#which are again famous for their depth and complexity

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

there is more depth and complexity in priam pleading with achilles than there is in the entire bible

[inbarfink]

After all these years, ‘I Remember You’ is still one of the great highlights of Adventure Time Storytelling. And not just in the basic ‘what???? Silly children’s cartoon does something SAD??? HOLY SHIT MIND BLOWN’ way. But with the execution of that Something Sad. How it manages to pack so many Complex Emotions into just 11-minutes of television. And especially the way it utilizes the basic Adventure Time format for that purpose.

So Adventure Time is a Board-based show. Each episode has an outline pitched and written down by the writer’s room, and then this outline goes to a team of (usually) two Storyboard Artists who develop that simple outline into a full story. And with the show’s art-style deliberately eschewing staying perfectly ‘on-model’ in favor of having the animators take direct reference from how the different storyboarders draw the characters

And the show being generally extremely versatile in terms of themes and tone - AT has allowed a lot of their Storyboarders to really express themselves and their unique artistic vision as part of the Big Collaborative Narrative that is Adventure Time. 

Now, the Boarders who worked on ‘I Remember You’ are Cole Sanchez and Rebecca Sugar. These two were a Storyboarding Duo from the start of S4 and until Sugar left the AT Crew during S5, and they always struck me as a curious combination. I think really from all of the individual boarders working on AT during that time, these two really are the closest to having like… Totally Opposite Artistic Sensibilities as boarders. 

With Sugar favoring a style that is very loose and sketchy and also very rounded. Focusing on expressions and subtle body language and lighting. And being famous for going deep in depth into Big Moments of Emotional Catharsis

And Sanchez having a very clear art style that emphasizes strong silhouettes and clear lines that suggest flatness. Focusing more on major poses and the character’s positions in the space. And having just a really great eye for AT’s brand of silly humor.

Like, I almost kinda suspect these two were paired together so they can each cover for the other’s “weakspots” in writing ‘Adventure Time’. 

And there were a few episodes that did some really interesting stuff with this very contrasting pair - ‘Jake the Dog’ is another example. Giving most of the Farmworld scenes to Sugar and most of the Time Room scenes to Sanchez both plays to their personal strengths as storyboarders and helps to emphasize the strong emotional contrast between these two scenarios. 

And ‘I Remember You’ is actually kinda unique among Adventure Time episodes cause… Most episodes will have the two boarders alternate between working on the episode throughout it. Like you’d have Boarder A draw a bit and then Boarder B and then Boarder A again… But “I Remember You” is divided between Sanchez and Sugar… basically perfectly in the middle.

So the entirety of the first half of the episode was boarded by Sanchez

Until Ice King pushes Marceline and then leaves the room in shame.

And then, Sugar takes over.

And, like, even if you don’t know anything about the Behind the Scenes of Adventure Time or who Cole Sanchez and Rebecca Sugar even are - the Shift is noticeable. The shift in tone, in narrative focus, in the subtleties in which the characters are drawn. 

The entire first half of the episode has this thin veneer of just being a Silly Goofy Ice King Episode. Sanchez’s talent for Adventure Time’s brand of comedy is on full display… but there is also this underlying feeling that Something is Happening just under the surface. And these hints of the Big Emotions of ‘IRY’ expressed via Sanchez’s kinda goofy style really create this balance between putting the audience into a false sense of security that this is just a Very Normal Episode about two characters hanging out and the Tension constantly brewing in the subtext. 

And then it all comes to a blow.

And then the Shift happens. And now we are in Sugar’s court.

And this subtle shift in the artstyle and storytelling also coincide with Marceline finally openly expressing her feelings and the Reveal of Simon and Marcy's shared past. The episode changes focus from Ice King's silly antics to Marceline's feelings. Everything changes, everything in the first part of the episode gets recontextualized and... even on the most basic level, the episode is now Noticeably Different.

I would almost say that Sanchez’s half of the episode has Ice King define the tone, while Sugar’s half of the episode has Marceline define the tone. But more than anything it’s the catharsis. The reveal and release of those emotions that were building up so expertly through the Sanchez half of the episode. All of the Sugar-boarded scenes in this episode are really heartbreaking on their own, just through the tragedy of the story and Sugar’s expert knowledge of howto convey emotion in the visual medium - but it’s so enchanted by what came before it.

“I Remember You” is truly a great testament to how ‘Adventure Time’ could use every aspect of its medium to tell a great story in such a short time.

[adarkrainbow]

Hello there. First of all thank you for all the analysis and in depth look into fairy tales.

I stumbled upon a take that was utterly surprising to me about how fairy tales validate women through submissive beauty while the men are portrayed as active and violent and how fairy tales are tools to reinforce gender roles and patriarchy.

And I wonder how did we end up here? I seem to remember you talking about how a lot of fairy tales authors were women, but even in the Grimm brothers fairy tales the women are active, it's not only the men who go through trials.

Anyway I was wondering if you had any thoughts on this?

A most interesting, complex and yet simple question!

Do not be surprised by this take: it has been THE dominating take on fairytales until very recently. It was the big 20th century idea about fairytales - and in fact, it was one of the ideas heralded and massively shared by Jack Zipes in his famous book. This is also partially thanks to him that most Americans share this exact same view. Now we know, thanks to today's research, that this is not as true as people like to think and that this only applies to some fairytales - but the idea that fairytales can actually be subversive, can actually challenge an established society's codes, structure or hierarchy, is in truth fairly recent - or rather has only been accepted fairly recently.

A part of this is definitively Disney. There is no denying that the "Disney fairytale" marked forever popular culture's view of fairytales AND that as a result it inclined a lot of people to look at traditional fairytales under a certain angle. Remember - to make a Disney princess an active character, with the likes or their Rapunzel or Tiana, was seen during the movies' releases as a MASSIVE breakthrough for Disney.

That being said, to well answer this, I think a look at the French literary fairytales can be interesting. (Especially since... it is much more of my domain than the Grimm fairytales for example Xp)

Now Jack Zipes expressed this very theory by talking of Charles Perrault fairytales. In his book he clearly said that, through his stories, Perrault taught girls to be passive damsels waiting to be saved ; and boys to be active heroes. The typical "prince saving the damsel in distress ; knight rescuing the princess in the tower". And on a first, superficial, quick glance... Zipes is right - and many, MANY people read Perrault's fairytales as such.

Indeed, female protagonists of Perrault share a distinct passiveness and earn their happy ending through patience, pleasing people and looking good. Cinderella endures abuse without talking back, only has to look pretty for a prince thanks to an outside interference, and her marriage is what saves her - before she even forgives her wicked stepsisters! Sleeping Beauty spends half of her story sleeping before being saved by the arrival of a prince ; and then the second half she is the helpess victim of the ogress and only is helped by either the butler or the prince. The wife of Bluebeard cannot save herself, it is her brothers that save the day, while in Diamond and Toads the good girl is rewarded for just being nice and helping a poor woman, and it is again through a wedding she gains happiness. Many people also like to invoke the semi-fairytale Griselidis which is... a whole another topic to go into.

Meanwhile the male protagonists are "active", industrious heroes and vanquishers of evil. Puss in Boots is a trickster who hunts animals, actively runs around, and devours an ogre. Little Thumbling also puts together all sorts of plans, actively changes the crowns and nightcaps, steals away the ogre's boots, and once again runs around... The brothers of Bluebeard's protagonists are the big heroes that come in the end to murder the persecutor.

