#which is admittedly easier said than done bc it's easier to think about it than actually *do* it

[crystallizsch]

I FORGOT TO SAY IN MY LAST ASK IM SORRY but I think your ocs are very cool 🤸‍♀️ I was scared to send that last one tho omgjskfnsnmd I haven't interected with anything on here at all yet but you were so nice???? I have now gained the courage to Start Doing Things, I thank you kindly 💃💃💃

AAAH YES YES I'M CHEERING FOR YOU JUST

✨✨Start Doing Things ✨✨

whatever you start doing I hope you find joy in it!! 😤✨ It makes me happy to hear that i gave you that little push 😭

ALSO thank you so much I'm so glad you like my little sillies as well 😭💕😭💕

[ssaalexblake]

Had a random brain wave, but do you think one reason people are so weird about the Timeless Child is because people get so weird about adoption, especially adoption narratives that don't fit into some very specific boxes?

You know, I honestly don’t know?

But mostly just because I honestly don’t know the intricate ways people are weird about adoption (in fiction & real life), as far as specialist subject goes, it’s not mine. I only have the broad strokes here. 

Though, from a purely story formation way, this plot does Not fit into any of the adoption trope boxes that I know of, yeah. Admittedly, it is easier to buck trends when Sci-Fi is involved, but I don’t think i’ve seen anything like this sequence of events played out anywhere else before and I watch too much sci-fi.  

I think maybe the evil stepmother archetype is something people are used to, which isn’t Exactly what Tecteun is but close enough, and that it’s a narrative people are used to seeing play out in a way where the poor kid Escapes, but this story didn’t provide that neat of a box for this child. The kid did not escape, the child was used and abused until the evil stepmother was done with them and moved onto better things, and they erased their memories and dumped them in an orphanage, never bothering to look them up again. Well, not until The End Of Days anyway (that they orchestrated). That’s not exactly a fairy tale ending... Brothers grimm maybe! 

Hm, upon further thought, I don’t think people are being (that) weird about the adoption aspect (or, no moreso than usual. I think there’s some deifying of the scared crying kid on a barn as some kind of superior and not difficult to swallow orphan narrative. loneliness can be cured easily, as can fear, it’s not too Messy. You don’t have to think about anything too difficult), but I DO think they’re being really weird about the idea of a neglectful and abusive parent, which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest, because people are Always weird about abuse stories. 

I only say not so much about the adoption thing because I Mostly consider the adoption aspect of this story as The Doctor, not the child. Admittedly this is personal interpretation, but the leaning on openly and frequently calling this group of companions The Fam. That when they get their first real conversation 13 says she doesn’t Have a family anymore, and these three people who heard this then happily welcome her into theirs (they could easily have been angry, and they weren’t, they were kind). 

Graham sees her as a peer, treats her equally and with friendship, she honestly Has to have stayed in his house in the 2 weeks we don’t see in wwfte, joining the family in their grief. He obviously has to have noticed the parental relationship she has with Ryan, the Ryan who lets 13 act as a kind of mentor and adult figure to him despite how easy it’d be for him to not let people in like that anymore. Yaz’s first action when 13 finally gets them home is to invite her to have tea with her family, and we know from the helpful baby sister slam that Yaz inviting people around is not a common event.  

A lot of the show, historically, is either the doctor being adopted into weird little families or the doctor adopting themselves a weird little family. That’s not New to the show as a theme. Literally, One kidnaps himself a family and a tv monument was born that exists 60 years later.  As soon as Chibnall mentioned Why he included the adoption angle ofc the asshole contingent came out and said why’d he include something like that in the show because of his own issues!!! missing that the show is literally just this over and over and over again. I don’t know the dude, have honestly spent years not reading his interviews bc i learnt from the past two guys that Nothing can be gained from learning how much of an asshole the showrunner is and decided to remain in clueless bliss (Am bitter that even this was stolen from me now), but did it ever occur to people that a show where a constant theme of found family Might actually be one of the reasons the show appealed to him as somebody who was adopted to start with? Like, he did not make up this theme, and just because the people unable to grasp dirt basic tropes didn’t see it doesn’t mean everybody else didn’t. That is, imo, very much a part of this. Just grasping at any straw possible to have a go at him no matter how idiotic it looks. 

Anyway, I digress, I see Most of the adoption story as 13 herself, rather than the timeless child arc, which I think is more accurately summarised as kidnapping, neglect, child endangerment, *insert unknown species name here* experimentation, forced labour upon threat of death and death of loved ones, in general physical and emotional abuse... I’m sure i’ve forgotten a few, but that’s the gist of it. 

I Know the master uses the term adoption, more than once, but like... The entire point of him in the situation is that he’s wrong even if Technically he’s correct. I mean, he has his valid points where he’s not wrong and because of some things i feel genuinely sorry for him, but he has framed this whole thing in his head as some rescue of the child, he says that tecteun adopts the child instead of abandoning them and therefore rescued them, making this a good action vs bad action situation instead of something nuanced.

 But, as we learn in survivors of the flux, this is Not how 13 views this at all! She’s in active distress that Tecteun Took! her! instead of trying to return her home. She just wanted her to have tried! The Doctor would do anything for a lost and scared child, and yes, sometimes they’ve taken children in, but with the consent of the child (who were all old enough to make their own choices) and when they wanted to leave, the doctor accepts this. 13 Clearly understands the difference between taking somebody in when they have no other options and taking somebody you want to keep for fun without bothering to see if there is a better 3rd option. 

(Admittedly, the master does make a passing comment about tecteun leaving evidence in the matrix as Maybe being an apology of some sort, so he must recognise on some level that Somewhere in this story the doctor is victimised, but there is no specification to exactly What thing on the long list of grievances that he clocked as actually bad.)

But I think, personally, after seeing 13′s distress at Tecteun not even bothering to Try to find the child’s home and just saying finders keepers, I will never see this part of the story as an adoption narrative, i didn’t before to be fair, but now i could never. It is kidnapping. It is imperialism wrapped up in a story about two people. It’s Henrietta Lacks, from a medical perspective. But I would not call -in a non fiction story- a child who was kidnapped and raised by their kidnapper an adoption story even if the kid was treated like a king, so I don’t here. It doesn’t fit my definition. I don’t know what Chibnall intended, but I know what I get from it. If you find a kid you try and send them home, or find somebody who will. Taking them home and trying to raise them is gonna get you arrested. 

I Mostly think the audience is being weird and/or stupid about the abuse angle of this story. I mean, the target audience of the show is tween/teens, but younger kids watch it and everybody knows it and it tends to pull its punches. For an example, If an 8 year old misses that the parade of different regenerations means that Tecteun kills the kid over and over, that’s probably the point. When adults look at that and fail to make the connection that you regenerate by Dying and that this kid has burned through half a dozen bodies in their adolescence and that this doesn’t just Happen by accident, then that’s not the same thing. Like, it is So blatant what happens here, the child is killed repeatedly. There is nothing else more abusive than this repeated murder and yet the blinders are on. This era even went to the trouble of specifying that regeneration is exceptionally painful. It’s not especially difficult to grasp, and Yet. 

In general, I think the show very deftly displayed a deeply abusive dynamic over the course of both TTC and Flux, and the story didn’t fit a box because the poor victim didn’t escape in a traditional way, they were dumped like trash with no remorse, and then put through whatever else the uncaring society did to them without even their own past to ground them. And then. Then. Eventually they do escape of their own power and get away, and once they’re gone they build themselves into a person who wants to do good. They make themselves a hero with the help of their adoptive families. In fact, they’d be nothing but the jerk who ran way still with the morals of those whom had abused them if not for their adoptive families. They’re never perfect, but it’s the trying that matters. What matters is their found families taught them this. 

Honestly, people are weird about adoption narratives. they’re weird about abuse narratives. They’re weird about anti-imperialism narratives. They're weird about stories that go out of the box. That they’re actively Trying to poke holes doesn’t help. That they often make themselves look like idiots who can’t comprehend a children’s show while poking holes is, frankly, at least good for cheap entertainment. 

[solacefruit]

Re that post about ShadowClan; honestly I’ve been wondering a lot about your world building take on Brokenstar era ShadowClan! I never said anything because you can write whatever you want and I don’t want to accidentally come off as pressure but like

A lot of your lore about how the elders are the culture keepers and the sort of council of the clan, in every clan (tho their exact role and how they play into clan politics and what they do can vary)

It makes me think about how one of the first things Brokenstar did was remove elders from camp, eventually escalating to not feeding them at all and essentially treating them as worthless (and his downfall being that he didn’t care to actually pay attention to them because he thought they were useless, thus a resistance was able to form and help ThunderClan against Broken)

And Nightstar! Who was already an elder when he became leader! It would be super cool to hear about that in your verse, because I imagine it would go a bit deeper than a regular deputy becoming leader, since elders are such an important part of the clan.

I tend to imagine that ShadowClan actually is pretty open to others joining (mostly bc in canon Boulder and Russetfur weren’t clanborn) and outwordly act like they are aggressive and unwelcoming towards others, and don’t really announce that they accept others? But if a cat comes to them and has nowhere to go, and is willing to join and learn and work, they’ll let them.And I feel like ShadowClan are super close and loyal to each other, even by clan standards. They’re seen as the mean nasty cats but they always have each others backs.

That went into headcanon ramble but ahh basically I’d love to hear your thoughts on ShadowClan and the expansion of world building and lore !!

Imma tack on another question since this is already super long; do you think in TNP the journey cats would talk about and end up feeling close friendships by understanding each other’s clan cultures? Like not just the stereotypes that those outside the clan think but hearing what it’s like in each clan from a member of it, and then having this friend group that sort of mixes those and them having habits they can’t really express around their clan bc they would sound unloyal

((Anyway I love your writing and lore and everything !! Thank you for sharing it !))

Hello there! Oh my is this a long ask. I didn’t even realise tumblr let you send asks this long? I’ll put all of my response under a read-more to preserve people’s dash space. 

Thank you very much for such a kind series of compliments! It’s lovely to know how much you’ve enjoyed my work--and how much you’re anticipating my future works. I hope they are worth the wait. And don’t worry about pressuring me--it’s really not possible. I write what I want to write, at my pace. Hearing people’s enthusiasm for my work is always lovely, of course, and I interpret asks like this as support, not pressure. 

I think Brokenstar had the capacity to be very interesting (hence why I wrote a story about him) and I thought his treatment of the elders actually showed some political savvy, just like his deposition of the clan’s medicine cats. He worked to undermine and isolate the cats whose authority could rival his own, which--when your goal is total control--is actually not a bad move. It did backfire on him eventually, but only because of Thunderclan’s involvement. 

I won’t comment on your Shadowclan headcanons, because (as I’ve said before) I don’t like to talk too much about lore outside of my stories, but I sincerely hope you’ll enjoy whatever next Shadowclan story I put forward. I’m working on something at the moment that I get the feeling you might really like--but we’ll see! You can tell me when you read if I was right about that. 

Although, you said “outwardly act like they are aggressive and unwelcoming towards [non-clan cats], and don’t really announce that they accept [non-clan cats]?” and I want to pose a little rhetorical question for you: how would they keep something like that a secret from the other clans, when every moon they attend the gatherings, and every clan announces their kittens and new apprentices? Seems like a difficult subterfuge to manage. 

As for your question regarding the New Prophecies--I honestly haven’t thought about it much. My favourite and truest love of Warriors is the old territories, and while I’ll grudgingly accept that those are now gone and will not come back, my preference is not the lake and I don’t really care for the story of travelling together to the promised land. 

That said, I don’t actually think the cats would adopt each other’s cultures very readily--that’s a lot easier said than done, for one thing, and for another, I think how much a cat would be interested in learning (and what they would be allowed to learn) is highly individual--and cultural change and adaptation isn’t really an individual endeavour--and also I suspect the clans would be quite cautious around sharing their traditions just because. Culture isn’t just a collection of quirks or rituals: it’s kind of a perspective on the world, and a lot of cultures don’t mesh super well because of these different perspectives, at least not without a long time living together and/or concerted effort. We have the term “culture clash” for a reason, is what I’m saying. Living in close proximity would probably heighten cultural tension between the clans, not reduce it, especially in an already fraught situation.

Anyway, the thing that appeals to me about Warriors and keeps me dipping back into this well is the elaborate world I get to create based (admittedly loosely) on canon, with the code, the laws, the territories, the history, the cultures, the names, so on. Unfortunately for me, Erin Hunter’s preference is actually to erode those things that I personally like best, and they systematically undo the most appealing elements of the series continuously. 

The territories? Destroyed. Utterly destroyed. 

The names? Increasingly silly nonsense. 

The code? Just add something in that undermines the whole concept of the clans, and then--if I’ve heard correctly re: the newest series--just undo the code. 

The history? Good luck if you can follow any kind of consistent timeline, and also characters you loved or liked or even just tolerated are now infinitely worse than before, happy super edition! 

The culture? Barely there to begin with and yet somehow worse now also, what with Windclan’s dirt boys and whatever else. 

So I’m not really anywhere near as interested or invested in the post-original territories experience. I write about it from time to time because that’s just where the characters I’m writing about are, but I kind of do it a little bitterly. I took the destruction of my beloved historical sites very personally. 

[arrows-and-illusions]

Nerdy German Tourists In An Alley

I wrote this a while back and posted it in the discord, but wanted to wait until It was Spooky Season to post it on here. Under the cut bc of the length

The Hunter adjusted her purse on her shoulder as they turned down the alley. It wouldn’t be much longer, until they came to the one they had parked in. Her heels clicking lightly on the old cracked road. Unconcerned about walking down the middle of the alley road. It was late enough, most stores were closed now, and most folks were home now, if not already in bed. They hadn’t really planned to be out so late, but pleasant conversation and company had made time go quickly inside the little diner they’d been in. The night air was a bit chilling, and she half wished she had thought to bring a jacket, or wear some warmer stockings under the Gray dress she wore.

“Also, Ich habe eine neue idee fur ein experiment. Fuhlbare Jack-O-Lanternen!” Medic beamed, spreading his arms with the importance of the idea. “Eine amusant idee,” She replied, giving the doctor an amused smile and shake of her head. “Aber viel Glück, eine Pflanze ohne Gehirn empfindungsfähig zu machen.” “Das ist es eben!” He grinned “Ich wurde ein Gehirn in den Kurbis stecken. Es ist brilliant!” It was an utterly crazy, impossible idea.

Which was exactly why she was sure if her fellow could do it if he really decided it was something he wanted to do. She didn’t want to know how, though she knew she probably wouldn’t understand it even if she did. The only one who could probably have an inkling of understanding about how the doctors ideas worked would be the Engineer, and then probably only a fraction. Still, it would be an entertaining thing to watch him figure out, and admittedly she was a bit morbidly curious to see it when it was done. “Wenn Sie also mochten, dass es empfindunsfahig, gehe ich davon aus, dass Sie ein menschliches gehirn wollen. Iche dachte, du beschwerst dich, dass du vorhin keine-” her words stopped as something made the skin of her arms crawl, and her steps stopped with them, the doctor stopping with her. Then she saw it, the shadows crawling up behind them in the light from the streetlamps.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” A voice cooed, though it felt more akin to steel wool on gravel. Scratchy from a life of heavy smoking. “A couple of tourists? Don’t you know you shouldn’t walk down dark alleys this late at night? Something could happen.” They turned, laying their eyes upon a man, most of his face obscured by the worn hood of his jacket, though the predatory smile on his lips clear as day. The way the shadows framed it, it might have been menacing to anyone normal. She didn’t miss the bulge in his pocket where his hand was. A gun or a knife, she wasn’t sure, but he certainly had no good intentions.

