#which is why despite me aiming to get at least two of them in each shot for this

[kim-ruzek]

I love this trio so damn much <3

[twistedwonderworm]

Can i request AFAB smut monsterfucking with azul ashengrotto in his mer form👀

Sorry this took so long and sorry if it's bad. I got swamped by requests and despite that they're still open. So one of my friends helped by writing this for me with me being the one to edit it. So credit to her.

Mating Season (TWST NSFW)

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x AFAB!reader

Warnings: rough sex, mer sex, afab terms, reader wearing makeup (forgot to edit that out, I'm sorry)

Word count: 1,138

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

Y/n was heading to the Octavinelle dorm, to visit their boyfriend Azul. The couple were planning on spending the summer together. When they got there, they looked around and saw both Jade and Floyd standing almost in front of Azul’s office.

“Hey guys, why are you standing in front of the door? Is Azul busy?” they asked the two. Both Jade and Floyd looked at each other before they looked at Y/N.

“Well…Azul is having a week to himself as he has been really stressed.” Floyd said to them to try and get them away, but Y/N was determined to see their boyfriend. They eventually got the two to move so they could get inside. Jade tried to warn them but the human wouldn't listen.

As Y/N opened the door, they noticed that it was dark, and they closed the door. When they did so, they could see a blue light but what got their gears going were the soft moans they heard. It sounded like Azul though his voice sounded a little deeper than normal. Y/N walked forward to find their boyfriend. When they did find him, their face heated up as they flushed upon seeing what Azul was doing.

Azul was laying in a water filled tub that the twins probably brought in for him, jerking off almost desperately… and in his Mer form no less. They had to admit that he was actually quite beautiful in his mer form, sleek and toned. The coloring also quite gorgeous. But they quickly shook their head to get those thoughts out of their head. Unfortunately, it was futile. They could only think about him being inside them. About him making them see stars. However, Azul had noticed that they had walked in, and he stopped his hand. He looked back at their red, flushed face. He couldn’t help but smirk and called them forward with a finger. His aura was different when he didn’t have his glasses on, and his hair was a slight mess.

“Ah angelfish. I see Jade and Floyd let you inside. Well, since you’re here… come on and help me out, will you?” He purred seductively to them.

Y/N could only gulp softly, What have I gotten myself into? they thought before walking over and slowly going to their knees. They took his cock into their hand. It was a lot bigger than they anticipated and was quite odd, as they had assumed it was one of his arms. Nevertheless they aimed to please.

Soon enough Y/N started to suck on his cock, using their tongue to play with the tip. They soon took in more as they felt Azul’s hand grip their hair, which caused them to deep-throat him. They gagged in surprise from the sudden action, almost choking. Normally, Azul would be flushing at their actions, but would stay soft and tender. Instead he was rough and desperate to cum. It didn't take long before Y/N felt him twitch in their mouth, and they were pulled off.

He scooped them up and moved them to his desk on their back. While they were still being surprised at how easily he was able to do so, there octomer divested them of their bottoms and underwear. His extra arms wrapped around their thighs, keeping them open as he leaned down and attacked their clit with hard sucks and licks. Because of Azul’s heat he was unable to stop even if they begged him to. Though he knew he would at least try even though they tasted so divine. Once he felt they were wet enough, he pulled away with a pop and smirked.

“Oh, don’t worry, angelfish. I’ll give you what you want…if you beg for it.” He said with a chuckle. Y/N could only blink as they whined trying to move their hips but the tight grip of his tentacles were tight. They wanted him to continue but they didn’t want to beg either. Soon they let out a small yelp as one of his free tentacles smacked their clit. They looked at him just to see that damn smug look. The one they both loved and hated. They bit their lower lip and whined again.

“P-please Azul, please taste your prey.” They begged and boy, did Azul deliver. As he ate them out, he could hear them cry out his name over and over again, getting higher each time. Before long they soon could feel the knot tighten then snap as they climaxed on his tongue.

Azul soon pulled away, licking his lips as he moved up and aligned himself before he thrusted all the way in. This wasn’t the first time they had sex, but it was the first time they did it during his heat and in his Mer form. But even if he was in a lust driven haze, he still allowed them to adjust to his size. His tentacle was slick and smooth inside of them, twitching inside them every now and then. Once they gave the okay, they would soon find out why the eels tried to keep them away.

They were moaning loudly as Azul pounded into them, and he could only laugh at their state. Their hair messed up and over their eyes. The lipstick they wore was smeared and the eyeliner streaked down their cheeks from the tears that fell while Azul was giving them great oral.

What they didn’t know was that Azul was on the last day of his heat as it was the strongest. They soon looked at Azul with pleading eyes as their climax was taken away twice now. They could feel that he was close, and so were they. Soon enough azul’s tentacles moved to action as two touched their chest and nipples while another rubbed their clit at a quick pace that sent them spiraling into a hard orgasm. They screamed out his name and almost passed out from pleasure as their body tensed up. When Azul felt them orgasm, clenching around him and trying to milk his cock, he soon followed. He slammed in one more time before he orgasmed himself, pumping them full of cum. He panted and held them close as he shifted back into his human form. When he was back in human form, he sat down in his desk chair, his legs being too wobbly to stand. Soon Azul chuckled and helped them get cleaned up and smiled.

“Are you alright dear? Did I go too rough on you?” he asked them with a knowing smile. All they could do was nod and smile softly. Even if he was rough they knew the next time he had his mating season they were definitely helping him. Afterall, Mer people couldn’t get humans pregnant…or could they?

[silver-ink-iron-words]

Hey there, my hiatus is over

I realize I promised to have this up a couple weeks ago, but hey at least I'm here now

Hope you all like it. And thank you so much for these messages, they really helped motivate me in the periods where I was struggling to write

----

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

A Bird in the Hand, Part 8

The civilian hobbled about the kitchen in full view of the windows, collecting cardamoms, cloves, tea leaves, ginger – before dumping them into the pot to brew. The sight was peaceful, soothing, domestic.

The assassin raised his gun and took aim.  

“[Civilian]!” The villain burst into the room grinning from ear to ear. The assassin’s aim swerved, and he halted his momentum just before firing the gun. 

“Welcome home, darling,” the civilian said, holding out a cup of tea for the villain. 

The villain took the cup and placed it on the counter, instead taking the civilian into their arms. “God it’s been a day. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of seeing you.”

The assassin paused. The villain wasn’t supposed to be home yet. He’d lost his clean line of sight on the civilian.  

The villain was too strong to kill – their shadows healed them at lightning speed. But targeting the civilian? What a perfect way to strike the Achilles Heel of the villain’s entire operation. 

The assassin tilted his head, and watched the pair. The villain held the civilian securely, the two of them practically melting into each other. The civilian sang softly, and they both floated as a single unit in the gentle river of a melody. 

The assassin once again had a clear shot on the civilian. He considered taking it despite the risk, just on the mere principle of seeing two people so happily in love while his home city burned. 

But he paused. He thought he’d caught a detail, a little movement. And while it was possible he was projecting, years of bitter work in this business had taught him to trust his instincts. 

When the villain first walked through the door, the assassin could’ve sworn he saw the civilian flinch.  

--- 

“What are you getting out of this?” the assassin asked. 

To the civilian’s credit, they didn’t scream. The assassin could see them tense, coiled and ready for a mad dash back to the house. But at least they didn’t scream. 

The assassin jumped down from the tree, close enough to be a threat to the civilian but far enough still to remain out of the sight of any henchmen. He noted the civilian’s muddy gloves, their kneeling posture, the tall yellow flowers they’d been carefully pruning piled next to them in the grass. 

“Like to garden?” the assassin said. 

“Who are you?” 

The assassin was disappointed, a little bit. His targets – the ones he actually spoke to – always asked the mundane questions. They were never perceptive enough to understand that all the “why”s and “how”s and “where did you come from”s would go unanswered. He’d sort of hoped that someone like the civilian would be different. 

“I’m someone with an interest in saving lives,” he said “Now, since I like you, I'll ask again. What are you getting out of this?”  

Evidently, the civilian was the expressive type. Their eyes flicked to their trowel, then the surrounding gardens, and lastly to the house some hundred meters away, never realizing how each movement of their retinas projected their thoughts to the assassin.  

“I’m not sure what you mean,” they said finally. 

The assassin leaned against the tree. It was a deceptive stance in which he looked relaxed and unthreatening, but could spring into action at a hair-breadth’s notice. 

“One day, [Hero] is at the top of their game," he began. "The next day, main street is nothing but craters. And then some two-bit villain that no one remembers suddenly becomes god of the city." He crouched down to meet the civilian’s gaze. "Makes you wonder if there isn't a puppeteer somewhere, holding strings."

The civilian blinked. “Did you come up with that on your own, or is that the commonly held belief about me?"

“Are you saying you didn’t shack up with [Villain] willfully?” 

The look of revulsion that crossed the civilian’s face said it all. The assassin’s grin widened. He loved being proven right. 

“Okay.” He stood up, dusting off his pants, and held his hand out to the civilian. “Let’s go.” 

The civilian glanced between the assassin’s hand and his face. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Didn’t you hear my bit about saving lives?” He reached for the civilian, but they lurched away. 

“Listen,” the civilian said. They slowly rose, their bad leg making it awkward. “You do not understand what is going on here. If I disappear, [Villain] will look for me.” 

“Most villains do,” the assassin agreed. “Feels nice to be wanted, don’t it?” He took a careful step towards the civilian, but again they moved back. 

“You’re not listening. [Villain] will kill you.” 

The assassin shrugged. He leaned forward a tiny bit more. 

“Help!” the civilian yelled. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, both equally surprised by the civilian's outburst. The civilian took in a breath. Then, louder, “Help please!” 

The assassin was gone long before the guards even entered the gardens. 

---

The civilian was a decent actor. The assassin had to give them that. 

The couple went about their evening routine like usual – a warm welcome home, dinner, an after-meal tea, and then finally cuddling. The villain’s head rested on the civilian’s chest and the civilian read a paperback, all while Sinatra played on an old record in the other room. The assassin might have even bought it, if the civilian had turned the page of their book once within the last forty-five minutes.

“I would like to discuss something,” the villain said, their eyes still closed.

The civilian’s expression twinged. “Hm?”

The villain opened their eyes, and adjusted so that they were looking the civilian in the face. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course.”

“And do you love me too?”

“Of course.”

The villain smiled, and that almost seemed like it would be the end of it. But then their hand went to the civilian’s jaw, shadows emanating from their fingertips. “So then why did my henchmen see you talking with a stranger in the gardens this afternoon?”

The civilian’s eyes widened. “It’s not what you think.”

“Oh, I know what it is.” The villain’s shadows warped out like talons, and the civilian jerked back in pain.

“I don’t know who that person was. I wasn’t trying to leave.” The civilian’s voice was strained. “I love you too much to ever do that.”

“My dear, if only I could believe you.” The villain held the civilian down in their writhing. They leaned in until their faces were nearly touching. “What will you do to prove you are willing to stay?”

“Whatever you want. I – ” The shadows entered the civilian’s throat, choking them and cutting off their words. Tears sprang to the civilian’s eyes.

“Come now, love.” The villain lifted the civilian in their arms. “I need to show you what happens when you let your affections stray.”

And then, just before the villain reached the door, they stumbled. The movement was awkward and wobbly – one moment they were striding confidently across the room and the next their knees were on the ground. The civilian dropped to the floor with a yelp.

The villain grasped their head as though in pain. All their shadows had evaporated. "What? . . ."

“Holy fuck,” the civilian said, scrambling backwards. “Holy fuck it worked.”

The villain jerked their gaze up. “What did you do?”

The civilian burst out laughing.

"[Civilian]!" The villain tried to move forward but swooned, only just catching themself with their arms outstretched.

“Angel’s trumpet,” the civilian said, struggling to get their laughter under control. Their wild eyes went to the empty mugs on the table. “Brugmansia candida. Symptoms include difficulty with speech, delirium –” their gaze slid back to the villain, “– and paralysis. I’ve been told it also makes for a rather delicious tea.”

The assassin’s memory flashed to the tall yellow flowers the civilian had been pruning.

“You – ” The villain tried to stand up, but collapsed down again on their knees. “I’m going to kill you.”

“I doubt it.” The civilian rose from the floor wearing a triumphant grin, and limped to the opposite wall. “You never seemed quite unhinged enough to destroy your own power source.” They opened a closet door and pulled out a backpack.

"What are you doing?" the villain asked, their voice hitched in fear.

"Leaving, of course." The civilian went to the kitchen cabinets and threw in supplies. They returned and slung the bag over their shoulders. "As much as I want to stick around and see if I brewed enough to kill you, I best get going. I'll say one thing though." They leaned down and grabbed the villain's chin. "You repulse me, [Villain]. And I never once loved you."

"I will find you." The villain's limbs began shaking as they watched the civilian move away. "It will take mere weeks. Days, even! I don't care how much of this city I have to destroy." 

The civilian's footsteps paused.

The villain's words quickened, growing eager. "That's right, [Civilian]. I will ruin this city. Stay here and you save countless lives. Mothers, children, innocent people who –"

The civilian strode back and kicked the villain in the chest. "You try anything like that, and I'm killing myself." 

The assassin watched with growing respect as the civilian limped out the front door, the villain screaming their name all along the way. 

-----

Taglist:

@d-cs , @asrasmysoulmate

[yawnzznlsr]

LOML

characters: y/n, kang taehyun, choi yeonjun, huening kai, choi soobin and choi beomgyu

summary: taehyun and y/n were high school sweethearts who everyone believed would get married because they found their “person” but they didn’t know what happened behind the scenes.

genre: fluff (if u read inbetween the lines), angst, taehyun x f!reader

彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡

Y/n and Taehyun have been together since they were in their first year of high school. They were the couple everyone wanted to be, despite y/n being best student and taehyun being best athlete. They worked well together. Everyone looked at them in awe on their graduation day. They did it. They stayed together until the end. End of high school of course. They had no idea on what was coming. Let’s just say it was the beginning of the end.

They both aimed to attend the same university, which they were able to do. Taehyun got a scholarship from playing basketball and y/n had perfect grades. Everything worked out in their favor. They lived together since they did go abroad to study but at least they had each other right? Well that was until Taehyun started to go partying with his new buddies in uni and left y/n alone waiting for him to come home but he didn’t until 2-3 am. When he got home y/n was pissed off.

“Tae why were you out so late?” Y/n trying to keep her cool even though she was fuming.

“Sorry I was out with friends but i’m here now let’s sleep okay?” Taehyun visibly annoyed with y/n which caused the girl to get up and leave their room.

“Baby where are you going?” Taehyun asked stunned at her actions.

“Away from you.” He knew he messed up the moment the words came out her mouth.

Being too tired he just slept. Y/n waiting for him hours later she realized the sun started coming up and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore.

time skip to the morning

While Taehyun went to his morning class y/n packed a small bag with her most valuable things and left their shared apartment. Suitcase in one hand and her phone in the other she walks down to their front door one last time leaving a note behind for him. No one has seen her since.

Her brothers Yeonjun, Soobin and Beomgyu are the only chance you’d have seeing the girl but they never let anyone in. They saw how badly their sister was hurt, they never saw her this way. They were just as shocked to hear about their breakup. No one would’ve expected it, especially not in that way.

“Baby sis you have to eat it’s been days.” Soobin tried to get the girl to open her door. There was no luck.

“Come on y/n we cooked for you or at least we tried.” Yeonjun tried to joke but he was out of luck as well.

“Guys let me try something.” Beomgyu says to clear the door which the other two brothers were covering.

“Y/nnie I brung my guitar. I know how much it hurts i’ve been there. Let’s go through it together. Were your brothers we got you always and forever. You’re our baby. Now open the door so we can play some songs and talk. That sound like a plan?” Beomgyu desperately wants y/n to open the door.

“Okay…” the girl had finally spoke. It had been days since they last heard the girl. They were convinced something bad might have happened for being so malnourished.

The door opens and the 3 boys come inside getting chairs as Beomgyu starts to talk.

“Songs first or talking first?” He calmly asks his younger sister who has obviously been crying before. Her face is all puffy, eyes are swollen and still filled with tears wanting to escape and her nose is red.

“Songs.” Y/n’s voice was missing something. It was like her light was missing. She wasn’t herself and everyone knew that. Including her.

Beomgyu starts to strum the siblings favorite song to comfort each other. Safe and sound.

They begin to sing. (Yeonjun = yj, Beomgyu=bg, Soobin=Sb)

yj: I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go

sb: When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here alone but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

bg: just close your eyes, the sun is going down you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now come morning light you and i’ll be safe and sound

yj,bg and sb: ouuuhh, ouuuhhh (oh woah) (oh woahwoah), ouuuhhhh, ouuuhhh (ouuuhhh) (oh woah) (oh no)

yj and sb: don’t you dare look out your window darling everything’s on fire

bg: the war outside our door keeps raging on. hold on to this lullaby, even when the musics gone (yj: gone)

bg and yj: just close your eyes, the sun is going down you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now come morning light you and i’ll be safe and sound

yj,bg and sb: Ooh (ooh) Ooh (ooh) Oh whoa (oh whoa) Oh whoa (oh whoa) Ooh (ooh) Ooh (ooh) Oh whoa Oh whoa

yj: Just close your eyes You'll be alright Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound

yj: Ooh, ooh, Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh

As Beomgyu plays the last chord left to play Y/n bursts into tears cause the boys to give their sister a hug.

“Thank you guys” y/n says in the middle of their hug

“You’re our baby sister we’ll do anything for you” Yeonjun replied

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Soobin asked but he was cautious with asking

“Yeah. I think i’m ready” Y/n replied her voice barely above a whisper.

“So basically, everything was perfect when we first left. That was until he met his new buddies. He changed so much. He wasn’t the Taehyun I was in love with and I’m sure that he was falling out of love with me. He started partying and getting wasted and coming home late at night. What drew the line was the last time before I left and came here. He had a hickey on his neck and I’m sure he didn’t even realize I saw. I couldn’t take it anymore. The waiting for him. I couldn’t take it anymore.” Y/n in Beomgyu’s arms crying but recollecting herself in front of her brothers.

On the other hand Taehyun hasn’t been himself either. He knows he messed up. Only person he feels like he can go to is his bestfriend Heuningkai. He has his “new buddies” but even he knew himself they were well-weather friends. Since they have a break Taehyun went to visit Kai and well Kai put some sense back into that boy.

“ARE YOU CRAZY??? YOU LET GO OF Y/N? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT?” Kai basically fuming asks his bestfriend in disbelief. Even Kai was disappointed in him.

