#I’m tired of losing things it sucks so much ugh ugh ugh

[whimsyprinx]

I’m so like pissed about all the things I’ve lost because I’ve moved so much throughout my life, friendship bracelets, perfume bottles, ribbon, the few photos of me growing up that exists, dolls and stuffed animals that I loved, so so many things that I loved and that made me happy that I’ll never see again because of circumstances that were out of my control

[desertfangs]

Since you write a lot do you have tips for people who want to write more?

Hi, anon! I can sure try and tell you some of what works for me!

Ignore advice that you don’t find helpful (that includes these tips!)

Writing is a process, but your writing process is always going to be unique to you, so if something doesn’t work for you, trying to implement it is only going to make you miserable. Like some people will tell you to write every day, but sometimes the pressure of that is going to be too much. Basically anything that doesn’t work for you, chuck it in the bin. You don’t need it.

Put your word processor in full screen

I write in Scrivener, which has a “composition mode” but you can also just put your document on full screen to minimize distractions. That way it’s harder to flip over to check Discord or Tumblr or whatever. Of course, I still exit out of full screen every time I need to look something up in the thesaurus and then I end up spending 15 minutes screwing around on the internet so you know, it's not a perfect system.

Work on several things at once and don’t be afraid to step away if a story isn’t working

Granted, my writing method is like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, so I tend to start a lot of stuff that fizzles out after a few paragraphs (or a few thousand words 😭😭) and I know juggling multiple things does not work for everyone.

I personally usually need at least 2 current WIPs, so I can switch to the second when I get stuck on the first. This means even while I’m ruminating on one fic, I’m writing another. But I have friends who literally can’t write on more than one project at a time or their brains will explode, so again, it’s just about what works best for you.

[BRACKETS]

If you’re stuck on something like a detail or a fact you need to look up or a piece of dialogue (“How the fuck would Lestat respond to THAT?” is my constant refrain, my cats are tired of hearing it), just put something in brackets like [Lestat replies with something flirty or witty] or [Fact check if X] or whatever it is, and then you can move on and keep going and not lose your momentum.

Set a Timer

If you're struggling to make yourself focus and write, set a timer for 10, 15, 25 minutes (whatever increment of time works for you!) and write until it goes off. You can keep going after if you're on a roll, or your can stop for a while, but it will get you into the mindset of writing. And even if that's all you do that day, hey, you wrote for 10 minutes!

Kill your need for perfection and that critic in your brain

I am still working on this but it’s true! You can make your WIP more perfect in editing. The old adage that you can’t fix a blank page is correct. And honestly, a lot of times I will write something and think ‘ugh this is no good’ and then go back and read it weeks later and really dig it. Or I figure out what it needs to make it better. (Or sometimes it still sucks and we just pretend it never happened.) But no one else has to see your first drafts! So don’t stress about making the first draft super good or agonize too much over word choice. Just get words on the page and worry about making it better later.

I hope you find some of that helpful, Anon!

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x05 thoughts

The main things:

This ep starts literally immediately after last ep ended, and then takes place over 2 full days

Looks like Thony and Jorge swapped numbers at some point lol; I guess Dante got tired of being the go-between haha. But for a guy that was so concerned yesterday about Thony missing her interview, he sure seems chill about pulling her away today… only to have nothing for her but an unintentionally murdered guy and an uncomfortable fight with his sister lol. That’s a bit embarrassing for you there, Jorge! I like that he later ended the business call about Nadia’s payout to be able to answer her, and then followed through on her request to talk to Ramona on her behalf. And then she shows up at his office– did she google him or did he actually tell her where to find him??-- and tries to convince him to nullify the Amber Alert, and ngl I enjoy the fact that much of their dynamic so far is basically Thony either ordering or begging him to do something, and him being like “No” and making some mocking remark to her about it… and then later doing exactly what she asked/suggested lol. Thony (and especially the potent combination of Thony and Luca) really does have some kind of magic power over the men of this family… though Arman seemed to accept it far more quickly and eagerly than Jorge, who’s still half-heartedly trying to resist haha. But then again, the man still showed up at her court hearing and not only provided the exact thing she asked for, but he also stayed to see the outcome and her reaction?? Like I’m absolutely hearing Nadia’s words to Arman rn: “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. When you are her hero”... Jorge got his first real taste of that during the last ep, and looks like he already wants more haha

Thony and Ramona are clashing more and more which is potentially going to be very problematic for Thony when they lose Arman and she is no longer shielded by her connection to him… but I guess that’s when Jorge’s growing regard for her is going to come into play, and create an interesting divide with the siblings…

Poor Thony reliving the trauma of losing Luca, only even more terrifying this time because instead of Marco (who sucked but was at least relatively safe), he could be with someone who intends to hurt him. “We’ve been down this road before” yeah in more ways than one

“You and Armando will work together, so when I’m gone…(etc)” okay this is a very odd statement for a 50-something to make??? And she later says something about bringing Arman home ‘while there’s still time’-- time for him, or her?? Like is Ramona secretly dying and that’s why she’s so determined to get Arman back, so Jorge will still have family watching over him? Surely the writers wouldn’t use a plotline like that though, not given how we lost Adan…….? 

Okay let’s all pretend that we believe that a 6 year old kid, who had barely experienced the world outside his own bedroom before a few months ago, managed to navigate the streets of a major city on foot to a location that’s a 10 minute drive away, and then also somehow snuck into a large public facility undetected and didn't raise red flags as an unaccompanied kid hanging there for hours lol

Ugh so much love for the courtroom scene and the fam all giving their testimony. I love that they were all clearly ready to commit perjury if needed (eg by covering up Thony’s shady activities if asked about it) and that they also said such beautiful, heartfelt things, because god did Thony need to hear those things. After everything she has gone through, and everything that her actions to protect Luca put the rest of the family through, she’d clearly started to question (like we saw in the kitchen earlier with Fi)  whether she is actually truly good– a good mother, a good family member, and a good person in general– or if she only brings pain to those around her.  The forgiveness and support of her family doesn’t erase what she’s done, but it is going to be a huge part of how she moves forward and grows as a person, and I’m really looking forward to seeing more of that journey.

I also loved that the people trying to take Luca away were two crusty old guys, while Thony’s lawyer (who looked like she was trying not to cry when Thony did her big speech), and the judge, and of course Susan (who, while on the CPS side, is actually fairly impartial and in some ways shows a lot of regard for Thony, and didn’t raise an objection even though she could have) are all women. It feels like a subtle nod to the themes of both motherhood and women supporting other women in this show, and that’s really cool. 

Other stuff:

Congrats to Fi for finally getting to have her own Traumatised Showering Scene haha, I think Thony has had at least 2 or 3 by this point. But I did feel for Fi and Chris that they barely even got to begin to unpack what happened to them because things were just immediately about Luca. Also ngl that music/voiceover combo right at the start with the abrupt fadeout was a bit weird lol

“Sometimes I wish I was a turtle, so I could hide in my shell” #relatable

Love the sweet JD/Fi stuff, though this dude needs to recognise his place in the family hierarchy and not make calls that aren’t his to make lol. Leave the dealing with big important stuff to the women, buddy, you’re out of your depth!  

Speaking of dudes messing things up… seriously Dante? Accidentally killing the best lead your bosses have to getting their relative back? That’s embarrassingly amateurish. Unless there’s actually more going on here than we realise, and he did it deliberately to keep the guy from talking??

Ok seriously how many doors lead outside from Luca’s room?? I know it’s a converted sun-room and not a proper bedroom, but still, they should at least be locked if not also securely barricaded. Geez.

Ah the many facets of Jorge, comfortable in a homeless camp and while torturing a guy in a warehouse, but also in a courtroom and a fancy corner office, and also while kneeling in a kitchen doorway to earnestly accept a gift of a cupcake from a 5 year old lol

Thony always tells Luca she’s never going to let anything bad happen to him… but uhhh, a little too late there, don’t you think Thony? Poor kid has been through more ‘bad things’ than most adults, and most of them have happened within the last 6 months lol

Lol at Thony trying to tell the officer to drop the charges against Dante and he’s just like ‘nope’ haha. I bet she really misses her surgeon days when she could just give orders and people would follow them without question

No Nadia this week! Honestly it felt weird not to see her; it really feels like she is part of the family now, and I’m looking forward to more of her and Thony working together

Goddamn I really gotta learn Spanish.

[caitlynskitten]

Assffsdasa Wednesday waking up all horny and needy so she rolls herself on top of Enid and starts groping her boobs and whining “Mommy please, I need you to fuck me, please” and Enid’s feral wolf brain activates and not five minutes later, Yoko’s woken up by a particularly loud moan from Wednesday and she’s just “really? C’mon you could’ve at least woken me up too” and she’s really pouty for like a second before Wednesday yanks her into her neck to drain her a little bit cause if there’s one thing Enid and Yoko LOVE it’s when Wednesday’s all pliable and weak that they can do whatever the hell they want and she can’t do a thing about it AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sorry, I’m losing my mind a little. I think me and anon are just in a loop of feeding each other’s horny brains pffft

Omg I love that idea that Wednesdays blood gives Yoko so much energy. And gets her super horny too. Like a shot of espresso in the morning.

Ugh I love whiney and desperate Wednesday. She didn’t think she’d find somebody who’s capable of catching up to her stamina, let alone two. Should definitely wake Enid up and ask her to fuck her pretty pretty please.

Enid might be a little tired but tells Wednesday she can suck on her nipples for a bit while she’s asleep. Wednesday proceeds to. Unfortunately for Enid, she can’t go back to sleep as it was turning her on too much and now needs to release that to Wednesday who’ll happily take it.

[shayshaybiscuit25]

All I know is that I’m waiting for this crap to be revealed as legit or not. Yes, even after Chris Evans claimed to have two “ceremonies”. There’s enough evidence that has me like…..no way any of this is legit, but if I’m wrong about this being PR…..😮‍💨

See …..this current mess and him claiming her as his “wife” is bad enough. It would mean he’s bypassed the racism and has the same views as her and her racist friends, and that his entire image is bullshit. His rep, image and namesake is still on the line at the same time the public doesn’t see that nor care for them at all, but they don’t know what the fans do and the simple fact that it appears he’s in some behind the scenes crap is what still has me here.

