#why would y'all think EVERYONE is using that ability for good?

[nururu]

I genuinely wonder why people equate empathy to kindness? being able to understand another person and where their emotions are coming from and why they're coming from that place, the ability to be able to share those feelings with another, does not mean that, that skill is going to immediately be used to be kind. it's extremely difficult being able to understand where ppls emotions are coming from and what they're feeling and why. y'all get empathy and sympathy mixed up so much. you can be sympathetic without being empathetic and you can be empathetic without being sympathetic. I have hyper empathy bc of autism but also pretty much completely lack sympathy, also bc of autism. then ppl will be like "empaths are always lying bc they're not sympathetic and they're mean" ppl with hyper empathy are not inherently saints that CARE just bc they understand. or maybe they do care, and that care is so much, and it is extended to everyone to the point it is personally exhausting and they're not taking care of themselves so they have to intentionally ignore people's feelings and emotions in order to take care of their own. it sucks having hyper empathy and then trying to talk about it bc immediately ppl are like "why don't you cry then? why arent you super emotional?" and they're misunderstanding what empathy even is or what it's like to experience hyper empathy. stop acting like being empathetic makes you some kind of saint that martyrs yourself for other people's emotions.

[faelapis]

okay look, calming down - i understand why some people would want zelda to be a protagonist in like a totk-style 3d zelda. that would be great! the reason i predicted 2d for playable zelda is because its a smaller gamble for nintendo - imo, its realistically what we could get. especially at the end of the switch' life cycle AND so soon after totk.

BUT i'm very happy, for a few reasons:

1. it IS mainline zelda. its not called "triforce heroes" or "tingle's rosy rupeeland", its not a peach-style spinoff or side game. its a real zelda game. its called THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: ECHOES OF WISDOM. that alone, giving the mainline zelda brand prestige to this, IS a risk. and its one i super appreciate nintendo taking!!!

2. i disagree that just because it has the links awakening toy-style aesthetic, that automatically makes it a "lesser" or unserious game. links awakening IS a good game! its some peoples favorite! it added interesting lore to the zelda series, its a canon part of the timeline, its mechanically fun, and it has the fun psychological element of analyzing it in terms of links feelings about the dream. like how even the boss monsters are fearful of "dying", begging link not to destroy the island. which of course isn't "real" since its a dream, but its interesting that link would THINK that. also, marin 💔

3. like i said in the prediction post, this could be understood as a testfire for the concept. IF its as successful as any other 2d zelda game (and thats a big if! i already see people calling it more niche or for babies. i hope that doesnt catch on too much and depress hype 😞), maybe nintendo WILL see it as less of a gamble to make zelda the protagonist in a full-on, "serious" 3d title. nintendo is, after all, a business. trying it out with a smaller game makes total sense.

also... it looks like a good game? when a link between worlds was released, everyone thought the wall merging ability was brilliant and a great way to turn 2d zelda into a more unique experience.

this, to me, looks to have similar potential!! the fact that zelda can essentially order enemies to fight for her and use her environment to think of intelligent solutions to any problem is very in-character! it's fitting both for a princess and for the bearer of the triforce of wisdom.

also, its not just building/environment traversal! she does fight!

idk y'all, this looks like a great time to me! i don't know why people would presume its any "lesser" than any other 2d zelda... when we've literally seen another 2d zelda with this exact artstyle. and its an original game!! its not a remake!! :D

[shewolfofvilnius]

It's fascinating how even though you don't always hear about \ anyone other than Astarion, every origin companion in BG3 has an endgame/epilogue state that is either outright bad for them or at the very least "not as good as they deserve".

Obvious there have been books and 100,000 pages of fic and discourse written about Ascended Astarion. In the moments when he almost acts like his old self, even then it's merely humoring you with a whim.

Mother Superior DJ Shadowheart flat out admits to severe empathy for what Viconia went through, and has fully closed herself off from any sense of attachment or feeling other than Nocturne and Tav. Her continued need to find carve-outs and exceptions and loopholes parallels Viconia's own eventual disagreements with Shar. And as we know, Shar will eventually betray or abandon her if Shadowheart doesn't betray her first. It's the story of every devout Sharran we meet.

Gale, the God is a smug arrogant hubris-ridden asshole that's even mean to Tara in the epilogue. Nearly every single sentiment he expressed about why he wanted the Crown and to ascend is immediately inverted. Of course he's not going to interfere. He's a figure of aspiration. Once he received power himself he immediately forgot and forsook everyone and everything about why he wanted it in the first place. A romanced God Gale is SLIGHTLY more grounded but that's mostly just because you ground him. And if you ascend with him, that ends that.

Lae'zel's return to Vlaakith results in her ascension, which leads to her missing the party and being very dead. The things that Lae'zel claimed to value will never truly be as long as Vlaakith rules, and her not escaping and falling back into her people's death cult robs her of the ability to create a new Gith, a better Gith.

Karlach is dead, or almost as bad, a Mind Flayer. And while most of her initial personality remains, by six months in she's already grown emotionally distant and her personality is clearly and evidently being slowly overridden by the brains of the dying she consumes. She's forsaken the embrace of death for the guise of eternal continuation in her. And even surrounded by the ten people who should mean the most in the world to her, all she mostly thinks about is others' perceptions of her (ala the Emperor) and the fact that she's hungry. Mind Flayer Karlach even notes that she used to think becoming a Mind Flayer would be the worst thing ever, but now she likes it. Shades of the Emperor x1000 and a clear sign that the Karlach we know and love is rapidly becoming a memory.

and then there's Grand Duke Wyll. On the surface, it appears the happiest of the "bad" endings, but pay attention. Note how he discusses wheeling and dealing and making agreements with patriars. (How well has contracts and deals worked out for you in the past?) Oh, and in certain conditions including romance, Wyll will offer you the chance to become a Grand Duke as well - with the others being his father (Ravengard #3) and Florrick (Wyll/Ulder's longest lasting family friend). That's not a government of the people for the people. When the power is tied up by a husband, spouse, his father, and their most trusted advisor, that's the makings of a monarchy or oligarchy. Of the type of patriar power-claim to last for generations, something Wyll himself once mocked. Oh, and if you adopt a child, then you get into the worst part of it all: Wyll's been busy running a city, and oh hey, instead of y'all bringing YOUR FOUR MONTH OLD DAUGHTER with you, hey, she'll be cool being watched by the Ilmater temple for a night right? Sorry, Wyll, were you saying something a few months ago about distant parenting? Yikes.

[kujoestars]

The Mechanism of Kafka's Transformation and How It Affects Him

(Crossposting my analysis/theory from Reddit. Also, warning: this post contains both anime and manga spoilers so beware if you are anime-only)

So, something that drove me nuts about the manga's version of the X-ray scene was the fact that there was literally no difference from a normal human chest x-ray. The anime THANK GOODNESS fixed that:

We finally know exactly how Kafka's core looks while he's in human form. It appears to be primarily occupying where the chambers would be with a good amount of myocardium (the heart muscles) suspending it while also continuing to function as a heart.

Notably for me, there's actually a translucent hemicircle up top there where it's supposed to connect to the aorta. In fact, you can see the core is translucent on its left (our right) side while more opaque to its right (our left).

Let me highlight it for reference I hope y'all appreciate the fact I had to do it with a mouse on MSPaint because Reddit won't save images to drafts and I can't drop images from tablet like on desktop:

It appears that Kafka's heart was fully converted and the tissue there is just a facsimile since it appears to be forming a pouch for the core to nestle in.

The anime's expansion of the scene the Mysterious Larva/Young Yoju fused with Kafka ended up perfectly tying in to this. Something I noticed was that Kafka was not actually transforming for most of it. Initially he was clutching at his throat where it entered:

Then just before the transformation started (when his eyes started glowing), he was clawing desperately at his chest:

For reference to anyone who's never studied anatomy, the mid-esophagus is actually resting against the heart, which is why the best form of imaging for the heart is a transesophageal echocardiogram (i.e. stick an ultrasound down the esophagus), which works like in this diagram:

In other words, the Larva's target was his heart and it was burrowing into it from that point. Which is consistent with where Kafka was clawing at in the shot I posted before and why after the change completed, his hand was resting just above that area:

Basically, the theory I have been saving specifically for after this episode is: Everything about Kafka's body is tied to the core.

Yes, that was obvious since we saw him regenerate his entire body from just the core, but what I'm saying here is that that the heart was the only thing the Larva was trying to fuse with. The rest of the body followed instantaneously once the heart became a core. Kaiju cores appear to be storing a lot of energy, so it would fit in with why even the initial change could happen so rapidly. It was a large burst of energy that had Kafka's cells all convert and restructure, and we even see steam coming both off and out of him here in the anime.

All future changes seem to be purely a matter of him controlling every cell in his body like individual muscles or even like how cuttlefish and octopi are able to change their appearance in an instant from muscle contractions and chromatophores.

In other words, the evidence has stacked to full OVERKILL that Kafka is truly a kaiju that can shapeshift into a human rather than the reverse like he and everyone else prefers to think.

Which leads me to my big pet theory right now: the reason Kafka is losing his ability to revert to human form is because he's becoming malnourished. I won't stack the image evidence since I've already done enough and the focus is on the core and Kafka's real biological nature now (I'll save that for a future post, lol), but it only stands to reason that if Kafka is physiologically a kaiju regardless of form, that means he has the metabolic needs of a kaiju.

He was only fine before because he had a lot of extra body fat as reserves and didn't use his kaiju form much. But after entering the Defense Force, he's been in multiple situations where he had to push himself while transformed and consume much more energy. If you pay attention to his body type, you'll notice he's been having quite a bit of weight loss.

Sure, he's been training a lot too and eating better, but following the fight with Isao, he's becoming abnormally thin. Maybe not enough for people to immediately think he needs a sandwich, but as of the latest chapters, I've noticed he's actually pretty lanky now even in kaiju form when previously Kaiju No. 8 was built like a bear.

You could argue it's just art evolution EXCEPT literally no one else had such a drastic change in body type or AT ALL. I'm pretty convinced this is an intentional transition from Matsumoto.

Whatever Kafka is eating as a human, it's not enough to sustain him long term and so his body is going into power save mode. And since his default is kaiju (why else would he constantly slip up his first few months if it wasn't actually his default form?), his body is losing its ability to shapeshift because it doesn't have the energy to. Malnourishment tends to manifest in a similarly piecemeal fashion irl, so I'm not surprised its first sign is just one spot on his hand.

Such a deceptively simple reason for the kaijufication is precisely why I'm very certain that is the cause. Kafka has a lot of issues with loving and taking care of himself. And this series is all about subverting tropes in favor of common sense. It's not some "inner demon" trying to take over (the Larva actually only did that once because Kafka was both in danger and refusing to fight back what it perceived as another daikaiju); Kafka just isn't taking care of himself as usual!

And there you have it, folks. Finally, a clear breakdown of what exactly the Larva did, how the transformations work, and why the kaijufication may not be as scary as everyone thinks. Or rather....not in the way they think. Someone please feed that kaiju properly!

[crossfandomslut]

At Peace in Your Fire pt. 3

part 1 and part 2

Summary: Hewn City bs and lots of Eris screen time haha

Pairing: ErisxArcheron!reader

Word Count: 4k

Notes: I am so so excited that people are liking this story so far !!! I love all your comments and am so appreciative of the likes and reblogs ! For this chapter, I did use a big chunk of the direct dialog from ACOWAR for the Hewn City meeting with Eris, because I think its important context and I wasn't about to rewrite SJM's mastery. So disclaimer, I do not own any of SJM's characters or speak for her or them in anyway ! This is just for shits and gigs and I hope y'all enjoy this chapter ! Also please let me know how we feel about the Eris POV :)

Amber eyes and a pale face littered in freckles, framed by fiery red hair,  stared wildly at her. Eyes full of fear and confusion contorted his beautiful features. He was stunning, truly. Rakish, almost lanky, but toned muscles rippled under his well-fitted clothes as he fell to the ground gripping and clawing at his throat, trying to force air back into his lungs. Y/n did that to him. She made another being feel that pain and suffering. But he was hurting her sister. He was hurting Feyre. Y/n didn’t know why she had to remind herself of that fact so often to justify her actions that day on the frozen lake, but she had fallen asleep thinking about the male every night since.

Now that Feyre was home, things started moving pretty quickly. Hybern was making moves in the Spring Court to bring down the wall to the human lands, and thus putting Prythian on the brink of another war. Everyone was hard at work planning, coordinating, and scheming, but Y/n was told to just keep training. She wanted to be useful when the time came, so she was going to need to hone her powers and her physical abilities. She finally got to be a part of the plans when Rhys announced at family dinner that everyone would be taking a trip to Hewn City.

Y/n wasn’t afraid per-say, but she wasn’t sure what to expect. Feyre had told her that Amarantha’s ‘lair’ for lack of a better term, was designed after the city. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see that firsthand after hearing about everything that Feyre and Rhys went through. She was going to put on a brave face though. It’s not about her. It was about helping this court, her new family, and potentially the fate of the world as they knew it.

She studied herself in the mirror after selecting the right dress. Rhys had told her to wear whatever color she wanted, but she knew that this visit to Hewn City was all about appearances and she needed to help show that they were a united front. She had never been fond of black. It always looked so good on her twin, but Y/n preferred softer, neutral tones that helped her blend into the trees and underbrush. Tonight however, she would step out of her comfort zone. Adapt. Her constant mantra. So, she studied herself in the mirror, eyes gliding along her body that was no longer too thin, but now tones and showing real muscle. Her hips were wider, her arms and thighs thicker. A body to fill out such a fine dress. It was a floor length gown, as black as obsidian. It had see-through long sleeves and a modest neckline. Nothing flashy, she didn’t need to draw attention to herself, she just needed to blend in and help silently from the dais. But as she looked at herself, she thought that she looked quite pretty. She always thought she was the most plain of her sister, even now as Fae, but tonight, Y/n would try to wear this dress with confidence and that casual coolness that came so naturally to all the others.

 Eris’ POV

 That beautiful female on the frozen lake haunted him every waking and sleeping hour of Eris’ life. The way she literally took his breath away. If it weren’t for her power actually stealing the air from his lungs, her beauty alone would have stopped him in his tracks. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his many centuries of existence. He could help but laugh when she stormed up to him in the Winter Court wearing little more than pajamas. He shouldn’t have laughed. If the Illyrians thought she was important enough to bring along, he shouldn’t have underestimated her. He saw her face every time he closed his eyes. Her y/e/c orbs staring straight into his soul. It ratted him, which not much did anymore.

