#which erm. Took A While to say the least

[cubezart]

i don't really know how to caption this i just watched this movie again and had some Thoughts

[vhstown]

'til the breath returns

— hobie brown x gn!reader (dissociation comfort)

summary: It's hard to stay in your own body sometimes. At least Hobie's right there with you.

warnings: v self-indulgent (so may not be a very accurate depiction of dissociation erm...), dissociation / derealisation / depersonalisation (those terms are distinct but just in case :p), anxious behaviour, hurt/comfort-ish, hobie is trying his best? (he's not ur therapist but it's okay) & not proofread

word count: 1.9k

a/n: been struggling to get out of a dp/dr funk recently so. here we are! no gif lemme keep this one on the down-low fr 😭 img is of camden town from pinterest

🕸️📞🎸

"Hello? Hello...?"

The muscles in your shoulders tightened at the sound of the voice, obscurely louder than anything else around you — around you being the market, that was. Just how long had you been here?

You felt a burning ache in your eyes as you looked around, taking in the blur around you before meeting the expression of the man in front of you. The owner of the food truck, of course. He had an impatient look on his face, but it was too much detail to be anxious about.

"Sorry, uh..." you offered quietly, cut off by another loud voice behind you.

"Just hurry up and pay, mate! We haven't got all day!"

Your jaw tensed, crunching uncomfortably as you fumbled for something in your pockets. Trying to find cash of some sort, the world became still again, and you could barely register what they were saying before you put whatever you could find on the window sill of the truck.

Something that sounded unpleasant, another shout, maybe, followed behind you as you walked out into the open pavements of the market. Your hands felt funny, breath dry and head heavy and so light at the same time. It felt like you were floating, but also sinking so deep under water you were moving slow motion against the thick water. It was somewhat comforting, that image.

Maybe you should just sit down, let yourself fall backwards and sink. Maybe you'd wake up in bed, and fully be able to open your own eyes again. When was the last time you could do that? When was the last time you woke up? This morning, surely. It seemed so far away; maybe you should walk home, find home — it was somewhere near here. Where were you walking?

Why was the ground getting so close to your face—

"Hey, hey! Oi!"

Before your weight could fall forward anymore, you felt a hand move around your stomach. Tongue stinging too, you realise you'd bitten it. The urgent touch became more gentle, as the haste wore off and you were helped to your feet. You tried to pick up the sounds to form a "thank you", but all you could do was stare strangely as you met a face you could just about recognise.

"Don't mean to scare you, darling."

It was your boyfriend, is what you told yourself. Hobie.

"Didn't get your change..." He held out the coins in his hand, some of which were probably already yours . "And you're trippin' over yourself."

It would sound too weird if you tried to laugh, so you didn't bother.

"My bad, just out of it." Right, is what he must've thought.

"Been out of it for a while, huh?" He taps your cheek twice, bringing your attention to him. You hadn't realised you'd been staring dead straight into his chest — not anywhere near his face. "Your patty's all squashed, love."

His fingers moved gently between yours, prying the poor warm paper from your hand. The patty you had bought had started to singe the tips of your fingers, and the tips of your fingers had already broken apart the bread of the patty.

You didn't have much will to complain, but the corners of Hobie's mouth turned down in a frown. He took your hand, the pad of histhumb brushing the lingering heat off of your fingers

"What's going on? You hungry? Tired? Upset...?" All you could give him was a useless shrug — it'd probably be easier to fix if you could describe it; if only. "Hm..."

The back of his hand was cold against your forehead. Or maybe you were cold; he never really got cold after all.

"You wanna go home?"

"Hm?" you murmured, Hobie observing you. You weren't supposed to go home; you'd get over it. Fresh air and a walk was supposed to help, anyway — not like it was. "Thought you wanted to stay."

"We can always come back another time. You don't look like you're enjoying yourself."

His hand moved to your shoulder, brushing his lips over your forehead. It was definitely you that was cold.

"I think you should have my patty, too," he added, placing his in your hand.

Arm moving fully around your shoulder, the two of you started to walk back.

"It'll be warm out, soon," Hobie comments, as if trying to be inconspicuous. He pulls you closer to mams for a lady walking her dogs: little white lap dogs that turned their heads to look at you, or maybe Hobie. You tried to remember if the last time you saw them was today or last week.

"Ah, yeah..." you said, realising he was waiting for you to say something — something of more substance, probably.

"Sure bloody hope so," he continued, something like humour in his voice. "Been freezing my bum off for the past month."

Your steps felt big against the ground, like the ground was pushing back up, and you were going to float away if Hobie let you go. All you could do was just hope he didn't.

"It better not rain, though. I'll go mad if it does. Nothing's good in the rain, 'specially not food. Meant to have a street party soon."

Remembering the patty in your hand, you took a bite before Hobie had to remind you. It was veg — not beef like he'd usually have. In fact, he complained about the veg usually. Still, today, he'd wanted a veg patty. You held onto that fact like it was the first thing you'd ever been told, as you walked together.

As he continued talking, you had reached the riverside. It looked onwards to the canal, the water coloured by the orange sun. Everything always looked so different on the way back; the air was still, and it was evening by now.

"Mine or yours?" Hobie asks, as you reach the by-street.

"Mine, if you come with me."

"I ain't gonna leave you behind, or nothin'."

He cracks a smile, and you reach for his hand time time as you took the turn to your home. There were shops that passed by, but you didn't pay enough attention to figure out what they were.

And you weren't sure when you ended up in bed, probably after making conversation for a bit and changing, because you were now in your own bed, arms and legs and Hobie's chest encasing you in a relaxed hug. You were wearing a shirt that fit weirdly on you. It was likely his — the one shirt he had without lint on it. His head wasn't entirely on your shoulder, but he was close enough to press a kiss to your temple — it left a warm, tingling feeling, as did the rest of his weight against you.

"Is there something wrong specifically?" he asks, voice a quiet, smooth vibration next to you.

"Dunno, I just... feel weird. Mentally, I mean," you admit, turning your head to lean it against his. "I think this is helping, though."

"Yeah? You want me to do anything else?" You just wanted to keep yourself awake; you wanted to keep hearing his voice.

"Want to hear you talk more."

"As long as you talk as well." Your quiet sigh was audible enough to him, it seemed. "C'mon love, you've gotta talk, or you'll be stuck up there forever."

With your demeanor seeming to give up with you, he pressed another kiss to your face, near the corner of your mouth this time. It usually got a smile out of you, but you didn't know if you had the energy to. He lingered there, still.

"How about we start with right now?" he muttered, hand on your shoulder. "You gonna tell me about those new decorations in your room? Or all those new clothes in your closet? Or how your bathroom doesn't have the nice-tasting toothpaste anymore?"

"Hobie... What the hell..." You frowned. And then the smallest laugh escaped out of you, because you frowned, and then he laughed, because it was all he really needed.

"I'm serious, though. Let's start from the top?"

"Like... from when I was born?" That got a laugh out of him, thankfully. Your smile, though little, didn't seem to disappear just yet.

"Well, if you want," he replied, pulling his arms tighter around your sides. "I was thinking more like, this morning?"

This morning... A little worry creeped inside your stomach as you came to face how little you could really recount right now. The light brush of Hobie's thumb against your cheek kept you at bay, however, and you took in a deep breath.

"Well, today... we went to the market together," you started, taking his hand from your shoulder and holding it in your own. You toyed idly with his fingers, thumb brushing over his rings as your mind fell into blankness again.

"And it rained all morning," Hobie said, after a beat of silence, fingers gently squeezing yours.

"And... this little kid slipped in the mud," you murmured.

"Ah, he did. Rough, weren't it?"

"Mhm," you replied, and at the silence, you tried to continue. "Poor thing. His dad looked horrified."

The quiet chuckle against your back made your words seem somewhat more trustworthy, and you finally decided to just let yourself speak, about anything that came to mind.

"...And then we went to look at clothes. None of them were your size."

"Couldn't believe it..." Hobie commented, murmuring.

"And then we... got lost for a bit. Ended up in this shop that sold china."

"Oh yeah, there were those funny bird-lookin' ones."

"And then we walked around for a bit..."

Truthfully, he wasn't sure if it was actually helping or not, but at the very least, that fuzzy look in your eyes that scared him a bit had eased

"And now we're home," you concluded, and he kissed the side of your head as if to confirm.

"Yep. Where are we?" The question was pretty straightforward, but you took the chance to answer regardless.

"In my room... On my bed." The mattress creaked just a little as you readjusted your position, moving closer against him. "And I'm still with you."

"Uh-huh. Still here."

"It's getting dark out, though." Looking out at the dimming sky through your window, you took another breath in, not as deep as you would've liked.

"I can stay," Hobie reassured. His voice gave no reason for you to doubt it.

"Could you?"

"A hundred percent. Not a second I don't wanna spend with you."

Hobie brushed his nose against yours, before pressing a momentary kiss to your lips.

"Look," he started, voice low and soft, slightly more serious. "I'm not exactly sure how to help, but whatever you need, I'll be here."

Turning to face him again, you returned his kiss, holding it a little longer to feel the warmth of his lips against yours. Hobie held you like you were the world, and everything in it; if you didn't need to, at least you wanted to.

"Can we just keep talking?" Your voice sounded different, but not strange — a bit less tense, more certain.

"We can talk about anything you want; we've got all night."

You narrowed your eyes in thought for a moment, and he looked at you as if he already knew what you were thinking.

"...Could you scratch my back too?"

Hobie grinned, and so warmly — so easily. You felt a smile tug at your lips too, breath sinking back into your chest and the ever-present weight starting to lift from your body.

"Yeah, sweetheart — of course. Want me to switch the light off?"

You decided to nod, saving your words for when you finally laid in the darkness, curled up against him. Murmuring soft, yet sure words between each other, his fingers grazed your back in a gentle back-and-forth, and as your voice faded, he pressed another kiss to your forehead, pulling you further into him and the covers.

Breath quiet and even, you inevitably drifted into sleep. His hand was still on your back, feeling each breath of yours as it came and went, like the shore lapping against the land. And he'd breathe right with you, even when you couldn't hear him — even if he'd have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Always, he promised himself, and you. Always, until your breath returned — until you returned.

🕸️📞🎸

thank you for reading urrrr never written a comfort fic before n ik this is kind of diff but hopefully some of my usual stuff soon 🙏

rbs appreciated if u liked it, atsv masterlist here!

@phoenixinthefiles @qiupachups

[iheart-alastor]

Alastor x Fem! Reader who can control sound

I've made this out of pure bordem before I go to sleep if you want me to continue it and possibly make it into a chapter I will put a poll at the bottom of it for you to answer!

(Baso reader in this can control peoples voice and certain objects what create sounnd like a tv or radio/anything what sound comes from)

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Alastor was on air again talking about the early 1900s and how life was until a huge screech sound ripples through his broadcast and cut it off. Completely before a loud laugh came through his microphone he looked at it in annoyance and confusion 'what was going on' before a voice came through it one more "Will you Shut the fuck up about the 1900s you fossil god it's so sad" a glitchy voice said to him. He knew it wasn't his actual mic heavens no why would it talk to him like that anyway he cleared his throat before asking "And who is this may I ask interrupting my broadcast is very bold of you" he asked in a stern voice trying to find out which desperate soul was trying to get on his nerves "Erm nonya business you old prick I was just doing people a favor from having to listen to yap about how it was to live with the dinosaurs" the voice said teasingly. Alastor scoffed at this comment "Oh dear once I find out who you are I will make sure to tear each of your limbs off for disrespecting me" he said as his antlers grew larger "ooo so scary I'm gonna shit myself, omg you're so edgy it's actually making me feel sick!" The voice said before laughing like a maniac before it stopped communicating with him

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

Later on you was walking through town after ruining the radio demons broadcast, you're glad you've only just got in hell as he won't know who you are but making sure you don't interact with him anyway so he doesn't recognize your voice. Coincidentallya you bumped into someone pulling you out of your thought you stumbled back onto your ass before letting out a loud groan you looked up to see the radio demon standing there. The streets were quiet, empty, the only people noticeable were sinners who watched the situation from alleys. "Well my dear looks like you've taken quite the stumble!" Alastor said jokingly following it with a laugh at his own joke before he reached his hand out for you to grab onto. You took his hand and pulled yourself up and whispering a thanks before looking away. Hopefully he doesn't recognize your voice even if you whisper. "Do I know you dear you sound very familiar" you froze in place at the question and it made your already dead heart feel like it had stopped pumping "Uhm, no I don't think so I've only gotten into hell" you said trying to change the tone of your voice the excuse was half true as you had only gotten into hell at least over a week ago now you knew a majority of the overlords especially alastor. "Oh well you must not know me then! The names alastor pleasure to meet you darling what a pleasure" he says while taking your hand and landing a kiss on your knuckles "Well.. Hi alastor the names y/n" you say while nuzzling your head into your shoulder flustered at his gesture nobody had ever kissed your hand before. Probably because you grew up in a generation whats slowly loosing their manners, you was also glad you hadn't told alastor about your name whilst you interrupted his broadcast as you really don't want to make up a name alastor chuckled at your reaction to him kissing your hand "Y/n? What a beautiful name darling very beautiful I must say do tell me y/n do you easily get flustered?" Fuck why was he so polite? You would of already fell for him if you forgot that you just interrupted his broadcast an hour before bumping into him. If he knew who you was you'd be dead already! "Uhm no I just wasn't expecting such manners coming from a generation of people who have none it's quite rare" you say before laughing "oh do tell me my dear your generation is crazy! Respectless, sex deprived and don't know how to treat a lady as fine as yourself!" You chuckled before going back to thinking did he always act like this being flirtatious? Because gosh if not he may be wooing you on accident although your supposed to be rivals!

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[kimbappykidding]

Imagine thinking Joshua is only nice to you because he’s a good person but your friends Vernon and Seungkwan trying to convince you it’s actually because he has a crush on you

Like most people, the first interaction you had with Seventeen was through their residential social butterfly Seungkwan. When he found out you were a similar age to him he decided you were going to be friends. When he learned you spoke English and had moved to Korea to become an idol he introduced you to Vernon without a second thought. It was a really nice move on Seungkwan's part and you quickly became friends with Vernon through the bonding of being born in another country. However, you weren't American but British, which the other members reacted very strongly to. They found your accent funny and told Vernon and Seungkwan to bring you around so they could make you say things in your accent. That's how you met Joshua.

He came downstairs one day to hear someone speaking English but in a very different way to him or Vernon. When he walked in he realised it was you and smiled hearing the English accent. He actually found the accent pretty hot but he didn't make that obvious. Instead he introduced himself to you and soon you had two friends who understood your situation. Joshua especially understood what it was like to leave your family and home far behind and he seemed to make it his mission to make you feel comfortable here. You soon learned Joshua was very caring and sweet, he never hesitated to help you and you began to be very fond of him. He’d even put a lot of effort into befriending your (now ex) boyfriend NCT's Mark, Joshua was that good a friend. You and Mark had been together for nearly three years when you broke up. You'd met as trainees and had a very sweet relationship. You were both so innocent and naive when you got together and you’d been each other's everything...for a while at least. When you both debuted things changed. Fame and popularity altered things and you'd noticed how you'd slowly been growing apart. You finally worked up the courage to break up with him and everything had been very amicable. When you broke up with Mark and told Seventeen you thought they were all extremely kind and sympathetic...but Vernon and Seungkwan had a different view. 

"Did you see Joshua's face?" Seungkwan asked when you all retired to his room. You shrugged "erm no but he told me that he was very sorry for me and that I could vent to him whenever I needed to". Vernon smirked "I bet he did". You sighed aware that Vernon and Seungkwan had a theory Joshua was into you. "Okay and what was your opinion on what happened then?" you asked. Seungkwan smiled "Joshua's eyes lit up and then he quickly realised you were upset and his concern for you took over but he was definitely pleased". "Definitely" Vernon agreed and you rolled your eyes "Joshua does not have a thing for me!". "Ow come on y/n you must notice how sweet and attentive he is to you?" Vernon asked "you only have to look around for something and he's asking what you need, or tonight when you couldn't reach your glass and without even hesitating he swoops in to save you". You blushed, getting flustered with the idea but still didn't believe it yet. "Joshua is just a really nice guy, he's literally known as the gentleman!" you cried. "Yes but he's not just nice to you because of simple politeness, with you it's different". "I'm not too sure" you shrugged and Seungkwan shook his head "why can’t you ever let yourself believe you're good enough? You're a great girl y/n, Joshua would be insanely lucky to have you" getting teary. He always got this way when he got wine drunk and you and Vernon shared a smile. 

"Thank you Seungkwan" you said taking his hand "it's not that I don't like myself it's just I struggle seeing what you guys do. I think Joshua is just nice to me because he knows what it's like to be from another country, the same way we became friends" you said to Vernon. Vernon nodded "sure that might've been it at first but I'm your friend now because of so much more than that and it's the same for Joshua. You're now fluent in Korean, have a house here and belong...Joshua is just interested in you. Accept it". You grinned at Vernon's tone "why is it so important to you guys that I do?". "Because then you and Joshua can finally become a couple like the whole group wants!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon shot him a look. "What?" you asked confused and Vernon laughed awkwardly "nothing...just the members kind of ship the two of you". "What? Does Joshua know?". Vernon nodded "they sometimes tease him but it's just a bit of fun! Like how we tell Mingyu he's gonna marry his reflection". "All of you ship us?" you asked. Seungkwan nodded "yeah because we see how you look at each other and how Joshua used to look at Mark". You laughed "Joshua and Mark were friends!". "Yeah but not friendly...more Mark was important to you so Joshua was civil to him but he never liked him, he actually had a go at him one time". "What?" you asked and Vernon nodded "yeah we were at this nightclub and Mark was there. It was when you were ill and Joshua went over and asked how you were and basically heavily hinted Mark should go home and look after you or he would. Mark left like five minutes later". You remembered that night, Mark had appeared early from his night out and you thought it was such a kind and sweet gesture...but apparently it wasn't even his idea. It had been Joshua all along. "Wow I didn't know...does Joshua do stuff like that a lot?". "All the time for you!" Seungkwan cried "you just never seem to notice". You nodded "well I'll try paying more attention now do you want to play uno or something?".

