#which - and this is total conjecture - but I feel like in part that might be a thing he learned from his time w the military | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twdmusicboxmystery · 1 year

Text

FTWD 8x01: Remember What They Took From You - Analysis

Okay, so I rewatched FTWD. I don’t know that I have anything super groundbreaking over and above your excellent analysis, @galadrieljones, but here are my notes and impressions.

There's a "who you are vs who you were" line right at the beginning. The voice from the speaker tells Morgan they know who he is. Or rather, who he was. A clear callback to Beth and Daryl in Still.

It’s interesting to me that now, suddenly, Padre is a “he” rather than a group or organization. It was always an “it” or “they” before. I have a wacky theory about who “he” might be. I’ll get to that in a minute.

So, I totally agree with you, @galadrieljones, that various characters, including Mo/Wren, Madison, and even Morgan are all parallels to Beth in various ways. Even Dove may be. (She’s meaner than Beth, but she trains younger children to fight. And in the Daryl spinoff, we have that scene where doves come out of a box.)

The oxygen cannisters were a big one for me. And I’m not entirely sure what to make of them, yet. Back in 4x07, the Governor went into the retirement home to get O2 for @galadrieljones’s father. And that was one big foreshadow of Beth and Grady. Here, Madison is being given oxygen for her breathing problem, and it is how Wren finds her. So, I feel like it’s a potent symbol, but I’m not entirely sure how to interpret it. Obviously, oxygen is life-giving, and we can’t live without it. It’s a survival thing.

Speaking of that, Madison’s physical ailment—do we know what’s causing it? some sort of COPD or something?—is probably a foreshadow of Beth’s. I’m not saying Beth will have the same thing, but we’ve conjectured over the years that Beth may have memory loss or eyesight issues. I think Madison’s issue just foreshadows that Beth will be dealing with something physical.

In the opening credits slide, we see Wren, but near her are a propeller and a clown. I’m assuming the propeller belongs to a boat, since there weren’t any aircraft in this episode. And of course we had the defunct amusement park, which I agree is a clear callback to 7x12. Still, I don’t remember seeing any clowns in particular, so these are interesting choices for inclusion in the opening credits.

At the beginning, they bash out the walker’s teeth. I wondered if that could be part of the “speak no evil” theme.

The scars on Madison’s arm look like a bite mark. They aren’t, but the basic shape and such of the bruise really made me think at first that she’d been bitten. Clearly, that isn’t the case, but I also wondered if they made the mark reminiscent of a bite mark to foreshadow Beth. Just a thought.

You mentioned, @galadrieljones, about how the woman tells Madison that she knows she wants to die, but Padre won’t let that happen, and how it says a lot about Padre as an institution. I would add the fact that Wren seemed so terrified of getting into trouble. She bulled her way into Madison’s cell and knocked her over to keep her from committing suicide, saying she was not about to get in trouble on Madison’s account. Yeah, sounds like a real loving, nurturing environment for these kids. *sarcasm*

Let’s talk about Madison’s arc in this episode. You talked about how similar her suicide attempt was to Beth’s, and I completely agree. I also feel like Madison’s arc here, even though it comprises only one episode, is representative of Beth’s entire arc. So, first there was the suicide attempt. She’s very much taking care of children the entire episode. (I actually thought she was much more attentive and tuned in to Wren’s emotions and psychological struggles than she ever was to Alicia or Nick’s.)

We have the fact that she was inside this organization, trapped and imprisoned, for so long. They really emphasized “7 years in a cell.” I don’t know if Beth will literally be in a cell inside the CRM, or if it’s more that she’s just a prisoner inside their ranks somewhere, but it’s similar. Even when Morgan said to Madison, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know they locked you up,” I felt like it is something Rick and Daryl could eventually say to Beth. “I’m sorry. We didn’t know you were alive. We didn’t know you were a prisoner in there.”

I was also thinking about how there were 7 candles in a cluster on the table in Alone. We tried really hard to make those mean something. Season 7? Not so much. The biblical number of perfection? Quite possibly. But maybe they represent her time of imprisonment inside the CRM.

Now, we’ve talked about how Beth might still be inside the CRM when we see her again. OR, it could be that she was at one time, but now she’s waging a revolution against them. We see representations of both here with Madison’s arc. Obviously she was on the inside for a time, and even worked for them, bringing them children. Once she gets out, she’s instantly in revolution mode.

True, she’s not leading a group of people in an actual revolution (although from the preview, it looks like something like that will happen eventually) but between her, Morgan, and Grace, she’s the only one pushing back against the Big Brother entity. Trying to get everyone to see truth and snap out of it and “deal with their shit” as Denise would have put it.

And of course at the end, Madison is taken back in. Is that just a Madison thing, or will Beth be taken back into the CRM at some point? I think it’s very likely she will, but I could see it either way.

You talked about Wren getting her foot stuck several times, and that stuck out to me as well. It reminded me of Al back in the episode where she first met Isabel. She got her foot stuck in mud and ended up leaving her shoe behind. Here, we didn’t specifically have the lost shoe/foot symbolism with Wren, but given that she’s stuck, it’s related. I like the idea of comparing it to Beth stepping in the trap, and I think the symbolism is the same.

It occurred to me that getting stuck like that probably represents being stuck in a particular mindset, and unable to see the truth. The second time Wren got stuck in the swamp, that’s when the truth finally came full circle for her, and she finally understood everything that had happened.

With Beth and Daryl, it might have represented not seeing that CRM was following them, or that they were about to step into a massive trap, which was how Beth ended up at Grady. Perhaps Daryl not realizing Beth is really alive. I also think it foreshadows her time with the CRM. It might represent her not realizing how bad they are at first, or a memory loss thing. Who knows?

There’s a whole lot of people communicating over the radio in this episode. I especially liked that people kept saying they “heard the chatter” on the radio and came to the rescue. Morgan did that at first, and then Grace later. It feels like a theme we might see with Beth and Daryl.

Small note: I felt like they were really emphasizing things with the carnival. It was called Pips Pavillion of Wonder and then Pips World of Wonder in another place. I looked up “pips” and didn’t find anything super compelling. However, it did occur to me that the main character in Dickens’ Great Expectations is named Pip. That’s very much a book about losing the love of your life because someone has been manipulated and now can’t see the truth, but coming back together with them years later, when life and harsh experience has taught them truths. No idea if that’s what they were going for, but….

When Morgan almost kills Madison, she has a “seriously” line. Just made note of that.

Also, she says something happened that made Morgan “forget” his family morals. It occurred to me that a lot of the S5b titles were showcased here. Not necessarily spoken, but also in the themes of what’s going on. “The Distance,” “Remember,” “Forget,” “Try.”

Morgan mentions that Padre is trying to force them on a path toward an Estuary, where they can pick them up again. An estuary is a place where many rivers meet the open sea. So, it’s a sea reference. But I also swear we’ve talked about estuaries before. Maybe in conjunction with Oceanside. In a way, also suggests an interesting situation. One where escape is possible (the open sea) but the bad guys are also there to nab you.

Oh, here’s a big one. There was tons of talk of going back to Padre, vs not going back to Padre, right? Watching it the second time, it occurred to me how much it was like Rick’s, “you can’t go back, Bob.” We’ve really beaten that theme to death, and maybe this has been said before, but it occurred to me that it might be very similar to “you can’t go home again.” As in, even if you do physically go back somewhere, you aren’t the same person anymore. And that’s exactly what happens with Wren. She does physically go back, but she’s not the same person she was when she left. Obviously, she’ll become part of the rebellion at some point.

One thing that jumped out at me tho. Madison said “home sweet home” when they reached the houseboat. I started thinking about it and realized that each time that is said, the characters either try or believe they can make a home in that place, but then are taken by a bad group connected to the CRM. Beth and Daryl in Still. True, she wasn’t taken directly from the moonshine shack, but she was taken from Daryl and the situation at large. Maggie and Hershel in S10. They come home to Alexandria in the HSH episode. We know now that Hershel will be kidnapped from there. Probably by the CRM. And now Mo/Wren. Madison said HSH at the houseboat, and in short order, Padre came to take her away.

Of course Wren uncovers some of Morgan’s Clear graffiti on the houseboat. So, it’s obvious something sent him into a tailspin at some point. We just don’t know what, yet. I was thinking that perhaps Grace died, and that’s why he freaked out. But she showed up here, so that clearly wasn’t it. Then I started thinking maybe someone else he cared about died. But I’m not seeing very hard evidence of that, unless Morgan is lying about something. Which, he could be.

The thing is, this is foreshadow of Morgan returning to Atlanta. I know that’s pretty much the most obvious thing in the world, especially as we know the show is ending and these characters will probably merge with the others, but it’s just another example of how the writers foreshadow things. We haven’t seen any mention of Atlanta or King County around Morgan since he first decided to stay with this group back in the first season of Fear he appeared in. Now, suddenly, it’s showing up. And we know this is the last season. So, I’m just point out more evidence for how the foreshadowing works here. :D

And that brings me to my wacky Padre theory. Morgan said that Daniel, Strand, and Luciana were unaccounted for. I haven’t noticed any of them in trailers, but we’ve seen the others (i.e. June, Sherry, Dwight, etc.). We haven’t seen Al or Isabel either, but they’re missing for different reasons. So, originally I took note of that, wondering if one of them could have died and that’s what set Morgan off. But again, unless he’s lying about what he knows, there isn’t much evidence of that, yet.

They also go out of their way to say that Strand was no longer with the rafts when Padre found them. So, I kind of wondered if Strand is Padre. Obviously, he wouldn’t have started the operation, but it also seems to have grown exponentially since Mo/Wren was brought in. As we’ve already talked about, back when Morgan tried to escape, six guards were half of their force. But it’s obviously much bigger and better established, now. And that takes a particular kind of leadership. So, maybe the whole Morgan vs Strand dynamic last season was a foreshadow. Like a synecdoche of a much bigger conflict this season.

Or I could be completely wrong about that. No idea. But it’s what I thought of when they said Strand was missing and everyone talks about Padre as this mysterious “he.”

There were several interesting walkers in this episode. When she first escapes with Wren, Madison fights one that looks strikingly like the one Carol and Tyreese encounter on the train tracks in 5x01. And when Wren’s foot is stuck in the swamp, the one coming toward her, though male, I think, is wearing a bright yellow shirt. So, there’s that.

I also really loved when Wren said she remembered Grace’s song, even before she heard it. Another thing that could be applied to Beth. And, even though this is less about memory loss for Wren, and just about submerged or repressed memories because was a baby, we do still have a motif of recovering lost memories.

When she said she remembered the song before that, Grace and Morgan were genuinely surprised and touched, but they quickly swept those emotions under the rug. ☹

Yeah, I think that’s all I have. You covered the rest perfectly, @galadrieljones. Can’t wait to get more episodes!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

5 notes · View notes

keiichikuzuryuwu · 3 years

Text

Place Your Bets

Implied (Future) Keiichi Kuzuryuu x Reader

Summary: This is a reimagining of the manga’s version of the Four of Clubs game, featuring a very stubborn, very smart mother hen Y/N instead of a gentle girl.

A/N: I have literally never seen anyone write for Kuzuryuu and that made me sad, because I love him. Also I know very little about how to actually take care of a baby so please be forgiving.

TW: Blood, leg injury, a crying baby

Walking along a deserted street, a man in a hat was making his way toward tonight’s game. Based on his body language, you would think he didn’t want to go, but in honesty, he was tentatively looking forward to it.

