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#why do they act like that. i cant stand them
pinkandlilacroses · 2 days
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Angel - Paige bueckers
part 3
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• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}
• warnings {drug use, angst}
• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist
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bella’s pov
“ok you can go now” she says, emotionless
“oh”
“i mean, no offence but i have a girl coming soon, so you cant be here” she says laying on her back, breaking our eye contact
i don’t respond and put my clothes back on. this is fucked
“have a nice night”
i haven’t cried this much in months, walking through the halls, ugly crying.
‘paige’ has been blocked by ‘bella’
“bella whats wrong” avery says, empathetically
“i hate her, i hate her so much” i cry, barley being able to choke the words out
i look at avery after my response and i have never seen her that angry, there could fully be steam coming from her ears.
“please dont talk to her, please dont hurt her, please avery, please” i cry out, begging the infuriated girl
“why not bella, she deserves it” she yells
my tears dont stop and i feel like they will never stop pouring.
“tell me what she did”
i begin the tell her the events of tonight and her anger only grows.
“that fucking bitch” is all she can say in response
“but i blocked her, and im literally never gonna speak to her again” i say, trying to make a positive point, to counteract this negative situation
“you are never gonna speak to her again”
“im gonna go off to bed”
i feel broken, i got used. i wanted my first time with a girl to be meaningful, i know i like girls and i wanted to prove to myself that having sex with girls wasn’t wrong, but i feel wrong, i feel gross. i cant believe i would let myself be that vulnerable with someone i barley know. ive never been the one to have one night stands and ive only ever had sex with someone ive been in a relationship with.
i take my valium, something i swore to never use again after getting addicted, but its the only thing that works.
“hey, how are you feeling” avery ask’s, genuinely. i’ve never seen her be this gentle before
“wheres my weed”
“bella no”
“shut up avery”
i walk to the kitchen and unlock one of the drawers, and i see the stash. thank god
i know i shouldn’t smoke as a coping mechanism, but its the only thing that works, every time something bad happens to me, i turn to smoking
after going through 3 joints, im barley able to talk or stand up. perfect
knock
ugh
knock
fuck off
knock
“who is it” i say, it barley even sounded like words
“its azzi, is avery here”
who the fuck is azzi
“avery theres a bitch here for you” i say taking another drag
“oh my god! hey azzi” avery says, excitedly, why the fuck is she acting like that
“why are you so fucking happy” i ask, knowing full well how rude i sound
“this is azzi, shes in my psychology class and we have gotten pretty close” avery says, grabbing azzi and sitting next to me on the couch
“yo dont sit on my shit” i say, mad
“your bella right?” azzi says, happily. i hate happy people
“yeah”
“yeah avery’s told me alot about you” she says
“cool” i reply, dryly
“azzis on the basketball team” avery says, my eyes widen
“of course she is” i say, sarcastically. i hate basketball
“yeah, have you been to any games” she questioned, attempting to continue this boring conversation
“nah, i dont watch basketball”
“oh well you should sometime, avery keeps saying how she wants to go to a game” azzi says, looking at avery who begins giggling. sus
“bella your probably friends with some people on the team” avery says
“you wanna hit” i offer to azzi
“nah, i dont smoke”
“boring” i say, bluntly
“do you guys mind if some of my friends come over” azzi says
“no, no, thats perfectly fine” avery says, looking at azzi. basically eye fucking her
“who” i ask
“ice, kk, aubrey, nika and ashlee” she lists
fuck my life. im to high to care
“yeah whatever” i say, lazily
“ok perfect, ill tell them to come” azzi says, excitedly
“are you sure” avery whispers to me, being nice. for once
“i dont give a fuck, its fine” i say taking a drag
im so high. god damn
10 minutes later all of azzis friends turn up, why are they all so tall. what the fuck
avery introduces herself to them and points them to our couch
“hey im kk, your bella right” kk asks
“yeah im bella”
“hey im ice”
“hey im nika”
“hey im ashlee”
“hey im aubrey”
to many people to remember
until
“oh paige came to, i hope you dont mind” azzi says to us, mostly avery
avery says nothing, myself included
“hi paige” avery says, extremely cold
“come sit guys” azzi says, breaking the silence. i wish i wasn’t so high cause i wanna go to my room
everyone sits on the couch, paige sitting the furthest away from me. funny. not funny. not laughing
conversation begins and everyone is involved. everyone but me, ugh i’m so uncomfortable
paige keeps looking at me, and yes i’m noticing because i’m looking at her to.
paige’s pov
fuck. why do i keep looking at her.
she blocked me last night so obviously shes mad about my actions last night, its just a hookup, nothing more.
its not that deep
“i’m going to bed” bella says, slurring and barely able to stand up. i didn’t know she smoked that much, i guess i don’t know anything about her. but i don’t care.
“paige are you ready to go” kk and ice say to me
“yeah, aubrey, nika, azzi, u ready to go”
“yeah lets go”
“actually im gonna stay” azzi says. sus
“buy guys” is said in unison
azzis pov
“ugh finally” avery says, while smashing her lips onto mine
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A/N: im being active rn lolll. how do we like avery and azzi
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ganondoodle · 1 hour
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dont want to make two posts so im putting them both in one (totk thoughts ... uh oh i cannot shut up)
anyone else find raurus arm .. WEIRD? like, judging how the rings on the fingers are literally MADE for absorbing someones elses ability just adds to rauru and the lot of the sonau feeling .. off- what do you mean you wear a bracelet made for incorporating swears of fealty from others and gaining their abilities while they gain nothing?? and then rauru doesnt even seem to make use of that (which i guess is in line with .. the ghost copies links gets going away if the actual sage is there- SO WHATS THE POINT THEN???) though thats a bit more unclear since ..... we dont get to see ANYTHING from the last battle, all standing around with dirt tm texture on them 5 times and then they throw their weapons (weird.... use your damn ability) so zelda can use her new important time power .... once .... to make them fly backwards again and rauru does one thing :/
another thing, funny how the enigma stones are supposedly enhancing whatever powers someone already had, bc other than ganondorf none really gain anything, they act like they achieved some new power level (and suddendly know how to do it as soon as they have the stone) but then its just a silent ghost copy of themselves and they gain ... nothing but some jewelry, i find that a little .. underwhelming? and strange bc why does gan get a nuclear power upgrade and they print a bad copy of themselves and its treated like the same thing (i know its gan and he kinda deserves to get more out of it but do you know what i mean?)
