#will red sans be the new enemy in future content?

[spiderdotexe]

i had two UTDR dreams in a row and i think im being haunted by a alternate universe version of these games . anyways it was about a "sans battle fangame" but despite the name it literally had no battles and was not even 2d . it was like a 3d free roam horror game . the only thing i remember at all were the characters which looked like this . quite scary

[theodora3022]

Selfish Deeds (Yandere! Gojou Satoru)

Summary: Satoru just wants you to be free of danger. If you are so knowledgeable why can’t you understand that he only wish the best for you?

A/N: This is just one snippet of many out of a collection(haven't decide the name just yet)...Since I have not read the manga(anime-only for now) so I just got a vague impression of what Gojou has been through, but that does not stop me from writing him like the cocky bastard he is. Hopefully it is not too OOC(as if yandere variant itself is not OOC enough pfttt) The reader is a stubborn psycho because that is what I am :) Will there be some future pieces that involves nsfw elements? I got a few ideas but no promises.

I blame @popi-the-fatui for my Gojou brainrots. You got your revenge on me by making me attracted to this dubious man. Word count: 1.6k

Banner credit

Warnings: Female pronouns, Possessive behaviour, DELUSIONAL behaviour, non-consensual touching, power inbalance, general yandere content, slight mention of confinement and violence(This is not a healthy relationship dynamic!!!), reader is not a soft UWU girl, kthis is so self indulgent *buries myself into the bottomless pit of shame

It has been nearly fifteen minutes since the headquarter disconnected the call, yet you are still staring at your phone screen with disbelief.

You were supposed to travel to another city for a mission tomorrow, they had notified you of this mission a week ago.

You already got your luggage packed, and your theoretical research on the objective is thoroughly done. Then they dare to inform you: they have found a more suitable candidate! Right on the day before your departure too.

Your curse techniques have already limited you to more of a supporting role for most situations. There are not plenty of missions available for you to begin with. While you are content with educating the fresh blood of the community in classrooms the majority of the time, you still long for field actions every once in a while. It is an essential part of being a Jujutsu sorcerer after all.

Both you and the soft-spoken secretary who made the call know this is nonsense. The higher-ups recognize that you are one of, if not the best sorcerers available when it comes to reconnaissance and espionage.

Letting out a sigh of immeasurable frustration, you swore to yourself that you will find out who is the conductor of this humiliating turn of events. This is going to be difficult since you do not recall having any issues with any of the administration staff recently.

There is no reversing this misfortune, but at least you can be aware of who is responsible for such violation of conduct.

He is only doing this to protect you.

Gojou Satoru tells himself as such, at least.

He is aware of how unfair it is, to make someone less capable to take on the job. But he cannot risk your safety. The man has already got used to your company, and he is not willing to just let you disappear from his field of view for more than a week. Sure, you might have not admitted how much you like him yet, but it is just too endearing to see you flustered at his flirtatious words.

Although there have been some difficulties with rescheduling, he managed to use his connections to exclude you from that first-grade mission at last minute. On the bright side, the sorcerer cannot wait to lend you an ear to vent about how conservative and unfair the higher-ups can be. Maybe you will even say yes to a trip to the newest local bakery! You need some sweet treats to cheer yourself up, don’t you?

But Satoru has never thought about how you specialize in putting two and two together. (understandable since he never saw you in action before).

------------------

Strange, you are not near the usual area in the library.

Sensing his footsteps, you opened your office door before Satoru had a chance to knock.

“We need to talk, Gojou-san.” That expression is new. This is the first time he sees you genuinely angry, which is to be expected.

But somehow he got a bad feeling about this.

You did not even invite him to sit down, instead just standing next to the floor window, arm crossed, with your back turned to him.

“Why would you do such a thing?” You have to use up all of your self-control to prevent yourself from having a full blow-up right at Gojou Satoru. Maintain composure. But it is easier said then done.

Does he think this is funny? To sabotage someone else's sorcerer career like this? You knew you should have kept him out of your daily life, as he is nothing but trouble to you. But you made the mistake of choosing to tolerate him, and some superficial part of you might even enjoy his dallying words a bit too much.

To the extent, you overlooked some red flags. This is a grievous error indeed.

Shit, now that he vaguely remembers what role you play on missions.“(y/n)-chan, what are you saying-” He knows you always act in supporting positions, however, he has overlooked your actual abilities and curse techniques. You collect intel and spy on enemies, how could he forget that? “Don’t play dumb with me. You got your ways, I got mine. There is no use denying what you have done. I thought you out of all people would understand what it means to be a sorcerer.”

This is a violation of protocol, changing mission assignments at the last minute. However, you know this man would not be receiving any solid punishment should you decide to report this. They would say there is “no harm done” and you would just receive a pitiful apology. Suppose you cannot blame them though.

They need Gojou Satoru, the Jujutsu community needs his prowess to keep innocent people safe. He will remain in the system no matter what.

Why are you questioning his motives? Does he have to spell it out for you? Letter by letter?

“You are not a skilled combatant, (y/n)-chan. What if you got yourself hurt?” Or even worse, killed. It scares him to think that you could be gone one day, how he would walk by this office corridor and never sees you sitting behind the desk ever again.

Not much in this world could send Gojou Satoru a chill down his spine, yet the thought of you dying is now on the list. He knows how petty this is, you wouldn’t be the one doing the actual exorcising after all. But the if, the slight possibilty.

He cannot allow that to happen, not ever. Even that means angering you and getting yelled at.

“What am I, some normal lawful citizen? I am a sorcerer just like you, Gojou-san. Putting ourselves on the line for innocents is part of the deal.” You let out a few short, sarcastic giggles, narrowing your eyes at him with fury. “It’s funny that you, out of all people, fail to understand that. If I am needed I will do what I must. If this is some sort of sick joke, stop it already, not funny. ”

Blunt, unrelenting stubbornness. Not like that’s news for him, Satoru has lots of experience with that since the day your path crossed. Although he finds this quality to be adorable most of the time, it can pose major problems like the present.