So far, it all seems right... And somewhat, yes, it is true. Because of the context, because of the society, culture and time these stories were written into. In 17th century upper-class France, women were only valuable if they were pretty, if they didn't cause trouble, if they could be good wives or good mothers ; men on the contrary were expected to be sportsmen, warriors, active members of their community or of the government... But as usual with Perrault, nothing is as simple as it is, since there is joke and satire hidden in his texts that many fail to see, and when we look a bit closer at all this, we see hidden behind the apparent dichotomy the traces of a more nuanced take.

Yes, Puss in Boots is an active male character... But the marquis de Carabas is just as passive as another Cinderella or Donkeyskin, as he literaly does NOTHING but look good, obey the cat and follow everybody around. "Puss in Boots" is Cinderella told through the eyes of the supernatural helper - the talking cat is the fairy godmother, who is the one that brings beautiful clothes and meeting with the royals and the seeds of a romance to his passive, useless master. In fact, the "morals" of both stories are eerily similar: Perrault jokes at the end of Cinderella that anything is possible as long as you have a powerful or well-placed godparent ; and Puss in Boots moral is also about how "If you can find the way, you can trick the system, and become a prince when you shouldn't AT ALL". Both stories aren't in the end about someone being rewarded for being pretty or enduring suffering - but simply about having enough hidden resources and trickery to use the very flaws of the system used upon you.

Again, let us take Cinderella. She endures her suffering, according to people, she does nothing for herself, the fairy godmother does everything, and her salvation comes from a prince marrying her... She is pointed out to be so naive she chats with her stepsisters as if everything was normal when she is at the ball. She proves to be the ultimate goody-two-shoes when she forgives her persecutors at the end... And yet, what does the moral point out? That openly forgiving your enemies is the best way to put them in your pocket... because as such they'll be indebted to you, and you forced them into depending on your kindness. The idea of a sly and more cunning Cinderella is also highlighted by the ambiguity of when Cinderella loses her shoe. Perrault writes it so that it is unclear if she loses the shoe by accident... or if she deliberatly drops it. Same cunning with Donkeyskin - she does have on her own the idea of dropping a ring into the cake for the prince, ensuring her marriage with him...

So while the female protagonists of Perrault are definitively NOT active, it does not mean they are dumb or just pretty faces or that they are just rewarded for being "nice". They are intelligent, they know how to go around, there is a certain celebration of the "feminine cunning" if you will. Diamonds and Toads' moral isn't about actually being nice ; it is about learning when to be polite and when to do flattery when needed. Perrault's fairytales truly are about glorifying inventivity, intelligence and tricks. And the "passive character only good at being beautiful and married" does not exclusively apply to women. The marquis de Carabas is a good example, but what about the prince of Sleeping Beauty? All he does is literally... come in. Arrive. And that's it. How does he save Sleeping Beauty from her sleep? He just enters the castle, and suddenly she wakes up, not even a kiss. How does he save his wife from the ogress? He comes in and asks what's going, and everything is solved immediately. The actual heroic force of the tale is the butler, who is the one that saves the day - but again, not by using power, but by using tricks, deceiving the ogress that he cannot possibly fight (ogres embodying brutality and violence). In fact you have no monster-killer or dragon-slayers in Perrault's fairytales - the closest of a monster killer is Puss in Boots, but only because he tricks the ogre into turning into a mouse. Little Thumbling does not defeat the ogre by strength or violence - again it is all tricks and deception... and theft.

Because this is the other side of the "active male character". Yes, male heroes in Perrault's tale are more active than their female counterpart. But are they moral or "deserving" because of it? Certainly not. Puss in Boots lies to a king, threatens poor peasants so they say lies, usurps the castle of its legitimate lord and deceives the king into marrying the princess well under her rank. Similarly, Little Thumbling tricks an ogre into committing an infanticide, steals his boots from him (but so far it is all excused because the victims are the worst kind of ogres) - and then he scams a grieving mother into giving away all her fortune, before becoming a personal messenger for adulterers... And the narrator himself points out the immorality of those actions. Once again, it isn't because the male characters are more active that they are supposed to be praised for it... Perrault's tales are ultimately, deep down, hidden under a fake veneer of politeness and romance and galant things, trickster tales.

But to get that, you need to read carefully the stories and place them back into their proper context, and many people failed to do it in the 19th century, wrote a lot of misinformed texts that influence the people of the 20th century, and Disney was yet another relay of this misconception, and from generation to generation it all piled up... Claiming that Perrault was SUBVERSIVE in the second half of the 20th century was something seen as a genius and fresh take - when in fact it is just... just a truth people had failed to see.

However we can't reduce everything to Perrault. I mean the 19th and 20th centuries did reduce everything to Perrault, but let's see at the mother of the French fairytale, madame d'Aulnoy. Each of the female authors of fairytales had their own take and twist on gender norms and gender stereotypes, but given the scope and influence of madame d'Aulnoy (still felt in the 19th century), we will focus on her.

Madame d'Aulnoy's fairytales ARE the ones from which the idea that a fairytale is a "knight saving a damsel in a tower from a dragon" comes from. And, again, from a quick glance, madame d'Aulnoy seems to perfectly embody the dichotomy of "A heroine has to be patient and pretty and saved and pleasant and passive ; a hero has to be an active, vigorous, strong savior and monster-slayer". Graceful and Percinet? (Also known as Graciosa and Percinet). It is Psyche's myth told all over again. The Yellow Dwarf? A king keeps searching for his missing fiancee trapped away, and confronts all sorts of obstacles in-between. The Benevolent Frog? A prince kills the dragon that wants to eat his future wife, who literaly does nothing throughout the tale. The Doe in the Woods? The princess spends her time locked away, turned into an animal or fleeing, while the prince is a warrior and hunter who actively keeps going around.

And yet, once again, this just a watered-down, simplified, 19th century-glasses on vision of madame d'Aulnoy's fairytales. She had a wild, WILD life that led her to understand being an obedient good girl and passive meant NOTHING (in fact I do plan on making a series of posts about the craziness of these female French fairytale authors) - she conspired to have her abusive husband killed, she had to flee the country to escape authorities, she knew more than anyone that women had to be active to save their skin in life. And all throughout her stories, she kept having strong, active, female characters that broke the "passive mold", and on the contrary men that failed to be the "active ideal". All of it wrapped into the craziness, madness and exhuberant firework of animalistic fairies, enormous giants, multi-headed dragons and other clownish looking wizards, so that it looked less obvious at first glance. The princess of the Yellow Dwarf spends her time attacked by the titular dwarf and locked within his domain waiting for a rescue, but the story begins when she decides on her own to undergo a dangerous and perillous travel to find out what her mother suffers from, while the prince is shown to be quite helpless against the magic of the Fairy of the Desert and needs the magic of the mermaid to escape. In the Benevolent Frog, the prince kills the dragon... But at the very end, after being given all sorts of magical artefacts and an impossible horse, and they do the trick instead of him (similar to the prince's so-called "victory" against Maleficent in Disey's Sleeping Beauty, where it was truly the fairies that did the work) ; meanwhile the princess' father, the king, also proved utterly useless at saving his wife and daughter spending several years just... sitting by the side of a lake ; all the while his wife and daughter had to become amazonian huntresses, and the fairy-frog is shown doing all the behind-the-scenes work of saving everybody, using a lot of resources, and performing hard feats such as going at the top of a long staricase made for giants WITH THE BODY OF A TINY FROG, which is why she spends years doing so.

