#which obviously is no help here
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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THE HEART KILLERS (2024-2025) เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า dir. Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#joong archen#dunk natachai#tuserhidden#tusersilence#tobelle#userrlana#userlinnea#vishingwell#zeystuff#gif: thk#you know what I wanted to upload this despite maybe there is already the same set out there... which I rarely upload anymore if I know#but I have things to say about this scene... I feel like this is the first genuine conversation they had in all the episodes so far#as the cautious guy Fadel is he must've searched style beforehand (which we don't see but he must've) so which also means he knew about#his mother not being alive and yes obviously also him working at the garage but this is the first time fadel asked style things out of#curiosity... (even if he knew in my opinion) and style being so comfortable with fadel that he forgot that he's talking to a hitman#it's the guy he's interested in. he forgot for a split second whom he talking to and trusted him enough to tell all about these#things about him which is kinda personal at least for some yet here we are with one who's trusting the other enough to tell things#and fadel is surprised!! no one can convince me otherwise I might be delulu but like i said i believe he already knows all of this#yet he asked and didn't expect that style would be so open about all this to tell him this the 6th and 8th gif tells a lot#fadel is still trying to figure style out but I feel like the conversation here and at the garage where fadel saw himself#style in working mode and how he helps out a lot at the garage and the conversation how his dad became his most important person#added a lot to his trust barometer when it comes to style. he sees him in a different perspective. light whatever you wanna call it#but it definitely trust his view on style a bit. I already talked a lot under my own set so I'll stop
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the qiong ding peak disciples 100% have petty beef with lbh for stealing their favourite didi lmao
they're not gonna Actually beat him up (without Reason) but they're very emphatic about how thoroughly they WILL if lbh messes with sy. it's like a shovel talk that never ends
sy isn't actually completely oblivious to whats going on but he doesn't get why they're like this and he thinks theyre being fucking stupid (and he trusts them to not actually bully binghe) so he's elected to ignore their antics entirely
#arts#mottau#next chapter almost done so im letting these loose now#hou jingxing is standing on the Box of Dramatic Height Effect in the first image. she is actually shorter than lbh#bai yunqi does not get in on their antics but he is Watching lbh to make sure he's not Problem#lbh is not scared of these bitches he WILL fight for the right to hang out with sy if he has to#most of this (particularly for hou jingxing + li yanying) is just childish jealousy over how much sy obviously likes spending time with lbh#part of it is that having an interested alpha who they don't know hovering around the omega of their group#does clock as a Potential Threat on a purely instinctual level#but there is also a Not Insignificant portion of this (esp for bai yunqi)#which is that they met sy when he couldnt talk or walk on his own and clung to yqy like his life depended on it#its sort of left an impression on them! esp bc nowadays its very clear he wasn't like that because thats normal for him/his preference/etc#the younger two especially probably wouldnt even be able to put into words that its something that worries them but it does all the same#lbh on the other hand only met sy after he was already growing MUCH more independent#he's never known sy as anything other than how he is now. what he DOES know is that sy was the first person who ever REALLY helped him here#so he's never thought of sy as someone who needs to be sheltered or protected even though sy is a few years younger than him#and that's a HUGE part of why sy spends so much time with him
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sometimes scrolling tumblr as a poor person is like being slapped in the face with classism over and over again. really have come to understand that the majority of posts on this site are made by people with at least middle class earnings, and geared at those same people or higher. that one poll that was like "how much did your parents make" and of thousands and thousands of votes 100k+ was the most picked with over 25%? oof. eye opening. and I don't mean this in a shamey way or anything, people are clearly speaking from their own lived experience and if you've never been dirt poor it can be hard to conceptualize, even if you've been kinda poor it's hard to know what life on foodstamps and hud is like until you've been there, and I think that's where a lot of broad spectrum assumptive takes are coming from. just a lack of understanding of who the audience actually is
#but also people with money tend to be way less vocal about it or their privelege than sad poor people#very much a read between the lines thing#everything in society is tbh#weather or not somebody has money and has experienced hardship means so much to their being#obviously wealthy people can have empathy and share their wealth as plenty here do#but the assumptive tones with which things are spread makes being here as a poor person. bad#like i feel bad for not having money and no amount of telling me to get over it will help cuz i still dont have fucking money
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Katniss describes three things:
Food
How good Peeta is at manipulating the media
The Horrors
