#when people say you shouldn't exist you exist harder and louder

[anxietyfrappuccino]

being christian or christian ajacent is so weird like,,, i don't believe the same things other christians believe.

i think reincarnation is legit despite hating the idea of being reincarnated. i don't think one lifetime is enough to find god.

i don't think fighting over land to establish a country is necessary. god gave us a whole fucking planet but you want this specific piece of it so much you're willing to kill to obtain it? fuck that just be nice and love thy neighbor. fuck borders honestly.

the bible was written from the perspective of men, it's flawed. it's full of war and racism and misogynistic metaphors. we, humans, have matured over time, but the people who think the bible is perfect are like the people who believe the united states constitution is perfect. it's not, and we shouldn't be acting like the human perspective can't experience growth. we grow individually. we grow collectively. people stagger that progress when they keep sticking to old harmful way of existing.

who is to say that after jesus ascended back to heaven, the men who eventually wrote the bible didn't change the story? we all know they've been altering it since it since it was published!!! it is impossible to write that much word and not give bias.

god/jesus said in the future his people would go to war. this seems to be some sort of justification for countries to create war. all i know to say is that going to war does not equate to starting a war. things are not worth going to war for. people are worth going to war for, to protect them, but it's never okay to instigate war.

being a medium is not witchcraft. it's a gift. crystals are not witchcraft. they're pretty rocks that may or may not hold a bit of magic and grace in them. either way, it's not harming anyone to have a comfort item or something harmless to believe in. astrology is not "new age" or witchcraft. it's been around for centuries in every part of the world. it's reading stars for fucksake. let people have a fun way of understanding themselves.

love is love and love also really fucking loses is human and it's more perfect than the bible will ever be. it's authentic, and it's natural. realizing i'm queer made me a better person. it opened me up to caring more about people and understanding people. i can't thank god enough for my orientations.

you can't just give up anxiety or trauma to god. you can't just pray it away and forget about it. that shit alters your brain. you have to work through it in order to heal, and i believe god wants to help his children work through their hurt, not attempt to throw it away like a dirty dinner plate into the trash. you've got to wash your damn dishes. it's takes time, and it's harder for some people than others. AND MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT DEMONIC. sorry, had to say it louder for the people in the back.

there may be other things i'm not aligned with, but this is what i can remember rn

[kayssweetdreams]

A "Perfect" Vacation Ch 11

Meanwhile, Back at the Theater...

"...And that's how we all got here." Aria said, as she was petting Kuro and Shiro, with both maestros listening in. "My My! That's quite a tale! But what makes you think that the police did fail?" Balan asked. Now...You might be wondering what exactly happened, and how Aria is alright, so...let's rewind a little shall we.

A Few Moments Earlier, Where We Last Left Off...

Aria was terrified as the mysterious figure waited at the door, hoping for her to finally give up and surrender. She didn't think it was possible, Weren't people supposed to only see the Balan Theater if they NEEDED too? Then how could they see it?! And HER?! "C'mon now...I won't hurt you." They said, deciding to up the fear by ever so gently scratching the aged wood on the door, making them sound like a predator toying with their prey.

Aria shut her eyes tight as the scratching got closer and louder to her head. She trembled in fear, what did he want with her? Why on earth did this crazy person chase them all the way to a theater that very much shouldn't exist? Did she hear something that she wasn't supposed to hear? "Aria...My patience is wearing thin. You're going to come out of there and with me...one way or another." They threatened, as their hands now firmly clasped onto the door...

"Ahem." A familiar voice asked from behind the figure. They stopped in their tracks as they saw two men standing in front of them, and they didn't look happy. "Oh, you'll have to excuse me. My girlfriend is in there and-" they were cut off as the much brighter looking one interrupted "Oh, Your girlfriend you say. I don't remember Aria having a new fiancé." He said, eyes narrowed. The darker one also stared at the strange figure with suspicious and fury. "I know when someone has trouble to bring, and as of now, you're trespassing." He said.

The figure looked between the two of them. Sure they were strong, but not strong enough to take on two of them. He sighed as he slowly slunk away from the theater. The two men watched as he walked away, and waited until he went around the corner, before they themselves walked inside, to see a panic striken Aria shivering behind a box of props. The two men then slowly changed until they became less...human.

"Aria dear? It's alright. The strange person is out of sight." Said a familiar voice. The scared young woman peeked out to see the tall forms of Balan and Lance standing above her. Aria could feel her fear melt away as she saw her friends. "Balan! Lance! Thank goodness you're here..." she said, shakily getting up from her hiding spot. "Don't worry Aria, there's nothing to fear, we even took the liberty of moving the theater away from here." Lance said, looking out the window to reveal them now in the Amazon Rainforest.

