#which i had to cut short to buy something for bro-law

[erigold13261]

So little desire to create. Only want to consume. But nothing to consume. So creating in head. But head does not want to share. So consuming thoughts alone.

[alaffy]

Riverdale, Ep.7x16

With only five episodes left, what fresh hell have they brought this week? Well, there's about four stories going on. One that was stupid, two that were...there but (reading some of the synopsis for some of the episodes) probably are going somewhere, and the last story...actually wasn't completely horrible.

So, the episode starts with Jason Blossom getting a stag film. Long story short, Veronica is going to host the film at her theater and invites Betty along so she isn't the only female there. However, as the film starts, Betty realizes the woman in the film is Polly and she ends up stopping the film.

And from there I'm going to break down the rest of the stories individually. Reggie and Archie keep buying stag films from Jason, but the first one turns out to be two men and the second one breaks. Archie comes to the realization that Kevin *might be* gay (sigh).  Archie and Reggie end up having a threesome with Twila Twist. And I don't care if they are actually in their twenties or this is the 1950s, that is an adult woman having sex with two sixteen year old boys. Archie and Reggie contemplate the sun rising and tell each other that that love each other. And I would say that they probably mean that in a more bro way then sexual, except as everyone is getting with everyone...

Meanwhile, Jughead is fighting the Comics Code. The history of the Comics Code is very real, very scary, and something people should probably brush up on considering some of the proposals law makers are making RIGHT NOW. Except, in this universe, the Code is created by four people in Riverdale and all of America just decided, fuck it, I guess. Anyway, Jughead looses his battle against the Fearsome Four. However, as he's telling Veronica his plight (he had asked for her advice earlier in the episode) at her apartment, well, it seems like their romance (or teenage hormones) might be rekindling. Are we about to have a triangle with Betty and Jughead fighting for Veronica, or did the show forget the whole Betty/Veronica universe kiss? I'm guessing option two.

Cheryl and Toni decide to take pictures based on some they saw in an underground Lesbian magazine. Of course, they're risque. And, even though they've been trying to lay low for two episodes...well, we only have five episodes left so, of course, Cheryl would decide to take one of the photos and create a very detailed painting from it. and leave it in her bedroom. Where her mother can just see it. And, of course, Penelope sees it and destroys it. So Cheryl wants to put her family in their place once and for all. Toni, earlier in the episode, mentioned the magazine takes photos and Cheryl wants the negatives, so I can guess where this is going.

Finally, going back to Betty. Betty contacts Polly and finds out her sister is a Burlesque performer and, according to Veronica, it seems that she is one of the most popular ones out there. She's basically Gypsy Rose Lee. Alice and Hal know about Polly's career and have cut her off. But, guess what? Polly, not being in that toxic hellhole, is thriving! She's happy, she's getting married, she's living her best life. And she convinces Betty that Betty can do the same. And finally we have the moment I have been waiting seven years for. Betty finally tells Alice that Alice is the reason why the family is falling apart (which kind of is a call back to the first season where Betty feels the responsibility to keep her family from falling apart), that Alice is a miserable person, that Betty is no longer going to let Alice control her life, and once she graduates high school, Betty is getting the hell away from Alice. Please, please writers, do not walk this back. Do one right thing before this show ends.

[jockbender]

Encounter with Akbar

When I found the old brass lamp as I was helping dad clear out Aunt Jane’s house, I couldn’t help rubbing it.

Before she died, I’d never met her and even though dad had said she was ‘kooky’ I’d never really taken him seriously until I started to help clear away the weird occult junk that filled her house.

Obviously, I didn’t expect anything to happen when I rubbed my thumb on the side of the tarnished old lamp but when a cloud of purple mist streamed out of the nozzle and condensed into this built Arab guy in silk pyjamas, I realised I’d hit the jackpot and found a bonafide genie.  

Introducing himself as Akbar, the genie of the lamp, he proudly announced that with the three wishes he would grant me as his new master, I could turn my dead end life around and live my dreams of being one of the successful, popular guys at college.

Naturally my first wish was to be the richest guy on campus.  Our family wasn’t exactly poor but money was always a bit tight and I longed to have the freedom those rich kids enjoyed to buy what they wanted, go on vacations abroad and generally live it up.  Sure enough, the second I’d told Akbar what I wanted, there was a flash of light and I saw in the mirror on the sideboard that I now had a slick new hairstyle with subtle highlights and was dressed head to toe in designer threads.  A quick look in the expensive leather wallet that’d replaced the ratty canvas one in my back pocket revealed it was a stuffed with cash and platinum credit cards but strangely, it all felt kind of natural as if things had always been that way.

I didn’t waste any time in asking Akbar for my second wish: to be the most popular guy on campus.  As soon as I said the words, he smiled, winked and with a blinding flash, I found myself changed yet again.

This time, something felt a bit off though. My thoughts felt sluggish and for a moment, I found myself checking out Akbar like he was a chick or something.  I mean, he had awesome muscles and it looked like he was packing a big schlong too but I’d never had thoughts like that about a bro before.  As I tried to clear my head, I realised that, my clothes had changed again and I wasn’t dressed in my usual preppy polo and chinos anymore.  Instead, I was wearing a black stringer tank and ball shorts which I guess kind of made sense as I was totally stacked with muscle just like the dudes at the gym who do nothing all day but lift, down protein shakes and juice themselves with roids.

Adjusting my cap in the mirror so the bill pointed back like I usually wore it, I couldn’t help checking out my thick, heavy guns and swole forearms as the muscles flexed under my tight skin.  I began to throw a boner in my ball shorts as I checked myself out and even though Akbar was still hovering there, I was thinking about stroking one out to my reflection when dad suddenly walked in on us.

Weirdly, he didn’t pay any attention to Akbar as he continued with his usual bitching about how I was a slacker and wouldn’t ever be smart enough to join his law firm when I left college.  I never got what made him think I’d be interested in working with those stiffs, after all, it wasn’t like I needed the money and the guys who worked there were a bunch of uptight losers.

As dad carried on yammering about cutting out the all night keggers and studying harder, I finally flipped and without really thinking it through, wished that he’d quit bitching and accept me and my lifestyle.  As soon as I finished speaking, Akbar clapped his hands,  laughing out loud as another flash of light filled the room but this time, when the flash faded, Akbar and the lamp had disappeared and it was just me and pops in the room.  Well, someone who looked kinda like pops...

Instead of the stuffy, overbearing lawyer who’d even wear a dress shirt and slacks at the weekend, pops had turned into a swole as fuck bodybuilder, dressed up like a total muscle-bro in ball shorts and a Miami heat jersey.  He even had a ball cap on backwards just like I like to wear mine.

He didn’t seem to notice anything was different, but when he started talking excitedly about finishing up and heading to the gym for leg day, I realised it was more than just his appearance that’d changed.  He sounded like a total bro, all cocky and overconfident – more like one of my buds from the frat than a fifty year old lawyer.

As we finished packing, it was kinda weird to see pops acting like one of the bros but once we got to talking about lifting and his next competition, it was easy conversation like I have with the guys back the frat.  After a few minutes shooting the breeze, I couldn’t remember why I’d ever thought pops and me didn’t get on, especially when it was him that got me into lifting.

As we took a breather before locking up, I caught myself checking pops out, especially the bulge of his massive baby maker outlined in his shorts.  He must have noticed because he grinned, dropped the shorts, pulled his dong out from the sweaty jock he was wearing and waved it at me with a wink.  For a second, something seemed weird about him showing me his junk but then I remembered how bros help bros out and before I knew it, I was on my knees taking the full length of his pole down my throat as he face fucked me and told me how proud he was.

When he finally busted his nut over my face, I eagerly licked the cum from my lips and reminded myself again how lucky I was to have a loaded, successful bodybuilder for a dad.

Even if it was possible, I couldn’t have wished for a better life!

[nealcassatiel]

Supernatural and Russia and the mess of Television Legal Contracts

One of the most important aspects of a television series’ life cycle is its distribution. It is in the stage of distribution when the production companies/studio recoup the largest amount of costs.

By looking at who distributes the show, as well as which companies stand to gain the most from distribution profits, we can gain greater understanding of the various complex agreements and finances at play.

Viewing Statistics in the USA, Russia, and other International Territories

Let’s take a look at where Supernatural is distributed, and it’s popularity in the countries in which it airs. 

After the US, in the past 30 days, Supernatural’s next biggest market is in Russia. The next is in Brazil. 

This got long - more under the cut (I’ll be talking about cuts shortly)

In Russia, Supernatural has been in the top 0.2% watched shows in Russia (link) . This is also the case in Brazil. 

In 2019, a modest survey was done on urban and rural Russians asking them what foreign television they watch. Supernatural was the 6th most mentioned foreign television show (link).

In 2017, Supernatural was three times more popular in Russia than it was in the US (link - this article has just a whole other host of information about it being popular amongst urban and rural US residents, as well as popular amongst both Republics and Democrats, however i haven’t looked further into that data so not going to discuss it much here)

So selling Supernatural to Russia and airing it in Russia is going to bring in a lot of revenue for The C*W and the production companies. That is a lucrative distribution territory and of a huge amount of importance to the network. Russia will air both new episodes, and reruns. Of course, if Supernatural made a queer love story a central premise, then execs are going to get scared that not only will the finale may not be aired in one of their biggest, if not their biggest market: Russia, but that the broadcasters who distribute the show in Russia might also pull the rest of the show and stop broadcasting reruns too. That’s a shit tonne fo distribution profits gone for The C*W, and who knows, maybe their relationship with Russian broadcasters who air their other shows will be on the rocks. After all, trying to sell gay tv to Russians right now is, sadly, never going to happen. This is not an indictment on the Russian viewers, but me saying that the show won’t be sellable to Russian broadcasters if it is too queer.

A huge huge majority of US Supernatural fans are progressive and wanted the more queer focused and found family ending. But the C*W and Warner believes that there are still enough US fans who don’t want something that progressive to be shown. They also know that one of their biggest markets is Russia, and Dean being shown to be bi will not go down well there. I’m just speculating, but The C*W may have looked at those chunks of audience who give them money and decide that they only care about those profits. 

The frustrating thing however, is that no matter the power of Russian Supernatural audiences, looking at the other progressive countries and the popularity of Supernatural there - these numbers as a collective outshine those of Russia. So maybe Russia isn’t that important. Or maybe all The C*W needed to think was ‘we don’t want to stop profits from our biggest international viewership’ and so they never even went further and thought about the collective viewership of the audiences from progressive countries. As I said at the start, distribution is where the companies who invested into making a show recoup the most costs. All the money that comes from distribution is incredibly important.

DISTRIBUTION AND CO-PRODUCTION AGREEMENTS

The writers, the crew, the actors, don’t really get the distribution profits. They may get small cuts of things or bonuses here and there, but they’re all essentially employed by the production company. It is the production company and studio who has sunken money into making the show who will get a cut of the distribution profits. So the production companies and co-production companies, the creator (maybe still if they had a good agent when they first sold the pitch), the network are all going to be the ones to care about how much a finale will matter to profits from showing reruns in less progressive countries. Dabb is an employee - he personally will be paid a fixed sum which is given to him by the production company. He does not care if SPN can’t be aired in Russia - that has no personal affect on him. He was paid to showrun the series and he’ll get nothing more even if it becomes the most watched anti-gay homophobic celebrated show in Moscow. He has no financial reason to cater to anyone. He’s just an employee. 

But if information like this, the knowledge that for multiple years TPTB have wanted Supernatural to cater to a non-progressive international and national audience for the sake of distribution profits, then the show should have never have taken the narrative to a place whose ending could not be green-lit.

If for the sake of these pofits and other secondary rights, for the sake of appeasing rural/southern USA viewers, and trying to keep an audience for Walker, The C*W derailed the final two episodes, then I still don’t fully understand why the ending was heading towards destiel when all of this distribution finance information has been known for many many years. 

It makes sense why such a terrible finale would happen, but it doesn’t make sense why up until episode 18, the entire narrative of the show was leading somewhere completely different? Why were the writers of SPN heading straight towards one thing, if they knew they always knew that they’d have to have a completely different ending? 

The Right of Final Cut / Final Cut Privilege

The answer may lie in the fact that The C*W wasn’t really paying that much attention to SPN, they couldn’t really see all the subtext, but suddenly the subtext all was going to become text and they were all twiddling their thumbs and looking for something to do during COVID when the industry shut down, so they suddenly got way more involved. 

Let’s quickly clear up who The C*W is and how they relate to SPN as a company. Supernatural lists The C*W as one of it’s distributers, but lists Warner Bros Television as a production company. When SPN started it was made by The WB (which is now The C*W). It’s all under Warner Media anyway, but we can basically say that Warner Bros Television (listed as a co-producer of SPN) is the sam as The C*W who is listed as a distributer of SPN. They’re essentially the same so The C*W is both producing and distributing SPN, as well as owning the format rights to the show - sorry that’s all complicated anyway The C*W are the big dogs who own Supernatural and have done from the beginning back when they were called The WB)

Essentially, The C*W have a co-production and distribution agreement for SPN. The power they have from that first agreement when they bought the show off Kripke is almost certainly still MASSIVE today. They are not only the ultimate distributers, but the ultimate producers with all the agreements and all the rights. 

Anyway, back to that first agreement: This was Kripke’s first big deal, and he almost certainly gave Warner Bros/The C*W a whole host of creative control in exchange for them sinking a shit tonne of money into making the show. Which makes me wonder if The C*W has something in entertainment law called “the right of final cut/final cut privilege”. If a studio or distributer has sunken a heck tonne of costs into making the series and are the ones who most need to recoup the distribution costs, then in their contract they may try to give themselves the ‘final cut privilege’ - essentially, this is the final edit. There’s the Director’s Cut, but then after that there is the Final Cut. The Final Cut is what is broadcast. Nowadays, most series and films don’t allow the directors to have final cut privilege anyway - it’s fairly rare from my understanding (one of my hats is a television legal contracts assistant, and all of these contracts still confuse me even though it’s an element of my job - I’m not trained in this outside of work so i apologise if this isn’t clear). The studio or distributer doesn’t even need to clear their final cut with the writer/director/producer. They can just do it. Cut it up and broadcast it, because they’re allowed to in their contract.

So with the finale episode being so short, a mess of montages, Carry on My Wayward Son versions back to back, a narrative mess, the pacing completely off, some scenes way too short and others way too long - this really could insinuate that the stupid clause of ‘the right of final cut’ was utilised by The C*W and without the need to get the permission or allowance of Dabb or even the other production companies, they edited everything they didn’t like out of the finale, citing their contract and the fact that they’re the ones who need to recoup distribution costs, and they don’t want to piss off large swathes of their national and international audience.

In Conclusion

So positives? Well, now that SPN is done and dusted, if there is a spin-off then this shouldn't affect distribution deals in Russia or Brazil. If whoever buys the format rights for Supernatural, allows The C*W to still sell the old series distribution rights, then market the new season of SPN not as a new season but a spin-off, then this will give them more freedom to not cater to the conservative international and national audiences SPN was beholden to due to distribution profits. What I’m saying is - a spin-off could free itself from catering to anyone who isn’t progressive. The old audiences can carry on showing reruns of SPN and completely ignore the new ‘fake’ gay spin-off. They can say that it’s a different production company, a different network - and therefore not the legitimate show. Great. Free SPN. 

A new format agreement could also mean that the new producers could ensure that not the distributer, but the director, or the new trusted production company themselves gets the Right of Final Cut. If another agreement is made, please please please take that right away from The C*W/Warner. 

The difficulty in getting the SPN rights would be caused by the mess of a Format Agreement to even get those rights... Supernatural is co-produced by Kripke Enterprises, Warner Bros. Television, Supernatural Films, and Wonderland Sound and Vision. I’m assuming Kripke Enterprises and Supernatural Films may be under Warner Media (as Warner Bros and The C*W itself is). If Jensen wanted to produce the new spin-off then his new production company is under WB/Warner Media too... so. Disentangling meddling and shitty Warner Media execs from a spin-off would be difficult because they own everyone. 

All in all, it’s easy to see now with that mess of a finale that this was caused with whoever has “The Right Of Final Cut/Final Cut Privilege’. And I HIGHLY doubt Singer or Dabb or any mere employee on the show has it. It’s more and more obvious to me that this power lies in the hands of The C*W/Warner and they didn’t even try to loop Dabb or the main cast in when making the final edits. I’m sure the C*W started to get involved at episode 19 and in the development stage of episode 20, but i’m certain they had a hand in the disastrous final cut. 

I hope we’re able to pry our beloved show out of the hands of those who don’t care about its narratives, but have more power than anyone to change the show’s narratives. Thanks for coming with me on this essay/me working out this complicated mess. It’s 00:50 and I'm super tired so I hope all this makes sense. Television contracts confuse me and I work with them so i dunno how clear any of this is. 

Anyway - I hope it was totally boring.  

[angelisverba]

no need to be sorry

in which y/n realizes she loves Jason, and he can’t touch himself to the thought of her because it makes him feel guilty

word count: 12.8k

pairing: y/n and her brother’s best friend, jason

warning: strong mentions of sexual trauma and abuse. please read at your own caution if you are not comfortable with that .

author’s note: originally this was supposed to be a super long piece (and the last one) but i wanted to put something else to make the last part even longer :) THIS IS NOT EDITED, sorry not sorry hehe

March is a very confusing month. 

For y/n, it meant SAT cramming and intensive camps for the retake in may. A maxed out speed on her brain as to keep up her grades (and even improve them because God knows her math grade needs urgent care) and constantly keep her nose in her books because finals were approaching soon. 

For Jason, and the entire senior class for that matter, it meant renting out tuxedos and making appointments at the beauty salon in preparation for prom, buying tickets for prom, finding a prom date, asking out said date in a cutesy way that was memorable for both parties.

It meant asking y/n to be his prom date, but not drag her away from her studies because that just wouldn’t be fair.

Hell, Jason still hadn’t taken his girl out on a second date because she was such a busy bee, and had to settle for ‘study dates’. Really it was just him watching her chew on her bottom lip as she transferred notes from her chemistry textbook to her notebook, his own work splayed out in front of him, meaning to be completed but his attention diverted elsewhere. She’d glance up with burning cheeks to tell him that his glasses were sliding down his nose, and Jason— quite nearly in a hypnotic daze— would smile dopily at her and say ‘you’re so pretty’. She would shush him and tell him to get to work, or sometime ask for his help, and Jason would use that as an excuse to wrap his arm around her waist telling her ‘gotta whisper love, come close’ and proceed to explain how the law of gas, ideal gas, and Dalton’s Law of partial pressure differentiated from each other. 

He didn’t mind this. Any time he got with her he treasured, but god did he want to keep her tucked at his side at all times to show him off. It was selfish of him to be jealous that she wasn’t spending time with him when all she wanted to do was study for her future; for college. Selfish because Jason already had everything worked out. He’d gotten a scholarship to his dream school via football and his good-ish grades. Dorming and transportation was all set-up; he was 100% ready to go. 

But y/n? She’d confessed to Jason that she had no idea what she was doing with her life. That she was studying and doing all these things to look good for her college application, but her biggest fear was that they still wouldn’t accept her and she’d wind up going to community college. There were times where her bouncing leg would violently shake their table in the library so much, Jason would drag her out of the chair and take her on a short walk around the library (if her eyes were teary he’d sneak her into a corner and peck at her eyelids softly until she giggled). An effective strategy that resulted in a noticeable tent at his crotch, and a dreamy-eyed y/n that peeked up at him through her lashes with heated cheeks. 

He’d say, “Are you relaxed now? Or should we go home?” 

Home was his house. Y/n had her home, and Jason had his- respectively- but he referred to his place as ‘home’ and she never bothered to correct him.  More often than not (once it got to this point) y/n would nod and they’d head over to his place. 

And, well, who was she to pass up that opportunity? 

Y/n enjoyed reading her dog-eared SAT book on Jason’s bed and falling asleep on her crossed arms. Only because she would wake up an hour or so later, glued next to his side, with him also napping, lips puffy and hair extra fluffy. His hair, how a complete chocolate brown color, closely cropped since he’d cut off all the blond, fanned on the pillow and curled around the frames of his tortoise-shell glasses that he never remembered to take off. 

She’d always take them off for him, and the movement would startle him awake, his green eyes fluttering awake, eyebrows furrowed in a confusion that disappeared when he realized that it was just her. His sweet y/n with sleepy eyes who took his glasses off ever so gently, and reached over him to place them on his bedside.

They were wrapped up in their own little personal heaven when they were together, alone, and it was only disrupted when it was time for Jason to take y/n home. Grabby hands and kissy faces consumed them when she received a questioning text from her parents or brother, and the whole ‘do you really have to go’ ordeal took its course. And maybe- just maybe- Jason enjoyed the goodbyes because y/n always put extra effort into her goodbye kiss, leaning and pressing up against his mouth so their noses were squished against each other, her hand at the collar of his shirt to pull him even closer, communicating to him how much… how much she would miss him. 

