#who he was talking about killing just a few seconds prior and who had the same outlook of blaming slime for tilins death as slime himself

[aarghone]

He's just a gunky goopy lil guy

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Generous offer

Word count: 5.1K♡

Part 3/4. This made my pussy scream a lil ngl...

Warnings: fem!reader, reader is upper 6 in this, decapition mentioned, regeneration, heavy Degrading, hard dom Kokushibo, hard dom Sekido, bratty reader, spanking with stick and hand, bondage, cervix kissing, shock play from Sekido, Dacryphilia (?), humiliation kink, rough sex, throat fucking, breeding, aftercare mentioned.

It is now the second upper moon meeting that has been held since one hundred and fifty years, and your Lord, Muzan, couldn't be more furious. Before this meeting, you had met Muzan a few weeks prior with your master and as well as your husband, Kokushibo, to discuss an offer Muzan had for you.

This demon, Muzan, was definitely terrifying. Kokushibo had told you he is business partners as well as the strongest upper rank for Muzan, but meeting him now after hearing so much about him was intimidating. The first meeting with Muzan wasn't as bad as you made it seem since Muzan tended to have a charm towards the female demons to make them submit to him.

You have been chosen to be the replacement for upper six. It was the best news you've heard in many years aside from your proposal from Kokushibo. You did everything to hold back your excitement and accepted the offer with no hesitation. Your task as now, an upper rank, wasn't much different than what you'd usually do.

When Kokushibo found you many years ago as a human, dying and begging to live, he turned you into a demon. Kokushibo had told you what to do to survive as a demon and gave you the same tasks as him, to find the blue spider lily for his Lord and to kill a specific family, also known as the Ubuyashiki family.

Both tasks were almost impossible to complete, especially helping Kokushibo prior, but now you're here, as a new member of the upper ranks and meeting the other uppermoons. This is the first time you are seeing Muzan angry, but you listen to Muzan rant on and on about how nothing has met his expectations.

You couldn't take anymore of his rambling, and your lip curled into a small snarl in annoyance. His reasoning didn't make any sense to you, and for him to scold everyone for something he could contribute to just felt highly unfair, especially when everyone was trying their best. You let out a soft sigh to stop yourself from overlooking the situation. You haven't been a demon for that long, so his way of thinking just could've been different from yours. Even so, it was definitely unfair.

Douma and your husband, Kokushibo, made very vaild points. If demons who have lived longer than you can't find this flower as well as a master minded family that hides from demons, then it just feels like an even more impossible task. You're still new, and you didn't feel like it was right to speak out just yet and just let the upper ranks who have been there longer than you do all the talking.

"If you have something to say, then say it, y/n." Muzan called you out, and now all eyes on you. It felt like spiders were crawling all over your body from the heavy chills sent down your spin. You knew Muzan could read minds, and you were very cautious not to think on your thoughts too much, but you underestimated Muzan. "Forive me, for I have nothing to say, Lord Muzan," you said and reminded seated next to your husband in the small room with the silk curtain covering you both.

"You're trying to block me away from your thoughts. I can feel it and I don't need to see your face to know you're snarling at me" Muzan said and before you knew it you were teleported to the center of were Akaza, Douma and Gyokko were. The spotlight is now on you. There's no escape, even if you tried. The only thing you could do to have some mercy shown is to get on your knees, take a deep breath to explain yourself.

"Master Kokushibo has a point, my Lord. Before i became an upper rank, I assisted Master Kokushibo with finding the Ubuyashiki family to annihilate them," you said and lifted your head up to look at Muzan. "However, they really are masters at hiding from demons, especially you and the upper ranks. Upper 2 also had a vaild point. Finding the blue spider lily is hard to find, especially since it's been hundreds of years," you said with some frustration in your tone.

"And what are you saying. So what if it's been hundreds of years, it can still be found," Muzan said in a heavy, raspy voice. "So... maybe my lord." You cleared your throat. "Maybe the blue spider lily... doesn't exist?" You said. The entire castle became dead silent as if nobody was living there. Judging by the silence, you fucked up and you couldn't help but look over your shoulder and see your husband still remained in the same spot with his back turned to everyone.

You felt hot air already. Upper three had his eye on you, upper 2 just sat there with a big smile at your words, and the silence broke once you heard upper 5 giggle. "You... shouldn't have said that, my dear," Kokushibo said, and before you could look over your shoulder again, your eyes met Muzan's "you seem to be misunderstanding something, y/n" Muzan said, being face to face with you and stairing into your eyes with such hostility and murderous intense.

It took you a moment to realize your head had been severed from your shoulder. "H-huh?" Your voice quivers in fear. Your eyes looked downwards to see your body fell over with blood spilling from your neck. You started to panic, you look back at Muzan and think to yourself that this is it, this is where you truly die and no one can save you, not even your own husband since he could never win againts muzan.

Kokushibo sighed. "You're not going to die... you are an upper rank now..." he said, which made Douma and Gyokko laugh at your assumption, and you're panicking. Ah, that's right, you can't die so easily now that you're an upper rank. It'll take a lot more than that to kill you. Your husband's reassurance made you calm down, but that wasn't enough to get you out of this situation.

"The blue spider lily dose exists. I know it, dose. For you to assume you could correct me and believe your right shows, you have not learned your place here. You are merely upper rank six, the lowest of the upper ranks," Muzan said. "I-I swear I didn't mean to disrespect you, my lord, it's just i-" you said only for muzan to cut you off mid way through your sentence by having his thumb press over your eye that said "upper.

" "i" nothing. I am your lord. You will follow the orders I give you and that's that. You should be ashamed for saying that knowing the demons ranked above, you have put in better decency in their work to try and meet my expectations, unlike you." Muzan begins to get more angry and starts to push his thumb into your eye while holding your head.

You scream in pain. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Forgive me, my lord. I'm sorry!" You cry out from the pain and seeing darkness from the eye Muzan is piercing with his nail. A biwa sound was played, and your head dropped down back to your body. Kokushibo had gotten up from his spot and looked down at you. Despite your scolding, Kokushibo got down on his knees and held your head to your neck, and watched you regenerate yourself.

"Thank you dear.." you said quietly while sitting up slowly. You started to rub the back of your neck and sighed once you've fully regenerated. "I asked... you excuse y/n my Lord. She.. doesn't seem to understand how strict the rules are with the ranks... I will discipline y/n thoroughly after this meeting" Kokushibo said. There was a rule Kokushibo did give you, a rule that you could never break, and that was to never go against Muzan.

Yes, you're Kokushibo's beloved wife, but you are working for his boss, and your actions could not be overlooked. Knowing that, you couldn't help but frown and get mad. "Very well," Muzan said and continued the meeting. You could tell Kokushibo is upset. An eye was kept on you the entire time to make sure you watch your words and what you're thinking about so you don't embarrass yourself again.

Once the meeting was over, you sighed in relief. "You really are bold y/n, hehe. Looks like you and I are in the same boat with only getting our heads cut off and being touched by Lord Muzan." gyokko giggled again with a bright red blush on his cheeks. "It's not something to be proud of." You look at him with disgust "damn fish.." you said quietly and then felt Kokushibo's hand grab your thigh and make you go silent again.

"I have to agree y/n! That was pretty bold of you. Next time, try not to say such silly things. You are in the wrong after all," Douma said, and that became your final straw. "That is your opinion, Lord Douma. I was only speaking from my experience, and I apologized and admitted I was wrong. I do not wish to hear it again from you instead of Lord Muzan, " you said, and Douma chuckles."What a brave wife you have, Lord Kokushibo, and beautiful too, Douma said.

In that time, Akaza tried to take matters into his own hands while being annoyed with Douma, and the Upper three became to talk amongst themselves. Your husband is angry now, from having to deal with Akaza and now you, it was all very troublesome to him. Once Akaza had left, you watched Kokushibo walk towards the steps where upper 4 was sitting.

You got up from the floor, looking confused and watched as the old demon man squealed in fear when Kokushibo stood in front of him. Hantengu screamed once he was thrown to the middle of the flood by you. You raised your eye brow in confusion. This is a demon ranked higher than you, yet he's scared? Just what is your husband planning? You kept asking yourself.

Before anyone could see, Kokushibo drew his sword and cut Hantengus body up into four pieces. You take a step back with wide eyes, IS this his privileges as upper one? Could he really just take any demon and do this to them? You thought to yourself but then watched as the four severed body parts start to regenerate into different demons.

It was a disgusting site to see. You've seen yourself and other demons regenerate before, but you've never seen a demon regenerate and form new bodies. You weren't educated on the other upper ranks, but from what you could tell, they four demons in front of you are clones.

The clones didn't say a word while standing before the upper one. "Stick your tounges out..." Kokushibo said. You were taken back, stick out there tounges? This was all too confusing, but you just waited for Kokushibo to finish what he was doing, so the "two" of you could go home. You watched as the demon clones stick out their tounges, but you see why they had to. Joy, sorrow, anger, and pleasure were witten on each of their tounges.

"You," Kokushibo pointed his finger to the red eyed demon. All their tounges go back into their mouths, and they look up at Kokushibo. "Sekido is your name... correct?" Kokushibo asked, and Sekido nodded. "That's correct. I assume there's something you need since you've split up apart," Sekido asked.

"There is. Your mission will be delayed... I need a demon like you to assist me in punishing upper six. Do you accept?" Kokushibo asked but more so demanding to the demon. Sekido only nods his head and accepts Kokushibo's request. "Pardon me.... but what are you talking about? " you said quietly and looked at Kokushibo. "Your punishment is what I am talking about" he said.

"I may be a clone, but I heard the entire conversation." Sekido gripped onto his staff and snarls at you. "How dare you think you could talk to the other upper ranks like that, especially Lord Muzan. How foolish," he said. You should be hating this. You should be hating how another demon is speaking to you like this, yet this demon, Sekido, was rather handsome to you.

Seeing your husband this mad also made you feel some guilty pleasure as well. However, it slipped you mind that this demon isn't coming back home with you to play nice, and you knew you broke a rule Kokushibo gave you, the one rule you just couldn't seem to follow.

It's going to be a long night for you in deed.

All the demons had left the infinity castle, and you, Kokushibo, and Sekido arrived back to your house. As the three of you walked to your shared room with Kokushibo, you noticed the red eyed demon still keeping his same angered expression. You didn't bother saying a word, and already knowing if you did, you'd get yourself into more trouble than you already were.

Once the door slides open to your room and the three of you walk inside, you watch as Kokushibo goes to the drawer of the nightstand and takes out a rope as well as a stick. He then sits down at the edge of the bed and makes an eye turn towards you. "Strip," Kokushibo said. Your eye brows frowned, and you held your hands together behind your back. "You're really mad at me? I don't think I've done anything wrong," you said and forming a small smirk at the corner on your mouth.

When it comes to Kokushibo, you've always had a playful personality with him, but right now, it wasn't the time to play, nor make him anymore mad than he already is. "You've never been punished before, have you?" Sekido said and then used his sharp nails to rip your kimono down from the top to expose your breasts.

"What the hell!?" You raised your voice and looked at Sekido. He grabs you by the chin and holds you in place. "Don't you dare raise your voice at me. Remember your fucking place and strip or I'll tear the rest of your clothing off" Sekido said and let go, almost shoving you back.

"I will not ask you again." Kokushibo repeated, and his hand now having a vine pop out as he grips the rope tighter. You gulp now, realizing this isn't the time to play any games, and Kokushibo isn't dealing with your bullshit right now. You start to take your ripped kimono off along with your underwear and let your clothes drop to the floor.

"Over here.. now brat," Kokushibo said and then looked at Sekido to shove you closer to him. You almost trip over your feet and stepped in front of Kokushibo. "Are you ready to admit... you've been disobedient today? I might give you a lighter punishment if you admit it." Kokushibo's hand slowly goes between your thighs and gives your thigh a squeeze.

You whine softly and wiggle your thigh out of his grip. Your arms crossed, and you turned your head away from Kokushibo. "I was not. I already got scoled by Muzan so I don't understand why I'm still in trouble" You said and then heard Sekido growling softly "you fucking brat" he said. Kokushibo grabbed you by the hand and made you turn around. He grabbed both your hands and ties them behind your back.

"I've had enough," Kokushibo said and pulled your body over his lap while making your ass face Sekido. You yelp in surprise and squirm. "Okay! I'm sorry! Don't you think you're going too-" Your words are cut off, and you gasped once you felt a painful sting on your ass.

"Shut up," Kokushibo said and spanks your ass again. "You've been a bratty little bitch at that meeting the whole time." He said, spanking your ass again and grabs your ass cheek hard. "Talking back to Lords ranked above you." Kokushibo clenches his teeth at you and spanks you harder. "K-kokushibo!" You whine his name, and your body jumps from his harsh spanking.

"It's Master to you," Kokushibo said as he grabbed the small stick and spanks your ass with it. "Fuck!" Your ass flexes a bit from the harsh sting. "and even now... You still insist on disobeying me," kokushibo said and spanks you one last time. You whimper softly from the stinging pain and wiggle your hips in Kokushibo's lap. "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry, " you whined, but it still wasn't good enough.

"Enough with the pathetic whining. You're a demon... look how fast the redness went away," Kokushibo said. You looked over your shoulder, fighting the ropes squeezing your wrists together and then watching as Kokushibo handed Sekido the stick. "You've disobeyed lord Muzan and myself. Meaning two spankings, but you've disrespected everyone in that room... there was a total of 11 demons," Kokushibo said and grabs your ass.

"Excuse me? 11 demons?" You asked in confusion and tried to look at Kokushibo, but Sekido spanks your ass with the stick, making you moan in pain. "Th-thats not fair..... you didn't even tell me how many spanking I'm getting," you whimper and tried to lay still but the stinging feeling took time to go away since this is a small object being used to spank you with. "It's time to use this dumb little brain and understand some math, slut." Sekido said and runs the stick past your wet folds.

"The number of demons in that meeting are 11 because that includes upper one, two, three, four and five, but that also includes me and my three brothers, Nakime and Muzan." Sekido said and grabs a fist full of your hair and pulls your head back to look at him "Get it now, dumb slut?"

You finally understood. You forgot to count the clones that split into four and now adding the eleven demons plus two spanking means you're going to get 13 spanks from that stick. Once you mentally counted, you whimper again, finding this unfair, but there wasn't anything you could do to avoid this humiliating punishment. "It's time to count..." Kokushibo said, and Sekido let go of your hair.

You pouted and grabbed the pillow on your bed, and hugged it tightly. Kokushibo and Sekido smirk, almost feeling bad for doing this, but they couldn't get enough of how your attitude quickly slipping away as you're being punished. "Count loud. Do not make me angry slut" Sekido said and spanks your ass with the stick again with more force and gasped, feeling a harsh sting on your ass cheek. "O-one!" You said loudly with a shaking voice.

This stick isn't the type to pierce your skin or make you bleed, but it caused enough pain and made thin red marks on your ass. Kokushibo's hand slips under you and removes the pillow from your grip and then uses his hand to wrap around your throat. You let out a heavy sigh as you felt pressure from Kokushibo's hand on your throat, causing you to lift your head up. This was mainly done so your voice can be heard more clearer without muffles.

Sekido spanks you again on the other ass cheek with the same amount of force. "Two! M-mhmm!!" You bit your lip and your back arches. Sekido rubs the stick on the other ass cheek, building up the tension and spanks you again. "th!- haa three.." You cried out. Again, "four!" and again. "Five!" and again "S-saa~ Six!" And again, "Seven!!" You whined much louder, and you couldn't even shove your face the the mattress to hide the embarrassment since Kokushibo had his hand wrapped around your throat.

Again, "Eight!" You groaned as you felt Sekido use the stick to spank your thigh. He watched as you jumped in surprise and shifted your body onto your side from the pain and your tied hands struggling in the ropes. "Sit still. Or would you rather I spank you tits with this stick?" Sekido leaned down and slapped your tit with his hand and teased your nipple with the stick. You looked at Sekido with almost fearful eyes, knowing he's serious. "I'm sorry. Lord Sekido.." You apologized and lay down properly on Kokushibo's lap.

"That's good.... it seems you are learning how to be obedient now." Kokushibo said. The painful spankings continued on. You have never been punished by Kokushibo, and after this, you don't think you ever will again let alone test another demon's Patience like sekido's again. "Thaa.. haa, thirteen." You now counted the last number and have completed the amount of spankings you've received.

Your body starts to rest from the intensity, but you knew it wasn't over yet. Kokushibo pets your head and then makes you stand on your two feet off his lap. Your legs felt wobbly already from your swollen ass but you just stood there and face Sekido. "You're going to apologize and admit you were wrong." Kokushibo said and still sat on the edge of the bed. Sekido put the stick down and then pulled a chair in front of Kokushibo and sat down.

You turned your body and watched as the anger demon sat down and tapped his leg. "You think spankings were enough? Come here. Your punishment isn't over," he said, and Kokushibo gave you a push towards Sekido. You nervously sat down on his lap, putting your bare ass on him, and then wiggled your hips softly, feeling the slight shining feeling come back. You also felt Sekido's hard cock press on your ass through his kimono.

You looked at Kokushibo, and your eyes trailed down to his lower half to also see his dick print through his kimono as well. You wanted to call it out but only moaned once you felt Sekido's hands cup your tits. "Tsk. I've barely touched you and your moaning like a bitch in heat" Sekido said as he starts to grope and massage your tits.

"Y/n. Are you sorry for getting bright with Lord Muzan?" Kokushibo asked. "I wasn't trying to be bright..." You pout. Kokushibo nodded his head to Sekido. Sekido pinched both your nipples and gave them a small shock. You moaned loudly with a groan mixed in from the shock and your legs squeezed together. "A-are you using your blood demon art!?" You whined to only get shocked again.

"Are you sorry for getting bright with Lord Muzan?" Kokushibo repeated himself. This time, you quickly nodded your head. "y-yes... yes, I'm very sorry." You said, almost begging for forgiveness. "And what about talking back to your Lords? You know... I hate when demons of a lower rank disrespect those who are ranked higher than them," Kokushibo said. You felt tears filling your water line at his words. "That's not fair! Douma and Gyokko were- aaahhh!!!" You moan, almost screaming from your nipples being pinched and felt a more intense shock from Sekido.

"I am not defending Douma and Gyokko. In fact, I am not doing this for them. I want Upper six to know her place among the upper ranks," Kokushibo said, referring to you. He sounds so mean and unfair, but that's how he is when it comes to his work. He wants you to understand that this punishment is needed for you to understand that speaking to Muzan and demons ranked higher than you like that could get you killed. He's doing this both as an upper moon and as your husband.

"I will ask again. Are you sorry for talking back to your lords?" Kokushibo asked, and you only nodded your head. Sekido's hand gose down to your clit and rubs it softly with two fingers before shocking you again. "N-not there! Sekido, please not there!" You begged as tears roll down your cheeks and your thighs shut together on Sekido's hand.

"What? I can't shock here but you can only nod your head to a fucking question" Sekido shocks your clit again with a dark chuckle. You lift your head up and see Kokushibo grinning. "Do it again... Sekido. Her pussy throbs so hard... and she's leaking from it" Kokushibo said and Sekido continues to shock your clit and even making Kokushibo chuckle at you how look.

You couldn't take it anymore and just apologized. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for talking back to my lords. I'm so sorry for being bright with Lord Muzan, and I'm sorry for not listening to you Master. Please forgive me," you begged and let your head fall down as you sob from the humiliation. Kokushibo got up from the bed and stood in front of you. "Good girl," he pets your head and then lifts your head up and gives you a kiss.

"You understand your lesson, correct?" Kokushibo asked and wipes your tears with his thumb. You nodded your head "yes i do, Master". "Good," Kokushibo said and began to underdress himself. Sekido cuts the ropes binding your wrists with his nails and starts to rub your ass "you're lucky you apologized. I wouldn't mind shocking you more to break you fully," Sekido said.

"On your knees.... let's put this bratty mouth to use, " Kokushibo said and rubbed his thumb across your bottom lip.

"Fuck, she's so good at this.." Sekido let's out a deep moan and looks down at you holding both his and Kokushibo's cock in your hand while sucking each cock at a time. Their sizes were different to take in, with Kokushibo is a grower and his cock is longer in length. You sucked Kokushibo's cock before and knew you'd always had a lot to take down your throat but Sekido is a different case.

Sekido's cock is averaged size yet it was so thick. Your mouth how to open wide to take his thick cock inside your mouth as well as bob your head to pleasure him. Your jaw started to hurt from adjusting to their sizes, so you just began to jerk them both off while sucking and licking their tips.

"Stop... stop~" Kokushibo grabbed you by the hair and pulled you away from his cock. "Sekido. Your only allowed to fuck her throat... I'm going to take her from behind" Kokushibo said and holds his hand out to help you get up. "Understood," Sekido said and watched as you and Kokushibo got in the bed.

You get on your hands and knees and moan softly once you feel Kokushibo's tip rub against your wet folds. "Mmm..." he hums in satisfaction. "Good work, Sekido. The shock has made her so wet.. I assume you get the job done with most ladies." Kokushibo smirks and pushes his tip in and out of your hole. "Do you hear that? Do you hear how wet you are..." Kokushibo said and continued to tease your needy pussy.

"Please, Kokushibo... d-darling, please, " you beg and wiggle your hips, wanting him to put it in desperately. "There's someone in front of you that you need to take care of..." Kokushibo said and slowly pushes his cock inside you and watches as your mouth hangs open while letting out a long, loudish moan while clenching on his length.

"Keep that mouth open slut. You're gonna continue to suck my cock till I cum" Sekido said and shoved his cock in your mouth open mouth "got it?" Sekido said and you nodded your head with his cock in your mouth. Kokushibo grinds his hips on your ass while closing his eyes and moaning softly from the feeling of your wet, gummy walls squeeze his cock inside.

You moan on sekido's cock as Kokushibo started to thrust his hips at a normal speed. Your skins clap together, making a pat,pat,pat sound lightly until the pat sounds become louder as Kokushibo starts to get more rough. Your body jerks forward as Kokushibo fucks you and making your head go back and fourth on Sekido's cock.

"That's it. Fuck~, you're going to take all this dick in your throat." Sekido placed both his large hands on each side of your head to hold you in place and begins to thrust his hips. You felt his pubic hair touch your nose as he pushes his cock further down your throat. Drool begins to fall from your lips as you relaxed your throat and breathed through your nose to take all of him in your mouth.

"Good fucking girl" Sekido moaned deeply as he slowly starts to fuck your throat. You look up at Sekido while moaning on his cock and your body still being jerked forward as Kokushibo's thrusts begin to get more harder "It's a shame.. haa~ I want to see her face but she's too busy getting her throat fucked" Kokushibo groaned as his cock grew bigger inside you and his tip now kissing your cervix.

