#why is life so depressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

day-nightmaring · 9 months

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wow i am regretting every single action i ever made

#just talking #specifically every time i got talked into doing an activity i don't like.#last year it was that stupid outer school activity #this year it's being a stupid buddy for some dumb 5th grader #the miniscule piece of mental stability will be devoured by this fucking school year.#i have to write a stupid thesis next year.#i have matura in two years.#then i'm 18.#fucking 18.#i'll have to get a job.#make money.#live somewhere #paying rent or whatever #go to work which is essentially school but you get paid.#why is life so depressing #who thought that making people pay to survive is perfectly normal #why do we have to pay for living #anyways #i'm rambling now so i'll stop myself right here

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iiflywithmeii · 2 months

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i just wanna cut everyone off and rot away in my bed

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tea-cat-arts · 18 days

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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #the fact that people think scum villain #-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me #especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater #heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series #he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters #(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters #like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx #I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes #side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me #i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation #but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years #like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain #the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too #+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu #as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people #another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does #also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be #he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students #and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing #+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this #but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy

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leucoratia · 29 days

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My favourite loser scientist (we are legally married)

Handplates!Gaster by @zarla-s (thank you so much for this AU it has given me life for the past 6 years)

#handplates gaster #gaster #undertale #art #wd gaster #I'm sooo in love with him it's not even funny #anybody who can recognise the formulas on his tie gets points <3 #and no they aren't random scribbles >:)#I'm picturing either the goatparents or Alphys gifting him with this stupid science tie #And Gaster was like “Why would I need a tie with basic thermodynamic equations a skeleton of my caliber obviously has them memorized”#(he absolutely does not)#Gaster trying to remember what the equation is for the thermodynamic process of work done by an expanding gas : :/#The tie: hold my threads #Tried to draw him as babygirl in a suit but he just ended up looking cripplingly depressed (as always)#promise i'll make him cuntier next time #my stupid skeleton wife #my favourite is the one on the couch he just looks so cute...gah my heart #gushing hours #I had Ukagaster opened while painting all three and it made my entire life if only you knew bbgirl #my art

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fucklife101 · 1 year

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No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.

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clownsuu · 1 year

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Wally talks to his dad about his love life

Home I feel is a really good listener (maybe a little too good since he eavesdrops a lot on accident- very observant of his surroundings)

cw minor obsessive/possessive behavior on first photo under cut

I remember I freaked out years ago when I found out some bugs, specially some spiders, have lil beaned peets

#I will never get over that fact it’s the cutest thing ever #I think that’s what cured me from my fear of spiders LMAOOO #That and djmm #B e a n s #Welcome home #welcome home howdy #welcome home wally #welcome home home #howdy pillar #wally darling #wallypillar #howdydarling #funfact I was gunna draw some ship stuff for mob au with these two #Bbbbbut u h h h h h h #Every single time I ask anything relationship wise with mob howdy and Wally it’s like-#R e a l l y a b u s i v e JDHFHHDJDJDJ #I had a fic where I asked if howdy was married and he depressively said yeah #And I was like “why u so sad dawg isn’t married life supposed to be good specially with someone so powerful”#And he’s like “yeah but I’m just seen as another object- if anything the torture got worse afterwards-“#And I was like o h #And I ran away with him LMAOO #But then later we got caught by Wally and Wally killed me rip JDHDHDDH #In “canon” mob Wally marrying someone who is a part of the “mob family” he would treat mostly gently #However when it comes to howdy he would still use him as a punching bag #Howdy rarely gets any sleep- and to then be bound by the boss? Who never sleeps and is incapable of doing so? W h a c k #Another funfact #Since Wally can’t sleep he would stare at his (current/possible) partner while they sleep #Very awkward

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cvfegg · 28 days

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these two hurt me. they’ve emotionally damaged me and I’m thankful for it

#mgs #solid snake #snox #frank jaeger #why do these two have so much angst between them #the tragedy is so …#gray fox especially is depressing #he thinks his whole purpose in life is to fight #and ugh I can’t

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ihateornithologists · 2 months

