to move to where the bullets weren't going to be. By some miracle I kept up, however, knowing exactly where they would shoot next. I must have picked up on their behaviors or something.

The aggressors suddenly stopped firing at me and started shooting at some unseen object. From my angle it was just flora as far as I could see. This was no time to observe though. This was perfect timing to escape.

I jumped down the tree swiftly and once my feet hit the ground I jumped into a bush. They would be more likely to find me here, however this was the best I could guarantee for the time being.

Suddenly the guns stopped firing as each armored fighter looked at each other. In one second they coordinated their movements and shot each other down. I had never heard of anything like it. Everyone turning on each other for no reason and yet doing so in unison? Needless to say the attack on themselves was successful and every last one of them dropped dead.

Roman and Patton got down from their trees and stared at the scene, just as baffled as I surely. I joined their side, as did- wait when did Virgil get here? Never mind.

Speaking of Virgil, he was smiling. That is a rather odd reaction to dead bodies. "Well Remus you did quite a number on them. Thanks for getting me out of that. Anyways, what are we gonna do with the bodies?" Roman and Patton looked to Virgil in a strange mix of shock and confusion while I kept my emotions shoved down because this certainly was not the time for them. That being said I did cast him an interested glance. This explanation is going to be interesting.

[age-sliding-flug]

FAQ/Q&A

Figured I outta do this, just so everyone knows my pronouns/so I can answer some questions in advance.

PERSONAL QUESTIONS

Q: What are your pronouns? A: He/Him, please.

Q: What’s your name? A: Harrison [REDACTED], but y’all can call me Harry :3

Q: How old are you? A: [REDACTED] (Not comfortable with sharing, but I am 18+)

Q: How long have you been writing? A: 6+ years; pretty much all fanfiction. Working on a few original projects, but I’ll probably never share them here.

Q: Why so secretive? A: I hate to admit it, but age-sliding isn’t exactly well received by most folks, as most people associate mental regression with DDLG/CGL sexual play, which is... problematic, to say the least. Also, I’m very shy. (I swear to fuck if any of you send my series to Alan, I will fucking kill you. I would die of embarrassment.)

Q: Is Harry even your real name? A: No, it’s not my most preferred name. I’m a trans guy, so I’m already coming up with a new name for myself; thought I’d experiment with one I liked on here, even if I already pretty much have my new name figured out. (And no, it’s not Harry as in Harry Potter, it’s Harry as in Harry Dresden from The Dresden Files)

Q: Do you age-slide? What even IS age-sliding? A: Yes, I do indeed age-slide, but it’s not as often as it used to be for me; a lot of this series is me low-key coping with my age-sliding issues. As for what age-sliding is, age-sliding is when someone- typically an adult/older teenager- will mentally regress. More often than not, this is due to trauma from the age-slider’s youth (such is the case with me), and is the mind’s attempt to return to what was perceived to be a simpler/safer time. It’s different for everyone, and can be on different levels of manageable/difficult to deal with.

Q: Why is your AO3 username BottomDeathstroke if you’ve only written Villainous fics on there? A: That account was never intended to be for this series- which wasn’t planned to even be a series to begin with- and was intended to be a place for me to write and post NSFW/unrelated mental regression DCU fanfiction (starring Deathstroke usually, because I love him). Once this series is done, I’ll probably post that sort of content on there, but for now Villainous has taken over my life.

Q: What’s your main account? Both on AO3 and Tumblr? A: [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]

Q: What did you think of Villainous’ pilot? A: I absolutely loved it! I actually wrote an alternate ending fic for it set in the AU, which you can check out here! The pilot is very good, please watch it on YouTube and support the people behind it!

Q: Are you okay with getting asks/questions/prompts? A: Absolutely! I’m always happy to answer people’s questions; whether they’re about age-sliding, the series, or just from a few curious anons!

Q: Can people do fanart? A: YES!!! A thousands times yes!!! Gosh, that would absolutely make my day! If you do any fanart, please either send me a link/submit it to me and I’ll make sure to check it out/post it on this blog! If you want to be labeled as anonymous through a submission, please let me know so that I can list you as such!