“Oh my god, another person!!” The voice of a woman caught his attention, pulling his gaze away from the lights in the distance. As he looked over, he took note of how clean she was, all glow and innocence compared to the world around her- a new arrival, clearly. But what truly surprised him was the fact that she was carrying a sleeping baby in her arms. It was rare to come across a child here, much less a baby. Perhaps it was her’s, which was why she hadn’t abandoned it yet, “You wouldn’t happen to be this baby’s father, would you? Or at the very least have seen anyone who could possibly be their parents?”

So it wasn’t her’s. The man wondered how long it would be until she gave up on it.

“No, sorry. I’m on my way to a game, so if you’ll excuse me,” He tipped his hat and took a step, only to feel his arm grabbed.

“Wait, what game? Should I be heading there too?”

“You… don’t know about the games? Are you new here?” He already knew the answer, but no point in signaling that to her. She may end up a Heart Specialist and get into his head, after all.

“Yes, actually! One moment, I was going to meet up with my friends, and the next, the entirety of Shibuya was powered down and empty except me and this little one here,” So she’d walked all this way from Shibuya in just a few hours? Maybe a Spades Specialist, then.

“Well then you should come with me. We need to get you registered for a game so you don’t end up a day one victim.”

“Woah, what?? Day one victim??” The color drained from her face, before she grabbed his hand and began walking, “What and where is this game? Is it Trivial Pursuit? Because I’m really good at Trivial Pursuit! Wait, but that’s a one winner game and this is looking more and more like the set up for a death game manga but in real life,” She looked back at him, “Did I get stuck in a death game manga but in real life?”

“Um…” He didn’t really know how to respond to this woman. Regaining his wits, he caught up to her brisk pace and pointed in the direction of the lights, “See those lights? That’s where the closest game is. And, yes, you unfortunately did…”

“Brilliant, let’s go,” She still held onto his hand as they walked, confusing the man. They were complete strangers and he’d just told her that she was walking towards her probable death, yet she continued to hold his hand as though they were allies.

Walking up to the glowing tunnel, the man spotted the registration phones on a table, three of them already missing. The already registered participants were scattered nearby, looking at them strangely. Did they perhaps think he, this woman, and the baby were a family? The thought almost flustered him.

“So what do I do?” The woman asked him when they got over to the table, “Just take one of these phones?”

“Yes, here,” Handing her one, he watched as she tapped to turn it on.

“I don’t like the fact that this facial recognition already had me registered with an ID number,” She scoffed, putting the phone in her skirt’s pocket before hesitating, “Wait, do I need to register this baby too? I mean, obviously I’m not gonna abandon it, but… they’re a baby, they can’t really play a game.”

“No, unfortunately they need to be registered… Here,” Picking up another phone, he held it up to the face of the babe, the ping of the completed registration sounding a moment later, “You keep hold of this one too, since you’re holding the baby.”

“Alright, sounds good to me,” Placing the other phone in her pocket, she cooed at the baby, “You better hope this isn’t Trivial Pursuit or I’m gonna have to kick your butt, baby~ That’s right, that’s right~”

“Please don’t taunt the baby like that. It’s… unnerving…” Nervously pulling on his collar, the man was surprised when she just laughed.

“Sorry, I cope with stress by joking around…” She placed a hand on the back of her neck as they walked over to the others, “The only way this baby isn’t surviving is if it’d be better to do a mercy killing. Other than that, I’m fighting tooth and nail to make sure they get through this with me.”

“You for real??” One of the men closest to them, with spiked, pitch dark hair, scoffed, “You really think you can keep a baby alive here? Put yourself first if you wanna live, lady!”

“Come on, don’t say that!” The woman snapped back, before taking a breath and calming down, “Here, how about we start over and introduce ourselves?”

“This could be a Hearts game, or the rules could state we need to kill each other,” The only other woman there, a stark, gothic contrast to the Mori girl aesthetic of the woman with the baby, stated coldly, “I’ll pass.”

“One minute until registration closes,” A calm, female voice suddenly came from all of their phones, startling the woman with the baby.

“Huh?” Taking out her phone, she looked it over, “Guess it speaks too… These are my least favorite part of this nightmare so far,” Then, she took note of the camera app, “Ooh! Hey, wanna take a selfie?”

“You want to… take a selfie with me?” The man she’d arrived with questioned her, utterly befuddled by this woman.

“Yeah, come on! This might be the last chance we ever get to take a good picture!” Moving in close, she held up the phone, making sure to get both them and the still sleeping baby in the shot, “Awesome! Thanks for indulging my possibly last request!”

“You are way too chipper, lady,” A new man spoke as he walked up. Short cropped hair with designs buzzed into it and a mean face, this man screamed gangster. In reaction, the woman held the baby tighter.

“Entry has now closed,” The phones spoke again, “There are a total of seven participants. Please proceed into the tunnel.”

“I just hope it’s not Spades… I’m not very good at physical games…” The man in the hat grumbled, causing the woman to raise an eyebrow as they walked into the tunnel. About 100 feet in, the woman suddenly stopped, “What’s the matter?”

“I hear something…” Straining her ears for a moment, she suddenly looked up at the top of the tunnel’s entrance.

“Wha?! What the hell?!” Just as the words left spiky haired man’s lips, a barrier fell from the ceiling, creating debris and, more importantly, blocking them in.

“UWAAAHHH!!!!” The baby had woken up due to the world shaking from the force of the barrier’s impact with the ground, only for the woman to pull out a pacifier from her purse and stick it in the infant’s mouth.

“Thank goodness I thought to grab that…”

“W-We’re trapped in??” Goth woman shouted, panic taking over, “But that isn’t the standard!!”

“Guess they really don’t want us to be able to choose the coward’s way out this game…” Gangster guy placed his hand on the wall.

“ARGHH!!” Everyone’s attention was directed to the man in the hat, who was sitting on the ground, blood gushing from his leg, “Some rubble… it went into my leg!!”

“On no!!” The woman with the baby was the first to react, rushing over to him, “Hold the baby, we need to wrap this up and restrict the blood flow!”

“O-Okay…!” Carefully, he took the baby, doing his best not to shake as she took an extra baby blanket out of her bag and used it to create a makeshift cotton bandage.

As she worked, their phones chimed again- “The game will now commence. Difficulty: Four of Clubs. Game: Runaway. Rule: Endure the four trials and reach the goal within the time limit. Clear condition: Reach the goal safely.”

“Trials? Goal? What’s it talking about?” The goth woman mumbled.

“It looks like these are the trials it’s referring to…” At a man in glasses words, everyone turned around and saw what he meant.

In the floor, walls, and ceiling were various doors and hatches. The first door was in a wall, marked ‘Trial One,’ with a timer stating the lock released in fifteen minutes. Next to that, several round hatches labeled ‘Trial Two’ were going to release in thirty minutes. Trial Three’s vents in the ceiling were releasing in forty five, and Four’s hatch on the floor was set to release in an hour.

Spiky haired man noticed a placard on the wall by Door One, and walked over to inspect it.

“The distance to the goal is written here… But I can’t read the most important part. Damnit…” Sure enough, where the number should be, instead was worn down metal.

Looking down at the ground somberly, Glasses stated, “A conjecture… ‘Runaway’ means to flee… Something will come out of each of these four doors after a delay. Perhaps it means we should run towards the goal while running away? If the fourth lock opens after an hour, and we were to run for that amount of time, then the distance to the goal is around ten kilometers…”

“Ten??”

“Game… start.”

At that moment, the timers started counting down, and their phones switched to an hour long timer as well.

“Ten kilometers in an hour is cutting it too close! We can’t afford to waste a second!” With that, everyone save the woman with the baby and the man in the hat started running.

“Can you stand?” The woman asked him as she took the baby back, genuinely concerned about this stranger.

“With help, I think I should be able to…”

“Hey, you lot! Care to help a lady out??”

“I make no promises that I’ll hold on to you till the end…” The gangster helped lift the man to allow the woman to continue carrying the baby safely.

“Thank you in the meantime…” The man got out through labored breaths as they walked.

Within the first five minutes, everyone reached a bus covered in graffiti, the first car they had seen since the game began. By the time the man, woman, and gangster got there, it seemed their fellow players had exhausted it.

“There’s nothing here except junk, and it’s not going no matter how hard I hit the gas!!!” Spiky hair complained as glasses looked underneath the bus.

“The belt is cut, that’s why. Looks like this isn’t meant to be our method of transportation…” Getting up, he began running, “Looks like we have to run! We lost time here, so let’s hurry!”

“Gaaah!! I’m at my limit… There’s no way I could run…” The man in the hat groaned, “Don’t worry about me anymore, you all should hurry on ahead…”

“But-!”

“It’s like he says,” Goth woman cut off the other, “The first trial is about to start… In order to survive in these Borderlands, sometimes we have to do callous things. If you don’t learn that quick, you won’t be long for this world,” With that, she began running as well.

For a moment, the man, woman, and gangster didn’t move, until the gangster helped the man over to the first step of the bus and set him down before walking away.

“You too??” The woman angrily called out after him, “You’re going to desert us??”

“I tried helping… But now, things have changed…” He picked up speed, quickly catching up to the others.

“Selfish cowards!!” She yelled, shaking her fist at them. Sighing, she turned to the man, “Guess it’s just you and me, huh?”

“Are you sure? You should go run-”

“Nuh uh. I’ve decided I’m staying here, so I’m staying here,” Scooting around him, the woman gently placed the baby into the dip of the driver’s seat before helping the man up and to a seat so he could prop up his leg, “Let’s see…”

“What are you doing?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched her go up and down the bus.

“In order to slow the flow of blood more until we can get you help, we need to raise your leg. By doing that, the blood will- Here-” She took the baby and handed them to him again before looking around more, “The blood won’t be able to pump up there as fast, and it should give us some wiggle room.”

“You seem awfully knowledgeable about this. Are you perhaps a doctor?”

“Hah, no, I just remember a lot. Picked this up from a medical book I read when I was sixteen for fun. I’m actually a Masters student working towards simultaneous degrees in Psychology and Religion with a focus in cults,” Before the man could comment on how impressive that was, the woman sighed, “I’ve found a Japanese to English dictionary, a space heater, a set of keys that turn on this motionless bus, and a gum wrapper, but nothing to prop up your leg,” Sitting in the chair across the row from him, the woman took the baby back and gently bounced it, “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens…”

“I’m sorry I’ve dragged you down with me…”

“Nonsense!” She waved her hand dismissively, “I’m not much of a runner, and I’ve got this little angel to look after. There’s no way I could run to some mysterious goal even if I wanted to. Besides…” Her eyes shifted back and forth before leaning in and dropping her voice as though they were being watched, “Something about this game is striking me as odd.”

“What do you mean?” The man leaned in as best as he could, voice dropping as well.

“Before I tell you my theory, could you explain what exactly the card level of this game means? You said you hoped this game wasn’t Spades because you weren’t good at physical games, while the woman stated we shouldn’t tell each other our names in case it was a Hearts game. That means the different suits represent different types of games, while the number represents how hard it is, right?”

“You picked that up quickly. Most people don’t realize that their first game, it generally takes someone explaining it to them their second or third game for them to get it,” Thinking for a moment, he nodded, “Very well, since we’re going to be here for at least an hour, I’ll tell you. Yes, the number on the card connotes how hard the game will be, with Ace being the easiest, while King is the hardest. As for the suits- Spades represent physical games, lots of moving around and exertion. Diamond games are intelligence and wit based games, and are the least physically demanding. If you were to find a game of Trivial Pursuit here, it would fall into that suit.”