Eris hated Hewn City and he hated Keir. He was so tired of playing these court games and scheming behind the scenes. He knew Rhys liked to make an entrance, but he was growing bored and restless. Until he saw her. She was just as beautiful as the first time he saw her, but now, dressed in a night court black gown, she didn’t glow like she did when she was comfortable in her chestnut brown pants and a forest green sweater. Who is she?

Y/n’s POV

Stood atop the dais behind the single throne that Feyre and Rhys shared, Y/n scanned the room. Doing her best to keep her face carefully neutral, she stood there while Rhys addressed the court introduced Feyre as their High Lady, and coolly demanded that they kneel. After a long pause, the whole room on their knees before them, he released them to enjoy the festivities.

A man with blonde hair, that Y/n identified as Keir, Mor’s father only by blood, approached the dais. Then, the last person she expected to see approached as well. The male from the lake, with the glowing amber eyes and hair that reminded her of a maple trees falling red leaves. She swore her heart stopped beating when he made eye contact with her as he bowed. Not to Rhys or Feyre, but to her.

“Keir. Eris. So kind of you to join us. But don’t be so eager to get our meeting over with, go enjoy the evening. Azriel’s shadows will find you when we’re ready.” Rhys slid his bored gaze over each male and waved a hand in dismissal.

Eris. That was his name. Eris Eris Eris. The name clanged around her brain, and she had to choke back the desire to know how it felt on her tongue. She knew his name now and it made falling asleep to picturing his face feel like she was violating him in some way. She knew she shouldn’t have been thinking about him in the first place. He tried to kill her sister, or bring her back to his father who was a known tyrant and took brutality to another level. She should definitely not be thinking about him. But there he was. And gods damn he was even more devastating than she remembered. For starters, he wasn’t covered in blood, and she wasn’t choking the daylights out of him. But more than that, he had this air about him. He exuded a confidence that was purely Fae male and came from centuries of a life lived. Then she remembered the way that fire had danced from his fingertips. He could wield flame like an extension of his own body. It was beautiful. Y/n once again had to reprimand herself, because those same beautiful flames coming from his long, calloused fingers, were causing harm and pain to her own sister. That light and radiance that fire had was diminished in the context of it’s use. How dare he make Y/n fear something she loved so dearly? How dare her use fire, which is the root of all life, use it to hurt and destroy?

Y/n was snapped out of her daydreaming by the sound of someone clearing their throat. She realized Eris had not broken eye contact with her and was now starring at her expectantly. With no small amount of embarrassment, she realized she was probably just standing here gazing into his eyes while her whole family stood there and watched. He cheeks heated and Eris’ smirk grew.

“I asked you for a dance, lady…?”

“Y/n, you do not have to dance with him. Honestly, you don’t even have to talk to him.” Rhys said.

“Y/n...” She hated how much she liked her name falling from his lips. “Just once dance, Lady Y/n, and I’ll share what I know of the Spring Court in our meeting this evening.” Still smirking, he held out a hand.

“Fine.” Y/n unceremoniously slapped her hand into his. Just because she was practically vibrating with anticipation of being so close to the male, didn’t mean he needed to know that. And neither did her family. For all anyone else knew, she hated Eris as much as they all did. She certainly should if she knew what was good for her. Gods, what was wrong with her!?

That smirk turned into a cocky grin as Eris led Y/n to the dance floor. He tugged on her hand still held in his and pulled her close to his body. Not pressing against her, but close enough that she could feel the heat coming off his body. He was unnaturally hot being a fire wielder, but Y/n never minded the heat. Even found herself having to hold back from pressing every inch of her against the warmth. He stood close to a foot taller than her, and she had to tilt her head up to lock eyes with him. She was met with amber eyes dancing with amusement, and he was met with a cold hard glare.

Eris blew out a soft laugh and asked, “why, little dove, do you hate me so much? We don’t even know each other yet.”

Y/n tried not to linger on the ‘yet’ as she leveled him an incredulous glare. “You mean aside from the fact that you chased my sister across a frozen lake, blasting fire at her and then restrained her with said fire?”

He had the audacity to laugh again. “Yes, Y/n, aside from that. I would very much like to know you. You hating me makes that slightly difficult.”

Gods that smirk. Y/n was trying to think straight as he floated her around the dance floor like it was nothing. She hoped he didn’t realize she was using her magic to keep herself from tripping over her own feet or stepping on his. He was such a beautiful dancer. And the truth was, she wanted to know him too. But instead she said, “you use your gift of fire to hurt others. You use that delicate flame to inflict pain and fear.” She desperately hoped her voice was staying steady, but then he scoffed at her and the leash she had on her temper slipped from her fingers. She feels her voice raising and her cheeks heating as she goes on. “Fire is not meant to cause pain, Eris!”

He halts their movement. That was enough to make her blink and remember where they were. Her eyes and her voice soften as she tries to look straight into his soul and speak directly to it. Her hands drift to hold both of his in her much smaller ones. “Fire is beautiful and lovely and soft and warm. Fire is nurturing and breathes life into everything. Fire is a gentle protector and a kind companion. I am so sorry someone told you otherwise and that you’ve been told to use it as a weapon.” He just blinked at her for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly the music stops, and the room erupts into applause for the musicians. “Eris…?” Y/n sys his name as gently as she can, but he pulled away from her so fast and muttered an ‘excuse me’ before he turned on his heels and practically ran out of the ball room.

Y/n stands there until someone accidently bumps into her and jolts her out of her head and back into her body. Slowly, she makes her way back to the dais staring at her feet, still not totally present. She looks up when she reaches her family only to see them all with a hand over their mouth to choke back a laugh. “What?” Y/n’s brow scrunches and she tilts her head in confusion.

Cassian is the first to break, laughing so loud a few partygoers jump and glasses shatter. The next is Mor, and finally, Feyre asks through tears in her eyes and a barely concealed giggle, “What the hell did you say to him!?”

Y/n just took her spot on the dais next to Feyre and Rhys as they laughed and laughed together and resumed staring at the floor trying not to be eager to see Eris at the meeting later this evening.

Eris’ POV

He had to get out of there. Had to get out of that room that felt too similar to under the mountain and away from that female who was far too gentle and kind to be anywhere near him. ‘The Mother must really hate me’ he thinks as he reaches the city’s edge and can finally breathe again. He knew the shadowsinger would find him soon and call for the meeting, but before then he needed to regain his composure. Y/n didn’t need to use her power to stop his breathing and make his heart race.

He took a few deep breaths and the shaking in his hands and the ache in his chest eased slightly. His mind drifted to the feeling of her in his arms, how well they danced across the floor together and how lovely her hands felt pressed to his chest. ‘Fire is not meant to cause pain’ Y/n had said. The words had come from her mouth with such passion and determination that he almost believed her. He wanted to. Gods did he want to believe her and her kind words and her cold calloused hands that soothed his burning skin. There was no way for Y/n to have known his father had struck him across the chest just this morning. A show of power after his father bested him during sparring. The punishment for winning would have been far more gruesome. Y/n’s cold unassuming hand placed directly over where his father’s had left the flesh raw and painful. Her lovely hand placed there while she looked him in the eyes and told him that fire wasn’t meant to cause pain and that she was sorry. He couldn’t believe she was real, and his need to know her just grew tenfold. But he wasn’t good enough for her. He wasn’t good. He should keep his distance and save her the misery of his company again.

Eris was dreading the mask he would dawn in this meeting and the monster she would think of him as afterward. A shadow wrapped around his wrist and tugged. It was time. Eris schooled his features into the calm, bored, arrogant heir, winnowed back into the halls of the palace, and sauntered his way into the meeting.

Y/n’s POV

The meeting was nothing of what Y/n expected. Eris came in, and straight up avoided eye contact with her. She couldn’t lie, that stung a bit.

He sat across from Rhys, but looked to Mor with a knowing glint in his eye and said, “you look well, Mor.”

“You don’t speak to her,” Azriel said softly.

Eris gave a bitter smile. “I see you’re still holding a grudge.”

Y/n was so confused.

“This arrangement, Eris,” Rhys spoke, “relies solely upon you keeping your mouth shut.”

Eris huffed a laugh. “And haven’t I done an excellent job? Not even my father suspected when I left tonight.”

Feyre glanced between her mate and Eris. “How did this come about?”

Apparently, Feyre was just as lost as you were.

Eris explains that he caught Azriel’s shadows snooping around the Autumn court after they returned from the frozen lake, and that his brothers ‘mysteriously’ forgot about Feyre’s powers. He said that he had taught himself a few things about daemati powers and how to block them out. He says that he didn’t tell his father because he knew that Baron would want to hunt Feyre down and kill her for his belief that she stole part of his power. He doesn’t believe that Baron knows just how much of a threat Hybern is, but that he wont join forces with them if he finds out about Feyre’s powers.

“So what’s the asking price for you silence then, Eris?” Mor demanded. “Another little bride for you to torture?”

All the blood drained from Y/n’s face as her eyes darted between Mor and Eris. Her head hurt from trying to put this puzzle together without having all the pieces. She knew that Mor’s father had tried to marry her off and Mor took control of her own fate by sleeping with Cassian, but she hadn’t known the male she was sold off to was supposed to be Eris. The pounding in her head did not cease.

Something flickered in Eris’ eyes. “I don’t know who fed you those lies to begin with, Morrigan,” he said with vicious calm. “Likely the bastards you surround yourself with.”

A sneer from Azriel. And a sharp intake of breath from Y/n. If he had looked at her she would have seen the brief flash of guilt in his eyes.

Mor snarled, rattling the glasses. “You never gave any evidence to the contrary. Certainly not when you left me in those woods.”

“There were forces at work that you have never considered,” Eris said coldly. “And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me.”

“You hunted me like an animal,” Feyre cut in. “I think we will choose to believe the worst.”

Y/n didn’t know how to feel. Couldn’t think of anything to say or do, so she just dropped her gaze to the floor. She shouldn’t come to Eris’ defense. She just met the male and apparently her gut feeling about him was wrong. Her family hated him and he hurt Mor. Something didn’t feel right, but what would she even say? There were literal centuries of bad blood between her found family and this male who for some gods forsaken reason, she couldn’t stop thinking about. This arrogant, spiteful, male who attacked her sister! Not just Feyre it seems, but Mor as well. Even if he didn’t have direct hand in harming her, he didn’t help her. Why didn’t he help her? Her head was still spinning trying to sort through all these conflicting feelings. She felt like she needed to come to Eris’ defense, but why? Maybe because she felt deep down in her soul that no one ever had. She could feel that he was good, so why were his actions such the opposite? The pounding in her head wouldn’t stop and she felt as if she might faint. The conversation starting to sound like they were underwater.

“I was given and order. And sent to do it with two of my…brothers.”

“And what of the brother you hunted down alongside me? The one whose lover you helped to execute before his eyes?” Feyre accused.

Eris slammed a hand on the table, which did nothing to help Y/n headache. No one seemed to notice her flinch and start to sway. “You know nothing about what happened that day. Nothing.”

“Indulge me,” was all Feyre said in response.

“How do you think he made it to the Spring border,” Eris’ voice had returned to its normal low and sharp nature. “I wasn’t there- when they did it. Ask him. I refused. It was the firs and only time I have denied my father anything. He punished me. And by the time I got free… They were going to kill him too. I made sure they didn’t. Made sure Tamlin got word- anonymously- to get the hell over to his own border.” Eris picked at a stray thread on his jacket, “not all of us were as lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.”

Sharp, stabbing, shooting pain ran through Y/n’s head and it was so surprising that she let out a yelp as she dropped to the floor, and everything went black. The last thing she remembered hearing was the voice of Eris’ panicked voice crying her name.

Taglist: @abysshaven @myromanempiree @lilah-asteria @96jnie @ivy-34 @minaethrym

[coconutdays]

drunk pt. 2

s. this is part two to this original post! my attempt at a mutual pining ??? slowburn??? with the Honored One, Gojo. Y'all fuck after one of those intense movie confession scenes yada yada.

w.c. 7.2k

w. fem! reader , gojo! x reader , fluff! , angst! , slowburn! , smut! ( I think the slowburn is lowk angsty in my opinion) y/n’s cursed technique is basically like Wanda from marvels abilities, I didn't proofread much srry, btw this is my first time executing a fully fledged fuck so bare with me I tried.

You had only minutely interacted with Satoru ever since that day you went cursed spirit hunting with him. It was normal, nothing was weird or out of the ordinary after, but everything seemed so dull in comparison to that day. Although you could say there was less of a chance to speak when he did go overseas for a couple of days. And you were partially grateful that it was like that. You couldn't fret over your feelings for him if he wasn't feeding you anything to reminisce on.

On one of your minuscule interactions with the famed sorcerer, he asked you to take his newbie first years to a cursed mansion while he would be busy scouring Spain for a key that did who knows what.

Which leads to the current situation at hand.

"What happened here?" Yuuji asks, kicking a stray pebble a few feet away and into the bushes

"The owner of this place slit the throats of everyone in the mansion at night, then shot himself in the head." You squinted at one of the far off windows of the mansion, spotting something that would have most likely been a cursed spirit.

"Gross." Nobara's face turns into one of disgust.

"What level cursed spirit does it have?" It's Megumi asking now

You turn to look at all of them, a glint in your eyes.

"Grade 1"

"WHAT?" Nobara stomps her foot, "Why is Gojo sending us out here on sui-"

"I'm here." You laugh, a red flame swirls around your irises, "I'm the second strongest after Gojo. Give me some credit."

"Gojo gives her most of his missions if he suddenly can't do them." Megumi points out, "We're safe."

"Not entirely." You shift your weight onto one of your hips and cross your arms, "I'm here to intervene if things start going south, which I hope they don't, but under the situation it does then I step in."

That was twenty minutes ago, and things had gone south.

You were ambushed by more than one Special grade in the mansion and left the three first-years to deal with a cursed spirit much akin to the one described in the correction facility that lead to Yuuji's death. The others were almost alike to it, but they were starting to speak, forming words more coherently by the minute.

"What the fuck."