She knew that Jason understood, and when they broke apart with a wet suction noise, and her eyes fluttered open to meet his, Jason knew that she knew that he knew what she was trying to say. It was a slight moment of vulnerability on her part, because it was the closest they’d get to admitting/discussing the sexual parts of their relationship. Or rather, the lack of.

But never mind that, it didn’t matter to any of them. They could be intimate without having sex. 

Right?

*                                                      *                                  *

Jason was confused. 

As silly as it was, prom was a big deal. It signified the closing of an era in a teenager’s life; the end of high school. A party to honor their struggles and begin a transition to a period of more struggles. 

Traditionally, you attend a dance with a date. A girlfriend, a crush, a last resort. One could go with friends but, Jason has a girlfriend now and he’d be damned if he didn’t take his pretty girl and show off that he was the one that got her in the end.  

The only issue was: the prom-posal.

He knew that y/n and him didn’t hang in the same crowd, and while they were both mellow, y/n held a little more reserve to public announcements.

She was shy. 

Needless to say, Jason had a very big quest on his shoulders; to find a way to ask y/n out to prom in a way that was memorable and attune to her likings. He thinks he doesn’t think he'd be able to get over it if he messed this up. 

“Jason? Bro are you even listening?” Andrew asked from across the lunch table. Kent stuffed french fries into his mouth, and glanced from both his friends. 

“Sorry, man. What was that?” Jason presses the lock button on his phone, and places it down on the table. 

“I was talking about the rager at Greg’s, is everything alright? You’ve been distant for a few days now, not having issues with y/n are you?” Andrew’s facial features darkened slightly, the deep concerns for his sister shining through his demeanor. Kent picked on the change of atmosphere, and his chewing stops. 

Jason sighed, his shoulders slanting downwards and the fabric of his letter-man jacket coming to a close at his chest. His heart-shaped lips come to a pensive pucker, debating if he should tell his best friend what was on his mind. 

At the troubled look on his face, Kent smiles encouragingly, and says, “You know you can tell us anything, J.” Andrew turns to look at his Kent while he’s speaking, and when he turns back to Jason, he nods, a knowing glimmer in his eyes. 

“What’s up?” His girlfriend’s brother leans forward, prepared to listen.

“I don’t know how to ask y/n to go to prom with me.” 

Andrew and Kent’s facial expression drop to a deadpan, and Jason’s eyebrows furrow in response, confused at their reaction. 

“What?” He looked back and forth between his two unimpressed friends, who suddenly burst into laughter; snickering and pointing fingers at him through wheezed words. 

“You’re fucking whipped,” Kent said, slapping a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and doubling forward.

“My sister,” their laughter calms down momentarily, “has you this upset?” And at his comment, the boys start laughing again, loud enough that it drags the attention of nearby tables. 

“Guys,” the corner of Jason’s lips struggle to stay down. “It’s not funny.” 

“Yeah, it is. Your panties are in a twist because of y/n,” Kent said, “Where is she?” He stands up from the bench and glances around the cafeteria, looking for her. 

Jason’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops, amazed at his friend’s response. “Dicks,” he mutters. “She’s with her English teacher, preparing for an exam.” 

Andrew’s chuckles die down again, and he shakes his head while rubbing his fingers on his forehead, grinning. “Deadass?”

“Yes!” Jason juts his head forward, nodding wildly. “Help me!”

Kent sits again, and places his chin on his palm. “Just go with what she likes, man.”

“Gee, thanks so much.” The stressed boy looks away, defeated.

Perhaps, it was a mistake bringing it up. Instead of receiving help, they were taking the piss out of him. He thought that maybe, because Andrew was related to the girl he was dating, he’d be a bit of hel-

“She keeps bugging me to take her to the aquarium.” 

Jason whips his head around to look at his friend, crossing his arms on the table and leaning with interest. 

“The aquarium?” He asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, they remodeled a few exhibits and she’s been wanting to see them. Sent me a text about it a few days ago,” Andrew reached back to pull out his phone from his back pocket, unlocking it and pulling up a thread of texts from his sister. “Look.” 

The boy takes the phone from his friend’s hand. Y/n had sent her brother a link to the aquarium’s announcement of a reopening that occurred a few weeks before, along with ‘pleeease can we go? pleeease?’ and a puppy-eyed emoji. Andrew had only sent a curt ‘we’ll see’ to which the girl responded with screenshots of seals and penguins. 

A pang hit him straight in the heart, and he was saddened that she hadn’t asked him, given that he had refrained from taking her out in fear of distracting her from her studies. Yet, here she was asking to be taken to the aquarium, and Andrew showed no interest.  

“Take her. Ask her there. The only reason why I haven’t taken her is because she’ll ask for something from the gift shop and they’re expensive as fuck.” Andrew shrugged.

Bingo. 

With a composed look, he clicked off the phone and slid it back. On the inside, he was hopping up and down, pumping his arms with joy because everything had clicked, and he knew exactly what to do.

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n still felt butterflies every time Jason looked at her.

Every girl wanted to be looked at by someone the way he looked at her.

A soft, dreamy daze that took over his face, eyes shining with an enamored gleam. Lashes fluttering adoringly, and lips coming together in a smirk, like he held all kinds of secrets and wanted to share them with her. His look alone said it all. I want you and only you.

It was overwhelmingly passionate. So intimate; an open admission with no shame. 

“You’re not even paying attention to me,” she whined, flopping over onto her back and throwing an arm over her head. 

They were- as usual- laying on Jason’s bed, with one of y/n’s textbooks spread open in front of them. 

“Can’t help myself,” he pushed up his glasses and raked his hair back. “You’re so pretty it’s distracting.” 

At that, y/n turned herself over so she laid next to Jason again, but her face was still nestled in the crook of her arm where her cheeks flamed. “Stop it,” she said, words muffled. 

“I’m serious.” She felt his weight dip on the bed, his hand coming to brush away hair that blocked the side of her face, and then puffs of air on her arm. Tilting her head so her eye peeked out, she saw that Jason’s mouth was hovering millimeters away from her skin, and when her eyes glanced up, an intense emerald gaze fixed on hers. “Like an angel, you are.”

Fire, heat, tingles littered the areas where his lips pressed against a trail into his skin. A blossoming feeling of affection imprinted onto her arm, and up to her cheek, where his lips lingered right underneath her lashes.

It became too much for her to handle, her heart and mind becoming muddled and confused through the overwhelming sensations that traveled throughout her nerves. Her cognitive senses seemed to refuse to acknowledge the difference between welcomed attention and… unwanted but forced attention. And, in efforts to prevent a hysteric scene or breakdown, she sprung up from her position, pressing a quick kiss into Jason’s cheek so he wouldn’t suspect anything, and sitting so she was almost completely off the bed. 

Jason watched her with… rejection. But, she wouldn’t know that because she refused to meet his eyes. Instead she said, “Have you got marshmallows in the cupboard?” 

“Uhh,” Jason cleared his throat, standing up and heading out of his room. “Yeah, I think so.”

She followed after him, shoulders hunched; ashamed. Mentally, she was pushing away repressed trauma from what seemed like yesterday. A haunting memory that refused to leave like paranoia. 

“Tiny ones or…?” He heads straight for the silver door knob next to the fridge, stepping in to squat at the lower shelves. Y/n stands in the doorway, hands awkwardly at her sides. 

“The big ones, please.” She doesn’t look up when he extends his hand to give her the fluffy white bag, and he doesn’t ask what's wrong.

Silently, y/n walks over to the kitchen island to pluck a skewer out of the drawer, and pops her hip to shut it. Jason lifts himself to sit on the countertop, his white shirt lifting to expose the pale sliver of skin that escaped from his grey sweatpants. Out the corner of her eye, she could see the enticing movement, and it caused her hands to shake, but she hid it in the twisting wrist movement of turning on the stove. 

A tearing noise comes from behind her, blending in with the clicking noises of the stove turning on. Jumping at the startling disruption, she turns to see Jason with an Oreo midway to his mouth. He gives her an open lipped smile, eyes wide as if shocked, and it makes her burst into a chuckle. 

“Can I get one?” She asked.

Wordlessly, he passed her a cookie. She took it, and it seemed that he purposely grazed his fingers over her palm. 

Y/n yanked her hand away like he’d burned her. 

Alarmed, Jason hops off the counter and moves to stand next to her.

“Y/n, is everything al-”

“Do you want a marshmallow?” She interrupted him, her breaths tense. 

“Uh, no.” He said, his head slightly shaking in disbelief at her actions. Had he done something wrong?

The girl stabbed the skewer through the white candy, and twirled it over the flames, the edges quickly turning a golden color. 

“Baby, what’s wr-” 

It catches fire, and her lips blow them off before it turns completely black, the fuh noise that escapes overpowering Jason’s gentle words. She was scared of breaking in front of him. She was scared to show him how much she was holding in.

“Can you hold this?” Voice small and squeaky.

He took the skewer out of her hands, holding it while she opened the oreo cookie. Knowing what she was gonna do, he gingerly placed the melted marshmallow on top of the frosting covered cookie, and pulled away when she sandwiched the top cookie on top.

Y/n takes a bite out of the treat, and relishes in the slightly burnt, woodsy taste of the white taffy and how it melts on her tongue and slides with ease down her throat. So much so, that a small noise of appreciation comes from the depths of her chest.

“S’good?” Jason asked, a breathy-uneasy- laugh whooshing through his nose.

She’s nodding before she looks up at him, and her head stills when she locks eyes with him. 

It’s the same, intense, focused look from before.

The one that promised so much. And it just- god she was so confused. 

So confused that she leaned forward to kiss him, disregarding the fact that- in that moment- she didn’t want affection. She needed a bit of distance and time to process her emotions.

 And instead of doing so, she lunged and connected herself to him in a smoldering embrace of their mouths. A sudden flood of inexplicable physical impressions, claiming, pleading.

Jason didn’t hesitate to respond, his hands appearing to cup at her cheeks, thumbs gingerly rubbing on the apples of her cheeks. He breathes deeply; a sharp inhale into her mouth that pulled his frame taught against hers. The forgotten treat pressed up against the divot of his pectoral muscles. 

The instant his tongue snaked into her mouth, he was bombarded with the warm and sweet taste of her mouth. Marshmallows and just her essence crowding over his taste buds; his nose also breathing in the fruity scent of her hair and woodsy burnt candy. Urgently, his lips suckled on her lower lip, y/n gasping at the sudden, ardent actions. 

Had she been any other girl, that would have been the night she finally let herself have sex with Jason. 

The mood was right; they were both bleeding mad for each other. 

But, y/n was y/n and that’s not how she was wired to go. Her mind began again with the confusion, her heart rate picking up double the rates from both the proximity of the boy and what was going to happen if the kiss continued. Did she want this? Fuck, of course she wanted this! Why was she…

“She’s not gonna do it because she’s a prude!” said one of the girls in the room. 

“No, I’m n-”

“Yeah, you are y/n. You’re a virgin. Probably wouldn’t even know what to do,” said the same girl.

Y/n had been invited to a party that the cheerleaders in her class were throwing, and boys from rival school had been invited to. They were all sitting in a circle- enough people to fill up the living room of a rich man’s house- playing a game of truth or dare, and they’d just gotten to y/n. 

She’d gotten dared to give one of the football players of the opposing school a blowjob… in the middle of the living room, with everyone watching. When they all saw her face fall, redden, and then pale,  no one wasted time to verbally pounce on her hesitance.

“Look at her! She’d pathetic Marcy, she’s not gonna do it.” The girl who invited her, Marcy, looked at her with a smirk. 

Embarrassed, and just numb to everything that was going on around her as well as what may come depending on her decisions. All she knew is that she needed to do this because she’d look bad if she didn’t. She didn’t want to be known as a prude. Even if she was a virgin. She didn’t want to be thought of badly. 

“Yes, I will.” Her meek reply had silenced the whole room.

“Come over here, and blow me.” Chris was a sophomore that was known for his promiscuous ways, and the fact that he had a big… that was evident when y/n came to kneel in front of him. 

Shaking, she sat in front of him with wide eyes, her back burning with stares and her heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her hands. 

Throughout it all, she felt disgusting. Ashamed. And unable to breathe because the guy wasn’t letting her come off, holding her down with a strong grip in her hair. Tears burned on her lashes and down her cheeks, partly from being unable to breathe, and the other because she was scared. 

God, she was so scared. What would happen to her when this got out? What then? When everyone knew what she’d done? There were more than enough witnesses present to attest that she’d given head to a guy she didn’t even know.

She’d felt a hand on her breast, and her eyes snapped open from their painful clench; alarmed. The guy sitting next to Chris had leaned over to touch her, and at her scared look he only laughed and continued to do it. His hand trailed lower and lower, and eventually she felt something hot spill down her aching throat. Her ears were ringing, her eyes bleary. 

Much of how she escaped had been... blurred through her panic.

But the feeling… that dreadful, terrorized feeling. It was what deer felt moments before being impacted by a car. 

She’d never forget it.

It was the same feeling creeping up on her then. The niggling, freezing, ambushed fear. It’s the reason why she pulled away from him, and said in a wet whisper, “I can’t.”

She hugs her arms across her chest, oreo still in hand, and turns away with her eyes dropped to the floor.  Y/n’s mind is reeling, utterly confused and just so scared scared scared.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jason asked, trailing after her to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. His lips are a dark shade of pink, the skin of his cheeks a flushed color; if one were to look down, they’d see the heather grey color of his sweatpants was slightly lifted. But his arousal was pushed aside by his concern towards the small girl, who shivered when his fingers grazed her shoulder. He could see her eyes were shut closed, but a tear escaped to roll down her cheeks, and at that the thick hairs of his brows dipped to crinkle on his forehead. “Y/n?”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, her words hitching and cracking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Jason pulled her into his chest, his head shaking no no no to her apologies. “There’s no need to be sorry, dovie. It’s okay. You’re alright.” 

“But I am! I so sorry, Jason. I-” Her words died on her tongue, collapsed by a series of sobs that ruptured out of her lips. She was guilty. So so guilty. She felt like she was lying to him by not telling him of what had… occurred. 

“Baby, baby, hey. Y/n,” He pulled back to cup her face with his hands again, forcing her to gaze into his calm, forest eyes. “Listen to me. Deep breaths,” he began to inhale, his chest expanding with the intake of air. “You’re okay. I’m not mad at you for anything, dove.” 

“You don’t know what I’ve done,” Y/n sets the cookie on the counter, and goes to wipe at her eyes roughly, Jason tugging at her wrists and doing it himself, shushing her as he does. 

“Well I can’t be mad if I don’t know, yeah?” He gives her a small smile. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“N-no,” she shakes her head. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay.” He nods, still smiling. “That’s okay. I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.”

Y/n just nodded and gave him a sad attempt to seem happy, but her chin began to tremble, crinkles appearing underneath her lip, and she rushed to dig her nose in the crook of Jason’s neck. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d tell me what’s got you so upset.” He murmured into her hair, his arms wrapping around her. 

“Please, Jason. I don’t wanna,” She sniffled. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Alright. I’ll stop asking. Don’t wanna stress you out anymore, dovie. You need a break as it is.” Jason rubs a warm hand up and down her back soothingly when he feels her nose dip into his collarbone. 

She sniffles some more, a slight hiccup in her breaths, and Jason continues, “speaking of breaks,” this catches her attention, and y/n tilts her head so she’s able to rest it in his shoulder and look up at his side profile. “Would you like to go to the aquarium with me next week?” 

At this, her head springs up so she’s eye level with Jason, her wet eyes gleaming as a surprised smile plays on her mouth. “The aquarium?” 

“Yes, the aquarium.” Jason laughed at her response, his eyes flitting between hers. The skin of his chin crinkled because he was looking down at her, and y/n wondered how he still managed to look so good with a double chin. “A little birdy told me you’ve been wanting to go.” 

Squealing, she said, “Oh my gosh, Jason please! Can we?!” 

Jason pressed a small kiss to her nose, “Of course, silly. It’s why I asked.”

“I’ve been asking Andrew but he….” she trails off, and her eyes become squinty, “heeey, did he tell you?” 

“Mayb-” She jumped suddenly at the feeling of her phone vibrating in her back pocket. The Simpsons theme song blaring through the quiet kitchen, and letting her know her brother was calling. Most likely to tell her it was time to come home. 

“I’ll go get your stuff,” Jason mumbled, separating himself with a wistful look in his eye. 

Y/n mumbled a ‘thank you’ and fished her phone out of her back pocket, pressing the green call button and holding it up to her ear.

“Hey, lover girl. Mom says it’s time to come home. See ya,” and he hangs up before y/n can even respond. 

Rolling her eyes, y/n heads upstairs to help Jason pack her stuff with all her troubles plaguing her heart like weeds.

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n had eased up a little on her avid studying habits because the SAT had passed, and she studied hard enough that she wasn’t planning on re-taking the exam-- no matter the score. In addition to that, there was enough to place on her shelf to make her look… well, better than good. Years worth of community service work, volunteering, participating in and starting clubs, all about to finally pay off. It was surreal. Kinda stressful, too, but now that she had time off she wanted to decompress. Enjoy herself some. 

To begin with, much of it was taking time off with herself. Meaning, no Jason, or Andrew, or her parents. Just her. She didn’t even have to explain to Jason that she wanted to be alone because after her initial comment of taking time off alone, he’d kissed her palm and murmured about how proud he was against her skin. No bitterness or spite attached. He’d even made a joke about ‘bro time with Andrew’. 

The gym nearest to her house was offering a free month trial-- which just so happened to be the amount of time she was planning on taking to relax before starting to study for finals again-- and she took it up instantly when she found out that they offered yoga and guided meditation classes. It was most likely the best thing she’d ever done.

Apart from getting an hour of physical exercise a day (because yoga is harder than it looks) she was the most relaxed ever. Her sleep was the best it’s been in so long, and her body felt so light. Time to reflect, she’d decided, was very important.

 Plus, her self-esteem had gone up knowing she was doing something to better herself for* herself. 

For the most part, that was how most of her days went.

Go to school, sometimes she’d eat lunch with Jason, get a ride home from him (the goodbye kisses ignited her), head to the gym, come back home and fall right asleep. She took advantage of the first three periods to finish any work that she had to turn in.

It’s only logical that she’d be nervous the day of her date with Jason, since it hadn’t been on her mind at all, and she hadn’t been spending time with the boy so his presence has not consoled her. An anxious fervor had plotted itself in the depths of her belly, goading her like a devil on her shoulder. Better watch how you act, it said, or you’ll fuck this all up.

Jason was the same way. 

The poor boy had also taken to working out to release his...stress. Sleepless nights were spent with the weight-rack in his father’s home gym- arms aching from the strain of bench pressing. Shirtless torso draped in a sheen of sweat, flushed a pink color and littered with prominent veins as he pulled his body upwards, jaw clenched and mind focused, having already reached the point where he listens to his body’s begs for mercy. Rhythmic release of tense breaths escaped through the hard line of his lips, muscles defined under a glint of perspiration beneath the lights of the room, shorts low on his hips. His curls dripped salty beads down the line of his nose, and matted on his forehead. 

He lost himself in the repetitive movements, body going numb until his brain turned off. 

It was almost better than sex. Hell he did it to forget about sex.  

He swears his body chose to betray him every time he was getting ready to fall asleep, projecting filthy images of a girl so sweet, he felt guilty just humoring them. Swollen red lips, hot mouths, soft hands, perky breasts blotchy with his marks. These pictures were so explicit and vivid in his brain about y/n, who was nothing but sweet and kind, and had never come close to even insinuating the things he imagined. 

Hell on earth-- torture is what it felt like, having to ignore sticking a hand down his pants and pulling at himself until he found relief with such an innocent girl on his mind. It made him feel icky and gross because she was so pure. Jason preferred to turn to exhaustion of his body rather than pleasure. And, more often that not he greeted his father’s gym with a scowl and determination to distract himself, pushing himself until he was nothing but a breathless, strained heap laying all tired-out on the bench, salty beads running a path down his forehead and dripping down his neck where his shoulders drooped-- defeated.  

Waking up the next day was a burning adventure; muscles feeling as if they’d been shot through and pricked with needles over and over again.  

But, his dignity was still intact and he was able to look y/n in the eyes with no remorse. The one time he’d jerked off to her, he was a sweating, burning mess as he made his way up to her in the halls.

He’d learned his lesson then.

His nerves didn’t run as deep as y/n’s, but he did second guess himself the more intricate his plan got. Take a certain route, be there at a certain time so there wouldn’t be so full, alert the personnel of his presence. 

Jason had approached his mother, Anne, the night that she had come home, and questioned her about her friend’s sister that worked as a zookeeper, to see if she had connections to the aquarium. Turns out, she did and-and, 

“Honey, what’s the sudden interest in Penny’s sister?” She looked up at her son while chopping green onions. 

