#where does jinn lives

[adorner061-blog]

Interview With A Muslim Jinn 👹 Sufi Meditation Center

[tossawary]

I'm rewatching "The Phantom Menace" for the first time in years and ??? It really seems like Qui-Gon Jinn could have bargained for both Shmi and Anakin's freedom from the beginning of his wager with Watto???

Qui-Gon later DOES try to bargain for BOTH Shmi and Anakin's freedom, by putting "his" pod up in a second, separate wager. (And I do love that they're lying about where the secret pod came from. Anakin built it, so legally, it's probably actually Watto's. Qui-Gon is being a little crafty!) But Watto insists that no pod is worth TWO slaves and rolls a dice to pick which one (which Qui-Gon manipulates with the Force so that he'll get Anakin over Shmi).

But it doesn't explain why Qui-Gon didn't bargain for their freedom with the initial wager! The Skywalkers are providing the secretly built pod to Qui-Gon and it was Anakin's idea for Qui-Gon to approach Watto about borrowing him as a pilot for the Boonta Eve Classic. This is apparently THE big race on Tatooine and the prize money is worth a LOT (unnamed amount). Watto suggests that they split the prize money 50/50, but Qui-Gon immediately forfeits that, promising that Watto can take ALL OF IT in exchange for the ship parts Qui-Gon needs and if Watto will pay the entrance fee up-front, AND Qui-Gon agrees to give up his own ship if Anakin loses.

This seems... unbalanced? It really feels like Qui-Gon could have leveraged that prize money plus his ship for both Shmi and Anakin. Watto is angry after the race because he bet on Sebulba and "lost everything", but what about the prize money that Qui-Gon forfeited almost entirely to Watto??? And then they sell "Qui-Gon"'s pod (a race-winning pod!) for more money! (And Padmé even says after the race, "We owe you everything, Ani.")

And narratively, I'm not sure what would be greatly harmed by Shmi being free? She's free anyway in the next movie, living on the Lars farm, from what I remember, and the story-important pain for Anakin resolves around her violent death more than her now past enslavement. The movie could have slipped in a brief appearance by the moisture farmer who wants to marry Shmi, but can't because she's not free and he can't afford her freedom, so Shmi once freed stays on Tatooine to get happily married. And Anakin would still be (sadly by Shmi) sent off with the Jedi for a better life than poor moisture farmers on an Outer Rim planet run by gangsters can offer!!! You could still make their separation really sad with some good writing!

I wish the movie had either freed Shmi or been more convincing about why she has to stay in slavery. It really does end up making Qui-Gon Jinn look unlikably careless. Which is, you know, a character flaw and character flaws are fine! But he does other careless things in this movie anyway!

And this also ends up making the Jedi Council look like ASSHOLES when they (a strange group of adults) pressure a 9yo about his fear for his mother's safety and Yoda, instead of offering any guidance on dealing with fear productively, essentially says that fear (perfectly reasonable fear over his future and his mother's future!) is a path to the Dark Side in some weird slippery slope proverb. HIS MOTHER HAS BEEN LEFT IN SLAVERY!!! If Shmi had been left to a happy marriage as a free woman, then MAYBE you would be better able to frame Anakin's attachment as more of a problem, but so much about this scene makes the Jedi Council look utterly unreasonable. And again, it's fine if they're flawed! They can be flawed with their other objections!

But just... LITTLE edits here and there would make a lot about this movie stronger or at least less grating.

[callmevexx]

I realized I never posted my OC post here, so here's my first ✨official✨ OC post!!

Kai’ra Jinn Kryze – daughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Duchess Satine Kryze. Im so excited to finally properly share my obitine kid OC with you guys!!🥰

A (somewhat) brief summary of her backstory:

Kai was born in 25 BBY on Kalevala. She’s a happy, inquisitive, determined and energetic girl who easily gets distracted, so Satine always makes sure to keep a close eye on her once she learns to walk. Her and Satine have a strange forcebond in which one can feel the other’s emotion. Satine, and eventually Kai too, does learn how to ‘block’ it so the other won’t feel two emotions at the same time, but this can be very tiring and can’t be done for too long.

Obi-Wan was there when Kai’ra was born, though no one besides two trusted guards know that he is the father. The people of Mandalore believe Satine decided to have a child by herself which is what she had told them when she was pregnant. Obi-wan can rarely visit them unfortunately, but he does leave holorecordings and video’s for Kai to see and listen to.

Kai is 6 when Maul takes over Mandalore. Satine is critically injured, but survives the attack and is taken to Coruscant where she and Kai stay until Order 66. When order 66 happens, Satine and Kai join Obi-Wan on Tatooine where they live until Kai is an adult.

There's more backstory but thats waaaay too long hahaha I might make another post one day, but I'll definitely make more Kai content!!

I'd love to know what you think of her and if you've made it this far, thank you for reading🥰❤️

[fanfic-obsessed]

Somehow Palpatine Returned

Ok I had a hilarious thought and I need to share it with all of you. I don’t normally venture into the Sequels, for all that I have been a FinnPoe and a FinnPoeRey shipper for years, or into anything close to canon,  but I want to share this with you. 

Picture if you will the moment where Poe is telling the audience that ‘Somehow Palpatine has returned’. Ponder for a moment Obi Wan Kenobi, in the Force, at that moment. The look on his face. 

We are going with, somehow, Palpatine managed to hide his real identity from the Force Ghosts so they did not know he was still alive. 

We are also, from my own personal headcanon, going with the idea that Obi Wan severely dislikes (as close to hate as he is capable of) Palpatine and has for almost fifty years at this point.  Like 90% of the horrible things that happened in Obi Wan’s adult life can be traced back to Palpatine (both directly and indirectly).

At the moment that Poe reveals that Palpatine is back, in the Force Obi Wan starts swearing. He starts swearing in every language he knows. He starts mixing languages in his swears. He starts inventing new curses and new languages to be able to express his displeasure at the news. 

Obi Wan Kenobi is about ready to materialize into the mortal plane for the sole purpose of ripping Palpatine’s arm off and beating him with it (in a way that violates all manner of physics and Force). 

Slightly to the Left of Obi Wan, Anakin Skywalker is staring at his grandson in mild horror going ‘why are you…this’. 

The Force starts manifesting people to calm Obi Wan Kenobi down (For fear that Obi Wan will break…everything). First Force Sensitives and Jedi he cared for, then Clones, then non force sensitives, even a few old enemies.  

Note 1: Maul appears at one point and screams ‘Kenobi’ for a really long time, to the point that everyone else (other than Obi Wan) looks at him. He shrugs and goes ‘I just wanted to get your attention’ then goes to sit down next to Satine so they can both score Obi Wan’s curses while splitting a bottle of Force Wine. 

Note 2: Maul and Satine have a weirdly cordial relationship for being a pacifist government official ex girlfriend of a Jedi and the Sith Warlord that murdered her in front of said Jedi, but they have found in the afterlife that they both get joy from the face Obi wan makes when they argue about something inane with him. Also they may be each scoring Obi Wan’s swears (with the occasional addition of Yoda, Dooku, Ventress, and Padme) but they are using different metrics so their scores are vastly different at all time (Maul is scoring on Creativity, Violence, and the number of organs violated; Satine is scoring on creativity, number of languages used, how poetic/rhythmic, and how well it translates into basic).

A battalion's worth of clones are arrayed around Obi Wan, taking notes. Quinlan Vos appears and vanishes in rapid succession as he helps to calm then egg Obi Wan on (at which point the Force yanks him away only to be convinced to put him back). Cody tries to calm Obi Wan down for precisely three minutes, then he realizes what has Obi Wan so steamed. At that point he goes ‘no this reaction is completely valid’ and starts discussing how one would make some of those curses a reality (as they do violate physics, the Force, and human structural integrity. Also Palpatine does not even have some of those organs) with Qui Gonn Jinn, who is deeply amused but happy to bond with his pseudo son in law. 

Plo Koon wanders through and announces that he is adopting all of the new stormtroopers both dead and living (in the mortal plane Finn, Rose, and others suddenly get the feeling that they have been absconded with and have no idea why). 

In one corner Anakin, still despairing over Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and his life choices, is having an ongoing yet supremely awkward family reunion with one or more of the following at any given point and time: his wife, whom he had a hand in killing; his daughters adoptive parents, whom he helped murder; his daughter’s husband, who he tortured, froze in carbonite, and sold to a bounty hunter; and his step brother and step sister in law that rose his son on a planet that Anakin hated, whom he only didn’t torture because he never remembered they existed; Assorted Jedi who he had been close to, whom he might of had a hand in murdering.

