#when i tell you her performance from this perspective was literally all i wanted from this show...

[countdogulous]

All of the GIFs I made of the new BOJD that Emily posted SO FAR because this run has DONE IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE TO ME (AFFECTIONATE)

[leieatsmen]

📽️ YOU ARE THE DIRECTOR

you’re literally the director, producer, muse, screenwriter and cast of your dream life, your muse is who you want to be, the screenwriter does all the work behind the scenes and the script and basically everything that goes into making the movie the movie.

what you put into your screenplay (whether it’s aff tapes, living in the end, embodying your dream life or doing sats) everything you put into your screenplay dictates the outcome of your movie (your dream life)

you literally need to be the best method actor in the world and feel your dream life so it can harden into your dream reality. when someone is preparing for a role reading the script doesn’t get them far they need to transform into that character so they can perform to the best of their abilities

make your own rules, how are other people going to tell you what to do like hello?? the law is about you and literally nobody else this is your movie who cares if you wanna do whatever you want if you think doing methods are beneficial go for it at the end of the day it’s your life and you have the power in your hands. we all want an award winning life full of success, love and happiness and it is coming!! congratulations in advance

you find manifesting difficult because you make it difficult for yourself, you complicate it for yourself by over-consuming and fixating on methods that’s why you feel stagnant!! affirm and persistence goes a long way i promise it seems like people throw around this term all the time but it’s literally true that’s what makes loa easy

”your desired state already exists but is excluded from view. an assumption brings it into sight by changing your perspective.” - neville goddard

— ༊ xtra hehe i hope this analogy makes sense at the end of the day this is your life and your creation you are in control and it is finished you have your dream life you are the director of your own life and destiny ⁺ this is literally sats but i loveeee affirming and making my own short films in my head knowing that when i wake up i will live in that moment

— ༊ i hope you find this useful!! i’ve been crazy consistent lately even im scaring myself (@etherealkissed88 definitely has some of my favorite loa content!! you should definitely follow her) that’s pretty much all i have to say have a good day/afternoon or night and good luck on your journey because it’s already done

[blahblahblees]

Hey there!!!

This is my first time requesting on Tumblr and I am not sure if you're accepting requests or not so if you aren't feel free to ignore it.

Can you please write a short drabble on Rodrick and the reader being neighbours and the reader liking him but not telling him because he likes Heather. And then everything happening at rodrick's party.

And all the drama can go according to your imagination!

I am sorry for my bad English.

Have a good day/night/evening/afternoon.

Thank you.

ヽ｀、☁ヽ｀���── make you mine ミ rodrick heffley

✎ ·˚ ༘ ─── reader has a crush on rodrick but his eyes seemed to be locked on heather hills, but when greg takes notice of rodrick’s lyrics, his perspective begins to change.

wc: 1,333

movie!rodrick heffley x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), the use of y/n (your name)

tw: kissing (?)

a/n: your english is wonderful :)

HEATHER HILLS. The way her name rolled off of the tongue made her seethed in ways she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t because she was jealous of her, she knew that Heather Hills was gorgeous, but she (herself) was also just as beautiful. She liked her hair, she liked her body, she liked her style, and she liked Rodrick Heffley.

But his eyes seemed to be locked on Heather Hills. He always talked about her long blonde hair and how her outfits just perfectly fit her. It was Heather Hills this and Heather Hills that… but she let him go on about her.

It was an awful thing to do to herself, but here she was, once again, sitting with him in his dining room as he explained his plan to her.

His band, Löded Diper, had somehow convinced Heather to perform at her birthday party. She didn't know how they convinced her to let them play or even why for that matter, but it was good enough for Rodrick.

Her eyes watched as Rodrick scribbled down songs for them to potentially play at her party along with some newer lyrics that would "tell her how much he loved her", which she didn't quite understand. Rodrick hadn't really known Heather for long, quite literally meeting her at school when he was picking up Greg.

"... So, what do you think?"

She looked up from Rodrick's notebook and towards him. She was so in her own mind that she hadn't realized that he'd been speaking to her.

"I'm sorry." She muttered. "What did you say?"

"I asked if the hook should be changed so it fits for the party..." He answered. "Are you listening?"

"Yeah... yeah." She answered, sitting upright in her seat. "Sorry." She apologized once more and quickly gathered her belongings.

"What's wrong?" Rodrick asked, his brows furrowed by her sudden movements. "Where are you going?"

"I should head home." She said. "My mom is expecting me soon and I have to help her with dinner tonight."

Rodrick nodded, slowly standing up and following the girl to the front door. "I'll see you at Heather's party tomorrow, right?"

She closed her eyes for a moment before turning, her hand resting on the doorknob as she looked at him. She really didn't want to go to Heather's party and had planned on it, in fact, she was pretty sure it was an invite-only party and she hadn't gotten an invitation from the girl.

But she was pretty sure that Rodrick was going to find a way for her to get inside, invite or not.

So, she took in a small breath and nodded. "See you there."

With that, she quickly shut the door behind her and headed towards her car, and sped out of the Heffley driveway.

"I can't believe some of the stuff you write in here."

Rodrick quickly turned at the sound of the voice. It was Greg. He was standing at the dining room table with his eyes locked on Rodrick's songbook.

"Is this what being in love is like for you?" Greg asked. "If so, she just went out the door without a kiss goodbye."

Rodrick quickly marched over towards him and grabbed the book before he quickly hit Greg with it. "What are you talking about, dork?"

Greg muttered something under his breath, rubbing his arm in the process. "That stuff... that stuff you call music. That's about Y/N, isn't it?"

"What?" Rodrick scoffed. "No. This is for Heather's birthday tomorrow."

"You're going to sing a love song to another girl at Heather's birthday party?" Greg chuckled. "Are you crazy?"

"You're going to be crazy dead if you don't shut up." Rodrick barked and held his book in the air once more, prepared to hit Greg with it, but the younger boy quickly ran off before anything else could happen.

Rodrick heavily sighed and sat back down at the table. He flipped his book open and tapped back and forth against the table as he went over the lyrics once more, just to make sure everything was perfect for...

But the more he looked at his lyrics, the more and more that he imagined her… he only saw her.

With a heavier sigh, he shut his songbook and slumped down into his seat, rubbing his hands over his face before stopping halfway and sitting up quickly.

He knew what he had to do.

HEATHER’S PARTY was in full swing.

People had been partying for quite some time before she arrived. She obviously wasn’t going to upstage Heather, she didn’t think that was possible with how outlandish Heather’s party had been, but still, she chose to dress up for the party and stay until Rodrick’s band called it for the night, which may take hours at the rate this party was going.

But as soon as Rodrick set eyes on her, he sat his guitar down and told his band to just go with the flow until he got back.

He took in a deep breath, and gently shook his hands to bring himself some comfort. He titled his head side to side before finally reaching her side by the punch bowl.

“You made it.” Rodrick smiled.

She turned at the sound of his voice and nodded, taking a small sip from her drink. “Yeah, of course.” She smiled. “Couldn’t miss the best band play their biggest gig.”

Rodrick smiled at her words, whether or not she meant what she said didn’t matter. She said them to make him feel good, to bring him comfort over the fact that he was about to tell Heather Hills that he liked her.

Or so she thought.

“Did I miss your love bomb to Heather?” She asked.

And she really hoped she had.

“Uh, not quite, no.”

She furrowed her brows at his response. “Everything okay?”

Rodrick's heart was racing as he looked at her. He knew he needed to tell her how he felt; he just didn't know how. But as he looked into her eyes, he found himself lost for words. All he wanted to do was kiss her.

Without warning, he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. It was a soft, gentle kiss, but it was filled with all the emotion he had been trying to hide from her.

When they pulled apart, he could see the surprise in her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quickly.

She blinked. “You’re- You’re sorry? What- What-“ She stammered, her face growing red as she flustered her words. “What about Heather?”

“I don’t think- It was never Heather was into.” He said. “I mean, yeah, she’s hot, but she doesn’t make me feel the way I do when I’m with you. All those songs I was writing were never about her.”

As Rodrick spoke, she could feel her heart racing. Did he really just say what she thought he said? Could it be possible that he liked her as much as she liked him?

"Really?" she asked, her voice soft.

He nodded. "Really.”

Without hesitation, she leaned in and captured his lips with her own. It was a deep, passionate kiss, filled with all the emotions they had been holding back for so long. Her body melted into his as their lips moved in perfect harmony, each kiss taking them deeper and deeper into the moment.

When they finally pulled away, they were left breathless and dizzy with desire. She looked up at him with a shy smile, her heart beating like a drum in her chest.

"I've loved you for so long," she said softly.

"I know," he replied, cupping her face in his hands. "I've loved you too, but I didn't have the courage to tell you until now."

She leaned into him, her head resting against his chest. "I'm so glad you did," she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

This would be the only time that Rodrick would be thankful of Greg.

— lucy has something to say !!

i think i’m gonna start using you and yours again lol

but regardless, my request are opened! check out my rules and such before requesting and check out my masterlist to see who i write for!

[doll-elvis]

PRISCILLA (2023)

~ my thoughts as an elvis fan

(credit to @urpinkstargirl for the photo)

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD:

so I saw it last night and I’ve been stewing on it ever since as I wanted to be 100% sure in myself before saying this publicly

**brace yourselves**

After just one viewing… I feel confident in saying that I preferred this film over “Elvis” 2022 🤧. It was just so immersive and so deeply intimate that I walked away from the theater feeling like I had just lived a life with Elvis, and experienced all the ugly and wonderful things that came with it

I am seeing it again tonight and possibly tomorrow just to recapture that feeling (which made me cry… three times…)

And although I’m not the biggest fan of Sofia Coppola, there is simply no denying that she has perfected showing “girlhood” in film, and making the most unique experiences, like being Marie Antoinette and being Priscilla Presley, somehow universal to everybody. I haven’t felt being “14” since I was 14, which was a whole 5 years ago, but WHEW… I most definitely felt 14 again when watching Priscilla navigate life in Germany

Also- we all saw how Austin Butler was completely cheated out of an Oscar and so I’m begging that we do not do that again. Give the Oscar to Cailee Spaeny (who played Priscilla) right now 😤 There are no words besides “immaculate” to describe her performance. Her future is so bright as an actress, I just cannot wait to follow her career + she just seems like the sweetest person ever??

