#wilde is just the proudest mom i will cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bobofsuburbia · 2 years

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I've hit some pretty low spots before. Wanted to quit music. Regretted ever trying to do it in the first place.

My dad died 14 years ago tonight. Almost to the hour now. I miss him terribly and I get really sad when I think about him or his death.

I was essentially my dad's caregiver. I would cook for him and help him around the house but I was also a 20 year old piece of shit so I could have done better. A lot better.

The night he died, I had taken some of his pain meds with the intent to get high. After dinner and the college football national championship game, he had a coughing fit and went to bed early, so I took the opportunity to catch a fade. I checked on him after about an hour or so, he asked me for water and I brought it to him.

I checked on him before I went to bed just another hour or two later, and he was gone. I was high by then.

I still remember how he laid there. How I knew the second I saw him. How I called out to him. How he felt when I touched him.

I couldn't process. My brain was white static. I called my mom at work. I told her that Dad was gone. I think that's when I cried.

I instantly regretted everything. I started to think that maybe I fucked up not trying to perform CPR or call 911 right away. I started to think that maybe I missed something when I brought him water. But only one cut like a knife because it was the only one that was absolutely true, I shouldn't have been high that night.

I remember a cop showed up first. Then my mom. And then the medics left with my dad. And then more static.

I haven't revisited that night that much. I haven't wanted to see myself in those memories, but I also don't want to forget him.

So when I dwell there I have to force myself to remember the good times too.

In the time leading up to his passing, we got to spend a lot of time together.

One night in particular, my then-girlfriend-now-wife came over for dinner and to watch a movie. I made gourmet turkey burgers with cheese crusted buns and avocado. We watched INTO THE WILD together. My dad spent a lot of time in Alaska, and in retrospect it means a lot to me that it was one of the last movies we watched together.

I haven't watched that movie since and I can barely look at any photos or clips of scenes from that movie without a quick flood. There will come a day when I can, and I'll probably need a lot of tissues then too.

The reason I was able to spend so much time with my dad was that I quit the band that I was in at the time. It really bummed him out. He didn't want to be an anchor keeping me from my dreams. I was just a bunch of colliding atoms and impulses and wasn't really pushing towards my dreams in any meaningful way.

It sometimes feels like nothing has changed. Like I'm still an adolescent man. Like I'm destined to disappoint. Like I'm all alone in the universe.

And sometimes, I just really really miss my dad.

And now, I just keep making music because it feels like the natural and right thing to do. Not just for me, but for my dad's memory within me.

He would tell people how I taught myself guitar and that I would write my own songs. Once I caught him crying while I played him something. It was the proudest I ever got to make him.

His pride has been my backbone more often than I'd like to admit. I wish I got a chance to give him more to take with him.

So now I gotta hope he can still hear me through all the distance.

I still love and miss you, dad. All these songs are for you. ❤️

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artanddaddyissues · 3 years

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The M6 with their children <3

IM SOBBING THIS IS SO CUTE

Heads up: MC text is yellow, PURE fluff, they/them pronouns for the kiddos, the Li's partners have fem pronouns <3

If you want some more baby content, go here! I will fuel your baby fever 😩

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- EXTREMELY loving parent <3

- if you thought Asra was caring and worried towards you, just imagine them with your kid.

- "You SCRAPED your KNEE? MC! OUR CHILD IS DYING!" "Asra no-"

- frantic healing spells and healing magic are always on the ready, since your child is very, very curious.

- constantly checking up on their child, making sure that kid is living their best life.

- Asra raises them with magic and holds back tears when they nail a new spell.

- "Yes! I'm so proud of you, that was perfect!" "Can I try another? "Oh my- I could cry." "But you are crying-"

- Absolutely IN AWE with the life he helped to create

- Doesn't believe that somebody as... messy... as himself, could create something so perfect.

- "Look at that! they've got my eyes."

- Julian is the proudest, of proud dads. he will take any chance he gets to boast about his kid

- "MC! GET OVER HERE THEY'RE STANDING UP!"

- Records everything in a notebook, filling it with drawings and pages and pages of notes, studying behaviour and keeping memories.

- Since the baby, he's put himself on strict schedule. He gave himself tasks and laid out everything he'll do with the kid up until the age of 16.

- "Hey papa, can we buy a dog?" "Well, your mama will probably say no." "So, then we dont buy one?" "You're right, we steal one!" "ILYA."

- MOTHER NADIA >

- Ultimate nurturer

- She will spoil this kid rotten and you have no say in this.

- She will put them in the best schools in all of Vesuvia

- Will teach them how to ride horses

- Will teach them how to create their own magical gate while you teach them magic

- When the baby was born, she secretly started planning all their birthday gifts up until they were an adult and began a photo album

- Nadia would take her kid on many royal engagements, to show them what it takes to be a good leader

- "But mom..." "I'm not hearing it now dear, we're already on the road. Plus, these nobles frustrate me so later, we can talk about them over tea." "Okay, that doesn't sound so bad now."

- “hey kid come here” “Dad I have a name-” “yeah but kid is easier. Want to go bother mom?” “Absolutely I do.”

- They are your worst enemies. Some Godforsaken tag team of dueling in the halls, painting on the empty walls, pranking the staff, swimming in the fountain and so, so much more.

- This kid grows up half you and half Lucio

- He doesn't waste a minute to start teaching the kid how to survive in the wild, like his mother did.

- Many people, including yourself thought that Lucio would be careless and teach his kid how to party first but it turns out that something in him changed with a kid.

- "My mama told me to never run from musk bears but they smell awful so take it from me and run." "Oka-" "Always find out which way the wind is blowing, it might mess up your shots." "Alrigh-" "when you're in the cold, don't stop moving. Keep moving, keep your hands close to you, make sure you maintain a-" "Dad please... It's literally summer."

- The equivalent of mother nature to her child.

- As soon as the baby was born, Portia got another cat for the baby and soon enough they became best friends.

- She teaches her kid about the seas, the stars, and gardening. Especially gardening.

- Your kid is feisty and very, very manipulative.

"But-" "Just because they're cute, doesn't mean they can have-" "M/C LOOK AT THEM."

- Portia adores her little baby and carries them around on her back in a scarf / sash

- She wastes no time in teaching them how to read and write.

- 100% would make flashcards and sit down with the baby for hours

- Trips to Nevivon skyrocket because Portia is such a proud mama.

- She also needs help taking care of a baby because she only knows cats and plants

- "What does it mean when they constantly brings me gifts?" "They hang out with their cat a lot.” "Oh-"

- Portia is the body positive queen <3 this baby will grow up so confident because of the constant love of their mamas <3

- Lowkey a millennial mom. Very protective over her kid

- "M/C what do i do?"

- Muriel is very nurturing and patient

- Lets the baby roll around in dirt, play with sticks, ride Inanna like a pony

- The fun / protective dad

- Muriel will do anything to protect his baby

- He loves to hold his kid

- "Muriel, they're 10-" "Still small enough for me to carry."

- By the time the kid is 12, they can survive completely off the grid. no questions asked.

- Muriel's weakness is his child's smile. Anytime this kid smiles or laughs, he gives in.

- Very much the, "I don't need it, they do." type of dad

- His child is very curious and always wants to take him on little trips and adventures through the city. As much as Muriel complains, he secretly loves it.

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thisbelongsto-nohbodys · 2 years

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Any headcanons for Anne The Herpetologist?

Here’s a few that I may use in future comics but to get my quick thoughts down here’s a few:

Anne had all her photos she took in Amphibia saved on the cloud so she was able to get them back when she got a new phone. This helped her with the Amphibia display at the aquarium which her mom helped make with her newfound arts n crafts skills.

The Sprig on earth is her own frog, she keeps him at work because it has a better terrarium than the one at home plus it just seems right to have him in the Plantar home display. She took him home sometimes when she wanted someone to talk to and co-workers have seen her carrying a conversation with it.

She still has a taste for bug cuisine, she doesn’t make everything with bugs but occasionally she’ll have snacks or a side dish made with bugs and this quickly made it so her lunch never went missing when she brought it to work.

She can name how many and what kind of amphibian is crying when she hears them outside in the wilds. This has both impressed and frightened Sasha and Marcy when she does this trick.

Always on the look out for lookalikes of her Amphibia friends, so far she has: Sprig, Grimes, Hop Pop, Polly, Wally, Olivia, Loggle, Stumpy, Maddie, Ivy and Tritonio. She sends a pic to Sasha and Marcy when she finds them and it’s always uncanny how much they do look like em.

Before the trio got back together, Anne’s longest relationship ended when she found one of Anne’s frogs in the chip bowl while they were cuddling.

Anne has an impressive home terrarium for her pet amphibians but has to keep them under lock and key when she leaves cause she fears Domino 4 might harm them.

