#why do i feel so BROKE in hawaii

[omegasweetener]

my bank account in japan after buying a fuck ton of gear and hiding 50,000 staminan x’s up kiryu’s ass :

my bank account in america after purchasing one roast beef sandwich :

[moonlinos]

Hi love 💖

Which romance trope do you associate each skz member with?

For eg: enemies to lovers, forbidden, friends to lovers, boy next door etc

Tbh, from your perspective what relates to them....

Bye, keep writing more 🥰🤗☺️

Ahh I loved writing this, thank you for asking. I got a bit carried away, but it’s not proofread since it’s a drabble so I tried to be less annoying with myself 🙃 Basically a trope for each member + a small blurb 🩷

Chan - Second chance love Maybe it’s because I just wrote about this, but it fits Chan well.

He was your college sweetheart, the one boyfriend you could never truly forget. After he moves to a different country due to a job offer, you’re left to reminisce about the amazing relationship you foolishly let slip through your fingers. You unknowingly compare every boyfriend you have to him, and they all fall short. No guy is as caring as Chan — he missed out on his own birthday party to console you after failing a test. No guy is as romantic as Chan — he was too broke for flowers during your relationship, so he made you paper roses every day until you broke up. No guy would ever live up to what Chan meant to you. Although you want nothing more than to look for him, your falling out wasn’t quite amicable. When you meet again, it’s by pure coincidence. He’s been transferred back to Seoul, where his company is located across the street from the building where you work. You’re completely different from who you were when you were together. Somehow, that’s exactly what you needed, and you find yourselves wanting to give your old romance a second try.

Minho - Friends to lovers This is so strange to me because this is actually my least favorite trope, and this man is my bias.

Minho is the one person at your job who you can stand to be around. You always joked about how his hidden talent is making you laugh even while you’re crying. Having worked together for three years now, you two have your little routine: going out to eat cheap street food after work and getting drunk at your favorite bar on weekends. He’s nothing but a friend to you, but he’s secretly pining after you, just waiting for that right moment to confess his feelings. But that moment never comes — you’re always too focused on work, or whining about yet another failed blind date. It takes one drunken night, when he’s carrying you from your car up to your apartment, for just how sweet, caring, and handsome Minho truly is to dawn on you. From there, you begin to subtly show him your feelings — which would totally make him flustered and maybe even a little annoyed that you could do it so effortlessly while he just waited around like an idiot. When you’re asked why you had a change of heart after being his friend for so long, you simply answer that you had no choice but to fall for him. He’s your best friend and the love of your life all wrapped up into one, how could you not want him?

Changbin - Holiday romance He just screams hot, funny dude you meet on a holiday.

You’re a bit down as you walk into the luau; the beautiful beach does little to distract you from the ugly jealousy inside your chest. Your friends are finding their perfect partners one by one, getting married, and leaving you to be the single friend. Your last friend from your little group is set to get married in two days, her wealthy fiance flying all the guests out to Hawaii for a dream beach wedding. You’re happy for her, but being her bridesmaid was almost like rubbing salt in your wound. Changbin’s loud voice is the first thing you hear after sitting down at the bar. You two get to talking, and his contagious laughter and constant jokes have you enthralled the entire night, and the way the sleeves of his shirt strained against his biceps certainly helped. You end up hooking up that night, leaving you hopeful you won’t be so lonely during yet another wedding. Except he simply disappears when morning comes, a small note explaining he had to catch his flight left on the pillow beside you. He didn’t know if adding his number would be too much — maybe you were just looking to de-stress and have a good time at your friend’s bachelorette party. So he doesn’t, simply signing his name and telling you he had an amazing time with you.

Hyunjin - Forbidden love In so many different ways. A crown prince set to be king, your bodyguard who really shouldn’t have fallen for you because it puts his life at risk, your best friend who’s already in a relationship. A love you know is unattainable, but you pursue it anyway.

The crown prince has a soft spot for you, even though you’re only a village girl who runs your family’s bakery. Despite his guards surrounding him and his cold appearance, he treats you as an equal whenever he visits your shop — which happens frequently, seeing as his mother cannot live without your strawberry pound cake, a recipe that’s been passed down to you by your late father. Hyunjin’s love starts shyly, without him noticing. His father often berates him for being too soft on the help, too kind to people below him — he simply assumes it’s his seemingly too-kind nature that makes him want to befriend you. He begins escaping from the palace under the pretense of fetching his mother’s favorite treat himself, until he finds himself escaping simply to see you. You spend your days teaching him how to bake various treats while he revels in feeling so normal for the first time in his life. Hidden inside your little bakery, he’s not expected to be gracious and courteous, or to be ruthless and calculating. He can simply be himself around you. Only problem is his parents announce he will be marrying a princess from a neighboring kingdom in less than six months.

Jisung - Fake relationship Jisung screams early 2000s romcom for me, you can’t change my mind. The real chaotic ones like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, and of course, The Proposal.

You were certainly not his first option, given his love for tormenting you and your history of bickering at office get-togethers. But Jisung is left with no choice as Christmas is quickly approaching, and his entire family expects to meet his fiance when he visits. In all fairness, he did have one, but she broke off the engagement with no real explanation, leaving him heartbroken and in a huge predicament. He could either come clean to his family and endure two weeks of nagging or find someone to act as his fiance. Unfortunately for him, you’re the only single woman in his department he knows would accept this crazy deal — that’s enough ammo for a year of teasing, and you can’t pass up on that.

Felix - Sunshine/grumpy I know this is the most obvious choice but hear me out, it’s for good reason.

Felix moves back to Australia to get away from the corporate world he’s been sucked into, missing his carefree days at the beach when he was a kid. You move in next door after a year and a half of enduring a terrible writer’s block that threatens your career as a writer. You have no time for futile things, seeing as your livelihood depends on you sitting down and finishing your book before summer ends. Except your neighbor is unrelenting, determined to help you find your lost passion through his carefully curated list of days at his favorite childhood fair and late-night ocean trips to teach you how to swim. It’s irritating at first, and you want nothing more than to get through his silly list as fast as possible lest you drown him during one of your swimming lessons. Only Felix’s outlook on life slowly wins you over, and you find yourself with more than just your forgotten love for writing filling your heart.

Seungmin - Enemies to lovers He also screams romantic comedy. His handsome face hiding his chaotic need to pester everyone he loves makes this the obvious choice to me.

As a lawyer just starting her career, you expect to be faced with the usual issues: overworking, your boss being an asshole, and dealing with cases that make you question your own morals. A co-worker who makes every second of your day unbearable was not on your bingo card. Seungmin is assigned to the same team as you, working under the supervision of the firm’s most prestigious lawyers. His need to be the best drives you up the wall, his competitiveness possibly being the worst trait you’ve seen on a man, only rivaled by his cockiness. If that wasn’t enough, he’s seemingly determined to make your life a living hell, constantly engaging in petty fights and teasing you every chance he gets. When a particular case proves too much for you to handle — hitting too close to home — Seungmin trades his unwelcome jokes for words of encouragement, keeping you company after work hours simply to help you. You see him take a step back from his beloved spotlight for the first time just to watch you shine. You find it odd, to say the least, but you can’t bring yourself to question it in your situation. Little do you know he’s been falling for you since he was first introduced to the team, and his need to rile you up is simply a desperate attempt to make you pay attention to him.

Jeongin - Boy next door I read this one in your message and I just knew it was Jeongin.

He moves next door after a heartbreak, which makes him want nothing more than to run away from the bustling city of Seoul and its cold residents. Jeongin intrigues you from the first day — having lived in that small town your whole life had you desperate for excitement, for what adventures the city could provide you. You have a happy, albeit quite monotonous life. Running the only bookshop in town provides countless stories from your nosy neighbors’ chaotic lives that keep you entertained throughout your days. Still, you’ve grown tired of only hearing about these experiences. Jeongin begins frequenting your bookshop, walking you home, and coming inside for a piece of cake every day. During your talks, you always complain about your dull life in the town, while he swears you wouldn’t trade the tranquility of your little life if you knew how ruthless and lonely the city can be. You fall first, his bright smile and gentle nature capturing your lonely heart. But he falls harder, vowing to help you find the excitement you yearn for in life, even if it means losing you to the city he hates so much.

♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist, @jazziwritesthings, @seungseung-minmin, @yourcvndx, @hynjinnnnnnnie, @vlctorriaa, @yongbokkiesworld, @kiensecent, @redstayrosie

[justjams2003]

Time heals all wounds

Okay guys so...my PC broke🫨 it's um, done for. 2008 model so...yeah no there's not saving it... So if the formatting of this is weird, that would be the reason, I'm doing this on my phone.

Pairing: 70s!Elvis Presley x fem!reader

Summary: Elvis accidentally runs into a time traveler and doesn't even know it. All he knows is that she somehow just knows everything about him. Especially how badly he needs a good cuddle

Warnings: Topless reader, topless Elvis. Fluff. Angst (Elvis cries)(his ouchie body🙁) Mommy kink?? Idk this one might be a little weird guys... But he's so bbg really. Submissive Elvis. Coddling Elvis. Mentions if skin-to-skin contact. Mentions of Gladys Presley and how much Elvis missed her :(.

Word count: 2k+ unedited

Dividers by: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Just another groupie, he would have thought if it wasn’t for the way that he looked at her. Like she sees right through him. As if she knows everything about him. Past, present and future. Across the room, where the people mingle after his show. The VIP’s so excited to have the honour and the money to meet him. All too scared to touch him, for he is the king and they are but onlookers.