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#elisabeth das musical #and things that happened to me irl xD #i finally did thissss #it's so funny to do actually and it almost works like sort of therapy so why not #like wow i can finally talk about this and even draw related things without wanting to throw up immediately #for more context (yep again) i had severe depression years ago and at some point my brain was so fucked up by illness that #i started seeing [one of those guys i'm always talking about] literally as an embodiment of everything bad in my life #well HE WAS #but like i so strongly identified him with my depression that sometimes even doubted if he was a real person at all lmao #(YOU SEE WHY I'M DRAWING THIS)#he somehow managed to follow me everywhere which made things even more creepy.#and i kept coming back to him myself because i had no one else etc #so funny actually that he was literally JUST SOME GUY like not even interesting or anything #all this shit was just awful and gross that's all.#but when i realized i can make it look COOL by drawing stuff i felt so powerful ahsdijwhnu8 #like YES i texted him recently and he's just. boring as fuck.#so dumb to feel possessed by some evil entity for years and the said evil entity is just a random dude #SORRY my traumadumping is cringe af but thats the price you have to pay to see my drawings xDddd

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sallytwo · 2 days

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Jennifer nearly jumped into the water / and she was tired like no one's ever been tired

#myart #wesley crusher #jennifer is on her way home. then she remembers her life is like a nightmare!!!!#geniunelyyyy thinking about the post-first duty years of wesleys life is so miserable.#he killed his best friend and ruined his friendship with everyone else and lost picards respect (the only thing he ever cared about)#and then you just. dont hear about him at all for 2 years.#trying to capture the extremely specific existential dread of knowing something is deeply wrong in your life but not being able to change.#JUST THE LOOK OF A YOUNG MAN WHOS PROFOUNDLY UNHAPPY AND DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHY!!!#the quote from that novel. where he says “jaxa knew better than the rest of us the only way to escape this thing was to die”. ITS SICK!!#like leaving starfleet was not even on his radar until journeys end. he didnt even consider that as an option. so what could he do.#man. theres a reason for the prominently placed golden gate bridge. jennifer nearly jumped into the water.... cuz she got no way to get out #the photos in the bg are him and picard. jack. two of joshie (the ski tripppppp) him and bev and the entire nova squadron up top #do i think he would have his room this nicely decorated while horribly depressed NO!!! it was just for the compostion of the piece #like trying so hard to keep up appearances. being surrounded by pictures of all the people who love him and still not able to get out.#some of the papers lying around the desk are like. intended to be letters to bev that he just gave up on writing.#OKAY sorry i just wanted to finish this before i leave tomorrow. i spent such a stupid amount of time on this. never again #you people should always talk to me forever about my friend wesley . im soooo normal. lies facedown on floor #OH AND THE VERY SPECIFIC. EMOTION. LYING ON BED IN FULL UNIFORM. WE'VE ALLLL BEEN THERE.

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oceanwithouthermoon · 4 months

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people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?

#this is half joking but not really #i think you just cant read and thats okay<3 #'hes a dick to everyone' LITERALLY TELL ME HOW #cuz the entire manga is about him pushing everyone away because he doesnt think hes supposed to have friends #which he thinks because of past experiences that have literally only proved him right #and they show him kindness and make him realize its fucking okay and he deserves to have friends #so please explain why him self sabotaging and pushing people away by being like at most mildly rude (ONLY WHEN PROVOKED MIGHT I ADD)-#makes him an asshole ???#anyone who thinks like this i feel like youre those people on twitter who r like 'u should never vent to ur friends or be there for them'#LIKE THATS U RN😭😭#idk how to explain it but i think its exactly the same #depressed guy has a tough time showing affection and u go 'well he doesnt deserve his friends actually'#saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post

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depressiv · 3 months

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ʷʰᵃᵗˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗ

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iiflywithmeii · 2 months

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i just wanna fucking matter

wanna mean something to someone

i’m fucking nothing

i hate myself

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mod2amaryllis · 3 months

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What's cosmic depression?

when you're depressed but in the cosmos

#it's like. depression that's so much bigger than your body. depression that encompasses all of reality.#i go into Walmart after walking 500 miles from my car because the parking lot is vast and eternally full #i need one specific thing. katsu sauce for example. only walmart has it according to an online search.#i am overwhelmed by the sprawl. I'm like there's no way all these clothes are gonna be bought. this is so many waffle makers.#against my better judgement i pass by the pet section. half gallon self cleaning betta boxes are 50% off.#I've lived here all my life and remember when this was a local chain grocery store.#there is a specific smell.#i hate walmart i hate going in. i can get cheaper bananas at smiths. in fact everything is cheaper at smiths. why am i here.#oh right. katsu sauce.#i find the condiment aisle with an asian section. there is no katsu sauce.#and that's cosmic walmart depression #m2a #m2answers

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im-getting-help · 3 months

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Okay but, imagine. Oliver and Felix.

