#who is experiencing these feelings for the first time and just goes overboard with it without intending to

[azurechicken]

Astarion gets cute aggrassion and bites you bites you bites you and you die

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

NSFW Alphabet: Joe Velasco  

I’ve always wanted to do this, and I thought it would be fast and easy but boy was I wrong. I think I went a little overboard, but I enjoyed this, and I would do it again for other characters. WARNING: There is a small mention of SA  

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

Joe is an aftercare king. He has been touched starved most of his life and loves physical contact. He wants to stay in bed and hold you, caress your body, and kiss your skin until your heartrates even out and the sweat from your lovemaking cools. He will run his hands through your hair and whisper sweet words in your ear. You can tell how much he enjoyed the sex by the ratio of English to Spanish. He defaults back to his mother tongue the harder the climax hits which leaves him in a state of superior orgasmic high.  

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s) 

Joe’s favorite body part of his is his arms. He keeps himself in good shape for his job and is proud of the physical effects it has on his body. He likes knowing that he is strong and that if he needs to, he can protect you.    

Joe’s love your body in its entirety. He makes that very clear to you many times over. If you ever had any body issues this man is the cure for them. That said he is definitely a thigh man. Any chance he gets his hands smooth over your thighs, squeezing the tender flesh and muscles there. He loves to slide between your thighs, kissing and sucking bruises into them. When he knows you’ll indulge him he will lay his head on your lap for hours while watching the football game or when he is exhausted from work, take a nap.      

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 

Joe isn’t really concerned with his own cum. He doesn’t have a breeding kink and he has always been rigidly careful with all his sexual partners, always using condoms. It took months into a steady relationship with you and the assurance of birth control to convince him to do it raw. You were shocked to find out that you were the first person he ever had sex without protection with. 

He is, however, obsessed with your arousal. He wants to make sure you are completely soaked. He loves the taste and the feel of it dripping down his chin or thighs depending on the position.  

D = Dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Joe lost his virginity to a girl who was in the gang back in Jaurez that he helped when he was younger. He was only thirteen and the girl was nineteen. It was an awkward experience, and the girl was high on something. Joe doesn’t like to think about it and has never admitted that he hadn’t consented to it. All his friends thought it was so cool that he had been with an older girl, so he never made a big deal out of it.    

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

Joe has experience, mostly with hookups and one-night stands. He had a Casanova phase. The women were fast but warm. He learned a lot about women this way but towards the end, it just left him feeling emotionally empty. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 

Joe’s favorite position is missionary, mating press, or anything position that is face to face. Joe likes to kiss, and he is good with his tongue. He gets quite hypnotized watching your breast bounce. It gives him easy access to suck on your breast or slide his hands between your legs to play with your clit.    

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

Joe is more passionate and serious in bed. But the longer you guys are together and the more intimate you get the more his humor shows. The pillow talk is where he gets more relaxed and jokes around.    

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Joe doesn’t do a full manscape, but he likes to keep his hair trimmed up. But if his life gets busy, he doesn’t think much about it. He is the type of guy that if you requested him to completely shave, would do his best to oblige you.   

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

Joe loves intimacy even if he doesn’t realize it. He likes making his partner feel good and like there is a connection. When he is in a stable relationship the intimacy from him doesn’t just double but triples. He wants to touch you, hold you, finger your hair, share eye contact, and most of all he wants you to know that he sees you and that you see him.   

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

Joe masturbates but not to an extreme. He would much rather wait until he has time to have sex with you. He usually only does it when he is trying to blow off steam or has had a stressful day. He will also take care of himself if he is horny, but you aren’t in the mood to have sex.   

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

Joe has a praise kink and loves to dirty talk. He loves hearing the sounds from your lovemaking. The moans and groans you make, the smack of your bodies meeting, the squelching sounds of wet pussy as he thrusts into you good and hard. A bonus kink of Joe’s is thigh-high stockings, the man goes feral when you wear them. Be warned that you will probably be sporting finger-shaped bruises on your thighs for weeks after.     

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

The bed or couch is the usual go-to for Joe. He likes the comfortability and versatility that they provide for positions and moving around. He has of course christened his entire place with you and has found various other preferences. He likes shower sex but gets tired of the water running cold before he is through with you. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

You. Joe doesn’t need much reason to have sex. A big turn-on for him is when you initiate. There is just something about you wanting him and having no trouble showing it, that has all his blood heading south.   

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Joe is not willing to share. He will never be okay with having another person join in on your sex life.   

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

Joe loves to give oral. If he could eat your pussy every day, he would. He is a pro at it and doesn’t stop until your legs are shaking and you're trying to push him away from being overstimulated. Then he will take his time licking up his mess from your inner thighs. 

Joe always enjoys a good blow job. You on your knees in front of him sucking his cock, tongue licking, spit lubricating the slide he could lose his damn mind. That being said, at the beginning of your relationship he would never ask for one. He had bad experiences with some of the women he was with not enjoying it, giving little to no effort, or complaining. It made it not worth it to him because he wanted to bring his partners pleasure and their obvious distaste for the act was a turnoff for him. He stopped asking and for a long time, none of his hookups offered so he went without. He was shocked and unbelievably turned on by how into you were. He still doesn’t like asking, and you offer often so he doesn’t have to, but he will on occasion now.    

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

Joe is on both sides of his coin. He can be slow and passionate, especially during lazy morning sex. when the mood strikes making you feel every inch of his cock filling you. Whispering praises into your ear and caressing your skin. His default is on the rougher side. He will take you fast and rough, skin slapping against yours. He will take you, make you his, and leave some sort of love bite on your skin to remember him by.  

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

While Joe would prefer to take his time, he enjoys quickies. Life is fast past and busy there is no way of getting around it if you want to steal some time for release in each other. He will also admit that the limited time and having to finish up and act like it never happened adds a sense of urgency and can make the experience hotter.    

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Joe is willing to take some risks. He likes to experiment and is willing to try pretty much anything you request. Working at SVU and what he has seen there are some lines he won’t cross. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 

Joe has a higher stamina. He can drag foreplay and sex out for hours. He will also go multiple rounds if you have the time and energy. The two of you tend to have 24-hour fuck-a-tons after he gets back from undercover assignments leaving you both sore and walking a bit funny for a few days afterward.    

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

No, Joe doesn’t have any toys. He doesn’t see the use for them but would probably use them on you if you asked. He’s more of a restraint guy, he would prefer to cuff or tie you up.  

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

This man is the biggest tease. He will have you so worked up that you will be hating him as much as you love him. You will be shaking and begging him to just take you already. The payoff is more than worth it, the orgasm and the afterglow high are otherworldly.  

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Joe is pretty vocal he will grunt and groan. He likes to talk dirty when he is taking you and gets off on the sounds you guys make when having sex. He can be quiet with the right motivation for doing the deed in more risqué spots.  

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

While Joe doesn’t smoke often anymore, he always has a spare pack of cigarettes in his house and in his motorcycle side bag. He only craves them when his stress level gets too high or when he has had a particularly rough round of sex that releases that stress. He doesn’t like anyone to know and goes to great lengths to cover it when he does. You had found out when he had lit one up while you were supposed to be showering but had come back in to urge Joe to join you. 

He had been sitting on the bed, a cigarette held loosely in his fingers as he blew smoke out the window. His body was relaxed, and he seemed at peace at that moment. He had been embarrassed you had caught him.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Joe is a shower, not a grower. He is a big boy with above average in size cock, about 6.5 to 7 inches long. He is girthy enough that there is a definite stretch when he first enters you but nothing overwhelming.    

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

Joe has an above-average sex drive. He wants to have sex multiple times a week. He also goes through phases where he wants to spend days in the bedroom, inside of you. It does occasionally dip with bad cases at work or when his personal life feels out of control.  

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Joe tries to stay awake after, but he usually ends up falling asleep quickly. It’s hard for him not to when he is riding the high from his orgasm and your soft body is tucked into his. You can try to sneak out of bed to use the bathroom or grab a glass of water, but you will wake him. Joe is a light sleeper.  

Another one is done! I have been loving writing again. I think I might branch out and do some other SVU characters too. I started rewatching season 13 and I forgot how much I loved Nick Amaro- I'm not ashamed to admit I have it bad for Latino men! So anyways I have a few ideas for him too. I love Barba and Carisi too, but I think I would struggle writing for them. If you want me to attempt just let me know along with any request.

[moodywyrm]

Okay okay can we talk about vi and periods?

I feel like hers are bad, but she’s always just pushed through them, she didn’t want to seem vulnerable or like a wimp since it happens every month. She tries to just ignore it, but once you get in the picture? You just want to take care of her. She’s hesitant at first, learning not to get attached, not to get used to intimacy, but once you finally break those walls down (it really didn’t take long, she’s desperate for affection), she absolutely melts. She lets you hold her, rubbing her stomach, if modern!AU you’d get her a heating pad while she lays with her head in your lap, whining every time you stop playing with her hair. She’s such a softie, she loves when you take care of her

For you, I feel like she’s such a natural caretaker with the people she loves, she’d immediately jump at the opportunity to do all the stuff you do for her, to you. She hates seeing you in any kind of pain, so she’s goes almost a little overboard making sure you’re feeling okay

I've been staring at this for days bc oh my god. Yes.

Vi was the leader of her little family, right under Vander. She literally Could Not show weakness because if she does, who are the others supposed to depend on? So when she started getting her period (at like 14), she learned real fast how to hide the pain of her Debilitating periods. You think it was hard hiding the pain from getting into fights in Zaun? Try concealing a vomit-inducing cramps, achy joints, pounding headaches, a lower back that feels like it's being yanked between two trucks, and boobs so sore a gust of wind makes you cry on top of it.

