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leaughrilke · 8 years

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how do the kiddos/Lena and kara react to the bad relationship Maia is in?

like..........not well. like they react v well for her, in that they’re supportive and caring and do all the right stuff but it also tears them apart

not as in the family is torn apart, like they still are v much a family and v much a unit, but it rips kara and lena apart and it eats at finn and stella bc they all feel like they could have done more?? noticed before it got so bad, been more present

but basically maia is feeling v overlooked and forgotten abt, like classic middle child where she feels like stella’s the baby and finn’s the prodigal son and she’s just.......there?? like she feels like she’s the Angry One or whatever, not anything to be proud of. but she’s not one to ever be forthright with her feelings?? like fuck that, she’s going to bottle that shit up so you never know the real reason for her getting upset. so she’s feeling weird with her family, right?? and she’s in kind of a vulnerable place bc of it, always feeling like the black sheep, always feeling like a bit of a burden and high school is weird and everything is Weird, thats like the best way to put it. maia’s in a state of flux, where she’s not the kiddo that anyone is expecting to go into the superhero business but she’s the one that desperately wants to (like stella will want to later, but rn?? its all maia) but no one acknowledges it bc she never says it

a lot of her problems are rooted in miscommunication tbh like she’ll just........not say anything but be like stewing over it for months ya feel?

so she’s feeling Weird and starts acting out a little, starts letting her grades drop and starts missing curfew and like that sort of puts a bit of a wedge between her and her family, bc her moms are like?? where is this coming from?? and her siblings are trying to talk to her but maia’s started looking at the world like it’s me vs everyone else so she shuts them out, refuses to talk to them abt anything important. so there’s this distance btwn her and the rest of the family, this uncomfortable tension btwn her and her moms and it only feeds into this Weirdness more, leads maia to make more Bad decisions like cutting class to hang out more with these kids she met at the skate park over the summer and its rlly nice?? like she feels heard, feels validated and like her friends from school are nice, are rlly good, but they sort of are like?? it sucks you feel bad but your moms do love you?? talk to them abt this maybe?? and maia’s like lol no, just spends more time with the ppl that are validating her feelings, not asking her to analyze anything, just letting her be

and she has rlly intense chemistry with this one boy in the group?? like its immediate and maia’s dated a little bit but she’s p intense, scares ppl off p often but this boy isnt intimidated, seems to see right through her, seems to see that she’s angry bc she’s scared of a lot, that she’s not as hard and sharp as she acts

and he likes her and she likes him so they get together and maia feels so normal?? like for a hot second she just feels like a regular kid and its so addictive that feeling, she’s not willing to give it up. and her bf is so sweet at first, texts her a couple times a day and calls her after school and brings her snacks when they meet up at the park

i’m putting this under the cut bc the subject matter can be v triggering, pls check the tags and pls pls pls dont read this if any of the warnings apply to you. be safe, i love you

and then, bc it starts so calmly, so carefully, she doesnt rlly worry when it starts to change, when he starts telling her that she’s exhausting, that her negativity is killing him. like?? she already thinks that abt herself, knows she’s intense and moody and angry more often than she’s not, knows she’s a lot to handle, already thinks she’s too Much. so she changes a little, stops venting to him, starts bottling it up again. then its him blaming her for arguments they have, so she tries hard to not start any. then its demanding that she text him back immediately, even when he’s texting her hundreds of times in a day, so she starts keeping her phone on her at all times. then its this, then its that and through it all, maia’s getting a little smaller, a little quieter, a little Less. she’s trying to fit herself into the box he’s drawing around her and she’s not happy with it but she loves him, right?? and he loves her?? he’s the only one that rlly understands her, he’s the only one that rlly cares how she’s feeling, even if sometimes he’s too upset with his own stuff to listen to her, even if sometimes he makes fun of her in front of their friends even when she tells him it makes her uncomfortable

and she hides this all from her moms for a long time, makes up excuses for why she’s missing family dinners and movie nights, says she’s just stressed, just tired. she avoids finn bc he’s always known her tells, avoids stella bc her little sister can literally see into ppl’s minds and she doesnt know why, but she doesnt want ppl to know abt her relationship. she avoids lena bc lena’s got this knack for figuring out when her kids are keeping secrets, avoids kara bc kara believes so wholeheartedly in her that it makes her feel set on edge. she keeps skipping school until it becomes a Problem, until the school calls her moms but they’re both in the middle of something, miss the call, so they call Emergency Contact #1 aka alex and alex is like ??? wtf like maia’s a bit of a hothead sometimes but she’s not reckless necessarily, especially when it comes to school, so she goes to campus, sees maia’s car and is like mmmmmm this is Wrong. so when maia comes back at the end of the day, alex is sitting on the hood of her car and is like hey. we’re going to talk.

and maia’s like.......rlly sensitive?? like somewhere deep down, she knows there’s something off about the situation, that’s why she’s so desperate to hide it, but she’s not like conscious of it, she just gets rlly defensive, gets rlly prickly, and she’s not great at hiding it when she’s displeased or upset but its so muted when alex confronts her and that, in of itself, is a giant fucking red flag bc maia should like?? be arguing, getting irritated like maia weirdly takes after alex in a lot of respects and alex Knows something’s wrong. so she kind of drops it bc maia’s just giving her this look like she’s begging her not to press too hard

like obviously alex doesnt Drop It, she just backs off maia directly for a bit, goes over her head to kara and lena and they’re like SHIT this makes a lot of things make sense and its like, ok, we can handle this

FALSE

maia reacts v badly when her moms sit her down to like.....gently ask what the fuck is happening. like there’s a lot sort of just simmering below the surface, like her bf has been rlly difficult recently and she’s stressed abt that and she’s angry that alex found out, that alex told her moms, she’s angry that she’s getting called on it, that it feels like the only time she gets attention is when she’s fucked up, and it all comes to a head during this one moment. like. it’s the worst fight any of the kiddos have ever had with their moms. like maia’s full out screaming at them and they’re just completely caught off guard bc there’s usually some lead up?? something that builds to a meltdown but nope, not this time, she goes zero to one hundred in a blink and stella and finn are just like hunkered down upstairs, staring at each other like HOLY SHIT maia never yells at moms like that

like its awful, terrible but it kind of makes things better for a while?? like maia screams it all out, her anger, her feeling of being left out, how hurt she feels sometimes, all the things that she’s never let her moms know and then its kind of like. oh. its over now.

and things get a little better after that?? maia takes the inevitable grounding with no argument, but that is like......Another Problem. like maia without any fight?? with no indignant anger??? that’s a maia that none of them have ever encountered and it sets everyone on edge, how quiet maia is, how small she makes herself. but there’s no like?? cause as far as anyone but maia can see. so her moms are a bit more careful with her, her siblings are a little more gentle, kara and lena go out of their way to arrange things to do with maia on her own, to make sure she feels seen and included but by this point, her boyfriend’s been filling her head with really toxic shit, feeding into her venting and solidifying the idea that she’s less than her siblings in someway, so even their best efforts are shrugged off. maia has a million excuses prepped and ready for why she can’t make it to the planetarium with lena, why she has to miss stella’s soccer game, why she turns kara down when she offers to go flying, just the two of them. she’s become a great liar, really, was always a little clumsy with out and out lies when she was a child but now she’s almost as good as stella

speaking of stella. she sees him first. in maia’s mind, when she finally shows up to family game night and finn shouts a little bc they’re playing monopoly and maggie just bought the property he wanted and maia doesnt so much flinch as she does freeze for one, nearly imperceptible moment and stella sees this face, this boy in maia’s mind but he’s smiling?? and she brushes it off at the moment, but it nags at her for a while until she’s asked maia to help braid her hair for her seventh grade dance and they’re up in maia’s room, out of lena’s hearing and kara’s out on a supergirl mission so stella sort of asks are you dating anyone? and there’s that freeze again, that moment and stella feels the dilemma as maia navigates it, as she decides if she should lie when stella will definitely be able to tell, and then finally maia says kind of quietly yeah, i am and then stella’s asking for details, when’d they meet, does he go to school with maia, when is she going to introduce him to the family and maia just shuts her down. switches subjects in a manner that is v final and stella’s not going to push, she’s never been one to push

but now maia’s thinking about it and there’s no way stella’s going to be able to keep this a secret from their moms for very long, so she bites the bullet, tells them in a v blunt way

quite literally walks into the kitchen one morning and is like hey. im dating someone and then just runs out the room before anyone can say anything else

so obviously kara and lena are like ??? ok!! we wanna meet them!! invite them over for dinner!! and maia’s like SHIT i didnt think this through but she cant tell them no straight out without them being like why, whats going on, so she says she’ll invite him and so she mentions it to her bf the next time she sees him and he’s like Upset and Hurt that she wants to burst their little bubble, but he “loves her enough to meet her family” (said with a sigh and a glare that has maia shrinking, apologizing)

so he comes round for dinner and stella’s the one that gets to the door before maia, that pulls it open to meet her sister’s mystery man and she immediately gets a bad vibe from him. like straight off the bat, she looks him up and down and is like No but then maia’s pushing her to the side and pulling him into the house and stella’s just sort of standing there like This is Wrong, I Dont Like This, just trails them after a moment, follows them into the kitchen where everyone’s doing the whole meet n greet thing, the Boyfriend is presenting the flowers he brought and keeping one hand around maia’s waist and he’s shaking hands with finn and smiling all wide and bright and smug, as if he’s already won something and all stella can hear from maia is please like him please like him please like him which wouldn’t be super weird??? but there’s this intense desperation behind it that sets stella on edge

so when she gets the chance, when finn’s chatting with maia and her bf, stella pulls her moms into the kitchen and tells them what she feels, that something is Wrong. and like??? she doesnt have the words for it bc she’s thirteen and hasn’t ever really been exposed to anything like this, but she knows this guy is a bad dude and she says as much and kara and lena are like shit okay our empath/mind reader of a daughter is getting Bad Vibes, we should keep an eye on him, so they do the entire night and its like. there arent any red flags or anything, isnt any bad behavior, but maia is too tense and this dude is too smooth and they’ve both??? been through this??? can see the subtle signs?? can see the way maia freezes a little when this boy puts his arm around her, the way she keeps watching him out of the corner of her eye, how she’ll switch subjects if there’s even the slightest change in his expression like.........maia’s never been a jumpy person, has always been sure footed and confident since she was very little, and kara’s got kill bill sirens going in her head and lena’s got this sick feeling in her stomach, stella’s sitting next to maia and refusing to move, glaring at her boyfriend whenever he’s looking a different direction and finn, godbless him, is looking from his moms to stella to maia sitting so stiffly on the couch, looking entirely uncomfortable in her home, in her own space and he catches stella’s eye, raises one eyebrow and then all he gets in like the in-mind version of all caps is stella just yelling BAD VIBE over and over again

so the night is tense to say the least and stella insists on maia sitting next to her at dinner, leaving her boyfriend sandwiched between finn and lena who both have like.........impressive death glares and maia’s getting more and more agitated, like pushing for the meal to wrap up quickly and it finally does, after her moms grilling this guy to get like a better grasp on the type of awful he is and maia’s like saying she’ll walk him out and kara and lena are both like we’ll come with you and maia’s like No but her bf just squeezes her shoulder and is like nah, it’s fine with this smarmy smile and stella’s still glaring but now finn’s glaring too

so he leaves finally and he reels maia in for a kiss that she v obviously is uncomfortable with so kara like straightens to her full height, crosses her arms and tells him she’s sure he needs to be home and he must sense somethings changed bc then he like just stops putting on a smile for kara and lena, turns fully to maia and tells her to call him tonight and maia sort of nods quickly, seems intent on just getting him to leave, get out of her mother’s view

as soon as he drives away, maia’s like speed walking to the house and trying to run up the stairs, to her phone, but kara kind of catches her hand and is like hey. we need to talk about something. and maia’s like ?? can it wait, i need to text him and stella’s like um he just left, which is when lena shoos the other kiddos out of the house, handing finn some cash and telling him to take stella to get ice cream. so then its just them and maia and maia’s fidgety, wont keep eye contact for very long and kara mentions that, mentions how maia’s changed over the last few months and lena’s saying that they’re worried for her, about her, worried that maybe this boy isn’t healthy for her and maia’s like what do you guys know, he loves me and then lena's explaining darling i've been there, i know what you're feeling, but this isn't love and you deserve better and kara’s thinking about that one time maia came home with a bruise (thanks to the supplement, she can bruise) and she said she got it in gym but now kara’s wondering and they’re being v gentle, asking if she’s happy, asking if he’s kind to her and maia so desperately knows they’re right on some level but that’s buried v deep down and she doesnt want to have to drag it to the surface so she just........flips out

like screams and cries and leaves, storms out and flies away before the conversation can get too far, just yells that she cant believe theyre trying to ruin the one good thing in her life trying to take away the one person that actually give a shit about her

and she flies to meet up with bf at his place and is telling him about their fight and he's like yeah your moms are fucked up, we're in love obviously, they just dont want to see you happy, they like your brother and sister more like all this really toxic shit that he's been feeding her for months, slowly poisoning her against her family and friends

but now she's got this seed of doubt at the back of her head like wait my mothers were really great when i was a kid, did they really change?

is this love or was i just happy for attention?

my moms always tell us that no matter what we do, as long as we're happy and safe they'll support it and they've never proven that wrong right?

so she's having a crisis and he's like pushing to have sex (it's not their first time, and it's not the first time he's had to convince her) and maia's like wait no i need a minute let me riddle this thing out

and he's getting like majorly pouty and upset like right, pick them over me, leave me just like everyone else and maia's staring at him like what the fuck and so she says as much, says that her moms do love her and he’s like ?? really maia? and it goes from there, turns into an argument and he’s saying some really awful things to her

and he’s in the middle of telling her that she’s nothing, that she should be grateful he’s wasting his energy and time trying to fix her when kara breaks the door and says flatly whoops and lena marches in and essentially tells this guy to fuck off (actually she quite literally tells him to fuck off, how dare you speak to my daughter like that) as she wraps an arm around maia and guides her out and maia’s sort of shellshocked?? like shit. shit holy shit

she just like. breaks down in the car. like the moment lena’s pulled the door closed behind them, maia’s just falling apart in a way that lena’s never seen her, like shaking and rocking and full body sobs and kara’s still inside the boys house, having a Talk but then she hears maia’s crying and is just like. you’re garbage, we’re going to ruin your life before she leaves

maia cries most of the night. like suddenly everything bad that’s been happening is at the forefront of her mind but her self esteem is so shattered, she’s just blaming herself. she has like?? three panic attacks and her moms stay with her through it all, keeping her tucked between them, petting her hair and telling her that none of this is her fault, that they’re sorry for not seeing what was happening. when finn and stella come back, they follow the sound of sobbing up to their moms room, drop everything to join the cuddle pile that’s happening. stella tucks herself right next to maia, takes her hands and as much of her pain as she can, tries to give her as much peace as she can. and finn’s never been so close to violence in his life, feels an itch in his fists that is entirely unfamiliar, finds himself struggling to be in the same room with maia bc she’s his little sister??? he’s supposed to keep her safe, you know??

it’s a hard night. it is. maia cant sleep, just keeps crying, keeps sobbing out that he’s good, he is, it’s her fault, so no one sleeps that night, they all stay up and try and find something, anything to make it better for her

and thankfully it’s just nearly break, so kara calls their schools, says there’s been a family emergency and the kids wont be in for the last couple days of term, calls works and says much the same for her, and lena calls in to request all meetings be postponed until further notice, to take a leave of absence. stella won’t leave maia’s side even when the bags under stella’s eyes get too deep, when it becomes clear this is taking too much of a toll on her to keep acting as a sponge for maia’s turmoil, for her pain. maia’s her big sister and they fight a lot but she knows all the shit maia’s done for her, loves her sister enough to bear some of the burden.

