#who unconditionally love him and his kids regardless of their mess

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Idc what anyone says, Oropher would love to meet his grandchild and grandchildren via Miriel.

Everyone: They’re KINSLAYERS!

Oropher:

Does It Look Like I Give A Fuck?

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Thanks to this fanfic I read called A Little Bean on Ao3, I discovered a Parents!Huskerdust concept I really love.

Kinda dark but wholesome at the same time, so read below the cut at your own risk.

- The idea that Angel (as messed up as it is) gets knocked up by Valentino, but instead of being devastated, he loves the baby, and separates how he feels about Val from the baby.

Infact the baby was the last straw he needed, to lash out on Val. And Val just realized having a baby with Angel made him loose even more control of Angel. He agrees to everything Angel wants and the space he needs, to avoid getting beaten and yelled at.

Bc: I headcannon that Angel’s (Anthony’s) mom, was too afraid of her husband, and just let him do whatever he wanted to her sons, she only protects Molly, because she’s the only one who doesn’t resemble her father.

But because of that experience, Angel doesn’t give two shits that his baby is a moth. He’ll protect his flesh and blood.

- And Husk is there to assist, unintentionally becoming some sort of co-parent (this is before he and Angel start dating).

- Extra bonus: Alastor actually respects and commends both Angel and Husk’s attitude towards the ‘unborn baby’, (because, since Journey to the Light isn’t canon, I headcanon Alastor also resembles his dad more, but his mom loved him unconditionally regardless)

- When baby is born (I’m gonna say she, bc I already drew her): She gives absolutely no fucks, about Valentino, even as a clueless baby.

When Val’s in her sight, she just…. stares. Not menacingly, and fearfully, she’s just absolutely numb to his presence. Even when Val, carried her and held her in front of a mirror to show their resemblance, she only blinks without any feeling. She only starts squirming in joy, and giggles when Angel returns to the room. Or when Husk (whom she imprinted on) walks in.

Also lol:

Baby: “Pa….” *eyes instantly lights up* “Papa! Papa! Papa!”

Valentino: “Ha! Finally!” *lifts her into the air* “Yes, darling! Papa! And you’re mamacita thought, you would never call me th—“

Baby: *points behind Val* “Papa! Papa!”

Valentino: “Huh…?” *turns around and see Husk*

Husk: “Yeah, I think she’s talking about me. Give her here.” *takes the baby and walks away*

Valentino: “Are you fucking kidding me!?—OW!” *get hit in the head by a frying pan*

Angel: *holding the frying pan* “Don’t flipping swear, in front of my baby, you butthole!”

Valentino: “She’s MY baby too!”

Angel: “With the way she acts around you? I don’t think so. Your sperm, but my spawn. Get out. Let me deal with you later at work!”

Valentino: “Going! I’m going!”

Like I said, I drew my own fankid already. If anyone’s interested, I might post the art once I finish her up.

[fellulahh]

What he’s like as a Dad (all characters!)

Lucifer:

He’s 100% the responsible parent. If he sees Mammon go toward their sleeping baby, he’ll practically fly across the room to stop him

Spends hours in the supermarket picking the right food out for their baby and nutrients for MC to take

He’s not usually much of a big spender but when it comes to their baby, he wants him/her to have only the most luxurious and soft clothing

Quite often he’ll carry their baby into his study and holds him/her in one arm while they sleep - he finds their baby’s presence so relaxing as he works

Lucifer no longer worries nor cares about his previous life because all that matters to him is the life he created with MC

Mammon:

He’s a super fun dad! MC has to attempt to be the rational one when it comes to parenting with Mammon

Mammon is INCREDIBLY proud of his and MC’s baby, he’ll always be carrying him/her in a baby pouch and will boast to other demons saying “yeah ya see this? Me and my human made this!”

No matter the gender, he buys little baby clothes that match his so that he can go out with their child, saying how he/she is the ‘Great Mini Mammon!’

He gets really jealous if any of the brothers spend too much time with his human and mini human, “oi! Mammon needs some attention too ya know?”

Once he/she is a toddler, Mammon’s always getting them to go up to their Mumma and say stuff like ‘Daddy says you’re cute’

Levi:

Levi loses a lot of his nerves after becoming a dad because rather than worrying about what he thinks of himself, his focus is solely on his lil purple haired baby

He gives that baby so much love, MC absolutely adores the way he radiates confidence while they’re together

He gets really sad when their baby goes to sleep because whenever he’s gaming, he loves to sit their baby in his lap so that he/she can watch their Daddy play

Plays peek-a-boo using his tail

Once baby’s hair has grown enough, he combs it so that it’s exactly the same as his hair style

Takes baby to his various meet ups/conventions

Satan:

Satan has never felt true happiness until MC gives birth to their baby

He always felt that he had no purpose in the world because of his accidental creation but now he has a baby!

He’s always doing whatever he can to spend time with his baby and helps out MC in anyway possible

Often MC will wake up and see Satan passed out in the chair across the room with their baby sleeping peacefully in his arms

Reads a story to baby every single night before they go to sleep

He’s a very proud Dad, he loves holding his baby in one arm and MC’s hand in the other whenever they’re out together

Asmo:

Considering he’s known to not settle down, everyone is surprised by how wonderful of a Father Asmo is

He’s so protective over his baby, if anyone even dares to say as much as “oh your baby’s hair is a bit wild” he will come for whatever bitch said it

“Isn’t he/she beautiful? They get it off their Daddy!” “Asmo babe, I’m right here...” “oh, sorry MC.”

He dresses his baby in the most adorable outfits you’ve ever seen

He tells their baby all of the gossip despite them not having a clue what he’s saying, “I’m going to pass you to your Uncle Lucifer now. He’s a Daddy too - he just doesn’t like to admit it!”

Once the baby’s hair has grown, he absolutely LOVES styling it

Beel:

Beel is a responsible Father, however, their baby has him wrapped around their little finger

Should he deny their baby a treat, all their bub has to do is pull a sad face and Beel’s like “okay, I’ll give you a cookie! Please don’t cry.”

Sometimes the brothers think the baby is glued to him because he carries him/her around everywhere

He never wants to be separated from MC or their baby so he somehow manages to cuddle them both during movie night

Loves trying out the baby food when he’s on dinner duty, “ew this tastes horrible! Here, have some of my pizza instead.” “Beel, no!”

He loves loves loves being a Daddy

He’s always pining over his little family and whenever they both go to bed, he’s always hinting to MC about having another baby

Belphie:

Belphie is the sort of Dad where you would walk into the baby’s nursery to find him curled up in the cot next to his bub because he/she couldn’t sleep

He’s always dressing the baby up in snuggly little onesies

Buys the baby a little cow print pillow that matches his

That baby has this demon’s whole heart. He would protect MC and his child with his life

He’s also quite funny as a Dad, if someone else like Lucifer is holding their baby and he/she starts crying, Belphie just smiles and says “I’m sorry Lucifer but I don’t think he/she likes you.” And takes the baby back into his own arms

He’s always buying soft little plushies for the baby

Diavolo:

You’ve never met a prouder dad until you’ve met Diavolo, he loves his and MC’s baby unconditionally

He takes their baby everywhere with him in a little baby pouch; to important meetings with the nobles, to big announcements, to student council meetings etc

For every birthday, he has a portrait painted of him, MC and their child and hangs them where everyone who enters the castle can see

Often tells the baby, “I’m hoping very soon we will be able to give you a brother or sister but mummy’s being stubborn!” “Diavolo I only gave birth two months ago?!” “So? I want a big family!” He whines

He dedicates every single ball to MC and their baby

He’s quite mischievous too - he plays pranks on MC and Barbatos because he knows it makes the baby cry with laughter

Barbatos:

His baby is very spoiled. I mean they effectively have Lord Diavolo as an Uncle, of course he/she is going to be spoiled!

Because he’s so used to taking care of Diavolo’s orders, Barbatos automatically becomes the parent that makes the bottles, gets up at night, prepares breakfast etc regardless of MC likes it or not

Their baby is incredibly intelligent for their age because Barbatos’ is always spending time with him/her, helping them learn to talk

He’s always going above and beyond for MC and their baby

The baby brings out a very rare, soft side to Barbatos. He always tries to remain stern and composed but MC loves the fact that he always has a bright, cheery face whenever he’s with their baby

Simeon:

This angel is so soft for their baby, he’s such a good Daddy

The first person he introduces their baby to is Luke, “this is your Uncle Luke, little one.”

He’s always praising what a beautiful family he has and constantly posts pictures on Devilgram of MC

Lucifer is also the first person he goes to, to tell all about how wonderful it is being a Father; expressing the little things their baby does

He’s so appreciative of MC for bringing their baby into the world so he goes above and beyond to care for their new family

He always holds their baby and points at MC saying: “that’s your Mummy over there. Isn’t she magnificent?”

Solomon:

Yes he’s a good father but he does also have those moments that make MC question why on Earth she thought it’d be a good idea to have a baby with Solomon

*chucks sock on baby’s head* “MC WE’VE GOT A 2319!” “Solomon, get that off our baby’s head right now!”

He makes tik toks with their baby

“We should call him Albus Severus Potter!” “Absolutely not”

As chaotic as he is, he does have really tender moments with their baby too

Sometimes MC will walk into their room and see Solomon playing ‘aeroplane’ with their baby as he/she giggles

On multiple occasions, Solomon has had to quickly grab his sorcerer books from their baby “whoah kid, don’t you start messing with that. You’ll get us both in trouble!”

[wylanvnneck]

Jurdan, Angst, prompt number 3 please!!🥰

Angst Prompt #3: "No, don't cry, I hate it when you cry."

Fandom: TFOTA

Ship: Jurdan

Masterlist | Prompt List

------------------------------------------------

The High King of Elfhame feels a fissure start to build in his semblance of a heart as he gazes upon the downturned face of his wife standing before him. The picture that she paints is tragic and beautiful, her umber hair loosely trailing down her back over her ivory nightgown, her face turned down and away from the moonlight shining through the window, her usually fiery eyes hidden from view. Just seconds ago she had changed his life with her words and he’d been glowing and luminescent, the excitement mixed with trepidation racing through his body like the finest of wines but now the air around them is cold and damp, uncertainty and confusion taking over his euphoria.

There’s a silence that he doesn’t know how to break. Even the drapes on their shared four poster bed make no noise as the wind rips through them and the whole atmosphere is quiet and still, a stark contrast to the panic and turmoil rising within him with every passing second.

He can’t take much more of this, he doesn’t have the strength to and he needs to change this, to fix this, to bring back the laughter and the happiness. Before he can demand that she speak, tell him, help him, his pointy-tipped fae ears pick up on the low sounds of a sob. A hitched breath.

He steps forward right up in front of her, desperate. “Jude? Jude look at me.” He hears the anguish in his voice. “Please.”

Finally, she meets his stare, her eyes glistening as she blinks hard against the reluctant tears starting to trail down her cheeks. Gently, he reaches out to catch one of them, absorbing her sorrow with his fingertips.

“No, don’t cry, I hate it when you cry. I never know what to do.”

She lets out a shaky breath and attempts a small watery smile and the fissure in his heart starts to heal. He cradles her face and leans down to be closer, searching her closed expression. His wife so rarely broke down, always putting up a brave front, but in moments like this, despite his sadness on her behalf, he’s also grateful to be the only one that she would remover her armor for, the only one who would ever see the mortal High Queen of Elfhame so vulnerable.

“My Darling Villain, what is it? Are you unhappy about this?”

The question hurts, the idea that Jude doesn’t want this, but he hopes she can change her mind. He’d thought of their possible future children before of course, and it had always felt so far away, something exciting but not pressing. Now that the reality was in front of him it was frightening, alarming, maddening, delightful, wonderful; it was many many things.

“It’s not that I’m not happy. I am - I think.” Her expression is softer now, her tears slowing and her voice is strong, all good signs. “It’s only...Well, look at us Cardan! We were two broken halves that miraculously fit together, what do we know about good parenting? I was raised by a blood thirsty Redcap that I no longer speak to and you by an uncaring mother and absent father, how could we possibly raise children of our own without messing them up!”

She had a point. Neither one of them had had loving childhoods, their parents either dead or as good as. Still, if there was one thing he was determined to do now that he was High King with Jude as his queen, it was to write his own destiny. A prophecy had caused his pain but in the end Jude had helped make it his salvation. She herself was a mortal, a mortal who had gone on to become the Queen of the Fae, something that no one would ever have imagined before. Yes, their younger days had left them undeniably scarred and beaten down but not broken, never broken. There’s not much he need reassure her about, not much he needs to help her with but over this, he can.

“Jude, listen to me. You and I, yes, we have our scars. But we also have the power to be who we want to be. Look at where we are now and look at where we started. We have the power to create our own fates, which means that we have the ability to raise our children up together in the way that we want to, regardless of how our own guardians raised us. Will we have some navigation issues along the way? Probably. But will we always try to do our best by our kids and love them unconditionally? Absolutely. And that, My Queen, is how I know that we won’t mess them up. At least, not too badly.”

Her brown eyes are wide, the tear tracks beneath them already drying. A corner of her tantalising lips lifts up. “When did you get to be so wise?”