These are my thoughts and opinions, I don’t need anyone fussing or screaming how I’m dumb for not seeing this is obviously PR. Well PR is stupid to have this man married publicly if he actually isn’t and the damage is technically already done fandom wise. I’m black, miss me with the he’s doing this for his career advancement or he purposefully signed a “contract” because that still means he’ll compromise his morals and values for a nice check or role. I like to think the mess behind the scenes is more so he’s being threatened with losing everything or something like that because that’s the one thing I won’t fault him on. Fortunately for him, it’s common for men his age to pull this shit so no major red flag except the obvious age gap public wise. 🙄

Okay, hypothetically let’s say we’re all wrong and they are a legit couple, you know what that means. Chris would indeed be a creep. I don’t care how much Hollywood or the world tries to normalize 40+ yr old men with 20+ yr olds, it’s NOT NORMAL! She’s old enough to be your oldest child, like stop. It’s a power dynamic and weak men pull this shit when they refuse to man up and know women in their age range won’t tolerate their bullshit.

Where are all the women in their 40s win 20+ yr olds?……EXACTLY! It’s rare for women and mainly women going for a younger man would be her past 40+ and dating a 30+ year old.

These men have nothing in common with mere young adults and most are too stupid to realize if they weren’t in a place of power ie having a shit load of money and/or fame…..HER ASS WOULD NOT WANT YOU! Majority of the time these young women aren’t innocent, they are money hungry yet still too dumb to realize the consequences of their situation long term. He’ll waste your time, until you wake up one day and realize you were never in control the way you believed you were, it’s an abuse of power and once you’re too old for him….on to the next.

Karma is a bitch and these mofos aren’t thinking about if they one day have daughters and some pedo creep gets their daughter and rinse and repeat.

So yeah it doesn’t look good especially with him claiming to be married. Each day I’m like……did this guy really pull the wool over our eyes for 20+ years…..(omg is his career older than her or is she about the same age as his career?!)😬😳

But yeah anyway, my answer is nope, I don’t believe Chris is anything like that and if he was and just wanted to “be himself now”, I’m sure he’d have shut up the team pr vs real debate by now. He’s done everything to make me go…..something is definitely wrong here. 😢

All I can do is pray for him. Nothing about this screams real, healthy let alone love.

Thank you all for reading. 😎 we’re all tired and ugh it just sucks.

Also, the idiots trying to cancel Sebastian for playing trump is absolutely RIDICULOUS, he’s an actor and if he gets nominated for some awards the same people currently mad will be screaming with joy, so stop the madness. 😂

[espress0-depress01]

Woohahahah. Oh my god. My head is super fucked up. I hate it. I literally don’t know what my body looks like. For one second I’m like okay I look decent and literally I put my shirt down and a second later I check my body again and I’m freaking huge. And on top of that I was looking back at old pictures tonight and I’m like wow. Around my highest size and I literally don’t look any different now. And I miss being smaller. “You look better now” “you looked gross then” but I loved it. And that’s how I Know I’m sick. I loved my hips and ribs, I loved wearing smaller sizes. But here I am. I’ve gained. After losing. And don’t get me wrong I love having an ass but I might just sacrifice that to be at my lowest again. But I also know it was never enough. My body is recovered but my head is not. I still use apps to track everything, I use the scale multiple times a day, and added bonus now I measure my waist every day too. That’s new. I’m just tired of it. I hate feeling this. What’s so super fucked up is that I see others who have recovered and they’re like so beautiful? And I’m like yeah but if I really recover I’ll just be huge. And I feel like people are lying to me saying I look better now. I really don’t think I do. Ugh. And I have a lot of weight in my face and that’s even worse. I had to lose so much for my face to look somewhat decent. Idk. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten back on here. But I have no way to talk to anyone about it. I’m just scared to go back down that path again but it’s like mentally I’m already there. Just gotta quit feeding myself so damn much.

P.s sorry I suck at using hashtags I am afraid to put anything because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and lose my page

[emptylittlebug]

02/08/23

234.8

Lbs lost in Feb: 1.6

In: 290

Vitamins (10), water, Adderall, Wellbutrin, magnesium, water, bbq boneless wings (280), water

Out: 2606

Steps: 3106

Period is over!

I forgot my water bottle at home this morning 🤦‍♀️ Plastic bottles just aren’t the same.

This evening I’ll be building my son’s bunk bed. Hopefully that’ll burn some cals.

I was up wayyy too late last night making felt eyes for my stuffies. I’m so tired today.

I think I want to but my hair… right now it’s down past the middle of my back. I know I’ll regret it though. Hmm. Might lose a few ounces though… and it’ll look better/healthier obviously.

I really think I need to start exercising so I won’t have sooo much loose skin. I know I’ll have a bit, but maybe I can make it a little less? And I’d love to get my arm muscles back.. I’m thinking about a dance workout to start with? I have a few from my beachbody obsession days.. I’m actually thinking about signing up for that again tbh. Just for the workouts and shake if I’m being honest. Of course I’d stick to my current diet of “as little as possible” 🤷‍♀️ It would be sooo easy to get sucked back into that agin though. And it’s expensive. Buttt if I’m not spending that $ on food maybe I can make it work… hmm.

((POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING POST AHEAD))

I’ve been thinking a lot about how the “Ana trend” has changed so much since 2004-2009 until now. Yes, AFTER I became anorexic I found the world of Ana on Xanga a lifetime ago it feels like 😅. We never had any of that high restriction, metab days, or any of that. It was straight less than 1000cal/day, exercise off every single cal down to net 0 or in the negatives. If you had more than 1000 you were just “dieting”, not an eating disorder status…800-900 was high restriction and only allowed if you were in sports or something. 300-400 was status quo.

I know how bad that is and everything and I do NOT encourage it!! It severely messed up our short term memories and even though I recovered for 10ish years, my short term memory never came back like it should be. I’m glad it’s not the norm anymore so people aren’t hurting themselves as badly. I just think it’s strange how things change like this.

We were some very fucked mentally ill teenagers in the mid 2000s…

The hold those tabloids, VS models, MK, Nicole Richie, diet culture had on us… damn.

I just can’t bring myself to change my thinking about this 🤷‍♀️

My brain says “oh, you want to up your calorie limit… I knew you just wanted to diet and don’t ReAlLy have an ED. Your pain and reasons aren’t as strong as they should be. Poor little emo kid just wants to be trendy and lose weight.” UGH.

My logic knows that’s stupid, but brain beats logic unfortunately.

Anyway, enough rambling from me!

I hope you enjoy your day ✨

[justkeepdancing-nemo]

Failing Nemo || Romo Texts

Summary: On the last week of the term, the stress from uni becomes too much for Nemo.

Part One of Finding Nemo: Uni Arc

tw: anxiety, depression

DECEMBER 13

Nemo Bae

hey heeeeeey hi what r u doing rn are u studying? [deleted] pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [deleted] im losing my mind haha

Robbie

Hey Yeah, I'm studying for my anatomy final which is kind of boring but I swear they added more parts to the human body since I last learned this Nemo Bae

ahahh there are like a tonne of bones thats so weird tho ur a vet student shouldnt u learn about animal parts

Robbie

I think that comes next when I get into more specialized stuff ugh so many bones though you're right how are you though

Nemo Bae

missing youuuu come hang out with me

Robbie

How is studying for finals going? Last time I came to see you we didn't study at all. I failed you

Nemo Bae

thats bc i dont wanna study lol its pointless but hanging out with uuuu isnt

Robbie

Studying isn't pointless Why do you think it's pointless

Nemo Bae

i just cant do it lol i try and i cant pay attention and my back always hurts too much to like sit in one place but if i lay down i fall asleep bc its so boring my grades suck anyway

Robbie

aw that's probably not true I'm sure your grades don't suck I could come over and help you for real this time I can quiz you and stuff

Nemo Bae

they do robbie im not smart like you. i cant write like you. my grades are really bad and ive gotten incompletes in my fellows class because i havent even turned in stuff

Robbie

Hey you're smart don't say that

Nemo Bae

but its true im not smart okay im not cut out for this i dunno i feel like it was just a mistake and im gonna fail anyway so

Robbie

like going to school was a mistake? Nemo you're smart and you can do it. I know you can. You just have to keep trying. it sounds like you're giving up

Nemo Bae

yeah i am ahah ive TRIED ok i keep trying to study for my finals and i cant do it  i tried all semester but all i did was hurt myself so i couldnt even dance i have to write final papers in my ballet and contemporary classes now thats two more papers im just gonna go back to the hollow

Robbie

Nemo I can help okay it's not the end of the world and it's going to be fine

Nemo Bae

no its not you dont get it because tis easy for you

Robbie

it's not easy I still have to study like everyone else That's just how school is And if it looks easy it's because I had a lot of years to learn a lot of things But those were years where I had to try and study hard and put in the effort it doesn't just happen for me

Nemo Bae

well i shouldnt distract you from studying then

Robbie

Nemo

Nemo Bae

what? thats what you're saying you say you gotta study and all im doing is getting in your way you dont have time to help me anyway esp when it doesnt matter and its too late Robbie

We can talk about it more don't just pull away. That's not what I'm saying it's not too late we can work on it together

Nemo Bae

and then when i fail anyway????

Robbie

then you pick yourself up and try again You can replace those grades if you really think you're going to fail You can retake the class

Nemo Bae

i dont want to. i DONT. its too much and too stressful theres a reason not a lot of fairies go to uni esp not from a hollow im so tired of sucking this much

Robbie

You don't suck

Nemo Bae

how would u even know how much i suck robbie youre not in my classes do u want me to send u pics of all my shitty papers lol then youll realize im a lost cause

Robbie

I will never think you are a lost cause

Nemo Bae

i dont even see why we're arguing about this its not even your business

Robbie

Oh its not? im not supposed to care?

Nemo Bae

i just dont see why you do this much

Robbie

You don't see why I care about you and your life this much

Nemo Bae

i dont see why you care about whether or not i go to school if you cared about me then youd say ok nemo i love you but apparently i have to be a freaking genius for you too

Robbie

Because you wanted to go to school? Because you want to take all those dance classes?