That one corner has so much passive aggressiveness that it is insane.  A lot of Anakin asking out loud why Kylo Ren is…like that with one or more of the previously listed people going ‘Maybe if his grandfather didn’t become a Sith, Ben wouldn’t have gotten the idea’. Which is both slightly unfair, as Anakin had been dead by the time Ben Solo was born, but also funny as anything. 

Also no one in that corner was actually discussing their elephant in the room, which was Anakin turned out to be THE PROBLEM for two decades. 

There is an ever growing parade of everyone Obi Wan has ever met being thrown at him by the Force because the Force effectively went: SHIT that is a lot of anger. Deflect.Deflect.

[bestworstcase]

Your thoughts about Salem possibly intentionally ascending to be what is essentially a Grimm Faunus makes me think:

I wonder if Salem chose to ascend to become a Grimm because she believed Grimm were endless beings that could endure her current nightmare better than anything else. Instead, the end result of that ascension was finding out that the Grimm weren't just eternal manifestations of evil like she and many others were led to believe by the God of Light, but rather independent living creatures with their own unique morality system who could live and die like anything else. I'd imagine such a revelation would only further sour her on the God of Light, because she'd basically realize that the Grimm were just another victim of the God of Light's existential crisis.

oh i don’t think she On Purpose set out to turn herself into a grimm. for one thing, the lost fable is an unreliable narrative in a really specific way: jinn answer’s ruby’s question exactly, this is information ozpin knows or believes to be true and actively chose to hide from the kids. none of it is new information to oz—so how does he know what salem did during the parts when he wasn’t there?

salem told him.

thus, any factual incorrectness during these parts of the story must be the result of either:

salem outright lying to him, or

ozma misinterpreting what she said, or

ozma making baseless assumptions to fill in the gaps of what was (given how long ago it all was and how long she was alone) quite likely an incoherent story.

now generally speaking i believe that salem hesitated for some time before telling him of her involvement in the rebellion but otherwise told ozma the truth, because the text supports this (she “blamed the end of the world on the gods,” rightly), because she has no reason to lie about what the gods did, and because the thematic narrative requires that the lost fable be a biased account of real events, not a complete fabrication.

anyway, the point is:

If the fountain of life granted her immortality, then surely, the pools of Grimm will finally take it away… She was wrong. This force of pure destruction could not destroy a being of infinite life, so it created a being of infinite life with a desire for pure destruction.

jinn ascribes a specific motivation to salem’s choice to drown herself in the pool of grimm, and states that salem’s reasoning proved to be wrong. this passage, like the rest of the lost fable, articulates what ozpin believes—but i think this is his misinterpretation of something salem told him when she recounted this part of her story.

she says, “the fountain gave me infinite life. i thought the pool of grimm would take it from me.” he hears, “i was trying to kill myself.”

but what i think she meant was, “i thought the death in the pool and the life in my soul would mix together. maybe it would kill me, i didn’t know or care, but isn’t that how the brothers made us? darkness brought you back to life, and he called that creation, and i wasn’t thinking clearly because i was going insane from isolation but i thought that maybe if i sacrificed myself i could bring everyone back.”

she says, “i didn’t expect to become this, but of course one can’t destroy creation, so it changed me.” and he hears “i was mistaken, and now i’m cursed.”

because the thing is, as i’ve noted before, if you take away from an infinite quantity, an infinite quantity remains – because ‘infinite’ does not mean incomprehensibly big number, it means numberless, countless, boundless. so was salem suicidal, or was she doing math?

what happens if you take some life from infinite life? where does what is taken go?

she returned to the place where, millions of years ago, she’d seen the fearsome god of destruction claim the powers of creation as his own after bringing a dead man back to life. and then she poured INFINITE LIFE into the dark well of that god’s power which still, she’d seen, continued to birth living creatures long after the gods had gone.

what was she trying to do?

just die?

…or claim the powers of her creators in order to bring the world back to life?

the results being her own transformation plus animal people is probably not what she expected to happen, exactly, but – certainly it is an improvement over her previous circumstances and so i doubt she had any complaints, until humans proliferated and began to persecute the faunus.

the question of whether salem, in the grimm pool, did or didn’t experience ascension in the literal sense – as in, meeting the blacksmith and being given the choice to “choose for yourself one who could leave your burdens behind, or choose one who’ll be enough to bear them” – is a secondary but also interesting question.

i’m inclined to think that she did, and that’s interesting, because if true that implies salem had the chance to escape her curse – shed her old identity, leave all her memories behind, and be reborn new – and actively chose not to take it. and that’s so compelling because – why? what inspired her to refuse? to keep going? think about everything salem’s said about hope, that even the smallest spark can ignite change, breathe fire into the hearts of the weary, that hope is mankind’s greatest strength; think about how that hits if—

—these are the same picture.

and then there’s ‘the shallow sea’:

“They didn’t do anything to us,” the people on the shore called. “The water hasn’t changed us. It has washed away the lies to reveal what we’ve always been, just under the surface. Our old forms were just a shallow disguise. This is who we are.” A few dozen more people on the boat were convinced. They dropped into the ocean, and though they transformed more slowly, by the time they stepped out of the water, they, too, had become their true selves and were welcomed onto the island.

like, think about what it says about salem for this to be how she sees herself, how she conceives of her transformation – that in becoming grimm she became more herself. true, we haven’t yet gotten hard confirmation that ‘the shallow sea’ is an allegorical account of salem’s metamorphosis, but the writing is on the wall. lol.

she’s the same person as before but she isn’t human, doesn’t feel human anymore, doesn’t want to be human. certainly there is a degree of trauma and isolation and dehumanization at work here, but at the heart of it – and this is why, i think, she chose to return as herself, if she found the blacksmith in the grimm pool – is this idea that her human-self was a ‘lie.’

the brothers made humans and made certain promises to humankind – light especially presented himself as a benevolent adjudicator who invited people to come before him, pray to him, worship him. they made salem. she believed in them. trusted them.

and in the end, they destroyed the whole world to spite her. the last thing either of them said to her was to blame her for the massacre they committed (light) and mock her for “still demanding things of [her] creators” (dark) – so why would she ever consider herself human again? why would she do them the courtesy of calling herself their creation?

cause here’s the thing – notionally, they made humankind to settle their differences. to make peace with each other. humans were the symbol and seal of the brothers’ harmonious coexistence, and salem proved the lie, and then she went ‘fuck you both’ and created herself: a person, a grimm, the living breathing combination of the waters of life and death, light and darkness, that the brothers refused to intermingle. she proved them wrong.

salem is not the one who sowed division between them.

they separated creation from destruction and enforced that dividing line with horrific violence. salem is the one who, left behind in the ruin of their world, brought the sundered halves of destruction-and-creation back together to create herself, and in doing so created a new world.

she isn’t the flawed human who disrupted the delicate balance and ruined the world forever. she’s not the divider. salem is the balance. the unity of opposites. the very embodiment of what mankind was meant for!

and they hated her for it! the god of light intends to wipe out remnant from existence to punish her because she saw through his lies about how the world was meant to be and revealed the truth he’s afraid of.

and yeah grasping that the grimm are not ontologically evil is a part of that (and i have no doubt also factors in her hatred of the huntsman academies because she knows humans and grimm can coexist with each other – evernight itself is proof of that.) but i think it’s less significant than the union she achieved, exposing the lie that creation and destruction are not one and the same.

[veryace-ficrecs]

Jedi Culture and Customs Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

In Search of Comfort by BreakfastTea - Rated G

A collection of short stories in which Cal gives and receives comfort, originally posted to Tumblr in 2022 and 2023. Expect hugs, blankets and pancakes!

‘The Temporary Temple Guards’ by RoosjeM - Not Rated

It was a widely known fact within the Temple, that the Temple Guards stationed at the Coruscant Temple were experiencing a ‘shortage’ at the moment. Seeing as Knights were sent out to complete missions and went on protective details, they were also the Corp that was responsible for the Temple Guards. - “I may have an issue.” “What is it?” The boy was alone. No one else was around despite it being the middle of the night. Just the boy who made a bee-line for Obi-Wan. He was way too young to be out at this time let alone out here all alone. It was the boy’s training armour that tipped Obi-wan off that this was more than just a lost child. “I have a youngling in front of me. There is no one else around and I am pretty sure he’s Mandalorian.” Quinlan paused, then asked, “...Come again?” Obi-Wan peered down at the child tugging at his arm. “Aran, ner echoy'la.” Kriff. “Correction, I have a Mandalorian boy in front of me telling me he’s lost.” - Or it’s Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi’s turn to be a Temporary Temple Guard and of course one of his past missions comes back to haunt him.