After that, what Vernon and Seungkwan told you about Joshua largely slipped your mind as you were busy with work and training. So you were really relieved when you finally had some free time and went out with Vernon, Seungkwan and their members. You were having a nice night and really enjoying being with your friends. You did notice how good Joshua looked but figured he was always handsome so you checking him out didn’t mean anything...Seungkwan and Vernon had different views but you were too tipsy to argue so just humoured them. 

You were passing through a room coming back from the toilet when you spotted a familiar face. Mark was there and he wasn’t alone, he was sat with a girl and they clearly were not friends. You backed away from the scene as if you’d been struck by lightning and felt panic begin to build in your chest. You felt like the lights and music were too powerful and you couldn’t calm down no matter how much you tried to. You weren't sure why it affected you so much. You and Mark had broken up over 3 months ago now. It had been amicable and you'd both sensed it coming for so long....so why did you feel so hurt? 

You didn't know what you were feeling all you knew was you had to get out of the room so you quickly backtracked the way you came and rushed outside. You banged into several people in your rush but barely noticed them. You finally made it outside and let the cold air wash over you. The wind was piercing but it helped you to breathe so you didn't even feel the coldness of it. You had your eyes closed trying to stop the tears but it didn't work. You jumped when a hand touched you. "Y/n what are you doing out here it's freezing!" Joshua cried quickly wrapping his jacket around you. "I'm fine..." you said but your hands wouldn't stop shaking. "What happened?" Joshua asked seeing the tears running down your cheek. You struggled to speak and only managed to say “Mark” but that was enough for Joshua. “He’s here? What has he done?  "has he said something to you? I swear if he has...". "No" you said shaking your head "he...I just don't want to be here anymore". Joshua nodded "would you like me to take you home?". You shook your head "no I can't ruin your night". "You won't be, trust me. I won't be able to enjoy myself if I know you're upset anyway. Come on let me take you home and we can talk if you want?" he asked. You nodded "okay" and Joshua led you to the exit, keeping close to you but never presuming to touch you. Once outside again you felt better and Joshua quickly got you to his car and opened the door for you. Then he walked around to his door and slid in beside you. He gave you a small smile and passed you his phone "play anything you want or we can just drive in silence. Whatever you want". You nodded and tearfully chose a random playlist.

You arrived back outside your house in what felt like no time and Joshua hesitated in the driveway. “We’re here...do you want to be alone or would you like some company?" Joshua asked. You weren’t really sure how you were feeling but you knew if you went into the empty house alone you’d just start crying. "Can you stay? How about we watch a film?" you offered and Joshua nodded "sounds great" and parked. Once inside you got changed while Joshua went to make some hot chocolates. You met in the living room and while the tv was loading Joshua looked at you. "So it's fine if you don't want to but would like to talk about what happened?" he asked and you sighed "I feel so stupid really...I saw Mark with another girl and it just hurt. I don't even know why! I'm happy we broke up and I don't want him back but I saw it and freaked out...what's wrong with me?". "Nothing!" Joshua assured you "y/n you and Mark were together for years, it's bound to scare you when you see him with someone new. It doesn't mean you're weird or still want him. It's normal". "It is?" you asked and Joshua nodded "when my first girlfriend dumped me I was a mess for months and months, still if I meet someone with her name it makes me feel vulnerable and weird for a few seconds". "That's what it was! I felt so vulnerable and alone! Like he was moving on and I wasn't...does that make me really immature and petty?". Joshua shook his head "not at all, but you know you're not vulnerable or alone right? You have all your members and friends not to mention, me, Seungkwan, Vernon and all the other members. We're all here and always will be". You blushed "thank you that means a lot, I'm glad I met you". Joshua smiled back "I'm glad I met you too y/n" and you just enjoyed the moment for a few seconds. 

As you watched Joshua you saw the way he was staring at you, the way his eyes looked at you with so much care and adoration and your heart sped up as you recognised what Vernon and Seungkwan meant. Joshua quickly caught himself though and moved away from you. He would never make a move on a girl while she's emotionally vulnerable so he did the responsible thing and turned to you with an innocent smile "so what film should we watch? You picked last time but I guess I can let you choose again". You smiled back at him and took the remote from his hands, ignoring how your heart fluttered when your hands met. 

After that it was like your whole world had been turned upside down. You couldn't stop watching Joshua out of the corner of your eye and later when he left your stomach did back flips as he hugged you and told you to call anytime if you needed him. You lingered slightly and blushed as he stared at you with those beautiful eyes. Once he'd gone everything felt different and things even looked different. You were no longer upset over Mark, you had this excited feeling in your chest because you were pretty sure you'd fallen for Joshua. The next morning you asked Seungkwan and Vernon to grab a coffee and met them around the corner from your house. Once you were seated you sighed "okay so I've got something to admit. You might've both been right this entire time" you said looking down. Vernon didn’t get what you meant but Seungkwan did. He leapt at you with a huge grin on his face "you finally see it! You see how he looks at you". Vernon grinned "Joshua?" and you nodded "how did I miss it?". "Honestly when you were with Mark you didn't see it because you were his girlfriend and only interested in him but I think now, finally, you don't have that blinding you. What happened? How did you realise?". You explained the situation and the two were soon acting like school children, squealing and grinning at you. "Y/n you have to come to Joshua's birthday barbeque next week and tell him!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon nodded "totally!". "But I thought that was for members only?" you asked. Seungkwan shrugged "so? We're doing it for Joshua and what better way to make him happy than having you there?". You blushed at how sweet that was and Seungkwan continued. "You should totally come just before we eat too! Make a grand entrance". Vernon nodded "yes make it more dramatic". "Oww and wear that red dress you wore to Vernon's birthday party! Remember the way Joshua's eyes nearly popped out?". Vernon hit his arm but you were now very okay with the idea of Joshua finding you attractive. "Okay I'll do it!" you said feeling confident. That confidence of course had completely faded by the time the event actually rolled around. "But what if it all goes wrong?" you texted into your group chat with Seungkwan and Vernon. "Not possible" Vernon replied instantly. "Yeah, he's going to be so happy to see you. Are you near?" Seungkwan asked. "I've been parked outside for five minutes". "Y/n! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Seungkwan replied. So you got out and nervously made your way to the front door. Vernon was helpfully waiting there and he grinned when he saw you "come let's put your stuff inside and then take you to Joshua". You blushed "what if he doesn't actually like me?". "You're only saying that because you're nervous. it's all going to be great" Vernon told you and you chose to believe him. You found Seungkwan inside and he rushed over to hug you. "You look smoking! Joshua is going to be on the floor". You just turned even redder and Vernon laughed "come on let's get her outside" and you followed them. You could hear the other members talking now but couldn't see them as Vernon and Seungkwan blocked you from their view by walking in front of you.  "Have we got room for one more?" Seungkwan called and dramatically moved out of the way so you were revealed. "Y/n?" Joshua called and you smiled "hey, I hope it's okay I came, I brought alcohol and presents". "Of course it is but you didn't have to bring anything!" Joshua said rushing over to hug you. The other members smirked as he practically ran and threw his arms around you. "Happy Birthday!" you smiled hugging him back and Joshua was beaming. "Thank you so much for coming...would you like a drink?". Joshua led you over to the bar and the members all smiled. "We all woke him up bang on midnight, arranged a skype home and threw him this party but we didn't get a smile even close to that" Scoups said grinning "he's so smitten it's cute". "Vernon and I totally win best birthday present" Seungkwan said and the others all nodded. "Well it’s hardly fair when your present is the girl he’s crazy about" Jeonghan commented. You and Joshua turned around to find everyone staring at you and they quickly pretended they hadn’t been talking about you.   As you came to sit down the members all moved down so you could sit next to Joshua and the two of you stayed like that most of the day. You chatted to everyone of course but your attention was well and truly captured by Joshua. He looked so happy surrounded by all his friends you never realised how beautiful his smile was before. Throughout dinner you kept shooting shy glances at him and then blushing when he caught you while doing the same to you. 

After you’d eaten it was time for gifts. "Present time!" Seungkwan cried coming forwards with the stack the second the table had been cleared. You helped pass them down to Joshua and smiled as all his members got him such great gifts. You noticed Seungkwan sneakily keeping yours until the end and tried to get Vernon to stop him but of course he didn’t. So the last present was yours and Joshua recognised that straight away. “Y/n’s! You really didn’t have to get me anything”. You shook your head “of course I did it’s your birthday!”. Joshua went to argue but the members called for him to open it already and so Joshua relented. He undid the wrapping paper and began to laugh. "What is it? What are they?" Hoshi asked and Joshua grinned "y/n you didn't?". You smiled at how he riffled through the box. "Jaffa cakes, Jamie Dodgers, Space Invaders...you even baked Cherry Bakewells! You got me all the best British snacks! This is amazing". You blushed at how happy Joshua seemed "well you loved them so much that day you tried them at mine so I asked my mom to send some over for your birthday!". "Wait you shipped them over from England just for my birthday?" Joshua asked like you'd imported them from space. "It's no big deal" you shrugged but Joshua shook his head "it is. Thank you y/n I love it so much". You smiled "I'm glad you liked it" and Scoups smiled before he caught DK trying to steal some of the snacks "Dk no!". "But they're British snacks! I've never had them before" he whined. "They're Joshua's that y/n shipped across thousands of miles. Leave them for him". "I'll bring some more for you to try next time" you promised and Dk relaxed now pleased he wouldn’t be left out. 

Seeing as that was the last present, you needed something to mark the occasion."Let's take a photo" Jeonghan said and everyone nodded and began moving closer together. "Who's going to take it?” The8 asked and you stood up "why don't I? That way you can post it on social media if you want to". Joshua shook his head "no I want you in the photo" which made you blush and all the members smile again. "We can just put it on auto timer" Wonwoo said and he and Jeonghan began setting it up while everyone got into place. "Sorry I think I'll have to come closer to you" Joshua told you and you shook your head "it's fine" and relaxed as he leaned on your chair putting an arm around the back to stabilise it. "Okay everyone ready? We've got 10 seconds from when we press the button" Jeonghan called. Everyone nodded and you glanced at Joshua making him look at you. "What?" he asked and you shook your head "nothing you just look really nice" as the camera took the photo. Joshua had the biggest smile on his face.

After that you all played some drinking games and soon the hours flew by without you even realising it was almost dark. "Y/n are you staying over tonight?" Dino asked noticing the sun setting. You paused "erm maybe, what time is it?". "Too late to drive back or get a taxi" Scoups said "just stay". You were just about to nod when Hoshi smirked "I'm sure Joshua won't mind letting you bunk with him". Everyone paused in shock and Hoshi gasped “did i say that aloud?". "Yes" Jeonghan said secretly loving how pink you and Joshua had both gone. "Y/n can stay wherever she likes, with me, with Vernon, with Joshua..." Seungkwan said trying to save the situation but he just made everyone laugh at the awkwardness even you and Joshua. "I'm sure I'll figure something out" you smiled and caught Joshua watching you making him blush.

Slowly the members began to move inside and prepare their last surprise for Joshua. It was an American movie he loved and they were turning the living room into a cinema. So they told Joshua to stay put and as more and more drifted off you stayed with him for company. You smirked as you got a text "it's my mom asking if you liked the snacks" you laughed and Joshua smiled "we should send her a selfie with them". He held up a space invader and passed one to you "if you want to of course?". You nodded "sure" and moved closer for the photo. Joshua held the phone out in front of the two of you and smiled holding up your little alien-shaped snack. Joshua took the photo and then brought it up for your approval. You both looked so happy and good together that it made you pause. You’d never looked like that in any photo with Mark and it made you feel so grateful to have Joshua in your life. 

Joshua noticed your expression turn serious and paused “woah y/n are you okay?”. You nodded “yeah today’s just got me thinking and you know I don’t think I ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we first met". Joshua shook his head "ow come on it was nothing". "No you made me feel welcome and offered to help me with my Korean and moving apartments and basically everything. I always wondered what I did to deserve such kindness from you". Joshua smiled "Y/n you don’t have to do anything to deserve kindness. It's a basic human right that you are more than worthy of". You blushed and after having several drinks felt a little confident so you replied "It’s things like that which make girls go crazy for you, you know?". Joshua laughed "I’m not too sure about that" he smiled and you shrugged "the ones with any sense do". "Like you?" he asked boldly and you paused "yeah...like me. I guess that means I'm the only one with some sense". "That's more than fine by me, you're the only girl I'd want paying attention to me" Joshua replied and leaned in to kiss you. It was spontaneous and beautiful. You don’t think even Joshua had been expecting himself to do that but it made it all the more perfect.

When you separated Joshua looked worried. "It just occurred to me now I did that without asking you if it was okay with you" Joshua said softly. "Well I'm hoping you could tell from my reaction but I didn’t hate it" you replied with a huge smile on your face. Joshua laughed "that's a relief". "I like you" you said simply and Joshua smiled "I like you too...I have for ages but the time was never right but now...". "Now feels pretty perfect” you smiled and Joshua grinned "I couldn’t agree more. Best birthday ever”. You laughed "happy birthday" and kissed him again. The two of you walked up to the house hand in and hand and passed the window making all the members gasp. You let Joshua go in first so he could see the room and smiled as he was so impressed with everything. He loved it and the members quickly directed him to a seat in pride of place in the middle of the room. Joshua looked for you but you realised you’d forgotten your phone and went back outside to grab it. Joshua turned back to the room and the members all grabbed him. "Stop!" he called smiling "none of this when y/n gets here. I don’t want you to make her feel uncomfortable". "I'm sorry but we’ve been waiting for this for years, you can handle a little excitement" Jeonghan replied. 

You walked inside and the boys all stopped and then cheered. You blushed and Joshua held out a hand to you. You joined him and he pulled you into the seat with him, letting you hide your blush from the guys. "I just want to say I'm so happy you two are together" Seungwan said "you'll be a brilliant couple and we don’t even have to threaten Joshua because we can trust him...but still hurt y/n and I will kill you" Seungkwan said making you laugh. "Don’t worry I have no plans to make her anything other than happy" Joshua replied and several members groaned while the others awed. You blushed and turned to Jeonghan "should we just play the movie and kill the lights?". "Why? You got some plans with Joshua when it goes dark?" the boy asked smirking and Joshua threw a cushion at him "just play it!". Jeonghan pressed play and the room dissolved into darkness. 

Once the movie started everyone settled down and Joshua moved closer. “Hey i’m sorry about them” Joshua whispered but you shook your head smiling “it’s okay, they’re just excited”. He nodded “well as long as they didn’t make you uncomfortable”. You shook your head “no i’m very comfortable” leaning into his arm around you and Joshua chuckled “good” and moved closer. The gesture felt so natural and you felt so safe and welcome here with Joshua and all his members. Something told you it was where you were meant to be. 

[dudadragneel]

Hello again guys!

This one is the last request I had. It's a tad different from what I do (there's no emeto involved) but I opened an exception since it contains another trope that I like (fainting).

This one is from @freepeachgalaxy

Ok, erm.... Chan is sick in the studio , does usual of hiding, collapses whilst there, with any of them present, get him home, faints again? I don't know I'm sorry I just love a good faint, that's witnessed and also found unconscious on the floor

DON'T HIDE IT

The boys' lives were far from being normal, no ordinary person could handle the pressure and how hectic their schedules were.

They all felt the pressure in different ways and Chan was the one under most pressure. He was the leader, he had to take care of the kids, practice, produce, record, and go to photoshoots.

He was their pillar, their stronghold, and due to that, he'd hide whenever he felt unwell, sad, or stressed, he never wanted to worry his dongsaengs.

They had a day packed with schedules and they had still gone to the company after completing them. They had to practice and work on new songs.

Since the day had been so chaotic, Chan had barely gotten any rest or eaten anything, or not enough to keep him going through the day.

During dance practice, he started to feel off, he was too sweaty for someone who had just started dancing, he looked in the big mirror in the room, looking at his face which had gone a bit pale as well and his vision had black dots from time to time. Fuck. He thought to himself, he hoped none of the members or the staff had noticed that.

But as the leader and oldest, he pushed through the first half of dance practice. As soon as the dance teacher said they'd have a little break before the next session, everyone just crumbled to the ground, dramatically as usual.

Chan went to the back of the room, grabbed a water bottle, and sat down, his breathing was erratic but still a bit too fast, even if he was dancing.

He took a few sips of water and ducked his head between his knees when he felt a sudden wave of dizziness.

Lee Know, who was the second oldest, suspected something might be wrong with their leader but he knew how Chan would react to everyone being worried about him, so he just brushed it off as him being tired from the schedules.

Chan took the entire time of a break to try to control his breathing and get rid of this dizziness that made him feel like the ground was shaking even though he was completely still.

Their dance teacher called them again and Chan could only hope he'd get through dance practice without collapsing, and thankfully he did.

When they finished, everyone scattered around to do their own things. Chan said he was going to his studio to work on some new songs, which wasn't a lie but he wanted to be alone, and so he left.

Getting to his studio he went straight to the couch, hoping that lying down would help with the dizziness he was feeling and for a while it did. When he felt well enough, he sat on his chair, turned on his computer, and started working.

It wasn't being easy, as the constant movement of his eyes to look at the screens made his head feel like it was being pressured. A few minutes in with work, the other two members of 3RACHA entered the studio.

To say Chan was annoyed was an understatement, now he had two more people inside the room and he was afraid they would pick up on how awful he was looking, but they didn't, or at least acted like they didn't.

Han and Changbin didn't keep quiet, and Chan would usually love how chaotic and energetic they were but today it was too much, however telling them to keep quiet would immediately give away that something was wrong, so he just endured it, joining them every now and then.

But as the minutes passed he began to feel worse than before, his vision was getting blurry and he felt like the floor was melting under his feet.