Long meaningful strides to the face that calls to him in the crowd. Eyes so warm and so clear of mind. Set on him and him alone. No other thought behind those eyes except the ones reflecting his own blue eyes. The light hits her and makes the frizz of her hair look like a halo and not an imperfection. Is her breathing matching his? He could swear he saw her chest rise and fall in rhythm as he takes a sharp inhale.

His hands fall on her upper arms, just below her shoulder. Wrapping all the way around and holding her like a Christmas present. Careful not to tear at the wrapping, wanting to appreciate the effort that has gone into the sharp folds of the corners and delicate little bow on top. Bound together by tape. Christmas lights, red, then green, then red again shining down on the present, begging to be opened.

“Hi.”

His tone of voice like one he’s known all his life. Like he would greet an old friend, one which you share such a bond with that even after years it’s still the same. The ruffles of her shirt conceal the soft skin that he so desperately wants to feel under his palms. His thumbs moves the finespun sleeve up, Elvis has to hold back a groan when he feels just how silky her pale skin is.

“Hi.”

She replies in the same manner as his. The lights reflect in the wet of her eyes, making it look like diamonds under sunlight. Long lashes blink, to truly take him in. His tan skin, from his Hawaii vacation she knows, his straight nose and soft pillow lips. Just how warm his hands are around her arms. Just how many hours she spent dreaming about this.

“Do I know you?”

A moment where they both seem to take in this bizarre moment. Anon, as if it was meant to be, they both just sort of break out in giggles. His wide smile that she’s seen so many pictures of. And a real laugh that the home tapes haven’t captured exactly. Simply because they can’t copy the echo. Or the way his eyes scrunch up and he leans forward against her. Or this crazy farm feeling that usually gets covered with shame.

But there is no shame now. Because this is real. Can you believe it? He’s actually here, in front of you. Holding you even. For him, it feels even crazier. Who are you? What is happening? Why do you seem to look right into his soul? You two must know each other. She looks so familiar, like those people you meet in your dreams and then suddenly see them walking past you on the street.

“No.” She says in between laughs and again he struggles to believe that. “Come on. I must’ve met you somewhere. Even just, on the road or- I don’t know in a bathroom line.” The girl just shakes her head again. “Do you even use public toilets?” He quickly eats his words. “No, I guess not really.” She can’t help but smile at the foolishness of this all. Of the craziness of this, really.

He slings his arm over her shoulder, like the photos, tucking her into his side. She can hear her heart beating louder than ever before. She’s scared she might even pass out from excitement. He’s so close, she can smell the Brut perfum against his neck, just like Priscilla said. She’s living every girl’s dream right now. Every crazy fangirl’s dream.

“Well then, I think we ought tah get tah know each other then, huh? Honey?” She practiced her soft smile in the mirror and she can only hope that it’s being reflected right now. She just barely moves her head in a nod. “I think so too.” Her eyes drink in every single behind road he takes, in hopes she can follow the path when this is all over.

He shrugs off his jacket, hanging it against the nearest chair’s back. “Darlin’... I jus’ can’t seem to place yer accent. Where did you say you’re from?” She has to make an active effort not to bite her lip, she doesn’t want to be that girl. She shakes her head. “I didn’t.” That crooked smile overcomes him. “Oh, right. Well, please do tell me.”

Crap. Now she has to think incredibly quickly. Her geography isn’t exactly the best and she’s never really cared to put in much interest in the timeline of America. “Up North.” His brows raise, “No spot spicific?” She’s quick to shake her head. “No...we travelled a lot.” His eyes go sympathetic, “Ah get that. Ah haven’t stopped traveling since this whole lot started.” She gets this look in her eyes, like she knows.

No one has ever before reached the level of fame he has. How could she know? How could she so convincingly act like she knows? But it feels so real, so much so that his heart and body feel all warm inside. “Yeah?” She replies, a one common word and yet it feels like it’s the perfect response. Not forcing him to go on, but rather inviting him to. Still, though, not at the same time. Leaving it open for him to decide if he says more or doesn’t.

“Yah mind if I go change into something more comfortable?” She’s quick to shake her head no. “Not at all.” It’s only warm smiles from him and to her and then back again. He seems reluctant to be away from her for even a bit. But when he does eventually pry his eyes from her, he speaks again. “Make yerself comfortable, little one.”

You have to stop yourself from gasping. The nickname reserved for Priscilla. And something you’ve done has made him deem you worthy for it. No one else has taken any notice of you. All brushing you off, that is what you wanted, you will admit. But you bought the VIP ticket with the intention of only catching a glimpse of him. Maybe even if you were somehow possibly lucky enough, a peck. Like he gives the front row girls.

Now, you’re in the famous International Hotel’s very own Elvis Presley’s residence and you’re damn sure you’re going to explode with joy. Or maybe even cry. Or hell, both! You know you shouldn’t snoop, having earned his trust, somehow. But you need to see this all, while you still have the chance. The universe could play some cruel joke and take this away from you any minute now.

Trinkets, of a price you can only imagine, scattered all over the place. A real, now not vintage, plate player. You gasp, quickly searching through the stack for your favourite song. You’re not really entirely sure how it works, you never could afford one of your own. Your fingers stumble, trying to get the needle to pick up the song.

Not that you have to put it on, large hands take the needle from you. Practiced, this is all he’s known, first try gets the needle to take. His voice plays from the record, his brow raises. “Yah like this one, darlin’?” The girl smiles, “I do, it’s my favourite.” He chuckles, “I jus’ sang this on stage, yah wanna listen tah it again?” Her lashes flutter like she can’t believe he’d ask such a question.

“I could listen to you reading the bible and still wouldn’t get bored.” You choose each word so specifically. And you knew he’d grin at that. “Is that so?” The girl smiles, her head tilts to the side. Again she seems to look deep into his soul. Into his true desires for gospel and the Word. Her brows furrow, her eyes get filled with this sort of hurt. She seems to be searching his face, inspecting every bit. He feels insecure, does she notice the way his cheeks are rounder? Or just how much she makes him sweat?

“Sit down, sweetheart.” Her voice takes this nurturing tone that he yearns for since his mama... When she takes his wrist and guides him over to the couch, he doesn’t protest. It’s the way she does it with so much love in each action. Even holding her hand out for him as he sits down, take the pressure off his soar knees.

She bends over, he can’t help but take a peak under her shirt. But his intentions seem so wrong when she places a tender kiss on his forehead. “You’re done performing. It’s just you and me now. I won’t judge, I wouldn’t dare even think of it. You can relax.” She mumbles, then presses another kiss against his forehead.

The girl, who’s name he has yet to ask, takes this huge pressure off his shoulders. He even lets out a sigh and sinks further into the plush cushions. His head leans back against the back of the sofa. He looks up at the pattern of the popcorn ceiling. A relaxed sigh comes from deep in his soul. Then, the lights turn off with a click.

It’s likes she just knows him. The stress just sort of falls away. “We’re caught in a trap...I can’t walk out...” she hums the lyrics of the song, she cups his cheek. She slightly tilts his head up to look up in the eyes. “Because I love you too much baby~” His breathing hitches at the sincerity of her words. His lip quivers and she frowns, her thumbs grazing over his cheeks to wipe away the tears pouring down.

She sits down next to him, he’s quick to hide his face in the crook of her neck, in shame that he’s crying. “That’s okay, Elvis. It’s okay, baby.” She coos, rubbing circles against his back. His large hands grab at her shirt. The material feels so rough and in all reality he wants to feel her bare skin. She coos again, cradling his head in her arms.

“C’mere, baby. C’mere my Satnin.” His head snaps up, his brows pull together. Now you’re panicking. Too far? Did you give yourself away? His large hands wrap completely around your waist. He cuddles his head in the valley of your breast. Holding you like one would a teddy bear. Especially when it’s thundering outside and it’s all you have to keep you safe.

And then...he just sobs.

Your one hand holds his shirt, so tightly your knuckles turn white. The other rakes your nails against his scalp. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear. “You’re safe, baby. Nobody’s gonna hurt you, sweetheart. Cry all you need, booby.” And when she uses that nickname he just cries even harder. How? How does she know? All the sweet names his mama used to call him.

And how does she hold him, like he’s been craving to be held. Grasping onto him, with all her might. As if he might run away any moment. Taking all that he gives to her with gratefulness. God, he missed when people used to be grateful. When people used to ask for him and not just expect all of him all the time. When people were happy with whatever he gave and not expecting for him to die for their entertainment.

“You don’t need all those pills, baby. You don’t any of it. You’re just a darling boy who needs to be held. Ain’t that right, honey?” She coos as he rubs his tears off on her blouse. She doesn’t care. His hands slide under the shirt, gently tugging it off. He places wet open mouth sloppy kisses against her collarbone.

When he’s satisfied with her taste, he rubs his cheek against her neck. Down, down until he rests once again between your breasts. The soft feeling of your skin and the steady beat of your heart rhythm pulls him closer to sleep. He looked about settled, until he huffs, sitting up right again. She’s about to ask what’s wrong, before he shrugs off his silk pajama shirt.

She chuckles when he wraps himself like a vine around her again. “It’s okay, baby. I know you’re tired, sweetheart. So, so tired, hmm? Putting on such a good show, your mama would be so proud. I’m sure of it.” Again, you chose your words so carefully. Between exposing your position and cradling Elvis to sleep.

You cradle his head in your arms. Gently feathering your nails across his bare back. The other tucked under his hair, holding his face so close to her. Like they’re glued together in this skin-to-skin contact. “Sleep my darling Elvis. Your mama and Jesse is watching down. Looking over you. Protecting you. They’re so proud of you, Satnin. You can sleep easy now, it’ll all be okay.”