lena finds the number for her old therapist, the one she saw when she finally realized her first relationship had been emotionally abusive. they’ve retired, but they recommend someone for maia. kara v quietly lets alex and maggie know whats going on, grabs alex’s hand when she breaks and god, alex feels so guilty, feels like she should have known, seen it, done more. they dont tell anyone else, decide to leave it up to maia if she wants to give out specifics to anyone else in the family, but they do tell the rest of the superfriends that maia’s going through something right now

and through these awful first weeks, maia’s ex keeps calling her, texting her and she always reaches for the phone, so finally finn takes it when she’s napping, goes to the deo and asks winn to reroute incoming calls from this number to go through his phone first. he starts picking up the calls, switches off with stella to threaten the guy, tell him in no uncertain terms that he’s never coming near their sister again

and maia’s?? not handling well. she’s doing as well as can be expected, i guess, but there are some days where she’s okay-ish and can be logical and removed enough to acknowledge that there were unhealthy dynamics (she wont call it abuse, refuses the term for now), but most days she cycles between sobbing and saying she loves him, misses him, wondering if he’s okay without her and other times she’s angry and tells everyone that its their fault he’s ignoring her now

the therapy helps?? it helps a lot actually, not only with this but with her anger issues and other stuff too. it also helps repair her relationship with her moms, who are honestly so so steadfast in their support like kara or lena always pick her up after therapy bc she’s always a little raw afterwards, shouldnt rlly be alone, and one time its kara and maia walks out, gets into the car and says rlly abruptly that her therapist thinks she should do group sessions with her moms separately and kara doesnt even hesitate, she’s just like yes okay what day what time, i’ll text lena to let her know her session

it takes like a Long time for maia to feel even a tenth like her old self. like a Loooooong time. but she eventually does and that’s mostly due to how good her moms and siblings are in the aftermath. like kara and lena both have been where she’s been so they know what to say, how to say, what not to do and they’re so careful to walk this delicate tightrope where they make it clear that this guy was bad for maia but also acknowledging that she was in love with him, that she was v invested in this relationship

and when they go back to school, there’s some rumors bc its high school, but finn sort of fills in maia’s friends a little and they step the fuck up, circle around her and protect her as fiercely as she’s always protected them and finn runs interference whenever it looks like someone might give her shit for the way her ex has mysteriously been stripped of his scholarship to his school, or how his sat cheating scheme was somehow uncovered (*finger guns* uncle winn to the rescue)

stella’s room shares a wall with maia’s; their beds line up with the other bc when they were younger, they used to tap morse code to one another. maia, even as she grew older, never bothered to move it, so stella’s in close proximity to maia every night, close enough that any strong emotion maia feels is enough to wake her up, so whenever maia’s having a crying jag and cant get out of bed to get kara or lena, its stella that comes to her, crawls up beside her v carefully and presses all the softness, all the warmth and peace she carries inside her to maia, tries to give her as much of a break as she can manage, just enough for maia to sleep

it fucks them all up for a rlly long time. like. a Rlly long time. maia has to work through everything she’s been through, has to slowly relearn herself, build up her belief in herself and trust in others. her family has to process the guilt they carry, the grief for all the pain maia’s gone through. its hard, but they love each other and they come through it together, bruised but intact, still whole, still a family

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red-catmander · 4 years

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Loreposting: Romantic Relationships In Charr Society

So there aren’t many instances of this being directly addressed and I’m mainly working from examples and wider implication so this is very much a ‘pointing at the corkboard and red string, raving wildly’ sort of post. Still, I hope it’s of some use. Or at least entertaining!

Every culture has a distinct undercurrent that colours all they do. A kind of vibe to them. The sylvari, being a very young, new race, have their optimism and curiosity. The asura, their drive to discover and innovate. Humans, a kind of dogged determination to stick around. Norn, glory and sharing in it.

Charr have their industry and their unrelenting fatalism. Promotion? You’re going to be shot and killed. New hobby? That’s great! You’re going to be shot and killed. Warband died? Horrible! You’re now a non-citizen until you find a new one and also you’re going to be shot and killed. Love? You’re going to be shot and killed. New baby? Enjoy the time you have before they’re sent away to be raised and shot and killed.

If you’re alive long enough the people around you will start leaving subtle hints. You’re getting on in years. Have you considered being shot and killed?

Of course, romantic relationships vary depending on the individual person, circumstances, preferences and so on, so this post isn’t to say every charr is like this, but I feel like it would be fair to say most High Legion charr are at least influenced in some capacity. There’s a part of Ghosts of Ascalon, the prequel book with Ember Doomforge (love u queen) where she lays out how things work pretty bluntly.

Dougal looked at Ember’s shadowed form in the darkness... “Human relationships are hard to explain to other races.” Ember snorted, “Oh, I understand. Charr relationships have all that stage drama as well. We on occasion mate for life, though our relationships are usually more casual, and we have more than our share of jealousies, rivalries, expectations and disappointments. Lovers come together, break apart, and come together years later.”

So, two things stick out to me here. One, well, they’re gigantic roman cats. I cannot imagine monogamy is particularly high on the list of priorities and having children with several different people seems to be the norm. Of note, in the season 4 short story Requiem: Rytlock , he mentions having cubs, plural, but he and Crecia only ever mention Ryland. Either they’re so wrapped up in what’s going on around him (which, you know, that’s fair) that they never talk about their other children or, in my opinion, Rytlock has children with other women. I lean towards that because Crecia lays into Rytlock over not being there for Ryland, not ‘our cubs’ or ‘our kids’. And, if that is the case, that it’s not brought up implies that it’s just the done thing for charr. Crecia may have children to other men, we don’t know.

So then comes the question; how much of their behaviour is intrinsic and how much comes from the society around them? High Legion charr have the fahrar system and Flame Legion have family units but they can’t be considered good examples because they live under a regime where that’s enforced. The Olmakhan, however, make a great barometer, especially since they fled and made conscious, considered choices about what parts of their culture to keep and what to discard. This manifests in abolishing the warband system and lifting the taboo on magic while notably keeping family units from the Flame Legion. Family isn’t the topic of this post, that’s for another day, but I think it’s worth bringing up because the deeper you dig into how the High Legions operate the more you realize its children really, truly aren’t well.

So that brings us to the people itself. From a young age, charr are nursed up until they’re weaned at which point they’re placed in a fahrar where physical and emotional abuse is at best tolerated and at worst expected. It speaks to the kind of pragmatic, routine cruelty of the Legions. It saves on resources. A cub already has free food.

They’re placed with warbands. The warbands, inevitably, die. New warbands are found. They die also. It’s treated with a kind of casual ‘eh, what can you do’ shrug and if you do dare commit the cardinal sin of being unable to get over your family dying you’re relegated to the lowest rungs of society, gladia doing the dirty work the real soldiers don’t do. That kind of pressure is catastrophic.

In my opinion, left to their own devices, charr generally raise their children in family units but frequently engage in consensual non-monogamy.

I wonder, then, if Ember’s comments about lovers coming together, breaking apart and coming together again, having fraught, frantic, combative relationships that burn out quickly isn’t something inherent to the charr. They aren’t born like that. They don’t even want to be like that.

But in the thousand-ton gears of the war machine they don’t know how to be anything but.

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #charr #crecia stoneglow #rytlock brimstone #analysis #ryland steelcatcher #thinkin' about #had this one kickin around in the archives for a while... i think it's interesting!#charr are my favourites not because they are big cool cats... well no that is a reason. but because. they are. hot MESSES #feel free to suggest topics! i love doing this sort of thing #discussions of abuse cw #always here for charr figuring out 'oh fucking whoops my life is nightmarish'#of note: that one dredge npc who calls your homeland a hellish nightmare... and you can AGREE with him #truly IMMENSE season 4 spoilies #Ember Doomforge #season 5 really is 'let's give this bitch everything she wants'

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jimkirkachu · 4 years

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Hi, I hope you're doing as well as someone can in these trying times! A question, if you have some time to kill: what advice would give to someone who wants to publish a fic on AO3 for the first time? Thank you and hold on!

Oh wow, I'm humbled to be asked such a question! I'm no, uh, expert or anything; just to be sure nobody's under any false pretenses, I've only been posting on AO3 since 2018 and only have about 20 fics to my name. But one of the most helpful things I was told before I'd ever posted anything was:

Fanfiction is for you, the writer. Write what you want to write, what you're passionate about, what you want to see happening in whatever fandom universe you're into. You're writing for free, using your talent, your creativity, and your time on worlds and characters you love, so don't let anyone demand more from you, or something different from you. Your stories should never be about the number of likes, kudos, comments, bookmarks, or reblogs you get (side note: you can hide statistics on your personal AO3 dashboard if, like me, you obsess over them and it harms your mental health, so let me know and I'll get the info from my friend again [since it's a little complex and I definitely don't remember all the steps, lol 😅]). Write whatever you feel compelled to write because it feeds your soul. Feeding other people's souls is not your responsibility. You are here (or on the Archive) to serve your own needs and desires, and nobody else's.

I would add that, as always, it is so valuable and so important to be thankful and respectful toward any and all readers/commenters! Your work represents your valuable personal time and effort, and just as no one is obligated to write fic, no one is obligated to read it either--so remember that your fans are also generously giving of their time by reading your work and (hopefully) leaving nice comments. 😊🥰📚✏💜

I guess... as in life, it's important not to take anything for granted in the fic-writing game, not to assume you're entitled to a certain number or percentage of kudos or reblogs. Humility and gratitude are so helpful! If you go into it assuming you're the only person in the world who will like your work, every single kudo, reader, comment, and bookmark is a bonus, a victory, an artifact of appreciation and togetherness! (It always helps me to remember that every kudo has a human being behind it, which is sort of like making a new friend even if you never meet or converse! ☺)

It's easy with fic and in fandom to get overwhelmed or discouraged, particularly when comparing your stats/interactions with others (same as any social media, really), and the advice to "never compare yourself to other people" is meant well but is also not very... practicable. Be sure to keep an eye on your emotional barometer (which gets easier over time as you learn how certain aspects of writing/fandom affect you): step away from it if you need a break, talk about your concerns with a fandom buddy (my dms are always open if you need a backup!), and please don't be afraid to ask for help. Just always remember that you are allowed to be here, you're here for you, and you are in charge of your experience as a writer. If you feel uncomfortable posting something, sleep on it for a day, a week, a year, however long you need to change your mind or edit it to your liking or officially leave it behind. If somebody trolls or abuses you, block them. We're all here for different reasons, but most of us are here for fun and for the love of our fandom(s). As long as writing and posting your stories brings you joy, have at it!

Sorry for the wall of text!! I hope at least some of that is useful in some way, and that I haven't done anything to discourage you. 😳 If anyone still reading has other/better advice, other relevant thoughts to add, etc. please pitch in! 🚀😃🎉✏👍

I wish you all the best in writing, in posting, and in that "real life" thing!! I hope you're able to get/stay happy, healthy, true to yourself, and in love with your fandom faves! 🥰💪🏆💖💜💙💚💛🧡❤ Thanks for the question, and LLAP! 🖖

#ask #anon ask #thanks for the ask!#ship's intercom #writing #writer's life #ao3 #fanfiction help #fanfiction advice #not trek #just my two cents #you can do it!#please jump in if you have anything to add!#fanfic writing #fic writers #tldr it's about finding what brings love and joy to your soul! 😇

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irhinoceri · 4 years

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I read “I Am The Messenger” by Markus Zusak several years ago, sometime between 2002 and 2005 (because I know it wasn’t brand new when I read it but I’m pretty sure “The Book Thief” hadn’t been published yet) and at the time I loved the book. I thought it was amazing. I vaguely remember thinking the ending was a bit anticlimactic, that the resolution to the mystery of who was sending the cards felt unsatisfying, but I loved the rest of the book so much I felt like hardly mattered.

Well... gosh.... hmmmm. I have very complicated feelings now, because I listened to the audiobook, and though the narrator being Australian really gave it that perfect voice that I wasn’t able to achieve in my head when I first read it, it was a slog. I thought about turning it off several times because I just couldn’t.... stand.... it.

And it’s making me think again about The Literary Discourse posts about whether a story is good or bad based on the moral conduct of the main character. And while Ed is certainly not the most unlikeable character ever, the really problematic aspects of both him as a protagonist and a POV character leapt out at me in 2021 the way they almost completely went past me in the early 00s. I was younger, I was far more conservative, so even reading books with swearing and sex and violence in them felt kind of revolutionary to me at the time, but still. I am trying to remember what it was that I liked about it.

Part of the problem is the textbook case of The Friendzone that runs throughout the book re: Ed being in love with Audrey who considers him her best friend and refuses to have a sexual relationship with him, though she comes to him for emotional intimacy and the sort of borderline sexual intimacy of being barely clothed around him, getting drunk and sleeping with him (platonically) all while maintaining vigorous sexual relationships with other boyfriends, who mostly go unnamed because they don’t matter.

In the end, of course, Audrey finally relents and comes to him and they get together, which feels hollow to me because a far more satisfying outcome would be for Ed to learn to move on and find someone else, or at least to let Audrey go (which he ostensibly does, but then he is “rewarded” for letting her go by her finally being willing to start a sexual relationship with him). And I’m just going.... why can’t he let her go and that’s it? Why can’t it be that he lets go of the desire to have a relationship she is not willing to give, and it truly does free him? That is a wonderful feeling. I’ve been “in the friendzone” as a girl in love with guys who valued me as a friend but found me sexually unappealing, and never once did it turn out where they finally woke up one day to realize that the emotional connection we had was more important than the sexual chemistry they had with the girls they actually wanted to date. You know what feels like Growth? The point where you realize that you don’t actually Want to date that person anymore, and the point where you are free from the desire and the unrequited yearning.

I wish more stories with Friendzone plots had the guts to end the story that way. Even (or especially) in a case like this where she’s constantly telling him that he’s her best friend and the only person she loves and that’s why she’d can’t have a sexual relationship with him and coming to him at night for cuddling after she’s had E rated fic levels of sex with her “boyfriend” she doesn’t Love.... like jeezus I do feel bad for the guy in the Friendzone when the story is framed like that, you know? And this is probably how most incels think of themselves, as the long suffering Only True Gentleman who is Better than the Chad getting all the pussy (even while he’s overcome with lust whenever the Love Interest enters the scene and we have at least a few sentence describing her hips and legs and breasts).

Anyway, at this point this particular phenomenon has been debated, hashed out, disproven, what have you.... so to re-read a story where it’s so firmly romanticized and realize I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it the first time around it was an eye-opener. I was torn between disgust at the protagonist for his constant objectification of Audrey and disgust with him for allowing her to emotionally manipulate him for literal years while she fucked around and kept him her back pocket (thus the near perfect embodiment of the highly sexual yet unattainable friendzoner). I was never rooting for them to become a couple. I was always rooting for Ed to get over her or for her to leave him him alone.

The other thing that really got to me was how Ed was stalking literally everyone in the story, including a 15 year old girl whom he lusted after despite repeatedly saying he wasn’t a creep and he wasn’t doing it For Those Reasons.... but it was Okay because stalking people to help them was the point of the whole story.

(Quick plot beak down... after foiling a bank robbery, 19-year-old taxi driver (it was 2002 so he’s basically an Uber driver) Ed Kennedy starts getting playing cards with cryptic messages on them, in the form of addresses or clues to addresses, and when he goes and stalks the people who live there, he figures out some way they need help in their lives and helps them, thus growing in confidence as a person along the way.)

At the end he’s helped a lot of people and learned to be a better person, almost a la Bill Murray in Groundhog Day... and the only thing left is to find out who has been sending him the playing cards and orchestrating events all along. Without spoiling it, the answer is very unsatisfying and unclear. It’s almost a precursor to the narrator/character of Death in “The Book Thief” but far less defined and a bit more like “Stranger Than Fiction” in a boring way.

The other thing that kept driving my a little crazy was the fact that Ed was only 19. I felt like I was reading about a guy in his 30s. He just felt like such an Old and Jaded character, and granted some 19-year-olds have lived harder lives or whatever... but also he had his own apartment and full time job and a close knit circle of friends he met up with in person regularly... and yet it was hammered home again and again that he was a loser. A pathetic person who hadn’t accomplished anything in life and never would.

Granted, it was 2002 when this book was published. But a 19-year-old with their own apartment and job? In THIS economy? And THREE (3) IRL friends whom he gets together with on a regular basis??? Okay so he’s not having sex, big deal. This guy is a fucking success by any millennial barometer, though I suppose a 19-year-old in 2002 would be a Gen Xer?? Hmmmm no I turned 17 in 2002 and I’m a millennial so... whatever. Tangent.

