#will read after work and thoroughly freak out in the comments then

[shadowkoo]

Ten out of Ten

→ Summary: For the past three years, Kim Taehyung has made it his mission to annoy you relentlessly on campus, finding every possible way to drive you up the wall during your shared classes. However, as you both enter your senior year, something strange happens. Taehyung begins to sense a shift in his energy, realizing he might just have some secret feelings for you. What unfolds when you make this earth-shattering discovery too?

↠ kth x f.reader | 8.6k words | 18+ ↠ genre: smut, humor, college au, enemies to lovers, fratboy!bangtan

→ Warnings: explicit & unprotected sex, consensual drunk sex, shower sex, ‘revenge’ sex (all fun and games), alcohol consumption, party crashed by police, dirty talk, soft kissing, rough kissing, hard dom!taehyung, soft dom!taehyung, grinding, fingering, sloppy oral sex, cock swallowing, choking on tae’s cock, throat fucking, slight praising, begging, sense of ownership, size kink, taehyung has a huge dong, belly bulge, reader gets dicked down almost too good (if that’s a thing), breast & nipple play, riding, reversal, biting, teasing, cockwarming, creampie, cum play, cum eating, cum stuffing, spanking, choking ft. tae’s beautiful hands, pussy slapping, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, multiple sex scenes

→ Author note: Inspired by this popular post!! If you’d like to read this on ao3 instead it’s been crossposted here! As always, all likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated <3

“This is wrong. This is so wrong.” He moans after pushing you up against his closed bedroom door, “Are you sure? Are you drunk?” You roll your eyes.

“Stop trying to talk me out of this,” you whisper while leaving wet kisses along his jawline. You’ve waited too long. There’s no way in hell you’re stopping now. Lifting your head up and looking into his eyes, you continue, “I didn’t drink that much. I want this. I want you.”

He groans and presses his lips into yours yet again. “I swear this wasn’t my intention,” he says after pulling back.

You kiss him hard, but your quick attempt to shut him up doesn’t work.

“I promise it wasn’t,” he blurts, “I was just being honest, you know the rules of the game.” He pulls you close again as his lips flutter around your neck, causing an airy sigh to escape from your parted ones.

“No more talking. Please.” You pull his face back up and let his lips harshly reattach to yours. He proceeds to kiss you, slowing down when you try to speed things up.

“I just need you to know that I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he repeats.

“Taehyung!” You whine as your eyes tell him to stop worrying about it, “Shut up and kiss me.”

“I need to hear you say it. I need to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

You pull back slightly from his embrace to tug your shirt off, “Tae please,“ you beg between kisses, the slick from your heat seeping through your thin underwear, "Just fuck me already.”

Earlier that day…

“Taehyung! You asshole!” you holler while chasing after the guy who’s currently running along the sidewalk with your history paper in hand.

You finally catch up to him by the fountain that sits at the campus’s center, watching him nervously as he jokes around, holding the most important five thousand words you’ve ever written.

“I will kill you if you get a single drop of water on that! It’s due in ten minutes!” you threaten as he tosses the stapled paper between his hands. “Taehyung, please. I was up all night writing this. It’s worth forty percent of my grade,” you beg, really hoping he’ll take a step down before anything bad happens.

“Quit freaking out, I’m not going-” his words are short-lived as a gust of wind steals the paper from his loose grip. You both watch, completely horrified, as it flutters through the air in slow motion and falls directly down into the clear water.

“Oh no. No no no. Oh my god. I swear to god that wasn’t supposed to happen! I was just teasing!” Taehyung panics as he jumps through the fountain, slipping and thoroughly soaking himself further as rushes over to your sunken assignment. He wipes away the water on his face and retrieves the soggy paper lying on the vibrant tile below. Drops of ink run off the paper, smearing the barely legible words even more.

You feel as though you've momentarily forgotten how to breathe.

“Okay. It’s okay,” you say to yourself, trying to calm down, “Everything’s fine. It’s fine. I can just head back to the library and reprint it, I’d rather be a few minutes late for class than get a zero on this.”

“Uh, hmmm, yeah…” Taehyung clears his throat nervously, scratching the back of his neck while doing so. “About that…”

“Don’t say it,” you threaten anxiously. You internally beg that what you assume he’s going to say next is not true. It can’t be. You will it not to be.

“The library closed twenty minutes ago. It always closes early on Thursdays and Fridays,” He says sheepishly with a face full of remorse, though you doubt he actually feels it.

“Great,” you huff, “That’s just fucking great.” The calmness dissipates as rage takes over your body. “I honestly cannot believe you sometimes. Will you ever grow the fuck up? We’re not freshmen anymore! You can’t just dick around like this. Wrecking each others’ projects was funny three years ago when our grades didn’t matter but we can’t keep doing this. Just-” you take a deep breath to regain some of your calmness, “Get. The fuck. Away from me.” You rip your destroyed paper out of his hands and storm off in the direction of the building where your class is held.

Maybe that was a little rude. Actually, no, it wasn’t. He deserved it. He ruined your history paper. Intentionally, too.

“I’m coming with you, I’ll explain what happened,” Taehyung persists, somehow keeping up with your angry stomps as you head to class.

“Quit following me, I’m screwed enough as it is,” you grumble, knowing that he’s trudging along behind you even without turning around to confirm it.

His footsteps slow once you reach the outside of the history department.

Maybe he finally got the message.

“Ahhh, Miss Y/N. You’re late,” your professor says as you enter the quiet classroom and try to make your way to your empty assigned seat. He stops you before you can sit, “Do you have your paper ready to turn in?”

You shamefully drop what’s left of your paper into your professors’ hands.

“Is this your submission?” he asks, holding it up with his fingers, watching as the remaining water droplets fall to the floor. Your classmates snicker as they watch the scene in front of them unfold.

Yet, just as you're about to respond, the classroom door violently swings open, instantly capturing everyone's attention in unison.

“It’s my fault,” Taehyung pants after barging in.

“Excuse me, sir, who are you? And why are you dripping in my lecture?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” you quietly seethe.

“I considered heading to my class but I just felt too bad,” he says to you before turning to your professor. “It’s my fault her paper is soaked, I mean look at me. I am too. After an unfortunate turn of events - events that neither of us anticipated - it fell in the fountain and so did I. But you can see that…because I’m wet. Wet like water wet, not like the other kind of wet. That would be weird, considering… But probably more awkward than anything though. If I’m being honest. You know, my mother taught me that honesty is the best policy. So that’s what I’m doing here. Being honest…about me…and her paper, being, uh, you know, wet…”

It's unclear who is more astonished, you or your professor. Is this really happening right now? You’ve never heard Taehyung ramble like this. If you weren’t so stunned or feeling secondhand embarrassment for him, you would’ve probably laughed hysterically.

The older man gives Taehyung a once over, his eyes peering over his reading glasses as they travel up and down the damp clothes stuck to the twenty-something’s figure. Displeased, he turns to look at the disintegrating mess of your so-called paper that’s stuck between his fingers.

“Haha, yeah…so uh, I’m gonna go now,” Taehyung says as he finger guns to the door before anyone else can get a word in, “I hope this is resolved. And um, I’m going to make sure I never sign up for one of your classes, Mr. uh, I don’t know your name. But that doesn’t matter. Trust me when I say you won’t ever have to see me again.” And with that, he exits the class with the same amount of speed as he entered.

Your professor shakes his head in disbelief. “Email me your paper once you get seated and I’ll only dock you ten percent off from your original grade, as long as you promise that won’t ever happen again.”

“Deal.”

“He did what?” your roommate’s voice echoes from inside her bedroom as she makes her way into the kitchen where you’re reheating leftovers for dinner.

“I know! I could’ve killed him. I don’t know what it is lately, but he’s been irritating me more than usual. The way he just went on and on, rambling like a complete idiot. Ugh!” you mutter while waiting for the microwave to beep. The whole situation still has you mildly irate.

Sana gives you a pointed look.

“What?” you squint your eyes at her, “What does that face mean?”

“When are you two going to realize that you’re like, in love with each other? It’s always Taehyung did this or you did that. FYI, we’re all tired of hearing about it. Girl, I adore you and your little rants most of the time, but it’s exhausting listening to you two complain about each other literally all the time. We’re in the same friend group and it’s just so obvious to us all that you guys like each other, but are just stubbornly ignoring the facts that are so obviously right in front of you.”

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that. Dinner is done,” you say, brushing aside what you just heard. It’s too crazy to even think about.

You liking Taehyung? Taehyung liking you? Absolutely not. No way! That’s ridiculous, that’s just…almost crazy enough to be true.

The thought surprises you.

Sure, Taehyung is nice to look at. You’ve never questioned his attractiveness. But you drew the line a long time ago, knowing better than to allow yourself to grow any form of attachment to the guy who prefers to drive you batshit crazy.

It’s just easier that way. Yeah, sure, playing around and pissing each other off gives you some kind of satisfaction, but you don’t need him in your life. He isn’t that significant.

Or is he?

The more you think about it, the harder a time you have imagining your life without the messy-haired asshole who you’ve somehow grown to…love?

“Whatever, give me a bowl,” Sana says, pulling you from your thoughts before you’re able to dwell on the ‘L’ word very much. “I’m starving. And we need to eat quickly so we have enough time to get ready.”

“Oh, fuck me sideways,” you moan, annoyed with yourself for forgetting, “It’s Thursday.”

Sana’s boyfriend’s fraternity hosts a party every other Thursday night. There’s no way you’re getting out of it either, seeing as you promised her two weekends ago you’d go to the next since you bailed.

“Uh-uh! Don’t even start,” Sana warns. “You’re coming tonight whether you want to or not!”

A frat party is the worst kind of party in your opinion. Memories of the last one you attended float around your mind; wannabee rappers holding their phones by your ear so you can hear their ‘latest diss track’, girls arguing over a guy who doesn’t deserve either in your opinion, drunk couples practically fucking on the couch.

Oh, don’t forget about the pick me girl begging for attention or that guy who gets so fucking obnoxious and is willing to start a fistfight with anyone within an arm's distance. And lastly, the typical fuckboy that will say anything to get you into his bed. Yeah, frat parties are so not your thing.

But you promised Sana, and she’d hold it against you until the end of time if you didn’t go tonight.

You made a plan anyway. Show up, say hi to a few friends, have a few drinks, and disappear before anyone can notice you’ve made a run for it. Fingers crossed that you can pull it off.

The party is in full swing when you arrive, or so you are assuming since you had to step over someone passed out on the lawn on your way toward the front steps. The door is wide open, and Sana immediately spots her boyfriend Joon from across the room. His face lights up when he notices her waving dramatically and makes his way over to you two.

“She actually came? In the flesh? Y/N, is that really you?” Namjoon teases, obviously not expecting you to make an appearance.

“Hi, Joon. Good to see you too.”

“I was surprised, she didn’t even put up a fight about it tonight.” Sana giggles as soon as Joon pulls her into his arms for a sloppy kiss. You look away and scan the room, searching through the crowd of familiar yet vague faces.

“Sana! Get a room, girl!” one of them hollers, cheering her on as she shoves her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat.

She pulls back and flips off Yoongi, the culprit and one of Joon’s frat brothers, and walks further into the house, scanning the audience for tonight.

“Hey, think you could bring some of your single friends over? Preferably a random group of them with one specific person we all have in our mind. She needs to go home with a guy tonight,” she says to Yoongi as he walks over with drinks in hand for you and Sana.

Everyone seems to understand what she’s saying, other than you, who of course is oblivious yet again as to who they’re referencing.

“I heard you had a rough day,” Yoongi says, handing you one of the plastic cups with a sideways grin as you give Sana an agitated look after smacking her on the arm. But she doesn’t seem to acknowledge either and instead, smirks at Yoongi’s remark. “I have a certain person in mind. Let me see if I can find where he ran off too.”

Joon laughs knowing all too well what happened, "We’ll do our best, see you in a few.”

"Oh my god, Sana! I can’t believe you sometimes,” you whine after the guys are out of earshot.

"What? It’s not like I’m wrong! You need a good time tonight just to relax. You don’t have any Friday classes anyway so have some fun.” She shrugs her shoulders and walks away to say hi to some of her other girlfriends.

While she’s gone and the guys are hunting, you spot Taehyung leaning up against a bookshelf filled with novels you bet haven’t been touched in decades. You try your hardest to weave your way through the crowded area before he can notice you, but unfortunately, your eyes lock with his just as you’re squeezing through a group of girls you’ve never seen before. Freshmen, probably.

“What are you doing here?” you question, not even attempting to hide the annoyed tone in your voice when you feel his presence behind you.

“What do you mean, ’What am I doing here?’ I live here. What are you doing here? I thought you hated these sorts of things.”

"You live here?” you ask, ignoring his question as your head whips around. “I didn’t know you were in the same fraternity as Namjoon.”

“I didn’t know you didn’t know. Sorry?” He laughs as you take the last sip of your mystery drink. “Need another? I’m heading to the kitchen.”

“Uh, whatever you’re having,” you say. Alcohol is alcohol.

“Sure thing. Oh hey, Sana! Where’s Joon?” Taehyung asks, acknowledging that your sidekick returned, but without her significant other.

“Hey Tae, he’s in the Blue Room. Which is where I must drag you to,” she smiles devilishly, grabbing your arm to pull you away. Though unbeknownst to her, you would gladly go anywhere that’s away from Taehyung right now.

“Ahhh, is it already time?” he wonders out loud. “I’ll meet you there,” he says and leaves for the kitchen to grab drinks.

As you’re being pulled away, the only thought parading through your mind is how much you want to rip his head off for the stunt he pulled earlier, but also the multiple ways you can get your revenge on him for costing you ten percent on a paper that would have otherwise been an A+.

Sana pulls you into the second living room, the Blue Room as it’s ‘famously’ known for its somewhat derogatory, yet exclusive, activities. If you could call them that.

Only those invited are allowed to enter. You’re not sure why, but the guys take their rule pretty seriously.

You recognize nearly all of the people already in here, the majority being Namjoon’s frat brothers;

Seokjin; the one that’s always surrounded by both girls and guys. His presence easily fills the room and even without saying a single word he demands their attention.

Yoongi; the one that loves to start shit and can smell drama and sexual tension from a mile away. He knows how to push the right buttons to hear precisely what he wants.

Hoseok; the one who is always smirking about something that no one else seems to know. Not really a gossiper, but definitely knows everything about everyone.

Namjoon; the guy who everyone respects but still teases for being totally whipped for Sana. He’s a softie but can still kick anyone’s ass in mere seconds.

Jimin; the sweet one with a dark side you never want to get on. You’ve heard stories that will haunt you for a while.

And finally, Jungkook; the one who never knows what’s going on but is having a great time regardless. A happy dork who can make you laugh no matter what.

Somehow Taehyung fits into this group too, but you don’t know exactly where he stands yet.

The rest of the room consists of girls you’ve seen around campus and guys attempting to gain Seokjin’s total attention but would probably never get it. Although there are a handful of faces you haven’t seen before, which is refreshing.

It looks like everyone is getting ready to play Ten out of Ten, which is basically a drinking game to initiate party hookups, a ‘how much do you like me’ sort of thing.

To play, everyone in the room writes their name on a little piece of paper and it gets thrown into a bowl. The bowl then gets passed around and each person draws a name out of the bowl, but can’t look at the name until it’s their turn. One person starts and says the name on the paper they pulled and then rates the person a number out of ten if they would sleep with them or not. So then the person whose name was called would go next, and say who they have and rate them. Like a chain game, and you just have to say a number out of ten if you would bang them or not. It’s not really supposed to be a drinking game but somehow it’s become a tradition to take a shot after you say your rating, and especially if someone says ten out of ten - then everyone takes a shot.

Sana grabs two slips of paper and hands one to you. You write your name and hand the pen to her. ‘So much for a couple of drinks and dipping,’ you say internally, realizing that the game will last a while with this many participants. Hopefully, Taehyung remembers your drink. You’re going to need it.

You sigh and sit on the arm of the chair Sana is in as you wait for the game to start.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Taehyung walking towards you with, thank god, a rather large cup in his hand.

“I hope this satisfies your alcoholic needs,” he jokes, “I made it the same way as mine, but with a little less alcohol since I didn’t want to fuck you up a lot."

You take it from him and raise the cup to your mouth. The scent is strong, and your eyes twitch after taking a small sip. He laughs at your quiet sputtering.

“I’ll be good after it hits me. Thanks.”

"Yeah, sure. No problem. And sorry about earlier, again. I know you’ll get me back soon enough and it will be well deserved,” He grins before walking over to sit next to Jungkook.

“Alright, alright.” Jimin starts as he walks around the room with the bowl in his hands, letting everyone grab a piece of paper while he goes over the rules for the newbies invited. The bowl makes its way around the room, and everyone tosses in theirs before Jimin shakes it up and starts letting people pull out a folded piece of paper.

Once everyone has one, he sets the bowl aside, “Everyone ready?”

“Wait, I didn’t get one,” Taehyung says looking around, somewhat confused and a little suspicious. Something’s going on. He just doesn’t know what exactly.

“Oh I didn’t know you were back already, this is the last one,” Jimin says, handing him a name slip, failing to hide the evil grin on his face. “Okay, let’s get this started!”

About ten minutes into the game, you are already feeling the buzz. Whatever Taehyung gave you is pretty damn good now that you’re drunk enough to not taste the alcohol. Meaning, you’re drinking more than you’re paying attention to the game.

Needless to say, you’re a little spaced out until you hear someone say your name. You look up and make eye contact with Taehyung from across the room.

He chuckles awkwardly and sits up. “Of course,” he mutters under his breath, not-so-silently cursing Jimin at the same time.

Taehyung has my name?

“Oh, please go on. We can’t wait to hear what you have to share,” Joon grins as Taehyung responds with a death glare.

The room goes silent in anticipation of what he’s going to say, especially your shared friends. They’re watching very intently as Taehyung takes a swig of his drink and curses again.

“Ten out of ten would bang,” he announces, pausing for a quick moment to take a shot along with everyone else, but you. You’re too awe and unable to do anything but gawk at him as he continues.

“But also ten out of ten would care for you afterward, ten out of ten would let you stay over, ten out of ten would tuck you in, ten out of ten would cuddle the shit outta you in bed, ten out of ten would make sure you fall asleep okay, and ten out of ten would make you breakfast in the morning.”

You’re sure you look crazy with your eyes popping out and your jaw nearly on the floor. Everyone else’s reaction pretty much mirrors yours. Everyone except Sana who is squealing like crazy next to you. A few of the girls glare at you as the guys whoop and holler.

You’re unsure how you feel about what just happened. If it even happened. Or if you somehow hallucinated the whole thing.

Did Taehyung just confess? Does that even count as a confession? Or was he just playing along with the game? Did the room get smaller? Why the hell is it so hot in here?

You take a deep breath, remembering that everyone’s eyes are still on you since it’s your turn, and yet you’re frozen in your spot.

Do they expect you to say something before you take your turn? Do you even want to say anything? Maybe he was joking, maybe you could laugh it off. Or maybe he meant it… What if he meant it?

You fiddle with the piece of paper between your fingers before deciding to unfold it and get on with it so you can get the hell out of this small room.

“Um. Woojin, six out of ten,” you spit out as quickly as you can and immediately get up to leave. You don’t even know where you are going, just following where your feet are taking you.

You have two options; you can either leave and face the wrath of Sana when she comes home - if she comes home - or you can hide somewhere until you can come up with a better plan while you attempt to sober up. The latter is what your subconscious goes with as your body stumbles upstairs to find an unoccupied bedroom to hide out in.

The first one was not locked but definitely should have been. Thankfully you didn’t see too much of the two who you found in a compromising position, and thankfully they probably won’t remember the incident in the morning either.

Fortunately, the next room you barge into is free. After shutting the door, you lean up against it and close your eyes while you focus on your breathing. Your heart is still racing as you try to not think about what happened downstairs.

Feeling calmed down enough, you open your eyes and look around. The first thing that catches your eye is the band posters that cover the wall. Everything from Sinatra and Dean Martin, to The Doors and The Rolling Stones, to Bad Omens and Bring Me The Horizon.

Whoever this room belongs to has good taste. For being a boy's room, it’s pretty clean too. Yeah, there are clothes spewn here and there, but it isn’t any worse than the state that you left your own room in.

Sighing, you sit on the edge of the bed and cover your face with your hands.

What now?

"Yeah, sorry to ruin your moment or whatever, but my room is off-limits. If you’re gonna puke or pass out I’d rather you find somewhere else to do it.”

You lift your head to see the one and only person you did not expect to see in your current confused state standing in the doorway. “Taehyung.”

“Oh,” he says, “It’s you. How did you know this was my room?”

“I didn’t. I was hiding.” Shit, you weren’t supposed to say that.

“Oh…” he says again, shutting his door so the noise of the party lessens. He walks over to sit next to you on the bed, "I was looking for you. After you, uh, ran out.” He hesitates to see if you say anything. You don’t.

“Look,” he begins, “I don’t want to make things awkward. I know we’re friends. Sort of. When we’re not trying to murder each other and all that. But I’ve been into you for a while now and I just can’t hide it any longer. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take you out sometime."

Once again, you’re gawking.

"Oh god, are you gonna puke or something?” His eyes are panicky as he looks around the room for something you can use in case you do.

“No! No, I just, ahh…” It’s now or never, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am.”

"And did you mean what you said earlier?” You say, referring to his confession in The Blue Room. You try to hide how hard your heart is pounding inside your chest. Just as you would have to hide how hurt you’re going to be when he says the inevitable.

“Well…” He trails off, and you prepare for the worst.

He wasn’t serious, it was some kind of joke, you misheard him, there was another person with your name in the room-

“Hello? Are you sure you’re not going to puke? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine, was it a lie, just for the game?” you say leaning towards his body, his inevitably doing the same. “Or were you being honest?”

“I was being one hundred percent honest. And I still am. I like you, a lot. As hard as that is for me to admit.” His hand grazes yours and rests on top of it. He was half expecting you to pull away and run out of the room but is more than happy to realize that isn’t the case. Maybe you feel something too. His eyes burn into yours as he awaits your response.

It’s hard for you to admit your feelings as well. If you weren’t both so perfectly stubborn and bull-headed, you might have made this conclusion a long time ago.

You hate to admit that. You hate being wrong.

But Taehyung doesn’t feel wrong to you. His hand on yours feels so…right.

"Good,” you sigh in relief, finally giving in to your heart. You lean in closer and lightly brush your lips against his, pulling back to gauge his reaction.

Taehyung’s breath hitches. The moment you pull away he hastily stands up and moves to his door, his back pressed flat against the wooden surface while the angel and devil on his shoulders argue.

Fuck, he wants you. But he knows you’ve been drinking. And he would never put you in this position and knows how much he would hate himself if you woke up the next day regretting your drunk self’s impulsive decision.

“Don’t do that to me, fuck. I won’t be able to resist. I want to take you out first. You deserve to be taken out on a date first,” he says, running his hands through his hair. You get up and walk towards him. “Several dates. Shit.”

“You still can. But, you know, after you fuck me*.*” Feeling confident, you take another step closer to him. And then another. Until you are pressed up against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as your lips hover over his neck. Finally, his hand grabs the side of your face, pulling you in before he unleashes his lips onto yours. Teeth, tongue, and all.

“This is wrong. This is so wrong.” He moans after pushing you up against his closed bedroom door, “Are you sure? Are you drunk?” You roll your eyes.

“Stop trying to talk me out of this,” you whisper while leaving wet kisses along his jawline. You’ve waited too long. There’s no way in hell you’re stopping now. Lifting your head and looking into his eyes, you continue, “I didn’t drink that much. I want this. I want you.”

He groans and presses his lips into yours yet again. “I swear this wasn’t my intention,” he says after pulling back.

You kiss him hard, but your quick attempt to shut him up doesn’t work.

“I promise it wasn’t,” he blurts, “I was just being honest, you know the rules of the game.” He pulls you close again as his lips flutter around your neck, causing an airy sigh to escape from your parted ones.

“No more talking. Please.” You pull his face back up and let his lips harshly reattach to yours. He proceeds to kiss you, slowing down when you try to speed things up.

“I just need you to know that I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he repeats.

“Taehyung!” You whine as your eyes tell him to stop worrying about it, “Shut up and kiss me.”

“I need to hear you say it. I need to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

You pull back slightly from his embrace to tug your shirt off, “Tae please,“ you beg between kisses, the slick from your heat seeping through your thin underwear, "Just fuck me already.”

And just like that, the switch in his mind flips.

Taehyung wastes no time lifting you, bringing your clothed center up against his. You moan into his mouth feeling his hardness pressing into you through his jeans.

Your senses tingle, from the way his hands are holding your jaw, how his scent encompasses you, the roughness of hips grinding against yours, and finally - from the way his kisses deepen with urgency as he carries you back over to his unmade bed.

Once there, he leans you down gently before hovering over your body, letting his hands run along your hips as they make their way to the front of your pants. His fingers tease the skin alongside the waistline of your checkered jeans as he frantically works to undo them, pulling them and your panties off simultaneously.

Your eyes meet as his hand slides slowly up the inside of your legs, right up to your center. One of your hands covers your mouth as his fingers weave their way through your dewy folds, and dive deep into your core.

He grins wolfishly as they curl with each small thrust into you, and soft mewls pour out from your parted mouth. “That’s it, let me hear you,” he praises as his fingers continue their divine torture.

“Oh my god, Tae,” you cry out, reaching for him as his fingers quicken. “Closer. I need you closer to me,” you pant, grabbing his shirt in the process and ripping it open, giggling unapologetically as you hear the small buttons hit the floor.

His lips close around your earlobe, sucking slightly as his fingers continue gliding in and out of you, “You owe me a new shirt.”