“I DON’T KNOW. SHE JUST LEFT AND I HAVEN’T SEEN HER SINCE THAT NIGHT.” Taehyun threw the note y/n left behind.

Kai quickly picking it up and reading through it.

“Dude you fucked up hard. You’re losing a good girlfriend just to throw your life away in parties. What happened to the Tae that defending her huh??” He was friends with both parties but it was clear who was in the wrong.

“People change after high school Kai. I’m not the same person I was before. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Taehyun starts to tear up by the end of his sentence. He wants his girlfriend back but after he saw his own hickey where he didn’t even recall getting it from he knew there was no chance.

“Why would you hurt her? If you want her back you better work hard for it.” His bestfriend almost yelling at him to go to his senses.

"I should fix this." Taehyun hurries out the door bidding his goodbyes to Heuningkai.

He spam calls Yeonjun begging hin to let him see her. Yeonjun obviously denying but when y/n said he can come over he gave in.

Taehyun's hand shakily knocking on the door. He was faced with three brothers that look like they were ready to fight him.

"You have 10 minutes and if we see her cry we will hurt you." Taehyun a little intimidated just nods his head as they lead him to her room.

"I'm so sorry. please come back with me." Taehyun pleads the girl.

Y/n struggling to pull herself together seeing him in this state but she has to stay strong and not give in.

"Tae we were over the moment you changed. I waited every night while you were having fun doing God knows what. I didn't mind it until you came home with a hickey. How could you do that to me. you were the love of my life." Y/n breaks down while telling Taehyun it's over.

"I love you but I have to learn how to live without you again. You aren't the same person I fell in love with. You aren't my taehyun anymore."

Every sentence she spoke was like knives going into both of their chests. "you were the love of my life" he knew he wasn't going to get his girl back. They say their goodbyes towards each other and Taehyun leaves. Y/n cries to her brothers as they comfort her telling her it will all be okay soon.

"It's going to be okay y/nnie." Soobin comforts his youngest sibling.

"He was the love of my life." Y/n through her tears she manages to mutter these words out.

"He's the loss of my life."

That marked their entire life together officially over.

彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡彡

(next one will be happy i promise.)

loml by taylor been on repeat

TAGLIST: @mym1na

[maddiebuckettebuckley]

casual (is it casual now?)

eddie/tommy angst | 1.1k words | read on ao3

summary: literally just the bucktommy kiss if it had been eddie instead, because lou said it was almost eddie and the show said eddie catholic guilt real and I said oh bet?

Eddie slides Tommy a beer across the table and cracks one open for himself. Despite still feeling the burn of the whiskey from the karaoke bar in his stomach, he takes a swig. “Man, I have to remember to invite Buck next week. You wouldn’t know it from looking at him, but he’s a big trivia buff.”

Tommy hums good-naturedly. “Maybe that way we’d actually break our ten-point record.” He grabs the beer and taps his fingers against the side without taking a drink. “Hey, what’s the deal with you two, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Eddie cocks his head slightly, not entirely understanding the question. “Me and Buck?”

“You talk about each other all the time, and your kid is obsessed with him. His name must have come up a dozen times the other day.”

Eddie shrugs. What is there to say about Buck? He’s Buck. He’s worked his way into every aspect of Eddie’s life, and somehow, unexpectedly, became Eddie’s favorite person in the world, after Chris. Not that he would ever tell him. His head’s big enough as it is.

“We’re like family, I guess. The whole 118 is more than a house. We’re all family.”

“Hah. I noticed.” Tommy’s voice is colored with something like bitterness. Not harsh, though. More… sad. Wistful, maybe. “Wasn’t like that when I was there.”

“Really? How so?” Without meaning to, Eddie inches closer.

Tommy lets out a puff of air and shakes his head slightly. “The whole… culture was different. Very macho. Regressive. Not that different from serving, honestly.”

That Eddie can understand. His team was close, but it was a completely different world than the 118. The jokes were sharper, aimed to hurt as often as not. The conversations shallower. Sometimes it almost felt like they didn’t want to get too close in case someone didn’t make it out. Maybe they had the right idea; he had almost died trying to get them all home. Not that he learns from his mistakes, since he knows from experience he’d stop at nothing to fight for any of his new family. It scares him if he lets it. How much he cares about all of them.

“I get it,” Eddie says, taking another swig of his beer. “You’d fit right in there now, though. The way you threw in with us in that storm.” He whistles. “Pretty fuckin’ cool.”

A small smile appears on Tommy’s face that Eddie finds difficult to read. Could be the whiskey. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

“You wouldn’t get sick of me, seeing me every day?” Tommy asks. He sets down his beer, still untouched, next to Eddie on the table, and Eddie suddenly becomes aware that he’s well within touching distance. He’d barely even have to reach out his hand.

“’Course not. Anyone would be an improvement over Buck.” Why did he say that? He doesn’t think that. But it makes Tommy laugh again. Which makes Eddie smile, even as his stomach turns from the casual cruelty of the joke.

“You’re pretty cool yourself, you know.” The calm intensity of Tommy’s eye contact is setting off alarm bells in the back of Eddie’s mind. He tries to ignore them, because something about it feels nice, like the gaze itself is casting a warm glow over him.

“Oh, am I?” Eddie replies, raising an eyebrow.

“In my book, at least. Whatever that counts for.” Impossibly, Tommy has gotten even closer, so that there’s almost no space between them at all. The alarm bells get louder, more intense, and Eddie can feel his heartbeat throughout his body.

“Definitely counts for something.” Eddie’s words come out quiet. He kind of can’t breathe.

But he doesn’t back away. He doesn’t break eye contact. Even when Tommy closes the distance completely, when his hand is under Eddie’s chin pulling it ever so slightly upwards so that their mouths meet.

Eddie’s swept away in it. The warmth, the strength of his hand, the hint of vanilla vodka still on his lips. It all makes him dizzy, twists up his head so he forgets, well, everything. Just for a moment. And he leans into the kiss until their bodies are pressed flush against each other and his hand finds its way into Tommy’s hair and—

“Shit.” Eddie pulls away abruptly, breathless. The man — the man — in front of him stares back. Kindly, questioning. And they’re the only two people in the room, but Eddie has never been more sure he’s being watched. Panic starts to migrate from the tips of his fingers wrapped in Tommy’s T-shirt and hair, all the way up into Eddie’s chest and settles there. He takes one step back, then another. The look on Tommy’s face as he does is unbearable, so he turns away, balling his hands into fists that will leave purple crescents in his palms. “I’m not… I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

“It’s actually getting pretty serious. We’re moving in together soon.” Eddie winces at the lie. He hasn’t even asked her yet.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” A gentle hand on his shoulder tells him that Tommy’s stepped closer. Instinctively, Eddie shrugs it off. And instantly feels sick.

Don’t be a fucking coward. Look him in the face, at least.

He turns to face Tommy, who looks — hurt. Worse, he looks like he’s trying not to look hurt. Eddie swallows, trying to keep down the panic as it crawls up his throat.

“Nah man, it’s on me. I shouldn’t have… I should’ve told you sooner.” Eddie scrubs a hand over his eyes. His skin itches like it’s covered with grime. His fingers twitch like they’re searching for rosary beads. “I think you should probably go. It’s getting late.”

Tommy nods, then opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something. Closes it again.

Eddie walks him to the door, trying to come up with any words that would make this less awful, but when he tries to think there’s only a dark static filling his head with noise.

With one foot outside, Tommy hesitates, lingering in the doorframe.

“Listen, Eddie. I really am sorry for the misunderstanding. But I hope you know that you can call me if you ever need to talk. I’ve been where—” He cuts himself off. Holds eye contact with Eddie for a moment. Sighs. “I’m still here for you, if you need anything.”

Eddie nods lamely. A part of him needs to delete Tommy’s number. A part of him wants to pull him back inside. He’s not even sure what for. “Thanks, Tommy.”

The door clicks shut with Tommy behind it and Eddie slides down the wood paneling to the floor, dropping his head between his knees as a heavy sob escapes his mouth.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Thpughts on the RLS!Siblings?? 👀

Mostly about how funny would be some interactions with RLS + ASL siblings bc y'know, lusan. Like, they doing a "family dinner" kinda thing, but with much much caos and Luffy loving his boyfriend :)

Also, I love your posts! Your Misora fic is amazing, I reread at least two chapters everyday 😭❤

Ah, I'm glad you liked NBL! Its definitely a rare pair I'll love until the end of time.

As for my thoughts on RSL with an ASL family dinner: you're right it would be chaotic. Sabo and Koala are visiting and checking in when the Heart Pirates show up so Luffy throws a party because it's two family reunions in one. So Law is putting up with Luffy's shenanigans as Robin is catching Sabo up on the fact she, Sanji, and Law are also siblings. Sanji is cooking for the feast as Ace is talking with Shachi and Penguin.

At some point Law manages to corral the five of them into the Tang for a more private conversation. So the six of them are in the mess hall of the Polar Tang to talk, mostly about how RSL became siblings. Luffy is sitting on Sanji much to Law and Sabo's annoyance, Ace is laughing as he sits next to Sanji who knows it's a losing battle on every end for him. Robin is giggling as she sits between Law and Sabo, Luffy immediately starts playing with Sanji's hands.

Law throws a room out but is promptly fended off by Robin's devil fruit and Sanji does kick Law in the shin.

Sabo threatens to remove the cook from life if he does anything to hurt Luffy. Sanji has questions about why Sabo phrased it like that because look at Sanji's brother and sister. Look at them Sabo.

Sanji's been threatened far worse for far less. And he says so. Do better Sabo.

Sabo is absolutely offended by Sanji's attitude towards his threat but Ace has absolutely lost it and Law has given up to join his sister and Luffy in giggling as the blonds stare down each other. If they thought they were going to have a serious discussion they were wrong. Sanji is just like "I'm the only person in the room without a devil fruit and I can still set myself on fire" which makes Sabo look at Luffy in disbelief and ask where he found him. A fish shaped floating restaurant in the East Blue is not an acceptable answer apparently.

Robin says that she and Law found Sanji in the North Blue before that. Law hums and says that maybe the North Blue was good for something, despite sending Sanji to the East Blue and Robin to the Grand Line and keeping him there but Robin points out he got to keep Bepo. Law says he lost all three of his families but at least he got the bear in the most sarcastic tone.

Luffy asks what he means so Law talks about Amber Lead and his home town, Rosinante who adopted him and then sacrificed himself for him, and then Sanji and Robin. The glare Robin and Sanji get is very familiar and Robin pats Law's shoulder and off handedly mentions the three buster calls she's survived and Sanji points out he and Luffy were there for two of them. Robin acknowledges that despite Law's very, very tired look.

"I stabbed myself in the face to prove to Shanks I was tough, but I was aiming for my eye." Luffy says as he plays with Sanji's fingers.

"How did he convince you to be with him?" Law asks Sanji with despair.

"He refused my refusal." Sanji deadpans.

"Have you tried killing him?" Ace asks. "That's what Sabo and I used to do before we gave in."

"I tried killing myself." Sanji shrugs as Luffy immediately pinches his wrist in punishment for his phrasing making him hiss in pain.

"Yeah, you broke your back kicking me and Nami out of the way of an avalanche and I had to dig you out." Luffy grumbles.

"That's on you Captain, you could have left him there." Robin smiles.

"I would have." Law agrees before he looks at Sanji. "You broke your back?"

"Mhm, fought the next day." Sanji answers as everyone stares at him except Luffy. "Thanks for saving my boyfriend and his brother by the way." Sanji waves of the looks easily.

"Yeah, no problem. Figured you had all died and he didn't need that too." Law nods.

"Our apologies." Robin says.

"None of you guys are allowed to die." Luffy orders them all. They all agree easily.

[foolishlovers]

Cuz you're doing recs can I ask your favorite explicit non-AU fics? If this is weird, just ignore it please. also sorry if its weird.

that's alright, i don't mind recommending some!!

Just a Taste by summerofspock (3k) See, it wasn’t so much the eating. It was the noises. It was the indecent look on Aziraphale’s face. It was the way he licked his fingers and wiggled in his seat. Every little action felt specially created to undo Crowley. And Aziraphale had no idea.

Anywhere You Want to Go by Aria (9k) Aziraphale knew Crowley liked him. He'd known it with a horrible clarity since around 1100, which was at least a thousand years after the first time he'd thought of kissing Crowley, and some eight hundred and odd before it occurred to him that the specific quality of Crowley's regard could be very dangerous for both of them, if they actually admitted their feelings aloud. It was also two weeks since any of that had mattered at all anymore.

Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons (14k) Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it's always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why. Crowley planned on keeping it that way, but best laid plans…

The road to rapture has a lot of pit stops by emmagrant01 (17k) Five times they kissed over four thousand years, and one time they actually meant it.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (17k) "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.  "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."  AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Faking It by bisasterdi (28k) In the immediate aftermath of the Nope-Let's-Notpocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale tentatively begin to move on, hoping Heaven and Hell will leave them alone in the wake of both of their failed trials. Of course, nothing could possibly be that simple. It isn't that Gabriel or Beelzebub have actually figured out how the trials were subverted…but boy, do they THINK they have it figured out. Thankfully, it won't take much to keep them in the dark. (Crowley and Aziraphale just have to spend eternity together, pretending to be in love with each other. All Crowley needs to do is make sure Aziraphale never finds out that everything he's saying and doing is true.)

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

The Sandford Flower Show by Mussimm (46k) Crowley had waited six thousand years, kept it all in check. But this was the slipperiest slope he’d ever set foot on and as soon as he’d indulged in a few discretionary acts of kindness he was falling face first into pining, tumbling into flirting, about to dislocate his knees on the sharp rocks of intimacy. Was this really it? What he had waited six thousand years for? A stupid flower show? Aziraphale wasn’t pulling away from him. Maybe… maybe this time he wouldn’t? Maybe they’d hold hands again. Maybe tonight with a bottle of merlot in them he’d finally work up the courage and just kiss him and he wouldn’t pull away. The very moment he’d thought it he spotted the problem at the flower show.

Flowers From The Grave Of Our Friendship by WaitingToBeBroken (50k) Crowley is very good at temptation, not so good with what comes afterwards. Aziraphale knows demons don't love so he is happy to take anything Crowley would give him. Both of them are too blind to realize the thing they want is right in front of them.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (79k) After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

[tsukikoayanosuke]

Kero, Kero, Ganbatte, Tsukasa-kun! - Ruikasa Week 2024

Day 2: First Date

(ft. Sanrio collab & mentioned of Zozotown 1)

Today Tenma Tsukasa was in panic.

Shocking truly. To think that the great Tenma Tsukasa, future star, partner of Keroppi, and owner of the Rainy Frog Cafe, managed to get himself in such peril was something out of this world. 

And what is this so-called 'peril' you might ask?

This answer was straightforward really: he has a date in just fifteen minutes with one Kamishiro Rui.

Keroppi didn't really understand it at first. He had seen Tsukasa and Rui hanging around together. Ever since Rui and Hangyodon finally moved into the lighthouse by the coast, he has been visiting the cafe for breakfast and lunch. To say Tsukasa and Rui connect right off the bat was an understatement. It was as if they were always friends since tadpoles.

"They're great together, aren't they?" Hangyodon said before slurping the noodles he ordered.

Keroppi turned to him. "They are good friend."

Hangyodon shook his head. "More."

"More?"

"More."

Keroppi looked back at Rui and Tsukasa. Rui had his telescope in his hand and he chattered animatedly about the recent marine life he came up during his daily sail. Tsukasa meanwhile didn't say anything only listening with an elbow on his counter and chin on his palm, staring at Rui with a familiar gentle gaze. Keroppi only had seen that gentleness aimed toward his siblings, Saki and Touya. But…

Keroppi squinted.

Now that he looked closer…it wasn't the same. 

There’s adoration. Longings.

Love.

"Oh."

"Yep. Oh." Hangyodon spoke like he had realized it a long time ago. He did mention that Rui often made silly faces when rambling about Tsukasa, so it wouldn't be a surprise to him. Tsukasa also often talks about Rui, but Keroppi always thought it was about friendship. He kinda felt bad for not realizing it sooner.

That was why a few days later he decided to do a good deed for the both of them.

"You two should go out on a date sometimes." It was just a simple sentence, but it managed to make Rui spit his milkshake like they were in a cartoon.

"Keroppi!" Tsukasa yelled, high-pitched. More embarrassed than angry. "Where did that come from?!"

"You like each other, right?" Rui coughed. Tsukasa squeaked. Hangyodon nodded in agreement. "So, you should date at least once."

"You can't just say that!" Tsukasa pulled and squeezed his cheeks.

"I..." Rui cleared his throat. "I don't mind."

"E-Eh?" Tsukasa turned to him. "Y-You don't?"

Rui let out a flustered chuckle. "I would love to go on a date with Tsukasa."

"A--a-a-a-a-ahhhh ha ha HA HA HAHAHA" Tsukasa's cheeks were still bright red, but he managed to put his hands on his hips in an attempt to pull his usual pose. "Alright then!" He pointed at Rui. "Be prepared for the most exciting d-date in your life, Rui!"

Rui giggled. "I can't wait."

Which brought us to today with Tsukasa working his way to burn the carpet below him with his back and forth.

"You'll be fine, Tsukasa!" Keroppi said from his nightstand. "Rui would never be mad at you."

"But it has to be perfect, Keroppi!" Tsukasa yelled, more to himself than to his frog partner. His pacing somehow became even faster. "What if I screw up? What if Rui became so embarrassed that he didn't want to go out with me anymore? What if other people see us and laugh and then Rui doesn't want to go out with me anymore? What if I say something bad? What if I hurt his feelings? What if he enjoys none of this? What if-"

"Tsukasa!" Keroppi leaped and landed on Tsukasa's head, forcing him to stop.

He leaned down and stared at his human straight in the eyes despite being upside down. "You'll be fine. The fact that you're worrying means that you really care about Rui. There's no way Rui would leave you if this something turns bad, just like how I know you won't leave Rui."

Tsukasa went silent for a few seconds before sighing. "I just... I just want him to be happy with me."

"And he will." Keroppi patted Tsukasa's forehead. "Rui cares about you. Hangyodon told me so."

"He does?"

"Really, really does."

Tsukasa sighed and smiled. "Thanks, Keroppi." Which he answered with a double nod. "Okay..." Tsukasa slapped his cheeks twice, wincing at how hard he accidentally hit before shaking his head. "Okay. Keroppi, roll check!"

"Yes, Sir!" The frog leaped toward the desk where the long list had been placed. He picked up a pen. "Flower?"