Stammering, he rubbed his neck and said, “I was kinda… wondering- maybe, uhm… you could call in a favor for-for me…”

“What for?” 

“I wanted to ask… y/n to prom at the uhm.. The aquarium,” his cheeks go pink and he can’t keep steady eye-contact with his mother. She’s smiling at him knowingly, smiling at him from underneath the lip of the wine-glass she holds up to her mouth. 

She smacks her lip, “Y/n? The prom? When did this happen?” Anne smirked at him, scraping the onions off the cutting board with a knife onto the pan. 

This would be the moment where the distraught teenage boy goes off on his mom for being absent and not knowing a single thing about him. Slam his firsts against the counter-top while sneering. 

But Jason loved his mother and they maintained good communication, so there would be none of that. “Start of February…” He bites his thumb.

The sound of sizzling onions is what fills in the silence of their gazes. His mother slowly nodded her head, and Jason blushing. 

“I knew it.” 

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?” 

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, I knew.” 

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?” 

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, and that look in your eye…” She gleamed at her son. “You love her, don’t you?” 

The boy gaped at his mother. Had he really been that transparent from the beginning? So much so that not even he had noticed his feelings? “You knew?” 

“Course I did. Pushed you out of me didn’t I? Know you like the back of my hand.” His mother set the glass down and continued cutting vegetables. “It’s a mother’s instinct to know when her boy has been swept off his feet.” A soft pat on the cheek meets a dazed Jason. “Now, what’s this favor you wanted?” 

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n was scared to admit how deep her feelings were for Jason.

Scared to admit that the usual fluttering gnaw at her ribs had developed into an inferno that took over her entire body, centering at her heart and spreading through her nervous system, leaving her skin a tingling network of her emotions.

Basically, take puppy love, and remove ‘puppy’. She loved him. With her entire being and more she loved him. She could see her life with him more secure than anything in her life, which was a big admission because the poor girl was all about security. And Jason made her feel more comfortable than anything in her life at that moment; he made her forget about anything that wasn’t them together in that moment. 

The morning of their date was like one of those scenes in movies where the character just has that really big realization, and all her feelings hit her at once. Y/n pieced it all together in a few seconds. How much he meant to her, how she loved him* and how scary it would be if she were to admit her feelings and receive nothing in return. 

It was at cause of these thoughts that her nerves revved up to their max, mind overthinking different ways that her feelings might cause this date to go wrong. Like something might slip from her lips; a rushed, urgent proclamation of her devotion full of jumbled stutters and met with a stunned look and a freshly single boyfriend.

“Honey, Jason’s here!” Called her mother at the base of the stairs. 

Y/n watched herself grow pale in her reflection, teeth sinking in her bottom lip. No turning back now. 

“Coming!” She took one last look at herself, pulling on the sleeves of the cardigan she layered over the long, white-eyelet dress she was saving for an occasion like this. It was a light, summer material with white embroidered flowers and a nice frilly detain around the waist. The creme cardigan served no purpose other than the fact that she was nervous, and covering up calmed her down. There wasn’t much to cover, but bare shoulders made her heart want to start a riot, screaming at her that people were looking and it was time to get anxious about whether she looked good or not. 

She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the dewy makeup on her face, drawing her mind away from picking at it until it was perfect because it would never be that and it’s okay. Instead, she focused on what lay ahead of her for the day— and maybe that was a tad bit worse but that didn’t matter because she was already in the witch’s pot and the brew was boiling— her date with Jason looming with possibility. Not to mention, she’d finally be getting to see the newly added exhibits she was longing to see. 

Cute baby sea lions, penguins and jellyfish that quickly outweighed all the disastrous scenarios filling her mind. 

Skipping down the steps with an eager smile on her lips, y/n struggled to hold in all her happy squeaks because downstairs Jason was waiting for her and-

“There she is!” Her mother greeted her at the base of the stairs, and winked at her daughter with a smile, a cheeky expression displayed upon the fact that what was happening was a surprising event. Her little y/n going out on a date with none other than her favorite out of Andrew’s friends, Jason.

This would have been the moment in the movies where everything freezes and everyone else disappears. The camera comes to a zoom in on Jason and y/n’s faces, the screen split in half but it the same, dreamy, loved-up expression on both their faces. Y/n’s cheeks warmed with a soft flush and a cheek splitting grin on her mouth, lips that shined with the gloss she had put on them, and eyes that shined under the kitchen lights with an extra sparkle that had floated up from her chest that had become the cavern where she shoved all her emotions.

Jason is equally stunned, unsure of how his girlfriend could get any more beautiful. Bunny teeth on full display, hands in the pockets of his blue jeans. He wore a satin bomber jacket with a tiger on the lower right side of his abdomen that was perched on snow-capped mountains that stretched up to his chest, a swooping eagle on his left breast. Two buttons were left unclasped, the collar of a white under-shirt peeking out, and the dip of his breast-bone on display, highlighted by the glint of the golden cross necklace his grandmother had given him when he was eight.

Meanwhile he took in the sight of her, y/n did the same as well, eyes roaming all over his figure and settling on the eyes that were already set on hers. He loved how she turned a pretty bothered color when they locked dreamy gazes. How her demeanor changes to shy glances when he smiles at her all toothy- his dimples prominent on his cheeks. The boy straightened, looking proud to be able to take her on a date. 

“Well are you guys gonna stare at each other all day, or go to the aquarium?” Andrew asked. He was standing at the kitchen entrance, a bag of Cheetos in his arm, and one cheek bulging with chips. 

“Andrew!” His mother playfully swatted his bicep. “Be nice! You’ll be the same, just wait.”

“Ready to go?” Jason asked, giving a sluggish nod towards the door, his being still transfixed in y/n, who nodded equally as slow even though her heart raced a mile a minute. “Alright, let’s go then. I’ll bring her home before 10, Mrs. Y/L/N.” Y/n walked towards the hand that Jason stretched out for her to grab, her hand swimming in his. It suddenly made sense why he was able to launch a football 400 meters. His hands were big, with a wide palm and nimble fingers that wrapped around hers, the top of it striped with the pleasing ridged of his veins. 

“Bye, hunnies! Have fun…. But not too much fun!” The mother clutched at her chest, her eyes soft at the sight of Jason opening the door for her daughter. 

“Ew, mom!” Andrew said, crumbling the bag to a close and retreating up the stairs, presumably to his room. He stopped at the base, and turned to say, “And I’ll be here, the brother forgotten by this best friend, woe is me!” 

His friend twisted around with a hand on the doorknob, “You know I love you, babe!” 

Andrew said something stupid along the lines of ‘show me, ya stud!’ before his mother shushed him up and waved at the couple that it was okay to leave, approaching the doorway to lock up.

Y/n peeked sideways at Jason, finding him already looking at her with a cheeky smirk. 

“Caughtcha looking,” He said, taking hold of her hand again and giving it a mall squeeze, leaning over to peck her cheek. “Missed you, y/n.”

She wanted to stop and pull him in by both sides of his face to smash their lips together, but she knew that her mom was probably watching through the window. “Wanna kiss you good so bad, but my mom’s probably watching through the window and I don’t wanna hear about it later.” 

“It’s okay, baby, I know. Wanted to ravish you when I saw you coming down the stairs, but that’s not the most appropriate thing to do when my girlfriend’s mom is present, is it?” They reached his car, and he sped up slightly to open the door for her, placing a hand on the small of her back. The grip on her phone increased at the sudden warmth on her body, her mind jumping to dirty assumptions on where this could lead to. 

She got in the car with a quiver in her belly, and it jolted away when Jason shut the door behind her. What was she thinking? Their relationship was built upon glances and sly touches, and how she was flustered in a non-sexual way over him? Strongly?

“Did you wanna get food anywhere before?” He said when he opened the door to his side, leg hiking up and to the side to take a seat. “Dunno ‘bout you, but I’m really really craving those chicken-avocado paninis from that one little coffee shop, and I know you really like their milk tea, what do you say?”

“I say that’s a really good idea.” Y/n said, nodding with a pinch on one side of her face, her true feeling hidden. Eyes trained at the way he held the steering wheel; one hand at 12 while he turned the key into the ignition. Maybe he would hold her neck while the other rubbed at her…

What the fuck? She needs to cut it out. 

Clearing her throat and looking out the window she said, “I could definitely go for a milk tea right now…”

“Yeah? Are you excited for today?” He twists to check behind him before pulling out of his parallel position to the curb, and y/n uses that moment to glance at the smooth skin of his neck, imagining how it would feel underneath her fingertips… her mouth…

“Yes,” She chokes, saliva collecting at the back of her tongue and slipping through. There’s a small pause where she coughs, and Jason plucks a bottle of water from the glove compartment, the back of his hand grazing her knees and the tops of her thighs, which only makes her cough harder. 

“Are you okay, my love? Here,” using the flat of his wrist to take hold on the steering wheel while he opened the bottle, “drink some. I don’t want you to die before you’ve seen the jellyfish.” 

A feeble ‘thank you*’ left her lips before the water bottle occupied it. The liquid washed out anything that had agitated her, and she drank extra to fill the time for at least a few more seconds. She was terrified of doing something wrong. 

The car was pulling up the parking lot of their local cafe when she placed the bottle in the cup holder between them. Jason didn’t have a clue what was going through her head, or the fact that he should be concerned because her thoughts had traveled to him fingering her while she made a mess of his seat. He was simply so grateful to be spending time with the girl who he loved. 

Who he loved.

The boy had realized the extremities of his regards after his mother had spoken them aloud. 

You love her don’t you?

Yes, yes he did. He had known that it was there. The guzzling, spritzy feeling he felt over his chest- like when a sip of a freshly opened can of Sprite goes down your throat- when he saw her, felt her touch, thought about her, had always been there. Always. It was there the day he bumped into her outside of the locker room, her tiny frame going unnoticed when he rounded the corner of the locker room where she was waiting for her brother because he was busy texting some girl, but the moment he heard a squeaky ‘oh, I’m so sorry!’, it was there. 

In some aspects, Jason was a bit dense, and this was one of them. He didn’t act when he should’ve. Or at least recognized what was going on in that broad chest of his-- he doesn’t think he would’ve acted because Andrew wouldn’t have held back. They hadn’t developed such a strong bond to come to the understanding that they did (Jason had made a really bold statement about life long partners and Andrew had been too blown away to stay mad). 

Jason loved y/n, and he always would; that was just facts.

“Wanna stay in here or go inside with me?” He asked her, taking the key out and placing a hand on the door. 

She was lightning quick to say “With you!” a bashful look overcoming her when he looked at her all knowingly, like he could see right through her. “I’ll go with you so you don’t have to carry everything,”  y/n blubbered in efforts to reclaim her dignity, and stepped out of the car. 

He feigned being hurt, “Owie, that stung. Are you saying I’m not strong?” Jason followed after her, a playful pout in his lips, “Tell you what,” he placed an arm around her neck, tugging her close to him and putting his lips by her ear, “I can carry you and the food, at the same time.”

Tables with umbrellas were located at the front of the cafe, people sitting with their computers open or having a chat with friends. Some looked up, some didn’t, but the stares of those who did made y/n feel thousands of times shyer than what she felt. 

The girl couldn’t help but squeeze the fabric of her sweater around herself, her thoughts getting the best of her, the feeling of his lips an enticing action that drove her mad…

He knew it too, chuckling to himself as he opened the door. 

Inside, only a single person made up the line for ordering, and she was already in the process of giving the man her card to pay. Jason and y/n stood side by side, looking up at the menus as if they were thinking over their choices, but really just thinking about each other. 

“Nex- Well, well, well.”

Y/n doesn’t think she had ever forgotten that voice. And hearing it ten, with Jason at her side, brought back the fear she hadn’t even begun to overcome. Her face went white, her lungs freezing, and her feet glued to the ground. 

Shock, was the medical term for it. 

When your body is submerged into temperatures it can’t handle, it goes through a series of procedures to attempt survival. It begins to slow down to conserve energy, shutting down to keep in heat, or await help. Hearts slow, lungs slow, and in extreme, abrupt situations, a person can faint. 

At the appearance of Chris after nearly an entire year, y/n wanted to faint. She wished she had, that way she wouldn’t have to endure Jason’s confused glances, and Chris’s malicious, salacious smirk. 

“Y/n, long time no see, baby.” He said, a piece of gum that he had hidden in his cheek appearing as he started to chew, leaning forward on the counter and giving Jason a once over. “Who’s that?” 

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed at the audacity this guy had, calling his girl ‘baby’. Y/n wasn’t looking at him, she couldn’t- she wasn’t aware of what was happening anymore, retreated into deep parts of her brain- but had she, she would’ve seen a bone-chilling, intimidating look of dominance in his usually kind green eyes. “I’m her boyfriend, who are you?” He said, stepping forward so his thighs were flush with the edge of the counter. His body was pulled tight like the strings on a violin, one pluck away from releasing a disastrous melody. 

Y/n’s eyes began to tear from not blinking them, her heart going from beating normal to beating so hard she could feel it in her fingertips, her stomach dropping like it had been ripped to her feet. 

“Who am I?” Chris licked the inside of his cheek, and y/n gagged. Repulsed, her feet tripped over themselves in attempts to get to the trashcan by the pickup site. “There wasn't even anything in your mouth, babe! Guess that thing they say about muscle memory is true, huh?”

Jason didn’t pay attention to the last thing that he said because he ran over to hold his girlfriend’s hair, rubbing her back and whispering that ‘it’s okay, my love, take deep breaths’. Her body started to tremble when nothing came out, her eyes emitting actual tears now, feeling undeserving of Jason’s affection because of what she’d done.

“I’m so-rry,” she whispered, her face a splotchy, red color that made him panic on the inside at what could plague her. “Can we go?” 

“Yeah,” He nodded quickly, no questions asked.”Yeah, let’s go.” 

Y/n shot up then, practically running out of the store while Chris laughed a belly-clenching laugh that pushed her out further. Jason looked back at him once, anger on clear display because whatever the guy had done, it was bad if it made her this upset.

When he turned around, y/n’s figure was disappearing  through the view of the store’s window, arms clutching herself as she ran to the parking lot. There were more stares than when they first arrived when he ran out after her with a call of her name. 

“Y/n!” He turned the corner to see her yanking violently at his door handle, tears streaming continuously down her cheeks now. Her shoulder jerked back and pushed forward until her knuckles collided on the material of the car. She was hurting herself. “Hey!” He yelled, yanking her back and wrapping his arms around her torso to restrict her movements. 

She thrashed for a few seconds, sobs leaving her until she went limp, which was when he let her go. His eyes were wide with concern, not being able to believe what had just happened. 

“Dovie? Look at me, dovie,” With a curled finger, he gently encouraged her to look at him. Irritated, doe eyes blinked with...  fear. 

“Do you want me?” Were the words that left her mouth in a breathy tremble. 

“I always want you,” Jason said, not hesitating to respond to her abrupt inquiry. His thick brown eyebrows were still knitted, however, and she knew that she owed him answers. As much as she couldn’t bring herself to give them up, y/n said,

“Would you want me even if I was used?” She shut her eyes tight, not being able to bear looking at him. It felt as if she were the one using him then, comforted by his presence, but lying to him as well. 

He scoffed, head shaking. “Yes. Even then I’d still love you.” Jason’s composure remains the same,neither alarmed or shocked that he had let it ‘slip’ past his lips because he hadn’t. He loved her and he told her. 

Y/n, on the other hand, burst into tears and dropped her head, her forehead on his chest, chanting a pathetic, “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Y/n, I need you to tell me what just happened,” He crooned into her ear, his lips kissing her head in attempts to show his affection to comfort her, “Let me help you.” 

She shook her head, and the gold zipper of his sweater scratched her forehead when she did. “No. No, I’m sorry.” She looked up at him, her voice pleading, “I don’t want to ruin our date. Can I tell you after?” Jason looked at her with lips pressed into a firm line. “Please.” She begged.

“Not gonna ruin our date, dovie,” He kissed her right cheek, and her eyelid, the bridge of her nose, and nudged his forehead against hers, “Spent so much time waiting for you, that I’m not gonna let a silly thing break us apart. I’m willing to fight, y/n. I already have.” He fumbled behind her, unlocking the door and propping it open before he pressed a kiss to her lips. A deep press that conveyed everything he just said. I love you.

A shaky, relieved breath left her when they parted, her eyes still shut when he said, “Get in the car, my love,” with another, plushy kiss to her lips before he stepped back to see her get in the car. Her eyes opened slowly to see him smiling at her, no trace of anything strange in his eyes- like he had forgotten everything that happened in the past 10 minutes. 

Y/n mumbled an ‘okay’ and got inside, putting on his seat belt as he closed the door and walked over to his side. She wondered if this was it, if this was her messing up and at the end of the day she would be crying into her pillow because he’d broken up with her. If e was just playing nice because that was just Jason, his MO.

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice that he had turned on the radio until he started singing along to it. An oldies station that he always had on if there wasn’t any music coming from his phone. It was in the middle of Prince’s Nothing Compares 2 U to which Jason didn’t hesitate to start singing. 

“I went to the doctor’s and guess what he told me, guess what he told me,” he looked over at her while he was singing, a playful look in his eyes, and he shimmied his shoulders. It was a classic ‘sing to your girlfriend so she’ll never forget this song and always associate this song with you’ moment. 

“I went to the doctor’s and guess what he told me, guess what he told me,” he looked over at her while he was singing, a playful look in his eyes, and he shimmied his shoulders. It was a classic ‘sing to your girlfriend so she’ll never forget this song and always associate this song with you’ moment. 

“He said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do,” his singing voice was a direct reflection on his character, smooth like honey, but deep and slightly scratchy like the comfort of burning wood, “but he’s a fool.” 

Just then, his voice gets a little louder, “Cause nothing compares to you.” He placed a hand on her knee, his lips forming an exaggerated ‘o’ shape on the ‘you’. Jason was clearly singing to her, his eyes flickering from the road to her as a sweet gesture to direct his words to her. 

Y/n sniffled and laughed, using her finger to trace the veins on the back of Jason’s hands, looking up at him while he sang to her. She had the sudden urge to reiterate what he had confessed in the parking lot. How it swelled in her chest, and consumed her. 

But she couldn’t. It was hard and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he didn’t know the whole truth about her. Instead she wrote it on his hand. Her caresses going from random to spelling out letters on his knuckles. He noticed this. How the movements were calculated now, and the singing stopped. Green eyes went from the road to her eyes, to the road to their hands.

I love you, too.

She wiped her hand over his when she finished, and didn’t dare look up at him, so she looked out the window but left her hand in his hold. He brought it up to his lips, and kissed her knuckles, rubbing his lips over them repeatedly.

*                                                      *                                  * 

Jason stepped out of the car, and took long, quick strides over to her door, y/n admiring how long and muscular his legs looked in his jeans. He pulled the door open, leaning back so the door could swing past his torso, but staying relatively close to the car, giving her just enough space to get out. Y/n didn’t think anything of it, until she stood, and was face to face with his face, her nose swamped with the toned down scent of fresh, spring scented body wash merged with the soft smell of his skin. 

Given how close she was, she could see the lines on his cupid's bow where his skin color changed from a golden tint to the strawberry of his lips. 

“Can you kiss me properly now, baby?” He said, voice low and raspy. Hands came to flatten on the hood of his Prius, caging her in so she was close to his torso. A blush formed from the way he stared at her mouth like he was starved. 

“P-properly?” She muttered, her hands taking purchase on his hips, and smoothing up his sides, the material cool under her hands. 

“Yeah,” He licked the inside of his cheek, his head tilting, “Like this.”

Jason pushed forward until her back hit the car, and their hips were flush, y/n’s hands stuck between them, but she maneuvered them to she could palm at his chest, her nails digging in like cat’s claws when his lips found their way together, pillowed between each other in a passionate embrace that warmed her to her toes. 

“Mmph, baby ‘ya marking me with your fingers,” He spoke in a sotto voice, heavy breaths and wet noises of their smacking lips resonating through their ears.

It took everything in her not to moan, and she knew that if they kept going it would be inevitable, so she unclenched her hands with a reluctant squeak, and ducked her head into his neck. Breath hot on his neck, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, no. I… uhm, I liked it, my love. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t be shy.” He flexed his jaw, his eyes rolling at the back of his head at recalling the feeling of her hands- dainty and small, and sweet,, and god* it was just her*- clawing at his chest. Jason dipped forward, and kissed her neck. His lips staining her skin with scorching heat, the soft skin creating a magnetic force between them. 

She moaned at that, her teeth scratching at his neck tentatively.  “Stop it,” Her head felt floaty, her limbs soft, “Wanna see the fishies and the way that you’re…” “The way that I’m what, dovie?” He’s stunned by her moan, his brain haywire. “Tell me.”