There were four surrounding you, and the only reason they weren't going for the first-years was because you sealed them into the top floor with you. You would have rather dealt with this by yourself, considering you had to hold back because the first years were in the floor beneath you, but you'd have to make do with your seal.

Much to your surprise, halfway through your fight, you could hear the sounds of relief from the first-years and one less screeching curse.

Good, they exorcised it.

Both of your hands were busy repelling your opponents away from you as you neared the staircase so they could hear you.

"GO OUTSIDE! NOW!"

"But you're dealing with four of them!" Nobara started, "If you-"

"JUST WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE! AND CALL IJICHI!"

You could hear Nobara starting to protest, but you could make out the grumbles of Megumi to place trust in you.

When you got a peek through the window of Yuuji's pink hair, you let out a sigh of relief. You didn't have to hold back anymore, but you weren't going to be able to be the one to take the first-years back to Jujutsu Tech after this.

What you considered the cursed energy equivalent of an atomic bomb was what you released within the enclosed top floor. You concentrated on it breaking apart the curses and squeezing them out of existence--much like a bomb would.

However, the aftermath would be something you'd leave the first years up to. You didn't have to hold back within the confines of the mansion, none of the students were in there, but they were directly outside, waiting for you in a position where contact with the explosion would hurt them. The moment you release your technique, the confines the mansion burst, pulverizing the curses out of existence and subjecting you to the sheer force of your cursed energy being concentrated into one subjectively small enclosed space.

Your cursed energy treated you like shrapnel and launched you headfirst into the concrete ground near the first-years. It was the last thing you remembered before everything after started fading in and out.

You were in the back of Ijichi's car, at the center with Megumi and Yuuji on either side, grabbing at your body. Why were they--

Oh, there's gaping wounds on your stomach and legs.

Nobara is frantically turning to look back from the front passenger seat again and again.

"Drive faster Ijichi!"

Maybe you could start using your cursed technique to heal-

"Oh fuck!" Yuuji starts

You start coughing violently into your lap

Was that blood from your wounds or-

"Ow."

It's the first thing you utter when you wake up, feeling an intense soreness all over your body. They're mere action of lifting up a finger sending shock bolts through your body.

"Finally someone's awake." Shoko sighs carelessly, she's on her phone looking through who knows what.

"How long have I been out?" You groan, closing your eyes to mentally prepare for her to say 3 days or something along those lines.

"Two weeks." She gets up and walks to serve you some water as your eyes shoot open, "Constricting a nuclear explosion to only the confines of a mansion was not a smart decision."

You lean up against your pillows and start to rub your sore neck, "The first-years were right outside of the mansion. I had no other choice."

"Still not your best moment." She blinks tiredly, her careless look on her face.

"How are they anyway?"

"Fine. Small cuts and bruises. They were fine by the end of the day. Gojo's got them in the classroom right now."

"He's back from Spain already?"

"He came back the day after the mansion incident. Thought you would've remembered him poking your head to see if you could hear him this morning." She started to write on a chart, probably yours.

"I don't." You start to look through your faint memories to see if it held onto anything like that.

Nothing.

"Well, you should be fine to go home already." Shoko starts to walk out of your room, raising the chart she was just scribbling on moments ago, "You check out just fine. Get some rest before they probably send you on another mission by tomorrow."

By the time you put on some clothes, provided by Shoko, and take a shower at your place to soothe your muscles, it's been a few hours, leaving Gojo to stare at an empty infirmary bed, your scent lingering in the room.

"She woke up a couple hours ago, must be home already." Shoko mindlessly says as she walks back to her office with a stack of folders in her arms.

After your shower, you're on your couch watching a comfort show of yours while you snack on some ice cream to wallow your feelings in. The reason for your being upset quite obvious.

He should've known you were awake by now. Why wasn't he checking on you.

It annoyed you, both the fact that for someone who had been at your bedside this morning, he hadn't shown up to receive you in your awake state, and that you cared so much you started thinking like his girlfriend.

Satoru didn't owe it to you to come see you. He wasn't yours to be obliged and neither were you his to expect it.

But fuck if you couldn't help checking your phone every five minutes to see if he'd text or call you. Hell, you'd love for him to show up announced any moment.

He didn't though.

You went to sleep upset that night--mostly at him--it wasn't his fault for not showing up, but your heart couldn't help but be disappointed by his lack of presence.

You got called in by Jujutsu High to help train the second-years the following day. A mission with five special grades seemed more appealing when you considered the fact that you'd more than likely see Satoru once there.

"Look who's awake."

Gojo is suddenly walking next to you as you lead the second-years to the sparring grounds. He doesn't look in your direction, merely facing ahead, but he has that same unbothered smile on his face--it bugs you.

He releases a handsome chuckle before starting again, "You drool a little when you're knocked out. Did ya know that?"

"No, I didn't, Satoru." You exhale, distracting yourself by looking for a nice spot to have the students duel.

"It's quite--"

"Shut up Gojo, we have to spar."

Both of you turn to see Makki scowling at the object of most people's irritation, including yours. She's ready to fight, earnestly tugging at the straps of her bag of weapons.

"You pain me, Makki," He grins, fixing his posture to walk away, "Alright, then. Learn well from y/n, she's the second best after all."

He walks in the opposite direction from you guys, trying to taste the last breath he inhaled when he was next to you before he had to let it go. It was his own pitiful attempt at basking in your presence rather than letting his inhibitions crumble and grabbing you by the shoulders to ask if you were okay? what the hell were you thinking? he shouldn't have sent you on that mission, he'd apologize if he let that part of himself come through. If. But he won't do that.

The second-years did learn from you. Makki the most, almost coming close to handing you your ass in hand to hand combat after taking in a bit of advice from you. Her semblance in physical fortitude was getting closer and closer to Toji Zenin every day. Nonetheless, the keyword was almost. She almost won and probably could have been closer to that if you weren't so ticked off by Satoru Gojo. You were in such a zone, honed in on the negativity he procured for you by not giving you the attention you wanted, that you barely spoke while focusing on Makki's every move besides giving advice, your usual praise and teasing gone.

You showered after, the heat of the sun and physical exertion making you uncomfortable in your own sweat and forcing you to take the quickest train to your place instead of getting a ride. And you didn't want to come across him again.

The feelings were too much.

It was why you found yourself halfway through a bottle of whiskey, snacking on a charcuterie board you ordered for the fucks of it. You're wearing another set of those "skimpy pjs" as Gojo had put it and staring out your balcony to gaze at the city's night lights.

You just want him so bad.

You want to kiss him. You want to be in his embrace and tell him he the prettiest eyes ever. And he's a womanizer, it chisels away at your heart. God, he's probably tongue deep in a pretty blonde right now. There's tears raining down on your cheeks and you don't bother to wipe them away, choosing to take another swig of whiskey and accompanying it with a slice of prosciutto to tug some of the sharp aftertaste away.

It hurts, wanting him. He just needs to get from you. You need to get away from him. Fuck the friendship, fuck everything.

ding!

There's someone at your door and you're up to check who the hell is at your apartment on a Friday at 1 a.m. like a lunatic. Your guard slightly goes up the closer you get to your door, the idea of someone dangerous being behind the door coming across your mind. There's a patch of goosebumps raising at the back of your neck, suddenly growing alert at your own thoughts as you tip toe to your peep hole.

And of course it's someone dangerous.

"What do you want Gojo." You don't bother to be much curious about it. You want him out of your face.

He's standing in front of you with his stupid handsomeness. That same bottle of whatever he ordered the other night in his left hand and his irritating smirk on his face along with those blacked out glasses. He's wearing black pants and a tight black shirt too, you can even see a sliver of a silver chain on his neck.

You don't see, hear, or even notice it when it happens, but his breath hitches in the quick fire second between your deadpan question of his whereabouts at your apartment and his teasing question at your teary face.

"Aw, you cryin'?" He tilts his head, canines bearing as his lips curve further up.

It makes you want to use his own red, purple, blue, or whatever fucking color of the rainbow on him. He's a complete ass. Satoru Gojo is a waste of your time. He should forget your address, your number, your favorite croissant filling, everything.

You just want him away from you, where he won't hurt you.

"Yes. Insensitive piece of shit asshole!" You shout, grabbing at your door handle.

"Get out of my face!"

You shut your door forcefully and carelessly, paying no mind to your surroundings or neighbors in your drunken haze.

When you turn around, he's already behind you.

The wine bottle is already on your kitchen island and Gojo's towering over you, his eyebrows scrunched just a bit and his eyes continuously trying to analyze you as his irises move back and forth. He had taken his glasses off, they were hanging off the collar of his shirt now.

Your nose twitches a bit, cursing his ability to teleport. The hate you hold for it becoming a heavy pit in your stomach.

"Get out." The twitch in your nose goes off again.

The panic of the situation is startling to Gojo. You look beautiful, the skimpy pink romper you're wearing is all consuming to him, he wants to rip it off and take you to your room. The crying fit you were just having had softened your features and god the little twitch you keep doing with your nose–

And you're angry at him for some reason.

No, he's stupid. It's his fault, you were crying and instead of letting himself worry about you like a normal person, he teased you about it. His own realization makes him scramble to fix his previous statement.

"No–look I'm sorry for asking like a jerk. Why are you crying?" He takes another step closer to you, pressuring you into answering his question.

Gojo was trying to get a physical tell out of you. You had healed from the mission, right? And sparring with the second-years couldn't have left you pummeled. He couldn't see any wounds on you.

He felt the rise of his hand to cup your cheek, to force you to look at him and tell him what was wrong.

No, he can't.

You look up at him defiantly, biting your cheek and beginning to grow angrier, angry at him, angry at your heart, angry at the tears that still manage to flow down your cheeks.

You take a step back and reiterate yourself.

"Get out, Gojo."

There's a linger of hurt in his eyes, along with confusion when his eyebrows scrunch even more. You can see he's at a loss for words when his mouth keeps slightly opening and closing and his eyes look like they're psychoanalyzing you.

You roll your eyes in a teary frustration and stomp your foot like a two year old throwing a fit when he doesn't move even in the slightest to leave.

"Please, Gojo! Just leave!" You cry, voice cracking, "Get out of my apartment, leave me alone, I don't–"

You almost yelp at the sudden intrusion of your personal space. He's got an iron grip on your hands all of a sudden, forcing them out of the way in case you try to push him away physically this time. And he's staring only dead into your eyes now, an overall concerned look on his face that overpowers his slight irritation at your stubbornness.

"Tell me why you're crying."

You try to loosen out of his grip, only for it to do nothing like you knew it would. It forces you to scrunch your nose in distaste and turn your cheek to him.

"I don't want to see you." You mutter, your voice audibly nasally and battered from the crying fit you were having.

Gojo brings you closer to him with a simple tug of his hands, he leans closer to your face.

"Why." His breathing starts to pick up and it sounds less like a question and more like a sound of offense.

"Let go of me."

"Not until you answer me." He tightens his grip on you just a little for emphasis, to show you that he really won't let go until you fulfill his request.

You still don't want to look at him. You can feel his laser like stare at you, pinning you down and pressuring you into giving him what he wants. It's all too much, his touch is searing to your skin and the fact that his body is so close to yours in hazing your mind. It's so much that you have no choice but to turn to finally look at him and it sends you back to the state you were previously in before he rung your doorbell.

You feel the hot wads of tears start to tumble off your waterline as you vomit a singular word.

"You."

He reels his head back a bit in confusion, "What, I–"

"You! I'm crying because of you!" You babble through your hiccups and tears, "And you show up like a jerk! You didn't even care that I was crying! And–"

"What makes you think I don't care about you?" He jeers you closer, his tone obviously offended now.

"Are you getting early dementia or something! You did that stupid aw you crying bullshit!" The situation growing worse as your eyes go completely bloodshot and there's hiccups continuously interrupting your speech.

"You didn't even care that I woke up! Today, you just came by to be a dick about me drooling! Yesterday, you didn't even show up to see me after I left the infirmary!"

His grip loosens a bit at your declaration of mistrust in his care for you.

He cares. He really cares. You can't keep saying he doesn't, he thinks. He left Spain the moment he got an angry text from Nobara that the mission he entrusted to you left you on death's door. He spent every free moment of his walking by or into your recovery room. He walked by your apartment last night to see if you were okay, his eyes had seen you sleeping safe and sound and it was enough to soothe his heart.

None of which you knew about, he realizes.

By now, you've broken free from his grasp, taking advantage at his loss of words, and fleeing to your bedroom. A loud bang followed the small pit pats of your bare feet on the floor, and it brought him back to reality.

Gojo now stares at the front door of your apartment, eyes still glued to where you were previously standing. He feels like his heart is stuck in his throat, unable to come out and run towards you like it wants to out of fear. He can hear his heartbeat pulsating in the cold silence of your apartment and it makes him confront himself instead of you.

You thought he didn't care and it made you upset.

And the mere fact is gut-wrenching for him.

It's so devastating to him, that his feet are suddenly driving him towards your room and his hands are opening the door.

He noticed the half empty bottle of whiskey and glass on your kitchen island as he passed by too. It makes him even more wary as he stands underneath the doorframe and sees you sat at the edge of your bed, head in your hands and violently crying.

"I care about you."

You hear him, but you don't have the energy to beg him to leave anymore or even notice him. You're spent and too embarrassed of your outburst to look at him.

Gojo wishes you could look at him. He wants the security of your eyes being there for him to bask in and it has him walking to kneel on the ground in front of you.

You feel his hands, soft and tough at the same time, pulling yours down, away from your face. It forces you to look down at him. You see the breath he lets out in relief the moment you make eye contact with him.

You're so weak, you can't help but melt into the feeling of his hands on yours now. A salty tear makes its last run on your face and you're nothing but a sniffling and hiccuping mess as you stare back at him.

He speaks again, "I am so sorry."

"Can you please stop touching me." You rasp out, suddenly becoming aware of how much more painful this is for you when he's feeding into youre delusions.

You can feel his blood stop pulsing for some reason. His hands are suddenly dead weight and his eyes widen.

"I can't do this anymore." You breathe out nasally, readying yourself to ruin your friendship with him.

"I love you Satoru."

It comes out heavy, like a massive paper weight on the air both of you were breathing.

And suddenly, he starts to feel his blood pumping again, the hands holding yours beginning to grow firm in their grip. His chest moves up and down even faster as he stares at you because his brain just short-circuited. He thought the inner works of his domain and technique were all he ever had to worry about handling, but this is taking the cake. Infinity and the knowledge it covers is nothing compared to what you just said.