He smirks, grateful for the levity that was starting to come back, chasing away the tumult. “I’ve always been so, it’s not my fault you were determined not to admit it.”

She shakes her head and laughs and the sound unleashes a warmth inside of him. Smiling now, he wraps his arms around her small frame and pulls her close, breathing in the woodsy scent of her hair and dropping a kiss to the top of her head, love and contentment welling up inside of him like a waterfall.

--------------------------------------

Omg @cupcakesandkittens, I'm so sorry for how long this took, I wasn't quite decided on what I would do for this prompt but I kinda like how it went and I hope you do too💕 Thank you for being such an awesome mutual🌻

Tagging: @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln, @thewickedkings and @kittkatandbooboo 💓

*Please let me know if you'd like to be added to or taken off of my taglist.

[hotchley]

okay but like...

hotch and haley that never once talked badly about the other in front of jack because even though they’re both annoyed at each other, jack is a child and it isn’t fair on him because they’re the adults and they need to be responsible (this is pre, during and post divorce)

hotch and haley that co-parent as best as they can and who both make an effort to turn up at school events and remain civil with each other because it’ll be embarrassing for jack if they don’t

jack who grows up understanding that sometimes moms and dad’s can’t be together because they just don’t work and knowing that that’s okay so long as they’re respectful to each other and do what’s best for both them and any children involved

hotch that finds it difficult to say the words i love you but who also understands that his son needs to hear the words so he swallows the lump in his throat and says them every evening and every morning

jack who knows his dad finds it difficult to say the words but who also understands that the words don’t always need to be said for him to know that his dad loves him, but who also knows that if he needs to hear it, all he has to do is speak up

hotch who teaches jack that it’s okay to feel emotions other than happiness and okayness but it’s not okay to take those emotions out on the people you love- they work together to find better ways to relieve anger and to cope with the sadness

hotch who gets annoyed at things and people (including jack) but makes a conscious effort to never snap at jack because of his annoyance, and who always says: hey buddy, i’m feeling annoyed right now so give me a few moments to calm down and then we’ll talk

hotch who never once tries to make jack telling him about his problems into something about his own childhood because even though jack’s struggles are different, that doesn’t mean they’re less serious and jack is not his therapist so he shouldn’t be making it about himself

hotch who always tries to remember what his son likes and who listens to all his stories from start to finish because jack needs to know that his words are not a waste of anyone’s time, and anyone who tries and tells him that they are isn’t worth his time

hotch who gives jack the childhood he never had because he’s a parent now and the whole point is that you give your kids what you didn’t have without expecting them to be grateful because they didn’t ask to be born

hotch who never reacts in anger when jack screws up, and if he is angry he takes a deep breath and says they’ll talk about it when he’s calmed down because he wants jack to trust him and he knows shouting will make the whole thing worse (he says he loves him before exiting the room to calm down properly)

jack who is never afraid of telling hotch that he messed up because he knows his dad will do his best to be understanding of the situation and won’t just start shouting at him or make him feel even worse than he already does

hotch who never tells jack after a poor exam grade that maybe he didn’t try hard enough because he knows that jack would’ve done his best and the best you can do in timed conditions whilst stress is different to the best you can do when you’re relaxed

hotch who tells jack he’s proud of him because sometimes those words are enough to make sure a person keeps trying and jack that knows his dad means it and will never stop being proud of him regardless of what he does with his life (with a few obvious exceptions)

jack who never once feels like he’s supposed to be grateful because hotch gave him a childhood because hotch never once made it about what he’s done for him because he would always just say: i’m your dad, it’s my job

hotch that just wants the best for jack so he gets his opinion on schools and apartments and all that because jack needs to know that his opinion is valid and will be listened to

jack who never once wonders whether he was a wanted child or a last-ditch attempt to save his parents marriage because his mom always said she loved him and died keeping him safe and his dad always makes sure he knows he’s loved by bringing him hot chocolate when he’s studying and who never stops trying to keep him safe

hotch who loves his son more than anything in the world and who would do anything to keep him safe and jack who loves his dad more than anything in the world and who would do anything to keep him around at all times

hotch and jack who love each other unconditionally because they’re family and that’s what family is

[panharmonium]

okay.  

i realize this might be a kind of a weird thing for me to devote time to when i’m one episode from the end but honestly?  i just have to.  i have to.  i have a longer piece of meta in this vein that i’ll deal with some other time when i’m less focused on the end of season 5, but given the content of the last couple episodes i just - cannot restrain myself.  the stunning level of deliberate, unnecessary cruelty i witnessed in that one moment yesterday (guess i was WRONG omg i STILL can’t believe i heard that with my own two ears...i probably have the lowest expectations of arthur pendragon out of anybody in this fandom but even i was shocked) - it tipped me right over the edge.  it threw me for an entire loop.  

so, what i have to do right now is take a second to acknowledge the one character who a) predicted this bullshit a long time ago, and b) could have been relied upon to react to it appropriately, that is to say by punching arthur pendragon in the mouth.

fig. A: my Son, ‘I Would Sell Arthur Pendragon to Satan for One Corn Chip’ 

i love him.  

i know we only saw him once.  i don’t care.  he’s the only non-villain across five entire seasons of this show who ever told arthur pendragon to get fucked, and that makes him an absolute hero.

this kid snuck up on me and became my most beloved minor character.  when i first met him, i liked him a normal amount, but i wasn’t as deeply invested in him as i am now.  it wasn’t until i got a little further along in the show and started to see how truly painful merlin’s situation becomes without a friend who knows him that i started thinking about him again, and realized how much i actually appreciated him.

so.  will.

will occupies a...fairly unique position in merlin’s circle.  all of merlin’s other friends eventually become knights, or become queen, and they all hop aboard the arthur pendragon train as they get deeper entwined in camelot’s renaissance.  even gwaine, who is a little iffy about arthur in the very beginning, becomes as loyal a knight as camelot has ever seen, and he’s just as invested in camelot’s flourishing as anyone.  and i don’t say this to throw shade at him, or at lancelot, or anybody; those two in particular have absolutely always been true friends to merlin, regardless of the vows they took to camelot.  but there is just something to be said for like - merlin does not have a single person in his life right now who cares about him without also being beholden to arthur.  gwen and gaius and all of the knights are sworn to serve and protect the king.  they are all fully aboard the arthur pendragon train, and on board with merlin’s mission to aid arthur and keep him safe.  gwen, gwaine, gaius, lancelot - even merlin’s own mother is on that train, when she tells merlin he has to go back to camelot at the end of 1.10, saying “you belong at arthur’s side.  i’ve seen how much he needs you.”  

these people would not argue with merlin over the merits of sacrificing things for arthur, because they, too, would do anything for their king.  they wouldn’t necessarily challenge merlin on statements like “his life is worth a hundred of mine,” because they understand what merlin means.  they’re on that same page.  

and that’s nice and all, but given recent events (and forthcoming events, i suspect) i suppose i just am feeling.  a little tired of that.  

i’m tired of the arthur pendragon train.  i want to get off.  i want MERLIN to get off.  and the only other person in the world who ever believed that merlin deserved to get off the arthur pendragon train was will.

all the most recent episodes i’m watching are highlighting for me once again how little merlin settles for in his life.  he can’t be known.  he can’t be seen.  he can’t be accepted.  he can’t be listened to.  he can’t be believed.  he can’t be respected.  he can’t be safe.  he can’t be loved.  he can’t say ‘i am sorry that i can’t go with you to this place’ (for the first time in HOW many years?) without receiving a deliberately nasty, cutting slap across the face.

and we try to rationalize this away; we try to look at the good parts (and yes, there are good parts, of course there are good parts; of course arthur and merlin care about each other) but the ultimate truth is that arthur isn’t merlin’s real friend, not yet.  he thinks he is.  but he isn’t.  a real friend isn’t someone who might kill you if they knew who you were.  a real friend isn’t someone who makes you feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not.  

you cannot be loved if you aren’t safe. 

the only person who ever acknowledges this dynamic is will.  will sees the parts of arthur that merlin tries not to look at, and will loves merlin enough to say ‘this situation you are in is messed up.’  he’s the only one, across five seasons of this show, who ever comes right out and says that merlin is fooling himself when it comes to this ‘friendship.’  merlin might have other people who care about him, later, but all of them are as wrapped up in arthur’s well-being as merlin is.  they don’t tell merlin he deserves better.  they don’t tell merlin ‘this is shitty.  this is a shitty situation you’re settling for.  you deserve more than this.’

five seasons, and will is the only person who ever says this.  merlin’s own mother won’t tell him this.

i’ve been thinking about will kind of a lot as i watch these episodes.  

i think...i think will would lose his mind if he could see merlin at the end of this show.  at ANY point in this show, practically.  he would be so devastatingly angry.  if he ever heard “his life is worth a hundred of mine” come out of merlin’s mouth - i mean.  he’d kill somebody.  he'd thump merlin upside the head and then go kill somebody.

will was only ever in this for merlin.  he didn’t save arthur’s life because he’d started to like the guy; he did it because that’s just who he is.  he saw someone about to get shot and his first instinct was to get in the way.  he’s not riding the arthur pendragon train, and he’s certainly not riding the camelot train, but he still makes sure merlin can go safely back to the citadel, because for some unfathomable reason, merlin seems to feel that it’s important.

because - and this is so important here - will doesn’t even know anything about merlin’s ‘destiny.’  they didn’t have time to talk about dragons or destinies or any of that.  all will knows is that it’s important to merlin, for whatever reason, and that’s enough to make it important to will.  even though he doesn’t understand it.  even though he doesn’t agree with it.  even though he personally thinks arthur’s a loser.  he does what he does so that merlin can have what he wants, so that merlin can be safe and happy in the city of his choice.

SAFE and HAPPY.  and merlin isn’t either of those things.  merlin has never been less safe than he is now.  and merlin hasn’t been happy for a very long time.

will would be rolling over in his grave if he could see merlin now.  he would have fought against the sort of...slow self-immolation we see merlin surrendering himself to here every step of the way.  will told a prince to fuck off in front of the entire population of ealdor; he wouldn’t have any qualms about telling ‘destiny’ to get stuffed, either.  and i find myself missing that single-minded devotion, that uncompromising affirmation of merlin’s intrinsic worth, as opposed to merlin’s importance as a prophesied figure out of myth, as the skies darken over merlin’s head and i see him getting ready to (i think) do something that would send will into an absolute rage.  

none of merlin’s friends or family have ever wanted him to suffer, but will was the only one who saw where this was going, a long, long time ago.  he knew from the beginning that it wasn’t right.  and like...people can complain about him refusing to jump on board the arthur+merlin ship all they want, but the reason he doesn’t get on that boat is because he’s always been captain and sole passenger of the HMS Merlin, and he is the only one who has ever understood that these two boats, with the way the world works right now, just can’t sail together.  so much would have to change first.

so like...i miss this kid.  i really do.  and i think merlin misses him, too, but not in a way that he can afford to let himself think about.  how can a person in merlin’s position afford to remember someone who always thought that merlin’s happiness and safety were more important than anything, when merlin has, by necessity, spent all these years forcing himself to finally accept that his own happiness and safety will always have to be his last priority?  how can he handle being reminded of a time when someone unconditionally believed that merlin deserved to live in this world and be happy, not because of what merlin could do or what great purpose he would serve, but simply because he is.  just because he exists.  because he’s enough as he is.  he matters just as he is.  he deserves to be safe and happy just because he is, not because of what he can do for his majesty the prince.

i don’t think someone in merlin’s position can afford to think like that, especially now.  i think it’s like - when you’re overwhelmed or stressed or upset and you’re holding it together but then somebody does one simple nice thing for you or gives you a hug and that’s when you lose it and start bawling - it feels like that.  i don’t think merlin could handle being gentled in that way.  i think it would be similar to when gwaine tells him “not arthur” - that inability to conceive of somebody who only cares about him, who puts him first.  i think if merlin allowed himself to remember that there was in fact a time in his life when he was someone’s first priority, if he remembered what that felt like - he would crack right down the middle.  

i think if someone were to really remind him of what he deserves from this life, to remind him of what he used to hope he would one day have, he would never be able to do what he thinks he needs to do.

anyway.  

the point of all this is just that as i enter the very end of this show and see merlin still - still - being deliberately gutted by someone who is supposed to love him, someone for whom merlin has been totally willing to give up his life a hundred times over, despite never being recognized and never being accepted and never being free - it is making me appreciate even more keenly the very few people in merlin’s life who chose not to treat him that way.  the very, very few people who knew him and loved him just the way he was.  and in particular it makes me appreciate will, who never had eyes for anybody but merlin, and who, uniquely among merlin’s friends, could not care less about arthur pendragon if you paid him.

after the last episode, i’m just really feeling his energy.  