“Heh, can you nerds even understand me?” The man asked with an amused scoff.

“Ah heh, well, Ja, we can understand you.” Medic replied stiffly. His accent, Johanna thought, purposely thicker than normal. Disarming, she realized. The man clearly thought they were harmless tourists. Let him think so, It would make getting out of this easier. “Good, that’ll make this easier.” He said, pulling a gun from the pocket of his jacket, waving it indistinctly. “Gimme everything. You and the lady.” She looked up, sharing a look with him. “Lets do what he says, Ludwig.” She said, brows knit together with false worry. With a frown he nodded as she passed him her purse.

The bag hit the man square in the face as he threw it. She could have tossed it herself, but she didn’t deny the doctor had a stronger arm, and it freed her to pull the knife strapped to her thigh from under her dress and to close the distance before the man could regain his bearings. Grabbing him by the front of his jacket as she pressed the knife to his throat, Medic  snatched the mans wrist, knuckles whitening as he squeezed. The mans gun clattering to the road.

“I think we solved your brain dilemma, Ludwig.” She purred. “I suppose you’ll want to keep it fresh until we get home?” She couldn’t say she felt sorry for the man. True she knew whatever the doctor had in mind wouldn’t be good, but had it been an actual pair of simple tourists the man had decided to pounce upon, or even two locals, things might have gone very different. There would be a report of a robbery on the news in the morning, or something worse. No, he rather deserved whatever her madman of a friend came up with.

“You read my mind, Fraulein.” He replied, his voice low and dangerous with his own broad grin, letting go of the mans wrist before stooping down to pick up the dropped weapon. Drawing his arm back before giving the man a hearty thump on the side of the head with it. As the man slumped she let go of her hold on his jacket, letting him fall to the cold ground, reaching instead for her purse. Taking the gun as the Medic offered it she slipped it into the bag. The would be mugger certainly wouldn’t be needing it anymore. She knew, that somehow by tomorrow, Medic would have his sentient pumpkin.

(I’m not 100% on the german because I am still very much a beginner with learning it, but if I got it right it should say: “ So, I have a new idea for an experiment. Sentient Jack-o-lanterns!” “An Amusing Idea,” “But good luck making a plant without a brain sentient.“ “Thats just It!” “I would be putting a brain in the pumpkin. It’s brilliant!” “So if you want it sentient, I'm assuming you want a human brain.  I thought you were complaining that you didn't-”

[shinwhoohoo]

hello lovely person, i come to your inbox seeking solace and the permission to rant about the eternally frustrating mess that is bana twitter. i'm so infuriated by delulu ot5 stans spamming a3 asking for reunion pics w j and b and demanding that they include those 2 in the official anniversary celebrations bc j&b ""deserve" it like??? where do they get their sense of entitlement from lmao i don't get it. and really, why should a3 bear the onus of asking them to join the celebrations when the other 2 have given no indication that they wish to do so in the first place like they literally left the group and no longer associate themselves with it (and no ig bios don't count people) what's not clicking?

it honestly makes me more pissed at the 2 who left (jy in particular) bc they refuse to make a clean break. wm also had a part to play in it ofc bc they didn't release an unequivocal statement about their departure from the group (altho they did say b1a4 will only be promoting as 3 going forward so idk how anyone misinterpret it) but what irks me is that jy never really acknowledged the fact that he left (at least baro wrote a nice letter thanking bana and a3). he keeps stringing his fans along by making empty promises about future reunions and!!!i hate that he won't change his ig bio or twitter header and whatever else it is that convinces people that "his heart lies w b1a4". i hate that he does all this but a3 still have to bear the brunt of the criticism from their fandom even tho they've been working their asses off to give us quality music (jinthoven who, producer cnu owns my heart now) and wholesome content (how precious was b1a4 arcade) to make up for their perceived sins against bana.

sorry this spiralled out of control, haven't used my tumblr in ages but i feel like migrating back bc bana twt is bad for my blood pressure. hope you have a nice day!

Two things real quick:

1. You always have permission to rant here to please do so whenever you feel like it~!! 😁 2. PLEASE COME BACK TO TUMBLR WE NEED YOU BACK IT’S SO MUCH NICER AS A BANA PLEASE 🙏

Ok now that that’s out of the way lol, wow 10/10, 💯, like god I really have nothing else to even add? Perfect rant, perfect points, all completely 100% factual points, that some people just don’t seem to like to address or acknowledge in their ‘OT5′ comments. But the thing is, all of this is true!!

What bothers me the most about the whole OT3/OT5 argument basically comes down to two points:

1. Those spewing OT5 Forever on their personal accounts is one thing. I’ve always said everyone is entitled to their own feelings about this, and I can respect we have our differences. However, going to A3′s accounts, to their VLive, and commenting and spamming posts about Baro and Jinyoung and ‘Oh, What does THIS MEAN that Jinyoung posted to the B1A4 VLIVE?? What DOES IT MEAN that Baro posted a pic holding a BANA CUP?!!? I MISS B1A4 AS FIVE’ and it’s like... let’s actually take a breath. Jinyoung’s incident was obviously a mistake, one that he hasn’t even addressed. Baro admittedly has liked a few B1A4 posts here and there, with this most recent insta upload the most ‘vocal’ he’s been regarding B1A4. But does it mean they are going to magically appear for the 10th anniversary? Not at all. There is absolutely no connection between these events. And to try and make such a connection is clearly going out of your way to try and create something that isn’t there because you want it to happen. Not because you are looking at the facts and the comments that the members who are actually, actively in B1A4 have made, but because you are overlooking what they have said, and what WM Ent has said, to fit your agenda. And to go and post these wishes and hopes on their official accounts, or even worse, Shindeulchan’s personal social media accounts, especially given how THEY expressed how they felt about the split, well damn. I think that’s cruel tbh. But yet we’re the nasty ones for not acknowledging bayoung...

2. ... which brings me to the other main point that irks me. Just because I am not currently an ‘OT5′ fanatic, again, given what we KNOW TO BE TRUE!!! (Basically most of which you’ve already listed-- WM’s statement of B1A4 continuing AS THREE, Sandeul and CNU’s comments and feelings they have made on guest show appearances, their fanmeet, the B1A4 Documentary+, etc., not to mention Baro’s statement, and even Jinyoung’s, which mentions about looking forward into the future if they should all come back again, in addition to the dead silence Jinyoung has been about bipo since then) but just because some of us aren’t ‘OT5′ given all that, DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE AGAINST BARO OR JINYOUNG!! like that pisses me off so much, this ‘divide’ that is being made... It’s like no, I just respect the feelings of the members who are actually here more so than wishing for something to happen that isn’t going to any time soon, like sorry that upsets you. And guess what, I still will always adore Baro and Jinyoung. I still wish the best for them. And if/when the time comes that they want to come back, and A3 accepts them back (because again, it’s up to THEM, not the ‘OT5′ fans!!) I will 100% be happy and grateful to see B1A4 as five. But until then, I will support Baro and Jinyoung in their solo efforts, and B1A4 as three, for all that they do and have done to make the transition from 5 to 3 easier for us.

lmao I love how I’m like ‘oh your ask was great I have nothing to say’ then go and write an essay. Well, I am nothing if not on brand with my word vomit.

Thanks for this anon, as you can tell it lit a fire under my ass lol. I don’t think I’ve been this vocal about it all in a while~

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[usermoreid]

Ofc i didnt want to be a burden. Ive had the worst day. Ive been unnaturally angry all day and i can’t rly work out why. I think its anxiety acting up but i literally spent the day so angry at everything i cried. i hate feeling like this and now i feel like ive let everyone down and ive ruined everything. I feel like everyone is mad at me. Admittedly i only snapped out once but bc i was in such an awful mood i called my manager and asked if i could take the night off and she originally was super annoyed at me saying i should’ve told her yesterday but i didnt know i was going to go thru this yesterday? i explained to her im sure it was my anxiety and she said ok and then later on apologised and said she hoped i relax and have a chill night and feel better, which was nice. But i also feel like ive let her down? I feel like ive let everyone down and i just feel like shit :( i also just stuffed my face with pizza and milkshake and now i just feel gross and bloated :( im having such a bad day why did i even wake up this morning?

i'm really sorry that you're having a bad day, anon:( it sucks that it got to the point of tears but i'm glad you at least cried, as weird as that sounds. i'm sure you know this but sometimes crying really does help when we just need to get emotions out, especially anger.

you haven't let her down at all. sure, her initial reaction was annoyance, but that wasn't at you, even though it might seem like it was. it was just a heat of the moment type thing, you know?? her apologising later and saying she hopes you feel better is how she actually feels. she understands, you don't have to feel bad about it ((though i know that's a lot easier said than done)).

eating a nice meal is a good thing, and that really does sound like a nice meal ((i want a milkshake now!!)). i know that being bloated doesn't feel very fun but it's gonna go away soon and you'll feel much better than if you hadn't have eaten.

you took care of yourself today - you took some time to yourself, you fed yourself, you vented instead of bottling it up. that's genuinely something you should be proud of yourself for, and even if you can't find it in you to be, that's okay because i'm proud enough for the both of us. i hope tomorrow is much better for you, but for now, just rest. you deserve to.

[fancat-not-fangirl]

Welcome to my Nightmare

a/n: another one of my hurt!Dean fanfics! Tag to 4.06 Yellow Fever bc I wanted Sam to comfort Dean more (as always)

Summary: Dean has another one of his hallucinations during his time with the ghost sickness. Can Sam snap him out of it this time? 

<><><>

Sam woke up to the sound of his name.

He immediately recognized the voice as his brother’s. After all, when you’ve spent more than twenty years listening to him say it in millions of different ways, you find that it’s easy to identify. And Sam’s heard every possible pronunciation of his name from his brother, whether it be happiness, annoyance, worry, fear, relief, or reassurance. He’s heard it all.

Which was why when his name flew out of Dean’s mouth in a horrified gasp, Sam knew something was wrong.

Well, more wrong than it already was. Because how could anything not be, when Dean’s caught a little something called ghost sickness and was due to die in T-minus 7 hours. Only one month, one week, and two days after hell. After Sam finally had his brother back. And it wasn’t fair. Sam had thought - no, he had hoped - that he’d have more time with his brother. More time to simply enjoy Dean’s presence again. To savor it. To commit the smiles and laughs and smirks to memory, just in case he was taken from Sam again.

But the ghost sickness stripped that away. The years Sam was looking forward to spending with Dean had dwindled down to mere hours.

No.

He wouldn't think about that now.

He had to focus on helping Dean.

But that would’ve been easier if Sam knew what it was that he should be helping Dean with. Because Sam didn’t know what was wrong.

“Dean?” he tried, sitting up in bed. “Is everything okay?” It obviously wasn’t, but he had to try to get an answer out of Dean before acting.

But Dean didn’t answer. If anything, his face got paler and his eyes widened even more. He choked out another “Sammy?” before scrambling out of the bed covers. His eyes seemed to be glued to the spot where Sam’s head had been resting on the pillow just moments before. 

“Dean?” Sam tried again, but instead of getting a normal response, Dean started moving backwards on the bed, as if trying to get as far away from Sam as possible. His mouth was moving, at first too fast for Sam to decipher what it was that he was saying, but then the words increased in volume. Sam realized that Dean was repeating a litany of “No, no, no, no, no,”s and his heart sank. Dean must be having another hallucination.

What was it this time?

It didn’t matter. He had to get Dean to calm down.

Throwing his covers aside, Sam climbed out of his own bed and leaned over Dean’s. “Dean? Dean, you’re okay. You’re fine, man. Look at me.” But Dean wasn’t having any of that. The “no”s just got louder and louder and then his hands were in his hair, pulling at the short strands. Oh god, what was it that he was seeing? His reaction was worse than before, much worse. And that was saying something, since the last time Dean had one of his ghost sickness hallucinations where Sam had apparently wanted him back in Hell, he had almost choked himself to death on the air he had been breathing.

“Dean, look at me.” Sam desperately tried to get his brother to listen. “You’re okay, Dean. Everything is fine, you hear me? Dean? Please man, snap out of it.” But Dean was only getting worse. A high pitched keening noise was now ripping its way out of Dean’s throat and Sam’s heart broke at the sound. Dean’s hands pulled at his hair with increased vigor, his eyes still wide and horrified, staring at Sam’s bed.

Sam had to get him to stop.

Taking a deep breath, Sam reached across the bed and took Dean’s wrists into his hands, trying to pull them away from his head. A pair of green eyes snapped to him. Dean went feral, snarling at him and twisting himself out of Sam’s grip. “You killed him!” Dean’s voice reached the point of screaming as he scrambled away from Sam, getting tangled in the bed covers. A voice in the back of Sam’s head whispered that if he couldn’t get Dean to quiet down, one of their neighbors would surely call the police. “You killed him, you son of a bitch!”

Oh.

Oh.

Dean thought that Sam was dead.

Well this certainly complicated things.

“Dean! Dean, I’m okay. I’m right here, man.” Sam leaned closer, trying to get his brother to understand that he was alive and breathing. Dean just fought harder, swinging at Sam’s head, trying to land a punch. Sam ducked, narrowly avoiding getting knocked out. “Please, Dean! It’s not real, none of it is real.” Sam was attempting to talk Dean out of his hysteria, protecting his head from being bashed in, and at the same time trying to catch Dean’s flailing arms. And he was failing miserably.

“I’ll kill you for this, you black-eyed bastard!” Dean growled, baring his teeth. Instead of punches, he was now trying to claw at Sam’s face. Great. Just great. Dean thought that he was a demon.

Sam made a split second decision and leapt onto the bed, manhandling Dean onto his back and then settling his weight on top of him. Dean writhed and snarled but could not move, and for once in his life Sam was thankful that he was bigger than his older brother. 

Dean’s arms were still clawing at Sam, but now it was easier to stop them and soon Sam had them both pinned to the bed. He leant forward, trying to get his brother to look at him.

“Dean, listen to me. I’m right here, you hear me? Right here. I’m alive, I’m okay. And so are you.” Dean’s head turned away towards Sam’s empty bed and his previously furious eyes now glistened with unshed tears. Dean really still thought that Sam was dead. Sam, who felt utterly helpless. 

Sam was sick of it. That feeling of helplessness that has been his constant companion for the last few months. He couldn’t get Dean out of his deal, he couldn’t find a way to get Dean out of Hell, he couldn’t figure out who had actually done what he couldn’t when Dean got back, and now he couldn’t find a way to calm his brother down. To comfort him.

But damn him if he would let that stop him from trying.

“Dean!” His brother flinched at the John-like tone Sam used. Sam didn’t have time to feel guilty. “Goddammit Dean, look at me right now.” And Dean, never being able to refuse a direct order, obeyed, hands still straining to get out of Sam’s grip.

His eyes locked onto Sam’s, who leaned down even further, so far that their noses were almost touching. 

“Dean, listen to me. It’s not real, okay? I’m not dead. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. It’s the ghost sickness, it’s making you see things that aren’t there.” Dean’s eyes darted again to Sam’s bed, but returned back to Sam moments later. “Whatever you’re seeing there isn’t real, Dean. I promise. But you know what is real?” Sam kept his grip on Dean’s wrist and brought both of their hands up, laying Dean’s palm flat against his chest. He wondered if Dean could feel Sam’s racing heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt. “I’m real, Dean. Feel that? That’s me, Sammy, alive and healthy.” And Sam used his brother’s nickname for him, hoping it would help calm his brother down. “Please trust me, Dean. Please.”

And slowly Dean’s eyes began to clear, his straining arms and torso relaxing. Sam didn’t let himself ease up, though. Not until he knew Dean was fully calmed down.

“Sammy?”