cant help but also feel like its not even .. related to their own ability, like at all, istn it supped to enhance THEIR power, what does a ghost copy have to do with water magic? (wouldnt that more be sth of the shiekah/yiga .. creating copies of yourself?) if anything its something for link to gain .. i guess? or raurus arm i suppose? wouldnt it have been great if they all had a weaker version of the ability at the start and AFTER they gain the stone it gets upgraded, or its like it now is and after the they get their stone its stronger, like maybe rijus is as normal but then when she has the stone it charges faster and doesnt get canceled if she gets knocked over (assuming the way to control the ability stays the same ... which i wouldnt want bc that is so bad to control even if you change it like this) and giving link access to it is just PART of the stones power and not literally all it is
AND THEN ... you cant even argue that it doubles their fighting power bc now theres two of each bc .... the copies ... go away when the actual sage is there .......................................... so its really just a hamfisted way to give you their power ... and its not really giving you their power its giving you a copy of them which is just clunky and unnecessary, you want the theme to be connection (lol where) so you give the player soulless silent ghosts to accompany you ...? not even the real deal? (i know that would be harder to do bc they are all important ppl in their own region and turning them off would be be strange- but them having to teleport around isnt an argument bc they also do that in their dungeon- hello yuno i didnt know you can fall from the sky at will- and all that wouldnt be a problem with my next suggestion
wouldnt it be even MORE of a connection if it worked more like in botw? giving YOU a literal part of their ability, their soul even, and their abilities are now so much a part of you that you cant sever them, its integrated into your moveset, no silent ghosts to run after, your friends are part of you, ACTUAL YOU and not part of an ancient kings arm bracelet rings
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thebirdsandthebats · 5 months
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TIMBER FICLET
Bernard washes Tim’s hair for him.
(A little angst/fluff and hurt/comfort, mostly just these two being in love and domestic)
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“Ow.”
The complaint is quiet. There’s no real fire behind Tim’s voice, more a sound made for the sake of breaking the silence than anything else. He doesn’t even wince as gentle fingers poke at the cut on his temple. He’s sitting in a dining chair, moved in front of the kitchen sink so Bernard can stand in front of him and clean up his cuts. Out of the two of them, it’s Bernard who hisses at the touch, looking a little queasy.
He still has it in him to steel Tim with an unimpressed look. “That didn’t hurt, so don’t pretend it did.”
Tim huffs out a laugh as the hand tilting his chin up moves to squeeze his cheeks. “Why do you look like you’re gonna be sick, then?” He asks, words muffled by his squished lips, and Bernard shakes his head. He releases Tim’s face in favor of picking up the damp rag and dabbing again at the cut. It stings, but not bad. Bernard has already gotten all the grit out, and his dabbing seems to just be a distracted motion at this point.
He chews his bottom lip. “Because it looks worse than it is. I don’t like seeing you hurt at all, but I really don’t like knowing they got close enough to do this,” he sighs. Tim slumps in his seat. He reaches out and takes Bernard’s free hand in a silent apology. Their fingers fit together easily, a familiar comfort to both of them. Bernard drops the rag on the counter and pauses to look Tim over again. Distractedly, he reaches up to play with a strand of Tim’s bangs.
He smiles. “You keep your hair so neat now. I remember when there was a bottle of gel in it every day.” He fingers a strand of black hair, soft and freshly trimmed. Nothing like when they met. Tim cringes at the memory. Yeah, he’d had a big thing for spiking his hair back then. Nowadays he prefers to keep it short and out of the way, even if Stephanie had lamented the loss of the longer hair he’d settled into for a while.
Tim leans into the touch. “And yet I still get all kinds of gross stuff in it every patrol,” he teases. Bernard’s fingers still. His eyes light up the way they always do when he comes to a realization that he likes.
He leans forward, further into Tim’s space, and beams at him brighter than the sun. “Can I wash it for you?”
“I—” Tim leans back and blinks rapidly. His nose scrunches as the question processes. “You want to wash my hair?” He asks. It’s an odd request. Nobody has washed Tim’s hair for him since he was a very small child. Even through his worst injuries where he needed help getting to the shower, Tim has managed to avoid it because hair just wasn’t a priority. He reaches up to feel his own hair, fingers brushing Bernard’s as he rakes them through his bangs. Hm. Not so overwhelmingly gross that Bernard would make washing it a personal mission.
Tim’s head falls to the side in a bewildered tilt. “Why?”
Bernard shrugs. “I like taking care of you.” He speaks simply. “I think it would make both of us feel better.”
It’s not something Tim would have imagined allowing someone to do. But when Bernard asks, he can’t find any reason to say no.
Tim doesn’t even leave the kitchen. They’d never both fit in his tiny shower. Within a couple minutes of Bernard grabbing their supplies, Tim finds himself leaning his head backwards over the sink’s edge, the back of his neck cushioned by the towel draped around him. He hears the water running for a bit to heat up, and he watches Bernard’s face as the blonde tests the temperature.
He chews the inside of his cheek when he concentrates. Always has. Cute, Tim thinks.
The detachable sink head is pulled down. “Ready?” Bernard asks gently, and when Tim lifts his eyes to Bernard’s own, he’s struck dumb by the sheer amount of adoration softening his expression.
Bernard…really cares about him. Enough to dote on him, to cook for him, to wash his hair for him, and what has Tim done to deserve that? He’s so troubled by this thought that he doesn’t answer immediately. It takes Bernard tapping his forehead with a finger to chase those thoughts away.
His expression is…difficult to put a name to. “Still with me, love?” He whispers. Tim nods. He clears his throat.
“I’m here. Sorry.” He shakes his head a little. “Ready when you are.”
Bernard smiles. “I’d give anything to spend a day in your mind.”
Tim would never want him to experience that.
Warm water showers him as Bernard moves the stream to his head, and Tim sighs at the feeling. The water thoroughly soaks his hair within a few moments when Bernard pushes his bangs away from his face and into the spray. It’s the perfect temperature, and the sink head’s pressure feels nice from so close.
It isn’t long before the spray is moved, and Tim hears the pop of a shampoo bottle’s lid. He glances over, and Bernard is letting a decent amount of Tim’s expensive shampoo pool in his palm. He sets the bottle aside and moves back in, and Tim hums as he feels his boyfriend’s fingers start to work the shampoo into his hair. He works first to build a lather but Tim’s hair is shorter these days, so it only takes a moment before he’s running his fingers from root to ends, coating every strand in soap. He blinks down at Tim when he notices him watching his face.
