#will and his stray murderer that hes just never gonna let go of

[shilohgreen]

"you can let me know if you ever want me to read to you..." // @pumpkinstabs

[hanjisick]

yandere!stray kids reaction to … your confession.

warning. this is not how i portray the members of stray kids or how you should either. this is purely for entertainment purposes.

cw. alcohol. implied murder. stalking. kidnapping. manipulation.

bang chan.

it was late at night. he had just taken you out on an ice cream date, and now you both were lingering on the doorstep of your home, trying to make the last few moments last forever.

“i think that i might like you, no, i think this is love, chan.”

his heart raced at the confession, but he didn’t hesitate to reply.

“i love you too, y/n.”

he would go home thinking about this moment, his stomach full of nervous butterflies.

the first thing he would do is clutch the tank top that he had stolen from you in his hands, sniffing the material and thinking back to that beautiful moment.

this was all part of the plan. once you finally loved him, it would be so easy to just take you.

and that’s exactly what he planned to do.

lee know

you would’ve been minho’s girl for long before falling in love with the monster. i mean, how could you love this man? even if he was obsessed with you, to the point of being more than willing to spill blood for you, the thought of loving him was terrifying.

but slowly, through months upon months of losing your mind, it would’ve been while he was cooking dinner for the two of you.

his back was facing you as you sat on top of the counter, swinging your legs back and forth.

something about the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he measured ingredients, or the knife in his hand as he crushed the garlic.

minho caught you staring eventually. “what are you looking at, my love?”

a blush dusted across your cheeks. “you look handsome like this.”

his chopping halted. it would’ve been the first time that you’ve seen him truly flustered since meeting him. “i do?”

“i think i love you.”

changbin

it would be hard to not fall for the only man that you were ever allowed to see.

every day, like a mantra, you were told the same thing: you only need changbin. friends don’t compare to changbin. your family is changbin.

eventually it would’ve been hard to not give into the conditioning.

it was late at night and changbin still wasn’t home. you caught yourself feeling disappointed, looking forward to the one person that you saw in the day.

so when he arrived back home, you couldn’t help but jump up, greeting him at the door.

“i missed you.”

he stood in place for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around you too. “what’s gotten into you, my darling?”

“why were you out so late?”

“i had to take care of some things,” he pulled away, nervously, “and you missed me?”

“of course i did. i love you.”

a wide smile spread across his face. “you love me? really?”

hyunjin

“i can’t believe he’s gone. i loved him so much, i don’t even know what to do with myself now.”

hyunjin rubbed your back soothingly, rocking you back and forth as you let out deep sobs into his shoulder. “i know you loved your friend, he was very kind to you.”

too kind. but you wouldn’t understand that— which is why he had to eliminate him.

“who’s gonna be there for me now? he always knew what to say and do.”

“i will always be right here. always. i can promise that to you.”

after a moment of sniffles, you pulled away slightly, staring at him with your puffy eyes that broke his heart. “i love you, hyunjin.”

“what do you mean?”

“i think i’m in love with you.” you were hysterical from the loss of your friend, not having slept for over 24 hours, and your head fuzzy from crying all day.

he was going to take advantage of that. “i love you too, y/n.”

jisung

the boy had been stalking you for ages. following you to classes, work, home— he knew everything about you at this point.

his first thought when you walked towards him, before he could even process your confession, was that you were so close to him. you had never been this close. he had only seen you from a distance.

the smell of you made him dizzy. he had sniffed your shampoos before, sure, stolen your underwear, bought your perfumes to spray around his house— but this was a whole new level and—

“hello? excuse me?”

he was brought back into reality as you waved your hands in front of his face, the butterflies replaced themselves with shock once you had asked for his number, admitting your feelings for him.

“a crush? me? you?” he stammered.

“i’ve seen you around and i think that you’re very attractive.”

felix

you were drunk out of your mind, right on his lap, dozing off on his shoulder. he was already losing it.

“felix, i think i have a crush on you.”

“what?” he pulled you up to look him in the eyes.

you giggled. “you’re so handsome. i’m so in love with you.”

he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

perhaps you wouldn’t feel the same if you knew how many times his hands have gotten bloody for you, exactly how far his infatuation with you went.

“i don’t know what you’re thinking, lix. tell me.”

instead of telling you his feelings, he decided to show them.

his hand met the back of your neck, leaning in to meet your lips.

seungmin

“i need to be honest.”

“yes?” your friend turned towards you on the couch, “you can tell me anything, y/n.”

“i think i’m in love with you.”

it was like the world had stopped for him.

no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. he was supposed to confess to you once the time was right. he needed to be confident and ready with your favorite flowers and a speech.

“seungmin?”

he couldn’t even respond, his entire face hot from your confession.

“you can tell me if you don’t feel the same way, i hope it doesn’t ruin things between us.”

“no! no!” he stammered out, “i love you too. i’ve loved you forever.”

it took him a moment to gather his thoughts together, “you’re beautiful. i’d love for you to be my girlfriend. i would treat you like a princess, every day of my life.”

now it was your turn to become a mess.

jeongin

it was all an accident.

you meant to send that text to one of your friends.

‘jeongin was so cute today. u should’ve seen him. it took everything in me to not kiss him’

within minutes, he was knocking on your door with the wind knocked out of him.

“you weren’t supposed to see that,” your face was red, not even trying to excuse your actions.

“what about me was cute?”

“your hair. it was messy— and your jacket. i loved it. and fuck— i just love you. i have a crush on you, jeongin, you caught me.”

“i’ll wear that damn jacket every single day for you to say that about me.”

“what?” your eyes widened.

“i love you too, y/n.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Summer Games BLgin.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Those Greeks did have that reputation for naked dudes rolling around together so I'm declaring it...

BL OLYMPICS!

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates through mid August, just for funzies.

July 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - I guess mass murder is nothing next to having to raise funds for your basketball club. There were a lot of water sports in these eps (no not that kind). I’m not complaining. The street BB playoffs were fun. Frank is GOOD. I didn’t know he played. They aren’t using doubles for this. Meanwhile, it’s a bummer this one can’t be a poly romance. 

Winner!

Gold in Handball

for that shower scene in ep 9 (also... ya know, DUNK TANKS)

Balls in hands of all types.

Briefly must chat about that intro/outro music. It's like Thai autotuned Stray Kids. Which means I kinda adore it.

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 5-6 of 10 - I guess he’s had a long time to learn how to fight really really well. This is a fun show. It does occasionally feel like a bunch of gay boys playing dress up. I LIKE P’Third a lot. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be an actual baddie. I’m finding the music a little intrusive in these episodes. I love the deconstructed suits look, and the velvet blazer. Very 90s. The confessions scene was very cute. It’s a good thing Vee is so easy-going, because the last few months of his life have been truly insane. And now he’s queen of the castle? Still working his convenience store job?

I honestly thought we'd just get kisses halfway through not a full on sex scene. But it was very sweet and tender. Appreciated, boys, thanks. However it’s never a good sign when the sex scene is it at the halfway point, it just means there’s gonna be a lot of trauma to come.

(I gotta say every time Daou smiles he actually looks his age.) 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I like them now. I mean as a pair of characters. I wasn’t really sold on the main couple until this episode, and now I’m interested (yes I am shallow). The boy with the glasses is definitely sus. I’m quite drunk, thus I have to say Sailub is the hottest thing on my screen right now. Metas's taste in interior design sucks. OK, that physical therapy session was sexy. I wasn’t sold at first, but now I love this side couple too.

Argh. SailubPon kiss so well. Also COUNTER LIFT!!!! 

Silver in Weightlifting

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I’m the one who always says this stuff, but this pair might be the best at relationship heat. Let me try to explain. They are good at putting on screen the kind of NRE, want to bone, just really into each other physically and also connected and loving. It’s the way their bodies always arch towards each other. They’re very comfortable in each other’s space in a way that’s really rare to see out of Any BL country but Taiwan. I think they might be my favorite couple currently active. I don’t know how to put it except that

it looks like they want each other,

it looks like they like each other,

it looks like they’re into each other,

and it looks like they GET each other.

It’s nice to see on screen. The plots/stories/narratives that they're given aren’t doing them any favors, but man they’re a good pair. Meanwhile, was I screaming the whole time don’t rip the sample of the custom piece? Yes I was. But it was still sexy.

Sam getting discovered was fun! Yo is gonna burn his arse good.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Okay! Officially boyfriends. I almost like the friendship btw Atom and Mudmee better than the romances. But they all so cute. 

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I hate the gf intern so much. I think she is past redemption now - time for death. What is it they say about ADs? they do all the work, for none of the credit but all of the blame.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I guess Peak’s dad really is that awful. Jane is the beard? Got it. The show got suddenly quite sweet and complex. Where did that come from? Meanwhile ,Almond + Latte + sex education is awesome. Great trope we rarely get in BL. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Look, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with the show. I like to be driven one way or the other by Meme. Trash watch here. (delayed this week, I can't face it)

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 12 - Out the gate I don’t like it. I don’t really like the teasing thing and the acting is poor. That said, neck kisses in the very first episode do make me happy. So I’m gonna keep watching. As for ep 2, I like the sides, and we have gay brothers trope activated. I also like the paranormal element, it adds some much-needed tension, but it is still a little slow (typical of a pulp).

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like our poor lost puppy slowly figuring out what’s going on. It’s so elegantly done. Also, the the boy begs his quiet seme to SAY something, you know he’s gonna DO something instead. 

I could have done wihtout the pan around the head kiss. We over that, 8 years ago.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Why don’t I like this show? I had to think about it quite a bit. It’s the power differential. I never enjoy it when the character with less power is the one doing the pursuing, it comes off as too desperate or something. In this case he is: from the country, poor, and younger, It just makes Takara’s dismissive attitude and snobbery unpleasant to watch. Also, you know me, =/= obsessive stalker behavior. 

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) ep... - Great, a rich boy studying business at uni, suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I try to catch up next week.

I have a source, but I simply didn’t have time to watch it. So sorry. Too much traveling too much BL to keep up with. A perfect conflation of conflicting priorities.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

64.media.tumblr.com

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up Next!

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return, and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: the premise? Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

8/4 Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please Gaga pick this one up? They made it for US.

8/7 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Weds ????) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sex by blackmail. I am intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs WeTV ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This week's adventures in caption "out of" and "off" are not the same thing. This is an uncomfortable thought.

I'm so tired I'm seeing double. This is all you get.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves) )

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[writeforfandoms]

State of My Head 1

Find the series masterlist

Your life is pretty good. Run around as a cat, get into places you shouldn’t, and get back out. Occasionally shift back to human to flirt. And on your way again you go. Until you make the mistake of trotting right into a military base and getting caught.

Warnings: Lying, mentions of hunting and eating small critters, reader is a literal cat (cat shifter), swearing, minor violence, world building, shifter etiquette, some self-deprecating humor, mention of death, threats of violence. 

Word count: 4.8k

Eventual Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x f!shifter!reader (I swear this has a happy ending)

Nighttime jaunts were your favorite. Fewer people to avoid, less noise, fun hunting. Plus, as a cat you could see pretty well in the dark. It was great. 

Tonight, though, you had a new goal in mind. There was a military base you’d never seen the inside of. And the middle of the night would be a perfect time to explore. 

It didn’t take long to find a gap at the bottom of the fence big enough for you to squeeze through. You were small as a cat, no bigger than the average house cat. You trotted past a dirt path, ignored an obstacle course altogether, and finally started sniffing around some buildings. The base was big, larger than you’d anticipated. Interesting.

Also lacking in rodents to chase, at least at this time of night. Damn. 

You scaled a perfect tree next to one building, sharp claws making the task easy. One leap and you went from the tree to the roof of the building, padding up to the very top of the roof. Then you sat, curling your tail over your feet, to observe your temporary territory. This was a good spot - you could see a good part of the base, there was a nice fresh breeze up here, and all was quiet. 

Honestly, a good napping spot.

You’d just wake up with the sun and be on your way again before anyone noticed you. 

Things didn’t quite work out that way. You woke to a creak and a sudden shift in the lighting, sunlight blocked by something. You blinked your eyes open, expecting a shadow. 

And found yourself looking instead at a man. 

You were on your feet a moment later, hissing as he reached for you. 

“It’s okay kitty,” he said, voice soft and easy. “C’mere, I’ll help you down.”

As if you needed help down from the roof! You hissed again for good measure and then bolted, running straight past his outstretched hand and ignoring his shout. You jumped to the tree, pausing to regroup. 

An entire group of soldiers stood around watching events unfold. There was some good-natured laughing and teasing as the man on the roof got back down, swearing. 

You eyed the drop, thinking about how best to proceed. This had definitely not been part of the plan. 

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty,” another man cooed, both hands lifted towards you. “We’re just trying to help. You’re okay. Nobody is gonna hurt you. C’mere, pretty kitty.”

Almost despite yourself, your ears pricked forward, listening to him. He sounded nice, at least. You crept forward slowly, and a few of the soldiers moved closer too. You backed up, and the man hissed at them and flapped one hand at them until they backed off again. So you started forward again, carefully, until you could sniff the tips of his fingers. 