“The way you’re talking is gonna me make me wanna stay here, and I really wanna see the fishies. Please?” She’s whining; voice an embarrassingly high pitched tone. Her hands gripped the collar of his sweater for stability because her knees were shaking. 

“Alright. Alright, let’s go see the fishies, baby.” Jason pecks her one last time at the juncture of her neck, and takes a step back to grab her hand. “Come on.”

*                                                      *                                  * 

 “So, they’ve got McDonald’s, Tam’s Burgers, Ruby’s Diner, and Sushi.” Jason holds a tri-fold directory of the aquarium in one hand, and y/n’s hand in the other. 

“Sushi? At an aquarium?” She skews half her face to the side like she tasted something sour. 

“I know right?” He copies her face, “The irony. Up for burgers? It’s all they’ve got.” 

Y/n’s stomach grumbled at the mention of food, and she giggled when Jason noticed and laughed at her. “Burgers sound good,” she said, rubbing her stomach comically.  Although she was still heated by their earlier interaction, both were pretending like nothing happened, and like they didn’t have a big thing waiting for them at the end of the day.

Like she wasn’t going to reveal how sh-

“Anything for you, baby.” Jason Jason held up the tri-fold again and blew out of his lips as he made out the route to Tam’s burgers. 

When they both got there, they ordered the same thing: one cheeseburger with a vanilla milkshake. Oh, and they were sharing chili cheese fries.

It was the epitome of a perfect date for a young couple in love. They chose to sit on the same side of the booth because they were greedy to get everything they could from each other. Unnecessary touches were made more than the amount of things they said to each other. Him brushing hair behind her each, hand on her thigh, rubbing her cheeks, feeding her, wiping her mouth, her arm hooked through his, pecking his cheek after a sip of her milkshake, nudging his feet with hers, caressing his thigh. It was on the rubbing his thigh part where things would get slightly heated, and Jason would stop to kiss her, licking into her mouth to taste the vanilla that was also on his tongue.

Jason paid for their meal, much to y/n’s begging, and then walked her over to the penguin exhibit.

“Heard one of their eggs just hatched, and I want you to see it.” He said, swinging their hands between them.

“Really?” She asked, her features lifted with excitement. “Well then let’s go!” Y/n ran ahead of him, looking back at him and pulling at his arm. Laughing, they swerved around people and ran past the large tank that represented the reef ecosystem, blue light from the sun that streamed through the top of the tank dancing on their skin like shadows. It was a magical moment, even though they looked like weirdos. In their head they were in their own movie, their own world.

 “Jason, honey? Is that you?” A woman in green cargo shorts and the customary blue shirts with the aquarium’s logo on the left breast called from the inside of the penguin expedition. She had raven black hair in a low bun, and red lipstick paired with a bright smile. She was feeding the animals from  two buckets on the edge of the pool where they were jumping in. 

“Hey, Janet!” Jason called out, waving from behind the glass barrier. “Long time no see, have you gotten younger?” 

She laughed and turned around, walking through an archway and disappearing from view. A male walked out, and smiled towards the couple, nodding once and turned his attention towards the penguins. He whistled once, and they all came to him, huddling around him expectantly.

Then he bent downwards and placed the back of his hand on the penguins tummy, pressing back and they waddled backwards. He did the same to four others, pressing them so they were in a straight line, and they stayed where he placed them. Janet came out then, with black objects in her arms. 

“What are they….” Y/n asked, confused as to what was going on because she had been to this aquarium several times and had never seen such things. “... doing?” 

Janet removed one of the items from her chest, and y/n could see that they were large letters. A ‘P’ which she placed at the feet of the first penguin. ‘R’ on the one following. They rested against their bellies, and after an initial peck at it, they left it alone and watched their keepers expectantly, presumably for food. ‘O’ followed, then ‘M’. And as the question mark was being laid on the last penguin, Jason turned to watch his girlfriend’s face, waiting for the realization to hit. It didn’t take very long.

“Oh my gosh, Jason, look! Look it spells prom!” She pointed at it excitedly, a smile from ear to ear as she looked on at the animals, amused by their antics. She looked over at him to share her glee, and found him watching her with a dreamy smirk. “Look at the animals! Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Will you go to prom with me?” 

Y/n’s jaw dropped, the full realization hitting her. This had been planned, more specifically, Jason had planned this. “You did this?” She asked. Looking back and then at him again as he nodded slowly, still waiting for an answer. She stood there for a moment, stunned, and after a blink she jumped into his arms. “Yes! Yes! Yes, I want to go to prom with you!” 

He didn’t waste any time in wrapping his hands around her waist and twirling her around, laughing. Kissing her cheek, he set her to her feet and she was watching him with bleary eyes, a pout on her lips. “You did this for me?” 

“Technically, my mom did, but yes. Had her call in for me. Did you like it?” He put his hands in the pocket of his bomber jacket, his lips puckered as he tried to conceal a proud smile. 

“I love it, so much, Jason I-” She’s left speechless, and she glances up at the animals again, where Janet and the other keep were throwing fish at them. “Thank you.” The tips of her fingers came to cover her mouth, tears of joy threatening to slip. 

“Don’t cry, dovie. You weren’t supposed to cry,” he cooed, slipping his hands out again to wipe at the tears that fell down her cheeks.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Leaning up on her tip-toes, y/n abruptly yanked at his jacket, and crushed their lips together. 

“There we go! Your mother would love this!” Janet whooped, and her cheers caused the couple to split from each other with red faces, laughs covering their embarrassment. 

“Hush up, and let me kiss my girl will ya?” Jason pointed a finger at her and pretended to scowl. “We’re leaving to somewhere where we can smooch in peace!” Nearby people laughed at his jokes.

“Bye, sweetie! Tell your mother I said hello!” She waved goodbye, and returned her attention to the penguins at her feet. 

Y/n waved a goodbye along with Jason, yelling a ‘thank you’ as she walked away. Her brain was still trying to process what had happened when they turned the corner and walked into the new exhibit of the darker layers of the ocean. A long, winding hallway where the only light was the glow coming from the bio-luminescence animals in the water. 

An influx of serotonin swimming through her veins, squeals leaving her where she noticed where they were. 

“The jellyfish!” She left Jason’s side to stand in front of the large glass. An abundant amount of jellyfish bobbed up and around each other at slow, hypnotizing speeds. Glowing, long tentacles swaying in their trail; networks of veiny light streams present in each of them. The blue hue reflecting off of her skin, and onto the pane where it showed her amazed reflection.

“They’re beautiful,” she mumbled. Jason caught up, and stood besides her, his figure also appearing on the glass pane that held the jellyfish. “I could watch them all day.” 

His eyes drifted from the jellyfish to her side profile, admiring how ethereal she looked in that moment. Her face was soft with curiosity and wonder. “Me too.”

“You’re not even looking at them.” She gives him a side-eye glance. 

“I know.” He turned so his feet pointed to her, and combed his hair back because a few curls were tickling his forehead. “Can’t believe I’m gonna have the prettiest girl as my prom date.” 

Y/n’s nostrils flared and she sucked in her lips to suppress a smile. “Stop it.”

“S’true. Everyone’s gonna be so jealous of me.” He sucked in a breath, “Gonna have to hold on to you so no one steals you from me.” 

She knows he means every word that leaves his lips. And that the words are meant to tickle her heart with their honesty. While they do so, they also break it. Y/n thinks she’s living a lie. Not her relationship with him, but the way she acts and portrays herself. So much of herself, she kept hidden. It hurt knowing that he was being so genuine, and she wasn’t. It hurt more than knowing he could break up with her if he knew the truth. 

So, she decided to come clean. Even though they decided on the end of the day, her conscience wasn’t letting her live. 

“Jason, I have something to tell you.” She said, her throat closing up on the second syllable of his name, and crying by the end of her sentence. 

The boy brings his palm to her lower back, and moves his thumb up and down comfortingly. “Deep breaths, y/n. I’m listening.” 

“That boy?” She tilts her chin so she’s looking at him, and he nods when they make eye contact. “From the cafe? I knew him from a party.” Deep breath. “We were playing truth or-” a sob leaves her, shoulders sagging as her composure breaks. 

Jason raises his hand from her back to her shoulder, and steps closer so she’s pressed against his chest. “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. I’m not leaving you. Take your time.” 

It would’ve been a lot more embarrassing if people were passing, but they were the only ones there. Had there been someone, they would’ve seen a terribly emotional y/n and a very concerned Jason. 

A creeping feel of panic like the one from that night teased her toes, anxiety of her confession crawling up her spine. But she had to push through. She needed to get this off her chest. 

“We were playing truth or dare, and… and I got dared t-to suck him off in front of everyone else,” another hiccup interrupts her words, and she had to stop to take a deep breath like Jason said, giving him an ashamed, fleeting glance.  Not long enough to see that his eyes were wide with astonishment, eyebrows furrowed with bubbling rage.

“What?” He said, more on the rhetorical side to encourage her to keep talking. His mind kept jumping back to the guy at the cafe and the way he said ‘there wasn’t anything in your mouth, babe’ with a knowing look in his eyes. How he practically violated her with his eyes. Rage filled him; all he wanted to do was punch the guy in the face. 

Anger made itself present in his stunned comment, and y/n took it as a disgusted comment. She jumped to explain herself, “I didn’t want to do it! I swear I didn’t put they started calling me names, a-and I didn’t want them to be upset with me so I-” another collapse of her words, chest rising and falling with desperate breaths. The panis increased, rising up to her chest and gripping like a boa. 

Jason knew that she needed reassurance on that moment and said, “Sh, sh Dovie, deep breaths. It’s alright, I know you didn’t, my dove. That’s called peer pressure.” 

It was clear that this was something she struggled with for a long time, and it hurt him so much inside that he had so blindly lived in the presence of her pain. Held her, touched her, and never noticed that she was so deeply in pain. The anger in him became a mix of bitter remorse at the fact that he had done nothing to push at her, or present himself in a way that showed she could trust him. He was unaware he was crying too until his own vision became blurry with moisture. 

“I left right after he… after he…. Because the other boys started touching me, too. That was when you found me under that tree. Remember?” Shiny doe eyes glimmered with the light that came off the jellyfish at him. They seemed to beg him for forgiveness, for understanding that she was sorry.

“Yes, sweetheart I remember.” Soft fingers crawl up her cheek, caressing like silk at the tears that still fell. Kisses were littered in her temple with strong pressure, a display of his comfort. “Oh, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, baby. It’s not your fault.” 

“I should have said no. I should’ve l-left or something…”

“No. No, y/n this wasn’t your fault. This wasn’t on you. You were under pressure, and they were bullying you as well… Oh my god, baby, this- You don’t want to tell authorities?” 

“No! No, no, Jason I can’t l-let anyone find out I did…” Her eyes shut with distaste, “That. Please, don’t tell anyone.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He nods.

“Do you still want me?” Her cross, and her nails dig into her arms. Y/n bowed her head and sniffled. Jason took note of this, and pried her hands off so she wouldn’t bleed. His heart clenched at the tone of desperation in her voice. It hurt him to even think that he’d leave her so easily, and his words came out more emotionally tainted than he would’ve wanted.

“Y/n look at me.” His hand cupped her cheek, and the other held both of her wrists. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and squeezed him tightly. “I’m not leaving you. Can’t you understand that I love you, baby? I’m not leaving you, not now.”

“God, Jason. I don’t deserve you.” Y/n leans into his touch, sniffling.

“No, dovie. You’ve got that all twisted. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.  You’re so good to me, so kind, and sweet,and I’m so so sorry thing happened to you. But it’s gonna be okay, yeah? We can work through this, I’ll be there by our side. I won’t leave.” The boy followed after her eyes, wanting to maintain eye contact with her, but she was shifty with her gaze. He wanted to be able for her to see-- in his eyes-- that he meant every word.

“I love you.” Y/n jumped into his chest and wrapped her hands around his neck, happy to be free of guilt, and blissfully happy that she had Jason. That he loved her, and she was able to tell him that she loved him.

After a moment of just standing in each other’s arms, head’s buried in each other’s neck with Jason muttering into her ear just how much she meant to him, they stepped back  to look at the other, and y/n laughed halfheartedly, wiping at her eyes and underneath her nose. Quiet ‘thank you’s were exchanged and they took one last good look at the jellyfish in silence. Y/n suggested they go home, and Jason said he wanted to stop by the gift shop first. Something about how how he needed a polar bear to hold onto at night.

In reality, he bought her the sea otter she wouldn’t stop petting, and a key chain with the date engraved on it. He didn’t give these to her until they were in front of her house, and he reached into the bag behind her seat.

“These are for you.” He said, placing the stuffy on her lap, and the key chain on her open palm. “A memoir. The first time we said I love you... among other things.” 

His tone was serious, mouth set in a grim line, but y/n was smiling.

“I knew something was up when you told me to wait outside. Thank you.” Leaning over the console, they both met each other halfway, and kissed each other goodbye. At the first taste of her lips, he removed his hands from the steering wheel in favor of having them on her face, holding her too him a few seconds longer than she usually would have let herself stay kissing.

“You’re welcome, dovie. I love you.” He said, pecking her lips once more, and then her nose, making her laugh through her nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow, but I’ll call you tonight. Yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, too.” She opened the door, and waved once more at her boyfriend who smiled at her from inside the car.

Y/n was slightly upset over he fact that he hadn’t gotten out to walk her up the steps, and in any other situation, he would’ve. But out of his eagerness, Jason waited until she was inside, and lifted his hips to get his phone out of his pocket, calling the one person he knew would have his back if he wanted to set things straight.

It rang three times before he picked up.

“Andrew. It’s an emergency. Come over to my house tonight. Don’t let anyone see you leave.”

[imaginetonyandbucky]

The Buy In

Chapter 2: Taking Out the Trash

by @dracusfyre

“So who exactly are these cops hassling?” Bucky asked the next day as he met up with a man called Kenton at a bodega on 6th. “The shops? Dealers?”

“The ladies,” Kenton 'call me KT' said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. KT was stocky and short, with an aggressive undercut and stud in his lip, looking more like an emo kid than a mob enforcer. “We don’t have dealers here.”

“Really? None?" When KT nodded, Bucky asked, "How come?”

When KT eyeballed him skeptically, Bucky said, “Look, it’s my first day, alright? I’m not from around here.”

“Everyone knows the boss hates drugs,” KT said, hitting the button for the crosswalk. “Like, hates. A few years ago he tried to run all the dealers out, but they kept coming back like weeds. Too much demand to keep them out for long, you know? So the boss figures, you don’t kill weeds by cutting them down, you kill them at the roots. So he started targeting the users, not the dealers. First, he bought up the local methadone clinic, set up a rehab house nearby, brought in a bunch of fancy docs. Puts the word out that anyone who wants to dry out can stay for free and gets a sweet deal when you get your ninety-day chip.”

Bucky frowned. “I remember that. The mayor cut the ribbon on the facility, right? I thought the city set up that clinic.”

“Ha!” KT said it like that, an actual ha. “The boss let them take credit for it, sure. But it was his idea and his money. Once he got the clinic up and running, he put the word out to all the dealers, making them an offer: sell him all your goods, give him your client list, and you get a new job that pays twice what dealing does.”

“What happens if the dealer doesn’t take the offer?”

“One day they find themselves on a cargo ship to Madagascar,” KT said, matter of fact. “Or Indonesia, or Kamchatka.”  Bucky doubted that but kept it to himself; it was way more likely that the dealers got dumped in the river while Stark’s organization sold the drugs at a markup. But it was a good story. “Stoners can stay if they grow their shit locally,” KT continued, “but the party bros looking for bumps gotta get it somewhere else. But God help them if they make trouble, because the boss sure won’t.”

“Huh,” Bucky said, noncommittal. “So what are we doing today? Waiting for the cops to show their faces again?”

“Pretty much. Gonna talk to the ladies, then we’ll hang around and see if the pigs come back and let them know that their behavior is not appreciated.” A few more blocks down, KT knocked on an unassuming red door and led Bucky into a whole new world. He’d known when KT said ladies that he’d meant prostitutes and had braced himself for the worst: bare mattresses on the ground, barred windows, dull eyes and needle tracks. But what Bucky walked into looked more like the Waldorf than any brothel Bucky’d ever seen during his brief tour on Vice. Bucky tried not to stare as he took in the thick carpet and tasteful furnishings around the room, with women scattered around in groups chatting. Along one side of the room was a classy bar with mahogany wood and brass furnishings that had a few customers already despite the fact it was barely 5:30. KT approached the bartender, a petite but statuesque redhead with pinup curls wearing a corset that had, if Bucky’s eyes weren’t deceiving him, knives where the boning would be.

“Evening, Widow,” KT said, and the bartender gave him a grin as she slid a beer to the man across from her.

“Evening, gents,” she said, voice pure Georgia drawl. “So did the Iron Man himself send someone down to check on his chickadees?”

“Iron Man?” Bucky echoed in confusion. “You mean the Mechanic?”

“You must be new,” she said with amusement, and KT nodded. “He’s got lots of names, honey. He likes getting them and giving them. Bet he gave you a name, didn’t he?” she said, crossing her arms and leaning on the bar to give him an appreciative once-over. The pose made her look like she was going to spill out of her corset; didn’t do a thing for Bucky, but behind them the man with the beer walked into the back of a couch. “What does he call you?”

Ridiculously, Bucky felt his ears get hot. “Blue Eyes,” he said. “Probably like Jimmy Blue Eyes, I guess, but I don't know why. My name's not James.”

“It’s cuz of them pretty blue eyes of yours,” Widow said, and she laughed as Bucky felt the flush spread to his neck. “He must have taken a shine to you.”

“We're here about those cops you mentioned,” KT cut in, giving her cleavage a glance of appreciation but staying all business. “Stop teasing the help and give us the rundown.”

Widow gave Bucky another sultry smile and stood up straight. As she picked up a glass and rag and started polishing, the Georgia peach act fell away; her movements going from languorous to brisk. “Like I said to the boss, it was Rumlow and Rollins again,” she said, and Bucky’s eyebrows went up as even the accent disappeared. “They must think they got a pretty strong krishna to keep coming around here. They’ve got some of the new girls rattled. Came in just the other night trying to get a 'law enforcement discount,'" she said with a sneer, "and the only way we got them out of here without violence is Hawkeye got them too drunk to know if they were coming or going.” Widow tilted her head towards a man at the far end of the bar who looked like he was passed out, hat drawn down low over his eyes. “I wouldn’t have asked for backup if they weren’t cops, but.” She shrugged, and Bucky understood. Low level patsani, or even higher level enforcers, could disappear, but not a cop. “They also wanted a cut of what we pay to the Boss and wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them it didn’t work like that.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked. "Doesn't work like what?"

Widow and KT shared a look. “He’s new,” he reminded her, and Widow smiled.

“Around here you don’t pay up, you buy in,” she said. “You’ll see.” She stepped away to take an order before Bucky could ask another question, so he turned back to KT.

“What are we going to do about the cops when they show up?” Bucky asked. Most times dirty cops got away with shaking down illegal businesses for money because it’s not like a bunch of criminals were going to rat them out to Internal Affairs. “Ask politely?”

“I have a few ideas,” KT said, sounding unconcerned. Bucky waited for him to say something else, but he apparently didn’t seem like sharing, so Bucky grunted and turned to scan the lounge.

While they’d been talking, a few more men, johns, Bucky assumed, had trickled in and were in conversation with the women, each of which were giving every indication that the man they were sitting next to was the funniest and most interesting man in the world. Guess that was one appeal of this place, Bucky thought; a man would never strike out here, and they probably spent good money to maintain the illusion that they were getting laid on their own merits. “Are all of the Boss's brothels like this?”

KT looked around like he was seeing the place for the first time. “Yeah,” he said, lifting one shoulder carelessly. “Boss invests in his people.”

Bucky supposed that made sense. Better margins in higher end prostitution. Still, it was strange to feel like he was hanging out in a hotel bar, complete with tipsy-looking couples disappearing into elevators to hook up. It was after 9 when the cops showed, still, stupidly enough, in uniform. Bucky suppressed the urge to curl his lip in disgust; these guys represented everything Bucky hated about his job, full of arrogance and spite and a thinly veiled hunger for violence. They were bullies, pure and simple, and Bucky hoped he would have a chance to punch one in the face. He could get away with it, too, if he told his superiors it was necessary to maintain his cover.

KT saw them the same time Bucky did; as they came closer to the bar, he slid off his barstool and put himself in their path.

“Who are you supposed to be?” The lead one sneered, looking down at KT, who was a good six inches shorter than the officer. “Are you supposed to be protecting these whores? You?”  Bucky came up behind him to back him up and read the officer’s badge. Rumlow. He memorized his badge number and that of the second officer, Rollins.

“Welcome back, officers,” KT said with a faint smile. “How can we help you?”

“Last time we asked nicely for our money, and we didn’t get it,” Rumlow said, coming closer so he was looming over KT. “We also asked for some trade, and didn’t get that either. We’re not going to ask nicely again.”

