#why not catra? she was the one who knew the truth about the horde after all

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

when they deny that adora and catra are siblings, but also expect adora to constantly take care of catra like an older sister would.

[antispopausandstuff]

Romantic Homicide

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[ synopsis - a rewrite of 'Don't Go' by Nate Stevenson // 'Taking Control' s5 ep 6 ]

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for a moment, the hero can barely inhale.

those claws, holding onto her so tightly, that she can barely process anything else. not even her own heartbeat.

she wants to let go.

but then Catra would fall deeper.

would that be her fault, too?

after slowed time, Adora finds it in herself to push up onto her feet, adjusts her grip on the woman in her arms, and walks. it's a strange feeling, to be so sluggish and energized at once. adrenaline.

from fear.

she didn't know when they got to the empty room. an extra space.

"...Catra," she breathes, quiet and ragged. a simple command. no, a plea, to let go. the Magicat's ear twitches once, her hold loosening only slightly, but not setting her free.

Adora sets her down on the bed.

the claws stay.

"let go," she says, unable to be as harsh as she wants to be.

all this time, and she's still soft.

when the hands release her, Adora breathes further.

silence continues as clothes are found and water is given. they don't talk. what could be said at this moment that would change anything, ever, at all? what could be forgotten?

"Adora."

the exit is right there. she could leave. she wants to.

yet, she still stops when that voice calls to her. for her.

looking over her shoulder, blue and yellow eyes stare right at her, something like guilt trapped within them. one that couldn't be trusted, after all these years of pain and suffering, of blood and an unforgiving darkness. one that grew and grew until no room was left.

guarded, Adora slowly turns. "what is it?" she asks, neutral and distant. the distance that was always there protruding and showing itself out in the open without spilling.

the Magicat shifts in her spot.

"i..." a swallow. nerves. "why did you come back?"

come back.

is that how she viewed it?

"why did you come back? we both know i don't matter."

"i can't let you die here."

at the time, thoughts were messy and looking deeper could've cost more than it was going to be worth.

but now...

with bated breath, she stands straight and forward. "i didn't," she replies, states, blunt, direct, and impersonal. as it should've been.

silence hangs over once more.

and she leaves.

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when she comes to ( from what, she doesn't know ), a hand is on her shoulder, calloused, chipped, bruised, yet gentle and inviting.

Bow.

"you were spacing out again," he explains, lowering his hand to hers as worry settles in his eyes. "is it... Catra?" he asks next, though he sounds expectant.

of course he is.

Adora breathes again. without a word, she nods, and the archer sits by her, hand at her waist as he pulls her into an embrace. she wraps an arm around him in turn, head on his shoulder.

she was exhausted.

.

it was hard, to care for someone you wanted to stay away from.

to hold back against someone who shouted at you.

to keep the words "of course i hate you" in your throat.

she didn't lie, but she wasn't able to speak the truth, either.

all the hero could do was walk away.

"i'm such an idiot."

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talking to Glimmer was hard.

less difficult than Catra, more difficult than Bow.

but she had to do it. she had to.

"...why was she so nice to you?"

it was a selfish question. she knew that.

but the Queen's eyes showed sympathy anyway.

Glimmer had spoken of her time with Catra on Horde Prime's ship. said she wasn't so terrible, for a time, and even listened to her every now and then until she just... suddenly saved 'her'.

and Adora couldn't help but feel...

envious?

logically, she knew Catra was only out for herself at that time ( maybe all the time ), but it still hurt, somehow, to hear that she was different, if it was only for a time.

why couldn't she be different for me?

"you're such an idiot."

"i think she just wanted to feel better about herself. in a weird, self-pitying way," Glimmer answers.

that was the only answer possible.

because Catra couldn't have wanted more than the power she was given, now could she?

"don't you get it?! i am NEVER going to go with you!"

a hand. warm, almost hot, through the fabric of her jacket, seeping into the skin of her shoulder. "Adora," the Queen called out, bringing her back to the world around them.

for now, reality was kind and bittersweet.

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Catra's claws were bared.

in the next instance, that hand was pinned to the wall, the grip over it almost vice. the claws didn't go away.

Adora could barely hear the voices around her.

with furrowed brows, her chest heavy, she slowly let go and took steps back. "we're doing this," she declares, unforgiving. "and if hiding from the people you've almost killed will make you feel better, we'll drop you off and you never have to see us again!"

silence.

taking a deep breath, she slowly turns away. "i'll never have to see you again," she mutters, walking across the unstable ground.

but, before she could escape, that damned hand grabbed her wrist.

"Adora, wait!"

looking down, the Magicat was on her knees.

the hand dragged down until it wrapped around the hero's palm, keeping her there.

"please."

a skip. nerves bundled in her gut, an urge in her throat.

let go of me.

those blue and yellow eyes showed themselves.

"stay."

...and she did.

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it was nightfall, according to Entrapta.

regardless, everyone was exhausted and wanted to sleep.

but Catra didn't want her to go.

sitting on the mattress, Adora fiddled with her necklace. somewhere along the way, the sword transformed itself. maybe it was the anxiety of everything, of Catra being here, right behind her.

the answers were unclear.

many seem to be nowadays.

the voice cut through her thoughts, low, almost rough. she didn't fully hear what was said, but she knew well enough.

everything suddenly felt more closed in.

slowly, rigidly, Adora shifted her position, laying down on her side, only leg in contact with the floor with the other on the mattress. she was facing away.

she didn't want the covers.

the ship was silent.

and the hero didn't sleep.

just listened to the Magicat's breathing turn to snores and hope she didn't wake up to need her again.

[lightns881]

I don't think people who argue that Catra is evil because she knew what the Horde was doing and still stayed understand that Catra's disregard for the world isn't rooted in her being a bad person, it's rooted in the absence of her needs as an individual.

Viewing it from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs I think is a good way to analyze her perception. Her physiological and safety needs are met for the most part, it's when you get to love/belonging that things start to get messy. So love/belonging needs boil down to connection, feeling accepted, a sense of belonging, and having a place in the world. I do think that before Adora left, she definitely had a part of her love/belonging needs met because they were relying solely on Adora since her connection with her gave her a sense of world. You could literally tell they lived in their own little world every time they were together and I'm pretty sure everyone else in their squadron could tell too. So the reason Catra essentially doesn't care about the people the Horde is hurting is because they're not a part of her sense of the world. Her world is Adora. So when Adora leaves, she loses all her sense of love and belonging. In her eyes, the only person who cares leaves her for strangers she's just met and breaks their promise that that they'd always be together AND that Adora wouldn't leave her for other people. How worthless would you feel if this happened to you? See and the reason she views it as Adora can only have one friend is because that is literally all she has. Her love/belonging needs are being met solely from Adora's love, so she thinks that it's only possible for one person to meet these needs. Thus, Adora's reasoning that the Horde is bad because they're hurting people doesn't make sense because they've been hurting them--hurting her--since the very beginning, but it didn't matter because Adora and her lived in their own little world. But now Adora is saying that she didn't know this and that she can't stay here because these strangers that aren't a part of their world are being hurt--basically saying that it was fine when the Horde was hurting them, hurting her, but now that these people who aren't a part of their world are being hurt, it's bad. It's a slap in the face--it's Adora saying she doesn't care about what happens to Catra and that Catra's love and connection isn't enough for her (of course we know this is far from the truth but this is what Catra sees). So of course, she's going to have resentment for Adora, her friends, and the world she left to save--of course she's not going to care she's hurting people. And obviously it doesn't excuse her actions but I'm just trying to explain what it looks like from her eyes. Even though Catra knows what she's doing is bad, she doesn't care because she doesn't even feel like she belongs in this world (she literally tells Glimmer that there's nothing left for her in Etheria and that there's no one in the entire universe left who cares about her). The only world she found belonging in is the one she built with Adora and it's gone now.

And if we go further up the pyramid, we find some more interesting stuff about her too!!

So although Catra was getting her love/belonging needs met by Adora pre-conflict, she was really struggling to gain her esteem needs. The few esteem needs she could meet were also centered around Adora because her sense of self was measured by Adora--all her skills were always compared with Adora, any "respect" she had was from being Adora's friend, every aspect of her identity was relative to Adora and it's why when their codependent relationship broke after Adora left, it had the most profound effect on Catra (not saying it didn't affect Adora but Bow and Glimmer replaced her love/belonging needs and she had a better grip on her esteem needs compared to Catra even with the Horde). So Catra's betrayed and alone and it leads her to avoid making connections with other people because it's only going to hurt her (we see this from the way she pushes Scorpia away, if she let's herself rely on another person again, it's only going to cause hurt). The problem after this is that because she can't have her love/belonging needs met, it's really hard to reach her esteem needs at all which is what she is desperately trying to do since she has no sense of self without Adora and she's trying to develop it. The problem is that she won't reach that until she finds a place of belonging in the world. So as she moves up the ranks of the Horde, she's not meeting her esteem needs so she thinks she needs to get higher up and gain more recognition to get that but she doesn't realize that without gaining a sense of belonging through connection with others, she's never going to feel accepted, respected or recognized. So we run into a paradox here, Catra wants to be recognized and respected to feel like she's worth something in the world but she wants to do it without forming attachments to feel like she belongs in the world. It doesn't help that though she desperately wants connection, she pushes people away because again, attachments are going to hurt her. Thus, she's stuck in a self-destructive cycle that makes her push more people away and do more bad things in desperate attempt to feel fulfilled with herself.

Corridors is like one of my favorite episodes and also one of the episodes that always makes me BAWL. We see everything she's starved for so clearly here. Aside from getting that gold scene in Adora and Catra's childhood where we find out she always believed Adora would leave her for other friends and it literally happened, the first scene with Glimmer really puts everything I talked about up front. Glimmer realizes that she's lonely, and Catra falling back on her belief that she doesn't need people, gets defensive and says that at least she's not trapped and basically implies she's at her place of power with Prime which is what she supposedly wanted even though we know that's not true. I think her connection with Glimmer really does help them keep eachother afloat seeing as both have lost their love/belonging needs, if you think about it, they kinda find a little bit of them with each other. Having been the leaders of opposing forces and having both pushed everyone away, it's led them to the same pit and they're stuck with only each other to talk to. And it's made so obvious here to the both of them--even when Glimmer says she was so awful to her friends and she would do anything to make it right, Catra realizes here that they're in the same place because she knows how it feels. She feels that way about Adora now. She, of course, tries to deny it to herself--she shouts at Glimmer and tells her not to talk to her like she knows her because she knows nothing about her. But it's not true. If anything, Glimmer and Catra are the ones who would understand each other the most.

And then here comes the best part! So Catra tells Prime what he wants and he says she'll be rewarded and when he sees her face, he asks if it's not what she wanted. At this point, how many people have asked her what she wants? It's here where what everyone's been telling her starts to click (DT tells her being at the top of the Horde wasnt what she wanted, Glimmer tells her Horde Prime doesn't care about her and asks if the destruction of the universe is what she wants)--basically she realizes helping Prime isn't going to help her feel fulfilled.

And then it's the memory that really does it. Adora assures her they'll always be friends--that they can all be friends. She asks Catra to say sorry to Lonnie and she of course she makes a promise that she never will. And now that she's acknowledged what she doesn't want, as she looks at her reflection and sees their younger selves and Adora telling her that she will always be here friend, she realizes that what she does want is Adora. And now that she has literally nothing else in the world and that she believes she can't even get Adora back, the only thing she can at least do is save her. Although I don't think that's the only reason. As we find out from Horde Prime after he chips Catra, he tells Adora that Catra hoped she would come for her. Knowing the last memory she had was one where Adora says they'll always be friend, it's reasonable to think that maybe Catra has hope that she wasn't lying when she said that and that she's been genuine every time she told Catra to leave the Horde and come with her and that maybe Adora might care enough to try to save Catra from Prime like she would Glimmer. Seeing as she has nothing left but hope, she probably thinks it's impossible but in her ideal world, Adora would keep her promise. So I think Catra uses this sliver of hope to push her to do that one good thing, and even though she says she's not doing it for Glimmer, I do think she's grown more fond of Glimmer and even though she doesn't say sorry to her like she didn't with Lonnie back then, she does try to make things right. She understands why Adora is friends with her now and when Glimmer asks if she used to thrash around and sleep fight, she realizes that Glimmer's friend is still her Adora. That she hasn't changed and that maybe, they could still be friends.

Honestly, that's why this episode is one of my favorites and why it makes me just bawl. Catra, having nothing left in the world and having always been hurt by everyone and knowing she's only ever hurt people, finally realizes that rising up the ranks of the Horde and getting recognition was never what she wanted--that what she always wanted was to be with Adora. And because it feels like it's too late now and seeing as she was even willing to die back when Glimmer showed up at the end of season 4, she's willing to die for her friend here too if it means it's the only thing she has left to do.

[gimme-tea-bitch]

Quick meta for you folks.

I was talking with a lovely friend about the failsafe episode. And had a thought.

I've brought it up before, but Catra is the only person who tries to stop Adora.

Shadow Weaver, the BFS, the rest of the rebellion. No one stops her, in fact. They either go with it, or encourage Adora to lay down her life.

Except Catra.

And I know I've talked about this before. But Catra is the only person to reject this. She yells at Weaver and the Rebellion for once again giving Adora the burden. "Why does it always have to be Adora?"

And I had a thought about this specific moment. Because this is wildly different from Catra's thoughts near the start.

Early on in the show, Catra views Adora as having abandoned her. She seemed to view Adora leaving her as Adora seeing a way out of the Horde and taking it. Ditching Catra to have a glittery pretty life.

It feels like after joining the rebellion herself, Catra actually sees a future, where she is happy. Where Adora is happy. And to have that hope, and then see Adora throw away her life, to see Adora throw away her own happiness and future, for a CHANCE that the people around her might get to keep theirs puts the truth into perspective for Catra.

Adora didn't leave for greener pastures, she left because her wants, her life, her happiness and future are worthless compared to those of anyone else.

Catra's anger in this scene is very much directed at Weaver, who did this to Adora, but it's also at the rebellion who keep letting Adora break herself for them, and to some extent, I think she's angry with herself, that she wasted so much time because she didn't realize this terrible truth about Adora. That Adora doesn't value anything about herself. That Adora only values herself in her ability to sacrifice.

And when Adora takes the failsafe, especially after seeing Weaver seemingly get into Adora's head again, she reverts to being angry at Adora, for not standing up for herself. "When do you get to choose, Adora?"

The big difference in this repeat situation is that early on, Catra didn't have context for Adora's side of this, but she also couldn't imagine a better future than her and Adora ruling the horde.

Now she could, she could imagine a happy life with Adora, she knew that all of this was due to Weaver. And Catra chose to fight back.

Catra chooses to come back. Not realizing that much like she confronted Weaver, Adora confronted Weaver too.

Catra standing up for Adora gave Adora the courage and the push to want. To stand up for herself a little. To care about herself, even if just a little.

And that's crucial to the finale. Because when Catra tells her she loves her, she offers Adora the reality of a happy future together.

It's no longer just the dream of a dying Adora. It's possible. It's tangible. And that, that give Adora the strength to stand up, to survive. And I think that's so beautiful.

Catra realizing that Adora didn't leave because the rebellion offered her a picture perfect life, but because they asked her to help, and Adora has been conditioned to give and give is as important as Adora realizing that Catra wants to be cared about, and to be listened to, and to have her agency.

They understand each other finally, and that gives them both the courage to let their love out.

That's all I wanted to say. It ended up longer than expected, as per usual XD. Thanks for reading!

[n7punk]

So, I never understood why people who relate to Catra hate Hordak so much? I always thought they were quite similiar what with doing bad things as a result of their abuse and then eventually overcoming their abusers by the end of the show. Why the hate?

Normally I don't engage with this stuff, so this will be my one piece on it. Let me touch on 2 things before I compare and contrast Hordak, Catra, and Wrong Hordak (who I will call Kadroh for the remainder of this meta).

1) I am someone who finds Hordak to be an interesting character, but I dislike his stans and don't usually engage in content featuring him primarily. I feel this way about the majority of characters that I find interesting but don't outright love. I find his personality to be unlikable, but that doesn't make him a bad character, just someone I wouldn't want to be friends with. 2) The framing of this question makes it seem like it's "just" Catra fans who dislike Hordak, thus making it seem like there must be something wrong with that subgroup when there are actually many valid reasons to find him unlikable and many others dislike him as well (he is, after all, a villain). I will, however, extend good faith once - and only once - and assume you are asking why someone likes one villain and not another when they both ended up hurt by the same person (Horde Prime). Spoiler alert: the answer is all other context surrounding them as characters and their actions.

Okay, so let's talk about some of the differences between them in no particular order, because unpacking them all would be exhausting and this is already the longest meta I've ever written, but I want to get this off my chest and then I'm going to continue ignoring any asks about him and the people who try to fight over him. Why is Catra more sympathetic (and canonically more redeemed) than Hordak? Here are a few big reasons, though there are many more and this is in no way comprehensive:

1. Kadroh. He was raised in exactly the same environment as Hordak. We don't know what position he held, but he was considered high enough to be on Prime's mothership. He learns the truth about Prime merely by finding out that he has factually lied and by "reading" information about Prime's invasion of Krytis. He, with very little prompting, immediately turns on Prime.

We don't see the exact circumstances with which Hordak arrived on Etheria, but it is implied that he told Scorpia that her grandfather took him into his kingdom - showing him the same kind of compassion that Entrapta showed Kadroh - and then her grandfather joined the Horde gave the kingdom to Hordak. This is pretty obviously a lie or stripped of context in some way because it would be a completely illogical move for a monarch to give their kingdom to a stranger, but it implies that Hordak was initially taken in by the people of Etheria, and thus got a similar introductory level of kindness upon being separated from Prime as Kadroh did.

Hordak had even more information against Horde Prime than Kadroh did - he knew he wasn't infallible because he created the "imperfect" Hordak, he knew what Prime's war looked like on a high level and on the ground, and he even knew that Prime wanted him to die and hated him personally, which is a far worse position than Kadroh was in - and yet, instead of turning against Prime as Kadroh did, he decided the best course of action was to start his own war to prove his worth and then return to him. You can put that down to differences in personalities somewhat, but you would be remiss to ignore the fact that they are both clones and were members of the hive mind.

2) Hordak never acknowledges that the Horde is evil - Catra does so in the pilot. Catra cares that the Horde is evil, she has been hurt by them herself, but she doesn't know any other life. Hordak knows even more about what the Horde has done than Catra and he doesn't care that it is evil. I know some of his fans claim that he does, but that is an idea completely created by fanon and never stated in the show. He talks of Prime with awe - Catra talks of Hordak with fear and resentment from episode one.

3) Prime reveals there was a time when Hordak wished Prime would never come for him. It isn't revealed when this was - it could be at any point in the series when things are going well for the Horde, or during a fleeting moment that he shared with Entrapta, or even a thought that became ever-present and started before the series itself. It does tell us this, though: Hordak was happy (or at least felt fulfilled enough) running his army and conquering Etheria.

Catra, by contrast, we rarely see happy in the Horde at all (as Scorpia says: The Crimson Waste was the first time she ever saw Catra happy, when Catra was completely removed from the Horde). Catra talks about how winning isn't even fun for her. She is at the top of Hordak's Horde, right beside him, and she is playing at big bad villain, but it isn't fulfilling her even after she was brought up as a child soldier and groomed for it. This isn't what she wanted - all she ever wanted was Adora.

Hordak, on the other hand, is triumphant, and we don't see that vindication crack in the same way that we do for Catra. Canonically, it isn't there. He is still reveling in destruction after causing it for at least two decades (Adora and Catra are both about 20 at this point, and Adora was taken by the Horde as a baby. We don't know how long they existed before that, so the war has been waging for a minimum of 2 decades but possibly more) whereas Catra isn't enjoying causing pain after only 2-3 years - and that's dismissing the fact that you can make an argument for how she never was at all.

4) Hordak doesn't make amends within the series. He fights Horde Prime to save Entrapta - which is definitely good, but it is also his only good act that we see. You can absolutely look at the trajectory of the series and say he improves as a person afterwards, learning to be good the same that Catra did over season 5, but we don't actually see it. We see Catra sacrifice her life on the chance that it will save Adora, all while thinking she is absolutely nothing to Adora (As Catra says in Noelle's fic: “She wouldn’t come back for me.”).

Hordak, knowing full well Entrapta still cares about him and did even when he was running the Horde (and thus might not demand he change much, if at all), saves her when she rather literally has the gun against her head, mere feet from him. The act that he takes is to attempt to kill Prime, thus freeing himself as well - by contrast, the act Catra made was to free someone else knowing that Prime would brainwash or murder her for it, with absolutely no expectation to survive herself. The magnitude of the acts is different. Hordak knew his action might win them the entire war - Catra knew she was sacrificing herself to keep Adora safe for just that moment. The fact that his redemptive act is smaller doesn't take away from it as an act, but it does mean it doesn't go as far to redeem him on it's own - and it is on its own.

I whole-heartedly believe that he does continue to improve after the end of the series given its trajectory thus far, but that is up to speculation, whereas Catra had a season to show us how she is now fighting for her friends and taking steps to control her anger, apologize, and better herself. Hordak's sacrifice comes right at the end of the series, so he has done less to redeem himself while creating more harm overall (a reminder that Noelle said the only person that Catra killed was maybe Tung Lashor, whereas Hordak has an entire nursery full of children that he orphaned).

5) We also get small moments of caring with Catra throughout the series - in flashbacks and in the various times where she saves or helps Adora, starting with season one (giving her back the sword, etc). She even thanks Scorpia for disobeying her at the end of White Out despite it losing her a chance at capturing She-ra. On the whole, we see a lot more small moments of humanity and caring from Catra than we do from Hordak, and we even see her extend kindness to multiple people such as Adora, Scorpia, and Glimmer. Hordak we only ever see be at all sympathetic with Entrapta, and honestly his scenes with her... skeeved me out as a survivor. I am not elaborating on this further, it's way too uncomfortable, and I will block you if you attempt to talk with me about it. Basically, the point here is that Catra is much more likable and even has relatable backstory as a childhood abuse victim (which I've already discussed).

6) Individual abusers need to take responsibility for their actions regardless of who started the cycle of abuse. Catra takes responsibility - she apologizes to people she has hurt (at least those that she can who aren't chipped), she recognizes when she snaps and takes a moment to calm herself, she fights against the Horde, and she genuinely believes what they are doing is wrong - she tells Adora in "Taking Control" that she "has to stop them" and then helps her do just that. We watch Catra begin to reform her actions and make amends. It takes no mental effort to know she will continue after the end of credits.

We don't get the same with Hordak. In the final season, he is also brainwashed and chipped, but he remains under for much longer. As a result, we never see him apologize, and we also never saw him be remorseful before that. He is not redeemed on the same level that Catra or Entrapta was. Entrapta we see trying to do the right thing in the final season after she also fought her friends and served the Horde, even if she isn't sure exactly how to fix things.

In a similar vein, Shadow Weaver never admits she was wrong, always claiming that she had to do what she did or even that her victims deserved it. She and Prime are clearly the most irredeemable characters of the show - they are completely irredeemable in my opinion, regardless of Shadow Weaver's last, self-serving sacrifice. Hordak is better than them, but that doesn't mean he doesn't rub a lot of people the wrong way as a man who hurt a lot of people, never made amends for it (in canon), and then is celebrated by a very vocal subset of the fandom.

7) Hordak is removed from Horde Prime in a totally different dimension when he perpetuates the cycle of abuse. Despite returning to Prime being his motivation, it is harder to say that Hordak is forced to perpetuate the cycle of abuse for Prime considering how far they are removed from each other by both time and space and the fact that Prime has already cast him aside.

Catra, in contrast, is always within the reach of punishment and consequence from her abusers, with the only semi-comparable moment of removable being when she was sent to the Crimson Waste, and then there was the thing with Shadow Weaver and Adora that changed the entire situation there, whereas Hordak did not have a similar gutpunch at the time.

Furthermore, Catra was sent on a suicide mission to the Waste - she wasn't supposed to survive, but she was given the hope that if she did and succeeded, she would be reinstated (a mercy granted to her by Entrapta, not Hordak, who seemingly gave that slim hope to her only because it would mean Entrapta wouldn't hate him for killing her friend. This way he has plausible deniability in her death). Hordak was sent to die by Prime with no hope or promise of return and instead of inventing his own freedom knowing the only life he had ever known was gone, he invented his own twisted redemption arc to come crawling back.

8) I'm not even going to get into discussing the gulf between the gay and/or female part of the fanbase and the straight and/or male part of the fanbase that sides with Hordak (he also has female fans, I won't deny that, but all of the ones that I have seen are either straight or bi and attracted to him, which is entirely different thing from in depth character analysis and might have no correlation with actually excusing his actions). However, I will say this: many people see an asshole that they know in Hordak. They can name a man who did the bare minimum (AKA stopped being an asshole with no apology or barely any, which is exactly what he does onscreen in canon, regardless of intent afterwards) and was immediately given the benefit of the doubt and excused for their actions.

It's annoying as hell to see someone given a free pass because they're a man who did the bare minimum, especially when people then attack Catra, who did more than he did to correct her mistakes. The way Catra is treated is a double standard rooted in centuries of misogyny and lesbophobia, whereas Hordak is a male character allowed to get away with the things male characters always get away with. What you are seeing Hordak "go through" (he isn't actually going through it, he isn't real) is only a portion of the vitriol aimed at Catra, any female characters with similar qualities, or even the female fans themselves. So yeah, a lot of the people in the fanbase don't like him, because they've seen him over and over, either in stories or in real life.

tldr; The long and short is that Hordak overall created more harm than Catra personally did, he is less sympathetic overall, he takes less responsibility for his actions, and he improves far less on screen (regardless of the intention for his continuing arc off screen). That is why people who like Catra can also dislike him.