Well. He smelled okay, at least. Still moving cautiously, you moved closer, letting him grab you. He was gentle, so you decided not to attempt to murder him. Even better, he promptly cuddled you into his chest, scratching your ears. 

Okay. This one could live.

“Wonder where she came from?” one of the others asked, sneaking closer. Not sneaking very well though. 

“No idea,” the one holding you said. “Doesn’t have a collar.”

“Could be a stray.”

“What would a stray be doing in here, though?”

“I’m sure there’s mice and things for her to catch, that’s probably what brought her here.” 

You let the talking wash over you, amused. This wasn’t bad. You’d let them coddle you for a few more minutes and then be on your way. You could run faster than them, after all. 

“What’s all this?”

The soldiers all stopped and turned to look at someone new. He was wearing a silly-looking hat. 

“We found a cat, sir,” the one holding you said. Very unnecessarily, if anyone asked you. (They didn’t. Nobody ever did. It was enough to hurt a girl’s feelings after a while.) 

“I can see that. It doesn’t belong on base.”

“We thought she might be a stray,” one of the others offered. “We were going to bring her to you, sir.” 

He snorted, finally walking over closer, eyeing you. One hand reached out, and for a moment you thought he was going to pet you. Rude, since he didn’t let you sniff his hand first, but whatever. 

Except he scruffed you.

You yowled plaintively as he held you aloft, dangling uncomfortably from his hand. Squirming only got you held tighter. This was embarrassing - you hadn’t been scruffed like this since you were a kitten. 

“She doesn’t belong on base,” the hatted man said. “I’m sure you all have things to be doing.”

With a despondent scattering of “yes, sir”s, the soldiers all left you to your fate. 

“Well, guess you’re stuck with me until I can get animal control out here.” His voice was low and rumbling, and he carried you with him towards one of the buildings. It was really uncomfortable, and you yowled again, trying to grab something to hold on to. 

“Captain,” a new person called, and, really, how many people were there on this base? 

“Gaz.” The captain paused, at least. 

“Why do you–nevermind. Give me the cat, you’re making me sad just watching you carry it like that.” 

“It’s a stray,” the captain pointed out, even as he held you out. 

Gaz was quick to scoop you up, one arm sturdy under your paws, his other holding you steady. “She, I think,” he said, looking down at you. You blinked up at him, already relaxing again now that you weren’t being dangled about. “Doesn’t look like a typical stray.”

He may not have meant it as a compliment, but you took it that way. You knew you looked striking as a cat, with bold rosettes and spots, eyes and ears rounder and bigger than a typical housecat. 

The captain grunted. “Still doesn’t belong on base,” he grumbled. 

“Aw, c’mon, cap. Can’t hurt to let her hang around for a few hours.” Gaz shifted his grip on you to let you sniff his fingers. Oh, you approved. And he smelled nice! You liked this one. 

“Just don’t let it get into any trouble.” The captain waved one hand, heading back inside. 

“You won’t cause any trouble, will you?” Gaz murmured to you, low and soothing. He had a nice voice. 

You blinked at him and very deliberately meowed. Human-raised cats did that, and you didn’t want him thinking you were more than a typical cat. 

“Good kitty.” He scratched under your chin, and you stretched your neck out to give him more room. Mmm, that felt nice. 

“Hey Gaz, whatcha got there?” 

“Soap.” Gaz shifted his grip on you just a little, and you blinked at the new person. Soap, apparently. Ridiculous. “Someone found a stray cat on base and I rescued her from Cap.” 

“Pretty kitty,” Soap murmured, holding out a hand for you to sniff. Oh good, you’d found the polite ones. “Bit exotic, isn’t she?”

“I thought so too, but she’s well-behaved.” Gaz stroked one big hand down your back. 

“Huh.” Soap tickled under your chin. “Ye wanna come cuddle, kitty?” 

“Nuh uh, she’s with me.” Gaz turned slightly away from Soap, much to your amusement. 

“Ye can share,” Soap wheedled. 

“Maybe later.” Gaz smirked down at you as he started walking. “You’re on duty with me, cat.” 

Well. Not the worst thing in the world. You did wait until he had stopped somewhere again to crawl up onto his shoulder, balancing across his shoulders easily to watch the world from this new vantage point. He didn’t even protest, just let you get settled there. 

And you stayed there until lunch time. Gaz sat at a table with Soap, the two bantering. But you mostly ignored them, because Gaz tore pieces of meat off his sandwich and fed them to you. You accepted each morsel delicately, careful not to bite him by accident, quite content with how this was going. 

A good-smelling man hand-feeding you bits of his own lunch? Yes, thank you. 

“My turn,” Soap declared once lunch was over, picking you up and cuddling you to his chest. You made a disgruntled noise but decided to show mercy and not kill him. 

“Take it easy with her, yeah?” Gaz did not try to grab you back but he did watch Soap as the Scot left with you. 

“Well, pretty, let’s torment some rookies, aye?” His fingers scratched through your fur, which was acceptable. For now. But you still scrambled up onto his shoulders as soon as you could, much preferring this to being cradled like an infant. 

Soap was okay, but he was a little too handsy. He kept reaching up to rub your fur or play with your tail or even rub his nose into your side. That got him a gentle swat to the head. But otherwise you bore the indignity with aloof grace. 

“Johnny, if you're not careful, that cat’s gonna kill you.” 

You did not jump at the voice behind you, because that would be undignified. You did not hiss either. You might’ve dug your claws in, but Soap turned too fast anyway. 

“Nah, she’s a right sweet li’l thing,” Soap cooed, reaching up to tickle your chin again. 

And that was enough of that. You tensed, gathering yourself, and jumped from him to the big masked man, who didn’t even flinch when you scrambled up to his shoulders. Ha! Even taller now! 

“Easy, cat.” This one had a nice voice, deep and rumbly. But he let you settle in without touching you, which you appreciated. 

Soap was pouting when you looked at him, and you turned your face away from him, haughty. That’s what he got for ignoring your signals to stop. 

The big masked man didn’t seem to mind you perching on his shoulder as long as you kept your claws to yourself. And you were well-mannered, so of course you kept your claws to yourself. He didn’t annoy you, after all. 

It was an arrangement that worked well for both of you until dinner time. 

You spotted Gaz across the room and shamelessly abandoned your current perch, trotting under tables and around soldiers until you could leap up onto the table next to Gaz. You sat, tail curling around your paws, and chirped at him. 

“Hi there, beautiful,” he greeted, holding out his hand for you to sniff. You headbutted his palm, eyes half-lidded. He already smelled warm and familiar, like safety. 

And, just as you’d hoped, he fed you bits of his dinner. You could get used to this kind of treatment. 

“Gaz, I thought you were going to get rid of the cat.” The captain sat across from him, looking disgruntled. 

“She’s sweet,” Gaz defended. “And she’s not hurting anything.”

The captain grunted, eyes narrowing at you. “At least get her off the table.” 

Gaz didn’t protest, just picked you up gently and settled you on his lap instead. You hunkered down there, gently kneading his thigh. This was a comfy spot. 

After dinner seemed to be downtime. Soap once again attempted to nab you, which you deftly avoided by skittering out of the mess hall. 

Which meant you had some time to yourself. 

You meandered around the base, staying out of reach of the soldiers with ease. Honestly, it was amusing to watch them light up at seeing a cat. Especially since none of them had any idea that you were more than just a cat. 

You did a bit of hunting, more for fun than anything. You were still satisfied with the meal Gaz had shared with you. 

The base quieted, settling in for the night. And you crept towards the barracks, slipping in an open window and then making your way through the halls, sniffing under every door until you found the right one. 

And then you sat and scratched at the door. Politely. 

When that didn’t elicit an immediate reaction, you scratched some more. And then stretched up on your hind legs to sniff the handle and see if you could turn it without shifting back to human. 

“Hey, kitty.” 

You startled, tail poofing up, and spun to look at Gaz. He looked abashed, crouching down slowly with his hands out. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he cooed, gentle and warm. “You looking for someplace to sleep?” 

You chirped at him, consciously willing your tail back to normal. You’d still have to groom it later. When Gaz hesitated, you chirped again and threw yourself against his calves, winding between his feet with obvious affection. 

Amused now, he opened the door for you, letting you in first. 

An opportunity you didn’t miss. 

His room was neat, of course. And smelled like him. Which was amazing. You checked under his bed (boring), on top of his bed (pillow was too flat), and even batted at his footlocker (smelled interesting but also closed). 

“Mischievous,” he said, still amused. “Alright, if you wanna stay you gotta settle down, right? I need sleep.” 

You meowed at him, but made sure you weren’t too loud. That would count as agreement, right? 

He ran gentle fingers over your head and behind your ears before he turned to start undressing. You thought about watching… but gave him his privacy, turning instead to sniff the rest of his room. Humans were so body-shy, for reasons you’d never understood. 

The bed creaked, and you trotted back and jumped lightly onto the bed. He laid down, getting comfortable, and you followed suit. 

You only took up part of his pillow.

“Cat,” he spluttered, one hand gently nudging you to the side. “Oi. I need to breathe, yeah?” 

You lifted your head to give him a supremely unimpressed look. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he grumbled. “This is my bed.”

You put your head down again and closed your eyes, pointedly. He huffed something between a sigh and a laugh, but he settled down and stopped moving. You took it as agreement. 

You woke when he got up, stretching out and giving him a bit of privacy to dress for the day again. 

“Don’t think I can keep you with me all day,” he admitted, reaching over to pet the top of your head again. “Probably don’t wanna come running with me.”

No. No you did not. Smart man. You rewarded his intelligence by headbutting his hand. 

“Well, tell you what, I’ll see if I can spot you for breakfast, yeah?” He smiled, scratching under your chin gently. “Just don’t let Price catch you, he’ll toss you out.” 

You purred your agreement. You couldn’t entirely blame the captain - he just didn’t seem to like cats. (You could take that personally. It was in your nature to take that personally. But you decided to be the bigger person here and simply decide he was tasteless.) 

So you had some time to yourself. You avoided the many feet and scaled the nearest tree, using trees and rooftops as your highways. The day was beautiful, sunny and not too warm, and you found a good napping spot on top of a roof. Out of sight from below, this time. 

You did not show up to breakfast, because you didn’t want to be too predictable, but also because you didn’t want to seem too smart. So you napped through breakfast, content to just lay in the sunshine. 

You could get used to this kind of life. Quiet. Having your own territory, not having to fight for space or food. Especially being hand-fed by a gorgeous man. 

But then you also ran the risk of being discovered, if you stayed. And that could end poorly. 

Someone wearing a new cat scarf kind of poorly. 

You stretched languidly before getting to your feet. The safest thing to do would be to stay another day or two and then be on your way. If you really wanted stability, you’d find somewhere in a city to be a human too, carve out your own space as both cat and human. 

It was something to consider, at least. 

Going across rooftops, you investigated more of the compound. You could smell the shooting range, making your nose wrinkle and your ears flick back. But you gamely kept on, sniffing around and exploring. 

This really was a good spot, though. No competition. Lots of room to roam. 

And mice. One of which you caught, shaking until its neck broke. You weren’t really hungry, didn’t need it for kittens or anything. 

So you trotted off to a quiet spot near the fence and buried the mouse. 

By the time you meandered your way back, the sun was high in the sky. Probably lunch time. Mmm. Hopefully Gaz would agree to give you food again. 

You peeked into the mess, looking for your person. He was, of course, near the back, with Soap and Ghost (although Ghost didn’t have food in front of him). Pleased, you trotted over to the table, tail held high. 

“Hi kitty!” Soap reached one hand down, wiggling his fingers at you, clearly trying to tempt you closer. You ignored him and jumped into Gaz’s lap. 

“Looks like she likes him better,” Ghost drawled. 

“She has good taste,” Gaz agreed with a proud smile, offering you his fingers to sniff. You headbutted his hand before tipping your head to invite chin scratches. He obeyed easily. Such a good human, you really needed to think of an appropriate way to reward his good behavior. 

Especially since he once again began offering you pieces of meat. 

“Gonna spoil her,” Ghost warned, though he made no move to actually stop Gaz.

“She’s just a cat,” Gaz said with a shrug. “Besides, if she’s really a stray, she might wander off again.”

“Not likely, with how you’re feeding her.” Ghost watched as you delicately took another piece of lunch meat from Gaz. 

“She’s fine.” Gaz smiled down at you. You slow-blinked up at him, warm and content. 

And he let you ride around on his shoulder the rest of the day, so long as you kept your claws to yourself (which you did). 

You could get used to being a shoulder cat. 

You spent the next two days similarly - hunting for fun and to keep your reflexes honed, eating the bites Gaz gave you, running around base, and sleeping on his bed. If you hadn’t given up on the concept of having your very own person, you would have wanted someone like Gaz. Someone who treated you gently, and gave you room to be your own cat, and gazed at you with affection. 

But it was not to be. For one thing, he thought you were a cat. For another, you knew you needed to move on soon, before you got any more attached. 

You stretched in the early morning light in Gaz’s room, and then blinked. Wait. Something felt wrong about that stretch. 

Your hand bumped Gaz’s shoulder and you blinked again. Hand. Not paw. 

Oh fuck.