Nemo Bae

but i was wrong okay? and it sucks and i spent my appa's money and he's gonna be disappointed in me and clearly you're disappointed in me

Robbie

im not disappointed I just think you're being too hard on yourself

Nemo Bae

i feel like quitting is actually finally letting myself chill but ok

Robbie

im just afraid you'd regret it and I really don't think it's as much of a lost cause as you think it is But I can butt out I guess im sorry

Nemo Bae

its my fault its fine i'll let you get back to studying [deleted] this conversation felt really bad, im sorry i was.. i didnt mean to make it sound [deleted] maybe we can try it, you helping me deleted] im sorry, robbie

Robbie

Yeah, if you wanna talk later just text me

Nemo Bae

okay

DECEMBER 13, SEVERAL HOURS LATER 

Robbie

hey i just wanted to check and see how you are doing and say i'm sorry for upsetting you

Nemo Bae

 you really dont have to apologize. im the one. i know i lashed out at you and took a lot of my frustration and stress out on you and im really sorry about that. i shouldnt have said a lot of the things i said. i know youre just caring about me. im feeling a little better now though

Robbie

That's good! If you want me to come over I can. I want to see you

Nemo Bae

oh im actually uh i kinda left lol i'll be back in a couple of days though! i wanna see you then

Robbie

You left?

Nemo Bae

yeah i think i needed to get out and clear my head and i already feel a lot better

Robbie

Oh okay that makes sense. Did you go to the hollow

Nemo Bae

no im going camping with tae

Robbie

camping?

Nemo Bae

yeah there's this campsite we went to in the summer its got little cabins too tho we might just sleep in the car

Robbie

aren't your finals and stuff...are you gonna miss them?

Nemo Bae

probably? i told you though, im gonna fail anyway and seriously as soon as i decided to go it was like a huge weight off my shoulders i'll work on my papers maybe a little while im gone idk

Robbie

okay I love you be safe please

Nemo Bae

we will! i love you too robbie i really do wanna talk when i get back

Robbie

ill be here

[buckyownsmylife]

Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever!  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it,  starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

[strawberrylucv]

hello!! i love your writing may i request scaramouche loathing but secretly loving the reader then hate fucking the shit out of her because he doesn't wanna admit he likes her 😩😩

hello!! awww thank you so much!! i hope you like this :> !!

Scaramouche hates you but loves being inside of you.

words : 1,596

warnings: Scaramouche smut, choking, orgasm denial, spanking, degrading, being fucked dumb, afab reader. NSFW BELOW THE CUT

═══════════════════════════════════

You see, Scaramouche absolutely hated you. He hated everything about you, from the way you look to the way you think, he thought you were incredibly stupid. How you dress yourself is beyond disgusting. When you touched him, goosebumps topped his skin. It was that unbearable. He loathed how you would look at him, as if he and you were friends.

But then again, he hated himself for thinking like that because in reality, he adored you. He loves every single thing about you. He would never tell you that though, well maybe not yet. There was this one thing in particular that he loved about you. That was how you would scream his name when he fucked you hard.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You always thought the Sixth Fatui Harbinger hated you. Every time he was in your vision he would always seem to talk about anything negative. Whether it be a snarky comment about your appearance or whatever it was you said that day, you tried to avoid him the best you could. After all, bumping into him would always manage to ruin your day.

Yet here you are, being played with by Scaramouche. He's the one fingering you right now and causing you to almost orgasm every time his fingers curl in that spot but he kept denying it in the end. "What a whore." He says as he puts your leg over his shoulder allowing him more access to reach the parts inside of you that made you whimper and moan even more, which only added to his ego. "Only a cunt like yours could be tightening up like this." You lost count on how many orgasms you lost that night.

It was so sudden, you were just walking back home from work and as always, Scaramouche bumps into you. "Oh, it's you. Disgusting, scum like you should never bump into someone like me." A sharp comment leaves his mouth. "Hey, I'm talking to you. Ugh, what do I know. Your brain is probably not even capable of replying to me." He brushes off his shoulder as if your touch was like garbage. You just clench your jaw and stride trying to ignore him. He questioned why you wouldn't say your usual remarks, following you trying to ask what's wrong with you. As you see your home nearby, you stop your tracks causing Scaramouche to stop as well. You walked towards him and shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He was taken aback since you've never shouted. All you ever wanted to do was be friends with him yet he treated you like trash and you were so tired of it.

"I'm so fucking done with you trying to bully me every-fucking-day!"

"And? What're you gonna do about it?" He replies with a very prideful face, he wasn't affected by any of the words you've said.

"I'm-I'm gonna-" You tried to think of a comeback and what you thought of was 'I bet he'll get super flustered if I kiss him'.

You grabbed his top and pulled him closer to you and put your lips on him. You proved yourself right when right after you pulled away from him, he was unusually silent. This was unlike him, and it brought a smirk to your face.

"Was that your first kiss, Balladeer?" You mocked and let out a laugh as you watch him stand there, his eyes still wide from the shock and confusion of it all happening.

After you are done laughing, you see Scaramouche walking towards you with a furious face. You raise your chin up to indicate that you weren't afraid. But he didn't raise his fist, instead he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your lips inserting a tongue in.

You don't know why but you melt from the kiss, legs giving out, hands shaking from the sudden action. When he parted his lips from you a string of saliva connected from the both of you. His hands cupping your cheek as you try to catch your breath.

"What a bad girl, trying to provoke me?" He grabs your wrist and brings you to the front of your house.

"Open it." He commands you. You fumble trying to get your keys, his eyes glued to you. You felt his presence behind you and you swore you could feel his breathe. Your nervousness got the better of you as you found yourself failing to simply place the key into the lock of your door. It seemed he picked up on your failed attempts and to your surprise, he placed his hand on yours. “Like this,” He says as he guides your hand to insert the key and twist it, hearing a soft click afterwards. When you enter your house, Scaramouche follows, and as you close the door, he immediately pins you to the wall.

Passionately kissing you, his tongue twirling in your mouth, you let a moan escape from your mouth and this made him so fucking horny. You lead him to your bed, not taking a break from his kisses. His hand travels downwards to feel your wet pussy. He removes your panties and it was then that the situation you were in dawned upon you. In your sudden realization, you push him just a bit to catch your breath. What were you doing with the man you loathed? And what was he doing with you? He hated you, but why is he beside you right now, looking about ready to fuck you with his fingers?

Before you could question anything, he inserts his two digits making you moan out his name, causing him to get more hard. When you pushed him, he went down on you, licking your clit and fingering you hard. You couldn't control your moans and the whole room was filled with your excessive noise. "Stop-Sto-Ah!~" You feel the knot on your stomach about to release, and it was then he decided to stop what he was doing, causing you to lose the feeling. "Why?" You whimper out.

“Disobedient girls deserve a punishment." He looks up from where he was and his eyes meet yours. The flushed look on your face accompanied by your glossy eyes and heavy pants was euphoric. He was addicted. And with that, he began to do exactly what he knew would get you to be more vocal; he began to eat you out once more. Your legs leaving his shoulder, thrashing around so much that he had to hold you down again so that you could stop. You could feel the same knot again, you begged him to let you come but as you almost feel the release, he stops again causing you to cry. "The only place you’ll be coming tonight is on my dick, you fucking slut." He flips you around and pulls your body closer to him, aligning his dick to your entrance. He teases your hole with his tip and you get restless, "Ugh, please just get on-" You say but stops as he inserts his whole dick into you. "Why are you so fucking disobedient to me?" He raises his hand and brings it down to smack your ass making you whimper at the sudden contact, but you couldn’t deny that this made your pussy throb, and this didn’t go unnoticed.

He takes notice of this and does one, two, three slaps on your ass. He was also so deep in you. Your walls clenching on him causing him to groan. He sucks your nape and the side of your neck, leaving marks on your skin. After he was done with your ass, his hands climb up to play with your breasts, flicking and pinching your nipples while he thrusts into you more deeply. His hands wandered off to your neck, gripping it tightly, he loved how you were feeling pleasure from this. Feeling the familiar knot in you again, you cried to him begging to let you come. He's so deep inside of you, you could feel him hitting your favorite spot. You might lose your voice from all the moans you've been making. He pulls your face and inserts his tongue once again in your mouth,

"Who do you fucking belong to, Y/N?” His voice was so deep, and when he didn’t hear a reply, he pounded into you deeply once more, groaning from how tight you are. “Tell me.”

"Fuck!” You exclaimed. You couldn’t think straight anymore, and you only had one thought in your mind. “I only belong to you! I love being fucked by you. Only you can make me feel this good." You cry, you've been wanting to orgasm all night but he kept denying it.

"Come for me, Y/N."

With his permission, you came, clenching around his cock and he followed right after. He pulls out and cums on your ass. Both of you try to catch your breath. You flipped yourself over so that you were now facing him, he was still so hard. You go down on him and lick his throbbing cock. He grabs your hair and says,

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Please give me more...I want to feel good again,” You plead. “Make me your cumslut, use me please." You reply right after you suck on his dick.

"Then spread your pussy for me."

You obeyed. He knew that this night was the only night he can verbally confess that he actually loves you, but maybe for tonight he'll just fuck you stupid. Someday he'll tell you how he truly feels, Someday.

[dragonsareourfuture]

Thank you for answering! Could I just have some short head canons on how the Wammy house boys (specifically Near and L) would cheer up their s/o after a hard/tiring day? I just had some money stolen which kinda sucks so it would mean a lot! Thank you again!! I love your writing for both Obey Me and Death Note!

Wammy Boys When Their s/o Has A Bad Day

OH NO DUDE I’m sorry that happened to you!! These are a bit late but of course I can whip up some headcanons! Thanks so much!

Near

- Probably doesn’t even realize you’re upset at first.

- But he’s honestly just very soft when you come home in general so it doesn’t really matter. You have his comfort either way.

- It will probably be later into the evening when he asks you to do something and you have to explain to him that you’ve just had a tough day and would appreciate if you could get some time to just lay around and not worry about anything.