[etheriadearie]

Shadow Weaver’s Death, Her True Abusiveness, And Her Final, Beautiful, Gift To Catra

::The resistance fighters stand in the failsafe chamber. Catra has just called Shadow Weaver out on her manipulation. Shadow Weaver reluctantly explains the danger of the failsafe, and then implores Adora to take it: even if she fails, Shadow Weaver says, she will save her friends, and the universe. As literally every other person in that room cries out against Adora taking the risk, Adora turns and says she will do it. Catra, dismayed, runs to her telling her that Shadow Weaver is sacrificing her, and demands to know why she's letting her do that. Adora tells Catra "Because even if she is, it's better than Prime getting the Heart and destroying the universe." Catra trembles in deathly fear, her face consumed in terrible realization: if Adora does as SW wishes, she will die. Shadow Weaver is trying to kill Adora. She knows this to her very soul, because... she is Shadow Weaver... And Adora is letting it happen…

Hi there, my name is Joel, and in this segment I'll be looking at Shadow Weaver's death, her being a child abuser, her terrible manipulations of Catra and Adora and the monstrous pains the two girls have to conquer to save themselves from her.

The main premise I'll be trying to explain here is that, like Horde Prime, Shadow Weaver is a villain of utmost seriousness. And, like Horde Prime, the girls will treat her as one, surpassing and defeating her once and for all. But it won't be with violence, but instead with love, creating a beautiful story of two people transcending their trauma and hurt through coming together over their love for one another.

I feel obliged to warn readers: this post will cover child abuse, even predatation (*not sexual, ie). It may be hard to read. Also warning: tl;dr, please consider at least sitting down to read this!

Finally, I know there are Shadow Weaver fans out there; that's good. Shadow Weaver is, at times, cool af. But, definitively a terrible person within the plot of the show.

So, even if you're a fan of Shadow Weaver, I still encourage you to read along because as we reveal her truth and the damage she deals to Catra and Adora, it makes her final moment so, so much more beautiful… and it gives entirely new meaning to her final... two… words….

Disclaimer time: Taking on Shadow Weavers death is ambitious for a first post, I know. But understanding her is crucial to understanding most of the major moments in this show. Still, I should say here that while this may seem a bit ‘head’ canon-y, I assure you my conclusions come from watching the show carefully and referencing the entirety of the rest of the show back to this one moment. I'm instead positing these as theories, and let's just say I feel I have the data, and Data Never Lies! Please *do* ask questions or seek calcifications in the comments or Ask me anything (I'm new to Tumblr).

----Part 1: Catra, Micah, and the Truth----

To start this journey we will travel backwards in the series to investigate the what and why of the terrible child abuse Catra suffered growing up under Shadow Weaver's care. We will be looking chiefly at the Light Spinner episode in the 2nd season. We will cover Catra's confrontation and SW's -supposed- explanation for her abuse, then the tale of Micah and Shadow Weaver's manipulation of him, and then the terrible truth of why Catra -really- was abused.

>A terribly alone Catra asks her abusive mother why she did it. Why did she treat her so badly ?

Shadow Weaver answers: "Because you remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me either. I wasn't born to power like Adora and... others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?"

This is a very typical reason for an abuser to feel they are acting out their abuse on others: no one in this world understands my pain, so therefore I will inflict my pain upon a child so that they will know my pain as well. For many people this is essentially the truth of their abusers. I can't see any other reason for MY abusers to do what they did, other than this. It is, however, not the truth about Catra. We will discuss this in detail later.

We then watch as Catra does a very strong and eloquent job of rejecting and condemning it. She shows great emotional pain as she does so, and we know that her trauma is severe from watching her. Catra exclaims, her face full of emotional hurt and pain at Shadow Weaver's betrayal: "I was a child when you took me in. What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me? I am nothing like you. You are old, and bitter, and weak."

Everything she says is perfectly true. As a child, there is no way she could have deserved the abuse Shadow Weaver inflicted on her. There never is. And she's also right when she says she's not anything like Shadow Weaver. Where Shadow Weaver is an unfeeling monster (as we will see), Catra feels deeply. Catra is inherently good, and while she will make terrible mistakes to come, she feels intense remorse. Shadow Weaver simply does not.

So, Shadow Weaver gives Catra a believable reason for the abuse, which, again, is a lie. But... there is meaning which we need to take from her choice of words: Shadow Weaver feels others, like Adora and Micah, are given an unfair advantage over people like herself. We will come back to this important insight soon...

Before we get to the real, harsh truth of why Catra was abused, we need to understand the tale of Micah and ‘Light Spinner’-‘s manipulation of him to get power.

>The story of Micah seems to be full of whimsy and childlike innocence. A young boy is talented beyond his years, a true prodigy. SW trains him, giving him access to teachings beyond what a sorcerer of his age should have. She tells him he's special, a true talent, like her. When she tells him "the guild needs talents like OURS more than ever before" she manipulates him, making him feel apart, better than all the other students and teachers, and that only SW can understand. It's SW's greatest talent: dividing people against each other, and this is part of her lifelong manipulation of Catra and Adora. Note: Castaspella accuses SW of mind controlling Micah (s5e8) to which SW responds "My gifts were always far subtler than that” - SW controls young Micah through mind games.

>SW hints of something of great importance, but then says "you're not ready". Micah demands to know, he's a special boy after all, right? He's so incredibly naive and innocent, doing things like chewing on magic crystals and acting out in class. He is, in fact, exactly the kind of privileged child who SW so greatly hates. This is where we get real meaning out of SW's supposed explanation for abusing Catra: Micah has inborn power that SW feels he is unworthy of possessing...

She preys upon his naiveness, showing him the Horde army. He, of course, demands they be stopped, and he's playing right into her hands. When she tells him the plan and of the upcoming meeting she tells him "I only hope that Norwyn and his followers can see the threat as clearly as YOU do." Again, she is making him feel apart, as though he's better than others. After all, he's a special little prodigy, right ?

SW gives her presentation at the council, trying to prey upon their fear by saying that the Horde have a rune stone. As she speaks of the spell of obtainment, her eyes are full of lust at the idea of so much power. But it is forbidden, and for good reason. As she looks over her shoulder at Norwyn her look is severe, accusing. She has no respect for him. And he's right to say that the problem will be handled: the war, in fact, does become a stalemate and stays that way all the way up until we are first introduced to Catra and Adora. Angrily, greedily, she demands they get power so they can 'have a planet to protect'.

She fails to convince them, but of course Micah sees her leaving the meeting, angry and frustrated, so he comes to her aide. "They never listen to me. After all I've done I still haven't earned their trust". Again, SW is set apart from them. When she says "they just want to hold the rest of us back" she's including Micah, making him feel separate, better, like her. She's indoctrinating him in her plan.

>We get a scene between Catra and SW here, where Catra tries to get SW to give her a reason to save her. All SW wants to know is when she's being sent to Beast Island: she realizes she has to escape that night. She sets out to manipulate Catra into giving her the reagent she needs to escape. SW talks up how weak and powerless she is, preying on Catra's lingering pity, desire for connection. A emotionally desperate Catra unfortunately gives it to her. Catra tells her "you don't get to ask things of me anymore" but she's desperate and depressed, feeling totally alone after so recently seeing Adora and consequently nearly dying the episode before, only to be saved by Scorpia's caring about her.

>And apprehensive Micah asks SW if she's sure this is a good idea. She tells him "WE need this power, it's the only way to protect our people". It's a lie, but Micah thinks he's special because he's SW's apprentice, and so he agrees to do it.

As the spell begins to work, we see a terrifying eldritch horror type of creature summoned. It soon breaks free even as Micah helps SW try to contain it. SW acts surprised to see it, but she always knew this spell. Micah runs, and SW stays, yelling angrily at Micah for leaving. She experiences fear as it consumes her, but she knows it's part of getting her power. This is the price she pays to become powerful. She tells Micah he betrayed her by abandoning her and yet, what other possible outcome was there but for them BOTH to be destroyed or corrupted? Norwyn tries to stand up to her, telling her "bringing you into our ranks was a grave mistake". She counters calling him a fool. "You're all weak. None of you deserve my help".

I often see people say this show doesn't show death, but what happens next is undeniably so: it is murder. She annihilates two sorcerer's in one hit, consumes the head sorcerer to give her more magical power. It is pure evil. As she realizes her new power she exclaims "The spell worked. I am stronger than ALL of you." She menaces Micah.

This. Was. Always. The. Plan. The spell worked, she says so herself. Micah tries to defend himself weakly against her, he's entirely at her mercy. He expects death, but instead she caresses his cheek, touches his ear. Then she gives him a look of disdain. It's no mistake she covers half her face even at this point in her history, so we can't know her full emotions. But it's clear, she condescends to him: he was a naive little pawn, not meant to survive, or at minimum, he was supposed to become corrupted like her. But it doesn't matter. She got what she wanted. So she leaves him to live knowing what he's done. The tale of ‘Light Spinner’ has ended: her better persona was just an illusion, useful in her goal of obtaining more power. An empowered Shadow Weaver then shows up at the Fright Zone, killing the guard as a demonstration of power. She declares herself for Hordak, and at least a partial truth is apparent: she wanted the vampiric power so she could channel the Black Garnet. Changing sides bothers SW not at all.

I point out SW’s violence because it is the only time they show any graphic death in this show, and it's therefore meant to show that SW is different, and dangerous. There really was no ‘Light Spinner’, as at multiple moments during her time at Mystacor her true emotions show through (such as pic1, top) and they are both vile and malicious, to put it lightly. Furthermore, note that SW going to the Horde doesn't end up ensuring their victory over the princesses, so yes, in fact, SW was lying to Micah all along. Last, keep in mind Micah’s opinion of her later on: SW is never to be trusted.

Now it's time to get back to the real reason Catra was abused and it's important implications for Adora's abuse as well.

>The scene following Catra's confrontation with SW, we see baby Adora having just arrived in the Fright Zone. SW walks past her, not particularly interested... and yet she sees something in her. And so she takes interest. She knows, in some way, that Adora will wield powerful magic, and since it also becomes clear to us that SW knows all about the past history of She-ra and the Heart of Etheria, it's a logical jump to say she probably thinks Adora is She-ra. Either way, Adora is a powerful orphan child with inborn talent beyond any normal expectation.

Sound familiar? The tale of Micah is there to inform this moment: SW meeting baby Adora. She is in a position to wield ultimate control over a magically privileged child. And the implications are not good...

Apologies to readers here, this next part is intense. Just a quick warning. The total implication of this is that SW never loved Adora, just like she didn't care about Micah. It is all manipulation, and it should be noted that at this point SW has switched to a full mask, conveniently hiding all emotion except a sliver of her eyes (as well as hiding her corrupted features). It's now almost entirely impossible to accurately read her emotions. I don't think she wants you to, as she really has no feelings of actual compassion. She only sees Adora as a privileged child she will use and then discard for her own power.

This means she is, in fact, a child predator. In this case, she's a predator of children of privilege, but the effect is the same: she sees such children as easy targets for her to manipulate for her own gain. Worse, the strong emotional feelings which Adora naturally feels towards those around her makes her easier to control, and SW manipulates this vulnerability against her, as a child and then again as they are headed for the failsafe.

So, returning to the real truth of why SW abused Catra. Let's take a look back at Catra’s condemnation of SW's explanation for her abuse, and it's just one line we need to understand: "I was a child, what could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?" As it turns out, Catra -did- do something, and you have to adore and appreciate this show because we don't get this answer until the very end. Before season 5 was available, it would simply be impossible to understand Catra's story fully. The creators want you to come full circle of so many understandings, the story is that deep.

It's that one, beautiful, follow on line when Catra confesses her love to Adora- She says "I always have"...

Adora was Shadow Weaver's tool, her next prey. So, along comes Catra, who experiences romantic love for Adora right from the start. Beautiful, total love and devotion. SW sees this, and she decides that she can't let Catra be a hindrance to her plans. And yet she knows she can't kill Catra outright or risk losing Adora's affection. So she hurts Catra, tries to make her weak, to diminish her. She is trying to crush Catra's spirit, her will to live, all while making sure to instill a sense of duty and ambition in Adora which makes her less available to Catra. The abuse works, but not on Catra. Catra stays loyal to Adora, and is so secretly strong within herself in such a way that SW fails to destroy her spirit, although Catra has such incredible trauma from it that we see her struggle with it throughout the rest of the series.

But the abuse does work on Adora and so she grows apart from Catra in such a way that Catra eventually comes to feel Adora doesn't love her. And when Adora so clearly breaks the final half of the promise she made to Catra, Catra too, grows apart from Adora.

Catra therefore represents a person in this story who would have been so entirely below SW's notice that had she not loved Adora the way she did, SW would never have taken the time to hurt her. It wouldn't have been worth her time, and Catra would have had a happy(ish) childhood if not for loving Adora. By the way, this truth of SW's abuse of Catra is indeed confirmed in the show, but we don't have time to cover it here and it deserves its own theory post, anyways.

Before we get back to s5 let's take a brief moment to address SW's abuse of Adora: Adora is the kind of person who can't help but empathetically feel the pain of others when they feel it, and it's what makes her to be so unable to balance her own needs against those of others who are hurting. And so SW making Adora have ambition, to want to win at the expense of others, is actually a frightening manipulation. SW teaches Adora to believe she has to do this in order to be the leader, and then as the leader she must protect everyone else from harm. Adora goes on to show great emotional confusion over this, as she doesn't really feel she’s qualified to be that leader. It makes her feel alone from everyone else, and makes Adora worry about every decision she makes. SW essentially saddles Adora with a lonely burden of leadership, one which she's not well suited for. Adora has a very ADHDish (I’m no expert on ADHD) response to this where she bounces around trying to satisfy everyone else’s feelings, such as within their unit, and so her relationship with Catra suffered because of this.

To sum up, the abuses SW inflicts on the two of them results in their division from each other, and it's a division which tries to tear down both girls spiritually throughout this series. They each have specific traumas relating to Shadow Weaver's abuse of them. These are different, damaging fears SW instilled in each of them to make them easier to control. Because of this, both girls contribute to their separation to the two different sides of the war, and it's only through the great emotional learning of each of them that they are able to start putting it back again in season 5. And so, we will see that when SW returns in season 5, she immediately tries to pick up where she left off… to drive them apart from each other and manipulate them, once again, for her own gain.

Side note #2 before we get back to season 5: SW has a complete and total lack of love for Catra as well. Her callous manipulation of Catra, followed by leaving the fright zone like she did, was a spiritual blow and then a death sentence for Catra. SW would know this and yet she simply did not care. Furthermore, when they meet in Moment of Truth (s3ep4), SW again tries to kill Catra, only stopping short because Glimmer can't withstand the magical drain SW is taking from her. She's just not good people... And if she has such a total lack of love or compassion for Catra, it's a logical jump that she has just as little love and feeling for Adora.

Anyways... let's work on that season 5, phew, I know this is long. We're not done yet, though...

----Part 2: The present up till SW’s Death----

Alright, so returning back to season 5 where we began...

Catra is certain that SW is killing Adora. And the reason Catra is so certain of this is because she understands this fundamental truth behind the childhood abuse of of her and Adora. She knows that SW intended to use Adora, and was grooming her in order to use her to gain more power. And, she knows the true nature of SW’s abuse of Catra herself, that it was meant to destroy her so she wouldn't get in the way of SW using Adora.

How exactly Catra knows this I won't cover here, it would take too long and it deserves its own theory post. But, it is pretty well confirmed in the show as well. No distractions! Moving on...

So… when Adora tells Catra she will take the failsafe even though SW is killing her, it's Catra’s knowledge that SW is for certain doing this to Adora which leads Catra to shake in fear, and then refuse Adora once she returns with the failsafe. This moment goes much deeper than just Catra knowing she can't live without Adora, although that is also true.

Ok so here it is, the big theme we will now delve into, that explains so much:

The all important, crucial thing that Catra isn't seeing is that in order for SW to sacrifice Adora, it is entirely dependent on abusive manipulations is SW doing to both of them, starting from the moment they first see SW in season 5, which are intended to make sure Adora doesn't survive deploying the failsafe.

I know it's a tough implication to accept, but I promise to explain. So why? Why would SW not want Adora to survive? This, atleast, should be obvious: She-ra could stop SW once she has the power, so She-ra is an enemy that SW needs to eliminate to achieve ultimate power. So, SW's goal is to get Adora to bring the failsafe to the heart, but then be too weak to survive the process... leaving SW the uncontested champion by her magical vampiric powers. And so... SW manipulates the two girls, doing her most familiar trick: driving them apart, making them feel isolated from each other.

Her manipulations begin from the very moment Catra and Adora see her in season 5, and they continue up until Adora accepts the failsafe and a bit beyond.

So let's lay this out from the beginning, shall we? Episode 10: When SW walks into the room, saying she knows where the failsafe is, Catra is at first surprised at her appearance, she's thrown off guard. Catra very much wanted to stop SW once and for all, but never got the chance. And now, the new, more feeling Catra is faced with her oldest enemy: she can't hide her hatred and anger at her. It pretty much takes everything she's got not to violently attack her right there and then. But this new Catra isn't going to sink to that low. And yet... SW will intentionally aggravate and attack Catra to reactivate her trauma.

What I find very interesting about that scene, though, is that both Glimmer and Adora immediately look to Catra, knowing she will be upset, both trying to help her. And yet, it's Glimmer who looks first.

Even though Glimmer never says it out loud, Glimmer knows SW played and manipulated Glimmer herself, and that her manipulations were ultimately the reason that Glimmer made the mistake of activating the Heart, which brought Horde Prime's fleet down upon Etheria. Glimmer also watched SW torture and almost kill Catra in s3ep4, so I think Glimmer knows very well how dangerous SW is and how badly she's hurt Catra in the past. Instead, we can take the story of Glimmer and SW as another stand out example of how, once again, we saw SW manipulate someone, Glimmer in this case, with no concern for her well being.

>Adora is also thrown off by SW's reappearance, she doesn't enjoy seeing her either. But then, she also sympathetically looks to Catra, knowing this is a hurtful moment for her. All of this is to say that Catra actually has strong allies against SW, unlike in the past. And it's very important that Adora is such a staunch ally to Catra against SW, in fact it's everything. But, Adora doesn't quite do a good enough job in showing Catra how strongly aligned she, too, is against SW. Unintentional though it may be, as we will see.

>Episode 11: Continuing on, Glimmer immediately opposes SW's desire to use the heart's power. Castaspella tries to say SW is the lesser of evils, but of course, Castaspella is just a pawn. Catra jumps on Casta's words, calling SW evil... SW taunts her back mockingly and we see Catra's anger start to get out of control. But, Adora knows, one way or another, that SW is the root of all of Catra's pain, and so she comforts her, showing her that she sees her pain, and that she's got her back.

Again, it's very important that Adora is Catra's greatest ally against SW, as she has learned to treat SW as a de facto enemy because she has seen the pain and torment Catra experienced because of SW’s abuse; in addition to her own knowledge of how SW manipulated herself as a child.

>Adora confronts SW, asking why she even needs their help getting the failsafe. SW answer is a lie, but plays to her manipulation of Casta, who she needs: she says she can't get past Micah. (Note: who she actually needs is Adora.) As SW tells her plan she leans into Adora's emotional fears of letting others get hurt and reminds Adora she has to be the hero, SW even touches Adora, which we see Catra react angrily to. But, SW successfully manipulates Adora into accepting her plan, and Catra can't stand to watch it as she knows it must somehow be a dangerous manipulation. Catra quietly leaves to try to process her anger. We then see Adora slap SW's hand away, showing defiance, but as Catra has left, she probably doesn't see that. Adora looks around and sees that Catra is gone, which SW responds to by trying to manipulate her into leaving Catra behind, as she knows Adora is more vulnerable without Catra around. But Adora is wary of SW's manipulations, and goes after Catra. SW is aggravated by this.

>The two girls have a very good, emotional talk about SW. Catra is dismayed, but Adora is always brave for others, so she tells her she's got to try. Adora acknowledges Catra's pain, their pain, from SW's abuse. Ultimately Adora convinces Catra to come. Together, Adora says SW can't hurt them anymore. Catra reminds Adora how dangerous SW is, but the girls have reaffirmed their bond, their promises to each other. Which is important later, as this will come up again.

>As they infiltrate Mystacore, Catra is apprehensive and stays at the back. But as the mission progresses she drifts towards the front, trying to be the lookout so she can protect Adora. This, unfortunately, puts her in physical proximity to SW when they check the ritual chamber. Catra checks the chamber, but then a sorcerer appears out of nowhere (literally, how??) and SW grabs her in a way that's very reminiscent of s1ep2, traumatizing her.

I can't help but conclude SW is being intentionally hurtful in order to unnerve Catra. She could have just pointed, or put her hand to Catra's mouth, after all. Catra throws herself away from SW, demanding she not touch her, and makes the mistake of dropping the spell and revealing their presence. Look closely at this scene and you see Adora actually shows great anger, even violent intent towards SW for doing this to Catra, but it's so quick Catra probably doesn't see it, as she's staring down SW instead.

Under a track, Adora tries to become She-ra, but she's too emotionally conflicted since the episode before when they returned to the Fright Zone and Adora started to realize she's been letting Catra down, leaving her hanging. And SW's hurting of Catra also blocks Adora, she's trying to help Catra and yet she's accepting SW's guidance again, which she knows Catra hates and doesn't trust.

>As they pass through the door and continue down a corridor, Adora sees Catra is in emotional pain and holding herself, so she lends her emotional support. She knows SW touching her was incredibly abusive. She tells Catra that it'll be ok, and to trust her, hitting her with her dearest look of love and care for her. She knows SW is Catra's enemy, and she's got her back. Catra looks back, trying to trust her, to put her fear aside. But the moment is cut short when SW interrupts them, guilting Catra for revealing their presence. Adora walks on, saying they have to keep moving, and her face says she's doing it to stop SW from talking to Catra, but again, Catra doesn't see Adora's face. Catra feels left behind, that the moment was cut short. It's by the barest off margins Catra is missing how strongly Adora is coming down against SW for her sake.

> We get more information about SW's corruption next, that it's a way to bypass the crystal of Arxia and get at Heart of Etheria's energy, and we know this because it's discussed immediately after Castaspella tells them about the crystal of Arxia. So, if the magic is released, SW will have practically unlimited power. SW just mocks Casta when she tries to guilt SW over using the spell, she gives no apology. We see both Catra and Glimmer seemingly have a deeper realization about SW and her powers and that both of them look disturbed by it.

>Continuing on, we get the scene where Catra saves Adora from fire, which is so cute but I'll skip the romantic implications: as Catra walks through the fire, Adora stops and frets over not knowing what to do about Catra, how to give her what she wants. Adora is worried she's going to fail, that she could die. It's Adora's biggest, lifelong fear as the bearer of She-ra, and she struggles with it continuously throughout the series. To her, it therefore doesn't make sense to her to get Catra's hopes up too soon.

>Adora's thoughts naturally turn to her inability to transform... and SW pounces on the opportunity in order to exploit it.

Consider now, if Adora's problem is becoming She-ra, why does SW immediately give her a hard time about Catra, instead? Adora rejects SW's criticism, but SW flips the conversation telling Adora she can't be a weak She-ra and seemingly blaming it all on Catra. She tells Adora that her weakness means she's letting everyone else down. SW tells her she has to focus, and Catra makes her weak. This is terribly the opposite of the truth and SW knows this. What she’s really doing is a deep manipulation of Adora that leans on her early abuse of her: Adora has to be perfect for everyone else, and as she's the only one who can do it, she's totally alone in this burden. The truth is that Adora has always needed other people, that's where she draws strength from. Catra loves Adora simply for who she is: she represents the strongest, smartest and most dedicated person, ie, she's the most powerful person to help Adora with her emotional need for support.

Which SW knows, so she does her best to try to separate them, to make Adora think she's alone. SW does this by grouping Catra with everyone else: save everyone, or no one. Then she delivers a direct assault of Adora spiritually by saying "the world needs She-ra right now, not Adora". She's telling Adora that she doesn't matter, only She-ra matters, and she needs to be willing to give it all up to be that hero. We see Adora search SW's face, she's not satisfied and then she does her best to reject her, pulling her hand away in anger while saying she will stop Prime “no matter what.” Catra is eavesdropping on this, but can't see that Adora stands up to SW so strongly... as usual. Catra knows SW is up to no good with it, though. Doubt takes root in Adora, and it aggravates her fears that she's not good enough to be She-ra.

>Arriving at the failsafe chamber, SW gives away just how much she already knows about the Heart. SW explains the failsafe, and so we know she always planned on getting Adora to accept the failsafe, risking it all. Adora approaches, trying to be brave for everyone else.

One of Catra's most important moments follows: she stops Adora from accepting the failsafe, and calls SW out for her bullshit. She's not going to let Adora walk into a trap when she knows better. Catra flips it on SW, telling her to take the failsafe, making SW tell them why it's dangerous, why SW won't do it herself. She points out how SW knows too much, yet didn't pursue the power of the failsafe. Catra is totally certain that SW wants to hurt Adora, and so she's calling her out to get SW to reveal her manipulation of Adora.

SW instead tries to guilt Adora, saying she alone understands that this is the only way to stop Prime. But Catra stands firm, she protects Adora from SW's manipulation as best she can.

Confronted and trapped by Catra's having seen through her plan, we see literally every person in the room ally themselves against SW. SW is forced to admit the truth: using the failsafe will mean death even for She-ra, if she isn't strong enough.

And so Adora realizes what's coming, that She-ra is the only one who can do it. She's terrified and sad at the thought that this could, will, be her end; that she really will have to give it all up for everyone else. She's always thought she'd have to. It's a deep held belief that she's alone in her burden as She-ra.