"And–" You have to take a pause to stop the tears brimming on your waterline again, "it really hurts pining after you. I shouldn't be upset at you for not showing up at my doorstep yesterday like a boyfriend would. I wouldn't be if I weren't such a fool for you."

You're harshly wiping a tear off your cheek out frustration before you continue. You try to settle the now free hand away from him, on your lap, but he takes it back, still looking up at you without a trace of a word making an appearance on his mouth.

"I need you out of my life. I want to move on." You plead, "I can't be in the same room as you or else ill think about how bad I want to be next to you. I can't be this close to you and not kiss you. I want to wake up after getting hurt from a mission and not drown myself in whiskey because you didn't show up at my door to check on me."

"No."

Gojo is looking at you like you're an idiot. His face is twisted in a mix of offense and disgust, part of his nose is wrinkled and his eyebrows are twisted.

"Gojo–"

"Stop calling me by my last name." He cuts, eyes now harsh on you.

You're confused now, bleary eyes trying to understand him and how negative he seems right now. You want to say something, but everything you can think of is at the tip of your tongue and you're opening and closing your mouth like a fish on dry land.

Gojo looks like he wants to say something too, and like he knows what he wants to say, but he's struggling to just spit it out as he minimally glares at you. If you squint hard enough though, you might have just been able to see the slight gloss of sadness color over his eyes.

"I don't want you out of my life." He shakes his head, eyebrows still furrowed.

You sniffle, "But I just said that–"

You're pulled down by your hands and your face lands right smack on his, followed by a kiss ensued by him.

The kiss is enough to send you to sleep, it's soothing and everything you need to forget all your worries. And it's a little salty, a byproduct of your fit, but it doesn't seem to matter when Gojo reaches a hand up to your cheek and deepens his reach a little, a low grunt of affection coming from his throat when you let out a sigh.

It was short-lived, but it said enough.

When Satoru pulls back, he's still concentrated on looking for tells on your face, trying to make he got his point across.

"I've been putting you at the back of my mind for the past two years." He confesses sternly meanwhile he caresses both of your hands with his thumbs, rubbing soothing circles in the wake of his words. "I care about you so much I force myself not to." The last few words giving him the inclination to hang his head in shame.

"And I am so sorry it made you cry." He sighs in defeat, raising up both of your hands to kiss them as an apology. He's looking up at you with his big blue eyes, pleading for your mercy and you want to move, you want to act. It's why you lean down and give him a small peck on the lips to wake him up a little then dive back in again to kiss him.

It doesn't last long in that position–merely five seconds–until Satoru starts rising and pushing you back onto the bed softly. He pushes you forward onto the bed to make room for his legs before one of his hands is perched right next to your head and the other is guiding your thigh to wrap your leg around his waist.

Your hands run and grasp at his hair and neck, making sure to appreciate the feeling of his skin beneath your hands.

You begin to moan when he starts using tongue on you and it gets a rise out of him in the form of him grinding his bulge against your crotch.

"Satoru."

"Fuck." He groans, breathing hard as he kisses you. He can't just leave after this. He can't go back to his apartment. Hell he doesn't even know if he could pull himself away from you right now if there were a sudden emergency.

He feels you moving underneath him and he opens his eyes mid kiss to see you moving down the straps of your romper. The action causes him to pull back so he can see what you're trying to do.

"What are you doing?" He breathes, lips rosy and glossy from both of you guys' spit.

You free your arms from the thin pink straps right as he says that and look him in the eyes when you pull the spandex like material below your breasts.

"What I just did." You nod down innocently towards your boobs.

"Fuck. Fuck." He groans, reaching to palm both of them. It only lasts for a second before he starts to pinch at them, rubbing them between his fingers and eliciting whimpers from you.

"Yeah, just like that baby."

It makes move your hips up in search of him and it has him leaning back down to kiss you, needier this time. Satoru includes more tongue than anything, wanting to just be in you, in your skin, everywhere, as close as he can get.

You start to yank at the bottom his shirt soon enough.

"Take this off." You whine

Easily and quickly, he complies to your request, grabbing his shirt by the collar and taking it off of his body. He throws it behind him and is about to lean back down when his eyes go astray towards your crotch.

There's a wet patch very obviously soaking through and he can see the mold of your pussy sticking to the damp material. It makes his cock jump at the sight and he can't help but run a finger across your slit.

It makes a shiver run up your spine and a moan leave your mouth.

"You like that?" He's staring you down when you look back at him after having shut your eyes in pleasure.

"Mhm." You nod, eyebrows furrowed and eyes blown wide with lust as you take both of his hands and make him grab the material of your romper. "Take it off of me."

Satoru doesn't need to say anything as he obeys your request. He pulls at your pajamas and helps you slide it off your legs, too overwhelmed by the intensity of the situation to make any witty or teasing comments.

What wasn't part of your request was when he held both of your legs up in the air by squishing your thighs together and dove straight for your pussy.

You almost scream at the sudden intrusion of him initiating a makeout session with your pussy. The squishing of your legs making the sensation more intense for some reason. You can hear Satoru groaning into you while he sucks on your clit. He shifts his weight so that his arm is wrapped around your legs to keep them together and you wonder why he switches to only one until you feel a singular digit of his sliding into your walls.

" 'Toru." You moan, legs twitching a bit when you feel him hook a finger up and apply pressure to that one spot that has you begging for more.

"Gimme another one, please." You urge, fisting at the sheets next to you for some sort of relief.

"I got on the first flight back the second I heard what happened." He confesses, breath raggedy as he peers over from the side of your legs and gives you the other finger you asked for. His entire lower side of his is glistening, you almost feel embarrassed that it's your juices.

He continues confessing and pumping his fingers in and out of you, the squelching noises accompanying his words.

"I was scared shitless." He almost grieves, a messy confusion of his own sexual energy and his pleading for your forgiveness. Satoru starts to plant a flutter of kisses along your thigh while he keeps his eyes on you. "I love you so much." He groans, extremely turned on by the increasing pulsing of your walls and the faces you keep making.

"Yea? Oh fuck–" The last five words he uttered were adding even more ecstasy to your euphoria and had started to plummet you into your orgasm when coupled with the deeper and faster pace Satoru introduced.

"Come on, pretty. Cum for me." Satoru almost sounds like he's begging, mouth opening in awe in sync with yours at the overwhelming sense of pleasure crashing over you.

It comes out in a long mix between a moan and a whine, along with the wriggle of your hips and legs as Satoru keeps moving his fingers in and out while you ride out your high.

You're heaving when it washes over and you're about to flinch at the overstimulation of Satoru's fingers when he pulls them out and puts them in his mouth. You can see him slightly roll his eyes back when he hollows his cheeks a bit to fully clean his fingers off and get your taste out of them.

Satoru lets go of the grip he had keeping your legs up, and he gets up to quickly take his pants off, followed by his boxers, and–

"You're big." You marvel, sitting up now and admiring the view, also trying to wrap your head around the fact that he's going to hurt. He's pretty and long, reaching a bit past his belly button when it slaps against his stomach, and his girth is scream worthy.

When Satoru looks down, you look so innocent, peering at him through your lashes before focusing your gaze back on his length. He sees your thighs shift against each other–a boost to his ego and his horniness–but he can also tell you're a little freaked out by the sheer size.

"We don't have to." He heaves earnestly, chest rising and falling a bit faster than usual out of pent up sexual aggression from fingering you and watching you cum, and the need to be inside of you right now, which he'd be more than capable of stowing away for now if you didn't feel comfortable taking him.

"We can make it fit." You reassure softly and lean up to tug one of his hands to you in the bed while his eyes widen.

Satoru is in between your legs now, eyeing you down with lust blown pupils, an animal like stare that has you shrinking into the bed the more it lingers. Truth be told, he doesn't know how to act now that he's got you underneath him, legs spread, and your pretty little face waiting for him to do something.

His first move is to kiss you again, he missed your lips in the brief few minutes he was eating you out and fingering you. The kiss makes your skin crawl and pull him closer to you by the shoulders you have your arms wrapped around.

His cock lands right between your lips after that and it makes both of you suck in a breath the contact, a needy grind of both of yours' hips following.

"I want you inside of me 'Toru." You sigh against his ear as he dips his head down into your neck, mouthing and biting.

You feel his grip in the sheets right next to your head tighten and manage to get a view of his large and broad back contorting at the sentence.

"How bad do you want it?" He almost snarls, moving his hips so his cock keeps sliding between your folds, gathering your slick on his shaft and stimulating your clit in the process. His head leans down even further and he's sucking on your nipple, nipping a bit to get squeals out of you for not answering him as fast he wanted you to.

"I want it really bad." You can't stand the pulsating between your legs anymore, your hips can only move towards him for so long before you feel like you'll die. You needily scratch at his back when his other hand pinches your nipple particularly hard. "I feel like I'm gonna die if you don't fuck my pussy right now." It comes out whiny and high-pitched, the overall want for him making you pathetic.

He comes back up with a crazed stare more intense than the last one and dives for your mouth again, aggressive and overwhelming, like he wants to swallow you whole. There's teeth and tongue everywhere, you wouldn't be surprised if your lips were bleeding by the end of this.

When you're caught up in the feeling of his chest on yours and his heavy breathing against yours while you kiss, he starts lining himself up to your entrance. The intrusion of his fat tip in your hole interrupting your ability to kiss and making your jaw go slack.

You start to lift your hips off the bed without thinking and Satoru wraps his arm around your waist to keep you in place. He hasn't moved any further, basking in the invitation of your warmth and giving you time to adjust.

"It's so big." You mutter, hand in his hair and the other holding onto his back for dear life while you look at the rest you have to take.

It's the first time he even so much as smiles a little when he looks up at you and you see a glint of his canines and a glossed over look in his eyes. "Yea?"

"Mhm." You nod, eyebrows knitting when he pulls back and inches in a little further with a shallow thrust.

He drops his head into your neck, trying to keep himself from biting the bullet and completely pushing into you in one go. "Fuck." He moans when he thrusts back in again

He picks up the pace a little with every shallow thrust that gets him an inch deeper in you and by the time he's fully in, he's giving you hard and punctual thrusts. You're close to screaming every time he bottoms out, mouth open while you whine and moan. It makes him take advantage and he swallows your noises by shoving his tongue down your throat. He licks at your tongue, almost as if he's trying to wrap around it like you're doing to him.

"Love –hearin' –that –pretty fuckin –pussy –take me." He grunts against your lips, punctuating between almost every word with a sharp thrust into you. The soft squelching sounds reminding him that he's very much inside of you and making a mess of you.

"I–" You struggle to speak, the sex taking away your ability to speak.

And Satoru doesn't care, reaching a hand up to your chin to make you look at him as he keeps pummeling into you. "You what baby?"

The petname only adds to your euphoria, making it even more difficult to respond to him. But he's still got your chin in his hand, and he's not showing any signs of looking away or stopping his pace.

"I–I mmmmm–I love–love you."

His eyes soften a little, still as ravenous considering he's pummeling your pussy for the first time, but they soften just a smidge nonetheless. And he moves the hand holding your chin to cup your cheek, running a soothing thumb as he returns the affection to you.

"I love you too. Fuck you're clamping down so tight. Shit. I love you so much y/n. Don't want anybody else to have you. Oh, god. You make me so fucking crazy."

The hand previously on your cheek is now snaking its way down, stopping until his thumb is rubbing your clit and eliciting porn worthy moans from you at the added stimulation.

"You're gonna make me cum Satoru." You breathe out, high pitched and almost moaning loud enough to wake up anyone within the vicinity of your building

The warning is an incentive for Satoru to lift one of your legs up, letting him reach deeper and keep the same pace that has your pussy doing that familiar chasing spasm around his cock now instead of his fingers.

"Cum for baby." He gasps out, abs flexing as he struggles with his own pleasure. "I know you fuckin can. Please. Please. Please. Need to feel it on my dick."

By the fourth thrust in the new position your stomach drops and your legs are spasming trying to close and fidget, but Satoru's iron grip on you stops it from happening. He keeps fucking you through it, staring at you as he does, making sure to frame the picture of you coming on his cock for the first time in his head for all of eternity.

There's less resistance from you when you fall limp after and just take it. Your legs feel like jelly and fall even more moldable to Satoru's physical requests, letting him push your leg farther back and dig even deeper into you how he wants. You know it hurts, that you're supposed to at least try to push away his cock from molding into you again and again even after you've reached your peak, but it just feels so damn good to hurt this way. All you can do is squeal after every thrust of his. And when you feel his pace grow sloppier and faster, it makes you reach for his neck and hair, roping him into you.

"I'm gonna cum." Satoru's cheeks are rosy and his eyes are glazed over as he looks at you, desperation for his release written all over them.

"Cum for me 'Toru." You whine, eyes almost rolling back from a particular jolt of his hips and leaning up as much as you can to plant a chaste kiss on his bottom lip. "Want your cum to fill me up. I need it so bad."

"Please, 'Toru. Cum in me, please."

It drives him over the edge. He drops his weight on you to kiss you through the stuttering of his hips and jolts of his cum into you. You feel his warmth pooling inside of you and can hear both of you guys' labored breathing after the whirlwind sex you just had.

Satoru's rough and passionate kisses from seconds ago turned into chaste quick ones that he kept stealing from you until he shifted his weight from his palm to his forearm and cupped the side of your face, affectionally moving a stray hair from your forehead.

His sky blue eyes peered down at you, taking in the sight intensely, as if any moment you could try to push him away from your life again.

"You're so beautiful." He breathes in awe, gaze turned soft.

"So are you." You replicate his tone, cupping his face in return and appreciating the fact that he looks so pretty and handsome in the moonlight seeping through your floor to ceiling windows right now.

He grabs at one of the hands on his face and brings it to his lips, placing a warm kiss atop of it.

"I was here last night." He confesses, "I passed by your apartment to see if you were fine while you were sleeping." He wants to look away in shame. "I didn't think– There was–"

Satoru closes his eyes in frustration for a second at himself before finding his footing again.

"I've been doing everything I can to be there for you without you knowing, without me knowing, I didn't even know I was going to spend the entire day with you that other day until my mouth found a reason to make it about work."

He sighs at himself before he continues, "I care."