Gaz opened his eyes, still sleepy, and you froze, your own eyes wide. He blinked once. 

And then yelled, startled, falling out of bed. You yelled too, because oh shit this was bad. You dove off the bed, uncaring that you were human and nude, and yanked the door open. You shifted mid-step, skittering on the slick floor for a few moments as you tried to get enough traction to run. 

By now other doors were opening, people looking out in sleepy confusion. You were half-way down the corridor when you heard Gaz behind you shout, “Get that cat!” 

Soap got close, attempting to straight-up tackle you. He almost managed it, except you swiped at his hand and then used him as a platform to leap off. 

Your paws didn’t even hit the floor as Ghost grabbed you out of mid-air, scruffing you firmly. You yowled, as loud as you could manage, twisting and fighting like hell. At least until someone swaddled you in what smelled like a t-shirt, forcing you to stillness. When your claws poked out through the shirt, a towel was added to the mix.

Leaving you thoroughly burrito’d and helpless. 

“Gaz?” Soap asked, even as he took you from Ghost. “What the fuck, mate?” 

“Price’s office,” was all Gaz said, staring hard at you. You flattened your ears to your skull, growling low and threatening. It was all you could do in this position. 

The three made their way to Price’s office, still sleep-rumpled but wide awake now. Price joined the group, unlocking the door and ushering everyone in.

Gaz deliberately locked the door again. 

“What’s this about?” Price asked, arms crossed over his chest. 

Gaz, however, was staring at you. “Change.” 

You hissed a little, trying to wiggle out of your forced cocoon. You had no idea what would happen if you shifted while you were so tightly wrapped, but you didn’t think it would end well for you. 

“Put her down.” Gaz flicked his gaze to Soap before focusing on you again. 

Soap obeyed slowly, putting you on the couch. You immediately rolled to loosen the towel and then wiggled your way free of the layers of fabric. A quick glance around showed no way out. 

This was going to be unpleasant. 

You shifted back to human, wrinkling your nose at the shift in perspective. Soap swore, Price grunted and stood up straight, and Ghost pulled a gun on you. Where he’d had it, you had no idea. 

“Gaz?” Price demanded, low and furious. 

“Apparently, she’s not a cat.” Gaz was still staring at you, lips thin, jaw clenched. Oh he was angry. “Woke up to her like this.” 

You sighed. “Shifted in my sleep,” you admitted. No point denying it now. 

Price’s jaw clenched and he grabbed one of the extra chairs, pulling it over until he could sit in front of you. With the three others behind him, it was quite clear who was in charge here. “Put that on.” He nodded to the shirt still laying next to you.

You huffed but obeyed. Humans and their weirdness about nudity. Honestly. The shirt was soft at least and covered you well enough. 

“Why are you here?” Price watched you carefully, but you were less concerned about him. Your gaze drifted to Gaz, taking in the tense line of his shoulders, the anger in his eyes. 

“I was curious.” 

“Yeah? About what, exactly?” Gaz asked, voice sharp. 

You didn’t flinch, but you did look down. “This is unclaimed territory, figured I’d stick around for a few days, do some hunting. Relax. And then move on.” 

“Hunting, huh?” Price leaned forward. “And who have you been contracted to hunt?”

“What?” You blinked at the non-sequitur. 

“Or you could just tell us who’s paying you.” Gaz rocked forward a little on the balls of his feet, hands clenched into fists at his sides.

You blinked. Twice. “You… think I’m a spy?” 

“Fits, doesn’t it?” Price tipped his head a little, restrained violence in his eyes.

“Not really.” You leaned back, drumming your fingers against your arm. “Look. We don’t like people to know we exist, that’s how we got nearly hunted to extinction before. I’m not a spy, I really was just wandering through.”

“Wandering through a top security military base. Sure.” Gaz sounded unimpressed. 

“Really!” You held your hands up, palms out, at your sides. “I haven’t got a clue about anything here, except that the food is pretty good and I don’t have to fight for the territory.” 

“Then why were you sticking so close to Gaz?” Price again. The two were doing pretty well at tag-team questioning you. 

You shrugged, struggling to put your thoughts in order. “He smells good,” is what you settled on. At the disbelieving scoff from Soap, you shrugged again. “He never smelled… wrong. Angry.” You couldn’t help looking at him again. Sure, your sense of smell was muted as a human, but you could still smell well enough to smell the anger pouring off him now. “It’s hard to explain.” 

“You expect us to believe that you chose Gaz, at random, because he smelled nice?” Price raised one eyebrow slowly, conveying exactly how foolish it sounded. 

“That and he never grabbed me.” You grimaced. “Things are simpler. As a cat.”

Price leaned back in his seat slowly, considering. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested and shipped off to a lab.” 

And there it was. Well. At least it came from Price and not from Gaz. You weren’t sure you’d recover if it came from Gaz. “Being turned into a scarf isn’t on my list of things to do this year.”

Soap was the first one to get it, his eyes going wide. He glanced at the others, shifting his weight. Gaz stayed perfectly still. 

“Cap,” Soap murmured. 

Price pushed to his feet, narrowing his eyes at you. “Do. Not. Move.” The four of them moved, stepping out of the room, although Ghost remained in the doorway, both blocking your exit and keeping his gun on you. 

He was absolutely prepared to shoot you. You were absolutely prepared to be shot before they could ship you off to a lab. 

Unfortunately, they spoke too quietly for you to hear much, just the murmur of their voices. Gaz still sounded angry. Maybe one day he’d forgive you.

Sighing softly, you closed your eyes for a few moments. This was a right mess, one you’d be lucky to make it out of with your life. How many had you used up by now? At least five. At least. 

Here’s hoping you still had one left. 

They must have reached a consensus, because they trooped back inside and shut the door again. Price sat again. This time Gaz stayed back, arms crossed over his chest. 

“You have two options,” Price told you, calm, collected. “You tell us everything we want to know, or you get sent to a lab.” 

“I’m not telling you where to find my family.” You narrowed your eyes at him, testing. 

Price didn’t respond to that. Instead he started asking you where you’d been before. Who you knew. Who you saw. Where you stayed. 

Most of it was easy to answer - you’d spent most of the last two years as a cat. You hadn’t been kidding when you said life was less complicated as a cat. Food was less of an issue when you could hunt for yourself. 

The questions about how you shifted, though. Those were harder. You gave as little detail as possible, very well aware that they could hypothetically use that information to find others. 

You had no idea how long you sat there answering questions. A long time. Hours. Long enough for your throat to go dry, for your stomach to complain. Both of which you firmly ignored. 

Finally, though, Price nodded once. “You’re to stay with one of us until further notice. Any attempt to leave will have you shot. Any attempt to shift without permission will have you shot. Understood?” 

“I understand.” You shifted your weight, part of you railing against being threatened. The rest of you was far more pragmatic and simply accepted it. 

Still better than being sent to a lab. 

“Good.” Price stood and fished out a pair of sweatpants, tossing them to you. “Put those on.” 

You obeyed silently, though you had to roll them a few times so they didn’t trip you. Price stepped out of the office first, and you followed quietly. 

The meal that followed was easily as tense as the last one you’d had at home. And silent. Nobody seemed inclined to talk, and you weren’t going to be the first. You just picked at your food, absently wishing to go back to the day prior, when you’d settled on Gaz’s lap and eaten morsels from his fingers. 

Damn you were in deep. That was a problem. Especially considering you could tell he was still mad at you. 

“Stay with Soap,” was all Price told you as he rose. Gaz was quick to follow his captain without a single look at you.

Ouch.

But you stayed with Soap. Because you did not want to get yourself shot just yet. 

“Ye really were just gonna leave?” Soap finally asked, once the two of you were outside, walking around base. He didn’t seem inclined to hold still, something you were rather grateful for. After the stress of the morning, stretching your legs felt nice, even if it was only two legs. 

“Yes.” You shrugged. “I’ve spent a lot of time wandering. Wasn’t planning to settle down just yet.” 

He went quiet again at that, and you let him think. You had your own things to think about, after all.

[pathetichimbos]

Well, guys, a single person told me I should make this into a post, and so now you're all getting another fabulous take on Thomas Hewitt I've been looking for an excuse to talk about.

Question: 'Do you think realistically would it be hard to get into a relationship with Tommy?'

Short Answer: Yes! And no.

Ha, you really thought there'd be a short answer to this? No, let's dive in.

Thomas, on the surface, is a very awkward, to himself kind of guy. He doesn't like stepping out of his comfort zones, and he hates change. He thrives on strict routine, and isn't one to do something without being told. (ex: he doesn't take initiative at the slaughterhouse, he does exactly as he's told and doesn't stray from those rules)

He has an extremely strong sense of familial bond and ties to his family, he wouldn't betray them for anything, (and yes, that includes you too). It's a huge cultural things in small towns. It doesn't matter who your family is or what they've done. It's true ride or die mentality.

Considering these things, if you want to hope to have a relationship with him, you're gonna have to take up their lifestyle. Every part of it.

If you've ever been to an old southern woman's house, you know how insulting it is to refuse food. It's practically the same thing as spitting on their shoes and slapping them in the face. If you refuse a home cooked meal, especially when you're still considered a 'guest' in the house, you will end up on their bad side.

And Thomas is a Mama's boy, through and through, if his mother doesn't like you, he doesn't like you.

And that mentality is only doubled for the Hewitts. Their family has starved, and if you've ever struggled for food, you understand why they won't let it happen again. I could go into a whole in depth analysis on the Hewitt family and their cannibalism, but let's get back to Tommy.

Thomas doesn't trust people easily. It's in their family, in his blood. The Hewitts (especially after they start murdering people) are suspicious and unforgiving people. People will often assume that they became isolated after the town died out and everyone left, but in reality, they were isolated long before that, as Luda Mae, Hoyt, and even Monty (though much less than the other two) wouldn't tolerate Tommy's mistreatment and abuse.

And as for Thomas' personal distrust, I can almost guarantee there were several times people would pretend to be his friend or even go as far as 'asking him out' only to immediately burst into laughter and mock him the moment he got excited.

Now, he's much more closed off and distrusting of strangers kindness and friendliness.

...But, he's a huge romantic.

He absolutely loves the idea of having someone to love.

His favorite books Luda Mae would read to him as a child were the princess stories. He would dream of being the prince charming, saving the princess from the retched beast so they could get married and live happily ever after.

But, as he got older, he started believing he was better fit for the role of the filthy monster that never falls in love.

Packaging all this up into one neat present, you get a pretty clear idea of what kind of man Thomas is.

So, how does one actually end up in a relationship with him?

It's simple! In the most complicated way possible.

First, is actually meeting him in a none murderer-victim setting, because once you hit that area, there's really no going back. If he's told you're next, you're next.

He's going to be really suspicious of you, no matter what you do really. Even if you do become 'friends', he's a rather anxious man, and he's going to have doubts for a long time.

You're going to have to get on everyone's good side. Like I said before, he cares deeply about his family and their opinions, and being around them and accepted by them is a non-negotiable. And I don't just mean Luda Mae, I mean everyone, including Monty and Hoyt.

Speaking of Hoyt, that will have it's own ground rules as well.

Thomas, despite being a big hunk of a man who could easily toss around someone twice Hoyt's weight, is not the man of the house. Hoyt is like a father figure to him, and he looks up to him. Well, not in every way, but you get the picture.

He isn't going to take well to you bad-mouthing Hoyt. Of course, he doesn't care if you want to rant about the man's annoying presence sometimes, but it depends on how close the two of you are and what you're saying.

If you try to accuse the man of being abusive, or not caring about his family, Thomas isn't going to like it. Hoyt is a mean hothead, sure, and by today's standards, most people probably would consider him abusive to a certain extent, but this is a small southern town in the 1970s.

Hell, most of the 'abusive' traits Hoyt show are still practiced in small towns to this day, and are considered normal behavior. Again, I could go into a whole spiel about Hoyt's character and actions, but I'll get to the point.

If there is one thing true about Hoyt, it's that he cares about his family. Every action he takes is in their interest, and he'd put his life on the line to keep them safe, including Thomas. Hell, he protected Tommy as a kid just as much as Luda Mae did.

So, yea, really any bad talk about his family is going to get you on his bad side.

But, let's say that you follow these rules, and you mesh well with his family and him, how long will it take for Tommy to actually catch feelings for you?

...Pretty much almost immediately.

Thomas is reserved and untrusting, yes, but he catches crushes faster than a Tommy-hater can catch these hands. (for reference, that's really fast)

He's a sweetheart, and eager to be loved and accepted, so the irrational, romantic side of his brain eager hops on the Y/N train the moment you show him any real affection.

But as for actually loving you? That's going to take a really long time.

Luda Mae always raised him on the idea that love can't exist without trust, and he takes that to the extreme. He literally won't consider a relationship with you until he can completely trust you with his whole heart.

And once that trust is earned and the two of you become 'official', that's it. He's in it for life. In his eyes, you're the only one for him, and he takes that belief to heart. So it is extremely important that you only enter the relationship when you're 100% ready. He won't understand the concept of needing a 'break', or time apart. Once you're in it, you're in it, and if you ever leave, there's no coming back, and Thomas will leave your life entirely, with the rest of the Hewitts shunning you as a result.