And many more are the tales breaking the mold! Cunning Cinders? The girl literaly CHOPS OFF an ogress' head with an axe, right after pushing an ogre into the oven - and it was no small feat given the ogre was also a giant. In the Pigeon and the Dove, the first time the giant imprisons the princess, putting her in his bag, she gets out by herself, without anybody's help. The Orange-Tree and the Bee? The princess does all the work - saves the prince, hides him, feeds him, nurse him, takes him away ; while also doing all the heroic and clever feats, tricking the ogres, stealing their magic wand, performing magical transformations. No wonder the final transformation is passive for the prince (the orange-tree) and active for the princess (the bee that stings anybody getting too close to the tree). In fact, the fairytale "La princesse Printanière", (Princess Mayblossom in English), seems to be an explicit and literal deconstruction of the passive-active model: the titular princess acts like a typical "good princess" (following her heart's impulses without thinking about it too much ; giving kindly all her food to her lover on a deserted island), only to be met by the harshest of realities (following an unknown pretty boy around is not good, and her lover is a selfish and brutal jerk). She only can escape the bad situation she created for herself by STABBING HER EVIL LOVER IN THE EYE, and then she is greeted by the positive sight of her fairy godmother in a war attire, beating the crap out of the wicked fairy of the story in a celestial duel. In fact, this tale contains a double message about women being active to change their life, because before her "passive episode" on the Island of Squirrels that gives her all sorts of misery, she is active, oh yes. She forces the random boy she just met to follow him, and she plans a whole escape at night - because, like an active character, she wants to determine her life, she wants to just do as she pleases, she show who's in charge... But this is proven bad because as it turns out acting impulsively and harshly without prudence or thought - taking away the hand of the first pretty boy that passes, fleeing rashly at night on a whim without preparing any substantial thing - only leads to disaster and misery (being stuck on a deserted island with an abusive companion). And this is opposed to the good "activity" in the end, one thought about and that is a just reaction to the situation, or well-equiped for handling its problem - the princess killing her would-be-murderer ; the good fairy getting a chariot, weapons and an armor to destroy the old, wicked, rusty Carabosse.

This all comes very clearly and strongly in d'Aulnoy's fairytales - if Perrault wasn't so much about gender as he was about tricks, cunning and cheating the system with well-placed connections ; madame d'Aulnoy clearly had some ideas of how women should learn to be active queens, great warriors, trained travellers, well-equiped survivors and, if need there is, monster slayers. Is it then a wonder that when the authorities and minds of the 19th century took a good look at fairytales, they decided that madame d'Aulnoy should be erased in favor of Perrault, where the ideal female models are a girl sleeping a thousand year, another girl that gets hit without answering back, a princess that becomes a cleaning-girl and a cook good ; or even a nice girl with big diamonds?

What happened? In the case of French fairytales: this. First all the openly subversive authors were pushed aside and buried in oblivion ; then the more subtle ones had their tales oversimplified or read the wrong way until it entered a mold they were not supposed to fit. Madame d'Aulnoy was forgotten, and people took Perrault's jokes seriously.

[ishouldgetatumbler]

<< < ao3 > >>

Artemis sat on the wooden desk the boys shared, broken communicator strewn across the table. He took it apart to figure out how it works, and only then did he understand how broken it was. He looked at his watch, making sure he hadn't lost track of time. He blinked, trying to clear the blur from his cyclopean vision. 7:55. He watched the boys and thought.

He was reaching an important age, or so Butler had told him. An age where it was important for him to begin engaging with his peers, the girls and perhaps boys of his classes.

Butler was absolutely correct.

Children were like embryos, constantly shifting, gaining depth and complexity.

Not him of course, his mind had been a infinite crystal of cool calculation since he could remember.He has learned things of course, but his mind had stayed the same, a sharp and efficient machine of function and cold calculation expanding to contain the new information, but not changing.

His peer's minds would never be what his was, but they had become people at least. They had their own desires, their own drives and ambition. His peers were now smart enough to be manipulated.

Of course it was easy to trick a six year old, he'd spent a lot of time doing it, but the fruits of his labor were essentially nil. Children knew nothing he didn't, and could acquire nothing he couldn't acquire easily.

The people around him are tools and, for once, they were useful tools. Sturdy enough to survive, smart enough to solve simple problems on their own. Finally the most plentiful resourse was actually something he could exploit.

Damian seemed like a simpleton trapped in genius's mind. Sharp witted, capable in combat and insatiable desire to punch his problems in the face repeatedly. He was, for Artemis' guess, furious beyond reason that he couldn't couldn't solve Artemis by punching him in the face. There were truly few problems that couldn't be solved with extreme violence, and Artemis was proud to one of them.

Danny seemed like he was hiding something, but his secret would offer little to Artemis until he could unveil it. Asking directly would only tip his attention that Artemis wished to know.

"Did your father or mother make the device?" Artemis asked Danny, watching Damian.

The boy's face soured like he sucked a lemon, his every feature screaming 'I thought you said he was no one' in a frustrated growl.

Artemis grinned a slimy little smile.

"Kind of a joint process." Danny said airily, "do you know them?"

"They're famous in certain circles. Infamous in many others." Artemis answered vaguely.

Danny nodded, his parent's polarizing impact known best to him.

Artemis has learned of them through his work in 'esoteric' sciences as he prefered to call them, they were geniuses with ectoplasm and often measurable on gieger counter at some distance.

"If you want to repair it, we'll need to steal some things." Artemis said, looking over the device.

Damian made a face.

"Borrow without permission or intent to return," Artemis said after a moment, "better?"

"Why are you antagonizing me?"

"not sure. why are you so easy to antagonize?"

Damian marched to Artemis, raising his fist like a gavel to strike down solemn judgement. Artemis looked up from his tinkering, glancing to Damian's threatening scowl, then back down to his watch. 7:57 Damian scoffed and turned away.

"I'll let you know when we find something I need," Artemis said, looking after Damian as he left "I'll do this." He made a quick gesture with one hand.

Damian immidiately mimmicked him, his hands forming the same odd rounded shape.

"Stealing from these guys?" Danny groaned.

"Listen," Artmeis inerjected.

"How? They have cameras everwhere!" One of boys said, Artemis did not care which.

"LISTEN!," Artemis said again, raising his wristwatch, "the mics will get hot in here at lights out at 8, it's currently-"

"What?" Damian barked, "how much do you know, what are you-"

"It's currently 7:59, I need you too-"

"Why did you wait until now you-"

The lights dropped.

In darkness, someone roared and a fist collided with Artemis's one good eye.

[schweety]

i've been bitching about the ending non-stop so i sat down and thought about how i would've ended it, so here are my thoughts (unhinged)

first and foremost: hiyori's death

how i would have done it: she had an unique status as an half-ayakashi. a few chaps back, when she was almost sucked into that hole, i wholly believed adachitoka was planning for her to go to the underworld to meet izanami. i'd have loved to see her meet the goddess of death, somehow get the info on how to break the koto no ha (as izanami is surely still mad at father), making a promise to her to bring father to her and then return to the near shore (as she's half-human) to kill father without having to die for the melodrama of it all.

and to make her return to her body, yato'd have had to cut their ties once and for all, making her forget about him (this would have been just as emotional and dramatic as her death!)

second: the whole heaven arc

i would've shown at least SOMETHING about heaven (like a covenant) officially pardoning bishamon and co. and amaterasu announcing that heaven had to change their ways in order to never let anything like this happen again. amaterasu saw first-hand what corruption could lead to and an insight into her mind, her thoughts and learnings all brought to her by yato would've resolved at least some of the loose threads from the heaven arc.

third: god's greatest secret

this wasn't resolved at all by adachitoka. kazuma and yukine have been touched by GGS and lived! nice, but what about the secret as a whole? honestly, all gods should be deadly afraid of them bc of this and not allow their shinkis to hang with them at all lol.