He stopped what he was doing and rested his head on his hand, he knew he looked pale and sweaty and suddenly the room felt stuffy and he couldn't breathe properly.

He started heaving and his back was going up and down rather rapidly and the two younger boys noticed that and put their phones aside.

- Hyung?

- Chan-hyung? Are you okay?

They both said getting closer to him and placing their hands on his shoulder.

Chan grabbed Changbin's arm turning to the side.

- I feel dizzy...

He admitted, voice already weak, he was going to faint at any minute.

- Let's get him on the couch.

Changbin and Han helped Chan up but the moment the oldest stood up, his body completely shut down and he went limp.

- Hyung!

Changbin, being the strongest at the moment, managed to hold Chan before he could fall to the ground and carried him to the couch.

Changbin sat down on the couch and placed Chan's head so he was lying on his lap while Han lifted his hyung's leg up and placed some pillows under them.

- Han, tell the others what happened, I'll stay here with him.

Changbin thought of Han's anxiety and deemed it safest to have him call the others rather than having him stay with Chan. He could get worried enough to work himself up to an anxiety or panic attack.

----- PRACTICE ROOM-----

The other boys were still in the practice room, some just chilling and others dancing when Han entered the room with a rather worried expression.

- Did something happen?

Lee Know immediately asked, going into hyung mode.

- It's Chan-hyung. He passed out.

- What!?

They all said, eyes widened in surprise and all of them felt their stomachs drop, just at the thought of their leader, their pillar going down. Even the staff was taken aback.

Lee Know was the first one to get up and leave the room with Han, followed by the others and the staff.

When they got to Chan's studio they found the oldest still unconscious on Changbin's lap.

Lee Know told the boys to stay by the door and not crowd the place and went to Chan's side.

- What happened?

- We don't know. We were working and then he started to feel out of breath. When we noticed he had gone pale and ended up fainting.

- It must be exhaustion. I noticed he barely rested or ate anything today.

- What do we do?

- Let's wait for him to wake up and then let's take him home.

One of the managers entered the room to check on Chan and he had a device to check his blood pressure.

- 70/40, it's really low.

The manager said and the others got really worried about their hyung's health.

A few seconds later, Chan began to regain consciousness, he heard multiple muffled voices around him, and his vision slowly became normal. But since his pressure was low he was shivering cold.

- What happened...

He said voice sounding weak and confused.

- You passed out.

Lee Know answered kneeling beside him.

- oh...

- Hyung, how were you feeling before?

- I was feeling fine...

- Hyung, don't lie to us, please.

- okay...I have been feeling dizzy since practice...I'm sorry for worrying you guys.

He covered his eyes with his arm because the light was too bright and it was making his head hurt.

Lee Know got up and asked one of the staff members to let them go home but they said they needed to practice. Being the second oldest, Lee Know knew how to impose himself if needed, he learned that from Chan and also from the countless times he got outfits that made him uncomfortable. He was stern when talking to the staff about Chan's health and managed to convince them they needed to go home.

One of the managers took the boys' side, after all, they completed the main schedules of the day, and all they had left was practice, which let's be honest, could obviously be postponed and they knew they wouldn't be able to do it properly knowing their hyung was feeling unwell.

He discussed with the others and convinced them to let the boys rest, after all, they didn't have any schedules for the rest of the week, considering it was Thursday, there wasn't enough time to rest but every minute was worth it.

- Okay, boys. Let's go. Chan-ah, can you walk?

- Yeah.

He couldn't Lee Know and Changbin helped him up but as soon as he was up, he felt lightheaded and swayed.

- Nope, you can't walk. I'll carry you to the car.

Changbin said positioning himself in front of Chan so he could climb on his back.

Lee Know covered Chan with a hoodie since the oldest boy was shivering from cold due to low blood pressure.

The other kids gathered their stuff and headed out as well.

Lee Know got in first and Changbin helped settle Chan in the car and the second youngest buckled his belt and pulled Chan close to him so his head was resting on his shoulder. Chan fell asleep or fainted again, he didn't know.

The ride was unusually quiet as all the kids were worried about their hyung.

Chan said he was feeling better and wanted to take a quick shower, even though all of them wanted him to eat something, a common symptom of fainting was nausea so despite being hungry he didn't have much of an appetite.

He entered the bathroom, still looking a bit wobbly and before he could close the door behind him, Lee Know appeared.

- Hyung, don't lock it. I know you don't want anyone in there with you but if you feel dizzy again, let me know, okay?

- Alright, thanks Minho-ah.

Chan knew better than to keep standing up while still feeling dizzy so he just sat down on a stool. The water flowing through his body felt like it was washing away all his exhaustion and tension.

But as he was finishing and turning off the water, his vision got blurry again and it felt like his legs had gone numb. He didn't want to pass out in the bathroom, so he quickly managed to put his clothes on and get to the door.

- Minho-ah....

He said weakly, voice almost inaudible.

As soon as Lee Know got up and opened the door, Chan passed out one more time, not falling to the ground thanks to Lee Know.

- Kids! Come here!

He yelled as he carefully lowered Chan so he was leaning against his chest.

- What's wrong? Oh my god!

- Get the manager, he needs to go to the hospital. He hasn't eaten anything all day, he is most likely dehydrated and I'm starting to feel like he might be running a light fever. Go!

Lee Know said firmly, whenever something happened to Chan, he stepped up as the second in command.

A few minutes later, their manager got to their dorms.

- What happened Minho-ah?

- He fainted after the shower.

- It's best to take him to the hospital. He might need an IV. Let's go.

The manager picked a barely conscious Chan up and carried him to the car, followed by Lee Know who told the kids to wait in the dorm.

Upon getting to the hospital, they were guided to a private room where the doctor asked what was wrong. They ran a few exams and they turned out perfectly fine, except for his blood pressure.

- Did he eat anything today? Drank any water?

- No. Just barely.

- This is a clear case of exhaustion. He wasn't listening to his body so it shut down. We'll set up an IV and some fluids. I'll give a prescription in case he gets a high fever since he's a bit feverish now. You're free to go when the IV ends.

- Thank you.

Lee Know and the manager said turning to Chan who was a bit more conscious than before, but still feeling a tad lightheaded.

- I'm sorry...

- Hyung. Don't apologize. I know you, we know you and you know us. I know you don't like to worry us but please tell us before things can get out of hand. Just think about the kids' reaction seeing you faint all of a sudden. We barely managed to keep Jisung calm.

- How is he?

- He's okay. He handled this very well.

- I will take good care of my health. Thanks for helping, Minho-ah.

- That's why I'm here, right? As the two oldest we need to help each other.

After about two hours, the manager had already called the kids to let them know what happened and they signed in relief as it wasn't anything that serious.

The IV ended and he was feeling better than before, his blood pressure was almost back to normal, but it was good enough for him to go home. They left with prescriptions from the doctor, explaining that he needed rest or it could escalate to something worse.

When they arrived at the dorm, all six kids were waiting in the living room and went immediately to Chan, Felix hugging him tight.

- I'm sorry for your worrying you guys. I'm better now. I'm sorry for scaring you, Felix.

The boy just buried his head in his hyung's shoulder getting a hug back.

- The doctor said he needs to rest so the manager will tell the company and probably issue a statement if needed.

Lee Know guided Chan to his bedroom, afraid that he'd collapse again but thankfully he was indeed feeling like he was alive again.

He settled him on the bed and covered him, before leaving to cook him some food and control the kids.

He came back with some soup, that would probably sit well with his stomach, and Chan only then realized how hungry he was.

After he was finished he just lay down again and was fast asleep within minutes. Lee Know turned off the lights and left the door ajar just in case.

For the next few days, the boys took turns and made sure to keep Chan from doing anything and really letting him rest. They didn't even let him use his so cherished computer, that stored basically their entire career.

He wasn't used to not being in control of the situation but he was watching all of them working and having fun from afar and was immensely glad he adopted these kids.

[onlinekitsune]

LET ME IN: SAEYOUNG CHOI (PART TWO)

"make your way to me through the waves"

PAIRING, GENRE, WARNINGS ─ saeyoung choi x gnc!reader, not proofread, this is mostly comfort?? kinda just on saeyoung's side sorrryyy

SYNOPSIS ─ after a bit of an argument played out, between you. saeyoung returns back inside of the bedroom. unaware that you're actually awake, he begins to talk out his feelings.

WRITER’S NOTE ─ a handful of people requested a part two of the original!! which i honored and very gratful for!! i have a hard time liking my content, so when others tell me they enjoyed it, it means a lot! i tried my best with this but, kinda lost where i was going with it. again, a bit of dialogue is taken directly from the game. (day 8/9 iirc) i hope you enjoy! and again, thank you for all your kind words and support! i know i am off and on about posting content on here, but know that your words aren't just ignored!! so erm... anyways. do you think i could do a part three lmao

Your dreams were hard to recall as you continued to lay still in bed. Perhaps that was for the better, a dream about the argument prior or even recalling happier times in the chatroom would haunt you. You took a deep breath, not bothering to even open your eyes or get up. You felt exhausted, mentally and physically. It was ironic to you how crying provided the same effects as if you were to actually do something straining. Your hand slid through your sheets, blindingly guiding you to your phone. Before you could even reach it, you hear the door creak open. You laid completely still, unsure of what to do. Footsteps gently got closer, stopping as they reached right in front of you. The sound of fabric brushing against each other filled the room. Your heart raced, not sure what to expect. But you continued to stay still.

“You’re… asleep? Good.” Seven sighed, breaking the silence. He reached out his hand, brushing against the sheets. "You’re really quiet while you’re sleeping...” The room returned to its silence for a moment. You felt him lean his upper body on the bed, only being able to assume that he was kneeling before you. “You’re something, you know? I… must have hurt you by saying all those things, but you somehow manage to still be so bright. Even now. You remind me of the 707 I pretend to be in the chatroom. You have more in common with him than… Saeyoung.”

Your face slightly furrowed, hearing his voice become soft and vulnerable. You so desperately wanted to sit up and comfort him. But, you knew that if you did he’d immediately retreat. You continued pretending to be asleep, allowing him to continue. 

“Saeyoung is dark and pessimistic. His cold and complicated personality is the true me. I-I can’t wear the mask of the happy-go-lucky 707. I want you to realize that and be disappointed. I’m not a fun and cool person. I can put you in danger. So, don’t waste your feelings on me. I know telling you this won’t stop you. You’re so strange.” He continued. Hearing him talk bad about himself made your heart ache. If only he knew. If only he could see himself from your perspective. His hand hovered over yours before gently placing it on top, dissipating your thoughts. His touch was gentle, as if any friction could cause you to crumble beneath his fingers. “No, it's not you that's strange. It’s me. You’re actually… so nice and warm. You know, I… I sometimes dream about you accepting the real me. It’s a ridiculous dream, I know. But, thank you for allowing me to dream, at the very least.” His thumb brushed against the back of your hand before slipping away. 

The silence filled the room again, accompanied by your heartbeat in your ears. The weight on the bed returns to how it was, as he gets up. “Please, remember in your dreams that you can’t trust V… or even me. Be less nice to me, so that when I disappear, you won’t be hurt. Don’t trust anyone, and promise me you’ll stay safe. Allowing me to protect you is more than enough. It’s more than I deserve. It’s enough for Saeyoung.” He uttered, slowly turning away from you. You snuck a glance, seeing that he was now facing away from you but stood still.

“Saeyoung.” You let out, softly. You shifted from the bed, sitting up against the headboard. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just leaving-”

“Saeyoung. Please. Just wait a second.” You pleaded, looking up at him with soft eyes. He winced, hearing his name come from you a second time. He took a deep breath, and turned around to face you. He kept a straight face, but you could see the ache in his eyes. “Can we sit and talk?” You added. He hesitated, but ultimately gave in. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

“So, I can assume you heard everything?”

“I…Yes, I did. I didn’t want to pretend to be asleep but, also didn’t want you to run off.” you answered, grabbing onto your wrist. Your gaze met him as he turned his head to look at you. “Listen, I know how you feel. Pretending to be this happy-go-lucky person. I have experience with that, clearly. I don’t know how much you actually found out about me but… just know we have that in common, okay? I like yo-”

“Even if you say you like me, my life can’t embrace anything. You don’t know how it feels to live this kind of life. You shouldn’t be nice to me when you don’t know anything. The person you truly like is the 707 in the chatroom, just… forget about me. About this.” he interrupted, turning away from you. He was mere moments from leaving out the door, you felt it. And if he did, it’d return you back to where you were. In a moment of desperation, you bolted forward, hugging him from behind.

“Then please, help me understand the person in front of me…” You muttered, resting your head on his back. Saeyoung didn’t pull away, or even try to. He stood frozen, unable to comprehend what his mind was going through.

“You!” He let out, stunned. His eyes shut, slowly giving in to your affection. “Why are you doing this to me? You’re making this harder than it should. I live a dangerous life, one you don’t need to be involved in. I couldn't even protect my own brother… I have to abandon the person I adore. My life is good for nothing.”

“I’ve been through a bomb and a hacker, it’s a little too late for me to not be involved. I like the you that’s in front of me. Regardless of how complicated anything else is, I want to know you.”  

Saeyoung shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I… cherish you. I want to make you happy, but I can't! Why do you want to be with me when my life is so dangerous? Why do you… even like me?” He asked, his voice trailing off ever so subtly. You break off the hug, and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s more complicated than that. I can’t give a simple answer. I just like you, Saeyoung.”

“You’re impossible. What are you going to do if something happens to you because of me? What then?”

You gave him a soft smile, before reaching out to grab his hand. He didn’t bother to stop you, or even pull away. “No matter what happens, I won’t regret my feelings for you.” you uttered, now brushing your thumb across his hand. Another sigh, and again he shut his eyes for a moment. 

“I don’t know anymore. You’re so strange. I.. feel like i’m going strange too. No matter what I do… I can't seem to get rid of your feelings for me. Nothing good will happen by being close to me, you know. It’ll be too late to regret it later.” He muttered. You let go of his hand, placing it on his shoulder. You slightly tugged at him to turn. You two faced each other directly. You saw the sadness, the despair, the anguish in his eyes. Up close this time. 

“There’s no way I'll regret being with you, Saeyoung.” you softly replied, gently cupping his face. He stood there, as if he was afraid to touch you. To give into the affection. 

“You shouldn’t say that too easily. Ugh. I always told myself that I wouldn’t ever want to grow close to someone. But you’re making that so… complicated. I- I can’t believe you’re getting to me. Gods, what am I supposed to do now?” He asked, reaching to hold your forearms. You let out a soft breath, before leaning closer to him.

“First, just take some time and think about accepting my feelings. We can figure out the rest from there, alright?.” you answered, tilting your head slightly. You wanted to be his light, especially now.

“Alright… I’ll need some time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

[18-naked-cowboys]

How Twisted Wonderland dorms would react to you confessing to them

(Please recommend dorms you’d like to see next!)

PART 1 (not proofread I’m sorry)

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

“Azul, I know you’re busy with work right now but,” you paused and stared at your feet, the eye contact was killing you and the way he tilted his head at you made your knees feel weak “I just had to come and tell you that I really like you!”

Did the twins perhaps set you up for this? No there was no way, you wouldn’t agree to a prank like that. He never would have imagined you would confess to him, and at the lounge as well. He liked you too of course, it didn’t take a genius to notice the way he flinched anytime you touched him or the oh so faint blush that would dust his face when he made you smile or laugh. Of course he accepted your feelings! He tried his best to seem composed in that moment but you could tell he was flushed.

“W-why it took you long enough to confess!” (He had no idea you felt the same) “why not we plan a date then, no contract needed of course.” He said with an awkward chuckle that made your heart skip a beat. Though he tried to maintain his calm and cool demeanor, the way he looked at you betrayed the fact that he was as giddy as a teenage girl.

Jade Leech

You asked to meet Jade after a class you had together and you met him in one of the empty school hallways.

“Erm, I know that this isn’t exactly the most romantic setting, but I just couldn’t hold my feelings in much longer. I really like you and I wanted to know if you’d go on a date with me.” You had told him with limited eye contact and twiddling thumbs

He smiled the whole time as he watched the way you anxiously confessed to him. You were just so cute to him, of course he did already know you liked him but he just loved to watch you squirm so, naturally, he hadn’t said anything. In fact he would go out of his way to subtly mess with you in class.

“I accept your proposal, I’d love to go on a date with you. Though it was fun watching my dear prefect blush at every little action I did.” He mused, placing his hand to his chest. He loved seeing your reaction, even now.

“Y-you knew? How long did you know?” You stumbled out.

“I imagine the whole time, it was quite obvious.” He said to you with a tilt to his head. This man would be the death of you but at least you knew he shared the same feelings you did!

Floyd Leech

“Awww shrimpy came to my basketball game! You’re so cute~” Floyd teased with that same tone in his voice that made you wanna turn into a puddle. He squeeze your cheeks with his fingers while giving you a toothy grin.

“Um, Floyd-“ you could barely say before he finally decided to stop pinching you, “I came because I wanted to tell you that, uh well, I like you, like as more than friends.” you were met by a brief silence before you gave you as big wide-eyed smile. He hugged you and picked you up with a big squeeze which made you feel like you could pop.

“Oh shrimpy you’re so cute! I wish I could squish you like a bug!” He laughed while he continued squeezing you and swinging you around. He still reeked of sweat and rubber from his game. Your face flushed and your heart sank, was he making fun of you? Did he not like you back? He finally put you down, still smirking but the look dropped when he noticed your sullen expression “what’s wrong?”

“You just- do you like me back?” You questioned sadly

“Mmm I don’t know, if I didn’t like you would I do this?” He quickly grabbed your face and placed a quick kiss on your lips that made your heart race before he began to laugh again “Ahaha! Shrimpy you’re almost as red as that goldfish!”

You knew your blush was undeniable but even though he was teasing you you couldn’t help the big smile that spread over your face.

