#which is just awesome (note the sarcasm)

[mil0000]

just a quick little destiel sketch :)

[smidge-j]

I thought I had moved on but then someone liked an old post I made about the thing so I saw the post in my notifs again. And as it turns out, I have not fucking moved on

[wvyik]

signed, sealed, seduced. d.w. ⋆˚࿔

dean winchester x fem! reader

ᰔ summary: she’s high-maintenance, deadly, and doesn’t take shit from anyone; especially not from dean. but when their worlds collide, the hunt becomes personal… and a whole lot more complicated.

⤿ warnings: mdni!! explicit content, (i couldn’t help myself) tons of sexual tension, mild explicit content, cursing, dirty jokes, fluff + filth combo, (because why settle for one?), some light violence, a sprinkle of possessiveness, lots of playful banter, reader is so bela talbot coded, frenemies to lovers.

⤿ notes: thank you anon for the request!! im happy to oblige, such an awesome idea btw >ᴗ< think mr. & mrs. smith meets supernatural with just a pinch of unholy sexual frustration.

The first time you ever met Dean Winchester, he tried to shoot you.

In his defense, you had just scammed a warlock out of a cursed amulet that he’d been trying to track for three weeks. In your defense? He was being a little bitch about it.

“You stole it,” he’d growled, all puffed chest and righteous fury.

You’d just smiled, blood-red lipstick flawless, one perfectly arched brow lifting. “I acquired it. Stole is such a blue-collar word.”

He hated you instantly.

They say hate is just the other side of passion. Dean’s starting to believe it. Every time you roll your eyes, every time you sass him, every time you bend over in that tight little pencil skirt that definitely wasn’t accidental— he gets closer to just snapping and pinning you to a wall.

And you know it.

You flirt like it’s war. Batting your lashes just to watch him sweat. Dropping dirty little one-liners that leave him choking on air.

“So serious, Dean. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying not to get hard.”

He whips his head toward you. “Jesus Christ.”

“Oh relax,” you hum, leaning your head back against the seat. “I’m not gonna jump you. You’re not my type.”

He scoffs. “Good.”

You glance at him from the corner of your eye. “I like men who at least pretend they don’t want me. It’s more fun when they break.”

You’re a ghost in the hunter world. No last name. No phone number. Just rumors and red lipstick. You’ve sold hex bags to demons and then double-crossed them for hunters. You flirted your way through vampire nests and stole angel blades from under Heaven’s nose. Nobody knows whose side you’re really on.

That’s your whole thing.

Dean hates that it turns him on.

The job takes you to Louisiana. Swamps, heat, and the kind of cursed object no sane hunter touches without gloves, prayers, and a last will and testament.

It’s an old Creole relic. An amulet that traps souls in a loop of violent death. You’ve seen it before. Once. You didn’t walk away clean.

Dean doesn’t ask about it.

You don’t offer.

Instead, you two ride down in the Impala, sniping at each other the whole way. He complains about your luggage (“We’re not staying at the goddamn Ritz!”) and you call his music “sad divorced dad anthems.”

But underneath the sarcasm, something’s shifting. You catch him looking at you longer. Laughing under his breath at your jokes. And when you fall asleep in the car, head resting against the window, he doesn’t say anything. Just glances at you, once, and turns the music down.

The house is cursed, because of course it is. Two people already dead, one missing, and a sulfur trail leading straight to the basement.

You go in first. Dean protests, obviously.

“You’re not bulletproof, you know.”

You glance over your shoulder, smirking. “Neither are you. But I look better while risking my life.”

He doesn’t argue.

Not out loud, anyway.

Inside, the air is heavy. Thick with bad energy. The kind that sticks to your skin. Dean’s right behind you, flashlight sweeping, gun drawn. You’re holding a small dagger you stole got from a Haitian priest once. Dean always makes fun of it— until it saves both your lives.

Which it does.

Twice.

“You okay?” he breathes after the second time, chest heaving.

You glance at your bleeding shoulder and shrug. “Ruined another blouse. Guess you’ll have to buy me a new one.”

He glares at you, then rips part of his flannel and presses it to the wound. “Stop joking.”

You blink. His hands are warm. His voice is serious. “You could’ve died,” he mutters.

You smile, softer now. “So could you.”

His eyes flick up to meet yours. And for once, there’s no banter. No sarcasm.

Just that look.

That goddamn look.

The one you’ve seen flicker in motel rooms and over diner coffee, in the lull between hunts. The one he always hides before it can mean anything.

This time, he doesn’t hide it.

He brushes your hair back, careful of the blood. And you let him.

You defeat the cursed object together; barely. It shatters in a flash of flame and screams, and when it’s over, you’re both on the floor, breathless, singed, bleeding.

You laugh.

Dean groans.

“You’re the worst,” he says.

“I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”

He opens his mouth to argue, but stops. Because he’s realizing you might be right.

Next thing you know, the air in the motel room is heavy. You’ve both cleaned up—sort of. You’re in a silk robe now, blood rinsed from your skin but not from your memory. Dean’s wearing an old band tee with a rip near the collar and sweatpants, barefoot, jaw still clenched. He hasn’t looked at you since the kiss.

You don’t know if that’s a good sign.

You sit across from him at the little table between the beds, picking at your nail polish, pretending you’re not waiting for him to say something. Anything.

“You could’ve died today,” he finally mutters.

“You already said that.”

He looks up, eyes sharp. “You didn’t react the first time either.”

You shrug. “I didn’t feel like getting all misty-eyed about it while covered in ghost goo.”

Dean leans forward, elbows on the table, and you swear— his gaze softens. Just for a second.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Your stomach flips. Violently.

And now you’re just… staring at him. He’s not looking away. He’s not covering it with sarcasm or barking an insult or making some gruff joke about how everyone dies in this line of work, sweetheart. He’s just sitting there, looking at you like losing you would gut him.

You don’t do emotions. Not like this. Not in daylight. So you smirk, instead. “God, you’re being so clingy.”

Dean chuckles under his breath, but it’s not amused. It’s devastated.

“Don’t,” he says. “Don’t do that thing where you pretend this doesn’t matter.”

You open your mouth to toss something clever back, but nothing comes. Because it does matter. And you both know it.

So instead, you get up.

Walk over.

Slide into his lap like it’s nothing.

But it’s everything.

His hands automatically grip your hips. His breath catches.

And you whisper, “I don’t want to lose you either.”

It’s the softest he’s ever seen you. And he looks at you like he’s memorizing it — like this might be the only time he gets to see you with your guard down.

Then he presses his forehead to yours. You sit there for a long time, just breathing each other in. Not kissing. Not speaking. Just holding.

The line between friends and lovers? It’s already blurred. Hell, it’s obliterated.

You slide your hand up the back of his neck. His breath hitches. Your fingers tangle in his hair.

“I’m not gonna run anymore,” you whisper. “So stop looking at me like I’m gonna disappear.”

Dean exhales shakily.

And then he kisses you.

Hard.

Like he’s drowning and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat. His hands grip your waist like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers. You sink into him like he’s home.

It’s not neat. It’s not soft.

It’s messy.

Years of denial crash in one second— teeth, tongues, groans swallowed into skin. You push him back further against the mattress and climb over him, still straddling his lap, your hands yanking at his shirt like you’ve waited lifetimes to touch him without consequence.

Dean flips you, presses you into the mattress, mouth hot on your neck.

“Should’ve done this the second I met you,” he mutters into your skin, voice wrecked.

“You were too busy pretending I annoyed you.”

“You did annoy me.” He grins against your collarbone. “Still do.”

You moan when his hands slide under your robe. “Shut up and take it off.”

Dean’s hands are on you; rough, urgent. His fingers digging into your waist, your body pressed flush against his. His breath is ragged, hot on your neck. You’re both trembling, not from the cold but from something deeper, more raw.

You gasp as his lips meet yours again, his mouth is hard against yours, like he’s trying to consume you. And you’re not exactly pulling away either.

Your hands are on his chest, pushing his shirt off, nails scraping against his skin, making him groan low and deep in his throat.

“You sure about this?” he growls, his hands sliding up your thighs, his grip firm and possessive. His lips move down your neck, kissing and biting, and you can’t stop the shiver that races through you.