She got so used to being the caretaker that she didn't even hesitate when you two finally got together. She just immediately fell into the role whenever you got yours, cuddling you and feeding you your favorite foods, helping you bathe and pampering you however she can (However She Can. Baby ain't afraid of blood).

But you had known that she experienced really bad periods. You'd been friends for ages before you got together and you, loving her and being in love with her, caught on to her little winces, her slower gait, her extra caution for about one week a month. And you knew she was good at hiding pain, and you also knew she wouldn't let you take care of her just yet (you also didn't want to reveal your feelings just yet but that's neither here nor there).

But a month or two before you get together, she get's an awful fucking period. I'm talking baby woke up and bled through her clothes and also immediately vomited. You two already lived together, so when you heard her scramble out of her room at 2am, you're up and in the bathroom with her immediately.

You kneel down next to her on the bathroom floor, rubbing circles at her back and using one hand to keep her overgrown pixie cut out of her face,"It's okay, let it out."

And she does :( sweet girl is stuck over the toilet for another five minutes before she finally leans back against the edge of the tub, panting and wiping her mouth with the wet napkin you handed her. You immediately spot the mess of red on her grey sweats, and you wince.

"Oh honey, it's an extra bad one this time huh? Get those off, I'll bring you a change of clothes, just get in the shower," You're already hauling yourself up off the floor, constructing a mental checklist to help Vi feel better.

Get her clean clothes and a warm shower

In the meantime, change her bedding and soak in cold water. same with her sweats and underwear. Don't think about the fact that it's her underwear.

Get her something fatty and warm to eat, like a little bit of Jericho leftovers, and then give her pain meds and water.

??? Hol dher??? May Be??? If she lets you???

before you can even leave the bathroom, Vi is holding onto your leg with one warm hand.

"You don't have to do that pumpkin, I can handle it myself. Just go back to sleep."

But you can see the way she's cracking, nearly immobilized from the pain. She can't do this by herself, or she shouldn't have to. So you shush her and set upon your tasks, bringing her one of your t-shirts and a pair of her sweats plus some clean boxers, stripping her bed and bringing it to the bathroom sink to rinse it off in cold water.

It makes Vi feel better, to know you're so close. She's embarrassed because here is this beautiful, caring girl, sleep deprived and washing Vi's blood out of Vi's things. But she also feels ... good? Not physically, obviously, but there's something so nice about being taken care of. You're always doing that for her, taking care of her. Making sure she has breakfast and water, patching her up after fights, helping her clean up and repair her gauntlets.

It's only then that she realizes, I mean fully realizes, how much she wants to be with you. She loves taking care of you, but she also likes being taken care of by you. She like that she's allowed to let her guard down around you.

It hits her while she's showering, while she's getting dressed, when she meets you on the couch, when you're helping her eat and rubbing her back and her tummy to make sure she doesn't vomit again. She falls asleep in your arms, on your guys' couch, thinking about how much she wants to be with you.

It's no surprise that, not even two months later, she's yanking you into your apartment with a bruising kiss after winning a massive fight. You're her girl, her good luck charm, the one who takes care of her.

I have to leave for class in 26 min and I still have to do my makeup oh god oh fuck AH

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Maybe, princess bubblegum (adventure time) relationship headcanons?

Sorry for the long wait!

PB relationship headcannons

Tags: Princess Bubblegum x fem!reader, cute science girlfriends, I love PB so much help, but I still didn't edit it through so sorry for any mistakes

Author's note: I srsly need to write more stuff for PB, I love her sm (,:

Word count: 1,3k

To be honest, I think it would be kinda hard to date her

Not bc she’s a bad partner or anything, but bc she’s literally busy all the time

Either with the kingdom or doing some wack experiments

Since you started dating tho, she’s been involving you more and more in said experiments 

She would never do anything to hurt you dw, but your hair might accidentally turn green for a week or something

She’s actually so invested in the relationship tho, like she even reads books on how to be a better partner and communicate lol

She’s so cute <3

Even before you got together she was studying you

Not in a creepy way I promise-

First she was confused bc you always made her feel funny, lightheaded, sweaty palms, increased heartbeat ect.

She somehow chugged it up to you being radioactive or her being allergic to something you wore

Dude Marceline laughed so much at her when she told her that

I feel like even Finn would end up saying something

Like it’s so obvious from her behaviour that she likes you, she just refuses to acknowledge it 

She invites you over so often that you end up having your own room at the castle

She gets so happy that you’re invested in her projects as well, she will call you at literally any time to tell you something cool she has figured out

Omg the two of you are literally the stupidest smart people ever

I kid you not, before you started dating she sat you down to report her status on the tests she had run on you

And none of you realised it was just normal symptoms of being in love lmfao

“So, Y/n,” Bonnie said, adjusting her glasses. “The multitude of tests I have run on you all came back negative, but what is highly unusual is that you seem to be experiencing the same symptoms as me..” She trailed off, looking down at her clipboard with furrowed brows

You frowned. “That’s weird. Finn is human too but you’re not allergic to him, right? Could it be my shampoo or something?” 

She shook her head, pursing her lips. “Hah. I dunno. You don’t have this reaction to any other citizens of the candy kingdom, correct?” 

You shook your head, as deep in thought as her

It would suck if you were somehow allergic to each other, you loved spending time with Bonnie more than anything and you were sure she liked spending time with you as well

You both eventually realised that you like each other when cinnamon bun of all people yelled at you to get your act together and date already ^^

Both of you were so embarrassed lol, especially PB bc she’s supposed to be the smart one 

Of course you started dating soon after that, but that didn’t stop Bonnibel from conducting more tests on you

Well-meaning tests tho

The candy citizens are over the moon that you’re dating, they’re so invested in your relationship lol

It’s sweet, but gets suffocating pretty quick

Luckily, Bonnie has a lot of hiding places the two of you can hang in

Your favourite is her private garden

The two of you spent hours in there reading

Mostly she reads to you while you rest your head on her lap, when she’s tired though you read to her

The only one who disturbs you in the garden is peppermint butler, he only comes in to bring you tea and cake tho

I can go on forever about this, but Bonnibel cherishes you so much

Sometimes she goes a bit overboard tho

You gently have to remind her that your relationship is not a mathematical equation and that you’re not one of her test-subjects but actually her girlfriend

She gets so embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands and blushing madly when she realises she has gone too far

It’s nothing some kind reassuring and kisses can’t fix tho

The only downside to a relationship with PB is her tendency to get so invested in something she neglects anything else

When she does this she can also get pretty cranky, she might yell at you or insult you if you try to pull her away from whatever project she’s invested in

She never truly means it tho and she honestly feels like crap if she’s made you cry or caused a fight between you

She’s pretty stubborn tho, so it might take a while for her to come and apologise

But in the end, she never fails to make it up to you

On another topic, she loves to show your relationship off

If you’re not the type to normally dress pink and girly, she loves to dress you up for formal events

Even if you hate the outfit, her giddy smiles and compliments are enough to make you begrudgingly deal with it 

But if you are the type who loves to dress up, she’s even more ecstatic

She would actually love it if you’re better at makeup than her, so she can ask you to do hers 

She’s so happy to finally have someone to drag to the formal events as well

I mean, she made peppermint butler go before, but she enjoys your company a lot more 

She has made you ‘honourary ruler’ of the kingdom, just so she had a proper reason to take you along

The princess’ girlfriend was not fancy enough to be accepted by the older leaders

Finn probably thinks you’re the coolest couple ever, after he got over his jealousy that is 

Claims he wants a relationship like yours one day, it’s really flattering tbh

On the topic of jealousy, the princess has many, many, many pursuers

None of them which she is interested in tho, but it still stings a bit to watch them all waiting outside your castle

Kinda like they didn’t expect your relationship to last long or something 

You told her this and she brushed it off rather quickly, bc this is something she’s so used to she doesn’t really understand how it can make you feel

If you sit her down and properly tell her your feelings though, she will be much more willing to take it seriously

She hates when something upsets you, even if it’s a thing she finds super trivial

If you end up fighting though, Jake gives the best relationship advice

Or Marceline, depending if you want the more ruthless version 

Finn probably refers to you as ‘the cool science gf’s’

He’s always down to help whenever Bonnie gets kidnapped by ice king, since he’s a more experienced fighter

He also just likes to laugh in ice king's face and tell him that the princess is already in a loving relationship

Omg but after so many times of PB being kidnapped, you find that it’s actually quite easy to rescue her yourself

Ice king is very easily distracted 0_0

She always kisses you as a reward for saving her, so cute <3 

Lol everyone knows not to bother you when you’re discussing experiments with Bonnibel, not daring to get involved in the complex mystery of whatever she’s studying at the moment 

She really appreciates that you’re able to go into ‘deep science mode’ with her and discuss her theory’s for hours

It doesn’t matter if you actually have something smart to say, just that you’re willing to listen

Pls she does so much to make it a healthy and sustainable relationship, even if she seems to treat it like a science experiment at times she really does mean well

She will give it her all if you’re willing to do that as well

She’s actually pretty mature about relationship stuff like that

Bonnie is just so happy to have someone to nerd around with <3

HI! Ty for reading <3 Pls lemme know if you want me to put in a break (the keep reading thing) for easier access and reblog bc I normally only do it in my long works^^ Love, author

[altschmerzes]

For the WIP ask game: Can’t Grow A Proper Branch?🤔

(It was so hard to choose; i’ll definitely be anticipating several of these)