My head is warm, my feet are cold by themonopolyhat - Rated T

No one knows yet how in the Sith hells Obi-Wan managed to sneak up to his quarters before collapsing, either. The fact that he did so on the morning of his own fucking funeral is so theatrical that Vokara may never forgive him.

Or: Obi-Wan rescues himself, gives a Padawan anxiety, and creates problems for Mace and Vokara.

An AU/remix of Night_Fury's if i don't make it back (from where i've gone).

Knights of the Republic by darkstars12 - Rated G

For too many years the Jedi have been mysterious to us. They have been idolized to the point of legend and today we’re here to set the record straight. The Jedi are not some kind of little gods, but rather a beautiful and unique culture that has yet to be explored within modern media. I’m your host Xiaan Pauk and this is Knights of the Republic: Unfiltered.

carried in your heart by grumpyhedgehogs - Rated G

“I am always with you.” Obi-Wan tells her. Her heart thumps painfully in her chest as her grandmaster rests his palm over it. The organ betrays her, beats away like it can crack her ribs apart and slip between them to leap into Obi-Wan’s chest and stay there with him, always. Slowly, tentatively, Ahsoka lets Obi-Wan guide her to rest her own palm over his heart. It pulses under her fingers, reminding Ahsoka at least one Jedi still lives on. “You are always with me.”

Mace's Headache by Siri_Kenobi12 - Rated G

The Jedi Council is shocked after that fateful meeting with Qui-Gon Jinn in TPM, but should they really be surprised that the ‘Maverick’ of the Order would somehow be the epicenter of the prophesied “Chosen One” and the reemergence of the Sith? Should they really be surprised that the Padawan raised by the defiant Dooku would find a loophole in the code in order to get what he wants? That he’d stubbornly stick to his position even if it meant he inadvertently crushed the future of a promising young man in the process? The question plaguing Mace’s mind now is, does he step in to try and fix it? Or does he just leave things alone? Either way Mace Windu already has a headache.

in the swing over the creek by ash_in_a_burrito - Rated T

Obi-Wan Kenobi was sitting in the corner of the crèche, drawing pictures.

Stardust Showers by ash_in_a_burrito - Rated G

Obi-Wan Kenobi looked to the left. He looked to the right. Now was his chance. Time to escape!

the moon slides down the stairs by ash_in_a_burrito - Rated T

Depa Billaba led her padawan, Caleb Dume, through the halls of the Jedi Temple. The path they took was one that was as familiar to her as the katas of Shii-Cho. or Shatterpoint Lineage Dinner, with a twist

Epistolary Investigations by Knifehawk - Rated T

History is an interesting thing, especially when it involves an organization like the Jedi Order that has records stretching back twenty-five thousand years. One would expect that such an organization would have a relatively clear and accurate understanding of their own history, especially history merely four thousand years in the past, but what happens when a single Jedi, desperately searching for any new knowledge that will quench the ire of his archivist friend, discovers information that calls the entire history, and doctrine, of the Jedi Order into question. Typically, debates would be had, accusations and rumors of heresy and apostacy launched, and the seeker would back down fearing their declaration as "fallen." When that Jedi is Master Yan Dooku, Padawan of Grandmaster Yoda, Jedi Shadow, and close friend of Archivist Jocasta Nu and Seer Syfo-Dias? It turns out that a great many things change. Probably for the best as time is running out, and a Force-gifted confrontation edges closer and closer.

then leaf subsides to leaf by The_Last_Kenobi (orphan_account) - Not Rated

You are a Jedi, and this is what that means.

a stitch in time by ash_in_a_burrito - Rated T

Obi-Wan looked out at his clan of initiates. The Dragon Clan had about ten younglings, all gathered around, looking at him with eager eyes. If he was being honest, he was feeling a little nervous about taking his first class. Quin had told him that it would feel natural, and he’d find it no problem, but Quin had also been practically raising Aayla since she was 4 years old.

Scarab by b1uebear - Rated G

“Master,” she said, “is it wrong for a Jedi to kill?” “It would certainly be wrong for you to kill that poor beetle,” Mace replied. Padawan Bo-Katan gets into a philosophical discussion with her Master. For Jedi June 2024.

Spread Too Thin by owlfeather - Rated G

A Jedi may not be able to help everyone. Elara refuses to accept it.

The Eight Younglings by ThirteenGreen - Rated G

The Jedi fosterer Master Laeus goes on another trip across the galaxy to collect younglings for the order. Her journey takes her to seven different worlds in the Republic, different cultures and peoples offering different receptions and glimpses of the galaxy, but all holding a part of the next generation of Jedi.

Little Muttamok Rescue by Jedi_Joanna - Rated G

“I want to keep her.” “No.” Dacken Harfai is a Jedi Initiate of Clan Dewback. Everyone says the war is coming to a close. This is great; now Dacken can figure out how to find who is meant to be his Jedi Master. And, of course, Amon -a muttamok who now lives with the clan- will help.

[yiliy]

I'm really curious how other people interpret this scene.

OBI-WAN: I have a bad feeling about this.

QUI-GON: I don't sense anything.

OBI-WAN: It's not about the mission, Master. It's something... elsewhere... elusive...

QUI-GON: Don't center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.

OBI-WAN: But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future...

QUI-GON: ...but not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the Living Force, my young Padawan.

My first impression is that Qui-Gon Jinn is right and the point was to show Obi-Wan Kenobi is still a Padawan and has more to learn. This was confirmed in a book I read (can't remember which one right now since there are several) written by a Buddhist analyzing Star Wars, where he confirms one's focus should stay on here and now.

On the other hand, Obi-Wan was 100% right here. They were about to be poisoned, attacked by droids, discover a whole invasion army, and on top of that Neimodians are chatting with a Sith Lord just a few bulkheads away.

It's not clear which of the things that happened are what Obi-Wan sensed, especially as he says it's not related to their mission, but it was definitely something real (my best guess is Sith revealing themselves), but if Qui-Gon had heeded Obi-Wan's warning they could have gained an upper hand instead of only manged to react once the bad things already happened.

Equally interesting is the choice to have Qui-Gon say: "I don't sense anything." He could have confirmed Obi-Wan's feeling and then said it's important not to let those feelings distract them. Instead we learn he doesn't manage to sense what Obi-Wan, a mere padawan, does, and even blames it on Obi-Wan's "anxieties."

[strqyr]

Sorry for bothering you but. Shoves my posts into your face. Oz parallels Darkness; he begs for humanity not to be punished for his actions like how Darkness didn't want the Jabberwalker punished for his. Destruction is not the enemy of Creation, destruction begets life (decay is an extent form of life), it's change. Oz embodies change to the highest degree and values it highly. He is demonized time and time again and he thinks he destroys everything he touches. He freely offers knowledge and especially choice. (<- this is all also why I think an allusion of his is Lucifer) Not only that, but he freely offers magic as well.

I just. Gestures wildly. Oz parallels Darkness so heavily that I'm so willing to bet that once Oz and Salem actually Talk, and Salem says something she believes about him, that he'll say "Is that truly what you think of me?" Or some form to parallel The Two Brothers. If he doesn't I'll fucking eat my hat and I don't even have one

yeah, oz definitely has more parallels with darkness than he does with light. like, while the gods don't embody only one specific gift, darkness is still associated more with destruction, and that is where oz's curse comes to play: he lives, he dies, and he reincarnates into a body of a like-minded soul, and with each life he's changed.

and i think what makes it even more poignant is that. . . it didn't necessarily have to be that way? if ozma's first reincarnation is anything to go by, he could have just taken over and remained unchanged, but he learned to live with each of his hosts, living their lives as much as they lived his.

in general i find oz's relationship with each gift quite fascinating. he uses the sword to end the bloodiest war in the history of remnant, and in the aftermath brings change. he uses the staff to raise atlas, making using it again quite a hurdle, highlighting the stagnancy of creation without destruction. he established the academies, institutions of knowledge and learning, but keeps the same secret close to his chest that brought him despair when he got his answer from jinn. he offers choice and encourages others to think it through instead of taking the first answer (as much as the circumstances were awful, at the time), but it is slightly undermined by the knowledge he keeps to himself that may or may not influence the choices others make.

and so much of it is informed by his own past, his own experiences, his own fear of what might happen that at times "slows" him down, where he doesn't quite follow the gifts as they should, while also following them in a different manner.

and, idk, it somehow makes me think of V9 and balance that isn't two forces locked in never-ending battle, but an ecosystem, an organism, a living breathing thing, that will find its own equilibrium, only requiring love and patience to see things through to the end.

and it's just. oz. that's oz, in a way. yes he's made mistakes and missteps along the way, but especially now that he's with oscar, he's closer than ever to finding the true balance, me thinks—and that's why it worries me that they were both fighting against the merge because that's. that's two (or more) forces locked in a battle of balance. "thus, balance cannot be restored with force or calculations" y'all i am concerned.

