#which i havent read yet because i want to wait until its all up for my own mental wellness due to some heavy themes

[pocketramblr]

dad for one but with rei...

Could you like, imagine if Rei was his daughter he didn't know what to do with, she's strong and cold but doesn't particularly want to be a villain, and he doesn't much want her to be one either, not in any way that threatens his stuff or her life at least. But then he hears Endeavor's been looking around for a match and he thinks "oh, there's no way he's gonna fall for an ice match right, he knows that would end awful right" but uh he fell for the match and the fake family in need and Rei's beautiful but aloof air, so,,, why not stick with it and see where it goes? it'll be good blackmail material, right? and its not like his daughter has a life of her own, or anything. he can bring her back to the base after and no one is any wiser, and she'll hate heroes even more and- kid?? and a second kid so soon? does she just want to get it over with? well seems like it's working, his underling tells him Touya is having problems with his quirk, but now instead of divorce and setting himself up for blackmail, Endeavor just keeps trying?? now four grandkids?? and Rei, showing her nerves on the phonecall with him for the first time in years, tells him that Touya tried to kill his baby brother and this one actually had the quirk Endeavor wanted and AfO thought impossible?? AfO decides nows the time to collect his family back and gets Touya before he can completely burn up, but Rei realizes she'd rather have her kids stuck with Enji than AfO, so she chooses to burn Shoto's face so Enji keeps him close and sends her away and??? i dunno she just hopes everyone forgets about Fuyumi and Natsuo because they're safer ignored and neglected than anything else???

[eomma-jpeg]

Wait wait talk about millynai version of the undine au

YOU DO NOT NEED TO ASK ME TWICE

SO squid here (@noaafishfieldguide) introduced me to the idea of an undine (sea creatures similar to mermaids) and an alternate mermaid au essentially to sea foam (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD READ BY THE WAY) where vash is the mer,,,, and it dives more heavily into fantasy !!!!

so squids original version of the au involves amnesia and is vashmeryl centric AND it involves an unwanted engagement between Milly and King Nai (the story has Milivio as the end goal)

but me.... being me decided what if that engagement was unwanted but,,,,, then they actually spent time together,,,, and then they fell in love

soooo here are some fun millynai undine au ideas (a story squid and i lovingly call along the ocean floor)

Milly is a half-elf princess of a riverside kingdom

Nai is the undine king of the neighboring ocean kingdom

Milly, the poor girl, is the youngest of a bunch of siblings, so naturally most of her older brothers are kind of duking it out to try and win the crown

Milly just anticipated to live her life in semi obscurity because shes the youngest of ten and doesn't have shot at the crown or at being bothered

she just wants to enjoy her life with her friends, make the kingdom a better and safer place, and do right by those around her

that is,,, until her brothers get the grand idea to marry her off

milly's older sisters (and some of her brothers) were all married-- some arranged-- but milly never intended to be married to a royal,,, but at the most recent political meeting and discussion they announced her engagement to a foreign royal

milly wasn't consulted, informed, or even told WHO IT WAS GOING TO BE

and because they know milly will be unhappy with this sudden change of plans, they keep her essentially under house arrest

milly sneaks out to clear her head and is just,,, so frustrated !!!

the marriage isn't an awful prospect to her. its not that big of a deal because her whole goal in life is to help the kingdom, and if this is what it is then so be it,

BUT THEY DIDN'T EVEN CONSULT HER

they didn't talk to her or get her opinion on which arrangement might be best AND THEY HAVENT EVEN DECIDED WHO YET,,, JUST THAT THEYRE GONNA MARRY HER OFF

milly also knows if the marriage pays off and the kingdom benefits, whoever suggested the idea is guaranteed the crown

so on her walk to clear her mind on the river banks, milly is angrily stomping about and kicking dirt and water,,,,, only to see something in the dark of night

and its a body

she rushes over to help the man, but she is ill prepared !!! to do that !!!

milly is a princess not a nurse !! she's well trained in the political and diplomatic arts ! (and maybe some martial arts) but not saving a man

and yet,,, she does all she can anyway

then,,, she realizes she recognizes this man,,, he's the king from that undersea kingdom.... THE ONE THAT WAS COMING TO VISIT THIS WEEK

so milly tries her best to help him, blah blah blah she breaks his rib, he yells at her and passes out again, and Milly wraps him up in her dress and carries him back to the castle

CUE MANY SHENANIGANS

This is the main idea for the first chapter (which i have written lol) but here's the subsequent plot ideas

nai is trapped in the castle with an injury hes having trouble healing by himself (some dumb magical weapon that he was attacked with)

eventually he gets better (meryl drops by to fix him) and returns to the sea

and then promptly returns with his twin brother........ who turns out to be the one betrothed to Milly

Milly and Vash play nice but they both don't,,, they dont want this

BUT because of the engagement and new relations between the kingdoms,,, the twins hang around for a few weeks,,,

and Milly gets to see Nai

well,, she finds him in a variety of places

mostly her places,, but she doesn't mind him hanging out there. those secluded spots in the garden or by the river are nice for a reason

but milly is the only one nai kind of knows in the castle, so they subconsciously drift toward one another during boring meetings and diplomatic mounts

and milly ofc goes to visit the undersea kingdom and i have a whooooollllleeeee design planned out for undine milly do not worry

but yeah,,, milly and nai tend to hang out with one another,, despite the fact that milly and vash are the ones that are engaged...

and uhhh perhaps nai starts to develop some,,, feelings,,,

because milly may be silly and naive sometimes but shes strong and convicted and kind and she knows the ins and outs of her kingdom and she is incredible at those political meetings and her hair and her lips and... and.... oh no

and sooooo he decides to speed up the wedding process so that he can be rid of those feelings

but it doesnt work....................

and then theres a ball to celebrate the couple and the unification of the kingdom and oh gosh the wedding is so close and milly is just going to be out of reach and even though she'll be family it wont be the same and I-

Nai takes milly out into the hallway during the ball to talk with her

Milly,,,, is exhausted

the night has been long, everyone is trying to talk with her or dance with her or congratulate her and while she is a social butterfly, she has a limit for political pleasantries

and now nai is trying to talk to her but he seems so flighty and nervous and she cant figure out whats going on

and then,,, he says "Don't... don't marry Vash"

and milly is SO LOST because he is the one whos been moving up all the dates and insisting that they get married ! nai would have them married right now if he could but he cant and...

oh

oh

it clicks in Milly's brain

and she confesses, "I don't want to marry Vash"

and then nai kisses her

and suddenly all those previous moments where he was acting weird and she felt those strange flutters in her guts are all aligning and she cant believe how happy it all makes her

AND THATS ALL YOU GET,,, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH ALREADY BECAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM

but lets just say you can look forward to hidden relationships, secret pining, military coups and broken families, as well as Milly looking hot in a flowy white shirt AND as a mermaid

[dailyoyo]

thabk yoi a lot dailyoyo your brains are very compelling to me it kind of makes me want to study you like ants . i quote you all the time like i tell my friends " i stole this sentiment / headcanon from a deranged yoyo tumblr account " . you are aspirational really Truly we need more dailyoyos in the world i cant stop thinking about lawyer yoyo now .... also i beg for more dissecting of yoyo and mew dynamics if ur Into That . theuve always been really interesting to me but honestly like 4 pieces of canonexist in jsr ever so

VERY DELIGHTFUL ASK TO GET. i love to hear that i have had a net impact in making people get weirder. its so important to me. making the jsr fandom worse one post at a time <3

a lot of the way i post in here is inspired by both my friends but also some of the crazy bitches (affectionate) ive seen around over in the dragon ball z fandom in particular, but really i think ANYONE in the world no matter the fandom has the god-given right to tear characters apart with their teeth and make them fail as fuck and really really really sick in the head in ways they were probably not intended to be read as in canon. Everypony out there get eviler!!!!!!!!!!!! Now.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LAWYER YOYO I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT TOO. hes fascinating to me in that like hes technically not a Bad Ending (MOST of that au technically isnt!) and yet objectively he is a worse outcome because in regular(paradox) canon theres an avenue for yoyo to heal and become less bastardous. because like he has genuine friends and positive interactions and reasons to Want to be more than a self serving shithead. and also hes 16 of course hes an asshole hes 16.