"I spent every moment I could waiting for you to wake up. I checked on your apartment to clean it. I looked for your cursed energy anytime I was within a vicinity of the school to see if you were recovering. I care."

You're close to speechless at his confession, resisting the urge to pull him down and litter his entire face in kisses, instead forcing yourself to speak.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." You return sheepishly, feeling bad for the tantrum you threw at him.

"It's fine." Satoru reassures, planting a kiss on your forehead before looking down at where the two of you are connected. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." You bite your lip sweetly, letting a little bit of your love fueled smile come through while you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer in your embrace. "I could never cum like that by myself."

Satoru leers over you like a predator now, a full smile showing through and distinctly premiering his canines, his ego was stroked, "Good thing I'm here now then."

"Mhm" You nod eagerly, matching the upturn of his lips too.

"Oh. Come here." He groans and laughs a little, a hand on your back when he flips the both of you over and litters your face with kisses. Your giggles fuel him and he pulls you closer to him.

Neither of you are going to let go again.

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/751102464296665088

*Puts on old man costume*

"Back in my day, we used to cheat and procrastinate like real people! With copious amounts of bullshitting and pulling things out of our asses at the last minute! Secretly sneaking in little things written on our hands or in our phones fer tests and shit! Heck, maybe we didn't even NEED to cheat because it turns out we actually knew stuff, we just didn't know we knew stuff until our last minute papers got a good grade anyways because our shit actually had some analytical relevance borne from deep in our psyche, but we just didn't realize it because we had massive cases of imposter syndrome where we thought everyone else was smarter than us, while overlooking our own abilities!

Now these newfangled ChatGPTs are just taking the easy way out of the easy way out! What's up with that!? These new procrastinators and cheaters make us look even worse than we already do, cuz they ain't even doing the work of not doing the work! And y'all can't even say that you can learn from it in the art of bullshittin', cuz that's not even YOUR bullshitting, it's someone else's bullshitting mangled up with hundreds of other peoples' bullshittin'!

Feh, kids these days!"

*Takes off old man costume*

Addendum: old man anon griping about cheating with ChatGPT does not endorse cheating or procrastinating. I'm just being silly.

I mean... at least with regular old-fashioned cheating, also an academic tradition since time immemorial, at least you're engaging with the material somehow. You are putting your own two god-given eyeballs on that and using your own ickle brainikins to do SOMETHING with it, even if that something is morally questionable. We've all seen the elaborate cheat devices where someone managed to engrave all the exam answers onto a pen or a pair of socks or whatever -- at least that person went in and used their initiative to remember information SOMEHOW, and to do it under their own power. Now, yes, it will get you into trouble, and yes, there are plenty of conversations to be had about accessibility and the fact that not everyone learns by sitting in a room and being lectured at and then having to regurgitate it all from memory with no notes in a final exam, which is why there is a whole thriving field of educational pedagogy and best practices and how to accommodate students with different learning styles and etc. etc. I sometimes see AI framed as "uwu accessibility issue :(" and like... cmon. There are educational professionals who spend their whole lives and careers working out how to shake up the traditional learning format and present material in an engaging way and teach students how to think and write and otherwise be academic and rigorous. And like, if you're voluntarily in this space, then we presume you WANT that instruction! Not to just sit around and whine about how we aren't catering enough to you personally and this means you should get to use the Bullshit Plagiarism Nonsense Machine to never ever think at all!

Now, I will say that the naivete around AI is not only limited to students. I was in a department meeting yesterday where the literal associate dean of the college seemed startled to discover that AI might not be a) totally reliable b) able to totally replace lesson planning and evaluation/grading by an actual human professor (after several faculty members pushed back, shall we say, briskly on the idea that it could). Plenty of people still think it can just magically solve Academia (or /insert field here), and those are not just limited to clueless undergraduates. And yes, undergraduates are clueless in different ways and for different reasons in every era of the world; it is likewise an academic rite of passage. But I still cannot for the life of me understand why you, in ye olde benighted 21st century, would pay tens of thousands of dollars and/or accrue it in debt to go to college, to learn nothing, to whine and blame your professors for "not designing assignments well" (when again, every remotely decent educational professional agonizes for eons about how to do a good job of this for all kinds of students), to insist it is your entitled right to use the Bullshit Plagiarism Nonsense Machine, and then presumably be /shocked pikachu face/ when you don't learn anything and spend your time posting idiot takes on the internet. I mean. The state of critical thinking is /waves hand/ Already So Bad, and the AI craze plays directly into that by fulfilling the insidious fantasy that the hard things in life aren't actually hard and don't have to be learned by patient and careful practice. And that is just. Yeah. C'mon.

(I realize this was a funny/lighthearted ask, but yeah, we can consider this one old man turning to another old man on the park bench and making a joke, and the other old man bellowing YOUTH THESE DAYS!!! and scaring all the pigeons and/or passersby. Ahem.)

[frankcastleonlyfans]

𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒, 𝐌.𝐐

pairing: recom!quaritch x latina!recom!reader

summary: colonel miles quaritch has a thing for the lieutenant, but he would never guess that he could perhaps be her type of man.

author's note: so i was listening to mayores by becky g and i couldn't get the idea of miles with a latina gf out of my head.

warnings: just lots of cussing

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. support your content creators 💓 please leave a comment if you like my work, and enjoy your reading.

  · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

 Colonel Miles Quaritch had a crush. He would never admit it out loud, but ever since he was human he only had eyes for you. But of course, he thought you were way out of his league, so he never tried anything. Why would a pretty thing like you bang an old man like him? And clearly, he wasn't the only one thinking about you, as Lyle hit on you every time you walked past him, and rumor has it that you had a thing going on with Lopez.

When you all came back as recombinants, Miles remembered the way his old self felt about you. His new na'vi body intensified the desires he had for you. He couldn't avoid staring at you whenever you were training at the gym or the shooting range. There was something about your presence that just wholly captured his attention. Maybe it was the way you flirted with everyone around you, or how you lightened up the mood every time you stepped into a room.

He couldn't understand how someone as sweet as you could be a marine. And how you could be such a damn good marine. He wondered if there was something you are not good at.

You walked down the hallway to the cafeteria with Walker and Zdinarsk by your side. You chuckled at one of your friends’ stupid dirty jokes as you made entrance to the room.

"Y'all are late," The Colonel stated.

"Geez, good morning, Sir." You smiled, sitting between Wainfleet and Lopez, "Hola, papi" You smiled, kissing your friend's cheek. 

"¿Qué pasa, mami?" Lopez took a sip from his cup. "Took you guys long enough. We started without you."

"Sorry we're late, we were at the gym. It turns out these new bodies have a lot of stamina." You poured yourself some black coffee, "Damn, I feel like running a marathon!"

Quaritch huffed. His dirty mind was running with ways he could get you exhausted. Clearing his throat, he uttered;

"Save yourself some of that energy, Lieutenant. Gonna need that for when we go hunt Sully down." 

You playfully shrugged and quickly took Lyle's glasses out of his head, putting them on.

"Hey!" He frowned.

"How do I look?" You questioned, turning yourself to Lopez.

"Hermosa" He smirked.

You turned around and met eyes with the person in front of you across the table.

"You think I look pretty, Coronel?" You grinned sweetly, but before Miles could answer, Wainfleet stole his glasses back from you, "Damn, Lyle!"

The corporal snickered, "Sorry, but no business with these shades, sweetheart. Try Mansk's instead."

You glanced at Mansk, who just stared at you over his glasses. He silently shook his head and you just nodded.

"What do you have for us today, Colonel?" Walker asked.

You secretly hoped that your squad would hunt Jake Sully today. Looking for a chance to show off your new abilities, your new na'vi body has made you way more flexible, agile, and stronger than you once were. And having the memories from your human life, you remember how Quaritch used to praise you every time you repeatedly shot in the center of a target, or how you easily overpowered some of the boys at training. Your Colonel's validation was a big part of your human life. Miles thought you were the best on your human team, and now you wanted him to think that you are the best as a recom as well. 

"Most of you will take the limp dicks scientists to the forest, they'll take some samples outta the plants and I need you to keep them alive. The rest can stay and have the day off." The group whined about the task of bodyguarding the scientists, "Ah-ah, you know I don't like whining, y'all sound like a bunch of pussies."

Miles sipped on his bitter coffee while his eyes traveled through the avatars at the table.

"Walker, Mansk, Ja, Lopez and Fike will go. That's an odd number. Which makes me question, which one of my girls should I send to play outside?"

Z-dog gasped, "What!? Why not one more male?"

"Still whining, Zdinarsk? Maybe I should leave Mansk out of this one and send you and Y/N with them." Quaritch smirked, "But I'm still deciding. I'll report my decision before lunchtime."

You rolled your eyes, having enough of that matter. You knew he would probably choose you since Z-dog has been out on the last task in the forest. So you finished drinking your coffee and got up from the table.

"I'm still feeling energetic as fuck, so I'll tire myself at the shooting range. I'll be back in time for the report. Adiós."

If a stare could kill, your body would be mutilated in pieces from the eyes watching you leave the room, completely hypnotized by the way your hips and tail moved from side to side as you walked to the exit door.

Miles snorted at the reactions, "Y'all could be a little subtle for once?"

"I agree, you guys are looking at her like she's a piece of meat," Lopez commented.

"Nah, you're only saying that cuz she lets you hit it." Fike teased wickedly. Lopez brushed it off;

"I ain't hitting a thing, trust me. I'm not her type and she made it very clear."

"What's her type, then? She's into gringos?" Lyle joked hopefully.

Lopez scoffed, biting on his bread, "Not exactly."

"Damn, is she into girls?" Walker questioned.

"Yeah, I've been getting that vibe from her too." Z-dog pointed out. "She said I have a nice ass while I was doing squats."

"I don't know if she likes chicas, but I do know she has a soft spot for mayores." Lopez clicked his tongue at the revelation, but everyone looked clueless to what he said, "Aye, I meant viejos. She has a thing for mature men I guess."

"So she likes 'em older, uh? Man, I really thought I had a chance with her. That's a boomer." Wainfleet tsked.

But Miles listened silently, and Lopez's words got his mind in a non-stopping wonder. As a recombinant, he was 20 years old. He had the body and the strength of a young na'vi, but he also had the knowledge and the ways of a 50-year-old man. Was he old enough to your liking? Could you feel some sort of attraction to him? Could this mean he has a shot with you?

  part 2

[picnokinesis]

My friend is running a text-based rpg campaign, and I'm absolutely in love with it, so I decided to draw a 'cover' for each day in the story. We'll see if I can do one for each day, but I'm SO proud of how these turned out so far - all of them are inked in my notebook first, and then coloured digitally. If anyone's interested in the story, I've explained more about it all under the cut!

OKAY. So the game is called City of Mists, and basically it's...kinda hard to explain, but I'd call it 'cyberpunk noir', but with a 90s technological aesthetic. Kinda like when you read Issac Asimov's books and they're using computers but it's all cassettes and film-based technology. Anyway, it's awesome. Every character has a normal life in the city - their 'logos' - but there are some characters who are called Rifts, who have something mythological manifest within them - their 'mythos'. Now, the mythos can kinda be anything, but the point is that it's a legend or story that manifests within the character, and thus gives them new abilities. And every Rift has to balance their logos and their mythos - because to delve too much into your mythos means you forget your normal life and become entirely consumed by the mythos...but to focus too much on your logos means to lose, and forget, your mythos entirely. The 'mist' of the city obscures mythological and supernatural things from those who haven't 'awakened' yet - but Rifts can see through the mist.

So, my little guy is - sighs. Okay. Y'all are gonna laugh. Please be aware that I know, okay? I know. It's fine. This is a choice I've made. But he's called Nakis Sandhu, and he's an investigative journalist (NOT with amnesia) who, when he was a kid, was involved in a train accident that killed his parents, but him and his twin sister miraculously survived. He's trans, and he has a van - he doesn't live in it, thank goodness, but it is important because his mythos is Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas (this is why he looks like Sacha Dhawan, because like....Sacha Dhawan should play Captain Nemo and I'll die on that hill). And so Nakis, when his mythos awakened, turned his van into the Nautilus - Captain Nemo's submarine - and so it now works underwater too, and can travel undetected. He also becomes like, a technological genius and can invent stuff on the fly, but he never studied engineering or anything - it just comes to him in flashes of inspiration.

Nakis' main thing is that he's trying to figure out what happened in the train crash when he was a kid. He saw something different to everyone else, because he saw through the mist - what everyone else thought was an accident was actually two Rifts duking it out (I think). One of these Rifts was a blue bull that is apparently called 'the Bull of Thunder', and the other was a man with fire based abilities - called 'The Burning Man'. On Day 2, Nakis discovered a metal case that had belonged to the Burning Man, that had been hidden for twenty years - since the day of the accident - and was full of clues, including some photographic film that needed developing. Unfortunately, seems that there's a strange filter on the photos, so it's impossible to tell what's on them...luckily, my guy made friends with a photographer on Day 1 (who I believe is another player character) whilst investigating something else, and as a result he's now passed the film on to him, in the hopes that he'll be able to clear them up.

One funny thing: Day 0 was supposed to be a 'chill' day to figure out how the game mechanics worked, and figure out what your character would do on a normal day. Nakis immediately went to investigate something and then nearly ended up drowning RIP. On Day 1, when continuing to investigate the thing from Day 0, he...got shot in the shoulder HAHAHAH but he's fine, he's doing great, he didn't bleed out in his apartment which is always a win. He also bumped into another player character by doing this - so yay!

[mylifeisjustafeverdream]

A Retelling of My Mind Whilst Reading Shadow Kissed-

Omg it's the Sixth Sense up in this bitch

Bitch when are you ever "just tired" when weird shit starts happening to you, I swear to fuck.

Rose is so me because I too would rather die than spend an extended amount of time with my best friends boyfriend.

Eddie Castile the man that you are.

From the bottom of my heart I hope Jesse gets his shit rocked.

Omg Rose girl do something, ANYTHING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US.

Least Favorite Trope: Entire plot would be resolved if this dumbass just like communicated the issues she is having OMFG.

If Rose Hathaway has no haters all her teachers must be dead because wtf is their issue???

Homegirl is unstable at best.

I feel like at this point she should probably go to where Mason the Friendly Ghost is pointing.

Girly-pop that's not a migraine....