“Baby, relax. You don’t have to keep your eyes open,” Bernard insists. Tim hadn’t realized how intense he probably looked while staring. He laughs a little, and though he doesn’t always like the vulnerability of closing his eyes when he relaxes, it’s Bernard. He trusts him. His eyes fall closed as short nails scratch at his scalp lightly. The scent of his shampoo floats in the air like steam from the water’s heat. It’s a scent that he loves. He’s used the same shampoo for most of his life. It was the same brand and scent his mother used. It smells like home, the same way that Alfred’s laundry detergent and Stephanie’s body wash and Bernard’s hoodies do.
Tim sighs again, but this time, the tension bleeds out of his shoulders. He smiles a little. The scratches against his scalp and the slight tug of his hair as it’s washed feels…really nice.
He isn’t sure how long Bernard shampoos his hair before he finally pulls the warm spray of water back overhead to rinse the suds away. It was definitely longer than his hair length warranted. There’s something so domestic about this moment, and when he drowsily blinks his eyes open to check in on his boyfriend, the blonde’s expression looks just as content as he feels.
“Conditioner next,” Bernard says quietly, like he’s hesitant to break the silence that had fallen over them. “Doing okay?”
Tim nods sleepily. “Mhm,” he confirms. It was probably for the better that he’d be finishing soon, because once Tim let himself melt into the feeling, he knew he could easily fall asleep under Bernard’s affectionate ministrations. The conditioner goes on with just as much care as the shampoo. Tim actually leans his head back into the feeling as one hand scratches at the nape of his neck, the other one running through his bangs almost leisurely. Caressing his hair, almost like he’s being pet. The mental comparison doesn’t make him bristle the way he usually might. Nothing about the gesture feels condescending or insincere.
Soft lips brush his forehead. Butterflies stir in Tim’s gut at the unexpected affection, and a smile tugs at his lips. “Love you,” he murmurs. Bernard’s hands still for just a moment. Then, the lips are back again, this time kissing his cheek. The tip of his nose. His chin, just below his lips. When he finally kisses Tim’s lips, they get lost in it for a moment as Tim stretches his neck upwards to meet him.
Tim’s gripping the sleeve of Bernard’s sweater by the time he pulls away. “I love you, too.” He says like he’s desperate for Tim to believe him.
Tim does.
They sink into comfortable quiet again as Bernard rinses his hair. He’s thorough, making sure all of the conditioner has been washed out before he finally turns off the tap. The room suddenly seems much quieter now that the constant shower of water has stopped. Bernard tugs the towel around Tim’s neck up to tousle his hair. He rubs firmly enough that it jostles his head around, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he does it.
Tim sticks his tongue out, rising to the bait but not truly annoyed. In fact, he’s relieved to see Bernard teasing him again. The tense worry from earlier had faded into something far sweeter.
Bernard finishes with the towel and drops it unceremoniously on Tim’s head. “There. Do you feel any better?” He asks. The smile can be heard in his voice, even while Tim is busy tossing the towel aside.
“Yeah. I think I do feel a bit better.” It’s an understatement. Tim feels lighter than he has in ages. Bernard looks relieved to hear it.
“Me too,” he confesses. Tim stands and stretches, lifting his arms high until his back pops. What he really wants after all that is to crawl into bed, preferably with Bernard, and sleep until his body feels fully rested. It’s not a luxury he often gets.
Tonight he feels like indulging. “Thank you, Berns. Really.”
“Tim, it’s no problem. I wanted to—oh,” Bernard perks up as Tim starts towards his bedroom, rather than his laptop where he’d usually spend hours after patrol finishing reports. Tim’s heart stutters pleasantly when he hears the footsteps immediately begin following him. “You’re sleeping already? Did I break you?”
Tim shakes his head at the last question. “Big spoon or little spoon?” He glances backwards as he pulls back the comforter. Bernard looks thrilled.
“Big. I wanna hold you,” he says, painfully earnest. And Tim still isn’t great with earnest, but god, Bernard makes it look so easy. So he lets himself be held. He lets himself drift off, feeling secure with strong arms squeezing tightly around his middle. He lets himself sleep in far later than he usually does.
And every now and then, after a particularly close call on patrol, he lets Bernard wash his hair for him.
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moeblob · 7 days
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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munch-mumbles · 1 month
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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713-4th-ward-g · 5 months
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#fucking swear i hate my dad so much#I'll never forgive him for how he was when i was a child#and right when i was starting to see him as a decent dude#he goes and acts like a child#youre 54 years old and raising your voice at me when i did nothing wrong#his stupid ass was the one who cut the pvc pipe and he thinks me telling him how to properly fix it is me criticizing him#and i told him you want me to criticize you ? fine. why were you cutting below the water lines to the washer?#theres clearly an opening showing the pvc pipe and you were the one who cut there still knowing it was there so why did you do it ?#you want me to criticize ill fucking criticize#all he has to say while screaming at me like im the one who created the problem saying shut the fuck up an go to sleep i dont want you here#he gives a stupid bullshit fix for it talking about using glue 😮‍💨 like dude you need pvc primer and glue to seal it correctly not fucking#elmers glue and tape wtf i was giving him an actual real option to fix it and he cusses me out like im the one who cut the damn pipe#i tried writing in my journal but my hand keeps cramping up#i cant stand how much of a child he is#he has no emotional control he takes his anger out of my mom and i and i fucking hate having to be the one to back away and apologize#when its his fucking issue not mine he was the one raising his voice when all i did was give him sound advice to fixing the broken pvc pipe#and i get cussed at and screamed at being told im criticizing when all i did was offer a solution to his own fucking problem he made worse#on his own accord and now hes breaking shit and kicking doors and slamming them all the while cussing over something#that can be fixed its cool to be like fucking shit i fucked up and get that energy out but to fucking throw a temper tantrum and break stuff#is fucking ridiculous it fucking takes me back to my childhood and how fucking horrible he was to my sister and i..#we walked on eggshells around him cause any little thing would make him erupt into anger and physical bouts...#lord forbid he has to do something around the house and he breaks something he will cuss and scream at us for no reason like we did it#but im in the one who has to apologize thats fucking bullshit#i really want to kill myself rn im so over the edge rn i just keep thinking of my mom and why i cant kill myself yet#not until she passes away i cant kill myself..#i long for the day i die im so tired of living here
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lovestryke · 4 months
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i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already
#help i came home and they got so ballistic that i didnt say hi to them#after my 9 months of driving myself home and entering the house from work not once have they urged a greeting out of me#why the hell do they care now???#like mom got so mad and i was like um ok * goes back to watching danny gonzalez * then i get shouted at to come to parents room#and im like siiiighhh let me put on my jacket i know this will be a while#and im just getting yelled at and standing there like. is the song and dance over yet. can i get back to my computer#and my dad is like your MOM and I DONT TREAT YOU GUYS LIKE THAT#and im just in my head like.....you give us greetings rather than treating us like human beings.....ok....i would prefer the respect rather#than the greetings....#and my dads like whenever I come home I always greet everyone#and its like. yeah ? i can think of a few times where you havent but it doesnt matter when its you right#oh you can come home and greet everyone yeah but can you treat us with respect? are you capable of not having everyone groan when they hear#your car horn that indicates you're home? do you have the ability to not make everyone hide and vacate to their rooms when they hear your#key unlocking the door? no? then i dont care about the fact you can say hi to everyone#and mom is like lecturing me and my sister about not cleaning as well and its like hi what about your husband#hi maybe you should question why we cant clean our rooms#maybe its the fact you never taught us how to organize or how often to clean? did you know you've never taught us how to properly clean?#did you know i cant clean without a timer? are you aware that your eldest daughter that gives you attitude and promised to be mean when#she's taking care of you in your last years of life doesnt clean whatsoever? the 26 year old that acts just like your husband? the one whos#only chore is to wash dishes and doesnt even do that? she complains shes too tired because of work but even on her off days she doesnt do i#? do you remember that she only does the dishes when she's going out with a boy? do you remember the 3 months where i took it upon myself t#do everyones chores because i had the time? the way you dont acknowledge i helped out a lot during that time and helped keep peace through#the house by doing that? you dont because you love to focus on the negatives and as a result you make your own life miserable#and everyone else's?especially mine because im the one who actually feels guilt? but dont do it bc im tired of doing someone else's work?