but with lawyer yoyo its like. Its too late. He grew up and he stayed like that and he does not care to change and he has no impetus to change. hes definitely living a safer and more comfortable life and he has much higher self-esteem but he is Staying dead inside. Like ok regular yoyo and lawyer yoyo are both mentally at the bottom of basically the same exact well but lawyer yoyo was like "fuck it" and built a house down there. do you get me

Oh fuck this post is getting so long and i havent even talked about mew and yoyo yet.

okay so liek. beat was yoyo's first proper Friend in the ggs (as opposed to "just tolerating him being around"). because beat kind of totally fell for yoyo's whole harmless schtick lmao. but mew was the first Real Friend in that she picked up on how much of a fake fuck yoyo was and decided to hang out with him anyway.

which. ADMITTEDLY. this was originally BECAUSE she was fascinated by yoyo being so insincere (for a while he was also really playing up the "ohoho i'm TOOOTALLY not a double agent" thing for shits and giggles even though he literally wasnt.). and as previously mentioned yoyo had a crush on her which is why he didnt realize mew could see right through him. honestly for a while he kind of thought he had totally had her under his thumb but the whole time mew was like "Awww hehe he thinks im only hanging out with him because of his manipulations, thats so cute ^_^" (<- DERANGED)

and in a way while they were already friends their friendship didnt Truly start until after yoyo confessed his love and was rejected. because like the whole thing was kind of a wakeup call for yoyo - mew had noticed his feelings all along and was waiting for him to say something Just to reject him, and like among normal people that would probably be a lot more hurtful but in that circumstance it was like... she'd outplayed him. easily. and he didn't even notice, but she's still here anyway. and she still wants to hang out with him even though she can tell the kind of person he is.

because the thing is like. mew may play up her innocence and naivety but she IS genuinely kind at heart. a lot of her strange desire to examine nasty people under a microscope is because of her desire to see the humanity in everyone, to understand Why people do the things they do. and she's not under any illusions that she can """Fix Him""", god knows she's not sure she can even "fix" herself, but she saw yoyo for what he was and could respect the survival mechanisms at play for what they were. (this is also why mew was so immediately like "idk Yoyo doesn't seem like that kind of person..." when the nt-3000 thing happened because. like. she Understood his modus operandi and that simply Wasn't It.)

and like when youre the kind of person who thinks that as soon as someone sees under your mask that they'll want you dead in a ditch, knowing someone who recognizes your mask and is just like "oh cool, i got one too" is kind of world-shaking. paradoxically them recognizing each others' insincerity makes them be a lot more sincere with each other.

Oh fuck this post long as hell. yoy

[sowthetide]

heyyyyyyyyy im back (this is TeaInABowl). this is a bit late i guess but i havent been online in a few days (✨family crisis✨) snd just got caught up in reading the other asks. i wish you luck with your own family issues, little brothers are just Like That sometimes (i would know).

honestly the quen-verse is real. and its fucking with my mind. but i also have been having brainworms abt how much the story would shift with genderbending other characters. i dont want this ask to get too long and i know this is a sideblog for your quen fic but oh gids can i talk abt it pleaseeee

also you must have put some sort of spell on this story, i think. bc (here it comes) i dont ship throbb. and i dont like genderbent aus. yet… here i stand (???) i dont even remember how u found this fic, but it has me rooting for a ship that i found annoying on a good day???? ok maybe i should clarify, i dont like genderbent aus in modern settings, but asoiaf is such a gendered world tgat theyre actually interesting if done right (as you have!!!) and i dont HATE throbb i just. wasnt very fond of it. but one thing i DO love is whatever sort of gender fuckery theon has going on, so when i saw your story i thought “screw it, who cares abt the pairing, hell be at war snyway lmao i wanna see how many more problems squidboy can have” but now i want him back???? come home???? wheres the boy?????? our boy???

as for song recs, i have too many, and probably need to compile them in a more cohesive ask. in the meantime, its not quen related but i dare you to listen to “house of gold” by twenty one pilots while thinking of catelyn and robb. i fucking dare you.

"I should have known better. Asha knew how it went with little brothers... A little brother may live to be a hundred, but he will always be a little brother." Sigh. Truer words have never been written. I hope your family issues work out too! We are Fellow Strugglers in that.

The Quenverse is so real!!!!!! It's something goddcoward and I have discussed at length, including (but not limited to) full genderbend Throbb (with Quenlyn & Robyn) and the Ironborn-Tully "Let's Fuck Nasty" Initiative (with increasingly unhinged pairing up of Greyjoys/Harlaws and Tullys. This includes Alannys/Catelyn, Rod the Reader/Brynden the Blackfish, Gwynesse/Lysa, Aeron/Edmure, etc.) goddcoward also has a bunch incredibly fun AUs, including what has been affectionately dubbed "sigil furries", where the Greyjoys are actual humanoid cephalopods and the Starks are werewolf-maxing. Not to mention goddcoward's AU take on Quobb with arranged marriage, which they're still working on... ;-)

PLEASE talk to me about your vision!!!! Also PLEASE send any song recs you've got!!!!

I'm so incredibly flattered that this fic got you to like Throbb, even just for the purposes of this story. Also, confession: I didn't really like genderbends either- that is, until I started writing this story lol. I think it's just because I didn't feel like genderbends were often well-handled in ASOIAF fics, even for a world as Gendered as Westeros? (Not to say they all suck, I've just run into a few that I thought were... Ungood.)

Theon's experience with gender is so incredibly fascinating, and the prospect of him being born female raises so many interesting questions about who he would even be (and thus this fic was born lol). See vivacissimx's theon's gender was always broken, which is prob the #1 Theon Gender primer.

I'm also glad you came around to Robb, haha. You're sounding like Quen in my inbox: "now i want him back???? come home???? wheres the boy?????? our boy???" For a long time, I was mostly interested in Robb as a compliment to Theon and Catelyn's characters, but I've really come to appreciate him in his own right. I can't wait for all the tender Quen-Robb moments in the endgame of this fic 🥲

[confessions-official]

Tw ed and possible depression?

I feel sick when I think about if I'm depressed or not. I dont like using that word, I havent earned it. I have a loving family and the best girlfriend in the world. I dont wanna die, I just dont wanna exist. I dont wanna do anything except smoke weed, Which helps things not seem so dim. It makes me feel less. Bored I guess. I sont wanna do anything. I dont wanna game, I dont wanna talk to my family, I dont wanna talk to my friends, I dont wanna talk to my girlfriend, I dont wanna draw, I dont wanna do my work, I dont wanna get out of bed. But I do. I know people who are depressed who cant make themself gwt out of bed.

I feel like a faker. I cant tell anyone I feel this way because it'd be unnecessary burden to them, And their lives are already hard enough without me adding to it. I don't want to tell anyone the bad stuff because then they'd think the same way, But mt life isnt even that bad. Its hard to say or send anything because my body just. Doesnt let me. I'll be trying to post a silent cry for help and automatically exit out and cancel the post. I'll write it all up and instead of hitting send I delete it all.

I dont even eat half the time anymore. I wait until its unbearable and affecting me to eat. I used to tell my gf because when she tells me to eat I do, But I stopped. I dont wanna bother her. Nobody notices either, Since in our house we usually only eat dinner together, And that's if my dad doesnt have to work. He leaves at 3 o'clock every day so its not like he can see if I'm eating or not.

Im doing better in school now, I was trying but. Now I'm not. It doesnt matter though. I dont even remember what grade I'm in. Being homeschooled means I never have to see or speak to anyone. Its what I wanted anyways. Less work. Less hours. Less effort lower goals yet higher outcomes. I had 3 F's almost constantly in school, Now I only have one, And the rest are A's and B's.

