#which also ties into her fatal flaw being what it is because she’s had to rely entirely on herself from a young age

[twisted-tales-told]

Every time someone comments “isn’t Annabeth supposed to have blonde hair” the media literacy goddess claws out of the ground under your feet unhinges her jaw and chomps you right in half

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my lovely fandom :) I hope you are doing well. I can't believe we are at the first half of the finale it's unreal. For only having 10 episodes they've really made them count I will have to say. The writing has been so good this season. Killing me softly but so good. Can only imagine had we had a full season what they could've done. But tis not good to dwell on that ha Let us get started.

6x09 The Squeeze

Ugh poor Tim already breaking my heart 5 seconds into this. It's how he’s looking at the crime scene that gets me. Eric conveys so much with just a look. Always blown away by him. His look is saying so much as he looks on at the chaos. He is processing so much in this moment. Bless Grey showing up to break him out of it. Loving the hat btw Wade. Rocking it good sir. Tim letting him know immediately about his suspicions about Dr. London. Grey telling him to be careful with such accusations.

I love Grey protecting Tim with this friggin Detective Pearson putz. Coming in way too hot. No one I would rather have there to have his back though. Well other than Lucy. But Grey is the the right one to have there in this moment. Always protects his people. Hate this guy already. Wanting to crush Tim to advance his career. Just looks like such a weasel. *grumble.*

John was not ready the rant Lucy sent his way when he asked if she was ok. His face lmao Our girl has a lot of feelings ok? Lucy says she’s good. But you’re not my friend. That rant proving she is anything but ok. Sounds like she is trying to convince herself more than anything else. She is lost in life and where she really is emotionally right now. This scene is proof of that. I know people feel she is being isolated this year. I think the writers are doing this intentionally. I don't see it as bad writing which I've seen mentioned. I don't agree. Because it's very in character IMO. Feel like its setting something up as well. Also she is also the one isolating herself.

Even before Tim broke them up she was doing this. Look at her behavior the entire season. Especially after the exam. Handling everything on her own. Making rash decisions without input from anyone. Not even Tim. Hello Jeff Budney ...Just like Tim isn't open with anyone but Lucy she is the same way. Other than Tim she isn't very open with people about deep personal things. About what's affecting her. So this fits. She even shut Tim out of that situation in 6x04 in her decision making. Not since Jackson has anyone really made it in other than Tim. So this is pretty in character for her to isolate. People may feel it's more Tim but he's not the only one.

His is just showcased far more. Her's has been on display this entire season. Lucy and Tim are scarily alike in this way. She is a control freak and like Tim in the way she shuts people out. How she wants to handle it herself. I mean they have the same fatal flaw. It's why their communication became the problem it did. As much as Tim has growth to do so does our girl. That explosion of emotion just shows how very not ok Lucy is. I'm sure come summer or mid summer with the extended hiatus I might have a more fleshed out analysis of her. But she definitely isn't ok that much i can confidently say now.

I adore Angela calling Lucy to give her a heads up. Always looking out for both of them. Guardian Angel that woman. Friggin Nolan in the back asking what’s happening? She’s kinda busy John so hush. That concerned wifey voice is instantly present on the phone with Lopez. Her turning away from them both once it's about Tim.

This quickly became a personal phone call. Her reaction when she hears this. Oh my lord Closing her eyes. Taking in the severity of the situation. You know her immediate reaction was how he was. How was he feeling? Did he need her? The worry settling in and multiplying quickly.

The wifey vibe is continued when Tim calls John to be his union rep. Ugh killing me how worried she is for him. Concern seeping out of her in this moment. Despite everything that's her person and she still loves him so much. Her first instinct is to be there for him. My heart. Lucy asking Nolan how he sounded? Her tone bleeding worry.

Reason she asks is because Lucy can pull everything she needs to know from that alone. Knows him so well. Her innate need to be there for him. Regardless of all that has happened between them. Melissa killing it with the concern in her voice when asking how he sounded. *heart clutch* You can FEEL her worry.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan. I wanna hug him. Jumps up minute he gets there. Telling him they’re gonna hang this around his neck. That now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. Idk I would trust John alone for this. But Tim doesn’t have a lot of options right now.... I will say John proves me wrong later in this ep but my first thought was not 'Nolan should spearhead this.'

But look at Tim reaching out for help. Doing this so differently than how he handled Ray. I’m so proud of him. Taking a totally different approach on this one. Not isolating himself and reaching out for help through proper channels this time. Yeah Dr London sucks for being dirty but Tim has had some growth due to it. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. I really hope we continue his therapy journey in S7.

I hate this scene so very much. It was killing me to watch it unfold. She’s using his sessions against him and I wanna cry. It makes me sick tbh. And not even real info about his sessions either. It’s clear she doesn’t wanna be doing this though. Doesn't excuse her but you can see it's not something she is excited to be doing. Her conscience slowly eating at her. What do they have on her? I'm so curious.

This schmuck coming at Grey I wanna deck him. The look on Wade's face you can tell he does too. The amount of blatant aggression and disrespect making his blood boil. Telling Grey he favors his friendships over the city. Was making my Italian temper flare up so very much. Coming at Tim SO hard it was like he wanted to be found out. Bias little shit.

I love the minute Angela hears about Tim's admin leave she calls Wes. Angela saying he better give her a heads up if they're charging him. That she’s standing by Tim a 1,000 percent. Calling him family. Getting all misty over here. Angela loves him so much. He's very lucky to have someone so amazing in his corner. Love me some Angela Lopez. Loyal to a fault. Just like me fiercely protects and defends who she loves. Coming at her own husband to defend him. Adore this woman.

Can I just say I adore Lucy seeking him out. Not only that but making sure she has a private moment with him by pulling that stop button. Telling him she is still mad at him. That this doesn’t change anything. (and yet it changes everything IMO) Tim is so confused because the last thing he expected was this hug. Or her empathy at all. Hell when I saw the promo last week I wasn't either. It's the way he just MELTS into her like butter. His whole body relaxes. You can see the anxiety just drain out of him. Clinging to her like a life raft. Emotionally she is in this moment. Holding her as close as he physically can. He is so grateful for this moment to hold her again.

You can tell this is the first time in a long time he's felt whole. Felt peace of any kind just by being in her arms. This hug is so beautiful you guys. I'm tearing up just writing about it. The way she envelops him so completely. Such raw emotion in her voice asking if he’s ok? His answer makes me wanna cry. ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 when he said the same thing. He wasn’t ok till he heard her voice. The same thing remains the same here. He wasn't ok till he was holding her again. My damn heart. I love how she tightens her hold on him when he says this line.

Like she also can't get close enough to him either. They're just clinging to each other for dear life. This hug gave me so much hope. You can see how in love they both still are with one another. I mean my goodness the way she straightens his collar afterwards and touches his arm lovingly. Reminds me of the lint picking moment from 5x12. Still doing wifey things and can’t even help it. That wifey energy coming off her in waves. It's automatic when they part. Just seems so natural. After being apart physically since 6x06 .They easily fall right back into it. So damn nice to see. Feels like I'm breathing for the first time since 6x06 ended. I'm dying in the best way everyone.

Lucy then re-opens the elevator and they share some VERY loaded looks before she departs. I’m not crying you are.... God I love Tim and Angela’s friendship so much. She is willing do whatever for her bestie. She also is wanting so badly to be tagged in for this. To protect him in any way she can.

Tim seems confident in his play even if Angela doesn’t. Letting her know he's handling this one differently than Ray. Do love her saying different isn't her haha God he's lucky to have all these amazing women in his corner. I adore their friendship so very much. I need more of it in S7 writers I just do.

Really loving Lucy going UC for Harper and Lopez for this case. I think this is part of that setting something up I mentioned earlier. Lucy breaking my heart with the detective comment though. *sad sigh* But classic Lucy to have 8 covers ready to go. God I love her. The most Lucy Chen thing ever to have that many on deck. Not only that she's been growing them for months.

I love this human so very much it's insane. It's no wonder Tim is so damn gone for her. She is the cutest most prepared little nerd and I adore her for it. The look between Lopez and Harper is too damn funny. Tim would not be surprised by this info at all LOL Also her alter ego hitting close to home right now. 'A little lost in life....'

Really enjoyed this shot of Lucy and the nanny debriefing her before we head into the scene. This guy gives me the creeeeeeps. It's no wonder she didn't want to go back into that house. That dude looks like a sociopath. She can handle herself but good lord I hate her being near him. Dude has dead eyes too. The wife looks like she is a prisoner.... The whole scene made me uneasy and nervous for Lucy to be there.

Never thought I would say this....But I’m impressed with Nolan and how he’s handling this situation. That's right you actually read that. LOL You're not crazy. Or seeing things. He’s doing Tim some serious justice right now. Rattling all the cages of the potential dirty cops she’s seeing just by being here. Confronting her like this to see if it bears any fruit for them.

Having Smitty stakeout her office because he knows it'll make her uneasy and easy way to log who comes. Has Nell pulling data for him with police fails for last 6 months from dispatch. Also yay return of Nell. Love her. Honestly first episode in a long time I enjoyed his character. So well done John you pulled off quite the miracle here.

Love Grey in this scene. Hell in this episode really. Papa bear ready to devour anyone threatening his kids at it's finest. This scene was cathartic to watch after this putz had been stomping around. Acting like he owns the damn place. Smearing Tim's name all over the place in the process. Threatening Grey in his tirade. Wade's final straw is him coming after Nolan/Celina.

You can watch Pearson visibly shrink when Wade is done tearing him a new one. Doesn't say a damn word after he tells him to stay in his Iane. You tell 'em Wade. I was cheering him on this entire scene. Was a huge tell for Nolan and Celina as well. Nolan's tactic working very well. Outing him as dirty cop because of his outburst to them working Mad Dog's place plus confront Blair.

This scene makes me VERY nervous for Lucy. She did a really good job listening in till the damn toy. I mean she caught it before it hit floor. Unfortunately the friggin thing goes off with it's song. Giving away not only her position but her potentially her cover. Because he finds it on the ground and has a menacing look on his face. Dude gives me the actual creeps. Well done to the actor cause he makes me wicked uncomfortable.

I don’t like the idea of Lucy going back into that house. Like at all. Extra backup or not. I think her cover is blown and sending her back is like sending her into the Lion's den. She is very competent and can handle herself. That doesn't mean sending her back in isn't extremely high risk. Especially with Monica buzzing around now. We'll see how that shakes out next ep. Kinda hoping it produces some Feral Tim if it goes sideways while she's in there. A girl can dream right?

Prepare yourself. I was once again was very impressed with Nolan in this episode. He did a really good job leading Celina and doing what Tim asked. Was smart about his moves. Bringing Smitty and Nell into it and getting the info he needed. Shaking trees and getting fruit from it. Using everything around him properly even Smitty LOL She's got some balls on her asking for complete immunity and a new life. Also Idk Nolan can promise any of these things.....But it'll be interesting see how the second half of this unfolds.

Now Eric had mentioned in an interview post 6x06 about communication for them in the finale. So I'm excited to see what that'll mean. Will they have a real convo? Idk but i'm excited about it. All I want is them to be in a better spot before S7. I never expected things to magically come back together by seasons end. It shouldn't be that way. Also the season too short for that.