“I’ve been sure since the first time I laid eyes on you, Winchester,” you breathe out, your voice shaky but bold. The words feel like they’ve been building up for months, desperate to spill out.

Dean’s hands slide lower, just shy of where you need him. “Yeah? Then why’d you keep running from me?”

You’re not sure if it’s the heat, the pressure, or the way he looks at you with that fire in his eyes, but you snap, your patience snapping like a rubber band. You rip his belt off, hands shaking but determined.

“Don’t pretend you don’t want this too,” you snap, before kissing him hard again, all teeth and tongue, pushing your body against his, aligning the two of you in one swift motion.

Dean’s breath hitches in his throat, a low growl escaping his lips as he finally lets you have control. His hands are on your hips, guiding you, the pressure between your legs sending an electrifying jolt through your entire body.

The world outside the room disappears. There’s nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing, the slick slide of skin on skin, and the rhythm you’re both setting— raw, frantic, desperate.

His voice breaks as he pulls you closer, his lips pressing against your ear. “God, you feel so good, baby. So fucking good.”

You don’t hold back. The tension, the need, it’s been bubbling beneath the surface, and now, it’s exploding. You move against him, your body finding its rhythm with his, chasing that overwhelming heat, that burn that has nothing to do with the hunt, with monsters. It’s just the two of you now, tangled in sheets, no masks, no pretenses.

Dean groans as you shift, his hands gripping your hips tighter. “Fuck,” he mutters. “Should’ve had you like this from the start.”

You smile, teeth grazing his jawline as you pull back just enough to look him in the eye, your breath uneven. “Took you long enough to catch up.”

“You feel so good,” he mutters between kisses. “Damn, you feel better than I imagined.” His voice is low, strained, the heat in his tone like fire. “Always knew this was gonna happen… didn’t realize it’d be this fucking good.”

Your movements become faster, rougher, and Dean matches you, his hands gripping your hips harder as he takes control of the rhythm. The sounds of skin slapping against skin, the soft, breathy moans you both can’t hold back, fill the room. And you can feel his eyes on you, burning with an intensity that sends a wild thrill straight through your core.

His name is a whisper on your lips as you both fall into it. That final, explosive moment when you can’t tell where you begin and he ends. It’s pure, intense, all-consuming.

And when you both finally collapse into the bed, gasping for air, sweaty and wrecked, there’s no question.

You’re not just two people sharing a night anymore.

You’re tangled up in something deeper.

Something that’s not going to fade in the morning.

After, you’re tangled in the sheets, your head on his chest, his hand lazily tracing patterns across your bare back.

“You’re mine now, huh?” he murmurs, voice all husky and smug and soft.

You hum. “I was starting to think you’d never ask...”

Dean kisses the top of your head. “We’re really doing this?”

You look up at him. “Yeah. We are.”

Dean’s face breaks into a grin, clearly amused, but his eyes flicker with that intense, familiar heat. “You sure you’re ready for all this, sweetheart?” He motions to himself dramatically. “I’m a lot.”

You pause, staring at him, before letting out a mock gasp. “Oh no. Does that mean I’m gonna have to be the one saving you next time?”

Dean laughs, the sound rich and full of life. “Baby, the only thing you’ll be saving is my dignity— if there’s any left after last night.. And maybe if you get lucky a few monsters along the way.”

“Oh, right. I forgot.” You give him a wink, running your fingers through his hair. “Guess I’ll just have to keep you out of trouble, huh?”

Dean leans in, catching your lips in a kiss that’s lighter than before but still packed with that unmistakable Dean Winchester intensity. “You’re my trouble now, sweetheart.”

And for the first time, it feels like everything’s exactly as it should be.

taglist; @lieutenantchaos @bejeweledinterludes @ambiguous-avery @mostlymarvelgirl @freeluigihesbae @brutuuallove @impala67rollingthroughtown @multiversefanfics @littlesoulshine @starzify @ladykitana90 @idontwannabehere78 @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @pieandflannel @twelveyearsofit @tinas111 @riteofpassage77 ⊹ ࣪ ˖

⤿ wanna be tagged in my fics?.. don't be shy! @ taglist.

tysm for reading! more works incoming @ library. ⊹₊⟡

[jjwolves]

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ KISS MY SUPER BOWL RING

What: 5 Headcanons of Moony X Reader

Who: Moony from ENA by Joel G

How Much: ~700 words, ~3 mins

Credits: Image Banner -> Joel G, Divider -> @enchanthings-a

Warnings: None

(Psst! Green is reader!)

Dating Moony is weird. I mean, besides being a floating moon (head?) and existing inside of a digital wonderland where pixels collapse in on themselves when you aren’t looking at them. It’s weird in something approximating humanity. Moony wouldn’t be caught dead saying that she loves you. She doesn’t even admit that you two are dating at first. “Don’t get weird on me,” is what she says when you give her affection or try to get any from her. That is, until you don’t want to go to that mall in the sky surrounded by an ominous green tornado, at which point Moony tilts, and, in a tone which is somewhere between apathetic and sincere, says, “Aren’t you literally my love-satellite? Get serious.” She squints. “It’s you and me against the city. Then the world, obviously, but we gotta start somewhere.”

Moony prefers to let her actions do all the talking in her relationships, but oddly, in this case, it’s the opposite. You will know exactly where you stand with Moony based on what she doesn’t do. She often resorts to sarcasm and flippancy not long into an interaction with any other entity, but not you. For whatever reason, her fuse is a lot longer than normal when it comes to you. When you’re doing something stupid and you’d expect Moony to huff and call you out on your lapse in sanity, she passively vouches for your madness instead. Onlookers greeting you with a raised eyebrow are hit with a defensive “What?” Later on, she’ll tell you, “They’re all weirdos anyways. And mega-haters. Don’t you dare start caring about opinions from people like that; you’ll thank me later.”

Moony starts carrying things in her eye-space for you. Of course, she tries to deny this. “Whaaat? Churros? In my crater? So what?! Celestial bodies gotta eat!” They don’t. The churros taste delicious, even though they're green. “Well, I guess you might as well take this awesome rock I found. It’s been weighing me down all day.” It was secretly a gift. “Yeah, someone deposited their sword here. Not mine. I can’t even use it. You may as well take it. I’m basically a lost-and-found bin now.” She just wanted to see what you look like with a sword. You carefully extract the blade and hold it up in the air to inspect it. The light dramatically falls on your back and glares off the weapon. “Whoa. Sick, dude,” she mutters. “I knew it.”

You start understanding Moony’s weird jokes. Once, when you were near a haughty sea monster trying to squeak notes out of some sort of ancient brass instrument, Moony joked, “It sounds like you can tuna fish, but you can’t force him to take music lessons, am I right?” and you got it. You laughed. It was at something only approximating the vague rhythms of comedy and nothing more, but she had endeared you so that you found it funny anyway. Her eye widened. “Oh! You like that! Well, uh, I’ve got more, obviously! Keep laughing!” She begins trying to crack jokes at an unprecedented rate, each one degrading in coherence until she’s essentially spouting color and movement. “Dog hat cow bell mouse rat. Or am I crazy?” “Okay, that’s a tad bit too far. Go back.” “What? You love it. Right?” “I do. But you need to go back to your old jokes for both of us. We’ll be laughing at white noise if we go any further.”

You find that Moony, despite her apathetic facade, really enjoys putting on a show for you and getting you to laugh. Her inner court jester energy tends to manifest in her exquisite corpse-tier jokes, of course, but this side of her hijacks the train when you two watch a movie or TV show together. Expect her to loudly commentate and dub over every scene in an embarrassingly sincere attempt to be funny, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style, but badly. “What are those two blob guys doing standing around? Why are they dressed the same? ‘Aaah, my doppelganger, get him!’ Dead. Heh! I could write this stuff” You’re unable to focus on what’s happening on the TV and eventually give up, drifting to sleep, but it’s not a bad thing to fall asleep to. Not at all.

A/N: Does anyone else here listen to The Garden?

[angeldrawsstuffs]

I don’t like that Thunderfang betrayed the Forbidden Five, not like- in universe, but as a writing choice. On the whole I LOVED S3 P1, as always with new Ninjago content, but this specific choice just felt… lazy to me. Oh, wow, the big bad betrayed their subordinates the moment they were freed? Color me shocked, NO writer has EVER done THIS before. Sarcasm aside, ignoring how cliche it is, I feel like it also was a serious disservice to the Forbidden Five.