Its easy when you can search anything and everything up. If I have an essay I read the wiki page for whatever its about and I've only gotten 100%'s in english so far. My overall grade is a 100% for english actually

I just dont understand. I dont hate myself do I? I thought i finally loved myself. I thought i finally fixed it i fixed myself i was finally better i was normal. Theres no reaskn i should be feeling so desprately lost and so alone nd so. Sad

I'm sorry. I know this isnt the blog for this, I know this is for confessions but this is the only place I can say any of this. I couldnt tell anyone in my life that I dont wanna exist, Or that I think my brain snapped, Or that I have serious problems. I hate this. I just want someone to know and care. I just want someone to notice something is wrong. Itd make it so much fucking easier if I coulrnt jide behind the lie of 'im okay'

 

[everyman0]

touching base

here i am...standing in front of the house again.

i havent been here in months. i didnt exactly intend on coming back but it turns out theres some things i may have missed. information i didnt know i needed until very recently.

however, im not ready to go back in there just yet.

first id like to back track a little to what happened after i got that safe open, and how this has led me to returning to the house. ive summarized my conclusions in the previous entry...this is the full scoop. buckle in.

so, i went dark for a while after finding the safe. i wandered from abandoned house to abandoned house, mulling over my situation all the while. i kept an eye out for anything suspicious or interesting, but there was nothing. no ghost jeff, no cat, even the empty apparitions populating the stores in town seemed to be getting bored somehow. and neither evan nor habit showed up, of course.

i didnt stop posting because i was sad and giving up; instead, more so than anything else...i was becoming very, very angry.

at first i didnt fully understand why i was so mad, just that i no longer felt like crying over everything i'd already cried about. that well was drying up fast. i knew i had plenty of reasons to be angry, but each of them on their own couldnt truly encapsulate the raging flame of fury that was growing within me.

the thing is, i decided to leave the house to be better than the vinny i saw in the mirror, to find the answers for myself instead of waiting around for habit to finalize my fate for me. i wanted to take my control back because another version of me never did.

instead, i spent so long just...staring at that gun. i wondered what it could be used for, besides killing myself anyways. i read the papers about the house about a hundred times over and still, none of it was particularly relevant to me. it wouldnt have been relevant to anyone else either, which is why i decided not to share it - riveting, right? and the fireworks? i simply left them with the safe. what else was i supposed to do with those?

all of that was pretty useless shit on its own, shit a more depressed and inattentive me from a few months ago simply accepted. the real spit in the face came from the symbol on the bullets.

habit wanted me to see it, but why? it doesnt mean anything to me, to my knowledge. it probably should though, and theres some reason why i cant pick up on its power. its just another cruel reminder of how little i actually know about anything, despite this "true sight" i have.

why was no progress being made? because these tid-bits of information habit left behind arent puzzles, they are just crumbs to keep me distracted while hes perfecting his own plans. and all this time ive been thinking i was the one who was going to get ahead in the game.

i am furious, because i let him distract me again.

i let him waste my time, again.

i let him have months and months to plan my demise while ive been stuck on one stupid clue, again.

i let him scare me.

hurt me.

kill me.

even lose to me in another life. and in his own defeat, habit still won in a way. he gave up and i let him off scot free, just like that. im humiliated by it.

...

my plan begins at the house. habit's shit is probably still inside - i mean his actual belongings, not whatever he's been feeding me. im going to go through his stuff as well as check out the library. theres gotta be something more to find there.

i am ending this the way i want to.

>>

[definitelynotshouting]

hi! ive been binging your stuff on ao3 because it's like, super good and i love your ideas and writing anddd i had a question! so initially i was here for scarian, but youve got some dsmp fic on there that has also been included in the reading marathon and i was wondering in particular about the ghost tommy fic? would you be up for talking about any plans you mightve had for that story? it just awoke all my old sad feelings over ctommy (〒﹏〒) totally fine if not though! anways. eats ur writing <3

ANON

This is literally the sweetest compliment oh my gods... im genuinely so flattered that you've been marathon reading my stuff!!! its always such a pleasant shock to hear that people enjoy it, but liking it enough to binge read a bunch of my other works?? i am on the floor this is literally so nice

I wanna preface this by saying none of my dsmp works are abandoned!!! I almost never fully abandon fics-- i think the only one that i've ever chosen to abandon was my voltron fic, and that was for specific fandom experience reasons. Right now, all of my dsmp fics are just kinda on hold until i can get the motivation up to eventually finish them, but i know exactly where i want to go with each one.

So with that being said, you will be delighted to know that when the night cries is actually fully finished. The fic is written, i have all five chapters done. The only thing holding me back iiiiiis... the fact that the unpublished chapters are only rough draft. I freely admit i am very insecure about my rough draft writing, especially compared to what i post on ao3. It's been an incredibly huge leap for me to even post my rough draft work on here with minimal edits-- i havent gotten near to the point yet where i feel confident posting them to ao3, which is kind of a shame considering a heart choked full with wanting, my first ever work for dsmp, is a 14k wip that has never seen the light of day 😭😭😭😭

My final drafting process is intensive. I've made a few posts about this before, but i rewrite my rough drafts entirely from the ground up, using a very strict personal style guide i've developed over the years, and while it produces quality i can be proud of, it does,,, take a while 😅😅😅 a really long while. This is why the 7k scarian fic i finished months ago hasnt been posted yet lmao

So!! Rest assured i am actually picking at wtnc chapter 3 here and there!!! It's completed, i just need to rewrite it, but unfortunately my wilbur chapters are always my goddamn problem children when it comes to editing 😭😭 akdneks sorry this got so lengthy anon, but i really wanted to reassure you that wtnc isn't abandoned. Literally just for you im gonna go poke at it rn and see if i can get any more progress done, because gods know i want it published just as much as the people waiting for updates presumably do❤️❤️❤️

[imsorryithurts]

im torn between writing essays on what the symbolism on disco elysium means to me and writing fics in which i shake the shit out of those middle aged men in a jar until they threw up. i can not choose both im swamped with work and other junk 😭

anyway, glad to see another DE whump enjoyers, if you had any fic recs please please please tell me (esp if its kim centric, i really like the caretaking reversal trope)

I FEEL YOU. DE is such a deep and beautiful game but also. I want Kim's picture framed on my wall like that one person in the news.

I remember thinking "I'm not going to fandom-fy this. I will enjoy this like a normal adult person". Which is pretty good, but then you have the writers posting stuff like "yeah, I think Jean and Harry fucked", and fan artists posting the characters as c.alico critters, and fanfiction writers writing literal novels as fan sequels, how can I resist??

But then someone comes and does a deep analysis of themes, characters and motifs and I'm like "damn. should I be poor meow meowing these men?"

Anyway, I guess the conclusion I came to was:

DE is such an amazing game and it leaves space for both brain rot and intellectual reading. It's not often I get this involved with media that tackles complex and real issues and criticisms, with characters that are not really great people but they are so incredibly charismatic you forget, and at the same time makes silly jokes, has an idle animation of them cracking each other's backs and makes you want to pet these greasy/balding middle aged men. So I'm managing to balance both Fandom Brain and Enjoyer of the Actual Game and it's Brilliance Brain so far. I guess what I'm trying to say is that most fandoms I'm in I don't take the media so seriously, but I absolutely would submerge myself in a pool of DE source material and be serious about it.

I don't know. I'm not rusty with words. All I know is DE good, and I want to see them hurt.

I'll rec some fics under the cut so this doesn't get too long!

So, you might have already filtered AO3 by "whump" and "hurt/comfort" and found these. But here are some I really enjoyed and have saved:

Tenth of a Second by SupposedtobeWriting

AU where Kim gets shot after the tribunal and Harry is the one that takes care of him. One of the first fics I came across when I first searched the fandom tag. One of my favorites, I remember having to pace myself while reading it to make it last longer!

Small Light in a Dark City by SupposedToBeWriting

Kim has a nightmare after the case. More psychological whump.

An Impression of Smoke by nicpic

I'm just going to copy the tags: kim is sick, jean is soft, That's it, that's the fic

Also really like this one :) The Day After comes before in the series, and it's also fun, just short and lighter on the whump.

nicpic also has Blood on Snow, it's a bit more heavy on the hurt, and Jean is the hurt one. Plus, they seem to have some really cool fics I havent gotten around to reading yet.