It was said in a whisper, as if Dean was scared that what he was seeing now was a trick.

“Yeah, Dean. It’s me.”

The amount of relief that rushed into Dean’s face almost had Sam sobbing. Dean was okay. Dean recognized him. Everything was going to be fine.

“Sammy.” Dean breathed his younger brother’s name again. “You’re alive.” His eyes then flickered down and his eyes widened. “And you’re sitting on me.” 

Sam let out a breathless laugh and finally relaxed his own body, leaning forward the remainder of the way and letting his forehead rest on top of Dean’s. He breathed deeper now, more relieved than he could say at the fact that Dean was now back to normal. Or, as normal as he could be considering the circumstances.

“Dude, seriously, do I look like a loveseat to you? You’re squishing me into a fricking pancake.”

Sam smiled softly and clambered off of his brother, knowing that Dean was using humor as a defense mechanism again, not wanting Sam to see how badly he had been shaken up. Dean was blushing, but his eyes still held traces of that initial fear they had when Sam first woke up. Sam didn’t push it, though. God knew Dean had enough to deal with at the moment.

“You gonna be okay?” Sam asked softly, admittedly reluctant to go back to his own bed. What if something else happened to Dean while Sam was sleeping but Sam wouldn’t wake up? He didn’t know if he could risk that. Sam shuddered to think at what would have happened if he hadn’t woken up when he did this time.

Dean nodded, face still red and eyes still wide, and settled back into his covers, turning to face away from Sam. Sam sighed and got into his own bed, not trusting himself to go to sleep in fear of missing something.

It was a good thing, too, because not half an hour later Dean was mumbling Sam’s name and tossing and turning in his sleep, eyes scrunched shut and an expression of pain etched onto his face. 

Sam was immediately out of his own bed and whispering his brother’s name as he tried to shake Dean awake. This time it was easier to get his brother to calm down. Dean’s eyes had opened right away and Sam’s heart had almost broken at the look on Dean’s face.

There was no way they’d both be able to sleep if this kept going. So, steeling himself against the teasing that was sure to come, Sam took a deep breath and crawled into the bed next to Dean.

Sure enough, Dean balked and moved away, hissing, “Sam! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Just cause I’m acting like a scared little girl doesn’t mean you get to act like one, too.” He schooled his features into a glare pointed at his brother. “Get out of my bed.”

“No.” Sam said simply, making himself comfortable under Dean’s incredulous gaze. “You know as well as I do that this will help you. So shut up and go to sleep.”

Dean was silent for a while but then gave up, murmuring something about how Hollywood might as well make a chick flick movie about them now. He layed back down, scooching as far away from Sam as the bed allowed. 

Sam huffed out a breath. Now he just had to find a way to convince Dean to let him keep a hand on his older brother’s back as he slept. It had always helped them when they were kids. Any time either of them had been sick or tired or hurt, the other would help them fall asleep by rubbing the other’s back, an equal sign of ‘I’m here for you’ and ‘You’re safe’. Except now they were older, and Dean had a strict No Chick Flicks Law Enforcement thing going on, making it nearly impossible for Sam to do anything without being shut down or deemed a ‘girl’.

But Dean needed the contact. Tonight especially. Sam just had to figure out-

The quiet around them was broken by a car alarm and suddenly Sam found himself with an armful of Dean, who had been scared senseless by the noise. And in the blink of an eye Dean now had his arms wrapped around Sam’s waist and his face buried into Sam’s chest.

Getting over his initial shock, it didn’t take long for Sam to bring his own arms around Dean, resting one on the back of his brother’s neck while the other started rubbing Dean’s back in soothing motions. Sam smiled. But not an I’ll-hold-this-over-your-head-for-the-rest-of-your-life smile. No, this one was in relief. In reassurance. Because now he finally had a chance to make his brother feel better. He could be the one to take care of Dean for once.

Dean mumbled something into Sam’s shirt, but it was too soft for Sam to pick up. He ducked his head closer to Dean’s. “What?”

Dean hesitated before repeating, “I thought you were dead.”

Sam tensed a bit. He hadn’t expected Dean to talk about it. He had expected Dean to shrug it off as he usually did, to deny that he was being chick-flicky by choice. But not talk about his feelings. Never that.

“Yeah, Dean. I know.”

Dean continued his unexpected streak and kept talking, his voice barely above a whisper. “No, Sam. You don’t.” He took a deep breath, voice wavering. “I thought you were dead. After everything I did to keep you alive, after all those years of looking after you, after I made that damned deal. Everything. It was all for nothing. I failed. I failed dad. I failed you. I couldn’t keep you safe, no matter how hard I tried.” Dean’s voice cracked. “I tried so hard but it was all for nothing.”

“Dean, hey man, look at me,” Sam tried. Dean’s eyes rose to meet his. “You didn’t fail, you got that? I’m right here. I’m alive. I’m not going anywhere, okay? And neither are you. We’ll find a way to cure the ghost sickness. I promise. But you didn’t fail dad. You didn’t fail me.” Sam’s voice dropped so low, he didn’t think Dean would be able to hear him. “You’ve never failed me. And you never will.”

There was a moment of silence where the only thing Sam heard was Dean’s deep breaths and the faraway sounds of cars. Then Dean spoke. “But what if we can’t?”

“We will.” Sam vowed. “Trust me, Dean. We will.”

Another few seconds of silence. 

“I do trust you, Sammy.”

“Good. And it’s Sam.” That earned him a soft jab in the ribs and he chuckled, wrapping his arms tighter around his brother and resting his chin on Dean’s head. The short hair felt nice against Sam’s face and he inhaled deeply, taking in the smell that was just oh so Dean. The smell of home.

Soon Dean was asleep, lightly snoring into Sam’s chest. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. So vulnerable. And Sam wouldn’t let anything happen to him. He would fight tooth and nail to keep Dean from leaving him again. He would go to the ends of the earth to make sure Dean was safe and alive and happy.

Dean wouldn’t die, not so soon after Sam got him back. Sam wouldn’t let him. Sam couldn’t let him. Not after those months and months after Dean went to Hell where Sam didn’t know which way was up and which was down. Not after Sam had experienced a life on Earth that was a living breathing nightmare. 

No, Sam refused to go through that again. Even if it was the last thing he did, he’d save his brother.

Pressing a soft kiss to the top of Dean’s head, Sam too then fell asleep, lulled by the feeling of their hearts beating as one.

[firebirdsdaughter]

What’s hilarious [read: ridiculous] to me…

… Is that Horobi and Yua actually follow a fairly parallel path in their responses to their situations (I had a whole realisation about how Horobi-Fuwa-Naki-Yua are a four way parallel today; Horobi-Fuwa are parallels and Naki-Yua are parallels, but then their actions crisscross parallel). But there’s a massive double standard in how the two characters are reacted to… Despite the fact that Yua is a fully mentally matured and developed human adult and Horobi is an AI that has been hacked and brainwashed for the past decade in a way that forcibly stunted his development.

Yua was in a horrid and toxic work environment w/ an abusive boss. Now, admittedly, Gai kept a large amount of his worse deeds from her and to a point one could justify it as her thinking she’s acting for the greater good… Until we get to the part where it becomes abundantly clear she knows very well that what they’re doing is at the least morally questionable… But doesn’t try to defect at all, even to the point of insisting it’s of her own free will. Yes, she had a chip in her head, too, but given her reactions to him torturing Fuwa, she doesn’t seem to have known he could do that, and she didn’t know about Naki, nor did she have an AI drone in her mind. Now this is not to blame Yua—in fact, the point is that she was a victim in a bad situation. Her struggle to get out of there was fairly realistic given her situation. But she had the experience to know that what they were doing was wrong. That makes it tragic in it’s own way, yes, that she was under extreme stress and very conflicted, but she was aware of that. She was a fully developed adult. She deliberately pursued Izu w/ the intention of destroying her, and would have had Gai not said the wrong thing and set Fuwa off. And Izu was frightened and trying to run away. She resists Fuwa’s repeated attempts to snap her out of it.

Rightly so, people noted Yua’s situation, were upset for her and felt bad for her. When there were jackasses saying she should die, people called it out as bad. People were cheering for her to get away from Gai. People were happy when she did. And this includes me. I blocked people I saw shitting on Yua and saying she should die bc what the fuck, guys, she was in a seriously messed up situation.

Once free of Gai, Yua is uncertain what to do and decides to try and ‘make up’ for something she feels responsible for in a rather questionable way. She ends up helping the Ark rise and wreak havoc. Still people recognise that she couldn’t have known that would happen. Poor Yua’s been through a lot.

Meanwhile, Horobi is hacked and brainwashed by the Ark twelve years ago. She uses him to cause Daybreak. He is an AI being controlled by a larger AI designed to control HumaGear like him. Unlike and adult human being pressured and manipulated, he is literally incapable of thinking outside the Ark’s will. The Ark has complete control. Even if he did have any experience to compare w/ before, the Ark erases it. He has no frame of reference besides the Ark, no development of any kind to evaluate his situation w/. Even when Jin becomes important to him, everything is through the lens of the Ark, the Ark is more than a god to him. The brainwashing is so deep that even when disconnected for a bit, he can’t be anything besides blindly devoted. Talks about how the Ark is absolute. When confronted w/ something that causes uncertainty, he goes into a full on mental breakdown—literally, should have been a first clue that emotions were never going to come easy for him.

Eventually, he does end up w/ enough experience to just start to begin to break free. Manages to act completely on his own for the first time in his life—not an instinct that the Ark swooped in to take advantage of, he gets to go through w/ it on his own. And he’s floored. He literally cannot fathom why his body moved on its own, as far as he can tell. Can’t understand the fact that he wanted to do something. This is recognised as a big deal (one of the only times anyone tries to actually talk him out of things, in fact, unlike Yua, where there was a lot of effort). Horobi begins to wonder about things outside the Ark’s will, about himself, which he’s never considered before… Only to have it turn out his son was plotting to have the Ark possess him and then kill him to kill her. This completely upends any development he had. He’s re-hacked and rendered as largely a drone when not being possessed.

Finally, someone decides to put effort into him (kinda…) again. And, in a situation that heavily parallels Yua, he ends up finding it in him to break free of the Ark. Only… Again, a lot like Yua, it’s not a clean break. He’s still stuck w/ the past, the conditioning, and the effects of what happened. Additionally, as later becomes clear, his struggling w/ feeling emotions, which he has been carefully conditioned to reject and have no experience w/, for the first time. He’s mentally unstable and volatile. Now, in the show, what happens is the result of Azu/the Ark’s manipulations and people making poor decisions (and I do think you can make an argument for the fact that the Ark was intentionally keeping Horobi from feeling/having any experience w/ emotions to make him even more of a wreck later on), and poking a very volatile bear (well, a highly traumatised child soldier AI who has no fucking clue what emotions are to the point it feels like an outside being controlling him somehow), he lashes out, and Izu calmly stands there and deliberately takes a hit she very clearly sees coming. General chaos ensues. From Horobi’s perspective, the thing he’s been trained to think will get rid of the uncertainty and emotions etc. not only doesn’t work, but it makes him feel worse, and bc he has no other way he knows how to respond, he becomes more aggressive in rejecting those feelings. And then Jin dies, and he completely breaks down.

The reaction he gets? People calling him evil and horrible and saying he should die. That e’s choosing to do these things. People who talk about how Yua can’t really be held accountable, how she was coerced, look at a literal brainwash victim and say he choose to do those things.

Now, obviously, there are differences, which resulted in the different out comes—obviously the whole, one is a fully developed human adult and the other one is an AI. One was externally conditioned, the other, again, literally brainwashed. One had someone fighting to convince them to break free of their situation on a regular basis, repeatedly, constantly, the other didn’t. Yua was always going to have an easier break than Horobi, bc she had more mental and emotional maturity, but bc of that, esp in regards to actions done whilst under the ‘control’ of others, she has more responsibility for her actions bc she was capable of identifying them as wrong.

Now, of course, both situations are bad for the people involved. Both of them are victims.

But the issue is that people seem to be all over how Yua was a victim, Yua was mistreated… While attacking Horobi (and being upset about Izu dying is one thing, although, again, the person really responsible for that was Azu/th ark(well, Gai for creating her), Horobi was pretty much used as a weapon there, but this is for stuff he did while mind controlled).

And I used Yua just bc she and Horobi had the most parallel responses to their situations. The same goes for being able to see Fuwa as a victim, or Naki (so if Naki is the one who gave Horobi the ZetsumeRise Keys, does that make them responsible for Operation MaGear, or bc they gave Horobi the ForceRiser and said to use it on Jin, are they responsible for that? Bc that’s the logic of blaming Horobi for Daybreak), or Raiden, or even Aruto for that time he got hijacked via MCH. Any of the hacked HumaGear who were turned into MaGear.

Just… The concept of seeing how all of those people are victims in the situation… But blaming Horobi? Like… Not being interested in Horobi is one thing. Obviously, no on is going to be as madly in love w/ him as I am. It’s the act of not recognising him as being a victim while recognising everyone in similar situations as victims. It’s saying he was responsible for Daybreak, treating him like the Ark’s will was his (I’m literally having flashbacks to comments calling Horobi’s whole death ‘Horobi’s plan,’ even though by that point we literally knew the Ark was an entity that existed). Like… They literally confirmed it in show as not being that. Horobi is a mind control victim. What someone’s personal opinion of the character outside of that is another matter. But the fact is that he was mind controlled by the Ark and that the things he did under her control cannot be objectively called things he chose to do. Whether someone thinks he would have chosen them if he weren’t mind controlled… Esp given how all his actions of own choice were about protecting Jin, I personally disagree. But the show has been very explicit that he was mind controlled, and that he had no clue how to handle emotions (to the point he didn’t even seem to know what they are), so being able to understand that all those other people, esp the ones who went through similar things, are victims… But Horobi’s to blame for what he did? That’s just ridiculous.

And don’t even get me started on how anyone could ever see Gai as being a bigger victim than Horobi.

[kingdomhearts-rewrittenarchive]

I need some Isa fluff. Sorry if this was already done, but how would he react if his SO offered him a Paopu fruit?

if they offered it to him too soon then he would reject them, and depending on their reaction to it, he might even straight up break up with them

if they offered it to him as a joke, he might take it as such and laugh or jokingly agree, but if it wasn’t presented in a nice way, he would be really hurt bc that essentially says that they don’t take their relationship with him seriously

if they offered it to him as a consolation or comfort thing, he could react with anger or by just confessing his love for them which is my personal favorite headcanon and why i wrote a scenario under the cute to go along with it

It had been Lea’s idea to travel to the Destiny Islands for a little vacation. Everyone was in agreement that, for as much as they loved Twilight Town, they wanted something a little different. And seeing Riku, Sora and Kairi wasn’t going to hurt them either.

As far as you were aware, everything was fine for the better part of the day. Everyone was having fun playing in the water, and there wasn’t a quiet moment to be found. Maybe that was the problem. Not long ago, a couple of hours before sunset, you realized that Isa was nowhere to be found and, thinking back to the day, you hadn’t seen him in quite a few hours.

You admit, you panicked a little, because it was unusual for him to just pop smoke like that. Usually, he would just let you or someone know if he needed a little solitude, but he knew better than to disappear without a word. The first, and last, time he had tried it, Lea nearly got arrested for disturbing the peace in his panicked search for Isa.

That being said, Lea was too preoccupied to notice Isa missing this time. Hell, you hadn’t even noticed for who knew how long, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty, even if disappearing without a trace was a specialty of his. You decided that you were going to look for him, but you were going to do it alone. There was no real need to upset Lea; the island wasn’t that big and Isa couldn’t have left the island without the rest of you.