Aria, while grateful, was still shaken by the encounter, and both maestros could sense it. "Maybe you should sit a spell, That last encounter would not have ended well." Balan said, summoning a lounge chair and letting Aria sit down in it, hoping to calm herself down from the chilling chase that happened. Kuro and Shiro then hopped out of the curtains of Wonderworld, and hopped into her lap, hoping that the frightened woman would calm down.

A few Hours and a Few Cups of Tea Later...

Aria then showed Balan and Lance the news bulletin that showed Madame Prim getting arrested, and they also found it almost TOO easy that Madame Prim had gotten caught...almost as if she was PUT there to get caught. "I understand your skeptical thought, you would think that madwoman would try harder NOT to get caught." Balan said, his eyes inside of his hat raised.

"I know. Although, I don't think anyone will believe me if I say that that's not her. And I know I'm supposed to he happy, but this just seems to easy." Aria admitted, watching the video again. Both maestros took a deep breath. As much as they didn't want to admit it, they too could sense that it seemed a little strange...and that they need to dig a little deeper into this. Balan stood up and took a deep breath

"Well. I'm going to sound insane, completely crazy. But we have a former headmistress to see."

Kuro and Shiro belong to @sundove88

Aria belongs to @shadowqueen402

[spoonyruncible]

I genuinely do think of myself as a very chill unbothered person, and that’s at least mostly true but I get deeply frustrated when I see people failing to grasp simple concepts and then dismissing those concepts as ‘stupid’ instead of maybe trying even one percent harder.

Since it’s June one I’ve seen a lot is either willful misunderstanding of Pride or an outright refusal to accept that a word can contain nuance and multiple definitions. “What have they got to be proud about? They didn’t do anything.” I’ve seen the same complete nonsense said about every pride movement, disability pride, black pride, AAPI pride. And the absolutely lukewarm takes I’ve seen are so stomach-churningly shitty that I have the common sense to just disengage and walk away and complain on my own blog.

My least favorite take is “Well, they just want to feel special.” Ah, yes, feeling special, the very reason that motivates me every morning to wake up. I feel so special I’m estranged from my family. Countless frightened people have confessed their truth to loved ones and heard exactly that, “You just want to be special. You want to make everything about you.” I was fortunate enough to hear, “For fucks sake, we know you’re autistic but can you stop telling people?”

The reality of it is so simple, so easy, that it’s bizarre this keeps needing to be said. Pride doesn’t mean the the immutable nature of your body, your history, or at times your very soul is an accomplishment in and of itself, it means that you’re not ashamed even though other people say you ought to be. Like, I could explain this to a small child with zero difficulty. Good Lord, I grew up hearing “Rebel Pride” from people living in Kentucky which was a Union state. If anyone anywhere just ‘wants to feel special’ it’s Kentuckians with uglyass Confederate battle flags.

[labyrinthofmagicdrabbles]

white dragon

fandom: magi

pair: hakuryuu ren x fem!reader

chapter: dream [1/15]

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~

It was always the same dream

He was running, he could tell by the click-clacking echo of his boots. Where exactly he was running to, he did not quite know, but what he did know was that he was running from something, towards someone.

And he felt so small, smaller than the child he was in that dream, so weak, scared, and helpless that there was nothing more he wanted then to run into the safety of his elder brother's chambers and curl up into the secure warmth of his brother's arms, protected from all that would dare to harm him.

But he couldn't do that; not while trying to escape the smoldering flames that so quickly ate up the path behind him, covering and destroying everything in its wake, leaving nothing but ash. Closer and closer they grew, he could feel the heat lick at his skin. The fire would eat him up too, just as it did his beloved brothers, if he didn't hurry.

The thick fumes of smoke blinded and blurred his vision, clouded his lungs, but he didn't care. He had to escape. He had to find them. He had to find her.

Through the sounds of the flickering flames and drawn out yells of servants and nobles alike, he would hear a voice that fell familiar on his ears. A pleading, desperate voice that cried out his name—so close, yet felt so far away.

"—ryuu!"

The darkness was an endless, spiraling hall that pulled the voice further and further away the closer he came to it. It would grow louder with each cry of his name, the tone more frightened than the last.

And it tugged at his heartstrings, plunged a knife in and twisted it. He could feel the cry build up in his throat as he pushed himself harder, his mouth falling open and her name escaping his lips in a soundless call, repeating over and over like a pleading prayer.

"Haku—"

He stumbled, tumbling to the ground and falling in a heap of weakened, exhausted bones. Liquid slides down his cheeks, thicker than tears and redder than water. He tries to lift himself, but his limbs have turned to stone. Gravity becomes his enemy, and suddenly he can't move at all; no matter how hard he tries, how hard he wills himself to do so, he couldn't move.

