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#why are people trying to enforce their likes and dislikes onto other people
taichissu · 2 years
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ok but i can't handle black coffee drinkers bc like
while i dislike both coffee and tea, tea drinkers just feel so Out Of It when talking about real tea and proper brewing and shit i can't really take it all that seriously
coffee drinkers are always those dude bros who actually only drink one kind of coffee ever and god forbid you add any cream or sugar to it it's this puritan who has been dating his girlfriend since high school and they don't love each other anymore they both know they cheat on each other but they don't want to break up because they don't want the change
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hobiebrownismygod · 11 months
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Thinking about a toxic/difficult relationship between Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk x GN! Reader/OC
Summary: Hobie slowly starts to drift away from Reader/OC causing them to lose their marbles and fall into a state of complete dependency on him.
TW: Toxic Relationship, Dependency
A fan fiction where the Reader/OC is protective and jealous while Hobie is just...chilling. The guy literally said he doesn't like labels, I doubt he would want to put a label on a relationship either. He'd be the kind of guy who would love you to death but also would want to be free to do his own thing and not be held under the constraints of an established relationship.
Meanwhile you have a Reader/OC that is deeply in love with Hobie and completely terrified of him leaving them. They want a label for their relationship so they can be sure that he's theirs.
Hobie would never cheat, and of course he would never pursue someone else while he already has feelings for someone or is in the process of pursuing someone. But Hobie also doesn't want to be held down by these constraints that the Reader/OC wants to enforce on him. Eventually he gets kind of sick of the constant nagging, and the two slowly drift apart.
This makes the Reader/OC go completely off the rails. Their every waking moment is consumed by the fear that one day, Hobie'll be gone. One day, he'll find someone else. One day, they'll lose him. So, to try to prevent this from happening, they hold onto him even longer, snatching onto him, gripping him tightly to keep him by their side. They become completely dependent on Hobie, never letting him out of their sight, never going a minute without holding his hand, holding his arm, holding his finger, holding on to something that keeps them together. This goes on to the point where he snaps, sick of being imprisoned and not having the freedom to do what he wants. With them constantly hovering over him, he can't be alone, he can't talk to other people, he can't even sleep peacefully without the Reader/OC clutching onto him like a frightened child. To him, its not cute. Its a sign of dependency. So he tells them he loves them, he assures them of this, but he also says that he wants someone who can be independent. And they've lost their independence. Then he leaves. For good.
I want to see an angsty, detailed fan fiction where the author goes more in depth about Hobie's dislike of labels, besides the surface level fanfic of "he doesn't want an established relationship." Why doesn't he want an established relationship? Is there a specific reason? Maybe I'll write it, idk, but I feel like something along the lines of the above would be fun to read.
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cloudinterlude · 2 years
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what misconception? 👀
I assume this is about the Civil War post I made and oh boy, so many. So, so many. Let me preface this by saying I actually like Civil War enough as a movie. Not as a Captain America movie, but it's engaging and I enjoyed it for the most part. I mostly dislike the dogshit opinions about it. To prevent this from turning into a dissertation, I'll just list the ones that come to mind first/irritate me the most:
"Steve was completely against regulation and oversight" WRONG. He was against the vagueness of it all. He explicitly says that he wants to know whose going to be holding his leash if he has to have one. In fact, he was about to sign the Accords before Tony told him about them preemptively enforcing it and detaining Wanda. Steve was willing to consider the Accords, Steve was trying to discuss the Accords, Steve was on the path to being open to the Accords before the moral failings of it were already shining through. Steve, rightfully so, is distrustful at this point of anonymous authority. Following the news that Hydra had their nasty paws in SHIELD and other high positions in government, Steve decides that he wants to know more about the people who have authority over him. Seems reasonable enough.
"Steve was only against the Accords for Bucky" WRONG. 1) Before he was certain that Bucky was being framed, he says that he has the best chance of bringing him in to minimize damage. Then, when he was certain Bucky was innocent, it became a matter of not letting his bestie be falsely imprisoned and/or killed on the spot. 2) Lemme just add that yes, Bucky is extremely important to Steve, but Steve would have still been against the Accords if Bucky wasn't a factor. I need people to understand this. It wasn't just a "oh no I need to save my best friend". 3) If you read what was in the Accords, you'd understand why Steve would generally be against them. They're abhorrent.
"Steve didn't read the Accords/Steve didn't even attempt to communicate or compromise." I haaaaattttteeee this one with a burning passion. Did we watch the same movie? He's quite literally the only one on screen we see even look at that long ass document. Probably also the only one would could even manage to read the thing since it was sprung up on them 3 days before the meeting (which is a whole 'nother issue for later. For now, I'll just say I support the Ross conspiracy theory). He also tried to tell Tony & Co. before the airport fight that Zemo was the one behind all this conflict, that Bucky is innocent and about the 5 other ultra-dangerous super-soldiers who, as far as he knew, were about to be unleashed onto the world which would be disastrous. Unfortunately, Team IM was wracked with tension and didn't listen and attacked.
"Steve and Bucky jumped Tony (+ variants of this statement)." This is one that confused me so much. Such a bullshit take. I am begging people to rewatch CW and watch the fight. Tony, whose emotions is dialed to a thousand (and not only because of the Bucky thing mind you, but I can talk about that a lot more later because I like talking about Tony's emotional/mental state during Civil War) attacked first, then tries to kill Bucky, Steve tries to get Tony to stop killing Bucky, Tony is trying not to kill Steve, Bucky is trying to get Tony not to kill Steve or him. It's a mess. Mind you, Steve isn't even trying to excessively harm Tony in this scene. It's confirmed that during the entire fight, he was trying to disable the suit. Not trying to beat Tony to a pulp - DISABLE. THE. SUIT. Which he manage to do in the midst of that shitshow.
"*insert any anti-CW Wanda take*" Please, someone please tell me why people think Wanda has any blame for what happened Lagos? Wanda quite literally didn't CAUSE that. I need to understand this point of view before I get an aneurysm. She didn't make the bomb, bring the bomb, set the bomb off. It was Rumlow who had that bomb that would have ended up killing way more people on the ground than where Wanda managed to put it. She absolutely was as much of a hero as she could be in that instance, trying to redirect the bomb away from civilians. Unfortunately, it still ended it casualties, but a lot less than it would have been if Wanda hadn't intervened.
I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. Fanon CACW quite literally has some of the worst fan comprehension I've seen in the MCU. I imagine that a lot of it is not understanding characters, the movie not elaborating on important plot points in an effort to make it 50/50 (which they failed at lol), and the fandom being a lot more conservative than I thought. I can expand further on anything if you want!
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runicmagitek · 5 months
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12 and/or 17, any fandom?
Hell yeah time for violence! 🔪 Thanks a bunch for playing along!
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
I played Fire Emblem Fates (Conquest) for the first time last year and am still in shock at how unpopular Silas is. He's such a sweet guy who wants to do the right thing, even if it gets his ass in trouble. Like most of his supports are him eating his own foot after trying to be helpful bc he's too blunt. But even then, he almost always learns from his mistakes and follows up with an apology and does better. And in a world (especially with Nohr) where everything is shit and it's a matter of survival of the fittest? I love seeing Silas shine through and not give in to what is considered the norm in his country. Plus he's so supportive of Corrin!! He's just a sweetie and I love him 😭 PLUS HE HAS A HORSE HOW CAN YOU DISLIKE A GUY WHO LIKES ANIMALS
17. there should be more of this type of art/fic
In general, I do feel that most fandom spaces are oversaturated in fluff. I do enjoy fluff! But the purity culture around anything the explores Not Fluff is really exhausting, especially if the source material has a lot of opportunities to dive deep in angst, horror, and other darker things. I do not fault anyone at all for knowing their own limits and wanting to create/read/look at stuff that's predominantly fluffy (you know what you like and you should bask in that!), but I've gotten multiple comments on fics over the years along the lines of "no! They've suffered enough! They should be happy!" which... sure, but also this is my fic I'm writing and sharing. If you don't enjoy it, that's fine! But the compulsion to enforce your likes and beliefs onto others instead of closing a brower tab or scrolling by or even blocking someone is really baffling to me. Everyone likes different things. It's not going to always reflect what YOU like. Also don't be a dick to people???
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ina-nis · 2 years
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You’re not sure if it’s because AvPD or something else but that whole process of “loving oneself” and feeling like “you’re enough” is good until it starts reinforcing avoidance.
It’s no wonder. The “cure” for loneliness is not connection but... workarounds.
Try a new thing, engage into a routine of self-care, nurture self-love, rescue an old passion of yours, and so on...
The loneliness is still there - you know it’s still there because AvPD puts it on the foreground with neon signs and sirens so you cannot miss it even if you try...
And you do all these things alright, to the point you will not accept crumbs of attention or affection. You keep your standards and enforce your boundaries - and then you wonder why people never approach you, huh? You need to be more vulnerable and friendly. And then you do that, but now it’s too much and people dislike desperate loners... so you have to find the middle-ground only to realize that’s not even the problem.
You forget about ableism, you forget about intersectionalities, you forget about how much these things play a part in how people interact with each other. None of that is your choice, or anyone’s, it just is.
Whether you do something or not, it seems you’ll suffer anyway, right?
So you can always hold onto avoidance - even of your own feelings, and especially of your own feelings - you can’t suffer if you don’t feel.
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Civ 6 Tickle Headcanons Pt. 62: Sundiata Keita
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Sundiata Keita: Lee
Sundiata is like a cross between Mansa Musa and Kristina. Like Mansa, he is blessed with abundant wealth, though he is a bit less social then Mansa and dosen't talk to others quite as easily. Rather, they are more like Kristina and use their wealth and their passion for tickles to commision great people for works of art, and especially writing. They also usually dislike those who compete with them in terms of culture, so I'd imagine that he wouldn't like me trying to guess at his character at all, and would rather be the one in charge of the narrative for all his favourite fandom characters. By all means Sundiata, reply to this post and tell me why I'm all wrong about you.
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(This is based purely off of their appearances and special attributes as CIV 6 characters, and not off of their traits as actual historical figures. I do this for the sake of drawing a line between reality and fiction, as it feels simply wrong to enforce a separate narrative of my own onto real people.)
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edettethegreat · 2 years
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remember last time I said that was my one and only post about that anime called Bungo stray Dogs? I lied.
<<DISCLAIMER: I was gonna edit this but then I forgot about it and left it in drafts for too long and I only remembered it now. SO it’s still all phrased in ways that’ll bother many people in the fandom (unlike part one, which I tried to tone down a bit). Also it’s pretty messy. So. Read at your own risk I guess.>>
I was gonna replay via reblogs once again, but once again I went too off topic and didn’t want to hijack or derail OP’s post, so here’s a link to the post, here’s the post, and here’s OP: @sparkofsummer​
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I have so much to say on this topic, so just consider this my anti-Dazai propaganda rant part 2
(You can find part 1 here)
Of course last time I said I’d never post another bsd-related post ever agin, but exceptions must be made for topics such as this.
And now onto the topic at hand.
<full disclosure- when I mention Sskk and skk here, I’m referring to the duos (in terms of teaming up to fight someone), not the ships>
OP is right. OP is so right and this is the reason for my unreasonable dislike towards Sskk.
Sskk is created to be the “next generation” of skk. That’s the first noticeable flaw. The age gap between Mori/Fukuzawa and skk is what.., 20 years, give or take? The age gap between skk and Sskk is 2-4 years. That’s not a “next generation”, that’s just taking your coworkers who are around your age and saying “heyyy I really don’t feel like working, can you cover for me?” The point of a “next generation” is that when one generation goes into retirement, there’ll still be a strong duo protecting Yokohama. But by the time skk will be too old to get anything done, chances are so will Sskk. So that’s reason number 1 that Sskk does not serve its purpose.
Reason number 2 is, as OP said, it doesn’t follow the previous two duos brain/brawn rule. It’s double brawn. Neither Atsushi nor Akutagawa are strategists in any sense. Chuuuya’s arguably more of a strategist than them, considering he understands the way other strategists (ie Dazai) think, to an extent.
But wait. There actually is a brain among us in Sskk. And it’s Dazai’s. Unlike Mori/Fukuzawa and skk, Sskk often has direct interference and guidance from Dazai. While they were out beating up the virus ability guy, Dazai was out apprehending Fyodor. Prior to that he was with them, directing them on an outline of what to do. The role of Sskk here seems to be a role Chuuya could have easily filled. (And the virus needs two hosts, right? I may be mis-remembering this, but what would have happened if only one person would have gone in to fight the virus dude?) Regardless. It seems like the sort of role Chuuya could have easily filled, but Dazai’s having the duo he created himself try their hand at filling that role.