. . .where was i. i feel i got off the track lmao but yeah. yeah, i honestly think the like. biggest turn of events or something, words escape me, comes from salem because there's something she doesn't know about oz. it's the same as with everyone else—including ozma himself—learning about salem's immortality, just this time it's time for salem to learn something that changes her view of oz and that's where, yeah, something akin to "is that truly what you think of me?" might come out.

[threebea]

Reva as Obi-Wan's Padawan tho.

She belongs in disaster lineage.

Everyone lives no one leaves Yoda lineage dinner where she gets to be the baby and challenges Anakin to arm wrestle to defend Obi-Wan's honour (he called him old). R2 absolutely mildly sabotages Anakin's arm to help (it's an easy fix and he lives for chaos).

Obi-Wan has to give a lecture about not messing with someone's prosthetics and while he appreciates her dedication she does not have to arm wrestle people that call him old or they'd be there all day. Even Qui-Gon calls him Old Man now. "It's called being the only mature person in the lineage."

Xanatos tries to argue but Obi-Wan has a list. His is three pages.

Xanatos coincides the point and immediately calls Obi-Wan an Old Man.

Yoda (who has 10 pages with citations) agrees with this statement.

Xanatos is immediately tackled by a small Padawan once again defending her Master's honour (she knows better than to take on Yoda but she's pretty sure she can take out Xanatos and Master said no arm wrestling. He didn't mention actual wrestling).

Meanwhile, Feemor, Komari, and Rael are at the cool kids table playing sabacc. Feemor keeps winning. How does Feemor keeps winning!? (Feemor was taught by Qui-Gon 'Cheating at Cards as the Force Wills' Jinn and combines it with his 'hey look it's just Feemor he's harmless aura').

Speaking of, Qui-Gon takes Dooku to the cleaners because he believes in Anakin, but he knows never to bet against small determined teenagers and absolutely bet on Reva to win.

Ahsoka playfully defends Anakin's honour and wins, but then gets to brag about how she must be so much stronger than her (old) Master which results in play fighting. Everyone including Dooku gets in a dogpile with Yoda standing on-top of the undignified Jedi stack.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, I don't know if you take requests for updates of already existing lists, but I wondered if you'd have any new recommendations of fics dealing with John's internalised homophobia? I particularly enjoy agirlsname's work. Thanks !

Hey Nonny!

I'm ALWAYS taking requests for lists!! Thank you for this one, it's been sitting for awhile awaiting a prompt!!

Cheers!

INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA Pt. 2

See also:

John’s Internalized Homophobia

Homophobia / Sexuality / Pride (Updated Aug 2023)

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, Alternating POV, Scottish John, Online Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, Hand Holding, Forehead Touching, First Kiss/Time, Texting/Sexting, Rimming, Toplock, Sherlock Speaks French) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo. 

Rupert Street by WritingOutLoud (M, 27,262 w., 9 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Case Fic, Sexuality, Demisexual Sherlock, Drugging, Smart John, Sherlock Has Internalized Biphobia, Fluff, Angst with Happy Ending, Gay Bar, Flirting, John Manipulates Sherlock to Eat, John Deduces, Arguments, Kidnapping/Torture, Hospitalization, John Whump) – Discharged from the war with nothing but the clothes on his back and a realisation of his bisexuality, John Watson has to learn who he’s become. He can’t afford London on an army pension, but the city is the only friend he has. In an effort to understand his newfound queer identity, he heads to a bar one night, where he stumbles across a mysterious stranger who turns his life upside down. ‘I dug around inside myself, and I'm not quite sure what I found, but it was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.’

Domestic Matters by ohlooktheresabee (M, 29,404 w., 6 Ch. || Fantasy AU || First Meetings, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, BAMF Sherlock, BAMF John, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Supernatural Elements, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse, Elf Sherlock, Human/Elf Politics, Emotional Abuse, Possessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Buddy Greg) – All flatmates need to work out domestic matters between them - who does the dishes, who takes out the rubbish, how often does the carpet need to be vacuumed - these are part and parcel of sharing a living space together. However, when you’re an elf and your flatmate is going to be a human you just met, this rather complicates things…Very loosely inspired by 'The Elves and The Shoemaker' by The Brothers Grimm.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

[writersblockedx]

𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

Hi, Welcome to my supernatural masterlist! As this is the fandom I seem to have written the most for, it’s taken up around half of my main masterlist, so I thought it’d be easier to have a whole separate one where you can find every fic related to supernatural.

★ - Angst ☆ - Fluff ☆ﾐ - Series

Dean Winchester

★ Careful What You Wish For Dean’s been pining for his best friend for years now. Though, it isn’t until he breaks out from the Jinn’s dream world (in which she took the role of his girlfriend), that he comes clean.

★ Survivors Guilt When Dean returns back to the land of the living, he seeks out to locate his girlfriend. He finds her sitting alone at a bar; it’s obvious this time without him has changed her.

★ When Evil isn’t so Bad Dean was brought up to believe demons were nothing but the enemy, a monster to be slain. But when the Winchester Brothers find Y/n, a demon whose not so bad, his opinion begins to sway.

☆  Remedies for Insomniacs Y/n is notorious for getting herself hurt. So when she can’t sleep, Dean fixes up everything he can to ease her insomnia.

★The Soulmate Situation It’s written in every hunter handbook that to stay clear of ones soulmate; a rule of which Dean has lived by all his life. After Y/n fixes up Dean’s wounds, it becomes clear she’s more than just his nurse. The boy does everything he can to push her away.

☆ﾐ  The Side Effects of Curses While hunting a witch, Y/n gets a rather harmful curse placed on her. Slowly, the people around her begin to forget her existence - Dean is the last, and only, person who remembers, stopping at nothing to lift the curse. Part two When Y/n bumps into her forgotten friends on a hunt, they team up together, unaware of how they once knew her. Dean gets a hunch something is up and doesn’t stop until he figures out what exactly.

★ Lawless Y/n is assigned the impossible case of catching the Winchester brothers. When she finally gets her hands on them, a threat of which only they can solve hits. Y/n has no choice but to turn to them for help.

★ If It was a preference You had your own history with the Winchester brothers, in particular, Dean. So when the two bumped into you, accompanied by a new hunter partner, jealousy can’t help but grow.

★ That Grey Area When Sam and Dean discover that their fellow friend and hunter is in fact getting involved in witchcraft, they can’t help but take matters into their own hands.

☆ The Exception Y/n and Dean have been silently pining for one another since they first met. Though, things suddenly start to come out when the two venture on a hunt on their own.

☆ Bad Dreams When the mark begins to conjure vicious nightmares for Dean, it’s only a matter of time before his best friend finds out.

★  Places We Shouldn’t Go When Y/n suffers a panic attack at a crowded bar, the brothers do all they can to help calm her.

☆ Unwind After a long hunt, both of the brothers are tired and in need of Y/n’s comfort.

Sam Winchester

☆ Coffee Stains and Stolen Jackets Sam is utterly infatuated with a girl in his weekly lecture. When she comes in one day, wearing a coffee stained shirt, he offers her his jacket; it just so happens to be the start of something.

★ Places We Shouldn’t Go When Y/n suffers a panic attack at a crowded bar, the brothers do all they can to help calm her.

☆ Unwind After a long hunt, both of the brothers are tired and in need of Y/n’s comfort.

Casitel Novak

★ Healing Wounds Y/n usually sits behind the front lines, doing all she can to research the monsters that the brothers slaughter. When the girl finds herself shoved into the frontlines, Cass worries it may go south. When it does, he struggles to keep his feelings to himself.

--

If you’d like to get tagged in any future supernatural fics click here! Other than that, happy reading!

[aethersea]

📓!

There’s an atla au of star wars that I have tried so hard to bend into a shape that I can actually write, but alas, all I have are ideas. This is the one that’s in the wips folder as Everything Changed when the Clones Attacked, which is ironic bc I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do with the clones. Maybe they’re being brainwashed at Lake Laogai? Or something???

Anyway. The story has two parts, prequels and sequels. Details under the cut, because this got a bit long.

In the prequels, the elderly Master Yoda of the airbenders is Avatar, and in his old age he’s stopped traveling the world and instead dispenses his wisdom from one of the great Air Nomad temples, nestled deep in the mountains where only Air Nomads can reach. He’s unofficial leader of the council of Air Nomad elders, which is….not great, really, not how things should be, but it’s mostly been okay. He’s been a good avatar overall, and it’s only in later years that he’s leaned so heavily toward the Air Nomads, and really none of this is enough to push the four peoples truly out of balance. 