the whole point of GGS was that the painful, regretful death of their past lives would corrupt a shinki. the solution to this whole thing, in my eyes? break the taboo as a whole. not sure how exactly i'd have handled this, but if all shinkis knew their past lives, they could start healing each other together, playing back into the famous quote that ,,only humans can help humans'', which shinki are. ofc, this would need like a whole arc of itself so the ending in the manga is fine, i guess. they just don't rly talk about it lol.

fourth: father

OOOH what wasted potential! he was so complex and then they went ''haha, bad guy go blubblub'' which i honestly don't even mind at all. but i'd have added at least one scene of him meeting izanami back in the underworld, with her wearing kaya's face once again. he'd hear kaya's words ''to let it go'' one last time before he accepts his death and failure, embracing izanami and meeting his end therem eternal limbo. it'd have been a deserved death, bc he was (comically) evil and did terrible things but with some more context and depth to his character (which he always had!).

fifth, yato's lifeline (the most important one)

the literal plotpoint of the manga was yato being recognized as a god by the people. the whole twitter debacle was funny, yeah, but oh so cheap.

i personally would've loved for him to realize, after saving hiyori, that he actually wasn't disappearing at all, making him realize that there were people believing in him (like masaomi). they could've cut back to the little boy with his cat, who still thought about yato as his saviour, or to the girl he saved in chapter 1, who remembered a god that had brought her happiness. he'd have realized that, while bringing calamity, he had also been a god of fortune to them all the time. would've been such a nice, full circle and such a good pointe to this whole lifeline thematic and another realization that father had been lying to him all along. BUT NO. TWITTER SAVED HIM. hsuiahfsdufhudzshf

and lastly, the timeskip:

honestly? i liked this about the chap. showing hiyori as a doctor, her thriving, i was so happy! i would've kept that. also i like the fact that yato hid her diary from her, in order to let her live her life after cutting their ties, peak drama, mwah!

of course, she remembers him, i loved how his name formed on her lips and boom, there he was, on the tree

i would've added a convo, something, anything!!! they haven't talked in yrs (real-time!) so they should've exchanged words, a hug, WHATEVER, accepting their love for each other, accepting that she has to live on on the near shore, as much as it dooms their relationship. some frigging acknowledgment of their feelings for each other, come on!

also, yatorine reunion, before we cut to the end page where hiyori writes in her diary about yato.

the rest? i was fine with. take has a good end, bishamon has a good end, nora especially won! i liked these points but like… everything else i pointed out? too sad we're left with these threads hanging loose, i guess :(

[flanpucci]

I want to dedicate a love post to Enrico Pucci because I just love him so much and my brain will never be the same again

I love that he's complex and flawed and driven by his grief and the depth of his love. I love how unacceptable his destiny is and he will do anything to open everyone's eyes to the absence of power they have in the story's world. It is impossible for him to exist in his world where he was created only to serve the purpose of giving the Joestars something to oppose and grow from, and the remedy he has found to this is to simply take control of the story, end everything and start again with the knowledge he has acquired, and maybe, the hope to free himself from his sins and bring back his loved ones.

I admire his will and determination to strive for greatness, self-growth and to see things to their end more than anything, staying calm and not backing away, seizing every opportunity. He also learns from everyone around him, from their battle tactics, from their relationships. He's a very smart and analytical character even though he's also stubborn and throws fits from time to time, which show his humanity, which is necessary since he's so superior without those flawed moments. I like his loneliness, the way he has a way to talk to and taunt people that's very unique to him, and directed at himself, he doesn't care if you don't understand, he doesn't care if he's celebrating his victories alone, he'll do it anyway. He's fun and quirky to look at, when he interacts with people, he's fun to anger, and it's satisfying to see him getting in dire situations (especially if he gets up from them)

He's evil and flawed and is a ruthless, one-track minded man, he's self-centered and can't accept (understand?) that people have different mindsets than himself. He knows he's right from start to finish, and that makes him such a great character with incredible confidence and charisma. He's the most terrifying character in all of JJBA, arguably the most powerful, his ability is just pure chaos and his eyes are cold as hell. He's got a strong inclination for revenge and likes to carry it in style, even if it means taking some damage in the process. I also like how ambiguous he is with some other characters, taking advantage of the fact they are drawn to him, using his appeal as a means to obtain what he wants. His dynamic with Dio brings a lot of depth to Dio's character, giving him the almost 'humanity' he severely lacks in other parts (especially SDC), it's very enjoyable to watch the way they interact together, which is so different from how we see them act with other people. The whole idea of the bone, fusing, and MIH is aesthetically really interesting and I liked trying to notice moments where the Dio influence might have taken over Pucci's decisions.

The themes surrounding him are very referenced and fascinating, religion, art, biology, physics and space, technology, philosophy, the stand lore... The details and references that come give depth to his character are limitless, did you know there's an actual italian scientist on gravity whose name was Enrico Pucci? That the adulterous priest he reads about in church is a famous painter who regretted taking his oath at 15 and had ties to the real Pucci family in Italy? He's also a very well constructed character in terms of psychology, he's never OOC, he feels very 3D in a 2D world.

Also he's awesome black representation in terms of character design with references to fashion (Versace '97), probably Michael Jackson too, the flag of the city of Florence, the emblem of the Pucci family... His character design is holy with just a touch of sinful, and I'm not even talking about how cool Whitesnake is in general. I really like how Pucci/Whitesnake oppose both Weather/Weather Report but also Jonathan in terms of design. He's the most beautiful character I've ever seen overall, wears a beautiful tight and shiny gown, beautiful both in color and in black and white, first has a fun, pretty but manly design, which turns into a cute star-shaped motif shamelessly stolen from the Joestars, he has tired downturned eyes filled with depression, and the cutest nose in all of JJBA, he's tall and handsome with the big chest and shoulders especially in anime but also cute and feminine and has thin wrists and those cute sleeves... He's giving mom and dad at the same time and I love how curious he is with the green baby and how proud and happy he is with C-Moon and MIH and YES HES MY FAVE ANYWAYS

I didn't even get into how interesting he represents the relationship between faith, philosophy and science, or his relationship to the concept of blood ties, I could go on for hours but I'm late for class

[evan-collins90]

Subterranean Discotheque ‘Olimpo’ - Rome, IT (1987)

Designed by Pino Piantanida 

“Mt. Olympus, so legend tells us, was the lofty habitat of the Greek gods, from which the deities ruled over the earthlings. Olimpo, by contrast, is a subterranean complex situated deep in the heart of Rome: a combined discotheque and piano bar, and the current favorite among the nocturnal haunts of the jeuness dorée. As for the reality, the site on which Olimpo stands (or, more explicitly, was sunk into) near the Pantheon was, in the days of Imperial Rome, the site of a complex of Roman baths, a fact whose authenticity was proved during excavations in that area. The boundary walls of the disco area are actually those of the baths. So much for history. 

Pino Piantanida, the architect who envisioned and designed Olimpo, found his inspiration in both the myths of antiquity and the historic facts that were revealed to him. Giving his imagination free rein, he has created a dream-like atmosphere: one in which the gods and goddesses appear amid the evanescent clouds of a sky that is sometimes blue, sometimes flame-colored—an effect he has achieved through lighting and mirrors. Should the ancient Romans return to their old haunt, they would doubtless find the whole picture confusing. The young Romans of today. however, take it all in stride, and evidently feel completely at home with it.

For starters, the existing interior divisions of the area (3,800 sq. ft.) were demolished, and all traces of its former incarnations were erased. The space was then divided into three main rooms and one small bar. all interconnected by a labyrinthine system of corridors designed to effect a transition from one room to another and back again, returning by a different route, all of which may mystify the first-time visitor, as the designer doubtless intended it should.