The SL deserved time to breathe and develop a bit. My hope is we will be on our way to reconciliation by end of finale. That hug was a damn good start to that goal. As usual thank you to ALL that like, comment or reblog these. Truly mean that every single one means so much to me. Excited to see how this season ends.

~~~

Side notes- Non Chenford

Harper and Lopez proving what a bad ass duo they were through out the ep. I need more of this in s7 writers. These two woman are dynamos and I need more of it.

Can’t say I didn’t Miss Tim the rest of the ep but damn was it good. I love when they do ensemble cast stuff flexing what a good cast we have as a whole.

Wes standing up to that heavy was impressive and pretty attractive. He’s grown a lot as a character was nice to see.

Loved the ladies nailing that crooked detective. Amazing. Grey getting to put HIM on admin leave. Suck it you schmuck.

[chiistarri]

i love you merging interests ,, anyway genshin pjo au

annabeth : pyro – passionate, dedicated their lives to something they like. her passion/interest/etc would be architecture, obviously. even tho she's a child of athena, it's not that her biggest trait is searching for any and all knowledge about whatever. it's that, even removing her godly heritage, she would still have a burning passion for architecture that she would 100% put into use regardless of whatever world or au she's in

percy : hydro – strong dedication/desire to help people (or their movement). percy's fatal flaw is literally loyalty. even removing the fact that he's the son of the sea god, the fact that he is overly loyal to those he adores is just really hydro of him. and yeah, other characters can be loyal asw, but it's the forefront of who he is, and defines him, just like his element

grover : dendro – wanting to know things/skills that are hard/forbidden/that they like. for years, he and his ancestors searched for pan. he and his uncle and other satyrs dedicated their lives to it, which was clearly a hard skill-esque thing to do. it's only fair that in teyvat that he'd get a similar story of finding the knowledge and completing what's been lost. even as a human, he'd find something nature-focused to dedicate his life around

jason : electro – seeing the world uniquely and are considered weird/in their own world. the whole camp half-blood vs. camp jupiter arc he had would make you think he would be cryo (stuck between two things) but really, even at either camps, it'd still be off for him. from his parentage to how he was raised and who he is as a person, it just makes sense for him to be considered hugely different from his peers. and if you want to keep in the raised by wolves things, think razor

piper : geo – hardworking in general, does anything to achieve their goal(s). she was a struggle to decide, honestly. but her goal in pjo was to just live a normal life. from having normal attention from her celebrity father to eventually seemingly abandoning the mytho world in toa in favor of living a much more normal, mortal life, she does anything she can to get there. she dates jason to have a normal, loving relationship in the middle of a time where nothing was close to her normal (the war) and leaves him and the others for the mortal side of her life, and achieves what she always wanted

leo : cryo – contridictory life, stuck between two worlds/the past and present. it's his mom's death. even well-past her dying, he's haunted by it, and constantly thinks he's the cause because of his powers. no matter what he does, it always somehow links back to his mother, in one way or another. his life is so interlinked with her death that he's just stuck on it, and has been ever since it happened, and will always be

frank : geo – hardworking in general, does anything to achieve their goal(s). he was hard, like piper. unlike her, i don't think he'd really have one gigantic goal. in pjo, he did, which was to survive, and he managed it, and got rid of his life being tied to a woodstick. i think he'd be hardworking to prove himself, also like in the books. he proved himself to be useful to the seven despite his whole life-stick thing, to the camp despite being in the worst cohort

hazel : cryo – contridictory life, stuck between two worlds/the past and present. it's kind of self explanatory? from the whole sammy-leo plot to her having been literally dead for a while (think qiqi too), it's the most fitting. you can maybe add the whole dead mom thing like leo, although it would weigh more on her of how her mom was the cause of her death due to her being manipulated by a higher-being rather than leo's whole haunted by the memory of his mother plot

nico : cryo – contridictory life, stuck between two worlds/the past and present. like hazel, he's from the past. like leo, the death his mom (and sister) weigh on him heavily. bianca's affected him for four straight years, with him being completely on his own when he ran and had to face her death. he even tried to bring her back. i think that's reason enough for cryo

reyna : anemo – desire for/chasing after a form of freedom. she, although not being forced into it, had been a foundational role for camp jupiter for a long while at a young age, and eventually took her chance with the hunters to find herself. her freedom is her ability to now discover who she wants to be without feeling like she needs to step up into a heavly burdening role

only vaguely describing the reasons based off their pjo stuff rn, plus only main characters BUT i have more, cred to @wherefore-art-thine and @starrykanon for doing this with me

[imogenkol]

— OCS AS HISTORICAL ROMANCE HERO ARCHETYPES

tagged by @corvosattano @jackiesarch @inafieldofdaisies to do this uquiz and I found it way too entertaining to do it for my she/her fuckbois (+ a token Boy boy) thank you lovelies 💕💕💕

tagging: @jillvalentinesday @marivenah @kyber-infinitygems @chuckhansen @adelaidedrubman @voidika @queennymeria @shegetsburned @risingsh0t @shellibisshe @indorilnerevarine @socially-awkward-skeleton @florbelles @aceghosts @simonxriley @v0idbuggy @unholymilf @roofgeese @shallow-gravy

GENTLEMAN IN THE STREETS, FREAK IN THE SHEETS

He's a GENTLEMAN. He has STANDARDS. He will not abide by a single WRINKLE in his trousers. But he willlllll fuck you from behind while fish-hooking your mouth and leaving bruises. That's just how he rolls. A coveted type, this gentleman puts on a stern facade and doesn't have a lot of patience for nonsense--but he's also solicitous, polite, and seemingly respectful. Until you give him a bit of lip in the garden. Never go with him to the garden. Or DEFINITELY go with him to the garden, if you want to get defiled. Which, let's be real, you absolutely do. This hero will wipe cum off your tits with the most expensive handkerchief known to man, fold it and place it in his pocket, and be like, "I apologize; I was quite overwhelmed by your charms. Gentleman recs: "The Duke Gets Even" by Joanna Shupe, "The Duke Who Knew Too Much" by Grace Callaway, "Waking Up with the Duke" by Lorraine Heath, "The Earl I Ruined" by Scarlett Peckham, "The Truth About Cads and Dukes" by Elisa Braden

THE SCOT

"Get on your (yer) hands and knees lass" is something you have a 60% chance of reading in a Scottish historical, and honestly? Bless. These heroes are from Scotland, which is in historical romances, "England but with an autumnal vibe" or "England but they do manual labor while also being rich and titled". They're usually (always) FUCKIN' GIGANTIC, a bit rougher around the edges, and more down to earth. Is this all stereotyping? Yes. Are they probably going to deliver a baby animal, go "look at its wee legs" and then fuck you in a stable? Yeah for sure. Scot recs: "When A Scot Ties the Knot" by Tessa Dare, "When A Girl Loves an Earl" by Elisa Braden ("put yer filthy Scot inside ye"), "The Taming a Highlander" by Elisa Braden, the entire Highland Guard series by Monica McCarty, "The Madness of Lord lan Mackenzie" by Jennifer Ashley, "When A Girl Loves an Earl" by Stacy Reid

THE TORTURED HERO

Look--he just doesn't wanna talk about it. The tortured hero has a dark past, which probably involves his childhood, may involve one or both of his parents dying (or a dead wife), and will be withheld from you for at least the first half of the book. He fucks like an absolute demon (usually to make you forget about the questions you asked regarding his scars; it's effective), he may have nightmares where he says what you think is his old lover's name so you steam about it for 20-50 pages and he's like "no, that's my childhood dog, which I had to eat when food became scarce", maybe his dad didn't love him, and he is more likely to be self made than some other heroes. Though he may also be a duke whose actions had consequences. There's a *distinct* possibility that he's mentally unwell, but everyone needs love. Your one big issue is that he... may not think he's worthy of touching you with his filthy hands. Somehow, you must overcome this. Tortured recs: "My Darling Duke" by Stacy Reid, "Dreaming of You" by Lisa Kleypas, "A Lady for a Duke" by Alexis Hall, "Pippa and the Prince of Secrets" by Grace Callaway, "Duke of Midnight" by Elizabeth Hoyt, "The Duke I Tempted" by Scarlett Peckham, "A Rogue by Any Other Name" by Sarah MacLean

THE GOOD GUY

Isn't that great for you? The good guy isn't a NICE guy. He doesn't expect sexual favors because he's nice to you; and he's so charming, he can probably get laid elsewhere. He may have a tragic backstory and a fatal flaw, but that's not going to get him down. He doesn't play at alpha male bullshit, and he may not be a duke, or a lord, or the owner of the world's first department store. But he's a Solid Guy. He will love, honor, and obey, and he will NOT! Do a nonsense. He will, however, eat pussy. He's a good guy. Good guy recs: "Unclaimed" by Courtney Milan, "Scandal in Spring" by Lisa Kleypas, "My Fake Rake" by Eva Leigh, "Unmasked by the Marquess" by Cat Sebastian

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XXX

Fatal Fate versus Divine Voluptousness

The Origin of a Better World, illustration for Ottavio Scarlatini's Homo symbolicus (1695) (please leaf through this book if you have the time and like me love allegorical emblems)

Patrick returns home, completely wrecked after the ceremonial degradation, and a walk home that however brief must have felt like a via crucis. His clothes mark him as a degraded man. I imagine the dirty looks, the insults and more from his former colleagues who now think him a murderer, seducer of women and a robber.

Deborah’s compassionate reaction to his state and humiliating clothes break him down. He returns psychologically to a conversation they had back in Ireland, when they were discussing which of the two was the doomed party and who was dragging the other to misfortune, a misfortune they could be spared of if they broke ties with the Doomed One? In the light of what has just happened, Patrick thinks it’s him. Poetry gives him wings and he expresses his despair like this:

“I am deadly, do you see! Let me roll from one abyss to another on my own; do not bind your life which without me would be beautiful, to mine, which shall be horrible till the end.”

(tr. @sainteverge )

these lines made me think of the opening verses of El desdichado. Here Patrick speaks to Deborah, but he also seems to speak to the reader, and perhaps incarnates more than just himself. We have seen many young men of Romantic French Literature looking deep into their souls and wondering if their problems (which are of a sociopolitical nature) are due to some tragic, constitutive fatal flaw that makes them not only incapable of happiness, but also harmful to those closest to them (like Lucien, a creature of a vastly different nature than Pat's, realizing how easily, how natural harming others comes to him. He is deadly and he doesn’t even intend to be so, it’s in his nature. Patrick is less about thoughtless bad choices and selfishness, but this seems like a common thread in Romanticism, there is something beyond the character's control, be it fate, or a poisonous nature, that not only hinders them, but more importantly, those they love. Why does this trope keep repeating itself in this in this context of great sociopolitical change and agitation, where things seem to escape the grasp of our reason and will.... seems like zeitgeist, more than a literary trend)

Deborah’s response is that she would always choose to bind her fate to his, no matter what. Is a life of comfort and worldly success worth anything without the One she loves above everyone else? Besides, she argues, it is her the one who has forsaken him, but she also doesn’t care about that, because being doomed together is a life so much more worth living than happiness in isolation from each other. She also argues that true love has to endure adversity, a love that only lasts while your partner is joyful isn’t real love either. She explains her role as a lover in rousseaunian/catholic terms, she has been put on earth to lighten the burden of her man's sorrow, he has to let her share his pain. The only condition Deborah would accept to let Patrick leave her, is if he believed she was the source of his unhappiness, or that in interfering with Fate she was making things worse. She even proposes he abandons her in times of joy, and returns to her when he is unhappy, her arms will always nurture him back to joy. Deborah is. Completely addicted to him, she would accept such a sorry role because anything is better than not seeing him again.

Patrickpassionately appologizes and responds: Stay if you want to immolate yourself. He admits he wants to drive her away from him because she is the only source of happiness, what is tying him to life, and he wants to die. And she is the only thing in the world his soul isn’t sick of. Patrick is trying to protect her from his depressive nature. (here the Dark Fate seems to take the form of untreated depression, Patrick is doomed because he is sick and has no idea how to deal with his sickness)  

Deborah then reveals she is pregnant. She can perhaps anticipate what Patrick’s reaction will be, because she doesn’t even address the fact that he just told her he sometimes want to die and drive her away from him because of this.

Patrick has a wild moodswing. Deborah's words bring him back to life in a way. He strips himself of his humiliating outfit, he tramples it, he showers Deborah with kisses. While doing so he gives a vital, perhaps kind of pagan sermon. He shouldn’t be surprised to be given such joy because god hasn’t actually denied him anything. And more startlingly for a catholic, listen to this beauty:

“God is the source of all voluptuousness”

He adds, like a true follower of Rousseau, “and the world is the source of all tribulations” Hell is other people, as later philosophers will say. Sensual pleasure and joy are nothing to feel guilty about since they are god given. the World, as a Cultural Entity, is what makes Evil possible. This Joy must be protected at all cost from Other Men. (aka Villepastour)

His vitality lasts enough for him to say he will know how to defend this god given source of joy. What follows is sadly less vital: they will hide their child, they will shield him from the world and mundane evil, that’s the only way to guarantee their child’s happiness.

Deborah agrees. I cannot judge them too harshly because in their situation it is very natural to feel that isolated, and in fact, after the horrors of the Home (actually Palace, not really a Home) as Prison, their venturing into the outside world has indeed been mostly negative. But this reaction seems thanatical. Is leaving France in secret no longer possible? Do they imagine all of Europe would be hostile to them? Is there no where to run, since monarchies are everywhere? (beacuse they don’t dream, like other Borelesian characters, of life outside of Europe) In a way, they yearn to recreate a Home Prison of Their Own for their child, even if they envison it as safe and joyful, it involves hiding and concealment and isolation,,, and not letting the child explore the world for his own. Again, the mindset seems like a comprehensible defense mechanism.

In a deeply touching and beautiful paragraph, Patrick confesses being a young father has been a lifelong dream of his. He plans a paradise life for just the three of them. Their youth will make them playmates of their child, the three of them will live in complete happiness together. Patrick wants none of that patriachal authority bestowed by old age, he wants to be a peer to his child, play together, enjoy life and nature the three of them, shielded from all social evils.

