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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 months

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The specific process by which Google enshittified its search

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

All digital businesses have the technical capacity to enshittify: the ability to change the underlying functions of the business from moment to moment and user to user, allowing for the rapid transfer of value between business customers, end users and shareholders:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

Which raises an important question: why do companies enshittify at a specific moment, after refraining from enshittifying before? After all, a company always has the potential to benefit by treating its business customers and end users worse, by giving them a worse deal. If you charge more for your product and pay your suppliers less, that leaves more money on the table for your investors.

Of course, it's not that simple. While cheating, price-gouging, and degrading your product can produce gains, these tactics also threaten losses. You might lose customers to a rival, or get punished by a regulator, or face mass resignations from your employees who really believe in your product.

Companies choose not to enshittify their products…until they choose to do so. One theory to explain this is that companies are engaged in a process of continuous assessment, gathering data about their competitive risks, their regulators' mettle, their employees' boldness. When these assessments indicate that the conditions are favorable to enshittification, the CEO walks over to the big "enshittification" lever on the wall and yanks it all the way to MAX.

Some companies have certainly done this – and paid the price. Think of Myspace or Yahoo: companies that made themselves worse by reducing quality and gouging on price (be it measured in dollars or attention – that is, ads) before sinking into obscure senescence. These companies made a bet that they could get richer while getting worse, and they were wrong, and they lost out.

But this model doesn't explain the Great Enshittening, in which all the tech companies are enshittifying at the same time. Maybe all these companies are subscribing to the same business newsletter (or, more likely, buying advice from the same management consultancy) (cough McKinsey cough) that is a kind of industry-wide starter pistol for enshittification.

I think it's something else. I think the main job of a CEO is to show up for work every morning and yank on the enshittification lever as hard as you can, in hopes that you can eke out some incremental gains in your company's cost-basis and/or income by shifting value away from your suppliers and customers to yourself.

We get good digital services when the enshittification lever doesn't budge – when it is constrained: by competition, by regulation, by interoperable mods and hacks that undo enshittification (like alternative clients and ad-blockers) and by workers who have bargaining power thanks to a tight labor market or a powerful union:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

When Google ordered its staff to build a secret Chinese search engine that would censor search results and rat out dissidents to the Chinese secret police, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly_(search_engine)

When Google tried to win a US government contract to build AI for drones used to target and murder civilians far from the battlefield, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/01/technology/google-pentagon-project-maven.html

What's happened since – what's behind all the tech companies enshittifying all at once – is that tech worker power has been smashed, especially at Google, where 12,000 workers were fired just months after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years. Likewise, competition has receded from tech bosses' worries, thanks to lax antitrust enforcement that saw most credible competitors merged into behemoths, or neutralized with predatory pricing schemes. Lax enforcement of other policies – privacy, labor and consumer protection – loosened up the enshittification lever even more. And the expansion of IP rights, which criminalize most kinds of reverse engineering and aftermarket modification, means that interoperability no longer applies friction to the enshittification lever.

Now that every tech boss has an enshittification lever that moves very freely, they can show up for work, yank the enshittification lever, and it goes all the way to MAX. When googlers protested the company's complicity in the genocide in Gaza, Google didn't kill the project – it mass-fired the workers:

https://medium.com/@notechforapartheid/statement-from-google-workers-with-the-no-tech-for-apartheid-campaign-on-googles-indiscriminate-28ba4c9b7ce8

Enshittification is a macroeconomic phenomenon, determined by the regulatory environment for competition, privacy, labor, consumer protection and IP. But enshittification is also a microeconomic phenomenon, the result of innumerable boardroom and product-planning fights within companies in which would-be enshittifiers try to do things that make the company's products and services shittier wrestle with rivals who want to keep things as they are, or make them better, whether out of principle or fear of the consequences.

Those microeconomic wrestling-matches are where we find enshittification's heroes and villains – the people who fight for the user or stand up for a fair deal, versus the people who want to cheat and wreck to make things better for the company and win bonuses and promotions for themselves:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

These microeconomic struggles are usually obscure, because companies are secretive institutions and our glimpses into their deliberations are normally limited to the odd leaked memo, whistleblower tell-all, or spectacular worker revolt. But when a company gets dragged into court, a new window opens into the company's internal operations. That's especially true when the plaintiff is the US government.

Which brings me back to Google, the poster-child for enshittification, a company that revolutionized the internet a quarter of a century ago with a search-engine that was so good that it felt like magic, which has decayed so badly and so rapidly that whole sections of the internet are disappearing from view for the 90% of users who rely on the search engine as their gateway to the internet.

Google is being sued by the DOJ's Antitrust Division, and that means we are getting a very deep look into the company, as its internal emails and memos come to light:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

Google is a tech company, and tech companies have literary cultures – they run on email and other forms of written communication, even for casual speech, which is more likely to take place in a chat program than at a water-cooler. This means that tech companies have giant databases full of confessions to every crime they've ever committed:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

Large pieces of Google's database-of-crimes are now on display – so much, in fact, that it's hard for anyone to parse through it all and understand what it means. But some people are trying, and coming up with gold. One of those successful prospectors is Ed Zitron, who has produced a staggering account of the precise moment at which Google search tipped over into enshittification, which names the executives at the very heart of the rot:

https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-men-who-killed-google/

Zitron tells the story of a boardroom struggle over search quality, in which Ben Gomes – a long-tenured googler who helped define the company during its best years – lost a fight with Prabhakar Raghavan, a computer scientist turned manager whose tactic for increasing the number of search queries (and thus the number of ads the company could show to searchers) was to decrease the quality of search. That way, searchers would have to spend more time on Google before they found what they were looking for.

Zitron contrasts the background of these two figures. Gomes, the hero, worked at Google for 19 years, solving fantastically hard technical scaling problems and eventually becoming the company's "search czar." Raghavan, the villain, "failed upwards" through his career, including a stint as Yahoo's head of search from 2005-12, a presiding over the collapse of Yahoo's search business. Under Raghavan's leadership, Yahoo's search market-share fell from 30.4% to 14%, and in the end, Yahoo jettisoned its search altogether and replaced it with Bing.

For Zitron, the memos show how Raghavan engineered the ouster of Gomes, with help from the company CEO, the ex-McKinseyite Sundar Pichai. It was a triumph for enshittification, a deliberate decision to make the product worse in order to make it more profitable, under the (correct) belief that the company's exclusivity deals to provide search everywhere from Iphones and Samsungs to Mozilla would mean that the business would face no consequences for doing so.

It a picture of a company that isn't just too big to fail – it's (as FTC Chair Lina Khan put it on The Daily Show) too big to care:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

Zitron's done excellent sleuthing through the court exhibits here, and his writeup is incandescently brilliant. But there's one point I quibble with him on. Zitron writes that "It’s because the people running the tech industry are no longer those that built it."

I think that gets it backwards. I think that there were always enshittifiers in the C-suites of these companies. When Page and Brin brought in the war criminal Eric Schmidt to run the company, he surely started every day with a ritual, ferocious tug at that enshittification lever. The difference wasn't who was in the C-suite – the difference was how freely the lever moved.

On Saturday, I wrote:

The platforms used to treat us well and now treat us badly. That's not because they were setting a patient trap, luring us in with good treatment in the expectation of locking us in and turning on us. Tech bosses do not have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/22/kargo-kult-kaptialism/#dont-buy-it

Someone on Hacker News called that "silly," adding that "tech bosses do in fact have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years. That's literally the business model of most startups":

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40114339

That's not quite right, though. The business-model of the startup is to yank on the enshittification lever every day. Tech bosses don't lie in wait for the perfect moment to claw away all the value from their employees, users, business customers, and suppliers – they're always trying to get that value. It's only when they become too big to care that they succeed. That's the definition of being too big to care.

In antitrust circles, they sometimes say that "the process is the punishment." No matter what happens to the DOJ's case against Google, its internal workers have been made visible to the public. The secrecy surrounding the Google trial when it was underway meant that a lot of this stuff flew under the radar when it first appeared. But as Zitron's work shows, there is plenty of treasure to be found in that trove of documents that is now permanently in the public domain.

When future scholars study the enshittocene, they will look to accounts like Zitron's to mark the turning points from the old, good internet to the enshitternet. Let's hope those future scholars have a new, good internet on which to publish their findings.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

#pluralistic #ed zitron #google #microincentives #constraints #enshittification #rot economy #platform decay #search #ben gomes #code yellow #mckinsey #hacking engagement #Prabhakar Raghavan #yahoo #doj #antitrust #trustbusting

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writing-mlm · 3 months

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Hiii, can we please have more college!damian x male reader? Like a scenario where damian loves to draw reader but reader doesn't know this? Maybe friends to lovers? Idk your pick. The artist and his muse type of thing. Also, i LIVE for soft damian on this blog ong.

Forever my Muse

Summary: Damian has his finals coming up and he wants you to join-- at least that's his excuse to get you into the art venue. An artist needs their muse and for some reason, most of Damian's drawings include you in, naturally, he could fill museums with drawings of you. Pairing: Damian Wayne x Male reader WC: 5.8k

Dust-covered fingers were always something you had associated with Damian. Graphite, charcoal, pastels— anything he used to draw or even paint would inevitably stain his hands. It wasn’t intentional, and neither were the fingerprints he left on your stuff, or the paint you could never remove from your favorite sweater, but that didn’t stop him from apologizing. From buying you cleaning products and a new sweater; never mind it has never been worn in the year you’ve had it, Damian felt terribly sorry whenever he felt he’d stained something of yours.

But never sorry enough to show you his drawings.

You’d ask, you’d beg, but he would never give in. He’d show you when he was done, sure. You’d see the finished still-life drawings of whatever object had been in the line of sight, the paintings he’d done of his pets whenever he missed them, and the random sketches he did to loosen his wrist. But, damn, sometimes you wanted to see an unfinished drawing that wasn’t a warm-up.

Even now, as the two of you are on the campus bus heading towards the music hall, he’s drawing. Sitting across from you on the bus, Damian easily adjusts himself to the movements of the bus as it jerks to a stop. He’s nice like that, you’ve never caught him off guard, he’s never fallen or stumbled in the time you’ve known him.

Studying him, you wonder if he’s naturally so agile. You’ve seen him in your dorm's gym, during all-nighters you can sometimes see him running around campus, and once you had caught him doing one of those athletic challenges for some guy's video. He won. Of course.

The bus comes to a complete stop and you look away, double-checking that it wasn’t your stop. It wasn’t. You knew that. But still. The need to check was far too great and you slipped back into a conversation with Damian. Only this time, you’re looking down at your phone to double-check the event and his eyes switch from staring at his sketch to staring at you.

His eyes flicker between you and his drawing, erasing and adding lines where needed. He catches your eyes traveling up and he looks back down, working from memory as you start up a new conversation.

Eventually, the bus reaches your stop and he carefully closes his book; he always worries he’d smudge his art, while he follows you out of the bus.

It’s the end of the semester, ergo, it’s finals week. And for one of your music finals, everyone was to prepare a song and perform it. Truthfully, Damian doesn’t understand why you’d picked him to accompany you. He knows he’s not the best comfort, his demeanor often being the reason people don’t stick around too long.

But, you reassured him. Telling him that his presence was more than enough for you. Knowing that he was somewhere in the crowd calms you down more than you ever cared to admit.

The walk to the music hall isn’t short, but you can see the large building in the distance. The size is daunting on you as you see the crowd forming at the entrance. People aren’t allowed inside yet, but performers and their guests can head inside before anyone else.