Anne isn’t afraid of getting dirty and as such one of her proudest moments was when she was still a college student, she dove headfirst into a bog cause she was catching a toad that looked like Grime. The photo of her covered head to toe, half sunk in the mud with a big grin and an angry toad in her hands was in the yearbook and on her wall at home. Sasha demanded a copy when she saw it cause she was laughing so hard.

Anne would never actually do it but when Sasha or Marcy had a bad day, Anne would joke about certain poisons that frogs have she could use to get back at whomever was the cause of their foul mood. They know she’s joking but are also curious about the strangely labeled vials she has in her frog’s room yet know better than to ask (it’s antidote for any toxic frog slime)

She loves it when it rains and likes to go out to the park and listen to the frogs and toads cry. It reminds her of Wartwood. Sasha and Marcy however aren’t keen on walking in the rain but love how cute she looks while listening and finding the singing frogs.

She has a few friends at work from the other exhibits and when she first started they recognized her from the invasion. She explained the story behind it all and when the trio reconnected, Anne’s work friends started making bets on if or who she’ll date (none of them won cause she dated and married both).

Anne goes on a bi-annual trip with Dr. Jan to various locals looking for new ideas for exhibits. Anne has saved her group several times thanks to the Plantar Hunting Dance keeping dangerous animals at bay

She still has Tritonio’s family sword on display in her Frog Room and still practices her swordsmanship. Once the trio started living together, Sasha joined in and they’ll spar. Marcy often points out the clear romantic tension the two have while sword fighting (they know).

That’s just a few I can think of.

#Amphibia #anne bounchoy #anne boonchuy plantar #amphibia headcanon #weirdkev27 #ask #Sashannarcy

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fantastic-bby · 3 years

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SKZ as animal hybrid boyfriends

Pairing: Reader x Members

Word count: 2.9k

Genre: Fluff | Headcanon | Animal Hybrid/Shifter AU | Boyfriend AU

Warnings: Very brief mention of spiders

Masterlist

Chan

A husky hybrid

Has the CUTEST pair of gray and white ears that stick out of the top of his head

Also has the most gorgeous pair of pale blue eyes that glow in the dark

He has a fluffy white tail that wags like crazy whenever he’s excited because he doesn’t know how to stop it from showing

He’s also the sweetest boyfriend in. The. WORLD!

Always asks how you’re doing

Makes sure your not missing any meals and that you’re always hydrated

Every morning, he wakes you up with cute good morning texts and he always tries to send you good night texts sometimes forgets because he gets so caught up in work

He makes up for it tho

Sends flowers to your place whenever he forgets uwu

Chan’s the perfect boyfriend

The only problem is that you’re allergic to dogs

He didn’t realise why you always seemed to sneezy and stuffy whenever you would come over to his place

Until you told him

And his reaction makes you feel like you just told him the most horrific thing in the world

To him it is!!!!

Because he’s the reason that you’ve been having allergic reactions around him!!

He starts vacuuming his place more often to keep any fur away and makes sure to keep the area super clean so that you’re clear from anything that could cause a reaction

He also starts lint rolling and vacuuming his clothes before giving them to you so that you don’t take any of his fur home unless you ask him to leave his fur

Chan gets confused whenever you tell him that you don’t want him to vacuum or wash his hoodies before giving them to you

But you like them because every time you see the strands of gray and white fur sticking out of his hoodie, it reminds you of him

So instead,

Chan starts buying a crap ton of allergy meds

Puts them in every corner of his house

In the bathroom

The kitchen

The living room

The bedroom

Literally everywhere just in case you get a super bad reaction

That way he’s always prepared for anything

Minho

A maine coon hybrid

The most luscious fur ever known to man

His cat ears are so fluffy and always well groomed

He has this beautiful fluffy orange tail that he’s gotten pretty good at hiding his feelings with

Usually a hybrid’s animal features would probably give away their emotions, but Minho learned to control his ears and tails really well

It’s just that his ears are really sensitive and they flick around every few seconds whenever he’s in a crowded place

He has a pair of yellow eyes that are constantly in the shape of slits simply because he wants to intimidate everyone around him

Also always has his claws out because they intimidate strangers

Wouldn’t tell anyone, but Minho lets his pupils dilate when he’s alone with you (´∀｀)♡

He also likes to tease you a lot but you know he’s just joking because if he was serious, his tail wouldn’t be so related

You try not to tell him because then he’ll start working harder to hide his tail swishes

Is the most precious yet teasing boyfriend out there

He’ll make a joke about you eating a lot of ice cream whenever you’re sad, but he’ll always have your favourite ice cream in the freezer

If you complain about some kind of muscle pain, Min would call you weak but then also come home with muscle relief patches that he’ll stick to you himself

Minho likes to shift into cat form if you’re stressed because then it means that he wouldn’t really disturb you a lot

His footsteps are way quieter when he’s in cat form as compared to human form

So if you’re stressed or tired and you ask him to give you time

Minho would shift and hide in one of the cat towers he bought for himself until he hears you coming out of the bedroom

The moment he hears the sound of the bedroom door opening, he’ll lift his head and peek out from the top

If you sit on the floor right in front of the tower, Minho will scurry off of the tower to sit in your lap to

But if you don’t even look at the tower and you instead go to the kitchen, he’ll wait a bit longer to give you more time

Changbin

Yk I wanna say he’d be some cursed Dwaekki hybrid the skzoo dwaekki haunts me in my sleep

But I genuinely feel like he’d be something really threatening like a wild animal

So if Chan’s a husky and Minho’s a maine coon

I’m gonna throw Changbin in as a grizzly bear because he’s a tank of a man and I love him for that

His ears are dark brown and rounded, poking out from the top of his head

His eyes are super dark brown and sometimes you can’t even tell if you’re able to see the white in his eyes bcs his pupils are just that big

His hands have these huge black claws that could claw someone apart if he wanted to

Also has a cute brown tail that he often hides underneath his clothes because it’s small enough for him to sit on

He gives THE BEST CUDDLESSSS!!!!!

Sometimes shifts into bear form just to cuddle you because it’s cold and relying on the heater might make it too warm

So Binnie likes to use his own fur to warm you up if he notices you shivering

Also would not hesitate to bear his teeth at anyone who tries to hurt you

Changbin doesn’t really tell anyone this

But one of his proudest bear traits is his ability to vocalise like a bear

Which means that whenever he feels the need to protect you or whoever’s around him

He will growl like a bear

And it’s terrifying

You didn’t even know that Changbin could roar until one night when a stranger wouldn't take your ‘no’ as an answer and your boyfriend almost lost his mind

He pulled you behind him and grabbed the collar of their shirt and just roared at them

The stranger being a hybrid of a smaller bear species immediately scrambled off

But Changbin also immediately switches back into sweet, cuddly boyfriend the moment he turns back to you <3

Hyunjin

A sphynx hybrid

Very dramatic

Very loud

He has pink cat ears sticking out of the top of his head with a little black splotch on his left ear

He also has this naked pink tail that sticks out from underneath his shirt

Every minor inconvenience and Hyunjin’s meowing and whining to you about it and you think it’s funny every time he does

Like the time he misplaced his sock and was crying all over your shared home looking for it until he found it underneath the bed

His claws are retractable, so he usually hides them because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone on accident unlike Minho

He’s VERY cuddly both in human form and cat form

Hyunjin likes to do the ‘kneading the dough’ thing whenever you’re cuddling

And ends up leaving holes in your clothes because his claws would accidentally grab onto the fabric

Would also feel really bad afterwards because now he’s ruined your shirt

You reassure him that it’s fine

But Hyunjin’s dramatic also kinda wants an excuse to go shopping with you

So he cries about it and it leads to him dragging you to the mall so that he can buy you a new one

Ends up getting distracted at a cat cafe because he’s made conversation with one of the cats there

And he’s basically talking to them like he’s a middle aged wine mom talking about their weird husbands

You have to remind him what the goal is

But he’s so immersed in the conversation with the orange tabby that you can only watch in amusement

Hyunjin’s talking to it in English while the cat nods with it’s tail swishing every time he asks it a question, mewling every once in a while as a response

You watch with a smile on your face, chin resting against the palm of your hand as you listen

You can only gather that Hyunjin’s telling the cat about why you’re at the mall

And the cat turns to you with a bored expression on its face before meowing

“She says good luck on finding a new shirt”

You nod and reach out to pet the cat’s head as thanks

You and Hyunjin leave after a while

And soon, the trip to get one shirt turns into a shared shopping spree

Jisung

Kinda obvious but he’s a squirrel hybrid

He has a pair of rounded, light brown ears on the top of his head

A bushy light brown tail that bumps into everything whenever he’s in cramped spaces

And the CUTEST pair of brown eyes EVERRRRR

His squirrel trait is where he gets the habit of stuffing food into his cheeks whenever he eats

Ji’s really good at climbing

So he has this long ass piece of wood that he keeps in the living room of his home so that he can still climb something in squirrel form if he can’t go outside

