#wife guy extraordinaire

[therighthandofvengeance]

I think I found my new favorite adjective for John J. Sheridan:

[sunshine-jesse]

Control: The Strange Dynamics of Andy and Leyley or

The Incest End Is Not The Fucking Bad End, Stop Coping

EDIT:

Hey guys! This post is blowing the fuck up, but this was my first essay on this game, and I think I've had many more insightful things to say since then. Here's a link to a masterpost with all of my essays, which I'd definitely suggest reading after this one:

Anyways, without further adieu...

I heard a lot about this game going in. I knew the general story beats and the funny haha incest memes. I knew it was about a toxic codependent relationship where Ashley, the sister, acted like your standard overly-controlling person who used various abuse techniques to keep someone in line. I expected Ashley to be a yandere-type character where she was borderline psychotic, irrational, and had a skewed perception of reality. I expected her to be a crazy bitch, and I love me some crazy bitches.

But then I actually played through the game. ...That is not what I got.

The game advertises Andrew as a doormat extraordinaire who is strung along by his Very Not Good sister and has no agency of his own' that he's just a henpecked abuse victim. But in practice, that doesn't seem to be the case. One of their first exchanges that in the story is when the occultist played his music and Ashley wanted them to check it out. He says 'no', sure, but then he smirks and says 'but I'll come along if you do.'

That is not the dialogue of someone who has no will of their own, that's the dialogue of someone who willingly gives up their own agency.

This is not, on its own, a sign of anything out of the ordinary. What caught my attention with it, though, is how it flew in the face of the common narrative surrounding their relationship dynamic. But that's not the first time I noticed it, it's just the first time, in retrospect, that their actual dynamic begins to show. The first time I personally noticed it is in the choking scene.

There are a lot of ways to view this situation. But my own reading? This was not a crime of passion. This was not him trying to break free. This is him doing something he's thought about for a while. This is premeditated. In this scene, Andrew is done playing along with Ashley's shit. In this scene, I firmly believe Ashley is the victim.

Ashley is the more openly abusive of the two who seeks to do whatever she can to trap Andrew so he'll never leave her. That much is clear. But Andrew-

-clearly has these same tendencies. He says this shortly after Ashley mentions putting her name up on a call girl's wall for money. There's protective brotherly instincts, and then there's this. This is not something you'd threaten a sister with, this is something that a man would threaten his wife with, which is directly brought attention to in the story.

(hey look he accepts the framing of it being WIFE beating at face value, and says Ashley is the only one who makes him like that! HMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES???)

It also implies that this is not the first time physical force has been threatened! I mean, that much is obvious, because of the choking scene that happened before, but I more mean that this implies that Andrew either threatening or utilizing physical force is an established pattern of behavior. However, the Decay route implies that she never thought Andy would kill her (but Andrew would) which can either be for or against depending on one's perspective, so I don't hold to the idea that it's an established pattern too strongly.

Okay, so. Andrew has some controlling and possessive tendencies too. So what? Their relationship is codependent. It's advertised as such. What of it?

Well first of all, it pretty much blows the lid off of the idea that Ashley is the sole perpetrator of abuse in their relationship. I've seen a lot of people view Andrew's behavior as justified retaliation against abuse, but frankly, I don't believe that him threatening to strangle Ashley for violating boundaries by trying to hold him accountable for his actions (given the strangulation part happens after she brought up Nina's death and how Andrew was ultimately responsible) is justified. And I ESPECIALLY don't believe that him threatening to backhand Ashley for her transactional attitude towards sex is justified in ANY circumstance.

EDIT: This part was edited in from the original post for the sake of readability so they don't have to see the reblogs to see the updated version! This post gained more traction than I was expecting!

…But perhaps even more telling is what she DOESN'T do.

Pushing someone's boundaries until they lash out is a pretty common tactic in abusive relationships. It's easy to see why, too: It justifies prior behavior and paints them in a negative light to others. This can be an important aspect of using DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) against someone, although the two ideas aren't necessarily linked.

It's pretty easy to argue that this is what Ashley does, but if you look at the one time her boundary pushing DID go too far, when Andrew lashes out with physical violence… she doesn't do that. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't paint herself as the victim. She doesn't even try to give a reason as to why she shouldn't be killed outside of the comfort she gives him. Why is this notable?

Because the mom does, in fact, engage in what could be considered DARVO against Ashley:

(i will elaborate more on this screenshot in particular below)

Ashley is directly compared to Mrs. Graves by Andrew, and yet she crucially displays none of the habits that Mrs. Graves does. Mrs. Graves lays the blame on Ashley, but Ashley doesn't lay the blame on Andrew. Mrs. Graves tends to paint herself as the victim of Ashley, but Ashley does no such thing to Andrew. The mom denies her culpability at every turn; Ashley doesn't. Ashley tries to hold Andrew accountable for his role in Nina's death, which could be considered a kind of DARVO. But she never denies that she had a role to play in it. She just mentions that he was the one who pulled the trigger. And he was.