In sync by DistressPlop

Tribunal aftermath, Harry whump, with some Kim psychological whump. I remember reading this, but I must have read it in bed before sleeping because I don't remember much about it lol. Guess I'll get to enjoy it fresh one more time.

sans sommeil by narramin

Kim, who was undercover until then, shows up hurt at Jean's door. Now that I think about it, this one might have been one of the first fics I read. I was finishing up this list and my brain went "wait what about that undercover Kim one?" and I had to search for it, because I read it before making my ao3 account. I don't remember much about it, except that I really liked the whump in it.

Ace's (All-Time) Low by new_career_in_business

Kim shows up hurt at Harry's door. TW for homophobia

I believe Ace's (All-Time) Low was the last one I read before deciding to not pick up new ones because I really need to focus on studying for the admittance test of the master's program I want to get in. So now I only have a bunch marked for later, both whump and non-whump. Maybe I'll do an updated list in the future, I'd like to have a neat little list so I can revisit them easily :).

Happy reading, and feel free to rec back! Here's to more DE whump in our lives! *raises glass*

[aerequets]

the perfect family

a/n: another one sitting, 1 AM fic! (its actually 1:30 right now but.)

again, no rereading, no beta, bla bla............ yall know the drill. enjoy!

WAIT WAIT first i want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the love, its actually insane. i havent been able to reply to all your reviews but just know i reread them ALL multiple times and giggle and save them to look at later. i love all your reviews so much yall have no idea. im glad people enjoy my writing!!

okay now enjoy haha

Rating: T

read on ao3

Summary: Twilight had never been this tired in his whole life. He’s used to grueling missions. He’s used to getting a meager few hours of sleep per night. He’s used to being in a perpetual state of anxiety and stomach-achiness. But being Loid Forger is something else entirely. Being a family man, a parent, is no joke.

Or: Twilight has a dream about the "perfect" family.

Twilight had never been this tired in his whole life. 

He’s used to grueling missions. He’s used to getting a meager few hours of sleep per night. He’s used to being in a perpetual state of anxiety and stomach-achiness. 

But being Loid Forger is something else entirely. Being a family man, a parent, is no joke. 

First off, Anya almost got another Tonitrus at school earlier that day. Fiona had relayed to him via his earpiece that Yor had left a message on his office phone that Henderson had called her about Anya using some colorful language. The teacher was willing to discuss before taking further action since Anya claimed he’d misheard. Yor was apologetic and said her break was over and she was needed at work, so would he please go see Anya if he had the time (Fiona didn’t relay it in as kind terms, but Loid could imagine). Loid, who was in the middle of a warehouse stakeout, had to shimmy out of the vents in his best approximation of a hurried worm while trying not to have a conniption above his targets’ heads. 

When he finally got to the school, changed into ordinary work clothes and hyperventilation in check, he had to meet a sheepish Anya, who was busy trying to convince Henderson that she’d called Damian “sofa king stupid, like the evil villain Sofa King from Bondman (nonexistent), who is stupid”. She’d crafted a whole backstory for the villain and his love for all manners of seating furniture, which was what eventually sent him to his doom as he watched his favorite armchair get run over by a car. Somehow. 

In other circumstances, Loid would be impressed at the intricate lie—and equally concerned that she was able to think of it—but at that moment he was busy trying not to shit his pants from the way his heart dropped into his ass. Where had she learned that language?! It was a huge concern that he couldn’t even address because he had to back her play and convince Henderson that, yes, Anya didn’t cuss, heavens no, where would she possibly have learned that? How inelegant! 

Anya got off with a warning from the teacher to not call others stupid. Loid considered reprimanding her once they left the office, but thought it best to wait until she finished the school day and returned home to tell her she was grounded.

Anya inexplicably threw a tantrum right then. “I didn’t get a bolt,” she wailed. “Why should I be punished?!” He was torn between trying to explain that he hadn’t even punished her—yet—and that calling others ‘sofa king stupid’ was not acceptable in any capacity. In the end, Anya yelled that she hated him and ran off to join Becky, who had been watching from afar with a strangely large smile on her face. 

So that went swimmingly. 

He went back to resume his stakeout, but by that time everyone had left the warehouse and he had no new information to show for it. He ended up going home early, stomach aching this time in anticipation of Handler’s lethal disapproval. When Anya arrived home from school, all she did was send him a nasty glare (and stick her tongue out at him when she thought he wasn’t looking) before slamming the door to her room. To make matters worse, Yor had told him that morning that she’d be home late. It was embarrassing to admit, but he had no idea how to navigate Anya’s tantrums without her around. Usually he and Yor made a team wherein she calmed down and soothed Anya while he explained their perspective. He had a feeling that if he tried to soothe Anya she would call him a big liar. And maybe some other choice words, which he still didn’t know how she learned, if she was feeling extra mad. 

When Yor returned, he was just about finished cooking supper. He was still at the stove when he heard the door open, so he called out a hello from the kitchen. When he didn’t hear a response, he turned off the heat and stepped out to see Yor, standing petrified by the door. There was a spider in the entryway. 

“Oh,” he said. Yor could paralyze a cow, but she couldn’t stand bugs. “Hold on, I’ll get a glass—” But at that moment, the spider scuttled a little to the right, eliciting a shriek from Yor. Before Loid could even blink, her shoe was slamming down onto the bug.

And through the floorboards.

She stood with her foot through the floor for a few seconds, him watching with a slack jaw, before she gingerly lifted it out of the hole. The sheer force had caused cracks to spread out all the way to where he was standing.  

“I—I—” Her mouth was opening and closing, hands fluttering helplessly. She looked mortified. “I’m so…sorry…” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, hardly hearing the words coming out of his own mouth. His eyes stayed fixated on the saucer-sized hole in the ground. A mallet would probably have done less damage. “Those floorboards needed replacing anyway.”

Maybe it was something in his voice, but Yor didn’t insist like she usually would. Instead, she quietly asked, “Where’s Anya?”

He sighed that time, knowing he failed to keep the tiredness out of it. “Her room. She’s angry with me.” 

Yor dipped her head. She could probably approximate what had happened since Henderson had explained the situation to her first, which Loid was glad about because he didn’t feel like rehashing every disastrous detail from that meeting. “I’ll go talk to her.” 

He should have been more relieved, but instead he felt like all the energy was sucked out of him once she left. He cast one last glance at the hole in the floor before heading to the living room to slump down on the couch. 

Every normal family had bad days, he knew. But he couldn’t fool himself into thinking any of this was normal. His daughter had mysteriously obtained a foul mouth and repeatedly came close to demerits. Her teacher probably thought their whole family was one giant red flag. His wife could crush wood beneath her foot like dry leaves. Rarely did he ever think this operation was hopeless, but right now it was like a suffocating reminder weighing down on his shoulders. Everything was wrong. 

Nothing about this mission was going how he thought it would. His family was nothing like the people that the Forgers were required to be on paper. He’d been unwillingly flying by the seat of his pants until now. It was exhausting. His luck had to run out sooner or later, and he’d gotten used to relying on it.

These were the last things Loid thought as he nodded off. 

…

“Papa? Papa, wake up!” Small hands gently patted his cheek. He furrowed his brows before slowly opening his eyes with a low groan. He was met with the sight of large green eyes close to his face. 

“Anya?” Had he fallen asleep? Concerning, but no matter—it looked like Yor had talked to Anya and managed to calm her down. He sat up and rubbed at his face before realizing three things. 

One, he was not on the sofa. He was on a bed. What time was it? They hadn’t eaten supper yet—had Yor decided to just carry him into his room? An embarrassing thought, especially since that meant he’d somehow stayed asleep through the whole thing. How was he this lax when the day had been so disastrous? 

Second, a quick examination of the room revealed that it wasn’t his room at all. It was Yor’s. Maybe she thought it would be inappropriate to enter his room without permission and had taken him to her own room instead. It was a reasonable explanation that he was ready to accept before he noticed his clothes strewn about a chair in the corner. On the nightstand next to her bed were his glasses and his meds.

…Why were his things in her room? 

Before he could even start getting into that, though, there was the third thing, odd enough to put pause on the room dilemma for the moment. 

Anya’s head was devoid of her usual hair ornaments, the same ones she never took off or let anyone—including him and Yor—touch. Her head looked strangely empty without them. He must have looked baffled, because Anya tilted her (smooth, cone-free) head. 