And on the topic of Chuuya, where is he anyway? I don’t mean in the virus arc, I know he was on a mandatory Ranpo-enforced vacation in a mystery novel. But where is Chuuya in establishing Sskk? It makes sense that only Mori and not Fukuzawa established skk, because Fukuzawa didn’t know or have anything to do with Dazai or Chuuya. But with Sskk, Akutagawa is Chuuya’s subordinate, and additionally he clearly respects him. For Dazai to intentionally make sure Chuuya has no involvement.., it would make you question why. Why would Chuuya intentionally be left out of the formation of the new and improved duo that’s supposed to take over from the duo he was once a part of.
Point is Sskk isn’t “the next generation” or “stronger skk”. It’s skk minus Chuuya, replacing him with two ability users who don’t even come close to his complete strength, considering he’s a literal god.
The fallacy lies in the fact that Sskk is a duo, when it’s actually a trio. Dazai fills the role of not only the mentor, but the brains to Atsushi and Akutagawa’s brawn. Dazai never left skk, he simply pushed Chuuya out of it by replacing him with two people who don’t even remotely amount to what he’s capable of.
EDIT from after I wrote this: 
AND ANOTHER THING.
THAT I FORGOT TO MENTION.
Dazai KNOWS that Akutagawa is actively dying of some lung disease.
Dazai KNOWS that Atsushi can only control his ability with the help of Fukuzawa, ie someone a whole generation older than Dazai himself.
So that whole “oh this is the next generation of soukoku :)” thing? Yeah Dazai KNOWS that both parties involved  will only be able to be part of it for a short period of time. So. Dazai. What’s up with that, anyway?
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Fitting room conversations
Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Plus size! Reader
Warning: Discussion of insecurities (on both sides), mention of society's view on how a woman's body is supposed to look like, denied implied fitting room sex idea (not really put out there, just reader knowing Ransom too well), mentions of therapy, toxic parents 😬
Length: 1.3k 
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You still couldn't believe you let yourself be convinced by Ransom that you needed to buy something new to meet his family. You understood his obsession with outside appearance but you disliked it when he tried to enforce that same obsession onto you. It dialed down as your relationship progressed and your communication became more transparent and honest. But whenever he was to see his family that invisible pressure translated outwards - sometimes onto you. You tried being supportive yet firm, establishing boundaries without stressing him or yourself further. You knew you've had more than enough time to practice setting boundaries as you were growing up with your own family while Ransom just recently started going to therapy.
But even you forgone your boundaries sometimes.
"I brought some other choices for you to try." Ransoms' hand poked through the curtain in the small changing room stall. You stared at the slim and colourful dresses and you already knew, just by looking at them, that they're not going to fit.
"Ransom, I told you I just wanted your opinion on the dresses that I pick..."
"C'mon just try them." He insisted and you hesitantly took the hangers from his hands. You stripped out of your clothes slowly, the bright lights of the changing room shining particularly bright, bringing out everything that people thought and expressed was wrong with your body. You refused to let society dictate how to look like and you loved your body, regardless of any and all additional curves you had. But then you squeezed into an orange dress Ransom picked for you.
It was the first time in years that you could hear your parents' voices inside your head again telling you how to dress to hide your imperfections, how they forced diets on you, hoping you'd lose weight and how their 'thoughtful' comments made you so insecure that you refused to look into a full length mirror.
"Did you try them on?" His voice came from behind the curtain, bringing you back into the physical world. A lump formed in your throat, you could hear other people behind the curtain too which only made you more anxious to open the curtain.
"Yeah...give me a sec." Your voice came out shaky and that was all Ransom needed to hear before he entered the stall. You turned to him and you both remained completely silent.
"It fits." Ransom finally commented. You rolled your eyes.
"Yes it fits, but it doesn't suit me. It highlights everything I don't want highlighted."
"You know I think you're gorgeous no matter what you wear, Bunny." He smiled and leaned closer to kiss you but you pushed him away.
"Then why are you so insistent on making me try out so many of these dresses?" You turned away from him, crossing your arms over your chest and feeling the seams of the dress press deeper into your skin. You hated that feeling.
"I'm not forcing y-"
"Seriously Ransom, stop lying and just tell me the truth. Why does it bother you so much if I want to meet your family in jeans and cardigan?" You sighed, your voice laced with irritation.
"I...just...I know what they will think and I don't want them to have that impression of you." He sat down abruptly on the small stool in the stall. "My family is judgemental and mean and downright cruel...I don't want you to be the recipient of that."
"What is going on in your head, Sweetie?" You crouched down in-front of him, leaning your arms on his knees.
"They'll comment on your appearance and I'm just afraid if you come in wearing jeans they'll think you're trying to hide your weight. Or that you've given up."
"I assume they have already made comments about it?" You leaned back when he nodded.
"Look Ransom, we've had this talk before. I don't appreciate you reflecting your insecurities onto me. You know what was happening when I was growing up and how long it took me to get to where I am now. I love my body-"
"Bunny, no, I love your body too." You put your finger on his lips.
"-just as it is. I wear what I want because I like it, because I feel comfortable and beautiful in it. And I buy whatever I want to buy. I don't need you or anyone else telling me how to dress or act and I certainly don't need the help to feel bad about the fact that I would almost need grease to get myself into one of these dresses to impress people that have done so much damage to the person I love." Your hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch.
"I love you." Ransom kissed your palm, before leaning forward and kissing your lips.
"I love you too. Now please get me out of this dress. And before you make a joke - we will not have sex in the fitting room." You wagged your finger in his face when a smirk crossed his lips. It quickly turned into a soft pout before he unzipped your dress and helped you out of it. The amount of relief you felt when the dress was peeled off your body was indescribable. And you were more than happy to dump the too bright dresses on the counter, scaring the poor clerk half to death with how strongly you slammed the hangers on the solid surface. You quickly apologized before letting out a giggle and exited the store with Ransom interlacing your fingers.
"So I guess you're staying with jeans and a cardigan?" He asked as you walked to the cafe next to the store. You nodded your head and sat down at one of the tables. You ordered greek yoghurt and chocolate flavoured ice-creams and as you waited silence fell on you. You observed your fidgeting boyfriend and you could practically see his brain churning.
"Ransom, I'm Team lead in one of the top tech firms in Boston, I graduated top of my class at Columbia and have been named as one of the most inspiring people to follow. None of these things are connected to the way I look or dress. My value has never and will never be measured by the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. It's measured by what I can offer the world. I love the way I look, even with a few extra pounds and I love what I bring to the table - my knowledge, skills and positive attitude. If people choose to judge me based on the fact that I don't fit into a size 0 then it's their loss."
"You're exceptional, Bunny." He reached over the table to hold your hand. "But I just want my family to love you. I want them to see how amazing you are. I want them to see that if someone like you can love me..." Ransom went quiet and broke his stare. "That I'm not as awful as they made me believe I was for such a long time."
"Hey. Your parents aren't worth your worries. And I don't want you to base your worth on their approval." You squeezed his hand.
"I hate that I still wait for that pat on the back. Even when I know it'll never come." Ransom sighed.
"I want to say that they did the best they could but both our parents could've and should've done better. They completely broke us and as adults left us to deal with the shards. I have forgiven my family but I refuse to forgive yours until they actually show some remorse."
"You're too good for and to me." He sighed but a smile crossed his face as he gazed into your eyes.
Thank you for reading! 🙏💙
This is the first time I'm doing plus size reader so I hope I tagged it correctly - I saw somewhere a post on this appropriate tagging & I will need to check if I have done any stupid mistakes in my old fics (hopefully I didn't). I can actually relate to the described issues and societal views 😑 and I hope I will be like the reader and get over it 🙏🍀 even though it's much easier said than done 😬
The GIF doesn't belong to me - belongs to the amazing creator 🙏😊
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butwhatifidothis · 3 years
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Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20
But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.
Chapter 21:
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Transcript under the cut:
Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass
- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.
- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->
- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).
- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong
- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)
- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12
- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)
- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest
- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3
- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell
- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good
- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right
- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.
- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points
- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.
- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."
- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4
- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another
- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain
- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her
- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.
- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope
- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)
- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14
- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of
- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side
- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous
- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?
- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?
- Something the fic will address?
- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92
- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93
- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side
- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao
- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.
- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?
- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.
- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard
- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94
- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?
- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95
- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?
- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.
- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity
- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96
- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?
- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)
- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.
- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)
- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!
- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri
- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?
- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?
** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **
- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.
- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.
- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny
- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5
- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100
- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth
- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.
- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke
- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.
- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light
- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.
- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true
******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******
66 notes · View notes
soranis-sunshadow · 4 years
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Hordak can’t catch a break even on his birthday...
Oh fandom, you really like this sort of drama don’t you? 
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A few days ago, on Hordak’s birthday, there was this ‘interesting’ post in the tag – since, apparently it’s impossible to get any peace even on that day.
I was  too tired to answer it at the time after being on call the day before so, here’s my delayed answer to all of that:
First off: this post has this bit in it when asked what that person dislikes about SPOP.
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 He doesn’t need to get a redemption and he doesn’t get one in the show. 
None of his actions constitute a redemption arc. The man merely acknowledged his personhood and freed himself from his master and God. That’s what his arc was about: the right to have a personal identity. 
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He gave himself a name and wanted to be his own person. That’s it. That’s all he wanted.
The man was merely freed from Prime’s influence- an influence he was born into since he’s been specifically manufactured to serve as a disposable mass produced soldier and worshipper of Prime.
 If the argument that Catra was “forced” to commit crimes and thus she is not completely guilty of them since she was under duress – then the argument doubly holds for a person who has been directly programmed and conditioned to do so under the threat of death or mental rape (purification).\
Even while away from Prime, he was still conditioned to obey and brainwashed by Prime’s cult. He literally knew nothing else – he was not meant to. It’s how indoctrination works.  
Prime’s clones aren’t people to Prime, they are tools. Those clones, while cut off from Prime still want to serve and please him: That’s what Wrong Hordak’s purpose in the show is- to show us just that.
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Hordak is not considered “OK”  because Entrapta likes him. Hordak is merely shown – by Entrapta that he could live apart from his cult and have worth outside what Prime tells him he has. 
Just like real life cult victims, he needs an outsider to help him see a way out of the cult. The nature of indoctrination and brainwashing makes it impossible for the brainwashed person to know they are brainwashed unless someone points it out.
Now for my favorite thing:
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and
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oh and
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Oh boy… this makes me just so damn uncomfortable.
To offer a bit of context as to why. I have never been on social media before SPOP or in any fandom and as such, I have never encountered the ‘all men are evil’ discourse that seems to infest these places. It’s been quite a bit of culture shock for me. 
What is it that makes anyone think it is ok to judge a person because of an accident of birth? (being born male)
Why does hate for 50% of the human population get such a free pass on these platforms? Misandry is just as terrible as misogyny. You are being biased against another human because of their gender. I don’t care that males are perceived as ‘privileged’ – that doesn’t make it ok to be terrible to them unprovoked. 
How does hating all men help achieve equity?
Do you realize that this sort of discourse is exactly how you radicalize people against the very cause you are championing? You breed hate and adversity for the rest of us who actually want to to have a discussion on the topic. 
I’m a feminist myself (in a country where feminism is hard-work) and let me tell you, making all men hate us does nothing but push away potential allies and make it a lot harder for our voices to be heard.
Feminism is about equality, not women dominating.
Now onto the second post: the one comparing Catra and Hordak with the question of which of them is a better person. 
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This whole war orphans that were personally abducted and tortured into serving the horde HC that some ppl have is really starting to get boorish. This has been going on for more than 6 months. 
I have no idea why everyone thinks he went down chimneys and stealing babies left and right while cackling villainously. The man had a busy schedule of brooding in his lab, wallowing at his inability to use insulated cables and having his device blowing up in his face with the occasional Skype call to Shadow Weaver to see what the Horde is doing. 
And yet, to a part of the fandom, this is what he looked like:
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( @bat-burrito​ made this one and it’s glorious) 
And if you don’t believe me about the lab recluse thing, you don’t have to, the show pretty much states it for me. 
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and 
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+
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Hordak is a recluse that stayed in his lab and let the running of the Horde and most operations to Shadow Weaver and later Catra. He did not personally abuse anyone and he is not the origin of the cycle of abuse.
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Shadow Weaver was a child grooming manipulative woman before she even joined the Horde – she did this to Micah while she was not “evil” or presumably abused by Hordak.
Even if you want to HC that Hordak abused her somehow, he is still not the one who started the cycle: Horde Prime is. 