“Let me buy you a drink,” KT said, taking a step backward and gesturing towards the bar. “And let’s have a conversation, yeah?”

“We’re not here for no fucking conversation,” Rumlow spat. “We’re here for our money and a good lay, not necessarily in that order.”

“Fine.” KT’s friendly tone disappeared and his posture changed, going from relaxed and open to a coiled, snakelike tension, ready for violence. Bucky had seen that stance before, in his hand to hand combat training class at the academy. “We’ll cut to the chase.” Widow was watching them intently, a throwing knife already in her hand. Movement out of the corner of his eye proved that the man, Hawkeye, wasn’t as passed out as he appeared to be; Bucky could see light reflecting off the barrel of something, aimed at Rumlow. “For you to be coming in here like this, swinging your dick around, two things gotta be true: you must have protection, some fish big enough that you aren’t afraid of the Mechanic, and that big fish knows you’re here and doesn’t care. If that’s the case, then your boss and my boss are going to have problems. But if either of those things is not true, you are in a world of shit.”

At that, Rollins stole an uneasy glance at Rumlow, who was still trying to stare down KT. It was quick, but it gave the game away – and KT knew it, because suddenly he smiled and relaxed, which made Rumlow scowl harder. “Busted,” he said. “It’s not going to be hard to find out who your protection is, officers. And I don’t think they are going to be happy that you are picking fights with the Mechanic. Am I right?”

“Fuck you,” Rumlow snarled, and swung at KT. But the smaller man was ready, and KT stepped to one side of the swing, then grabbed Rumlow’s wrist and pulled at the same time that he put a hand on the back of his head and shoved, sending the man stumbling. Textbook judo move, to Bucky's eyes. As his partner got his feet under him again, Rollins went for his gun but Bucky already had his hand on it, shoving back down into its holster.

“Let’s keep it a fair fight,” Bucky said in a low voice, and Rollins listened because Bucky’s other hand had a knife slid up under the bottom edge of his bullet proof vest.

“Don’t make this any worse than it already is,” KT was saying, Rumlow’s face bright red with fury. “The Boss will let bygones be bygones if you leave now and don’t come back, but if blood gets shed...” He shook his head.

Rumlow’s face was red and Bucky could tell that he was furious at having been humiliated by someone smaller and lighter than him. Bucky was afraid that he would go for his pistol, but instead he put his hands up like he was in a boxing ring. KT smiled faintly and just made a “come here,” gesture, and that’s when Bucky knew he was trying to piss him off. And it worked; Rumlow lunged, swinging with a tight haymaker that would easily have broken KT’s jaw.

If it had connected, that is. But instead of trying to block, KT dropped to one knee, ducking under the swing, and hit Rumlow in the dick with an elbow as he scooped his leg and stood, throwing Rumlow to the ground where he curled around himself, cursing incoherently with pain.

Bucky whistled long and low, smothering a laugh. KT laid that asshole out in seconds. He released Rollins and said, “You can have your turn now, if you want.”

“That’s assault on an officer,” Rollins snarled, trying to help Rumlow to his feet. “I should haul you down to the station for that.”

“Your buddy clearly started it,” Bucky said. “It’s not like you don’t have witnesses. I’d get out of here before he does anything worse.” Bucky didn’t know if it was the fact that Rumlow still couldn’t stand up straight or the way that everyone was staring at them, but Rollins seemed to know good advice when he heard it, because they did leave, shouting threats the entire way.

“Did you get all that?” KT called out after the door slammed shut behind them, heading back to the bar where the Widow’s knife had disappeared like she’d never drawn it in the first place.

“Every second,” Hawkeye rumbled, sitting up. The barrel that Bucky had seen was a high-end camera lens, not a gun; he’d been videotaping the whole encounter. “Uploading it to YouTube now. That should get them off the streets for a while.”

“That’s how the Boss likes to settle things,” KT said with satisfaction. When he noticed Bucky looking at him with confusion, he said, “Listen here, because this is important: the Boss doesn’t like us to kill people. We don’t do this whole ‘send our guy to the hospital, we send your guy to the morgue’ thing, got it? We send them to the poorhouse. The poor bastard gets so tied up in lawsuits, repossessions, revoked passports, suspended licenses, and investigations that he wishes he were dead. Then the Boss goes after the poor bastard’s boss, and that boss’s boss…mobsters, dons, whatever you want to call them, they don’t mind dying, but they never, ever want to be broke. You start threating their bottom line and they pay attention.”

“Seriously?” Bucky said skeptically. Stark’s file said that he had plenty of blood on his hands.

“Seriously. You might get a pass if you don’t start it, but if it happens again, he cuts you loose, and believe me, it doesn’t take the cops long to track you down. They are hungry for anything they can get on the Boss.”

“You don't say,” Bucky said blandly. "So now what do we do?"

"We're going to stick around until the ladies close up shop, make sure those two don't get any bright ideas to circle back." KT pulled out his phone and started typing in it as he got back on his barstool where the ice in his drink had barely had time to melt. "Hawkeye usually makes sure the clientele behave themselves, so you can have a drink, but don't proposition any of the ladies while you're working."

"Right." What a strange goddamn way to run a criminal enterprise. After a moment, Bucky took a seat beside him and accepted a drink menu from the Widow, whose mouth was curling like she could read Bucky's thoughts. 

"You'll get used to it, Blue Eyes," she said. "I got a good feeling about you."

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid

Pairing: Klance: Keith Kogane/Lance Mcclain

Tags: Vamp Lance | Klutz Lance | Idiot Keith | Shiro & Keith are adopted brothers | Enemies to idiots( ...I mean) | Enemies to idiots | Mentioned mpreg | Lance isn’t a full vampire( but keith is a full idiot) | Idiot Lance | Paranormal Investigators Pidge & Hunk | Hunk is a scaredy cat | Lance has a black cat name Blue | Fluffy bits | Lance is 44 | Hunk is 24 | Pidge is 22 | Keith is 26 | Shiro is 30 | Bottom Lance! | Vampire dynamics are a bit whack | Smutty bits | Mentions of men making babies | Lance might be a vamp but it turns out he’s useless | Lance’s mum’s name is Miriam | Papi Jorge | Keith is a special flower | Comin’ at ya in bite sized pieces | Fluffy dumbarsery with some tears | Slow build because they’re stupid heads | BOM are hunters | Shiro & Lance are lowkey bros | Keith’s got issues( but he’s got trauma to work through...that’s why he’s repetitive) | Updating tags to include mgreg themes | Not beta-ed | If pining was an Olympic sport these fools would share gold | Langst | Klangst | Hurt and comfort | 

Summary: Lance has lived a pretty simple life since being turned into a vampire. He’s got his house, his cat, and his two besties that have no idea he’s a vampire thanks to his awesome acting skills... He thought he was happy, that things were fine, that he wasn’t drawing too much attention to himself... and then he met Keith.Big, dumb, hot, emo, stupid Keith. Keith that went and flipped his life upside down, because, seriously, Keith really was a special kind of stupid.Vampire Lance x Vampire Hunter Keith

READ ON AO3

People sucked. People truly, madly, unequivocally, completely and totally sucked. That’s why Lance had brought his farmhouse outside a the tiny speck of a town barely found on most maps. He hadn’t lead a particularly long life, at least not when compared to others suffering from the same condition as he had, yet in his short time, he’d come to hate people. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t hate everyone. He had two best friends that meant the world to him, Pidge and Hunk. Both paranormal investigators, and both blind to his unusualness. No. What Lance held issue with was the continued hunting of his kind by the Vatican. His “ancestors” may have bathed in blood, and sacrificed virgins, all that kind of hooky-huha that one reads in scary stories, but before he’d been made a vampire, he liked to think he’d been a happy enough well liked kid, and he liked to think that even these days he still carried an air of that charm whenever he was forced from his home.

Garrison was a tiny town 50kms away from Platt City, founded during the Third World War, the city held plenty of ghostly secrets which had drawn both Hunk and Pidge to the area. Boasting a single Main Street, the highlights of the town were limited to tourist traps and three pubs on the Main Street. It was while studying at Platt University that he’d met both his best friends, twenty years his juniors, yet thanks to his unwanted immortality his body had stopped maturing roughly around the age of 18, making it easy to join the crowded university with a few falsified papers. His intention was to refresh his legal skills in order to keep up with the time’s. With the help of his Mami, he’d moved somewhere small and private, to a dead beat town that accepted weirdness as an everyday occurrence thanks to the tourists that came to see the ghosts of soldiers passed. When he’d been a kid, he’d always dreamed of being an astronaut, yet had chosen law to help those less fortunate in some kind of redemption for his condition. Being immortal meant keeping up with the times, though his house retained much of its old “Victorian” charm. Plus, with Platt being so close, it made for an easy drive up there every three weeks to pick up new blood bags. He was in no way a stereotypical vampire other than his need for blood. He wore glasses, because his eyesight was so good his mind couldn’t process everything he was seeing. This came with the unfortunate side effect of being clumsy as hell. He’d come from a Catholic family, meaning he believed in the presence of God. He’d also never drunk from a human, and never taken a human as pet or a lover like some did. When he wasn’t tagging along with Pidge and Hunk to ensure they didn’t accidentally summon something nasty, most of his time was devoted to providing low cost family legal advise.

Perhaps because he hadn’t been born a vampire, he’d retained many of his human ways. Sunlight didn’t turn him to ashes. Garlic gave him pretty bad stomach cramps and indigestion, which could be fobbed off with the excuse of an allergy. Silver gave him hives, again, something that could be passed off as an allergic reaction. He refused to harm animals for blood. He refused to bite another human, despite the fact a bite wouldn’t turn one anyway. They needed to be drinking his blood for that to happen, and after how he’d been turned, there was no way he’d ever do that to a mortal. He showed up in photographs, though his eyes always came out red instead of their usual bright blue. Mirrors weren’t exactly his friend, but not because he couldn’t see himself, instead because he hated seeing himself. They didn’t magically show his “vampire face”, instead they reminded him he’d never grow old. At the ripe age of 44 he looked 18. Even when he turned 100, he’d still look 18. It was thoroughly depressing. Unlike some vampires he didn’t have a coven, or a pack. His house only held him and his cat Blue, who he’d found as a tiny kitten under the steps leading up to the porch. She’s was black, fluffy, and an absolute princess in his eyes. Other than the general upkeep of his house, blood costs and the very occasional splurge on new clothes, most of the money he made went to spoiling his little princess. He wasn’t sure if Blue was part vampire, her teeth had always been sharp, as kitten he’d dug her out by the scruff of the neck, her tiny little teeth were far too cute as they buried themselves into his hand. She’d never acted like she was, but she also preferred to stay inside and had a personality that rivalled some of the most twisted “Queen” vamps he’d met. Then again, everyone knew cats were temperamental arseholes, so maybe Blue was simply being the snobby cow she was born to be.

All in all, Lance had nothing to complain about in his life. He was happy, content, safe in the knowledge no one about to ruin that anytime soon.

*

Pulling into the parking lot of their usual dive, Sal’s burgers wasn’t the most popular place in town, making it the perfect place to hang out. Located 10kms out of town on the road to Platt City, seemingly an inconvenience the locals, most of Sal’s customers came from tourists needing to stop because their kids needed the toilet. A few of the older locals had dedicated seats at the service bar, and maybe one or twice a week people spiced it up from their usual coffee shops on Main Street, but all in all, the lack of customers is what Lance loved about it. The whole place looked as if the 50’s had left it behind, from its pastel pink exterior to the cheesy green and silver breakfast stools at the c go heck board service bar. From his parking space he could already see Pidge and Hunk waiting for him in their usual booth. Hunk’s head thrown back as he laughed at something, probably at Pidge’s expense.

Cutting the engine, Lance grabbed up his wallet, phone, and gloves. He wasn’t exactly the warmest of people to begin with, but this freezing weather was likely to turn him into an undead popsicle. Already dressed in his favourite khaki jacket, Lance did a quick double check pat down before climbing out his battered blue four wheel drive. She was old, had one too many rust spots and didn’t like starting on days like today, but he’d had her since he’d graduated college the first time around. His Mami was always nagging at him to get rid of her, to use some of his money to buy something better, something that didn’t have roll down windows and a dodgy CD player. His first car was his first real taste of freedom after being turned. They’d been through a lot together, leaving him unable to say goodbye to her. That’d be like cutting him own arm off.

Sal gave him a wave as Lance walked in, the man was a teddy bear under his perpetual 5 o’clock shadow and greasy apron. His policy seemed to be that if someone couldn’t respect him like this, they weren’t worth his respect in return

“Hey’a there, Lance. Pull up a seat and I’ll bring your usual over”

“Thanks, Sal. You’re the best!”

Sal grumbled, Lance pretending he didn’t hear every low word about him. Bringing up that Sal secretly liked him well enough would only leave the old man flustered. For the sake of their “friendship”, he played along with Sal’s mumbling translating into how much of a pain he was. With a bounce in his step, Lance headed over to Pidge and Hunk, throwing himself into the booth as he wrapped his arms around Hunk

“Lance!”

“It’s soooo cold! Warm me up!”

Hunk hugged him back

“I’ve got you, bro! You’re freezing...”

“And you’re late. You were supposed to be here half an hour ago”

Lance sighed dramatically as he rolled his eyes at his favourite tech gremlin

“You know how she gets in cold weather”

“Who? There better not be anything and wrong with my Princess”

“Pidge, you should know by now that when Lance talks like that, he’s talking about his car... right?”

Lance grinned

“Of course I’m talking about my girl. And my Princess is perfectly happy. Blue was curled up under my blankets when I left”

Pidge pouted at him

“You could have brought her with you. I miss my Blue cuddles”

“You could try coming by the house. She was in a mood when I left”

Lance had a backpack carrier for her, but Blue would have frozen her perfect little toe beans out in the weather today. He’d left the heated blanket on a timer for her, unable to keep from spoiling his princess. Pidge’s hand left her laptop keyboard to grab her mug of coffee

“But your house is soooo far away. Anyway, we’re here to talk about work. I was on this forum last night, and someone swore they met a werewolf. Can you imagine? Hunk told me to stop scaring him”

Hunk... Hunk was the biggest ray of sunshine Lance had ever met. The poor man got every single form of motion sickness know, but that never once stopped him. He was terrified of ghost stories, not the best constitution to have when one is a ghost hunter... No, paranormal investigator. He’d been told there was a difference, but honestly it all sounded the same. People loved to think of the unknown, that world existing just out of their everyday mundane lives. Having been in that world for as long as he had been, Lance would happily pay for a boring mundane life

“I wasn’t scared... I’m... cautious”

Pidge clucked at Hunk, Hunk flipping her off. Laughing at him, Pidge wasn’t easily swayed

“You’re a chicken. What about you, Lance? Do you believe in werewolves?”

Werewolves were dicks. He’d bumped into a few over the years, and they’d done nothing to persuade him that they weren’t. The only thing they had going for them was their commitment to their mates and family, other than that, they were testosterone filled morons with claws.

“I don’t know... I feel like they’d all be too stupid to hide their existence”

“Wolves are incredibly smart... Fine, let’s put that one the back burner. Now, about work, there’s a group of tourists that want to come through the old hospital. The visitors centre in town gave me a call about it. Apparently they pay reeeeeeally well”

They’d have to. The old hospital was “cursed”. It’d been converted into a professional centre, but three years after the renovations they closed the building down thanks to the high number of injuries. If there were ghosts there, it was doubtful they’d care to bother with the employees. They all had their own issues. Lance held the opinion it was more a spate of psychosomatic symptoms resulting from the first accident. The building had been handed back over to the town, where it’d sat empty until it reopened as a military museum. With a bored sigh, Lance resigned himself to the fact that Pidge had already gone ahead and decided this was happening. Patting Hunk on the arm, the big man let him go

“When is this all supposed to be happening?”

Pidge’s eyes twinkled with mischief. Lance loved that about her. The top of her head barely came to his chin, but her pint sized stature didn’t stop her. She was always up for a laugh, and frightfully adapt with all things technology based. One of their first conversations came about because Lance had dropped his phone down the stairwell, smashing the screen as it bounced. Seeing her notice pinned up at the campuses cafe, he’d reached out to her with no idea they’d still be besties so many years later. From memory she had an older brother who was as much of a nerd as she was, while her mother and her father both worked in some private sector. He’d met them once over a family dinner Pidge dragged him to, seen them half a dozen times on their front steps as Pidge fled from their parental yelling, and finally been stuck in a very awkward conversation with Pidge’s father, Sam, when he’d found Bae-Bae, the missing family dog who Pidge had brought along on one of their ghost hunts

“Tonight. We’ve got permission to start once the museum shuts for the day. The tour starts at 8, so we’ll go in, set up, have something to eat, then scare the shit out of them at 8”

“You didn’t tell me it’s tonight!”

Poor Hunk. His poor heart had no time to come to terms with this. His worrying only made Pidge smile wider

“Relax, it’ll be fiiiine. Lance is coming with us. He’ll protect you from anything spooky”

“Why do I have to protect you? What are you going to do? Sue the ghosts for giving you the heebie-jeebies? Sorry, that’s not my specialty”

Pidge slid her glasses down to the tip of her nose as she puffed her chest out

“Ha, he, ho, I’m Lance and I have a fancy law degree! Those ghosts better think twice before looking at me”

Lance laughed way too hard, tears leaking out the corners of his eyes, his black frame glasses nearly falling off. Pidge pushing her glasses back into place as Sal brought over Lance’s pancakes and coffee. The man simply placing them down before backing away without a word

“Oh my god, Pidge. That was awful”

“It wasn’t that awful. So, Hunk, you’re in snacks for the night. Lance is in charge of driving, and I’m in charge of the tech. What are we forgetting?”

“That we value our lives and don’t really want to do this?”

Pidge sank lower in her seat, a soft thud coming as Hunk gasped in pain

“What was that for?!”

“Being a chicken”

“I’m not a chicken”

“Are too...”

Picking up his fork, Lance calmly cut in on their fight

“Children, don’t make me seperate the pair of you. Hunk, you’re big, brave, and very manly. Pidge, you’re so fucking short you couldn’t even covertly kick him under the table. If we’re going out, I need to stop by home on the way. Blue needs her wet food for the night, and no, she’s not coming tonight. It’s going to storm as it is”

Crossing her arms, Pidge slumped back in her seat

“You just want to keep my Princess all to yourself. Hunk can leave his car here and we’ll take yours”

“I thought my house was too far away to visit?”

“It’s not when you’re the one driving. Hurry up and finish your pancakes, I wanna go already”

Lance looked down at the forkful he’d been about to load in his mouth, purposely cutting the stack in half to annoy Pidge. Scoffing down Sal’s pancakes was an insult to the man who’d made cigarette ash in pancakes edible. The lack of hygiene may have been another reason why the locals stayed away, but when you’re immortal, standards kind of went out the window

“Laaaaance. Nooo. What are you doing?”

“Enjoying my breakfast. Order another coffee... actually, order some warm milk, I can see you practically vibrating from the amount of caffeine in our bloodstream”

“I’ll have you know that the level of blood in my caffeine stream is just fine. Plus, you’re like the only person in the world who enjoys Sal’s pancakes!”

“Oi! I heard that, Katie Holt!”

Pidge ducked down further in her seat at Sal’s voice. A couple of regulars laughing at her embarrassment, as Pidge blushed

“Now look what you’ve done”

“Not my problem, Pidgeroonie”

“Watch your back, I’m going to get you tonight, then steal away Blue”

Lance shrugged, unfazed by her threat. Tonight would be another lame arse tour under the belt, the most exciting thing they could expect was some jump scare.

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[bakugou-tm]

a scenario where bakugou ends up having a kid at 17 or smth and decides he doesn't want the baby so he breaks up w/ his gf and they meet again in 10 years and bakugous a prohero and his ex is doing her thing maybe?? sorry thats super long qwq

Of course! This one will be a lil angsty so be prepared. Sorry for such a long wait!

You sat in his room, ready to give the big news. While you preferred to have the whole class here to celebrate the wonderful occasion you knew how much your boyfriend hated big events.

Instead you opted for a more closed off area to tell Katsuki of his future child, of course it was far from planned but after talking to his best friend Kirishima, the two of you decided now was the time to tell him.

“Good luck (s/o), tell me how it goes!” Kirishima said with a big grin before leaving you and your rising nerves alone in the room.

Everything would be fine right? You knew it wasn’t planned but you weren’t upset, you had your future child inside you how could you not be happy. He would be happy… right?

A loud bang of the door blew your thoughts away as your eyes shot up to the door to see your sweating boyfriend, he must’ve been training.

“Bakugou! How was your training?” You asked with a smile offering him a water which he snatched from you gratefully.

“Intense. But I kicked everyone’s ass so it doesn’t matter.” Bakugou hissed before taking a long gulp of his water, looking you up and down.

