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#who I haven’t spoken to in years
limelocked · 1 month
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Woke up from a dream in a dream where I was in the second layer shot in the neck and left to die
I thought people were lying when they said getting hurt in dreams doesn’t register but they was right entirely and the thing that hurt the most was that people just left me on the street
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deus-ex-mona · 4 months
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january is finally over…
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deadandphilgames · 11 days
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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creppersfunpalooza · 13 days
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i’m aware that it’s like late at night so i’m def not thinking straight and have no intentions of doing this but goodness the overwhelming urge to try and speak with someone i know will be detrimental to my mental health is insane rn
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fxreflyes · 3 months
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iphotos suggested photos is something that can be so violent
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autistic-katara · 6 months
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i hate 13yos actually
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speakercrab666 · 5 months
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hi!!! i want top surgery!!! my parents are helping me with some of the cost but i’m poor!!! here is my gofundme!!!
https://gofund.me/b5f3e092
please donate if you can, like i said i am getting some help from my parents which i’m extremely lucky to have but even with that help it would take years for me to save up the remainder of the cost by myself. plus accounting for recovery costs like time off work, rent, potential complications, any unexpected costs, i just want to give myself the best chance i can of going into this prepared.
if you can’t donate then do not donate!!!! i know how hard life is rn for so many of us, take care of yourself first. just reblogging or sharing this post would mean a lot to me.
i just booked my first consultation with my surgeon for May 2025 and i’m so excited!!!!!
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teefigotem · 1 month
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i don’t believe in astrology [voice of guy whose life has been absolutely fucking insane since the lunar eclipse in march]
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ruffgem · 6 months
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To be completely honest today is my birthday
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whimsyprinx · 1 year
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I’m so like pissed about all the things I’ve lost because I’ve moved so much throughout my life, friendship bracelets, perfume bottles, ribbon, the few photos of me growing up that exists, dolls and stuffed animals that I loved, so so many things that I loved and that made me happy that I’ll never see again because of circumstances that were out of my control
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bigothteddies · 4 months
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got tipped $2 on onlyfans last night I’m fucking thriving
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kendallroygf · 1 year
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the thing is. yeah kendall feels like his whole life now is worth nothing. the one thing he was always meant to do, since he was seven years old he now cannot do. he will never get to do it. so he might as well die, right? he might as well end it all but the thing is life is never that kind nor generous. so i think kendall will try and fail. and he’ll try again and again but the world will keep its grip on him and eventually he’ll just stop trying. and yeah maybe he’ll never be a whole person (we’re nothing) maybe he’ll take logan’s advice and collect sports cars or write a book or start a new company but either way he’ll be forced to start anew. kendall logan roy died it’s just kendall now. and this outcome in itself is generous in a way because circumstances out of his control have kind of forced him to hold some accountability for his own life finally instead of counting on broken promises his father made him at 7 years old. he’s actually being forced to Be instead of just living up to someone else’s name. and he actually has people around him who still undoubtedly care. he’s sick and horrible and twisted but he is still ultimately lovable. he is still a human being weeping on the dirty ground even though he has spent so long trying not to be. even though he recanted the very thing that made him Real. the world will simply not relinquish its hold on him! tragic but somewhat hopeful in a way
#like he’s never going to be happy. never ever. but being content or even ambivalent to your life is different than being happy and i truly#think kendall could get there at some point. something about the world forcing you to go on. i like how his last scene was surrounded by#earth and water. things that are Materially Real compared to kendall himself who is Not Real. like i think while some things can’t be#repaired it’s not too late for him to be a little bit involved in his kids lives. maybe a few years down the line. rava still cares about#him and offers him so much kindness even when she shouldn’t. he will have stewy forever like. stewy will love him forever. give roman a few#months. ultimately i think roman will push kendall away at first bc he spent this whole season maintaining his family out of Necessity and#i think kendall and roman have got to a place where it’s a bit sick. and roman will come around but he needs some time and so does kendall.#but ultimately they’ll be okay.#with shiv it’s like. well. god. like kendall will never ever be able to look tom in the eye ever. but i think they will not talk for years#maybe. but they’ll ache for each other a little bit. but also the resent and anger and hurt gets in the way. but i think give it like. 10#years or idk maybe even less but 10 seems good to me. and they’ll slowly start to let each other in again. i think the three of them will#grow old together like ultimately they’ll always be kids when they’re with each other ykwim.#but idk i think kenshiv will be okay in the end jus rn it’s bleak asf. i think at different times in the next few years they will Try with#each other but the other will be so resistant but there will be a time where they’re just both so Tired and when tom dies shiv will call#kendall first even though they maybe haven’t spoken for god knows how long and he will be with her on the phone. and when connor passes away#they will hold hands again and idk. they’ll be okay. broken but okay.#anyway. i’m so over this <- girl who will never ever be over it#kendall
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ruslangazizov · 7 months
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sometimes self care is watching the vid of cowboy’s goal 30 times to forget your problems
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house-rat · 7 months
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I feel like a refugee from my past, running from any reminder of or connection to it.
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armouredheart · 8 months
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.
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castielmacleod · 2 years
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I don’t want to speak out of turn here but the specific way in which Rowena was pushed at Gabriel and then Ketch felt really like. Demeaning? In a frankly sexist way. Did anyone else think that because idk it felt like the writers still really could not think of a way to incorporate this brilliant female character (even in all her post-Funeralia glory) into a scene without romantically/sexually involving her with some horrible man who should be WELL below her standards btw. And I mean even before that they’d been pushing her at Lucifer and Chuck, and having her put up with those awful boring rich guys for their money (when.. I mean she definitely already has money). Idk it’s just the way that 1. it’s fairly constant even when we get precious glimpses of her outside the Winchester bubble and 2. it feels like we very much are supposed to laugh or roll our eyes at her for it and 3. it is narratively wholly unnecessary and adds nothing to her actual character. I just think Rowena deserved so much better than bearing the near ceaseless brunt of this trope especially when there is just. SO MUCH to her. So much to her that is literally underexplored.
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