The whole fandom seems to forget about the eldritch monstrosity that created a whole army of brainwashed slaves to worship and die for him. Prime is the one that sent Hordak to die and gave him the motivation to try to prove himself worthy of life and love. If you want to point fingers, point them at the origin of all of this. This fandom has a strange Prime blindness. He is never talked about when it comes to being the start of all of this.
If Prime didn’t exist, Hordak wouldn’t exist. If Prime hadn’t sent Hordak off to die, then his clone wouldn’t have accidentally ended up on Etheria. None of the things in the show would have happened.
Adora would have died of exposure in a field, the monarchies on Etheria would have continued as they are and the planet would have continued to exist in despondos. 
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He is a dictator, yes. So are the princesses. Monarchies are dictatorships where the ruler is born into power. Hordak gained his through military might while Glimmer was born with hers and enforced it with tradition. I don’t really care to play “who’s the better dictator”. The princesses have their power because of the runestones- magical rocks put there by the First Ones to channel the planet’s magic and use it as a weapon. How come no one talks about that?
Do you think a king/queen keeps their crown without effort or subjugation of their subjects? 
Also, Hordak had never interacted with Catra before SW dragged her before him to be judged. He was indifferent to etherians in general and didn’t seem to care which of them were his underlings so long as the operations were running smoothly. He was more focused on his portal and returning home than on anything else. He did not set out to “ruin lives” or quest for power. What he wanted was to return to his deity and become a mindless part of the whole again – that is as opposite to power hungry as you can get.
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Catra was directly abused by Shadow Weaver throughout her childhood. That makes Shadow weaver responsible for 100% of that abuse.
Catra was found in a box by Adora and adopted by Shadow Weaver. Hordak didn’t know or care that she existed.
He is responsible for the war, he is responsible for the war casualties and the property damage. He is not responsible for Shadow Weaver being a terrible person and mother figure.
Again with the orphan thing. We have 5 cadets in the show. 
Adora was found in a field. 
Catra was found in a box. Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio are unexplained. The only lizard ppl we see in the show are in the Horde or the Crimson Wastes. The other two could just as well be the children of some of the soldiers. 
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I may harp on about what a bitch Shadow Weaver is – the reason I do so is because she is legitimately terrible to the two girls in her care.
I was the unfavorite growing up, I WAS the Catra in my family who could do no right while my sibling was the golden child. I don’t however hate Shadow Weaver. She is a cartoon character in a show and she does the things she was written to do. Hell, she is a very compelling and believable villain. Her motivations are clear and she is consistent. Her voice actress portrayed her splendidly and her character design is superb. I like her but that doesn’t mean that I don’t acknowledge her role in the story. I don’t however make up parts of the story to make her more evil than she was or treat my headcanons about her as absolute fact. 
Again, sigh: Prime is the worst villain in the show. He is quite literally Nyarlathotep and does this to planets: 
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 This to people: 
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and this to the people he created to serve, worship and love him: 
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How is that not worse?
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I love Catra and it genuinely annoys me when people erase her agency or try to paint her as one-dimensional victim. Catra was an antagonist for most of the show and she rocked it! She was 400% more efficient at it than cloneboy. Give the queen some damn respect and recognition! Catra had a lot of agency and her actions moved the plot of the show more than those of the protagonists. (they were mostly reactive).
Catra pulled the lever of the portal in a moment of distress after a breakdown, a Shadow-Weaver related breakdown because that’s how trauma works.
Hordak didn’t make her do it, he didn’t send Catra after Adora either. These were Catra’s choices. They came from a place of hurt but they were her choices still.
The portal was a means of transportation, not a weapon. Building it was not Catra’s mission, it was Hordak’s. He built it so he could contact Prime and either summon him here or go home –whichever course of action Prime wanted. Again, Hordak wanted to go back to this:
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...
The only person who knew the device was dangerous was Entrapta and she tried to warn Hordak about it. Catra was the one who stopped her, violently so, then sent her to die on Beast Island- the fate Entrapta saved her from a season ago. Catra then tried to have Hordak open the portal before it was ready.
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When he wouldn’t – she pulled the lever herself because that is how desperate she had gotten at that point, to show Shadow Weaver how wrong she was. That is how hurt Catra was by her mother figure’s betrayal and abuse.
Don’t take that away from her. Don’t call it curiosity or naivete or whatever. She knew the portal was dangerous but she wanted to prove Shadow Weaver wrong so badly that she didn’t care at that point. She had been pushed that far. 
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Catra’s actions led to Angella’s death but she was not directly responsible for it. She didn’t activate the device to kill Angella, it merely happened accidentally. Catra was however glad it happened and wanted to profit from the aftermath of her death.  
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Hordak didn’t care or plan to kill Angella personally. There is no in-show moment where any of that is portrayed. Since he doesn’t care about the specifics of running the horde seem to know what they are conquering at the moment, it seems that that was usually a task reserved for his second in command. 
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^ - troop movement ordered by Catra
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Hordak doesn’t even know what his own army is doing.
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Again with the Hordak “drilling into orphan’s minds”… I seriously doubt that any of them had ever seen him out of his lab or that he came up with the propaganda himself.
Manipulation is more Shadow Weaver’s game not his. For all of Hordak’s faults, he is not deceptive or manipulative. If anything, he is woefully incapable of spotting lies. (it might have something to do with him being born in a society where lies were almost impossible because of the hive mind and Prime being able to browse his thoughts at a whim- as such, it wouldn’t be a skill he would have been able to develop).
Hordak canonically despises deception and lies.  I really don’t understand where this image of a manipulative and cunning Hordak comes from. He wouldn’t be able to plot himself out of a paper bag if his life depended on it.
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First off.. S4 Catra was his equal, not his subordinate. Don’t take that away from her. She earned it.
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He doesn’t look that threatening here... 
And again:  Prime created the system. He made clone slaves and programmed them to serve. His clones have hardware installed for the express reason to facilitate his control over them. He has a religion in place to make sure their thoughts do not stray from his purpose. I am legitimately boggled by this fandom’s tendency to completely forget about his existence.Does anyone really think that these people that are born “prechipped” and programmed to know nothing but Prime’s Light are really knowledgeable about human morality?
That they would know that conquest is bad when that is the express reason for their creation? 
If I were born in that situation, I’m not sure I would have known any better. Hell, if any of the clones even try to disobey Prime, they would get either mindraped (erased) or killed for the effort. They really have no choice, even if they knew that killing in Prime’s name is wrong (they don’t) they really can’t do anything about it. They have no choice but to be what they were made to be. I find it personally abhorrent when these designer slaves are held accountable for what Prime has made them do.
And to the people that say Hordak was free of Horde Prime once he was stranded on Etheria.. That is not how indoctrination works. The fact that I can’t go to church this Sunday because I’m locked in the house and can’t find the keys doesn’t make me an atheist.
Hordak was serving Prime even on Etheria. He keeps mentioning it to both Entrapta and Catra. He started the war because that’s what he thought Prime wanted of him and that’s what he’s been programmed to do. Personal and informed choice really doesn’t factor into his decision at all.
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He is not sympathetic because Entrapta likes him. Notice how I haven’t brought up his relationship with her up to this point?
He is sympathetic because he literally had no choice but to do the things he was indoctrinated into doing. He was build and programmed for it, just like all the other clones. They are not able to deviate from that because of the way Prime functions and rules over them.
There is no point in the show where Hordak relishes over his status as a ruler or the “luxury” it affords him. He does not engage in the same behaviors his progenitor manifests.
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There is no point in the show where Hordak relishes over his status as a ruler or the “luxury” it affords him. He does not engage in the same behaviors his progenitor manifests. He attempts to emulate Prime in order to project authority in the only way he knows how but since those are some really big shoes to fill, he is woefully inadequate. 
If Hordak had been power hungry, he would have stayed in despondos and ruled his own faction. Being away from Prime is the most powerful and autonomous he’s ever been and yet, he wants to throw all of that away in order to be a powerless, nameless part of the whole. What Hordak wanted was to be enslaved by Prime because that’s what he had been created for.
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“vengeful” – and how did Hordak manifest this vengefulness? Who did he take revenge on in the series?  
“apologize” – when and where in his 3 minutes of screentime would he remember everything after 2 mindwipes, realize that the whole worldview he had since inception is wrong, realize that he had been mistaken into doing the horrible things he did and then go to all of the characters and apologize for it?
Would anyone be convinced of that had it happened in 3 minutes? I’d rather they don’t redeem him than do a shit job at it.
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Very true. He’s not a better person. He’s just a person in an impossible situation. Both Hordak and Catra were handed a raw deal, I don’t understand why everyone insists on pitting them against one another. They both did bad things and they were both in horrible situations. The specifics don’t really matter since neither of them would have done the things they did had they been more fortunate.
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This is the exact reason for which I don’t hold Cara’s actions against her. Catra’s only model of success was Shadow Weaver. She emulated her abusive mother figure because she had no other example and because she wanted to please that woman. It does not excuse the way Catra acted but it explains it.
I really don’t understand why some people want Catra punished. I’d rather she get love and help. That is what she needs. In time, she will want to do better and be better by herself. She doesn’t need to be forced, heavens know, she’s been forced enough as it is.
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They are really different. Catra got an abusive, shitty and violent childhood. Hordak got this:
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He was literally robbed of a childhood. 
She was taught by Shadow Weaver that weakness gets you killed. Hordak was not allowed to have emotions to begin with, or thoughts of his own, or a name...
Comparing to victims of abuse to see which one of them is more likable is such a strange concept to me.
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Catra was robbed in s5 too. I don’t hold that against her. I  blame it on the writers. S5 could have been a lot better. 
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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years
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In Session
This one is a doozy. Warnings: m/f sex, over stimulation, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, male masturbation, cum eating, use of mutant abilities in a sexual situation. 18+ please!
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The three of you have been home for a couple of weeks now and, unfortunately for poor Bucky, the pixie dust has worn off. All Steve has to do is breathe near you and you go off. He has apologized and apologized but you refuse to let it go. Steve tries to be patient with you. He accepts that what he said gutted you. He is trying to make it up to you but you rebuke all of his attempts.
Quite frankly the whole thing gives Bucky anxiety. As soon as he hears “You know what, Steve?” He reaches for the antacids. In two weeks he was leaving for a semi long trip with Sam and Nat. He needed to set you on the path to healing before he left you two alone. That’s why he hijacked you both and brought you to his therapist.
Dr. Coleman is far more gentle than his VA therapist. She specializes in PTSD and has worked with many first responders and members of law enforcement. She also helps couples to reacclimate following traumatic experiences. Bucky thought that, with the amount of trauma the three of you had suffered, she would be perfect to help.
Neither of you were pleased to be there. The doctor spoke ok Bucky’s behalf at the start of the session. “Steve, Y/N. I’m so glad you’re here. This is an important first step on the path to healing. You are here for each other as much as you are here for yourselves. What we know is the three of you love each other very much. I would like you to keep that in the front of your minds as we go through this journey. I do have a few ground rules. First, we will not raise our voices or become physical here or at home. Second, we will not resort to name calling. Third, we will not shut down when confronted. We will speak on our feelings. Can I gain your agreement on those rules?” You all nodded. “Wonderful. I just need the two of you to sign some consent forms and we’ll be on our way.”
You hated therapists of any kind. You never had a good experience. Grant it, your only experiences were forty something years ago. You were sure there were advances. Still, you were wary of this woman. She does seem to help Bucky. If this is what he needed, you’d do it for him. When she asked Steve to speak first you nearly gagged.
“Steve, tell me why you think we’re all here today.”
He sighed loudly and spoke in a monotone voice like he was in trouble in the principal’s office. “We’re here because our bickering is upsetting Buck.”
“Ok. Can you tell me why you and Y/N have been bickering so much lately?”
“Because he’s impossible to live with.” You said not so under your breath. Steve was quick to react but Dr. Coleman stopped him.
“Y/N, you will have your turn to speak. Please give Steve the courtesy of having his time uninterrupted.” Steve smirked at you. You wanted to reach over and slap him in his smug face but Bucky rested his hand over yours.
“We’re bickering because I said a horrible thing to Y/N and she refuses to forgive me.”
“Right. And what did you say?” Fuck it was like pulling teeth.
“I told her in the heat of an argument that I didn’t want a whore for a wife. But I said I didn’t mean it and that I was sorry. She refuses to move on.”
Dr. Coleman listened to both of your sides and gave you some short term and long term goals. She asked you to open the door for better communication. She understood why you were so upset, especially since his admission was premeditated. She tasked Steve with finding a way to come to terms with what you do. Now that he knows why he feels the way he does, it is time to confront those feelings as his own and stop projecting them onto you. She also suggested that, while Bucky was gone, the two of you should do couple things. Your love was not linked exclusively through Bucky.