But then suddenly, the halls seem to melt away, and he sees her.

Beautiful as ever, despite the blood and bruises that cover her body; hair a mess and white robes tattered, torn, and burnt, tears staining her lovely face and looking so helpless, as a dark figure hovered over her fallen frame.

"—RYUU!"

In the figure's hands, a steel sword, long and sharp, glistens with blood in the dim light of the fire. One single step they take towards her is enough to send her scrambling backwards as quickly as she can, eager to put as much distance between them as possible.

Another step.

The figure becomes visible—

—And Hakuryuu feels his heart stop, his breath caught in his throat. And around him, the world becomes cold.

Because there, standing with cold, dead eyes, tall and fearsome with his white robes stained with blood—is him.

No, that's not him, that can't be him—he had given up his hatred and desire for vengeance and destruction. He had moved on, moved forward with his life. So why was he standing there with those cold, hateful eyes he once had years ago, looking down at her with such disdain, covered in her blood. He had hurt her.

Why?

He would never hurt her—he had hurt a lot of people in his life, by which he still held much regret for that in his heart to this day—but not her, never her. He loved her, how could he ever want to hurt her?

'STOP!'

He continues forward in slow, agonizing steps as the woman tries,  but fails to get away as the figure suddenly lunges forward, and then has her trapped, the shadow of his body straddling her panicked form, keeping her stuck beneath his weight.

Her cries escalate into hysterics as the figure raises the sword, the tip of it glinting in the glow of the fire.

And he can do nothing but watch in horror— scared, weak, helpless, poor little Hakuryuu—useless as always

'HAKURYUU DON'T DO THIS PLEAS—'

The sword swings down and the sound of blood splattering fills the air as the screams give way to silence.