“I see,” She sounded enraptured.

“Hearts,” He paused, considering his words, “They’re psychological games… They mess with your mind and your morals, and are widely regarded as the most brutal of the four suits. If possible, you do not want to join a Hearts game.”

“And Clubs?”

“Clubs games like this one refer to team battles and a mix of the other’s elements. It’s an unofficial rule that there is always a total win scenario, that it’s possible for all participants to make it out alive.”

“Then that puts us at an advantage!” She nodded decisively, “If Clubs are a team battle, then by sticking together, we have a better chance at survival!”

“But we’re just sitting in a bus?”

“Look mister, I’m trying to remain positive here, so if you could work with me a little?”

“Alright, alright,” The man put his hands up, chuckling. From the sound of it, it was an unfamiliar noise to come from his mouth, “We’re at an advantage because we stuck together while the others are only thinking of themselves.”

“That’s the spirit!” She held out her hand for a fist bump, which the man would have returned, had it not been for the bus suddenly lurching forward, “The hell??”

“UWAAHHH!!!” The motion woke up the baby again, but neither the man or the woman had time to calm them down again, as water was quickly rising around their enclosure and leaking in through some gaps in the windows.

“Oh no, you take Yuuji, I’ll stop the water!” Handing the baby to the man, the woman began to shed layers of clothes, using her jacket, cardigan, tights to plug the gaps. In the end, she was left in just a camisole and her torn up skirt, having even used parts of that to slow the water, “There, that should keep us relatively dry as long as the water goes down soon.”

“You called the child ‘Yuuji,’” The man commented, a bit surprised.

“Huh? I did, didn’t I?” Laughing sheepishly, the woman sat back down, “Don’t know why, they’re not my kid. I don’t even know if they’re male or female.”

“Well, I suppose they do look like a Yuuji,” He looked down at where he was bouncing the slightly calmer baby on his shoulder, “Can I ask why you chose to take this baby with you? You even grabbed their diaper bag.”

“Guess I felt bad about them being abandoned by their parents,” She shrugged, “Something just told me I needed to hold onto them and protect them; which makes no sense, given that it’s not like I grew up with great parental role models.”

“Maybe you just possess a natural maternal instinct, bad parents or not.”

“Who knows? Maybe you’re right.”

For several minutes, neither of them said anything as the man calmed down the baby, lulling them back to sleep.

“It seems as though the water is going down,” The man finally commented, the woman looking out the window to see that they were no longer surrounded.

“Yeah, but now it seems like the temperature is dropping fast!” The woman was right, the air was indeed getting colder, “I’ll go turn on that space heater before Yuuji wakes up again!”

“Sounds good to me.”

With the space heater on, the bus quickly warmed back up, keeping the baby asleep in the man’s arms.

“This cold must be the… how much time has passed?” Looking at her phone’s timer, the woman's brow furrowed, “Forty five minutes?? When the heck did the first trial happen??”

“We must have missed it somehow while we were talking.”

“Weird. Maybe it just passed right by us,” The woman didn’t let it bother her too much, just grateful to have not had to deal with it. Silence passed for a few more minutes as the woman held the baby, before she spoke again, “Okay, something’s been on my mind for the last half an hour, and I gotta know before we die… You were totally faking your personality when we got here, right?”

“H-Huh??” The man’s eyes widened, and he could feel his pulse quicken.

“Acting timid and stuff. Fake, right?”

“I… I…” Sighing, he looked her in the eyes, “How’d you know?”

“I sorta guessed around the time you told me about the suits. Your speech pattern started getting more eloquent, your sentences became longer, and you didn’t bat an eye at the fact that I’m working towards two Masters degrees at the same time. That last thing doesn’t really have to do with the timid thing, but it did tell me that you’re smarter than you seemed. That accident with your leg was very real, something you didn’t account for that truly did leave you near helpless; but before that, it was all strategy so we’d underestimate you in case this turned out to be a single winner game.”

“That’s… phenomenally impressive,” He stared at her in awe, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Because I’ve been having fun talking with you and didn’t want to make it awkward,” Laughing, she shrugged, “But my natural curiosity got the better of me. I want to die with as few regrets as possible, and I’d regret not getting to see your actual personality,” Tears welled up in her eyes, and she kissed the top of the baby’s head, “I hope however this ends is clean and painless. I doubt it would happen, but if my family were to ever find my body, I wouldn’t want their last image of me to be tainted by something like decapitation, y’know?”

“Yes, I… I understand,” Moving closer, the man took the woman’s hand and squeezed it gently, “I promise you, if we survive this, I’ll do whatever I can to help you survive long enough to reunite with your family.”

“Aww, thanks,” She smiled sadly at him, “That means a lot. You’re a really nice guy, even if you are a crafty strategist.”

“I-”

KABOOM!!!!

An explosion violently shook the bus, causing the baby to once again wake up and cry.

“Quickly, on the ground!” The man pulled the woman and baby into his arms and got on the ground, shielding them with his body as the bus continued to shake. It seemed to go on forever, the shaking, as the bus grew warmer and warmer, far warmer than the heat the space heater would have been able to produce. But, finally, the shaking did stop, and the world became quiet outside of the baby’s cries, “Are you two alright?”

“Y-Yeah, I think so,” After she was helped up by the man, the woman grabbed the baby’s pacifier and returned it to their mouth, “That was the fourth trial, right?”

“I believe so,” He nodded, looking out the window, “All I can see are scorch marks, so I can’t tell, though.”

A little fanfare like tune emitting from their phones answered them, however.

“Game clear. Congratulations! To the survivors of the game, we will now supply you with a Visa.”

“G-Game clear?” The woman’s eyes widened in surprise, “You mean… we won? But that would mean…” Handing the baby to the man, she threw open the door to the bus and hopped out, running around the bus, almost immediately spotting the confirmation she sought, “The goal… It was the bus…”

“It was the bus??” The man limped out of the bus, handing the woman the baby due to feeling shaky as he saw what she’d found, “The graffiti… G-O-A-L… Dear lord…”

“Your injury saved us,” Tears flowed down the woman’s cheeks as she suddenly hugged the man, laughing almost manically, “It saved us! I don’t normally believe in luck, but tonight I think I’ll make an exception!”

“I can’t believe it, though! You were right!” The man laughed as well, “We stuck together as a team instead of only thinking of ourselves, and we survived!”

“Wait- oh no!” Pulling away, the woman frowned, “Those poor people that ran on ahead!! They… If the trials didn’t kill them, then… what did?”

“Anyone who breaks a rule like leaving an arena before the game is over or doesn’t achieve game clear… They’re struck down by a laser from the sky…” His words cause the woman to gasp, a hand covering her mouth, “I hope for their sake, their deaths were as clean and painless as the one you had wished for…”

Taking his hand, she squeezed it gently, “I’ll carry their memories with me, and push forward. As ill as they treated us, I can only hope that wherever they are, they find peace.”

“You’re an incredibly kind woman, Miss…?”

“Oh wow, we never did introduce ourselves, huh? If we’re gonna be sticking together, we should probably at least know the other’s name,” Wiping away her tears, she laughed, “My name is Y/N L/N, Y/A years old, Masters student, and guardian of this little angel until further notice. It’s nice to meet you, Mister…?”

“Kuzuryuu. Keiichi Kuzuryuu, 37 years old, attorney at law, and Diamond Specialist here in the Borderlands. It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss L/N.”

“Please, we just nearly died together! You can call me Y/N. Mind if I call you Kuzu?” She looked at him so hopefully that he couldn’t find it in himself to refuse her.

“Alright, you may call me ‘Kuzu’… Y/N.”

“Excellent! Now let’s get out of this place! I’m tired and we need to get you off that leg.”

“I believe I saw a furniture store near here that we could use as shelter before finding something better tomorrow,” He offered as she helped him limp out of the tunnel, the barrier to the outside having been blown off in the explosion.

“Perfect, let’s go there. There’s some supplies to take care of Yuuji in this diaper bag I grabbed, but we’ll need to find some more tomorrow as well.”

“Sounds good to me.”

An hour later, as Y/N and Yuuji slept soundly in one of the spacious beds on display in the furniture store, Kuzuryuu stood outside and pulled out a walkie talkie.

“HQ, please respond. This is Four of Club’s observer, Kuzuryuu,” Taking off his hat, he pushed back his hair and slipped on his glasses, “Surviving players- two of six. Dispatch the cleanup squad to deal with the disposal of tools and materials.”

“Copy that, sir. Anything else?”

“Yes… Tell the others I won’t be back for a while,” He looked back through the doors to where Y/N and Yuuji slept, a small smile on his lips, “I have a player I’d like to place my bets on.”

Y/N L/N

Clubs Specialist

End of Day One of Sojourn

#alice in borderland x reader #aib x reader #kuzuryuu keiichi #keiichi kuzuryu x reader #alice in borderland #aib #imawa no kuni no arisu #fanfic #headcanon #scenario #aib scenarios

78 notes · View notes

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 3 years

Text

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

96 notes · View notes

demonslayedher · 3 years

Text

Rambling about Kimetsu no Yaiba surnames.

So here I am, trying to study, starting with legit topics, digging deeper, I stumble upon this part of an article about the geomancy origins of the very influential "Kimon" (demon gate) when taken into consideration in architecture and ancient city planning, mentioning how disease and disaster was thought to enter the home via the hearth, gate, water well, and toilet and such, so these parts of the home required some deification to counter-act the evil, but it's written LIKE THIS:

And my brain shouts "竈門、竈門炭治郎"

Kamado. KAMADO TANJIRO.

And next thing you I'm back down a fandom theory rabbit hole. Nothing new, I already know the distinct rarity (but real world use) of this surname, as well as the fact that there are a couple Shinto shrines with this relatively rare writing of "hearth" in the name. But still, it makes me appreciate all over again all the very subtle use of lore throughout this manga, a huge reason I'm so obsessed with it.

So while I'm here, I learned this fun tidbit from an article that asked old people with rare surnames how they feel about them being suddenly very prominent (one old Ms. Kamado tried to start watching it but fell asleep), and I learned about the name 栗花落, notoriously difficult to read as "Tsuyuri". Basically, back in the Nara period (well before Muzan would had turned into a demon in Heian times), a dude was romancing a princess with poetry and made a reference to falling chestnut flowers at the start of the rainy season ("tsuyu") and the emperor was like "That's a cool idea, I'm going to grant that as a surname." (Actually, a lot of surnames get their start from emperors granting them.)

Now, we know Kanao chose this name for herself based on choices the girls set before her, including "Kochou" and "Kanzaki", already used by her new housemates. Poor Kanao probably couldn't read and didn't have any knowledge base to properly appreciate such a poetic name, which I'm guessing was a choice Kanae contributed (Shinobu didn't seem to have put as much thought into the choices for first names and probably didn't think much about surnames either, and Aoi was really pushing for her own last name to be chosen). Kanao might have heard explanations, or she might had just thought the kanji looked pretty.

But, what's interesting to me (and reading way too deeply into it) is that Kanao joined them on May 19. While we typically picture "tsuyu", the rainy season, as spanning June/early July-ish, the start of the season is tied to late May, so even in modern-day formal seasonal references in Japanese written correspondence (yes, formal Japanese is a fussy like this), appropriate references in May include a lot of ways of saying "we're heading into the rainy season, so please take care." Furthermore, the scenes we get of the Butterfly Mansion garden (in both the snime and the manga) include prominent hydrangea, a plant that screams "rainy season."

This isn't important whatsoever, but heeeey, it's fun coincidences.

