#when im finished i’ll go rewatch the boys again

[londyboobs]

rewatching gen v one more time because i’m mentally ill and can’t focus on anything else

[ma1dita]

it will pass

part two can be found here -> without a doubt

words: little under 2k

summary: Without a doubt, James Potter loves you. But he’s not in love with you.

warnings: none! fem!reader; i would die for best friend!james, did not demonize lily; angst, unrequited love, lil childhood speech impediment, cheesy nicknames, sharing clothes, will they wont they (they wont im sorry)

a/n: guess who just rewatched fleabag szn 2! i chose pain today sorry— god i missed writing. i am a words of affirmation gorl pls affirm me

(posted 9/8/23)

—

There isn’t a single doubt that James Potter loves you.

You’ve been attached at the hip since training broomsticks and pinky swears in Godric’s Hollow. You accidentally call a boy ‘Jam’ once because of your childhood speech apraxia, and he swears you’re meant to be his best friend.

“Don’t worry, I can be loud enough for the both of us, peanut!”

Like peanut butter and jelly, you two were a perfect match– and even better partners in crime. When James puts his mind to something, he sees it through. So even if you were honestly unable to string the words together, who were you to say no?

Technically it’s somewhat official too, by whatever imaginary power was bestowed upon the Potter’s house elf for your very elaborate backyard fantasy wedding the two of you had when you were seven. All of your parents were in attendance, along with your cat and you all had blueberry cupcakes after your first and only kiss.

“Miss Mippy pronounces you huzbind and wife!”

Giggles are heard all around as the tiny elf tripped on her way off the stool, knocking both your heads together. James lost a front tooth that day, but he grinned for the pictures your mothers took anyway. Without a doubt, he loves you.

—

There wasn’t anyone at Hogwarts who would expect one of you to be present without the other following behind. You never had to hold back your smart mouth because James was always willing to finish your fights. The both of you were a package deal, with your number of protectors growing once Remus, Sirius, and Peter came along. It was not a routine you both consciously established, but rather second nature to be in each other’s lives. Like how you always made sure his glasses were clean before quidditch matches and he’d chuck his extra jersey at your face for you to wear.

“Stay warm during the game okay? I’ll see you later, love you!”

He skated around your waist, blowing a raspberry onto your cheek as he grabbed his glasses from your fingers.

“Don’t fall off your broom. Love you too, loser.” You’re already tugging his jersey over your head, inhaling his signature scent of broom polish, cinnamon, and Sleakeasy’s hair potion.

James smiled at you softly, before running to meet up with his team. After Gryffindor won again, he threw you over his shoulder and you laughed and yelled that he smelled like sweat. He always tucked you in his bed after parties, wrapping you in his arms once the lights go out. Without a doubt, he loves you.

—

Your friendship is stronger than most romantic relationships, and as your teenage years fly by, both of you realize how rare that is. He often took you to the kitchens to eat vanilla sundaes after boys broke your heart (and they got black eyes to match, courtesy of him and the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team) and you would listen to him, building him up and calming him down through years of pining over a certain Lily Evans. You were there for each other through everything, silly crushes, secret trysts, boring detentions, and highly esteemed accolades. If there ever were such a thing as soulmates, you knew it had to be him, even if it was platonic. Just being around someone as vibrant as James made you consider yourself lucky.

You once saw your best friend with his head in his hands on your way to a date—he was moping after a nasty prank on Snape went wrong; it ended in Lily crying and after defending her albeit quite boisterously in true James fashion, he still didn’t get the girl.

He gets up to see you walking down the corridor to meet him halfway, and before you even speak he rubs his eyes, posture shrinking as his towering frame melts into your embrace.

“Don’t know why I thought it’d be different this time,” he mumbles, and you gladly carry the weight of his heart.

“Let’s go swimming in the Black Lake, ” you say suddenly, rubbing his broad back in small circles.

“But peanut, you have a date in an hour! You’re all dolled up and pretty...”

“I’ll have more dates. You need me right now, jelly. I’ve got you.” His nickname makes you blush a little more than you should sometimes, so you only ever pull it out as a trick up your sleeve to make him feel better.

“Love you,” you whisper, brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He breathes easily for the first time in hours, mouth curling up from its frown when he sees you walk straight into the lake water with your nicest clothes on, not even hesitating for a moment. Without a doubt, he loves you.

—

When James puts his mind to something, he sees it through. So years later, when your best friend asks you if you could go wedding ring shopping with him to propose to the love of his life, who were you to decline? I mean, who else would go with him?

“Come on, (Y/N). I need my best girl with me to make the biggest decision of my life.” he’s practically moaning, the man ever so dramatic as he’s sprawled across your couch.

“And why aren’t you dragging Sirius with you again?”

Your eyebrow is raised as you stand at his feet, lifting his burly legs for you to place yourself under and get comfortable.

“What does Sirius know about women? He’d tell me to get the shiniest one and leave!” James’ yells into your throw pillow, anguished at the thought. You pull it off his face, before he quietly admits, “I just want to get it right.”

“When are we going?” you answer, without missing a beat.

Later that week, the saleslady recommends a wide array of glimmering engagement bands, none of which are for you. But you let yourself fall into the fantasy of the what-ifs, flashing back to your flower crown and candy ring wedding, wondering if it could’ve been you getting proposed to by him in another life.

“Would you like to try a few on?” the saleslady asks, assuming you two are together.

“Show me and my girl your best. No price limit.” he grins.

And how dare she assume that, as he puts his head on your shoulder, whisking you around the store to look at stunning rings, fingers brushing, and the both of you being able to communicate clearly with no words spoken. James plays along with the saleslady, finally choosing a whimsical-looking diamond setting placed upon your left ring finger. You remind yourself it’s not yours. Your heart comes to a screeching halt and you can’t help but feel all of a sudden like he’s being mean.

After all, he’s not yours, not really.

There is a little bit of doubt now and a weird tightness in your chest that makes you think of the possibility that you’re in love with James Potter.

—

Like a good best friend, you help him plan his proposal. James’ love is loud, pulling all the stops, and preferring the grandest of gestures.

“James, you are not proposing to Lily with a flash mob.”

“But it would be so cool! After all, my heart dances every time I see her face.” he wiggles his eyebrows as he takes a sip of his butterbeer.

“Your heart might, but you, unfortunately, are the worst dancer I’ve ever seen.” You laugh, reaching over to tug the quill out of his hand, crossing it off his list. He pulls you into a headlock, kissing the side of your face teasingly.

“What would I ever do without you, peanut?”

You wipe James’ spit off your cheek, pushing his face away, blushing from his attention.

“Combust, probably.”

Your heart is dancing now too, and you realize that there isn’t a single doubt that you’re in love with your best friend.

—

You keep yourself busy in the month before his proposal. It hurt learning too many details, such as what flowers he wanted to order to bring out her eyes (pink and yellow tulips), and scouting out the perfect location on the beach he picked (next to the lighthouse you and him visited as kids), even down to how he’d convince Lily to wear white without being suspicious (honestly he just expected you to do him a favor for this one). But after seeing each other almost every day for more than half your life, he knew something was off when you became distant.

James shows up at your apartment, his key in hand, but he decides to knock anyway. The sound of the TV is muffled, lowering in volume until he hears your footsteps pad over to the door and it swings open. You’re in one of his old Quidditch sweaters and fluffy blue socks.

“Hey. Wasn’t expecting you to come by.” You smile timidly, as he leans against the doorframe peering down at you.

“Never used to have to tell you.”

“James...” you stutter, before awkwardly opening the door completely. He shuffles towards the couch, keeping his shoes on as he sits at the end, and there’s a certain tension in the air that frightens you. You’re not sure if you’ll come out of this one unscathed.

“Talk to me (Y/N). What’s been going on with you? You don’t answer my calls, you don’t write back, hell, I haven’t seen you in a month because you started deadbolting your door. Did I do something?”

Yes, James Potter. Ever so blunt and to the point, your favorite person in the world is sitting on your couch uncomfortable with the fact that you’re not comfortable around him anymore.

You fight back against your instincts to tell him what’s wrong, but the three words escape your mouth before you can even take a breath.

“I love you.”

It’s silent. The floor creaks as you shift your weight onto your other leg. You lock eyes with him for the first time that night, and so many things are going through your head that you hope he’s able to pick up on how you’ve been physically aching, carrying the weight of his love for Lily for years.

James looks like he’s about to shake his head, and you beat him to it. You don’t want pity, and he knows that, but he mutters a consolation into the air.

“It’ll pass.”

No, it won’t. Not this.

You think he knows that too. He smiles sadly, watching you turn shrinking into yourself. You never were good at thinking before you spoke. A tear drips down your cheek as you look at your socks again. Your love for him is too big and too loud for your chest cavity to handle. This love feels like dramatic choral music clashing and banging around in your ribs.

“I’m—”

“Don’t apologize. This one’s on me,” you say, stopping him before he finishes speaking.

Without a doubt, James Potter loves you. But he’s not in love with you.

“What I was going to say...is that I’m going to have to ask you not to show up to the engagement party. It’ll be better for the both of us. We can start again from there if you want... Peanut...”

The term of endearment hangs in the air. Your dancing heart was a ticking time bomb after all. The fragments hit your insides, tearing you apart as it combusts, and you realize that nothing will be the same after this.

James stands abruptly, shoving his hands in his pockets. He hesitates before he kisses your temple, and for some reason, this feels like a goodbye. After all, when James sets his mind on something, he sees it through. He’s been set on Lily for years.

You’re his best friend, he swears. And there are no words you can think of to deny that.

—

The End

“I don’t know what to say,” he said.

“It’s okay,” she replied. “I know what

we are— and I know what we’re not.”

Lang Leav

[ateezlovely]

smiling because of you

pairing: choi san x reader (gender-neutral)

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

description: soccer is a great sport, it helped you meet the boy who you want to always be with and two years later he’s finally yours

a/n: sorry i dont know anything about soccer :c was rewatching ateez logbooks and the soccer one inspired me to write this

—

There was only one boy who could make your cheeks red and smile so hard that it hurt, Choi San. Ever since you met him two years ago in the most embarrassing way, you have had the hugest crush growing on him. It was unfortunate timing as you and Kazuha were walking past the soccer field that a ball was accidentally kicked right in your direction. After ending up on the ground with a bleeding nose, Choi San had come running your way apologizing and asking if you were okay.

Even though you had forgiven San and understood it was an accident he still felt guilty and kept trying to make it up to you. This is what led to your friendship and two years later you are both still stuck together.

Once a week or sometimes more after soccer practice you will meet San to study or hangout. Right now you are waiting for him to text you that he is finished with practice and is all cleaned up. It has only been a day since you last saw him but you still miss him and cannot wait to see him again. Before he texts, you decide to head over to your meeting spot and wait for him there.

you: im waiting at our spot

sannie: eager are we?

sannie: ill be out in ten :)

you: shush

The meeting spot is the same place where you got hit in the face and where you and San first met. When San first suggested this be the meeting spot you did not find it amusing but agreed because it was a meaningful spot to you both.