YES OKAY I LOVE THIS ONE. i really wanna dive back into it. it's a 9-1-1 5+1 that i started a long time ago about the 118 realizing that buck's history/family is. Not Good. and so it's five times someone on the 118 (or adjacent to it) got a piece of the puzzle that indicated buck had experienced some Bad Stuff when he was younger and one time he just outright Told Someone what happened.

the first five chapters go bobby -> hen -> chim -> eddie -> may -> +1 (which is bobby and athena both). so they each get a Clue that something's up from the way he reacts to something or something he says, and then the +1 is one where after the lawsuit arc he feels like everything is still messed up and wrong and it's His Fault so he goes to bobby and asks if it'll fix things if he lets bobby just hit him to get it over with. that he knows bobby is a good person, so he won't go overboard, and it'll be fine because he's an adult and he was wrong and if this is how he has to clean the slate then he'll do it.

which is obviously uh. both bobby and athena standing there like pardon me. it's a complicated situation but it's a concept i'm a little insane about tbh - character who thinks something has gone wrong and it's their fault, and that telling someone 'you can hit me for it, i won't do anything to stop you or anything' might Fix This problem. it's a very specific scenario that i'm a little nuts about lmao.

anyways. so they get that sorted and. boy! here's a clip from chapter one, bobby's chapter, which is early on:

When Buck asks about the notebook, Bobby feels the walls constrict. He’s taken the plan and built it up to keep everyone else away and out and when one of them asks about the book, it’s like he can feel their interest and their intentions slam up against those barriers, rattling the foundation of the placeholder half-life he’s built. If any of them manage to break through then everything that’s outside will come rushing in, and everything inside will rush out to meet it. Bobby’s worlds will slam into each other and all of these people - these good, loyal, devoted people who seem to want to know him so badly - will see him for what he really is. A fugitive from his own sins. A tin man. Carefully constructed false front architecture barely covering up the fact that he’s hollow inside.

[the-type-a]

What’re you headcanons for their (duncney’s) family situations? Is Courtney an overachieving only child? Is Duncan acting out because of middle child syndrome? Or is he youngest of four brothers? Or is Courtney Responsible Eldest Daughter?

Ooo I have some random little ones!

I’ll start with Courtney’s family

Up until Dramarama I always hc’d Courtney being an on child. But if she were to truly have a sibling, Courtney would 100% be the oldest. I don’t really have a preference with this tbh.

Courtney’s family is very traditional. They teach her how to speak Spanish so early that she actually speaks it before English.

Her parents were the type to read her stories and allow almost no screen time while growing up. She maybe got around it when she started first grade, but up until then? Nope. It was books and the occasional instrumental pieces as background noise.

Courtney’s family knows everything about everyone. It’s kind of neat while she’s younger but once she’s old enough to make her own mistakes (like normal kids) it’s like gossip within the family.

Courtney’s parents are so overprotective that they shelter her from experiencing a lot of normal things. Like going to your first sleep over, going to the movies on the weekends, probably some school dances, etc.

IF Courtney is allowed to go out with friends it’s only for that day and she better not ask to see them the following day or the following week because “she just went out.”

When she gets to high school she purposely joins all these clubs so she can be out of her house. But of course they have to highly respectable ones because her parents will be attending any debate, or recital.

Grades? Oh her parents are making sure she never comes home with anything less than an A. It helps her when applying to colleges but at what cost? Then when she’s finally at college she has the option to opt her parents from seeing her grades and it’s like a weight lifted off her.

No matter how old she gets she needs to respect her elders. They could be so so wrong or plain disrespectful but she has to force a smile at them.

Along with no matter how old she gets, she constantly feels like she has to ask her parents permission for just about anything. She could be moved out and 23 and still calls them to see if she should sign for this new car or whatever.

Courtney is expected to join the family every Sunday at church. Sick? Bring some tissues.

Now some for Duncan’s family

Idc what anyone says, Duncan is the middle child 100% He has two older brothers and two younger ones. It’s only natural for him to act out because one, attention and two, he’s bored af.

His parents aren’t super strict with any of them because “boys will be boys”. They also allowed friends to come over basically whenever.

Growing up he gets into petty trouble with his brothers but it’s not until he’s a teenager that he goes overboard.

At this point his brothers have chilled out, but not Duncan. His parents really try to buckle him down but it never works. They’ve sent him to therapy and all.

This is when his rocky relationship with his father begins. He’s just so tired of having to pick his son up at his own job.

Duncan’s family is so big yet he feels completely alone. The only people he truly thinks cares for him are his mom and nonna.

Growing up they went on yearly family trips. It was always fun and Duncan was allowed to bring a few friends. As he gets older this changes and he just refuses to be around his family.

His nonna teaches him how to speak Italian and he’s really the only grandson who can and actually speaks it with other older family members. His family might have a thing or two to say about his behavior but they can never say he doesn’t love his background.

School sucks. Everyone knows his family basically run the police station. And speaking of school, Duncan never fails a test. He may fall asleep in class, not participate, or just not show up at all— but he’s smart.

There’s a family rule, or really a dad rule, that if you’re 18 and graduated you have to leave the house or pay rent.

At one point Duncan’s window had bars because he kept sneaking out.

[sapphos-darlings]

do you have any advice for getting over the need for male validation? im a lesbian but ive found myself seeking it out and its making me doubt myself alot

Hello, Anon!

You bring us a big topic! Unfortunately being a lesbian only protects us so far, since in the end all women are raised in a patriarchal society which inevitably influences our values and psyche. Goes to show that we are all in the same boat in the end, so solidarity between women is priceless.

Now, the upside is I think for a large part the road to growth with this is the same as with anyone who wants to be more self-reliant and less of a people-pleaser. Of course understanding that you are a woman and a lesbian provide important information about why you feel the way you do and where those patterns have come from, and also guide you forward, but you shouldn't be looking into too specific advice or resources either. For example, you may not have one specific trauma that's the root of this, just growing up as a woman and a lesbian, so don't think you don't deserve to be taken seriously, and you being a lesbian is something to be valued and protected and not traded for worthless male approval points.

Remember first and foremost that confidence and self-esteem are learned. They are skills that you can train and build for yourself, and like with any skill training might be hard, uncomfortable, and there will be setbacks, but it's all a part of a longer journey where improvement is inevitable.

Basically, untangle the whats and whys of the challenge, then figure out the hows and whys of your change and go for it.

Map out the reasons why. Do it with a journal or a group of trusted friends or a women's group. Why are you behaving like you do, where do these feelings come from and what need do they serve? What are you looking for? Then map out the reasons why you want to change. Why do you want to be more self-reliant, what do you (and people dear to you!) get if you become less reliant on male approval? How would your life change?

Then you need a plan. Don't go overboard, either with things to do or expectations on yourself or the time it takes. Every step taken is a step forward, no matter how small, and improving mentally can be tougher than anticipated.

Maybe you want to start learning what are the situations that make you crave male validation the most. What makes you uncertain? Why? Being aware in those situations and holding yourself back is a worthy goal.

Confident people tolerate discomfort and place the responsibility where it belongs. Not feeling uncertain doesn't have to be the goal, but tolerating that and remaining calm in the face of it. Realize that your approval-seeking isn't based on reason like asking for someone more experienced for advice, but on an emotional craving. Stay on task, sit with your discomfort and let other people be responsible for their own thoughts and feelings.

Train yourself to do positive self-talk. Soothe yourself, reassure yourself, trust yourself, reason with yourself. You are the person you want the approval of, you are in control of your choices, and you need to work with yourself. Improving your relationship with yourself will ribble across all your life and affect everything for the better.

Take the male off the pedestal. What the hell is he doing there and how did he get there? What merits does he stand on? What use is he? Who even brought that pedestal for him to stand on? Nah, let's get rid of that whole thing, it's all mirrors and smoke, idolization and cultural biases.

Lean on your female friends! You are not alone. Even the most confident and powerful woman is just a person who's had moments of uncertainity. There are women and girls who look up to you too, I'm sure. There is a lot to be gained from friendship among women, where we rely on each other and build trust. Never underestimate the power of just having fun and letting loose every once in a while.

I really recommend journaling. It helps you keep track of your goals and progress as well as gives you a private outlet. It's also good to sometimes look back at your weaker moments or times you've failed and see the feelings from then with a calmer mindset.

I wish strength and success on your journey to you!

-Lavender

[gbfmi1]

Donnie Darko, as a person

I wanted to share a bit about one of my favorite pieces of comfort media, a movie that means a lot to me. Donnie Darko is a great movie on its own, though some (everyone) may find the plot confusing because of its depth and references. I wanted to specifically explore the character of Donnie Darko, who represents an amazing portrayal of the struggle to be understood as a mentally ill individual.

Neurodivergent brains are not a monolith. I use that term as a catch-all for schizophrenia, autism, bipolar disorder, ADHD, depression, etc., as Donnie displays some symptoms of all of these. I write solely from my own perspective, this is just my personal headcanon; media is extremely complicated and encourages multiple understandings.

Donnie experiences delusions, and is neurodivergent and/or mentally ill. It's only very rarely that you see a character with such taboo mental issues such as paranoid delusions, explored with such depth and empathy in film, and to have this character be a protagonist is even rarer. Through the movie, he attempts to wrestle control over his own life, fighting with his mind, unsure which threats are real and which are imagined. For those of us who are neurodivergent, especially if you experience delusions, or if your issues aren't easily categorizable, I think we'll find Donnie's struggles very relatable.

There's a number of things that make Donnie a sympathetic character, and an accurate if unfortunate representation of what it's like to be mentally ill in an environment that doesn't understand or accommodate you.

