#white cis dude privilege

[mando-forgive-me]

Male privilege is fucking wild. It’s like they haven’t grown up in a reality where they are constantly assessing what level of threat half the people they meet could pose.

[ovisiphorus]

I absolutely refuse to modulate my behavior or presentation to accommodate someone’s false and wrong feelings of “discomfort” by my mere presence…If I am not actually bothering you or making an effort to cause you stress, you can just sit with your feelings and grow up.

[gor3sigil]

When I say that transmasculine people, including, obviously, binary trans men, don't hold power over women, there's always ONE fucker who's like "oh yeah ? But what if it's a whit, able-bodied perisex transhet man who's papers are all changed, who cispasses and is totally stealth AND is a manager ??? What then ???"

And I'm like, you CAN'T be in good faith rn. I'm not saying this particular case doesn't exist but be for real, it must be one in a fucking million. And even in this case, the dude is one outing away from having all his privileges taken away from him, which isn't the case for cis white men.

Stop nitpicking. Transmasculine people don't hold power over women. Period. If you want a punching bag, aim at the people who are truly after your ass.

[transfaguette]

In the discussion of trans men and women and male privilege, I do think of course there's certain scenarios where the general "defaultness" of malehood is beneficial, i.e, "dude" is treated as gender neutral where "girl" is generally not. But I really think scenarios like these are where the simplicity of male privilege and trans men stops.

Accessing cis male privilege requires one to be entirely passing and stealth. This is still an isolating and stressful experience. Employer does a background check and finds some info that outs you? You no longer have hiring benefit over anyone else. And I hope it goes without saying, but the stealth life is not one that is wanted nor achievable by most trans men. It's not even one wanted by all those who do live it, but a necessity to escape violence, at the cost of community and freedom of identity.

Once trans men become active elements in a scenario, not just coincidental benefactors, it all crumbles. Because trans men aren't more respected, and we aren't shielded more from violence or discrimination or misogyny. Calling ourselves men, even looking like men, means absolutely nothing. There just is no generalized societal benefit* to being trans in a man way vs in a woman way.

Whether we are properly gendered, misgendered, or degendered, we're never cis gender. And that is the framework under which most understandings of gender violence and patriarchy have been deigned, and the reality is trans male voices have always been missing from the conversation. So much of our experience is just extrapolated, by others, from the cis male experience. But it isn't that simple and it never has been.

*I'm coming at this within the scope of transgender people within the US. To even generalize that experience without regards to race or ethnicity, religion, economic status, etc, is inherently a disservice. The Trevor Project US Survey of 2024 consistently finds similar rates of depression, anxiety, suicide and conversion therapy among trans male and female respondents. When measuring by race/ethnicity, these were highest among respondents of color, despite white people alone making up 61% of respondents.

[the-great-ladyg]

Did someone notice in the new Somerton's video that he didn't adress any of the misogyny or transphobia accusations? Like, yeah, he said "people say I hate women but that's not true" and only that. And he also addressed the misinformation, in which we can include the misgendering, but he still didn'h fully talk about this even when those accusations were, along with plagiarism, the most talked about on the internet.

This dude didn't give any reason for why "he doesn't hate" women or trans people, it truly was a "source: dude trust me" and Somerton expects us to believe him, when no, he threw shit on women in every chance he got, he showed transphobia in many times for no fucking reason other than he's got something against women and trans people.

And he also didn't address any of the racism people has pointed out since a long time, but more specially since HBomberguy and Todd's video. This dude only focused on plagiarism, and even that he sucked at since he implied it was an accident. How can you plagiarize on accident?, you have to write, to read, to check what you're doing, he read and Nick's scripts, he must have noticed the copying and still left it with no citation. He said he loves investigating and reading, then he must notice the copying, yet he also said he "didn't notice", like this dude can't recognize he did this on purpose, it was all "an accident".

Also, he just tried shifting the blame, placing it on Nick or, again, like it was an accident and he didn't mean to it. Somerton knew what he was doing, all of us are taught at school, specially college, that plagiarism not only is bad, it it diminishes the quality and credibility of the person that stole those words, it can get you expelled or fired, and let's not forget the people you're hurting by stealing from them, and this case the people whose experiences and words were stolen. Somerton is in a more privileged position than many people in the LGBTQ+ community since he's a cis white man, and yet he decided to attack this way many POC and trans people, not only he stole their words, but he also used racist and transphobic rhetoric, he misgendered, he erased sexualities and put all of us on the same box of "cis straight white women".

"I wanted to make my channel a safe space", yeah, sure man, like saying all the negative things of an MLM media is straight cis women's fault, or misgendering, erasing the bisexuality of a woman or changing "trans" for "queer" is going to make to make your channel a safe for queer women and trans people.