- “Alright. When do you think you’ll get to it, then?”

- Explain to him again that you need to relax. Please don’t snap at him though, he doesn’t know what he did wrong. He’s just trying to plan ahead.

- Once he understands that you relaxing means you actually don’t want to do anything at all, he’ll propose that you put on a movie and play a board game together.

- if you start to lose he’ll make up fake rules that switch everything around so you win or, if that feels unfair to you, he’ll straight up just let you win and not tell you.

- Ugh that little smile he gives you. ‘S too cute. You instantly start to feel better when he sends it your way. That dumb goofy lil grin thing he does. Wow.

- It gets you calmed down/comfortable enough to talk about your shitty day and Near will listen to every single word. He’s the type to offer advice afterwards and recap the story to make sure you know he listened attentively. He wants to make sure you feel heard.

L

- L’s like Near in the way that he struggles to tell that there is something wrong unless you make it incredibly obvious or outright say that you’ve had a rough day.

- When he figures it out he’s just like “Oh. That’s unfortunate. Is there anything you need?”

- He may seem like he doesn’t care but please know that’s not the case. He genuinely wants to know if you need something so that you can feel better and, believe me, if there is he will get it for you.

- Asks Watari to make you “cheer up cake”, which is basically just your favorite flavor. If you’re not a cake fan (how dare) Watari will bring you whatever strikes your fancy.

- L tries to be more empathetic by thinking of times when he felt stuck during a case. Remembering the anguish he felt during those times helps when he’s trying to comfort you.

- “It feels bad now, I know. But you’ll make it out of this. And when you do, you won’t have to feel the hardships of today ever again. Of course, you’ll have to feel the burdens of other hardships later on in life, but that’s later.”

- Turns off the lights if you have a headache so the room is easier on your eyes. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, he’s worked in the dark before.

- Before he even thinks about starting on his work again he makes sure you’re comfy and relaxed.

Mello

- He completely understands the feeling of coming home and thinking “wow what a shitstorm of a day”. He empathizes with you a ton.

- He can’t really verbalize that though. He doesn’t like getting all mushy and talking about feelings (as much as it would benefit him).

- So when Mello senses that you’re angry, bummed, or just plain exhausted, he’ll say the first thing that comes to mind, “Who do I have to fight to make you feel better?”

- Give him someone to fight and he’ll actually start putting on his jacket but will immediately stop and wrap it around you instead if you say you were kidding (If you weren’t he’d actually go beat the shit out of someone like he wasn’t joking either).

- He pulls you over to the nearest couch or bed so you can get comfortable, turns the fan on/off to make it the temperature you prefer, and insists you keep his jacket since you like it so much. If you comment about how attentive and caring he’s being he’ll just say “I know” and move on. Truly does show how he’s more of an actions than words kinda guy, though.

- He then asks if you want to talk about it. If you do, he is the most attentive listener and hype man, it’s unbelievable. if you start ranting, he’s there to agree with your points, listen to your worries, and trash talk anyone who treated you poorly.

Matt

- The moment you walk through the door he’s asking you to sit in his lap and watch him play games/play games with him. He’s hoping the relaxing atmosphere of watching him or the amusement of playing will distract you from whatever’s going on.

- He’ll make casual conversation with you that slowly turns to questions about what happened. You barely see the change, so you answer him honestly.

- He might cook you some food. If heating up frozen food counts as “cooking”. He’s trying. It’s the thought that counts.

- Or if you want some distractions he’ll take you out to get food. He likes to people watch, so he’ll tell you the storylines he makes up for everyone at the restaurant.

- If staying inside is your jam, Matt will pick out a movie you both like and can quote by heart, hoping that the familiarity will ease you from your out of control day.

- His chill attitude really helps you relax from all the stress of the day.

[rwrights]

WE'LL BE OKAY - NAT.

summary : nat and you never got along. reasons still unknown, but it was affecting the whole team. steve assigns you both to a mission, with natasha acting harshly. she said something to you before heading off. she got in your head and the aftermath wasn't so pretty.

contents : angst (??) / fluff

warnings : mentions of blood, guns, bullying, cursing and just occasional marvel fight scenes.

NOT PROOFREAD. a/n : my first fic aaaahhh !! i was inspired by a lot of similar fics like this, but mostly by this WANDA FIC WRITTEN BY @/maximons - i suggest you give it a read BCS ITS SO GOOD ARRGH <3

you don’t know how the feud started between you and natasha. you couldn’t tell if it was because of your age or because you were new.

you had quite an age gap with the former assassin, being a striking 24 years old, but according to the russian - you might as well have been 12 years of age.

unlike most of the avengers, you had a decent childhood. it wasn’t filled with trauma, and death, and basically what some of them unfortunately went through. you grew up in the suburbs with your mum and two older siblings. you got all the toys you wanted and everyone loved you! because of that, you were always polite and cheery - it’s what made people like you. you were funny and usually managed to put a smile on people faces ; usually.

natasha found your positivity irking and unnatural. how could someone be so, happy? she felt as if you were shitting rainbows down her throat, and god, did she hate it. how could someone like you even have the guts to be an avenger?

she enjoyed picking fights with you out of nowhere, and as fun as it was at first - the hostility only progressed and became a disruption to the whole team, including you. you tried your best to really become friends with natasha - or at least be civil with her. but the more effort you made, the worse she treated you. all you wanted to do was make it a little easier for the team, you all have enough crap to put up with and the quarreling between the both of you was definitely not needed.

─── donk.

“nat! y/n! conference room one, now!” steve’s loud voice called out through the speakers placed throughout the compound.

you set your book aside before running down to the conference room as you were told. you walked passed natasha, already giving you a sharp glare from afar. she adjusted her speed and basically ran to where away from you. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her as you trailed behind.

you entered the room, greeting everyone politely before sitting down next to wanda, who saved a space for you.

“alright, now that we’re all here..” cap began, walking around the table where you were all sat. “we’ve got a mission for two of you,”

“did you call us here to compete for it? because i am so getting this mission.” natasha stated, pointing at everyone as if she was threatening them. “uh, no.. not exactly. we’ve already assigned the mission to two of you..”

“who?” she asked, wanting to leave the compound immediately and get some action (not the peepee way).

“you and y/n,”

hearing your name, you just froze. you couldn’t help but stare at steve as if he was out of his mind.

“what?!” natasha squeaked. “i’m sorry, but there is no way i’m going with her. it’s probably best if i go on my own!”

“that’s just mean..” you replied quietly, in your seat. you weren’t in the mood to argue, so you tried to contribute as little as possible into this conversation. “cap, if natasha doesn’t want to do the mission with me, i’m totally fine with sitting this one out.”

“oh, don’t suck up and use your y/n reverse psychology on this. it’s not gonna work,” she spat, obviously mad about the whole situation. “nat, i’m being serious. i know how much you’ve been dying to go out, so please. just take it.”

“no, y/n, you’re going with nat. we’ve decided this already.” steve stepped in, trying his best to set his foot down. “steve, i think you know this isn’t going to happen.” natasha glared.

“you either go together or y/n takes someone else.”

“steve! i swear i’m fine!” you argued, seeing how natasha’s ears were practically steaming from anger. “i-”

“no, you know what? fine. enjoy your mission, y/l/n.” she growled as she stormed out of the room. you couldn’t do anything but watch as she slammed the door shut. as much as you wanted to chase after her, you and everyone else in the room knew you’d probably make the situation a thousand times worse for natasha. you sighed and slammed your head on the table in exhaustion.

“we’re sorry, y/n. we thought her need for a mission would make her say yes even with the partnership.” bucky said from the other side of the room. your head shot up almost as quickly as you blinked. “what do you mean?”

“we thought sending you two on a mission together could… make the arguing stop - even by a little.” steve explained, sighing. you laughed at them, did they really think that would work? did they know the obstacles you went through to try to get on her good side? your first few weeks were HELL because of it.

“it’s alright.. clint? what do ya say?”

“always up for a mission, y/l/n.” he smiled, giving you a fistbump.

─── donk.

clint knocked on natasha’s door after the meeting. “nat? it’s me,” he called, nat opening the door a few seconds after.

“can you believe them? they know how much i dislike her and they’d send me on a mission with her? Bozhe mo! (oh my god!)”

“nat, y/n is awesome. it’s been months, it’s getting tiring.”

“oh, please. it took forever to get any of you guys to trust me. doesn’t mean it has to be the same with her.”

“nat, she’s a kid!”

“ugh, don’t say it like that. it makes my thoughts uneasy..” nat replied, mock-gagging. clint glared at her as he playfully shoved her. “you’re so stupid.”

“and oh, i’m going on the mission with her.”

“wait what?! but you’re my best friend, why would you take it!” she exclaimed. “i never say no to a mission, nat. you and i both know that. i thought you did, too.”

“i would’ve taken it, but.. no! i’m not losing this fight.” she huffed as she fell on the bed. “turn the tv on, i need to distract myself.”

he did as he was told and decided to stay and watch with her until dinner.

─── donk.

it was the day of your mission and you were making your way to the hangar. to your surprise, you saw natasha waiting there. you smiled at her only to receive another sharp glare. yeah, what a surprise. you looked away and decided to wait for clint.

not long after he arrived and said his goodbyes to natasha, just as you were going to aboard the ship, she grabbed your wrist and whispered in your ear.

“you’re gonna trip and get yourself shot, y/l/n.”

“what the hell? i’ve barely left and you’re already telling me i’m gonna fuck up?” you retorted, angrily. you weren’t in the right state to panic or stress. especially not before you were leaving. “have fun, y/n.” she smiled, dripping in faux kindness.

you followed clint onto the ship and couldn’t help but shake in fear. great, now you were worried. you didn’t want to fuck up. you weren’t planning to.

“you’ll be okay, y/l/n. i’ve got your back.” clint reassured, seeing the panic clouding on your face.

“thank you..” you mumbled, but natasha’s words never left your head.

─── donk.