And you stayed in his arms, even as your arms and legs fell asleep and your back groaned from his weight. You didn’t dare move an inch. Besides the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you tried to keep your breathing steady.

All to keep him sleeping. He needs it so...he needs his rest...

So, here is the sitch. I usually really hate like time travel fics. Because they feel so poorly done and like such an easy cop out to me. But with the 16th recently I just couldn't stop thinking about he just needed to be held:( And then I discovered Elvis ASMR and that like made this thought even worse.

I thought about making a part 2 where it like shows the readers POV of like accidently time traveling and finding him but then I realised like, what's the point?? That doesn't add anything to this narrative. And like the whole chapter would just be the reader scheming to see him?? And like how they feel?? And like, what's the point, you guys already know how you feel??

But, this Elvis ASMR has like a whole bunch of scenarios and I thought about like writing something like this to futher the scenario. All of them usually end up in Elvis sleeping though, so maybe I'd just be more of the same thing? But I think it'd be nice to have something to read while you listen to it?? And I could call it the Sleepy Elvis series...

Um yeah, tell me what y'all think 🥰

[bengiyo]

Last Twilight Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, we learned that Day’s surgery was unsuccessful. We time skipped over his mom figuring out things to see that Mhok is having anxieties about Day and conflating them with Rung. Mhok has become overprotective even as Day has begun using his cane and exercising more independence. Mhok lied about a job opportunity in Hawaii and upset Day. Day reacted in the most extreme and broke up with Mhok.

So…we’re just skipping over the aftermath of that fight? They really just broke up and now it’s years later and Day is graduating? That whole journey ended on one lie? Be serious.

Did they really try to fake me out like Mhok might be the groom for Porjai? Be serious now.

Man, they really want this escalator scene to give It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, but I just don’t think you can earn that in a time skip this abrupt.

Suddenly Aof cameo.

Mixed feelings about Mhok assisting Day like this. At least he revealed himself at the end? It’s giving Revenge of the Nerds (1984) or The Goonies (1985).

Day has had Mhok blocked for three years???

Are we really just gonna start flirting after three years like this? Come on, now. What has changed??

All the meddling is cute, but I’m still at the three years no contact.

Unbelievable. Mhok says he did a bunch of emotional work and then thanked Day for breaking up with him, only for Day to say, ‘I’m glad we can discuss this as adults,’ without saying anything else. “This is real damn ridiculous. This is belemptious.”

Mom, why aren’t saying any of this to Day???

I do appreciate that Day and Night worked out their issues, but everything with the supporting cast feels like it’s all happening between scenes. Like why is the dad here? Are he and the mom going to reconcile? Do we care about this in any way specific to these characters?

Aof seems to like when one of his leads is holding back really hard for some reason, but Day is just not a good execution of that at all. I am not on his side the way I was with Phupha, Jim, or Pran.

If Mhok gives up the work and life he’s built for himself for three years to be with Day, I’m going to be just as annoyed as I was at the end of Enchante with Akk having to work his way to Paris to be with Theo.

So…Day has done no emotional work on his issues with Mhok in three years? I don’t even think Mhok’s issue was about even pitying Day. What the fuck is this?

That car is about to get towed!

I just know Namtam had a good time running around in an airport wearing a wedding dress.

We’re doing this whole reunion scene, so has Mhok just…processed his grief about Rung? We’re just gonna get back together now? Mhok is still talking about his mistake? We’re just gonna take over the aftermath of Night and Porjai’s wedding?

Eye donation? Oh…..this is about to take a turn.

I don’t like timing this to right after the unearned romantic reconciliation. This is a bad look. I had seen some posts earlier, and this is as bad as described.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with Day getting his vision back, but putting it in the finale like this and rushing over the other conflicts makes it feel like a reward. It also has them quickly advancing past any other developments in Day’s life as he potentially reapproaches things he had before.

I’m feeling conflicted about them returning to the mountaintop, because there was so much acceptance in that first scene. I don’t know that there’s good mirroring here of any sort for this.

Final Verdict: 5, This Was a Huge Miss. I’m not sorry for this low rating on an Aof show. I cannot in good faith give this a 6 as decent but boring. The imbalanced writing between the romantic leads left me extremely dissatisfied for most of the back half show, and quickly showing your blind character adapting and even thriving in his circumstances just to have him monologue about being normal again at the end was so not the moment. @lurkingshan has already covered what this show messed up as a good starting point, and I want to state plainly that I will no longer be grading Thai BL on the curve of what the show is trying to be. It’s been ten years of Thai BL, and decades of BL and yaoi before it. These shows will be graded for what they are.

Jojo and Aof had big misses in the last year. Tee dropped the ball multiple times. Golf had a weird outing. New Siwaj failed me completely. We cannot worship these creators. They are just trying to make cool stories and help sell the juice. Sometimes they make really cool pieces that we love forever. Sometimes they flop. Aof tried something here and it didn’t reach the heights we expected of him. Directors are not gods. It’s fine for them to flop. There’s enough BL airing that a few shows being letdowns doesn’t leave us with nothing else to watch for weeks.

Still, I will say that I liked the chemistry between Jimmy and Sea, and I thought Mark and Namtam made a decent pair. When this show was good, I liked the moments.

[swissboyhisch]

New York Luck

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Reader

Summary: After a lovely holiday, your partner breaks up with you and so you turn to your only friend in the city.

Word Count: 1055

A/N: I'm not super happy with this. I feel like it's rushed but I want to put it out anyway.

<< PREVIOUS

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Why is it that every time you come to New York, something bad happens. The last time you had gotten your shitty diagnosis. This time your current boyfriend and yourself had decided to go on a holiday to Hawaii for a week and of course, an hour after landing back in New York he decided to break your heart.

Something about not being ready for a relationship. Apparently. And here you were ready to tell him I love you on your holiday but held back because he was a little distant at night. That’s why you’re now standing in a Walmart; wearing a pair of sunglasses trying to find food.

Sadly you can’t even go home. In three days you have to have another surgery. A different one to the last time you were in New York. Now you’re stuck in the city, alone and crying your eyes out. Dealing with health issues and a break up. What a great combo. And to make things worse, you can’t even drink away your emotions!

Aisle by aisle, you grab chocolate, some cupcakes, cheese and crackers, a bit of everything. Oh and a bottle of coke, can’t forget it. That’s when you heard a familiar voice calling your name. You turned to where the voice came from. 

“Mat?”

One of the few people you knew in the city. Mat wasn’t a stranger to you. Quite the opposite actually. The pair of you grew up together then reconnected later on once he had been drafted. After a couple hook ups since the reunion, you two were close when you did meet up.

“Are you okay?” Mat questions, spying your reddened cheeks just under your glasses. 

“I uh… Yeah,” You tried to brush it off. Discreetly wiping the stray tears that dripped down your cheeks. “Just some personal stuff.”

The hockey player wasn’t buying it. He had known you long enough to see through your lies. Even if they were really bad like the one you just told. “Okay, what’s up? I know that’s a lie. You were literally just in Hawaii.”

“Stalking my insta?” You joke weakly.

“Gotta see what my favourite girl is up to.”

That made your heart hurt more. Here Mat was calling you that where as your ex could barely call you his girlfriend in front of his friends. God, you thought your relationship was great. Fuck. How could you be so blind. 

“Yeah we got back this morning and then he broke up with me an hour after we landed.”

Mat immediately brought you in for a hug. “Shit. He’s an asshole for that.”

“Doesn’t help I have surgery friday,” You add, sniffling.

“Another one?” Mat sighs. “He’s a coward for breaking up with you before that. It’s a dick move.”

You shrug off the comment. “I’d rather him do it now then drag it out. Now I can just focus on myself. Gonna get snacks and have a night in my hotel. Maybe get ice cream from the place next door.”

“Can I join?” Mat asked. 

“Are you sure?”

Matt agreed and the two of you finished grabbing snacks for the night and finished Mat’s shopping. He brought groceries for his apartment so the two created a plan. First, drop off Mat’s groceries to his apartment. Then head to your hotel to have a chill night. 

You two arrived back at your hotel, which was quite a fancy one since you and your partner had planned to stay there together. First, before retreating to your bedroom, you stopped by the ice cream place and got way too much. Enough that Mat’s nutritionist would cry at the thought of the hockey player consuming all that sugar. 

“This is nice.” The two of you walked into the nice hotel room. A modern style hotel room on the 9th floor. A king sized bed in the middle with the bathroom off to the left as you walked in. There was even a window with a blind in the shower. “Have you stayed here before?”

“Yeah, my ex worked nearby so I’d stay when I’d come to visit him,” You respond.

Mat grabbed the bag of snacks and put that on the counter, wrapped you in a hug and dragged you onto the bed. The smell of his cologne filled your senses. Despite your old hook up ways with Mat, the familiar scent still gave you butterflies.

“I wanna have a shower and get into my pyjamas,” You sighed, pulling away from Mat. You grabbed some clothes and went to go to the bathroom when a sulking sound came from the boy laying on your bed. When you looked at him, he was pulling the puppy's eyes. “What? Do you wanna join?”

“Please?” You giggled and agreed, leaving him to join you when he wished. “Thank youuuu!”

The bathroom was really modern. A large mirror in front of the sink and a huge shower with a rainfall head. Your favourite type of shower. After turning on the water to your preferred temperature, you stripped and got into the shower. The water felt calming as you stood under the stream. 

“Heya,” Mat mutters as he slips into the shower. 

You leaned into the hockey player as he wrapped his arms around you. This wasn’t the first time you had showered with him. But let’s just say usually, a simple shower wasn’t just that. 