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lepidopterium · 2 years
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~~~
#like i dont have the energy to try and get myself into a routine. work business as usual so future me doesnt have to#catch up with everything ive fallen behind and let fall apart#i dont have the energy to reassure anyone that im suicidal but i will be okay. i dont know that. i dont want to promise that#and i dont have the energy to talk to anyone. barely have the energy to leave the house but i cant stand being here so thats what helps#i already have a plan but im trying not to go through with it for the sake of my brothers. but im having trouble caring either.#i cant talk to anyone. i cant lie and tell them im managing bc im not. not even a little.#listening to music isnt working. getting high isnt working. sleeping and eating isnt working. going out for air isnt working#i dont know how to pull myself out of this. i dont know why this last fight with my mother was my breaking point but it was#and i regret reaching out for help because it only#it only showed me that no one will help me get out of this house. i have to do it myself. no one can save me from this.#and i feel all the less human for it#and im heartbroken because here are two adults. so called parents. put me through years of abuse and horror who i still manage to care for#and worry about. all while im not human to them. thats what breaks my heart. thats what hurts#i cant swallow it all up anymore. my body is just racked with terror all the time. i cant pretend to be happy and engaged when i feel so#incredibly fucking alone with this awful horror thats just always clinging to every part of my body.#i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont know what to do.#everyone loves me because ive given it my all to not base my actions on how much rage and hurt im carrying. or with family bc i stay in#the closet and turn the other cheek. because i take all my wants and i put them aside and i act based on not inconveniencing anyone#and thats such a stupid thing bc look where i am now.#no one sees me. no one knows how to help me. no one can help me. and i cant keep enduring this. i cant keep relinquishing choice.#i cant get myself to believe anything otherwise. and i want to be selfish. i want to do the most selfish thing i could ever do to others.
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ienvieu · 2 years
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god i am so fucking frustrated
#80% of being the oldest sister of a bunch of immature stubborn bitchy siblings is crying your anger away in secret#damned if you try damned if you dont i am sick of it#berated for complaining even just a little and scolded when i decide not to share my struggles anymore like ffs pick your damn mind#compared to cousins compared to neighbors compared to random kids on the internet compared to their younger selves god i just.#and then they go and ask how my day has been and how im feeling gtfo i dont want that#either disown me and hate me or whatever or actually listen to me and not undermine everything i try to do#just pick a fucking side i HATE it when people demonize me and then smother me back to back#like i dont want to sound this whiny but god i wish they'd miscarried me too???#man i sound like a total bitch rn lol idk i just want to leave#i can never seem to win#they dont let me express my exhaustion and anger and sadness and frustration and then they go ahead and wonder why this girl is#acting distant or passive agressive or why she keeps fracturing or bruising her knuckles or why she keeps biting her nails and#chewing on her lips and picking at her skin and just fucking lose it all the damn time#nothing i do is enough i just dont want to be here and i want to leave and take a break for a while but nooo that would make me#a family hater 🥴🥴#and i dont even hate them i just cant stand the way they treat me all the time#i get so confused one minute she's telling me how bad i am and telling me that im wrong and wrong and wrong and how i cant do this#or that or how she used to be so much better than i am now and whatever#and the next she and i are sitting in the kitchen laughing about some random thing#i HATE that. idc if that's oh a 'normal mother daughter relationship' and 'everyone experiences it' and how 'it will pass'#well it hasnt passes and it's been years and im tired of this back and forth and constantly being shamed and i want out. just. out.#and when i tried gathering the courage to tell them i wanted a therapist to talk to she was like ' oh that's expensive and you dont even#look like you need one but if you insist we can pay for it ☹️👉👈 it's okay we will work extra hard to get the money 😖'#fuck that#thanks for once again making me feel like utter shit for asking for some help. again.#which brings me to my next point which is why the FUCK do we have to pay 50 fucking euroes for an hour of therapy??#i can get all of the validation and grounding techniques off the internet for free why the fuck do we need to pay 50€ for talking??#and like mental health is so stigmatized still with my family and my closer friend's family that we both cant tell them anything about it#girlie got clinical depression and she doesnt want to tell her parents bc she knows how they will react#and we both spend nights cry laughing about the fact that i have scars all over me that my parents dont have a single fucking clue about
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bumbleblurr · 2 years
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idk I really can't see the decepticons as revolutionaries or anything when they literally call their leader a "lord" as if he wasn't their equal
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apathyfairy · 1 year
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i spent 3 months watching gilmore girls and i finally finished it and a year in the life and then netflix is like hmm what should we recommend... gilmore girls season 1 episode 1 is starting in 3 seconds
#against my better judgement i watched a year in the life again and it was so much worse the second time. i only watched it when it first#came out and then forgot everything that happened because it was so bad it didnt even have to be that bad but it was so bad.#like this might be an unpopular opinion but god whenever they reboot shows or do like a reunion the magic from the original is just gone#that came out wrong i dont mean the original show loses it's magic but that the reboot is missing the thing that made the original special#like ok spoilers and also unpopular opinions but there was just like no chemistry between any of the cast anymore IMO. imo dont come for me#i have no idea what the actors were doing or what they had to move around to make cameos or whatever but just imo alexis was like on another#planet i have no idea why rory was like that. it was just so. routine and expected ? like they were acting how we would expect them to act#but it was just so insincere? i guess is the word#like season 7 sucked and we all know it but god season 7 was better than a year in the life in retrospect#the ONLY good thing about a year in the life is emilys story like good for her finally living her own life and finding what she loves#that makes sense and that all adds up like love that for her.#im biased because ive been a jess girl since i was 8 but jess. fantastic. sucks that he's still in love with rory but hes doing great fine#lane deserved more than that that was bullshit that she was there for 5 minutes and sookie too like#from what i remember melissa mccarthy couldnt be in it or didnt want to or i dont know but i didnt like that they essentially made sookie#abandon jackson and her kids idk.#christopher i dont care about but PARIS deserved more as well#dont get me started on the wild plot omg.#but that's another thing that ruins the reboots is they just try to add such topical references and it just ages so badly imo#and anyway im just so confused. rory is still sleeping with logan but she has a boyfriend whose name she cant remember but also#she's having one night stands at comic con ?#all for the show to end with SPOILER her saying she's pregnant ?#? ? ?#?#ok.#like. they ruined her character a long time ago but they just completely gave up in this.#lorelai is lorelai i expected nothing else so it was boring i just. think this was the wrong show to do a reunion with i dont know.#i didnt watch it but i think the friends thing is the best way to go where they dont make new episodes but just bring the cast back together#like it was so much better with us all just imagining luke and lorelai got married and had another kid and rory went on to be a journalist#and that was that but here we are
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NOT AGAIN
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princessbrunette · 2 months
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⊹ . ⁺ 🍭🤍⋅˚₊𐙚
being sarah’s lil best friend who just won’t leave rafe alone.