He also has tiny black claws that he uses mainly for practicality when he's in human form

So stuff like cutting into plastic, through strings and to open mail

He just slides his finger across the top of the envelope and boom

Jisung’s quite clumsy

It doesn’t help that he has this huge, bushy tail behind him

He bumps you with it a lot and he’s always so apologetic over it

But it’s fine because it’s his tail and it’s soft and cute and it’s part of Jisung UwU

There were a couple of times where you would wake up and his tail would be tickling your sides

So you’d wake up giggling

And it would wake him up too

He’d turn around and immediately wrap his arms around your waist to cuddle into you

You love playing with his ears

Jisung’s really responsive whenever you pet his squirrel features

So if you touch his tail in public

He’s jolting forward like AHHH

And you like to gently rub his ears whenever you’re cuddling

Jisung usually ends up cuddling into you more because he really likes it whenever you play with his ears

He has a habit of making those squirrel squeaks whenever he’s uncomfortable

So in public, if he feels like he’s overwhelmed or wants to leave

He’ll cling onto your arm and start squeaking softly so that only you’re able to hear

And it’s an easy way for you to know that he wants to leave without him actually telling you

Felix

Horned owl hybrid

He has two sets of white and brown feathers that poke out from the top of his head and curls to the back

He does, however, have talons at his fingertips that he doesn’t really like because it gets caught on a lot of things

Has feathers running down his arms, but can’t actually fly in human form

His eyes are this beautiful amber colour

He also has a lot of hanging stuff in his house that he likes to fly back and forth to whenever he shifts into owl form

Absolutely loves doing the head spinning trick because you freaked out the first time you saw him do it as a human

Felix also has really light footsteps

So sometimes you don’t even hear him coming into a room and suddenly he’s beside you

Which scares you sometimes

Overall, Felix is just unintentionally scary.

Buuuut

Because he has really good eyesight at night

And because he’s nocturnal

He sleeps in the day

Which means that all of his work is done at night while you’re asleep

His hearing is intense which means that he could hear the smallest pin dropping in the kitchen from the bedroom

So when he hears something strange coming from the kitchen

He’s immediately crawling out of bed and peeking out of the bedroom door

That’s when he sees a spider crawling out from behind the fridge

A huge spider

Now, Felix does NOT like spiders

But he knows that if you wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink, then you’re going to be freaked out by too

But he should be able to toss it out the window in owl form

So Felix pops open one of the windows and shifts

His silent flying and sharp night vision make it a quick mission that’s executed without much hassle

He manages to grab the spider with his talons and just tosses it straight out of the window

By the time Felix has returned to the bedroom

You’ve woken up because you realised he wasn’t beside you anymore

So he climbs back into bed and lets you hold onto him while you fall back asleep

Seungmin

Labrador hybrid

Has a pair of golden ears flopping over the top of his head

Also has a golden tail that he usually hides because if he gets over excited then it’ll wag all over the place and might bump into things

Is a relatively quiet person and is also a quiet dog

He doesn’t say or bark that much

But you’ve come to learn how to read his body language

Because his posture both in human form and dog form speak his thoughts

Like whenever he’s standing tall then you’ll figure that Minnie’s probably uncomfortable or feels threatened

As quiet as he is

He’s extremely attentive to your needs as well

Seungmin’s able to catch your body language way quicker than you are at reading his

Which means that the moment you look uncomfortable, he’s immediately moving to stand beside you with an arm wrapped around you

Think of it as that TikTok trend that’s like ‘using my scary dog privilege’

In this case

Seungmin’s more than happy to be the scary dog that lets you walk around alone

He’d bark and bite at anything or anyone who would try to hurt you

Even in human form, he’d growl as a warning to other animal hybrids that are around you

Whenever you’re out in public, Seungmin tries to stay by your side just in case anything happens

But when he has to part from you to talk to another group of your friends

He keeps you in his line of sight

He’d always angle himself in conversations so that the person he’s talking to has their back facing you so that he’s able to see you

And when a cat hybrid suddenly approaches you

Seungmin’s more on the attentive side but he hasn’t gone into protective mode because you don’t look uncomfortable

But then your frame starts to shrink

He immediately changes his posture

Which scares the people around him because suddenly, Seungmin looks so scary

He waits a moment longer and the moment you start looking around the room for him, he’s shoved his drink into the hands of Hyunjin so that he can make his way over to you

He slings his arm over your shoulder and glares at the cat hybrid who’s now extremely intimidated by the presence of the labrador hybrid

Seungmin leans close to the cat and growls at them until they run off

He stays with you for the rest of the night and the way he stays in protective mode makes you feel safe

Until you get home and Seungmin’s back to this ball of cuddle fluff that you absolutely love (｡♥‿♥｡)

Jeongin

Fennec fox hybrid

Has a big pair of white fluffy ears that poke out of his head

Has a fluffy white tail that blends into a more golden colour that’s long enough to poke out from underneath his shirt

He has super insane hearing

Even if he has headphones in, he can hear the outside world

Bodes well for him because whenever you walk into his apartment, he’ll walk out immediately to greet you

He never actually feels hot or warm because his body heat radiates off of his ears

Is always cold in human form

In fox form, his fur insulates his body instead so he doesn’t feel much of a difference

Has a habit of not drinking for hours because he can get stuck in his fox form

Also has a habit of chewing on your desk plants if he deems them edible

Unfortunately for you, that means you’ll come home to your beautiful plant babies half eaten and munched away because your fox boyfriend wanted a snack

To solve this problem, you filled the fridge with berries and vegetables for whenever he feels like snacking

But sometimes he goes overboard and he pretty much eats everything he can find when he forgets to eat for a while

He’s a fox hybrid that doesn’t know how to shift on command

Usually he has this big urge to shift but he’ll be stuck in one form for a while before being able to switch

He doesn’t know any other fox hybrids

So Jeongin has to learn to control his animalistic instincts with the help of you!

His human partner

Lucky for the both of you

You have a friend who’s a red fox hybrid

She’s not a fennec fox

But she still shares similar instincts to Jeongin because they’re both fox hybrids

So now Jeongin comes to you with the biggest smile on his face whenever he’s accomplished something, gushing about how Fox Noona taught him how to shift on command

He’ll show you

And you watch as he shifts into this tiny little fennec fox with a big smile on his snout (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

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carcasstohounds · 4 years

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anyway, here are the native ellen claremont headcanons that totally aren’t just me projecting

-ellen’s mom is from the white earth reservation, but due to the american indian relocation act, ended up in dallas, then lometa. her parents moved back up to white earth when she was 18, but she ended up pregnant with ellen. she stayed back to try to stay with the guy who knocked her up, but he dipped because white men suck and she just sort of had to deal with being a native single mom in a tiny town in texas.

-she worked hard and taught ellen to do the same, and eventually ellen ended up in law school where she met oscar. they bonded over being brown in a crowd of white assholes, graduated together and got married. they had june a few years after that, that, then alex, and things move on as they do in the book.

-every summer, ellen sent june and alex up to family on the rez for a month, then oscar would send them down to family in mexico for a month.

-both june and alex started dancing before they could walk (lmao same). june had a tiny jingle dress with like, five cones per row because it was so small, and alex had little grass dancer regalia. 10/10 cuteness.

-alex and june went as victor and thomas for halloween twice, once as toddlers and once as adults. it was hilarious both times.

-also i’m living for the idea of long hair alex. can you IMAGINE.

-june was a powwow princess once, which is the source of several of her inside jokes with henry.

-alex speaks ojibwe!!!! he would teach it to himself over the school year, and then spend the month in white earth practicing nonstop. i think june and ellen probably know some too, but alex is the only one who’s mostly fluent.

-jumping off that, ellen introducing herself in ojibwe first, and then in english for speeches!!!! (this is a thing a lot of native speakers do, and it’s cool to hear every time.)

-pendletons all over the austin house. when alex and henry move in together, alex pulls out like 4 of em and a star quilt or two he got for graduation, and henry’s like ????

-also, ellen got a giant star quilt from her family when she was elected and cried.

-they all have their indian names. ellen got hers when she was in her twenties, but got junes when she was 8 and alex’s when he was 7.

-ellen (and alex and june) having to deal with a second accent issue. people already don’t like southern accents, but they also don’t like rez accents.

-june and alex codeswitch so much it’s ridiculous.

-alex, to henry in the wedding scene: fuckin skoden

-alex, pointing at a pidgeon feather on the ground: some real sacred shit, right there.

henry, who can’t tell if he’s joking: ????

-alex, sobbing to fawn woods “lonesome for you” at 3am: no i don’t miss henry why do you ask

-follow up to that last one: alex makes henry listen to remember me and they both cry

-ellen: no june, i can’t say i hate white people in a speech.

-they’re the definition of boujee natives

-june and ellen wearing b yellowtail to events!