"(...)my constant desire was to have a son in my youth. Oh! what would I care to be a father later in life, to have sons who’d only know me dull and decrepit, who’d enter life when I’d descend into my tomb; who would miss me just when they need my solicitude; sons whom I’d never see grow into men, whose careers I wouldn’t be able to follow, whom I wouldn’t be able to support in the face of adversity. “I do not want a son who trembles at the sound of my austere voice, and who pities my white hair, and who keeps it shut in front of me. It is a friend that I want, a companion in life who loves and follows me in all places; who is young like me, and I fiery like him; who shares my games, my work, my illusions, my pain, my delights and even my debauches; finally who keeps no secrets from me in his heart, and I none in my heart from him. (...) He’ll be as beautiful as you, Deborah; he’ll be as beautiful as your soul! You’ll play together; he’ll be your doll; we’ll all three play together, without arguing ever. (...)"

(tr. by @sainteverge !!)

There's beauty, love, solidarity, camaradery, and of course a refusal of being a sombre source of grim authority for his son. The mention of his debauches is,,, interesting but I imagine he means he wants his son to trust him enough to share the stories of the adventures he will have, with him (so the isolation will not be complete after all) A son is not a doll, but, yeah, a beautiful paragraph, and an interesting example of Patrick, probably like a Wertherian Romantic rejecting Traditional Paternal Authority (another key theme in romantic Literature, the role of the father is constantly put into trial) and as is usual with him, traditional masculinity.

[ @counterwiddershins ]

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I’ve keep thinking about one of your tags, specifically the “self fulfilling prophecy a display of a true role of an ianitee” and I would love for you to go into that!

if I may, I’d like to give my understanding of that and you can tell me how far off base it is.

With Redbeard it’s him thinking something will always go wrong around him whether he causes it or not. He chalks it up to his “natural unluckiness” and puts little effort to fox said issues. If we go to Capsize’s death, she gets threatened and he stands and does little to stop it. He crashes the first airship and brushes it off, he actively heavily drinks during the mission, like he for some of it causes his own misfortune.

For Jordan, it’s being alone within his faith. (This one I’m a bit shakey on cause I don’t think I have a good footing when it comes to his character.) He wants community but he does not find it with the pirates. Specifically with Capsize. Back to Capsizes death, he also doesn’t jump in to stop Furia from killing Capsize. Both Andor and Capsize end up getting imprisoned in-front of the group, although the reason why is different (to my memory) he doesn’t jump in to save either. He does find community with Andor though! But he’s now separated from him, so once again he’s alone.

Idk what Spark or Capsizes problem is, wish I did though. They probably have tons.

OH ok im sorry Im so late in responding Im gonna be honest. I completely forgot initially what I was thinking about when I made that tag but its finally come back to me ok. ok.

Basically what I think I was referring to in the concept of a 'self fufilling propechy; filling the role of an ianitee" is the kind of idea that champions of Ianite, or gods in general are tied to their deity in not just a follower kind of way, but like in a metaphysical manner- like where the principle of whomever they end up following are somewhat built into their characterization, and in the way worked into the fibers of their soul. Its present with the other gods/followers but its really interesting with the ianitees I think.

It may not necessarily be intentional or conscious on the part of the follower but essentially their morals, actions and the foundations of relationships are centered around what aspects the god stands for, and sort of act like a compass for them. So like in Capsize's case, I had interpreted Cat's post as like even though Capsize was born the "luckier" of the twins- aside from her name being that of a literal disaster- a lot of her actions to me take on a very heavy kine selflessness, putting herself at risk for like Red, doing things that would put her in a place of misfortune almost as a protective maneuver for others which I could almost call to be her fatal flaw. She has to be balanced in nature somehow to counter feeling like she's stolen Red's luck (from Cat's post, that line is driving me nuts in the best way), and that's how she does it.

And like, what you were saying with Jordan, his seeking of balance comes in surface level playing mediator between Tom and Tucker but like in a subconscious way (at least how i interpret it haha) its more got to do with yeah, like community. Jordan, as a character to me is very tied to the idea of home/closeness/familiarity, which ties into the lighthouse metaphor I like to cite between him and Tom (essay for another day before I go on yet another tangent), and his evolving relationship with the others over the course of the series. He, by nature is really drawn to carving his own path (i mean the man fully invents his own ass god) and has like an ambition that tends to isolate him from others (I haven't forgotten jokes in other SMPs about his house always being so far away from everyone else) but what he really craves, in needing to adhere to some kind of balance is closeness, a safe familiar place to rest his head, a lack of separation that he always ends up wanting to fully lean towards, but because of this balance thing- he can't have all of one or the other.

Spark I think follows a similar pattern to Jordan, and as a result as do Andor and Martha (albeit in different ways I'll try to speak on but I don't spend much time with their characters aside from the fact that especially in Ruxomar where Ianitees are kind of othered (cough queer metaphor, this is not an original thought but it makes so much sense) that to counter this oppression of their beliefs they too seek out community which is why Andor and Jordan get on so well.

Because Spark grew up with something different and we don't get much canoncially of him, its a little harder to analyze him, but if I had to give it a guess, I think his is moreso like he falls between two worlds in being the s/o of a literal goddess, that he feels an obligation to act as a mediator (as Jordan is), but rather between his two brothers-in-law, but instead between that of the immortal and mortal worlds, where like Capsize carries with him a protective nature to make them feel more in alignment. Essentially, in someway or another, giving agency and power to the mortal world and making the immortal world feel less distant and understandable/attuned to those who they rule. But its less a burden he chooses to carry, like a i must take control to bring this balance, and more a internal kind of responsibility to maintain his connections between both worlds, to keep himself together.

And Red, gods Red m8, I haven't dug too deep into him but I really like your take on him! Someone who I think is a really good example of how his unluckiness, rather than being something that unconsciously he wants to correct to find an internalized balance, instead has found a certain apathy to the notion that he was supposed to be the unlucky side of the twins, that i could almost say mans like found a neutral ground that way; sitting on a middle ground of having neither fortunate nor an unfortunate influence on the way things happen because either way he feels he'll only worsen it which. idk about you but Ouch That Hurts. Like he wants to strive for finding balance in having some type of influence of fortune, but its so out of reach he chooses instead to take a role of inaction

GAHHH theres so much brainrot that can come from this. I will be thinking about this forever. i hope i didnt fully just do the horribly misinterprets the characters LMAO any way. thank you for this

It eez what it eez TLDR; Ianitees come into the realm with an almost pre-determined alignment long before they consciously are aware of the goddess, a kind of self-fulflling that drives a lot of their emotional-moral compass in seeking a balance within them that gives them a role and purpose in the fabric of their characterization and relationships with others

[thefinalwitness]

adding on to that giant post with my own canon, everything i discussed there sets up my own azem's storyline and that of the characters i built around her. i think venat, while knowing herself to be unique and wishing to find purpose and belonging in that, tried to meet the standards of her society, despite them being at odds with her inner self. i headcanon this was ESPECIALLY true both during and before her time as azem.

and this affected her children. she adopted artemis and apollo when they were quite young, and i think they both idolized her, both in the way little kids think the world of their parents AND because she was canonically a very well-loved azem. but because venat was trying to embody the society she lived in, her children ended up absorbing that as part of the idolization; thus, the flawed nature of etheirys sunk its teeth into them.

when the twins grew up and ultimately took venat's seat as (secret) co-azems, they'd long since internalized the state of their society as a good thing, despite their own inner conflicts they may have had. obviously—and i think venat did this too—they never perfectly conformed; all three of them were known thorns in the side of the convocation, but simultaneously, i interpret the seat of azem to intentionally BE very independent, similar to the seat of elidibus. i think of the seat of azem like i think of human resources in real life companies; the seat is, in theory, designed to be for the benefit of the people as a means of preventing the convocation from abusing them, but in practice it can instead be just skin-deep, more in service to the convocation than the people, despite its supposed purpose.

artemis—who is my own azem (apollo is my friend's, so i won't speak too much on his experience)—was somewhere in the middle. she very much WANTED to serve the people, and believed that was the purpose of her seat, but she simultaneously believed in the societal norms maintained, most of all, by the convocation. this dissonance would, over the years, wear away at her, until the final days broke her outright. she saw the flaws in the system for what they were, and thus refused to cooperate with the convocation any longer—but the problem was she'd built her entire sense of right and wrong around it, so by declaring it all to be wrong, she no longer knew what was right.

and this leads to her own downfall as a result of how the ancients' society was structured; she essentially lost faith in EVERYTHING but herself. when her own mother reached out for help creating hydaelyn, artemis refused, because all she could see was wrongness. she did have an admirable goal in mind, which was to save everyone that was left, but she didn't allow herself to trust anything BUT herself, leaving her with no means TO save everyone. her all-or-nothing thinking resulted in her effectively doing nothing—and, once she fails so utterly, she loses the will to try at all.

((which carries over into all of her shards. ardbert, esmerales, j'nhala—they all had the same fatal idea of all-or-nothing, and it resulted in devastating consequences for far more people than it otherwise might've. this is why i sometimes call l'aiha "artemis's good ending", because she breaks this cycle. despite being the most cowardly of all these characters, she looks at problems with the goal of saving anything or anyone at all. it's not easy; she's experienced a ton of loss that does haunt her, but she's also experienced a ton of little victories, and it allows her to carry on. she teaches ardbert and artemis how to do this too, to move past their grief and failure and try again. this all ties into the broadest stroke in my ffxiv lore, which is literally just love and friendship, because i sincerely from the bottom of my heart LOVE these kinds of stories.))

[quilleth]

edgy oc memememem for vanora!!

3, 10, 23

Ooh these are good! :3c

3) What is your OC’s fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Vanora is reckless, which isn’t exactly a surprise to either her or people who know her. But the extent to which she can be reckless and the effect it can have on other people might be a bit more of a surprise to her. She’s well aware she’s not invincible, but she has a rather lackadaisical attitude about the chance that she could get hurt by being so reckless, confident that she could handle it almost to the point of arrogance. She does try to make sure that other people won’t be hurt by what she does, but the fact that even if she’s the only one who might get physically hurt, seeing her be hurt could hurt or upset those she cares about isn’t really something she’s considered.

10) What’s an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

I initially thought of one that hurt my feelings, but has definite backstory spoilers, so I will try to remember to come back to that when/ if it comes up in game xD

In thinking though, since so much of her backstory is tied to Faolán, it could be interesting to explore a kind of role reversal au. Ending up somewhere unintended where she doesn’t fit in and things are unsettled and uncertain during formative years I think would mean she’d actually end up being a little less reckless or impulsive.

She is so confident and assured in part because until more recently in game, she’s been in the same place all her life. She knows her surroundings, she knows her place there, she’s happy and comfortable, and if something comes up that challenges that, she knows she has what’s needed to back up her place in the game so to speak, and isn’t afraid to face it head on.

Not having that solid foundation, like she would if she had been the one to unexpectedly end up in Faolán’s hometown instead of vice versa, would temper that some. She’d learn as a kid to put more thought into things before she does them, because the consequence would seem more severe for not doing them.

She’d still punch bullies in the face though xD I don’t think that aspect would change at all. She just might have the thought process “I could get in big trouble about this” instead of just indignant “How dare they?!” first xD

23) What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Vanora is not good with negative emotions like sadness or grief. She tends to have a very “I am looking away. I do not see” attitude towards them, which can backfire when she’s stressed or during particularly upsetting situations, resulting in her being more snappish, petulant, or rude. She doesn’t do well expressing it because she doesn’t like to admit she’s upset, so she doesn’t really know how to reach out when she needs to. She also doesn’t really want to seem weak or potentially even more unreliable than she might already due to her impulsivity, so she doesn’t like crying in front of other people. She will push it down and hide it as much and as long as she can.

She also doesn’t do well with boredom, which usually leads to her going and finding more potentially dangerous situations to get into, which ties in to her recklessness. ;)

[mysticdragon3md3]

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6:14 AM 4/26/2023