Oh, he is not angry at you. Satoru is more outraged at himself, don’t you worry. On the contrary, he is rather intrigued by your sarcastic remarks! However…

Instead of walking towards where you stood near the window, the man decides to take a turn towards the door.

That flashing panic within your eyes did not escape his sight.

The illusion figure you were projecting near the window dissipated instantly once he got your left wrist in his hand. Concealing yourself and projecting illusions, a rare techique indeed.

“Clever tactic. Making yourself invisible, projecting a faux illusion to distract me, leaving the door open and staying close to the exit. Your curse techniques are impressive. I almost got fooled, job well-done (y/n)-chan.”

The grip on your wrist suddenly tightens, you have to bite your lip to hold back a hiss of pain. How can he still flash that casual, playful smile when committing such atrocity? Those damned cerulean blue eyes too, you are ashamed of how you tremble and (internally) swoon at it at the same time.

Efforts to get away would most likely be futile, but you have to try. “See, you underestimated your opponent. I do see why you are good with lurking in the shadows now. Do you have any idea what I am capable of though?” Such delicate hands, it would be a shame if they were to bruise.

It’s unnerving how easy it looks for him to maintain a solid grip on your wrist while you pull back with all of your might. You know Gojou Satoru is strong and all, but this simple demonstration of strength is devastatingly effective. “Let go of me, you bastard!”

To your surprise, he softens his grip and you finally distanced yourself from him, panting and guarded. “Who are you to decide what I should and what I should not do? I made it crystal clear on the first day that I do not like you for the slightest.”

You know the walls are thin and coworkers might heard you, but you will have to worry about it later. It is, sadly, a matter of fact that you are somehow attracted to him, but that does not give him the right to use it against you. You must not give in to the temptation.

“You are pretty slow on the uptake for someone so smart. I was thinking of doing this naturally, we can go on normal dates to coffee shops, amusement parks, or even the museum if that is what you wish for. But now I see you do not know how much you mean to me.” Do you think Gojou-san is only flirting with you for the fun of it? It might have been the case in the beginning, but that is not the case since...recently.

He did not stop you again when you turned away, giving him one last menacing look and disappeared from his sight, even if he could see the faint trace of your curse energy. You will return to him and apologize after you calm down, he is confident about that. You value your job way too much to quit.

Then he could finally pull you into his arms, saying he does not mind and forgive your childish tantrums. Satoru does not plan to lock you up in a cage or anything(yet)! The students adore you and they need your guidance. Your clan is insignificant compared to his, your influence? Does he even need to consider that?

Gojou Satoru would always achieve his goals by whatever means possible. You are no exception to this.

[averykedavra]

Where You Once Called Home

I wrote this way back after watching season three, and I figured it wasn't too far left of canon now, if it fits between Carmen leaving and the final scene. So here, have lesbians. We all need lesbians in our lives.

(Title from Home by Vicetone! This fic is on Ao3 here.)

Pairings: Pre-romantic Carulia

Words: 1068

Warnings: a bit of anxiety

The apartment didn’t belong to Carmen, of course. It was registered to an eccentric older woman by the name of Scarlet San Jose. But her niece often stopped by to tidy up her things, and Carmen had already befriended the doorman, so no one ever asked more than how she was doing. It was a beautiful place, if small, on the outskirts of Veracruz, Mexico. A good opportunity for Carmen to brush up on her Spanish. A good opportunity for--meeting people.

With her clothes packed in the closet, her coat hung by the door, and a row of nesting dolls on the shelf--well, it didn’t feel like home just yet. It felt a bit like she was in enemy territory. That someone would burst through the door at any moment, that the doorman was a VILE operative, that--

Carmen let out a breath.

She wasn’t undercover here. She was relaxing after a long day.

A long year, in fact. Several very long years.

And it didn’t feel like home, but maybe it would, eventually. When she stopped listening for a knock on the door.

Knock.

Carmen almost dropped the final nesting doll. Quickly, she placed it in line with the others and walked towards the door. She reached up to ask Player who it was, paused, and put her hand back down.

When she opened the door, she was greeted with a burst of red flowers.

“Excuse me!” squeaked the flowers. Petals parted, and Julia’s face peeked out between them. “Pardon, but is this the residence of--”

“Jules!” Carmen said, smiling. “You came to visit! How’d you find me?”

“I asked around,” Julia said, struggling with the flowers. After a moment, Carmon took pity on her and gave her more room. Julia stepped into the apartment and continued to wrestle with the flowers until they sunk back into something resembling a coherent group. She looked down at them, up at Carmen, and held them out.

“For me?” Carmen asked.

“Yes!” Julia continued to hold them out awkwardly, until Carmen took the flowers with a smile. “Er, as congratulations. For taking down VILE.”

“You deserve a good amount of the credit,” Carmen said. “I couldn’t have done anything without your information and support--”

“I hardly covered the leaping onto buildings aspect,” Julia pointed out.

“Still.” Carmen looked down at the flowers and smiled wider. “I’m flattered.”

“You did an incredible job,” Julia said. “I know I’m not the first person, or the last, to say so, but--” Julia looked up. “Thank you. I only wish I could have helped sooner, if I’d known the entire picture--”

“You gave me a shot before anyone did!” Carmen laughed. “Jules, thank you.”

“Oh.” Julia nodded a bit, and Carmen didn’t need to look closely to spot her blush. “I--that is appreciated.”

“You’re welcome,” Carmen said. “Besides, you took such time to compile this--massive group of flowers.”

“It was merely at the nearest shop,” Julia protested. “It was hardly any trouble.”

“Did you buy out the entire shop?” Carmen teased, shifting the pile of flowers. “Besides, you took such a risk, consorting with the enemy.”

“You aren’t the enemy!” Julia said. “Certainly not now. We’re no longer on opposite sides.”

“Fair.”

“Besides,” Julia added, glancing away. “I don’t believe we ever were on opposite sides. Not entirely.”

Carmen watched her for a second, still smiling. She had the feeling she wouldn’t be able to stop if she tried.