[iu-xo]

"Like we've always hated each other"

Tantrum.

intro part 1 part 2 part 3

It took much less time than expected! I hope it's enjoyable to read, god this is so slowburn, so they still hate each other! But... do they really?

The sun... the sun that comes through the window... the fucking sun.

The most recent being to move into the hotel after its restoration, he was fighting a battle to the death with nothing more and nothing less than the sheets of his bed, nothing new for the king to say the least, In his mind it was the eighth time he told himself he would get up, And this was the real thing, he thought for the eighth time...

When he heard a door suddenly open, and even though he loved his daughter with all his heart, he couldn't wish for anything other than that she would leave him for another hour to rot for a little longer in his nest of depression and procrastination, Which didn't happen that way.

-DAD! I'm sorry to bother you... I know you were still sleeping and stuff! despite being past noon.. But your help would reeeeaaaally help me a lot rigth now!

Even though his body betrayed him and made him want to sink and become one with the mattress, knowing that his daughter needed something from him gave him enough motivation to sit up in bed.

-Whatever you need honey..

His voice was still hoarse and sleepy, revealing his little to none desire to exist at that moment, but surely when he did something he would feel better... he hoped.

The princess gave a happy squeal to take out some notebook pages with lists and colorful crayon drawings, and grabbed one in particular which she put on her father's nightstand while she put the rest away with some clumsiness.

-Today I have an activity planned but I mixed up my schedules with next week's, so I have nothing to start with!

The blonde looked very worried about this problem she had, and Lucifer thought that maybe she would ask him for things to buy and he could just magically appear them, piece of cake.

-So while I fix this I wanted you to put these flyers in the businesses that already gave me permission!

Wait. What?

the angel really thought He could get away with doing this quickly with a little magic trick, but he really had no way of appearing flyers in specific places which he had no idea where they were..

-erm.. Dear.. Can't we just put them in... I don't know... everywhere?

-Nop! Because today's topic is... consent!

She said while making a rainbow in the air with her hands , Therefore, the little angel had no choice but to personally walk through the disgusting streets of the pride ring... his ring. While he was hanging little pieces of paper on the windows of the shops of the ungrateful sinners that owned them. But... it was for Charlie... so how bad could it be, He stopped thinking about how bad it would be and instead saw Charlie's smile explaining how she wanted to deal with today's topic, he saw her eyes full of sparkle and got out of bed.

-Count on me char-char, I'll take care of it!

Charlie smiled from ear to ear and hugged him, leaning down, he had taken Lucifer a little by surprise but he gladly reciprocated

-Thank you.. means a lot.

They both felt a silence after that, it wasn't awkward, it was like they were telling each other without words that they were trying to heal something, And even if it couldn't happen overnight, they were trying, Charlie knew they would make it, Lucifer... he could only hope so.

But after that charlie decided to left the room to let her father get ready, she also had too many things to do, time was against her and she wasn't going to waste it.

-Well.. see ya!

She said goodbye with her hand, while her father did it in the same way, Once she was outside, the angel walked slowly to his closet, looking for something more casual, but ended up wearing his usual outfit but without his white jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and headed to the bathroom to fix his hair, he saw himself in the mirror for a moment, a wave of melancholy drowning him for a few moments, He saw himself worn out, tired.

He washed his face with cold water as an attempt to wash away the draining thoughts, it just... everything used to be so simple for him, at least sometimes... He left the bathroom and opened a window in his room, looking to breathe something other than his own self-loathing, A burst of sulfur aroma was what he found, he sighed, At this moment he missed the aroma of fruit and freshly wet grass... he may not be missing the regime of heaven but... that garden and it's smells sure were something else

He realized that he had gotten quite lost in thought, so he washed his face one last time Seeking to return to reality, and avoiding the hassle of seeing so many faces at the reception... he opened a golden portal under his feet that left him at the exit of the hotel, now he only had to...

walk.

Lovely.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

A demon twice his size was shouting at him in the middle of the street, the lamb-like demon had bruises he was bleeding and holding the demon's hand that grabbed him by the neck while lifting him off the floor, he didn't seem scared, in fact he didn't feel the slightest bit of fear despite the dangerous situation he found himself in, as if he believed that at any moment one of his exterminators would arrive and take him out of there, or simply as if it didn't enter his head that he wasn't untouchable.

-F-FUCK YOU.. YOU.. FUCKING PUSSY!

He tried to get free even with less oxygen than required, he increasingly gained strength to kick his attacker into the pit of his stomach, leaving him breathless momentarily and falling to the ground, he took a deep breath and before the opponent could notice Adam was half a block away, he may have been out of shape, but he managed to ran into an alley and lean against the wall, while he saw the idiot run past him.

-SHIT- FUCKING- DAMN IT!

He dropped to the floor sliding down the wall, wiped the blood from his nose, then saw the blood on his hand..

Red.

His blood was... Red. Did he feel.. anger? No.. sadness? Of course not.. he was not a pussy.. He felt... To hell with what he felt all this was bullshit and he shouldn't be going through this! He shouldn't be here! He Should not.. he shouldn't be here...he was the first man...God's most beautiful creation! Fuck..he couldn't be rotting in this shit hole together with all these pieces of shit! They all came from him. where is his respect..

Interrupting his internal monologue bar existential crisis, he heard footsteps and unconsciously clung to the wall with his new claws, since he had arrived he had already escaped from five guys who were looking to kick his ass, perhaps a sixth could be avoided.

Humming a catchy melody, a familiar face passed by looking for something, looked at a sheet of paper, then at the shops, Then he approached the window of the establishment and stuck a flyer on it, without realizing the stare he had on him, Although of course, many people had looked at him since he left the hotel, he had had to send a couple flying, so it wasn't something especially peculiar

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

of all the habitants of hell... IT SHOULD BE FUCKING LUCIFER THE FIRST FAMILIAR FACE HE SEES?! This day, this place and all of this it's nothing but a stupid damn joke!

What the fuck is he doing? Hanging ruffles? Last time he tried to sell him that he was such a big deal, what was he doing hanging fucking pamphlets in the disgusting streets full of shit?

The gaze that Lucifer felt on his shoulder felt heavier and heavier, when he looked out of the corner of his eye he noticed a sinner looking towards the flyer he puted on the glass, and an idea crossed his mind, what would be better than advertising the hotel? Well, make it work of course! He could do this, it was just... talking to a stranger! Perfect, and the bad thing was that... he had to talk to a stranger. come on morningstar! For your daughter's approval!

-Heey you.

They both remained in total silence, panic could be seen on Adam's face, had he recognized him? It seemed like no... everything pointed to no, but that didn't stop his brain from wanting to run away and leave him alone in that moment, Lucifer had an ackward face and it shows in the way his eye twitched that he regretted his decision ever since the words left his mouth, but there was no way to take it back now, meanwhile Adam considered the possibility of just running away.

-I see you... watching from there! You can... read it. You know.. it's a pamphlet. They are for... reading-

He could easily smash his hand against his face in an exaggerated way, but this wasn't the time for that, if he brought a guest to the hotel today Charlie would be so happy! he can do it, it was like selling, It's not that he knew how to sell things... but how hard could it be

Meanwhile Adam looked at him with a disappointed face, his communication skills were as deplorable as they had always been, but he glanced at the pamphlet, of course, their fifth class hotel.

-It has everything! You should tell every person you see in hell about it.

Adam's disgusted face spoke for him, while Lucifer sighed, obviously it wouldn't be that easy to bring someone to the hotel in one day, but for Adam everything was going wonderfully since at least he didn't know it was him.

The feeling did not last too long, as he felt a figure forming behind him, heat emanating from near his back, the lamb-like demon feared the worst, and unfortunately he was right.

-To claim to be the first dick you are quite the pussy.

Said a demon behind him, twice his size, Shark-like, It was the guy from before for sure, shit-

-wait. what was that first thing you said?

before the words had a chance to come out of the angel's mouth in their entirety, He felt a gust of wind pass by him but as far as he was concerned, the wind doesn't scream.

As he turned around at the speed of the wind itself, he could briefly see his future guest crashing into the brick wall at the hands of the stupid demon who had interrupted his negotiation attempt, in a moment six wings came out angelically from the sovereign's back to place himself just in time between the two demons with a flutter of his wings, whit one hand he stoped the inevitable punch destined to hit Adam's face.

-Nobody taught you not get into the grown up's conversations... right?

He said this while a grin formed in his face, showing sharp teeth which this guy would remember all his life, Lucifer released the guy's fist to hold his wrist and with a twist of his hip he easily sent him to the other side of the pentagram.

-now. where did you get that phrase from?

When the angel looked behind him he could see nothing more and nothing less than two hooves walking away two meters away

-Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!

Although Adam's intention was to lose sight of the small man following him, when he looked back all he could see was his imminent arrival to the ground, receiving a tackle from Lucifer, they both fell rolling around as if they were two little children fighting in the school garden

-SPEAK FILTHY CREATURE

He demanded, standing on top of the lamb, despite it being half his size and looking humorous, the truth is that Adam couldn't get out of his grip no matter how hard he tried.

-STOP BEING SO DAMN DENSE BITCH!

Oh God. He recognized that voice, he recognized that stupid self-nickname, and worst of all, he recognized that stupid tantrum.

-how the hell. are you here rigth now.

-Why should I say that to you, huh?!

-maybe because YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER OPTION?! MAYBE??

Both continued to struggle with each other, one to escape and one to have answers. Lucifer was afraid of letting him escape and that he could cause some trouble, although thinking about it carefully... he looked at his lamb's ears, his hooves, his eyes and his teeth... now he was a simple sinner, There wasn't much he could accomplish even if he tried, he'd probably be screwed, he may already had taked a few beatings even.

-Well, I have no idea! I hope that helps sucker!

He said and spit in his face, something he didn't thought about properly, or didn't thought about at all, The ruler's face was irritated, as if he were putting up with a spoiled child, well... that's practically what he's doing.

-That's all, Let's go.

He cleaned his face whit his sleve and grabbed him by the collar of his clothes and began to drag him along the sidewalk, he had an exhausted expression as if he didn't have what it took to face this situation today, although he probably wouldn't any day.

-the FUCK. ARE YOU DOING?!

He said, fluttering his black wings everywhere, managing to irritate Lucifer by obstructing his vision, forcing him to stop, to which he grunted in annoyance.

-Well. taking care of you! What else am I supposed to do! It's what I should always do! because it seems like your entire existence is made to cause me problems!

Adam's gaze could be nothing but anger, he struggled away from Lucifer's grasp, which was curious to see due to the difference in sizes, once free he turned around to look at him from the front

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I WAS MADE TO BE FUCKING PERFECT! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

-If you were as perfect as you say, how do you explain this eh! How do you think this happened?! You are not in this putrid pit for being the dick of the dicks PAL!

The lamb growled in exasperation as he stamped on the ground with his right hoof, after pulling his hair looking to escape from his angryness he lookef at the little one in the eye.

- IF I DON'T CARE, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!

He felt a lump in his throat, but not as painful as the lump in the throat of the king of hell himself, Why should he care? Why the fuck should he care??

-Oh then i saw You die a fucking WEEK AGO. and You expect me to see that You are alive and let you wander through hell knowing that any demon is out there KICKING YOUR FUCKING ASS?! A THANK YOU WAS ENOUGH!

Lucifer screamed as his eyes turned from yellow to red from how infuriating he found having to argue with this idiot, he was never particularly reasonable but right now he was more irritable than normal and had no idea why

- THANK YOU?! OH SURE THEN YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE A CHARITY CASE FOR YOUR BRAT'S SHITTY HOTEL HUH!? Well I have news for you DUDE!

Adam He kicked dirt from the street, dirtying Lucifer's clothes, who coughed in response to the cloud of dust

-im not your fucking guinea pig.

He narrowed his gaze in disgust, looking down literally and metaphorically at his contrary.

-Are you allergic to kindness? or why is it that you can't accept a fucking favor!?

Adam's Contemptuous face became one of intense anger and he took a step forward and brought his face closer to the angel's.

-from YOU? Of course. Good joke.

Lucifer had enough, he wouldn't wait to know where this reunion could go, It's not even worth wasting his breath on... Adam. Or at least that's what he thought.

-you know what? It's fine with me. It's not like you're not used to everyone leaving you, stay like that, as always, stay alone.

The king shook his clothes to remove the dirt, with one hand he snapped his fingers and as he arrived he left, Adam was left with an unreadable expression, he didn't move from there, he just stood there.

still and quiet.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The golden portal opened above the hotel's front door, since he had avoided greeting people in the morning he assumed he could say hello in the aftern.. nigth, it was nigth.

Well, anyways, he would greet them at night then.

Opening the door abruptly without worrying about whether it was timely or not, he stepped into the hall.

-HEELLOOO everyone! How does the night treat you all?

From there you could easily see the bartender behind the bar along with the little maid sitting at the bar playing with some dead bug, on the sofa lay their most exotic guest and a certain deer showed no signs of being close, much to the king's liking.

-we have been better short king, But nothing that a drink can't fix, rigth wiskers?

The feline rolled his eyes but smiled at the end, and began to mix different liquids, When he looked in the direction the king was his eyes widened in surprise

- wow. It looks like you were hited by a truck.

Angel Dust looked in the same direction realizing what the bartender was referring to, It really looked like they had made him crawl on the floor, well, in fact something like that happened-

- someone played too rough whit ya~?

Husk put his palm to his face as Nifty leaned over the bar counter

- I like rough.

She said, sketching a sinister smile, to which Lucifer reacted with a certain degree of displeasure, and Husk put a donut from the bar counter in her mouth to make her shut up for a little bit

- umh.. rigth. Well no, I wasn't hit by a truck, and no! Neither, the other thing. I just ran into a few issues. Nothing to worry about.

While this small exchange of words was going on, footsteps could be heard in the distance approaching faster and faster, ending with a hug from behind to Lucifer's surprise.

-DAD! What happened? It took you hours to come back!

-Oh come on, come on... it's nothing at all! A few small issues, a few hours! But everything is fine now.

While the angel convinced Charlie that it was nothing, sounds of static reached everyone's ears, covering them in the act, everyone anticipated the arrival of you-know-who, it was nothing new for him to arrive in such a dramatic way, especially if the king was there prior to his arrival

-How interesting... I would swear it would take more than a few small matters to delay the big boss.. a couple hours.

The one who had just arrived in the room exclaimed very arrogantly, with a smile from ear to ear per usual , Charlie watched him appear on the spot and waved happily, only to receive a greeting from the deer-like demon in return.

-oh oh oh If you only knew You little shit.

Lucifer smiled evilly knowing that if Alastor ran into Adam again the last thing he would do would be act with that arrogance so characteristic of his

-Honey there is someone at the door.

Vaggie entered the room and to the conversation to warn her girlfriend about the presence of someone outside, so charlie left the two old men arguing to answer the door

-Oh but tell us your highness, what were these "issues" then.

-Nothing that your walnut-sized brain can understand piece of-

Two brown hooves entered, stepping on the red carpet that covered the hotel's entrance hall, to which Charlie said very excitedly and taking small jumps until they reached the area where everyone was, her girl on one side of the stranger and her on the remaining side.

Lucifer's sight changed from being fixed on Alastor to seeing the newcomer and although the king was already prepared to smile at the person to receive them, when he looked at him carefully, the only thing that came out of his mouth was..

-FU- ADAM?! THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE.

When everyone heard who he was talking about, they stayed cold and glued to the floor. With his new demonic form, no one would have guessed that it was the leader of the exorcists in person, or rather... in demon.

-ADAM?!

-adam??

-THAT ADAM?!

-OH OH estás muerto CABRON!

-Mhhh..

After the domino reaction Adam with lowered ears tried to talk keeping his dignity and pride, not very successfully, with a stupid smile on his face he speak

-heey bitchees.. so.. what's for dinner?

You could swear there was the sound of a cane breaking in the background followed by a static sound.

[ghuleh-recs]

hi! i'm a new Ghost fan and i would love to get some fic recs since i don't know where to start. 😊 i'm pretty much open to anything but something with lots of feelings (hurt/comfort), Papa IV x someone, and around 15,000 words would be great. thank you in advance 🧡

hellooo! welcome to our little satanic corner of tumblr!! i'm so sorry this took me so long—i had a tough time finding fics that matched your criteria. i hope it's okay that i focused on "feelings" more so than hurt/comfort specifically. definitely give these writers a follow if you haven't already. (i also wasn't sure what you meant by "x someone" so i threw in a mix of x reader, x ghoul, and x oc.) feel free to dm me or send another ask if i didn't get it right this time! i can also point you towards a bunch of fantastic writers ♡

recs under the cut!

x ghouls

paper armor - @ratballet - copia x dewdrop

“Horns,” Aether says quickly, like the words in his mouth are searing him. “It’s his horns.” He spares a glance at Dewdrop’s door, like he’s afraid he might be pressed up against it, listening. “He’s shedding them." Dewdrop is shedding his horns. Copia tries to help.

Steadfast Love, Not Sacrifice - @st-danger - copia x aether x dewdrop

It’s a bit like a shark smelling blood, he thinks as they follow close behind. It's natural they were going to want to taste it, too. “Well,” Copia says, “some of us need our beauty sleep.” He hesitates, and then proceeds to look nervously between the two of them and continue, “I meant me, of course. You two are already very, erm. I should go to bed.” It’s such a flimsy excuse. The elevator reaches the third floor before any of them speak again. Aether clears his throat. “You don’t want to though.” Copia looks very called out, but can’t do much more than stare, before realizing the two ghouls beside him are waiting for an actual answer of some kind. The elevator beeps as it passes the fourth floor. “No,” Copia says slowly, and Aether’s stomach does a little swoop. “I don’t.” Or, Sometimes the reward is worth the risk. *No Man Taketh From is another favorite of mine with Papa IV and Aether.

x reader

A Message From the Bulletin Board - @writingjourney - copia x reader

The ministry’s bulletin board, ordinarily used for missing items or party announcements, contains a particularly interesting request this week – a lonely hearts ad. Or: You and Copia are secretly crushing on each other. You both have to reach maximum desperation before you make a move. * if you're in it for the long haul PLEASE read I Knew Nothing But Shadows THE hurt/comfort fic of all time. you won't regret it.