"NO!"

~~~

"Hakuryuu!"

Mismatched blue eyes snap open as the former emperor of the  Kou Empire is startled from his sleep by the worried call of a female's voice. He jerks up, sweat pouring down his forehead and heart racing as he tries to catch his breath,  anxious blue eyes scanning the area around him.

Inside of  his chambers, he realized, it was rather dark, save for the faint glow of a dimly lit candle. But it was the same, pale colored wall aligned with various trinkets and paintings, the same papers stacked neatly in the corner of his desk; no smoke, no flames, no terror—just the simple decor of his chambers.

"Are you okay, Hakuryuu?" The gentle voice interrupts his racing thoughts and a small hand places itself on his shoulder, causing his gaze to break away from the setting of the room and rest on the owner of both the voice and hand, his beloved.

He doesn't give an answer, and before he could stop himself, his hands grasp her shoulders in a tight grip, all but roughly turning her smaller frame towards him as he frantically scans her form. Every inch of her skin, her body, checking any and every part of her that could possibly have been harmed or out of place.

Now, if this kind of thing were something out the ordinary, [Name] would have smacked his hands away and demand that he tell her what was wrong, as his strange behavior was scaring her and at her current state, she could not afford to be scared—because being scared would lead to being stressed, and stress would not do the two of them well at all.

But safe to say, sadly, she had grown quite used to this.

Grabbing her husband's wrists, she gently removed his shaking hands from her shoulders and took them into her much smaller ones, thumbs messaging  his clammy skin.

"It's okay love," she leaned in placed her lips against his own in a quick, gentle kiss. "We're okay...you were just having another bad dream."

Soothing as her words were, they did not do much to help against the tight ache in his chest, the tremor of his body.  Though, the softness of her body against his was enough to keep him sane at least. He swallowed as he felt heartbeat slow down to the normal pace, his breath slowly becoming even again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, eagerness lacing her soft tone, then frowns when he shakes his head. There he went again, keeping his troubles to himself. As he always did.

It was a long period of silence before he spoke.

"I...apologize if I startled you again." His voice is husky with sleep, eyes drained by exhaustion. He attempts to pull his hands from her grip but refrains when she tightens it. "Did I wake you?"

"No, Ryuu, I was already up," smooth lips form a soft smile and she lightly gestures towards the swell of her belly, growing bigger and bigger with each passing day. "This little one makes it a bit difficult to get some good rest anyways."

He gives a weak chuckle. "I suppose I should apologize for that as well?"

"What? No, of course not!" She removes her grip from his hands, much larger than her own, and moves to cup his scarred cheek. "You should never apologize for such a wonderful thing, Ryuu. After all, I love our little Hakuro so much already. Being able give him a younger sister or brother and having our family grow is truly a blessing."

"I know love, I know." He pulls her into his arms and smiles when she snuggles into his chest. "I was only kidding."

He lays back down on his back, the tightness in his chest now gone as he's able to finally breathe again.

"But still," he speaks after a long moment of silence as he turns to face her. " It is not fair for me to bother you with my burdens. In your current state—"

"Hakuryuu, I'm pregnant, not an elderly ill woman. Whatever 'burdens' you carry, I can carry as well. We can handle them together. Please, do not be afraid to share them with me."

"But you shouldn't—"

"No—You shouldn't try to keep anything from me." She sits up once more and gives him that look she always gives him when she's serious. "Hakuryuu, I am your wife. As I promised you from the day we got married, I will be by your side, always. I will carry your burdens. Always." She grabs a hold of his hand once more and laces her fingers with his own as her gaze softens. "You are not alone anymore, Ryuu. I need you to understand that."

And you never will be again.

I do understand. I understand perfectly, it's just that— He goes to counter, but before he could her lips immediately meet his, claiming them with such a passion he knew she could not express with words, and like always, she leaves him breathless.

Before long, they part for breath and she rests her forehead against his. "I love you, Hakuryuu. Very much. As does our little Hakuro, and Judar, Kougyoku, and all of the others. And soon, this little one will love you just as much."

Her words pierce through his heart, and a light feeling, a warmth, spreads throughout his chest and body as he feel tears start to form in his eyes. Not tears of distress or pain, no, tears of joy. Of relief. Never in his life, had he been touched by such words.

In such a cruel world that had always been controlled by destiny, he had always thought he was doomed to live the rest of his life alone, where he would most likely waste away until he ended up in an early grave; put there by either by war or by himself, being driven mad and consumed whole by his hatred.

Living life with a beautiful wife at his side, surrounded by their children, friends, and family, free from all torment and ghosts of the past was simply something he only ever dreamed about, something that he had secretly longed for deep down in the lowest depths of his heart.

But he was no fool. Dreams like that only existed in the fairy tales his brothers used to read to him at night. He would never be a Xu Xian, he would never find his Bai Suzhen. Someone like him would never find love or happiness.

Or so he thought.

When he first tried, it had been a failure.  Though Morgiana was a strong, beautiful women who he had once wanted by his side, she had not been the one for him. Her heart belonged with another man, and that man would be the one to give her his in return. He had been bitter about it, before, yes, but that had been in the past.

Now, he lived for the future. For his godsend, his beautiful wife who stood at his side, as well as their child.

Because sometimes, the things one searches for in life doesn't exist only in dreams; they can be right there alongside them the whole time, but they have to open their eyes to see.

And he had been so blind before.

"I know," he finally speaks, and he moves to press his lips slightly against hers, trailing light kisses from her lips, to her nose, to the corner of her eyes, and finally, to her forehead. "And for that, I am truly blessed. I shouldn't keep my troubles to myself."

"No, you shouldn't."

He smiles as their fingers intertwine once more. "Because you are with me."

"Because I am with you."

They lay like that, together, as the world around them seemed to melt away, all previous problems from before seemingly vanished as they took comfort in each other's presence.

Then suddenly, a soft knock on the door.

Husband and wife pull away from each other and sit up once again as the door slides open, and in the doorway is a small figure, who stands with stuffed dragon clutched in hand, dark hair tousled,  and rubbing his tired [e/c] eye.

Worry washes over Hakuryuu like a tidal wave as he looks at his son. "What's wrong, Hakuro?"

Said boy clutches his stuffed animal tight and looks at his parents with tears in his large eyes. "Roro have bad dream," Hakuro speaks in a small, shaky voice. "Roro wants to sleep with Mama and Baba."

Seeing his son in such a state just felt all to familiar. It tugged at his heartstrings, a boy so young and innocent like his son didn't deserve to suffer through any nightly terrors; he should only dream of pretty gardens by the lake, and flying on white dragons.

"Of course, baby, come here." [Name] opens her arms which is enough to send Hakuro running straight into them, mindful of her growing stomach of course. She lays the boy between them as Hakuryuu runs a hand through his son's midnight hair, before leaning and giving him a kiss on his small head.

"It's okay, little one. Your mother and I will be here to keep all the bad dreams away." Lying down in a comfortable position and ready to get some rest this time,  Hakuryuu wraps an arm between the two (or three) people he loved most in the world.

Hakuro yawns, snuggling into the warmth of his father's chest. " M'kay. Night Mama, Night Baba."

"Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, little one. Sweet dreams."

And sweet dreams they all did have, any trace of nightmares gone and forgotten at that moment as a peaceful slumber had finally lulled them into it's grasp.

~~~~