“Consider it payback for the fountain.”

“Payback, shmayback,” he grins while pressing his thumb up against your clit, pulling a gasp from you.

“Oh shut up already and put your mouth somewhere it matters,” you say slyly while non-so-subtly pushing his head down your torso until he understands your intention.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathes before tasting you. His tongue sliding between your folds is nearly enough to send you spiraling. And as if it isn’t enough already, Taehyung reinserts two fingers into your heat as he laps at your delicate clit, bringing you closer and closer with each lick.

The taste of your sweet center has his rock-hard member twitching in anticipation, but he refuses to rush this. He wants nothing more than for you to come all over his face.

He deserves it.

You deserve it.

Soon enough you’re shaking from your very core as the waves rip through your body. Taehyung presses your hips down as he takes all your body has to offer him.

“Holy shit,” you pant, that was undeniably one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had.

He releases your center with a loud smacking sound and leaves delicate kisses on the inside of each of your thighs, admiring the goosebumps he causes on your velvety soft skin, before moving upward to reattach his lips to yours in a sweet, yet needy, embrace.

Taehyung wraps his arms around you to unclasp your bra while you catch your breath, giving special attention to the soft mounds now held in his hands. Your fingers twist through his hair as his tongue decides to flick one of your nipples before covering it entirely with his mouth. He swirls his tongue around them slowly and gently biting down just enough to hold the hardened nub between his teeth.

“Mmm, I want you,” he whispers, working to undo his own pants this time.

You breathe heavily, “I want-,” the rest of the words caught in your throat as you take in his length. You never expected him to be lacking in that area, but he definitely is larger than what you had anticipated.

“Like what you see?” he smirks, rather enjoying how you gape at him.

“Yes.”

Taehyung swallows hard; your honesty turns him on even more, if that’s possible.

“First things first,” he says, pulling away to grab a condom from his nightstand. You stop him.

“No, I want to feel you. All of you.”

He looks at you quizzically.

“I have an IUD, there’s nothing to worry about. Unless this is your way of telling me you’ve got…something?”

His eyes burn into yours, and he growls “No condom then,” quickly shutting down your question.

Grabbing your hips and holding them in place, Taehyung runs the head of his cock through your damp folds, then slaps your center with his throbbing tip, teasing you once more before he sinks deep into you without another thought.

Watching the way your lower stomach fills out as he pushes all the way into you only adds fuel to his fire. Right now, in this single instant, he owns you. And he’s going to make sure you know it.

Your fingernails dig into his biceps while he stretches you out in the most perfect way, gasping when he quickly removes himself and slams back into you.

“Oh fuck,” he moans, “You feel so good baby, so much better than I could have ever dreamed.”

You wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him in deeper if it’s even possible. Taehyung shifts his weights and thrusts into you at a new angle, one that practically makes you see stars.

“Right there, yes. Yes!”

Biting into his shoulder when it becomes almost too much, you use your legs and push on his chest to flip him over so you’re on top, riding him at your own naughty pace.

Taehyung’s hands rest on your hips as you glide on top of him. His thrown-back head and mouthful of colorful words should be enough to prove how much he’s loving this, how much he’s loving you.

But as much as he adores watching your beautiful face twisting and turning with pleasure from below, and your perfect tits bouncing with each swift movement of your hips, he needs to be in charge right now before he loses his mind this early into the long night that awaits you both.

Whipping you around, he hovers over top of your backside and pulls your ass up against him. “Tell me you’ve never had better,” he demands while wrapping an arm around your waist as he pounds into you again from the new position. “Tell me how much you’ve needed me and my cock,” he growls into your ear with one hand moving up towards your neck.

Words are impossible at this point, your head is spinning with too many thoughts of how wonderful you feel and how hot he is in bed.

“Tell me!” he says again, gripping your neck tighter, his long fingers wrapping around your jawline.

“N-no one’s cock is better than yours,” you gasp, his pace picking with your obedience to answer just how he wanted. “No one’s,” you repeat, your eyes rolling back into your head as your insides start to coil.

He releases his hand from your neck and you forget about its whereabouts until there’s a sharp sting on your ass, that’s when you realize the sound that echoes through the room is from his hand cracking against your cheeks. “Mmm, again,” you beg, loving the after effects his spanks have on your body.

Taehyung doesn’t have to be told twice and marks you again, softly massaging the area where his red handprint remains afterward.

Your heated breaths blend as your bodies dance together on the edge, waiting to fall into perfect bliss. He flips you over one last time, wanting to face you as you come undone around him.

Taehyung leans over and nuzzles into your neck, letting his senses take over his body as he pulls you closer and closer toward white, hot pleasure.

“Oh my god!” you scream as the coil deep inside you finally snaps, sending electric sparks through your body.

Taehyung could have died and gone to heaven feeling your insides spasm and clench around him. He grits his teeth as he pumps his seed deep inside you.

His body weight falls on top of yours, energy totally spent.

You find yourself drifting off to the sound of his breathing that matches yours, and fall into a light slumber with your bodies still entwined.

The sound of sirens abruptly awakens you. Rubbing your heavy eyelids, the room flashes between red and blue as the police car lights shine through Taehyung’s second-story windows. You try to sit up but are pulled down by a heavy arm.

“Mmmm,” Taehyung mutters beside you, “Party’s crashed, it’ll quiet down again in a sec once everyone’s out.” His raspy voice tickles your neck and his hand slides down your side, resting on your hip.

A loud crashing sound followed by mumbling voices and footsteps moving outside his door wakes Taehyung up more.

“Everyone out besides residents. Time to go home!” an officer yells in the distance, and more footsteps echo as the house empties.

He sits up and listens, falling back down into bed next to you when he hears the familiar sound of the squad car door closing and driving off to find the next college party to bust.

Thinking it’s probably time to leave yourself, you reach for your shirt that’s hanging from the desk chair near his bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it time for me to go?”

“No.” He leans on a bent arm, the other reaching for you to pull you back into his warm embrace. “Do you want to go?”

“No,” you breathe.

“Then stay,” he whispers before kissing you again.

The rest of your late night together is soft and sensual, filled with loving gazes, slow movements, and shallow panting as you lay together as one.

You find yourself getting lost in his touch, every nerve in your body blazes with pure passion this time.

Taehyung whispers your name and wraps your hands in his, pulling them up above your head.

Each roll of his hips draws silky moans from your parted lips. Heat radiates from where hands gently grip your thighs as you writhe beneath him.

You claw at his back, completely and utterly lost in the pleasure as you take the plunge into another mind-blowing orgasm.

He loves how your body reacts to his touch. He loves how you squeeze around his cock, quivering uncontrollably around him as he finds his own wonderful release.

He pushes into you once more before letting himself go. Your head swirls as he fills you with his seed, while your heart pounds to the same rhythm as his.

Taehyung’s pace slows as you tremble around him, he finds it hard to quit thrusting. He doesn’t want to forget this, doesn’t want to waste a moment where he’s not buried deep inside you.

You feel the same way, feeling full in more ways than one, and your heart flutters when you make this realization. Taehyung completes you.

Once his breath returns to its normal rate, he pulls out slowly and watches in admiration as his seed leaks out from your center, dripping between your folds.

He freezes with his eyes glued to the mess he created inside of you, wanting to burn this image into his memory forever.

Taehyung gives in to his sudden urge and uses the pad of his thumb to massage your sensitive heat. Sensually, he pushes the remaining cream back into you, wanting it to stay inside you forever.

He eventually lays back down and pulls you on top of him, the exhaustion starting to set in. His lips leave precious kisses along your cheeks, jawline, and neck before attaching to yours. He sighs contently and rests his hands on the curve of your lower back, satisfied with the way your body conforms perfectly against his.

You lay there, enjoying the blissful moment until you take in what just happened. You have no regrets, Taehyung was everything. But your head is still spinning as thoughts like ‘what does this mean’ and ‘where do we stand now’ float through your brain.

Your heart rate picks up as you start to feel a small sense of panic take over. You need to clear your head and clean yourself properly. A shower. That’ll help.

You’re sweaty, sticky, and still covered in a combination of yours and his cum, yet Taehyung refused to let you roll off of him, "Stay, you’re warm.”

“I’m gross, and I could use a shower,” you say, glancing at him, “if that’s okay…”

“Yeah, absolutely,” he nods as you move off of him. He gets up, presumably grabbing you some clothes. He digs around in his dresser before pulling out a pair of clean sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Here, and there’s the bathroom.” He says pointing to the door that’s to the left of the bed, “Make sure you lock the other door, it’s attached to Yoongi’s room. I’ll join you in a few.” There’s a sudden skip in your heart as you watch him slip his jeans back on and lean down to kiss your cheek. Biting down a creeping smile, you give him one final wave before leaving his room.

Taehyung heads downstairs to grab a glass of water. The party is long over now after the bust and he steps around empty cups scattered down the steps.

As he makes the turn into the kitchen and reaches for a glass, to say that he was surprised to be greeted by Jimin and his know-it-all face would be a straight-faced lie. Exhaling, he closes the cabinet door.

“Don’t even say it,” Taehyung warns. He has more important things to listen to than Jimin’s ‘I told you so’s’.

"Say what? I have no idea what you mean…” he smirks. “Okay I lied, I told you! I totally told you she was into you. You’re welcome by the way.”

It takes Taehyung a few seconds to comprehend where his friend is going with that.

“Oh my god! I should have known. You purposely gave me her piece of paper during the game!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t you have someone waiting?”

“You think you’re so sneaky, don’t you?”

He grins coyly, “Maybe just a little bit.”

Feeling the sunshine’s warmth on your skin wakes you up at daybreak. You stretch and snuggle back into the cozy bed. Taehyung is still snoring softly beside you, unbothered by the sound of the birds awakening.

You admire his face as he sleeps, while memories of your steamy shower late last night drift through your mind. He took extra care of you, washing your body head to toe, massaging your scalp as he shampooed your hair, and leaving warm kissing on your skin after drying you off. Of course, that was all after he held you against the glass wall of his shower and did more sinful things to your writhing body. Shuddering as you remember the filthy things he whispered to you while doing those things.

You ignore the heat pooling between your legs from the recollections of Taehyung’s long fingers and where he put them, among other things, and internally groan instead realizing you need to make your escape now before the rest of the house wakes. Before you’re caught.

And if Sana stayed over too, you’ll never hear the end of it.

The walk of shame is not something people typically look forward to, especially when you’re leaving a frat house of all places. It’s a double-shame kind of moment.

You have one leg over him and are almost able to touch the floor to make your great escape.

Taehyung peeks between his barely parted eyelashes and smiles slyly at how unaware you are. His arms close around you quickly just as your foot skims the floor, immediately pulling you against him so your face is only a mere couple of inches away from his.

“And where, pray tell, do you think you’re going?” he says with a gruff morning voice that sends another wave of heat to your center. Your cheeks flush pink as you squirm, feeling his morning wood along your thigh.

"Oh, um. Hi-”

“Oh don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you ask as you try to wiggle out of his arms, but his iron grip doesn’t allow for that.

“Acting all shy. Nuh-uh. Not allowed. Not after last night,” he announces, tugging you in for a quick kiss while his fingers tickle your side, which causes you to wriggle against him even more.

He lets out a groan and his hips involuntarily buck up into yours. That’s when you really feel him.

It’s your turn to grin wolfishly. “Oh, sorry about that,” you taunt as you press your center down onto him again and circle slowly before sitting up on your knees, leaving him between your legs wanting more contact, needing more of you.

“Fuck, you can’t just grind on me and then stop, baby. Please keep going,” he begs as he juts his hips up looking for some kind of friction.

Taehyung stills and moans uncontrollably as you palm his hardening length through the fabric of his sweatpants, and it’s nearly enough to make him see stars when you reach inside to feel him.

His voice shudders when you pull him out from the waistband of his pants. Your pointer finger glides along his satiny skin, across the vein popped out from your touch, and up to his tip to wipe the small, white dribble away.

“Ready so soon? Thought you’d be spent after last night,” you tease, knowing very well he’ll pounce on you at any moment once given the okay. He watches in awe as you bring your finger up to your lips to lick it clean.

“Mmmm,” you hum, “maybe I should take another taste first…” You bend down to lick along his length this time.

“Oh god,” he grunts, his husky voice full of desire.

Taehyung thanks the universe for not coming undone the second your sweet mouth encompasses his length. He pushes the hair out of your face so he can watch you bob up and down, your hands covering the lower part of his shaft that won’t fit in your mouth.

You press down into him as far as your body lets you, swallowing his hugeness with pride.

His hand grips your hair to your head still as he moves inside you. Slowly at first, not wanting to hurt you, but picking up the pace nonetheless, loving how you choke around him.

He pulls out of your mouth and you gasp for air, drool dripping uncontrollably from your swollen lips.

“Open,” he rasps, holding back until he’s able to place his throbbing head on your tongue and shoots his release into your throat with a loud moan.

His body trembles as the tip of your tongue dances along the underside of his head. He gasps when your lips close around him and you work to suck the rest out of him.

His whole body shudders when you release him, the pain of being overstimulated mixing deliciously with the pleasure you make him feel. He lets out one last breath before collapsing beside you, totally drained.

You lay in bed as the sun rises up high in the sky, holding each other as you talk quietly about whatever crosses your minds, laughing every so often when one of you disagrees with the other, all while you wait to regain the energy to start your day officially.

Meaning it’s nearly noon by the time you crawl out of bed.

“C’mon, I’ll make us something to eat. You like french toast?”

The boys on the sofa ignore you as you walk behind them on your way to the kitchen with Taehyung, or so you think they do.

“Oh yeah, just like that Tae. Oooh,” Yoongi teases once you’re out of the living room, using a girly voice that is supposed to mock yours.

“Fuck, keep going, baby.” Jimin tries to imitate Taehyung but does so very poorly. Still, the overly smug look on his face taunts you childishly.

Taehyung grabs something out of the fruit bowl and whips it at them. “Go fuck yourself with that damn banana Jimin,” he hollers, muttering curses under his breath.

Awkwardly, Jimin picks up the banana that hits him in the back of the head and frowns, “Way to ruin bananas for me. Thanks.”

“As if that’s gonna stop you,” Seokjin laughs as he comes down the steps, joining the conversation. Jimin scowls. Namjoon loses it on the recliner, laughing so hard he’s not making a single sound, which in turn causes everyone to laugh with him.

“Don’t mind them, they’ve clearly lost too many brain cells,” he tells you after lifting you onto the counter next to his workstation. He turns to grab the ingredients he needs out of the fridge, and you realize with a sense of adoration, you could get used to this.

©shadowkoo 2023. All rights reserved.

[fatuismooches]

its your boy. the one and only 😈

i bring—surprise surprise! fluff.

recently i've been really obsessing at the idea of akademiya zandik actually having someone to look up to!! like his senior 🥺 someone who approves of his research and is actively critiquing him as an equal, commenting about his papers how he expected his peers would back then,, and i can just imagine a head over heels zandik trailing where ever you went,, because you have the sweetest smile and he feels so happy just being your side. and you seem happy having him close to you even though he's not talkin and just reading or writing. you tell him stuff he didn't know and he's in awe on how smart you are.,, you're not like those narrow-minded scholars in the akademiya, thats why you're far more famous in the akademiya,, like oh, your darshan's sage has their eyes on you??? everyone asks for your opinion or be in your expiditions???

and he feels sooo special when u refuse others because, well, zandik was first to get your attention so now he's going on an expedition with you. alone! and ahhh he LOOOVEESS when you defend him against others scholars whenever they comment on him badly.,, like zandik offers a solution that wasn't even inhumane but people still look at him in disgust because how dare he suggest even a thing when he's the freak of akademiya and you step up, agreeing with him and passive aggressively calling out others with a tense smile...

idk i really wanna give zandik someone who he could look up to n make him feel somewhat normal about his ideas 😭😭😭😭

OH MY. OH MY MYMYMY EUDEWWD i am actually eating this up so much... Zandik falling in love with his senior will be occupying my mind forever now thanks. Even better when you're a well-respected member of the Akademiya, everyone expects you to condemn and criticize the actions of Zandik. And he doesn't expect anything else from you at first, he thought you were just like the rest of them. But nope! Unlike the rest of your fellow scholars, instead of dismissing his work with barely a passing glance, you sat down and read it. You annotated it. You highlighted bits you agreed with, disagreed with, questions, parts that needed further clarification. All handed back to him with a smile on your face and a pat on his back, as you walked away happily.

Zandik's stunned and is already a bit head over heels.

All the other scholars are now blowing up at you. Someone like you shouldn't be doing this! He goes against what the Akademiya stands for! Why are you entertaining him! He and his ideas are freakish! You're going to regret it in the end! All you hear is a bunch of whining and crying. Sure, his ideas aren't quite normal, but perhaps the Akademiya needs to reconsider their standards! Maybe that's why nothing good ever comes out of the school besides scholars with a whole lot of ego with nothing to show for it! Your blatant defense of him has both your fellow classmates and Zandik shocked and quiet. Although Zandik was oddly touched by your attention to his work, he wasn't quite sure if you could be trusted or not, after all, he was used to people shitting on him all the time, but this declaration to the whole of the Akademiya just solidifies the beginning of his obsession with you.

Suddenly he has copies of every single academic paper you've ever written, thoroughly studying them and learning about your research and interests too. He realizes not only are you so incredibly intelligent, but you're open-minded to many things. The best possible combination. It's only this one time he slightly curses himself for not paying more attention to the Akademiya's affairs, because how did he miss how much even the sages like you and how people are begging you to reread their essays or tutor them? And then... it starts to go past that. He wants to know everything about you. Zandik wants to know what makes you smile, tick, what you do in your free time... do you have more things in common than he thought? No, no of course he's not trying to be your friend! He's merely interested. Curious.

Zandik's so strangely into you. Instead of locking himself up in his room all day, he finds himself coming out to find you, which he does rather quickly with how much people are crowding you with questions. But as soon as you spot him, you brighten up and break away from them, making him stiffen from all the eyes on him now. Though you merely drag him away from there and he lets you!! And you take him out to... lunch? With desert too? For such a genius, you are so... weird sometimes. You're the one chatting away and gossiping and dumping about so many things that aren't important at all while he's just nodding... but he likes it.

DUDE Zandik feels on top of the world whenever you ignore others for him 😭😭❤️🥺 Like he just gets this shit-eating grin on his face as he sneers at the other person. Hah, did they really think they were worthy of your attention? Your brilliance? These idiots don't deserve your brain much less your kindness. He still thinks you entertain them too much, your intelligence should be spent on far more important things. AND UGHH YESS <33 Being his #1 defender <33 He genuinely loves you so much for that, going out of your way to defend someone like him that everyone hates so much. He knows that no matter what you say people won't change but... it's nice.

You two going on expeditions alone... yes the work gets done obviously, you two are smart enough to get it done easily... but it drags on far longer than initially planned because you keep kissing Zandik when he starts talking all smartly, and when he gets a super cute concentrated look on his face... and then he yells at you for wasting time... and you kiss him again because he's cute when he's mad... yea the expeditions are totally productive! 🤭 I just think Zandik deserves to feel special and flustered. Bby needs some positive attention on him for once.

[ivarlover]

UNDENIABLE PART 3 (Sequel to UNLEASHED)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but the story has come alive for me, and the need to write more can't be ignored. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 🔥 This is the last chapter of Undeniable. However, there will be another sequel called Unexpected that I will hopefully be posting soon. After Unexpected is finished (& I have no idea how many chapters it will be), that will be the end of this roller coaster ride. This chapter has thoroughly kicked my ass! Hope it's worth it! 😘

Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into what looked like a confusing situation in the light of day. What did it all mean to them now? What would happen with their friendship? Can they move forward as friends or has all been lost? Is friends to lovers even a possibility at this point?

Inspired by a naughty conversation with a friend of mine. 😍 (You know who you are).

Warnings: This chapter: A little bit of heartache but also all the feels. Smut, Ivar being Ivar.

The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, heartbreak, and a bad case of the feels, and smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut 🤣

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

*LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ON OR OFF OF THE TAG LIST*

Words: I don't know; there are many, many words 🤣

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------

It was finally here. The after-party was scheduled to begin in almost an hour, and there were already people arriving. You didn't know who the newlyweds were, but you were certain they had more money than you were accustomed to. They'd rented out the entire bar for only their guests, so it was closed to the public.

You watched as the bouncers continued to turn people away and how sad they looked learning they couldn't enter for a second night in a row. You couldn't help but to feel proud knowing your friends had accomplished this, of course, with your help. "I can't thank you enough for your help tonight, Y/N. Looks like we're going to need as much as we can get. Did you see how many people are already here?" Alex buzzed passed you, headed for more champagne.

"Alex, you're very welcome, but remember, you're the boss. Let us help and you, I don't know, you just stand here and look pretty. I got this. Which table gets the champagne?" He smiled his flirty smile at you and told you which table. "Yes, sir," you smiled back and headed toward the table.

"Y/N?"

"Yes?" you replied.

"I like it when you call me sir."

"Oh my God!" you blushed and punched him playfully in the chest.

"Nah, seriously, Y/N, thank you," he grinned proudly, "For everything."

You shrugged and went to work. It was almost weird for you, thinking about that hot weekend you'd had with him and Ivar. It was great but so much had changed so fast and now, all you really wanted was for him to be happy with Ivar like you knew he could be, like you knew he wanted. You made a mental note to have a heart to heart discussion with Ivar as soon as you found the chance. Alex and you had become really close friends really fast and you were determined to sort out this mess the two of them had made.

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------

"So much for me standing and looking pretty, huh?" Alex said as the two of you ended up at the bar at the same time for the first time all night. He was washing glasses beside you. "Damn, I think we needed more help."

"No. It's ok. Don't freak out now. Look at the time. We're almost at the end. Everyone is happy and having a good time," you reassured him.

"This has been one hell of a night! It's a good thing we closed the place to the public. There's no way we would have had enough space for more people," Alex laughed.

"Oh fuck!" Your heart completely stopped.

"What? Oh God, what is it?" Alex panicked.

You just pointed to the door. Ivar and Hvitserk were standing just inside it and you could see Hvitserk standing in front of him, clearly trying to hold him back. Ivar flung his arms around and shoved Hvitserk out of his way. He headed toward the bar and he made eye contact with you. He had a murderous look across his face that appeared to be directed at you and Alex.

"What the fuck is wrong with him? Doesn't he know how big this event is?" Alex was frozen in his spot.

"I got this. You go get Hvitserk and keep him with you. He doesn't even need to be in here!" You walked into the crowd and stopped in front of Ivar. "Ivar, this is not the time or the place."

"What's it fucking to you?" He slurred his words a little and as you got closer to him, you could smell alcohol on his breath. Just great. You had no idea what he was like when he's drunk or what he was capable of.

You began, a little sweeter than before. "Ivar, look around you. This place is full of people. People who paid you guys good money to be here. Don't ruin their wedding night. You know Alex will talk to you. Just wait until we close up later tonight and you sober up some."

He looked at you straight in the eyes and said one word, "No!" He managed to walk around you, or stumble was more like it, and went straight to where Alex stood at the bar, headed to Hvitserk.

You gave Alex an apologetic smile and went to Hvitserk yourself, praying the whole way that at least he was sober.

"So, that's it? We're done? It's all over before it even begins?" Ivar's voice was so harsh and cold.

Alex looked at him, sadly, "Ivar, are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not fucking drunk! I'm pissed! Answer my damn question, Alex!" As he got louder, people around them began to stare. "It's seriously all over before it even begins?"

Alex tried to calm him. He wasn't sure how to answer him in this state. "Ivar, let's go talk in the back and I..."

"Fuck no! Answer me here!"

Alex had seen him like this before, just never had it directed at him. He spoke quietly. "Ivar, we don't know what the future holds, but you have to recognize the timing is not in our favor right now."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Alex dropped his head. After the last couple of weeks he'd had, he couldn't believe he was shutting this down. "Ivar, please. Can we talk later? When everyone has left from here?"

Even in his drunken stuper, Ivar recognized the pain in Alex's face and he suddenly felt bad. Just as he was going to apologize, you and Hvitserk walked up.

"Hey, Ivar," you said, "Want to go with me to the office?" He looked at you with a funny smile. "Oh my God! No! Jesus! I meant for you to get some rest until everyone is gone."

He laughed and looked at Alex, who still seemed taken back by this entire situation. "Umm, yeah sure. I guess so," he answered, thinking only of Alex now.

As you walked him toward the office, you playfully smacked him in the shoulder and said, "You're such a pervert."

"Hey, I wasn't sure what you were offering," he replied and you punched him this time.

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------‐------------------

"What the hell was that all about?" Hvitserk asked Alex as you and Ivar walked away.

Alex smiled. "Umm, long story. For another time."

"Right. Something tells me I don't even want to know."

"Yeah, probably not," Alex answered, laughing. Then he saw the serious look across Hvitserk's face. "What is it?"

"I'm just trying to figure things out here. How did you manage to make my baby brother so angry with you and yet so into you all at the same time?"

"Wait. What?" Alex was floored. He stumbled over his words, "I, I, umm, did no such a thing! Why would you even say that? You know we've been best friends for years, Hvitserk."

"Yes, I do, but this, this is more than just best friends. I've never seen him like that over any woman and Alex, you know he's been in love with one before." You both grimaced at the memory of her. "This is way deeper than friendship."

Alex tried to keep his composure. "You've never seen him act like what? I really don't know what you're talking about. He's not into me. He's just drunk."

Hvitserk was persistent, "Alex, you can knock off that innocent act with me. I know something happened with you guys, and don't worry. It doesn't bother me. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. And he is convinced he'll be happy with you."