Adora asks the obvious question: What happens if I die? SW's next words prey upon Adora's every weakness, her lack of belief in her self worth, and innate need to protect others: "Then the magic will be restored to Etheria, through your sacrifice. You will give us the power to bring us to victory. Prime will be defeated. Your friends will be free." SW is listing out every last thing that will happen if Adora doesn't do it, and each is a part of her greatest fears. Adora is unable to resolve between her distrust of SW and need to protect and be brave for everyone else's sake. SW has her trapped by her own emotions.

Catra looks on, watching the manipulation, seeing the consequences of Adora attempting this. Everything about this moment speaks to manipulations SW has used on Adora before: she preys on emotional need and weakness, she isolates Adora in her burden, she even does the dreaded ear touch. If Adora does what SW says, Catra knows it'll be the death of her.

As SW completes her manipulation, everyone in the room cries out against the unfair decision Adora must make. And yet, Adora doesn't see a choice. Catra puts it best, saying: "you don't care about Adora, Adora can't even care about herself!"

But Bow's words also have meaning: "Theres no way we're risking Adora like that." For all that Bow and Glimmer have done for Adora, she's still supposed to be the champion that's going to save them. They need things from her, not simply Adora as herself. All in all, Bow and Glimmer did their absolute and kindest best to help Adora, often emotionally supporting her through her depressions and fears of not being a good She-ra. But in the end, they still needed her to be She-ra.

But Catra is different, all she wants is Adora, and for her to be safe and loved, and ideally, to be with her. Catra's opinion in this moment is the true one, the most honest. But Adora can't overcome the thought of failing everyone, and so she pushes forward, saying she will take the failsafe.

Adora is feeling alone, trapped by fate. Catra runs to her, literally shaking her in order to try to convey how sure she is that Adora is going to die if she does this. But Adora can't let the universe die, and she's She-ra. She (Adora) doesn't matter. It's only what she can do to try to fix things for others that matters, her hero's burden. Adora pushes Catra's hands off her, in a lifetime of pain and sorrow Catra has never looked so sad. Adora really is pushing her away, not seeing how seriously Catra feels, how badly she needs Adora to understand her in this moment. A dissociated Adora looks internally, accepting her fate, alone again, isolated.

Maybe Catra could have found a way to get through to Adora, but they run out of time. A chipped Micah shows up and begins to systematically defeat them, and Adora has no more time to choose. SW is easily taken down by Micah, it shows his anger at her. He taunts her, she's got nowhere to hide. This is interesting, but not our focus..

Adora again tries to summon She-ra and fails. She simply can't resolve between her sense of failure to Catra and her need to be brave for everyone else. She looks to Catra, decides to do the brave thing as herself, not as She-ra, even if it means she will fail, and hurt Catra. After all, since she’s She-ra, she has to try, right? This is her burden.

As SW turns to Adora and says "the failsafe... we... we can't" Adora is pressed by urgency, doing what she can. Catra tries one last desperate plea: "Please. It doesn't always have to be you!" Adora can't accept this, internally she is certain she has to save everyone. Even if this includes SW herself, and so when Catra later says Adora chose SW, not her in this moment, Catra is right, except that Adora believed she had no choice. Adora is also the only one in this moment who can reach the failsafe, and so it seems like fate is against her. Adora knows she's probably choosing to die, and if she does, she knows Catra will probably die of a broken heart as well. She really does choose SW over Catra, in a way. It's a tough moment, but taking the failsafe is the right thing to do, given the circumstances.

Receiving the failsafe is intense, and as Adora tries to withstand it, Micah binds the entire party with dark magic. Interestingly, this means SW indoctrinated Micah more than we're shown, and now that he's chipped, he is uninhibited.

Adora sees everyone is in danger, if she doesn't come through now it's all over. It gives her that singular focus she needs, summoning She-ra is easy because if she doesn't, Catra, all of them, are about to die.

Failsafe achieved, Micah vanquished, Adora offers Catra her hand, she's trying to show Catra she's there for her, they are together. But Catra rejects her, she's too sure that SW has won, that Adora will die. In this moment all the old trauma Catra carries is too strong, and SW has unnerved her too greatly. As Catra runs from her, Adora realizes that Catra was trying to tell her something deeper, but somehow she's missed it.

>Catra watches Adora sleep, she's emotionally distraught at the thought of her dying. So, she tries to sneak away. Adora finds out, and manages to confront Catra before she can leave. This is one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful scenes about love in this show, but I'll just cover how SW's manipulations come into play...

>Adora tackles Catra, and demands she explain why she’s leaving. Catra throws SW's words back at Adora, that she's a distraction, that she makes Adora too weak to be She-ra. Catra knows this was a unfair manipulation by Shadow Weaver, but she couldn't see, only hear, what happened between Shadow Weaver and Adora. She doesn't know that Adora rejected Shadow Weaver so strongly, both spiritually and by violently pulling away from her. Adora tries her best to get Catra to see that she's not doing this because of Shadow Weaver's manipulation, that she's trying to rise above SW's control of her. But Catra pushes her away, instead trying to speak to a more central truth: Adora's need to serve everyone else's needs, her inability to regulate her desire to make things better for others who are hurting or will get hurt, and balance that against her own needs and safety. She's speaking to the part of Adora which Shadow Weaver is exploiting to get what she wants from her, to control her. It doesn't really matter in this moment to Catra whether Adora is doing it for Shadow Weaver or not, because either way Adora is allowing Shadow Weaver to win. Catra wants Adora to be better than a slave to her emotional need to help others no matter the cost or danger. She's asking Adora to be strong in herself in a way Adora has never been able to be. She challenges her, asking "What do you want, Adora?" The obvious answer, Catra believes, is her. But Adora is too worried she will die and let Catra down to let her romantic feelings about Catra manifest and make it real between them, and taking the failsafe has made Adora all the more doubtful of her own survival. Adora counters "I have to do this Catra, I'm the only one who can." It's all to say that Adora is alone in her burden, and she accepts it and its consequences because she's She-ra. Adora doesn't believe she has value, or deserves happiness unless she can save everyone, including Catra.

Adora believes as She-ra, she is totally alone in her burden. This is wrong of course, Catra does see her and understands her burden, and is the one person in the world who wishes to share that load with her, unlike the other princesses who need Adora to be a hero and save them. But both girls are weak from their deep traumas which Shadow Weaver has reaggravated, and they can't overcome them. Catra resigns herself to the belief that Adora is unable to rise above her most basic emotional need to serve others, telling her "Then do it. That's what you want, that's what you'll always choose." She can't stand to watch Adora kill herself so willingly to serve everyone else, all while letting SW win. She rejects Adora, and turns to leave. Adora desperately begs Catra to stay, wanting her to uphold their promise and telling her she needs her, but is unable to vocalize her desire to be with Catra romantically. Meanwhile, in Catra's mind, Adora is just going to let herself die, and if she does, then Adora never really needed her after all... all Adora cares about is being She-ra. It's harsh, but true... even if what she's doing about it is so wrong.

It's a painful moment for both of them, and it's horrible because Catra is so clearly breaking their promise, the one that Adora restored to Catra she came to rescue her from Horde Prime. And yet, her leaving will work in the end. Catra gets Adora to see how crucial it is that she not let Shadow Weaver win, to let Shadow Weaver get whatever she wants by taking that cost from Adora's own life. And it's how Adora finally becomes too strong for Shadow Weaver to ever manipulate again.

>As Adora returns to camp, still crying from Catra's abandonment, Shadow Weaver tries to swoop in and make her manipulations of Adora take their final hold. She tells Adora she "made the right choice, don't let Catra convince you otherwise, she's never understood." Dreaded ear touch and all. By saying Catra can't understand, Shadow Weaver tries to make Adora feel alone in her burden as She-ra, seeking to weaken her spirit. But we see a total shift in Adora's attitude as she rejects SW’s cruelty and manipulations entirely. Her words carry incredible weight and speak to how she's so clearly seen through SW's malicious manipulations of the two of them. "Stop. I will never forgive you. You ruin people. You ruin any chance they could ever be happy." Adora just watched Catra reject her and abandon her because she couldn't stand to lose Adora again over SW's manipulations. It's by knowing Catra's pain that Adora is able to finally deny Shadow Weaver any sliver of control over her. As always, Adora couldn't do it for herself, she couldn't resolve between her deeper need to save everyone and SW's plans to use her for her own gain. But Adora is strong for others, and so she's strong for Catra. By leaving, Catra has given Adora the ability to rise above any manipulation Shadow Weaver can do to her.

Adora stands up to Shadow Weaver once and for all in her next words: "I'm going to take the failsafe to the heart, and I'm going to save Etheria. But I am not doing it for you. I'll do everything I can to make sure you never get your hands on the magic." (pic1, fyi) Note the exact words Adora speaks here as we will return to them later, they are important. While Adora has seen past SW’s manipulations, and seen that Shadow Weaver only ever desired power, she doesn't realize how SW's childhood abuse of her and attempts to manipulate her in the present are making her too weak to survive deploying the failsafe. To get past that, Catra must help Adora.

EPISODE 12: We watch as Adora struggles to become She-ra, but eventually manages it. She's seen through SW's plan after all, and so she does her best to believe she is strong enough to win on her own, to survive the heart. But she misses Catra desperately. She rallies her people, and ends her speech by saying resolutely that she will take the failsafe to the Heart and destroy it. It's an incredible speech, Adora has become a wonderful leader, but then she looks up and sees Shadow Weaver hiding in the back. As SW meets her gaze, She-ra's form falters and we see Adora's face for a split second. She's furious at her, that she hurt Catra so badly that she ran away.

Adora moves away from the group so they don't see her lose her She-ra form because of the turmoil she feels over Shadow Weaver and losing Catra. Bow and Glimmer check on Adora, knowing she has a tendency to try to sneak away so people won't see her risk her life. Glimmer is perceptive and asks about Catra, she knows it's Catra that Adora needs, that her being gone is tearing Adora up inside. Glimmer is a great friend to the both of them. Adora voices concern for their safety if they come with her, but Bow and Glimmer know Adora needs support. And so they will try their best, even though they know Adora is heartbroken from Catra leaving her.

>Buoyed by their support, Adora goes to the ruins to try to face her final task, to overcome it through her own strength alone. Bow and Glimmer take her hands, we see Adora does her best to set her fear aside. And yet, as they enter she wonders where Catra is, whether she will come back to honor their promise.

>Catra looks back, also experiencing pain over their separation. She has not been able to overcome her trauma, and manage her feelings. Well isn't it just nice to have a telepathic therapy pet! Melog stops, and forces her to actualize her feelings and process them. At first Catra tries to deny them, saying she won't go back, but Melog sits on her. She cries, saying out loud her deepest feelings. Let's take this one in steps. "You saw what happened, A-Adora chose Shadow Weaver, not me". In a very real sense Adora did do this, she pushed Catra away in the failsafe chamber. She ignored Catra's warnings and, in Catra's mind, committed herself to death at the hands of SW's manipulation. The next line is one of the most important in the series, but we will only cover it briefly as it's romantic implications are best discussed elsewhere: "Adora doesn't want me, not like I want her." We get to see one of the most honest truths about Catra: she is an intensely romantic person, and has always had the most incredible dreams of them being together. But a lifetime of pain has told Catra that it can't be real, or atleast, not for her. It is deep seated trauma that blocks her, trauma Shadow Weaver started and then aggravated against her, making her leave Adora just moments before. Catra is, in a word, furious that she's come this far, having dared to dream once again that the two of them could be together and in love, only to have SW come in and take that from her once again.

Let's take a moment to consider how Catra is doing as she adapts to her new emotional way of dealing with the world, as she has shifted her perspective since rejoining Adora: The old Catra might have simply struck SW down, maybe even killed her to remove the threat. But now, Catra doesn't want to do that but is expected to trust in Adora’s ability to overcome the threat through her inner strength, and the through the strength of her community. But, as far as Catra could see, Adora just accepted her death as necessary rather than fighting SW’s manipulations. And this worries her, and it's why it's so important to Catra that she not let Shadow Weaver win, so Catra leaves to make sure Adora gets the message. She's wrong to do this, and she realizes this after opening up to Melog. Adora needs Catra to have faith in her, because without her support, there's no chance Adora overcomes what Shadow Weaver is trying to do to her.

>Glimmer watches the doubt play across Adora's face. She doesn't know how to make it better, since Catra isn't with them. She asks her if she's scared, and Adora answers back as truthfully as she can: "No, I just really hope this works." She's putting on a good face while trying to believe there's a chance, but when Bow tells her it's going to be a whole new world when she's done, Adora doubts. Can she even survive? Will Catra be gone forever? The next scene is, of course, very romantic. We see that Adora has always loved Catra, just like Catra loves Adora. The magic is trying to remind Adora of her own desires, her wants. Let's not get too distracted though: as Adora moves on, vowing to not let the magic distract her, we see her She-ra form falter, she's still fighting despair and loneliness. Bow and Glimmer don't know what to do...

>Catra sees Horde Prime begin hacking the planet and knows Adora is in grave danger of not succeeding in her last, unselfish mission before Prime stops her. Catra can't let this happen, also, since Melog has helped her process her emotional pain, she's ready to support Adora in any way she can, even if it means her hopes and dreams of them being together will be unfulfilled. She tries to rush to her side.

>Adora is panicking and unable to resolve her feelings of failure to Catra, She-ra is in danger of fading again. She sees the sword as she saw it back when she first left Catra, her hand goes to the failsafe on her chest, the thing that made Catra reject her after she accepted it. She tells Bow and Glimmer she can't escape her destiny. The words "I'm losing her" speak to a deep held belief by Adora that she's not worthy of survival because she feels that she has never been able to help the one person she truly loves, making her no hero. All of the manipulations of Shadow Weaver, Horde Prime, even Light Hope are crushing down on her. She believes she has to accept her fate, to die to fulfill her duty as She-ra. It's the price she has to pay for not being good enough, for hurting Catra when she left her to become She-ra. She thanks Bow and Glimmer for their love and support. "I never could have done any of this without you." Bow and Glimmer did everything they could to prop Adora up, get her out of her depressions when she felt she wasn't good enough to be She-ra. But they still needed her to be She-ra, and therefore they can't help her get past her deepest insecurities. To do that, she needs someone who has unconditional love for her. She needs Catra. Adora leaves Bow and Glimmer behind, trying to protect them, so that only she will have to die.

>Catra finds Shadow Weaver patiently waiting to receive her power, to be able to achieve dominion over everyone else. SW tells Catra "She's gone to the heart of Etheria to free the magic and become the hero she was born to be." The dead hero, that is. As SW tries to guilt Catra, calling her selfish, she glares back. She stands up to SW, rejecting the manipulation: "Enough! This isn't about you and your messed up power trip anymore!”

In this moment, Catra shows us how clearly she understands SW's goal. She calls her out perfectly. She tells SW that Prime is infecting the planet to take the heart, which changes everything, including for SW.

>As Catra leads SW, having forced her to cooperate, they see Prime's broadcast and Catra knows they have to act. She demands SW take them to Adora, and doesn't accept her lies. She knows SW can do it with magic, and demands she comply. Her words hit home "So do something good with it for once and help me save Adora before it's too late." Notice the similarity to when Glimmer asks Catra to be better on Horde Prime’s ship. SW is trapped, she has to comply. If Adora doesn't reach the heart, no magic for SW, universe ends. Catra accepts SW's hand, though it hurts her to do so.

>Catra and SW arrive in the corridor. As Catra gets the truth from Glimmer, she's dismayed. "Of course she's gone, that's what she does, isn't it?" She knows in this moment that Adora is consumed by fear, her inadequacies. As she finishes briefing Bow and Gimmer on the situation, she tells them she will stay to help Adora, and she invokes their promises to each other. It's an important moment, as it is the two of them together, their promises to each other, that gives them the strength to surpass SW's manipulations of them. Glimmer knows Catra is in love with Adora, so she leaves Adora in Catra's care. Bow’s words are important as well, speaking to the power of the Best Friend Squad. It gives Catra a boost to her morale, a belief that maybe there's a chance she and Adora can overcome the odds they face.

>Adora looks out over Etheria, seeing its beauty. Mara joins her. Adora tries to promise Mara that she will save the world, everyone, at any cost. Mara flat out rejects this as wrong, she doesn't let Adora promise. Mara confronts Adora on her decision to die for everyone else. When Mara asks her what she wants, Adora says it doesn't matter, that she's She-ra. Again, an isolationist view, a lonely burden, just like SW wants her to believe. Mara tells Adora that she, Adora, has value as a person, not only as a hero, and that she deserves love, too. As Mara tells to not lose hope, Adora is emotionally moved but you can tell she's still struggling to accept Mara’s words because of her feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Mara manages to pass some courage to her, but then Horde Prime cuts them short.

Prime leans into Adora’s fears, threateningly. Like SW, he knows how to exploit her. He was in Catra's head and so he knows what Catra knows. He tells her that her failure is imminent, that she is already defeated, like the other She-ra's. The guardian monster then strikes and infects Adora, and she finally loses her grip on her She-ra form. He tells her even her own people didn't want her to make it to the heart, telling her the whole world is against her, and that she's totally alone. She tries to counter this with defiance, but the virus has her. She knows she's in trouble.

----Part 3: Final Moments, and Death, of SW----

>Episode 13. Adora is in pain, trying to understand the nature of the infection. The monster towers over her, it has only to reach out to deal the killing blow, she's defenseless. Suddenly Catra shows up, engaging the monster. Adora's only concern is for Catra's safety, telling her to leave her because it's too dangerous. But Catra has decided: she will do whatever it takes to give Adora her chance to save the universe, if that's what she wants. Even if it means Adora has to die. She tells SW to get Adora to the heart, which Adora objects to. SW is looking closely at Adora and seeing her illness, evaluating. As Adora begs for Catra to not leave her, Catra tells Adora she'll catch up. After all, they are the best friend squad. Bow's words have given Catra a small amount of hope that maybe it'll be ok. Adora, now that Catra has finally shown up, is desperate to not lose her again, and knows fighting this monster is too dangerous for her alone. But she's sick, and unable to help her. SW takes Adora unwillingly towards the heart.

>Catra is doing her best, but the monster is too much, even for her. She tries to slip away, seeing the virus continuing to spread. She's trying to get to Adora, who’s alone with SW. Horde Prime stops her (no keep running!!) and she gets caught. He mocks her, telling her he expected better. But Catra has already surpassed his greatest expectations, and she'll stop him yet... as the monster catches her, she cries out in anguish. It seems the cruelty of the universe has caught up to her again, after all...

>As SW tries to bring Adora to the heart, Adora's sickness is rapidly advancing. She demands SW wait, but she's too weak to resist. The thought of losing Catra again is weakening her spirit and allowing the virus to take over. SW tells her not to lose her focus, she's still hoping Adora will deploy the failsafe before dying. But then the virus seemingly attacks Adora's heart and SW watches the failsafe nearly fade out. SW looks up, she's close enough to already siphon power from the heart. Her lust for power is apparent.

As Adora hears Catra’s scream, she forcefully pushes herself from SW, and starts to go back for Catra. SW calls for her to wait, but Adora leaves her behind.

This is it, the turning point. The great moment of truth: SW now realizes, in utter totality, that she's never going to get to have the power. It's one of the most important moments in the series, and what happens next is the culmination of all of the hard emotional growth the two girls have been doing.

>>Quick interjection: we’re about to get emotional here... (well, I do). Just a light suggestion to check your surroundings. <<

Shadow Weaver now realizes that, even if she were to drag Adora to the heart, she would be too sick and heartbroken to deploy it. It's over for SW, either she dies now, with everyone else in the end of the universe, or she dies giving everyone else, including the girls, a future.

Remember as well, Adora has told SW that she would do everything she can to make sure she never gets the power. Adora is too strong against SW's manipulations, something Adora learned from seeing the pain Shadow Weaver caused Catra through her abuse. I mentioned that the exact words Adora used when she rejected SW the night before were important, so let's return to them: Adora told SW she would deploy the failsafe, and also that she will block SW from getting the power for herself. But as she said all of this, about saving the world, the universe, she doesn't say one, very important, word.

Promise.

Adora may have dedicated herself to being She-ra, but somehow in that moment she knew not to promise to SW that she would deploy the failsafe to save the universe, instead only saying that she was going to find a way, while making sure SW doesn't get the power. We saw that Adora later tried to make this particular promise to Mara, but Mara threw that out, telling Adora to be better, to rise above her lack of self belief.

A promise was made, though. She promised Catra. Their beautiful, childhood promise, the one she so casually broke way back when, her greatest mistake. And so Adora goes back for Catra, to be there for her, to try to help. If this Catra's end, she will be there for her... even if the cost is this high. She can't just let her die alone. She is honoring their promise...

And so… Adora finally… after all this time, puts Catra above her duty as She-ra. Her love for Catra is more important than fulfilling her heroic duty, and so SW can no longer manipulate her into giving up her life so SW can get the power. The girls have, in fact, transcended her manipulations, and as Adora leaves SW standing by the heart, SW is totally alone and without anything, anyone, left. She is, in fact, defeated by the girl’s love for each other... and so as SW looks towards the heart, she finally... makes... the right... choice. She gathers enough power from the heart to fight the monster...

>Horde Prime mocks Carta as she tries in vain to resist being pulled towards her death. When he invokes Adora's name, saying she will die, Catra shows her sadness, disappointment, at having come so close to being with her. He mocks her again, asking her if it was worth it. Catra shows defiance, then sorrow. The answer is yes, of course. Catra was willing to lay it all down to give Adora her shot at saving the universe, she's honoring their promise as best she can even if this is Adora's final act before her, and their, deaths. Catra has total belief that in this moment, that she needed to sacrifice herself for Adora. It seems like the natural outcome of fate, of the cruelty that is SW's and the universe's betrayals of the two of them their entire lives...

Heroic. Fucking. Music. SW shows up, charged from the Heart to take Catra's place. She's going to do one heroic and worthy thing of remembrance before she goes, since she is defeated and knows she won't get to have the heart's power.

Carta's disbelief is total, she can't understand how SW would ever do this for her. Her manipulation of them their whole lives was so total, so unfeeling. And yet, here she is. SW tells Carta to get to Adora and run. She forces Catra back and blocks the door. Catra still can't understand... and we finally... see Shadow Weaver show some actual real remorse for how empty her life is. She begs Catra to take Adora to the heart, to set the magic free. The one thing SW is dedicated to is magic, and she knows releasing the magic will restore the planet. Catra points out the obvious, that SW will die. Part of the reason Catra is so broken up by SW doing this is because Catra had just accepted her fate of dying in order to give Adora her chance to save everyone: Catra was willing to die for Adora even if Adora never found the courage to want Catra the way Catra wants her. And now SW takes her place? It doesn't make sense to her, as SW is a greedy person.

Shadow Weaver’s next series words are some of the most important in the entire series. And this is also the one redeeming quality she has... that she is a teacher. And she’s about to tell Catra something very, very... important.

She says: "It's too late for me." All her manipulations towards getting the power at the cost of the girls lives have been torn down, they've completely moved past her, she has no place in their lives anymore. The girls have learned to love each other so loyally that SW is done, finished.

"But you... this is only the beginning for you." Catra listens to this, searching for the deeper meaning... "I'm so proud of you, Catra." I think we all agree SW being 'proud' of Catra is a devastating line, Catra doesn't need or probably even want her abusers approval. I also think it is a lie, everything about SW says she's unable to feel actual compassion. But SW is a mastermind, and I think she's telling Catra she has respect for her. Catra ended up being the greatest enemy SW ever faced, she was so smart that she saw right through every manipulation SW made, and in the end, SW couldn't touch her. But theorizing aside, we see Catra cry... somehow, someway, SW finally seems to be showing Catra some amount of good in her, and so she cries, wondering where it comes from…

As Catra brings her hand back to uselessly flail at the barrier, Adora catches it. Catra looks back at Adora, surprised at her reappearance...

… right then we see Catra suddenly look away from Adora. It's quick, but we're seeing a dissociative moment: this is Catra realizing something very deep, and very meaningful...

Catra realizes, that in this moment, SW has chosen to do something that is much more than just dying in Catra's place.

She has given Adora to her.

All of Catra's life, Shadow Weaver has stood between her and Adora, love was a thing Catra was not allowed to have. But the girls, together, have transcended all of her abuse and manipulation. They have seen through her plan and risen above every cruelty, and have blocked SW's manipulations to use them for her own gain. And so, a defeated SW chooses now, to give Catra the most beautiful of gifts...

Catra puts it all together, filled with clarity: SW is telling her that Adora doesn't have to die, she can survive this. That they can survive the Heart!!! And Catra is the key, as SW has told her: "This is only the beginning, for you."

Catra is now given this knowledge freely by SW, and thus given hope. SW stands before them, totally defeated, in awe of Catra's incredible growth and cunning and that she was able to see through her plan, and how strongly the two girls have come to love each other. So, SW is giving Catra her fullest respect, and as a last act before her death she is passing Catra newfound hope that the two of them can overcome this, that they can survive...

Shadow Weaver removes her mask, showing Catra her face. It's not a face of manipulation, as we expect, no, there's respect, even, dare I say, gratitude. SW didn't have to do this, Catra knows that. And yet, Catra managed to show SW something she never expected to see. And so, by outthinking and so totally defeating her, by making SW see that all her manipulations were discovered and therefore wouldn't work no matter which way she turned, and by getting Adora understand the urgency of not letting SW win, Catra has won this final, beautiful gift…

“You're welcome…”

As Catra watches SW make her final sacrifice... her one good deed... she looks on, stunned. Life is never quite so simple as you think it is, and since returning to Adora, Catra has seen so many acts of generosity she didn't really believe were possible... and now... this...

Catra lets Adora cry for a moment, then tells her they have to go. Catra is filled with new urgency... they will face this final challenge together. As she resolutely carries Adora towards the heart, she knows she's now in charge of their fate... and as they face this final task, Catra is searching for a way to save Adora, and to save their love once and for all...