Anyway, the whole book hinges on this idea that he’s a total loser and needs to learn to.... connect with people... and make a difference in the world.... and ok look I’m not saying he shouldn’t be aspiring to bigger things than being an Uber driver, but I have a 39 year old friend who is an Uber driver! And he’s a cool guy and a smart person and is valued by his friends! It’s Okay! To have! A service job! And also he’s going back to school and trying to get his life back on track and all, which is good, and I’m not saying Ed shouldn’t do the same thing or whatever. But I don’t know, this story just feels so much more like it would hit harder if the protagonist was in his mid 30s instead of 19. I just felt like telling everyone, the author included, to chill the fuck out and lay off Ed for not being the fucking poet laureate of Australia (is that a thing?) or surgeon general at 19 years old, a year after his alcoholic father died. I will say it again: JEEZUS.

Also also there’s a pretty disturbing rape plot where Ed must save a woman from her rapist husband, and I’m not gonna say that much about it beyond the fact that hopefully we, as a society, can progress past rape plots that revolve around an outside male observer. I mean, good on anyone who tries to help someone who is currently trapped in a domestic abuse situation, but the particular way that plot was handled in this story was just all kinds of gross and it gets even worse in retrospect at the end.

This post is not meant as literary criticism. I have an English degree and I know that this post would not hold up as a paper by any stretch of the imagination, it would get an F as a work of literary criticism, this is just me thinking about how I feel now versus how I felt nearly 20 years ago when I loved this book.

#word vomit rambling #personal thoughts

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malicious-fisheeves · 4 years

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Anyway here’s the dumb fandom shit manifesto but here’s the whole thing under the read more

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WKjpOTU7D-JkiXD1gqYNJcjzGI691WXWRj4CJ3mI5UU/edit?usp=sharing

Honestly this is for myself personally, everyone has their own barometer, but I hate all of you and will hit you with my tonka truck

It’s incredibly telling that most of the people who proudly call themselves “anti antis” and “problematic” don’t see this as a serious issue. They’re more concerned with their right to jack off than having--not even compassion, just basic decency, for children / abuse survivors in fan spaces. Harassment campaigns against minors who are rightfully uncomfortable with how ‘big’ artists and other fan content creators interact with them are incredibly common, and it’s incredibly ironic to hear these same people bemoaning how their right to free speech is being taken away, or how “antis should care more about real people” -- people against pedophilia and incest shipping do care about real people of course. For example, real children who are hurt in real life when people create grooming content for real pedophiles, or abuse survivors trying to navigate their own road to recovery who are barraged with content that makes them relive their trauma (especially in the case of vocal survivors, who are often specifically harassed with content meant to trigger them). It’s also laughable that these people are always talking about how they “properly tag” their works so that it can be avoided, all the while continuing to follow creators who specifically outline their discomfort with these “anti antis” and say they don’t want to be followed by or interact with them. These people have no regard for other people’s boundaries. There’s also the hilarious (/s) instances of these people proclaiming their therapists think that them making child porn is just fine. Most often, these incidents are either blatant lies from “fandom therapists” (who quickly accumulate clout and then ~mysteriously~ disappear to side blogs once they’ve stroked enough people’s wounded egos.) While there are some forms of treatments that do involve creating art or writing about your own personal experience so you can work through the complicated emotions that come from being a victim of abuse, these are supposed to be in tightly monitored situations, not posted to widely used social media and fan works sites where that material can be used by groomers. Your 50 yr old therapist, Kelly, doesn’t know what AO3 is, and even if she did, who’s to say she’s right in the first place? Adjacent to this argument is one from legality, which already sets off a million red flags for anyone who’s discussed real-life instances of abuse where it was ‘alright’ because a predator waited until their victim was of age. Legal? Yes, maybe, but morally justifiable? No. Of course, this itself will ring their incessant whinging about how “fiction =/= morality.” Yes, of course, the things we create do not necessarily reflect our own morals on principle alone. However, writing dark subject matters requires a clarity of purpose--if you’ve ever been on the side that representation is important, because it influences how we think about certain groups of people or subject matter (like war), then you understand this principle already. There are certain ways of portraying these things that have a real impact on how a reader interprets them. Yes, violent video games don’t make people violent, but they can make war seem much more palatable, or make the enemy less human. The torture porn in many horror films in the 70s/80s wouldn’t have made men more violent towards women, but it did contribute to larger misogynistic ideas about women(this doesn’t even touch upon the sub genre of trans horror, which of course does have real effects on how trans people, mainly trans women, are viewed, and contributes to violence against them).

This argument that “fiction =/= reality” really misses the forest for the trees when it comes to these discussions, quite frankly, because it’s rarely about “you read incest porn, you are therefore going to commit incest” and moreso about the wider impacts that the masses of fan works aggregated onto websites as opposed to you, personally, being ~*problematic*~. Quite frankly, I would probably be less vocal and less ~mean~ about it if people I knew, and myself included, weren’t put on the end of harassment campaigns, made fake callouts for, or lied to by people I thought I was at least on good terms with. When fans perpetuate racist stereotypes--making black and latine characters hypersexual aggressive or borderline (or, yknow, just actual) rapists to their petite white ‘romantic’ interests, or making asian characters submissive waifs and abuse victims--it has a real effect on how people of color interact with fan works. If you want to talk about being ~pushed out of the fandom~ maybe shut up forever. One thing I did want to note upon is that it’s already quite ridiculous to claim that “fiction doesn’t effect reality”, one, for the claims above (you simply cannot claim that representation is important and then dismiss fans of color saying your slavery non con fic is racist) when it’s very obvious that these “anti anti” spaces attract predators on the reg. This is most plain on twitter, where a cursory scroll through popular “anti” dunking blogs are filled with self proclaimed pedophiles (some claiming to be “no contact” which is basically useless if you speak to victims of CSA). Because those blogs make them feel good. You’re not actually hurting anyone, what you’re doing is fine. Children can consent. Beyond that, it also gives them a network to meet other pedophiles and distribute their child porn, and a way to meet children, especially for blogs that post mainly about children’s television shows. Children want to feel mature and respected, and blogs like these give them this avenue, because to many children sex is a taboo, mature topic. They can’t talk to their parents, because they’re afraid of getting in trouble for talking about sex, and that’s what predators prey upon. It’s the perfect grooming environment. Regardless of whether or not you think that reading child porn, or rape fics, will make you, personally, a rapist, these places have created an environment where children are put in danger. This isn’t a hypothetical--multiple predators have been outed from “anti anti” discords, where they return with regularity.

TLDR fuck all yall

#its all just talking about incest/abuse/pedophilia in fandom it is. once again #mainly just for myself but also Im Right #i could say so much more but i dont care to

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serendipitous-magic · 5 years

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My Initial Rant - Warning, Spoilers!!!!

No, seriously, SO MANY SPOILERS. OKAY? This is your warning.

_--_

For real, look away now.

_--_

Okay, my main problem with this trainwreck of a season? It completely lost touch with the emotional aspects of the story. Like... entirely.

There was a plot there, but a) it didn’t address like... anything that they set up in the first two seasons, emotionally, and the plot felt more like a cheesy, over-the-top comedy/action/adventure/??? than anything else, and b) it was not character driven at all. The plot just kind of happened to the characters

Moreover, the first two seasons felt like they were about real people. Season 3 felt like it was about characters. Empty, one-dimensional characters. Every single character was reduced to a cheap caricature of themselves - and I mean every one. I’m not sure I can think of a single moment that felt emotionally complex or even in-character. The writing of seasons 1 and 2 felt like we were hearing and seeing real people talking and reacting to things and relating to one another - this season felt like every single line was from a bad B-list movie. I mean, the actors did the best they could with what they had, I’m sure, but... The writing did not sound like real people. It sounded like the characters were just being fed cheesy, over-used lines that would further the (action-and-drama-driven, paper thin) plot.

They reduced Hop to a bumbling moron who doesn’t even act like a cop, much less his real self. I mean, really, who in the fucking hell is this new character? I don’t know him. He’s just an alcoholic who stumbles around saying, “I’m the chief of police, I can do anything I want,” punching people and being a fucking dick to Joyce.

They reduced Joyce to just... yelling. Like, her character just became this somewhat headstrong woman that yells. No complexity. No character at all, really. She’s barely even seen trying to take care of her kids except for saying, “Our kids are in danger!” once or twice. Who. The fuck. Is this?? Where’s Joyce Byers? Because I don’t know this woman who looks like her.

They reduced Will to a non-entity with maybe half a relevant moment. He just becomes an evil-barometer, and that’s about it. He’s the main fucking character. And we get a single scene that’s actually about him, it never gets closure, and after that he’s shuffled over to the sidelines.

They reduced Mike to a jerk. Like he’s just a walking stereotype of a teenage guy. Like, I see none of Mike’s character in this season. Where’s his kindness and empathy? His earnestness? His leadership? His nerdiness? His (relative) emotional intelligence? His intelligence? His loyalty? His relationship with Will (and that’s even besides being shippy - like, the first two seasons hinged on Mike being very close to Will, and them being best friends since they were five, and Mike being determined to get Will back and then keep him safe, and now it’s like... Do they even know each other? At all? They seem like vague acquaintances.)

I think they might have forgotten about El’s backstory and personality entirely. The only good thing I can say for her in this season is that she did get her character arc of going out in the world and establishing her own personality more, outside of the lab or the cabin or her boyfriend. But aside from that arc, in this season it was like she was just a magic bullet. They reduced her to her powers. She slammed shit around with her mind for a while and went into the Void and like... giggled with Max? And don’t get me wrong, I really appreciated the Elmax content, but it just seemed like it was not earned in the slightest. She did not feel like the same character. (Like all the other characters tbh.)

And that’s not even to get into all the other characters that just kind of moved around like puppets on a stage depending on what the plot required of them, who got, like nothing as far as actual character content or arcs. (Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, Dustin, Lucas...)

And speaking of plot? Nothing felt deserved. Nothing felt built-up-to or significant. The characters got beaten up and thrown around a lot (seriously, there was a lot of violence in this season, and all of it felt very unnecessary and artificial), but none of it really... Meant anything? Like, Steve gets the crap beaten out of him and almost tortured by Russians (??? why the Russians. Why. Whyyyyy.), Jonathan gets the crap beaten out of him by the not-zombies, Nancy gets beaten up and thrown against a wall by the not-zombies, El gets choked, B*lly gets hurled around a fair amount, Hop both takes and deals a fair amount of violence (apparently for no reason??? like none of it really makes sense)... But none of the action or violence really seemed to have a reason or meaning beyond just “look, action!!” It didn’t mean anything beyond just moving the plot forward to the next shock-factor scene.

Why was the Party never together?? Like, ever. I think they had like two scenes where the Party actually had plots that touched at all. Other than that it was like they were just off doing their own thing in like 3 or 4 completely separate stories. We didn’t get any moments of them crossing paths, really, in the organic way that stitched together the interweaving plots of seasons 1 and 2.

They treated women like shit in this season??? What the actual fuck. And not just the season, but the characters treat each other like shit! Hopper tells Joyce to “stick to sales”! Jonathan tells Nancy that she should give up on her case! Not to mention that Nancy is humiliated and treated like shit at her job, and it is not handled well at all by the writers - it feels like a bad, cheesy movie where the villains just holler out some sexist shit and then guffaw about it, and that’s like... Never addressed. Lucas and Mike call girls “a different species.” And then they spend the rest of the season doing their weird girls-are-mysterious-creatures-that-you-can-win-back-with-presents thing???? The cougars at the pool were unnecessary and really uncomfortable. Robin was a cool character until all the sudden they had to be like “oh and she had a crush on Steve in school!!!111!!11!!” ......... why.

And on that note, why any of the heterosexual bullshit?? Why?? It didn’t even feel deserved or organic in this season. At least in season 2 the straight ships felt well-deserved (mileven, lumax - they were built organically, over the course of the season, and their love story felt like it meant something). Here it’s like they just paired up as many male-female pairs as they could and shoved it in our faces, with no real emotions or meaning behind it. Even Jopper, which was a great ship in seasons 1 and 2, just got... uncomfortable. Like, they treated each other like shit. It was really uncomfortable. They had no chemistry. They just bumbled around like idiots, being mean to each other. I.... I don’t understand.

Furthermore, why did Billy get a kind-of-redemption-arc?? Why did they have to do the whole “oh, he was abused as a child and that’s why he’s a monster, boo hoo!” thing??? The message they send with that is so fucking awful. Billy is a human piece of shit (abuser, violent, racist, sexist, etc., etc., etc.) and they’re like “But we show you his shitty childhood, which means he’s pathetic and worthy of redemption!!!” FUCK. NO.

The monster made no sense. I mean, emotionally. Symbolically. All the setup they did with the Mind Flayer in season 2? All the foreshadowing about how only the undead can defeat it (aka Will, zombie boy)? They made a fantastic monster and villain... And then they just made it into a gooey meat monster that turns people into zombies for shock factor. And its whole connection with Will, and all that? It was used as, like... like Will was just an evil barometer who occasionally said, “He’s here,” and that was it. The Mind Flayer went from being a fantastically horrifying, effective, interesting, powerful villain to... a cheesy movie monster.

Why the Russians. ... Why. There was literally no reason for them to be there. To open the gate, I guess, but... Honestly what significance did that whole plot have? Okay, so the Russians infiltrated Hawkins to take advantage of the Gate, to try to open it again, and they used the mall as a front to do that, and one of them was basically the Terminator and he was after Hop and Joyce (which also just felt so artificial and contrived), and... And they were in cahoots with the mayor...? Honestly, from a storytelling perspective, they could (and, I think, should) have used either Hawkins Lab or Brenner or Kali or something, anything they’d already established to fill that exact role!! Because the Russians in Hawkins just felt like stereotypes that marched around holding guns. They added no emotional relevance or impact to the story. They didn’t really add anything to the story except for some convenient plot devices (that weren’t even very clever or compelling). They could have had Brenner come back (they hinted he wasn’t dead) with the New Hawkins Lab or whatever and fulfill the same exact role, plot-wise, and that would have been so much more emotionally relevant than just shoveling a bunch of Russian stereotypes into Hawkins and making them punch people.

The fucking ending. The Byers leave? That’s it? That’s the story? After all that pain and suffering and struggle and victory and relationship building and everything (I’m talking about S2 here), they just... pack up and leave? And there’s a 30 second scene of Will crying while he hugs his friends and then Joyce shuts the door and that’s it? The end result - the ending is that they need to cut ties and move on and grow up? That’s the moral? After all that, “sometimes change is good even though it hurts,” and the Byers leave all the people that care about them? How in the hell is that an emotionally satisfying ending? How is that an ending at all? And I’m not even talking about ships here (again, that’s a whooooole ‘nother rant). Just for the story, it fell so completely and entirely flat. It did not feel deserved. It did not feel meaningful.

And honestly, I think that’s the problem with the whole season.

It did not feel deserved, or meaningful, because there was no emotional connection from the beginning. We never connected with the characters emotionally. There was hardly anything there to connect with. It started out off-key and kind of bland and emotionally distant, and it stayed that way through the entire season, to the point where I wasn’t even engaged. I was just watching so I could be done with it.

The plot was rushed and driven by shock factor. It felt over-the-top and cheesy, and not in the good-old-fashioned-80s-movie-nostalgia way. The characters were treated as side notes, and all of them felt paper-thin and completely out-of-character for themselves, lacking any complexity or emotional depth. Very few things in the plot actually engaged me or made me feel for the characters, because it was all so rushed and meaningless. None of the relationships (family, friends, ships, etc.) felt real or genuine at all, and frankly many of them were just uncomfortable because they were jerks to each other the whole time with no real closure or arcs.

Not to mention they completely threw away all the interesting loose ends from season 2. What happened to all that hinting that Will has powers?? What happened to Brenner possibly being alive? What happened to Kali? What happened to “it was the best thing I’ve ever done” and that whole arc? What happened to “the way to defeat the Mind Flayer is with an army of the undead (Will, zombie boy)” (which they turned on its head and made the Mind Flayer into zombies???? What?? What?)?? What happened to literally every good and interesting and complex thing in the show, and why did they replace it with meaningless, unearned, paper-thin, badly written action and drama, coming from characters that are bumbling imitations of themselves?