Distracted by your phone you are startled by a loud yell a few feet from you. Mingi and Yunho are giggling as they get closer to you.

“Hey that wasn’t funny! I could’ve had a heart attack from that” you scold them, feeling glad it was just them and San wasn’t with them.

“The most that would’ve happened is you peeing your pants” Mingi teases you and Yunho giggles agreeing with him.

“Yeah whatever, wheres San?”

“Pretty boy is still getting dolled up for you” Yunho winks and you flush but before you could make a comment back, a familiar voice yells out to the three of you.

San comes jogging over with dripping wet hair and wearing grey sweatpants and a black tank that makes your heart flutter. He drapes his arm over your shoulder saying a small hey before accusing Mingi and Yunho of harassing you.

Yunho instantly defends themselves, “they were waiting all by themselves and asked us where you were thats it!”

“Maybe you should spend less time on looking good to impress them!” Mingi snickers and starts walking away with Yunho, leaving San annoyed and you flustered.

“Well how was practice tonight?” you ask to break the tension and slight awkwardness from the comments made by the two boys.

“It was alright, coach is training us hard because we made finals”, a big sigh escapes him and you put your hand on his back to softly rub, “but its okay cause now i get to hangout with you”

You light up and smile at him, “can we please go to the night market, i am so craving that one stands food!”

San playfully disagrees and you plead him all the way to his car when he eventually says that you guys can go only if you buy.

“Yes, of course i’ll buy you anything you want” you agree with no hesitation. This makes San laugh at how determined you are to go to the night market.

An hour later the both of you are sitting by the river with full tummies. You were laying down on the grass staring up at the pink and orange sky while San was sitting next to you. The satisfaction of good food and peaceful atmosphere was almost enough to make you fall asleep.

The silence was broken by San softly speaking your name.

“mhm?”

“I was wondering…if you would want to or if you would like to…” he nervously breathed out, making you prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, “come to my finals game this weekend?”

You were confused by his nervous demeanor, “of course i will–”

He cut you off, “I mean coming to the game as my date”

This made you stop and look at him wide eyed as you comprehend fully what he jus asked you. For two years you have been waiting for this moment and now that it is here you don’t know what to do. In the romance books the girl always knows what to say so why are the words stuck in your throat right now?

“Obviously you don’t have to it’s up to you and like if you said no, our friendship wouldn’t change at all i promise” San starts to ramble as you continue to sit there staring at him.

“San” you whisper so lightly that he doesn’t even hear you, you speak louder saying “San i’ll go to your game”

This makes him stop rambling and look at you, “really? are you sure?”

Sitting all the way up now you say, “I would really like to go… as your date” feeling shy and not able to look at him your fingers nervously play with the grass by your legs.

“Okay great! That’s really great…” there’s a bashful smile on his face that makes you smile and feel very excited for this weekend.

On Saturday the entire day is spent getting ready and making sure you look perfect for the game later. Since all of San’s friends that you know are also on the team and playing, Kazuha is going with you so you aren’t alone. You are happy to have her by your side to calm you down because you have been a nervous mess since San asked you.

The bleachers are almost full when you arrive but still manage to find seats in the front row. When the game starts and the teams come out you make eye contact with San and he smiles big at you. Feeling embarrassed you wave shyly at him and are thankful that his coach calls for the teams attention. It was Kazuhas idea to write San’s name on one cheek and his number on the other. It was embarrassing but did it because you know he would like it and a part of you likes it too.

The entire game you were on the edge of your seat in anticipation, with the other team leading by only a couple points. It was within the last 15 minutes that they were able to score and get ahead of the other team. On the field you could see San and his friends sweaty and breathing hard from how hard they are working. It made you feel worried knowing how exhausted San was going to be after this.

Both you and Kazuha were bouncing from nervous as the game was coming to an end and the team was still in the lead. The entire team and everyone watching cheered as the game ended and San’s team had won. Including you and Kazuha as you were standing up cheering and giggling at eachother excitedly.

The moment had you distracted that you did not notice a sweaty boy running towards you. It was not until he was right in front of you with the brightest smile and his chest moving fast from his breathing that you saw him.

“San?!”

“I like you, a lot, and I am so happy that you are here and I want to kiss you so bad” he blurted coming so close to you there was barely a breath of air between you, “please can i kiss you?”

This time you knew exactly what to say and there was no pause to stare at him, “kiss me San”

His hands grabbed your face and his lips were instantly on yours, bringing you into the softest but passionate kiss. There were tingles and shivers all over your body and you never wanted the kiss to end. It seems San never wanted it to end either because he didn’t pull away until both of you were almost going to pass out from not breathing.

He rested his forehead on yours and you started giggling at how happy you were.

“What are you giggling about hm?”

You pulled away to give another kiss before telling him, “I just like you so much”

[starryemeralds]

HII rwby anon again its been a while sorry dhd ive been on a mission in another world but thats not important right now~

sooo

IVE WATCHED TILL EPISODE 15 !!

IM REALLY ENJOYING IT A LOT, especially with a lot of focus being on vomit boy, i kind of didnt expect that. i LOVE how nora was just. "should i break his legs :D" IN SUCH A FUN AND BUBBLY GIRL VOICE DHDBDBD that was hilarious

AND WHEN PYRRHA TOOK VOMIT BOY ONTO THE ROOF AND HE JUST GOES, "i know im depressed but.. im not THAT depressed" i was DYING of laughter HELPPP JSJSJS

UGH i CANNOT get enough of ruby. shes just like. nope :3 nope : ) nope :] nope :>

UGH its so cute just that little squeakiness in her voice, if that makes sense fhdhd

i am also uh. A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID TO VOMIT BOY

"youre not allowed to be a failure.. because youre a leader !"

i very spesifically remember, before getting into the show, seeing gifs and vids you rebloged of ruby having. not the best of times 😭 because she was their leader and didnt feel perfect / as good as she wanted herself to be, if i remember correctly ? so

yeah 😭😭😭

i ship blake and random faunus boy with a monkey tail /hj

penny seems.. weird,, not in a bad way she is just. a weirdo /pos

LMFAO THE HIGH FIVE BETWEEN WEISS AND RUBY, um *its a combat skirt*

ok so. time to bombard you with questions ( sorry )

who are the faunus how many episodes does the first season have who are the white fang and why does weiss call them degenerates, rapscallions, thieves, murderers and scums

IS IS IS. IS BLAKE A FAUNUS OF THE WHITE FANG !?!

thank you 💅

HELLO RWBY ANON!! I HOPE YOUR MISSION IN ANOTHER WORLD IS GOING WELL LMAO

i love how you consistently refer to jaune as vomit boy, it makes me laugh everytime. and nora, my chaotic beloved, do break that guys legs <3

S T O P, THAT ROOFTOP LINE HAD ME FUCKING CACKLING. IN MY RECENT REWATCH IF THE SHOW, I WAS SHOWING IT TO MY FRIENDS AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TOO

and yes!! ruby’s va is so good, and while she has the squeakiness, you’ll come to see that there’s a lot of emotional range in it 👀

AND YEAH,, RUBY’S JOURNEY AS A LEADER IS A LONG AND COMPLICATED ROAD, BUT MY GOD, THERE IS NOTHING I LOVE MORE THAN STORYLINES LIKE *gestures to v9* THAT (being vague because i don’t wanna spoil you anymore than my blog already has haha)

SUN MY BELOVED!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH; LOYAL TO THE END BUT LACKS ALL BRAIN CELLS. valid to ship them, but their friendship in particular means so much to me and you’ll come to see why a bit later down the road!

AND PENNY MY BELOVED <3333 all i’ll say is that there is something weird with her, and it alludes to the fairy tale she is based on, which i think gets revealed sometime in v2 iirc

AND NOW FOR YOUR QUESTIONS

who are the faunus:

so the faunus are essentially another race in remnant that have physically animalistic features (some might have ears, or tails, etc.)

how many episodes in the first season:

crunchyroll is telling me that the first season has 16 episodes, so you’re right at the finish line!!

who are the white fang:

the white fang has a complicated history, but they are essentially a group of faunus who are fighting for faunus rights and are now known to be an extremist group. (in my personal opinion, i think that rt definitely could’ve handled this plot line a bit better since it is a direct allegory to racism and a lot of black fans have voiced their critiques a lot better than i ever could. there are some threads and video essays by them if that’s something you’d wanna look more into!)

why does weiss call them degenerates, etc?

she’s racist prejudiced towards them based on her upbringing; but she does overcome this fairly quickly SO DONT WORRY.

is blake of the white fang?

she used to be! that mission she was on in the black trailer was actually her with them, but her separating herself from the train was her literally and metaphorically cutting ties with them. she no longer believes in their methods, so she became a huntress to join in the fight for equality in a different way.

I HOPE THAT HELPS CLEAR SOME THINGS UP!

[rafesmuse]

alright i’ll be sure to drop some hcs whenever i can, but always let me know if you need a pick me up too! the movie one is so strong in my head i’d probably drop a small blurb in the inbox 😂

literally, my music library is all over the place. i’d have kpop, songs from the 2000s, movie soundtracks and even classical ones! but i’m always open to listening to new genres :) i’m doing okay so far, just woke up and first thing i did was check your page hehehe. is there any particular reason you’re not looking forward to your birthday? (no need to share if it’s too personal) besides that, i hope you are feeling somewhat refreshed and motivated to continue studying (WITH BREAKS IN BETWEEN!! AND WATER!!). just think that when your exams finish, your free and stranger things vol.2 will be out to reward you of your hard efforts 😊

also yes, i literally devoured the eddie fic and i am swooning. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS ROLLING AROUND SQUEALING INTO MY PILLOWS AHHHHHHH HE’S SO SOFT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 🥺❤️ YOUR WRITING MAKES ME MELT BECAUSE HE IS SOFT BOI 🥹 but yes, i can tell it was a wee bit rushed. please take this feedback as constructive criticism, and not as an insult, but i think pacing is key for really intimate moments like this (especially if it’s the readers first). even if it means writing a lot more to build up to the climax (👀), it should be relevant to the experience being told. usually my go to is the five senses; expanding on them for the reader to feel the story. for an example, emphasise how much Eddie has been crushing on reader - would his touch be more gentle, but restraint due to his longing? what other sounds were being made in the room? by writing more upon the five senses, it creates tension and anticipation between the characters, and furthermore to the reader. idk if my feedback makes any sense/helps at all, but this is my penny for thought. i still enjoyed this fic regardless and hopeful to read more in the future :)) - 🌙

i’m so so sorry for my late reply!!! ): and please please i’m begging you give me some more hcs because my exam is in less than 2 days 😵‍💫

it’s so so cute that the first thing you did was checking my page 🥹 now i feel even worse for responding so late AAAH </3 oh and to answer your question about my bday, i just HATE having all the attention on me ☹️ i just feel like i don’t deserve it you know, all the love, attention and presents and id much rather give it all to someone else, that’s why i always look forward to other people’s birthdays lmao 😭 yes volume 2 will be out on the exact day that i have my last exam so i’m really looking forward to it!! i’m also thinking about rewatching everything because i don’t remember anything from season 1 and 2

thank you so much for the feedback, im glad you enjoyed it at least a bit though 😵‍💫 i 100% know everything i did wrong, i was too stressed with school and more focused on finishing the fic than actually writing it and the stress made it worse, so ive decided to take a break from writing because i makes me so sad that my fics are getting worse because of everything ): i should just take the time again to write it without all the pressure, but i’ll def keep everything you’ve said in mind!! im usually really bad with criticism like really bad but in the end, i really do appreciate it and im so thankful that you at least gave some compliments as well 😭💞💓💗