~

All of this has huge implications for what then happens with the girls when they reach the heart chamber, but that's a topic better discussed another time…

Some final notes here. It's my belief that Shadow Weaver is the overarching villain of the story, who spans all seasons of She-ra, and is far more important to the plot than Horde Prime is. Furthermore, understanding Shadow Weaver as this kind of villain is a stepping stone to explaining many other important plot points in the series, and we can build on it to understand a lot of the most important moments in the show.

My personal belief about this story is that the writers had such a diverse room of people of LGBTQIA+ and other backgrounds, each with their own trials and pains they had to overcome, that as a team, their goal was to bring to light as many of these struggles that they could. But as for this most central story, my guess is they wanted to tell us a story about overcoming real darkness that exists in our world, as well as Etheria, because sometimes that's how it is. And so the right thing, the only thing to do is to overcome and move past such people, to not let them control your life.

All this is to say that I think the moral of Shadow Weaver in the story isn't about finding the good in her, but about rising above her and the fundamental darknesses that we all sometimes face. And our girls do this through love, at no point do they use violence. And that makes this story very, very... special.

Thanks for reading. Until next time…

~EtheriaDearie

P.S. :: as I am new to tumblr, if you enjoyed reading this, please consider giving me a reblogg! Thanks!! 🙇💛

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

The beauty in the choice that is Glimmadora

Season 1, episode 2, roughly 18 odd minutes into the runtime, with Theymore in ruins and Glimmer and Adora having a moment that defines them both as people. Aka, the /exact/ moment I fell head-first into Glimmadora hell. And keep falling

First of all, because of how Adora says 'Glimmer'- softly, disbelieving, just the tiny bit hopeful- and then for what they both say next.

Adora- "Glimmer..? What are you doing? Why did you save me?"

Glimmer- "We need you. We need She-Ra. *brings out the sword* I should have given this back to you in the ruin. *Adora stares* You could have saved us in there and I knew that... but I was stupid, *starts crying* and a jerk, and I almost got us killed and I'm sorry!"

Adora- "You're not any of those things. I'm the Horde soldier! How do you know you can trust me now?"

Glimmer- "... I don't. But I hope I can. I feel like, maybe, you're here to help us. *holds out the sword*"

Adora- *slowly reaches out* *sees a Horde bot closing in on her and a magically exhausted Glimmer, who just spent some of her last magic saving Adora* *reaches for the sword again, hesitates*

Adora- *grabs the sword and puts herself between the charging Horde bot and Glimmer*

This right here? This is beautiful.

And here is why i think so

I'm a sucker for moments when characters make their own choices. When things line up and they stand on a crossroads, all the power of which way the story swings resting in their hands...

I'm even more of a sucker for two characters, both given that power of choice, picking the path they feel is right for them, and that also leads them to each other.

After two episodes of build up, showing why they believe what they believe, how that pits them against each other, and how it also opens the door to them realizing they actually share a common goal- protecting people- there is a pause. A gap of open space. Glimmer and Adora are given room to make their decisions, and there is no outside push that forces them together. Actually, THEY are the ones who have to push towards each other, in SPITE of everything.

The sword doesn't glow or start magically tugging itself towards Adora, the new She-Ra, prompting Glimmer to give in and bring it to her. Bow doesn't nudge her into going after Adora. He's shocked when she suggests it! Even rebuts by pointing out that Adora had just (seemingly) sold them out to the Horde!

It's Glimmer's choice, and hers alone, to go find Adora.

Apologizing for being a jerk also wasn't required, she could have given her the sword without that. But she wanted to say sorry. She felt bad about what she'd done. She wanted to own up to her mistakes, and do it in front of someone who she was not long ago calling a 'monster'.

Leading up to this, it was Adora's choice to try stopping the Horde's attack on Theymore. Her choice to leave the Horde, even if it meant losing everything she had, everything she'd ever known- Her best friend (who she asked to come with her, and who's choice to stay she accepted. Who she apologized to, because it was hard to go, but she had to), her promotion, her home, her idea of who she was and how the world worked, all of the certainty in her life. In the face of seeing innocent unarmed people fleeing in front of the Horde's crushing tanks, Adora gave it all up, without know what, if anything she would find to replace it with.

She wasn't part of the Rebellion yet. She didn't have the sword.

The narrative could have made her a Rebel first. It could have had her accepted in Bright Moon and be given a place there. It could have had Glimmer give her the sword before confronting Catra. Adora could have been safely herded into her new life outside the Horde. A better life, with security and power and no fear of Shadow Weaver hurting her best and only friend and then putting the responsibility of that pain on her. Faced with that choice, would it even be much of a choice at all?

Adora doesn't get that though. She has no certainty, no sword, no acceptance. Even after doing her She-Ra thing and driving off the Horde, she panics, asking what she's going to do now she's gone against the Horde. She doesn't even know where she will go, afterwards. She doesn't know if she will have a place outside the one she just threw away. And she still left.

And when she talks to Glimmer, she didn't have to reassure Glimmer that she wasn't a jerk or stupid of "any of those things". That was just something she wanted to say, right then, to the girl who took her prisoner. To the girl who took a Horde soldier prisoner. To the girl who didn't leave her to die in the collapsing ruin, and came for her again, saved her from being dragged back to the Horde as a traitor.

She wanted Glimmer to know that she, Adora, didn't think any of those bad things about her. Didn't blame her for being furious at someone from an army that is destroying her home, or think she was stupid for not trusting a Horde soldier with a powerful weapon.

Adora didn't have to ask how Glimmer can trust her now. She wanted to know the answer, herself. She was a Horde soldier. She understood what that meant, now, and she didn't want to be that anymore. But what had she done so far, to earn Glimmer's trust?

Glimmer could have said platitudes to that, could have smoothed it over with The Power Of Friendship or maybe just Well You Haven't Killed Or Betrayed Us Yet When You Had The Chance, or even, I'm Out Of Options And The Magical Sword Likes You So Destiny Maybe.

She doesn't say any of that. It might be easier for Adora to hear, but it's not true. To the girl who is suddenly questioning her whole life and everything she was ever told, Glimmer says the truth instead.

It's not what Adora's done so far that's convinced Glimmer. It's what Glimmer thinks Adora wants to do from now on. That's what Glimmer is putting her trust in. Adora's own choices, not the ones that were made for her.

And what does Adora do? The very first thing she does, when Glimmer hands her an incredibly powerful magical sword?

She protects Glimmer. She uses the sword, to protect. To defend. That is her choice.

That's what Glimmer saw in her, the hope she found. That's what she put the Rebellion on the line for, risked ruin by handing the sword over to someone who still has the Horde symbol on their back. There was who Adora had been, up to this point. And then there was who she wanted to be.

A Horde soldier who didn't want to hurt people, argued with Glimmer not because she thought that hurting others was justified, but because she didn't want to believe the Horde HAD hurt people. A Horde soldier who didn't scoff at the people of Theymore for being weak or unguarded or try to take advantage of these trusting people- the opposite, in fact. Adora was enthralled. Awed. When she realized this was the place the Horde would be attacking, she couldn't believe it. She wanted it be a mistake. She listened, finally, when Glimmer showed her that it wasn't.

And faced with Glimmer and the sword, the terrifying leap from her old life into some new unknown, Adora looks at Glimmer's choices for guidance. "I'm the Horde soldier!" she says, "How do you know you can trust me now?"

How does Glimmer know she's doing the right thing? How can Glimmer be sure?

Glimmer isn't sure. She says as much. She's making the choice anyway.

How does Adora know she's also making the right choice? How can she be sure?

She can't be.

She can only see what Glimmer did, confronted with the same risk, and decide if that's an example she wants to follow. If this girl, angry and pained, brave and protective, imperfect and trying, strong enough to look at her own mistakes and apologize for them- is this someone Adora wants to see in herself? Is THIS who she wants to be like? At the cost of everything else? With no guarantees how it will end for her?

Yes. She decides it is.

She takes the jump with Glimmer. She follows this strange, rebel princess into the unknown.

And in that moment, they aren't strangers anymore.

It's so wonderful, even re-watching it for the millionth time- The dialogue, the voice acting, the emotional and narrative payoff from everything that had been shown before. Everything Glimmer has lost (her father, her relationship with her mother, her own sense of worth tied up in a war she keeps losing). Everything Adora stands to lose (her home, her self worth so tied up in the captains rank she's been trained for. Her childhood friend, her enemy now)

The pressure that was on both Glimmer and Adora to stay the way they were- (Through Angella, and even a little from Bow, through Shadow Weaver and Catra) (Even Light Hope and the sword only confuses things, the simple question of where Adora came from suddenly getting tied up in mystery and treason, the answer that was supposed to give her a sense of belonging threatening to isolate her instead)- that pressure to walk away is very real. Don't take that risk. Don't make that jump. It frightening and hard. You might be wrong.

Don't reach out to each other, don't change, don't meet each other there, in that terrifying middle ground.

And THEN, their decisions to both say 'fuck it' and do what they thought was right instead. Even if they weren't sure what would happen next.

If it might let them help others more than they have so far, save the rebellion, protect the people who really need protecting, well then, for Glimmer and Adora, that made it worth it, to do the right thing. To be the people they both really want to be.

Which, in the end, meant being a lot like each other, at their core.

I love that.

There is nothing in a story more powerful to me, than when a choice like this is made. When it feels earned, and meaningful. When it grows out of the story that had been unfolding up till then, and changes the way it will end.

When it's two women making that change, that choice, together? I'll never get enough of that.

And the intimacy. My god.

After being so open, honest, raw, it's not surprising when Glimmer and Adora come together in the aftermath. Enemies one episode ago, fire forged friends now, them holding onto each other feels right, by the episode's end. Physically reaching out, mirroring and confirming what they both had already done. Especially how gentle Glimmer is with Adora's moment of panic, how she reaches out to calm her, reassures her she DOES have a place, and friends. The moment when she offers her hand to help Adora stand again, and Adora looks up, smiles at her before taking it...

the CATHARSIS of seeing THESE TWO ENEMIES TURNED ????? TURNED FRIENDS HOLDING ONTO EACH OTHER, LETTING EACH OTHER BE SO CLOSE- AND THAT GLIMMER IS SUPPORTING ADORA IN THIS MOMENT EVEN THOUGH SHE HERSELF IS FRESH OUT OF MAGIC AND IS FEELING IT, BUT SHE KNOWS WHAT ADORA JUST WENT THROUGH BECAUSE THEY WENT THROUGH IT TOGETHER, IT- IT- IT'S-

Yeah. my little wlw heart didn't stand a chance. i will be smitten forever with these two, from the force of a couple of episodes and some vERY nicely handled writing

..

..... also, the way Adora helps a fainting Glimmer and props her up against a rock, but with her hands just resting on Glimmer for a moment like...

i've stared at this screencap for a long time, ngl

[bi-dykes]

The ShineStone Tundra

Summary: Queen Glimmer and Commander Catra are both trying to retrieve the ShineStone, a runestone hasn’t been used in centuries. However, the two enemies must wait out the blizzard before returning victoriously.

Content: Glitra, short fic, canon-divergence (still fits with the given timeline tho) Enemies-to-Lovers- kinda? Just enemies to less enemies.

Word count: 2.8k

Series: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

———————————————————————

Glimmer of Bright Moon gave a shriek of frustration as her latest teleportation sent her right back to the cold valleys of the ShineStone Tundra. She had been trying to find the Amethyst Cave for heaven knows how long, and all she has managed to accomplish is running circles in the repetitive, cold, grey landscape.

She was about to retreat to find a new plan- perhaps find some expert navigators or- gasp- tell Bow that she needed his help after all!!? But she couldn’t admit that, not after she had confidently told him that she was ready to take on this mission solo.

Her pink and purple hair tousling in her face due to the high winds, Glimmer turned towards a familiar voice carrying through the blizzard.

“Sparkles. I should’ve known you’d be foolish enough to show your face on the coldest regions of Etheria,” a little feline-cackle boomed from the distance.

“Horde Scum! Show your face, I’m not afraid of you! Here, kitty, kitty- ARGHHH!” Glimmer shouted quickly as she released a glitter bomb in the direction of the cat’s call.

Unfortunately, the wind blew it right back into Glimmer’s face, causing her to groan sadly at the pink ambush.

A loud laugh was heard in return. “Seriously? You can’t even control your powers in the wind? Pathetic!”

“You’re the pathetic one!” Glimmer called out, teleporting in the direction of Catra’s taunts.

The girls gave out a loud “oof” as Glimmer fell on top of the Horde Leader, the two of them collapsing in the snow.

“Get off me, you pint-sized explosive!” Catra crowed.

“Why did you follow me into the Tundra?” Glimmer asked furiously.

“Follow you?” Catra snorted. “As if I keep tabs on you. I didn’t follow you here! I came to scope out the location for a new weapon for Hordak, one that’ll change the tides of the war, Princess.” She wriggled from underneath Glimmer’s tight shoulder grip.

“That’s Queen to you, not Princess, and what weapon is this exactly?”

“What, you want me to spoon feed you information now? Dream on.” With a sharp tug, Catra pulled away from Glimmer, slid through the snow, and then jumped up and ran towards the defeating blizzard.

“Get back here!” Glimmer crowed.

She had just begun to chase the tabby cat when the two of them froze in place, listening to the powerful roar from beyond the mountains.

“The abominable snowman,” Catra shivered.

Glimmer laughed mockingly. “You actually believe in the abominable snowman? I’m sure it was just an avalanche in the distance.”

“Either way,” Catra said. “It’s a good reason to take cover.”

Glimmer opened her mouth to respond when the top of a mountainscape began to... move? Dislodge? Get up and walk away? Glimmer stared at the top of the mountain in awe, the steep slope of it now having vanished, leaving the mountaintop flattened.

“What in the...?”

Glimmer and Catra both turned to the now missing ledge, seeing that this slope wasn’t part of the mountain at all, but was a larger than life grey claw. The claw moved once again and stepped closer, causing snow to rumble down the mountain. If that was just one fraction of the creature’s hand... then the whole being must be ginormous.

“Yes, I actually believe in the abominable snowman!” Catra spat. “And I’m starting to believe that we’ll be it’s lunch.”

She gave the pink queen a nasty look and darted off into the distance, where a small ice burrow lay.

Shivering, Glimmer activated her glitter teleportation powers, and zoomed into the ice burrow right behind Catra.

As soon as Catra noticed her presence, she whizzed around quickly, her hair flipping in a very alluring manner. “Get out, Sparkles!” She growled. “This is my hiding spot.”

Glimmer crossed her arms. “If you let me stay in here til that giant passes, I’ll teleport you out to the mainland of the Tundra. We’ll both live that way.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“Because,” Glimmer smirked. “I know cat’s hate small spaces. You would not want me to leave you in here, and I do not want you to keep me outside with that mountain monster.”

Catra sighed dramatically. “Fine. But as soon as the abominable snowman passes, we part ways.”

“Deal.” And with that, the two walked into the glistening ice tunnel.

***

Their footsteps made a “clop clop” noise with every step, and Catra regularly lost her balance and skidded on the icy floor, giving Glimmer a death glare any time the queen of Bright Moon giggled at the angry feline.

“So, this weapon you speak of. Hordak wants to use the ShineStone? I didn’t think the Horde was into Etherian relics. Mostly just ugly Fright Zone tech.”

“You’re bored, aren’t you?” Catra hissed.

“I’m in the middle of a deadly blizzard and an evil snowman attack. What makes you think I’m bored?”

“Why else would you be taking to me?”

Glimmer shrugged in begrudging agreement, and they began to walk in silence.

After the mouth of the burrow began to fade away from view, the two found themselves in a large opening; an ice bubble that was crystallized in the snow. It has enough room for them; enough room to stay and set up camp. The walls surrounding Glimmer and Catra were streaked with weathered lines, and the roar of the snowstorm could be heard muffled from above.

“It’s beautiful,” Glimmer exhaled.

“Just like you to find a subzero hideaway beautiful,” Catra snapped.

“More beautiful than a mountain monster,” Glimmer shot back. “Or the inside of a mountain monster.”

Catra bristled.

Glimmer undid her emergency pack and laid out a blanket, then got out a cluster of contained firewood and a match. She quickly laid it down and set a flame in the centre of the ice bubble, warming her hands over it.

Scampering away, Catra put her back to the frost wall and rubbed her arms, trying to get some warmth.

“Do you want to share the fire?” Glimmer asked.

“I don’t need your-”

“Good! Because you’re not getting near my warm little flame.”

“Grrrrr.”

“Well ‘gurh’ to you too.”

Silence again. The wind howled in the distance, making the only noise between the two girls.

“What does Bright Moon think they can do with the ShineStone?” Catra gloated. “You have no princess from the Tundra to wield it. Your rebellion is all sparkly, no substance.” She was relieved to cut the silence.

“Now you’re the bored one,” Glimmer teased. “Starting conversation again-”

“What do you mean ‘again’?”

Glimmer sighed, changing the topic from their little banter. “The ShineStone can easily turn the tides of the war.” She was dying to tell someone about it, but she knew it couldn’t end up in the enemies hands.

“We’ve all- Bright Moon and the Fright Zone alike- built up the expectations to be this glorifying force. What if... what if it’s not everything we’ve imagined?” Glimmer continued reluctantly.

Catra walked closer to her. “Do you think... that it might not work? I mean, it’s an ancient relic. Hasn’t been used for centuries. Who’s to say it’ll have any magic left?”

“That’s exactly what I was afraid of.”

“Whatever. I’m going to take a nap. Don’t kill me in my sleep,” Catra muttered as she curled up on the icy floor, her tail wrapping around her torso.

“I make no promises,” Glimmer joked. She put her hands above the small fire again as Catra drifted off.

***

A loud, scraping noise was heard as the mountain monster made its way across the land. Catra awoke with a hiss, and Glimmer looked up at the rocking ice ceiling, her glittery eyes wide.

Then Catra gave a toothy grin. “It’s passing, Sparkles. We can finally leave.”

Glimmer looked over at the Horde Cadet, enticement growing. “We can, can’t we?”

They heard the booming footsteps echo, bits of frost clattering down on them as the abominable snowman walked away... away... away until they couldn’t hear the stomps anymore.

Catra quickly bounded up, her hands rubbing together with relish. “Teleport me out.”

“Excuse me?”

“That was the real, right? We wait out the storm monster together, then its us to the mainland. To both try to find the ShineStone.”

Glimmer grunted. “All right, all right.” She put a hand on Catra’s shoulder, closed her eyes, and they teleported out into the blistering, grey grounds of the main land.

“Thanks for the lift, Sparkles!” Catra cackled as she sped off. But she didn’t get very far past the mainland before she scampered into a little, grey cave of the mountainline.

Glimmer huffed and, trying to safe her teleportation powers for when she’d need them more, ran off; this time towards the heart of the tundra.

The sparkly sorceress raised an arm to shield her face from the bleak wind, which she certainly hadn’t missed when her and Catra had sought shelter. She turned towards the horizons line, and with Bow’s tracker pad (that she had promised to take good care of) she began to follow a signal to any Etherian Runes.

Up ahead, a light yellow glow emitted, causing a buzz from the tracker pad. Eagerly, Glimmer rushed to follow the tracks.

Making her way through the unforgiving snow drifts, Glimmer saw the top of a burrow. Frowning, she searched around for an exit, then decided to use a teleportation to appear right in front of the sign. That would be a well use of her magic!

Giving a barred smile for the first time since the storm started, Glimmer sparkled into the location and found herself face to face with...

You guessed it. Her favourite ill-tempered feline frenemy.

“You again?!!” Catra growled. “How did you find me here?”

They were both in the cave that Catra had scooted into after they left their ice burrow.  The cave was tall, with glistening icicles hanging from above, and stalagmites reaching upwards by the chilling cave floor.

The Amethyst Cave.

“I didn’t find you, Catra. I found that.”

Looking over to where Glimmer was pointing, her finger arched to the centre of the cave, there was a looming, golden crystal that was larger than both girls combined stood perched regally, emitting a warm light that seemed as of a different world than the coldness surrounding them.

“You found it too late, Glimmer,” Catra drawled. “I got here first.” She pulled out her communicator and spoke into it harshly.

“Scorpia! It’s about time you’ve answered. I’ve found the ShineStone- we’re going to need backup for a quick retrieval and delivery. And don’t keep me waiting this time.”

After packing her communicator away, Catra crossed her claws smugly.

What she didn’t realize, though, was that Glimmer had snuck to the other side of the huge ShineStone, hands braced to make one last powerful transportation.

“Hey!” Catra plucked an icicle and slapped Glimmer with it. “Hands off the treasure.”

Glimmer, however was unfazed by the strike. “Your little backup crew won’t arrive for hours, you can’t guard it forever, and you have no magic.” She beamed. “It’s over, Catra.”

Catra gritted her teeth. “Not. Yet.”

She lunged at Glimmer, who retorted with a sparkle blast that the angry catgirl quickly coughed out.

The two leaders began to fight in front of the glowing ShineStone, the wind whistling as they parried back and forth.

Catra had picked up another icicle and began to jab it at Glimmer, who was barely ducking in time to avoid each blow.

Leaping up to the ShineStone, Catra charged downwards at Glimmer, icicle still in hand. Glimmer slide out of the way just before Catra landed on the cold cave floor.

Except... Glimmer didn’t slide out of the way. She fell, and fell due to a loud movement from outside the cave.

Sprawled on the Amethyst cave floor, Glimmer glanced up to see a claw the size of a house moving past the entrance. Both her and Catra seized up at the sight.

“He’s back.” Catra whispered.

The ground rumbled beneath their feet as the abominable snowman strode past. With each ground-shattering step, the cave walls around them begin to shake.

Catra and Glimmer both dove behind the ShineStone for protection, huddled up to brace themselves from the mountain monster.

As the snowy scape around them shattered with every movement of abominable snowman, a huge chunk fell from the ceiling of the cave.

“Look out!” Catra pulled Glimmer out of the way.

Glimmer’s eyes widened in shock. “You... you saved-”

“Don’t flatter yourself; I need you alive to teleport me out of this chaos,” Catra said.

“Of course,” Glimmer stood up and, avoiding pieces of falling cave ceiling and snow, put a hand on Catra’s helm to physically join them for a teleportation. She scrunched up her forehead and summoned a vise of glitter.

Yet they were still standing in the cave.

“What??!” Glimmer tried again. And again. She and Catra had to dart around the room to miss the collapsing cave around them, while Glimmer urgently attempted to teleport.

“Did you run out of batteries or something?” Catra yapped. "Why isn't your magic working?"

“I don’t know!!!” Glimmer almost crumpled down in panic.

From outside the cave mouth, the abominable snowman’s footsteps continued, except this time it was apparent that a blue stream of light was emitting off of their form, extending off to Glimmer and draining her of her magic.

“He’s... he’s taking your power,” Catra froze with despair.

Glimmer raced over to the ShineStone and put her hands on it.

“Please!” she cried out. “Please, O Ancient Runestone, grant me your strength!”

Catra followed her lead and placed a claw on the shiny surface. “Please! Lend us your power!”

But the ShineStone was useless to them; sitting blankly and dull before them, not preforming any mystical acts.

Teeth gritted, Catra grabbed Glimmer’s arm and leaped from stalagmite to stalagmite, hoisting the two of them over the widening holes of the cave surface.

Now freed, they both collapsed on the snowy top of the cave, the abominable snowman slowly stepping his overwhelming form away.

There need no introduction. The two girls made like a banana and split.

Sprinting away from the freezing land, they leapt off the tall Amethyst Cave and back into the whiteout blizzard.

As they made distance from the mountain monster, Glimmer noticed the blue light dissolve; the very same blue light that was attached to her from the abominable snowman. Testing her abilities, she gave a quick sparkle blast in the air, which blew away in the wind.

“Yes! Ahaha!” Glimmer cheered. “My powers are back!”

“Timing’s off,” Catra mused. But before Glimmer had a chance to respond, Catra yelped and her foot/paw slipped down a ice crevice. She grunted and tried fruitless to pull herself out.

And the abominable snowman turned, and began to walk in their direction.

Catra hissed and tried frantically to free herself. As she struggled, Glimmer readied a last teleportation to send herself home.

But right before... she glanced over at the kitty cat. The one who had tried to kill her, the one who was Hordak’s second-in-command, the one who had betrayed Adora...

Glimmer tried; she earnestly tried to leave her foe behind to the icy fate. But something tugged her back, something she didn’t want to think about.

Grimacing, Glimmer put a hand on Catra’s ears, activated her magic, and teleported them both out of the Tundra, and to safety.

***

“Oof!”

Catra and Glimmer fell to the ground in The Whispering Woods. The air was finally warm with a light breeze, and Glimmer could see the Bright Moon castle over the distance.

“Finally!” Glimmer said breathlessly. She stood up and checked her satchel to make sure that Bow’s tracker pad was okay, tugging it gently with relief that she hadn’t broken it.

Catra looked up at the sky, bewilderment in her eyes.

“So I guess that ShineStone was a hoax after all. I’m going to have to tell the Rebellion it wasn’t a successful mission.” Glimmer chuckled. “And you’re going to have to tell Hordak you failed.”

Catra stood up, wrapping her arms around herself at some invisible chill. “You didn’t need to take me with you. You could’ve left me,” she said slowly.

Glimmer shrugged. She wasn’t about to justify herself to the Commander of the Fright Zone. “There’s a method to my madness.”

“Alright,” Catra nodded slowly. “Well... I should be leaving now. I’m going to find a new weapon; one that’s not a useless old rock,” she snickered.

“Good luck with that,” Glimmer said mockingly.

“Thanks.” Glimmer could tell Catra wasn’t just thanking her about the ‘good luck’ comment.

Catra turned to scamper away, when Glimmer raised her hand.

“Hey, wait,” the glittery queen said. “Before you go...”