I do not fucking trust that bitch Tatianna

*Viktor explains master plan* "Cool motive still murder"

*Law and Order sounds*

HE JUST SAID THAT SHIT IN OPEN COURT IT'S ON THE RECORD

How much of an asshole do you have to be that it's more believable that you're lying than a crime having actually happened lol

Lissa is so clueless it's kinda funny.

You know what I hope Rose fucks Adrienne and gets pregnant just to spite Tatianna.

She wants her nails done omg she's just a girl 🥺

*starts looking at my tarot book to see if this is accurate*

I love when Dimitri starts lore dropping to Rose

Well.... I think they know about the ghosts now.

That doctor is the only rational adult at the school cause literally why tf didn't she talk to a counselor.

Her therapist just clocked her so hard.

Well that's an unfortunate fact about Shadow Kissed Anna

Dimitri took part in that attack exercise specifically so she would hop on it lmao

Can't even celebrate for a moment before Lissa is off doing something dumb I swear to god

Lissa try not to get tortured challenge go

*New power unlocked*

YES ROSE BEAT HIS ASS GIRL......oh shit.....GIRL YOU GOT HIM IT'S GOOD.

She's like a feral cat.... Dimitri should use a spray bottle.

Oh my GOD IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE REMAIN FUCKING CALM

Girl you gotta give me more details than that PLEASE

"My body ached" that'll happen when your first time is with a 6'7 Russian built like a tank

CAN WE NOT HAVE ONE GOD DAMN MOMENT OF PEACE

Girl I'm gonna throw up he's all alone out there.

CHRISTIAN OZERA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

HE DIDN'T DIE THANK FUCK

Mason upstaging Dimitri even from the afterlife that's my man right there.

SECRET TUNNELS, SECRET TUNNELS THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS

The uncanny ability that 17 year old female herions have to radicalize societies is amazing

Do y'all think Dimitri came up with that life plan while he was fighting the strigoi?

"You're scared of my mother" um yea girl she's fs going to catch an attempted murder charge once she finds out.

*Clenched my jaw so tight during the cave fight it started to hurt*

Oh my God girl stop internal monologuing about how everything is going to work out THAT ALWAYS GOES POORLY

Oh God it's that blonde bitch from earlier this is going to be so much worse than him being dead.

Rose: *literally tries to throw herself back into a vicious attack just to save Dimitri's body*

Everyone Else: She just respected him as a teacher so much there's no other possible explanation.

Lissa clocking what was happening with Rose and Dimitri just now is like when someone steals the answer on Wheel of Fortune after the other contestant mispronounced the phrase

*Knows it's definitely going to happen* "Dimitri is a strigoi"*gasps*

I'm shocked they didn't grab like a single Guardian teacher to try and talk down Rose like why tf did they think Kirova would have any affect.

I know it's not malicious on Lissa's part but I'm glad Rose is finally speaking about how one sided this relationship is.

"Off to kill the man I love" oh this next book is going to fuck me up.

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep. 5 Rewatch Thoughts Part 1

(edit bc I started writing this post like 6 months ago - hi! I'm gonna finish going through the rest of the phayurain episodes of LITA finally! I've lost all sense of shame so these posts are just gonna be love letters to Eul, hope that's ok) Hi hi hi! I find it absolutely hilarious that the notes on the final part of my episode 4 rewatch post (which contains my best screenshots of That Scene) has like triple the notes of the rest of the parts. I love the thirsty LITA fam <3 I think I kept it mostly clean for the first 3 episodes but LITA brainrot is real and from here on out I'm putting down all my deranged thoughts into words so enjoy

Onwards to episode 5!! Ok so y'all should know by this point that BossNoeul sang the opening right? I added it on spotify and have listened to it on repeat so much over the last week that I could probs (badly, bc my singing voice leaves much to be desired but I can and will belt it at the top of my lungs) karaoke it now. If y'all haven't heard the full version check it out bc they rap a few bars and Noeul has this line "shake your bo- shake your bo- shake your body" that makes me lose it every time

The recap sees us revisiting some rather adorable moments from the previous episode including PhayuRain in the rain and tub. Imagine if they stuck the leg kiss in the recap >.<

We open to sunlight pouring in through the curtained windows on the morning after. I kind of wish the last episode had ended with this scene bc it would have been a soft transition after the intimacy PhayuRain shared rather than the abrupt cut to credits. But I digress.

Phayu's hair looks glorious out and I wish we'd gotten to see it like this more. In fact I think we should've seen Rain push his hands through it and grip it during episode 6's NC scene. Also the definition of that bicep? Sir pls.

I ADORE how sweet Phayu is towards Rain all the time, and this is yet another example. I love it when characters look fondly at their lover (I finally get to use that word for them!!), cover them with a blanket, and then give them a forehead kiss before sliding out of bed. SO FOND

I just think it's really attractive when people do this. Rain was really missing out by snoozing.

The state of Rain's neck and chest sends me into hysterical giggles every time. Phayu you did not have to go that hard with the marking bestie (let's be honest though, looking at the state of Phayu's neck post episode 6 they both have marking kinks) - everyone's gonna know Rain's officially yours soon enough. Also throwback to how like two months ago (or something like that idk the exact timeline) Rain was like hmph I never want anything to do with P' Phayu ever again. I didn't hear any complaining from you last night hmm??? Also I love how confident Rain was in his abilities to seduce Phayu, so true of him

I'm DECEASED

OK WAIT I think I finally get the whole yellow-blue thing. It literally is just that yellow is Rain's representative color and Phayu's is navy blue. So by making Rain put on Phayu's navy blue shirt for the "morning after" they're just reiterating that Rain belongs to Phayu now. Mystery solved :)

Obligatory shot bc he's worked hard for these gains and I think he deserves some appreciation ft. Rain who's making the same face as all of us. I think they spent like 30 whole seconds on Phayu's shoulders and that's so valid of them

Sir, do you have a good reason for striding in here shirtless and sweaty to wake your new bf up? Methinks someone was hoping for round 2

Ok, and we're back to Rain in a yellow t-shirt looking very feverish. He's holding his teal green phone (case) up though which is a combo of yellow and blue, isn't it? I'm sorry my color theory is lacking. His eyebrows look really nice here and I don't know why I noticed. I hope he has a good nap! But oops he misses calls from Phayu...

This episode's title is "the Calm Before the Storm" which implies it's gonna be a mostly tooth-rotting fluff episode and that drama is on the way next week. I'm already smiling so wide my cheeks hurt so the title is apt.

Phayu (dressed in navy blue!) is here to make sure his precious Rain is ok and Mama is already planning the wedding in her head.

The first three or four times I watched this, I was paying too much attention to their faces and probably missed a lot so let's break it down a bit. Phayu comes in, Rain's surprised and sits up, and Phayu sits down next to Rain on the bed but facing away. Phayu is slightly upset that Rain went away without saying anything and he was worried that since Rain was sick that him driving home alone was dangerous. The second Phayu sits down this way, Rain reaches out to grab his arm but Phayu pulls away. Compared to couples in other dramas, PhayuRain depend on touch a lot to communicate so obv the situation is quite serious plus Phayu is not immediately making eye contact with Rain.

The next couple of shots are just back and forth where Phayu asks why Rain left and Rain tells him what happened and apologies for worrying him. He looks v v soft and fluffy here

Gonna take a second to appreciate the background music bc it sounds so serious and doom-y right now but they're literally about to clear it all up so it was unnecessary to go that hard. Sound artist I love you

Throughout this conversation, Phayu starts far away (which for PhayuRain means there's like 1.5 meters of distance between their faces instead of 0.15 meters) but he moves closer and tilts his body more in Rain's direction as Rain gives each justification. He also lets Rain grab his arm. It's very subtle but I like the acting choices here.

Phayu, Rain is sick. Can you pls stop staring at his lips bff give him some rest (spoiler alert I counted like 5 lip-looks in the next 10 seconds, Phayu didn't hear me)

OK this hug. Exquisite. The gap has been bridged, all parties are happy again, and they both absolutely sink into each other.

Boss' little shoulder rub here is so soft and gives us more PhayuRain believability. We can see how worried he was and how relieved he is now that Rain is safely in his arms again.

Rain's cheek-smushed nod agreeing to never disappear from Phayu's side ever again is everything to me.

I don't actually think this was what I was supposed to get out of this but there's something about the symmetry of this hug and them being in the shape of a triangle and how technically their first encounter as a couple involved Phayu's triangle tool etc. etc. etc. Also headpat alert!

More subtle and soft gestures from Phayu. Rain is down bad.

HANDS!!!

We really heard the MWAH here and I want to forehead kiss whoever placed the mics

Everyone needs to observe Rain's expression right after Phayu asks this question bc it's very sus

(I couldn't get it in motion but Rain straightens up a bit and raises his eyebrows. Someone thinks they're about to get spanked like before)

Except this is not that kind of punishment and I can't believe Phayu really brought along a rectal suppository. To his credit though, I believe they're supposed to be more immediately effective than oral medicines because they absorb more directly into the body so he just wants Rain to be healthy faster. Although I wish Phayu would've not proceeded to yank Rain's pants off without permission, it's fiction and I hope if Rain had shown signs of major discomfort he would've listened. I do have to wonder if Mama put on headphones though bc Rain was really loud with his protests. I also think this must've been funny to film bc if you look closely before it cuts to Rain's mom, Rain looks like he's holding back laughter.

Uh-oh, Mama it's better if you walk away now

This sequence was actually so adorable and funny. I love purrito!Rain and Phayu is looking way too smug. Mama Rain walked out of there trying to name all the yellow and blue flowers she could for the wedding centerpieces.

omfg Phayu calling Rain's mom "Mama" is so friggin cute and I love how smoothly he just slid into son-in-law position

Rain's like excuse me I'm sick I should NOT be slandered right now

To part 2 with all the cute shots!!

[ophernelia]

Hi. Do you have any tips on how to grow your sims platforms? I keep tryig and posting and I hardly get any interactions or followers. Idk what to do. I wish bigger creators would help out smaller ones more by reposting the content so it gets more views. Its so hard starting out

Hey! Yeah, I have a few tips I can share! This is gonna be long so beware!

I keep seeing this sentiment reiterated about larger creators. I get it, but I think everyone's missing one thing in regards to it: you already have access to the same audience they have. Just like you they grew their platform. Maybe it was a stroke of luck from a viral post or something, but they still had to start somewhere. What it takes is getting your content to hit the algorithm. That's all! So even if a larger creator never looks your way, you can still grow and curate an audience without their help. Small accounts are what make up big accounts after all.

You NEED good SEO. I'll talk about TikTok specifically. If you want a boost in visibility then get on Tik Tok. Properly tagging your content is the key to working the algorithm in your favor. I think people believe the more tags the better. No. The more accurately tagged, the better. The hashtags "TS4", "The Sims", and "The Sims 4" are always trending. You should always use those tags. The rest depends on the kind of content you're posting. I'll use my most viral video as an example. My Stormveil Chateau post on Tik Tok got 141.6K views, 22.3K likes. Since it was for a maxis match build I used the following tags: #thesims4 #sims4 #ts4 #simstok #ts4cc #fyp #sim #sims4tok #sims4maxismatch #sims4build #sims4builds #ts4build #ts4gameplay. Most of the tags are related to TS4 and TS4 builds. I wouldn't include anything about CAS, mods, etc. It wouldn't fit the post. Don't flood other tags in hopes of getting more views. It'll just bury your post under a bunch of random content. People have to be able to find your content.

Visually appealing content performs better, period. Y'all give the aesthetic girls hell but they know a thing or two about working the algorithm. I'll give them that! People like things that look nice. Now, that's not to say you need to purge all the color or character from your game. You don't have to follow a certain style trend. Curate your own personal style. Do what you do to the best of your ability. Whatever you post, just make sure it's good quality. Focus on sharpness, clarity, etc. If you wanna curate a particular look then go for it! But most importantly, having clear clean images or videos is the main thing you need. And you don't need a beast of a PC to do it. Sharpen your images and videos before you upload them using Capcut or something. Make sure the lighting is nice. Make sure it's a good resolution for the platform you're posting on. A quick tip: Adding dof to lower quality images makes it look better! See how the left photo looks more clear than the right? A little bit of depth of field helps so the pictures don't fall flat.

Pick a primary social to promote your secondary ones. Usually your primary social may be the one where you have your largest audience. For me, it was Tik Tok. On there I'd promote my Patreon, YouTube, and Tumblr. You just released some cc? Post something about it on Tik Tok, let your audience know they can find it on your Tumblr. Use one to promote the others.

Slow organic growth is STILL growth. Growing your audience is one beast, but maintaining it is a whole other thing. As someone who has gotten shout outs from larger creators, that initial boost ALWAYS dies down. And socials like YouTube will not hesitate to tell you "Hey boo, your shit's failing now. You kinda suck." Been there, felt that. Boosts from other creators and giveaways don't have much longevity. Most times that audience will leave. On occasion you may get a few who stick around, but most won't. That's why it's important to build your audience organically. Yes, it may take longer but they won't just dip out after a few weeks. Things take time to grow. Things take time to curate. Understand you are BUILDING something. It takes time!

And lastly- if you just really want the numbers and it doesn't matter what content you post, then here's what you do: Sell. Still use good SEO, still try to have high quality photos, but give people something to consume. People like to see what they can get. Post some builds, cc, whatever. If you're not a cc creator, then do cc finds, mod reviews, tutorials, build recommendations, lookbooks. People love a good cc haul. They wanna see what they can get. And that's not to say people that make this sort of content don't care about their content. I know they do and it's a lot of work! It still takes time and effort to curate. It's just HOT right now! Especially maxis match content. It ruffles less feathers because a wide array of the Sims community has a vicious vendetta against alpha cc. (Yeah ion know. They will "uncanny valley" and "just play IMVU' you to death. If I say what I think it is.. My people know.) But if you really just want thousands of followers, then there's a way to do it.