#she like really loves describing food#which makes A LOT of sense since she’s had to think about it so much#and obviously The Horrors are a point of note in the series about The Horrors#but how much she talks about how good Peeta is at media manipulation really stands out#I mean sure a lot of the time she thinks he’s doing it to lie#but the reader can see that a lot of the time it’s either sincere or to help her#‘she came here with me’#’if it weren’t for the baby’#this drama king#katniss and peeta#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#thg series
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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so far in the world of thamepo we've seen over and over that silently sacrificing your own happiness for the good of someone you love is ultimately never the way to go (thame tried it for the sake of the other mars members, jun for thame, and inevitably all the sacrifices po made for his ex who then promptly dumped him also feature in there), so my god, i hope that this well-intentioned lie of gam's comes to light at some point asap and she and pepper still get their happy end
#obviously the topic of sacrificing personal happiness is intricately linked to the whole idol culture thing they're delving into#the company is constantly asking them to do that. the fans are LOUDLY asking it in this episode.#the way the company sold out pepper to save thame fits into this discussion too. which by the way!! awful and i really loved it#the storytelling of this show!!! i keep being bowled over by how Good all of it is. how incredibly well done#and also. calls to mind real cases of this exact thing happening. which for me mostly makes me think about rock hudson#and i like that. a little classic hollywood feels somehow wildly appropriate for this show#*#thamepo#thamepo the series#note: when i wrote 'jun for thame' i was thinking about jun's stance on things all the way at the start of the series#and not when he stepped back from po. however. i do still interpret that as. yes he had real interest#which then could arguably be an example that plays against my nice little list of moments where sacrifice isn't the way to go#HOWEVER. i think there is also something to be said about communication here#sacrifice without informing whoever you're doing it for that you're trying to help them = noble but ill-advised#talking it out (the way thame made them do) and not pursuing something because your friend's heart would break = different maybe?#and also. to be fair. stepping back from pursuing a romantic partner who is openly interested in someone else is different anyway#that's not falling on a sword. it's more like choosing not to run headfirst into a wall for no reason
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toying with the idea of having merrill and hawke platonically co-parenting a child (perhaps children plural? to maximize the potential chaos you understand) together by the time of veilguard, and that is part of why varric triple underlined that 'NO you are NOT coming with me on this one do you think I'm into recreationally creating orphans hawke???? after all the years we've known each other is that what you think my hobby is???? stay here and keep the home fires burning or so help me I'll ask aveline to sit on you the whole time I swear it on my perfect disdain for the merchant's guild. ffs. (infinite affection so deep it lives like an ache in my soul you're my best friend in all the world and I need to know you'll be okay somewhere out there if I'm going to do this thing. I can close a lot of stories when their time has come but please not this one. let me keep this one)'
#merrill and hawke's friendship is so special to me and this idea makes me feel all ❤️❤️😭😭❤️😭 inside#the rest of them chip in sometimes too when they're around of course. it takes a fucked up hellhole of a city to raise a child etc.#I'm imagining bethany bringing apprentices home (and maybe having children of her own?) and merrill taking care of some#of the elven orphans from the alienage -- the amell estate being full of children's laughter (and squabbling) all hours of the day :')#my hawke is aroace so he probably never expected to have a family like that but y'know. some men have dadhood thrust upon them#without going through any of the expected stages beforehand hahaha I think he has great potential. dad jokes the likes of which#the world has not seen since the days malcolm hawke walked thedas. family traditions being furthered here#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age 2#hawke#varric tethras#merrill#the idea of hawke -- through a series of bizarre events as is always the case with him -- ending up with a vashoth or half-vashoth child#to raise... also a consideration#deemed the city's foremost expert on the qunari for having spoken to them like twice and also chopped the arishok's head off#so we brought this baby to you champion no one else knew what to do with it. your problem now (the garrett hawke story)#I love veilguard stupidly much obviously but my heart of heart is always in kirkwall it can't be helped
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oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man

it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
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the fun thing about crippling imposter syndrome and ridiculously prolonged delayed gratification is that they do this cool combo move where they invent an especially ominous form of anxiety that is insidious and subliminal but reaches into me through to the tips of my fingers like an evil little poison impossible to ignore but also impossible to detect except in the way my jaw aches in the morning and the way i find myself unironically saying "this is the longest week ever" on a forking monday afternoon