-they go to gathering of nations every year and june and alex always end up lost in the vendor areas with armfuls of shit because they started talking to someone and the person was really nice so they felt obligated to buy stuff (we’ve all been there lmao)

-junes biggest flex is that she once ate powdered sugar frybread in a black dress on a windy day without getting any of it on the dress.

-on days when the “president mom” face comes down, ellen, june, and alex make frybread and wild rice together in the white house kitchens, just like they did at the austin house.

-this ones really specific, but one of june and alex’s favorite candies are the maple sugar candies from native harvest (they’re sold out on the website :( hopefully they’ll be back this winter though)

-ellen has a beaded lanyard (are you really a native person in a position of power if you don’t have a beaded lanyard)

-june has so many earrings. so many. she has an entire jewelry box dedicated just to earrings.

- wait earrings alex

-june had the brown kid bleach streak in middle school (this is such a specific phenomenon and i don’t really know what’s up with it or why no one else seems to know what i’m talking about, but if you put a group of native kids in a room together i can guarantee that about 1/3 of them have a bleach streak)

-alex can do the powwow mc voice perfectly, which is one of the things he’s proudest of.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwarb #ellen claremont #alex claremont diaz #june claremont diaz #native claremont family au #also this is not to erase alex and june’s mexican heritage #because they are still definitely that #they can just. also be native. because i’m native and i say so.#also i’m saying ojibwe because that’s what i grew up hearing the most #i have so many more ideas for this i am THRIVING

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goldenpctals · 4 years

Photo

TRUTH BOOTH, mackenzie edition

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: I’m Mackenzie Juniper Quinn 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? I was named ever my mother’s grandmother, Mackenzie and Juniper was my own grandmother. So classic, right? 3. Do you have any nicknames? A few. Kenz, Kenzie 4. Where were you born? And in which country? Born and raised in Brisbane, Queensland. Also known as Australia 5. What is your date of birth? November 1, 1995 6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? Scorpio 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? No, they never add up. There is a moment where every now and then, I can relate to a certain post. However, Zodiac signs are just a myth to me 8. Where do you live? I jump between Violet Springs and London 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) In London, I have my own apartment, but in Violet Springs, I live with Theo. I have an apartment in London because of my work duties 10. Do you have any siblings? I have one twin brother named Sebestian who constantly reminds me that he is the oldest by 30 seconds. Sad 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? Peanut allergy 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? Do snakes back home in Australia count? We usually occur a wild snake every now and then. They keep seem to come back? 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? My mom recommended it to me and eventually, I had a scholarship 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? No, I was discovered 15. What is the current course you’re following? Acting, mostly on screen/tv 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? Producing. It’s a new journey I’m starting at the moment 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? I, Tonya 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? Anything Mason does. His work is absolutely fascinating 19. Do you like FanCons? I do 20. What do you like about FanCons? The answer would be pretty obvious, but meeting fans and getting to know them 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? Too personal questions. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s FanCon and fans will ask questions, but some are unbelievably severe 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. Whenever they dress up as Harley Quinn. That always stays absolutely adorable 23. Your favorite event so far? I love any kind of award show 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? Maybe some kind of camping / surviving trip? 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? Depends. If you handle the pressure and you are career-focused, then yes. If you can’t handle the drama, then no

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? Passionate, purposeful and patient. The 3 P’s that Quinn’s usually swear by 27. What are you negative traits? Incredibly stubborn and a little too fierce 28. What would other people describe you as? I hope positive things. But I know some of them have a lot to say other wise, oops 29. What are your pet peeves? Picking men over your friends 30. What makes you happy? Family, genuine friends, working 31. What makes you upset? The classic: ‘seeing one of my loved ones upset’ 32. What is something you love? Working. I’m a workaholic 33. What is something you dislike? Being so proud of something and then not getting the recognision that everyone deserves 34. What are you strengths? I would like to say that I’m organised? 35. What are you weaknesses? Picking my head over my heart. Poor choices have been made, unfortunately 36. A misconception people often think of you? That I’m a spoiled brat, probably. Little did they know, everything I’ve done, has been acchieved by me, myself and I 37. Do you have any fears? Yes, but I’m passing this one since I have 3 passes 38. What scares you the most? Tiny holes. They are awful 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? Work out, go shopping or be around my friends 40. What is your MBTI? My MBTI type is ESFP 41. How do you deal with stress? Talk to Amber, she is like my personal therapist 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? Stubborn, very 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? I am. However, since when is this a bad thing? You should be looking out for yourself? 44. Would you like to be different? No, I don’t 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? Extraverted

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? My sexuality is: Heterosexual 47. Current relationship status? I’ve been in a relationship with Theo Carmichael for a couple of years now, even when we had our low moments, I still adore him 48. When was your first kiss? Behind a bar, I was drunk and snuck out of my house 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? Yes, it was that awful that I’m sparing you the details. You’re welcome! 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? Pass 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) I have! 52. If no, how so? n/a 53. How do you know when you’re in love? Honestly, this was pretty hard for me to answer. I have experienced multiple relationships in my past and with Theo, things were just different. There was so much more and he opened up a whole new world to me by being so patient and understand 54. What would be your ideal date? Take me on an adventure and you’re good to go 55. What is your perspective on marriage? Being pressured into marriage is never good. My parents tend to do so. However, I would love to get married someday. 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? You had the audicity to ask that? 57. What do you think of relationships? If you’re in love, then it’s wonderful. I wish people stopped getting their lonely souls mixed into business they shouldn’t even be in 58. What do you think of one-night stands? Used to, but it’s a no for me, thanks 59. Are you still a virgin? No, I’m not 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? Passion 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? Being truthful to one another and talk things out if there is something to talk about. I’m still learning this myself 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? Not the biggest fan, but I don’t really mind it? 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? The one to be asked out 64. How do you express love to the other? *looks away at Theo* 65. Who is your celebrity crush? If I don’t say my boyfriend, he will probably ignore me for a solid week and come back with a replacement for me. Probably a dog. So, my boyfriend, Theo

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? Yes, I do 67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? There are a couple of things yes. But that’s for me to know and for you to dot.. dot.. dot.. 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? What happened in Brisbane on July 20, 2012 (OOC: This is that her secret happened) 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? Yesterday. Sometimes I tend to get overwhelmed by the pressure of my parents. Bash thinks he isn’t their favorite and always calls me out for being the favorite. I don’t think he knows what they want me to be 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: I almost drowned whenever the ship sunk. This happened twice. Twice? Like, excuse me? Did St Judes raised their insurance policy? I hope they did 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? See question 67 72. Someone you miss? People leave for a reason. It is what it is 73. Something you wish you could forget? Once again, July 20 2012 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? Disney has a pretty big impact on me. She is definitely someone I look up to, a lot. Also my mom or my grandmother 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? It shouldn’t be scary. If love scares you, are you ready for it? 76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? Hm, can’t really think of something? 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? Gained: More confidence in my work. Lost? “Friends”. Let go of: Chopping my hair so short 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? Yes and no. 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? I don’t 80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? That life isn’t really that painful and that I should really get a sense of fashion.........

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? Summer, any day 82. Cats or dogs? Dogs 83. Beach or mountains? Beaches, but I love the mountain view more 84. Phone calls or texting? Phone calls 85. Have you ever skipped class? Rarely

#stjudestruthbooth #q.

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papenniesandbentoboxes · 4 years

Note

multiples of 5 for the nancy drew ask meme (if that isn't too many)

5. My favorite ship is Francy. I just... I love it so much. I read the books before and about the same time as playing the games, and in the books it's kinda canon. I do have other ships that I ship just as much, but Francy is the ship I’ve shipped the longest.

10. My favorite character is both Hardy Boys. I love them so much. They also remind me of my sister and I, with the same dynamic, so it’s really fun to see them and talk to them. As I said earlier, I love them. A lot. So much. *chef’s kiss*

15. My least favorite book... I haven’t read the books in so long, but I think is was the one with the bridge where the culprit was just a scarecrow or something. I didn’t like that.

20. Which game had the best storyline... That’s a tough one. I love the storyline of CUR, with the family history and everything, but I also like GTH, even if it is kind of screwy with the backstories. SPY, even though the plot was a little out of order at some points with some gameplay, had a really good storyline that was both sad and awesome. SAW is also really good. So was DED. Ugh. I can’t choose.

25. What game confuses me? MED. Hands down. I still don’t know what the hell is going on. No clue.

30. My favorite STFD character is Dwayne Powers. He’s so unhinged that it’s also kind of funny. He’s just very amusing.

35. My least favorite TRT character is Lisa. She just annoys me. So much. Her voice, the things she wants to talk about, I just don’t like her.

40. My favorite character in DOG is all the dogs. The four rotties and Yogi. I love them.

45. Least favorte DDI... Andy Jason. I just... Mmmmhhhhhh no.

50. My favorite CLK character is the telephone operator lady. Her accent, her attitude, she’s great.

55. My least favorite DAN character is probably... A tie between Heather McKay and Jean-Michel Traquenard. I found Heather boring and Jean-Michel just... Eh.