Something was up.

“Why the fuck are you here anyway? I thought you go out with your friends on Friday’s.” Bakugou questioned, using his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

Taking a gulp of your own saliva you inhaled before smiling, “Well.. I had some exciting news to tell you so I skipped girls night.” 

“Wow you skipped a night of shopping to tell me something? This ought to be fucking good.”

You laughed sheepishly before standing up straighter, the white piece of plastic you were hiding behind you holding the big news you were about to tell.

“Well.. we’ve been together for a long time and while this wasn’t planned-”

“What the fuck are you hiding behind your back?” Bakugou questioned, his crimson eyes narrowing to you suspiciously.

“I’m going to get to that just one second.” You said, your eye twitching in annoyance every time he interrupted.

“Oh for fucks sake what is it?” Bakugou growled, storming over to you as he shoved your arm to him and ripped the object from your grasp.

Your eyes widened at the sudden movement, giving you no time to explain so you just went for it. “I’m pregnant!”

Bakugou just looked down to the pregnancy test, his face showing no emotion. You blinked at his blank response, putting your hand on his shoulder with a big grin.

“Katsuki don’t you get it! I’m pregnant with your baby! We’re going to have a family.” You said with a joyful smile, assuming he just didn’t understand what you were showing him.

“Are you fucking serious?” 

Your smile fell for a second hearing his bitter tone of voice, was he… mad?

“You know I’ve been working to be a hero for all my life and you get pregnant?” Bakugou hissed, his red eyes now glaring to you.

You felt as if you had been punched in the gut, all air seeming to come out of your lungs, “O..Of course it wasn’t planned but…”

“Obviously fucking not! You couldn’t remember to take your birth control pills (s/o) really? You didn’t care that much that you ruined my dream with this!” Bakugou growled, throwing the pregnancy test across the room, the plastic slamming against the wall causing you to flinch.

“K..Katsuki… I thought you would be happy!” You cried back, tears beginning to stream down your face as your arms began to shake.

This couldn’t be happening.

Bakugou laughed bitterly as he ran his fingers through his hair a fumbled mess, “Happy? Really (s/o) you thought ruining my career would make me fucking happy?” 

You hadn’t noticed how your breathing had begun to grow deep and heavy, as if your lungs were to collapse at any moment. How could he say this to you? He was blaming you for ruining his life?

“After all we’ve been through Bakugou, are you serious?” You questioned, tears streaming down your face as you grabbed his hand in one final act to snap him out of this trance he seemed to be in.

“I think you should go.” Bakugou hissed, snatching his arm out of your grasp.

Your (e/c) eyes widened in horror at his words, three years of being together and all she needed to do was have their kid to tear it all apart.

“Fine.” You whispered, grabbing your bag as you stormed to the door, warm angry tears strolling down your face, “Sorry I ruined your fucking life Katsuki, I’ll just get out of it forever so you don’t have to worry about it.” You hissed coldly shooting him a final glare before slamming the door behind you.

The ash blond just stared at the door feeling warm tears threaten to spill from his own eyes, fists clenched.

“Damn it!”

______________________

Six Years Later

______________________

“So how’s it going at your hotshot agency Bakugou? Being in the center of Japan must be chaotic.”

Bakugou let out an exhausted sigh as him and his three former classmates walked around the city park. He had seen Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero on the news plenty of times since they were all pro heroes at the same agency but never in person since he had been signed with the number one agency in the world.

“Yeah I bet it feels to finally live up to your name, Number One Hero in the world!” Kirishima said with a grin elbowing the ash blond.

Even though he had a better control of his temper than he did as a kid, this didn’t stop Bakugou from rolling his eyes and glaring to his friend.

“It’s going fine, you shouldn’t be so fucking surprised that I’m the number one hero.”

“We’re just messing with you bro, it’s just been so long since we’ve seen you.” Sero said, running his hands through his black hair.

Bakugou nodded rubbing his own pale cheeks as they walked down the smooth sidewalk, “Yeah I was pretty shocked when my agency gave me a break, I’ve been working so damn much it feels weird to be off my schedule.”

“Well we’re glad you’re back Bakubro, the rest of the class is down here too we should grab dinner together or something.” Kirishima said, the boys nodding in agreement.

The ash blond remained quiet as the boys explained how their life had been the past few years, reflecting on how his life was.

He had it all. Dream job, plenty of money, tons of fans, even the title he had been dreaming of his own life: Number One Hero in the world.

But something in him always felt empty, digging at his skin every night and he just hated it. While he understood he had never truly been in touch with his feelings, still he couldn’t pin point what it was. And since he was too prideful to ever admit this insecurity, he kept letting it eat at his soul ever since it began.

It was beginning to drive him insane.

“Well look what we have here boys.” Kaminari said in a mischievous tone, catching Bakugou’s attention as he looked over to what he was talking about.

A group of women doing what Bakugou assumed was yoga in the middle of the park, each of them doing a weird pose on colorful mats.

“What do you say we hit them with some of our charm and good looks? Just like the good old days.” Kaminari said with a grin, Bakugou just rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on bro, they’re totally digging us! Look at them giggling like a bunch of school girls. We are famous y’know.” Sero said with a grin, the ash blond did take notice that a few of them were staring and pointing at the four boys.

“Maybe we could invite them to dinner with us tonight! I can’t wait to see Mina’s face when she sees me with a lady.” Kirishima said wiggling his eyebrows.

“Dibs on the blond one!” Kaminari shouted, causing a sharp whine to escape Sero’s lips as the three darted over to the group pushing and shoving.

Bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed at his former classmates, “Idiots.”

The last thing he wanted to do was walk into a group of fan girls who were going to act like little puppies begging for attention, he had to deal with that enough at work. 

Instead he decided to go to a drink stand and buy a water, he was going to be here all day after all since his friends were terrible at flirting. He wasn’t about to fry in the sun without some sort of refreshment. 

Walking back to a tree to sit under he uncapped the lid and brought it to his lips taking a long sip until something quick bumped into him causing him to spill the cold drink all over his shirt and whoever had just run into him.

“Oi what the hell was that? Watch where you’re fucking goi…” Bakugou’s words froze when he saw the familiar eyes looking up to him furiously.

“Did you not see me running across the field you complete… B..Bakugou?” Your angry words came to a stop when you saw those crimson eyes looking back down to you.

Bakugou couldn’t find words, instead he let his eyes do the work. While most of your features stayed the same, you were still very different. Your (s/c) face grew more mature and you were at least to the height of his nose now compared to your short form before. Your (h/c) was tied up into a neat ponytail and you wore just a sports bra and leggings, you must have been doing yoga with the group of women. 

“Wow (s/o).” Bakugou muttered, coughing a bit as he quickly put the lid back on his water, “It’s been a long time huh?”

You inhaled blinking for a second before nodding slowly, still not processing what was happening. “Yeah I guess it has.. you look good.”

“Yeah yeah, you do too. Are you a pro hero now or-”“I went into law, it was easier on me than my previous passion.” You cut him off with a grim expression, his guilty eyes shooting to the ground showed that he knew exactly what you meant.

“Oh wow, that’s still cool.” Bakugou responded shortly, so many different emotions flowing through his mind at once, but he wasn’t prepared for the next events that were about to unfold.

“Mommy! Mommy! You’re finished!” A small feminine voice squeaked, followed by a little girl running to you as you smiled arms wide.

Bakugou’s crimson eyes were opened wide, is throat suddenly dry. He felt as if he had sucker punched in the gut and he couldn’t breath. 

The girl had her mother’s face without a doubt but her ash blond hair and bright crimson eyes pierced into his own, for a second he thought he had seen himself. 

“Katsumi, my love.” You said in a warm tone as you lifted up the small girl in your arms and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Bakugou’s chest squeezed again, as if someone punched him again multiple times in the gut, “K…Katsumi?”

She named her… after him?

“Oh right, this is our… my daughter Katsumi.” You mumbled, forcing a smile as the small girl looked to Bakugou tilting her head.

“Mommy who is this strange man. He looks creepy.” Katsumi said slapping him away causing you to snort as you grabbed her hand quickly.

“Katsumi what did I say about hitting people! Only in self defense.” You said in as stern of a voice you could but you couldn’t help the giggles that slipped your mouth when Bakugou stared to her with shocked eyes.

“Wow she’s… she’s beautiful.” Bakugou croaked, feeling as if someone had just smacked a frying pan against his head. He swore his vision was going blurry.

“(s/o) c’mon! We need to get to the mall before it gets to crowded!” A young girl called to you, you gave her a thumbs up before looking back to Bakugou.

“It was uhm… I’m glad to see you’re doing okay.” You finally managed to say, a smile forcing onto your lips as you began to turn away with your daughter until a firm hand grabbed your wrist causing your head to dart back confused.

“(s/o) we need to talk, now.” Bakugou said sternly, his eyes nodding holding their usual angry look. Instead they held a desperate sort of look.

“Bakugou I…” You whispered, your (e/c) eyes beginning to grow warm as he looked at you his grip growing tighter on your wrist in a gentle manner.

“Please.”

With a defeated sigh you set down Katsumi, “Go on with Mrs. Lynn cutie, I’ll meet you two at the car.” You said softly, ruffling her ash blond hair as she nodded and ran off to your friend.

“Spit it out now Katsuki, I don’t have all day.” You muttered to the boy as you folded your arms, refusing to make eye contact.

His first name rolling off your tongue felt like a slap to the face, especially in the cold tone you gave him. Even though it had been six years it felt like just yesterday…

“Look (s/o) I am so sorry..” Bakugou muttered, his eyes looking down to your face with guilt written across his own, “When we were at UA I… I just had a one track mind and I thought that you were trying to sabotage me.”

Your (e/c) eyes glared to his, your mouth dropping, “Sabotage you? Are you serious? I thought I was giving you the best gift you ever could ask for! I was willing to take care of her and you told me I ruined your life!”

“I know (s/o), I was so fucking stupid I get that.” Bakugou growled, his stern voice already turning you off from the conversation and he took notice, growing angrier by the second as he felt warm tears threaten to spill from his eyes.

“(s/o) listen. I understand that you are pissed at me, you have every damn right to. I was a fucking asswipe and I let my own pride distract me from what was really important.” Bakugou spoke, you pretended not to listen but you couldn’t help but hear the meaningful words escape his lips.

“In all honesty these past few years have been awful. I’ve gotten everything I could’ve dreamed of and I still feel so… so…” Bakugou began to choke up on his words, gritting his teeth, “So fucking empty!”

Your (e/c) eyes looked up to his own in shock, he had never spoken to you like this. You had never even seen him cry, let alone be so vulnerable in front of you.

“I’ve been so damn miserable, I have made so many shitty decisions but this one…” Bakugou whispered, finally building up the courage to look at you, “After seeing you for the first time and your… our beautiful fucking daughter. The daughter I abandoned, the daughter I left you to sufferer with alone, the beautiful fucking daughter that you raised all by yourself.” 

Your heart began to melt seeing the steaming tears running down his cheeks, not even noticing the ones falling down your own (s/c) cheeks.

“I don’t care if you don’t forgive me, but I will be damned if I don’t tell you how fucking sorry I am. I threw away the best thing that has ever happened to me and I deserve every bit of misery I’ve faced these past years.” Bakugou cried, staring into your eyes with such intensity it made you freeze in place as he grabbed your hands.

“I am so sorry (s/o), thank you for raising such a beautiful little girl.” Bakugou croaked, squeezing your hands tightly before letting go, wiping away at his face as he heard your friend begin to call for you again.

“Sorry I ran into you, I’ll let you get going now.” The ash blond muttered, beginning to turn around until you grabbed his arm firmly and yanked him around before smashing your lips against his own.

His own crimson eyes stared down to you in shock and confusion until he didn’t even care why you were kissing him. Without questioned he grabbed your waist pulling you close to him and grabbed a handful of your soft (h/c) hair in his hands. He took in every piece of you he had been craving these past years.

You kept your shaking arms gripped tight onto his shirt to bring him closer before pulling away, both of you panting at the intensity of your kiss.

“I don’t know… if I can ever be with you again.” You whispered, your (e/c) eyes looking up to his own that were staring down to you in such a loving way.

“But after hearing your words, I know you aren’t lying to me when you say you’re sorry.” You admit, running your fingers through his ash blond hair.

“I meant every fucking word I spoke and I’ll repeat as many times as you need me to.” Bakugou breathed out, not wanting to let you go before you rested a finger on his lips to hush him.

“So I think I am willing to give you a chance, but don’t expect me to move quick. This will take time.” You muttered, letting out a quiet sniffle.

Bakugou laughed, his eyes blinking out tears as he lifted you up and spun you around letting out delirious laughs.

“You won’t regret this (s/o)! You can take as long as you need.” Bakugou said, setting you back down to the ground as you let out soft laughs before he cupped your face firmly, “I will wait for you until I am a fucking dinosaur, whenever you are ready I will be hear for you… to support my family.” 

Your lips curled into a smile as you wiped your face and held onto his hand, “You can start with a nice dinner, you have my number.”

Leaving a soft kiss on his cheek you let go of his hand and began to walk away waving to the boy, trying to calm your puffing red face down. “Goodbye Katsuki.”

The ash blond just stood their, watching your form walk away as a wide grin spread across his face. That empty feeling in his heart, the sickening feeling that had been eating away at him felt like it just disappeared. Now he just stood dumbfounded in the middle of the sidewalk, his shirt soaked from the water he had spilt along with his puffy eyes.

“What happened to you? You look like you just won the lottery.” Kirishima called from behind him, turning his gaze to you.

Bakugou just smiled, an unfamiliar sight for his three friends.

“I just won something even better.”

[ramblinganthropologist]

Gift Exchange

Summary: Shit, shit, shit, what do you even get a Turian for Valentine’s Day? Does this even look like food? Alistair Shepard is at a loss for words and a crunch for time as a different type of V-Day looms. Will the object of his affection enjoy it, or is he going to be spending some floor time by the drive core? Only  time can tell. Also RIP Titus Vibrius for taking one for the team. Good job, bro. Garrus appreciates it. Word count: 1815

---

“Uncle Al, does this look right?”

“I'm going to be completely honest with you, Kelly. I have no idea.”

It looked... brown. Maybe? Hell if he knew. Alistair frowned as he stared down into the pan set in front of him, prodding it with the spoon his niece had advised him her father used the most. To him, it looked gross.

But it wasn't for him, so maybe that was good?

Down on the floor, Spectre meowed for attention and rubbed up against his leg. She was still trying to get treats, despite how many Kelly had given her upon arriving home from school. The greedy little thing was going to get fat at this rate, and she knew it. There was something in those eyes that told him so.

Right, this was why he liked space hamsters.

“The recipe says we need to cool it on the counter for twenty minutes before cutting it.” Kelly continued squinting at the translated recipe. “But... it says to triple the time if you're not on Palaven.”

Yeah, because radiation was so great for setting sweets. Turians were fucking weird.

“Better listen to the recipe then.” Alistair reached down to pat her head. “Don't  you have some homework to do?”

Her groans caused him to laugh as they left the kitchen for their treats to cool. The calendar they passed reminded them both it was February 13. The day after was circled in red and something was scribbled in. What, he hadn't paid attention, but luckily he wasn't the one babysitting for it.

He kind of had plans on his own.

“Hopefully he likes it.” Alistair frowned as he sat down on the couch. Spectre curled up next to him while her owner went off to retrieve her school books. All of this still felt so new to him that he didn't really know what to expect.

Hell, he'd never even done this for a human before. How would a Turian react to Valentine's Day candy?

“You think it'll be ok, Spec?” He nudged the mass of black fur in the side to get her attention. All he got in return was a lazy swipe of her paw, claws in for once. She had sated her fill for blood lust two days ago when he had first showed up, and the bandages on his ankles proved it. At least she hadn't gone for the face this time.

They were still making fun of him for that back on the Normandy.

Alistair sighed as he looked down at his omni-tool. An hour ago, Tali had been giving him advice that had fallen somewhat flat. Right next to her message was Mordin's concerning dietary differences. Either he had misunderstood the question, or he had gotten lost in his train of thought and hit send. Given the fact it was at least three or four pages, both were likely.

“I just needed a straight answer. All I needed. Ia that too much to ask?” He sighed again and closed his eyes. No more messages were coming and all he had left to do was wait. But he wanted to do anything but, and it was creating an uncomfortable static in the pit of his stomach that felt like his implant going haywire. Only this was all natural, all him, and all encompassing.

How did normal people even do this dating thing? Was that even what they were doing?

He would have stayed there like a bump on a log sulking – wait, not sulking, he was perfectly fine thank you very much – but the beeping from his omni-tool drew his attention. There was a new message waiting for him, and the sender made his heart skip a beat.

What did Garrus want?

Heart still fluttering, Alistair opened it and scanned through. Without realizing it, he started reading aloud. “You'll be back by the 14th, right? Pretty sure Jack and Miranda might kill each other if you stay any longer.”

His heart dropped to his shoes. Now Alistair really was sulking as he tapped out a quick response – yes, make sure they don't get anything pointy – and sent it out with a sigh. Now he was back and alone with his thoughts. If that hadn't been the proverbial kick in the teeth, he didn't know what else was.

“A-are you alright?”

A translated voice caused him to turn his head. There was a Turian standing in the doorway with a very excited elementary student attached to his legs, telling him about her day. She was keeping him from walking, so no doubt he had meant to ask for help.

“Oh, sorry, Titus. I'm fine.” Alistair didn't really mind his brother-in-law much. They didn't really interact. “Wait... shit you're a Turian!”

Titus gave him a look over Kelly's cheerful cry of “That's ten credits for the swear jar!” but at least had the grace not to be too hard on him. Instead, he managed to pry the human growth from his leg and into his arms where there was easier movement.

“I di- uh, I didn't know that. Thank you, Alistair.”

Now Alistair was blushing in embarrassment. “Sorry, I uh... I need your help.”

He gestured towards the kitchen where his creation was still cooling. “In the culinary field.”

Judging from the look he was getting, this was going to need some explanation. Alistair fought back the burgeoning headache with a reminder of who it was for. He hoped that Garrus was going to appreciate this, because it was going to take some effort.

Next time, if there was one, he was just going to buy it.

---

“I'm an idiot, Tali.”

“You're also in the middle of the floor, Shepard.”

Alistair sighed from his spot on the floor a little too near the drive core. He had only been back on the Normandy for about an hour, and already he wished he was somewhere else entirely. Since they were in the middle of space, there wasn't many options as to where else to go. Maybe he could find a nice air duct to crawl into and die.

“Why didn't I remember it was a human holiday?” He put his burning face in his hands. “I'm so stupid.”

“It's the thought that counts?” There was a question in Tali's electronic voice as she continued working away at her console. Off to the side, his two favorite engineers were clearly enjoying this pathetic display. He made a mental note to make sure they got early duty for the next week or so.“I doubt he minded getting free candy anyway.”

That still wouldn't take away the look of utter confusion that had been on Garrus' face as he had handed over the wrapped box filled with candy. It had taken three different tries – once that had given Titus a stomachache so bad that he had been in the bathroom for an hour – to get it right, and that was the result he got. The blankest look anyone had ever given him, even including all the ones from boot camp. Hurt pride wasn't even a factor, that had just been embarrassing.

Still, it wasn't like Alistair could sit in engineering all day and hide from his problems. He kind of had actual work to do. Besides, the floor was cold. Sighing, he returned to his feet and dusted himself off as best he could.

“Thanks for listening.”

“And thank you for  the leftovers.” At least someone was appreciating his hard work. That was something as he gave Tali a wave and headed towards the elevator. Maybe he added a little extra force when he punched the buttons, but could anyone blame him?

At least the day was almost over if the blinking display from his omni-tool was right – which it was, synced clocks and all that good stuff – so he could put it behind him. Or, at least Alistair thought he could as the elevator door slid open.

Problem was, it was hard to forget how Garrus had looked at him when Garrus was currently looking at him.

Fuck.

Alistair opened his mouth but nothing came out. Instead, he just closed it again as his face started to turn red. He tried to look anywhere but at who was standing in front of him like it was no big deal. So he looked towards the floor, towards his feet.

Maybe that's when he noticed Garrus had something tucked under his arm, half hidden by the elevator door. It wasn't another damned report, thank the gods or spirits or whoever the fuck was listening. Instead, it was... fluffy and had a short tail he would know from twenty paces away no matter what.

“You uh... you ran off before I could give this to you.”

Suddenly, Alistair was being nudged with a plush face. Two round eyes jabbed him right in the side. The plush hamster had to be at least ten times bigger than Saren, large enough to serve as a pillow if he wanted it to be. And it was in the hands of a certain Turian who  couldn't look at him either.

“It's for me?”

Well, wasn't he the master of dialogue?

At least it got Garrus to chuckle, which did awful things to his stomach. “Who else likes space hamsters that much? I didn't know what you're supposed to get someone but the eyes made me think of you.”