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I still like to read El's fatal flaw as her unrelenting Resolve. The same ideal that's advocated by so much Shonen Manga and anime in general, shows off it's negative, flip side in FE3H through her. As I've said before, she never doubts herself, but that also means she never checks herself. She is always moving forward, unquestioning her path. In my opinion, it's also why she neither seriously considers changing her overall strategy, nor questioning the costs/"ends justifying the means". She laments the costs of her path, but she never lets it change her---which I think is the big difference between Dimitri's past of "villainous deeds" vs her past/present of villainy. (She's the villain of 3 out of 4 routes, the character designers put horns on her head and dressed her all in red like a devil, and then named her house "black" like darkness even though her house color is clearly red. FE3H did a lot to hint she's the villain. But that doesn't mean she still can't be the hero of her own story, and I think the FE3H devs honestly wanted that too.) I think it's symbolic that at the end of Azure Moon, she tries to kill Dimitri with the dagger that he had given her once in their childhood, which she says encouraged her to move forward, and a second time as adults, while Dimitri told her to use it to cut her own path. At the end of Azure Moon, El is defeated and Dimitri offers her a truce. But she is so myopically focused on her predetermined path, that she brings out the dagger that symbolizes her moving forward with her plans, no matter who/what she has to cut through or at what costs. And she uses it to try to kill Dimitri, because she honestly thinks she can still win. She can't see any other path for herself, besides the one where she wins thru force and conquest. But as admirable as Determination and Resolve are, in and of themselves, she demonstrates their tragic aspects by not even considering the alternate path of cooperation and drastically changing her strategy.

It's kind of ironic that she is so tied to her predetermined path of solving all of Foldan's problems through conquest, even if that path was determined by herself. Because she has so many moments where she almost sighs forlornly up at the sky, like at Gronder, and simply moves forward saying "And so we fight on", as if she's so sad about fighting all her old classmates, but helpless to stop it---or worse, willing to push down and ignore those feelings of dissonance and compassion, in order to make their deaths acceptable costs. And that latter is supposed to be "strength"??? El demonstrates a lot of good questions that the writers probably want us to ask, but blindly following her like she "did nothing wrong" deprives people from those productive questions. As I understand it, she has many moments throughout her route, of feeling bad for what she "must" do. But for all her "strength" in following her Determination and Resolve, she seems more helpless against it and powerless because of it. The ironic thing being that it is within her own power at any time to stop the war, cooperate instead, and/or pinpoint her attacks onto specific problematic authority figures (whether Rhea, the Agarthans, or those Faerghus nobility she mentioned, I think in 3Hopes, who were too tied to the Church). But instead, she is helpless against a predetermined path of her own making…knowingly, because she thinks it gives her strength.

(Not to bring up Sengoku Basara 2009-2011 again, but… This is just like Toyotomi Hideyoshi, thinking he has to prove his Resolve to himself, and thus his commitment to becoming "stronger" or his Resolve in being "strong", by killing the person he loved the most. As if killing those you care about are proof to yourself that you can achieve Resolve and walk a path towards "strength". But is it really Strength when you're killing off your compassion towards others? Making calculations weighing some lives as worth the nebulous "better future world" you're still speculating to make?)

Anyway, another thing I thought interesting was how each of the 3 main lords seem to represent different paths by contrasting each other.

People often say they don't understand the point of the Golden Deer, as if Claude's route seems too unrelated to the personal drama between Dimitri and El. But I think Claude was a vital contrast to El. Not only was he someone who was shown in his Supports to question himself, when confronted with being wrong, immediately pivoted to fix his flaws, but also when confronted with his blind spots, he took them in earnestly and head on. He is not someone who only finds Strength in rigid Resolve, but also in flexibility and adaptability. He also constantly reminds us that there are better ways than war to get even the dirty jobs done. I find it so strange that we have one lord, El, who acts like war/conquest is the only solution, while we have a prominent lord character, frequently reminding us that poisoning, subterfuge, and manipulation ARE A THING. To paraphrase an old ninja saying, a general killed in his bed in his sleep, is just as dead, as if you had sent hundreds of your soldiers to die on the battlefield, trying to take the general down. It is continuously ironic to me that El worked with subterfuge practitioners like Hubert and the Agarthans, and yet she is too set in her ways to consider making full use of such tactics.

The 3 main lords tell 3 different types of stories, which are made more interesting in how they clash and contrast with each other. El is on the anti-hero path in her route and the villain path in 3 other routes. She is in a tragedy story, because she refuses to acknowledge or change her flaws; she does not change/Grow. Dimitri is on a more typical hero or anti-hero route. He has a fall and does a lot of terrible things for a long time, but we witness his journey through that, towards repentance and redemption. He CHANGES and is the one forever bringing up his commitment to change and repentance. Claude on the other hand is on more a paragon story. He has already done almost all his Growth before the main story even starts. By the time he reaches Fodlan, he has already settled into an ideal of turning his tragic experiences into fuel for constructive change in himself and compassion extended outward to others, while not letting his past bog him down into sadness or obsession. And his plans to extend his compassion outward, also takes into consideration, respecting others' differences and accepting the hard work it would take to persuade dissenters without always resorting to violent force. He is already mature enough to not be looking at only himself and his past trauma, unlike the other 2 main lords. Meanwhile, we experience with Dimitri, his obsession with his past trauma, his reconciliation with his past trauma, and his eventual mature state of mind, focusing his efforts more on others than on his revenge, just like Claude. Meanwhile, El uses it as motivation for all her actions, which could be said to be pretty much revenge against the Church, the Agarthans, her past, the systems of Adrestia, and the whole world. She does all this self-focused mindset and actions, while refusing to acknowledge how she's centering everything in her world around her trauma and in a non-constructive manner towards others, thus still actually making everything about herself and her trauma. Meanwhile, Claude has already looked past his trauma and focuses more on others, and Dimitri's entire story is about his process of working to look past his trauma, to focus on others instead. As someone mentioned once, the majority of Claude's Supports are him offering help to the Golden Deer and solving their problems. Similarly, Dimitri takes on the mantel of king as a responsibility to serve his people, taking it as even more important than whether it's a position he deserves or if his past crimes can ever be redeemed.

I once said of Sengoku Basara 2009-2011's Date Masamune that his infinite Strength came from his heart being externalized outward. He seemed invincible because the thing he cared about most, wasn't obsessing over his past trauma or his own selfish wants---which he demonstrated in episode 1 he was willing to forgo for the sake of others. The thing he cared about the most, were his soldiers, the normal people of Sendai, the normal people of his entire country, who just wanted to live peaceful lives. There are only 2 times in that series when he actually puts his hand to his eyepatch, as if his traumatic lost eye was actually painful to him: When he worried about endangering the lives of his soldiers. A warrior of Strength and maturity, extends their concerns outwards, not centered on themselves. A general, waging wars to prove their own "strength" to themselves, to become "stronger", to avenge their past traumas, all while ignoring how it effects the normal people, who shouldn't have to be soldiers, is not a good leader. Whether Toyotomi Hideyoshi or El.

But since El is all about "the ends justify the means", why not interpret this by her own terms. She's doing all this horror, in order to establish a system that will supposedly be more beneficial for all. And that's where I think the contrast with the other main lords becomes interesting again. Claude is repeatedly said, within the canon text, to have the same goals and interests as El. Yet they contrast in their methods to achieve those goals. In a war story like Fire Emblem, it would be very easy, and often is the case of such stories, to just assume war as the only option. It's how the plot happens for the expected genre. But it's very interesting that we have a 3rd lord like Claude, who comes in to remind us that not only can conflicts be resolved through negotiation, but he is often spoken of (and in 3Hopes, shown) to be actually doing the hard work of negotiation with other authority figures, until he can convince them to his side. The best part being that Claude is flexable enough that we can trust him to be open to compromise, rather than rigid stubbornness in his positions. We've seen him admit mistakes and blind spots in his Support conversations. He knows how to meet conflict with a laugh, then actual practical argument points (see his Support with Lorenz), as well as pivot to integrate what he can learn from those that he has had conflict with. Even with people he conflicts with, Claude is always smoothing things over and encouraging cooperation. (Not just in his Lorenz support, but also in his Fire Emblem Heroes conversations with El. He is always luring her in with agreement, but then sliding in a contradictory point to consider, with the least amount of intimidation, until he moves the conversation the way he wants it to go.) Claude demonstrates that El's methods are unnecessary and methods more true to Compassion can achieve the same goals.

(And anyway, as the video essay "Edelgard Will Always Lose" by BOOFIRE191 noted, she is essentially creating the same system and similar problems as Rhea. A pure meritocracy always sounds nice, until you realize it's ignoring needed equity, for twisted versions of equality, while pretending external misfortunes don't exist, as if everyone in misfortune deserves it for not "pulling themselves up by their bootstraps". Or as Dimitri said, "It is the path of the strong, so it can only benefit the strong.")

Anyway, that was too much rambling about my problems with El. I guess I had stuff to get off my chest for a long time. As someone mentioned, Claude's flaw was being too secretive and still having a little more Growth to go, towards being as open to forging bonds with other people, as would have ideally better facilitated cooperation. Maybe some people wouldn't have felt the need to start wars if they were earlier and better made to feel they could collaborate with and trust others. Who knows? And Dimitri's flaw was his obsession with his revenge. We know that; we saw his entire Growth through his story. But that's as even as I'm willing to get about the 3 lords' flaws. I still have more problems with the Emperor, than the other 2 lords.

[magentaink18]

Although there are a lot of unnecessary sub plots in the redux version of Apocalypse Now, the anti-war message is much stronger (kinda because there’s more instances of needless destruction and displays of America being shitty) but I guess it is also diluted with the goofy sub-plots so it balances out anyways.

Also Chef has unspoken rizz. Man managed to pull a playboy bunny despite completely ignoring her interesting infodump about birds. Well I guess he didn’t “pull” her per se, but they seemed to get along well, like she was being genuine or at least came across that way because if she was putting on any kinda act, we wouldn’t have had the bird monologue but idk man I guess you need to talk about your interests when you can when you’re working for an enterprise that is in place to oppress and dehumanise you. I love bird lady more than anything but Hugh Hefner can eat shit.

This film’s fatal flaw is its overindulgence but the self awareness does take the edge off ,, like the narrative, characterization and general composition is amazingly produced and entertaining while still clearly communicating a serious message. I think the main critique of glorification is often misinterpreted irony. Like many aspects are so hyperbolic (nonetheless accurate to the actual Vietnam War) that they’re meant to appear ridiculous and uncomfortable in order to convey the corruption of the US military

Also funny surfer man go brrrr

Song - Let’s Go Trippin’ (Dick Dale)

I literally never make edits of characters and then the one that my brain decided to make one that ignores the importance of the central message of the film it’s from .

I suppose there’s always the argument that the main cast of characters were drafted against their will and are just trying to get through it. Of course that doesn’t justify everything they do. I’d say the character who makes the least effort to participate is Chef bc he never fires a gun at anyone (apart from the tiger because the poor fella’s terrified). But what I’m saying is that the main characters aren’t into war or particularly patriotic and it doesn’t fully align with their beliefs much at all - they’re just tryna get through it - unlike , say , Kilgore. They are characterised in unique ways in which any pRiDe fOr tHeiR cOunTrY (used to justify corruption) they may have isn’t explicitly there or at the centre of the way they’re characterised.

Me when idiot surfer man who does nothing but fuck up at the expense of other people

Sorry guys my neuros are divergent I need to have a balance of fun and silliness with analysis and critical evaluation when watching this film for the 100th time

They also made Willard way sillier and goofier. I love to see the poor jaded and traumatised lad actually have a little bit of fun. A few giggles for a treat. Just a little bit of clownery to balance out the edginess.

Respectfully, there’s also a significant increase in boobs in the redux version, immediately making it better than the Final Cut /hj

Also also they gave Clean a proper burial and sendoff,,,

Sure, the Final Cut is better in terms of what constitutes a good film but the redux version fucks if you liked the Final Cut for its narrative and characters aside from its more filmic aspects. Not to say there aren’t some elements of cinematography that were left out the Final Cut that go hard as fuck. Like the transition from Roxanne behind the curtain to Willard back on the boat in the mist ,,,, mmmmmmmmmmm

It also ties up a few small minor loose ends and clarifies on a few details

Willard’s from Ohio? *insert Ohio joke here idk man I’m British*

Maybe I’m psychoanalysing Chief too much rn but out of all the characters, the way in which they’re presented, he’s the most likely to have started off as the most patriotic. However, his whole thing is following orders and ensuring order and professionalism is retained so maybe he could just be a fan of those things and not inherently having his motives be that he’s abiding to the rules because he loves his country, but abiding to the rules because he loves rules. Whatever patriotism he may or may not have had is destroyed over the course of the film and meets its definitive end with the death and burial (as seen in the redux version) of Clean. The scene where he folds up the tattered US flag that was previously on the boat and hands it to Willard. Or at least that’s my interpretation since he still made that whole announcement when handing it to him but it just felt as if he was reciting empty lines if anything but idk but he’s an interesting character either way. But damn that scene goes hard and it was good to see Clean get the sendoff he was entitled to instead of his body just disappearing without an explanation :’]

[gatheringbones]

["At the end of August in 1981, I found myself in a small town in Arkansas, where I knew no Lesbians other than my new lover, Lynn. I wanted it that way. We were living in hiding from my armed and vengeful ex-lover who had abused me for four years and had threatened both of us with deadly harm. This was five years before the publication of Kerry Lobel's ground-breaking book, Naming the Violence: Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering. I knew I had been battered, but I did not understand how deeply I had been injured.