you always see yourself into the house, which aggravates him as it means he has no control over the home he sees as his own, stepping up for ward. sarah hasn’t even made it out of her bedroom before you’ve barrelled into the kitchen in the tiniest shorts and a bikini top that might aswell not be there, throwing your arms around him as soon as he turns around.
“hiiiii rafe!” you practically pur, lashes batting and purposeful. he swore he could even feel you pushing yourself up against the shape between his thighs beneath his shorts.
“shouldnt you be with my sister?” he drawls in a deadpan, trying his best to ignore the way his body heats up. he peels you off his body and pushes his hair back.
“what i can’t say hi?” you coo, clasping your hands all faux innocent below your waist, the act of your arms coming inwards only forcing your tits to jostle together. he licks his lips subconsciously. jesus, rafe— control yourself. that’s your little sisters friend.
he doesn’t get to think of an answer because sarah comes swinging in, instantly wrapping a hand around your arm. “hey! there you are.” she directs her attention to rafe, a glare. “is my pervert brother bothering you?” she scowls and he throws his hands up in exasperation, knowing for once he actually didn’t do anything wrong.
“no, no. it’s okay.” you shake your head all shy, all victim-like and non-convincingly which only makes sarah shake her head in disgust at her brother, leading you up the stairs. he watches you go, and you peer over your shoulder — stifling a giggle as you bite down on your manicure. fucking menace.
he doesn’t like losing, or more specifically — losing control, so when you show up one day when sarah isn’t home, he feels like he has to escape you before he gives into his impulses.
“there you are, been lookin’ all over for you.” you chirp, sliding into the kitchen where he stands at the fridge. his eyes widen for a second, looking around for his sister.
“y—you know sarah’s not even home. wastin’ your time here ‘cos she’s off with that routledge kid.” he shakes his head, forcing nonchalance as he leans down to scan the inside of the fridge. you’re at his side before he blinks, nail grazing his thick, tanned arm as you all but pet him. he felt weak.
“cant i just hang out with you? why’s it always gotta be about sarah?” you pout, urging him to look your way. you’d really perfected your doe eyed pout since you’d last visited, and the angle you stood at gave him the perfect view down your top. it’s exactly why he grabbed an apple juice carton and turned away, meandering away from the fridge after closing it.
“well i’m not your friend, alright? go home.” he commands, but of course you follow.
“you’re playin’ hard to get.” you whine.
“you’re playing hard to get rid of.” he retorts and you giggle, catching up to him.
“play with me rafey.” you chime seductively, and the tone makes his cock jump. so much so that it irritates him, and as you reach to grab at him again, he snaps around to you, gripping your wrist.
“quit with the slut shit, alright? you’re my little sisters friend. know what that means? means you’re just a fucking kid.” his voice raises only a tad, but it’s enough to snap you out of your whole bravado— the act dropped as you stare up at him with wide eyes, shocked. he can see that you’re hurt and he lets go, the regret instantly settling in as he licks his lips thoughtfully, scratching his forehead.
“okay.” you barely whisper, rejected and damaged. he watches you for a moment, and as you move away to leave he speaks.
“sarah will probably be home soon she… she always comes back. so… just go hang in her room. you’re uh—welcome to stay, alright?” he raises his eyebrows, talking all slow and reassuring the same way you’d speak to a younger sibling to stop them from crying and snitching on you when you play too rough. that wasn’t much comfort to you.
you do as he says and stay there for the rest of the evening. you wake from your slumber when the door cracks open, late at night. you think it might be sarah, but you’re met with her big brother instead.
“sarah still not back?” he converses awkwardly, though the answer is clear. you shake your head, shy and bashful. this was where he wanted you. the control was back in his hands. he’d broken you down to make you feel like you couldn’t have him, and now he could take what he wanted.
he nods, slowly approaching the bed and he almost smirks at that hopeful look in your eyes.
“doin’ a bad thing, kid. you are aware of that, right?” he asks and you nod, your turn to look guilty. he scratches at his jaw, deep in thought as he eyes you over— cute little lacy cami and pyjama shorts that rode up far too high. shit, he could even see your nipples through the thin fabric of your top. was he meant to be the bad guy for not being able to resist this shit? “must think you’re a big girl… comin’ onto me like that earlier. hah…” he chuckles, almost nervously at what he’s about to do.
“just want you. s’not my fault.” you pout and he fixes his expression to a faux solemn frown, nodding like he was very serious.
“yeah, nah— can’t… can’t control what our bodies want, right?” he justifies and you nod before the two of you stare at eachother. his minds made up. “so ‘fuck you still staring at me for? take those shorts off… n’roll over. not dealin’ with the guilt of the shit you’re about to make me do in my sisters bed.”