Alex stood there in shock for a minute, trying to decide how best to answer. "Wow! I wasn't expecting that. Look, I'm not going to violate his trust like that. All I will say is our friendship took a turn that neither of us were expecting at all and now, we're just trying to navigate through the changes. It's difficult, Hvitserk."

"It's not, actually, Alex. When you feel that strongly about someone, that's major. You don't just let them slip away from you so easily. Especially if your feelings are as deep as his seem to be. All he talked about to me all afternoon was you and how he may have fucked up the first real, true thing he's ever found. I don't need details, man. I just need you to fix this. There's no reason the two of you should be suffering like this when you both clearly want the same thing. And if it's mom, don't worry about her. He can handle her. I promise you that."

"I, umm, I really don't know what to say." Hvitserk was one of the last people that Alex had ever expected to be so insightful or accepting of everything.

"You don't need to say anything, man. Not to me, at least. Just promise me you'll talk to him before you leave tonight."

Just as Alex started to answer, you walked up. "He pretty much passed out as soon as his head hit the sofa," you laughed, looking at the two of them. "Alex, you have to talk to him. Tonight."

"Ok, ok already. The two of you don't need to gang up on me! I plan on talking to him. I want to even," Alex smiled at their genuine concern.

You turned to Hvitserk, "Now, I can give you a ride home." Then you turned to Alex, "It's ok, right? I'll be right back. And don't worry, Hvitserk, Alex will be sure Ivar gets back home." You smiled.

Hvitserk put his hand up, "No, I'm fine. I don't want to leave. I'd really like to stay here with you guys. I can even help out with whatever you need." You and Alex both gave him a confused look. "Seriously, guys, it's not the alcohol that I have a problem with. It's umm, it's drugs. When I'm high is the only time I ever want to drink. You can ask Ivar. He understands this now. He drank most of the evening in front of me and it didn't bother me. It's my mom who didn't want to leave yet. She wanted to be sure I am seriously ok. Although, Y/N, I wouldn't mind you giving me 'that ride' a little later." He gave you that same shit eating grin of Ivar's.

"Oh my God! You're horrible!" You playfully smacked him on his arm.

"Yeah, but something tells me you like it," he continued to smile as you began to blush. Of course, he was right. There was definitely something about these Lothbrok boys that you couldn't get enough of.

"Ok, ok. Sorry to break up the relentless flirting, but we still have work to do," Alex interrupted them. "Hvitserk, if you're sure Ivar won't disown me for letting you stay, we definitely could use the extra help."

"I'm sure. Where do you want me, boss?" Alex rolled his eyes and put him and you to work but not before giving you very specific instructions to watch out for him, while he went to the back for more bottles of alcohol.

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------

The night was finally winding down. It had been almost two hours since Ivar had came in demanding answers from Alex and the place was thinning out. You had checked in on Ivar a few times and he'd just smiled and waved you off. Alex had sent you and Hvitserk to close off a section of the bar and begin having people move to the other side of the bar.

Alex was behind the bar, throwing out empty bottles. He was smiling at the success the evening had been. He'd just had the DJ do a last call and was happy that they'd be closing soon. He was more tired than he'd expected to be.

One of the bartenders alerted Alex that the office door was open so Alex told her, "I bet someone thought it was a bathroom. I'll be right back." He needed to go check that everything was ok with Ivar and to close the door back.

To his surprise, just as he got to the end of the bar, he ran straight into Ivar. It was like colliding with a brick wall. He'd forgotten just what a muscular body Ivar had. He wasn't sure how in the hell he'd forgotten but this was a nice, shocking reminder. "Oh, um, hey. I, uh, I was just headed to check on you."

"What for?" Ivar's voice was cold, but he was definitely sober now. Staring, his eyes piercing through Alex's, he asked, "If everything is over before it even began, then why bother?"

Alex felt sweat beads on his forehead. He looked up at Ivar and blushed when he saw just how sexy Ivar looked, even with his anger directed at him. "Ivar, umm, it..."

Ivar interrupted him before he could finish, "It wasn't over at all, was it?" He walked closer to Alex, pushing Alex backwards against the wall. He placed his left hand on the wall beside Alex's head. Alex panicked, not having a clue what was coming next. "And it still isn't over." He placed his right hand on Alex's cheek. Before Alex could say a word, he leaned in, pressing his body against Alex's, breathing heavily into Alex's stunned face and grazed his lips against Alex's, just lightly kissing him. He slowly pulled away and looked at Alex for reassurance. Alex's face was shocked but his lips were still puckered up and slightly parted, clearly waiting for more, as he leaned toward Ivar, chasing the kiss.

Alex was in a complete daze. Ivar leaned in again and tenderly kissed Alex on his lips once more, his heart racing, his chest heaving, his feelings undeniable. He kissed Alex as if it were the first time and the last time. As their lips pressed together heatedly, he couldn't get enough of this feeling that surged through his veins, this feeling of contentment, of overjoy. He held Alex's face between his hands as they became completely lost in eachother. They were the only ones in the room, hell, in the world. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, just the two of them and this loving, sensual kiss shared between them.

That is, until the clapping they heard from behind them. Ivar slowly pulled away from Alex and looked around, stunned. Several staff members and even a few guests were clapping and whistling and making cat calls. Alex immediately blushed, feeling the heat rushing to his face.

A little embarrassed, Ivar dropped his head. He looked back at Alex and then decided to make the best of it. He turned back to everyone and bowed before them and said, "'Thank you. Thank you, guys. Now, the show's over." He leaned back, laughing and a few people clapped again before going on about their business.

He grabbed Alex's hands and turned to look him straight in the eyes. Ivar then said to him, "Umm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so umm, well, forward here in front of everyone but I couldn't help myself. I'm scared as hell to want you, so, so scared, but here I am, wanting you more and more every day. And umm, I'm, umm, I'm even more scared to lose you. How I feel is undeniable, Alex, and I can't do this to myself anymore." His eyes began to water and he dropped his head. His palms were sweaty. The anticipation of what Alex's response would be was almost too much to bear.

Squeezing Ivar's hands, Alex stared at Ivar in complete disbelief. He hadn't expected any of this. He'd really thought that giving Ivar space had really been what he wanted and needed. He put two fingers under Ivar's chin and pulled his head up to face him. "Hey, my feelings are actually undeniable, too, Ivar."

Alex felt a sense of relief run all through his body. He leaned to Ivar and closing the small gap between them, kissed him back quickly and then pulled away from him almost just as quickly as it had began. "Will you come back to my place when we're finished here so we can really talk? Just the two of us? And no interruptions. We have an audience here and I'd really rather talk when it's just the two of us." He then looked over Ivar's shoulders. "That is if Y/N can keep an eye on Hvitserk for you. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Look," and he pointed across the bar, behind Ivar.

When Ivar turned around, he saw you and Hvitserk on the other side of the bar, making out. He laughed and turned back to Alex, "He's always in competition with me." Alex laughed. "Yes, Alex, I'd really like to talk with you more when we're finished here. We have lots to discuss, I guess, huh?"

"Great! Guess I should get to work then," Alex finally exhaled. He hadn't realized that he'd pretty much been holding his breath, maybe for the last two weeks even. He didn't know what would happen, but he felt better than he'd felt since that weekend at your place.

"Ok, where do you need me?" Ivar asked and Alex put him to work out on the floor as he went back to working behind the bar.

The bartender who he'd spoken to earlier smiled at him. "What?" Alex asked her.

"Umm, nothing."

"That's not nothing. What are you all smiles about?"

"Umm, well, it's about time," she answered.

"That?" Alex really had no idea what she meant.

"Well, we've all been watching you two for some time now. We knew it was just a matter of time before the two of you got together. And I, personally, am glad."

Completely shocked, Alex asked her, "What? Are you serious? Is that what the clapping was all about?"

"Yes!"

"How did you all even know?" He was extremely surprised.

"Can I speak freely?"

"Of course," he answered her, placing the glasses back in their spot.

"Well, I think, literally, everyone knew except for the two of you, of course. Just the way you guys treat each other and speak to each other. True relationship goals, ya know? It's rather sweet. And since I know you both so well, it makes me very happy. The two of you deserve it," she patted him on the back. "So, do whatever you need to make it work. Something tells me you won't regret it, Alex."

Alex let that soak in as he finished up behind the bar. Had they been that obvious? Seemed like nearly everyone around them had noticed except for themselves. Apparently, neither of them were particularly good at hiding their emotions. He smiled to himself as he thought of it all and continued cleaning.

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

---------‐‐--------------------

They were finally in the car ride back to Alex's place. You had all too eagerly agreed to see to it that Hvitserk got home safely and all but jumped on Alex and Ivar for suggesting it.

The event had went well. The couple had thanked Alex and Ivar and said they were putting in a word for them with some of their well known associates. Only good things could come from this evening and it certainly called for a celebration.

Although, the Uber ride to Alex's was kind of quiet. Alex looked over and watched Ivar looking out the window and wondered what he was thinking. He tried not to be a paranoid idiot but he couldn't help it. What if he was having second thoughts about everything? What if the staff in the bar had embarrassed him and he realized this was something he couldn't do? Alex knew Y/N had been right about the need for them to defend anything that may happen between them. Maybe it would be too much for Ivar. He wanted to ask him about it but he didn't want to begin a conversation like that in the Uber.

As if instinctively knowing what was going through Alex's mind, or maybe just from feeling him stare, Ivar looked over to Alex. He saw the concerned look on Alex's face and just placed his hand on top of Alex's, that was sitting in the seat between them, and gave it a gentle squeeze. He sweetly smiled at Alex and said, "We've come a long way umm, since that first night, umm, that we opened the bar, Alex. I'm so happy where we've ended up so far and umm, extremely excited to see what happens from here." He winked at Alex and Alex couldn't help but smile with relief.

Well, that was obviously nothing to do with the bar and everything to do with their current situation. Alex took a mental note to try to stop expecting the worst. He knew it would be a challenge but he also knew he just needed to let go of his fears.

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------

Once they were inside Alex's place, he kicked his shoes off at the door and headed to the kitchen. "Hey, would you like beer, wine, or liquor? I think we've earned ourselves a celebration, don't you?"

Ivar loved that he still felt so welcomed as he took his jacket off and hung it up by the door. "I'll take a beer," he answered, following behind Alex. "And did my pig of a brother eat all of that pizza last night or do you still have some? I'm actually a little hungry."

"There's definitely still pizza. I'm not sure why Y/N ordered so much for just two of us but I guess it's a good thing she did because I'm kind of hungry, too," Alex answered, pulling the pizza and two beers from the refrigerator. "Help yourself. You know where the plates and everything are. I have got to go take a shower before I can feel comfortable enough to eat or even talk at this point."

Ivar looked at him, smiling. "What?" Alex asked him.

"Nothing. Umm, I'm just glad it's still the same with us," Ivar blushed a little.

"I'd have it no other way, Ivar. And umm, if you want a shower when I'm done, you're more than welcomed."

"Aww, you mean I have to wait for you to finish first?" Ivar flirted. Alex gave him a serious look that said now wasn't the time to be naughty. Ivar coughed and straightened up, "I'm umm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, man."

"It's ok. I'm not uncomfortable. I umm, I just feel like we really need to have that talk. I'll be back. Please, make yourself at home."

As Ivar set about warming his pizza, he thought about the conversation they desperately needed to have. His palms were sweaty and his heart was racing. For a moment, he felt more nervous about this than he had about being intimate with Alex and he knew that definitely said a lot. However, he knew he could do it. He had to get everything out in the open and off of his chest.

Ivar went ahead and warmed up Alex's food, too, and set their plates on the table. He got himself another beer and went to put some music on in the living room. The silence was deafening to him right now.

Just as he was finishing his second beer, Alex came through in sweats and a white t-shirt. As Ivar looked over to him, he realized just how much he liked this look on Alex. "Hey, I've already got your plate here at the table with mine. Come eat."

Alex looked at Ivar's still very full plate. He asked, as he sat down with him, "Why haven't you eaten your food yet?"

"Well, I knew you wouldn't be too long so I just figured I'd wait for you." Ivar warmly smiled.

They ate and talked about the after party and all the highlights of the evening. They discussed Y/N and Hvitserk and laughed at how into you he seemed to be. They laughed and drank and talked a little about almost everything. Everything except for the one thing they needed to. It seemed the elephant in the room couldn't get any bigger.

Alex stood up to take the plates to the sink and Ivar stopped him. "I've got this. You've already worked too hard tonight."Alex gave him a curious look. "Don't look at me like that. Go. Go get comfortable on the sofa and rest your feet. I said I've got this."

Holding his hands up in mocked defeat, Alex played, "Ok, ok. You've got it. I understand. And Ivar, thank you."

Alex went to the sofa as instructed and waited for Ivar to join him, mind wandering out of control.

Moments later, Ivar sat down beside Alex with two more beers. Handing one to Alex, he smiled softly. They sat there in silence for a few minutes with nothing but soft music playing in the background.

Alex felt nervous and glanced over at Ivar only to find him nervously glancing back at him. At the same time, they both began to speak.

"Alex,"

"Ivar,"

Simultaneously saying each other's name, they laughed. "Do you mind if I go first, Alex? I really need to say what's eating away at me. Umm, before I lose my nerve."

Alex gestured to Ivar, "The floor's all yours."

Alex shifting in his seat, Ivar's voice small, Ivar began, as he looked straight into Alex's eyes. "Alex, I know I already said this, but I am truly sorry for hurting you. It really wasn't my intentions. That night," he dropped his head and swallowed thickly. Clearing his throat and looking back at Alex, he continued, "That night at Y/N's everything took me by surprise. You've always meant the world to me so I never thought anything about it. And when you first touched me," Ivar coughed, "I felt a surge of emotions. And umm, I decided to listen to Y/N. She was right. As soon as I got out of my head, she was right. But Alex, I certainly wasn't expecting everything else." He stopped, trying to gather his thoughts to be sure he expressed himself the way he wanted to.

Alex felt uncertain of where this was going but he sat back and waited, giving Ivar the time he needed. It was worth it. Ivar was worth it.

Ivar sighed and began again. "Forgive me, Alex. I just don't want to fuck this up. I, umm, I was so confused. I've been with other people before. You know this. Even with women who meant a lot to me. But you and I, we connected on a level that I've never experienced before in my life. Sure, the sex was amazing," he blushed, and sweat beads began to form on his forehead, "But I never expected the emotions that came along with it. It confused me. It scared me. It..." he was cut off.

Alex interrupted him, "It's ok, Ivar. You don't have to..."

Ivar reached up and gently placed his finger over Alex's mouth. "Shhh," he smiled. He scooted closer to Alex and grabbed both of his hands and held them in his lap, rubbing his thumbs over the back of them. Alex's heart rate sped up so quickly, he was sure Ivar could feel it in his hands. "It terrified me, Alex, and I'm still terrified but, umm, now I know why. I-I'm terrified to actually love someone this much, much more than I've ever loved anyone else before, and there be the possibility that the feelings are not mutual."

He placed his hand on Alex's cheek as a single tear ran down it that he caught and wiped away. "I'm terrified of what it means to give myself to you wholeheartedly, heart, mind, body, and soul, and maybe be rejected in return. I'm terrified to love you, Alex, and the possibility of losing you over it, but, umm, Alex," he slid closer to Alex on the sofa and leaned in closer to his face and held it between both of his hands, staring deeply into his eyes, "I'm even more terrified of walking out that door without ever trying to give us a shot, without ever telling you how I feel. Because that's just it. I love you, Alex. I'm in love with you. I know that now. My feelings for you are undeniable. I love you, and I've always loved you. I want to shout it from the rooftops! I can't hide it any longer. I have never felt like this about anyone else in my life before, Love. When I'm with you I feel like I'm whole, like that empty, black hole in my heart is finally full. I've never known love this pure before, Alex. I want to share my everything with you!"

Ivar was trembling all over. He couldn't remember another time when he'd been this completely scared to his core or this vulnerable to another. He was a ball of emotions as a tear began to roll down his cheeks.

Alex sat in silence for a moment, trying to take it all in. He was in a daze and completely stunned at Ivar's admission. This was intense and probably even more intimate than he and Ivar had been yet. He knew just how big this was for him, for them. He worried his heart would burst from his chest before he could could even say anything. He tried to gather his thoughts and make some coherent response. He stared blankly at Ivar, missing the panic as it stretched across Ivar's face.

Ivar took his silence as rejection and began to pull away from Alex immediately, his heart beginning to crumble. "Oh. Umm," he dropped his hands from Alex's face and his body stiffened, "Alex, I'm umm, fuck, I-I'm sorry. I'll umm, I'll go..."

Just then, it registered with Alex what Ivar thought was happening. As Ivar's eyes began to water up even more, Alex placed his hands on either side of his face and pulled him to him. His soft lips reaching Ivar's, his kiss cut Ivar off in mid sentence. He tenderly kissed Ivar, it taking a moment for Ivar to catch up to what was happening and kiss him back. Alex's hands quickly wrapped around Ivar's shoulders, and he held him tightly as he pulled away from their kiss and buried his face in Ivar's neck.

He stayed there for a moment, breathing Ivar in, before pulling away and facing him. He saw Ivar's worried look and said, "Ivar, you don't know how relieved I am." He moved a strand of Ivar's hair away from his face. "Ivar, umm, I-I am in love with you, too. I love you more than anything in this world," he smiled warmly. "And umm," Alex dropped his head as he felt the blush color his face, "I've known it for quite some time."

Ivar was just as stunned as Alex had been. His heart swelled in his chest and bubbled over into tears that steady streamed down his face. He tried to catch his breath as he spoke, "Alex, oh my God. Alex, I never knew. Are we really this fucking lucky?" He cupped Alex's cheek in complete disbelief and smiled through his tears, finally taking a deep breath. "I can't remember the last time I was this fucking happy. I have been so fucking scared I was going to lose you over this."

He pulled Alex in for a tight hug and they could feel the hard thumping of their combined heartbeat. They sat, reveling in eachother's arms for several minutes before Alex finally spoke.

Alex laughed and said, "We've really tortured eachother these last two weeks, huh?"

Ivar broke their embrace and looked Alex in the eyes and said, "Alex, promise me that whatever happens from here on out, wherever we end up, we will always be honest to eachother about everything. We're going to have big enough issues defending our love fron the very beginning so as long as we have open communication, that's one less thing to worry about." Alex smiled at him with pride.

"Oh wait. Fuck! I'm sorry, Alex. I just automatically assumed that we'd be together after all of this. I realize I should ask you how you feel about any of that. So," Ivar combed through his hair nervously with his hand, "Where does this leave us? What's next for us?" Ivar was still so nervous. This seriously was all so new.

Alex smiled at him. "Ivar, I am all yours. I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you. Officially. That is, if you'll have me." Alex couldn't help the singe of fear that coursed through his veins. He knew what Ivar had just told him but it almost seemed too good to be true. He was still insanely scared.

Ivar's smile stretched widely across his face, "Of course I want to be with you, too! 'If I'll have you,' " he mocked Alex, "Are you serious? I'll happily "have" you," he gave his devilish grin, "In every way possible, Alex."

Alex blushed but leaned in to kiss Ivar again. Just as he deepened the kiss, Ivar pulled away from him. "Umm, Alex? This is going to sound kind of twisted coming from me, I know, but.."

Alex interrupted him, "I like you twisted, preferably twisted naked between my sheets," he gave a mischievous smile.

Ivar couldn't help but smile back at that. "I'm serious, Alex. I-I umm, I feel like maybe we should take things a little slow."

Alex gave Ivar a gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling away to rest his forehead on Ivar's. "What worries you, Ivar? We've already went all the way. We know we connect in the bedroom as well. Am I missing something?" He tried not to panic before hearing Ivar's reasoning but it was definitely easier said than done.

"Well," Ivar began, "It's not necessarily that I'm worried. I can't even believe I'm going to say this, but umm, I just want to be sure that everything isn't based solely on sex. We have so many new aspects of our relationship to explore and develop and I want to build our emotional connection as well as the physical one. You see the best in me and I want to give you my very best."

Ivar gently placed his hand on Alex's cheek and Alex could feel his warm hand trembling. "I need you to know that I have never had that kind of sexual experience before. And I don't just mean by being with a man, Alex," he grinned. "I've never felt so connected on such a deep level, especially not during sex. It was quite intense and some of the best sex I've ever had." He felt himself blushing but continued, "And Alex, I want that to be the same in other aspects of our relationship, too. I want to spend my days doing nothing but making you happy and showing you how much I truly, deeply love you."

Ivar looked at Alex for understanding and followed up, "I just wanted to be sure you know this has nothing to do with our sex not being fulfilling because it is, more than words can properly explain. I just want to also express my love for you in other ways as well and think we should just take our time."

This was a first for Ivar. He shocked himself at just how true this feeling was and even more that he was so openly and honestly telling Alex, but this was the very reason he wanted to be with Alex. He knew he wouldn't be judged for being so honest. For one of the very few times in his life, sex wasn't the priority and this was why he knew that this immense feeling was real.

Alex grabbed Ivar's hand, still pressed against his cheek, and pulled it to his mouth. He gently kissed the back of it before looking back at Ivar. "And this, my dearest Ivar, is exactly why I love you so. You always look out for me, for us. You just want what's best for us and I appreciate that. Of course, I'm ok taking things slow," he felt his heart was going to explode out of his chest. "However, it may be a little difficult sometimes," he said as his eyes quickly scanned over Ivar's hard body, "Because, damn! Look at you," he gave his best flirty smile. He hadn't been ready for Ivar to say all of this and he'd be lieing if he said he wasn't blown away by it. He leaned over, hugged Ivar, and kissed him on his cheek.

Ivar felt better having said everything he needed to. He was still in disbelief that this was real. He looked at Alex, who was still smiling from ear to ear even though he still had a look of worry on his face. "So? What's that concered look on your face, still?"

As Alex pulled away, he answered him, "Ivar, I do have a question. What about your mom? And what about everything with Hvitserk? That's why I stopped everything last night. Your mom was clearly way too perceptive and was not happy about what she suspected. I know you have a lot of responsibility right now with your family, and I understand that. I just don't want to make things even harder on you, Ivar. I'd hate for you to resent me."

Giving a gentle, sweet smile, Ivar began, "Alex, that's so sweet of you but please, don't worry about my mom. When she sees how happy I am with you, she'll be fine with it. It may take her a minute to adjust but she honestly just wants her boys to be happy. And for whatever reason, if she can't accept you as my choice, then she'll quickly realize how serious I am about you because I definitely won't lose you over her prejudices. This is my life and she'll have to accept that. Don't worry."

Alex's eyes widened at Ivar's words. He was a bit surprised but he'd be lying if he didn't admit that he was really relieved. "What about Hvitserk, Ivar? I know he needs you right now."

"Hvitserk is the reason I got my nerve to come to the club tonight. He understands and just wants me to be happy. His problem is controllable and he will probably stay with me for a while even once mom returns home. He needs to make new friends and stay away from those losers back home. He will be ok, Alex. It's just, being with mom makes him a little crazy. I'm sure you can see why," Ivar laughed. "Being here will be good for him. Don't worry about him. I promise I could never resent you." Ivar smiled sincerely. He could hear Alex's sigh of relief. "So? What next?"

Alex grabbed the TV control from the table, "I was tired, but now I'm wide awake. If you're not sleepy yet, how about a little Netflix and chill? Do you need another beer?"

Ivar smiled with pride, happy to see their relationship was otherwise the same as always, "No, I'm good with this one still."

-------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------

Alex settled on the sofa, and they found a good movie to watch. Ivar looked over to him and decided to move closer. He rested his head on Alex's shoulder and looked up at him, "Is this ok?" he asked.

"Of course it is," Alex responded, kissing Ivar on top of his head and his arm coming to rest around Ivar's shoulders. Holding him snug, they cuddled together in front of the TV.

They began watching the movie, and it all just felt so natural for them to be together this way.

As he felt Ivar's breath against his his chest and Ivar's muscles beneath his shirt as he gently rubbed his back, Alex was a little too distracted to really pay much attention to the movie, but he didn't say anything. The feeling was nice.

After a few minutes, Ivar looked up to Alex, smiled sweetly, and just stared.

"What? Do I have food on my face or something?" Alex laughed.

"No," Ivar laughed, "It's nothing. I-I'm just happy," he smiled a smile that melted Alex's heart.

Alex couldn't resist that smile and placed his left hand under Ivar's chin and pulled his face up some toward him and leaned down, and kissed him. It was a gentle, quick kiss, and he pulled away from Ivar.

Ivar felt a little dizzy as if he'd been spinning in circles. He sat up beside Alex and looked over to him, his heartbeat quickening. Alex looked back at him, "Seriously, what is it? What?"

Ivar leaned over Alex's body and, with his right hand, pulled Alex's face closer to him and kissed him back passionately. It was slow at first but rapidly changed to a more heated kiss, his hands roaming down Alex's chest.

Reluctantly, Alex pulled away from him. "Hey, as much as I love this, I think we need to stop. I want to respect your wishes, Ivar, and I'm not so sure I can if you continue kissing me like that."

Feeling heat surge through his body, Alex straightened up and sat back on the sofa a little futher away from Ivar so he could catch his breath, desperately trying to ignore how he was feeling. "Umm, what is this movie even about again?" he nervously laughed.

Ivar sat there in his thoughts for a moment. He looked over at Alex, who was fumbling with the remote control. The more he watched him, the more he was sure of his next actions.

He slid over on the sofa closer to Alex yet again. Alex looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, trying not to be affected by his proximity.