[sollucets]

watch & rewatch drama list 💜✨

i saw a couple mutuals do it….. i yearn to be included im so good at talking too much

actually airing shows -

💜💜💜 midnight museum - frankly i don’t actually care what it is specifically going on between dome and khatha at this point. i mean, i’m into whatever it is, but i dont care how it turns out i’m in too deep already. this show invaded my brain i really really like it so far. the aesthetic and music are gorgeous & khatha is my newest pathetic lil meowmeow. i also especially like the fucked up extra eyes animal boys & june’s pretty dress and general aura

💜 bed friend - i watch this for extremely shallow reasons and i’m unafraid to admit it. i like seeing everyone’s neat meta & the pretty gifs but i Cannot Take uea’s backstory, like at all, so i just preview slider through to places where netjames are especially pretty. and they are so pretty

other stuff -

💜💜 i am trying to watch atots, since the concept didnt originally interest me but mlc gave me Mix Enjoyer status. i started the first episode two days ago but got distracted im bad. ill get there i really am interested now

💜 i rewatched the entirety of my school president over the last few days explicitly for the sake of my mental health. i love them i love them im cradling them in my hands like a precious thing

💜 i always have the eclipse open in my tabs, partially for reference bc of working on on our way up and partially For Me, because if i dont look at aye at least once a day i wither like a neglected plant

on the ‘when i’ve got the brainpower’ list -

💜💜 utsukushii kare - [dreamily] they look soooooo fucked up

💜 gotta go through between us again so someday i’ll finish my 5+1 / before winteam week

looking forward to -

💜💜💜💜 you guys probably already know this but im so extremely unhinged about only friends. like i think half of the million trailer views are just me. i know nearly all the words to ‘i’m not boring youre just bored’. i want san to hit Me with the baseball bat. and again, reiterating that my most fervent desire after seeing that relationship chart p’jojo put out is for firstmark to kiss at least once so first can complete his 98 line collection. please i need it ill never ask for anything again (lying)

💜 im about as excited abt the eclipse our skyy episode as i hope it doesnt come out soon, because i want oowu to be finished first. the others im excited for too but especially that one you know who i am. those bts pictures made me emo i want them to be so happy

and now u know :)

[dirtydancingdean]

✨ fic recs ✨

ok so back in like 2014 i watched supernatural for a solid 3 years until they killed kevin and charlie and i got bored of the bmol storyline. now im here again let’s not talk about it. BUT during this time i accumulated a Lot of fic and in the past two months i’ve gone through all 213 of my bookmarks and gone through like every rec list made after s12 in order to read fic set during every specific season while i rewatch the show. because im insane <3 im on s8 rn and wanted to share my list of favourites from each season so far as well as my favourite aus ! they’re all generally nsfw so minors be careful, and also check the warnings ! and i will update this when i finish s15 <3

aus

asunder by rageprufrock (23.8k, e, background samruby)

obviously the most perfect thing to ever exist. 

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (56k, m, background saileen)

poet dean fic need i say more. part dean studies if dean studies was elaborated on lovingly in detail for 56k words, part gorgeous and beautiful poetry, part incredibly clever commentary on meta and fan allusions, and part stunning exploration of the relationships in the show turned on their heads.  

one white little lie by komodobits (11k, gen)

this is SOOO cute. cas is so embarrassing i was covering my face the entire time i was reading it. if u want to be cheered up. read this. 

broadway musical by griftings (12k, m)

this is genuinely sooo funny. big “castiel did you fuck the michael sword” energy and jimmy novak as that “am not against gays” tweet, plus jo <3

c-s-t-l by komodobits (90k, m)

i haven't read this in a while but from what i remember it was incredible and also had cassie <3 

rest is under the cut because it got long fhjfkfklf

pre-series/season 1-3*

a turn of the earth by microcomets (time travel, 95k, standford era, m)

i think everyone’s read this at this point but if u haven't. what are u doing. go read it. it’s absolutely everything i reread it in the week before the finale without remembering half of the stuff it talked about and i was a WRECK. if u think about standford era dean every day read this. cas punches john winchester in the FACE. 

geography by aeli_kindara (3k, teen and up, warnings for discussion of rape/non-con and prostitution)

not dean/cas but a really wonderful and needed conversation with sam and dean during 2x02.

season 4

so says the sword by komodobits (85k, e)

yeah. i dont need to say anything.  

consequences of falling by fayjay (37k, e, background samruby, warnings for rape/non-con)

THISSSS FIC. pls it’s perfect literally everything i wanted when i was watching s4 and obsessed with love as an act of worship + ruby and cas parallels. ruby and cas get drunk together! ruby says this: “dean and castiel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the fall from grace, then comes battling the hosts of hell and wishing that you’d managed to get your skinny ass laid before the freaking apocalypse”! what more could u want!

named by rc_machlan (94k, m)

literally the best fic in the world i am not going to say Anything if you love dean and angels and the mythology of s4-s5 that was promptly dropped, you absolutely have to read this.

four people ruby seduced & one she actually fell for (or: ruby's epic love affair with humanity in general and sam in specific) by tuesday (3.7k, e, samruby, ruby/jo)

this is more background deancas than anything else and does contain brief, not romantic in any way dean/ruby and dean/cas, but like. if u love ruby (which i do) u have to read this.

season 5

final fantasy by orange_crushed (1.9k, m)

endverse.....this made me want to die

the (mostly accidental) courtship of dean winchester by tuesday (11k, m)

a classic for a reason. really cute and soft and the handprint and cas beating dean up in 5x18 are angelic marriage rites. what more could you ask for.

the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock (15k, explicit)

of Course i mean of COURSE. thee s5 deancas fic.

strike me down and i’ll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine by trinityofone (10k, gen)

post 5x22 dean and cas rescue sam from hell with the help of some special guests. PERFECT. the only valid good omens crossover.

season 6**

something stupid by zatnikatel (20k, e)

this broke my heart and put it back together. one of my favourite cas characterizations, takes place over s5-s6 and it’s just stunning. 

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (11k, teen and up)

s4 cas ends up in the body of cas in 6x20. fucking life-ruining.

season 7

make known by domesticadventures (16k, teen and up)

this is a really heartbreaking look at dean’s headspace near the end of s6 and throughout s7, and it’s really wonderful with a hopeful ending.

redemption road by a whole bunch of people (652k, virtual season, explicit)

oh boy. ok. know ur herstory ! this was written from 2011 to 2012 and it is thee s7 fic, a virtual season written by 17 fans all together. it’s very very long and it suffers sometimes from having being written a decade ago, but im making my way through it right now and it still fucking holds up. i really do recommend reading at least some of it, you can stop around halfway through and you should be fine.

season 8***

rinse, repeat by ias (3k, teen and up)

exploration of cas when naomi forces him to kill copies of dean and then his perspective in goodbye stranger.

my keeper by whelvenwings (5k, gen)

another goodbye stranger fic, this time with bonus artist cas!

though the course may change by imogenbynight (51k, e)

au after 8x23. i love this fic so much. dean accidentally ends up making himself have to go undercover with cas and pretend to be fake engaged. also, charlie and kevin. do i need to say more.

apres by imogenbynight (24k, e)

au after 8x23 where dean goes to find cas after the angels fall in paris 🥺

*i have found exactly one bela fic that i loved, and zero henriksen fics that i loved, so IF u have recs for those. i would appreciate that.

**mostly the s6 fics i read were uh...vampire dean fics...

***have found one (1) good dean/aaron fic but im still searching for the perfect purgatory crew fics 

[kimberly-spirits13]

Body Swap HC (Request) Batboys x reader (Gender N.)

Dick Grayson:

Suddenly Dick just wakes up

In some lavish hotel that happens to be in the same place as where you’re touring 

there’s a massive oh shit moment and then it’s like OH SHIT IM A SUPER STAR TODAY 

that totally doesn’t go to his head at all for a few seconds and then he realizes that he CANNOT ruin your reputation at all at this point 

so he tries to start rewatching the clips of your performances to learn the choreography 

that's when you wake up without an alarm panicked and freaking out 

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING 

Jason comes running into the room and you scream covering yourself 

“Y/N?!?”

“Wait how’d you know?” 

“Dick screeches not yells.” 

“So you’re saying I’m more of a man that- never mind, how the hell do we fix this before my show?” 

You’re taken down to the cave where the forces of Constantine and Zatanna are called 

they try for hours and hours so that you’re able to get to your body again 

That's when they find that they need the two of you together 

So Constantine zaps Dick from New York to Gotham to finish this quickly 

“What the fuck is happeni- on hey me- I mean.... Y/N... Right?”

“Yeah.”

So you finally have it fixed and you’re back to the stadium right as you’re coming on

“Y/N WAIT!” 

Z comes and basically transforms you into your stage clothes and you run up to the stage for your performance right on time 

You do find however that Dick was prancing and walking around in costumes dancing to pop music 

Jason Todd:

What the fuck

He wakes up in your apartment suddenly and doesn’t remember anything that happened the night before

Which isn’t normal at all considering he typically always remember the patrol at least

What’s more startling is when he can’t find you

In your own apartment?

He walks into the bathroom and it all makes .... less sense but like okay now this is why you aren’t here

So now he’s gotta find you and how to fix it

He goes to the cave and the sensors recognize him as you

“Hey Y/N, your swords are here, you left them last night?” Dick came in and handed them to him

“Uh, so where’s Y- Jason? Where’s Jason?”

“Hasn’t woken up yet.”

Well then

Just as Jason is about to head upstairs, he gets a distress signal on your phone

So of course he goes to it cause this can wait since he’s pretty sure it’s not life threatening

So he goes and finds that there’s some people that have issue with you and your line of work

Does he kick their asses just cause he can and has unresolved anger caused by the nights you almost died coming home cause of them

Yes, yes he does

That’s when he gets a call from you on his phone and goes back to the manor to get this sorted out

“Who did this?”

“Former teammate gone rouge. He’s an idiot” you said coming in with a charm to switch the bodies

Once back, Jason’s relieved cause that was weird

Oh he also makes sure you know about the distress signal and all of that

Tim Drake:

This boy wasn’t ready to wake up in Stark Tower

Not at all

No one prepared him for Black Widow coming in and waking him- you up

Uhhhhh “Hey .... ms. Natasha, there’s something wrong

“Ms. Natasha? TIM?”