A few other little tidbits and lots of conjecture:

--Tomioka and Agatsuma may also be names with ancient origins handed down from an emperor or two. Tomioka, written in a couple different ways and pretty uncommon (but not super rare) today, miiiiiight imply Giyuu was of relatively comfortable origins, perhaps with ties to the (defunct) warrior class based on his parents' choice of name for him (even toward the end of the samurai era only a couple generations or so before Giyuu was born, there were volunteer samurai squads named "Giyuu-tai" (righteousness/bravery corp). Further evidence of this is that even after their parents died of illness, it doesn't seem the children Tsutako and Giyuu were left particularly hurting for funds. In the "my wife" Agatsuma case, this is also pretty uncommon and I've only come across it pronounced Adzuma/Azuma. Since Zenitsu was abandoned without a name, we can't assume he picked up a rather higher-class sounding name from them. Either some caretaker he had later on chose it for him (possibly even as late a Kuwajima-shihan), or Zenitsu chose it himself (and this totally seems like a name in line with his tastes).

--Kanroji is the name of a temple; there is a pattern of higher class and noble families having surnames shared with temples (often due to ancient financial ties with said temples). There are, in fact, many existing Kanroji temples, and one of them in Wakayama even installed a temporary decorative "Love Pillar" and some subtle cat references and specisl promotions of the temple's preexisting good luck in match-making. Even the train stop nearby changed the sign to a pink and green fade. And yes, I am super disappointed that I had not heard of all this until the temporary promotion was over.

--Murata and all the Demon Slayer Corp extras (swordsmen and Kakushi, not swordsmiths who have metalworking pun-filled names) have extremely commonplace names.

#kny nerdery #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny fandom theories and meta #my unrelated exasperated research

93 notes · View notes

weirdmarioenemies · 3 years

Photo

Name: F Boy (again)

Debut: Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins

It feels so strange to look back on my very first post for this blog! It’s so... dry! Where’s the passion? Back then I really had no idea what I was doing and was just kind of imitating Mod Chikako hoping nobody would notice... but thanks to all the love this blog has received, I think I can write with a lot more confidence now! Not to get all sappy on the first paragraph, but I really appreciate everyone who reads this blog with all of my heart. And that includes You!

But if I’d known I’d spend several years using the moniker “Mod F Boy”, I probably would’ve put more thought into the name I picked, huh? I’m not even sure I’m a boy anymore! I just thought the name was funny and that was that! But given how indecisive I can be, maybe it’s a good thing it was so spontaneous... Like it or not though, I am more attached to the concept of “F Boy” then I was three and a half years ago, so it’s only fair I give F Boy the post he deserves and write a whole lot more about him!

Believe it or not, F Boy is a fire enemy! A single flame with dot eyes, the classic design they’ve been using since Fire! I’ve expressed love for them in the past, but this little dude is a little different... it isn’t found in a lava or castle stage like you might expect, but the spoooky scaaary stages, AKA Pumpkin Zone! Why’s that?

Enter the hitodama! Literally using the characters for “human soul”, these ghostly wisps of fire from Japanese folklore are probably something you’re familiar with even if you don’t know it! The Litwick Pokémon line, the flames on Jibanyan’s tail, the little flames around the boy from the toilet anime, or even the Embers from Paper Mario... that’s really just a couple of specific examples off the top of my head, but they are in basically anything associated with Japanese ghosts!

Though... all this time I’ve always called them hitodama, but I should probably specify they aren’t the only kind of ghostly fireballs! Onibi (demon fire) are often described similarly, and I’m not totally sure what the difference is! I suppose they would be more demonic hence the name, and probably less of a good idea to get close to. Also, if they're made by fox demons, they’re kitsunebi (fox fire)! Isn’t that neat! But there are no foxes to be found here, so F Boy definitely isn’t that (Unless it stands for Fox Boy...?).

However, you might be more familiar with the concept of will-o’-the-wisps, a similiar kind of legend from Europe- in fact, a whole number of cultures around the world have stories of ghostly lights and flames! There’s two explanations for this, either that it is a misunderstanding caused by some chemical reaction (boring, lame) or that hitodama are real and really exist for real (fun, exciting)! I encourage everyone to go outside with a net and catch as many as they can.

Even though hitodama can be red or orange in some traditional accounts, they’re mostly described as blue and most modern media sticks with that! Which makes it quite weird that F Boy... isn’t! He is a rather fetching orange of course, and without the added context of spooky old Pumpkin Land you wouldn’t be mistaken for thinking he is a lava enemy that just got lost or something!

Now, moving on to a completely different topic, something else that is great about F Boy is his little cheeks. Have you seen them? Here is the picture one more time in case you forgot after all that. He doesn’t have one in the sprite, so isn’t it quite weird to give a fireball enemy such distinct little cheeks? I want to squeeze them, even if they are probably intangible.

And finally, we come to the part we’ve all been waiting for- the name! You were thinking it, I was thinking it, it’s probably the only reason I chose to write about him in the first place! Because F Boy is a funny name for an enemy! I think it’s just quite silly to describe a fireball as a “boy” in the first place, as a term of endearment. It is just a boy! A little guy! He’s not hurting anyone!

But then they add to that name- one letter. That one letter, F. It changes everything. All of a sudden, there’s a question floating in the air- what, pray tell, does the F in F Boy stand for?

If you’ve been following our blog for a while, you might remember we added an addendum to the original F Boy post, saying the mystery had finally been solved- the English version of the Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia lists his name as Fireball Boy, which is a pretty definitive answer right?

But since then, it’s been more or less exposed that this translation took a bunch of unsourced and conjectural names from the Mario Wiki, leading to something of a controversy and a Mario Wiki page that is essentially just roasting the whole thing! If even the Wiki doesn’t accept this book as an official source, I wonder if there’s any merit to the name Fireball Boy at all! Either way it’s odd how this is the ONLY name they changed... do they know something we don’t? I dunno!

My next evidence to present to the court is something that isn’t really related to F Boy at all! Rather, in Super Paper Mario, the Lava Bubble enemy has a tattle that reads the following:

It's a Lava Bubble. This fiery magma boy loves the heat... Max HP is 1 and Attack is 4. Obviously, it's quite immune to fire... It pops out from below when people approach, so take care when jumping over lava...

Fiery magma boy! The chances of this bit of text being intended as a reference are very very slim, but what if, you see? What if? It’s still a fun coincidence, but what if though??

But of course, my favourite possibility is that it isn’t a word related to fire at all and is actually something completely different! I looked up a list of adjectives beginning with F and I’d like to highlight ones I want F Boy to have. Fabulous! Friendly! Faithful. Fantastic. Fascinating! French? Fresh! Fun, and Funky! Faultless. Fetching. Feminist! Festive. Formidable. All these and more describe the complex soul that is F Boy.

After all is said and done, that is F Boy! Who would’ve thought that a little monochrome fireball enemy from a Game Boy game could have kicked off so many months of writing for this blog? I said in the first paragraph that I would not get too sappy, but now we are in the last one I can be as sappy as I dang well please! This blog has brought me such incredible joy and friendship that you can’t even imagine, and my only hope is that I can convey these feelings to even one person who reads these silly posts. If you are reading this? I hope you have a wonderful day! I hope you have a wonderful life! I hope you never forget to be passionate about the things that really don’t matter at all, because no one else can decide for you what is worth caring about! Mwah! A kiss goodbye. I’m not sure how to end this post.

#mario #mario enemies #f boy #weird mario all-stars #mod f boy

109 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

You know, bringing Penny back already had the risk of cheapening her death, but NO ONE having an emotional reaction whatsoever and Pietro being like “Yeah, I guess she did die lol :D” just DESTROYED the weight of her death. Just another reason I felt nothing when she died again.

The lack of reaction to Penny's resurrection will, forever and always, be a black mark on the series for me. I'm not at all surprised that she was brought back given her android status and popularity among the fandom, I can't even fault RT for restoring our original Penny perfectly given the latter (as opposed to getting a "Penny" without her personality and/or memories), but the sheer indifference to her cheating death? Not just that, but treating her return like a joke? Oh haha, silly Penny with her overenthusiastic hugs. I sure missed that bubbly girl back when our enemies manipulated our now murdered friend into killing her and that trauma kick-started the destruction of our school :)

And this trend in the fandom of going, "Just wait"? Penny suffered from it too. Massively. Like we were told to just wait to return to Oscar's mystery shopping trip, or for the reconciliation with Ozpin to start, or, now, for Emerald to undergo an actual redemption arc, the lack of reaction to Penny's return was explained away as shock (and haven't we heard that one before). Ruby will need to grapple with these emotions, it's just that she was so stunned by this turn of events! But, quite obviously, that never happened. Ruby and Penny's relationship fundamentally returned to where it had started, with Penny making comments about how she isn't allowed certain freedoms and Ruby reminding her that she's a real girl despite it all. A death and the trauma of losing a friend? Not a part of their Volume 7-8 dynamic, to the extent that the story throws them a party in the arena where Penny died — and where Yang was framed, and where the Battle of Beacon began — and not a single character has anything to say about that. The meaning that Penny's death carried in Volumes 3-5 was, in short, erased... and then Penny's entire journey of learning that she's always been real is erased too in an effort to kill her off for good. Her human body wasn't included because it was something she strove for (it wasn't), or something the group needed (it wasn't), or because it was a thematic culmination of her journey (quite the opposite), or even because it follows her inspiration (Ironwood's Tin Man would have something to say about that). It exists solely so that Penny could be murdered again, this time for good. The mad scramble to theorize that she's not really dead (again) is telling. Even the most complimentary fans, those who were quite happy with Penny becoming a human and took no issue with her story throughout 7 and 8, recognized that her death was a horrific, meaningless scene that served only to drum up shock value and give Jaune something to angst over.

I'd even go so far as to say her time as the Maiden was meaningless too. Not just in terms of her not actually doing anything with the powers and Winter ending up with them as originally planned — those two points have both been covered extensively — but in regards to the fact that the group didn't react to that either. Our formerly dead friend came back and a short time later is one of the Maidens? Neat! And that's the extent of their emotional investment in Penny's change. Neat, we've got a stronger fighter now. I just answered that ask that referenced Yang and Ren's fight and that's literally Yang's entire thought on the matter: "We have the Maiden." The Maiden is positioned as a useful tool in this war; a checkmark in the "Victories" column when your friend thinks you haven't achieved enough. But doesn't anyone care that the Maiden is Penny? It's particularly strange to me given the six years of fandom discussion surrounding Pyrrha's almost-time as a Maiden too. As someone (quite obviously lol) interested in Ozpin's character, his desire to make Pyrrha the next Fall Maiden is often viewed as one of his worst acts, supposedly taking this poor, defenseless student and manipulating her into accepting a power that will ruin her life. So much of this is conjecture and even more is an erasure of Pyrrha's agency, and the hypocrisy here is on full display when we look to the reaction to Penny's acceptance of the powers instead. No one is worried about how this power is supposedly going to ruin her life. Or drive all her friends away. Or make her a target to be murdered (again) which is precisely what happens. Or turn her into a tool for the evil men around her to abuse — even though Penny is the one who actually has storylines revolving around her agency, from Pietro building her to be Atlas' obedient weapon to Ironwood ordering her back to his side. Yet the characters don't react to this change with any of the horror we might have expected, because these views don't derive solely from fan headcanoning — we've got moments in the text too. Like Jaune convincing himself that Qrow and the others forced Pyrrha into this. Or the knee-jerk reaction to "real" magic and the horrible things it must do to you. Yet Penny walks out of that lab brimming with a foreign magic, something that Ironwood had always planned to pass onto one of this allies, a power that they know has gotten numerous people killed, and our group is just like, "Cool. Penny upgrade." Everything about Penny's Volume 7-8 journey demonstrates a lack of forethought; the authors' inability to connect what they're currently writing to what came before and what will come later. The lack of reaction to her death, the framing plotline going nowhere, a total acceptance of her as the Maiden despite complicated feelings in the past (and we can toss Yang's assumed secret about Raven in here too), the ableist and contradictory message of giving her a human body, dying again just an episode later, doing so in a way that throws Jaune back into the same situation we've seen before... none of it is emotionally fulfilling when set against the rest of RWBY.