I just deep down know he won't change at all, maybe except for the citations, but we must expect he'll continue being a misogynist racist transphobe dumbass that will keep ignoring this accusations and using the homophobia card.

I really feel sorry if he truly felt so bad he harmed himself and ended up on an hospital, if that's real I hope he gets better and never gets to that point again. Maybe I'm naive, but I want to believe this is not a tactic to manipulate us to forgive him, but... idk, I just expect anything from this man that has used the homophobia card to protect his ass from any criticism.

But talking by myself, as a genderfluid AFAB person who consumes and creates queer content and felt so insulted by his racism, his misogyny and transphobia, and noticing how he avoided the topic, I don't accept his apology and hope he disappears from the internet before he can do any more damage.

[velvetvexations]

There's a post going around about how it doesn't help bring men to the left to treat being a man as an ontological evil. Lots of people were recommending bell hooks and it made me so happy because this is what trans men have been saying since forever.

But then my dash was full of people complaining about "that post that says if women were nicer misogyny wouldn't exist." I've seen "if you can't take a little teasing about your privilege you're weak" which just reminds me of mean girl behavior. If they had ever been bullied you think they'd realise how quickly "just teasing" can turn into downright cruelty, even if the target "deserves" it (which I'm sure the bullies thought they did!) I've seen "men are celebrated everywhere" not disabled men, not men of color, not trans men, and even the average cis white dude isn't going to feel celebrated for his manhood, because he's probably not the "alpha" other men say he should be. He's going to be defensive if that's dismissed because of "cis white man" and actually meeting him where he's at will get him to understand quicker than just telling him he's weak (I've had this explained to me by actual feminist activists).

And NONE of that is is saying women should just lay down and take intentional bigotry. But borderline radfem keyboard warriors don't want nuance, they want to be angry.

It makes me want to crawl in a hole again.

I will drag you out of that hole, anon. You're a man and it's awesome you're man. I love you. <3

[sharkboywrites]

Okay, so let’s get this straight

This is a single comment Matt got, literally once, that almost immediately, and when I say immediately I mean immediately, triggered the ban of a trans woman:

And this is what trans people here on tumblr get in just a few hours that takes tumblr staff days and/or weeks, maybe never, to actually take action on, meanwhile in that timeframe these people are still allowed to post and harass trans people as much as they please:

Does this seem fair? At all? This doesn’t seem very queer friendly for “the queerest place on the internet”

Why does the cis white dude get special privileges when someone simply makes fun of him for being a bad ceo, but trans people who are actively being harassed, getting death and harm threats, told to kill themselves, etc. literally have to beg for staff to do something

What’s up with that, @staff? Why do I have to beg to be protected and to have other trans individuals protected by staff when that’s literally your job? I have to beg while these people get to do whatever they want because you never actually do anything about it? That your ceo gets special little boy privilege and can have whoever he wants banned whenever he wants? Why aren’t you doing what you’re supposed to?

[soundgarden]

this website has made me genuinely incredibly homophobic and transphobic and made me return my queer card lmao like literally all of the stereotypes about gay people on here are true, all of the gay guys are vapid narcissistic nymphomaniacs all of the lesbians are ugly misogynistic chickenhawks all of the trans women are clocky fetishistic groomers and theyre all convinced that theyre the most oppressed people on earth. hot take but homophobia and transphobia essentially dont exist in any way that actually affects people, white queers are not oppressed in any appreciable way and the only queers that are marginalized are the black ones, who are marginalized specifically for being black and not for being queer. black gay men and black straight men are at the same level of risk as are black cis women and black trans women. also a form of oppression that you can opt yourself out of by going stealth isnt worth worrying about lmao not to mention even on the rare occassion when it does happen homophobic and transphobic violence dont matter because theres always gonna be more, theres always gonna be dudes that wanna wear skirts and women that wanna eat pussy, its not like racial oppression where the risk of genocide and extinction actually exists. and queers have such skewed priorities and ideas about the world, theyre convinced that they know the truth and that theyre smarter than everyone else when they make up like 2% of the worlds population and dont understand the issues of most people, trans women think that theyre oppressed for being amab when the possibility of female circumcision was never on the table for them, lesbians think their dating lives are so much more difficult when theyll never be raped by their husbands, gay guys… gay guys are subhuman like we all know it so why pretend. they cant relate to normal people or what normal people think or want and theyre so fucking self-centered and myopic and thats why they dont give a shit about anything else besides themselves and where they can hop on their next dick. at this i just agree with everything right-wingers say about gay people because it is proven to be correct constantly like look me in the eyes and tell me that gay men arent infected sluts that lesbians arent ugly predators or that trans women arent male socialized. or that trans men arent just fucking annoying lmao

no shit white queers on this site are annoying and self obsessed but beyond that even if we assume the rest of this is 100% genuine and not trolling, on some level youmust realize this is just categorically untrue... like if you think lgbt people (even white) aren't facing any oppression or discrimination (even in the west) that just speaks to ur own privileged and limited worldview