The episodes we got with them were, at least to me, not NEARLY enough time (for me at least) to get invested in them as villains or see them as any actual threat. Obviously they’re a threat in-universe, but to me they felt more like stock villains to impede the fetch quest for the heroes, which is a damn shame because what we got of Nokt and Rox last season (and also I absolutely loved Rox this season, ego-stroking and gloating to the heroes being a villain’s downfall is one of my FAVORITE tropes) I was intrigued by. I would’ve loved more episodes with them, especially with a new power up from Thunderfang. Their elements are really neat, so seeing them boosted and used in more creative and interesting ways would’ve been awesome, just make up some BS to shelf them for the ep10 finale so we can get the plot done.

Also, to me it muddied the “Arin’s parents are alive” reveal. I feel like most everyone saw it coming, but for me it felt less like a “I fucking KNEW IT-” moment (as I think it was supposed to be) and more a “well- no shit, Sherlock. In other news: water is wet.” moment. And I think it’s partially because we have two villain betrayals in rapid succession of each other. IMO it should’ve been one or the other, either Ras is lying about Arin’s parents or Thunderfang lied to the Forbidden Five, you can’t have both so close together (what was it like an episode or two apart?). And, for me, I’d rather have Thunderfang not betray the five.

Also, one last thing-

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE LEAKED EPISODES AND HAVE NO INTEREST IN LOOKING AT THEM OR KNOWING WHAT HAPPENS IN THEM. PLEASE DO NOT PUT ANYTHING PERTAINING TO THE EVENTS OF THE LEAKED EPISODES IN THE NOTES OF THIS POST. IF ANYTHING FROM THOSE EPISODES MAKES THIS CHOICE BETTER, DO NOT TELL ME, I DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. THANK YOU.

[jooillusion]

y’all im sorry i cant sleep rn bc the thought of this jooyeon x preppy reader 🫣

cw: smoking, mentions of making out, mentions of car sex, and me writing this w my eyelids half open 😻

college!au where jooyeon hangs around the goths and you hang around the rich preppies.

naturally, you’d be attracted to the guys with clean cuts, polos, and the ones that are good at golf. the ones who have the perfect smile and the ones that are always ready to marry.

you wished everything had happened naturally, where you’d be attracted to the guys with clean cuts, polos, and the ones that are good at golf. the ones who have the perfect smile and the ones that are always ready to marry.

but before you stands jooyeon, leaning against the wall of the secluded area that he just found out about now that you told him about it, the cigarette between his fingers intoxicating the air around the both of you. though you’re outside, the air feels stuffy and thick, especially since you just confessed your feelings for him.

he lets it linger, smiling as the three worded phrase replays through his head. you’re unable to look at him, only looking at your fresh shoes that you had bought earlier in the week just for this moment.

“you like me, ay?” he repeats, almost as if he’s mocking you. you’re hesitant to nod you head, a ton of bricks hitting you when you hear jooyeon snicker. “why did you bring me all the way over here just to say that?”

“i just…well…” your mind scrambles for an excuse other than not wanting to be seen by your group of friends that didn’t even know about your little crush. jooyeon taps his foot impatiently, raising an eyebrow along with the cigarette to his black stained lips, puffing in the smoke and blowing it towards your direction. you fan away the smoke, coughing once it hits your nostrils.

you hear jooyeon snort out half of another laugh. “i have rehearsals in a little bit. we could talk about this in my car later yeah?”

naively, you agree to meet him in his car. he hands you a note telling you which car and the lot he’s parked in, along with the message of don’t keep me waiting.

you watch him step on the cigarette and walk off.

you look around before opening the door to jooyeons car, settling in the passenger seat. you try to hide your grimace, the leather of his car seats a little bit torn off and ruined.

“excuse the mess, didn’t expect some preppy to be in my car at this time.” he leans back in his seat, looking over at you. you don’t even notice his sarcasm, way too scared to get comfortable. “so why do you like me again? i thought you had a boyfriend?”

“no i don’t. i just have some close guy friends. you’re just different.”

“different? how so?”

“i’ve just never seen anybody like you before. you sing really well, you play bass really well, your hair is awesome…” jooyeon lets you go on about everything you like about him, nodding his head, his smile growing wider with each praise.

at first he thought you were joking, only trying to hook up with him. he was prepared for the story he had for his friends about how he fucked one of the preppies. but the more you go on, the more jooyeon realizes how cute you were behind that polo and white skirt of yours. he didn’t wanna let you go just yet.

he notices you only looking down at his glovebox, shifting so that he’s sitting up. your mouth zips shut as if it’s on cue, turning your head to look out the window. jooyeon was having none of it, placing his hand on your shoulder to turn you towards him.

“cmon, you say you like me but you’re acting as if you’re scared of me.”

“im not i just…” you trail off, jooyeons hand moving to hold your chin. he strokes it, holding eye contact with you for what felt like an eternity. “i just recall liking you and-“

“do you wanna kiss me?”

you’re nearly choking on your spit at the question. you’re unable to answer, nodding your head and looking from his eyes to his black stained lips. he shakes his head.

“i didn’t hear you.” he spits sternly

you gulp, the faint yes that leaves your lips almost couldn’t be heard. jooyeon lets it slide, a satisfied smile etching onto his lips. he slowly pulls your face towards his, tilting his head.

“don’t worry angel, i don’t bite.” he whispers against your readied lips. “yet.”

YEAHHHH and after your first car encounter with jooyeon, you started meeting him in his car almost everyday after your classes had ended. you two didn’t tie the knot immediately after, but after one too many conversations that led to makeout sessions, you two were officially dating.

gotta mention as well he waited until you were fully ready to show him your body :,(. he confidently calls you beautiful before letting you bounce on his dick in the backseats of his car in the empty school parking lot. his painted fingernails left prints all over your ass, the black lipstick that adorned his lips also leaving marks wherever they touched, even getting on your shirt. afterwards, he’d cover you with his striped sweater and cuddles close to your tired body for however long you wanted, kissing you every now and then on the crown of your head.

your friends aren’t even mad that you’re dating jooyeon and neither were his friends. even though you two are completely opposite, you two fit together perfectly.

[helsensm]

I cannot hold it in anymore I am absolutely OBSESSED with your art and the way you draw Lao.

I also would like to inquire….. just perhaps… what are your top head-canons for him, and/or your opinions on popular ships for him/which ones you like?

No pressure!! I hope you are having a wonderful day 🧡

me, trying to act normal every time an awesome artist I look up to says something nice about my art

Thank you so much! first of all, please take this Lao with you, he's yours now~

now let me preheat my bad english.....

Most of my Lao headcanons (if they are not related to a particular art I made) were yoinked from another ppl, because DAMN FELLAS your brains are sexy. 😏 So you might have heard some of them already, but here's my top general hcs for him.

NOTE: we are talking about the current timeline mk1 Kung Lao

- Lao is very expressive with his hands and he's THE TOUCH person. Just look at how many times he took Raiden by the shoulder in the first chapter alone?? He'll be pushing, and patting, and shoving, and punching you all over while telling about his breakfast or something.

- Lao is struggling with inferiority complex. Since childhood he was under a tremendous amount of pressure, he has to do things right, to be better, or else he would be mocked or punished. Now he believes that he should be the best, or he would not be taken seriously. He's constantly seeking validation in his peers, causing him to act cocky and over-confident.

- Anger issues, usually when someone questions his skill.

- People call him lazy because he tries to act like everything comes naturally to him. In reality he trains hard and takes things seriously. Like, he's fighting with a RAZOR RIMMED HAT fgs, it's not something you can master in a day! Also he always got energy running through his veins, lucky bastard... *cries in iron deficiency*

- He makes his hats by himself. With his hands. He designs and creates. ALL of them. I will die on that hill.

- He's a slow to trust, but ride or die as a friend.

- He's a trouble maker FOR SURE, but not a bully. He's respectful and polite to most of the people (if they don't provoke him), also drinks his respect-women juice.

- Master of sass and sarcasm. And yes, I think he swears, but in the right circumstances or the right company.