60. My favorite CRY character. *sigh* Take a wild guess....... It’s Henry. I love him so much.

65. My least favorite HAU character is a tie between the bride and the groom. I just don’t like them and they shouldn’t be a couple with all the stuff... Involving everything. I just don’t see it working out. Ever.

70. My favorite TOT character is... I actually don’t know. Chase is a sweetie, and Debbie has an amazing contour. I can’t really choose, I guess. Oh, wait, the prairie dogs. They are my favorite.

75. My least favorite CAP character is Anja. I just don’t like her all that much. She was a good character I think, but the other ones are so much deeper, you know?

80. Okay, there were two 79s in the list, so technically 80 is 81 and the second 79 is eighty, so I’m just doing both?? My favorite DED character is Mason. I relate to him so much and I just feel like I’d be friends with him. He makes WAY too much sense to me. He also def has Asperger’s like me, so that’s cool. My least favorite is Obediah Sta-- *ahem* I mean Victor. He likes to destroy Ryan’s happiness. I don’t like that.

85. My favorite MED character is a tie between Sonny Joon and Patrick Dowsett. Sonny, for obvious reasons (it’s Sonny), and Patrick because... Patrick. I just love him. The Ultimate Nancy Drew Himbo. He hits all main points perfectly. Hunky, kind, stupid.

90. My least favorite SEA character is probably Soren. He just... Was meh. I did like his background and everything, but the other characters had more appeal than he did.

95. Nope. I did not play that game.

100. What got me into the books? My mom. She had a ton of antique Nancy Drew books at home. When I was about... Six, I read The Secret of the Old Clock. After that, I was hooked. Altogether, I’ve read the yellow books about 3 times each. Yeah, I was that kid.

105. As stated in the previous answer, I was six. If we’re talking games, I was hanging out with my childhood bestie and her older sister was playing DDI on the computer as we were having a dress up tea party (where I was a princess pirate because you can be both). I saw her looking at all the crabs and I was just like, “Why are you looking at crabs?” And she just said, “I need a GPS!” The Next month, my friend and I played Creature of Kapu Cave together. It was awesome.

110. Um. Well, I was.

115. Oh, yes, I have a collection. I have a TON from the 1930s and some from the 1950s and 1960s. A have newer ones too, but I’m proudest of my super old ones. I don’t have a picture right now because I’m at college and don’t take my collection of antique books with me, but maybe when I get back home, I’ll post them.

120. My least favorite character overall has got to be Alicia Cole. She just was a weak character and a terrible person and the whole situation with her being infatuated with Jason, a minor, creeped me out. There are other characters I hate and all, but I draw the line at lusting over a minor while also being sort of in control of him. Jason deserves better than that.

Keep asking questions, guys! I love asks, tbh.

#asks

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uncontrollablyme · 6 years

Text

The night I wanted to say no.

***Writers note/trigger warning: After reading this back to myself, proof-reading, I want to warn you that this isn't for the weak. It is a difficult topic and hard to read. I wanted to warn you.***

I hadn't ever really dated as an adult. I was in relationships for the 14 years post high school. One of those almost killed me. I didn't use substances and barely drank. So once I was free, my drug of choice was going out, and my favorite high was occasionally bedding men. I have to laugh for a second because I have no clue why I used the word 'bedding', I mean is that said anymore? What is the alternative, occasionally sluttin it up? Cringe, not my proudest times, but in comparison to the wild 20's most of my friends had while I was settled and had a baby, it could've been worse. It was the closest I could get to feeling, well anything at all. While I was emotionally disabled, it was some sort of connection, a use-use situation if you will. Now it was not too crazy, like I said, earmuffs for mom and dad anyway, but for anyone who likes to judge, here is one that will make it easy, and then I hope you feel like a real asshole for it. #nojudgementzone

Anywho, back to my story. I suppose I was out of my old life for about a year when I started going out. The attention was a welcomed change and hearing that I was attractive to someone, whether it was a pickup line or not, took some getting used to. I was so accustomed to being degraded and belittled, it was almost difficult to even accept a compliment at first. But I did enjoy it, of course, I mean who doesn't?!

So there I was, frequenting a popular dance spot at the time, a regular Saturday night, having a blast. I was completely naive to drugs, and date rape, the only sexual violence I encountered was in my relationship, and at the time, I thought I had no say because we were in a relationship. (sadly) So this attractive guy comes up and dances with me and we have a blast! We end up hanging out the majority of the night and then exchange numbers. No, this is not a one-night-stand story, he actually wanted to take me out on a date. Something I had not done, like ever, in a dating type situation. The previous relationships just kind of were, there was no "dating phase" just a jump right in kinda thing. So he calls the next morning and asks me to an early dinner. We meet at a local spot and again, enjoy each others company. He was super charismatic and funny, not to mention good looking!!

He tells me how much fun he is having and how he doesn't want the night to end, but he knows it's a Sunday and I have to pick up my son, (sweet of him to care) but would I like to go to his place, "just around the corner" and watch a movie. I had no idea what I was getting myself in to and had zero reasons to think he wanted to cause me harm. I also loved the positive attention and desperately missed the company in a dating setting. So, I agreed. We could hang out some more and I would still be in time to pick up my son. And, this guy was really awesome, and into me! Duh, of course, I will.

So we drive separately to his house, and we walk in, movie ready. But wait, his roommate is there, watching TV, "we can just watch it in my room, follow me" as he grabbed my hand. No introduction to the roommate, a rather large man, who just looked me up and down. I felt this uneasiness and once we got into his room, I knew I was in trouble. He locked the door behind me, and said to have a seat... looking behind me, the only "seat" was the bed. I uneasily sat on the edge and tried to calm myself. He was actually putting the movie in and grabbing me a bottle of water out of the mini fridge... this was fine, right?!

Not twenty minutes into the movie, things were not fine. He began getting closer and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled back and put my hand up to his chest to stop the advance "I thought we were just going to watch a movie" I said. He laughed, "Well I have got you here now, don't I?" And he came in again, more forcefully. Let me tell you about split-second reactions... it is like trying to make a decision, within seconds, on hyperdrive. Reaction. Everything in me said "fight! run!" but there was an awareness to the situation instantly, retreating back to the abusive relationship knowing that every time I fought back I lost way worse than I ever did just taking it. Just take it. And so I did. I enabled the third F often forgotten in flight or fight, I froze. I decided not to scream for help because what if the roommate was in on it? I didn't fight because the force of him on me was already so oppressive that I could barely breathe. I didn't have a weapon or my phone (he courteously took my bag for me at the door). I decided to concede. In a flash, imagining not getting to my baby because I was in a hospital, or worse, made me take a back seat in my own body.

I had become a pro at separating body from mind and feeling, over the years of abuse. I knew how to detach from this because I had been with men unemotionally. And there was a tremendous weight, a guilt almost… no definitely, from social experience, like I deserved what I was getting. You know, I went to his house after all. I even drove there. And I went into his room, willingly. And maybe I looked cute so I must have been asking for it. I had recently been out with different guys, so I must have wanted this. As if simply being around another human, meant I was signing up to be raped. The idea that I had voluntarily gone there, I didn't fight him, meant I couldn't even call it a violation. Split seconds.

And then, just numbness.

I know it was extremely rough and volatile because I was a wreck down there for weeks. I know it lasted for around a half hour or more because by the time he was done the movie was still on, but near the end. Scared to move, he said with a smile, "Do you know your way out, or need me to walk you to your car?" Like all of this was commonplace for him. As if he wanted to seem as though he was a gentleman and wanted to make sure I got out okay, after obliterating my body. What is happening to me? I gathered my clothes, limped to the door grabbing my bag and clutching it to me, exited as quickly as I could. The roommate mumbled something, but I just made myself focus on the door and getting out. Completely overwhelmed I made it to my car, I dropped all of my belongings in the passenger seat and sat there staring at it all, knowing in mere minutes my baby would be getting in the car and I had to pull myself together. Don't cry. Don't feel anything. I swallowed everything that had just happened, I decided to never tell anyone and to bury everything about the last 24 hours. To forget his face and where I was, compartmentalize it all.

Easier said than done because even sitting was painful. Going to the bathroom was excruciating. I winced during every shower and prayed that the condom he used worked as I awaited test results. To put it in perspective, I went through 15 hours of labor before having a 9 pound 6 oz baby, and I had been sexually assaulted before.... this was different. Maybe because the mental anguish I tried to bury only compounded the past abuse, maybe just the sheer violence I had endured. Probably both.