[bnhaclaimedmysoul]

how would a boyfriend tamaki be like?

request 1: Hi! Can I request? I really love Tamaki, and your writing makes me super soft,,, Could you do a fluffy scenario with him? I cant really think of somethin myself,, ♡

request 2: Cuddle hcs of Tamaki please and thank you.

request 3: Maybe Tamaki x fem!reader where she too, has anxiety and give him some tips to try and make him understand that people aren’t actually talking and gossiping about you ? I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with this ask, I know anxiety can be hard to understand sksksksk

Character: Tamaki

Genre: Fluff

Note: Since I am suffering from one of those days where my tamaki feels seem to be getting out of the hand, might as well write about it 

In general

-your relationship is just a huge ass mess of heart fluttering eye contacts, random noises and comfortable silence

-tbh the reason why you guys even are together is probably how you guys go through the same thing

-and he’s always have had bright people like nejire and mirio in front of him the entire time

-he’ll just soften up over the fact that there are other people like him

-he’d be entranced by you that he’d momentarily forget about his nervousness

-but if you manage to catch him red handed just cue a shy tamaki who just desperately wants to hide in the closest corner possible

-and although both of you suffer from anxiety

-you’d be the idea image of a person he’d like to be

-because even though you go to similar conditions like him, you manage to stand up against all your fears and act like a pillar of support for him

-and I mean literally

-if he ever has to talk to a huge bunch of people and even wave at them

-expect this guy to freeze, slowly turn his way around

-before flopping himself onto you and burying his face in the crook of your neck

-he can handle any embarrassment, whether it be attention from the public or kids if you’re beside him

-he loves snuggling his way into your embrace and when you finally secure him under your touch

-he’ll just unleash all the pent-up tension and easily warm up to your touch

Cuddles 

-although he’ll sneak his way into your arms as a counter effect to his embarrassment

-in private he’d be pretty chill about your attention

-but sometimes, the younger child in him just gets unleashed and he’ll whine for your touch by constantly pulling your shirt when you’re working (which is very rare so treasure it all you can)

-so goes from 0 to 100 real quick

-in the beginning it was more of a rare occurrence, where it’s just be awkward with an uncomfortable silence

-but over time cuddling session have evolved to be this time where both of you bask in silence and lull each other to sleep

-or you have never ending conversation while running patterns on each other shoulder

-it’s also the time where he exposes the true weak self of him to you and sure sometimes it does end up where he lets his tears out while you’re cradling him

-just your warmth and touch can calm his overwhelming emotions down

-but he’d also man up and be open to your thoughts

-it’s one of those ways he repays your efforts

-it’s a free counselling session

-except the psychiatrist is some not some unknown grouch

-it is your very own shy boyfriend, who unconditionally loves you and isn’t willing to lend an ear or share his own experiences

-he’d also kiss your exposed shoulder as a sign of comfort and support

-and loves it when you do the same for him

-your random pecks on his face are honestly so relaxing to him that he’d confidently reach out for your hand and intertwine his slender fingers with yours

-loves it when you place your cheek against his chest and he will put his hand on your head to ruffle your hair

-pulls you closer to him and his soothing breathing will eventually lull you to sleep

-if he has the courage, he’ll even brush of a few strands of hair from your forehead and plant a soft kiss on it and by the end of it, he’ll have this soft grin plastered on his face

-as his heart palpitates as he realizes how much he loves you

Kisses

-it’s one of those picture-perfect kisses

-his knuckles brush against your chin as you start to lean closer

-and his eyelashes flutter and will tickle your cheeks

-he’ll hold your chin with the gentlest touch and then lean in

-he’ll very slightly touch his nose against yours, before kissing you

-it’s the softest of the softest kisses, as his lean lips barely linger but you know that they aren’t going to move any time soon

-as your relationship with him progresses, he’ll eventually pull you closer against him until your bodies are flushed against each other and there practically no space left between the two of you

-until you guys can feel every part of each other’s body and grips you waist and shoulders while doing it

-he loves it when you get handsy during these type of kisses

-very slow and sensual, likes to take his own sweet time, regardless of whether he wants to convey his feelings through it or while kissing you as an emotional support

-the only way of finding out the difference between a thankful or an emotional kiss his that his grip on you will only tighten as he tries to pull you closer to him

overall

-although he may be not sure about himself with all his insecurities, the one thing he is sure about is you

-and as you continue to progress in your relationship, the both you of will change as people but your feelings will remain the same

[throneofglassisking]

How do they parents each react to each of their children? Like, what's every parents opinion/attitude/relationship towards each of their kids??

Rowaelin: Aelin is the parent whose mentality is “As long as they aren’t breaking too many laws, it’s fine” but when it comes to relationships, she is a complete mama bear. She wants to know every single detail about her kid’s lover, from hair color down to shoe size. Meanwhile, Rowan is more the voice of reason who tends to keep his kids in line. He’s extremely supportive of his kids, but much more quietly compared to Aelin screaming it from the rooftops of Terrasen for all to hear, and mostly lets his children try to navigate their relationships on their own, like he did with Aelin. But he will gut you if you hurt any of his children, so just a warning there. Roman is likely their favorite kid due to him helping them out with a lot of communication with other places and keeping his siblings in line, Nehemia is a good kid and they have a special place for her in their heart as the firstborn, Gabriel can be somewhat annoying due to his constant heartbreaking of the various males and females who catch his eye but they love him regardless and he did inherit Aelin’s charm, Deanna is the kid who they took all the steps for to make sure she was ok and they embrace how she’s chosen to be and support her, and Malena is young so they always try to find ways to incorporate her into things (plus she’s cute and can bend most people to her will so it’s endearing).

Elorcan: Lord Lorcan Lochan is so unbelievably soft for his son. He spoils this boy to death because he grew up on the streets of Doranelle and he wants so much better for his son. Hell, Callum could set him on fire and Lorcan would be the one apologizing. He’s a mess. Elide, however, is the parent you fear completely. She’s a wonderful mother, always having time for Callum despite being the Lady of Perranth, but if she gets wind of him causing trouble or running off from his lessons, it’s like she can suddenly teleport. She’s right there and dragging him by the ear down the street, absolutely merciless. Elide and Lorcan both adore Callum, and have never pressured him to be a warrior or a lord, as he’s always expressed a desire to see the world and learn what he can.

Manorian: Manon and Dorian share the brain cell when it comes to parenting their daughters, because when you have a kid with claws trying to carve her sister’s eyes out for ruining the portrait a certain someone gave her, and the other is a magical bomb just waiting to go off, you have to have your moments. Manon is tough on her kids, but in a much more tender way than her grandmother was because she wants them to truly be children of peace. She’s always there to help Rhiannon when an unwanted suitor is vying for her attention, or when Aster is having trouble with controlling her iron teeth coming out on instinct. Dorian is fairly lax with his daughters, but always tries to keep them in line when it comes to their heated arguments that devolve into full on fights. He helps Rhia with navigating her role as the heir to Adarlan, and he does what he can to teach Aster to control her powers. Rhiannon is the kid who they love but worry for, as most of her life she’s spent vying for her uncle and grandmother’s approval despite it being hard to gain, and they’re proud of how mature she is. Aster has many faults compared to their sister, but they love each and every one and are the reason she tends to be very self confident, since they taught her to love herself despite what others cared about, including Rhiannon.

Lysaedion: To be fair, it isn’t very hard for Lysandra and Aedion to parent the twins. Aedion is the type of dad who captures every single moment involving Gavi and Adri, because he wants to be the best father he can be to them. He’s protective of his cubs, especially when it comes to how they may be regarded by someone when one or both accidentally shift. Lysandra is more of a mom who tries her best to give advice every moment she can, especially with relationships. Gavi and Adri are both mirror opposites, even in looks, so Aedion and Lysandra tend to be able to notice which is which in terms of their personalities. Aedion and Lysandra named their kids after Aedion’s parents, but have never pressured their kids into fitting a mold because they want their children to grow into their own people, the way they didn’t get to as children.

Chaorene: Chaol and Yrene never have to really worry about Kas, except for the moments when he decides to break the rules with Aster. They both know he’s in love with her, and try their best to help him with navigating his feelings without putting his duties as the future Captain of the Guard first. Chaol is the goofy dad type, joking around with his son in an attempt to ease up with how he used to be. Yrene is definitely the mom who knows her son top to bottom. She knows if he’s going to sneak out, she knows where he frequents during his breaks, and she’s always aware of when he goes to spend time with Aster. Is it overly protective? Oh most certainly. Chaol and Yrene both love their son unconditionally, especially because he was a light in their lives after the war ended, and hope that one day they can welcome Aster into their family too.

Nestaq: Nesryn and Sartaq are very stern parents, but not the kind of stern where they expect their kids to be perfect. It’s the kind of stern where they wish for their kids to have good morals and try to steer them from looking down on others, the kind where just because they live in a palace they aren’t lazy and know how to defend themselves and do work for themselves. Nesryn and Sartaq want their kids to live their lives focused on themselves instead of on who becomes the future Emperor/Empress.

[thegreymoon]

Salty Ask list: 9. Most disliked arc? Why?, 20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?, and 27. Least shippable character? The saltier the better!!!

Thank you for the ask, anon!! 💜💜

OK, I will answer both 9 and 10 (because the most disliked arc is no. 10 😅) I have already answered some of these earlier, so I will copy/paste those, if that’s OK! 

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

For Merlin:

Agravaine. He’s just the worst. So greasy and sleazy and just, yuck. Yuck, overall. He’s not even one of those characters one can love to hate, like, for example, Uther, who is also simply the worst, but who will preoccupy you in ways you never saw coming! When it comes to Agravaine, everything about him was so thoroughly hateful, frustrating and unenjoyable, the highlight of the entire season was finally watching him go splat against the wall! The second most hated is that girlfriend of Gwaine’s at the very end that was plying him for information. That entire sequence is just so mind-numbingly infuriating, I can’t even think of it without getting angry. It almost ruined Gwaine for me entirely.

For The Untamed:

Oh, finally an easy one!! 😂😂 Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu are in a tight race for the first place here and who is winning depends entirely on who I’m looking at in that precise moment! Of course, Wen Ruohan and Wen Xu can get into the hate bucket too, but they were so bland and boring, they cannot really compare. Jin Guangshan is also the worst, I can’t stand him. The only reason I hate the Wens more is that Jin Guangshan is actually a competent villain on a higher scale of villainy than the previous lot. Jin Zixun is also awful, a ridiculously unredeemable character on every front and Su She can also have an honourable mention.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

For Merlin: 

Oooh! There are so many!! But I think the ones that I rant about the most often are those related to Gwen! Everything about Gwencelot makes me rage! I dislike him and how he treated her and just do not see this epic ~love~ there, at least not on his part, yet they kept bringing him back to mess up her life over and over again. 

Mind you, I am not the biggest fan of Arthur in this context either, he was a terrible boyfriend (though a somewhat better husband because Merlin picked up the slack), even though Arwen >>> Gwencelot by miles and miles. I hated how he would break up with her every five minutes over nonsense and then come crawling back. I hated how she always immediately forgave him, all grateful and relieved, and I always felt like she didn’t really have a choice because the power imbalance between them was staggering. Plus, the fact that she was the one who nursed Uther in his last months after everything he had done to her, and that Arthur had let it happen, infuriates me to no end. 

My loathing for that whole cheating arc is infinite. I hate how the writers could not make up their minds about what they wanted to do with her. On the one hand, they were such cowards in their attempts to keep her ideologically pure, they had already sacrificed a lot of her quirkiness and character to suit Arthur’s needs and wants and to make him look good, so they were reluctant to have her actually cheat because it would undermine him. I don’t understand why they even had to have that entire arc if they were so afraid to go there. She was supposed to be under mind-control, and then they pointed out that the spell works by bringing suppressed emotions to the forefront! Why was that necessary? I mean, you can’t have it both ways! Either do it and own it, or just leave it alone! It would have been so easy to have her choose Lancelot and develop a proper romance there, and then to have Lancelot die, and Gwen fall in love with Arthur afterwards, as he supports her while she grieves. But, no, they had to take this cheap shot at her and humiliate her and have her cleaning pigsties just so that Arthur can angst about it for a few episodes. I am forever mad. 

I also dislike the whole evil!Gwen arc (though a part of me did enjoy watching her go apeshit after quietly swallowing so much injustice throughout the entire five seasons of this show). I feel like they were intentionally undermining the character and her entire relationship with Arthur. The whole cheating nonsense so late into season 4 had already done so much damage, then they went and pulled this poorly-thought-out crap in the second half of season 5, when emotions were already running high and nobody was in the mood to be forgiving of someone trying at and almost succeeding in killing Arthur, who was so much more beloved among the viewers than her. Just imagine how much better spent that time would have been if they had... oh, I don’t know, developed Mordred more and given him a proper reason to turn against Arthur! 

Ugh 😒

For The Untamed: 

I dislike the whole Yanli/JZX romance. I don’t know what he’s like in the novel and the other adaptations, but he gets on my very last nerve in the drama and I never actually saw him do anything meaningful to redeem himself for all the crap he pulled and all the humiliation he piled on to her. I also don’t like the whole Yin Iron nonsense. It just doesn’t tie in properly and the plot holes and inconsistencies it leaves behind are gaping and huge (but, happily, nobody is watching this for the Yin Iron plot 😆). There had to have been better things to do there, especially since it is something that does not exist in the source material. The worst parts of the drama for me somehow always tie back to the Yin Iron. 