- He's got rizz NOW, but in his teens he had zero game because he could not keep his mouth shut and would scare off the person with the most ridiculous piece of idiocy.

- I read it in one fic and really loved the idea that Liu Kang "told the blossoms" about Kung Lao, and they really liked him 🌸 so now they are following him around and bringing him news and gossips, that's why there's always those goddamn petals aroung him aasghGHHHj 🌸🌸

- He's rolling his eyes at Johnny, but they quickly become besties.

- He actually has a cold relationship with Liu Kang. Don't get me wrong, he trusts him, respects the hell out of him and will run into a wall for a man. But I think Liu will distance himself because of all the memories of HIS Lao and how badly they sting. oTL

- That smile and a bow Lao did after loosing to Raiden? He meant that. Loosing hurted BAD, but the pain was pushed aside by the sence of pride and happiness for his best friend.

oh shit, this is getting out of hand, I'm starting to think about the other timelines and dynamics, we'll be here all week hhhhgh

About the popular ships... Well, I'm a big fan of railao (yeah NO SHIT who would have thought), but I am a multishipper, so I'm just happy to see my fav characters feeling good in someone's hands. 😊

I really like the liulao and laoliutana for several different reasons. 👀 The johnshilao (or is it laojohnshi..? erm) was the one that didn't impress me at first (love the Lao just third-wheeling with a tired expression <:'D), but recently I'm starting to warm up to all the different dynamics these three can have. And that is, in no small part, thanks to you and your kenlao agenda 👀💖 damn you created such a nice cozy universe for them I'm 🥺💕💗💖

Bi-Han/Lao is a bit random, but I love how catto did them, they are such a cute pair of assholes! >:3

ummm, yeah, so I'm going to stop there ahahhH. Thank you again for asking and for all the nice little feels your art provides, I admire you tremendously~

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Something Only We Know

Felix Catton x Reader

A/N: BLURB for “soulmate.” which is gonna be a long-ass fic

Warnings: language, sexual allusions

WC: 1.1k

Xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

“So, where were we exactly?” You glanced, utterly bored, at your blind date. He had just returned from the loo after what felt like an hour — what he was doing there, taking shit or making out with a well-endowed waitress, you didn’t know. It’s not like you cared anyways; the guy was atrocious — self-centered with a plastered smile of a highly conceited person who thinks themselves better than anyone else. Every damn time you had started speaking about yourself, in answer to his superficial questions actually, he would suddenly butt in, completely ruining any remnants of a good opinion about himself in your eyes, and literally begin talking about himself. Out of the context. No exaggeration intended.

“Hey, listen, my friend called me up just a moment later. She said something about an emergency, like something happened in our dorm. Do you mind me taking a rain check?” You put on a fake smile of feigned sadness while gathering all your belongings already off the table as an indication of double urgency to your words.

“That’s alright. Carry on,” he said, “but only under the condition that you give me your number. I still have so many questions to ask you.”

While saying so, his gaze momentarily slipped to your bosom, and a smirk surfaced on his face.

Ugh. What. A. Fucking. Cocksure. Prick.

“Yeah, sure.” Your tone evidently exposed your chagrin, but the what’s-his-name was probably way to self-absorbed to even fucking notice. Without further ado, you gave him a fake number along with another fake smile before promptly ditching the place of horror. You made a mental note to never return there again.

You didn’t comprehend what the deal was with all the guys now on the dating apps. Every single time you decided to venture and meet up with someone, after having devoted a couple of evenings of getting acquainted with a person on the other side of the screen, they would always turn out to be the worst of the worst wankers. Was it a sign for you decamp the dating apps and hope that life would bring along someone worthy your attention? And time?

Were the dating apps simply for some lonesome 20-something pervs who opted just for a one-night-stand or alike, and nothing that would transcend beyond?

Or was it just your fault that you attracted these kinds of people? Maybe the core problem, in fact , was you?

As a situational irony would have it, so in a brown study you were, that your spatial orientation seemed to have failed you, for you bumped into someone. Hard. To the point where both of you —as if suddenly on two different sides of the magnetic field —collapsed on the ground, apart from each other, with the loud thuds.

You groaned and for a moment thought that life simply couldn’t get any better. Sarcasm widely intended. From what you could instantly feel, you were going to have a pretty nasty bruise on your left side of the hip. And your outfit was entirely ruined, with the tights ripped as though some ferocious animal clawed on it, and the rest of your attire was throughly covered in mud. Not to mention the embarrassment of facing the individual who you have knocked down with your absolute lack of attentiveness.

Fucking awesome.

“I’m so sorry,” said you and the person opposite you at the same time. Involuntarily, you scrunched your brows and looked from the ground at the trampled stranger. His gaze was already concentrated on you and he seemed to be bearing the same train of thought as you had — ‘what the heck are they apologizing for?’

Once you scrutinized the stranger’s countenance more closely, you decided that he was rather exquisite in the appearance. He had his brown doe eyes that spoke nothing but innocence; the jawline was so prominent and sharp that you were quite sure that he could cut paper with that shit; his lips were twisted in a soft smile which made him look purely angelic; a little brow piercing only added to his comeliness, instantly exposing that he wasn’t a type of a person you were going to be bored around with.

Also, once he stood up from the collision, he proved to be of an exceptional height which impressed you. The height difference between the two of you was speaking volumes, which was… hot.

He was hot.

Everything about him was hot.

The innominate stranger extended his hand as a silent offer for you to stand up. You willingly accepted the gesture, soon leveling up, and again fully standing on your feet, although now in a more blighted state than before.

You wanted to utter the statement of gratitude and so you lifted your eyesight to his face again. Conversely, he wasn’t looking at you now but rather transfixing on the two-star tattoo on your inward wrist and your still-joint palms. You didn’t understand his reaction, however he, as if inferring your train of thought, turned around his wrist so now the inward part was visible as well.

It took you a moment to realize what he meant — but when you finally did, the situation left you awestruck. He had the same, if not identical, tattoo engraved on the exact same spot you had. Even a little imperfections of the already-a-tad-faded tattoo could be traced.

No. The tattoos were definitely identical which was bizarre.

Instead of being wholly weirded-out by all of this, a strange sense of ecstasy overwhelmed you. You had never felt like this before, not even after a proper session of sex, as you stood there with a complete stranger with your fingers intertwined. The feelings that you seemed to bear in your chest were not only ecstasy but also… the abnormal calmness, as if nothing in the world could rupture your inner peace now.

The rangy stranger appeared to have the same feeling of unadulterated composure, for a grin spread across his face with a strange look of simultaneous disbelief and fascination in his eyes. The expression utterly mirrored yours.

For all and no time in the universe, you both stared at one another as the bolt of electricity passed through your bodies. Excited electricity. The kind of electricity which makes you contemplate your deeply-entrenched theism. The electricity which foreshadowed that something thrilling is bound to happen.

Or someone thrilling is bound to settle in your life for longer than planned.

[canonically47]

so... those boxers, huh?

(click for better image quality!)

oh my GOD you guys @burrotello's AU is SOOO good!!!!!! the TADC fandom just has the best artists, every AU i've seen is so creative and fun and this one is an exception because IT'S. EVEN. BETTER.

i cannot express how much i love her artstyle and how much expression she can convey through her art.. so i'll just link the boxer AU masterpost here and let you guys see for yourselves!

for now, let's talk about the elephant in the room: toby and diane! you already know toby if you know me and/or my involvement in the TADC fandom - my OC, very strongly based on agent 47. diane is a new face, though, because she was created with the intention of being toby's handler! (she's based off diana burnwood, obviously.)

the duo and a description of their relationship:

some design notes:

toby is 150 cm (which is his height in the TADC universe as well), while diane towers over him at 187 cm.

since toby is based off a rubber duck, which is meant to be a gag, i decided to incorporate that into his defense - it's meant to act as a way for the opponent to be unable to see him, since he's so small.

his homing briefcase is his ultimate attack. it's a good thing there's not any water in the boxing ring, or we'd be seeing players drop dead left and right!

also to bounce off toby's duck self, diane is a fox because, well, she's a sly fox! she's based off diana even more than toby is off agent 47, because, while i take a lot of liberties with toby (make him swear more than 47, make him act wayyy more caring and open than he does in hitman), diane is literally almost the same. her wits, sarcasm, beauty, everything is kept in this awesome fox lady. (it was also my first time drawing an anthropomorphic fox, which was sooo fun! i did some warm-up, messy sketches too. i swear the furries are gonna claim me soon, drawing anthros is sooo fun you guys.)

toby's fighter name is "agent T" because i didn't want it to be THAT obvious by naming him 47, but... his HP speaks for itself. i know his stats just SCREAM "mary sue", so SUE ME. he's a damn good fighter!... if only the fight club was fair, then he'd get the proper compensation.

there are a lot of references sprayed throughout their descriptions that i haven't even begun to cover, including lines of dialogue. can you find them? 👀

bonus transparent pngs (featuring injured toby):

[whateverfiction]

I loved the Cold War Campaign! So glad to hear some new thoughts on it (especially because people seemed to have moved on. Sad 😔)

A couple little questions I suppose:

•At what point of the campaign did you realize “this campaign is going to be awesome!”?