It took the better part of an hour before you finally did find him, though. He was on the direct opposite side of the island, hidden in a copse of trees atop a cliff, hidden from the direct light of the setting sun. You had passed it by at least twice before realizing that you could actually get in there, and were surprised when he was actually in there.

“You jerk,” were the first words out of your mouth when you saw him, sitting as calm and pretty as could be on the worn rock perched near the cliff edge. Clearly someone knew that the view was gorgeous and had managed to position it just perfectly for sitting and relaxing. He had to have heard you stumbling around out there and hadn’t said a word to alert you to his presence. “You could have said something. I’ve been looking for you for at least an hour.”

He snorted, glaring at you before turning back to face the ocean. “Only an hour? I’ve been gone for at least five.” He sounded unusually petulant, and his mouth was set in a hard line, giving him a sour expression.

Okay, that was weird. Was it your imagination, or did he sound hurt that it took you “so long” to find him? In fact, he sounded almost sullen.

“Isa?” you asked, taking a seat next to him. You took his hand in yours, locking your fingers together and just gazing at him. His mouth was twisting, like he was biting his tongue, and you knew it wouldn’t be long before he started talking.

True to form, it only took a minute before he was spilling, and you couldn’t tell if it was more sadness or anger in his words.

“Everyone else is so happy together. They all went through so much together, they saved the worlds together. Hell, even Hayner, Pence, and Olette helped. And it shows. I just feel so out of place.” His voice dropped to a whisper, and he wouldn’t look at you, not even a glance from the corner of his eye. “I don’t belong with them, not after what I did to all of them. I don’t deserve to be happy.”

You pursed your lips, turning to face the ocean, watching a wave roll up and break against a rock protruding from the surface of the water. He had told you some time ago that he was part of the group that had caused all the chaos, and had even gone back to them after his defeat at Sora’s hands, but it wasn’t something that you had actually talked about. Sometimes, he got into a funk of sorts, and you knew that it always had something to do with his past, but this didn’t feel the same. He had never acted like he didn’t want to be with you or the others, and had definitely never expressed such a negative sentiment before. It worried you that he was hiding just how badly it effected him on a daily basis, and you would have to address that later.

For now, you had this to deal with. “Isa, I know that’s how you feel, and I don’t want to diminish that, but the other’s already know what you did. You did it too them. Don’t you think if they were holding it against you, you would know it?”

He snorted again, a cross between annoyed and amused. “They’re all just too nice to push me out. They think I wasn’t myself. But it was me, _____. I can still feel it, sometimes, trying to rear back up. It’s easier to push it down now, but sometimes... I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you.” There, he’d said it. It had been sitting in his heart for so long that it felt like a weight was lifted physically from his shoulders, even as a new fear replaced it. But the new one, the one that feared you wouldn’t know how to handle his, admittedly deep, well of issues was easier to handle, if only because now you at least knew.

Your silence stretched out, and he couldn’t find words to ease you, even though everything in him screamed to console you, to lie and say he wouldn’t, he would never, that he was strong enough to reign it in, because he couldn’t be sure of that. And it wasn’t fair to you to claim that.

After what seemed like forever, you stood up, letting go of his hand. Fear lanced through him, a steady diatribe of negative words building up in his head as he watched you turn towards to the hidden opening of the grove. Then you turned back, a warm, if not quite tight, smile on your face and promised to be right back. And then you were gone.

The sun seemed to be so much brighter, the air so much warmer outside of the dense cluster of trees and, as much as your mind tried to attribute it to the conversation, you were beholden to no such ideas. An idea you were willing to give into, though, was a much better one, a legend you had been told by the natives about a certain star-shaped fruit that only grew on the islands. They were in abundance here, and it didn’t take you long to find one. It was heavier than you imagined it to be, bigger too, and surprisingly it did make an impact on your return back to Isa.

By the time you made it, the sun was nearly gone and you were out of breath. Isa was staring at you, sitting in the same spot you had left him, and you had the feeling that he had been watching the path the whole time, waiting for you to appear again.

Skepticism swept across his face when he caught sight of the fruit in your hands, followed by confusion. “What is that?”

“Oh, the others didn’t tell you about these?” you asked, looking down at the bright yellow star in your hands. He hadn’t been around when you were told, but you had assumed someone would tell him, given how popular the legend was here. You blushed a little as you sat down next to him, close enough that your thighs touched and you could feel the warmth radiation off of him. It had sounded cute in your head, but the idea of explaining it was less appealing. “The islanders have a superstition about these. They’re called paopu fruits, and supposedly if two people share them, their destinies will be bound together. They’ll always find their way back to each other.”

You could see Isa’s eyes widen, flick to your face for just a second, before they landed back on the fruit. He took it from your hands gingerly, as if he was afraid it would bite him, and examined it, like he was looking from some sign of magic in it. He set it down in his lap, still just staring at it without a word, and you half-expected him to start laughing and reject it.

But to your surprise, he sounded almost hopeful as he asked, “Do you want to share it with me?”

Without a word, you took the fruit back and split it as evenly as you could down the middle, handing him half and without hesitation taking a bite out of the other. Wonder filled his eyes, and they never left yours as he took a bite from the center. The both of you waited a few seconds for a sense that something had changed, for magic to swirl around you, for something. The seconds turned into minutes and...nothing.

Your lips twitched before spreading into a grin, and then you started laughing. “Well, that was anticlimactic. I don’t know what I was expecting but...” you said, looking down at the piece in your hands. It still looked like just a regular piece of fruit. “Well, at least it tasted good.”

Isa chuckled as well, but he was still staring at you in awe. You had been willing, with no hesitation whatsoever, to tie your destiny with his. His sense of worth had never been tied to what other people thought of him, but as he sat there and watched you laugh, it made him realize that you, of everyone, treated him the most normal. The others never meant to, but they always made him feel like he was outside of their little bubble of friendship, like he was only ever included because he was there, like he was an afterthought and could disappear without notice. When you appeared and weaseled your way into his heart, he had been reluctant to let it go any further, afraid that you were going to turn on him when everything came to light.

But you hadn’t. You had taken him by the hand and brought him into the fold, made him feel like he could belong.

Warmth towards you filled his chest, and he took the fruit from your hands and flung them into the water far below.

“Isa?” you said, watching him turn back towards you. Your hands were sticky from the fruit juice, as were his, but it didn’t seem to deter him as he pulled you up from the rock and into his chest.

His voice was a deep rumble and full of wonder when he said, “Thank you, _____. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but thank you.”

All you had time to do was squeak as his lips covered yours, warm and sticky and sweet. Your eyes fluttered closed and you wrapped your arms around his neck, preventing him from moving back as you opened your mouth to his. It was bliss in it’s purest form and you never wanted it to stop.

But from a distance, you heard the sounds of your names being called, and started to pull back.

“Not yet,” Isa said, keeping you pressed close. “It’ll take them a minute to find us. Let’s just stay here for a while longer.”

jesus christ this is so long now askdhfa;j i’ve no idea how it got so out of hand? somehow it’s 2k words??? well enjoy the fluff anyway lol

[maydaymadier]

Fannar Playlist Breakdown

idk, I’m procrastinating so I’m gonna explain all the songs on the Fannar playlist

Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin  basically my inspirations are showing here, Fannar’s original concept was ‘Well the MCU writers can do whatever the fuck they want with Loki so so can I’ so I pulled this one from the Thor: Ragnarok soundtrack, on a lesser note  “We come from the land of the ice and snow/From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow/The hammer of the gods/W'ell drive our ships to new lands/To fight the horde, and sing and cry/Valhalla, I am coming!” and he’s literally from a place called The Frozen North

Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen The only family member whose opinion matters to Fannar anymore is his mom.  There’s also just the general level of dramatic thinking that happens when grievously injured and believing you’re about to die. “Mama, ooh,/Didn't mean to make you cry,/If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,” is probably about what he was thinking when he was

Bleeding Out, Imagine Dragons bleeding out at the bottom of an abyss, back mangled and painfully aware that he was about to die, a Fannar backstory jam, this one lines up with when Fannar made his warlock pact with Auril 

Monster, Lady Gaga He just vibes with this one, I think Fannar would fucking love this song

Judas, Lady Gaga Once again, I just think he vibes with this one, he just vibes with it

Fox on the Run, Sweet OH MAN,  this works on multiple counts.  Fannar starts off the campaign as a ‘fox on the run’ bc he’s like, a trickster running away, avoiding home, ALSO “I - don't wanna know your name/'Cause you don't look the same/The way you did before/Okay - you think you got a pretty face/But the rest of you is out of place/You looked alright before” works super well bc Fannar literally grew up with a different face, and he lost it bc of backstory so this would be a random person from The Frozen North talking about him.

Surrender, Cheap Trick I don’t know, I think I just got Fannar vibes from it?  A family with a really weird, vaguely dysfunctional dynamic?  The parents have weird pasts and that’s reflected in the kids?  Yeah, that checks out.

Dead and Gone, The Black Keys Early in his pact Fannar, still presumed dead by anyone who’d previously known him, and at his patron’s beck and call  “So long/Why you waiting so long?/After every single word is said/I'm feeling dead and gone”

Sinister Kid, The Black Keys Fannar, especially early on, was wildly, blatantly self-destructive, not even trying to hide it.  “A sinister kid is a kid who/Runs to meet his maker/A drop dead sprint from the day he's born/Straight into his maker's arms/And that's me, that's me/The boy with the broken halo/That's me, that's me/The devil won't let me be”

The Kids From Yesterday, My Chemical Romance idk, I don’t remember why I originally added this one.  But it’s probably just some Fannar-reflecting-on-his-past from time to time

Sleep, My Chemical Romance Admittedly, Fannar’s done some pretty shitty things, but he’s a lot harder on himself than anyone else is, “Undeserving of your sympathy 'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did” so it’s easier to just own it and revel in the idea that he’s a bad person who isn’t sorry than admit to anything.

Once Upon a December, Liz Callaway (Anastasia) BACKSTORY JAM!!!!!!  This is like,,,,baby Fannar, his present self is so detached from who he was as a small child that that whole part of his life doesn’t really feel real.  He knows it happened, but it’s such a 180 he can’t properly wrap his head around it.

One Way Or Another, Blondie Early on in the campaign he was being tracked down by someone, who later turned out to be his Nana Frostyears (his childhood governess, i guess i’ll call her a governess), tracking him down to bring him home to save the kingdom

Unknown Brother, The Black Keys This is more from his brother Orvar’s perspective, Orvar trying to wrap his head around what happened to his baby brother Fannar as an outsider looking in.  “Though I never met you/And we spoke not a word/I'll never forget you/Through stories that I have heard/For you unknown brother/My baby's mother's pained/Because your soul is in heaven/But your memory remains”

Death By Glamour, Toby Fox The ranger (Isorropia) and the druid/DM1 (Thrain) were talking about Fannar amongst themselves and decided that it fit him and I was inclined to agree.

Don’t Stop Me Now, Queen Fannar, a few years post-backstory, come into himself, still an impulsive bastard but he’s having fun now.

Dinner & Diatribes, Hozier Look, I’m sorry but a lot of songs are gonna be on here bc they’re horny and this is one of them.  This could be Fannar’s pov, it could be an attractive stranger interested in Fannar’s pov, it could go either way.   “Honey, this club here is stuck up/Dinner and diatribes/I knew it from the first look of/The look of mischief in your eyes”

Movement, Hozier yet another Horny Song, but this time a little more, awed by the other person bc when Fannar decides he wants to sleep with someone he goes big or goes home and sets his sights on impressive people......like a dragon  “I still watch you when you're groovin'/As if through water from the bottom of a pool/You're movin' without movin'/And when you move, I'm moved”

Blame It On The Girls, MIKA OH BOY this pretty aptly sums up Fannar’s attitude and attitudes abt various family members, this song is just, a perfect summary of Fannar, though I guess it’s more someone describing him as opposed to Fannar saying it himself  “Blame it on the girls who know what to do/Blame it on the boys who keep hitting on you/Blame it on your mother for the things she said/Blame it on your father but you know he's dead”

Burning Pile, Mother Mother sometimes Fannar’s bullshit, baggage, and mistakes catch up with him and the easiest thing to do is to torch it.  why would he ever actually deal with it fully?   “All my troubles on a burning pile/All lit up and I start to smile/If I, catch fire then I change my aim/Throw my troubles at the world again”

cherubim, serpentwithfeet ANOTHER horny song but this is specifically abt someone!  There’s a character that I have Fannar paired off with in my canon-compliant writing, Renault, the War King of Ragnas.  Who, well, Fannar started off as a consort but then it turned out that he really liked him, and he felt the same way and it’s probably the best romantic relationship of Fannar’s life so he feels a certain level of devotion to Renault.  “Boy, every time I worship you/My mouth is filled with honey/Boy, as I build your throne/I feel myself growing”

Savior, St. Vincent [lord farquaad pointing meme] horny, Fannar is more than willing to fill sexual roles for people, fulfill what other people think of him because that’s easier than having his own concrete identity, though he knows it has its limits “You dress me up in a nurse's outfit/It rides and sticks to my thighs and my hips...... Honey, I can't be your savior/Love you to the grave and farther/Honey, I am not your martyr”

Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue), Hozier [lord farquaad pointing meme but deep fried] HORNY Look, Fannar knows what he’s about, and also maybe sometimes he can be horny in an emotional way that makes him a little bit sappy abt the present events  “Be thankful some know it lovingly/There the reason comes in the common tongue of your loving me”

Low Lays the Devil, The Veils okay, I originally put this on here bc I think it was a recommended song on a different playlist and i wanted to save it and so i saved it to Fannar’s playlist bc it fit that one best.  Overall, just a general allusion to Fannar’s fiendish heritage as a tiefling I suppose and also how he generally likes to hype people up to by proxy hype himself up   “High as the heavenly sea/Low lays the devil in me...Come lay your head on my lap/And let your hair fall back/You've got to live with yourself”

Save A Horse (Ride a Cowboy), Big & Rich Okay, I added this jokingly bc I managed to convince myself that Fannar would fucking love this song, absolutely jam out to it while he’s fucking wasted.  Also, maybe his type is ‘Cowboy’ and that’s hella valid of him.

Horns, Bryce Fox He’s a tiefling!  A tiefling with very prominent horns!  He’s gotta learn to take pride in that shit and learn how to think of them as attractive

It’s Hard to Be Humble, Mac Davis Look, Fannar knows how to hype himself up and strut and preen like the peacock he is, being humble is not a part of his persona

Little Lion Man, Mumford & Sons hahahahaha, scratch through Fannar’s exterior deep enough and you’ll easily find someone who was put through a fucking meat grinder and had his identity crumbled into a million jagged bits.  He maybe could have been a great wizard, and insightful advisor to his brother when he became king, but instead he was broken and choked on the poison poured into his mind   “Tremble for yourself, my man,/You know that you have seen this all before/Tremble little lion man,/You'll never settle any of your scores/Your grace is wasted in your face,/Your boldness stands alone among the wreck/Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck”

You’re My Best Friend, Queen I needed a song for Fannar and Isorropia.  Isorropia is his best friend (and tbh he considers her to be like a sister, though he doesn’t really expect her to feel the same way) and he feels very strongly about her.  He would kill a man for Rope.