"Oh, fuck this!" Ivar practically cried out. He leaned over to Alex and grabbed him with both hands, pulling him so close that he could feel the heat radiating from Alex's skin. Ivar's heart raced with anticipation as he quickly picked Alex up before Alex even knew what was happening, and swiftly sat him in his own lap so that Alex was straddling him and facing him

Alex's eyes widened as he was completely caught off guard by Ivar's strength. "What the..." and before he could finish his sentence, Ivar's lips crashed into his, his hand going to the back if Alex's neck and holding him firmly. They embraced as the kiss intensified, Ivar's arm wrapping tightly around Alex's waist.

Alex broke the kiss and leaned away from Ivar. Confused, he brought his hand to Ivar's cheek and began, "Ivar, I thought you said you wanted to take things slowly. I can't be with you this way and not want more. You.. umm, you're just too much for me to resist." Feeling defeated, he looked down.

Ivar looked up at him, catching his eye again, and flashed his devilish grin. "Good!" he laughed. "I can't resist you, either, love. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking saying we should take things slowly. Fuck that! I want you. Now." His eyes had an almost pleading look in them as he waited for Alex's response.

Excitedly, Alex grinned, "Then, take me. I'm all yours."

Ivar didn't hesitate for another moment. He grabbed Alex on his hips and squeezed. His hands then slowly traveled up Alex's sides and back to his waist, giving him goosebumps. He slipped his hands just under Alex's shirt and marveled for a moment at Alex's hard, muscular chest as his hands explored it. "Damn, Alex. You have so many muscles. I want to count them."

Alex looked down at him quizzically. Ivar smiled and answered his questioning look, "With my tongue."

Alex dropped his head backward, laughing but quickly stopped and looked back to Ivar as he felt Ivar lift his shirt up. Leaning forward, Ivar placed his hot, wet lips on Alex's stomach, just beside his navel, and began to softly kiss him. Alex felt buttflies doing somersaults with each kiss from Ivar's moist lips.

Looking up at Alex, into his eyes, Ivar pushed his shirt up higher and trailed his tongue slowly up Alex's chest behind his shirt, all the while, never losing their eye contact. "Damn, I lost count of your muscles. I'm not very good at math. Guess I'll have to try again."

"Oh fuck!" Alex placed both of his hands on Ivar's head and intertwined his fingers in his hair. He gave a little tug and Ivar bit him on his nipple. Alex moaned out in erotic pleasure.

In his most sultry voice, Ivar said, "That's it, love. Let me know you like it."

"You've ruined me. I was a good boy," Alex panted, "That is before we started all this."

Ivar pulled his mouth slightly away from Alex's skin. "Oh? I can stop then," he teased.

"No the fuck you can't!"

Ivar nodded, "That's what I thought." He yanked Alex's t-shirt up and completely off of him and dropped it in the floor as Alex shivered. "Now, where were we?"

Once again, Ivar began tracing Alex's muscles with his tongue. He looked up at Alex who was struggling to sit still in his lap. He grabbed him by his waist and held him tightly as Alex moaned. Ivar pulled Alex until he was leaning over him, his chest heaving, and he began kissing Alex's collarbone up to his neck. As he gave a gentle nibble, he felt Alex's entire body jolt in his hands. "Fuck! Take me, Ivar!" Alex panted. "You're driving me crazy. I.. fuck, I want you so badly. Now!"

Alex began to untie his sweats and Ivar removed his mouth from his neck and placed his hand over Alex's, stopping him. "No, not here, love." Alex looked at him, confused. "Hold onto me," Ivar began to slide forward to the edge of the sofa and Alex wrapped his arms tightly around him, not sure what Ivar was doing. Ivar placed his hands under Alex and before Alex knew what was even happening, Ivar stood up.

"Oh hell!" Alex exclaimed, his heart beating harder from the excitement and his legs interlocking around Ivar's hips. Ivar smiled and began to take a step. "You sure I'm not too heavy? You, you don't need me to walk?"

Ivar flashed his devious smile, "Where's the fun in that?" Alex gulped and before he knew it, Ivar slammed him against the living room wall that was behind them.

"Holy shit!" Alex gasped.

Still holding onto Alex tightly, Ivar pressed his body against Alex's and his lips ghosted over Alex's mouth, breathing him in. Ivar signed in enjoyment. Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his back arched. Ivar began kissing up his neck again, sending chills all over Alex's body. Alex pulled Ivar's shirt up and gently caressed his hard body, reveling in the feel of it.

Ivar slowly made his way to Alex's mouth and sucked Alex's tongue into his own mouth as Alex whimpered. The kiss took his breath away. Somehow, everything felt different than the last time, more passionate, more intimate and Alex was taken back at this realization. He wasn't quite sure what it was or why, but he was enjoying every second of it.

------------------------------------------

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

-------------------------------------------

With his hands still tightly on Alex's ass, Ivar broke their kiss, nearly out of breath. "As much as I'm enjoying my hands full of ass here, I need to touch you. Are you holding onto me tightly enough?"

Alex studdered, "I..Ivar, this really isn't necessary. I, umm, I can walk."

"Shut up and hold on!" IvaYr demanded. With Alex still in his arms, Ivar swiftly pulled Alex off of the wall and began to walk with ease again, headed toward Alex's room. Alex eyes widened. He was blown away by Ivar's strength. He always knew he was strong, but this was insane.

As Ivar approached Alex's bed, he leaned over it and laid Alex down with a thud. Alex looked up at him in dismay and Ivar grinned down at him. "Sorry," he nearly whispered. He hovered over Alex for a few moments, looking him deeply in his eyes but saying nothing. Alex began to squirm with anticipation and swallowed loudly. Ivar leaned back and told him, "I.. umm, I'm sorry, Alex. I need to use your restroom. Don't move. I'll be right back."

This was perfect for Alex. You had given him some of your muscle relaxing, dilating tablets that they'd used at your place, saying how he'd need them more than you and now he was certainly glad for it. He quickly crawled up his bed to his night stand and grabbed them from the drawer and the bottle of water he had sitting there from the night before and took some. He was a little surprised at how nervous he felt but his excitement was much stronger. He then laid back against pillows propped on his headboard and impatiently waited for Ivar to return.

-------------------------------------------

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

-------------------------------------------

With both hands on each side of the bathroom sink, Ivar leaned forward and looked at himself in the mirror. What the fuck was wrong? He couldn't figure out what was going on or why his nerves were suddenly so shot. Turning the faucet on, he splashed cold water in his face and rubbed his hands over it. "Get a fucking grip, dumbass!" he said to himself, "It's just Alex."

Ivar walked back into Alex's bedroom where he saw Alex waiting on the bed, shirtless, still, and quite beautiful. He gulped as Alex looked up at him with his bedroom eyes and patted the bed beside him. "You planning on joining me or are you just going to stand there? You like what you see?" Alex flirted and smiled widely.

Ivar swallowed, "Obviously." He crawled up the bed to Ivar's side and laid beside him. His voice shaking, "I.. umm, I love you." His heart was pounding.

Alex turned to his left, facing Ivar. He moved his right arm across Ivar's body and cupped his cheek. "And I," he smiled, "Love you." He straddled Ivar and Ivar's eyes widened. Alex leaned down to kiss him while his hands found their way to the bottom of Ivar's shirt. As Alex leaned away from him, he pulled Ivar's shirt up and over his head. "We won't be needing this." He threw it somewhere behind him.

Ivar nervously smiled and placed his hands on Alex's hips. Alex looked him directly in the eyes, "It's ok. Calm down. It's just me." Ivar felt his face blush, surprised Alex had sensed his nervousness but almost relieved.

Alex leaned down and began kissing Ivar's neck. He trailed wet kisses down his neck and to his collarbone as his hands ran over his firm chest muscles.

Ivar's breathing picked up and Alex smiled as he continued with his gentle pecks. As he began kissing his chest, Ivar's hands started rubbing Alex's back.

Alex started to undo Ivar's pants as he looked up at Ivar. He saw the stressed look across his face and sat up, moving his hands away. "Hey, did you change your mind? We don't have to do this, ya know. I wont be upset."

Ivar grabbed his hands and held them. "No, that's not it. I.. I want this. I wa..want you."

"Then what is it, Ivar? Talk to me. I don't want to do anything you have seconds thoughts about." Alex's concern outweighed his desire.

"Fuck! I don't know. I just, umm, I'm nervous."

Alex smiled, "With me? Why? We know this is good." He motioned between them, "Really good, remember?" he sheepishly smiled again.

"It's just, do you know how long it's been since I've been with someone that I was in love with, Alex?"

Alex couldn't help but smile at how sweet he found Ivar's concern. Always wanting to please. He remembered how very different it was seeing this vulnerable side of Ivar and his smile softened and widened even more. Then he saw the seriousness in Ivar's eyes and tried to comfort him. Rubbing his hands, that Ivar still had in Alex's, he answered,"Yes, Ivar. It's been two weeks," and he winked.

Ivar actually smiled at this. He hadn't thought of it like that. It's just that he felt so intimidated. "I-I'm just worried that I, I'm gonna fuck it all up." He ran his hand over his face as he sighed.

Alex placed his hand over Ivar's heart. "Look. This is all that matters. The only way you can fuck this up is if you fuck me and leave me," Alex grimaced. "And you're stuck with me now. I'm not letting you leave me again. You are what matters. Not the sex. If you want to wait, we can. If you want to continue, we can. But Ivar, if we continue, you have to get out of your head. Stop worrying. My feelings for you will never change based on the quality or volume of sex we have. Or don't," Alex smiled sweetly at him, hoping he'd eased some of his worry.

"I'm sorry, love. I, umm, I guess I just needed reassurance. This is just too fucking good to be true." Alex couldn't believe how nervous Ivar was. He squeezed his hands and brought them to his mouth, kissing his knuckles.

As Ivar looked up into Alex's beautiful face, he felt his heart skip a beat. This beautiful creature sitting in his lap was actually in love with him. What had he done to deserve such an amazing person? As his eyes followed the shape of Alex's body, the definition of his chest and arm muscles, the warm smile on his face, the love he held in his eyes, his hesitation slowly began to disappear and his nervousness somewhat subsided. He knew it would still be there in the back of his mind but he was determined to ignore the small voice in his head telling him he wasn't good enough. He loved this man. He wanted this man. And he was going to show him just how much.

Just as Alex began to say something, Ivar sat straight up so he could reach Alex's lips. He put his arms underneath Alex's armpits, pulling him closer, and grabbed Alex's head from behind. Pushing his face closer, he planted a hungry kiss on Alex's mouth, sucking his lips and entering his tongue to, again, play chase with Alex's. As the moment grew more intense, Ivar couldn't believe he'd even been so worried. This is right where he was meant to be.

His courage growing, Ivar quickly turned, still holding Alex tightly against himself, and rolled Alex over onto his back, falling roughly halfway beside Alex and halfway on top of him.

-------------------------------------------

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

-------------------------------------------

Words escaped Alex's lips as Ivar leaned over him and gently kissed him but he quickly pulled away as panic spread across his face. "Alex!" his voice cracked, "We can't do this! It's way too soon to do this without any of those tablets of Y/N's! Oh fuck! It will not be pleasant for you at all, love."

Alex laughed, pulling Ivar back to his mouth and kissed him as Ivar pulled away again. "Alex, seriously. We can't make..."

Alex placed his finger over Ivar's mouth. "Calm down, you fucking protective sweetheart!" Alex grinned, his heart bubbling over with joy at Ivar's thoughtfulness. "It's ok. Y/N gave them to me the other night! I already took them when you went to the bathroom earlier. I also have plenty of lube." He felt Ivar instantly relax.

"Aww, thank fuck," Ivar looked relieved. "You should have started with that. Next time start with that. Fuck!" He wiped the sweat from his brow, "So when will you be, umm, ready?" he shyly asked, blushing again.

Alex smiled, "I already am!"

With a smile on his face, Ivar leaned down and began softly kissing Alex on his neck. It was as if Ivar's soft lips were massaging his skin that literally felt like it was on fire, and his tongue was savoring the taste of him with every painfully slow lick.

As Ivar's wet, erotic kisses slowly traveled down to Alex's chest, he looked up to Alex and their eyes locked in a steamy hot gaze of desire. Alex felt his heart began to race as Ivar's kisses trailed lower and lower over his torso, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Ivar placed his right hand gently on Alex's chest as just his fingertips ghosted over his hot skin. His touch was electric. Never breaking their gaze, he slowly, barely, rubbed Alex's abdomen up and down while holding his weight on his left arm and continuing with his kisses.

Alex's hands combed through Ivar's hair as one grabbed a handful and gently tugged, and the other found Ivar's shoulders and squeezed. Ivar smiled into Alex's chest as he continued lower.

As Ivar reached Alex's waist, he grabbed the drawstring to Alex's sweats with his teeth and held it in his mouth. Alex loudly gulped. Ivar began to pull the drawstring until he untied the sweats. Smiling from ear to ear, he looked up at Alex. Winking, he asked, "Do you still want me, love?"

Alex's heart began to pound and between his heavy panting, he answered, "Fuck! That was so fucking hot! I have never wanted anything or anyone more."

Ivar quickly raised himself to his knees. With Alex lifting his body from the bed, Ivar slid Alex's sweats completely off of him and instantly dropped them to the floor, licking his lips.

Alex blushed as Ivar scanned his body with his eyes. His hands automatically went to cover himself, but Ivar caught them and laid them to either side of him on the bed. "That won't be necessary, love. Trust me when I say, I like what I see," Ivar smirked.

Intertwining his fingers with Alex's, he bent Alex's arms back so that his hands were beside his head. He slowly crawled over Alex's body, their eyes locked in a gaze of pure desire, as Alex's breathing began to speed up, and his hands in Ivar's grip squeezed tightly.

As Ivar hovered over Alex, his hand slowly trailed over Alex's chest, lightly and softly grazing him with his fingertips, igniting flames of passion all over every inch of Alex's body. As he reached Alex's stomach, he broke their enchanted kiss and whispered in his ear, "You're sure you still want to do this, right?" and he nibbled Alex's ear, sending chills down his spine.

He held Alex's hands there as he leaned down to kiss Alex. Alex felt as if he would melt into the bed as their lips met with a fiery passion. The way their tongues danced together, the sensation of their lips touching and caressing eachother, the warmth of their breath on one another, and the closeness of their bodies, skin on skin, made them become as one as they were lost in the moment, consumed by their heated passion. It was as if they were the only two people in the world, and absolutely nothing else mattered at this moment.

Alex moaned, "Of course! Absolutely!"

"You know the drill. You tell me if that changes."

Alex only nodded his head, unable to speak any longer. Every touch from Ivar's warm hands to Alex's hot body felt electric to Alex.

Ivar moved his hand further down until he finally reached Alex's already hard, throbing dick. Staring directly into Alex's eyes, he wrapped his warm hand around it and gently squeezed. He began pumping his fist up and down around it while watching Alex's eyes roll into the back of his head.

Alex whimpered when Ivar leaned back down and began kissing up his neck. Breathing heavily into Alex's ear, he asked, "Where's the lube, love?"

Alex pointed to the nightstand beside his bed. Ivar removed his hand and mouth from Alex and leaned over him to the nightstand. As he did, Alex rubbed his hands down Ivar's chest, admiring the feel, to his waist. He began to undo Ivar's pants while he leaned up and licked his collar bone. Ivar jolted, and Alex smiled. He nibbled on Ivar's shoulder and his plump lips, then kissed over the marks he left. Ivar hummed in delight.

Alex began sliding Ivar's pants down and as he reveled Ivar's ass, he grabbed his cheeks and squeezed before giving his ass a slap, sending chills over Ivar's body.

Ivar helped take his pants the rest of the way off, and suddenly, he felt nervous again. "I, umm, I want to make this perfect, Alex." He felt himself beginning to panic.

Alex placed his hands on each side of Ivar's face and looking him deeply in the eyes, said, "It already is, Ivar." He softly kissed Ivar and smiled as he pulled away from him, "Shhhh, stop worrying."

-------------------------------------------

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

-------------------------------------------

Ivar gave Alex a pillow and nervously told him, "Facing me again, ok?"

Alex placed the pillow underneath himself and laid back again. "Definitely. I have to see you."

Grinning, Ivar sat back on his knees again, in front of Alex's widespread legs, and squeezed the lube into his hands. He coated himself with the lube, spreading it, very generously, all over his very hard cock. Looking at Alex, he gave himself very slow, tantalizing strokes as Alex whimpered.

Alex bit his bottom lip as he watched. He leaned up again and softly said to Ivar, "I want a taste." Not giving Ivar an opportunity to respond, he forcefully pushed him backwards and yanked his feet out from under him.

Ivar started to protest but as he opened his mouth to speak, Alex shoved two of his fingers into Ivar's mouth. Ivar's eyes widened but he began to suck them.

Alex flinched and leaned forward to face Ivar's cock. Wasting no time, he sucked the tip of Ivar's dick into his mouth. Ivar squeezed his eyes shut and his breathing began to pick up.

Alex twirled his tongue around Ivar as Ivar began to squirm. Then Alex took as much of him as he could into his mouth and began bobbing his head up and down as his hand found the base of Ivar and started to pump up and down in sync with his mouth.

Ivar was completely consumed by the moment. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he lost track of where he even was, conscious only of Alex. He moaned in pleasure, only urging Alex on.

Alex glanced up at Ivar and was pleased to see what his work was doing to him. Gripping Ivar tighter with his hand, he let his tongue concentrate on the tip of him while his other hand began to lightly rub his side up and down.

The sensation of Alex's tongue and lips working their magic combined with his hands on Ivar's body was too much. Ivar jolted up and pushed Alex off of him. Startled, Alex's eyes widened and his hands grasped at Ivar but Ivar quickly pushed them beside them on the bed and held himself slightly above Alex. "Love, you still want me inside you? I can't fucking take anymore of that. It's too fucking hot," Ivar practically growled.

Alex bit his lip and shook his head yes. Ivar grabbed the lube and slowly squeezed it out and let it run down Alex's butt cheeks. He smiled widely as Alex jerked from the feeling. "You like that, humm?"

Ivar placed his hand on Alex and rubbed the lube all over his entrance as Alex squirmed. Even though he was still wet from Alex's mouth, he still put more lube in his hand and lathered himself up. Looking down at Alex's red face, he asked, "Are you ready, love?"

"Fuck, yes!"

Ivar positioned himself at Alex's tight opening as he leaned over his body. He could feel the heat radiating from Alex's skin and he smiled. He slowly pushed the tip of himself into Alex and waited a moment as Alex gulped and tried to adjust. "You ok?" Ivar, ever caring, asked.

"Yes," Alex answered, placing his hands up around Ivar's neck, as he stared deeply into his eyes, fluttering around Ivar's thickness.

Ivar slowly pushed himself deeper into Alex until he finally bottomed out. He remained still for a moment, gazing into Alex's loving eyes, still not believing this was real. He wanted it to be perfect for Alex so badly and wanted Alex to know, for sure, how he felt. Pushing his nerves aside as best he could, and trying to ignore what a wreck he was, he leaned down to quickly kiss Alex and then told him, "I will seriously never get tired of this."

Alex cupped his cheek and raised up a little, and kissed him back. "Neither will I," Alex panted.

Slowly, Ivar began to rock his hips, moving back and forth inside of Alex. He held himself up on his elbows, on each side of Alex, so not to crush him and looking down at him, asked, "Is this good with you, love?"

Alex's breathing sped up as he answered, "Oh my God! Yes!"

Ivar, remembering Alex's preference from the last time they were together, pulled back to almost exit Alex altogether and then began to slam back into him, but as he made eye contact again with Alex, he felt the need to take his time and savor the moment. He moved himself back into Alex slowly, passionately, their breathing increasing, their hearts pounding, and their desire for eachother growing even more. As Ivar reached as far as he could, with the flick of his hips, he thrusted into Alex one hard time. Alex moaned out, "Damn! Do that again!" and Ivar did, never losing eye contact, making everything even more sensual.

Lost completely in eachother, they began moving together in perfect harmony, their breathing almost in sync. They locked eyecontact and interlocked their fingers in eachother's hands, squeezing tightly. The closeness and rush of emotions they each felt as they explored eachother's body with eagerness was so intense, it was almost overwhelming. With their moans of pleasure echoing in the stillness of the night, flames of passion ignited every inch of their bodies like a wildfire burning hotter and hotter, their bodies fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces.

Ivar's long, slow thrusts into Alex were intoxicating and Alex could barely catch his breath. Alex broke their eye contact and pulled Ivar down to him and feverishly began kissing him as his hands got lost in Ivar's hair. The kiss was a long and languorous kiss that caused Ivar to jolt forward into Alex with another hard thrust. Alex whimpered into Ivar's mouth as they hungrily continued their kiss.

Skin on skin, becoming connected as one, the intensity of their passionate kiss increased. Sweat glistened over Ivar's body as his slow stroking up into Alex began to grow a bit faster and harder. Ivar's touch was electrifying on Alex's skin as he lightly trailed his fingers down Alex's side leaving goosebumps along the way.

Alex was trembling when Ivar's hand finally reached between them and found his hard, pulsating cock. Alex's heavy breathing led way to a muffled groan with the heat from Ivar's hand slowly stroking him in rhythm with his pelvis. Ivar kissed from Alex's lips to his jaw and slowly up his jawline to his ear. His voice small, "I love you," he whispered into Alex's ear and Alex thickly swallowed. Alex then wrapped his arms tightly under Ivar's arms, hands holding onto his shoulders. Using his hands on Ivar's shoulders for leverage, he thrusted into Ivar causing Ivar to moan in surprise, "Fuck!"

Alex did it a second time and Ivar dropped his head, nearly collapsing. Alex turned his head to Ivar's ear, "I love you, too."

Ivar was taken back. He couldn't remember ever exchanging those three words before during sex. As much as he'd thought he'd been in love before, now he thought maybe he hadn't been. He, at least, knew it had been absolutely nothing like this. He'd barely said it to his ex at all but definitely never like this. This was another first for him and he struggled to hold back the tears. He felt more vulnerable now than ever.

His movements slowed almost to a complete stop as he buried his face into Alex's neck. Alex, sensing the change, turned to Ivar. "Hey, hey. What's wrong, Ivar? What happened?" He rubbed his hair away from his face and kissed his cheek. "Hey, talk to me."

Still moving painfully slowly, Ivar raised his head up. Tear filled eyes stared back at Alex. "Oh, fuck! What is it? Are you ok? Look, we can stop," Alex panicked, trying to sit up and stop Ivar's movements.

"Shh, it's ok," he said softly, placing a finger over Alex's lips. "I'm just, umm, I'm happy, love. That's all. I promise. And that's as new to me as everything else." Alex looked deeply into Ivar's eyes for confirmation that he was being honest, but he could already tell he was. "Happiness, like this, is sincerely a new, new thing for me. I won't lie. I'm a wreck, Alex, but I'd really like to finish this if you still want to."

Alex was stunned. How could he tell this beautiful creature who was looking down at him so lovenly no? And so he didn't. "Of course, Ivar. I want to finish this with you. We can talk later." He pulled Ivar to him and kissed him again, barely stopping for air. He then pulled away from him and began to blush. "Umm, is there... uh, do you think..?" he stumbled over his words.

"What is it, love? What do you want?" Ivar asked, his voice dripping with concern.

"Ummm, well, do you think it's possible for me to umm, be... FUCK, on top?" Alex quickly covered his face with his hands, trying to hide his embarrassment.

The thought aroused Ivar even more and, removing Alex's hands from his face so he could see into his eyes, he shot him his devilish smile. "Oh, fuck yeah!" he gulped. "But it may be a little too painful for you."

"Umm, can we try?" Alex asked, all too eager.

"Of course." Ivar was so excited, he'd already forgotten about how tight his chest felt, all lost in his emotions. He decided to focus on the physical aspect of it all, knowing he could pick apart every one of his feelings later. He hadn't expected this emotional roller coaster but the excitement he felt now took over. He slowly pulled himself completely out of Alex as his heart rate increased rapidly and Alex moaned. He rolled over onto his back beside Alex. "I'm all yours, love." He flased his flirty smile once more.

Alex asked him to sit up and lay back against the headboard of the bed. Ivar did as requested. Alex grabbed the bottle of lube and and put more into his hand. As he gripped Ivar's hard dick and began to spread it all on him again, Ivar's head fell backwards, moans of pleasure exiting his mouth. Alex crawled into Ivar's lap and hovered his body over him. Looking at Ivar, he asked, "Are you ready for this?"

"Fuck yes, love! Just don't hurt yourself. I'll be ok if we have to stop."

Smiling, Alex answered, "Always putting me first. Thank you, babe." He leaned down and quickly kissed Ivar and then sat back up, lining himself up with Ivar as Ivar held himself in place.

Alex slowly began to sink down onto Ivar's now throbing cock. As the tip entered him, Ivar removed his hand and grabbed Alex by the hips, trying to help steady him. Alex moaned out, "Oh, fuck!"

"Take it easy, love," Ivar said, focusing only on Alex's reactions.

Alex slowly lowered himself more and more onto Ivar as Ivar patiently waited for Alex to be ready for movement. The tightness Ivar felt was almost too much for him and he wasn't sure how long he'd last this way but all he could think about was not hurting Alex.

The two were so hyper aware of the other's body and reactions that it was almost distracting. Alex asked, "Are you ok, Ivar? Do you need me to stop?"

"Oh, hell no! I'm good, love. Take your time," he smiled.

Alex finally sank all the way down onto Ivar, swallowing up Ivar's twitching cock. He wrapped his legs tightly around Ivar's hips, interlocking them behind him, bringing the two of them even closer. The intimacy Ivar felt was overpowering as he looked up and into Alex's eyes. He placed his hand on Alex's cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. His heart was pounding harder than it had all night as the kiss grew more heated. He wrapped his other arm around Alex and held him tightly as he panted into Alex's mouth.

Alex pulled slightly away, Ivar's lips chasing his. "Please stop me if I hurt you." Ivar only knodded.