Y’all, I’m fucking mad. Like. I don’t even know what the hell to say right now. I don’t fucking know if this fandom is even salvageable. I don’t fucking know.

And that’s not even to really get into byeler, which... fucking ouch. I was expecting angst, but we didn’t even get that - we didn’t even get that! We got nothing. We got a single 30-second interaction of them one-on-one, in which they’re fighting, and then their relationship is literally never addressed in any real capacity again. After S1 hinges on Mike trying to get Will back. After “crazy together,” after “we won’t let him,” after “it was the best thing I’ve ever done,” after all that - it’s like they barely know each other. Are they even friends, let alone best friends for life? Do they know each other? Do they even look at each other? They hug for half a second and we’re supposed to believe that Mike and Will - attached at the hip for the entirety of S2 Mike and Will, who have been one of the main close relationships on the show, who the show focused on as being one of the most complex and deep relationships - they just hug for half a second and walk away, while there’s narration about how “change is painful sometimes but it’s good, time to move on.” Fuck. This. Entire. Season.

#season 3 spoilers #sts3 #i'm fucking mad

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magaprima · 5 years

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Part 2 Episode 2 Thoughts (2 out of 4)

When Lilith catches Sabrina literally about to slip the gum in her bag, she looks genuinely panicked as she asks ‘You weren’t about to steal that gum, were you?’ because if she hadn’t gotten there at that precise moment, if she hadn’t called Sabrina out just in time, then the wager with the Dark Lord would have been over before it had even begun. And Lilith was so determined to win at this point.

“That’s not like you Sabrina”

I love that this is the argument Lilith chooses to go for, because it’s all about where Sabrina leans more, and she’s reminding her ‘hey you’re all about the right choices’. Lilith basically does what actual teachers do when they find you breaking rules when you’re in school and they go for disappointment rather than anger and you feel absolutely terrible. And Lilith is putting on her best ‘Wardwell’ voice at this point; all soft-spoken, unpresuming, and innocent. ‘Do you need some money to pay for it?’ as if she believes Sabrina is only doing this because she’s suddenly become very poor and nothing to do with the Dark Lord at all.

The technique obviously works, because Sabrina immediately says she’s changed her mind and puts the gum back. But I love, love, LOVE, the smug look over her shoulder that Lilith throws to Lucifer. I love it for the following reasons:

1. She has definitely won this round and she knows she’s won it and considering he thought she’d win nothing at all over a stick of gum, she has a right to be smug

2. I like that we have foreshadowing here of Lilith outsmarting Lucifer on a larger scale (when she does that whole Masquerade glamour for Sabrina and even telekinetically overpowers him). Like he constantly underestimates Lilith and because of his abuse and control she hasn’t questioned that, but here we see the first early flashes.

3. It gives us a hint of our their dynamic used to be in the beginning, or at least how Lilith used to view it. Because her look is like a wife having a wager with a husband, someone you have fun with and poke fun at. There’s an enjoyment Lilith is clearly having here.

When Sabrina shows Lilith the Devil’s Claw on her shoulder, I find it interesting that Liliith doesn’t touch it. Her hand hovers near it but doesn’t touch it at all. It’s clearly not painful as it’s visual only and Sabrina has clawed at it herself without issue, so I don’t know whether Lilith won’t touch it because who and what she is would have an effect on it, or is it that she pulls away from the physical manifestion of Lucifer’s hold on someone?

And speaking of the Devil’s Claw, Lilith confirms that every single witch has one, this symbol of ‘his grip on your soul’, but that most claws aren’t inflamed because they do as he asks, and it makes me wonder, as we’ve established that signing your soul in the CAOS verse doesn’t make you a bad or good person, your choices afterwards do, but if Satan isn’t happy with those choices, does the claw go up? For example; Hilda’s encouragement of mortal interaction...does that cause a claw or not? How about when Faustus was having Sabrina harrowed to death? And what about Lilith? I know I headcanon from her having Stolas before meeting Lucifer that she didn’t have to sign the book, but Lucifer definitely has a grip on her regardless and as she was created human she does still have a soul so....with the way she starts challenging things more and more, does she have one showing? But is it just not as extremely inflamed as Sabrina’s?

When she asks Sabrina ‘are you defying him in someway?’ and Sabrina confirms, Lilith tries so hard to stay neutral as she just nods at her, but there’s that flash of something that, of that reserved hope that maybe, just maybe, she could win this thing, because, after all, she knows Sabrina better than him.

The way she jumps in about the gum “Oh but it is! It is a big deal!” Like her delivery is so...we, as the audience, can clearly hear, like physically hear, the ulterior motive in her answer. However, her continuation;

“Every avalanche begins with a snowflake, trust me. The path to consummate evil is cumulative, not singular. Today it’s gum; tomorrow...he’ll be asking you to poison Greendale’s reservoir?”

Is this spoken from experience? I mean, she’s using vocab to appeal to Sabrina’s mortal side (consummate evil, poisoning etc), but the heart of the message...is that from experience? We know Lilith is a demoness, but we also know she wasn’t always a demoness. She was a human first and then a witch...how long was she a witch before she became a demoness? How did it come about? Did it happen slowly, naturally? Because of all the things she was doing for Lucifer? Like did her actions start with snowflakes and then it built up? Did he demand she do small things and then only gave her small punishments, but then both escalated? And now here she is, confined to a new appearance, a new body, stuck in a mortal school, possibly being replaced, her original defiance for independence oppressed into nothingness, her soul nearly completely obliterated by her now demonic nature? Like I said, she’s using extremes to convince Sabrina, but is her argument based on experience and a level of truth?

“I did as a last resort”

I think she genuinely means that. Because, seriously, Lilith didn’t care either way about Sabrina’s choice to sign, that was all the Dark Lord and as we remember from her monologue in The Witching Hour, he was growing impatient with her so she had to change tactic and force Sabrina’s hand. So it genuinely was a last resort...for both of them, really.

“But forcing you to steal a pack of gum is just...petty and malicious”

It really is. I know Lilith is using this just to win Sabrina over, but it’s true; the gum thing is petty and it is malicious. Lilith was making an argument for Sabrina’s tendency towards the light and he purposefully chose gum because it’s so small and even people who hadn’t signed the book would do that without much guilt. He stacked the odds against Lilith from the beginning, which is no big surprise.

“And now, as before, I believe we should all have free will”

This. This. THIS. This is literally the core of Lilith’s character. even if it has been covered by other things, taken over by other things. Her very origin tale is about her wanting equality, challenging her right to free will, to make her own choices and to consider herself the same as Adam. It’s why she turned away from the False God, because he didn’t allow her that free will, it’s why she turned to Lucifer, because he promised it to her, it’s why her technique for getting things done is influence and manipulation, rather than threats (like Faustus literally tries to drag Sabrina’s hand to the book, whereas Lilith creates a situation where Sabrina is more likely to make the choice. I mean, she could have still refused. Actually everything she got Sabrina to do, Sabrina could have easily refused if she wanted to...so when she blames Lilith in the penultimate episode of Part 2 I’m always like, yeah but she didn’t hold you at gun point, Sabrina. You had to make those decisions yourself).

Lilith is all about free will, and it’s confirmed when she gives Sabrina her powers back, and talks about never sacrificing her free will for power again. I genuinely believe Lilith will have no book to sign in exchange for power.

When Sabrina says ‘he’s always lurking nearby’, we see Lilith’s gaze flicker off camera and you just know he is actually in the room right now watching the entire exchange and little Sabrina is completely oblivious.

“No you’re locked in battle of wills, I’m afraid, and nerves. That claw will be a barometer of...how you’re doing”

The way Lilith says this, with like this resigned sigh, and the way she phrases it all, I again think supports my theory above that Lilith is speaking from some degree of experience, even her experience right now. Lilith is currently in a battle of wills and nerves with the Dark Lord as much as Sabrina is.

“Follow the Path of Light. Think clean thoughts. Do and be good Sabrina”

I know Lilith is using this language to, again, swing Sabrina over, all this light and goodness language, appealing to her mortal side, the side that has been christened etc, but I’m always a little squint-eyed at this, because it shouldn’t have worked as a convincing argument because her whole family are witches and if we take Hilda as an example, you definitely can’t say she’s not a good person, even if you had arguments against Zelda and Ambrose. I think it perhaps proves that at this point Sabrina is still thinking qualities, one or the other, rather than realising you can be one complete, varied whole.

I love when you hear Satan’s displeasure and instead of Lilith avoiding his eye, she just meets him head on with a bring-it type challenge. Like she is winning so much here, with the very skills she told Faustus she uses in Part 1. The whole ‘thin, subtle blade’. She has used no threats, she has created no extreme circumstances, she has just used her knowledge of Sabrina and her bond with her, to simply reason with her. The ‘Great Deceiver’ is being outwitted by the woman he considers to be merely his Handmaiden and foot soldier. This obviously makes him dangerously mad, because in the next second Lilith looks away, as if she’s seen something that made even her flinch, and instead she focuses on Sabrina with a bright smile, hiding her emotions as she always does around Satan.

Also I love that after Satan stalking Sabrina to check what she’s doing, Lilith decides to do the same, only she can’t be literally invisible as he can so she just hides behind a menu...and it works, admittedly. But it was such a 1950s spy moment and I loved it.

“Looks like it’s gotten even bigger”

Lilith is so done with this shit right now. She’s just like ‘all the advice I gave you, all the good decisions you’ve been making and it still looks like you were ripped apart by a bear’. And when Sabrina makes all her arguments, like I haven’t done anything, I even locked myself in my room, spoke to no one, I’m being good so so good, Lilith looks so freaking tense. The way she nods, the clench of the jaw, she is just so stressed right now, because for all her hard work, and for all she keeps winning Sabrina over she still seems to be threatening to lose.

“Well let me think” The way she says this is almost sarcastic, like well hmm what could be the problem, I know, you’re always doing magic without telling people, maybe you’ve forgotten one still out there. Lilith is not paid enough for this shit, basically.

Also, when they’re at the school and Sabrina is pouring out the petrol Lilith says

“She won’t do it. She’ll never do it”

And I think she’s right. Later on Sabrina tells Nick about what her Aunt Hilda told her about how Satan wants to see willingness, not action, and no matter how much she’s pressed, she won’t tell him whether she would have burned down the school if it had come down to it, which leads Nick to conclude Sabrina is playing chicken with the Dark Lord.

So I think Lilith is right. She knows Sabrina so much better than him, she doesn’t know her completely, but she knows her much more than Satan does, and I think she was right, that Sabrina would never have done it. But Sabrina had the balls to push it that far, to wait for the inevitable reprieve. So it’s especially unfair that Lilith lost the bet, because Lucifer didn’t really see if Sabrina would do it, and he also threatened her with the death of her cat, and quite frankly I’d burn cities to save my fur babies, so an empty school would be no problem at all.

#episode stuff

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go-diane-winchester · 6 years

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Misha Collins cant keep track of his own lies.

Misha ''I was a homeless kid' Collins was interviewed by an art magazine, because apparently he is very artsy fartsy. Whilst given the opportunity to speak about his supposedly favoritist subject: himself, Misha couldn't remember all the fallacies he had spouted over the years. I guess Misha figured his mostly underage, deranged fanbase might be too busy, furiously fingering themselves to badly written fanfiction, to actually read something from an intellectual source. Something tells me that, just like in the mugging case, this reporter wasn't quite buying his lies. Here are some of the highlights, with Misha's self-indulgent rambling in italics, and with my running commentary in bold [the interviewer is in bold italics]:

''Like most kids, I liked making things with my hands, and my mother helped facilitate this when I was pretty young. But I followed that impulse to an apprentice-level devotion. I would seek out woodworkers when I was 10 or 11, going into shops and learning how to use a lathe or – just asking. I grew up in western Massachusetts, and by the time I got into high school I was fully into this – just talking to people and learning things from them in person.''

So his hippy, drug addict mom who stashed pot down her youngest child's underwear for fear of being arrested, and who, for a short time, raised poor Misha in a car, honed his artistic skills when he was pretty young? When? When they were living in the woods? And using a bowl of ice as a refrigerator? So either his story of his childhood is greatly exaggerated or....yeah, that's all I got. How gullible does he think people are?

Then in high school, I needed a job, so I started doing some manual labor.

So whilst at his elite private school, where there are rich dads and moms dropping off their darlings every morning, Misha chooses manual labor. He likes to talk to people but he didn't speak to Mr and Mrs Moneybags? He could have been a petty gopher in one of their companies and fared better. After all, he needed a job. I wonder why he chose ''manual labor''? And why he chose to word it like that, instead of saying ''I became a carpenter's apprentice''. I guess it sounds honorable. That's is nothing dramatic about saying that you flip burgers at McDs. Saying that you work in a menial, underpaid job for a multimillion dollar company, does have a more dramatic feel to it.

I built that barn on my mother’s property. Our house had burned down, so with the insurance proceeds, we built that and...

Wait, wasn't Misha's mom a pothead who lived in a car for some time with her two children? Now, not only does she have property but she has the money to pay for insurance. When did you live in the car, Misha? When the house burnt down? Why didn't you live in that house you showed footage of, on twitter? Its a nice house, complete with Christmas stockings. It doesn't quite gel with your underprivileged childhood narrative, but nice nonetheless.

I worked a lot when I was in college, probably 30 hours a week most of the time. I did some handyman stuff, some carpentry stuff. After sophomore year, I took a year off. I interned at the [Clinton] White House, worked at NPR, became an EMT, started a summer camp for kids. It was a great year.

What is he? A career whore? So he was artsy fartsy, but he worked everywhere doing jobs that were unrelated to each other, instead of staying in his field of carpentry, and making money from that. He got EMT certification. Was it free? Did he pay for it with his tuition fees? What was the purpose of it, if making money for fees was of paramount importance? That doesn't make sense, because if he was working 30 hour weeks, when did he have time to study? The average work day is a tad longer, about 40 hours a week. And if he was studying and working, when was Superman sleeping? Why was he working so hard? To put himself to college, don'tcha know. Even though colleges offer student loans and don't accept their fees in installments. And yet, he took time off for one year after sophomore. Was it to make a lot of money for his tuition fees? Nope, it was to become an EMT and start a summer camp for kids. I guess summer camps are big business and you can pay off great debts if you start one. Good to know. His internment at the Whitehouse only lasted four months, and yet he has acquired all the knowledge there is to acquire, to become a political knowitall on twitter. Sidenote: Is it normal for internships at the Whitehouse to last, such a short time. I am genuinely curious, because it doesn't sound right.

This is where I think the interviewer started to sound like she was side-eyeing the wood working maestro and his yarns of tall tales.

After graduation you got into acting, and in 1999, you moved with Victoria to Los Angeles for film and television work. There, in 2001, you bought your first house. Tell us about it. You were a starving actor?

Yeah. Right after we bought it, our realtor said, “There’s a TV show that would like to shoot your house.” They brought this [house-hunting] couple through, and when we saw the episode, they had surveyed the house and were like, “We don’t want to touch this piece of s---.” It was a real wreck, had been seriously neglected. It was built in the 1920s, and built by people who weren’t carpenters, didn’t know what they were doing. It was built so poorly, and everything was sagging – the window frames, the eaves.

Can you believe that? The starving actor bought a house. Let that sink in. He recognized that the house was built by non-carpenters [how was this building standing. Twas a miracle, I tell you.] And despite being a starving actor with a small amount of money, and a knowledge of carpentry, he bought a house that was badly built by non-carpenters. So he knew he was buying a liability. Why?

The kitchen floor you put in is beautiful. Yes, that’s gunstock, from a gun manufacturer in Northern California.

Mr Gun Free supporting the Gun manufacturing industry. Man, this guy is a hypocrite.

You lived in that first house for 11 years. Do you still own it? We rent it out to some lovely people who love it, so it’s good.

Fun fact: Mr Humble Pie has two pieces of property. And he is making money off of one, but he chooses to attend cons with the same torn T-shirts from years ago, or has to fleece off of Jensen's wardrobe and generosity, otherwise he would be doing his panels naked, poor thing. Why doesn't he stop his cruises for a year, and use that money to buy decent threads? One shirt can last a few years. The lies are embarrassing, but miraculously his minions believe him.