Everybody Wants To Rule the World, Tears For Fears A pretty central even in Fannar’s backstory was his trying to take the throne of his home kingdom and he generally cares about being in control of himself and his situation, having no control over what’s happening to him is not a good time

I Don’t Know What We’re Talking About, Ninja Sex Party Okay, there’s a running thing where whenever we’re in a bathhouse or something I’ll just shout out “Fannar disassociates in the bath” which started off as a joke but then I realized Fannar doesn’t like being alone with his thoughts or his body.  He didn’t grow up with this tiefling body and as much as he can claim to be comfortable with himself, he can’t always manage to put his money where his mouth is.  There was one notable time where Fannar was completely checked out in the baths in this inn in Vulcanica and the party managed to chase a guy down into an alley and fight him, all while Fannar stayed sat in the bath.  (See also, this is why Fannar is such a promiscuous character, he’s trying to assert confidence in his body by being overtly sexual)

Catch Me Now I’m Falling, The Kinks Ya boi fell.  He notably fell into a massive fucking abyss and it would have killed him had he not made his pact with Auril

Emperor’s New Clothes, Panic! at the Disco Big Fannar vibes, he’s big and dramatic and as someone who grew up among nobility and hated it he knows how to clock fake people who clothe themselves in pretension and importance.  Also lowkey speaks to his ambitions to become an archfey himself someday  “Sycophants on velvet sofas/Lavish mansions, vintage wine/I am so much more than royal/Snatch your chain and mace your eyes/If it feels good, tastes good/It must be mine/Heroes always get remembered/But you know legends never die”

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, Panic! at the Disco What can I say besides Fannar is a party animal

Somebody To Love, Queen HE’S JUST A BIG DUMB GAY WHO MASKS HIS EMOTIONS BUT DEEP DOWN WOULD REALLY LIKE TO JUST GENUINELY BE LOVED, HE’S GOT PLATONIC LOVE IN THE FORM OF HIS INTER-PARTY FRIENDSHIPS BUT HEY HE’D LIKE SOME ROMANCE TOO PLEASE AND THANKS (SHOUTOUT TO RENAULT)

Viva La Vida, Coldplay More backstory allusion stuff, he was a big dumbass who wanted to rule but his reputation crumbled around him and all of those ambitions became untenable.

[comicteaparty]

January 29th-February 4th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from January 29th, 2020 to February 4th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

Which genre is your favorite for webcomics and which is your least favorite? Why is that?

carcarchu

Romance is without a doubt my favourite genre although i do have a particular soft spot for historical series too (and if it combines the 2 that's a dream come true ). as for my least favourite i guess sci-fi, i'm really not a fan of having to remember a ton of world building details and the backstories of some sci-fi series feel like reading a textbook sometimes. also comedy can be really hit or miss for me if the sense of humour used in the comic doesn't do it for me

Capitania do Azar

Honestly I'll read petty much anything if I'm having fun, not necessarily a genre-related issue. I think nice, interesting stories can be crafted in any genres. That being said, fantasy is usually not my jam and I really like Sci-fi

Kabocha

When it comes to webcomics, I'll read a lot of stuff! But I think Fantasy and Drama have a soft spot in my heart for some reason! I really enjoy it when a creator seems to be having fun (or is aware) of how hammy their drama can be -- and fantasy can be chock full of it! (And as an aside, I love the heck outta romance when done well! A lot of webcomics that classify themselves as romances tend to be more Drama than Romance, mostly bc they don't follow the genre conventions of romance, and instead stick to a more dramatic-oriented plot structure... it's intriguing.) Anyway! I think my least favorite these days is slice of life and gaming comics. A lot of it gets really weird and overwrought and I just... I dunno, there's gotta be a draw. Gaming comics just aren't very fun to read, esp as I've gotten older. A lot of it feels like "hey here's this pop culture reference this small-ish in group gets! how funny! hahaha" or punching down, and... I dunno, I don't have a lot of time to keep on top of memes for games I don't/can't play.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I love fantasy and sci-fi, mostly because I'm a world-building nut. I want to get lost in a new place when I read. This also extends towards historical comics, but those are pretty rare. I won't lie though, I definitely fact-check historical comics when I read them, because I want to know how much I can trust the accuracy of the setting. I also tend to enjoy romance if done well, and especially when blended with other genres. IMO, romances can be kinda samey by themselves, so there needs to be some other plot outside of the characters' relationship for me to stay invested. As for least favorite genres... Definitely comedy and slice-of-life. As someone who regularly watches stand-up, I don't typically find comedy comics very funny most of the time, especially relatable gag-a-day types. As for slice-of-life, it often seems... boring to me. I mean, I might just be mentally unable to process the nuances or something, but what actually happens in slice-of-lifes? That being said, there are always exceptions to these preferences, because I have been completely turned off from certain fantasy comics, for example, and there are definitely comedies that I have enjoyed thoroughly. In the end, all that really matters is if a specific comic suits my tastes/quality expectations, genre tossed aside

Ash🦀

When it comes to webcomics, animal stories and fantasy are definitely my favorites. I like getting lost in a world, I don’t want to stay in my own if I’m trying to escape. Oh, also, and actually being able to read emotions. On animals, because the style and emotion often have to be pushed so much, it’s way easier on me to be able to parse expressions on an animal than a human. Might just be my autistic brain tho /shrug Also, sci fi, heavy dose of “sci” in there. If I feel like I’m learning something it makes it so much more fun. My least favorite genres are romance and historical. To be honest, I find historical pieces rely so much on the politics and the talking and the human nuance I don’t much understand in the first place that I end up getting bored or confused or both. And romance is... well, my mom constantly had hallmark movies on, so I’ve kind of grown to hate the romance genre as a whole tbh. If it’s a side piece in a fantasy, fine, okay. Too often they’re unbelievable and the couple just doesn’t have any chemistry, and I just end up not buying it, so I’d like to yeet it to the side as much as possible in most cases. Now, there are some that are exceptions, here, but they are few and far between. Somehow, LGBTA+ romance just blows past this hangup, however. I dunno, it’s easier for me to care then, it feels newer, and... well, frankly, a good deal of the time they’re written better, I dunno. So, they’re the exception to the rule.

Kabocha

Hard agree on the LGBTA+ romance -- but also other marginalized groups tend to be more thoughtful in romance and tropes they use! While there's a general sort of... uh, set of expectations as far as plot and the happily-ever-after/happy-for-now ending, it's honestly really just sort of nice to see creators be mindful about what they're making, and write stuff that isn't just the same sort of nonsense that gets marketed in the mainstream. ...Now this is making me think about how much I would love to see Courtney Milan or Alyssa Cole's works translated into comics... If they could do Pride and Prejudice, someone pls give me A Princess in Theory (Sorry, I'm... a little bit of an aficionado for the genre, particularly in romance novels)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I was never able to get into ANY romance until I started reading some LGBTQ+ ones. I never liked the genre before then, but I think it was just because I couldn’t identify with / care about all the cishet couple represented. Once I was reading a romance I actually could connect with, it was completely different. It’s still not a genre I like to read very often because it’s so trope-heavy, though.

keii4ii

I feel like romance gets pigeonholed into a specific (and admittedly prevalent/highly visible) type, kinda like how "fantasy" was pigeonholed as Tolkienish fantasy for years and years until recently.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

As for what genres I do like, definitely fantasy. I especially like dark stories with lots of nuance, twisty plots, and some surreality. I like both high and urban fantasy, though as I get older, I lean more towards the latter. There’s someone really fascinating to me about mixing modern tech with magic and the supernatural. My least favourite (apart from most romance) is probably newspaper-style webcomics. I’m just not into that into punchline-a-strip or art art that has a Saturday-morning-cartoon feel. Not that it’s bad in any way, and I actually do have a few exceptions of comics in that style that I DO like, but it’s just not really my thing. I also can’t really get into political comics or war stories.

@keii4ii Yeah, it definitely does! And it becomes frustrating to try and find Something Different within the genre when the vast majority of it is using the same tropes and set up. I think that’s also why I’ve started leaning more towards urban fantasy as I’ve aged because a lot of high fantasy was becoming ‘more of the same’.

(says someone who creates a Tolkein-esque high fantasy comic )

keii4ii

You can still tell great stories within those prevalent types. Just gotta be mindful about choosing tropes/archetypes because they work for the story, as opposed to just going with them mindlessly. But that's not really extra work; that mindfulness is important no matter what kind of a story you're writing, IMO!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I also say I don’t get into punchline-a-strip comedy and yet have TWO comics in that genre, so I’m kind of a hypocrite.

Oh yes, definitely! I do try to avoid or even subvert some of those very common tropes, though I’m sure I don’t always succeed! Some tropes can be very effective, just not when every story feels like you’ve read this a hundred times before with minor variation.

Kabocha

Honestly, that's one of the great things about self pub and webcomics -- you can get SO many more unique voices without the gatekeepers that traditionally held genres and markets back. Like, y'all might not have heard, but back years and years ago, Borders had someone working there at the corporate level that helped stock genre fiction -- but basically segregated POC authors from the genres that they were actually writing in. Which was a load of crap. (And that's not even getting into issues with queer media and fiction being stocked in stores or even published.) So basically in stores you'd see for a while, kind of the samey sort of stuff that you find in genre fiction -- and I think webcomics helps kind of... break out of those same sorts of expectations for various genres? It's kind of nice on the whole.

FeatheryJustice

Favourite genre of comics: Comedy and Action. If I could find Jackie Chan action and humour combo in a comic I would love the hell out of it. Least favourite: Slice of Life of the drama variety and romance variety. I dont mind if it is slice of life with action or slice of life informative because I am reading for more. If it is a romance between just two high schoolers doing nothing then I get bored. If it is two high schoolers in a slice of life but it focuses on them working on an animation together giving us animation information I would be okay with that.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, as someone who makes a fantasy series that plays with the amnesia trope like it went out of style (spoilers, it did), I totally agree that fantasy and romance can be very tropey.

kzuich

I like comedy and slice-of-life. Occasionally I like drama, but only if it's mixed with comedy. Or black comedy. (Seeing a recurring theme here? xD)

Or drama. With comedy sprinkled in.

I don't know why but I've always felt webcomics were really great for comedy. Some of the funniest stuff I've read was a webcomic. Dunno why. Least favorite genre? I don't really have one. I'll read anything but those are the genres I actually -like-.

DanitheCarutor

I'll read just about anything. I love stuff with some kind of surrealistic or abstract quality to it, like Weaker Sides (https://www.weakersides.com/), Seluda (https://tapas.io/series/seluda) and Hookteeth (https://hookteethcomic.com/). I also really enjoy stuff that is sad, or deals with heavy themes due to the feeling of catharsis they give me. Sun Rising (https://tapas.io/series/Sun-Rising), Rescue Me (https://tapas.io/series/Rescue-Me) and The Dogs on the Railroad (https://tapas.io/series/The-Dogs-on-the-Railroad) come to mind. It's nice to experience difficult emotions in a controlled environment. If I had to be genre specific I would have to say my favorite is the very elusive horror genre. Love me some spoopy shit and pretty much everything else that comes with it, no matter how cheesy it gets! It sucks that horror is so hard to find in webcomics, at least for me.

Least favorite genres? Gag-a-day, slice of life and romance. I have a lot of trouble getting into comedy comics that aren't story driven, so I don't usually read gag-a-days or autobios. I will read the latter two since most of the time they're good things to read when you don't want to turn your brain off for a bit, but all three genres are honestly really boring for me. When it comes to character centric stuff I really want something like a deep character study, although I haven't had luck finding stuff like that. Romance specifically, I have a hate/I don't mind relationship with. Romantic intimacy has always been super gross to me, I hate seeing people kissing on each other in movies due to an issue with how nasty the human mouth is, and the sound makes me sick to my stomach. With comics it's easier to digest, the characters are just drawings so I don't mind seeing them get all buckwild, but it's still not my most favorite. There are occasions where I can't even read a comic due to genre vs. setting. For example (and I'm am not saying this comic is bad, I mean it has over 100k subs) A Matter of Life and Death (https://tapas.io/series/A-Matter-of-Life-and-Death). I really love the art in this comic, the setting, some of the characters and the little bits of lore I saw. But it's a slice of life-esque romantic type of comic, so the world building for this extremely creative looking setting is kinda put on the back burner for intimate scenes between the MCs. Again, this doesn't make it bad. I personally turned out not to be the target demographic because I wanted 'A' and the creator wanted 'B'. Maybe I'll give this one another glance someday to see where the story has gone, I admittedly haven't read it in a couple years so the story might have developed.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

My fave is anything that deals in heavy lore-- most that fit the bill are usually fictional like fantasy and sci-fi, but there are always exceptions that play with some good world building outside those genres! I love to read comics that i can get lost in and want to almost research the world created-- as long as that element is balanced in a story, im usually up for anything! That being said however, my least favourite is the gag strips and strictly comedy. I haven't yet found any that have really made me read page after page since my first looksee with comedy comics (sassy creed and that super smash bros one come to mind so quite a while ago) but I'm sure if i was more diligent in searching through the genre I could find something for myself!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love history and sci-fi. I have a hard time getting into fiction and I like stories with a firm connection to something real in the world

kayotics

I’m a fan of fantasy stories, and I like romance sometimes as well. I don’t mind gag-a-day strips but I don’t really follow any, mostly since I’m looking for a little more meat in my story. Despite how much crossover sci-fi and fantasy have, I’m not big into sci-fi. If a story engages me in that genre, I’ll still read it, but it’s not a genre I search through. I also don’t read war comics. I have a hard no on superheroes as well, I’m just tired of them.

renieplayerone

I love anything thats a mix of SciFi and history or some other genre (its why i love blade runner, scifi film noir). Weaving history into scifi is a challenge but man does it make for really cool aesthetics and moral questions

RebelVampire

My favorite genre for webcomics is probably a tie between fantasy and sci-fi. Not only do I just personally love world-building heavy material, but I also just think webcomics is a medium well-suited to them. I kind of don't feel things like live action do those genres justice. However, webcomics have a lot of artistic freedom so art style, differing art effects, etc. can all come into play to create awe, whimsy, and a bunch of other emotions that just capture a feeling of wonder that I expect from those generes. As for least favorite genre, definitely serialized comedy - which by this I mean comics that have a story along with the comedy. For me I just...don't find a lot of them funny. A lot of the humor is a bit too trope-y for my liking or imitating comedy without really understanding why the comedy worked in the original source. So for me the jokes just rarely land even if I can appreciate the effort that went into the comics. That being said, there's always exceptions. Like http://sgkdr.webcomic.ws/ is a comic I would've initially passed just based on genre, but when i read it the humor was/is actually really smart and really creative. Just the same, there's plenty of fantasy and sci-fi comics I don't like, though this usually comes down to story execution even if I think the art is pretty to look at.

BadSprite

My favorite genres for comics are action, comedy, drama and slice of life. I'm particularly a fan of slice of life stories that take place in some fantastical world, because the nuances of the setting makes the mundane so much more interesting. Also action comedies are my jam. One of my faves being: http://paranatural.net/. I personally love how comedy is integrated into action scenes to capture the frantic nature of the situations. My least favorite genre are probably romance, it's not that I have anything against it. I just feel like there's an oversaturation of them and there's very few that brings something new to the table. Most of them feel too same-y for me.

eli [a winged tale]

It really depends on my mood~ my bookmarks are all over the place. If I really enjoy the art and the characters, I usually stay for the story. My usual go-to is fantasy, sci-fi or slice of life! I recently got into romance but I’m a bit choosey about it. I definitely echo @Kabocha ‘s statement about exploring different voices and subversion of tropes. Always eager to read tighter storylines and those that take risks in diversity. Least favourite same as @FeatherNotes(Krispy) really! Sometimes it’s funny (love strange planet) but I won’t be binging it

MJ Massey

My favorite genres of comics are fantasy, action/adventure, and romance. Especially if all three are together in one delicious package. I'll read pretty much anything but it's gotta be well paced and well written to keep me coming back

Javi

My favorite genres are action, comedy, fantasy, sci-fi, slice of life and adventure. Also anything with animal characters in it I'm already invested in it but that's just my furry brain talking (edited)

AntiBunny

I would say a broad term of adventure. Be it scifi, fantasy, road trip, or superntural I love a good adventure comic full of interesting characters and locations.