Our story starts with Qui-gon Jinn, an airbending master traveling with his apprentice, helping a besieged queen from a minor Earth Kingdom escape her city. (I saw a post once asserting that the Earth Kingdom is actually a collection of largely autonomous kingdoms that all loosely recognize the authority of the Earth King in Ba Sing Se, and I like that a lot, so that’s the worldbuilding I’m going with here.) Qui-gon agrees to take Queen Amidala to the Avatar’s council to beg their aid. 

Along the way, they encounter a young boy living with his mother. The boy can do a bit of earthbending—and also a bit of waterbending, and a bit of airbending, and a bit of firebending. Which is impossible, because Avatar Yoda isn’t dead, but there he is, bending all the elements anyway.

I don’t think there’s slavery in the atla universe, but we could probably get away with indentured servitude of some kind, and Qui-gon acquires Ani in much the same way as he does in canon. He takes him to Avatar Yoda—and Yoda rejects him. Says, essentially, “This is weird as hell but it’s also not my problem.” (Frankly I can’t come up with an actual good reason for Yoda to do that, but just go with me here.) So Qui-gon angrily responds that if the Avatar won’t take responsibility, he will, and then gets himself enmeshed in Amidala’s political problems to boot. 

And then he dies.

Something something evil emperor, yadda yadda you know the drill. (Though I think the empire isn’t going to be the Fire Nation, despite the thematic appropriateness of fire spreading unchecked to consume all in its path. Palpatine is gonna usurp the Earth King, I think, and I do feel the prequels’ themes around entrenched systems with deep flaws, which are too big to fight as individuals and too implacable to change, will fit well with atla themes around earth.)

The sequels portion of things is even less plotted out. All I know is that Luke grows up in the same nameless patch of Earth territory his father grew up in, and he doesn’t actually discover he can waterbend until he’s practically an adult. It’s a shock to everyone—except, somehow, weird Old Ben who lives in the desert, who tells him that the next Avatar is supposed to be a waterbender, and won’t explain why he’s so convinced Luke is that Avatar given that he’s pretty emphatically not from the Water Tribes. 

Luke is finally convinced when he manages to airbend, under Old Ben’s suspiciously skilled tutelage. He can’t pull off any other elements, though, so they go off on a road trip to that swamp where you see spirits, to try to reach the past Avatars and get some guidance.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to both of them, Leia has grown up knowing she can firebend. This is kind of an alarming skill for the princess of an Earth Kingdom to have, and even more alarming given that she’s already an earthbender. So she’s kept it secret, and no one but her parents has ever known.

They can meet in some way analogous to the Death Star raid in A New Hope, idk I have zero plot in mind here. The point, as far as I’m concerned, is that the Skywalkers have fundamentally broken the Avatar cycle. Anakin shouldn’t exist, and yet he does, and he was born while Yoda was still alive. If he hadn’t existed, the next Avatar would be a waterbender, and that’s Luke—except he’s from the Earth Kingdom. If Anakin is a true Avatar, then the next one would be an earthbender, and that’s Leia—only then she shouldn’t have been born until after Anakin’s death. Nothing makes sense! Even Yoda and all the other past Avatars together have no goddamn clue what is going on!

Imagine their consternation when they discover that neither Luke nor Leia is the Avatar: it’s actually both of them together. Luke has air and water, Leia has earth and fire; Luke can visit the spirit world and be the bridge between humans and spirits, and Leia can speak to kings and maintain the balance between the four nations. The two of them, together, can defeat their father, defeat the emperor, and restore harmony to the world.

[itsclydebitches]

As usual I'm not saying anything new, but a comment @lazodiac left on another post of mine about Ruby's memorial helped me realize why I find that image frustrating. Putting aside everything in Volume 7 and 8, those debates about how RWBY is defining heroism and whether Ruby has lived up to those standards, even if I agreed with her every choice 100% I'd still have trouble swallowing that characterization.

Because of Ozpin.

I've talked a lot about how giving him the godly quest and personal motivations (curse + formerly married to Salem + dead kids + Maiden origins) severely undermines Ruby's position as the protagonist, but a side consequence of this is that every victory Ruby secures begs the question, "Why hasn't this happened before?" We're supposed to believe that a teenager almost no one knows said, "Please come together" after dropping the scariest shit imaginable—information that has canonically, consistently left characters broken with pessimism—and people just did that. The ships arrived, Vacuo is letting the refuges stay, people are mostly getting along despite Winter claiming otherwise, etc. It's already hard to swallow, but given that RWBY is fundamentally a show about that hope and shonen-esque inspiration, I could kinda buy it... If it weren't for the fact that Ruby apparently succeeded in thirty seconds where Ozpin failed over thousands of years.

The problem with Ozpin as a character is that he not only has the quest that should have gone to our protagonist, but he's had a staggeringly long time to make headway on it. We know thanks to WoR and Jinn that he was out there creating the Maidens, defending villages, waged a war, rejected being King, founded the huntsmen schools, created a secret group dedicated to fighting this war... and he was still met with unimaginable setbacks. People refuse to trust one another, his allies betray him, and Salem continually inches towards victory. That right there is a damn compelling setup. After so long and so much effort, how in the world will they finally make a difference by the end of the series? Is it simply a matter of minuscule progress over many more generations, or—as we expect from the show named RWBY—does Ruby Rose hold the key that will make all the difference?

But she doesn't! Ruby is in no way unique, except for in the ways that the story has come to ignore. It would make sense if Salem was introduced as an evolved grimm, or irrevocably grimm-esque due to her fall into the pool, and the world rallies behind Ruby because of her super duper rare silver eyes (best to get rid of the other characters who have them). They never had a weapon against Salem before, but now they do! Huzzah! All praise the chosen warrior who will deliver us from this evil! But obviously that didn't happen. There's no reason for the people to believe in her, especially when we compare Ruby's efforts to Ozpin's. Does the world know who she is? No, she's a virtual stranger. Do they know Ozpin? Yes, he's a renowned huntsmen and headmaster. Does Ruby tell people to trust each other in a way that's inspiring and reassuring? No, she leads with information that, again, consistently makes people give up for a long stretch of time and turn on one another. Does Ozpin? Yes, as a teacher he's specifically working to instill this message in each new generation of huntsmen. Is Ruby an inspiring martyr? Sort of, but she died falling off a magical bridge while everyone was too busy running for their lives to pay attention. Was Ozpin? Yes, he died in a crucial battle that the whole world learns about and responds to in a variety of different ways.

There's simply no persuasive reasoning here. Ruby inspires the world because she "has" to as the protagonist, not because that's in any way consistent with canon. This isn't a case of, "Oh, RWDE is upset that a woman is the hero." No, I'm upset that Ruby was cheated. She's supposed to be the star of the show! Give the girl a story that makes a lick of sense and allows the audience to feel like she's earned this moment of messiah-like devotion please. Ruby as a character deserves better than to make all those mistakes and then come out the other side successful only because her writers are retconning things like crazy behind the scene.

"Remember her message" is absurd when Ozpin has been preaching that exact message for multiple lifetimes. It's literally his goal and his primary motivation, something he's been working at for so long that you've GOT to do more to explain how Ruby managed to succeed in a matter of days.

Like, on a funnier note can you image wtf could be going through his head right now? "Oh, so I spend centuries doing everything within my power to bring humanity together, shouldering the backlash as people realize the secrets I keep, and then this kid keeps the exact same secret, looses two Relics, destroys an entire Kingdom that I helped BUILD... and the people start listening when she says to trust one another? Okay. Sure. I'm COMPLETELY cool about this. Hey, Oscar? How do you feel about screaming at the top of our lungs for the next three hours straight?"

[tennessoui]

Kisses to distract for the playmaker au 🌌

omg from this prompt list, kisses to distract from the au where all the kisses are basically to deceive and to distract???? hell yes!!!

so i couldn't pick which kiss i wanted and then i remembered i made a playmaker post once about how vos is probably sent undercover/ends up at anakin's table and obi-wan freaks out and corners him and they're found and its so suspicious that they would be so close talking in a secret corner that before they're found, vos kisses obi-wan so that people will just think that they're horny only for vos to then die because That's Anakin's Little Mouse

so this is that....except a little different cause obi-wan's daddy issues are Daddying rn

(2.6k) (cw: a nonconsensual kiss. but also. like. murder???)