FIC/SERIES QUESTIONS

Q: Did any other fics inspire this one? A: Yes! “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Scientist” on AO3 by yucky was a HUGE inspiration for this series. I know they haven’t updated in awhile, but the fic in general is very good, and definitely has some elements that I really like! Please check it out if you can, and send the author your support!

Q: What made you start writing this fic series? A: TBH, I dunno. I had just moved to [REDACTED] at the time I started, and was feeling incredibly lonely (I also was just getting over 1+ year’s worth of writer’s block). I only intended the first fic to be a one off sorta deal, but to my surprise, people seemed to actually like it, so that gave me the courage to keep going and, well... I got thinking about the rules of this AU’s universe/added the Heroic Crew, and from there everything spiraled out of control.

Q: Where can I find your fic series? A: I plan on posting full descriptions/links on this blog at some point, but for now, here’s a link to my AO3 profile: BottomDeathstroke.

Q: How old is everyone in the fic series? A: Okay, lemme list the ages from oldest to youngest: Black Hat: 1000+ White Hat: 1000+ Clemencia: 32 Demencia: 31 Slug: 22 Flug: 18 505: 2 606: 2

Q: Is this series going to go on forever or is there a planned ending? A: All too often I see age-sliding/mental regression fics go on for a bit, only to suddenly stop updating, which is pretty disappointing tbh. I do plan on having a big finale (that’s gonna be one hell of an emotional roller-coaster), but that’s not for quite awhile, as I want to fulfill all my planned fics (Flug confronting his mom, talking about where tf Slug and Flug’s dad went, Black Hat and White Hat origins, Clemencia and Demencia babysitting, winter holiday special, Halloween special, Black Hat teaching Flug to play the piano, etc) as well as do a few requests/ideas for the readers.

Q: What’s the ending gonna be? A: ;3

Q: Why is Flug trans? A: Because I’m trans and projecting, next question.

Q: Any other LGBT+ headcanons for the cast? A: Uuuuuuuuuh, Clemencia’s a lesbian, Demencia and Black Hat are bi af, White Hat is pan, Slug is gay and in the closet, Flug and BH are both trans but handle it in very different ways, and 505 and 606 are... bears. Yeah. I also see Flug as ace, so there’s that. The projection is strong with him.

Q: How old are Black Hat and White EXACTLY? A: Fuck if I know. They’re supposed to be from the very dawn of man, but the few times I’ve mentioned their ages during different time periods, I’ve realized how much I’ve fucked myself over doing that. Does it really matter? Probably not, but I like to be organized and flesh out the universe, so I’m dying, y’all.

Q: Why so much world building? A: I dunno, it’s just the way I am. I like a precise set of rules within my stories, and I like to delve into the politics of that story out of sheer curiosity. Besides, I’ve always been a huge superhero/supervillain fan, so getting into how those professions would actually WORK in a developed universe is fun for me!

Q: Has canon content ruined anything for you? A: Not really, but it’s changed my theories for people quite a bit (particularly for BH’s origins and Flug’s backstory). I’ll admit, there are certain things that I sometimes wish I had done differently, if only to fit my current theories for where the series is heading. But I don’t regret the headcanons I used for this series, and I’m gonna stick to them throughout, even if I don’t believe all of them are true anymore! (Y’all can take trans Flug from my cold, head fucking hands, tho.)

Q: Why are you writing a Heroic backstory fic if they’re not even canon characters? A: First of all, they’re canon in my heart. Second of all, I just thought it would be fun to write, and it definitely has been! Writing it has been interesting to say the least (and an important lesson on why long WIPs are a bad idea for me, rip), but I don’t regret it, and I’m proud of how it’s going so far! Still, definitely looking forward to getting back to our villainous favorites.

Q: When ARE you getting back to the Villainous characters? A: Soon, I promise. In the meantime, I DID write a fic with them in it recently,. Which, again, you can check out over here, as it’s an alternate ending rewrite for the pilot episode. But yeah, they’ll be back soon, I just want to finish “Taming a Stray” first.

I think that’s it for now! Lemme know if you guys have anymore questions that need answering, and I’ll be sure to add them to this post (or answer separately)! Have a good day!