“I’m nervous,” You admit, wiping your hands on your shirt. “What if I fail?” You mutter, your eyes desperately searching to find solace in his green eyes.

“You’ll do as you’ve always done,” He nods, looking ahead as you approach the building. “Exceptionally.” His sketchbook bumps against your folder of sheet music and you sigh through your nose, trying to calm down.

“I’m so gonna choke,” Seeing your reflection in the glass, you feel as if you’d forgotten everything you learned. Every lesson, every mistake you fixed and learned from, the late-night practice performances with your friends. The song you’d composed nearly slips from your mind as you see yourself, walking in that suit and tie you’d worn several years ago. All of it left your mind and you felt like a beginner again. What even was a solfège?

“I'm trained in CPR.” He opens the door for you and gently encourages you inside, his fingers grazing your back. “You weren’t nearly as nervous for your accounting finals.” He notes, falling back into step with you.

That’s another thing. Maybe that’s why you were so stressed. Double majoring was hellish. Twice the finals, quadruple the headaches.

“Those were tests,” You scowl, showing the security your campus ID. “I’m going to be performing a live concert in front of nearly a thousand people. I cannot fuck this up, Damian. This is going to be posted for everyone to watch, too,” You ramble on.

“Which you’ve done before, no?” He presses the elevator button and your heart hammers. You swear you’re going to pass out. He notices, of course, he does, and digs in his bag to find the fidget cube he keeps in there.

“I have— thank you,” Taking the cube, he nods. “It’s just… I don’t know. Tests suck.” Rolling your thumb along the metal ball on one side of the cube, you stare at the numbers as they slowly tick down to the first floor.

“That’s true,” He steps inside the elevator and you follow suit. “But you’ve made it thus far, you can go further.” He squeezes your shoulder as the doors close. There’s a silence in the elevator as it goes up to the second floor where you see your teacher waiting at the door to the waiting room, talking to a pair of students.

“I can,” You affirm, dipping your head down as you smile.

“You will.”

—

You’re fifth in line to perform, watching a singer, dancer, another other pianist, and an opera singer go on before you go on did absolutely jack shit to help you. As you’re announced, you step onto the stage and try your best not to accept that there were thousands of eyes on you. Instead, you smile and wave as you walk across that large stage. Desperately looking for Damian in the sea of people.

He’s in the front, right in front of where you could see when you glance up from the piano, you find out as you’re standing next to the piano seat.

Damian’s eyes don’t leave yours, making eye contact with you as you fiddle with the buttons of your coat. He motions for you to stop and then does a breathe in breathe out motion with the same hand. Nodding, you blink away from him and hold your hands behind your back. Focusing on your breathing, you listen to the teacher as you’re done being introduced.

The applause settles as you bow in, take a seat, and flip the page where your music sheet is. Slowly, you start. As a general music major, you weren’t restricted to just playing the piano. As emphasized by the microphone taped to your cheek.

You aren’t the strongest singer by any means, you’re good for singing in the shower or on drives but you doubt you’d actually make a career off of your voice. What you hope will carry you is the piano, as you press each key your eyes flicker to Damian. He’s attentive, a smile on his face as you perform.

Testing the waters, you glance at the people around him and they seem… pleased. Happy. Moved, even. You grin and return to staring at the sheet music. All of the notes flood back to you as you reach the last bit of the song, your eyes closing as your voice reaches a peak, holding a note. Then it’s just the piano, your voice echoing in everyone’s mind as the notes get slower and slower until you end it.

Applause fills the hall and you stand up, taking a bow. Standing there, even if only for a moment, you can’t imagine why you’d been so nervous.

Collecting your sheet music, you exit the stage and hand the mic to the stage tech before leaving.

When you’re nearing the exit, you spot Damian holding a bouquet of flowers.

“When did you have the time to get these?” You laugh as he hands them to you. His eyes merely twinkle, refusing to give up one of his many secrets. “Thank you, they’re dope.”

“You did it,” Damian reminds you as the two of you exit the building.

“I did! Ugh!” Grabbing his shoulder with your free hand, you give him a little shake. “Thank you so much, you’re honestly the best. Was it good?” Falling into step with him, Damian doesn’t bother to fix his shirt. It’s hardly even moved, but you know he was detail-oriented in stuff like that. Hell, he hates it when he messes with his clothes.

“It was mesmerizing.” He promises. “I do believe the woman behind me was crying.” Grinning, you stand at the bus stop, suddenly buzzing with excitement. Wanting to do it again, you start to imagine creating your own side business. Wedding musician, you can see it now.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” He avoids looking at you as he’s speaking. A rare occurrence on his part. But he does his best to look at you after building the courage. “I have an art showing next week. I understand the notice is short and you’re—“

“Send me the details.” You grin. His shoulders drop and he nods, clearly more relaxed. “I hope the attire is fancy. I got this fancy turtleneck I’ve been wanting to wear and slacks from my high school graduation just waiting to be worn!”

—

With all of your finals out of the way, you finally had time to start removing the items from your dorm. One by one you removed posters and trinkets scattered across your end of the room. Pack your clothes into boxes, and save for enough outfits to get you through your two weeks left on campus.

Damian was held up from finishing his art showing, unable to see you in person but he was more than happy with a Facetime call. With both your laptops placed in a space away from disturbing you, the two of you worked on your tasks.

“I do need to be at the showing two hours early,” He tells you as you’re dragging the anti-suicide chairs to the closet, trying to see the top shelf. “But I’ll have arrangements to bring you to the venue.”

“And my outfit is okay?” You ask, the chair wobbling as you stand on it. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. But hey, you’re not the one who installed a closet tall enough that only Shaq could see the top. “Because I can always swap out the turtle neck for a green button down— the silk one that Maddison made,” Always gave a fashion designer friend. She had used you as a model for of her projects a couple of months ago and with your measurements being unique to you, let you have it after she’d gotten her grade.

“The button-down would be better suited,” He nods, leaning close to his painting before adding a tiny stroke. “The turtleneck is a little… on the nose.” Leaning back, he checks his reference picture before frowning. It goes away quickly as he picks up a bit of white and dabs it onto a dry brush.

“I was afraid it was,” You laugh, grabbing a first aid kit from the shelf. Listening to him lightly brush the paint over the canvas, you toss the kit onto the bed and grab what little items are scattered up there. “Holy shit! Do you remember when that frat dude lost his frat ring?”

“Unfortunately,” Damian glances at his screen, watching as you haphazardly get down from the chair. Nearly tripping, he wonders how you've made it this far in life without breaking a bone.

“I think I did take it! Look!” Showing the screen, Damian looks almost impressed as you hold up a fraternity ring. It’s a shiny gold, likely fake but engraved with the initials of the Frat house. The two of you remember the guy had been going around to every single campus building with a missing ring poster.

“What a thief,” He chides, setting his brush down and taking a physical step back from the painting. Harsh glares scan over brush strokes, ripping apart his painting bit by bit before he nods to himself. His glare morphs into a soft sort of gaze and he signs the back of it.

“Is that your final painting for the semester?” You ask, the ring forgotten about as it’s tossed in a box of trinkets and you’ve moved on to ordering food. Probably Panda Express. Or maybe Chipotle…. really it’s whatever is closer and cheaper.

“Hopefully,” He sighs through his nose, his paint box clicking shut. “I’ve been drawing and painting these past couple of days. My canvases take up an entire section of the art studio. I’m sure my professor cannot wait for them to dry and get glossed. Which I should probably start doing.”

“How does that taste?” Setting your phone down, Damian’s face goes sour as he looks at you. “Personally, I think the gloss would taste tarty.” You add. “Or maybe like the frosting for Toaster Strudel.” Picking your phone back up, you continue your order.

“Neither is correct.” He blinks. “It’s a toxin and filled with chemicals, it most likely tastes as good as acetone does, Hab—“ He pauses, and you look at him wondering what the issue is. “Habits of tasting chemicals shouldn’t be one you pick up.” He finishes his sentence with a bit of force.

“I just love chemicals. Violin resin is my favorite.” Making a chomping noise Damian huffs. As you’re finishing up your order, you look at him. He’s halfway across campus and judging by the rack of canvases he wheeled over, he won’t be back until well into the night. Eh, it doesn’t hurt to ask. “I’m ordering some food, do you want something?”

“No, thank you, though.” He shakes his head. “I have food from the court in case I get hungry.” He quickly adds. Humming, you place the order and scan over your room. The only things that need to get packed are things you’re still using. Now it’s just a matter of organizing the boxes and bins so you can still move around your room.

“After the glossing, what’re you doing?”

“I have to write short summaries for each painting. No less than one hundred words,” He explains as he’s putting on a pair of latex gloves.

“So, a breeze?” He laughs and nods.

“I’m afraid I’ll go over the word limit,” He admits, sparing you a glance as you’re lugging a box to a corner of your room. “My paintings harbor a lot of my emotions and they’re far from short.”

“Real as fuck.”

—

On the day of his art exhibition, you spend extra time in the bathroom. Making sure your hair is neat, and presentable, fixing your outfit, making sure you don’t stink. Anything and everything you could check over, you did.

This nervous feeling was different from your pre-show nerves. Especially since you don’t even know why you’re nervous. Probably because you’d never actually gotten to see his paintings, at least the ones he was showing. He’d been ultra allusive about those, citing the exhibition would be the best place to view them. But even he was nervous and that’s a lot considering he’s Damian fucking Wayne.

He texted you two minutes ago saying that the car was going to arrive within the next ten minutes and you rushed out to the front of the dorms. No need to lock the door behind you, since your roommate was busy sleeping and would stay in there until you came back. Plucking at your shirt, you watch a sleek black car pull up in front of you, and Damian texts you that the car is there.

The ride is long, far too long for your liking anyway. But considering it’s in the middle of the city, it’s not unwarranted.

The art… museum? What should you call it? The space where the exhibition was being held was a well-known art gallery— that’s the word! The gallery was well respected, talked about within art circles, and incredibly high-brow. Thank fuck you didn’t go with that turtleneck.

There’s a woman in front of the gallery, greeting everyone who enters. She sees you and there’s a flash of recognition across her face.

“It’s great to finally meet Damian’s muse,” She smiles as she shakes your hand.

“His what?” You ask but Damian pulls you inside.

“How was the ride?” He asks, his eyes darting between his professor and you.

“Good but what did she mean?” You ask, looking around to see the other people around. Like your performance, it was open to the public and with Bruce Wayne’s son being in attendance, many people had showed up. Including his family. “Bruce Wayne is here?” Your head whips to Damian as you spot him in the crowd.

“He is my father…” He trails. “Would you like to meet him?”

“Fuck no!” You gasp. “The knowledge of his wealth is burying me as we speak— but this is about you,” Turning to him, you smile. “Where’s your paintings? Those don’t look like your style,” Eyes flicker across the paintings and you can’t see Damian’s strokes, his colors or his lighting in any of them. A sort of pride swells within him, knowing that you’ve looked— studied his art enough to know that the ones around you weren’t his.

“It has its own section,” He tells you, guiding you through groups of people and halls. “It’s going to be revealed in around half an hour. My professor insisted,” He stops at a section of the gallery covered by a curtain and two security guards. You never knew it was that serious, but damn.

“Mr Fancy. Why don’t you catch up with your family? I’ll look around?” In truth, you were going to the nearest bathroom and making sure you didn't look stupid.

“I’m more than certain they’d be more pleased if you accompanied me.” He shakes his head as you raise your eyebrows. “If that’s something you’d be comfortable with, of course.”

“Sure,” Once more, he guides you past people until he spots his father and brother talking in a corner.