And Emerald, as you say, is a crucial part of all that. Emerald is the one who originally orchestrated Penny's murder. We see her love for Cinder pushing her to attack Penny again just hours before she joins the group. Emerald pretends to be Penny in order to get close to Ironwood... and the only thing we get from all this is a quip about how "weird" it feels to do good. Their stories are woven together and the fact that RT doesn't seem to realize that does a huge disservice to them both. The question of, "How does Penny grow after being resurrected post-murder?" and the question of, "What will it take to redeem Emerald?" are irrevocably linked to one another... and yet neither character was given the chance to answer those questions in a fulfilling manner.

#rwby #mymetas

62 notes · View notes

addictedtostorytelling · 3 years

Text

comprehensive addictedtostorytelling csi meta and fic archive (current as of 07.22.21): part iv

_____

here is an archive of all of the csi meta posts, replies, and fics i’ve written since i first began posting commentary on and creative work for the show in 2014.

the archive is divided by subject, and each item is listed with the date on which it was originally published.

unfortunately, tumblr only allows 100 links per post, so i’m going to have to divide the archive up to make it functional.

the other parts of the archive can be found here.

there are currently 403 meta and fic items in the archive in total.

please note that some of these items were composed while the show was still airing and have since been contradicted or made irrelevant by show canon. please also note that all of the views expressed here are my own and should not be taken as authoritative.

some of the views i express in my writings have evolved over time, so generally speaking if there are multiple posts on the same subject, whichever one is most current will be most reflective of my present stances.

items marked with the ☆ symbol are ones i frequently cite, would consider my “cornerstone posts,” and/or are personal favorites of mine.

the symbol is mostly to help me find them quickly when i need them, ngl.

i will periodically update this post in the future as i write more metas and fics.

please feel welcome to send requests any time!

note: even if i have written on a particular character, pairing, episode, season, arc, or theme before, i am always happy to revisit the same topic, go into more depth, touch on another angle, or further explain as needed.

_____

CONJECTURE QUESTIONS AND HYPOTHETICALS

“if warrick had lived and he and catherine were both still working at the lab during s13, how would their presence have affected the events of episode 13x15 ‘forget me not’? would either grissom or sara have confided in them?” (07.19.21)

“if warrick didn’t die at the beginning of s9, how would grissom’s exit arc have changed?” (07.06.21)

“how would grissom have reacted had sara been the one to be kidnapped in episodes 05x24 and 05x25 ‘grave danger’ pts. i and ii rather than nick? would he have revealed the truth about his feelings for sara to the team at that point?” (06.19.21)

“how do you think grissom and sara would have responded to a pregnancy scare or unplanned pregnancy, particularly during their ‘secret dating’ phase?” (06.15.21) ☆

“could sara and nick have ever worked as a couple?” (05.27.21)

“how did grissom eventually gather the courage to ask sara out?” (05.25.21)

short answer: “could catherine and warrick have worked as a romantic pairing?” (04.21.21)

“who might sara have ended up with if she hadn’t been paired with grissom?” (04.18.21)

“how might grissom and sara’s unfinished conversations from episodes 03x03 ‘let the seller beware,’ 04x07 ‘invisible evidence,’ 05x12 ‘snakes,’ and 16x02 ‘immortality’ pt. ii gone had they not been preempted?” (03.19.21)

“when is betty made aware of sara?” (01.24.21)

“is it within the realm of possibility that grissom and sara would ever make out at the lab if they thought they were there alone?” (11.25.20)

“are nick, hodges, and the rest of the team more vigilant about grissom and sara giving christmas gifts to each other after sara lets it slip that grissom gave her the entomology book in episode 04x17 ‘xx’?” (02.16.20)

“could catherine and nick have worked as a romantic pairing?” (01.30.20)

“would sara ever tell greg her tragic backstory? if so, when?” (11.17.19)

“could catherine and warrick have worked as a romantic pairing?” (06.24.19)

“if grissom and sara had exchanged wedding vows when they got married, what might those vows have been like?” (06.04.19)

“what would grissom and sara call their children if they had them?” (07.28.18)

“do you think that grissom ever meets sara’s mom?” (06.02.18)

“what do you imagine grissom and sara’s first date/kiss was like?” (02.15.18)

“if grissom and sara are in some kind of long-distance relationship prior to the start of the show, then why does grissom go on a date with charlotte meridian?” (07.24.16)

“how would you rewrite the series finale, if given the chance?” (03.22.16) ☆

“how would things have turned out for grissom and sara had holly gribbs never died?” (11.23.15)

“what do you think grissom and sara do after the events of the series finale?” (11.15.15)

“what do you think happens in the series finale between the time when sara shows up on the pier in the afternoon and when she and grissom sail off together at sunset? how do they spend those ‘unaccounted for’ hours?” (11.14.15)

“do you think that after the events of the series finale that grissom and sara get remarried?” (11.07.15)

“do you think grissom becomes a vegetarian once he and sara get together?” (10.30.15)

short answer: “are there any scenes you wish would have happened during the series but didn’t?” (10.27.15)

“given that sara, greg, and wendy all supposedly used to work at the sfpd crime lab, do you think they knew each other prior to when they moved to las vegas?” (10.15.15)

“if natalie davis hadn’t abducted sara and ‘forced their hands,’ when and how might grissom and sara have revealed their relationship to the team otherwise? at what point would they have ‘come clean’?” (10.12.15)

“what is your personal headcanon for when and how grissom and sara get together in las vegas?” (10.07.15)

“do you think grissom ever finds out about ronald basderic (and the events of episode 13x15 ‘forget me not’)?” (10.05.15)

“who do you think says ‘i love you’ first out of grissom and sara?” (10.05.15)

short answer: “what do you think happens to hank the dog?” (10.03.15)

“once grissom and sara get together, how fast do you think their relationship progresses? for how long do you think they live together before sara leaves vegas?” (10.03.15)

“do you think grissom and sara would actually have children post-‘immortality’ (as per what anthony zuiker said in his deadline interview)?” (09.30.15)

“when exactly do you think grissom and sara get married?” (04.12.15)

GENERAL CSI QUESTIONS

“is there any significance to the way that various team members tend to position themselves in group shots (such as the ones in episodes 02x18 ‘taking the bus’ and 06x01 ‘bodies in motion’)? does their positioning tell us anything about team dynamics?” (04.14.21)

“is the in-universe date for warrick’s death the same as the in-universe date for sara’s kidnapping?” (04.28.21)

“real life csi cases: part ii” (02.13.19)

“real life csi cases: part i” (08.04.16)

CSI: VEGAS QUESTIONS

“did you get a chance to check out the latest promo for the reboot? what do you think?” (07.22.21)

“how do you think grissom and sara’s relationship will be approached in the reboot? are we going to find out what they’ve been up to since the events of ‘immortality’?” (07.22.21)

“what do you think brings grissom and sara back to vegas in the reboot?” (06.30.21)

“is carol mendelsohn going to be involved in the reboot?” (05.04.21)

“is there a chance that csi: vegas will be good?” (04.06.21) ☆

“what is the incentive to make csi: vegas?” (04.02.21)

“what are your thoughts on the reboot?” (08.11.20)

RECOMMENDATIONS & PICKS

“what characters do you like to see working together on the show? what are your favorite dynamics?” (06.19.21)

“what six episodes would you show to a new viewer to introduce them to csi?” (04.22.21)

“what are some of your favorite csi episodes?” (07.24.18)

“what are some songs you associate with gsr or grissom and sara as characters?” (02.08.18)

“what are your top ten csi episodes generally and top ten gsr episodes specifically?” (05.03.16)

“what’s your dream gsr au?” (04.25.16)

“can you recommend some sara or csi-related songs?” (10.25.15)

“can you list some of your favorite gsr scenes?” (09.08.15)

“can you list some of your favorite sara scenes/quotes?” (09.07.15)

FIC OR FIC-ADJACENT ANSWERS

“who do you think proposes to whom when grissom and sara get remarried after the events of ‘immortality’?” (06.29.21)

“can you imagine nick inviting grissom to a club?” (05.14.20)

“in a happier s8 timeline, how do you think the rest of the day would have gone had grissom and sara told everyone they’d gotten engaged once they returned to the lab midway through episode 08x04 ‘the case of the cross-dressing carp’?” (07.13.18)

“what would sara have done if her teammates had asked her how she’d known where grissom hides his keys in the aftermath of the events of episode 07x13 ‘redrum’?” (05.09.18)

“do you have any gsr christmas headcanons?” (12.15.16)

“do you have any gsr christmas fic recs or headcanons?” (12.03.15)

“can you talk about the period of time between sara’s abduction at the end of s7 and her leaving vegas in s8? would she and grissom have been able to enjoy some ‘happy, out geek love’ during that timeframe?” (03.25.15)

MY FICS

my ao3 account can be found here.

“something in you i believe in” (grissom pov, sara pov, grissom x sara romance, canon compliant, multichapter, rated m, work in progress): “one year after the lab explosion, grissom and sara are starting to figure things out between them. the story of how they become a couple in vegas. begins with the events of episode 04x23 ‘bloodlines.’” (07.19.16) ☆

“the theory of everything” (grissom pov, grissom x sara romance, team graveyard friendship, high school au, one-shot, rated t, complete): “science geek gil grissom has always been a ghost in high school, but everything changes in his senior year after he is assigned to tutor the head cheerleader, two jocks, and a punk rock wunderkind—and then a new girl moves in.” (05.06.16)

“just we two against the world” (grissom pov, sara pov, grissom x sara romance, canon compliant, multichapter, rated m, complete): “on one of their rare mutual days off, grissom and sara decide to hike mount charleston, but an unexpected discovery soon derails their plans. set between episodes 07x16 ‘monster in the box’ and 07x17 ‘fallen idols.’” (09.24.15)

“on the horizon, filled with light” (grissom pov, grissom x sara romance, canon compliant sick fic, one-shot, rated t, complete): “when sara comes down with the flu and loses her voice, she and grissom are forced to converse in sign language, despite her being less than fluent. set during s10.” (11.19.15)

“and argos lifts his head” (grissom pov, sara pov, hank the dog pov, grissom x sara romance, canon compliant, one-shot, rated t, complete): “after the events of episode 03x22 ‘play with fire,’ when he turns down sara’s invitation to be together, grissom adopts a puppy in an attempt to get over her (and to keep himself from thinking about how he just made the biggest mistake of his entire life). gsr from the perspective of a dog.” (10.04.15)

#csi #csi cbs #gsr #gil grissom #sara sidle #sara x grissom #otp: gsr #**#my meta #my fic #meta: csi #meta: gsr #my archive #csiverse

38 notes · View notes

vasiktomis · 3 years

Text

The Father’s Grooming of Faith Seed

That’s right, it’s an analysis in defence of (the late current) Faith, mostly in her younger years. Please scroll past if you’re not interested in this take. Please also keep in mind that these are personal opinions that I’m pulling based on game backstory and character portrayal, but I’m not without my biases. I wholly support members of the fandom who enjoy Faith being empowered in her evil, but it’s just not for me. I’m writing from the perspective of a former homeless youth, and while most of my thoughts are a personal interpretation of gameplay and conjecture from lazy writing limited information, I believe that I do have some insight into what Rachel may have gone through in terms of her attraction to Joseph and her recruitment into the Project at Eden’s Gate. Warnings under the cut: Mentions of child grooming, drug use and misuse, indoctrination, abuse, religious trauma. It’s Far Cry.