#HELPPPPPP is it march 17 yet. HELP!!!! HELPPPPP HELP HELPhELP#this is a post about residency match. i WILL throw up if i think too hard about it#it's been so long since interview season that i can't remember the feeling of#'that went pretty well! i think they liked me! i feel good about myself!' even if rationally i know that i had those feelings at the time#the only thing left is repeated informational emails about what to do if you don't match#and the 13% of ppl who didn't match w the same number of interviews as me last year#and there is nowhere for me to seek validation that i'm overreacting bc this whole system is so nebulous and unpredictable#by the time march 17 rolls around i'll be so pessimistic that the expectation will be 'now i can start planning for re-applying'#which is such an insane thing to do. obviously it happens to people but to EXPECT it to happen with my application is kind of stupid#And Yet Here I Am#help.#it's fine. objectively i think my chances are reasonably high. i should be excited for friday.#i WILL be excited for friday if monday goes well. i just want to know NOW if monday is gonna go well bc this feeling is only getting worse#it's fine. thanks for reading. on the bright side it's 65 degrees today! gonna take a walk and then play biddy games and try to forget lmao#trust me you will all know how it goes on monday :)#text#nova shh#personal#academia#struggle bus
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& by the way i literally CONSTANTLY think about how loop uses the partys titles to create distance to remind themself that those arent 'their versions' of them. that theyre not loops party anymore. and yet and yet and yet
#talk tag#i think about 'and because of you bonnie was-' DAILYYYYYY#god. god. they care s mcuhghfjkbjkdklj#i think that may be the only time until twohats that they ever use any of the partys names. except! for reminding sif if u get that dialogu#which. im also normal about. clearly obviously absolutely#they create that distance as much as they can and yet. for siffrin.#godddddd i need to be sedated#isat spoilers#okay oh my god i went back to check to make sure i was right and turns out i forgor a couple of times both of which make me even more ill#one is technically under the umbrella of twohats bc its at the very end when loop says theyll need to accept everyones thanks. and they say#-everyones names. and the other is at the very very beginning in the initial battle tutorial they say everyones names + stats#(which btw PROVES MY POINT abt so much of loops help going under the radar bc in any other game itd just be a regular tutorial with no-#-in universe correlation or effect)#but they start with 'heres some basic stats about you and your party members to remember' and i. the. like realistically the explanation-#-for loop using their names instead of titles. is bc adrienne thought using their titles would make it too obvious someone else was talking#since u havent met loop yet at that point and dont know its not a regular tutorial thats only directed at the player and not the character#But Also: heres some things you should remember about your party members [lists their names]#im normal. im fine and normal. prommy#... okay it turns out they also say isabeaus name when giving the paper mache hands tutorial. no idea what to make of that one aklfjdlksjf#and after the change god event when u bring it up they say 'mirabelles statue'#And Thats It. fascinating. what is the logic there#isatposting
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DOOM POSTING CANCELED

DAGGER MOTH I THINK. I’m FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OHHHHHH
#IM SO HAPPY AAAAAA FIRST MOTH IVE SEEN IN. SO LONG.#and the first moth I’ve seen when I’ve had the knowledge to appreciate moths!!! this is so awesome#this week has been amazing for bugs#it’s very still I don’t know why. hasn’t moved an inch in a few minutes#not really sure why I’m not well versed on moth behavior#hopefully I didn’t fuck anything up by practically lunging at it with a camera and trying to find where it ran off too#I will fully admit to needing to work on giving bugs their personal space you don’t have to tell me#I don’t Think I did anything to it though….the most I did was give it a tap to see if it was still alive once it went still#so I don’t think I like. killed it. hopefully#it’s probably just cold it’s like 50f out and got down into the low 30s last night so this lil guy is probably real chilly :(#I’m guessing that’s the case bc when I saw it it was vibrating its wings a lot#which I Think is a method used to help them warm up for flight. source: I looked it up 5 minutes ago#not a moth expert I fear. just an enthusiast#not sure what to do with this lil dude. like obviously I should leave it be—#—but it’s right here out in the open with a ton of birds around in the cold. so like. not peak moth environment#but again I guess I shouldn’t mess with nature by keeping it as a pet. sad.#weird why it’s out during the day. I know moths aren’t strictly nocturnal but it’s weird the first one I see is out during the day#really feeling that meme ‘if you’re cold they’re cold too. bring them inside!#like….yeah…yeah I am kinda cold….I bet this guy is too…..#not moving…..hope it’s not dead…..
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I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?
Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate
-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)
-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.
-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.
Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.
-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.
But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')
In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.
All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.
-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?
-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.
I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.
WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.
And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.
Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.