“Father, Richard.” He calls as the two of you approach. “This is (Y/n).” Richard’s lips twitch as he fights back a smile, the smile only furthered curbed by his brother's glare.

“Hello,” Waving at the two men, they reach to shake your hand instead. Bruce has a firm grip, probably tighter than it really needed to be but Richard is more than welcoming. He’s more than excited to meet you, although you can’t imagine why.

“My other siblings are still in Gotham,” Damian explains, physically taking Dick’s hand from yours with a pointed look. “Although I’m surprised you didn’t bring Cassandra, father.”

“She’s here,” He shakes his head, glancing around for the mop of black hair. “In the bathroom, probably.”

“Is that her?” You ask, looking at the woman in the corner. She’s standing there, downing a glass of champagne before returning to a conversation with a man. She looks like how Damian had described her, although he downplayed how intimidating she seemed.

“Oh boy,” Dick huffs. “Let me go help her,” Excusing himself, you’re left with Damian and his father. The two of them talking with their eyes.

“So, Damian’s told me you’re a double major,” Bruce breaks the silence and their weird eye conversation. He talks about you? Glancing at Damian, he’s making a point to look anywhere but you. That’s sorta cute— totally not in a romantic way, totally.

“I am,” You nod, wishing a man with drinks would walk past you. “Accounting and a performing arts major.” He hums and there’s another beat of awkward silence.

“From what he tells me, you’re excelling at both. That’s incredibly hard. Do you have any job prospects lined up for when you graduate?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Not yet,” You admit, picking at your hands. “Since I'm not sure where I’d like to settle after I graduate it’s difficult finding places.” Bruce nods, quickly making sure Dick and Cassandra are okay.

“Well, if your grades continue to stay or improve, Wayne Enterprises is always looking for accountants, especially one so esteemed.” He smiles at you, that sort of small smile that makes you feel more relaxed in his presence. A fatherly smile.

“Yeah, praise from Damian is a lot.” Dick grins, leaning his weight on his younger brother. Cassandra agrees, leaning against the wall Bruce was standing in front of. “And he talks about you a ton!”

“That’s enough.” Damian huffs, pushing himself away from Dick who frowns. “Let’s look at some of the artwork,”

“You talk to your family about me?” You grin as he’s hauling you away from his family. He looks at you, clearly licking the inside of his mouth before he blinks and gives one strong nod.

“Of course I do, it would be a shame to hide someone so talented.” He explains and then looks forward, his eyes swimming across the faces around him. “I do believe in your talents and my father is someone who can help them flourish; it would seem awfully cruel if I didn’t at least try.” You go to speak; to thank him but his attention is pulled away by the director of the show.

“It’s time!” She gleams, ushering the two of you after her.

There are already people gathered in front of his top secret exhibit, cameras and people wearing PRESS lanyards like the front and sides. Much like a moth drawn to a flame, they find Damian walking and try to hound him, only to be stopped by his family. They’re far more intimidating now but Damian pulls your attention from them and towards him.

The two of you are in front of the whole crowd, the two guards holding one piece of the curtain and waiting for a cue to open them.

“We welcome everyone to Damian Wayne’s very first art show,” The director says, her hand ghosting over his shoulder. He takes that as a sign to step forward, barely leaving your side as he explains his art.

“Through My Eyes is a collection of various pieces I’ve created over the course of two years,” He explains. “The music that accompanies the art are pieces composed by my muse.” His eyes find yours as the curtains are pulled aside and for the first time, you notice the way he looks at you. The way his eyes never seem to want to leave yours, how he takes you in the same way he takes in the art around him.

Then you hear it. More specifically you hear yourself.

You hear the piece you’d played during your final, hearing your voice fill the spaces where people aren’t talking. Each key, and each note floods your ears as you turn to see his art.

It’s you.

All of it. Each painting, each frame has something of you in it.

“Holy shit.” You breathe, moving to the closest one. It’s a painting of you, wearing clothes you’d only seen in shows like Merlin, holding onto a statue of an angel. It’s almost impossible to not know where the inspiration had come from. After convincing Damian to go exploring with you and some friends, you’d come across a newly abandoned church with a large angel statue. On a dare, you pretended to dance with it.

Sure, you’d seen the picture before but it was nothing compared to the painting. It looked amazing, you had never looked better. Your features were captured in the best way possible, you’d been posed in a way that made it seem as if you were guiding the angel in a dance.

The description catches your eye next.

One Last Dance wasn’t the first drawing of Muse, but it was the first drawing of him that I truly loved. He’d resparked a passion for painting for me. The painting had been on my mind for two weeks before I finally started to work on it, having it become my only focus for the two days that I worked on it became the norm for the next two years of my life.

Muse doesn’t personally care for the Renaissance era, but it seemed fitting for such a painting. The feeling of dressing Muse in modern clothes didn’t ruin the drawing but it didn’t make sense, in my head their dance is accompanied by the sounds of the wings and their feet gliding across the floor. Just outside is probably a mob, unbelievable of a true angel. Muse would probably say that he was dancing to the sounds of Sleep Token and outside was a bunch of ‘angel fuckers’, but who knows.

D.W

The next painting was smaller than the first, but it’s a close-up of your face. Your eyes are wide and you’re desperately pulling at your eyelids as a light twinkles inside of it.

Blinding Gaze came about when Muse had gone to the eye doctor, fearing he was going blind. Turns out he was just extremely stressed to the point of temporary blindness. When we spoke about it, he joked that he was developing powers from that time he drank a sports drink mixed with a crushed-up Tylenol and he could shoot lasers from his eyes. While Blinding Gaze doesn’t follow his original plan of lasers, I imagine developing eye lights could be frightening.

Blinding Gaze isn’t body horror, although I had intended it to be but I couldn’t bring myself to put Muse into that position. Even if it was completely fake. I did eventually remake the painting how I truly envisioned it, but I still prefer my Muse to the remake.

Drifting to the next painting, you see yourself, dressed in your favorite smudged hoodie, dancing amongst the crowd. The people are drowned out in the colors of the background, nearly blending in meanwhile you’re ever so present. The light shone down on you in a way that made you seem like the main character in some movie, all eyes meant to be on you.

A Night To Remember was undoubtedly one of the best moments of college thus far. Muse had been invited to a friend's party and insisted I come instead of remaining in the art room, drowning myself in oils and pastels. Although I’ve put his words in a more friendly manner. I hadn’t wanted to go, the noises and being pressed against unfamiliar faces was hardly something I ever enjoyed. But for Muse, I’d do anything he’d asked of me.

Glued to him for the night, I found myself unreasonably drawn to him. I do not remember the song, in truth, I don’t remember much from that night aside from him. The way he danced, how he looked at me. How he looked in the room. I resented not bringing my sketchbook, but I would’ve been more out of place than I originally had been.

Smoothening your shirt, you take a nervous glance around you. You’re unsure about how you feel, it’s a lot. You’ve never truly thought about Damian in such a light before, at least not to your knowledge. Sure, you’ve written compositions about him and sure, if you read between the lines in some songs they’re definitely about him. You and Him.

Perhaps, without realizing it, you had made him your muse just as he had made you his.

“I want you to see this one,” Damian says as he walks up behind you, finally free of people asking him questions. The music loops as he does and you count that there’s five songs on the set playlist. Each and every song was one you had created. Your song from the previous week plays again as you stare at him, smiling.

“I’m your muse?” You softly ask, unable to remove yourself from the spot until you have gotten your words out. Damian dips his head down for a moment and wipes his nose. “You’re nervous,” The small tease makes his eyes roll and he clears his throat, the red settling from his tanned ears.

“I want you to see this one,” He repeats and grabs your hand, gently guiding you past the people surrounding the room. They look at the two of you, watching as you walk up to a large painting in the center of the room. Clearly a last-minute addition but it seemed to be the focus.

“Woah,” Is all you can say when you see the painting of you during your final. It’s painted in the same style as your favorite art era. The romantic era where colors were soft, even if they were dark. The painting itself had you in the center, a sea of people at the bottom and there are several ghostly figures of yourself, dancing across the stage leaving streaks of yourself at the top. The floor of the stage was covered in candles.

“How long did this take you?” You ask, eyes darting between details and finding new ones each time you look.

“Two days,” He shrugs. Slowly, you look at him and he looks back at you, confused. “I couldn’t sleep until I finished the painting. The way you looked during your final.” He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “It’s truly beautiful— you’re truly beautiful,” He adds, looking at you.

“When you paint me like that I definitely am,” You laugh, looking back at the painting.

“I only painted you through my lens. Perhaps your eyes aren’t as good as you think they are because the paintings truly do not live up to their references. You’re captivating and the way you’ve consumed my thoughts is honestly intoxicating.” His eyes twinkle as you look at each other. You don’t know what to say, honestly. You can stroke your ego a little, you could crack a joke, or you could bear yourself completely to him. But definitely not in a room filled with people.

“Ah,” Dick breaks the silence. “You know he used to be a junior poet?” Grumbling, Damian looks over at Richard as he’s staring at the painting, sipping sparkling champagne from a flute glass while holding a cracker with cheese and jelly. Gross. Probably, you’ve never had it before.

“I do believe I asked for a moment alone,” Damian gives a half-snarky grin and Dick shrugs.

“A whole lotta people here, doubt you’d be alone.” With a sweeping motion, he gestures to the crowd around you. It’s not elbow-to-elbow crowded but you can hear at least seven conversations happening around you.

“I suppose you’re correct,” He nods, following his brother's line of thinking. “Fresh air?” He asks you and you nod.

There’s a park in front of the exhibit and it’s mostly empty, save for two kids and their parents but they’re clearly about to leave. Damian heads towards the benches but you pull him to the swings. There are three but one of them is tossed over the bar and you don’t feel like fixing it.

Sitting with your back to the exhibit, you look over the trees and the playground. The sandpit with someone’s lost doll sitting down, a bucket behind it.

“What did you think?” He spoke up after a minute had passed. The entire time he watched as you gently rocked back and forth on the swings, tempting yourself to actually swing.

“You’re amazingly talented,” You hum, turning your head to meet his gaze. “Although, I already knew that. You’re like Michelangelo with everything you pick up.” Glancing at him, you smile when you see his hands. “You still haven’t cleaned the charcoal from your nails.”

“No,” He blinks, his eyes staying closed for a beat longer than a blink. “Not of my skill level, (Y/n). Of the drawings. That you’re Muse.” He looks down at his fingertips and starts to pick at the bits of charcoal. “That you’re my muse.”

Softly you sigh before looking back to the trees.

“What is there to think about? You’re my muse, I'm yours.”

“You’ve written songs about me?” He asks and you sheepishly nod, refusing to look at him. “Which? If you don’t mind me asking,”

“Birds of a feather, I wanna be yours, and Golden hour. There’s more but they’re too embarrassing to admit,” Hearing him take a deep breath, you pick at your fingernails and slowly stop swinging.

“What now?” You ask, finally looking at him. He shrugs and starts to slowly swing. He thinks for a moment before he checks his phone.

“When are you free? I can make reservations to—“

“Applebees or Red Lobster,” You cut him off and he looks at you, confused. “Applebees is once every so often, birthdays or celebrations. But Red Lobster? That’s graduation or date.”

“You could’ve gone for a five-star restaurant, you know that, right?” He laughs and you shrug.

“I heard they’re pretty shit. And I want to fuck up a seafood boil. Oh wait,” Blinking, you try to remember the Red Lobster menu. “Never mind, I don’t think they have vegetarian options. We could do Olive Garden or whatever vegetarian places you like. I’m not picky,”

“And I am?” He teases and you roll your eyes. “Friday, at five. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go to Olive Garden. And then to the movies to watch that new horror movie you’ve been wanting to watch.”