“What’s wrong, Papa?” 

“Um…” He blinked a couple times as if that would put the cones back on her head and the room to rights. It didn’t. “My room? Your hair…?”

Anya squinted, clearly confused. At that moment, the door creaked open and Yor stepped in, causing him to jump a little. She was wearing an apron and brandishing a spatula. “Anya? Is Papa not waking up?”

“His eyes opened, but I think he’s still sleeping,” she stated. Yor laughed. 

“Alright, you go and start eating breakfast. I made omelette.” Loid’s eyes widened—Yor had made breakfast?!—but, to his neverending surprise, Anya excitedly whooped before running out of the room. 

What on earth was going on?

“You must have had a busy day yesterday,” Yor said as she approached him. He subconsciously tensed as he watched her approach, heartbeat quickening. She was looking at him…differently. “You’re usually up before me.”

“Ah…I guess,” he said vaguely. He had to figure out what exactly was going on. “How does Anya feel about yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” Yor frowned. “What happened yesterday?”

“You don’t remember? The… the call?”

She placed a hand on his forehead. He froze—she never initiated contact first. Never so casually. She retracted her hand with a thoughtful hum. “No fever. I guess Anya was right, you really are still half asleep.”

His brain couldn’t make sense of what was happening. He was a man who operated on logic and reason, and nothing about the current situation made any sense. So, naturally, all that left his mouth was an unintelligent “Wuh?” 

She giggled. “Oh, you’re so cute in the morning.”

What? 

She leaned down and pecked him on the lips. “Come and eat before it gets cold.”

What? 

Mercifully, she left at that moment, so she didn’t see him short-circuiting. Okay, calm down, he commanded himself through his racing heart and sweating hands. It was ridiculous, he never had such extreme physical reactions, but to be fair. What just happened?! 

Calm down, he thought again, and this time his heartbeat eased slightly. He would do what always helped him calm down: go over the details and focus on what he knew. So here were the things he knew: it looked like he was in Yor’s room, which they may be sharing. Somehow, the events of the previous day hadn’t passed, as Anya wasn’t angry and Yor didn’t remember. Anya didn’t have those cones on her head. Yor could cook. Yor could kiss. 

Was he in a coma? 

No, that was ridiculous… but so was everything else. Nothing made sense. He mulled over it in bed before suddenly remembering—his mission log! He wrote everything that happened in that secret log. If, by chance, he had somehow been drugged and knocked out by an enemy organization and was currently experiencing hallucinations in a torture facility, his mission log might indicate some plans to go to said enemy organization and he would finally have an explanation. 

He got out of bed and opened the closet. He was sharing it with Yor, half of her clothes hanging on one side and his on the other. Ignoring the way that unsettled him, he knelt down and rooted around in his sock drawer. He pulled out an argyle sock with a loose thread and reached inside, praying. His prayers were answered when his fingers met cool metal. The key was there. He got up and reached inside the closet for his briefcase next. After unlocking it with the key and entering the 26-digit code, he clicked the case open and sifted through various forms of ammunition and explosives before pulling out the log, located at the very bottom. Of course, the whole thing was written in 3 layers of code, but there was no such thing as being too careful. 

He flipped to the previous day’s log, expecting to see the same writing he’d put down in the morning and maybe an extra paragraph if he was lucky, but he paused. 

It was all different. 

‘Today went well, like usual. Anya did well at school. Closeness with Damian questionable, but successfully transferred gift. Yor had work function. Attended and put up successful front of upper class couple. Five stellas left. Estimated time of Strix completion roughly three months from now.’ 

There were too many things in that short statement for him to consider. ‘Today went well like usual’? Since when was that usual? 

And five Stellas left? That meant Anya had already obtained three Stella stars! It should have made him overjoyed, but he was just baffled. Had WISE finally snapped and pulled every string in the last night? He couldn’t see any other way for Anya to have somehow gotten two more stars than she’d had yesterday.

 And the last thing—Strix to be completed three months from now? Last month, Handler had told him that they were hoping to complete the operation within four months. He’d been so bad at lying that he could achieve that timeframe that Handler had snapped at him. But here, his log indicated that he was on track with WISE’s expectations. That everything was going according to plan. 

He sat on the floor and started from the beginning of the log. He was a fast reader and had photographic memory, but even he had to reread some parts several times in disbelief. 

Anya was adopted from the same orphanage, but none of her eccentricities were listed down. In fact, all he’d written was that she was well-behaved and performed well in school. What about her speech? What about her eclectic facial expressions? What about her love for peanuts, or her hate for carrots, or her uncanny ability to recognize his thoughts, or how she drove him mad, or how she made him proud?

As for Yor, he’d met her at that same party, but had correctly introduced himself as her boyfriend. Afterwards, they had actually started dating, and Loid waited a period of three months (short, but surely more appropriate than three hours) before proposing to Yor at a fancy restaurant. Romantic enough, the log read, to fool both passerby and Yor. 

That was why they shared a room, and why she’d kissed him. Here, wherever he was, he was not in a mutually beneficial arrangement with Yor. She thought they were actually married, possibly even loved him—which was what he had originally planned for when first trying to find a wife. 

The bitter taste in his mouth at that realization was not lost on him.

Was it possible he was dreaming? He pinched his arm. If this was a dream, it wasn’t one he could force himself out of. At least for now, he had to deal with the unfamiliar family outside his door. It seemed, at least, that he was still a spy and that Strix was still going on, so perhaps he could go to Handler and try to get some facts straight. Dream or not, he was not about to stumble around not knowing what was going on around him. 

He heard Yor’s footsteps outside the door. Another thing for him to note down in his mind: she didn’t have the unparalleled ability to catch him by surprise here. He quickly closed the briefcase and shoved it back in the closet as Yor poked her head in the room.

“Loid? Are you going to eat?” 

“Sorry, I just knocked some shirts off their hangers and was putting them back up,” he said smoothly. He got up and brushed himself off. “I’m coming.”

She sent him another smile before leaving again. He swallowed. Did they usually kiss? She seemed to do it with ease. He suddenly froze and looked back at the bed.

Did they…?

But the Twilight in the log wasn’t him. That Twilight had fooled Yor. That Twilight was a better spy than him. That Twilight made him angry. If he took advantage of Yor…

But what was he thinking? It was what he’d done many times before. Why was it different now? 

He was giving himself a headache with all the difficult questions, so he put them aside for the moment and went outside to eat. The omelette was perfect. Anya had impeccable table manners. Bond, he noticed, sat attentively at the door like a guard-dog instead of begging for scraps at the table like he usually did. 

It was the perfect family for the mission. So why did he feel so unnerved? 

“Ugh.” At Yor’s grunt, he turned to see her hand clenched over a jar of jelly. She was twisting with all her might, but the lid wouldn’t come loose. After a few seconds she gave up and sent him a sheepish smile. “Could you get this for me?”

“Oh… sure.” He twisted the jar open with ease. Yor could pulverize a jar like this between her pointer finger and thumb. This Yor gratefully took the opened jar from him with soft thanks. 

Breakfast passed peacefully. Anya hadn’t overslept, so she had time to neatly finish her food and gather her things for school. He and Yor got ready for work in the same room. He stared at his feet the whole time. They walked Anya to the bus, where she cheerfully bid them goodbye.

“I’ll see you later at home then,” Yor said, turning to him once Anya’s bus had vanished into the distance. He could tell what was coming this time and prepared himself for her kiss. This one was longer, long enough for him to close his eyes and shudder when she pulled away. 

She placed a hand on his cheek, a divot between her brows. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

He swallowed, mouth dry. Everything was perfect. His daughter was a pleasant, well-mannered child who performed in school. His wife kissed him good morning and goodbye. He was a spy executing his mission without a hitch. 

Everything was wrong. 

But the one thing that was the same was that he was a liar, so he leaned his face into her palm and placed his hand over hers. It was fascinating to see, the things he could do here that he’d only had fleeting thoughts of before. Her face flushed, but no more than a wife’s face would flush at an ordinary act of affection from her husband. “Yes,” he lied. “I would.”