"Check!" Tsukasa picked up the bouquet of vervain, masterworks, and hypericum erectum.

"Ticket to the movie?" 

"Check!" Tsukasa took out two tickets from his pocket and put it back.

"Hair and glasses?"

Tsukasa hair was fluffier. He usually uses gel to straighten up, but Rui requested not to use it for today to 'see Tsukasa-kun's authentic self'. The same goes with the contact lenses, instead preferring to the glasses. "Check! And check!"

"Coat?"

Tsukasa pulled out a coat and with a twirl, he put it on. "Check!"

"You're all set!" Keroppi then leaped into Tsukasa's coat pocket for one last look at the mirror: white collared top underneath a brown vest coat, along with the checkered outer coat, green pants, and white shoes. It wasn't like anything Tsukasa would wear, more mellow and elegant than his eccentric waiter uniform.

Tsukasa fixed his hair once again, mostly to calm himself before taking a deep breath. "Alright. I'm ready."

"You can do it!" Keroppi cheered, hands in the air. 

Tsukasa giggled and patted his partner. As he looked at the clock, his eyes widened. "Crap! We're going to be late!"

It was still 30 minutes away from the agreed-upon time, but Keroppi would let it slide.

*****

Tsukasa and Rui agreed to meet up by the fountain at the town square. Rui had arrived, already sitting on the edge with Hangyodon on his knees. Keroppi could see the fish creature reach his hand to pat Rui's cheeks, a gesture of reassurance. Rui let out a chuckle but his foot didn't stop tapping. Could it be that Rui was nervous as well? Huh. Curious.

"Rui!" Tsukasa shouted as he ran toward him. In response, Rui immediately stood up as Hangyodon leaped into his satchel. There was a blush on Rui's cheek and a wobbly smile from nervousness.

"You came, Tsukasa-kun." Like Tsukasa, Rui was dressing fancy: a green jacket over a brown top and red tie, brown pants, and shoes.

"Of course, I came! There's no way I'm breaking my own words!" Tsukasa grinned. Keroppi tapped Tsukasa's, a signal. "O-Oh." And the shyness returned as Tsukasa offered his bouquet. "For you..."

"O-Oh..." Rui took the flower, blush became more apparent. "My favorites."

"Of course they are." Tsukasa cleared his throat. "So. Are you ready to go?" And Rui nodded in response.

Nobody was really talking during the walk which was strange in Keroppi's opinion. The two were the 'weirdo combo' of the town, yet here they are, not 'weird'-ing out. It seemed like Hangyodon also noticed this as he tapped Rui's hand. When the purplenette noticed him, Hangyodon tapped his fins together. Rui blinked, glanced at Tsukasa, then back at Hangyodon with a blush. Hangyodon tapped Rui's hand again as if pushing it to touch Tsukasa's. Rui mouthed, "I know, I know!" before looking back at Tsukasa who was ignorant of his turmoil.

"T-Tsukasa-kun."

Tsukasa turned back to him. "Yeah?"

"Umm..." Rui averted his gaze. Then he reached for Tsukasa's hand, shyly holding it.

Tsukasa was blushing but he squeezed his hand back.

Both of them had the funny smile on their face, but Keroppi and Hangyodon knew they would be fine.

[highqueenofelfhame]

a/n: my god, i have been working on this literally for a year. or, at least sitting on it since all too well tmv came out. as soon as i heard it, i knew i wanted to turn my two illicit affairs drabbles into a full story that has been dancing in the forefront of my mind since my first listen. this is the illicit affairs story. it was initially meant to be a oneshot, but it's getting so long i've been advised to split it up into parts. this is part one. i hope you enjoy. please please please reblog this so others can see it. i've been working so goddamn hard on it and if it flops i will be so sad lol. ok ok ok enough from me, on with the show.

rowaelin // 14,994 words // all too well playlist // masterlist

The buzzing of voices filled the bar like a large swarm of bumblebees occupying the space. Friday nights tended to be rather crowded and full of an eclectic group of people that fought over the old jukebox in the back corner of the main room. The patrons ranged from college students to working professionals, all of them sipping their preferred poison while swapping stories of their days and sharing the gossip of the moment. A few swayed to the music on the tiny dance floor, laughing with friends and speaking loud enough to be heard over the crowded din.

Neon lights cast nearly ominous glows over every surface. It would have a much colder vibe if it weren’t for the warmth of the Edison bulbs dangling from the ceiling. In the end it created a lovely atmosphere to decompress after a long week, and that was precisely why the Staghorn was so cherished amongst the locals. It looked more like a dive bar on the outside, but the inside was well cared for and loved by everyone who lived in Orynth. It was usually tourist-free, and while most of the older crowd would prefer if the rowdy college students would choose somewhere else to gather, no one really complained about the company they might find sandwiched in its walls.

It was the week of Samhuinn, and there was no shortage of students running around campus in elaborate or silly costumes. In the back room that housed the pool table and dartboards, Aelin Galathynius was perched on a bar stool with a cocktail straw pinched between her teeth while her best friend gave her a rundown of the fashion crimes committed this week on campus. Her nose was still burning from the stream of gin that had come out of it when Lysandra went into painstakingly accurate detail of the too-small dinosaur onesie she had seen trekking across the courtyard Wednesday morning.

It was her brother’s turn with the darts, and, despite giggling her way through Lysandra’s story, Aelin’s eyes were razor focused on if Aedion’s aim would stay true or land slightly to the left like it often did. He was her true competitor in the game they were playing, and nobody else ever came close despite the full roster of names on the scoreboard below theirs.

Each Friday was essentially a night full of wagers amongst their friends for which of them would come out on top. Several regulars usually watched the two take their turns, the blunted edge of the dart finding its home in or very close to the bullseye with every throw. Aedion and Aelin held the top two spots, though a third had appeared a few days ago that was dangerously close to knocking Aedion out of his second-place spot. Tiny tally marks noted who had won how many games in any available space between letters, and numbers indicated their highest scores. While her brother boasted the most wins, Aelin was more than proud to gush about having the highest score. It drove Aedion to near madness, made even worse by Aelin creeping up to steal the victory of most games won by him, too. 

Seldom were other names present on their chalkboard, but a few had managed to take a permanent spot with them in the last few weeks. She knew that if Aedion lost that second-place spot, all hell would break loose, and the will to keep competing against his sister would go down the toilet while he sulked into a pitcher of beer for an evening. 

Ace Ashryver Bitchthorn Salvaterre Fen

That was the list of names shaded in red from the sign above, Bitchthorn, making her laugh the most, considering she was pretty sure it had said Whitethorn at one point or another. 

“Fuck,” Aedion groaned, stalking to retrieve his darts almost before Aelin even had time to process what a shitty throw he’d made. 

“Are you even trying?” Aelin placed her drink on the table beside her, ice clinking melodically in the glass. “At this rate, whoever Bitchthorn is will take your second-place ranking, and you’ll be down to third place. How does that feel, big brother?”

“For that comment, I am only claiming you as a cousin.”

“I’m going to tell mom that you said that,” she teased while snagging her own darts from their placeholders on the wall. She wouldn’t; they both knew that. When Aedion’s mother died in childbirth, and his father died when he was three while on a deployment in the Wastes, it had stayed a sore subject for just about everyone. There were times when they could joke about it and times they couldn’t. They never could to her mother. It made her feel like she’d failed her sister, Aerin, and the nephew-turned-son left to her charge.

“In that case, I hope Bitchthorn destroys us both because your ego clearly needs to be knocked down a couple of notches.”

Aelin was grinning widely at the taunts, standing with the tips of her toes just kissing the line from where she was meant to throw. She took her stance, legs shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent, shoulders and arms loose and ready to fire. The dart was evenly weighted and cool between her fingertips as she rolled it back and forth, slowing her thoughts until the voices and music became nothing more than a dull buzz in her ears. Despite the alcohol coursing through her system, she only saw the red circle in the center of the board. Aelin threw the dart on an exhale, and it found its mark dead-center. The second dart notched just below the first but still inside the bullseye. 

Just as she released the third, a hard body knocked into her and completely threw off her aim. Aedion howled as the dart embedded itself in the wall above the target while Aelin whipped around to scowl at the hulking brute that ruined her game. She was still leading on Aedion, but now he had more of a chance at redemption. She hadn’t even come close to hitting the board because of him.

This time, the muffled sounds of the bar had little to do with concentration and everything to do with anger. Much of it dissipated when she took in the face of the man whose hands were heavy on her shoulders to steady her from falling over. Gods above, he was beautiful.

“Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly, tucking a piece of golden hair behind his ear. His other hand dropped from her shoulder.

“Don’t be. I might actually get to win now,” Aedion shouted, his low chuckles still shaking his body. Lysandra backhanded his shoulder.

“She gets to throw again. That was interference.” Aelin turned toward the voice that said it, thankful that someone was going to be on her side. Her defense was the kind of man that she drooled over. Well over six feet tall and tattooed, he had one hand in his pocket while the other held a glass tumbler of something dark. Aelin guessed whiskey– it seemed to fit the bill based on appearance alone.  If his rolling, lilting accent hadn’t done it for her, everything else about him really, really did. 

Sure, the guy that had ruined her shot was easily the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life, but the one leaning against the table with piercing green eyes that she didn’t want to look away from was something… else. Golden boy was too perfect, whereas this one was more rugged. Chiseled by the gods, specifically chosen to drive her personally insane. The idea that she had ever thought she preferred men with brown hair seemed so unbelievably stupid as she stared at the man with silver hair and a smirk on his face. He had a  single dimple on his cheek that seemed to be directed at her. 

The returning smile she gave him was almost involuntary.

“I agree with Santa over here. It was definitely interference, and I get to throw again.” Aedion didn’t have anything to say to that but a low string of grumbled curses. It made Aelin’s grin widen while she retrieved her dart. 

When she made eye contact with her personal savior, his brow quirked as if to say, Santa? Aelin simply shrugged as she took her stance back up, blocked out the new distraction behind her, and let the dart fly free.

Three bullseyes, her highest score yet. Now she just needed to try for a fourth of a different kind.

~*~

Despite how much Aelin didn’t care about Rowan being a gentleman, he was nothing short of one on their first date. They had just gone out for coffee, returning to his apartment soon after to continue their conversation. Neither of them had wanted to say goodbye even though the pair had sat in the coffee shop for four hours until they began to close down. So they had traded uncomfortable wooden chairs for Rowan’s oversized and extremely comfortable couch. The coffee turned to wine, Rowan at some point deciding to make them both dinner. Before either of them knew it, it was well past midnight and Aelin said she should probably get going. 

She would have let him take her to his bedroom and ravage her wholly after the last several hours. It had been an achingly long time since she had found someone that she felt she could tell anything and everything to. Their conversation flowed so easily with no judgment coming from either side. Maybe the bar was on the floor in that aspect, but it had been rare that she found a partner so willing to accept her as she was. The need to pretend wasn’t weighing her down. She felt she could just… be. 

Being early November, the air was sharp and cool. It had been two weeks since their first date and autumn leaves twirled toward the ground, crinkling and crunching beneath her boots. Every breath she took was crisp and rejuvenating. She loved this time of year; loved the sights and sounds and the energy that buzzed around her. The holidays were just around the corner, and she couldn’t be more excited for the coming weeks with her friends. 

A warm and calloused hand caught hers, long fingers lacing with her own. Aelin looked over at Rowan, who wore a slight smile on his lips while they walked down the street toward his apartment. It had been two weeks since she had first met him at the bar and discovered that he was Bitchthorn in the flesh. His last name was really Whitethorn, but in a tantrum after being defeated, his friend Lorcan changed his name on the board. Aelin wasn’t a huge fan of Lorcan, but the story still made her snort when she thought about it. 

“You’re staring,” Rowan said flatly, eyes shifting from the path ahead to meet her gaze. Aelin shrugged, tugging her hand free and leaning into his side as they walked. A content hum rose in her throat, something akin to a purr, when he draped his arm around her shoulder. She couldn’t help but inhale deeply, savoring the pine scent that always lingered on his skin and clothes. There was no way in hell that she would ever tell him, but she switched up her laundry detergent for the first time in years because she wanted to smell like him all the time and not just after she had been tangled up in his sheets.

It was only the third date they had been on, but she was struggling to imagine what her future would look like without him in it. Her stomach lurched, and her fingers twisted his shirt into her fist. There was only one other person she had felt like this with, yet her feelings for Rowan struck her harder and deeper than she’d ever felt with Sam. They weren’t exclusive, hadn’t even discussed what they were to the other yet, and Aelin’s mind was running wild with visions of what the years to come with Rowan would look like. For all she knew, this was just a fling for him. 

She tried not to think about it.

It was easy not to when he peeled her jeans from her legs and tossed them into the corner of his room. Their kisses had quickly become frenzied, neither of them taking the time to even remove her shirt. Nothing but pleasure crossed her mind, save for his name as he moved over her, inside of her, pulling sighs and moans from her lips. His skin was marred with the shape of her mouth, red lipstick smudging down his abdomen and staining his white sheets. It certainly didn’t feel like a fling when she was on top of him with his fingers fisting her hair; foreheads pressed together as they tumbled over the edge together and he finished buried deep inside her. 

After he cleaned her up, Rowan settled in bed beside her with a steaming mug of hot cocoa for her to sip, and it was bliss. As her head nestled into the soft spot between his neck and shoulder, the cup to her lips, Rowan said, “I want to know everything about you.”

“Like what?”

“Everything,” he repeated, tightening his grip around her body for emphasis.

“That’s a lot of ground to cover,” she joked, a comfortable silence settled over the pair while she enjoyed the drink he’d made her. After a few minutes, she held out the cup containing the last sip of sweet warmth she had saved for him. Despite telling her last week that he wasn’t big on sweets, he finished it and placed the mug on the nightstand beside him. “That goes both ways. I don’t even know what you do for a living.”

“I’m a professor. I’ll start teaching at the university next semester.” Aelin knew he was older than her. Ten years to be exact. But she’d never thought of him as old enough to be her professor. 

Doing her best not to tense up, she traced her finger over the edge of the tattoo on his ribcage. The university, he’d said casually. Her eyes closed as she swallowed despite her mouth having gone dry. 

“Like UT?” The University of Terrasen, where she was starting in January as a graduate student going for her master’s in art history. Ice cold flames had quickly licked up and down her body, leaving her trying to be casual as she wiped her hands against the sheets. 

“One and the same,” he confirmed. She felt him nod with the words, and she made her own head bob up and down. “What do you do for work?”

“I work at an art gallery downtown, but I really want to get a job at the art museum when…” she almost said when she graduated, but she stopped herself. Physically biting her tongue, she paused for a moment before carefully finishing, “ – when the time is right. What is it that you teach?”

She hoped it was anything but art, but her heart plummeted through the floor when he answered, “Wendlyn art and architecture history. The current professor retires at the end of the semester, and I had glowing recommendations from Wendlyn. Helps that I’m a native.”

“You’re about to become the wet dream of so many young students,” she joked, having to peel her dry tongue from the roof of her mouth to answer.

“I’m about to become very hated by so many young students,” he amended, a low chuckle sending shivers down her spine. “I’ve been called, multiple times, a ‘stupid asshole’ for how hard I grade assignments. I tend to be unforgiving.”

“I’m most thankful to my hardest teachers and professors. I still hate them, don’t get me wrong.” They shared a laugh before she continued, “But not having them go easy on me helped me learn that not everything is meant to come easy. You have to work hard to get what you want. If you get it all handed to you, you don’t deserve it half as much as someone that worked their ass off for it. And it’s not as rewarding to have things handed to you. I would know.”

“Know how?”

“I grew up getting things just because my parents are who they are. My dad founded and is CEO of one of the biggest tech companies in the world.” She could see the gears turning in his mind, trying to connect the dots of whose daughter she might be.. Except she had told him that her last name was Ashryver, commonly using it for school and work to avoid people crawling up her ass to get a recommendation from her father. Sometimes they wanted to pitch ideas, other times it was clout they sought after for one reason or another. “Galathynius Tech.”

“You said your last name was–”

“Ashryver. It is, technically. My parents forewent a middle name and shoved both their names together. But I use my mom’s for most things because I’m constantly having to fight off people that want to use me as nothing more than a connection and it got tiring. I was over it by sixth grade.”

“I can’t say I blame you,” Rowan leaned over to press a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I have no interest in technology, so nothing to worry about from me. I wouldn’t have a cell phone if I didn’t absolutely have to.”

“That’s a very aging statement, professor,” she teased. Warmth bloomed in her belly, using the title shooting a thrill through her body. It was probably a little fucked up that she got immediately hot, some deeply hidden fantasy stirring in her mind. The bite Rowan’s mouth formed against her skin told her his mind had gone to the same place. 

“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.”

“Will you settle for something I just don’t talk about?” 

His lips were soft against her shoulder as he said, “Yes.”

It took her some time to be able to find the words. There were only a few people that truly knew what happened, and they only really knew because they’d been told by other people. To most, she was just in an accident. To others, they had more details. Outside of first responders, she hadn’t gone into detail about what happened. But with Rowan… for the first time since it happened, she wanted to.

“I was dating this guy named Sam. We were together for a little over a year and a half and on the weekend before my twenty-second birthday we’d been out drinking. Not Sam, he was the responsible one and he drove the two of us everywhere that I wanted to go. Up until we got into the car to go home it had been the most fun night. When I can separate what happened after with what happened before, it’s one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Just because it was all of my friends, all of us were drunk and so carefree and nothing mattered.”

Aelin paused, leaning forward to pull her shirt up to her shoulders, leaning forward so Rowan could see the scars down her back. There was a heavy, silent tension in the air as he ran his fingers over them so gently she felt her heart might break.

“On the way home, a drunk driver ran a red light and t-boned us on the driver's side. We started flipping, and because I’d been fussy and downright petulant about my seatbelt, I didn’t have it on properly. I was ejected on one of the rolls and slid down the road and earned a serious case of road rash. When I stopped, I hit my head so hard on a curb I couldn’t see straight for days. The only bit of peace I’ve ever been able to find was that they said Sam died on impact. I didn’t know he was dead and I started crawling toward the car, screaming for him. Glass and gravel was digging in my skin, I had cuts up and down my arms and legs and a huge gash on the side of my head. I don’t remember feeling any pain, though. I just remember crawling for him until I couldn’t move anymore. And then I woke up in the hospital.” 