Raising an eyebrow, Catra curiously turned to face her.

“If you tell anyone about how I helped you,” Glimmer promised. “I will kill you, Catra.”

“I’ll have eight lives left, Sparkles.”

________________________________________

So that’s it, friends! My first She-Ra fic on this site. I hope you enjoyed it! I have plenty more planned, but with work and uni we’ll see how much I can give you y’all.

Tag list:

@humans-suck @xcaroldanversx @singerintheshower @lolitscaitlin @secretsalute @weirdoughnut

Stay tuned for more Glitra content! Signing off,

- Mari

[lightdancer1]

A scene from my Magicatra AU:

"I get it, you know." Glimmer froze when the Horde scum spoke to her with a tone that actually was....not what she expected. She folded her arms in front of her chest and huffed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Catra gave her a strange kind of grin with teeth bared. "Bullshit, Princess."

Glimmer's eyes went wide.

"As I said, I get it. You want to prove yourself to someone who'll never get it, or at least who you think won't." Glimmer's eyes about bugged out of her head.

"How do you know so much about that?"

Catra's claws were out and delicately tapping along a pillar.

She spoke very lightly, though Glimmer understood the deeper emotions immediately.

"Shadow Weaver was always like that for me. I don't think Queen Angella is like her, though." There was a strange fragility in her gaze and her smile and in that moment, for one of the first times since Thaymor Glimmer saw the person beneath the mask. Catra almost immediately tried to raise the walls again but it didn't matter. Glimmer had seen and she knew she had seen.

"You know Shadow Weaver?" There was a tone in her voice that Catra didn't understand.

"She was the closest thing to a mother I had."

Glimmer blinked rapidly and went over to her, raising a hand toward Catra's shoulder. For a moment Catra froze and then a pause with a few breaths followed as she nodded and Glimmer put her hand on her shoulder.

"I've been angry about a lot of things with the Horde, Catra." It was the first time she'd used Catra's actual name since she'd arrived at Brightmoon and that meant Catra paid her closer attention.

"I'm not angry at you, though." The sincerity in her words led Catra to tilt her head.

She said nothing, and instead the two of them went to the library where Glimmer quietly trusted Catra meant what she said and unburdened herself of some of her insecurities with someone who proved she did understand, listening not in that half-attentive way Bow did sometimes (for he understood more than he let on and listened with a great patience, but it was something he was so used to he didn't quite hear as much as Glimmer wanted him to) but with a fullness that showed she understood.

When it was done she leaned back a bit, looking down at her feet. Catra went over to her and after raising her hand and waiting for Glimmer's nod put it on her shoulder.

"You have nothing more to prove than I do. I don't think this is like Shadow Weaver at all. You said your dad disappeared?" Glimmer nodded (Catra understood, or thought she understood, why Glimmer clung to that belief. A year later she would find herself facing something very different, but that would be later and would give Glimmer a wide smile when she realized her friend was right, not merely in denial). "Your mom probably can't unsee that your dad vanished and that you're her kid."

Catra's nose twitched and her tone was sad as her eyes were somewhat distracted.

"That's what moms are supposed to be, from what I've read about it."

She didn't say much, as Glimmer put her hand on top of hers.

"Thank you," was what she found it in her to say. A small thing, the kind of thing that a friend would do for a friend. Catra was not yet willing to admit to herself how deeply she was beginning to care for those who weren't hair-poofed (Thaymor still hurt but she couldn't let herself focus on that). It still counted. Glimmer, for her own part, was shaken to realize that at least this one Horde soldier had given to her a kindness and a patience that she hadn't appreciated as much as she could.

It was not a lesson she would learn fully until much later, in another context. It was the first time she did learn part of it. And the point where her sense of loyalty, which ran deep where it did run, would change from that point with Catra in a way she liked to think was always there, even when the truth was more nuanced.

[skipppppy]

I’m so fascinated by your she ra fan character! I’m trying to understand the storyline but it’s a little hard to find everything, and I was wondering if you would mind explaining it here?

Thank you very much! Her story is SUPER convuluted, I elaborated on it a bit on another ask about her relationship with Entrapta, but I’ll try to sum it up as cleanly as possible but a lot of different factors come into play so it still might be LOOONNGG. It’s also not a very happy story, unfortunately, but it would be helpful for me to get it all written down!

In terms of things that might be triggering, her backstory involves mention of a wide range of abuse. It won’t be explicit but I just want to be safe!

I’m actually gonna put most of it under the cut for the sake of anyone who follows me or any tags so they aren’t cursed with a mile long post on their timeline. I know the pain 😅

So here it is! I present A COMPREHENSIVE TIMELINE OF ALL THE BULLSHIT ARIA HAD TO PUT UP WITH!!!!

-For background context, she’s a Wingfolk, a species of Bird People native to Etheria who live in a kingdom built into a forest of giant trees named Ornithia. I could go on about them for hours but all you really need to know is that they have hollow bones to achieve flight (which is also the case for real life birds), which makes Aria’s body very light and frail. So she’s basically useless in physical combat which is why she never really defends herself. She was also a particularly weak flyer, which is why she doesn’t avoid a lot of situations by simply flying away.

-EXTRA BACKGROUND CONTEXT, Aria was born around the time the Horde landed on Etheria. Her father was a sorcerer at Mystacor, who had a reputation for ignoring ethics in the name of science. This all came to a head when a meteorite struck the surface of the planet; he rushed to the sight, stole it, studied it for a while, and after learning it had a powerful magic, decided to try a ritual in which he extracted the magic from the meteorite and fused it with his daughter’s soul. It took a few years for people to find out but when they did he was exiled for his actions, and Aria, still a child, was given to her mother.

-ONE MORE SMALL DETAIL: from about the age of 18/19 onward, she started having dreams about a mysterious figure made of blinding light who knew secrets about the universe and promised to find her one day so they could “finally be together again.” 3 guesses who THAT is lmao (hint: it’s Horde Prime)

-I won’t go into details about her childhood because we’d be here forever but the most important things you need to know are 1) Aria’s mother was a HORRIBLE parent and preferred to get blackout drunk rather than look after her children. 2) Aria had 4 younger brothers who, due to her mother’s negligence, she had to raise entirely by herself, which is why she feels responsible over others and has such a “nurturing” disposition, it was forced on her. 3) She took her brothers and ran away from Ornithia when she was 15, and built a home in a small woodland in the mountains of Dryl where she has lived ever since. 4) Throughout her childhood she befriended Princess Entrapta and the two were extremely close due to their isolated upbringings.

-When the BFS visited Dryl for the first time in Season 1, Aria was there acting as both a lab assistant and royal advisor to Entrapta, and joined the rebellion alongside her. Nothing crazy happened, but when Entrapta “died” Aria was beside herself with grief and ended up leaving the rebellion in order to go tend to Dryl, since it needed a ruler and as advisor it was her job to step up and take responsibility. Unlike the others, however, she refused to return to aid in the battle of Brightmoon, since she was kinda miffed at how the Princesses treated Entrapta (lookin’ at you, leash lady Perfuma) and was thoroughly pissed that they didn’t even TRY to go back for her, even if it was just to find her body and give her a dignified burial.

-Season 2 was when things truly went to shit. When the Horde came to claim Dryl, Aria resisted but was defeated pretty easily. When Glimmer and Bow came to scout out the situation, they saw her being hauled away and tried to save her but basically got caught in a stalemate where they couldn’t act because the Horde threatened to harm Entrapta if they acted. They told Aria to go with the Horde and promised that they would form a rescue party to save the both of them. But after they learned that Entrapta had joined the Horde by choice and had more important missions to deal with, rescuing her just..stopped being a priority. She wasn’t a rebel so they had no obligation to get her, so eventually they forgot about her entirely.

-Aria was kept as a prisoner for a while, but Entrapta found out pretty quickly what happened and went to find her. At that point Catra was growing frustrated with all the menial paperwork she had to do, and since she’d had experience being an advisor/secretary type, Entrapta basically proposed to Hordak that Aria act as his assistant in the same way she used to at Dryl. He accepted since it meant he would be spending less time running the Horde and more time building the portal. Aria was against the idea of helping him since she was still holding out hope that the rebels would come save her, but she was simply threatened with the classic Evil Horde punishments (torture, more torture, being locked in a cell for weeks without food or water, a tad more torture). So from mid-Season 2 to the end of Season 4, that was pretty much the position she was in. Being the Fright Zone’s resident desk jockey.

-Not much happened in that timespan, most of what occurred revolved around the portal incident and the aftermath. While Aria had been playing the part of Hordak’s pretty little secretary she was trying to find weak points in the Fright Zone’s security system so she could bust her and Entrapta out of there. Due to her and Hordak building the portal (and smooching lol) she’d been spending less and less time with Aria, which had been making her a little upset. She felt like someone she’d spent her entire life caring for was replacing her for something better, but her suspicions weren’t confirmed until she asked Entrapta about leaving together and she refused. That was the first small nudge towards a downward spiral. Then Catra returned with Adora and the Sword in hand and the Princesses came to stop the Portal. The rebels had come to save Adora and forgot about her. She was willing to forgive and join them, until they saw that she had been assisting the Horde, assumed she had betrayed them alongside Entrapta, and decided to leave her behind without giving her a chance to explain herself. That was the second, slightly stronger nudge that made her teeter over the edge of a breakdown. And then Catra told her that Entrapta had abandoned her to rejoin the rebels. While it was a lie, it was perfectly placed salt in the wound, and the straw that broke the camels back into her shifting allegiance and properly joining the Horde.

-Throughout Season 4 she had the same role as before, except this time she actually cared about her work, and had taken on the additional role of helping Hordak with his busted tech since Entrapta wasn’t around to do it. He had already come to rely on Aria for paperwork, but now she was helping him with his machines and they had a shared trauma over being “abandoned” by someone they cared deeply for. She was literally filling the void Entrapta left, and in a way they started to care for each other. Aria, being a hopeless romantic who had read about a trillion love stories about gentle protagonists who healed the evil monster men with their kindness, took to him like a moth to a flame and happily played the role of “the next best thing” against her better judgement. It wasn’t really a healthy relationship, but they did genuinely care for each other and found comfort in one another’s presence.

-It didn’t last, however. Catra was vaguely aware of the “thing” they had, and while she was indifferent for the most part, she was dealing with a downward spiral of her own, and she slowly became paranoid that Aria would distract him from completing their plans. In her poor, burnt out kitty cat frame of mind, the only way to deal with the situation was to get rid of her. So, deciding to kill 2 birds with one stone, she told Hordak that Aria had been jealous of his relationship with Entrapta, and SHE had been the one to send her to beast island. And Hordak believed her.

-I won’t go into detail about what happened after that, because it was VERY GRUESOME! We all saw how Hordak reacted when he found out what Catra had done in the original show. Now remember when I mentioned that Aria has hollow bones that made her incredibly frail and physically incapable of defending herself? Yeah. It was not pretty. Hordak wasn’t completely at fault, since he thought his anger was warranted, but by the time he’d learnt the truth and realised his mistake she was dead. In the space between the incident and learning what really happened he’d thrown her in the abandoned black garnet chamber with no food or water and basically left her to rot. He was EXTRA mad at Catra for pulling that with him, but he didn’t have time to grieve since he, Glimmer, Catra, and Aria’s lifeless corpse were beamed up into Horde Prime’s flagship.

-When Prime initially found her she was still dead. However, remember the healing magic that came from the mysterious meteorite that had now fused with her soul? Spoiler alert! It belonged to him. The meteorite was one of his most prized possessions, and the dreams Aria had been having were the magic’s attempts at trying to establish a connection with him across dimensions. (the meteorite was somewhat sentient. This is perfectly normal and well thought out writing I swear) And being reunited caused a huge surge of magical energy that resuscitated her, allowing Prime’s clones to give her some much needed medical help.

-After being pretty much comatose for 2 weeks Aria finally woke up, and was finally able to speak with Prime in person. When she found out that the “mysterious figure” from her dreams who had promised to find her was REAL and had just saved her life, she basically just latched onto him. She was, understandably, TRAUMATISED from the last 2 or so years of her life, so she was too scared to go anywhere else or trust anyone, so Prime didn’t even have to try to win her allegiance. He was also very happy to have his meteorite back, even if it now had a mortal body with skin and a face and a slew of emotional baggage. So she spends most of Season 5 being showered in love and affection by Prime and all her attendants, eventually being crowned Empress. While Prime was unequivocally evil and Aria was aware of that, he mostly sheltered her from what he was doing, in fear that her loyalty to him might falter. Maybe in a fun au she could’ve convinced him to leave Etheria alone so they could be together for longer, but alas, it was not to be.

-In the aftermath of the Heart being destroyed and Prime being killed, her downward spiral returned and shifted into OVERDRIVE. The people who had abandoned and neglected her took her one safe person away from her and they were being hailed as heroes for it. While she now knew that Entrapta had never abandoned her and was instead sent to beast island, seeing her get a happy ending with the man who had, to be quite blunt, physically abused and assaulted her, shattered any part of their friendship that might have been recoverable. She retreated into herself, taking over Horde Prime’s role as ruler over the Clones. She turned the Velvet Glove into their new home, trying to be civil with the other Princesses but eventually descended into a cold, bitter, vindictive Empress who ended up making terrible decisions as a cry for help.

-I’m still undecided on what to do with her after her fun villain arc, but I do know that in the aftermath she’d probably either step down from the throne so she could properly heal from her trauma, or work with her clones to fix up Prime’s flagship and get as far away from Etheria as possible and find peace in a new life away from everything that hurt her. I may also bring back Horde Prime from the dead through my sheer will to ignore canon so they can be together, since they are for all intents and purposes, soulmates. And I don’t think it would be very fair to let my poor hopeless romantic who just wants to be loved lose her handsome prince forever. I think it would be sexy if I committed necromancy I think.

ANYWAY...THAT WAS A HEFTY READ..SORRY IT WAS SO LONG, BUT THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I CAN COME BACK TO THIS FOR REFERENCE NOW

TLDR: babygirl has had it ROUGH

[turtletotem]

Darkest Before Dawn

Canon divergence fic set in alternate 03x04, “Moment of Truth” -- i.e. the mission to rescue Adora and stop the portal ended rather differently. (2.6k) (also on AO3)

.

"Let me make this clear," Glimmer said coldly. "You're dying. You are not going to be here when the sun rises."

Catra, curled on her side with her face to the wall, didn't so much as twitch an ear. Glimmer hadn't said anything she didn't already know. Though hearing the words aloud was more of a blow than she'd expected, she still wasn't going to give the Bright Moon princess the satisfaction of seeing her react.

Besides, moving hurt.

"There is one single person on Etheria who gives a damn about that," Glimmer continued, "and you're refusing to talk to her."

Not that her refusal to talk to Adora had kept the idiot from dragging her huge sword in here and trying to heal Catra with it, after the Bright Moon doctors couldn't even figure out what was wrong with her. If Catra had to die, at least she got to see Adora fail at something first.

She really hated the idea of dying here, in princess custody. From what she could tell, it had been the stupid arrow boy who insisted on dragging Catra's unconscious body back to Bright Moon after Shadow Weaver—with help from Glimmer's borrowed magic—fried her half to death in that corridor. While Catra was passed out, the princesses had rescued Adora and destroyed the almost-finished portal. Since she disappeared in the attack, the entire Horde probably thought she'd been in on it. So really, she had nothing to live for anyway.

Catra closed her eyes, admitting to herself that was a lie. She did not want to die. But it wasn't like she ever got what she wanted anyway.

"I know you're awake," Glimmer said dryly. "Your tail is twitching."

Catra stilled it—too late.

"Adora wants to say goodbye to you," Glimmer said. "She's been crying for days. She even went to Shadow Weaver and begged her to save you." She waited, as if knowing this would finally prompt Catra to speak.

Hating herself for it, Catra did, her voice coming out raspy and faint. "What did Shadow Weaver say?"

"That she doesn't know what's wrong with you, either. She claims nothing she did to you should have resulted in… this." This being the endless burning pain, and the slow, unstoppable draining away of Catra's life energy, her vital signs dropping bit by bit by bit for no apparent reason. "It might be some effect of the combined magics that were used on you."

She almost, almost kept the guilt out of her voice in that last sentence. Catra smiled bitterly. You're going to need a thicker skin to get through this war, Sparkles. Can't let a little thing like watching someone be tortured to death by her foster mother get to you.

It took a minute for Glimmer to speak again. "Anyway, maybe it's unethical to force a dying girl to talk to someone she doesn't want to talk to. But I don't care about you. I care about Adora. So I've already sent a messenger to tell her you're asking for her."

Catra tensed. Which hurt.

"If you want to send her away again when she gets here, I can't stop you. But you'll be the one looking her in the face when you do it. In fact, let me make sure of that." Glimmer stepped forward and put a hand on Catra's shoulder. Before she could react, the world dissolved into sparkles and wind-chimes—and when it came back, Catra was turned the other way in the bed, facing the doorway. She was also violently nauseous.

By the time she could see straight again, Glimmer was gone.

*

Adora stepped into the room, looking shy and… grief-stricken, Catra thought.

Dry your tears, Adora, Catra snarled silently. I'm not dead yet.

"Catra? You… you asked for me?" The tentative hope in Adora's voice was unbearable.

She could say No. She could say Your manipulative little friend lied to you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I wish I had died without ever seeing you again.

Instead, she looked at the dark windows she would probably never see sunlight through again, and whispered, "Yes."

Adora hurried to her side, taking the chair a doctor had left and moving it closer. "Are you… are you comfortable? Can I get you anything?" She started to stand up again. "Let me get you—"

Catra grabbed her wrist; it felt like moving through honey, and she couldn't grip very hard, but she managed it. "No. I'm fine." She was hardly fine, of course—moving had sent a renewed ripple of pain through her body—but there wasn't anything Adora could do about that. Nothing they'd given her had helped the pain at all.

Adora sat down again, and shifted Catra's grip until they were holding hands, fingers interlaced. Catra waited for the touch to make the pain worse, but… it didn't. It might even have felt a little better.

The silence stretched, grew awkward. Catra couldn't stop looking at their hands. At least it was easier than looking at Adora's face.

"Did you want to talk about something?" Adora asked finally.

"Like what?" Catra rasped. "The war? Betrayal and broken promises? Your sparkly tiara and how it makes you so much more special than me?" The brief rush of speech left her gasping, which hurt.

Adora closed her eyes, as if to let the words wash over her and away. "I'll talk about anything you want," she said quietly.

Anything she wanted? That was a dangerous offer. Catra used the time while she caught her breath to decide on her most important question. She might only get one, before Adora got sick of her and left, or—or she ran out of time.

"Why did you leave me?" she said, her voice flat and measured. "Not the noble reason about saving the world. The truth. If you had to leave the Horde—fine. Why didn't you come back for me?"

Adora's eyes grew suspiciously shiny as she looked down at their joined hands, tracing slow circles with her thumb.

"Because I knew you would talk me into staying," she whispered at last. "You were the one person who could. And I couldn't do that, Catra, I couldn't live with myself if I stayed. But I also wouldn't be able to leave you, not on purpose. So I couldn't… I couldn't put myself in that position, I couldn't risk it."

Catra heard her own labored breathing halt in shock. "You… You would have stayed? For me? If I'd had the chance to ask?"

Tears were trickling down Adora's face. "Yes," she said, the word barely a breath, looking away in shame.

Of course Adora was ashamed of this confession that had given Catra the first spark of happiness and hope she'd felt in… longer than she wanted to think about. Catra's laugh took her by surprise, and spiraled instantly into a desperate choking cough that sent lightning arcs of pain through her body. Alarmed, Adora caught her convulsing body and held her, stroking her back and murmuring stupid nonsensical reassurances. Catra couldn't keep her claws from digging into Adora's skin, but if it hurt Adora gave no sign.

On a wall behind Adora, the doctors had left some kind of array of crystals that monitored Catra's condition. Most of them had turned from green to amber in the last few hours, and none were very bright. Several of them went out while Catra was coughing. A few lit again once she had her breath back. Most didn't.

You are not going to be here when the sun rises. Magic couldn't fix this one, not runestone magic, not She-Ra, not sorcery. Nothing could fix it.

And she was too tired and scared to fight the fact that Adora holding her felt better than anything ever had.

"Okay," Adora murmured, "you're okay, you're okay now. Do you want some water?"

Catra shook her head. "Could you…" She almost couldn't say the words, certainly couldn't look Adora in the face while she did it. "Could you just… lay down with me and—and hold me like when we were kids?"

"I can do that," Adora said without hesitation. Maybe even eagerly.

She moved Catra over in the bed with gentle, casual strength, and slid in next to her. This close, all Catra's senses were flooded with her—Adora's warmth, her scent, her heartbeat, their legs tangled together, Adora's arms around her and her forehead pressed against Catra's. It was almost enough to drown out the pain.

"I should have taken you with me from the beginning," Adora said softly. "I would have, if I'd known. It all happened so fast… and then when I tried, you wouldn't come. I did it wrong somehow, I did everything wrong."

"You did everything wrong? I'm second in command of the Evil Horde." Catra didn't quite have the breath to laugh. "I should have gone with you. I wish I had. I wish I'd done it all differently." She hadn't intended to say all of that, hadn't expected to mean it. She was too tired to lie, even to herself. "I'm sorry, Adora."

Adora's mouth opened in shock. She knew better than anyone that Catra didn't apologize. She'd been forced to do it all too often, as a baring of the throat, a submission to those with power over her; she didn't submit like that by choice, never. But this one didn't feel like defeat or humiliation. It felt like giving back something she'd stolen.

She and Adora looked at each other for a long wordless moment, almost too close for their eyes to focus. And then Catra shifted forward and kissed her.

And maybe this was why Catra hadn't sent Adora away when she saw her in the doorway. Maybe it was why she had refused to talk to her until Glimmer forced the issue. Maybe everything came down to this—Catra wanting this, wanting her, knowing she wouldn't and couldn't and shouldn't have her, and knowing that now there was no more time to wait and nothing left to lose.

Adora gasped, and Catra was so sure she would pull away that it took her a second to realize she hadn't. Instead, slow and unsure, she was kissing Catra back.

Everything Catra thought she knew about the world seemed to tilt sideways, or maybe she was just lightheaded from kissing Adora harder, deeper, again, again, shifting to press their bodies together, touching and being touched in a tangle of warm limbs…

She couldn't keep up. Far too soon, she had to break away, gasping, vision clouding over.

"Are you okay?" Adora said, breathless and shaky. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—it's all right, just breathe." Her touch now was an attempt to be comforting, steadying, instead of… what it had been a moment ago, and the frustration of that was sharp but useless. Catra tried to make herself relax and breathe.

"You should rest," Adora murmured, when Catra had managed to calm down a little. "It's awfully late, you should sleep. Build up your strength. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow."

Glimmer hadn't told her, then. Good. Catra flicked a glance at the monitoring crystals, hoping Adora wouldn't notice them. There weren't any green ones left.

"Stay with me?"

"Of course," Adora said. "I'll stay as long as you want."

The room fell silent, only the sound of their breathing, and Adora's heartbeat in her ear. Adora ran her fingers through Catra's hair, slow and absent-minded, like she always used to do.

Neither of them said anything about the kiss, or the apology, or anything else. Adora no doubt thought they would have time when Catra was stronger. That worked for Catra. She didn't want to talk about it, ever, and now she wouldn't have to.

Eventually, Adora drifted off to sleep. Catra tried to do the same. Dying in her sleep wasn't the fate she'd ever expected for herself, but it was a victory of sorts, wasn't it? To fall asleep in Adora's arms and just not wake up—there were much worse ways to go than that.

She couldn't manage it, though. The pain was just a little too much to let her doze off. She closest she could come was a sort of blank trance, timeless, drifting.

Sometime in the night, she became distantly aware that she wasn't breathing. She felt too fuzzy and tired to be afraid, just… sad. She didn't want to go yet. She wanted to stay with Adora. But since when did Catra get what she wanted?

She squeezed Adora's hand with the last of her strength, just as everything faded to black.

 *

Light blazed in her eyes, air filling her lungs with a harsh gasp, her nerves sizzling with an entirely different pain than the one that had sapped away at her for days—sharp, pure, clean. She floundered upright, coughing and dazzled and dizzy.

On the other side of the room—it was actually only a little brighter than before—Adora and Glimmer stared at her in utter shock.

Adora was sitting on the floor, looking like she'd collapsed there, her face puffy and damp. Glimmer hovered with an arm around Adora's shoulders. Apparently Catra's death had not gone unnoticed for long, which was… sort of touching, actually.

Catra cleared her throat awkwardly, and managed a version of her usual cockiness. "Hey, Adora."

"Catra?" Adora breathed, staggering to her feet and approaching her with a hand cautiously extended, as if afraid Catra would vanish.

"How…?" Glimmer glanced over her shoulder at the monitor crystals, all of which were bright green again.

Catra used Adora's hand to pull herself out of the bed. Her legs felt a little shaky from days of disuse, but they held her up. And nothing hurt. Nothing hurt.

"You were dead, Catra," Glimmer said. "Explain!"

Catra grinned. "You know the old saying that cats have nine lives? I guess I'm down to…" She did a quick count on her fingers. "Five. I should still have five left."

"Wait, you knew?" Adora's eyes narrowed, her hand pulling away from Catra's. "You knew you weren't really going to die, and you let me think…"

"I didn't know." Catra swallowed hard, her smile falling away. "The resurrections are magic—my people's magic. And every other kind of magic had already failed against whatever Shadow Weaver did to me. I swear I didn't think it was going to work this time!"

Adora turned to look at Glimmer, who sighed deeply, crossing her arms. "Well, I believe her. She would never have let herself look so weak if she didn't honestly think she was dying."

Catra gave the princess a rude hand gesture, which she returned.

"So you meant it," Adora said softly, stepping closer again. "What you said. What—what you did. You meant it?"