“That sounds perfect,” You nod and nudge your swing into his.

“Can I admit something?” He slowly asks. “Forgive me if I’m being too forward but…” Watching as he licks his lip, you stop swinging. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You nod. Trying not to seem too eager, the both of you stand up and you watch as he raises his hands to cup your face. His fingers are warm, gliding across your skin as you hook one arm around his waist while the other holds his shoulder. “Do you want to lead?” You whisper as he looks at you, unmoving. His eyes dart down to your lips and he nods before closing the distance.

His hands drag a little down your face, his pinky curving under your jaw before moving up into your hair. Slowly the kiss breaks and he dips back down for one quick kiss.

“He’s been waiting months to do that,” Dick announces and Damian groans. You snicker and look behind Damian. Dick isn’t even looking, looking off into the distance before he’s sure that you’re done kissing before looking at the two of you.

“Must he ruin everything?” He whispers to you before facing his brother. “I understand you have no concept of privacy, but this warrants that.” Dick frowns at the rudeness before he shrugs and points his thumb towards the venue.

“They’re asking for you, thought I should come and get you before they spot you.” He explains through a sigh. “Would hate for our little demon’s kiss to end up on the front page. But, yeah,” He sighs and looks over at you. He stares at your face for a moment before he chuckles.

“Take him to the bathroom, you got dust on his face.”

“It’s charcoal.”

#x male reader #x reader #damian wayne x male reader #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x you #damian al ghul x male reader #damian al ghul x reader

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ms-demeanor · 4 months

Text

So there's a statistic I'm attempting to track down that is evading me and I am getting very frustrated by it but will report back on my findings later, but in the meantime, we're going to play a game of chase the citation.

I went looking for information about predation of housepets by native wildlife, so I start with the simple search "predators eating cats and dogs study." I use DDG as my daily driver, but I get better hits on peer-reviewed research when I use Google, so I google it and I get a link to the site Newser, which seems kind of garbagey but whatever it's got the story. I click through, which takes me to a story from the SFGate. This is a more in-depth report than the one from Newser, but nearly every link in the article is to a SFGate search of that term, not an outlink to a study or anything like it (there is a link at the bottom to learn more about a seminar, but it has nothing to do with the study under discussion). But, there's a better description of the study in the SFGate story, so I go back to Google with the search term "department of fish and wildlife; mountain lions eating cats study." The first link that *isn't* the SFGate story is Field & Stream, and the link leads me to a blog post. The first link in the blog post is back to SFGate, and the second link is, weirdly, to Patch.com reporting back on the same SFGate story. That site has the *awful* headline "California Mountain Lions are Eating Our Pets: Report" BUT the Patch.com writer went out and did at least a tiny bit of digging and so this shows up in the middle of that story:

So now I have another search term, "Stomach contents of depredating mountain lions necropsied by CDFW in 2015."

So I run a search on that term and the report doesn't show up, but what DOES show up is the depredation report for mountain lions in 2022, which has some very different results!

And that's at least some of the information that I'm looking for, but I want the report from 2015 so I go back to my search and click on one of the "search term not included, do you want only results with this term" links for "2015" and the correct report is the first link, with the Patch article as the second.

One interesting thing that the 2022 report has that the 2015 report does *not* is a graph with the inciting incidents that led to the issuance of a depredation permit, most of which were for goats and sheep in 2022, with very few permits issued for domestic animals. I can't draw any conclusions as to why necropsied mountain lions in 2022 were less likely to have eaten cats and dogs than necropsied mountain lions in 2015, but I'd be willing to put more weight on "the people requesting permits did so after livestock attacks rather than the loss of a domestic pet" than "mountain lions just stopped eating cats and dogs."

Anyway, this report doesn't connect to anything I'm talking about in a meaningful way, it's not like a huge deal or whatever. But if you are a reporter discussing "a recent report" and you don't link to the report I am going to fucking eat *you.*

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saintship · 1 year

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Could I request a fic for konig (and/or anyone in the 141) (whoever you think fits the best).

One where the reader has an eating disorder that she's been hiding for a while and the team is starting to notice.

Eventually they confront her and she tries to defend herself but only makes it worse. Saying stuff like she knows her limits now and explaining how it doesn't really hurt that bad to purge since she figured it out.

Like she's trying to comfort them but is only making it so much worse. I need my angst + comfort

I decided on Ghost because there’s a lot of König’s big ass on my blog

WARNING: potentially triggering content for people suffering from restrictive/bulimic eating disorders

This hits close to home, and v accurate to how a confrontation like this can go, I hope you’re alright ml

You’re not fine - Simon Riley x Reader, 141 & Reader

You had a love-hate relationship with little celebrations like these; you liked talking with everyone, and you also liked that it was held at the base, so you didn’t have to worry yourself watching your back. But with celebrations, there will be alcohol, and then food, and then inebriated recruits spewing whatever comes to their mind. One in particular you were sat near was especially vocal, swinging his glass in arcs as he grumbled on and on. Many of his words were nonsense, their only repercussion being the drunk giggles of his friends.

You sat up a bit straighter when he leaned closer.

“Oi, I hate these, you want it?” He murmured, gesturing to the cherry adorning his drink. You looked away a bit, shaking your head.

“Why? You was eatin’ them before..”

“I had enough.”

He only grinned. “What, you think a cherry will make you fat or something?”

Your silence only amused him more.

“Aw, you starve yourself, lovie?” He laughed loud and bright, like what he’d suggested was the most amusing thing he’d ever thought of. His friends didn’t miss it either, now cooing comments and non-questions in your direction that made your head spin.

It wasn’t until you pushed yourself to your feet and made a break for the door that you clocked the eyes behind Simon’s mask, following you carefully. The embarrassment flashed through your mind, but you continued, leaning against the outside wall where people came to smoke or grope each other in the lamplight. You felt the cherry on your tongue, your stomach beginning to flip before you gathered yourself. You were in control. A sharp pain sliced through your gut. You’d been able to walk the line of hiding your self torture until now; if someone walked up to you, there was no way you’d play it off. You were in control. Everything is under..control.

You thought about going back inside, just eating the stupid cherry and getting rid of it in the common room bathroom. But you were tired, and the only 141 member inside seemed to have a habit of burning holes in your back, so what was the point? Going back to your barracks seemed best. Walking by the front entrance again, Ghost pushed open the door simultaneously.

“Oi.”

You stopped and turned; Ghost rarely incited conversation. He approached you, scanning around the grounds as he walked. He seemed to be searching for the right words, a quiet grunt escaping him before he spoke.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re acting..” he gestured with his hand vaguely, his eyes glowering with suspicion.

“Acting what?”

He dropped his hand. “Off.”

When you didn’t reply, he sighed. “Look, I’m not good with this shit, yeah? If something’s wrong, I’ll only catch it once. So what is it?”

Your heart ached. You wished so badly there was a way to brush him off and reinforce his compassion at the same time. But there wasn’t.

“I’m okay, really.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Sergeant.”

His reply made you blink, but your head still shook for the negative. “I’m fine.”

“You-"

“Goodnight, Ghost.”

Your tone only registered in your mind when you’d walked ten paces away from him. Simon Riley had just mustered up the courage to show a bit of concern, and you’d fucked it up. It would take a miracle for him to show vulnerability like that again. Your exhaustion urged hot tears to run down your cheeks, your skin heating up with shame and embarrassment. You didn’t get a wink of sleep.

The next morning it was pouring rain, and your walk to the med bay left you completely soaked by the time you opened the door to your office. The cold and discomfort of wet clothes were dull in your mind; all that played in your head was the encounter from the night before. The unit was empty other than resident patients, the rest of the staff likely at the mess hall. By noon, you were dry and warm, but every knock at your door made you jump. Just as you tried to convince yourself that you were being paranoid, your pager buzzed. Price’s voice rang clear.

“My office. Now, unless someone’s dying.”

Another day, you would have huffed a small laugh at his bluntness, but now, your anticipation weighed heavy on your chest.

Jogging through the rain again to the main building, scenario after scenario ran through your mind. Ghost outranked you, and you’d brushed him off without a glance behind you. You’d never had a charge of insubordination, ever. You admired and cared for your superiors in a way you hadn’t expected, and with that, there was never a time mouthing off even crossed your mind.

You lowered the hood of your rain jacket carefully as you eased Price’s door open, seeing it was already ajar.

Your heart sank through the floor when you saw Price’s expression, and then further some when you looked around the room. Soap, Gaz.. and Ghost.

“Is this an intervention?”

Your joke was met with a downcast silence, as Price rose from his desk chair. “Sit.”

He walked past you to shut the door gently, leaning on its surface. You obeyed his request, settling into a chair near his desk.

“Sergeant..you know that you’re cared for here, right?”

You blinked, glancing at Gaz and Soap. The two of them were so rarely serious that their concerned expressions were distracting.

“Uh..yes. Yes, sir.” You murmured.

“Since we care for you, we notice when you’re not all there. Isn’t that right?” The squad nodded, and you wished for a sinkhole to pull you into the center of the earth.

“Ghost. Why don’t you explain why we’re here?”

You couldn’t look at him, but you felt his eyes.

“You ran off last night. And I know it wasn’t cause of that daft recruit.”

The wood panels of Price’s floor were faded with a worn path of heavy boots. Gaz stepped a bit closer.

“We just don’t want you to be doing anything that’ll hurt you, love.”

You didn’t look up.

“Why would you think that?”

The sound of shifting weight was all that answered at first. Soap’s gentle voice filled the small space.

“You’re not eating, lass.”

Your eyes finally found their way upward out of surprise. “That’s what this is about?” You look around; no one’s expression had shifted. “I’m fine.”

“You’ve skipped every weigh in the last three months.” Price folded his arms.

“I’m a medic, I was busy! I think I would know if I had a problem.”

“So why do you drink your calories? Why do you work through mealtimes?” Ghost’s tone became a bit firmer.

“We’re just a tad worried-"

“There is nothing to worry about!” You interrupted Soap, making Gaz back up a pace. “I know my limits, I know how to do it right. I don’t need a lot.”

Price’s head tilted. “Sergeant..”

“I know how to do it right.” You repeated, a trembling hang raking through your hair.

“Do what right?” Gaz’s question hung heavy in the air.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore, I-I figured out how to..you know, purge. Correctly.”

“What?” Price pushed off the door, standing closer.

“It’s fine!” Tears pricked at your eyes.

“No, it’s not.” Gaz’s voice was low with emotion, his eyes following you as you got to your feet.

“I’m fucking fine!”

“Sergeant, lower your voice.” Price’s order silenced you, a tear escaping down your face.

“It’s—I have it under control..” your voice wavered.

Soap sighed. “That’s not how it works-"

You wiped your tears angrily, irritating the skin that was already warm with embarrassment.

“What do I have to do to convince you that I am fi-"

Ghost’s arms were around you. The rest of the room was silent. Your eyes were closed. You cried into his vest. He smelled like smoke.

“You’re not fine.” His voice was softer than you’d ever heard it.

“I’m sorry..I’m sorry..”

“Oh, love..” Gaz hand was warm on you shoulder.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Soap assured. Ghost’s gloved palm stroked your back.

A different hand laid on your other shoulder, and you turned you head to see Price lean to your level.

“You’re not alone, soldier.”

That night, the entire team accompanied you to dinner. They made sure to tell you that even if you couldn’t stomach anything, just being there made them proud. Proud that you could face this disease that would follow your every step, and that you trusted them to walk alongside you. Ghost excused himself for a smoke, and you followed him out where he stood in the night air. The cicadas were chittering incessantly, but the breeze was nice. You stood by his side for a few moments before speaking.