“Er, you should put those in water,” Julia said hurriedly. “The flowers, I mean.”

“Oh! You’re right.” Carmen looked around for a vase and found nothing. She kicked a trash can onto the counter, quickly filled it with water, and arranged the flowers inside it. It wasn’t exactly elegant, but it would do the job. “There we are.”

“Creative,” Julia said.

“You know it, Jules.” Carmen adjusted a flower. “I’ll buy a real vase later. I’ve been meaning to find some more furniture anyway.”

“It looks lovely so far,” Julia said, looking around the apartment. “Rather large for one person, though.”

“Really?” Carmen frowned. “I thought it was small. I suppose I don’t know too much about apartments.”

“Regardless, it seems like a good place for you.” Julia offered Carmen a small smile. “I’m happy you’re able to--settle down.”

“Hardly,” Carmen teased. “I don’t think I could if I tried. But I’m certainly done with daily capers.”

“I’m glad.” Julia’s voice was surprisingly sincere. “You deserve to relax, just as all of us do.”

“Aw, you’re such a sweetie, Jules!” Carmen grinned. “So, where are you headed after this? I’m sure you’ve got bigger and better things to worry about--a promotion, perhaps? For catching the notorious Carmen Sandiego?”

“Oh.” Julia’s smile faded. “I--I suppose so, yes.”

“No need to bother with me?”

“No reason to,” Julia agreed, her voice growing even quieter. “I suppose you’re right.”

A car rushing beneath the window was the only sound for several seconds.

Julia was moving forward. So was Carmen. They were settling down, settling in, and finding a new future. Carmen could relax. If she deserved a break, so did Julia.

Carmen looked over at the nesting dolls, lined up on their shelf.

Moving forward didn’t mean leaving everything behind.

“You know,” Carmen said slowly, a smile growing again, “I heard that Carmen Sandiego might make an appearance at a gala next week. Tokyo.”

“Oh?” Julia asked. “You’re not a criminal anymore--”

“Can you be sure?” Carmen waved a hand. “Perhaps this was all part of her plot. Perhaps she’ll return to a life of crime and robbery. The gala is very exclusive--it might be best if you kept a close eye on her. For security purposes.” Carmen smiled. “You never know what she might get up to.”

“Oh,” Julia said. “Oh,” she said again.

“So,” Carmen said, pulling a rose from the bouquet and holding it out. “Would you care to join me?”

Julia looked down at it, and back up.

And she smiled--the small smile that Carmen could only see if she knew where to look. But she’d always been good at noticing things.

Maybe she could be good at other things, too.

“Yes,” Julia said, taking the rose. “I’d love to.”

Maybe this wasn’t home yet. But it could be.

It could be so many things, and Carmen couldn’t wait to see them.

“Great,” Carmen said, smiling more than she ever had. “So would I.”

(No taglist because this isn’t tss, but if anyone wants to be tagged in CS content/wants to see more, let me know!)

[bbykpoper]

𝓔𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 🍇

Inspired by this post 🌼

Pairing: ceo!san x sommelier!reader

Warning: sexual content in the story, read at your own discretion!

Index: Jongho // Hongjoong // Seonghwa // Yunho // Wooyoung // Mingi // Yeosang

･*:༅

"They’re sending in a sommelier from Italy!” The black-haired woman walked beside her boss, her heels clacking loudly on the tiled floor. “They said she’d be arriving today.”

The man stopped in his tracks, his sharp gaze looking back at his assistant. Her beige pencil skirt hugged her lower body perfectly, but today Choi San, head of the most renowned winery of South Korea, wasn’t having any of it. Their plans were simple for this season with the launch of their newest product, Elder Blow Wine, a wine made solely of elderberries and the first fruit wine in their winery. 

“They’re sending a woman to degust our wine?” He asked. “Miss Ahn, I am not in the mood for jokes today.”

“Yes. She’s the most famous sommelier in the world!” His assistant spoke glancing around his frame at the approaching figure. “They say she can either ruin ones business or make it strike gold.”

“And what is her name?” San was grumpy and not having any of this today.

They were so close to making so much profit but the Italian branch decided to send in a sommelier who would evaluate their progress. Not only on their new wine, but all the products they had lined up until now. Choi San was a prideful man who considered himself an expert on wines, there was not one person who was better than him at this field (unless you take into consideration his mortal enemy and crush who had been breed solely for the purpose to achieve glory in this business) and he really didn’t need some girl coming in to tell him her unnecessary opinion.

“y/l/n y/n.” The voice struck him by surprise as he turned to face the woman he hasn’t seen for more than 5 years. “Close your mouth Choi, it’s rude to stare a lady down with your tongue hanging out like a dog.”

San’s assistant held back a laugh as she quickly composed herself and went around him to politely bow to you in greeting, which you returned with equal respect.

“Welcome Miss y/l/n.” She smiled. “I’m assistant Ahn, I’ll be helping you with the schedule for the tasting this weekend.”

“Oh please just call me y/n.” You waved your hand, the action moving your suit jacket up a bit revealing some skin around your waist. “I’d like to know your name as well if you don’t mind.”

“Hyejin.” She answered you.

“Well Hyejin, I look forward to this weekend spent with you.” Your eyes moved towards the still shocked man and a smirk graced your dark red lips. “You haven’t changed one bit Choi.”

“And you’ve changed a lot.” Was the only thing he could mutter through his shock.

You stood there in your white suit, a black velvet shirt covering your chest and adding contrast to the outfit. The simple pearl necklace brought his eyes to admire your collar bones while your red lips had him weak in the knees.

Why did you have to show up from all the people on this planet?

“Sir, shall we?” Hyejin asked bringing him out of his trance. “We are due to show the windery to Miss y/n.”

With a curt nod and an amused expression on your side, the three of you made your way to the car which was parked outside waiting for you.

･*:༅

The view from this winery was breathtaking as you sat outside an marvelled at the fields of grapes in front of you. The sun was slowly setting as two glasses of rich red wine were placed on the table in front of you. You glanced up at the man as he took a seat, eyes also tracing the clouds in the distance. You took hold of the wine glass and sniffed it slightly closing your eyes at the rich aroma of grapes. You swirlled the red substance in your glass and took a small sip, letting it barely touch your tongue. 