•Do you play multiplayer? If so, do you have a favorite operator?

•Do you have a favorite mini-game puzzle?

•Any standout quotes?

•And of course, how would you rank this against any other CODs (if any) that you’ve seen or played?

Ohmigosh. HELLO 😊

Literally my first official ask to do with what I post about. I’m EXCITED to get into this for ya. Excuse me for the caps.

I think the moment I realised that the Campaign was going to be awesome was actually pretty early on. I fell in love with the first mission but it wasn’t until what happened next on the airfield with Arash, that I knew things were going to be pretty cool. But boy, oh boy, Fracture Jaw had me HOOKED. It was from fracture Jaw, that i knew the campaign would be awesome. I say that because it still lingers in my mind. Fracture Jaw was mwah chef’s kiss. I’d go on and on about it but I think I’ll do a lil post for the mission itself some other time.

I actually have played multiplayer and I must say, I do like playing as Adler and Woods quite a bit, I will admit.

Also, mini game puzzles EXIST?! Why have I not heard of this yet? Oh MY GOODNESS. I'm going to try that out. I've only touched one arcade machine and I don't even know what it was called; was like ping pong though.

And yes there are always standout quotes. Take Hudson's "there is no truth; only those who you choose to believe."

I also love Mason's sarcasm of "oh look at that, we perserve the buildings but not the people", when Woods, him and Adler confront Hudson about the Greenlight nukes.

I went for the bad ending on a side note and went back to play the good ending. (bad ending was so cool btw.)

Anyways;

"I just want you to know that his little thing between you and me; it was always for the greater good.

You're a goddamn hero, kid; you know that? Heroes have to make sacrifices.

Which is why, when I ask you for one more, I hope you understand.................

It was never personal."

Just that whole bit of dialogue hit me real good.

And of course we just not forget about, “we have a job to do.”

And now, for the last question you’re waiting on to be answered. I’m only going to rank off of based of what I’ve played.

So, I’ve played MW2(22) and the New MW3 along with COD; BOCW.

Okay so Campaign first.

1. BOCW

2. MW2

3.MW3 being the lowest cuz of obvious reasons if you’ve seen/played it

But in terms of multiplayer……..

1. MW2

2. BOCW

3. MW3

MW2 is my number one in terms of multiplayer because I like my movement. BOCW is number two because it’s crazy fun even though the movement is noticeably slower than today’s multiplayer. The flamethrower and the death machine killstreaks are way too much fun paired together in Mount Yamantu with a smg. MW3 is last as it’s literally MW2 but with a fancier perk system. It could’ve been an update. I don’t think I would’ve passed comment or noticed if it weren’t for the campaign but movement is better in a slight bit.

Thank you so much for this ask yet again. I’m sure you were waiting quite a while for this post.

[d8nielaa]

happy late soc saturday day!!!

could I perchance request a story where the soc boys (Paul, trip, chet, honestly I don't remember many but possibly mostly trip!!!) where soc!fem fights in the rumble and gets hurt and they take care of her (again maybe so possible trip takes her to his house and a few others are there!)

tbh you can make them sarcastic a-holes or super sweet, your choice!

love your work, you're super sweet and awesome! thank you sm💕❤️‍🩹🙇‍♂️

Author's Note: tysm anon! ofc ill write this for you-i also include the girls in here because they deserve some love too🩷 and happy soc saturday

Everybody Here Wants You

Socs x fem!reader

You weren’t supposed to be there. Cherry and Marcia told you not to go. They said it was some turf thing and “not your kind of fight.” Which was hilarious, because they hadn’t seen you with your earrings off and your flats kicked into someone’s ribs yet.

It felt good, in a sick way. Throwing fists. Gritting your teeth. Bleeding just a little. But now, slumped against Trip’s car with your knuckles split and your left eye starting to swell, it didn’t feel so good anymore.

“Jesus, you’re bleeding,” Trip muttered, half horrified, half impressed. He crouched in front of you like he was studying a crime scene. “Did you bite someone?”

You tilted your head. “He called me ‘princess.’ What was I supposed to do?”

Trip snorted and threw his jacket over your shoulders, pulling it tight around you. “Not commit a felony?”

Across the driveway, Brill was pacing like a coked-up soap opera villain, muttering to Paul and Chet. Paul had a cigarette and a jaw locked tight with worry. Chet kept looking over like you’d sprout another bruise if he blinked.

“She shouldn’t’ve gone in,” Brill barked. “You don’t send a goddamn debutante into a dogfight.”

“She sent herself, dumbass,” Beverly snapped from the porch. “Don’t act like you’d’ve stopped her.”

Trip helped you up, slow and careful, like he was scared to break you. “C’mon. You’re coming back to mine. Marcia raided the country club med kit.”

“Love that for me,” you muttered, wincing as he helped you into the car.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The place smelled like lemon polish and inherited wealth. Marcia and Cherry were already waiting with a cold compress and a judgy glare.

“You look like hell,” Marcia said brightly.

“Aw, thanks, Mar.”

Trip laughed as he guided you to the couch. “Alright, everyone shut up, she’s dying.”

Cherry tossed you a bottle of Coke. “We don’t have painkillers. Only champagne and shame.”

“Perfect,” you groaned, leaning your head back against Trip’s shoulder as he cleaned the cut above your eyebrow with a disgusted expression.

“You have blood in your lashes,” he muttered. “You’re a monster. I love it.”

You cracked a smile.

Paul came in with gauze and a bag of frozen peas. “You need stitches?”

“I need a nap,” you muttered. “And maybe a new shoulder.”

Trip leaned in close, brushing a thumb under your eye with a gentleness that didn’t match his usual sarcasm. “You scared the hell outta me,” he said quietly.

You looked at him, all sarcasm draining from your voice. “I had to. They were outnumbered.”

He nodded. “Yeah. And now you’re outnumbered. So let us take care of you, alright?”

The room was too warm, the lights too soft. Brill threw a pillow at you. Chet offered to order takeout. Beverly was pacing with a cigarette she hadn’t lit. And Trip, steady, stubborn Trip, was tucking you under his arm like he planned to stay there forever.

For a second, you let yourself feel safe.

Bruised. Bleeding.

But safe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I LOVE SOC SATURDAYSS

[readingrobin]

Ooof this was probably my roughest month when it came to reading, Didn't really get a lot read since my schedule was jam packed and I didn't get as much reading in as I thought I would during vacation. To top it all off, the things I did manage to read mostly fell on the meh side of things, so I can't even say it was worth it for a few good reads. Oh well. I think I'll have better luck in November.

Total Books Read: 5

Total Pages Read: 1,713

Books Read:

Nightshade by Andrea Cremer (2.5/5) -

This book has been collecting dust on my bookshelves since the great vampire/werewolf YA fiction boom of the early 2010s. Really the only thing that's been keeping me from reading it has been circumstance and a deluge of other things I'd rather be reading. Big note to self, if the synopsis describes one of the teenage lead characters as "sexy," there's a good chance that I, an almost thirty year old adult, will get one of those ick feelings along my spine. It's one thing if it's coming through the perspective of a teenaged character, and another when you know it's more than likely coming from some middle-aged editor in a publishing office cubicle.