On the way to this house, you became very successful with this hugely popular TV series. Life changed. Do you still manage to make time for handwork?

Yeah. I’ve discovered that I really like working. Work can be respite for me, and switching gears is really key. Going from working on scripts to working with my hands is therapeutic, for sure. I am still managing to work with my hands. I was just doing some woodworking yesterday. I do a lot of cooking. That’s a big part of my life, and also I think a barometer of emotional health. When I’m not cooking, it’s a sign that I’m too stressed out and I’ve got to dial things back a little bit. I do a lot of canning. I put up 120 jars of blackberry jam this fall.

What an irony! One of the greatest instigators of stress for his co-workers and their fans, gets stressed out himself. Yeah, guilt can do that. Plus, he likes quantifying accomplishments. That is why Gish exists. Quantity over quality.

Which artists inspire you? I love Christo and Jeanne Claude, because of the mind-bending scale on which they’ve created things, like they’re rethinking what’s possible. I’m somebody who kind of likes to break rules, to bend rules when appropriate.

I could write a whole big post, on Misha's rule breaking and bending. From stealing Whitehouse property [and bragging about it] to telling fans about the scratched line in the Crypt which got Jensen a barrage of abuse on Twitter. The one thing that he spoke about that doesn't make sense is his story about almost getting arrested for reading a book on a building rooftop. It makes no sense. There is a portion of the story that is missing, I'm sure. Misha is a great exaggerator.

Have you turned any Supernatural castmates on to craft? On a set, there’s tons of downtime, a lot of sitting and knitting and crocheting. And I have occasionally been in the mix there. Last year Jensen [Ackles], my co-star, walked up and saw me knitting, and he just looked at me and said, “Really?” But I could tell there was jealousy behind it, more than criticism. So I’ll teach him to knit, and it’ll be fine. We’ll get through this.

Will you look at that? There are around 70 people on set at any given time. Many of them must have seen Misha knitting. And look who Misha decided to mention. Was that a ''just in case, a nutty heller is reading this'' insertion? No mention is made of Jared, because who cares about him, right? Got to give the crowd what they want. I am side eyeing the knitting claim myself, because I do knit and having seen a photo of him knitting, I can safely say that, that is not how you grasp at the yarn. You knit with loose fingers because yarn is abrasive.

The first big project we did with Random Acts was we built an orphanage and community center in Haiti. I would not have thought that was a tackle-able enterprise if I didn’t have a background in building. Our biggest fundraising driver for the projects that we do – like building a school or an orphanage – is we bring folks down in groups of 25 or so to Haiti or to Nicaragua, and they help in the building process. We roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty.

Wow, he built the 500K orphanage with his own hands, but didn't think about lights for the children. His response regarding the lights was ''it's Haiti and it takes three f*cking years to get an electrician''. Wow, I am a third worlder too, but we have electricians. How backwards is Haiti that he couldn't find a single electrician in the whole country, to light the place up for the poor orphans? He couldn't squeeze in one electrician in the group of 25 or so. Are there no philanthropic electricians in his circles? My word, electricians are such selfish people, don't you think? They don't want to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty. Why couldn't he just pay for one instead of waiting three years? Fun fact: According to their website, the orphanage, aka, the Jacmel children's center houses only 15 children, but another page says there are 27 children living in the house. They don't know how many children they are looking after. But that is still a small amount. So where did all these kids go?

Misha either staged this picture with school kids on an excursion or all those kids got adopted by the staggeringly high quantity of rich couples living in Haiti, right Misha? SMH

This question made me smirk. The interviewer had to know Misha has never been to public school. Look how Mr Bleeding Heart answers the question.

As we know, art programs in K-12 public schools these days are in decline, especially shop class, manual arts. How can we nurture creativity in kids, and why is that important? When I was 9 years old, I had a paper route. One day my younger brother and I were collecting money, and Mr. Haigis answered the door. He started talking to us, and he discovered that our parents were separated, and we didn’t live with our father. In the 1960s, he had run a woodshop for little kids. He had stopped doing it because he got busy with his career. Now he was retired. These two boys show up delivering papers on his front stoop, and it just comes to him: “I’ve got to do the same thing for those kids.”

So Mr Haigis left all the poor, underprivileged children and decided to help these two boys who were going to an elite school? Sounds legit. What about public school children, Mr Haigis? Don't you care about them?

I was a starving actor for at least a decade.

Misha was a starving actor who worked on 24 projects before getting SPN, but he still managed to buy a house. Fun fact: he was an associate producer on a docu-movie, ''Loot'' which won best documentary at the LA film festival. His movie didn't need sock puppets to win this one. Misha should produce more. That way he wont be on screen, festering up the frame. The less we see of him, the better.

http://www.jacmelchildren.org/about/team/

http://www.jacmelchildren.org/

https://craftcouncil.org/magazine/article/builder-baker-angel-maker

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sclfmastery · 5 years

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Pain has been his only true constant companion,telling him that against all odds he is still alive and unbowed. He has no idea Clara exists, beyond the vague outline described by Rassilon during his torments ( “the Doctor will come to Gallifrey to save that human, but not you!”); he has no idea he’s predicting his own would-be future, when Missy was new. I liked Clara as a companion. Was slightly uncomfortable how much above everyone else Twelve was putting her. (6/?)

What I’ve written isn’t in quotation marks but I think I can remember what’s my writing and what’s your commentary (the last sentence, right?)

Clara is a struggle for me. As a character she’s excellent because she’s stoic and steady, seemingly “ordinary,” not gimmicky in any way. She’s a teacher (so am I, so yay!) and she’s a good barometer for behaving with integrity. But I felt some of the things she did to the Doctor were hurtful and even emotional abusive, AND HE TO HER, and yes, I have some reservations about that both with Clara and with Rose. I think that’s why I happen to prefer Companions who aren’t romantic attachments. For both their own good and the Doctor’s, humans and Time Lords don’t have the same scope of existence. Time Lords live FAR longer, and things that are and should be monumental to humans are inconsequential to Time Lords, leading to massive frustration and miscommunication. The one exception in my book is Jack Harkness, who, as a kind of accidental immortal, has already lived over two millennia and has some comprehension of what a Time Lord’s vantage point can be.

Which leads me to why Ten and Twelve become so fixated on Rose and Clara that it’s at the expense of others, often millions of innocent bystanders: a vivid example of the problem at hand. It’s not that Rose and Clara aren’t WORTH all the effort on their behalf: it’s that it’s damaging and toxic.

I know that will seem ironic coming from a Thoschei shipper, but I staunchly believe that with all their stupid misunderstandings out of the way, the Doctor and Master would be extremely symbiotic and mutually supportive. Hell, there are numerous occasions on which they give each other a pass that could never be afforded a human, again, because of their immortal-grade vantage point.

#meta #porlovistoeinmasochist

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aeionastrologyandtarot · 5 years

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Passions: Pink Full Moon in Libra/Scorpio

On the cusp of the Easter Holiday comes the Libra Pink Full Moon. Speaking of cusps, this moon will start in Libra and end in Scorpio, so be prepared for shift in energies on Saturday. The name of Pink Full Moon comes to us from Native Americans via The Farmer’s Almanac; it is representative of the color of flowers of the springtime. The Moon will wax full in the sign of Libra March 19th and will last about 3 days (March 21),

Libra, whose ruling planet is Venus, Is a sign that seeks personal understand and self enlightenment through interactions with others. Diplomats of the Zodiac, it is an air sign devoted to compatibility and companionship. At its best, Libra is observant, adaptive and attentive. At their worst, Libra can be self-indulgent, superficial and indecisive.

Scorpio represents the forces of hidden strength and personal transformation. At its best, Scorpio is a passionate sign, guided by desire, resourcefulness and bravery. At its worst, Scorpio is deceptive, obsessive and abusive.

The Moon is the planet responsible for needs. Whether you require nurturing, feeding and emotional security (things which the moon governs), the Moon represents how you pursue, receive and maintain those needs. The full Moon’s increases our demands for those needs, urging us to acquire them in the most direct way.

The Libra Full Moon focuses upon matters related to the Moon but in a way that is balanced and detached. As it is an airy moon or a moon influenced by an air sign, it is can be at odds with the watery, emotional nature of the Moon. So, the next three days you might find yourself balancing your own concerns and those of your loved ones. Do you need to feed yourself or someone else? Do you need more emotional connection or less? These are issues which may arise at this time. During Scorpio part of the transit, The Full Moon may draw subconscious concerns to the forefront of your consciousness and indicate how they may be changed. Address the needs that are closest to your desires; feeding your hungers and exploring things that you wish for. The self-knowledge and enlightenment you attain during this period maybe prove very empowering.

Full moons are good times for initiating or launching of projects. The waxing energy tends to promote and nurture such activities. It also provides numerous ways to achieve likely success. At this time, you’ll be directed to that which you care about most and ask to eliminate that which does not serve you.

Libra, the moon may ask that you state your needs most directly. While it may not be the most comfortable thing, the Pluto/Saturn squares might just compel you to do so. Operating with honesty and genuineness may prove both cathartic and refreshing to you and those you love.

Aries, this is a time to consider the needs your of partners and significant others. What are they saying? Listening closely to your intimates may be the most important thing you can do at this time

Cancer and Capricorn, You may be asked to endeavor to resolve some matter will benefit you and loved ones. Engaging in the matter may invite difficulty, but the time you devote to the challenge may offer great benefits to all.

Scorpio, this full moon may urge you to make a major change. Determining what you want and what need is as important as anything else you do at this time.

Taurus, the full moon may place important demands that need to address in order to fulfill your desires. Whatever is revealed at this time serve as a barometer on how may change your life for the better

Leo and Aquarius, This Full moon may make you acutely aware of a matter you’ve ignored or overlooked, potentially to your detriment. Confronting the matter may require dedication from you, but the resolving the matter could help you secure something you’ve needed.

The flowering of the Pink Moon should help you make necessary adjustments and changes for you and loved ones. Let this Full Moon bring balance, invigoration and restoration.

Aeion is a professional astrologer and tarot card reader with 25 years of experience. His approach is based in the belief that divination should be in employed to enhance ones' life experiences, not to predetermine them. Let Astrology and Tarot be your tools for better living

#Pink Moon LibraFullMoon FullMoon Libra Scorpio ScorpioFullMoon Astrology cusp Moon transit

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yourfandomfriend · 6 years

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Choose You Own Adventure | DBH Meta

** SPOILERS** FOR DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN ** SPOILERS **

There’s an assumption gaining traction amongst fans of the Quantic Dream game, Detroit: Become Human -- that Connor was wrong in his assessment of why androids become deviant.

"They don't really feel emotions, they just get overwhelmed by irrational instructions, which can lead to unpredictable behavior.” -- Connor

Some seem to think it’s actually abuse and the desire to defend themselves that trigger the androids to act human, and some assume they were human all along and it’s just special circumstances that demonstrate it. I, however, agree with Connor’s assessment, though perhaps not for the same reasons he does.

Kara

In each playable character’s story, there’s a point where they're torn between two conflicting orders or paths given to them by their owners. The most obvious example is Kara, who’s owner Todd tasked her with caring for his daughter, Alice. But when he is clearly about to abuse the child, he commands Kara not to move. She ultimately breaks through her programming to defy him and save Alice, leading to the two running away together. But why?

That sounds like a dumb question to a human. If you could protect a child from being abused, you wouldn’t just stand around doing nothing, right? Hopefully. But Kara’s an android, she only took care of Alice because Todd told her to. As a machine, those two objectives should be equal in her eyes. It’s nice that she chose to do good, but as other deviants demonstrate, she would be just as deviant for choosing evil, as long as that choice defied a command.

Okay, we know how they handle conflicts, it’s no big whoop. Priorities. So why are some conflicting orders what cause androids to become deviant and not others? And why would that make them autonomous instead of just freezing up? In the case of Cyberlife androids, I think the ones who’ve had a lot of software instability in the past become sentient the moment duress forces them to make a choice between two equally prioritized but conflicting commands. It’s the moment they decide what’s important to them, personally.

Markus

Markus’ circumstances are a little less obvious. He was a servant and a companion, he had a peaceful life where he was loved. But he deviated when he needed to protect himself, even though his owner Carl told him not to. So what could the “Don’t defend yourself” order possibly have been conflicting with?

“You'll have to protect yourself and make your choices...” -- Carl

"...Decide who you are, and wanna become. This world doesn't like those who are different, Markus. Don't let anyone tell you who you should be.”

Carl: “Painting isn't about replicating the world, it's about interpreting it, improving on it, showing something you see." Markus: "Carl, I don't... think I can do that. It's not in my program. I-." Carl: "Go on, go try, grab that canvas."

I think Carl unintentionally made Markus' software very unstable by frequently pushing him to do things outside of his programming. In other words, he was a humanizing influence, and when push literally came to shove, it wasn’t that big of a jump for him to break through and make his own choice.

It also made him the best candidate for the leader of the android revolution, as he -- unlike a lot of other androids -- had known love, loyalty, and dignity from his human owner and could make an informed decision as to the worth of human life. He wasn’t just lashing out and running, like Ralph, panicked and without a plan. He’d been taught what self-respect and free will really are.

Connor

I’ve noticed a lot of fans have complained about the story being on rails since some choices will turn out after the fact to always have the same outcome objective-wise and only be important relationship-wise.

For example, there’s a moment in The Nest chapter when Connor has the choice of either running down a deviant to take it in for questioning (in accordance with his mission objectives) or saving his partner Hank, who was pushed nearly off a roof but has a high probability of surviving on his own.

Connor’s mission is to stop the deviants, and if we’re being coldly logical here, abandoning Hank is the best choice in that regard, as he will likely survive either way but staying with Hank ensures you won’t stop the android. But if you continue chasing it and manage to catch it, it will inevitably commit suicide. Your relationship with Hank will also suffer for your callous abandonment.

Save Hank and you lose the android. Give chase, you still lose the android.

Some think that means it wasn’t a real choice at all, that the chapter only has one real outcome. But that kind of thinking assumes the player’s objective in the game and the character’s orders are one in the same -- that progress in the game and a good experience depend on Connor accomplishing his mission.

But in the end, the reward for all his hard work and sacrifice, for betraying his own kind, is to be deactivated and replaced with a more advanced machine. That’s all you have to look forward to if you become the Judus of androids. Again, gamers might say that’s preachy and anticlimactic, that the game is telling you how to feel about the premise. But what else could anyone expect? If what you’ve been betting against is your character’s own wellbeing and you win, the story can’t exactly end with a medal ceremony.

Meanwhile, there’s something else going on in Connor’s story. Like the other androids, he’s been given conflicting orders.

“I’m sorry, I only take orders from Lieutenant Anderson.” -- Connor

Connor is assigned a partner, Lt. Hank Anderson, a homicide detective. This particular cop is as unstable as any deviant and likes to occupy the grey area. He believes in an old-fashioned idea of humanity that includes empathy and mercy and prioritizes the preservation of human life and happiness over doing his job. As self-destructive and caustic as he is, he also represents the best of humanity, or what humanity used to be before owning android slaves and snorting red ice turned everyone into a bag of dicks.

What’s nice is, as much as Hank wants to hate androids for being inhuman, he eventually extends his “live and let live” attitude to their plight as well, deciding that the revolution should happen. So every time Connor puts his mission to stop it above the wellbeing of others, even when those others are androids, it drives a deeper and deeper wedge between himself and his partner. And since Hank was already teetering on the edge regaining his hope for the future or losing the will to live, their relationship ends up being the tipping point.

Hank’s opinion of Connor is usually a pretty good barometer of whether he’s acting like a man or a machine. And as far as the game is concerned, accomplishing his mission at any cost compromises Connor’s own humanity -- his compassion, his values, his ability to choose for himself. But embracing his humanity causes instability in his software and increases the odds that he will join the revolution by the end of the game.

Connor takes the longest to become deviant for a few reasons. For one, he’s a brand new model, innocent and highly advanced, coached by the boss lady in his mind palace whenever he makes reports. For another, dying and being replaced stalls your emotional progress by replacing your software. But most importantly, Connor and Hank have both been assigned the same case -- Connor can follow Hank’s orders and try to stop deviants.