“Interesting, this wine seems to have a strong flavor of alcohol.” You spoke. “Quite a dangerous aspect of you to try.”

“Some of our customers like to have a strong drink here and there.” San shrugged his shoulders, he watched your movements closely and was entranced with your delicate movements. “You’ve been gone for a long time y/n. I’m surprised that you even came back here.”

“I didn’t want to.” You were now facing him. “I enjoy my job of travelling the world and dinning in fine restaurants, enjoying a glass or bottle of their finest wine. But the CEO of the Italian branch insisted I go, I already know the language and have practically spent my childhood here.” You sat back crossing your arms over your chest. “Added I wanted to see you too.”

“You know I was surprised to hear how well you’ve climbed the ladder. Good job making CEO Choi.” You smiled at him mockingly.

“I thought you were going to make CEO too.” He said now with raised eyebrows. “Your family practically started this business. You guys are quite famous.”

“True.” You looked down at your glass in hand. “I was offered the position, but I refused it.” You made a little whirpool in the glass. “I decided to be a sommelier instead. I came to an agreement with my parents that my future husband will take over the business.” You finished the alcohol in your glass bringing your eyes up to meet his. “They already have a colourfull sort lined up for me.”

“Must be rough.” He commented with a tight lip.

“So, have you shagged your assistant yet?” You asked boldly making him choke on his wine.

“For your information, I don’t have to tell you shit.” He stated.

“So you have.” You laughed. “How many times?”

His face dead-panned into a not amused one. You raised your hands in surrender your laugh echoing around him.

“I’m just teasing.” The giggle on your lips had him on edge. “We’re just old frenemies talking, it’s not like you like me or something so I can’t know these things.” 

You stood up from the table and stepped away, ready to leave. But his hand caught your arm and you raised your eyebrow at him. 

“At least take me to dinner first.” You joked.

“I never said I didn’t like you.” He stood up along with you, bringing his whole body close to yours, breath mixing with yours. “You’ve always annoyed me but in a good way.” He brought his face close to yours. “A way I like.”

“I would have expected this from anybody but you San.” You said with a smirk, fighting off his grip in a way that he was now in yours. “Trying to seduce me so your winery could blossom gold Choi?” The way you twisted his arm had him grunt in surprise and pain. “You’re despicable.”

As you pushed him away anger coated your delicate face and he panicked seeing this reaction.

“I’m not trying to seduce you for that. I’m serious about this!”

“Sure you are!” You yelled back at him. “Try it with your assistant if you haven’t already! I’m not dumb Choi.” The fierce gaze you held with him evolved into something you couldn’t decipher in his. “Jesus, you’re disgusting.”

And with that you left. 

San watched in pain as you stormed off and kicked the chair over in frustration. Why did he do that? Of course it would come off as if he’s doing this to get good reviews! Why couldn’t he just keep silent and not move.

He leaned on the table and sighed.

･*:༅

The next day you decided to go down to the caffe which you knew was owned by one of your old friends. It was a cute set up which you would expect from your friend’s imaculate taste in design, with a large sign that read Sugarberry’s up front. You walked inside and noticed it was quite lively and bustling with people. You walked up to the counter and smiled at the young girl working behind itm just as she did to you.

“Hi, welcome to Sugarberry’s.” Her chirpiness reminded you of Mingi. “What can I get you?”

“Hi, is Mingi in?” You asked her.

“The boss?” She questioned as you nodded. “Sure is, he never leaves this place.” She giggled aloud and went back, coming out along with the tall man in tow. “Here he is.”

“Oh my gosh!” He squealed coming over to hug you. “I’ve missed you so much y/n. When did you land? What are you doing here? Do you want something to drink?”

“Easy there Mingles.” The laugh he gave you was contagious. “I’d appreciate a cup of coffee.” He motioned for the girl you talked to to make it. “Let’s have a chat. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

You guys took a seat outside and chatted along catching up with each others life and whatnot. You even told him why you’re here and how long you were staying in between your conversation. Also adding the San incident from last night.

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know he liked you.” He scratched the back of his neck. “But, I’d also be lying if I said he didn’t do the occasional hook-up here and there.” He sighed. “I can tell you this one thing though. He’d never try to have sex with you just so he could up his winery.”

“But then why did he come on to me so strong?” You asked confused.

“Maybe he just doesn’t know how to act differently?” The girl who you learned worked here as a waitress spoke up as she brought over some cakes. “Sannie is an interesting character. He always comes off as untouchable and brooding, but I’ve learned his a softie. He always talks about his arch nemesis in a way that brings one to laugh how much in love he is with her.” She giggled. “And now I see why. You’re intimidatingly beautiful.”

“I love the fact he considers me his nemesis.” You sighed with a small pout.

“Maybe you should go over and talk with him. Let him explain and then make your assumptions.” She shrugged her shoulders and left back inside.

“Does your staff always give advice to customers when they have love life troubles?” You looked at Mingi with amusement.

“No.” He answered and looked after the waitress. “But she does.”

“She seems lovely Mingi.” 

“Yeah, she does.” 

Your friend had the serious case of heart eyes for his waitress.

･*:༅

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when Hyejin directed the car towards a high-end appartment complex instead of the winery. You exited the car and walked up to the entrance along with her, but were left alone to enter the elevator and make your way to the penthouse. All the while you stood back and thought about the fact that this was surely one of San’s doings. If you remembered correctly this building is owned by his mother and he did live here.

The elevator dinged and you stepped off, impressed with the view of the city spread out in front of you. You walked up to the glass and sighed. You loved Seoul, but ever since you moved to Italy you enjoyed the fields of Toscana more. 

The soft arm around your waist startled you but you calmed sown when you saw San’s reflection above yours. 

“What is the meaning of this?” You calmly asked.