“You called the meeting.”

He held his balaclava away from his face slightly with a thumb, exhaling a breath of smoke.

“I did.”

Your heart hammered in your chest.

“Thought you’d be angry with me for brushing you off like that.”

His head shook slowly. “No.” He breathed a sigh of the fresh air. “You’re not the snippy type. Something was off. So I went to the people who deal with that sort of thing better than I can.”

You eyed him. “Why do you always end with that?”

He glanced back, but continued to toe at the gravel.

“What do you mean?”

“You say you’re not good with this sort of thing. But you are.”

His brow furrowed. “M’not.”

“When I walked away from you, you could have just decided I was a dick and moved on, but you didn’t.”

His head shook again. “I had to get backup.”

“You knew who to put in that room.”

“Because I couldn’t do it alone.”

“You hugged me.”

Your shoes turn toward him, the glow of the entrance light glancing off the woven fabric covering his face.

“When I was freaking out, you steadied me. It really helped..” your admission suddenly embarrassed you, and you looked at your feet the moment he brought his eyes forward.

“Doesn’t mean I’m good at this.”

“You’re good to me.”

He blinked. “Am I?”

“You’re good to the team. Good to your trainees.” Looking up into his eyes, the apprehension there was gut wrenching. “I’ll tell you every day if that’s what it takes for you to believe it..”

“Sergeant..”

“It’s true. You make me want to be better.”

Ghost shifted on his feet. “I just want you alive.”

You cracked your first smile in weeks. “You make me want to be that, too.”

He gazed at you a bit longer before outstretching an arm, pulling you into his chest while taking another drag with his other hand. Your smile stayed as you leaned into his coat, the warmth radiating from him making your heart swell. The gratitude you felt that Simon Riley was letting you be so close to him was exhilarating. He rubbed your back as he’d done in the office, but out here, where it was just you, Simon, and the cicadas, it was just better.

#cod requests #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty mw2 #captain john price #john soap mactavish #simon riley x reader #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley #ghost x gn reader #ghost x reader

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goddessxeffect · 1 year

Text

« INTRO: AWAKEN TO (YOUR)SELF »

A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO ALL THINGS CONSCIOUSNESS

This blog used to be a journal in the process of self realization of it's creator but has yet turned out to be a collection of sources and information guiding you too on your way back to your true Being. It all started with the question: “Who are you really?” and the realization that reality is not what it seems. I'm at a point now where I do not follow any teachings or concepts anymore nor did I consent in strictly deviding law of assumption from non dualism in the past. Nowadays, I see myself as an advocate for Self-realization. That being said, I really want to distance myself from any "new age manifestation/law of assumption" (do this to get xyz) teachings practised on youtube or tiktok.

I did create my own content in the past but stopped because there is nothing new to say and my understanding has deepened. Posts and annotations written by me are easily recognisable by my typical colour code, which is obviously displayed here. I only answer questions for understanding or clarification, guidelines here.

HOW TO START

Advaita Vendata (Non Dualism): an Introduction

Core of non dual understanding

youtube

If everything is consciousness, I am everything and everything is me? I still feel like "me", I don't feel like god of my reality How to become aware(ness) How to control the thoughts How to be free from emotions and thoughts Stop concerning yourself with the wants and needs of Ego How to loose attachment to Ego What you really are How to be Consciousness/ Awareness

In the end, the only question remaining should be who you are without all the labels attached to "I am". You will come to discover you do not want freedom from this shape alone, but from all shapes. Be aware of your past being over. "External world shows otherwise? Just be like "for how long do you think it can keep this up when you have nothing to do with it?" @Ada

youtube

MY CONTENT/ EPIPHANIES

You can experience pain in your life but you don’t have to ‘suffer’ the pain.” - Anon I mus

#masterpost, #goddessawakening

» Mosaic » Be yourself first »"Manifesting" » Freedom » Being » Why everbody misinterprets Self concept » Is there a real difference? »Misidentification » Consciousness & Limitation » No others » Question Reality » Missing » Ego & Time

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

... what to find on my blog through the tags

Advise/FAQs: Koda, Nova, iam-you, Cassie, Bry, Jag, Vesora, Lain, more What is Ego? How it feels to be Self / Awareness All on Self Realization and Detachment All on LOA trough a non dualistic view Books

If you still want to focus on "getting your desires" after been through all the info, search Neville Goddard (all his books and lectures). If you have a hard time understanding Neville, I advise some people who break down his teachings in a short and modern way of speaking: Edward Art (Reddit(Series), Audio), embodythestate, niclasupgradetolife, Josiah Brandt on YouTube

#this is a sideblog #consciousness #law of consciousness #non dualism #non-dualism #non duality #non-duality #awareness #neville goddard #edward art #law of assumption #loass #goddessawakening #Youtube

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sunlitpearl · 3 months

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You… are waiting for the train.

It's not a weird occurrence— You have to get to work somehow, after all. (Do you work? Well, of course you do. Why would you be here otherwise?)

The subway is packed at this hour. As the world wakes up and gets ready for the day, many a person needs to be somewhere else; their job, their school, their parent's house. They come into the subway in droves, pushing and pulling each way like a pack of sheep. To the side of the cacophony this comes with, muffled conversations and the of locomotives becoming ambient sounds, you sit on a bench towards the wall.

A kid approaches you. It catches your eye, because even in the mass of rushing people, he manages to make a bee-line for you. He has black hair, tousled messily one way or another on his head, and very big eyes. The light of the subway hits them in a way that you can't help but compare them to a galaxy. You've never been the poetic sort, but his eyes are as dark as void, and that's exactly why they reflect every thing he sets his eyes on with accurate detail. As if they're trying to soak in all aspects of life, so that he may use them later.

He looks like you, a little, though that's dumb because you don't have black hair or eyes, and you weren't that small when you were his age. (Or were you? You feel like you should look at yourself again.)

"You're the one that made this, right?" He says, turning his phone around to show you an image of what is unmistakably your art style. (But you blink, and it's not a drawing anymore— it's a piece of writing, the one you posted the other day on your personal blog. The one with three notes.)

Regardless, what he's showing you is yours. "Yeah."

"I really liked it." He smiles, and for a moment you are alone with him in a sea of people and all that matters is that this child you don't know is happy. "I didn't know other people liked this book. It's my favourite."

Oh, the book. The one your art-writing was about. "It's my favourite too."

Is it? It's a novel you read a few years ago, one that changed your life and impacted more than half of your daily thoughts. Even now, it sticks with you. But… No, no, you haven't even finished it yet. It's a novel you picked up because a friend recommended it to you- you're still trying to see where it goes, but you think you like it so far.

No, but, still. That doesn't sound right. What was the name of it, again?

"Really?" His eyes are sparkling in a way they weren't when he first approached you and you're, again, surprised by how dark they are. You smile.

A new train arrives. It's noisy.

He leans in a little closer so that you can hear him. "Oh, um. That's all I wanted to say. Just, thank you."

The kid turns his head around, searching the crowd until he finds what he needs. "I should… get going, I think. That one over there is mine."

And just like that, you wave him off as his small body disappears amongst the many passengers of the 8:10 train. As the doors close, you think you see him wave back.

Leaning your back against the wall, you let the murmurs of conversations that don't quite reach your ears lull your brain into quietness.

…Do you have a picture of yourself, in your blog?

#thank you for playing with me :)#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv spoilers #kim dokja #omniscient reader #writing #yayyyyy #sunbathing

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ingravinoveritas · 11 months

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Hi!

Have you seen Georgia's insta story? She's filming david and one of the kids called her a creep

https://instagram.com/stories/georgiatennantofficial/3212913988487468030?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

The only purpose of the video is just showing that even the kids think that her filming david all the time is weird

Like, yeah all of it is probs a joke but it rubs me the wrong way🤔

What's your opinion? Your blog is the 1st place i go to when i see news abt DT, GO or MS

(Grouping together since these are related.)

Hi there! Oh, I hadn't seen Georgia's Insta story until I saw your Ask, so thank you for bringing it to my attention.

A little backstory, for those who haven't seen it: Today was David's panel at NYCC, and he started to tell an anecdote about being given a pair of shoes for Christmas when members of the audience began shouting out telling him to tie his (very pink) shoes that were untied on stage. David actually tied the shoes, and the video of the moment was posted by NYCC on Twitter. An hour or so later, Georgia jumped in with a response and at the same time, posted this story on Insta (and the photo in Georgia's tweet appears to be from the same day that the video was taken):

For my part, I was under the impression that this was not a recent video, so to your question @phantomstars24, I don't think she is actually at NYCC with David. Rather, it looks like Georgia was searching for David's name on Twitter (again) and found a place to jump in with the screenshot and video.

In giving my opinion on this, I have to reference Georgia's Insta story from last month at the festival she and David attended, where she recorded him while he was walking and eating his ice cream:

vimeo

Here, we see David take notice of the fact that Georgia is recording, after wondering why she was walking so slowly. He turns away for a moment, then looks back at her and says, "It's never gonna stop," and his voice is uncharacteristically...terse. He doesn't smile, or laugh, or give any indication that he is kidding (that I picked up on, at least). David's energy and the video as a whole just seemed off, but like many of Georgia's posts, it was written off as a joke.

The voice we heard of one of Georgia's children in today's video reminded me of that. Leaving aside the fact that this child actually flat-out called Georgia a "creep" (for which I'm also hard-pressed to find some alternate/jokey meaning) for recording David, the theme in both of these videos is Georgia constantly recording David for the sake of having content. And as we saw with today's Insta story, her then saving that content to use at a later date. I know the people who hate-read my blog will insist that Georgia gets permission from David before posting anything on social media and that he's fine with it, but it is really hard to think that he seems fine in the video from the festival. And how okay would any of us be if our partner constantly took video of us not to make cute memories, but so they can use it to prove a point later on?

As I've said before, all we get is this little slice of their lives that Georgia shares on social media. But increasingly, those little slices are starting to look like moments that might have been better left unrecorded/not posted to social media. To hear Georgia's own child call her out like that was jarring, but it also made me wonder how much they do see/what they think of what they are seeing. Even now it says something that they're already aware of her social media use and the lengths she is going to for content. (For that matter, I wonder what they will think in the future, such as if/when Birdie sees Georgia's Insta post calling her a "drunken accident"...)

Again, this could easily all be chalked up to me just missing whatever the joke/dry humor is here, but these were the impressions I had from seeing Georgia's content today. Happy as always to hear what others think, however, so feel free to chime in on this post...