Obi-Wan can feel his heart beating. It’s so loud in his mind that he can barely hear what Vader is saying, and he’s sitting in the man’s lap, face tucked up beneath his chin.

He can’t remember a time he’s felt more exposed, not even the very first time Vader’s hands had found his waist and pulled him into his lap in front of half his highest ranking men. 

In the intervening weeks, it’s even been—well. It’s become rather…comfortable. If he doesn’t think of all the reasons it isn’t. 

Perched on Anakin’s thighs, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other held to his lap, he can press his face up against the man’s hair. He can close his eyes and commit himself wholly to listening to the men and women around him talk. Talk of shipments and delays, money owed, lives taken in payment. Obi-Wan can memorize everything and he can do it from the throne of the very mob his department has tasked him with bringing down. He can memorize it all and spend the moments in between pressing kisses to the tendons of Anakin’s neck, trailing his fingers along the in-seam of his suit pants, rubbing at the mob boss’ shoulder with the palm of his other hand.

Because—because that’s what the mission instructs that he do. He’s supposed to gather intel, gather evidence. And he’s supposed to do it without Anakin realizing that there’s a rat wrapped around his heart. The kisses—the kisses help. Distract him.

And it feels good. To kiss him.

To tease him into fucking him up against the wall the second they get somewhere private. To coax him into such violent need he dismisses his men and has Obi-Wan right where they’re sitting. 

It feels good, to be so desired that it’s uncontrollable. To be so desired that the desire must be dealt with, must be whittled down simply by the act of having. Of taking.

Obi-Wan doesn’t feel guilty about how good it feels. It should feel good to be touched. It should be some sort of bonus to the undercover mission that it is sometimes him whose hands shake with the desire to be on Anakin’s skin. It is not something he needs to feel guilty about.

It is not something his father needs to know about either, the way that the son he raised turns into a slut the moment a criminal gets between his thighs.

And luckily enough, right now, Obi-Wan is the sole decider of what Qui-Gon Jinn gets to know. That’s the nature of being the only rat to have lived this long in the Skywalker mob. That’s the nature of being the only rat. Obi-Wan gets to decide what he tells his team and what he leaves out of their quick and hurried meetings when Obi-Wan’s supposed to be on a run.

But—but he was supposed to be the only rat.

He was not supposed to look across the long table laden with food that Anakin uses for his mob meetings and see a face he recognized. 

Obi-Wan’s head is swimming, and his heart is pounding so loudly in his ears that Anakin must be able to hear it too. That must be why he adjusts his grip on him, dragging him further into his arms as if that will make him feel safer.

All it does is drag the hem of his shorts further up his thigh, exposing the lace end of the stockings he’s wearing. All it does is tug the droopy material of his shirt off his shoulder—revealing the strappy red lace of the bralette beneath.

It has happened before—hell, Obi-Wan has dressed like this in front of these men for the express purpose of this happening, of his outfit revealing what lies beneath while he can feign ignorance. Nothing gets Anakin’s hands on him faster than other men seeing what he thinks is only his.

What is only his.

He came tonight wearing the brightest colors of pretty things he owned in order for this to happen because it has been far too long since Anakin last snapped. He has been far too put together lately, far too...distant.

It makes Obi-Wan’s chest tight with anxiety. He has not yet been able to figure out what attracted the mob boss to him in the first place, and he’s spent the last several days wondering if it’s gone. If he’s about to be tossed to the side, ripped out of Anakin’s bed with the same ease he was granted entry.

Or—maybe worse, what if Anakin has made him as a rat? What if he’s to be killed?

What if his father knows that and he thought to send in Obi-Wan’s replacement before he can die? It would be less suspicious, wouldn’t it? 

No. Obi-Wan is being paranoid. Too paranoid. Even if he were to lose Anakin’s attention, he has the twins wrapped around his thumb. Anakin cannot kill him, his children would not stand for it. 

And—it would give him time to figure out what he did wrong, what made Anakin’s eyes stray. He could be better. Figure out how to do better, be what he needed.

For the sake of the mission.

And…there would be no way for his father to catch wind of the mob realizing there’s a rat before Obi-Wan knows. 

So the fact that Quinlan Vos is sitting close to the foot of the table…that he’s here, in this room, as a ranking member of Anakin’s mob….

That must mean that his father does not trust him to be doing his job. That Obi-Wan’s performance has disappointed him somehow, that he hasn’t been enough. He has not given them the information that they need and so his father has found a replacement.

And now the man who used to help Obi-Wan sort his father’s highlighters by color and size is staring at him from down the table, looking at the lines of his lingerie as he sits on the lap of the most dangerous mob boss in the city.

“Well,” Anakin says, tossing his napkin onto his empty plate. “Let’s break so that they can clean up this mess. And then—to business, men.”

The words are met with the thud and scrape of twenty or thirty chairs pushing back from their seats as the owners vacate them obediently. Obi-Wan, just as obedient, stays still. Anakin’s hand has clasped around the back of his neck, keeping him in position. 

“You’re shaking, little mouse,” the mob boss murmurs.

“It’s cold,” Obi-Wan replies automatically, turning his face into his neck. He presses the faintest of kisses there and thinks about ripping the man’s throat open with his teeth, ending all of his problems now. 

“Aw, baby, but you look so pretty like this,” Anakin says, ghosting his hand up the outside of his thigh and resting it just beneath the hem of his shorts. Then, his tone changes, growing lower, darker. Vader.  “The men couldn’t look away.”

Obi-Wan tries to draw a breath, but it stalls out in his chest. He stills, and then immediately tries to pretend that he hasn’t, that his thoughts have flown to Vos, who had been just as surprised to see him in Anakin’s lap as Obi-Wan had been to see him at Anakin’s table. 

“Hm?” Vader continues, as if Obi-Wan has spoken.

“I didn’t notice,” Obi-Wan finally says, sitting back so he can look fully into Vader’s eyes. “All I was looking at was you.”

They’re different from Anakin’s, Vader’s eyes. He would include this in his reports if he could figure out a way to say it that doesn’t make him sound insane. It’s been a long-held theory, that Anakin Skywalker isn’t always just Anakin Skywalker, but no one’s ever been able to have irrefutable proof.

But looking into Vader’s eyes, Obi-Wan knows. Knows it’s Vader who is looking back. Anakin is a dangerous man all on his own, but Vader…Vader is another beast entirely.

One that Obi-Wan isn’t prepared to deal with right now. Not when he is so on edge. When Vos is here. At Anakin’s restaurant. At his table.

Does Obi-Wan’s father really think he has failed so entirely? Does he really think he needs to be replaced? Needs support?

“I need to stretch my legs,” Obi-Wan says, pushing away from Vader’s chest. “I heard you and Ahsoka talking over it, I know this meeting will be a long one.” “My, what big ears you have, little mouse,” Vader says silkily, even as he drops his hands and leans back in his chair. The dismissal is clear; Obi-Wan is being given what he wants.

He gets several steps away before he looks back at Anakin, hands tightening into fists and releasing. 

The man is watching him go, wine glass raised in front of his lips. He hasn’t closed his legs yet, sprawling out on his chair like it’s a throne.

And Obi-Wan is—torn. He needs to track down Vos. He needs to find a place to talk with him. 

But he needs—he needs to stay here, with Anakin. He needs to turn back around and press himself up against Anakin’s chest once more, spread himself over him and make him feel good. So good that Anakin will not kill him nor tell him to leave and kill him all the same.

The shame and guilt that come on the heels of that thought are strong enough to force him to look away, force him out of the room.

He doesn’t get far.

A hand wraps around his arm and pulls him aside almost as soon as he’s exited the wide main room of the second floor of Anakin’s restaurant.

Obi-Wan makes an automatic, furious sound, but the hold on his arm only tightens as he’s pulled further into a dark and quiet alcove, mostly shielded by a marbled statue.

“What the hell are you doing,” the man who has grabbed Obi-Wan whispers furiously, and Obi-Wan goes almost boneless with relief. Oh, thank God it’s Vos.

“Me? What are you doing—” he turns around to face him fully, as much as the tight space can allow. “Did my father send you?”

In the shadows of the alcove, Obi-Wan can barely see Vos roll his eyes. “Probably in his mind, yeah, he did. I got back from one undercover mission, got sent the contacts for another almost immediately, wound up here, where his precious son’s whor—”

“What does that mean—”

“And he should have, Jesus, Kenobi! They told me you were making nice with the mob, wait until they hear you’re grinding up on Vader during his business meetings, what the fuck—-”

“No!” Obi-Wan doesn’t mean to say it so loudly or so vehemently, but he can’t. Qui-Gon was never supposed to know, no one was supposed to know, and now they will, and maybe his father will pull him off the case, can he do that? Would he try? If he thought Obi-Wan was doing a bad enough job, he would. He would take him away, get Detective Secura to arrest him next time they meet for information, it wouldn’t blow his cover, but it would take him away from—

From Anakin.