#Sorry this turned into a 100000 word essay on The Iliad it can't be helped#I read Circe by the same author and thought it was like.. better? Definitely not great just less aggravating and kind of boring#Just rote 'you heard about this villainous woman from a Greek myth... Here's the REAL story' shit#It did have a few things I thought were good I remember it starting kind of strong and then just going limp for the remaining duration#I think part of it is that in that case she's expanding on a figure that Didn't have a whole lot of characterization in the source so#like. She had to actually Expand The Character#Again Silence of the Girls is the only Greek Mythology Retelling I have like....positive?.leaning positive? feelings towards#I've got BIG issues with it too but it does pretty much the exact opposite of everything I'm mad at SOA for and in some very#compelling ways (it's just that the author seems way more interested in Achilles and Patroclus than The Main Character Briseis#to the point of randomly starting to have Achilles POV interjections (which I thought were Good in of themselves but#really really really really really really really didn't need to be there) and then get kind of lampshaded by Briseis narrating 'I guess I#was trapped in Achilles' story the whole time lol!!!!!!')#It undermines the book on both a thematic level and just like. a construction level like it's real sloppy at times.#Also the Briseis POV sometimes has these like really out of place Author Mouthpiece Moments where she's very obviously#Stating The Point to the audience and it's like yeah we get it. We get it.#Wow in the scene were our mostly silent enslaved protagonist removes the gag from the mouth of a dead sacrificed girl as a#small but significant act of defiance and grieving in a book called 'Silence of the Girls' you inserted an ironic repeat of the line#'silence befits a woman'. in italics even. Thanks for that. I could not possibly have grasped the meaning of this scene if you didn't#spell it out for me like that. Thank you.#Actually hang on the only Greek mythology retelling I have unequivocally positive feelings for are the 'Minotaur Forgiving'#songs on 'This One's For The Dancer And This One's For The Dancer's Bouquet'. Fully love it. Like not just as songs I think it#does function well as a narrative and engages with and expands on the source in really beautiful and creative ways
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Where my Eddie meta differs from the popular fanon is I don't think all his problems are because he's gay and I don't think kissing a man would heal him or really benefit him much at all. (He is gay but that's not important right now)
#adding the last line so people dont think this is a straight eddie post#people like to go on about repression but the thing is i dont think hes repressing being gay#i think he genuinely doesnt know#buck 🤝 eddie thinking everyone checks out men#whether he is gay or bi or whatever he clearly believes he is attracted to women and is trying in his relationships#and is confused when they dont work out#obviously his gayest relationship/breakup was ana because they were going to d- shot by fox snipers#but to him he just saw it as him losing attraction#(there is gay meta you could do here with his reaction to that being to just stick it out and his only other real relationship at that point#having been with shannon the mother of his child)#yet for some reason people seem to have decided he knows hes gay and is stringing women along??#if eddie knew he was gay i really believe he would not date#and also he would already be with buck but this aint about him#anyway my main thing is eddie has a lot of problems and torments but i dont think being gay is one of them#and even if he knew he was gay that would not help much in this scenario besides being with his soulmate#which would heal him in many ways#but the chris and his parents problems would still be there#and kissing a random man or being with a random man would do nothing for him#buck had to realize that while it was important to realize he was bi it also didnt heal him#i dont think eddie would even have that i really think he would just go oh okay well anyway#im rambling its not even 9am but back to the repression repressing it would require him to know it and i dont think he does#and argument could be made for him repressing his love for buck but i dont think thats exactly it either#i might make a another post more about that so im going to hold that thought#but eddie is typically very self aware so maybe thats soke of where the idea comes from but in line with that self awareness#i dont think he would date women or say hes straight if he was aware he was gay even if it was something he was repressing#(i also dont really think he would repress being gay if he did know)#eddie diaz#original txt.
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i love laslow and nyx’s supports and i love how they go from trauma dump central in the b support




to making fun of their angst in the a


like theyre soooo lame and it makes me emo and every time i watch this support i kick my feet and twirl my hair theyre SOOOOOOO SICKENING. WHO WROTE THIS. WHOOOOOOO
#ann plays fates#THIS IS MY LAST GAMEPLAY (‘gameplay’ im reading supports and nothing else) POST OF THE NIGHT I SWEAR#IM DONE#i just have a lot of meaningless thoughts im having a lot of fun#i forgot how much i love these characters its been so long#but yeah i feel like i post about this convo a lot but its always just a different part of it#but its not my fault the whole thing is SO good#i love them so much… definition of comfort hets#even if theyre both definitely bisexual#las also has like aspec stuff going on as well but thats neither here nor there#theyre just sooooo…#im so into the ‘seeing the worst in yourself but the best in the other person’ thing#and they do it so well#bc its like u see their angst and where it comes from and it really is all so unfathomable#and with laslow like obviously the other two could feel the same but hes very much the most introspective of the three#and ive talked about it before but his relationship with death is very different than the other two#and so i think for him to get wrapped up in his own self loathing with this is so much fun#AND ALSO THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU FIGURE OUT HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR LEAVING THE BAD TIMELINE?!#HE DOESNT TALK ABOUT IT ANYWHERE ELSE (to my knowledge?!)#and then with nyx i feel like a lot of her supports are about her helping others#which makes sense! she wants to repent and this is how shes doing it#but i think for laslow to come along and tell her there is someone like her out there (him!!) can help her come out of her isolation a bit#and its j really sweet#I LOVE THEMM I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME#also i LOVE two of the saddest people in the army coming together and making the happiest cutest daughter ever#two characters so moon and stars adjacent having a sunny baby… STOPPPPP#another episode of ann making up shit thats not even close to canon#i feel like ppl often say ‘laslow is fates’ best character’ ‘nyx is so well written!’#and yet no one ever reads their convo together which is a shame bc even if its j platonic i think its a really important one for both#anyways tag limit. i only reach it when talking about them…
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