Indeed, Alistair noted the toy's eyes were blue as Garrus handed it over to him. All he could really do was hug the damn thing as he tried to figure out something to say that wasn't completely stupid. Judging on the situation, maybe it would have been allowed.

Normally, thank you would have probably been a good one. But damn if he couldn't get his tongue to work right then.

Luckily Garrus wasn't finished talking. “Happy Valentine's Day?”

There was that same uptick in tone that the translator always used to signify a question. Somehow, Alistair was really starting to like that. At least, he told himself that as he held his hamster friend close in order to figure out what to say.

“Uh... thanks... you too.” A smile crossed his face. “Guess I shouldn't have worried about giving you chocolate then?”

“Only that you apparently nearly put somebody in the hospital with it. Glad that wasn't the one you gave me.”

Both of them chuckled as they stood there, no doubt keeping the elevator from servicing other people on the Normandy. As the seconds ticked away and a new day began, Alistair found he didn't really mind that much at all.

They could deal. Half of them were ex-Alliance anyway; they could take the damn stairs.  

[chicagoindiecritics]

New Written Review from Mike Crowley on You’ll Probably Agree: What it was like returning to the theater to see “Inception” and what theaters will look like after the pandemic

SKIP TO THE FIFTH PARAGRAPH FOR MY THEATRICAL EXPERIENCE

I had my doubts if Christopher Nolan was the true authoritarian on demanding “Tenet’s” release. I know he has enormous power in Hollywood, but was he wielding it like a selfish dictator? A man of his intellect couldn’t be narrow-minded enough to refuse to delay his film until it’s safe to show in theaters, right? About 70 films have been pushed to the fall, next year, or placed on streaming. James Bond, Christopher Nolan’s childhood hero, was even forced back to a November release date. A November release date in which, like many, is viewed to be moved until things are safe. After seeing the promotional materials for the 10th anniversary 70mm print of “Inception,” there’s absolutely no doubt that Nolan is entirely hell-bent on releasing his film only in theaters. To see these promotional materials, I couldn’t access them online. At least not by any legal means. Much like his iMax previews to his last four films, it was mandatory to watch them in the cinema.

Attached were two reels. One was a 10-minute preview for “Tenet.” After that was a 2-3 minute look back on “Inception.” In both shows, Christopher Nolan makes it crystal clear that his films are intended to be seen on the biggest screen possible with the loudest speakers surrounding the audience. On the “Inception” reel, Nolan expressed his disappointment that there are those who couldn’t see his 2010 film in a theatre, so here was their chance to do so. The problem is from my understanding is that the 70mm print of “Inception” that I viewed is the only available one in the United States. I know that when they filmed the sizzle for these movies, Nolan couldn’t have predicted such a global catastrophe. I feel incredibly fortunate to have seen “Inception” on  70mm film when initially I saw it on a generic digital 35mm reprint in a theatre that wasn’t a lover of cinema like The Music Box Theatre in Chicago is.

But even before the Pandemic, how many people would get access to this print other than iMax cinemas? How long could iMax last? Most of the country has switched to digital. Celluloid has become a novelty that I will always prefer over digital, a uniqueness that appeals to a very niche audience. How would that be profitable in the long run? Now with the COVID-19 Pandemic, that novelty will probably die forever. It was probably going to die anyway, just not this fast. 

To make a movie on film is far more costly than to use digital. Not only do you shoot the movie, but you must also send it to a lab to develop the print afterward. The chemical emulsion process is an expensive mechanism. Shooting on digital only requires a memory card or hard drive that you can directly dump the data onto another hard drive to start editing immediately on a computer. It’s cost and time efficiency towers over film. The theatrical distribution model is a dying breed, only left alive through purists like Mr. Nolan. His purity may be going a bit too far, however. It was only a matter of time before iMax would once more be something that was only used for nature and space films to be seen in a museum. 

Walking into a theatre once more felt like going into a gallery. I can happily make it very clear that The Music Box Theatre is not taking this Pandemic lightly. Instructions weren’t given to me; they were borderline shouted.

-Theatre Attendant: Have you been here since we reopened?

-Me: Uh, I was here before.

-Theatre Attendant: NO! Have you been here on JULY 3rd SINCE WE REOPENED? 

-Me: No

The attendant proceeded to provide me with the social distance seating protocol. He ended the briefing with “that’s it.” I almost expected him to say, “dismissed.” Usually, I would have been taken back by such an aggressive custom. Considering the unprecedented circumstances we all are in, I respected the young man’s sternness. I was picturing all the morons he had to deal with that didn’t follow proper instructions. People who ignored the blue “do not sit here” taped signs, took their masks off when not using a concession—pulling their phones out during the movie. Let alone, coughing or sneezing without their face cover. With 745 available seats, only 50 were free to use. People were spread exponentially more than 6 feet apart. In the row next to me, there were two young ladies. One of them was politely holding in her cough. Her mask was still on before the lights dimmed. During my state of alarm, I knew it was only a matter of time before one cough might slip out. Trying to mean no offense, I quietly sneaked towards the nearest row of the screen.   

The woman’s coughing wasn’t the only reason I sat in the semi front row; I was also wearing glasses, whereas you may know, masks and glasses don’t make the best mix. If I was close enough to the screen, I can take my fogged up glasses off and still clearly see what was going on the screen. That mostly worked, but my natural eyesight couldn’t substitute for my assisted one. And boy did those glasses get foggy. I increasingly grew jealous of those that could tolerate contact lenses. Even worse were people with perfect vision. I had to limit my breathing during the film because every natural exhale felt like a steam pipe was being burst onto my eyes.

With me, I came equipped with two masks. The medical kind you see everyone wearing, and a cloth one. Both were on at the same time. In my pocket was a bottle of hand sanitizer for whenever I touched a surface. I heard that COVID doesn’t last on surfaces, but I’ve listened to the CDC change their minds before. My paranoia level varied. Once comfortably watching the film from a safe distance with my double-layered mask, I felt secure. The Music Box has been open for long enough since the Pandemic. I haven’t heard of any cases appearing within their establishment. They’re not like some local restaurants or bars I saw in Wisconsin during my vacation there who acted like everything was normal. With that said, you can’t control the actions of others. 

Let me be clear that I never removed my mask once during the entire three hours I was in that theatre. While the movie played, I turned around to see if my fellow patrons were applying the same amount of caution that I was. In the beginning, everyone was covered up during the pre-roll “Tenet” adds. The rule in the theatre was that once seated, you can only remove your mask when eating or drinking, then immediately put it back on. This rule was announced by the man I spoke to earlier, where he took the stage before the film began. There was no way you could claim you were unaware of the safety guidelines. Of course, Americans had to act like Americans. Once the film started after the promos, everyone’s masks were off. At one point during the movie, that lady who I moved away from that was coughing, yup, one cough slipped out. Luckily I was about 50 feet away from her while looking like Shredder with my extra protection. Throughout the rest of the film, I didn’t hear a single cough or sneeze. How did the movie look on its correct format though? Spectacular. 

Christoper Nolan may be a stubborn stick in the mud, but my God is he right when it comes to the beauty of the theatrical experience. The black levels in the colors are vibrant far beyond anything you’ll get on your 4K 60-inch television; the sound is bone shatteringly clear. Every nuanced detail in the phenomenal production design is visible to an otherwise naked eye; this is something special. “Inception” is a bombastic operatic picture in the very best sense of the meaning. My appreciation for the 2010 spy thriller was improved when seeing it on the big screen. Even with my fogged up glasses and short breaths, I felt like it was an experience worth having. To have that experience though you really, REALLY, have to love film. The common man would not go to the trouble I did to see a movie that they can easily watch at home. 

Seeing “Inception” in a nearly abandoned theatre that still classifies as sold out was a bit of a relic. I felt like the little kid in “The Last Action Hero” walking into the old man’s theatre. I’m experiencing something from a great past time that no longer exists. It was like going to the Omnimax Theatre in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. Only this time, there was an inherent fear of disease, which luckily rapidly dissipated once there. I sympathize entirely with Christopher Nolan’s stone wall decision on maintaining a theatrical release for “Tenet.” He doesn’t have the power alone to release the film, whichever way he sees fit. Warner Bros is in the same boat as him. Nolan was the man who brought Batman back from the dead. He’s the one man in Hollywood who can sell an original big-budget picture on his name alone. Chris brought Warner Bros a lot of money.

The theatre is located upstairs

The termination of the Paramount decree’s 72-year law is the final nail in our current chain’s coffin. Movies won’t be evenly distributed. All of our existing theatrical establishments are running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to make their money back to the point of offering 15 cents per movie ticket upon initial reopening. When theaters do come back, they’ll be rebuilt, owned by the studios that distribute them. You’ll have your Disney theatre attached to your Disney store. Watch “Spider-Man Homecoming 3” on the second floor, then buy your Spider-Man toy on the first floor. Go to your Netflix theatre so you can see a film four months before it hits streaming. Finally, go to a Warner Bros theatre in Six Flags Great America, where you can watch Matt Reeves’ “The Batman.” Then buy your Robert Pattinson caped crusader doll when exiting the show. The funeral is in procession for theaters as we know it. Christopher Nolan may be able to make movies on film throughout the rest of his career, but to see them on celluloid; you’ll have to go to a museum or a specialty theatre like The Music Box. Such a realization is a heartbreaking reality. The sooner we can accept it, the better off we’ll be.

More of my thoughts on the future of movie theaters can be seen below.  

Permalink

from you’ll probably agree website https://ift.tt/3kQJVv1 via IFTTT

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2PXtQpt via IFTTT

[coshayphinelove]

5 character headcanons - cosima, felix, scott, art, mk, rachel, krystal, adele

i am so sorry if you are on mobile and the read more does not work properly and you see all of this.  

you have my deepest apologies.

Send me the name of a character and I will tell you my:

cosima

1. sexuality headcanon:  canon says she’s a lesbian, i just wanna say that despite what interviews beforehand said.  

and i’ve always had the idea that for a long time she had a complicated relationship with her sexuality.  she identified as bi and/or queer for a while and swore off labels for another.  like she had been with guys before and they were fun and everything.  and the girls she was with were also fun but she was only looking for fun there, too.  but now she’s gotten to the point where she’s looking for something more serious than fun.  and that led her to realizing that she Loves women way more and way more thoroughly than she likes men (if she even can really call it liking men at all).  and so she’s getting comfortable with labels and id’s as a lesbian now.

(i only think that because the two conflicting informations needed to be reconciled in my head.)  (i’m not a lesbian so please tell me if this is not cool or something that isn’t part of being one.)

2. otp:  coshayphine.  they’re just.  so good.  though i’m kind of dragging myself down a sarcoshayphine hole and there’s #noragrets.  (some ragrets, actually.  that is so many people and hands and emotions to keep track of.)

3. brotp:  if it’s not a sarcoshayphine thing, then sarah.  i feel like aside from helena and sarah they’re the closest.  and they just care so much for each other that if it didn’t get to a dating level then they would be the bestest of bros.  

and if it is sarcoshayphine then charlotte.  i’ve already decided that she calls her little buddy (even after charlotte gets taller than her)  (which is going to happen).

4. notp:  idk?  paul?  i really hated paul.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  I Have Too Many.

but i love the idea of her getting a hair cut like this or this (short sides and a floofy curly bit at the top) bc in my head she’s nonbinary.  so she’s got this big life change of turning over a new leaf and being free finally and coming to terms with some new identities and she just cuts all her hair off.  Symbolism.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  i like science and girls and if they happened at the same time for me i would start coughing up blood too.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: her seemingly putting her own needs aside and not talking to delphine.  like they start and she brings up good points, but delphine is written to be cryptic af so it just seems like she gives up on trying to find out what she wants or working their relationship into something more healthy.  and that makes me real uncomfy.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  cinnamon roll!!

The rest are under a cut!!

felix

1. sexuality headcanon:  he is gay

2. otp:  either him and colin or felony.  i just miss tony a whole lot.

3. brotp:  sarah.  lov thos kids

4. notp:  ???  paul.  i’m just going to keep saying paul

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  i have it outlined for the post s5 fic that once coshayphine move into their residence that they’re going to keep for the foreseeable future they hang up the painting of cosima.  and she hates being the only one with a 5 foot tall painting.  

so being a good foster brother-in-law or whatever they are to each other, he paints one of delphine and shay too, because that’s totally what cosima meant!!!!  not that she wanted it taken down/put somewhere other than the front room.  thanks felix.  sure thing cosima, what are foster brother-in-laws for?  and he paints delphine naked to make her just a little uncomfortable (one of his favorite past times), but it’s from the shoulders up.  so it’s not too weird.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  sarcasm and using gay as a descriptor 

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character:season 4.  like.  i know it worked out in the end.  but the fact that he didn’t understand why searching for his ‘real sister’ while there’s life or death situations bothered sarah was like.  the worst.  and i understand his side too, but like.. did it need to happen Right Then?  when evil corporations were stealing and copyrighting genomes??8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  cinnamon roll.

scott

1. sexuality headcanon: biromantic asexual!!

2. otp: hellwizard and/or rune wars.

3. brotp:  team science mega force

4. notp:  just gonna say paul right down the line, for Comedic Effect.

but for a while there were people who were like scott/delphine or scott/cosima and it was.  a no from me.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  has the unfortunate job of first one down to the lab in the morning.  he either wakes cosima and delphine up or walks really loudly to alert them that he is there.  he is usually someone who likes to start work early, but… he starts coming in later because he’s seen things that he Did Not Want To See.  he is unable to make eye contact with cosima for a week after she was going to run to the kitchen to grab breakfast naked but didn’t know he was there.  poor guy.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  Uncomfortable Chortling™.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: Uncomfortable Chortling™.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  cinnamon roll.  the purest one.  he just really wants to help his bro.

art

1. sexuality headcanon:  bi art woulda been cool.

2. otp: safety and happiness.  i don’t know what we know about his ex but if it was healthy and loving but just dissolved bc of him working so much then maybe he could reconnect with her?  

3. brotp:  beth and art 5ever

4. notp:  sarah.  They Are Friends.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  is such a good dad.  plays dress up and does tea parties and when charlotte is having behavioral problems at school takes the time to talk to her and figures out it’s bc she’s bored and too smart.  had to be forced to stop bed time stories bc ‘that’s for babies, dad!!!’ was a little more than heartbroken.  is the dad that runs out onto the soccer field when his kid is taken down and appears to be injured.  cries openly when he finds out that helena named her son after him.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  Guy Who Just Wants His Friends To Get Their Lives Together But Doesn’t Worry About His Own.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: in the finale there was this shot of him while he was helping helena give birth.  and i think they went too close with a short lens while he was laughing because his face kinda looked distorted.  and it was a nice laughing face but the distortion kinda scared me.  made me think something bad was about to happen WHICH WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OKAY8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: cinnamon roll

mk

1. sexuality headcanon:  asexual aromantic

2. otp: how just so totally alive she still is and how she killed freshanando

3. brotp:  nicki? nikki?  however you spell her name.  and also beth.

4. notp:  death.  canon.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head: got pretty much all of her money from embezzling and investing.  she only embezzled like $2,000 from each corporation, but she was so good at timing and watching the market she’s sitting on several million dollars.  but she likes her trailer so she just gives the extra away as it comes in.  at least now that she has family to gift it to.

cosima enrolls at University of Toronto and finds the exact amount for her tuition is wired to her account.

delphine needs to buy a whole new wardrobe and rebuild her life and an envelope full of cash is waiting in the mailbox at the comic book store.  (not the point right now, but where THE FUCK was she getting her clothes???)

alison is worried about the kids’ college tuition bc of their year of unemployment plus drug dealing and gets a transfer.

sarah takes some time in finding a job and is worried about making a payment on S’s house but then it magically goes away and so does the next one.

etc. etc.  and she never runs out of money, but everybody else just thinks she’s being so generous.  and they never ask for more, bc god how could you ask for more after gifts like that.  and so she just keeps accruing more and more interest so she starts just dumping all this money on charities.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  i really wanna blow frickinanderino up.  

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character:i don’t think there was anything...  but i don’t really remember much of s4... maybe the driving with the sheep mask on?  that was so dangerous and extra.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  cinnamon roll

rachel

1. sexuality headcanon:  i’ve been seeing some people talking about lesbian rachel and i can get behind that.  like seeing the number of clones showing signs of ‘sexual fluidity’ or whatever the book phrased it as.  and she doesn’t want to be like them.  so she forces it down to be The Perfect Subject.  then later realizes that that made those subjects of more interest to some of the scientists.  or she never considered it for herself because they always gave her male monitors so she just didn’t think about it.  there’s some angst there.

2. otp:  propane.

3. brotp:  who was the guy she texted ‘update pls’?  bc whoever she felt she could text slang with they must’ve been close.

4. notp:  paul, but i mean it this time.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  go read @sharkodactyl s fic the sun that’s setting in the east.  

6. one way in which I relate to this character: is a sucker and would do anything for an authority figure’s approval.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character:anything to do with ferfuckle.  honey.  love yourself.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  Problematic.  not even fave.  i felt for rachel, but it was very cool_motive_still_murder.gif.  unlike with other characters who did bad things, her intent was to harm.  even if it was misguided revenge against the wrong people.  though i am glad that she got out alive and can try to live a life that she actually chooses rather than what is chosen for her.

krystal

1. sexuality headcanon:  idk.. maybe pansexual?  or she just doesn’t do labels and has a whole speech about it.

2. otp: brie.  they even have a canon ship name in kay-bee.

3. brotp:  manicures, mimosas, & croissants as described here.  but basically krystal, adele, and delphine.  they go for brunch, get their nails done, and tipsily validate the everliving fuck out of each other.

4. notp:  paul, cuz why not.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  bc kay-bee is obviously canon... after the incident with brie’s hair krystal is extra careful when she plays with her hair.  and she takes extra special but sneaky looks to see if she’s getting any bald spots.  in short, she’s worried about her girlfriend and wants to make sure she’s okay.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  does The Most but is dead wrong.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character:  the fact that john and graeme didn’t know that she was based on a kroll show bit and accidentally kinda stole her.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  the cinnamoniest of rolls

adele

1. sexuality headcanon:  i feel like she is a straight person?  she just reminds me of my country relatives who have ‘live, laugh, love’ signs in their homes.  idk why.

2. otp:  getting help for her drinking problem and getting un disbarred.  re barred?

3. brotp:  as stated above:  manicures, mimosas, & croissants.

4. notp:  fuck it.  paul.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head:  she’s scarily good at video games.  she didn’t even realize it until she sat down to play with the kids, at their request, and finds out that she can’t stop winning.  the kids then ask her to leave.

6. one way in which I relate to this character:  is also very ready to drink at any time.

7. thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character:idk i feel like she was a wholesome addition to clone club.  maybe her inability to keep a secret even though everybody told her to not tell.8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?:  cinnamon roll.

[cosmiciaria]

Final Fantasy XV [long] Review (minor spoilers!)

This is going to be my first review here on Tumblr, and I thought, why not start with something that’s still boiling out there? 

FFXV was many things for me. It was one of the three reasons why I bought a PS4 (the other two being Persona 5 and… eventually, KH3); it was, in fact, the first game I played on that console! I went from having a PS2 to a complete and brand new PS4, and it was all so overwhelming and beautiful for me, that I couldn't not feel amazed by everything.

Ok, so let's clear something out of the table: did I like FFXV? Yes! I thought it was a good game. Was it perfect? Hell no, I'm not blind, people! But, is there anything outside that it's perfect? *cof cof don't throw The Last of Us at me cof*

FFXV was highly expected by the audience, and after '10 years' of waiting, they were thirsty for something innovative, fresh, new, creative and mind blowing. What we did get, nonetheless, was a game that was worth only the four or three years in development that it actually had. The so called Final Fantasy Versus XIII never saw the light of day, much to many people's disgrace, and all those years that supposedly the game was being developed vanished entirely from the face of earth. What happened, we'll never truly know, and one can only speculate.

Me, personally, I wasn't interested in FFvXIII. It wasn't until this game was rebranded as FFXV that it caught my attention. And with each trailer, I grew more and more hyped. I started being a fan of Final Fantasy games in late 2014, when I was in my most stressed month of first year of college, and I needed something to clear my mind after hours of studying. Final Fantasy games showed me that videogames can have plot!, can have good characters!, can have good plot twists!, can rip your heart out and twist it in their hands and then give it back to you all broken and shattered! So, of course I was going to be hyped for this game: it had a prince, it had four handsome characters, it had an awesome car, it had magic and it had crystals. A complete score for me.

FFXV, for those who haven't played it, is about the heir of the Kingdom of Lucis: Noctis. Noctis isn't your average prince: he's more the lazy kind of royalty child. And no, he's not emo. Yes, he likes his hair like that. Yes, he can see through it. Stop considering him as an emo. Play the game, you'll learn why. Anyway, Noctis's kingdom is in turmoil and fighting against the Niffleheim Empire, a technologically advanced country that's using the power of Magitek Troopers to submit as much as Lucis's territories as it can. Only Insomnia, the Crown City capital, remains safe behind its magical walls.