“something seems off, clint.” you whispered, looking around and keeping your guard up. “i agree, y/l/n. it’s too quiet.. too easy.” he replied.

just as you were going to reply, someone charged at you from behind, getting a hold of your throat. by instinct, you kicked his shin and flipped him around. “clint!” you called out as you knocked your attacker out.

suddenly, groups of people were coming towards you - fully armed. “clint!” you screamed, pulling your gun out and shooting as many of them as you could. “shit!”

“y/n, it’s a trap!” clint finally replied, making you roll your eyes as you threw your fist at a guy’s temple. “yes, clint, i’m aware!”

“keep your guard up, y/l/n. you can do this!”

“there’s-” kick. “too many-” elbow. “of them!” shoot.

“try to hold out for as long as possible! i’m on my way,”

you looked up to see more men charging at you. “ah fuck,”

you grabbed one of the guns from the guys you managed to knock out and aimed. “clint, i can shoot right?” you asked for permission, not knowing if you were supposed to kill them or just simply knock them out.

“yes, y/n. you can shoot.”

“thank you!”

you silently thanked god for the gun you chose and started shooting at the guards. you quickly threw it away as they ran out of bullets and grabbed two pistols and continued to run and shoot away.

as you focused on getting a certain guard, one of them slid under you, quite literally slipping you off your feet - probably making you twist your ankle, giving one of them an opportunity to get a clean shot of your thigh.

the bullet went through your thigh, making you scream in pain. “fuck!” you shot back at him immediately and slid up onto the wall.

well great, another thing natasha was right about.

“y/n?!” clint called, hearing you scream. the worry in his voice was evident, it managed to make you smile for a second until you dodged another bullet.

“i’m okay!”

no, you weren’t. you could barely stand with your fucked up ankle and the hole in your thigh, but you continued to shoot and fight.

“just.. hurry up, please!”

you used your bad leg to kick a guy down and use him as a ledge. you cursed as you ran out of bullets. there were guns scattered across the floor, thanks to you. you just grabbed the nearest ones and looked back up.

as quickly as you did, a shot went through your shoulder and your abdomen. “gah fuck!” you collapsed on the floor as you tried to control the bleeding. you got up for a second to shoot back at the closest people and went back down. “clint, hurry up!” the pain was too much, the bleeding wouldn’t stop and your ankle looked like a fucking bean. you started to get nauseous, but tried your best to stay up.

“i’m here!” he yelled as he aimed at a few people in front of him. he ran towards you, finally seeing your state. “oh my god!” he kneeled down, putting pressure on your wounds to help with the bleeding, but the blood just kept seeping through “you just said you were okay, idiot!”

“i know, i didn’t want to worry you..” you mumbled. “no, no! y/n, you have to stay awake. come on!” he picked you up and started running away to go back to the ship. “you’re okay, y/n. tell me you’re okay right now.”

“i’m okay.. i’m okay, clint.”

“yeah, yeah, you are.”

you tried making it to the ship, but you were already so tired. “i’m gonna nap, clint..” you said before passing out.

─── donk.

clint alerted steve about you right when you passed out. they were rushing you out to the med bay to perform surgery on your injuries.

“she told me she was okay, steve. i thought she was okay!” clint screamed, he blamed himself for what happened to you. only if he arrived a few seconds before. you wouldn’t have been in the situation you’re in now.

“no, no. this isn’t your fault. neither is it hers, it happens, okay? we put ourselves at risk every time we step out of here. y/n was brave, alright?

wanda rushed down to the medbay, reaching for the door before pulling her back. “wanda, we have to let dr cho do her job right now. she’ll be okay.. y/n will be okay.”

she cried into steve’s shoulder - her best friend was being operated on. you were being operated on! the thought of you getting hurt never crossed her mind because she knew you were strong.

the team soon heard about the incident and let their worries out, obviously caring about you. natasha was confused about the whole hassle.

“vision!” she called out. he turned around and walked towards natasha. “how may i help you?”

“what’s the hassle about? everyone keeps whispering,”

“mr barton and ms y/l/n have returned from their mission, but ms y/l/n has suffered some major injuries and has been in surgery for about an hour now-”

hearing that, she sped to the medbay, thanking vision quickly. she saw wanda, steve and clint waiting around. “no, no, where is she?!” she yelled, making the three of them look at her in shock. “she’s still in-”

she tried running into the room like wanda did, getting pulled back by steve. “natasha, we have to let dr. cho do her job.”

“i need to see her!” she exclaimed, not being able to breathe. “what happened to her? what major injuries?!” she demanded.

“broken ankle, shot through her thigh, shoulder and abdomen..” clint recited, looking down at his feet. “where were you!? how could you let this happen?!” she roared, genuinely shocking them.

why did she suddenly care about you? well, yes, you suffered major injuries, but why was she getting mad?

“natasha! enough!” steve scolded. “this isn’t clint’s fault, and you know it.” he said, sternly. she didn’t reply as she panted. wanda held her hand as support, needing it for herself as well.

─── donk.

an hour later, dr. cho finally walked out of the room. everyone stood up in eagerness.

“is she okay?” steve asked, immediately.

“y/n suffered major blood loss, but we are lucky none of the three bullets hit any major arteries. she has also quite definitely broken her ankle, so i’m putting her on bedrest for at least 6 weeks until you get her up and going again.”

“main point, yes. y/n is okay.”

a smile broke out in all of their faces. “thank you, doc!”

“you may see her now, but she hasn’t woken up yet. don’t be too loud.”

they all walked into your room and stood beside your bed. “she looks so peaceful,”

“she definitely looks better right now than earlier,” clint joked, earning a soft laugh from the three of them. they stood by you for a while until natasha spoke up.

“um.. could- could i be the one who stays with her until she wakes up?”

they looked at the red head in surprise, “are you sure, nat?” steve asked.

“yeah.. i just want to be here.”

“alright,” they smiled softly at her before leaving.

she held your hand and stayed with you, waiting for you to wake up. it took for a while so she managed to fall asleep, holding your hand.

you slowly started coming back, groaning from the late pain you experienced. natasha jumped in shock and saw that you were awake.

“you’re awake!” she whispered, making you turn to her. “natasha? what’s happening?”

“you passed out during your mission. i know i told you you’d slip and get shot.. but i didn’t actually mean slip and get shot, idiot!” she scolded, flicking your forehead. “gah! it was an accident, i was doing fine,”

“no, you have three holes in your body. and not the good ones,”

“nat??” you replied, shocked. “did you just joke around with me?”

“no..”

“you’re holding my hand.. what did they bribe you with?” you asked, quickly getting suspicious. you tried pulling your hand away, but she only held onto you tighter. “nothing! i.. i volunteered. ask steve and wanda! and clint!” she replied, defending herself quickly.

“well, if you volunteered.. what do you want from me? i’m not gonna be leaving the compound for at least 2 months, so you can have all my missions-”

“no, y/n. truthfully, i just really want to apologize.”

“huh”

“i know i’ve made your first few weeks really hard and even after being here for months, i still managed to.. you know.. make it hard for you. in full honesty, i genuinely don’t know why i’ve been so horrible to you. i had a hard time opening up to people - and.. you were just so welcoming and i got scared. not an excuse for my actions, by the way! i was horrible and i’m so sorry.”

“thank you for your apology, i forgive you, nat.” you smiled, squeezing her hand. “i also.. have feelings for you.” natasha added, avoiding eye-contact with you. “you whAT?!”

“i-”

“i like you too! but are- are you serious?”

“yes, y/n… i like you. guess that’s why i was so defensive about.. literally everything.”

“nat.. thank you. for opening up to me. it genuinely means so much - especially after all this fucking time, you asshole.”

“are we okay now?” she asked, hopeful.

“yes, nat. we’re okay.”

[lholland14]

Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? (Jill Roord x Reader)

Jill Jamie Roord rarely got jealous. She knows Y/n is hers and only hers. Besides who in the world could possibly be an upgrade from her.

It was December 20th when Jill and Y/n boarded the flight to Oldenzaal, Netherlands to spend Christmas with her family. Not only was it Jill's first time home for Christmas, but it was also Y/n's first time meeting Jill's family.

~~~

When we finally landed Jill bounced up from her seat grinning, energized by the smell of the Dutch air. While she was excited to come home, I was dreading it.

Let's get things straight, I'm from Spain I speak Spanish, and English not Dutch. My girlfriend's family is Dutch. I don't know Dutch. I- ugh. This is going to suck.

As we drove to her home Jill pointed out landmarks, her favourite places, and just places in general. I could see her brimming delight at the prospect of seeing her family after so long.

~~~

When we finally arrived she bounded to there front door and didn't even knock twice before an older man opened the door with a smile.

"Dad!" Jill shouted hugging the man I presumed was her father

"Jill! Hallo, hoe gaat het? "Jill! Hello, how are you?"

"Ik voel me goed." "I'm good"

I awaited awkwardly for Jill to be finished greeting her dad so she could introduce me, but along came to boys bonding out the door.

They both looked very similar to Jill, so I guessed they were her brothers Jill told me so much about. The one with the moustache (who I presumed was to be Davy) hugged Jill and proceeded into conversation, the other brother, Boyd, walked over to me.

"So, you must be Y/n" He grinned sticking out his hand.

As I shook it I matched his grin and replied "You must be Boyd"

~~~

It was December 22th when Y/n was fully accepted by the Roord's. However Jill wasn't as pleased as she thought she would have been, it all started in the morning, or rather at 3am

~~~

I couldn't sleep. No matter how perfectly perfect my body temperature, no matter how comforting Jill's hand was around my waist was, I couldn't sleep. And it all because it was snowing, lightly, beautifully, like a perfect winters day. I had to go out and see it.

I put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and quietly walked out the door, only to run into Boyd.

He cursed as he dropped some of his hot chocolate he was holding onto my sweatshirt.

"Schijten" He cursed. As he tried to dabb at the already stained shirt I stopped him since I knew it was useless.

He sighed and looked at me apologetically before offering his own sweatshirt.

"Here," He handed me his own sweatshirt, but when I tried to refuse he continued speaking "Take it. It's only fair since I ruined your sweatshirt."