…

Unfortunately, no details were revealed by WISE like he’d hoped. Instead, he was greeted with a pleased Handler when he entered her office. He thought she might be putting up an act to scare him later until she spoke. 

“Good job with the third star,” she told him. “Let’s try getting her fourth one in the arts. It’s good to be well rounded.” 

“The arts,” he repeated. He remembered her horrid cow drawing. Handler pulled out a folder from her desk. 

“Yes. There’s an art contest coming up soon, isn’t there? She can enter any of these pieces for the first-to-third grade group. They’re quite good.” 

He opened the folder and looked at the pictures of the artworks inside. Accurate, if not slightly lopsided, depictions of prominent figures. Landscape watercolors with good usage of color and perspective. A few sloppy but intelligently framed still-lifes of fruit. 

He thought he preferred the horrid cow. All he said out loud, though, was “Understood.”

“Good. Dismissed.” 

Usually his debriefings with Handler lasted much longer, because they had so many things to go over and attempt to fix or counteract. This was an ideal situation, one in which she was pleased and the meeting went smoothly. 

It did nothing to ease the sense of crookedness that had pervaded him all day.

When he got home, Yor was already there. This Yor, it seemed like, didn’t have to work late shifts. She was humming in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. It smelled delicious, but he wasn’t sure if his stomach grumbled or churned. 

“Oh! Welcome back.” When she kissed him this time, he was able to keep himself together enough to reciprocate the appropriate amount and smile at her when she pulled back. “I’m making potato soup.”

“Smells good,” he said. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Help?” She cocked her head. “Don’t worry about that, you just got back from work! You should relax. Anya will be back soon.”

He didn’t want to sit alone with his thoughts, not to mention that he was used to cooking supper and had actually come to enjoy it. But Yor might think something was off if he pushed. She might put her hand on his face again, look at him with that divot between her eyebrows. He probably wouldn’t be able to take that. So he picked his poison and sat in the living room where Bond was resting. Usually the hound liked to rest by Loid’s feet when he returned from work, but this Bond remained in the corner. It was a small detail, but one he noticed nonetheless. 

About twenty minutes later, Anya entered the apartment. “I’m home!” 

“Welcome home!” Yor came out of the kitchen to hug Anya. “How was school?”

“Good! I got an A on the science test!”

“Wow!” 

“There’s also an art contest,” she added. “I want to enter!” 

“Go for it, your artwork is amazing!” 

Over dinner, which tasted as good as it smelled, everyone shared their days. Anya’s school tales were nothing out of the usual for a normal child. Yor’s work stories were perfectly normal for a civil worker. Loid shared select details from his own mundane psychiatry. Dinner was civil, and normal. It was all normal. 

After dinner, Anya studied mathematics. This Anya didn’t beg to watch Spy Wars—he wasn’t sure if she watched at all. This Anya didn’t struggle with fractions. This Anya didn’t beg to stay up past her bedtime and ran to the bathroom when Yor told her it was time to wash up. When he tucked this Anya in and asked if she wanted her chimera plushie, she sent him an incredulous look. 

“I don’t sleep with that anymore, Papa,” she said. A little belatedly, he realized that the penguin plushie he won for her was missing from her room, too. 

Maybe the other Twilight never got that plushie for her at all. That thought made him feel as hollow as the circle of Anya’s arms. 

He bid her goodnight and washed up for bed himself. When he returned to his room, he froze.

Yor was on their bed, reading a book. She was wearing a nightgown. It wasn’t particularly revealing or racy, but it was nothing a woman would wear in front of someone she wasn’t married to. At least, not in the real sense. She glanced up at him and shut the book. “Loid? What’s the matter?”

“I…” His mouth was parched as his fears from that morning came barrelling back into his head. What did the other Twilight do with this Yor? How? How did he lay with her at night without feeling like he was going to throw up at the very thought? 

He could imagine an answer now, though. It was because that Twilight was the ideal spy, with the ideal family, completing his mission in the most ideal way possible. That Twilight never made any mistakes; that Twilight adopted the perfect child to complete Strix, properly romanced a woman, and treated her like his wife. In every sense. And because that Twilight was the perfect spy, he would lay with Yor, kiss her, and would definitely be able to toss her aside in three months. 

“You’ve been off all day,” Yor said as she approached him. He froze, eyes locked on the wall. Her hands came on the side of his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Really, Loid, what is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

I haven’t told you anything, he wanted to shout. I’ve been lying. He lied. I did. 

At his silence, she leaned up and kissed him. The first three kisses from that day were short, if not sweet. This one was long. Languid. It was impossibly warm and felt impossibly good as she raked her fingers through his scalp. It pulled his heart to his throat when she pulled away just a breath, eyes lidded. “You’re stressed. Come to bed.” 

It was when she leaned up again that he’d had enough. Gently, but firmly, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, trying not to break under the hurt look she was giving him. Desire and disgust roiled through him in waves.

He could not. He would not. It didn’t matter what the other Twilight had done, or if this was a dream or hallucination. He wouldn’t do this with Yor, not when she didn’t know anything. Maybe it was just him losing his touch, or maybe he had a soft spot for Yor that he was still refusing to acknowledge, but she deserved better than a liar. Even if that might be to the detriment of the mission. 

“I remembered I have some things to finish up for work,” he said. “Don’t worry about me and go to sleep. I’ll join you soon.” He quickly collected his things and left the room so he wouldn’t be able to see her expression. Outside, he spread his things out on the coffee table before lying down on the sofa. 

Please be a dream. Please be a dream. He shifted and closed his eyes. He didn’t think he would doze off, but he must have been more tired than he thought, because soon everything went silent.

…

“Papa? Papa, wake up!” Small hands poked his stomach before a bigger weight landed on him. He let out an ‘oof’. 

“Anya, don’t jump on him!” 

Before his eyes were even fully open, the details of what had just transpired flashed through his mind. His heart skipped a beat as he blinked and looked to the side.

Large green eyes. And those black horns. Her horns! 

Anya furrowed her brows and raised a hand to those hair ornaments as if she’d heard his thoughts. He could almost laugh. There was that uncanny reaction to his thoughts. 

“Loid? Are you okay?” He looked up and had to remember to breathe. Yor was smiling at him, kind and gentle as ever. She also stood a pace away, making sure not to lean over him. It made for a strange mix of yearning and relief in his chest, but it was leagues better than her believing in a lie about their marriage. 

He looked around. He was on the sofa in his day clothes. The scent of the supper he’d prepared hung in the air. In the entryway, a rug conspicuously covered the place where the hole would be. And Anya looked guilty. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. He was even too relieved to do his usual mental spiel of how spies would never doze off in front of others. “I was just tired and fell asleep for a bit. Did you two talk?”

Yor sent Anya a meaningful look. She shuffled and pulled at the hem of her dress. “‘m sorry, Papa. I’m sorry I was so bad to Damian, and I lied, and I almost got a bolt, and I was mean to you…” She looked up and her eyes were already welling up, snot dripping from her nose. “I’m sorry I was so bad today!” 

She rushed into his chest, bawling and getting snot all over his vest. He didn’t care. He smoothed a hand over her back and let himself smile. She was loud, messy, and erratic. 

This was his daughter. Anya was perfect this way. 

“As long as you understand why what you did wasn’t good,” he said to her. “I forgive you, Anya.”

After she calmed down a bit, he looked up at Yor. “Should we have supper?” 

“Ah, yes.” As they got up, Anya holding onto Loid’s leg, Yor gestured to the rug by the entryway. An embarrassed flush was aglow on her face. “Um… also… do you remember that old toaster you were going to toss out?”

“The toaster?” Loid blinked. “Yes, why?” 

“Well…since you were going to throw it away anyways, I thought…” She trailed off and decided to go over to the rug instead. She peeled it back to reveal a hunk of metal squished and flattened into the hole. “S-so it’s not a danger anymore. I swear I’ll fix it for real, but just for now—I hope you don’t mind, I—”

A laugh bursted out of Loid before he could stop it. Anya and Yor both looked up at him with the same curious expression that only seemed to swell his heart even more. 

“It’s perfect, Yor.” 

And it was. It was unconventional, jarring, and definitely strange, but it was stronger for it. And he rather liked the way it looked. 