#electronic-chocolate #phantomstars24 #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #it is puzzling to me that everything with her gets written off as a joke #because at some point there are things that stop being funny #but it seems increasingly difficult to tell where that point is #i know if it were i would find it unsettling to be with someone who is constantly storing things away to use as 'ammunition'#but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #thoughts #nycc 2023 #discourse

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iamthat-iam · 1 year

Note

after reading through your posts and other non-dualism blogs i realised that when i was in loa, i struggled so much to manifest as i kept seeking validation from the 3D more than my imagination as i kept relying on my human body, the 5 sense for validation. if i didn't see it in the 3D/ experience it with my 5 senses i would automatically be like "oh i don't see it" then i either continue affirming and persisting or do SATS fulfilling my inner man, or other loa methods. and the cycle repeats again. it's like i know the knowledge i know exactly how to apply but due to the fact that i couldn't stop relying on my human senses to determine what is "real" and what is not. it's so automatic and that's the reason why i was stuck in the cycle and i couldn't get out or actually persist for goodness sake as some point in time id be like "okay this is not working ill try something else" then came the void obsession. i would try so many methods just to get into the void and manifest my desires. affirm, persist, fulfill the inner man, seek validation from my 5 senses and then start all over again and it never stops. everyone keeps saying that the 3D and the 4D are separate which made it even worse as it would be EVEN HARDER to actually see my desires as mine when the physical senses are showing the opposite. no one denies that the physical sense are fake. we are taught that we have every right to feel whatever we want to feel and that our human body is real etc.

then when i left loa and stepped into the non-duality community. it started making so much more sense. everything is an illusion, nothing is real. everything is consciousness/imagination. my trauma, my name, age, height gender etc. NONE OF IT IS REAL. the only thing that is "real" is awareness. even my 5 sense aren't real. so why would i have to rely on it? seek validation from it? i no longer have to "work" to get it in the human experience. NO. there's no affirming to "get" something. there is no "desire". there is no "manifestation". there is no "human body/self/ego/senses" ALL OF IT IS IMAGINARY. self doesn't desire. self has everything. self IS EVERYTHING. there is no "3D" no "4D". these concepts do NOT exist. they are made up and are an illusion. is doesn't make sense to call yourself limitless and then limit yourself to methods, affirm/persist, laws, etc. THERE ARE NO RULES. there is no such thing as "if you don't fulfill yourself, you won't get your desires". desires are from the human ego, the human body-mind has desires. SELF DOES NOT HAVE DESIRES. it doesn't make sense for self to desire when self is everything.

the 5 sense aren't real, never were, never will be. the moment we imagine something it INSTANTLY exists. the reason why we do not "see" is because we identify with the false self/ego hence thinking that it's not real. i remember i saw a non-dualism ig account say this before @infinite.ko.

"You can instantly experience a reality without your 5 senses, only by observing it, if you constantly limit yourself to 5 senses, you will identify with the Body-Mind and go down the "Why isn't it here yet" hole"

the concept of manifestation does not exist. it doesn't make sense. you claim to have all of your "desires" then why do you look else where to search and search for it when it has been within YOU all along? you job was never to affirm 10k times, repeat to saturate your subconscious mind, get into the void to "manifest" or "materialise" your "desires". why would you work so hard to "get" something when all you had to do was realise that it was within YOU the whole time? "manifest", "materialise" only exist because you think that there is a 3D reality for them to show up in. when the truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. your only and ONLY job ever is to simply just OBSERVE. just sit back and watch.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR:

thoughts

feelings

emotions

body

mind

5 senses

YOU ARE AWARENESS ONLY

if you want something simply observe it. imagine it. that's it. once you imagined it you already experienced it. as the observer and awareness you are not even supposed to put in the bare effort to get anything. NOT EVEN AN OUNCE OF IT. why on earth would you want to experience it with the physical senses when you are just the observer and you can experience it by just observing? the physical senses are an illusion. "manifestation" was supposed to be effortless and easy, but the idea of our "thoughts" and "states" manifest and we are supposed to change them is just TOO MUCH. there is nothing to change just observe/imagine/be aware.

if anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. as your true self/ nature would NEVER think/ even say such things. it would simply OBSERVE.

credits to all the non-dualism blogs out there, i couldn't thank you enough for teaching us this. thank you <333

@msperfect777 @lains-reality @consciousnessbaddie @awarenessis @luvcompass @infinite.ko (on ig)

That is so true!! Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall, we can affirm and persist, apply states, do SATS, script, or any method we want, but if we can't accept that it's DONE ALREADY, then it's all for nothing! It really is a vicious cycle.

I'm also guilty of jumping from method to method, I got the most "results" from affirming and persisting, but I wasn't "getting" my "big" manifestations, so I switched to states, which did nothing but stress me out 😂 with the 3D and 4D being separate, fulfilling the "inner man" like it's too much.

Non dualism has given me all the clarity and peace I had been searching for since 2019 when I found law of attraction. I am so happy that myself and other bloggers were able to help you on your journey as well 🥹🫶🏾 I am so happy that you are now in a better place and are out of the cycle of trying to "manifest" and "get things". Such a stressful way to live.

#non dualism #law of assumption #law of consciousness #nondualism

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melbatron5000 · 5 months

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Maggie, Maggie

#1 Do not take my theories to Neil! None of them, nohow!

#2 Big fat spoiler, which I suppose I should have said on my previous theories, but hey. Big fat spoiler!

Here we go, I think I know something new.

I've seen a few blogs where people have suggested that Maggie is Jesus 2.0. I didn't think so at first, but now I do. Maggie is Jesus 2.0, and Crowley and Aziraphale damn well know it. Here's my evidence:

See this post about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale are hiding something. Hiding someONE? Yeah, I think so. Who the hell would they be hiding? Who would an angel and demon who averted Armageddon be hiding, especially if they are expecting a second go 'round? The BIG one, as Crowley says? Fucking Jesus, that's who. Okay. Now we're cooking with gas.

Maggie is clothing-coded as both a demon and an angel. Y'know, much like Adam is described in Good Omens the novel. "Part demon, part angel, all human."

Maggie is a bit of a goodie two-shoes. "Never was that sort of teenager, never wanted to drink, no judgment." Oh, yeah? A little better than other people, are you? Not in a hoity-toity way, just, a little better than others. A little.

Loved that record store since she was a baby, huh? How did she remember it since she was a baby? Much like Adam remembered the other two babies he was in the hospital with, as described in Good Omens the novel. "You never forget your first friends."

Maggie calls Aziraphale an angel. Not as if she knows, but as if she subconsciously knows. If she is Jesus 2.0, I don't think she's come into her powers yet.

Aziraphale expects her to be able to sense the archangels when they come to ask about Gabriel and the 25 Lazarii miracle. And the whole time he's asking her about the record, he's looking out the window very nervously, repeatedly. I've seen a few people note that a car horn sounds and he looks at it anxiously, and that does happen, but he is anxiously looking out the window the whole time. What is he watching for? In case someone notices him talking to Jesus, maybe? And when she doesn't understand what he's talking about with the archangels, he shrugs it off and refuses to explain, as if he has suddenly remembered that of course she won't be able to sense them, not yet, anyway.

The ball: Not only does she want to stay behind and help without knowing what's going on (very brave and generous), she invites the demons in by mistake, AND Aziraphale can't miracle her to go with Crowely and forget all about this. He tries in a bit of a panic, then gives up, as if he's remembering that oh yeah, he won't be able to miracle her, she's freaking Jesus.

That's why "miracles don't work like that." It's not that Aziraphale can't miracle people to fall in love, it's that he can't miracle Jesus. At all.

The main reason Crowley and Aziraphale are so nervous about Gabriel showing up is because they are scared he is spying on them and will notice Jesus. The audience assumes Gabriel is scary enough on his own, and pay no attention to the fact that A/C are trying to keep him clear of noticing ANYTHING out of the ordinary.

That light in her record store. You know, the one that looks EXACTLY LIKE ADAM'S LIGHT in the first season? (Thank you @youryurigoddess for pointing out that you had these screen shots!)

11. Look who else wears orange and blue:

I'm inclined to believe there's more going on with the people on Whickber street, but I'm not sure what, and some of Maggie's behavior gets a little questionable and hard to explain, but this image is what keeps me up at night. Why are Jesus and Maggie the only two people in the entire second season to wear orange AND blue?

The question that I do have is: What did Maggie do that had the same power as a 25 Lazarii miracle?? Because my entire theory revolves around Crowley and Aziraphale knowing -- or suspecting? Or searching for and being closer than even they know? -- that Maggie is Jesus, or will be; Saraqael being in on it; and them hiding whatever the BIG miracle was actually for and the audience assuming they are hiding the Gabriel miracle -- which they are not, although they are ALSO hiding the Gabriel miracle.

If Maggie didn't do the 25 Lazarii miracle, who did? And why? Where the hell did Maggie come from? Why would Jesus 2.0 just show up in the form of a woman who inherited a record shop the happens to be next door to the one being in the whole world who would most want to know where Jesus 2.0 would be?

So much more to know.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #ineffable mystery #good omens fan theory #good omens maggie #maggie good omens #oh my god #no really #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #go2 #go2 spoilers

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picturejasper20 · 5 months

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Analysis of Danny and Vlad's relationship in A Glitch in Time

I have noticed that for some reason i never wrote a proper analysis of Vlad and Danny's interactions in A Glitch in Time in spite of talking about their dynamic a lot in my blog. I think in part because the graphic novel doesn't have much of that, at least not until the third act when they are fighting against Dan Phantom. However, i still want to try to talk about the interactions Danny and Vlad had through the story and how it changes by the end of it.

This is probably going to be a somewhat long post, so let's start.

The first interaction that Danny and Vlad have in A Glitch in Time is when Vlad arrives through the ghost portal in the Fentons's lab. This... doesn't end well as it leads to Danny to transform into Phantom and attack Vlad the moment he asks for his help and tells him he can explain (and also being in a weak beaten state). Not unexpected since Danny believes that Vlad went missing or probably died after the events of Phantom Planet-and with the time glitches happening to him he probably very quickly jumped to the conclusion that Vlad was behind them and was here to fight him. It isn't rare for Danny to sometimes attack Vlad for him just showing up too. So this reaction isn't that unexpected either.

However, after he gets some repressed anger out of his system and they trap Vlad, Danny gives him the opportunity to explain himself, as he wants to know why he happened to suddenly show up in his house.

One thing that's interesting about Vlad's line here is that he shows certain self awareness of how much Danny hates him because of his past selfish actions -something he mainly seemed to lack before Phantom Planet. He knows that he is ¨the last person Danny wants to see right now¨. In past it was pretty unlikely for Vlad to reconsider his actions, as he usually thought he was justified in doing them.

Danny also leaves clear his deep hatred for Vlad and for how he has messed with his life and others in the time they have been enemies. He is willing to listen to Vlad but he doesn't hide how angry he is at Vlad.

Vlad later adds that he didn't know who else to ask for help because it is heavily implied he didn't have any ally left after Phantom Planet events and Danny was the only person that he could think of that would help him. I interpret him as him assuming that Danny would help him since Dan told him that he is half Phantom and Danny would listen to him because of that.

After telling his story about how Dan got accidentally free when he was fighting against Clockwork, Danny, in shock that Clockwork is gone and Dan is free again, doesn't initially believe him and thinks it is a trap. Tucker proves that Vlad is saying is true by checking the ghost portal scanners.

Danny yells at Vlad for putting the reality itself in danger again thanks to his actions. Surprisingly Vlad acknowledges he was responsible for that happening, similar to how earlier he admitted that he knew Danny hates him, but still refuses to admit it was his fault, trying to say that it ¨wasn't only him¨, which in part isn't incorrect since Dan is the one causing the time glitches. Danny is left frustrated with Vlad's lack of taking responsibility for his actions and him having to be involved in fixing the mess he causes (again).

After Vlad tells the team Phantom about how he has been looking for the source of ghost power energy for decades and suggests they could search for it, Danny and Vlad have a moment that resembles their typical dynamic in the series.

Danny quickly picks up that Vlad in part is trying to trick him and the others into looking for the source of ghost power so he could probably keep it for himself after they defeat Dan. Vlad tries passing it off as this is for Danny to fix his ghost powers, correcting himself to not fully reveal his true intentions. Danny quickly points out that when Vlad had the Infi-map, he could have easily found the power source-but the map very likely it didn't want to take him there or it just doesn't exist. Vlad praises Danny for realizing this, indicating that while he wasn't taken to the source, Danny could be taken there if the map wishes him to.