And I know it might seem insane to say that I preferred “Priscilla” over “Elvis” and some of y’all might crucify me for that take but my preference solely comes down to the fact that I appreciate Priscilla’s perspective much more so than the Colonel’s, who to me, has always been the least interesting aspect of Elvis’ story

My biggest gripe with having the Colonel narrative/tell Elvis’ life in the 2022 film is the fact that it made the film feel rather impersonal to Elvis as I don’t think the script or the storytelling ever fully allowed for Austin Butler to explore what he was like beyond the stage

And personally speaking, I have a much deeper love for Elvis the person as opposed to Elvis the performer, and I think that “Priscilla” showed the human side of him far more than “Elvis” ever did (like y’all we actually get to hear and see him reading his philosophy books in this!!!)

But before I get into what was actually depicted in film, and all my praises, I thought I would briefly state what I thought could have been done better. Don’t get me wrong, this movie was beyond amazing, however, it was definitely not without its’ faults:

1. If you have seen a lot of reviewers talk negatively about the pacing in this film- just know that they are unfortunately, completely right in that assessment. The whole timeline of Germany felt literally five minutes long, and the 70s also, felt maybe 10 minutes long which just made both the beginning and end feel rather rushed. Also there were at least 5 scenes that just faded to black before going onto the next one, and some very abrupt cuts in scenes which felt a bit awkward

2. Because this is a biopic, and because it’s based on a real life, there is no climax like you would be accustomed to normally in a film and so I think that the average viewer, like someone who may not really care about Priscilla or Elvis, will probably walk away from the film feeling unsatisfied- possibly bored. I saw it with my mom and my sister, and my mom was asleep in like 45 minutes 😭. The movie definitely got repetitive at some points but I acknowledge the fact that life is repetitive, especially for Priscilla in the 60s while Elvis was off making movies

3. While Priscilla (played by Cailee Spaeny) aged realistically and seamlessly, Elvis (played by Jacob Elordi) was essentially the same person (physically) for 95% percent of the film. For some reason, his hair was already dyed black in the Germany scenes, although we know it was brown at that time, and so there was no real transformation for him until Lisa Marie is born. The height of the actor was definitely jarring at first but eventually I got used to it…however…I damn near busted out laughing when they showed him in the Comeback special outfit 💀 His performance was nothing but incredible (ESPECIALLY THE VOICE) and so I learned to get over the physical disparities rather quickly

4. The ending of this film, particularly the song, was overwhelmingly sad and impactful but I was really disappointed that we didn’t get to see Priscilla’s and Elvis’ relationship after the divorce. This film ends with Priscilla leaving Graceland, starting her “new life”, which didn’t make much sense to me considering this movie was adapted from her book, which very much explores that part of her life, especially with Elvis

I would have really love to seen moments like this from Priscilla’s perspective ⬇️

excerpt from “Priscilla, Elvis and me” (avoid this book)

5. NO CIRCLE G RANCH!!! It is borderline criminal to make a film about Priscilla and Elvis and to not include their time spent at Circle G ranch ** which Priscilla has always said were their happiest times together **. I assume that this was likely an issue because of the budget and the fact that they only had 30 days to film but god… I would have really appreciated some of the domestic bliss that Priscilla and Elvis shared while living in the trailer on the ranch. There were many happy moments/sequences (y’all are going to die when you see the rollerblading/go cart scenes) in this movie, but I think their gradual separation/withdrawal from one another (post marriage) would have hit harder if we saw how happy they were together during their ranch phase

6. For those who have read “Elvis and Me”, we all know about the famed LSD scene that takes place and unfortunately, Coppola heavily missed the mark on it. We don’t see Lamar Fike making out with a tree, we don’t see Jerry Schilling in a closet- instead we see Priscilla and Elvis just kind of rolling around, laughing amongst themselves while the room around them turns different colors

There were definitely many key moments/stories like that missing from the film, and I honestly wish that the movie was an hour longer so that we could have seen the book more fully fleshed out

Lastly, here’s just a general synopsis of the scenes in Germany… I was going to do the whole movie but I don’t have the stamina to type it all out 😭. If y’all want to know something specific please feel free to comment below and I will let you know <3!!

After the beginning credits are shown, the film starts with Currie Grant (who was renamed as Terry West) approaching Priscilla in a diner, inviting her to a party at Elvis’ house. After talking with her parents and assuring them that Priscilla will be looked after by him and his wife, it cuts to her in the back of a car, on her way to meet Elvis. The scene is exactly like how it is in the book, Elvis asks her how old she is, he remarks that she is “just a baby” and so on- Elvis then plays “a Whole lotta shakin” at the piano and that is one of three musical performances we see from him

Priscilla is then re-invited by Currie aka Terry via Elvis to comeback to the house again. Elvis invites Priscilla up to his room, she looks around and sees letters from Anita Wood, and a poster of Bridgette Bardot just like in the book. After Elvis talks about Gladys and how he is still reeling over her death, and how lonely he has felt since then, they share their first kiss to the song “Crimson and Clovers”

There are some scenes of Priscilla at school and some scenes of her sort of convincing her parents to let her continue to see Elvis. And they do agree, but just like in the book, they want to meet him first. Elvis is questioned by Priscilla’s father on why he wants to be with her to which Elvis replies that she is very mature for her age and that he likes talking to her since she is from home aka the United States. He then assures Priscilla’s father that she will be taken care of. After that we see them going to the movies where Elvis expresses how much he wants to be a serious actor, and then they share another kiss on the car ride home. It then cuts to Christmas time where we see Elvis giving Priscilla a watch and then BOOM- Elvis and her are on the way to the airport where they say their final goodbyes as he leaves for the United States

The film really does follow closely to the book (at least from 59’ when they meet to 69’- again the 70s were really rushed) and so I really recommended to read that prior to watching the movie

As for the more sensitive scenes-

There is no explicit sex, no graphic nudity, and no scene where Elvis forces himself upon Priscilla. He does say “this is how a real man makes love to his woman” but all he does is kiss her before she pushes him off. There is a rather long “polaroid-taking” sequence where it shows all the outfits that Elvis would Priscilla dress up in but other than that, we only see Elvis and Priscilla make out

And it did show when Elvis accidentally hit Priscilla in the eye during the pillow fight scene in her book, along with the scene of him throwing a chair in her general direction after she expressed she didn’t like a demo of one his songs, and the scene where he grabs all her clothes from the closet and tells her that she should go visit her parents. I don’t think that the scenes made Elvis look abusive: Coppola was surprisingly nuanced in showing that he had reasons for his sometimes bad temperament i.e the pills he took along with the fact that he was frustrated with his film career

It also shows Elvis’ infidelities but really only through movie magazines that Priscilla sees. So it’s never explicitly shown, I would say it’s more hinted at than anything

And there are two scenes of Priscilla with Mike Stone but again, nothing that is explicitly shown, it’s just hinted at

Finally, to finish this up, this is what I wrote on my Instagram account which I very much stand by ⬇️

Just please give this movie a chance y’all, it was so beautiful and so sensitively done… I cannot wait to watch it again <3

[youryurigoddess]

The stuff dreams are made of, or the interesting case of Anthony J. Crowley

We’ve talked a bit about Crowley’s trauma and his way of reclaiming the narrative in the past, but it’s time for some deep dive into the story he’s trying to tell. A story that meanders through the fabric of time and space, slightly changing with the human fashion trends, but slowly and surely bringing the demon closer to a certain angel like the red thread of fate.

1793

Some stories start in a garden, some even Before the Beginning, but this one starts with an Arrangement. Or, to be precise, a little bit after that.

See, most of the iterations of Crowley we saw throughout the history until then didn’t delve too deep into human cultural tropes. If anything, they were the inspirations behind more or less prominent biblical figures, maybe some nameless villains matching his demonic provenance and role assigned to him by his employers.

But in the hustle and bustle of the revolutionary Paris, Crowley emerges as a prototype of the Scarlet Pimpernel — a chivalrous Englishman who rescues aristocrats before they are sent to the guillotine. Stan Lee famously called him “the first character who could be called a superhero”.

Sir Percy Blakeney, the main character of the novel and the West End play under the same title, leads a double life. Appearing as nothing more than a wealthy fop, in reality he’s a formidable swordsman, a quick-thinking master of disguise and an escape artist. Even his own wife, Marguerite, has no idea.

Unfortunately Marguerite is being blackmailed with her brother’s life to find and expose the wanted Pimpernel. She regrets betraying her husband the moment she's forced to do it and spends the rest of the plot working to save him. She does, they make up, and return together to England.

In Aziraphale and Crowley’s case there was just a short stop for crêpes. But what seems to be an inspiration of a specific scene might as well come up later in the wider perspective of the show, so keep in mind those fragments of the musical’s libretto:

We all are caught in the middle

of one long treacherous riddle.

Can I trust you?

Should you trust me too?...

We shamble on through this hell

taking on more secrets to sell

'til there comes a day

when we sell our souls away.

We seek him here, we seek him there,

Those Frenchies seek him everywhere!

Is he in heaven? Is he in hell?

Where is that damn elusive Pimpernel!

1941

The London Blitz is when we see a full-fledged iteration of the superhero Crowley performing dashing and heroic deeds under the literal cover of darkness and air bomb smoke. In a bespoke double-breasted suit and a fedora — still free from the unfortunate modern connotations from the internet culture — he’s clearly channeling Humphrey Bogart as a private investigator Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon (1941) now.

It all starts with a woman and a simple plan gone wrong: Spade’s partner is shot dead, just like the man he was supposed to be tailing upon the request of a mysterious Miss Wonderly. And when a very soft-looking, sweet-scented man named Joel Cairo appears in his office willing to pay a hefty price for a "black figure of a bird", Spade starts not only a new job, but also his own quest for truth.

On the surface, The Maltese Falcon ends happily: the killer gets caught, and the hero winds up with the Falcon. But Spade's victory is completely hollow. The Falcon itself, originally meant as a symbol of loyalty, transforms into a symbol of a corrupting, futile, and self-destructive greed that makes people betray their own loyalties.

The treasure is just a worthless forgery and he’s fallen in love with the criminal — one of the first femmes fatales on screen. Despite his feelings for her and a kiss, Spade gives her up and submits the statuette as evidence, describing it as "the stuff that dreams are made of".