(and the point was more that she DIDN'T engage in it when threatened with physical violence; the perfect chance to)

In Mrs. Graves' mind, she is the victim of either Ashley, or society as a whole. In Ashley's mind, she knows what she is, what she does, and what she's about. The only thing she's oblivious to- or doesn't acknowledge, at least- is the threat Andrew poses to her. In her mind, she's the bad guy. In Andrew's mind, Ashley is the bad guy. In official art, she is the bad guy:

And yet, in the game itself, Andrew is the one holding the cleaver. Not her. Hm.

Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat. She allows people to mask their own worst habits and pretend they're better people than they are. She accepts this role. She embraces it. She doesn't try to deny it. But when that mask slips, people lash out at her. Both Mrs. Graves and Andy (NOT Andrew, crucially) predicate much of their self-perception on being what she's not.

But they're the ones who enabled her to become like this, every step of the way.

And that's what blew my fucking mind, and made me question just who the victim really is. She was never given a chance to be normal, because other people relied on her NOT being normal.

By the end of my second playthrough, I felt worse for Ashley than I did for Andrew, and I still do.

So. What am I getting at? What does this show me about the relationship between Ashley and Andrew?

(I also wanted to point out that Andrew does engage in DARVO too but I didn't want to distract from the behavior of the mother. Unlike what Andrew does, it doesn't require someone to reassess the narrative they have towards the game in order to realize the implications of it, whereas it's pretty easy to justify Andrew's words as not qualifying as DARVO if you buy into the narrative that he's the sole victim and/or that Ashley is the main perpetrator of abuse. A friend of mine pointed out that it's a pretty key part of the push/pull dynamic they have, and I completely agree.

However, the direct comparisons to the behavior of the mother can't be ignored no matter your narrative, so I felt as if I needed to highlight that more.)

EDIT OVER

It shows me that their relationship is all about control.

Specifically, the push and pull of who controls who in any given situation.

Andrew weaponizes his incompetence. He always looks to lay the blame on Ashley. This is drawn attention to several times, and said explicitly in the Decay route.

He is always surrendering control to her, and yet he never HAS to. He could always just say no. He could always refuse. What are the consequences? Her being upset? Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy. That's not how abuse dynamics work. He probably feels like he has to, or rather, feels like there's no other option. That he's in too deep, and stuck with her no matter what. But personally, I think it's pretty clear from his willingness to surrender control to Ashley that he still feels like he has it at points, because the moment he feels like he's about to lose it, he either considers violence, even as a child-

(the actual scene of slicing her finger is pretty sus too with this reading in mind)

-or resorts to it, outright, in both the choking scene and the vision in the Decay ending... when Ashley doesn't have enough bullets to defend herself (this will be important later!).

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE??? AM I JUST MAKING ABUSE APOLOGIA (the answer may surprise you)?

No. I don't think so.

Ashley is obviously very bad. She's controlling and uses pretty textbook abuse and entrapment tactics on Andrew whereas everything he does to her is inference, with Ashley too daft to realize just how much danger she's in until the vision in the Decay ending spells it out for her- and I don't know if a true abuse dynamic allows for one to be completely unaware of the consequences of breaking free. She could just let go of her desire for control and Andrew would be a much happier person.

And that's the point, because so would she.

I bring up control because that push and pull- that desire for control over each other- is exactly what's tearing their relationship apart, and this effect most obviously manifests in the two endings of episode 2. In the Decay ending, Ashley either tries to exert control over Andrew due to a lack of trust, or Andrew allows his feelings of entrapment to truly take root in his mind and guide his actions. In the Decay ending, Andrew becomes a true doormat with no will of his own, allowing his feelings of bitterness and resentment to fester and grow, eventually resulting in their deaths.

In the Burial ending, Andrew does the exact opposite. He takes control of the situation and does exactly what Ashley would do without much of a fuss. This eventually culminates in THAT scene (assuming you take the Questionable route), where his facial expression alone speaks volumes:

Look at how fucking confident this man is. This is not the face of someone who's unsure of himself; this is the face of someone who knows exactly what he wants and takes it. He is absolutely in control of this situation, and everyone is happier for it.

And what does Ashley have to do to get this ending?

Let's go back to Decay for a moment. If Ashley has bullets in her gun, she has control over the situation. She, at any point, could put an end to Andrew and survive. And yet, at the very end of it all, she could choose not to. She could choose to surrender control to Andrew, allowing herself to die. And that ending, I believe so much of his life and willpower will have decayed that there's nothing left for him to take control of, leaving him no choice- or rather, no use for the control he now has- but to die with her.

And in the Burial ending, she has to let him out of his cage before it's too late. She has to surrender control to him, and when she does-

-He will become everything she ever needed him to be.

It's all about her surrendering control, and it's all about him taking control. Because, no matter what, as long as that happens... the two of them will be together forever.

In life...

...or in death.

How romantic.