I only knew that I seemed to have saved my life at the cost of my sanity. I jumped at loud and not-so-loud noises. A frown from a stranger could reduce me to tears. I was afraid to bathe if I was alone in the apartment. I relived every word of every fight in relentless flashbacks. I had blocked much of the unbearable pain of the previous four years out of my consciousness at the time, in order to cope with immediate danger. Now that I was "safe" it all came flooding back. To escape, I watched TV compulsively, avoiding anything violent—nature shows were my favorites—and I read science fiction. Having lost faith in women as well as men, I was a serious candidate for a species-change operation.

Luckily, at some point in that bleak winter, I read a magazine article on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in Vietnam Vets, and I recognized all my symptoms. I had a name for my suffering, and 1 knew I was not "crazy." I'd felt so much guilt and anger towards myself for not being okay, that is, my old self, since I was "free." Now I knew healing would take time and effort, and I gave myself permission to not be normal right away. Also, seeing how much my condition resembled that of war survivors helped break down some of my denial about the hell I'd been through.

Still, I had no guidance on how to recover from PTSD. I followed only the dimmest instincts. First, I began to read accounts by survivors of any serious trauma. These people became my invisible support group. I found myself drawn especially to stories of political prisoners and concentration camp survivors. Although my experience was not like theirs, these were the people I felt would understand how my will had been sapped and my strengths twisted, how the smallest acts of resistance and mere endurance had needed all my wits and courage. Bruno Bettleheim in his chapters called "Behavior in Extreme Situations" (The Informed Heart) finally answered the question I'd put to myself every 44 hour since my escape: "How could I have been so stupid?" He made me realize that under abuse, especially the combination of intermittent threats, unpredictable violence and constant psychological torture, everyone responds differently, but everyone changes fundamentally, and everyone has their breaking point.

One day as I sat reading at the kitchen table, I looked out the window at the small yard beside our duplex apartment, and I began to imagine growing a garden there in the spring. It seemed like a highly improbable idea: the area was very small, steep, bare of everything but gray shale and orange clay, and the house shaded it part of the day. But the notion of a garden took root strongly. For the first time in several years I had something pleasant to anticipate.

I wrangled my landlady's permission to put in a garden. Then I mailed off postcards for seed catalogs. I persuaded an acquaintance who owned a truck to bring me a load of cedar slabs discarded by a local sawmill, and I used these to construct two frames, about four feet by six feet, and two even smaller ones, just three feet by four feet. By this time Lynn and I had saved enough money to buy a very old VW bug, so we drove to a nearby creekbank and filled bushel baskets with rich bottom dirt, which we dumped into the frames to make raised beds about four inches deep.

To supplement the tiny growing space, Lynn scavenged large cans from the cafeteria of the hospital where she worked. I painted them a hopeful green, filled them with soil and placed them along the sidewalk below our porch. Old-timey "Corn-row Beans," originally bred to tolerate the shade of cornfields, grew up strings tied to the roof and bore prolifically.

I didn't have much money from my SSI income to spend on garden gadgets, so I made do. I wove a trellis for my peas from six-pack rings liberated from a liquor store trash bin. (I can testify that this plastic never biodegrades—the pea fence survives to this day.) I got some more bushel baskets from the local grocery, painted them with non-toxic preservative and lined them with garbage bags after snipping a few drainage holes in the bottom. Placed around a small stone patio above the garden, these became containers for large plants.

The garden rewarded me before the first mouthful of early spinach was harvested. It moved me out of the gloomy apartment and into the sunshine, watering can in hand. It motivated me to interact with people and to occasionally risk asking for help. I found out they would usually say yes. My attention was now focused on the future, not the bitter, unchangeable past. At night when the flashbacks threatened to roll, when I dreaded the dreams I might have, I put myself to sleep with 45 detailed plans of my next crop rotation. I found out I could learn a major new skill, a little at a time. I could do things right, even come up with ingenious solutions to seemingly impossible difficulties. And when I did things wrong, plants were most often forgiving. The plants themselves were a tremendous source of inspiration. Talk about survivors! They defied every book written about their needs, often thriving with too little sun, too little water, and too little soil. At the end of a year, I could easily stick my shovel in the dirt up to the hilt, where only four inches of top soil had previously existed; compost and the action of the roots had created friable loam out of shale and clay.

When I experienced failure with gardening, it was never the kind of disaster I'd grown to associate with mistakes. We didn't go hungry, because other crops outstripped our expectations. My lover didn't beat or berate me, but sympathized and helped. The garden was important to us economically, because we'd both lost almost everything we owned in our escape. Luckily, in southern Arkansas, it's possible to garden yearround. The garden gave me precious, desperately needed tastes of success. Disabled, unemployed, I still felt like an important contributor to the household. I even had food to give away sometimes, and that was a delicious feeling.

Gardening was not the only factor in my recovery, but it was an important one. I didn't grow up with abuse, but battering and similar traumas can expand minutes into hours, years into decades, until four years feel like most of a lifetime. At the end of a year and a half of gardening, I no longer felt as if I'd spent the majority of my life in a battering situation. Healing had acquired a new definition for me: I didn't insist on having the old me back; I'd mourned her long and well. I accepted the fact that some injuries are too severe to be made whole, that I might never be the same again. But I began to actually like and trust the me I am now, scars and all. As my garden taught me, I must make do with what I am. I have discovered that my flaws are not fatal and my successes are greater than I'd hoped for. So far I have not gone hungry, and I even have something to offer."]

Amy Edgington, Gaining Ground, from Garden Variety Dykes: Lesbian Traditions In Gardening, Herbooks, 1994

[mc-critical]

The seasonal posters of this show are truly worth talking about.

The S01 and S02 posters that we see at the end of their opening titles mirror each other.

In each poster Süleiman's looking forward with a blank yet telling expression, detached from everyone in his own inner world; his role as the padişah can't really be understood by anyone else. But here, in the S01 poster, it seems like he's in a stage where his family could reach him the most (Valide holding his hand, little Mustafa being right beside him). S01 Süleiman indeed looks up to his conscience the most and is most moved by his family's opinions (it's also S01 that marks a turning point: that's when he'll make decisions that would hurt his family). He dons a robe of red and black (with a hint of gold), the same outfit he had during his own enthronement in E01. The red in his robe provides a distinct "warmth" that's contrasted with the rest of the posters that have Süleiman in bleaker, "cooler" colors. The red shows him in his brightest, most determined. That's the sultan who is most driven to follow on the politics established by those before him and conquer even more far and wide territory. S01 Süleiman acts on making his dreams from Manisa come true and looks the least involved in business beside that. The black symbolizes how he's coming off of the heels of Selim I, his deceased father.

This symbolism seems to be shared with the black gown Ayşe Hafsa has here, which is also the same outfit she wore during her son's enthronement and her first scenes in E01. This is new ground for her, as well; the role she's been preparing for in years, is just beginning. However, she always holds the memory of what's left behind, of what Selim I has left behind. Her reaching out to Süleiman makes it clear that she's ready to advice him in the best way she can, so the cruelty of his father's reign never happens again. Her "interaction" with her son in this poster could also signify the ways of the tradition represented by Hafsa "flowing through" Süleiman. Because despite of it all, S01 SS still follows them more often than not; he's the least willing to cross them, especially regarding his harem. Meanwhile, Hafsa never gives them up. Ibrahim and Hatice are standing next to one another, a sign of the connection of their respective stories. Ibrahim is right on the opposite side of Hürrem, a sign of their growing enmity. Ibrahim also dons a shade of black and given he's another witnesser of Selim I's reign and knows of SS's experiences during it as his close friend, that may signify a new path for him, while remembering the past, too (S01 Ibrahim is arguably the most in touch with his past). The black in his robe could also foreshadow the beginning of his future elevation in the political arena, which would open his fatal flaw and build towards his end. I find Hatice in green an interesting choice that could perhaps show a hint of vitality in her at this stage. The hope of a better life was well within her, she wanted to go on that adventure with Ibrahim. The green gown goes in a nice conjunction with the black and gold coat: Hatice also recalls the past filled with death and strongly wants to move on from it with the less apparent black, and there is an acknowledgement of her royal position with the more dominating gold, present in the looks of the other members of the dynasty and family, as well (Valide's crown, SS's robe, it's a part of Mahidevran's dress, too). Little Mustafa has white, the color of innocence, in his turban.

S01 Mahidevran stands the closest to Süleiman and is right behind Mustafa's side: she is tied to both of them, but still prioritizes the love she has for Süleiman, this is what's dearest to her heart. The pink in her gown could represent a tender affectionate side of hers, along with her unpreparedness for the challenges Topkapi would offer her. What she's known before would forever change in a devastating way. Hürrem is waiting as the last one behind, having just been introduced to this new environment. The red in her gown underlines her fiery passion and temperament that are at their most daring and open during S01. It stands out as much as she does: she would leave a mark in the harem. She also shares this color with Süleiman and that could mean she would slowly but surely gain a place in his heart and solidify it. Both pink and red (Mahidevran and Hürrem's colors here) represent love, the love for Süleiman both ladies have in that moment. In spite of their rivalry, they're somewhat united through these colors.

There are no changes in the order in the S02 poster, except for Mahidevran and Hürrem who have switched places. While the colors of their gowns complemented each other previously, now they are at a direct opposition. Hürrem is the one standing next to Süleiman, having become a person he would highly cherish and rely on. Now she would only fight to keep her apparently earned place and render it even more significant than it already is. She once again shares colors with Süleiman: a darker shade of blue. Blue is a color that instills confidence and inspires loyalty and I think this would fit perfectly with Hürrem both in the series in general and in this specific portion of it. She's very devoted to Süleiman overall and gets more and more confident in her capabilities during the season, along with instilling confidence in others (i.e. Hatice). Mahidevran has the same outfit she wears quite a few times in S02 (as well as the show), the most notable being E63, the finale. There we have her both watching Mustafa leave for Manisa, the "prelude" of her beginning to focus on her son completely as she would join him later (with her own newfound confidence as his mother running as an undercurrent), and losing the position as a head of the harem, the point where she let out and let go of all her negative feelings when it came to her past experiences, the last we saw of her old role in Topkapi. She could be in red, because S02 is the last we see of the person in her who loves SS, but it could also signify her determination to get back to them for what she's lost that is quite prominent in S02B.

There's no little Mustafa in the poster anymore: it's just the royal family. Besides, Mustafa himself would grow throughout the season. The one who carries the white color is now Hatice. The white in Hatice underlines the most clearly her angelic air and qualities (what helps even more is her circlet headpiece, which almost resembles an angel's halo. okay, it resembling a halo is probably just me, but like..) in the place where this exact image is put through careful deconstruction. It makes for a neat contrast with a color that still suits Hatice after all. The brown detailing of her gown could be linked to her deep connection to her home and family life, as brown is also a color of hearth and home. The hint of gold in the members of the dynasty and family is replaced by a shade of silver instead (or at least I think the detailing in Hafsa, Hürrem and SS's looks is silver?), only Mahidevran retains her gold. The circumstances are different and we see other sides of the characters that could even oppose each other. Ibrahim and Hatice's colors are further from one another than they were in S01, perhaps because S02 explores the complexities of their relationship. The hint of black in Ibrahim's robe that's still left from S01 even contrasts a little with Hatice's white. Hafsa no longer holds the hand of Süleiman as he doesn't follow the advices she gives him that much anymore; she distances from him as he detaches himself from the ways of the tradition. She stands against his actions that disrupt the balance of the harem she wants to enforce even more this season. She and Hürrem are on the opposite sides of one another; their conflict is a main conflict of S02. Her gown is pink and I'm not that sure, but it could show that she retains her caring and nurturing side as a mother underneath regardless of the harsher actions she would take in the season. Pink is also a color of femininity and intuition.

As I said previously, Süleiman's robe is in a "cooler" color in the poster: his darker shade of blue could represent the power, knowledge, wisdom, stability and integrity that would befit the figure of the padişah. This is at least how he would like to view himself as, especially at this point, shown by his monologue after the Battle of Mohacs. Blue is also a color of introspective journeys, which could signify an even bigger understanding of Süleiman's inner world: while his red in the S01 poster would underline the determination of a padişah who's just started to rule, his ruling in S02 has already been solidified in some capacity - what's left is to build on it. So S02 begins to show us what's "beyond" the padişah. Süleiman himself gets more introspective, as his fear of becoming like his father is getting more and more likely to be realized. The hints are planted with this season.

The S03 and S04 posters have quite big changes each and they're interesting to analyze.

Some characters have their debuts, while many of the others' places are different. It looks like all these people have lined up around Süleman in a clock-like formation, the indication of passing time and the constant shifts that brings. Even the directions each of them look at have changed, their gazes are no longer forward. The poster further elucidates both the established and newly developed character dynamics: the supporting and opposing sides are illustrated most clearly. The start of the conflicts of the season and, on a bigger level, the inception of the battle of the throne are highlighted in this way. Everyone has taken a certain spot near Süleiman, they're not standing on an almost equal field behind his throne (excluding little Mustafa from the S01 poster, that is) like in the former two porters.