You moan loudly on Sekido's cock from Kokushibo pounding your pussy and bullying your cervix. "You're so wet... don't you dare cum until I tell you I'm cumming. Holding it in," Kokushibo demanded, and you whimpered in response, whole breathing heavy through your nose. Sekido looks down at your face and chucked "she's fucked out now, lord Kokushibo" Sekido said and starts to fuck your throat harder.

Your throat felt like it was on fire. So much drool was spilling from your lips and getting Sekido's dick wet, yet you couldn't help the gag sounds you're making when you felt his thick tip poke the back of your throat. All you could do is moan, your mouth was stuffed with cock and your pussy is being destroyed from behind but you could feel them both getting close from Kokushibo bottoming out and hearing his moans become louder and Sekido's fat cock throbbing inside your mouth.

"Fuck~ holy fuck. I'm gonna cum. Drink it all bitch, don't you fucking dare make a single drop spill out" Sekido moaned and fucks your throat faster until he was balls deep. "You're taking it like a good whore... You're so cock drunk you don't even realize your making a huge, dripping mess on my cock" Kokushibo moaned and watches your clear juices make a mess on his cock.

"Im going to bread this pussy, haa i'm cumming~" Kokushibo clenches his teeth and growls mixed with moans as he cums inside you. Your legs shake and you cummed on his cock and moaning loudly as he filled your oussy with up while also beginning to drink to drink all of sekido's cum.

After you've calmed down from your orgasm along with Kokushibo and Sekido they pulled their cocks out of you. You're a demon, so this wasn't enough to tire you out or hurt you, but they both still did their part in cleaning you up. Kokushibo begins to rub your ass. He knows the pain is gone, but he still wanted to show some affection after the punishment. Sekido uses the handkerchief from his pocket and cleans your mouth off and sighed.

"You better have learned your lesson. Or I'll come back and help Lord Kokushibo to teach you another one," Sekido said, and you giggled. "Come over anytime," you said and made Sekido and Kokushibo smirk at the idea

[anonymous-dentist]

Okay I did some vod searching and here’s Cellbit’s pov of the prison announcement (in the form of a pretty badly clipped video lol)

A couple of things to note:

The silence

The stammer

The knife

The eyes

First, the silence, because it could be easy to miss from another pov because he was already pretty quiet before. But you can see the literal second it registers what Forever had just said because the change in the silence is palpable. He didn’t even raise his voice above the noise when he asked Forever if he was being serious.

Second, the stammer. This is a man who is very good at talking. Look at him during the presidential debates, nothing was able to keep him from talking, not even his own suicide. But then here he… can’t talk. He’s that shocked, and he’s terrified. See:

Third, the knife. Now this knife. Now this knife. It’s his emotional support murder knife. He only brings it out when he feels scared, and it’s gotta be a real deep fear for him to bring it out. It’s only been a few times, namely when he’s been triggered over his past, most notably when he and Richarlyson explored the Federation prison after Pac’s kidnapping.

And then fourth, the eyes. After he takes the knife out, Cellbit’s eyes flick back and forth between Forever the audience in what appears to be genuine confusion. Because, and this is important, Forever never told Cellbit about the prison. So between the fear and the Horrors, there’s some actual legitimate confusion in there because he didn’t know about this.

So now, after all that, let’s take a look at q!Cellbit’s character in general because I know there are people who don’t know about his very tragic backstory.

So Cellbit was in prison for… something. Probably murder tbh, but that was never confirmed. He was in prison with Pac e Mike and he was a really bad person. As in, murdering people, threatening people, ripping human ears off, stabbing, inciting riots (I think???). He killed Felps. He almost got Pac and Mike to kill each other.

And then, after being left to die alone on an island, Cellbit got some goddamn help for the first time in his life.

Before prison, he was in a war (ie the Hunger Games.) Then he was in prison, and the math is hunting towards him being incarcerated prior to his eighteenth birthday. He was 18-ish when he was in prison, and he’s 26 now, and he spent those eight years in therapy. Now he’s a better person, and he’s a very scared person.

He has many triggers, but the one that’s come up the most has been prison. He killed Abueloier that first time because they were in a prison-like cell. After hearing that Pac e Mike were arrested, he almost became another person as he interrogated Foolish (just watch that vod back, the whiplash is there.) When exploring the Federation’s prison, he was visibly on edge, clutching his emotional support murder knife and tensing when he saw all of the cells and almost stabbing Cucurucho when it appeared. Foolish asked if he could arrest him, Cellbit immediately turned him down, and he went behind his husband’s back to convince Foolish not to arrest him, either. (I’m not sure if he knows in-character about the prison cell in the new murder mystery game, but he will Not be happy if he gets put in there.)

So. Prison.

He wants to be a better person, is the thing. Cellbit doesn’t like thinking about who he was as Cell- he canonically even avoids cellphones when he can (see: Abueloier.) But he can’t help what happens when he’s triggered: he killed Abueloier, he almost attacked Cucurucho and risked his whole new infiltration plan. He’s worried about hurting someone again, because he knows he’s capable of it. He might not be the best at pvp, but that doesn’t matter when half the server is just as bad as he is (/affectionate.)

He doesn’t want to hurt his family, and there being a big huge physical trigger all of a sudden in the form of this prison he wasn’t ever told about has clearly made him realize that, oh shit, this could be bad. Bad for himself, and thus bad for others.

[kissitbttr]

“toji, baby? can you do alena’s hair please?” you call out from the kitchen, fixing simple breakfast for your little family,

he nods at you, giving a short kiss on your cheek as a confirmation before heading towards his little girl’s play pen. his eyes brighten when alena is busying herself with her my little pony plushies, adorable messy hair comes into view making him chuckle,

“hey ya sweetheart, having fun?” toji walks around to face his pretty baby, the sound of her dad’s voice causing her to look up. he swears the moment her big round eyes stare at him, he’s ready to kill anyone who dares to try take his daughter away,

with a toothy smile, she babbles away while clapping her chubby hands. feeling excited to see her dad there, seemingly cannot wait to be picked up by him,

“aren’t you the prettiest girl i have ever seen, hm? aside from mama of course. dunno what she sees in me. she’s a ten and i’m not. i’m happy she chose me, though. such a lucky bastard” toji makes sure to whisper the last word to himself because he doesn’t want his daughter to hear him cuss.

his hands go under her armpits before lifting her up, little legs kicking away in excitement making toji chuckles. “time to do my little alena’s hair!”

he brings her to the baby chair near the dining room, where you can see it too. your eyes look over your shoulder and smile at the sight of him setting your baby down,

“got anything to work on today?”

toji shakes his head, rolling the sleeves of his sweater up to the elbows. “nah. took a day off. i’m letting shiu handling it today”

one of your eyebrows quirks up, turning out to plate the cut up fruits and eggs on the table. “oh yeah? what if there’s something really important come up that you need to—“

“i need my girls more” he cuts you off with a soft voice and a grin, his eyes look up to you and see you mirroring his smile but it’s much more prettier to him. “plus, i’m sure they can handle not having their ceo for today. and tomorrow. maybe”

his fingers move to thread lightly under the strands of alena’s hair as she toys with a little action figure toji had gifted her few days prior. it keeps herself busied while he’s doing her hair,

“how about you, baby? got any meetings or anything?”

you shrug, grabbing a few utensils. “just one with the team to discuss the launch of our newest design. should be quick, though. hopefully. i need to speed up the process and everything because it seems that everyone is fuc—freaking slow.”

he chuckles, tying a band around alena’s mini bun. “i’m sure you can handle it, darling. you’re ruthless like that. one of the reasons why i fell on love with you, is it?”

“would you still, if i had to kill them?”

“absolutely” he answers without hesitation making you laugh,

“god, we are bad parents”

“don’t know what you’re talking about. we’re pretty good at what we’re doing” toji smiles at his baby, who suddenly chucks the toy towards the table. “damn, our baby got strength”

“got that from you, i think” you lean towards the table and snatch a cut up strawberry before plucking it into your mouth,

“nope. that’s from you” he corrects, softly patting alena’s hair that are sticking out. “remember when we had an argument and you almost hit me with—“

“we do not talk about that” you shake your head, not wanting to remember,

“was pretty sexy to me” he replies casually. “i was so turned on by that”

both of you share a laugh, causing alena to look up at both of you at the sound of it.

“so—do i get to see my pretty wife’s latest design or—“ toji trails off, planting a kiss on alena’s chubby cheek before grabbing a handful of berries for himself,

you tilt your head to the side, a small smirk tugs upon your lips and toji immediately catches what that look meant for,

“i see trouble” he eyes you for a second, chewing on the juicy fruit. “is it sexy? god, if it was you can’t keep teasing me, baby. i’d die”

“so dramatic, you won’t die”

“i will for you though” and he means it. “is it dresses? leather involved perhaps?”

shaking your head, you reply “lingeries, babe. night gowns, garters, panties. all that”

and toji suddenly stops moving. breathing even. his eyes widening at the mention of lingeries,

“oh fuck. you are killing me.”

“toji! language!”

but alena just laughs at her silly banter between her parents

[huevobuevo]

ive fuckingggg HAD IT . i am going to talk about gegg qsmp because idk why but charlie slimecicle made one of the best representations of age regression ive seen in media and i am NOT joking.

so i dont rlly post alot about the qsmp on my blog, thus i wouldn't be surprised if this post goes unnoticed or ignored by a vast majority of my friends & followers. for those of you who ARE reading this with no prior experience with the QSMP lemme just quickly summarize some much needed background knowledge.

(Quackity Voice) The QSMP Is The Worlds First Multi-lingual Minecraft Server; it hosts a wide variety of twitch streamers who speak English, Spanish, Portuguese, and French. the beginning plotline of the server (which is where Gegg came into existence) follows the various players as they are grouped into pairs to care for a dragon egg. The main ones that will be talked about today are Tilin, Quackity's egg, and Juanaflippa, Slimecicle & ElMariana's egg. The eggs are, of course, played by anonymous admins, who have given these eggs their own unique personalitys despite only communicating through signs and emotes. The players have quickly imprinted on their respective eggs, as expected, and have gone on to view these eggs as their own children. The rules were simple - each egg had two lives and two lives ONLY. each day the eggs have tasks for the streamers to complete ON STREAM or else the egg could die of starvation & neglect (points at Trump, Maximus & DanTDM's egg).

i will be referring to Slimecicles character in the QSMP as Charlie or Slime for better coherency. from now on i will be referring to the characters, not the streamers.

Slimecicle and Mariana were not the best parents to Juanaflippa, but it was clear that they truly and deeply cared for their daughter. They supported her transition and, especially in Slimes case, did everything they could to make sure their daughter was safe. Juanaflippa had lost her second life due to an accident, which caused Slime to loose his shit and go on a murderous rampage to try and get the literal Minecraft Jesus Christ of Nazareth to come back and revive his daughter (she came back after a court case. long story.)

Basically Juanaflippa was loved, and she loved her parents back- but there was someone else she cared for the most in the whole wide world

Tilin, who Slime offered to take care of once her father had to log off game. There was another accident, and Tilin was caught in the crossfire between Charlie and a few mobs at night. She was on her second life, meaning that Charlie had officially ended his daughters best friend right infront of her eyes. Distraught and ashamed, Charlie ran off into self-isolation and left Juanaflippa in the care of Mariana and their friend Roier. During his "Eggxile" while he was trying to find a way to bring back Tilin, Charlie learnt that Mariana killed Juanaflippa AGAIN. Instead of going on another tirade Charlie just lost it.

He's now carrying the deaths of two children on his mind, isolating himself from what little friends he had on the main island. During his initial stay on the island there were only English and Spanish players, but when the French and Brazilian players arrived he still spent a majority of his time in isolation. Charlie wasn't apart of a good chunk of the main island lore for a long, long time, and pretty soon it began to feel like he was completely, and utterly, alone. He attended a wedding and a few parties, but it was visible how outcasted he was from all the new events and connections. He had regular breakdowns and pretty soon began to believe that Juanaflippa wasn't dead, she was just... somewhere else. He was gonna get her back. He did it once, he'll do it again. Fuck, he couldn't even bring himself to attend her own funeral, and even when he was allowed one final goodbye with his dead daughter Charlie still refused to accept the fact that Juanaflippa was never gonna come back home. He built a campfire on the beach of his Eggxile house with three chairs- one for him, one for his wife (who hadn't logged on in months), and one for Flippa.

TL;DR q!slime is going the fuck through it.

Later on Quackity decided to get Charlie in on a plan to try and steal from other peoples houses. They both lost their families, so it seemed only fair to Quackity that they ruin other people's lives as well. Basically Charlie had to pretend to be Quackity's NEW egg so that he can get close with the other eggs and fuck shit up.

Charlie liked it. Charlie... REALLY liked it, actually. His egg name was Gegg, and without knowing it he began to age regress.

Im calling Gegg a form of Age Regression because not only is Charlie mentally AND physically becoming a child, but through Gegg Charlie is allowed the freedom to escape his grief and explore what it means to be a "child" who was loved unconditionally. On the last Gegg stream Slime referred to the little goopy guy as something that lives inside of him. Gegg takes over him and he just looses himself in the act. He's not just playing a character called Gegg, he IS Gegg.

In the very first stream as Gegg he expressed his desire to learn what having a family was like- a common reason most people have for regressing. When "regressed" to this state Charlie/Gegg is constantly acting as a young child and actually enjoys it! He LOVED being Gegg! Even if it got too far in the end, Gegg was allowed to be open about his wants & emotions. Charlie was pushed back into the lives of the other players and fully reconnected with several people again for the first time since his self-imposed isolation. He gained new friends, too, once Gegg was introduced to the Brazilian and French players.

In turn the players never made any effort to expose Charlie's regression. while at the beginning there was some distrust & confusion over Charlie's sudden egg act it never went farther then a few subtle jokes at Geggs "true" identity (commenting on his backflips, which is something Charlie was known for). Aside from Wilbur, everybody treated Gegg as any other egg-child. He was cared for, his tasks would be completed on occasion, and the French+Brazilian players ESPECIALLY loved him! They supported Charlie's regression since at this point they began to realize how much shit he has been through since the deaths of Tilin and Flippa. Not only that, but the eggs as well played along with Gegg's coping mechanism; Leonarda (FoolishGamers + Vegetta777's egg) was one of the first to try and adopt Gegg as their own baby, while Chayanne (Philza+MissaSinfonia's egg) & Tallulah (Wilbur Soot's egg) acted as his "Geggsiblings" (even though Tallulah sorta got a bit rude to him during their second encounter, im guessing due to a new admin who wasn't around during Tallulah & Gegg's first interaction),

Infact, one of the best scenes of the Gegg Arc was during an interaction between Gegg & Bobby. Bobby was Roier & JaidenAnimation's egg, and he was also close to Juanaflippa & Tilin. The two kids talked through signs, where Bobby confessed that he held a grudge against Slime for what he did. Gegg said that he had every right to be upset, the poor boy had lost two of his closest friends after all. But then Bobby did something that shocked Charlie- he forgave him. he told Gegg to tell that "green guy" that he shouldn't be hard on himself anymore, both of them needed to move on already. Not only was Bobby a child, but he was one of the main eggs Quackity wanted Gegg to kill off first. Bobby was the reason why Gegg existed, the reason why Charlie was given the chance to heal from his trauma, and now he is telling Charlie to his face that its ok to forgive himself for the deaths of Tilin and Flippa.

Bobby knows who Gegg is, everybody does, which is why they treat Gegg with the same amount of love that every other egg gets.

Age Regression has frequently been misunderstood, and very rarely does it get the proper representation that it deserves. It is a very "taboo" form of coping, which is unfortunate due to how common it actually is. Most people feel uncomfortable with the image of grown adults acting as toddlers in diapers, and lump it together with the whole Age Play/DDLG ordeal- yet they fail to take into account what age regressors are ACTUALLY like. while it is something that just about anyone can do, the type of regression I will be talking about stems from people who seek refuge from traumatic events usually in their childhood. It can be voluntary or involuntary, and is a way for people to explore & reevaluate what it means to be a child. it is just that- a trauma response, one that im sure many of you participate in but are too scared to discuss it due to the stigma around it. Children who have experienced abuse regress, Teenagers who struggle with mental health regress, Adults with severe PTSD regress, and yet it is such a misunderstood part of the healing process that is practically unaccounted for in media. There is little to nothing on age regression representation that delivers it in a respectful, honest manner, due to this stigma, which only serves to push it further into the shadows of mental health discourse.

So to see age regression be used on a fucking minecraft server of all places in such a healthy light is so refreshing to see. While ironic at first, Charlie showcased age regression as something that shouldn't be shunned. It actively aided him through a dark period in his life and showed that he deserves a second chance. After Gegg canonically "died" Charlie returned to the island for his birthday and was finally ready to move on from Flippa & Tilins death (and then, yakno, the whole Codeflippa Arc happened)

TL;DR #2 Charlie Slimecicle's Character In The QSMP Age Regresses As A Way To Cope From The Deaths Of Two Eggs & Oh My God It Was Actually Really Fucking Emotional

[tumbleweed-writes]

Death and the Lady: Chibs Telford x Reader

An idea I've been tossing around in my head. Might continue it if anyone is interested in more.

--------

The plan to pull any forensics team from Lodi heading to the Sons burnt warehouse and the two dead bodies in the cellar of said warehouse was a bold one. Jax was proud of himself for  coming up with a creative solution that would require no spilt blood.

He spoke quick to present his plan to his uncertain brothers. “Look, all we need for a murder is bodies and a crime scene.”

Chibs was fast to speak, not quite getting how this was any different from the prior plan they’d had to just kill some Nords and attract the attention of Lodi’s forensics team. "Ya lost me Jackie."

Jax replied the answer was so obvious. “Skeeter, guy’s got more gambling debt than he can handle. I’ll make it worth his while.”

“The cemetery guy?” Bobby questioned doubt clear in his voice.

Jax nodded his head sure of his plan. “Yeah, I give Lodi a front-page murder and we don’t stir up another shit-storm that might bite us in the ass.”

He cringed the second the words left his lips. There was only one issue that might screw up the plan. Skeeter the Sons connection to access to Charming’s nearest crematorium and one of its oldest funeral homes wasn’t in town at the moment. 

“Shit.” the statement left him.

Tig groaned, not entirely thrilled that the plan was being shifted away from his original idea or just straight up murdering some Nord or some other scumbag. “What?”

Jax cringed again, hating to admit that there was a wrench in the plan. “I just remembered, Skeeter’s not in town.”

Tig stood up again ready to jump into action on the original plan. “Alright, that settles it. We stick to my plan.”

Jax spoke again, raising his voice as another solution entered his mind. “Y/N.”

Clay furrowed his brow, the name somewhat familiar though it had been years. “She's back in town?”

Jax ran a hand through his hair, a sigh leaving him. “Yeah, she’s taken over the family business apparently. She’s back. Been back for a few months now.”

Chibs frowned totally lost on just who this Y/N was that everyone but him seemed so familiar with.

He continued to follow the conversation, his interests peaking further as Jax spoke again. “I don’t know…she’s cleaned up her act apparently. She’s worth a shot though. She’s got enough history with the club. I don’t think she’s cleaned up enough to go running her mouth if we approach her with this.”

Clay shook his head at this news not missing a chance to push back against the idea that she’d be totally useless to them. “Money talks, clean act or not. You make contact with her, get this plan on the road. Who knows, she might come in handy in the future, if she’s down to accept our gifts in exchange for a few favors. Might be smart to have a funeral director readily available. Who knows just what she has access to. From what I’ve heard her father left some debt behind and we all know her brother is off in the county nuthouse. She might be willing to play ball if we offer her some incentive to chip away at that debt.”

Chibs furrowed his brow all the further having to wonder just who this Y/N character was aside from a funeral director that his brothers all seemed to have some familiarity with. 

Chibs had been patched over in Charming for about a decade now, surely he would remember some funeral director that had some sort of wild streak that his brothers all seemed to remember? 

He mulled over the thought as the club proceeded to discuss their plans. 

He wasn’t the only one mulling over the change in plan. Jax felt his stomach twist uncertain if Y/N would be as willing to help out debt or not.

He’d heard the gossip around town and it all seemed to indicate that little miss Y/N had turned over a new leaf and had really matured from the twenty year old girl who’d been sent away by her father years before. 

Jax rubbed the back of his neck, his stomach churning at the path that lay ahead of them. 

Y/N Y/L/N was no Skeeter, but she would work in a bind.

He just hoped she was not as on the straightened arrow as it appeared.

—---------------------------------------------------

The cemetery in Charming was actually quite massive despite the smaller town. Generations upon generations had been buried on the land. On the property sat a crematorium that was used by the few funeral homes in Charming as well as a chapel where services might be held.

One of the funeral homes that often used the on sight crematorium was Y/L/N and Sons Funeral Home.

Ironically enough, there weren’t any sons in the business…at least not anymore.

Y/N Y/L/N had taken up the mantle of her father’s business. The funeral business was something she’d fought against for so long. 

She had resented it in a way. She resented being known as the creepy kid in school because her father buried the dead. She resented the expectation that she would follow in her father’s business once her brother had clearly proven he just wasn’t stable enough. She’d resented the fact that even though she was expected to follow this path that the And Sons part of the name wouldn’t be dropped.

She had rebelled and she’d rebelled hard. Charming’s local MC had given her an environment to indulge in that rebellion. She had used the environment to cope with her personal issues and heartbreaks. She’d barely been legal the first time she’d visited the Sons clubhouse and during each visit after that she’d allowed herself to fall into the chaos of a Friday night party.

A few years of her life had been dedicated to that chaos until she’d hit rock bottom. Drinking and associating with Charming’s criminal element had been fun, until it had not been so much fun.

Her father had given her an out and she’d taken in traveling east to start anew. She’d tried to find a life outside of death, but she’d found within a few years that she did have a genuine respect for the family business.

It was all she’d ever known and she’d decided to follow her father’s footsteps on her own terms. She’d enrolled in mortuary school out east and had found work upon gaining her license.

She’d assumed she’d finally escaped both Charming and her past.

The past had a way of biting you in the ass though. She’d learned that the hard way.

The family business had been left to her and though she wanted nothing more than to remain out east she’d realized that the family business wasn’t the only thing she’d inherited from her father.

Debts and her brother were now her responsibility. So, Y/N had traveled back west, back to Charming.

She should have known the MC would come knocking eventually. Her past associates would eventually realize she was back in town.

So, it should have been no shock with the crematorium doors swung open at least one familiar face walking in the door.

She turned from the cremains she’d been sifting through the thick rubber gloves she wore making her hands feel damp with sweat.

Chibs Telford wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but the pretty young woman standing by a flaming cremator wasn’t at all what he’d pictured when he heard the words funeral director.

She was not dressed all in black the way he’d been picturing. To be honest he’d imagined some stuck up and possibly even creepy looking woman in a black pantsuit.