Donnie is seen as a prodigy, but one who is wasting his talent. This will definitely resonate with those who have "Gifted Kid Burnout Syndrome". Another point of frustration comes when Donnie begins to notice patterns and significant events in his life, which seem to be much more than coincidence. However when he tries to share his findings with others, they reject these ideas for being illogical. (Of course it's illogical, that's why he's asking for help understanding these contradictions). His neurodivergent brain is going overboard with pattern recognition, this exact ability that's allowed him to become such a prodigy, yet his ideas that don't fall into the format of standardized tests are dismissed as being too weird. According to the authority figures in his life, Donnie is a genius, up until he begins to question that authority.

As teenagers, especially when mental illness is clouding our reason, issues in our lives can feel like the end of the world (only in the case of this movie it literally is the end of the world). It's our first time experiencing them, and we're often given little direction. Donnie is frustrated in the movie because the various authority figures that might be able to give him guidance brush off his troubles as personal failings. He's accused of being "a prisoner of fear", as if it were his choice to be like this. In fact, the toxic positivity given by the motivational speaker goes against what Donnie wants and needs: for his problem to be acknowledged. This black-and-white self-help schlock is (barely) a parody of real life advice many of us have been told. It states that the onus of diagnosing the problem, of finding the solution, and carrying out the treatment, is on the child and not the adult.

Donnie understands from before the beginning of the movie that he experiences delusions and that some of his emotional reactions are "irrational". However as the movie progresses and Donnie begins to feel increased pressure, he's less and less able to "mask" his true feelings. Donnie feels that, by failing his role in the traditional family unit and his social role, he's a burden to those around him. Because he is supposedly choosing to be this way, and because his nature is seen by society as disturbing and undesirable, he is made to feel shame simply for existing.

Despite understanding that the self-help guru pervert's advice is garbage, Donnie still internalizes the idea that his mental illness is something to be fixed like a broken machine, instead of understood and treated. The "grand mystery" Frank has sent Donnie on a quest to solve can also be seen as Donnie's desire to "solve" his weirdness. He feels that, in order to be accepted, he has to find the solution the thing that divides him from society, when in reality the solution he's searching for is comfort and understanding from loved ones. For his issues to be taken seriously.

Donnie is caught in a unique sort of trap, caught between his own needs and the wills of those around him. His family does genuinely care about and love him, but doesn't make a tremendous effort to understand him. Donnie tries asking for help multiple times, but he's not even capable of understanding the issue (after all, how can he trust his own perception to tell him how his perception is warped?) much less articulating what the problem is. He realizes that he can't talk about his issues directly with words, and so resorts to expressing himself using poetry and art. When others see his expressions, he's either disregarded as absurd, or met with confusion and fear. More specifically, Donnie's family and friends are afraid of him. His feelings aren't easily understood by outsiders, and this fear of the unknown causes them to treat him like a danger, rather than working with him to help explore his unknown. But he needs to express himself in order to ask for help, even to feel human connection! The trap Donnie's stuck in is the double bind: he has to express himself in order to ask for help, but he also has to not act "crazy" or "weird" so he won't push his friends and family further away. As a result of this, despite Donnie having plenty of social interaction with his friends and family (even being well known at school), he feels incredibly isolated, and alone. Despite being given emotional support, it's done at a distance; his delusions are shocking and scary to outsiders and so are avoided being referenced directly. The only characters who treat the presence of Frank as more than a dream or a joke are Donnie's therapist and his English teacher. Despite the tragic end to it, his friends loyally go with him to Grandma Death's house. While he may be in the throes of a delusion, these characters understand that his feelings are real.

Donnie understands from before the beginning of the movie that he experiences delusions and that some of his emotional reactions are "irrational". However as the movie progresses and Donnie begins to feel increased pressure, he's less and less able to "mask" his true feelings. Donnie feels that, by failing his role in the traditional family unit and his social role, he's a burden to those around him.

As teenagers, especially when mental illness is clouding our reason, issues in our lives can feel like the end of the world (only in the case of this movie it literally is the end of the world). It's our first time experiencing them, and we're often given little direction. Donnie is frustrated in the movie because the various authority figures that might be able to give him guidance brush off his troubles as personal failings. He's accused of being "a prisoner of fear", as if it were his choice to be like this. In fact, the toxic positivity given by the motivational speaker goes against what Donnie wants and needs: for his problem to be acknowledged. This black-and-white self-help schlock is (barely) a parody of real life advice many of us have been told. It states that the onus of diagnosing the problem, of finding the solution, and carrying out the treatment, is on the child and not the adult.

He, and I cannot fucking stress this enough, just like me fr.

I feel glad that I can show people my own six foot tall bunny rabbit, and I hope that by doing this I can gain some understanding of my own.

[nosignalformiles]

Jay - Hospitals and why he avoids them like the plague

This was originally at the END of the headcanon ramble, but this is like, honestly the most important part that might ever come up in an RP, so the part I’d actually want folks to read.

This is why Jay hates hospitals. It’s why he’d sooner stay in pain, sooner trust some back alley surgeon or a friend of a friend who’s training to be a vet nurse, than he would an actual medical professional. That trust is gone.

He is scared of hospitals. He won't act it. But he is.

He learned to clean up and deal with a lot of injuries himself, keeps a pretty complete first aid kit on his bike, and almost always has painkillers on hand. It’s basically put up a huge barrier between him and recovery.

While rare, Jay has experienced psychosis as part of his BPD. Far more common for him to go through manic periods of increased risk taking and confidence, though. The biggest tell with him when it’s not that, is that there’s an added jittery-ness. Twitchy like he’s on something when he’s not. Usually it’s audio hallucinations and paranoia, but there have been lights and sensitivity as well. It is very rare for him, and it’s not something I have ANY interest in RPing. He might have freak outs from substance use, but not psychosis related hallucinations. 

Related to this. Jay used to end up in the ER all the time, he’d get injured in stupid and avoidable ways, or he’d have a bad reaction to whatever he took, mixed with whatever else he took.

Three out of those many times, a nurse or a doctor saw something else. Three times, he’s been put in an involuntary hold at an inpatient facility. The nature of his time there, and how it reacted and worked For Him, was medically traumatizing. These can be useful and necessary resources for mental health, but they don’t help everyone, and Jay has never been in a place to actually Get anything but trauma out of them. It was scary. Isolating. Disorienting. It stripped away his ability to feel like himself.

This is, again, not something I want to RP. The inpatient facility part, him in hospitals in general, and the fear - yeah, that’s cool. But given it’s one of the major things that’s hurt him as an adult, he will very, very, rarely - if ever - bring it up. Even if they go to a hospital, even if he has a panic attack, or intentionally goes a bit overboard, he’s not bringing it up outside of dire circumstances. I might mention it as part of internal narrative, but that’s it.

Will also say, while I’m not interested in RPing this stuff, talking about it during plotting or headcanon stuff is cool, it’s an important aspect of his character and how he experiences things, they’re just not scenarios i want to keep writing long form.

[something-about-sunflowers]

I just KEEP seeing the take that Stede happily burned down a ship while being upset to hear Ed did the same and. Yall. Besties.

Thats not what happened.

We'll start at the beginning I guess?

Stede has no actual problem with killing. He doesn't. He has a trauma response to the crew's excessive violence because it calls back to his father insisting he was weak for not wanting to watch (or participate in?) him butchering small animals. (More on Stede’s views on violence in a minute!)

When he kills Badminton (And he does. It's unintentional but his intentional actions directly result in Nigel's death. That's manslaughter at least and Stede is still at fault) his freak out is directly linked to the trauma he received as a child watching his father kill/butcher small animals. They juxtapose these scenes for a reason. And his being 'haunted' isn't even over the guilt of killing Nigel either! They say this! Explicitly! Textually! ('Do you feel badly that this man is dead?' 'No, I don't.') Stede is aware that he is responsible for the man's death and he doesn't feel bad about it. His guilt is over his abandoning his family, which Nigel brought up. Nigel brought up Stede’s past and his family and that is why Nigel is haunting Stede.

Now, as far as Stede’s views on violence? He doesn't actually mind it! It initially reminded him of his trauma from his father but we see later that this isn't the case as the show progresses. When they're learning how to raid his only comments are to 'Note the gusto!' and to point out how clever it is that they don't waste any potential riches (by way of pulling out a dead man's gold teeth). The next time we see him show any kind of reaction beyond 'fascinated glee' is when Ed is threatening someone (or ordering to have them skinned with a snail fork).

Now, there's A Lot to unpack with this. I certainly won't say my interpretation of this is going to be the 'right' one but this is how I see it:

1. His initial impression of Ed is that he's friendly, gentle even, and clever. These are the first instances of violence he's seeing from him and honestly? I think he's turned on by it and he's trying to come to terms with that since it's not something he's experienced before. He's not horrified at Ed, he's horrified at himself. Again, he did not have these reactions to any of the rest of Ed's crew committing acts of violence, just Ed. Who he is attracted to.

2. This could potentially be read as me contradicting myself wrt my first point but I don't necessarily think they're mutually exclusive points: He is shocked that the man who told him he was 'thinking of packing it all in' and that this way of life was 'a bit of a grind' can still be capable of this much violent enthusiasm. He's trying to reconcile 'You ever feel trapped? Like you're just treading water, waiting to drown?' With 'Next one goes through your fuckin eyeball!' And 'Lash him to something very heavy and throw him overboard (. . .) skin him first, use the snail fork.' Especially when his own response to that same feeling was to shut down and to run away.