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

For Merlin:

Hmmm… when it comes to the most popular ones, I think none of them, because they all get complicated and dark to some degree. But on a platonic level, when it comes to friendships, I would go with Merwen, Merlance and Merwaine. Merlin and Gwen are delightful together, but I have a hard time shipping them romantically without Arthur, there is just no path forward for me there that does not involve him too, and that tips the dynamic into something much more complicated (but still happy for all three of them because I am so not down for jealousy and competition between Merlin and Gwen, Arthur has two hands and he can damn well use them). 

I also think that Lancelot’s love for Merlin was pure, but I just don’t ship it at all and think that there was never anything there except for friendship (I can see Arlance going sexual, though). The same goes for Gwaine, I think that he loved Merlin unconditionally, and as far as friendship goes, it is pure, but if I ship them sexually, then all purity goes out of the window, not just as far as the sex is concerned (because the sex they would be having would be positively filthy) but also because I just can’t imagine a universe in which Merlin does not love and desire Arthur more. The angst, the pain and the darkness are off the charts.

As for the less popular ones, I think the purest is Percival/Elyan regardless of whether you see it as romantic or platonic. There is just so much mutual love, admiration and respect between them! No angst, no lies, no triangles, no drama, just taking care of and supporting each other and living in domestic bliss.

For The Untamed:

WangXian, no contest. They fell in love as kids and continued to love each other for the rest of their lives, even beyond death. The way they love each other is so absolute and so selfless! They both respect and admire the other, they are so supportive and accepting of each other, quirks, flaws and all, and they kind of set the gold standard as far as relationships go!

27. Least shippable character?

For Merlin: 

Eh... this is a tough one. I actually had to step away from this question and think about it and I didn’t come up with anything because the entire main and recurring cast is very shippable. There are, however, characters that aren’t shipped as much as they could be (Elyan, baby, you deserve better 😢), and then there are also characters that result in unsavory ships that are best left unmentioned (but because these are salty asks, I am going to mention them anyway). 

The first one that came to my mind was Gaius, but he is actually very shippable because there is no rule that says you have to ship him in the canon timeline. He has a serious canon het love interest, and a crack one as well. Also, let’s not forget Uther. I’ve seen the fandom float this one as a crack ship, but it is actually very serious and plausible. There is so much complicated history there, decades of it, and definitely a deep, albeit toxic relationship that can absolutely be (and likely even was) sexual. If I was less busy and more inclined to get anon hate, I would totally be open to writing it myself.

I have seen a lot of people list Uther as an answer here, but Uther is very, very shippable! Anthony Head is handsome and charismatic, and he has so much presence as Uther, he could have chemistry with drywall if the script called for it. Again, there is no rule stating that a ship should be wholesome and happy, so let me go over the most obvious ones. When it comes to m/m ships, I already mentioned Gaius, plus I definitely felt it whenever the neighbouring kings came over to visit Camelot (my personal favourite was Lord Godwyn). Uther also has three canon het ships (why, yes, I am counting the troll), most notably Ygraine and Viivienne, and he is 100% shippable with Nimueh (though I prefer Nimueh with Ygraine). Last but not least, there is Morgana. It is squicky incest, yes, but it is also very obvious, if you have the inclination to go there. My jaw was on the floor on my first watch when he confessed that she was his actual biological daughter, because up until then, I totally thought that things would get sexual between them in canon. 

Agravaine is also an obvious (I would even go as far as to say a semi-canon) ship for Morgana. Do I hate it? Yes. Do I think she slept with him to get him to deliver her Arthur’s head? Again, absolutely, yes. Even Kilgharrah is very shippable and he is a giant firebreathing lizard (obviously, laws of physics require transmorphing him into something smaller and (hopefully) human-shaped for the p0rn). 

For The Untamed: 

Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan. I am forever mad Jin Zixuan (somehow) ends up having sex in canon anyway. My first thought for this was Wen Chao, but no, he is absolutely shippable. Like I said, the ship does not have to be nice, and Wen Chao is very nasty, but also very sexual (plus, there is always Wen Zhuliu).

The one character that I personally am the least inclined to ship is Wen Ning because he is so childlike and it feels like he never mentally developed into an adult. 

Salty Asks

[nad-zeta]

Match up ^o^

May I request a Match up, please?

I’m at the part when I have to choose a route and I honestly don’t know/care. So I decided why not let some lovely internet stranger choose for me? Who do you think I would pair the best with?

I also noticed how much effort and detail you put into these so I decided that it was only fair to try to put in just as much effort in requesting. Or maybe I am just extremely vain so blabbering on this much about myself comes naturally (I also wouldn’t be too suprised if this were the case lol). Either way, I apologise for this getting so long. And without further ado, let’s learn about yours truly. Uh, yay?

I will start with my physical appearance because that’s easiest.  

First of all, I am rather tall for a woman. Pair that with the fact that I constantly wear boots with 8 centimetre or greater heels and I almost always cap out somewhere above 182 centimetres (that’s 6 feet in American). So yes. I’m not exactly the approachable type, on the account of my height and near constant resting bitch face. I always look pissed off at something (and to be fair, I usually am).

I am a brunette with boring brown eyes. Nothing of note there. 

I prefer to walk on my toes, for whatever reason. I also have great posture when I walk and these two factors always make it seem like I am floating. I’ve been told that I always seem very confident and self-assured. Which is complete bullshit because 90% of the time, I am winging it. 

I am a dancer (of sorts. More on that later), so I am rather slim and toned. This is literally the only aspect of my physicality that I am actually confident in. The rest of me can burn in hell for all I care. 

I am also very touch adverse. I hate the feeling of skin touching my skin it grosses me touch. However. There are a select few people in this world that I accept and enjoy hugs and cuddles from (and who I could snuggle with for hours). If I let anyone cuddle me that means I trust said person unconditionally and feel extremely comfortable around them. It’s essentially the ultimate statement of trust.

Onto personality.

If you can’t already tell, I have about as much dignity as a wet cat. I while I certainly do have an ego, it can be kind of difficult to bruise. Publically, I am absolutely shameless and don’t give two shits about what others think. 

I have a tongue of steel and can rapid fire the most atrocious insults and comebacks when provoked. I’m known for my venomous sarcasm and biting wit among my own circles. I have a line for nearly every single situation so one-liners have become my thing. Which works out for me because I am a huge flirt.

I’ll flirt with pretty much anyone regardless of gender, I don’t give a crap. To clarify, it’s not because I am an attention whore (okay, yes. I am a complete attention whore), it’s because I am a theatre kid so excessive eye contact and sexual jokes are kinda where I thrive. I am also not afraid to get questionably lascivious with my flirting if someone tries to out-pace me. I never blush, I never falter, and I never let anyone know that they got the better of me. It shows weakness. 

Despite my salacious façade, I am not inherently a sexual person. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. I don’t experience sexual attraction (kudos to my asexual humans. I see you). This has rendered me practically immune to all charm, crushes, and sex appeal. It makes my life a lot easier, in my opinion. I don’t get too attached. I also enjoy messing around with the egos of fuck boys. 

As mentioned earlier, I am an attention whore. I love showing off because I crave validation (this could point to some deep seated insecurities about myself that I refuse to acknowledge…. Ahem). Being on stage as where I thrive. And yes, I am a dancer, as I stated earlier. But I am not your conventional prissy ballerina. I am a circus performer. More specifically, I’m an aerialist. I have covered trapeze, contortion (I am unnaturally flexible), lyra, and silks. It’s a lot of fun almost dying every day and finding bruises in the most questionable places (if you cant already tell, I am an adrenaline junkie. I took karate for the first dozen or so years of my life and have recently been searching for more weapons combat classes because apparently I don’t have enough bruises already).

I am not easily impressed. And I don’t give out compliments very often. And that includes myself. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself at times… most of the time. But then again, who isn’t? 

As for the side of me that isn’t stark-raving mad, I am usually a pretty objective person. While I have no qualms with discussing emotions (both mine and friend’s. I am a great listener and actually give pretty good advice when it comes to dealing with intense emotions). I tend to avoid letting them interfere with my logic. I look down on those who allow their emotions to dictate their actions. It makes them needlessly reckless. 

I am typically a pretty chill person. When I am among people I am unfamiliar with, I tend to stay quiet and try not to rock the boat too much (again, I won’t hesitate to unleash a severe tongue lashing upon any poor soul who happens to rub me the wrong way… Or just happens to exist. I don’t take shit from other people and I hate it when others try to control me. (I don’t play rough, I play smart). 

I really enjoy reading, writing, or drawing quietly. I can’t stand loud and excessive noises or people (parties, screaming, concerts). I am a true extroverted introvert. I love being the center of attention and chatting, but I need my alone time. People are exhausting to deal with. 

Because of my aversion to loud sounds, I tend to avoid typical dance parties like the plague. While I am very good with mingling and partying in general, I can only keep it up in short bursts before I have to retreat somewhere quiet. This is also the reason I greatly prefer the nighttime (if I had a choice I would sleep all day and only frolick around at night. I just love the dark. It’s comforting in a weird way). I also love the night because that’s when I get to sleep and just peace out on life. It’s kinda like non-committal dying.

I am near constantly on hyper-alert so I am not easily startled. When I do get startled, I have a tendency to squeak, yelp or growl. These noses are purely reactionary sounds but for whatever reason, my friends think that they are absolutely adorable and will go to great lengths to startle me just to hear me make them.

To counteract my friend’s malevolence, I have learnt to be super observant, especially when I feel threatened. Usually, I am caught up on my own world and thoughts. I have an imagination so powerful that I can trick my brain into feeling false sensations such as an extra limb or falling. I much prefer to spend my time in my head rather than our boring reality. But if I feel threatened, or think that another attack is imminent, I instantly become hyper aware. These moments of lucidity enable me to make certain observations others would otherwise be overlooked (for example. I was able to tell when my professor lost her wedding ring due to the discoloration around her ring finger and the habitual and near-constant worrying she did at it. I offered to help her look after class ^.^. I admittedly felt kinda smug when I saw her surprise.) Ironically enough, I like to refer to this mode of thinking as “Sherlocking”. I can be quite the detective when I really try. 9 out of 10 times my friends will come to me when they suspect infidelity, I am pretty good at digging up dirt. 

However, I have to make the conscious decision to do this, usually when I am trying to figure someone out or manipulate them into liking me. So this isn’t constant and usually I go about my day like everyone else, blissfully unaware of my surroundings.

Uhh, there is probably more I could cover but this is getting very long as-is and you are probably forcing yourself to get through my seemingly eternal ramblings. So I am going to stop here and go grab myself some food. 

Best of luck to you,

-November

Hi there love!<3 you sound like such a cool interesting person! ^_^ Hehehe I probs took so long with this match up that you already chose a new route lol! Anyways thanx for waiting soooooo long for this and I hope ya enjoy it love ^0^ ^_^

I match you with……………………… Masamune

Honestly, it was between Masamune and Mitsuhide for me lol but i eventually decided to go with Masamune 

The first time Masamune sees you, his eyes go wide in awe, like wow you are one tall fine lady! He has legit never met anyone so tall. After you were named as chatelaine, you stayed behind with some of the warlords to chat and get to know them better, you are after all going to be seeing their faces every day for the next 3 months. 

Right of the bat, Masamune is howling in laughter at the fact that you are way taller than Ieyasu. You, Masamune and Mitsuhide basically tease the poor porcupine for a solid 20 minutes. “My my I never expected such a scary-looking little mouse to be so bubbly and friendly.” 

Oooh, this boy just stared a war of wits. Today day was a good day cause your tongue of steel was rapidly firing witty words and sarcastic remarks at the resident kitsune. He almost couldn’t keep up, almost. Masamune was just standing there watching the whole scene unfold, you truly were going to be a lot of fun! Masamune decided to test out that tongue of steel of your and started firing some flirty pick-up line, while unbeknown to him you are the queen of one-liners, and have no shame when it comes lascivious flirting. Masamune, of course, never backs down from a challenge, and he was determined to make you blush. The conversation got so heated that it made even Hideyoshi blush on your behalf. You simply laughed and fired another one of your pick-up lines.

After the little chat in the hallway and a massive speech from mama bear for talking about things that were not PG13, cause of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*, you and Masamune become quick friends. He had never met a woman before that was immune to his boyish wild charm, and handsome sexual appeal. Masamune was definitely popular with the woman, not as popular as Hideyoshi, but he was definitely a fuckboi. As surprised as he was, that his normal antics didn't work on you, his ego wasn’t dented one bit, it just made him more determined to get to know you. 