I thanked him and put it on. We were both silent until I made an offer that I presume would cause this whole debacle.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

He grinned before taking my hand and walked quickly to the door.

~~~

It was around 6 when we decided to actually build a snowman. We called him Billy, because Boyd liked the name.

After we created Billy we sat in the snow just talking, telling stories, spilling the tea on Jill.

Not noticing Jill had walked outside looking for me.

~~~

Jill's prov

When I walked outside I was worried until, I saw how close Boyd was to my girlfriend.

They were laughing, Y/n looked happy. Suddenly all the self doubt I had when we started dating resurfaced.

Was I enough?

Is she happy with me?

Would she be happier with someone else?

I simply tapped Y/n's shoulder to direct her to the door, since I knew she must be freezing. Maybe that's why Boyd had his arm around her.

She was cold. Thats all. She doesn't like him, she loves me.

I hope she still loves me.

The self doubt rose as Y/n sped her way around me to walk with Boyd while chatting with Davy.

~~~

It was December 24th when Y/n was getting the cold shoulder from her girlfriend. She thought it couldn't get any worse, but noooo it did. This time it all started at night or rather in the late evening.

~~~

I unlike many people I throughly enjoyed being in the kitchen. I loved to bake, but my true passion was cooking. I enjoyed it because no matter what you always get a result, and sometimes the result may vary, from burnt cakes to light Mac-n-Cheese.

Turns out Davy just happened to share my passion. So if someone shares your passion, its only reasonable to do that passion together.

So we decided to cook for the family. We kicked everyone out of the kitchen (except for Boyd because he wanted to help) and got ready. Of course we needed ingredients so Boyd and I went shopping together.

After an hour of kinda shopping and more joking around we came back to the house to start cooking.

Finally after a couple of hours and almost burning the house down thanks to Boyd, everything was ready. We made the rest of the family sit down while we presented the food.

While we ate Davy told me all about his girlfriend and Boyd joked that if Jill doesn't marry me soon he might. Jill abruptly left after that comment.

She later told me it was just because she was tired, but I didn't believe her.

~~~

It was December 25th when Y/n finally figured out the problem. This time it all started at promptly at 3pm.

~~~

"Whats wrong with you?"

Jill turned at the sharp voice of her younger brother Boyd.

"Nothing." She replied quietly

"No Jillie. I know you, why are being so distant to Y/n?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Did Y/n do something?"

Abruptly Jill turned around in order to face Boyd. He shrunk back when he saw the anger in her eyes.

"We're not having this conversation."

"Why not?" He replied starting to become angry. He had grown close to the kind girl and felt like an older brother towards her.

She scoffed "Why don't you have this conversation with Y/n? You two seem close."

"Wait a minute," His eyes widened as he understood the root of the problem "You're blaming me?"

"Of course I blame you!" She argued "You're the one that is stealing Y/n away from me."

Just as Boyd was about to argue back Y/n came in the room. She looked terrible, like she hadn't been sleeping there were also tear stain under her eyes as well. I looked over at Jill and saw her entire facade start to crumble.