She shrugged at the end of her story, fingers picking at a loose piece of string on the blanket that covered her legs. Rowan’s fingers were heartbreakingly gentle against her back as he traced her scars, noting everywhere that gravel and glass had been embedded in her skin. With a shaky breath she added, “The survivor’s guilt ate me alive. Some days it still does.”

“When I was twenty-five, I lived with my girlfriend, Lyria,” Rowan said quietly, fingers still grazing her skin. “We used to go for runs every morning, but I’d been out late with everyone and didn’t want to go when she woke me up. So she went alone, which she’d done before so I wasn’t too worried about it. But the sun was barely out, and someone hit her with their fucking truck and left her there to bleed out on the side of the road. When they caught him, it was an older guy that swore up and down he didn’t see her. That he ran because he was just scared and confused.”

Aelin looked at him over her shoulder, extending her hand to take his. Rowan exhaled heavily, pulling her so she was snug in his arms with her head tucked beneath his chin as he quietly said, “She was pregnant. She hadn’t told me yet, but she was. I found out at the hospital.”

“So you understand,” she whispered against his chest, her lips nearly tracing the words against his skin. There would be no apologies to be mistaken for pity. They were just two souls laid bare for the other, confessing worst nightmares that had been made real. Two people that had suffered greatly but survived it and had managed to find each other. 

“And so do you.” 

Someone that could understand her ins and outs, that could understand her fears and worries. Maybe not exactly the same, but when people didn’t experience something the way the two of them had, there was no way to relate to it. Survivor’s guilt and the trauma of losing someone you loved was a difficult thing to match no matter how hard someone might try. 

Rowan, though… he could understand the way she felt. He could understand the anxiety and fear that crept into her bones in the middle of the night, whispering awful things in her ear to keep her awake. And this revelation made the earlier admission that he would be her professor, that their relationship now had an expiration date on it even harder to bear. 

But instead of admitting the truth then, she curled around his body and listened to the steady beat of his heart. She breathed in sync with him in long, slow intervals, hoping and praying to any god that would listen that maybe it wouldn’t have to crash and burn quite so soon.

~*~

Despite the anxious nerves that bubbled up in her body like a fresh glass of champagne, Aelin grinned widely while they drove up the winding mountainside. The windows of the rented SUV were rolled down despite the chill in the air, Aelin’s golden hair whipping around wildly while she wove her hand in and out of the wind. The fingers of her left hand were laced with Rowan’s on the center console. That little bit of contact alone seemed to warm her entire body.

Bright, unbridled laughter escaped her lips as Rowan began singing along to the song on the radio in a dramatic fashion. It was one from the eighties that she knew all the words to but couldn’t remember the title of to save her life, and soon their voices were twined together just like their fingers. 

It was beautiful up here. Aelin had always loved the mountains, loved the sights and smells of pine and cool air. The trees that weren’t green year-round were losing their leaves. The forest floor was red and gold, bare branches reaching for the sky high above her head. Beautiful was the only word for it; she thought to herself as the song changed to something more modern. 

Pulling her hand back into the car, she took to adjusting the green scarf around her neck. The closer they got to the little mountain town Rowan’s family lived in, the cooler it became. It took him no time to roll up the windows and adjust the heat as she pulled her scarf up to hide her icy, pink nose and cheeks. Despite getting colder, her heart and soul had never been warmer. 

“We’re almost there,” he promised, pulling around the bend and driving into the little town where Aelin was starting to see the beginnings down the road. 

“No complaints here.”

“You’re just nervous.” Teasing laughter pulled at the words, his hand sliding from hers down to her knee to squeeze. She swatted it away, looking at him like he’d said the most offensive thing she’d ever heard.

“I don’t get nervous!” She cried, the lie so blatant and obvious that they both started laughing. 

“You don’t lie either, I suppose.” Rowan’s eyes slid from the road over her face, a silver brow raised in question.

“Not once in my li– Rowan!” Her hands went to brace the dash as he slammed on the brakes, very nearly running the red light in the center of downtown. The man beside her was on the receiving end of glares from people out and about that Saturday afternoon, a few horns honking behind him as they, too, came quickly  to a halt to avoid ramming into him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Rowan swore, reaching over to brush a piece of her hair that had caught on her lip in the fiasco. Instead of answering, Aelin started laughing again. He soon joined in with her, the two fighting off tears as the light changed to green, and he started back down the street. “Don’t do or say anything else cute. You nearly caused a car accident and got me a ticket.”

“Sure, sure. It’s my fault that you can’t keep your eyes off me for more than two minutes at a time.”

“Entirely. If you looked like a troll, I wouldn’t have such a hard time.”

“And here I thought you liked me for my personality,” she scoffed. Rowan lifted her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her fingers, eyes staying glued to the street. 

“You are the single person put on this earth to drive me absolutely insane. The complete package wrapped with such a pretty bow.” Aelin’s cheeks warmed at his words, her smile softening as she leaned over to kiss his cheek despite how hard her seatbelt tried to keep her in her seat. 

It wasn’t long before they pulled into the driveway of a modest home nestled on a street a few blocks from downtown. After taking off her seatbelt, Aelin pulled down the mirror to fix her windswept hair, examining her face for the first time since leaving the airport bathroom. She went as far as to dig a small hairbrush out of her bag and detangle the golden strands, her nerves becoming more like a bottle of champagne ready to explode than a small, fizzy glass. 

“You look perfect,” Rowan told her, turning her face toward his with his fingertips so he could lean over and give her a sweet kiss. “They are going to love you.”

“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled, loosening her scarf a bit as she reached for the door handle. 

“Aelin. You have nothing to worry about. Nevermind that I haven’t brought anyone home to meet my mother since I was in college. You already have a high score for that alone.” Aelin couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled out of her or how his words seemed to ease the pressure in her chest. The statement even managed to wipe away any taste of jealousy of the other women Rowan had ever been with. 

Not that it bothered her– she was more worried about not having the same life and relationship experience that he did rather than the women he’d dated or slept with. Rowan was ten years her senior, thirty-four to her twenty-four. He didn’t quite know her exact age yet, either. Not that she was hiding it from him. He knew she was in her twenties, but she had skated around it the first few weeks of them hanging out, and it simply hadn’t come back up in the time since. 

Aelin inhaled deeply as she hopped out of the car, admiring the home as she shut the door behind her. Rowan pulled their duffel bags from the trunk, slinging them over one shoulder so he could offer her a hand to take. She did, gladly, following him up the steps and into the foyer of the house as he called out that they were home.

Home. It was exactly what this place felt like. Not home the same way her parent’s house was, but home in that it could be nothing else. It smelled like cinnamon, spice, and the fire that roared in the fireplace. Visions of Rowan young and playing video games on the dark green couch in the living room to their right took hold of Aelin’s mind. She could immediately see him crowding the kitchen island with his friends after a big sports game, the loud chatter of teenage boys filling the space. 

It had such a warm and welcoming air to it that it was easy to imagine holidays spent at the dining room table or Rowan and his parents sitting around a Yulemas tree exchanging gifts. As she took a deep breath, she could smell the makings of dinner from the kitchen just as a woman about Aelin’s height rounded a corner with an apron tied around her lean frame. 

“Oh, my goodness,” she said, bypassing her son entirely and coming to take both of Aelin’s hands in hers. Behind his mom, Rowan’s eyes softened while he winked at his new girlfriend. “Rowan, she is just beautiful. You didn’t do her justice.”

“I don’t think I could if I tried.” There was a gleam in his eye as he put their bags on the living room floor, with Aelin shaking her head like he was ridiculous. Because he was. 

“Hi, Mrs. Whitethorn. It’s lovely to finally meet you,” Aelin said, a grin on her lips. She would be lying to everyone if she said she hadn’t rehearsed that line an embarrassing amount of times in her head. 

“You will call me Ivy,” his mom said, dropping her hands to pull her into a warm embrace. Aelin returned the hug, thinking of how much it reminded her of the ones her own mother gave. “Your father is in the garage; go drag him inside. I have him pulling down the Yulemas decorations.”

“It isn’t even thanksgiving yet,” Rowan reminded her, shaking his head as she patted him on the cheek. Her hands dropped to her hips at the slight incredulity in his tone.

“Now, when has that ever stopped me?”

“It hasn’t,” he laughed, bending to press a kiss to her tanned skin. Rowan shrugged off his coat and hung it on a hook by the door before helping Aelin out of hers. She unwound the scarf from her neck and passed that off to him as well, watching as he situated them beside his before he kissed her forehead and vanished deeper into the house.

“Come, come. I’m working on dinner, but we’ll have some time to catch up without the men for a few minutes, at least. How was your flight?” 

“Pretty good, actually. My mom is from Varese, and we go there most summers, so it’s not a trip I’m unfamiliar with.” They weren’t in Varese, about an hour’s drive south in a small mountain town called Mistward that Aelin had heard of but never been to. So far, she was in love with it, much like her mother had promised when she first told her of the trip to meet his family.

It was probably a little too soon for the meeting, but Rowan wasn’t going to go home again until Yulemas, and that wasn’t a holiday Aelin was ready to spend away from her family just yet. Rowan had a few things he wanted for his new apartment from his parent's house. The trip had quickly become about her meeting his family, despite only having been seeing each other for a month at most. 

“You’re sure it’s not too soon for you to make a six-hour flight to meet your boyfriend’s parents?” He’d asked her one evening while they laid in a tangle of limbs on her couch.

“Oh, is that what you are? My boyfriend?” Aelin had tried to tease but was so thrilled about finally having a conversation about their relationship's status that they soon became a heap of tangled limbs and kisses.

Aelin lingered in the hall beside the kitchen while Rowan’s mother began asking her questions about her mother and the summers they spent in Wendlyn. Aelin’s replies came half distracted, her eyes caught on photos of Rowan’s life hanging on the walls. There were group photos of Rowan on his childhood and teenage sports teams, a photo of him in full football pads with his arms around the shoulders and waist of a boy and a girl that had matching silver hair, same as him. The one that almost elicited a giggle out of her was one of him as a boy with round, wire-framed glasses on his face and a wide, toothless grin to match.

“Darling, wasn’t he?” His mom asked, joining Aelin in the hall. “There’s plenty more where that came from, too.” 

“I need to see all of those.” 

“I’ll pull out the photo albums in the morning,” Ivy said with a wink, the two women heading back toward the kitchen. Aelin was hovering by the barstools by the island as the door to what she could only assume to be the garage opened, and Rowan walked back in. He was tailed by the vision of how Aelin imagined he would look in thirty years' time. An older, nearly as handsome man with the same silver hair. 

“You must be Aelin,” his father said, approaching her. He was every bit as tall as his son, and she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. Aelin started to hold her hand out for him to shake when he laughed warmly and pulled her in for a hug. The severity of his face had made her think that perhaps he was more formal, but no. Matthias Whitethorn seemed every bit as soft and loving as his wife. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Rowan’s been going on and on about you the last month.” Ivy gushed, reaching out to squeeze her hands. Aelin’s heart swelled at how sweet the gesture was. 

“Has he, now?” She looked to her boyfriend, who gently guided her to sit on a stool while he made his way to the coffee pot to make them both a cup. Settled with one leg crossed over the other, she propped her chin in her hand and gave his parents her full attention. The beginning of the conversation with his dad started out much like with his mom– he asked if the flight had been alright for her and took interest when she mentioned her mother being from Wendlyn as well. His parents volleyed questions back and forth, Aelin answering them all as Rowan placed a mug in front of her. Full of cream and sugar, just how she liked it. It earned him a smile, and a mouthed thank you between answers. 

Dinner went off without a hitch, Ivy and Matthias sharing stories of Rowan as a child that had his cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. Aelin hadn’t laughed so much in a long time, learning about the silly things he’d said and done from the time he was in diapers. His father proudly showed her photos from his high school and college graduations, which turned the question onto her own education. Aelin licked her lips anxiously as she sat back in her seat, finding Rowan’s hand beneath the table.

“I graduated high school in Orynth, and I’ve never wanted to leave Terrasen for longer than a single adventure would take. So I went to the University of Terrasen in Orynth. Once I graduated with my bachelor’s in art history, I took a little over a year off to travel and see art all over the world. My parents have a lot of connections, so I met with some of the greatest living art historians in the world. And then I went back for my master’s.” 

It wasn’t a total lie. Not really. She did return to Orynth for her master’s– she just hadn’t started yet. She would begin in January, the same semester Rowan was due to begin teaching. A teensy fact that Rowan didn’t quite know yet. 

“Just like our Rowan. No wonder you’ve hit it off so well.” Ivy paused with a smile that Aelin had to force back onto her lips, “What do you do with those fancy degrees of yours?” His mother asked, finishing her last bite of dessert. Aelin paused to sip her water, trying to gather her answer in her head before she said it out loud. 

“Right now, I work at an art gallery, but I want to work in museums. I’ll have to start at the bottom of the food chain, but I’m excited to start that part of my career. I’ll start sending out applications soon.” Aelin was starting to feel uncomfortable with how easy she was at giving half-truths and saving the whole of it for herself. She would begin sending out applications– but for internships until she finished up her degree in two years.  

That response earned her a whole slew of new questions about art, what she loved about it, why she felt it was necessary. His parents really took the time to get to know her, whereas her last boyfriend’s family couldn’t have cared less about anything she did. To be fair, Chaol really only liked her as a trophy. As soon as the honeymoon phase died down and she started pushing back, he bailed. She still thanked the gods for that– she was so much better for it. 

Still, having Rowan’s mom and dad’s undivided attention was new for her, and it was nice to say the least. They weren’t measuring her up to someone else, they didn’t criticize her career path no matter how rocky it could start out. The pair took the time to really understand where she was coming from and listened while she rambled through their last glasses of wine and while they cleaned the kitchen. Matthias would point out when she had thoughts that lined up with something Rowan had told him years ago, and Ivy loved how passionate she was about conserving art for future generations to enjoy. It was strange, how much she felt like she belonged here despite having met them mere hours ago. 

She had to push that sinking feeling into a locked room deep inside her chest.

Soon after cleaning up for dinner, Aelin, Rowan, and his father were seated around the living room watching television when his mother dropped a stack of books on the coffee table. Ivy and Aelin shared a conspiratorial grin at the same time her boyfriend let out a low, displeased groan. The two women laughed as Aelin lowered herself to the floor, reaching for the book on top. It was made of stained, worn ivory fabric with edges covered in frilly lace. Aelin remembered Aedion’s baby book looking similar to this; her own had been pale pink but felt more like an actual book. 

She flipped to the first page and saw Rowan’s full name– Rowan Matthias Whitethorn– his date of birth, his weight in pounds and ounces, and finally, his length in inches. Her fingers traced over the handwritten letters, pausing on the inked imprint of his bare baby feet near the bottom. The smile that appeared on her face was involuntary, and she spared him a look over his shoulder. The always stoic man she was quickly falling for had a flush from his neck up to the very tips of his ears. Choking back the laugh she desperately wanted to let loose, she reached behind and squeezed his knee. 

“I am so excited about this.” Her voice was little more than a whisper and directed at Ivy, yet Rowan heard anyway, reaching out to tug on the ends of her hair. It was enough to get the laughter rushing out of her. Anything to make this man squirm was an excellent use of time in her eyes. 

She wasn’t sure just how long they sat around the coffee table, Aelin flipping through every single page of the books while he and his parents offered stories and anecdotes of his life. There was even a high school yearbook that, according to Rowan, was the most mortifying of it all. He had been crowned prom king his senior year, but not because of popularity. His group of friends had badgered nearly everyone in the school into voting for him simply because they knew he would hate it. Rowan wasn’t big on attention; he didn’t even really celebrate his birthday for that very reason. In the photos of him dancing with the prom queen, his girlfriend at the time, the poor buzzard looked absolutely miserable. 

Despite his embarrassment, Aelin loved hearing about his early life. Ivy made her laugh so hard that water nearly came out of her nose when she went on and on about just how hopeless he was with girls growing up. Something that he, apparently, hadn’t grown out of until he was in his third year of college. There were so many stories about failed dates, about his inability to express his emotions, about the poems he’d tried to write for pretty girls in middle school. He was no good at any of it, Rowan snatching an example from his mother’s hands before Aelin had the chance to read it. He’d ripped it up so quickly that tears of laughter had streamed down her face at the dramatics. It must have been truly terrible, then.

She was sitting with her back against the couch, head turned to look at Rowan and leaning against his legs for extra warmth when he began telling one of her favorite stories of the night. While he spun the tale, he dropped a blanket around her shoulders that she was quick to bundle her hands in while she listened eagerly.

“We hopped the fence, both of us running for the other side of the practice field that we could jump another fence to and make it out onto the street and off of school property,” Rowan was saying, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “Later, we discovered that Vaughan had jumped into a dumpster to wait it out. Lorcan and Connall escaped because the cop chasing them was more out of shape. But there were, like, ten of them. We didn’t know where they were at any given moment. And by the time Fen and I started across the field, two of them were running at us from where we were headed. There was no time to stop or change course because there was nowhere to go.”

“So what did you do?”

“Fen was carrying the bag, right? Had it thrown over his shoulder. It was just a plain duffel bag, stuffed to the brim with mostly toilet paper and silly string. We weren’t trying to do anything totally illegal. But we did change the locks to all the gates–”

“Thanks to the keys he stole from me,” Matthias grumbled, but there was amusement in his eyes. Aelin doubted it had been all that funny when it happened, but now, so many years later, it seemed they could laugh about it. 

“Right,” Rowan confirmed, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “So we’re running across the field, two cops are coming at us from the other side. We knew we were screwed, so I grabbed Fen’s arm, we both stopped, and I immediately raised my hands in the air. They had their guns drawn because we were trespassing and running from the police. We had a bag that they didn’t know the contents of. The five of us were all well over six feet and causing trouble. So my hands are in the air, Fen is holding onto this bag like he’s scared of them taking it, which is fucking hilarious considering there was nothing too damning in it.

“The cops start yelling what’s in the bag! Just over and over. Fenrys is shaking, fumbling to unzip the bag, which was just stupid, so I yanked it off his shoulder, threw it on the ground and as one of the cops reached down to unzip it, Fen just cries out It’s just toilet paper, sir!  The man had tears in his eyes. I get that in the moment, it was scary, but none of the rest of us reacted the way he did. Just crumbled immediately under pressure.” 

At that, Aelin’s laughter began anew. She remembered meeting Fenrys that first night she’d met Rowan. The impossibly beautiful man with the first face and a dark twin to match. The idea of someone with so much confidence crumbling under pressure had her cackling wildly. 

“The two of us got arrested for trespassing, dad bailed us out, and to this day, we tease him relentlessly for it. As soon as we were in the jail cell, I turned and started to say something about it, and he told me to shut up. Obviously, I didn’t. And then I told everyone when we got together a few days later.”