I can't tell you what he looks like. I can't tell you where he lived, outside of a general area. I remember the smell of his comforter, oddly. I remember the force in which he assaulted me, and the pain I felt as soon as he was done and I got away, that lasted for weeks. I remember throwing my phone across the room when I saw his number come up on my phone 3 days later. I remember thinking that people would say it was my fault. And until last Saturday night, I never told this story in detail, to anyone, let alone the world. But after I spoke about it Saturday, as with most other topics, I share because I can. I am sick to my stomach and a little achy all over from the intensity of the suppressed memory, but I can share, so I am compelled to.

My hope is that it reaches someone that needs to know they are not alone. That they know that no matter what anyone says or thinks, it is not their fault. I don't care if you are naked and drunk, high and all alone with your ass up in the air, none of that makes another person violating you acceptable. Sexual violence is a horrible experience, whether in a relationship or in the clutch of a stranger. No one "asks for it", and the notion that it is deserved is disgusting. It's like saying the person who got their face chewed off by a bath salts eater shouldn't have looked so scrumptious. Disgusting. Seriously.

So if it is you, hear my words above. If it's someone you know, share it. If it is for a movement, count me in. There is help available.

It is never okay to cause harm to another human, with negative intent. Not ever.

Sending out some love y'all

#rape #assault #no means no #date rape #abuse #survival #resiliency #share your story #hope #help is available #consent

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chosemypain · 7 years

Text

whoops, my fingers slipped

“Lost my mind and found my soul”

Gabriel Lorca/Katrina Cornwell (past/background)

What if Lorca and Cornwell had a daughter?

Word count: 1980

Rating: T

For @sour-blue-milk and @icecream-junkie

lost my mind and found my soul

2232

The night they saw the Perseids meteor shower hadn’t been the first time it happened, Kat and Gabe, fresh out of the Academy with the whole universe in the palms of their hands, drunkenly fumbling on the tray of his truck while the sky lit up above them. They were celebrating; the ceremony had been earlier that afternoon, their first assignments sent out later that evening. The Class of 2232. Just the thought of it made Gabriel grin. An empty bottle of single malt whiskey – a graduation gift from his father – lay beside them, forgotten as they burrowed closer together, sweaty and lightly panting.

It wasn’t love, he’d tell himself later, but in that moment, it sure as hell felt like it.

—- Julia was born eight and a half months later to a father light years away and a mother who’d been forced to give up on her dreams – neither parent really ready for what was to come. She was a wild child, obstinate and tenacious, with a strong moral compass to match, but adored by both parents. She filled a hole in Gabriel’s heart that he never knew was there, and from the moment she wrapped her little fingers around his bigger ones a month after her birth, he’d been hers completely.

2238

“Daddy, why can’t mommy and I come with you to see the stars?” Her voice was light and sweet, like the lullabies he used to sing her when she was a baby, and the thought made his heart clench. She was growing up so fast, and he was missing so much of it.

“Your mom’s busy with the clinic, Julia. You know how much she loves her work.”

“But I miss you when you’re gone!”

“I miss you too, baby.“

“— Julia, time for dinner!”

“I’ll comm you again tomorrow. Give mom a big kiss from me.”

2244

“— She’s eleven, Gabriel. She’s a big girl. What were you expecting me to do, put my life on hold until she’s 21?”

Gabriel crossed an arm tightly across his chest, the other pinching his nose as he sighed. “I thought you were happy at the clinic, that’s all. If you really wanna do the graduate program at the Academy, I’m not gonna stop you, Kat, you know that. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried about my daughter.”

2246

The first thing recently promoted Commander Gabriel Lorca did when he arrived home from Tarsus IV was pull his daughter into his arms and bury his face in her hair. More than 4000 lives had been lost in only a few short months, murdered by the governor of the colony. The images of the dead had haunted his dreams since the massacre, all wearing his daughters blue eyes and Kat’s smile.

He told Kat about the nightmares after Julia went to bed and she held him close as he sobbed into her hair. It was a moment of weakness, he’d tell himself the next day, as he kissed her goodbye before leaving for spacedock. One that he wouldn’t let himself repeat.

After all, there’s no room for tears in the Captain’s chair.

2251

“Congratulations, Captain Lorca.”

“I could say the same to you, Captain Cornwell.”

Who would’ve thought it. Their teenage selves would be ecstatic – Kat and Gabe, high school sweethearts, both receiving command of their own ship within the same week. For Gabriel, the Buran after the resignation of his former commanding officer. For Katrina, the constellation class USS Exeter.

All in all, 2251 was quite a success year for the Cornwell-Lorcas, with Julia being admitted to Starfleet Academy in the fall, eager to follow in the footsteps of her parents and finally make it to the stars.

2255

Her daughter’s graduation was one of the proudest moments of Rear Admiral Katrina Cornwell’s life. They had a family dinner to celebrate that evening, with Gabriel even managing to take leave for a week to celebrate his daughter’s achievement (thanks to a few strings pulled by a certain member of the Admiralty).

“A toast! To one of the finest the Academy’s ever seen. Congratulations, baby. You should be proud.” Gabriel raised his glass of single malt, shooting a crooked smirk at his partner. (Not wife. Never wife. He’d asked, once or twice, but marriage to ones insubordinates could put both of their careers at risk, and that was a step neither was willing to take.) They had grown apart since Julia had left for the Academy, both having little excuse to see each other outside of a work context now that their little girl was all grown up, but the respect and care they felt for each other was still there – and would likely always be.

“Should I tell you where you’ve been assigned, or would your future Captain like the honor?”

“Welcome to the crew of the Buran, Ensign Lorca.”

Julia’s beaming smile that night was one Kat never wanted to forget.

2256

—– The Klingon ship had come out of nowhere.

It was meant to be a routine supply run, far behind the front lines, with the Buran dropping much needed rations to an Andorian mining colony which had been targeted by the Klingons. Less than a month into the war and the Federation had already suffered so many losses. It made Ensign Julia Cornwell-Lorca’s heart hurt.

She’d always told herself that she was brave, that she could handle anything space would throw at her — but less than a year in to her professional career, Julia was starting to doubt it.

They had been doomed from the start; one Cardenas-class Starship equipped with minimal weapons against a Klingon Bird of Prey – a ship designed to win battles and crush its enemies? The Buran didn’t have a chance, and her colleagues knew it.

At least she’d die alongside her father.

Phaser blasts and photon torpedoes rocked the ship, Engineers were running around frantically, trying to patch up whatever they could in a desperate last attempt to keep the ship together, but something was preying on the young officer.

So far, all of the blasts had been targeted at their weapons, secondary propulsion and navigation systems. From her father’s tactical analyses of Klingon methods of combat, the avoidance of the main power grid and warp core could only mean one thing.

The Klingons weren’t going to destroy the Buran.

They were going to board it.

The motions to the ship stopped abruptly, followed by the familiar feeling of a tractor beam latching itself onto the hull of the ship. Panicking, Julia dropped her hyperspanner and fled Engineering, sprinting up the corridors towards the Bridge. Her Dad would have a plan. Of course he would. He was Gabriel Lorca, tactical genius. They’d be fine. They’d all be fine. The more she thought it, the less she was starting to believe it.

‘Julia! Julia, where are you?’ Her communicator chirped on her belt, her father’s desperate voice ringing through the speaker. She stopped running and fumbled to flip open the device.

“Dad? I’m on C deck, near the turbolift. What are you doing?”

‘Stay right there. I’m on my way.’

Less than a minute later, Julia felt herself being pulled tightly against her father’s chest, just the way he had when he’d returned from Tarsus IV. The hug lasted only a few seconds, but there was a startling finality about it which made her wary.

“I need to get you off this ship.”

Before she knew it, one of his hands was tightly gripping her forearm, almost dragging her towards the escape pods. Lorca wouldn’t let go, despite all her protests, cries that he shouldn’t be doing this, that he was the captain of this ship and should be up on the Bridge, trying to find a way to save his crew. He stopped and let her go when they reached the emergency airlock, fingers sliding down to loosely grasp her smaller ones.

“We have no weapons. Our shields and propulsion systems are down. We’re about to be boarded. Jules, you’ve seen the reports. You know what the Klingons do to their prisoners. It’s not a fate I’d wish on my worst enemy.”

“So why are you letting it happen to your crew? Dad, I don’t understand…”

“I’m not.” He steeled himself, taking a deep breath and settling his hands on her shoulders, deep blue eyes so similar to her own filled with sadness. “The ship is set to self destruct in less than four minutes. And when she blows, you’re gonna be in an escape pod, safe and sound. That’s an order.”

He took her hand once more. Julia’s mind was rushing as Gabriel led her up to the small platform outside the ships sole remaining escape pod, the rest having been damaged in the attack. She watched his free hand lift to the control panel, hovering over the button which would open the pod and set the automatic launch sequence.

“Dad, don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.”

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Tell Katrina— that I’m sorry. I love you.”