The three of you left feeling a little lighter. You made promises to each other and you intended to keep them. The couple of weeks leading up to Bucky’s trip were fine. There was something hanging in the air that made Bucky nervous. Like you two were just waiting for him to leave so you could unload on each other. Steve promised he wouldn’t make faces when you left for your appointments. You promised not to snap at him over every little thing. He didn’t believe either of you.
The night before he left, Steve fell asleep on the couch. You were already in bed half asleep yourself. It was rare when you had alone time. When they were in deep Avengers mode, you cherished your privacy. Maybe it was time to start thinking of getting a bigger place.
Bucky came out of the shower still warm and a little damp. He smelled like cedar and fresh rain. He dropped his towel and slipped under the covers. Compared to him your skin felt cool when you pressed your bare ass against him. “You’re so warm, daddy.”
“I needed that hot shower after the training session Steve and I had. I wore him out.”
“Mmmm. I bet you did. Did you fuck in the gym again?”
His laugh rumbled against your back. “Not this time. Should I go wake him?”
“No. We haven’t had a moment alone since he moved in. This is gonna sound disgusting but I kind of like it when you’re sweet with me.” You didn’t have to say anymore. He slid his hands under your arms to palm your breasts and pressed gentle kisses along your neck and spine. With his knee he parted your legs so he could stroke your warmth. You whined in his mouth when he ran your slick over your clit. He took his time pumping his fingers inside of you coaxing tiny whimpers and moans out of your body. “Fuck me, Jamie.”
You had never called him Jamie during sex until you told him you loved him. His name falling from your lips became his favorite sound. You invoked him like you were invoking God praying for peace. Your cunt fluttered and squeezed his cock bringing you both to your end. “I love you, Jamie.”
“Oh my…I love you too, baby. I’m gonna miss you so much.” He stayed inside of you keeping his spend deep inside of your channel and fell asleep. Sam would be there early.
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Your calendar was pretty full the first week Bucky was gone. Most of your appointments were during the day. Steve was back and forth between the apartment and compound. You settled into a pleasant routine like a normal couple with typical careers and predictable schedules. You even got through a meeting when a realtor without a single clenched jaw.
“Do you have time for lunch?” He was so hopeful. You promised Bucky.
“Yeah. I think so.” He took your hand and held it all the way to a cute little spot down the street. “I like this neighborhood. Not far from the subway. Walkable.”
“I like it too. I’ve seen a ton of kids out and about.” That made you want to cringe but you held it in. None of you have had the cliche conversation about your futures. Since you were the only one who could bear children, you figured you should speak up.
“Do you want kids?” You kept your eyes on your salad.
“Yeah. I really do. Have you um, been checked out? Can you have children?” God this was awkward.
“I can. I wonder if Hydra has successfully bred a serum baby. Like, it altered our DNA. I wonder what would happen.” His brow furrowed. He really hadn’t thought about that.
“I will have to look into it. That’s something we need to know I guess. Why do we feel so weird around each other?”
“Right?!” You were so glad he felt it too.
“Are you ever going to forgive me?” He asked so quiet and quickly that you almost didn’t hear.
“Before I answer that question can I ask a question?” He nodded. “Why are you ok with me having your babies but not being your wife? I know in therapy you said it scared you and you didn’t care for my clients. I get all of that. Those are valid things. I can’t help but think you don’t like the optics.” That was the million dollar question. Could Captain America be out as polyamorous? You felt like Steve might be a closet Republican. Most of the republicans that were your clients were the biggest freaks.
“There’s nothing our media team can’t spin. I’m not embarrassed by you and Buck. My reasons for disliking your job are exactly what I said. I feel like being out about our relationship puts a target on your back.”
“But that’s not what you said, Steve. You said ‘I don’t want a whore for a wife’. That implies something completely different. I like what I do. Those rich assholes and politicians put money in my purse. A lot of my clients are like us. Freaks of nature. They can’t have normal relationships. I help them. I don’t judge their abilities or physical mutations. We just fuck and they feel normal for a while. Like the guy I’m seeing tonight. He just wants to feel normal.”
Steve was quiet for the rest of lunch. You gave him a lot to think about. He had no idea you saw yourself as a freak of nature or that you saw him that way. Everyone celebrated what Steve was but essentially threw you away. The people on your client list who he saw as villains have been tossed out by the society he swore to protect. He guessed he jumped the shark a bit by even bringing up marriage. Not like you were there yet.
You and Bucky seemed to have a don’t ask don’t tell policy regarding your situation. That was not Steve. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew without a doubt that you were safe. Tonight he will follow you. If he ever wanted to move passed his own feelings, he had to know.
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Tonight you were seeing Erik Lensherr which meant you had to be prepared for anything. He never beat you like other idiots did. He wasn’t stupid. Why hit you when it doesn’t hurt? He liked to really bring you to the brink of pain with pleasure. Sometimes he edged you for hours. He loved when you were a drooling sobbing mess begging for relief. That’s what turned him on. After sessions with him, you always took the following day off.
You and Steve had dinner together. You were both much more relaxed. He sat in the bathroom while you got ready. You picked a dress and made sure to have lots of mascara on. Mascara tears were Erik’s favorite. While you put on your jewelry, he stood behind you and kissed your shoulders. You missed his touch. You leaned in and let him put his hands on you.
“You look beautiful, honey.” he said against the back of your neck.
“Thank you. Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow? We can stay in bed all day.”
He smiled that beautiful sunshine smile at you that made your insides liquid. “Really? Does that mean you forgive me?”
You giggled, “No. It means I want to get reacquainted. Forgiveness is not so easy for me. Maybe if you ever put a ring on it, I’ll forgive you.”
“I’ll take it. Will you be out late?” He kissed his way down your neck.
“I’m not really sure. If I know I won’t be coming home I’ll text you. I wouldn’t wait up.” You allowed him to really kiss you. My lord Steve Rogers is an amazing kisser. He is confident and strong in his movements. He kisses with his whole body. Hands roam your back and and shoulders while he presses your body into his. His eyes barely close, making his lashes flutter on the tops of his cheeks. And he softly moans which drives you crazy. Well, at least Erik won’t have to warm you up.
“I love you. Be safe. Call me if absolutely anything is off. Promise.”
“Yes, sir. I love you, too.”
He gave you a thirty second head start before he followed you on his bike. You met Erik at a beautiful brownstone. He held the door for you and kissed both of your cheeks. Steve saw him pour you a drink and direct you to the sofa by the small of your back. You looked comfortable enough. It was clear the two of you were friends. Then, he sat next to you. His movements became predatory. He always kept his hands on you.
Soon he was taking your drink and leading you up the stairs. It was the moment of truth. He could walk away satisfied that you were safe or climb the fire escape to watch. The thought of seeing you in flagrante was turning him on way more than he should have been. Option B it was.
He climbed to the second story where he sat stock still in a darkened corner. The window was cracked a bit so he could hear everything.
The two of you kissed passionately. Erik’s hands found your zipper and made quick work of shedding your dress. He pushed you to the bed which was decorated by an ornate metal head and footboard. He raised his hand and part of the bed broke off bending around your wrists to bind you.
“Too tight, Princess?”
“No, sir.” Next he attached a spreader bar to your ankles springing your legs open wide. “Color?”
“Green.” Your voice was steady but your breath was heaving in your chest. Steve wondered if it was nerves or excitement.
Erik knelt beside you and stroked your face. “How many times shall I make my Princess cum tonight hmm? Shall we try for six?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.” He produced a string of metal balls from his pocket and popped them one by one into your mouth. His lips were on yours again. His tongue moved the balls around your mouth clacking them on your teeth. When he was satisfied with their saturation he pried your mouth open with his thumb and removed them. He parted your folds and sunk the balls into your dripping hole one by one. His fingers danced swirling the orbs inside of your cunt. Your back arched off the bed. “Does that feel good, Princess?”
“Yes , sir. So good.”
“Excellent. Princess, I want you to count out loud each time you come. I will edge you for one hour if I don’t hear you.”
“Ah! Yes, sir.” The coil in your belly was building. Erik smiled down on your writhing body. You tried to bring your thighs together but the bar was made of steel. Unless you focused you couldn’t break it.
“Look at you. I bet if I touched you even a little you would cum.” He ran his index finger lightly over your clit and you fell apart.
“One! Oh my…one.” You moaned and that beautiful sound went right to Steve’s cock. He stroked himself outside of his pants at first. He wanted to last as long as you. It would be difficult.
“Good girl. That’s my good, Princess. Doing so well.”
He kept the balls swirling while he licked a stripe up your cunt. His lips closed over your clit. Your hips bucked wildly against his face. You threw your head back against the bed and screamed, “Fuck! Two!”
He pressed the pads of his fingers over your clit and rubbed furiously. “Three” you whimpered.
He smacked your pussy hard. “Didn’t hear you, love.”
“Three, sir.”
“You getting tired on me? You have three more. Color, darling.”
“Green, sir.”
“Oooh. She’s being a warrior tonight. Give me one more in my mouth and I’ll take two on my cock.”
“Yes, sir.”
He went back to licking your snatch. You were sonsensitive. His big hands held you still while he licked and nibbled. Steve leaned on the railing panting. He couldn’t take it anymore. He unsheathed his throbbing member and wrapped it tight in his fist.
You got to four and tears started streaking your face. Erik pulled out the balls and tossed them aside. You mewled at the emptiness in your pussy. Erik undressed. When his cock was free he ran the leaking tip around the hole pushing in ever so slightly. The stretch made you cry out.
“So wet for me. You’re leaking and I haven’t even pushed all the way in. Do you want more?” You nodded so he pulled away. “Use your words or you won’t get to cum.”
“More please, sir. I need it.” He slammed into you letting his pelvis hit your clit hard.
“Was that five, my darling?”
“N…no, sir. M’so close.”
“Give it to me.” His hips pumped faster and faster. You screamed and nearly arched yourself in half.
“Fiiiiive. Yellow, sir.”
“Oh you feel so good around my cock. One more and then I’ll paint your belly and tits.”
Steve pumped his fist in time with Erik’s hips. When you came the sixth time, so did he. Hot ropes of cum dribbled onto his hand. He kept stroking while Erik finished.
“Think you can go for seven? It would make me so proud.” You were much too sensitive.
“Red! Red red red.” Erik pulled out immediately and jerked himself all over your belly and breasts. Out of breath he fell over onto the bed next to you. You looked wrecked. With a wave of his hand your wrists were free. He undid the spreader and kissed you deeply.
“Water, Princess?”
“Yes, please.” He brought you a glass and held it to your lips. He tossed you your dress. You didn’t clean yourself up. That was part of the scene. You went home still sticky with his cum. Steve was feral at the thought of licking another man’s seed off of you. He made it down and onto his bike before you got to the door.
You took your payment and kissed Erik goodbye.
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Steve made it into the house moments before you. He changed his clothes and acted like he had been home all night. His heart thumped loud in his ears when he heard your keys in the door.
“Hey, honey. Didn’t expect you so early.” You patted him on the head as you limped into the bathroom.
“Need a shower.”
“Can I join you?” The thought of cumming again nearly made you cry.
“Yes, but only to shower.” He jumped up and followed you. You shook out your hair and went to unzip your dress but his hands were there already.
“You look so pretty right now. All fucked out. You were such a good girl tonight.” Every nerve in your body prickled. He kissed down your neck and the top of your spine.
“Steve, did you follow me?” Your voice was low. Your expression unreadable.
“Are you mad? I just wanted peace of mind. I got a lot more than that. I’m not saying I’ll be ok every time. But, if I’m honest, I’ve been thinking about licking that cum off of you.” Your whole body went warm. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips as you edged down your dress.
“Did you like what you saw, sweet boy?”
“Mmm. Very much.”
“Did you make yourself cum watching us?”
“I did.” He ground his hard cock into your ass cheek.
“I’m so sticky. Clean me up before we shower.” He knelt in front of you and licked all of the dried cum off of your belly. “Mmm. Good boy.”
“I need to be inside of you so bad. Please can I fuck you?”
“Please fuck me, Steve.”’ He brought you into the shower and soaped you up. After the two of you were clean he kissed you fiercely. He lifted your hips and drove into you. “I can’t wait until Jamie gets home so I can tie you to the chair while he fucks my brains out. Wanna watch Jamie fuck me, sweet boy?” He moaned loudly.
“Yes, ma’am. Wanna watch him pound this pretty pussy.” It wasn’t long before you both lost it.
You got into bed and stretched out on his chest. “Y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“I had no idea I would like that.”
You giggled, “We learn something new about ourselves every day.” You both completely passed out.