“I brought you here to enjoy dinner with me. Along with one of my winery’s best wines.” He said, guiding you by the small of your back towards a table which was set up nicely with food already prepared. “Consider this to be my apology for last night.”

“Well I did say take me out to dinner first.” You sighed as you accepted his gentlemanly manor of pulling out your seat. “So what kind of wine are we drinking today?” You could guess by the meat served before you but you wanted to see to which heights he was ready to go.

“Pinot Noir. If I remember correctly it’s one of your favorites.” He expertly opened the bottle and poured you a glass.

“Impressive.” You nodded your head. “Maybe Mingi was right.”

“What?” He blinked quickly in fear.

“Maybe you really do like me.” You smirked raising your glass to him.

“I will kill him.” He whispered out.

“Hey, maybe you should consider what’s happening right now and here than attacking him.” You snorted. “You’d be surprised just how much he tried to justify your actions.” You looked at him dead in the eye. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him and his waitress friend.”

The night continued on as you two talked more about life, wine making, business and stupid shit you used to do in college. You could say that yes, you were finally enjoying yourself with him. 

You both moved now to the living room, finishing the bottle of wine.

“Why do you consider me your arch nemesis?” You suddenly asked out of curiousity.

“Because you’re better than me.” San answered avoiding your gaze. “You got better grades in college than me. You made friends easily, even with the unapproachable me. You were never afraid to say what’s on your mind and you always stayed true to yourself.” He sighed. “I was envious of you.”

“I don’t really see why.” You glanced at him. “I don’t exactly have the best life. My parents brought me up to be their business protege. I never had rights, not even now when I’m at the age of finding a man and marrying him.” You laughed out loud remembering the stack of papers which were potential marriage partners being thrown on your table. “Gosh, I’m more pitiful than envy worthy.”

“I guess we’re both pitiful.” He laughed along with you.

“Did you mean it?” 

“Did I mean what?” He finally looked at you.

“That you want me?”

He looked at you in silence for a few minutes. He moved slowly up towards you, wary of any type of reaction you may give him. He was so close to your face that you felt the taste of wine on his lips, but you two haven’t even touched.

“What do you think?” He whispered out softly.

“Oh, just kiss me already.”

He smirked and did so. The kiss deep, rich and flavored. His hand strayed up your thigh and you sighed, electricity coursing through your body.

“Let’s move this to the bedroom.” He whispered out against your lips and pulled you towards him, hooking your legs around him and placing his hands on your ass so he can carry you more easily.

Your feet had lost the heels a long time ago and the bare skin felt the soft carpet of his bedroom. San’s hand slowly ghosted over your back as he started to unzip your dress, leaving a trail of kisses on your bare skin.

“I have a confession to make.” He said, his lips nipping at your jaw. “You looked so good in this dress I felt sorry to rip it.”

“Thank god you didn’t.” You smirked, ripping his shirt open not minding his shock. “It’s designer.”

“So is my shirt.” He argued back as you shrugged your shoulders.

He eyed you up and down, practically drooling at the sight infront of him. A finger slipped underneath the elastic of your panties, pulling it from your skin before letting go as it snapped back to your skin. He was stating that you were wearing too much and he was really not patient. He lost his pants in the process of pushing you on his bed, the top half of his body covering yours, his covered erection pressed against your heat. He kissed you harder and began rocking his hard length against your needy clit which made you moan into his ear.

He was kissing your breasts and freed them from their restraints. Only then did he wrap his warm mouth around one of your now hardened nipples which made you arch your back in pleasure. A moan came out as you felt a finger slowly swirling around your clit, your arms coming to wrap around San’s shoulders. Letting out a short hum and observing your reaction, his finger stopped its movements then slid toward your entrance, slipping in slowly.

San’s mouth sucked and teased one of your breasts, while his hand did wonders with your lower lips. It wasn’t long before you were shaking violently underneath him.

“I think it’s fair if I return the favour.” You snickered at his confused look before positioning him to stand.

You were on your knees, half of his cock in your left hand, the other half in your mouth. Every now and then, you’d come up and suck on his tip for a bit, which made San groan like crazy. His hand was on the back of your head guiding you as he shamelessly used your mouth. The sudden harsh pull to your hair popped his dick out your mouth and he had to use all his strenght to pull you up and kiss you like his life depended on it.

“I see that mouth is good for more than just wine tasting.” He chuckled.

“You’d be surprised.”

He took out a condom from the nightstand and rolled it gently onto himself as he positioned you onto all fours, ass in the air and pussy ready. “Oh fuck.” He rubbed his erection against you. “You’re so wet for me little one, are you ready?”

“Is this a daddy kink I’m hearing?” You teased and were rewarded with a slap to your ass. “Oh boy am I ready, daddy.”   

Without warning his huge cock rammed into your core, the porniest moan leaving your mouth and shaking San to the core. If he didn’t have so much control over himself he’d cum then and there on the spot. The skin was slapping against each other, one of San’s hands gripped your hair, arching your head back, your eyes beginning to roll back, your pussy fluttering around his cock.

“San I am so close.” Suddenly his thrusts got faster, his hand going over to your swollen clit, applying preasure to the sensitive nerve bundle.

“Hold on a little while longer little one.” He was chasing his own release, wanting to cum at the same time as you. After three more harsh thrusts he whispered in your ear. “Cum.” 

And cum you did, biting into the pillow, screaming into it, this was one of the most powerful orgasms you ever had. You didn’t hear San’s deep moans as he released himself into you, didn’t notice him pulling out, nor throwing away the well filled condom.

He carried you towards the bathroom, desperate for a shower. A supposedly quick shower turned into making out underneath the warm water for thirty minutes and two more rounds of electrifying sex which had you exhausted.

The weekend ahead was going to be pretty eventful.

･*:༅

“A 4.5 rating.” San spoke as he took a seat next to you on your private jet. “Not bad, I was expecting lower so this is quite the surprise for me.”

“The only surprise is the fact that your on my plane, while it’s in the air and heading for Italy.” You said shocked at his appearance.