Because of this, it's also important to remember that there really is no such thing as 'harmless' flirting with Thomas. He doesn't understand the concept of friendly flirting. He's either going to assume that you're mocking him or that you actually do have feelings for him.

Communication is a huge key with this man!!! He doesn't pick up well on hints or social cues. Be up front of and honest about you're feelings or he will have no idea how you really feel, and it'll only cause heartbreak and confusion in the long run.

...Well. Now that I've practically made a How-to Guide on romancing Thomas, I think I'll call it here. Good luck on attracting your local Hewitt boys. See y'all in the next one.

[tightjeansjavi]

❆ I’ll have a blue heartache for certain ❆

A/N: thank you to everyone who is sending me requests for things that Joel Miller deserves most in the world <3 this one is VERY angsty, so buckle up 🥲

joel deserves nice things™ ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

~word count : 2.9k~

pairing | Joel Miller x Kansas City informant f!reader

Summary: to Joel Miller, you’re nothing but an informant rat in his eyes.

Warnings: angst, mean old man Joel, morally gray reader, Joel is a bit of a hypocrite, a sprinkle of touch depravity, Ellie is her sweet self, implied age gap but reader is of legal age, grief, humiliation, hurt and comfort, a sprinkle of fluff, small mention of Christmas, allusion to child loss, talk of violence, kinda unrequited feelings, mutual understanding, sorta a happy ending? +18 minors dni!

“I don’t take kindly to strays, let alone fuckin’ rats, sweetheart.”

This was your first interaction with Joel Miller. All muscles, no heart, or so you had perceived him to be. He had a soft spot for the girl that trailed alongside him. You knew this was a fact, and not a matter of opinion.

Regardless, Joel didn’t respect you, but he tolerated you just enough to keep you alive. He didn’t want any business in knowing why you became an informant, but he had no problem calling you a rat straight to your face.

It wasn’t a lifestyle you wanted. It was a choice, but one based around survival. And for a man so brutish, you thought he would understand, empathize with you even. But instead you were met with cold, hardened stares from piercing brown eyes.

Your very existence vexed him and made him question whether he was a hypocrite himself. What difference was there between a man that murdered innocents for survival, and a woman that turned men like him in to save her own skin. He didn’t want the lines to be blurred. He didn’t want to empathize with the likes of you. He refused it.

“You and I aren’t so different after all, Joel.” You tried to reason with him one day during the tireless journey to Wyoming in search of Joel’s younger brother, Tommy.

Ellie was lengths ahead of you and him when he literally slammed on the breaks. His abrupt halt had you nearly colliding right into his back from how quickly he had stopped.

He whipped around, jaw ticked and eyes blazed with fury that you would even dare to compare yourself to him, and he to you.

“You and I are nothin’ alike. I had my reasons, and you chose to take the cheap way out. Don’t think that jus’ cus’ some time has passed out here that I’m suddenly gonna start bein’ nice to ya. You’re a fuckin’ fool if you think that to be true, girl. I will never view you as my equal.”

His words sliced through you like sharpened blades dipped in putrid poison, souring your gut and springing tears to the corner of your eyes. Joel Miller was one mean, mean man. You stood your ground, and he stood his. His eyes flickered when a silent tear rolled down your trembling cheek. He said nothing more on the matter.

“What’s the hold up back there?” Ellie had turned back around when she could no longer hear either yours or Joel’s footsteps close behind her.

Joel responded with a grunt and, “nothin’s the matter.”

You stood there dumbly with your fists clenched tightly at your sides when you tasted the salty residue of your single stray tear. You were angry at yourself for allowing this asshole to make you feel weak. One day Joel Miller would succumb to you. It would just take some time. And as far as you were concerned, there was plenty of it to go around.

The seasons began to change gradually, as they always do, until winter arrived and it was already proving to be a brutal one. Frigid temperatures, ongoing blizzards, treacherous deep snow. These changes that inevitably brought new challenges were visibly beginning to affect Joel more than he was willing to let on. You saw right through his facade. He couldn’t hide from your trained eyes that easily.

As night began to fall the three of you found yourselves situated in a cave near the river. Being this far out in the wilderness was peaceful in a sense. The threat of people was non-existent, and the infected stayed closer to the cities. Out here you could see billions upon billions of twinkling stars in the jet black sky. The northern lights, a natural feat that you had dreamed of seeing as a child. It was even more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Bright, brilliant hues of greens, blues, even some pinks.

You were so lost in a trance of nature’s beauty that you couldn’t feel Joel’s eyes staring you down. Or the way he took notice of your almost childlike wonder at the night sky. In his mind they were just stars. He’d seen plenty of them in his lifetime, sure, but were they really all that impressive?

He shook his head at the thought of humanizing the likes of you. A rat would always be a rat, and not even the damn northern lights could change his opinion on you.

“Ellie,” he gruffly said, “get down from there before you break your neck.” He sternly requested the teen who was also gazing up at the night sky in the same manner as you were.

Ellie let out a huff of air before she climbed down from the rock she was standing on and joined you and Joel by the fire.

“So, I’ve been thinking, let’s say we find the Fireflies, and it all works. They draw my blood and put it through their fancy machines and pop out a cure. Then what? Like, what do we do?”

Joel brought his flask of whiskey to his lips, taking a small swig to help warm him up, and also ease the constant ache in his back. “Didn’t realize there was gonna be a ‘we’ in this scenario.”

Ellie gave him a funny look, one that he raised a brow at. “Okay, fine. What are you doing then?”

In Joel’s mind it was never an option to think about these topics before. Not when his only goal in mind was to find Tommy, deliver Ellie to the Fireflies. From there? He really hadn’t thought about it.

“It’s never been an option for me..” he cleared his throat. “Maybe an old farmhouse, some land..a ranch. That sorta thing I guess.”

Ellie brought her knees up to her chest, scooting herself closer to the fire, closer to him. “Okay, so, old man Joel, some kinda ranch. What kind though?”

He grimaced at Ellie calling him old. He wasn’t that old was he? “Sheep.” His response was flat. “I would raise sheep.”

“Sheep?” Ellie questioned.

“Yep. Sheep. They’re quiet, do what they’re told.”

You could feel yourself being drawn into their conversation bit by bit. You knew that Joel’s soft spot for Ellie was rising to the surface bit by bit, day by day.

“Sheep are nice. I mean, they are quiet, sure. But their wool is the best material to make sweaters, blankets—” you were cut off by his stern voice. Slicing you down yet again when you only had wished to be a part of the conversation.

“Ain’t nobody asked for your opinion.” Joel snapped.

“Joel..” Ellie let out a sigh. Her eyes met yours in an empathetic gaze. “Well, what about you? After all of this is said and done, where will you go?”

You ignored him entirely and instead focused all your attention on Ellie and her question. “I haven’t really thought about it either. Suppose that taking the ranch route wouldn’t be so bad. The country life is a peaceful one. Except, I think I’d have some cows..maybe some horses to keep my company.”

“Romantic” Ellie stifled a giggle. “Well, no offense to either of you, but I don’t think ranch life is for me. Sure, it sounds cozy, but all I’ve ever known is the QZ. In front of you there is a wall, and the ocean behind. There’s nowhere else to look but up.”

“Space?” You asked with genuine curiosity.

“Yes! I mean, look at it up there. So much still to be discovered. I read every book I could get my hands on in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell.” Ellie responded with pure enthusiasm.

“But you know who my favorite is?” Ellie leaned in close, awaiting both yours and Joel’s replies.

“Sally Ride.” You and Joel said in unison. Your heads snapped towards one another, eyes locking before he cleared his throat and tore his gaze from you.

“Sally fuckin’ Ride! Best astronaut name ever!” Ellie’s voice echoed through the opening of the cave.

“I’ll take the first watch.” You announced while grabbing your rifle from where it laid against one of the rock formations.

Joel was already standing up with his own rifle slung across his shoulder. “I got it.”

“Joel, I’ll take the first and you can take the second.” There was more you wanted to say, but with both his and Ellie’s eyes on you now, you refrained from saying more.

He responded with a curt nod before he made himself comfortable against the cave wall once more.

While you were up on the same rock that Ellie was on earlier, you could hear her and Joel still conversing. The conversation had taken a somber turn when she questioned whether the vaccine would work. Joel reassured her that it would, and Marlene knew what she was doing.

The last thing you heard was Joel telling Ellie to get some sleep and, “Dream of sheep ranches on the moon.”

He let out a frustrated grunt when he couldn’t quite tear through the strip of duct tape that he planned to use as a makeshift patch for his torn soles in his boot. Even the warmth from the fire couldn’t keep his toes at a comfortable temperature for long. The bitter chill was beginning to seep through the cracks of the worn material.

Can’t even fix my fuckin’ boot?

His internal thoughts plagued him. Made him feel weak, unreliable, a failure.

He tossed the roll of duct tape to the side with an irritated grumble. How the hell was he supposed to keep you and Ellie alive when he couldn’t even believe himself?

He refused to look in your direction when he heard the familiar crunching of snow beneath your boots. In his peripheral he saw your hand reach down and pick up the roll of duct tape.

“Need some help?” You asked, crouching down alongside him.

“Not from you.” His jaw ticked, nostrils flaring from the close proximity. It was as if you really were the plague, or some dreadful unnamed poison.

“So you’d rather let your toes freeze?” Your question hung heavy in the air. He reluctantly turned his head to the side. Eyes flitted upwards in brief contact before he scoffed,

“No. I’d rather not let my toes freeze.”

You tore off a strip of tape with your teeth, and only when he gave you the silent nod of approval, did you then assist in taping up his boot.

“If you clench your jaw any tighter, I’m afraid you're gonna end up breaking some teeth.” You murmured quietly. You tore off a few more pieces of tape and secured them around the hole in his boot. He was watching you intently as he tried to piece together your reasons for helping out someone who was so cruel to you. Why not just let his toes freeze and fall off? Why grace him with your kindness?

“Should hold for a few days I reckon.” You placed the roll of duct tape back into his bag while he watched you in silence.

“Look, you don’t have to answer this, but I just want to know the reason.”

“What reason?” He gruffly asked.

You sighed, leaning back against the cold cave wall. Your shoulders could have nearly brushed if it weren’t for how stiff he was sitting.

“The reason why you hate me so much, Joel.”

“Don’t be naive. I already told you that I have no respect for rats. You want me to fuckin’ say it again, huh?” He sneered.

“No. That’s not the reason. You think it is, but it’s not. Not when I know what you are too, Joel.”

“What the hell are y’goin’ on about? You’re an informer. A once FEDRA rat that probably sent god knows how many people to their deaths. People who were just trying to survive. People with families, friends, partners. You’re a selfish coward that only gave a damn about saving her own skin.”

You smiled sadly, resting your head back against the cave wall with your gloved hands between your knees. “And what about my own family that I was trying to keep alive? What about them, Joel?”

He didn’t know what to say. His words were lodged in his throat, trapped there and unable to escape. He never thought about you having a family. People you cared for as much as he cared for Ellie.

“I had a family once, Joel. People who I loved. And I would do anything I could to protect them and keep them alive. My parents were old. My siblings were too young. I was the eldest. Their only daughter that had enough fuckin’ guts to do some terrible, godawful things in the name of love. All for what? I failed them, Joel. I couldn’t keep them alive. Kathleen and her people overthrew FEDRA. Myself and my family were at the top of her list. She butchered them. Made it a public spectacle all because I helped turn her brother in with Henry. Her brother was a good man, he didn’t deserve to die, but neither did my family.”

“So, you can sit there and judge me. Call me a rat, a selfish coward, but then what of you? What do you see when you look into the river and see your reflection? I know what I see, Joel Miller. I see a man who is afraid of his own dark truths. His own skeletons in his closet.”

It felt better than you had expected to get this all off your chest. To tell this man your truth. To tell him the reasons for your actions. To show him that you weren’t so different after all.

He wanted to be angry at you. He wanted to scream, spit out hurtful words to beat you down further. He was a hypocrite all along and he felt humiliated down to his bare bones.

“I’m sorry.” He finally spoke just above a whisper.

“You’re only sorry because I’ve put you into a position where you’ve been forced to humanize me, Joel. You’re not actually sorry. You just feel like you should be.” You shook your head.

“No, that’s..not true. Darlin’, you’re right. You’re right about all of it. You see a man afraid of his own dark truths. I am that man. I’m the man that couldn’t keep his daughter safe. I couldn’t save her and I blamed myself for it everyday since. I couldn’t stop my own brother from losin’ himself entirely. I’m the reason he joined the Fireflies. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and I wanted to destroy it. All of it. I’ve got more blood on my hands than you could possibly ever imagine. I hate you because I hate myself.” He admitted.

“And yet I don’t hate you, Joel. I should, but I don’t. I can’t. I can’t hate someone who I see myself in. The ugly bits of survival, the bloodshed, the sacrifice. It’s all the same. We’ll do anything for the ones we love. It doesn’t make you and I monsters. No matter what our minds tell us what we are, we know the truth. We are all just people.”

Joel swallowed the visible lump growing in his throat. He could feel tears begin to prick the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away. His fists clenched at his sides. His breath shuddered when he felt your warm palm encasing his wrist. His head snapped in your direction from the contact. Brows furrowed, lips parting, eyes wide like a deers.