The next morning Bucky got home early. He was shocked that Steve wasn’t already up. He found the two of you sleeping soundly. He nearly cried at how content you were. Steve opened his eyes and pressed his finger to his lips. Bucky got undressed and crawled in behind you. He pressed a kiss onto your shoulder and laid an arm across your back. He and Steve laced their fingers together.
“Did you make up?” He whispered.
“Something like that. It’s a long story.” You stirred a little.
“Jamie?”
“I’m home, baby doll. Go back to sleep.” He kissed you again and pulled the covers over you.
“K. Steve’s a kinky freak.” You buried your face into Steve to shield you from the sun streaming in from the curtains.
Bucky raised an eyebrow and smiled. Steve kept his eyes closed. “What the fuck happened?”
“Get some sleep. I promise we’ll show you later.” He kissed the back of Bucky’s hand and fell back to sleep. Bucky forced himself to close his eyes. He couldn’t imagine what was going to happen but he couldn’t wait to find out.
142 notes · View notes
kiranatrix · 4 years
Note
I feel like the nature of Light’s ideology and his methods get caricatured a great deal in the fandom (especially by those who only viewed the anime). I keep seeing popular memes about Light killing petty shoplifters who are only attempting to feed their family and I always get the sense that they’re largely inaccurate (for the most part). Light notices in the Yotsuba arc that Kira’s sentencing spares those: who’ve served their sentences and improved their ways, who committed justifiable crimes, and who have shown remorse. So it feels off to seeing portrayed that way, especially when Light’s elimination of innocents (such as the FBI agents, Naomi, etc...) are usually for strategic purposes, intended to help him progress ahead. Not to mention this pervasive belief that Light apparently didn’t know that he would be bound to sentence some innocents to death (with his large kill count per day). Wouldn’t it be more likely that Light knew that it was inevitable and was willing to sacrifice those lives for “the greater good,” in his view?
This is a doozy of an ask, anon. But it is GLORY bc these are all excellent things for me to ramble about Light (thank you!). I’ll take them point by point, strap in cause this is a bit long. *cracks knuckles*
You’re absolutely right that fandom often boils Light’s character and ideology down to a few basic elements that are distorted, mostly to drag him. Let’s be honest-- it’s fun to drag characters, even our favs-- and pretty much everyone in Death Note deserves it. But it does become annoying when its inaccurate, like with your example about who Kira focused on killing and some others I see. To be clear, this isn’t any kind of apology for the bastardly things Light DID do, but clarifying what he was and wasn’t about.
Did Light kill petty criminals?
The only time it is mentioned that Light kills criminals for non-serious crimes is when he was under surveillance by L (the infamous potato chip scene) and had to kill someone on the news right then, as well as the immediate coverup. In that circumstance, he couldn’t afford to be picky-- he needed L to see a signature Kira death (heart attack) when Light supposedly couldn’t be doing it. The crimes that appeared on the news that night (in his chip bag TV lol) ended up being non-serious criminals, and Light wasn’t so thrilled about this. 
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Mainly because it meant he had to cover his tracks and kill a few more minor criminals so it really did look like Kira’s work. 
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But his focus was putting himself in the clear with L; those minor criminals were incidental, and when he had choice/freedom again, he did not focus on them. The ruse didn’t completely work because L thought minor criminals dying was suspicious since it deviated from Kira’s usual MO. So, L knew the real focus.
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This was a strategic move in service of, versus reflecting, Light’s ideology. This is something we see pop up again and again for Light. He is willing to do ‘wrong’ for the greater ‘good.’ We also see his distaste for killing petty criminals later when Light rebukes Mikami’s off-script killings in his thoughts. If Kira had been acting this way all along, then the Task Force wouldn’t have been surprised and Light wouldn’t have been pissed off that Mikami was doing it. 
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Kira was looking for violent criminals who had escaped justice, that’s his main goal. He’s also disagreeing with Mikami’s methods of punishing wrong-doers who paid their debt to society (as opposed to the Death Row criminals I discuss below who haven’t ‘paid their debt’ yet). He doesn’t want people to fear Kira and thinks shooting fish in a barrel, so to speak, would do that. His ideology is not punitive; to him, its about prevention. Petty crime wasn’t on his radar until he had to make that a temporary focus for his safety.
Did Light focus on criminals already in prison? 
I’ve seen plenty of posts in the Death Note tag grousing about how Light was ‘dumb’ because he only focused on criminals in prison, but that’s not wholly accurate. The first two names he wrote were criminals he witnessed in the process of a crime with actual victims that needed help (a hostage scenario where the perp had already murdered people, and a man about to rape). Then he went for the Big Bads in the news- the most vicious criminals world-wide.
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Other than criminals at large, he DID kill some criminals in prison. The times he did so were:
1) Killing criminals on Death Row who, in the eyes of law enforcement, “deserved the death penalty several times over.” These are criminals who had already been sentenced to die and Kira enacted the ‘justice.’
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2) During Light’s ‘testing phase’ of the Death Note when he was trying to understand the rules in a population he could control 
3) When he was trying to be conspicuous about deaths for L’s benefit, like throwing off the assumption that Kira was a student. Light knew that those deaths would be found immediately and attributed to Kira. 
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For 2 and 3, these criminals were likely to be on Death Row given what was said by INTERPOL about who Kira was killing behind bars. Ironically, even L thought Death Row criminals needed to die-- he chose Lind L Tailor from Death Row for his stunt, and said on TV he’d seek the death penalty for Kira. Hmm.
Why did Light kill innocent people?
The innocent people that Light killed include Raye Penber, the rest of the FBI agents in Japan investigating Kira, and Naomi Misora. L and Watari might be considered innocent per Kira’s ideology (Watari had probably murdered people but L had probably not, directly). Rem technically killed L and Watari, but Light certainly wanted them to die and orchestrated it that way. The innocent people that Light WOULD have killed include the Task Force (Mogi, Aizawa, Matsuda, Ide) and the SPK (Halle, Gevanni, Rester, Near,) if he’d won in the warehouse.
The main thread tying all these people together? They were all imminent threats to Light and were actively trying to stop and/or kill him. Killing them would never have crossed his mind if that hadn’t been the case. THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE DIDN’T ENJOY IT. Taking out his enemies was something Light did savor, he really loved that win. But it wasn’t like he wiped out the entire FBI or Japanese police force. Those were not his targets; these were individuals who threatened his goal and life, and he saw their killing as self-defense. 
Did Light kill any criminals who were innocent or wrongly convicted?
It’s certainly possible that he did but the manga never touches on it. Given that his MO for killing incarcerated criminals was limited to Death Row, he probably felt like those were safe bets (we know that’s not always the case in the real world, of course). But let’s say that Light, in canon, found out he’d killed someone wrongfully convicted. In the beginning of his journey as Kira (at 17-18), I honestly don’t think he’d given this a lot of thought. What’s funny is that Light was naively, and paradoxically, putting a lot of faith in the human justice system while simultaneously enacting his own justice that relied on having zero faith in the traditional channels. Makes my head spin, but Light is a fascinating character because of that kind of thinking. He championed sweeping ideals of right and wrong, but couldn’t be bothered with getting in the murky details. 
But by the time he’d grown up and matured some, especially after becoming part of the police force himself, he would have know it was a possibility. At that point, I agree that he’d view it as an inevitable sacrifice in service of, but not directly reflecting, his ‘greater good,’ like the previous choices he’d made. 
So why is Kira’s ideology so often distorted? For one thing, his thinking is kind of convoluted. The anime has less nuance about what Light’s about, and many people just watch that. Another common reason I see for this is that someone really, really hates Light for defeating L, and once we dislike someone it becomes easier to roll in more and more unlikeable qualities into a nasty villain pie. Any trait that is ‘bad’ can be overlaid onto Light because he is ‘bad,’ so it fits right?? Ha....no. He has plenty of bad traits and actions of his own to drag him for without inventing new ones. At the same time, I see L’s flaws and negative traits/actions being hand-waved away or justified because he is their fav. It happened with Minoru, too. 
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petri808 · 3 years
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We’ll Take Back Heaven a Nalu Yakuza Au
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
A loud slam of the organization’s front door caused Levy McGarden to pop her head out of her own office. Curious, she walked down the hallway and saw a light on in her boss’s, Lucy Heartfilia. Had the noise been Lucy returning? That was strange because it was too early for the woman to be back so soon. The party should have kept Lucy out of the office until morning. Levy knocked at the cracked door before entering.
“Lu, why are you here? Are you okay?” Levy quickly added when she saw her boss’s forehead leaning on the table. “Did you drink too much?”
“No… I ran into Natsu, and we had a fight,” Lucy answered without lifting her head. “He just makes me so angry sometimes, so I stormed out of there.”
“Aww, Lu.” Levy walked over and put a hand on her friend’s head. “I’m sorry.” Both Lucy and Natsu were childhood friends of hers, so she knew the history between them. It was just like a made for television movie plot and hard to stay neutral in at times because she loved them both. “Do you wanna talk about it? Need a drink?”
Having heard the loud noise, another associate Cana Alberona also came looking for the source and stumbled upon the beginnings of the conversation. “Did I hear the word drink?” She popped her head into the office. “Oh, baby what’s wrong??” She questioned at seeing Lucy upset. Cana quickly joined Levy next to their friend. “Who do I gotta kill?”
“It’s just Natsu,” Lucy mumbled. “So, no killing.”
“Oh… him.” Cana plopped her butt onto Lucy’s desk. “Ya sure? I bet I could get one of my girls to take him out of your misery.”
“He wouldn’t be interested,” Levy piped in.
“Right… he’s still—”
Lucy sat up groaning, cutting them off. “That’s enough. I really don’t wanna think about that shit right now.”
“Fine, fine, then drinks it is. Relax, babe,” Cana playfully pushed on Lucy’s shoulder before plopping off the desk. “Then you’re gonna dish about tonight.” Cana always kept a stock of liquors at her desk. So, she grabbed a bottle of high quality flavored junmai daiginjo sake, glasses and set the girls up for a gossiping session.
It was reasons like this that really spoke to the heart of their organization. Everyone in the top level of this girl’s gang had known each other from childhood or high school. They were close, a found family of sisters who all had one thing in common— a real dislike for Japan’s outdated notions of gendered norms, well that and a desire to make money. But not in a conventional way. None of them wanted to work a boring office job only to what, be subservient to the male status quo? No, thank you. So, it had been Lucy who’d first approached everyone with the idea of creating their own high-end crime organization. It was amusing at first to think about an all-girl gang similar to the Yakuza… Oh, they all knew why Lucy came up with the idea to spite Natsu and the Yakuza’s rules, but it was an appealing idea. Everyone except for Levy’s family had some kind of ties to the Yakuza, so they were in essence raised in the lifestyle without ever being able to be a part of it because of their sex.
Together they brought their strengths into play and under Lucy’s business savvy thanks to her father, within just a short couple of years they were on the road to making a real name for themselves. Levy McGarden was at the heart of the organization as a tech person, and her skills in computer language is the reason they’re able to control a massively successful money laundering operation. Cana Alberona had great people skills, so she handled the escort services. Another, Erza Scarlet was the security expert who oversaw anything to do with the protection of their assets and employees. She also kept contacts with law enforcement. Mira Strauss handled the bookkeeping and financial side, and finally Juvia Lockser managed their soapland operation. Lucy herself held everything together but was the face of the group when dealing with knew contacts and clientele. Six primary women running the organization with underlings or regular staff to manage, they were nicknamed the Yosei girls because of the various fairy-type tattoos they all had somewhere on their bodies. Lucy preferred not to show hers to outsiders, but it was a pair of fanciful fairy-like wings that took up a large portion of her upper back. Natsu used to call her his angel back in the day…
The three girls sat huddled around Lucy’s desk after Levy dragged over a couple extra chairs.
“Seriously?” Cana knocked back a shot of sake and planted it on the table. “So, you didn’t have a chance to hit any marks?”
“Nope.” Lucy sipped from her glass. “Sure, I talked to some people, but I never made it past my first cocktail. He even blocked me from getting some action tonight from the hot bartender.”
Cana cringed. “That’s even worse!”
Levy giggled at her friend, “of course, you’d take offense to that Cana instead of the job.”
“Well,” Cana shrugged nonchalantly, “girls gotta take care of needs too, right? And if he was hot, that’s a real shame.”
The comment sent both Levy and Lucy into a giggle fit. Lucy may have started this out irritated but leave it to her friends to bring her out of her despair.
“Oh,” Lucy sighed and finished her glass, “the guy Loke was a total playboy too. Perfect for a no strings attached night.”
“Loke?” Cana questioned. “Orange hair and glasses?”
“You know him?— of course, you know him,” Lucy chuckled. “Why am I surprised.”