The pretty woman standing by the cremator was wearing dark wash blue jeans of all things and a black tank top. Her brow was somewhat damp with perspiration from the heat of the crematorium. Chibs took notice of the bead of sweat that traveled down her neck disappearing between the valley of ample cleavage the sight sending a jolt of lust through him. She had a nice figure; attractive curves that were complimented by the tight fit of her jeans. Her long hair was piled on top of her head fastened with a clip in an attempt to deal with the heat. He furrowed his brow as he spotted a pair of baby pink converse sneakers on her feet. 

She was less Morticia Adams than he’d been anticipating. She looked more like she should be hanging out at a farmers market or maybe having ice cream at one of the mom and pop parlors on Main Street. 

The pretty woman he’d been so unabashedly admiring finally spoke a sigh leaving her lips. She looking none too pleased by her guests. “Jackson.”

Chibs felt his heart lift the soft sweetness of her voice not what he'd been expecting at all even if she didn't sound happy.

“Hey, darlin, long time no see.” Jax replied always the flirt even when on business.

Chibs frowned a small part of him, somewhat certain he didn’t like the clear undertone of a history between his brother and this young woman. He pushed back the thought knowing it was ridiculous. 

Y/N sighed, shaking her head, her eyes studying the friends Jackson Teller had brought along. She didn’t recognize a single face other than Jax Teller’s. Though she guessed it shouldn’t be too much of a shock. She’d been away for so long.

She didn’t study her company for long, a sigh leaving her. “I’m assuming this isn’t a social call.”

Jax gave her a small sheepish smile. “Not entirely.”

“Skeeter’s not around, I’m afraid. He’s out of town, hopefully not at the racetrack.” She remarked a small frown crossing her features at the thought of her father’s associate.

Although she didn’t approve of Skeeter’s conduct at times, she knew he’d been a loyal employee to her father. He was now her loyal employee. She appreciated that loyalty despite his habits.

That loyalty hadn’t stopped him from associating with the Sons of course, but who was she to judge given her own past. 

“They really cremate bodies here?” Half Sack spoke getting close to the cremator gazing within the flames.

“Aye an sometimes we do.” Chibs spat out smacking the prospect in the back of the head before yanking him from the machinery.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, the thick Scottish brogue not entirely expected. She gazed at the owner of the accent unable to place him anywhere in her memories.

She knew her memories from that time in her life might be somewhat hazy, but she was sure she’d remember a Scottish accent in the middle of northern California.

She was certain she’d remember the man standing in front of her from the accent alone. She felt her stomach churn noticing the deep scars embedded into his cheeks. If she hadn’t remembered the accent then she definitely would have remembered the scars.

He gazed back at her his sunglasses dropping slightly, his dark eyes gazing at her, the action giving her an unexpected reaction.

She frowned, not entirely amused at the mixture of lust and curiosity that stirred up in her under his gaze.

She wasn’t that girl anymore, a voice in the back of her head scolded her. She’d grown up and changed. It had been almost ten years and she was a new person, a better person. She was no longer the biker groupie.

Jax stepped forward, breaking the spell that had seemed to wash over both Chibs and Y/N without anyone around them really taking notice. “We aren’t here to see Skeeter Darlin’. We gotta ask you a favor. I’m here to ask an old friend a small favor.”

“Favors are never small with you from what I remember. They also usually have a way of biting me right in the ass if my memory serves me right.” She replied, reluctant to pull her eyes from the Scotsman and back to her old friend.

Jax smirked, nodding his head. “Fair enough.”

He cleared his throat fast to speak again. “We need two bodies.”

“Jesus Christ, Jackson. Why are you coming to me with this? I’m not some club hangaround anymore. I’m trying to be a better person and you’re dragging me into this shit.” She snapped a groan leaving her as she took off her gloves slamming them down on the counter beside the cremains she’d previously been attending to.

Jax sighed, not entirely shocked by the reaction. He prayed he was right when he’d remarked that she wasn’t so on the straightened arrow that she wouldn’t go blabbing the information to the Charming P.D.

“I know it’s a lot to ask but…” He barely worked out before she spoke again.

“A lot to ask? You do realize when I got licensed I had to take several classes on the ethics of the funeral profession. I’m pretty sure handing out bodies to the local MC violates so many of those ethics I swore to uphold and is considered abuse of a corpse. You do realize I could lose everything if you fuck up and it leads back to me? You aren’t just asking me to let you borrow a freaking cup of sugar here, Jax.” 

Chibs twisted his lips somewhat amused by how browbeaten Jax seemed to look upon this outburst.

If the outburst had come from a less pretty woman, Chibs might feel frustration. After all, they were depending on this girl to help them out of an utter shit-storm.

A small part of him had to admire the balls she had to speak to a dangerous looking biker in that tone of voice. 

She was bold, bold and pretty were admirable traits in a woman. 

Jax reached in his kutte pocket pulling out a thick manilla envelope. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s a lot to ask, but we’re in a bind here. SAMCRO is willing to compensate you for taking the risk.”

He paused handing over the envelope feeling somewhat guilty to even bring it up. “I know your old man was struggling to keep things running towards the end. This could help alleviate some of the burdens he left behind.”

She gazed down at the envelope, part of her wanting to toss it right back in his face the other part of her wanting to toss in the cremator as a showing of just what she thought of his attempts to buy out her morals.

She cringed a the heft of the envelope her mind crossing over those burdens Jax was mentioning.

Business was steady, but her father hadn’t been in the best health towards the end. It hadn’t been easy to tackle some of the debt left behind even with steady business.

She also felt her mind flash to her older brother. Institutionalization was expensive, even on a state level.

She gazed within the envelope making up her mind knowing it might damn her soul. 

She shook her head, her jaw tight. “Two bodies?”

Jax nodded his head relieved that Clay had been right. Money talks. “Yeah, one white guy and a Mexican guy.”

She rolled her eyes, tempted to snap that this wasn’t a custom order shop and he’d get what he got and he’d be damn happy with it.

She gazed at the still flaming cremator. “I had a guy who died in a work accident….uh worked for the electric company. It’s a closed casket. He didn’t have enough of a family to give a shit and suddenly want an open casket at the last second. They’d barely even pay for me to do the embalming. Stop by the funeral home in a couple of hours and you can have him.”

She paused shifting in place, hating herself for doing any of this. “There’s a fresh burial, one of my guys just filled in the hole this morning…cheap casket. He should be fresh enough still, I’m a damn good embalmer…even with the cheap jobs.”

She gazed down at the envelope, a voice in the back of her head screaming she was completely soiling the profession she loved. She was scum. She’d been entrusted to care for these bodies and make sure they had a peaceful rest, and this was what she was doing.

She ran her thumb along the envelope, a louder voice claiming that the money would help.  The money would help ease the debt and help make sure her brother got the best care available.

Between the debt and her brother's care she was drowning.

She was at risk of losing a family business that had been there for generations. It was her legacy.

She knew she could sell the family business and pay some of those debts but that seemed like such a shameful thought. Then there was the issue of her brother. Daniel needed around the clock care and it got pricey. The money could help to keep providing that care.

Without the institution he'd be moved to being in an even worst institution as a practical ward of the state or worst kicked out of the hospital. She knew he wouldn't stay medicated on the streets and she couldn't take care of him. There was no way he could live with her in his condition. They'd gone down that road before. Her father couldn't care for Daniel and she sure as hell couldn't.

She knew she was betraying the dead by taking this money but a voice in the back of her head snapped that the dead didn't need money. She sure as hell needed the money. Selling her morals and ignoring her conscience was the one way out of tunnel of debts and uncertainty. This action would surely damn her to hell and she couldn't take a moral high ground that she was a better person now. 

It was damn hard to be the better person when you were stuck eating a diet of mostly ramen noodles and selling plasma just to barely scrape by. It was hard to be the good person when your brother needed yet another expensive medication to keep his symptoms under control. It was too hard to be the good person when you were so damn tired.

She knew she was going to hell for this, but she already felt like she was in hell half the time anyway with all the financial stress.

She sighed as Jax spoke, giving her a small grin. “Thanks Y/N. I know this is a big ask…”

“It is.” She interrupted a sigh leaving her.

She spoke again a grimace crossing her features knowing if she was damning her soul for this action she might as well fully commit. “From now on…you don’t go to Skeeter for favors. I’m your first contact.”

Chibs raised an eyebrow once again taken by the brass balls on the girl. He resisted the urge to smirk a little amused; she felt comfortable presenting this idea with as much of a fuss as she’d put up a second ago.

She spoke again, shaking her head. “You’re right, the money helps in more ways than one. I’m willing to do more favors in the future for a price…we both know I’m more reliable than Skeeter any day of the week.”

Jax grinned at the proposal. Maybe Clay had been right, having a funeral director in SAMCRO’s arsenal did hold the possibility of promise. “Of course, darlin’. You’ll be our first call. In fact we might need to borrow this crematorium later.”

“It’s done. Just call me. My number hasn’t changed.” She remarked that strange jealous feeling stirring up in Chibs’ gut again.

Her number hadn’t changed, a number Jax Teller apparently knew.

He didn’t have long to focus on the strange sense of jealousy or how it confused the hell out of him as the Sons turned to leave ready to leave and get this plan moving forward.

Chibs wasn’t pulled from his thoughts until Juice finally spoke, the man not having said anything this entire time. “I’m glad to be out of that place. It gives me the creeps.”

“Aye, the creeps.” Chibs remarked not able to focus on the environment they’d just been in the woman in that environment far more interesting. She was far from creepy.

To be honest Chibs Telford wasn't sure what to make of her. That concept puzzled him.

Juice watched as Jax sped up ahead of them before he spoke almost as though he could hear just what Chibs was thinking. “At least she’s not creepy as hell like Skeeter…I mean she's spooky given her job...but she is kind of hot…wonder what she meant by club hang around. She doesn't look like the average croweater...at least I don't get that vibe. Curious to know what that history is.”

Chibs frowned as that jealous little feeling stirred in him again. He shook it away a huff leaving him unable to stop himself from agreeing. “Aye…spooky.”

He paused shaking his head hating to admit that he was a little curious himself about just what the history surrounding Y/N was. 

[kinkandkreep]

Hey hey y'all! 👋🏾

Soooo...𝑫𝒚𝒏𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒚 is complete! What did y'all think? Did you enjoy the ride? Were you surprised by any of the developments of the story? Were you on Team Forgive Miguel and Try Again or Team Kick that Bastard to the Curb? Let me know down below! 😁

I thought I'd do a little FAQ regarding the story, and also answer a few extraneous questions I received.

So, here we go!

First Question: Why did Miguel cheat?

Simple. Miguel cheated because he was weak.

...

Nah, I'm just playin'. Sorta.

Miguel cheated because, as was mentioned in the story, he was a coward and thought it was easier to run and seek comfort in the arms of someone who fed his ego and fed into the illusion he'd created about what true heroism is, than to try and actually talk it out with the one who truly held his heart.

Of course, I am by no means attempting to justify Miguel's behavior in saying this, but I will say that he was under a great deal of pressure trying to maintain the situation with the multiverse and had resolved himself to sacrificing whatever in order to keep it intact. (He also felt he was under pressure by the reader to have children, and though he wasn't opposed to the idea in the sense that he didn't want any, he didn't think it was safe enough to have them.)

When the reader naturally A.) couldn't comprehend why he was so willing to do something so comparatively extreme and B.) subsequently was against it, Miguel saw this as selfishness, and his tired mind sought out someone who he could relate more easily to.

The more time he spent with Layla, he naturally spent less time with the reader, and subsequently wasn't getting his carnal needs met because when he did spend time with the reader, the atmosphere was tense and they would argue. This eventually lead to him sleeping with Layla, to sate his sexual desires and take out his frustration in a way he couldn't with the reader.

Did that all make sense? 🙃

Second Question: Why did Miguel kill Layla?

Though this was explained briefly in the story, I realize that it might have been a little unclear, and that quite a few details were omitted. In short, Layla was a threat. She threatened to expose Miguel's affair to the other members of the Spider Society, none of whom had any knowledge of Layla's existence. If she'd exposed not only his affair, but the fact that he was harboring an anomaly from a different timeline without making the other society members aware, they very likely would have turned on him and he'd have lost his credibility and support. He couldn't have that, and so he dealt with Layla as his instincts dictated.

Third Question: What was the reader's plan?

The reader's plan is simultaneously simple and a bit convoluted. The reader, having been negatively influenced by her bitterness about her situation and Miguel's actions, decided that she also wanted to have her cake and eat it to. She decided to play the long game, willingly getting pregnant because A.) she still wanted a baby and B.) she could use her pregnancy to manipulate Miguel.

She essentially gaslit, gatekept, girlbossed her way out of her situation with Miguel. 😂 Over the months leading up to her conversation with Peter B, she used subtle manipulation to get Miguel to do beneficial things for her, such as changing her lodgings so that she could mor easily explore the complex and look for ways to escape while simultaneously making sure he was none the wiser.

Fourth Question: Was Layla a Spiderwoman?

Short answer, yes. Layla was a Spiderwoman from a separate universe who had lost her family during the collapse of her timeline.

Fifth Question: Why did Miguel already have a room ready for the reader prior to her discovering his affair?

So, this might be a bit of a longer explanation. Essentially, Miguel was a yandere for the reader before she tried to leave him. I didn't go into too much detail about that (and I may do a little sequel-prequel talking about that in more depth 👀) but he only created the room once the affair began. He always feared that the reader would find out, and created the room as a precautionary measure.

(Oh wait, actually, this explanation was pretty short and straightforward...yay!)

Sixth Question: Did Miguel ever love Layla?

Short answer, no.

He was admittedly fond of her, but only because they shared a similar responsibility. He also felt pity for her, given that she had lost everything and was forced to abandon everything she knew.

Seventh Question: What was in the vial Miguel had in the lab in chapter 5?

Contrary to popular speculation, the drug in the vial was neither meant to make the reader addicted to Miguel nor was it meant to solely act as an aphrodisiac. The drug in the vial was actually meant to increase fertility exponentially, as Miguel's intention was to get the reader pregnant and make it so that she couldn't, and wouldn't want to, leave him.

That's all the questions I could think of for now. If y'all have any more, leave them in the comments below or drop me an ask and I'll get them answered! Also remember to let me know if y'all would want a companion drabble detailing how the cheating started and the buildup to that with Miguel and the reader.

Aight, that's all from me. Thank y'all for readin'! Ari out! ✌🏾

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 🎃💦 ∘₊✧ 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟚𝟚 ✧₊

|| ︶꒦꒷𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥꒷꒦︶ | main masterlist ||

@absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 Prompts

day 22: True Monsters, Spiritual Possession, Sexual Exhaustion

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞

| PAIRING(s): monster!Joel Miller x soulmate!f!reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 2.2k | CONTENT: it's Joel Miller as a humanoid monster beast creature with a massive cock idk what you want me to say, creative liberties with anatomy and bodily fluids, they're soulmates because I wrote this so of course they are, monster!Joel can talk a little but it wouldn't kill him to watch a few episodes of Reading Rainbow or do some alphabet flash cards tbh, one curious use of an aquifer as a metaphor | SYNOPSIS: You encounter a frightening beast in the forest after getting separated from your group. Instead of killing you, he spares your life - the first of many surprises from this mysterious creature.

The prick of his maw grazed your collarbone, breaths coming so frantic it was hard to keep from ballooning into the death trap of his jaw altogether. Perhaps it would just be easier to give in. Let yourself be ravaged by this man beast and succumb to the darkness it offered. You lie caged in his form, waiting as he evaluated his prey. Looking for the weakest point of flesh to rend with his incisor. Watching with delight at the flickering pulse he was soon to take from you.

But seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, and still nothing. Just the rancid humidity of his breath flowering over your trembling face and body.

“Just do it already,” you whisper, hoarse and resigned and too tired to fight anymore.

A horrid, strained sound crawled from his throat. It dawned on you he was attempting to speak. “Want. Close. To you.”

You blink a few times, frozen in shock. “Y-You want…to be close with me?”

The man beast grunted something like an affirmation, and it was then you noticed the beady insistence of his eyes. There was something almost human there. Almost.

“What do you want from me?” you shudder.

The man beast made an aggravated noise. I just told you what I wanted.

“But w-what does that mean? Close?”

He seemed calmer now, more understanding. As if it was everyday you found yourself conversing with a humanoid creature large and powerful enough to rip you clean in half. “You say. You tell what close. I go with you.”

You shake your head against the rough rubble beneath your head where he has you pinned against the ground. Had he tackled you to keep you from running further? Had he not wanted to catch you to kill you like you’d assumed when you were running as fast as your feet would carry you? Was this all some strange misunderstanding?

“You want me to decide? What close means? How close I want to get?”

Again, that strangled noise of communication, this time an affirmation – or at least you think so. In all honesty, you wanted as much space between you and this hulking man creature as possible. His body was a rippled mass of musculature and strength that spoke to the devastation he could cause if he wanted to. And yet, something in his eyes, in his softened movements as jittery as they were, called to the deepest parts of you to tend to him.

“Can you– I want to get up,” you say with a great deal of mustered courage.

“You run again.” His vocalizations were becoming smoother, more sure. Maybe it had just been a long time since he’d spoken to someone else? You wonder who he’d learned from and where they were now, what had become of prior human companions.

“I won’t,” you promise. “Besides, you’d just run me down again. You’re faster than me.”

This point seems to clear away any misgivings he had about retreating from crowding you against the ground. “Don’t want you to run.” Somehow he sounded sad beneath the gravel of his timbre.

“I ran because you scared me.” You prop yourself up enough to scoot back against the wall of the alcove he’d dragged you into.

His eyes lock onto yours and burn something truthful. “Don’t want to scare.”

It was this tentative olive branch between you that led to the next few days of one another’s company. If your group hadn’t found you yet, there was little hope that they would at all. So, you spent quiet nights together, eating whatever the man beast hunted and brought back for you. The weak fires you were able to light paled in comparison to the warmth of curling against him.

He’d stayed true to his word of not wanting to frighten you. As the weeks went by, you could sense in his movements that he was attempting to display an understanding of your hesitancies to get close to him. You could feel his form practically melt into yours when you finally gave into the magnetic pull each night and meshed your bodies together.

The first time you were intimate was entirely your doing. Watching the pacified creature sleep next to you, moonlight illuminating the breadth of him, you reached a hand to explore. He was so warm and firm and solid. You used the opportunity to unabashedly stare and ogle. So much of him was beastly creature, but so much of him conveyed man. 

You weren’t sure if he’d once been human and had somehow managed to cling onto sparse remnants of it all this time or if this is just how he'd always been. His speech had improved greatly over the past week in particular, but there was still a limit to what could be communicated.

Your hand drifted lower, cheeks tingling with heat as you skimmed between his hindlegs. You’d seen it, of course. He wasn’t clothed, never had been. But he much preferred walking about on all fours than upright most of the time, and you weren’t afforded many direct, uninterrupted views. Thankfully not the case now.

Much like the rest of him, it was impressive and a bit daunting. Thick, veined, and imposing, it rested gently against his thigh. He made a small sound in his sleep when you tried to take it into your hand. You couldn’t wrap around the whole of it, and it sent something hot and electric down your spine, a liquid flame of arousal that had you more awake than you’d been since he first caught you. He stirred at your motions, grunting and trembling breaths as he watched you curiously with half-lidded eyes.

“Feels good,” he slurs through sleep thickened vocal cords. “You make me feel so good.” The way he says it implies he means more than just in this moment – you always make me feel good.

Something otherworldly seems to take hold of you at this admission. Like something had finally shifted and locked into place. It feels right to give him that blanket of repose. It feels right to be here with him now like this, the furnace of his body listing closer to yours as if drawn by some invisible force.

“What if we…..?” You trail off, distracted by that almost human stirring in his eyes as he holds your gaze with an intensity that neither challenges nor frightens you. “What if we wanted to make each other feel good?”

He considers you quietly for a moment and slowly reaches a clawed pad of a hand to your face, advancing with a touch of eagerness when you don’t shy away. “It’s all I want to do.”

You lack the substantial breadth and heat of his indomitable form, but your skin feels alight all the same. You nod, an encouragement for him to proceed. The grit of his touch summons a wave of goosebumps over your body, a low gasp catching in your throat. It’s this sound that plumes into the surrounding air and wrenches it over you both like a weighted shroud. The world feels smaller, nonexistent except for the space you share.

“It’s all I want you to do,” you choke out.

The moonlight flashes against the ivories of his lethal jaw when his lip pulls back in a heated snarl. The tongue that had refined his speech over these past few weeks now wields itself into a binary slip against the column of your neck. There may as well be branding marks left in its wake, and you shiver at the combined sensation of being immersed in flame and frost all at once.

You pull at the wrap enclosure of your attire, mere scraps of what had once clothed you from the elements in what felt like a lifetime ago, and let it fall open to the wayside. An almost pained keening sound of appreciation vibrates through his chest, and his eyes cloud into that void of black, betraying any notion that this was merely man and not entirely beast.

The forked appendage slithers in separate directions, curling to meet in a spiral around your peaked nipple. You grab at his forearms and tug at the tussock of hair that first meets your grasp – anything to keep you from springing heavenward at the staggering and blinding paroxysmal bliss. His mouth drips with a viscous want onto your skin as he flicks and squeezes his tongue across your chest.

“Please,” you exhale. You gently push his head further down, and he growls at your anxious need for him to give you more.

“Pretty,” he grunts. “Pretty for me like this.”

“You’re so beautiful,” you whisper, almost sounding on the verge of weeping at the sentiment and significance of whatever has been growing between you and now blossoms in the fertile soil of an infinite springtime.

You clench around nothing when you see the swell of blood that has fattened his cock while he was exploring you. It would be an unnerving consideration if you weren’t sure this was a predetermination of meeting, two souls binding into one. The silent communication and understanding passing between the two of you makes you wonder if you too will lose your speech over time – the practice of words lost to the redundancy of vocalizing to a being who has come to comprehend every thought and feeling you possess.

But for now you aren’t mute, a cry of pleasure spilling out as he sweeps his tongue inside your drenched hole. The tendrils of muscle dance on the ridged, spongey shape inside you. The spot begins to warm under his motions, a heat siphoning from his tongue as a rock awash in sunlight. A surreptitious and soft febrility that coaxes a release from you without any sort of warning. You erupt a cascade of fluid, an aquifer skillfully unearthed by his articulations.

He slurps and suckles at it with a voracious grizzle that rumbles from the recess of his barrel chest, whining when every last bead of it has been lapped up. He crouches above you, his imposing girth slapping against your mound. The entirety of it seeps a syrupy dribble, the warmed honey sensation dripping between your folds. He positions himself at your core and trembles at the anticipation of finally becoming fused to you.

You reach a hand between your legs and guide his bulky tip to the lip of your entrance.The balmy salve of his secretion draws a sigh from your mouth, and he whimpers as he licks into it. You clutch the span of his neck and shoulders as he eases inside of you.