Of all the stories she’d heard today, it had made her laugh the hardest. It was hard to reconcile the Fenrys she’d met with the Fenrys in the story, and she couldn’t wait to bring it up to him the next time she saw him. 

Her favorite story, though, had been one his mother told her about Rowan finding a young, injured hawk when he was eight. Ivy had been baking in the kitchen when Rowan stumbled in, shirtless but holding the bundle to his chest. When she asked what he had, he showed her and begged that they take it somewhere that it could get healed and later released into the wild. A stoic hardass this man may be, but he’d always had a tender side. Aelin had seen it over and over, but it was sweet to know it had always been there. 

They didn’t realize how late it was until Ivy and Matthias decided to head off to bed, which turned out to be sometime after two in the morning. It was then that Rowan gathered their bags where they still sat by the front door and led her to his childhood bedroom. 

Because of how late they had arrived and dinner had been so close to finished, Aelin had little more than a peek into the bedroom he’d spent his nights as a child. She took a moment to look at all the trophies and team photos that lined floating shelves on the walls while Rowan dug through his bag for something to sleep in. Aelin’s polished fingers ran down the worn spines of books he had clearly loved, some of the covers ripped or missing corners from the wear and tear. 

It wasn’t the room of a boy but a growing teenager. The bed was a queen to adjust to his rapid growth, the sheets, and duvet a plain dark green. A few textbooks were stacked on a desk in the corner, ones that seemed to be from his college days. Apparently, that was some of what he’d come back for. He wanted to use the notes he’d taken to teach his students. 

Rowan was watching her, his travel clothes long gone. Instead, he was in a pair of sweatpants with no shirt, sitting on the edge of his bed and watching Aelin embrace his room. When she’d gotten her fill, she walked over to him, standing between his legs and draping her arms over his shoulders.

“I love it here,” she said quietly, twisting her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Yeah?” Aelin hummed in response, kissing him softly. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

“It’s perfect. It feels like a home. The way it looks, the smells, the way it’s decorated. That your bedroom is still the same it was when you graduated highschool.” Rowan smiled softly at her, tucking her hair behind her ear and pulling her in for a kiss. One that Aelin knew, had his parents not been down the hall, would have quickly devolved into something more. Instead, she pulled away and shook her head as if to clear it, “My parent’s house is home, don’t get me wrong. But it’s never felt this cozy and lived in. And your parents are…” Aelin took a deep breath, wanting to say everything that filled her mind. Ultimately she decided against it, feeling a knot forming in her throat at everything she couldn’t bring herself to say. To divert her emotions, she kissed him quickly and disappeared into the bathroom to ready herself for bed.

Something about that house, Ivy, and Matthias had Aelin sad to leave a few days later. For the first time after meeting a boyfriend’s parents, she found herself eager to return. 

But she knew she probably wouldn’t.

~*~

The mental hourglass that Aelin had of their relationship was running out. While she was the only one that knew it and she did her best to ignore it, the idea plagued her waking thoughts and jerked her out of fitful nightmares. It didn’t help that their relationship seemed to just continue to heat up, despite telling herself that she needed to be pulling away.

It was nearly Yulemas now and just under a month until she would return to UT to start her master's degree at the same time that Rowan would begin teaching a course she was due to take in the same semester. 

Much to her horror, when she had gone online to register for classes, Rowan’s was the last of the history requirement courses available. Her first pick was a course on art and architecture history in the southern continent, but it was already full by the time she submitted everything to her admissions advisor. Because of the strict outline that mandated she take three art history classes per semester, she had quite literally no other choice but to select Rowan’s class as her third and final for the spring. 

The sword of Damocles hung over her head every time she saw him, swaying back and forth each time his hands explored every inch of her skin. Aelin was constantly cursing herself, sometimes finding the words on the tip of her tongue but entirely unable to get them out of her mouth. She knew she had to tell him, knew it was getting down to the wire of when they could have a conversation about it that wouldn’t end in a blowout. 

Yet his sweet disposition when they were together made her almost forget. When they hopped into one of their cars to go for hikes up in the Staghorns, or when they lay on his couch watching movies, it didn’t feel like their relationship was as cursed for a fatal end as she thought it was. When they stood around throwing darts and Fenrys lifted her off her feet to celebrate yet another win on her part, it felt like everything was fine. Those moments made it so easy to fold up the whole truth with her half truths like they were tiny pieces of confetti. Aelin locked it all inside her heart, praying it wouldn’t pop off like a firework. 

Still, as he tossed her the keys over the hood of the car, her cloudy mind had her missing the catch. They landed with a clatter on the ground, her favorite keychain winking in the afternoon sun. Rowan chuckled, teasing remarks that didn’t quite make it through her ears falling from his tongue. Her laugh was forced as she got into the driver’s seat, turned the key, and gave life to her car. In the seat beside her, Rowan gave her a long look as though he knew something was wrong, but she found a smile that she punctuated with a loud, smacking kiss and that seemed to ease his worries. 

Today they were going out to do some Yulemas shopping for their friends and family. It was an easy decision to decide to go together. Aelin already had a gift for Rowan hidden in the top of her closet; she just had a few more names to tick off her list. She wanted his help selecting a present for Ivy and Matthias, and since he would be meeting her family at New Years, he required her assistance as well. 

Thinking about New Years was already psyching her out. It had been enough to meet his family while she had continued to delude herself that maybe they could make this whole thing work, but him meeting hers when it was bound to go up in flames once she revealed her lies seemed cruel. It was cruel to her family, to Rowan, to herself. It would only cause unnecessary hurt when everyone was attached and getting along. Her heart ached for how his parents would react. The thought of never seeing Ivy Whitethorn again made her eyes burn.

Aelin wasn’t stupid. This entire thing was her fault and hers alone. If she had just confessed as soon as Rowan mentioned he would be a professor, one that would likely teach her, maybe this would pan out okay. But now, several months deep into their relationship, falling more and more in love with him by the second… it all just felt doomed. 

Despite the hurricane of hurt that was headed directly for her, she would savor these last few weeks. No matter how hard she had to keep choking down her lies or how much it would hurt when it all crumpled like a piece of paper in a garbage bin, she wanted to soak up the last bit of happiness while she still could. 

The desire to have Rowan smiling at her like she was the only important thing in the world outweighed her guilty conscience that day which was how they ended up walking with laced fingers through the over-crowded shopping mall. Strangers who were also scrounging for last-minute gifts bumped into them restlessly, sending Aelin rocking into Rowan’s side. He was quick to steady her, his hands warm where they grazed the skin of her lower back beneath her shirt. It earned him a grateful smile as they braved the sea of teenagers and adults.

Despite how hectic it was, Aelin loved this time of year. She loved the sights and smells, the general cheer that seemed to hang in the air. The massive Yulemas tree in the center of the open ice rink downtown always brought her joy. She had dragged Rowan down to the parade and ceremonious lighting, citing that he needed to experience Orynth at Yulemas time in full swing. 

Rowan didn’t love the crowds. More than once, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him to weave in and out of people. When they stopped at the jewelry counter, he cursed them both for waiting so long to do their shopping. 

“This is the best time!” She cried, her grip tightening on his forearm as she struggled to keep up with him.

“This is the worst time,” Rowan argued, giving her a pointed look when a man on a mission nearly body slammed her into the jewelry counter and Rowan had to, once again, keep her from toppling over onto the floor. Okay, sure, maybe it did have its downsides, but– 

“Think about all the happiness that will come from these gifts! Imagine the children’s faces when they wake up in just a few mornings and get to open all their presents. And all the yummy desserts these people will be sharing with their families, all the memories that are being made right now.”

“You really have a flair for the dramatics,” he said, eyes skimming the various pieces of jewelry through the glass. Aelin grinned and mocked a bow. She was rewarded with a soft laugh and a kiss on her temple. 

She was dramatic, Aelin would be the first to admit. Maybe that was why she was waiting so long to shatter both of their hearts.

~*~

For both of them, Yulemas went without a hitch. Both of them had much needed family time, and Rowan arrived at her parents in the late afternoon. The big party wasn’t until the next night on New Year’s eve, but tonight family and friends would still find their way to the Ashryver-Galathynius home to kick things off with a lavish dinner that a private chef had been slaving over all day. 

Aelin paraded him all over the house, introducing him to everyone in a quick manner. After showing off the bedrooms, living rooms, and the theater room in the basement, she rounded off the tour by pulling him out onto the deck to show him the view. Maybe she also wanted to hint at some private jacuzzi time, but as soon as they stepped foot outside she knew he would love it out here as much as she did.

The house was nestled in the mountain side and it was picturesque back here. Especially once the sun set, or when you wanted to lay out and look at the stars. Both were things Aelin planned to do with him over the weekend, before having to go back to the harsh reality that was to become her life. It was a place that Aelin commonly found herself in growing up when life became too overwhelming or she just needed some peace and quiet. There were notches hidden along the wooden railing to show how many books she’d finished out here under the stars when she was supposed to be sleeping. 

“I want to kiss you at midnight right here,” he told her, leaning down to give her a preview of what she would get on the next night. Maybe she should start a new tally on the posts: how many kisses she could coax out of Rowan Whitethorn when they were supposed to be asleep.

With her parents bustling around preparing for dinner, they didn’t have much time to stop and talk to Rowan just yet. So Aelin led him back up to her bedroom, putting his bag on the chaise lounge at the foot of her bed before hopping onto the plush bedding while she watched him peruse her room the same way she had his.

“This house is incredible,” he mused, pulling back her curtains to peer out at the scenery that surrounded them.

“It’s definitely… It's home. It doesn’t always feel like it, but it’s home.” It was hard to explain why, exactly, she sometimes felt so disconnected to the place she grew up. Maybe it was because she’d grown up with parents that were so busy building an empire that they weren’t always around. Maybe it was because she spent a lot of time at friend’s houses when her mom and dad had to leave for week-long business trips that she wasn’t allowed to go on. Maybe now the feeling of Rowan’s childhood home dwarfed hers with how inviting and warm it had been. But her parent’s estate still overflowed with memories and she loved it for that.

“My mom would love the kitchen.”

“She’s more than welcome to come make something in it. Gods know my mother seldom has,” she snorted, falling onto her back as he sat down beside her. Rowan chuckled, running his hand down her thigh to her knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. “There’s a really good chance that my ex boyfriend is going to be here tonight, by the way. If it were up to me, he wouldn’t be, but I never have a say in any of this.”

“Chaol?” The thing about Rowan was that he actually listened to her. When she told him about Chaol Westfall, he had spent the entirety of the conversation rolling his eyes. He even forced a gag when Aelin said that he wanted her to be a trophy on his arm and nothing more. When he said that didn’t sound like Aelin at all, she had smiled.

“Yep. His dad works with mine, and he’s a piece of work. His mother is sweet enough, I don’t know how they ended up together. It’s no wonder Chaol turned out the way he did. Annie did her best but his dad is just…”  Aelin trailed off, unable to find a word fitting for the frigid man she’d grown up around. Rowan hummed in response, seeming to understand as he leaned back on his elbows to look down at her. 

“And your parents are fine with the way he treated you?”

“They didn’t really know in full. My mom was ecstatic when we started dating because I’ve known him and his family for most of my life. His best friend Dorian is also one of my best friends. It made sense until I stopped being what he wanted me to be. He was the first, and only, guy that I’d dated since everything happened with Sam. I think Chaol thought I’d become more submissive and small since the accident, and my parents were just happy I was dating someone again. Plus, they not only have personal ties to his family, but business ones as well. I wasn’t going to risk my father doing something stupid for the sake of my dignity, or whatever.” Aelin waved her hand dismissively, rolling onto her side to look at Rowan. 

“If things go sideways, I’ll be sure to defend your honor.” Amusement shone in Rowan’s eyes and Aelin knew he would, given the chance. But she doubted anything would happen to require it, so she simply leaned over and kissed him once, twice, three times. 

Three little words floated to the forefront of her mind that she had to swallow down. Aelin hadn’t said I love you to anyone since Sam. Already, though, the words wanted to bubble out of her mouth and into his. Reminding herself it was too early, she occupied her lips with his until a knock disrupted the both of them.

“Aelin, my love?” 

“You can open the door, Mom,” she laughed, the two of them sitting up as the door swung open to reveal Evalin Ashryver Galathynius herself.

“Rowan, I am so sorry we’ve been so neglectful. I promise breakfast will be entirely about getting to know you.”

“It’s really no problem at all, Mrs. Galathynius. I’d be more than happy to help tonight if you need it,” he replied respectfully, offering a kind smile that made Aelin want to kiss his face all over again.

“Nonsense. Guests will be arriving soon for dinner, so the two of you may want to get changed.” Evalin’s gaze shifted to Aelin, “Have you decided on what to wear tonight?”

In response, Aelin looked over at her closet and squinted at the contents that she could see, one eye nearly closed as she tried to zero in on something. “I’m wearing that new gold dress I sent you pictures of tomorrow. But tonight… maybe something black?”

“You have that black and gold one.” A woman on a mission, Evalin entered Aelin’s closet and began combing through the rack that held her fanciest dresses. When she found what she was looking for, she held it up for Aelin to see, who was now leaning against the closet door. Rowan was still seated on the bed, responding to a text. 

“I haven’t worn that one yet.” 

“I think it’s perfect, wouldn’t you agree?” Evalin nodded her head toward Rowan and winked, mouthing ‘It’s low,’ to Aelin in reference to the partially open back of the dress that dipped all the way to the bottom of her spine. 

“I think you’re right, mama. I think you are absolutely right.”

~*~

Aelin did her makeup while Rowan showered and got dressed. He was devastatingly handsome in a simple black suit and tie. There was another option, one that was a dark green velvet suit that would bring out the stunning shade of his eyes. That one, Aelin decided, would match her perfectly tomorrow and was entirely too hot for him to wear for a stuffy dinner. She’d helped him adjust the tie around his neck and promised to be downstairs soon. 

Aelin’s little list of secrets grew as she hid her dress from his prying eyes. It was one that had been sitting in the back of her closet for years, reserved for some future gala where she could get away with the risque back. Her mother pulling it out for this party, for Rowan to see, seemed to be perfect.

After he disappeared down the hall and she shut the door behind him, she sat back down to trace her full lips with a dark red lipliner, filling in the center with her favorite red lipstick. Drama seemed the way to go, which was why she had pulled her hair into a simple updo with two bat-wing combs holding it all together like a crown. The beachy curls she’d done before gave it an intentionally messy look, one that would keep her long hair off her back to really show off the beaded, golden dragon that seemed to be crawling up toward the nape of her neck. 

By the time she had zipped herself into her dress, she was itching with anticipation to get downstairs and let Rowan see her in all her glory. Some would say she was cocky, but it was simple confidence that coursed through her. When she looked in the mirror for the final time, she saw a queen smiling back at her. A queen that would bring a man to his knees.

Stepping into a pair of black patent heels, she gathered the train of her dress and made her way down the stairs. People she both did and didn’t know were already mingling in the sitting room the steps led into, several pairs of eyes following her as she made her descent into the formal chaos. It didn’t take her long to spot Rowan on the other side of the room, who was completely slack-jawed at what she’d chosen. Aelin had to bite her lip to keep from grinning too hard as he sat down his flute of champagne on the fireplace mantel and made his way to her. When she stepped off the bottom step, she turned so he could see the breathtaking golden design, along with her scarred back on display

“You…” his head shook as though he needed to clear his thoughts, or like it might help him find the word he was looking for. 

“Cat got your tongue?” she winked, slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow when he offered her his arm. 

“You are magnificent.” The reverence in his voice had her stepping a little closer to him to lean up and kiss him, laughing when she pulled away and using the pad of her thumb to wipe the dark red from his lips. 

“I know.”

“Of course you do.” Rowan’s eyes rolled, but there was still so much emotion flickering in them that had nothing to do with annoyance. It was heat and adoration in his gaze, the former sending warmth straight to her lower belly. He looked at her like he was starving and she was his favorite meal. When he looked at her like that, their future didn’t seem quite so bleak. 

Aelin had almost forgotten they were in the center of a party. Unfortunately, no matter how badly she wanted to pull Rowan into the study and let him devour her, she had to greet the guests. The women showered her with compliments on her look, touching the tips of the bat wings with their fingers. Aelin knew that her mother would get a boat load of compliments about what a beautiful young woman she’d grown into. It almost made her want to snort. 

“Aelin Galathynius, as I live and breathe,” a voice drawled, and Aelin’s eyes dashed to the entry hall where one of her favorite people in the entire world leaned against a door frame, hands in his pockets. 

She quickly dropped Rowan’s hand and bolted for him, running as fast as her heels and the train of her dress would allow. As soon as she was close enough she launched herself at him, arms going around his neck. To Dorian’s credit, he caught her and led them into an easy spin. Both of them laughed as he righted her on her feet. Aelin had expected Rowan to follow, but he hadn’t. He was standing by the stairs watching with a slight grin on his lips. She waved him over, grabbing his hand once he was close enough.

“Dorian, this is my boyfriend, Rowan. Rowan, Dorian Havillard.”

“Childhood best friend, extremely bi-sexual–”

“Dorian!” Aelin smacked his shoulder, earning a low chuckle. Her eyes narrowed and she pointed her finger directly in his face, nearly poking his nose. “He’s spoken for.”

“I can tell. His eyes haven’t left you since you made your grand entrance.” Dorian held his hand out, and the two shared a solid shake. 

“I’m sure I’m not the only one,” Rowan added, eyes glancing around. Aelin’s did too, snickering over the few pairs of eyes that were still admiring the dress her mother had chosen for the evening. It was probably a bit much, but the Galathynius’ were kind of known for always doing the absolute most. 

“Rightly so. You look beautiful, my darling girl,” Evalin said as she approached, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s cheek. “I can’t believe Rowan is still standing.”

“I thought my legs were going to give out there for a second.” Aelin wrinkled her nose at him, sure that he was full of it. After a wink, he said, “Knocked the breath clean out of my lungs and stole the words  right out of my mouth.”

“Oh, now you’re just sucking up to my mom,” she teased, sliding her arm around his waist. Rowan’s came to rest on her lower back, his thumb brushing small circles over her exposed skin. It made her all the more desperate to drag him away, to loosen his tie and roll up his sleeves while he edged her towards ecstasy. Again, she found her lip tucking beneath her teeth as she looked back at her mother, who gave her a knowing look.

“Well, it’s working,” Evalin said, patting Rowan’s shoulder before disappearing through the crowd to greet her friends. 