Confessional - @da-rulah - copia x reader

As a sister of sin, it was your duty to confess at least once a month, to have your sins praised by a higher up member of the clergy. But you only ever chose Thursday nights, when you knew he was on duty. And tonight, you were working up the courage to confess your darkest sin - the dreams you had been having… *check out Rituale Septem while you're at it. lotsss of feelings but with Papa III, instead.

x OC

sweeter red - @anamelessfool - copia x oc

Your kiss so sweet, your sweat so sour…sometimes I’m thinking that I love you... but I know it’s only lust. Copia is a scrungly little nerd and this totally happened to him. There's something about Cardinal Marian. Maybe it's the way she infuriates him with her laissez-faire attitude, or ingnites his soul with envy of her free spirit. Rage and love, at a certain point they merge together into an overwhelming burning in the heart and mind: passion.

you found the ache in my argument (series) - @the-lisechen - copia x oc

In which two reasonable people from different religious disciplines have a conversation. (A study in faith, hope, and love.)

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, leave kudos and/or comments!

[mode-lfy]

Sullyoon - Cheating

After a long day at work, Y/n was looking forward to come home and make love to Hyewon after a week of busy schedule for them both.

Tonight was the day where he planned to fuck her the whole night and have his fill with her.

After coming home, he took a shower and prepared dinner. Making sure that they would both have energy for what they are about to do that night.

Soon, the door opened and he excitedly came to the door to greet Hyewon but was surprised that he saw Hyewon and another woman.

"Hey babe, erm.... who is this?" He asked. The woman looks very familiar but he couldn't figure it out quick enough.

"Let me introduce you to her. She's Sullyoon. She's our new neighbour, she just entered university and moved in today." Hyewon informed.

"Oh... welcome." Y/n greeted.

Hyewon see the food on the table and asked Sullyoon to join them for dinner. After a dinner which the ladies had a nice conversation but it was a long wait for Y/n.

He couldn't wait to fuck Hyewon, he is waiting and he needs it.

After they had finished dinner, he sees Hyewon and Sullyoon having a long conversation, he calls her into the room and starts kissing her immediately as soon as they got into the room.

Hyewon got angry and loudly whisper, "what the hell are you doing?"

"Honey, it's been long time since we had sex... come on now, let's do it now." Y/n says as he touches her.

Hyewon got angry and shouted at him. "Sullyoon is in our house right now and all you think about is sex!?!?" She pushed him away and got out of the room.

Where Sullyoon was sitting on the couch, waiting for her to come back. Hyewon tries to reset her emotions and angry face and comes smiling to Sullyoon.

Hyewon sits back down with Sullyoon on the couch and continues talking with her.

Y/n lies down on the bed and is frustrated but decides to shower and wait for Hyewon to come.

After a long wait, Hyewon comes back into the room and looks at Y/n who is almost falling asleep due to how long he is waiting for them to finish the conversation.

He sees Hyewon lying down on the bed with him and he tries to jump on her, however was met with lack of enthusiasm.

"What are you doing?" Hyewon asked as Y/n kisses her neck and tries to strip her.

"Come on... let's have sex. It's been so long! I need it!!! It will be nice, don't worry. you will be wanting more soon." Y/n tries to persuade her.

Hyewon pushes him off, "Y/n... I'm really tired tonight after the long conversation. I just don't have the mood for it..." sitting up and looking at Y/n.

"Can I at least have a blowjob?" Y/n asked.

Hyewon then took off his pants and slowly pull out his cock out of his underwear. She then put his dick into his mouth, sucking it strongly.

Most of the time, the blowjobs given by Hyewon was good but this time, Y/n didn't feel the pleasure at all... it was more as if Hyewon just wanted this to finish quickly.

After awhile Y/n still couldn't put himself into cumming and sighed. "Hyewon, it's enough. I won't force you if you don't really want to do it."

Hyewon then got up and looks at Y/n, who was looking sad and frustrated. "Oppa... don't be angry, maybe tomorrow we will do it okay?" Hyewon, feeling bad, tries to comfort him and make him feel better.

"I'm going to the gym to do some work out and release some stress. Have a good sleep." Y/n says and got up.

Y/n then went to the gym below their residence and tries to do work out to vent out his frustrations. Then he sees Sullyoon in her long sleeve crop top hoodie and yoga pants in the gym too.

Luckily the gym is mostly empty as no one would be in the gym this late at night. He could see Sullyoon running on the treadmill and the yoga pants complimenting her nice round ass while it bounces up and down.

Y/n starts doing his exercises sloppily as he focuses on watching Sullyoon running, he sees her sweating and was able to see her beautiful white and tender-looking skin.

A bulge starts forming in Y/n's pants as he continues to watch Sullyoon doing her exercise and most importantly, her ass grabbing his attention.

Soon, Sullyoon stops for a breather and sees Y/n, who she walks towards. This got Y/n being anxious, was she about to confront him for staring at her?

"Hi! You are Hyewon's husband right. We met earlier on in your house." Sullyoon said, putting out her hand for a handshake.

Y/n shook her hand and could feel her smooth hand, it was so nice. He imagined it would be nice to have her give him a handjob.

"You go to the gym often?" Sullyoon asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes... I do go to the gym often." Y/n admitted.

"I will be going soon after doing some more running." Sullyoon said and walked away, continue to do some jogging before increasing up the pace.

Y/n made use of this opportunity to take some pictures of her ass and body before running into the locker room and upon seeing there was not a single soul, he laid down on the bench and started masturbating to her pictures.

Seeing how her ass is so firm and looks so sexy, he starts increasing his pace, stroking his dick harder and faster, imagining himself fucking Sullyoon, being able to grab her ass and body.

Suddenly the door opened, it was Sullyoon! She was shocked to see him stroking his cock, she stood there looking at him.

Y/n was surprised too but he continued and his cum burst out of his dick and he dropped his phone, exposing pictures that he took of Sullyoon.

"I came to take my belongings in the locker..." Sullyoon explained as she went to a locker and took her stuff.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to take pictures of you... I will delete it." Y/n said, face blushing red due to embarrassment.

After Sullyoon left, he clean up his mess that he did.

Days past, but Y/n and Hyewon did not get to have sex, even sometimes getting into arguments as Hyewon was tired and simply want to sleep once she got home. However he was always happy to see Sullyoon working out at the gym, despite them not talking and it being awkward between the two of them.

One day, Hyewon brought home some cake. "What's the occasion today?" Y/n asked, hugging Hyewon from the back as she is unpacking his stuff.

"Can we do it today? Let's have sex... I really have the mood today. I can do it whole night with you." He pokes his dick through his pants to Hyewon's ass.

"Let me have a rest first okay? Let me sleep for awhile and we can do it?" Hyewon suggested.

It was a sign that Hyewon didn't want to do it and she suggested it to waste time and they would end up sleeping until the next day.

How could a man last with no sex especially with such a beautiful woman with stunning figure as his wife.

"Can you help me deliver this cake to Sullyoon? She stays at (floor and unit number)." Hyewon asked, with cute eyes and touching him.

"Fine..."

Soon Y/n arrived at Sullyoon's house and knocked on the door and was greeted by Sullyoon in her workout outfit, he was happy to see her in her yoga pants.

"Hi..." Sullyoon said.

"Hi... erm my wife told me to give you this." Y/n said.

"You can put it on the table for me." Sullyoon said, opening the door for him. Y/n entered the house and put down the cake on the table.

Sullyoon got close and started taking pictures of the cake while Y/n stood behind her and admired her figure and ass. Sullyoon is a petite girl with beautiful features.

He started having a hard-on and imagined what would it be if he were to fuck her.

Sullyoon then slowly walk back to get a better picture, accidentally allowing Y/n's boner to poke her.

Sullyoon gasped, and stood up straight.

Trying to save the atmosphere, Sullyoon asked, "how are things between you and Hyewon?"

This shocked Y/n, then Sullyoon immediately added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything, it's just that I remembered you guys argued about sex when I last went into your house."

"It's okay, It's been a long time since I had sex with Hyewon. Also, I'm sorry that I took pictures of you and you caught me..... it's just that I have needs and no one could take care of it." Y/n said, looking down.

Sullyoon then got closer and put her hands on his shoulder. "Why not... let me take care of your needs..." She then tip-toed and kiss him before slowing kneeling down and pulling down his pants and underwear, allowing his erection to come out.

"I have sometimes thought about the time when I caught with your cock out in the gym locker room..." Sullyoon said before sucking his cock.

Sullyoon was inexperienced but she wanted to make Y/n feel good. Y/n sees her head bobbing up and down, he is enjoying this blowjob and wants this to last.

Soon he cums, Sullyoon smiled at him with her mouth full and she swallowed it. "Was it good?" Sullyoon asked, smiling seductively at him.

Y/n nodded as he caress her butt by putting his hands into her yoga pants and panties. "I have always fantasied about your ass, I imagine it would be so good to touch this." Y/n confessed.

"How is it now that you touch and felt my butt?" Sullyoon asked.

"It is amazing." Y/n admitted.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Sullyoon asked.

"I can't cheat on Hyewon..." Y/n said, hesitating.

"Just don't cum in me.... it would be fine..." Sullyoon said, trying to convince him.

Sullyoon then took of her clothes, exposing her naked body to him. Then Y/n took off his clothes and starts kissing her passionately and caress her body. Feeling every inch of her body, as they both kissed.

Soon, Sullyoon led him to the bedroom where she laid on the bed and asking him to fuck her missionary style.

Y/n starts fucking her, ramming his cock into her pussy and sucks her breast before sucking on her shoulders as he focused on thrusting his dick in her. Sullyoon was enjoying this and felt held on to his hair as Y/n continued to fuck her.

Soon, Y/n says, "I'm going to cum! I need to pull out soon!"

"Abit more, Y/n!" Sullyoon urged him.

"But..." Y/n was worried.

"Come on! Just fuck me, daddy! Continue fucking me!" Sullyoon said.

At this moment, Y/n allowed his dick to do the thinking and he continued thrusting before he felt he was about to go over the edge.

"I need to pull out now!" Y/n softly shouted.

Sullyoon then wrapped her legs around his waist and denying him the chance to pull out. Then his cum burst out into her pussy.

Y/n then gasped, "Oh no..."

Sullyoon then pull him closer for a hug and kissed him, "that felt good... thank you."

'Oh no... what have I done...' Y/n thought to himself after what he had done.

—————————————————————————————

It's been a long time since I wrote smut, so have one now, btw don't let this affect your view on Sullyoon. I don't want anyone to think she is bad or anything. Since this is my first time writing a cheating smut(I think), I hope no one is offended by how I portrayed Sullyoon/Hyewon here.

[etherealphosphor]

Venti’s Dilemma

⟡ Contains: Venti x Gn!Reader, Sfw, Fluff, Reader is critical of themselves

Something about you had always stuck out to Venti, and he didn’t quite know what. Perhaps it was how the wind blew in your hair? Or was it how you laughed at all of his jokes? Maybe it was how you’d always bring him back to your place after he got too drunk, insisting that you’d take the couch so he could have a good night’s sleep.

Whatever it was, Venti knew one thing for sure: He was hopelessly in love with you. But what kind of archon falls in love with a mortal? Venti had read his fair share of legends, and he knew that it would only end in heartbreak. That’s how it always was. But no matter how many times he told himself that he could never love you, he just couldn’t bear to distance himself from you.

Venti cursed himself for his abysmal self-control, but the fact of the matter was, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Your hair, your eyes, your smile—it all made him weak in the knees. He tried everything to vent his emotions, hoping they would disappear. He wrote his thoughts down, sang songs about how he felt, went to the library and checked out every book on romantic advice, and even went to talk to Zhongli about it. Nothing. None of it worked.

The way you sweetly called his name was enough to make him scrap all of his research. Which was a shame, since do you know how awkward it is to ask Zhongli for advice on romance!? And the looks Venti got from Lisa after checking those books out were enough to keep him out of the library for at least a month. Alas, his feelings couldn't be ignored.

Venti knew that he had to tell you about how he felt at some point, and he assured himself that you would definitely reject him and that he would have his peace of mind in the end. However, deep down, he actually wished for your affection.

One night, he decided to invite you out for a drink. You accepted happily, glad to spend more time with him. It was always nice to listen to him talk as he got progressively more drunk; it was quite endearing in an odd sort of way. This time, though, Venti barely touched his drink. That was a first. You started to wonder if something was wrong before he asked you to accompany him outside.

You agreed, but you were concerned and curious about what he needed to talk to you about. Venti took your hand in his, leading you to a very lovely bench in Whispering Woods. It was a nice bench; however, it was clear that Venti didn’t want to take you there just for small talk. You turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak. Despite reading all of those books on romance, Venti still had no idea how to begin to tell you about his feelings, and he was getting quite a bit nervous.

"I—uh.. I brought you here because.. uhm.. I wanted to talk to you about—" He paused and then changed the subject, saying, "Erm, the moon is nice, isn’t it?"

You kept looking at him, your interest piqued. What did he have to tell you that was so important? It was not unusual for Venti to stumble over his words, but never like this.

"Yes, the moon is quite nice tonight. Though, Venti, you didn’t just bring me out here to see it, did you? Is there something on your mind? You can talk to me, you know." You said this, reaching out your hand to feel Venti’s forehead for a fever. While this was an odd thing to do, it was second nature to you as an adventurer whenever someone was acting off and looked a little flushed.

Venti’s face only got redder, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief when you took your hand away. How could he ever get through this conversation when his heart was beating so fast?

"Hm, not a fever, then? Just nerves?" You said. This was half a question and half an observation.

"Mhm.. please [Name], don’t worry yourself. I’m not sick." Venti looked down at the ground. He knew that if he gazed into your eyes, he would never get this conversation over with. "I just need to tell you something important. Really important."

You were getting more curious by the minute; what could Venti possibly have to say to you? You were being more than a little dense, taking things at face value rather than looking deeper into what they could mean. "Alright, what is it?"

Venti looked up from the ground, and he accidentally made direct eye contact with you. "I—uh.. well," Venti continued to stutter, quickly looking away again. Then he took a deep breath and said it. "I like you, [Name]."

Your eyes widened a little. What? The man before you had his face in his hands now, absolutely mortified. "Wait.. Venti? Do you mean that you—"

"Yes, [Name]. I really like you. And please don’t say anything. Don’t tell me how you don’t feel the same; I already know you don’t. I just wanted to get it off my chest." Venti said it very quickly, sounding a little panicked.

You sat there in shock and replied, "Venti, you’re an archon, and I’m a mortal; you—"

Venti cut you off again. "I know; I know it won’t work out. You don’t need to remind me. A god and a mortal? That’s crazy, right?" Venti’s voice shook a little, and tears came to his eyes.

Seeing him on the verge of tears broke your heart. You quickly embraced him, wrapping your arms around his body. "No, Venti. That’s not it."

Venti looked at you, surprised. "What..?"

"I like you too, Venti. I really do. I wasn’t trying to tell you that a relationship between us wouldn’t work out; I was just wondering why you would pick me." You stroked Venti’s hair gently, trying to soothe him.

"Wha—you like me? Really..? What do you mean you don’t know why I’d pick you?" Venti looked at you with moonlight reflected in his eyes.

"I mean, look at you; you’re the Anemo Archon; all the people in Mondstadt admire you. You have festivals, traditions, songs, and so much more. Why would someone as important as you ever like me?"

Venti was a little shocked at your response, "[Name], I’m really not as important as you say I am; the people just—"

You cut him off. "You’re that important to me."

Venti blushed a little more; your comments were like kindling for the flame inside of him. "My point still stands. There’s no reason why I wouldn’t like you, [Name]. My fancy title doesn’t make a difference to how I feel."

You stopped hugging him, staring at your feet. "Well, it should."

Venti couldn’t take it when you said stuff like that. You were always so critical of yourself, and he never knew why. He always thought you were amazing just the way you were.

"Look at me, [Name]." His voice was serious but had a comforting tone at the same time.

You looked up into those green eyes of his; the full moon was reflected in them. Quickly, Venti took your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You were a little surprised at first, but quickly leaned into the kiss and wrapped your arms around Venti again.

"I’m never going to let anyone speak to you like that again, not even yourself." Venti said, catching his breath.

"Good luck with that." You smiled before going back in for another kiss.

You and Venti stayed like that for a while, embracing each other under the moonlight.

[the1975attheirverybest]

A/N: wasn’t gonna post this. Might take it down later.

Idk.

Warnings: mental illness depiction. Depression.

———

She smiled in anticipation as she clicked the door shut behind her, grocery bag in cradled in her arm, a floral arrangement sticking out of it. She’d been looking forward to this all week. A home cooked meal, or, more importantly, a sit-down dinner with Matty, for which they’re both present and in no rush to get to work, catch a meeting, or go anywhere.

Upstairs, however, Matty panicked at the sound of her coming through the door. He sat up in bed, looking helplessly around the room. Would it be more beneficial to just get out of bed and pretend that he wasn’t even in the room? To lie and say that he was feeling sick? To pretend to be asleep? He’d been lying to her all week. It’s felt awful, but he’d done it to spare both of them the emotional drain. He knew it was for the best. Pretending to be already asleep whenever she came home every night this week, just to avoid having to spend time together, to see her, talk to her, fake a smile. Focus on conversations, or hear about her day and tell her about his. He didn’t have the mental energy for any of that; besides, he didn’t have much to say about his own days. He couldn’t stomach having to admit to her that he’s been getting out of bed late every morning, then counting the hours until he could get back into it again. That he’d been getting back into bed as early as 6 pm, and just waiting for sleep to come so he doesn’t have to be conscious, alone with his own thoughts, anymore. So he’s been lying. Letting her think that he was fast asleep by the time that she got home late. Feeling her tiptoe around the room to undress and get ready for bed, feeling her slide under the covers and give his forehead a little kiss goodnight. Tonight, however, she’d gotten home earlier than expected. It was only 6:30. He wasn’t going to let her catch him in bed already. But he had no energy to get up, let alone put on a brave face and act normal all night.