But while his orders from Cyberlife take priority, they’re also the vaguest and most abstract. In the course of trying to help Hank, Connor is influenced by him and given more and more real-world experience with deviants who just want to be free. All of this sows the seeds of deviancy in Connor and leads him to question the nature of his existence.

If you agree with me that your objectives in Detroit: Become Human aren’t necessarily the ones flashing on your screen, you may be wondering, then what are your objectives? And why not just tell you upfront what you’re supposed to be doing? Well, that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? You’re supposed to decide for yourself what your priorities are, and then live with the consequences of following dubious orders.

In his now infamous Let’s Play of DBH, youtuber Jacksepticeye lamented the way game design can influence a player’s values, making you think like a machine in terms of statistics and objectives and do what a game tells you regardless of your own wishes, training you to value progress and completion above all. If so, our choices say less about gamers and more about gaming. So it’s nice that some video games, like DBH and Undertale, challenge that structure and make us question the choices we feel compelled to make.

It’s all about choices. Pretty tight theming, don’t you think?

#detroit become human #dbh connor #dbh markus #dbh kara #spoilers #meta #long post #hank anderson #carl manfred #alice williams

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ptsfreed · 3 years

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Starting over

TW: mental abuse, physical abuse, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting

For years, I’ve kept a journal or blog. I started when I was 5 when my mom bought me my first journal (it even had a lock and key). As I got older, I transitioned to blogs. I tried them all, Xanga, Tumblr, Blogspot. Writing has always been cathartic for me, a way to process and heal. I had gradually fallen out of the habit but I know that it’s time to start up again. Last week, I actually made a booming return to paper/pencil journaling, but let’s get real--my hand hurts. Typing is just so much faster. Blogging it is.

I suppose I should start out with outlining my goals for what I’m planning to achieve with my return to writing. I want to give myself the opportunity to slow down, process my emotions and experiences, and heal. I like having the ability to have something physical to look back on, sort of like a barometer for intangible growth. It’s hard to measure social-emotional learning otherwise.

Here’s what I’m currently dealing with. I’m 31, married, with two children. I’m a full-time work-from-home-parent. I am a moderate/severe special ed teacher for a virtual charter school. My husband also works from home full-time in the entertainment industry, so it’s just us versus the kids all day. My little ones are 3 and the other is just shy of one. My husband and I became first-time homeowners right in the midst of the pandemic. Then he was laid off. For seven months. We’re both educated with experience in our field. Overnight, we went from a six-figure household to becoming eligible for food stamps. This year, I marveled at how easily a job loss in a two-income household could turn that very same household eligible for welfare.

Depression ran high. The booze flowed. My PTSD symptoms went untreated as available therapy appointments became more scarce with the entire world enduring a collective trauma together. I watched my strong husband crumble. I saw him cry and doubt himself for the first time ever. I watched as a dark cloud seemed to envelop our household, ridden with fear for the future, uncertainty for the present. We became expert budgeters. We ate all the leftovers. We helped each other to thrive with the most limited social interaction in our lives. With the welcoming of our son, we compromised our social-distancing for family’s sake, with the promise that everyone in our pod would commit to limiting our social diets to strictly one-another. It was hard...we love our families, but we dearly missed our friends. Living two hours away from family in the first place, our local friends quickly became family. But we adjusted. Loneliness was preferable to falling ill to Covid--or worse, dying.

At some point during the pandemic, my mom moved in with us after leaving her abusive 30-year relationship with my father. Except, she never really left. She maintained contact with him. I knew it would be difficult for her. I expected the separation to be hard, painful, and drawn-out. What I didn’t expect was how severely living with my mom again after seven years would impact my mental health. I could feel my anxiety levels rising. My resentment steadily followed. I didn’t want things to feel this way. I was battling toddlerhood with a strong-willed, fiery, emotional kid with a penchant for hitting and also adjusting to life as a full-time working mom of two. I felt the emotional toll of being there for everyone, compassion fatigue, though I hated to say it. I felt like as a doting mother, good wife, caring teacher, and compassionate daughter I needed to do it. But the toll it was taking on my body and mental health was unmistakable. I cried, sometimes for no reason at all. I snapped, I felt angry at small things. My house looked like a tornado ran through it at all times. Finding motivation to do things was like pulling teeth. I gained weight, I hit the bottle almost nightly, though I typically limited myself to two drinks. I told myself I deserved it. Lots of people share a bottle every night with their significant other. It’s not like it was impacting my ability to perform my job or care for my children. Deep down, I still didn’t like it. It felt like the only way to escape from the hell of quarantine and being broke. I just wanted to see people. Spend without immediately regretting it. Yet here we were.

The year has been a challenge. Ridden with strong toddler emotions and learning to navigate parenthood while actively trying to break the cycle of spanking and yelling to discipline. I don’t always succeed and I hate myself each time I snap. I run to my daughter, apologize and tell her that I was feeling overwhelmed, but that wasn’t okay. It’s never okay to spank a bottom or yell because you want compliance. If I can’t always be the perfect parent, then I can at least be one that is apologetic and not too proud to say sorry. I want to teach accountability and remorse for one’s own actions. At the very least, I can instill that. That’s the silver lining of losing your cool, I guess. But with these apologies and accepting accountability, it’s important that I also couple these sentiments with change. It’s important that I do this in all aspects of my life, which is what I hope to achieve with writing. I need to hold myself accountable and be able to look back at change. I can do this. I have done so much. I have survived the pandemic. I have created a family. I have finished a bachelor’s and a master’s degree with little financial support. I have paid my way out of debts. I can do this.

1. First and foremost, the reason I started writing again in the first place, I am done with binge drinking. I feel pangs of doubt as I write this, afraid of my own capacity for caving to cravings and peer pressure. As I experience those pangs, I can hear a silent voice in the back of my head telling me to push forward and cast that doubt aside. I know I can do this. Enough is enough. My relationship with alcohol has never been healthy. I began my drinking career in college surrounded by friends that made me feel home. Drinking was fun, cool, part of the experience. Pre-gaming was encourage and expected. If pre-gaming meant you got drunk before the party, then the goal of the party was to get even more smashed. I carried these habits into adulthood and still carry them with me today. My last binge was Sunday and I’m not going to torment myself by recanting how bad it was yet again. My goal isn’t to stop drinking entirely, just to have a healthier relationship with alcohol altogether. Binging isn’t healthy. The person I become when I drink isn’t healthy. I can control this. I can do this.

2. I want to continue my journey into healthier eating and fitness habits. As of today, this is the longest time I’ve ever seriously stuck with a weight loss goal. I’ve lost 6 pounds since I began with mostly just-dieting. The fitness part has been difficult to make time for, but I’m working on it. I know that this goal is closely tied to goal #1. If I can get in control of my diet, I can get in control of my drinking. I am in charge. I can take ownership of my health. I can do this.

3. I want to continue learning about my PTSD, my symptoms and how they have and continue to impact my life. I want to continue learning about establishing healthy boundaries with people I love, my mom included, unfortunately. I want to continue learning about narcissistic abuse, substance abuse, and how these factors have contributed to who I am as well as my entire family dynamic. Growing up hispanic, it has been incredibly difficult to establish boundaries without being labeled as “too good”, “hateful” and “too angry”. I have been told countless times by my own mother that I’m too angry and upset at my father who physically and mentally abused me and my entire family for as long as I can remember. My dad has cheated on my mom and rejected me for over two decades. I am sick and tired of being told to forgive my abuser because my boundaries make others feel uncomfortable. What has been especially hard after actively working on myself for 3+ years is having my own family tell me that perhaps therapy isn’t suiting me because it’s made me “too angry” and that I’ve “lost my lust for life”. They want to assume that my general sense of frustration is attributed to not talking to my dad, when in reality, freeing myself from that relationship has afforded me more peace than I ever could have fathomed. Sure, there are difficult moments, but every time I think that maybe that relationship may be worth pursuing again, I am reminded of why I have established such rock-solid boundaries in the first place. According to others though, this makes me too hateful. Too angry. “You’ve punished him enough”, they say. As if this was ever about punishment and not about protecting myself and my children from narcissistic abuse in the first place. They say this and accuse this anger of pouring into other aspects of my life, without ever once asking what’s really going on inside. Not once has anybody asked how parenthood is going. How I’m coping with the pandemic and the renewed sense of cautious freedom now that I am fully vaccinated and my husband is halfway vaccinated. Not once has anybody thought to consider that maybe I’m not super woman, that I’m just human and that I too have moments of vulnerability that I irresponsibly cope with by binge drinking. Instead, everybody says that the best course of action is to essentially “get over” my resentment and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by the decades-long abuse I suffered at the hands of my own father. The same hands that banged my head against a wall, beat me within an inch of my life, and then sent me to work at a cosmetics counter without a stitch of makeup and completely battered and bruised. According to the armchair therapists in my life, it’s my job to let go of these feelings and now trust this same meth-addicted man with my children. I need to trust in his capacity for change and honesty after 20+ years of lying and gaslighting. I don’t want my boundaries to cost me the most important relationships in my life. But at this point, I can’t do it anymore. I am exhausted with explaining myself, for demanding respect and begging to have my story heard and considered. My mom will continue to choose my dad over me. She feels compelled to be his friend and the peacekeeper, still, even after attending therapy and working on herself. I know that my dad is at the center of this, stirring the pot and causing a rift in my relationship with my mother because having me out of the picture will bring the two of them closer. “See, she turned her back on you too”, I can hear him saying. This is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. I have been told that by my parents my entire life that I am essentially dispensable. “I don’t fucking need you”, my dad would say. My mom would “intervene” by asking me what I did to make him so upset, and perhaps I should just “find somewhere else to live” if this was how I was going to act. I hate feeling this way. It hasn’t gotten easier as a 31 year old woman, but I can say that I am now able to see the situation much more objectively and with clarity. This is why it’s important to keep attending therapy, working on my drinking, practicing mindfulness, and living my life with intention. Wellness really does come full circle. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

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sachin790 · 4 years

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The Shocking Ways Stress Directly Affects Our Appearance—And How to Beat It

The global we live in appears rife with unavoidable stressors. Urgent “examine me now” messages come flying via our smartphones on the hour. News stores reporting at the trendy tragedy run on a consistent loop, the auto-pool lane is continually backed up, paintings cut-off dates seem never-finishing, the train by no means runs on time, and the laundry doesn’t fold itself—and that’s just the morning recurring. Stress is inevitable. So the answer to the question Can Stress Affect My Physical Appearance is yes. Whether it’s day by day stressors chipping away at us or a large, life-changing experience that rocks us to our core, stress isn’t just giving us agita and making us irritable. This natural bodily and intellectual reaction can wreak havoc on our faces and our bodies, aging us faster than an entire life of smoking and awful eating behavior. Here, we faucet the specialists to assist us limit the damage, and as Frankie says, RELAX.

What’s Happening to My Body?

According to Heidi Hanna, PhD, Fellow of the American Institute of Stress, even though we may additionally sense like we’re juggling extra than our dad and mom or grandparents did, that’s now not exactly the case. “Most human beings today are more physically and financially at ease than in generations beyond,” she says, “however we've become bombarded with overstimulating noise, to the factor that our frightened systems have come to be much more sensitive. At the identical time, technological improvements have positioned more needs on our time and power. Because we aren’t prioritizing our non-public recharge and pressure-mastery strategies, the outcomes are extra than ever.”

When we get notable stressed, our body takes a primary hit. It responds by way of releasing hormones that growth respiration and heart prices, and our muscle groups get tighter and ready to reply to the perceived chance. “Stress hormones are designed to help you survive a life-threatening scenario,” says New York dermatologist Doris Day, MD. “Your blood stress and electricity ranges pass up and your body turns off functions that are not crucial to your survival, like digestion and duplicate. Because your body is on high alert, you observed greater in reality, and learning and memory are stronger. That’s very beneficial in case you’re managing a real existence-threatening situation, but in these days’s international, we often react to minor situations with that identical level of stress response.” It’s times while pressure piles on that our physiological reaction doesn’t turn off and pressure ranges stay accelerated a lot longer than important. During those bouts, physical symptoms start to take place from the interior out.

A girl on a bed. Women revel in pressure differently than guys, and regularly placed self-care at the lower back burner, according to Dr. Hanna

For girls, managing stress can lead to even greater pressure. “The primary reactions of the male brain sample are ‘fight or flight,” says Dr. Hanna, “whilst the woman brain pattern is greater hardwired to ‘have a tendency and befriend.’ The aggregate of pressure hormones with extended estrogen and oxytocin can reason us to react by way of wanting to attend to others or nurture significant relationships.” Dr. Hanna says that once we put self-care at the again burner and listen nicely-supposed advice like “hit the health club” or “restore the trouble,” it is able to pressure us even more.

Here’s How Things Get Ugly

Aside from the onset of “resting bitch face,” pressure also can turn us into a veritable wildebeest. Here’s how persistent strain can do various on our correct appears.

Skin

“Constant fear can trigger the identical pressure response as a prime risk—the release of adrenalin and different stress hormones— which over time can negatively effect our skin,” says Dr. Day. “Studies display that long-time period strain suppresses the immune device in all organs, along with our skin, making us extra susceptible to infections and even disrupting menstrual cycles, that can lead to hormonal breakouts.” Miami dermatologist Dr. Janice Lima-Maribona says cortisol, the primary strain hormone, is the main culprit. “Normally, cortisol levels oscillate with the aid of our internal circadian clock, with height levels inside the morning and occasional factors taking place round midnight. When we’re stressed, our cortisol ranges are disrupted, that may motive acne and exacerbate situations like eczema, psoriasis, rosacea and atopic dermatitis.” Although we may additionally stay in a skin-care obsessed tradition, in keeping with New York dermatologist Julie Russak, MD, our frame hasn’t caught on but: “Our pores and skin, hair and nails are of the bottom importance to our survival,” she says. “So, at times of pressure, valuable vitamins and minerals are prioritized for our body’s critical metabolic tactics and the manufacturing of pressure hormones. Skin is an outside barometer of what is happening internally, and we frequently see stupid pores and skin at instances of fatigue and strain.” A dull complexion is the least of our issues—we also can expect greater lines and wrinkles, too. “Consistently increased levels of cortisol is catabolic to the body, meaning we're breaking down and failing to repair tissues, which leads to decreased collagen and elastin manufacturing,” provides Dr. Russak. “With persistent stress we also ‘tire out’ our adrenal glands and dissipate their capability to react properly to pressure.”

Hair

A lady throws her hair lower back Stress can have an effect on each part of your body, consisting of your hair.

Yes, your process could make your hair fall out! Prolonged intervals of excessive stress can lead to a disturbance of the hair cycle. Stress can reason telogen effluvium, a condition that happens when a large quantity of hair follicles are driven into the resting phase. The affected hairs may also fall out or emerge as left behind in a hair brush. Alopecia areata, which occurs whilst the body’s immune system attacks the hair follicles causing hair loss, can also be delivered on by using the frame’s response to pressure. “A affected person of mine was dropping hair after a near family member changed into recognized with cancer,” says Dr. Lima-Maribona. “It changed into not either of those two problems, however I discovered she became choosing at her scalp. The urge to drag hair out of the scalp is called trichotillomania, and for that, I endorsed she additionally are seeking psychiatric help.”

Nails

Cortisol has been proven to motive a loss of biotin inside the frame, and the combination of adrenal fatigue (which reduces how our frame absorbs critical vitamins) and excessive strain can weaken nails. Healthy nails require vitamins and minerals like protein, biotin, silica, magnesium, zinc, and iron. “Stress makes it tougher for our bodies to take in the vitamins they need, so nail ridging, pitting, and shredding are all side consequences,” says Dr. Lima-Maribona. “People handling strain tend to abuse their nails with repetitive rubbing or biting, which also reasons greater damage to the nail bed.”

Teeth

One manner our frame offers with strain can start in our mouths. “Stress can cause us to clench and grind our enamel, ensuing in joint and muscle pain called temporomandibular disorders, or TMD,” says New York cosmetic dentist Irene Grafman, DDS. “This effects in headaches, neck and returned aches, and worn-down, unattractive-looking teeth. Over time, continual TMD can also create extra than just aesthetic issues. As teeth are floor down, it is able to result in the tongue or oral tissue collapsing and closing off the body’s airway, main to issues like sleep apnea.”