Dorian, Aelin, and Rowan fell into easy conversation. Their group expanded as more of their friends and the ‘young crowd’ arrived. Aelin was excited that, despite the age difference, he was quick to get along with everyone. Nehemiah had nudged her at one point, eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. Elide and Manon had separately snuck her high fives that she was certain Rowan had caught onto. 

When Chaol showed up, she had introduced them before going to grab herself another drink. Just as she was walking back toward her friends,  she overheard Rowan say, “Nice to meet you, Kyle,” and she’d laughed so hard that champagne had come out of her nose. The burning that followed had been entirely worth it.

By the time Lysandra arrived with Aedion, Aelin had an easy buzz and a grumbling stomach. The hors d'oeuvres weren’t cutting it anymore. She was thrilled when dinner was ready to be served and they all scrambled for their chairs. 

By the end of the night, Aelin was tipsy and sad to see her friends leave despite knowing they would be back in less than twenty four hours for the New Years Eve bash. She gave them all lingering hugs, even her cousin and her very best friend who would be sleeping just down the hall. This was turning into one weekend that she knew she would never, ever forget, the memories burning brightly through the haze of champagne. 

After saying goodnight to her parents, she and Rowan made their way up to her room. They showered together quickly, neither of them wanting to risk making too much noise and being caught. Not to mention that they were both exhausted, especially from his day of travel. Instead, they tenderly washed each other’s hair and bodies until they were clean. It had been a fun night, but she was beyond ready to sink into her sheets and dream about sweet nothings until the smell of bacon and waffles woke her in the morning. 

But sleep never came. Rowan’s breathing evened out almost immediately. Constantly jealous of how fast the man managed to fall asleep every night, Aelin watched the ceiling fan spin round and round in her dark room. Her mind was racing again, blistering the truth by dragging it over the hot coals that had become her mind. Everything was mostly fine during the day, but the demons really crept out when the lights turned off and the world got quiet.

After what felt like hours, she gave up and slipped out of bed. She tried to keep her footsteps light as she made her way downstairs so as to not wake everyone else. There was no reason for her to be headed toward the kitchen. Just at the thought of putting more food into her body, Aelin’s stomach ached in protest. Yet all she could think about was the half-eaten chocolate hazelnut cake on the kitchen island that would surely chase away the nightmare of a truth.

The kitchen was dimly illuminated by the ice dispenser on the fridge. She was a thief in the night as she swiped a clean fork from the drawer and removed the domed lid of the cake plate. Not wanting the clatter of getting a plate, she began eating small bites that melted on her tongue. It was the sweetest distraction. 

Until she heard footsteps padding down the hall, and saw Rowan appear a moment later. Part of his stomach was exposed from his arm being lifted as he rubbed the back of his neck and yawned widely. If she were closer, she would have been able to count each of his teeth. 

“What are you doing awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Her eyes were downcast as she poked at the thick layer of icing, finding it hard to look at him. The truth was a raging ocean, desperate to crash through the dam that was her mouth. Aelin clenched her jaw to keep it in.

“What’s on your mind, love?” Rowan’s hands were gentle as he took the fork from her hands and placed it on the counter. He brought her arms up to his neck and slid his hands down to her sides. Aelin was quiet as she rested her forehead against his chest for a moment, listening to the sound of him breathing to ground her. 

“What isn’t on my mind?” The laugh that escaped her was hollow, that ugly truth trying to claw its way out. 

The look on Rowan’s face was pensive when she looked up at him. Instead of pushing her in the moment, he placed a kiss on the wrinkle between her brows while he began to sway them in place. The vibration from his chest could be felt in her arms as he hummed a song that was familiar but she couldn’t quite place. 

When he took her hand and forced her into a twirl, she laughed. The awful feeling in her chest lifted if only by a little. Aelin almost hated that he was so good at scaring off the monsters. It didn’t seem fair when she could hear the tick tick tick of the bomb in the back of her mind but feel so at peace with being in his arms. 

This time, though, she couldn’t just shrug it off. There was no forcing it into a locked room or a box. The truth had become too big, the whole thing had become too much of a mess. It wasn’t anything that she could figure out or salvage on her own. While she desperately wanted to avoid this conversation, she couldn’t keep the words down anymore. 

“I need to tell you something,” she finally said with a shaky voice as he pulled her back into a light and casual carriage. 

“Okay.”

Aelin’s mouth twisted into a knot much like her stomach. Their movements stilled but she couldn’t quite get herself to let go of him. Worried about what the next few minutes would entail, she rocked up on her toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Rowan kissed her back, his hand cradling the back of her head.

“Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me and we can talk it out.”

“I don’t have my masters. I’ve been– I’m taking your class this semester,” she blurted, her voice quivering as much as her fingers and lips.

Beneath her hands, his muscles tensed as he breathed, “What?”

“After I graduated, I traveled for a while. After the accident I just… I managed to finish out my bachelor’s degree and I graduated, and I traveled for a little over a year. I took an internship for six months in the Southern Continent, and then just traveled all over to really soak up the art. And I start this semester for my masters degree.” Each word she said seemed to get softer and more quiet than the last. It didn’t matter that she had rehearsed this speech over and over the last few months. It was an effort to get any of the words out at all. 

Rowan’s hands moved to her wrists, and for a moment she thought maybe he was going to tell her it was okay. Instead of words of encouragement, he pulled her hands from his neck and dropped them like she had burned him. He stepped away from her, all the warmth in the room going with him as ice flooded her body. The tension became so frigid she wrapped her arms around her body to give back some of the warmth. Or maybe it was to keep herself in one piece, to keep from shattering into a million pieces on the floor. 

“I don’t– fuck, Aelin.”

“I know.” Even to her own ears, her voice sounded small and foreign. 

“You should have told me from the beginning.” She knew that, too. Through the haze of her frantically beating heart, she tried to come up with a solution that he might agree to.

“If we just talk to the Dean–”

“You are my student. In my class. In my department. It doesn’t matter that we have an established relationship. You should have told me the truth from the beginning so that I had time to prepare and figure something out. You should have chosen any class but mine–”

“I tried! There wasn’t anything else to fit my schedule and I needed the credit. This isn’t me trying to live some weird fantasy, Rowan. I want to finish my degree and start my career, not jeopardize both of our futures.”

Rowan sighed, his shoulders caving as he rubbed at his face. The silence was a heavy, deafening thing. The roaring of her blood in her veins filled the space between her head. It sounded like she was drowning. The way she was forcing air into her lungs felt like it, too. Tears were burning and clouding her vision as she blinked furiously to keep them from falling. They had never had a fight about anything, save for what they wanted to do for dinner. Their first real and only fight being about the end of their relationship was crushing her in ways she wasn’t prepared for.

Aelin didn’t think she would have ever been ready for this. The invisible string she had always felt like connected them was taught and struggling not to break. She swallowed hard, eyes unfocused on the cake on the counter while she wished she could take back the confession. Hiding it for longer wouldn’t have done any good, but preserving what they had, what they were to each other… 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her heart shattering like glass in his hands. “I know I should have told you sooner. I just wanted to keep this. To keep you.”

His expression was unreadable, hands moving to rest on his hips. Like hers, his eyes were bloodshot and watery, with evidence of more than one tear having fallen down his tan cheek. There was still the rest of the night, there was still tomorrow. Maybe after they settled a little bit she could take him out back and they could lay beneath the stars and figure out this complicated mess she had made. 

Maybe he wanted to keep her, too.

“I’m going to get my things and go home,” he finally said, breaking the silence. 

“I don’t– please don’t leave me, we can figure something out, we can–” her words failed her. Aelin didn’t have the slightest clue of what they could do, but she was willing to seek out a solution until they found something that stuck. 

“I just need time to think.” There was a finality to his tone that she had never quite heard before. The lines of his face had hardened, his jaw sharp and his lips pursed while he looked at anything but her. It was the first time that she had ever felt so young next to him, the first time she had ever really, truly felt the age gap between them.The feeling of being scolded by her parents caused heat to creep up her neck and cheeks, the tips of her ears turning cherry red. 

Just like when she was younger and getting in trouble, she knew there was nothing else to be said. Not only because if he needed time she would give it to him, but because of the way he’d said it. No room for argument or debate. It was final. 

The knot in her throat made it hard to swallow, to breathe. She found herself speechless as he left the kitchen and disappeared back up to her room. The silence that followed was filled with gasping sobs and she finally started to break down now that he wasn’t there to see it. Aelin’s arms wrapped tightly around her body, her nails digging into her shoulders so hard that it hurt. It took everything to not fall to her knees. 

After what felt like ages, Rowan reappeared in the kitchen with his bag over his shoulder. The sadness in his eyes struck her to her core. Knowing that she was the reason for his pain made everything worse, even as he crossed the kitchen and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. Even though she had wrecked everything they were, he still wanted to comfort her. That alone had the tears falling faster. 

“Please don’t leave me. Please don’t break up with me, don’t end this, I can’t–” she begged, her hands reaching for his neck. That he allowed her touch at all surprised her, but his following words sucked all the air from the room.

“I’ll call you, okay?” His voice was raw, the auditory version of tears. All she could do was nod her head and dig her fingers harder into her skin as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

And then he was walking away, taking her heart with him. The front door closed moments later, and Aelin sank to her knees and cried. 

~*~

It was a rare day that Aelin Galathynius didn’t feel like partying. Especially if that party was to celebrate a major holiday that required getting all dolled up. Yet as she sat in the corner of the room in the sparkling gold dress she had thought would bring Rowan to his knees before her, she didn’t care. 

She didn’t care about the dress, her smudged makeup, or the half-assed curls she’d done. It didn’t matter that it was written all over her face how upset she was as her friends and family buzzed around the closer it got to midnight. Every now and then, someone would come and check on her, but she kept insisting it was fine, that she didn’t need a babysitter and everyone else should have fun.

Her mom had found her that morning, still sitting on the kitchen floor with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Silent tears streaked down her cheeks as she numbly explained everything. Evalin sat on the floor with her, embracing her daughter while she whispered that everything would be alright. Aelin wanted to believe her, but wasn’t sure she was capable of it. It didn’t feel like anything would ever be alright again. 

It wasn’t just the relationship she was mourning, but the version of herself she was when she was with Rowan. Evalin had always told her that she should find the person that made her not be afraid to unapologetically be herself and keep them forever. Rowan was that person. There was never any judgment from him, only acceptance. Aelin had always been a wildfire, but after everything with Sam it had been dampened. It was the first time in years that Aelin had truly been herself, and she wasn’t the only one that knew it. Over the last few months her phone was riddled with texts about how good it was to see her happy, how good it was to have her back. 

Aelin swallowed her, fidgeting with the beads on her dress. Her friends wandered over to where she sat in the corner, Dorian perching on the armrest of the oversized chair she’d claimed. The golden shoes she’d been so excited to wear were haphazardly slewn on the ground while her feet remained tucked beneath her body. If anyone were to bring up whatever conversation was being had later, Aelin wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was about. Her eyes had been fixed on the fire for hours and she had no desire to stop now.

Minutes before midnight, Aelin stole a full bottle of champagne and slipped outside while everyone scrambled to find their partners or a random pair of lips to kiss. It was cold, but she welcomed it, her bare feet padding along the brick flooring until she was able to curl up on a lawn chair. In seconds, she was shivering, and with shaky hands she popped open the bottle, holding it out over the ground. Some of it splashed onto her hands and legs but she was beyond the point of caring. 

Through the windows, she could hear her loved ones shouting a countdown. Then they were cheering, and she didn’t have to look inside to know that everyone was sharing kisses and excitement for the new year. Aelin was supposed to be kissing Rowan right now. Her mind was supposed to be racing with what was to come for their relationship. She wasn’t supposed to be alone in the cold, thinking in what-ifs and guzzling champagne straight from the bottle. 

The back door slid open, then closed. A moment later a jacket was being draped over her shoulders. She didn’t have to look over to know it was her father; the scent of his cologne was enough. Rhoe was quiet, running his hand over the back of her head while she stared at the stars.

“It’s supposed to be fun,” he said quietly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head. It was supposed to be fun, but Aelin couldn’t find any joy in the day. “Happy new year, Fireheart.”

“You too.” Her voice sounded disconnected and odd, quiet and scratchy. She hadn’t spoken much since she spilled everything to her mother. As she took another swig, filling her mouth with fizzy bubbles, she registered her dad’s footsteps retreating back inside. 

Instead of making the new notch of ways she’d kissed Rowan on the balcony, she broke the bottle and used its sharp edge to carve a new line into the wood instead: ways that Aelin had broken her own heart.

Aelin stayed there, begging the stars until her bones began to hurt from the cold. Only then did she make the journey back to her room, the confetti a mockery of her exploded secrets scattered on the floor. 

The only semblance of comfort she got that night was falling into her bed that still smelled faintly of pine and snow.

~*~

bolded tags wouldn't work :(

@themoonthestarsthesuriel @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @secondstartorightand @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacalll @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @delightfulfartwolf @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294 @royalsqueeze @the-hospitality-of-knives @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @rowanaelinn @the-regal-warrior

[askeataiho]

Seattle Blind Channel (and The Hu, Nerv) gig + trip report

Not sure how many people are interested, but here is a brief report of my trip to see Blind Channel at both their Seattle show this past weekend.  I have no decent pictures of the show (which I know is what most people want) because my phone takes terrible pictures in the dark, and I doubt you’re interested in pictures of my room/food/Seattle tourist attractions.

I flew in on Friday morning, and went directly to the venue (The Crocodile) because they also have a boutique hotel there which was where I was staying!  As someone who usually stays at hostels (if it's just me) or chain hotels (if traveling with parents) this was quite a treat.  They were sold out of their cheaper rooms too by the time I booked so my room was extra nice.  Also, I've never paid that much for a hotel in my life (but my flights were free at least.)  The noise from the shows after The Hu both nights weren't too bad in my room either.

I ate so much on the trip – focused on things youtuber Mike Chen has recommended. But doubt you're interest.  I have recommendations if anyone is going to Seattle!

I lined up about 45 minutes before doors on Friday, and a little closer to doors on Saturday.  Friday was all ages and Saturday 21+ but the average age of attendee both nights was probably mid to late 30's with plenty of people 60+ and I only noticed a dozen or so kids/teens.  People were joking in line about telling people they were going to see The Hu and people thinking The Who.  One person joked that “does this crowd look like we're going to see a The Who cover band?”– this crowd that was clearly a bunch of people going to a metal concert, plus a handful of people in Mongolian traditional dress.

On Friday I got first row, but way far over on the corner (Olli's side of course.)  I was so far over Blind Channel's lights never even got over there so 0 chance of Olli eye contact or pick, whoops.

The first band was Nerv, who I was not familiar with and only realized they'd replaced Voice of Baceprot as the third band in the line up a week or so ago.  I'd only listened to two of their songs beforehand and not liked one of them.  Well, they were actually really good, the one song I'd not liked prior to the show as the only song in their set that I didn't like.  My favorite songs of theirs are Low and Blue.  The band had some local big fans on their guest list, and I could see why they did that; really helped the crowd not be dead at the start to have a few big fans in the first couple rows.

Blind Channel was next, and it was great to see them!  They're real! Not just on my screen! And right there (though I was so far over to the side Aleksi might not have existed 😅).  Unfortunately, their setlist was shorter in Seattle than other stops on the tour.  Some highlights: Olli and Niko doing a little shimmy dance at each other during Deadzone (I think), Tommi looking extra scruffy 🥰, Joonas and Joel doing their bullfighting (despite the stage being small.)  Also, I think their outfits look better on stage than in the pictures (also kept wonder if Olli's pants still had that rip in them 😆.)

For The Hu I stepped back to let some girls in Mongolian dress in front of me.  But still was quite close.  The Hu was louder than Nerv and Blind Channel – ouch my ears – and with all eight of them on stage it was quite full (I couldn't even see the guy who was furthest away from me.)  They put on a great show! I was familiar with them before but not a big fan or anything.  I think I might listen to them more, but seeing them live was great!  I'd been planning to get a shirt with the tour dates, but got one with a horse on it instead, looked too cool to pass up and I own way too many T-shirts to buy two expensive ones from the same tour.  Also, I bought a Blind Channel hat because I wanted to get something of theirs.

On Saturday I picked a spot closer to center – second row, right in front of Olli (aimed for the spot where the person who got a pick from him first night was.)  Nerv was good again, though the guys had the same technical problem at the same spot in the show as the night before.

I was in a great spot for Blind Channel the second time.  I got my first intense eye-contact with Olli during the first song 😳.  He made eye-contact with several people during the show but I was the first one.  I had a lot of fun despite being crammed in with all those other people (I don't like crowds.)  He made eye-contact with me again but more briefly because the photographer jumped in to get it.  I really hope he posts that photo because that will make up for him ruining my moment.  I didn't get the pick, the tall guy behind me did 😞.  The Hu and Nerv guys gentle tossed or handed their guitar picks but Olli and Joonas did big high tosses and I can't catch shit if it's tossed above glasses height.

Then I decided to move to the back.  I thought I'd grab a beer, get some fresh air, and then have more personal space in the back.

This was a mistake.

First off, the beer was gross.  I only like beers that are either moderately dark with a flavor (e.g., raspberry) or really really dark.  Clubs don't seem to have these choices.

Fresh air wasn't great because it had started raining and people were smoking around the whole block.  Also, you might suggest finding BC's bus at this point.  But despite staying at the venue, I never saw their bus!  The Hu and Nerv had their buses parked in front of the building, but I'd literally walked around the block and peered in the alleys and looked at the closest pay'n'park I knew earlier and not seen it.

Then I went inside and it was even more cramped in the back than the front. At least I felt I had space to breath up front.  I went to the bathroom to have some breathing space and came out just as The Hu was starting.  Ended up half-behind Nerv's merch table, but their merch guy/photographer didn't seem to mind (unlike the people who leaned against the table and messed up the display.)  Sound wasn't as good that far to the side but it was still a good show.

I went for dinner after, I regretted my beer choice earlier again, because that restaurant had an imported beer I would like and can't get at home, but only in 22oz cans, which was far too much for me considering I'd already had a beer.

On Sunday, I did more eating and tourist stuff, particularly Chihuly Garden and Glass which was surprisingly nice considering both gardens and glass art aren't things I have particularly strong interests in.

Back home now, catching up on fandom stuff, other fun stuff and, less excitingly, school stuff.  The trip was fun but far too short.