The political truce comes by the hand of Niffleheim chancellor Ardyn Izunia, a very funny character (and funny here meaning strange – oh I'm beginning to sound like Lemony Snicket) who's obviously up to no good. He proposes the marriage between Noctis, the prince of Lucis, and Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, the Oracle of Tenebrae. This is kind of ironic here, because Luna and Noctis knew each other from when they were children, but that's another story. Go watch the anime Brotherhood.

The kingdom of Lucis accepts this truce, albeit with suspicious eyes. Noctis, unaware of his father's true plans, is sent on a trip with his boyfriends – I mean, best friends, to Altissia, the city in which he's gonna marry Luna. He's happy, though. So happy that he even jokes about it to his father.

The moment he leaves Insomnia, all hell breaks loose. His city is attacked, destroyed, massacred, and many other synonyms, and his father dies in battle. The truce was no truce at all, the marriage was a façade, and the whole purpose was to wipe the Lucis Caelum dynasty from the face of Eos. Noctis, with the help of his bros, has to reclaim back his throne (huh, ring a bell? Back cover of the game? No?), by requesting the help of the Six Astrals (a.k.a. gods, a.k.a. gameplay wise, summons) and by seeking the Royal Arms, weapons wielded by Lucis Kings of old, his forebears.

So that's the set up. You start here, and everything goes downhill.

I'm going with the bad news first: what did FFXV do wrong – so wrong that it makes you wanna throw the game and ask yourself 'why did I buy this! This is no FF at all!'?

The FIRST thing this game did wrong was to be rushed. Yes. People are still saying that this game was ten years in development: guess what, it wasn't! Until Tabata relieved Nomura as director, the game was going nowhere. They had little time to create something worth the wait of ten years, and, inevitably, things were going to get crazy for these people working under pressure. I DID feel the game was rushed in the last chapters after leaving Altissia. The chapters that occur on the train feel like a plot device: we're moving, but there's nowhere to go, but the plot goes on, and so you gotta go on too, go with the flow, don't ask questions, just go there, do the thing, come back here, sit down, keep doing it. In one moment, after losing Prompto to that fall and witnessing the demise of Tenebrae (well, 'witness', we arrived just after the attack), I was just sitting there, watching Noctis and Ignis having a conversation and asking myself 'why the hell are we here, where are we heading'. MANY things happen off screen, and it gets on my nerves every time I think about it: the transformation of emperor into Foras, a demon that hunts you down during Chapter 13; the betrayal of Ravus Nox Fleuret; whatever happened to Verstael (is that man still alive? I guess we won't know until Episode Prompto DLC). We also don't get to see the content of Kingsglaive movie and the anime Brotherhood in the actual game, so if you were expecting some kind of backstory for each character, sorry to disappoint you, you gotta watch 'em all.

Actually, I do wanna do a sidenote here: the anime is pretty good. It's short: only an hour long, and it provides you with a lot of info you'll be glad to have. Also, it makes you like the characters even more. Yes, the content should've been there in the game SOMEWHERE (we don't ask for much), but still, it's worth your time. Kingsglaive, on the other hand… yes, it provides with crucial information for the start of the game that you SHOULD know, but that's only some minutes in the movie. The rest is just Nyx's story, and we're not really here for Nyx, are we?

At any rate, the second thing people are complaining more about is the cut content. There are lands and lands and lands AND LANDS of explorable places in the game that you CAN'T reach. They're there, they were supposed to serve some purpose, but you can't touch them. Shuuu. Also, prior to the game, many trailers were released and many scenes shown there didn't make it to the final product. Where is Luna's backstory? Where is that kid Noctis and king Regis scene from the Dawn Trailer? Nope, not for you! Sorry to disappoint ya!

That doesn't bother me too much. I don't pretty much look at the cut content: it's not in the game, it shouldn't be taken into account while reviewing it. But it's there, I guess.

What it actually bothers me a lot, is that you can't control your whole party. You only control Noctis. And that's fine, when you haven't played Final Fantasy Type 0, which was directed by the same man here. And in FF T0 you can control and SWITCH between 14 characters. All the time. Whenever you want. Always. And you're left wondering how the hell was that possible in a PSP game, but not in a PS4 game. I wonder.

The third thing I personally hate about this game, is Luna. Really. She's such a wasted potential that makes me wanna hit something. Period. I shipped Noctis more with the car than with her (joking, actually I ship Noct with Iris, but that's just me).

ALRIGHT, let's go with the good news now! Hell, how did you manage to like the game after all this that you've mentioned?

Like? Like? I LOVED the game!

Bear with me a little longer.

Yes, the game it's flawed in more ways that should've been allowed. But it also does many things well. Very well. The core of the game is on its gameplay: addictive, fun, not so strategic at the beginning, but still worth it. I spent hours killing fiends just to feel the enjoyment of smashing that sword and warping around with the prince of pain! The game has many optional dungeons, and some of them are nightmares made flesh, and if you want even a harder challenge, you have the dungeons inside of the dungeons, which are even more nightmarish! There are optional bosses here and there. It'll take some time before you run out of things to kill in the game. And even then, you can try your platforming skills in the Pitioss Dungeon, although I'd advise you to take it easy, because you're gonna have a bad time. Trust me, I'm an enginstudent of law.

Alright, you don't like the gameplay? Still, there are plenty of things to enjoy. The visuals in the game are awestriking. I used to hate driving in the car, but now, I enjoy the view and I listen to the music of older FF's, because everything there is worth seeing. The amount of details put into the game is amazing: how things get wet when it rains, even the car's glass gets pixelated with drops; how Noctis and the others interact with the environment; how the AI is programmed to make them react to different things in different ways. Even when Ignis, while driving, takes his Ebony coffee, the can doesn't disappear into thin air, but it's instead placed in a coaster in the car. It's a tiny thing, but it's there, people worked on it and it deserves praise!!

Fine, fine, you're not looking for details. Ok. Then you gotta love the characters. The way they interect with each other. Yes, we didn't have backstory for any of them. We don't know where Prompto comes from, or what Gladiolus wants, or why Iginis is likes he is. But, who cares. The time you spend with your bros is where the real trip is. No wonder Tabata said he wanted to make the 'roadtrip with friends' the main idea of the game. You grow fond of them without even noticing it, you start caring for them, even more when bad things start happening to them! Oh, my god, could SOMEONE hug PROMPTO, FOR F*CK'S SAKE HE NEEDS A HUG RIGHT NOW!!

And it's not just the main characters: Aranea Highwind is such a good asset in your party, that people even found the way to force her permanently in your team! (although they say new patches have removed this glitch – unfortunately) Iris Amicitia, Gladio's sister, is also a good change of pace for the male party members. And, hey, what about the main villain? Ardyn Izunia may very well be one of the best antagonists ON EARTH. I just love him so much, him and his plans and his voice actor.

OKAY, you don't like any of this! What about the music? It's gorgeous, it makes you tear up and have goosebumps. I cry myself to sleep with the soundtrack!

Music either…? Alright, alright. Maybe the ending of the game will compensate for something. No? Fine… maybe, just MAYBE FFXV isn't for you. And I'm not judging you!! Between us, my favorite FF is FFX.

Anyway, yes! I loved the game! And I cried a thousand rivers! And I started a new game + right after finishing it while still having tears in my eyes! Because this game, flawed though it is, means a lot to me. Really. It has given me many laughs, many cries, and it has made me feel real friendship. It's been a long time since I don't feel something real coming from a story, but this game has made it.

At the end of the day, this is the story of four friends: Noct, Iggy, Prom and Gladio. It doesn't matter the future of the kingdom. It doesn't matter how this war is going to end. What's important is the time you spend together with them. And how they, slowly but steadily, make their way into the player's heart.

So now, I do have a soft spot for this game in my heart. Although I know it's not perfect, it makes me glad to see how many people out there are still supporting it, and how the development team 'keeps on keeping on, the only way they know how'.

If you ever liked a Final Fantasy game… please, just give it a shot. If not, you can come to me and complain all you want, but don't miss the chance of playing this awesome game.

My final verdict, is an 8 out of 10. Could've been better, but still worth it. Really worth it. 

[savvynanatravellove-blog]

Great Eats in Colorado Springs

What’s a vacation without trying new restaurants?  I mean of course you have to eat regardless of where you may be, but vacation time is a great time to try new restaurants.  Whether you’re in search of the perfect burger, like me, or just want to try something different vacation time is the perfect opportunity to do both.  And that’s exactly what we do when we’re on vacation.

You don’t necessarily have to step out of your comfort zone and go in search of something very exotic like candied grasshoppers or fried monkey brains.  I personally am not that adventurous.  But you may want to try an area’s specialty or hot spot.

This summer we spent a week in Colorado Springs visiting my daughter and her family.  Now Colorado Springs is hardly lacking in restaurants, just about all the big chains are there.  That’s good to know if you’ve a yen for the familiar, which happens sometimes when you’re away from home.  This trip gave us the perfect opportunity to sample some local places and also some that are familiar to most folks, but we don’t have in Hawaii. Having said that here’s a short list of what I thought were great eats in Colorado Springs.

Larkburger!  This Colorado company has gone all natural.  Everything from ingredients, to operations, and packaging is all natural and eco-friendly.  They even have a compost bin in every store where you toss the packaging after your meal. This place is really a burger joint.  But oh what a burger they serve!  Their signature Larkburger is a classic burger made with black angus meat.  It’s simply delicious! They also have chicken, vegetarian, turkey, and ahi burgers on the menu.  And of course hand-cut fries, salads, and house made dressings and sauces.

A trip to Colorado isn’t complete without a burger from Larkburger!  Try an order of their Truffle & Parmesan Fries, you won’t be disappointed! I love pizza, who doesn’t?  A pizza from Dion’s is a yummy treat.  This pizza place started in New Mexico and now has locations in Colorado (2) and Texas (1).  They serve pizza, subs, and salads.  Their gourmet pizzas are amazing!

I always judge a pizza by its crust, and Dion’s makes them just right!  I’m a purist and like my pizza without all that extra toppings, just cheese please.  Their cheese pizza is covered with cheese, not bare spots there!

This next one isn’t a restaurant, it’s a farmer’s market.  You’ll be surprised at all the great eats you’ll find at Colorado Springs’ Sunday Market Downtown in Acacia Park.  Aside from buying locally grown veggies you can indulge in some terrific mini pies, fresh tamales, handmade chocolates, and gourmet lemonade.  It’s really an out door buffet!

Not only is the Sunday Market a place to find great eats in Colorado Springs, it’s a fun place to spend Sunday mornings.  Just pick a spot on the lawn and listen to the band while you chow down on your yummy food.  Afterwards the kids can play in the playground or splash zone.  Best of all admission to the park/market is free!

Qdoba Mexican Eats serves tacos, burritos, nachos, salads, and quesadillas the way you want it.  I’m the concept is very much like Chipotle.  You choose your entree and order it which your choice of protein, toppings, and sauces. Their servings are huge!  You might consider sharing a burrito or an order of Knockout Tacos. Their tortilla chips are fresh and crisp, they’re handcut and made in house daily.  They go great with the queso dip! This is a nationwide franchise, unfortunately we don’t have one in Hawaii.  Guess I’ll just have to visit my daughter more often!

Amy’s Donuts has donuts galore.  There are only 2 locations, Colorado Springs and Columbus, Ohio.  If you’re lucky enough to get to one of them your eyes will pop at the colorful variety of donuts they make! If you can think of a topping you’re almost guaranteed to find it on one of Amy’s Donuts! The kids loved it!  We had to make several trips to the donut shop in that one week!  The boys couldn’t decide which one was their favorite, so we got a variety each time we went.

For our daily coffee fix we hit up Dutch Bros. Coffee.  Their Dutch Freeze is a meal in itself.Dutch Bros. is also a franchise with locations mostly on the west coast.  In my opinion they’re better than Starbucks.  But to be fair I’m not a big Starbucks fan and rarely go there for coffee.

I always see Carrabba’s Italian Grill ads on TV and have heard my mom talk about them.  But I had never been, we don’t have them in Hawaii either.  So when I saw one in Colorado Springs of course we had to go in for dinner one night.  Let me tell you, we were glad we did.It’s similar to Olive Garden, which was always on our list to go to places on the mainland, (we don’t have them here too), but it’s really not.

I still like Olive Garden, but I think prefer Carrabba’s now that I’ve tried it.  I ordered their Chicken Marsala and kept my fingers crossed.  Marsala it seems is always hit or miss, of course I compare it to my own recipe which is the best.  The Chicken Marsala at Carrabba’s came very close to the one I make at home.

They don’t have unlimited breadsticks like they do at Olive Garden.  That’s really one of the main reasons we like Olive Garden.  But they do bring fresh bread that you can dip in olive oil.  My husband loved that part best!

I said earlier sometimes you have a yen for the familiar when you’re away from home.  So one of our favorites is Ihop.  It really is one of the best places for breakfast. Yes, we actually have a local ihop, but we rarely go.  Somehow their service and food is always bad at our local ihop.  So we look forward to eating there when we’re on the mainland.

We like it because it’s usually very family friendly.  The kids get a kick out of the Funny Face Pancake on the kid’s menu.  They order it everytime. Whatever you’re hungry for you’ll almost certainly find it at an ihop.  Great pancakes too! There were more places I wanted to try, but couldn’t get to them in just one week.  This only means that another visit to Colorado Springs is definitely in the cards for us.  (Of course it is as long as my son-in-law is stationed there!)

[horaynestylikinson]

Today was a long day

My days are always so boring, and on some days life just decides to blow up a lot of things to my face, in a single day. And that’s why I can never really make a good blog post describing my day/life, because I’ll end up talking about a lot of stuff.

Like earlier this morning, I had my driving lessons. Even prior to the lessons, I felt like expressing into a blog post how I always felt apprehensive about them. The day after tomorrow is the day of my driving test, if I pass I get my license, and obviously I don’t want to experience the feeling of failing my driving test. 

The problem is, failing a driving test is so common. I have 4 older siblings, and half of them failed their first test. 

So I don’t know if I should feel bad about failing, or what. If I should expect failing. I’m a person not used to failing. But in this case, I have a funny feeling if I pass the first test,.

I’m really confused here. I’m really scared too. Because I keep half expecting I’ll fail, and because the overall ‘driving’ thing for me makes me think on how common it is people get involved in an accident, big or small. Especially given the fact that people behave unexpectedly on the road.

Okay that was one issue. 

I also have been a little uneasy with the two instructors I’ve had before this, but today I got a different instructor, and I’m pretty pleased with this guy. I first met him during the last lesson, he was to send me home from the driving school. He had an easy-going nature, we had a conversation the ride home (conversations with the other instructors have been awkward), and today I discovered that yes, I would prefer learning with him. Because he won’t declare that I would fail every time I did a mistake, he’d just point it out and give me instructions on what to do if so and so. Yes, I still do appreciate the lectures I get from my other instructors on why I should pay attention to small details the examiner would, but it does just get on my nerves. 

I don’t prefer, however, that this instructor smoked a cigarette every time he steps out of the car. And a few other details, but I’m not gonna list down everything that I like about these instructors.

I was supposed to have another lesson tomorrow, but seeing because these were extra classes, and I had to pay extra (RM40/hour for 3 hours), my dad told me to practice with my brother around the neighbourhood. The test route at the school had more traffic and wider roads, whilst my neighbourhood has narrower roads (but the cars are bloody fast) and a few inclines (a lot of speed bumps too). 

I got home at 11 am, and before 12 I went out with my fam to do some shopping. I was already tired after the driving lesson, but oh well, I have been staying at home doing nothing for so many days.

Cut to the chase, at one point I thought I saw this guy that I used to like about 2 years ago. My automatic reaction was to turn away and hide my face. I braved myself to take a look at him when he’s passed, only to learn that that wasn’t him.

I was glad that my heart hadn’t leapt up to my throat, like the last few times i saw him.

Guess what? A few hours later, we moved to the mall next door, and while the rest of the fam went to perform prayers, me and my sis went to a shoe store. 

The guy was there. Yes.

My eyes didn’t have to take 2 seconds to know it was him. Well, the whole time me and my sis was there, I completely pretended that I didn’t see him; though I knew we were going to come back to the store later, with the whole family. So when the rest of the fam had come, we went to buy clothes and to buy some stuff from the pharmacy.

And when we got back to the shoe store, I made the first move, of making eye contact, of making that face where I pretended ‘waiitt,, I know you....’ (literally, with a forefinger held in mid air and squint my eyes). 

Let me do a quick background story.

I had an eye on the boy when I was 12, the first few weeks of secondary school. But I learnt he had a girlfriend, so I told myself to back off. Near the end of the second year, I helped him find some books, and he said my name, and I was like ‘oh, crap, I do have feelings for him’. I saw that his facebook status was single, so I let myself observe him. 

Fast forward middle of the third year, I had a really bad crush on him, and during September/October I initiated contact with him on ask.fm. It’s a site where you ask people questions, you can do it anonymously or with an account. Long story short, he found out who I was, (worst feeling ever) but the next day he didn’t seem interested in talking to me irl. I was SOOOOOOOOO devastated. SOOOOOO devastated. Why? Because I was (am) such a shy person. I was not pretty (still am, but I’ve accepted myself for who I am and idc how I look like)

Then I picked up very subtle signs that he had a thing with my friend’s friend (who, on the fourth year, became my classmate). That was the very worst day I’ve ever had that I can remember, also, I overdosed on something on that day that made me kinda sure I was going to die that evening. But I didn’t. And on the fourth year, I learnt that he had a girlfriend (someone not from our school), which left me confused, because i thought my classmate was his girlfriend? 

Apparently my classmate was confused too, but I never asked anyone about it, and I decided I don’t like him anymore (it wasn’t as easy as how I’m making it sound, obviously).

A very short period after I decided to see myself as superior to him (I don’t remember if the very next day, or the week after that), I actually talked to the guy.

Okay let’s get back to what happened today. So after I acknowledged his presence (and I gestured that he and my younger bro both have the same names), I still purposely not-look-at-him that much. Yeah, I asked him about the shoe sizes and asked him for this size that size whatever and when I was being goofy trying them out in front of my parents he kept glancing over at me and -was he smiling?-.

Oh, I forgot to share the tale of when I discovered his girlfriend’s ig (his was privated, but my reaction’s still pretty much the same when he approved my follow request) and I was, how do I describe this,...

You really like a guy. And you really look up to him. He has a lot of qualities you like, I mean, he’s so similar to how you’d want your son to grow up to be. (p,s: currently, I’m hoping I won’t fall in love and get married and start a family) And you discover that his girlfriend is one of those selfie+duckface types, doing oozywoozymybfissoannoyingbutshoooocutie captions/comments, and you’re like, teary eyed, you deserve so much more than her!

I think what I need to inform you is that my heart didn’t have a panic attack. Sure, my hands trembled a bit, I was a little shook, but I’ve put him, I have strained and exhausted myself to put him behind a few years ago.

Afterall, I was in love with the guy in my head, not him. 

He’s a nobody to me now. We only exchanged like, 4/5 sentences. (oh, i also need to tell you my father kinda did his ‘teach em a lesson’ to the guy because my younger bro wanted to buy socks, and father was like ‘ARE THOSE SOCKS HIS SIZE’ and the guy was like ‘erm, they’re free size’

‘YEAH BUT DO THEY FIT MY SON’S FEET’

‘yeah, we just measured it’

wait i need to interrupt

oh my god the guy of my -past- dreams was bonding with my younger brother who has the same name as him

the guy of my -previous- fantasies of my future has met my family

the guy who i want(ed) to spend the rest of my life with has seen how challenging his future (perhaps in an alternate universe) father-in-law could be

okay continue

‘THOSE SOCKS ARE MEN’S SIZE. YOU SEE?’ *wagging the socks* ‘MEN. THIS IS A BOY. A CHILD’

to be honest, that child’s feet are almost my size, but,... *does not interfere*

and when everything’s all paid, the guy freaking smiles (i wasnt looking, ehem, but, like, i have invisible eyes all over my head) and said thank you please come again in the sweetest way i know he could do to my *older* brother who did the payment.

so like, we only exchanged like 4/5 sentences each, but I couldn’t help my mind going over those empty exchanges, wishing I had said more, wishing I’d replied differently, with different words, just...

okay wait to finish everything off, i was so beat when we got home, but my father made me practice my driving, and it’s 11.16pm right now. 

i made the title today was a really long day because i woke up at 6.30, after days of waking up at noon. my bedtime has been 2 am for almost 2 weeks now, (i just can’t sleep early). i need to get enough rest minimum until my driving test the day after tomorrow. 

well, that’s all im going to share to no one on tumblr right now.