So no, the incest end is not the fucking bad end. They're going to be together forever in the end either way, so they might as well live through it.

[eyeballsoup7310]

Hold on guys I’m havign a thought

So Orpheus is definitely pretending a bit in the album, right? In the fictions he’s an absolute bastard. Pretentious. In the album he’s a sweet young man that just wants his true love returned to him. Orpheus wants his wife back, yes, but I think his secondary want is to be unique. In the fictions he says he doesn’t want to get a job as a music instructor because he doesn’t want anyone else to have the same skills as him. He wears a pinstripe suit because he thinks none of the other suits will wear one. The other suits are angry— he tries to be soft. To put it shortly, Orpheus is a character that pretends.

AND HES VOICED BY THE GODDAMN TOY SOLDIER. PRETENDER EXTRAORDINAIRE

[fanghuas]

TOP 5 FICTIONAL UNHINGED WOMEN THAT HAVE U CLAW AT THE WALLS

5. Su Daji / Creation of the Gods I

She's in the last spot because, while many things she does might appear unhinged to us, the viewers, they are perfectly rational from her own perspective. On the other hand, brother does she ever have me clawing at the walls 😳

4. Du Pusa / Word of Honor

She's a mean scary assassin lady. Every time she's on screen next to another woman things become 90% more homoerotic. And she wears this outfit.

3. Qiu Congxue / Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know

No picture sadly but my homegirl is a skeleton. She gets unskeletoned once, is extremely pissed about it, and works to lose all the flesh in her body again as quickly as possible.

2. Shu Yanyan / Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know

Sexual cultivation extraordinaire. Needs enrichment in her enclosure or she starts plotting. Badly. Tells the "female lead" to kill the guy she's in love him and date his reincarnation when he grows up. No one's doing it like her.

1. Jiao Liqiao / Mysterious Lotus Casebook

My wife. My deranged little rabbit. My goodtime girl. My Jiao-jie. I support women's wrongs. She should have done more crimes 💖

[helix-studios117]

Halo Reloaded: Anesthesia

Inside the dimly lit confines of the barracks, the usual quiet was punctuated by John's uneven footsteps. He was a hulking figure, even unarmored, his broad shoulders slightly hunched as he navigated through the maze of bunks and lockers under the influence of heavy anesthesia. His movements were clumsy, a rare sight for the Spartan normally defined by precision and control.

"John, maybe you should be resting," suggested a voice, both amused and concerned, as he approached Linda-058's quarters. Linda, sniper-extraordinaire and his partner not just in countless battles, sat on the edge of her bed, cleaning her rifle. She watched him with a faint smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling in a way they did only for him.

"Rest? No... need wife," John grunted, his usual eloquence smothered under the fog of drugs. He leaned against the frame of her doorway, one hand bracing against the wall to steady himself.

Linda set her rifle aside, her smile widening. "Your 'wife' thinks you might be better off in the med bay, John."

He stumbled forward, closing the gap between them, his large hand reaching out to gently tap her shoulder. "Wife... come. Help. Walk."

She chuckled softly, standing to meet him. "Alright, let's get you back to bed, big guy." She slipped one arm around his waist, her body barely reaching his chest. Together, they shuffled forward, John leaning heavily on her slighter frame."

"See? Good. Wife helps," John mumbled, his head lolling slightly as they moved.Linda shook her head, the affection in her eyes betraying her teasing tone. "Yes, and tomorrow you're going to hear all about how the invincible Master Chief needed his 'wife' to help him walk ten feet."

[actualbird]

i just know peanut is building the most beautiful and perfect best for when his girlfriend lays the eggs and luke pearce is going to promptly freak out that his bird son got some action and now he has grandkids

1 ) YES, PEANUT WLD SPOIL HIS BIRD GIRLFRIEND TO THE MAX, both because hes a very good bird and also because. think about it. the two guys peanut knows The Most is luke pearce (tenderness and yearning extraordinaire) and aaron yishmir (professional Wife Guy). peanut knows that his main job as a partner is to shower his bird beloved in affection and all the trinkets she could possibly want

2 ) SCREAM.

[nxx group chat, 4am]

luke: HELP???? IM A GRANDFATHER????

luke: IDK IF IM READY FOR THIS KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY

artem: why are you awake

mc: HUH???

marius: SINCE WHEN DID U HAVE CHILDREN, MUCH LESS GRAND ONES?????

vyn: [not present, as it is too early and his phone notifs are switched off from 10pm to 9am]

luke: //sends picture of peanut and bird girlfriend and new eggs

mc: OHHHHHH

mc: my god, talk abt giving me a heartattack

marius: those. are Eggs

luke: EGGS THAT MY SON SIRED

marius: ur BIRDSON

mc: congrats!!!! have u thought of names?

luke: of course ive thought of names im thinking more nuts, cashew, pecan, and almond

marius: bro ur missing the golden oppurtunity to name one of them jelly

marius: peanut. jelly. Please.