[50shadesofmittens]

I realize I never said this, but…

NSFW warning-

I might’ve said before that I think the otp would be pretty even handed in the bedroom, but something I haven’t said is what about bdsm. Or rather dominance/submissive

Because I kinda wanna share my opinion, namely that CG is the dom more often bc Magnus prefers to sub. And honestly my reasoning for this is over half of why it’d take even longer for the two of them to get to bdsm if at all.

I need to do actual research, but what I know of bdsm says that the dom holds responsibility first and foremost, power second. Idk I might be wrong, if anyone wants to correct me go ahead.

One of the things I like about this OTP is that the two grow to be on equal footing in a multitude of ways, with both holding power over the other in different ways at first until both learn to grow and they become equals on mutually higher ground. Usually this is CG’s character development, because it’s him learning to stand up for himself and be a voice of reason- he learns to talk back to those of great power and have confidence in himself through doing so with Magnus. I think being the dom would be an expression of this- being allowed to have control, to feel power in the presence of someone so much stronger- and to do a good job. (I am of course assuming CG does a good job, and everything goes well, since neither of them is going to get any of this out of it if it isn’t. Actually this whole thing describes what would probably only be able to come to pass after several successful scenes) Even though it’s a fantasy, these things would remind CG that he is competent, that he is capable, that he has something to contribute and can do good in the world. That he can make things right with Magnus implies he can make things right elsewhere.

There’s also the variable factor, which will change depending on what I want the details of cgs backstory to be: rape recovery. Because most of my headcannons have it that giving up the Custodes hedonistic ways didn’t mean giving up sex or hedonism right away. One near constant in his backstory is that I almost always imagine CG went through a period of intense promiscuity independent of the Custodians (though mileage varies on whether or not he was also involvedwith the Custodians during this time or if were talking about total separation), due to a lack of non-hedonistic coping mechanisms developed in life. That he spent a good century or two slowly learning better coping mechanisms and healthier approaches to sex, and by now has a much more solid grasp on both. That what we see now is the result of a long path of recovery. There’s just one thing Magnus has that would be difficult for CG to get at any point on this journey, and that’s someone physically larger and stronger than him as a partner. I’m not sure if that’s something CG has had anytime recently- and if not then the last time he was with someone physically larger and stronger or simply as large and strong it would’ve been one of the Custodians.

And depending on where CG is on that journey of recovery, on the decisions he’s made and the mores he now believes in, it might be helpful to have someone stronger than him as a sub. It might be harmful to be a sub to someone stronger than him. It might be helpful to be the sub to someone stronger than him. It might be helpful to be the sub to someone stronger than him, but he feels Magnus benefits more than he does from being dominated and so defaults to dom, or it takes him much longer for him to trust Magnus enough to be the sub with him, or Magnus’ issues listed below means he doesn’t yet have the skills to be a good dom whereas CG has experience of all kinds. Or maybe they alternate, that’s a possibility.

On Magnus’ end, this works because CG is one of the few people he can be around and not be in charge. Which has its ups and it’s downs- and when it comes to bdsm being the sub is an expression of the ups. Namely, it’s a chance to let go of the stress of being responsible. Not permanently of course- but that stress builds up, and being able to let go, to be irresponsible just for a little bit- that’s something I think Magnus could really benefit from. That’s something I think would let him feel more confident. I think letting himself be wrong or weak or humiliated in a situation and place where there are no consequences for these things, that would make it easier for Magnus to function.

With Magnus you have, in a sense, someone literally born to be a non-sexual dom. All the Primarchs are in every depiction incredibly powerful, charismatic, and hold a strong presence. They basically are made to be dom 24/7- they certainly fit the role with their legions. And I am making a distinction between dom and chain iof command- chain of command would be healthy and doable. Chain of command means your influence is limited to military operations. Chain of command means you’re responsible for the lives of your underlings, not every facet of their lives. But the problem with making living soldiers is that they have no lives outside military operations. Even in the pre heresy days when some legions tried to expand past their status as warriors and branch out into the arts and administrators and such, they still followed their Primarchs lead- they still had a dom responsible for this aspect of their lives. It’s a more hands off situation, but it’s still always always always something explored that lines up with the interests and approval of the Primarch- meaning the doms influence is still present.

And that’s… not healthy. Not for the subs, but also not for I think 99% of all doms.

Human beings are not made to be in complete control, all of the time. I don’t have sources yet and I really need to find them, but you can probably see this in every well-meaning or benevolent leader who got too power hungry and became a tyrant. And you can argue that the Primarchs aren’t fully human, that the Emperor thought of and accounted for these things, that the Primarchs were designed so that they could handle the stress…

But the thing is, I don’t think they were. Their mistakes, for many traitor and loyal alike, are directly tied to their positions of total power and their inability to handle it responsibly.

But not a healthy way to live. You constantly have power, but you constantly have reaponsibility. We see Curze in particular crack under the pressure, unable to control his legion and unable to let go of his responsibility for their actions. We see Horus and admittedly all Traitor Primarchs break and abuse their power because they know no other way, and the whole chain of command issue causes conflicts. A military chain of command is ironclad but not omnipresent, and even that can be rough for leaders. Combining it with complete dominance as the Primarchs and their legions do, you get omnipresent and ironclad power. It’s exhausting to handle properly, ultimately either you let it go or you stop handling it properly and start abusing it.

Being sub to CG would be a way for Magnus to let go of that power, in a way that allows him to pick it back up again when he’s done. To find reprieve, so that the next time he faces a decision that challenges his fears and vendettas, he doesn’t feel as pressured to be right. He doesn’t get as swept up in his emotions, and he can think more critically before he acts.

All of this, and I think it’d be hilarious if team Emps somehow unexpectedly captured an enraged Primarch (not Dorn or Magnus) and found that the only restraints they had that could actually hold the guy were the Primarch-strength handcuffs CG keeps for personal use. (Nevermind how they exist or how he got them in the first place, the point is that he had them. On hand)

[must-be-brooklyn]

A Future Together

Paring: Javid 

Words: 1.6k

Their time together was comprised of stolen moments and filled with forbidden kisses. That did not mean that it felt any less draining to pull away and pretend to be friends until their next rendezvous. 

- o -

In which Jack and David share a moment and discuss their future.

“You should leave.”

Jack looked at David, his eyes reflecting the flickering of the candle that sat in the window frame. The tiny flame was the only light on the fire escape. Even the stars and moon had disappeared behind clouds of city smog.

David’s stomach flopped like it always did when Jack gave him that look. “I mean it. Crutchie’ll get worried. You said you’d be back early today. It’s already gone eleven.”

Grinning, Jack just settled himself more comfortably against the railings of the stairwell. “Well, it’s my duty to make sure selling partners get home safe now, ain’t it?”

“We stopped selling together over a year ago,” David reminded him fondly. “Besides, as much as I love your company, won’t the lodging house shut at midnight?” He, too, leant back against the window frame and shifted the candle a little further across so he did not bump it. “As much as I’d love to offer you a place here, the floor is about the only place where there’s still any space.”

Jack laughed softly. “Naw, it’s ‘right. I can just take the fire escape up. Everyone knows ta keep the window open.”

They sat there in contented silence for a while. Slowly, Jack inched his hand closer to David’s until he could tangle their fingers together. David looked and smiled, squeezing Jack’s hand with care.

A sudden gust of wind blew past them, extinguishing the candle.

“Oh, damn.” David pulled his hand out of Jack’s and leant his body into the bedroom to find the matches again. “Not again.”

Jack pulled him back. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Dave. It’s not that dark out.” That was a clear lie – David could barely make out the other side of the street – but he obliged and set the candle inside so the wax would harden without the risk of anyone knocking it over. As trivial as it was, they were always careful to conserve the kerosene and wax as much as possible. It was expensive to replace too often.

“Besides,” Jack said, lowering his voice and shifting closer to David, “It means I can do this.” He took David’s hand and bought it softly to his mouth to kiss it.

David could feel his cheeks burning red. “Don’t, someone might see!”

Jack looked around and laughed under his breath. “In this light? Naw. This escape don’t even lead to a main road. Ain’t no one gonna know.”

“My family’s only a room away and Les is asleep in here!” David gestured towards the room on the other side of the window. “They can’t know, Jack, they can’t.”

Jack gave David’s hand another, lingering kiss. He did not look up as he spoke. “They don’t have ta know, Dave. They ain’t gonna know if youse don’t want ‘em to.” Finally, he raised his head and gazed into David’s eyes. “But, I think they’s lovin’ you too much to get angry.”

David sighed and averted his eyes from Jack’s. His chest felt vaguely sore as if someone had winded him. He stared out at the street, despite being unable to see anything out there. “Do you ever think there could be a time when people like us are accepted?”

“One day?” Jack paused for a moment and ran his thumb over David’s knuckles. “Yeah, I think so. One day we’se gonna be able to live like all the other folks ‘round here. Have our own flat, no funny questions, police won’t care. The whole works.”

That made David smile. It was hard to imagine such a world sometimes. “Maybe, one day, people like us could even get married,” David sighed. It was rare that he even though of marriage; he was only seventeen and it was never something that had appealed to him as a child except for out of a sense of duty to his family. His parents had married when they were just eighteen, though, and that had terrified David when he was younger.

“Can you imagine that?” Jack laughed. “Mr and Mr Jacobs. Or Mr and Mr Kelly, I suppose.”

“Kelly,” David said quickly, “Jack Jacbos just sounds silly.”

Jack exhaled and pressed his shoulder to David’s. “It’ll happen one day,” he said with a smile.

“One day,” David agreed. He rested his head on Jack’s shoulder and let his mind drift from there. It was a content silence that David had come to treasure over the year and a half he had known Jack. The time they got alone together was rare, so David always treasured it, even if it was just them sitting in silence.

It had been over a year since they had started their bizarre version of a courtship. David occasionally tried to remember exactly what had led up to it, but more often than not, he came up blank. The day that Pulitzer had agreed to the new terms had been enough of a whirlwind of emotions as it was. Adding Jack into the occasion just made everything even more blurry.

David remembered a dark alleyway, lots of laughter, hands everywhere, and the most brilliant kiss he had ever had in his life. (Which, admittedly, was not saying much. He had only ever kissed one other boy when he was seven and they thought they were being very clever copying their parents.) A whispered confession and too many secret meetings to count later, and here they were. David did not know if this was love, but he prayed that it was.

“Dawid,” a quiet voice said. David sprung apart from Jack like he had been stung. His mother’s face appeared at the window, completely oblivious to what David and Jack had been talking about just minutes before. “Już czas przyjść do środka.”

“Daj mi chwilę, Mama,” David replied. She nodded and walked back out of the room, smoothing down the covers on the bed and kissing Les’s forehead as she went.

The door closed and David turned back to Jack. “She said I had to go inside now.”

Jack nodded and released his tight hold on David’s hand so that their hands were only brushing. “I should go back to the lodgin’ house then, I guess.” 

David swallowed and forced himself to agree. Their time together was comprised of stolen moments and filled with forbidden kisses. They had to end each meeting while they were ahead. That did not mean that it felt any less draining to pull away and pretend to be friends until their next rendezvous.

Leaning forwards, they fell into a gentle kiss. It was like always: warm, chaste and breathtaking. David’s insides felt like they were melting, and he reached one hand to cup Jack’s chin.

It had to end all too soon, though. Jack pulled away and, giving David a smile, stood up. “See you tomorrow?”

David nodded quickly. “Les and I’ll be there for the evening paper.” He stood up as well and his hands

Skimmed over Jack’s. He pressed a final kiss to Jack’s lips and stepped back.

Jack grinned at him. Then, he turned and disappeared down the fire escape. It was dark enough that David soon lost track of where he was, so he clambered back through the window and closed it except for a tiny crack so that people could find him if they needed him.

Absentmindedly, David walked into the main room to wish his parents good night, allowing Sarah to get herself ready for bed, before changing his own clothes and climbing into the bunk next to Les. Mumbling sleepily, Les simply rolled over and allowed David to pull some of the blanket over himself.

Sarah’s breaths soon evened out, but David lay there staring at the ceiling. His mind was still buzzing. He turned restlessly, only to find Les blearily watching at him.

“Go to sleep, Les,” David whispered as quietly as possible.

Les kept looking at him. “You’re thinking too loudly.” David opened his mouth to defend himself, but Les cut him off before he could. “I heard you tonight. Talking with Jack.”

David’s heart stopped beating as his mouth fell open in horror. “Don’t tell anyone what you heard,” he hissed, cheeks burning. “Please, Les, we’ll get in so much trouble.”

“Would you really want to get married to him?” Les completely ignored David’s words. “Like, really really? When you’re older.”

David sighed, but gave up protesting. The damage was done, and it would be easier for everyone if he just let Les cycle through his questions. “I don’t know, maybe,” David hesitated, “I’m only seventeen, Les. That’s pretty young to think about getting married.”

“Mama and Aba got married when they were eighteen,” Les said with no hesitation. “I think you and Jack should get married. Because you’re smart, so you can get a fancy job, and Jack’s really good at art, so he can get a fancy job, too, and then you can get a nice apartment, like you said, and then all the newsies can live with you and so they never have to sleep on the streets again. Don’t you think that’d be good?”

It was so obviously ten-year-old logic that it almost made David want to cry. “Sure, Les. But you know that you can’t tell anyone this, right? We’d get in a lot of trouble.” His body felt tingly and he could not pin down exactly why. Swallowing felt oddly thick.

“I know,” Les murmured, “but it’d still be nice.” He yawned and struggled to keep his eyes open.

David swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat. “Go to sleep, Les.”

Les needed no more encouragement to turn over and fall asleep again. David watched him for a few minutes before screwing his eyes tightly shut. For now, they were trapped on all sides by society, but maybe Les was right. Maybe one day they could have a future.

Update from the author: I still suck at naming fics and I haven’t properly proofread this yet bc I actually need to be writing an IA on the Hungarian Revolution that I haven’t started yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dawid - The Polish version of David

Już czas przyjść do środka - It’s time to come inside

Daj mi chwilę, Mama - Give me a minute, Mama

(If you’ve read any of the other stuff I wrote, you might’ve picked up that I hc the Jacobs were originally from NE Poland and moved to NY in the late 1880s, which -  in all seriousness - was historically just after a famine and during a period economic difficulty, persecution of Judaism and a systematic oppression where the Kingdom of Prussia (later the German Empire) and the Russian Empire attempted to systematically eradicate the Polish language during the Partitions of Poland. For that reason, I also imagine that David and Sarah would probably be able to speak a small amount of Russian (which they probably would have stopped using as soon as they left Poland), Polish and Yiddish from growing up in Poland and bc their parents speak both of those languages and enough Hebrew to know and understand traditional prayers, etc., which Les - who I imagine as being born in NY - would speak no Russian, little Hebrew, be self-conscious about his Yiddish/Polish and  more comfortable speaking in English). 

Idk - if anyone’s interested, maybe I could do a post on the Jacobs family? Let me know if you do want to see one haha 

[lazy-stitch]

Ya girl needs very little encouragement to post things lmao, so here y’all go. (also, I’m really sorry if there’s weird symbols where the apostrophes etc are?  I can’t see it on mobile, but on desktop it’s all over my posts... They only show up when I put a read more cut, but since this is so long I’m not gonna exclude one.  I’d get rid of the symbols manually if I could, but they don’t appear when I’m editing the post.  They disappear once you click keep reading tho.)