[emiehhsstuff]

HIGH & LOW: THE WORST SERIES

HANAOKA FUJIO X OC

CHAPTER 4: BIG BROTHER

It hasn't even been past a week since the incident of Housen declaring war on Oya High and now the fateful day has arrived. The final fight between Housen and Oya.

The rival factions had temporarily ceased their tension with each other and had united to face Housen.

The once injured Yasushi also joined the fight, despite Rikki's protests. Kiyoshi earning a hard look from her and just promised that he will look out for her brother, much to Yasushi's dislike. Arguing that he isn't a child that someone needs to look out for.

Rikki knew that they were fighting Housen which made her wonder why Housen would attack Oya High, knowing that the two schools never really had any conflicts even in the past. She only knew that a drug called Red Rum was one of the reasons.

She just hoped that no one would lose a life in the fight. Especially praying that her brother and Kiyoshi will be okay and come back whole and alive.

...

"I told you to just stay out of the fight, now stop complaining and let me do my work."

As embarrassed as he was, he couldn't exactly do anything but stay put and let the girl clean his wounds. Especially the one on the side of his head. Curse Shidaken of Housen who purposely aimed for it. Now the stitches were messed up and he has to go and get them redone.

Just as they were about to lose, Murayama came, together with the part-timers and cleared the whole fiasco. It turns out, they were totally being played by a group called Kidra, the true manufacturer and the one who distributed red rum to their territory and the one who planned to pit the two schools together to destroy them in the process. They have fought a useless battle and now they swore to get revenge on the actual enemy for playing with them.

After everyone had dispersed, The YasuKiyo duo were greeted by a disappointed Rikki, waiting for their arrival and is now mercilessly cleaning their wounds. Yasushi swore it hurts more on how she dabs the ointment than the actual wound itself which made him, and after him, Kiyoshi, hiss in pain.

"Take it easy Rikki. That hurts!"

"You're lucky it wasn't totally messed up. Now you have to go and get your stitches fixed again."

A frown was visible on her face and Yasushi just looked away, mumbling protests.

...

"I'm going to buy groceries Nii-chan. Remember, you have to take a rest, okay? No more fights!"

Rikki warned her brother before finally putting on her shoes and going out in a hurry. After cleaning and patching up the duo's wounds, she finally decided to get groceries since upon arriving, she noticed that most of the food that her brother has in his apartment were all instant food which is really unhealthy when eaten on a daily basis, and knowing her brother, it would be his actual diet if left alone. Good thing was, Mrs. Yokoyama would always invite Yasushi to eat with them almost every day to watch out for the teen. She would remember to thank the woman later.

She would also call them at least once a week to reassure them that Yasushi is doing fine, minus the fighting and all. Fights and bruises might have already been normal for them.

"I'll help Rikki-chan. Besides, it's getting late."

Kiyoshi offered to which she nodded with a smile. While Kiyoshi may look like a thug, he's actually more gentle and kinder than Yasushi which is surprising considering how crazy he is in fighting and his crave for violence. He was always the big brother figure when it comes to both siblings, him being actually older than them for two years. Just like his mother, he would always look out for them when their father was away on his work back then, and even now that Rikki and their father went to Toaru City, he's still looking out for Yasushi in their place which the girl is really grateful for. Although most of the time, both Yasushi and him would be just like two idiots of a whole.

"Okay! You should stay for dinner too, Kiyoshi-nii. Besides, it's been so long since I've cooked for both of you."

"Yosh!!"

Rikki excitedly stated which the older teen enthusiastically beamed in agreement. While Yasushi can't cook for his life, Rikki is actually a great cook, having to learn herself at a very young age because she's not really fond of eating instant meals and even their father isn't really great at cooking anything else but eggs, so she had to improvise unless she wants to eat eggs all the way everyday back then.

...

"Thank you and come again!"

After buying everything she needed, Kiyoshi approached her and took the bags of groceries, insisting that he would carry everything and that it's no big deal which Rikki appreciated. Another trait that she liked about the older teen. He was always respectful when it comes to his mother and every lady that he meets, despite being intimidating at first.

"So, Kiyoshi-nii, I was just curious but this Hanaoka Fujio, is he also in the fight with Housen?"

She suddenly asked which made Kiyoshi stop and look at het with raised brows. She could only smile innocently. Truth to be told, she hasn't told anyone about what happened that one night and her encounter with Fujio. They would flip and scold her for her recklessness which she isn't really thrilled to experience. Although, it made her curious about the guy.

"Yeah, he is. Why?"

"Just curious"

Her nonchalant answer made him raise his eyebrow again but decided to shrug it off. Kiyoshi knew the girl really well. From her habits to her personality. Her sudden question about a certain boy raised alarms in his mind. Yasushi would not be thrilled.

"Did you happen to meet him?"

Although they temporarily ceased the rivalry for the race being the leader of Oya High, they weren't stupid enough not to notice how Fujio is slowly being accepted as the Full-time leader, and to be frank, he doesn't strongly dislike the idea, but they are not backing down without a fight.

"Just a short encounter"

Rikki doesn't really keep secrets from them. Not unless they don't care to ask.

"What? When-- never mind. Just don't involve yourself with him, and all Oya students in particular.  Wouldn't want Yasushi going all berserk again, you know him."

Kiyoshi playfully stated which made Rikki reminiscence some events that happened in the past that she isn't actually thrilled to remember. She groaned in annoyance.

"He went ballistic for a stupid reason. It's not like I'm going to marry every guy I've just talked to. I'm grateful he has mellowed down."

Kiyoshi laughed at her frustration, remembering what happened back then which will always be something that he will never forget. 

Back when they were still in middle school, a boy had actually confessed to Rikki and Yasushi wasn't thrilled at the thought. Her brother even stated in an overdramatic voice that, "If you marry him, your children will look like the grinch" which made her facepalm at his notion. What a way of thinking.

In the end, he beat the boy up and ended up in suspension, but the gremlin just smiled and threatened everyone who comes near his sister. This made everyone avoid her like the plague and basically, she hadn't made friends because of it which made her a loner most of the time whenever the duo isn't at school. Although she never did resent him for it. It wasn't like she's friendless outside of school too.

"He's protective like that."

As violent as he was at times, Rikki knew that it is how her brother shows affection. He was never good at words and most of the time, it would be just insults coming out of it, but his actions would speak differently. He could be insulting her but still accompany her when she needed someone, or he'll be whining and cussing protests while she tends to his wounds but in the end, she will always be the first person he'll go to after a fight. They would always be each other's comfort person, Kiyoshi included at times.

"I know. I love him like that. Don't tell him though."

Kiyoshi smiled and nodded. Both siblings are really alike, despite Rikki being kinder and softer than her brother, their personalities are more alike than they care to admit. Maybe its normal for the Nishikawa family to be somewhat Tsundere's.

Remembering how Yasushi had once told him the promise the latter had made himself after a certain incident that nearly changed the girl for life. He would never forget how menacing Yasushi looked at that time. 

"Rikki's not like us. She's far more than the life that's waiting ahead for us and I'll make sure she'll always be happy."

The girl may not remember but all of those who were present that day clearly remembered what happened and swore to never tell a word about that incident. It would only open a dark door that the girl had forcefully closed inside her mind and Yasushi never wanted to see his sister in that state ever again. 

[ofainur]

This just hit me, but a Lissë crushing on reader and attempting to confess/court them headcanons or fic. Whichever is easier to write >.< 🌻

( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ oc ⠀〳 reader⠀ ❜࿔

· ⊰ synopsis. how lissë goes about when she has a crush on you

· ⊰ note. thank you for the request mina bby! I certainly had lots of fun hehe

♡. — 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆. . .

❀˙ ˖ She knows how to deal with her feelings well, and wouldn't be too much of a flustered or spluttering mess whenever she is around you, at least outwardly. She would keep her signature smile and attempt to act normal, but if you look close enough you'll notice how she seems happier. How her wings flutter and her deer ears remain perked, or the twinkle in her eyes.

❀˙ ˖ As a Maia of Yavanna, she would rely on her plants first and foremost. She would always gift you bouquets of flowers, ensuring that each species of flower she presented gave a secret message depending on what they represented. Love, adoration, and all things positive. She hopes that you would eventually piece the puzzle together.

❀˙ ˖ She also sometimes rambles to the plants about her love for you. Having long and extended conversations about everything that she fancies about you, how perfect you are in her eyes and how she would do anything to see you smile.

❀˙ ˖ Erulissë is one to show her affection through acts of service and gifts. She is always there to lend a helping hand, be it through aiding you with any duty you might need or even cooking little meals for you. Sometimes she even bakes you lovely desserts and leaves them as a gift for you. Along with her flowers, she almost always has something to give you.

❀˙ ˖ However, when she decides to make a move, she will put a lot of planning into it. She wants to make it special, yes, even if you were to reject her. She only wants the best for you. Which is why she planned a nice picnic in Yavanna's pastures on a day that you were free. 

❀˙ ˖ She would give you your favourite flowers and make sure to have prepared your favourite treats. Her aim was to watch the stars with you and hopefully make some flower crowns.

❀˙ ˖ Despite telling herself that she does not want to rush into things, she would be so excited that she would spill her confession without even realising it, whilst the two of you are making flower crowns. And when she realises? Her deer ears will droop and she'll grow into a flustered mess 

❀˙ ˖ "H-Hey can we pretend that didn't happen? Enjoy the day so that I can confess to you properly later?"

❀˙ ˖ Her bashfulness would come to an end when you accept her confession. The Maia would be so excited that she cannot help but throw her arms and wings around you, telling you about how she is going to do her utmost hardest to make you the happiest person in all of Arda. 

❀˙ ˖ The rest of the day would be spent doing as planned. The two of you had so much fun in each other's company that you ended up falling asleep beneath the cherry blossom tree she picked, cuddling up as she has her wings draped over you. 

·⊰ masterlist.

·⊰ tip jar.

·⊰ get tagged for my writing. @doodle-pops @rurifangirl @a-chaotic-dumbass @cilil

( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ please consider liking, reblogging and / or commenting if you enjoy my work! all feedback is greatly appreciated ♡

[freyjathelynx]

i’m not really sure if i get “community”.

it’s not that i don’t respect the efforts everyone puts into having one. it’s kinda beautiful how people work so hard to make sure other people are kept safe and included. the term itself just feels… watered down, representing the loosest forms of social association.

take the average discord “community”. what really binds them together, especially anything larger than, say, 100 people at most — some cultural icon, a loose identity status, a meme, a video game? i run two public discords, both of which are healthy and have many active users, but i can hardly call them “community” in the sense that i think these people are bonded.

i think about old queer associations a lot. i’ve been thinking about it tonight, reading about early queer publications and raids on gay bars, and how they were the main ways of queer expression back then. we live in times with far greater access to queerness — we’re broadly more accepted, technology gives us queers at our fingertips, and yet it’s not hard to feel lonely. certainly i wouldn’t wish to go back to the time of the lavender scare, but i can’t help but feel like as queer people become more normalized the idea of “community” among us inevitably will break down.

it’s not hard to imagine why, in my opinion. association solely based on common traits is the most fickle — human nature loves to divide and categorize individuals, and this isn’t even uniquely negative. we’re not naturally inclined to think so abstractly — pack animals at nature, we’re always willing to bow to the tides of social pressure even when it might not be a sound idea.

the viciousness people try to leverage what little social power they have in any “community” may never go away. it feels inevitable. it doesn’t help i feel largely disconnected from my own queerness due to things as simple as not liking a lot of the things “queer people” are into, at least in a stereotypical sense.

when i moved to san francisco i quickly tried my hand at getting into the “trans community” here so i could meet friends and find that community so many promise. i found out a lot out that community is locked behind a few social events that are living hell for an autistic dweeb like me. loud lesbian bars with EDM just aren’t my speed — my attempts at participating in this “community” ended mostly in regret, overstim, and retreating into my little turtle shell like every time i tried to reach out throughout my developing years. that’s not to say i didn’t ever successfully meet people and find connections, but that i just didn’t find “community” like i promised. the gateway events feel not aimed at queers, but a section of queers, ones interested in things i have no desire to partake in. this same thing happens with furries too — much of it is centered around cons which i just have very little appetite for despite my attempts at going to them since i started my adult life after college. the only community i really feel a real part of, even slightly, is one forged entirely within my extended polycule, and even that feels precarious given that i feel substantially different to many of my partners and metamours.

i feel like a social vagrant often. floating between different places and not feeling accepted wherever i go. i know part of it is me getting in my own way, im sure of it, but you’d feel like at some point someone would just try pulling you in, yeah?

at the end of the day most “community” feels like adhoc friend groups with some pizazz applied. this has happened in the past, happens now, and may never stop happening. people will always use each other for clout. “communities” in name only will serve to perpetuate hustle and certain social interests, never just association on an inherent trait.

am I just too neurodivergent for socializing? am I so much an alien I am doomed to a life of bouncing between people who all seem more capable of “community” than me? am i just the problem? or is community in of itself a problem?

for neurotypicals i imagine “common interest” groups work well. going to disc golf saturdays with the boys probably builds strong friendships. as a neurodivergent person i find those groups scary — not just because of my general anxiety, but because of my past trauma trying to fit into neurotypical life and failing to.

i want this idea of community so many of us are convinced exists, but its so hard to see the proof. i would love a community founded on mutual love and respect, one inclusive of people with all sensory needs, one based on interest in each other and not board games or intoxicated clubbing. i guess thats why im so into polyamory — it feels like my only legitimate venue for social attention that doesn’t give me panic attacks just for existing in.

do i dislike these events because i just don’t vibe with them? or is it just a fear of rejection? i have no idea. i’d like to see a therapist and hash this out but they’re so expensive and i’m so unsmployed.

i hope that community is out there. it doesn’t need to be perfect, but it needs to be better than i’ve experienced. am i just expecting too much? do i just not do enough for myself? what do i need to do to not feel like an outcast even among my own kin?

[amandayetagain]

It's You | Fedex Secret Santa 2022

a red string soulmate au where Fitz can’t see his string, and Dex can see all of them. Dex’s parents weren’t soulmates- but they were in love, and shamed for it. So of course Dex doesn’t want to turn his back on his family by finding his soulmate. Only, he does- and has kept it a secret for five years. Things get complicated when his soulmate, Fitz Vacker, asks for his help to find the person on the other end of his string. Oops?

Finding the person on the other end of his red string had never been high on Dex’s list of priorities. Especially since he was one of the gifted few who saw all of the strings. Which obviously made it significantly more difficult. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy a challenge- just that he didn’t care.

His parents weren’t soulmates. But they were so in love, it was sickening to watch. Since they decided to essentially flip off society by getting married anyway, by daring to have children- they were ostracized. If his parents could be that happy together, the red strings didn’t really matter anymore, did they?

Yet Dex still found himself wondering. Who was tied to him? Did his soulmate want to find him? Had his soulmate tried to find him? Would something happen to his soulmate if they didn’t find him? Would they be shunned, like his own family? Did that mean he had a responsibility to at least try to find his soulmate?

It was a lot. 

Emphasis on the past tense. 

Five years ago, he had found his soulmate. 

“You’re lucky,” Biana complained, directing her grievance at Sophie and Keefe. “You two found each other the first week you were both at Foxfire. I learned Morse Code for my soulmate, and they won’t even tap back.”

“Have you considered that your soulmate doesn’t know Morse Code?” Fitz inquired. His little sister scoffed.

“Of course not. If my soulmate is anything like me, they would be trying their absolute hardest to communicate.”

“It could be an opposites-attract kind of situation,” Sophie suggested. 

“What a slacker.”

“At least you can see your string,” Fitz teased. 

He looked down at his pinky finger, tracing the invisible tie to his soulmate. He plucked at it as if it were from a guitar. Shit. Dex jolted upward as a twang vibrated through his body. A pang of guilt struck him, and he desperately grasped at a chance to change the subject.

“It isn’t a competition to see who’s got it the worst, okay? This is, frankly, depressing.”

“He’s right,” Linh piped. “The Neverseen are finally out of the picture, and you all have just found something else to latch onto. It’s not healthy! The elite levels are meant for figuring out what to do for eternity, not moping around over soulmates that you have forever to find.”

“With that logic, we also have forever to figure out our careers,” Tam pointed out, not looking up from his book.

Linh huffed, crossing her arms.

“Not the backup I was looking for, Tam.”

“I’ve managed perfectly well without a soulmate to help me. I've never needed one before, and I’m not about to start now.”

Despite agreeing with Tam, his words didn’t sit right with Dex.

------------------------------------------------------

The day had been going fine before Fitz showed up, if you could believe it. Dex’s mom had taken the triplets to Havenfield with Aunt Eda and Uncle Grady. Kesler was in the shop, so nobody was home to interrupt. Dex could just . . . be. Also, being home alone meant full access to the kitchen. No greedy siblings (or dad) to steal whatever he was cooking.

He didn’t even get to raid the pantry before the doorbell rang.

Making his way towards the door, Dex took a moment to mourn his free time. 

“Oh . . . hi, Fitz. Not to be rude, but . . . why are you here?”

His cheeks pink, and he grins, looking down at his feet. He tilted his head up slightly, aiming his abashed smile directly at Dex. 

“I need to talk to you about something. It’s pretty important- to me, at least.”

Dex stepped aside, allowing space for Fitz to come in. 

“What is it?”

Fitz straightened, taking a deep breath to seemingly summon courage. Dex had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what happened next. 

His instincts didn’t fail him.

“I need you to help me find my soulmate.”

Dex stumbled backwards, eyes widening. He could feel his heartbeat accelerate, breaths coming short and fast. How did Fitz even know he could help with that? That he could see the strings?

“Sophie didn’t mean to tell me- it just came up in cognate training. And since I can’t see my string . . . I figured you could help me.”

If you’d bother to try, you’d know I’m right here, he wanted to scream. Did you really just give up because you can’t see your string?

“Why should I help you,” he dared, crossing his arms. 

Fitz’s expression morphed to one of confusion, pained. As if he’d just been slapped by someone he cared for. 

“Because . . . we’re, or at least I thought we were . . . friends.”

“Friends.”

“Yeah! After the prison break on Exile, I thought we were good.” His eyes dropped to a ring he wore on his right ring finger. “You even gave me a panic ring.”

“I gave everyone a panic ring,” Dex said, softening.

“You still didn’t have to give me one. I can go- I guess I just, um,” he struggled to find the right words. “I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’ll-I’m just going to,” he stumbled backwards, laughing it off. “Go. I’ll go. Um, that’s probably a good idea.”

“Don’t. I’ll help you. Come in.”

He turned, walking briskly back to the kitchen. Fitz rushed behind him, closing the door. 