The besoothing purl was not so great that it eased all the sting and pinch of accommodating him. Your breath catches when he slips far enough to nudge the mouth of your womb. You let out a sharp hiss when he pushes further, filling as much of you as he can. He groans when he reaches the terminal of your core. “Filled with me.” He says it in a heaving breath like he’s staked his claim.

“E-everywhere,” you blubber. “I feel you everywhere.”

“Feel you everywhere,” he echoes in a shared sentiment.

“I need you,” you choke out, wriggling your hips just enough to further the blissfully punishing effort of taking him. You whine at the involuntary spasm of your cunt swallowing and obliging the heft of him.

He groans at your deference, at the gentle surrender of yourself to him. “Mine,” he growls and rocks into you for the first time in earnest. It punches the air from your lungs, and you hold onto him tighter.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” you repeat as he ruts into you. His cadence stutters and becomes haphazard in its drive to mark you as his his his. You can feel each pulse of blood through his veiny cock as it rubs the velvet confines of your core. Your skin glistens with the strain of seating the bulk of it. Every curve and dip and slope of him dragged against your walls. Each drive pushed you closer and closer to another freefall. With one harsh drive of his cockhead against your cervix, your eyes flash wide open in a jolt.

The choking clench of your climax suspends his thrusts, walls locking down and ensnaring his length where it cleaves you in two. A euphoric sob escapes you as tears cloud your vision and you ride out your high. His own release comes quickly after yours with a cacophonous baying wail tearing through the still night.

The flood of him inside you curls and crests until it is met with no other place to go but out of your sticky, drooling hole. It rushes in a stream onto the ground, puddling around you with the missed droplets of your earlier outpouring. He cages you under his body like a precious gift to hide from the world and snivels in your ear.

You wrap an arm around him where you can and gently stroke the coarse scruff of his nape. “Ssshhh, I’m right here,” you soothe. You can sense his desperation, the need to maintain the intimacy of the moment. “We’ll stay just like this for a while, okay?”

He sighs and curls you into him, for comfort or safekeeping or maybe both. “Stay together. Mine.”

“Yes. I’m yours.”

He licks mindlessly at your neck to lull himself, and his chest slowly falls into a peaceful rhythm. You drift off long before he fully softens inside you.

This is my first True Monster smut fic imo, and I just have to say I think I get it guys lmao. I get to make him have magical dick juice? I'M IN. ~*~~*~WORLD BUILDING IS SO ENRICHING AND REWARDING FOR THE CREATIVE MIND~*~~*~*.

For other monster fucking fics, please check out @wannab-urs awesome compilation here. I also wanna specifically rec Oh, Honey by @lincolndjarin bc it is delicious.

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I keep thinking about Otto stating that the Ferryman cannot cross over into the real world. Remembering the comic with the Humpback Girl, where it's shown that he clearly can since I am 100% sure she is NOT a child of the Nowhere, I am wondering if Otto's assumptions are just... wrong.

Otto is learning with us. AND he's not a reliable narrator in the slightest.

When Noone says that the Ferryman "does not belong to their world" I don't think she necessarely means that he can't physically cross over; Noone is not from the Nowhere and she still can vanish into it just fine. I think it's moreso an implication that the Ferryman is not a former child turned Resident: he is from the Nowhere. Period. He might be one of the few characters whom we know for a fact are children of the Nowhere.

More information has also been emerging about the Ferryman's modus operandi when he's targeting a victim:

He seems to prefer going after singular children rather than a group, or even a duo. In the fourth episode, where Noone was in the presence of other teens, he did not show up; he only appeared to be watching her without intervening during episode 1 and 2, where she had a companion. In the Humpback Girl's tale, he only goes to her after the rest of the group is gone, and the Refugee Boy is also alone when he takes the place of his sister for the bet he made with North Wind. This might be to deny children any opportunity to even second guess the idea of following him; if they have no one to discuss the idea with during a dire situation, what else can they really do?

^ It also seems that when he chooses a victim, he sticks to them until he gets them. He had the chance to help Jester when he and Noone got separated (as he picks lone victims), but didn't do anything.

On that note: it might be a coincidence but right now it seems that he doesn't feel the need to save children if the threat they are facing is human/has human shape. Again: he only stepped in to help Noone when she was threatened by the Muscle in episode 3, and he made that famous deal with the North Wind in the comics. All the other monsters who tried to kill Noone were human, and the Ferryman did not do anything to stop them. During the Mirror Man incident, he only shows up in the aftermath when he is already defeated.

^ the only exception of this is Six, whom he takes on the Maw forcibly. The crowd she was in was not hostile to her until he pointed her out: even then, they didn't really attack her. They had noticed her prior, but when he pointed at her, they all followed suit.

^^ On this note... I wonder if the Ferryman has been on Six's trail for longer than we think, and only waited for Mono to be gone before stepping in.

He can indeed teleport. And he can indeed talk, if very little since he struggles getting his voice out through the layers of skin. While we were shown the first in the comics, the second was something that we had no confirmation of up until now. We have not seen his shape-shifting abilities make an appearence as of now but I have a suspicion we will very soon.

So now, knowing that Noone has been vanishing consistently ever since she took the Ferryman's hand in the Mall, I wonder if all that she had to do to be permanently connected with the Nowhere was just that: grab his hand. Accept his help. Once you do that, he will take you to the Maw no matter where you're from.

I am rather certain that this is where things will wrap up. With Noone either being brought on the Maw, or whatever it used to be, or dying in the process. I do not trust Otto.

[ghostlythunderbird]

As a Spouse and a Parent~ Task Force 141 

Pairings: Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, John Price X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Prior Abuse, some NSFW is referenced

Word Count: 2,269

Author Notes: Is this feeding into a deep longing of mine? Why yes, yes it is. I'm sorry if this is poorly written I was writing this at 3am

Simon “Ghost” Riley

As a Spouse

Simon actually didn’t want to get married in the beginning, because if you wanted to get married it would only put a potential target on not just you but anyone you're close to. But I can assure you he wanted nothing more than to put a ring on your finger, and as a testament to that you should have heard how picky he was with your ring. Soap was definitely losing his mind while trying to help Simon out

After the initial hesitation in the first year of your marriage not much had changed between you and Simon, but your relationship continued to grow as Simon became more upfront with nothing that seemed to really bother him. Of course keeping everything related to his job confidential.

He became more doting on you, constantly craving for your attention whenever he’s at home. It was honestly comical that this large man seemed to melt into a puddle at the slightest touch from you, practically purring for you when you rake your hands through his hair when you cuddle in those late mornings. Even after this he will ask you not to share how he truly acts at home with any of his teammates, there often was the threat of not getting any more breakfasts in bed from him.

Oh and when I tell you this man can cook, I mean he can COOK. Like this man can cook full course meals but the only time you have to interfere is because he doesn't use seasoning very much. Secretly he enjoys these small moments with you, just spending quality time whenever he can is what helps him realize that getting married was the best decision.

As a Parent

When you told him you were pregnant for the first time he had a whole mental meltdown that ended up with him leaving to take a walk around your neighborhood. Now it wasn’t because he was angry, if anything he was terrified.

This is a man who has faced horrid abuse at the hands of his father, had his Brother, mother, sister in law, and his nephew murdered because of his job, had so many near death experiences, and killed men without a second thought. How could someone like him raise a child properly, much less raise one that wouldn’t hate him for who he was.

After returning and talking his fears out, you both soon started to prepare the arrival of your child. And lets be real he is fascinated with each step of your pregnancy, His favorite part was feeling his child react to his touch each time. Just to add this in because I just have a feeling this might happen, this man would definitely end up having at least 5 kids because he falls in love all over again with each one. Not only that but he wants to prove that he is a better dad than his own could have ever been.

Simon loves all his kids and will spend each moment he can with them, going to dance recitals, practice, helping with homework, putting them all to bed. Does he become a tired dad after 5 kids? Well of course he would but does he regret it, Never.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

As a Spouse

Oh my gosh, now this man right here is one of the Sweetest Hubbies out there. You talk about remodeling the kitchen? Well here is your new kitchen after a month. Craving a certain food, he’s either buying it or attempting to make it.

From the first point when I mean attempting I really mean “Attempting” because this man cannot cook to save his life. And before you try to say he can, he can cook a few things but hardly anything is seasoned because the military has ruined his sense of taste. While he can’t outright cook more than simple meals like grilled cheese sandwiches it doesn't mean he can't help chop up ingredients or be your taste tester. His favorite thing to do is help you bake and you know this man will be licking the spoon and the bowl, he ended up stealing it once and locked himself in the bathroom so you couldn't stop him.

When he's home you can guarantee you're gonna be cuddled to death by him, he hardly ever lets you leave and if you're gone for more than five minutes he's going to look for you and become a human koala. Johnny I feel like is a very affectionate lover and will do anything to find a compromise if you two can't agree on something. He never makes big decisions without you as in his eyes being married means you have to work together not against each other.

As a Parent

Ok let's be real here out over everyone in the task force Johnny has the BIGGEST Breeding kink out there, and like most men he isn't much of a fan of condoms simply because it takes out the intimacy. He has a true addiction to cumming inside you so it's no surprise you end up becoming pregnant.

When you tell him you're pregnant he would let out the biggest yell and then tackle you into a bear hug while crying from pure joy. After finding this out he immediately called and told both of your families. He's very invested with both yours and the baby's development over time. His favorite thing to do is to fall asleep on your lap with his head near your bump no matter how big or small it is while running his hand over it.

While he does get prepared once you start reaching the end of your pregnancy it doesn't stop the military one bit. After hearing he would end up deploying towards the end he was devastated, while he understands you cant stop when you're called back to base he wanted nothing more to stay home and would even risk going AWOL.

He would constantly facetime you everyday when he's gone, and while he wasn't physically there for the birth of your child he did encourage you from the phone while being hundreds of miles from home. And when he was finally able to finally come home? He gathered you both up in his arms and refused to let go.

But as your child grows up I can definitely say Johnny is the most supportive and fun dad out there. He wants nothing more than to see his kid grow up to be a respectful and easy person who still takes time to appreciate the little things and know when to have a little fun.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

As a Spouse

This man I feel like can be often overlooked so here we're gonna give him a whole bunch of lovins here. Gaz is more of a selfless lover by heart, so be prepared to be showered in love and attention 24/7. Trying to read a book? Well now you're both reading a book because he wants to constantly be in your presence.

While Kyle is home he would definitely want to go on walks and hikes with you just so you're both exploring together. That being said he tries to plan yearly vacations for you both wherever you both decide to visit. Like Simon, Kyle wants to spend as much time with you as he can while he's home. The awful part about his job is to think that there might be a last time he would ever see you, so he wants to take advantage of every second.

Kyle loves to talk about your future together, wondering about your lives of what could happen or what could have been. His favorite part though is to talk about settling down somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities in the UK. Having a little house in a village far out into the countryside where the both of you can live in peace.

Maybe there are often times where he thinks that your dreams of living out your lives together may never become a reality when coming back after a rather rough mission. You will have to talk him out of those thoughts just to remind him that even on the roughest days you'll always be by his side even when he can't see you.

As a Parent

This man is NOT prepared to hear that you're pregnant. Wanna know what he does when you wait until he comes home to tell him? This man straight up faints from the overwhelming news. After hearing you freaking out after coming to he just wraps you up as you're both on the floor and just says “This wasn't in our road map, love” as a joke.

It does take him off guard to understand that he's not only fighting the darkness just to protect you but for his child now. And to say that it keeps driving him forward to survive every mission more than ever before is a vast understatement.

Kyle ends up asking you one day after being home for a week on how many you both feel comfortable with having, you both decide on having two. Over time his excitement continued to grow the bigger your child got and when I tell you this man keeps buying toys and baby clothes I'm not joking. He's a hoarder of baby stuff now

When your little one is finally born this man has constant tears that the nurses even joked that your husband cried more than you while in labor. He's mesmerized by this child, that while you fall asleep he begins to pledge his life for the newborn in his arms. Gaz as a dad is one of the sweetest things in the world, always wanting to be involved in his children's lives and to spend every minute with them.

John Price

As a Spouse

This man is by far the biggest romantic out there without a doubt, always wanting to surprise you when you least expect him to be home. His favorite memory was when he came in with you eating ice cream on the couch and he grabbed you from behind, he didn't regret having to clean the couch afterwards.

You better expect he's gonna take you out whenever he gets home too, like this man WANTS to show you off no matter where you go. You both go out to a fancy restaurant you're getting shown off, at a taco truck just down from your shared home. Well guess what you're still getting shown off even if you're dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Don’t blame this man for any of it because he's just so in love with you he can't help himself. But if he had to choose between staying at home or going out without a doubt he would choose to stay in with you and just enjoy the limited time he has. While yes sometimes he has to bring home paperwork he still finds a way such as having you curled up in his lap over his tights and having a blanket draped over the both of you.

That being said there have been times you've both fallen asleep in the chair and you both totally have NEVER tipped the chair back. It definitely became an inside joke between the both of you but it's something you both never mention to anyone else.

As a Parent

You and John have talked about what you might do if you ever decided to have kids, but you've both tried to be as safe during your “Adult” time but it seems that life said otherwise. While you had no reason to be upset or nervous about telling John you couldn't help the nagging feeling of anxiety. You don't tell him right away, but you rather plan it around one of your nightly walks.

At first he thought you were messing with him and doing one of your pranks again, but after seeing your serious face he was speechless. After the initial shock he pulls you in and kisses you, he lets out a laugh after pulling back before resting his hand over your stomach. John tries to be around as much as he can for the majority of your pregnancy, but life as an officer is a very demanding one.

While he's gone on deployments he tries to stay in contact as much as he can, and if he doesn't have service he keeps a picture of you and a sonogram picture of his little one tucked away in his tactical vest. The only person he shows and talks about his new child with is Simon, because this man is dealing with 5 kids even after saying he's too old for this life.

You end up giving birth right before John was getting ready to land, and let's just say this man threatened a lot of people just so he could get to the hospital as soon as possible. John overall as a parent would definitely be doting but he knows when he needs to put his foot down, even if it does end up drawing tears. He’s one of those dads too that definitely lets his kids do whatever to him, especially if he has a daughter.

[silaswritesthings]

‘I am not in love with a criminal.’

Summary: Reader comes across an intriguing individual that captured their attention months prior.

Starring: Multi character x gender unspecified reader (the characters I had in mind as I write this are mainly Scaramouche and Childe from genshin impact, Dazai from bsd and unknown from mystic messenger but you can imagine whoever you wish to imagine)

Genre: romance, sfw, sharing an umbrella (that's not a genre but its valid!)

Warnings: A bit of cursing, implications of stalking, implications of murder, first person pov :)

Author’s note: It took me three days to write this and I hope it matches the effort I put into it. I was listening to goth and alt music as I wrote this so take that however you wish to take it. Likes, comments, reblogs and new followers will always be welcome!

Word count: 914

Part two is here

No. Just no.

He didn’t deserve a single drop of any affection from me, not a sliver of attention. He was not even worthy of the mud beneath my boots, but…

“Is there something on your mind?” His voice was accompanied by a flash of lightning. The dull sky rumbled as if the heavens were sending a warning. Bitterness gathered in my chest.

“I don’t want to talk about anything with you.” My words were almost drowned by the rain hitting the umbrella he held above our heads; we stood in the middle of the pavement, and pedestrians gave us odd and disapproving looks as they walked around us. The rain had just started but it had picked up quite a bit and I would have been drenched if it weren't for him.

His next words sounded almost hesitant. “You were more friendly when we first met.” My gaze remained fixed on my wet boots, his own facing mine, and I didn't miss the way he shifted on his feet, the umbrella shifting along with the action.

People like him, criminals, are well versed in lies and manipulation. Feigning distress wouldn't have been a hard task for him and I was aware of that. Despite knowing that, the bitterness in my chest lifted just a fraction.

“It’s been months, I can hardly remember your name.” My eyes remained lowered, watching water droplets slide down the leather of our boots.

“But you remember my face.”

“What?”

“You haven’t looked at me at all during our entire encounter yet you seem to know exactly who you are talking to you.” It was his observation not mine. Our first meeting, which happened over four months ago (not that I have kept count), remains as a vague memory in my mind. I would have voiced my thoughts but he was right. Why would anyone entertain a conversation with a stranger like this; with their eyes on the ground and heart in their throat as if they knew something that they shouldn’t.

I knew something that I shouldn’t. No- he revealed things to me that I shouldn’t have known. He’s a criminal.

My gaze lifted to his, regrettably, and my argument stopped at the back of my throat along with my breath. This was not the face of a killer but rather the face of someone that many would kill for.

His eyes lit up. “You’re looking at me.”

I narrowed my own. “You’re a criminal.”

“I’ve never been incarcerated for a moment in my life.”

“You killed people.”

“Without context, it sounds worse than it actually is.”

My right eye twitched. “Do you have an answer for everything?”

He leaned forward, his mouth curving into a light pleasant smile. “Why don’t you test that by asking me every question that comes to your mind? I’ll answer anything, everything even.”

I shifted my eyes from his, a simple look was all he needed to convince me to take his offer. “I have-" I cleared my throat, "plans.”

My eyes returned to him when he straightened himself with a sigh and took out his phone. He messed with his screen for a few seconds. When he showed me the screen, it was a copy of my schedule.

Fuck that.

I turned and walked away from him and forgot why I had even left my apartment half an hour ago. The rain was the least of my concerns because there was a lunatic who had a copy of my personal schedule on his phone. The rain was not the problem.

He spoke in a sing-song manner, “you’re in quite a rush for someone without any plans.”

Anger rose from the bottom of my chest and I turned to face him and yelled, “Fuck you!”

His mouth fell open before he burst into a fit of laughter. My blood boiled as I watched him clutch his abdomen as if he had heard the funniest joke in existence.

Now he was gasping for air.

Now more people were giving us more odd looks.

I marched to where he stood and whisper-yelled, "You're embarrassing me, stop it."

He beamed at me. “I’ll text you later since you have ‘plans’ today.” He handed me his umbrella and waved with the hand holding his phone, the screen and my damn schedule flashing at me, before he stepped backwards.

“Criminals have feelings too,” he said before he walked away with an energetic stride.

“Lunatic.” I cursed him. I was annoyed, wet and could feel the start of a headache from my now ruined day.

When I arrived back at my apartment, I paused by my door where there was a vase filled with flowers and herbs; lavenders, roses and rosemary were bunched together in a deliberate manner. I picked up the vase and read the little white card that was sticking out from the flowers. I then remembered why I left my apartment. It was to find flowers to decorate my apartment.

Do you know you smell like lavenders?

My face burned because of anger.

Right.

Anger.

I entered my home and placed the flowers on my kitchen counter with care, only because the vase looked fragile and I didn't want to clean up the mess of a broken vase.

By the time the sun had set that day, I was already facing another problem. Should I answer the text from the unknown number on my phone or call the police to spare my time and sanity?

[vulture-writes-stuff]

Hello, Can I request Shane, Harvey and Elliott (separately) with a Cocky M! Reader who likes to tease them.

Shane Harvey and Elliott my beloveds!!! Good taste anon

I was literally just replying the game again recently and I married Elliott, he's so fkin sweet it kills me. Maybe I'm just a big sap tbh

Various X Cocky Male Reader Headcanons

Partner who likes to tease them

Shane

➵ He hates it. Okay, no he doesn't, but he does at first.

➵ Shane is the only person in Pelican town who doesn't care about the new farmer, and of course he's the only one the new farmer wants to talk to.

➵ "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?" You'd say without fail every time you were in the saloon together, before you bought him a drink.

➵ Shane tells you to stop, and eventually you do. And then he realizes that he didn't want you to stop, so he tries to figure out how to say that he didn't mind your teasing.

➵ You give him a basket of hot peppers as a gift. He drops one of them. You say "This is why we can't have nice things, Shane!" with that grin on your face. He can't help but grin back.

➵ Then he notices the bouquet stashed inside. Your teasing is even more endearing when you're in an actual relationship, even if it is still slightly annoying. It's one of your charms.

➵ You drink together one night, new years eve. It doesn't hurt to treat yourself every once in a while, though you've clearly never handled alcohol well. Shane has to carry you home, and the whole time you're babbling about where you two should go for your honeymoon.

➵ You're not even engaged, but he's too drunk to argue. Shane stays the night in your place, and your cat sleeps on top of him. He wakes up first with a throbbing headache, and decides that laying on the cold floor is better than on a bed or sofa.

➵ He's amazed that you get up to do farm work, and even stop to make him a coffee. You may be hungover as hell, but you're dedicated.

➵ "You look like hell," He quips, and you laugh. "Thanks, it's natural." Shane kind of regrets being so cold to you... At least you're patient, even if you are a bit of a bastard.

Elliott

➵ An artist with no muse is hardly an artist. That's what he thinks, anyways, as he goes over his writing notes a thousand times. He meets you on the bridge to the beach.

➵ He mispronounces his own name. He'd been reading a few seconds prior, so he repeats the last words on his mind, while trying to say his name. He calls himself Ellie. You laugh. "Nice to meet you, Ellie. That's my new permanent nickname for you."

➵ Elliott is only monetarily annoyed. Then he realizes he's completely enamored by your little mischievous smile, staring at where you were a few seconds ago even after you leave.

➵ "You're cute when you're focused." You say one day, when he'd invited you into his cabin to wait out the rain. "You crinkle your nose when you're thinking hard."

➵ He hadn't even realized. Wait, had you called him cute? He can hardly focus on his work now, damn you!

➵ He's in Pierre's shop buying a bouquet the same day you are, and you tease him for not making plans with you so you could've coordinated better. Your first date was properly coordinated.

➵ Elliott takes you out on his newly repaired boat, and drops one of the oars into the water by the dock. It's fairly easy to fish out, but of course he's never going to hear the end of it.

➵ "Butterfingers," You click your tongue in mock disapproval.

➵ He rolls his eyes back at you.

➵ Elliott has never been so inspired before - he finishes his book within the year, and of course one of the main characters has your cockiness. You're his new muse. A muse covered in dirt that brings him fresh pomegranates and the occasional feather.

Harvey

➵ You call him "Doc" even after he introduces himself to you. He doesn't really mind, a lot of people do. Being a farmer, you're one of his more frequent patients.

➵ "Give it to me straight, doc, am I gonna live?" You ask one time as he bandages your arm. You'd been attacked by one of your chickens. Harvey only snorts.

➵ Harvey is just happy to see you unhurt, not only because you stop by every so often to bring him a coffee. He likes coffee.

➵ "You're such a nerd," You tease at one point, but he's not bothered. Somehow, you've wormed your way into his heart with your... Natural charm.

➵ Harvey comes downstairs one evening to a bouquet of flowers on the front counter, along with a jar of pickled vegetables and a card. He knows who it's from, he knows your handwriting. He sends you a thank you letter, one that details all his feelings for you.