Catra felt her cheeks burning.

She could say no. Say it had been fear and old sentiment talking. That if she wasn't actually going to die than she'd be heading back to the Fright Zone now, thanks, and any objections could address themselves to her claws.

But she didn't want to go back.

"I'm not in the habit of saying things I don't mean, Adora," she snapped instead. "Breaking promises is your—ack!" She yelped as Adora flung her arms around her, squeezing painfully hard.

"This is not because I like you," Catra wheezed. "I just, you know, I think my career's gone as far with the Horde as it's going to and I'm looking for new opportunities—"

Adora grabbed Catra's face in both hands and kissed her hard. Catra felt herself melt into it instantly, ears and tail relaxing, no part of her able to resist.

Glimmer smacked a hand against her face, muttering exasperated profanities.

Outside the window, the first pink trace of sunrise appeared.

[sapphic-sails]

After a very unsatisfactory exam, I bring you:

@spop-palentines 's DAY 26: FORGIVENESS

With these two dorks:

TITLE: Once Upon a Rebellion

"Hey."

Adora rubbed her eyes and cleared the blurry waves that fogged them, which she'd been too distracted to remove earlier. She sat with her knees drawn to her chest, one arm wielding her sword lazily, the other hugging her legs. She looked up to see Glimmer, her sparkly cloak wrapped around her, come in, looking like she had never been asleep.

"Hey," she returned as Glimmer sat down beside her. Her hair was a mess of pink twigs entangled in a complex matrix which reminded her of Catra's one long hair, branches sticking out like she'd just hissed at somebody, which was pretty much true all the time.

"Can't sleep, huh?" Glimmer said, adjusting the cloak to cover her feet too. "Me neither."

"Nightmares again?" Adora asked.

Glimmer nodded lightly. "Bow helps, sometimes. But it's hard to keep them away. I keep seeing ... him." She shuddered and tightened the cloak around her. "I keep banging against the force field that kept me held in the cell and every time I look behind, the wall seems to close up on me."

Adora dissolved her sword and resting her chin on her knees, listened intently. She remembered the white-washed corridors, the transparent tubes holed into Prime's body as he refilled his... essence. Adora didn't like to think of what or who could've constituted each drop of the green fluid Prime took into his body as his own.

"Hey, where's Catra?" Glimmer asked, after a brief pause. The casual tone made Adora miserable. She wished she could answer with a simple 'a stroll in the woods' or 'standing guard with Melog'. But the truth of her absence was unavoidable as she recalled their argument, Catra's disbelief and how Adora only succeeded in driving her best friend further apart.

"Running away from me," Adora answered, deadpan.

"Running away?" Glimmer's pitch rose an octave higher but her voice managed to remain low, sounding piercing to Adora right next to her. "What - is she not going to fight anymore? She ran away? Why?"

"I don't know," Adora said, quietly and quickly, jumbling up her words. "We had a fight. I think she thinks I still value Shadow Weaver more than her."

Glimmer was silent for a while. It occurred to a Adora that Shadow Weaver was her mentor too, once, training her to work towards the same goal with similar twisted approaches, revenge set on both of their minds. It was a time, Adora recalled, when Princess Glimmer was lost, the Glimmer Adora loved spending time with, the Glimmer who taught her to relax. Queen Glimmer was colder with only the downfall of the Horde set on her mind.

"Do you?" she asked, finally, her voice carrying no judgment or accusation. Just soft, therapeutic curiosity.

"No!" Adora hissed. "I would never do that. It was never about Shadow Weaver.

Glimmer didn't say anything. Adora sighed and continued, "You know what it's like, don't you? This involuntary inclination to please her because she has you convinced you both want the same things."

"I did it to bring down the Horde," Glimmer said, getting defensive. "My mother died because of-"

She broke off, apparently remembering the same thing as Adora. Adora reminisced that day like a throbbing nightmare, how Glimmer had looked at her when she blamed She Ra for failing to save her mother. A part of Adora always blamed herself for Angella's absence, knew that if she had gone for the Sword of Protection, the leader of the Rebellion would have been with them, a calming and reasonable voice for the Princess Alliance. But hearing it out loud from Glimmer had broken down several walls that Adora had built to keep from breaking her sword herself.

"I'm sorry," Glimmer said, her voice wavering. Adora turned to look at her best friend. Glimmer covered her face with her hands. "Ugh, I hate this. I hate this!"

"Glimmer, I- " Adora began but Glimmer put her hands away, exposing two pink eyes, and went on.

"Adora, I've never regretted saying anything as much as I do telling you that. You didn't fail to save my mother. I did. If Shadow Weaver and I hadn't toyed with Catra, we'd have reached the portal machine on time. All of this," she gestured around her to the entire hideout where every remaining Rebellion fighter slept, "is my fault. The portal, the Heart of Etheria, Horde Prime... I'm sorry."

She choked out a sob. Adora placed both of her hands on her shoulders, forcing her to face her. "Glimmer, it's okay. It's okay. It's my fault too. I let Angella go instead of me. I left you alone when we headed for Beast Island even though I should've been there for you."

"If you had not let my mother go, I'd have lost you, Adora," Glimmer said, sniffling. "The Rebellion would have lost its best soldier. We'd have been lost without you. I," she squeezed Adora's hand, "would've been lost without you."

Adora wordlessly pulled Glimmer towards her, wrapping her arms around her friend. Glimmer hugged her back, tightening the embrace.

Perhaps, Adora thought, this is what Catra meant.

[literaphobe]

season three of she-ra rated by catradora content

the price of power: adora talks about how she thinks the others at the horde can change too and when u think about it in the “at this point in the story, she still hoped catra would change” way it’s like wow :’) we knew that but wow :’) it sucks tho that in this scenario she’s actually wondering specifically if shadow weaver can change, which :/ hm :/ bc shadow weaver sucks. adora really fucking called her out on her abuse tho which is so sexy, and yes that has nothing to do with catradora i just felt like i really wanted to mention it at least <3 shadow weaver is a loserrrr <3 but.... she does mention “catra betrayed me” which makes adora do her “oh, catra?👀” eyebrow raise. i swear she cannot keep a straight fucking face whenever someone mentions catra. it’s like. are you lgbt or something? :/ 2/10

huntara: no catra this episode, but adora’s reaction to huntara will forever go down as one of her stupidest gay moments. u think catra knew super huge buff ladies were adora’s type? how fucking funny would it be if catra thought she never stood a chance with adora not because of the internalized homophobia shadow weaver instilled in them but simply because she thought she was not tall and buff enough for adora’s taste. “adora doesn’t want me!!!!! not like i want her..... because i’m not swole😔” 0/10

once upon a time in the waste: very funny and sexy of catra 2 be like. hm. i was sent here to die. i have completely given up on my hopes and dreams. oh wait what did you say? she-ra?😏 and she was blonde?👀 she’s got a sword?😩 she was angry?😽 her name is adora?👅 and all of a sudden catra is like nope existential crisis over. i’m gay again. and also evil again. that mix culminates in her giving a sexy monologue. did you know that if you’re gay and evil you will give very sexy monologues? and also sword lesbians will fall in love with you despite your questionable morals? anyway, catra takes over the whole of the crimson waste. i won’t discuss how since technically it doesn’t involve catradora but it was really hot okay😔 also adora was being really hot and powerful and fearless (she did not even flinch as bats flew in her face. hello?) and Angery this ep but i will also not get into it😩 i will however remark upon how both catra and adora low key had meltdown monologues this ep, and it is :( but also hot and cool of them. now, i will move onto when they meet <3 catra starts slow clapping as her goons creep onto mara’s ship and poison dart the best friend squad. they only send three darts flying and the last one is blocked by huntara. we have to assume that catra only ordered her team to send three darts for huntara, bow, and glimmer, leaving adora for last because catra has to greet her with, and let’s say it all together—“hey, adora😼”. adora tries to make a run for her sword but catra uses her new sexy cool whip to take it away. “i think this might be the quickest i ever won a fight. always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, adora?” adora tells huntara to save bow and glimmer first, leaving adora as catra’s only prisoner. 👀👀👀👀 soon after, everyone is celebrating, and catra sits in the big chair on mara’s ship like it’s a throne, casually draped over with adora’s sword in her hand, the long blade just resting between her legs. and. hooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooiiiiii. let me just. let me just have a second over here okay folks? this is all very hard for my sexuality to take. i don’t think u all realize how hard it is to make these evaluations. every day i have a breakdown over how hot one of them is. it’s one thing to just watch the show but every time something gay happens (so like, every five seconds) i gotta pause it and take notes (by take notes i really mean start ranting about it like this) and then i gotta like rewind it and shit to double check and i have to force myself to just be repeatedly subjected to the gayness. starting to get a little homophobic tbh! okay back to the show. catra is so fucking sweet and makes everyone cheer scorpia on too. she breaks out into this beautiful giggle. oh my god her laugh. bitches falling for this catgirl left and right smh. catra grabs scorpia’s claw and drags her away from the party. we also find out this is when catra learns about what a party is. remember how adora didn’t know what a party was either? :( damn. they deserve to have absolute ragers ok. catra starts talking about how valued and cool she will be when they go back and show hordak the sword, etc, and scorpia is like. but what if we didn’t do that. what if we just stayed here and had a gay life. a good honest gay life filled with sick parties and gang leading. and catra is like oh right.... u have a point..... i do hate the horde...... wonder why that is.... and then scorpia makes a fatal mistake. she says “forget adora!” which is about the dumbest thing you can tell a self destructive catgirl who’s been in love with adora her whole life but also kinda resents her atm. and catra is like perhaps i don’t want to forget adora. did u consider that scorpia? did you not think about how i crave her lips upon my mouth every night? fuck u im gonna go uh... find adora n maybe tie her up even more idk >:( catra goes to “check on the prisoner”, according to her own words. what does that mean, catra. like what. ur gonna go see if adora wants some tea? something 2 eat?👅 someone to kiss? Fkskdjdjdj adora is obviously struggling against her restraints and trying to break free, and the second she sees her she goes “catra, you can’t do this! >:(“ and catra is like “well, hello to you, too.” because MANNERS, adora, like god damn it catra always puts in the tender loving care and effort to greet you and you can’t even say hello? :( catra dismisses the goon who was previously guarding adora, because when you.... talk to your..... best friend turned enemy who’s now your prisoner. ur gonna want some privacy ya know😌😩👀😔 anyway catra is like ok.... once again.... y can’t i do this. and adora is like more horde army might come in!!! which. adora baby i love you but maybe don’t make that the thesis statement of your sales pitch? to the person who was second in command at the horde?? not to nitpick but if i were u i would’ve just said “noooooo don’t open a portal that might destroy reality ur so sexy ahaha” OR “if u give me back my sword and decide NOT to rip apart the fabric of this dimension i’ll kiss you on the mouth❤️” i know that u think ur feelings are one sided and that catra isn’t in love with you and that you can’t seduce her to the bright side💔 but u actually could have 💔 fkdkdjdjdj moving on.... catra says “never a dull moment with you❤️” which is weirdly so romantic. like yeah they’re enemies but catra gets bored when adora isn’t around. life is always exciting when adora is there, in catra’s eyes :’( like damn bitch if you like her so much why don’t you just marry her haha. please? <3 adora continues to explain that we will ALL lose if hordak opens a portal, light hope and mara said that opening a portal will endanger everyone!! and catra says the funniest thing. “you’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? you should really try to get over that. :/“ LFKDKFKDKFKFKFJ GIRL YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUNNY. but then adora says the wrong thing :( she brought up you know who and said “shadow weaver told me” and catra.... :( she’s like. how did. she tell you. and adora’s voice goes soft and it’s like “you didn’t know?” because from what she knows catra is allegedly the one who betrayed shadow weaver, not the other way around. and catra grabs adora by the collar and pulls her in and adora gets this gasp and. let me just scream for five minutes. okay. i’m back. so. catra pulls her in and she’s like HOW. and adora just very slowly and cautiously tells her the truth. that shadow weaver is in bright moon. and :( catra :( she lets go of adora and comes to this. very destructive realization that shadow weaver “left her” for adora and that all the pain she’s felt is all Because Of Adora. that, just by being adora, everything, all the happiness that catra could have had, has been taken away. which she is wrong about but that’s what she thinks :( and adora realizes that this is. not good. and she gently goes “catra?” because the look on her face must be worrying to adora, and catra starts to walk away and adora desperately calls out to her. “catra, please, you have to listen!” but...... it’s too late :( and catra is enveloped by the darkness. 9/10 for the collar grabbing shit and just the inherent gayness of their connection and interactions but also this is all so sad bros :( my bros are all devastated

moment of truth: catra walks back into the horde with her arm around adora’s shoulder. hm! Hm! HM! really doesn’t feel like she needs to do that! but she’s doing it anyway! later on, entrapta and adora are alone and talking. “catra would say anything to get whatever she wants.” true, but also not true, adora. she wants to be your gf, but has she said anything about it? no :/ that’s in like 2 seasons. and you were literally about to die so she low key had nothing to gain. so :/ think carefully next time. fjsjfjsjdjdjd entrapta pulls out the funniest cutest bar graphs of data, and there’s like four categories and for some reason catra has low scores for the first three but a really high score for the last one? i desperately want to know what that is. adora says “look, i understand. catra was my friend, too.” and she casts her eyes to the side when she says this. as if.... that statement is a lot more loaded than it seems. because yes catra was adora’s friend. but also wasn’t she, at the same time, so much more than that? yes <3 it was because they were best friends <3 gal pals <3 “but she makes bad decisions. this is one of them.” :( yeah i mean what am i supposed to do. disagree with that? it’s so wild to think about how even through all of this adora never hated catra. arguably, she never stopped loving her either. which. sigh😔 pour one out boys we are yearning tonight! entrapta leaves the room, asking adora if she’ll try to escape. and adora is like “no?👀” which is irrelevant but also really funny. another irrelevant thing i want to bring up is catra when she’s losing in a fight against shadow weaver. “so, what? you’re on the side of good now? you made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?” bro. fucking.... bro. catra’s lines istg.... also her being able to take on gang leaders and princesses and take those people down easily but to lose so quickly to shadow weaver... y’all know what that is right :( sigh. wait. i’m not done let’s sit very sadly on this next line for a bit. “do you know what happened to me after you escaped? do you even care?” i’m gonna cry okay. right. back to catradora. catra is. really unhinged and devastated and destructive right now :( and so she marches into entrapta’s lab and demands that they fire up the portal machine. entrapta says they can’t, because “adora was right” and immediately that sets catra off. she gives this barely restrained chuckle and is like “adora is right.....” and she’s just. having a full on breakdown. she’s just filled with so much anger and resentment.... i can’t even joke and call it a hate boner man, and that sucks because i would love to call it a hate boner :( “adora gets EVERYTHING she wants” no catra, you are wrong. she wants you. she does not have you. case closed. adora has literally only truly wanted one thing in her life, and she does not have it because you won’t give it to her 😔 in conclusion, adora p much never gets what she wants :( why don’t you go over and hug her and then maybe you’ll calm down. i know it’s more complicated than that but still😔 anyway, catra is very determined to not let adora win, so in order to beat adora, she decides they have to open the portal no matter what, because that’s the one thing adora seems to not want right now. some very not chill stuff happens, and catra runs into hordak’s lab and demands that he opens the portal. she lies to hordak and says “oh you can’t trust anyone, especially a PRINCESS” and she turns over to glare pointedly at adora. which is. SUCH a bitter ex thing to do. “they’ll just use you to get what they want” CATRA SHE LOVES YOU :( SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU SHE ONLY EVER WANTED TO BE WITH YOU :( and also she was raised to think she only had worth if she did what others expected of her and that everyone’s happiness and safety was somehow her responsibility. and that it would be better for her to die than for others to get hurt. she was never trying to use you :( you were the only thing that ever made her selfish :( bow, glimmer, and shadow weaver run in and fight with hordak and catra, and catra realizes she has to pull the lever now or it’ll be too late. adora desperately yells “catra, please, don’t!” and catra looks at her for a last time, evil smirking before she does it. roll credits. 8.5/10