Title: sock slides.docx? Lmao it doesn’t have one yet bc titles are generally the last thing I do Rating: g+ - it is dumb domestic stuff with mutual pining, some cursing Ship: Scarlet Vision Word count rn: 6669 Warning: This is still a wip (and if I knew what to do with it, it’s like... only 2/3rds the way done?) and I make zero (0) guarantees I’ll ever finish it since it has been troubling me for so long.  If I do, I’ll post the link to my ao3 I guess (tbh tho my user there is the same so I’m not that hard to find).

"You think they know there are live cameras all around the compound, even in our living quarters?"

Five pairs of dubious eyes turned from the computer screen to Steve. He shrugged, a sort of smile on his face.  He’d only recently figured out Tony had installed cameras into the living areas of the Avengers Compound, so it didn’t hurt to ask – especially since he felt watching this feed was an invasion of privacy (it was a cute video, granted, but it just felt wrong to watch it if they didn’t know there were working cameras all over the place).

“Maybe they think they’re dummy cams?” Sam offered.  He, too, had been a bit late on noticing the camera system, and it was only when Steve had asked about them that he’d been told they were recording everything.  Considering how big the Avengers Compound was, which was comparable to a large museum, he didn’t feel ashamed that he’d assumed the cameras in the living quarters were fakes.  At Sam’s side, Tony snorted and rolled his eyes.

“They probably didn’t think we’d check,” Tony said, because he knew for a fact at least one of the two in question knew about the extensive camera system at the Compound.  He’d helped Tony install the cameras, which is why Vision knew the living area feed would only be checked if a problem occurred. There hadn’t been any red flags sent up while the rest of the Avengers had been on a mission, leaving Vision and Wanda to housesit, no.  It was the fact they’d had the Compound to themselves.  Natasha claimed Vision acted differently around Wanda if he thought no one would notice (and vice versa), and Steve voiced similar opinions that Wanda and Vision seemed to favor each other after watching simulation trainings. That had garnered the interest of the rest of the Avengers, new and old, and there wasn’t a better opportunity to observe them than on the camera feeds while all of the other Avengers were on a mission.  They all acknowledged it was a bit underhanded, but, as leaders of the New Avengers team, Natasha and Steve did need to know how their team acted around each other.  They’d need to know if Vision and Wanda were closer than originally presumed to plan for possible bad reactions if one got hurt.

Or so Natasha said before they’d silently returned to the Compound and entered the tiny security room to watch the video feeds.  

The two drifters who rarely visited the Compound and had little to do with the New Avengers, Clint and Tony, had their own justifications to wanting to see the feed.  Clint wanted to check in on Wanda after hearing whom her supposed favorite person was. Since Pietro’s death, he’d become a father figure to her, so Clint felt responsible for looking out for Wanda, especially if she ever decided to look for a romantic partner.  He didn’t think Vision was a bad guy (far from it, in fact), but there was the question of if Vision had emotions.  Clint didn’t want Wanda to get hurt.  It was a bit hard adjusting his behavior and advice to a young adult from his children who hadn’t even entered their teens, but it was definitely worth it even if he accidentally overstepped his bounds every now and then.  Tony just wanted to see how things were progressing with his self-proclaimed “robot son.”  He felt at odds with three of the four newest Avengers.  Sam was easy enough to get along with, but it wasn’t like Tony really knew the guy. And Wanda and Vision were on a whole different level of… everything.  He wasn’t sure where to start with either of them even though he knew Vision should be easier to talk to than Wanda.  There was just something that made talking to the guy really, really difficult for Tony.

“Boys, you're all wrong.  They're kids being kids, and kids do weird shit when they're bored - and they don't care who sees.  This doesn’t even classify as 'weird shit' because I'd call you a damn liar if you said you hadn't done this before - except for our resident fossil," Natasha laughed, swiveling around in the computer chair to face them.  She’d claimed the single chair in the room immediately upon entering it, leaving the men to awkwardly scrunch together behind her. Rhodes and Clint were at her sides while Sam, Tony, and Steve were pressed together behind them.

"Okay, no, it definitely counts as 'weird shit' because pretty much anything involving Vision classifies as 'weird shit,'" Tony argued, pointing at the screen as Vision quickly appeared on it, barely noticeable red wisps around his ankles and wearing clothes none of them ever thought he’d wear.

"You don't know the guy 'cause you're rarely here, Tony.  Vision is the embodiment of ‘weird,’ so this is normal by Vision standards.  Weird was when Nat was teaching them how to swim," Sam countered.

“And when Tony drunkenly tried to teach Vision to twerk at that Stark charity ball thing,” Clint sniggered. Everyone but Tony had a chuckle remembering how Tony had nearly succeeded explaining why people twerked before Wanda dragged Vision away from him.

“Hold on, that wasn’t weird - that was father-son bonding time!”

“Anyone else smell that?  It’s the patent Stark bullshit.”

"I just want to know how she convinced him to join her," Rhodes said, a bit loudly for his norm, wanting to stop the oncoming squabble between Clint and Tony.

"First of all, Vision rarely says no to things.  Second of all - and this really negates the need for my first point - it's Wanda," Natasha shrugged, swiveling around to look at the screen again.  On one hand, there was no chance she could blackmail Vision with this because he seemed to have no shame, but Wanda, on the other hand...

"... True," Rhodes agreed, holding his hands up in the air in defeat.  Clint wished someone had a follow up comment to disagree, but silence enveloped the room as they watched the camera feed for the third or fourth time through.

"Hey, Steve… are those your socks?" Sam squinted at the screen, pointing at Vision's feet.  Natasha paused the video since it was one of the few times the living room furniture didn't block out Vision and Wanda's lower halves, and Rhodes moved aside so Steve could get closer to the computer and get a better look.

"Yes, yes they are." 

"Vis, come on.  It's not like we're breaking in.  The only time Steve locks his door is when he’s sleeping, and he only does that because Stark drew on his face while drunk one time," Wanda said, tugging at Vision's hand.  He’d followed her willingly enough from the living room to Steve’s closed, but admittedly unlocked door, yet his stomach had twisted with each step they took. Vision felt curiously jumpy and had to stamp down the need to look over his shoulder as if the rest of the Avengers would burst into the living quarters of the Compound at any moment. He knew they were not due back until at least the following morning, and yet his shoulders were taut under his shirt and his mouth was dry.

"You told me that closed doors meant the room's owner did not want others coming in on their own free will." It wasn't a lie - Wanda had told him that.  Vision just didn’t want to tell Wanda the real reason why he didn’t want to enter Steve’s room, though he wouldn’t be surprised if she could read his mood.  He was feeling rather… silly, really, about the whole situation.  Over the ten months since his birth, Vision had learned and done many things, but there was one thing that always seemed to elude him: denying Wanda when she requested something from him.  All she had to do was turn her green eyes to him and give the slightest hint of a smile, and his systems always seemed to fail.  He figured it was a fault in his programming (which was done by Tony, who could never say no to a pretty face, something Wanda definitely had).  Not that she’d ever made him do something he truly didn’t want to do, just… things he normally would never even think of doing.  Humans were very, very odd sometimes, but he did enjoy humoring them (especially Wanda, who came up with the strangest things).  

Vision avoided looking at Wanda’s face after his comment and instead concentrated on their linked hands, knowing she was about to start pouting at him. He had, after all, caved in to her request and was already wearing what she deemed “appropriate” clothing for the occasion.  Her pout would also likely mean his immediate downfall, as Vision knew he agreed to whatever she said after she pouted 96.742% of the time.  There was just something about the way Wanda’s lower lip jutted and her eyebrows worried her brow that made him forget his misgivings and do what she wanted him to do.  It was even more effective than her various smiles.

Vision’s eyes automatically followed his hand when Wanda brought it up to her face by her chin, and the corners of his lips twitched upwards as he accepted defeat.  She’d brought his attention right to where he’d been attempting to avoid. Sometimes, he wondered if she actually knew his weak points or if she was just insanely lucky.

"Yes, but we're doing this in the name of science, Vis.  Science.  You love science.  And, also, it's Steve.  If he even found out, he wouldn't mind one bit.  It's not like we're stealing any of his possessions.  We're just borrowing a pair of his socks, which we're even going to wash for him when we're done,” Wanda paused slightly, and she continued before Vision even had the chance to open his mouth, “You won't get them dirty, but the floor might.  And it’s common courtesy." Vision expelled his breath through his nose, halfway between amused and amazed.  She’d done it again.  It was hard not to question if Wanda ever read his mind even though he knew she never did without his explicit permission.  She always seemed to know what he'd say before he said it.  Vision had gone to Sam to question him about Wanda’s knack for knowing what to say and do, and Sam had laughed it off, saying that’s just how best friends were.  There wasn't any real proof behind it, it was just something that... was.  A soft, full-blown smile wormed its way onto his face, a warm buzz filling his chest that soon traveled across his whole body.  He repositioned his hand that was caught between both of hers so he could squeeze one, completely ignoring the hum in his lips that could only be silenced by meeting Wanda’s cheek.

Vision really needed to look into his coding to figure out how to say no to all the absolutely ridiculous things Wanda got him to do and how to shut down the odd impulses he had around her.

"In the name of science, then," he said, artificial heart skipping a beat when a radiant, toothy grin spread across her face.  Which definitely did not have anything to do with why he agreed to her schemes, no, not at all.  

That was absurd as well as impossible for someone like him.

With a tap to the monitor screen outside of Steve’s door, Wanda got them access to his room.  Vision bit the inside of his cheek when she didn’t release his hand and instead intertwined their fingers.  It was a little awkward, since her hand was smaller than his and their vastly different heights made the position of their arms uncomfortable, but Wanda seemed as keen as Vision was to let go – which meant she was going to hold on until she absolutely needed to release his hand.  Vision let her lead him into Steve’s room, but he didn’t peer around it in respect of Steve’s privacy since he’d never been in Steve’s room before.  Wanda, however, apparently had been because she led him confidently to a chest of drawers on the far wall and dropped to her knees to open the bottom drawer.  Vision had to lean over awkwardly to not let go of her hand, but it did provide him with a better view of what she was doing as Wanda immediately reached to the very back of the drawer.  Though it was filled with white and gray undershirts, she pulled out the socks she wanted with a flourish and a wicked smirk over her shoulder.  Steve had described the socks as “garishly wonderful.” Vision preferred referring to them as an assault on his eyes.  The crew socks had been part of a five-pack of male Avengers themed soft, fuzzy socks, and Sam had gifted them to Steve on Steve’s birthday as a joke.  The socks currently in Wanda’s hand were the Captain America themed ones.  They were obnoxiously red, white, and blue to replicate Steve’s original costume from the 1940s, complete with little white, protruding wings at the top that were reminiscent of the ones on his helmet.

Vision’s eye unconsciously twitched.  Wanda’s smirk grew wider.

"Are you certain I actually need to wear the socks?  I can just copy them myself." It was futile. Vision knew it, yet he felt the need to ask anyway.  The strange prickliness of his skin was back, tightening his muscles, as he stared at the socks instead of Wanda’s devious face.  He, along with everyone else, knew Steve sometimes wore the socks “because they’re comfortable.”  Vision felt that wasn’t an adequate reason for wearing the horrid socks, but he was never going to tell anyone, especially Steve, that.  He’d learned that humans sacrificed comfort for beauty in social settings, and they sacrificed style for comfort when they were alone.  Vision was glad he never had to do either, as he could make his clothes as comfortable as he liked while they still looked fancy. 

"Yup.  Science, Vis.  What if your molecules behave differently than the actual socks and create a different amount of friction?  You’ve never tried replicating something like these before.  And besides, we already did the worst part of this - entering Steve's room without his explicit permission." If it was possible, Wanda’s smirk became even more wicked, and Vision knew that expression.  He wondered what about it that made his systems come to a grinding halt (he kept files on all the smiles she gave him and what they meant, and this particular smile, in the top three of the “smiles that’d make him do pretty much anything for Wanda” category, meant trouble), though an easy answer was that he had a soft spot for Wanda when she did almost anything.  It didn’t matter that what she said wasn’t exactly right or that she was asking him to put on those absurd socks – all that mattered was she smiled and he couldn’t dream of saying no to that smile, and because he wouldn’t exactly have to look at the socks if he was wearing them.

Perhaps now he’d learn why Steve wore the horrid things.

“I doubt that, if I could not copy them correctly, it would significantly change the amount of friction between myself and the floor,” Vision said, though he did not refuse the socks when Wanda exasperatedly shoved them his way. Completely and utterly defeated, he carefully sat on the ground next to Wanda, crediting all of the reluctance he felt to having to put on the socks rather than having to finally let go of her hand.  He couldn’t help the frown on his face as he unrolled them and pulled them on his feet, barely resisting the need to voice his displeasure with them again.  There was one redeeming factor about the socks, though – they weren’t too terribly small for him.  Wanda had chosen Steve’s socks to borrow since Steve was the tallest Avenger, besides Vision, and was the most likely to have a similar foot length to him.  Or so she’d claimed.  Vision knew most of her reasoning had to come from the bright blue socks currently sitting innocently on his feet.  A curious sort of heat was pooling in his neck and face as he stared at them, pout deepening at how they clashed with his deep red skin.

Vision’s attention snapped up from his feet when he heard muffled snickers.  Wanda turned her face away from him, but her giggling, hidden being the sleeve of her sweater, didn’t stop.  Vision’s head tilted to the side ever so slightly, assessing the sweater.  It was navy blue and had previously been his. Pepper had ordered him about a week’s worth of clothes before she’d known he wouldn’t need any, but he did end up being grateful for them since having the physical copies allowed him to duplicate their texture.  Recently, after Wanda had realized he wasn’t wearing them, she’d asked if she could have the sweaters.  There was no logical reason to deny her, but Vision also couldn’t deduce why she’d want them.  Wanda’s smaller frame was completely drowned in the sweaters, and the sleeves ran far past her fingertips.  He’d searched the Internet for answers, but it just led him down paths he knew had to be false (he was not her boyfriend and she couldn’t possibly want him as her boyfriend - and he’d never worn them so, if he did have a particular scent, it wouldn’t be on the sweaters).  Because of the romantic connotations, Vision hadn’t dared ask the other Avengers for a possible explanation, because he didn’t want them getting the wrong idea or to embarrass Wanda if they questioned her about it.  He knew he could just ask her, but… seeing her in them and knowing he was the only one she let see her in them…

Vision clenched his hands into fists on the ground.  The heat in his neck was building.  He needed a distraction to stop overheating.  His gaze returned to the vile socks that felt very strange on his feet.  Vision had worn physical clothing before, but he’d never worn socks, let alone the fuzzy kind.  The fabric was indeed quite soft, but he was still unconvinced the softness was worth the ugliness.  Experimentally, he wiggled his toes, still trying to pin down why Steve willingly admitted to liking them.

By his side, Wanda almost choked on her sleeve.  She’d started peering over at Vision as soon as she felt his heavy gaze, and seeing him wiggle his toes was surprising to her. He’d been taking things in stride, as usual, but the socks had been the one thing he’d nearly put his foot down on. Wanda knew he thought they were atrocious.  His disgust at them rolled off of him in waves whenever he set eyes upon them. She bit her lower lip, a familiar, pleasant ache building in her chest because she knew he was only wearing them for her.  She couldn’t believe he’d agreed to her plan – all parts of her plan.  Wanda supposed it was only because they were alone, but she wasn’t complaining.  She knew a Vision the others only got glimpses of. If the others could see him like he normally was with her, they’d understand him better, but she was selfishly glad he was taking much longer to warm up to the others.  It was nice having him to herself.