“I’ve seen him at other parties bartending. Flirts with all— the pretty girls. Very easy to get into bed, and not bad while in it. I got his number if you want it.”
“Natsu scared him pretty bad. I think Loke recognized him.”
“Hmm, that’s possible too. But hey, what Natsu doesn’t know…”
“Oh, my Kami, Cana! You are just too much sometimes!”
“Hey, just tryin’ to help out my bestie here,” she winked.
“Nah, I’m not in the mood tonight, Natsu really killed my joy.”
“He really thought that the guys there were gossiping about you?” Levy questioned. “Just because you didn’t have an escort?”
“Yeah, and you know even if he was right, he didn’t need to be a dick about it.”
Levy sighed, “he was probably right. It sucks, but that level of men, they look down on women like us. You provide a service, so to them they’re still using you which makes you beneath them.”
“And how dare a woman show up without a man by her side,” Cana rolled her eyes. “Oh well, less guilt for me when I’m taking their money,” she laughed.
Levy and Lucy laughed too, then Lucy raised a glass. “To taking their money! Cheers!”
“Cheers!” The girls clinked their glasses together and shot down their drinks.
“Speaking of escorts, how are things going Cana?” Lucy asked. They called their employees escorts because that’s the only service they provided. Think of them like high-end modern geisha without the traditional look. Their employed women provided companionship for events or business executives trying to look good and we’re trained well in hospitality, etiquette, and such to keep their dates happy. The women were highly compensated for what they did, so it was very lucrative for everyone. Sex was forbidden on the job and if a client ever tried to pressure an escort or roughed them up, they would be immediately barred from the service. However, if the infraction were bad enough, that’s when Erza would step in and handle things. The group was lucky this rarely took place because the male clientele they had wouldn’t want the shame of embarrassment either.
“Going great. We’re already getting booked up for the holidays and that still 4 months away. I guess they wanna make sure they can get certain girls before it’s too late.”
“Suckers.” Lucy snickered. “We’re using their own social norms against them, and they don’t even realize it.”
Between the three friends, they drank about half the bottle before slowing down. The conversation switched between work related topics, private lives, and back to Natsu until Lucy would switch the topic again. She knew of her buddy’s willful infatuation in her decades old battle with the man, but she just wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. Lucy still had a lot to process privately about the issues and though she loved Cana as a sister, Levy was the only one she’d really tell her deepest feelings to and now wasn’t the time to rehash anything. A few hours passed by when a knock at the door came. Another of their group was dropping by before heading out to work.
“Hey Juvia!” The three tipsy girls giggle at the same time.
“Wanna join us?” Cana questioned.
“Juvia would but she needs to check on Faerieland.”
“How is our soapland operation doing? Any problems I need to know about?” Lucy asked Juvia. The Faerieland bathhouse was the lowest level of their operations since flesh services were considered distasteful. But nevertheless, it was a highly profitable and legal one. What set them apart from all the others was the high-end quality of services offered to guests, providing both male and/or female “bathers” that clients could pay extra for to have a sexual experience. However, for that service, the client was required to be vetted by an inhouse doctor prior to a booking to make sure they were free of STD’s. Again, that was just one reason Faerieland was considered so high end and very exclusive. Some might have found it inconvenient, but most of the regulars appreciated the health factor. It’s what kept them coming back. All the employed bathers were screened regularly by an in-house doctor, and contrary to societal belief, were there by their own choice. So, the combination of anonymity, safety, and level of service kept the soapland business running with very little down times in between.
Juvia shook her head. “No problems, just busy due to the heat this time of year. Private bookings are scheduled out into next month.”
“That’s good to hear,” Levy smiled. “It’s nice that things have been running so smoothly.”
“Agreed,” Cana and Lucy chimed in.
“There is one thing Juvia should tell Lucy.” Her voice lowered, hesitant. “Mr. Natsu has an appointment booked for the end of the month. And he… just made it tonight.”
Lucy rolled her eyes and her voice dripped with irritation. “So, who’d he sign up to bang?”
“Nobody. Mr. Natsu only booked the deluxe bath and massage package. No sex.”
“Oh—” Lucy caught her surprise before she could show it, waving her hand nonchalantly as if she didn’t care. “W-well good for him. Not that I care if we’re making money of it.”
“Juvia is so relieved! She was worried you wouldn’t like him using our bath house.”
“It’s rare that he does,” Cana tapped her chin. “Hmmm, I wonder why he made the appointment tonight of all days…”
Levy slapped Cana on the arm, glaring at the woman to behave and Juvia just stood there wide-eyed and confused.
“What?!” Cana laughed. “I thought it was funny.”
“Ha-Ha,” Lucy mocked Cana. “What Natsu does is his own business and it’s not like he was trying to relieve himself tonight, the appointment is what, two and half weeks or so away? I’m not gonna lose sleep over it.”
“Okay… Juvia is confused but needs to go. Someone can fill Juvia in tomorrow.”
“Sorry, Juvia,” Levy apologized for the others. “I’ll fill you in later. But don’t worry! Everything is okay.”
“That’s good. Well then. Goodnight, everyone!” Juvia waved as she left the office.
“Goodnight!” The three waved.
“Cana,” Lucy reignited the debated now that Juvia was gone. “I don’t care if Natsu sleeps with other women, how can I when I have no problem sleeping with other men. We’re not a couple. But what does irritate me is that of all the bathhouses to choose, why mine??”
“It’s probably because of our services…” Levy threw in to diffuse the tension. “We do provide the best.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lucy sighed, “it just— it feels like he’s doing it on purpose.”
“You know I’m just teasing you, Lucy.” Cana retorted. “But I think you’re also reading too much into it. He’s a guy and history has shown a clueless one when it comes to women, so I doubt he’s masterminded going to the bathhouse as a way to irritate you.”
Lucy exhaled. “You guys are probably right. I guess I’m just still too wound up because of the party.”
“Maybe what you need to do is to unwind Lu,” Levy suggested.
Lucy sat back for a moment mulling over the idea. Yeah, maybe she should. It sure as hell wouldn’t hurt. Maybe let off some steam and stop thinking about Natsu, and a one-night fling could do just that. “You know what…” she turned to Cana with a new resolve. “What’s Loke’s number?”
Cana whipped out her phone. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!”
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bigskydreaming · 3 years
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In a mood and I’m trying not to be, but oof. Not easy at the moment. Real life stresses are kicking my butt and I’m decidedly limited in resources for addressing that at the moment, so might as well get this off my chest, lol. Already lost the usual fifty followers or so I lose every single time I post about stuff the way I did the other day, so what’s some more, y’know?
So earlier today I tried to get my mind off things with some fic, and happened across one I hadn’t read before that promised Jason and Dick talking things out and bonding. Halfway through I sighed and went oh, this is familiar, and skipped to the bottom to check the end notes and comments to see if there was any mention of this next part, but nope. The reason for the sigh was it took me about halfway into the fic to realize that it was blatantly inspired by my post about what if Jason was missing some memories from his death/resurrection and the Pit, like specifically the ski trip they took, stuff like that. Now I’m not so egotistical as to think nobody but me has certain ideas, but its fairly easy for me to recognize when someone is basing something off a post of mine because of specific turns of phrases that I use and like, they hit ten or so bullet points from my post without missing a one. Like, there’s parallel evolution and similar ideas, and then there’s going down a check list, y’know?
And don’t get me wrong....I don’t mind people basing stuff of my posts, being inspired by them, etc. I WANT that. I’m GLAD to have that happen.
The part I mind is the way this all ties back into my interaction with fandom as a whole....and this fandom’s interaction with me. Which I don’t tend to hear NEARLY as much about as I tend to have people giving me shit about my impact on fandom....but ONLY the negative impact.
In the four years or so that I’ve been active in this fandom, I can think of only three people who have given me some kinda shout out for being the basis of one of their fics. Three people. And in that time I’ve come across literal dozens of fics that I am almost certain can trace their way back to popular posts of mine. There’s the post about Jason’s memories and the ski trip for one - this fic isn’t an isolated occurrence, I’ve found a good half a dozen or so I feel fall into the same pattern. There’s fics based off my posts about how fucked up the blame Dick got for Spyral was, with my certainty based on the fact that I know I’m the only fucking person who ever brought up various key phrases like “Bruce not having an extraction plan for Dick’s highly dangerous undercover op, leaving him stranded when Bruce got/(chose) amnesia.” I made a big deal about that in a few posts because of the fact I NEVER saw that particular element raised in any fics, and a couple months after I started including that bit regularly, I was seeing the words ‘without an extraction plan’ in every other new post Spyral fic. That’s not a coincidence.
There’s been stuff that included bits and phrasings from my post about Dick and Jason being partners who focused on helping kids who had been abused specifically....oh wait, no, my bad. The two fics I’m thinking of there lifted straight up entire lines from that post but just made it about Jason and TIM doing that instead, despite like.....the entire basis of that headcanon stemming from Dick’s juvie origin but whatever. There’s been stuff based on juvie posts of mine, stuff based on posts I’ve made about Mirage, there’s been stuff based on the post about Jason looking into why Dick was undercover as a mob enforcer and then Renegade, there’s been stuff clearly inspired by my headcanons about Jason calling Dick for advice after the Garzonas case. I could go on. There’s a fucking LOT.
I don’t try to give myself too much credit but I’m not unaware of being a loud voice in this fandom and that having an impact. And like I said, I’m not adverse to inspiring people to make their own stuff based off an idea they initially saw me present. That’s fine. People should feel free to do that. My problem is that none of this exists in a vacuum. It exists in a fandom where I regularly get people lecturing me on my presentation, people hyping up how negative I make fandom, my condescension, my anger, my hostility, etc, etc. 
But the thing I never see is any awareness whatsoever that like....dudes, I’m literally just a guy on the internet. And that goes two ways. Yeah, I have an impact on people, but they have one on me too. And I’m tired and frustrated by it being acted like this is a one way street and everyone is just helpless victims of my bullying, while meanwhile SOME OF THE EXACT SAME PEOPLE GIVING ME CRAP FOR MY NEGATIVITY are ACTIVELY adding to their own fics with stuff that I JUST posted about.
And like, I see people vagueblogging about the negativity on their dashes and its impact on fandom right after I have a Dick Grayson rant blow up and get a few hundred notes......but its acted like I DID that to fandom, that’s my negativity and mine alone when its like....y’know, if you’re not following me yourself, and this stuff is still on your dash, you uh....have to be following people who reblog my negative posts for some reason or another. And given that there are obviously reasons you follow THOSE people, maybe instead of worrying about what I’M doing all the time, you can spare a thought or two for the fact that I don’t have any power to make people reblog anything, and for whatever reason, something about my oh so negative post resonated with those people reblogging it onto your dash, which also kinda suggests it wasn’t negative in THEIR eyes, but was actually a kind of validation of thoughts or feelings they already had?
Trust me, there’s no mind control ray at work here. This mood is also brought to you by the cricket sounds that come every time I fucking BEG people to reblog and signal boost posts I make about rape/abuse fandom trends and depictions from my POV as a survivor, specifically. Like I mentioned, I LOSE followers every time I bring that stuff up. It doesn’t benefit me in any way whatsoever, in fact my notes tend to go comparatively radio silent for a good couple weeks after I go off on one of those jaunts, because idk, people don’t want THEIR mutuals and followers to think they agree with some of my oh so controversial stances?
Actually, I say idk, but I do know is the thing, because people actually go on anon and tell me they appreciate me posting stuff like this, and its like.....that....doesn’t actually make me feel good? Because I never expect any single person in particular to reblog me, but when I say crickets after I post on those topics, I mean CRICKETS. I’m lucky if I can get five reblogs on those posts in total, and those are usually all from the same people. It actually kinda sucks knowing that people agree with me and what I have to say there, but they won’t put it on their own blogs because this fandom is so fucking STEEPED in its views, they don’t want to risk their friendships or back-and-forths with certain popular fandom authors by rocking the boat.
Because meanwhile I’m making myself target practice for the people who really would like me to shut up on certain topics but are too cowardly to ever confront me directly about why they dislike what I have to say there, in the vain hope that other people might finally even just START to pass some of that on even for consideration....because I can make waves by myself just by being loud and consistent, but I can’t do shit to actually make CHANGE without other people agreeing in PUBLIC so that fandom is forced to confront the fact that no, certain opinions aren’t just one loud asshole being annoying, there’s an actual viewpoint here that people actually have in greater numbers than we realized and we DON’T have as much of a monopoly on this topic as we thought.