Masamune definitely finds your flirtatious nature attractive, especially when you managed to score the two of you free sweet bun just by flirting with the shop owner, he was, even more, shook when the shop owner was a woman, your flirtation truly knows no bounds. The two of you would spend loads of time together, just going out for tea and sweets while getting to know each other. TBH although Masamune would never admit it, he found it refreshing that you weren't just his friend simply cause he was hot or cause you wanted to climb in stations but because you actually liked him as a person. You and Masamune definitely made an unstoppable team when it came to banquets. The two of you would team up and start teasing everyone there. When you two cuties are together its always a good time with loads of laughter and banter

Masamune discovered that you like him, was an adrenaline junkie. He loved that he finally had someone around that would do stupid shit with him just for the thrill of it. The two of you would go out on adventures 24/7 jumping down waterfalls and hiking up cliffs. The two of you goofball would also dare each other to do the craziest shit. Like one-time Masamune dared you to jump off the castle’s roof onto your balcony, and you freaken did it, no questions asked. Or like the one time you dared him to put his head in Shogetsu mouth, mind you the little cub was now grown into a full-blown tiger

One day you and Masa went to go watch one of Mitsuhide’s undercover performances. The three of you were investigating a shady daimyo in one of the nearby provinces. The three of you disguised yourselves as performers and joined a circus troop as their new dancers. You were so excited, the stage is where you truly come alive. You had promised Masa to show him something that would shock/surprise him after he gave you the grand tour of  Azuchi. Today was the day, you had kept your dance and performances a secret from the two men, and now it was finally time to show them what you can do. You had 3 different performances planned. The first one was contortion. To say Masamune was shook would be an understatement he never knew anyone could be so freaken flexible, like wow. Your next performance was aerial dancing, his blue eye gleamed in delight, watching you move through the air so gracefully. If he wasn’t sure before he was sure now, this boy loved ya. But what really took his breath away was when you trapezed through the air, he was absolutely mesmerized at the way you flew through the air doing back-flips and other cool ass tricks. Masamune loved the look of pure joy on your face as you performed and after the show, you explained to him that you were a theatre kid back in the past. Mitsuhide definitely took note of your skills, and since that day you now accompanied him on most missions that required him to disguise himself as a performer.

Masamune loved everything about you at this point. Your overdramatic introvert/extrovert personality. The way you walked. Gosh, he loved the way you walked, it looked like you were an angel floating around wherever you went. He loved your banter and one-liner for every situation. And most of all he loved your hyper-alert side. Boy did he love to come up behind you to scare the crap outta you just so he could hear you squeak, yelp or growl. Like he lived for those adorably cute noises. And you somewhere along the line had fallen in love with the big idiot. He was always coming up with new fun adventures to go on or new fun things to do. He was one of those few people that could actually keep up with your banter

What was he most impressed with you may ask, well you Sherlocking skills of course. One day there were rumours of some super shady daimyos visiting Azuchi. Word on the street was that they were planning on stealing Mitsunari report to make the poor angel look bad. Mitsuhide was away sorting out some other plots and schemes, so it was now up to you to use your skills, to save the angel. You used your detective skill to gather evidence, and since your inner circle knew you were from the future, you were planning on catching them in the act and filming them for evidence. Masamune was always up for an adventure, so he acted as you own personal Watson. The two of you hid while watching the whole scene unfold, once they left the room the two of you came out. “What do you think they are going to do with the report lass,” he asked while his blue eye gleamed in delight. “Hmmmmm, I believe they are going to burn the evidence in the forest” you replied in your best British accent. Masamune couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you made your way to a secluded part of the forest and spotted them making a fire. Masamune looked at you curiously “How did you know they were going to be in this exact spot.” “Elementary, my dear Masamune.” He couldn’t help but burst out in laughter you really were a super fun kitten. Unfortunately for the two of you, they heard you guys laughing behind the trees and before you knew it, the two of you were surrounded. One of the men had a sword right at your throat ready to cut you open, that is when you shocked them by not backing down from the fight, you hit the sword away with one of your own gifted to you by your dearest one-eyed dragon. “ Point that sword at me one more time and i’ll slash your Achilles’ tendons, and TBH given the medicine situation of this time, no one would know how to fix your injury, so I hope you like hobbling around on one leg for the rest of your life cause that is what will happen.” These men were shook; meanwhile, Masa was next to you howling in laughter, “She’s not joking boys, this lass delivers on her threats.” You had never seen grown men run away from a fight so fast. You and Masamune picked up Mitsunari’s report that had fallen on the ground during the commotion and walked back hand in hand

You didn’t really like skin touching skin, but TBH you definitely like the warm feeling of Masamune’s hand warmed around yours. The two of you had come to fall in love with each other, and it wasn’t long before you two cuties entered into a relationship. Despite both of you being adrenaline junkies, both of you also loved your quiet times. Often you would sit together in his manor each doing your own thing. You would read and write, and Masamune would sit at his desk pretending to work (Cause admin is so freaken boring). 

The two of you would have the best time together during banquets you loved being the centre of attention and would chat with everyone, but as the night would progress you would start feeling a bit drained and that’s when the one-eyed dragon would swoop in, pick you up and takes you to a quiet corner where the two of you cuddle and snuggle together.

He would spoil you rotten with the most amazing food, he would basically, cook anything your heart desires just to see that beautiful smile on your face. His heart would always burst with affection whenever he cuddles and kiss you, he knew that the fact that you allowed him to cuddle you was the ultimate statement of trust between the two of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found causing mischief and giving Mamayoshi more grey hairs or cuddled together sharing stories of your day

Other potential matches............... Mitsuhide 

Hope u enjoyed it dear @november-solarstorms

[sepublic]

Origami and New Apex!

           …Y’know.

           I kind of half-expected Simon to, y’know…

           …But I didn’t expect it like THIS.

           When he fell I thought that was it! Perfectly karmic given what he did to Tuba! But then Grace saved him, and I was like… Dude there’s no way you can truly hate her now, she just stuck her neck out for you after you tried to KILL her, she genuinely wants and cares for you as a person and even if she doesn’t always get along she wants to make up for what she did and she wants to see YOU be happy and alive, just for your sake!

           …So in all honesty YEAH, Simon deserved to die for kicking Grace off anyway. She couldn’t even threaten his position with his top number.

           And, like… I was FINE with the idea of him being separated from the rest, and forced to figure things out on his own away from others he could hurt! At the very least I wasn’t outright opposed to the idea of Simon having a redemption, but also coincidentally getting the shit beaten out of him everyday, somehow, because Fate decrees that as karma!

           Well. All I can say is that Tuba is probably fortnite-dancing in heaven over this, so! I guess I can’t be TOO sad…

           …And Grace. OHHHH Grace you messed-up person. You are SO messed-up, it’s genuinely surreal seeing people like Tulip, Jesse, and Lake be happy at the end; Like sure Grace may have sicced Mace and Sieve upon Lake, but Lake got the last laugh in that she’s actually happy and not haunted by the guilt of the objectively-horrible things she’s done!

           It’s really wild seeing that the ‘denizen’ who chased Grace was actually just the Steward, who can fly now…? Regardless, finding out that Amelia didn’t even knowingly interact with Grace, and the circumstances of seeing her arm reach out from the pod… It makes a lot more sense what happened, as well as the idea of Grace –not too far off of the spot- assuming Amelia was the Conductor and a man, because why would she be hiding her voice? Who would she be hiding it from?

           (Plot twist: She’s not hiding her voice, Amelia is instead trying to listen to someone else’s…)

           But yeah, it says a lot more about why Amelia does not feel any guilt at all, and while I wouldn’t put it past her character to forget an interaction with some child… It also makes a lot more sense this way, that Amelia just had NO awareness of Grace in that situation whatsoever, but to a desperate and scared kid, she seemed like a god!

           And let me tell you, as someone who’s already watching another show with an abused kid who’s got emotionally-neglectful parents… COME ON, Grace looks beautiful in that dress! What kind of parent sees their kid happily playing dress-up and doesn’t want to cheer them on?! Or at least tell them, “If you don’t want to meet the ambassador right now, you can do your own thing! But Mommy and Daddy also have to do this, we’ll be right back with you!” Like jeez… Also, the revelation of the Infinity Train appearing indoors, and even dressing up its appearance to others!

           Now it just comes across as a cruel siren! Like it could appear RIGHT BEHIND me as I’m typing this… Remember when Book 1 was like, “Oh this train is scary… No wait it’s GOOD actually!” And then Book 2 said, “Okay this Train is imperfect, but ultimately it means well and does well in the end, right?” And then Book 3 was just, “Okay this train is just straight-up terrible. Jeez just let people figure out their issues in a normalway.”

           Hazel… poor Hazel. She deserves SO much better than this, she started off so happy and unconditionally loving, so innocent and pleased with Tuba, she didn’t WANT to leave and then all Simon and Grace did was take everything away from Hazel and leave her traumatized, cynical, and betrayed! She got NOTHING from her interactions with them, besides hanging around with Amelia I guess… But Amelia’s got her issues. I do agree though, she IS snappily-dressed, and hopefully these two can help each other…

           …I just wish Grace got to say sorry for straight-up ruining Hazel’s life though.

           Simon, oh Simon! I think The Cat saw this coming… If she heard the news, she’d be disappointed yet not surprised, and I think a part of her had come to terms with this inevitability by now. It says a lot that even after the memory of Grace being a kid and risking her own life to save him, amidst everything else, he STILL acted out of spite. I have to say, it’s interesting seeing that Ghom flying around, when normally they’re always buried in the dirt of the wasteland!

           In Book 1, Tulip accidentally led a Ghom onto the train and left it behind… Do some Ghoms get tired of waiting, or get stuck on the train in their pursuit, and start roaming around? Regardless, given this show’s allusions towards thing being fated, I have to wonder if it was just that; By the decree of Fate that a Ghom would just be randomly flying around at this point in time, at this SPECIFIC car…! Imagine if it was the same one that had chased Simon all those years ago.

           …Also JEEZ DID THEY NEED TO BE THAT GRAPHIC!?! I knew HBO Max was a way for the writers to tackle more mature things, but this was straight-up a SKELETON, this was out of Indiana Jones or something! Owen wasn’t thinking, “Is this too far…?” When writing Simon’s death. He was thinking “Is this FAR ENOUGH…?”

           I’ve had past speculation before that passengers who die are reincarnated into denizens. It seems like the Ghom was about to transform or something when it poofed… Either way it was clearly made with some purpose in mind, because what creature would choose to feed on something if doing so would result in its death? It’s clearly another programmed feature of the Infinity Train with a horrific purpose…

           …That could’ve happened to Tulip also-

           Not so sure about Lake, Mace, and Alan Dracula since they’re denizens, but alas. Regardless I have to wonder if the Ghom teleported somewhere and transformed into a denizen, if Simon was reborn as one as penance for sins too high to count, like others before him… If he’ll atone for his past life by helping others heal, since he clearly could not heal himself! Maybe we’ll see a denizen in a hypothetical Book 4 with a voice just like Simon’s, in a situation similar to Terrance the Toad…

           Maybe that’s who Terrance was, a passenger so awful and beyond redemption that he was absorbed by a Ghom and converted into a denizen as a liability to others! And that him choosing to willingly offer himself up to be kicked by Jesse and Lake, just to see them get away and be happy… That was HIS redemption, which led to Fate allowing Terrance to escape his life of being kicked constantly! Sure he still gets kicked, but it’s an active choice and one he gets to benefit from, so can he complain?

           This season KILLED me. I want off the train. I’m really wondering if we’ll EVER see who made the Infinity Train, if it was even a person and not something that’s been around since the beginning of people and their issues themselves…

           …SERIOUSLY. If you have the money to spare, do it NOW, because you aren’t just paying to watch Book 3. You are LITERALLY PAYING for Book 4! You are literally, personally funding Book 4’s very existence by this point people! So if you want a resolution for poor Hazel, and maybe Amelia, and MAYBE a reconciliation between the two and Grace… YA GOTTA PAY! Because if you don’t then there’s a good chance that it’s not just you who doesn’t get to watch it, it’s everybody else!

           And I don’t meant to guilt-trip, I just want the situation to be understood, all right? So with that in mind…

           …Maybe until the next stop, you guys!

           (Also no One-One. We do get a badge shaped like him and those little robots similar in appearance, so it really is just Randall and The Cat who are constants here huh?”

[pokimoko]

STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE - Personal Commentary

I wrote this to send to a friend, but I decided I might as well post it on here. I did a large portion of this while I was watching the movie, but I did go back and improve on some parts after I was finished, so forgive the inconsistent tenses. I apologise for the length as well, which is a result of me getting completely carried away and analysing a lot of the movie (I bet my English teachers are cheering). Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my personal thoughts on the Steven Universe movie. (Also, spoilers if you haven’t already watched it.)

- The opening....wow. Not only is it pretty but it's just so dramatic. It reminds me quite a bit of old fashioned Disney musicals (I’m guessing that was their intention). Even the layout of the credits are giving me that vibe. But especially the music. Very fairytale-esque.

- 16 year old Steven, yeah booiii! Now he’s only a few years younger than me. I do like his older voice and design. Bet Zach Callison is relieved that he doesn't have to pitch his voice up high anymore. And I personally really love the pan flag colour scheme of his new outfit. I wonder if they’ll keep it for the season(s) following the movie.

- Aww, the Diamonds are learning. Sort of. They’re maybe just a tad clingy, but that's still improvement. I really love how Steven Universe never makes the 'villians' completely evil, only misguided, and that everyone is capable of changing their ways. Such a great message. (Edit: Ooohh, I unintentionally called what I'd say is the moral of the movie. Noice.)

- Naaww, Steven and Connie are so cute. Steven's happy little grin after the kiss was just adorable.

- Oooh, I like the 'Here We Are in the Future' (Edit: 'Happily Ever After') song. It just shows how much they've all grown over the course of the series. And it’s a great way to recap the journeys of each of the original Crystal Gems to the audience.

- "PEW PEW" Yeesss. I love their handshake. And oh my god, he really is so tall compared to Amethyst now.