Taking a deep breath, Wanda calmed herself, willing to risk looking back at Vision to continue their plans.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to contain her laughter again if he was still wiggling his toes, but Vision was, thankfully, just pouting adorably at the socks. She concentrated on his eyes, trying to catch the way his irises rotated and how quickly they were going.  Wanda didn’t want to make him do anything he didn’t want to do, and he wasn’t likely to tell her he was truly upset without some prodding.  So she’d learned how to ascertain the minute differences in the way he expressed himself (and having an excuse to stare intently at his face was always a plus, she wasn’t scared to admit that to herself).  The corners of his mouth twitched when he was overflowing with some emotion he was trying to hide, and his irises went counterclockwise when he was upset.  Since neither was happening, Wanda rotated her body to face him fully again, flicking one of his bare knees.

“Stop moping.  I’ll join you in the bad fashion, okay?” Though she made sure her voice was whiny, Wanda wasn’t really upset.  She didn’t see why Vision disliked the socks because she thought they were fun – stupid, yes, but fun.  When Vision looked up, a gentle smile replacing his pout, Wanda had to look away before her face could start heating up.  There was something about the way his face softened from the hard lines surrounded it and the way the skin around his eyes crinkled that made her heart skip a beat.  In order to distract herself, Wanda forcibly made herself concentrate on the socks, sticking her hand back into the open drawer to find them.  There were only three remaining pairs since Natasha had started a prank war with Clint with the Hawkeye socks.  So far, Clint hadn’t been able to find where Natasha had stashed them away, and he was determined to find them before they fell out during a mission, which had happened when Natasha started the war without telling Clint.  Sam and Natasha had made fun of him, relentlessly, for days until Natasha found the socks in her own gear bag during a mission.

Feeling the little additions to the socks, Wanda easily found the Thor ones.  The Hawkeye pair would’ve been her first pick, but as they were unavailable, she’d settle for Thor because there was no way in hell she was going to wear the Iron Man socks (and the Hulk ones just felt… wrong, all things considered).  The Thor socks came with little buttons down the front, reflecting Thor’s odd armor, and had not only little white wings on the top but a mini flowing cape as well. Wanda thought they were cute, but the cape did make her wonder which pair of socks Vision would like better since he liked capes.

“Cape or wings, Vis?  You pick since I’m making you do this,” Wanda asked as she closed the drawer and held the socks up between them.  If Vision chose the Thor socks, she’d be a bit disappointed since the Captain America ones clashed so horribly with his skin, but she also wasn’t going to refuse him if he wanted to swap.  Wanda narrowed her eyes when one side of Vision’s mouth curled upwards, irises rotating quickly.  She knew that face, even though it was the second rarest expression he wore since he seldom let himself be a little shit.  It made her feel better, though, because now Wanda knew, for sure, that Vision would enjoy himself, even just a tiny bit.  It was also nice to see since he always denied his humanity, but it was an expression he’d come up with on his own without mimicking any other Avenger. One day, Wanda hoped he’d finally see and agree he was human enough.  Until then, though, she was satisfied knowing he was comfortable around her and allowed her to see him develop.  It was always the little things like these that made heat bloom in her chest that kept her warm for days.

“I prefer golden capes to red ones.  I am perfectly fine with these socks.”

Scoffing and rolling her eyes, Wanda removed one of the socks she’d already been wearing, chucking it at Vision’s face.  He caught it deftly, laughter bubbling up through his body. Wanda puffed up her cheeks petulantly, wishing Vision had slightly worse reflexes.  It would’ve been nice to see him get nailed in the nose and try to shake it off, but she had gotten him to actually laugh (another testament to the feelings he denied but Wanda had buckets of proof for).

“I think you just don’t want to wear the little buttons on the front. He has silly armor,” Wanda huffed, shaking one of the Thor socks in Vision’s face.  He batted it away, chuckling; Wanda bit her lip as she smiled back, acutely aware of how her face was heating up.  Perhaps if they were normal young adults living normal lives, probably in a college dorm goofing off because they had no immediate deadlines, she’d kiss him. Maybe it’d be a peck, just to relieve her burning affection for him threatening to boil over, or maybe it’d turn into something a little more.

But they weren’t normal young adults.  They weren’t college students messing around before they did something stupid.  They were Avengers, and, on top of that, they’d never be normal, either.   Vision was a synthetic human, and Wanda was an enhanced person.  It was dumb to even think about “what ifs” because they were literally impossible.

Shaking her head to physically rid herself of asinine daydreams, Wanda quickly pulled off her remaining sock and tossed it at Vision with less animation than before.  He caught it as she pulled on the Thor socks that were far too large for her feet. The heels poked out awkwardly behind her Achilles tendons, and they traveled farther up her calf than crew socks were supposed to go.  Wanda pretended to try and rearrange the socks for a better fit, face burning but shoulders heavy, while she really just took surreptitious glances at Vision as he rolled her socks into a pair with too much precision.  Perhaps it was the clothes she’d gotten him to wear that had spurned her stupid what-ifs that pulled at her darker thoughts (because if she was normal, then Pietro would be alive, as would her parents… but then again, she would’ve never met Vision, and though Pietro’s death still stabbed at her like a red hot knife – or, more accurately, searing bullet holes mincing her torso and arms – she felt more alive with the Avengers than she had since before those missiles fell on her home in Sokovia when they were ten). Wanda wanted to reach over and tug at the slightly unkempt sleeve of his white t-shirt.  It was odd enough seeing him in a t-shirt and the same loose, athletic shorts she was wearing, but some normalcy could be returned if he kept his clothes unwrinkled.  It wasn’t a bad look for Vision, just a complete 180 from his normal outfit of pressed sweaters and slacks.  Wanda could see more of his skin than she’d seen since he’d burst out of the cradle, and she found herself holding back the urge to run her fingers along the vibranium that ran smoothly with his musculature.

“You do not need to hesitate, Wanda.  You are not forcing me to do anything I do not wish to do.”

Vision’s voice tore Wanda’s attention away from his forearms. She looked sharply at his face, wanting to laugh.  He was sometimes insanely good at reading her mood, but most of the time, he blundered around awkwardly while trying to reassure her.  It was another one of his many endearing traits.

“Whatever you say, you big dummy,” Wanda said, rolling her eyes in good humor.  She stood up, nonchalantly adding, “I still can’t believe you tried getting out of the socks but didn’t care about the other clothes.” She knew his aversion to showing off his body, one of the few negative things he’d developed on his own. His insecurity stemmed from his differentness, the vibranium and red skin with a texture only he could tell differed from normal humans’ (though that probably made it worse than if everyone else could also tell), and he’d adopted a style to cover up as much skin as he possibly could.  Wanda knew he sometimes even avoided reflective surfaces on his bad days (which he, of course, denied to having, but Wanda made sure to play as many games of chess, Shogi, and other strategy games he liked best on those days).  When Vision didn’t stand, Wanda nudged his knee with her shin, noticing how he’d placed her rolled up socks on the floor beside his thigh.  Instead of responding, he looked down at his attire, using one hand to tug at the end of his t-shirt and the other to gently skim to lower edges of his black and white shorts.  She couldn’t see anything but the top of his shiny bald head, but Wanda could feel that his pout had returned based off of the turbulent emotions twisting off of him. His mind started leaping chaotically from one thought to another as he went through logical simulations, but she didn’t try to enter it, instead waiting for him to come to his own conclusions to tell her.  It was uncommon for Vision to be unable to come out of his thought spirals on his own, and she hoped she hadn’t unintentionally caused it to happen.

Finally, after two minutes passed that felt like hours, Vision looked up at her, brows scrunched together over his eyes like how his lips puckered. His irises were rotating in intervals, switching between quick and slow speeds, and Wanda felt a chill spreading down her back.  She knew she had to diffuse the mood he was about to start drowning in.

“I do not understand.  I thought you said this type of attire was required for this ritual?” Wanda looked at a spot right over his left shoulder to avoid his unintentional sad puppy eyes. How could she stop him from dropping into his funk?  Mentally, she berated herself, because she had brought it up without even thinking.

“It is, I promise.  You just don’t normally… It was dumb to say.  I’m sorry, Vis.” Wanda hoped her backtracking would work, but she knew it was a long shot.  Vision was almost as stubborn as her sometimes because he didn’t like letting go of some topics once they were introduced.

“I do not…” Vision paused, expelling a soft sigh through his nostrils. Wanda glanced at his face and winced upon seeing the corners of his mouth twitch.  She immediately crouched down in front of him, shoulders sagging under an invisible weight.

“I am different.” He gestured helplessly at his body in general, not meeting Wanda’s gaze.

“You have not treated me differently, for which I am grateful, but—“

“Vis.  Look at me,” Wanda interrupted him, not wanting him to complete his sentence. She frowned when Vision only glanced at her for a few seconds before looking away again.

“I apologize, Wanda, we should—“

“Vision, stop,” Wanda interrupted him again, reaching out as she spoke to grab his face in both of her hands to force him to look at her. His irises stopped turning counterclockwise for a second when he met her gaze.  Vision gripped her wrists, probably to remove her hands form his face, but Wanda locked her joints to keep her arms in place.

“You’re not ‘different.’  You’re just like the rest of us.  Skin color, hair color, prosthetic limbs, artificial organs – none of it matters.  Bodies do not matter, Vision.  They should not.  How people live – theirs souls, that’s what matters.  And you have a wonderful soul, Vis – the most wonderful one I’ve ever seen.  You are worthy, okay?  Even Mjuh… Mo… Thor’s hammer—”

“—Mjölnir—”

“—Yes, that, agrees.  Natasha told me that none of them could lift it the night Ultron was born.”  Vision blinked slowly at Wanda, and she was honestly stumped on if he took her words to heart or not.  His face was blank, but his irises were rotating clockwise again, which was something.  When he tilted his head to lean his face more firmly into her left palm, Wanda knew the storm had subsided.  She brushed her thumbs over his high cheekbones, wiping away his invisible tears, before teasingly pinching his cheek.  Vision winced, flinching out of her grasp even though she hadn’t physically hurt him.

“People are dumb.  Ignore them and then tell me so I can kick their asses.  You look good.  You arms and legs look fine, Vis.  And if you want a hug, you’ll get one,” Wanda said as she stood up, shaking out her legs. She didn’t take her gaze off of Vision’s face, though.  It was still blank, but there was something about his eyes that she couldn’t place. It was happening a lot more frequently as of late, and she was determined to figure out what it meant. His spinning irises slowed to a barely discernable crawl, and his pupils constricted.  The look always made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, but not in a threatened sort of way.  If he didn’t have a perfect memory, Wanda would hazard a guess that he was memorizing the moment (or, as her traitorous heart thumped, memorizing her).  Instead of trying to reflect on his newly developing behavior, Wanda just held her arms out, raising an eyebrow at him.  Vision blinked once, and his eyes were back to normal.  A gentle smile graced his lips as he stood up, leaning into her open arms.  His arms were feather-light around her, but Wanda made sure to squeeze his torso with all the strength she possessed.  He generally avoided her touch if he was feeling down, so it was nice he wanted a hug. It made Wanda hope that he felt as rejuvenated as she did after hugging him.  Even though he never fully squeezed back, it felt nice pressing her cheek to his chest, hearing his heart beat, and being encircled by his warmth.

A relaxed silence fell around them until Vision tapped Wanda’s shoulder, his silent signal to tell her he’d had enough.  Still feeling a bit guilty, she gave him an extra squeeze before letting him go, eliciting a chuckle from him.

“You are very good at… this,” Vision mused softly, gently gesturing his hand between them.  Wanda caught it, intertwining their fingers again; she almost missed when his lips twitched upwards at the corners.  She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from beaming as her heart thrummed desperately in her chest.

“Not really – just with people I know.  Clint is actually much better than I am even though he can’t read minds,” she said nonchalantly, leading Vision out of Steve’s room.

“Perhaps it is because he is just more experienced?  He is older than you, and he has children,” Vision offered, squeezing her hand.  Wanda shrugged, not too concerned with it.  She wasn’t exactly a people person, unlike Pietro.  She’d definitely help people in need, but she’d never been good at conversing and making friends with them.  Pietro had been the charmer between them, always able to talk to someone even if he didn’t necessarily like them.  Wanda absentmindedly entered the lock code to the panel to her room, which was right across the hall from Steve’s, trying to imagine how Pietro would have adjusted to life with the Avengers.  He would’ve had an easier time talking and maintaining conversations, but he was still as guarded as Wanda was with his affection.  Wanda doubted he would’ve been on any better terms with any of the others than she currently was; though, she also doubted he’d be on the same level as she was with Vision.

“Are doors an inconvenience to you?” Wanda asked without turning to face Vision when her door eased open.  She needed a distraction from thinking about Pietro, and Vision’s aversion to using doors was an easy topic to latch on to as she pulled him through the doorway to her room.

“Since I can phase through walls, yes, though I am trying to use them more as per your teaching,” he replied, and Wanda felt the slight pull of his arm on hers when he shrugged.  She rolled her eyes, tugging his arm teasingly.

“You say that as if it is a bad thing when it is just how most people need to move around buildings, Vis.  I think I’d be just as inconvenienced as you are, though, if I could walk through walls,” Wanda mused, glancing over her shoulder at him.  She hoped she’d phrased her thoughts properly to not accidentally push his buttons again.  Twice in less than ten minutes would be a first (excluding a time Tony was over since Tony liked using nicknames that he knew grated on people’s nerves when he was in a bad mood). Vision just wrinkled his nose at her, making Wanda laugh.  She had to let go of his hand when she walked over to her desk, rummaging around in her chaotic drawer to find two rolls of electrical tape.  Vision was still behind her, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of his body but far enough away that she couldn’t accidentally jab him in the ribs with her elbow (which would end up hurting her instead of him, ironically).

“The goal with the tape is to mark our progress, since we’re doing science.  We’re going to run down the hallway outside to build up speed to slide on the kitchen floor.  Mark where you stop with the tape.  You get blue to match your socks, Vis,” Wanda explained, snickering.  She heard, and felt, him breathe through his nose in an almost-snort (since he was too polite to actually snort), making her snicker more until she finally found the rolls of tape.  She’d borrowed them from one of Tony’s labs earlier in the week, and she had never gotten the motivation to return them.

“And what is the purpose of this clothing?  If it was to reduce air resistance, which there will not be enough to make a discernable difference for sliding on the floor with socks, you would not be wearing that sweater.” He used his free hand to ghost his fingers along her shoulder, following the seam that held the arm to the body of the sweater, and Wanda wanted to lean into his hand.  Vision rarely initiated physical contact with her (or anyone, really), so it was tempting for her to prolong his light touch.  Instead of focusing on him, though, she pulled up the happy memory that had been the catalyst for her asking him if he wanted to slide in the kitchen in fluffy socks. 

“It’s just…,” her voice trailed off, fingers tightening around his momentarily as she tried to remember the correct word in English, “It is something my father started. We always did it in our sleeping clothes, and we always had a competition of who could slide the farthest every other week.” Heat blossomed in her chest, overwhelming her to well up in her eyes, as she thought about her family.  There was no pain accompanying the mental image of her father, clad in an undershirt and boxers, showing her and Pietro how to slide around on the floor; there was only a soothing warmth that had a bittersweet twinge.  Pietro had always been faster than her, even when they were five and the sock slide tournaments started, beginning his reign of fearless leader of the two of them.  He’d always assured her no harm would come to her, that he wouldn’t let it, and Wanda had always tried to remind him to think of himself sometimes. All the signs of his arrogant but caring personality had been there from the very beginning as he’d bragged about being stronger but purposefully let Wanda win most of the sock slide competitions (the times he didn’t were the few times he was upset with her for some reason or another).  

[yunhycran-blog]

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok. 

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her  )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!