“Are you okay?” Mat asks as you’re unusually quiet around him. That question just makes you break. A flood of emotions coming through. Mat was quick to pull you closer, tight against his naked body as you started to sob. “He’s an idiot.”

“What’s wrong with me?” You cried.

“Nothing. I promise you it’s him. He’s the worst person for doing this to you. He’s the problem.”

Once you had calmed down and the two of you had finished washing, you changed into your pyjamas and cuddled up on bed with a ton of snacks surrounding the pair of you. Mat had signed into his Disney. You allowed him to pick what the two of you would watch for the night. When you saw the intro it solidified the hidden feeling for him. It was your favourite show.

“Thanks for this,” You mutter to Mat.

The brunette kissed the top of your head. “Always.”

TAG LIST

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings

[justmystyles]

Could you write something about Harry and sn just talking? they could be talking about some celebrity gossip or someone in their circle of friends

Cantaloupe

read my other work here!

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

*i say it's a plus size reader, but it is not something that i focus on explicitly in my fics, because your size should not define you. it will only come up if it comes into the story organically.*

word count: 841

summary: in this one shot/flash forward from the Now You're In My Life storyline, you and Harry recap the big news from your family's Thanksgiving dinner.

a/n: i have a million other asks and things i should be doing first, but the perfect idea came to me when i read it, and the story just flowed from there.

i also feel like i need to explain the title a little. first of all, i suck at/hate naming fics, second of all it's a Harry fic, why not give it a random fruit name? finally, there's this really terrible dad joke that has been running through my family for my entire life (even still to this day). if cantaloupe is motioned, or seen, it's a rush to see who can be the first one to say "can't elope tonight, dad's got the car!" anyway, that joke, and the fruit of it all it just felt right.

tags: @abby8694 @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

You and Harry walked to the car without saying a word, he opened the passenger door for you before moving to sit in the driver’s seat. 

“Wow,” Harry finally broke the silence as he was backing out of your parent’s driveway. 

“You’re goddamned right wow.” You replied, still trying to wrap your head around it. 

“I thought bomb drops like that only happened on television.” 

You had just left Thanksgiving dinner with your family, where your sister announced that on her recent vacation with her fiancé, the pair had eloped, before jetting off to their Hawaiian honeymoon. 

“I thought they were joking,” you said. “Then they brought out the photo album.”

“I know, I’ve never seen you make a face like that,” he chuckled. “It was actually pretty adorable.” 

You slapped him lightly on the thigh. “I just… I never in a million years expected that.” 

“You really had no idea?” He glanced over at you before returning his eyes to the road. 

“How could I? They announced their engagement, and were feeding us all this bull shit about wedding planning.” 

“Well,” he interjected. “Technically they did plan a wedding…”

“Shh, nobody needs your semantics.” You joke before looking over at him curiously. “Why? Did you have an idea?” 

He shrugged. “I mean, the trip did seem a little suspicious. They usually only pick one place when they travel.” 

“Yeah, but you have to go through California to get to Hawaii, so I just figured they were killing two birds with one stone.” 

“That’s because you’re so sweet and naive, princess.” 

“Heyyy,” you whined.

“What? It’s one of the things I love most about you.” He reaches over, interlacing his fingers with yours. “I just had a suspicion.” 

Your eyes go wide. “Harry Edward Styles,” you gasp. “You thought my sister was eloping and you didn’t tell me?” 

“No,” he corrected. “I had a suspicion. It’s different. “Do you think your mother will ever forgive them?” He asked, changing the subject. 

You let out a deep breath as you consider his question. “I… I mean sure. But she won’t get over this, talking about it will always be a touchy subject.” You look over to Harry, who spares a quick glance as he’s driving. “I’ve never seen her look so devastated. She’s been talking about my sister and I getting married for as long as I can remember.” You let out a chuckle. “My dad on the other hand…”

“Yeah, he seemed to take it well.” 

“He’s just relieved that she’s not going to hit him up to help pay for a wedding.” You both laugh. 

“What about you?” Harry asks. “What do you think about it?”

You shrug. “I mean, I get why they did it. She’s not out to everyone yet, so it makes sense to want to just have it be for themselves.” You sigh before continuing. “But selfishly, I’m kind of bummed. That was my only chance to be in a wedding party.” 

Harry looks at you curiously. “What do you mean?”

“She’s my sister, we always said we’d be each other’s maids of honor. I don’t have any close enough friends to be asked to be a bridesmaid or anything, so I just don’t get that experience.” 

“You know that’s not true, right?” Harry says, squeezing your hand to comfort you. 

“I love you for trying to make me feel better, but it is true.” 

He shakes his head. “No it’s not. You’re going to be the most important part of my wedding party.” He smiles softly before lifting your joined hands and placing a soft kiss on the diamond ring that he had placed on your finger a few months earlier. 

You’re silent for a moment, observing Harry and his dreamy smile as he keeps his eyes locked on the road, his hand softly stroking your thigh. “Puppy?” 

“Hmm?” He hummed in reply, squeezing your leg gently, as he pulled up to a redlight.  

“Do you wish we were eloping?” 

He looks over to you with a sly smirk. “Princess, the sooner I get to make you my wife the better,” He lifts his hand, cupping your cheek. “But I wouldn’t be doing my job as your future husband if I didn’t give you everything you’ve ever wanted. And that includes the dream wedding you’ve been planning since you were a little girl.” 

Even in the dark car, Harry is able to make out the blush that spreads across your cheeks at his words, making him chuckle. “See, now when you talk like that, how could I not want to stand up in front of every single person I know and declare my love for you.” 

“I know, that’s why I said it,” he teased. “I don’t want you getting any silly ideas about eloping. We already have some very lovely, very non-refundable plans.” 

You let out a bark of laughter at his words and slap his shoulder. “Way to kill the mood.”

“No worries my love, I’ll revive it the second we get home.” 

[merakiui]

Y'know between Ruggie being too broke for a kid, and Riddle having mommy issues, I feel like Azul has probably dreamed of this scenario so much that you'll be there at his office, tears in your eyes, sticks in your hands, trembling, unsure and lost, and he'd go "I see...well (takes out stacks of paper) no worries! This is for college funds, this covers elementary school, middle school, high school, tuition fees, there's this stroller I've been eyeing and- Oh! I've heard this brand of baby formula is really good! I've already sent the email to take over the company aha (takes out more papers) can you sign here please? Mhm? GREAT! The wedding is tomorrow, our honeymoon is the day after (I hope you like Hawaii :)) ) and how do you feel about a lovely seaside house hm? I've already got three estates picked out that I think you'd adore!!"

Like I don't know man. I love him but I feel like he's the kind of guy to write your name with his last name in hearts on his paperwork by accident when he daydreams and kicks his feet like a schoolgirl going teeheehee when you smile his way. 🫶🫶🫶

Oh, he has most definitely thought about it so much. It's even worse if you knew him as a child because could you imagine if he started saving up for his future with you, fully intent on marrying you and having children!!! He spent a lot of time alone, and most of that was dedicated to academics and (when he's so head over tentacles in love with you) planning his and your futures. orz on one hand it isn't shocking to know Azul has everything perfectly arranged and organized for the baby, considering he's never unprepared for any situation, but it's still so unnerving to think these plans have been in the works for years. It's smart to start saving as early as possible, yes, but it's creepy that what he was saving for wasn't even something that might have happened. It's as if Azul knew this would happen, as if he combed through time to foresee this very moment, but then of course he would know because he'd do anything to ensure a major component of his plans comes to fruition.

He's just so sweet and caring, taking you in his arms and consoling you, rubbing his hand along your back, holding you in a firm embrace, whispering such gentle comforts. Oh, you poor, sad thing. Why are you so scared? He's not upset. He could never be! Nature happens; he understands (he sabotaged all forms of contraception, but you don't need to know that). Besides, there's no one else he'd rather start a family with than you. He'll support you, so please don't cry. There's no need to worry. He has everything under control (he always does).

You're signing so many documents in your anxious haste. Perhaps it's unfair to make you read these things when your eyes are clouded with tears and you're not in the right mindset to make logical decisions, but that's neither here nor there. Azul smiles at you throughout it all, quick to confiscate each contract you've signed before you can think twice. He can't wait to start this next chapter of life with you, and whether you want it or not you'll have to be ready, too. :)

[one-vivid-judgment]

I'm not sure if you have a character request limit but I couldn't help myself with the fluff! Could we get some headcanons on how the following characters would propose?: Yamai, Eiji, Ebina, Tomi, and Sawashiro? Thank you in advance! 💚

Oh brother, I'm sensitive af bc pre-period hormones do be hitting like that and the cuteness of it all actually made me tear up 😭😭

Yutaka Yamai

See, normally that wouldn’t be his thing. Either you propose or he’s most likely not gonna do it himself. Last time he tried to follow his heart and do something for someone he was in love with, he was framed for murder and had to flee to Hawaii, for fuck’s sake! If you proposed though, he would say yes 100%.

In the very odd case that he took the initiative and proposed though, it’s gonna take him so much mental preparation beforehand. It’s gonna be nothing fancy; no out in public, no expensive restaurants, no one but you and him. Probably at home, doing something so mundane as watching a movie while he hugs you from the back so it’s harder for you to make eye contact.

It’s one of the only times that you can think of that he’s had trouble getting the words out. His confession won’t be anything too fancy either; he’s gonna go straight to the point and tell you how it is. He loves you, he wants to be with no one else and wants you in his life forever, so... Would you marry him?