[3liza]

there are a lot of posts on this website that make me think Tumblr thinks everyone is as abject as we (general we) are and it's just observably not true. most middle class white cis dudes are not getting out of bed to go to their normal job every day and gritting their teeth in the mirror like My God, another agonizing day of performing gender. SOME of them are. they can come post with us. but most are not. you can't just interrogate and exceptionalize and universalize every queer or minority experience until the entire world is included under an oppression rainbow umbrella. most people had a better time in high school than we did. they have been called "faggot" X% less than you have. that's what privilege and oppression refer to. the state of having it easier or harder under the existing system and its methods of enforcement. these differences exist, although it's comforting to imagine people with privilege secretly suffering an equal amount to the people without it, that's not what's going on. if you're not careful you're going to liberalize yourself into saying dumb shit like "the patriarchy is just as damaging to all men" and "misandry is a real problem that affects men daily"

[archive-z]

iwtv au im not gonna write bc i don’t have time but still

louis grows up in nola as a cis-passing trans dude, tacitly accepted by his family (that he’s trans is not known outside the family) — perhaps the patriarch of the de pointe du lac family clocked that paul wasn’t going to fit into the role of heir apparent early, so from age 4 or 5 they let Louis go by his preferred name instead (aka the way Anne Rice’s family did)

how does this change how he views grace getting married? how does he feel abt taking care of paul? what does grace think abt his relationship with Lestat?

part of the reason he’s so close with Miss Lily is she’s clocked him & is cool about it. miss bricktop probably has too.

how does this change his relationship to lestat? (wanting to be loved as a gay trans man vs. as a woman). does he remind Lestat of Gabrielle? Lestat being careless re: his privilege as a cis guy, the way he is already abt being white

his relationship with claudia? that Lestat gave him a daughter? “how does love between two men work?” “it works like love” vs. when claudia says maybe if she’d lived she’d have a family of her own

paris is maybe an exploration not just of sexuality but of what kind of masculinity feels right to him outside the hypervigilance of passing as a cis dude for safety reasons

when santiago mimics his voice .

daniel is still a cis dude (and lowkey a chaser? nay, i shan’t…) & wants to emphasize to louis how Open Minded he is.

when he bites madeleine… he feels all her feelings but also… her authentic experience of cisgender womanhood ? and how unfamiliar/alienating that feels (diversity win! deepest moments of shame and self-loathing were also gender affirming)

i feel like more trans dudes should get to be awful in ways that have nothing to do with being trans & everything to do with being a landlord

[insectfem]

it makes me really upset that as a white woman, im expected to acknowledge my privilege before i can talk about misogyny or ableism. but white men aren't. there were some speakers yesterday, and a lady starts with "i know im a white, cis, heterosexual woman but..." but none of the white dudes that spoke brought up how privileged they are before talking. idk it kinda pisses me off. like when we talk about misogyny we kinda have to be like "ohhh but it's not that bad it's not as bad as racism or transphobia wahhh." women die from misogyny. if hate crimes against women were counted as hate crimes, they'd drown out every single other type in sheer numbers. the biggest danger to pregnant women are the men in their own homes. women are bleeding out in hospital parking lots. girls have to go through the unimaginable trauma of carrying a dead baby to term. sorry i don't feel the need to bring up privilege when im talking about misogyny. especially when white men don't need to

[rei-ismyname]

My name is Alex and I'm an idiot

'and so is Rick Remender'

The saddest thing about this to me is what they were trying to do vs the execution. He's not reclaiming a slur or saying that nobody is just one thing (as Uncanny Avengers Editor Tom Brevoort claimed on Formspring) - he's completely denying his mutant identity through failing to provide alternative terminology. It's also entirely personal, while throwing his brother (and especially non-passing mutants) under the bus. It's an annihilation of the single point of minorityhood he's experienced.

I think it could have been a way to challenge homo superior usage by making that the divisive term, and providing 'mutated humans' as alternative language - 'humans' being the important part. Also, in every other way Alex Summers is privileged AF. He's a straight white able-bodied cis man who can pass for human. Even if this were a coherent statement, it'd leave so many mutants behind.

But at the end of the day, a bunch of liberal white dudes making a statement on something so close to the N Word was always going to be, at best, cringe.