➵ You tell him the very next day it's currently pinned to your fridge. He's embarrassed. You can tell.

➵ Despite your habit of teasing him, you never pick on his failed pilot dreams. He appreciates it.

➵ You ask him to talk about things he likes. He rambles on for a very long time, and you're clearly happy to listen even if you don't understand. You call him an adorable dork with nothing but affection in your voice.

➵ Harvey briefly worries that he might faint.

➵ At least you're strong enough to catch him.

I always choose the orange cat in Stardew sorry dog lovers

Elliott calling me his wonderful man really transes my gender. Also Harvey telling me I look handsome

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Another one? Yes, another one!!!!

I wish that we could save today, but I know we can’t stay the same. And I keep pushing you away, don’t wait for me - Home is Such a Lonely Place by Blink 182

With Spencer! Thanks and congrats again!!!!

Hello again! This one was cute, set post s15.

Home is Such a Lonely Place

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary - you and Spencer’s whirlwind romance comes to an abrupt end when you both get job offers in different countries. But home is just too lonely for him to bear without you.

CW - angst, break ups, tears, sad goodbyes, meet cutes.

WC - 2.2k

As far as days went, today was just about perfect in Spencer Reid’s world. Before long it would become some distant memory, forgotten seconds by your side. 

It would become just another day in the story book of his life but he tried to catalogue every single inconsequential touch, every sidelong glance. He had to preserve these moments because after tomorrow there would be no more moments to have. 

Spencer had loved you since the moment he laid eyes on you eight months ago in line for coffee at his favourite cafe. You’d both reached for the same sugar packet but when you’d smiled at him, the simple gesture was sweet enough and he’d allowed you to take it. 

What had followed had been a whirlwind romance. 

Spencer had left the BAU a few months prior to meeting you to teach full time, which gave him evenings and weekends free to spend with you. And the two of you did spend every possible second together. More seconds he hoped wouldn’t become forgotten. 

You’d fallen head over heels for each other. You never officially moved in with him, you still had your own apartment, but you honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d been back there. 

It had been the most incredible tornado of emotions, the likes of which neither of you had ever experienced before. He’d told you early on he had every intention of marrying you one day, and you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to do more in the world. 

But fate had other ideas. 

In the space of just one week, two things happened that altered the trajectory of your relationship. Firstly you got offered a job of a lifetime, one in which you’d worked your whole life towards. 

You’d screamed and jumped up and down, throwing yourself giddily into Spencer’s arms the second you hung up the phone but the euphoria was tragically short lived. 

Your dream job, the one you’d worked so hard for, was in London. 

Spencer hadn’t skipped a beat before telling you he’d come with you. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he wasn’t letting you go. 

You’d started to cry when he cupped your face and smiled at you as he whispered, “let’s move to London, my love.” 

For three days the two of you had excitedly started to plan your future across the pond, where you’d live, where Spencer would work. Where your future hypothetical children could go to school.

But then on the third day, Spencer received a call. 

He’d been tapped by the bureau for a special assignment, for which he wasn’t at liberty to tell you much about. His initial reaction had been to decline, nothing was more important to him than your life in London. 

But you’d seen the way he winced ever so slightly every time he talked about turning it down. You saw the way his previous elation over your move dampened day by day. 

You realised for the first time just how much Spencer missed the FBI. So as much as it killed you to think of your life without him in it, you convinced him to stay. 

You both had your own dreams and sadly, they didn’t overlap. 

You had a few months until your move and so even if it hurt more in the long run, you and Spencer spent every moment together you could, creating the last few memories you’d ever have together. 

He held you tighter in that time, but never enough to hold you back. 

Today was your last day together. Tomorrow you would board a flight to London and who knows when you’d be back, if you ever were. 

Spencer created the perfect last day, spent hours planning all the places he wanted to take you but you never ended up even leaving his apartment. 

You spent the majority of the day in each other's arms, commiting to your minds exactly how the other felt, how they smelt. It was all so bittersweet but you wouldn’t change a second of it. 

He loved the lightning, the crashes of electricity he felt when you were close by. But the rain that was rolling in, the rain that followed when you left; he hated that. 

Tomorrow was frightening. But not today. 

He wanted to slow down time, enjoy every minute of this. But never enough that it would slow you down. 

When he suddenly got up, letting go of his grip on you and pacing his living room, you watched him curiously. You took in his frame, every dip and curve of him even though it was shielded by his wrinkled shirt and slacks. 

You etched in your heart the way his curls fell down his neck, around his face. You captured his slightly furrowed brow, sharp jawline and cracked lips, filed it all away in the Spencer Reid photo album that lived deep in your soul. 

He stopped pacing and looked at you, the weight of it all clear on his features. 

“I think that…” he trailed off with a shaky sigh. “I think that maybe you should go.” 

You frowned at him, pushing yourself up to your feet. 

“I thought the plan was for me to stay and you were going to take me to the airport in the morning?” 

“Yeah well, plans change, don’t they?” He snapped much harsher than he’d meant to. 

You pouted at his tone, wrapping your arms around your waist and shying away from him. 

“Wow,” you choked. “Ok then.” 

You turned your back on him towards the bedroom where your bags were and started towards it. 

Spencer shook his head at his own stupidity and quickly hurried after you. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” His long, nimble fingers encased your wrist and he gently tugged you back to him. “I just…I wish that we could save today. But I know we can’t stay the same. And pushing you away…it seemed like it would hurt less.” 

His eyes were misted over with tears and he kept his hold on you, terrified to let you go. 

“Maybe I should go.” You shrugged. 

“No, please don’t.” He shook his head frantically. 

“I think it’s best. It’s never going to hurt any less Spencer but prolonging the pain is making it worse.” A tear escaped your eye as you saw the understanding wash over him. 

He wanted to fight it. He wanted to spend every single second you had left together but he knew you were right. He let go of you and raised his arms up to aggressively rub his eyes. 

“I knew this would be hard but I didn’t realise just how much it would hurt.” He swallowed. “I feel like someone’s carved out my heart.”

You whimpered a little at his words, taking a step closer to him and cupping his cheeks in your hands. You brushed your fingers over the contours of his face, hoping the feeling of him would help you remember. 

“Me too, Spence.” You agreed. “I need you to promise me something.” 

“Anything.” He nodded. 

“Promise me you won’t wait for me.” 

His own tears broke free and suddenly started cascading from his eyes and you wiped them away with your thumbs. 

“I don’t know if I can promise you that.” He whined. 

“You have to.” You sniffed. “Don’t wait for me, Spence.” 

Before he could argue with you, you pressed your lips gently against his, tasting his tears as you kissed him. It was fleeting, it had to be. You’d come to learn all the best things were. 

You let go of his face and stepped backwards and he didn’t try to stop you when you went to walk to the bedroom. 

He also didn’t try to stop you when you headed back out with your bags. As you passed him, you placed a lingering kiss on his cheek before continuing to the front door. 

And again he didn’t stop you when you opened it. 

As you stepped into the corridor you turned back to him and smiled at him through your tears. 

“I’ll always love you, Spencer Reid.” 

“I’ll always love you too.” He replied, his voice cracking with each word. 

He watched you leave, his heart feeling as though it was physically shattering inside his chest even though he knew that wasn’t possible. 

Looking around his apartment he suddenly hated this place. The place he’d called home for so many years no longer felt like his safe haven. 

It felt like the moon was spinning off into outer space without you. The universe an empty place without you. This room was such a lonely place now you’d gone. 

And he wasn’t sure he’d ever bounce back from a loss so great. 

***

If you didn’t take into account your broken heart, London was everything you’d dreamed of and more. 

Work kept you busy enough that during the days you were able to cast all thoughts of your lost love from your mind. But it was at night that all of those memories came flooding back to the surface. 

You tried to keep focused on your job, on figuring out a new routine and creating a new normal for yourself; one that didn’t include Spencer Reid. 

You engrossed yourself in the little, trivial things. The fastest route to your office, the nicest parks to read in on the weekend and most importantly, where you could find the best coffee on your morning commute. 

You explored a new coffee shop every single day but so far nothing compared to that little cafe in DC where you’d reached for a sugar packet one morning and your whole world had changed. Perhaps you never would find one that lived up to those expectations. 

Nearly three weeks after your relocation you left early one morning to check out a cafe a little out of your normal route. According to Google it was one of the most highly rated coffee shops in the area. 

You allowed yourself to feel something akin to excitement as you pushed open the door of the bustling little artisan shop. If you could find the perfect cafe for your morning pick me up, maybe it would go some way to help repair your broken heart. 

You ordered your usual vanilla latte and as soon it was handed to you made your way over to the stand in the corner for some sugar. 

And as you reached for the little packet you were awash with deja vu as your fingers brushed against those of another. 

When you looked up and your eyes met his deep hazel orbs, your whole world stopped turning on its axis. 

He was offering you the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen, and in that moment you felt your heart start to piece itself back together. 

“I read online that this was one of the best coffee shops in all of London.” He spoke, a hint of whimsy in his tone. “But, uh, I have also tried another five highly rated coffee places in as many days and they didn’t stack up. This one though…this one has potential.” 

You exhaled a shaky breath, eyes clouding over with tears, feeling as though you must be hallucinating because surely this wasn’t real. 

“You’ve been here for five days?” Your voice trembled. 

“A week actually.” Spencer grinned at you, fingers still brushing against your own. 

“Why didn’t you just call?” 

“This is far more romantic, don’t you think?” His eyes danced playfully and he dared to slip his hand in yours. 

“I…I don’t understand what’s happening.” You felt like all the air had left your lungs. Everything else going on around you faded away. 

“I called the bureau, the day you left actually. I turned down the special assignment, told them I left the FBI for a reason and I wasn’t prepared to come back. Then I spoke to the university and some strings were pulled but they managed to secure me a job. In London. I would have been here sooner but between zoom interviews and selling my apartment…but I’m here now.” He squeezed your hand, trying to prove to you he was actually here. 

“You… you’re here? For real?” A tear rolled from your eye and Spencer was quick to cup your face and wipe it away. 

“I’m here for real. And for good. Or at least as long as you're here.” 

“I…I don’t even know what to say.” A few more tears fell but Spencer brushed away every one. 

“Say you’ve got room in your apartment for a guy who gave up everything to be with you? And his books, the books need a home too.” 

“You’re insane.” You chuckled through your tears and Spencer laughed too.

“Maybe so,” he edged closer to you until you could feel his breath fan across your face. “But I couldn’t make it a few hours in my apartment with you gone. Home is such a lonely place without you, so let’s make a new one here?” 

You didn’t have the words to express quite what all of this meant to you and you knew you didn’t need them. Instead of speaking, you closed the gap between you and pressed your lips to his. 

Spencer immediately held you tightly, kissing you back with yearning and knowing for a fact that he would never spend another day away from you as long he lived. 

Home was such a lonely place without you, but he didn’t plan on finding that out again. 

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Ultracrepidarian [Spencer x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@virginmary2008) Center (@reidobsessed) Right (@quillnote)

Prompt: When the BAU-reader nearly faints while giving a lecture to the NAT trainees, Spencer finally can’t hold back how he really feels about her as he drives her home. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: hurt/angst/comfort

Word Count: 15K

Content Warnings: Light drinking, canon typical violence (unsub kills via acid [description of bodies after death] mention of bodies being cut into), the threat of violence [reader and Spencer]  and physical assault [reader and a random woman], drugging [reader], ERs, broken bones, language, and prolonged pain. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Good evening, loves! It’s the first fic of January and it’s with the cutest, Spencer! I’ve had this idea since I learned the word ultracrepidarian, and I could totally see him saying it to someone. This is a slow burn until the very end. I tried my best to build up the suspense and tension between the reader and Reid, and I hope you enjoy the payout at the end. As always, thank you to my lovely readers who interact with my work. I hope the new year is treating you well. If you do enjoy this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Have a great rest of your week! Love Levi - ❤️

List wil all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_c/t_ = coffee or tea 

_y/l/n_ = your last name 

_y/c/y_’s = your color eyes 

__y/f/f/f_ = your favorite fast food 

_y/f/f/g/m_ = your favorite feel good movie 

_y/l/p_ = your local pharmacy 

“Ultracrepidarian,” Spencer said aloud while looking over the draft of the lecture _y/n_ was due to give tomorrow to the fresh batch of N.A.T. trainees. Agent _y/l/n_ looked up and said, “My lecture is what now?” _y/n_ had never heard the word before in her life. She wasn’t sure she could even say it right if it was written on paper. Spencer looked up from his notes and repeated, “Ultracrepidarian. What I’m trying to say is that you’re trying to sound smart, but I don’t think it’s helping your point.” _y/n_ sighed and said, “I am trying to sound smart. That’s the point. Why would two hundred new agents just coming back from their holiday break want to listen to me talk about how to do their case exercises? Derek was supposed to be the one giving this lecture anyway. Why’d he ask me and not Hotch or you? I’m so new to this I feel like I was just in those trainings myself.” Hotch, who had overheard the conversation as he was passing up to his office offered, “Morgan asked you because he saw you as the best fit for the job. If he’d wanted me or Spencer, he would have asked, but he asked you for a reason, _y/n_. You’ll do a fine job.” Aaron’s words of affirmation sent a moment of comfort _y/n_’s way, but the copious annotations Reid was making on her draft had her stomach tighten again. Three days prior, during one of the long, boring paperwork-filled days in the office, Morgan had gotten a call at his desk. He’d looked at the phone with a serious expression before picking up and walking outside of the bullpen just as he left, _y/n_ had heard him say, “What is it, Sarah?” A half-hour later, he’d come back in the room looking even more serious than before. The strong agent moved to the stairs and took them three at a time before stopping at Hotch’s door. The man knocked once and then entered the glowing office. There had been another half-hour conversation before Morgan appeared again. This time he moved and found Spencer and Emily. They chatted in hushed whispers for a few seconds before getting the important stuff on his desk and then heading out the door and toward the elevator. _y/n_ watched all of this with veiled interest. She knew that there was an unstated rule about profiling each other, and she was so new to the team that she didn’t want to make assumptions about what was going on. 

_y/n_ didn’t have to wait long as she caught Emily speaking with Penelope in the breakroom as they were grabbing their lunches from the fridge. _y/n_ overheard a snippet of the conversation, “Yeah, it sounded serious this time. Especially if he has to fly up there. I hope it turns out okay.” _y/n_, who was preparing some _c/t_ was about to ask if she could join the conversation, but was cut off by JJ, who popped her head in the room, and said, “Hotch just called us to the conference room. New case.” Just after JJ finished speaking, the timer on the microwave dinged. Emily let out an exasperated sigh and said, “Why is there always a new case when my food is finished? Can’t these unsubs wait a half hour?” That had everyone in the room chuckle, and as Garcia and Prentiss moved their food back into the fridge, the trio of agents moved up the stairs, the liaison stated, “Given how gross this case is, Emily, I think you’ll thank Aaron for not giving you the time to eat before you see the photos.” That had everyone sober as they moved into the conference room. The team sat while Aaron and JJ set up. Hotch spoke first, and he addressed that someone important was missing. The leader of the BAU cleared his throat and said, “As most of you know, Derek won’t be joining us for this case. He had something personal come up in Chicago, and I’m not sure when he’ll be coming back. However, I have confidence that we can work as efficiently as we always do, even if a member isn’t here.” Everyone nodded. Each of them knew that things happened. They had with Gideon at the end of last year. That had been a difficult transition for all of them. But with Rossi returning to the BAU, things had settled. There was more of a reassurance with Morgan. He was coming back. With Gideon, it had been like waiting for the other show to drop. And when it had, it wasn’t pretty. Aaron began jumping into the specifics of the case, with JJ adding details about the four victims so far. The college-age men and women who had been killed were unrecognizable. The use of hydrochloric acid via syringe into the carotid artery was a terrible, terrible way to die. The tissue and skin had been eaten away by the acid, exposing gaping holes in the bodies of the deceased. There also seemed to be signs of assault on the bodies that proceeded the killings. Lastly, The slogan for Yale, which all of the victims attended, was carved into their backs and read “Lux et Veritas.” If one thing was for sure, this was a crime of passion, and whoever or whatever was getting in the way of the killer ended up looking less human and more like an over-the-top dummy from a James Wan horror film. Unsettled, JJ gave the rest of the brief and told them they could find more in their files. After a few minutes of silent reading, Hotch said, as he always did, “Wheels up in thirty. We don’t know what’s causing the unsub to strike, but they’re organized, so the quicker we get to Connecticut, the sooner we can ensure it doesn’t happen again. 

On the plane, Spencer drank his supersaturated sugar-filled coffee next to _y/n_. He kept bouncing his knee up and down in a way that _y/n_ understood to be excitement. Of course, no one on the team would voice that thought, but bizarre cases brought a set of challenges that others didn’t. They forced the team to think on their feet and move on instinct. _y/n_ looked over the Spence, realizing he was bottling up energy that he usually didn't at the start of cases. _y/n_ then understood that it was the absence of Derek that had caused the change. Normally Spence and his best friend would be bantering and tossing ideas between them. Morgan would tease Reid for the size and scope of this knowledge. _y/n_ missed the animated talking, so she initiated it herself, asking, “So, why hydrochloric acid? Is that stuff easy to get your hands on? And why all Yale students? There has got to be a connection between them, right?” This offering had Spencer off to the races, with his first comment being, “Buying that kind of acid isn’t as hard as you think. And, if you're a chemistry student or in the hard sciences, you might work with it weekly. As for the student connection, it’s possible, but there might be lots of other factors that we don’t know yet. Maybe they were in the same cohort during orientation, or maybe the unsub picked them at random. The threads tying this all together seem disparate. I hope once we’re on campus and I’ve seen a crime scene, I’ll have a better idea.” _y/n_ nodded along. Just hearing Spencer hypothesize felt special. Spencer was the closest to _y/n_ in age, and they’d bonded over that early on. _y/n_ respected everyone else on the team a great deal, but with Reid, she felt like she could relax. She wouldn’t be judged for being young or relatively naivete in this job. She always looked to him for advice. They’d slowly gotten to know each other because they spent the most time together on cases and in the bullpen. Derek had even started teasing Reid about when he was going to ask _y/n_ out. Overhearing that conversation had _y/n_ turn back the way she came in an instant. That didn’t stop Morgan from seeing how flustered _y/n_ was or how flushed Spencer's face had become. As _y/n_ reflected on that moment, she noticed with a small smile, that Reid’s leg had stopped moving. Now that he was in the thick of conversation, with his mouth struggling to keep up with his train of thought, he didn’t need to let out his anxious energy in such a physical way. _y/n_ smiled at the fact, and she leaned in a little closer to try and catch all that her teammate was saying. 

When the jet landed, Hotch made quick introductions to the campus police and then split the BAU into separate groups. Aaron wanted Reid with him as he was the most familiar with the Ivy League system, and he thought it might be helpful while speaking to the President of the university. Meanwhile, _y/n_ and Rossi would check out the first two dorms where the bodies of Charles Talbot and Shauna Mann had been found by roommates who were now in shock. JJ and Emily were going to speak with the UPD for a while longer to see if they could get some useful information out of them before JJ would work on a response for the students, faculty, and staff, and Prentiss went and surveyed the campus. It was near midterms, and although four students were dead and memorials were being held, most of the students didn’t seem to care. They were so absorbed in their studies and tests that the murders seemed to flow off their backs like water on a duck. 

That evening, after an unproductive day, in Spencer’s room, he and _y/n_ looked over the new evidence. _y/n asked him, “Hey, is it that cutthroat in a school like this that the students aren’t worried about what’s happened? Certainly, they must value their lives more than some test?” Reid looked up from his notepad and sighed. He didn’t want to sound annoying, but he knew that _y/n_ listened to him with an understanding that he didn’t get from everyone. His brain and inability to seem to form strong connections often had him feeling left out. Not on the team, or even in his daily life, but he remembered how it had felt to be so isolated and different. In his high school years, he’d cured his brain for its ability, but he also knew it was the only way out of his life. It was half-blessing, half-curse. _y/n_ tipped her head slightly. She could sense him thinking, and it was rare for Spencer to not voice his thoughts. It was so natural for him. However, there was a pause, before Reid said, “I couldn’t tell you _y/n_. College was so easy for me that it just felt like a breeze. But for normal people? I don’t. I don’t know.” _y/n_ felt a tug at this choice of words. “Normal people.” Not that it was condemning them. It was condemning himself as an unnatural person. Agent _y/l/n_ had heard Spencer do this a few times when he was stressed or out of his comfort zone. He’d ostracize himself. Sometimes it took the form of a joke, and other times, it was self-deprecating humor, like when he’d said, “Well, I can recite The Decameron in the original Latin, but I haven’t been on a date in a year, so I guess I’m the lucky one in this situation.” _y/n_ knew that Reid did it to himself as a self-comforting gesture, but some people, even in the office, had almost openly ridiculed his intelligence. It made _y/n_ so angry. Bullying was for high schoolers, not adults. And if the people who had made Reid feel othered only understood what a help he was on cases and to her as a friend, she knew they’d shut the fuck up real quick. _y/n_ looked down at the gory picture in her hand. Softly she said, “We’re all human, Spencer. Even this unsub is human. We just have different abilities, different things we’ve been through.” _y/n_ didn’t want to look up at him. She wasn’t sure it was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t what Reid had expected, and without even thinking about it, he replied, “At least you’re a human with friends.” 

This had _y/n_ look up with surprise. She hadn’t expected what she thought to be words of comfort to end his him saying something like that. _y/n_ took in Spencer’s expression. Even he seemed shocked or ashamed at letting that inside thought out. Gently, _y/n_ placed a hand on his crossed knee and said, with as much sincerity as she could muster, “You have friends, Spencer. You have me, Derek, and Garcia. You have the whole team. And what about your chess club? You don’t have to be adrift out there if you don’t want to be.” It was the best she could think of on the spot. As she said it, Spencer seemed to relax. He knew he got in his head. That he kept things in that he shouldn’t, but hearing _y/n_ validate him had him give her a small smile. She was so reassuring to him. Often, he wasn’t sure why. People didn’t generally choose to be in his life, but _y/n_ had gone beyond being just a colleague, and now and then, he felt the tug of what was adjacent to affection and love when he was around her. Spencer hadn’t felt that in a long time, and he shied away from it whenever it bubbled uncomfortably close to the surface. Spencer felt it now in his chest and stomach. He kept it inside like so much else in his life. Instead of addressing his feelings, he said, “I appreciate you reminding me of that _y/n_. You’re a good friend to me.” _y/n_ beamed at him and said, “You got it, Spence. I’ll remind you anytime you need.” Seeing _y/n_’s smile had Reid flushed, and he pulled a victim’s picture in front of him to distract himself. He couldn’t let his feelings get the best of him. Especially not on a case. Thankfully, his strategy worked, and he regained his composure. _y/n_ and he spent most of the night trying and testing theories and possibilities on the other. Even though nothing massive had happened, there seemed to be a shift in the air, pulling them closer together, in unknowable ways. When _y/n_ got back to her motel room, she got a call from Derek. The one where he asked her to speak from him, and _y/n_ said yes because it was a privilege that she didn’t fully understand. Morgan encouraged her and said that she could call him if she needed help. With that, Morgan hung up the phone, leaving _y/n_ excited about the possibility yet nervous at the prospect of speaking to so many people. 