“Yeah well, my father called me telling me I had business to take care of in Italy, so I figured I’d save some time and money by tagging along.” He took your wine glass, taking a sip out of it. “Something about marrying the y/l/n’s daughter and becoming top boss.”

“News travel fast I see.” You smirked at him.

“Especially when it’s a marriage arranged and practically in the workings.” He smirked back. “I’m just glad I won’t have to use a condom anymore. The lady at the pharmacy gave me weird looks when I went to buy some more the last time.”

“Maybe because we use up a pack of 12 faster than rabbits?” You shrugged your shoulders at him. “Are you really okay with this?”

“If I wasn’t I wouldn’t have told my dad to go forward with the arranging.” 

“So I guess we’re going to be husband and wife then.” You smiled at him, your rep lips stained with wine.

“I guess we will little one.” He smiled back, hand interwining with yours.

“But really, did you fuck your assistant?”

[collegeburnoutsuperstar]

2021 Book Recommendations

Way back in March 2020, at the very start of quarantine I did a little quarantine-read book rec list. We are now in 2021 and we are still in quarantine, so here’s an updated book rec post to help you through a socially distanced winter break and holiday season.

Non-Fiction:

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name | Audre Lorde | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | Zami provides a detailed look into Lorde’s life growing up in the 30s, 40s, and 50s as a young, poor, lesbian, black woman. Discussion focuses primarily on racism, poverty, and sexuality. | Trigger/Content Warnings: rape, suicide\suicide attempts, death, racism, abortion, mentions of cancer, mentions of abuse, sex.

Redefining Realness | Janet Mock | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | “This powerful memoir follows Mock’s quest for identity, from an early, unwavering conviction about her gender to a turbulent adolescence in Honolulu that saw her transitioning during the tender years of high school, self-medicating with hormones at fifteen, and flying across the world alone for sex reassignment surgery at just eighteen. With unflinching honesty, Mock uses her own experiences to impart vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of trans youth and brave girls like herself” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: underage prostitution, transphobia, bullying.

An Autobiography | Angela Y. Davis | Adult | Memoir | A story of racism, discrimination, imprisonment, and Communism; “the author, a political activist, reflects upon the people and incidents that have influenced her life and commitment to global liberation of the oppressed” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: racism, murder, violence, police brutality.

Before Night Falls | Reinaldo Arenas | Adult | Memoir | LGBTQ | “Cuban writer Reinaldo Arenas describes his poverty-stricken childhood in rural Cuba, his adolescence as a rebel fighting for Fidel Castro, and his life in revolutionary Cuba as a homosexual. Very quickly, the Castro government suppressed his writing and persecuted him for his homosexuality until he was final imprisoned” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: underage sexual experiences with other minors, statutory rape, bestiality, incest, graphic descriptions of sex, suicide attempts, mentions of suicide, mentions of AIDs, homophobia.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings | Maya Angelou | Adult | “Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local ‘powhitetrash’. At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age-- and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Year later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned” (Goodreads).

Notes of a Native Son | James Baldwin | Adult | Essay Collection | “Written during the 1940s, when Baldwin was only in his twenties, the essays collected in Notes of a Native Son capture a view of black life and black thought at the dawn of the Civil Rights movement and as the movement slowly gained strength through the words of one of the most captivating essayists and foremost intellectuals of that era. Writing as an artist, activist, and social critic, Baldwin probes the complex condition of being black in America. With a keen eye, he examines everything from the significance of the protest novel to the motives and circumstances of the many black expatriates of the time” (Amazon).

Contemporary Fiction: 

Alex in Wonderland | Simon James Green | Young Adult | Romance | LGBTQ | “ In the town of Newsands, painfully shy Alex is abandoned by his two best friends for the summer. But he unexpectedly lands a part-time job at Wonderland, a run-down amusement arcade on the seafront, where he gets to know the other teen misfits who work there. Alex starts to come out of his shell, and even starts to develop feelings for co-worker Ben... who, as Alex's bad luck would have it, has a girlfriend. Then as debtors close in on Wonderland and mysterious, threatening notes start to appear, Alex and his new friends take it on themselves to save their declining employer. But, like everything in Wonderland, nothing is quite what it seems” (Goodreads). 

Red, White & Royal Blue | Casey McQuiston | New Adult | Romance | LGBTQ | First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz, son of United States President Ellen Claremont, finds himself back in the public eye after a confrontation with his nemesis, His Royal Highness Prince Henry, at a royal wedding. The only way to save American/British relations from crumbling: Create a fake friendship between Alex and Henry. But what happens when this fake friendship becomes something more? How will these two young men go down in history?

Fifty Shames of Earl Gray | Fanny Merkin | Adult | Parody/Humor | Very Heterosexual | “ Young, arrogant, tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: the is a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey...

Historical Fiction:

Water Music | T. Coraghessan Boyle | Adult | Adventure | “Set in the late eighteenth century, Water Music follows the wild adventures of Ned Rise, thief and whoremaster, and Mungo Park, a Scottish explorer, through London’s seamy gutters and Scotland’s scenic highlands to their grand meeting in the heart of darkest Africa. There they join forces and wend their hilarious way to the source of the Niger” (Goodreads).

The Island of the Day Before | Umberto Eco | Adult | Italian Literature | “After a violent storm in the South Pacific in the year 1643, Roberto della Griva finds himself shipwrecked-on a ship. Swept from the Amaryllis, he has managed to pull himself aboard the Daphne, anchored in the bay of a beautiful island. The ship is fully provisioned, he discovers, but the crew is missing. As Roberto explores the different cabinets in the hold, he remembers chapters from his youth: Ferrante, his imaginary evil brother; the siege of Casale, that meaningless chess move in the Thirty Years' War in which he lost his father and his illusions; and the lessons given him on Reasons of State, fencing, the writing of love letters, and blasphemy. In this fascinating, lyrical tale, Umberto Eco tells of a young dreamer searching for love and meaning; and of a most amazing old Jesuit who, with his clocks and maps, has plumbed the secrets of longitudes, the four moons of Jupiter, and the Flood” (Goodreads).