Immediately she pulled Y/n into her room and shut the door.

~~~

Y/n prov

Jill gently pulled me into our room, shut the door then walked me over to the side of the bed for me to sit down. After I sat she went to the bathroom to get a cool wet clothe to wipe my face.

All this was done in silence as I stared at her while she gently wiped my face.

Finally I decided to speak up.

"You okay

"I'm fine," Jill replied, but you knew she wasn't.

Jill always said she was fine, but you could see past that. Whenever she was angry their became a paradox between her personalties. Usually she was sweet and extroverted, when she was angry she became introverted and snarky.

Sure you got angry with each other but the only difference was, Jill would act on her emotions. You were the rational one in the relationship, she was usually emotional but you could always figure out why. This time however, you were completely and utterly complexed.

You still didn't understand that she was scared of losing you, even more than you were scared of losing her. You thought she knew that you were hers and only hers.

"No it isn't. Jill, please something is obviously bothering you," I pleaded and Jill sighed. "Just talk to me! Please."

"Fine," Jill sat on the ground in front of me and you gave her a little smile. "Um, okay, I want, no I need you to know that I love you," She started, stumbling over her words. "You know that I'm yours and only yours. I'd like to think that you're mine, but sometimes I get insecure. You're this amazing person and player. You're smart, kind and everyone loves you, but that's the problem I guess. Everyone loves you. Everyone." She admitted. "It's just hard. Sharing you like that."

Finally she stopped ranting and stared at me. The silence thickened as I thought about what to say, then I decided to do something that didn't involve talking and was Jill's favourite pastime.

I kissed her. I kissed her like I was leaving for a year. I kissed her like she won the world cup. I kissed her.

"I promise you that there hasn't been a day that I stopped loving you, that I stopped wanting you. I promise you that no matter what you have always stayed in my head since the first time I played eyes on you. You are mine, and I am yours. Thats it, I will always choose you, no matter the time, the place, the situation. I. Choose. You." I told Jill when we parted.

She grinned before climbing into me lap to kiss me again.

"Besides you were the main topic of conversation." I admitted to Jill

She looked at me before looking outside again "Its still snowing out. Do you wanna build a snowman?"

[angelyuji]

I also love Yan!Spiderman, there will never be enough content for him ! Can I request a headcannon ? Or a blurb, whatever you prefer ? I love the amnesia trope, like the reader having long-term amnesia after an accident or whatever and yan!Spiderman swooping in, saying they have been dating for months... You may get suspicious of how flustered he gets but he knows so much about you, he can't be lying, right ? 😚

17+

cw// stalking, non-consensual picture taking, kind of kidnapping, familial neglect, car accident caused by superheroes, non-consensual kissing, non-consensual touching, forced hugs, lying, manipulation, “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss” energy, implied murder, peter being a crybaby to guilt trip you, idk peter being gross and pervy and being a liar, toxic relationship (kind of because you’re kinda not aware of the fact that he sucks and he’s lying)

· OMGBESTIE sorry i just absolutely ADORE the amnesia trope in yandere fics GHJKJHGF

· it’s just so perfect *chef’s kiss*

· anyway

· you got into accident that totally not caused by peter…yeah, it was totally definitely the criminal’s fault …

· but i mean, why were you driving in the middle of a villain attack anyway? oh, you had to go to work?...so??? peter didn’t give you the ok?????

· right, so he’s tossing cars and trying to bring justice (or something like that) and he saw you coming, but alas, he's too late

· you see something hurtling towards your car as you stop at a red light. you squint your eyes, “oh. ha, that’s a car…wait”

· peter was only a couple feet away when he sees the truck he threw slam against the hood of your car, crumpling the hood like it’s made of aluminum foil. time moves in slow motion as peter tries to reach you. out of reflex, peter shoots his webs to move you from impact. he can feel himself move, but his mind shuts down. when he regains consciousness, you’re in his arms, passed out, but seemingly unscathed. he feels relief, then fury. peter barely noticed when the paramedics came to move you out of his arms. he turns to the villain, his whole body shaking, and launches himself at the man.

· you end up in the hospital for a brain injury that left you in a coma and peter literally never left your side. he came every day and stayed by your side until visiting hours were over, and came into your room at night as spiderman after patrol.

· the hospital staff saw him so much that they assumed you were both in a relationship, so when you woke up at night during his patrol hours, they called him first.

· they called your parents after…weird, i know

· “how do you feel?”

· “fine, i guess. tired, surprisingly” you chuckle dryly and the doctor smiles.

· “fine is good. what’s the last thing you remember?”

· “…um….i can’t… I don’t-”

· “hey, it’s okay. take your time.” the doctor tries to be reassuring, but you feel panic bubble. what’s going on, why can’t you remember what happened? what’s happening to you? your breathing turns rough and the air feels thicker as you seem to remember less and less of what you should know. all of a sudden, two arms wrap around you and pull you into them.

· “it’s gonna be okay” they mumble into your hair as you cry into their shirt.

· peter and the doctor eventually figured out that you were missing 4 years of your life. the 4 years that you’ve lived in queens, to be exact.

· peter realizes exactly what he has to do when the doctor pulls him and your family aside to explain the situation

· (they had asked him who tf he was and he, in a panic to not be kicked out, said y’all were dating)

· he offers your family a way out, a way to not take the stress of taking care of you, by letting him take care of you

· “i love them. i can’t lose them and i won’t lose them, so please, let me take care of them”

· honestly, your family was lowkey relieved that peter offered to take care of you, not even remembering that you have never mentioned this man in any conversation (who has amnesia now??)

· peter would go into your room and tell you that you’re going home with him

· “what? what about my family?”

· “they’re okay with it. they have a lot going on and, as your boyfriend-”

· “boyfriend? i’ve never seen you before in my life?”

· “no! no, we started dating when you moved to queens!" at your blank stare, he lowers his head slightly and you see tears fall, "i wish you would remember”

· peter will pull out his pictures of you saying stuff like “then how do i have these pictures?? hmm????” and fake crying to make it seem like he was your grieving boyfriend

· he’ll be constantly mentioning the fact that he’s your boyfriend to you and to others (at some point, ur confused on whether he’s trying to convince you or trying to convince himself) “as your boyfriend’ “your boyfriend” “i love being with you and going on dates haha yk since im your bf”

· he’ll make up different stories from places he’s seen you. if he stalked you while you were walking at the park, he’ll say you both went on walks often. if you went on picnics by yourself often, he’ll say you constantly had picnic dates. had a fun day at the arcade? more like, you had fun day at the arcade with peter!

· peter’s smart, he uses these events as a way of tricking your brain into thinking that each memory you recover of these moments are just moments that are missing him, and eventually, he’ll start appearing in memories

· peter would take you to his apartment and absolutely REFUSE to let you leave, he’ll have an excuse ready to make sure you can’t leave your new home

· “the doctor said you shouldn’t move too much”

· he’ll make you sleep in the same bed as him, go on dates with him, hug and kiss him like “you used to do” with the excuse of “the doctor said you should do things that you used to do before the accident to start remembering everything”

· …riiight

· “are you coming to bed?” you lay in his bed, waiting for peter.

· “i-i sorry, yes, I-” peter stumbles on his words as he stands by the bed.

· you sit up in annoyance, “peter, you said we slept together. what’s wrong?”

· peter turns bright red, “no! nothing’s wrong! it’s nothing, i-i’m coming to bed in a sec.” you lay back down and soon you feel him crawl into bed. you turn your back to him, but peter pulls you closer to him and start leaving kisses down your back.

· “what are you doing.” you whisper into the darkness. his small touches feel foreign on your skin and your body itches to move in disgust.

· “i’m helping you sleep. uh-before, i helped you fall sleep like this, maybe this’ll help you remember” peter pushes his head into the crook of your neck and holds you closer, his fingers grazing under your shirt and feeling your stomach.

· you try to move away without panicking, “maybe, we’re moving too fast? i kinda need some spa-” you feel peter freeze.

· “do-do you not love me anymore?” you feel peter’s tears before you hear his sniffles, “i didn’t want to push you, but i just missed you so much and i thought that you were starting to remember how much you love me.” his sniffles turn to sobs and you start feeling guilty. you push your discomfort away and let yourself get pulled into his warmth.

· “no, it's fine. just don’t, you know, cry please.” you press your lips into a thin line and sigh as peter stops sniffling and hums in content.

· he’ll guilt you into doing what he wants with tears and sobs about how he misses “the old you”

· funny, considering the fact that this mf basically made up his entire relationship with you because he’s literally psychotic

· your relationship would be seemingly normal too, except that all of the friends that talked about how they’ve never met peter before your accident went missing…huh, definitely no connection there…

· but by the time they inform you of their concern, it is already months after your accident and peter would have already made you believe that you were dating

· in peter’s mind, you’re everything and more than he imagined, even though you barely know him, he knows you so well that it’s easy for him to make you believe that you’re together.

· peter would tell he’s spiderman once you’ve stopped resisting him to make sure that you won���t search up your accident and see that spiderman was involved

· the only way for you to break from peter’s grip on your mind is for him to accidently confess that he’s lied to you

· and that’ll happen, peter may be good at lying, but during a fight, he might let it slip

· “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO THEM.”

· “they’re my friends, peter. you can’t stop me from seeing them.” you roll your eyes when peter’s face crumples. “ugh, peter, stop with the guilt-tripping. your fake tears don’t work on me anymore.”

· peter’s face turns cold, “your friends are liars and they’ve been trying to break us up since the accident. all they say when they see me are lies.”

· you keep a straight face, “well, i know it’s a lie, so you don’t have to act like this.”

· “but-but what if you start believing them? what if you realize that you can do better than me? what if you remember everything? what if they make you break up with me? wh-” peter turns to you and sees you frozen in place. he moves towards you and pulls you into a hug, but you stay stiff.

· “what do you mean “remember”?” you whisper and peter’s eyes go wide. silence fills the room as peter says still.

· “well, shit”

-

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 2 Sakamaki Shuu [Track 5 + Epilogue]

Original title: 愛しうる限り & エピローグ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 2 Sakamaki Shuu

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke

Translator’s note: This CD really did deliver near the very end and tugged onto my heartstrings BIG TIME. Shuu being honest with myself and realizing just how much he loves the MC is honestly one of my favorite things in the world. ;w; He definitely solidified himself as nr. 2 in my heart once more. (Sorry Shuu, Subaru will forever be number one. <3)

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 5: As Long as our Love Lasts

Shuu is playing the violin again.

( At some point, I grew tired of counting, or even thinking about how many times I had played the same song, or how many days - or perhaps even months - had passed since she fell into a deep slumber. )

*Snap*

“Oh...The string...I haven’t taken care of this thing for a while, so I guess this was bound to happen. ...In the end, my song never reached you, huh?”

*Thud*

He walks over to the bed.

“I’ve honestly seen enough...of this never-changing expression. I wish I could have seen a glimpse of your past self for one last time, but I guess it can’t be helped.”

He takes a seat.

*Rustle*

“I’m sure you’re aware, but I always hated being waken up from my naps. Therefore, hearing your approaching footsteps was the most annoying sound in the world to me. However, having your face be the very first thing I saw when I opened my eyes after you interrupted my sleep, honestly wasn’t half bad. ...Just the fact I felt that way, means that you must have at least meant something to me. 

...If you were to ask me the same question you did before, then I would probably give you the following answer. ーー You are special to me. Not because your blood is delicious. You are the only woman on this planet who I wouldn’t want to lose, even if your blood were to disappear, If only I had said these words to you back then...”

Shuu suddenly collapses onto the sheets.

*Rustle* 

“...Ah...The effects are finally kicking in, huh? ...I haven’t been getting a wink of sleep as of late...So to ensure I can finally get a sound sleep...Cough, cough...”

*Cling*

“I drank a certain drug from this bottle earlier...You’re not going to wake up anyway...So you don’t mind if I sleep alongside you, right? Even if that is an eternal slumber...When you’re with me, I don’t mind. That’s just how much Iーー...”

He scoots closer.

*Smooch*

“...love you. ...Ugh...Cough, cough...Haah, haah...I finally gave you the words you’ve been dying to hear...yet you’re missing out on them...You foolish woman...Hahaha...I guess I shouldn’t say that, huh...? Ugh...”

Shuu loses consciousness.

*Shatter*

( I lost the feeling in my limbs, before my mind went blank as well and before I knew it, I was unable to think of anything. I couldn’t fight back against my heavy eyelids. Now I can finally get some rest again. ーー That’s what I thought, yet...Aah, there it is again. I can hear her voice again. Per usual, she’s calling my name as if her life depends on it. I’ve heard this voice a million times, but in the end, it’s nothing but my mind playing tricks on me. Even if I wake up, you won’t be there anyway. Therefore, I chose eternal sleep. )

*Rustle* 

( You’re persistent...Guess you’re stubborn even within my dreams, huh? )

You continue to call his name.

( Oh come on...Just let me sleep... )

You persist.

( Like I said, pipe down. Don’t shout my name over and over... )

*Rustle rustle*

“Nn...Hm? ...Ugh...”

*Rustle*

“What do you want? I was having such a nice nap...”

*Rustle*

“Ah...Oh? You...are awake? So that wasn’t just a hallucination right now? Or rather, why are you crying?”

You tell Shuu you thought he had died.

“Died? ...Oh, right. Why am I alive as well? Did you do something?”

You continue to sob.

“I can’t tell when you’re bawling like that...Hm? The taste of your blood...lingers inside my mouth.”