Uh yeah so that starts the whole issue of trying to find you

He calls you on your phone and you get a call from yourself

On Tim’s phone

Wait a seconnddddd

And then you realize and come running downstairs

“RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON COME HERE NOW”

Idk why Dick gets roped into this he just does

Once everyone’s caught up to speed you have to find Tim so you call him back

“Hey Timmy, where are you right now?”

“Stark Tower. Where are you? Manor I presume?”

“Correct. Don’t move, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” 

You arrive at the tower and are let in by your dad 

Tony leads you to his lab where Tim is in your body still in pajamas 

You’re both in pajamas still but that doesn’t matter 

Your dad has a bit of trouble getting the transformer machine to work so you help him

He finds it weird that you’re switched and wants to change it as fast as possible 

The man finally figures it out as Tim sits back and watches you and your father working this out 

Finally he works it out and you two give your phones back 

You just go back to your room with him and go back to sleep since you two need to be together incase it happens again

That means SLEEP

finally 

I wanna sleep 

Damian Wayne:

You’re a magic user like Zatanna or Constantine 

Basically what happens is Damian keeps up at how magic must not be that bad and difficult and eventually after enough pestering, you let him go through a spell book

Under his breath he tries it and it does work the way that he intended it to

See the spell wasn't supposed to transfer your minds into each other’s bodies

It was just supposed to teleport you to him 

Na man 

It doesn’t work immediately and he decides that he’ll say nothing about this since he doesn’t want you to tease him for not being able to do it 

That is until you suddenly start feeling super strange one night on patrol while you’re out and Damian is training in the cave 

He falls to his knees (same as you) and you’re both switched

Bruce turns around to see Damian (now you) straight struggling and comes over to you

“Uh... B? How’d I get here?”

“Okay which one of the boys are you now?”

“I’m Y/N....?”

“What did Damian do?”

“Probably fucked up one of my spells.” 

Bruce gets into your comm and contacts Damian who is now feeling the repercussions of this spell

You’re already upstairs getting your spell books, trying to find a solution to the problem

You’re not wanting to call Constantine or any of your mentors since you’re pretty sure that this has happened before and you’ve had to fix it 

not with Damian but this kind of thing isn’t new

“Alright genius show me which spell you messed up.” 

Damian comes and huffs next to you still in your body and finds the page in the book

“Ohhhhhh that’s not good.” you throw your head back and grumble 

“Why’d you have to mess up one of the most advanced spells in the book?”

Before Damian can question you, you’re preforming the counter spell of the body swap spell that he preforms 

it drains all of the energy out of you and as soon as you’re finished and the body swap is complete, you’re out of it for the night 

Damian rushes to catch you in case you fall, but you catch your balance on the counter top of the cave

“Now, you wanna not question me when I complain about a spell being difficult now?”

Damian just rolls his eyes and mutters an apology but feels bad as you two walk up the stairs to head to sleep

That’s the last time he tries to undermine magic 

[larentsaloud]

holding myself accountable ie ADHD guide to watching dramas:

korea:

What’s wrong with secretary Kim (three more ep to watch)

LOST 2021 (ONLY THE BEST SHOW TO EVER EXIST???? )

Romance is a bonus book (one more ep to watch)

Just between lovers (actually the writing here is superb. must go back)

Lucky romance (and again I clocked out around the 12th)

She was pretty (yep I waved them goodbye at ep 12)

Memories of Alhambra (almost to the end...almost)

I am not a robot (umm...you guessed it. ep 7 I think)

Coffee Prince (YES MY BABIES. I think I completed this one)

Www search (SO GOOD. the cast the female energy is SPOT ON. did I finish it? no.)

Emergency couple (finished and rewatched!!!!)

I married an anti fan (dropped out ep 12)

Crash landing onto you (I have three more episodes to watch)

Bride of Habaek (love this so much but also spoilers there is a scene in later ep where they do the THING and it took me OUT. did not complete the series.)

Uncontrollably Fond (watched almost to the end, but not finished it for ‘reasons’)

Pinocchio (got half way through) 

Oh my Venus (did not finish, left at penultimate ep)

Squid game (watched 5 ep)

Flower of evil (dropped out at penultimate ep, but amazing series must finish it) 

Meteor garden (half way because I fell in love with the cast if not for that would have stopped sooner)

Boys over flowers (I managed to cram about 16 ep but then angst happened and I needed space)

Secret garden (half way thru)

Mad dog (half way thru)

The king the eternal monarch (three quarters in)

Where the camellia blooms (could not stand it watched two ep)

1% of something (amazing chemistry yes half way in)

Jumping girl (I sort of want to watch it??? first ep)

Hello me! (such good series but I cannot finish iiiittt)

Do you like Brahms (I FINISHED IT I LOVED IT SO MUCH)

Cheese in the trap (I FINISHED IT I HATED IT SO MUCH)

Suspicious partner ( I could not finish it. pray for me)

Healer (same)

K2 (yep)

Crowned clown (you guessed it)

Rookie historian (yeah...)

Home town cha cha cha (dropped out on ep 15 because well. idk)

Dol Sol (I FINISHED IT AND HATED THE ENDING WHY DID YOU DO ME LIKE THAT???)

Devilish joy (I love their chemistry they were incredibleeeeee. did not finish. looked like traumatising ending too scared)

Into the ring (yaaay my fave couple. did not finish it. not enough angst.)

Tale of the nine tailed (too much angst)

My roommate is a Gumiho (ANGST PERSONIFIED)

Vagabond (UGH. need to finish. such good series)

I’ll go to you when the weather is nice (literally love the cinematography but,,)

Doom at your service (ANGST IN YOUR FACE. uff. too perplexing. loved it. best kiss YET.)

Kill me heal me (lmao, I did not finish it because she screamed so much but HIS ACTING)

Mask (oh yeah this is amazing. should see how it pans out. love the actors)

Secret love (I COMPLETED THIS AND THIS SHOW BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEEEESSS ARGH I LOVED IT SO MUCH AKSJSKJSAJKD)

Take of nokdu (IN LOVE. MUST GO BACK)

Marriage not dating (so funny if you want FUN this is it. they are both so yummy. did not get to the ending but would recommend)

Blood (OHHHHH. if only there was less blood)

Descendants of the sun (ok but how can anyone watch this without enrolling to medical school to meet HIM?)

Weight lifting fairy (I love it? I do. I just...yeah)

Korean odyssey (my god. why won't they kiss properly I cannot take it)

Come and hug me (these two own my heart. too much to handle tbh)

Beautiful Kong Min Shi (such an underrated show. yes. but also no)

Masters Sun (please how can anyone like this its so 90s Buffy. I mean I leak Buffy. but also wtf)

Behind your smile (???)

Falling into innocence (YES but then he cut his hair so I left. im fickle)

Abbys (they were lush together amazing plot amazing everything I did not get to the end. little predictable for ADHD. not enough angst. you need the right amount of angst.)

W— two worlds apart (I love them together ok? but I could not get there)

You are my spring (a bit??? dunno)

It’s ok not to be ok (my early K drama! did I finish it? no)

My love from another star 

While you were sleeping (great story I just didn't like their chemistry) 

You are beautiful (ahaha the 2010 hair) 

That winter the wind blows (they are mesmerising together I just have too many feelings about the bro and sis situation help) 

Red sleeve ( I found out about the ending. glad I did not finish it)

Lawless Lawyer (THIS SHOW PLS WATCH IT. I should too. ep7)

Touch your heart (I love them <3 did not finish it)

True beauty (I don't remember???)

My shy boss ( amazing showww, one more ep I think)

Cinderella and four knights (why why why did you not let her end up with the SL. you got it wrong show no.)

Love alarm (FUCK YOU TO THE WRITERS. FUCK OFF. NO. THIS IS WHY I DONT WATCH THE ENDINGS. YOU DO THIS TO ME?????)

You are my destiny (LOVED THE KOREAN VERSION)

Because this is my first life (MY COMFORT SHOW WILL NEVER BE OVER IT)

Don’t dare to dream (the triangle was ridiculous. but the KISSINGGGG)

Run On (should I watch to the end? kinda like it)

Nevertheless (aghsakhjdjakhasjkhsdajhk YES WITH MY WHOLE CHEST I REWATCHED IT ABOUT THOUSAND TIMES ONLY)

Mysterious Love (OH YES. BUT HARD TO COMPLETE might the c drama)

Vincenzo (WELL STILL NOT WATCHED IT TO THE END PRAY FOR ME)

My name (I don't know?)

Itaewon class (oh yeah, I like this but also I don’t?)

Heirs (meh? I was rooting for the wrong characters damn it)

Healer (did not see the ending)

Goblin (could not bring myself to see the ending)

Dali and the cocky prince (meh? ep 8)

Stranger (this show is so goooooooood why did I not watch the second series yettt)

Blood (too much blood)

Crowned clown (oh...yeah)

Navillera (so good if only I can get past ep 8)

When my love blooms (no idea what this was)

Happiness (love love love but also too scared to go back and watch)

Let me be your knight (my fav actor! yes!)

Now we are breaking up (meh)

Madame Antoine (BEST BEST BEST BICKERING ALERT)

Imitation (HER HAIR PLS I WILL CRY.NO)

Love: ft Marriage & divorce (...)

VIP (mom forced me to watch it. did not

Where the stars land (love them <3 will finish this one actually) 

Monthly magazine home (YES great drama will try to get there)

Hotel del luna (currently watching)

Mermaid one with lee min ho (YESSSSSS watched over and over)

Yumi’s cells ( great casting. great story. dropped ep 6)

I have a lover (dear god this show was all the cliches and I actually love to hate it) 

Strong girl (ugh I could not finish this guys)

thai:

Tharn Type (yeah fine I didn't)

2gether (same as above)

Bad Buddy (yep)

You are my sky (aksjhdsakjh)

F4 (I will love this show until the day I die, it will be on my grave) 

bromance (the best gender bender out there)

China

Put your head on my shoulder (??? I literally remember nothing. dropped early)

Falling into your smile (idk. they are so pretty but thousand episodes not something I can do)

Find yourself (hated the second ML. sorry)

Please feel at ease Mr Ling (hmmm, too much like other shows)

My unicorn girl (MY FAV C DRAMA<3)

Love me if you dare (if only I could watch this show. I do love the cast tho)

Across the ocean to see you (lovely show. lemme try to watch again)

To fly with you (YES)

Skate into love (loved) 

Why women love ( currently watching) 

Japan 

My beautiful man (will rewatch forever) 

Case of Incurable Love (almost almost finished it and loved it)

Mischevious Kiss (Tokyo) (ooooh I should finish this its so cute y'all) 

From five to nine (this show is on crack I love it) 

My love mix up (adorable) 

Hana- kimi ( I love gender benderssss)

Coffee and Vanilla ( wtf was this I had question marks the whole time)

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Bokuto and Kuroo reacting to their s/o collapsing

“bokuto and kuroo with an s/o who passed out mid volleyball matxh? like shes playing a game and over worked herself and just kinda passes out?” -anon

Wow i should also rewatch haikyuu to get their personalities better shouldnt I? Definetly made bokuto more dramatic than he is(or did i? idk anymore)

Kuroo:

Kuroo watches your games as much as possible and you do the same

If he’s not busy with practice or his own games he’ll stop by to watch

Currently he was standing by the gym doors watching your team play

And you were winning too!