Feeling like they don't have much of a choice, the team decides to team up with Vlad to look for the source of ghost power. For precaution, Danny puts the Specter Deflecter on Vlad so he can't use his ghost powers while they are working with him, just in case he plans on doing anything suspicious. This is a detail that is worth of mentioning since it comes back later on.

In what would be a twisted funny moment, when the characters are inside Vlad's lab, the novel reminds us that there was a time Vlad tried cloning Danny and not only that, he kept doing that even after the events of ¨Kindred Spirits¨.

Vlad tells Danny to ¨ignore the clones¨ and Danny tells him that ¨they are going to have a serious talk about boundaries¨ after they are done with dealing the whole situation. What it is interesting about most of their interactions in the story is that Vlad never taunts Danny with making him become his pupil or son. He doesn't make comments about Jack nor trying to get Maddie for himself.

This could be seen in two ways: A) He doesn't say any of this since they are working together in stopping Dan or B) At this point he had realized how wrong his obsession with the Fenton family, specially Danny, was. This could explain why he didn't seem to have an interest in Danny becoming his son in the novel.

When they are fighting against the Fright Knight, Vlad tries using his ghost powers, only to get zapped by the Specter Deflecter. Because of this Danny orders Tucker to take it off since ¨they need all hand on deck¨ to fight, specially considering that Danny can't use his powers properly. I bring this up since it was Danny the one who put the Specter Deflecter on Vlad in first place and it is himself here who is ordering Tucker to deactivate it. I assume he does it because he knows that Fright Knight is quite powerful and they need Vlad's ghost powers to beat him.

Moments later the sarcophagus where Pariah is trapped begans to wobble and falls to the ground. In a rare moment Danny and Vlad manage to work together to catch the sarcophagus before it can hit the floor with full force and then drop it over Fright Knight when they find the secret room they were looking for.

Getting angry that the secret room they found doesn't give them any power ups, Danny blames Vlad for making them waste their time, accusing him of lying about the the power source's existence. This evolves into a short fight between the two and Tucker trying to stop them before there is another time glitch.

This is the closest Danny and Vlad get to fighting each other in the novel, with the rest of the time clashing or Danny taking jabs at Vlad. However, it is never enough for the two of them to attack each other. Even Vlad looks very surprised at Danny's outburst at first. The fight itself isn't anything serious but there is a chance it could gotten worse if they hadn't been interrupted by the time glitch.

When they are dealing with the Hero Twins, Vlad suggests to Danny to take advantage of the ghosts being distracted and attack them. Danny points out that the Hero Twins just want to play a game, to which Vlad calls Danny ¨naive child¨ for thinking that they want that since they are ¨ghosts¨. Danny answers that with bringing up that Vlad is also half ghost and he is obsessed with the Packers.

I have talked about this before that Danny has a more friendly relationship towards ghosts that Vlad does. At least enough to understand that not of them are evil and they can be friendly, like Wolf or Dora. In contrast Vlad shows to have a more limited view of them. Considering it is naive of Danny to think the Hero Twins want to play. He sees them more as ¨mindless¨, since his first choice was suggesting attacking them instead of paying attention to their intentions.

I'm going to discuss this later on, but Vlad has a huge issue when it comes to understanding emotions and empathy. This is something Danny is better at in comparison.

Another thing about the novel is that there are hints that Vlad is somewhat jealous of Danny having friends and people who care about him. He is sometimes seen irritated or confused when seeing the Team Phantom celebrating together. It isn't out of place to believe that he is probably reminded of the time he was part of a friend trio with Jack and Maddie and how part of him misses that based on his dialogue later in the story.

The point their relationship begans to change is around the time they learn about the ghosts being powered by emotions. After they read the message that is in runes from the secret garden, Vlad has a quite of a mental breakdown, believing he spent years searching for the ¨ulimate power¨ only to find nothing. He dismisses the runes legend as simple ¨story time¨, not seeing the value in them.

I have discussed this before in my Vlad AGIT character analysis that Vlad isn't just good at anything that comes with understanding or processing emotions. He is mostly logical driven and is overall very disconnected of his own emotional side. That is one main aspect that separates him from Danny, who thinks better about the consequences of his actions and his relationships with others.

Once Danny is able to find a new emotional drive and get his ghost powers back, Vlad appears to have a change of mind in the way he sees Danny. It could be said that he has a new found respect for him, since he was able to quickly understand what the message of runes was about while he wrote it off as a ridiculous fairy tale.

Vlad has always seen himself as a superior to Danny and someone the teen should learn from, specially when it comes to ghost powers. In the series he is usually condescending towards Danny, believing himself to be better than him in almost every way and dismissing him as a reckless teenager. Earlier in the novel he called Danny ¨naive child¨ for thinking that the Hero Twins wanted to play, only to be proven wrong minutes after his statement.

By observing that Danny manages to get the ¨ultimate power¨ before him makes Vlad reconsider all these things and probably start to see Danny more of an equal and/or having more respect for him overall. This moment also inspires to rethink of his goals and priorities that he has been trying to avoid until this point of the story.

During the battle against Dan, Vlad shows to care about Danny's safety multiple times, often interfering or attacking to defend Danny from Dan's attacks. He tries checking on him, even helping him to stand and asking him if he is alright.

It is likely that this caring side he has for Danny comes from him seeing Danny as the son he wished he could have had, a side that probably he always had in him and now he is showing it because he is trying to change for the better.

During his speech about recognizing the mistakes he has made and wishing to make amends, he recognizes that his obsession with control terribly hurt and pushed Danny away, along with other people. At the start of the story he acknowledged that he was aware that Danny hated him but here he admits why that happened and he has only himself to blame for that.

Once he helps Danny by blasting Dan off, the two decide to attack him together at the same time on on count of three. A small detail is that Vlad is seen smiling briefly when working together with Danny. When the two hit Dan, their mix of powers ends up somewhat breaking dimensions and going through different parts of the Ghost Zone, until they are able to separate Clockwork from Dan and the four ghosts fall to the ground exhausted.

When Dan is starting to destabilize because of being part of a timeline that doesn't exist anymore and says that he doesn't want to going inside the thermos afraid of being alone again, Vlad answers with ¨you don't have to be¨. He transforms into Plasmius and gently pushes Danny behind him. Danny asks him what he is about to do, to which Vlad answers ¨The right thing, for once¨, still showing that he wants to start making things right with the people he hurt.

While talking to Dan, Vlad not only apologizes to Dan for how he was hurt by Vlad from his timeline, he also apologizes to Danny for his past villainous actions and how they affected him. He also asks Danny if he can give him a second chance to make amends for what he has done, something that surprises Danny a lot.

An important distinction to notice is that Vlad isn't asking Danny to forgive him. He is asking to be given a second chance. He understands that he pushed Danny away a long time ago and he doesn't expect that to be fixed any time soon.

After Dan uses Vlad's body as temporal host, Danny shows to be worried about seeing Vlad hurt/exhausted. A different contrast to how reacted at seeing him the same way at the start of the story. It is a moment that demonstrates that even though Danny still doesn't like Vlad, he still worries about him.

Danny also takes the time to ask Clockwork to wait for a second before he takes Vlad and Dan elsewhere. He leaves clear that even though he still hates Vlad and can't still forgive him for what he has done, he is thankful for helping them during the battle against Dan and offering himself to help Dan as well. Vlad simply returns a soft smile to Danny before he gets taken by Clockwork and Danny is left staring at the spot the portal disappeared.

This sentiment is followed again when Sam, Tucker and Jazz come in to check on Danny. He highlights that ¨they couldn't have done it without Vlad¨. He appears to be both confused and suprised for what Vlad did, since he wasn't expecting him to help them like that. He realizes that Vlad is more ¨complicated¨ than he thought, seeing now that he is more than just the villain he used to fight against and he had more going on in him than he assumed all this time.

In the end, Vlad and Danny start as enemies who are working together for an urgent common goal. Although it rarely escalates to a real fight, the two still clash with each other for good part of the story. Vlad doesn't show to be interested in making Danny his pupil, indicating that he was in his way to changing or regretting his past actions.

While working together, the two gain a better understading of each other, specially from Vlad in how he sees Danny. He begins to have a new found respect for the teen, not just seeing him as a ¨naive child¨ for his hero worldview. After the battle against Dan, the two end up in way better terms, as somewhat allies, with Vlad apologizing for his antagonism and manipulation and Danny, while rather unsure how to feel about Vlad, he gives him a second chance to start things over.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #vlad plasmius #danny phantom a glitch in time

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sombrashe · 5 months

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i love ur blog!! it would be super cool if u did a norm x reader but the reader is like a wastelander/from the wastelands or something like that!!

content fluff, first kiss :3, both reader and norm are weird little things he's just more sexually inclined, gn!reader, chubby!reader

note(s) thank you so much for the kind words ;-; i hope you enjoy this !!

It's been three weeks since you joined the rag-tag group. Two vault dwellers, a ghoul, an ex-BOS member, and a wasterlander. Sounds like the beginning to one of The Ghoul's bad jokes. He calls them dad jokes but since over half of you didn't have a dad the idea was lost to the sand. Plopping down you go through your nearly empty pack.

"I think me and The Ghoul should go on a supply run."

Your voice rose to speak over the horrid wind pelting small clouds of sand into the side of the burnt-out husk of a house. Everyone looks you over and immediately starts speaking over each other to argue about the dangers of leaving into the storm. Raising a hand you let out a short shout to gain attention which works wonders.

"I've lived in this desert all my life I know how to keep sand away from my skin, I'll be fine. The Ghoul is pretty much unkillable. We need food. My pack is empty."

You try to sound reasonable. It's been days of your group being holed up in this shithole and honestly, you wanted out of there even for a little. As close as you have grown to each member of the group you barely have any time to yourself anymore.

"What if you get lost?"

"It's a small neighborhood, I'll be fine. I promise."

"You can't promise that and you know it."

Norm's voice chastises you despite his face hiding his true concern. You knew he just wanted what was best for you. Him being the one person you opened up to the most. His easygoing attitude and similar resting face made it nice to tell him about any worries. And you had a lot especially living on the surface. Something he was slowly becoming accustomed to.

"Why not take one of us instead?"

Lucy speaks up. Her eyes search your face, hoping you'll change your mind.

"The only one I would be willing to take is Max, but he's out of commission."

You point to his leg which sits propped on a toppled bookshelf. Trying to save Lucy from a radscorpion cost him a rolled ankle.

"The Ghoul is no-nonsense, he'll get us in and out, and if he doesn't... I'm sure youse guys can win a 4 v 1."

You give a wide smile showing them that you mean what you say. You just wanted to get this over with. You've been thinking about this for hours now. Watching as your already small assortment of supplies dwindled.

"Please, just let us go."

"Don't I get a say in this sweetheart?"

"No. You want 'ta find their dad as much as the rest of us. Not me, I'm here for all the warm company."

You roll your eyes and sling your pack over your shoulder. Norm stands just as quick nearly shoving you over in the process. You steady yourself against his bicep. Only for a second before you yank your hand back as a warm heat burns your cheeks. You walk around the room collecting anything you might need. An extra pair of pants wrap around your face. Nice and snug according to Lucy. Making eye contact with Norm you feel the need to look away. His eyes are so expressive and they're begging you to stay. You go to give him an awkward hug hoping to make the feeling in your stomach go away. He doesn't bite and gently untangles the fabric from around your jaw. Your goggles skew your peripheral but you know everyone is staring. You can't hear the mumbling as he leans forward. You can't even hear the wind whipping broken glass into the side of your hideout. You struggle to hear anything over the roaring of blood rushing to flood your head. Especially when his lips connect with yours. You lived a hard life and went through unimaginable pain, but this kiss, even for a moment, made you forget everything and everyone. His lips were so soft a stark contrast to the sharp broken skin of your own. Your hands lay limp at your side as you attempt to kiss back. This was all quite foreign to you but you wanted to make it work. Needed to make it work. Deep down.