[vngelgyu]

can i kiss you?

this fic contains 18+ content. minors do not interact.

☆ pairing - afab!reader x yeonjun

☆ warnings - first kiss, fingering

☆ word count - .8k

☆ genre - smut/fluff

☆ description - a few first times with yeonjun

☆ tags - @sweethyuka @sweetiehyuka @en-boyz @bluesoobinnie @fallinforwoo @loverhyunn @moonacholy

☆ authors note - i didnt proof read this, its been sitting in my drafts for like 4 months.

the room was silent as you and yeonjun layed together in your bed. it was one of his rare days off and he decided to spend it with you. you were spooning under your blanket, his body pressed against yours and if it werent for the circles he was rubbing against your clothed stomach, you would would have thought he was sleeping.

"y/n?" he said quietly, not sure if you had dozed off or not.

you slowly turned in his arms until you were facing him.

"can i kiss you?" he asked. you could hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, which was odd because yeonjun was usually more confident and straightforward.

you furrowed your eyebrows and asked "why are you asking me?"

"well.. its just that we havent kissed yet even though weve been dating for a while now and i was thinking that maybe you just didnt want me to kiss you."

you slightly shook your head in disagreement and then said "junnie, i do want you to. i just havent had my first kiss yet and so i was kind of waiting for you to do it? i dont know really.."

yeonjun smiled and then asked "can i do it now?" and you nodded.

he pressed his lips gently against yours and then pulled away, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.

unsatisfied, you frowned and asked "whyd you stop?"

without saying anything, he kissed you again, this time with a bit more pressure. you could feel his arms tightening around you as he pulled you flush against his body. he swiped his tongue against your lip and you parted yours, letting his tongue slip inside.

as yeonjun kissed you deeply, you could feel a slight pressure in your lower stomach as your body felt slightly more sensitive and a little tingly. you were suddenly very aware of yeonjuns hands which were pressed firmly against your back. you wondered what they would feel like on other parts of your body. you had only held hands and cuddled with yeonjun which means that he kept his hands in appropriate areas at all times, never wanting to risk making you uncomfortable. but at this moment in time, all you could think about were his hands going lower until they met your core.

as if he was able to read your mind, yeonjun pulled away and caught is breath before asking "can i touch you?"

you nodded and yeonjun removed himself  from your embrace before pulling the blanket away from you and gently pushing you down on your back.

he layed next to you, propped up on one arm, and kissed you again as his other hand ran over the expanse of your clothed body until it reached your pelvic bone but it didnt move any lower to your disappointment. you let out a small whine and placed your hand over his before pushing it down lower to where you wanted it.

your boyfriend quickly pulled away from the kiss and tried to move his hand away but you held it against your heat as your hips gently rocked against it, needing some type of friction to try to ease the feeling between your legs.

"jun.. touch me please" you said quietly

"are you sure?" he asked you

you nodded and he pressed his lips against your temple as he rubbed his palm against you, eliciting a small moan from you.

"more" you sighed, letting your eyes drift closed.

yeonjun stopped and removed his hand before sliding it into your shorts and panties. his fingers finally met the spot you wanted him the most and he began slowly circling 2 fingers around your clit.

yeonjun peppered your face with gentle kisses as he continued, waiting for more instruction from you.

"inside.. please jun" you moaned

yeonjun quickly complied and sunk one of his fingers into your core, pumping in and out a few times before sliding in another. he began scissoring his fingers inside you, pressing against your walls as you moaned his name. you couldnt lie and say that you hadnt thought about this exact experience before but you never imagined it would feel as good as it did. there was a new feeling bubbling in your lower stomach as yeonjun started curling his fingers inside you everytime he pushed them deeply into you.

"do you want me to go faster?" he asked you, loving the way your body was reacting to him

you nodded and he sped up, pumping his fingers into you with a new found speed and urgency, wanting to make you cum on his fingers.

your hand squeezed his arm as your orgasm washed over you, but he didnt stop until you finished.

yeonjun pulled his fingers out of you slowly and then out of your shorts before sucking them clean and then placing another quick kiss on your lips.

he rolled onto his back, gesturing for you to rest your head on his chest. once you did, he covered you back up with the blanket and asked "did it feel good?"

you gave him a quiet "mhm" and closed your eyes, feeling comforted by his warmth.

[yengyangyo]

berry | k.s.w

pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers

summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.

word count: 1.9k

note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo

-

you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.

he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.

so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.

until he couldnt take it anymore.

you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.

"found ya!"

sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.

sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.

"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"

you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.

"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"

sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.

"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"

sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.

"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.

"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.

"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"

-

you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.

you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.

sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.

"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.

"hey look at me,"

you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.

"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"

silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.

its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.

that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.

on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.

sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.

at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.

you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.

"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"

he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.

"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"

you smiled, this time sincerely at him.

"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"

he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"

you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.

"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"

"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"

you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.

"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"

you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.

"does he know about your feelings?"

you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.

"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"

you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"

its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.

"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"

you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.

"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"

"you'll find out soon,"

-

sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.

"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"

he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.

"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"

sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.

"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.

"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"

you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.

"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"

you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.

"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"

sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.

"i like you,"

you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.

"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"

"sunwoo-"

"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"

at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.

"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.

you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.

"sunwoo its you,"

"what?"

"i love you too,"

you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.

"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.

you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.

"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"

"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.

"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.

"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"

[miraneko19]

Okay, been at least 24 hours since the chapter release now but still stop reading if you dont want spoilers for One Piece Chapter 1060!

First, what everyone is talking about basically- can we PLEASE stop getting Sabo caught up in explosions?? Please?? Seriously?? The mans been through ENOUGH of these, how much explosion trauma from the world government until theyre satisfied!! He just keeps dying and its time to stop this madness, give him a break and an entire bottle of champagne!!

but surprisingly im not all THAT worried about Sabo.. theres a part of me that just KNOWS theres something going on there. Sabo made it out and got away, but got away from WHAT is my question?? At first when the spoilers came out, between the new pacifistas and the supposed thundering I started freaking out because I thought Enel was coming back. But now after seeing the chapter.. it looks a lot MORE like an ancient weapon?? I always thought the WG had uranus on their side, though I didnt know HOW to solidify that in my head since all the ancient weapons are supposed to be PEOPLE. Does that mean Imu is Uranus?? Or someone else all together, WHAT is going on here?? Especially since ancient weapons so FAR have had control over some kind of creatures: Podeidon -> sea kings

Pluton -> Zunesha/giant elephants (? Unconfirmed)

Uranus -> ????

Yet, throughout all this, this chapter was SUCH a wild ride that my mind hadnt even been occupied by these by the time I finished it!! No, i was LOSING my fucking SHIT over Luffys dream!! Like YOUNG MAN what do you MEAN youve had another dream BESIDES being the pirate king and becoming the freest man in the world?!? MY BRAIN had been in SHAMBLES trying to figure OUT what the hell is going on!! But my panicking lasted a good 30min before I remembered.. WAIT, right, I still havent looked it up to confirm because lazy but wasnt Joy Boys dream something about uniting all of the races?? Which is why he tried so hard to bring the fishmen to the sun?? Thinking about that, it would make sense if Luffys devil fruit, not long after Luffy had eaten it, sort of confessed that dream subconsciously to his mind only for Luffy to take it on and decide to make it come TRUE. And it makes SENSE, because imagine this seven year old telling you with such DETERMINATION that they wanted to hold a party with EVERYONE in the world??? Shanks would definitely laugh himself to tears over that, it sounds CRAZY but its so luffy and him being HIM.. Luffy could do it. Unite all the races and encourage a party- who knows, maybe the reveal of that dream is WHY Uta was now introduced, as someone who can also unite people through song. These are my thoughts and predictions so far, ALTHOUGH.. Zoro also bringing up not underestimating vivi like Luffy had done for Ace like. BRO

ONE, Ace was WAAYYY stronger than Luffy at the time he wouldve just dragged his older brother DOWN big time

And TWO, even WITHOUT that, look at how WELL that went in the FIRST PLACE?? The mans traumatized!! Of course he would want to help vivi, and not ONLY that, as much as I adore vivi and want to put MAD respect on her strength, it IS the job of a pirate captain to GO to their crew whenever they are in danger!! Let him go you stupid mossman im supposed to love!! Jajwkahsgsjwkjwksjshdaagdjee

Ive been SCREAMING and my minds going to keep screaming until the next chapter comes!!