[unfortunate-rp]

Congratulations, TY! You have been accepted as your desired character, JEFFERSON OQUASSA. Please be sure to complete the steps listed on the NEW MEMBER CHECKLIST and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?

OOC INFORMATION

Name: Ty Age: REDACTED Pronouns: He/Him Time zone: CST Activity Level (Please give a number from 1-10 and an explanation): 8.5 – full time college student on summer break Tumblr account (for contact purposes): REDACTED How did you find us?: been following for forever Triggers: REDACTED Anything Else?: 

CANON CHARACTER APPLICATION

Desired Character: Jefferson Oquassa Gender & Pronoun: Male. He/Him. Sexual Orientation: I think it would be interesting to have him not have really ever dated anyone since he is “too old for that shit” but he is attracted to men. Similar to Willam Dafoe in Boondock Saints where he is gay but he is “not a fairy” or whatever. I just find it amusing. Obviously I would never use any of the negative terminology though, like the FG word. Do you want any additional connections for your desired character that you’d like us to add to their bio?: I really like the character bios of James Armstrong and Daniel Bautisa [actually my original wanted character before giving it a lot more thought]. But I couldn’t really think of much of a connection between them.

Please provide at least 4 head canons and/or potential plans for your desired character. This can be done in bullets or paragraphs, but please be in depth! This portion of the semi-appless app is taking place in the para sample. This is the best way to show how you will portray the character and what you’d like to do with them.

• When something knocks you down, you get back up. These are the words that were engraved into Jefferson’s head since the day he could speak. His first word was ‘Fire’, something that concerned his father for various reasons, but what the parents didn’t realize was that it was the perfect word to describe his drive, attitude, and personality later in life.

• Speaking of Fire, he knew that Olivia would be like him and unlike him in so many ways the moment he laid eyes on her. He had an attitude issue, sure. But she was strangely calm. The water to his fire in many ways. When he would get angry and start trying to break things, she would tell him “If the ocean can calm itself, so can you.” It was her own version of the phrase he was taught for so many years. Now, when he is out on a mission for the VFD, whether fighting fires figuratively or literally, this is a mantra he sorts of repeats to not blow the mission by blowing his lid.

• Jefferson is an old and seasoned member of VFD, some would say. So, it only made sense that he would begin helping train some of the newer volunteers. Not to the extent of showing baby pictures of course, but just someone to help guide them along with words of wisdom and teaching codes. It is a somewhat selfish endeavor. He has put the past few years into researching the cause and effects of the Schism since anyone knows it is not just one thing that sent the snowball rolling. So, he wants someone ‘worthy’ enough to replace him so that he can dedicate more time to that as well as running Kakao. He loves the organization but wishes to sit on the sidelines for his last remaining years. Jefferson rather die by a fireside with a cup of bitter tea instead of in an actual fire.

• I am trying to come up with a clever headcanon for the exchange between Jefferson and Maura regarding Alex Hansen, and I have a few ideas but none of them are fleshing out very well, so I wanted to see your thoughts on this. But also, it can be super elusive and add some mystery.

[everlastingspiral]

hi hi, in your ask ‘cause of a tagged post and wanted to say i disagree about people going on “crusades” when it seems like (unless i missed a post??) people want others to draw/write what they want for the listeners (i do agree the whole ’not *the* listeners, *your* listeners’ thing is silly tho like lol the latter part is implied automatically) but just tag/note so they can decide to engage or not. but anyway, i scrolled your tumblr and found a few things i agreed with (xavier being introduced just to die, the consequences of inversion where 1500 people died not quite being at the level that would be expected of an event like that for major characters, the feeling that all antagonists need to be like 100% bad). it’s the first time (other than a youtube comment here and there) i’ve seen someone be critical even a little of redacted’s work and i’m fascinated lol! i don’t agree with everything on your tumblr lol but but i’m wondering what you would you change about a couple of plots or characters that bother you rn (for me i would chill on the ‘every time alexis is mentioned it’s something immensely negative’ like she can’t be 1000% all bad can she?? there has to be a reason she’s still a major part of the clan and inversion would have taken out a character we actually know maybe or had xavier actually be a major or major supporting character for awhile first; not a writer tho so idk).