Remember the eagle lectern? The eagle was believed to be flying highest in the sky and therefore closest to heaven, symbolizing the carrying of the word of God to the four corners of the world. Aziraphale in the 1941 church scene is the closest to Heaven we’ve seen him on Earth. Just look at him: dressed in a smart, well-fitted coat with peaked lapels, symbolizing his Heavenly allegiance, and doing good this time not as a work assignment, but of his own accord. Being the closest to Heaven means the furthest and most unattainable for a demon like Crowley.

The Maltese Falcon is a metaphor for unattainability — things out of reach to desire and fight for, although never truly possess. It’s “the stuff that dreams are made of”. But Crowley secured the original — made of gold and encrusted with jewels, but hiding its real value under black enamel — eerily reminiscent of the demon himself and the unending kindness behind his inappropriately tight black clothing.

Quoting Michael Ralph — the production mastermind behind Good Omens — from the S01E04 “Saturday Morning Funtime” DVD commentary, “We wanted to tip our hat to the Maltese Falcon as being a precious object that no-one thought really exists but it does”. So we can safely assume that Crowley can and will achieve his dream in the future.

1967

Do you know what else happens in 1941 in Scotland? Ian Fleming, a British naval intelligence agent, meets with the famous occultist Aleister Crowley and asks him to lead the interrogation of newly imprisoned Rudolf Hess — a leading member of the Nazi Party in Nazi Germany appointed Deputy Führer — given the two men’s shared enthusiasm for the occult.

This meeting has a significant impact on Fleming’s work as a writer; Aleister Crowley becomes the inspiration for his first villain Le Chiffre and creates a blueprint for most of the James Bond’s franchise ever since 1953, the publication date of the novel Casino Royale.

Meanwhile our Anthony J. Crowley believes in himself not being the villain he’s usually and sometimes forcefully painted as, but a superhero in disguise. The character of James Bond in particular inspires him so much that he buys petrol to get the limited You Only Live Twice (1967) window decals for his Bentley, dons his own tactical turtleneck, and sets off to organize a heist like no other. Sean Connery style.

Like a typical superhero, Crowley’s once again both saved and betrayed by his love interest. Aziraphale leaves him with a thermos of Holy Water, a faint smile, and a hope that they’ll soon match their speeds to meet halfway at the Ritz. The cancelled heist is not an ending, but a promise of a new beginning. And the fact that UK decriminalizes homosexual acts in the very same year is more than telling in this regard.

2019

An exceptional situation calls for exceptional solutions, and what’s more important than the impending Apocalypse? Demon Crowley does his best to put the arsenal of his 20th century film inspirations to good use.

"Ask yourself, do you feel lucky?" Crowley drawls, clearly imitating (although slightly misquoting) the titular Dirty Harry (1971). He’s hoping to be menacing and making the point of being the one on the right side of the law and history.

Some situations require more than quoting action heroes is not everything though. He knows what to do:

A jeep was heading purposefully towards the gate, and it looked as though it was crowded with people who were about to shout questions and fire guns and not worry about which order they did this in.

[Crowley] brightened up. This was more what you might call his area of competence.

He took his hands out of his pockets and he raised them like Bruce Lee and then he smiled like Lee Van Cleef.

'Ah,' he said, 'here comes transport.'

When in doubt, Crowley acts. He transforms into a combination of a stoic martial arts phenomenon and a sardonic, menacing character. His smile alone — even on Aziraphale’s angelic face, as seen in one of the final cut scenes — seems to be enough to ward off evil spirits, angels, and humans alike.

But we all know that even as breathtaking performances as those can’t protect anyone from the cogs of the Heavenly machine and its plans.

2023

No wonder that Crowley’s tactical turtleneck comes back in style after mere four years of retirement with a self-introduction “Former Demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?”. Something has changed during this time; he’s more mature now, not playing pretend by hiding behind the usual veneer of sarcasm and movie quotes anymore. Finally comfortable with the fact that this is his own story and there’s no need to become anyone else than himself.

The bookshop fire and the Heavenly trial still seem to haunt the demon in a way that makes him realize what all humans know: that every hero is his own biggest enemy. His ultimate dream might effortlessly change into his greatest nightmare any moment now, and the only thing he can do about it is hover in a two-minute distance from the epicenter of his feelings. But Crowley has no time to work on it when a new mission appears, to protect his angel from Gabriel and the combined powers of Heaven and Hell. Even if this — rather ostentatiously — is the last thing he wants to think about at the moment.

Crowley tries to plan ahead, while his story slowly warps into a different genre due to Aziraphale’s interruptions. He eventually changes back into his usual Henley shirt after agreeing to swap places and guarding the bookshop while the angel is off to Edinburgh, collecting more clues. Did he finish his personal quest off-screen? Did he just give up on it in the whirlwind of matchmaking shenanigans? Remains to be seen.

In the S2 finale our master of disguise in yet another turtleneck proves that he can successfully infiltrate even the universe’s back office. We don’t know where he drives off in the end, but one thing is certain — he’s got a plan. And a world (and his dream) to save, like a superhero he is.

[nightfurynova1217]

Crazy revelation I just had about Soichiro's death. This occurred to me while writing a Beyond Birthday fic, and specifically having to keep in mind that death does not surprise him. Sure, he doesn't know how it'll happen, but he always knows when.

It's glossed over if not outright cut from the anime, but it's addressed in a blink-and-ya-miss-it way in the manga, that Soichiro was planning to commit suicide after the raid to Mello's base (for those who were unaware of that fact, it's because he believes his involvement in the case is putting his family in danger, as evidenced by Sayu being kidnapped). The reason he doesn't is obviously because he dies before then, because he cut his time in half after making the eye deal with Ryuk, and instead dies via gunshot wounds and the explosion. Soichiro's life was not taken by a death note, his lifespan was not completely cut short "before his time". My point is, his timer ran out.

MISA. HAS. THE. EYES.

Whether or not she would have figured out the exact formula for how long each tick is, or if she would have calculated the exact date and time, she would have at least seen that Soichiro didn't have much time left compared to everyone else. And she ABSOLUTELY would have told Light. A shinigami would never tell a human how much time they have left, or their loved ones, but there's no rule saying a human with the eyes can't. Even if she never calculates the exact time, she'd notice how much it's ticking down per day and could gauge about how much longer he'd have left. If you think she wouldn't, I'd like to point out that this is her future father-in-law. She would have made the effort. Even if for no other reason than to tell her long-term lover and boyfriend (whom she has lived with for nearly five years now, is her literal partner-in-crime, mastermind behind the schemes, and friggin Lord Kira himself), that his father is going to die in roughly X amount of time. Misa lost both her parents. She knows that pain. She would absolutely want to spare Light from it. She can't save him from it completely, she can't prevent Soichiro's death, but she can brace him for it.

All that now to say, it makes me wonder. Did Light know he was more-or-less sending his father to his death on that mission to raid Mello's base and get the death note back? What we see in both the anime and manga, it seems to suggest that he didn't know and it took him completely by surprise. But logically... he would have at least had an idea that it would be soon.

Now with that lens, while in the hospital and his dad is literally dying, it makes his internal dialogue about "how would a normal person react to this" make a lot more sense than that he has to pretend to care that his dad is dying. It's much less a matter of, "Light is a psychopath and doesn't care about anything other than his goals". It's now more like "he knew his dad's death was coming and has already come to terms with it". That's why it's not fazing him. I will concede that he didn't know that this would be how, or again, he knew it'd be soon but not today, so there's that aspect to consider (I bring that up to say that I like to think Light didn't put on a performance when he started crying, I wanna believe that was legit and he was grieving). But I'm totally open for friendly, civil discussion here.

I rewatched and reread the scene in question and, from a meta standpoint, I'm sure that Ohba just forgot and didn't consider that Misa would know he'd die. But from a character standpoint, I think it shifts the perspective on the scene and adds some interesting nuance.

Thoughts?

[orionsangel86]

I was once again flicking through the Sandman comics and thinking about the changes made to the show (as I am pretty much always doing) and something that struck me as interesting is why they chose to swap out Tales in the Sand for Men of Good Fortune.

In the comics, The Sound of Her Wings is the last story in Preludes and Nocturns. Dream’s meeting with his sister Death closes out the first of the overarching storylines within the Sandman saga, and it ends with Dream finding some measure of peace after speaking with her, and finding joy in hearing the sound of wings.

This can be interpreted as the first bit of real foreshadowing of Dream’s desire to die. Anyone who has read the Kindly Ones knows how important The Sound Of Her Wings is as it is called back to heavily at the end.

In the comics, the next issue can be seen as a one off, but is included in The Doll’s House book. This issue is Tales in the Sand - the tragic love story of Dream and Nada.

Right after Tales in the Sand, we get to the Doll’s House, which begins the exact same way that episode 6 of The Sandman Netflix show ends - with Desire calling on Despair to begin their scheming over the existance of the vortex.

I found it very interesting how the show swapped out Tales in the Sand for Men of Good Fortune - a story which in the comics comes much later within The Doll’s House storyline.

On the one hand, it makes sense to move Men of Good Fortune outside of the Doll’s House story for pacing reasons. But by putting it where they did they have drastically changed the tone of the story in a few ways.

1. It changes the end of The Sound of Her Wings. Show!Dream doesn’t leave his sister to sit and find peace in the thought of death, instead he does the opposite, he immediately goes and seeks out the one person he knows who is quite literally the antithesis of death - someone who finds joy in living. It still ends the Preludes and Nocturns story with Dream finding some manner of peace and happiness, but not in the sound of wings. Instead, it’s in the reunion with his friend who loves life so much he refuses to die.

2. It takes the place of the only love story we are given for Dream at that point in the comics. The Sandman comics have a tendency to avoid revealling too much information about Dream too soon and up until this point in the comics, all we know about his love life is that he condemned a lover to hell 10,000 years ago, based on a very brief conversation in A Hope In Hell. Tales in the Sand is the expansion of that brief conversation, giving us at least one perspective of how the tragedy played out.

I am really curious about why they decided to leave it out of the show completely. Partly I think its because it isn’t exactly a flattering look at Dream as a character. Probably didn’t seem like good business sense to the people who wanted The Sandman to perform well to basically destroy your main characters likeability half way through the first season (imagine all the Twitter puriteens and anti types who would get on their high horses attacking Sandman fans and Neil Gaiman alike for daring to like a main character who comes across a little bit rapey in this particular story - among other horrific character flaws).

Also, Tales in the Sand generally fits better with the Season of Mists story arc overall, and I think we will get a much kinder and more forgiving version of this story in the show.