The next day, a new body was found in Harkness Hall. The building was cleared of students, and the team spent the morning looking over the place from top to bottom. None of the students seemed to see anything odd, which could mean that the unsub had to live in the building and come in so late that everyone was asleep on that floor. This time, however, the killer had made an error. They had left traces behind, like hair and some dark flecks of navy paint that looked pretty distinct. It became clear to the team that the unsub was losing control of their anger as this victim, Bobby Ashten, hadn’t been injected with the acid but doused in it instead. There were also traces of formaldehyde in the mix. Why the added substance, no one could say yet. The sight and smell were so bad that the coroner and the police had to step out a few times to stop themselves from vomiting and contaminating the crime scene. It took a long time for the evidence to be bagged and tagged. Halfway through the process, a member of the UPD informed Aaron that the victim’s girlfriend, who was in hysterics, was outside demanding to come in. Hotch sent _y/n_ and JJ to try and calm the girl down and get a statement if it felt appropriate. If not, then get her to a counselor and get her contact information for later. JJ and _y/n_ took a deep breath once they were outside. They stripped their faces of the N-95 masks and latex gloves. They both felt relief from being outside of that room and building. The sun swept over the two agents, as they walked toward the young woman who was still crying. Kitty looked up at the approaching agents. Kitty’s face was streaked with tears. JJ moved forward first and said, “Hey, Ms. Kincade. My name’s Jennifer Jareau. I’m with the FBI. Agent _y/n_ and I are here to see how you’re doing. I’m afraid we can’t let you in to see your boyfriend, but we want to let you know that we’re here for you and that we’re doing everything we can to catch the guy who did this to Bobby.” Kitty sniffled, and her sadness seemed to turn to rage as she said, “It’s not a guy. It’s that crazy ex-girlfriend of Bob’s - Jenni. I told him to stop hanging out with her. She was like five years older than him, and it was gross. I fucking told him, but did he listen to me? No. He never listens to me. I kept inviting her to hangouts and parties and everything, and then, Jen ingratiated herself into his life so much that I couldn’t get her out. I know I shouldn’t have slept with Bobby when he was still dating her, but he was miserable. I thought I was doing him a favor. Look what good it did me. He’s fucking dead now.” Kitty burst into tears again, and JJ moved forward to embrace her. 

As the media liaison hugged the grieving girl, JJ could feel _y/n_ thinking a  mile a minute behind her. J knew that _y/n_ was as quick-witted as Spencer, just not as talkative. After a moment, _y/n_ asked gently, “Did you talk to Bobby every day? Did Jenni talk or text to him?” Kincade nodded and said, “I was always texting him. He never left me unread. That’s why I knew something was wrong last night. He didn’t text back for two hours, and he knows I hated that.” _y/n_ nodded. As cruel as it sounded in a moment like this, Kitty came across as insecure. Her clothing, demeanor, and intonation told _y/n_ that Kitty needed Mr. Drew for support and validation. _y/n_ got it. She’d felt the same way before herself when she was younger. However, the teary-eyed student hadn’t answered her second question, and _y/n_ gently prodded, “And did Jenni talk to Bob a lot? Did you ever feel like she was trying to get back together with him?” The anger was back in _y/n_’s face as she straightened up and out of JJ’s embrace. Kitty clenched her jaw before saying, “Hell yes she did. She texted him almost as much as I did. She acted like she was still his fucking girlfriend and not me. And they saw each other consistently too. They’re both in the nursing program and it’s brutal work. He relied on her to study with. She’s a TA and all so she could help him out. I know I’m not one to judge, I’m just a journalism major, but Bob procrastinated everything and I think he thought he could go to her and get all the answers. I told him not to, but like I said, he never listened to me.” _y/n_ nodded and said, “I’m sorry to hear that he put you through that, and I’m sorry for your loss.” Kitty nodded, seeming to have calmed down from her hyper-emotional state. _y/n_ just needed to ask two more questions before she could let JJ continue her comfort and tell Kitty everything she needed to know. _y/n_ cleared her throat and said, “Kitty, just a few more things and I’ll let you talk to Ms. Jareau., “First, what’s Jenni’s last name, and do you know where Bobby was before he stopped texting you?” The student seemed to swallow back bile as she said, “Jenni, Jenni Foster. And Bobby was with her. He was supposed to have a big anatomy test today and they both went to the cadaver lab together. I wasn’t cool with it, but Bob promised me he’d be back by midnight.” _y/n_ nodded empathetically and said, “I’m sure he wanted to get back to you, Kitty. I know he would have if he could.” _y/n_ looked over to JJ and the media liaison nodded, knowing that _y/n_ had a lot to relay to the team. With JJ’s gentle nod, _y/n_ walked out past Kitty’s eyesight. Once this was the case, she sprinted back into the building. _y/n_ beeped into the dorm with her temporary ID and rushed to the elevator. As the metal box opened with a ding, _y/n_ pressed for floor fifteen. _y/n_ couldn’t be sure that Jenni Foster was the unsub, but something inside _y/n_ shot a pang of dread through her At least this was another lead if nothing else. Just outside the elevator to the floor of the crime scene. _y/n_ slipped on some latex gloves and a new mask. 

As soon as _y/n_ entered the room Aaron’s eyes turned to her. Through his mask, Hotch asked, “Any leads?” Hotch sounded as desperate as she had felt for an excuse to get out of the newest crime scene. _y/n_ nodded, catching his drift. She replied, “I’ve got a possible unsub, Jenni Foster, and a possible location for the last death.” Hearing this, everyone seemed to relax. It meant a chance to get out of the dorm. Hotch thought for a second and said, “Alright, Emily and I will try and find Ms. Foster, _y/n_ and Spencer, go to the last known location of the victim.” Aaron turned to look at Rossi, trying to give him an option for escape. David had already thought of what he could do and replied, “I can go and inform the president and the chief of the UPD, and I’ll call Garcia to see what she can dig up on Foster.” Hotch nodded and said, “Alright. Hopefully, this will give us some much-needed answers.” The team rode the elevator down to the ground floor. Aaron and Em moved toward the parked SUV in one of the reserved faculty spots, and Spencer asked, “Fill me in on what Kitty said.” _y/n_ took his elbow, as Reid tried to move up campus and not toward the School of Medicine. Spencer followed her lead, realizing he had no idea where they were headed. As the duo descended the stairs, _y/n_ replied, “Kitty said that Bobby had an ex-girlfriend who might have taken things to a bit of an extreme. Apparently, they were both in the nursing program and Bobby relied a lot on her for help even after she’d broken up with him.” Hearing this, Spencer cringed. He might not be the best at reading emotions, but he knew that was a no-go. Reid looked over at _y/n_, as they moved toward the south side of campus. He asked, “Are we sure, Kitty’s not the person we’re looking for?” _y/n_ shook her head and said, “It’s always a possibility, but she seemed pretty dependent on Bobby. I don’t know why she’d want to kill him. He cheated on Jenni with her and then left Jenni for Kitty. That’s why I think it’s Ms. Foster. We were saying that this was a crime of passion. What’s more passionate than a cheating boyfriend? Plus, Jenni and Bobby were in the cadaver lab last night, allegedly studying for a test. It feels like a little too much of a coincidence for it to just be nothing.” Spence nodded in agreement. Now that he knew where they were headed, he said, “You know we’re all susceptible to crimes of passion. Fifteen percent more than other crimes. Factor in the young age of college students brains not being fully developed, I’m surprised that we don’t see more issues on college campuses.” _y/n_ stopped Reid as he reached for the door and said, “Should we get UPD to come with us? What if Jenni’s here and does something drastic?” Reid pondered the question and said, “I doubt she’d go back to the scene so soon. We don’t even know if this is the scene. It’s a big plot point in mystery novels that killers go back to the site because no one would expect that, but it rarely happens. Generally, criminals are too concerned that they’ll be found or act strangely and then be suspected. Let’s just be on the lookout.” _y/n_ nodded and they moved into the building that held the cadavers of the Yale School of Medicine. 

Inside the cool, sleek building, _y/n_ and Spencer went up to the department office and flashed their badges. The student worker grabbed the head of the department. After a minute of waiting in the office, a sharply dressed woman came out, shook both of their hands and said, “Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Peters, Dean of Yale Medical School.” The woman extended a hand to both agents and ushered them into her office. Nobody sat and there was an air of tension in the room. Spencer took the lead on the conversation as the agent with the most experience. Reid stated, “If we can, Agent _y//l/n_ and I would like to see the cadaver lab. We have reason to believe that it might have been the last known location of Bobby Ashten. We understand that he was a student of the program.” When the words registered, Dr. Peter’s face shifted from one of discomfort to anger. She stated, “Well I’m sure that’s not possible. All of our students are highly vetted before entry into the program.” Reid and _y/n_ noticed the shift in tone and Spencer said, “It’s possible that it’s not a student on the school that ended up attacking Mr. Ashten, we just got a tip that his last known location was the cadaver lab last night. Could you tell us who has access to that space?” Peters seemed to calm slightly as Spencer noted that the unsub might not be a part of the department. _y/n_ gave him a little nod at de-escalating the situation. After a brief silence, the dean replied, “Access to that lab is granted to instructors and TAs only. The bodies are taken out for class demonstrations. There’s a sign-in sheet at the door on the third floor. Those who deal with the bodies have special qualifications. If someone did allow a student in there it would be highly unethical.” Now _y/n_ jumped in and said, “Yes, it would be. Dr. Reid and I are just trying to be thorough and precise like the department has to be with its students and protocols. I know you’d rather have this looked at and cleared up now instead of waiting till later in the year.” Peters nodded with some hesitation and said, “Fine, take a look at the lab. I’ll send a TA down to let you in, just follow their instructions to a tee.” Both Spencer and _y/n_ nodded in agreement. Dr. Peters called for a TA to wait by the cadaver lab. After this, she ushered them back into the main office and told the student worker behind the desk, “Please escort our guests to Lab 308. Answer any questions they might have.” Just as the trio was about to leave, Peters said, “And Agents, if you should need any help with anything, don’t hesitate to ask me personally.” The Spencer and _y/n_  thanked her and shook her hand before being led out by the student worker. 

Neither agent spoke much as they made their way to the third-floor lab. The student worker seemed to be giving an informal tour like she had been told to show off the department and its most prestigious alumni and features. To not make it awkward for the woman, _y/n_ or Spencer would comment or ask a relevant question to fill in the silence. Finally, they made it to the third floor and lab 308. The student halted and said, “This is Barry Whitehouse, one of our second-year TAs. He’ll let you into the lab and tell you all of the protocols.” With that, the young woman walked with urgency away from the group. _y/n_ looked at Spencer for a second, and they had a silent conversation. They both knew they were being watched and monitored. _y/n_ took the lead on this conversation, as the TA was looking at her with an expression that said he liked what he saw. Even though it made her skin crawl, _y/n_ extended a hand, saying, “Agent _y/n_. It’s nice to meet you.” _y/n_ even went as far as moving her free hand to flip her jacket to the side so Barry could see her badge. The man’s eyes were wide with awe like he’d stumbled across the fountain of youth and not some newbie FBI agent. _y/n_ had to stop herself from laughing. She hid the sound as a cough and quickly pulled her hand back from Mr. Whitehouse’s. _y/n_ pointed to Spencer and said, “And this is my partner, Dr. Reid.” Spence raised a hand in a half gesture of welcome. Barry frowned back at him. Sensing the tension, _y/n_ diverted the attention back to herself. In a voice laced with faux honey, she said, “So, we kinda need to get in the lab. Can you tell us what we need to know before going in there?” Barry’s attention snapped back to her, and he said, “Oh, yeah,” like he’d forgotten why he’d been called down from his office in the first place. The man cleared his throat and said, “Well it’s pretty basic stuff, wear gloves at all times, keep your hair back. You can pull the bodies out unless there’s red tape on the handle of the gurney. Looking is fine, but in no way are you to touch the bodies. No photography of any kind unless you have a warrant and lastly, you both need to sign the log at the door.” _y/n_ sent him another fake smile and led Spencer to the door before Barry could say anything else. She tossed gloves at Spencer while she signed the logbook. _y/n_ pulled her gloves over her hands and stepped into the lab after Reid. Barry seemed too shocked to state that he should go in with them to make sure they followed the department's standard procedure. 

Inside the sterile lab where the dead mingled with the living, _y/n_ and Spencer both slumped back against the wall. It felt like hours since they had been alone to just talk and run ideas around like they normally did on a crime scene. They both took a moment to compose themselves while they looked around the space. _y/n_ looked at the dead bodies and said, “Dr. Peters was so passive-aggressive. Good job on talking her down. What was that with he offering to help us at the end?” Spencer who was looking in the cabinets and drawers said, “It's all about funding and reputation at these schools. She was probably offended at the insinuation that something like what happened to Bobby did in her department, but in the end, it would look even worse if she seemed to be interfering in the investigation. Thus the change in tone.” Spencer took a breath and said, “And good on you for distracting Mr. TA out there.” For some reason _y/n_ heard a hint of jealousy in Reid’s words, but she didn’t read into it. Instead, she just said, “That was light work. I have a way of getting people flustered no matter what I do. But I think we won’t be alone for long. Barry will probably be in here in a minute or two.” Spencer bit his lip, as he looked around for a second and stated, “I don’t think we’ll find anything here.” _y/n_ looked at him dumbfounded and asked, “Why? We’ve only been in here for a few minutes and Jenni’s name was on the log outside. She was the last person in here.” Spencer’s sharp eyes caught _y/n_’s and he said, “Well, they might have been in here, but not for long. For one there’s no blue paint on any of these walls, and we found that on the body. And secondly,” Spence paused as if for dramatic effect, “There’s no formaldehyde. There is hydrochloric acid in the cabinets, but why keep the two separate if they were found together on Bobby?” _y/n_ pondered the puzzle and said, “It doesn’t make any sense. Not with the paint and the chemicals. This building is brand spanking new. The student worker told us.” Spencer nodded and said, “Exactly, and a brand new building means an old abandoned one as well.” As _y/n_ looked at Reid, he had the excited look of having a new idea look on his face. When he held the door open for _y/n_, she didn’t question his logic. She didn’t have time to try and read him as he followed after her out the door. 

Barry looked startled at their sudden reappearance. Reid approached the man and said, “Do you have a key to the old medical building down the hill and across the street? The one that’s set to be demolished at the end of the term?” The TA mumbled, “Well yes, but no one goes in there but staff now. There’s still some stuff that needs to be transferred over to this building. That place is a dump, really. It should be torn down.” Spencer nodded along and said, “Can I borrow your key? Just for an hour, I swear it could be important to the investigation. Don’t you want to help stop what’s been happening on campus?” Mr. Whitehouse looked uncertain and then moved his half-scared eyes to _y/n_’s _y/c/y/_’s ones. _y/n_ gave him a reassuring smile and the man took off his lanyard from his neck. Barry unclipped an old-looking key from his carabiner and instead of handing it to Spencer, brushed past the genius and placed it in _y/n_’s outstretched palm instead. _y/n_ thanked him, and as she moved to leave the new shiny building, she said, “Thanks, Barry. Hey, say, where’s the cadaver lab in the old building?” The TA replied softly, “The basement I think, G02.” Before the man could get another word in edgewise, _y/n_ and Spencer were darting out of the building and down the hill toward the old side of campus. As they half-jogged toward the new space with anticipation, _y/n_ asked, “How did you know about the old building? It wasn’t on any maps of campus that I saw.” Spencer replied as they moved across a busy street, “I noticed it in the newsletter outside yesterday when I was looking around. Something about an old building on campus being demolished soon. So I asked Garcia about it and she sent me the information. As soon as I heard it was the old school of medicine it piqued my interest.” _y/n_ looked at him bewildered with how smart Dr. Reid was. However, she didn’t have time to comment on it as she reached the door of the dilapidated building that was soon to be torn down. The outside facade read: Yale School of Medicine” in fading letters. From the outside, it looked like there was no working electricity inside. The thought of going in there sent a cold chill up her spine. Spencer seemed ready to go, and _y/n_ handed him the key saying, “I’m just going to shoot The team a text letting him know where we are. I don’t trust that texts will get out once we’re in there.” Reid nodded and replied, “Good idea,” as he slipped the key into the lock. _y/n_ shot off the message as she followed Spence’s hurried steps inside. Once the door was closed behind them, _y/n_ felt like the world had closed off behind her. The air was stale and foul. Even just a few steps from the door the light seemed to fade dimmer and dimmer. Spencer stopped at a directory and emergency map of the building's layout. _y/n_ flashed her phone’s flashlight on the map and Spence traced the path to the old cadaver lab in the basement. 

The idea of going into the bowels of the building had _y/n_ on edge, but she wasn’t going to let Spencer go alone. Reid looked at her and swallowed. _y/n_ could see he was nervous too and said, “Keep on the lookout.” With that, as if to still his fear, Spencer moved to the end of the long hallway and down the stairs to the basement level of the building. They both had their phone flashlights out trying to light the gloomy space. The silence and darkness was oppressive. Neither _y/n_ nor Reid wanted to talk as they pierced the dark. Even small sounds of the air conditioning or mice in the air vents had both of the agents spooked. _y/n_ remembered how the pictures of the bodies reminded her of a horror movie, and this was no different. She didn’t want to think of dying in a place like this. It was too awful to imagine. Although the building wasn’t that old, the bottom floor seemed more disused and old than the first floor. It felt like something out of a bad dream. The floors were dusty and the paint was peeling from humidity that had probably sprouted mold. Slowly they made it to the old lab. The door opened with a terrible squeak, letting anyone in the basement know that they were there. Unfortunately for them, the person whom Spencer hadn’t expected to see was waiting for them on the other side of the door. Just as Reid stepped into the tomb-like room, he was hit on the head with a metal tray. The lean agent stumbled back into _y/n_ who dropped her phone. Right as Spence moaned in pain, a set of strong hands pushed _y/n_ back into the far wall. _y/n_ clawed at her assailant, but it did no good, she got the same metal tray to the head that had incapacitated Spencer. The feeling of a cold needle inserted into _y/n_’s arm stilled her movements entirely. 

_y/n_ woke up to her head spinning. There was a light bulb somewhere above her, but it seemed to be swimming in the air. Its apparent swinging motion made _y/n_ feel sick to her stomach. Everything seemed so bright and dark at the same time. _y/n_ bit back any painful sound or bile from rising in her mouth. After a few minutes, _y/n_ could see more clearly. _y/n_ assessed the situation and realized that she was strapped to a metal chair. Her arms and legs were strapped to her sides and legs to that of the chairs' metal legs. _y/n_ lolled her head to the side and noticed Spencer similarly strapped to a metal table. His arms and legs were held tight by restraints. His shirt had been removed and _y/n_ wanted to look away to respect his privacy. _y/n_ also wanted to ask if he was okay. If anything had happened to him yet. _y/n_’s desire was cut short as a young woman moved into the stark space. _y/n_ now noticed the chipping navy paint, and she realized that this must be where the murders had taken place. _y/n_ took a breath and the woman standing in front of them said, “You’re finally awake. Good. I took your badges and guns. You won’t need them now. When I’m finished with you both you won’t be recognizable anyway. Did you think you were going to catch me down here? On my turf?” Jenni sounded cocky like she had her system down to a T. Spencer took a labored breath and said, “What, what do you plan on doing with us?” There was just a hint of fear in his voice. _y/n_ understood it. He was the one strapped up and disrobed, not her. Jenni gave a cold laugh and said, “I’m gonna cut you up of course. Put the motto of this fucking school on your back and then show that bitch Kitty just how wrong she is by making you as fucking ugly as that bastard you left me for a good-for-nothing whore in sophomore year. I gave him everything. And how does he repay me? By cheating on a dumb blonde that can’t even pass a biology test.” The weight of Jenni’s delusion and obsessiveness sat with _y/n_ as she watched the woman pull a glinting scalpel from a rotten drawer in the room and approach Spencer. It seemed she transferred her anger at being cheated onto her victims. And they were her latest. For one moment _y/n_ wanted to thrash and scream and close her eyes to everything around her. This didn’t feel fair. This wasn’t what she’d signed up for when she joined the BAU. It felt like being pushed into the lockers in high school for something she hadn’t done. And then it clicked. All of this, was so, so very high school, and if she could lean into that, maybe, just maybe she could buy time. Without even thinking, _y/n_ said, “Are you really so insecure that you had to kill other people too? Why not just Bobby and Kitty? They were the ones that fucked you over, right?” _y/n_’s statement had Jenni turn on her heel. A rage filled her face, turning it red as she retorted, “Well that wouldn’t be any fun now, would it? I could just kill them, but watching them suffer was so much better. I got rid of Bobby’s friends first, and he came crawling to me for support, not his little bitch. He never knew until it was too late, bless him. Then seeing Kitty’s face this morning when she found out he was dead, I could have framed it and put it on my mantle. I might still actually.” There was s tense silence before Jenni said, “But you’re just trying to distract me. I’m going to do your friend's first agent _y/l/n_ and then I’m going to do you, and I’ll make you watch just so you know what’s going to happen to you in a few minutes.” _y/n_ struggled against the zip ties that were holding her down, as she attempted to think of anything to stop Jenni from carving into the skin of Spencer’s back. Jenni started saying, “Lux et Veritas” over and over again as if steeling herself for what she was about to do. “This is about spite and insecurity,” _y/n_’s brain whispered to her. And did _y/n_ know a thing or two about insecurity? 