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for getting an unhoused dude kicked out of my building?

long time reader first time caller. this happened a few years ago but i still feel mildly guilty about it. i (21 at the time, nb) lived in an oldass new england inn that had been subdivided into two halves, side A and B, rent a room style. i lived with 9 other people, all girls or nb, at the time. sides A and B were accessible to each other through the attic or basement, but otherwise to pass from side to side one would have to go through a locked outdoor breezeway. each room didn’t really lock and anyone living in this building would have pretty easy access to anyone else’s room should they want to. this is fairly important

during i believe november, an empty room in our house on side A suddenly contained a random man. i personally lived on side B, but we were all close friends with each other throughout the house. when this guy appeared, the folks on side A got pretty freaked out, as we had been told a new girl would be moving into that apartment in a week, not a man. no one on side A wanted to talk to the new guy as they felt too frightened, and as i was kind of operating as the ‘man of the house’ at the time (tough tall dyke privilege), i said i would talk to him for them.

when i met him by myself he seemed like a nice guy. tall, maybe 6’4”, white and presumably cis, athletic build. he was fine but i could see how the side A residents were intimidated. however, when i talked to him, he said he was staying in this room because his friend (who lived there over a month ago and had moved out) had told him he could crash there. we were not in contact with this previous resident; presumably he had made copies of his old keys. new guy said he was looking to stay indefinitely until he could find a new place. we parted ways fine enough and i informed my roommates of what he said.

they were not pleased about his ‘indefinite stay’ plans and reached out to our landlady, who decided to come that day and talk to him as well. she asked me to accompany her as she was a little lady and also scared of big men (understandable) (i’d like to say as a footnote fuck landlords but she was an exception, lovely mom-like figure who kept our rent low as hell)

when meeting with new guy with the landlady, she did all the talking and i stood mutely as a witness and a bodyguard, i guess. she told him she didn’t want to kick him out, but she had a new renter coming in a week and if he couldn’t get out by then they would have a problem. now here is where he started to get verbally aggressive. his frustration was very understandable and landlady was mostly patient with it, but when he started calling me an “ignorant bitch” and accusing me of trespassing (given i lived on side B, not side A), she snapped, said not to talk to me like that, and told him he had until the end of the day to clear out. ultimately, he refused to clear out that night. the next day around noon landlady came with the cops to help him leave. he wasn’t arrested or anything, just escorted out after packing up.

ultimately i feel pretty guilty about this because if it were entirely up to me i wouldn’t have snitched on him, just warned him about the new renter coming. but because my roommates felt very unsafe i felt i had to put on my bad guy boots and support them and my landlady; but if i hadnt been there as “bodyguard” maybe things wouldn’t have gotten aggressive? i have no idea what happened to the poor guy afterwards, i saw him walk down the street away from our house and never saw him again. i hope he’s doing ok now. so was i the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[transfemme-shelterdog]

re: no male privilege post https://www.tumblr.com/transfemme-shelterdog/782053126243024896/look-if-pre-e-me-the-whitest-of-white-upper?source=share

i guess im wondering how that works? /gen

like especially if you pass(ed?) as cishet, what part of male privilege wasnt awarded to you and why / how does that happen?

not disbelieving, just havent rly sat down and talked abt this to anyone before. ive seen a lot of people vaguely gesture at the concept but never elaborate much

Never been hired on the basis of my gender, in fact, finding jobs has always been extremely hard for me

Never got preferential treatment in school for my gender, in fact, teachers always looked me over and never stayed during lunch or after class to help me when I was struggling (I have several diagnosed learning disabilities that I had to struggle with on my own)

I was raped close to a dozen times by women, and nobody ever believed me aside from my mother, but that's only after I had a severe mental breakdown to the point I heard voices in my head, and was forcibly admitted to the psych ward as a child.

Never had anything really handed to me on a platter, I always had to work for it. Even had to pay for my own schooling as my parents thought that I wouldn't work hard if they paid for it.

On that note, I also never qualified for any scholarships despite having good grades, as nothing was for "straight, cis, white dudes"

I've been assaulted physically by other men, for no reason other than looking "like a fag"

Never got out of a traffic ticket, unlike my sister who drove drunk, got pulled over, blew heavily over, and the cop just let her go if she called my mom for a ride home, and for someone to drive her car home. Yeah... she could've killed someone. But just call your mommy.

That's off the top of my head, I'm sure there's more. But yeah, I had to work for everything in life, nobody ever helped me with shit.

[giritina]

Every oppressed group has to have a bad faith movement of men who want to talk about how they're more oppressed than their woman counterparts and or don't experience the privilege of being men in any meaningful way because they're not white cis straight dudes