Yes, she’s flawed and she’s an absolute shite of a person. She’s a cultist. She’s a liar. She’s just as forceful and twisted in her indoctrination as Jacob and John are. Her methods are awful, and she’s complicit when it comes to Joseph’s orders and his corruption. No Seed sibling is anything short of a monster, and Faith is no exception.

At the end of the day, though, she WAS a kid when she was recruited by the cult. Before Joseph found Jacob, he’d already committed atrocities. Before he found John, the lawyer was a corrupt executive and a sadist. Rachel was a rough-sleeping teenager with one friend. She absolutely grew into the monster that she would become in her 20′s and there’s no excuse for her actions as an adult, but just as Jacob and John’s traumas were used against them in fostering their dependence on Joseph, so was hers. What makes Joseph’s influence over his adopted sister so much more insidious is that he couldn’t rely on family sentiment in recruiting her initially. Instead, he found a lost child and manipulated her naivety and her desperation for acceptance.

Rachel was a minor who was groomed by a strange man in his 30′s, and no resident adult stepped in to prevent this from happening.

I realise there are many fans who disagree with the point I’m making here about the vulnerability of Rachel’s youth, but your brain has not even developed fully by 25, let alone 17. She was a minor, and no matter the claims that she was happy to go along with the cult from the start, I believe her when she says that she was drugged by Joseph and forced to take on her role as Faith Seed.

The earliest information we have on Faith is tidbits from her teenage years. In-game dialogue from locals like Tracey and Virgil.

Disregarding the argument over whether she is or isn’t Rachel Jessop, Faith’s overall sentiment remains the same: She was a child without a community of adult role models. She and Tracey were drawn to commune-style living in their teen years before the Seed brothers arrived in Hope County. They had both turned to drugs, and were ostracised by the locals. Rachel grew up in absence of a safe space. She had little guidance, and those she could depend on and confide in were, well...pretty much just Tracey. Neither had healthy guardians to steer them in the right direction. They were on their own, and despite being of an age where (in an optimistic setting) their developmental needs should have been met by responsible adults, they were instead brought up without aid, and without acceptance.

Tracey mentions Rachel’s people-pleasing habits from way back in their childhood, even in the days where they hadn’t started living with the Project. She avoided conflict and wanted to be liked. She didn’t understand that acting as if everything was fine didn’t necessarily make it so. I applaud Tracey’s scepticism of Joseph, and her ability to see through what was happening early on when the two of them first joined the Project, but I don’t blame Faith for her blindness to it. She’s not even old enough to graduate high-school at this point. She’s been ostracised from an early age. She’s been swept under the rug. She’s got suicidal ideation and no one in this world loves her. What wisdom is she supposed to have gained? Tracey might be strong enough to carry on with the ‘us against the world’ mantra, but Rachel doesn’t want conflict. She wants a community to take part in, and to be understood and accepted. One day, the enigmatic leader of their church shows up. Everyone in the Project worships him. His importance is in their very scripture. He’s their Prophet. He, of all people, takes a liking to Rachel. It’s easy to point the finger and judge her naivety, but when you’re a displaced kid and a cool adult takes a shining to you, it’s very fucking difficult to resist keeping away from them. It’s very fucking easy to get star-struck by what appears to be a healthy role model, even if your friend knows better than to buy into it.

I grew up with a lot of friends who dated college guys when we were in high-school, and the argument was pretty similar. Most of us were able to see how insidious it was from the outside, but when you’re the minor in that scenario, it’s not the adult whose attention and affection and praise of you is wrong; it’s the other kids. They don’t understand. They’re jealous. You’re special. You’re mature beyond your years. Smarter than them. That’s why you’re hanging around adults and they aren’t. Reading Rachel’s letters to Tracey at the church, in which she implies Tracey’s envy over her spending more time with the cult than with her, I felt that Rachel’s lens had by this point been entirely clouded by Joseph’s influence. She cared about her friend and wanted to keep her by her side, but she’s entirely unable to compromise the feeling of acceptance that she’s found with Joseph. He’s all-knowing and all-loving. He understands and forgives. Everyone loves him, and because he puts Rachel on a pedestal, they love her too. Tracey disrupts this. Tracey doesn’t fucking get it. Tracey is the poison.

Rachel was Joseph’s best prospect for a new Faith. She was a blank slate and she’d obey him in earnest. She wouldn’t doubt him, because she never knew any better. She was legitimately happier in the Project than she was on the outside, and her honest belief helped to quell arguments of corruption and ulterior motive. She was pretty. She could sing and dance, and once they cleaned her up a little, she’d make for a perfect Siren. Typical of an abuser, Joseph successfully isolated Rachel from her circle. By now, he was likely her only voice of guidance. He and his terrifying older brother who has sworn to protect them no matter the cost, and his charismatic younger brother who gives her pep talks and knows what it feels like to suffer from drug misuse. Joseph helped Jacob bounce back from post-traumatic dissociation. He saved John from self-imposed hell. He could help Rachel, too. I believe that Rachel was invited to take the role of Faith, and instructed to get clean in order to do so. That at some point amongst her attempts to stop using, when she was totally alone and suffering from withdrawal, her invitation wasn’t nearly as loving as it once was. It became an ultimatum. I believe Rachel was given a heavier dose of scopolamine than Joseph claims they gave her. That in her lowest moments, her role model fed her the fear of banishment should she turn back. With the added aid of a powerful drug that massively affects decision-making and short-term memory, Joseph forced Rachel to destroy her identity and assume the role of Faith Seed. Whether or not she recalls this due to being under the influence at the time, I’m not sure, but the Bliss has set her free, and she’s now the Herald who will help recruits take the same leap she did. She’s in Joseph’s inner circle now. She’s trusted enough to be exposed to the ugly side of the Project, and while the view from the top isn’t nearly so wonderful as it once sounded, Faith Seed has no life to return to. She only has Joseph, and he knows it. She’s just as dependent on him now as his brothers are, and if she doesn’t please him, she won’t just lose that sense of acceptance she’s been chasing since she was a teenager. She’s too close to him now to know that the other Faiths didn’t just quit. They were disposed of. Once upon a time, Rachel wanted to die. Now she’s terrified that she just might.

#*screaming* thats my OPINION #far cry 5 #faith seed #joseph seed #jacob seed #john seed #how obvious is it that i want to break joseph's legs #i hope its obvious #religious trauma #abuse #indoctrination #drugs #drug use #drug misuse #child grooming #long post

77 notes · View notes

angstidote · 2 years

Text

Misophonia and Morality

So today I was reading this medical paper/article on misophonia because the sound of my dog snoring completely mentally and emotionally derailed me from writing, and what I learned was really interesting.

Scientists don't know for sure what causes it yet, but studies show that when a person with misophonia is triggered their heartbeat increases, along with feelings of anger, disgust, and sadness/despair. These feelings are not invoked by other negative stimuli (control stimuli), just by the particular trigger sound, which I’m sure many people with misophonia can confirm.

But what's interesting is that some of the main areas triggered in the brain are those associated with facial recognition and enduring personal harassment. We also respond with the part of their brains related to morality, meaning we find the sound to be (either consciously or unconsciously) *morally* objectionable which is why it's interpreted by the brain the same way bullying or other harassment is. The response is also linked to conditioning.

This makes me (personal conjecture, not from the study) think that it's probably a result of early childhood conditioning that linked the trigger sounds with trauma. However! The study found there was no direct link to the fight or flight response, as you find with most trauma stimuli. Fear was anticipated when they set up the study, so they were surprised to find misophonia doesn't invoke it, aside from mild anxiety which was speculated to be related to anticipated exposure (and which I speculate to be related, at least in part, to self-monitoring mechanisms--as in, I know I’m over-reacting and so I become concerned that I will behave in a disproportionately vengeful manner).

Because of this, misophonia seems to be linked not with physical or emotional danger, but with bullying.

Even though the stimuli will invoke an immediate emotional and physical response that’s similar to a trauma reaction, it’s not directly trauma related, though it might be a byproduct. It's more likely a side effect of having been in situations where the individual felt they had no control, and were forced to endure the unpleasant sound unnecessarily and intentionally. This is why there's moral implications.

This is really interesting to me because my primary trigger is snoring, and I'll bet cash money that it's a result of having been forced to take naps as a kid.

Now, in most cases naps are totally healthy for children, providing them with much needed rest and structure. However, in my case ((and I will note here a trigger warning for my personal experiences with CSA)) my first non-familial babysitter would put his children and I down for “naptime” but always with me in a separate place, where he would sexually assault me.

As a result, I became terrified of sleeping in the presence of anyone other than my parents. Yet, all through preschool, kindergarten, and until my subsequent babysitters stopped forcing me to “nap,” I would simply have to lay there for at least an hour every day, listening to other kids snore while ruminating on how morally repugnant adults were. As such, I assume the sound of snoring became linked with my feelings of rage and despair at having my trauma-related feelings dismissed yet again (no one ever addressed the situation with the babysitter). This is just speculation, but given that one of the most common trigger sounds for misophonia is chewing noises, I'll bet a lot of kids were forced to sit at the table during silent, emotionally tense dinners, or were forced to eat stuff they didn't want to, and developed (were conditioned into having) a moral hatred for the sound of chewing.

I’d be curious to know if anyone else can link their misophonia triggers to morally objectionable moments in their childhoods.

#misophonia #sensory processing disorders

3 notes · View notes

foxofthedesert · 3 years

Text

So I just finished my 3rd watch thru of Merlin, and yet again am brokenhearted. Not only by Arthur's death and Merlin's grief, but by Morgana's tragic descent into madness. Though I loathed the choice, I always understood why the writers went the direction they did with Morgana. What I did not understand was the way they handled her relationship with Gwen. It just never made any sense to me that Morgana could be so cruel to someone she clearly loved very deeply - even if only in the platonic sense. To me, it seemed like the Morgana that existed at the end of season 2 was replaced by a totally different, inexplicably cruel and insufferably smirky one by the start of season 3.

Still, prophecies need fulfilled and such, and after all it is a fantasy series based on a complicated mythology where Morgana sometimes is portrayed as evil. I just wish it was handled better.

Be that as it may, as a writer I tend to gravitate toward the untold stories within canon. That being the case, Gwen and Morgana's relationship is a natural attraction. I adore their chemistry, which makes them so easy to pair up. Since I am also not necessarily beholden to canon, that means I can imagine whatever the hell I want for them. Such an AU where their potential is realized before Morgause enters the picture to warp Morgana into her father's daughter.

This little piece is part of that. I may or may not add more entries in the future.

As a side note, this was initially supposed to be much shorter, but my fingers wouldn't stop typing words. Silly digits.

Ficlet below the line!

Morgana awoke giggling in an entirely unrefined manner. Her uncharacteristic bubbly mirth, she discovered, was due to a gentle tickling sensation all across her face. Once the wispy haze of sleep was blinked out of her blurry eyes, a familiar shape resolved into an entirely too handsome face wearing such a love-sick expression that her chest reflexively suffused with an affectionate warmth that quickly seeped into her very bones.