It was all so fast from there. The doors slid open, just as she broke free from the light grip he held on her hand, using both hands to shove him into the escape pod, palm rising to SLAM down on the button before he had realised what was happening. Slamming his fists against the door, kicking it, trying emergency override controls to stop the launch. All in vain. The pod had already been decoupled. There was no going back.

Raising her hand against the safety glass of the airlock door, she smiled at her father for the last time as the pod launched, a soft “I love you, too“ falling from her lips as the tritanium hull began to pull and creak around her, the ship lurching as the warp core breaches—-

—– a bright flash of light, and then there was nothing.

A bright flash of light, and she was gone. They’re all gone. His crew, the Klingons, his daughter… It was BLINDING, and with a cry of pain, Gabriel Lorca collapses, the world going black.

Katrina Cornwell’s heart stopped when she heard about the ambush, thinking the two people she loved most in the world had both died at the hands of the Klingons.

It was later that she had heard the truth, when hours after the initial attack, a Vulcan ship found Gabriel’s body in the lone escape pod. At first, it gave her hope. If there had been one pod launched, surely there would have been more – or so she had thought, until the searches were called off a week later at the word of a quickly recovering Captain Gabriel Lorca at the shocking revelation that he had blown up the ship to save his crew from a slow, painful death.

After what he’d seen on Tarsus IV, she almost wasn’t surprised.

An official memorial service wouldn’t be held until after the war, but as soon as Gabriel had been discharged, he approached Kat at HQ, a bottle of single malt whiskey in one hand, a holo of Julia as a little girl in the other.

They drove out to Iowa that night, and as they watched the sky dance with the Perseids meteor shower above them, empty bottle of whiskey lying beside them, forgotten, Gabriel told her what had really happened on the Buran.

“She had my eyes, Kat.” He murmured. “They’re a part of her that I’ll have with me ‘till the day I die, to— help me remember.”

Katrina nodded in understanding. She didn’t forgive him, not yet. Christ, she wasn’t sure she ever would, but she understood, and for Gabriel, that was enough.

#sour-blue-milk #icecream-junkie #i was expecting to write 200 words #whoops #2000 words later #au #gabriel lorca x katrina cornwell #lorca x cornwell #unedited and written in the early hours of the morning so please excuse all mistakes

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ninequestions9 · 5 years

Text

Steve, 88, Retired Public Service Worker

What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?

Sometimes being blind, I’m being dismissed. I do 99% of stuff myself. The only thing I can’t do is take a shower. I dress myself, I wash myself. The amount of stress that’s involved in a place like this (nursing home) is unbelievable. Unless you’re living in a place like this, you really have no idea. Most of the time with the older people they say “Well, my family dumped me here.” We know that’s not true, but I guess in some cases it might be. If that’s not the case, then the visits from family are too infrequent. I remember sitting out in the lobby and in each one of the corners there was a different family from a different ethnic group. The four families were so full of laughter! The thing that really got to me was that the main speaker in each group was the person that was being visited. They had an opportunity to talk and they just rambled on and on. That really did my heart good.

2. What trait do you wish you most had?

I think I’m getting it now. It took all these years to get it, but self esteem. Especially when I’m talking to young people, self esteem is so important. High school is a very difficult time for many people. One of my favorite lyrics from a country western song is “Some girls don’t like boys like me, but ah, some girls do.” I tell that to boys and girls. I’m already thinking about my next life. I believe in reincarnation. Already I’m planning for it. I’m starting to play the piano and I’m going to get a guitar. In my next life I want to be a world renowned entertainer. Music just brings out joy in me. You may have been happy sometimes, but until you’ve experienced joy you really don’t know. You don’t know what’s happening! You can’t speak! Most of the time I use the F-word. That’s what’s important to me, joy. As usual I go ranting off and I forget what I was saying.

I was so afraid of rejection. My high school graduation was my worst social event of my life. I didn’t ask anyone to the dance. My mother was working with someone who’s daughter was 15 or 16. They hooked us up and we went and it was terrible. They had a contest at the senior prom. Guess who was voted king and queen. Me and the girl.

I want to be the best entertainer in my next life, but I also want to be able to tell stories. Story telling is a tremendous science. My next door neighbor was going to Princeton University for telling stories.

3. What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?

Trust. Truth. Just to be there, just to listen, and allow me to be a friend of theirs also. I like someone who’s a friend to me, but I like being a friend to others as well.

4. What makes you feel brave?

Bravery’s not something that you really think about. When you have courage, you don’t know you have it you just have to use it. It’s when someone that you love is in need. We’re hardwired for somethings. We don’t need to think about them we just do it. Bravery is one of those. Like now, I felt brave just a little while ago. I was going to leave (the dinner event at the nursing home). If I can’t sit with my ex-girlfriend….she gave me a call and said her son and daughter-in-law are going to come, and they invited me to sit with them. When I arrived, they said this and that about me not sitting with them, so I said if that’s going to be the case then I’ll leave. I made a decision and I stuck with it. Seeing things through is brave.

5. What makes you feel vulnerable?

I can’t tell you what a happy guy I am. I stop and I cry at times. I think of my kids. It’s a long story, but my daughters haven’t spoken to me in a long time or had a meaningful conversation. Their mom died a tragic death and money was involved, that kind of thing. I’m not angry with them. I was more pissed off about not being able to sit with my ex-girlfriend.

At this day and age, I have a feeling that I believe in what I believe in. I believe in another life. I see what music has done for me. I hear a note and I just break out in tears. I talk to God in a different way. I talk to God like I’m talking to you. Vulnerable to me is not being able to do something to help someone else. If someone needs some money and you can’t help them out. Those are the things that make me feel vulnerable that I can’t do something like that.

6. What was your proudest moment?

When my wife and I were living in a single house, down in the cellar was a concrete floor with a dish washer and other garbage. My wife would wash and dry the clothes like 24 hours a day. She had that ringer type washing machine where you put your hands in there and your hands get all red. One night I just felt so vulnerable because I couldn’t help her, so I took it upon myself to work all the over time I could and I got a nice check. I said to me wife “Let’s go! I’m going to buy you a washer and dryer!” Even now I’m still proud! The way that felt! I was so fuckin’ proud. That’s the one I think of.

7. Who is your role model / hero and why?

Women come to my mind. What they’ve done. Like my wife, the one that died in a tragic accident. What she had to go through raising the kids. I would have to say her and I wasn’t always a nice guy. I cheated on her. After 30 something years. She closed the door on me and I can’t blame her. I always wanted to go out and learn. I wanted to meet people. What she had to put up with, I don’t know another women that had to do what she did. She did a good job. She was 16 years old when she got pregnant. I was 19. I was going off to the Korean War. The day before I was going over seas, my girlfriend and I went to take a ride and we wound up stuck in the mud by Fort Dix. Then one thing led to another and the first time we ever had sex together she became pregnant. When I went over seas, I found out and I came back and we got married. Then I converted to Catholicism. I’m happy with my wife and what she did and how she did it and how the kids ended up.

8. What is one life lesson you’d like to pass down to future generations?

Always be yourself. Always put yourself first. Always put yourself first when you make a decision. Always go with your feelings. Two things you must have complete control over: your money is number one. Don’t let anyone control your money. Not your husband or anyone else. The second thing is your body. I tell that to guys and girls, not just the girls.

9. What is your opinion of Jesus?

I’m not an advocate of organized religion. I don’t have an opinion. I make observations. When you have an opinion you always have to end up defending it. The best thing I ever did for my kids was take them out of catholic school and put them in public school. When they went to catholic school they felt like they were prisoners. My son came to me one time and said “Dad I want to have a earring.” I said “I don’t care if you put it in your nose. Just be yourself.” They all ended up that way. They all had to be let loose. My son was a star basketball player at Woodbridge High School. He got a scholarship to Princeton, got his PhD. The kids used to have parties and so a mom was telling me about one of these parties at her house. She came down in the basement to the party just to let the kids know the parents were home and she said to me, “Steve guess who was the only kid who stood up when the parent entered the room. Your son.” It’s the little things like that. When they were in a room, they were awesome. They were bright, friendly, good looking, smart.

Jesus lived. That’s a fact. I’ve always had a problem with this “The only son of God.” I’m reading a story now from a spiritual entity. It’s a 35,000 year old guy who is speaking through channel in a woman. I listened to an interview with five of these different religious guys and they were all plagiarizing each other. They all do the same thing. If you find one that’s different let me know. Two things: they keep you fearful and they keep you ignorant. If you don’t do this, you’re going to go to hell. What about hell? There is no hell. Hell was a figure of speech a thousand years ago. When someone died and didn’t have money for a grave, they dug a shallow grave and that was hell. During the night the wild dogs came and devoured the bodies. There’s not hell. There’s no devil. But I know Jesus and he and I are buddies. I think about us both sitting on a bench and I call him my brother. At the Big Bang, God created everybody. Everything’s already been done. The future’s already been laid out. God created little flickers of light and each flicker of light was a soul. He created an unknown number of souls. I believe in Christ’s teaching. I don’t believe this stuff about the only son of God.