However, SS is still the only one who retains his position on his throne at the center. It seems like he's sitting there the most comfortably, having already gotten used to ruling, but also the most firmly, wanting to keep what he's got at all costs, because S03 is the point where he fully starts feeling threatened by his closest. The trend of Süleiman wearing bleaker, "cooler" colors with each poster affirms itself here: the robe he dons is dark green. Dark green can be associated with calmness, which once again solidifies him comfortably sitting on his throne, but it's also linked with selfishness, wealth and materialism, which solidifies his role as a sultan and how much SS fixates on it. The crown that's added to his look in the poster makes him stand out above the rest, more pointedly than ever before. The white in it sums up his view on the ruler's 'purity' and wholeness, his will is always 'pure', always "free of error" (as per Valide's words); he does what he does only for the good of the country, nothing else. He's a figure who has to always seem perfect and complete, always know what would be the indisputably right thing to do. As we see though, it's not quite the case as he gets into more and more dilemmas in terms of the decisions he has to make as a ruler (as evident with Ibrahim's death). The gold details in his outfit complement the presence of the crown: they help shine even more light on SS's position of authority.

Ibrahim wears a black robe with white details that could signify his nearing death, along with showcasing the different sides of him that are in conflict with one another (plus the clash between heaven and hell that's so prominent in his character). He's the one closest to looking forward, but his expression seems to be one of determined thought, perhaps about what future's lying ahead of him and how he would deal with it. The one who stands next to him is now Rüstem, pointing at their antagonistic relationship with one another. Rüstem decisively gazes toward Ibrahim, which cements even further his rivalry with him and what he already feels towards him. It could foreshadow that he would get the grand vezier position eventually, along with his placement where he's left waiting behind meaning that he would eventually win SS's favor and establish himself as a force in the castle (similarly to Hürrem in the S01 poster). The robe he wears is brown, a grounded and stable color that could underline Rüstem's more composed demeanor. Mustafa's gaze seems to be directed at Süleiman and the throne. Understandably so, since that's what every prince has to prepare for in their sanjack, precisely what Mustafa's mainly involved with in S03. It could also point at the focus their relationship would get throughout the season. The prince wears a blue robe, with blue symbolizing confidence, responsibility and reliability, along with loyalty: the former three are qualities Mustafa demonstrates in his ruling of Manisa, while the latter is what Mustafa always strives to show, but also what SS starts to increasingly doubt instead. Ibrahim and Mustafa are on the opposite sides of one another, which on one hand, is used uniquely here compared to the other posters, since both of them are close allies instead of opposing parties. On the other hand, we have them both next to Süleiman, which could be telling of the new way SS begins to look at his relationship with each of them - how his trust of each of them would sadly begin to crumble.

The other new character featured in the poster is Mihrimah who has taken a spot in front of Süleiman, perhaps signifying the soft place he has for her in his heart regardless. She's also sitting in front of Hürrem, which indicates their connection and how Mihrimah would gradually become a support of her mother throughout the season. Additionally, she's there at Mustafa's side, which points at their relation, too: how both are children of Süleiman and part of the dynasty. She is looking sideways, as if she's focused on a world of her own; she's truly trying to discover herself this season and hasn't quite joined the palace intrigues yet, still looking for a way to fulfill her dreams. She wears a beige gown, with the color beige symbolizing elegance, simplicity, comfort and dependability. Mihrimah has that elegance in her, hasn't yet realized the intricacies of the life in the harem and is dependent on the circumstances and measures she's pushed to take in order to protect her brothers. The dresses of both her and Hürrem have floral motives in them, which is interesting to think about. Hatice is no longer standing next to Ibrahim, even though she's still at his side: he remains an important part of her development, but they are at a conflict only time and healing could solve and the "reach" of her arc spreads further, as S03 is where she would have to stand up the most for her beliefs. She's sitting by Süleiman and is on the opposing side of Hürrem, underlining the way the focus of her story would be directed towards the relationships she has with both of them. She's sharply gazing at Hürrem, as it is precisely her Hatice is at odds with. But it also seems like her sharp gaze is directed at Süleiman just as much, underscoring how her perception of him would change (for the worse). To be fair, I'm not so sure of the main color of Hatice's gown here, since at least to me, it looks like it's brown on the poster, but when I did my checking, I saw it's red on the show. Maybe they made a brown variation of the gown specifically for the poster, maybe it's red just like in the show anyway, I don't know, but either way, both colors would fit S03 Hatice. Red could symbolize Hatice's passion and strong motivation, while brown could once again show the connection to hearth, home and family life that Hatice has in the season where it would be even more vital in the whole fallout of the infidelity, the loss of Ibrahim and even the arrival of Şah Sultan. The white part of her gown builds on Hatice's purity and angelic qualities that remain within her, while the gold emphasizes her prestigious status, perhaps highlighting even more her drive to protect the balance and order of the dynasty she represents.

Hürrem's whole look in this poster hammers home how she's changed throughout the show, as she adapts to her environment and the outfits she wears become more regal. The purple of her gown especially underlines this sense of regality and royalty in the season where she is finally at the higher, more certain place she's craved to be in: she's finally become the head of the harem, she can finally "rule the world". The white details could also give a sense of these new beginnings for her, along with a hint of lightness and empowerment. She's sitting next to Süleiman, the person she's always tied to in these posters and overall. She's behind Mihrimah and on the opposite side of Hatice, affirming once more her connection with the former and rivalry with the latter, both of which are newer dynamics for her. She's also gazing sharply yet challengingly at both Hatice and Süleiman. Mahidevran is the only sultana out of the four in an upright position that displays her poise and fortitude; she's way more in control of herself this season. She's standing tall, holding Mustafa's hand and leaning on him as he is her most precious treasure. S03 is the point when Mahidevran truly starts prioritizing his future, no ifs or buts. Her standing opposing that of the other sultanas (+ Süleiman) could also signify that she's farther from what's happening around them than she previously was: both she and Mustafa have left for the sanjacks, they are no longer direct witnesses of all the action in Topkapi and are instead involved in their own stories. Mahidevran is now behind Hürrem's side: they are still at opposition, a different kind of opposition, but this already isn't the main thing going on. Mahidevran wears a brown gown, a more down-to-earth color than the pinks and reds she had in the previous posters. That could be an even further indication of how she's calmer and more collected this season. The "prudence with materialism" and "sadness with strength" symbolism of (dark) brown would also fit Mahidevran perfectly here.

We see an expanded cast, as every important figure and faction are present. We yet again have a clear presentation of the relations and dynamics of these characters, but they stand on a more equal field, compared to the S03 poster, and they all once again look upwards, like the S01 and S02 posters. That collectively unifies them as a part of the main theme of the final season: everyone is fighting for one cause - for the sultanate, but the sultanate is only an earthly struggle. The poster is significantly more muted than what preceded it and the colors of the outfits most of the featured people wear are usually in darker shades, which is fitting for the tone and atmosphere of S04. There are quite a bit of notable black and gray undertones in the poster, setting up the death and sorrow in a point of the show that would be the fullest of them.

Interestingly enough, *Süleiman* is the one who most directly carries the underlying unifying theme: for once, he's also standing up just like the others. He doesn't seem that isolated and detached from what's surrounding him due to his role as the padişah anymore, instead there's more equal footing between him and the rest. There isn't much that makes him stand out in comparison to them through physical means, either: there's no throne for him to sit on, nor a crown. Just as both he and Mahidevran highlighted in the series finale, he's leaving this world without a crown or a throne. From his side, he may be a sultan, but he's also human, like everyone. He also has his own goals, preferences and inner paranoia-triggering fears he acts on, he is as capable of making grave and fatal errors. In fact, we could freely say that he's the one who has done that the most. From everyone else's side, the clearer picture of who Süleiman really is, is unveiled through his position and look on the poster. People start seeing him more and more for what he is, they no longer put him on a pedestal. The image of an immovable, impartial and just figure of authority completely breaks this season. There's this consistent lampshading that he's headed onto a bad path both by those around him and the show itself. SS isn't as passive as it might seem: he is also a part of the game of the sultanate, the most vital part. He is the decider of everyone's fates, he decides who would get the upper hand at the end of the day. And make no mistake, the poster doesn't forget that, in spite of its unifying nature. While a stronger highlight of his top position in the hierarchy isn't present much physically, it's still there in its full glory visually: both through the way he still remains in the center and the gold that's all over his robe this time around. He embraces this precise position the most in S04, getting harsher and crueler for its sake, for power's sake. The black in his outfit is even more telling: both of the death that would come from his hands and him fully following on his father's footsteps, becoming as ruthless as him. The connection between the black color and SS taking Selim I's path that was also there in the S01 poster comes full circle.

Hürrem wearing a red gown is also a callback to the S01 poster, except the red here is brighter (building on the trend from the S03 poster where Hürrem gets brighter, more vibrant colors), as opposed to S01's more pastel shade. That could be because she's become an established power in her fullest potential, her elevation can be no longer opposed. She has the passion, energy and courage she's always had (though one could say they've increased in the fourth season), but there could also be new symbolism embedded to the red in S04 Hürrem: one of anger and revenge, what she feels after the death of Mehmet and what has been motivating her actions here, especially in the first half. She's standing the closest to Süleiman's reach, as she's the one most loyal to him in his eyes. The gold details of her dress (along with the collar) both cement her as a total and complete part of the royal family and complement the gold on SS.

Bayezid's robe is a bit similar to Süleiman's, with the same black top and gold details all over, maybe due to his strive to earn the favor of his father he's never quite really had. He's standing behind Hürrem and a few steps in front of Cihangir, the people in his family he has bonded the most with. Cihangir's the one person who is a whole step aside from everyone else, signifying the unique position he's in as someone who can't really be involved in the battle of the throne. He dons a dark and olive green robe. The dark green top highlights Cihangir's calmness, but it's also indicative of freshness - the washing away of the past and the welcoming of a new start, something the prince would achieve in his death by reuniting with Mustafa after the unfairness of the system and the way his father let him down ended up being too heavy for him. The olive green rest of the robe showcases the peace and harmony Cihangir generally spreads, as olive green is a conventional color of peace and harmony, as well as perception. The dark blue in Ebusuud Efendi points at his knowledge and wisdom as a kadi efendi. The gray coat also shows his experience and a fair amount of conservatism, as the religious laws are his main priority and he looks up primarily to them. He's the only one in the poster who wears something that would highlight his position, perhaps because the ways he would advice Süleiman and the fetvas he would give, would play a key part in pushing the battle of the throne forward regardless (turning up to Ebusuud is always the last thing SS does before he fully goes through with a fateful execution). It's interesting that he shares a color with Selim and stands next to him and Nurbanu - that could be due to the fetvas of execution SS asks of him, which would (voluntarily or not) pave Nelim's way to victory in some capacity. Aside from wisdom, knowledge and integrity, dark blue is also a color of precision and maybe that's what the dark blue in Selim could symbolize. He would get more precise with his schemes after he decides that this is his only way to go. He would know just who to win over and how, which is shown the strongest by the end of the series. The few small gold details hammer home that he's close to Süleiman's favor. Nurbanu is right by his side, holding both of his hands: the major role she would play in Selim's journey is highlighted from the get-go. Both of them are the last ones standing on the left side of the poster, perhaps once again signifying that they're rather undervalued but growing forces. Nurbanu wears a pink gown, indicative of her playfulness, instinct and her ability to calm Selim when it's needed. It's also a fitting color, knowing how Nurbanu's yet to experience the ways of the harem and learn just how far she has to go for the battle of the throne.