Though Kuroo noticed somethin was up

Yes playing sports was tiring but you seemed a bit too tired for his liking

Seeing you breathing super hard and slow movements inside his head he was growing more and more concerned

‘Why isn’t the coach taking her out? She’s clearly beyond exhausted!’

“One touch!” your teammates yelled

Kuroo watched as you looked up at the ball, managed to take two steps before completely falling limp

Immediately the whistle is called

Kuroo does not care anymore and jumps over the small borders and runs to your side

If you had collided with someone he’d wait till your out of the court but how could he just ignore you when you full on collapsed??

He doesn’t necessarily push anyone out of the way, but he does make sure hes immediately next to you

“Y/n! Hey!” He yells holding your hand

Hes too scared to actually move you around 

His thoughts are a complete mess 

Kuroo may look simply wide eyed outside but he was screaming and freaking out inside

How could you just collapse like that? Are you okay? Is this normal?? You ARE still breathing right?!

The coach tells him to give you room to breath along with the other students and so they listen

He may have snapped a bit at the coach for not taking you out when you clearly were exhausted

By the time the doctors are running in you wake up and look around confused but still exhausted

“Huh? What happened??”

In a flash your pulled into a hug by Kuroo

“Tetsu? Why are you in the court?”

The medics take you away from the court and kuroo follows and explains everything that happened

Your not allowed to play for the rest of the game which makes you upset but you understand

You realize kuroo has been oddly silent

“Tetsu?”

“Do you realize how scary it was? To see someone you love randomly collapse in front of you? And having no clue what to do??” he says hugging you once again

You reassure him that your okay and give him plenty of kisses

After that he gives a very very long lecture on how you shouldn't over exert yourself like that again and why its so dangerous for you

He’ll eventually make light hearted jokes about it before games 

“Try not to pass out again” “tetsu that was one time!”

Bokuto(featuring Akaashi):

Similar to Kuroo, he’d do his best to watch every game

And boy is he a huge fan boy

Probably has a headband with your name on it and screams into a plastic cone

“GO GO Y/N!! LETS GOO!” 

Over all extremely hyped seeing you guys play

If you guys lose he’ll probably cry too

He had just finished his own game and immediately went to watch yours 

He was still covered in sweat and wearing his jersey but that didn’t stop him from very loudly cheering you own

It doesn’t matter what position you play, setter, spiker(he will extremely over the top hyped if your a fellow spiker),blocker or libero he will cheer you on like your in nationals

Akaashi had joined him to watch your games and this is one of those times

You cant date bokuto and not be friends with Akaashi sorry

“Doesn’t l/n-san seem pretty tired?” akaashi commented and bokuto simply smiled

“Well she is doing her best! She’s the number one player after all!” He said in a confident tone before going back to cheering you

Though bokuto did notice you were starting to look tired, he simply thought it was because you have yet to be swapped out with someone

Currently, you and the other team was going through a very very long ralley and every time the ball was hit Bokuto shook Akaashi around, eager to see the outcome of this rally

You guys managed to spike it down on their side and he let out a very loud cheer

But a sudden thunk made the court go silence

Watching you fall over bokuto swore his world literally shattered

The color from everything vanished and was replaced with a gray hue

Akaashi didn’t even have time to react to bokuto’s yell of your name

Bokuto took a fast bolt to your side and was literally sobbing as he clutched you in his chest

“Bokuto-san! You need to let the officials handle th--” “Y/N!!! DONT DIE ON MEE” he screamed shaking you around with tears just flooding out of his eyes

It took a teacher and akaashi to pull him away from you and oh my gosh he was just max depressed

Sitting outside the nurses office, It only took a few minutes for you to wake up and it took all of akaashi’s strength to hold bokuto back from tackling you into the floor

You had just woken up you don’t need to be knocked out again

Once the nurse and doctor clears you up, akaashi released bokuto and he just glomps onto you

Crying and sobbing he brings you into a tight hug as he nuzzles his teary and snotty face into your neck

“I-I thought you had diieed!” He sobbed and you could only quietly sush him and rub his back

“Are you alright l/n-san?” “I think so, the nurse told me im not allowed to play for the rest of todays game or next practice. Just need to rest and drink water and i’ll be okay” “Well thats good”

“Y/n-chaaan please never leave me!!” bokuto cries more

In the end its you consoling and taking care of bokuto instead of the other way around

[bbugyu]

finding something to do + kim mingyu

you had spent your better years bored with mingyu, and he thought holding your hand felt like holding his fleeting youth.

wc.4088 | almost smut, mostly fluff, friends to lovers/uni au, fem reader, that one trope where there is mutual pining but both of them think the other is gay, maybe like half an ounce of angst if you squint Really Hard, lots o swears

i usually make my fics hella neutral as far as gender and size and orientation goes but hahahaha this ones for the average sized bi girls! also just realized that i stopped using capitalization in my fics and yk what? im fine with it. this fic is based off of the song of the same name by hellogoodbye.

*

“stop honking, other people live here.”

mingyu grinned at you through the half-open passenger window, leaning over to pop open the door. the handle had never recovered from a giant cup of soda crashing into the side of his ride in the middle of a particularly rowdy summer shenanigan, the sticky substance soaking into the mechanics before he had gotten the chance to hose it down in a friend's driveway at 2am. now, you had to wait for him to open it from the inside on all future shenanigans, and you could only roll the window down half way, lest you have to laugh at mingyu aggressively pulling on the window between his palms as you pulled on the motorized switch to coerce it back into the closed position. you slid into the co-pilot seat and looked over to your best friend.

"if you answered your texts i wouldn't have to honk."

you rolled your eyes, tugging on the seatbelt. "go, gyu."

he laughed and shifted into drive, turning up his stereo as he pulled away from your apartment building, hand returning to the stick to shift up a gear. "thanks for coming."

"what else was i gonna do?" you slipped the slides off your socked feet and pulled your legs to sit cross-legged. "i finished rewatching avatar."

"study, maybe?"

you looked at him. he was right, finals were right around the corner, but you had an uncharacteristically light load this quarter (due to you not realizing you needed approval for one course before registration and it filling before you could sign up) and you weren't too worried about the three tests you would have to take in a couple weeks. "could say the same to you."

mingyu let out another laugh, suddenly singing along to the song as he ran a hand through his hair. you smiled at his profile, then pulled out your phone to update your instagram story. as you moved the camera over to mingyu from the streetlight-lit road ahead of you, he laughed midway through a lyric and practically yelled "mwoya" at you, gripping the wheel with both hands and jumping in his seat. 

you laughed hysterically, frantically saving the video before pointing the screen at him. he turned down the music to watch it, eyes flickering between your phone and the road. he laughed at the way it cut off on both of you screaming. "what was that?"

you giggled, swiping through filters. "you being dumb."

"you love me."

"you're right."

mingyu smiled at that, adjusting the stereo volume again, bobbing his head to the rhythm as he drove to the one convenience store in your town that sold his favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream, a mission he had called upon you for at 11:30pm. when it switched over to a song you knew, mingyu noticed your subconscious humming to the tune and a few lyrics falling out of your lips, the wind from the open window whipping through your hair.

by the time you reached a small parking lot across town, you had yawned probably half a dozen times.

"tired?" mingyu pouted as he rolled up the windows and unbuckled his seatbelt. "sorry for dragging you out."

you shook your head, following suit and pulling yourself out of the car. "i slept too late, i think. i'll be fine."

you followed mingyu across the quiet street to the convenience store the two of you frequented perhaps too often, finding yourself there after late night study sessions or mid-barhop for ramen, snacks, and most importantly, the mint choco ice cream bar of mingyu's affections.

after perusing the options as if you hadn't been there earlier in the week, you picked out an ice cream bar as well as a couple bags of chips. you walked up behind mingyu at the register as he was pulling out his wallet.

"i'll pay if you come over and play smash," he said, nodding at your hands full of snacks.

you eyed him. "what's the catch?"

"you can't be mad when i play meta knight."

you groaned, but put your things on the counter for the cashier that was likely the same age as you both to scan. "fine. i'll still beat you."

mingyu grinned at you, and you snagged your ice cream bar off the counter as he paid, the other snacks getting put in a plastic bag. you grabbed the bag and held it open as mingyu retrieved his own ice cream, both of you peeling them open as you exited the convenience store.

"mm," you let out, mouth full of ice cream as you leaned against the metal bar meant to lock up bikes on the sidewalk. "it's nice out tonight."

mingyu agreed, biting into his treat. "it's refreshing but not too cold."

you nodded, watching cars pass on the street. "i can't believe it's almost summer already."

"me neither," he said, squatting in front of you as he ate. "we're gonna be seniors next year."

you groaned. "have you decided if you're doing summer quarter?"

he shook his head. "i decided against it. i only really have to take one extra course next year so it didn't feel worth it."

you nodded, looking down at him. he was looking to his left, absentmindedly watching someone walk their dog across the street.

after the ice cream was finished and you threw away your wrappers, mingyu cursed slightly at the fact that he still managed to get his finger sticky despite doing his best to avoid meltage. after he popped open your door, he dug in the glovebox for some wet naps, playfully knocking your knees aside as you tried to sit. you laughed, waiting for him to be done so you could put the bag of snacks on the floor in front of you.

when you met mingyu sophomore year, your hair was shorter and he was blonde. he had sat next to you in your shared ecology lab and promptly fell asleep before the class had even started, and you had to nudge him awake when the professor was handing out the syllabus. 

"gah, fuck, i'm up," he waved a massive hand in your face, blinking away his sleep before focusing on you with furrowed brows. "you're not seokmin."

seokmin was his roommate, you learned, and also met a few weeks later when you went over to their dorm to work on assignments together. they've since upgraded to a compact but efficient three bedroom apartment and acquired another roommate. you stared out the window into the night sky as mingyu drove to said apartment, blinking heavily at the lure of a nap. you pulled your knees up to your chest and tried to listen to the song playing from the stereo.

only moments later, mingyu glanced over and noticed that your eyes had fluttered shut, your head lolling against the window. he wondered, staring at you in awe, how much longer he could pretend he wasn't in love with you.

when you and mingyu had first gotten to know each other, you admittedly had a bit of a crush on him, until you found out he had a boyfriend. even after they split almost four months later, and you had been there to bring him chicken and beer while he fumbled with the drawstrings of his sweatpants and rubbed his swollen eyes with the back of his hand, you decidedly resigned any feelings for him, knowing it was a lost cause for you to pine after a guy that didn't even like girls. hell, you barely even liked boys - you had gone on dates with six different girls, yet not a single guy since you came to university, and mingyu had sat on your bed while you tried to get ready, giving a concise "try again" when you showed him an oversized sweatshirt.