“Really? You will?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

“I’ve thought about it a ton,” Fitz said, getting down to business. “And it might be harder, but I think it's best to look for them at an event where most of the population will be. The Celestial Festival is perfect, we can just levitate above, and the string will be easy to see. I can make it up to you however you want.”

“You’re making this sound like a transaction.”

And if Dex was being smart about this, he would treat it like one. When Fitz was around, things got complicated.

“Well- I thought-”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” 

Such a dangerous thing to be.

Dex could practically feel the warmth of Fitz’s blush from the other side of the cabinet door.

“Right.”

He probably shouldn’t take so much joy in being the cause of Fitz’s blush- or his entire dilemma, but he finally got why Keefe liked to play the “Make Foster Blush Game” so much. It was kind of intoxicating. 

“Ripplenuts? They’re roasted.”

“Uh, sure.”

“So, what now?”

Fitz raked a hand through his hair, looking sheepish.

“I didn’t think that far, to be honest. Would you be against . . . hanging out? The Celestial Festival is this weekend, and I have to bring a date, and since you’re going to be there with me anyway, we could, you know, go together?”

“Are you sure your family would be okay with that?”

He shrugged.

“They’re the ones making me bring someone, so they don’t really have a choice in the matter.”

“That’s kind of surprising,” Dex commented, sitting down. “That your family is making you bring a date- I thought they were kind of strict when it comes to soulmate stuff.”

“They are. Dating anyone before your soulmate is viewed as a practice relationship. It supposedly helps you better commit to a real relationship with your soulmate. It’s kind of manipulative, but as long as both parties know what they signed up for, it’s fine. It’s pretty common, actually.”

Dex . . . didn’t know how to feel.

Did his parents think they could shelter this from him? Was he a practice date? A fake practice date? Did he want to be Fitz’s date?

That would certainly simplify things. 

He shouldn’t be, though. Distance was key to indifference. And as long as Dex could at least act like he didn’t care, hopefully it would be on its way to becoming reality.

“It’ll be nice to go without having to worry if Sophie will create a big enough spectacle to impress the Council, or if the Neverseen will attack,” Fitz reasoned, blushing softly. “The former was still rather enjoyable though.”

The former. 

That was what- four? Four-ish years ago?

After Sophie had gotten her abilities reset, she was under enormous pressure to dazzle the entire elvin world with Silveny as the finale to Orem’s performance. What made it even more stressful was that Silveny had recently broken her wing. It also didn’t help that taking the alicorn to go get her abilities reset was an act of treason (according to Bronte). And since Grady had let her go, the Council had to decide on a punishment.

It was a hectic time.

But while he was there, he realized that Fitz, Keefe, and Biana weren’t just Sophie’s friends- they were his too. 

“What do you mean you’ve never been to a Celestial Festival,” Fitz had gasped, mouth agape. Everyone goes!”

“Clearly not everyone.”

“Why?”

“We usually watch a movie instead. My parents said it wouldn’t be the same without Uncle Grady and Aunt Eda, and they haven’t been up for it since before I was born.”

Right. Jolie’s death. 

“At least they’re doing better now,” he offered.

“Yeah. I feel like I barely know them- they’re so much happier now. Where’s your family?”

He shrugged, gesturing towards a cacophony of Vackers. 

“Somewhere in there. Keefe and Biana got a little trapped.”

“Aren’t you going to save them?”

“Nah.”

Fitz turned back to face Dex, resting on his side. Even under at least three layers of tailored clothes, he was shivering, breath puffing out into the air. A fluff-lined hood framed his face, snowflakes caught in his eyelashes.

“Didn’t your parents teach you temperature regulation?” Dex asked, reaching out to feel how cold Fitz’s pink cheeks were with the back of his hand. “You come here every year, don’t you?”

He blushed at the touch, eyes widening the tiniest bit.

“I’m pretty sure your parents are the only ones unique enough to do that.”

“You mean weird.”

“Yeah,” Fitz agreed. “But weird isn’t a bad thing.”

A gentle smile played across Dex’s face.

Fitz shifted closer, imitating what Dex had done-was still doing- to estimate his temperature.

“You know your lips are going to get chapped, right?”

“I came prepared,” Fitz exclaimed, sitting up abruptly to dig through his pockets. He pulled out a tube of chapstick triumphantly, eyes sparkling. He grinned, carefully covering his lips in deep concentration.

And for some indecipherable reason, Dex couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Sure. For convenience.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

He had the nerve to be disappointed when this was all to find his soulmate? This was his plan, not Dex’s. It also didn’t really sit right, being a ‘practice date.’ Even if he was Fitz’s soulmate. A lot of things hadn’t been sitting right, recently.

------------------------------------------------------

The night of the Celestial Festival came far too quickly.

“Nobody wants to miss the finale,” Fitz informs Dex. “It’ll have the most highly concentrated number of elves.”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember.”

Dex tries and fails to keep a smile from cracking his solemn facade. His soulmate was just so serious. It was a sharp contrast from what he had grown up with, messing with nobles in Slurp and Burps, having snowball fights in the yard.

“We’ve gone over it a million times,” Dex continues. “It’s going to be fine. You can relax. The Celestial Festival is supposed to be fun, right?”

“Right.”

He exhales, tension leaving his body.

“Better?”

“Much.”

Fitz flashed Dex a smile, and fuck, Dex was screwed. What was he even doing? All it took was a soft smile and warm, trusting eyes, and his heart practically stopped. Where were his defenses when he needed them? When had he dropped his guard?

“Are you alright,” he asked, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “Dex?”

“Y-yeah,” Dex stammered. He had simply lost his control over his respiratory system. No big deal. 

“Are you sure?”

A chorus of screams raced through Dex’s mind. No! He was not alright! He was being too sweet with his double-checking, and worried forehead crease, and hands reaching out to hold Dex’s, and oh stars, Fitz’s eyes hadn’t once left Dex’s.

He broke their gaze, looking down at their fingers twined together.

“You don’t have to do this,” Fitz added. His breath was warm against Dex’s forehead, and Dex cursed his growth spurt for stopping before he could at least match Fitz’s height. “We can stay down here, and watch the show.”

His eyes flicked back up to Fitz’s, vulnerable as hell.

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fitz was trying so goddamn hard. He was being so fucking considerate, and if he didn’t know him so well, Dex might have believed he was fine. 

“Screw you, Fitz Vacker,” Dex cursed, resting his forehead on Fitz's chest. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

Dex let go of Fitz’s hands, fisting his own in the thick fabric at Fitz’s hips. And that boy, that sweet, sweet boy, hugged him.

“Give me your hand,” Dex managed, voice muffled.

It took a beat for Fitz to respond.

“Uh, no.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s about your string.”

“I got that,” he said, frustrated. “I don’t care.”

Dex drew back, searching Fitz’s face for some sign of a lie, a clue of some sort to help him comprehend the statement. But he came up empty. 

“Dex.”

“Give me a minute,” Dex said, shaking his head. “Give me a minute.”

“Dex . . . I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to find my soulmate. Look at your parents! That could be us!”

“I never really aspired to become my parents,” Dex stammered. 

“Look, I’ve got my own issues to work through, with whatever the hell the Vacker Legacy is- or was, and expectations, and if I’m being totally honest here, I didn’t ask you to help me find my soulmate so you could actually find my soulmate. I just wanted an excuse,” he confessed, shoulders sagging. “To be with you.”

“You know you don’t actually need an excuse to spend time with me? And if I’m being totally honest, this is kind of out of the blue for me?”

“I’m sorry about that- this hasn’t been going at all the way I wanted it to- let me start over.”

Dex nodded, squeezing Fitz’s hand.

“Would you, Dex Dizznee, want to go out with me, Fitz Vacker, on a real date? None of the not-soulmates business messing it up?”

“About that,” Dex started. “Not to undermine your dramatic confession and rejection of prevalent societal norms, but . . .”

He took Fitz’s other hand, placing it on top of their string.

They met eyes, Fitz at a loss.

“Go on.”

He ran his fingertips across the string, slowly stopping as he came to the other end.

“It’s not going through you.”

“It’s not going through me.”

“It’s tied to you.”

“Yup,” Dex agreed, trying desperately to keep his cool.

Fitz sat down, drawing his knees to his chest. His eyes were wide, errantly blinking.

Dex sat down next to him, making sure to give his soulmate some breathing room. He looked like his brain was going hundreds of miles an hour. It was . . . kind of cute, situation aside.

“How . . . how long have you known?”

“Well, I was pretty sure it was you the day you called me Deck-” Fitz’s cheeks heated “-but I was absolutely certain after the break on Exile,” he admitted. “I didn’t really know how to feel about it. I knew how I was supposed to feel about it, if I was a normal kid, born into a normal family, but I’m not. My parents told me they’d be happy no matter what choice I made. It’s probably true- but it’s still a loaded decision.”

“Then how am I supposed to tell you,” Fitz managed, voice breaking. “I’m so glad it’s you?”

“You just did.”

Fitz buried his face in his hands, ineffectively raking a mittened hand through his hair as he looked back at his soulmate. Wow, his soulmate. They were soulmates.

“Stars, Dex- I’m so glad it’s you.”

Dex tackled Fitz in a hug, laughing. 

“And I thought I was a dork.”

“I’m not entirely sure what that word means, but it sounds like an insult.”

“I can’t believe you know.”

“That you’re my soulmate, or that I’m your soulmate?”

“At risk of sounding self-obsessed, the latter,” Dex clarified, chest light. Sharing a secret had never felt so good. It was freeing, almost.

“It’s you,” Fitz whispered, head nestled against Dex’s neck.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

@booksscienceandmath @squishmallow36

[n41r]

Follow up to last ask but first of aaaaaa, thanks a lot and really sorry on the long ask there! Got a small idea that after chapter 4, the level threat just goes on to world danger kind of shenanigans. But still, I tend to go on long rambles on things I'm interested in so hope that's alright. What I was trying to ask on last ask was if you have other interpertations of what you posted about us being Oreca Battlers, inspirations are the best for trying to figure out what's going on inside Oreca despite having no clue on what the lore each chapter have. Another thing too for the OSTs too, they're distinct from one another that if the same character there's at least at different tempos and different kinds of musics as if conveying something it's just aaaaa-

P.S. I dunno if it's normal on what happened when I was playing Oreca back at Artha the same day I said in one of my asks before, but I saw what's called the Sky Kingdom on the top corner of new chapter 2 (basically Rock's chapter if I were to call it). I didn't go there cause I'm scared cause what if something strong came out and finish things in one move, that and me not knowing what to pick after so long not playing Oreca. I dunno if that area means anything but likely a strong opponent team, so I just want to ask if it's just me imagining things or not. (^^;) Also poor Balt having his teammates being two Demon Kings, where are his comrades- /j

No problem, you don't need to feel sorry for sending long asks! I understand where you come from, because if given the chance, I would absolutely goes unto a rambling train ride about stuff I'm obsessed about as well! Which is why I opened my tumblr account again and start to make blog entries here-

Hmm, I don't have much other interpretation of a human battler other than being partner, contractor, and/or friends with the monsters we met along the journey

There might have been some interesting take on Demizu Posuka's manga for Ginger Ale since the story is about an Oreca monster who travels to the human world, and there is a monster who are living alongside humans (it's Ramune, if I'm not wrong)

Also, I see you've found your way unto the Sky Temple I actually find my way unto the Sky Temple as well back on December!

This is one of the rare boss only places that shows up on the chapter selection, just like the Ghost Ship for the bosses from Ch. 1 and Ch. 5, the tornado for bosses from Ch. 2 and Ch. 6, and so on (These bosses doesn't include Demon Kings as far as I know, but I can't find info on the JP fanwiki and people rarely talked about it-)

Sky temple in particular is a special stage where you can meet (almost?) all of the Angel race monsters in the game, like Lucifer, Michael, Uriel, Sariel, etc. And what is special from Boss only places like this are, no matter if you lose or win, a rare drop is guaranteed!

That's how I got the God Circle from Michael, the crown from Beelzebub, candleholder from Simon, and other boss items

And for Balt's current predicament...

To encounter Darkness Magica (my white whale-), you need a team of around 10~12★ stars total And most of Balt's comrade that are in my team doesn't really fulfill the condition, so I can't really use them-

Beside, I do need to train Beelzebub and Balt's command reels, because I aim to get his 4★ class change as well, so he will be paired up with the Demon Kings for a good while-

[randomidiocyncrazies]

akdsfjshdsfjhlakdsjfhalksfhasjk screaming crying frothing at the mouth at the latest ep of Gwitch!!!!! i’m real sad we have to wait an extra week for the next ep.....

some thoughts in no particular order under the cut:

Shaddiq has apparently “always intended” to break up the Benerit Group, and his posse are actively working towards that...

So the question is: why? We know that Grassely Defense used to lead the MS Development Council (in the prologue), but Delling took control and formed the Cathedra & the Benerit Group after he arranged to wipe out the Vanadis Institute. Is killing Delling and breaking up the Benerit Group revenge on Delling for taking over and displacing Grassely as the top dog, or is it just because Shaddiq is sick of the current status quo? Is Shaddiq doing this for his adoptive father, or does he actually resent the man?

For what it’s worth, I think Grassely CEO does value Shaddiq, and so far we’ve seen no evidence that he had ever abused his adoptive son—however, their relationship is still fundamentally unequal in that Shaddiq’s position is reliant on performing the role of “Grassely CEO’s adoptive son” well. The comment that Shaddiq will lose his position should he fail could definitely be read as a threat, though my personal interpretation of it is that it’s a reminder that there are limits to his adoptive father’s influence.

(Also, right now my headcanon is that at least some of Shaddiq’s squad are orphans like him—maybe they grew up together, which explains why Shaddiq is so close to them. It is pretty weird that all of them are girls though.)

Space Assembly League

And speaking of people who are sick of the status quo, the lady who said “space needs some new rules” back in episode 2 is back! I admit, I forgot what the Space Assembly League is or even if we’re supposed to know who they are... In any case, Miorine networking with them should be fun.

Miorine and Guel

It’s interesting to me that both Miorine and Guel had attempted to run away from the Academy, and in Guel’s case actually succeeded. Guel is an obvious foil to Miorine—though last episode drew a connection between Suletta and Guel with the whole “your parent is important to you, my parent is important to me too” conversation, imo Guel and Miorine have many more ‘obvious’ similarities regarding their tyrannical parents and lack of control in their circumstances. I am excited about the development of Guel and Miorine as narrative foils, and I hope this gets explored in depth in future episodes.

The different trajectories these characters are on to gain essentially the same things (freedom and genuine respect) is really fascinating: Guel starts off as an asshole who has power because of his family’s influence, as well as his unbroken win record, while Miorine was looked down upon by all her peers despite being Delling’s daughter. Miorine is frequently shown to be treated as an accessory by everyone around her, and in episode 2 we see that Guel is only valued as long as he doesn’t deviate from his father’s expectations, and with each new episode we see that his father basically treats him the same way Delling treats Miorine—both their wishes are overruled by their fathers, and the children get no respect from the parents.

Then the gala episode saw Miorine leverage her connection to her father, and we see her relationship with him having a slight improvement in this episode; on the other hand, this episode sees Guel shedding his family’s name entirely to stand on his own by working a ‘common’ job in a simple existence—which was what Miorine was aiming for back in ep 1. Miorine gains autonomy and respect by entering the system as a company owner; Guel—sorry, Bob—experiences freedom and camaraderie by being just another unremarkable guy doing a job and living a quiet life.... until the Dawn of Fold attacked.

Dawn of Fold

I haven’t made up my mind about the two Gundams(?) that the Dawn of Fold has yet—maybe Prospera shared the tech and had been developing Gundams on Earth? After all, Ochs Earth was involved in the research conducted at the Vanadis Institute... Although Earth is very poor, Aerial was developed (or upgraded) on Mercury, which is also poor. And the way the two girls dismissed Gundam Inc.’s advertisement shows that they consider themselves far more knowledgeable about the topic, and the ways Gundams should be used (which is to wage wars, probably).

I think Nika being associated with a mercenary group on Earth and is potentially attending the school as a spy is a pretty good twist! I’ve said before that the school’s security is ridiculously lax, considering a substantial number of VIPs in the next generation of current Benerit Group members attend the Academy—all it takes is one accident (or “accident”) to wipe out or weaken the top dogs in the Group. The reveal of Nika’s connection to Dawn of Fold also explains the nuances in her dynamic with Shaddiq, and I’m interested to know how they started working together (or, more like how she started working for him.)

Suletta’s heartbreak

As Miorine’s relationship with her father improves, her relationship with Suletta worsens. I do think there’s a little bit of miscommunication going on: Miorine’s used to doing everything by herself because she had no power before, so imo she probably sees being able to actually hire gardeners and delegate tasks as a very good thing—it means she can trust that her wants are respected. And with how busy Suletta is, she thinks she’s genuinely helping Suletta—besides, she doesn’t want to burden Suletta (and probably thinks Suletta was interested to go on a date with “Elan”...)

However, she doesn’t realize that Suletta doesn’t mind the busywork, because it’s Miorine who's asking her to do it. For all of Miorine’s rage about her father ignoring her—silencing her voice—she herself isn’t really listening to Suletta either.

Seems like she is her father’s daughter after all... but I’m optimistic that it’ll turn out differently with Suletta.

The new Elan (El5n)

El5n is under orders to seduce Suletta to get to Aerial, and with the recent heartbreak she might fall for his charms—he might be the Touga analogue, since I have increasing doubts about Shaddiq’s playboy persona.

Also, I can’t help but think choosing El5n might bite the Peil CEOs and the real Elan (El0n) in the ass, since they made a point to show how much of a schemer with a “wicked personality” he is in his brief appearance.

(Like... if El5n and El0n are so similar, what makes El0n so secure that El5n wouldn’t take his place for real? We also don’t know El0n’s relation to the Peil CEOs—or if the CEOs even have the most authority in Peil, and aren’t just the face of the corporation—so who’s to say that his position is as secure as he thinks?)

Misc: Secilia and Rouji

I know this is so not the point, but I’m really curious about them—they don’t seem affiliated with any of the Big Three, so why are they on the Duel Committee? We have no idea what their affiliation is, and we have no idea what they actually do: they certainly don’t pilot, and only seem to handle the admin tasks. So why are they there? Why are they specifically trusted to handle these things and have the privilege(?) of being on the Council? Like, I get that it might look bad if only the people affiliated with the Big Three are on the committee, so for appearance’s sake they need another party who’s “neutral”, but why specifically these two (or the companies they’re affiliated with)?