“It’s okay, Joel.” You whispered.

He finally wept. Ugly, snot filled silent sobs that wrecked through his entire being. And you were still there alongside him. His tears were finally allowed to freely fall, and you didn’t judge him for it, and he didn’t judge you when your own began to drip down your cheeks.

His sudden need for comfort increased when he shakily brought his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. Your cheek was squished against his chest. Your own arm draped around his middle, hand splayed across his covered stomach where you could feel each rise and fall of his lungs inhaling precious oxygen.

Sometimes human beings could find comfort in even those they viewed as strangers.

“Joel.” You whispered. Your tears had long since dried along your skin from the bitter cold. “What month do you think it is right now?”

He sniffled, gazing up at the night sky, and the millions of twinkling stars scattered about.

“December, I think.” He murmured softly.

“Oh,” you sighed, “I wonder if civilization still celebrates Christmas. I wonder if there’s any joy left in the world.”

You can feel his heartbeat through the layers he’s wearing. The subtle shift of his arm around you when it begins to grow numb from the position it’s locked in. He doesn’t let you go, however. He keeps holding you.

“I wonder that too, darlin.’” He rasped.

Your head lifts from laying against his chest. His eyes flicker down to yours. The embers from the fire still glow brightly, just enough that you can make out the warmth in his deep brown eyes as they land upon your face. “Well, if tonight happens to be Christmas Eve, then I wish you a Merry Christmas, Joel Miller.”

A smile tugs across the corner of his lips. His head dips down, lips brushing across your forehead in a tender sweep. “If tonight is Christmas Eve, then I wish you a Merry Christmas as well, darlin.’”

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

I no longer do tag lists so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

[creepling]

FUCK this tcm game discourse lemmie hit ya with some Hands smut. under the read more, you know the drill.

tags: MINORS DNI. gn!reader, dub-con, primal, petplay, size difference, electrocution, unprotected sex, breeding, not proofread.

what makes him different in tactic from the family is he is a 'grab and go' type guy. he's impatient, hates the chase. it's useless to him when he has the ability to just pick you up and throw you in the back of his race truck.

he has you bound to the truck so he can go on a joy ride. driving 100 mph down a dirt road, grunting and howling like a maniac. it's like a scene from mad max, the sheer chaos from the rush of the truck, the dirt kicking up and blowing back in your face. blindfolded and tied up, all you feel is the whip of the air and the bumps in the road. eventually when you give into him, maybe you can be a passenger princess/prince. this is Hands' way of showing off, letting you see who's The Man. it's the most endearing he's gonna be, even if you're screaming bloody murder.

Hands likes the fiesty ones, the ones that kick and scream, because their efforts are like pinches compared to his giant mass. the effort of taking in a 'feral' stray and domesticating you is time well spent. locking you in a cage, electrifying it to amuse in your attempts to combat the shocks to try and escape. he waits and banks on you to get exhausted and give up; like a beaten dog. then he turns the electricity off, enters the cage and thuds down on the filthy floor to cradle you in his arms and sit you in his crossed legs.

he pets you the way animals make a kinship, nuzzling his nose into your face, combing the knots in your hair with his thick fingers. it starts off innocent, but he warms up to you as the days weigh in. his hands explore different places, make marks on your soft skin; knead and scratch your thighs and chest. it was clear what his intentions were as his fingers ghost along your ass and further between your legs. his growls intensifying as your hot breath catches in your throat. he chuckles at your surprise, but he never advanced, only peering down at you with dark eyes, pressing your small body to his broad chest. finding comfort in the warm between your legs, his erection pulsing against your leg.

anything was better than the torture. and morbid curiousity gets the better of you.

eventually you answer his mating rituals, presenting yourself with open legs, bracing yourself for what he had in store. his eyes light up with desire, amused grunts panting out of him as he fumbles with his belt. his cock springs and aligns along your stomach, and all you can think is oh, fuck.

he fucks you like it's mating. stretching your hole with his thick cock, smirking at your fussing. the only goal he has in his primitive mind is to fill you with his load. thrusts hard and slow as his hands pinch your waist, groaning at the feeling of your nails digging into his arms. his cock is deep inside you and there is little chance of release as he ruts into you. his hot breath beating against your body drenched in sweat. his thrusts quicken in pace, alerting you of his climax, until a slick, hot warmth fills your swollen entrance.

Hands inspects the cum leaking from you, pronging his fingers inside you so his seed had claim -- letting none of it go to waste. his cum strings between his fingers and he stuffs them into your mouth, coating your tongue with his taste. he pours his stare into your distant, lulling eyes and thinks such a good, little pet.

[prettyrainsstuff]

Cuddling with Nikolai? :3

OKAY!! thanks for the request, I barely get any anymore :D

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Cuddling with Nikolai Gogol! (Female aligned DNI)

Contents:Headcanons/Scenario of Nikolai Gogol from Bungo Stray Dogs Cuddling with a male reader.

Warnings: Mentions of crime (Murder), physical touch(?) drugs (Benadryl(?) Cussing/Swearing(?)

-This silly dude😭

-It will be 12 in the fucking morning and he will be bouncing off the walls

-This silly guy is NEVER calm

-the chillest you’ve ever seen him is when you two are sleeping

-But thats basically it.

-Whenever he wants to cuddle he WILL make sure you know it.

-Give him a fucking Benadryl and hopefully he will calm down /hj

-After a long day of murdering people he’ll jump right into your arms

-“[Name]..! Carry me, Please…?” He would whine

-Wow even a long day at work he’s calmed down

-when he’s usually energetic you’ll have to be the one to take him to bed (and tie him to the bed post so he won’t run away /j)

-But when he’s ACTUALLY a bit tired he’ll be the one to pull you into bed and cuddle with you

-his head is gonna be nuzzled into your stomach as you gently or sleepily play with his white hair as you both fall asleep

Scenario

You were currently writing a document for work as Nikolai was nagging you to come and do something with you.

“[Name!] Come on! Just ditch the whole document already! You can finish it later can’t you?” Nikolai whined

“Sorry Niko..I can’t right now.”

“Haven’t you been working on that one for weeks? Come on! Come and do something with me!”

“Nikolai, I already told you I can’t. Its to late..Its 12 in the morning.”

“Its also too late to be writing stupid documents for your stupid work!” Nikolai closed your laptop, with his hand teleporting through his cape

You were about to scold him but Nikolai was right.

You looked at the time again. The clock showed ‘12:52 AM’

You sighed softly. “You know what. Alright. Its getting late, how about we just head to bed?”

Nikolai squealed in absolute joy.

“Yay! Lets go!” Nikolai pulled you toward the bed and gently pushed you on it before laying on top of you, his face nuzzled against your stomach.

You smiled and started to sleepily play with Nikolai’s hair before turning the lamp off and you both drifting to sleep.

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S5E04: Next Stop Valhalla

Storylines

Jaime tries to kill Guerra and is killed instead; Miguel feels guilty; Alicia Hinden comes to Oz with the dog training program; Augustus, Penders, and Miguel are selected

Miss Sally’s Schoolyard to become Sallycise; Brass confirms to Rebadow he bought the lottery ticket; Martinez hits Brass with a shit cocktail; Gloria tries to get Martinez put in the hospital and then beats him up when he keeps touching her face

Beecher and Schillinger fight during an interaction session; Schillinger antagonises Schibetta;

Peter Marie visits Keller; McClain visits Keller

Winthrop and Guenzel arrive at Oz; Guenzel is taken under Beecher’s wing while Winthrop becomes a prag for the Aryans in Unit B

Frank Urbano arrives at Oz; Beecher asks Pancamo for the Italians help in protecting Guenzel; the Aryans and Italians get into a fight

Gloria tells Ryan he has to tell his mother about his crimes; Ryan breakdances instead; Shupe tells O’Reily that Li going to rape his mom; Ryan and Cyril kill Li

Augustus continues to grieve his mother and ends up breaking his sobriety

Omar annoys Emerald City and Said with his singing, McManus gives him a supply closet to practice in; Redding demands Omar use it to sell drugs; Lalar and Arif complain to Said that he’s neglecting his role as leader; Robson tortures and kills Lalar

Sister: That’s why they gotta stop announcing everything they do in this show, like...

Sister: I feel like [Norma’s] just dead at this point.

Sister: I feel like they’re leading up to him being like a mass shooter or something. Me: You think he’s gonna snap? Sister: He seems like the type...

Sister: …I think being free would making him happy. I mean, [Toby] had that whole vision about being free that did not include [Chris], so I think he’ll be fine.

Sister: You can just tell them anything and they’ll let you through…

Sister: What’s wrong with this guy? What’s he in for? Me: Hate crimes… Murder, officially, I think. Sister: Hate crime? What’s he sniffing people for? Me: He's just a perv...

Sister: …That’s so gross… In my sickened state*, I can’t even summon a bleugh. Me: [Retching noise] Sister: Thanks. (*We got some booster shots yesterday and Sister always gets sick afterward lol)

Sister: When are they going to address that guy whose wife also died? Me: Never. Sister: So why did they introduce her?! To spout off some facts and get shushed by the priest?? Me: Maybe there was originally supposed to be more of a story to it and it go cut. Sister: No, they just wanted to do their little after school special moment and then not deal with it. You know, if any of the Muslims should be having the issues in these episodes, it should be the other guy (Arif), not Mr. Said... Me: They could have issues together. Sister: Yeah. Kill the Nazi helper dude. The one who's egging everything on. Schillinger doesn't even really do stuff on his own anymore. Before, he didn't want to fight and wanted to become a Jesus freak and it was always that guy whispering in his ear. And now look.

Sister: How we know he’s not gonna build a bomb in there? … Oh, I guess they took away all the cleaning supplies…

Stray Thoughts

Sister says Jia Kenmin and Li Chen’s plan to provoke Ryan so they could kill him in self defense was really not thought-out

Sister is convinced that someone is going to die for one of the dogs

Sister believes that killing Robson would get rid of most of the Aryans’ bite since she views him as being the worst out of all the Aryans

Final thoughts

The scene where Robson and what’s his face torture Lalar is the toughest scene to watch in the entire show, imo. And it pisses me off (like, I’m actually getting mad thinking about it right now, lol) that Robson gets more expansion in terms of character as the show progresses, too, because whooooooooo gives a shit about a Nazi?! They still haven’t followed up on Arif’s wife LMAO. Also Urbano gets introduced this episode and they don’t end up doing shit with him, really, either. But let’s learn about this asshole!!

Sister: I feel like they’ve run out of storylines with the Muslims and are just repeating past ones. Wasn’t it [Arif] who was the one complaining about Said’s leadership the last time? And then he couldn’t handle it which caused the whole thing… and now he’s doing it again? Me: I think they just don’t like when Said helps other people. They complained when Said was spending time on Beecher, too… Sister: Yeah, [Arif] is so needy… He’s like “you’re spending too much time with your roommate who you have to stay in a cell with” and also every time he is around, [Said] just wants [Omar] to be quiet anyway…

[kendsleyauthor]

I also love your new characters! But I love your old ones too. If you’re still doing prompts, dealers choice for #11? You’re amazing ❤️

SNOW ANGEL

Print / Trinket Universe (Micah and Everly)

~700 words

G/t dialogue prompt list

Aww I'm so touched by your love 🥰 Here's a bit of Micah/Everly wintery cuteness! ❄

@marydublinauthor 🌸

Where the hell is she?

Everly typically woke up before him, but she never strayed far from their shared room on the bus. This morning, he couldn’t find her working on schematics on her tablet, or tinkering with the various tech she’d scavenged, or overriding the vehicle’s AI to cuss him out.

“Ev?” Micah called.

As he stepped out of the room and into the narrow hallway, a chill snaked around him. The exterior door panel was wide open, and Everly was still nowhere in sight. He ducked back into his room and snatched the first pair of shoes within reach. He wasn’t sure what could have possessed her to leave the bus on her own so early in the morning—if she left by choice.

Premature anger bristled at the back of his mind. Crew members had bullied her into working off the clock before, but no one ever dared to drag her out of bed.

As he stepped off the bus, though, he didn’t have to look hard to find her.

Everly stood a few yards away with her back to him. Snow fell lightly onto the asphalt and stuck to the ground. She wore only a t-shirt and jeans, shivering like crazy but rooted to her spot.

“There you are,” he said, all the breath leaving his lungs at once. “What are you doing? You’re gonna freeze out here!”

Everly turned and looked up at him. Her eyes were wide—and for a second, he thought he was scaring her. But a breathless grin lit up her face. Every smile he’d ever gotten from her was hard-fought. Her sheer, unprompted happiness made him wonder if she was tripping on something.

“Uh…” He cleared his throat. “Don’t get mad, but you’re freaking me out.”

“It’s beautiful. Look at it.” Everly’s wistful sigh puffed past her lips like a cloud. She stuck her hand out and caught a few snowflakes, bringing her palm close to her face to examine them. 

Then it hit him.

She’d lived all her life in southern California. 

“You’ve never seen snow?” Micah dropped to one knee beside her, cocking his head to continue soaking in the unbridled joy on her face.