"why not this?" you asked, groaning.

"you have good proportions, bitch. show 'em off."

rolling your eyes, you rooted around in your closet for something less shapeless. your style had always skewed a little athletic, a little hip-hop. you bought mostly mens fit shirts, making the task slightly more difficult. you found a nice pair of high waisted jeans you hadn't worn in a while and paired it with a drop shoulder tee and a turtleneck, finally getting the approval of your best friend.

all of the facts laid in front of him led mingyu to believe you were completely and utterly gay, and even if you weren't, your taste in women suggested he was the exact opposite of your type. you liked petite girls. girls with long hair and that wore skirts and lots of rings. the kind of girls that you had to lean down to kiss. 

so he continued to try out the pool of eligible bachelors in your area that were within a respectable age range. he had even tried to date some girls, but every time they tried to suggest the dates go further, he would think of the way his best friend's fingers had sent electricity through his entire body just by brushing an eyelash off his lip, or how you would trace the veins that ran through his wrist as you watched a movie together on your couch. the way your touch set his skin on fire. the way he wished he could just admit the way he felt about you. 

he always smiled and said he'd call them sometime. he never did. it wasn't fair to them, but neither was him only ever asking them out because they reminded him of you somehow.

guys were easier, he thought. they didn't remind him of you.

mingyu was so caught up in the sight of you sleeping that he absolutely ran a red. he cursed under his breath when he realized the light he was passing under had been yellow for longer than he had thought, thinking how lucky he was that the cross street was empty. good thing he was almost home.

"hey, sleepyhead," he said when you stretched suddenly as he pulled into his parking spot. "do you wanna go home?"

you shook your head, yawning. "no, i need to eat chips."

he laughed and killed the engine. "you left a pair of house shorts here and you can borrow a shirt," he said, suggesting you crash in his bed when you got too tired for smash.

"what, you don't wanna carry me home?"

mingyu slammed the car door shut and shoved his hand in his pocket. "i'd rather not, no."

you stretched again, a hand reaching out to ruffle his dark hair as he tried to punch in the door code for you to enter his building. "mean."

he laughed at you again, leading you up the three flights of stairs to his apartment.

"hey, minghao," you said, waving at the shadowy figure that was seemingly melting into the couch, illuminated by the tv.

he raised a hand in acknowledgment, sitting with his neck at a 90 degree angle, a movie with subtitles on, and his phone face down on his chest. "yo."

"wanna play smash?" mingyu asked.

"no thanks."

mingyu dropped his keys on the kitchen counter. "we're playing smash."

"you're funny."

you laughed, and mingyu pouted. "please, myungho?"

minghao finally looked at his roommate. "i'm watching annihilation. the switch is handheld for a reason."

you watched mingyu roll his eyes with a smirk on your lips. he went over to the switch dock by the tv and grabbed the console, sticking his tongue out at hao. you giggled, following mingyu down the short hall to his room as minghao waved you both off.

"have i said that i like hao a lot?"

"yes," mingyu said. "like, every time you come over."

you smiled, throwing open his dresser and carding through the shirts that would surely be massive on you. "well i do."

the switch got tossed onto his bed and he sneaked around you to grab a pair of sweatpants from the drawer above the one you were looking in. he also pulled out the pair of shorts you had left, putting them on top of the dresser. "i'm getting naked now."

you shook your head lightly, knowing he was only changing his pants, but kept your back to him out of respect anyways. you picked up the shorts. "did you wash these?"

"yeah, i threw 'em in with my laundry last week."

you nodded, spotting the color you had been looking for. "aha!" you pulled on the ashy gray shirt, revealing one of your favorite things you had ever convinced mingyu to buy. an extremely soft, lightly distressed shirt with a tasteful rip along the neckline. "i'm getting naked now."

"clear," mingyu said, letting you know he wasn't looking as he flopped onto his bed, propping up the switch on his bedside table and setting up the controllers.

you pulled off your loose sweatshirt and swapped it for the borrowed shirt, then shoved the denim shorts down your legs, laughing lightly at how your sleep shorts completely disappeared under the shirt. you turned around, stretching out your arms to show how large the shirt was on you. "look."

mingyu rolled onto his back and propped himself on an elbow to look at you, giggling as you swam in his shirt. outwardly, he smiled, but internally, he thought this was simultaneously the worst and best idea he had ever had.

you looked absolutely stunning in his clothes, he thought, but only said that you were cute. he ignored the familiar feeling in his stomach and handed you a controller as you crawled onto his bed, settling on your stomach next to him.

he had to stop putting himself in this position. you were far too pretty for him to forget his feelings towards you.

but maybe that's what he wanted. maybe he didn't want to forget his feelings. maybe the few times you had told him his dates were attractive weren't just objective reassurances. maybe he held onto the sliver of hope that you could possibly be attracted to him, too.

you slammed your face into the bed as the game loaded. "why are all switch load times utter ass?"

mingyu adjusted so that he was laying on his side with an arm propping him up and flicked the back of your head. "because the console can fit in my palm."

your hand went up to swat at the culprit of the flick, and you pouted as you lifted your head to look at him. "that's not fair, your hands are huge." you wiggled onto your elbows to grab his wrist, pressing your palms together. "see?"

mingyu laughed, feeling his cheeks heat up. "well, you have baby hands, so." he punctuated his point by curling his finger over yours. you pouted again, then slipped your fingers between his, thinking about how nice his warm hand felt over yours.

you blinked, then pulled your hand away and grabbed the joycon as the game finally loaded the skippable intro, hoping you weren't blushing too much as you cleared your throat. mingyu stared at your pink cheeks for a moment, his mind reeling. was he seeing something that wasn't there? or was his hope in you validated?

you were clicking through the menu and felt his eyes on you, and all you wanted to do was hide behind your hair and avoid eye contact. you nearly jumped when mingyu cleared his throat.

"hey, i have something i've been meaning to ask you."

your eyes met his briefly. "shoot."

"do you…" mingyu paused, trying to think of the right way to phrase his question. "i know you have exes that are guys, but is that something you're, like… still into?"

your ears burned and you wiggled until you could sit back on your own legs, fiddling with the hem of the shirt you stole and hesitating to make eye contact. "you mean, being with guys?"

"yeah," he said, watching you intently with his brows furrowed.

"yeah, i mean, i guess?" you shrugged. "i like both."

mingyu nodded slowly, watching your eyes as they stared at the wall across his small room. your cheeks were a rosy pink, and you were chewing on your lip. "me too."

you looked at him finally, your eyes wide. "what?"

he gave you a crooked smile. "i like guys and girls, too."

if you were blushing before, now you were blazing. "oh, my god, i'm an idiot."

he laughed. "what, did you think i was, like, totally gay?"

"shut up," you threw yourself down onto his bed, hiding your face in the blanket. in your defense, he had definitely called himself gay before, but you definitely called yourself gay constantly, so maybe you shouldn't put so much weight in those words. "shut up, i'm embarrassed. i don't want to talk about it."

hearing mingyu laugh next to you made you feel like you were on fire, then you felt the ghosting of fingers on your arm. you froze. mingyu's voice was soft when he spoke again. "do you wanna talk about how i have a massive crush on you?"

you slowly raised your head to look at him, cheeks burning red. he gave you a small smile before you choked out a "huh?"

"i ran a red earlier," he said suddenly, his fingers moving from your arm to absentmindedly brush your hair out of your face, then to your shoulder, then back. it was a reassuring touch, one you had felt from him before, but you still were caught off guard by his sudden succession of confessions. "you were sleeping and i couldn't stop looking at you. i totally could have crashed the car."

"dude, what the fuck." you stared at him, then lowered your voice to imitate him. "'hey i have a crush on you and i almost killed us both because of it.' that's you, that's what you sound like right now."

mingyu laughed in your face and you couldn't help the chuckle that fell out of your mouth. "sorry i almost killed us."

"i guess i can forgive you," you said, picking at your nails suddenly despite them being clean. "especially because i might have a crush on you, too."

mingyu kept staring at you with a fond smile, and you wondered if he could also hear how hard your heart was beating. "can i kiss you?"

you looked at him, trying not to stare at his lips. you nodded, almost hurriedly. his hand pulled against your back as you rolled your body to face him, and your hand reached out for his jaw as he pulled you into him. and when his lips crashed into yours, you yelped slightly, melting into him almost immediately. they were plush against yours, and he was gentle as he pushed your back onto the mattress, adjusting to hover over you slightly. when you let your head fall back onto the bed, he grinned at your blown out pupils and swollen lips, buzzing at the way your hands curled around around his neck, fingers digging into the hair at his nape. he adjusted again, a hand finding your waist as he pulled back to let you swing your leg across his lap. you pulled him back over you, enjoying the way his hips hit the back of your thighs as he caged you in with an elbow by your shoulder. you stared up at him, heart racing, eyes flicking down to his lips too many times for him to not take the hint.

mingyu had always enjoyed pleasing you. this definitely felt like the next natural progression.

he dove into you, and your arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. mingyu was a hugger, and he also liked wearing very little clothing when he worked out, so you knew what he looked like under the plain white tee. knew what he felt like. but suddenly - with his hands slipping under what was technically his shirt to properly feel your waist, with how his tongue fought with yours - you really felt him for the first time. the way his shoulder muscles rippled just beneath the skin as he adjusted, clearly trying to not make his growing bulge so obvious. you considered the fact that you might get to see how much leg day really benefited, considering how much he posted about it with sweaty post-workout pictures on his story.

mingyu felt your thighs squeeze around his hips, pulling back slightly. "is this okay?"

"is it?" you responded, a hand pulling back to fall on his jaw. "i've wanted you for ages."

he laughed lightly. "god, we're idiots."

you had no time to respond before he was kissing you again, his hips rolling into yours, pulling a surprised moan from you. he ate it up, his fingers gripping your waist tighter at the sound. you felt his girth as it pressed against you, and you gasped. when was the last time you had been with a guy? high school?

when mingyu's teeth bit down on your lip, you were really glad he was the guy you were unconsciously waiting for.

he tugged on your hips as he rolled onto his back, pulling you to straddle his lap. you giggled slightly, settling back into the open mouthed kisses as he ran his hands from your ass up your back, slipping under the sports bra you were wearing.

then there was a knock. you yelped, burying your face in his shoulder as you heard the door swing open. "make room for king k r- oh shit!"

you laughed into mingyu's neck as he yelled for seokmin to get the hell out, his hands tugging the hem of the stolen shirt over your butt in an attempt to shield it from view. you heard him squeak out an "i'm sorry!" as the door shut again.

"i'll kill him."

you exhaled, the laughter still on your lips as you looked at his profile from where your cheek pressed against his shoulder. "bet he thinks we're secretly dating."

mingyu laughed, scratching an eyebrow before returning his palm to your ass. "not a secret now."