So. Stede doesn't actually have a problem with physical violence. He enjoys it, even. Especially when used in response to the kind of violence he'd see in his old world: passive aggression. He wanted to hurt Badminton. He enjoyed that moment right up until the sword went through his eye and he was reminded, again, of his trauma. He happily watches a ship full of people burn down because they hurt Ed with their violence. (And here we see Ed with a very similar expression to Stede’s when he was trying to reconcile with Ed's violence. It's not the act, it's who's doing it and why.) Stede isn't stupid, he knows he killed those people but he doesn't care because he enjoys violence and they deserved it.

(Sidenote, re: the snake: Both Stede and Lucius were disturbed by that because it was an incredible overreaction brought on by his growing frustration. It's kind of an outlier in all this.)

Now. Stede’s reaction to everything re: Calico Jack is, first and foremost, fueled by jealousy and an intense dislike of Jack as a person. His first introduction to the man is he and Ed carelessly destroying Stede’s things and, of the two, only Ed shows genuine remorse. Stede knows what fake remorse looks like and Calico Jack is not a subtle man by any means. Jack then continues to insult him, passive aggressively, 'real pirates, not like these store bought types' while looking directly at Stede, again, not a subtle man. Stede responds in kind because he is picking up what Jack is laying down, his own brand of violence.

They then go on to enjoy violence directed at small animals. Stede doesn't have a trauma response to this but he's obviously uncomfortable because they are small animals. (He does take issue with violence where he views it as 'undeserved', small animals, children, etc) He doesn't freak out though, he removes himself from the situation and when prompted gives an explanation it's 'just mean'. When he tells Ed 'I don't like who you are around this guy' it's because Ed isn't mean but when he's with Jack he enables and engages in Jack being mean.

So. Stede doesn't like Jack, doesn't like his brand of violence because it's mean.

Stede still has no problem with his or Ed’s brand of violence. His reaction to Jack's story of Ed burning down a ship is because he thinks one of them is lying. His tone when he says 'I thought you'd given up the killing' isn't shock at a violent act it's 'did you lie to me?' He doesn't like or trust Jack and so he is asking Ed to explain or refute it. And Ed does explain. And Stede drops it.

Ed gives an explanation that tells Stede he didn't lie to him (He told him he hasn't killed 'directly' since the first time, and again, Stede isn't stupid, he'd understand that Ed would have a looser definition of 'directly than he does) and Stede accepts it. He also sees Ed is uncomfortable with the conversation and instead of pressing the issue he let's it go when he gets the explanation he needs.

Stede is indeed a bizarre little man but he's really not as much of a contradiction as people would like to think.

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

Hi idk if you’ve ever done a nsfw alphabet with brett but if you have could you do one for perish if you write for him idk if you do or not I’m kinda new here so I don’t know much

pairing: jordan parrish x fem!reader

warnings: smut → NSFW alphabet

headcanon 🖤

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

smut night has finished for the week - thanks for participating!

requests are open🖤

request guidelines✨

🌻masterlist🌻

smut night masterlist 💦

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jordan is literally the softest person in Beacon Hills

so you can expect the aftercare to the most softest, cutest thing ever

he'd so so caring and tender to your body

would run you baths, take your pain away

literally would be so soft

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

your lips!

he loves kissing them every chance he gets

would love feeling them graze over his chest and stomach, and especially his cock

would love how they fall agape as you let out moans

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i think parrish is someone who doesn't expect you to cum all the time - some people can't and he understands that

though when it happens, it fills him with such pride bc he did that to you

he would try and get you to cum, but wouldn't push it if you can't

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

honestly i think that because his senses are heightened, it would drive him feral when he can smell the arousal on you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

since he is a bit older, i'd say he's had his fair share of experience with different women

though this makes him a better lover though bc he understands that everyone and their bodies are different, so what might feel good for one partner might not feel good for another

in that respect, he's very quick to learn what you like and don't like

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

both of you sitting of your knees as he fucks you from behind

its just so intimate to him and he and hold you tight against him

also gives him easy access to your breasts and clit lol

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i think talking is part of his charm

and honestly one of the best types of sex are when you're both giggling and having such a good time together

like it's not much, but it makes such a difference when you compare your own previous partners

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

that man is groomed to the max

i think parrish is a person who really cares about how he looks, especially when it comes to body hair - i mean have you seen his freshly shaven face ahaha

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

super super cute!!

parrish always wears his heart on his sleeve and would take extra precautions when trying a new position, stopping periodically to ask if you're okay

he'd be so cute during your first time together as a couple too!

i mean going all out - rose petals scattered all over the apartment that lead to the bedroom and was all over the bed, candles, soft music in the background

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Parrish would only jack off when he's been away from you for a while and knows he's not going to be able to visit you anytime soon

you'd both be into phone sex which i think keeps the intimacy alive too

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

would 100% have a praise kink for either one of you - would love praising and being praised

fucking in his uniform

a little bit of dry humping too lol

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the shared bedroom

couch

kitchen

anywhere in the house honestly

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

omg when you're so good to him - like taking care of him when he's had a rough day at work or dealing with hellhound/general supernatural stuff

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

probably anal tbh

no intense kinks for parrish - i think he believes sex is between two people and not with toys lol

parrish isn't into public sex - like i said, he loves the intimacy of just you two so having someone walk in would totally ruin the moment

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Parrish loves going down on you - having you pull his hair, whimper praises and soft curses

he loves treating you like royalty and giving you all that you deserve

but my god he loves when you go down on him too

the way your lips wrap around his cock makes his eyes roll in the utmost pleasure

he'd cum pretty quickly too - you'd simply feel too good

especially when you deep throat him lol

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think he's more slow and sensual

like i said before, parrish loves taking his time with you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not really actually

parrish likes to take his time with you

i think the only exception would be before work for either one of you lol

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and no

yes in different positions and power balances

but no with toys with any overboard kinks really

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think it's about 1-2 rounds, depending on how much you can take

he could go for more, but he doesn't want to hurt you so he keeps it at a reasonable number of rounds lmao

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

probably not tbh

i think sex with parrish is more about the two of you rather than with toys - he likes the one to get you off

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I think he can be a tease sometimes, especially when it's been awhile since the last time you guys had sex

like i said, he loves taking his time with you and that can mean teasing the hell out of you sometimes

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

You know what, I think Parrish is really vocal

I don't think he'd be quite even from the beginning and it's his way of letting you know that he's enjoying it - especially when you give him head

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Seeing you in lingerie he's just like :o

he wouldn't have a preference as to what type - literally anything you wear would be perfect

but if he had to pick at least one of your lingerie sets, it would definitely have to be a body suit

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

average length but girthy ya know

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Parrish is a busy guy and he's having to pay attention to so many things from his work to the supernatural world

but 😗☝🏻

when you're around, his attention is on you lol

i don't think you'd have sex pretty often so i suppose just average?? idk

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

pretty quickly aahah

i think he'd exhaust his energy and cuddle into you

it wouldn't take long for his eyes to fall heavy and eventually fall into a deep sleep lol

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Waking Comfort (Bela Dimitrescu/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language, brief violence (in a flashback), implied/referenced trauma (unspecified) Warnings: N/A Summary: Unable to sleep on a cold day, Bela Dimitrescu tries to find comfort in her favorite servant... only to end up being the one doing the comforting. Notes: This is super self indulgent, because my dreams have been murdering me recently. Reader is a selective mute/partially nonverbal, implied neurodivergent (unspecified), gender neutral but written with a non-binary person in mind, with non-specific past trauma. Basically this is somewhat of a self-insert fic but I've smudged some lines to make it more relatable for other people.

----------------

In the early hours of the day, when the sun had yet to reach its peak, a cold quiet fell over Castle Dimitrescu. Most inhabitants were of a nocturnal persuasion, and lay sleeping soundly at this hour. Those few that thrived in the sun moved softly, with caution, daring not to awaken their masters. Oh, if only they knew that one Lady of the house was awake, prowling the corridors with marked intent. What a chill it would send down their spines- what lovely fear would permeate the household.

Ah, but that was not what Bela Dimitrescu desired, at least not for now. No, what she needed was something she would never admit out loud. It was a “base” need, one that all humans felt, and so she feared that it was beneath her. There was only one person that she could trust for this: A servant, experienced in all matters needed of them, level-headed, compassionate… and, most importantly, selectively mute.

Over the past year, Bela had found herself growing closer to you, much to her own surprise. The two of you had started to bond through reading, after you had helped her reorganize a mess in the library (left by none other than Lady Daniela). Since then, you had proven to be a valuable ally, always finding creative solutions to the family’s problems. From jury-rigging a set of climbing gear for repairs, to proof-reading all formal letters, there was hardly any part of Bela’s life that you hadn’t assisted with. All while only ever saying two or three sentences- short ones, at that.

Neither of you would ever forget the first (and only) time you spoke out loud. A would-be hunter had infiltrated the estate, through a damaged skylight (which you later repaired), intending to prove his worth by killing the nobility inside. By the time Bela arrived, after being notified by a terrified maiden, she found the situation had already been aptly handled. There you had stood, clutching an ornate, bloodied cane like a club. In front of you had been the unconscious hunter.

“You could have been hurt!” Bela had snapped, unable to stop herself, glad that her sisters hadn’t arrived yet. Then you had glanced at the man, then her, then back to the man. Something uncharacteristically dark had danced in your eyes.

“He said he was going to save me… from you. Called me defenseless,” you had snarled, poking the man with your cane as you did. “Rude.” Before Bela even had a chance to react, her sisters had appeared, disappointed to find the fight already over. They had fought over who would get to kill the hunter, and somewhere in that chaos you had slipped away without another word.