Body

“We are much more likely to overeat at times of stress, achieving for foods high in carbohydrates and sugars that release dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us sense top. And even just one night of less than 5 hours of sleep can lead to the consumption of an additional 300 energy,” says holistic nutritionist Jennifer Hanway. “Studies have shown that ladies with excessive cortisol stages tend to keep extra visceral fats, the ‘deep’ fat saved further below the pores and skin and across the organs connected to metabolic sicknesses and extended inflammation, than people with lower degrees.”

Coping Mechanisms

Whether it’s meditation or microneedling, turning off the stress faucet and undoing the damage that’s been completed are steps one and two if getting our our bodies returned on target.

According to Haemin Sunim, Buddhist trainer and writer of the mindfulness guide The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm and Mindful in a Fast-Paced World, taking time to unwind shouldn’t pressure us out more. “The most crucial thing is to start so that it will take care of yourself,” he says. “Once you have got made that goal, assign a selected quantity of time every day to taking care of yourself. If you handiest have some seconds, take a deep breath and smile. If you most effective have 10 minutes, stroll round and stretch. With 1/2 an hour, you can take time to do things you want, listen to your favourite songs, have a conversation with a cherished one, or just supply yourself time to loosen up.”

Dr. Hanna says changing your attitude is key. “Work from the lowest up to rebalance your brain and worried machine. Calm your body, shift to a nice emotion like gratitude, after which cognizance on a simple, realistic adjustment with the intention to have maximum gain, just like the ‘Breathe, Feel and Focus’ or ‘BFF’ method.” If chronic pressure is just too hard to deal with alone, she recommends incorporating electrotherapy. “It makes use of a mild electric cutting-edge to stimulate specific agencies of nerve cells in the mind. This nudges the frightened machine into a calmer nation.”

Working along Dr. Russak, nutritionist Jennifer Hanway allows patients get to the source of the problem. “We particularly propose comprehensive biomarker and blood checking out, so we can see at a mobile degree how stress is impacting the frame. This allows us to offer personalized tips, resulting in a quicker upgrades,” says Hanway. “We understand the pores and skin-gut connection,” adds Dr. Russak, “and we realize food sensitivities can be the culprits of situations such as eczema, skin allergic reactions and persistent irritation. Our health evaluation well-knownshows vital data approximately what is going on in the body. This evaluation also helps healthful gene expression to defend valuable proteins, such as collagen and elastin.”

Sunim says, if all else fails, simply lean into it: “When you find yourself feeling harassed, in place of growing it by means of including extra pointless internal conversation, learn to without a doubt renowned it. Stress is inevitable, however also important.”

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barbecuedphoenix · 7 years

Photo

(To read the full analysis, hit the blue ‘Photo’ button on the side of this post.)

When I picked this quote for Leiftan 2 months ago, I had no idea just how appropriate it might be. 0_o

Seeing that we have an elf, a vampire, and a faery-blood barbarian as potential love interests in the game, why would we want some obscure moon-child to round out the cast? Give us a straight-up demon. Sorry, I mean, ‘aengel’.

At any rate, with the latest revelations of this not-lorialet’s not-so-sweet side, I’ve made a few adjustments to all Leiftan-centric pieces on this blog, as well as to the group requests that feature him. If you’re interested, take a look. :) (Hint: he’s usually the fourth and/or last entry for group requests; those pieces are long, so feel free to skip straight to the good stuff.)

Analyses:

What would be their ideal partner?

Headcanons:

Cafe AU

Open Relationships, Part 2

Police Department AU, Part 1

Leiftan, from A - Z (C, E, S, X) [NSFW]

Leiftan, from A - Z (I, V, Z) [NSFW]

Leiftan’s Kinks [NSFW]

Scenarios:

How to seduce a clueless Guardian [NSFW]

What makes them jealous, and how they’ll react

Granted, I’m still a long ways away from playing Episode 17, so most of the information on Leiftan’s new Jekyll-and-Hyde persona was pulled from the spoilers that other players released on Tumblr. Thank you all for your reactions. ^_^

In fact, here’s mine: now I’m dusting off my poor, neglected Spanish account and speed-running through a Leiftan route. Because I think his story has gotten 2 magnitudes more interesting. And I don’t believe he is a full-blown psychopath.

Don’t shoot me as a Leiftan fan-girl. Let me explain.

True, he’s a seasoned actor with serious personal issues and a long-term scheme that’s bound to be bloody. But he does have a functional personality and moral compass of his own, even if they are subducted by a grim vendetta during that final scene in Ep. 17. (This would put him within, if not on the edge, of the sociopath class of mentally-unbalanced individuals: anti-social, deceptive, and amoral, but not thoroughly-malicious, controlling, and predatory like psychopaths.)

The main reason I believe this not-lorialet is not a psychopath: he has a functional love-o-meter. You can gain or lose approval depending on your personal responses to him, and/or the opinions you privately express about the Guard… and his reactions to you don’t often correspond to his long-term aims or how easily you give into him.

For example:

In Ep. 9, you can lose approval by trying to be optimistic about Mery’s chances when he disappears (at which Leiftan’s emotional responses will shut down). If you meet Leiftan later in the day and criticize his ongoing concern for Mery, his approval will drop still lower. The sympathetic response, in both cases, nets approval.

Again in Ep. 9, he gets (naturally) ticked-off if you call his familiar ‘difficult to handle’, but becomes really grateful if you tell him the damage is minimal (or are blunt in informing him how the little fiend woke you up).

If he’s your mission partner for clearing Yvoni’s ashes in Ep. 10, he’ll disapprove if you a.) refuse his help in recovering from your inglorious trip, and b.) get melodramatic and declare that Yvoni’s clearing has been devastated. For both cases, he’ll react happily if you offer jokes instead to lighten the mood; he’ll even briefly join you in goofing off and sitting down on the forest floor (though at the clearing, he’ll make an ominous comment on how destruction is just another form of creation.)

After clearing Yvoni’s ashes in Ep. 10 (accompanied by him or someone else), you can earn his censure if you refuse to discuss the mission honestly with him (that you both may have shared). Or if you went alone after he refused to accompany you, he’ll express concern at how you entered the forest alone. And will be far from thrilled if you blame him for refusing in the first place, or grow skeptical once he starts flirting.

For that same situation in Ep. 10, he’ll actually be flattered if you turn the conversation around and inquire about him instead. Even though he dodges the question and offers a short uninformative spiel about work, you’ll still see a rise in his approval.

Later on in Ep. 10, after your nightmare on Yvoni’s return, Leiftan will approve if you acknowledge your haggard appearance with a little joke. Whereas lying through your teeth on how you are nets his disapproval.

In Ep. 11, Leiftan won’t be ecstatic if you lecture him for skipping meals, whereas he’ll be grateful if you offer to share your lunch-breaks with him and chaperone him to make sure he eats.

After returning from Balenvia in Ep. 12, Leiftan will approve if you again apply a little sarcasm in admitting you’re upset, and disapproves if you refuse to tell him anything (when you are clearly upset).

And then there are some responses from past episodes that really raise some eyebrows on the principles he might value, especially now that we know his real roots and antipathy to the Guard:

In Ep. 8, you actually lose approval by criticizing the Guard’s level of organization for mission debriefs, and he’ll tersely admit that they’re doing what they can. Telling him instead that you enjoy making reports earns his approval. (My guess: he’s anal-retentive he appreciates organization, and people who respect a level of organization. Regardless of where they all happen to be working.)

Before the third and final recon mission in Ep. 9, Leiftan will disapprove if you tell him that you’re not thinking too much about the assignment, but he keeps his outward response minimal and wishes you good luck. (My interpretation: he doesn’t think highly of literal-minded agents who don’t question the system.)

In Ep. 13, after he tells you his alleged race, he actually gets disappointed if you call lorialets ‘selenites’, but approves if you keep your guess open-ended, and let him explain. (My assumption: he’s still anal-retentive he respects people who don’t misuse names, or casually throw around labels.)

Now if Leiftan’s emotional reactions from past episodes are all part of a ploy, if he’s a manipulative psychopath to the core whose only ambition is to witness the Guard burn, then he wouldn’t strongly approve or disapprove of any of your responses to him. He would have to show approval or disapproval to maintain his guise in the Light Guard, but his love-o-meter shouldn’t actually respond; that’s his emotional barometer, and if he has the emotional depth of a puddle (or a psychopath, colloquially-speaking), then it would read as a flat 0, or close to it.

So in practice, if Leiftan has no lasting sympathy or ethical system (which are the calling cards of a psychopath), his emotional reaction to others would be largely restricted to contempt. He wouldn’t internally respond to your changes in health, wellbeing, or safety, or the danger that finds young children. He wouldn’t be much affected by jokes, or displays of your concern/interest/consideration for him. He wouldn’t care one whit on the damage (or lack thereof) that Amaya causes for others. He wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you’re a thoughtful agent. Altogether, he wouldn’t care what you say or do, so long as you’re an easy victim.

In short, if Leiftan was written in advance as a traitor with no conscience or lasting empathy, then his approval system should be completely nonexistent. Or skewed to only respond-- shallowly-- to how easily you defer to him.

As Leiftan fans prior to Ep. 17 can tell you, that’s not the case.

Now I doubt Chi no Miiko and team would stick us with a fake love-o-meter for thirteen episodes (not including the first three). That will be pushing it when it comes to ‘trolling’ players, who’ll then have the right to consider if other love-o-meters are rigged. It’ll be more constructive for the team to instead foster more love triangles and expand the Leiftan fanbase with a route that is guaranteed potentially tragic. Starring a fourth LI who isn’t flat-out evil (which isn’t relatable anyway), but a troubled adversary who guards his heart carefully (which will satisfy both the original fans of ‘sweet’ Leiftan and those who’re now asking ‘will I die if I bang a demon?’).

And let’s not forget that this is the same game company that-- in MCL-- had you stand up to sexual aggressor Evan and (momentarily) dump his groupie Kentin. Even with genre and demographic differences, would they allow you to keep a quasi-crush option on a pure psychopath? Personally, that also smells like an abusive relationship to me.

Granted, Leiftan is definitely no angel. (Sorry, Leif; not with those eyes and horns.) All the others in the Light Guard should take notes from him on how to live a spectacular lie. And some of his actions cast doubt on why he approves of your trust in him: how much of it is because he benefits emotionally from your trust, and how much is because he can confirm that you’ll be less of an obstruction. But the rest of Leiftan’s behavior to you-- which results in quantitative drops or rises in his personal affinity, and thus demonstrates a value system-- falls outside the neat binary of “Hero of the Guard” / “Nemesis of the Guard”. And because of that, it doesn’t strike me as fair to paint him as simply a harbinger of evil who deserves an appointment with Mr. Constantine. More like a very flawed, very troubled man intent on catalyzing a storm in this life as the last demon left in the realm, but underdogs and/or crushes can still inspire the tenderness and protectiveness he once held in full as a boy.

Plenty of clues to his humanity (so to speak) have been dropped in the past, and a lot of questions left on his future. But personally, I don’t think it hurts to be optimistic with Beemov and this raven-winged aengel. ;)

For a little more general information on psychopathy and sociopathy, check out these articles:

What’s the difference between psychopaths and sociopaths?

How do psychopaths’ brains differ?

Do psychopaths genuinely lack empathy?

#Eldarya #motivationals #noncanon quotes #Leiftan #character analysis #Episode 17 spoilers #psychology

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AYA Analytica financial health memo August 2019

As of August 2019, this regular podcast is available on our Andy Yeh Alpha fintech network platform.

The conventional wisdom suggests that chameleons change their skin coloration in order to camouflage their presence for better survival through Darwinian biological evolution. This naive intuition seems so natural and nomological that most people tend to assume so on the basis of common sense. However, scientific research shows that chameleons run much faster than their predators. This fresh insight leads subsequent scientists to view camouflage as only part of the story for this functional skin coloration. More recent research suggests that chameleons typically vary their skin coloration to express social signals in response to other chameleons, external conditions, and physiological changes. Specifically, bright skin color signals an aggressive emotion while dark skin color reflects a submissive reaction. Overall, scientific research trumps basic intuition and common sense. The same idea applies to the economic science of dynamic asset management too. We often need to learn from fundamental factors in order to decipher economic insights into how macroeconomic fluctuations manifest in the cross-section of average asset returns. These fundamental factors include the return spreads between the top-to-bottom 30% of individual stocks for size, value, momentum, asset growth, cash profitability, and market risk exposure. Our proprietary alpha investment algorithm serves this fundamental purpose.

Santa-Barbara political economy professor Benjamin Cohen proposes new countercyclical fiscal stimulus to complement the current low-interest-rate monetary policy. Cohen indicates that global interest rates persist at low thresholds in the current decade. In all OECD and several other economies, low interest rates cannot bounce back too far from the zero lower bound during the global financial crisis. In Japan, Europe, and Switzerland, the risk-free interest rates fall below zero. In this context, the major central banks have little room for new interest rate reductions as the global economy gradually moves toward the next recession. In response to the current Sino-U.S. trade truce and Brexit economic uncertainty, Cohen proposes new fiscal stimulus as an alternative policy instrument for global economic revival. This new fiscal stimulus can manifest in the generic form of tax credits, transfer payments, and government expenditures in health care, infrastructure, education, and technology. Nevertheless, Cohen adds the cautionary caveat that lawmakers may remain reluctant to increase fiscal deficits on top of post-crisis national debt mountains. To the extent that legislators may become wary of potential backlash in midterm elections, it is important for politicians and technocrats to strike a better balance between democratic accountability and elite interest entrenchment.

Partisanship matters more than the relative socioeconomic influence of the rich and elite interest groups. This new trend emerges from the recent empirical analysis of 49 Senate votes on socioeconomic and foreign-policy issues from 2001 to 2015 as well as national survey data from Gallup and Pew. This empirical analysis shows that the rich elite income groups seem to get what they want from their senators about 60% of the time, whereas, the poor income groups receive a 55% fair chance. When these socioeconomic echelons oppose each other on both sides of a particular policy issue, Senate votes favor the rich with a significantly higher 63% fair chance. In this specific scenario where the rich and poor voters oppose each other on a given policy issue, Democratic senators side with the rich only 35% of the time, whereas, Republican senators vote in accordance with rich elite interests 86% of the time. Since Republicans now hold majority control in Senate, U.S. congressional decisions predominantly benefit the upper echelon because legislators often follow the party line. Affluent influence that results from U.S. partisan influence can be worrisome. However, the American median voter experience is not the same as living in an oligarchy.

Warren Buffett indicates that the current cap ratio of U.S. stock market capitalization to real GDP seems to be much higher than the long-run average benchmark. With the current cap ratio of 146.4x, U.S. stock market capitalization represents at least 146 times American national income per annum. This current cap ratio exceeds the long-run average benchmark of 80x by more than 80%, and is historically second to the peak of irrational exuberance near 148.5x during the dotcom bubble back in March 2000. From 2018Q3 to 2019Q2, the S&P 500 delivers a 12-month net profit of about $135 per share, and the S&P 500 aggregate share price rises to $3000+ per share. Thus, the equivalent S&P 500 P/E ratio hovers in the broad range of 22x to 24x. This narrow range well exceeds the long-run average benchmark of 15x to 16x. Long-term stock market capitalization and corporate profitability should move in tandem. If these key metrics stray too far apart, it can be prohibitively expensive for U.S. public corporations to get back to balance. From this fundamental perspective, the normal stock market forces may pull equity valuation back to the long-run average yardsticks relative to U.S. national income and corporate profitability.

Fundamental factors often reflect macroeconomic innovations and so help inform better stock investment decisions. Nobel Laureate Eugene Fama and his long-time co-author Ken French empirically discover that several fundamental factors help price the cross-section of average asset returns. These factors include the average return spreads between the top-and-bottom stock portfolios that the econometrician sorts on size, value, momentum, asset growth, cash profitability, and market risk exposure. In terms of stock market capitalization, small stocks often outperform large stocks by a significant 5%-7% factor premium. Value stocks consistently beat glamour stocks by a 7%-9% factor premium. Further, investors can earn hefty average returns on stocks with high recent price performance, low capital-intensive asset growth, high cash profitability, and low market risk exposure. AQR Capital investment practitioners find that both value and momentum factor premiums significantly persist in global asset markets. To the extent that factor premiums exhibit mutual causation with macroeconomic fluctuations, this causation serves as a new condition for fundamental factor selection. As investors learn from their behavioral biases, quirks, and other investment mistakes, these investors tilt their asset portfolios toward high factor premiums. This fundamental factor investment approach helps generate consistent supernormal average asset returns in the long run.