Obi-Wan can’t let that happen.

He hears footsteps, pointed and loud, coming down the hallway toward them. The break must nearing over, it’ll be time to get back to the real meat of the meeting, the actual mob business now, and then Obi-Wan won’t see Vos again. No way Anakin would let him spend a moment alone with another man—it would look suspicious anyway, if Ben knew this random mobster. Two rats getting cozy under the same roof, it doesn’t look good.

Anakin can’t know. Obi-Wan can’t lose him. He can’t lose him.

He can’t.

I’m sorry, he thinks and he knows it’s not good enough but the guilt does not drown out the need burning in his chest. The desire that cannot be controlled.

In the next moment, he’s pushing Vos up against the wall of the alcove, forcing him back with a grunt that’s loud enough that the footsteps outside pause.

Turn.

Just as Obi-Wan presses his lips against Vos’, pulling his own shirt down to look dissheveled. Messy. Like someone has been running their hands over his clothes.

“Oh, now that’s something Vader will want to know about,” Ahsoka Tano says. Obi-Wan rips himself away almost as fast as he pushed himself into Vos’ space.

It isn’t an act when he rubs the back of his hand over his lips. He’d kissed Vos mid-word, gotten the man’s spit in his mouth. He doesn’t like the taste, wishes it was Anakin’s.

“Tano,” he says. “Just making friends.”

Tano’s eyebrows fly up further than Obi-Wan’s ever seen them. “You get all your friends killed, Ben?”

Vos moves to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and the guilt and shame slam into Obi-Wan so suddenly that he almost rocks back from the blow. Vos is eight years older than him; was just fresh from the academy when Obi-Wan was still just a kid left to twiddle his thumbs at the police station waiting for his father to take him home. He’d gotten him take-out before. Coffee. Water. Little games to play with.

And Obi-Wan has gotten him killed.

“A little kiss won’t kill me,” Vos says, clapping a hand to Obi-Wan’s shoulder. There’s a note of bravado in his voice.

“Not quickly,” Tano promises. She raises her hand, snaps it when Obi-Wan doesn’t exit as quickly as she wants. “Come on, Benny. Let’s get you back to daddy.”

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan says, taking a shaking step forward. All he can think about suddenly is Vos, a decade younger and relegated to a shitty desk in the back of the station first year out of the academy, shoes up on his files, biology flashcards in his hands as he ran Obi-Wan through the questions.

What has he done?

What has he done?

“Please,” he finally says, stumbling out of the alcove, and when his voice wavers, he’s not faking it. What has he done? He has gotten Vos killed—and for what? Why had he kissed him? He could have—he could have talked to him, he could have begged. He could have explained the situation, why did he have to—

Because there is nothing Obi-Wan can say that will make Tano hold her tongue.

And there is nothing Obi-Wan can do to stay Anakin’s hands. He has murdered people for less. Perhaps this time he’ll murder Obi-Wan too, that way Obi-Wan will not have to live too long with the weight of this guilt.

“Ladies first,” Tano says as she opens the door back into the room. It’s buzzing with the sound of other people’s voices, the movement of them as they find their seats once more.

Obi-Wan walks forward and Anakin’s eyes snap to him immediately. They’re dark and narrowed, as if he already knows more than he likes.

The walk has never been longer to get to Anakin’s side once more. 

He’s pulled to stand in between Anakin’s spread thighs, the man’s hands falling to his waist and pulling him in, splaying out across his hips.

“Mm,” the mobster murmurs, and Obi-Wan’s legs are so shaky that he has to clamber up onto his lap just to avoid falling apart then and there. What has he done. What has he done?

“You smell different, baby,” Anakin says. “What have you been doing?” Obi-Wan wonders suddenly, wildly, if he can smell his fear. If he could see it in his eyes as he approached.

“Making friends,” Tano reports as she drops into the chair next to them. “Tongue first.”

Anakin’s hands still and then tighten. When he speaks, his voice is low and deep and all Vader. “Is that right, little mouse?”

And Obi-Wan—there is nothing Obi-Wan can do save for letting the guilt kill him.

So Obi-Wan nods. He nods and raises Vader's chin with his hand, forcing him to look at him. "I told you I was cold," he said as if he'd been so cold he found another man's body to keep him warm in the minutes he was away from Anakin.

Anakin's eyes are like pieces of ice. There's no warmth in them, but there's a glowing light of something that looks a lot like hunger. Fascination.

It's the same way he looked at him when he first saw him. As if he were intrigued.

The expression makes something that has been wound tight these last few weeks dissolve into nothing. Anakin's eyes promise that there will be no more distance between them. That he has not grown so tired of him that he will be discarded with next week's recycling.

And despite the guilt, the worry, the shame that's burning Obi-Wan's insides to ash, that look in Anakin's eyes warms him to the core.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Merge the Timestream AU.

This came about because the amazing @bitter-chocolate-stars muse for the AU idea Merging the TimeStream flew out and bit me.  I would highly recommend reading it first, because it is awesome and I could not do it justice.

Now onto the madness. 

It is a mission to a Force Temple, old enough that no one knows which side of the Force it was for (or if it was for a specific side).  There were rumors that there was an ancient artifact that could change the tides of the War, so The 212th and the 501st were dispatched to get it before the Separatists. 

Five people went into the final chamber to search(There was a description of the artifact in the temple. Only four words had been able to be translated-Past, Present, Future, and Knowledge): Obi Wan Kenobi, Anaking Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Commander Cody, and Captain Rex.  

It was these five people who were caught by the artifact.  Each of these five were split into three. The present version of themselves, a future version, and a past version. 

I bet you all can see where this is going. 

Obi Wan’s past version is from Melida/Daan, two days before Cerasi died. The future is Old Ben, coming directly from his own beheading on the Death Star. 

Anakin’s past is nine year old Anakin, hours before he would meet Qui Gon Jinn and Padme Amidala for the first time.  The future is Vader (I hope none of you are surprised), a month after he cut off Luke’s hand, and just after he fully realized that it meant his and Padme’s child had always lived.  

Ahsoka’s past is three years old, just Found by Plo Koon. Her future is Rebels Era Ahsoka, aka Fulcrum, before she found out that Vader was Anakin.  

Rex’s past was a physically four year old cadet, the only survivor of his batch (who were decommissioned because of their blonde hair mutation-Rex’s scores were so high that he was kept). The future is Old Rex, post Empire (I always headcanon that Rex survives to see the end of the Empire because of spite).

Cody’s past is ARC Trainer Cody, after the war had started but before he was assigned to be Obi Wan’s commander. His future had just deserted the Empire and doesn’t even know about the chips yet. 

Frankly it likely would have been better if one or more of those people had arrived unconscious. Alas this was not to be. 

Upon arriving, Little Ahsoka immediately started crying to the visible concern of both Cadet Rex and Child Anakin (both were concerned about punishment at the noise). Before anyone could even think to do anything, Vader pointed a dramatic finger at Old Ben and went ‘You’ and followed up with ‘Why didn’t you tell me my son lived?’

Old Ben caulked his head, ‘Even leaving aside I thought I had left you for dead for a decade, Darth, why would I trust you with your children after the march on the temple?’

Now Darth Vader rocked back on his heels, “Children?” and then a moment later “Leia Organa”

Old Ben sighed deeply, ‘Surely we can both agree that the fact you tortured your daughter does prove me right to keep them from you.’

‘I cut off Luke’s hand too’ Vader said absently

Old Ben just buried his face in his hands.

Now all of this was with the background tune of little Ahsoka still crying.  Former padawan Obi Wan is the one who reaches her first, and picks her up, smoothly herding Cadet Rex and Child Anakin behind him, away from the adults in the room.  Former Padawan Obi Wan is radiating a vicious, desperate protectiveness. 

The movement caused Old Ben to look away from Vader at the rest of the room. His brow furrows. He looks back at Vader, “Do you remember this?”

Vader’s black mask turns to take in the rest of the room, his breath rasps somehow louder than the crying Ahsoka. At last he says ‘I do not’.

Post Empire Rex snorts and says, with an unimpressed deadpan ‘It is probably Force Shit’. 

It takes another half hour to get any kind of semblance of calm and start to piece together what is going on. In spite of the fact that neither Old Ben, nor Vader want to admit who they are (for different reasons), no one in the room is actually stupid. 