mc: jelly is already what luke decided to call peanut's gf!!!

marius: HELL YEAH

luke: RIGHT? HELL YEAH

artem: werent you just anxious 3 minutes ago?

luke: fuck. right. i forgot

mc: nnNNOOO ARTEM WHY DID U REMIND HIM

luke: IM NOT READY TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-babygirl-polls]

Roland - Library of Ruina

Propaganda:

Wife Guy Extraordinaire. Gets dissed by a blonde teenage girl every time he speaks to her. Used to be a kickass mercenary dude but after his wife died he had a Moment™ and got demoted to the lowest rank. Got isekai'd into a magic library while looking for a sandwich, immediately got dismembered by the head librarian, and then ended up working for her and becoming besties with her. He is my babygirl, my sopping wet cat, my squishy rubber toy of a man. I love him.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Do you know of any fics where Blaine is in danger?

Wow - that's quite a wide ask. It depends on what sort of danger! There's all the tabs for abused!Blaine; orphan!Blaine; kidnapped!blaine; dark!Blaine, badboy!Blaine or just danger as he's a solider; police or fireman; or famous! Or just the canon, where he's beaten up or in danger from racial abuse or homophobes. Here are some to start!

Lost Boy by myownpatronus 

On September 20, 1999, Pam and James Anderson’s world was shattered when their youngest son, Blaine, was abducted from a local park. Twelve years later, after pain, healing, and tireless searching, the family is reunited in a most unexpected way. But the boy who comes home to them isn’t the same one they lost so long ago. Each member of the Anderson family has to learn to change and grow together as a lost boy is found once more.

~~~~~

Unfound Family by @tonks42

After years in foster care, finding himself moving in with a new family has become all too frequent of a routine for Blaine. But in the aftermath of an attack at a school dance, Blaine finds himself living with a family that’s like nothing he’s experienced before. Life at the Berry’s home is a whole new world. Despite his struggles at McKinley and having to learn to live with Rachel, he doesn’t want to move on, especially considering the new friendship he’s forming with Kurt and the glee club everyone keeps trying to convince him to join.

~~~~~

The Warbler by TheWhiteOwl

Kurt is a famous actor and singer who gets threatening messages and phone calls. One night his house is attacked and his manager suggests him to hire a bodyguard… Or better a whole team, the Warblers. Things just turn more complicated when Kurt finds out that the Warblers’ leader is none other than Blaine Anderson, his former one-night stand.

Note: Part 1 of the The Warbler series

~~~~~

Westerville Abbey by @hkvoyage

Blaine is the second son of the earl of Westerville, and is considered the spare heir. After his 18th birthday, he attends the London Season to fulfill his duty of finding a wife. He soon realizes he is more attracted to the new footman. Kurt, who has just arrived at Westerville Abbey to work alongside his father, becomes equally as smitten with the earl’s youngest son. Will Blaine and Kurt be able to overcome their class differences in 1910s England? Will their forbidden love survive WW1? A Downton Abbey inspired historical Klaine AU.

Note:  Part 1 of Westerville Abbey series

~~~~~

Go Your Own Way by zavocado

Kurt Hummel just wants to get through his Junior Year at McKinley in one piece. But when the new guy from Dalton Academy Reform School for Boys takes an alarming interest in him, he’s certain he’s going to be in for a wild ride. Badboy!Blaine, Klaine, AU

~~~~~

Worthless/Priceless by captain pihkal and @anxioussquirrel

Kurt buys a beaten and abused Blaine at a slave market and helps him get better.

~~~~~

Catch me if you can By afterthenovels

In the end, catching Kurt Hummel is definitely not what Blaine expected.

Special Agent Blaine Anderson catches con-man and art thief extraordinaire Kurt Hummel twice, and on the second time they strike a deal. They're supposed to just solve white collar crimes together, but they might even end up solving each other in the process.

A White Collar AU.

[mythologicalsims]

Sims 4 legacy challenge base game compatible

if you use it #simsbookmythologicalsims

Fifty shades of sims

Sims 4 book legacy challenge 

Base game compatible 

This legacy challenge goes through all the book types in the sims 4 such as Fantasy and non-fiction and skill books. It is more the books you can write then all the books you can buy. There will be an extended version and a harder version and mods and cc are allowed and so are cheats. If you don't cheat it will be harder and more of a challenge but I'm not your mom I won't stop you. Sorry if it's badly written Im dyslexic.

Generation one: Children’s book/ toddler books

Outfits: kidcore 

Aspiration: Big Happy Family Aspiration (complete) 

Buy all the kids books and toddler books.

Have at least 3 kids in the spaned of your life (they don't count if they get taken away)

See your grown up kids every other week.

Have all your kids max out a skill at any age.

Your baby daddy or mama has to see their kids every week (if they don't live with you)

Traits: Childish (any other trait that makes you think childish)

Generation two: Short story

Outfit: comfortable 

Job: writer (complete)

Write each type of book (except skill books)

Aspiration: Bestselling Author (complete)

Read to your kids when their kids every 3 days

Have your lover be a character from the game not made.