Keeping his eyes locked in their gaze of passion, Alex slowly began to rock his body. He groaned unrecognizable words. Wrapping his arms around Ivar, they both now sat in a tight embrace as Alex's movements began to speed up a little.

Alex gulped and moaned with every movement. "Are you ok?" Ivar asked, willing to stop if needed.

"Yes. It's a good pain, remember?"

Ivar removed his right arm from their embrace, still holding Alex tightly with his left, and slowly trailed his hand up Alex's back and down his chest, sending chills all over Alex. Still looking him straight in the eyes, his hand found Alex's ever ready, hard cock and quickly wrapped tightly around him. He began to stroke him up and down as he leaned forward a little and kissed Alex's collarbone. Ivar's hand motions made the pain Alex felt subside into pleasure.

Alex felt heat spread throughout his body as he continued to move painfully slowly up and down on Ivar. The closeness and intimacy he felt looking into Ivar's eyes staring back at him in complete wonder was breathtaking. He knew he would never get enough of this intensity.

Ivar's heavy breathing sped up with each small movement of Alex's hips. Staring into Alex's eyes, still, he thrusted his hips forward, jolting upward and into Alex. Alex whimpered and Ivar did it again. Within seconds, the two found their rhythm and Ivar began fucking up into Alex as Alex rotated his hips seductively.

With every thrust from Ivar, sounds escaped Alex's mouth, echoing into the room. As Alex moved his hips in sync with Ivar's, their passion grew even more. Ivar's grip around Alex's waist and back held him tightly to him as his hand pounded up and down on him even harder. Their stare intensified, an unspoken agreement not to look away from eachother, and Alex, again, softly said, between pants, "I love you."

A tear rolled down Ivar's cheek and Alex caught it with his finger. He brought his finger to his lips and slowly licked the tear from his finger. Ivar gasped, his heart beating even faster than before, and he knew he couldn't handle this anymore.

Before Alex even knew what was happening, Ivar moved forward, held onto Alex even tighter, and quickly turned to his side, landing Alex on his back with himself hovering over him, still inside him. Alex's eyes widened as he gulped. "Did I hurt you? Are you ok?" Ivar asked him, concerned.

"I'm fine. You, you just shocked me. Damn, that was fucking hot," Alex whimpered as he responded.

Ivar leaned down and hungrily kissed Alex as he slowly began to move inside of Alex again. Trembling, he looked back into Alex's eyes again. As he slowly moved his hips, he brought his hand to his mouth and spit into it. Alex gasped at the sight as he shivered in anticipation.

Ivar's hand found Alex's hard dick again and wrapped tightly around him. The sensation of Ivar's wet palm sent chills down Alex's spine as Ivar began pumping him up and down again along with his stroking in and out of him.

Something about it, now, was slower, calmer, and way more intense than anything between them had been as of yet. Alex's heart rate sped up and beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.

As Ivar held Alex's gaze, every movement was more sensual than the one before. Alex's hands tangled in Ivar's hair and he pulled him closer. Ivar dropped his head to the nape of Alex's neck and he feathered kisses up it as Alex whimpered. When he reached Alex's ear, he softly bit it before raising his head back above Alex and once again, staring into his eyes

With every roll of his hips, pounding deeper into Alex, Alex's heart fluttered and his tight grip around Ivar vibrated causing Ivar to arch his back with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Cum for me, love! I want to hear you yelling my name as you cum for me," Ivar's raspy voice commanded.

Clutching Ivar's shoulders, Alex began thrusting up into Ivar in sync with Ivar's movements, causing Ivar to groan out Alex's name in pure extasy. The two of them melted into eachother and as they moved together, lovenly, passionately. Ivar whispered, "I'm close, love. I need you to finish first."

Alex was already close to his release and as Ivar leaned down and licked Alex's lips, it was enough for Alex as it sent electric shocks throughout his veins. His entire body tensed up as white, silk streams of his cum shot out between them as he called out, "Oh my God, Ivar!"

Alex clinched his ass cheeks around Ivar and held him even more tightly as Ivar's pace picked up and fell out of any kind of rhythm. He grinded into Alex sloppily and his movements quickly stammered as his entire body stiffened and twitched. He shot his load as he tried to tell Alex, "Alex! I'm, I'm..."

"Yes, babe! Now you cum for me!" Alex said, breathing heavily.

Ivar slowly stopped his movements and collapsed on top of Alex with a thud. Alex grunted and Ivar grinned, "That was absolutely fantastic, love. I've...umm, I've never experienced anything like that. Not even the last time we were together. Fuck!" He swallowed thickly and slowly pulled out of Alex and rolled to his side, his arms still wrapped around Alex.

Hot and sweaty, and very messy, they still laid there entangled in eachother, taking in everything and coming back down together. As their breathing slowed and heartrates returned to normal, their grip on eachother never loosened. They laid like that, intertwined in eachother, in complete silence, comfortably enjoying breathing eachother in.

Not really wanting to break the peaceful, comfortable silence, Alex hesitated, "That really was fantastic, Ivar. I, umm, I don't think... umm..."

"What is it, love? You know you can tell me anything," Ivar tried not to panic, rubbing his hand over Alex's cheek and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"I-I don't think I've ever made love to anyone before, Ivar. And that, umm, that's what that was, right? It was so different and so amazing. I've never experienced anything like that before either," Alex blushed and looked away from Ivar's piercing eyes.

It hit Ivar like a ton of bricks. No wonder he had been such a wreck. It was more than just having sex with the one he loved. It was making love with him, which had such deeper meaning than he'd ever imagined. The connection they shared was unreal and seriously like no other. He couldn't put words to it. Alex looked back at Ivar and saw the understanding and realization in his face. "I, uh.. I..ummm," he tried.

Alex cupped his cheek and replied, "I know. Oh my God, I know. It's ok. You don't have to say it. Believe me, I understand completely." He smiled and kissed Ivar deeply.

Ivar pulled away, "Now, you know the rule, love. You can't do that, or I'll have to have my way with you again."

He gave Alex his shit ass eating grin again, and Alex laughed, "You're terrible."

"Yes, and you love it. Let's go get washed up," he continued to grin. "Oh, and Alex?" he said as he sat up in the bed and looked back at Alex.

"Yes?"

"When we come back to bed, I want to be entangled with you the rest of the night just like we were right now, ok, love? I'm seriously not letting you go this time."

Alex smiled as he felt warmth spread all throughout his body, "Absolutely, Ivar. I wouldn't have it any other way."

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

@istorkyou @vero-maris-zamo @chapada010101010 @ivarhoegh @lostasalice-thisway @lonewolf471 @lemonsarepink @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate

[crymeariveronceagain]

Okay, so, I missed the prompt for yesterday but I still want to do it. Sooo. Here we goo.

What Kotlc means to me

There's something kind of special about how I got here, in a really strange way. There's something special about it. Being 15 and trying to read every single book in the library. Picking up a book because I need somewhere else to go, someone else's life to live. Reading the entire series through Nightfall in 3 days.

I never looked back, to be honest? I had huge opinions and my cousin had read the books and another friend of mine has also read the books so I talked about it with them, and the Flashback came out and I read it and got so annoyed with Fitz and Alden. Like, literally. Part of my love and attachment to this series was born from my distinct hatred of specific characters.

And I'd never been one to write fanfic. My mom had thoroughly pounded it into my head that fanfic wasn't real writing, and that I should be doing more real things with my work. I guess, with kotlc? I decided that didn't matter?

Who cares if it's not real writing, I enjoy it deeply and I loved sharing it with other people? It brought so much joy to me when I was able to capture the voices of Keefe and Sophie in Walk Through Hell. I remember sitting there and thinking "This sounds like something Shannon would write".

And I remember recommending the books to everyone. My then-boyfriend took me up on reading it, and fell in love with it, too, and I think that was the only time he ever liked my writing, when I sent him the Google doc for Walk Through Hell.

I was a Pinterest fan for a long while, and Tumblr posts in the making lurk in the comments sections of the kotlc pins. I went on mini rants about how Keefe and Sophie and even Fitz, even though I changed my tune about him after a while of character analysis. But nobody really interacts on Pinterest. Comments get likes or maybe a comment back, but it's not a social media. It's just media. No social. Like YouTube.

So like, in a really dark part of my life, I started posting stuff to AO3. And it just opened up this world where I could write and discuss my thoughts through my writing? If I had something to say I could say it, even if it was writing a fanfic about it and posting it, qnd people would see it! People would comment, or leave kudos!! It was insane.

And, eventually, I joined Tumblr.

You would not believe how freaked out I was the first time @hunkyhair-my-beloved interacted with one of my posts. Like. Holy crap. You guys don't understand how much of my Pinterest collection of kotlc stuff was their incorrect quotes. Like, not even kidding. I literally felt like I was interacting with a celebrity.

So, I guess.

Kotlc is writing stories. Kotlc is getting mad at characters and writing a 6k dissertation on why they're awful, or a 10k thesis about why they're misunderstood. Kotlc is reading the tags of the people who reblog stuff from me. Kotlc is rolling my eyes at @fintan-pyren. Kotlc is giggling at incorrect quotes and crying when I think about songs that fit Keefe's character. Kotlc is sharing my stupid media analysis with people who actually love hearing it, and enjoy my nonsense enough to stick around and come back for more.

Like, I look back on it now and I'm like, ah, yes. I coped with my spiraling life by writing about Linh Song in a similar situation to me. I wrote about Sophie to understand myself. I wrote about Keefe to get inside my own head and understand the pieces of my own broken heart. Yada yada yada.

At the time, I wasn't thinking about any of that. I was just doing something fun.

Kotlc for me is being up at 1 in the morning writing so that I finish the next chapter. It's grinning at AO3 comments and laughing with you crazies. Kotlc is just.... Fun. Kotlc is so much fun.

As much as I can get worked up over the ways I think canon is lacking, stars.

Kotlc means a whole lot to me.

[captainsspnanon]

C2E67 - Beyond the Eyes of Angels - rewatch

Fair warning, this one is loooong and rambly.

Well, while I still greatly enjoy CR, it’s clear that my hyperfixation stage of it has passed. It lasted a good two years before it calmed down, so that’s good! But it means that these rewatches end up going a lot slower, because I’m not binging 2 to 2.5 episodes a day. It also means that I jump between lots of media now, which is fun. :) I’ll be starting my re-read of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings soon. I last read the Hobbit probably around 25 years ago? And LoTR was 21 years ago. I loved the Hobbit, my mom read it to me as a child. LoTR was a big struggle for me at first, I kept trying and giving up within the first book of the first book. I only ended up finally reading it all once the Two Towers movie was released, and binged them very quickly. Turns out it’s ONLY the first book of the first book that was a struggle for me, the rest was easy. So I’m really looking forwards to seeing how my interpretations of the story will change after two decades. (not going to be posting it, don’t worry! That’s just for me)

Oh wow. So this is the ad bit where Sam says he’s too depressed to do a bit, so they have a pre-recorded generic version – which is him acting like he’s dead and it’s his will. And after, I don’t know if I noticed this before!, Liam actually got hit pretty hard emotionally! I actually went back a few seconds to check, and it doesn’t look like he’s playing it up? I wonder if he had other stuff going on behind the scenes, or if this is just Sam’s particular ability to always seem to grab Liam by the emotions. (If I remember, he gets choked up both during the five year song, and the pandemic welcome back.)

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Codependent!Caleb. Even though Nott ended up still being invisible so the scene doesn’t work, I do like Liam having Caleb looking panicked and stressed flicking between Nott and the team, Nott and the team, until he goes after Nott. As much as I joke, I do wonder why Caleb is so stressed about Nott being separate at the moment. We know that he has faith in her, and she’s gone on ahead before a number of times. Is it because of the atmosphere of the tomb? Is it because Nott is sober, so he thinks she’s more likely to make bad decisions? I wouldn’t call it a regression in behavior, but it is a bit jarring compared to how he’s been interacting with the entire team for a number of in game months. ...Well, maybe not. The last time, I THINK, was in episode 54, when they split up the rooms and Caleb didn’t realize that he was going to be separated from Nott. Looking at critrolestats, I think that’s only a difference of 20 in game days.

OH GOD THIS IS THE SPIDER ROOM ISN’T IT I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAA (i’ll find out in a few minutes if I’m right, but Matt describing things stuck around the wall, and one of the words he used was ‘sacks’, so I’m pretty sure I’m right) Interestingly, I WAS actually just the other day thinking about rogues in dnd – I’d seen some post talking about how rogues actually were bad at dealing damage unless the sneak attack critted, and I remembered Nott’s exciting sneak attack crit that basically took out the entire baddie. Of course, I couldn’t remember what the baddie WAS, but this brought all the memories rushing back.

One BS comment I have seen way too much of online is Laura being ‘entitled’ with her spells, being ‘whiny’ when things don’t go her way with spells, and trying to get as much out of Matt as possible. And here we are – with Laura specifically bringing up to Matt that the Bless that she cast would have faded by now and so not have been present with initiative. Something that had she not brought up, Matt might not have caught. No whining, no complaining, just playing fair. *sigh* I’ve gotten off of those places (aka reddit forums), but still some of the shit I saw just DIGS.

Poor Travis. I am very lucky that while I am thoroughly freaked out from bugs, I’m not bothered by situations like this. The figures don’t bother me, nor do the descriptions. I’m pretty good with seeing them in movies and such as well. It’s only 1) in real life, especially if they’re close to me or move fast, 2) if they are ON ME – my actual literal phobia is them somehow getting inside me (nose, ears, mouth), and 3) some of the really freaky videos you can see online where someone brushes a dark clump and it spreads out into a million spiders.

Beau attacks, misses, Matt barely starts to speak before Marisha rolls again, then she apologies and gives him the go ahead, he gives her the go ahead, and then she tells him he can do his description, which he then does, but keeps it short. A good sign of a good table, a player recognizing when a DM wants to speak and giving them the space to do so, AND a DM recognizing that a player may want to just get the attacks out and is willing to forgo the usual flavor speech. You love to see it! Mutual respect!

(coming back to this at the end of april) wait I’m only half an hour in? I thought I was way further than that!

OH WHAT. We have the red Ashton lopsided 6-sided dice here with Tal!!! I totally thought those were c3 only, I don’t recall seeing them before! Clearly he’s had them though.

ROGUE CRIT!!!!! I love how Sam is so astonished by it too. Are rogue’s the best class to get a crit on? I’d assume paladin would be up there as well with smite…. 20th level rogue can get 60 sneak at max, so 120 per CR rules, then plus weapon damage. Divine smite has a max of 6d8, so max of 96 plus weapon damage on a crit. Wait, does improved divine smite and another d8 on top of that? So 112? but do smite spells add to a smite, or replace? Like, if it was banishing smite, would it add 5d10 on TOP of that? Or INSTEAD of that? I’m thinking way too hard about this, especially considering I prefer spellcasting to melee for my own personal play. EITHER WAY – badass moment!

...I got distracted just watching it. There’s something so comforting about the humor in C2, the feel at the table is different than it was in both C1 and C3, and sometimes I prefer it. Don’t get me wrong, the balls to the walls punchiness at the table in C3 is great and leads to a ton of laughs, but there’s a nice balance in C2 that almost lends itself to the PCs as much as it does to the cast. I’m doing a horrible job of explaining it, but it’s pure comfort food for me.

Anyhow, yay for spell scroll for Caleb, but also I’m glad that it’s not some super amazing spell. It’s something where Liam wouldn’t feel like he was missing out or punished if he never found it, but it’s a nice bonus to have to where he feels rewarded for looking.

Once again my grumbles about the table attitude towards a rogue though. Caduceus wants to move forwards, but Tal/Cad has to tell Sam/Nott to search for traps. Jester wants to open the door, but Laura/Jester has to tell Sam/Nott to search for traps. There are times that I really would like to get into Sam’s head and see what his choices were for this. If he’d known how it would have gone, would he have picked a different class for Nott? Was he deliberately making a rogue who wasn’t particularly good at what she did, not because she couldn’t but because she forgot and didn’t care a lot of the time? It would fit with the housewife picture, but it’s a sense of almost spiting the class for the roleplay. I feel like with C1 and C3, Sam was able to explore his roleplay within the confines of the class, whereas C2 it feels like the roleplay just has the class slapped on top of it. *shrugs* It’s hard to say, because she does do a lot of sneaking around during combat, but it always feels a little forced. It’s much more Liam/Frumpkin doing early exploring than Nott, a lot of the time.

I really love how they discovered the stairs going down (this is the lightning one where Matt uses an hourglass, I think?), and I also love how they were able to so quickly and smoothly give the marching order. In the weirdest way, I do think the Nein ended up being the most smoothly combined group, which is very surprising considering they started out the most fractured. (also in fairness I really don’t have much recollection of this aspect of C1, so I could be totally wrong here)

LOL I love that Laura stands up and hits the mic, then Taliesin stands up and hits the mic, and then Sam stands up and hits the mic. They talk about how it had to be so loud for the audience, but either Chris the sound guy is REALLY good at his job, or no it’s not that loud at all.

(wait is this the episode where they have three encounters/maps and sam gets short [humorously] with the last dwarvenforge sponsor bit?)

(omg I’m only an hour and forty three minutes into this, we’re now in May. I don’t know why I’m watching this so slow, it’s SUCH a good episode!)

In the span of five minutes, Sam hits the mic AGAIN and Marisha, while bending down under the table, cracks the back of her head against in while coming up.

I have no recollection of the mist/wind spirit! I thought this was the electrical pulse! (I still think it is, and that’s what the timer is for, which honestly is a great method of using it. I know Matt used it a few times in C1, and I think this is the only time in C2, but I appreciate that while it’s punishing in an effect, it’s not massively punishing like they LOSE or FAIL if they can’t accomplish what they are doing in time. Especially because them asking Matt for clarifications eats away time, as well as Matt’s own turns. I’ve seen some detractors online wish that Matt pulled out the hourglass more, as a way to get the players to make decisions faster, but all I can think is that pulling out the timer means that it becomes even HARDER to think because now you have the external pressure as well as whatever circumstance you’re in. I can’t fully pooh-pooh the detractors as there have been a few circumstances where I have found that the players really dithered, either consistently during combat, or having ooc conversations during a quick event that took way longer than I thought Matt should have allowed, but I see people claiming this for so many things, including encounters where there may have been minor dithering but then moved smoothly, or one or two players turns took long but everything else was smooth.)

Beau jumping down = so fucking hot. Especially because she’s the first to break from the ‘run down and maybe action’ format which reveals the bottom tier allowing other players to start having more creative movement. (polymorph of eagles coming in five, four, three…) Hm, I trying to think now of how often Marisha is the red-button pusher. We know that Travis and Sam will go for it, Ashley’s pretty decent at button pushing, is Marisha the next one? ...I’m struggling to think of examples in all three campaigns, which could meant that no, she’s not, but it also could mean that I have a very shitty memory (well confirmed at this point).

Matt allowing Beau to both investigate and yank out the power source of the electric crystal is something that I think is a very table-specific decision. On the one hand, I love that he allowed her to do essentially two actions because she is a monk and able to do things very quickly (such as step of the wind, flurry of blows [I typed bleaus without even thinking what the fuck]), but on the other hand that can definitely feel bad at a different table with another player being allowed two actions where you may only be allowed the standard one. I genuinely am unsure of how I’d feel about it at my table, though that’s also because I have a really shitty attention-grabbing player at the table. If they were allowed the double action I’d probably be pretty annoyed, but if the really nice good player at the table were allowed it, I’d feel better about it. Breaking the action economy for a cool moment really only works when you have full trust at a table. Here, it’s a moment done well, with a group of players who fully respect the choice and decision (and are glad not to take additional damage XD), at a table like mine? ….I’d rather have taken the damage, tbh. (side rant, but last game I got to do some exploring as a water skimmer, DM describes to me what I see, players immediately start going off of the description and I’m like….alright, I guess I went back and transformed, lost my wild shape, and told them. Fuck me if I had other things I wanted to do, or even if I’d wanted to roleplay the moment.)

(also off topic, I read a chapter update today of a shadowgast fic that I’m enjoying, but Caleb is SO OOC it’s ridiculous, to the point where I’m like his canon backstory must not have happened in this fic, and coming back and watching canon Caleb is DELICIOUS. We’re not in an rp moment, but even the way Liam portrays using shield, the facial expressions and body language, it’s like YES this is the caleb I crave.)

There’s so many good tactics on display here. Fjord jumping with his held Misty Step, both polymorphs with Jester going back to grab the other party members, Beau investigating the door and finding the slot! There are small bits of metagaming that I just...eh. Would Jester have gone back for Nott and Caduceus if the hourglass had still been going? Maybe not, but that also can be explained by her seeing that the glow has stopped. Caduceus thinking that there’s no monster now? ...Honestly that just feels like Taliesin thinking ‘well we beat the encounter so we’re good now’. Usually I’m not too heavily bothered, even if I notice metagaming, but that bothered me just a little bit. I’m a tiny bit nastily pleased that the creature attacked again shortly after. ….I have a petty side, okay?

OH GOD IT’S THE START OF MAKING MY WAY. (I think someone found that it technically started in a one shot before this, but this is the first in game of a very very long running gag)

Interesting that Caleb flying down triggered an attack of opportunity from the creature, with Fjord, Jester, and Beau not triggering one. I wonder if Matt had specific ideas of where the creature was in the tower and this really was the first, or if he’s just been blanking because he was focusing on the electrical charge and this is the first time he remembered.

…..why does Sam want to know if goblins have tails? I want to know what he’s thinking! I can’t think of any mainstream depiction of goblins with tails, so it’s certainly a bit of an out-there thought.

For what it’s worth, while we all know and love Veth’s Big Naturals, I greatly appreciate and am entertained by Sam’s insistence that Nott also has Big Naturals, despite every piece of official artwork (presumably signed off by Sam) depicting Nott as smaller-busted.

I’m sure this was speculated about by the fandom at the time, but I wonder if Jester being so preoccupied with making sure that everybody gets out of the mist tower before she will leave ties back into her getting left with the young dragon back in the happy fun ball. I know Laura has talked about the impact that moment had on Jester, but unless I’m forgetting stuff (super entirely possible) I feel like this is the first time we’ve really seen Jester make an effort, putting herself at risk, to ensure that everyone else is safe.

Sam just did his usual bit when Matt went to get the map for the zombie room. I wonder what the section I’m thinking of is? To be fair, *I* don’t actually remember it, but I saw a post talk about it. AH – thank you CR Transcripts! It’s episode 79 “It's a fantastic company that makes a fine product and if you don't go to their fucking website, I'll kill you.”. Searching “kill you” under Sam worked. Based on context, rather than it being the ‘holy shit a third encounter’ that I thought it was going to be, instead it was just the pure stress and time crunch with Obann and the tree. Understandable.

I admit, I’m a bit exhausted with initiative. As much as I enjoy this episode (and I really really do!) three back to back combats, regardless of the tactical aspects of them, is just tough to watch. It’s the same thing for me for the really big episode long fights (Lucian, Vecna, etc). Four plus hours of combat is a LOT. I’m usually good if it’s two or less.

When Matt decides to just ‘roll with it’, it works out fantastically at the table. Jester casts Turn/Destroy Undead, which he has just impact the five undead that he had minis out for. After a bit of ooc clarification about the slopes and creatures on them, Laura asks if her destroy undead would have worked there too. In terms of the encounter, I’m pretty sure Matt saying yes or no wouldn’t have impacted the main combat at all, but he acknowledges the legitimacy of her point, rolls some rolls, and has a total of ten more get destroyed. Does it make the encounter any easier? It does trigger Caduceus seeing the glowing heart, but that would have happened fairly soon anyway, I’m sure. What it DOES do is it has the table let out a cheer at Jester being badass and destroying thirteen enemies with a single spell. It’s a feel good moment, rather than a numbers game moment, and even as a viewer it does exactly what it should do, it Feels Good. In comparison to the other GMs I’ve watched (Brennan on ExU and a number of D20 shows, Aabria only on ExU so far), he does roll with things a lot less, as he is a bit more of a stickler for the rules, so I notice the moments more. With Brennan a few times, and with Aabria in ExU a lot more of the time, I’d see Rule of Cool moments where, for my tastes, I would have preferred a harder RAW/RAI ruling. (again, no judgment to Aabria in Misfits and Magic or A Court of Fey and Flowers, I still have not seen those though I want to! Especially because I’ve heard her GMing style is very different in those other systems.)

Coming right off of Jester’s Feel Good, we’ve got Caleb’s Feel Bad. Very smart to do a fireball into the massive pit of undead, but then immediately after it fails to have any true impact at all. While I can understand the choice not to have it impact the number of undead spawning, I could see having that area be considered difficult terrain due to the flaming corpses, or simply just having no undead spawn at that specific area until the next turn – instead have them spawn on the other side. There was no actual benefit to Caleb casting the fireball, which is just a sucky feeling – especially with a third level spell. Especially because Caleb is the only one targeted by two undead, with anyone else only being targeted by one.

Double Feel Bad of Matt not letting Nott at least try to give the door a physical tug after expending her action using Mage Hand. It’s some inconsistent DM decisions this episode, considering Beau being allowed to inspect and grab and pull out the rod from literally just the previous encounter.

Granted, I don’t think any of the players are taking issue with this, or I’m sure they would always speak to Matt about it after game if it bothered them, but it’s things that I’m noticing that just feel just a bit sucky.

Off topic, but I’ve been seeing some complaints about C3 with the group talking over whoever is making the action in combat, and how rude it is and how it’s so bad in C3 and it was never this bad in previous campaigns. Meanwhile I’m watching the gang non-stop chitchat during the combats, I literally think the only difference is that C3 has better mic pickup than C2 or C1. I don’t think the group is being any more or less than they usually are, it’s just now sometimes we can hear them more clearly which covers up the audio of the main player at the moment.