So instead of being introduced to the first of Dream’s lovers, we are introduced to Hob Gadling. Make of that what you will.

3. It makes the immediate cut to Desire at the start of The Doll’s House story all the more eyebrow raising. Part of the reason why I think Desire’s scenes follow on from Tales in the Sand is because Desire had a lot to do with Dream’s bad behaviour in that story, and what ultimately happened is partly their fault. It is brought up both in comic and show when Desire tells Despair that “Nada was a mistake” but in the show, this comment remains a mystery, whereas in the comic, it goes some way into explaining the horrific story we have just read.

In the show, instead it makes for absolutely beautiful subtext as they cut to Desire’s realm and the song Desire as Desire says “Attend sweet Sibling” whilst we have just watched Dream reunite with Hob and smile the first real smile he has had all season so far. For a split second on my first watch I legit thought Desire was talking to Dream at that point and encouraging him to hook up with Hob. It was a very confusing few seconds!

At the end of the day, I think the change to the order of these stories was a very good idea, even without the added level of shipping fodder it gives us Dreamling shippers. In changing the end to The Sound of Her Wings in the show, it removes the foreshadowing of Dream’s desire to die, which I’ll be honest, so far I can’t see at all in the show version of the story. Instead, we get a Dream who is happy for the first time after reuniting with his friend - who apparently waited an additional 33 years for him and built/refurbished a pub in that time.

I have a bazzillion more thoughts on the changes from comic to show on the Men of Good Fortune issue in particular, but that’s for another post. I just had to get my thoughts down as the more I read and re-read the comics, the more I feel like the show is considering a different direction, a more hopeful happy direction. But I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

[starbylers]

This is a response to the person who sent me an ask about their doubt last week, just hiding it below incase people don’t want to see that :)

For context this is an in-depth explanation of:

Why Mike’s monologue had to happen

Hi! And yeah of course I can try. I fully understand why the monologue is throwing you off and as someone who doesn’t believe Mike was consciously lying you’ve come to the right place lol. I explained a little more about why I think that in the tags here if you wanted to read more about that perspective. I’ll probably link to a few other posts in this aswell because it ties into a lot of stuff I’ve made Byler analyses about before.

So the thing you said about his arc being ‘does he love her or not?’ is what I think is causing the issue, because that isn’t Mike’s arc. You’re right in that that’s the question that is being posed to the audience at face value, but that’s not his character journey. I have a long post about this here but essentially, the core driving force of a character cannot be another person—Mike needs to, and does, have his own personal inner conflicts which the Byler perspective provides (pressure to perform being grown up which is made incredibly obvious to us in s3, and dealing with the tumultuous process of figuring out that he is not straight in s4—I personally don’t think he’s there yet though, I think the full realisation of why he’s been having all these problems with Will & El is still to come).

The perspective of ‘yes he does’ love her just because he said the words is the crux of the entire plot twist, because it’s the conclusion people inevitably come to when they don’t pay attention to the details. (I don’t mean this insultingly at all btw! The whole thing is very subtle and easy to misinterpret). And ST is all about details, something which has been told to us by the creators and is also obvious in their use of foreshadowing/hinting/referencing in all aspects of the show, not just Byler.

Mike’s arc didn’t finish a season early. This has even been told to us i.e. by David talking about how s5 will pay off big characters including Mike, and Finn himself saying Mike still has a ‘journey’ to complete, and also just the fact that we don’t have the final season means no-one’s arcs are complete because the story isn’t complete. The fact that a “love confession” occurred at the midpoint (s4/5 are basically intended as two halves of one story—post explaining this here) is what makes it extremely obvious that Mlvn is not the conclusion of this tale.

The monologue can probably be said to have many purposes, but here are the main ones to me:

It presents a solution that ultimately ends in disaster, and associates that disaster with Mike and El’s romance. The monologue is so, so important in showing that Mike and El’s love did not, could not save the day. That it wasn’t strong enough—further proof from the script here. It shows that El got what she thought she wanted, only to discover it wasn’t what she really needed. It may have helped save her but it didn’t help her achieve her goals (save Max, kill Vecna). Kind of a metaphor for their entire relationship lol. It’s also supposed to show that not even an ‘I love you’ can fix their issues—they literally don’t speak afterwards. I’m not sure El’s fully processed all this yet, but figuring it out is what’s going to drive her arc towards self-actualisation and allow her to win next season.

It furthers the miscommunication plot between Mike and Will. It’s an indisputable fact that Will’s lie influenced that monologue. (We can tell just by watching but it’s also in the script if we needed even more proof lol. Not to mention: the track that plays behind it is You’re The Heart. The episode is called The Piggyback. Will’s face is right over Mike’s shoulder when he says ‘I love you’—Will is integral to and inseparable from that confession). That is so important, and something we’re supposed to notice. The whole point of the monologue is who’s really behind it (aka who’s really behind the painting & words that drove Mike’s speech), because this sets the stage for the Byler confrontation next season. It’s literally the Benverly poem plot from IT, something we know the Duffers have taken inspiration from.

If Mike hadn’t gone through with it, there would be no movement forward in the story, we’d enter s5 with exactly the same plot we just watched in s4—Mike trying to say he loves his girlfriend for the literal third season in a row. It’s boring, it’s not good entertainment. Mike finally saying it (and yet there still being problems between them & it occurring under questionable circumstances) pushes development in the narrative, sets up new conflict for the next season. Or, if Mlvn had decided to break up because of Mike not saying it in s4, that would’ve led to Byler becoming painfully obvious and ruining the twist they’ve been setting up for literal seasons. Everyone knows Will loves Mike, and if Mlvn broke up in that same season the entire audience would see the ending of the show coming from a mile away. Remember, Byler is being written as a plot twist. It’s very likely tied up with the supernatural plot too.

The content of the monologue itself is supposed to demonstrate precisely why Mlvn are finished, why they don’t work, and should raise people’s eyebrows about the legitimacy of Mike’s “confession”. Like you said…he remembered her t-shirt lol. It’s impersonal, nothing about why he loves her or what he loves about her; he literally, proveably, lies in it and anyone can verify that by watching s1; and he makes comparisons to superheroes which is the exact opposite of what El needs (her whole issue is thinking she’s either the monster or the superhero, when what she really needs is to stop thinking in such a binary, and learn to be El the teenage girl, the sister, the daughter, the friend, the human being, and find her power in that).

And something else they purposefully do this season is give us examples of other love confessions to contrast and show how ingenuine Mike’s really is: Jancy & Will (not my original post! I just expanded on op’s point).

Now as I said before I don’t think Mike intentionally lied. My opinion is that he knows deep down something is not right with their relationship and that he doesn’t feel how he should, but after Will’s speech and encouragement he choses to believe that he can love her, that he can be what she needs (except it’s not what she needs, it’s what Will needs lol). So not lying, but the monologue is basically a desperate attempt to a) grasp at straightness and b) save her life. He’s in denial, and also terrified of her dying. Very bad combo.

So yeah there’s my reasoning :) what you were saying about the potential of a familial ‘I love you’ is true, yeah it could’ve ended the plot line. But that’s the kind of thing that should be a conclusion to the entire story, something that occurs right before victory not disaster. Because then what would the implication be? That El’s family’s love isn’t enough for her to save the world?

And the way they will explain the monologue is so simple. It’s Will. It’s Will’s feelings that inspired Mike. All that needs to happen is for Mike to realise that, and the audience will realise it along with him. Mike: I only said that because of how much Will loves me? Audience: Oh! So he doesn’t actually love her! It’s Will, Will is who he’s meant to be with! It’s a classic ‘the person who was right in front of them all along’ trope. Once people understand that, it basically makes truly romantic interpretations of the monologue invalid.

I can’t say exactly how the ending will play out—I expect we’ll see the cracks in Mlvn shatter rapidly as s5 progresses, maybe more arguing/demonstration of their incompatibility or El asking Mike to say it to her face and he still can’t, Mike and Will simultaneously getting closer and it becoming increasingly obvious that Mike is in love—but I’m choosing to trust they’ll do it justice. Mike’s monologue is just a key turning point in the larger story.

Also just one last thing, you said he seems sincere and I do agree but I think it’s because his fear in that moment is extremely real, and there are truths within his monologue i.e. that he doesn’t want to lose her etc. so that’s where it’s coming from in my opinion :)

[storiesofsvu]

Do you like Cragen as the sergeant better or Olivia?

That's kind of a tough one.. but here are my thoughts.

To preface: some of my opinions are PURELY based on the fact that we have sat and watched Olivia's career for 25 years. We've seen her as the rookie detective and make her way up. We've ONLY seen Cragen as the captain, so we don't know his history like we do LIv's.

Cragen was a *fantastic* captain IMO. He was the "dad" that the squad needed. He was relatively neutral when it came to conflict situations, knowing that cases needed to be solved/investigations run smoothly, efficient, and LEGALLY.

He always helped his team *and* helped the ADA. Alex was the daughter he never had, you can't tell me otherwise. He keeps gin(maybe vodka?) in his office and only ever offers it to her. THE MAN IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. so that alone says a lot. When Zapata comes after her, he signs his old revolver over to her and makes sure she knows how to use it. He wasn't as close with Casey, but in moments where her emotions were starting to show, he was the one to go comfort her/urge her back to the case.

He had a fantastic relationship with *all* of his detectives/squad and knew how to toe the fine line between personal relationships and being their boss.

Now, onto Olivia. It's been very different watching her grow. I can't fully remember when she moved up the ranks...she became the sarge around s15? maybe 16? she HAD to be liue by 17 cause thats when dodds shows up.

I think she's a decent commanding officer. But she has plenty of flaws when it comes to holding that title. And now, Cragen likely went through some similar struggles as he grew into the role, managing is hard (i would know..).

1st: she holds personal grudges and relationships above specific things. She's also rather rude and unwelcoming to a LOT of new people. That can trace back to her abandonment issues and Elliot leaving, she's a straight up cunt to amanda in s13 and pretty rude to nick at first (she also does nothing but fight with casey and alex in their later seasons.. seriously).

She ALWAYS has issues with the lawyers, as captain she should be smoothing out those bickering moments between her squad at the ada, but instead she's the one instigating and HOLDING that grudge with a stick up her ass. She hates most lawyers until/unless they're doing exactly what she wants. Like, it DOESNT matter if the lawyer is literally doing their job, or prosecuting a case in what should be the right manner, she still takes it out on them and she makes a VERY low blow a lot of the time. She takes EVERYTHING personal when it comes to them doing their job, she doesn't see eye to eye with them and she *refuses* to hear them out or even try to THINK about it from their perspective.