That day had replayed itself in Bela’s mind hundreds of times in her mind. Though she would not readily admit it, that had been the day that her casual affection for you had started to turn into something more serious. These days she didn’t even know how to describe your relationship- after all, you had never told her how you felt. But you had held her, closely, fingers running through her hair while she fought off memories from someone else’s life. Held her in your arms, as she held you, staving off the cold like it was all you had ever known.

This was what she wanted. Your touch, your comfort. All that stood in her way was a familiar question: Where were you? Master of your environment, schedule constantly in flux, you were rarely where anyone expected you to be, especially when you were prone to taking on whatever tasks others hadn’t had time to finish. So Bela searches, quickly, around places the day-shift tends to gather. She’s careful not to be seen, even though she knows the maidens aren’t likely to gossip where her family might hear. In the end she catches a hint of your scent near the servants’ quarters, and curses herself for not checking there sooner.

Your room is one of the only single-occupancy rooms in this wing. Only senior staff were allowed within these places, most of them rotating out as they “lost their usefulness”. The fact that you had slept in the same bed every night for six months was a testament to your skill. It’s the kind of thought that brings Bela some semblance of warmth in her chest. Still, the thought alone is not enough, so she slowly eases your door open.

Her ears strain against the silence, listening for the pattern of your breathing, or the telltale murmurs that would announce your awakening. Instead, the first things she hears are little gasps, then the shifting of fabric. Dreams of some sort have you turning and tossing, lungs getting hungry in their pursuit of air. It’s not immediately clear whether or not you are enjoying the dream. Were these good gasps, like those that Daniela often cooed about when she praised her maiden? Or were these the same kind that sometimes haunted Bela herself?...

A whimper cuts through the air, and suddenly Bela loses all patience. Practically running, she crosses the room in an instant, concern etched into her brow. One hand cautiously reaches for your blanket, pulling it back enough for her to slide in next to you. It’s a risk, one that could make you wake up with a panic, but it’s one she’s willing to take. After all, she had asked you about this sort of thing before. Though you couldn’t form full sentences, you had experience “miming” things, and Bela was quite clever with her “yes or no” questions.

When she carefully wraps an arm around your waist, she does so with confidence. Beneath her touch you stiffen, back going as tense as possible, but you stop shaking. A few more gasps leave you, and Bela wonders whether or not she should wake you up. Less than a minute later the decision is made for her. All the sudden your gasping turns to a sharp exclamation, body jerking hard, eyes snapping open. Tension coils through your muscles, driving your already overstimulated brain overboard.

Before Bela can even try to comfort you, you sit up, quickly turning so your legs dangle off the edge of the bed. Muffled sobs pass your lips as you hold your face in your hands. Memories struggle against each other behind your eyes, blocking out every other sensation. Your jaw is clenched, hard, and you struggle to breathe between shakes. A hand touches your back, but quickly moves when you flinch in response. It takes a minute for you to even process who else is with you. Once you do, some of the tension bleeds from your body.

“If you’d rather be alone right now, I understand,” Bela says, quietly, as soon as she thinks you’ll be able to understand her. For a moment you can’t bring yourself to respond, and you can feel her side of the mattress shifting, like she’s getting ready to leave. Panic springs up in your chest again, so you quickly reach a hand out in her direction. Thankfully she knows what to expect at this point, easily finding your hand in the dark, gently taking it within her own. “One squeeze for yes, two for no?”

You squeeze, once.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Bela asks, trying to hide the hopefulness in her voice. It makes you pause, considering, even though you’re still overwhelmed by your sensory inputs. In the end you squeeze her hand twice. “No worries, my dear. Don’t be tempted to push yourself just for my sake.” Somehow she always knew how to read you like an open book. Even with the… difficulty of communicating with you. Not that she had ever complained, or even thought about it. Knowing you, and caring for you, made any effort feel as easy as breathing.

A few minutes pass without another word being said. Sometimes Bela gives your hand a little squeeze, just to check in, and you always return it. Soon enough your brain starts to relax, loosening its vice-like grip on your motor controls. Once again you can ease the tension in your muscles. Then you find yourself rubbing your thumb against Bela’s hand, moving in soft circular motions, head turning so you can smile at her. Even if it’s too dark for you to see much, you know that her eyes see you just fine.

“Feeling any better?” She asks, donning a smile of her own. One squeeze. “Is there anything more I can do to help?” A pause, then one squeeze. Now that your limbs don’t feel as staticky, there’s only one thing on your mind: Cuddling. You’re moving before you know it, briefly letting go of Bela’s hand so you can get closer to her, pressing your face into her neck and giving her a soft kiss. Then you’re falling against the bed, on your side, looking up at your partner with a grin. It doesn’t take her long to get the message, shifting back onto her side so she can hold you for real this time. One of your hands goes to rest on her back, to serve as your translator for the rest of the night. “I love you,” Bela says, without even thinking.

She freezes up afterwards, realizing that this is the first time she’s ever said the words out loud to you. For a moment she’s scared, a feeling alien to her, but she refuses to back down. It pays off a few seconds later, incredibly so, when you return the words the best way you can: One squeeze.

[mifil]

Why Princess Bubblegum is so important to me.

For starters, I'm sure there will be people reading this post and having no clue, who this whole princess is. In brief description, Princess Bubblegum is one of the main characters from the american cartoon called "Adventure Time". She rules a kingdom of the candy people as the undisputed ruler.

Onto the main topic.

Why would a seemingly random character from a mere cartoon for children be of any significance to me? It's rather simple: my identity of who I am.

Now what do I mean by that? Let me explain. Her appearance, her actions in the show, her personality - all of that helped me with figuring myself out for who I am and who I want to be.

I first watched Adventure Time around 2012 or 2013. Back then it was really only a show that I'd watch to have time pass by, though I did eventually come to like that very colourful cartoon of a funny magical dog and a warrior kid. And so I started watching it regularly, waiting for it to air on my local CN tv channel. I didn't think much of PB when I first started watching the series. She appeared here and there and I didn't pay so much attention to her. To be fair, back then, she was more of a side character at first. I remember thinking of her as "pretty" and maybe a bit a somewhat of a... crush character? It's hard to pinpoint what my 12 yo thought back then. Nonetheless, that's my first opinion that I had of that character - not much, really.

It all changed back in 2020, when I returned to the show, rewatching the early season episodes and watching the seasons that I haven't seen before, as I stopped caring about it around 2013. It shifted my perception of the character dramatically. She became a person, whose motives and actions I understood and could relate to. She became a character that I could see a bits of myself in it. Maybe more than just bits. I've got to see her struggle with her life, her decisions, her mental problems and issues of everyday life.

With such classics as The Suitor, Goliad or Wizards Only, Fools, Princess Bubblegum made me think. Who she exactly is? Is she right? Why do people say she acts weird, while I often don't see anything wrong with her behaviour? Why does it feel like I'm kind of watching myself and experiencing my problems right there? And why do I kind of want to be like her?

I asked those questions quite a lot. It all happened in the middle of my, I'd say, a search for an identity of my own. Before I'd simply identify myself as a very feminine person, though even then I wasn't sure what I wanted from myself. And funnily enough, that princess made out of gum helped me with that.

She is a pretty interesting person. Throughout the show she struggles with keeping her kingdom together. It takes a toll on her mental health (most visible in The Suitor or Bad Timing). She goes to dubious conclusions and great lenghts of securing the safety of her kingdom, usually hurting some people in the process. Be it a total disregard for the other side, playing with the idea of the lesser evil, necessary actions, being in charge of a surveillance state and so on. And all of that I understand in some parts. Her motives apparent throughout the show - it's to protect her own citizens that she treats as her kids, loved ones. She rationalised that if she stayed passive, the kingdom would be all gone and all her citizens would suffer. Was she right? Partially, but also she went overboard with some actions (like in The Cooler). And it's relatable to me - to be very protective of the things that I love and going to unbelievable lengths to achieve that, often being in a tunnel-vision and not seeing any other alternatives, resolving to swift, but radical actions. All to keep people she cares about happy and safe.

The Princess is also pretty atypical. It's clearly visible she's kind of socially awkward - doesn't act in a normal way. This is where her weirdness comes from. Her apparent lack of empathy, her disregard for the feelings of others, her eccentrism, her complaining about not being understood, her weird and sometimes creepy responses, her wacky and inadequate behaviours... all that points to her having some kind of disorder. She is definitely not a neurotypical person and it's very understood from her opinions, actions and even personality. This is also something that I relate to. I often were misunderstood by others, my actions would seem creepy and irrational, my sudden anger would not be understood, I'd wear whatever I wanted with a disregard for this whole fashion sense, I act wacky in a lot of cases, make inappropiate comments, some think I have a problem with understanding others and their feelings, I'd not understand obvious social norms... I could go on. But the thing is, I'm an Aspie. And I don't know if PB is one, nor do I really care. All I know is that I understand PB's point of view and her acts.

This is also the person that, as it is later found out, has an inferiority complex (seen in Bad Timing or Obsidian). Comparing herself to others, trying to prove something that doesn't need to be proven - her own worth. She feels the need to be the smartest and the most thoughtful person in the room, her failures drag her down and cause depression in some cases. Another thing I could easily relate to - especially with not knowing and feeling my self-worth and kind of hating it all. If I don't see it, I feel worthless, unneeded, replaceable.