Eiji Mitamura

A fucking wreck of a guy. Cause first of all, in his head, after everything he’s done and after serving his time, there is no way you’d want to marry him, even if he is trying to change. Of all the people in the world, why would you pick the guy who was willing to hurt a child, manipulated and blackmailed a woman, faked a disability to garner sympathy and has endured public humiliation ever since? Sure, you saw something in him (though he doesn’t know what, exactly), but you wouldn’t be willing to go that far, would you?

You know he’s got something eating him up, but he brushes it off whenever you ask him. So, you just let him sort out his thoughts himself and come to you when he feels ready. It’s not easy though, because you know he’s beating himself up over something that probably is fucking ridiculous.

Well, no, it wasn’t fucking ridiculous after all: he wanted to fucking propose, but didn’t know how. It’s super simple, and could barely even qualify as a proper proposal; he didn’t buy a ring, he didn’t get down on one knee, he just totally broke down over dinner one night when you asked if he was okay and he told you everything. He loves you, he wants to be with you forever, but how realistic is that? With all the baggage he has, why would you want to be with him over someone more... less like him? Of course, he would love it if you said yes, but... you don't have to feel forced to accept, or anything! You’d probably have to kiss him to make him shut up and then say your piece.

Masataka Ebina

Pulls out all the stops to the point that you can see him coming a mile away. Not that he cares—only the best of the best for you, obvious as he may make it look. If you outright ask him if he has something planned for tonight though, he’ll just smile it off and say, “Why don’t you mind your own business for now, huh sweetheart?”

Kind of a stereotypical, picture-perfect proposal when you think about it. Fancy restaurant, people around to watch, the ring with the fattest diamond he could find at the jewelry shop. You bet there are also candles and expensive wine, and of course he is going to pay for the meal, so order to your heart’s content.

Probably prepared a whole fancy speech as well. Absolutely no shame to spout all that in public whatsoever either—he can tell you are going to say yes regardless of how he confesses, he’s kind of a cocky son of a bitch in that regard, but he wanted to make it extra special for you anyway. Besides, you gotta give these people a good show, right?

Eric Tomizawa

This guy proposed once, yeah. But seriously, do you think he has any idea whatsoever on how to do it a second time? It’s like his brain short-circuits and suddenly Tomi.exe has stopped working. You ask him how he proposed to Marie? Oh, he remembers it all down to the last detail. But he’s not about to do the same thing for you. He’s not so lame that he will reuse a whole proposal.

You can kinda tell he’s plotting something behind your back. He gets startled and denies it very vehemently when you ask if there is something wrong. So vehemently, in fact, that you can tell he’s lying. He is not a very convincing liar to begin with, but the way he scratches at the back of his neck and his laugh gets all high-pitched is pretty telltale.

All-out, public proposals are not his thing, so no fancy restaurants in his agenda. He will, however, take you out on a date first, then offer to go for some ice cream, then a walk down at Aloha Beach to finish off. Pretty sunset, nice weather, and then he’s down on one knee. Sure, the ring is nothing fancy, but it’s all he could afford with his taxi driver income, and it is pretty regardless. He’s all nervous and stumbles on his words a few times, but that just makes it a more 'Tomi' proposal.

Jo Sawashiro

You thought Yamai was closed off? Try this guy. First off, he thinks he’s too old to be getting married at this point. Then again, he really does love the feeling you bring to him—it’s an inner peace he’s never felt before, and why lie... it makes him feel good. But honestly, how do you propose at this stage of life? He never even proposed to Ikumi, they only lived together, so it’s not like he has previous experience to go off of.

It’s very likely that it won’t be a proposal per se. You’ll just be lying down in bed after making love one night, and when he thinks you are sleeping, he’ll kinda... blurt it out. A simple enough “God, I want to marry you”. He gets soft after making love (not just fucking, but when it’s deliberately softer, more gentle) like that, sentimental even.

As it turns out, you were not asleep. You kinda scare the shit out of him when your eyes pop open right after he says that. It’s late at night, but really, you’re gonna have to talk things through right now or else, he’ll just go back to his closed-off self in the morning and pretend it never happened out of embarrassment. You want to marry him too, no matter what he’s done or how old he thinks he is for it. He can buy you the cheapest ring at the shop, or no ring at all, and you would still want to marry him.

[insideliascrazyhead]

Oya High Headcanons 2

Fujio:

-has no secrets from his mom whatsoever Miki Hanaoka knows everything.

-when one doesn´t show up to Oya High he searches them and „stumbles into them“ to check on them

-cookie dough lover

-totally a roses kinda guy

-has a sneaky tattoo hidden somewhere

-unintentionally hilarious

-himbo energy in the sweetest way possible

-sucker for the worst sugary sweet romance movies

-future barkeeper in the making

-can´t handle horror movies

-would totally be a unintentional insta model

-so sweet as if sugar is a damn person and you wait for the red flag but there ain´t one red flag

-is totally a happy crier

-heavily encourages in them showing up at Oya High even on vaccation-drops into the other schools for visits whenever he feels like it after he force adopted them into his found family and behaves like he lives there and no one would kick him out anyways

-befriends every adorable animal out there and names them too

Tsukasa:

-petty revenge kinda guy

-ice cream enthusiast

-he and Yasushi  have some petty shit that happened in their childhood or early teens and that´s why they have that kinda relationship with each other

-they also lived nearest to each other and through thin walls,Tsukasa learned a lot about Yasushi that the other doesn´t want anyone to know with his shitty homelife so he treats Tsukasa the way he does to keep him at distance

-manga enthusiast

-wants to travel the world

-now deadly afraid of heights

-probably plays the piano

-is a great cook but to lazy to do so  

-will have a self discovering phase latest point in university  

-will one day punch Amagai straight to the face when he least expects it and call him a dickhead  

-fanfic reader

Yasushi:

-adrenaline junkie

-will get back up in each fight unless unconciouss.breaks his ribs?!Oi Tsukasa!How many ribs does a human have?!12!Great 11 more to go then.

-rather dies than speak about his emotional state which resambles a dumbster that´s on fire and someone stored fireworks in said dumbster

-he will get a shit ton of tattoos,piercings when he´s older

-Yasushi would be a tattoo artist,piercer or anything in body modification where he get´s paid to create pain in the future

-this man is the definition getting a hug and will exclaim what is that?!affection.Ew disgusting!Do it again.But Kiyoshi only and selected people only.

-crazily forgetfull,Kiyoshi at 2 am at some grocery store?forgotten.                        No ones able to reach him?His phone´s lying in the fridge or in a fruit bowel.UNDER the fruits.No idea how it got there.

-shoul´ve been a leash kit but wasn´t

-says he has no fear but actually just doesn´t stop and think if fear would be reasonable right now

-Hyuga would upon meeting yasushi try to adopt him.

-bites people for sure until it draws blood

-so heavily codependant on Kiyoshi that his biggest fear is Kiyoshi getting sick of him and leaving him

-when he´s angry he crashes a whole ass room

-will go to jail for a short time eventually

-i also believe his headinjury left some kinda damadge

-highest metabolism seen to mankind

-uses Playboy deodorant and parfum each and every day and randomly mixxes them

-hates kids

-wanted to be a rockstar once

Kiyoshi:

-wearing colorful hawaii shirts on a regualr base in whatever occasion because he literally own nothing else then those.

-probably uses Axe body spray not gonna lie

-mommy issues

-Yasushi is the number one test object for any future beautician shit he´s gotta learn

-he and Yasushi drunkenly made out once

-horrible dancer,broke someones nose during dancing once

-loves electro music where Yasushi complains that he would only hear the rythm in that shit when he pops a few colorful pills which also clashes badly with Yasushis love for death metal

-when Yasushi had his head injury,Kiyoshi woke him up religiously to check on him,and first Yasushi thought it´s hilarious then threatened to knock Kiyoshi out later on what still didn´t stop him.

-he and Yasushi behave domestic as fuck outside of Oya but in their own crazy way they´re gonna live together one day for sure

-once colored Yasushi´s hair accidentally neon green instead of blonde

-mega petty prank wars with Yasushi

-faints at the sight of needles

Todoroki:

-encourages heavily in revenge.always get your revenge kids.

-still collects photographs occasionally of his victims

-camping trips to fish with Odajima

-has a feral inner chaos gremlin he let´s out in form of instigating little petty fights around Oya

-petty as fuck and he forgives but never forgets -mint chochlate chip ice cream enthusiast

-hella protective of Shibaman and Tsuji not that he´s gonna tell anyone oh and now he threw Odajima into the mix too.