Piantanida likes to think of the descent from the sidewalk into the depths of the disco as a descent into the Roman baths, and so he has used deep turquoise as the basic color here. Distant skies are painted in tempera by Piantanida and Leonardo Tonioni, his assistant, in varying pinks deepening into flame. Thus the three basic elements, earth, fire and water, are portrayed.

The floor of the disco room is made of structural glass and is lighted from beneath with blue, pink and flame-colored tubes that give to the floor a sensation of movement. The upper reaches are lighted only with spots at rare intervals, preserving the mysterious atmosphere. The ceilings and walls, above the "water line," are pure white, except for a simulated black crack, and for the finely drawn greater-than-life-size heads and figures of mythological figures. In the first room the head of Laocoon floats in clouds above the dancers; on another wall Diana fixes a victim with her arrow. Above the bar, Bacchus (after Bronzino) hovers, and in yet another room, the horses of Castor and Pollux assume the same pose as that in which they are seen in the famous sculpture group in the Piazza Quirinale. Structural glass, illuminated from beneath, in the same color combination as that used in the dance floor, is also used for the center paths of the corridors leading from room to room, leaving the walls and ceilings in near-darkness. The piano bar is simply furnished with comfortable chairs, sofas and small tables, and is dimly lit, except for the farthest wall, which has a trompe l'oeil mural of a fiery sunset. Piantanida has achieved his dramatic effects with contrasting lights and darks, and with brilliant hues against black and white. His original injection of mythological figures, finely drawn and of heroic proportions, adds wit to the whole harmonious scheme.”

See Neoclassical PoMo, Pomo Faux Ruins, and Pacific Punk Wave

Scanned from an April 1987 issue of Interior Design Magazine 

[nightswithkookmin]

When he talks about being the only one that feels so lonely in this way, he is right in that not everyone cares about what others think of them the way he does.

He's too much of a Libra and too emotionally self aware for his own good. He wants to do the right thing and it's hurting him. Can't you see?

You damn right Jungkook doesn't have that problem. why would he? he can't relate cos he Don give a fuck what no body thinks of him.

ZERO FUXKS GIVEN BY THAT MAN.

So I understand why that can feel so lonely even when he's with Jungkook. I can imagine Jungkook scolding him and telling him he should stop caring what others think of him and Suga telling him NEVERMIND whenever he tries to discuss this with the members. Just because they are all men in the same band don't mean they have the same personalities. They have intersecting identities that results in unique struggles.

Hobi might be facing mental health problems associated with being famous that JM could not be suffering from. That don't mean JM doesn't have issues.

Similarly, just because JM talks about these issues don't mean JK doesn't have his own problems.

The tattoos is on their body for a reason you know?

And like Jungkook says, life's too short to be living for others. He even called him out on his life for asking him not to drink and live. If you want JM closely, he's always the one reminding the members hey don't show the alcohol bottle there might be young armys watching, oops naked portrait in the back Lemme zoom and cover it. All these scandals JK has been engulfed in couldn't be him. JM is a multifaceted complex human being. He's not complicated. There's depth to him.

Please go back and read ally analysis on those two it's pretty much what I have been saying about those two from day one that the major issue of conflict between them is JMs propensity to be too careful with everything they do.

For some this might be hard to swallow because they see JM as equally daring and bold which he is but again I keep saying part of that is very performative and easy to play up. A lot of actors get blasted for not being eloquent off cams. Beyonce has a whole persona she calls Sasha which is totally different from who she is off stage.

Personally I like that JM cares so much and is self aware and is soxially and emotionally intelligent but that can hold him back as well if it gets in his way of being happy and being true to himself.

I thought JK was nuts but I understand why he chose not to post for anyone he didn't want to post for on their birthday. I understand why Tae did the same thing. They are all trying to break away from the public facade. Face off. Whatever roles they were assigned, Whatever masks they put on, whatever identities they portrayed to the public, they are finally taking it all off.

Thank you Jimin. Your journey of self growth is truly inspiring and wonderful. You are a wonderful human being. Thank you for Face. Thank you for your uniqueness. Thank you for your presence in this time and in this life. You bless my life with your existence every single day.

[vote-gaara]

This is neither here nor there but I love the idea of gaara being super into music but *solely* to have deep thoughts about the lyrics while almost disregarding the music itself entirely. mcr famous last words 'I am not afraid to keep on living/ I am not afraid to walk this world alone' 🤔 wow just like when I spoke to kankuro. carly rae jepsen call me maybe 'before you came into my life I missed you so bad' 🤔 the depth of yearning for a precious thing missing from your life that you dont even realise you're missing. billy joel piano man 'they're sharing a drink they call loneliness/ but it's better than drinking alone' 🤔 the pain of loneliness leads one to seek companionship in the most unlikely of places. Do you see my vision

Thank you for this ask as it has allowed me to consider aspects of Gaara I would've never thought of.

Mostly, I think Gaara is a little...hmmm....BORING! But then again, I don't think that's true, either. Let me explain:

I don't think that, according to his "default", he has appreciation for things like music, art, fiction or movies. Likely this is the result of how he was raised in isolation, where the feelings conjured by artists eluded him because he couldn't relate to the characters nor appreciate the source the story came from. This habit of disregarding things that weren't "more serious" or "relevant" to his everyday life then carried over to his current self, as since becoming Kazekage, he really has no time to partake in leisure (but very necessary) practices like experiencing art.

Now here's where the complexity of Gaara's character really comes into play:

I believe, wholeheartedly, that Gaara would actually make a FANTASTIC artist, and that he could learn to be moved through art with the right guidance and proding.

Gaara has poor art literacy. He doesn't see a movie or read a book to explore themes; rather he sees them as very objective plot lines such as "first A happened, then B, then C, then it ends."

Basically, Gaara can parse through a story for information but he needs to work on tapping into his empathy for characters that may not exist.

I guarantee that if you get this man into a book club, he would show up to the second or third meeting after reading a few chapters and he would be BLOWN AWAY by what other people had observed; the emotion, the themes, the ambiguity, the subtle things he missed because he wasn't reading the book "correctly."

It would be a borderline religious experience for him, I swear to you.

Even with music, as you suggest. Gaara would see it as "noise" but you get him to really think about what emotion in conjures - what power can be moved through lyrics - and suddenly his mind would be completely and totally blown. Especially if you get him with the symbolism of different instruments. He would suddenly see it as a language that he didn't even know existed (which he would find really cool)!

As I said before, he would probably make a really great artist himself. If you sit him down and you tell him to paint, draw, sculpt, or even write a poem about his life you would get something very moving and powerful. The type of art that brings you to your knees. But alas, he wouldn't really be moved by his own piece, either. Sure, it would be lightly therapeutic for him to have created something from his soul, but it would seem almost mundane to him.

Any art he creates he would see as just being a reflection of his life - or at least how he would see it - and it wouldn't mean anything to him passed "this is what happened to me, and it hurt, but things are better and the world is a better place."

Which begs the question:

Is Gaara really artistically illiterate? Or has he experienced so much in his life that anything that would move the masses, emotionally destroy you or me, simply be too elementary to him?

Either way...I vote that you drag him to concerts and plays, and you share music with him. At the very least, he would (as his current self) appreciate the bonding moment.