I use the term “crusades” from the history of this fandom to get riled up over something very inconsequential, but now that I check again, in my exhausted stupor I mistaked posts from one person for multiple people. I’ll apologize for that at least.

I’m surprised I’ve been having more people on here that don’t act like I want Redacted burned at the stake. I get mad at him sure, but really, it’s not that big of a deal. To be frank most of the things on my “sin list” aren’t things I’m that mad about, it’s more the culmination of them altogether. I’m just venting. Thanks for being so open to conversation. I expected more anon hate when I started posting here, but I digress.

Alright. Anon. You have done it. You have unleashed the floodgates. My third critiquing eye has opened and the planets have aligned. Hell as we know it is freezing over as I type. You have triggered a rant that is far too long and that I had to go back over to add commas in. I guarantee I missed something because that’s how long it went on. I didn’t have any ideas for specific future events in any storyline but I did go over the flaws in his writing, why they were flaws, and how to correct them in the future in a bullet-pointed list. You’re welcome.

Absolutely stop treating Alexis like she’s pure evil. As you’ve said, if it was truly that much of a problem, I don’t understand why the king would keep her around in the first place. The way Sam described his turning also gave me no indication that she turned him out of malice as opposed to concern. She doesn’t need to become a major character, but she needs to stop being brought up as if she’s Adam.

(I’m reading over this response and I want to add that from a character’s point of view of their own trauma, yes, they might 100% villainize and hate whoever caused that trauma. There’s no need for someone to forgive whoever traumatized them that badly, but there’s also a possibility to show a character’s maturity or growth by having them come to an understanding about why someone took the actions against them that they did. For example, I hate the people in my life who have abused me in the past, but I also understand that they were abused themselves, or I was just a person readily available to lash out against. It doesn’t mean I forgive them, the effects of my trauma have been healed, or that their actions were okay. It means I understand that they are people struggling through their own lives like I am. This is a very difficult conclusion to reach but is a remarkable sign of maturity. I’m in no way perfect either and I struggle reaching that point just like anyone else. Just look at my blog, I clearly have anger issues.)

As for other villains, a simple way to portray grey evils is to give them aspects that may be otherwise seen as “good.” They don’t have to be saints, but they may have specific biases you wouldn’t expect of someone bad. To pull up a possible idea for Quinn, perhaps something traumatic happened to him that left him on the streets and he began his nomadic lifestyle in order to help others who also were/feel ostracized from their families. He began helping strays or getting homeless people to shelters and picked up people along the way to help him. That doesn’t sound very “evil” does it? Then we could either have him on a “went mad with power” route, or we could say that the friend of Darlin’s that he killed violated a very personal rule or idea to him, and it resulted in that friend’s death. What was the violated rule or idea? Was it severe enough to justify that friend’s death? This could be as severe as killing someone or being framed for it versus maybe turning their back on a person in need. Was the friend’s death an accident and Quinn ran away without explaining himself, or Darlin’ won’t allow him to?

If attacking Frederick and Bright Eyes was still canon, that alone could be considered a grey area depending on how you go about it. Aside from his trespassing, vampires are made to prey on humans. Is he considered evil for not drinking from them “politely” or is he simply being a vampire and feeding himself? Humans don’t exactly ask for consent when killing wild animals for food, so is what Quinn did much different? That’s a very blurry area that could be debated, and there’s no true “right” answer to it.

This is an example of making a villain “reasonable.” Another I can think of is Vega, who is a compelling character that overstepped his boundaries and twists truths into ugly realities. Demons are also meant to feed on humans, albeit in a different manner, but was it right of him to trap people in an endless cycle of torment for a food source? On the one hand this is resourceful, and on the other this doesn’t take into account his two victims as individuals. His idea is reasonable if you break it down, but the manner he goes about it could be considered going too far, especially as what is established in canon law, which is what makes him a villain. He’s not wrong, but he’s not right either.