I have anons who give me shit accusing me of driving off certain authors by making this fandom not fun for them anymore, when like, I never even fucking INTERACTED with the authors in question. Some of the names I’m accused of driving off I don’t even KNOW. I’m called an ‘abusive survivor shaming cunt’ with zero irony or self-awareness that they’re literally doing the exact same thing because they don’t like the stance *I* take as a survivor posting about how ‘some survivors use dark fic/rape fantasy to cope’ shouldn’t be treated as a monolithic defense of such things if it leads directly into the same kind of survivor shaming other people view criticism of such fic as being in the first place.
I’ve had to unfollow mutuals because I post about how reblogging posts about purity culture is a direct fucking slap into the face to people like me whose stances on fandom culture are directly based on our own personal experiences and the intersection those have with various popular fandom takes.....like you don’t have to agree with all my takes obviously, but if you can’t see how framing a naive pursuit of ideological purity as the only possible reason people object to certain fandom trends when I’m literally standing right here saying no actually, the way these fandom trends impact me is the reason for me saying the things I say when I say “here’s how this fandom trend impacts me”.....like.....c’mon. 
And I’ve had mutuals unfollow me because despite following me because they liked my takes on social justice issues THEY care about, I just ‘post too much about what’s really just a personal issue’ and has no larger social relevance whatsoever, obviously. LOL. (Oh and this of course has nothing to do with them getting friendly with various popular authors on discord, who happen to be vocal about ‘disapproving’ of any fic criticism whatsoever. Just FYI, there’s a reason I haven’t followed anyone new or made any new mutuals in like....a year. I have my reasons for being....not quick about that).
I get condescended to constantly about not minding the tags, and then radio silence when I list literal examples of ways in which people haven’t tagged things correctly, tagged things at all, or literally used the tags in an attempt TO trigger people they just don’t like. 
And meanwhile, allllllll of this keeps happening while the general narrative is I’m this loud asshole guy with zero concern about anything but his own personal likes or dislikes and who makes fandom a negative place that’s unwelcoming in general. And with basically zero mention of all the ways in which I’ve contributed to this fandom, the amount of content I’ve made that has DIRECTLY inspired people, and the productive conversations I’ve started which have resulted in people actually changing the way they approach various characters or dynamics in fics.
Its THAT part that bugs me, specifically.
Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now.....I’m not anyone’s victim. Negative fandom interactions are negative fandom interactions. All this complaining I’m doing here - lol, that’s all it is. I’m venting. I’m pissed off and I think its relevant to a greater fandom dynamic or tendencies a lot of people unknowingly or consciously reinforce, and so I’m just fucking SAYING it because while its not something I EXPECT this post will do much to change, if at all, I would still like it to change so any effort towards that end is still better than no effort at all...hence, my posting this rather than bottling it up so at least people have it to consider. 
If you don’t agree with it, if you don’t like that it exists at all, if it ruins your day to have to consider whether or not you or people you know or even like are active participants in what someone else is describing as y’know....fairly day-ruining in its own way? Hit that unfollow, that block, that make new text post button of your own and have your own rant about what a douchebag I am.
Literally all I’m trying to express is like.....fa*ndom’s got a lot to say about the stuff I have to say about fandom, but like....this is a two way interaction. A lot of people make a big deal about MY impact (again, JUST the negative though, lol) but I don’t ever see anyone ever addressing anyone else about hey maybe you could spare a thought or two about YOUR impact for a change as well.
I mean, what if....just maybe...what if.....a lot of my behavior or attitude has a lot to do with how people approach or talk about me BEFORE that display of attitude or certain behavior? Weirdly....I feel like maybe something that could then have a transformative effect on the kind of behavior or attitude people dislike from me....is.....them acknowledging or addressing things they might have done to prompt certain responses from me?
I don’t actually like being whiny or negative or down in general, just to be clear? If I see something I have a problem with or think could use change or improvement, I say so - but I pretty much always put an effort into expressing both WHY and HOW I think possible change could look - because I’m not generally interested in being negative for the sake of just being negative. I just....want things to be better. That’s not an obsession with purity or perfection, btw, I will NEVER understand how people think that survivors of rape and abuse (which include a lot more ‘antis’ than anyone else seems to want to acknowledge) and the like EVER expects perfection or thinks that the world will ever produce that - lol no I’m actually pretty clear that things being perfect is pointless, I’m just interested in BETTER.
But I mean, I like being goofy and silly and also analytical and contemplative and also creative and spontaneous. I like lots of things. I like lots of moods. I like producing, creating, generating, interacting, engaging, I like a million things more than I like THIS kind of mood, THIS kind of post.
But I’m just not someone who is content to sit and stew in that sort of thing when I know full well that the problem does not actually stem from something broken or flawed inside of me, because I’m also someone who does believe very strongly in periodic bouts of self-reflection and honest self-assessment.....so that I can change things about myself when and where I feel necessary. But this also has the effect of me also being VERY aware of when the problem is not internal, but actually just me having a perfectly valid reaction or emotional response to outside stimulus. Aka fandom’s interaction with me, every bit as much as my interaction with fandom.
So....posts like this. I’ll do my usual rituals, get myself back onto my preferred trains of thought soon enough on my own, because ultimately that is all I can control and just because I make posts like this doesn’t mean I ever EXPECT any specific result - or a result at all - to come from it. 
But, y’know, sue me for being hopeful.
I know. What an ass am I?
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Makes for Good Practice
Summary:  Glimmer and Bow babysit Finn for Catra and Adora....And start to wonder if maybe the kid is more closely related to Catra than any of them originally expected. Originally done for the 2020 Glimbow Week Countdown Prompt “Babysitting”.
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“I still can’t believe those two had a kid before us,” Bow marveled aloud to Glimmer as they watched the scruffy-looking magicat child gather up their toys for the game they’d been developing.
Finn had only been at Bright Moon for a few months, but it seemed like they’d already more than made themselves comfortable. It was quite the stark contrast from when Catra and Adora had first brought the child in from the forest. The couple could hardly believe there was a time when Finn had insisted on hiding under the furniture, only being coaxed out by the promise of food; now they seemed to all but demand attention unless they had their mind on something else.
Glimmer smirked a little at her husband’s words. “Yeah, well,” she began, leaning back slightly in the cushioned chair she was sitting in. “They did kinda cheat, so I don’t know if we should really count it.”
Considering how competitive their friends could be, Glimmer almost had to wonder if it really was a coincidence that the two of them had found Finn mere weeks after learning that she and Bow were expecting their first child. But, she decided not to think much of it, mostly because the kid was pretty cute – not surprising considering they were basically just a giant kitten, acting even more like one than Catra tended to.
Bow couldn’t help but grin at Glimmer’s comment, and was about to open his mouth to respond, but instead the only thing that came out of his mouth was a yelp of surprise as he ducked his head to avoid being smacked by one of the toys their charge was haphazardly tossing about.
“Finn!” Glimmer scolded as the six-year-old darted over to grab the toy they’d accidentally launched at Bow’s head.
One of Finn’s ears twitched before the turned to face the Queen, their expression so innocent that literally anyone who had any common sense would be able to tell it was absolutely fake. And if the expression didn’t give it away, their tone of voice when they spoke definitely did.
“Yes, Auntie Glimmer?” Finn asked, practically purring as they spoke, tilting their head to the side as though to try and make themselves seem all the more childlike and innocent. Glimmer wasn’t going to call for it.
“Finn, you can’t just throw stuff around like that. You could really hurt someone,” she told the child, trying to find the rest amount of firmness for her tone of voice.
The blank look on the child’s face made her seriously wonder if maybe she hadn’t been firm enough. In her defense, it wasn’t as though she’d had much practice in this area; she hadn’t even been expecting to have to do anything like this for at least a couple of years.
Finn’s blank expression quickly morphed into one of indignation, their light blue eyes narrowing into slits and their tail flicking back and forth in clear signs of anger, most likely an anger that stemmed from being scolded.
“S’not like I threw it at him on purpose, Aunt Glimmer,” Finn practically growled. “And he didn’t get hit anyway, so doesn’t matter even if I did.”
Glimmer was genuinely torn between being frustrated at the response…and being just as amused by it. Of course her friends would take in a kid like this, one who seemed to dislike authority almost as much as they despised being forced to take an actual bath instead of simply liking themselves clean. It probably didn’t help that – most definitely the result of wanting to avoiding being anything like the woman who had raised them – neither Adora nor especially Catra had actually done much in the way of the disciplinary part of childrearing in the months since Finn had come to stay with them.
And Glimmer understood why they were worried about going too far, she really did. But, times like this made her wish that maybe she’d understood that being put in a time out was probably not gonna make their kid think they were horrible people and hate them forever?
She couldn’t help but let out a frustrated groan – which came out sounding a bit more like a growl than she’d want to admit, considering who she was dealing with. The groan soon gave way to a small gasp as she quickly covered her mouth with her hand. Whoever called this morning sickness should be questioned what they thought ‘morning’ meant…as should whoever wrote in all those books that it should start to fade once she was out of the first trimester.
“Are you okay?” Bow asked, momentarily distracting her from both the talk she’d been trying to have with Finn, as well as the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied once she felt confident enough that she could speak without gagging. “I’m fine.”
The nausea had sapped away what little energy she had for arguing with Finn, so she just gave her charge a warning look and told them to be more careful with their toys….or else she’d ground them herself; she had the guards to help her enforce it, if it came to that.
Finn grumbled under their breath but gave a begrudging nod, tail still flicking back and forth in anger as they stomped off to continue their game. Once they were left alone again, Glimmer flopped down next to her husband, leaning her body against his as she asked, “Why did we agree to watch them again?”
The feeling of Bow’s fingers running through her hair got her to feel considerably better, even though she was still fairly tired; though at this point, she wasn’t entirely sure if the exhaustion was the result of the kid the young couple was watching over…or the one that she had currently developing inside her belly.
“Because we’re good friends who wanted to do a favor for Adora and Catra,” Bow replied, still stroking her hair with one hand, while the other arm wrapped around her, his hand resting on her stomach, which was just beginning to grow. Glimmer rolled her eyes.
“Oh, right,” she said, leaning back into him a little more. “Kinda forgot that being a good friend can sort of suck a bit.”
A small chuckle escaped from Bow’s lips and Glimmer was suddenly hit by a strong sense of realization. Considering their past, if there was anyone who knew exactly what she was talking about with friendship sometimes being a pain, it was him.
She muttered an apology, worried that perhaps she’d brought back some painful memories with what she’d said, but Bow simply wrapped his arm a little tighter around her; she figured that meant he wasn’t too upset by it.
There was a sudden crashing sound coming from nearby, and without even thinking, Glimmer immediately teleported over to the origin – completely forgetting that Bow was still holding onto her, meaning that she ended up dragging him along for the ride. She also forgot that teleporting tended to make her nauseous, and found herself doubling over, struggling to keep the crackers she’d eaten earlier down, while Bow held onto her to help her stay on her feet. Glimmer was still trying to focus on settling her stomach her attention was pulled away by the sound of her husband’s voice.
“Finn?” Bow asked, the tone of his voice making it very apparent he was struggling not to raise his voice too much. “What are you doing with that? Actually, never mind why you have it – just put it down, right now.”
Now somewhat confused and more or less recovered from the nausea, Glimmer looked up to see exactly what Bow was so worked up about. What she saw upon lifting up her head made her almost start choking on nothing, just out of pure shock; there, perched on the kitchen counter, was Finn, holding a knife that was almost as long as their whole forearm in one of their hands.
How they’d gotten their hands on the knife was a question that briefly passed through her mind, but it was gone just as quickly. How they got it wasn’t the main issue – getting it away from them was. After all, she still felt like she was unprepared for parenthood, but even she knew they a kid that young shouldn’t be anywhere near a knife that big, much less actually be wielding it like Finn was currently doing.
Unfortunately – but probably not surprisingly – it didn’t seem like the young one was listening to the demands of their “uncle”. Rather than handing over the knife, Finn simply plopped down so that their bottom was resting on the counter, their legs dangling over the edge. As they swung their feet back and forth, they looked at the two adults with an undoubtedly defiant expression clear as day on their face.
“Why should I?” they asked, and the tone in their voice made Glimmer realize just why her mom had always gotten on her case about the tone she used when they had argued during her younger years.
If she had made her mom feel like how Finn was making her feel right now…Well, she didn’t have time to think about that at the moment; the more important issue was getting the knife away from Finn before they managed to find a way to chop their own tail off.
The kid may have been getting on her nerves, but the last thing Glimmer wanted was for them to get hurt, especially that badly.
“Finn…” she began with a sigh, despite trying not to make it too clear just how tired she already was. “What do you even want with a knife? If you just think it’s cool, I’ll give you something else to play with that’s just as good – probably better, actually, since it won’t make you have to worry about cutting yourself by playing with it.”