In the end of it all, she finds peace and resolutions to have problems - which indeed has helped me too. She eventually stops being the princess, focusing on her life and the loved ones close to her - Marceline, her girlfriend. She dedicated time to herself, her own needs and enjoyment. She stops being this vigiliante of the world, the grand protector of everyone. She steps down and realises that the world is fine without her overboard actions of keeping everything together by hurting others. She is relieved of stress too, no more sleepless night of trying to keep everything together, of scheming to create yet another plan to protect her citizens. It took a toll on her mental health and now she is in an enviorment that is much friendlier to her and the one that is there to help her. And this helped me with my own problems with stress, with rather toxic enviorments and feelings like I need to aim for the happiness of others first and foremost, ignoring my own wellbeing. It's eye opening and so it has let me understand that I know, who I am. That there's nothing wrong with me. That I can act naturally, like how PB acts in a way that is not expected of a princess. She doesn't fit any neat box. I don't either. I'm a weirdo that is fine being this weirdo. And no one shall try to force me to be someone that I'm not happy to be. No longer worried about what others might think, no longer thinking that I'm a broken person. I'm very different. And so is she.

[illuminatedquill]

Nevertheless, Episode 9

More Thoughts/Analysis

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”

- E.A. Bucchianeri

Jae Eon’s Self Sabotage

Chekov’s Gun is the dramatic principle that details within a story will contribute to the overall narrative. You might have heard of this before in its simplest form: if there is a gun shown in Act 1, it absolutely must go off in Act 2 or 3. In episode 9 of Nevertheless, we have this scene right at the beginning:

Yes, that scene. Park Jae Eon sees Yang Do Hyeok standing off to the side as he waits outside Na Bi’s apartment to retrieve his stuff. Na Bi doesn’t know Do Hyeok is nearby. Jae Eon makes the calculation in his head and manipulates his way inside Na Bi’s apartment, knowing exactly what it looks like to Do Hyeok. It’s petty revenge for seeing Na Bi and Do Hyeok together on campus from earlier.

This is the gun. And it backfires on Jae Eon big time. Throughout the entire episode, his acts of sincerity towards Na Bi seem genuine and heartfelt, yet his action in that one scene undermines anything he attempts. It doesn’t work; to his mounting frustration, Na Bi and Do Hyeok continue to talk and meet as if nothing happened.

(We know that’s not the case as seen from Do Hyeok’s alone time but I’ll talk about that later in this post.)

It’s a ticking time bomb and it goes off at last in the rain scene. Nothing is working for him. He is desperate not to lose Na Bi. And he goes off in a drunken rage on Na Bi after she returns home on that fateful rainy night.

And he loses her. The gun goes off. Everything sincere he did turns rotten in Na Bi’s eyes after he reveals his actions. Actions have consequences, always rippling forward and affecting change in moments not yet experienced. He ruined his chances because of his petty cruelty towards Do Hyeok in the beginning. His sincerity only extended towards Na Bi and it was only to get her attention once more.

Jae Eon lost. Not so much to Do Hyeok, as he lost to Na Bi, who cares about him deeply. He underestimated her feelings towards Do Hyeok, assuming, like so many other viewers, that he was an an irritating distraction that refused to go away.

He can’t fathom why Do Hyeok still seems to like Na Bi after seeing them enter her apartment together. Is he really that incredible a person? What makes him so special?

Well, let’s talk about it.

Do Hyeok’s Crisis Playbook

We see from Do Hyeok’s time alone after his initial visit to Seoul that he is taking it pretty hard; I can’t really blame him, considering what he saw that night. His struggle is open, honest, and raw; like Na Bi, it affects him to the point that he can’t focus on his work (anyone seem to notice that Jae Eon’s work never seems to be affected by his feelings?).

It’s jealousy and insecurity eating away at him. Just like Jae Eon. He’s also desperate not to lose Na Bi but doesn’t want to do anything untoward or overboard because he’s afraid of ruining their friendship. Once again, his consideration is for Na Bi and how she feels, but he cannot ignore what he saw and how he feels about it.

So, what is our favorite Potato Boy to do? Park Jae Eon already made his move by staging that whole scene of him and Na Bi going into her apartment together. How does Do Hyeok fight back? What’s his playbook in this time of crisis?

He doesn’t fight back. And that’s how he stays in the game. Do Hyeok is not a player like Jae Eon; there isn’t a manipulative or deceptive bone in his body. Do Hyeok does what he always does and doubles down on his sincerity, on the strength of his feelings, and his faith in Na Bi.

Do Hyeok doesn’t play the game Jae Eon tries to involve him in. He always lays it all out on the table with Na Bi so there is no room for misunderstandings. That’s one of the reasons why their relationship works so well; they talk more. Not just about feelings or romance but about school or their day to day life. What they’re building now is something that can last a lifetime.

So he talks to her about it. And admits his jealousy. She wasn’t even aware that he had seen them and yet it sounds like he’s the one who is apologizing (even though he never let his hurt feelings show in his conversations with Na Bi, DO HYEOK YOU ARE TOO GOOD). He lays himself bare to her once more. We don’t see Na Bi’s response other than her shocked and guilty expression, which is annoying because it would definitely be interesting to see how she reciprocated his frankness.

(Underrated super cute scene between them in this episode; when they meet up at night and bring drinks for each other. It’s even the exact same drink. I was grinning like a maniac.)

But Na Bi is familiar with Jae Eon’s game. And when she finds out how badly Do Hyeok was hurt by Jae Eon’s actions (and how he involved her in it) Na Bi finally is snapped to her senses and severs the thread still binding her and Jae Eon together.

Na Bi’s choice isn’t shown as a redemptive or heroic moment. It never was supposed to be. Although I’m sure a lot of us were cheering in that moment, her moments of unrestrained grief alone afterwards are the sobering reality that love, as always, comes with a price.

Nabi’s Choice (The Review)

This is a follow up to my earlier post before episode 9 came out. So, now we see what Na Bi decides and, maybe, how it will all play out in the next episode (barring any last minute twists).

First, let’s address the still ongoing criticism I see regarding Na Bi and Do Hyeok’s relationship: lack of passion, no romantic vibes, blah blah blah. I wrote at length in a previous post why that isn’t true - at least on Do Hyeok’s part (one of the reasons why we don’t get internal monologue from Do Hyeok is because what else is he thinking about other than Na Bi?).

Na Bi, on the other hand, is still ambivalent about her feelings towards Do Hyeok. Episode 9 provided more clarity for her stance towards Jae Eon - he’s the dog shit she stepped on and was promptly wiped away in the grass - but Do Hyeok is still a mystery. Yes, she’s friendly, she cares, and genuinely enjoys being with him but the spice, the passion is missing. And that is kinda important for a romantic relationship.

Well. Look no more. Na Bi has spice for Do a Hyeok and it shows not once, but twice this episode. Where’s the passion? Jae Eon fucked around and found out. Very kind of him. Turns out Na Bi, like all of us who like Do Hyeok, will not tolerate any Do Hyeok slander and I am 100 PERCENT here for it.

There’s a scene shortly before the climatic rain fight where Na Bi is having another meeting with her assistants: the junior (does he have a name? Jin-su?) and Jae Eon. The junior talks to Na Bi about her and Park Jae Eon: the usual tired gossip of whether or not they’re dating. Na Bi waves it away like dandelion fluff.

And then the junior mentions Do Hyeok. “What about the noodle shop guy? Ever since the camp meeting, people have been saying there’s a higher chance you’re dating him.”

And Na Bi just . . . we’ve never seen this from her before, even when she broke up with Jae Eon in episode 5. Her whole demeanor turns ice cold and her voice is wicked sharp as she proceeds to shut down that avenue of questioning. The junior physically leans back from the force of her anger and wonders aloud why she’s so upset (you’re talking about her love life as gossip, idiot, why do you think she’s so upset). Jae Eon walks in and doesn’t see the foreshadowing; he just hears Do Hyeok and it feeds his jealousy.

There it is, everybody. Evidence of Na Bi’s feelings for Do Hyeok and what he means to her. Her protectiveness over him and her refusal to let him be involved in the drama surrounding herself and Jae Eon. Her desire to be the better around him; not because he asks (and he would never) but because his feelings for her make her think she might be worthy of such a love.

And then there’s the rain scene. Na Bi and Jae Eon, vulnerable in the rain. Na Bi admits to her faults in the relationship, how she brought this upon herself. No, she hasn’t been nice or good this whole time; in fact, she’s been kind of terrible. But Jae Eon revealing what he did and how it was to hurt Do Hyeok wakes her up and convinces that the time has come to end this “game”. It got Do Hyeok hurt because of her inability to end it with Jae Eon and good people don’t let that happen to people they care about.

So Na Bi ends it with Jae Eon and chooses herself. At last. And to do so, she has to cut out this malignant tumor of a relationship and, God, does it hurt so much to end it, but she gets it done and takes the first step to being a better person for herself.

The cinematography in this drama is top tier and we see her situation presented so viscerally. She’s alone, in the light, but it’s not a warm, redemptive light; it has a sickly, yellow tint and is surrounded by darkness.

But she’s still there. She still made it.

One Last Observation, I Promise

Last thing I noticed from this episode that I want to talk about: the professor’s critique of Na Bi. She specifically mentions that a good artist can inspire others and Na Bi, whether she realizes it or not, actually does do that.

Na Bi helps Do Hyeok with his videos, giving advice that helps boost their popularity and making them better.

Jae Eon is inspired to make the butterfly bracelet for Na Bi and gifts it to her.

The difference between the two? Do Hyeok actually thanks Na Bi for her help and points out that it was her influence that made his videos better.

Jae Eon obviously means his gesture to be romantic and sincere but he again fails to talk about why he’s doing it. The implication is there but Na Bi needs more than some vague nonsense.

Communication is at the heart of this episode and how, without it, relationships stagnate and fail. Bit Na + Gyu Hyun and Soljiwan couple - their relationships only progress because the couples voice their concerns and fears to one another. And instead of being rejected or being hurt, it allows their partners to reassure them and move forward with their relationship.