My wide was having her fifth child. I was on strike for seven weeks. We had nothing. So who are we going to go to? We’re going to go to God. We went to this woman for help. She said “Hold up. Why did you buy these encyclopedias? Why did you do this?” I said “Sister, I need help. I’ll pay you back.” But guess what! The catholic welfare bill turned me down! Can you imagine? I have four little kids and a pregnant wife. I’ve met a lot of people and asked a lot of questions and many many people feel the same way about organized religion.

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transssexualheart · 7 years

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll

1- what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpaper?my phone has pictures of my friends and my desktop is still dan avidan i keep forgetting to change it

2- have you ever had a crush on a teacher?no

3- what as your last text message?sent? it was “me too”

4- what do you see yourself doing in ten years?probably dying

5- if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?in someone’s arms

6- what was your coolest halloween costume?uhh probably last years even tho it wasn’t that great bc i made it myself and had a styled wig and everything

7- what was your favorite 90s show?i was not alive in the 90s

8- who was your last kiss?still zee

9- have you ever been stood up?no

10- favorite ice cream flavor?strawberry or cotton candy

11- have you ever been to las vegas?no

12- your favorite pair of shoes?probably my pink ones they’re soft and have tiny one inch platforms

13- honestly, have you ever cheated on a significant other?no

14- what is your favorite fruit?watermelon or strawberry

15- have you ever talked to anyone on tumblr that your could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?well i mean one of my exes i met over tumblr so it’s not a wild concept to me but currently i’m not like,,, interested in others

16- are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?long term

17- do you smoke? if so, what?no

18- what do you do to get over your anger?rant about it on this blog or sometimes to a friend i guess

19- do you believe in god?idk man

20- does the person you’re in love with know it?yeah

21- favorite position?sleeping

22- what’s your horoscope sign?leo

23- your fears?being abandoned, myself sometimes, everyone secretly hating me, never being loved, etc

24- how many pets do you have? what kind?three, a cat and two fish

25- what never fails to turn you on?uhhhhhh

26- your idea of a perfect first date?idk uh,, get food maybe hold hands a little

27- what is something most people don’t know about you?idk,, i guess most people don’t know what i look like during a full on breakdown that i’m not trying to disguise

28- what makes you feel the happiest?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

29- what store do you shop at most often?i dont shop a lot

30- how do you feel about oral? giving and or receiving? never gave or received, both sound good to me tho

31- do you believe in karma?idk

32- are you single?yeah

33- do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? the best way to apologize is to mean it and not expect forgiveness if you really fucked up and to be genuine and honest and if you do those things it shouldn’t really matter whether you choose flowers or candy

34- are you a good swimmer?i mean,, i won’t drown

35- coffee or tea?tea

36- online shopping or shopping in person?i do both

37- would you rather be older or younger than your current age?i’d prefer to keep my age so i don’t fuck up the timeline of my life thank u very much

38- cats or dogs?how can i choose

39- are you a competitive person?i don’t think so

40- do you believe in aliens?yes

41- do you like dancing?don’t really do it much

42- what kind of music do you listen to?many kinds, mostly anything but country

43- what is your favorite cartoon character?how can i choose just one

44- where are you from?albany

45- eat at home or eat out?eat out

46- how much more social are you when you’re drunk?i’ve never been drunk

47- what was the last thing you bought for yourself?i don’t remember

48- why do you think your followers follow you?idk actually why do u guys follow me

49- how many hours do you sleep at night?it varies, sometimes like ten sometimes none

50- what worries you most about the future?i pretty much rely on the fact that i’ll probably die before it matters but if i don’t die i’ll have no idea what i’m doing

51- if you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?not very, i’m not friends with myself tho so

52- are you happy with yourself?no, never really have been

53- what do you wish you didn’t know?i don’t know

54- what big lesson could people learn from your life?i guess,, not to take people for granted

55- if you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?what

56- what’s your favorite website?i visit this hellsite most often i guess

57- what’s the habit your proudest of breaking?the only habit i could think of that i broke was biting my nails

58- what was your most recent trip of over 50 miles?idk how many miles i travel bc i don’t drive

59- what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?idk

60- what do you order when you eat chinese food?sweet and sour chicken and white rice

61- if you had to be names after one of the fifty states what would it be?no

62- if you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?alright so there are three things that i feel like i’m able to do well those three things are draw, write, and play pokemon and i’m a failure at everything else i do so probably an art class or creative writing class

63- favorite kind of chips?i like doritos

64- favorite kind of sandwich?grilled cheese

65- which do you use more often, dictionary or thesaurus?dictionary

66- have you ever been stung by a bee?yeah, only once, and i have a history of not fucking eating for whole days and that was one of those days and i guess the sting just triggered the dehydration and all that and i got really dizzy and my legs gave out and my mom had to carry me home

67- what’s your favorite form of exercise?my what now

68- are you afraid of heights?more afraid of what i’d do to myself than the height itself

69- what’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?eight grade science, i had a bunch of friends in that class and we hated the teacher at the time and the shit he did and we were constantly like going insane and here’s the main reason: my mom went to school with that teacher and she managed to find a fuckin. story that he wrote in 11th grade and she showed it to me and my god it was so bad and the main character was such a self insert and i was like “oh my god this is amazing” and you know what i fuckin did? u know what i did? i decided to make c o p i e s of the story so i could bring it into school and show my friends. so i had like ten copies and we gave one to my friend kevin however. we gave it to him DURING science class. so instead of doing his work kevin is sitting back there reading this story and laughing at it and the teacher is like “what are you doing kevin?” and kevin, instead of putting it away and being like “my work”, was like “oh i’m reading your 11th grade story” and at this point i’m like “oh fuck” and then the teacher asked where he got it and he points to me and i’m like “OH FUCK” so he comes over and asks where i got it and i’m like “surprise my mom went to school with you” and he’s like “i haven’t seen this story in years” and guess who’s like “DO U WANT A COPY” and reaches over me and into my backpack to pull out a fuckin copied version :^) anyway that day was wild some girl i never talk to who didn’t even know my dead name let alone my actual name came up to me asking for a copy

70- what’s your favorite breakfast?pancakes or waffles

71- do you like guacamole?no

72- have you ever been in a physical fight?no

73- what/who are you thinking about right now?um

74- do you like cuddling?yes

75- are you holding onto something you need to let go of?can we not have this conversation over tumblr’s ask system thanks

76- have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?i live with myself every day lmao

77- favorite city you’ve been to?nyc!!

78- would you break the law to save a family member?probably

79- talk about an embarrassing moment?me, as a person

80- are there any causes you strongly believe in?idk

81- what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?not sure

82- fav day of the week?none

83- do you consider yourself sexually open minded?idk what that means

84- how do you feel about porn?i don’t watch it really, but if that’s your thing then it’s your thing

85- which living celebrity would you like to know?idk

86- who was your hottest ex?it’s hard for me to like,, determine that because my sexual attraction to someone usually isn’t there until i start liking them romantically (in most cases, there’s people i never liked romatically but found attractive or people i found attractive before i liked them but that’s not the case with anyone i actually dated) and it disappears when i don’t like them romantically anymore so ???? also rude question especially considering at least two of my exes follow me here

87- do you want/have kids?don’t have them, might have them but that’s dependent on whether or not my partner is able to take care of kids i’m not gonna have kids if i know that my partner can’t be a good parent to them. also still not sure if i want them myself

88- has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?no

89- do you get easily distracted?hell yeah

90- ass or titties?why… choose…..

91- what is your favorite word?to use in writing, probably “gentle”. to use in speech, probably “fuckin”

92- how do you feel about tattoos?i want a lot, i have two

93- do you have any pets?this was already a question?

94- how tall are you? 5′5

95- how old are you?14

96- 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?i don’t get complimented on specifics, the most i get it usually like “you look nice today” or sometimes ppl say they like my makeup but that’s not a physical feature of mine

97- is there anything you’re really passionate about?i love,, the jims and the piano

98- do you have trust issues?idk, i don’t let most people see me cry or see me having a breakdown and i only really trust a few people with most stuff and it’s usually because there was something that happened in the past that allowed them to already know stuff like that and they were good about it and i was like “oh, then they’ll be alright about it and i don’t have to explain myself to them because they already know” but?????

99- do you believe in love at first sight?god no, what if they’re a dick?? u can’t judge a book by it’s cover. also i think that now i’ll have to know someone pretty well to start liking them because of past and current events

100- what are some words that you live by? why? i don’t have a specific quote or anything but. if you love someone tell them. i’ve said this before, and i don’t mean specifically romantically in fact in some cases you should keep that to yourself so no one is made uncomfortable but like. tell your mom or your best friend or your dad or your grandma that you love them because they could be gone real soon or you could be gone real soon and they should know that you love them before that happens

thank u for asking

#ask tag

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