-speaks at least 3 languages

-kinda rich

Shibaman:

-Shibaman´s sister adopted Tsuji by now and Todoroki adopted her

-his sister?Just like Fujio´s mom knows everything about everyone and otherwise

-he rants to her when they cook together  

-absent parents

-his sister is crazily overprotective and he needed to stop her from „teaching that Amagai brat manners of respect in fighting“

-she also normally patches him and Tsuji up after fights

-he and Tsuji normally stay at Shibamans

-future nightclub owner Haitani style

-not nearly as grumpy as he seems,instead he gives kinda cinnamon roll vibes

Tsuji:

-festival and concert lover,where he obviously with goes with Shibaman

-their and the Yasu-kiyo faction are not allowed to accept dares cause no idea of personal safety and well being

-future DJ in Shibaman´s nightclub

-crazy chaotic

-the grumpy one out of the two of them instead

-they´re also hella protective over Todoroki and each other

Nakaoka:

-doesn´t like instects at all and screams if they land on him

-loves fast and tuned cars

-doodles everywhere

-loves comedy

-doesn´t like kids

-can´t handle spices whatsoever

Nakagoshi:

-pranksters

-likes to paint

-into books and poetry

-loves extra spicey food

-playboy and everyone wants to know why he is so great with chicks

-it´s because he treats them like humans and not aliens

-can play the guitar

Jamuo:

-will be a comic artist or in video game design -he can fight decently                                                                                            -hella proud of bitch slapping Yasushi  

-literally lives of caffeine

-contains a little feral gremlin energy

-probably read some psychology books

-still flinches whenever he´s alone with Yasushi and he´s well...Yasushi

-sleeps with a knife under his pillow

-so sarcastic it physically hurts

-gonna be married first 

[aphrodite1288]

im sorry but saying ksoo never said Ji about his premature enlistment is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said. I mean that's something he didn't decide a week before his enlistment it might be imposible for Ji not knowing that. If that's true which I think it's not the case I directly broke up with him like that's not a decision you make alone if u are in a long term relationship

First of all guys whom are Non-Kaisooists, I saw Kadi kissing and going on Vacations in Spain, Hungary, Hawaii, L.A, Philippines and Jeju, and in Sapporo and Osaka, you will not affect me or change my mind with your asks. So spear yourself the effort and don't come here if our blog irritates you! What you believe keep it for yourself no need to come convince us what you believe. Do I make you this Angry that you had to come anonymously send such dumb questions?

So back to the main topic:

If you were a real EXOL you would know EXO said Ksoo came to them without any notice and said I'm going to be enlisted in 2 months and it was in April and they clearly said they were shocked all of them when he announced that he applied for the Military and signed all the paperwork and done some of the medical checkups.

And Honey, I didn't say it ! It's the People who know better than me and you said.

The members also said he told them nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even discuss it with the company to reschedule any future projects because simply he has had enough of SM and he sabotaged them his own way. And the members said they were all so supportive.

And Ji was there with them and after Ksoo's enlistment Ji went absent for two months straight no bubble messages no Instagram lives nothing he went disappearing. under the excuse that he forgot his password. After that he was so depressed and sad and shortly before SuperM's debut he came on RadioStar show and revealed he suffered from Depression the past few months which explains his absence , he also said he is seeking medical help with a therapist!

And I still remember the MC shamelessly and Rudely asked Suho if he knew about this and him and the members were all so taken aback and they showed sad expression and that Stupid MC again shamelessly told Suho : "Did you know about your member was mentally exhausted and depressed? You Should be more attentive to your members'mental health!!" and Suho was so embarrassed and hurt that he apologized to Jongin and told him " I'll pay more attention to you and the members from now on and always come to Hyung whenever you feel like you need to talk, don't hide it". Because Ji clearly said he didn't tell any member that he was in deep depression or that he was regularly seeing a Therapist.

And it was a very critical Kadi period that he went for hiatus for two months and even earlier that year in 2019 after jenkai, Ksoo fought with SM and was reported to have left the company remember March 13th 2019?? (if you were in this blog since 2019 they talked a lot about this and explained everything regarding how Jenkai is related to Ksoo's case with SM and how it affaceted Kadi and Ji). Ksoo went missing since Jenkai exactly since January 5th when he was seen in Blue dragon awards show or whatever I don't remember the name, until his enlistment day July 1st, he was ABSENT. AKsoo took a long vacation refusing to be on any Schedule and refused to film Underdogs2 and refused all Acting projects and even refused to be on any Exo schedule as he was in a major mental health crisis and he even filed a lawsuit saying he was being overworked for 7 years with 0 off days unlike the other members, it was his first vacation since he debuted and SM only gave him 7 days vacation in 7 years and he talked about it in The 100Days Husband Press Conference and Booklet ,it's one of the main reasons he wanted to leave which is why the rumor dropped in March 2019, it was reported that he wanted all the accumulated Vacations since 2012 SM wanted to rob from him! Which is why he went missing for 6 months and we saw him going to Japan 3 times with Chanyeol in February remember? Also Baekhyun said he met Ksoo accidentally in Japan and they had a meal together. At that time Ji went to Philippines with his friends. This time Kadi were on a break from each other. And Ji didn't speak to Ksoo and there were no sightings of the both of them together anywhere and Ksoo didn't stay with Ji at all and they weren't even on talking terms.

Every couple have downfalls like this it's normal. We all almost broke up or even broken up with our partners at one point of our lives. Especially if you're in over a decade relationship of almost 14 years.

Anyway the story is too long. I can explain it all if you DM me instead of Hiding like this.

[centralperkchenford]

I’m back again

Chenford + at the airport waiting to board their flight to Hawaii and run into Ashley

😈

A nice throwback to that vaca he definitely never took with ash but is now totes taking with Lucy

Hiiii! This is to make up for the last one 🫣. I literally went straight for the heart with that one 🤣😅. Hope you enjoy this one!!

Chenford + at the airport waiting to board their flight to Hawaii and run into Ashley

'Cause there's somethin' 'bout the waves

There's somethin' 'bout the breeze blowin' through

“Ohhh.” Says Lucy suddenly from Tim’s side. He glances over at her and she has brochure in her hands. She’s reading it intently, her eyes scanning the page fast. He has no idea where she even got the brochure. She definitely didn’t have it when they entered the airport.

“What?” He asks. She looks over at him and cuddles into his side some more and licks her lips. “We can zip line through the jungle.” She says bouncing in her seat. Tim raises his eyebrows at her.

“And you want to do that?” He questions her. He knows Lucy is always eager to try new things and he loves her for it. But zip lining through the jungle? It sounded a bit risky.

“Yes!” She says and she turns in her seat and tucks her legs underneath her so she’s facing him. “I know Hawaii isn’t your thing but—”

“I’m excited.” He says honestly and he is. It may be because of the hotel room he got has a giant hot tub in the middle of it and that just sounds relaxing. Plus Lucy will be there with him and it will be even better.

Lucy laughs and leans over the armrest to kiss him. “I love you. You know that?”

“I love you too baby.” He says. She readjusts herself and then lays her head on his shoulder and reaches for his hand. She plays with his fingers, a little bit and then his ring finger bringing it up to her lips to kiss it.

He sighs happily because Hawaii wasn’t on his top places to go but he would do anything for Lucy, go anywhere with Lucy.

There’s a comfortable silence that he really only ever has with Lucy.

“Hey.” Says Lucy lifting her head up. He looks at her, her brown eyes sparkling and bright.

“Yeah?” He asks. She runs her finger across his lips, a grin on her face.

“You make me happy.” She says and Tim’s heart clenches in the best way. He opens his mouth to respond when there’s a cough above them. He furrows his eyebrows and looks up. His mouth falls open slightly, and he subconsciously pulls Lucy closer.

It’s Ashley.

She’s looking down at both of them with a frown on her face. She’s in her usual getup and her blonde hair is loose as always.

Tim feels Lucy’s eyes on him, and he swallows as he looks at his ex girlfriend realizing they were suppose to go to Hawaii and never did. There is now an uncomfortable, stifling silence as they all just look at each other.

“Tim.” Says Ashley finally the bitterness in her tone evident. “Where are you headed to?” Tim glances around and sees the sign. Departure: Oahu 10:30- on time.

“Uh Hawaii.” He mumbles. Ashley purses her lips at him, glaring at Lucy her eyes narrowed.

“Where are you going?” Tim asks. Ashley frowns at him and gestures to the sign.

“Same place. Lifeguard convention.” She says.

Lucy coughs and Tim puts his hand on her knee, ready for this awkward interaction to be over.

“Oh. Sounds fun.” Tim replies. He never understood why Ashley was a lifeguard and he didn’t even know there were lifeguard conventions. Which in his opinion sounded miserable.

“It will be.” Ashley replies crossly. “I thought you didn’t want to go to Hawaii.”

“I never—”

“You cancelled our trip because you changed your mind.” Ashley says. And while that was half true, he actually cancelled the trip because of the UC op and then he was in a weird place with Lucy and Ashley broke up with him. It really was bad timing all around.

“I—” Tim begins but Ashley interrupts him again.

Her face in a snarl as she looks at Lucy. “Don’t count on him staying. He will just change his mind and want to stay in the hotel all day. He hates the beach.”

He doesn’t hate the beach, he dislikes it and he would never leave Lucy alone. Besides, he is going to see Lucy in a bikini and well that’s worth a lot. And he loves Lucy a lot more than he hates the beach.

“He wouldn’t leave me alone.” Says Lucy confidently. “He may not like the beach but he does stuff he doesn’t like for the people that he loves.”

Tim squeezes her knee in agreement. Ashley scoffs but Tim turns to her having about enough of her prissy, bitter attitude.

“Have fun at your lifeguard convention Ashley.” He says and he turns back to Lucy. Ashley makes a grumbling noise and then he hears her stomp away. Lucy looks at Tim a grin on her face.

“She’s going to be fun to be around.” She says and Tim laughs kissing her on the side of the head.

“Yeah.” He agrees. “And what the fuck is a lifeguard convention?”

Lucy bursts out laughing and Tim sees Ashley across the room glaring at them both. He presses another kiss to the side of Lucy’s head grateful that this is his life. Grateful that he’s spending it with Lucy and grateful that he knows this is it for him. Lucy is his forever and he can’t wait to make it official.

He has a ring waiting for him at home, wanting to propose in a place that is special to them. And as soon as they get home he’s going to propose.

And he cannot wait.

But for now he’s going to enjoy this week with Lucy even if it means zip lining through the jungle.

He will do it because she’s worth it the risk.