“What time is it?” she asked to the person hovering above her, voice still gravelly and slightly slurred from having been roused out of such a deep, blessedly dreamless repose. The pleasant tickling sensation began anew immediately after her half-slurred inquiry, and when she lifted her gaze she was greeted by rich brown eyes she would swear on her life she could live and die in.

“Just after dawn.” The utterly enchanting creature paying her such lovely attention continued to delicately and reverently brush calloused fingertips across the expanse of her jaw. “Sorry I woke you. I meant to let you sleep in a bit longer, I just really couldn’t help myself.”

A pause allowed a full, dusky lip to be pulled rather invitingly between pearly white teeth before her beloved added, “It seems I never can where you are concerned.”

Morgana smiled. A genuine smile, too. Nothing like the false ones she graced her guardian with, full of barely suppressed loathing and rage. Lately she had been consumed by disgust for the man who so many times proclaimed to cherish her, a man who would see her burnt at the stake if he knew who she truly was. Uther Pendragon claimed to be a fair and just king, yet he waged unlawful wars against territories that dared stand up against his brutish rule and relentlessly persecuted innocents whose only crime was to be born different. People like her. People with magic.

Coming to terms with her gifts had cost Morgana both countless nights spent in wakeful torment over horrific visions that plagued her dreams and untold days spent wrestling with throat-clogging anxiety over the possibility of discovery. There were many occasions during that frightening period in which she felt as though tottering precariously over a dark, abyssal chasm at the bottom of which lie only inescapable madness. Every second spent at court was an exhausting exercise in choking down a nauseating terror of the tyrant who held the power of life and death over her and would surely decide upon the latter should he learn the truth about her magic. Meals were a unique form of torture due to the perpetual knot residing in her stomach and every event she would normally revel in was transformed into a dreaded affair during which she could scarcely breathe for the crushing weight resting upon her chest.

Frankly, if it hadn’t been for Guinevere and Merlin she is sure she would have already plummeted headlong into those foreboding depths, right into the waiting arms of a hatred no human heart could withstand without incurring irreparable damage.

If Merlin hadn’t told her the truth about his magic as he lead her to Aglain’s druid camp, the pervasive sense of isolation and desperation worming insidiously through her mind would have inevitably forced her into drastic choices. Even before her magic manifested she had silently nursed treasonous thoughts toward Camelot’s cruel monarch. What might she have done if the walls closed in so tightly on her she felt there was no avenue of escape outside of acting upon those unsavory impulses? It hardly bears thinking about for risk of inviting such evil desires back in to her heart when of all her attributes, it is her heart which makes her most special – or at least that is what Guinevere insists to be the case.

Thankfully, finding a steadfast friend and ally in Merlin had done much to ameliorate the suffocating feeling of helplessness she felt as a member of the court harboring so deadly a secret. With much diligence and patience he was teaching her to control her powers, to harness them for good, and to have faith that better days were ahead for their kind. It was also mostly due to the Merlin’s deceptive wisdom and boundless optimism – and to be fair what reasonable person could resist that impish, dimpled smile? – that she began to view Arthur through a fresh lens.

If she bothered to look deeply, as Merlin insisted, to ignore the chauvinistic bravado and infuriating superiority complex, it was not difficult to recognize Arthur’s innate nobility and compassion that existed despite his monstrous father. And seeing as Merlin was as stubborn as he was convincing, it did not take long for Morgana to accept with a cautiously hopeful heart that with the aid of loyal friends, Arthur had it in him to become to the greatest sovereign Camelot had ever seen, a king who might actually prove himself worthy of the people both common and magical to whom he would be sworn to serve. Of course, she and Arthur still had their mundane squabbles and butted heads frequently over political and legal matters, but in the months since Merlin began her training, Morgana had acquired a new appreciation for the young man who was to her as good as a sibling.

As much as Merlin had done for her, however, it paled in comparison to Gwen’s contributions to her health and happiness.

For as long as Morgana had known Gwen she had held the blacksmith’s daughter in esteem far higher than any Lady should their maidservant. What started out as mutual respect born from shared grief over the loss of a parent soon flowered into genuine friendship. For many years they were the best of friends, each providing for the other a refuge from the storms of life and a confidante more reliable and wise and loyal than could be hired with all of Midas’ gold.

By the time Morgana entered womanhood, her fondness for Gwen had only swelled to become boundless as it was profound. In her eyes, Gwen was the most wonderful person in all the world; none could hope to be her equal in breathtaking beauty, charitable kindness, seemingly endless stores of patience, altogether praiseworthy meekness, a silent strength surpassing steel, or in nearly saintly levels of graciousness. Gwen was the unfailing light to Morgana’s rapidly encroaching darkness, the quickening sun to her deathly pale moon, the Aurora to her Luna. She neither trusted any more deeply as she did Gwen, nor did she desire the company of another so keenly. As a result, they were rarely parted until retiring for bed, and then only by necessity of station. So inextricably attached were they Gwen’s friends often jested that she must have accidentally stitched herself to her lady’s garments at the hip. The noblewomen were not nearly so kind. Some of the more prominent Ladies in the castle questioned the innocence of their arrangement, going so far as to exchange idle speculation which painted them as clandestine devotees of Sappho.

If Morgana could be bothered to care about the rumors, she would have confronted the useless busybodies long ago. But quite frankly, their opinions on her relationship with Gwen mattered for naught seeing as Arthur dismissed them as absurd upon reaching his ears and, beyond even that, Morgana would rather die than provide the snide gossipers ammunition that might serve as tacit confirmation that their unwelcome conjecture was not without merit – which was in fact the case.

All the same, though, she took great pains to prevent them from reaching the ears of the king. Uther already disapproved of their unusual bond and reminded her of such every time she treated Gwen with an ounce of basic human dignity while in his presence. Rather than censure the prejudice as she might have no long ago, Morgana now bore the chastisement with pride. Were it required, she would gladly wear forty stripes upon her skin if that be the price of Gwen’s love. The haughty bigotry of her guardian could never dissuade her from the path her heart had chosen to travel. Gwen was far too precious to ever surrender without a fight, to death if she must.

For what felt like ages, Morgana had believed her feelings would never be reciprocated. And that was perfectly acceptable to her, so long as Gwen remained an integral part of her life. The constant yearning that caused her chest to ache, sometimes almost painfully, was something she could endure so long as Gwen was happy.

That perspective radically transformed the night Gwen’s father died.

The midnight bells sounded in the citadel as Morgana slipped out into the upper town. Her intentions were pure at the time. She had only meant to visit her friend and offer what support she could, no matter the reckless impropriety of her visiting the her maidservant’s home so late at night. Instead, one glimpse of Gwen’s devastation over the pointless tragedy reignited her rage. All too quickly it boiled over, allowing those old, bitter feelings to spill out as impetuous threats of vengeance, and not only on Gwen’s behalf but for all those wronged by the merciless hand of Uther Pendragon. For what felt like hours she railed, heedless of the effect her malicious speech was having on the distraught girl she was supposed to be comforting.

It was only when Gwen – sweet Gwen, kind and thoughtful and selfless to a fault – had been pushed to her limits that Morgana’s perilous vitriol was interrupted.

Casting aside station, Gwen grasped her by the face and made her swear to never utter such dangerous words again.

“My brother has already abandoned me and now both my parents are dead,” Gwen had said, lips quivering and cheeks stained by tears. “I can’t lose you, too. I can’t. I won’t survive it.”

“Of course you would, Gwen. You’re the strongest person I know,” Morgana had replied, grasping reflexively at lean wrists, Gwen’s hands having migrated to the back of Morgana’s neck, thumbs cupped round the front of her ears. It was the first time she had been embraced so intimately, and if it weren’t for her anger she most certainly would have shivered with excitement at the surprisingly welcome contact.

“I’m not,” Gwen had half-sobbed, voice hoarse from hours surrendered to grief. “I’m only standing at all right now because the person I love most in all the world is here with me.”

Morgana hadn’t understood the nature of that declaration at first. Not until Gwen tucked her lip between her teeth, her nostrils flared with what could not be misinterpreted as anything but raw want, and her eyes went impossibly dark. A sharp gasp of realization was all Morgana could manage as a response, so stunned was she that her most secretive and treasured wish was being fulfilled.

But when Gwen nodded, chest heaving with emotion, despair and fear warring with adoration in her eyes, Morgana could no longer contain herself. Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle fused together, revealing the explanation as to why a simple smile from Gwen was able to chase away the storm clouds gathering above her head, or why Gwen’s chiming laughter kicked up butterflies in her stomach and a captivating warmth in her chest, or why even the most airy of touches from Gwen left a wake of goose-flesh in her skin. It wasn’t just love. It was destiny.

In retrospect, Morgana probably should have been as if not more terrified of crossing that final, socially forbidden line between mistress and servant, friend and lover, than she was of being magical. The thing of it was, the only relevant factors in that moment was Gwen willingly offering of herself more than she probably should and Morgana being selfish enough to accept.

They made love that night beneath Gwen’s threadbare sheets, and it was glorious, just as Morgana had imagined it would be.

All of their sorrows and anxieties and animosities drifted away like dandelion seeds upon a crisp summer breeze. Cliches regarding such unions suddenly made sense. Somewhere along the journey that began by laving the stiffened peak of a pert breast then languidly progressed into nestling her face into the delicate, aromatic flower situated between smooth bronze legs, she lost all sense of self. It was as if with each bruising kiss, playful nibble, and greedy draw with open mouth, she and Gwen were merging into one being. Gwen’s throaty noises and keening pleas reverberated through her every muscle fiber, down even into the very marrow of her bones. Gwen’s intoxicating flavor permeated her senses until it was all she could taste or smell. And Gwen’s gratification became hers as her hand slipped beneath her ridiculously extravagant undergarments to relieve the desperate pressure upon a mound so slick with arousal that the sound of her feverish rubbing was positively obscene.

Mere heartbeats after Gwen went taut with a silent scream, stars exploded behind Morgana’s eyes as the most exquisite mixture of pleasure and pain engulfed her mind and set her nether regions aflame. Spent and unable to control her trembling limbs, she collapsed across Gwen’s heaving chest. Strong arms immediately wrapped around underneath her arms to pull her in tight, and as she buried her nose in the damp curls at Gwen’s neck, all she could do was weep, utterly overcome by an unspeakable joy she understood without needing to ask was fully mutual. They fell asleep like that, Morgana stretched across Gwen, encased in an embrace that felt like a subconscious announcement of a claim upon her, heart and soul and body, something she not only welcomed but reveled in.

Wonderful thoughts about publicly belonging to Gwen lulled Morgana into a peaceful sleep that went markedly undisturbed.

In the pale light of morning she was still so drunken upon pure, heady, all consuming bliss to realize she would be missed if she did make an appearance in the castle. Had Gwen not pointed that out, she would have been more than glad to spend the entire day wrapped around her new lover, discovering every last spot that made Gwen’s toes curl ‘til the girl was too exhausted to move the tiniest muscle.

Alas, the constraints of reality marshaled both of them to action, and so once they had dressed, they sneaked carefully into the castle by auxiliary corridors during the changing of the guard. By only the slimmest of margins, they slipped into her chambers just as the fresh patrol rounded the corner in their direction. Once inside, the thrill of the close call and euphoria over their consummated love invigorated Morgana into a passion she could not ignore. Overcome by a need – more like an almost maddening hunger really – to touch, smell, and taste every delicious inch of the skin she had feasted upon last night, she unceremoniously dragged a breathless, ruddy cheeked Gwen straight over to her bed.