There is a moment when Rex is obligated to give Old Ben shit for the fact that he told Luke that Vader killed Anakin Skywalker, to which Ben responds ‘I was just passing on what he’ points at Vader, ‘told me’.

At another moment Fulcrum throws up her hands and shoes at Old Ben ‘I thought you were dead, again. Why didn’t you tell me you survived.’ Old Ben blinks at her, ‘Leaving aside I also thought you were dead, my dear, for the last decade I have had the single highest bounty in the empire’ Old Ben looks to Vader, who nods solemnly after a moment, ‘I would have thought that would be telling.’ Fulcrum actually pouts and mutters, ‘I thought that was a plan by the Rebellion to draw Vader’s attention.’

There is just…so much trauma in this room. Like it is possible that this group has the highest concentration of trauma in the entire galaxy. 

Deserter Cody appears to be having multiple concurrent panic attacks, his face swinging between Old Ben and General Obi Wan almost constantly. Between the residual guilt of having his general shot at, the horror of the long held belief that Cody had caused Obi Wan’s death, the combination of relief and horror at the news of the chip in his head, the combination of relief and confusion at Old Ben (who is proof that Obi Wan Kenobi did not die on Utapau), the confusion of being confronted with two other versions of himself all culminates in the fact that Deserter Cody is going through some things. 

ARC Trainer Cody is going through less, mainly horror at the chips. He is also very much a shiny as far as his reactions to the Jedi are concerned.  He is confused at being transported from Kamino, and does not know if he was transported to the future or they were tanspote to the past.  Frankly by all measures ARC trainer Cody is one of the most stable people in the room. 

Current Cody is sure that his younger self should not meet any members of Ghost Company on the basis that he would never live it down. He is also facing the horror of the chips, confusion at the triplicatation that is going on. His horror is that much deeper than his younger self because he knows and cares for Obi Wan (Light CodyWan for the win).  He is also quite worried for his older self. 

Melida/Daan Obi Wan is still not sure if he is willing to let any of the adults in the room near the other children. He is also doing slightly better with the fact that he grows up to be a general then the fact that he went back to the Jedi. He is also very much a child soldier with all the trauma therein.

Old Ben is not sure if this would be his heaven or his hell. On the one hand he could feel in the Force that he was before Order 66, all the lives he had felt snuff out were alive and well.  On the other hand, there were three Anakins in the room, at least one of which hated him. Also he thought getting beheaded would get him out of dealing with more Skywalker BS.  

General Obi Wan Kenobi is more than a little horrified. His connection to the Unified Force means that he is perceiving echoes of Order 66 through the future counterparts AND the variety of trauma that exists in the younger counterparts simultaneously. In addition, both his younger self and Anakin’s younger self are each triggering unresolved trauma.  

Padawan Commander Ahsoka Tano is staring at her older self in awe, when she was not staring at Vader in horror. She has also been herded to one corner of the room by Former Padawan Obi Wan, despite the fact that she is 16 to his 14. 

Fulcrum makes the decision that she CANNOT deal with the Vader/Anakin revelation at this point and is blocking it out. Instead she is staring at Old Ben. And glancing at her younger self, wondering how much being Anakin’s padawan had damaged her view of the Order. 

Little Ahsoka has calmed, now that she was securely held by a warmer than average Cadet Rex. 

Post Empire Rex is so, so done. This was supposed to be retirement. Being dragged back to the clone wars is not retirement. It was nice to see Fulcrum again though.

Cadet Rex is the definition of stress. He is not sure what test is going on, nor who these new trainers were but he would not fail. 

Captain Rex is not sure what to do with the proof that he would survive the war.  Nor the fate of his general as he stares at the tall black clad being. 

Darth Vader, in addition to all the issues he always carries, is looking at his younger self covetously. Had he had a way he would have tried to possess his younger self, who has everything he wants. At the same time he wants to sit this younger version down and tell him exactly how to avoid everything that Vader is (It should be noted that Vader has no idea how to avoid all that Vader is). He is also boiling angry at every version of Obi Wan, though distantly looks at the little angry version and wonders if this was a way to get his brother back.  The knowledge of Luke’s survival is drawing him back toward the single selfless thing he has done in decades, but he is still very much a Sith. 

Child Anakin is deeply confused and frankly ecstatic that he hasn’t blown up yet. It is very clear they are not on Tatooine and nowhere near Watto. He is also not impressed that he somehow escaped slavery only to become enslaved again (in his perception Vader is also chip controlled and thus enslaved).

General Anakin Skywalker is freaked out by Vader, who is radiating a weird greed at him, and also by the implications of everything the future people have said. He is also heartbroken over Palpatine being evil (even Vader agrees, in his own way, that Palpatine is evil). Everything strikes deep enough that Anakin actually decided he needed a therapist (There is something about the casual way that Vader talks about torturing Anakin and Padme’s children that cements that decision).

It turns out that the Artifact is the entire temple, so removing it is not feasible. 

Like in the original idea, I am not sure if the past and future versions find themselves eventually returning to their own times, or if they are stuck in the present. Though there is something that is amusing about the Jedi now having to deal with three of each of these five people, one of which is a Sith. Particularly since Vader both wants to kill them all and wants to protect them all (to prevent Anakin’s Fall).

It does change so many things though.

[bestworstcase]

Can I ask where you get your reading on Oz's curse? I'm just not sure where you got your interpretation(?) from

well, from the text…?

i don’t think it’s remotely unclear tbqh.

in the lost fable, light tells him “you will reincarnate, but in a manner that ensures you are never alone.” later in the same, we see that a reflection of the host remains and rebukes ozma when he begins to stray too far from the mandate (“what are we doing?” -> “this isn’t what he asked of me”). 

after the cycle begins in earnest, jinn states that “no matter what, his mind would eventually turn back to the task he had been burdened with,” and when she adds that ozma learned the importance of living with his hosts, what we see is an identical reflection of his current self observing him while he serves dinner to his family.

we know—because it has been stated many, many times—that the outcome of the merge is two identical souls sharing one mind. “eventually, you won’t be able to tell who is who anymore,” ironwood tells oscar. that’s what “you will never be alone” means, that ozma very literally cannot ever be alone because he has his reflection watching him. all the time.

now, in 5.3, oz tells the kids this:

For thousands of years, I've walked the surface of Remnant, living, dying, and reincarnating in the body of a like-minded soul. The Professor Ozpin you all met was not my first form, and clearly wasn't my last. It's... an extraordinarily strenuous process on everyone involved.

from this, we can infer that he doesn’t consider himself to be ozpin anymore—to him, ozpin was just the most recent in a long series of like-minded souls whose bodies he inhabited. (this is why i call him ozma: he doesn’t say it in so many words, but the way he talks about ozpin in this episode makes it quite clear that ozpin is not his identity.)

he also says this:

With every rebirth, my soul is eventually merged with another and I am changed, but my memories stay with me.

note the use of passive voice. oz doesn’t say he changes; he says he is changed through the merger of his soul with countless others “who’ve spent their lives trying to protect the people of remnant,” but his memories stay with him once he leaves them. remember what jinn said? “some lives were spent in mourning, many were spent attempting to forget it all, but no matter what his mind would eventually return to the task he had been burdened with.”

his curse is—pretty explicitly—a corrupted version of ascension. when an afteran ascends, they choose what their next life will be—nothing can happen to them in the tree other than what they want—and the blacksmith helps them find their way back to themselves and they’re reborn into their new, chosen purpose. they leave their factual memories behind in the tree, but the heart remembers and the self remains. they change themselves. 

ozma agreed to return so he could find salem. that’s what he wanted. his curse has changed him, over and over and over again, to fill the mold of “countless men who’ve spent their lives trying to protect remnant,” and no matter what he does, no matter how he tries to live, eventually he’s pulled back to “the task he had been burdened with.” he is not allowed to put it down. he’s not allowed to change his mind. the curse is specifically designed to prevent this. he doesn’t get to choose who or what he becomes. he doesn’t get to choose his own purpose; his purpose is a burden imposed on him by the god of light. it’s anti-ascension.

and… what happens when ozma decides to join oscar in fighting the curse, in the v9 epilogue? it hurts him. it inflicts pain on both of them while forcibly trying to push ozma forward. the instant he makes a serious effort to disobey, the curse becomes violent and punishes him.

also like. gestures at literally everything else the god of light does, to salem, to darkness, to the jabberwalker. light is terrified of change and obsessed with control; the idea that ozma’s curse is supposed to encourage him to change and grow by experiencing the world through the eyes of other people—other people whom the god of light explicitly disdains as “but a fraction of what they once were” without the brothers’ blessings!—is flatly nonsense. it’s antithetical to everything the god of light believes and values. lol