[fairysbookshelf]

Never Ever Getting Back Together by Sophie Gonzales

Book Stats:

Rating:⭐⭐⭐⭐(4/5)

Spice Rating: YA❤️

Tropes: Forced Proximity, Enemies to Lovers

Publisher: St Martin's Press

Review:

If there is one thing about Maya, it's that she hates her ex. Jordy, a famous philanthropist partially related to the royal family cheats on her, she is ready to let the world know. So when she has the opportunity to go on a reality tv show with him(In which he is trying to find love with his ex's) and show the world what a true Rake he really is, she can't turn it down. Only problem? She has Skye, the girl he cheated on her with in the running, and Maya will do anything to get revenge. Maya is in for one wild ride, and maybe end up finding love in her own way.

This book gives me modern selection vibes. I do love the girl power twist on it though.

I really enjoyed the two strong female complex characters in the novel. They have great chemistry, and do well to balance each other out. They aren't one dimensional, they have alot of depth to each other.

The Author writes a really good villain. I was cheering the entire time for his downfall. Most of the time in books the villain doesn't feel realistic, but Jordy does. I think that is because it's the world we live in. As I mentioned there is a very girl power feminist take on the whole situation , the idea that everyone is banning together to take this Capital 'R' Rake down, it's very refreshing, especially in a romance novel. As much as enjoy the typical romance novel, it's nice to see that love can bloom even with the modern woman in mind.

It also ends a very satisfying happily ever after that made me feel like I was 13 years old again, cheering on Laura Jean and Peter in the Movie all the boys I've Loved Before. The Romance Plot line is just written so well.

[thisbluespirit]

Top 5 ( or 10) period dramas

Thank you! Also so tough! Classic Lit adaptations, general period drama, which period, films, tv series.... /flails about.

OK, so for the purposes of this ask, I'm going for 20th C Brit TV period drama series, so with the caveat that you need to be prepared for the style, pace and other hazards of 1960s-70s TV, I think these five are still unbeatable:

Upstairs Downstairs (ITV 1970s)

Upstairs Downstairs is a brilliant, compelling original drama about one upper class London house and its family and servants, and often a surprisingly hard-hitting examination of the class system, made in an era when they could still make use of living memory to recreate the Edwardian era. (Despite my gif, it is a colour production - a handful of s1 eps were hit by a strike at Thames TV and had to be made in b&w!)

2. The Forsyte Saga (BBC 1967)

The Forsyte Saga is an epic adaptation of Galsworthy's series of novels (covering the story of one middle class family from the late 19thC to the 1920s). It has a truly amazing cast and was a sensation worldwide back in the 60s - and a true passion project for its producer. It's complex, in depth and full of theatrical nuance and was the last hurrah of the Beeb's classic drama in black and white.

These two are probably the biggest Brit TV period dramas of all time. Purely because of the way TV is watched now, you will never get those audiences again - both were popular enough to get remade in the 21st C, but while both of those series are fine, neither can quite match the originals in terms of depth or cultural impact). Definitely not overrated - and the same is true of this next entry:

3. Elizabeth R (BBC 1970)

Glenda Jackson is awesome as Elizabeth I - what more needs to be said? This is another all-time famous BBC production that's stood the test of time.

4. Poldark (BBC 1975-1977)

Even if this weren't purely 20th C shows, I confess I'd have to plump for this adaptation rather than the more recent every time - while s1 makes a few changes to the novels, it consistently 'gets' the books and what Graham is saying in them in a way the 21st C one seems to be deliberately refusing to engage with (despite a very nice cast!) Plus, give me Angharad Rees and Robin Ellis together, Ralph Bates, Judy Geeson in fabulous outfits, Ross's fighter pilot leather jacket (see above re. getting it - even the costume designer got it), actually, everybody's colourful jackets, excellent treatment of class issues involved, Francis generally, and just that bit more fire and bite somehow. (Er. Literally in the case of S1, lol! Watch the 1970s burn down buildings that shouldn't be burnt!)

5. Enemy at the Door (ITV 1978-1980)

A less obvious choice, but this WWII drama set during the Occupation of the Channel Islands is just so well written, with complexity and compassion, exploring all the issues of the situation, with finely drawn regulars on both sides. I've come back to it so many times, and I know that other people who've taken the time to watch it have loved it, too, so it's not just me. It's not an action-drama, like a lot of WWII things - it's a show about people trapped in a situation where action is often limited - but if you like thoughtful and painful exploration of the greyer areas of humanity, it's sadly unfinished, but it's one of the best.

(And, I know, I know, where's I, Claudius? But it gave me nightmares about Brian Blessed dying, so it's not on my personal list!! ;-p)

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Princess Diarist. By Carrie Fisher. Blue Rider Press, 2016.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: memoir

Series: N/A

Summary: When Carrie Fisher discovered the journals she kept during the filming of the first Star Wars movie, she was astonished to see what they had preserved--plaintive love poems, unbridled musings with youthful naiveté, and a vulnerability that she barely recognized. Before her passing, her fame as an author, actress, and pop-culture icon was indisputable, but in 1977, Carrie Fisher was just a teenager with an all-consuming crush on her costar, Harrison Ford.

With these excerpts from her handwritten notebooks, The Princess Diarist is Fisher's intimate and revealing recollection of what happened on one of the most famous film sets of all time--and what developed behind the scenes. Fisher also ponders the joys and insanity of celebrity, and the absurdity of a life spawned by Hollywood royalty, only to be surpassed by her own outer-space royalty. Laugh-out-loud hilarious and endlessly quotable, The Princess Diarist brims with the candor and introspection of a diary while offering shrewd insight into one of Hollywood's most beloved stars.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: alcohol, adultery

The aspect of this book I liked best was Carrie's honesty. Carrie holds nothing back and is quite upfront about her insecurities, her naivite, and her desire to please. The effect is that this memoir reads like a snapshot of a teenage girl who is starstruck by a much older man, and it's both hilarious and a little sad (in that Harrison Ford comes across as... not great).

Let's just get this part out of the way: this is not an in-depth behind-the-scenes look at the filming of Star Wars. The book jacket and marketing might be a little misleading on that front. If you're here for more Star Wars trivia or juicy gossip from one of the franchise's buggesy stars, best go elsewhere.

What this is, more than anything else, is Carrie's reflection on a number of things: her relationship with Harrison Ford while she was was a teenager and he was married and in his mid-thirties, how so-called "washed up" actresses struggle to make a living, the complicated feelings Carrie has regarding conventions and fame. For what it is, this book is endlessly funny, raw, and heartbreaking, moving from Carrie's characteristic humor and self-deprication to a hard-hitting insight into the workings of Hollywood and celebrity fandom.

Still, I don't think I can give this book more than 3.5 stars because there were aspects of Carrie's writing that didn't click for me. Some of her phrasing was a little awkward, and sometimes she would veer off in different directions (which is fine - that's the way her mind works - but it is also hard to follow sometimes). I also would have liked Carrie to deliver some sort of takeaway for each chapter - not necessarily a "moral to the story," but a clear(er) verbalizarion of the insights she gained by reflecting on the stories she's told.

The excerpts from her diary were also nice little insights to Carrie's headspace at the time, and if you care about Carrie as a person (not just Carrie as Princess Leia), they're a lovely look into the way her mind works.

But perhaps the section I liked best was Carrie's chapter on conventions. I found her honesty and complexity to be incredibly insightful and it shines a light on what she had to deal with for 40 years after the first Star Wars film.

Still, I'm glad I read this book. It's quick, it's amusing, and the photos are charming and nostalgic. The book perhaps hits a little different because both Carrie and her mother are gone, so some of my good feeling might be influenced by me being a fan who misses these icons. But if you love Carrie, you'll cherish this chance to "hear" her voice again.