After that thorough christening, they lingered together in a tangle of limbs, both sated and happy. At least until the sound of Camelot’s awakening resounded through the chambers from the courtyard below and with it the first doubts crept in. Morgana could recall the subsequent conversation as though it had just happened.

***************

“I should see to my duties directly,” Gwen had said, immediately rustling to exit the bed upon hearing Arthur’s booming voice rattle down the hallway, clearly a response to the latest in an endless string of mistakes by his loyal yet tragically clumsy manservant.

Morgana hadn’t wanted to turn loose quite yet, so she tightened hold around Gwen’s waist, halting the undesired escape.

“They can wait,” she replied between leisurely kisses trailed up a shapely arm. “The laundry isn’t going anywhere, nor is the evening gown that needs mending. Stay with me a while longer.” She paused to nuzzle into Gwen’s shoulder. “Stay with me forever.”

Rather than struggle, Gwen melted the embrace. “You know that is all I wish for. I love you, Morgana. More than anything. But…”

“But what?”

“What if someone catches us?”

Morgana scoffed, having missed the long term nature of the question in addition to the concern pouring off of Gwen in waves she should not have missed. It was not her finest moment. She hadn’t meant to be insensitive, though. The idea had just seemed so preposterous at the time because she had thought Gwen was only speaking about the present.

“Who would be so bold as to enter my chambers without permission?” she had said. “Not even Uther at his most disrespectful would dare venture such a trespass. We are entirely safe here. No need to worry your pretty head.”

Gwen shifted in Morgana’s arms then so that they were face to face. “I do, though. Worry that is. And I have to ask: why aren’t you?”

“Why should I be? For that matter why should you be?” Morgana replied. And then she met Gwen’s eyes. Large, and impossibly dark, and unmistakably upset.

All of the sudden it was impossible for Morgana to ignore how frightened Gwen really was. In response, her stomach twisted almost painfully and her heart fell as the happy bubble she had been floating in abruptly burst.

What in all the world, she wondered in a moment of regrettable obliviousness, had Gwen afraid of them being caught? Her brow furrowed as deeply as it ever had as she mulled around potential causes.

Certainly they were going to have to be careful in the future to avoid exposure, she reckoned, but Gwen was as fully cognizant that there were more perilous secrets both were currently keeping. Morgana’s ability to pull the wool over Uther’s eyes was well established, and no one else besides the two of them had unfettered access to her chambers. Besides all that, Morgana knew every nook and cranny of the citadel and was able to slip out and into the upper town undetected at will, of which Gwen was also very well aware. So there had to be more to it. But what?

Only one other possibility occurred to her, and it was the one she least wanted to entertain. And yet...

“Unless you regret what has transpired between us?” she asked at length, unable to disguise her own fear, which manifested through a faint trembling in her voice. “No!” Shaking her head fervently, Gwen grasped Morgana’s face much as she did the night before. “Not even for a second. I’ve lost so much, and I have much to regret, but not this. This is the best thing to ever happen to me. I just…”

Again Gwen trailed off, her hands retreating to clasp together against her mouth. And although Morgana’s anxiety had quieted with Gwen’s reassurance, there was clearly something still bothering her.

“Just what?” Morgana prompted, then reached out to stroke Gwen’s hair. “I hate seeing you so twisted up. Tell me. Please.”

A single, contrite nibble of a kiss-stung lip later, Gwen averted her eyes and gave her answer, “Don’t you wonder, even just for a second in the back of your mind, if what we did was wrong?”

Morgana very nearly sighed in relief. This was a problem she could easily remedy, as it was a one she had wrestled with for years only for Merlin’s simple yet profound worldview to unexpectedly resolve.

During the incident where Gwen was accused of using sorcery to heal her father, he had stumbled upon Morgana beside herself after a visit to Gwen’s cell. In her anxiety and grief she had confessed to having feelings for her handmaiden that although unseemly nonetheless had taken hold of her. Where she had expected disgust, she was instead given only understanding and compassion. In that endearingly provincial way of his, Merlin ensured her that love – if true and pure and unselfish, which he insisted hers for Gwen surely was – could never be wrong.

Morgana had felt something turn loose inside her at Merlin’s easy acceptance, as if her heart had been tied into a knot being slowly and perpetually tightened. Breathing became a relief once again. And as she learned to accept herself the way Merlin did, she began to hope that perhaps one day in the future a door would open for her to act upon her feelings without destroying what she and Gwen already shared. She could not have anticipated Tom’s death being the impetus for her to do so. Yet as awful as his tragic death was, it birthed something so infinitely precious that Morgana would never cease being grateful. And if only for the memory of that kind, thoughtful, patient man, she would never stop fighting for the love she shared with her beloved Guinevere.

“Gwen,” she had said, unsuccessfully vying for her conflicted love’s attention. Twice more she called Gwen’s name, and after receiving no response pushed up slightly on her elbow. “Look at me, Guinevere.” When large, uncertain eyes, brimming with tears, met hers, she leaned over so that she could press her forehead against Gwen’s. “We have done nothing wrong. Do you hear me? If you trust me, if you love me as you assert to, believe me when I say this. Something so wonderful and beautiful and perfect could never be anything less than rightly divine.”

***************

That phrase that swiftly became Morgana’s favorite answer to Gwen’s occasional concerns. The world at large, and most definitely those housed within the vaunted halls of Camelot’s citadel, would most certainly view their relationship as wicked and immoral and perverse. If that was indeed the case, Morgana did not believe she ever wanted to be either innocent or righteous. Their love was wonderful, and beautiful, and perfectly divine; an immutable fact which Morgana was determined to never allow either of them to forget.

No doubt lurked within Gwen’s eyes this morning, however, only unadulterated affection. And that made Morgana exceedingly joyful indeed.

“I understand what you mean,” Morgana at last said after escaping that precious memory. She sighed contentedly and shuttered her eyelids as yet another reverent brush of fingers smoothed along the crest of her chin. And while the diligent attention felt incredible, she grew increasingly curious why Gwen’s focus appeared to have narrowly fixated on that one specific region of her face.

“What’s the matter?” Gwen said after a bit of easy silence.

“What makes you think something’s the matter?” Morgana replied, still basking in the glow of Gwen’s magical touch.

“You have that telltale crease between your brow which means something is bothering you.”

This time Morgana opened her eyes. “I’m not bothered, merely at a loss as to why you suddenly find my chin so hypnotizing.”

Gwen sucked at her lip momentarily as if weighing whether to answer before a crooked smile bloomed across her handsome features.

“Well, not just your chin, but if you must know it’s all these little hairs…” And then she stroked Morgana’s chin again, this time allowing her fingers to feather over said hairs all the way down her jawline.

“Are you saying my face is hairy, Gwen?” Morgana asked, frowning as a thread of hurt pulled taut.

As should be obvious, she didn’t appreciate it pointed out that her alabaster skin failed to conceal what otherwise would have been a nearly invisible coat of fine hairs that covered all humans male and female alike. Arthur teased her about it relentlessly when she was a blossoming teenager, and even now some of the noble ladies who envied her would snidely comment upon how it clearly indicated that she was a witch destined for a life of barren unhappiness.

Up til now, Gwen had made no mention of that peculiar feature and Morgana would be lying if she claimed she wasn’t wounded that it would be brought up only now that they were in an intimate situation.

“No!” Gwen’s eyes went wide as the full moon. “No, not at all! I mean...well, yes, it sort of is.” A huffed breath of remorse followed Morgana’s gasp of offense. “Not that it’s a bad thing! I swear I meant no insult. I have some too, after all. It’s just less visible because of my skin tone probably. And don’t worry! It’s nothing like Lady Johanna’s fledgling beard. Not even close. On the contrary, they’re so tiny and delicate and wispy and soft, and I really am utterly obsessed with them because they are part of you and you are perfect, so they are also perfect by extension, and I just can’t get over how adorable they are, and I am currently babbling like a lunatic with zero manners. I am so sorry, milady.”

At the end of that adorable ramble, Gwen’s shoulders hunched in as her cheeks darkened and she yet again sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Any insult Morgana felt evaporated as quickly as it formed. How could she be upset with such an enchanting creature?

Reaching across Gwen’s waist, she pulled her abashed lover down until they were flush, skin to skin from shoulders to hips.

“Oh, Gwen, there is nothing to be sorry for,” she said, legs instinctively parting as Gwen’s familiar weight settled against her. “My reaction is habit, I’m afraid, due to Arthur’s derisive mocking. It’s actually quite nice to hear a compliment for a change.”

“Are you sure you’re not cross with me? I’d understand if you were…”

No one with a functioning soul could be cross with those doe eyes staring at them, Morgana decided. She danced her fingers with lighthearted mirth across Gwen’s cheeks and over the ridge of her nose.

“Nonsense, sweetling. It’s no different than me admiring your freckles.”

Gwen’s features relaxed into a flattered smile. “You like my freckles?”

“Like them? I love them! How could I not? It’s like you said, they are a part of you, and you are perfect, therefore they are perfect by extension.”

In response, Gwen gave her an appreciative little smile before arresting her hand to place a kiss upon the inside of her wrist.

“So you won’t mind to be awakened like that again should I fail to curb my weird fascination?”

“Only if you won’t should I wake you by mapping the stars written across your cheeks,” Morgana said, then returned Gwen’s tactile affection with some of her own by again acting out her words with her own fingers. She was pleased when Gwen leaned in to the touch.

“I promise I won’t. I think I’d quite fancy that, actually.”

“Then I promise, too. And if you’re a good girl today, perhaps I will indulge your fancy tomorrow morning.”

“Well, then, I’d better get to work, hadn’t I?”

Eyes flashing with eager anticipation, Gwen threw the covers aside and made to get out of bed – a development Morgana was not prepared to authorize. Not only was she of a mind to lounge abed and cuddle away another hour or two, all of Camelot was blanketed in snow and she was loathe to be deprived of Gwen’s heavenly body...heat.

“Now, now,” Morgana tugged at Gwen, almost desperate with a need to curl right back into Gwen’s warmth and never move again while hoping she sounded at least somewhat the dignified noblewoman she was supposed to be. “Don’t be so hasty. Have you forgotten yourself and your duties to your lady? I haven’t yet had my good morning kiss.”

Gwen tumbled back into bed giggling merrily. “For shame! I have failed my lady most unforgivably. I shall rectify the trespass immediately.”

“See that you do, Guinevere, and promptly,” Morgana said, her eyes twinkling as her own merriment curved her lips into a smile. “As you know, your lady does not appreciate being made to wait.”

After a deliberately silly half-curtsy, Gwen draped herself across Morgana’s body, and once settled whispered her reply against Morgana’s already tingling lips.

“My lady’s wish is my command.”

The brief peck that followed was not enough for Morgana. Fingers winding into dark curls, she pulled Gwen into a much more passionate kiss, which lead to another, and another, until the embrace quickly evolved into tangling tongues and undulating hips. Soon enough, Gwen’s head was disappearing beneath the sheets and Morgana was having to recall how to breathe due to the magnificently excruciating pleasure coursing through her loins.

And that was how she came to be late for her first appointment of the morning, where she was relentlessly lectured about the importance of punctuality over manchet, eggs, sausage, and apples sprinkled with cinnamon. It was worth it, though. Her giddy grin throughout breakfast only made Arthur more bewildered and Uther more angry.

#bbc merlin #gwen #morgana #morgwen

14 notes · View notes