Treat the next heir as a princess or prince 

Generation three: Poems

Outfit: Renaissance 

Job: Entertainer (level 7)

Max out a instrument level

Aspiration: Musical Genius (complete)

Trait: creative

Sweet heart with significant other

Write a song and name it after your lover

Generation four: Non-fiction books

Outfit: nerd 

Aspiration: Renaissance sim (complete)

Trait:bookworm 

Buy: all nonfiction books

Skill: max out logic skill

Job: Business (level 5)

Significant other has loner as one of their traits

Generation five: Screenplays

Outfit: gothic 

Job: style influencer (level 7)

Aspiration: villainous valentine (complete)

Tragedy: like a kid dying or die young or something like that.

Trait: gloomy

Significant other doesn’t help with their kid (they can die or leave)

Has at least 3 kids

Generation six: Fantasy book

Outfit: high fantasy

Aspiration: painter Extraordinaire or location (Complete one)

Job: Freelancer 

House: castle 

One of your baby daddy’s or mommy’s has to be a occult sim (if you can’t then this doesn’t apply to you)

Have at least 4 kids (they can be taken away)

Have a fantasy wedding with the love of your life.

Generation seven: Science-fiction book

Outfit: Sci-Fi/futuristic

Aspiration: computer whiz (complete)

Job: Astronaut (complete)

Trait: Geek

Max out Rocket science skill

Have a baby made through science 

Have a friend that’s a alien (if you can’t make friends with someone with colored hair)

Make a rocket and woohoo/ try for a baby

Generation eight: Mystery book

Outfit:????

Aspiration: chief of mischief (complete)

Job: Secret Agent (level 7)

Trait: ambitious

One of your parents go missing (when your sim becomes a teen) you find them when you get to level 7 of mischief

Max out in mixology or violin

Have the next heir with someone that looks like you (the person reading this)

Generation nine: Biographies (This is a fun one it's just everything is how you see yourself.)

Outfit: you

Buy: your favorite book genre 

Aspiration: best fits you and finish it

Get level 10 in gaming (because you play sims)

Traits: your personality

Your partner (wife/husband thing) you have to be your type. (if you like skinny girls with black hair or curvy guys that have red hair etc.) 

Job you wanted to do when you were little and finish the career. 

Make your dream house for your sim.

Generation ten: Skill book

Outfit: Workwear (like mechanic and hard working out fits like construction)

Max out five-ten skills

Max out one of your kids skill

Buy: all the skill books

Never call in a serves to the house (like a handyman)

Job: odd jobs

Aspiration: Nerd Brain (complete)

Extended:

Generation****: Sad books

Job: unemployed  

Trait: gloomy

Outfit: blue

Aspiration: master mixologist (you don’t have to complete it)

Generation****: Motivational books

Aspiration: Fabulously wealthy

Outfit: professional 

Trait: self- assured

Job: criminal

Generation****: Playful book

Trait: goofball

Outfit: pastel to neon 

Aspiration: joke star

Job: Entertainer (comedian career)

Generation****: romance book

Aspiration: serial Romantic

Trait: romantic 

Outfit: tight fit (hot/sexy)

Job: sugar baby (take the money from the rich and leave)

Generation****: workout guides

Outfit: workout clothes 

Trait: active

Aspiration: bodybuilder 

Job: Athlete

Extreme edition: (Don't use this if you don't want to cry. I tried to make it for people that like legacy challenges but are bored by them not being hard.)

No cheats at all even if you need it, no mccc.

Your main sim has to be a vampire and the next generation has to be a vampire. 

Has to be male lead or female lead it just cant be you changing from female to male or male to female.

You can't control anyone but the heir even if her teen is starving to death and she is home alone.

Try not to kill your unimportant sims like your sister or your mom or your kid that's not an heir. 

Your heir has to write the book it was given (kids book sim you have to write a kids book.)

[dat-bruv-person]

hi airo~ so what would diluc, zhongli, ei and gamyu look like as housewives?

¡! ❞ housewife or househusband? that is the question...

a/n: mm, diluc as a housewife/malewife @fanficfroggie

gn!reader, poc!reader friendly *smooch*

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Diluc Ragnvindr: malewife extraordinaire! He is so SCRUMP-DIDDLY-UMPTIOUS 😍 ugh. He makes you breakfast in bed every morning, usually consisting of a latte or hot chocolate, two slices of toast with homemade jam in a jar, a small slice of Victoria sponge cake, and a note that says good morning! Don't forget a kiss on the forehead! Dawn Winery has a big ass orchard and vineyard, so you can guarantee that as you leave the Manor, you'll see Househusband!Diluc picking apples for your apple pie this evening 😉

Sweet Zhongli~ 🥰 In order to embrace the mortal life, he decided to be a househusband. Expect hot tea every day, accompanied by a gentle smile and handing you files because you're an important person in Liyue. He irons the newspaper before handing it to you, watching you read and your expression change with every page turn. Zhongli craves your praise, and only Celestia knows how much pride he feels when you come home and call out his name like he's some sort of adeptus. That said, he's still a former god- but that doesn't change anything! It only means that Xiao sees you as a parental figure and gets to loosen up when he's around you. The night ends with bidding Xiao goodbye after giving him a bento for his patrol, and taking a hot bath with your husband.