[pleuvoire]

i've been reading every rising sun by jamila ahmed. it is a historically-grounded retelling of the story of shaherazade. i love the prose and the grounded attention to historical detail and it's emotionally compelling, i've been getting through a hundred pages at a time, it's an engaging read. and it's set during the islamic golden age which is one of my favorite eras of history to learn about. but it is in some ways not quite living up to my expectations. i was hoping there would be more political machinations because it is about shaherazade trying to keep the ruler who beheads all his wives placated during a time when the declining seljuk empire (which the main characters belong to) is under attack from the khwarazmian empire and the oghuz turks at the same time, and also all of them have to deal with the threat of the franks undertaking the third crusade. so for example, shaherazade considers letting the murderous malik she's married to ride off to jerusalem and die fighting against the european crusaders, but if she does that then the region she lives in might fall to the khwarazmids and oghuz, so she has to come with him to try to keep him alive. that sort of thing is fun, but there is a lot less of it over the course of 400 pages than i was hoping for, and more of it is devoted to shaherazade trying to keep on his good side so he doesn't kill her, especially when she starts crushing on this other guy and has to try to keep it hidden. i mean i understand because writing intricate politics is hard as shit. but also i'm a bit disappointed. oh well.

another aspect i'm disappointed in is the whole story thing. of the course the story of shaherazade is famous for how she kept herself alive by telling her husband compelling stories and leaving him in suspense. this was portrayed really well in the beginning but then the book became more about a bunch of other stuff happening and the storytelling started to feel more incidental. it still serves a role because every time he gets pissed at her for something else she's like "umm hey wanna hear the next part of the story i was telling?" and it distracts him but, idk, i was expecting it to be way more central to the plot. also, the stories themselves are not very compelling. they feel way too modern in their style and structure and the amount of detail involved and they don't have the same timeless enduring folkloric feel as the actual irl 1001 nights. i've been writing a lot of spiders jeremy fanfic lately and really having fun messing around with that fairytale storytelling style, so it disappoints me that the author couldn't be bothered to do that, or at least not very much. then again, replicating that kind of folkloric style is really hard. i'm reminded of how recently i was reading the first queen's thief book which is super good but every time the characters start telling a mythological story from their world i feel like "hmm... this is a bit too detailed... it just doesn't quite feel like real irl mythology..." but i feel like this book does an even worse job of landing the style and is barely even trying. oh well.

i guess it's not fair that i'm asking this book to both have more complex intricate politics and be more about the stories shaherazade tells. though i think you could pull it off with a lot of tight seamless plotting - that's one of my issues here, that the book is kinda rambling and loosey-goosey. but i would settle for one or the other, if the politics were more complex and intricate or if the stories took more of a central role and had more thought put into them i would be happier. anyway despite all those words i am enjoying this book for all the reasons i said above, it's a solid 4 out of 5 stars for me, i just really like going in-depth on the criticism front so i thought i'd make a post recording my thoughts. if you read all this congrats and thank you

[kingofpolynya]

Burnout or love?

Tumblr looks different now, but I'm still the same. Still working in academia, doing phytoplankton stuff, but not in Japan. I move back to the UK in December 2021 after getting offered a postdoc in Liverpool. Hopefully in January, I'll start my permanent job at the National Oceanography Centre - as a marine biogeochemical model developer. Funny how 11 years ago, I had my first interview to be an Oceanography student. Now I'm going to work there. Time flies..

Life in Japan was quite miserable. I cheated on my (now ex) boyfriend with a colleague. It was a short affair too, but he ended our relationship. I tried making new friends, but I feel sort of worthless that girls in Japan are all very skinny and very prim and proper. I stopped eating breakfast, which spiralled into not eating anything. I ran 5k every evening, and swam 3k 3x a week. I have never felt this pretty before, but everyone said I looked like a holocaust survivor. I still love my job, but I hated everyone (apart from my boss) there. So I need a way out, and I ended up applying for a postdoc with this famous professor, and thanks to divine intervention I got the post. My mother said I am allowed to move back to the UK if I got to normal BMI, so I tried. I even got myself a psychiatrist and a cocktail of mind altering drugs. I just cant stand being surrounded by skinny Japanese girl, so I tried my best. Eventually, I got back to normal bmi after 5 months, and I also got my (ex) boyfriend back, but not for long.

The first year in Liverpool was fun, I get to do 3D and very complex model with many state variables, and different nutrients and plankton component. People were impressed with what I have done, until I joined a cruise from the Falkland Islands back to Southampton in February 2022. It was a 6 week cruise. My (then) boyfriend wasnt keen on me joining the cruise but I enjoyed it a lot. I love the routine, and seeing different plankton swimming about, talking to different scientists, and do yoga almost every day. I have never felt like a scientist before. Almost every day I strive to do my best.

However, after the cruise, I feel like something snapped, and I cannot do science anymore. I feel like it's hard to go back to the normal routine of looking at model output and wondering what might be going on in 2100, under RCP8.5 scenario. My brain fried so hard I think I failed every task. My boss even snapped at me for not being able to ask the 'big picture question'. Perhaps I'm a bad scientist from the beginning and its just somehow lots of people have been carrying me around. I feel like everything is blank and bleak. Maybe I should quit science?

I started getting my 'consciousness' back a few months ago, and only started to grasp what is happening after repeatedly being told off by my boss (what a man with infinite patience). I am starting to grasp what I can do and slowly crawling back into the depths of hell. However, since I know my boss is not keen on me as a postdoc, I decided that I have to leave. So I apply for a different job, a permanent one, and a job where I, hopefully, does not need to ask big picture question. I like getting stuck in and do the coding, and plot my results so I can brainstorm with others to see what is wrong with plankton? Why are things happening like this? I suppose I will never be at my boss' calibre.

Now everyday feels like I'm just trying to survive. I'm starting to hate going to the office and make small talk. I used to enjoy swimming, now it feels like a chore. Eating or cooking isn't enjoyable anymore. Cakes taste stale. I am living on microwaved rice and instant noodles. I dont want to be too skinny again, because I have never swam this fast. The pills that kept me sane dont seem to do their job anymore. All I want is just lay in bed and not doing anything, and cry.

I initially thought that I am starting to lose my sanity because I met someone on the cruise, and fell in love. I split up with my (ex) boyfriend just before I stepped on to dry land, to be with this guy. It worked and fortunately he loves me to. He moved in not long after we finished the cruise. I have never been with someone I love, and maybe this whole 'my brain is broken' thing is because my brain chemistry is not in balance. But I dont know, with him around life do get a bit easier, but all i want to do is just joking around with him and go for long walks on the beach. I cant be bothered doing science anymore, or even just living in general. Have I been showing symptoms of burnout?

I hope my new relationship will last forever. I do hope that he can see me shine, and stays in love with me. I hope my new job will bring me a some happiness, and can make me shine brighter than before.

[veilchenjaeger]

I want to whine a little about the available wlw material. Why ist all so sickenlingly cute, sweet and hyperfeminine? I don't mind that it exists, but I want more options please. It's like going clothes shopping and once again being depressed that the only available colours are all pastels. Why do I have to wait for seasons until jewel tones are in again while thirty different shades of pink are always in stock. On that note, if anyone has recs more in the vein of the locked tomb etc, please giv

Cont. from the pastels ask, because the wordlimit in asks is my personal enemy. I just want my women deranged, dangerous and depraved. Honestly one of the reasons that I love genderswaps so much is that I want the same stories I love so much in fantasy/ scifi but with women. (Also probably because I want characterisation for women that is less in the hyperfeminine/tomboy divide). Recs please? I already read Priory of the Orange Tree. Messing with gender is a plus. Also warcrimes, swords an magic

GODS MOOD. I feel you so much on the genderswap thing, I don't think I'd be this into them if there were just more stories with character dynamics I love where the characters are already women. I want complex female characters who live through awesome space operas, who are allowed to be weak and nasty and fuck up, who are fully fledged people with everything that implies, who might fit into boxes coincidentally but aren't created to fit into them. Sadly, the easiest way to find that is by making some already beloved Blorbos into women sometimes.