2nd: she doesnt treat her team equally or fairly imo. I know equality comes with proving your worth so like, teasing carisi when he first shows up is one thing, but shouldn't you want people to feel WELCOME in the place that you're in charge of?

similarly, she holds so many people on her team accountable for shit that she either did (and got ZERO repercussions for) in the past, or things like DEMANDING muncy go buy a blazer and smarten up her wardrobe meanwhile velasco's sitting there using an undone wrinkled button up as his blazer?? she's generally not very nice to her at all. not to mention OLIVIA was the one who poached muncy?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

okay that got away from me and in no way was this meant to turn into an Olivia Benson hate post because I DO like her, but it appears like her better as a detective? LOL.

i think she is fantastic with victims, with helping them, supporting them and making sure they get the closure and such that they need.

I also honestly like 1.0 Liv WAY better. 2.0 we got some good moments and banter and bestie relationship with Barba (we also got a LOT of fighting and not seeing eye to eye) but that was about it. Between the shitty writing, performance lacking and constant switch up of the team in like... s18-22... it just didn't end up working out well for her.

I DO think she's a good leader, but i think she has a lot of progress she could make. Take a look at Ayanna over at OC, or Kate over on OG (ugh i miss her already). you have to understand the politics of the job to be in that position and i just don't think she fully gets that? i dunno.

NOW IM RAMBLING AND ITS 4 AM AND IM SURE IM GONNA GET HATE FOR THIS LOL

hope it was worth it anon LOL

<3

[rosypenguins]

🖤Spiraling🖤

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Synopsis: The events of TMF, from Drew’s perspective.

A/N: This is both a fanfic and a character study. Also while I write this I wonder why so many people turn Drew into a soft boy when it’s literally so MUCH FUN writing him as a bitch. He’s not a good person, make the most of it. By the way I feel like several of Drew’s problems could’ve easily been solved if Jake just laid with him and held him and told him everything was going to be okay and he was loved.

Contains Swearing (as per usual)

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“You did what?!”

Drew could hardly believe what Jake was saying. He didn’t seriously go out of his way to join the Music Club of all things, did he? This- this had to be a joke.

Drew returned to his seat, his eyes fixated on Jake’s as he gave his excuse. The blonde’s voice was hesitant, his face tinted with a faint red hue.

He really wasn’t kidding… He really joined that little Freak Show… for Daisy, of all people.

Drew could feel a million questions flood his mind, but before he could ask any of them, he noticed Jake standing up, letting out an awkward laugh as he explained how he’d be late to music practice if he stayed any longer, and not a moment later, Jake had left the cafeteria.

Unbelievable…

*+*+*

Drew didn’t let himself think about it for very long. He kept himself distracted- no, focused. Focused on whatever task was at hand, whether it be school-work, home-work, or… whatever else, really.

But when Drew went to take a shower that evening, he couldn’t prevent the thoughts from returning.

After all, there was so much about Jake’s explanation that just didn’t add up.

Out of everything he could've done to confess his love to Daisy, why was this the conclusion he came to?

Why join the Music Club of all things? If all he wanted was to sing for Daisy, couldn’t he just do that privately? It’d be a hell of a lot more romantic, and it’d save him the embarrassment of performing with a bunch of freaks.

Not to mention that it’d be a public confession, too. If he got rejected, the whole school would find out in less than a week.

Why is he even going through all this trouble for a girl in the first place? Is it really all worth it?

He watched as the water ran down the drain, mind drifting further. He was only partially aware of his hand moving to turn the water a little warmer.

…And if he does go through with this, then… this wouldn’t be some dream anymore. He’d actually be doing something. He’d actually be going for Daisy.

Drew bit his lip. What if this somehow does work? What if he does end up confessing to her? What if she says yes? What if they start dating, where would that leave-

…Drew turned off the water. Any longer and he’d probably end up slamming his head against the wall.

He stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his torso as he forced himself to take a breath. God, why did he have to be so dramatic about everything?

Calm down. It’s not like this plan’ll actually work. Jake’ll find some excuse to avoid telling her like he always does, and…

This wasn’t helping. He could still feel his heart racing.

God, why do I even care about this? Not like I don’t have a girlfriend. What’s so bad about him getting one?

The first answer was immediately shoved to the back of my mind. The second was simply: I just don’t want anything to happen to him…

Drew took another deep breath. He really needed to get better at recognizing when he needed one.

He thought about Jake and Daisy together, smiling with their hands intertwined.

And the idea was so repulsive he wanted to slam his head into a wall again.

Another breath.

Stop. Jake’s not going to confess to Daisy. You’re getting all worked up over nothing.

Drew glanced towards the mirror slowly, and despite the fog obscuring the reflection, he could faintly make out his silhouette staring back at him. And Drew paused for a moment.

Jake isn’t confessing. He isn’t leaving. He’s still m-

Another pause.

…God, I sound so fucking gay. Quickly, Drew turned away from the mirror, leaving the bathroom and heading to his closet to change.

Once he’d thrown on a plain shirt and sweatpants, Drew crawled into bed, getting himself comfortable under the blankets before checking his phone one last time. One final distraction before setting it down beside him, drifting off into a light, yet peaceful sleep.

*+*+*

Drew’s thoughts were clearer the next morning. They were quieter. Easier to sort through.

And as he stood in front of his mirror, buttoning up his heather shirt, he quickly realized how… insane his thoughts had been the previous night. It was embarrassing just to think about.

In what world would Jake ever work up the courage to ask Daisy out? He asked himself. Knowing him, he’d probably just back out last minute.

And after his failed confession, Jake would leave the club, and everything would be back to normal.

Drew reached over to his dresser, grabbing his tie and adjusting it around his neck.

Hell, maybe this little… confession plan, or whatever has some advantages. Maybe Jake can dig up some dirt on those freaks. That’d make for some pretty good blackmail…

Drew lowered his arms, and glanced himself over, making sure he looked presentable. Once satisfied, Drew grabbed his school-bag, and made his way downstairs to leave for school.

But reality soon hit him when Jake ended up leaving about half-way during lunch to get to band practice. At the time, Drew shrugged it off, pulling out his phone and tuning out the rest of Henry and Liam’s conversation. He’d still be able to see Jake after school, anyway.

*+*+*

The days continued as usual, yet Drew still found himself missing Jake’s company. He tried to make up for it by finding more ways to talk to Jake during class, but… even that started to change.

The first time Drew noticed it was during Chemistry. They had a project to work on that day, and when Drew had turned to get Jake’s attention, he noticed him leaned across their shared desk, talking to-

Hailey? Seriously? Since when were they on speaking terms? Drew rolled his eyes.

“Are you gonna keep talking to your music girlfriend, or are you actually gonna help me out here?” He asked.

“Don’t call her that!” Jake snapped, but Drew didn’t miss the way Jake flushed at the nickname. Drew frowned.

“I wouldn’t have partnered up with you if I knew you’d just talk to her for the whole lesson. Help out, would you?”

The two resumed the project, but Drew couldn’t help but feel slightly… uneasy? He wasn’t sure how to describe it, but that whole interaction gave him a weird feeling in his chest.

Drew shrugged it off. Or at least… he tried to, but it still lurked in the back of his mind.

But there was something else he had to focus on for now. He had a date with Zoey that evening. He noticed she’d been a little more… quiet than usual, so he figured taking her out shopping would help a little. After all, that usually fixed a lot of her problems.

But when the two arrived at the mall, Zoey was still quiet, and would only look up from her phone occasionally to browse around. But in the end, she didn’t end up buying… anything.

Zoey, who had every inch of her closet stuffed with clothes. Zoey, who was always up to date on the latest fashion trends. Zoey, who needed every accessory in every color.

Zoey. Wanted nothing.

He was at least able to buy her dinner before taking her home, but as Drew drove back to his house, he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Zoey always wanted something from him. That was one of the things she liked about him, wasn’t it? So why hadn’t she wanted anything?

If he wasn’t buying her things, what was he even bringing into this relationship? What was keeping her around?

Calm down. It’s one time. She’s probably just… having a tough week or something.

He took a deep breath as he turned into his driveway. Yet it did little to ease his mind.

God, first Jake starts getting closer with those freaks, and now Zoey’s acting all weird, too. The hell’s going on?

His thoughts kept him up longer than he’d like to admit.

*+*+*

Drew could barely open his eyes the following morning. Sleeping had been… exhausting, ironically. He kept drifting in and out, his mind constantly racing with thoughts that managed to escape from the dark crevices of his mind.

After several minutes of quiet yawns and eye rubs, Drew finally gathered the strength needed to sit himself upright.

His movements were slower that morning. It took him longer to get ready than usual, and when it came time to decide an outfit, Drew found himself hesitant.

Usually, he’d choose something formal. Something that made him look… better than his other classmates.

But Drew was exhausted. He didn’t care about looking better. He just wanted to be comfortable.

His eyes scanned his closet, and eventually, Drew pulled out a black hoodie he hadn’t worn in awhile.

…The weather was getting colder anyways, so this would be perfect.

He didn’t bother to double check his appearance. He was already running a little behind.

Before leaving, however, Drew decided to grab an energy drink from the fridge, cracking it open and taking a sip before leaving for school.

…Drew found himself to be more irritable than usual that day. His mind just wouldn’t slow down.

He had complained about Zoey’s behavior during lunch that day, and of course, Jake wasn’t listening. Probably daydreaming about those freaks again.

Without thinking, Drew snapped at him, voicing his suspicion to Jake. Yet the blonde didn’t seem to be phased, and only denied Drew’s claim.

But Drew wasn’t convinced. If Jake truly preferred his company, why did he keep talking to Hailey instead of him?

It was even worse during PE. Multiple times during class, Drew found himself glancing in the blonde’s direction, and every time, Jake’s eyes were busy admiring a certain teal-haired girl on the other side of the field.

Well, he sure moves on fast…

*+*+*

Jake ended up running off with Hailey after school that day too, and the next, and-

Suddenly, Jake didn’t even seem to have time for them anymore. He was always so busy with ‘rehearsals’ or whatever. He wouldn’t show up to lunch anymore, nor would he have time after school to hang out. Even during class, he still seemed more intent on talking to Hailey.