LOL Marisha saying she’s never playing a wizard after seeing Caleb basically being the only one actually hit by the zombies. Double lol at Liam saying he’s only playing bloodhunters from now on.

It’s fun to see Sam clarify that Nott is running low on bolts, only six left! because we really only had one ranged combatant before with Vex who never needed to keep track of arrows – but only because she bought a thousand of them before the stream started. (I’m not counting Percy because he had to make his own ammunition versus being able to buy it in a shop.) I actually don’t think Nott ever runs out though, what with being able to collect them back after combat. Also interesting looking through the transcripts now that Nott/Veth always seemed to buy bolts in amounts ranging from 10 to 40. I’m not sure if Sam’s thought process was that Nott/Veth didn’t have a bag of holding for the bolts, or if it’s just the Mighty Nein vibe of buying what they need, as little as possible, versus the Vox Machina vibe of buying what they need and want in larger quantities than they may use. I love this little dnd-broke group so much. (also with all the transcript searching, bolt/bolts no longer look like actual words.)

...Did we ever figure out what caused the glowing hearts versus grey hearts? Critrolestats doesn’t know. I’m wondering if it was just DM fiat based on an estimated frequency.

One thing that I really love about M9 versus both other campaigns, this group somehow seems to perfectly convey that exhaustion and despondency. VM had a lot of grief, but it was always intense emotions, always a 9/10 or higher on the scale. M9 I feel is perfectly able to capture those days where you are deep in your feelings but it only shows as a 2/10. That’s such a horrible way of explaining it. It’s High Fantasy versus gritty realism, in a way. BH has it’s own frequency of emotions XD

IT’S BEEN SO LONG I literally forgot there’d be a Talks Machina after this!!!!!!! AAAH SO HAPPY.

[tired-biscuit]

okay put dilf!Kiba????? having a??? corruption kink?????????

i think you've unlocked something in me and idk how to feel about it 😭😭

first off, you writing 10k+ words in a few days is literally so impressive, like i don't know if you know how much of a feat that really is. ig it especially seems that way to me cuz i just wrote a abt 2.5k madara thing and it took me like, a month.

but seriously tho. and to have it turn out as immaculate and heavenly as it did?? the writing gods have truly blessed thee. ur literally like the chosen one.

i like all the y/n characters u've created but i especially loved this one. i could literally envision her soooo well. pouty, cute, mischievous, innocent-like-but-not-actually-innocent? wait a minute miss biscuit this is starting to sound a little bit like you 🤨🤔

also Jun seems so precious i literally love her

also when kiba was like "Thirsty huh?" Like YES SIR HOW DID U KNOW 🥵🥵

omggg also also when he was like "Did you swallow it?" I literally had to shut my laptop for a good five minutes and do breathing exercises before opening it again and continuing bc i didn't expect that but also??? THE TENSION HELLO??

i think it's better i don't comment on the actual smut part, for fear that we'll be here all day but i just want to comment on the difference between a man and a boy knowing that too tight wasn't a good sign. like omg only u can get me all soft in the middle of a fuckin' sex scene 🥹🥹

and the freaking aftercare, kiba tryna clean the dress and stuff like a clumsy cutie and also being kinda insecure because he's divorced and his wife left him for another man and just ughh u scored again with kiba's personality. i stand by what i said when i said that u are the official kiba writer and not Kishimoto.

i feel so goddamned happy that i got to know u and ur writings cuz ur one of the few super talented authors that i know of and like,,, out of all the millions of profiles out there i happened to stumble on urs and just seriously

its a gift

ps. pls excuse my use of many question marks i have lost my ability to function and it's entirely ur fault 😤

help, i'm crying 😭 miyu, you're too sweet, my heart is melting into a tiny puddle inside my chest!!

i wrote like 6k words today cos i FINALLY got my day off work and i'm actually really pleased with how this specific one-shot turned out. it might be one of my faves, dilf!kiba is just really sweet and mature, despite that you can't really tell that by the end of the story. idk why i made him soft. it just seemed fitting. :')

i'm sad that he doesn't have a daughter in canon. i tried to give jun a bit of 'persona' to not make her seem so bland, but you might be looking at my first OC, perhaps? 👀 i'd definitely need to work on her characterization more, but so far i actually like how quirky and bold she is. just like her daddy.

as for kiba and me writing for him, thank youuuu. i'm trying to turn this blog into a mostly kiba-oriented one, 'cause i feel he doesn't get enough love out there. not that i won't post about other characters, it's just that i wanna make this a safe space for kiba girlies who usually get hate for liking a character with one jutsu, lmfao :')

and who told you i wasn't innocent? 🤨 i'm literally a saint? have you seen me? hello?

ALSO NOT YOU COMPARING ME TO Y/N, LIKE OKIEEEE, i'd like that. dilf!kiba can throw me around the room all he wants, hehe. 🥰

i really enjoyed writing the tension between them. how he's hesitant and awkward after it's done. how they both know it's complex. it was my first 'controversial' piece and i thoroughly enjoyed making it.

thank you for such a nice message!! sending hugs your way, and can't wait to read your madara story 💛

[marauder-exe]

Sick- Wilbur Soot x Reader

Sick- Wilbur Soot x Reader

Word count: 1k

Request: hey gurlllll!

I was hoping for a Wilbur x reader imagine where reader is behind the camera on one of Wilbur streams bc there Ill so he is keeping an eye on her, but something happens so they pass out and Wilbur panics and end stream nd stuff love your. Work !!!

A/N: this has some sickening fluff

Ah, Anaemia- a great plague to your existence. You'd had anaemia since you were young, you'd always been pale and fatigued, but everyone assumed it was from your lack of sleep, nobody thought something deeper was going on. Until your mum took you to the doctor. It was a manageable condition, of course it was, but if you're as forgetful as you are, it's often hard to keep track of your iron intake. You were prone to fainting- it wasn’t very often, but it was enough for Will to keep a watchful eye on you, especially if you hadn't eaten all day.

You were sat on his bed, soaking up the warmth of the covers. You'd gotten sick recently, nothing too bad but enough to keep you in Wilburs bed indefinitely. He was streaming Geoguessr, and insisted on keeping an eye on you due to your sickness. It was hitting about 1 am, the usual for you two, night owls. You hadn't been able to stomach much all day except some terrible mushroom soup Will made, you appreciated the effort though. You decided you could probably stomach some toast. You'd just heard Will guess correctly in Geoguessr and he yelled in excitement. You rolled your eyes with a smile on your lips before throwing the covers from yourself. Immediately the cold hit, your body not being used to it after spending all day curled up in the blanket. You broke out in goosebumps as you shivered a little bit. You still saw Will's gleeful face as you threw your legs over the side of the bed. That seemed to be the last thing you saw though, because as soon as you stood up, your vision started to go spotty and static, and you could practically feel your legs crumble underneath you. Without being able to get a word out to Will, your body hit the wooden surface of the bedroom with a thud.

Wilburs head shot in your direction as he heard the thud of the floorboards.

“(Y/N)!” He immediately threw his headset off and ran over to you, kneeling down instantly. In classic Wilbur fashion, like he does every time, he completely overreacted to your fainting spell. Within seconds you had regained consciousness and could hear Wilbur freaking out. Your head throbbed, you fell hard. You lay your hand on Wilburs arm to calm him, and at the sight of movement, he immediately ceased talking. He lay a soft hand on your cheek, staring at you like you were a doll. You'd told him multiple times that this happens sometimes and your usually fine, but it always scares him. He just couldn’t bare the thought of losing you. And he knew he wasn’t being rational, because you were fine every time, but he couldn’t help but worry. You gave him a soft smile as you sat up with your arms.

“What were you trying to do? You know you're sick right now and I could've just gotten whatever you just RISKED your life for” He definitely emphasized that bit. It made you giggle.

“Becauseeee, you were streaming and I didn’t want to disturb you” Simultaneously both your eyes went wide. He was still streaming. You burst out laughing as Will asked one last time if you were alright, to which you gave a nod, before rushing to his stream. The chat was going absolutely wild because, what the fuck just happened?? He put his headset back on and looked into the camera, he was red and flushed.

“I am so sorry for the sudden leave chat, my... girlfriend is sick right now, and she thought it would be a good idea to overexert herself” He was very hesitant to mention his girlfriend to the stream, as they didn’t even know he had one. He preferred his private life private, but he absolutely couldn’t think of a good explanation for what had just happened.

“I DIDNT OVEREXERT MYSELF I JUST STOOD UP” You shouted, laughing, from your position on the bed. His chat, which about 5 minutes ago was filled with stans on the verge of calling 999, was now incredibly relieved, but also thoroughly surprised. His chat instantly filled up with requests to see his elusive girlfriend. To be honest, he thought they'd give a much worse reaction to the fact he had a girlfriend. It made him smile a little.

“You guys wanna see her?” He smiled, looking in your direction to check if it was okay. You smiled back, which was all he needed. He immediately ran over to the bed and grabbed you bridal style to show the stream. He couldn’t resist a chance to show you off to anyone. You giggled so loudly before shouting,

“No please I'm sick” in a dramatic manner whilst throwing your hand atop your head. He held you like you were his prized possession and looked at you admiringly.

“She's still gorgeous even if she is sick, right chat?” He glanced towards his screen before looking back at you. He carefully put your feet to the floor and let you sit on his gaming chair. “My deepest apologies chat but I am going to have to end this stream, no way am I letting them pass out again” He smiled whilst reading some of the nice comments from his stream. He closed StreamLabs and stopped his stream before looking at you with such a dad look.

“What?” You said adorably before you both laughed. He picked you up again bridal style, eliciting a small scream from you.

“You are getting back in bed, and I am getting you some food” He said sternly, and you knew there was no point arguing.

“Can you get snacks and we can cuddle my sickness away?” You pouted. He broke out in a smile of adoration as he lay you onto the bed.

“Of course” He kissed your forehead gently and started walking to the kitchen. You couldn’t help feeling bad that you interrupted Wilbur's stream, but at least you didn’t have to keep hiding your relationship. You smiled and turned on your favourite show, impatiently waiting for Will's return.

[theeslytherinslut]

The Perpetual Freak (1/?)

Pairings: Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader

Warnings: Mention of bullying,

Word Count: 2,063

The Beginning

“Twitch,

Just 4 days now--like I need to tell you, likely been counting down the days all bloody Holiday, haven’t you? We’ll be there Sept 1st at 10 on the dot, we should make it to King’s Cross by 11 that way. Be ready this time, won’t you? I think Padfoot just might actually hex your grandmother if he has to make small talk with her again, but can you blame him? Anyway, we’ll be there at 10. Don’t forget Jinx this time. I don’t fancy being attacked once he breaks out of your grandmother’s house.

P.S Sirius said he’ll be on his best behavior--does that make you nervous too?

See you soon,

Prongs (& Padfoot)

The letter lay in the same spot on your cracked cherrywood desk since you received it. Though short and to the point, you’d reread it many times, hoping somehow the more you read it, the faster the day would come.

Holidays were hell. Being a muggle-born, there was always a bit of an adjustment period after coming home from Hogwarts for a break--an adjustment period usually aided by parents and family--however, this could not have been further from the truth for you.

“Y/N!” As if on cue, your Grandmother's angry call shot up the stairs. Cringing, you held your breath as you walked down the stairs into the kitchen. She stood with her blue gingham apron covered in flour, as well as most of the floor and countertop.

“If this bloody bird scratches my window one-more-time,” she said the words through clenched teeth, glaring at you from across the room. Her stacked icy grey curls bobbled on her head as she shouted, her fist pressed against her hip. “I’ll have to drown it in the creek.”

Your Snowy Owl, Jinx, sat outside the baby-blue curtained window, his big orange eyes peering at you innocently through the glass.

Piecing together the situation, you’d guessed Jinx had arrived suddenly during your grandmother’s baking and had startled her, causing her to spill much of the contents of her bowl.

Suppressing a smile at the mess, you walked over to the window and opened it. Jinx’s peppered wings stretched out briefly before you felt his talons brush against your collarbone, and he perched onto your shoulder.

“Sorry, Grandmother,” you mumbled, catching your cousin smirking at you. A blush of anger lit up your face, and you made to disappear back into your room before anything got ugly; you’d gone all Holiday without a vicious row, and you weren’t about to start one just before you walked out the door.

“When does that school of yours start again, anyway? Aren’t you normally gone by now? Blakely’s school has already started, he’s been working so hard,” she doted, smoothing his hair as he ate his cereal, milk dribbling from his lips and onto the table. “We could all use a little peace and quiet around here, frankly.” she sniffed.

Jinx gave an annoyed hoot and ruffled his feathers unpleasantly as your grandmother glared at him from across the room.

“Train leaves September 1st at 11am like it always does. I’ll be leaving within the hour,” you said, struggling to control your voice.

“Train? There are enough of you--you, people, for an entire train?” Blakely said, dropping his spoon in his bowl, splattering more milk onto the table, evidently thoroughly shocked.

“Yes, oddly enough, it seems I’m not the only freak in England,” you said, using the word he often threw at you.

“Maybe not the only one, but definitely the biggest,” he said quietly, glaring up at you from his cereal. Grandmother, however, pretended as though she didn’t hear, merely clanged dishes loudly together as she turned back towards the sink.

“One day, I’ll hex you so terribly you’ll be lucky if someone calls you something so kind as freak,” you pushed the thought into his head and promptly stormed out of the kitchen, though savoring the terrified shock on his face.

“She-she did it again!” Blakely called, color draining his face. But you were already halfway up the staircase with Jinx balancing on your shoulder before her angry screech reached you.

You’d almost always been an utter freak in their eyes, and it all started when you were only a baby.

Your mother died while giving birth to you, and your father was never in the picture, so there was no one but your Grandmother to take you in; no one but you to blame for it all. You were, after all, the product of your mother’s insolence--having fallen pregnant at 15 by a man whom she’d never spoken of. And further, you were the reason she’d died; she wouldn’t have bled out if you hadn’t been conceived. To your Grandmother, it was as if you were the cause of every problem she had in life, a walking reminder of where it all went wrong--and she made sure you knew it.

Terrible as things already were, nothing was to be helped by the events that were to unfold. As the story had been told to you, you were a little over a year old, crying incessantly in your crib. You’d evidently been exceptionally whiny that day, crying non-stop, refusing to be consoled, and just when she’d for the first time seriously considered doing you in, you stopped. Relieved yet confused, your grandmother had come in to check on you.

“I’m hungry.”

She had heard the words clear as day, in a voice she didn’t recognize, but the words sounded funny. The voice almost echoed, somehow managing to sound crystal clear but miles away at the same time. Sure she was simply going mad from a lack of sleep, she stood rooted to her spot in shock.

“Did you hear me, Grandmother? I said I’m hungry.”

Seeing your bright Y/E/C eyes boring up into hers, she let out an ear-splitting scream when you grinned as recognition dawned on her face.

Obviously, no Muggle doctor could give any sort of explanation or help. At most, they’d give one of the two of you some kind of a crazy pill and a suggestion of seeing a family counselor.

Soon after, tragedy struck your grandmother’s side once more, and you were landed with a cousin, Blakely. Blakely, however, seemed to adopt a mindset closer to your grandmother’s about it all and would no sooner take a shine to you than get friendly with the rabies-infected alley cat.

But as the years went on, things began to get even stranger.

At the age of 3, your wailing cries caused all the lightbulbs around you to pop inexplicably (costing your grandmother a fortune, as she so loved to remind you).

At 5, you’d managed to levitate a ball Blakely was taunting you with out of his hands and into yours.

However, at age 9 is when it became harder to keep a secret; at age 9 is when your grandmother began truly resenting you.

Being a self-ascribed ‘freak,’ bullying was something you were no stranger to. A comment here, a hair tug there. However, this had been a particularly extreme case. Kylie Kippely and her best friends had backed you into a corner, each shooting off snarky comments at your scared state, and when that wasn’t enough, they began throwing things--anything they could get their hands on--cans, papers, pencils, erasers. All the while yelling how everyone would be much better off without such a freak in their midst, about how all their parents were scared to even send them to school anymore after your last incident.

Then, they began running out of rubbish and started picking up rocks instead. Before a single rock could leave their hands, however, the mulch around you began to shake, then chips slowly started rising into the air behind them. As your face went from scared to full of awe, they turned around to see what you were looking at and simultaneously dropped everything in their hands. The mulch then began pelting at all of them, causing everyone around you to scream and disperse, all batting away the pieces of mulch pelting at their running backsides.

Grandmother had pulled you out of the school before you could receive any other punishment, and from that moment on, you’d been stuck in the house with her.

With no outlet, with nothing but growing rage and resentment inside of you, things began to spiral even worse.

Just when Grandmother began researching distant reform schools, however, you received your Hogwarts letter, and everything made sense.

All the strange things you could do, all the bizarre things you made happen, had an explanation. Sure the explanation was that you were, in fact, a freak--but you weren’t the only freak. There was a whole school’s worth of freaks just like you--well, almost just like you.

Though paper cranes soared around you and magic burst from the tip of hundreds of wands, through your time at Hogwarts, you found you did have one unique gift: it was evidently called Telepathic Impression, a branch of complex magic known as Legillimens--no one else could push thoughts into other people’s heads like you could, not naturally anyway. Nobody could ask a question silently and have the Professor answer for all to hear. After you’d interjected into McGonagall’s head during your first Transfiguration class, she’d had you go straight off to Dumbledore’s office. After a brief discussion, it was found you possessed natural Legilimency skills--something that had only been seen once before. He’d been absolutely transfixed when you told him the first instance had been at the ripe age of 1, in fluent advanced English no less.

You smiled fondly at the memory of his laugh of delight as you’d repeated, ‘Did you hear me, Grandmother? I said I’m hungry.'

Never before had you told that story in any sort of positive light, never got a positive reaction either. Dumbledore had been absolutely enthralled with you from then on.

He had carefully explained the practice of Legilimency, how the mind was a layered thing and could not be ‘read’ simply, like a book. He’d explained how everyone learned it to some advantage of theirs, how no two Legilimens were the same.

After several years of private lessons, it seemed all you’d ever be able to do with your gift was push thoughts, images, and sounds of your own into other’s minds--but this was an incredible feat in itself, a private gift of yours. However, just the year before, it was found that with effort, you could twist the thought to become persuasive, convince the person the thought was their own, and to complete the idea you’d given them. During the first lesson which you found you could do so, you’d been practicing with Dumbledore. Though he was giving no effort at all to resist, you’d silently suggested his tea was abysmal and that he knock it off his desk in disgust. With a twitch of his wrist, the cup shattered onto the floor, shocking you both into silence. It was after this Dumbledore had insisted you promise to never use it for evil, never ever use it with ill intentions--for as a Legilimens himself, he would know. You quickly agreed, of course; you’d never once had the thought to use it with ill motives--aside from maybe having Blakely go for a nice long dip in the creek in the dead of January, but that was a fantasy you kept for yourself to get you through Holidays like these.

Shaking your head of past childhood memories, you turned to your trunk to make sure you did indeed have everything all packed up and ready. You didn’t want to stay a second longer than necessary.

Spotting your cloaks pushed into the depths of your closet, you plucked them from the dark and folded them into your trunk. It wasn’t a moment too soon either, because right as you closed the lid, you heard the boisterous arrival of your best friends as they pulled in the winding driveway driving the enchanted car James’ parents had lent him. You heard an enthusiastic barking whoop and smiled as Sirius’ bright eyes and smile filled your mind.

Your stomach bubbling with excitement, you hastily put Jinx in his cage as he looked around in interest. Picking up his cage, you bounded down the stairs to meet them.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Realignment

Prompt: I love when Remus is a lot smarter than he lets on, so I’d love a prompt where Logan is overworking himself and not taking care of himself and one tic of the clock away from either passing out or having a full on mental breakdown (not the type you can recover from in a day). Remus notices the little signs Logan shows, and hears the intrusive thoughts Logan has. Remus really becomes concerned when Logan’s intrusive thoughts start to involve taking breaks, going to eat properly rather than inhaling granola bars, and even sleeping. Remus storms in and is like “Logan tf????” Then gets hella soft once he realizes the state Logan is in

Thank you for the prompts, babe! I liked this one the best so I picked it. 

GUYS PLEASE VIEW THIS AS A C H E C K P O I N T if you've been scrolling for a while (and you probably have) pause here! drink water! get food! walk around the room for a little bit! stretch! do something please! you are very important to me and I care about you very deeply!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: discussions of self-harm, nothing explicit, some self-destructive tendencies and behaviors. 

Pairings: focus on intrulogical, background LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic i don’t care

Word Count: 2410

Realignment: to align again.

Realignment: to reorganize or make new groupings of.

* * *

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

The problem arises when the shit he starts to hear isn't weird at all.

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

 The more appropriate definition would be ‘fucked up like you wouldn’t fucking believe,’ but one of us has a problem with particularly strong language and shit doesn’t have to be censored in a lot of media anymore. Which is so convenient! For some of us!

 It’s fucking great.

Anyway. Point being. Fucked up shit.

 Intrusive thoughts literally fall under his purview. It’s the fun stuff! The stuff you don’t wanna think about that makes your skin crawl and your eyes pop open at the witching hour and stay awake until the sun rises. That’s Remus’s job.

 And it’s like the whole Mindscape is whack-a-mole that he gets to play with! Buttons here and there, squeeze this part and watch the eyes bug out of this part, bap this one on the head, see which one pokes up next. Who’s gonna have nightmares tonight? Who is having a nightmare tonight?

 It’s fun.

 Point. Right. Right.

 It’s normally pretty easy to tell whose intrusive thoughts are whose. They taste different. Patton’s taste like sugar so sweet it’ll fill your mouth with cavities. Virgil’s taste like spiders, crawling around his mouth. Janus’s taste like salt. So much fucking salt. Dry as hell.

 Roman’s taste like blood. Problem is, Remus’s mouth normally tastes like blood, so…

 Yeah, they gotta work that out.

 Logan’s taste like ink. Which is why it took him so long to figure out that Logan was having them. Not just because the nerdy wolverine was so convinced he couldn’t have them—rationalizing them as philosophy principles, come on—but because Remus isn’t exactly an expert on pens. Writing like normal people. Ugh.

 Normal people.

 What a lie, Janny probably gets a big kick out of those.

 No one is normal and normal is boring.

 Logan. Right.

 Okay, so here’s the thing.

 Logan’s thoughts aren’t really…standard? They are to some extent, you don’t really get a whole lot of variety from him—even when Remus has been so helpful in making his room safe for him to be in during bad days, there’s such a lack of imagination there that he wasn’t sure exactly how to feel—but it’s the recent ones that’ve been getting…weird.

 Remus chews thoughtfully on the kraken tentacle. He swings up to the chandelier and hangs by his ankles, letting the blood run to his head. Makes it easier to think sometimes.

 It hasn’t been very long since they found out…well, since they found out.

 Remus frowns. Why is he censoring himself? It’s not like he can’t fucking say self-harm, it’s not like he can’t describe what it was, it’s not like he can’t close his eyes and see it happening again.

 Then his mind jumps helpfully to the shocked, panicked look on Logan’s face and the soft, furious resignation on Roman’s, and his jaw snaps shut.

 Oh.

 Right.

 He cares. So he has to be gentle with them.

 He growls, swinging himself up to perch on the chandelier proper. He turns the kraken tentacle over and chews on the rubbery side.

 The others are delicate. Not that they’re more breakable than any other metaphysical humanoid, but their minds are fragile when it comes to Remus’s side of things. Could they handle the full spectrum of his side of thoughts and shit? Probably, they’re stronger than they give themselves credit for. Should they have to? Hell to the fuck no. But it means that Remus can’t just throw them in the deep end and see if the kraken spits them out whole or in chunks. Could they survive? Absolutely. Would they still be…them? Doubtful.

 Remus lets one of his legs go, hanging by one knee as he tips over.

 Plus they’re always a little more fragile when it comes to these thoughts anyway. Poking and prodding too much would hurt. Like, the bad kind of hurt.

 They’re not supposed to get hurt. Not like that.

 So. Gentle it is then.

 Right. The others. He has a point, he’s just gotta get there.

 Roman…fuck he’s missed his brother. They got—they got so much shit to still work out but they’re gonna do it together and fuck he loves his brother so goddamn much. Roman knows that, he knows that, and he’s always there to pull Remus out of his head when he needs it, hit him with a pillow, or tackle him onto something and hold him tight. He’s—his thoughts taste like blood and Remus hasn’t bitten anything since so that he’ll never miss it again.

 But with Logan...

 Logan is…odd. It hasn’t been long since they first found out—or rather, they confronted him about it, and Remus hasn’t tasted ink without it disappearing very quickly or knocking on someone’s door to please go get your fucking nerd, please. But the ink has only written the usual suspects, whispering the theorems in dark corners, muttering about the incompleteness of a set, the need for Logic, not Logan, and how to jump through the little loophole again.

 It’s not exactly hard for the others to tell.

 Lolo hasn’t been looking great. Sure, he’s all pressed and dressed, glasses perfectly in place, tie done up just so, walking around like everything’s just totally and completely fine, but it’s in his face. Object impermanence aside, normally when Remus bugs him, he reacts in some way.

 Sass is an emotional response and you won’t convince him otherwise.

 Whether it be a wry comment, effortlessly fixing whatever Remus has done to him this time, or even just a look, Lolo does something.

 Not anymore.

 Now he’ll just kind of…sigh and move on? He’ll fix whatever it is only if it’s directly interfering with what he’s trying to do, or when Patton or Virgil come round the corner and freak the fuck out because you’re bleeding! Then he’ll fix it.