They had the 💫maze moment💫 but after Felix says the magic words (you make my fcking blood run cold) Oliver freezes. He thought Felix was mad at him but he realizes he hurt him. Oliver never thought for a second that Felix would care enough to actually be hurt by him. He not only hurt him but he is scaring him. And so, he lets go, he mutters an "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Felix" and he's gone.

Felix is UPSET, cause after all that he can't keep denying that he's in <something> with Ollie (was? is?). And he's mad cause Ollie is right. He wouldn'v care at all about him if he hadn't been interesting enough from the beginning. How did Ollie knew him that well? How did he know what lies to tell to keep him intrested? (Doesn't this just proves how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you?)

He needs space, he needs to simmer whatever all of this is. But not tonight.

So he gets out of the maze and drinks and smokes and fucks whoever and then Duncan is waking him up, giving him some tylenol or something and taking him to his room.

When he actually wakes up is late in the afternoon, he moves instinctively to the dining room, still dizzy. When he gets there all eyes are on him. What happened? It's not the first time he passed tf out after a party. Elspeth seems upset.

After he ate and is a little bit less dead Duncan informs him that Oliver is gone. He took all his belongings and left at some point during the night or morning who knows. No one saw him leave.

Felix gets up and goes back to his room, through the bathroom and... empty bedroom. No signs of Oliver. The room was clearly recently cleaned. He opens the closet, nothing. Back to the bathroom, empty too.

Fuck.

Duncan tells him that the only thing he left behind was the costume and the black suit Felix lend him. Oh, and a blue button up that was still in the laundry room.

The rest of summer Felix tries to get a hold of Oliver but is impossible. He texts, calls and leaves voicemails, nothing. He finds the phone number of Oliver's house but when he calls Oliver's dad tells him that he's not home, he's probably back at Oxford. Felix packs and leaves Saltburn early. Back at Oxford he goes straight to Oliver's dorm, he knocks but nothing, he stats pounding the door "c'mon Ollie, I just want to talk!" he tries the knob, the door opens, the room is empty.

He learns quickly that Oliver moved. He didn't just moved rooms, nope, he moved colleges. He's gone.

That night Felix cries holding Ollie's shirt :)

#don't worry he'll find him eventually #Farleigh pulled some connexions and now Felix owns him for life #Oliver is so depressed that he didn't even had the strength to run away when Felix find him #He's scared but then Felix hugs him and 🎶💫is crying time💫🎶#for both #they're both crying and hugging in the middle of a very busy aisle #Farleigh is disgusted #Felix playfully slaps Oliver cause “WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER MY CALLS?” but he's crying and smiling #and Oliver starts sobbing while saying “i'm soooorry” lol #And then Farleigh is concerned #anyways #I could keep writing but I feel like I'm going crazy so.#saltburn #felix catton #oliver quick #cattonquick #farleigh start

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silverskye13 · 2 months

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Man why is writing so hard today? I literally sat down at my computer and typed for a solid hour and a half and it was utter garbage. But the more I looked at it the less I could figure out how to fix it! So I pulled up PS and decided to draw instead but every image just flew out of my head I couldn't do it and really I should be writing and man my eyes hurt. My whole face hurts kinda, actually, but my eyes really hurt and it's so hard to focus and it shouldn't be this hard and-- Jesus Christ it's 1am and I only got 3 hours of sleep last night.

#spazzcat barks #delete later #one of the silliest things about being Too Tired is your brain gets so confused you forget youre tired #and just end up being confused about why youre confused instead #why is life so hard why are my emotions eratic why do i feel like i deeply Need something that isnt food or water why do i long for #companionship but find talking deeply bothersome like im pulling from a dry well why do my eyes teeth face hurt why is moving hard why is #the very idea of doing literally anything so exhausting is this depression am i depressed have i lost joy in life what if my friends hate me #what if im worthless what if ive suddenly lost the ability to live a full and healthy life why are me emotions so eratic right now why--#-- oh shit i need sleep #huh #how did i manage to forget that?#anyway im going to bed now lol #sometimes the Big Existential Questions have an easy answer and that easy answer is bedtime

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deprixpainsblog · 7 months

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TRIGGER WARNING!!

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