The words came unbidden, and _y/n_ said, “You know for a killer you’re really stupid. Dr. Reid didn’t go to Yale, he went to Stanford. But I guess you didn’t do your research huh Like you didn’t notice those bottles of formaldehyde over on the counter over there. So unless you’re ready to cut Die Luft der Freiheit Weht into Dr. Reid here, I think you’re shit out of luck. Just like you were in getting Bobby back..” Those words had the effect _y/n_ wanted on Jenni, but the outpouring of anger streaming from the woman with the knife left _y/n_ speechless for a moment as Jenni turned to face her. The unsub said, “Look at you fucking smart ass. What if I fixed your face before I end your partner? I could cut out your tongue and you wouldn’t be able to make any more smart quips. I bet you were always the center of attention. Well, no one will look at or hear you when I’m done. Of course, I’m saying that hypothetically. You’ll both be dead when I’m finished with you.” Jenni swiped the knife right in front of _y/n_’s face and the agent felt the blade just gash her brow. The wound could have been much, much worse. And _y/n_ expected it to be as Jenni stepped closer and said, “Now hold still and it won’t be so bad for you. I promise. I’ve done this loads of times. Except those were dead people and you’re not. So just act dead for a few minutes.” _y/n_ flinched and closed her eyes. Trying to picture anything that might comfort her and not what was actually happening. Perhaps her plans of distracting Foster from hurting Spencer had worked too well. But as _y/n_ reflected in a split second, _y/n_ realized it would be all worth it if he didn’t get hurt. Dr. Reid had a similar line of thought and said, “You hate cheaters, right Jenni? You don’t care about some girl who makes you feel othered. Your real issue is with people who betray those they claim to love. Well if you’re looking for someone to punish it’s me. I’m that guy. I can’t keep a girlfriend even though I’ve had plenty. They just grow stale to me. I’m never happy. Don’t blame _y/n_ for that. She’s always stood by me as I threw her feelings in her face time and time again.” Reid’s comments threw Jenni for a loop and she kept rocking back and forth not knowing who to get first. Who had done the worst thing in her mind? Even though _y/n_ had gawked at Spence’s statement, she caught on quickly to his strategy. First, he’d never had a girlfriend that she knew about, and second, he’d never, ever told her that he was interested in her, even though she was interested in him. And that was the game. Lie to Jenni, and keep her off balance enough to not let her get to either of them. Thankfully neither of the agents had to come up with more lies as the door to the room burst open. It was Hotch, Rossi, and Emily, plus a few LEOs from the UPD. Jenni was too stunned to move as Dave rushed in and took her hands, pulling them behind her back. Meanwhile, Aaron moved to Spencer to free him of his binds while Emily helped _y/n_ out of her zip ties. _y/n_ felt overwhelmed but rushed to Spence once he was free. She didn’t want to require comfort from him, but she needed it. They had some close to a bad end, and she didn’t even notice that he still hadn’t put his shirt back on yet. She pressed her face to his warm chest which was bare and heaving with the ordeal he had also been through. 

That realization hadn’t hit her until the stark red and blue lights were flashing from an ambulance in the bright light of day. While Hotch explained how he’d had a bad feeling about them going into the building alone. To _y/n_ it didn’t feel right to be outside in the daylight with JJ and Emily standing by her side as the paramedics looked over her and Reid. Nothing seemed to feel right after the cavernous dark that was the old med building. The fact that it was still daylight juxtaposed to the literal and metaphorical dark from before jarred _y/n_ in a way that she hadn’t expected. The medical professionals cleared both Spencer and _y/n_ after giving _y/n_ a bandaid for the cut on her face. 

The flight home felt strange as the team tried to decompress. _y/n_ felt a weight of inadequacy like she’d let things happen to her instead of initiating the action herself. And it had all happened so quickly with Jenni. _y/n_ sat with her thoughts at the back of the plane. Now and then she’d peek a glance at Spencer who was spread out across one of the couches sleeping. Sometimes _y/n_ thought that the jet was the only place she saw him sleep. Most of the time he was like a ball of nervous energy just waiting to be let out somehow. _y/n_ would walk with him on Sunday mornings, and he’d talk about how he’d stayed up all night reading a new ancient text online, or how he’d been the last person at the library just as they closed. And during the week if _y/n_ tossed and turned, she’d call Spence up and ask him what he was doing. Or she’d try and think about the most random question, like how many cows there were in Iowa, or what was the shortest river in Europe, and who decided what was a river and what was a stream. He always had an answer for her silly questions. He would talk long enough that she would fall back asleep with her face pressed into the covers and Reid still talking until he was sure she was asleep. Just once, _y/n_ had thought that Spencer had made up some fact or figure just to fill the quiet space in the night. So she could finally rest. She hadn’t asked him about it after. She knew she was just lucky to have him as a friend. Now as Spencer dreamt and she doubted, it felt weird. _y/n_’s train of thought was interrupted as Rossi sat across from her with a small groan. Dave looked at how tired _y/n_ appeared and said, “What’s eating you, kid?” Rossi’s affectionate nickname always brought a smile to _y/n_’s face and this was no exception, except it slipped quickly after. _y/n_ rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and said, “I don't know Rossi. I didn’t feel like a profiler back there. I felt like a kid. What’s the point of all the training and stuff if you feel too scared when you really should be doing your job?” Dave nodded in understanding and said, “_y/n_, we all freeze. All of us. Don’t think you’re some rare exception to that. But when it came to it, you did act. One doesn’t have to feel like a profiler to profile. Nobody was calling Howard Teten a profiler when he came up with the method we use, and yet he still did it. Profiling is less about fancy words and techniques and more about trusting your gut when things get hairy. And you did just that. You realized that provoking the unsub would distract her from Spencer. And I’m sure Dr. Reid would be happy to tell you that he’s relieved he didn’t leave that situation with a permanent mark of Yale or Stanford’s mottos carved into his back.” That had _y/n_ chuckle and Rossi was happy to see her lighten up a bit. The older man stood and just before he moved to take his seat across from Aaron again, he said, “Remember kid, in the end, we’re all just base instincts. Just things filled with wants and needs No one can fight them, not even Spencer Reid.” Rossi patted her shoulder and left her wide-eyed and speechless. Was Rossi, Rossi hitting on her on Spencer's behalf? _y/n_ had to move to the bathroom to not let anyone see how flustered she was at the soft comment. 

In the small space, _y/n_ splashed cold water on her face. She looked into the mirror at her appearance. She’d hoped that she couldn’t be read that easily. She’d hidden her feelings for Spencer from everyone, especially Reid. If he’d caught on, he hadn’t said anything about it. _y/n_ sent up a prayer that no one else had noticed apart from Rossi. She didn’t have the bandwidth to think about it right now and she couldn’t stay holed up in the bathroom for the rest of the flight. _y/n_ took a deep breath, straightened her _y/f/c_ shirt, and then moved back into the cabin of the plane. When she got back to her seat the wave of exhaustion she had been waiting to hit her for the last hour and a half finally did. As she let sleep take her, she wondered if it was possible that Spencer loved her back. She doubted it. When the jet landed back in Quantico, it was dark and sleeting outside. The winter weather just wasn’t ready to let go yet. It wouldn’t for at least another month. As everyone piled into the bullpen, shaking off the cold, Spencer approached _y/n_ and said, “I’ll drive you home if you're ready.” _y/n_ looked up from her go bag and said, “You don’t have to do that Spence. I can take the tube. My place is in the opposite direction from yours.” Reid rolled his eyes and said, “I know that, _y/n_.” It’s not like he hadn’t driven her home every chance he got without it being too obvious that he had a crush on her. They always had this dance of her saying no but then giving in when he’d just wait around her desk. It wasn’t any different this night. Reid didn’t like the idea of _y/n_ taking a bus, and then a long train ride to her home every night. It wasn’t just the high rate of accidents that happened on public transport and a crumbling infrastructure system, but the people she might see there. Reid wasn’t one for catastrophizing but he just didn’t want _y/n_out there where anything could happen to her. His mind flashed to the case and how Jenni had held the scalpel at _y.n_. ; promising to “fix her.” At that moment in the dark, the last thing he was thinking about was himself. The scene was eating at his insides like acid. It took _y/n_ tapping him on the shoulder and saying, “I’m ready now if the offer’s still valid.” Spencer nodded and they both walked out into the night. 

On the twenty-minute drive back to her place there was silence until Reid asked, “What are you doing once you get home?” _y/n_ looked at him with some surprise. He didn’t normally ask her about what she did outside of work. She assumed he just wasn’t interested, thus why she thought he didn’t have feelings for her. _y/n_ replied, “I don’t know. Probably have _y/f/f/f_ delivered and watch _y/f/f/g/m_. I need a good light-hearted distraction after that case.” She then turned the question on him and said, “How about you?” Spencer flipped on the turn signal and smoothly took his car on the wide turn that led to _y/n_’s street. He stole a glance at her and then back at the road before saying, “Probably do some reading. And I need to call my mom. I do it on the second of every month. I have to call her on even days of the month. She gets angry if I don’t.” Hearing the date had something snap in _y/n_. She muttered, “Oh God, it’s the second already?” Spencer looked at her concerned and said, “_y/n_, what’s the matter?” _y/n_ took her hands from her head and said, “I have that lecture to give in two days for Derek. I completely forgot about it with the case.” The lecture was sounding more and more like a pain, especially now that she would have to write it in just two days. Reid said, “I could stay and help you if you like?” _y/n_ nodded her head no and said, “Thanks Spence, but I’ll figure it out. I just gotta have a cup of c/t_ or an energy drink or something.” Even as the word left her, _y/n_’s heart ached. She wanted Reid’s help so much, needed it. But he looked so tired. More than usual. _y/n_ knew the incident in the lab had shaken him up like it had her, but he was just better at hiding it. Also, _y/n_ felt that if they were couped up in her tiny overpriced studio apartment together she’d do something she’d regret. Something that she wouldn’t ever be able to take back. Rossi’s comment on the plane wasn’t helping her think clearly, and she needed a clear head to write this stupid lecture. _y/n_ didn’t notice the little tug of concern on Spence’s lips as he pulled in front of her building. He just said, “Okay, _y/n_. Well, I’ll give you a ring after I call my mom and see how you’re doing. Okay?” _y/n_ nodded and took her bag from Reid’s hand. She very quickly said goodbye and thanked him, as she almost sprinted out of the car. She was beginning to feel a headache come on and if she stayed a moment longer she would invite him and I’d all be over. She couldn’t sacrifice the great friendship she had built with him for a fling that might not pan out. Holed up in her space, _y/n_ let whatever emotions she had flooded over her and she dropped her bag with a thud and crawled into bed for an hour. It was Spencer’s call that got her up and to work with what she assumed was going to be the worst N.A.T. lecturer of all time. 

_y/n_ had shown up at the office with a persistent headache and a half-shod draft of what she hoped she could shape into a lecture by the end of the day. Five hours after her arrival, Spencer was making comments that she didn’t understand and weren’t exactly encouraging sounding. _y/n_ stood and said, “Alright Spence. Let me see it, you’re not annotating Chaucer after all.” Reid looked up at her, pen still in hand. _y/n_ didn’t sound pleased and he wasn't sure why. He handed her lecture back to her and watched her face contort slightly at what he thought were very helpful notes. _y/n_ let out a breath and sat on the edge of Spence’s desk. His comments might be copious and slightly annoying, but he was still offering to help her which she was grateful for. She’d have to say she was sorry for being so snippy, but she didn’t feel a hundred percent and it was showing in her actions. However, the apology never had a chance to be voiced as Reid’s comments began to swim in front of _y/n_’s eyes, the bright and happy voices of Em, JJ, and Garcia cut through the haze. _y/n_ looked over at the group. Emily said, “We’re getting drinks at the bar down the street. Y’all should come with us. It’s past five and we deserve a drink after that case.” _y/n_ opened her mouth to say no, but Penelope cut her off saying, “All work and no play makes _y/n_ a dull girl. Now, do you want to be a dull girl in front of the NATs tomorrow?” _y/n_ shook her head and let out a laugh at Garcia’s logic. As cliche as it was, _y/n_ couldn’t argue with it. The _y/h/c_ed agent put her hands up in surrender and said, “Alright, alright. I’m coming.” That got a cheer from the group. _y/n_ looked over at Spencer and said, “You coming?” Reid wanted to say no, to just keep working for a while longer, but _y/n_’s strange behavior and the pleading look she was giving him had him cave and agree too. _y/n_ dropped her lecture notes on her desk as she grabbed her purse and left with the group. The five agents drove in Emily’s and JJ’s cars to the strip of bars near the Quantico Field office. As everyone clamored into a booth at the iconic South of DC Bar, Garcia said, “I can’t wait for the weather to get better and for it to be light out later. Winter gives me the ick big time.” Everyone laughed and agreed. A waiter came and got their first round of drinks. _y/n_ wasn’t planning on drinking a lot due to her engagement in the morning and Spencer only got water. He wanted to make sure there was at least one person sober to drive them back if need be. _y/n_ stuck to her plans and just had one other drink which was a shot, paid for by Penelope. Garcia, JJ, and Em had finally gotten _y/n_ and Spencer out together, but the plan to get the two, young, agents together wasn’t working as they hoped. The fact that _y/n_ wasn’t drunk enough to ask how her dating life was going to steer the conversion in that direction. Spencer also seemed to have something on his mind as he sipped his water and didn’t seem that invested in the conversation the group was having. Of course, Em, JJ, and Pen couldn’t know that he was replaying the scene from his car over and over again in his head. He wondered if he’d said something to piss _y/n_ off. She’d been acting differently since they’d arrived home. Reid knew he could be blunt, and come off as uncaring, but last night he’d tried at tenderness, and _y/n_’s response seemed to confirm that she wasn’t interested in him like that. Not like he wanted them to be. 

The evening seemed like a bust, as the group closed out and moved toward their cars. They had to park a few streets over as the bar crowd picked up right after work in the inner city. As the group moved toward their vehicles, the sound of five guys in an alley across the road caught the profilers’ attention. _y/n_ looked through the gloom and noticed the men huddled around a woman who seemed to be very drunk, or even drugged. The sight had a hard pit form in _y/n_’s stomach. Rossi had talked about instinct and desire, and _y/n_ knew the men surrounding the helpless women had a bad desire. Desire was one thing, but when it went bad, it went really bad as evidenced by Jenni. _y/n_ wouldn’t stand it. She wasn’t going to let this just happen to a stranger. Emily had seen the same thing and both agents quickly ran across the road avoiding a car. Prentiss shouted, “Hey. get your hands off her. Back off!” The group of men turned. One smiled with terrible teeth and said, “Look fellows, some girls want to join the fun.” _y/n_ could have spat with anger at being called a girl. She held back her fury and said, “You heard my friend, get the fuck off of her.” The apparent leader of the group said, “Well men. Looks like we have a fighter. Try and make me babe.” The tall man couldn’t have expected to be thrown against the wall and away from the woman he’d been harassing. The leader, snapped up in anger for being manhandled even though that was what he’d just been doing himself. The rage surged in him and he stepped forward. He was significantly taller than _y/n_ and it didn’t take much for him to slam _y/n_ into the wall she had pushed him into. As he gripped _y/n_’s _l/m/s_ hair at the base he growled, “You little whore. I’ll show you what happens when a cunt gets in my way.” The man pressed his body to her’s pinning her to the wall. He then grabbed her head and smashed it into the brick wall. If _y/n_ had thought her head hurt before in the office it didn’t even compare on a scale with what she was feeling now. Everything went black for a second and her body slumped against the wall. 

Spencer watched it all happen before he could do anything because the cars now wouldn’t stop coming. He cringed as _y/n_’s face got bashed into the wall. He watched as Emily moved in to help and pulled the guy away before being hit too. Finally, the cars stopped because of the red light up ahead, and Spencer shouted at JJ, “Call the cops,” as he sprinted across the road and past a stalled car. Reid booked it across the road. When he was a foot from the scene, he used the strongest voice he had to say “Federal Agent, break it up right now.” Spencer channeled Derek and Aaron as much as he could, as he pushed one of the men off Emily. The leader looked up and said, “Yeah, yeah beanpole. Show me a badge and I’ll believe you.” Reid let out a heavy breath, pulled out his badge, and flashed it around to the men who were now moving slowly back into the alley. The group noticed as JJ and Garcia ended up on their side of the street, flashing their badges. The last straw was when Emily got up and showed her badge too. The flashing of police lights had the group scatter like flies. JJ stepped forward and helped the woman who had been harassed up and toward the first police car that arrived while Spencer knelt next to _y/n_ and Emily. _y/n_was stirring back to wakefulness and the pain stunned her into groaning. _y/n_ kept her eyes closed as concerned voices floated above her. The sounds of sirens mostly filled her ears. _y/n_ moved a hand to touch her face which was throbbing with a consistent pain down her nose and cartilage beneath it.  _y/n_’s hand got stopped and that firm yet gentle grip finally had her open her eyes. Spencer was holding her hand and said in a worried voice, “Don’t touch your face, _y/n_. I think your nose is broken. Can you breathe through it at all?” _y/n_ took a tentative breath through it and replied, “I can. It hurts, but I can.” Her voice sounded weak and far away. As _y/n_ came more to her senses, her pain level heightened, and she noticed Emily beside her. Prentiss looked as bad as _y/n_ felt and _y/n_ said, “Em, how are you? You okay?” Prentiss shrugged and said, “I’ve felt better, but I’ll survive. Nothing gives me as much satisfaction as scaring some tough guys off. I just wished it ended without us looking like we fell down five flights of stairs.” Prentiss’s comment had _y/n_ chuckle which was a mistake as it hurt like hell the instant _y/n_  started laughing. _y/n_ looked up as JJ’s familiar shoes approached the group on the ground. JJ bent down next to Spencer and asked, “Should I call an ambulance?” Em cut in and said, “Not for me. I’m not going to spend hours in a hospital only to be given some Benadryl and an exorbitant co-pay. I’m not that bad. If it keeps hurting in the morning I’ll go the the ER.” JJ acknowledged Emily’s point and then looked over to _y/n_. _y/n_ was in pain, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with her apart from her nose. _y/n_ looked from Spencer and then to JJ and said, “I think I’m fine. I can breathe and see straight. Just a bit sore.” Again JJ nodded and said, “Okay, well Hotch is on his way. Garcia called him before we crossed the street and some of the cops went to look for those guys while the others were taking care of the lady we found.” Hearing that Hotch was coming had _y/n_ groan and say, “Hotch is gonna be mad. I shouldn’t have jumped into a scene like that.” Emily chuckled and said, “Well it was pretty impressive, but let me handle him. We’ve all done something like this before. It’s just the first time for you. He’ll have some stern words for you in his office tomorrow, but he’ll understand.” _y/n_ gave a little nod and felt comforted by Emily’s reassurance. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as she imagined. 

Spencer helped her to her feet after another minute on the cold ground, _y/n_ grunted with the effort, but put on a brave face which was bleeding again. The wound from Jenni had reopened and was oozing blood, along with her nose and a split lip. _y/n_ could taste the iron of her blood as she wiped at her face with her sleeve. _y/n_ leaned heavily on Reid, as she gave a brief statement to the cops and a bit of a longer one to Aaron who had his arms crossed over his chest in a pseudo-disappointed but mainly concerned face. After a half hour, Spencer approached JJ and they had a quiet conversation between them. It ended with JJ handing over her car keys and giving him a pat on the shoulder. _y/n_ was leaning against one of the cop cars, and Spencer approached her with a soft concern. The genius said, “Alright, _y/n_ I’m taking you to the ER.” _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “Can’t you just take me home?” Spence nodded no and replied, “Nope. You don’t have to go to the hospital, but I am having you looked at. If nothing else I need to make sure your nose isn’t broken.” _y/n_ tried a last defense as she said, “But Emily…” Spencer cut her off and said, “Emily is Emily, and Hotch is taking her to the ER too, she just doesn’t know it yet. Now please stop arguing with me, _y/n_.” Whatever _y/n_ was going to say died in her mouth. Spencer’s tone left no room for negotiation. She’d never heard him be so demanding yet comforting at the same time. They walked silently to JJ’s car. Spencer opened the passenger side door for her, before getting in the driver's seat. He turned the key in the ignition and drove toward the nearest clinic. _y/n_ closed her eyes and tried not not sound like she was struggling to breathe or make pained sounds as they drove over speed bumps or potholes. _y/n_ didn’t know if or what to say. She was contemplating how many new things had happened to her this week. How she’d personally been threatened by an unsub, how she’d gotten into another hairy situation this evening. As _y/n_ reflected on the two incidents, she could at least say she had acted decisively on the second occasion. _y/n_ could feel Spencer thinking beside her and she had to ask, “Are you disappointed in me?” _y/n_ didn’t know why she asked, or if she wanted to know the answer, but Spence was her best friend and she didn’t think she could stand not knowing what he was thinking. The heavy silence had _y/n_ squirm in her seat. After another minute and a lot of rewording in Reid’s head, he replied, “I’m not disappointed in you, _y/n_. Just worried. First, there was the case in the lab, and now this. I wish you didn’t jump into things so strongly. But you did the right thing. The brave thing.” Again Spencer was giving her mixed signals. She didn’t know if he was mad at her or proud. Or maybe a mix of both. It was so hard to tell with him and her head was pounding again. Trying to understand what Reid’s core emotion was, she stated, “You would have jumped in too. Emily did.” Spencer sighed deeply and said, “I would have jumped in now. But probably not when was a first-year agent. I know now that I don’t have to physically jump into every situation, but that comes with time.” Reid’s statement only left _y/n_ more confused, so she shut her eyes and mouth and just tried to breathe normally. For a profiler, she didn’t feel that good at reading him right now. 

Spencer was doing his darndest to mask his real emotions, concern, and worry. He’d meant what he said to _y/n_, but he hadn’t meant it to come off as so passive-aggressive. So hot and cold. The issue was he was all hot and soft and wanted to pull _y/n_ into a hug and tell her that she had been so brave, if not cocky for taking on five men at once. It wasn’t the technique he would have used, but she’d moved on instinct, a pure instinct to protect and defend someone in need. He saw her do this over and over and over on the field. She did it with him and it made him love her even more. But _y/n_ was trying to act brave and fight back tears as they got closer to the ER, and he didn’t know how to tell her he cared about her more than anything without telling her he loved her. It wasn’t possible, so he let the silence sit again. Thankfully the small clinic that was nearest to them was only five minutes away, and he pushed the pedal down a bit farther to get _y/n_ the care she claimed she didn’t need. 

Inside the small office, Spencer grabbed an intake packet while _y/n_ handed over her insurance card. The receptionist said, “It should be about thirty minutes. The nurse will call you back when they’re ready for you.” Reid nodded and led _y/n_ to a chair. She had her eyes closed and her head in her hands. The pain was slowly ebbing back into her body as her energy dipped again. Spencer realized that the lights were bothering her, and he set the forms down on the adjacent chair. He slipped off his jacket and draped it over _y/n_’s hunched head and shoulders. _y/n_ felt an instant reprieve as the lights that she was trying to keep out of her view disappeared under a blanket of black. She let out a sigh of relief. Swallowing down her emotions, _y/n_ peaked out from under the coat. Spencer was filling out the tedious form for her and she whispered, “Thanks, Spence.” Spencer looked over to her and said, “Of course, _y/n_.” He patted his shoulder as if saying, “You can rest your head here.” _y/n_ had never heard him use such kindness with her before. He looked out for her, but not like this. She didn’t have the energy to read into anything anymore. She just accepted what was being offered and dropped the jacket over her face again, not caring if she looked silly. _y/n_ also dipped her head onto his warm shoulder, letting the scratching of the pen and the dimmed sound of the TV fill her ears. A half-hour later, _y/n_ got seen by a doctor who informed her that her nose had a minor fracture. The doctor did put two stitches in on her forehead to close up the scar that was much deeper than _y/n_ had expected. _y/n_ tried to pay attention as the medical man gave her care instructions and prescription for a stronger pain relief. He also gave her a large dose of Advil for her to be able to rest that night. Reid checked her out and got her prescription from the nurse at the exit. The tired woman tried to flirt with him, but he didn’t respond. He just wanted to get _y/n_ home safely. 