She shook her head. “Not the real stuff, anyway. A couple years ago, they dropped synthetic snow on the slums around Christmastime to boost morale or something. It was depressing as fuck. But this…” She cupped her hands, grinning as snowflakes gathered in her palms. “It’s not as cold as I thought it’d be.”

Micah laughed, reaching down with both hands to scoop her up. “That’s just the childlike-wonder talking.” His smile wilted when his skin brushed against her. “You’re so cold, Ev.” He swiftly brought her against his chest, eliciting a squeak of surprise.

“Relax, I’m fine!” She squirmed for a moment, but sure enough, she leaned into his warmth. “Okay, maybe…” She rested her forehead against his shirt. “Maybe it’s a little cold.”

He chuckled. “Let’s get you into some warmer clothes.”

“I… I don’t have any.”

Micah made a wounded noise. “I thought you said you looked through all the clothes I got you. Liar.”

“I-I mean… Looking through all of it would’ve taken me days.” She tugged at his shirt, and he peeked down at her. While she was definitely cuddling up against him for warmth, there was a certain sweetness to the way she rubbed her cheek against his chest. “But that means you can surprise me with an outfit. Won’t that be fun?”

Hugging her closer, he could already feel the chill vacate her little body as he stepped back inside. “Babe, we’re going through all your winter clothes. By the time we’re done, there’ll be enough snow on the ground to have some real fun. Wanna bet I can nail Xan with a snowball?”

“Only if I can also bet that he’ll murder you in your sleep.”

[kaineillian]

HEADCANON

Part 1.Bungo Stray Dogs as YANDERE'S.

Character(s) : Sigma, Nikolai, Poe.

Gender : Male Reader.

Warning(s) : Curse words, yandere, what yandere typically does.

SIGMA

Sigma looks innocent on the outside but inside hahaha, he's worst just like those two psychopaths.

Sigma befriended you long ago so,he knows your information. Remember that his ability involve on touching other people to obtain information. And you two are always together he is bound to know everything about you.

Sigma has a bad personality he just wont show it to you knowing he knows that you see him as a 'innocent' and 'harmless' guy. He cant let you know his bad side or else your trust and respect for him will decrease.

Like any yandere would do, he stalks you , rummage to your things and steals it (mainly your underwear). Takes pictures of you and pins them on his wall. And lastly—murder people.

Sigma haves a plan for everything that may or not happen but you'll never know until it will happen . He has a guide for 'how to get rid of bodies', 'how to make him love you', 'how to be innocent' and so on.

Sigma had a short hair but you mentioned that you like people with long hair so he made his hair longer just for you.

Sigma is part of the DOA and is the informat of the organization, Fyodor makes him go to mission that are away from Yokohama. Sigma had no choice but to obey his orders. But he also dont want to leave you unsupervised so he planted little cameras on where you usually go (because your house is already planted with many bugs). In that way he can see your every move and who you are with in all times.

And of course if he's not there with you. There's always a pest that butted in and made a move to you . At first, sigma wasn't that worried since you always turn down their advantages. But, this time you didn't. Sigma saw you smile, laugh, walked with them holding their hand.

Hilarious. He just left for ONE DAY and now your with a nobody?

No. No! He cant let this happen. He haves to go back now. Screw the mission, he's gonna rip that bitch face.

GOGOL NIKOLAI

Psychopath No. 1.

Nikolai dont know whats personal space.

It irritates you that he always pops up out of nowhere because of that damn ability of his.

He is the definition of 'you can run but you cant hide'.

Nikolai likes to scare you and then give you his daily gift mainly chocolate, bouquet,poems and a disturbing photograph of a dead man that you recognize. "Nikolai what the fuck? " "He hugged you! " "He's my brother? —".

Long story short, your not faze about his actions, surprisingly. Well, you're a mafioso you murder people for a living.

Terrorist x Mafioso match made couple in hell.

Both of you live in the same house which was originally yours but then he suddenly barged in with a contract saying it was now owned by the two of you with a blood on the paper. He obviously threatened and lied to the landlord to sign the contract and killed him after.

After that, waking up the first thing you see is nikolai havering you smiling widely. At first it creeped you out but your used to it. Surprise, surprise. He knows how to cook he usually makes you breakfast because at night he's in the DOA building doing 'stuff'. But he makes sure to leave early just to make you breakfast and wake you up. He's a sweetheart ,no?

Well for you, yes. For others on the other hand is a hard NO. People passing by you, looking at you is like death waving at them. Nikolai wouldn't kill them for no reason, he kills them because they have an intention to try and court you which they fail miserably. When he goes overboard of his killing you always tie wrist together and knot it on the ceiling so he's 'hanging' around. (Get it?)

Which is a bad move. Nikolai is a freak. So he's into that kind of stuff, go on tie him up, slap him, kick him, punch him. He will welcome those hits with open arms. Kill him if you must he can still follow you around even when he's dead.

EDGAR ALLAN POE

Poe is a timid, cute looking man who enjoys writing books about you and him together, married and having sex—

What do you expect? Poe is a author. And author's are good with their imagination. Poe made two novels, one being about your future together like a fairytale. And the other is a erotic novel that he carries with all the time.

Poe trust you so much that he gives you Karl when his busy writing another novel. Karl approves you and makes you play with him, secretly — poe took pictures without you knowing. You we're still busy playing with karl.

Karl the racoon isn't stupid and he is in poe's plan. Poe talked about his plan and strategies for karl to follow in exchange for a biscuit. Karl makes sure to keep you busy while Poe is either murdering people or busy rummaging on your drawer for a new underwear collection.

Poe may look innocently sweet but never judge a book by its cover. Poe is a total pervert. He has almost every collection of your underwear (you buy your underwear before showering because it somehow 'mysteriously' disappeared) .

Trust me when i say that he has a shrine of you inside his office. You wanna know whats in the shrine?

Sure. Inside the shrine... Is a picture of you inside a picture frame, an apple that you didn't finished you can see clearly where your teeth marks are, your underwear (of course not just an underwear, this underwear is the limited edition of you. Because you always wore it. So he stole it.), a pen that is chewed, your toothbrush, a bandaid that haves a little spot of blood, a bubblegum (a chewed bubblegum by you.... And i know it sound unsanitary but he also chewed on it...), and a chunk of hair tied in a red ribbon.

........ Its not that special—

OK! SHEESH! I TAKE IT BACK IT IS SPECIAL! CALM DOWN!

Man, i didn't know he was listening to us the entire time...

Anyway , Poe isn't that possessive. However, if he sees you being all lovely dovey on another man he will cock out his gun.

Poe's type of torture is putting them in his book. And that book is about horror, murder, gore(y) and you get my point. The reason why poe likes to trap them there is because they cant escape. They will never escape.

Alright, thats about it. You can go now, poe looks like he'll kill me. Thats it... For now...

[mixelation]

reborn au; itachi pov ->

NOTE: my headcanon is that people didn't immediately connect the dots between naruto and his parents in part because kushina actively hid she was pregnant. i forget the exact wording, but biwako tells kushina off for talking to mikoto in a way that implies kushina was meant to keep her pregnancy on the down low. so my hc is that once the baby bump was too big to hide with clothing, kushina started limiting public appearances. so there's a line in here where she says she disappeared bc the pregnancy left her bedridden-- that's her cover up story

(no proofreading we die like men)

***

Itachi was four when his father brought him to a battlefield. 

He remembered this happening, the first time around. It was one of his earliest memories. This time around, he was just starting to become aware of himself. The entire lifetime shoved into his little head had been confusing and upsetting, and his first few years of life had felt like a blur. 

But now he knew with vivid clarity who he was. He was Uchiha Itachi, murderer, criminal, and traitor, and he did not want to go. But he also did not know how to make his father stop. 

“I don’t like this,” he repeated again and again. “I want to go back.”

“That’s good,” his father told him, his grip tight on his arm. “You’re not supposed to like this.”

Itachi stared down at a man gasping at his feet, and he remembered his father lying dead on their floor. He remembered his mother, his auntie, his cousin… 

The dying shinobi made a pathetic attempt to gouge a kunai into Itachi's tiny leg, and he stepped back. The man’s breath was a horrible rattling, and he was going to die if he didn’t get proper medical attention soon. No help was coming for him. It would be more merciful if Itachi killed him. 

I think I hate him, Itachi thought of Fugaku. He bent to pick up the dying man’s kunai. Fugaku didn’t even wince as Itachi dug the blade into the man’s neck. Quick and painless. 

Fugaku looked… almost approving. 

“War forces us to make hard choices. Sometimes impossible choices,” he said. “Remember that.”

Perversely, Itachi felt the urge to laugh. 

Maybe he hates me, he thought. 

xXx

Itachi hated the Academy. He hated the chatter of other children, their looks of awe and jealousy and fear in turns, and he hated the way teachers looked at him. He thought about playing at being average, at grasping for the childhood he never had. But every conversation he had with a child annoyed him, and every patronizing look from a teacher made his eye tick just a little more. 

“You did what?” laughed Shisui, the only child Itachi could stand. “Genjutsu? Itachi, they’re going to notice.”

Shisui was deep in the woods, practicing with kunai. Shisui was three years older than Itachi and also still in the Academy, but Shisui had permission to skip lectures for personal training. Itachi did not. Instead, he had placed an illusion on his teacher and all his classmates to think he was still there. 

“They won’t notice,” he told Shisui. “They never do.”

“Well, whatever,” Shisui replied. “You can practice with me, but I’m not gonna bail you out if you get caught.”

Itachi knew this was a lie. Shisui would lie for him. He lied to Itachi's parents for him all the time. 

This Shisui was not old enough to dole out the comforting pieces of wisdom of Itachi’s old life. But he was clever and mature enough to hold a real conversation, and he never looked at Itachi like everyone else did. His smile always cheered him up, and he occasionally told a joke bad enough to get Itachi to crack a smile. 

Shisui threw more kunai, and Itachi knocked them out of the air with shuriken. Shisui frowned and tried a more complicated throw. Itachi purposefully missed one of the kunai, just to let him see how off his aim was with this throw. 

Shisui groaned. 

“You don’t have to look so happy,” he chided, stepping forward to pry the stray kunai out of the tree bark. It wasn’t anywhere close to the target. 

“It’s not that,” Itachi replied. He hesitated. “I got some good news this morning.”

“Oh yeah?” Shisui asked, flipping the kunai in his hand with a thoughtful expression on his face. Trying to recalculate what had gone wrong with his throw, no doubt. 

Itachi was sure he wasn’t meant to share this secret, but also it was burning its way through his heart. 

“I’m going to be a big brother,” he said. 

Shisui blinked, his face filled with surprise. Then a broad grin spread across it. 

“That’s awesome, cuz. Congratulations.”

Shisui shoved the kunai back into his weapons pack before throwing his arms around Itachi. Itachi leaned into the hug, gripping Shisui back tighter than he needed to. Every hug terrified him with the thought that it could be his last. 

He’d been terrified that Sasuke somehow wouldn’t exist in this timeline, that maybe his even stranger personality would poison his parents for more children, or that any minor change in his actions might cause some other younger sibling to be conceived at a different time. But his mother’s projected due date was close to Sasuke’s birthday. Itachi was now more terrified that Sasuke would exist, and then Itachi would lose him anyway. 

xXx

Sasuke’s birth was almost exactly how Itachi remembered it. The date and time were the same. The squashed little baby face was the same. The weight of him in Itachi’s arms was the same.

My little brother, Itachi thought, Sasuke cradled to his chest. So you made it too. 

Itachi’s parents let him take two days and a weekend off of school to be with his new brother. He asked to hold Sasuke whenever he could. On the Monday he was meant to go back to school, he went to the Hokage.  

Itachi barely remembered Namikaze Minato. But he’d gathered his family was friends with him somehow, and he used this to get into his office. 

“Early graduation…?” Minato looked exhausted. Itachi did not remember this from his previous life’s memories, but then again those memories were the faint ones of a true child. “Itachi, you're a very talented student, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Minato lectured him about social bonds and having time to grow. Itachi pointed out he didn’t have friends and wasn’t sure he could make them, when he was intellectually on a much higher level than other children. For some reason, Minato didn’t like this argument. 

“I want to have more time with my new brother,” Itachi admitted. 

“Being a genin is busy work,” Minato warned him. 

“I know,” Itachi replied, “but I could have a more flexible schedule, and eventually I’ll be able to pick my own missions.”

Minato’s lips thinned, unconvinced. Itachi considered genjutsu. But he wasn’t sure how resistant the Hokage would be, and if he didn’t do it flawlessly, he absolutely wouldn’t be getting anything he wanted out of him ever again. 

“I’m just so bored,” Itachi tried, mimicking the way Shisui would complain. It sounded foreign and bizarre on his tongue, but it did make Minato’s lips quirk up. 

“I’ll think about it,” Minato allowed.

Three weeks and two interviews with the headmaster to test his skills later, Itachi was a genin after only four months at the Academy.

“That’s my son,” Fugaku told him, and his mother cooked all his favorite foods for dinner with a placid smile on her face, like she also wouldn’t burn the village down and tear her family apart. Itachi tried not to vomit. 