Fatma is the other person in the poster wearing comparatively brighter colors, maybe to show how she's arrived with a sense of enthusiasm and hope for a fulfilling life, in spite of the serious task she's set out to do. The blue in her gown underlines her serenity, responsibility and earlier confidence of the success of her cause. The color of her outfit is opposite to Hürrem's, as well as she's standing on the opposite side of Hürrem, a sign of their conflict. She's on the right side of Süleiman, as she is close to him as his last sister and member of the dynasty who's appeared in the show, but she's also a step back from him, as she'll gain a different view of him after Mustafa's death - she'll detach from what he stands for. She's allied with Mustafa and Mahidevran, they are her most cherished connections. Mustafa is next to his mother and Mihrünnisa (his most treasured people), but at the same time, he's a center of a whole faction aiding him (along with Mahidevran and Mihrünnisa, we have Fatma, Taşlicali and Atmaca in a same-ish field where Mustafa is a step ahead): his support gets "complete" and more integral this season. He dons a green robe, highlighting his strong will and moral values that will dominate in S04, both as his strengths and flaws. Green could also be associated with immortality, which would be telling of the impact Mustafa and his death would leave on the people. He may be gone, but neither he, nor what was done to him, will be forgotten. There would always be someone out there who would remember how Mustafa had been like, as he himself professes in his final letter to his father. Mahidevran is next to her son and Fatma, her "team" in S04, but in addition to that... she's notably a step behind from them, the farthest she's been in placement out of all the posters. She is a part of a party, but isn't involved as much in the battle anymore, as she herself has resigned from intrigue this season. She's standing on the opposite side of Mihrünnisa, a person she would sorta be at odds with at first, but one she would warm up a lot to afterwards, to the point of becoming a cherished daughter-in-law by her side. The gown she wears is gold, which, on one hand, could be indicative of her caring nature, sophistication and inner strength she would affirm this season, along with the last hints of wealth and status that would be stripped away from her there. But on the other hand, the gold could connect her to Süleiman, in the sense of her getting in touch with his true nature the most out of everyone. It's somewhat of a contrast, with her embracing the prestige of gold in this poster, but standing boldly against everything it entails, everything the sultanate entails (unlike in S02B where she would "drown" in that prestige, overemphasizing the advantageous position she was in).

Mihrünnisa's standing next to Mustafa, the one she would fall in love with, and on the opposite side of Atmaca, the one she would have a temporary side conflict with. The red in her gown establishes her as passionate, brave, courageous, strong and energetic, along with highlighting her desire for partnership and commitment, while the white reveals a hint of goodness and simplicity, along with the new beginnings she would pursue (and hey, white is also a color of marriage!). Taşlicali is standing between Mihrünnisa and Atmaca, acting as the voice of reason in the dynamic of the three. He wears a brown robe, showing his composure, resilience and wish to provide safety and security for Mustafa, which he ultimately fails to do, highlighted by the black collar. Atmaca is next to Taşlicali, an ally of his, and on the opposite side of Rüstem, who he has a big resentment for and whose death he will play a major part in. Atmaca's also standing next to Mihrimah, whether to show that they're in some kind of opposition at first glance, or rather to foreshadow them teaming up in the future, whether planned or not. Additionally, Atmaca's later turnaround brings him closer to Mihrimah. He wears a black robe and black is a color of rebirth as much as it is of death. The motif of "rebirth" is quite significant for Atmaca's character, as he's had to go through deadly attacks from which he's always survived time and time again. This is the most notable when he's shot in E123 and then comes out "reborn" by permanently siding with Bayezid, as per Mustafa's request. The gold little buttons that are part of Atmaca's black outfit add to that, since Bayezid also dons a robe of gold and black.

Mihrimah is standing next to Rüstem, as they're seemingly more of a tandem both in the poster and the season, or at least when tougher times demand it. The blue in her gown shows the loyalty she has to her family and the confidence that grows in her regardless this season. The gold details in her outfit highlight her royal position, which she would utilize the most in order to secure her family's future in S04. She's standing on the opposite side of Selim, pointing at the way they would fully get in conflict later on. Rüstem is once again waiting as the last one behind from the right and dons the color combination of black and white (similarly to Ibrahim in the S03 poster). He's already become a grand vezier, but it seems like his position is not as secure, never has been; he still has to fight to get to the top.

[dylanlila]

Ok, more Panic! + Amy stuff, because I know a disappointing amount about this band, which I usually wouldn't wish on anyone but this is important:

In earlier 2007, the band were writing an album that would eventually be scrapped and they would go on to write Pretty. Odd instead. The album was called Cricket + Clover and Ryan Ross (the lead guitarist / main lyricist for this era) described it as a modern fairytale that took place in a "strange world" and "mixed reality" (can you see the connections yet).

As far as I know, it was supposed to tell the story of doomed lovers, one of whom falls in love at first sight, based around the concept of the 7 deadly sins (...Amy+11's fatal flaw is pride...). Ross said in a interview that it “would have been animated if it had been a movie." (Amy Pond Coraline Universe 👀) "It was set in a somewhat alternate world" (all those universes....) "and it did not contain human beings, more creatures of some sort. Maybe." (this bit should be obvious) "They were not based anywhere in particular, just somewhere. It was more of a fairytale.”

This also ties into She Had The World, because then-bassist, Jon Walker, said that She Had The World was the song that was the most reminiscent of Cricket and Clover on P.O.....an album about doomed lovers -> a song supposedly about a dreamer that falls for someone who is uninterested (or, if you read it like me, a song about a dreamer being misconstrued as falling for someone and responding to).....

Anyways, it was scrapped for a whole host of reasons and there's only 1 demo (the Nearly Witches demo, my dearly beloved, I fell from the heavens as a fetish blessed with an operatic skeleton, and as the stars watch me descend) and a picture of some lyrics left of it, but had it been released, it would've been THE Amy Pond album, 3yrs prior to her first on-screen appearance

(also I would maim someone to hear this album in full, genuinely makes me feel evil that it was never released)

Ok hear me out: what happened to Cricket + Clover is literally so Amy???? The fact that it was supposed to come out three years prior to her first appearance -> non-narrative, non-linear nature of Amy's entire arc and character that we talked about. A concept that existed at some point in time and space, but never got to see the light of day in a true sense, yet still managed to affect reality in an unexpected way (She Had The World, Nearly Witches demo, remaining lyrics) -> it's literally frozen timeline logic... (Amy: I can remember it, so it happened, so I did it.) IT'S AMY!!!!! POV: the crack in her wall took her parents AND this album from her.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

A Tiadrin theory

I woke up this morning with a sudden headcanon about Tiadrin, and as I poked at it, it filled out nicely, so I’m gonna go ahead and call it a theory at this point.

It gets angsty, as all good Moonshadow theories do. If your heart doesn’t weigh 6 tons by the time you reach the end of this post, I didn’t capture the feeling properly.

Several bits of detail flutter around this mysterious woman, and I’ve theorized various versions of her circumstances, her relationship with Runaan and Ethari, her former position before the Storm Spire, the reasons she went there, and the reasons Runaan was so hellbent on avenging her dishonor.

I don’t think any of them landed as well or tied together as neatly as this one, though. Hence “theory” instead of just “headcanon.” Here we go:

FIrstly, some meta information. This is a fun tweet, but in this post I’m looking directly at “belief systems as sources of both comfort and restraint” and at the “weight of guilt” and “cycles of trauma” lines, in regards to Moonshadow culture, and specifically Moonshadow assassin training.

And raise your hand if you’ve been looking further afield than the front-and-center Janaya-with-Soren nod from “ripped women who teach soft boys to stab,” because I have. TDP is full of parallels and imperfect mirrors.

So, in the spirit of soft yet angsty cycles and the ripped women who perpetuate them, Theory Part I: Tiadrin trained Runaan, because she was the leader of the assassins before he was.

She’s referred to as a mastermind. Assassin leaders need to be good with plans of all sizes. We’ve seen how Runaan silently adapts to chaos and doesn’t tell anyone what his new plans actually are. He’s a good leader. But he also had to learn those skills from someone. Whoever instructed him was a tactical genius, and also very Moonshadow, and Runaan was an adept student.

Also, Tiadrin is a goddamn badass. She’s several inches shorter than Lain, Runaan, Ethari, and Viren. But she is a powerhouse in battle. She knows her physics well enough to drag this 6′2″ human battle mage skidding across the floor. Monster thighs, monster intellect.

As a 5′4″ woman who trained in jujitsu for several years, let me just say: gender equality in battle is great, but physics does not care. It will crush your popsicle-stick ass if you try to chuck a 250 lb person across the room and your math is off. The most accurate fighters are the ones who know how hard physics hits back when you’re sloppy.

Tiadrin earned every inch of respect, and every inch of her thigh circumference, the old-fashioned way. She worked for it, all day every day. Runaan does the same thing. He might have half a foot of height on her, but he trains like the world will crush him if he’s not perfect. And that’s very Moonshadow assassin in its own right, because it will, and it tried. Tiadrin knew what she needed. And she knew what Runaan, soft boy that he is, needed. And she made sure she trained it into him, all day every day.

Tiadrin is one of the reasons that Runaan survived the fight in Harrow’s chamber. She made him the fighter he is, the person he is, and that was just enough to pull him through... so he could see his own mentor trapped in a coin. Yay, thanks Viren.

Theory Part II: Runaan’s squad was made up of all the elves Tiadrin has personally trained, or trained by proxy.

If Tiadrin was Runaan’s trainer and mentor, then her honor was his honor. And when she supposedly faltered and fled at the Storm Spire, that suddenly cast him, as an individual assassin and as the current assassin leader, in a terrible light. If his mentor was a coward, what did she teach him? Would he also duck and run when things got hopeless, and abandon his duty?

The doubt that must’ve swirled around him when the village learned the terrible news about Lain and Tiadrin must’ve sliced right through him. Thousand-yard stare, biggest internal Oh No ever. Runaan lives to serve his people, and to have them doubt him, after all he has done to train them and protect them from harm, would be the worst kind of pain. He had to make it right.

But not just him. Assassins seem to take solo missions even for their first kill, if Eljaal’s covered shoulders are any indication. You can Moonshadow your feels if you don’t have to watch your friend kill someone, if you don’t have anyone watching while you stab someone to death. You can pretend it’s all serene and just and smooth and valid and honorable. You can hold to your love of life and dance right past your embrace of death, if no one else sees it. But Runaan’s mission had 6 members. They were definitely going to have to watch each other murder people. Why?

Tiadrin’s honor was their honor. An extended family of brothers, sisters, cousins, fosterlings, anyone who was drawn to Tiadrin, or her to them, bonded together over their family feels and protective instincts. They were family. And then their leader fell, her honor crushed.

They had to make it right.

They all carried Tiadrin’s honor with their own, taught by her personally, regarded as honorable assassins. Until she seemed to have a fatal flaw in her character. Then everyone wondered if that flaw got passed down, too. The assassins had to prove that it hadn’t been, for the sake of their people, and for all of Xadia who trusted them to take out threats in the dark. They had to go set right Tiadrin’s “mistake” and take Harrow for Zym’s death. All of them. Every single one, no exceptions.

No exceptions. That’s why Rayla had to go, too. Tiadrin taught Runaan everything he knew about being an assassin, and when she moved to the Storm Spire, Runaan dutifully passed Rayla’s mother’s teachings to Rayla herself, feeling like part of the family, an essential connection between mother and daughter, between assassin mentor and mentee. He tried to get it just right, just perfect, so Rayla would feel like she’d been trained by her actual mom as much as possible. Not just because Tiadrin was Rayla’s mother, but because Runaan respects Tiadrin’s prowess so much. She was the best, and every bit of Runaan’s efforts to be his best reflects his respect for her.

You don’t get to be the assassin leader unless you’re the best there is. Runaan knows that from both sides. And just like Tiadrin did with him, he does his best to teach Rayla everything she needs to stay safe and alive, so she can do her duty too, and come home safe to her family every day.

And, in the end, part of that duty had to be avenging her mentor’s mentor, her own mother, by accompanying Runaan on his mission. Her lessons were from Tiadrin, one step removed. If there was a flaw in her training, no one would trust her when it was her turn to lead the assassins, and she’s not even done training yet! Rayla understood Moonshadow honor, assassin honor. She was driven to ask Runaan to take her with him, and he could see exactly where she was coming from. Their honor was tangled up with Tiadrin’s. They couldn’t back out. They had to go to Katolis, them and everyone else Tiadrin had trained.

That’s why the binding ribbons came out. They were in a do-or-die situation, in the most literal sense.

They could not go home in failure. If they all failed, it would take out a whole line of assassin training, possibly the same one that had lasted for countless generations (okay maybe we can count them and there are like 30) and crush the Moonshadows’ spirits. And they’d literally rather die than see that happen. They were all ready to give their lives to restore Tiadrin’s honor, and their own, because without her legacy, there would be such a crater in the assassin corps that it might never recover.

Yes, this is basically my angsty “Runaan’s found family went into battle together and most of them died” headcanon again, but this time with a solid theory behind it. I’m not sorry. I love this angsty idea, it’s horrible. Do you see the cycle of trauma? I’ve got one more part to add, which may make it clearer.

Theory Part III: Assassin leaders always go serve at the Storm Spire once they successfully train their own replacement.

In this theory’s version of Why Laindrin Went To The Storm Spire, Tiadrin was always going to end up at the Storm Spire, once she became the assassin leader. That’s where the veteran assassin leader goes, see, to liaison between the dragon throne and the current Moonshadow leader. They know the assassins’ skills far better than any Skywings or dragons do, and they know the leader in charge of them, so they can give guidance or direction as needed, or simply phrase the Dragon King or Queen’s request in such language that the assassin leader knows intuitively what really needs to be done.

Yeah, Tiadrin writing Runaan mission directives. I can see it.

Tiadrin’s mentor would’ve left for the Spire when Tiadrin got promoted to leader. The person she trusted most in the world, who had trained her, left her behind, only to communicate by long distance. Moonshadow deniability, amirite--we’re not stabbing people, we’re sending tactical correspondence, yep that’s it. But Tiadrin was still surrounded by Runaan and the other young assassins, and she bonded with them all, and life was bright.

Then, the shadow came once again. Runaan was an excellent student, and she knew he was ready. Maybe she delayed, and delayed, Moonshadowing her reasons. Maybe she wanted the chance to bring life into the world, to try to balance out some of the death she had dealt. Maybe she wanted a few more years of domestic life in the Silvergrove with all her favorite elves, to bolster her heart for the years to come. Maybe her mentor at the Spire was up to shenaniganry in dragon politics and she wanted to buy them more time to lay those plans in place.