With all that said, I know how annoying it is to constantly hear to not focus on numbers but don't. CREATE FOR CREATION'S SAKE. Do it only because you enjoy it. Growth for me has come as a byproduct of me doing whatever the hell I wanted. I make Lykaia because I want to make Lykaia. I love that people love it but it is for me. Not to be an influencer, or to inspire, or to receive praise and accolades. I love everything about the process. Hell, I love the stress that comes with it! I have four scenes to film and I'm still not done editing the ones I have filmed. The episode is supposed to air on MONDAY. I fucking love working down to wire. It's stressful as hell but it feels good! If it's out there, the audience will soon follow. Always. Take your time. Be grateful for where you're at every step of the way. Enjoy the process! And remember that all it takes is one post to take off.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 5 ⤍ first meeting

you sat in the car on the way to the hangout your friends have planned. you nervously played with your phone on the way there.

you weren't the best at keeping conversations going with new people so you were thankful that friends would be there to make it easier. you had a fear of embarrassing yourself, especially because there wasn't a camera, and you couldn't call it content.

this is why you only had a few select friends that you were close with. all of which happened to be more of the social type, like right now for example.

you were cut out of your thoughts by yujin hitting your shoulder making you dramatically grab it and exclaim, "my arm?!" before giving her a 'why the fuck did you do that' look.

"are you done daydreaming? we're here" yujin responded.

"you could've tapped me" you said as you grabbed your things before getting out of the car.

"i did! you just ignored me"

"maybe because i don't respond to dumbasses like you"

"you're the dumbass" yujin retorted.

"i love how my two favorite people just get along so well" wonyoung said sarcastically coming in between the two of you and wrapping her arms around the both of you as y'all continued walking.

"she started it" yujin mumbled.

"you literally tried to attack me while i was distracted"

"your fault" she shrugged in response.

you all walked into the cafe and yujin called chaewon to figure out where they were.

you looked around the cafe trying to calm yourself down and also maybe find an escape route just in case.

wonyoung noticed your nerves and tried to comfort you by rubbing her hand up and down your arm, "don't be nervous"

"my heart is beating so fast right now" you told her.

"you can hold onto me if you need to" wonyoung grabbed your hand making you instantly calm down a little bit.

"thanks"

"they're almost here, they're like two stores down" yujin said as she put her phone into her pocket.

once they made it to the cafe you all greeted each other casually, well everyone except you and kazuha. as you finally let go of wonyoung's hand to go greet kazuha sakura stopped you.

"kazuha is really excited about meeting you" sakura whispered to you with a smile on her face.

everybody stood around in a small circle surrounding you and kazuha.

"why are y'all so dramatic" you chuckled before looking at kazuha.

you smiled at her with a hint of nervousness, "hey kazuha"

"hi y/n" she greeted back awkwardly playing with her hands.

"should we hug or something? or would shaking hands be better?" you asked.

"hugging should be fine" she shrugged.

kazuha stepped closer and wrapped her arms around your neck, and you reciprocated wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

the hug didn't last as long as the two of you would have liked because eventually chaewon broke the two of you up, "okay, okay, stop flirting. let's find somewhere to sit"

once you were all settled and ordered drinks and a small dessert there was an awkward silence.

"why is nobody talking? most of us know each other" sakura said.

"so… how's the weather?" you asked awkwardly.

chaewon and yunjin immediately bust out laughing while wonyoung and sakura shook their heads.

"you two talk we'll just watch" yujin finally said once she stopped laughing.

"wouldn't that be even more awkward?" you turned to glare at her.

"we could play one of those get to know you games" wonyoung suggested.

"see an actual good suggestion, take notes yujin"

yujin rolled her eyes at you before taking the initiative to ask a question, "would you rather lose the ability to read or speak?"

"reading. i need to verbally express my displeasure" chaewon responded.

"speaking. i read too much to lose my ability to read"

"things are advanced nowadays. you could just have it read out" sakura added in.

"but it's not the same" wonyoung said.

"definitely reading as long as you can hear it'll be fine" kazuha said.

"you're right. i agree" you said after thinking about it.

wonyoung asked the next question, "would you rather lose all of your past memories or not be able to make new ones?"

"that's like very deep" chaewon said.

"lose the past. what's the point of living if you're not making new memories" sakura answered first.

"losing all the past memories would be hard though because there's nothing to look back on" yujin said.

"like even if you had it bad you have to have at least one happy moment that pushed you through it all" you said.

"but if you lose future memories then you'll be forever stuck in the past" kazuha said.

"maybe it is the future" you changed your answer after further consideration once again.

"would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?" chaewon asked.

"oh read mines for sure. imagine how cool it would be knowing what everyone thinks about me" you answered first.

"i don't wanna know what everyone thinks about me" wonyoung said and sakura agreed.

"teleporting would save so much time, the days of being late will never happen again" kazuha said.

"that is true!" you agreed changing your opinion once again, "yeah i would teleport"

"please grow a backbone y/n. you can't just change your answer because of kazuha every time" yujin told you.

"she's a strong debater and keeps convincing me otherwise" you shrugged defending your switching up.

you all did some more would you rather questions and debated on them until everybody finished their drinks and desserts.

when everybody was getting ready to leave when you were pulled to the side by kazuha who played with her hands nervously, "you wanna play a game together tonight, just the two of us?"

"oh yeah. it'll be better without them" you told her making her visibly relax.

"can i have your number so we can text later?" kazuha asked as she pulled out her phone and handed it to you.

you put your number in and handed it back to her, "i'm better at interacting with people over the phone, so it won't be as awkward"

kazuha chuckled, "we'll both be better tonight"

after the conversation, you two made it back to your groups, and everybody said their goodbyes and you took your leave with yujin and wonyoung.

"i knew it was gonna be awkward but not that awkward" wonyoung said.

"we're gonna work on it" you covered your face remembering the events that happened earlier.

"i hope so because that'll make a very bad video" yujin said.

once you made it into the car you got a text from kazuha.

"why are you smiling at your phone so hard" yujin asked you trying to take a look at it.

you quickly closed and locked your phone, turning it away from her, "nobody. i was on twitter"

"ohh you're texting kazuha" yujin laughed.

"hmm?" you faked ignorance.

"we literally just left, what could you two even be talking about?"

"none of your business" you responded.

yujin playfully rolled her eyes at you, "i'll remember that"

this took me so long to write and for what! not my best work but hope you enjoyed it!

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[savelockwoodandco]

In all honesty, I don't think Lockwood and Co will be saved. There is too little hope for me. Especially since the petition is no longer really progressing. (although I still hope for a miracle)

Hey Anon! Thanks for your honesty and for sending this in, because I'm sure there are many, many people out there who feel this way too.

First off, in case anyone is feeling guilty for not being optimistic -- there's nothing to feel guilty for. Like all Save the Show efforts, we're up against some pretty big odds, and that can be incredibly daunting. Add burnout to that, and it's easy to see how people end up there. It's why we encourage y'all to take breaks and rest -- there's nothing like unending, 24-hour-a-day efforts to make one want to throw up their hands and throw in the towel.

However, I (your humble tumblr mod) think looking at the rate of growth of the petition as evidence of Failure is taking the wrong tack.

In the first five days or so -- even up to the first week, what we saw was Exponential Growth; people who'd seen the show were finding the Organization efforts and getting involved; fans of the books who had no idea that the show had even been made were discovering, watching, and joining our ranks. The petitions blew up because no one had signed them yet. The growth was huge and rapid because, well, we were starting from zero.

Fast forward to today, two weeks + a day and a half later, and we're not seeing thousands added to our ranks every day -- because that'd be impossible. Despite what social media platforms like to say, not everyone is on social media -- in fact, vast numbers people aren't, including those who watch and love the show/books.

The petition still grows every day, which is great news -- it means that we have more people than just a one- or two-hundred die-hards. A few hundred die-hards is what every fandom has and, to be frank, it's not enough. The die-hards are the wonderful graphics makers, the video editors, the johnny-on-the-spot organizers (and, in a small way, the mods of this tumblr/twitter), and they're so, so important.

But far more important is the layman that comes in much larger numbers, watching and supporting and signing but not spending every day tweeting. Every show to do well needs a broad audience, and with our slowed but still steady growth, that's what we're demonstrating to CF, Stroud, Cornish, and the streaming networks we're reaching out to. The votes in our awards and polls shows greater numbers than just a handful of devoted fans, as does our ability to have trended for 16 days straight, as do the many, many articles that are written and are still being written about #SaveLockwoodandCo. We don't just have the core of a hundred people -- we have the layman as well, and our stats demonstrate it.

If you're worried because we're not growing exponentially, I can confidently say to not let that worry you too much. Every campaign loses exponential growth -- that's not a problem, that's just math.

We're thrilled to hear that you hope for a miracle, Anon, because hope is a very, very powerful thing. We hope for a miracle too -- in that a miracle to us would be the show immediately picked up, given an unlimited budget, and filming starts next Tuesday.

But we don't think that the show being saved is a miracle -- we don't think it's unlikely at all. These things take time, and with time very naturally comes worry and uncertainty. If we do nothing, then guilt makes a home with the worry and uncertainty, and that's not good for anyone's brain.

It may not be renewed tomorrow; it may not be for another month or three. But, as a fandom, we're passionate, creative, and invested, and we're being supported (not led, luckily, but supported) in big and small ways by the cast, crew, and creators.

If you can't muster up optimism and faith today, Anon, that's totally fine -- feel free to lean on ours, if you want. We all spend worried and anxious moments every now and again in this fight for the show -- that's not a failure; that's just life. But good things are happening every day. Eventually, those good things will spin themselves into a ball with the greatest thing of all -- the announcement of the show being saved.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine being a Young Avenger and Okoye taking you under her wing

The ride to Wakanda was going pretty well for the team until Cassie discovered you hiding out in a private compartment in the quinjet. You knew she had no issue wrestling with you to get you out, and knew it was a fight you would lose. So instead of putting up a struggle you left the comfort of your hiding spot to face the music.

Because you weren't supposed to be on this mission. The team didn't even make you aware of the mission you had to find out for Scott who let it slip. When you showed up at his house for his daughter after not finding any of the rest of the team at the hideout. You were able to catch them right before they took off, and managed to sneak your way onto the quinjet.

"Um Kate we're going to be touching down in Wakanda in like two minutes. You sure you want to have this argument with her right now" Eli said from the co-pilot seat.

"I'm actually considering to turn this jet around and dropping her back off in America" Kate threatened.

You let out a sigh throwing your head back in annoyance. "You know what I feel like I'm the only one who really has the right to be angry with here."

"Oh yeah and why is that?" the archer questioned taking a step closer to you.

"Because you we-"

"We're here guys tighten up we can do this later" Eli shouted.

You and Kate were locked into an intense staring contest that only came to an end. When Cassie placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a soft nudge. "Come on Bishop you're the one the Princess reached out to you. They're going to want to talk to you first plus you need to land the jet."

"This conservation isn't over" Kate told you before walking away to go land the jet.

Once the jet were landed in the landing zone of the giant golden palace. All of you exited the jet to be greeted by Shuri and the Dora Milaje.

"Ahhh the Young Avengers it's such a honor to have you all here especially you y/n." She said nodding a head in your direction. "I'm glad you were able to recover from your injuries in time to make this trip."

At the revelation that your team didn't just leave you in the dark about such a huge opportunity, and important mission but also went so far as to lie about your health. Added more fuel to the fire raging inside, and you shot both Cassie and Kate a glare. It was brief as you fixed your face to shake hands with Shuri, but it didn't go unnoticed by everyone. Okoye caught the brief exchanged and it peeked her curiosity. What strife could possibly be going on between you, and the rest of the team? Although it really didn't surprise her all of you were so young, around the same age as Shuri, or even younger. Of course there would be some problems amongst all of you. She just hoped whatever ongoing issues y'all had. It didn't interfere with your ability to get this mission done.

Okoye had been against the idea of calling in the Young Avengers in the first place, but the threat was an American one. Shuri wanted to use this an opportunity to not only get to know other heroes, but to build a relationship with the team. Just in case somewhere in the near future the Wakanda needed them. After all even T'Challa had a personal connection with the Avengers before they disbanded, and could call upon any of them for help if he needed to.

A member of the Dora Milaje took all of you to your respective quarters within the palace. Where everything you needed was waiting for you, and the rooms were all on the same hall. Making it easy for you to find each other when it came time to have team meeting for the upcoming mission. A meeting that turned into a shouting match after Cassie made it clear. She didn't think it was a good idea to let you participate in the mission at all.

"I can't believe you three this is complete bull" You yelled.

"You weren't even supposed to be here y/n just be lucky that-" Cassie started to yell back until you cut her off.

"Oh yeah about that what the hell is up with you guys trying to leave me behind?" You asked directing the question at all of them.

Eli shot Kate a look of desperation knowing she was the only one who could calm the two of you down. Kate was leaning up against the wall in the corner of the room with her arms crossed over her chest. She figured it was best to let you and Cassie hash it out now rather than later. But you and her were getting fairly loud with each other, and the last thing she wanted was to draw attention from the guard.

"Okay guys let's take it down a notch" Kate ordered taking a step forward.

You whirled on her "answer my question then."

"We figured after the last mission it was best to just have you sit this one out" She explained.

Your angry expression twisted into one as confusion as you started to recount the events of the last mission. Trying to figure out what you could've possibly done that was so bad to warrant such a punishment. Kate could see your reaction coming from a mile away, and wanted to keep you calm. "Y/N just hear us out."

But it was too late once it truly hit you looked away partially hurt more than angry now. You turned around yanking the door open with your telekinesis, and left. Kate and Cassie were right behind you.

"Are you guys serious I did nothing wrong on the last mission" You growled.

"Yes you did you disobeyed a direct order and left those open and vulnerable to attack" Cassie argued.

You paused just at the end of the hall. "I saw the bad guy making a run for it, and none of you were answering me through comms. So I took a risk and it paid off. The big bad was caught and walked away in handcuffs so I don't see the problem."

"The problem was we had a plan that we all agreed to stick to, and you abandoned it like you always do to lone wolf it. Those kids could've gotten hurt y/n" Kate said.

"But they didn't" You pointed out.

"That's not the point you not listening orders is a recurring problem y/n, and it's getting old" Cassie shouted.

"Well I'm sorry who died and made you leader Cas," You said holding up your hands. "Oh wait that's right this team doesn't actually have a real leader, because we haven't picked one yet. Which means neither of you are in a position to give out orders."

"That doesn't change the fact that we're still a team y/n, and it's important that we operate as one. Something you can't really seem to do every time we come up with a plan and agree to it. At some point you decide you know what's best and go off to do your own thing without consulting us. It's getting tiresome" Kate exclaimed her voice slowly raising in volume until she was shouting.