For Sasuke. 

xXx

Itachi did not care about breaking records. He did not care about accolades or prestige. He did not care about his new genin team or saving the Hokage’s soon to be cut short life. He only cared about Sasuke. 

And so, as far as he could see, he had a choice come October tenth. He could attempt to interfere with Obito when he came to attack Konoha with the Kyuubi, or he could stay by Sasuke’s side. 

Itachi knew he could not take Obito as he was. Itachi was brilliant for his age and could take on most adult shinobi, but his chakra reserves were low and his physical prowess was limited by his age. He could not engage Obito in combat or take control of the Kyuubi with his own sharingan. He could not do what the Hokage was about to die trying to do. 

He considered spying or trying to gather new information. But he already knew a great many things about the man pretending to be Uchiha Obito, and he would not risk Sasuke’s life by abandoning him. He was an officially recognized shinobi now, even if he was only six and only a genin. He would have access to some avenues of shinobi gossip and records he hadn’t had in the past, and when he inevitably flew through the ranks, he’d get more.

On the night of the Kyuubi attack, Itachi made sure to stay home, with baby Sasuke. 

Curiously, nothing happened. 

Nothing very important continued to happen for several weeks. It bent Itachi out of shape, not knowing what was happening. He snapped at his teammates and skipped practices to hover over Sasuke’s crib. How could he defend Sasuke from danger, if he didn’t know where danger was coming from?

His Jounin sensei reported him as unstable, paranoid, and uncooperative. Whatever. 

And then one day he came home to find the Hokage and his wife in his living room. 

“Our babies are going to be best friends, you know!” the Hokage’s wife was yelling. Mikoto had her hand over her face to hide a giggle. They’d propped the babies against each other to sit up for a photo, like balancing two cards to make a house. 

Minato was sitting on the couch with the camera in his hands. Fugaku sat at the other end, looking less stern than usual.  

“Oh my gosh, Itachi-kun!” Kushina yelled, whipping around as he stepped into the room. “You get in the photo too!”

Itachi sat dumbly while Kushina piled babies onto him. He had not planned for this at all.

[miasmaghoul]

oh swiss and the ghoulettes definitely stalk the sisters of sin together that’s become canon in my mind after you reblogged that hunter’s moon video

Now THERE'S a fun idea.

Creepy, evil murder ghouls under the cut!

They choose her together.

She's a young thing, willowy and pale. She never sees them, but she can feel their presence. The pressure of eyes on her, making her heart race and her palms sweat.

The song is the worst part. Lilting words in a language she doesn't have a grasp of yet, too new to have it memorized. It follows her, she swears it. In the halls, on the grounds, even in her room at night. She doesn't sleep anymore. Not since her window started to rattle in the dark.

Still, she never sees them.

Never sees them sitting in the rafters of the chapel, watching her kneel and pray. They, of course, take full advantage of her obliviousness.

Swiss uses his shadows to obscure them all, and to snake down the wall. Uses them to lock the heavy wooden doors to the ornate chamber they're haunting, her one route of escape. If she heard the bolt slide, she doesn't show it.

Cumulus and Cirrus send phantom breezes to rustle her habits, sourceless wind that makes her jolt. Makes her look around with wide, baggy eyes. It's been weeks since she slept through the night.

Sunshine pulls the light from the room then, the warmth pouring through massive stained glass windows fading away. Aurora adds her own icy chill, an uncomfortable stillness settling into the air. The sister shivers, hugs her chest and heads for the door.

Swiss's shadows track her, melting into her retreating silhouette to. He can taste her fear through them, can her her racing heartbeat. Can feel her breath stutter when she pulls the door and finds it immovable.

"No," they hear her whisper, rattling the heavy iron handle, "no, no no -" She pounds the door with a closed fist, shouts for help. A fruitless effort, the ghouls know. No one will answer. No one ever does.

She tires quickly, so exhausted from weeks of torment. Of invisible eyes and shivery voices. Of little gifts left on her pillow at night - rat bones, a dead rose, photos of her in the library and the kitchens. Of the constant feeling of being watched and having no one understand. Having no one believe.

Once she sags against the door, once she looses one last whispered plea, the ghouls grin at one another in the dark.

One by one, they begin to sing.

Aurora is the one to start them off, her voice high and piercing. The first notes have their prey's shoulders going stiff. She spins in place, whipping her head around for the source of that unholy melody. Sunshine sings next, and the sister claps her hands over her ears.

"No," she says again, and oh does she sound fragile. "Please, please no -"

It's Cumulus's turn then, her rich words filling the gaps between Aurora and Sunshine. The sister slides down the door with a sob, shaking her head and tucking her knees to her chest. Rocking in place while she begs for the aural torment to stop.

If only she could be so lucky.

Cirrus rests a hand on Swiss's back, uses her power to amplify his voice, the sister flinches like she's been hit. It forces her eyes open, and just as their demonic chorus reaches its crescendo Swiss finally drops his shadowy veil. Reveals himself and his fellow hunters to their poor, vulnerable little lamb.

They descend together, floating down on an unearthly breeze, and as they reveal shining fangs and razor-sharp claws the sister can't even find it in herself to scream.

She's no more than a red stain and cracked bones once they've had their fill, bones that will be gifted to Mountain for use as fertilizer. No point in letting their leftovers go to waste.

"She was sweet," Cumulus coos, licking a stray streak of blood from her finger. "Too skinny though, I'm gonna have her in my teeth for days." She sucks at her fangs and Swiss huffs out a chuckle.

"I dunno, I kinda like the chew," he lilts, running lazy fingers through Aurora's platinum waves. Cumulus snorts.

"You're hardly a food critic," she teases. "I've seen the things you put in that mouth." Swiss responds with a lewd gesture, licking at the air through a vee of his fingers, and all it does is serve to prove the ghoulette's point.

Cumulus hums to herself as she collects the bones they've left, Swiss shifting his attention to where Sunshine and Cirrus are busy grooming each other. After a moment the little ghoulette in his lap chirps, and Swiss peers over her shoulder. He finds her turning a small bone form the sister's hand between two elegant fingers. He noses behind her ear, inhaling the scent of wintry air and fruity shampoo.

"You wanna pick the next one, Ro?"

The others glance over when he says it, Aurora herself tipping her head back to look up at the ghoul. He gives her tiny waist a squeeze, and the ghoulette smiles.

"Yeah," she trills, leaning up to nip at Swiss's throat. "I think I do."

"Aww, our baby girl is growing up so fast!" Sunshine feigns wiping a tear from her cheek. "All ready to hunt, I'm so proud!" Her words are so very playful, and with a giggle she dodges the bone Aurora chucks at her head.

Tomorrow, their game will begin anew.

[strayykids-hoe]

"My baby"

•°•°°~Bangchan FF~°°•°•

◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆

MDNI

Warning: face sitting, fingering, fem!receiving, masturbation, pet names, baby, daddy, princess, Bangchan thinks he's all big and bad until he meets you, Mafia!reader, Mafia!Bangchan, Guns, Drugs, Alcohol, smoking, getting high, pregnant!reader, st@lking, k!dn@pping, murder, if I missed anything lmk.

◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆◇☆

It was a typical Friday night for you and the rest of your Mafia. You guys were in the basement of your mansion, drinking, getting high, and some of your friends were even starting to flirt with the unexpected guest Yeji invited.

Yeji has been your friend since middle school. You guys never fought or ever thought about leaving each other. Not even for a second. But you just didn't understand why she brought another guest though.

When you really start getting curious is when all the girls start crowding over him like he was showing his abs or something. When you went over to investigate, he was actually showing his abs.

He was very toned and honestly looked good. You git a good look at his face and he was very familiar to you. Then it clicks. He is Bangchan. The guy that everyone is simping for but are too scared to say it. But they still show it obviously.

That's not all you have heard about him. You heard that he is the scariest and most dangerous Mafia out there. He didn't look so scary to you right now. He had a baby face, with hazel brown eyes and the sweetest smile. You just wondered what he would be like in bed.

You went back to where you were standing just a minute ago, waiting for Yeji to get done with her boyfriend in the bathroom. After the girls quit crowding around Bangchan, he glanced up at you with a devilish grin as he winked. I guess he noticed you.

You start slightly blushing as you debate walking up to him. But he beat you to it. By the time you got the courage to go to him, he was already by you. You start getting horny as he looks at you with the dirtiest thoughts.

"Hey pretty lady." He says in the flirtiest voice. "There are plenty of other girls in here." You manage to say, trying to play hard to get. He simply replies with "I only see you though." And at that point your pussy is throbbing.

"I thought you were the scariest and most dangerous Mafia?" You ask. "I am. You don't believe it?" He says while you press your legs together to try and stop the feeling.

"Kind of hard to belive when you look and act like a pussy" which completely wasn't true, you were fully attracted to him and his bulkyness. "Where's a room we can use?" He asks pissed of now.

"Follow me." you said while winking at him and grabbing his hand. As you were leading him up the stairs you felt him let go of your hand to hold your waist. "So small" He tells you. "I wonder if that pussy is the same."

At that point, you were ready to lay him down and fuck him out of his mind. Everyone thought you would be a bottom, but you were for sure a top. Now bangchan just has to find that out on his own.

You took him to your room and as you opened the door, his grip tightens around yourwaist and you feel like you might cum that very second. You try your best not to though.

When you two got in the room, he locked the door and was already naked before you. But you were fine with that because he was just gonna help you to get your cloths off.

When he got the last peice of clothing off, your bra, he couldn't stop saying hiw beautiful you were as he led you to the bed. You decide to let him think he's in control for the first few minutes. Then you were going to completely dominate him.

He climbs on top of you, pinning you down on the bed. His kisses were soft and sweet. And for the first time, you actually liked being on bottom. But you weren't gonna tell him that obviously.

Eventually he starts rubbing your clit, making you moan because of all that built up tension that is now being released. You were excited to have sex again after 3 years.

"Channie" you breathed heavily "I'm close" You whine when he removes his hand. But then look down to see him lining up his dick with your pretty pussy. He couldn't wait to ruin you.

But just when he was gonna push in, you sit up while pressing your lips to his, making him lay on his side. While you press him onto his back, he realizes what was going on.

"Didn't know you were that type of girl." He says smirking. You roll your eyes sarcastically "I want to ride your face" you say flirtatious. Making him blush. "Hop on princess" he says pulling the back of your thighs towards his face encouraging you to sit.

When you do, he works his tongue just right over your clit and hole. Slathering them with saliva. You start moaning and he just can't get enough. He brought his hand up to your hole and inserted 2 fingers, making you moan load out of pleasure.

He is hitting all of the right spots at the right time. You feel your orgasm creeping up on you, and start thrusting hard against his mouth and tongue. You started moaning louder and clenching around his beautiful, muscular hand and that's when he knew you were close.

He continues to eat you out so good while you cum on his face. When you get off finally, his mouth is covered in your pure white cum. He lacks it off his lips and smiles at you.

While he's trying to catch his breath, his eyes closed and chest heaving, you line yourself up with his fat, pretty cock. Without warning, you sink down all the way receiving a loud, dirty moan from him.

"Feels so so good princess" is all he managed to say, while you fucked yourself good on his cock going up and down quick while you start getting close again. Then you remember.

Protection.

At this point you really don't care and just want to chase your high with him. You didn't care if people heard you, or somebody walked in on you. You just cared about him and you.

"I'm close" He said huffing like a dog. "Me too" I manage to tell him. A few more thrusts and his only words were "I'm Cumming!" As he trys to lift you off of him. "No channie" "want your cum inside me" was all you said before both of you are Cumming together.

•°•°••~2 months later••°•°•

You found out you were pregnant about a week ago. You had bangchans number, but you never called or texted him. You were just scared of hiw he was gonna react if you told him you were pregnant with his child.

Eventually you had another party. But you stayed in your room, while Yeji was in charge of the party. You were thinking about how this si the room where it all happened. Where you got pregnant with bangchans child. You wanted to tell him, you really did. You just didn't know how.

Suddenly you got a knock on your door. "Come in!" You slightly yelled making sure the person on the other side could hear you. When that person came in, you were shocked to see Bangchan. Not only Bangchan, but he was holding flowers. Your favorite flowers. Lily of the valley.

"Channie" you say excited running up to him. But when he hugs you back, you then remember what news you have to tell him. You really didn't know how. So when you were sitting down with him on your pretty pink bed, you decided to be up forward about it.

"Channie?" You ask nervous. "Yes princess?" He said slightly squeezing your hand. "I'm pregnant." He paused for a moment, not really knowing what to say. "Is it mine?" He said with tears building up in his eyes. "Yes." You say nervous.

He hugs you with happy tears and you couldn't want anything more than him to be happy about the pregnancy. He kneels down in front of you, kisses your belly and whispers "My Baby"

[chalkrevelations]

So, a whole complex of things I noticed in Ep 1 of Kiseki: Dear To Me:

First of all, the mental calculus Bai Zongyi does when he overhears his boss talking about the one-night stand who cleaned him out is HILARIOUS. He goes tearing back home, and I'm like, my guy. Even in your financial straits, why wouldn't you be willing to lose your rice cooker to get rid of the gangster blackmailing you into letting him hole up in your apartment living his best stay-at-home girlfriend life? If you get back home and your rice cooker is gone, but the actualfax criminal who took over your bed by repeatedly threatening to report you on ginned-up aggravated assault (if not murder) charges is also gone, is this not a net gain? I feel that many people would come to a different conclusion on that calculation than you did. Perhaps you do need help with math. (Protip: Your erstwhile math tutor is not unbiased.)