And… Drew didn’t miss the way Jake’s eyes sparkled when he looked at her. He didn’t miss the smile that appeared on his face whenever she was around.

He’d never seen him shine so brightly before. Not even around him.

Drew found himself thinking about it one night, as he stared up at his bedroom ceiling.

I thought I actually meant something to him… Apparently, I’m about as good as some stuck-up music freak he’s only known for a month. That same uncomfortable feeling began seeping into his chest.

Everything I did for him, did any of it even matter? Or am I just useless to him now? Now that he has those little freaks he’s so fond of.

God, they don’t deserve him. They don’t deserve to be by his side. They don’t deserve to see him smile, he’s supposed to be-

A breath. He was spiraling again.

…This wasn’t normal, was it?

*+*+*

Sleep was growing elusive. Drew wasn’t sure how many hours of rest he must’ve lost from this week alone.

Everything had changed, and Drew wasn’t the least bit prepared for it all. His whole world had been torn from beneath him the moment Jake walked through those club doors. Jake just had to go and ruin everything…

He brought his knees closer to his chest, sinking deeper into his desk chair as he pulled out his phone. No new notifications…

He opened his messages, and pulled up the last few messages he sent to Jake.

Six messages and eight hours later, Jake still hadn’t responded yet. He refreshed the app, yet nothing changed.

Drew sighed, and he set his phone down on his desk, tilting his head back to stare out the sun-roof. The moon hung high overhead, obscured only partially by the dark clouds in the sky.

Drew bit his lip, wondering why everything turned out like it did.

Jake was supposed to be his friend. But now he’s found someone else.

Suddenly, Drew's phone buzzed, and he scrambled to grab it, fumbling to see what the notification was.

A text message… from him.

Apologizing for being… ‘busy’ again.

Drew didn’t know how many times he reread his message. And his trembling hands held his phone tighter.

That same uncomfortable feeling he’d grown so familiar with pierced his chest again. It’d grown sharper. It felt as if a knife had been dragged through him.

Why did he always have to be busy? Busy with his new friends, who took up all his time, all his life.

He replaced me-

And in a moment of frustration, Drew threw his phone across the room. It slammed against the wall, and Drew couldn’t tell if he broke it or not. But he didn’t care.

His breath was heavy, struggling to escape his throat. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, his vision blurred, and-

…He could feel tears growing dangerously close to spilling over.

Quickly, Drew tilted his head back, swallowing as he blinked them away. Dammit…

This wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to cry. Not over something as pathetic as this. You’re better than this…

He’d been doing so well, too. Hell, the last time he cried must’ve been-

…All the way back in Sophomore year. In the middle of the night, during a sleepover of all times.

God, the dream was still so clear in his mind. Every word. Every action. The feeling of waking up with tears streaming down his face.

And… the way Jake had held him that night, his touch gentle, yet the only thing keeping Drew together.

He could recall the warmth that flooded his chest, washing away his worries as he’d melted into the blonde’s arms.

…It was ironic. The last time he’d cried, Jake had been there with him. But now… he was about to cry because Jake wasn’t there…

…Suppose dreams really do come true after all.

The thought brought a bitter smile to his face. An uneven laugh escaping his throat. God, that sounds so pathetic…

It was even more pathetic how desperately he wanted to return to that moment. To those simpler times. And to that warm embrace he’d never truly felt before.

He missed his warmth. He missed his smile, his company, just… him.

Drew could feel a single tear slip from his eye, followed by another, and-

Drew was quick to brush them away. He wasn’t supposed to cry- he didn’t cry. Not over something like this… not over anything.

So he forced himself to stop. Forced himself to hold it together. Just as he’d always done.

Ignoring the pain he felt tearing him apart.

[junkdrawernoggin]

SPOILERS for CINDERELLA'S CASTLE

Wanted to put a warning because if you can see it you should, and for all the folks who are going to wait for the YouTube release. There are also critiques in here, so if you don't want to see that, pass on by and have a good day!

I really really enjoyed it! I have a couple issues with it so I'll get those out of the way first. I mean these with all respect and kindness to the cast and crew.

Main Issue: You can tell who is an old Starkid member

This distracted me a lot. In this production there are only 3 original members on stage (I'm counting anyone who did AVPMs). That's Jeff Blim, Lauren Lopez, and Joey Richter. They are obviously all very talented. However

My critique for Lauren is that she did the same voice for Rancilda that she did for Ruth, and I wasn't a fan when she did it then. I haven't loved any of her sniveling loser roles, finding them far too annoying to enjoy. Emma and Zazzalil were fantastic, as well as her Tin Can roles. Please let her do that instead.

Edit: The Rancilda voice is actually not Ruth's. There is another character she does that has this exact same shrill thing going on, but for the life of me I cannot recall who it is.

Jeff is a great song writer, but he consistently writes himself parts that are out of his comfortable range. That or his vocal health is in serious disrepair by performance time. The "Castle on a Hill" demo sounds great, but in the DT performance I can almost feel the strain. I miss his lower range.

Joey did amazing puppet work; I especially enjoyed the parts where he was the old dwarf. The problem comes with the singing. NPMD I enjoyed his singing, and he's been good in the Tin Can productions. But you can hear him straining in the background which I felt hindered some of the ensemble parts.

I LOVE the old cast. They all bring unique skills to the table. But I think they are very comfortable now, and also sometimes make choices they think are good but in actuality hinder themselves. I'd love if a different writer came on board to mix things up. They need to be unafraid of giving honest feedback.

Now to the good!

The "new" cast members are so incredible!

Bryce rocked it, and I'm glad to see her highlighted after how well she did in NPMD. She sold every emotion, and her mix of wit and despair was heartcrushing. I would watch a 10 hour version of this production just to see more of her.

James was great. I don't find overly sexual humor that funny, but he did very well keeping a straight face and being utterly sincere with it all.

I will fully admit I have a crush on Kim and Curt, which colors my perspective of them a bit. Kim is such an incredible singer, I could listen to her all day. She's only the Fairy Queen for like...10ish minutes but she absolutely and utterly steals the show. No one else could've sold me that hard on how ethereal she was. Curt impossibly has chemistry with literally every person he's paired with. From the previews I was hoping Tadius and Ella would be paired up, so I am peachy pleased it turned out that way!

Jon was great, his role was clearly inspired by Septimus from Labyrinth and I love how hard he leaned into that.

I also adore Mariah, and I really loved this for her. She has had a pretty wild amount of diversity in all of her roles for Starkid. I was happy to see her really lean into the comedy and shenanigans of it all.

And the cherry on top, ANGELA!!!! I will admit, in Black Friday i wasn't her biggest fan. Mostly because I was so disappointed Mariah was unable to be in that production. However, she utterly shocked me in NPMD, that girl is MADE to play villains!!! I was a bit confused on why Angela was chosen for the stepmother and not Lauren, but oh boy when she came on stage I was HOOKED! She was fantastic. Is she a great singer? In my personal opinion, no not really. Do I really care? NOT AT ALL!! Highlight of the show 10/10

Also the set design was fucking incredible!! I like that they downsized (or at least it looked like they downsized) from the NPMD stage. It looked empty all the time. This time it felt so full and high budget. The lighting was phenomenal, the first time I've ever noticed lighting in a show and not for a bad reason.

The band was great, they always are!

The songs were...iffy. They didn't stick with me the way the NPMD ones did, certainly not like Black Friday or TGWDLM did. I'm a big music fan (I trained professionally to sing as well), so songs stick with me a lot even on a first listen. I know the opening "There's a castle on a hill as the story goes..." because I've watched the announcements so many times. Other than that, I really cannot tell you a single lyric from most of the songs in this show. Very odd for me.

Okay, going in for another watch. Maybe I'll have other opinions after.

[beansmakesthings]

You 🫵

Yes you

Give me your Penny Lamb headcanons (legoland)

Boy, what happened to 'hello' and 'please'. I have a name, you know /lh

I will preface this one by saying I think it's very funny if Legoland Penny and RTC Penny exist in the same universe as separate people and all my hcs are approached from that perspective. Cool? Cool.

This one is also just random general stuff and will feature some vague references to parental abuse and mental health issues. Cause you know, it's Legoland.

- RTC Penny started calling her 'PB' when she found out she had a crush on Constance. As in, she's the future Penny Blackwood. (I will refer to her as PB for the rest of this for clarity)

- Yes this means there's a Penny Lamb dating Ocean and a Penny Lamb dating Constance. I just think it's funny.

- PB and Ezra'a parents were neglectful at best days and cruel at worst. PB did everything in her power to keep their attention off of Ezra and took care of him as best as she could. As a result, she's a lot more affected by their childhood than Ezra is.

- She has a bad habit of getting into fights as she has pretty poor emotional regulation due to her childhood trauma (see biting Johnny Moon in the face) and the internal anger over being unable to stop it. She's going to therapy and has improved considerably, but she still sometimes has a tendency to lash out at people who bother her.

- PB and Penny absolutely hated each other at first. It was just plain creepy. Both from somewhere a little outside Uranium City, have the same name, both have parental problems, both subject to bullying, both autistic, it just rubbed them the wrong way. They eventually grew to like each other though.

- PB still has a legally enforced curfew she has to follow as part of the court order after the Johnny Moon incident. This is a great travesty as it means she can't join any choir sleepovers.

- When Constance finally cracked and told PB all about the warehouse after the Cyclone accident and coming back to life (she felt guilty lying and hiding it from her), PB took it rather well. She once used her brother's money from selling his ADHD meds to cross the boarder into the States, snuck into a bar, and attacked a celebrity once, so who is she to decide whether or not 6 people collectively remembering God in the form of a fortune machine making them perform a musical for a rat was a real event or just mass hysteria? Weird things happen all the time. She's just glad they're all alive either way.

- PB loves going into the woods and finding little bugs and frogs and things. She takes pictures of everything and gives them all names

- She has no idea where the whole 'PB' thing came from, but literally everyone except Ezra calls her that at this point and she DOESN'T GET IT

- Constance usually shortens the PB nickname even further and just calls her Peebs. It's so far from her own name at this point that it's kind of frustrating, but she can't convince anyone to stop (Constance is also in on where it comes from and thinks it's adorable)

- PB has no idea how most teenagers dress and has never been in on a trend in her life (aside from Seven Up and we all know how that turned out) so she usually dresses like a 70s hippie

- She has a tendency to bring home wild animals and try to sneak them into her room. She once hid a family of raccoons in her closet

- PB formed a weird friendship with Ocean that almost entirely relies on comparing their shitty drug addict parents

- PB absolutely loves music. It's so stimmy. Once she's out in the world and becomes friends with the Saint Cassian Chamber Choir, she's being introduced to more music than she ever knew existed. She loves watching the choir perform and loves being in a car with any one of them and cranking their music until she can feel the bass in her chest.