Ei is... something else. She's head over heels for you, plus she has the Shogun to rule Inazuma for her so she gets to be with you as much as she likes. The Shogun isn't opposed to when you kiss her head before she leaves, but Ei is. The Shogun is so serious about it, that she full on MAKES OUT WITH YOU. Her lips feel nice though. Get ready to have a pouty Archon next to you for the rest of the day. Girl can't cook. Girl's never had to clean a day in her life. What use is she? Honestly? She likes to sit next to you and look pretty whilst trying to somewhat seduce you into neglecting your duties just so you can both cuddle and eat sweets whilst she nestles herself into your lap or chest.

Ganyu is so frigging sweet in an apron, can I just say? Absolute eye candy. She makes the most flavourful dishes, and it's always something new so you never get bored. You guys walk hand in hand through Liyue, hello Keqing, and treat yourselves to a meal at the Wanmin Restaurant. Speaking of the Yuheng, she does get a bit jealous of Ganyu sometimes. Ever since she resigned, there had been an awful amount of work laid on her shoulders - not to mention the awful replacement. The adeptus sometimes came in to help and fight (without you knowing) but it made very little difference in the long term. Oh how she herself wished to snuggle into one's shoulder and be taken care of. A guilty thought she keeps to herself. Ganyu takes pride in being your wife, taking your things when you come home and rushing about- what a sight for sore eyes.

[therighthandofvengeance]

[tenebris-lux]

When people think of Abraham Van Helsing, the common first associations are along the lines of “the vampire expert!” “Dracula’s archnemesis!” “Vampire Hunter extraordinaire!” So when spin-offs write about his backstory, they give him some history with Dracula (or at least vampires). Like that is what shaped him into the guy who answers Jack Seward’s summons.

But the book itself seems to indicate otherwise. He had to do a bunch of research and some trial-and-error experiments when it came to combating vampirism in this story. He got caught off-guard during most of his encounters with vampires. So he was just as new to this as the other hunters, not a seasoned hunter.

When he first met Mina, he told her,

“I have learned not to think little of any one���s belief, no matter how strange it be. I have tried to keep an open mind; and it is not the ordinary things of life that could close it, but the strange things, the extraordinary things, the things that make one doubt if they be mad or sane.”

I seriously wonder about his history. What were the lessons that made him strive to keep an open mind? What did he witness?

We know his son died at some point, and he would’ve been around Arthur’s age if he had lived. And Van Helsing’s wife is alive, but “no wits, all gone”. We know a bunch of different fields he’s studied and mastered, but only in passing. We know Jack Seward had been his student and had once saved him from gangrene. And that’s about it.

What taught him to keep an open mind? What happened to his son and his wife? How’d he get so many PhDs and why?

I think whatever exposure he had to the topic of vampires, it was small or vague. Because his reaction to seeing Lucy’s bite for the first time was to start hitting the books. Most likely he had read about vampirism in a book that was on a different subject, and it had mentioned vampirism as a tangent. Or maybe someone told him a story of their own experiences that involved vampires or something related. Because Van Helsing’s reaction to the bite wasn’t (to me) that of someone who had come across a vampire bite before, but rather that seeing it rang some bells in his head. Something he’d heard about, but hadn’t been involved with.

See, I’d like to read some good fanfiction backstory based off those tidbits in the novel. If anyone knows any good ones (whether it’s online fanfiction or published books), please let me know. I’d be a little surprised though, because it would focus on something that’s not really the selling point.

I’m imagining the story would have an epilogue that takes place some time after … whatever the story’s about, and the scene ends with Van Helsing reading a letter from one of his favorite past students who needs help diagnosing a patient.

[iampresent]

Roger Chillingworth is so funny he literally comes to Boston after having gone through the goddamn tribulations for like 2 years only to find out that his wife who never liked him is in trouble for adultery and talks to her and is just like “Nah your good. I forced you into an unhappy marriage, you cheated on me and got punished, tit for tat.” *Points at Arthur Dimmesdale, wet paper bag man extraordinaire* “THIS GUY on the other hand”, and then proceeds to have weird fucked up sexual tension with him while phytologically tormenting him for 7 years.

like holy shit dude how are you the most socially progressive man in this book. 