 Remus wouldn’t say he’s bored, but he’s worried.

 Mainly because the intrusive thoughts…aren’t what he’d consider intrusive anymore.

 Take a shower.

 Eat something that isn’t just a granola bar.

 Go to sleep.

 Ask someone for help.

 See?

 If those are Lolo’s intrusive thoughts, then what the fuck is normally going on in his head?

 Remus waits. Waits. Keeps waiting.

 The instant his mouth tastes like ink again, with a question of whether or not Logan should take a break, he sinks straight into his shower. He washes his hair thoroughly, gets every single bit of grime off him he can, and puts on the softest pajamas he has—thank you, Roman—and drops himself outside of Logan’s door.

 He strains, mouth still full of ink, to hear anything other than the soft click, click, click of Logan’s keyboard.

 He can’t.

 Fuck.

 He knocks.

 “One moment, please.”

 Indeed, a few seconds later, the door opens to reveal Logan, looking as annoyingly pristine as he always does, surprised to see him.

 “Remus? Did you need something? Why…” he trails off as he takes in what Remus is wearing. “What’s wrong?”

 “Can I come in?”

 “Of—of course,” Logan stammers, moving aside to let him in, “are you alright?”

 “Should be asking you that, Lolo.”

 “Remus, you’ve just knocked, first of all, on my door and asked to come inside.” Logan adjusts his glasses as he sits at his desk. “This is extremely out of character for you.”

 “Uh-huh.” Remus flops onto the bed. “You know what else is out of character?”

 “Not wearing your costume?”

 “Not hearing intrusive thoughts.”

 Logan’s eyes widen. “Has—is there something wrong? Are you not hearing any? Do I need to get Roman?”

 Remus frowns. “Why’s it so easy for you to do that?”

 “Do what?”

 “Care. Try and take care of me.”

 Logan blinks. “Because you deserve to be taken care of, Remus. Your needs are important.”

 Remus idly toys with a loose thread on one sleeve. “Why?”

 “Why? Why are you important?” Remus nods. “Because you’re—you’re an important part of Thomas, you’re important to us, and we care about you.”

 “So it’s easy for you to care for me because…you do?”

 “As simple as that sounds,” Logan says with all the softness that should be directed at himself, “yes.”

 Remus nods. “I’m not having problems with hearing intrusive thoughts.”

 “You’re—you’re not?” Logan sighs, relaxing a little back into his chair. “Then why did you say you were?”

 “Because the thoughts that I am hearing aren’t really what I’d consider intrusive.”

 Logan frowns. “Like what?”

 Glad you fucking asked.

 “‘Take a shower,’” Remus says, his eyes fixed firmly on Logan’s face, “'eat something,’ ‘take a break,’ ‘go to sleep.’”

 He watches Logan’s face tense.

 “Sound familiar, Lolo?”

 “You—I—my apologies,” Logan manages after a moment, adjusting his tie, “I did not mean to be an inconvenience. You are correct, those are not intrusive thoughts, I’m not sure why you’re hearing them.”

 He turns to his desk and begins to fish around for a notebook.

 “That is quite intriguing, I wonder what the possibilities for hearing other types of thoughts are, considering—“

 “Lolo.”

 Logan pauses, turning back. “Yes?”

 Remus fixes him with a look, getting up and walking toward him. “They are intrusive thoughts, Logan. The issue is that your intrusive thoughts are about you taking care of yourself.”

 Logan freezes.

 “W-well, I’m sure that it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

 “So either you can admit that was a lie or Janny’s about to get summoned.”

 “Remus,” Logan sighs, “it’s fine. As you said, these aren’t what are traditionally considered intrusive thoughts, it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

 “No, Lolo, it is,” Remus argues, “because it means that the thought of you taking care of yourself is so foreign, so fucking out of the ordinary that not only does it happen to cross your mind—“ he takes Logan’s chair and spins it around— “but you try to force it out.”

 Gotcha.

 Logan looks anywhere other than Remus’s face and tries to stand. Only to wobble and crash back down.

 “Easy,” Remus says quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, “you haven’t eaten in a while.”

 “But I have work.”

 “But you need food.”

 “Remus—“

 “Logan.”

 At Logan’s honest-to-fuck pout, he sighs, dragging the poor nerd up and out the chair and sitting him on the bed.

 “Why do you think you don’t deserve to be taken care of?”

 “I didn’t say that—hey!” Logan blinks up at him, scandalized and covering his stomach. “Why did you poke me?”

 “’S what I do when Janny won’t tell me the truth.”

 “I wasn’t—okay, okay!” Logan covers his stomach protectively as Remus readies another poke. “I just…I’ve already asked for help for this before. I shouldn’t have to again.”

 Remus sighs and lightly flicks the side of his head.

 “Hey!”

 “Virgil tries that too.” He stares hard at Logan. “Come on, Lolo, you can do better.”

 “It’s not your jobs to take care of me.”

 For fuck’s sake…

 Remus reaches out and tugs gently on Logan’s tie.

 “Remus, what—“

 “You taking more books outta Patton’s library now?” Remus tilts his head. “You don’t have to beat around the bush, Lolo, just be honest.”

 “I am being honest!”

 “You’re not lying, but you’re not being honest.” At the poor nerd’s confusion, he sighs and fixes his glasses on that cute nose. “Just talk to me, Lolo.”

 “I—“ Logan sighs and oh fuck why does he look so tired?

 Well, because he hasn’t been sleeping.

 Or eating.

 Or taking care of himself.

 Unbidden, part of his conversation with Roman flashes into his head.

 “Self-harm can be self-denial too.”

 “Lolo?”

 “It’s bad enough that I’ve made you all worry about me,” Logan says finally, “I would hate to be a burden.”

 Oh, Lolo. “You and Roman, huh?”

 Logan looks up warily. “What do you do with Roman?”

 “You know what I do.”

 Logan sighs. “May at least take my glasses off first?”

 “You might wanna change too, I’m not letting you up for a while.”

 Logan stretches to place his glasses on the nightstand and poofs himself into a t-shirt and boxers. He sighs and opens his arms.

 Remus takes two running steps and tackles the poor nerd onto his bed.

 “Ah!”

 “Am I hurting you?”

 “No, no, just—just a little startled.”

 “Mm.” Remus snuggles closer into Logan, his arms wrapped tightly around him. “So. Wanna try one more time?”

 Logan sighs, deflating them both to the bed. His head lolls to his left, eyes on his open computer screen. Remus follows it, barely suppressing a growl as he stretches his arm out to save whatever’s on screen and shut it.

 “I know what I’m supposed to be doing,” Logan whispers, “I understand the process, I am aware that healing is not a linear concept, I know it’s going to take time, I—I understand.”

 Remus looks down, giving him an encouraging squeeze. “But?”

 “It’s hard,” comes the soft confession.

 Oh, Lolo.

 “I know,” he murmurs, leaning down to hug him properly, “I know, Lolo, I know it’s hard. But you can’t try and do it all yourself, you’ve gotta remember that we’re here for you, we care about you.”

 “But why?”

 Remus smiles and cuddles him tighter. “You said it yourself, Lolo. We care because we do.”

 “O-oh.” He feels Logan’s throat work as he swallows. “Thank you, Remus.”

 “Of course, Lolo. I’m guessing that sinking us to the living room so everyone else can spoil you is a bad idea, right?”

 “Yes.” Finally, finally, he feels Logan shyly tighten his grip on him. “Can we just…stay like this?”

 “Do I have your permission to hold you hostage until you fall asleep?”

 “Yes.”

 “Then go to sleep, Lolo,” Remus murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions

  If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[spencersweetie]

Coincidence (Spencer x GN!Reader Onseshot)

Category: Fluff

Summary: Spencer and Reader accidentally have a museum date when they run into each other. 

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: none <3

----------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called your name. You turned around and faced a familiar man whom you’d met through your friend Penelope. Spencer stood smiling at you with his hands in his pockets. He energetically waved at you.

You grinned back at him. “Hey Spencer! What a crazy coincidence, us both being here at the same time.” You had spontaneously decided to visit the National Gallery of Art since you had a free day to yourself over the weekend.

“Totally!” He responded. “I’m supposed to have the whole weekend off so I thought I’d revisit the gallery. How are you?”

“I’m alright! You’re revisiting? How many times have you been here? This is my first time seeing the gallery.” You had been to other art museums in Maryland but never the National Gallery of Art since you had recently moved to D.C. a year ago.

Spencer chuckled lightly. “This would be my ninth time coming here. I saw the gallery for the first time when I was nine years old  and couldn’t keep myself away from this place.

“Wow!” You exclaimed. “I don’t blame you, I’ve only seen the sculpture garden and the first few pieces in this wing so far and everything is gorgeous; I’m in love already.”

“You know what, I’ve got the building memorized!” Spencer eagerly informed you. “If you want, I could be your personal guide and show you the best parts of each exhibit and take you on the most efficient path through the museum! I mean, you don’t have to say yes, it’s up to you.”

“Spencer, that’d be awesome, I’ll totally tag along if you’re cool with that!” You beamed at him, trying to hide your excitement. You usually went on trips like these alone so it was nice to have someone who could enjoy the same thing as you by your side.

“Great, let’s go!” Spencer turned and gestured towards the next exhibit.

------------------------------------------------------------

As you and Spencer explored the museum together, you noticed how abnormally comfortable you felt around him. You two had never hung out without Penelope so this was a first for you both. Even without your mutual friend, you found that Spencer was both easy to listen to and easy to talk to. He of course knew a lot about the art in the gallery and thoroughly explained each piece to you but you appreciated that he never talked to you like you were dumb or lesser than him. He regularly asked if you were okay with his infodumps as well, which you completely didn’t mind. You could tell that he undoubtedly had a passion for the arts, and you liked that he was so enthusiastic to share that with you.

While you did certainly find Spencer’s interesting facts to be intriguing, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as you looked at him from the side. He didn’t notice your looking as he faced the painting while he talked to you, completely occupied by the piece that was on the wall in front of him. You liked the way he spoke about the art that he showed you. Spencer was very animated, clearly demonstrating his excitement about whatever he was explaining in the movement of his hands. His face was quite expressive too. His eyebrows rose and fell as he talked and his eyes squinted and widened as he conversed with you. You hadn’t noticed how pretty Spencer’s eyes were until now, how his irises were brown but with little gold specks on the inside. You liked that when he wrinkled his nose in the middle of a sentence, his scrunch reached the top of his nose bridge between his eyes. His nose was a nice nose, you thought. It enhanced his side profile and turned slightly upwards when he smiled too. And his lips. Today you noticed that his lips were quite… pink. And full. And plump. You had to catch yourself when your eyes traveled down from Spencer’s eyes to his mouth when he spoke, then hope that he didn’t notice your distraction. You just liked that way he smiled, that’s all, you told yourself. He often kept his smile as he talked and continued to smile when you spoke to him too. You liked the way his lips puckered when his smile grew bigger as he finished his sentences. It seemed like an uncontrollable habit of his-

“Y/N?” Spencer interrupted your thoughts. He looked at you with his brows slightly raised.

“Hm, yeah?” Your mind snapped back to the present moment. “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

“Are you okay? Am I boring you? We could stop here if you want!”

“No, Spencer- it’s fine!” You jumped to explain. “You’re good, I promise! I’m not bored, I just got lost in my thoughts for a second. Um, the only da Vinci painting in the U.S. right? Is this one here?” 

“Exactly!” Spencer lit up and straightened his posture. “Da Vinci painted less than 20 oil paintings throughout his career; this one was bought for $5 million and arrived in D.C. in 1969!”

“Damn!” You exclaimed. “So that makes this portrait like, the Mona Lisa of the National Gallery, huh?”

“Absolutely!” Spencer agreed with you. “The gallery has other Da Vinci pieces displayed but none that are as rare and valuable as an oil painting of his. This one, Ginerva de’ Benci, is a portrait of a daughter of a banker, most likely commissioned when she was about 16 and just engaged. You know, the juniper bush is what’s in the background. Juniper represents chastity which was one of the most significant traits of a woman in the Renaissance era. It’s kind of a subtle little pun, including the juniper plant, because in Italian the plant is called ginepro.”

“Oh! Ginepro, Ginerva! That’s so cute, I love it!” You told him. “I like how there’s like no fancy jewelry or finery on her in this portrait too. It’s different from the Renaissance portraits of the other ladies that we saw.”

“Yeah, it’s a little bit of a surprise when it comes to a portrait like this that she isn’t completely dressed up! It doesn’t reveal her family’s wealth like portraits commonly do. I love that you noticed that.” Spencer’s lips turned at the corners in appreciation of your attention to detail. “Let’s move onto the next one!”

------------------------------------------------------------

You and Spencer moved on through the exhibit, then through the rest of the museum. You two enjoyed each other’s company for the day and were able to see all the art in three hours. As you exited, you found yourself laughing as you and Spencer recalled the events of the day. “I still can’t believe they kept trying to pay you for a private tour even after you insisted you weren’t a museum tour guide!” You laughed into your hand which was clapped over your mouth, trying not to draw attention to you and Spencer. 

“Shut up!” Spencer jokingly rolled his eyes at you. “I hate that they were gathered around me too, attracting a crowd while trying to hand me money. I don’t even wear a uniform like the other employees!” Spencer cracked up along with you, shaking as he pictured himself standing next to you, explaining to a group of strangers that he was just visiting with a friend, not working for the gallery.

You shrieked with laughter, uncontrollably gasping for air as you tried to calm yourself. “Then when they said they would call the gallery and get you fired for denying customers!” Tears were coming out of your eyes from being unable to stop laughing. “And you just went ‘Okay!’ and walked off without me!” You missed a step and tripped, grabbing Spencer’s arm as you fell into him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You were half still dying from laughing and half freaking out from your mistake. “I didn’t mean to grab you, I know you’ve got a germ thing! I think I just got a little carried away and wasn’t careful enough to watch my step!” You frantically apologized to Spencer. “Are you okay?”

Spencer grinned at you and dusted you off on your shoulders. “Relax, Y/N. I know you’re not germy; I’m not gonna freak out if you touch me. And I’m fine, you’re the one who fell!” He reassured you. “Are you okay? Do you need a second? You’re pink in the face, I don’t know if from laughing or from tripping on the step.”

“I’m fine, I’m good! Thank you Spencer.” You replied, still hot around your face. “Let’s just get out of here before I start to laugh and embarrass myself again.” You chuckled. “Are you free for the rest of the day? We could get something to eat if you’re hungry!” 

Spencer smiled at you. “Yeah, I’m free! Do you like Indian? There’s this new place that’s about 10 minutes from here-”

A loud ringing cut his sentence off. Spencer sighed and apologetically looked at you before whipping his cell phone out of his pocket. “Yeah?” He spoke into the phone.

He listened for a few seconds before speaking. “I’m in D.C. but I’ll be there as soon as possible. Thanks, Penelope.” Spencer hung up and shoved his phone back into his coat.

“Got a case?” You asked.

“Yeah. I’m so sorry, Y/N, I know we were supposed to-”

“Spence!” You stopped him. “You don’t have to apologize, we didn’t even plan on hanging out today!”

Spencer’s eyes softened; he expected you to express disappointment before anything else and was surprised that you were understanding instead. He smiled and nodded. “Okay, but we could still check out the new Indian place another time, yeah?”

You felt butterflies in your stomach emerging. “Of course. Thank you for today, Spencer. I had an amazing time.”

“Me too, Y/N. I’ll text you when we get back!” 

-----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your thoughts or send anon feedback, anything is appreciated <33

[qqueenofhades]

Thank you for your answer to my last ask! Just sort of carrying on from that, what do you think about how they should cover medieval queerness in a potential prequel? I read your post about the deep relationships between knights which was really interesting. I guess what I'm asking is what would "Period-typical Homophobia" for Nicky and Joe actually be? Thank you for educating us better than school does.

Okay, I’m gonna come in here with a Scorching Hot Take that may ruffle some feathers, but possibly... none?

If the point of including casual homophobia or homophobic references is literally just for the sake of evoking some supposed Medieval Bigotry for ~Le Atmosphere Of Dark Age, there is a) no point to it, and b) not much historical evidence either. People love to point out that we didn’t have the modern identity labels of “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” etc. in the olden days -- well, in that case, we don’t have modern homophobia either, or reactions to those behaviors in the same way. We don’t even have much textual evidence for how ordinary people (outside clerical/religious elites, who would be predisposed to disapprove, just like the religious right today) reacted to so-called “queerness” in their communities, and the circumstantial evidence we DO have suggested that it was far from any imagined universal experience of rejection and isolation. Besides, what we call “queer” due to fragile modern heteronormativty and toxic masculinity was actually intensely normal for medieval people.

One of the tiresome arguments that Straight Historians tend to use, when queer historians are arguing for a queer, romantic, or sexual relationship between two people of the same gender (usually men, because that’s who mostly appears in our sources), is that “friendship was a lot more romantic/intimate/emotional/physical in nature back then!!! They’re not gay They’re Just Pals!!” This is actually true, in that medieval men, far from this Iron Man No Homo No Emotions trope that (once again) we ourselves have come up with, were encouraged (as I wrote about in my gay knights post) to love each other almost, if not quite, beyond reason. There was so much crying, kissing, embracing, tender declarations of loyalty, etc (see: Is It Gay or Is It Feudalism?) Any of those behaviors would make the modern viewer go “lololol HOMOSEXUAL!!!”, but it’s not even always the case? The standards of physical affection, vows of devotion, and close emotional bonds even between platonic friends were just different, and while yes, there was a corresponding anxiety about this attachment turning sexual, the fact that it was considered as a worry in the first place shows you how intense these bonds could be. So while the modern viewer may see two men acting like that and go “oh no gay cooties,” this just wouldn’t raise any eyebrows at all to a medieval person, and hence they’re not going to come back with some dumb manufactured homophobic comment.

Next, in re Joe and Nicky specifically: I SORELY long for a scene in this imaginary prequel where after something romantic has happened between them for the first time, Nicky understandably freaks out a little and goes to confession. There is one other guy in front of him, and a bored priest who is not very good at his job. Guy In Front of Nicky (we’ll call him Guy) goes into the booth and kneels. Priest looks at him, doesn’t even ask. “Oh, is it sodomy again? Fine, seven days fasting bread and water, say two decades of the rosary, Ego te absolvo in nomine Patris -- ”

Waiting outside the booth, Nicky can hear this (since remember this priest is Bad at his Job and has apparently never met the concept of confessional confidentiality in his life) and sags in relief a little. Oh sodomy isn’t that bad, right, it’s a venial sin, no big --

“Father,” says Guy, “I confess that I have also consorted with a Saracen in search of a magical remedy.”

(We don’t gender the Saracen, because we don’t believe in supporting  stereotypes, and since it’s established Guy is into Kinky Stuff, you never know.)

Priest LOSES HIS SHIT.

“You WHAAAAAAAT? CONSORTING WITH A SARACEN FOR MAGIC!! THIS IS A TERRIBLE SIN!!! YOU NEED TO REPENT IMMEDIATELY!!!”

Cut back to Nicky. OH SHIT!!! Sodomy not bad, he could deal with that. Consorting with a Saracen?? OH SON YOU’RE DOOMED. SODOMY WITH A SARACEN??? OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO HELL!

Cue Nicky’s silent existential crisis Dying in the background while the priest lectures Guy to within an inch of his life. Finally, Guy decides fuck this priest (not like that, this is not Fleabag) and scuttles out. A thoroughly terrified Nicky thinks about following him, but since the priest has already seen him, he can’t flee. He goes into the booth and kneels down, Quaking.

“What have you come to confess, my son?”

Nicky.exe has stopped working.

“.....jealousy.”

You get the idea. And guess what? This would be COMPLETELY accurate, because if we were using, say, Burchard of Worms’ Decretum, an early 11th-century handbook advising priests what penalties to give to various sins, that’s basically how it’s treated. Sodomy is blown over briefly with the other venial sins as a certain amount of days fasting on bread and water, while Burchard is really, really worried about witchcraft, magic, non-Christian beliefs, and other such things. So again, really, what is “Period-Typical Homophobia?” We’ve already established that behavior between two men that would raise modern eyebrows would be absolutely nothing remarkable to a medieval person, while priests obviously don’t approve of sodomy, but they’re not that fussed by it either. (Unless you’re Peter the Chanter, who’s just a dick, but he is yet again one guy writing about one specific context, 12th-century Paris, and the fact that he’s complaining so much means that it’s obviously happening in reality.) Besides, the whole idea was that sodomy was the “unspeakable sin,” aka something people just didn’t mention or talk about, which is why it can be hard to track down reliable or unambiguous treatments of it. Obviously, queer erasure isn’t a surprise, but it doesn’t mean that these people didn’t exist; it just means that chroniclers, especially monastic chroniclers, didn’t write about it. So even if this is outright happening, i.e. Joe and Nicky’s romance and/or the number of other queer characters we will be sure to include for verisimilitude, there’s still no guarantee that anyone would even actually SAY something.

And besides: not every minute of history was filled with homophobia, just as not every minute was filled with filth, torture, misogyny, etc. There is actually no necessary reason to include it, especially in boring modern homophobia form, unless you’re trying to beat us over the head with Things Being Bad Back Then. Especially if we’re making a movie that honors and empowers queer people, who deserve a chance to escape into a lavish historically detailed gay romance with Joe and Nicky and not have to deal with bog-standard microaggression as a result. Because what I’ve laid out above is just as much (in fact more so) historically accurate, and MUCH more funny, interesting, authentic, and original.

(And thanks so much!! Another GREAT question.)

[bowie-boy]

Favorite LGBT+ headcanons for X-Files characters? Mine is that pretty much every main F.B.I. agent(including Krycek) is either bisexual or asexual(or both)! :)

This has been in my inbox for months and I keep forgetting about it I’m so sorry but TODAY IS THE DAY!!!! Happy TDOV Fox and @himbo-mulder (this is my response to your ask too)

LGBTQ X-Files Headcanons Because Someone Asked

Fox Mulder:

Bi and trans icon

The first person he told was Samantha

She accepted him immediately as her big brother and told him he should name himself Fox (it was her favorite animal at the time)

He was going to make his name William Mulder Jr. up until she disappeared, in which he actually decided to make his first name Fox (he misses her 🥺)

Came out to his parents sometime in high school, both took it badly

Bill was hella transphobic—he was already pretty shitty to Mulder but this added a whole new layer to it

Teena was more passive aggressive about it but still made withering comments about how she “lost two daughters now”

Some high school friends (*chants* PHOEBE AND GIMBLE PHOEBE AND GIMBLE) helped Mulder start T and change his legal name on government documents before he left for Oxford

Mulder wanted to go stealth while he was there but came out to Phoebe

When they broke up, she outed him to everyone

Things got so bad that he almost dropped out

Mulder joined the FBI, excited at the prospect of knowing no one and being able to go exclusively by his last name

He was somewhat happy of his solitude in the basement—no one really looked into him past his spooky nature, so no one could find out he was trans

Since Samantha, Scully was the first person who was truly accepting of who he really was

Got top surgery sometime before Colony

Definitely fell in love with Scully right after reading her profile skrjnwkdjwka

Mulder and Krycek were definitely an item for a hot sec until Krycek went evil

Mulder is 500% faithful to Scully but kinda had a crush on Doggett for a little bit

Mulder just wants to be a better dad than Bill 🥺🥺🥺

Mulder helped Byers realize he was trans!!! More on that later though

Dana Scully:

A bi queen

Definitely experimented in college and had a couple girlfriends there and through med school

Ending up breaking up with a girl she was really close with because Scully’s job was just putting too much strain on their relationship

It was really hard on her and made her swear off serious relationships for a long time

She thought Mulder was adorable from the moment she saw him but was really scared of actually developing feelings for him so she pushed it down

And kept pushing it down until she finally realized Mulder was never going to hurt her and actually let him in

I’m just ranting about MSR now oops

100% faithful to Mulder but thought Reyes was super hot

Scully is just a distinguished bi idk what else to say

Walter Skinner:

You can’t adopt THAT MANY LGBT agents if you’re not LGBT yourself, right?

Definitely bisexual

Grew up in a really conservative family and didn’t even consider it an option until he moved out

Skinner was attracted to a lot of guys in his squad in Vietnam but he thought it was just because there were no women around

(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t)

Skinner fell in love with John “Kitten” James and he fell hard

Absolutely did everything possible to protect that man

He was terrified of his feelings though and pushed them down, eventually starting to resent his best friend for making him feel things he couldn’t understand

When Kitten got infected by that gas, Skinner put his values over the man he loved, not just because he thought it was the right thing to do, but because he was terrified that he might be bi

He has regretted it ever since

Married his wife after the war and had a pretty good relationship until he became too consumed with his work

Their breakup was really hard on him and he delved even more into his work

Sometime after Avatar (maybe by season 5 or 6), Skinner meets a really lovely man and that man becomes his boyfriend

It’s really hard at first, but the guy helps Skinner to open up and allow himself to be okay with who he really is

They make time for each other outside of work and are really happy together!

Skinner’s boyfriend is 100% okay with the fact that Skinner has basically adopted all these agents

Skinner is everyone’s dad!!! No exceptions

John Byers:

Trans man!!!!

Discovered it pretty late in life, like he knew earlier but he Repressed it

First person he ever came out to was Mulder (as in my fic 😌)

Lots of internalized transphobia in this man but Mulder and the Lone Gunmen really helped him break out of that

Langly and Frohike obviously went with him to get his first T shot and chanted “MAN JUICE” while it happened (scaring a lot of the nurses)

Met Susanne before he transitioned so seeing her again in Three of a Kind was a little terrifying for him

She accepts him though and is a bi icon herself

Byers wears suits so much because they make him feel really validated

Ringo Langly:

Non-binary and gay!! Langly uses any pronouns (gonna stick to he/him for this list to keep things simple though)

Grew up pretty unaware about gender as a whole, just living his life

Moving away from home to a city was huge for him, he started going to gay bars and really realized that he was gay

Eventually started to experiment with his gender, using different pronouns etc., and found out he was non-binary!