⊹ . ⁺ 🍭🤍⋅˚₊𐙚
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kadwrites · 9 months
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an introduction | T.S
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previous part | next part
or check out the series masterlist
summary ; you meet your husband to be for the first time.
warnings ; angst, dysfunctional family ig? , arranged marriage trope. bad writing?
a/n ; is it good? is it bad? is it too long? who knows. thank you for the support <3 please let me know what you think!
_
you hadn't left your room for the past three days. celest would be there , feeding you, holding you as you cried.
tonight though, you couldn't sleep because the sounds of your siblings yelling is keeping you away from the slumber you very much needed.
"you did what?"
oliver's brows furrow, his very pregnant wife , renee , sits beside him, her eyes open wide and a hand on her belly.
his mother tries to act like she didn't feel the guilt clawing at her heart , she sips her tea, "it's about time she got a husband."
"mum , what were you thinking? what has gotten into you?" his voice isn't loud, it isn't his usual roar, which is what concerned his wife. she puts a hand on his shoulder "you're forcing 'er to marry thomas shelby? are you fucking insane? have you lost your bloody mind?"
"im not forcing her to do anything, she agreed."
"after ya slapped 'er."
celest lets out a chocked sob at the mention of that
his mother's eyes are stern when they look up at him, resenting the fact that he brought it up
"she's a wild girl, she raised her voice at me"
"what did you expect 'er to do?" he got up, and his wife desperately tries to calm him down "lay on 'er back and open 'er legs?"
"to obey her mother."
"the mother that treated 'er own daughter like a piece of meat?" his jaw clenched, his hands shake "how could you do that? you didn't even tell us anything."
abraham is pacing around. his girlfriend ,anna stands in the doorway, watching this unfold. what else was she supposed to do?, its not like she can do anything. celest is sitting on a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries. their father wasn't at home, he was out visiting his brother.
he's been avoiding this very incident like the plaque.
"when did this even 'appen?" abraham walks and stands next to oliver, both of them staring at their mother, his voice trembles as he tries to hold back whatever he had to say.
"why does it matter?" their mother slams the teacup on the table "it's already happened. what good is it going to do if we keep talking about it?"
"how long 'ave you been plottin' at this?" oliver's voice gets louder, his wife tries to get up but cant, abraham grabs his shoulder instead. "are you that desperate for money?"
"i did it-"
"for 'er ? securing 'er a future, yeah? is that what you tell yourself?" celest finally speaks, her face glistening with tears as she stands up
celest was always her mother's daughter. being the eldest, she always aimed to please her but when this happened, she couldn't even stand to look at her mother. she knew their mother was looking for a suitor ,she tried to reason with her, telling her how her younger sister would never agree, that she'll just yell and maybe even try to run away. celest never knew that the suitor her mother had in mind was thomas shelby, she never knew that he'd already agreed to all of this.
their mother's eyes move to celest, renee and anna share a look , and anna stands with her mouth covered. "this is not going to end well." ,they both think.
"what?"
"i said is that what you think you're doing? that you're doing whats best for 'er?" celest repeats "when you and i and everyone in this room knows who thomas shelby is, we know what he does, we know how he lives"
"he will take care of her." she raises her voice as well
"mother...." abraham warns, with his eyes closed. he knows the words she will say next would just anger everyone further
"i dont want her to end up like you! with a man that has you living in a piss poor excuse of a house, running after his spawn." her mother spits those words out like venom.
"i love 'im, i chose 'im, and i never ever regretted that decision, i never once complained,i never doubted his love or loyalty" celest walks closer "i will live a good life with a man who is good to me, an honest man. would she say the same about the husband you chose for 'er?"
"she will love him! she will grow to love him" she yells those words, as if she desperately wants them to be true.
celest lets out a chuckle , looking at her mother as if she was insane "do you not hear yourself? do you not hear how you sound?" then she moves even closer,"you're ruining 'er life!" celest cried, her screams sound through the whole house, abraham is now holding her back, as she squirms and thrashes "is this what you fucking want ? for your own child to live a miserable life?"
oliver left the living room at some point and he was inside your room now, somehow.
he crouched at the side of the bed, where you're laying on your stomach, cheek against the pillow and covers tucked up to your neck.
"i..." he tries to speak, he lets out a breath "i didn't know" he felt guilty for some reason, as if he could've stopped this.
"i know"
"you don't 'ave to say yes" he puts a hand on your head smoothing down your hair. oliver was never the one for affection, always awkward with it. "you don't. you can say no"
"i cant" you whisper back to him, your eyes look at him and they are once again filled with tears, your lips quiver
"yes you can"
"no i can't" you let out a sob "and you know that."
he just looks back at you, keeps on smoothing down your hair
"its not your responsibility to save them."
"it is now"
and he knew he couldn't change your mind, "she says he's comin' by tomorrow ,to see you."
silence ensues. you two just stare at each-other not knowing what to say
for the first time in his life, oliver the man with the biggest mouth, the loudest voice, the one who always fought you over that one spot on the table, doesn't know what to say. he has nothing to say.
he slowly gets up, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him gently.
and when that dreaded morning comes, you find yourself on your vanity chair, looking at your reflection in the mirror, your face still almost emotionless
celest stands behind you, brushing your hair,she's crying silently, and you just stare at the mirror
you knew that those steps belonged to your mother, you'd memorized how they sounded when you were a child , when you pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't know you'd stayed awake past your bedtime. she walks and stands next to celest, you don't look at her, you just stare at yourself.
celest puts the brush on the table and she walks away, she walks to the window, trying to calm down. your mother picks up the brush.
"i know you think im cruel, and that i'm selfish. but i did it for your sake." she speaks
this is the first time you'd even seen her since it all happened
your eyes dart up to her, she doesn't look at you, she just looks down at your hair as she brushes it.
"when your father got sick, i never thought we'd lose the farm too, we lost the very thing that gave us most of our money." she pauses for a second "i know this isnt how you wanted to get married, it was not an easy decision for me either"
"i don't love 'im" your voice is soft, its not angry
"love isn't everything, you don't need it to be content" she continues "i didn't love your father when i married him , but love follows"
"he is nothing like my dad"
your mother stops again "he's a hardworking man, he was in the war , wasn't he? just like yer father."