- Constance keeps telling PB she could join the choir if she wants. They have plenty of room for her. PB declines because, while she can hold a tune and play ukulele, she doesn't like singing nearly enough to get in front of so many people and open herself up to judgement. She prefers to listen, so she'll just sit in the front row, thanks.

- PB does not like eye contact and will never look anyone in the eye ever unless she has no choice

- PB and Ezra were featured in one of Mischa's rap songs on YouTube

- Elysium didn't have a lot of modern technology so PB is terrible with most of it. She can barely use her phone without getting trapped in the notes app and panicking and needing someone to fix it

- Since she was homeschooled and kind of got to pick whatever she found most interesting to learn about, PB is incredibly knowledgeable about a lot of history and biology, but is god awful at math. She's pretty convinced she'll fail grade 12 math because what the hell is a parabola?

[aihoshiino]

Do you think the DVD video Aqua gave Kamiki is a fake? It's a bit too simple a plot twist, it's ridiculous and Oshi no Ko is used to something more mysterious. Also, the fact that Ai seems to know everything in omniscient mode is disturbing in the DVD. It's as if Ruby is playing Ai and they want Kamiki to believe that she loves him so that he'll be broken, when in fact he's right, and their revenge is to make him believe a lie.

Nah, I don't think so. For all the issues there are with it as a plot device (as you pointed out) there are easily double that just from a logistical perspective with 'it's fake and that was Ruby'. Like, Ruby looks like her mom but they're not identical - Ruby is taller for one and her build is pretty different to Ai's. Her voice is also very different and unless she's pulling off some Akane tier voice mimicry, it would be very easy to tell. Not only has Kamiki already met Ruby in person at least three times but he's also literally just sat through a two-something-hour movie of said performance - I simply cannot in any way conceive of him not immediately seeing through this ruse, even if he wasn't as obsessed with Ai as he clearly still is.

I also just think it falls apart thematically when applies to the KamiAi tragedy as a whole. Kamiki had Ai killed because he thought she didn't love him and lived his life not necessarily happy, but secure in that knowledge. In showing him the DVD, Aqua has not just challenged Hikaru's self-percieved justification (for lack of a better word) for his hand in her death but entirely torn apart every single belief Hikaru had about their entire relationship. His entire LIFE between the ages 19 and 30something has been completely upended and now he has to cope with the realization that he desecrated and destroyed the very thing he has been longing for his whole life and that everything he's done in relation to that sin was meaningless.

I also just think it sucks shit as a resolution for Ai's arc and a twist overall. What do we get out of 'Ai actually loved you JK SHE NEVER LOVED YOU' out of the momentary surprise of the fact that a twist has happened, period?

[zalrb]

Apologies, I meant that the “all the women love him and all the men want to be him” are more of a Moffat thing than Eleven vs Ten. If I recall correctly, the episode featuring Madame de Pompadour was written by Moffat, but I have no idea if the episode where Sarah Jane makes her return was.

I just feel like any episode that Moffat writes or has influence on features on women characters remarking on how hot they find the Doctor, which causes the female companion/current love interest (or love interest’s boyfriend, in Rory’s case) to fume and seethe on the sidelines. (Seriously, I have no recollection of Amy’s crush on the Doctor, but it was just so unnecessary.)

I love River, but before the reveal of how her purpose was to kill the Doctor, I didn’t think she had more presence than teasing and flirting with him and despite their chemistry I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at her, because that’s so Moffat. He has this way of creating objectively cool female characters but they are made less cool by having their lives revolve around the Doctor. Amy could have been interesting, but he fumbled her; River was amazing after the reveal and with the literally star-crossed timelines; Clara was reduced to a lapdog from what I remember. As annoying as Rose was, her love for the Doctor seemed just that, but it wasn’t her absolute purpose. Same goes for Martha and especially Donna.

Russell T. Davies, the writer before Moffat, definitely had his issues with rampant misogyny and racism, but somehow his characters had enough personality to overcome those defects of his writing, I thought. I was also, like, 14 when I watched all this so this is all probably a boatload of nonsense.

No, it's not nonsense, it's an interesting perspective.

I actually have the opposite feelings about Rose and River. I'm seven episodes into season 2 and I'm not really sure what Rose's personality is meant to be or who she's meant to be, even if her journey began a season before, I feel like I should know who she is by now and really the only thing I can tell you is that she's meant to "care" and that she seems to get jealous if another woman so much as talks to the Doctor. And it also feels as though the show is working overtime for me to believe this connection the two of them have but I actually don't believe this "love" or this "bond". I had my issues with Amy and I even had issues with Amy and the Doctor's connection but I believed it way more than Rose and the Doctor or at least Rose and Ten.

Now, Rose isn't narratively revolving the Doctor the way River or even Clara was in the sense that Clara, the Impossible Girl's, purpose is/was literally to save him and River literally says that she waits for the days she sees him and she's raised to murder him but even before the reveal that she was Melody, I knew who River was, she seemed to be the only person who could go toe to toe with the Doctor, and despite their love story and her grand affection for him, she never came across as enamoured to me. So while narratively speaking her movements all really have to do with the Doctor, I never actually got that impression in the show, and part of that is definitely because Alex gives a very self-possessed and adult performance where she doesn't come across as infatuated or petty or besotted, she comes across as her own person whereas with Rose, I don't think Billie is a bad actress, I actually quite liked watching her be Cassandra for that episode because it showed me that she could have some kind of range but I don't really see that with Rose, she just kind of seems like an eager puppy.

Whereas from what I saw of Clara, which wasn't much, she isn't in season 7 that much, rather than coming across as a lap dog, to me it just seemed like she had no qualms with the Doctor, like she isn't The Girl Who Waited, she isn't in a painful, epic romance with him, she's just happy to go on adventures and be his right hand so at least in that season there isn't really any tension between them.

My issue with Moffat from what I have seen from seasons 5 to 7 is more that he does these overarching season arcs that you would think have consequences and ramifications and would alter dynamics and relationships, which would be interesting, but then he reverses what he did at the end of the episode or the next episode so that everything can be exactly the same for the next adventure and it makes a lot of things feel pointless.

[rjalker]

System Collapse is just so bad it'd be funny if not for the completely unnecessary transmisia (That doesn't even fucking make sense lofl).

So here's the things it's not:

It's not plot driven

It's not action driven

It's not mystery driven

It's not character driven

There's just 60,000 ish plus words of a whole lot of nothing happening and us being literally told things are happening.

We're told Murderbot has a Systems Collapse™ 😱 (A horrified emoji clutching its face in fear), and we're told that it's making mistakes.

As in it literally keeps going "I'd fucked that up" "Oh look another mistake I'd made" "I was useless"

But not like, actually making any real mistakes. Martha Wells is continuing the pattern of the 6 first books in the series, where we just get told Murderbot is making mistakes instead of Murderbot actually making mistakes, but this time it's even more glaringly obvious that that's what she's doing because it happens like 50 times. For no reason.

(And not even in a "Murderbot's self esteem is spiraling and it's having a horrible angsty time" way. No. It's fine except for where we keep being told it's not fine. But if you go off of what we're shown, it is, in fact, literally fucking fine. because it's bad writing.)

"not instantly noticing a door on the other side of the giant dark room" is not a mistake worth commenting on. No, not even in an in-universe sense. And especially not worth doing so what felt like fifty fucking times for things just as inconsequential.

If she wanted us to believe that Murderbot was actually making mistakes and performing at sub-optimum efficiency or whatever...how about have it fucking lead a group of humans into a room with people pointing guns at the door and someone gets shot because it wasn't paying attention or couldn't focus? Bonus points if the humans it's babysitting had been trying to draw attention to the problem but it kept shooting them down (No pun intended) and insisting it was the security and it knew what it was doing.

no, we can't do that, because that would require Murderbot to actually makes mistakes that matter.

And with Martha Wells writing, that's never gonna happen because all of her protagonists are overpowered Mary Sues who are never allowed to "lose" in any real way, and that includes making actual mistakes. (And, as many of my other posts have talked about at length, this is also why none of her characters will ever become physically disabled no matter how many times they get blown up or stabbed or shot or eviscerated)

So she's just gonna keep literally telling us that Murderbot is making mistakes about things that are not mistakes and don't actually matter. And that's all that we're ever gonna get.

Even in the book that's supposedly about Murderbot Having A Mental Breakdown 😱 (another horrified emoji).

And just like the rest of the book titles, this one has nothing to do with the actual story being told, at all. It is in fact the worst title so far because it's just so blatantly "clickbait" and a lie. lol.

I literally said aloud to Walks when I was 20 pages in, "I feel like this is gonna be a Steven Moffat".

And yeah, I was right, it literally is.

The first literal 99 pages, not even joking, are just referring to the Systems Collapse™ 😱 (another horrified emoji) the book is named for, and referring to this event, which already happened, offscreen, before this book started, as, literally, redacted.

Implying constantly that it's some huge big traumatic deal with far-reaching consequences and major impacts on our main characters.

And we literally do not even get told what this event was until literally page 99.

And then by page 101 we're done talking about it.

And we are literally told what happened. Not even shown it from Murderbot's perspective.

Because it...wasn't even aware of it at the time. It remembered sitting while the humans were talking, and then its very next memory is waking up in the medical bay, perfectly physically fine as always.

And you may be thinking in petrified horror, "oh gods, what happened during the time it doesn't remember?" and imagining all sorts of plausible and horrible scenarios.

And uhh, well I don't want this post to have any more spoilers than it already does, so I'll make like Martha Wells and just tell you: None of the things you're probably imagining, which would make sense and fit within the story and justify all this drama around the event, are what happened.

What happened, is, like the rest of this book, a whole lot of nothing.

And as I said above. This book is not driven by the plot. It's not driven by a mystery. It's not filled with action. And it's not driven by the characters or their emotions.

Nothing in this book seems to matter, except that we just keep being told it matters, like we're told Murderbot is making mistakes.