"oh, so we're dating now?"

mingyu craned his neck to look at you. "is that not what was going to happen?"

you giggled, sitting up and putting your hands on his chest. you adjusted your knees, fully aware of how the movement would rub you against his still hard bulge. "we have both fucked people without dating them afterwards, kim mingyu."

"ah," he said, digging his fingers into your soft ass and rutting into you gently, making you gasp. "we're gonna fuck? i thought we were just joking."

you slapped his chest, giggling still as you rolled your hips. "if you don't wanna, i could ask hao-"

"oh, shut up," he said, pulling you down to kiss him. "if you liked myungho like that you would have tried it ages ago."

you smiled, your thumb running over his adams apple as you placed gentle kisses on his jaw. "sweetie, are we jealous?"

"i don't deserve this, you know?" mingyu pulled your hips against him again, a low grunt tumbling from his beautiful mouth. "i haven't put my dick in a girl since i met you and now i'm with you and you're talking about my roommate? this seems extremely mean."

you giggled again, then placed your lips on his again. he instantly kissed you back, one hand leaving your ass to go to the back of your neck. "you're the only guy i ever think about," you whispered, getting repeatedly interrupted by mingyu's needy lips on yours.

the wolf-like grin that broke onto his face sent chills down your spine. "let's keep it that way."

*

seokmin's hand was still on the doorknob, his wide eyes blinking, when minghao paused his movie and sat up to poke his head out and look down the hall. "the hell was that?"

he puffed out his cheeks as he walked back into the living room, his palms clapping gently. "i thought you said y/n came over to play smash?"

minghao's eyebrow quirked up. "she did."

the eldest sat on the couch. "i thought mingyu was gay?"

"what?" minghao looked down the hall again. "wait, what? were they-" he stopped when he heard a muffled groan that was far too familiar.

seokmin grabbed the remote and pressed play, scratching his cheek as he turned up the volume. "what are we watching? catch me up."

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. I || JJ Maybanks x Reader

Words: 2667

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: self harm (kind of?)

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: the second time she saw him, it was at a kook party.

A/N: Okay so I KNOW i havent finished WB (im not even halfway lol) but i got this idea from rewatching euphoria. you dont have to look too closely to see that ive mirrored a couple of seens, but the plot, while inspired by euphoria, wont be the same. let me know what you think, or if you wanna be tagged!

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

This story does follow the plot, so beware of any spoilers.

This town seemed too perfect. Sure, you were on the poor side of the town, but the houses were well kept and everyone was happy and friendly. It was as far from home as you could get. You hated this. The boxes stacked up in the boot, and the bags piled up in the seats behind you. The fact that you were over two and half thousand miles away from home. The fact that this was a new beginning you were sure you didn’t need. 

You watched as people loaded boats with shopping bags or crates of beer, and how they all seemed to be happy with their small roles in this small town. It was everything you hated and more.

You looked at your dad, in the seat next to you. He kept his eyes on the road, glancing down while he tried to find a radio station with decent music. He settled on reggae track by Bob Marley, and hummed along. You rolled your window down, smelling the salty air that blew in from the coast even as you wound your way further into the poor housing of this end of the island.

That was when you saw him.

He was on his bike, no helmet, his longish blonde hair waving around his face, and a baseball cap slung backwards over his head. You drove past, pushing your head out of the window to keep the view, and his eyes found yours in a way you couldn’t describe. You held his gaze until the car turned, pulling into a driveway. Your new house.

Your dad turned to you with a long sigh.

“I know you’re not happy about this.” he started, and you looked at his concerned face.

“I just don’t understand how moving almost three thousand miles will change anything.” you reasoned.

“Well, you know why. She’s not here, and you won’t have to deal with all of that shit that happened at school.”

“So we’re running away?”

“Y/N, just give this place a chance.”

You nodded. “Dad, how can we afford this?”

He looked at you defeatedly.

You continued, “I mean, with the divorce, and what she did, how could we afford the moving fees and the house? Cross-state moving fees are mad, let alone when you’re on an island too.”

“Hey,” he shook his head, “I’m the adult, I’ll worry about that.”

In your first week on the island, you made friends with a girl called Sarah. She was from Figure 8, but had explained the dynamics between the pogues and kooks to you, and invited you to a party. It was her boyfriend, Topper’s, but she explained that plenty of pogues and tourons would crash anyway.

You arrived without her, a pair of cycling shorts and a crop top thrown over your bikini in a minimal-effort kind of way. Your one stab at an effort was the blue and purple glitter dabbed over your cheek bone to recreate a highlighter effect. When you got there, you could immediately tell you were underdressed. Everyone else were in shirts and dresses, and your glitter was definitely too ‘city’ to be cool here, so you stuck out, obviously the only pogue there. You spent twenty minutes trying to find Sarah, picking up some vodka on your way around. 

Eventually, after leaving a few texts, you sat down on the kitchen counter and nursed your vodka. You had no idea how long you sat there for, but at some point, Sarah’s brother stormed in. You recognised him from one of Sarah’s instagram posts, but you knew he’d never seen you in person. He looked high. And angry.

“Get out of the fucking kitchen!” he was yelling, and people began to filter out, but due to your obscured path, you couldn’t get out. He turned on you.

“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded, “‘Cause I don’t fucking know you!”

“Uh,” you mumbled, “I’m Y/N, I got invited by a friend.”

Where the fuck was Sarah?

“Well I don’t know any Y/Ns. And I don’t see any fucking friends!” He yelled, slurring and stumbling. “Does anybody know Y/N?” 

You looked around the gathering crowd, trying to spot Sarah, hoping she would appear and get you out of this.

“I said, does anybody fucking know Y/N? What the fuck are you doing in this house?” He cornered you, and you were beginning to panic. How the fuck do I get out of this situation?

You didn’t even realise what you were doing, but you felt yourself grab a knife from the counter and thrust it towards him. He stumbled back and you stepped forwards.

“Don’t fucking yell at me!” you shouted, watching him lean back against the wall in fear. You didn’t even register doing it but you felt the blade slice your arm.

You stepped back, addressing the shocked audience. “By the way, I’m Y/N,” You looked around, finding those blue eyes you’d seen a week ago. “And I just moved here.”

You dropped the knife on the counter and pushed your way out of the house, pulling your phone out when you got to the pavement. You checked your messages with Sarah.

You: just got here, where r u?

You: girl, where u at?

You: sarah, i dont know anyone, where r u?

You: im going home, shit turned sour. Msg me later.

Putting your phone away, you looked around. You hardly knew where you were, and you were desperate to get home.

“That was quite a show.” You heard a voice behind you. Shit.

You turned, and saw your blonde haired boy. “Well I knew someone was gonna get hurt either way, so I chose to deescalate the situation, you know?”

He nodded, reaching for your arm, looking at the cut. “You need to get that looked at.” 

“You offering?” you asked, pushing down a smile. 

“Sure.” he shrugged. You looked at him. He looked at the ground, an uncharacteristic shyness taking him over, “Can I stay at yours?”

You watched him stare at the ground, and however much you wanted to ask, you chose not to. “Sure, we just gotta be extra quiet.” 

He grinned, “‘Course.”

“Okay,” you sighed, “This is where I confess that I don’t actually know my way home.”

“We’ll work it out.” he grinned.

When you reached your house, learning that it was only a minute down the road from the blonde boy’s friend's house, you opened the door as quietly as possible, the pair of you pulling off your shoes and carrying them for extra quiet. You snuck up the stairs, trying to avoid the creaky stair boards, and pausing in terror every time there was a creak. By the time you’d made it to your room, the only other room upstairs being a bathroom, you both relaxed. You searched your moving boxes, finding your brother’s old sweat and tee for him, and going to the bathroom so that you could change into an oversized top and old gym shorts.

When you came back, a first aid kit in hand, the boy sat you down on the bed and began to address the cut.

You watched him work in silence. “What’s your name?” you whispered, and he glanced up at you, a smile on his lips.

“JJ.” he said simply, a small smirk adorning his lips as he finished dressing your arm.

You flopped down, so that you were lying on your back in the bed, and he looked at you with an odd sense of curiosity. “Lie down.” softly, you coaxed.

“Usually I get to know a girl before I get in her bed.” he joked, and the way you laughed made him want to freeze the moment in time. 

“Why do I feel like that’s not true?” you snarked.

He gasped, putting his hand to his chest in feigned hurt, “Oh Y/N, I’ve known you for an hour and you’re already breaking my heart!”

“What can I say?” you bantered, “I’m just pure femme fatale.”

He crawled onto the bed, resting his head on the pillows above you. “Oh,” he replied, “I’m sure.”

You flipped onto your stomach, looking at him, relaxed, head on the pillows, gazing down at you. “At home, there weren’t any guys like you.”

He laughed, unsure of himself, “Love, there aren’t any other guys like me.”

You hummed, fiddling with the corner of your throw blanket, looking at him through your lashes, you giggled. “You’re so full of shit.”

He grabbed a pillow and threw it straight at your head. You picked it up, your face scrunched up from the impact, and he laughed. You sat up, crossing your legs, and threw it back at his face, only he caught, laughing, saying something about you having a bad throw. He put the pillow back, and you crawled back up the bed, lying on your back, your arms touching as you both stared at the ceiling.

You glanced at him, taking how his warm tan contrasted the blue light of the moon that shone through the large window above your bed. You took in the way his muscles gave him definition, and how the top stretched slightly over his chest, and how his long blonde hair splayed over the pillow, your own, waist-length hair tickling his arm as you lay there. You took in the curve of his nose and the tiny, mischievous smirk that never seemed to leave his face. You took in his long eyelashes and the blue of his eyes and the pink of his cheeks.

At some point, you drifted off.

When you woke up, you were tucked into him, your legs tangled in his, hair spread over his arm. His eyes were still closed, and you didn’t move from your spot, keeping your eyes on his face.

“You know,” he murmured, “If you take a picture, it’d last longer.”

Blushing, you pulled away. “I don’t know what you’re on about.” you sat up, feeling his fingers trace the curve of your back as you moved out of his reach. You left the bed, looking back to see him sit up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and you watched him take in the way your top fell over your frame. You searched your moving boxes again, looking for an outfit for the day. You really needed to move everything into the wardrobe. Eventually, you pulled out a bikini and shorts. You looked back at him, and he grinned at you.

You looked at him curiously, “What are you doing today, JJ?”

He thought for a second, electing against going home, but rather to go to John B’s for a day of weed and joking around. “Introducing you to my friends.” he shrugged, “The one who lives a minute down the road.”

You nodded, “What are we, in a relationship?” you joked, “Introducing me to your friends? Next thing I know I’ll be round for dinner.”

He felt dirty when you said that, shrinking into himself, hoping that you would never experience the shit that came with meeting his dad. You must have realised you’d hit a nerve, because you backtracked, saying you’d been stupid and whatever you’d said to upset him wasn’t intentional. When he looked back up, he saw how the tears of worry were building, and he immediately changed his demeanor, rushing forwards to hug you, assured you that it was all good. 

You went to get changed, leaving him in your room. 