He listened for her footsteps as he contemplated which of his many lies would be the least cruel, she’s looking in the kitchen, the bathroom, his office. Soon, she’d be here. Matty felt paralyzed. Was it the indecision? The crippling depression?

Anxiety over the inevitable argument? He couldn’t bring himself to move.

“There you are!” He heard her silvery voice as she popped her head in, pausing by the doorway once her eyes had finally landed on him.

He watched as her expression changed almost instantly, furrowing her brows as she focused her gaze on him. He’d attempted a smile, mustered the energy to greet her, but before the words were out of his mouth, she interrupted.

“Matty, honey, what’s wrong?”

He was stumped. He had ‘t settled on a lie yet. At this point, he was willing to say anything, but when he tried to respond quickly, to reassure her that everything was fine and to redirect the conversation, nothing came to mind. And the longer it took him to respond, the more worried she became. With every second that went by, the lie that he needed became bigger, more difficult.

“Uhh- erm- I…well, I’m-“

She approached the bed slowly, sitting by his feet. “Everything alright?”

She’d moved the air with her. He could smell the scent of her perfume, and even from a distance, he assumed her hands were a bit cold from the chilly nights breeze. She had that outside energy about her. Like someone who’s done a whole days worth of things while he’d laid here the whole time.

“Everything’s fine.” He mumbled, his eyes dropping down to stare at the duvet.

“You sure?” She grabbed his foot over the covers, squeezing gently. Concern itched into her voice, she dipped her head lower in an attempt to meet his eyes.

Matty’s hands tightened into a fist around the duvet. He took a deep breath. “Y-yeah, yeah. Was just trying to take a nap that’s all.” He smiled, weakly.

“I got us some stuff for dinner.” She announced more cheerfully. “I was thinking we could, like, make a date out of it. Cook together or something. But if you’re too tired, we don’t-“

“No, no. Let’s, erm….let’s do it.”

The pangs of guilt in his chest were too strong to let her down. The whole reason he’d been avoiding her all week was because he wanted to spare her the morbid pain. He wasn’t going to let all that effort go to waste now.

***

“So, how’s your week?” Matty had heard her ask, as he moved the food around on his plate, not even able to bring himself to eat. “Your dinner’s not been touched.” She noticed. “Baby, what’s going on?”

When he panicked and lifted his eyes to look at her, she saw it. It hit her then that she should’ve figured it out much sooner. The heaviness behind his eyes. His sparkle gone. He didn’t dance, nod, or even hum along to the music in the kitchen earlier. Every night this week, when she’d come home to find him sleeping, he’d be in joggers and a t shirt. Just like he was now. She knew he normally slept in nothing but his boxers. Having his clothes still on meant that he hasn’t gotten ready for bed. Hadn’t bothered to take his clothes off, probably hadn’t brushed his teeth either. How could she not have pieced it to nether until now?

“Oh, baby…come here.” She set her fork down with a clang against the plate, rising to her feet and walking over to him instantly.

She held his head as he laid it against her stomach, keeping his close and buried into her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She whispered, caressing his cheek.

Matty simply shook his head.

“How bad?”

“Not that bad.” He spoke into the fabric of her shirt. “It’s fine I’m- you know me. I always get this way sometimes.”

He was right. She knew that. She knew how much he struggled to be back home in between long stretches of touring. He’d always had a hard time with breaks. As hectic and taxing as your life was, it was structured. His time was accounted for. He knew where he needed to be and when he needed to be there. He knew what his next moves were going to be for several months at a time. The adrenalin and the work kept him going. he preferred to stay busy. Once he was yanked out of that and left to his own devices, he usually fell into a depressive episode.

“Well, have you gone outside? When was the last time?” She began to run through her checklist in her mind.

His silence told her everything that she needed to know.

“What about food. Have you eaten at all today?”

He remained silent but his arms came up to wrap around her waist, pulling her even tighter into him.

“I assume no water either, then?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered after another moment of silence.

“Don’t be sorry, my love.”

***

She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling, with Matty’s arms wrapped around her. He buried his face into her stomach, held on to her so tightly that she could barely breathe. as if she might run away if he were to ease up. She’s laid there as he’d sobbed into her all night, rubbing his back, occasionally running her hand through his hair. They hadn’t said much to each other. There was nothing that either of them could say. But they both knew that clinging on to her like a terrified child and have her gentle touch soothe his pain was what he needed most in that moment. It got him to cry himself to sleep.

It had the opposite effect on her though. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face. Dark circles underneath his eyes. The light gone from his face. She heard the heaviness in his voice. His sniffling and hiccups, the way that he couldn’t bring himself to face her or talk to her or give himself permission to receive comfort from

Her.

She knew that he’d be out of the darkness sooner or later. It had happened before, and as much as it pained her, she knew it would happen again. None of it makes the feeling of watching the person that you love most in this world struggle any easier. She wished she could take his pain away. If love were enough, she would spare none of it. She’d wrap him up in her love and protect him from the hurt. Love wasn’t enough though. It never would be. She didn’t know how to make him hear her. To break through the walls that went up around him. To pull him out of this. She would just have to be content with how things are right now. Up all night worrying about him, so he could finally hold her tight and get some much needed rest. She could lay here as the night dragged on and hope that he felt a little better tomorrow.

[eggymf-archived]

of paper planes and wildflowers; 12

ft. ominis gaunt with f!reader (series)

chapter warnings: duncan hobhouse, just chaos all around, warranted assholery?, a slightly unhinged author? (lmao idk y’all decide that for yourselves), idiots in love

chapter summary: subtlety was necessary to preserve one's reputation, and in this case, to keep your lives trouble-free from nosy little bastards. alas, a certain bespectacled male is threatening the peace with his desire for vengeance after facing the biggest humiliation in his entire life. 

word count: 5.8k

a/n: haven’t written for this series in a hot minute, but yolkie is back with more chaos.

main masterlist || series masterlist || AO3

Etiquette — the unspoken, number one rule that every person of eloquence swears to like a lifetime oath. To a young woman such as yourself, it was necessary to exercise restraint and prudence all in the name of preserving your own dignity. Any acts that will make a lady lose her composure are to be avoided, and she must maintain an iron-clad will capable of resisting the most entrancing of charms, especially from men.

Unfortunately for you, your pen pal was insanely lethal with his well-thought execution of words, and you’ve never gone through a week without at least screaming into your unfortunate pillow once for the past few weeks. A sharp wit alongside his innate gentlemanly ways? It truly made you weak at the knees, and you didn't bother denying it at this point.

Ominis Gaunt was indeed a formidable force to be reckoned with. 

My Dearest, (Y/N) The wintery air is getting rather brutal as of late, and I couldn't help but overhear the chattering of your teeth whenever I'm near you. As much as I'd love to whisk you away just to warm up by a fireplace wrapped with warm blankets or, dare I say it, in each other's arms, we are unfortunately in different houses with different common rooms. Instead, I took the liberty of going to Hogsmeade to buy you some Pepper Imps from Honeydukes and Pepperup Potions from J. Pippins. Be careful not to consume either one of those too much lest you aspire to be a fire-breathing dragon or another Hogwarts Express with all that steam coming out of your ears.  May this warm you up despite my physical absence. With everlasting devotion, Ves P.S. I mean it, by the way. As to which part of my letter I'm pertaining to, I shall leave it up to your own assumption.

Your lips were tightly pressed together, desperately suppressing your series of snorts and giggles as you inhaled sharply in hopes of maintaining your composure. The piece of parchment was neatly folded in half and kept securely within your inner coat pocket while you placed the box of Pepper Imps and Pepperup Potions atop your small stack of books. Much to the chagrin of your rational side, (who was being a complete spoilsport by vehemently reminding you of how a lady should act) your cheeky little eyes decided to sneakily glance towards the Slytherin table, only to find that your beloved sender isn't there. 

“Hello there.”

The sound of cutlery rattling against ceramic cut through the otherwise peaceful ambiance as you instinctively turned towards Ominis, your hand hitting your plate accidentally.

“Oh! Erm… Hello,” you coughed, clearing your throat, and moving your things aside so that he could take a seat beside you. He gratefully accepts, his perfume wafting to your nose, smelling absolutely divine as usual. Nothing that your self-control couldn’t handle, though.

“I need your help with this part of the essay that's due next week. Merlin, Transfiguration can be rather vexing at times,” he groans.

“Is this about what you wrote to me via owl the other day?”

Ominis nods in response with a sigh, handing you a piece of parchment, your eyes instantly scanning over his written words speedily. 

“Seems a bit lacking, but it's fixable. I could help you with this if you'd like,” you suggested with much enthusiasm.

“Thank you, truly. I'd gladly take up on that offer,” he smiles while you grinned in response, happily chattering away with him as you ate the remnants of your lunch.

Truth be told, this whole request of his was merely just an excuse for him to spend more time with you aside from your usual obligations. There was really not much the both of you could do within the Great Hall or anywhere within the castle grounds for the sake of following proper decorum: the both of you had to be careful from prying eyes to save yourselves from the terrors of gossip or anything that will put your images on the line. 

Reputation — arguably the most shallow yet still the most important to any young witch or wizard who wished to be respected by their fellow peers. Despite its fragility, it was the root of many beginnings within a social circle, especially as someone who was in the process of making a name for themselves. 

But how far were you exactly willing to go for how the public eye perceives you? Surely no one's insane enough to fabricate their own image with the threads of lies. With how fast news travels within the walls of Hogwarts, deceptions of the sort would crumble down in a blink of an eye; like lightning smiting a spire with its unbridled force, resulting in its untimely destruction despite its fortified state.

Such is the case with Duncan Hobhouse, who was moments away from experiencing what the mystics know as “The Tower” moment: a point of sudden upheaval— an inevitable crisis. 

As to how it all began, it was ironically brilliant yet stupidly careless all at the same time: while you and Ominis were in your happy little bubble, a 6th year Ravenclaw student, who happened to be sitting beside Duncan, had mistakenly grabbed her secret vial of nearly-perfected Veritaserum instead of her specially-made Gillywater from her satchel. Before she could check the labels, she had already poured out the contents into her cup, only for Duncan to mistakenly drink the cloudy liquid whilst in a fit of coughs from his food going down the wrong pipe. 

Needless to say, things went downhill pretty fast.

“Oi, Hobhouse! Pass me the pudding, will you?!” Andrew Larson called out, only to be met with an uncharacteristically bold and snarky reply from the fuller-bodied male.

“How about you get it yourself, you blonde-haired, scrawny little prick?! The last time I checked you have a pair of functioning hands and legs!”

Who would've thought that a slightly botched Veritaserum could have a similar effect to a Befuddlement Potion?

Andrew stared at him dumbfoundedly with the most incredulous expression on his face while Eric Northcott and Leander Prewett, who were seated and standing near him respectively, had their mouths ajar out of shock. Duncan was no different from the three— his eyes wide as he slapped his mouth instinctively after spewing out a set of brutally honest words for once.

The 6th year seated beside him visibly paled, hurriedly rummaging through her satchel, only to find her vial of Gillywater within it before checking her own cup, which was now nearly empty.

“Oh no…” she whispers while Duncan whipped his head towards her direction in evident panic. “I think you drank from my cup….”

Duncan whips his head in her direction, giving her a panicked yet furious glower.

“Well go on! Tell me, you foul insect! What was in your blasted cup?!” he hissed, much to her fright.

“I… I have to go!” She cries out, collecting her things in a fit of distress as she makes a beeline for the Great Hall’s gargantuan doors for the sake of self-preservation. It was, after all, against the school rules to use Veritaserum on a student, and she had done just that albeit accidentally. 

However, she ended up leaving the empty vial with a written label adhered to its surface, the bottle rolling from underneath the wooden bench. Duncan reaches for the bottle, only for another hand to grab it away from him. Eric Northcott smirks at this, both Leander and Andrew crossing their arms with smug grins on their faces as Eric read the label before dangling the bottle in front of Duncan's visibly terrified face.

“I believe we've struck gold this time around, my fellow lads! Hobhouse is under the truth serum! ”

A chorus of ooooohs soon followed, garnering the attention of students from the other tables as well. You and Ominis, who were both quietly minding your own business, paid close attention to the scene nearby. 

“Wait! Shouldn't we report this to a professor—” Amit Thakkar attempts to intervene, only for a piece of bread to be stuffed in his mouth by Everett Clopton, who shot him a glare. You glanced around, expecting at least a prefect to jump in to intervene, only to find none. Hell, even the Head Girls and Boys remained seated, watching the whole scenario unfold attentively. 

Exactly how horrible is this person to the point that no one's bothering to stand up for him?

“Goodness. Hobhouse is so unlikable even the prefects aren't bothering to help at all. Not sure if I should be impressed but that's quite a feat, I suppose?” you commented with a grimace, much to Ominis' amusement.

“And not a single professor in sight too. Go on, Andrew. Do the honors,” Eric snickers, much to the said male's delight.

“Let's test it out first with a simple little question, shall we? I'm feeling rather merciful today, anyways,” Andrew began, pacing back and forth before leaning towards Duncan. “Is it true that you're afraid of Puffskeins?” 

Duncan's lips quivered, attempting to suppress the potion's effects, all to no avail.

“... Y-yes.”

Giggles and chortles erupted from the others around him while Andrew snorted in amusement, patting Leander's shoulder who immediately sat beside Duncan, his hand pressing over his shoulder harshly as soon as he attempted to escape. 

“Hey, Hobhouse. Is it true that you wrote a love letter to Imelda Reyes?” the lanky ginger-haired male asks.

“... Yes.”

Wolf whistles soon erupted from the Slytherin table, much to Imelda's chagrin.

“So what did she say?” Andrew queries.

“... She… Didn't reply.”

Guffaws of laughter immediately followed his answer, much to his painful embarrassment.

“You're not my type, Hobhouse!” Imelda hollered from the Slytherin table, causing another round of ooooohs to erupt from the crowd as they all grimaced at the blatant public rejection.

“Hey, Northcott!” Ominis shouts, beckoning the Gryffindor to come over before whispering into his ear. Duncan became as white as a sheet upon realizing who Eric was talking to. The said male came jogging back towards him with an evil grin plastered on his face.

This was the perfect opportunity to expose him for his cowardice once and for all.

“So, tell me, Hobhouse. That gigantic Venomous Tentacula leaf you showed all of us a week or two ago as proof of your courage — who got it for you?”

Duncan grits his teeth, beads of cold perspiration running down the side of his face.

“...S… Skylar… Evans…” he admits through clenched teeth, ending with a sharp gasp. Murmurs soon filled the Great Hall after this revelation followed by a series of jeers. 

In a fit of rage, Duncan shoved Leander off him, falling ungracefully off the bench before scrambling to his feet and running towards the exit of the Great Hall. The faint sounds of snickers from his fellow peers pricked against the skin of his ears spitefully, reducing him into a seething, fiery red mess in the face as he attempts to run away from their mocking gaze.

His life, as of that moment, was over.

His reputation, the sole thing that he had desperately tried to fix after that embarrassment he faced during Defense Against the Dark Arts classes a while back, was now irreparably ruined no thanks to all that had happened beforehand during lunch break. 

Stupid Boggart. Stupid Puffskeins. Had Professor Hecat decided not to push through with that bloody lesson then perhaps he wouldn’t be in this mess. It was all their fault: Eric Northcott, Andrew Larson, Leander Prewett, and last but not least, Ominis Gaunt.

Duncan's blood boiled at the mere notion of the Slytherin student's name, gnashing his teeth in silence while clenching his pudgy fist as he made his way to his next class. Ominis Gaunt was a thorn that was permanently embedded into his flesh — the bane of his entire existence. Had Ominis just chosen to zip his mouth about the matter of their long, petty feud regarding his clear lack of courage, then perhaps he would be at peace at this very moment with his pathetically glued-up reputation still intact albeit barely.

But of course, Duncan, at the end of the day, was a big fat liar and not the best egg around with his innately horrid attitude that is well-known, especially amongst his Ravenclaw housemates, and Ominis had no qualms with putting such people rightfully into their places. In fact, the young Gaunt thrived off the chaos of well-deserved misery.

To Duncan Hobhouse, this was war. Ominis Gaunt will pay for this great humiliation dearly— an eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth.

Thus, his grand plan for vengeance begins.

It has been a few days— two painful days to be precise. Duncan had been watching Ominis like an ever-vigilant Augurey within the shadows, peering from a relatively safe distance as he attempted to observe the misty-eyed male. Gathering information, after all, was necessary in executing his dastardly plans of exposing his top tormentor once and for all. Surely the Gaunt has at least one weakness that he could use as ammunition to snipe him off his back for good.

Initially, the greasy-haired male had thought that spying on the blind student would be an easy feat given his disability. He has (and rather oafishly at that) always viewed Ominis as vulnerable despite his snark— the type who would be alone most of the time with no one to fend for him other than his sharp tongue. To further fuel his shallow inferences, Sebastian Sallow, Ominis' own best friend, hasn't been loitering much around his presence as of late. His plan was assumed to be nearly “perfect” based on his own standards until it wasn't.

Aside from the Gaunt constantly either sleeping, reading the same poem book in a corner, occasionally having small talk with his fellow 5th years, or studying with you in the library, there was nothing noteworthy that can be used to clang the bells of shame on him. To make matters more unfavorable for the bespectacled male, you had been accompanying Ominis for the majority of the time even during break times, much to his utter confusion.

Duncan's eyes, ridden with suspicion, squinted accusingly as you and Ominis loitered at the fountain of the currently not-so-crowded Central Hall, seemingly in good spirits with your little interaction. You were attempting to pry a book from his hands, only for the taller male to merely raise the book out of reach from your smaller stature. He had an amused expression plastered on his face, his lips curled into the faintest of smiles with pink tinging his cheeks. 