Now if I had read this over a decade ago, odds are I would have loved it. Awesome werewolf mythology that seemed very unique, a badass lead character that's not here for your girly dresses or makeup, sarcasm galore, oh yeah teen me would've eaten it up. While I can still appreciate the lore aspect, there are some qualities of the book that just tire me out.

Love triangles are always going to be some dodgy ground, particularly when you don't care for them or either of the love interests. Shay seemed so irresponsible and okay with constantly putting Calla in danger, even if it had the intention of trying to get her to see the truth behind the Keepers. Rey, though slightly better, made some comments here and there that set my teeth grinding, but at least it felt like he actually respected Calla at times. Pretty sure with how the story is going that Shay is ultimately going to win out in the end, which doesn't really encourage me to read any of the sequels.

At least pour one out for the gay werewolf representation in a time where queer characters, even queer side characters, were in short supply.

While I really liked the werewolf lore, the book also reinforces my least favorite werewolf trope, which is reinforcing incorrect "facts" about actual wolf pack dynamics to explain the weird sexism of the werewolf packs. I know it's all to make the term "alpha wolf" look cool and intimidating, but they literally do not exist. Wolf packs are made up of a mated pair and their kids/extended family. There's very little dominance involved. I know bringing actual reality to this werewolf book means absolutely nothing, but they did it first.

There's also an absurd amount of sexism, misogyny, and slut-shaming going on here and yes, I know it's all for us to realize that werewolf society is corrupt and has this weird propaganda thing going on to keeps the wolves in line, but god it's overbearing at times. It's really just a me thing, but I had to visibly cringe when one of the adults told Calla to "keep her legs shut." I don't know, maybe it was too much just because all the characters are like 15-17 years old and I'm entering my "old person yells at YA for being YA" era. God help me.

So yeah, lots of emotions with this one and I'm not sure if I want to continue the series just to get closure or not.

Don't Turn Out the Lights: A Tribute to Alan Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark edited by Jonathan Maberry (3/5) -

Seeing as I was a giant scaredy cat as a kid, I didn't really grow up with Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I tried once, but Stephen Gammell's haunting illustrations proved to be too much for little me who already had an overactive imagination. Now that I have a little more stamina when it comes to horror and spooky pictures, I figured to give this collection a try to find some worthwhile middle grade horror. There are definitely strong contenders in this collection, some that'll even unnerve some adults. Others, well, they're there to give a little variety when it comes to the type and tone of the stories.

My favorites would have to be:

"The Carved Bear" "The Golden Peacock" "The Neighbor" "The Bottle Tree" "The Tall Ones"

I don't know if the collection decently balanced between the light spooky stories that were more humorous and the more traumatizing tales. There are two that sort of stick out like sore thumbs, those being R.L. Stine's and Sherrilyn Kenyon's contributions. Stine is known for his off the wall twists, but this one being a little bit more silly, yet typical for his kind of work, doesn't really make it mesh well with the majority of other stories that want to leave you with a shiver down your spine. Kenyon's poem has the same effect, having more of an innocent, playful tone that sets it apart from the other stories, but not in a memorable way. I think if the collection offered a few more stories like these it wouldn't be so noticeable. Each are completely fine on their own, but not when integrated into a collection that aims to leave lasting scares.

Also, it's REALLY noticeable that some of the writers are writing stories centered around certain cultures that aren't their own or that they have done very little research on. I may be as white as winter snow, but even I know that the Devil has nothing to do with Dia de los Muertos. 

The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London by Christopher Skaife (3/5) -

I have such a great fondness for corvids, be they crows, ravens, magpies, or even blue jays, so I figured this book would be right up my alley. Skaife delves into the history behind the ravens' presence at the Towers, which I was surprised but maybe not too much that it holds a legend that may not be as old and revered as once thought.

I've been to the Tower of London, which helped me visualize some of his stories. The ravens there are definitely a quirky bunch. I remember one that graciously allowed a seagull to peck a bit at their raw chicken lunch, only to shoo them off a few seconds after. This cycle would actually repeat itself a bit, a little nibble and then a shoo, it almost seemed like a sort of game. Anyway, they are very amusing birds and Skaife really does make their personalities shine in this book.

There were moments where the book lost a little steam or included something that seemed a bit superfluous. The chapter on ghosts around the grounds seemed a little out of place in a book about the Tower ravens and the stories get a little repetitive once you edge closer to the end. But if you have an interest in the Tower and its inhabitants, I recommend picking it up.

The Oddmire: Changeling by William Ritter (2.5/5) -

I'm not sure if this is a case of me reading this book at the wrong time or I'm just getting more picky with my middle grade fantasy, but I never really felt very invested in this one. It's a great setup for a story, two brothers venture into a dark magical forest to learn which one of them is human and which is a changeling left by a goblin one long ago night. They meet various friends and threats across the way, culminating in a wonderful depiction of family bonds and loyalty. I appreciated how involved their mother was in the story, who had absolutely no qualms about going into the dangerous forest to save her kids. I love seeing more competent parents in fiction, if only just to show kids that some grownups are capable of being helpful at times.

But, other than that, I didn't really get much out of the story. The brothers seemed very interchangeable, not really having distinguishable personalities so that ultimately it doesn't really matter who is human and who is the changeling. They both have the same worries and fears, the same goals, so there's nothing really to set them apart.

The writing style didn't really pull me in either, to the point where by the last couple of chapters I was doing more skimming than actual reading.

I will say that it is a decent fantasy for younger readers looking for a bit of adventure and magic. It twists some fairy tale conventions just enough to feel fresh while holding onto a few just for good measure. I've probably just read too many at this point to really appreciate it.

Watership Down: The Graphic Novel by Richard Adams, adapated by James Sturm, illustrated by Joe Sutphin (5/5) -

I stumbled upon Watership Down a little later in life, knowing full well of its status as one of those "Top 10 Films that Scarred You As A Child." At some point, I had seen the glorious intro to the film, where Frith bestows various gifts to the animals and El-Ahrairah displays his tricks and cunning, and that immediately sent me to the novel. It's a beautiful story, with lush descriptions of the downs and adventure that, while coming from so humble a place, keeps you interested from beginning to end. By some magic, James Sturm and Joe Sutphin managed to capture everything about this story that has delighted readers for decades.

Sutphin goes for a more naturalistic style, keeping the rabbits and other various animals expressive, but not too cartoony. It mostly keeps to a certain realm of reality, with colors that are more muted, but never do any sort of disservice to the setting. While I am a fan of styles that bush boundaries, this style is perfect for Watership Down that, while seemingly fantastical at times, is a very down to earth tale. There's a certain charm to it that comes from the simplicity of its setup, that is a group of animals just trying to survive.

Of course, not every plot point and character makes it through the process of adaptation. I am thankful that Sturm was able to include some of the folk tales of the rabbits, which was one of my favorite elements of the story. Naturally, to keep this story to a single volume and maintain a sense of flow, things would have to be reworked and shifted.

In my opinion, this graphic novel is an exemplary transfiguration on the original story that will please fans and hopefully entice new readers to the book.

Rating Average 3.2

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 15: Ottery St Mary

Okay, so I know this episode is controversial.

I think we all agree it's a classic. But I'm told that for some people, it's just too mean to Arthur for people to like it. I get this point of view, but I disagree.

But we'll get to that soon.

First of all, this episode is full of so many epic, classic Cabin Pressure moments that you kind of HAVE to like it. Yellow car? That magnificent post-credits song? 100 otters? (And re that last one, for those who haven't seen this, if you want to see what's effectively a pre-draft of the script...) And that doesn't even get to the Carolyn/Herc plotline, which is awesome on its own.

I'll talk about that one first, actually, because it continues on something that my bandaged finger yesterday prevented me from elaborating on- the Carolyn/Herc relationship beginning. I know very few people in real life in relationships that are the kind of adversarial ones that you can get in sitcoms, and I think that S4 will do a lot to make their relationship a bit more realistic, but it really doesn't matter because a) the dialogue is funny and b) the actors are really able to convey how much fun the characters are having arguing. Is that going to sustain a healthy relationship? Nah. Is it going to get the two of them interested enough to become (as Carolyn will put it later) "sparring partners"? Of course. Later we'll see them acquire a bit more of the balance and mutual vulnerability that will allow them to live a normal day together, but for now this is super fun.