As for his more “pure evil” villains, for the love of God, if the fandom doesn’t see a villainous character as pure evil, he doesn’t need to make them worse. Despite how loud a certain portion of the fandom is, it overall was still fairly divided over Kody’s situation. Making a realistic allegory to sexual assault is a very heavy undertaking, and I applaud his desire to want to handle it properly in reference of real life college atmospheres. However, that attempt still failed in the end since about half the fandom didn’t see it as severely as he attempted to make it. Instead of ending this storyline where it seemed to have properly needed to end, he chose to continue it and made Kody be antagonistic where he didn’t need to be in order to make him seem more like an “evil” character. This was not only unnecessary since we already had the Inversion taking place as our major conflict that could break into several smaller conflicts, but it also seemed like a desperate attempt to make up for something he failed to do previously. He should have simply left the plotline alone and forgiven himself for the mistake, learned from where he failed and where he succeeded, and taken that knowledge with him to the next storyline. This same thing goes for incorrectly portraying “good” characters too.

If Redacted decides to have another major event like the Inversion, he needs to remove a major character for it to be impactful. While I would say he should kill them off, he doesn’t necessarily have to if he’s worried about the fandom reaction. Ivan didn’t have to die for his storyline to end. The impact would be heavier if a character died, but he could still “fake” a death and reveal in an Aftershock equivalent that they lived, but there’s some circumstance removing them from the major storyline. I’m not exactly sure if 1500 people can be considered a large or small number since we don’t know how many people were in that situation. However, if it was a large amount, then that number is probably too low, if it was a small amount, then there’s little chance every single major character and listener left that event nearly unscathed.

I said in another post to stop with the “political messages” and I realized later that it wasn’t exactly what I meant to say. Again, venting, my bad. A better way to word it might be “let characters be flawed, make lasting mistakes, suffer consequences for them, and work towards improvement.” He did this more in the beginning, and I genuinely can’t tell you why he might have changed this without making assumptions. In recent history, Redacted has been including talks about consent where they shouldn’t be and immediately covering up any possible conflict between the characters and their listeners. The prime examples I can provide of this, or that made me the most peeved perhaps, are what I added in the list about Geordi and Vincent.

In Geordi’s case, it feels inappropriate to begin his storyline eliminating a potential conflict that would likely be very prevalent with the characters involved. Which for this portion is Geordi and Cutie who’s a telepath. Rather than showcasing the characters and their potential plotline, at least to me it felt like the highlight of his first video was this conversation about “consent” when reading his mind. I’m in no way saying that this is bad, and let me say this for anyone who may happen across this post, I am in no way saying that including discussions about consent or boundaries is a bad thing. It’s more the fact that it was inappropriately placed from a narrative perspective. Anyways, this could have been a building conflict between the two where Cutie kept reading his mind, and maybe even just a video or two down the line, then he comes to them about the consent talk. Redacted could possibly expand on this by having Cutie slip up or put them in situations where they must read Geordi’s thoughts in order to communicate with him when he may not be able to “consent” to it. That could open the door to a major conflict that is readily within reach of the characters and has had prior content to build up to it. In Vincent’s case, Redacted once again threw away an aspect of conflict with Lovely being turned, which was Vincent’s ability to invoke them and lie to them. The king’s ability to remove these being ridiculous aside, this is another situation that could be built on with Vincent learning to control his ability to invoke or simply trying not to lie to Lovely. He could have slipped up in a video where he tells a small lie and apologizes, then tells the full truth. This would have been a much better method of portraying Vincent as caring and trustworthy, and would have probably been more endearing for people to listen to Vincent trying to make Lovely comfortable until telling the truth becomes natural for him. Aside from a conflict where Vincent lies to Lovely about something major happening, such as Quinn hurting Sam or some other major event we may learn about later or through other characters, there’s also the possibility he uses his ability to invoke to save them. The king saved Vincent by forcing him to drink blood, and Vincent could be forced to save Lovely in a similar manner despite his guilt for doing so. It could be making Lovely drink to parallel the moment with Vincent, or it could be something else entirely. Something minor could be making Lovely move if they’re paralyzed in fear, something major could be forcing them to injure or kill someone in self-defense. In both Geordi’s and Vincent’s scenarios, these actions are by no means okay just because their breaking of “consent” or other promises helped someone. That doesn’t mean Cutie or Vincent are villains for taking those actions, they were navigating a situation in a way they best knew how and it got them out of it alive. I’m no expert, but this is how characters, in this case the “good” ones, are generally portrayed as grey. They can still be considered “good” while saving the day in a manner that could be considered “wrong.” Despite my complaints of it, I liken this to Avior’s current situation where he messed up by hiding Starlight’s memory loss from them and is trying his best to explain himself and indirectly promise to better himself from his mistake. (Depending on how Starlight approaches their questioning of him, there’s a 50/50 chance of them forgiving him realistically. If I were in their situation, I would at least need some time away from Avior to think things through, but I again digress.)