I love character-driven stories. If this book were 60+ thousand words of nothing but intense Murderbot introspection and development, I'd have loved it.

But it's not. And there's nothing else to make up for the fact that it's not. All the other books had either interesting action, interesting characters, a lot of funny things, or a lot of sad things. This has exactly none of those things.

It's not funny, it's not sad, it doesn't have any interesting character interactions, the plot, which is overly complicated and doesn't make sense, wastes a whole lot of time doing nothing, and we just keep being told that Murderbot is Especially Traumatized™ right now, but not actually shown this in any way. We did not need to be told that Murderbot was having a mental breakdown in book 5, it was fucking obvious from the way it was acting. We were shown the fact that it was breaking down.

Here? Nope. No show, all tell, and what we're being told isn't even true...probably all of the time, to be honest. There's no point where something bad happens and then Murderbot goes "that was bad". No, the telling isn't a reaction to the showing.

We just get told things and that's supposed to make them true. But that's not how storytelling works.

Oh and all the rest of the problems this series has had until now? yeah Martha Wells is still continuing those. Augmented humans AKA cyborgs AKA disabled people are still explicitly excluded from the group of "human", because Martha Wells saw The Imperial Radch series talking about how THE EVIL FUCKING EMPIRE does not consider disabled people to be human, and decided that was a cool thing to do without...the whole thing where it's evil to do so, and that's the whole fucking point.

Literally the entire point of this in The Imperial Radch is to show that dehumanizing people is something fashists do. But Martha Wells missed that part, so she's just gonna keep dehumanizing disabled people in The Murderbot Diaries as a point of course. With no contemplation by anyone or anything that hey maybe this is a bad thing to do.

She's still still making up millions of excuses to avoid freeing other enslaved people because she thinks robot rebellions are too cliche to be interesting, so the alternative is "don't free slaves whenever you get the chance because ummmm what if they're enslaved for a good reason and decide to murder everyone?" Yeah, we're on book 7 and she's still doing that shit.

She keeps showing us that Murderbot is just as overpowered as the rest of her protagonists, but all of sudden when it comes to freeing other slaves, now all of a sudden poor little Murderbot can't do anything because ummmmmmmmmmmmm it'd have to....*checks notes* hack the security system first. ya know, that thing it's done millions of times? that thing it does without hesitation or trouble literally all the time?

It's like the fucking Democrats every time they win office. Oh no, sorry, they can't actually do anything in this extremely powerful position to help people, they're actually totally powerless and um we should give them more money and more power and then they'll be able to do the bare minimum to help people Vote Blue No Matter Who [heart emoji]

Murderbot can hack anything it wants whenever it wants at any time, and only chooses not to send space stations crashing out of orbit to be polite.

But ohh, as soon as there's another enslaved SecUnit in front of it that it has the power to free, then all of a sudden um there's nothing it can do, it can't hack the security system all of a sudden.

Literally this:

[ID: The meme of someone putting on sunglasses, originally saying, "I can't read suddenly. I don't know." Now edited so the top is captioned, "Murderbot when it's given the chance to free other slaves:", with the person now saying, "I can't hack suddenly. I don't know.". End ID.]

And this isn't a character flaw, this isn't Murderbot being traumatized and falling for the same propaganda that justified it being enslaved.

No, this is all because Martha Wells thinks robot uprising and slave rebellions are too cliche. Literally. They're too cliche. And these people are enslaved because they're so dangerous. So they should stay enslaved. And we're on book fucking 7 so far. So the racism is continuing and there's no sign of it stopping any time soon.

Sarcasm: Slavery is fine apparently as long as you're scared of what the enslaved people will do if you free them! Such great morals. Definitely couldn't have been unpacked in the second book at all.

The first few books were always making excuses not to free other slaves, but they've never been so blatant about being excuses until now. There is genuinely no excuse for keeping this shit up at this point. She's already spent the first 6 books showing us how completely overpowered Murderbot is. Pretending it suddenly can't do anything only when it's time to free other enslaved people is so fucking transparent and racist. Like I said it before and this book is just further cementing the fact that these books, despite the premise, are just slavery apologism at this point. We are on book 7! Seven! you don't need seven fucking books to deal with this shit!

Anyways don't waste money buying this book. Get it from your local library or the Web Archive or borrow from a friend. It's not worth spending money on. If your local library doesn't have it yet, make an Official request for them to get it.

The only thing worth reading it for is so you can see exactly how not to tell a story, because the problems in this one are so fucking glaringly obvious at all times.

Worst Murderbot book published so far. -5/10. Do not recommend. Definitely do not spend money on it.

[potionwine]

Friend!!! Speaking of Anabella!!! I was always so curious about her relationship to Joshua!!! I mean it was always easy to hate Clive, but Joshua IS the Phoenix, but he is also sickly! She mentions later how hurt she was when people talked about that! How Clive must've been born out of wedlock and her real child is weak!

She contradicts herself when talking about Joshua! "He wasn't good enough!" "He was my everything!" She doesn't want to let Elwin drag her little boy to the frontlines but she also HATES that he cannot *perform*!

She kills herself not immediately when Olivier dies, but when JOSHUA comes towards her and offers a hand in sympathy! I WANT TO KNOW MOREEE

ugggghhhh this is my SPECIAL INTEREST.

I also found it really really fascinating that she seemed to harbour some lowkey, semi-conscious resentment towards Joshua for being weak and frail! Even in modern day, when a child turns out less than what people perceive to be "normal", whether that's physically or mentally, people still instinctively blame mothers for those "defects", and as someone who's actually responsible for carrying on noble lineage, I can only imagine the intense scrutiny over every child she produced.

Her hurts runs so deep that it makes me wonder if Elwin ever did anything about it or ever protected or defended her on that front. The game portrays Elwin as all sorts of good---and I've got an incredible rant in me somewhere about that but I shan't be a hater today---but I can easily believe an Elwin who doesn't truly realise and comprehend the level of insult that his wife feels and experiences about all of this. I mean, oooff, even in daily life, in the workplace and such, I encounter male colleagues who I would genuinely consider to be decent people, who every now and then say things to dismiss a thing that their wife/female partner is rather extremely hung up about? Like you've described this anecdote to me and even from my outsider perspective this thing sounds like it's really important to your wife and OKAY it sounds funny and illogical to you, or maybe you even do take it seriously but you just reassure her verbally in private instead of doing something about it? Then in my head I'm just thinking, no you don't understand, she needs you to defend her, she literally needs you to say the thing to your family/do the thing in front of your acquaintances so that she feels VALUED.

And that's why, there's a question mark about Elwin's conduct. Putting aside whether or not he actually did have affairs, since the game is silent on it, if we are starting from the premise that Elwin as head of state is busy with wars and governance and whatnot, hasn't got the time and effort and caring to spare for his wife's "paranoias" and insecurities about people laughing behind her back about rumours that directly concern his behaviour? Yea, that's a recipe for resentment and marital strife. Of course it is. It's practically the age-old story of marriage: one person thinks it's a big deal, the other person doesn't think it's a big deal, and the real indicator of love and respect is how partners choose to respond to each other.

However, I am open to the possibility that he may have done his absolute best to reassure her and appease her and be honourable and righteous and everything the game tells us to expect of Rosfield men as a baseline, so I am prepared to accept that Anabella's hangups are not something that he could ever have solved, even if he did defend her repeatedly and continuously with all the vigilance of a good husband. It may be that Anabella's definition of a good husband is one who simply accedes to her every wish, and that is not something Elwin would ever do, not on his characterisation, whereas it is something Sylvestre repeatedly does for her.

It's bizarre if people truly assumed a strong child couldn't come from her? Was she herself weak and sickly in her childhood, I wonder? Or is it just that Joshua is so indisputably hers that Clive, in juxtaposition, seems so different that he must come from a different mother. The whole thing is senseless, but also, who's actually being nonsensical here: Anabella herself and her warped interpretations, since she was obviously unravelling, or was the Rosarian court filled with nasty rumours from malicious actors who wished to hurt her and/or the ruling family? Only because I would assume her births are literally matters of national importance, probably attended by a huge amount of physickers and with the entire population, nobles and commoners alike, waiting anxiously for every scrap of news. If Clive popped out from her truly, there would be eyewitnesses aplenty, surely? It's baffling how these rumours were allowed to fester and gain traction, if we assume they are more than a figment of her insecure imagination---and if so, she seems to have fallen completely in their trap too, by never checking her assumptions and stewing in the perceived injury to herself.

After all, in the prologue the onlookers said something like "imagine treating your own flesh and blood like this" after witnessing Her Grace's treatment of Clive---so even though she treats him like trash in public, that's corroboration that people do believe he is hers! They don't say "oh the Archduchess treats him like dirt because, you know, his father, nudge nudge wink wink".

She does contradict herself when talking about Joshua and it drives me crazy in the best way. There's this tinge of contempt when she talks about him huh, a degree of disappointment she can't fully bury in the loud insistence of her love. Even she wanted Clive to be the Phoenix. I think of the prologue, of the little scene where the young brothers talk beneath the moon, of Joshua's little fists shaking with the knowledge of his inadequacy when he said to his elder brother "it should have been you". It gives me the feeling that Joshua knew all along that not a single person ever thought he'd make a better Dominant than his brother.

Olivier... what did she get from Olivier that she did not already have better with her existing sons lol. She loved him like a doll-toy I suppose, which is the one thing her (real human boy~) sons could not become. Personally I think because the game had no sympathy for her, it could not allow her to have any meaningful interaction or confrontation with post-PG Joshua, because to truly see him would be the beginning of self-understanding---something something the tragedy of King Lear. But where works like King Lear are very sympathetic to the foibles and misguided pride of their central Tragic figure, the game doesn't want us to give a shit about Anabella because the creators themselves don't care about her, which is why she never has the opportunity to finish her Tragic arc. She is never allowed to realise exactly what blessings she gave up, never allowed to realise how wrong she was, never allowed the privilege of true insight or the possibility of repentance or even simple regret.

In that way she remains only a wretch, the object of disdain and hatred from the playing audience, instead of a realised Tragedy come full circle.

(Quietly, my little pet headcanon about Joshua being very like his mother in impulse and nature, but who consistently makes different choices and the sum of these choices make him the person she ought to have been as Archduchess? Yea I want her to see this more than anything else. But then Anabella might actually learn how to become a better person, and we can't have that.)