- Oh my god, they're reenacting the running sequence from the opening. Love me a parallel. Just shows how far they’ve all come.

-Okay, why do the 'bad' guys in musicals always get such cool songs? Spinel's song was so catchy. Now I'm super curious about her relation to Pink Diamond. Oh cool! A scythe. That's awesome.....AH! Okay, nevermind. Nooo.

- 'Losing your powers' angst. I love it (yes, I know, I'm terrible).

- Greg: "Holy shhhhhheee really got everybody" Me: 😏 I see what you did there.

- Steven: "I have no idea what's going on." Greg: "Well now you know how I feel most of the time." Greg is so relatable sometimes. Kindly stop being my spirit animal, sir.

- AHHH! They've all been reset. Craaappp! And I was just going on about growth and everything! But I'm excited to see what happens because I love angst, god damn it. It always helps to make the happy ending all the more satisfying. (And...admittedly, the amnesia narrative device has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I’ve always enjoyed how it allows you to so clearly see how a character has evolved over time and how much their experiences have defined their identity.)

- "Something is clearly wrong," Pearl sings happily and bug-eyed. Excellent and relatable. That's how I react to most things in life, honestly.

- "I could have lost all of my character development." Ha! Never subtle, are you Peridot? But also nooooo, not Peridot. Don't you dare touch her. She's grown so much and I love her dearly (and also Lapis' top notch dark humour. Perfect.)

- Sad song reprise is sad. I totally understand what Steven is feeling too. Things you’ve gotten so used to (hell, maybe even become dependent on for your emotional welbeing) can disappear so quickly that it can be quite a whiplash to have it gone, so it's completely normal to struggle to accept it, and to yearn for what you had not so long ago.

- Bismuth saying “We are the Crystal Gems” has watered my crops and cleared my skin. And I love her singing voice; the roughness in some parts suits her character so well.

- Rupphire Rupphire RUPPHIRE GAAAARRRNNNEEETTT, yiissss! Wow the fusion animation is really awesome. It's like a behind-the-scenes on how it works from their perspective. But I love how the two of them fusing together doesn't fix Garnet's memories or make her exactly how she was before losing them. Garnet isn't just an experience; she's also a product of her experiences.

- Lil' trumpet salute! Naww, Pearl, that's adorable.

- ....is Onion....immortal? He still looks exactly the same. 😟 I'm unnerved by that child and whatever power he had.

- Oooh, tap dancing. I love tap dancing! Even if Steven is wearing sandals while doing it. Oh boy, I love the friendship between Amethyst and Steven. It's always been one of my favourite things in the show. It's kind of like the sibling interaction I've always wished to have myself: supportive and wholesome. And I also love how their fusion shows that platonic and familial love is just as powerful as romantic love. Oh, YAY Amethyst is back! Like I said, friendship is a powerful thing.

- Oh my god, Steven and Greg are going to fuse. Ahhhh! Oh wow, it's basically Elvis with a six pack! Hehehe, so weird. But not bad either. And, oh wow, what a great song! Individuality is my kink.

- The ANGST is making me feel emotions. Steven looks so ragged, and the high pitched whining in his ears definitely added to that. And having felt that terrible myself a few times, I know how much it frigging sucks. And just like him I brushed other people's concerns off, so I'd be a hypocrite to tell him to take care of himself. (But I am a hypocrite. Take care of yourself, Steven!)

- Yep, here's the tragic backstory to make me sad about Spinel. Hit me where it hurts why don't you. Gosh, Pink Diamond really did some messed up things when she was younger (but thankfully she evolved from that and changed to become Steven). Leaving someone behind without giving them closure or even a reason would mess someone up for sure. You'd feel completely worthless. And unfortunately, being noticed for any reason⁠—good or bad⁠—is generally a way to cope with that feeling. Spinel is doing what she can to deal with what Pink did to her, and that unfortunately involves lashing out and hurting others.

- The 'True Kinda Love' song! Knew it'd turn up at one point. Knowing the context makes it so much better too. And hell yeah, Garnet is back!

- Blood? On this Christian Server? It's more likely than you think.

- “This is the story of my life.” Ahh! Steven's just a kid, and he's gone through so much. But, I gotta say, he is absolute proof that having a rough childhood and being a flawed person in the past (*cough* Pink Diamond *cough*) doesn't condemn you to being a wicked person forever. Anyone, regardless of their circumstances and experiences, can be a good person. Your early years don't define your identity or what will become of your future.

- Spinel: “When you change, you change for the better. When I change, I change for the worse. I used to be just not good, just not good enough for Pink. Now I'm not good at all!” Damn. That's powerful. Trauma can be such a difficult thing to overcome, and some people lose their way in their attempt to leave it behind. Sometimes, though, growing doesn't mean changing yourself and erasing the past; sometimes it means accepting the parts of your past that made you who you are now. Showing the importance of past experiences through the Crystal Gem's recovery of their identities is such a smart way of showing this concept to the audience. Such a great analogy. Now, let's hope Spinel can accept that though she has been changed as a result of her trauma, that doesn't make her ‘bad’ or unworthy of love (because that’s just not true!)

- “There's no such thing as happily ever after”. Sad but true. And also turning the whole Disney vibe the movie began with in on its head. Very smart.

- Steven: “I'll always have more work to do”. Then, Spinel: “I've got work to do. Friendship isn't going to be easy for me. I'm gonna have to work at it”. Exactly. That's how it is. ‘Happily ever after’ is a stagnant concept, and staying the same person for the rest of your life isn't healthy. And deciding to work towards improving yourself can sometimes be the hardest step to take when it comes to overcoming trauma. But change can be good; you should always keep working on improving yourself, no matter how comfortable you are with who you are and where you're at. Evolution is a part of living.

- Ooooh, White Diamond got sassy. She even has the hand gestures down. She’s making up for all the years she spent T-posing.Good for her.

- Oh my gosh, the focus on the Diamond's hands! Instead of destroying, their holding a hand out in a gesture of friendship. Seriously, that's frigging growth. That's such a cool parallel too. Rebecca Sugar and her crew are just brilliant.

- I'm so glad the Diamonds got someone to love and help them through their grief, and Spinel got someone to love her unconditionally, regardless of the flaws she thinks she has. They all got someone to help them heal. That’s wonderful.

- “I can make a change.” 👏Yes👏you👏can! That's your superpower.

Damn, that was so wonderful! I've always loved the message of personal growth, and the movie did it so well. In my opinion, Steven Universe has always been great at analogies to explain real life things (ie. Malachite being a metaphor for toxic relationships) so I really like how they used to amnesia narrative device to show not only how much someone can change and grow over time, but also to show it's our experiences, good and bad, that shape us as a person. Lots of people have traumatic experiences in their life that can inadvertantly shape a lot of their personality, and it can be hard to leave that behind, especially if so much of your identity is dependent on those experiences. Sometimes they can lead us to becoming ‘bad’ people, but they can also help make us good people too. Just look at Steven! He was able to accept his past traumas and use them so as to help others heal their own. 

Trauma isn't something you can erase without erasing a large part of your identity. It can be tough to live with, nonetheless. Sometimes, like Spinel, you just need a helping hand in accepting the scars life has given you; to help you grow beyond it and maybe even eventually be able to help others who are going/have gone through similar experiences.

And there's no shame in trying to be better and failing over and over again. At least you are trying. Because trying to be good against all odds, against the whole world doing its best to destroy you, shows just how strong you really are.

-----------

Sorry for getting flowery (and maybe just a tad projective). As you can see I just really like the moral of the movie, as well as pretty much every other aspect. I'm sure there's a lot of little intricacies I missed, but this is what I took from my first viewing of it. And these are just my opinions; you might have got a whole different vibe from the movie. You are completely welcome to add you own thoughts and improve upon mine (because I am by no means an expert).

So, to summarise my own thoughts on the movie, I’m just going to say: Personal growth for the win!

[disneydarlin]

The Lessons in Love & Relationships From Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

At some point, Disney acquired the French TV show Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir. Since then, the series has been played on Disney Channel worldwide. Now, Disney+ will be streaming the show on top of the series specials. The series has produced some great characters. Its widely creative show also teaches several amazing lessons to kids. Most of these lessons revolve around the shows main theme of love. When people think of love, romance often pops into their heads. However, love comes in many forms and applies to all different kinds of relationships. Miraculous is a show which explores all of this along with the positives and negatives of love too. Disclaimer: This article contains spoilers to the TV snow.

Family

Blood-ties don’t automatically mean all parents/guardians and children love each other. Family love can be as complex as any other form of love. A good example of this is Marinette’s parents versus Adrien’s father. Marinette’s parents have been shown to be completely supportive of whatever their daughter does to the point they will change their entire lives in support of her dreams. Meanwhile, Although Adrien’s father has been known to care about his son, Gabriel’s love has limits. Gabriel won’t go out of his way to support his son’s choices in life. Rather, he prefers to keeps his son under his thumb even if it means breaking his heart and sheltering him from others.

Friendship

Making friends is hard, keeping friends is harder, but good friends are supportive even if their stay is temporary. Marinette has many friends, but none of them go out of their way to push her into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. Instead, Marinette’s friends are always there for her even when she messes up. As such, her friends help Marinette grow into a better person. Meanwhile, friends like Chloé can be toxic as Chloé has admitted to her mother how she only uses Sabrina in a manipulative relationship. In the end, Chloé only cares about herself. She will do anything to get what she wants; even to the point of hurting others.

Platonic Friendship

Some people only have a single friend. Others have many friends, but people always have one person who they cherish most of all as their best friend. Having a best friend is a platonic friendship. In Adrien’s case, he and Nino have one thing in common. It’s their morals of life in how they treat others. Sometimes that’s all two people need to be best friends as a means to enjoy each other’s company and support. In some cases, this kind of love can evolve into a crush and romantic feelings if the pair are lucky, but this isn’t always the case. Other times, people become friends, but one person loose the value of friendship once they decide to “trade up” for someone else “better” regardless of the healthy relationship they had with the previous person. Kagami, for example, threatened to do this to her friendship with Marinette because she refused to let go of a romantic love with Adrien.

Crushes

Marinette has a heavy crush on Adrien. Her feelings come across as obsessive to know everything about him, but this is a good sign Marinette’s feelings are capable of maturing. Showing interest in who Adrien is as a person, while also admiring his characteristics and personality traits, all help prove Marinette’s loving crush is genuine. This means Marinette is able to truly love Adrien romantically. As her feelings mature, she will one day learn to love him unconditionally and selflessly.

Passionate Love

Passionate love isn’t a bad thing. There has to be a bit of passion in every romantic relationship. This allows a couple to achieve unconditional and selfless love towards their partner through established loyalty and trust. However, some romantic love can contain too much passion to the point it’s toxic. In Gabriel’s case, he loves his wife, despite her currently being a coma, to the point to he has decided to neglect himself. By doing this, Gabriel has also neglected his relationship with his son. Now, Gabriel will do anything to gain his wife back, even if it means sacrificing everything and everyone.

Lust

Love is not lust. People can have aesthetic and physical attractions to someone they like, but if there’s no genuine feelings behind those attractions, then love isn’t present in their hearts. A good example of this is Lila’s feelings towards Adrien. Whenever Lila is around him, she isn’t interested in getting to know Adrien better. In fact, she doesn’t show an ounce of care towards Adrien as a person. Instead, Lila only sees Adrien for his looks. Thus, she often lies to stay close to him regardless if it hurts him or those Adrien cares about in his life.

Romantic Love

There are many examples of romantic love in this show. This is mostly highlighted with Adrien’s feelings towards Ladybug; however, Rose and Juleka’s relationship has been subtly brought to light. Although their relationship isn’t perfect and the couple make mistakes, Rose and Juleka do respect each other as individuals. They’re also caring towards each other’s needs. Due to how these two treat one another, this couple has a clear future together in an infinite and loving relationship.

Unconditional & Selfless Love

Adrien/Cat Noir have clearly held romantic love within their heart for Ladybug. By season four, Adrien’s feelings develop and mature into an unconditional love. In which, Adrien has made clear he can’t stop no matter how many times Ladybug rejects him. However, this doesn’t mean Adrien is rude or disrespectful towards Ladybug. At times, when this was the case, Cat Noir would correct his mistakes. These actions prove Cat Noir’s love is also selfless despite the pain it causes him. Unfortunately, finding love doesn't always mean finding someone to love them back. Love is all about learning to love someone for who they are as to respect their decisions and needs. This applies even if the person never receives the other person’s love in return. In doing this, it’s how people know their feelings of love and relationships are mature.

Self-Love

Love isn’t always about relationships with others and the feelings shared between them. The most important love of all is learning how to love oneself. People can’t learn to love another if they don’t love themselves first. However, this doesn’t mean anyone should become narcissistic and arrogant while embracing themselves. Luka is a good example of a guy who loves himself. He’s highly attuned to himself and others in his life. This is proven through how Luka always expresses himself through music. Despite the fact Luka loves Marinette, he knows not all love is meant to be and respects Marinette if she doesn’t love him. In the end, Luka knows not all rejection is personal to him. The young man will be fine on his own, as he’s always been, in being content with himself.

What do you think? In general, what are some of your ideas on love and relationships? Please share with me!