Knowing Tiadrin even the slightest bit, I will assume it was all this and more. But eventually, she couldn’t put things off any longer. She had to go fulfill her duty to the dragon throne and join the Dragonguard as the representative of the Moonshadow assassins who had bound themselves to the protection of Xadia long ago. She had to walk away from her bright life, her family, her friends, her allies, and climb up into that misty stone tower, to spend who knows how long away from everything she knew and loved.

And she did. She chose to walk away, for love of Xadia. She took her beloved husband with her, but she left the Silvergrove, Xadia’s protection, and her own daughter’s upbringing in the hands of the elf she chose to replace her. The soft boy she’d taught to stab, who would teach her baby girl to stab, too.

Because this is The Way.

I know I’ve had an angsty headcanon that assassins don’t retire. But, consider this: maybe one of them can. One of Tiadrin’s many plans could have been counting on Runaan’s extreme prowess and devotion to Rayla. If Tiadrin knew that she could return to the Silvergrove in peace and retire there with Lain once Runaan trained Rayla to take his place as the assassin leader, then she could live in the Silvergrove again for the rest of her life, and also get to see Rayla grown big and strong and become the assassin leader herself, another proud elf in a long line of honor and tradition. She might feel that was a big accomplishment, considering the dangers they all face. And it would be.

Yes, this would hinge on the fact that Runaan would have to leave the Silvergrove to replace Tiadrin at the Storm Spire, to serve as Rayla’s liaison to the dragon throne. Cycles of trauma, remember? Tiadrin can’t have all of her family back in one place, ever again. She has to love and train someone enough to put them through the life that she’s having to live, and she has to be strong enough not to let that break her. And then, she has to choose between them. She chose Runaan first, so that she could hope to choose Rayla later. She trusted him with all the future happiness of her heart. And he did his best with it.

But they didn’t quite make it, in the end, because of Viren.

I know this has been a lot of angst. I know. But there is a moonlit lining to this theory, and I think we all need to consider it. If there is a cycle of taking the assassin leader out of the Silvergrove to serve the dragon throne for ancient promise reasons, then if that ancient promise is ever rescinded or redressed in an effective way, the family won’t need to keep yeeting loved ones out of its orbit. And if assassins cease to be a necessary evil as a result, then no one will have to leave, or stab, again. At least, not for the same angsty reasons. They could stay together and never need to leave again.

It won’t be easy to break such a cycle. It might be impossible. But if anyone can manage it, it’ll be Tiadrin, and her family.

extra headcanon for this theory:

Tiadrin, packing up for the Storm Spire: One last thing, Runaan.

Runaan, stoically attentive because what are feels on the day your mentor leaves you: Yes, Tiadrin?

Tiadrin: Ethari will need to pick an apprentice to replace him, too. He should start looking now.

Runaan: Why? Only the Silvergrove’s Master Craftsman gets to pick an apprentice, and Ethari isn’t--

Tiadrin: *wink” Not yet, he’s not.

Runaan: Tiadrin, please, what have you done?

Tiadrin: I want to come back here someday, Runaan. I want to see your good work with Rayla. And I can’t do that if you flat-out refuse to leave your husband when Avizandum calls for you to replace me. So he needs to be ready to leave, too.

Runaan: I, I, I would nev-- I couldn’t--

Tiadrin: *patting his shoulder briskly as she strides out* Mmhmm, sure thing, kid. The council votes him in next Thursday. Be good while I’m gone! I want to find this place exactly the way I’m leaving it. Lain, honey, get your coat!

Lain, in the next room: Yes, Tiadrin!

Runaan, soft-eyed, to the silence in her wake: Yes, Tiadrin.

[magicaththedemigod]

an extensive analysis of “the song of achilles” by madeline miller

Or: things I noticed and couldn't keep to myself.

Because I just finished reading it and have many feelings about it, I've decided to compile all of them into a very lengthy Tumblr post.

This will be broken up into three parts:

1. Foreshadowing

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

3. Fatal Flaws

1. Foreshadowing

Miller does such a delightful job with foreshadowing. The number of quotes I could be spitting at you right now... but I digress. The main job of foreshadowing, especially in a tragedy like "The Song of Achilles," is to set the characters up for their tragedy.

What I like most about how Miller goes about it in this book is that she doesn't attempt to pull a shocking twist out of nowhere; instead, she takes an approach which allows the reader to fully marinate in their despair.

For example, this quote:

Achilles shook his head, impatiently. "But this was a greater punishment for her. It was not fair of them." "There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles," Chiron said. "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?"

Let's take a moment and unpack some of this. For context, this is a conversation between Patroclus, Achilles, and their mentor Chiron. They're discussing the tale of Heracles, who's driven to madness and ends up killing his own wife and kids.

From reading the book, (SPOILER ALERT) you know that Achilles' own pride and honor end up forcing Patroclus to impersonate him in order to save the Greek army, and in doing so is killed by Hector. The fact that Chiron directs this question, "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?" to Achilles, who is left behind after Patroclus' death is such delightful foreshadowing that I almost threw the book across the room when I first read it.

Achilles slumps into such a depression after Patroclus dies (really, after he kills Patroclus with his own fatal flaw), that he even loses the ability to care about his fame or honor anymore. He feels the greater grief, so to speak.

Even after he dies, Patroclus is left behind, unable to rest properly because they never put his name on the tomb. In that sense, Patroclus is then the one left behind, experiencing loneliness and grief.

The book is full of little hints like this, and that's part of why it's almost torture to read as someone who knows how the Iliad goes. As I said before: the foreshadowing in this book is meant to have the reader in pain from the beginning because you know nothing is going to work out in the end.

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

Yes, that's right. I'm about to rip into your soul.

Probably one of the biggest parts of classical Greek myths is dramatic irony (the audience knowing something the characters don't). In plays, the ending is almost always announced before the play begins. In fact, the audience most likely already knows the story from previous tellings or just general knowledge. It makes sense that it would be one of the biggest players in "The Song of Achilles."

As usual, let's start with a quote:

His eyes opened. "Name one hero who was happy." I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. "I swear it," he echoed. We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

First of all: cute. Second of all: wow, so much pain.

As you know, Achilles is the opposite of happy at the end of the book (well, maybe after they die, but we'll get to that later). Though he swears it here with Patroclus, the two of them make decisions that ultimately lead to their downfall: Achilles decides to abandon the Greeks after they slighted his honor, Patroclus decides to help them even if it means risking his life, and Achilles lets him do it.

So let's talk about dramatic irony. The irony here is that you know, maybe just from this exchange alone, that Achilles isn't going to be the first happy hero. You know there is a war coming, know that Achilles and his famous heel will get himself killed. You might also know at this point that Patroclus will die first and send Achilles spiraling into grief before that happens.

It's painful, truly. Achilles spends his last days in utter agony, wanting to die but unable to kill himself, and Patroclus can only watch on as a ghost (spirit?). Even when Achilles does die and his ashes are put into their urn (seriously, how did any scholar ever think they weren't lovers?), they still have to wait to be reunited.

But there's still more. Consider these lines:

Hector's eyes are wide, but he will run no longer. He says, "Grant me this. Give my body to my family, when you have killed me." Achilles makes a sound like choking. "There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

Sound familiar? That's right: "I will kill you and eat you raw" sounds an awful lot like "I feel like I could eat the world raw," doesn't it? Another parallel from Miller: one from a time of happiness, the other from a time of extreme grief. However painful it is, I really live for connections like that.

And I've got one more for you:

Achilles shook his head. "Never. He is brave and strong, but that is all. He would break against Hector like water on a rock. So. It is me, or no one." "You will not do it." I tried not to let it sound like begging. "No." He was quiet a moment. "But I can see it. That's the strange thing. Like in a dream. I can see myself throwing the spear, see him fall. I walk up to the body and stand over it." Dread rose in my chest. I took a breath, forced it away. "And then what?" "That's the strangest of all. I look down at his blood and know my death is coming. But in the dream I do not mind. What I feel, most of all, is relief." "Do you think it can be prophecy?" The questions seemed to make him self-conscious. He shook his head. "No. I think it is nothing at all. A daydream." I forced my voice to match his in lightness. "I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

See where I'm going with this? I don't think I need to explain this one.

3. Fatal Flaws

That's right, one of the most essential pieces for a tragedy: hamartia. For those who might not know, hamartia is the fatal flaw that ultimately leads to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine. In every single piece of classical greek writing, if the story is a tragedy, the main character will have a fatal flaw that makes it so.

Take Achilles:

I looked at the stone of his face, and despaired. “If you love me-”

“No!” His face was stiff with tension. “I cannot! If I yield, Agamemnon can dishonor me whenever he wishes. The kings will not respect me, nor the men!” He was breathless, as though he had run far. “Do you think I wish them all to die? But I cannot. I cannot! I will not let them take this from me!”

You probably already know what his fatal flaw is: pride. He needs the fame, needs the glorious memory of his deeds to live on forever, so badly that he is willing to sacrifice his life and what might’ve been a fulfilling and long life with Patroclus out of the limelight. His fatal flaw is what spurs each of his actions in the later half of the book, including the moment where he decides to leave the Greeks to their deaths for slandering him.

Even Patroclus has a fatal flaw: his love for Achilles.

That night I lay in bed beside Achilles. His face is innocent, sleep-smoothed and sweetly boyish. I love to see it. This is his truest self, earnest and guileless, full of mischief but without malice. He is lost in Agamemnon and Odysseus’ wily double meanings, their lies and games of power. They have confounded him, tied him to a stake and baited him. I stroke the soft skin of his forehead. I would untie him if I could. If he would let me.

Though riding into the center of the fighting, especially dressed as Achilles, will make Patroclus the prime target, he decides to do it anyway. And not out of fear for Achilles’s life; he knows how important his pride and reputation is to him, and out of desperation will do anything to keep Achilles from being devastated when it doesn’t work out for him.

(Honestly, this is the part where I start to hate Achilles for doing this to Patroclus... it’s like he doesn’t even consider Patroclus his equal and does everything without consulting him.)

Of course, Agamemnon has a fatal flaw as well. He is like the mirror image of Achilles, so proud and stubborn, righteous and arrogant. However, he is the darker image, the one that revels in taking things by force and, of course, raping women like Briseis. He serves as a poignant foil for Achilles, highlighting all the ways the traits they share can easily become corrupted. It’s part of why this novel works so well.

I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did. Truthfully, I did have a few problems with it, but I wanted to trying picking it apart anyway. And if you haven’t read the song of achilles... what are you doing reading these spoilers?? 

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

I'm the Percy and Jason Are Opposites/Equals anon. Thx for the reply, and after reading it I agree with you with a lot of stuff. I do like Jason - but I wish he was expanded upon more, you know? Given more canon depth as we were with Percy. His trauma as a CHILD SOLIDER for one!. And his abandonment issues could've been tied to his Fatal Flaw - never choosing what he wanted because what if he chooses himself and it's wrong and he's abandoned again, alone in a scary place.

hey anon! sorry it took me a hot min to get to this I just wanted to finish up the drabble series before responding to asks and comments again

you and me both on the Jason expansion front. there's just too much happening in the hoo books. I think it would have been slightly better if Rick had made each book form one pov at least. that way, although we still have the problem of 5 strange new characters, we may have gotten a better insight into them if they each had their own book you know?

like

Jason pov for The Lost Hero

Hazel pov for The Son of Neptune

Piper pov for The Mark of Athena

Frank pov for The House of Hades

Leo pov for The Blood of Olympus.

I feel we could have gotten so much more from the characters like this.

Jason where he realizes the gaps in his memory, where he compares camps and fighting styles, Jason where he struggles with his reality and the fact that it was ripped from him once and it could be again (what's to stop it? it was so easy the first time). a deeper insight into his struggle between being Greek and Roman.

Hazel with her past life and how she is tied into the whole prophecy. Hazel learning how her past has brought her people from the present. how she has this power that she doesn't quite know how to use and it's causing a curse.

Piper figuring out who she is without the fake memories of Jason. with the new development of her parentage and the stings attached to that. the way she was the emotion amongst the group . how she worked to make sure everyone felt what they needed to feel. maybe a bit about her sexuality (which from what I gather *Trials of Apollo spoilers* she identifies as lesbian now?).

Frank learning to trust others with a life that ties to something easily gone. Frank figuring out his own mess of power and the burden that comes with being a child not of Aries but of Mars. frank who still grieves his mother. who doesn't really know how to fight the way his parentage would assume. Frank's internal struggles around the life he wants and the life he is being forced to have.

Leo figuring out how to win the war and what he must do. figuring out that he ISNT the seventh wheel. he is simply the seventh. Leo who is not a tag a long for the team but rather an integral and valued member. who doesn't revolve his whole life and interaction around his loneliness. who learns wha it means to be his own person.

I think more could have been done with the books. I think more should have been done. but I am looking at this with the eye of 21 year old who has had years of reading and analysis behind her now. they are still targeted towards 10-12 year olds and although Rick didn't do much for the characters he certainly gave his target audience something to devour.

so I guess everything with a large pinch of salt.

anyway I agree i wish we had more about everything to do with jason but I'm also really happy with our little corner of the universe where we develop and delve into Jason's character without the hindering of canon.

thanks for the ask anon! hope the weekend is going splendidly! I'm sitting in the sun as I type this and it's really a ball