(I also thought it was interesting how back in Newcastle, the two of them were much more mutually collegial, even if they were arguing a lot- and this episode they were way more adversarial. At first I was kind of like "wait... isn't this backward?" but really, when you think about it, Carolyn's kind of testing Herc here, and Herc is showing that not only does he pass but he's enjoying himself. So this is bringing their relationship forward and proving that they're more comfortable with each other.)

As far as the piano-shoving plot- okay, so I actually think it's kind of genius. Because it SEEMS like it's more of a Limerick, with the random different things all coming together, but I think it's actually more of an Ipswich. It's beautifully plotted, if a bit simpler of a plot than some other episodes. Listening to it, it's just so enjoyable to hear the plot unfold... especially because the plot IS so simple, or at least deceptively so. You barely even notice that it's happening until it does.

For another past-episode callback, remember all the fuss I was making about Cremona vs Douz? How the crazy plot needs to measure up to the crazy villain? So I think it actually works great here. There isn't actually an outside villain here- each of them is the architect of their crazy sitcom hijinks, each in his own way. Martin creates the situation and does basically nothing to help, and Douglas and Arthur each make stupid mistakes that hold them all back. And the nice thing about them themselves being the villains is that it means that, because they're crazy sitcom characters, no plot resolution is too crazy. If Douglas and Arthur end up dragging a piano through Ottery St Mary, then that's totally the sort of thing that might happen to them!

But it goes further than that. They're all the "villains" from a purely plot perspective- but there's another dimension, which is theme. And thematically, Douglas is the villain, and Arthur is the hero. Because the thing is, Martin and Douglas are, as people note, pretty mean to Arthur here- but they're not actually meaner here than they are at other times. They just do it more often, and Arthur reacts a bit more strongly. And it's Douglas who really is awful to Arthur about the keys and to a lesser degree the address- the typical sarcasm but even more biting and nasty, and to an Arthur who seems really upset.

The interesting thing is that there are a bunch of episodes where Arthur comes out looking kind of dumb. (Like, the moral of Ipswich is basically "any company with an Arthur in it is too doomed to receive a legal permit to operate"...) From that perspective, the show has been pretty hard on him the whole time. And I'm not sure there's an episode where Martin comes out of the thing winning until... Vaduz? Maybe? But even Douglas's big taken-down-a-peg episode, Johannesburg, ends with him getting one over on Martin. His whole function is to end the episode saving the day. This, however, is the first episode* where Douglas is unequivocally the clot by the end... and Arthur gets a chance to be the one to tell him so.

Like, that's art. When Douglas finally gets taken down a peg- and stays there!!- it's Arthur, who they've been having a lot of fun insulting (and who takes it like a champ), who gets to get his own back. He doesn't get to bounce back- he just has to take it, knowing that he was an asshole even if he's too embarrassed to admit it.

So that's why I can't really hate the episode for how mean it is to Arthur- first of all because the show kind of always was, and secondly because, well, hearing Arthur call him a clot is like poetry.

Next up... one of my absolute faves... PARIS!

*As I think about this, I realize that Fitton is an exception- but I'm going to let my argument stand as technically that happens outside the bounds of the aircraft and the airline, even if the repercussions, to a degree, show up in the airline in Gdansk and Limerick.

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #42: “Puberty” | March 8, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E02

Tim and Eric explore the saltier side of growing up in “Puberty”, an episode that is roughly thematic. The wraparounds for this episode involve Eric going through puberty, resulting in a deeper voice (augmented with the high-tech computers found at Abso Lutely studios), and a fresh new mound of pubic hair bulging out of his khaki shorts. The set is a treehouse, Tim & Eric's hangout and what would turn out to be the last vestige of their respective boyhoods. Thanks to Eric’s raging hormones, these halcyon days are in severe jeopardy, with Eric feeling very ready to replace his childish playtime with sexual encounters with cheap, disgusting women. Will their partnership survive?

The cold open of the show is for a nightmarish children’s “toy” called the Cinco I-Jammer, which children can engage with by e-bumping. E-bumping seems like it’s just a direct dopamine-spiker by way of a high-pitched frequency that creepily causes the children’s eyes to roll back into their heads. It’s also equipped with “Oh-Hungee”, which is a tube that deposits a bland-looking gruel into children’s bare hands. Kids are encouraged by the ad to replace their parents’ meals with “oh-hungee”. The ad is effective in mimicking hyper-active commercials aimed at children as well as giving off a trademark Tim & Eric style sinister vibe. 

I like this one quite a bit. The little girl in the ad who has most of the lines is a very funny actor. She gives a spirited delivery that is hard to be pissed off with. I went down a brief rabbit hole to see if she pursued comedy after this. I found three potential matches and one of them is doing art in Denver, CO. One of them is sadly dead. A third one stopped posting on instagram around the time the other one died, so they might be the same person. I hope she’s the alive one. RIP to a proper legend if not. 

OF NOTE: The DVD contains an alternate version of the I-Jammer sketch. It's about 70% the same, with some alternate jokes and Bob Odenkirk doing the voice-over. I think the as-aired version is stronger.

Next up: DLH sings a song about Puberty. I think the overall subject of puberty for comedy’s sake is pretty worn out, but Tim & Eric have a way with words that elevate the material. But this song resembles a low-effort comedic take on the subject by somebody with less talent. But, that’s sorta DLH’s whole deal, isn’t it?

I feel like you can categorize DLH’s various songs into a few different styles: bat-shit crazy alien stuff, earnest-seeming educational offerings, and then this: a song you where you get the sense that he’s trying to be actually funny. Overall, I’m just glad that this is brief, and there are small moments that are actually reasonably funny, like him mildly botching his lines and correcting himself during the preamble. This one seems like they included it more out of duty to keep the DLH quotient up, as well as help prop up the theme of the show. 

Forting with Will features Will Forte (hey, that’s sort of a pun!) playing Will Grello (NOT a pun), teaching a small group of children how to make pillow forts while he goes off the rails with tangents about his dark childhood, particularly his relationship with his father. This one is lightly thematic; forting is a childish pastime (Tim & Eric’s wraparounds are from a tree house, an equally classic type of fort), and we’re witnessing a man whose own puberty was pretty traumatic. This one does little to shine above previous Will Grello installments, but it’s still funny. The most significant running gag in this one is Grello becoming so distraught reliving his trauma that he pees his pants. His enraged sarcasm when he asks for a towel, waits a beat, and hollers “yeah, NOW!” has been in my head for a while. 

Finally, the other bit of substance is a Morning Meditation sketch, which I've crowed about being a less-than-favorite of mine. This one has a truly unsettling reveal, that the man we're watching trot around on camera is actually on stilts. This is enough to make me declare that this could be the best Morning Meditation sketch of all time. Only took them two seasons to get it right.

Tim & Eric’s wraparounds are pretty significant in this one, and have a lotta memorable bits and funny lines. Eric’s low-pitched voice aids the deadpan delivery of certain lines. Lotta great disgusting phrasing about his “mushroom tip”, and exploring “wet holes”. They really make sexual intercourse sound unappetizing. Tim affably lamenting “unfortunately I’m still boy” got me laughin'. Eric calling Tim a “fag” (bleeped out) also got me. I also need to highlight the part where Tim says “I guess I’ll go play with myself”, which is followed up by a light touch of tepid studio audience laughter.

Tim’s problems are solved by seeing a commercial for the Cinco Man Shake, which is fronted by a pitchman with a slightly grotesque muscle man physique. I feel like Tim & Eric are very good at casting people whose attractiveness fall into that uncanny valley; hyper masculine or feminine people whose bodies mostly reflect a conventional ideal but are slightly strange-looking. The guy they got for this fits that bill, while also delivering a spirited and genuinely compelling performance.

The shake in question requires adding a "fistful" of your friend’s pubic hair to the concoction, which Tim harvests from Eric’s thicket. Eric jocularly pretending it hurts and then giving a sheepish “just kidding” to the camera is great. Eric’s strengths are especially played to in this episode.