These talks of “consent” or being in the “right” have come to my attention specifically because of the inappropriate placement and the elimination of conflict as if to play it safe. I find it difficult to believe that every single vampire in existence has been turned with consent, and delving deeper into that concept opens up a lot of very uncomfortable realities as a result. It’s ludicrous that vampires are somehow absolved of fault by asking a person on the verge of death if they’re willing to completely abandon their old lives in return for having to drink blood, live in the night, and live for eternity, expecting a response made in desperation of survival to be equivalent to consent given with a clear mind. In a way I can understand Sam’s reasoning for having this mindset, and in another I can understand that Lovely is already familiar with the concept of being turned and a vampire’s lifestyle, but these instances don’t come off as characters acting on past experiences or past knowledge. They come off as Redacted saying “consent is important.” Which is a good message, but these situations are far more complicated than simply “obtain consent before doing.”

Similarly, I don’t find Avior calling himself “manipulative” as something that his character would say. He didn’t even seem to act on those past events that happened before Starlight lost their memories to be considered “manipulative”, even from an outside perspective. At most he’s a liar that’s been hiding that fact from them, and that’s how I would expect this character to describe himself as. Maybe this is up for debate, but describing him “manipulating” Starlight as opposed to “lying” to them sounds more like an author’s words than a character that’s in that story, this idea being emphasized by other important but inappropriately placed messages Redacted has made. As for my bit about Frederick’s story being removed, I’ll refrain from talking about the reasoning I mentioned in the list since it’s more of a crude assumption.

Looking over everything again, I can add that if a character has a reliable support system, they shouldn’t be acting like their trauma from 20 years ago happened yesterday. At most, I’ve witnessed people with “resolved” trauma be mildly sensitive to discussing it, and the most sensitive on an “anniversary” of the cause of it. Both Vincent and Sam discussing their trauma sound as if they’ve been alone with no reliable person to help them work through their thoughts and emotions on those events, which makes the king and his clan sound distant and unavailable. The king’s interactions with Vincent as a reliable and supportive mentor, and Vincent and Sam's bond like brothers, feel completely forced when you take into account their reactions to those past events. These topics would undoubtedly have come up at some point and have been talked about with other characters, which would lighten the reaction they would have presently. This is probably the result of certain characters only being added in at a later time, and simply not enough forethought put into how the relationships between these two characters and “background” characters affect how they react to certain past events. In short, a lack of worldbuilding. This is still something Redacted could keep in mind for the future though.

For the last point I believe is a major aspect of Redacted’s to improve, here’s my thoughts on Darlin’s story. It boils down to the fact that Darlin’ in their story is constantly chastised and has their agency removed from them. Them hunting down Quinn’s scent is revealed to be a “blood bond” outside of their control. Sam chastised them for acting on their own and getting hurt as a result, and proceeded to chastise them for not having any food, or otherwise being bad at self-care. (This might be more of a personal opinion, but that particular video felt more to me like Sam was scolding a disobedient teenager than showing passive-aggressive affection for a potential love interest. You can imagine how uncomfortable I felt with the rest of those videos.) David and Sam’s follow-up conversation did not progress Darlin’ and Sam’s relationship. David then chastised Darlin’ for acting on their own and seemed to make it more about himself and the pack than about Darlin’, which again robs Darlin’ of their agency and puts their actions in a bad light. Another way I can put this is that there’s no middle ground conversation for Darlin’s behavior, it’s only them being punished for it like a misbehaving child and they don’t do it again. (Similar to how Bright Eyes was constantly put down with no middle ground, but their storyline was removed before their conflict could be expanded on.) There are no opportunities for Darlin’ to look powerful or independent that aren’t put down by other characters, which renders them being portrayed as horribly incompetent instead.