[alexsoenomel]

Birthday Boy (Sam Winchester x Reader fluff)

Summary: It’s Sam’s birthday today and you decide to surprise him

Pairing: Sam x Reader 

Warnings: none

Word count: 461

Note: Just an old drabble I found. Enjoy! Like/reblog or both if you like it! :)

It was his birthday so you decided to give him something he had always wanted. Sammy didn’t like his birthdays or better to put it he treated that day like any other which annoyed you, because second of May was special and so was he. He gave so much to the world and yet got so little in return. He had saved your ass so many times you can’t even count, he was kind, good and the most important thing he truly did love you. It was the least you could do.

“Happy Birthday Sam! Meet Layla, Layla this is Sammy.” You said holding the leash while a golden retriever was sitting next to you, looking at her new friend.

“Who?” Sam asked confused. “Why?”

“It’s your birthday you idiot.” You smiled. “Tell me you didn’t forget your own birthday.”

“I didn’t even realize-“ 

“I swear to God for your next birthday I’m taking you to Hawaii.”

“Oh yeah, and with what money?” He teased.

“I will rob a bank for you.”

Sam smiled, after few long and painfully hard weeks with sleepless nights in between, he was finally smiling again. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips making your heart pound a little faster.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too.”

Sam looked down only to see a slight confused but happy dog staring back at him. “Where did you find her?”

“She was out in the cold behind the bar Dean and I went few days ago. She was starving and didn’t have any place to go, I guess the owner of the bar didn’t want her anymore, so I talked to Dean, he just said dogs and cars don’t mix, and without his approval took her to the vet where she stayed until today.”

Sam got on his knees to pet his new friend.

Layla was enjoying this very much. She loved humans like every other dog. The feeling of his hand on her head pleased her. His touch made her feel safe and sound. “She is beautiful.” He mumbled not taking his eyes off of her.

“She really is.” You said enjoying the sight. Seeing Sam happy and smiling was like seeing a rainbow after the storm. It would get even more magical and wonderful than the last time.

Sam suddenly wrapped his strong arms around your waist and spin you around. You gasped not expecting it whatsoever. “I love you.” He said.

“More than life itself.” You smiled before closing the gap between you and the birthday boy. 

“Where is Dean by the way?” He said as he broke the kiss.

“He is on the road looking for your birthday cake.”

“He will probably buy pie instead.” Sam smiled and kissed you again.

[lire-casander]

don't want to set the world on fire

[rating] teen and up audiences [pairing] carlos reyes/tk strand [prompt] tarlos historical au [warnings] angst with a happy ending, canonical character deaths, pearl harbor au, world war ii, grief, mourning, fluff, kissing, alternating pov

[summary] 1941. tk strand and carlos reyes arrive in hawaii ready to recover from their own, personal tragedies. what they are not expecting is to find love among war.

happy holidays, @tailoredshirt! i really hope you enjoy reading this story just as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it! 

it wouldn’t have made sense without the incredibly fast beta-reading help of @morganaspendragonss and the hand-holding offered by @moviegeek03 when i thought i couldn’t do this. 

title from the song by the ink spots, which was released in 1941.

don't want to set the world on fire 15k+ | read on ao3

March 27th, 1941

“What do you mean, you're going to Europe?” TK tries to control his voice as he chooses to ask the first of the myriad of questions that are exploding in his head.

“They need the help,” Alex explains calmly. He doesn't look TK in the eye when he continues, “That's why I enlisted.”

“You volunteered?” TK screeches, earning themselves a few glares from the other people having dinner at this fancy restaurant where he had thought about proposing to his boyfriend.

Maybe proposing isn't exactly the right word, since they can't actually get married, but TK had planned to promise forever to this man who's now telling him that he's volunteered to step into a war that doesn't even have anything to do with them.

This definitely isn't how TK had envisioned his evening going.

“Yeah,” Alex confirms in a low voice. “It's not unheard of, you know. We need to help.”

“We?” TK huffs. “It's not our war, Alex. Your selflessness is amazing, but I highly doubt that you dying for them is going to change the course of the war.”

“You can't know that,” Alex retorts. He sighs as he stretches his hand across the table to rest it on top of TK’s, but TK jerks back. “TK, please,” he tries again. “I know it's difficult to understand and almost impossible to accept, but all I'm asking of you is to respect my decision.”

“How can you ask me to respect that you want to—die for people who will never even know your name?” He tries to keep his voice steady and still low, so as to not attract any more attention upon them, but it breaks around the middle, tears threatening to fall. “Alex—”

“I'm a pilot,” his boyfriend interrupts. “That's what I am. That's the only thing I am. I know I can help. I'm going to, whether you want me to or not, but I'd hoped that you'd at least understand, what with your father being a high-up and—”

“War was what broke my parents.” It's now TK’s turn to cut the conversation off, veering it towards the pain he's feeling. “How could you think that I'd be fine knowing that you'd volunteered to die halfway across the world? When did this happen? How did I miss it?”

Alex doesn't say anything, as if sensing that TK needs to say everything that's crushing his heart.

“When?” TK asks, voice not louder than a whisper. He remembers, a second too late, the dispatch orders his father's signed this very same morning; TK was at Colonel Strand's office when a secretary came in with a stack of papers allowing American soldiers to fly out the very next morning. “Please don't say—”

“Tomorrow,” Alex says, looking down at his plate.

TK holds his breath for a few seconds, counts to five, and exhales slowly. He repeats to himself that he won't panic, that everything will be fine in the end. After seven rounds of controlled breathing, he feels confident enough to speak, even though his soul is shattered.

“Here I thought that tonight would be the first night of our whole future together…and it's actually the last night for us.”

Alex looks stricken as TK’s words seem to register. TK witnesses his boyfriend understand what his plan had been all along, as a lonely tear rolls down his cheek, as Alex wipes it away discreetly because he's a soldier and he needs to be tough, not sensitive. He looks down at his hands, balled in fists over the tablecloth, and exhales.

“Well,” Alex finally says. He reaches out to touch TK, and this time he lets Alex's fingers smooth the skin over his hands. “If this is our last night together, would you save a dance for me?”

That's what both disarms TK and breaks his heart, at the same time.

He has never been able to say no to Alex, not even once in the whole fourteen months, three weeks, five days and seventeen hours since they started dating. And yes, he's been counting—sue him.

“Of course,” TK breathes out slowly. “Wanna go to the pier after dinner?”

continue reading on ao3!

[theresawritesstuff]

I'd love to see 24 and 7 of the 3 word sentences list if you feel like it (either one or if you're feeling daring, both! but its up to you! <3<3)

Hawaii 1973

"I think I'm gonna throw up."

Midge smiled patiently, adjusting the flower on her manager's lapel. "You're not going to throw up. You're just nervous."

"Fuck nervous! I'm having a panic attack. Feel my heartbeat."

Susie took her hand, planting it firmly over her chest, her eyes wide with fear.

"Susie, it's okay. Just breathe," Midge coached gently, modeling deep breaths.

"Hey are you two just about–"

The pair looked up to see Lenny smirking in the doorway.

"If you're looking for tips for the honeymoon I've found that move is more successful a couple inches lower but I'm willing to defer to the lady in this case."

"Did you need something?" Midge wondered patiently.

"Just checking to see if you're ready," he replied. "Jim's been keeping everyone entertained but the guy only has so many songs in his repertoire that aren't about melancholy heartbreak or a fistfight."

Susie forgot her panic for a moment, her face shifting to confusion. "Jim who?"

"Oops."

Lenny covered his mouth with his hand, glancing towards Midge apologetically.

Susie turned back to look at her expectantly.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Midge sighed.

Susie waited, dropping Midge's hand to put her own expectantly on her hip.

"We got Jim Croce," the comedienne admitted finally.

"You got Jim Croce to play at my wedding?"

"Yes."

"Miriam I fucking love Jim Croce!"

"I know. That was kind of the reason we went with him."

"Miriam!" Susie squeaked her eyes growing watery.

"Susie."

"Fuck…"

Susie began to pace, her hands flapping as she blinked back overwhelmed tears.

"I think we broke her," Lenny quipped to his wife.

"You couldn't just get us a new toaster or something?" Susie cried in exasperated joy.

"We got you a slow cooker too," Midge replied softly, watching her friend work through her feelings.

"That's so thoughtful of you! I never want to cook after I'm at the office all day and I'm always starving," Susie wailed.

She took a deep breath, calming herself down.

"Feeling okay now?" Midge wondered. "Or do I need to remind you there's cake later?"

Her manager shook her head.

"What if she gets sick of me?

"She won't," Midge assured her.

"But what if she does?"

Midge let out a sigh, putting her hands on Susie's shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Then we'll get drunk and go down to the Gaslight so you can flash someone and then I'll help you pick up the pieces."

Her manager smiled, shaking her head.

"How the hell have you done this three times? This is terrifying."

"I've only been married twice."

Susie raised a brow about to contradict her but Midge quickly held up a finger.

"The one in Vegas doesn't count," she insisted.

She let out a deep breath, giving it some thought, glancing over at Lenny.

"Yes the idea of taking this big of a step can be scary. Especially when you've been hurt by love in the past. But when you find the right someone… Someone who loves you for you, someone who celebrates your big wins and picks you up when you're down. Makes you laugh at the breakfast table…Taking that leap can feel like flying."

"What about the landing?" Susie wondered.

"Well that's why there's two of you. You've just gotta trust the other person to catch you," Lenny offered from his place in the doorway.

Midge looked over at him softly, a tender smile on her lips.

Susie groaned. "God how are you two still this goo goo eyed after being hitched for five years?"

Lenny chuckled. "Just lucky."

Midge blinked, the number sticking in her mind. "Huh."

Lenny quirked a brow in question.