remember: oh, we’re really in it now huh :( we hear the last lines from catra and adora from the last episode, and i think this is a part of adora’s dream. she is woken up by catra gently saying her name <3 then by catra a little bit angrily saying her name fjsjdjdjd adora wakes up with a shock and catra is sitting on top of her. HHHHHH. okay. adora shoves catra off and catra is like ???? damn what usually u pull me closer and hug me when i wake u up😔😔 wtf. but catra grabs adora’s wrists to calm her down anyway and gives her this pretty reassuring look, and she jokes “heh, since when do you sleep in? u usually wake up early to flirt with me!” as we all know adora gets nightmares even from her days in the horde so catra just treats this as normal and tries to make adora feel better as usual. ground her and say lighthearted things to make adora remember that she is safe. i mean technically the universe is collapsing in on itself rn so making adora feel safe isn’t the Best thing to do but catra also thinks the fake reality IS reality atm so that’s not her fault <3 adora is confused about how she got “here” and catra finds this strange because adora is in her room! she has her own room now, because she’s force captain! which makes u wonder whether catra and adora would sleep in the same bed if adora was force captain. would catra creep in and sleep in her bed still? would they lock the door and cuddle? oh well! guess we’ll never know! they... are so soft here, just smiling at each other, catra worried about adora, adora smiling back and deciding to just dismiss what happened as a weird dream. “there was something i needed to fix...” “of course you dream about work. there’s nothing to fix adora. everything’s perfect.” hhhh i know everyone in the fake reality thinks Everything’s Perfect too but can we just be gay for a second and think about how a perfect life for catra is just... to be with adora. can we just chomp down on that meaty thought for a sec? :( ok anyway, catra puts her hand on adora’s shoulder and adora smiles and is like wow ur right :) this does feel pretty perfect i mean catra and i are in bed together what could be so wrong💞😜😘👅😎😩 catra pulls adora up to her feet and says “come on, get up” and adora is perfectly happy to just chase after catra. it’s so fucking unfortunate tho that she decides at the last second to pick her ugly ass jacket up. like baby, no. u look perfectly hot as is in that white top. but she needs the jacket to see her force captain badge so she can get Visions or whatever. like goddamn i know the world was collapsing in on itself but imagine if shadow weaver had never been like abusive and the horde was just some chill ass ugly hangout spot instead of a fascist regime. catra and adora really could’ve just been happy huh? :( anyway catra gets kinda annoyed that her gf is not chasing after her any more and instead putting on her ugly ass jacket and looking at it in the mirror. so she’s like “adora! :(“ and adora goes running. she always comes when catra calls for her😌😌😌😌 and then the opening credits play, giving me whiplash. wow that was such a gay fucking cold open. adora walks side by side with catra and is a little weirded out by all the people saluting her and shit. and she’s like lmao wtf what are they all looking at and catra is like u u beautiful idiot. ur hot, and also the invasion of thaymor that u led went perfectly❤️ ur the hero of the hour i’m so proud of you babe❤️ catra is just a proud happy gf who smiles so beautifully and adora is getting more Visions and Flashbacks. but catra is so hot when she’s proud of her that adora decides that she’s gonna be like YEAH OMG I DID THAT WAR CRIME RIGHTS <3 and salutes people like a fucking idiot. and catra does the whole flirty “oh please, you couldn’t have done it without me ;)” bit and wraps her gay arm around gay adora who looks like she’s in heaven, hilariously pushing adora down a bit because catra is SHORT FJSJDJDJD and adora is like “rightttt ;) what would i ever do without you ;)” and man to be a horde soldier witnessing their flirting. i would start yelling slurs at them immediately. adora elbows catra with her arm and they both laugh, but the force causes catra to bump into a horde soldier. and the soldier makes the fatal mistake of reacting normally and being like HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING TWERP and catra is not amused. adora puts her hands on her hips, glaring at the soldier, and he immediately gets so fucking scared. and the soldier is like UHUHUH FORCE CAPTAIN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE— I’M SO SORRY. didn’t know she was what? DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS WHAT???? gay????? banging this angry catgirl????? in the middle of flirting with her??????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. what does it ALL mean?????? and adora is just like YEAH U BETTER BE >:( disMISSED >:( like fucking WHAT?????? yeah how dare u get mad at my gf for bumping into you. it is YOUR fault for existing while we were roughhousing as part of a very intricate ritual. u ruined the FLOW of our flirting u jackass. u fucking bitch. now we gotta start all over again :( and then like the soldier leaves while v terrified and keeps bowing at them and catra and adora just bursts out laughing at each other. they’re that lesbian couple who will bully u in school and feel zero remorse for it. that is so fucking sexy. i wish that were me. catra proceeds to make fun of the soldier she bumped into and didn’t even apologize to all “oh, force captain, don’t hurt me! UHAHASHUAH” and adora plays along with the re-enactment by posing and acting tough. catra really do be flexing her privilege as gf of everyone’s boss huh. she’s that secretary who WILL spit in your coffee and kick you in the shin all because the CEO is in love with her and they’re like slamming ass. catra is like. just straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that she’s untouchable because adora is in love with her. that’s just. that’s just greaaat. they both start laughing again at their own jokes. and yeah they’re both pretty funny people but like ok lesbians. have fun being happy or whatever. catra is like “too good” and adora is like hehehe baby!!!! where are we going again and catra is like to the locker room!! there’s something i wanna show you😘😘😘 because you know they’re in love. them just walking down a corridor together feels like a straight up date. adora thinks they’re taking The Long Way instead of this shortcut she knows with a side door but that door is gone and suddenly this throws Doubt again. and i guess that door got swallowed up by the reality-collapsing portal but damn adora :/ what’s wrong with taking the long way? :/ too good to spend some quality time w ur gf? :/ JFJSJDJ anyway catra is like what? no this way is the right way :) the scene can be read as cute gfs who argue about directions even tho it’s just a walk to the locker room ❤️ i wouldn’t say it’s the right way to read the scene bc the point is that parts of reality as adora knows it is disappearing but shhh. i am gay <3 catra immediately starts worrying about adora again and she’s like DO U HAVE A CONCUSSION :( and like grabs adora’s face which is so cute. she also accidentally shoves adora towards her chest so adora has No Choice but to stare :) good for you adora “i know you get hit on the head a lot” JFKSKDKSJDJD man but catra gf goals tho :( get u a girl who will check if u have a concussion because you get hit on the head a lot, most of it accidents 😩😩😩 “but i figured your dumb little hair poof would cushion the blow” HDHJSSHAHSHSHSH GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THO UR HAIR POOF IS DUMB😳😳😳 adora is a tiny bit >:( about being roasted for her hair choices and also a bit >:) because catra touched her and she’s like LMAOOO IM ALL CHILL M8 😩👌🏻💅🏻😎 “don’t make me kick your butt” as she shoves catra. wow adora! watch where you’re putting your hands! jk i know i know :) you simply have no choice because the only place to shove someone is to push their tiddies :) i understand and approve :) catra responds to adora’s threats with “pft ;) as if you could” which is just yet another invitation for them to “fight” :). u know how i feel about catradora and their roughhousing? it’s like. u know how people talk about men fighting each other as an excuse to touch? i feel like catradora said yeah that’s ours now. and they’re right. it’s theirs. they literally. they fucking giggle and shit as they start shoving and hitting each other all the way to the locker room. and lonnie is like SURPRISE and adora’s reaction is so funny she legit looks like she got mad p*ssy blocked and she’s like the FUCK. and catra isn’t as mad bc she kind of like planned this cute like i love you adora❤️ surprise party. because it’s a surprise party! for adora! adora is like damn whats this?? grey ration bar cake w my face drawn on it? also from the looks of the drawing i feel like catra definitely drew it. isn’t that so fucking cute. adora hugs lonnie (yay) and kyle (what the fuck gross???) and she’s like u guys 😩😩😩u got the gray kind.... that’s way better than the brown kind.... lonnie is like “hey, it was catra’s idea!” implying that catra definitely specifically told them to make the cake out of the gray ration bars, not the brown ones. and adora. let’s all take a deep breath. she goes. “oh yeah? ;)” in the most. insufferably flirty way ever. like in that Wow This Was All You Huh ;) way, with her stupid hands on her stupid hips giving catra this 😏😏😏😏😏😏 look. and catra is like ;) casually leaning against the wall, her arms all crossed. it is interesting to note that adora keeps putting her hands on her hips and catra keeps crossing her arms. i think that’s really cute. catra says “eh, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it” but it is a big deal catra. u don’t just plan cute surprise parties for anyone. and the fact that this is YOU we’re talking about? for catra planning a thoughtful surprise party catered to adora’s tastes all because she’s proud of her accomplishments..... is on par with proposing marriage. adora won’t let catra live this down tho. “wow, i can’t believe you like me ;) that is so embarrassing for you!” and she grabs catra for head scratches. catra giggles and pushes against adora saying “stop it😳😳(no don’t stop bro don’t stop😩😩) get off 🙄🙄 (wait actually don’t get off😩😩) this is not 😡 because i like you😳😳(it’s because i love you💞)” and she shoves adora off only to IMMEDIATELY pounce on adora, making adora laugh so fucking happily. kyle is secretly a lesbophobe tho so when he sees this gay display he’s like WUUUUOHOH I DROP CAKE :( and we get this VERY quick frame of catra and adora with their fingers interlocked before they pull apart at the crash and look at kyle. that is so fucking rude of u kyle. we could’ve gotten a few more seconds of catra and adora interlacing their fingers but NO. fuck u. thankfully, the euphoria of being gay is still burning strong for catra and adora, so they laugh happily instead of beating the shit out of kyle. how sweet <3 adora sees the word MARA in one of the cake pieces, and she’s very thrown off right before catra holds her shoulder and is like “hang on, you got something right... THERE!” and she like throws grey bar sludge into adora’s face ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 u know? how you pal around with your gals? adora rubs the grey cake stuff off her face, and then.... ugh i don’t even wanna say her name. we were all having such a good gay time :( [redacted] walks in and tells adora to get off the floor, and tells catra to get herself cleaned up. and [redacted] tells adora to come with her. adora gazes gayly upon catra’s face who gives her a reassuring smile that tells adora she’s okay, so adora runs along. catra looks lovingly at adora while she walks away. shadow weaver praises adora’s successful war crime and adora is like i couldn’t have done it without the others aka catra <3 and in this fake reality she succeeded in persuading shadow weaver to let catra come with her! adora goes to the force captain briefing and gets roasted by scorpia because scorpia is still like. jealous of adora because you know..... you know how you hate the person your crush is in love with? yeah <3 adora freaks out because the universe is falling apart and she keeps getting visions from her real life. and then catra appears, and all the weirdness stops for a moment. i think it is so interesting how the world starts falling apart faster when catra isn’t there, but when catra is there things in the fake reality start to look and feel a little more normal. it’s like.... catra and adora’s connection is so strong that when they’re together... they can stabilize the collapse of a reality. just for a little while. just to have a little more time together. their gay levels are THAT strong. they’re like level 5000 lesbians. and they just keep leveling up as the show goes on which is why by s5 they can defeat an intergalactic conquerer just by making out LMAOOOOO anyway. catra is very worried about her wife. she’s all “adora, what is wrong?” yeah she’s so worried she doesn’t even use a contraction. adora takes out the slip of paper and shows it to catra. “did you write this?????” and catra looks at it and is like “did i write a blank piece of paper? i’m gonna go with no.” which. KFKDKFKDKFKDKFFJ BROOOO WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY. it’s like not supposed to be funny because adora is having a meltdown but it’s so fucking funny i—moving on. adora starts properly freaking out and catra is like hey :( u ok omg :( calm down :( and she puts her hand on adora’s shoulder but adora swats it away like I CAN’T CALM DOWN :( and she starts rambling and referencing stuff that happened and this vision of catra betraying adora in promise shows up (i think it’s catra’s memory?????) and catra slaps adora. which. HEY :( but also it’s like very funny. and adora is like ow :( what was that? :( and catra is like sowwy!!!! :( u were freaking out!!!! and it was freaking me out!!!!! :( and adora is like well u didn’t have to Slap Me :(((((( and is like why would my evil catgirl gf do this. have i not loved her enough :( is this the thanks i get for loving her with my entire heart :( and catra grabs her arm and is like come on!!!! let’s get you outside!!!! you need some air :) and oh. oh man. oh to have my hand/arm lovingly held by a girl as she giggles and excitedly drags me somewhere. the fucking dream. adora protests against getting air which (??????) u don’t want air? but u need air? to breathe? i know adora is just trying to say she doesn’t need to like go to her and catra’s secret place at the highest edge of the horde but then oh guess what? she’s there with catra. and adora is like how did we get here.... and catra looks depressed because her gf is losing it and that’s so sad 😔 she’s like how did we get here? we climbed up :( like we always do :( or am i the only one who remembers that :( and adora is like idk what’s happening to me :( it’s like i’m losing my mind..... and catra is like you just need to relax <3 by hanging out with me <3 and adora is like ur probs right :( am fine :( everything fine :( and she gets this glimpse of catra and catra smiling evilly at her but catra gets up and is like huh! ofc im right! Everything’s Perfect! soon, the two of us are gonna be ruling etheria together, just like we always planned 😺😸😹😻😼😽😾🙀 and quietly, adora goes “is that what you really want? to rule the world?” and catra gets this UHHHHH look akin to when someone asks u “hey, do you like apples? or are you just gay for me?” and you gotta awkwardly answer “what.... nooooo..... i’m not gay i fucking love apples” and so catra gets the exact face that expresses this sentiment and she’s like “i mean, yeah, obviously. isn’t that what you want too?” and it’s like UGHHHH because clearly neither of them want to rule the world! ruling the world was just an excuse for catra to be with adora, and when adora inevitably says “hey maybe we shouldn’t rule the world” catra will take it to mean “i don’t want to be with you” instead of “ruling the world is bad” and it’s just. it really tears me the fuck up bros! when catra says don’t you want to rule the world too? she really means don’t you want to be with me? and it’s just. HHHHHHHHH. i can NOT. i have had it up to HERE. adora says “i don’t know (re ruling the world lmao i went on a tangent earlier)” and catra is like “don’t flake out on me now!” like ruling the world is meeting up for lunch and suddenly adora texted at 11:30 am that she’s not really feeling up to it today :/ “this is what we always wanted”, catra continues to say, and we all know that “this” is..... the freedom to be with each other, without everything else getting in the way. “everything will be perfect as long as we stay together”. and she is right about that. but also catra’s current definition of them “staying together” isn’t right. adora and catra were always supposed to meet halfway. they will both have to grow to do that. but let’s not get 2 deep😩 i am here to have meltdowns and make gay jokes only😌 and then adora says “what if we don’t stay together? what if it all goes wrong?” which is like. damn that’s the show right there KFKSJDJSJDJ and adora sees lightning again and she gets upset because why can’t catra see the reality-cracking lightning too!!!! why can’t catra see the light!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be doing good things and not evil things!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be coming with me, running away with me, being with me in a place that’s safe!!!!! and catra grabs her hand and is like “adora!!! stay with me, okay? :( you’re just seeing things. it’s all in your head” and it is all so terribly tragic and sad. ah, the age old argument. come with me, stay with me. i will be whispering this in decades’ time, spreading gay tales to my loved ones. after this, lonnie is calling for adora and catra. “thought we’d find you up there” FJSJDJSJDJD the way it’s just like an open secret that catra and adora are gay and have a gay hangout spot where they do gay things. incredible. adora finds out an entire week has passed all of a sudden and she grips her head in frustration and catra is like adora? :( and holds her in concern. and adora is like ranting about how there’s something wrong with space and time!! and catra is just freaked out and begging her to stop because adora please! please stop finding the destruction of reality weird and hold my hand! i haven’t been happy since the day you left! and.... hoo okay sadness. catra’s holding her arm and adora’s like we’re not supposed to be here!!! catra holds her upper arms and goes “adora, everything’s okay!” and adora snaps and tells her to stop saying that! because this isn’t right! because she will lose everything, including catra, if she does not fix this. “everyone keeps telling me everything is perfect but it’s not! everyone except... scorpia” so she runs away to find her and catra is like adora!!! adora, where are you going? please don’t go. don’t go where i can’t follow😔😔 but adora is gone. we get this whole thing with scorpia and adora and adora is straight up just so petty. about scorpia hating her. which mood because i want everyone to like me. all the time. but also adora in scorpia’s defense she has a crush on a certain catgirl who will Not Shut Up about you :/ adora gets flashbacks about catra and realizes that the girl she’s been inappropriately touching for the past.... day? is the one who did the thing that is destroying reality❤️ LMAOOOOO this would be like... hm actually not many situations available to describe this. except. have you been flirting with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? have you been in love with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? yeah stuff like that <3 “catra did this. she captured me, she took... the sword. she activated the portal!” LFKSKDKSKDKDK you know what? this would be 58384848484 times funnier if they had canonically banged during the fake reality before adora realized the world as they all knew it was about to end <3 and you know what? they did bone. but it was cut for time <3 KFKDKDKDK JKJK god i need to like shut up for once in my life. but if i did that, these evaluations which no one asked for would not exist❤️ adora loses scorpia and razz (temporarily) and lonnie and she finds catra again! even tho she now remembers that catra kidnapped her and took her sword and used it for the portal and activated her portal.... she immediately grabs catra and pulls her along with her. despite knowing all that..... for the moment she is acting on instinct and doesn’t care. she just wants to keep catra with her and keep catra safe because the portal is swallowing up so many people and she cannot lose catra. adora drags her to this weapons closet that closes behind them and catra, instead of kissing her in this enclosed space (WIMP), shakes her and is like hey! you’ve officially lost it, haven’t you? and adora is like listen, we have to go. now! scorpia, lonnie, kyle, rogelio, they’re all gone! but catra is like what are you talking about? who’s gone? and adora’s all they’re gone. there’s nothing left. and we’ll be next if we don’t get out of here right now. and she’s so firm about it putting her entire foot down because No. not catra. she Cannot lose her. but catra is so stuck in wanting some part of all this to be real that she’s arguing with adora that she’s not making sense and Everything Is Fine. and adora goes “don’t say it’s Perfect. i know it’s not perfect and so do you!” because... she just knows catra that well. and she knows catra is smart enough to see what’s going on if scorpia did that too. catra’s choosing to repress it all, but adora’s words snap catra into memory for a moment, and she remembers it, maybe even remembers it all, and i think.... it all just hurts too much and she’d rather not be in that reality so she acts like she doesn’t know a thing and tells adora she’s not going anywhere. frustrated because she can’t convince catra, adora picks up one of the stun barons and... tases catra KFKSKDKDKDKSKDK and i can’t help but think of when catra tased adora back in sword part 2 (1x02) and man that is not good but also so funny that they’ve both tased each other. there’s this desperation there in both instances that we should definitely not romanticize at all but they just. deep down they will just do close to anything to keep the other with them. and it is messed up! and i’m glad that a little ways down the road they unlearn this but also.... wow. adora catches catra tenderly in her arms as she slumps against her, literally fucking BRIDAL CARRYING catra out and running away from the crumbling horde. literally IMAGINE IF LIKE. catra did not wake up and fight with adora. imagine if catra had stayed passed out longer and adora had fixed the portal without anyone getting left behind. and catra was still unconscious and she like walks out of the portal back into where they all were with catra in her arms like that. just like hey i fixed the portal :) all of us nearly died and it was kind of partially this catgirl’s fault but i’m like low key desperately in love with her so can we keep her? lmao :-) anyway. adora steals a skiff again (lmao first ep throw back! remember their date) and flies her and catra out of the crumbling world. catra wakes up, watching adora’s determined face as she flies them out and catra’s like WAIT WTF DIDN’T U TASE ME and is like hypocritically fighting adora trying to grab the stun baton. bad idea! adora’s DRIVING you don’t attack the driver!! but catra does not often make good decisions </3 the skiff crashes and they both fall off. they get up, look at each other angrily and run after the stun baton. catra grabs it first but adora hits it out of her hand and grapples catra who continues to keep reaching for the weapon. “catra, you can’t. we need to get as far from the fright zone as possible or we’ll be completely erased along with everything else.” “you think you can convince me by kidnapping me?” well no but goddamn the world is COLLAPSING catra PLEASE :( also is the power of love not enough? catra she loves you she’s in love with you she would pull you from the depths of hell even if you threw everyone in there in the first place!!!!!! that’s how deep this runs because that’s not even a metaphor adora has identified you as the main party who brought upon this reality ripping portal and still!!! she wants you saved. is that not fucking hot? :/ is that not sexy enough for you? :/ KFKSKDKSKDK jkjk okay catra continues with “what is wrong with you?!” and throws adora over her shoulder. not to like. ruin a very heated and serious moment in the show. but catra throwing adora like it’s nothing is like... very strong..... and when you remember how adora likes strong girls........ KFKDKDKDKDKDKDJ adora b like ow that hurts 😔 u free next friday? 😳 catra goes up to the stun baton again and adora kicks it away. “i won’t leave you behind again.” “why can’t you just stay? we have everything we ever wanted.” BITCH THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF. THERE’S A PORTAL EATING UP REALITY. STAY WHERE? “it’s not real, catra.” YES. save the world first, and then after this you can play rock paper scissors and the loser will go with the winner❤️ wouldn’t it be so funny if they did that. if they decided to leave it up to chance. if adora was like well the horde is evil but if you beat me in rock paper scissors i guess i will follow you wherever you go. and then they like fix the portal and everyone is like yay hey adora lets go back to bright moon! and she’s like yeah uh i gotta hash out this situation with my gf real quick uh just a little heads up i might be bringing the horde’s best strategist and leader over to our side OR i might be fighting for the bad people again :/ so wish me luck and everyone just had to stand there and watch as adora and catra held their hands out and went ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT anyway. “as much as i wish that things could be simple the way they used to be, there’s no going back.” and she holds catra gently and in many ways i think she’s sort of acknowledging that she really, really just wants that light hearted playful dynamic with catra back. they both just experienced it again. they both just threw themselves back into it again. and adora really wants to be happy with catra, she would stay with catra if she could, but she has overwhelming responsibilities and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that was instilled in her from a young age. and she thinks she shouldn’t get to choose her happiness, to put herself first. also like. THE HORDE IS EVIL DJSJDJSNDNSJS like. that’s a really important part too. it’s kind of hard for catra to distinguish that though because she’s had very. evil things done to her all her life. and she held on for so long because she thought adora would always be there with her but then adora walks away and makes it seem like. it could have been that easy. but it can’t have been that easy because if it was so easy why did catra have to suffer so much for? also adora didn’t run away to save catra. she had this destiny thrust upon her, and she chose to leave the horde before inviting catra along, which is not wrong of her at all, but it inevitably made catra feel like an afterthought. and now... things are kind of damaged. and catra just wants to run if adora won’t stay, so she shoves adora and takes off and adora lunges after her, tackling her, and adora decides to confront catra about the big elephant in the room, the thing she’s not said a thing about to catra until now when they’re fighting because she was so desperate to save catra before. “why did you do it?” “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” which is a lie but now that she really gets to see the consequences of her rage and anguish filled actions, i don’t think catra can properly explain it either. she was just so angry and she had built this narrative in her head that it was adora’s fault, and so she just wanted to do everything that adora didn’t want her to do. except u failed catra😔 adora wants you to love her and you do, you do love her😔 oopsie😔 you just don’t show it in healthy ways most of the time because your relationship is fraught with tragedy and abusive upbringings💔 adora gives up questioning catra for the moment because “there’s no time. we have to go.” catra grunts as adora’s childhood promise plays in her mind and it is overlaid with the adora of the present telling her “i promise, everything will be okay if we just stay together.” and goddamn adora really means it. she’s literally willing to patch everything up together even after everything if catra will just Decide right here, right now, to go with her. right then, the memory of adora first asking catra to come with her plays and adora is asking her, “help me fix this, please, this can’t be what you wanted” because adora knows! she knows how caught up catra was, in her pain and anger and desperation to win, to overcome all the times she lost growing up. she believed that catra, with her loving heart that saved adora everyday they knew each other growing up, could not have wanted to erase all of reality. to erase what they had. but just because adora knows that doesn’t mean catra does. all the rage and pain and resentment that led to her opening the portal, it is still there, and it is still affecting her judgement in a bad way, and by reminding her that she cannot just repress it all, that she cannot just play pretend with adora until their time is up,,,, this leads her to lash out again :( :( :( “don’t you get it? i am never going to go with you.” i wanna be like sad but also this bitch straight up LYING remember that other time she said “don’t you get it?” remember what came after that? so maybe catra in this moment is too angry and consumed by self hatred, too proud to admit she wants adora when she thinks adora doesn’t want her the way she wants her.... but “never”? lmaooooo ok :/ catra evil gay laughs and goes “you always have to go and ruin it, don’t you?” ruin what???? the illusion????? the pretenses you work so hard to keep to cover up how deep the feelings you both have run??? catra lunges for adora and fights with her, scratching and missing because adora is dodging and catra’s heart is too.... sigh..... she’s too fucking gay to really bring it ok? no matter how angry she is she still loves adora too much to give it her best. adora doesn’t fight back, mostly defending and pushing catra away. “catra, look what’s happening. you’re going to destroy everything!” catra stomped on her heart and she still wants to Convince her, which is really sad, for now, for both of them. and catra goes feral and is like “i don’t care! i won’t let you win. i’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.” :( bro? this song is so sad. can we change it? sigh. catra is too far gone at the moment. everything, even the slightest concession to adora, even at the expense of existence, is like admitting defeat to catra. and when catra says she’d rather see the whole world end than let adora win, she’s also saying she’d let herself... die. and that is just so sad. bro who gave season three the right. like... i am so exhausted. i am just trying to call some bitches out for being gay, i did not sign up for all this pain. i am so exhausted. this episode is twenty odd minutes or so. you know how many hours i’ve spent writing this? it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for being extra, but man i am so tired. i love seeing catradora interact, but god, at what cost? the portal rips up the ground between them, and catra grabs at adora, clutching onto her badge. i cannot tell if she was just trying to take it off or she wanted to grab adora and pull her close too. “catra, no!” adora grabs catra’s wrist but the badge falls off and catra falls too. “catra!” catra is on some rock in the falling heap, and adora reaches for her but she’s too far away. still, she keeps her hand outstretched. but catra, who’s hanging on by a rock at this point, gives her this look of... almost helplessness. that then hardens into resentment and anger and she just. lets go. and adora, who has tears in her eyes, is just. she absolutely crumbles here. and she runs a good distance away and falls to her knees and just starts SOBBING. she is just crying so hard over losing catra AGAIN and it’s just. That’s Too Much, Man! thankfully, razz shows up and is like stop crying bitch u can still save her ❤️ so adora decides to stop crying for all time and gets to work❤️ 10/10 but also did i ask? :/ yes i did and i am in so much pain right now. my god what an episode

the portal: it’s so fucking refreshing not seeing catradora for a bit <3 i spent hours watching remember ok. here i am now starting the last ep at least a full week later because of how much it was. sometimes this show is too gay <3 i love it tho! i do <3 it’s just hard having to pause and replay every five seconds and write an essay about the tiniest thing <3 and i know what you’re thinking <3 no one asked me to do this <3 no one asked me to be so extra <3 and yet <3 anyway, more than half of the ep passes with adora losing bow and glimmer in the end, but as she’s crying on her knees again she lifts her head up and corrupted!catra touches her forehead with one finger. oh <3 that’s gay <3 anyway, catra’s here because she died but she’s got like nine lives so she’s back now and infected by the collapsing portal. oh great! we get what is probably the most cursed ḩ̵͕̺̯͚̞͈̰̤͎̥̗̳͂̽̃̄͌̎̅̈́̏̎͘͝͝ẻ̷͇͚͈̤̪̖̜̥̥̱̼̅̒͌͗͝y̴̥̺̓͌͊͌̊͒͌̏̔̕͝ ̶̧̟̤̠̯̱̳͕̙̯̔ͅá̶̤͉͕̱̰̮̺̮̝̗̱̲͓̺̯̒͐͐d̵̨̟̖̦̈̑̄̌̍̆̀̾̊̑̽͗͝͠ȏ̷̧̢̨̞̮͇̟̘̘̠̼̊͆̐̉̉̀̌̿̚ͅŗ̴̢̬͚͉̦̘̪̜̥̑̔̈́̀̒͂͗͜͠ͅą̸̡̡͕͈͚͕̼͔̳͔̖̙̯̱̓͗̊́. the look on adora’s face when she’s greeted with this is very interesting. she gives catra this little once over. on one hand, catra isn’t gone like adora thought when she had lost her into the collapsing portal, but also something about this catra definitely doesn’t look right. catra then proceeds to slam adora into another dimension. flat against the bar table in the crimson waste... and ngl it looks like. catra slammed her on the table for :/ stuff :/ that’s like :/ you know :/ banging :/ and adora even looks around for a moment because catra isn’t there and adora’s thinking damn where u at catra? :/ so you didn’t slam me against this table for... no? :( we aren’t gonna slam ass? :( but then surprise surprise! catra straddles her at the last moment! adora gasps and catra is like oh... where are your friends? in that unsettling corrupted tone. notice how adora has been silent this entire time. so horny you couldn’t speak bitch? :/ sadly, catra lunges for adora and adora realizes that catra is still evil and that she isn’t going to kiss her gently on the lips after all 😔 adora grabs catra by the arm and pulls her close. she puts her other hand on catra’s shoulder. adora baby.... you don’t need to touch her with both hands. are you that gay? yes. why am i even asking that question. “catra, stop. you have to–“ catra pushes her face aside. “it’s always the same with you, adora. i have to do this, oh we have to do that!” and then they’re like gay struggling against each other? and catra pulls adora up and holds her tight against her, adora’s arm bent over catra’s shoulder to keep her there. then with her other arm she wraps her elbow around adora’s other arm to further restrain her? and then she puts her face right against adora’s cheek. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s just. homoerotic. damn the gays fight like this? catra then tosses adora aside and they land somewhere else. catra says like things to adora that are about her insecurities and stuff. but i’m not gonna get into those <3 isn’t that so sexy of me? instead i will say this. catra kind of like fights one sidedly with adora a lot in this segment where they go through various locations we’ve seen in the show, and she like talks a lot of shit. but let’s focus on how adora’s feeling <3 she goes through it like this. 1) not horny anymore! i’m scared/insecure/angry with catra now 2) catra throws adora into the big chair on mara’s ship and catra slams her hand against it next to adora’s face like how someone might do before you kiss them in movies 3) horny again 4) catra doesn’t say sorry for the mean things corrupted her said and she didn’t kiss her gently on the lips so adora gets her shit together and realizes all the things evil corrupted catra is saying is not her fault! she pushes catra away and is like “i didn’t make you pull the switch. i didn’t make you do anything! i didn’t break the world, but i am gonna fix it. and you? you made your choice. now live with it!” and in between all that she fights back against catra and at the end she does you know that punch we all know about. but after the punch she calms down from that emotional breakthrough high and gets this :( face. at the end of the day... no matter how far gone catra went, no matter how right she was in setting those boundaries and making it clear catra has to be responsible for her actions, adora cares. adora loves her, it’s the one thing she can’t help. and to see catra sink so deep into the darkness... it hurts her. adora watches catra disintegrate when they fall into the wormhole thing that the portal caused, and she has this like. >:( :( look because adora’s planning to fix everything anyway, the upsetting thing here for her is that she failed to make catra see sense. catra’s likely going back to the horde when all of this is over and there’s nothing adora can do about it. and at the moment i don’t think adora wants to try anymore after failing so many times... which is good for her! but also they are both going to be so sad after this </3 after the whole angella scene (miss that milf) adora gets the sword back and becomes she ra again. we go back to the scene in the horde and catra clutches the side of her face, so we know that was her but it also wasn’t Her, you know? like part of her face got corrupted by the portal and she just had to make sure she was real and whole again. adora comes back as she-ra and destroys the portal, prompting catra to escape. but she looks back at the last moment, looks back angrily, and adora gives her an equally hard stare. she’s done with catra, for the moment, and catra realizes this, and it kind of hits her that this adora is different now. and for a moment she is sad and afraid, but she pulls it together to make a mean face again, before running away. 9/10

[floxalopex]

I don't know if somebody already did this specifically. But yh the heck let's go.

WARNING 1: THIS IS NOT A POST FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE AND/OR MINORS. (it contains gore and sexual themes and more).

And yes, SALT. Lots of salt.

WARNING 2: this has nothing to do with Christianity specifically. Atheism isn't hate towards your god(s) and/or its believers. Although there are many forms of atheism (some of which are so strong and violent they make me furious) think about mine as a general form of indifference. I hate the Church state, yes, but sorry I have that "at home" so please don't blame me. I don't like Abrahamic religions in general, but I've grown up with one.

I'm thankfully not a cult survivor, but I can understand some things.

WARNING 3: living in a very religious contest I have many beloved friends and relatives (starting with my mother) who believe in their god a lot. So if my words are too disrespectful tell me, I really don't want to hurt anybody.

Okay.

So.

I've seen many similarities between the cult Horde Prime put his clones in and your very average, very white, very western idea of Christianity.

1) Theophagy:

First of all, I really don't know much how this thing is lived in other Christian countries, but in mine they put a lot of emphasis on the Eucharist.

As far as I've seen I think it's pretty obvious how much in ancient cultures there's a very carnal and very grounded idea of the spirit. That can result in believing the soul to be the "psyche", so literally "the breath of life", the coordination of your sinapsis togheter (to me a very poetic definition of how our whole being ourselves is just us being our central nervous system) or it can lead to you eating the ashes of your granpa so you get his good qualities (something some cultures still do today). They said that the head of Orpheus was buried in the island of Lesbo and that's why its land was filled with amazing poets like Sappho. There's this very, sorry, brutal idea of the embodyment of the soul, the talents of a person, that even a piece of corpse is considered a magic thingy.

This is no different in the very old, very ancient, very rural Christian religion (at least in the most common version of it, we have many flavours of one truth apperentely).

When I was in High School we studied a lot Bacchus and the Baccanalia, because there are several commedies about it. My teacher, being very religious, was almost ashamed to admit that a lot of acts of those festivities (let's say that the most normal thing was for women to give their milk to animal cubs) were actually not very dissimilar in their rawness to certain habits of the religion.

So, what about Horde Prime? (me *yh, what about it, stupid ADHD?*). I have seen a post in the past explaining that yes, even though spacebats have the dentition of a frugivore bat and not haematophagus bat, the scene of Prime recharging in his throne with all those disgusting cables filled with green liquid referred as "the life force" of his clones...well, it's surely something.

Looks like a sort of sci-fi vampire thing. Which is very cool and I love this headcanon. So again I kept thinking...what is THAT amniotic fluid? I am a student, so correct me if I say something wrong.

Amniotic fluid is a combination of water 99%, proteins, glucids, fats and some salts (...it's even effective for electric conduction...the heck is that pool).

The most similar body fluid is plasma, so blood less cells. Even the serum, so plasma less proteins, is very similar.

Now, stated that Prime is a manipulative jerk, stated that I don't know much about aliens' physiology, stated that that fluid can come from blood potentially, in Church they say this:

*and Jesus said: "This is my body/blood which I offer in sacrifice for you"*

Apart from it being very creepy, there's this idea in the whole religion-thingy: if you are human you are a selfish monster, so monstrous you made our Lord and Savior die for your sins for how messed up you were.

So basically you don't become a sinner, you are concived as one. Humanity is sin itself, it can never lead to something good.

So are the clones. That's why Prime, in his benevolence, feeds them with himself. To make them pure, to protect them from the outside world. To make them remember who their strenght comes from.