[fandom-trash-goblin]

watching hotd, you know, like a fool: heirs of the dragon (episode one) // part 1 because it got too long

do you know hotd also shortens to high school of the dead. because it does. you guys should know that after it got thrown in my face so many fucking times

rhaenys's expression showing that combination of anger +betrayal +devastation+i should have known it. eve best already rules. jaehaerys you dumbfuck man stop smiling. you've just accelerated the fall of your dynasty.

i see that " 172 years blank blank before daenerys targaryen. you are not convincing me of the fact that showmakers have learnt from got's heinous strategies.

one of the dragon keepers looks likes zayn malik, in my humble opinion. if he doesn't, please dont come at me, i don't recognize my own face sometimes.

RHAENYRA!! the acting is immaculate look at the wonder of her face. the glove oof (baby bi here, i'd like to take the glove's place hang from her teeth, please and thank you)

if you're trying to tell me that this is not a love story, you are wrong, period. that is the face of someone who'd about to say "that's my wife!!!<3<3<3"

oh glad to see we're not going the grimy grey smallfolk route. i can see colours! look there's an orange tunic!!

the interlinked arms! what's the word for it?? english sucks sometimes. anyways, #babygays

alicent isn't a diabolical villain making plans to replace aemma, please. she's plain uncomfortable in the situation. "words stuck in my throat sort of thing". her mother is dead, you guys. of course she's like i can't have that anymore.

corlys is that guy that everybody calls "stick in the ass" "class monitor" but also gets all the work dumped on him. not a fun place to be. cheers, we be of a feather, corlys velaryon. aannnd they're ignoring him. this guy should be so chokeful of resentment i can't believe he's team black.

are you guys actually serious when you're saying vizzy t is a good king? because honest to god robert baratheon parallels.

he's already so fixated on "my heir". poor aemma, poor rhaenyra.

daemon donkey ears daemon donkey ears la la la.

not liking whatever the fuck is going on. what is this, a booktok romance?

oh thank god scene over. also, no one knows you like a best friend you had when you were 14. and we start seeing the parenting differences. alicent extra serious, because her father's got expectations. and rhaenyra, who's never had expectations laid on her, only her non existent brother.

born wearing a crown / cut out of his mother's stomach / bells tolling. i'm sure there's something there.

//howling// omfgd, second hand embarassment. this like medieval version of "i'm an alpha man"

wait why are they beating them up. what's the crime? hello?? i have Problems with the westerosi justice system.

this is the city that welcomed rhaenrya even when she married daemon? where's the narrative coherence?

okay fine. i give daemon this point. we start to see daemon+corlys alliance. cool.

otto hightower you're just blatantly provoking him now. make him angry and make him say something the king won't like. yeah not gonna happen. how the fuck does daemon believe that viserys never takes his side?? yeah yeah vizzy t let him off the hook

95 works in daemon/viserys? what is this fandom doing??

skip skip skip. yeah i mean. mommy issues. also grandmom threw me away to the vale issues. lots of issues here. also projecting viserys on rhaenyra.

rhaenyra / genevieve parallels-> both are always late.

alicent- memory extraordinaire, confirmed. also people love to salt the wound don't they? queen who never was?

Criston! criston criston!! i actually like his character tbh.

MASTER OF THE REVELS! these guys have done their research i love lore.

cute how otto is lowkey rooting for his son despite his stoic persona. aannd gwayne hightower down.

y'all alicent ain't looking at vizzy, she's lookin at her father. if i have to read one more wrong take.

that's it for part one i can't see aemma rn. thoughts? (and prayers because it's only going to get worse jesus)

(edit: this has been written 2 am in the morning and presented with minimal corrections. caution for mistakes)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Disney’s Hades

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So you’re trying to make a family friendly version of the Greek myth of Hercules for some ungodly reason. Right off the bat, you run into the problem of how he was conceived (Zeus can’t keep his dick in his pants) and that his arch-enemy is his dad’s wife and she’s constantly trying to murder him. None of that is gonna fly, so who can we have be the bad guy in this story?

How about Hades? Everyone hates him, after all.

Hades, lord of the dead and deal maker extraordinaire, is one of the freshest and funniest villains of the Disney Renaissance. He’s not quite the epic dramatic powerhouse that some of the other villains are, but once you see him in action, you are never gonna forget him.

Motivation/Goals: Hades is a guy who gets no respect among the other gods, and so to this end he decides to follow a prophecy that will allow him to free the Titans and wage war on Olympus. Despite being in Greek mythology and people like Oedipus and Theseus being household names in the film, Hades does not seem to detect the danger in following a prophecy that will inevitably lead to his downfall due to his hubris. Of course, if he was a little more self-aware we wouldn’t have a film, and that would be horrible.

To help stop the one thing that would ruin his plans (Hercules), Hades sends all manner of mythological monsters after Hercules, from his bumbling demon sidekicks to cameos from other myths to a rapist centaur. Of course, all of this just leads into the self-fulfilling nature of the prophecy. The movie may take a lot of liberties with Greek mythology, but the spirit is there with how Hades speeds up his own fate by trying to avoid the prophecy given to him in a manner similar to King Acrisius from the myth of Perseus. His motivations may be simply lusting for power, but it honestly suits the setting very well, because this sort of blind ambition is pretty common in Greek mythology, and it always leads to a fitting end.