Came out to Frohike shortly after learning Frohike was bi (more on that later)

Goes by Ringo because it’s somewhat gender neutral

He isn’t dysphoric very often but when he is it’s very hard for him to cope, Byers and Frohike are always there to support him and help however possible though

Langly gets way more dates than Frohike and loves to brag about it

Melvin Frohike:

We stan one funky little bi king

HE WAS AT STONEWALL I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL

Frohike had a mega crush on Mulder when he first met him and it persisted all the way until he met Scully

And then when he met Doggett he crushed on him too

Frohike is just kind of a hopeless romantic okay I love him

Absolutely bonds with Scully and they always debate which celebrity is hotter while they get more and more drunk

John Doggett

GAY MAN

Doggett was really repressed for a lot of his life, not because he thought his family would hate him for being gay but mostly because of his environment

(He was a drama kid though)

The military REALLY repressed him and thoroughly fucked him up

It wasn’t until he met Reyes that he started to accept himself more

At first Reyes being a lesbian totally freaked him out and he was really upset, leading to a huge strain on their friendship, but one night he broke down and told her he was pretty sure he was gay

Reyes really helped him through everything, especially his divorce from his wife and the loss of his son

Doggett eventually came out to his dad, who was super accepting

It took Doggett a long time to be comfortable enough to date but he started and met a really great guy, one who he’s now married to

One day he mentioned his boyfriend in passing and the rest of the Spooky Squad totally flipped out because they had no idea he was gay

Doggett just straight-faced “I didn’t think it was relevant?”

Sings musical theater songs in the office when no one else is there

Monica Reyes:

A lesbian

There isn’t a straight bone in her body have you SEEN her???

Absolutely crushed on Scully for the longest time at first, totally backed off when she realized she was involved with Mulder

Total mlm/wlw solidarity with Doggett

Reyes is super comfortable with her sexuality

I’m convinced that she’s married and she and her wife live in the same neighborhood as Doggett and his husband

Running out of brain power at this point but I just love her so much??? Mwah

Alex Krycek:

Gay rat

Everything he did against Mulder and Scully was fueled by spite at his ex-boyfriend Mulder

Daddy issues

Sometimes he breaks into TLG’s base and vibes with them for a few days

Rat (affectionate)

Deep Throat:

Gay :)

Bonus: Melissa Scully is a trans lesbian and Samantha Mulder is bisexual and they’re dating

[lucyhalearchive]

Home Alone (B.B.)

Hey, guys! Here is a cute little request an anon made, but I accidently deleted it. They asked for a cute Bruce imagine, and here it is <3

Warnings: a little angsty, but nothing big. 

Word Count: 1.1k 

Summary: Bruce is afraid he’ll lose you someday. 

You weren’t as involved with Bruce’s life as you'd like to be. 

When you would wake up in the morning, you would hope to turn onto your side and run your hand up his chest, smiling as he looked down at you. Instead, you would turn to meet cold sheets and an empty apartment. You would drag yourself out of that same bed and wander aimlessly around the place trying to fill the day with chores or any hobby you could find. 

When the day would end, you would crawl back into the same bed, feeling empty. However, it’s not like you never saw Bruce because sometimes you would go into his lab and visit him, or he would come home to change. They always say it’s the little things that count. 

Today is just one of those days where you go to see him right around the universal time for lunch, but as you step into the lab, there’s no one around. You search around for a few minutes thinking he would be elbow deep in research or something Tony asked him to do, but it’s empty. You tighten your grip on your bag and whirl around to leave, wondering if you should leave a note to call, but you scream when someone runs into you. 

“Hey, woah, it’s me.” Bruce grabs your upper arms to stabilize you. You back off and take a deep breath before laughing. 

“I came looking for you for lunch, but I didn’t see you.” You mention, and suddenly you feel this nagging pull of annoyance. You don’t know what to do with your arms, so you decide to put them behind you. 

“I can’t today. I have a ton of work to finish-” You roll your head back causing him to stop. 

“You can’t step away for ten minutes?” You try to bargain, but he pushes past you to get to his desk littered in papers. 

“I just can’t. Go home, okay? I’ll be done here not much longer.” He dismisses you, and for a moment you begin to walk off. You start to prepare yourself for entering that same lonely room that’s been waiting for you all day. For a moment, you’re excited and willing to because when you were asleep, Bruce was there in your dreams. He was there with you living a completely normal life. He was always there, but in the end, they’re just dreams. They don’t hold you when you’re down, or comfort you when you’re lonely. 

“No, I’ll wait since you won’t be long.” You turn back around and sit in a chair not too far from his workspace, and you can hear him let out an annoyed, yet tired, sigh. 

“Love, just go home. I promise I won’t be gone for too long.” He picks up a pen and starts to work again, but you stay put. You cross one leg over the other and get comfortable. For a few minutes, everything is quiet. The sound of Bruce writing and flipping through papers is the only noise echoing through the room until you start to hum. He slowly picks his head up, looking towards you. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, readjusting his standing position. You just lean forward in the seat and smile. 

“Talk to me! Tell about something stupid Tony said, or tell me something that made you laugh. We never talk anymore.” You bring up, watching how he just stares you down, but you just smile at him. You know that he takes pride in what he does, and he wants it to be done thoroughly, but you just miss him. 

“I can’t right now, okay? Just go home if you can't sit down and shut up.” His voice is harsher than before. Harsher than he’s ever been, and it shocks you. You don’t miss the way a green hue slides up his neck before he soothes over the area with his hand. 

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something?” You move forward to be in front of him, on the other side of his desk, but he shakes his head and moves away. 

“It’s nothing you did.” He comments, and that makes you spiral into curiosity. What happened?

“Bruce, what happened?” You reach a hand up to his shoulder, but he moves away. 

“Don’t. Just- just don’t.” He sounds on edge. It almost sounds like he is in pain, or he’s about to fall apart at the seams. You bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Why haven’t you come home?” You bring up after a moment of more silence hoping that he would come forward with anything at this point. You know that he isn’t one to keep anyone in the dark, but this is something else. 

“I didn’t come home for a while because the other guy took over, and I couldn’t find a way to get back. I was stuck, and I just kept thinking what would you think or what would I do if this happened while I was with you?” He refuses to look at you, back turned. 

“You know that I wouldn’t think different of you, Bruce.”

“But what if I hurt you one day? I just got you into my life, and I want you here for the long haul.” He turns around, breathless. An upset feeling is written on his face, but you just give him the biggest smile you can muster. 

“Bruce, you could throw me into the side of a skyscraper, and I wouldn’t give a damn. Bruce, I love you.” You reach out for his hand, but he pulls it away before you can grab it. He looks at the ground, and you can read his thoughts going on in his head by the look on his face. 

“Out of everyone, why did you choose me? You knew that I was this-”

“Don’t start with me, Bruce Banner.” You point a finger in his face angrily, and he sighs dejectedly. You two have had this conversation before; he says he’s the worst person to live, and you’re not allowed to fight back. Today, you will, though. 

“You are the same man I fell in love with since that day, and you always will be. I don’t think I’ll be changing my mind anytime soon.” You caress his face, and he smiles. You run your hand down his neck, leaving a loving kiss on his cheek, and hit his chest twice before turning around towards the door. 

“Now, let’s go home and rest up. We missed a few weeks of laying around in bed.”

---

I hope you guys enjoyed this! I’ve been freaking out all day because I have this weird chest pain, but I think I’m fine lol 

Also, my document that had all of my ideas on like disappeared, so now I have to rewrite them. 

- Lucy

[heyitsmeyuhh]

Midnight City - Chapter 1 (Bokuto x F reader)

AN// Before you guys jump into this, I just want to warn you that this is my first fic ever. I was inspired by some other stuff I had seen and I wanted to try it for myself. Also, just to give you guys a little background, I like to listen to music when I write, so I have titled each chapter with the song that I thought fit the vibes that I wanted to put into my chapter. I don’t expect you to listen to them (that would be a little pretentious of me), but if you really wanna experience it how I wanted it to feel, there you go. Hope you guys enjoy! Please feel free to message me or comment if you like it and want to see more. Or if you hate it. Tbh, after the last year and a half, any interaction is welcome. 

SFW // WC 1,402

Chapter 1: Midnight City – M83

Y/n was not the kind of person to take note of her neighbors, in fact, she actively avoided them, but she was curious about the new man who moved in next door. Well, she was more interested in why it had been vacant for so long in the first place, and why it took so long to rent it out to a new person. She figured that it had been trashed by the previous renters or it was haunted or something, but this didn’t stop someone new from finally moving in. I guess the owner would have found someone to overlook the flaws at some point. Maybe it was really cheap.

Just as soon as the curiosity had drifted over her, it had left, and she refocused on her work. Today was her day off and she needed to run some errands later before the stores closed. She was almost out of cadmium red oil paint and she was very much out of food. She finalized her shopping list and started to get ready to leave. She donned an extra-large black sweatshirt and some charcoal gray sweatpants. She slipped a pair of slides on over her socks and situated a blue Angels beanie low onto her head. Her final touch was a medical grade surgical mask across her nose and mouth. She peaked in the mirror to make sure she was covered and quietly snuck out of the apartment, locking it behind her.

Ever since Y/n’s career as an artist began to pick up steam, she had been increasingly paranoid about her privacy. She never posted her face on her art Instagram, and she made sure to unlink her personal profile from her professional one years ago. When she moved to the city, she became even more aware of her growing presence in the fine art community. Numerous people messaged her on Instagram wanting to meet her, some of the messages getting very creepy. She began to accumulate small batches of fan mail (to a PO box of course) every few months or so, noting the occasional inappropriate gift every once in a while. At one point, she even had a person wait for her there to see who would pick up her letters, so she could meet her. This thoroughly freaked Y/n out; that’s when she started to wear a mask in public. At the time, it was very strange to see a person wearing a facial covering in the grocery store, coffee shop, or grabbing fast food, but she was doing it for her protection. Granted, she wouldn’t wear it all the time, but she always made sure to hide her face in the vicinity of her apartment building or commonly frequented areas. When the pandemic hit, Y/n was partially relieved; she was better able to blend into a crowd while remaining anonymous. Of course, fewer and fewer people were wearing masks now that the chaos had died down, but she was no longer looked at like a freak.

As she left the doors of the sky rise, she stepped out into the humid summer evening of Los Angeles. Admittedly, she was overdressed for the weather, but she liked to obscure as much of her identity as possible. Plus, there were plenty of strange people in this city; one girl in overly baggy clothes in the middle of summer was mundane comparatively.

She walked her way down the street to the specialty art store down the road. The clerk greeted her with a nod and went back to reading his book behind the counter. She wandered into the paint isle and grabbed the tube she needed. She also couldn’t help to stare at the new arrivals section and pick out a few new brushes, though she knew she didn’t need any more. Keeping her head down she set the supplies on the counter and paid for her things without a word, just like she always did, and she quickly marched her way south a few blocks to the Trader Joe’s. She honestly loved grocery shopping. She would often take her time wandering the isles looking for the newest snacks and foods that showed up above the freezer trays. However, today she had paint drying on a canvas at home and she needed to get back to manipulate a few more details before it set. She quickly grabbed the few things on her list and set them in her basket before turning to walk toward the cash registers. When she turned she stepped forward and nearly face planted into the man walking the opposite way down the aisle. They both stopped abruptly, and Y/n dropped the bag of art supplies before taking an automatic step back. As her heel came down, however, she could feel a small pop and she quickly glanced down at the ruptured paint tube in the bag.

Shit. She thought regrettably.

“Ah- I’m so sorry!” the man gasped, seeing her squish whatever was in her other bag under her foot. He was very tall with black and gray gelled hair and a dumbstruck look in his golden eyes.  He crouched down to help her pick up her stuff, but she beat him to it and scooped up the bag before straightening up to make brief eye contact.

“… Sorry!” she squeaked out before scurrying over to the registers.

Hopefully I’ll be able to salvage some of this when I get home. She paid for her groceries and half-jogged home. Taking the stairs two at a time, she made it to the twelfth floor of her building and hurried to her door at the end of the hall.

Once she made it inside she quickly stashed her food and changed back into her oversized tee shirt and underwear to paint.  She was glad that she lived so high up, so she could wear whatever she wanted around her place without feeling like she was being watched. She often would lounge in her sports bra and a pair of running shorts, or like tonight, paint in a big shirt and no pants. It was freeing.

She poured herself a glass of red wine and settled onto her stool outside, her supplies already strewn across her workspace. She flicked the switch to turn on her stringed porch lights and finally pulled out the squashed paint tube from the bag.

“Damn, half of its unusable.” She muttered to herself, and she held the bag while she scooped as much as she could salvage onto her palette. She slowly drifted back into her groove and started to make more progress on her piece with the remainder of the evening light dipping below the horizon.

Not much longer than 30 minutes later, she heard some people enter into her new neighbor’s apartment. The walls of the building were relatively thin, but Y/n had the luxury of sharing the wall with exactly one other apartment, one that had been notably vacant for months until today. This was the luxury of living at the end of the hall: each flat occupying a corner of the western side of the tower and sharing only one wall with another unit. The only caveat was that the balconies were built as one structure and a divider was erected to separate the two. The divider was made of wood paneling, and though it served as a beautiful accent to the porch, it was not very sound resistant, and Y/n could hear everything from the other side of the wooden wall. The previous neighbors were a quiet family, though the older man would occasionally come onto the porch to have heated arguments over the phone in another language.

The new neighbors sounded a bit rowdy and it seemed that they might have been throwing a housewarming party. Y/n didn’t mind the muffled noise while she finished painting for the night, but she made sure to note how easily she could hear conversation when she walked through her living room. She assumed the apartments were mirrored and shared the wall of the common area and the kitchen. She smiled a bit and rolled her eyes at their sporadic cheers and thumping music as she poured herself another glass of wine and retired to her room. With the door closed, she could barely hear the commotion, and after flicking on her TV to a random show, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

[passionate-hedgehog]

Sequins and Handcuffs

Pairing: Damien Haas x Reader (fem)

Warnings:Languages and mildly suggestive content (a joke between friends, nothing happens lol. Ya girl is ace and writing that freaks me out. Ick.)

Word Count: 1117

A/N: I’m so glad I started this prompt fic series. It’s my way of journaling and it’s more therapeutic than I thought. I’ve spent the last year trying to bury emotions but I’m working on finding them again so my writing gets better. In the meantime, enjoy my robotic nature. ALSO----> If you have fic req’s that you want, send them to MEEEEEE!!!! I’ll write for more than SMOSH. I’m just doing SMOSH only because I feel like these are making a miniseries at this point lol ♥

Summary: Reader is preparing for a visit from her two best friend’s from back home and is ridiculously excited. Damien is interested, too, but for a whole different reason.

The table that Y/n was sitting at in the costume corner was shaking in rhythm to her leg. The container of purple sequins that Rochelle had collected to add to Sarah’s dress nearly crashed to the floor before the designer caught them. The woman put them back in their spot before tapping Y/n’s leg twice.

“If you don’t stop, you’re going to jostle the whole building down. You better get it together before your excitement ruins your stomach for the day. You know how you get.” Rochelle went back to sticking pins into the mannequin. 

Y/n tapped the tips of her fingers along the wood in place of bouncing her legs. The costume designer would have sworn that the other woman could have dented the table by the sheer force of her movements. 

“For the love of- Go run a lap or something. Better yet!” Rochelle grabbed a toolbox from the shelf holding bundled fabric and an assortment of scissors. “Go run this to Sarah for me? She wanted to borrow some things for a project. Maybe if you crabwalk, you’ll run out all of that energy.”

“Yes, Mom.” Y/n mumbled, dodging a ball of twine that had been thrown at her head.

----------

The producer was found standing behind a camera during a Try Not To Laugh Shoot. Y/n stood quietly in the corner and watched the antics of the cast. She found it particularly difficult to stay quiet when Jackie rolled around on the floor whining in a blue dress but absolutely lost it when Noah found himself stuck to Jackie’s stool. When Damien came out from behind the screen, she rolled her eyes and smirked. Of course the man would know how to get someone out of locked handcuffs.

After the shoot wrapped, Y/n approached the producer to finish the task she was given. “Hey, Sarah. Rochelle said to give you this toolbox?”

“Oh. yes! Score! I have some pillowcases I want to repurpose but I’m missing some things. I still gotta get Claudio’s head measurement...Tell her thank you when you go back. I’m SO EXCITED.” The producere shimmied with the box held up next to her face. “Tonight is gonna rock! Speaking of…”

“Nope. That’s my cue. Gotta jet!” Y/n turned tail and ducked out of the studio as quick as she could. When she made it back to the costume corner she found the door was locked. A sign that read “Y/n, you’re banished until after my Zoom luncheon. Run more laps. Chase a squirrel. Do SOMETHING that’s not destructive. Thanks, bby.” was taped on the locked door.

“Well, that’s harsh.” A man’s voice rang, right next to her left ear.

“God freaking dammit, Damien Christian Haas. I swear to-”

“You just did.”

Y/n  took the hand she had frantically placed over her heart and used it to swat at the man’s baseball cap. “I’m so close to fighting you. I don’t think you understand.”

“Yikes. So, what did you do to get banished from ‘Ye Ol Cloth Abundance’?”

“Ye Ol...the fuck…” The woman shook the words from her head. “I...might have been a disturbance...possibly destructive…”

Damien fake gasped. “You? A disturbance? AND destructive?”

“I said ‘possibly’, Dames. Possibly.”  

He smiled a toothy smile. “Yeah, that’s going to be an issue.”

Y/n cocked an eyebrow, thoroughly confused. “What? What’s going to be an issue?”

“Uh...nothing. I have to get something from the break room. Wanna join since you can’t get in there?” The actor pointed towards the offending sign on the door.

“Yeah, sure.” She agreed and they turned to begin their trek.

“So, what made you distracted enough to be a disturbance?”

“My two best friends from back home are coming to visit and I can’t freaking wait!” Y/n started bouncing through the next few steps. “I haven’t seen them in years. We had some time apart because of life and everything. But when we separately joined a forum for cat owners, we clicked all over again.I didn’t even know either of them were in it until I saw them talking to each other over the comments section. It was like we were never even apart.”

“Oh man, that’s a solid friendship right there. I’d be super jealous if I didn’t have Shayne.” Damien finished with a smirk similar to the one Y/n held after the TNTL filming.

Y/n jokingly nudged her elbow into Damien, The man, in turn, smoothly linked their arms together and then ran his hand down her wrist to lace her fingers with his. He slowly pulled her to a stop when they were in a quiet corner in the hallway.

“Do I get to meet them when they visit?”

“Of course! I’m going to introduce them to as many people as I can! They’re my babies. Of course I’m going to show them off.” The woman giggled.

Damien seemed to be thinking through his next words. “Yes, but what version of me are you introducing to them?”

Y/n shook her head. “I don’t...the human...one?”

“I mean like the co-worker version of me? Or the version of me that’s holding your hand in this quiet corner of the hallway?” He held up their hands as if to show proof to her that they were indeed linked.

After blowing out some air and making noises that made no sense, Y/n pulled her hand back and pointed down the hall. “Ya know what? I’m suddenly overtaken by a hunger that only Jackie and a coffee can fix.”

“You’re going to ask her for advice, aren’t you?” The actor called after her, since she retreated quickly.

“You don’t know my life!” Y/n pulled out her cellular device and opened a text as she briskly escaped the scene.

Y/n: Pree, Nat, if I perish from unsettled “romantic” sticky-situations before you get here, please feed my cat.

Nat: Did...did you mean to word it that way?

Pree: I’m sorry if you WHAT????

Y/N: NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT. HOLY BANANAS. I meant like...a situation I don’t necessarily want to be in...but don’t want to not be in. 

Y/N: Ja feel?

Pree: No. Ja totally don’t feel.

Nat: Sweetie, I think you need to use more words.

Y/N: It’s a stupid boy thing about a stupid boy.

Nat: Like how stupid?

Pree: Yeah like my son’s father stupid or like Nat’s husband stupid?

Nat: Excuse me what? I love my husband, even if he is sometimes stupid. Bless his heart.

Y/N: Okay yeah, Nat’s husband stupid.

Pree: O.o

Nat: ?!?!?!?!?!

Y/N: help.

[mystickitten42]

AO3 Tag Game

Thanks so much for the tag @peachpety 😘 I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 27 (+ 2 in fests) 2. What is your total AO3 word count? 134,448 (But if things go according to plan, I’ll be adding another 50-60k to that in 2-3 months). 3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? I’ve only ever published HP (all Drarry, except for one rare pair that’s part of an upcoming non-anon fest). But before I got into Drarry, I experimented with some dystopian Malec (Shadowhunters). 4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Potter’s Ravine (E, 23k)

Harry is undeniably numb. Still reeling from the sudden death of his godfather, he’s back at the Dursleys and everything seems hopeless. One day bleeds into the next. But, as they say, nature abhors a vacuum…

Draco is unimpressed. The Dark Lord and his infernal giant snake have taken over Malfoy Manor and he’s confined to his rooms. He feels like a prisoner and it’s just not right. He’s a Malfoy. Itching for confrontation he decides to go visit Harry Potter.

Things don’t go according to plan.

The Time in Between (E, 42k)

Harry never wanted to be the Chosen One. Draco refused the Dark Mark. Together, they set out to create something new. But can they outrun their destiny?

~ or ~

The one where Harry sets everything on fire, Draco confronts the darkness within, and Narcissa will do anything to keep them safe.

Light up Your Lust (E, 1k)

All it takes is a Cornish Pixie, a spilled potion and everything becomes quite clear.

Malfoy sputters, “That’s ridiculous, Potter. I don’t want to – ”

“Then tell me to stop.”

But the only noise Malfoy makes is a breathy sigh as Harry dives back in and kisses his jaw, plunders his incandescent lips, before he follows the glowing path south…

The Naughty List (E, 2K)

In which Hermione takes Harry to an art class and the model is familiar, blond, and pointy.

Malfoy steps up onto the round platform and casually lets his robe slip to the ground. As he adopts a pose, Harry’s jaw drops. Draco Malfoy is a work of art.

“Close your mouth, Harry,” Hermione whispers, and Harry does.

When Death Comes Calling (T, 2k)

It’s All Hallows’ Eve and as Harry investigates a string of seemingly related deaths, there’s one he hopes to prevent. He looks over Harry’s shoulder and Harry turns too. They both see it, the dark translucent figure making its way to shore.

~ Or ~ Getting together in the face of Death. Literally.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? OMG, I appreciate each and every single comment I receive. When I’m feeling down, I go back and re-read comments. I do try to respond to every one, but sometimes it takes a little while (depending on spoons, life, and writing deadlines). 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I love happy endings, so most of my fics end happily or hopefully. But I have one fic, written for My Bloody Valentine 2021, that does not have a happy ending.  You’re the Only One for Me (M, 1k, MCD, mind the tags)

After all these years, Draco's still the one.

7. Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve every written? I have not written any crossovers... yet. I might. I might not. But I have contemplated Drarry with Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (I’m a big fan, hence the ‘42′ in my pseud), or with Lost Souls (by Poppy Z. Brite, a vampire novel set in New Orleans).

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? I’d have to say any ‘hate’ I’ve received has been minimal (although it thoroughly bummed me out at the time). But I received a lot of support from fellow Drarry authors and took their advice (deleted the comments without responding to them). Many others have received comments far worse than those I received and it makes me sad. 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Ha! You may have noticed 4/5 of my top five are rated E. I love reading and writing smut. I’ve mostly written M/M, but I do have some F/F in the works. I adore porn with feelings, and angsty, angry sex that leads to feelings.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. 11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I never thought I would (I’m too much of a control freak 😂) but I co-wrote two during Exploding Snap 2021, and I had a blast! It was so much fun, amazingly refreshing, and I would totally do it again. The Stars on the Calendar (T, 2k, with @anaxandria-writes)

Harry accepted there were many things he and Draco would always argue about. He just didn’t think sex would ever be one of them.

Midnight Rendezvous (T, 696 words, with @cequonveut)

The Fat Lady gets an eyeful while portrait hopping down the seventh-floor corridor.

12. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Drarry!!!!! But I also love Grudders, Roarmac (thanks Peach!), Jeddy, Scorbus, Charlie Weasley with pretty much anyone, and various poly ships. Outside of HP, I also have a soft spot for Malec and Jimon (Shadowhunters) and Steve/Ghost (Lost Souls). 13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? HP is the only fandom I’ve published in. But as I mentioned above, I have an incomplete Malec burning a hole in my hard drive. Maybe one day I’ll finish it… or maybe I won’t… 14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? As much as I adore writing drabbles and short fics, I really love to become immersed in my longer chaptered fics. All of them are my favourites. I’ve already mentioned my Old Magic series (Potter’s Ravine, The Time in Between, and I’m currently working on the third installment). But my other recent fav is my Wireless fic: Until It All Comes Undone (E, 38k). 

Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0.

But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry.

Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

This idea burned inside me for nearly a year and refused to be silent. Writing this terrified me, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to write it the way I wanted it to be written. Completing this story was an amazing journey and really taught me to believe in myself. (And, of course, I’m eternally grateful to my amazing beta, @peachpety 🥰)

I apologise in advance if I’m double tagging anyone (and, of course, no pressure!) @pennygalleon, @andithiel, @cequonveut, @anaxandria-writes, @eelwinks, @thesleepiesthufflepuff, @evaeleanor