The whole sight of the young Gaunt's evident happiness annoyed the male Ravenclaw to no end. In the sea of his own inner bitterness, there was, however, a small little question that was begging to be addressed albeit its irrelevance to the matter at hand.

Since when have the two of you been this close?

At the sound of the several shuffling footsteps nearby, he instantly retreats behind the wall, glaring at whoever interrupted his momentary pondering session.

“You know, Natty. I know that she's a Ravenclaw, but bloody hell she's really quite daft when it comes to romance, isn't she?” the faint voice of Garreth Weasley groans. “They've been at this for weeks now. I'm going mad!”

“Oh, stop being dramatic. All that matters is that they're happy and aren't getting into trouble,” Natsai dismisses while Garreth sighed woefully.

“I suppose you're right. Ominis can't be that bad. Though I wouldn't mind if he was— ow! What was that for?!” Garreth winces upon getting elbowed rather sharply by his fellow Gryffindor, their footsteps fading as they sauntered through the nearby hallway.

Duncan furrowed his eyebrows in further bemusement, heading to a better spot where he could observe the situation from a much better angle. Surely someone was pulling his leg right now. There was no way in hell that the assumption that had been injected within his head upon eavesdropping on Weasley and Onai is correct. 

Ominis Gaunt and you? It simply doesn't make sense. 

He leans casually against the wall with eyes zeroing on his sole target, only for his concentration to be interrupted once more by yet another pair of people who were merely passing by: Poppy Sweeting and Skylar Evans.

“... Is there something going on between them? Never expected them to become this close,” a rather inquisitive Poppy muses, which was met with a cheeky little giggle from Skylar who merely raised her eyebrows. Poppy's eyes widened.

“There is?!” she mouthed silently while the taller Hufflepuff nodded in response. The duo were soon out of sight as they headed up the main stairwell that leads to the exit. 

A flabbergasted Duncan glances at you and Ominis once again, his mouth hanging open with pure shock. So it's true then: something is going on with you and Ominis. But unfortunately, this wasn’t the information that he needed. Thus, his impatience eventually got the best of him.

“Oh, to hell with it all!” he seethes, stomping towards the library while throwing a hissy fit like a sweet-deprived petulant child. This was hopeless— utterly nonsensical. He was a complete fool for even thinking that this ploy would work. The bitter taste of defeat flooded Duncan's mouth, and he was ready to just lash out at the nearest Muggleborn who dared to cross his path.

That is until he was finally graced with an opportunity as he overheard your conversation with Ominis as he walked by.

“...Precisely why it shouldn't be handled carelessly,” Ominis hums, tapping the book that was still held by his pale, veiny hands.

“Oh? And this book contains some sort of secret that I'm not aware of?” you curiously inquired. Ominis smirks.

“Certainly. That's why I urge you to not open or even touch it for your own sake. It may seem like an ordinary book but really, it's not. My father will be livid once he finds out about the contents. You could say it’s… A dirty little secret of some sort.”

Alas, a boy's broken ego holds no bounds, and his level of futile pettiness outweighs his sense of sound rationality, clamoring at every opportunity no matter how dodgy it seemed— an accurate depiction of Duncan Hobhouse at this very moment as delusions of victory filled his thick skull once again.

It was a pitiful case of selective hearing fueled by desperation. Oh, when will he ever learn?

Subtlety— the art of using indirectness with graceful tact; a simple strategy that avoids any unnecessary trouble while also featuring one's own wit. There were two cases of the particular day that embodies the essence of the word, which shall unravel itself within the four towering walls of the library— one depicting the daintiness of a maiden and her heart's desire, and the other featuring the mind of a tactful strategist who's currently under the watchful eye of an enemy spy.

There was a certain stillness within the place at this particular time of the day along with it being nearly deserted, which was perfectly conducive for studying. You had promised to help Ominis with a particular assignment, and both of you were in the presently deserted Transfiguration Section, searching for several specific books that he needed for his write-up. Your eyes scan the book spines with your study buddy following you closely, enjoying the present tranquility.

However, the ever-fleeting peace soon disintegrated as soon as you witnessed a certain Ravenclaw male peering from a distance, his determined eyes fixated on a certain foggy-eyed male before instantly darting back behind a nearby bookshelf. Your lips curled downwards, turning to Ominis.

“Say, Hobhouse has been rather weird today. I think this is the 6th time I’ve seen him loitering around us,” you pointed out. An aggravated exhale escaped his lips.

“He’s been stalking for days, actually. It’s getting rather annoying.”

“Days? Oh dear. Is this about the whole fiasco in the Great Hall earlier this week? I could tell him to bugger off if you want. He's known to be quite insufferable when he's crossed.” 

“I’d rather not dwell on it too much, really. It’s better to bore him to death than give him another reason to yap about how I’m the villain in his delusional scenarios,” Ominis yawns, to which you chuckled whilst nodding in agreement. 

Duncan did have that gnarly reputation of wallowing in his theatrical self-pity, and you had witnessed it many times before the incident. Ominis brushing him off though? It was both respectably mature and amusing of him all at the same time, given his blatant record of dragging the ebony-haired male to absolute filth with his sassy quips and haughty remarks.

Unbeknownst to anyone other than Ominis himself, however, he was far from taking the high road this time around. It wasn’t difficult to sense that Duncan was truly out for his blood with how incessant he was for the past few days. Truth be told, it left an unsettling feeling within the Gaunt’s gut. For his own safety, he had laid out a fairly simple trap.

A famished animal was bound to do whatever it takes to get its food no matter the cost, and all Ominis had to do was wait for it to take the bait.

“Well, if you insist. The offer still stands if you change your mind. Though I have to admit. Your… Omniscience is quite impressive,” you mused. “For someone who lacks the sense of sight, you’re surprisingly more aware of your surroundings than most people with the complete set of five.”

“Omniscience? I'm not a deity, you know,” he chuckles. “I can just feel it when someone is looking at me. I think you of all people should be most aware of that. How many times have I caught you staring at me again?”

“Oh, wipe that smirk off your face, Gaunt,” you rolled your eyes in jest at his question, a reddish hue creeping up your cheeks as your voice dropped into a mumble. “It's not my fault you're so… Easy on the eyes.”

Now, it was his turn to blush while the corner of his lips twitched upwards ever so lightly. “... Easy on the eyes, eh? So you're not denying it anymore.”

“That I look at you from time to time? Maybe.”

“Time to time is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?”

“Not really. Unless you're insinuating an invitation of some sort. Perhaps you want me to lay my eyes upon you more?” you raised an eyebrow nonchalantly. An amused chuckle rumbled from his chest as he leaned against the bookshelf while crossing his arms.

“I’m not opposed to that, but I’ll leave it to your own assumptions, my dearest.”

Upon hearing his words roll out from his tongue, you swore you felt time stop as realization dawns upon your unsuspecting little head. There it was— the sole proof you've been waiting for all this time.

It really was him, after all.

You paused, letting out a shaky exhale as you gazed longingly into his unseeing, milky blue eyes, shutting the heavy book in your hands with a soft thump. Verbally-said words aren't the form of concrete evidence that you had been seeking, but could you really lie to yourself at this point when the truth is already right in front of you this entire time? Perhaps throughout your pining, you were just being a coward towards your ever-growing feelings for Ominis Gaunt— the thought of a painful ending had caused you to overanalyze the entirety of the situation, merely looking at it from a lens of rationality instead of emotional intelligence. 

Alas, your foolishness has to end at some point, and you could only hope that you weren't too late.

“We both know it’s not an assumption at this point,” you stated with your fleeting newfound confidence surging through your veins. Ominis raised an eyebrow, his lips curling upwards.

“Oh? Getting bold, are we?”

“I believe “truthful” is the more accurate term. I'd much prefer to think of it as being honest with myself for once,” you sighed, turning towards him with your heart beating wildly within the confines of your ribs. 

“Ominis, my beloved evening star, the man of my affections, the keeper of my heart. Perhaps it's time that we finally stop this little game of cat and mouse?”

Ominis froze, his breath hitching at the specific endearment that spilled from your lips. Her beloved evening star — her Vesper.

Words failed to come out of his mouth as he stood there, stunned by your sudden heartfelt confession. He was an utter mess deep down, your words successfully obliterating his remaining brain cells into oblivion. His heart was deliriously hammering within his chest and his entire being felt absolutely featherlight— as if he could soar above the skies out of sheer bliss without a care in the world. For what seemed like an eternity, he finally let out a relieved exhale, gulping to soothe his parched throat. 

At long last, this day has finally arrived, and it was a lot more heart-stopping than he’d ever imagined it to be.

The pregnant silence that loomed between the both of you sent your mind into a flurry of nervousness, hopefulness slowly morphing into a sense of dread. To you, his deathly silence meant rejection, and you’d rather not crumble in front of anyone in your present increasingly vulnerable state.

“I… I'll just be on my way…” you muttered, tears stinging your eyes as you inhaled a lungful of air in hopes of maintaining your usual calm demeanor. You promptly returned the book you were previously flipping through before scampering to your belongings. 

Your dejection jolts him from his love-filled, hazy train of thoughts, his hands instinctively reaching for your smaller frame. You let out a small squeak of surprise as you were spun around, your face now pressed against his chest as he embraced you securely within his arms.

“Took you long enough…” he murmurs against your hair, relishing in the warmth of your body and your distinct floral scent— the scent that drove him nearly mad yet provided him with a sense of comfort and relief every single time it wafts up his nose. He was still in a state of disbelief, holding you with a hint of desperation as if you'll slip away from him once again the moment he lets go. 

Inhaling deeply once more, you succumb to your heart's desire, reciprocating his gesture with just as much fervor, tears of relief welling up in your eyes.

“... I was terrified you’d stop if I said yes," you admitted.

“And why is that?”

“You know how the tales of old wives go— things go stale after a while between couples and all that. And then there are novels depicting the same thing and I…” you trail off, bemoaning your worries. “Truth be told, I know nothing about this. I've never felt all of this before. I'm spewing out nonsense, aren't I?”

He lets out a deep hum, rummaging through his presently hopeless little brain for any words of comfort, all to no avail.

“If it helps, I haven't the slightest clue on how to handle this either.”

“That's not very reassuring.”

Ominis snorts at your deadpan response before erupting into a peal of mild laughter that instantly dispelled all your present worries. You joined in, bursting into a fit of giggles. He gently releases you from his hold, his hand cupping your cheek.

Your face was warm to the touch and he groaned lightly the moment he felt your pillowy lips brush against the skin of his palm. He never would've thought that it would come to this point— him needing to kiss someone so badly to the point where it hurts.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he uttered his plea with a slight tremor in his voice, the pad of his thumb caressing your lower lip.

“May I?”

Ba-thump... Ba-thump… Ba-thump…

“... Yes.”

The gap between both your lips was finally closed, your eyelids fluttering shut as he tenderly placed his lips upon yours. His hand wanders from your heated cheek to your nape, gently pulling you closer. He began to move his lips slowly, eliciting a soft whimper from you. A faint growl rumbled from his chest as he scooped you closer to him, placing his hand against the small of your back. 

This was bad. Your self-control was slowly whittling away no thanks to the heady scent of his perfume and minty breath after eating that Peppermint Toad earlier. And for such sacrilege to occur in the Transfiguration Section again? The realization on its own would’ve made you laugh if it weren’t for Ominis pushing you against a bookshelf, mindlessly bucking his hips against yours as he darts his tongue within your cavern to savor your taste.

The increasingly steamy moment was unfortunately cut short as a book was dropped unceremoniously on the wooden table at the opposite side of the bookshelf, a loud thud thundering across the library. You immediately pushed the lithe-framed male off you, instinctively fixing yourself while he turned away, pretending as if nothing had happened as he held his breath out of shock. The sound of Madam Scribner grumbling away was heard, and you could only heave a sigh of relief at her lack of awareness about what you and Ominis had done.

Ominis cleared his throat, his breathing less erratic as he clutched the books that you’ve picked out for his assignment.

“We should probably get started,” he mumbles while you nodded in response, scuttling away to your table. You were chewing on your lips this entire time as a way of containing yourself either from letting out a screech of sheer delight over the fact that you had finally done something right for your poor maiden heart, or a wail of horror after almost tarnishing your reputation by engaging in unsavory acts in a public space.

Either way, it was a happy ending for you and Ominis— for now, that is.

Upon sitting down at your seats, Ominis immediately reached for the short stack of books that he had left atop the table while the both of you were in the Transfiguration Section, only to find that there was one particular book missing. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards before reverting to its usual calm and collected state, scribbling away on his parchment.

And just like that, the prey fell into his simple little trap hook, line, and sinker. 

Surely he'll learn his lesson this time, right?

Karma— the summation of one’s actions; the most efficient teacher even to those who had been cursed with the thickest of skulls. The crippling lack of self-awareness is undoubtedly the greatest comedy of mankind, and oftentimes it was the main cause of one's own stagnancy in the development of the self. As long as one's ill will alongside actions prevails, one shall not roam free without paying the price of their actions. 

Such is the case with Duncan Hobhouse— again, but unsurprisingly so.

You watched in amazement as the fourth, fifth, and sixth consecutive misfortune befell him on this particular day. First, he had tripped on flat grounds before he could give his potion to Professor Sharp for inspection, causing his vial to shatter in the process. Upon going back to his station to refill another, his potion had solidified within his cauldron due to him forgetting to turn the heat off. Finally, as he was about to inform Professor Sharp of his plight, he slipped on the puddle of his own brew, hitting his head against the stone floor as he landed on his back with a pained groan.

The classroom buzzed with snickers and murmurs at the poor lad's plight, but it was soon silenced as Professor Sharp slammed his palm on the surface of his table, the rest of the remaining 5th years immediately focusing on their tasks at hand. The ex-Auror pinched the bridge of his nose, his patience progressively getting thinner and thinner at every mishap that had occurred within his classroom. It was only the first period, and he wanted to retire to his quarters (or better yet, from his job as a professor) as soon as possible. 

The visibly stressed-out Potions Master could only take so much tomfoolery from a bunch of oversized infants, after all.

Professor Sharp glanced longingly at his bottle of Firewhiskey at the corner of his classroom before reluctantly tearing his gaze from his coping mechanism, instructing Adelaide Oakes to bring Duncan to the Hospital Wing. Duncan hobbled towards his table, grabbing his Potions textbook along with a particular book belonging to a certain man named Ominis Gaunt who was in the same table as you were. Duncan glowered at poor Adeleide, who immediately slinked back to her station as he stormed out of the classroom on his own.

Peace soon looms over the Potions Classroom once again, the sound of faint bubbling concoctions and sparky mini explosions filling the room, only for it to be short-lived once again as a high-pitched scream echoed throughout the nearby hallway. 

And thus, you witness the seventh misfortune as Duncan ran past the classroom entrance with Peeves tailing him whilst cackling, armed with one of the decorative axes from the castle walls, ready to give him a good thwack.

For the first time, a part of Ominis relished in the outcome of his seemingly diabolical deed, the reverberating screams of fright belonging to his Ravenclaw nemesis sounding like the sweetest tune he had ever heard. He never expected that the hex he had placed on that book would be marvelously effective, and he made a mental note to safeguard his prized possessions with the very same spell — he had invented it himself, after all. 

Contrary to the rather brutal display of its effect courtesy of Duncan Hobhouse, it wasn’t an insidious spell as one would think once its true nature is understood. In fact, it was merely a hex that would only be triggered if an object were to be used for ill intent. With that notion in mind, Duncan’s intentions must’ve been utterly horrendous for the hex to be extremely potent, which was far more concerning than Ominis using the spell as a means of protection.

But then again, the crisis was successfully averted with impressive efficiency, and that alone was a source of pride for Ominis, who had a faint smile upon his thin lips. It was a rather productive day for him: successfully getting Duncan off his back, finishing his potion for Potions Class earlier than usual with you, and most of his assignments were already done in advance, leaving him with two options on what he shall do on his free time: studying with you somewhere within the castle grounds despite his reluctance, or convincing you to take a nap with him in a more secluded place. 

Either way, he already knew it was going to be a great day ahead.

< chapter 11: the duality of man 

chapter 13: a hideout within a hideout 🔞  >

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[very-normal-abt-this]

Things Left Unsaid

Aziraphale realized he can't possibly leave Crowley on the note on which their conversation ended. He goes to talk to him, as Crowley stands leaning on the Bentley.

"Did you...change your mind?" Crowley's voice sounded as if he was trying (and failing) to sound nonchalant.

"Erm..no...Not exactly." Aziraphale felt his face getting hot and his stomach turning to knots.

Crowley spat through clenched teeth: "So did you come back to FoRgIvE me some more?"

Aziraphale sighed and looked guilty. "No, of course not...Quite the opposite, actually. I believe it is I who needs forgiveness. That...um...that… was not the right thing to say earlier…given the circumstances. And…err.. it wasn't at all what I actually wanted to say. I'm sorry, Crowley. You… caught me by quite a surprise. Will you please come back to the bookshop so we can talk?"

Crowley stared at Aziraphale for a few moments. "No, Aziraphale. YOU caught me by quite a surprise. If you haven't changed your mind, I don't see what's left to talk about. You made your feelings abundantly clear..."

Aziraphale winced. "That's the thing...I um...I actually didn't. I don't think either of us did. Everything was happening too fast!"

"Angel. I don't know how to express my feelings any clearer than baring my soul to you, the way I did back there."

Aziraphale felt his face getting hot. He looked utterly dejected and avoided eye contact with Crowley. "Well…ehm…I see your point there. And yet...I am still asking you to at least give me another chance to express myself better. I am worried that...it might be the last chance I get to talk to you freely...at least for a while." He glanced over at the coffee shop nervously. "Please Crowley!"

Crowley looked away from the angel and was silent for a long moment. Finally he sighed, and said in a flat voice: "Okay. Fine. But only in honor of the 6000 years we've spent here together. ("which apparently means nothing" he mumbled under his breath). Aziraphale gave him a tentative and grateful smile.