"Come back to us. To me, please." He whispers directly against your lips.

Reaching up he ignores Lucy's inquisitive eyes as he gathers the untangled mess of denim. Slowly he affixes it back together and into a tight shield against the elements. He gives your cheek one quick squeeze through the thick layer. You thank the cover because you couldn't stand letting everyone see your grin even if Norm picked up on your eyes crinkling. Turning around you opt to look at the floor as you walk over to the strong oak door. Luckily the wood stayed mostly strong for these past 200-odd years with only a corner piece missing. Flinging the door open you call back to The Ghoul to hurry up as you disappear into the screaming darkness.

#fallout #fallout prime #fallout tv series #norm maclean #norm maclean x reader #sombrashe writes

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jwirecs · 1 year

Text

RECOMMENDED SEVENTEEN FICS OF AUGUST 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen for august! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Dare You || @dontflailmenow🔞💕✅💯

↳ One dare. One night. One creepy, people-died-here, dilapidated house. Two reluctant explorers. Of course it’s Halloween.

Keep It Quiet || @jaemified🔞💕✅💯

↳ you and seungcheol never liked taking risks, especially with 8 of his 12 roommates home. but, up until your self control couldn’t handle it anymore, you both found it was best to keep it quiet.

Laundry Room || @ikigaisvt🔞💕✅

↳ in which your husband is really good at cleaning - and he looks hot doing so.

Taking Care of Their S/O having Foot Pain From Their Heels || @wheeboo💕✅

↳ Anon Req: heyy there! your blog is amazing <3 i recently went to a party and wore a new pair of very uncomfortable 4in heels for like five to six hours ( ended up getting cuts and blisters :’)) so may I request svt members reacting to s/o who tortured their feet in heels for a party? tysm<3

Your Cherry Flavored Kisses || @hannyoontify💕✅

↳ as his mom always said, kisses are the best kind of medicine for boo-boos

I Hate U, I Love U || @wonusite🔞💕💔✅

↳ After finally managing to escape the lifelong rivalry you once had with Yoon Jeonghan, you’re unexpectedly thrown back into the undesirable feud after receiving a scholarship to the most prestigious private school in the city. Despite your attempts to leave the past in the past, you discover too late that you’re the only one interested in letting the vendetta go. Years later, there’s a switch in dynamic when you’re the one unwilling to let it go.

The Very First Night || @shuadrive💕💔✅

↳ the search for a new place to live takes a turn for the worse when the only person willing to split rent with you is your ex-boyfriend.

Close Proximity || @chilligyu💕💔✅

↳ when she first met mingyu, she didn’t know what to expect. she was desperate for a roommate, he needed a place to stay. they were exactly what the other needed, in more ways than one.

Contusion Confusion || @seungkwansphd💕💔✅

↳ your clumsy lab partner left a bruise on you. seungcheol seems disproportionately upset by it, but it makes way more sense once you understand why.

Jihoon's Puppy || @rubyreduji💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ jihoon can’t seem to shake the puppy dog who keeps following him around or the teasing he gets for it

Kidult || @hoeforhao💕💔✅💯

↳ can trying to relive the childhood you never got to experience, through your daughter be the reason of your husband's irk?

Real Eyes, Fake Lies || @wooataes💕💔🔄💯

↳ What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

Willow || @wongyuuu💕💔✅

↳ seungcheol always knew that he was going to marry you, but things only get harder once he does (or in which seungcheol is just really dumb and doesn't know how to show his feelings)

Your Games Suck: Next Level || @onlymingyus🔞✅💯💯

↳ (no summary but just think, wonwoo and seungcheol???. yes please.)

I'm Dating Woozi || @jihoonotes💕✅

↳ y/n is in a public relationship w/ woozi of SVTZ and decides to make a twitter acc to support jihoon, but SVTZ fans seem to think they're delusional.

Pang! || @kkumawrites💕💔✅

↳ You'd consider yourself a simple college student, a freshman who just wants to survive their first year - but things get complicated when you're suddenly falling for someone you definitely shouldn't be, especially since he has a girlfriend already.

Yearning || @jihoonotes💕💔✅💯

↳ for yn it was love at first sight, but for jihoon it was annoyed at first sight.. oops?

[Tales From The Pack] Soonyoung: Imperfect || @gamerwoo🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ Soonyoung has always been desperate to find his mate, often going out into town at night to fill the void of imprinting that he craves so much. Then suddenly, you (quite literally) appear in front of him. He’d always dreamed and fantasized about what having his mate would be like, but the reality is nothing like he expected.

Do check out all of the other seventeen fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen smut #seventeen social media au #seventeen werewolf au #seventeen established relationship au #seventeen enemies to lovers au #seventeen exes to lovers au #svt fic recs #svt recs #seventeen fic recs #seventeen recs

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bloogers-boogers · 5 months

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Forbidden Power AU. This AU focuses on Michael, it's the end of all Creation, all thanks to Lucifer's Spawn. Michael's final attempt to fix everything is to Disturb their father Only To Discover that his father is dead and has been dead for what looks like years there is still hope his father may be dead but his Authority can still be used... All angels authorities are held in Halos and God is no exception... Michael has a halo So he can go back and fix everything... The issue is the darkness in his heart, his Desire for the First man... Originally he was going to leave Almost everything unchanged...but this is an Opportunity he never did get or never should have had...can he stay on the noble path...ya No Michael has bin the good boy all his Existence and he will continue to be the good boy But he will be so when it comes to Adam and make Adam Exactly how he wants him to be

Hopefully this ask is for me and not mistaken for another blog shsiwbdjiwe do not get me wrong I love the guitarhero ship but I haven't posted anything about them aside from the drawing I made for @/ironbatpaperturtle (and my adamsapple fic) so I have a feeling that maybe this ask wasn't for me 😭

I should tho... like write more of them cause ngl I really like them together but my whole view on those two is far different than @/ironbatpaperturtle's Michael and Adam ahdjendiw

BUT if this anon is for me then I appreciate you for sharing me your au whdjwkdjdwoek 💖 now, with all that said let me proceed on actually answering you.

Omygod. Okay first, I think the God being dead for the longest period is such an interesting concept I read something similar like this before in a fic (adamsapple) called 'the devil you know /by anglotron' so I like it, kinda explains why angels would be put in so much work (do drastic choices) if God isn't there to guide them and solve things for them or just get involved but I also love the concept of him not giving a f*ck shjsiahdwiwbs after Lucifer's fall/betrayal he was just left hopeless for anything; his most "perfect creation" (Adam) corrupted by evil and then his most "perfect angel" turned out to have been the one to bring said corruption. (he may still care for Michael and Jesus tho but like it's hard for him to care about the rest) and letting all his children figure it out themselves (poor Sera), like, I can picture him just as depressed like Lucifer in the show issisofksos but unlike him who copes with making ducks, God just lays in the couch mopping about how disappointed in humanity he is and how "perfect" everything was before he planted the damn apple on earth, while he bosses Michael and maybe Metatron too (tho with him he's a lot more harsher bc he was previously human and he's kinda just bitter about them in general, but he's proven his worth enough) around to bring him shit like ice cream or junk food (tho he could easily just summoned all those things he subconsciously just wants company and Michael is there to bring it to him the only angel that has not yet disappointed/maintain loyal to him). So yeah.

Anyways — I still like the concept of God actually being dead. Like when you say Michael has a halo do you meant like he holds on to God's halo? Cause that's kinda cool af, imagine him just holding on to the halo of God (maybe even pitifully hopeful their father would return 'saving it for him') so he just has the halo on him and everyone just "oh shit this motherfucker really could just end it all if he wanted to" but Michael just doesn't cause 'with great power holds big responsibility' type of mentality and I think it'd be funny if Lucifer confronts heaven and is in a determined search for Michael to provoke him and remind him he's still the most perfect of all God's creation (mosty just salty as hell bc Michael cast him to hell lmao) and then when he finds Michael he like comes up with a taunting comment about how bad heaven turned out to be Yada Yada that neither realm is perfect or better than the other, and BAM suddenly his eyes drifted to Michael's head and recognizes the halo.

"Is that—...!"

"Yeah," Michael simply states defeated in his chair, unfazed by his brother arrival, from all the chaos going on, his people being murder, just, done, "father's gone, Lucifer."

So they just stare at eochother in silence, Lucifer with a stunned almost hurt expression and Michael with a nonchalant one. After the realization hitting him like a truck Lucifer realizes there was no end to the chaos released to all realms after Charlie unintentionally brought it to them if God wasn't there to fix it all...

Fear overwhelming him now cause he was kinda chilled out about the whole thing knowingly God would have to intervene soon because heaven was also being attacked by evil- but now realizing he's dead, it like hits him hard, mostly worried for his daughter's fate more than anything else.

Then, another thing hits him, "wait! What aren't you doing anything?! You can fix this, Michael! You have father's power, we can-"

Michael lifts his hand to signal him to stop, "I'm not planning to do anything."

"WHAT?!! Do you realize your people are also being attacked!"

"Your daughter brought this among ourselves, now, she must find her way to solve it."

"But she won't be-"

"Silence. If she was able to bring it to us then she's more than capable of putting it back. If not, that's no longer my problem"

"YOU-!"

"No, Lucifer," he stands up, the power of God emitting through his aura, the millions of eyes on him, big six graceful wings extended to show their full on glory, eyes bright like the intensity of a star. His voice was much more deeper and cold, distant, detached, "I lost everything because of your silly dream of free will, and now redemption. Look at where it lead us, prove me wrong this time, if it doesn't succeed then it was meant to be that way. Accept your fate.

I would create something new, something different. Something that won't betray its kind. No longer you existing. It will be perfect."

Lucifer felt so tiny now. That was no longer the brother he once knew. Not the caring, gentle, protective fiercely warrior that he once was.

Only filled with rage, grief and pain.

Michael... is dead too.

But anyways with all that, somehow lets say both Charlie and Lucifer mange to remind Michael of his love for the countless souls left at his hands to care and protect. And I dunno maybe a song too ahdhdiqgsjahsia and what gets the cake is Michael seeing Adam alive, behind the two, who somewhat stumble across their intervention in a 'bad timing'.

"Hey bitch you forgot your tampon— oh shit! Wrong room," Adam (now sinner) appears at the door oblivious of the whole deal.

"Adam!" Charlie shouted annoyed as they were already, almost, having a heartfelt moment between her father and Michael.

Michael eyes watered, "ADAM!" He pushes past Charlie and Lucifer who are now just confused as fuck seeing how Michael (filled with new growing hope) crushes Adam in a big hug with all the intensity of his power and somehow it was till so gentle and careful that it didn't kill Adam.

And the first man just there struggling to get loose while also suffocating.

Idk I just like Michael still having to be the hero even in circumstances where he doesn't want to. So the universe just grants him a purpose for he to keep following up God's title for him. If he wasn't gonna do shit because he lost Adam? Then BAM! Sinner Adam is now a thing so keep your ass moving Michael!

Michael now wants to fix things up to keep Adam safe; his new purpose (reason) on protecting heaven, his people and the countless souls God left him in charge with.

#asks♡#guitarhero #michael x adam #sorry for the long ask my god

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