Re.: the kind of wlw content available, I both have the same and the opposite problem. I also want deranged women who commit war crimes, which is so fucking rare, but I'm also femme4femme and... I feel like I often have the choice between fluffy pastel Soft Lesbians without depth or interesting stories on the one hand, and awesome stories with deranged women but without any characters I can truly relate to or am attracted to on the other hand. Like, part of that is probably me being unable to read or watch a lot of new things bc I'm burnt out to hell and back, but both wlw-focused fandom and the (few!) good wlw genre stories I've heard of or read seem to emphasise masculinity. (Either bc the main character is super attracted to "traditionally masculine" attributes of another female character or bc the main character herself is masc.) That's great bc butches and masc wlw get so little representation, but... I personally would like to see some fucked up femmes. Please. (Just like I'm bored of mainstream fashion a lot bc it's not pink and frilly enough!)

I think it boils down to there just not being enough wlw stuff of any kind, period, especially wlw stuff with interesting and dark stories.

Anyways, due to aforementioned burn-out, I don't have a lot of recs and you probably already know most of them, but!

PLEASE watch Couple of Mirrors. The whole thing is on YouTube. It's about a famous writer in Republican Era Shanghai, who gets dragged into a bunch of murder cases and involved with a retired assassin who's mostly failing to adjust to normal life. I'm very slowly making my way through this show and I love every second I manage to watch.

You've also probably heard of Please Don't Laugh's novels, but if you haven't, they have deranged women and gender fuckery. I have yet to read them, but I have it on good authority that they're awesome. Carrds for them are here and here.

Also, it's neither SciFi nor fantasy, but A League of Their Own (the show about a women's baseball team currently on Am*z*n Pr*me) is supposed to be really good and has several butch characters.

If anyone has more, I'd also love to put stuff on my endless To Consume list!

[flameontm]

BASICS

FULL NAME: jonathan lowell spencer storm; goes by johnny to most, john on occasion (but only to sue, reed, ben & wyatt wingfoot)  ALIAS: the human torch AGE: 23 AFFILIATIONS: fantastic four  GENDER AND PRONOUNS: cisgender, he/him FACE CLAIM: evan roderick

IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS POINT OF ORIGIN:  comics ( 616 verse )  ABILITIES/SKILLS: johnny has his plasma form, in which he transforms his entire body into fiery plasma; additionally he can use pyrokinesis to generate shapes and manipulate these flames into weapons, extending outside his body. he has the ability of flight, as well as fire immunity, cold resistance and thermokinesis. his most powerful form and rarely-used power is his nova flame – this is the highest, hottest level he can create, but he cannot maintain this for as long as his ordinary flame. it has around the power of a nuclear warhead detonation and he can use it in the form of a burst to devastate the area around him. extensive use of his powers typically exhausts and weakens him. HAVE THEY BROUGHT ANY FAMILY OR PETS WITH THEM: to be determined depending on other potential players, but for now i’m gonna say the whole fantastic family is here: sue, reed, ben, alicia, franklin and valeria. johnny isn’t grateful for much in this new world, but at least they’re all together. that’s all the fantastic four have ever needed for johnny to believe they can win.  ANY HEADCANONS YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW:

- the basics: despite his young age, johnny’s been in the superhero business a long time, having helped his sister, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s best friend steal a rocketship and head to the stars. their run-in with cosmic radiation changed them all into superpowered beings and they became their world’s first superhero team, with johnny still in high school.  

- inferiority complex, oh boy. the ff never had any secret identities, so johnny’s life changed overnight when he became the human torch. one day he was a lonely teenager, with no friends, no parents, and no potential. the next, he was famous, a superhero, a teen icon and sensation. he loved his powers, loved the attention, loved being famous,  all things he’d wanted for so long that, at first, he didn’t really care why he was finally getting them. but it didn’t take long for johnny to realise without the powers, he’d still be nothing. especially given that it’s always been obvious he’s the weakest of the four, the liability, the one that causes the team as much trouble as he actually helps. they’re all so much smarter than him, so much stronger, more selfless, worth more, and johnny knows it. that’s part of the reason why he always likes being in the center or a crowd, is always hungry for more fame and attention. it’s the validation he craves.

- despite his reputation as a player, in reality, johnny’s far from it. he’s definitely not career minded and the only real consistent ambition he’s had in life is to be in love, be in a relationship, get married, have a family. it’s just... never worked out like that in reality. but he’s almost always strictly in committed monogamous relationships, with a tendency to fall hard & fast and get hit hard by a breakup. when he’s brokenhearted tends to be the only time he goes for hookups, since it makes johnny feel better about himself again to be wanted, even if it’s only physical. his reputation in the media is something he plays into, however, and he has a tendency to flirt and to make up stories about far more experience than he’s actually had.

QUESTIONNAIRE

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT EMPEROR DOOM? 

look, it’s complicated. the fantastic four have known victor von doom a long time - they’ve been fierce enemies, uneasy allies, and weird pseudo-family. there was that one time they deposed victor from the throne of latveria and also that one time they helped him get it back, mostly just because he asked. and like, fair’s fair. he did eliminate hunger. it’s complicated. but johnny also wouldn’t trust him further than he could throw him. he knows victor hasn’t supposedly saved them all out of the goodness of his heart, and it burns knowing that they’re living in doom’s world now, that he won. the tight watch he keeps over the baxter building is infuriating, suffocating, humiliating. and there’s always been only so long johnny can control himself before he explodes. 

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THE BATTLES? ARE THEY TRYING TO AVOID THEM? OR ARE THEY EAGER TO JUMP IN?

johnny is pretty sickened by the whole concept. he’s a hot-head who tends to rush into a fight, but he’s never really liked the actual action of fighting and has worked hard for a long time to gain the control over his powers that he has today. their destructive nature has always bothered him, and he’s mastered using an offensive power for defensive purposes above all. the last thing he’d ever want to do is partake in unnecessary fighting and risk burning someone, always his greatest fear. while johnny is often careless and thoughtless about almost everything else, his powers are the one thing he is always, always in control of, and one large reason for his playing along with doom’s rules is that he fears being forced into the battles as a punishment. 

WHY HAS YOUR CHARACTER ACCEPTED THEIR JOB POSITION? WILL THEY USE IT TO GET CLOSER TO DOOM? OR WILL THEY USE IT EXPLOIT HIM? OR DO THEY SIMPLY LIKE THEIR JOB?

johnny is back in college again. does he like it? definitely not. is he determined to finally stick with it this time, attempt number he’s-lost-track? yes. but it’s not easy. he’s never been much for school, and has dropped out of college in the past in favor of different things - cosmic adventures, saving the day, going all in on a relationship or just because he couldn’t hack it. it’s something of an insecurity - he knows he’s seen as the dumb one of the group, he knows he actually is the dumb one and being at college really doesn’t help, because everyone seems to be doing so much better than he is. but he definitely needs the distraction or else he’s likely to do something stupid, like go after doom alone, and get himself sent to the deadlands. he has zero plans against doom at the moment - but johnny never really has any plans. he’s all emotion, all impulse, and at any moment he could decide to do something drastic. that’s just how he is.