"my father was a farmer," she muttered "that's what you loved about 'im, what you've come to love. that he is a good man but the man you're marrying me off to isn't"
you sound like celest.
your words cut deeper than you thought they would, your mothers eyes close, she sighs "you're my youngest child and i want you to live a good life when me and your father are no longer here .a safe life. i dont want you to need a roof over your head or worry about money or food"
you don't want to argue , so you don't. you just let her brush your hair and neatly style it. she brings a box and opens it, inside it a golden necklace with a ruby as a pendant, she puts it on you, she smiles at your reflection
"i wore it when i married your father", maybe it will bless your marriage too, your mother thinks to herself.
you don't say anything, you just do what you're told. you were too tired to fight this anyways. you just wanted this day to pass
and then you hear it, your brother's voice as he greets him, despite his anger your oliver sounds polite. their voices are muffled but you hear them.
you mother walks you down the stairs and when you descend you see him, on the green sofa , talking to your father and your brothers and as if he could sense your presence his eyes dart up the stairs and he sees you.
you feel as if the whole house ran out of air, and as if your lung collapsed. you look back at him nonetheless as you walk down the stairs.
it feels as if their voices are distant as your family greets him, very welcoming and warm they sound but you can't process a word. you just look at him. you think you mumbled a greeting too, you're not sure.
he got up when you entered the living room, he looks you up and down but only for an instant and then his eyes go back to yours. you cannot see any emotion on his face.
you sister stands at your side, renee on the other, they sit with you between them on the couch facing him, the rest of your family scattered around the room but you didn't look at them, too busy looking at the man you'll marry. it's almost as if you can visibly see the blood on his hands.
but when he speaks , you snap back into reality out of your trance
"its a pleasure to finally meet you."
his voice is deep, calm and collected. for some reason it sends a chill down your spine
"the pleasure is mine" you say back, as politely as you could.
slowly, person by person, your family leaves the room
you glance at the window, your brothers and father are outside smoking, pretending to not watch. celest, renee and anna are under the foyer.
your mother and mrs gray are in the kitchen, having tea, when did she come in here?, you didn't even notice her.
you lean back against the sofa, you stare at him just like he stares at you
"mind if i smoke?" he already has his cigarette between his lips , he pulls out his lighter
"no" you say curtly , you sit on the sofa in the most expensive dress you own, your newest heels,
he offers you a cigarette, you eye it. you hadn't smoked since your parents caught you smoking on the roof but they've disappointed you, so what if you disappoint them one more time
you pull a cigarette out, he passes you the light and you light it, then putting it out
he leans back as well, crossing his legs
"are you good with children? can you care for them?"
you nod, your cigarette hangs between your fingers"i 'ave one nephew and 4 nieces, one on the way too"
"i 'ave a boy"
his eyes give nothing away no matter how long you stared at him , looking for a crack in the mask
"what's his name?" you ask softly
"charles"
"how old is he?"
"four, he's turning five soon"
"is that why you're looking for a wife? to look after your son?"
"thats a part of it, yes" he exhales the smoke, he throws an arm around the back of the sofa
"what's the other part?"
"i need a wife and i want someone i can trust around my boy when im not around"
you nod , your eyes look away for the first time.
"do you feel like you can do that?"
you turn back to look at him
"i believe so , yes"
he nods, "are you being forced into this?" he's blunt. it doesn't take a genius to know that you're not happy, that you're reluctant.
"no, i'm not"
"i don't want to marry you if you're unwilling"
"i said i'm not ,didn't i?" you tried to hold back your tongue, but you couldn't
his brow raises at this ,"you don't exactly look like you're content with your decision"
"is this an interrogation?" you ask, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray that sits on the table. partly because the taste of it made you nauseous, having not had one in years. the other part annoyed and defensive
"i believe its called an introduction" a his face is still stoic, but his voice is betraying him, it's sounds as though he's amused.
you look up, you hate to admit it but you can't deny it. he looks handsome, in his expensive suit, his glasses, his cheek bones. celest was right, at least he is easy on the eyes
"an introduction, aye?"
"hmm"
you just look at eachother, you blink a couple of times, then lean back again.
"its my decision, mr shelby." you try to compose yourself, "it wasn't forced on me,"
he nods again,
"do you 'ave any conditions?"
"i do..." you lick your lips nervously "my father, he's sick"
"i will take care of his medical expenses" he nods before you could finish that sentence
"it would be nice if i could finish my own fucking sentences"
he lets out a dry chuckle, and you take it as a sign to continue
"he's never been properly checked , we don't know what exactly is wrong with 'im" you sigh "my only condition is that 'im and my mother would be looked after, financially and medically."
"they will be"
"i want it in writing" you hesitate but then say it anyways , you don't know if you can trust him, you don't care if you offend him.
he looks at you, his eye travel between yours "alright"
you let out a breath you didn't know you've been holding
-
@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator
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leviathanspain · 1 year
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his embrace
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finnick odair x reader
synopsis: finnick odair, capitol sweetheart and the thorn in your side
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standing on the plate, you nearly broke your neck looking for him. frantically you looked, your eyes straining to see across the water, it was no use as the timer went off, and you had forced yourself to dive into the water.
your lungs felt like the could burst, but you ran towards the cornucopia, lifting yourself just over the edge only to be pulled back into the water. a career tribute was on you, you could tell as you fought him in the water. but you were losing, as you weren’t able to catch your breathe before you had been pulled back in.
only did the sight of a knife though the career’s chest did you feel some relief. someone had saved you. your body relaxed slightly, and your chest stopped trying to fight for the oxygen, and your eyes closed, your body feeling heavy as you passed out.
the buzzing of arguing flooded your ears. water had them plugged, and as you sat up, coughing up water, you heard the arguments cease, as other tributes rushed to your aid.
finnick was the first you saw, and he grabbed your shoulder, patting your back as you tried to spit out all the water.
you took a good inhale of the air and realized that you were deep in the jungle. along with finnick was katniss and peeta.
without saying anything, you embraced finnick. finnick laughed, hugging you tightly.
you pulled back and kissed him, “i thought i was dead. no one this pretty would be in my version of the afterlife.”
finnick laughed, “you wound me, darling.”
katniss and peeta shared a look, but stayed silent. suddenly the reasonings for why finnick had argued with them to keep you alive was now ever so obvious.
you looked at them, almost forgetting they were there. “katniss, peeta. normally my greeting wouldn’t be so half assed but, then again i’m not normally fighting for my life.” you offered a smile and only peeta gave back a weak one.
days and events had passed by you, and you were getting more and more irritated with your situation. you didn’t think that you would end up arguing with finnick over your safety, after offering to head into the jungle for some wood to build a fire.
“i can do it, finnick.” you rolled your eyes, hoping that he would relent as he usually did. but he wasn’t going to this time, especially with such danger all around.