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

The good, the bad and the ugly; every one of my thoughts and headcannons surrounding Rachel Amber.

I’ve wanted to do this piece detailing exactly what I think of Rachel since episode three came out but haven’t had the time to actually sit down and write it but here it is. 

EDIT: This was a hell of a lot longer than I expected it to be so it’s going under a read more so it doesn’t clutter up the tag but I do encourage you all to read it.

I will start by saying even before Before The Storm I was an Amberprice shipper romantically over a Pricefield one (tbh they felt more like sisters to me). I didn’t think that they had the healthiest of relationships, but the dynamic intrigued me. However I will say that I definitely feel what happened with Max was an important factor to Amberprice happening just as Rachel was to Pricefield reuniting. To me, both relationships are extremely important and one is not better than the other, just different.

I also find it hilariously ironic that both sets of shippers pull the “Rachel/Max abandoned Chloe” argument because all three of these girls are a cautionary tale in appreciation. What I mean by that is that all three of these girls share the fact that they are too focused on one point in time to appreciate those in the other time periods of their lives.

Chloe is stuck in the past as shown by her mostly focusing on Max/her dad in Before The Storm and Rachel in Life Is Strange and not realising the good things she has in her present and could have in her future. 

Max is too focused on the present which is implied through her relationship with Chloe in both games. Like I’m sure there’s other factors including anxiety and guilt involved, but the fact that she moved past her friendship with Chloe to the point she doesn’t even attempt to get in contact when coming back to Arcardia Bay and yet struggles to see a future without her the minute she comes back into Max’s life implies Max is definitely someone who focuses on the present with smaller regard and appreciation of both her future and past. As an added point, how Max uses her power fits very well into this. It’s not until Chloe has a go at her about William dying that Max even considers to go back that far to try and “fix” the problem. Likewise with Kate, she never goes back to stop what happened or stop the bullying or anything. Like nearly every, it’s only that one present conversation Max rewinds as much as possible. 

Lastly, Rachel focuses too much on the future. This is mostly shown by the fact that she does anything she can do achieve her ideal future of leaving Arcadia Bay, something she thinks will solve all her problems. Chloe, Frank, Jefferson? Hell maybe even Nathan? When she first meets them, she sees ways out. Now I want to make it clear that this does not mean that she does not care about any of them. I 100% believe she loved Chloe and wanted that “perfect” future she thought she was going to have by leaving the Bay. We are also practically told that she cared deeply for Frank by the fact he has her bracelet which was heavily implied was given to him as a gift and sign of affection. While we are not shown it, it would not surprise me if she cared for Nathan and Jefferson too. To be honest, that’s something I didn’t pick up so well in Life Is Strange, but really did in Before The Storm. But either way, it can’t be denied that these people all had something to offer in terms of helping Rachel achieve the future she wanted. And in Jefferson’s case, it got her killed because quite frankly, he knew just how bad she wanted to get out and that he was her best chance at that point which I will talk about later. But once again, them having something Rachel felt she needed does not change that she cared for them. Likewise, I do not want to say that Chloe didn’t enjoy anyone in her present or that Max didn’t like Chloe and others in her past because that would be false. But all up with all three girls, it’s hard to deny that their focus on these time periods cost them in the long run.

Anyway, that was just some observations I’ve made on the three of them. The real reason I wanted to write this post was to focus on Rachel. During Life Is Strange, I made a post about how part of the reason I disliked Chloe was because she was exactly like me pre recovery. And to be honest, I never thought there was going to be another character I related to more in this series, even if it was the parts of me I dislike and or have killed over the years... Then Rachel Amber came along. As a whole, Rachel Amber has more in common with pre and post recovery me than most characters ever will. Her ambition, her fear and discontent of the mediocrity of everyday life, her need for love and acceptance and hell, even her ability to have people follow her and do what she wants both good and bad, a trait I’ve tried to repress in myself; all of it is what I see in myself.

Quite frankly, the major emotion out of that list that pushes Rachel is her discontent of the mediocrity of everyday life. She’s not a pessimist, not by far, but she always believes the grass is greener elsewhere and does everything in her power to get to that spot, only to realise the grass looks greener in another spot, hence the cycle continues. If I had to guess, I would say that her father caused this. Not with the way he treated her, because even if it doesn’t match well with Life Is Strange, it is clear that James adored his little girl... he may have done messed up stuff to keep her safe, but he did love her. Rose on the other hand... well it was very heavily implied in the game that he did not treat her well. I would guess that his love for her was conditional and he made that clear, even when at home. And when children see that at a young age, they often internalise it because their parents are such a big part of them. So it would not surprise me if Rachel began asking herself “If his love for her is conditional and she’s my mum, does that mean his love for me is too?”. Once again, I 100% believe James loved Rachel unconditionally even if his way of showing it was really fucked up, but the way parents treat each other impacts their kids whether they mean it to or not and his treatment of Rose impacted Rachel. And that’s where I guess she got her mindset of needing to be good at everything and wanting so desperately to escape so she didn’t have to be.

I also think that this is why she was so quick to believe James when he said Sera was her biological mother. Because it allowed her to sever that connection of how he treated Rose compared to how he treated her because they were no longer connected in her mind. And as messed up as it sounds, I think had she had the time to cool down and process it before going to track Sera down, it would have ultimately given her a bit of peace because even if it was only slightly, she would have been more confident in regards of her dad’s love for her. This goes without saying that I don’t think Sera was the piece Rachel felt she was missing. I think it was that resolution to the conflict of why James seemed to treat her well but not the woman she thought was her mum. Sera just happened to be the personification of that. It’s fucked up, but that’s just how I read it. I also want to say though, I hate how it was written that not one person said “Rose is your real mum too” or something of the sorts because damn it, that woman spent years raising Rachel which is the definition of a parent in my eyes.

Regardless of whether Sera or the resolve was the missing piece however, it wasn’t enough for Rachel. Because, and I hate to burst anyone’s bubble but, unfortunately the truth is not always a band aid that heals wounds. The damage had been done regardless or whether you told Rachel the truth or not. Hell, my guess is that she finds out regardless. And the thing is, for people like Rachel Amber, professional help isn’t always something that comes to mind or easy to access. You’d think it would be considering she’s from a wealthy family, but the truth is when you’re the girl who everything is going “right” for, few people ever want to help you without something in return or take your problems seriously, even psychologists themselves. Furthermore, she probably struggled with the fact she felt she had no reason to complain, something that could also be said for Before The Storm Nathan Prescott, and perhaps the reason they got close.

And that’s what Chloe offered Rachel. Sure, she also offered her a way out of town, but remember, Chloe doesn’t have that at the start of Before The Storm. All she had was herself, and that happened to be exactly what Rachel needed. Someone who didn’t see her as “Rachel Amber; HBIC, DA’s daughter, perfect person” but just “Rachel Amber, girl who wants to hang with me”. She offered a space where Rachel could be herself without expectation, assumptions or preconceptions of who she was. I mean Chloe romanticises it a lot just as Max and Chloe both romanticise their friendship partially due to Rachel’s popularity, but ultimately that’s how their friendship/relationship started; two people who needed somebody and were willing to give what the other person offered. 

I will say that I think Rachel deliberately chose Chloe in part because she was separate from the other aspects of Rachel’s life as Chloe didn’t go to school often and only had one mutual friend (Steph) with Rachel, and it’s unclear just how close Steph and Chloe were. I also think that gave the relationship an unequal footing emotionally because even though Chloe clearly had people who cared about her (Joyce, Steph, Mikey and even arguably David), she was so caught up in the past that she didn’t realise that and Rachel would have had to see that at some point. Meanwhile, while they may not have given her the distraction she wanted, Rachel was adored by most people and could leave the relationship without question of being alone. And that imbalance backed Chloe into a corner to do what Rachel said on more than one occasion because as much as Chloe pretends otherwise, she’s terrified to be alone. Now I want to make it clear that I do not think Rachel ever INTENTIONALLY manipulated Chloe, but you can unintentionally manipulate someone and I think that happened quite a bit due to miscommunication through Rachel not realising and Chloe being too scared to bring it up. I also believe that Rachel realised just how big the support gap was later on in the relationship and that’s why when she realised she needed something Chloe couldn’t give her, she chose to cheat rather than leave Chloe because I honestly believe she still loved her, just realised things weren’t working. I am not saying that that’s the right decision at all because it’s not, but if that was the case I would understand why she did it that way.

As for why Amberprice fell apart, I think dependant on the “true” last choice in Before The Storm, it came down to 2 - 3 things. Firstly, as I said earlier. if the ending where Chloe does not tell Rachel is meant to be cannon, I believe Rachel finds out anyway and holds passive aggressive hostility towards Chloe for not being honest with her which ultimately causes arguments and distrust between them. If the ending where you tell her is meant to be cannon, I don’t think this plays a role. Secondly, I think Rachel slowly realised just how depressed Chloe was and how unadept she was to help Chloe 24/7. And because I know that someone is going to come at me saying that I’m trying to say that mentally ill people are a burden, I’m saying this now; I’m not but not everyone is in the right mind frame to help others in their issues, especially severe emotional ones, and given Rachel was barely staying afloat herself, I think it’s pretty safe to say she was not. And finally, I honestly think Chloe was the one who decided not to leave Arcadia Bay earlier. My honest to god guess would be seeing as we saw David get physical with Chloe during Life Is Strange, she honestly believed he would do the same to Joyce if she left. Now I’m not saying David would have because it can honestly be argued either way, but I think regardless, Chloe believed he would and that’s what kept her at the Bay.

Out of those, I think the last one played the biggest role. Remember when I said Rachel is too focused on the future and discontent with the present? That leads me to believe that as much as she loved Chloe, she couldn’t see a happy future with her in the Bay because the Bay was a sign of mediocrity and same old same old for Rachel. Honestly, if I had to guess Rachel’s moon sign, it’d be Capricorn just like me because the Leo/Capricorn (yes I know she was a cusp baby but I’m going with Leo for this) mix is one filled with ambition and the need to be universally recognised, neither of which was being fulfilled for Rachel in the Bay. The thing with ambition though is for it to ever be completely fulfilled, you need to make sacrifices, and often they come in the forms of loss of relationships. So when Rachel realised that Chloe was showing hesitation towards leaving the Bay at that point, she freaked, thinking Chloe may not ever leave and did what she could to find another way.

And that’s where Nathan, Frank and Jefferson comes in. My guess would be Nathan was her first pick, but she quickly learned that any power to leave lay with Sean and Nathan was not in the position to ask. At this point, while I do think she cared about him and sympathised with him not being able to get help, I think she moved on to Frank. In terms of whether she loved Frank, I think she did purely because he has her bracelet. I think at the start Nathan’s words rang true about how she was using him to get away and then drugs when she realised he wouldn’t leave in hopes that would be enough to hold her over until she could leave. And for a while, I think it and the fact she fell for Frank was. But then it reached a point where it wasn’t again. I do think at this point she reevaluated her life and expectations, broke up with Frank and tried to make it work with Chloe or even tried to make it work with Frank, but it just wasn’t enough.

The problem was, she wasn’t the only one who saw that. A certain new photography teacher who happened to be a psychopath did too, and he used it to his advantage. Quite frankly, out of all of Rachel’s relationships, Jefferson has always been the one I’ve thought she cared about the least. And that might be strange considering he’s heavily implied he was the one who “changed her life” but changing someone’s life doesn’t have to be romantic. I honestly believe that the change either was or at least started as Rachel realising Jefferson had an interest in her and finally believing she found her ticket out of Arcadia Bay. Like out of everyone in the game who liked Rachel, Jefferson had the motive and means to leave whenever he wanted and she knew that. I think she thought she was going to outplay him by sleeping with him and getting him to take her to San Francisco for that trip or even LA just for general purposes before chucking the deuces and calling Chloe to convince her to join her. The issue was Jefferson was one smarter. Regardless of if Nathan actually killed her or Jefferson did and lied about it, Rachel was a plaything for him, just like every other girl who was taken to the dark room and he would have eventually discarded her and killed her had she threaten to speak up.

And that’s the tragic thing about Rachel Amber. Because yes, she made some bad and selfish decisions, but ultimately she was a complex, hurting and yet ambitious human being who just wanted to find peace and happiness that she (wrongfully but still) felt so strongly could only be found in a future away from the Bay to the point she never fully found it with those she loved and who loved her in her present.

[portbayrp]

                                  ABOUT THE CHARACTER.

★ ━  ( candice patton,   cis-female,   she/her )  ━ ★   just to be clear, ya didn’t get this information from me.   The person you’re lookin’ for is     EVELYN LUCIA MASTERS.   also known as     EEVEE.    Last I heard she was born on   APRIL 7TH, 1988    in    SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS,   but she’s been livin’ in   RICHMOND,    for about    EIGHT MONTHS.    Word around the districts is, this doll,    EEVEE   can be    VENGEFUL,   SELF-RIGHTEOUS,   &    A KNOW-IT-ALL,   but i gotta tell, ya, alls I seen is good things, like the fact that she’s   RESILIENT,   CHARISMATIC,    &     ENERGETIC.   I guess that depends on how well ya know ‘em, though.   the last thing ya need to know is that she works as an   A-LIST ACTRESS & is a CO-OWNER OF EXCALIBUR COMICS.  I don’t know much about what that’s all about but I do know that’s all I can tell ya the rest you gotta find out on ya, own.    ━     ( ooc:  maddie,   pst,   28,   she/her )

                            BIOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING…

growing up she was exposed to;

By nature, Evelyn’s parents were selfish, career-obsessed people. If ever two people should not have had kids it was them, but unfortunately, they did. Their children were raised mostly by nannies that came and went and occasionally her grandfather would step in and help when he could. He, a lot of the time, besides her siblings, felt like the only one who truly loved her unconditionally and put her feelings first.