"I just realized we've been married longer than I was married to Joel."

"You sound surprised," he smirked.

"No, no! Just…" Midge smiled, processing the emotion. "It's freeing in a way."

Lenny nodded, looking a little smug. "You do realize what this means…"

"Please don't tell me you've decided to hire a secretary," Midge huffed teasingly.

Lenny shook his head. "No. It means I am now the reigning champion of being Mrs Maisel's Mister."

Midge shook her head, grinning.

"You already had that in the bag."

"Are you two done?" Susie asked impatiently.

"That depends. Are you ready get non-state recognized hitched?" Lenny batted back.

Susie smiled, flipping him off as she dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Just give us five more minutes," Midge told him softly.

"Can do." 

He gave her a thumbs up.

"Hey Susie?" he added doubling back.

"What?"

"You look great."

Susie smiled softly.

"Thanks. Now leave, will yah?"

Lenny smirked, leaving the two of them alone.

Susie let out a deep breath, collecting herself. 

Once she was back to herself, she barked "Alright. Work your magic so I don't look all puffy. I've got a lady waiting for me to put a ring on her finger."

[jumpthatjump]

wip, spoilers for infinite wealth

Title: Hawaii...2! Pairing: Eiji/Ichiban Word count: ~800 Rating: E, for now Part 3 of ?, Part 1 Here, Part 2 Here Summary: The two of them are re-doing a Hawaiian vacation--properly this time. (Going shopping...sort of)

They did not make it to the shopping center. 

Ichiban got distracted by another ABC store and he just had to go inside, as if this one was different from the others on every block. 

Eiji had at least allowed himself to be convinced to take off his hoodie when the sun began to beat overhead and shine brightly against the buildings they were surrounded by, and was sitting on a bench waiting for him since this was the third one he wanted to duck into.

The first one they came out with a warm two pack musubi for them to share. The next one a single bottle of passion orange juice–with two straws–which prompted Eiji to ask if he was already out of cash, with Ichiban insisting that friends share drinks, Ei-chan.

Friends.

He had wanted that friendship when Ichiban offered it so freely back in his apartment before he turned himself in, had accepted it when Ichiban met up with him again after it was all over, but something about being here made him feel like he didn't deserve it. 

It was walking down the same sidewalks they did when they first talked together, it was seeing the same buildings they went in before when he had been lying to and scheming and manipulating Ichiban. It reminded him of the distress on the other man's face when he happily revealed his plans, of the anger in his voice when Eiji continued to hurt him, and of his desperate pleadings for him to stop.

…Maybe it was a bad idea to sit here alone with his thoughts, with familiar sights around him. And even though he hadn't seen certain groups of people around, it didn't mean they weren't somewhere. 

This was supposed to be about forgetting those memories, but it wasn’t that easy. He wasn’t Ichiban.

“You all right?” Ichiban sat right next to him. “You’re looking a little down.”

“...Just thinking.”

“Good thoughts, I hope.”

Eiji didn't quite know what to say, but Ichiban gave him a moment, the silence between them somehow not stifling. 

“Kasuga-san,” he finally said, eyes downcast. “I should thank you.”

“Who, me?”

Even though Ichiban sounded confused, the old him would have been convinced he was being coy, as if he didn't know exactly why and was fishing to be praised. He knew better now.

“Yes,” he said softly. “For everything.”

Ichiban didn't miss a beat, as if he had been waiting for this moment. 

“Then I should thank you, too.”

It was Eiji's turn to be confused. “For what?”

“For not giving up,” Ichiban said easily. “It’s hard to reach out to others, or to accept the help that's being offered. I’ve seen it happen way too many times.”

He looked at him straight in the eyes, sounding so genuine and so delighted.  “And you gave me a second chance with you.”

Eiji could not help shooting him a look of sheer disbelief. “I gave you a chance?”

As if Eiji hadn't been the one to attempt to ruin his life, to hurt him physically and mentally, to–

“You're here, aren't you?” Ichiban broke through his spiraling thoughts with a gentle tone. “I think the fact that we’re both here means something.”

Eiji made a helpless noise at that. “What do you mean?”

Ichiban just gave him a shrug and a smile. “We can figure it out together.”

He didn't give him time to think further or to protest, distracting him by continuing to talk. 

“Anyway. Here.” He handed him a tiny white paper bag with the ABC store logo on it. “What do you think?”

Inside was a pair of earrings of white plumerias with a burst of blue in the middle, and hanging from a length of black metal links.

Eiji stared at it, speaking tonelessly, “Buying a souvenir?”

“Yeah, for you.”

Ichiban said it so simply, it shook him out of the numbness he was falling into.

“I saw it and it reminded me of you. I think you’d match.” Then he puffed up, looking super pleased with himself. “My friends say I’m the best at choosing gifts.” 

Eiji's throat began to hurt.

Ichiban had noticed he liked the colors and the flowers at some point, had somehow noticed his pierced ears even though he hadn't worn jewelry in how long. Eiji realized at no point had he done anything for him, had not given anything to him. 

He probably would have broke a little right there if Ichiban hadn't leaned in and said in a worried tone, 

“I hope it fits.”

Eiji almost laughed at that. “You hope it fits?”

Ichiban did laugh. “Is that weird to say?”

It was. It was dumb and ridiculous and–

Eiji let out a breath as he straightened up, feeling lighter. “No.” He held up the earrings to see them again. “But they'll fit. Your friends were right about you choosing gifts.”

[camaro-and-smokes]

The Letter

Rating: Mature Warning: Major Character Death Category: M/M Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Relationship: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington Characters: Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove Additional Tags: Harringrove, Heavy Angst, I mean seriously heavy, Mentions of Death

Notes: This is my 9th and final entry to the @harringroveson-bingo 2022-2023 square A1: What could've been. NOTE! This fic has an overall theme that some might find disturbing. If you choose to read, make sure you have tissues. Because I cried my eyes off when I wrote this.

Summary: The fact that the letter needed to be written in the first place was the worst.

::::::::::

Billy,

Steve looked at the name on the paper. How it smudged when his tear fell on the ink that hadn’t yet dried in full. He let out a frustrated scream and crushed the paper, chucking it onto the floor with other crumbled papers that covered the big part of the room’s floor.

He leaned onto the table and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, and took a deep breath to keep himself from crying again. The sleeves and the hem of his shirt were soaked because he had run out of tissues a long time ago. But he couldn’t leave the house to buy more before he got his feelings on a paper.

It was the only way he knew to tackle the bottomless hurt that was his life now after a long agonizing time—and yet, all too soon.

He wanted the letter to be perfect, but it felt like every start had something wrong from the get go.

But everything was wrong now. Him having to write the letter in the first place was the worst.

His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and his heart ached. If ever, now he knew that heart could indeed break. Because his had.

And nothing would ever make it better.

He was angry at Billy for leaving. For going away. For hurting him like no one else ever could. Shattering his heart into a thousand pieces. It could never be put together again the way it had been.

Maybe he should’ve told Billy that his leaving would make him a shadow of his former self. Maybe it would’ve made all the difference. Maybe Billy would’ve stayed if he had.

But Billy probably had known that even without him saying the words.

Steve knew it was useless, all this anger. But he was at a point he would’ve done anything to have Billy back. If it would make a difference, he would travel on the other side of the world to find him. He would give his left kidney, if it changed everything. His life, even.

The things he would do just to see Billy one more time, to have him in his arms, just once more. Just one more touch, one more kiss.

People told him he would find someone new. That he would get over Billy.

As if it was that simple. How do you get over someone who made you the person you are? Someone you wanted to make happy every moment of every day? Someone who made you happy just by existing?

Why would you ever want to get over something like that?

He sat back down, and took another paper in front of him, and started writing.

Billy… You broke me into a thousand pieces. My life halted that moment on that couch when you left. I’m still there, sitting, still unable to breathe, just waiting for you to come back into my arms.

I’ve never hurt more, and I wish you could feel how much. I know it’s not fair to think like that. But you took everything from me. I was left with nothing, and now I don’t know how I’m supposed to live.

Because you were my everything.

There’s so much we should’ve done instead of what we did. We used to bicker about such useless things and moped in different rooms.

We should’ve taken that trip to Hawaii you always wanted. I don’t know why I always said no. Just a long weekend. Two days off from work. I could’ve done that. Or the grass in the backyard that always burned in the summer when there wasn’t enough rain. I should’ve just changed it into a plastic one and you would've had green grass all year long.

Or we should've had that baby you so much wanted, with a surrogate mother. Then I’d at least have them to remind me of you. Someone looking like you. Maybe even being a little like you.

So many things you wanted, and I denied them from you. And now I see I denied them also from myself.

What could have been if in all those moments I would’ve just listened instead and agreed to what you wanted? And then just kissed everything better.

Yes, we should’ve kissed so much more. And made love. Even though I loved your mind, it was never a secret that I adored your body. I don’t think I can ever touch anyone the way I did you.

I don’t think I will ever even want to.

I wish I’d known how to fix everything. How to fix whatever was causing it all, quietly eating you from the inside until it was too late to stop it.

But I know these what ifs are useless. You’re beyond of point of no return. You’re not coming back. The fucking cancer took you from me.

I loved you so much. More than I realized even myself until now when I can no longer tell you.

I just wish that when my words weren’t enough to tell you how much I loved you, my deeds spoke for themselves, even if they weren't always perfect, and that all of them together said everything you needed to hear.

Billy, you will forever be my first and my last, my alpha and my omega, my everything.

Now my only wish is that when it’s my time to join you, you’ll be at the gates, waiting.

Your ever loving husband, Steve