ANYWAY.

I think it's interesting and maybe telling that one of the things Zongyi overhears his boss saying is that "a greedy person steals everything." Because there's a few things going on here that relate to Fan Zherui, including the fact that he keeps insisting he's going to pay everything back double - triple, even! - even as he whines his way into getting Zongyi to bring home more and more stuff for him, too many treats for his "little tummy" supposedly to handle. (I see what you did there, A-Rui. I am not as dumb as a 17-year-old boy - usually at least - and you are not as slick as you'd like to think you are.) Additionally, Zherui tells Zongyi more than once that there's nothing worth stealing in his ratty little apartment, so apparently he has some standards, instead of just being greedy for whatever he can get his hands on.

BUT.

But when Zongyi gets home to find Zherui unlocked and still lounging around on his front balcony like a stray cat that's been fed, we discover that Zherui has taken something from Zongyi behind his back. Zongyi has very deliberately not told Zherui his name, including in a previous scene when Zherui explicitly asked for it. So at some point, Zherui has gone through Zongyi's stuff and discovered his name - and who knows what else about him. He's taken the identity that Zongyi wanted to keep from him, which is like a kind of theft.

How interesting, that nothing else in that little apartment is worth as much as Zherui's shoes, nothing else is worth taking, but Zongyi's name - his identity, his self - is. How interesting, that Zongyi is what Zherui sees value in, already, enough to be worth trying to steal for himself, figuratively, if not literally, at this point.

HOWEVER.

Almost immediately, Zherui tries to "pay back" Zongyi for what he's taken by offering his own name (which Zongyi has never asked for). It comes out as a kind of formal declaration "I, Fan Zherui, will ..." I don't know, something or other, whatever he says he's gonna do that is already out of my head because it's not as important as the fact that he felt he had to repay Zongyi by offering his own name in return for what he took. This is really, really noticeable, because while it's a good way for us, as the audience, to learn his name, it's not necessary, because Ai Di and Chen Yi have already talked to and about him, using his name, earlier in the episode.

That declaration of his name isn't there for the audience. It's solely for Zongyi.

If it's an exchange, it's not stealing, right?

How interesting, that Zherui wants Zongyi to have his name - his identity, his self - wants Zongyi to have him, that Zherui offers himself like this, even this early on.

Here I am. Take me. Keep me.

[itsyourstarboy]

Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.3

First Part Next Part

It’s about damn time I made part 3, and this is, once again, less headcanons and more just Guy interrupting Honey’s stream

Okay so, we’ve talked about how Honey’s fan base likes to theorize on their and Guy’s relationship. Some fans think they have mutual crushes on one another, some think they’re secretly dating, some think they’re just roommates.

Chat asks Honey questions about their love life all the time, and Honey has fun by always giving vague answers.

Even Guy has joined in on occasion.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

★someone donated $1★

HoneysHeaven: are you single??

"Guy, what the actual fuck."

Answer the damn question 👁️👁️

Not him flirting in front of 176k people 🤣🤣

HoneysHeaven: are you though??

My man's is just shooting his shot, give him a break

Honey pinches the bridge of their nose and sighs, though the way the corner of their mouth twitches upward is poorly hidden. "No, I'm not single."

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

✍️[Honey]✍️is✍️not✍️single✍️

OH SO NOW WE GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER

OOOOHHHH B))))))

CLIP FOR PROOF CLIP FOR PROOF NO TAKE BACKS

📸📸📸📸📸📸📸

📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸

Wait but is Guy single?

That's the real question ^^^

HoneysHeaven: I'm dating the most loving, caring, sweetest person in the world 🥰🥰

AAWWWWW

IM GONNA BARF

So not [Honey] then?

XD

HES SO WHOLESOME OMFG

AGSKSGSKDGDKF

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SOMEONE SAID SO NOT [HONEY] THEN 😂😂😂😂😂😂

LMAOOO

DAMN BRO WHO PISSED IN YOUR CHEERIOS???

—

And even when he's not there, Chat often speaks on his behalf.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

★someone donated $5★

When are you going to ask out your roommate?

"I don't have a roommate."

Machoke? More like choke me-

YES YOU DO??

tf

LIAR LIAR PLANTS FOR HIRE

Who the hell is that dude in your house then 🤨🤨🤨🤨

GUY THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT GUY WHEN ARE YOU GONNA ASK OUT GUY

THIS IS BULLSHIT WE CANT TAKE THEIR WORD FOR IT

Is Guy in the chat rn?? We need to check your sources

"I am not lying, I swear on my goldfish's grave. Guy isn't my roommate, he's just some stray that followed me home one day and now he won't fucking leave."

Ouch

THAT WHY HE LOOK LIKE A WET NOODLE??

Nah nah, we all know you keep him around on purpose 😏😏😏

WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE-

A WET NOODLE!? EXCUSE ME!?

★someone donated $20★

Go ask Guy out right now and I'll give you another 80 dollars

Honey scrunches their nose and hums, as if thinking, "I'd love to, but... Guy isn't here right now."

NOOOO WE WERE SO CLOSE

BRIBERY WORKS BUT AT THE WORST OF TIMES

Where is he???? He's not supposed to be outside all alone :(

YOU'D LOVE TO??? 👀👀👀👀

WHAT THEN CALL HIM OR SMTH

YES

CALL HIM

PUT HIM ON SPEAKER SO WE CAN SAY HI

"wha- I can't just call him, he's at work. Do you guys want him to get fired?"

NO

No

Change of plans, we can wait until next stream

We'll get 'em next time boys

It's for the best, no one wants to get asked out over the phone

True true

Teaching [Honey] How to Flirt; Lesson 152: don't ask someone out over the phone

°•°•°•°•°•°

★someone donated $10★

Is Guy there?

"yeah...?"

★someone donated $70★

Cool cool heres the last of that 100 I promised you, now go ASK GUY OUT

OMGOMGOMG

ITS HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CALM

AAAAAAHHHHHHH

I SAID STAY FUCKING CALM

AAHLFVAKCBGSNAFAGRCKXN

Sorry

YES YES YES YES YES

👁️👁️🤳 I'm ready and waiting

Honey smirks, and pulls off their headphones. They get out of their chair and open the door to the hallway.

They then sit back down in their chair, yell "GUUYY" (which has him stumbling over himself because they never yell for him like that), and wait.

Guy rushes to Honey, but stops short of entering the room when Honey puts their hand out, "no, no, don't come in, I'm still streaming."

Guy puts a hand over his heart and let's out a breath, "holy shit, Honey, I thought you were being murdered or something." Then he laughs that adorable laugh of his because he's so precious.

Honey can't suppress the chuckle that bubbles up in their throat, "no, I'm fine. Chat just wanted me to ask you something."

Honey spared a quick glance at their monitor, biting their lip to try and hide the devilish smirk that was forming across their features.

ITS HIM ITS HIM

MY BOOOYYYY

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDHDHHDJJ

What the hell is happening to you people y'all need some jesus tf 🛐✝️✝️

THIS IS IT THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

I DONT NEED JESUS I NEED A FUCKING STRAIGHT JACKET HOOOOOOOWWEEEEEEEEEE

Oh my god 🙊🙊🙊

🎶the best time to wear a striped sweaterrrrr🎶

Guy giggles, "what?"

Honey fails at their weak attempt to hide their smile, biting their tongue as a last ditch effort before giving way, "get out."

Guy laughs through his words, a more confused tone taking place as he repeats his last question, "what?"

Honey stands from their chair again, and leans against the open door. The way it opens inward perfectly covers Guy from view of the camera.

They lean in, a loving smile splaying their lips and lighting up their eyes as they grasp the collar of his shirt to pull him in.

Chat can't see how their faces are only inches apart, they can only hear how Guy let's out a sound of surprise.

Honey plants a chaste kiss on the corner of Guy's mouth and then loosens their grip on his collar in exchange for placing their hand flat on his chest.

Chat can only hear Honey repeat, "get out," when they gently shove Guy backwards so they can close the door again. Their face displays a cheeky grin as they stifle a soft laugh at the sound of a very flustered, and probably offended, Guy.

Then they sit back in their chair and turn their attention back to their stream.

WHAT THE ACTUALLY FRICK WAS THAT??

NOOOOOOOO

DONT GO BACK TO PLAYING UNDERTALE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

★someone donated $20★

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ASK HIM OUT??

Honey feigned confusion as they quirked an eyebrow at the message, "I did ask him out."

NO TF YOU DID NOT

They did not just say that

I

Want

To

Murder

GODDAMNIT

Calm down satan

THIS IS TOO CRUEL EVEN FOR YOU

NOOOO HE SOUNDED SO CONFUSED 😭😭

"I really don't understand what you guys are talking about. I asked him to get out, that's what you all wanted."

MOTHERFU-

THAT IS NOT WHAT ASKING SOMEONE OUT MEANS AND YOU KNOW IT

Teaching [Honey] How to Flirt; Lesson 153: asking someone out means to ask someone on a date

SHUT UP

THEY ALREADY KNOW THAT THEY'RE JUST MEAN

I want my 100 dollars back /hj

[Honey] is deceitful and finds joy in manipulating the emotions of others. I believe they may be some kind of sadist.

Kinky

Y'all need to chill fr

GUYS GUYS LOOK SOMEONE CLIPPED IT HE CALLED THEM HONEY 🥺🥺

"oh, shi-"

—

Honey has adjusted their streaming schedule to line up with Guy's work schedule. This way, he will interrupt them less.

It's a win win for the both of them, because when Guy gets home after a day at work, all he wants is love and affection which he cannot get if his honey is streaming.

But there are times when the stream goes on longer than expected, or Guy gets off early.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey was playing Life is Strange when they heard the front door open. They paused for a moment, expecting to hear Guy's usual "Honey, I'm home" call to announce his presence.

But it didn't come.

They paused the game and lowered their headphones, confusion evident on their face as they turned in their chair slightly, listening to the sounds of Guy putting down his work bag and taking off his shoes.

When the noises stopped, Honey assumed Guy must've just had a long day. They decided they'd check on him after they wrapped up this stream.

A few minutes went by; Honey had nearly forgotten Guy was home, it was so quiet.

★someone donated $1★

HoneysHeaven: Honeeyyy :(

There he is.

The way he typed out their nickname and added a frowny face made them feel soft, and they practically had to physically restrain themself from going, "what, baby?"

Instead they said, "what is it, Guy?"

awwww

He's calling them Honey 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Who made our boy sad??

HoneysHeaven: I'm dyiiing :((

I want to kiss chloe so bad u have no idea

WHAT

OH NO 😰

SOMEONE CALL 911 🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑

NO GOD PLEASE TAKE ME INSTEAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Honey left the room without a second thought, their feet leading them straight to where Guy had bundled himself up on the couch. The TV was on, playing the cartoon network channel for some reason, and the lights were off save for a table lamp.

Holding his phone in front of his face while he lay on his side, he turned to look at Honey when he heard their footsteps.

His hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes, and his cheeks were flushed.

"Honeeyyy," he pouted, his voice coming out strained and scratchy.

Guy had come home sick.

They checked his temperature, got him a cold cloth, brought him medicine, and basically played nurse before finally returning to their stream.

They'd only been gone for 15 minutes.

WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO

OH GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE

WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM THATS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO

EVERYONE CALM DOWN

WE GOTTA CALL THE NAVY

What is happening?

I CANT TAKE THIS THE STRESS IS TOO MUCH

I hope Guy is ok 😭

THE ROBOTS ARE RUNNING THE NAVY

NOT THE NAVY 😰😰😰😰😰😰

Guys I'm getting in my helicopter, who wants a ride?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ME

ME

ME TOO

🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁

WAIT EVERYONE THEYRE BACK

Honey gets back to find the chat in utter chaos, but they assure them that everything is fine. Guy is just dramatic.

Things went back to normal for about half an hour.

But then the door opened, and two hands appeared, just in view, flat on the floor.

Honey turns around to see this, "Guy, what are you doing?"

They only get a tired groan, that sounds more like a whine, in response.

Oh nooooo 🥺🥺

Our boy is sicky ☹️☹️☹️

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I'll get the rabies shot ready

Honey crouches in front of Guy, who is sprawled out face first on the floor. "Are you wearing my hoodie again?"

Another hum of discomfort. He really isn't feeling well.

They place their hand on his head and pet his hair, tilting their head slightly and speaking in a low voice, "what do you need, baby?"

Guy made "hmph" noise, and tapped his hands which were still stretched out in front of him.

Honey stood, and made their way back over to their computer.

Hope he gets better soon ❤️

Aw my goodness he's wearing their hoodie 😍😍

I'm sick too me and guy are twinsies fr

Are we just gonna ignore that th-

They ended the stream. They don't have time to do their regular sign off, they have a sick Guy to take care of.