He looked around. The corner was full of boxes yet to be unpacked, the open ones mainly clothes. There was a desk under the window, with some makeup, a book and a notebook thrown on top. The wardrobe doors were open, revealing that the few clothes that were in your wardrobe were very messily so, most either hung up or on the floor. There was a shelf above the hangers, with a shoebox pushed carefully to the side. He pulled it out, conscious that he was snooping. He pulled the lid off, and saw a set of pictures.

The first - you at a funfair when you were a little, a boy two years older (must be your brother) and a woman, almost identical to you, hugging you close. The second, you were older, perhaps twelve - you were wearing a Christmas onesie that matched the woman’s, your brother and dad laughing as you and the woman - your mother - danced around. The third - you were in a hospital gown, and your mother was crying, holding you close. 

There were more, but he didn’t look. Under the photos, there was a tiny crocheted rabbit and a baby blanket with little elephants on it. He heard your bathroom door open, and rushed to put the lid on, putting the box back. You walked in, smiling at him as you checked your phone.

Dad missed calls (6)

Bro missed calls (3)

Sarah missed calls (11)

You sighed, checking Sarah’s messages.

 Sarah: Sorry!! I heard what happened, i should hv been there. Meet up 2day?

You: Rain check? I met a guy last night and he wants to introduce me to his mates.

Sarah: U go girl!! Enjoy urself, msg me if u need me <3

You flicked off Sarah’s messages, glancing back at JJ, who was looking at your make up.

Mom: Darling, call me when you can.

The last text made you want to throw up, and you tossed your phone on the bed, drawing JJ’s attention back to you. “You okay?” he asks, and you nod, grabbing your purse and picking your phone back up, and getting ready to go.

“Okay, I’ll go down first, I’ll signal if there’s no one there so you can come down.” you ran down the stairs, checking the kitchen and living room, then giving JJ the all-clear. You left the house, letting him walk you to his friend’s place.

He took your hand, guiding your through the front door and into the house. You wrinkled your nose at the mess, food, clothes and empty cans littering the room. “This is a mess.” you muttered, stepping over an empty packet of sweets.

“His mom left when he was three and his dad’s missing, the lack of adults means… well, you can see what it means.”

You nodded, only just noticing a boy asleep on the sofa next to you. JJ leans over, sighing. “That’s Pope, I’ll go get John B and see if Kiara’s here.” he let go of your hand, walking down the hall, leaving you with the sleeping boy. You watched the boy shuffle and then open his eyes, jumping at the sight of a stranger standing over him. 

“Who are you?” he asked, sitting up and staring at you. 

“JJ’s friend.” you said, and he raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re the girl who cut herself.” he said, recognition relaxing his features.

“My reputation precedes me.” you laugh, and he stands up. 

“Food?” he offers, walking to the kitchen.

“Y’all have food here? It looks like you live off Swedish Fish and beer.” 

He grins, “That’s the life.” he jokes, pulling a slice of moldy bread from its packet, and then throwing it straight in the bin. “That said, John B does need to get groceries more.”

“I do?” you heard a voice behind you. You turned, and were met with the sight of a tall brunette boy. He stares at you for a second, and rather than Pope’s blunt recollection, he grins, “You’re Y/N, right?” You nod, “You left quite the impression at Topper’s party.”

“What can I say?” you laughed.

JJ came back from the hallway, accompanied by a girl. “You must be Y/N!” she greets, smiling brightly, “I’m Kiara.” 

“Well…” JJ pipes up, “Let's take the HMS out to the marsh and introduce Y/N to the OBX properly!”

“I’m down.” Kiara shrugged, “I don’t have any shifts today.” 

“Sure,” agreed Pope.

“Leave in twenty?” John B offered.

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[astarfilledsea]

got tagged by the lovely @sunsetsswerve 💖ty lovely

tag 9 people to know more about their interests, hobbies, etc. (no pressure!):

feel free to just look at my answers, dear friends :)) tagging @wistfullullabies @buckleys-diaz @ronanlyneh @eijunes

MUSIC

fav genre? it depends on my mood really, whatever im feeling is what i’ll put on but i do listen to pop/pop punk and alt rock lol not recently tho

fav artist? does this include bands? im gonna say yea: pvris / paramore / fob / dermot kennedy / jonas bros / halsey / hozier / bad suns / bts to name a few 

fav song? good to be alive - pvris is one of many

most listened song recently? your eyes tell - bts / b s&t orchestral cover

song currently stuck in your head? i was singing airplane pt. 2 earlier

fav lyrics? it’s just a spark, but its enough to keep me going / and when its dark out, no one’s around, it keeps glowing - last hope by paramore

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? fantasy / also really depends on what im feeling atm / also do enjoy manga as well

fav writer? i have a couple but i’ll say v schwab / erin morgenstern

fav book? too many, next q

fav book series? percy jackson / the raven cycle : those two are just....they’re books that i know i can go back to again and again and still love them also soc duology is good

comfort book? see above answer 

perfect book to read on a rainy day? oooh anything, really - leaving that

fav characters? percy jackson / ronan lynch

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? here are some random ones bc i cant tell you 5 from just one:

the dam quote from titan’s curse

"In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys."

"Plenty of humans were monstrous, and plenty of monsters knew how to play at being human."

“Strange isn’t it? To love a book. When the words on the pages become so precious that they feel like part of your own history because they are. It’s nice to finally have someone read stories I know so intimately."

“"Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias."

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? animation, comedy

fav movie? how to train your dragon is one of the many

comfort movie? she’s the man (even tho its been a long while since ive seen it)

movie you watch every year? i try to watch olive the other reindeer every year, its weirdly one of my fav christmas movies 

fav tv show? haikyu / diamond no ace / shadow & bone / vincenzo (even tho i have to finish it) 

comfort tv show? haikyu

most rewatched tv show? haikyu 

ultimate otp? vincenzo and the gold underneath that building / i feel like id answer this better if i watched more tv/movies but imma be real, i have not seen much of both

5 fav characters? see fav tv show, everyone in there is my fav

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once

[horrormaniac]

Jealous much?(Vincent Sinclair)

Finished rewatching house of wax...was Vincent always this attractive??? Like boi is straight up baby

This story contains:bad writing like ew, murder but that's normal, jealous vinny

"hey Vinny?"

You call out to your lover of two years as he worked on his newest wax piece. Just hearing your voice made Vincent stop everything and turn to you as you hopped up from the stool you sat in like you normally did when you watched him work. Vincent stood up and wiped his hands on his apron as he let out a soft grunt to acknowledge that he was now focused on you.

"I think im gonna explore okay? I'll probably go back to the house for a nap or go to the movies" you chirped out but your eyes widened as Vincent started to walk his apron off since he clearly wanted to join you so you put your hands on his chest to stop him.

"Vinny. You're working.. I'll be fine plus bo is in the shop and Lester is near the entrance alright babe?" Your soothing voice made him melt as he stared at you with an uncertain expression that you could see from looking in his eyes so you knew he needed extra persuading.

Vincent was a shy guy who wasn't too fond of being touched but you were a special case. He NEEDED to touch you constantly or at least needs to see you as much as humanly possible. You wrapped your arms around his neck while your fingers made their way to his hair which earned you a soft but pleased groan from the masked boy.

"Vincent.. I'll be fine. How about you finish up and then we can cuddle for the rest of the day hmm?" God damn it..he can't ever say no to you, he worships you and wants to do anything to make you happy.

He gave a nod but glanced at the clock before looking at you again. He put up three fingers while his other hand made a zero. You grinned before kissing the cheek of the wax mask and pulled back.

"yeah 30 minutes alright! Love ya!"

He watched as you rushed out the room before a chuckle escaped him as he muttered what sounded like a 'love you too' under his breath and he started to get back to work since he now has a time limit.

You walked out the house of wax and decided that the movies would be where you go first to see what was playing..probably an old movie you didn't know.

As you walked your eyes landed on two men who were banging on the church door. This made you tense up since tourists weren't supposed to be here at all but it seems they found Ambrose. You couldn't help but stare as you thought about what to do.

You weren't like bo and Vincent, you never killed anyone before. Thanks to your long indecisiveness the boys noticed and started to walk over.

"hey there! We need directions!"

"yeah cutie care to help?"

OH. GOD. NO!

these men do NOT know Vincent so they don't know the can of worms that they were opening with this one. Vincent shows his jealousy in two ways, one of those ways were him being extra cuddly and clingy to express that you are his but the other one was him freaking out and going crazy.

When you two just started dating Bo made a comment about your ass and you've never seen Vincent tackle someone so quickly. It was going to be a bloodbath if you don't stop this before Vincent catches them

You gave a nervous laugh as the two boys stood infront of you. "Where you trying to go?" You asked out before glancing at the station only to see Bo staring with a devilish grin on his face. That asshole loved seeing drama, you now had an extra goal of watching Bo to make sure he doesn't run off to tell Vincent.

As the boys explained that they were campers just exploring the place you glanced at the station to keep your eyes on Bo to make sure he doesn't rush off to the museum. You were gonna keep staring but the one of the males grabbed your arm which made you whip your head towards them.

"whats wrong? What are you staring at?" Their closeness made you uncomfortable for sure and you simply gave a forced grin.

"just..uh wondering why you boys would wanna stick around our tiny town" you cooed out while trying to get your hand free. The one gripping you yanked you close and you smelled whiskey from his mouth.

"well we were gonna leave but now that we see a cutie here figured we should stay, right gabe?" The one holding you asked the other one who now was behind you and kissing along your neck.

NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!

You were gonna defend yourself but jolted at the feeling of something sharp poke your back. You glanced back only to see the guy behind you wide eyed and having two blade through his chest.

"Vincent!" You chirped out happily and normally Vincent would give a warm hum at the sound of your amazing voice saying his name but at the moment he was fuming with rage.

The poor guy infront of you pushed you to the ground before making an attempt to run. Vincent growled lowly as he held his blade handles with one hand while his free hand grabbed a throwing knife he had and threw it with a great amount of force.

You winced as to saw the blade hit the guy in the leg and you covered your eyes since you knew what would happen next. You honestly knew it was gonna get bad and would rather not see it.

You heard a body drop along with the sounds of Vincent's footsteps fading away before a male crying. Your body jolted at the noise of screaming in agony before silence. You let out a shaky breath as footsteps came towards you and hands moving your hands away from your face.

"Vinny I'm fi-"

You didn't get to finish your statement due to the face that Vincent kissed you roughly and passionately. He normally was very gentle with his kisses but now his mask was moved to the side exposing his mouth and he was giving one help of a kiss.

You shuddered but kisses back before softly pulling away and giving a shocked laugh. "Thanks for saving me.. I could have handled it though y'know? Also... you're totally jealous yeah?" You teased which only got you an annoyed huff from the male before he grabbed you and tossed you over his shoulder before fixing his mask.

You let out a yelp before you erupted into giggling. You felt him walk and knew where you two were going.

After a long day of Vincent showing you who you belong to he promised himself to always be more careful when it comes to letting you leave his sight.