Why do Na Bi and Jae Eon fail? They. Don’t. Talk. Na Bi is stuck inside her head and Jae Eon relies on vague gestures and sexual chemistry to express himself.

Why do Na Bi and Do Hyeok succeed? Because they talk. About everything. Their dialogue is clear and honest and sincere without any hidden meanings or motives. And you see why Na Bi is rapidly moving more and more towards Do Hyeok and not Jae Eon.

(The preview does raise some questions about how it will all end but I don’t think the show is going to pull a bait and switch and have Na Bi end up with Jae Eon. I also don’t think it’s likely they’ll have an open ending, either. I’ll talk about that in another post.)

My next post will be what I envision to be the best version of a Na Bi and Do Hyeok endgame and what I mean by that since Na Bi shouldn’t be dating anyone right now. So, look forward to that.

Until next time, everybody. Thanks for reading this long ass post. Hope you enjoyed it.

[obeiii-mee]

How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.

Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:

Lucifer:

-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time

-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same

-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile

-Well, shit, we can’t have that

-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter

-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens

-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day

-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy

- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)

-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included

-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it

-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that

Mammon:

-“You’re an idiot!”

-“*Sigh*, I know.”

-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”

-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human

-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself

-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”

-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried

-He would have choked if he was drinking something

-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend

-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat

-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands

-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell

-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu

-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way

-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened

-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum

-So now it’s your turn!

-Let him kiss your insecurities away please

-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!

Levi:

-Well then

-It takes two to tango ya know?

-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well

-“I suck.”

-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”

-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse

-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever

-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously

-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are

-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish

-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)

-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most

-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again

-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable

-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious

-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit

-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself

-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet

Satan:

-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from

-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?

-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues

-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you

-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort

-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours

-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it

-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them

-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner

-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!

-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one

-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle

-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something

-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”

-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for

-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward

-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end

-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)

-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”

-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting

Asmo:

-*Shocked Gasp*

-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?

-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’

-Pfft, the fuck is that?

-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself

-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time

-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin

-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”

-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest

-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you

-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS

-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’

-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond

-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful

-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”

-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not

-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time

-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important

-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious

Beel:

-Oh no :(

-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself

-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart

-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”

-Well you can’t say no to that face

-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this

-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do

-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”

-“Sniffle no you’re not.”

-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now

-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too

-🙂

-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie

-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy

-Bone crushing hugs btw

-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it

-W h o a

-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week

-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you

-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night

-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon

-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??

-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident

-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on

-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated

-Because you deserve it

-IneedmyselfaBeel

Belphie:

-He feels like absolute shit

-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past

-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?

-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin

-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself

-But he still believes he fueled it

-So now he needs to fix it

-He’s tried everything and I mean everything

-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while

-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself

-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you

-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it

-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole

-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking

-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice

-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened

-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day

-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh

-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything

-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time

-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily

-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face

-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’

-Snapped his head around at him and everything

-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty

-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat

-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies

-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf

-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF

(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)

Al~

[chibisidesm8]

I think the only pirates AU's I have seen are centered around the twins, but I just imagine how nice would it be if Janus' scales were because being half merman! Or some other sea creature! A sea sneak?

True. Still interesting pirate AU ideas tho

I've been thinking about one too and idk if I should ramble about it here but I will anyway just cause I can.

Here's a ramble about a roceit+analogical Pirate AU:

So imagine a pirate AU with Janus being raised in a fishing town

He doesn't know anything about his origin other than his "aunt/uncle" adopted him and treated him like a son alongside their child Logan, so the two are like siblings to each other

Logan tells Janus all sorts of stories and legends of creatures of the sea

So they decide to study those together

Janus is always curious about where he's from and why he's half-reptile. His relatives don't know the answer

So fast forward, Logan and Janus are all grown up and are able to operate their family fishing ship

Janus is captain as he seems to have an affinity for the sea. Logan is his first mate

During a sail, Janus spots something on a rock, and secretly took a rowboat to get a closer look

He gets close and realizes it's another sailor who seems to have been lost at sea and was clinging to the rock

Janus rescues the sailor and takes him back on to their ship

Logan is all "Where have you been?! Who is this???"

They take the sailor back to their home to recover

Upon waking up, the sailor introduces himself as Roman. He doesn't recall much of where he came from but he knows he needs to go somewhere far across the horizon

Janus is theorizes that the place Roman is thinking about is a place where he may also find answers about himself as well

So that night, he asks Logan to go with him. Logan says if they do, they may as well be pirates

Janus is willing to take the risk. Their relatives don't stop them but instead wish them a safe journey in finding what they're looking for

So with their loyal crew, Logan, Janus, and Roman set sail

Roman is their navigator

During their voyage, Janus and Roman take a particular liking to one another as they're both trying to find answers about themselves

They have a few misadventures on other islands to resupply and all that

A crewmember is like "so are the Captain and Navigator dating?"

To which Logan responds with "the only people who don't know they're dating are Janus and Roman themselves"

Back to the action:

They suddenly encounter another ship containing more experienced pirates

They try to navigate to avoid each other

They manage to escape the first time but they take notice the ship now seems to be hunting them down

So soon, they're caught during one of their resupply stops:

Roman and a few crewmembers were out while Logan and Janus were thinking about what they've accomplished in their journey so far as they still haven't found any answers

The two get into an argument as Logan is getting frustrated by how they don't know where Roman is bringing them

"So what now? Are you going to make me choose between you two," asks Janus. Logan is silent but responds "No, I won't. But I just want you to rethink this voyage. Ask the question of where we're going and what are we really looking for? What are these answers you want?"

Janus enters deep thought but is interrupted when a crewmember bursts into the room, saying the ship was being overtaken by the pirates

Before the crewmember could return, they are interrupted by a pirate entering

This one had a purple motif, telling the siblings to surrender as their captain is waiting for them on the deck

Janus and Logan knew they were surrounded so they do

They're brought to the deck and a greenclad pirate greets them. They're shocked at his resemblance to Roman

He introduces himself as Captain Remus, and Bosun Virgil

Remus explains how frustrating it was the first time they got away that he just had to catch them for fun

Logan murmurs to Janus about how much Remus looked like Roman

Virgil, hearing the name, repeats the name. This catches Remus's attention, and his demeanor seemingly shifts from chill to hostile

With that reaction, Janus infers that Remus knows something about Roman and so in a voice of faux confidence goes "So you know Roman, too?"

"I did, once" Remus says as his glance briefly turns sullen, like he had a sort of regret, before going back to being serious. "I was going to let you live but...."

Janus starts panicking but that's when Roman and their remaining crew made themselves noticed that they were back

Remus is shocked, but moves to embrace Roman. He is apologizing a lot, holding him tight

Everyone else is stood around them. Virgil has a soft smile on his face

"What's going on? Who are you? Why are my friends tied up????" Roman asks.

Remus allows Janus, Logan, and their crew to be released and then explains to them that Roman and Remus are twins

Remus was Roman's first mate but during a battle against some mythical creature, Roman was thrown overboard and they couldn't find him, so Remus became captain

Remus explains they were heading to an island told in legends to be home to a sort of mystical siren who had answers to the deepest mysteries their heart wishes to know or could even grant a wish if one desperately wanted it

So they come to an agreement to journey together. Remus hopes the siren could restore Roman's memories, while Janus wanted answers to his origin

Janus convinces Logan that it would be worth it so now the ships set sail

Virgil and Logan come to find each other's thoughts to be relatable to their own (worries about their captains, the long aimless journeys, other pirate encounters, etc.), and some feelings may be developing between them

So through a long tough journey across the sea, they finally find the mystical island

So Janus, Logan, Roman, and Remus enter the caves while Virgil stands guard

They meet the siren named Patton, who seems to be very warm in welcoming them

He invites them to have a seat in his chamber. Logan is hesitant but Janus and Remus seem adamant about being friendly to keep the siren appeased, so they all do

When Patton asks what they came seeking for, Remus goes first and explains his regrets after Roman fell overboard and how happy he was when he found his brother again, and he wanted his brother back. Roman adds on with his side of feeling lost, not knowing where he was, and wanting to know who he once was again

Patton senses the truth in their wish and so he grants Roman his memories back

Next, Janus explains how he's been trying to find himself all his life: how much he wanted to know who he was and why he was the way he was

Patton is silent but explains they already used their wish and would have to find him again if they wanted another wish. Patton parts with the final question "Is that what your heart truly wants?"

The cave glow vanishes, leaving the group in the cave with their torchlight

Janus is angry but they don't have much time for that as they sense the island shaking

They all rush back to their ships. They make it back on time and the island vanishes

The group are left to discuss everything that happened

Janus is understandably upset. Roman apologizes to him like "I'm sorry, the wish should have been yours"

Janus looks at him, softly caressing Roman's face. He brings their heads closer, foreheads pressing. He couldn't bring himself to be mad at Roman

"I know I've been searching for it my whole life, but I can live with it. I know who I am now, I'm captain Janus [surname]. I braved the seas with you, my brother, and our crew by my side. And I am yours. I wouldn't want to change that." Janus declares, pressing his lips on Roman's

Bonus dialogue (marked with **):

**"Wait, they were dating????" Remus interrupts.

**"Well now there's three oblivious idiots," Logan replies, getting a chuckle from Virgil

**”I didn’t get to give him the ‘dont hurt my brother’ talk,” Remus pouted

So anyways, they set sail again. They already found answers, now they search for a new adventure