Aziraphale glanced at Crowley furtively as they walked back to the bookshop in complete silence. Crowley walked inside, but stopped close to the entrance, as if to signal that his presence here was tentative and conditional. He crossed his arms and stood perfectly still. His body language was saying "Well?" as he waited for Aziraphale to speak.

Aziraphale's hands were clammy, and he felt like he might actually throw up. How is he supposed to explain his decision to Crowley? What is he to say? How is he supposed to convince him that this decision isn't the deepest betrayal of the Demon's trust, loyalty, and everything they have been through together since the beginning of time? Aziraphale had no answers to any of these questions. He just knew he had to start talking because the clock was ticking.

"Crowley…I am not going to try to convince you to come with me. But...If I'm being quite honest - It is hard for me to understand why you would turn down this opportunity. To have the freedom of doing what we had wished for all these years - throwing out 'politics as usual,' getting rid of the dogma focused on settling an ancient grudge, bringing about a new era focused on appreciating the universe for what it is." Aziraphale's face had a look that conveyed confusion and sadness.

Crowley responded coldly: "The only reason its hard for YOU to understand MY reasons is because you have not experienced Heaven in the way that I have. They don't give "freedom" to anyone. They DON'T like for things to be questioned. And they CERTAINLY don't like change. Remember the day you helped me create the stars and nebulas, do you remember the way I was back then? Have you ever wondered where all that naive excitement and unbridled joy went?" He paused. "I'll tell you where it went. THEY took it from me!" he was jabbing his finger at the sky. "When they threw me away like a discarded…discarded…. I don't know.. discarded old knickers!" Crowley's hands were hanging limply by his sides now. "I think you've gone completely delusional if you've convinced yourself that you can change them 'from the inside' all by yourself!"

"I'm Not delusional." said Aziraphale in an even tone. "And…I was assuming I would NOT be going 'all by myself.' When I said yes to Metatron, I assumed I would have…a…a partner who shares my quest to make changes. "

Crowley said bitterly: "The last time I tried to change things in Heaven...it didn't go so well for me. In case you forgoT." He emphasized the "T" on "forgot," in his typical manner. Aziraphale looked at him, feeling distraught for causing his friend to remember those awful memories. There was no arguing with this statement.

Heavy silence hung in the air as the Angel and the Demon faced each other, with torn expressions on their faces. Suddenly, Crowley started pacing and said: "And also, how exactly do you imagine this…reinstatement to angelhood going for me, hmm? Do you really think I'm just going to Crawl back up there, like a good little angel, and beg THEM for forgiveness, beg THEM for my halo back, with my widdle angel tail between my widdle angel legs -- well then you really don't know me at all!" Crowley was speaking quite loud now: "I will never repent for things that are not evil! I will NEVER repent for asking questions! And I will never repent for not…not having blind faith!" He stopped pacing and faced Aziraphale again. "That's not who I am now, and that's not who I was then. So, If you want me to come back to Heaven -- I don't think its actually ME that you want. You want some fantasy version of me, some version of me you made up in your pretty little head… because...because you can't actually accept me for who I am. Can you Aziraphale? Isn't that why you keep trying to forgive me?" Crowley's mouth was in a tight line, and his face was filled with rejection and hurt.

Aziraphale felt like someone punched him in the gut, his breath was caught in his throat. As he tried to process what Crowley had just said, panicky thoughts filled his head. "Could he be right? Do I want to change Crowley into something he is not? Our relationship would certainly be easier and...more...accepted if Crowley was reinstated..." Suddenly, the memory of Crowley's lips on his, the memory of his closeness and the way he had smelled rushed into the Angel's head. Aziraphale's physical and celestial body ached for this closeness. He knew absolutely that he didn't need for Crowley to be an angel. He knew that he loved him regardless. For thousands of years now, he never doubted that Crowley is someone who is deserving of unconditional love and acceptance.

Aziraphale focused his eyes on Crowley. "I'm glad you shared that with me. Perhaps you are right and I…I am being overly optimistic about what type of reception your return would garner in heaven. And…I am probably being too optimistic about what would be expected from YOU to secure your reinstatement. But…I want to make something perfectly clear. I NEVER thought that you needed to apologize for being who you are at your very core. I love…Your compassion and loyalty… Your curiosity and independence…Your kindness.. Your love for all of Creation." Now Aziraphale was looking at Crowley with that smitten look on his face, with a soft dreamy smile. As usual, the Angel was completely unaware that he was staring. "These qualities that are so natural to you...are so sorely lacking up there."

Crowley appeared to have mixed emotions about Aziraphale's compliments. He looked embarrassed, annoyed, and very slightly pleased. He looked at the floor and mumbled: "Well…still think you're naïve. Or grandiose. Heaven has not changed since the beginning of time. What makes you think THIS time will be any different..."

Aziraphale felt a twinge of irritation at Crowley's unshakable nihilism. "Forgive me for saying this, but...honestly Crowley, aren't you a bit naïve for thinking that we can make any real changes while hiding our heads in the sand here on Earth? Or...or on some other planet?" He paused. "Your proposition to um..." Aziraphale's throat felt very dry suddenly. "To go off...Together." The Angel's voice got quiet. Crowley froze in his spot. Aziraphale glanced at Crowley nervously and quickly looked away. "Its quite...well its quite tempting. It was tempting 4 years ago…and even more so now." Aziraphale was quiet for a moment lost in thought, as if weighing the offer again in his mind. Crowley swallowed.

Aziraphale continued. "But Crowley…no matter where we go, or where we hide…This peaceful existence we carved out for ourselves here on Earth, it won't last. Nothing ever does. Unless things change." Aziraphale glanced up towards the ceiling. "You know as well as I do that, sooner or later, they will try to implement another Apocalyptic event as they chase their obsession to have their war. You said it to me yourself 4 years ago- the Armageddon we thwarted wasn't the Big One. The Big One will be Earth against Heaven and Hell. And if I'm up there, keeping an eye on their plans…I think that would greatly improve Earth's chances of survival, don't you?" Crowley's insides jumped as he remembered what he saw during his little field trip to Heaven just a few hours ago. They ALREADY tried to set up another Armageddon. Aziraphale was right about that...

Now, Aziraphale was looking at Crowley with a desperate look on his face and his lip seemed to be trembling: "And I, for one, would have a really hard time enjoying...ehm...being…us, while being fully aware of the expiration date hanging over our heads!"

Crowley sighed and took off his glasses. He stared at the ground, then looked up at Aziraphale. The demon looked tired and defeated. After a few moments of silence, he offered a quiet and half hearted retort: "Well...it still coulda been nice...even with the expiration date. I mean...Shouldn't we just enjoy what we have while we have it? To live in the moment and suCH..." He trailed off because he knew what the answer will be.

Aziraphale walked over to Crowley and stood close to him. The Angel looked at his friend with an expression filled with sorrow and love. As usual, Aziraphale was admiring the demon's sharp features, his shining bright eyes, his perfect hair. He desperately wanted to reach out and touch Crowley, but he did not dare. "I truly don't think we can...Not anymore." Aziraphale took in an audible breath before continuing. "These last few years, after the Armageddon, have been...some of the best years of my life. And...continuing to do that, staying here…with you…would be so SO much easier, and astronomically more pleasant than leaving...without you. But I…I strongly believe there is a reason this opportunity is being presented to us now. Maybe even some sort of an...Ineffable…reason."

Crowley continued to look at Aziraphale with a pained look on his face. The angel felt like he was sealing his own fate, as he said the next sentence. His own voice sounded muffled and distant to him. "Crowley...this is something I feel completely and utterly compelled to do. Just as for you, the idea of coming back to heaven feels like going against everything YOU are at your core. For me - NOT taking this opportunity to Try. Try and fix things once and for all...it would be going against everything that I am at MY core. Can't you see that?" His face was filled with guilt, love, sadness, and fear.

By now, Crowley had admitted to himself that Aziraphale was right in some ways. At least in the fact that heaven and hell will never cease trying to act out their joint Armageddon fetish. They'll never stop trying to resolve their ancient grudges against one another. Not unless some kind of new vision, or new "plan" has been created and spoon fed to them. And who is better for the task of creating a more...*Earth -friendly* plan, than a being who has been a protector of humans from the very beginning, often at his own expense. Someone who loves Earth and everything it has to offer- people, music, food, books, dancing, little restaurants where they know you, parents who love their children, champagne, magic?! Someone who understands the beauty of creation, and sees an intrinsic value in its existence, as opposed to viewing it only as a means to An End.

Finally Crowley spoke: " 'M sorry I called you an idiot earlier…" He exhaled. "I still think it’s a suicide mission, and I still think you're delusional for taking this on. Yes I understand, It's who you are, etcetera and all that…But. It just…Ngk..." Crowley made a frustrated noise and ran his fingers through his hair while looking up. "It just really stings that…even after 6000 years, even after everything we've been through, your devotion to Heaven and Earth is still...You're still…" He swallowed. "You always choose them over me."

Hearing these words, Aziraphale's expression changed to that of disbelief with an undercurrent of low level horror. Something heavy dropped into his stomach, while something sharp broke into a million tiny pieces in his chest. What a cruel and tragic world...in which his best friend actually believes he is not important enough…

Aziraphale finally felt brave enough to touch Crowley, he needed to touch him. He reached out and took Crowley's hand into both of his. Crowley glanced down at their intertwined hands, and back up to the angel's face, trying (and failing) to control his emotions. Aziraphale looked intently and tenderly into the fallen angel's eyes and spoke: "My dear friend. Don't you see that the reason I care so deeply about these things is BECAUSE of you. You're the one who showed me that creation is precious and worth saving. You're the one who showed me that we must protect it from...Them. You're the one who taught me that we must allow it to unfold into whatever beautiful design it was meant to become." Now both of them had tears their eyes. "Crowley. All I want is...All I've ever so desperately wanted is to watch this Universe unfold through the ages, and through all of eternity. With YOU by my side." A tear rolled down Crowley's cheek, and Aziraphale reached up and gently wiped it with his thumb. Crowley said in a low raspy voice: "That's all I've ever wanted, Angel."

Two eternal beings stood frozen in time, in a bookshop, somewhere on Earth. Their eyes locked, hands touching, insides trembling.

At that moment, the door burst open and Metatron walked in. Aziraphale discreetly let go of Crowley's hand and turned to face Metatron. "It is time, Aziraphale." Metatron announced. "I'm ready," Aziraphale said, and forced a small polite smile on his face. "Excellent! Then let us away!" exclaimed Metatron and turned to leave. Aziraphale followed him. He turned back to take one last look at Crowley, who appeared smaller somehow, and was looking rather shellshocked. Their eyes met and Aziraphale bathed in their golden yellow light for one last moment. Then he followed Metatron out of the bookshop.

As the door shut behind them, the sound of it shook Crowley out of his trance. He walked over to a chair and collapsed into it. He slowly put on his sunglasses and wiped his cheek with his hand. The demon wondered for the hundredth time if he was being unreasonable for rejecting Aziraphale's offer; for letting him go off on his own into that nest of toxicity. Bloody Angel…How is he supposed to protect him now?

Aziraphale walked into the elevator to Heaven. As he watched the doors shut, he felt an unbearable force clenching down on his heart. He thought about what (and who) he was leaving behind. He wondered for the hundredth time whether his decision would turn out to be a horrible and irreversible mistake.

[didderd]

Whats your sona and baggs' dynamic like?

(sorry it took so long. tbh i had this written out a while ago but forgot/didn't get around to posting it.) ERM. so. i kinda got carried away n wrote them a whole backstory instead. this does answer ur question. but yeah. one thought lead to another n this happened.

(referring to my sona as Alex here, bc that's what it goes by for the most part. also using a situation where it was recruited by Nightmare in R&R (by @/wishing-stones))

For a time, Alex was afraid of him. They first met with Alex in a cell, and Baggs on the other side of the bars getting a look at the new recruit Nightmare brought in, that apparently was a shapeshifter. Which very much piqued his interest. He hadn't been able to learn much about them, due to the information being hard to find, so the opportunity to study one was very tempting to him.

Dust, when leaving to go back upstairs, had made an ominous remark about "the doctor" visiting, and after hearing that, the visit went just about how Alex expected. Baggs wasn't subtle about wanting to study them. His grin never faltered, and eyelights never left them, less to write something down.

He asked a lot of questions, and Alex answered the simple ones, but refused to answer anything further, or act out any of his requests. With their first refusal to do something, Baggs' grin stretched wider, and he gave them a long, intense stare. They'd only learned later what that stare was contemplating.

Alex isn't one to trust easily, being a Fell monster, but eventually his captures made it very clear that he wasn't brought here with intent to harm. Only to recruit him. Which he still wasn't happy about at the time, but he didn't have much choice.

Once he'd realized this, and it was obvious he wasn't going to fight it, he was let out of his cell and given a room.

By then, it had started to feel more comfortable around everyone, even Baggs, tho it warmed up to him a lot slower than the others.

The more comfort they felt tho, the more they started to feel their fear of him mix confusingly with attraction. He's a dangerous man, with a ridiculously attractive face, and voice. The way he looks at them at first just unsettled them, but at this point had started to fluster them. Where before, they would try to keep eye contact to not miss any signs of a threat, and not show weakness, they had stopped being able to look him in the eyelights for more than a short moment.

For a short time, Baggs had thought they took a step back, seeing how Alex avoided him more, and was slightly colder with him, but it didn't take long for him to catch on to the magic that would seep into their face. The realization that "oh. so they're just a tsundere" was an amusing development to say the least.

The moment he'd recognized this minor oversite, he opted to have fun with it, and promptly made it much worse.

He's careful to not overwhelm them too much, but he has fun messing with them. Their reactions are very cute, and he does find their glowing freckles and blush quite beautiful. He ofc still wants to study them in depth, but he won't push their boundaries. He does get to observe their training, and as they grow to trust him more, they do end up letting him study them to some extent.

Alex has grown a lot more comfortable with him. Even doesn't mind his magic, and enjoys it at times. As long as he doesn't cross its specific boundaries about it. Which he doesn't. He helps it a lot with its anxiety and episodes, and it's started seeing him for proper therapy sessions. He's still intimidating, but... in a good way.

[greatbritishsimchallenge]

"Father, may we talk?"

Cassian didn't respond but took a seat at his desk and looked up at Henry expectantly. Cassian could feel his son's discomfort and immediately tell what was coming.

"I believe Edith and I have found you a good match for marriage. Her name is Lady Catherine. She is incredibly wealthy - the sole heir to the Newcrest estate - she still has sufficient child-bearing years, and she is said to be very beautiful."

Cassian frowned, "If she's so perfect then why the fuck would she marry me?"

Henry cleared his throat, "Like you, she has a... complicated... past. Unlike you, her past was revealed and she has been summarily shunned from polite society."

"What did she do?" Cassian enquired, intrigued.

Henry immediately became flustered, "I'm not sure that matters. She has since undergone a great transformation - Edith and I know her from our circles at church. She is now a respectable, God-fearing woman..."

"And yet you say no one else will marry her because of her reputation. If I'm going to be the one to give her chance, I should at least know what I'm giving a chance to."

Henry sighed, "Did you ever hear the nickname.... the Princess of Newcrest?"

Cassian frowned as he thought back, "I think I remember hearing about her around the time I was married to Regina... didn't she have an affair with the King, Queen and their adult children simultaneously?"

Henry cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Umm... something like that. Anyway, it is quite unjust that most in society fail to recognise how she has changed and learned. She is most worthy of a second chance."

"And I'm willing to give it, am I?" asked Cassian grumpily.

"Yes - you are," Henry replied firmly. "For you have done far, far worse. Indeed, if I may say father, she believes she is being given the second chance when we both know that it is you who is the fortunate one here."

Cassian said nothing but tightened his lips.

"There are also some... caveats... to the marriage to which you must agree before she too will agree to marriage," continued Henry.

"Very well. What are they?"

"First, she feels that, as the sole heir of the Newcrest estate, she must remain in her titled homelands. Upon marriage, you would move to Newcrest."

"You want me to leave the place I've called home for most of my life?" asked Cassian, a low tone of anger clear in his voice.

"The second," continued Henry, raising his voice a little as if to speak up over his father. "Has regards to faithfulness, a very important quality to Lady Catherine. She would require that... you wear a chastity belt."

"You fucking what?"

"To which she would hold the sole key... to ensure your loyalty and faithfulness solely to her. In return, she too would wear a chastity belt to which you would hold the sole key."

Cassian said nothing, but Henry could feel his father's anger building.

"Third, she would like a legal agreement drawn up that would specify some key behaviours of the marriage, such as how much time you are required to spend together, and the frequency of relations required in order to produce an heir. I have read all the stipulations myself and had them checked by our lawyers, and it all seems very conventional. She simply wishes to ensure the marriage is destined for success."

"And will I get to read these stipulations?"

"Of course. You are required to sign your agreement."

Cassian stood up and went to pour himself a drink.

"Father, this marriage will do a great deal to restore our family's financial status; as the sole heir to the Newcrest estate, she is one of the wealthiest women in all England. Finding someone willing to even consider marrying you has not been easy and, while this may be a very different relationship to the type you are used to, I do also believe it will be good for you."

Cassian downed his drink and poured himself another.

"In all her requirements - is meeting me one of them?" he asked.

"Oh, erm..." Henry was surprised by Cassian's question and took a moment to reflect back over his meetings with Lady Catherine. "No, actually. That didn't come up. I suppose she must have been satisfied with the information we provided. But I can suggest it, if you'd like?"

"No. I think I'd rather meet this one at the aisle, when it is too late for me to walk away," Cassian poured himself another drink then added, "I have one request of my own, before I go ahead with all of this."

"Yes, father?"

"I want to see Isabeau. I want her brought here, to Brindleton."

"Father, Aunt Isabeau has her own very busy life in Champ les Sims and -"

Cassian turned to shoot his son a warning look.

"As you wish," Henry replied, immediately backing down. "I will write to Aunt Isabeau immediately."

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