From a writing standpoint and not an emotional one, this plotline is a train wreck. I would say it’s up to par with other ASMR videos, which render listeners incredibly stupid and lacking any sort of agency, but I expect more from Redacted given every other listener he’s created. While not entirely in control, they still have a good amount of control over their narratives, which makes them more solid as individual characters. The fact that the fandom still takes away the idea that Darlin’ is powerful I would chalk up to their fascination with the idea of the character, and the emotional “manipulation” of hearing the characters’ voices, which is a far different experience from analyzing the story writing itself. I will admit, Redacted is a fairly good voice actor.

As for all my other points, I would say those are more trial and error mistakes that could be fixed as he went along, or otherwise tie back into my points above. I will add that the fandom certainly puts a lot of words into Redacted’s mouth, and more often than not are those words entirely obscured. Trying to dig for the truth doesn’t help my frustration with him, especially as he continues to make very questionable writing choices, but it’s not his fault his fandom lacks the ability to critically engage with his content. It is his fault for encouraging it.

I will say at least, that regardless of my personal opinion of him as a person (that being, he doesn’t exactly come off as someone I would find pleasant to be around), he has a lot of potential as a writer. If anyone sends this his way out of malice against me, include this sort of tl;dr message: Redacted has written a lot of mediocre but fun moments and a lot of great ones too. He’s got the potential to be a fantastic writer, and he’s got great ideas that could be shaped into a very memorable world. However, he’s only hindering himself by cutting out conflicts, doubling down on portrayals of “good” and “evil” characters, and playing it safe seemingly out of fear that his writing would be taken the wrong way. I believe even the most visceral reactions outside my own have assumed the best intentions from him, and I think he needs to similarly forgive himself for his mistakes, learn from them, and continue on while still taking risks and trusting in his own vision. If he finds himself written into a corner or his portrayals go the wrong way, he needs to either work with what he’s made or try to conclude it the best he can and try again with another story. Using retcons and cure-alls will not help him grow as a writer, and writing only fluff will hamper the impact of any major events that come in the future, nor will the actions of characters in those events likely make any narrative sense.

On a more personal note, he doesn’t have to be so concerned about “torturing” his fans with plot. He should be well aware that his fans are sensitive to all of his content, and over-exaggerate a lot of their reactions whether out of being frankly ridiculous, or just generally having an excited outburst from their enjoyment. While I won’t tell him to not be careful with his content, he can absolutely write impactful stories with gritty conflicts without being grim and dark all the time. Just look at the roots of his channel. There is a way to satisfy both people who want an actual plot and people who want a comfortable set of videos to relax to. However, he has to build up to those stories for that impact to be real. I’d say that he does drop bits of lore in his videos, and has done bits of foreshadowing here and there, and that’s just a skill that needs to be worked on to be perfected. That being said, he needs to stop expecting perfection from himself every time.

Redacted. If you won’t take it from the people who worship the ground you walk on, then take it from the crankiest person in this fandom: you do not need to be perfect. I’m not mad that he fails, I’m mad that he’s continuing to fail and sabotaging his own efforts. If he’s that concerned, then he should find people to critique his writing. Not people close to him or anyone from the fandom either, as that’s basically recruiting yes-men which, politely, he does not need. If he keeps trying to walk on eggshells, he will attract an audience that requires and expects that from him constantly, and no one can withstand the immense pressure that places on them forever.

This has gone on far too long. I’ve been writing this post too long and I probably missed some things too. As you can see, there’s a lot I’ve been wanting to say, and I just want to personally sit down with Mr. Redacted and hand him a mug that says “World’s Okayest Writer” and maybe on the back it says “for now.” Anyways. I’m done. If you need me to elaborate or actually talk about future events, anons are open. I’ll try my best to be civilized. Goodbye.