You flinched in the harshness of tone and didn't reply immediately this time. Instead your eyes glanced back and forth between your two teammates. At some point they settled on Eli who had came out of the room to put a stop to the argument knowing how bad these things could get. When all three of you were this heated. "Do you have anything you want to add?"

"We just felt like maybe you needed to take a chill pill for a while. You know sit a few missions out we were planning on talking to you about it, but this mission came up so fast. So we didn't have time" Eli said with a small shrug.

"So you were just going to leave me behind that's not exactly something. A real team would do to their teammate you know" You replied unable to hide the hurt in your voice.

"Y/N we know and we're sorry just come back in the room so we can go over the plan for mission in two days. We can talk when we get back home" Kate pleaded.

You let out a humorless chuckle at her response. "Oh come on what's the point? Its not like I know how to listen anyway I have a better idea. How about I make this my last mission as a Young Avenger?"

Cassie frowned her face shrouded with genuine concern. She took a step toward you with her hands held out in front of her. "Wait a second y/n no is say-"

You cut her off with a glare. "I don't care anymore this isn't the first time you guys have done this to me, and if this has been the problem the whole time. You could've came to me about it, but you didn't all of you just plotted behind my back time and time again. I mean my teamwork skills must really suck even Tony Stark was able to follow orders eventually right, and that man was allergic to teamwork. If I'm worse than that then obviously I don't belong here, so this is it. After this mission none of you will have to worry about me anymore. Once we get back home lose my number, and forget about my existence because I'm done." Your tone was cold and hard making it clear you weren't joking.

You turned to leave with tears glistening in your eyes.

"Y/N wait please don't do this" Kate cried out reaching out for your hand.

"No Katie because I expected more from you at least." You shouted "you know what hurts the most I never freaking wanted this. I was fine on my own living my normal life. Then you guys came along bringing your mess to my neighborhood, and I had to use my powers to save a woman and a child. Then you and Cassie tracked me down and practically begged me to be join the team. You guys told me I would make a great addition, and that we would be like family. Some family we turned out to be."

Neither of them could gather up the courage to even look at you. As you reminded them of how you came to join the team.

Finally you whirled around and disappeared around the corner without being stopped this time. You jumped back at the sight of the General of the Dora Milaje eye meeting yours. She was standing up against the wall just out of sight. How long had she been there? Did she hear anything of what just went down? You stared at her for a few moments when her eyes softened. You knew for sure she had heard everything, and not wanting any sympathy. You took off down the hallway not really caring where you were headed.

Unable to sleep after the argument filled with so much pain and rage. You found a training room about the size of the whole Compound itself filled with various equipment. Combat wasn't your specialty so you really didn't spend much time with weapons or dummies. But tonight was the exception you decided to just go with the punching bag throwing as many punches. You could muster not paying attention to the growing pain in your hands, or the blood seeping from your knuckles. You were brought out of your trance when someone nudged your left foot farther away from your right one.

"Your form is all wrong child" a familiar voice said from behind. Before you could turn around Okoye walked in front of you revealing her presence.

"Thanks I never really paid attention to my fighting stance." You told her looking away.

"You aren't much of a fighter are you" She said. It was a statement not a question.

"Not at all actually I kinda just rely on my powers you know." You said suddenly a bit more self-conscious about your lack of combat skills.

"What exactly is your power?"

"Telekinesis."

"What happens if a day comes where you can't rely on your powers" Okoye said circling around you.

"That's where my team would come they usually have my back, and protect my blindsides. All of them are phenomenal fighters." You said eyes following her.

"But your teamwork and following orders isn't your strong suit yet you rely on them to protection. If you need it" she criticized.

"I rely on them to have my back just because I run off on my own a few times doesn't mean I can't work in a team. I can't help that I'm little too brave for my own good sometimes." You defended yourself.

"What you call brave they call reckless and impatient." she shot back.

"Okay so what alright I grew up on the streets fending for myself. Everything I have I got it on my own no family or friends to help me out. So yeah teamwork or trusting others to get the job done isn't my strong suit. But you know what I got heart, I fight for what I believe in, and I'll protect the people I care about with everything in me. I thought all of that would count for something, and make me a decent hero." You paused to look away as you felt your emotions taking over again. After taking a deep breath you went on "I guess I was wrong though."

Okoye watched as you left with a thoughtful look on her face.

It didn't take long for her to track down another member of the Young Avengers, and it was probably a good thing the mission wasn't going for another day. Because it seemed the growing conflict had all of you restless. Kate was outside shooting arrows at a few target boards that Shuri had installed specifically for her. She didn't hear the General approaching at all. So when she turned to get another arrow only to find Okoye blocking her hand. She let out a yelp jumping back in surprise.

"Geez don't do that" she complained with a hand on her chest.

"Does y/n not have a mentor to guide her in this way of life?" She asked.

"Um no not really" Kate answered slightly confused as to why she wanted to know.

"Who mentors you three?"

"I have Clint, Cassie has her dad Scott, and Eli has Sam."

"Can none of them take her under their wing?" Okoye pushed even more.

Kate rubbed the back of her neck nervously as she answered. "No offense but Clint didn't even want to train me. I kinda didn't give him a choice. Cassie got off easy considering her dad was an Avenger who has connections to the Pyms who were basically family to her. Their bond made it like a fun bonding experience. Sam just wanted to keep Eli out of trouble and out of the government’s hands. They agreed to leave him alone as long as Sam is overseeing him. The only viable option for y/n with her powers would've been Wanda, but apparently she went off the the deep end, and nearly destroyed our universe. Now no one knows rather or she's dead or just in hiding."

Okoye nodded along pondering her explanation as she turned around to leave.

Kate spoke up again "she could be a great hero you know. But she needs some discipline heck we all do. Which is why I try to provide her with some every now and then. But she's stubborn and our age gap isn't big enough to get her to listen to me. I'm still learning the ropes myself."

"I think I may have a solution let me see how the mission goes" Okoye told her then walked away.

A Day Later

Kate caught you by the arm her grip firm, and impossible for you to break free from. With no other choice you turned back to look at her a bit thrown off. By the worried expression on her face. "What's up?"

"Hey stay behind enemy lines okay just provide support from a safe distance."

You let out a exasperated sigh. "Sure almighty leader." Her grip on your arm tightened until it became painful. You winced "easy Kate I got you."

"No I'm serious y/n these guys have a lot of weapons and can probably kick your ass" she demanded.

"You know sometimes I think you guys forget I can move things with my mind" You told her.

"I don't care your situational awareness kinda of sucks y/n. You have a bad habit of only focusing on the enemies in front of you. They get you somewhere alone, and we're not there to watch have your back. You could be in real danger I don't want or need that on my conscious. You die out here I will spend the rest of my life blaming myself and thinking I should've just left you alone a year ago. Don't put me through that y/n please." Kate pleaded with you sounding more sincere than you'd ever heard her.

You could tell the fear was real which meant this mission had to be some next level stuff. You gave her a firm nod determined to prove to her and the team that you could listen this time.

And you did listen for the whole first thirty minutes of the mission. You stayed at the rendezvous point ripping away any weapons in the enemy soldiers's hands. Whenever they were within range you threw waves of telekinetic energy throwing them to the ground as well. Kate, Cassie and Eli pushed forward until eventually they were out of sight and earshot of you. So when a couple of gunmen made off into the woods to escape with a little girl thrown over one of their shoulders. You panicked and did what you always did and followed them into the thick brush.

You threw out a hand releasing a blast of invisible energy that struck one of them in the back. He flew to the ground face-first and was knocked unconscious. Two more whirled around to fire off multiple rounds you stopped the bullets in midair with a smirk. "Really how dumb can you guys be?" It was then a hard metal object was slammed into the back of your head. The impact sent you to your knees with your vision blurring. Your head was spinning but still you managed to send your assailant flying back into a tree.

Then there was the familiar sound of a click of a gun your eyes snapped in that direction. One of the gunmen had their gun trained on the little girl.

"No don't" You cried out throwing out a hand.

A golden spear flew out of the darkness of the woods knocking the gun from his hands. The gunman turned around but was too slow to catch her. Okoye leapt out of the shadows slamming her fist into his jaw. The man fell to the ground knocked out cold. She rolled dodging all of the other bullets flying her way. Pulling her spear out of the tree it was embedded in Okoye turned around spinning it in a whirlwind deflecting any incoming bullets.

At first you watched the way she moved in awe at how graceful and skilled she was. But the whimpers of the little girl brought you back down to Earth you crawled over and shielded the little girl under your own body. The sound of pained grunts filled the air and a few seconds later Okoye rested her hand on your shoulder. You glanced back slightly embarrassed that you needed rescuing yourself. But there was no look of judgement on her face just focused. "Go get the girl back to her ship I got this."

You listened without hesitation scooping the little girl up in your arms and running off to the jet. The rest of the mission went off without a hitch and when your team returned. None of the knew of your encounter with Okoye from the looks of it. Which you did find a bit odd, but nevertheless stayed quiet about it.

Kate took a seat beside you on the ride back with a happy smile. "Thanks for following orders this time."

"Yeah I mean its the least I could do considering its my last mission and all." You said trying to play it off.

Kate looked as if she wanted to say something, but in the end decided against it. She rested her head on your shoulder and napped for the remainder of the ride.

Once the team was back at the palace congratulations were in order. Instead of spending the next two hours writing up a mission report. Shuri had a feast prepared for y'all to enjoy along with drinks and entertainment. After a few hours of fun all of you were dead tired and slipped off to your rooms for so much needed sleep.

When the next morning came you were the last one to wake, and didn't find any of your teammates in their rooms. You figured that they were off packing up for the trip back home. It made sense to let you sleep in considering how obvious it was. Your decision to still leave the team was upsetting everyone, but you refused to be disappointed anymore. The first person you did run into in the dining hall was Okoye.

She was staring outside the giant windows with her back to you, but could still since your presence somehow.

"You didn't tell my team what I did I know I should be thanking you, but why didn't you?" You asked in confusion. The General seemed like stickler for the rules.

"If I had told your team the truth you would have no future with them" she answered without turning around.

"I already have no future with them I'm still leaving" you told her taking a seat.

"Is that really what you want?"

You shrugged. "It doesn't matter what I want I'm not cut out for this life so I'm done."

"That's not what I asked you" she shot back

"Like I said it does-"

Okoye turned around to fix you with a stern glaze. "Don't make me repeat myself y/n."

"No I would like too keep trying."

Okoye held up a hand to silence you. "Good then I will give you two options then. One you can go with your team back to America, and quit the Young Avengers if you want. Or you could choose the second option I will take you under my wing and mentor you if you stay. I will provide you with the discipline and guidance that you need to make you a better hero. I will turn you into more than a decent fighter, and show you how to work with a team. When you're done you can either stay here in Wakanda or return home to be with the Young Avengers. It would be entirely up to you."

Her offer caught you off guard and nearly brought tears to your eyes. No one had ever offered to mentor you at anything at all in life. So your guard was still up. "Why would you do that for me? What do you want in return?"

Okoye walked over and crouched down in front of you to make eye contact. "Because you have heart and what it takes to truly make a difference in the world. It would be a shame to let such a talent go to waste or let you give up on yourself. Now what will it be?"

"I guess you're my new mentor" You told her with a sheepish smile.

"Good then go to Shuri's lab right away your team is there waiting for you. Say your goodbyes then retrieve your training equipment from the Princess your training starts tomorrow" Okoye ordered.

Once again without argument you listened to her leaving without a single protest. It was when you were gone Kate came out from behind a corner "thank you for this."

Okoye gave her a nod. "Everyone deserves a honest chance in life. Y/N never had a real one so I'm happy to give it to her.

"She's going to drive you crazy you know that right" Kate chuckled.

A smirk fell upon Okoye's face at that. "Oh no worries I have something planned for that rebellious streak in her."

[wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever]

Everyone talks like you either believe in redemption or you don't when it comes to villain redemption critiques. But the the thing is as a Christian who believes in redemption for all, I still have a lot against the way villain redemption is treated these days, and it has a lot to do with how redemption is treated biblically vs how everyone likes this gray hero thing. And yeah, I know y'all are going to point out my love of anti-heroes, and we will get back to that. But basically, what I dislike is when we got this villain, they don't change how they act, they feel no remorse for their past actions, but "hey they're on our side now! so it's all good! :D" In christianity that is called a wolf in sheeps clothing, we are told not to even eat with such a one. We are evil wretched and poor yes, but redemption isn't an excuse to keep being evil, it is a call to "go and sin no more". So if your villain doesn't repent and at least try to live more like a hero than a villain, then I am not going to call that a redeemed villain, I am going to say our heroes have no back bone, and now question their morality, and their ability to fight for justice, because they have none within themselves. So now why do I like the anti-heroes and redeemed villains I do? So lets start with an anti-hero like Jason Todd, why he works is that his whole deal is about this exact conscept, he can not stand that certain individuals keep getting let back into the public because they "are bettering themselves" when they so obviously have not, there are "whole graveyards" of proof that they are not. The question is not about the righteousness of Jason's goal but in whether he is going too far in thinking the only way to remove these criminals is through death/manipulation. It's an important thing to ponder whether you can take justice too far, and judge that within yourself. A good anti-hero does that, raise questions on what is good and what is evil, and where we aught to draw the line, and where the line is already drawn, but maybe is taking things too far. Then we have redeemed villains, I going to use the over used and use Zuko as my redeemed villain. Where I feel people get his arc wrong is in saying that the show, showed him as "having goodness already inside him" when that isn't really accurate, what it does do, is start him out as already questioning good and evil, honorable and dishonorable. Yes we see parts of his childhood where he appears "innocent" but I feel that is a missreading of those scenes, where I would say that what we are seeing is him ruminating on both the justice and injustice he'd witnessed in his life and making or trying to make a decision about who is right in them. That is key to us coming round to him being a hero, that is him learning remorse. Then lastly is his actions in the last half of season three, from the moment he leaves the palace onward, everything he does is the opposite of what season one him would do, he trains the avatar so the fire nation can not have him, brings justice for the water tribe as best as he can, and lastly goes absolutely feral when he thinks that the gaang is just going to let the fire nation win/the Earth Kingdom be destroyed. He proves with his whole being season one him/villain him is dead, and the person he is now is someone completely different, he is redeemed. If you want me to be okay with your villain working with your heroes do that, truly redeem them, don't just make them sexy.