[komoreangel]

𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐪

pairings: xiao, childe, and diluc x gn!reader (separate) 

scenario: you’re very tired today, and your boyfriend makes such a nice pillow

request: Hi! I just found your blog and your writing is just incredible! Could I request falling asleep on their lap for Xiao, Childe, and Diluc?

genre: im running out of ways to say fluff but fluff 100% 

xiao 

you two would probably be sitting on the roof of the wangshu inn

or maybe the roof of that one tower thats a bit ways away from liyue 

just a roof in general

and maybe he notices you’re a bit tired so he decides he’s going to tell you some stories

just to help you relax

so he tells you about the adventures he’s been on, while trying to keep it lighthearted for your sake

and the sound of his voice is so relaxing 

so you lean against him a bit and then

you have successfully fallen asleep in none other but the guardian yaksha’s arms

after a while of you not responding, xiao looks down to see you softly snoring

the first thought that goes through his mind

protect y/n

i mean yes theres nothing posing a threat to you at this exact moment

but that could always change, no? 

so he pulls you a bit closer to him, and holds you just a bit tighter

the fact that you trust him enough to let your guard down in front of him means so much 

as someone who doesn’t trust his own self a lot, seeing that you are willing to become vulnerable in front of him can help with his self esteem

he lets you sleep until the sun goes down

then he hoists you up into his arms so that he can carry you back to the inn

it wouldnt be smart to stay out after dark after all

if you wake up on the way back, he’d apologize for disturbing you, and take you to your room so you can rest in a bed

he doesn’t think he’s that good of a pillow, but if you want to cuddle then he’ll oblige 

as you sleep, he might just watch over you and make sure you’re safe

which if you woke up to see, you would urge him to get some rest

if he’s tired enough, he will lay down next to you 

maybe even reach his arms out over you 

overall, he’d be very soft and want to make sure your sleep goes on undisturbed 

might even try to fight pigeons who land on the same roof as you guys 

and if you want to thank him, you can make him some almond tofu when you wake up :) 

childe 

childe would at first not notice that you’ve fallen asleep

maybe you two would be on a bench or a date around liyue

and it’s been a long day, so while stopping to rest he notices your tired state

teasingly asking you “do you need to take a break~” 

but he really just wants you to be comfortable so he leads you both to a nearby seat 

maybe watching the sun set over the harbor with you on his lap 

and wow you’re so good to him and wow he doesn’t deserve you

meanwhile all you’re thinking is

childe warm i sleep 

probably would ask you a couple stupid questions like

why do slimes do the jiggle wobble thing

and you’d be like “mhm, yes sweetheart.” 

he knows you’re tired tho so its ok 

you wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes open anymore so you’d just slowly drift off 

he’d be lost in his own thoughts that he isn’t aware you aren’t answering him anymore

after a while he’d look down to realize

oh they’re asleep 

most likely he’d immediately take you back to your house, or his house if yours is too far

he’d put you on the couch and gently wake you up so you can put on comfier clothes 

maybe some pajamas or if you’re at his house he’d let you wear his 

“y/n, wake up~” 

you might be a bit sleepy but he knows that overall it’d be more comfortable for you this way 

after you’ve changed he’ll bring you over to your bed

and tuck you in, yk laying the blanket over you, making sure your pillow is perfectly fluffed and all that

only the best for his y/n ! 

if you’re a light sleeper, he’d stay on guard over you so that nothing can wake you up

if you sleepwalk, he’d be right there to bring you back to the bed 

he wants you to feel as comfortable and protected and safe as possible

maybe if he was feeling a bit tired he’d lay down with you

but he wouldn’t completely fall asleep, as that would put both him and you in possible danger 

letting his guard down isn’t something he can afford to do around you

as in yes he would treat you very well but also he wants to keep you safe

diluc 

you’d be out on a walk around mondstatd or windrise

most likely windrise because diluc wants every chance to not see kaeya

he knows you enjoy the landscape of the area near venessa’s tree

maybe a little picnic underneath it

with all the mondstatd specialties courtesy of good hunter

you also glared at donna as you two walked past her house 

and when diluc asks you why you hate her 

smile and wave boys smile and wave 

but like most people, you get a bit sleepy after you eat

diluc notices and offers to hug you for a bit, because the grass might be soft, but it’s certainly not warm

so you do, and sitting in his lap, you feel warmth and happiness 

which causes you to yawn and begin to fall asleep 

diluc had been reading a book while you sat, and when your head nods to the side, he closes it 

you...you fell asleep 

yeah he knew you were tired but 

wait what time is it

basically he was in a trance the entire time just thinking about you and how you smell good and your hair is so soft and

the sun is setting

while normally that would be something gorgeous to watch

you two are kind of far from the winery, which means it’d be dark by the time you get home

so he decides he’ll just stay the night at the angel’s share

yes he might run into kaeya but if it means you don’t have to wake up 

then so be it 

thank god the angel’s share has an extra bedroom that was installed in case someone needed to stay there

he covers you with a soft blanket and sits on the chair by the side, watching the door

if you ask for cuddles or reach out to him he’ll get up and lay down with you

but it’d be really awkward for a bit because you’re all bundled up and here he is in his long black coat skhakfsdlhf

you might also just want to lay against him for that extra warmth

which he will eagerly provide don’t you worry  

who knows he might even fall asleep???

of course the next morning kaeya would bust in to wake you two up 

because he’s like that

and diluc would glare daggers at him because how dare he wake up my beloved y/n i will make him rue the day he stepped foot into my father’s house 

after kicking kaeya out he turns back to you and like asks how you slept

and maybe you two cuddle just a bit longer because he suddenly is in need of hugs 

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this one, especially diluc’s with the donna slander dskhfsdjkh and i havent got xiao yet :( but i’ve seen some people have like c3 xiao?? bruh what. but i hope you guys like these hcs and thank u anon for the request <3

[seaweedbraens]

after more than a week, i just processed the new chapter of wcwth and i just, i mean, wow

the percabeth fight was so raw, so deep, so full of sadness, anger and guilt and betrayal...

honestly, i feel like wow is the only word that can capture my reaction to it.

i think it was amazing, incredible writing. i mean, you just delivered so hard. it was everything i was hoping for and more. at one moment i didn't think it could be get more deep but yet you kept going and i was left feeling so vulnerable after everything happened. you really made me feel so much for these two characters. this chapter was SO full of emotion that i had to pause my reading and also reread the whole chapter a couple of times. each time i found myself understanding more, feeling more for Percy and Annabeth and the inevitability of their fight, this explosion of feelings so bottled up that neither could have expected to hurt the other so much when they only truly want to be with each other.

it was so touching that it made me lose my breath at certain moments. raw human nature is something so complicated and deep and yet you found a way to represent its intricacies in such a compelling way that it resonated with your readers. just....wow

...and i just want to say thank you, for sharing your talent. can't wait for what you have in store next

anon,,,in ur own words...wow

no fr thank you so much!!! im so glad u feel this way because thats exactly what the fight is, a culmination of all these feelings that they havent been able to let out until now, so of course its going to get super ugly. im actually enjoying how people in the comments who were super mad at annabeth in ch4 pt1 are actually mad at percy in ch4 pt2,,,thats EXACTLY what i wanted to portray! i want it to be hard to pick a side because they both have extremely valid reasons for feeling the way they do. and they both process things so differently as well - annabeth likes to sit down and think about things before fully acting and percy just feels things in the present. which is why annabeth dealt with things badly in the beginning but slowly tried to make things right and percy just got angrier and angrier as time went on and she didnt make any effort to talk to him, finally resulting in him blowing up completely. essentially the fight is percy venting out all the anger hes felt since annabeth told him the story of luke all the way back in chapter 2 and IT WAS SO FUN TO WRITE

thank you so much for the appreciation!!! i put a lot into the fight so i am so happy to see that you love it <3 i hope you enjoy ch5 when i post it!

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