Performance: According to James Woods, he was the only guy who didn’t audition with a generic deep, menacing voice. According to legend, he walked in tipsy and dropped “Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doin'?" Whatever the truth is, the world is a better place for this more comedic, sleazy used car salesman take on Hades that really makes him stand out among other mythological villains even to this day. I think it definitely helps that Woods is evil in real life, so playing the Greek version of the devil just came naturally to him.

Final Fate: Much like the Greek hero Bellerophon, Hades tried to claim Olympus as his own but did not realize it was not his place, and so much like the Chimera-slaying hero was sent packing. He tries one last time to get a win on Hercules by taking Meg’s soul and trying to get Herc to sacrifice himself for her, but Phil’s boy ascends to godhood and not only caves in his face, but tosses him into the pool of spirits, who proceed to drag him down into the depths while Pain and Panic look on with glee. Don’t worry, though; he chimes in after the credits to let you know he’s okay.

Best Scene: I think the scene where he confronts Meg in the garden and the scene where he finally meets Hercules and gets him to give up his powers are both contenders, as both really highlight what a conniving, scheming bastard he is. The former scene gets bonus points for showing how utterly creepy, manipulative, and abusive he is towards Meg, and the latter gets props for ramping up that scummy used car salesman charm that makes Hades so delightful.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hades is not the very best villain of the Disney Renaissance, but he’s damn close.

Everything about him just sticks in your mind: His fun and creative design, James Woods’s fantastic performance, his slimy personality, his explosive outbursts… Maybe he’s not a dramatic powerhouse like Frollo or a brilliant takedown of toxic mindsets like Gaston, but he’s fun, and really, that’s what Hercules is all about: Fun. It’s a colorful, exciting, and heartfelt Superman-in-Ancient-Greece story, and a story like that needs a villain like Hades to bring it together.

What really makes Hades stand out among the crowd is how Woods is always down to play the blue bastard, no matter what. Animated series? Woods is there. Every Kingdom Hearts game? Woods is there, and you get to kick his ass. House of Mouse? You know that Woods is doing that. One could argue that maybe Disney should stop letting him come back and perhaps replace him with (as Schafrillas suggested) Bob Odenkirk, but you’ve gotta admire how committed he is to the role and how he’s always down to reprise it, even if he is a nasty, creepy douchebag. It’s one of those rare instances where the villain is more charming and charismatic than the actor.

What’s really great is that, while he’s relatively simple in terms of what his goals are, it manages to be pretty accurate to the sort of thing you’d see in a Greek myth (as I’ve already stated). People love to rag on how this movie takes so many liberties with mythology, up to and including making the traditionally stern but good Hades into a villain, but it’s all in the service of the story. And even still, the core themes and lessons of Greek myths are baked into this tale, despite it deviating from the stories.

Hades is an easy 10/10. He might just be the funniest Disney villain ever, stealing the show and being effortlessly funny in ways few other Disney villains are. Aside from Iago, he might actually be the most hilarious antagonist Disney ever created in the 90s. And the fact he’s managed to stay consistently great and funny while keeping the same VA across multiple forms of media? It’s nothing short of astounding. There have been a lot of evil or antagonistic Hades since, such as the one from Kid Icarus: Uprising and the one from the game Hades, but as good as they are they are all standing in the shadow of this goofy, conniving bastard.

[librarycomic]

Fritz Leiber's Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser adaptation and script by Howard Chaykin, pencils by Mike Mignola, Inks by Al Williamson, colors by Sherlyn van Valkenburgh, and letters by Michael Heisler. Dark Horse, 2007. 9781593077136. Originally published by Marvel Epic in 1991. https://www.powells.com/book/-9781593077136?partnerid=34778&p_bt

I remember trying to read this graphic novel adaptation in my 20s and I didn't get it. But I just reread it and now I plan to seek out Leiber's books and stories to read more. Maybe there's something about being older that makes this buddy book more appealing. Or maybe it's that I've read so many crappy sword and sorcery books lately that my brain is relieved to finally find a good one.

The dialogue is excellent, as are the layouts. This is pre-Hellboy work by Mignola, and it's fun to see how Williamson's inking changes the tone of his art vs. when Mignola inks his own work. Inside there's evil wizardry, beautiful women, booze, and way too many rats for my wife, so I'm not going to try to get her to read it. But if you're in the mood for a dark, swashbuckling tale that is both humorous and horrific, I urge you to track down a copy.

Worth noting: My copy of this book belonged to my writing mentor, the all around great guy and librarian extraordinaire Frank Denton, who passed away last year. Frank introduced me to Leiber and many other science fiction, fantasy, and mystery writers that I still love, and deepened my appreciation of their work. I hope each of you is lucky enough to know someone like Frank and his amazing wife Anna, who was my grade school librarian.