Tim attempts to hork down the shake, which contains a glob of Eric’s wet hair. Even though I’m intelligent enough to understand that little Timmy is sucking on sterile wig hair, it’s still one of the grossest things the show has ever shown me. Tim, with a mouth full of hairy goo, looking to the camera and saying “just a little more left to go and I’ll be a man” is another one of those moments that has never left my brain. The result is Tim essentially becoming a werewolf. “I’m a man now no more playtime for me” Tim drones in a borderline incomprehensible guttural tone. 

Overall I really like this one. It’s imperfect, but most of these episodes are. I can see this one coming off as an unimpressive exercise playing with low-hanging fruit, but it’s low-brow and juvenile humor paired with really funny/weird line deliveries really sells this one for me. Good ep!

EPHEMERA CORNER: 

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #93: “A PE Christmas” (series version)

I already covered this episode, because it originally aired around Christmastime, 2009, but it was a slightly different version from this one. This is the version that included additional scenes at the end, with Meatwad at Chuck D’s mansion. I am pretty sure the original version ends with Shake’s gastro-intestinal eel infestation causing him to die in a jail cell. The stronger ending, in my opinion. Also if anyone has a HQ copy of the 2009 version of A PE Christmas, please let me know! 

[goldmanguyperson]

(idk how to tag this so im just going to put a break in. i talk about sexual trauma but in a way that is not at all detailed; i am simply speaking of why people, especially kids, might not talk about it. Cept for the last part which i have put a special and very large warning for)

i think it’s weird that many people expect minors to be completely pure and have no sexual thoughts or desires. not to say that they should publicly express them!! that is dangerous and also i do not want to know about it (and neither should any other random adult).

but i do think that acting like they can never be sexual makes it a lot harder for minors to accept that feeling such ways is completely okay. Especially since the age range the term “minor” is about, includes the ages when theyre experiencing such things for the first time, and trying to figure them out. They deserve to feel safe to talk about it with people they trust, and should not be shamed for doing so. Even when it turns out poorly for them because the person they trusted turns out to be not trustworthy, that still does NOT mean that it was their fault and they should go back to being “pure”. it means it was the trusted person’s fault. (Please note i am not saying it is okay for adults to engage in explicit talk with minors. i mean it should be safe for them to ask questions about what is okay and to search for reassurance. and it definitely should be okay for minors to speak amongst others around their age, so long as everyone is safe and comfortable, just like anybody else).

demonizing these feelings among minors also can make it harder to discuss things that have happened to them or things theyve seen that they may be uncomfortable about, if they are sexual in nature. It is vitally important to be able to speak about scary and uncomfortable things that may have happened to you, and making that as a cultural baseline harder to do is fucking nasty.

There is definitely a lot of questions and concerns to be had about teens communicating about such things online. I do not deny that. But I do also think it worth considering that many people do not feel comfortable speaking about many things with others in person, or they may have a tough and unaccepting in person life that makes it difficult to speak to others in general, and they do not deserve to feel lonely in any aspect. This is not to say that talking online is fully safe, and no harm can come from it. It isn’t, and it can. And yes, it can totally be easier for minors to be exploited online, in large part because you cannot tell who is on the other side of the screen. But life offline is also not perfectly safe. It offers a few more tools to know who to avoid, but can also be more dangerous to being physically safe, and liars and exploitative people always have the potential to lie and exploit, no matter where they are.

(suicide attempt CW, no detail and not mine, in this next paragraph. Also sexual harassment, when i was a child, that was done to me! awesome /sarcasm. and obviously, you dont need to read this next part.)

I speak from experience. we all were young once. my most traumatizing online experience was not a sexual one, but it was still extremely distressing, and it did involve a different but similar taboo. Someone almost killed themselves when I was trying to help them over DM. If my mom were any less supportive or understanding of those with mental health issues, I likely would not have talked to her about what had happened. I only got support in what happened because i grew up around those who attempt to destigmatize mental health. I cannot imagine how i would deal with an experience like being sexually taken advantage of or otherwise traumatized or significantly discomforted in a sexual way online. i dont think i would have told a soul, for many reasons, the significant one being that it was so often implied to me that to be sexual is wrong. it took me years of help from my friends to stop being so scared of myself in this aspect.

I actually literally did get sexually harassed once, in person, by an at the time fellow teen. i was slapped in an inappropriate place and taunted about it. I told nobody until years later; in part because of the idea that to be sexual is to be bad. I only even realized that this fit the definition of sexual harassment much later. If I had not been steeped in the idea that nobody my age could have possibly done such a thing, if i had not been steeped in the idea that minors can never feel sexual or want power in a sexual manner, if i had felt able to speak, maybe some action could have been taken. maybe i would at least have not had to fucking deal with that kid at camp again. Or maybe i wouldve just been pulled out of that camp because of course, it’s always the victim’s fault, isn’t it? But anyways. yknow the only people i ended up telling? one girl who thought the guy was into her, to try and keep her safe; and my online friends i have had for probably like half a decade now (a lot to all of us cuz we are all young and around the same age) because they were the only people i really trusted about stuff like this.

in ending. Fucked up shit! stigma is bad, people, it fucking sucks! I will not let you perpetuate it. especially not in the name of progressivism, not in the name of keeping kids safe, not in the name of anybody. you help nothing and and up ruining lives

[poohnotpiku]

Chapter 12 : Pooh & Resolutions

Bringing back Pooh after months and that too on the last day of the year! Sounds like a Khan movie release on Diwali or Eid! LOL! Jokes apart, Pooh was lost in the vicious circle of life in the past year…Was she passing through life or life was passing by her…not sure….but she was still breathing and may be just hibernating….Now she is waking up and let’s hope she does some good before snoozing away again ;)

Coming back to business, isn’t it that time of the year when you hear words like Resolutions and Goals, the most? Seriously, world now needs some new vocabulary for a new year! The emotional pressure these words create is unimaginable. Everyone is under the burden to identify unique new year resolutions and boast about them in social media or to their gang or anybody who gives a fcuk about it!

Pooh isn’t different from others in this and hence I have been thinking and thinking and thinking about what should be my resolutions for 2024. And during this ‘storming-of-the-brain’ process, I came to many realizations (oh yes! I am a saint now! #sarcasm)

Aren’t there already so many problems, issues, to-do items in my bucket, waiting for me to act upon, that I need to add another to the list! Why should I be spending so much of my precious brain (as very little of it is left now) for such a superficial thing. Yes, resolutions are superficial, unless you act upon them or at least have the intention to act! I shouldn’t be needing to think so much about my resolutions. Resolutions shouldn’t be made just in the beginning of a new year and then forgotten before the end of the first week. Real Resolutions, or rather Effective Resolutions, are those that our brain makes instantly, on any day, any time of the year. It can be made while taking an early morning dump or while eating popcorn during an action movie or unconsciously in your dreams…It can hit you any day any time and these are the resolutions which count coz they are meant to be! So, peeps there is no pressure to have resolution(s) identified by tomorrow. Take your time and if no resolution comes to you, then also it’s not a problem at all. May be your life is already in the right course, so enjoy it to the fullest!!

In the past year, I have realized that physical well-being is important but mental well-being is the most important and most of us are struggling here! Some of us know this, some of us aren’t aware while some of us do not take it seriously. I am no spiritual guru or psychologist, but what I can share is my personal experience. Peeps, do not shy away from these mental and emotional issues, if any! It is no longer a social stigma (and even if it were, to hell with the society)! Face your problems, accept it that they are there and seek help. Help of a professional or a friend or a relative or a religion or a cult or anything which works for you. But do not ignore it. If we do not help ourselves, then no one else can. Also human mind is most complex and same formula doesn’t work for all. Do not look at other’s solutions, to find yours. Find your own solution, your own path. It isn’t easy, there is no damn shortcut here, so brace yourself and start this ‘treasure hunt’ and am sure you would find most valuable treasures in this journey!

I am quite sure, you guys might be thinking why is Pooh being so serious. It is just that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. I am on my treasure hunt and may be I have a very long journey ahead, but if my words can help someone to find their hidden treasure, just right off the corner, then it would make me the most happiest and would give me the power to move ahead on my path, searching for my destiny!

Signing off on this note today i.e. last day of 2023, with the hope for an awesome 2024 for all of us! Let us all try to be fitter, mentally and emotionally (and physically of course), and rest will be taken care of! Love Yourself! Aim for the stars and, who knows, your earth might find it’s sun!! Ttyl!