You explain.

“...You frantically tried to feed me your blood thinking that might be able to bring me back to life? I won’t deny that my wounds heal quicker when I have your blood...but I didn’t think it could serve as an antidote as well. Your blood really is something else. Well, you still won against it though. ...Oi, I don’t mind if you’re crying, but give me a good look at your face.”

*Rustle*

“I’m asking you to move closer. My body still feels heavy, I can’t move. Come on, scoot over.”

You move closer.

“How long has it been...? I’m actually reflected in your eyes.”

Shuu embraces you.

“Haah...”

*Rustle*

“Keep still. I can’t put in much strength since my arms are still numb.”

You ask Shuu what happened.

“I’m the one who wants to know what happened. Honestly, what made you suddenly wake up? Is it because I finally genuinely admitted my own feelings...?”

You tilt your head to the side.

“You know, you’ve been asleep this whole time, remember?”

You look at him in surprisement.

“Don’t tell me, you didn’t have a clue?”

You nod.

“Well, it happened out of nowhere, so I guess it’s obvious considering you were unconscious as well. ...No, it’s fine if you don’t remember. That was a nightmare anyway.”

You ask him if it was rough.

“...Yeah.”

*Rustle*

“A lot happened...It was one hell of a ride. But right now, rather than letting you go...”

*Smooch*

“Haah...Come on, don’t get all surprised over a little kiss still. However, I don’t dislike that side of you either. When you were asleep, you wouldn’t react no matter how many times I did this after all.”

*Smooch*

“...What? Don’t panic.”

You note his behavior seems off.

“Weird? You’re the last person I want to hear that from though. I told you, remember? I went through a lot. That being said, it doesn’t matter. It’s just...I came to realize a few things.”

You tilt your head to the side. 

“How you felt, for example. Or how important it is to put things into words every now and then. ...And what you mean to me, I suppose. ...I believe you woke up because I finally understood those things. Well, you don’t seem to realize that yourself though. Oh, right...I should apologize while I can. I’m sorry for acting indifferent towards you up till now. I deeply regret it. Soーー”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Please don’t get upset and fall into a slumber again, it pains me”

You tell him you never meant to do that to him.

“Even if that wasn’t your intention, it still happened. And it was much more wicked than having you lash out at me or run away from home. Not to mention it was extremely bothersome. I had to look after you 24/7, right? In that regard...you really are a handful.”

You apologize.

“Haha...You don’t need to say sorry, really. I’ve already accepted it. I’m to blame for falling in love with such a woman.”

Your eyes widen in sheer surprise.

“...What?”

You ask him to repeat himself.

“I said I love you, what about it? I said it earlier as we...Ah, right. I guess you didn’t hear me back then since you were still asleep. ...Haha, look at those rounded eyes, your face looks hilarious. ...I really do prefer seeing you like this.”

*Smooch*

“I understand you are having trouble believing me. I’ve only got myself to blame for that. However, I’m sure you’ll soon come to realize. I already had plenty regrets while you were asleep. From here on out, I’ll tell you these words until you’ll be tired of hearing them ーー How much I love you, that is.”

*Smooch*

Track 6: Epilogue

“...Hey.”

You turn around.

“You’re ogling way too much. It looks shameless, so come here.”

You run over

“Is an instrument store really that special to you?”

You nod.

“Well, I can imagine you have little affiliation with these places. When I bring up the name of a composer, you usually look at me as if I’m speaking Chinese. Although despite that, you seemed happy to visit this place.”

You explain.

“Ahー So that’s why. Honestly, it would have been much easier to just come by myself, but I’d rather not make you upset again by ignoring you.”

You smile, thanking him.

“...I see. Whatever. ...Anyway, I requested a full maintenance along with replacing the broken string, so it might take a while. We’ll get in the way if we wait here, so let’s go over there.”

The two of you move to another room.

*Creaaak*

You look around.

“It’s a test room. Customers can use this place to test out the intruments before purchase. There’s nobody here right now, so the owner said we can make ourselves comfortable.”

You ask Shuu if he plans to buy a new violin.

“No, I’m not buying anything. I like my current violin.”

You seem confused, wondering why you’re here then.

“You really are a fool, aren’t you?”

Shuu pulls you closer.

*Rustle*

“To kill some time, obviously.”

You get slightly flustered. 

“It’s a perfect way to combat the boredom, no? It’s muh more comfortable than having to wander around outside. On top of that...This place is soundproof. You can scream as loud as you want, nobody will hear. I’m sure you like the sound of that as well? ーー That being said, we have to think about your health. I doubt you’re already back in top shape, so I won’t do anything if you don’t want me to.”

You hesitate. 

“Hm~? In that case, you want it?”

You go quiet.

“Cat got your tongue? I seem to recall a certain someone was displeased because they were being ‘used’?  Clearly tell me what you want. Right now, I can actually live up to your wishes. ...What do you want from me?”

You ask for his fangs. 

“Hehe...I hate being ordered around, but hearing you beg for it isn’t bad at all. Especially when it’s the words ‘Suck my blood, please’.”

Shuu bites you.

“Mmh...Nn...I said you could make all the noise you want, remember? It’s not like anyone but me can hear.”

You get embarrassed. 

“Heh. First you beg for it and now you get all embarrassed. You’re kind of contradicting yourself there, no? Well, it doesn’t matter. In that case, I’ll go for one of your more sensitive spots so you won’t be able to suppress your voice. Mmh...”

*Gulp*

“Hah...Exactly...Let me hear more...Why still hesitate at this point?”

You explain. 

“You’re worrying for nothing per usual. You no longer need to be scared that I’ll find you annoying or get tired of you. Well, I won’t deny that there’s times I get a little irritated by your behavior. I’m sure I might be a little grumpy when you disturb my sleep as well. 

However, I would never grow to dislike you over something like that. I already know what kind of woman you are. You’re the type to beg for my fangs in a place like this. On top of that, a loudmouth who loves to meddle with other people’s affairs and quite the handful at times. To be honest, too much of a bother to keep by one’s side. 

You puff out your cheeks. 

“Haha. It’s the truth, no? However, despite all of that, I don’t want to let you go. So don’t worry. Just let out your voice to your heart’s content, giving yourself over to me all you want. I’ve already decided I will love every side of you after all.”

*Smooch*

ーー THE END ーー

[slytherinnbitch]

Proposal Part 2

Part 1

Harry walks into the cemetery in happy spirits. He can't wait to tell his parents about his decision to marry Draco.

When he stops infront of his parents grave, he finds fresh flowers there already. That's weird...

He frowns as he vanishes them and conjures up his own flowers in their place.

"Hey Mum, hey Dad," he says as a way of greeting as he sits down beside them.

"So I'm proposing to Draco tomorrow, I think it's about time, you know? It's just...I- I miss you. Like I have everything but one. Draco's parents, they aren't bad. I think I like them somewhat. Yeah I know how that sounds, Padfoot is probably horrified right now. The Malfoys, pup? How could you!" Harry makes a poor impression of Sirius and smiles as he thinks the scene which is hopefully happening in some other world.

"Tell him I know what I'm doing. Well somewhat. Do you think he will say yes? What if...what if he doesn't want to marry me? What will I do then, Mum? Honestly, I have no idea but I hope I don't have to think about that. I shall get going now, it's late and Draco is waiting." He caresses the grave once fondly, says his goodbye and apparates away.

...

"Hey Mione, I can hear Pans in the background as well." Draco says when he answers the phone call. It had taken him some time but now he could easily use most muggle appliances.

"Dracoooo," Hermione slurs and that astonishes Draco because Hermione never drinks a lot. Just a glass of wine or maybe two mugs of lager but not so much to get drunk. Just 'happy tipsy' she had called it when he had asked years ago.

"We have a secreeeeeet," Pansy sing-songs in the background.

"What secre-" Draco starts but suddenly it's Ron on the line, "Hey mate. Don't pay them mind, I have never seen these two more drunk. Hermione wanted to call to tell you that everything is in proper order and they have told Harry that tomorrow you have a picnic under the stars, as a gift from them. We'll meet you after, yes?"

"Yes, if everything goes well. Otherwise I would be vanishing from the face of the Earth for the next decade or four." Draco jokes, not really. Ron chuckles and they hang up.

Just then, Harry comes home and they order takeout, both of them too tired to cook dinner.

Just before midnight, Draco traps Harry between his body and their bedroom wall, "Hello, love."

A shiver runs down Harry's spine and Draco grins slyly, even after a decade Harry has the same reaction. Honestly, it's good for his ego.

"Hi..." Harry breathes, as he arches his neck in a silent request. Draco places sweet kisses all over his jaw and neck, sucking new marks and biting the tender skin now and then.

Harry is panting by the time he finds his lips. His wand vibrates in his pocket at the slight reminder that it's their anniversary.

"Happy Anniversary, Scarhead." Draco says against his lips and Harry smiles.

"Happy Anniversary, Ferret."

It's tradition to call each other names when wishing the other on a special day and at this point, it's quite adorable. You didn't hear that from him.

...

"We should really thank Hermione and Pansy for this, don't you think?" Harry asks as they finally sit down on the picnic blanket. The sky is bare of any clouds and they can easily see all the stars.

"Indeed, we should. What about an exclusive vacation to some exotic place? You think they would like that?" Draco suggests. It's the least he could do after such an wonderful arrangement.

"I think so, point me your star again?"

He takes Harry's hand and points towards the sky, slowly making an imaginary line with their hands.

There's a pleasant breeze blowing and the place is absolutely perfect, it's now or never.

"Harry, love. I have something to say," Draco says tentatively. Ugh, nerves!

"Oh? I have something to ask as well. You can go first though," Harry offers and smiles charmingly at him. Salazar and Godric, hope he says yes. Because Draco doesn't know how to live with a no, not after everything.

Here goes...

"Could you please stand up, please." Draco asks, "There's something I like to show you."

Harry frowns at him for a moment but stands up and faces Draco. He really hopes Hermione and Pansy can see them and start-

The sky is filled with different fireworks and Harry looks at them in awe. Harry had always been fascinated with fireworks and nothing brings Draco more joy than making Harry smile.

The words Will You Marry Me? shines through everything at last, crystal clear- thanks to Fred and George's handiwork. He gets down on one knee and takes out the ring box and holds it open.

Harry frowns at the words in the sky for a moment, then opens his mouth to say something to Draco and freezes when he sees him on knee.

"Draco..." Harry gasps, and his eyes widen. Maybe this was a bad idea, well it's too late now anyways.

"Harry, love. Today marks our ten years and in the past decade, I have learned so many things, I learned kindness and how love feels like and how- what I'm trying to say that in the last decade you have made me a better person each day and made me fall more in love with you. I want to do that for the rest of our lives and even if I don't really deserve it, I want to make you mine forever. So tell me, Harry James Potter, will you do the honour of marrying me?" Draco finishes with a smile and a single tear rolls down Harry's cheek.

"As inspiring as that was. This just isn't fair!" Harry whines and for a moment Draco thinks Harry is going to stomp his foot.

Draco hasn't been more confused in his entire life. He gives Harry a questioning look. Is he even going to get an answer or what?

Harry takes a calming breath and goes down on his knees. "This is what I'm talking about," he says and fiddles with his jacket and produces a black box, a ring box and was he ......

He opens the box and Draco looks up at him, "Yes, you idiot. I was planning on asking you tonight but no you always have to compete me." Harry huffs and then Draco starts laughing.

He can't help it, it's funny. They are both idiots, utter idiots. Harry looks very much like he wants to join Draco in his amusement but he holds off for ami minute, looking slightly put out. Then he joins in as well.

"So that's a yes then?" Draco asks, it doesn't hurt to be sure. Harry looks at him with are-you-actually-this-daft expression, usually Harry is on the receiving end of that expression.

"I can't even look at you right now." Harry says and drags him in for a rough kiss.

"Idiotic prat." Harry says as they break apart. "No Draco, I won't marry you. I just wanted to see how it might feel to propose to you on our anniversary just for laugh, yeah?"

Draco gives him a sheepish smile and Harry shakes his head.

"Give me your hand," Draco demands and Harry smiles fondly at his tone and gives his left hand. Draco takes out ring and places it on his ring finger where it will rest forever.

"My turn," Harry says and takes his hand in his and delicately places the ring there.

They look at each other tenderly with all their love on display, then slowly come closer. As if it's their first kiss and it feels like such as well, almost shyly they kiss each other, tender with love and rough with passion.

...

As they pull apart, someone behind them mutters, "Fucking finally!" And then all their friends are there, yelling out congratulations in various degrees as they come out from wherever they were hiding.

Pansy is the first one to reach them and she engulfs Draco in a hug and murmurs something in his ear which makes Draco swat her arm. She is onto Harry when Hermione arrives, closely followed by Ron, Blaise, Luna and Ginny.

They all congratulate them as hugs and kisses are exchanged. Harry is grinning throughout the night, even as they make their way back home.

He had been surprised when he noticed that they both had chosen almost identical rings for each other, except for the size of the diamonds. He had kissed Draco very inappropriately when he had noticed, much to Ron's horror. Seriously, the dramatics never stopped when it came to Ron and Draco.

"Draco...did you...visit my parents yesterday?" Harry asks as they keep their coats.

"...yes, I did, you know to ask for their permission. How did you-" Draco doesn't get time to finish because Harry is onto him.

He can't express the amount of love that passes through him at that single sentence. Draco went to Godric's hollow to ask his parents. The gesture is so sweet that he can actually feel his heart ache. They lose themselves in one another after that, no longer waiting for words to express their feelings, but rather showing it with their actions as they make sweet tender love.

Unbeknownst to both of them, craved inside their rings, is their story.

Masters of Their Own

Tagging @cissa-bee @sorry-i-ship-drarry @cupofsquirrelfan @textrovert-01 @a-disasterperson @thebusyfangirl @moramystery because you all requested this!

Part 3