If you don't want to read all of this just go for the Futurama soda episode, it's basically the same thing. Bleah.

2) Corpse feticism and more.

Again, don't know you guys, but here we are filled with mummies. I went in a place in Palermo and ...my gosh why did I do that.

We have everything here, hands, heads, feet, teeth so many of them, dead babies, dead virgins, dead popes, dead elders, all of them for half the prize, but only if you call today.

We are. Filled. With these atrocities. At least we don't touch them anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if, apart from the "hygene", people in Middle Ages used to die at the honorable age of 13 also because they kissed those... thingies there.

So, can we please talk about Horde Prime collection of "previous selves"?

This man has a whole room filled with corpses of himself. In the Vatican you can find corpses of dead popes as well, preserved and even dressed in a very good way. In Italy in general we have these, I remember a whole room in a town near my city filled with skeletons of "saints". Personally I find it very disturbing because you are basically not allowing that body to rest and serve its last biological purpose, especially if you consider that most of these "saints" were mentally impared young kids who were killed brutally and died as "martyrs". In ancient Greece the WORST thing you could do to a corpse was to leave it unburied, without dignity.

It's getting darker now.

I like both headcanons for Prime, that of a spoiled (maybe even sexist) royal of a lost culture who wanted to conquer the universe and that of him being a sort of ancient evil spirit, but I personally like to stick with the latter.

Imagine the old bodies of the clones Prime used for himself. Pushed to their limits. Clones dying young is horrific as well, but like these people were forced to go on. Not to die. Not to age as much as possible. And now that they are dead they can't even rest. They are a show off for anyone to see. Their brains preserved and their literal dead flesh still tormented for reading.

One may ask me, then what about corpses in formalin for medical use? Well, one thing is a donor or a dead fetus or a corpse nobody claims. That's the story of the skeleton in my university, a young male who didn't eat much. A very lonely man. Well at least now he is well loved and appreciated, ah if only he knew that.

The point is, we respect them. We are grateful for the informations they give us. Gosh, I know I'm creepy, but I even cuddled one bone once. We know they probably suffered. Like, search for HeLa cells. That lady has my highest respect.

But Prime? Those are. Vessels. Just that.

Anyways, apart for the "respect the deads thing" I found Hordak's behaviour in that room that of high distress. Like, ehm, any normal person? Search for "Convento Dei Cappuccini", that place I was talking about in Palermo. The fact that I heard kids cry and "MEMENTO MORI" everywhere.

Everyone and everything is afraid of death, I just accepted that fear because it's normal. That doesn't mean I want to be reminded of it every week, especially if I'm a 7 yo kid.

Honorable mentions: that horrible art collection.

3) Double standards

When I went to catechism my teacher used a very feather hand on males and an iron fist on us ladies. We weren't allowed to wear trousers, to play football, to raise our voice. We were forced to be very clean, to sit with our legs as closed as possible. I heard it was worse before, at least we could play volleyball and weren't forced to knit.

We were however "encouraged" to sing and bake stupid cakes for Sundays. Mind you, I'm very feminine, but one thing is liking ribbons one thing is being a slave.

The boys...well, they could literally do anything. They broke things, used petards, beat each other. They were NEVER reproached, the teachers would say "oh, they are just boys". Like once I was so engrossed. I remember I had to sit behind a guy with his butt almost uncovered (because the lower you put the helm of your trousers the cooler you were) while I had to stay still with my head high, chest out, belly in and legs closed for 2h. The problem was: I almost pitied him. I was like "poor thing he doesn't know how to behave properly". That's so crazy, I was piting a free soul while I had my hands handcuffed because I truly believed the bullshit they put into my mind.

Now, imagine how did Horde Prime's clones feel about Catra and Glimmer.

They can dress as they please. Eat non amniotic fluid. Catra can even go wherever she wants.

To me, they didn't feel envious. As they should! That's how far an indoctrination can go.

Take Yudi interaction with Catra, he believes everything he is saying.

But I think deep down he knows, they all know, the truth, juding by his bitter reaction after being possesed. He knows he is the slave here, not the free man. But he wants to believe the other way round.

I think that yes, of course Prime kept Glimmer and Catra (and Hordak) because he needed them to conquer Etheria. But that is also a good way to show to the poor clones of how lost people far away from Prime's light can be. Slaves of their bodly needs and slaves of their individuality.

4) Sexual abuse

Do I need to explain this? Plus all those sick touches Prime gives not only to Hordak, but to Glimmer, Catra and Adora as well?

I don't know much about other countries, again, but here the Church is a real cancer. If a priest gets accoused of raping children he just gets put into another Church far away, and generally he keeps being a pedo even there and the game goes on.

I wouldn't exately say that Prime is a pedophile but clones are pretty innocent and neotenic to me so...idk.

Of course, Prime is his own state and his own rules, so yh. Raping all day. That's why I don't like to ship him with anything rather than a 100 m fall. Not even with his clones, sorry I know its kinky maybe but he is a monster.

Also, the way the clones feel like...honored to be raped. That's so sad. Maybe he convinced them this is the only right way they could experience sex and intimacy. I really don't know.

One thing I'm sure of is that Christian religion likes to often put shame on some "impure" acts. That's the name. The most impure of all is masturbation. If you are a male ...mmm well it's okay dear, it's not your fault you are male and so a sex starved animal. But if you are a girl? Ihhh oh dare you bitch.

Mind you, I fall in the ace spectrum but I did too have puberty and needs, and these thoughts in my head made me only conflicted.

Last thing. More of an asking. And more irriverent, so please stay away if you don't want to read.

So basically I understood I was atheist at 5 yo, just because I read two different versions of the birth of the Universe, one in my science book and one in my Bible (MY Bible, I still have it, was a gift of my aunt) and preferred the science version. I still felt conflicted, like once during a religion lesson at School (well...I don't blame Mussolini much in this case, I mean the Vatican wasn't still recognizing country indipendence and we needed a compromise) the teacher told me to stop drawing dinosaurs with Adam and Eve because they never existed. I mean...yes that's anachronistic but still I felt very sad, dinosaurs were cooler than that story. I remember I even made an experiment "if I say I don't believe in god will I get thunderstruck?". It didn't happen so I was like "oh cool, science wins". But then CATECHISM ecc ecc. The fun fact is that they think atheists are those who don't study religion, while I was the most zelous of the class.

So.

I just wonder...my baby boy Hordak is a man of science, what were his thoughts after his separation from Prime. I mean of course he still believed, but also not as much after some time. Entrapta is a support system for him of course, but he accepts her affection quite easily on canon. Which is amazing, still... maybe he was already doubting his devotion?

[horde-princess]

Death With Dignity

Word Count: 3k

Summary: Catra reflects on her redemption and the sacrifices of angella and shadow weaver (and kisses her girlfriend 😌😌). Inspired in a major way by @catradora‘s beautiful illustration of catra gazing up at a mural of angella 💘

--

1. monarch

Bells echoed quietly through the halls of the Bright Moon palace. It was four in the morning and Adora’s arm was draped protectively over Catra, her chest rising and falling against her back, heartbeat slow. If they were back in the Horde, the rhythm of it would’ve been fluttery and anxious. But in recent weeks an era of peace had settled over Etheria, and maybe especially over its destined hero. Her calling fulfilled, her new life beginning… Sometimes Catra let herself dream of it, too. Finding peace.

read on ao3

She quietly slipped out of Adora’s arms, careful not to wake her. She’d had a lot of practice the past couple of weeks, which should probably worry her, but if there was something bothering Catra she couldn’t bring herself to admit it... too afraid of watching Adora’s love shatter in her hands like a fragile glass illusion that was never really hers.

Adora stirred in her sleep and her fist hit Catra’s pillow before she relaxed again. Catra flinched. It was hard to look away from her, a living mosaic of everything she found terrifying and breathtaking. The way the moonlight kissed her skin, the curve of her shoulder. When tears blurred her vision enough that she could barely make out the form of her anymore, Catra turned to leave. 

Walking the halls at night, she found an intimacy with Bright Moon that evaded her during the day. The bright colors were dimmed in shadow, there were no curious faces--or suspicious ones. Just the same few guards who had gotten used to her nighttime wanderings. While the palace was full of beautiful paintings and murals like nothing Catra had ever seen, there was one in particular that she kept coming back to every night. She stood before it and gazed up in child-like wonder.

Queen Angella… The former ruler of Bright Moon--or, as Catra knew her, the Horde’s number one enemy--loomed above, a masterful work of art set with colorful stones, gems, painted glass. Occasionally, light from the torches would refract through it a certain way and almost make her seem to come alive. Wings glittered as though moving in a breeze, giving her a divine essence. The larger than life depiction did little to discourage the way Catra had mythologized her in her mind. 

A mother, a warrior, an immortal queen… and the reason Catra found herself gazing into soft blue eyes every morning. 

“Beautiful, isn’t she?”

A voice from down the hall tore Catra from her thoughts and set her heart racing. She automatically assumed a soldier’s stance, the way she was taught to show respect in the Horde.

“King Micah?--” Her breath caught in her throat. 

It had been two weeks since Micah had learned the truth about Angella’s sacrifice. She hadn’t dared ask for forgiveness. Not even as the days passed and Catra wasn’t able to eat, or sleep, or be of much use to anyone, really. Glimmer kept saying he just needed time. 

Micah approached slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on the mural. He was dressed all in white, the traditional Etherian color for mourning, which drew attention to his sunken cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes. He came to stand beside Catra, who watched him warily before also returning her gaze to Angella. She could hear her own pulse in her ears.

“Just Micah, now,” he corrected after a moment. “My days of ruling have long ended.”

His voice was gravelly, tired. Catra guessed he wasn’t sleeping much either.

“Y-yes, sir.”

They settled into an uncomfortable silence as the queen looked down upon them, in all her dignity.

“I’ll admit…” Micah cleared his throat. “When Glimmer told me what happened, I… Well, I’m sorry. For the way that I reacted.”

A wave of nausea swept over Catra. She clenched her fists, feeling mortified.

“No. I deserved it.”

She could feel Micah’s eyes on her but kept looking straight ahead.

“Did you ever meet her?” he asked.

Catra tried to think, sorting through a dusty bookshelf of painful memories.

“I… I saw her once,” she whispered. “During the Battle of Bright Moon, she was… defending the Moonstone. But not really, no.”

Micah nodded thoughtfully, then smiled. 

“And she always said I was the brave one.”

Mesmerized by the artwork, memories continued to pull at Catra… Glimmer breaking down in tears, Adora and Bow’s restrained anger when they asked Catra to leave. The three of them sharing stories about what a loving mother Angella was, what a strong leader. Adora hugging herself as she relayed the details of what exactly happened in the portal that day. How Angella sacrificed herself to save everyone.

How she sacrificed herself to save Adora.

To save her from... Catra. 

From her own monstrous, vile, misplaced wrath.

Catra realized tears were streaming down her face. 

Too overwhelmed with shame to stand any longer under the queen’s scrutiny, she fell to her knees, as if in supplication. She barely registered Micah’s concerned hand on her shoulder. 

“I--I owe her everything,” Catra wept. “I can’t make up for it, I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…”

Before she knew what was happening Micah had knelt down and wrapped his arms around her and she was falling apart, shaking like a child. She didn’t know how long she cried but at the end of it his white gown was washed completely by her tears.

“You’re forgiven, Catra,” he murmured into her hair, and she could only shake her head, trying to hold back another sob. 

“Why do you even care about me?”

Micah sighed. “The same reason my daughter does: you’re trying to make things right.”

He leaned back to gently rest his hand on Catra’s cheek, encouraging her to meet his eyes. The kindness in them was terrible, burning.

“And wherever she is, I know that Angella forgives you, too.”

Somehow, Catra actually believed him. Not because she could ever be worthy of it, but... because it's who Angella was. 

Micah offered her his hand. She hesitated, then accepted it. He pulled her to her feet and they continued to study the artwork together, side by side. Catra felt like she could stare at it for hours. Truthfully, she had.

“I wish I could’ve known her,” she confessed. “Everyone tells me how kind she was. And giving. Nothing like--”

Catra wasn’t sure where she was going with that train of thought. 

“Like Shadow Weaver?” Micah guessed.

The name was like rusty nails scraping out Catra’s insides. She didn’t say anything more. But Micah placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder and she felt some kind of unspoken understanding pass between them.

“Let’s take the day off tomorrow,” he said suddenly, a mischievous lilt to his voice.

Catra squinted at him, though it was a relief to see his cheerful demeanor returning.

 “What? We have the reparations meeting--”

“I need a break from this political stuff,” Micah complained. "Whaddya say, be my partner in crime? Besides, you’re the only one who can translate for Melog--I’ve been dying to ask how they manipulate light waves with magic to--”

“Okay, okay! Fine,” Catra chuckled. “I guess… It could be nice to take a break from everyone.”

“That’s the spirit!” He mussed up her hair a little. “I’ll make a rebel out of you yet.” 

Oh, man. Between Micah, George, Lance… Dads really were all the same. 

“Now why don’t you get some rest, kiddo.”

He said it so gently, and Catra couldn't believe it. How far down into her darkness the light of one person’s forgiveness could reach. 

“King--I mean, Micah… Thank you. For everything.”

Micah smiled fondly.

“You’re welcome.”

She glanced up at Angella one last time and could’ve sworn she saw a smile reflected in the stones.

Catra started to head back to her room, but something stopped her just after she turned the corner. She peeked around it and watched Micah step up to the mural of his wife. 

He touched his forehead to the wall and let out a long, heavy sigh.

“I miss you, my love.”

--

When Catra returned to Adora’s arms, exhaustion nearly overtook her for the first time in weeks, but she fought it and stayed awake all night just to listen to the sound of her breathing.

2. mother

It was strange, being back in Mystacor. The place held nothing but terrifying memories. 

Catra, she… distracts you. Confuses you. Haven’t you hurt each other enough?

Shadow Weaver is sacrificing you! Why can’t you see that?!

It doesn’t always have to be you!

Catra stood from the table abruptly. The other dinner guests stared at her with alarm and Adora met her eyes from across the hall.

“Are you okay?” she mouthed. 

Catra plastered on a smile to address the room.

“Sorry!--I just... remembered something, you’ll have to excuse me.”

She rushed out of the banquet hall and leaned against the wall outside, heart pounding. She forced herself to take a deep breath in. Then out. In, out. Huh. Maybe Perfuma wasn’t as crazy as she thought. They’d been away from home for a couple weeks, traveling and attending parties and helping rebuild kingdoms. It wasn’t that Catra wasn’t enjoying herself, it’s just that she hadn’t had much time to process… well, everything.

She peered down the long corridor, thinking a walk might help clear her head--and that’s when she saw it.

The statue.

The likeness was so uncanny it sent her into fight or flight mode. But Catra had decided a while ago that she was done running.

Her footsteps echoed in the cavernous silence until she stood directly in front of it. The marble glistened in the warm moonlight streaming in through the windows, and it stood tall among its peers in the Hall of Sorcerers--prideful, stoic, severe, and far too much like the woman Catra had once known. A shiver ran down her spine and she struggled for breath as though the air near the statue was thin, all the oxygen around it sucked out. Lifeless eyes stared forward, her gaze passing indifferently over Catra’s head.

I’m so proud of you, Catra.

Her hands were shaking and she clenched them into fists. Blood trickled from her palms to the floor. She shut her eyes but couldn’t suppress it, the rage, the disgust, it burst out of her from some dark and emaciated fragment of her heart--

“I hate you! I will never forgive you!”

The threat fell on ears of stone. Her body slackened. Lips quivering, tasting metal, her voice shook with anger.

“I don’t care if you helped save her... I will never forgive you.”

It was the one thing Catra held over her, the one birthright she’d ever possessed--to deny her absolution. Even in death. 

Especially in death.

At least you admit she’s evil.

You’re one to talk, aren’t you?

Catra gripped her head in her hands, trying to force the memory out, trying not to scream. But wasn’t there truth in it? Wasn’t she a hypocrite? How could she accept others’ forgiveness yet withhold her own? 

You expect me to believe you had a change of heart in the end?! Catra wanted to scream at her. That you actually cared if we survived? If I survived?

She glared up at the statue’s face, the veil concealing her mouth.

ANSWER ME!

“Catra?” 

All the fire drained out of her when she heard Adora call her name. 

Hurried footsteps, then hands grabbing at her shoulders, her wrists.

“Catra!--What--You’re bleeding--”

Catra collapsed against her, sinking into the warmth of Adora’s embrace. Her chest burned but she had no tears left. Not for her. She could only gasp breathlessly against Adora’s shoulder.

“Shh, I’m here, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“It’s not fair,” was all she could get out. “It’s not fair!”

--

“You know, it used to be all dirty. Scratched up.”

Catra hummed, more focused on Adora playing with her fingers than on her words. They sat against the wall opposite the statue. Her skin was stained red from the blood on Catra’s hands. 

“I guess Castaspella had it refurbished, after... well.”

“She should’ve thrown it out the window,” Catra said through gritted teeth. “Less effort.”

She could hear the disagreement in Adora’s responding sigh but she didn’t say anything.

“What? You think she deserves to be honored?” she snapped.

“No! Of course not. But... if it wasn’t for her…”

Catra pulled her hand away and rose to her feet. Adora followed after her.

“One good thing doesn’t make up for her ruining our lives!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Adora exclaimed. “I watched her hurt you over and over and couldn’t do anything about it!”

Catra started, her anger dissipating as quickly as it had come. She felt like she was a kid again, back in the Fright Zone, terrified and insecure and every stupid thing that ever happened to her was Adora’s fault, except it wasn’t. Not at all. 

She knew Shadow Weaver had hurt Adora, too. They’d talked about it a lot. Why she was always chasing some destiny and throwing herself into danger with no hesitation. But Catra hadn’t told her everything from her perspective, not yet.

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Catra mumbled, feeling contrite for some reason.

Adora’s eyes filled with torment and a darkness Catra hadn’t known she was capable of.

She reached out for her hesitantly and when Adora didn’t back away Catra drew her close and cradled her face with both hands.

“Hey. I love you,” she said softly.

Adora hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut but the tears leaked out anyway.

Running her thumbs along her cheeks to dry them, Catra brushed her mouth tenderly over Adora’s forehead. Steady arms slipped around her waist and held onto her tightly and Adora tilted her face back up, hopeless, longing. Catra felt something almost holy running in her veins as their lips met and Adora’s kiss was warm, slow--too slow, making Catra’s temperature rise, and she didn’t know how long she could hide the truth of how desperate she was for her. But then a gentle glow behind her eyelids turned blinding and suddenly an explosive crack echoed down the hall. 

Catra jumped and opened her eyes to see both of them enveloped in magic.

“...Whoa,” she breathed, slightly lightheaded.

Adora was staring up at the statue in shock and she followed her gaze. As the dust settled, Catra saw the veil hiding its face had been violently ripped off, leaving nothing behind except vacant eyes and splintering cracks in the stone that ran from her hairline to her jaw. 

They stood together in silence, Catra hanging with a hand on Adora’s shoulder.

Light Spinner, whoever she was, had been mangled, torn away… This was the woman who had raised them. The weaver of their shadows. 

Catra coughed a little from the dust and laced her fingers with Adora’s again.

“Not sure Castaspella will like your remodel,” she tried to joke.

“Who cares,” Adora muttered. “Shadow Weaver chose her path. She wanted to be a hero... but she won’t be remembered as one.”

The set of her jaw was rigid, resolute.

“You can’t forgive her either, can you?”

“No. I--I don’t know. One day, maybe.”

One day seemed like a lofty goal to Catra. The unspeakable suffering she’d inflicted on her, on both of them... yet she always had some twisted justification. As if she believed her intentions were good.

I just wanted to prepare you for the world. I wanted you to be strong.

Tears filled Catra’s eyes as she observed the damaged sculpture, but they didn’t fall. 

“Before she died… She said she was proud of me.”

She sensed Adora looking at her, analyzing. Like she was trying to decide how to respond. Catra could guess what was going through her head. I'm proud of you. You should be proud of yourself.

“For what?” she settled on instead.

“Who knows.” Catra thought for a moment. “For not ending up like her, probably.”

Adora brushed her hair back from her forehead. Her hand trailed down her neck and came to rest over her heart.

“You were never like her.”

“Come on, Adora,” Catra nearly begged. “The things I’ve done, I was so angry...”

“Because you were hurting--because you cared, so much, and people just threw it away, I--” she stopped, misery etched on her face. Catra looked down, wincing. “But Shadow Weaver? She was just selfish. How could there have been room in her heart for anyone when she took up so much space herself.”

Catra let out a shaky breath. This day, this whole trip had been so draining. She leaned into Adora for support who wrapped an arm around her.

“If she hadn’t teleported me to the Heart...” her voice fell to a whisper. “I would’ve lost you forever.”

“I know... When I heard you scream, fighting that monster…”

Catra shivered from the memory. 

The sculpture towered over them, unhearing, uncaring. 

“Adora?”

“Hm?”

“Do you... Do you think the only reason she went back to save me was to make sure you set the magic free?”

Adora frowned like she had already thought about it.

“I think… I want to believe… there was some part of her that wanted us both to be happy.”

The image flickered in her mind of Shadow Weaver removing her mask, allowing them a glimpse of her face for the first time since they were kids. Her scars, her sins laid bare for them to see.

It’s too late for me. But you… this is only the beginning for you.

Catra gazed upon the marred face of her abuser, her mentor--her mother, for all  intents and purposes, though she couldn’t bring herself to actually associate her with the word--and something restful settled in her heart. Not peace, not exactly. Just a sense of calm.

Because her and Adora, they were finally free.

She held Adora closer and nuzzled her ear.

“Well, whatever she wanted from us… it doesn’t matter. We get to write our own happy ending now.”

A smile blossomed across Adora’s face. 

“You think you’re my happy ending, huh?”

“Whatever,” Catra scoffed. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t come back from the dead just to kiss me.”

She grinned and started to lean in, but Adora pushed her off with a groan.

“Are you ever gonna let it go? That was one time!”

“And for some reason, it’s always funny--”

Adora cut her off with a kiss and yeah, Catra had the feeling that everything was going to be okay. She laughed breathlessly and leaned her forehead against Adora’s.

“Can we go home now?” she pleaded.

“Ugh, I thought you’d never ask.”

[johannas-motivational-insults]

The ask game: 'Demons' : )

Well initially I wrote it just to get the first chapter out of my head tbh. But once I started to conceptualize it as a multi-chapter fic it was definitely that first big Catradora fight/talk that I was building up to. There’s so many layers and so much baggage addressed and it really is like the first big turning point of the fic where they start to understand each other a little bit better. Honestly I’m still annoyed we never got to see them really talk much of this stuff out in canon, but *sigh* I guess that’s what fanfic’s for.

Anyway, I’ll put one of my fave exchanges from that conversation under the cut. This really is the core of why Catra is so angry and hurt in season 1, and it’s old news now, but back when I published it a couple years ago this was still something a lot of the fandom didn’t seem to understand...

New Ask game. Send me one of my fic titles and I’ll tell which was THAT SCENE for that fic. (Writing a fic consists of having one scene you want to write and scrambling to come up with an entire plot just so you can write that one scene.)

A mild headrush makes Adora’s mouth fall open once again. “Entrapta’s alive?”

Catra blinks, genuinely confused. “You thought she was dead?”

“Yeah, obviously,” says Adora. “I’d never leave her behind.”

The breath leaves Catra’s body. Adora couldn’t have punched her in the gut harder if she was She-ra on steroids. Forcing out a cruel laugh, Catra snipes, “Lucky her.”

“That’s not fair,” huffs Adora, crossing her arms as best she can with a giant sword in one hand. “I asked you to come with me.”

“After you’d already decided to leave.”

Head tilting, Adora purses her lips. “Oh, I’m sorry I assumed you’d want to leave if you knew the Horde was evil.”

“Right, you assumed I couldn’t have any opinions or feelings of my own,” parries Catra.

“So in your opinion it was okay that the Horde was attacking a village full of innocent people?”

Catra scoffs. “Since when do you care if the Horde hurts innocent people? You never tried to stop them before.”

“I never knew-”

“For fuck’s sakes, Adora, I’m not talking about those stupid fucking villagers!”

Catra’s outburst shocks Adora into silence, leaving her to stare dumbly into her flaming, mesmerising eyes. Her confusion must show, because Catra’s fists clench at her sides and she spells out, “How is it you only realized the people who raised us were terrible when you saw what their army did to people you didn’t even know? Did you never clue in when they were hurting me all those years?”

Face falling, Adora stammers, “That’s- that’s different…”

“Why, because I deserved it?”

“Because that’s how I grew up,” she says, sidestepping the partial truth in Catra’s accusation. Though Adora always thought Shadow Weaver was unnecessarily harsh with Catra, she justified it by telling herself that’s just what happens when you’re unruly and disrespectful to your superiors. It was easier to think of it that way than to admit how uncomfortable it made her, how unfair it felt. “It’s what I was used to. I only started to question things once I met Glimmer and Bow.”

“Of course they made you see it. You go running off with those two and suddenly a bunch of random strangers mean more to you than me.” Though her face is all hard lines of anger, Catra’s eyes scream with pain as she demands, “How do you think that made me feel?”

It’s an ingrained response, reaching for Catra when she sees her in pain. But when Adora automatically steps closer and lifts a hand, Catra takes a deliberate step back, leaving her grasping at air. A dull ache fills Adora’s chest and she drops her hand. Channelling all her sincerity, she wills Catra to hear her, really hear her when she says, “I did what I did for the greater good, not because I cared about them more than you.” The rising lump in her throat alters her voice slightly as she continues, “No one means more to me than you, Catra. No one. You’re my best friend.”

Scowling at the floor, Catra corrects her. “Was your best friend.”

Head shaking slightly, Adora murmurs, “That’s not how it feels when I look at you.”