Truthfully, Evelyn has no memory of her mother ever holding her, hugging her, kissing her, making sure she was okay or even just telling her that she loves her, unless there was either a camera in her face, her grandfather was around, or she needed something from her. Miranda’s love was conditional. If Eevee wasn’t succeeding or being successful she didn’t receive it or any of the attention she deserved as a child. No, from the moment she was born she had to earn it. Like it was some sort of reward for being beneficial and her entire childhood Eevee tried. She tried so hard to earn that love. She went to every singing lesson, every dance lesson. Competed in pageant after pageant. Went to every audition without complaint. She succeeded and thrived and did everything she was asked to do for crumbs and morsels of affection from the woman who was supposed to love her and was never good enough.

Joseph on the other hand was a different story. He loved all of his kids. Took care of them financially made sure they would want for nothing. Made sure they knew he loved them, but he was never around. There was always some movie, or some project or anything that had to do with career came first. A memory that sticks with Eevee to this day is a distinct memory of her 7th birthday her dad promised to take her and her sister to Disneyland. He promised he would be there. The day came and they were so excited today was the day. Miranda thinking her at this point in time ex-husband was going to have their kids left for a spa trip. Their grandfather took their brothers for the day cause Joseph had promised. But, they waited and waited and the girls spent the entire day alone in the house by themselves, forgotten and lonely and only with each other to celebrate and you’d think that would be the messed up part but no. Their dad hadn’t forgotten he just got the date wrong. The next morning he showed up with cupcakes and presents and wished them a happy birthday and asked them if they were ready for Disneyland and instead of telling him, he was wrong that it was yesterday and not today Eevee and Guinevere didn’t correct him and pretended it was their birthday and went to Disneyland. It would have been a great day if halfway through the day their father wouldn’t have gotten a call and he wouldn’t have left them to spend the rest of the day at Disneyland with their driver.

That was the first time Eevee ever experienced true heartbreak because it made her realize her dad would try and make promises and then always without fail, disappoint her. So outside of days with her Grandfather, her older brothers, her twin sister, and eventually her little brother, growing up for Eevee was work-filled and lonely.

where her passions reside;

For a woman who spent most of her childhood with this idea that you have to earn someone’s love, she’s passionate about freely giving love away to people and being openly loving toward her siblings and her friends. She'd do anything to protect anyone that she cares about. She’d do anything to protect anyone who was being hurt or harmed in any way. She’s passionate about her platform as a Black woman and standing up and advocating for Black people and the little Black girls who look up to her, who watch her shows and see her in roles and in spaces usually reserved for white people. She advocated for Black makeup artists, black hairstylist, Black producers, Black writers. Just  Black people to fill spaces because it’s not enough to have Black actors and Actresses you need people behind the scenes who look like them and can relate to the struggle. She’s passionate about doing the right thing when it matters for people who matter to her. She’s also passionate about her place in the LGBTQ+ community and she uses her platform to constantly speak up for them. It is a human right to be who you are. It is a human right to be proud of who you are. It is a human right to be treated with decency regardless of your sexual preference or lack of sexual preference or how you identify and know who you are regardless of the bullshit that is the gender construct. She’s passionate about therapy and seeking help for mental health issues. As someone who has been through boundless trauma, she’s so thankful for therapy, for treatment, and advocates hard that mental health treatment is a human right that everyone needs. When she was 19 she, started her own charity, outreach program, and opened youth hostels that finance and help struggling youth in the LGBTQ+ community by providing them with shelter, food, and treatment for health issues both mental and physical. She’s passionate about Comic Book characters and cartoons and sy-fy. She’s passionate about musical theater. She’s passionate about her career. She’s passionate about so many things. Passion runs through her veins like a fireball. 

[changesxnight]

excessively detailed headcanons - Dallas

What does their bedroom look like? - messy as hell. his bed sheets are stained and ripped. his mattress has broken springs, making it really uncomfortable to sleep on - he's too broke to get a new one so he just deals with the back pain - there's posters on the walls of bands and singers he likes, all country or rock - he has a closet but he's too damn lazy to actually hang up his clothes so he puts them in piles

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often? - bitch you thought - the most exercise he gets is running from the cops - you think he's can be an active smoker and actively exercise?

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy? - go out and dine and dash like the asshole bad boy he is

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) - what is clean - he shaves once a week "cause he's blond" - his showers are hot as hell. it literally burns his skin but he loves it - it's practice for burning in hell

Eating habits and sample daily menu - he eats when he's hungry - likes finger foods the most - eats non-finger foods with his hands - loves burgers and pizza - but New York pizza is the best and WILL complain about any pizza that isn't from the city

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time - drinking or smoking - or picking up hot chicks and banging those hot chicks - wasting time is all he ever does - he's also really good at horseshoes?? - he loves bowling and pool and makes most of his money from his pool games

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging - it's Treat Yo Self day everyday expect it's stealing

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? - all of them - but it's the 60s and no body believes in mental illness cause you'll get a lobotomy :)

- okay but really - definitely borderline personality disorder - and possibly separation anxiety. but he had to learn how to live on his own so he doesn't get attached

Intellectual pursuits? - you think he does anything school-like on his own? - he tried to write a book in seventh grade but he got too frustrated

Favorite book genre? - he doesn't read - but I guess historical fiction / non fiction - let him hear about the Wild West - Billy the Kid was his hero

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general? - he grew up in areas of lots of diversity so he's chill with everything - he's probably bisexual - but very, very closeted

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) - he's constantly getting hurt but he never treats his injuries properly - "oh no!1! they'll have to cut my side off!1!" kinda attitude - his knuckles are always cut up and gross - alcohol cleans the soul and the body from infections or attachment - he has lots and lots of scars from bloody knife fights to his abusive father

- I could see him being lactose intolerant but he eats diary products anyway because he hates himself

Biggest and smallest short term goal? - smallest would be getting another pack of cigarettes but he steals them every day - biggest would be winning the pool tournament down the street at Charlie's

Biggest and smallest long term goal? - biggest would be moving back to New York - or at least seeing the gang again - smallest? getting a car, maybe - an not just stealing one. he wants his own

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress - always in a jacket cause he's Cool™ - owns three jackets - one denim and two leather - black and brown - always in jeans. always - all his shoes are old and worn out - his brown cowboy boots are all scoffed up - and his two pairs of black Converse high tops should've been throw out years ago

Favorite beverage? - alcoholic: beer, mostly Yuengling. whiskey. Jack Daniels is a god - non-alcoholic: coffee. can't get through the day without it

What do they think about before falling asleep at night? - New York and how his old gang is doing, are his friends safe or even alive - he never stops thinking about the Bronx or any of it - he had to leave, he had to get out of there - but he wishes like hell he was still running from his father and having Patty take care of him

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them? - the first time he went to the doctors, he was four because his mother loved dope more than him - didn't get sick a lot; he had a great immune system - he broke a bone in a fight one time but never got it checked out so to this day, it still kinda hurts

Turn-ons? Turn-offs? - definitely a boobs guy - loves anyone who's good in a rodeo - muscles are always hot - loves a mystery and those who play hard to get

- he hates clinginess - he doesn't wanna settle down - he enjoys being single - he likes good girls but he hates being corrected for everything he does - he hates it when girls are too loud or are always complaining (that's his job)

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? - he'd either draw a bunch of dicks or write how bored and hungry he is

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life? - there's a method to his madness - he's great at placing players for a sports game or saying who should cover who in a fight - but his room's a mess, his life's a mess, his emotions are a mess - but he knows where everything he is - at least that's what he says - he also has a great sense of direction - and knows how to get everywhere. like he's better than a map

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all? - loves history and knows the gory details that they don't wanna teach in school - he knows the town's connections - real connections - to historical events and knows what the school and government are hiding

- he used to be really good at writing - still is, just won't tell anyone - he gets out his emotion through writing - there's a desk in his room - hidden by clothes and beer bottles/cans and trash - and in the bottom drawer, there's a bunch if stuff he's written. it's beautiful, really

How do they see themselves 5 years from today? - probably dead - or hooking up with some girl - or in prison - he'll either still be in Tulsa, a new city or back in New York  

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout? - he's convinced he'll never amount to anything so he doesn't have any plans - visit New York, do as little as he has to in order to get by - maybe even expose/destroy the government but that would take too much work

What is their biggest regret? - he had the chance to kill his father - everything was perfect; the opportunity was just placed in his hands - and he didn't do it - he hates himself to this day for not doing anything. he hated the man more than anything

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy? - Russel-James Vincent is the best friend he'll ever have. no one can compete with RJ. they've known each other since second grade and they've been like brothers ever since - his worst enemy, well he's got a couple - he always hated Smokey but never said anything to his friends because Dally showed up last - he hated a lot of gangs in New York, whether it was street gangs or any of the Five Families - he hates Socs - and he hates the guy that hurt Johnny. he swore he was gonna kill him if he ever caught the bastard

- there's a lot of hate in this poor boy's heart - he needs to learn to forgive

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?) - the fucker probably started the disaster - but he'd do what he always did: fix the problem himself

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies) - self destruct until he forgets about it - smokes his lungs black, drinks until his liver fails on him

Most prized possession? - his leather jacket. it's one of the only things he owns that actually fits him - Mrs. Curtis bought it for him and he cherishes it like it's sent from God or something - his St. Christopher, it was given to him by his mother hey thanks @roblowes for letting me steal your hc

Thoughts on material possessions in general? - he came from nothing and died with nothing - materialism is what makes Socs Socs and keeps the rich rich - trust me, when he was a kid, he was practically Robin Hood - both Sonny and the Motorcycle Boy approved

Concept of home and family? - after his mother died, he didn't really know what family was - and he always hated his father - in New York, he learn that family doesn't have to be who you're related to. it's the people who will love and protect you unconditionally - once he met the gang in Tulsa, though, it was different - he truly felt accepted and cared for

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?) - he talks about sex too much - but he's a very private person aside from that - he keeps New York a secret but it's obvious to everyone he's constantly thinking about it

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time? - it's not wasting time if you're making money - but if you lose, it is - that being said: pool, bowling and horseshoes on occasion

What makes them feel guilty? - nothing makes him guilty - except that he can't go back to New York - he feels bad that he left his friends and family with no explanation - and he can't remember anyone's addresses for the life of him

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making? - emotional. he does what he wants in the present and deals with the consequences later

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? - he thinks he's type b but we all know it's type a - in New York, he thought he was carefree but we all know he cared too much - in Tulsa, his apathy rose as he had less to fight for, protect and provide for

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained? - sex, mostly

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither? - probably inferiority because he let Sonny down - he was never good enough for his father and his mother loved dope more than she loved him

How misanthropic are they? - he hates Socs and those who hurt him or the ones he cares about

Hobbies? - pool, bowling, horseshoes, competing in the rodeo, drag races - anything stupid and reckless, really

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education? - he hates school so he barely goes - all his teachers gave up on him - everything he knows, he learned from Sonny, the Motorcycle Boy or on his own

Religion?

- Catholic but he doesn't act like it - but will go to confessions "to get a fresh start"

Superstitions or views on the occult? - superstitious when it's convenient - he was raised on superstitions, both in Detroit by his mother and the gangs and mobsters in the Bronx - he always kisses his ball before bowling or pitching in baseball - he makes wishes in fountains with pennies (don't tell anyone though)  

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds? - through anger cause it's the only emotion he knows how to feel - that and lust but sex means next to nothing to him - he feels good for a while and then it's over

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal? - liKE HE CAN - someone who can truly love him for him. knows how to deal with his moods, impulses and past. someone who won't push him too far and can't be pushed away, no matter how hard they try - basically Patty - they don't have to be perfect and they don't have to be just like him. they have to be someone who...pretty much his other half. someone who will take care of him if he protects them, someone who will listen to him and understand. someone empathetic and loves unconditionally

How do they express love? - he doesn't - with actions. he sucks with words - he'll give his partner his jacket or drive them home in 5 o'clock traffic or actually pay for a meal or get them a practical gift or something they've been talking about for a while - staying. he's horrible at commitment, but if he truly loves someone, he'll stay - actually no. you know he loves someone if he always comes back - or if he controls his anger around them. if he represses his anger for someone, he's in love - fighting for his partner. when they get in trouble, he'll back them up  

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like? - when is he not in a fight - he fits fair. if it's skin-on-skin, he doesn't even bring a weapon. he wants the same number of men as the opponent. he follows the rules because if he doesn't, he'll have to deal with the Motorcycle Boy - he doesn't get doped up before a fight. the adrenaline is enough

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not? - he wants to die 24/7. who are you thinking of??