The ride back was soft as the pain medication started making _y/n_ drowsy. Spencer got her up to her apartment and room. Just as Spencer thought _y/n_ was asleep, _y/n_ said, “Call me tomorrow at eleven so I can get up in time to make that lecture.” Reid wanted to tell her to take a break. He’d give the lecture, but by that time she was already asleep. Reid let out a soft breath. He pulled the covers over _y/n_’s form and turned off the light in her room. Spencer softly slipped out of her room and locked the electronic lock behind him. As he drove JJ’s car back to the liaison’s apartment, he considered his feelings. How he’d watched _y/n_ grow as an agent so far with the BAU. They had just kind of clicked in a way that he hadn’t expected. It had started as early as her first case as she noticed something in his geographic profile that he had missed. As it turned out sometimes Spencer’s attention to tiny details and his expansive knowledge left holes in the bigger picture. Holes that _y/n_ could see and point out. She’d come to him personally to point it out. She didn’t make a big deal of catching something that the infamous Dr. Reid had missed. She didn’t try and show off, she just pointed it out like he was a normal person, like everyone else who made human errors. Since then they had just stuck. They balanced the other out. Spencer sighed as he thought about her battered face, her desire to prove herself again and again like she wasn’t good enough already. That was the problem with liking someone in the department, who had to watch them throw themselves in danger over and over and it killed Reid. That was another reason he had kept his feelings at bay. But tonight something had shifted, and he didn’t know if he could pretend anymore. He’d sleep on it and re-evaluate in the morning. He found this policy worked for almost everything in his life, and he hoped to any God that it would bring clarity the following day. 

As it turned out, _y/n_ didn’t need to have Spencer call her in the morning, as she woke up sore and in pain at 7:00 a.m. She got up and drank a glass of water with her pain meds. She reminded herself that she needed to pick up her prescription as she started making some _c/t_. _y/n_ then moved to the mirror and cringed at the sight of her face. _y/n_ did her best to fight the puffiness with makeup, but even as hard as she tried, no makeup was going to cover everything. The stitches for one couldn’t be touched for a few days, so they stood out like a sore thumb. _y/n_ called Emily and asked if she was coming in that morning. Prentiss replied, “Yup. Hotch wants to talk to us. I forgot to tell you last night. I kind of passed out once I got home.” _y/n_ nodded, accepting the inevitable, and said, “Okay. What time did he say?” Pernitss replied, “Noon. He promised to make it quick.” _y/n_ bit the inside of her mouth, but she’d rather get this unpleasant lecture over with before giving her lecture later in the day. _y/n_ asked, “Can you come pick me up? I want your reassurance before seeing Hotch.” Emily lightly laughed on the other end of the line and said, “You got it. _y/n_. Be there in thirty-ish minutes.” _y/n_ got changed and picked up her work bag. She remembered Spencer and shot him a text as Emily arrived saying that she was up and headed to the office. She also said, “Thanks for your help last night. See you in a few.” _y/n_ still wasn’t sure what last night was between them, a fight? A confession? She couldn’t say, but she was too stressed about the meeting with Hotch to think about it now. 

Hotch’s lecture about jumping into situations without thinking first was stern enough to remind them to not do that again but hinted at a kind of pride that he only showed for his team and no one else. Two hours after that talk _y/n_ was standing in front of the lectern with a sea of NATs sitting in front of her. There were at least two hundred in this class, and somehow giving this lecture now felt more daunting than anything else that had happened that week. Maybe because it was the last big thing she needed to do before the weekend, or that she was a bit overdressed for the occasion, or that the lights were hurting her eyes. The front of the stage was uncomfortably hot with all the lights pointed at her. _y/n_ took one last breath before looking at her useless notes, which she hadn’t looked at since yesterday afternoon. The man that had introduced her had just said that Derek Morgan couldn’t make it today and then said her name and that was it. _y/n_ felt like they deserved a better explanation than that. So she started by saying, “Well, as you all know, Derek Morgan was supposed to be talking to you today. As you can see, I’m not him.” That got a chuckle from a good part of the audience. _y/n_ placed her hand on either side of the lectern and said, “If it’s not clear by Morgan’s absence, and well, my face, a lot of unexpected things can happen in the FBI. And that’s really what your case studies are about. To learn to adapt and observe. You’ve got a month left at the academy and that month is going to go fast, so allow me to tell you what to expect.” _y/n_ looked out at the young and eager faces in front of her. She looked to the back and noticed Spencer standing there. She’d hardly had time to see him today, and it gave her a profound amount of comfort to have him here. _y/n_ relaxed and jumped into her thoughts and experiences with her case studies. She hardly went off her notes and just went on instinct. She didn’t sound rehearsed or like she was trying to be smart. She was just being herself. The person Spencer admired more than anyone at the moment. _y/n_ managed to make it through most of her remarks and felt grateful that the agents in training were paying attention to her while taking notes or nodding along. She detailed how now was the time to make mistakes. How it was better to ask all your questions, even stupid ones, during these exercises and not when you were out on the field. How to tag evidence, and how to look for small and big details in the fake cases they would be given. Just as _y/n_ was about to make her final point and wrap up, a wave of dizziness hit her out of nowhere. _y/n_ stumbled a bit, and suddenly, the lights were so bright, and her jacket felt like it was suffocating her. Not sure what was happening, _y/n_ closed her eyes tight and gripped the lectern tightly. There was a murmur from the NATs. This wasn’t how she wanted her lecture to end, but not thinking of any other choice but ducking behind the stage to get a seat, she said, “Sorry. I’m not feeling so well. My friend and colleague, Dr. Spencer Reid will close out the lecture. Thank you all for your time, and good luck with the last month. I believe all of you have what it takes to be great agents.” There were a few hesitant claps of applause as _y/n_ moved off stage on shaky feet. She was met by the man who had introduced her, and led her to a chair on the side of the stage. He asked if she wanted to go, but she protested and just sat in the dark trying to regain her composure. 

Spencer had watched as _y/n_ swayed unsteadily at the front of the room. His heart leaped in his chest, seeing _y/n_ like this. He hadn’t expected to be called to speak. But _y/n_ had asked, and he moved onto the stage. He quickly introduced himself even though everyone in the audience already knew who he was. Reid looked down at the last page of _y/n_’s notes, which she had sort of been following, and realized most of the page were just his corrections, and suddenly, he understood why she had been so annoyed yesterday morning. His annotations were too much to be helpful. Spence sighed, looked at the students, and then into the wings where _y/n_ was sitting on a chair. Reid started talking, but it wasn’t for the students, at least not wholly. He said, “Being in the FBI isn’t an easy job. I think you all know that now, and if you don’t, well I guess it’t not too late to quit, but what will all have that work been for then? As you head into your case studies, I have one last thing to tell you, and that’s that you need friends now and when you’re on the field. I say this because there’s always something you’ll miss, and if you make friends, they can tell you that and fill in the gaps. You need someone you can call night or day because things will get hard, and you’ll be lost or scared or think you’re not doing enough. You’ll need someone to remind you that you're just as human as everyone else. So as you get sorted into your teams and assigned your cases, get to know your team members. Trust them. I think that’s the best advice I can offer you. Thank you.” With that, Spence exited stage left and replaced the introducer who moved back into the bright light of the stage to dismiss the NATs. Spencer checked in with _y/n_, who said, “Thanks Spence. Sorry to put you on the spot like that.” Reid shook his head and said, “It was nothing. How do you feel, what happened?” _y/n_ swallowed and said, “I don’t know, I just got faint. It’s passed now, I think.” Spencer couldn’t hide his genuine concern for her as he said, “_y/n_, please let me take you to the hospital or something. You shouldn’t be nearly fainting.” _y/n_ looked at him and didn’t think she could bear another two hours in a waiting room. She said, “Spencer, please. If you’ve ever cared about me, can you just take me to _y/l/p_ and then drive me home?” The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Reid stilled at her words and said, “Okay, _y/n_. Whatever you want.” The pair quickly made it to Spencer's car in the lot just outside the NAT training building. 

Once they were inside his car, _y/n_ said, “Spence, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say it like that. I didn’t mean to assume or throw your concern back in your face. You’ve always been so nice to me, and I guess I just saw what I wanted to.” Reid looked at _y/n_ and said, “I love you, _y/n_.” The words astounded _y/n_, and she didn’t know what to say apart from, “What?” Spencer looked at her with the eyes he had last night on the drive back to her apartment and said, “I’ve loved you for a long time, and I didn’t know what to say. I meant everything up there on that stage. You’re my best friend, and you remind me that I’m human, and why I’m doing what I am. I just didn’t say the part about how I’ve been bottling up my feelings for months now. Because I’m a coward when it comes to my feelings. _y/n_ was almost in tears now, and she said, “You’re not a coward Spencer, and if you are, then I am too because I love you too, and I never said anything either.” Spence couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned across the console to embrace _y/n_. He was mindful of her face, and as _y/n_ pressed into him, he relaxed. Feelings were hard. He still didn’t fully understand them, but with _y/n_, he was just human enough to want to embrace them.

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[misctf]

Tim took a deep breath as he wiped some sweat off his face with his shirt, making sure to show off his toned abdomen. A good run always helped him work up a sweat. And even better- the cute single girl that lived in the townhouse across from him had just gotten home and he wanted to give her a little show. They had spoken a few times and Tim was feeling good about his chances.

“Hey.” He said, motioning with his hand and giving her his signature smirk. Girls could barely resist it and he was good at playing the long game. Something his older brother taught him well. Give a few smirks, show off a little. It was only a matter of time before she caved. But until then, he could wait. He gave one final nod before he headed back inside his apartment, where he tossed his shoes to the side and started to head towards his room.

“Hey Mike!” He called out, awaiting the response of his roommate.

No response. Tim frowned- must’ve missed him. Mike probably left for home. And Tim couldn’t blame him. He had a lot going on anyway, even if things were getting better. It started about six months prior when Mike came out- shocking nearly everyone who knew him, especially Tim. Suddenly, Mike was a different person- no more gaming, going to sporting event, or bro talk- it was like his friend disappeared overnight. And the worst was his boyfriend, Jeremy. They apparently met at the gym and the guy was incredibly overbearing. So when Jeremy went back to his family home for the month, Tim was relieved. Especially when Mike started acting like his old self. And when Mike asked Tim for advice about breaking up with Jeremy, he was more than happy to help.

“Alright, gotta get a shower in, I smell ripe.” Tim mumbled pulling off his shirt.

“I think you actually smell good.” Tim jumped at the higher pitched voice that came from behind him. He turned around quickly, his eyes narrowing at none other than Jeremy, “Woah dude,” Jeremy mocked, “if looks could kill.” He teased.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tim asked angrily, “And what the fuck are you wearing?” Tim was disgusted, looking at the nearly naked Jeremy. Yet he continued to stare, his eyes drawn to the jockstrap that covered the man’s package.  

“Oh I didn’t come here for Michael.” Jeremy sighed, “I wanted to speak to you actually.” Tim raised an eyebrow, “The breakup hurt, was a real shame honestly. But I guess Michael was stronger than I thought.” Jeremy smirked, “Eyes up here BTW.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” Tim replied, blushing, unable to stop staring. Jeremy chuckled.

“I know you helped Michael overcome my influence.” Jeremy his voice lowered, “He’s strong willed, part of the reason I was so into him. But I thought my hypnosis was enough at the time.” The dark haired man reflected.

“What are you talking about? You sound insane.” Jeremy sauntered over to Tim, who tried to take a step back but couldn’t move.

“When I saw him in the gym that day, his muscles bulging and all sweaty, I just... wow.” Tim’s eyes widened as Jeremy reached his hand out, gently caressing his cheek. He wanted to punch the freak, but couldn’t move, “And I knew I had to make him mine. And damn Tim I was good. I nearly had him, but he resisted. And then I left for vacation and all he had was you.” He spat.

“You bastard... You fucking hypnotized him? What even...”

“But Timmy.” Jeremy cut him off, “I realized something. When I look at you, feel you, I...” His hand moved across Tim’s chest.

“I’m not falling for any of your BS hypnosis bro. I’m not gonna be your new boyfriend.” Jeremy replied confidently. And for a second, he felt the hold over him break and he pushed Jeremy away.

Jeremy smiled, “Oh Timmy, I don’t need a boyfriend right now.” Tim was confused and it was evident on his face, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He chuckled, “I think I need some time for myself.”

“So then... what the fuck do you want?” Tim forced out. He was feeling hotter, sweat running down his chest and back.

Jeremy smiled, “Well, let me show you!” He walked towards the closet, shaking his ass with each step- something Tim couldn’t help but stare at, “You see, I can’t have Michael and I accept that. But break ups are hard. And honestly...” Tim watched as Jeremy pulled out a dog mask from behind the bed. From what he could tell, it was black and grey, likely made of shiny rubber, “I’ve always wanted a pup.”

“Fuck no, get that shit away from me.” Tim tried to move, but again found his body unable to move, his eyes fixated on the mask.

“These masks have been in my family for generations actually. I picked it up before I came back from vacay.” Jeremy said, now inches away from Tim, “I’ve only seen them in action a few times.” He frowned as he caressed Tim’s cheek, “It’s such a shame. If only I saw you first at the gym that day, maybe we would’ve been great together. I’ll miss seeing this handsome face.” And before Tim could get a word of protest in, Jeremy forced the mask over Tim’s face, pulling it into position.

At that moment Tim felt a burning sensation all across his face wherever the mask was touching. He let out a yelp of pain and his hands shot to his face, attempting to pull and tug at the mask. Jeremy stepped back and watched as Tim fell to his knees, desperately pulling at the mask that covered him. But no matter how hard Tim pulled, the mask wouldn’t budge. He was barely aware that the remainder of his clothes were burning away, leaving him naked. He looked up at Jeremy with tears in his eyes.

“Get this fucking thing off me!” Tim cried out. He tried to get his hands up underneath the hood, but to his horror, it was like the edge of the mask had fused with the skin of his neck. There was nowhere to pull it off, “What is this shit?!” He pulled at the snout and let out a yelp of pain. It felt almost like he was tugging at his own skin. He only confirmed his theory when he went to pull at the ears and felt a similar pain.

“Timmy, I’d stop doing that if I were you, looks painful.” Jeremy chuckled, watching as Tim continued pulling, “Ah that’s right. Tim stop pulling at your face.” Jeremy commanded, and much to Tim’s horror, he felt his arms fall to his sides. He looked up at the dark haired man, tears falling from his eyes, “As you can see, the mask has certain... qualities. All good pups are obedient, right Timmy?” Tim nodded slowly, “But the thing is, Michael told me a lot about you while we were dating. And I think in reality, this role will suit you very well.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Tim breathed out, still staring up at Jeremy.

Jeremy smirked, “You’ve always been a follower.”

His voice was firm and Tim felt something wash over him. A strange feeling that made him nod slowly. A follower? What could that even mean? He always felt like a leader- captain of his lacrosse team in high school, president of several clubs in college, and now was leading a team at his investment job. Was he actually a follower? Maybe he always listened to his parents and was easily swayed by his peers at times, but a follower seemed a bit extreme, right?

Jeremy cleared his voice, “You’ve always done what you think is expected of you.”

Tim shuddered. His accomplishments, his success and leadership roles- all those things were just what other people expected of him. His teachers, his family, his friends, his boss. All expecting him to do things, be something. He remembered his dad always telling him that he needed to go into business to make an honest living. His mom had encouraged him to eat healthy and stay in shape. His older brother always pushing him in sports and giving him tips on how to pick up girls. And why? Why did they do it? And... did he actually want these things?

“The more you think about it, the more you realize you’ve never wanted anything for yourself, only ever wanting to be guided.”

Tim looked down at his naked form. He was always taking in input from others, always modeling his interests and pursuits on what others suggested or pushed him towards. Who was he exactly? A stereotype. A straight jock who majored in business who lusted after women. But he was happy, wasn’t he? Did he even want to be someone else? And even if this wasn’t him or who he wanted to be, he was still successful, he still had friends, he was setting himself up nicely for a good future. He was making them proud, and that gave him a sense of accomplishment. And being told what to do was helpful. It made life easy- everything was so simple when his life was planned.

Jeremy smirked as he watched two arm bands materialize around Tim’s toned arms, “That’s another thing Timmy, when’d you start shaving your body hair?”

Tim looked up at Jeremy, forced to answer the question, “When Mike and I first started working out, I was impressed by how clean shaven he is. In the locker room. It looked good.” Tim admitted, “And I thought, I’d look good like that too. And Mike encouraged me.” He looked down immediately, a feeling of shame washing over him, “All the men in my family are hairy though, they say that’s how real men should be. My brother thinks I looked like a sissy.”  

Jeremy nodded, “Grow out your body hair, all good pups are furry.”

And with that Tim let out a moan as an unbearable itchy sensation coursed across his abdomen and chest. Dark hairs began to sprout from his skin, covering his chest, abdomen, arms, legs, and back. His pits filled in with more hair as well, intensifying the smell from his run earlier that day. He looked down at himself, unable to speak. He was so hairy now, more so than his older brother. Maybe even rivaling his dad. He shuddered- wasn’t this okay though? How he should be? This was how it was meant to be for him- just a follower listening and obeying.

“Also, the mask is about 6 years old. That makes you 42 in human years since ya know, dog mask.”

Tim moaned again as he felt a new feeling wash over his 24-year old body. He watched as a firm layer of fat covered his once toned abdomen. His arms and legs were no exception as more fat built up, covering his previously toned muscles. The impact of aging didn’t stop there. Tim felt a new tiredness wash over him and a mild pain in some of his joints. His skin lost its youthful glow and he felt more hair sprout from his chest and abdomen. He was closer in age to his dad now and older than his brother. His older brother... no longer older... Tim smiled, he’d never be called squirt again or bullied by his bro.

“Timmy, I wanted to ask you. Why did you help Michael end it with me?”

Tim shook his head, “You were too overbearing, I wanted my bro back.” Even his voice sounded deeper, more gravely.

“Hmmm... It was because you were jealous. Because deep down you actually had feelings for him, in fact you’ve always wanted to be with men. You’ve only pretended to be straight.”

And Tim felt the wind get knocked out of him. He felt more tears form in his eyes. It was true- all those late night talks with Mike, trying to get closer to him. Staring at him in the locker room, at his beautiful glistening muscles. The way his biceps curled when he lifted, the bulging of his triceps and pecs. The way he smiled and paid attention to him. More thoughts of men crossed through Tim’s mind and he felt his interest in women disappearing- even the girl from across the street. It was true- his family, even Mike, would have never accepted him if he was gay. But now... now he didn’t have to worry. Because Jeremy accepted him... And with that, Tim felt a warmth build up within him and he felt his dick grow erect as he thought more about Mike and the things he wished his friend would do to him.

“No boy, you need to learn to be obedient. No getting hard unless I tell you.”

And suddenly a metal cage wrapped itself around Tim’s erect member. Tim howled as his dick softened and shrunk, losing more inches until his once impressive member was 2 inches soft and maybe 3 hard, if Jeremy ever gave him permission. As the cage sealed itself, a jock strap formed around it. Tim continued to breath heavily, a small whimper coming from his mouth. He was so small now, the pleasure so intense. But he couldn’t do anything about it but accept it. He was a good boy after all.

“Take all that love for Michael and I want you to focus it on me and me alone.”

The pleasure from his dick dwarfed the mental pleasure that erupted within his mind. Tim’s pupils dilated as he looked up at Jeremy, an intense love for the man standing in front of him radiated through his mind. Jeremy was perfect in every way- so handsome and so caring. The way he smiled, the way his body looked in the dim light of the room. There was never a more perfect man that Tim had the pleasure of seeing. And he would do anything for Jeremy. Anything at all. The thought of Mike was now just a distant memory. He tried to push himself to stand so he could hug Jeremy, but found that he was unable to stay steady on his own two feet, always falling back to all-fours.

“And you love me because I keep you well fed.”

“Because you keep me well fed!” Tim replied as his gut pushed out further, now hanging over his jockstrap. Whenever he moved now, his gut would jiggle. A leather harness materialized and wrapped snuggly around his shoulders and chest.

“And because I gave you that mask.” Jeremy continued.

“Recause rou rave re rat rask!” Tim raised an eyebrow. His words sounded different. It was hard to get them out, his tongue felt heavy, “Ry roice? Hard ro ralk! Wruff!” Try as he might, his words wouldn’t leave his tongue.

Jeremy smiled, “Because dumb pups don’t talk because they aren’t thinking too hard.”

And Tim’s eyes widened, before becoming half-lidded. Jeremy was right, always right. So smart. Insightful. He had enough intelligence for the both of them. And he could feel his intelligence draining- years of education locked away. The English language lost to him. Why would he need to think or speak intelligently? He wasn’t supposed to think. Just follow and obey.

“And because I gave you your new name.”

“Wruff wruff!” Tim barked, shaking his butt in the air.

Jeremy smiled, “I think I’ll call you Titan. How does that sound boy?”

Titan looked up with his big eyes, filled with lust and longing, “Bark!” A collar materialized around his neck, tightening until it became fully secured. A lock appeared, securing his new accessory in place. And finally, the name Titan engraved itself into his new collar. He leapt up, hands balanced on Jeremy’s shoulders as he nuzzled into his neck.

“Woah boy! Ha-ha you stink.” Jeremy chuckled, and Titan plopped down to all fours again. Jeremy scratched behind his new pup’s ear and grinned, “Oh Tim, if only you could see yourself now. Definitely an upgrade over Mike.” Titan tilted his head to the side, “You’re going to be my good boy forever.”

Six months had passed since that day and Jeremy yawned as he picked up the newspaper from outside. He chuckled as he read another headline about Tim and his odd disappearance. Not a sight, no leads, nothing. As he walked back inside his apartment, he smirked. There was Titan, his good boy looking up at him and whimpering. His hands up as he begged for a treat.

“Ha-ha damn you’re eager. I’m already drained from earlier this morning.” Jeremy chuckled. Titan whimpered, his eyes filled with lust. And Jeremy looked down at the paper and frowned. They would never know what happened to Tim- hell by this time there’d barely be anything left of Tim anyway. As he looked at his dumb, hairy, horny creation, Jeremy felt new resolve, “Well boy, I ought to take good care you, shouldn’t I?” A mischievous grin formed on his lips. And as he pulled down his pants to expose his erect member, Titan couldn’t help but be the happiest pup in the world.