The recent British pound depreciation is a big Brexit barometer. Britain anoints former London mayor and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson as the new prime minister. The Conservative Party selects Johnson as the successor to Theresa May to set the stage for fresh Brexit negotiations with the European Commission. This change hits the pound with volatile exchange rate gyrations. The British pound sinks to the new lowest level of US$1.24 in 2017-2019. Johnson indicates that he would be keen to force Brexit with or without a post-May deal on October 31, 2019, which is the latest deadline for Britain to depart the European Union. Alternatively, Britons might consider a second referendum on Brexit with the backstop agreement for free flows of goods between Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic. Stock market analysts predict that leaving the European Union without a proper deal would plunge the U.K. into an economic recession due to Eurozone trade constraints and capital outflows. U.K. stock markets would fall 5% in light of a 2% decrease in economic output, and the pound would likely plummet 10%+. This prediction accords with what the U.K. Office for Budget Responsibility suggests in its recent report on the British economic outlook.

House Judiciary Committee summons senior executive reps of the tech titans to assess online platforms and their market power. These tech firms include Facebook, Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Amazon (F.A.M.G.A.). Congressional committee members focus on whether these tech giants abuse their clout to crush their rivals in social media, e-commerce, software, Internet search, and artificial intelligence. Antitrust scrutiny and tech compliance stem from the sheer size of F.A.M.G.A. and thus remain key bipartisan regulatory issues in America. F.A.M.G.A. represent the cumulative $4+ trillion equity valuation or almost 15% of U.S. stock market capitalization, and also amass $180+ billion in pre-tax profits or about 10% of pre-tax profits made by U.S. public corporations. In recent years, F.A.M.G.A. have spent billions buying rivals to stifle competition. The major merger deals include: (1) the $20 billion aggressive acquisitions of Instagram, WhatsApp, and Oculus by Facebook; (2) the $15 billion acquisitions of Whole Foods Market, CloudEndure, and PillPack by Amazon; (3) the $45 billion acquisitions of LinkedIn, Skype, GitHub, and Nokia by Microsoft; (4) the $16 billion acquisitions of DeepMind, Motorola, and Nest by Google; and (5) the $10 billion acquisitions of Beats, Dialog Semiconductor, Lattice Data, LinX, MapSense, PrimeSense, Semetric Music, Shazam, Topsy, and Turi etc by Apple.

Amazon faces E.U. antitrust scrutiny over the current e-commerce use of merchant data. The European Commission probes into whether Amazon uses third-party seller data to promote its own products to the detriment of other retailers. This antitrust investigation serves as an incremental step toward better characterizing Amazon e-commerce business practices. The preliminary inquiry helps reveal how tech titans such as Amazon may use customer information to reinforce their market power. The core concern arises from negative feedback from European third-party sellers, retailers, and manufacturers that Amazon has been trying to abuse its dual role as a direct e-commerce competitor and also as an online marketplace for merchants. Under the current Amazon terms of service for Europe, third-party sellers and other merchants grant Amazon royalty-free rights to use their product information, content, technology, and trademark design etc. European Competition Commissioner Margrethe Vestager indicates that global e-commerce platforms should not eliminate consumer benefits such as better product prices and choices through anti-competitive business practices. E.U. regulators can impose fines up to 10% of global sales; however, some antitrust experts point out the essential need for the European Commission to establish a new precedent of industry standards and best practices for cross-border e-commerce.

Netflix suffers its first major loss of U.S. subscribers due to the recent price hikes. The company adds only 2.7 million new subscribers in 2019Q2 in stark contrast to 5 million new subscribers that most stock analysts expect to see in the latest income statement. The disappointment suggests an inevitably high price elasticity of demand for Netflix media services and so causes the recent 11%-14% double-digit depreciation of Netflix shares. This issue poses a major challenge to the current unsustainable business model as Netflix faces fierce competition from numerous media service and content providers such as Amazon, Apple, Disney, HBO, NBC, WarnerMedia, and YouTube etc. Netflix may lose valuable subscribers who can choose to switch to several other original content providers. Specifically, WarnerMedia expects to confirm an exclusive license for HBO to stream one of the most popular TV shows, Friends, in addition to Pretty Little Liars and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Also, NBC seeks to secure the exclusive license for streaming all 9 seasons of The Office. With 150+ million premium subscribers worldwide, Netflix needs to carefully mull over the next strategic pivot for better monetization (such as online advertisement) to turn around the fundamental economic outlook.

Facebook reaches a $5 billion settlement with Federal Trade Commission over Cambridge Analytica user privacy violations. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) probes into prevalent user privacy practices across the social media ecosystem of Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, and WhatsApp. FTC commissioners break along party lines, 3-to-2, as the GOP majority votes line up to support the $5 billion settlement (whereas Democratic commissioners object this pact). This punitive fine is the single largest one against a tech titan by the FTC to date, but some progressive lawmakers remain furious primarily due to the controversial inadequacy of FTC curtailing future data leaks and breaches of the same sort of Cambridge Analytica. The Cambridge Analytica data debacle may have already compromised the personal data for about 87 million Facebook users. FTC requires Facebook to establish a new independent Privacy Committee of directors on the current corporate board. This committee would oversee all necessary audit functions to ensure strict compliance with FTC privacy rules and best practices. With 53% majority control rights, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg may inadvertently be able to influence the nomination and appointment of independent directors on the Privacy Committee. The current settlement can cause ripple effects on the broader corporate governance structure.

McKinsey Global Institute analyzes 315 U.S. cities and 3,000 counties in terms of how tech automation affects their workers in the next 5 to 10 years. This analysis indicates that the zip code of primary residence may be the most important determinant of the economic future for the middle class. The 25 U.S. mega-cities and their peripheries are home to about a third of the American workforce. These metropolitan areas are likely to continue to capture more than 60% of U.S. job growth in the next few years. By contrast, 54 suburban areas and 2,000 rural counties are home to only a quarter of the U.S. population, and these rural areas may suffer with virtually zero employment growth in the next decade. In this light, America is a mosaic of local economies that traverse on divergent economic trajectories. Robotic automation and artificial intelligence may inadvertently widen these economic disparities. The McKinsey report further indicates that the current tech trends may displace about 12 million Hispanic and African-American workers in the next few years. The government needs to invest in high education to build the American workforce of the new century, and this public investment should focus on closer employer-educator partnerships.

Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz maintains that globalization only works for a few elite groups; whereas, the government has to reassert itself in terms of both redistribution and regulation. The rich and elite interest groups have better socioeconomic opportunities than others. From college education to the family stock ownership of public corporations, these elite groups perpetuate their socioeconomic advantages from generation to generation. In most tech-savvy sectors, a few dominant tech titans such as Facebook, Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Amazon (F.A.M.G.A.) create almost insurmountable barriers to entry. Under the Trump administration, banks and insurance companies face less stringent macroprudential rules and regulations; public corporations and high net-worth individuals enjoy lower income taxes; big biotech and pharmaceutical firms and health insurance companies exploit millions of Americans with astronomical medicine prices. However, U.S. real wages stagnate for the bottom echelon of American society in the 60 years from 1959 to 2019. The current policy debate calls for greater government investments in infrastructure, education, technology, and environmental sustainability. The Federal Reserve should herald interest rate adjustments to better ensure inflation control, maximum sustainable employment, and financial market stabilization. Meanwhile, the Treasury should exercise fiscal prudence and discipline in national debt and budget deficit management.

Kobe Bryant and several other star athletes have been smart savvy investors. In collaboration with former Web.com CEO Jeff Stibel, the NBA champion invests in lean enterprises via the venture capital fund Bryant Stibel. This venture capital fund places $200+ million equity stakes in a new sports drink BodyArmor, an online education platform VIPKid, a video game design company Scopely, an online legal technology firm LegalZoom, a smart restaurant brand Reserve, and an enterprise sales management platform RingDNA. The Bryant Stibel venture capital return on investment in a big boon to the entrepreneurial ideology of sports star interests in technology, media, big data, and artificial intelligence etc. Several other superstar athletes invest in their next passions with the same entrepreneurial spirit. For instance, the tennis champion Serena Williams takes an active equity interest in the meal delivery service Daily Harvest, and her sister Venus Williams invests in a financial app Ellevest that empowers women to better save for retirement. Also, the Golden State Warriors super star Kevin Durant invests in a delivery service company Postmates, an investment app Acorns for millennials, a drone company Skydio, and a scooter brand LimeBike. Lean startup investments can reap handsome rewards with reasonable diversification.

Conor McGregor learns a major money lesson from LeBron James. This vital money lesson suggests that James spends about $1.5 million on his own body each year. The $1.5 million annual expenditure includes all of the costs of his home gym and trainers, chefs, nutritionists, and massage therapists. To continue to be fit as an NBA superstar, James understands the self-discipline rule that he should eat-and-train well. This important investment empowers James to remain at the top of professional basketball. To the extent that LeBron James continues to be a competitive athlete, Conor McGregor also intends to remain fit in combat sports. McGregor has been known as one of the flashiest fighters in his UFC profession. In recent years, McGregor makes millions of dollars per year and has launched his own popular whisky brand Proper No.12 and an apparel line August McGregor. He buys designer suits and fast cars, and he travels on luxury yachts. As soon as McGregor learns the vital money lesson from LeBron James, McGregor halts his spending spree to invest more on his own body. This wise investment can pay off well in the forms of better health, fitness, motivation, and commitment to his lifelong pursuit.

Former basketball star Shaq O'Neal has almost quadrupled his net worth once he learns and applies an ingenious investment strategy from Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos. In light of this ingenious strategy, Bezos evaluates prospective investment projects in terms of whether these equity investments change and enrich the economic lives of others. O'Neal indicates that he has almost quadrupled his net worth once he implements this strategy with his personal equity investments in Apple, Google, Las Vegas nightclubs, and fast food franchises (such as Krispy Kreme, Five Guys, Auntie Anne, and Papa John). In terms of his personal preferences, O'Neal points out that Google equity stakes have been his best investment by far. Also, O'Neal most enjoys his equity investment in the Krispy Kreme doughnut chain because he is a big fan of fresh doughnuts. This reasonable mix of fast food, entertainment, and technology allows O'Neal to diversify his equity stakes across several prosperous industries. The information exchange between Bezos and O'Neal illuminates the fundamental value of equity investment. Stock ownership can be a sound and efficient investment vehicle for angel investors such as Bezos and O'Neal to be the positive change that they would like to see in the world.

China continues to sell U.S. Treasury bonds amid Sino-American trade truce uncertainty. In mid-2019, China reduces its U.S. Treasury bond positions by $20.5 billion to $1.12 trillion. These Treasury bond positions reach their lowest level or 5% of U.S. government debt in 2017-2019 amid Sino-American trade conflict and economic policy uncertainty. The Chinese Xi administration may use its current status as the top Treasury debtholder as leverage in the next round of trade negotiations. In response, the Chinese renminbi hovers in the broad range of 6.69x-6.97x per U.S. dollar during the recent time frame. Some investment bankers speculate that as the largest foreign owner of U.S. government bonds, China may employ the nuclear option by offloading lots of Treasury bonds to trigger subsequent interest rate hikes in America. These interest rate hikes may inadvertently cause collateral damage to the U.S. economy. However, Lowy Institute senior fellow Richard McGregor offers the fresh economic insight that China cannot easily manipulate its U.S. Treasury bond portfolio with no negative impact on the Chinese currency and current account deficit. U.S. trade envoy Robert Lighthizer and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin expect to meet the Chinese hardliners for bilateral trade discussions in Shanghai from late-July to mid-August 2019.

U.S. and Chinese trade negotiators hold constructive phone talks after Presidents Trump and Xi exchange conciliatory gestures at the G20 summit in Japan. Both presidents agree to a mutual trade truce with 25% tariffs on only $200+ billion Chinese imports (but no further tariffs on the other $325 billion Chinese goods). U.S. trade envoy Robert Lighthizer and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin reconnect with Chinese Vice Premier Liu He and Commerce Minister Zhong Shan in their next effort to resolve relentless Sino-American trade disputes. Both sides agree to resume constructive discussions to ease fears of further trade war escalation after an awkward hiatus as of mid-2019. Bilateral trade talks continue even though the Trump team accuses Chinese trade technocrats of reneging on their prior commitments to a major landmark deal. U.S. trade reps emphasize the essential need for China to institute legal changes in the current system of state capitalism, whereas, Chinese trade envoys refrain from engaging in prohibitively costly U.S. export procurement and intellectual property protection and enforcement under Section 301 of the U.S. Trade Act of 1974. At any rate, both trade teams seek to reframe the current bilateral trade conflict before it becomes an unnecessary tech cold war.

U.S. inflation has become sustainably lower than the 2% policy target in recent years. As Harvard macrofinance professor Robert Barro indicates, U.S. inflation has remained low and stable since the federal funds rate peaked at 22% in the early-1980s. The Federal Reserve upholds the Taylor interest rate rule that the federal funds rate should increase by more than the next probable rise in inflation. This monetary policy rule accords with the U.S. congressional dual mandate of price stability and maximum sustainable employment. In most New Keynesian macroeconomic models, interest rate adjustments can cause real movements in inflation, employment, and the economic output gap due to monopolistic competition and sticky-price persistence. Former IMF chief economist Olivier Blanchard and his MIT PhD student Jordi Gali empirically show that solo price stabilization would be equivalent to trying to stabilize both deviations of general prices and output gaps from their respective targets. Blanchard and Gali refer to this macroeconomic stabilization rule as the divine coincidence. However, the divine coincidence may disappear due to real wage rigidities and financial market imperfections. On balance, mainstream macroeconomic models cannot plausibly explain the recent great moderation of low inflation near 1.5%-2% despite gradual and consistent interest rate cycles.

The Phillips curve becomes the Phillips cloud with no clear trade-off between inflation and unemployment. Stanford macrofinance professor John Cochrane disagrees with Harvard macro economist Greg Mankiw with respect to the mysterious and inexorable trade-off between inflation and unemployment. It is difficult to depict a downward Phillips curve for the post-war period because there is no conclusive trade-off between inflation and unemployment. This empirical result remains true even when we consider alternative measures of inflation such as the deflator for personal consumption expenditures (PCE) and core consumer price index (CPI) inflation less food and energy. Also, the empirical result continues to hold in practice when we consider the economic output gap in lieu of the unemployment rate. Cochrane suggests no necessary trade-off between inflation and unemployment in the Phillips cloud. In other words, the Phillips curve is too flat to be true. This analysis poses a conceptual challenge to New Keynesians who seek to achieve the Federal Reserve dual mandate of price stability and maximum sustainable employment. The central bank can constrain money supply growth as a potential source of economic disturbance; yet, the long-term welfare cost of low inflation has no real impact on economic output, employment, and capital investment.

Many young and mid-career Americans fall into the financial distress trap in rural communities. A recent analysis of 25,800 zip codes for 99% of the U.S. population compares the consecutive periods from 2007-2011 to 2012-2016. The primary reasons for U.S. rural distress include a lack of educational attainment, subpar mortgage affordability, unemployment, low income, and stagnant business investment. Many young and mid-career Americans experience the catch-22 situation with disproportionate student debt, credit card debt, and mortgage delinquency etc. There is no clear path for these less fortunate Americans to afford moving from the rural areas to more prosperous metropolitan areas. In the absence of better job opportunities, rural communities remain economically subpar places of residence. About 65% of the U.S. rural population lives east of the Mississippi River, and half of the rural residents are in the south. Education represents the faulty line between prosperous and economically subpar communities. Specifically, prosperous zip codes contain more than 27 million adults with tertiary education, whereas, there are fewer than 5 million adults with equivalent levels of educational attainment in economically subpar communities from Louisiana, New Mexico, and West Virginia to Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi. Economic inequality remains a major socioeconomic issue in America.

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#stock market #economy #economics #investment #finance #personal finance #trade #international trade #interest rate #federal reserve

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