That seemed to get the kitten’s attention. They didn’t let go of the knife just yet, but they did look intrigued as they looked at the Queen; the fact that they hopped off the counter with a gleam in their eyes was an even better sign.
“Really?” Finn was practically purring as they started to step closer to Glimmer, tail flicking back and forth in what they’d learned from the years with Catra was a sign of excitement. “What is it?”
The next sound out of the child’s mouth was an outraged yowl, let out in response to Glimmer simply reaching out and snatching the knife out of their hand.
Before they could say anything else, Glimmer teleported away, reappearing a moment later without the knife and with a noticeably flushed face, mumbling something under her breath.
Without even looking, she knew Bow would be looking concerned, but that wasn’t where her attention was focused at the moment. Instead, the first thing she did was look at a positively fuming Finn.
The child was clearly hoping that their angry look would be enough to make Glimmer feel sorry for what she had done, or maybe even afraid of what they might do in response to having “their” knife taken away. Unfortunately for Finn, Glimmer was well past the point of caring that they were upset, if she ever had reached that point at all.
Instead, she simply walked over to where they were standing, looking them straight in the eye with an expression that probably would have given her mother a case of déjà vu had she been around to witness it.
“Listen,” she began, her tone making it clear that she wasn’t going to let the kid argue with her. “I get that you want to find something to play with, and I can even get wanting to check out some kind of weapon…But, if you think we’re just going to let you wave a knife around, you better thing again.”
Finn opened their mouth to say something, but ultimately seemed to decide against it. Instead, they just grumbled something under their breath, and walked over to Bow, barely even giving Glimmer a glance as they walked past her. Once the cat-child was standing in front of the King, they tiled their head up to look him in the eyes, tail flicking slightly back and forth as they said, “I want a snack.”
The brief glance they’d given Glimmer as they approached Bow had already felt a little bit like a challenge, and their tone as they made their request just proved it in her eyes. There was a part of her that wanted to speak up, to call the kid out on how much of a brat they were being right now, but she didn’t say anything.
Glimmer had plenty of faith in Bow to know how to respond to what Finn was really asking for; they may have said they wanted a snack, but she could tell what they were really looking for – proof that they could get at least one of the adults to give into their demands, whatever they were and whether or not they were deserved.
There was a moment of tense silence in which both the child and the Queen awaited an answer from the archer-turned-King, who briefly glanced at his wife before turning his eyes back to their charge.
“Sorry, Finn, but it’s almost time for dinner – if we let you have a snack now, you’re not going to eat any of it,” he explained, sounding like he was somewhat apologetic…but also that he wasn’t going to step down. Which Glimmer had to admit she was thankful for – she really didn’t need to have Bow turned against her right now.
Finn’s cheeks puffed out in anger, making the sitters briefly wonder if they were trying to hold their breath in an attempt to break at least one of them. Once they seemed to realize that it wasn’t going to work, they released the breath in a combination of a huff and a hiss.
“Fine, but I’m not gonna like whatever we gotta eat,” the young cat-person proclaimed, their ears twitching slightly as they made their way out of the kitchen, heading back to the direction of the living area.
As they left, Bow and Glimmer both let out a small sigh of relief before sharing a look that clearly said, “I think we can live with that.”
Still, they did follow after Finn, if only to keep an eye on them. Despite the earlier issues, it didn’t take long before the child seemed to have forgiven their sitters, and was practically demanding Glimmer and Bow take part in whatever game of pretend they had come up with in the past fifteen minutes. Which was a pretty good way to describe the game, since the whole time they were playing, Finn would periodically change or add something new to the rules or the storyline, seemingly completely out of the blue; though they always seemed to think the sudden changes made perfect sense.
The game went on for a while, until the chefs came to announce that dinner was served, at which point the three of them went to eat, though not without a bit of complaint from Finn, who had tried to insist on finishing the game beforehand.
Until they learned that the main course was roasted waterfowl, at which point they immediately tossed away their toys and darted towards the dining room, not even glancing back when Bow told them to slow down a bit. And despite their earlier insistence that they wouldn’t like the meal, Finn not only devoured every bit of food on the plate, but they also asked for seconds.
They almost asked for thirds as well; it was only the reminder that dessert was still on the table that prevented them from doing so. Still, between the two servings of the main course and quite a bit of dessert, the child ended up being quite drowsy from a full stomach by the time they finally decided they were done.
In fact, Finn had already started to nod off when Glimmer had finished her last piece of the mixed-fruit pie the kitchen staff had prepared for the night’s dessert; and seemed to be fully asleep by the time the table had been cleared off and the staff had been dismissed for the night.
“You know, when they’re asleep like this, it’s almost easy to forget the whole knife-stealing thing,” Glimmer commented with a slight smirk, looking down at Finn, curled into a ball against Bow’s side; the Queen herself was snuggled tightly against the other.
Bow let out a small chuckle at the comment.
“At least now we know that we’ll be able to handle this little one,” he replied, moving slightly – and carefully, so as not to disturb the sleeping child – to place his hand gently on Glimmer’s belly.
Glimmer couldn’t help but laugh a little at the comment, though she did mumble an agreement to the statement, even as she found herself starting to get a little sleepy as well. Not that anyone could blame her – taking care of Finn for the past few hours had been kind of exhausting, not to mention she was typically falling asleep earlier lately even without that being a factor. The fact that she felt so comfortable snuggling up with her husband on the sofa really wasn’t helping matters, either.
“Wake me up when Adora and Catra get back, okay?” she requested through a yawn, allowing her head to rest upon Bow’s shoulder.
She was already starting to fall asleep when he responded, but figured he was most likely agreeing to do just that. So, after letting out another yawn, Glimmer snuggled up closer to Bow, feeling secure and content as she felt herself drift off to sleep after the eventful day they’d had.
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tortoisenottortoise · 3 years
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Am I the only one who likes seeing muscular women in media more than muscular men?
Alright so, this one will probably end up much shorter and a little more ranty than I'd like, but this is kind of personal so be fairly warned. 
 Recently I've seen a few complaints about the new He-Man show and honestly, I fully understand and empathize with them. Whilst I haven't fully seen the show, from what I've viewed I can personally speaking agree (or at the very least understand) where most criticisms come from. I think it's incredibly shitty that the writer basically lied to his audience about how the show would run. Now normally I'd be fine with a twist such as He-man dying, but he's an important part of the show and the way the marketing & merchandising for it was running kind of comes across as him basically using He-Man's name to get people into the show. I also feel like it's fine to view Teela as obnoxious and annoying, nothing about her personality-wise seems likable to me. I also heard a few complaints about Orko's (I think that's his name, don't crucify me) backstory and how his character was handled.Yet as the title suggests one that didn't stick with me was the criticism of Teela and a general trend towards the criticism of women in media as being "masculine". 
I've heard over and over that Hollywood representing strong women by giving them masculine traits is a bad thing and yet... I kind of don't get it? It feels odd to say, almost like I'm the dumbest man alive for admitting something which most people on the internet seem to be so sure about, yet I just don't understand where this is coming from. I've seen this thrown at She-hulk, Wonder Woman, Abby, and many other characters, yet when inquired it usually loops back around to, "Yeah they have muscles", and that's about it. This type of criticism in specific seems to overly focus on the appearance of said characters. It's the one critique I just can't get behind and it feels like at best it's a shallow criticism that fails to get its point across, and at worst it's actively demeaning to women who desire to or show masculine traits. But first, let me break this down into sections.
Section 1: Muscles =/= Masculinity (In my opinion at least)
Oh boy, I feel like this is a section that might rustle some feathers, but I'm going to try and explain myself best as possible. I simply do not view muscularity as a feature that is inherent to or should be inherent to men. I'm not going to pretend as if muscular men aren't more saturated in media and art, nor as if they're societally treated as masculine, but one of the reasons I fail to understand this criticism is that I see muscles beyond the horizons as being just a masculine trait. 
I believe that muscles should instead be seen as a sign of hard work and determination. As someone who's currently trying (and struggling) to stay healthy and fit, it's much harder than a lot of media portrays it to be. It's a test where you push yourself to the limits, not just for the sake of doing it, but so you can improve as a person. Whenever I go to the gym and see a muscular gal or guy walk by, my immediate thought isn't, "how masculine" or anything like that my thought is, "wow! They worked hard to get like that, I should work hard as well!". 
This interpretation tends to feel like it's just simply taking a piss on people who actively work hard to achieve higher levels of strength. Especially when society places and enforces these unrealistic standards onto people. If you don't have a six-quintillion pack nor can bench press a fucking house then you're worthless, of course, that is unless you actually attempt to pursue said standards which in that case you're automatically dismissed as cheating your way to gaining your muscles instead of putting any work in. And that's just for men who often don't have to deal with traditional idiots who are stuck in the year 1950 where I can't walk on the same street as them. My skin crawls when reading tweets from older men talking about how weightlifting women are "ruining their fertility" and I absolutely hate it when people in my life treat these women as if they're mythical creatures from a fairy tale, or when females who have trained to such a degree are simply dismissed as being inferior. 
Obviously, I don't think the people who say this are like that, but whenever I hear this type of critique I can't help but think of the culmination of all these experiences I've gone through. But then again, this might honestly just be because I'm personally attracted to muscular women.
  Section 2: Body type diversity
  Another reason that I tend to like muscular women in media over muscular men is simply due to the sheer oversaturation of muscular men. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem if anybody likes muscular men. I totally get wanting to shove your face in between some man titties or get inspired by their physiques. In all honesty, almost everything I said earlier can directly apply to men, but one of the reasons I bring up body type diversity is that there tend to be much less muscular women than men. I
f anything, I'd have to say that muscular men are almost treated as the default when it comes to things like superhero comics, movies, video games, anime, etc. In a similar vein, the default for women tends to be slim and curvaceous, you get the drill. Whenever someone who doesn't fit into either body type shows up and isn't treated like a joke/gag or a character to rip on, I can't help but be happy about it. As much as I have no clue wtf is going on with TLOU2, I can appreciate that Abby's portrayal doesn't seem to exist solely as a joke meant to demean women for working out. I'm excited when an anime protagonist is a fat character who can go beyond just being a "fat guy" and is treated the same way a normal person would be.
 Regardless of what you think about whatever trait you're criticizing, there's probably someone out there who fits it. If you're not into it or dislike it, then that's fine, but I'd rather have that expressed than it being actively made out as a harmful trope as opposed to just literally another body type that some women have.
  Section 3: Muscular women inspire me more
Ok so, we've now blown into a full-on personal experience, buckle up boys, girls, NBs, anything in between, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone so apologies! But yeah, muscular women in media tend to be a lot more inspiring than people seem to give them credit for. This comes down to a mix of both the qualities I outlined earlier in what makes the characters inspiring but also plays into the idea of body diversity. 
One of the traits that make amazons seem more inspiring is their inherent rarity/lack of screentime. As I stated earlier, whilst I do enjoy my fair share of man-titties, it kind of gets to a point where it's more depressing than inspiring when all you see is just super-models shoved in your face whenever you walk into a theater. If for every Goku I could find ten other guys who were on the chubbier side then I'd be able to take more from when I see Goku and other characters with his body type, yet it's so saturated that it no longer becomes something to aspire to, but simply the norm.  It's not that you can work to become muscular or skinny with hard work and effort, you have to be muscular or skinny unless you want to be deemed a failure. Being chubby often isn't presented as a starting point but just treated as a defect. As someone who spent years battling with my own self-perception, that's just not a good message to get across.
Now, this obviously isn't to say that people can never make muscular characters. After all, it's their story so they can put whatever they want in it. The aim of the game isn't to stop people from making a specific type of character, but to encourage a diverse set of people to make a diverse set of characters. This is the reason why I view muscular women as so inspiring. Instead of coming across as just "the norm" or "the standard" they stand out from the crowd and despite knowing what they have to deal with, are still ready and willing to work out and improve their bodies. They had a goal in mind and set time aside to achieve said goal, that's something I can get behind.
  Conclusion:
This will be another short section, but I just wanted to mention it because it caps off my thoughts on this post in general. What originally started as me just not getting the reason why people disliked Teela's design somehow turned into a passionate rant and I'm A) not sure if it fits on this particular subsection of the community, B) scared I'm going to get ripped to pieces, and C) somewhat unsatisfied with all that I said. At the end of the day, this probably won't be seen by too many people, but to those who do see it, I hope you have a wonderful day. I just wanted to talk about something that was near and dear to my heart and hoped that I made it clear why I view things the way I do. 
P.S: Can we stop having this double standard where we act like women whose arms show the slightest hint of definition are "unrealistic" whilst men can look like tree trunks and be considered normal and healthy? please and thank you!
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