“no. i alreayd lost mags, i cant lose you.”he shook his head, and you rolled your eyes, “finnick, do i have to remind you that i’m not entirely defenseless? i won my games too.”
but finnick wasn’t budging, and instead he pulled you back towards katniss and peeta, “i said no. im not letting you go in there.”
“if you’re jealous that i’m the one with a cool nickname just say so, don’t start acting like some sort of keeper.” you grabbed one of the knifes he had lying around on the beach and moved into the jungle, “don’t wait up.” you called.
finnick had followed you in, but you had mastered silent footsteps, and you were hard to track.
as you ventured deeper into the jungle, you felt regret in your stomach as you thought about finnick. you had disregarded his comment about mags, and you felt like an asshole.
you stopped, and thought about going back. but you had already left, and you couldn’t go back empty handed. but the screams are what sent you into a run. his screams, your name in the screams had you screaming back.
“y/n! help me!” his voice was on your ears and you ran, “finnick? finnick where are you?” as you tried to run back to camp, you heard birds wings flapping, and you realized that it was jabberjays, and as you swung your knife around to get them to stop, all you could do was listen to the rest of his screams, his mixed in with your families screams.
finnick had heard you scream, and realized he was a lot closer than he thought. you were crying, sobs recognizable as he ran, seeing you cursed up in a ball with a group of birds flying over you.
he realized as your screams intensified what they were. he pulled you up to your feet and practically picked you up, running with you back to the beach.
as he ran, you clutched onto him, crying and muttering apologies, he set you down just a few feet away from katniss and peeta, “stop. it’s not your fault. it’s okay, see? im fine, i’m right here baby.” he kissed you, and finally you calmed down, nodding as tears fell from your eyes.
“oh, finn.” you hugged him, “that was so stupid. im sorry, i promise i won’t do that again. i won’t leave you again, finnick.” you reassured, and hugged him, just as katniss and peeta neared the two of you, questions about your well-being buzzed in your ears.
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nyx-is-missing · 4 months
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Hi! Can I request a Clarissa × Fem!reader, where reader is spending a lot of time talking to someone from Athena's cabin and she gets jealous. you can decide what cabin reader is in :)
Jealous jealous girl
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Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (apollo's kid)
Summary: when the girl she likes is being friendly to someone, Clarisse might see red.
Warnings: no major fights actually, fluff (a bit) kissing (yes today no clickbait) medíocre writting and im sorry.
(I didn't review it, don't sue me, English isn't my native language, that's probably why it's mediocre, love ya
"Have you actually read that book? Oh my gods really? I felt like i was the only one who knew it"
Clarisse watched with red eyes as (Y/n) got excited and laughed togheter with some kid from Athena's cabin.
They werent exactly...togheter yet, but they WERE something, everyone was sure of that.
Clarisse mind couldnt comprehend then, how even though EVERYONE knew they had something, that particular girl would not back off of her.
(Y/n) laughed togheter with the girl at some book reference she had made, and the final straw for Clarisse was when the girl had the courage to touch her girl's knee.
Her sunshine?
The disrespect, was she not seeing Clarrise looking at them? Like 10 steps behind?
The.disrespect.
Oh that will end right now.
Walking over to the girls with a fake smile who people would perceive of normal happiness, however, if you did knew her, her eyes had a hint of red rage in them.
"Love? Would you come with me for a second yes?"
She took (Y/n) by the hands but before she could even get up the Athena kid made herself seen.
"Excuse me? Cant you see we're talking? So rude."
"Oh yes, excuse you really, i dont think a need a cue to talk to my girlfriend, now shut up before I make you eat that book for dinner."
Not waiting for any more words Clarisse took reader by the hand again.
"Clarisse that was not nice, she was my friend- dont even start to speak right now, we'll talk in my cabin, it must be empity right now, we dont need the camp seeing something they dont need"
Letting (Y/n) guide her, still holding her hand, Clarisse had a confused look on her face.
"But we are not going to fight, not today"
"Says who?"
They got inside the cabin and bingo, empity empity, all the Apollo kids must be doing its activities, or getting ready for dinner, as always.
"Me, Love. We wont fight, we'll talk."
Clarisse sat down at the bed she knew it was (y/n)'s waiting for her to do the same.
Choosing to stand, she had a blank look on her face.
"You said we would talk, talk to me, why be mean to my friend clari?"
"Because im jealous. Im not made of steel, love, i cant see a girl from a rival cabin flirting with my sunshine and go around skipping like a kid, you know me"
"We were not flirting clari, she is my friend!"
"YOU were not flirting, she wants to be more than that"
Clarisse corrected
"And you have a right to do something about it since when? Everytime you talk about me to your friends im a friend too, but suddently when its convenient i turn into your girlfriend? Oh please"
Clarisse looked at her, and extended her hands to grab (y/n) hands, when they finally touched Clarisse got (y/n) to get closer and closer to her, now she was standing in between Clarisse's legs and had to look down to see her.
"I never said i was right love, im sorry for hurting you, i swear.....i was insecure about that, im so sorry really..."
"Clari you dont needed to-"
"Date me"
Clarisse interrupted her mid speech.
"What?"
"Date me, let me introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend, i wont make you hurt anymore, date me....-"
Please
That was the word missing, would it make clarisse apear as desperate if she used it?
Fuck it, she was inside the Apollo cabin, that gave her enough poetic justice to be as luvestruck as she could
She found herself resting her hands on (y/n) hips, looking up to her with heart eyes.
"Please... date me"
.
.
.
"Say something, please"
Whoever first said that acts spoke words was very much right, because the kiss Clarisse received was nothing short of a love letter.
Clarisse felt hands on her cheek and neck, caressing her.
The kiss was slow and carefull at first, like the first time they kissed, so very sweet, until it wasn't.
When the kiss deepened, Clarisse's hands sunk more onto (y/n) hips, and then started to pull her down, to sit on her lap.
It was the very first time both felt like this, the absolute need to just become a fusion, hug so tightly a loved one that they would just morph into one.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you"
Clarisse said, breathing in her girlfriend's neck when they separated to breath.
When (y/n) was going to speak, she felt a small bite on her lower neck.
"Clarisse- ah"
"Sorry.."
Clarissed giggled before she went back kissing her mouth, when did she became one of the girls that giggled?
They heard the cabin door opening and then a
"Oh fuck sorry i just...ill come back later, and you (y/n) will tell me everything about later or ill change my name, bye lovebirds"
They looked at each other resisting the urge to laugh.
"Well i guess we wont need to introduce ourselfs to anybody, by tomorrow morning they'll know"
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