Brethren [Raised by Wolves series 1] | W. A. Hoffman | Adult | Adventure/Buccaneers | LGBTQ | “John Williams, the Viscount of Marsdale, libertine, duelist, dilettante, haphazard philanthropist and philosopher, is asked by his estranged father to start a plantation in Jamaica in 1667. He doesn’t realize that he is going to the right island for the wrong reasons until he meets buccaneers and learns he has for more in common with the wild Brethren of the Coast than he does with the nobility of Christendom. Still, he questions joining them and leaving his title and the plantation behind until her meets Gaston the Ghoul, a mysterious French buccaneer who is purportedly mad. He quickly decides that the freedom of buccaneer life [...] [is] better than anything he could ever inherit” (Goodreads). Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, mentions of rape, mentions of death, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, mentions of incest, slavery, discussions of mental illness at a time when it is not really understood, descriptions of sex, alcohol use.

Captive Prince [The Captive Prince Trilogy 1] | C. S. Pacat | Adult | Historical-inspired  Fiction | LGBTQ [more in later books] | Prince Damianos of Akielos finds himself captured and stripped of his true identity when someone close to the Prince makes a move for the throne. Part of the plot: ship the captured Prince to the enemy nation of Vere as a pleasure slave. In Vere, Damianos takes on a new identity, or else he would immediately be put to death by his new master, the Prince of Vere. Damianos quickly discovers that his capture and enslavement is not just an isolated incident, but is in fact part of a much larger plot that will drastically change the futures of both Akielos and Vere. | Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, torture, slavery/pleasure slaves [partially set within a culture that uses slaves], death, pedophilia, mentions of rape, descriptions of sex, suicide [in the second book]. DISCLAIMER: This trilogy has an enemies-to-lovers subplot, but it is in no way romanticizing slavery, rape, or violence. The romance subplot does not start until the characters undergo massive amounts of character growth and development.

11/22/63 | Stephen King | Adult | Time Travel | Thriller | Jake Epping, a thirty-five year old high school teacher English teacher and GED teacher from Maine embarks on a world-changing mission after a trip to the storeroom of his friend Al’s diner. Within the storeroom, Al has been hiding a secret, a secret that is objectively better than anything else that could’ve been hidden in a diner storeroom. Al has a portal to 1958. The mission: try to stop the Kennedy Assassination. Just remember, the current timeline may just be the best one. | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, racism, domestic abuse, political assassination.

Adult Science Fiction & Fantasy:

The Rage of Dragons | Evan Winter | High Fantasy | “The Omehi people have been fighting an unwinnable fight for almost two hundred years. Their society has been billt around war and only war. The lucky ones are born gifted. One in every two thousand women has the power to call down dragons. One in every hundred men is able to magically transform himself into a bigger, stronger, faster killing machine. Everyone else is fodder, destined to fight and die in the endless war. Young, gift-less Tau knows all this, but he has a plan of escape. He is going to get himself injured, get out early, and settle down to marriage, children, and land. Only, he doesn’t get the chance. Those closest to him are brutally murdered and his grief swiftly turns to anger. Fixated on revenge, Tau dedicates himself to an unthinkable path. He’ll become the greatest swordsman to ever live, a man willing to die a hundred thousand times for the chance to kill the three who betrayed him” (Goodreads).

The Binding | Bridget Collins | Historical Fantasy | LGBTQ | While suffering from a mysterious illness, Emmett Farmer is sent away from his family to apprentice at a bookbinder’s workshop. But Emmett has been taught to hate books his whole life, they are dangerous and shameful. But under the instruction of the book binder, Emmett learns the secrets that books hold and uncovers a past that he didn’t even know he had. | Trigger/Content Warnings: homophobia, death, suicide, allusions to rape.

The House in the Cerulean Sea | T.J. Klune | Suitable for all ages | Urban Fantasy | LGBTQ | Don’t you wish you were here? Forty year old Linus Baker lives a lonesome, drear life. For seventeen years, Mr. Baker has worked as a case worker at the Department In Charge Of Magical Youth where he monitors the treatment of magical children in government-sanctioned orphanages. In a break from his usual routine, Mr. Baker is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management and is assigned a highly classified and possibly dangerous case. He is sent to the Marsyas Island Orphanage where he meets the six dangerous children; a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, a green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist, along with their caretaker Arthur Parnassus. At the the end of his stay, Mr. Baker must make a decision: Should he follow the rules, or protect a family? 

Wolfsong [The Green Creak Series 1] | T.J. Klune | Paranormal/Shifter Romance | LGBTQ | “Ox was twelve when his daddy taught him a very valuable lesson. He said that Ox wasn’t worth anything and people would never understand him. Then he left. Ox was sixteen when he met a boy on the road, the boy who talked and talked and talked. Ox found out later the boy hadn’t spoken in almost two years before that day, and that the boy belonged to a family who had moved into the house at the end of the lane. Ox was seventeen when he found out they boy’s secret, and it painted the world around him in colors of red  and orange and violet, of Alpha and Beta and Omega. Ox was twenty-three when murder can to town and tore a hole in his head and heart. The boy chased after the monster with revenge in his bloodred eyes, leaving Ox behind to pick up the pieces. It’s been three years since that fateful day-- and the boy is back. Except now he’s a man, and Ox can no longer ignore the song that howls between them” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, death, age-gap romance.

The City of Dreaming Books | Walter Moers | German Fantasy | Absurd Fantasy | “Optimus Yarnspinner, a young writer, inherits from his beloved godfather an unpublished short story by an unknown author. His search for the author’s identity takes him to Bookholm-- the so-called City of Dreaming Books. On entering its streets, our hero feels as if he opened the door of a gigantic second-hand bookshop. His nostrils are assailed by clouds of book dust, the stimulating sent of ancient leather, and the tang of printer’s ink. Soon, though, Yarnspinner falls into the clutches of the city’s evil genius, Pfistomel Smyke, who treacherously maroons him in the labyrinthine catacombs underneath the city, where reading books can be genuinely dangerous” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, largely takes place in underground tunnels, illustrations can be unsettling.

Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings | The Harvard Lampoon, Henry N. Beard, Douglas C. Kenney | NOT AT ALL FOR CHILDREN | Parody/Humor | Adventure | “A quest, a war, a ring that would be grounds for calling any wedding off, a king without a kingdom, and a little, furry ‘hero’ named Frito, ready-- or maybe just forced by the wizard Goodgulf-- to undertake the one mission which can save Lower Middle Earth from enslavement by the evil Sorhed. Luscious Elfmaidens, a roller-skating dragon, ugly plants that can soul-kiss the unwary to death-- these are just some of the ingredients in the wildest, wackiest, most irreverent excursion into fantasy realms that anyone has ever dared to undertake” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: drug/alcohol use.

Dune | Frank Herbert | Science Fiction/Science Fantasy | “Set on the desert planet Arrakis, Dune is the story of the boy Paul Atreides, heir to a noble family tasked with ruling an inhospitable world where the only thing of value is the ‘spice’ melange, a drug capable of extending life and enhancing consciousness. Coveted across the known universe, melange is a prize worth killing for. When house Atreides is betrayed, the destruction of Paul’s family will set the boy on a journey toward a destiny greater than he could ever have imagined” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, drug use.

The Magicians [The Magicians Trilogy 1] | Lev Grossman | Urban/Portal Fantasy | “Quentin Coldwater is brilliant but miserable. A senior in high school, he’s still secretly preoccupied with a series of fantasy novels he read as a child, set in a magical land called Fillory. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself unexpectedly admitted to a very secret, very exclusive college of magic in upstate New York, where he receives a thorough and rigorous education in the craft of modern sorcery. He also discovers all the other things people learn in college: friendship, love, sex, booze, and boredom. Something is missing, though. Magic doesn’t bring Quentin the happiness and adventure he dreamed it would. After graduation he and his friends make a stunning discovery: Fillory is real. But the land of Quentin’s fantasies turns out to be much darker and more dangerous than he could have imagined. His childhood dream becomes a nightmare with a shocking truth at its heart” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: drug/alcohol abuse, depression, death, rape [in book 2].

Mo Dao Zu Shi | Mo Xiang Tong Xiu | Wuxia/Chinese Fantasy | LGBTQ | “As the grandmaster who founded demonic cultivation, Wei WuXian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his dearest shidi and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him. He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clan and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the sects-- Lan WanJi, his archenemy. This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children[...] Along the way, Wei WuXian slowly realizes that Lan WanJi, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei WuXian than he is letting on” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: suicide, death, murder, violence, incest, rape (I think), abuse, abusive families.

The Eye of the World [The Wheel of Time series 1] | Robert Jordan | Epic Fantasy | Adventure | “The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and pass. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time. The Wheel of Time Turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hang in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow. When The Two-Rivers is attacked by Trollocs-- a savage tribe of half-men, half-beasts-- five villagers flee that night into a world they barely imagined, with new dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence.

The Lies of Locke Lamora [Gentleman Bastard Series 1] | Scott Lynch | Heist Fantasy | “An Orphan’s life is harsh-- and often short-- in the mysterious island city of Camorr. But young Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game-- or die trying” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, torture.

The Name of the Wind [The Kingkiller Chronicle 1] | Patrick Rothfuss | Epic Fantasy | “My name is Kvothe. I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths my moonlight that others fear to speak of during the day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me” (The Name of the Wind). | Trigger/Content Warnings: death, violence, abuse, book three still doesn’t have a release date.

Trick [Foolish Kingdoms 1] | Natalia Jaster | Fantasy Romance | LGBTQ | “There is only one rule amongst his kind: A jester doesn’t lie. In the Kingdom of Spring, Poet is renowned. He’s young and pretty, a lover of men and women, he performs for the court, kisses like a scoundrel, and mocks with a silver tongue. Yet allow him this: It’s only the most cunning, most manipulative soul who can play the fool. For Poet guards a secret. One the Crown would shackle him for. One that he’ll risk everything to protect. Alas, it will take more than clever words to deceive Princess Briar. Convinced that he’s juggling lies as well as verse, this righteous nuisance of a girl is determined to expose him. But not all falsehoods are fiendish. Poet’s secret is delicate, binding the jester to the princess in an unlikely alliance, and kindling a breathless attraction, as alluring as it is forbidden” (Goodreads).

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? | Philip K. Dick | Science Fiction | “It was January 2021, and Rick Deckard had a license to kill. Somewhere among the hordes of humans out there, lurked several rogue androids. Deckard’s assignment-- find them and then ‘retire’ them. Trouble was, the androids all looked exactly like humans, and they didn’t want to be found out” (Goodreads).

Young Adult Science-Fiction & Fantasy:

Cemetery Boys | Aiden Thomas | Urban Fantasy | Romance | LGBTQ | “Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: transphobia, dead-naming.

In Other Lands | Sarah Rees Brennan | Urban/Portal Fantasy | LGBTQ | “The Borderlands aren’t like anywhere else. Don’t try to smuggle a phone or any other piece of technology over the wall that marks the Border—unless you enjoy a fireworks display in your backpack. (Ballpoint pens are okay.) There are elves, harpies, and—best of all as far as Elliot is concerned—mermaids. Elliot? Who’s Elliot? Elliot is thirteen years old. He’s smart and just a tiny bit obnoxious. Sometimes more than a tiny bit. When his class goes on a field trip and he can see a wall that no one else can see, he is given the chance to go to school in the Borderlands. It turns out that on the other side of the wall, classes involve a lot more weaponry and fitness training and fewer mermaids than he expected. On the other hand, there’s Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle, an elven warrior who is more beautiful than anyone Elliot has ever seen, and then there’s her human friend Luke: sunny, blond, and annoyingly likeable. There are lots of interesting books. There’s even the chance Elliot might be able to change the world” (Goodreads).

The Fascinators | Andrew Eliopulos | Urban Fantasy | LGBTQ | “Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school's magic club—to see him through to graduation. But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs. With so many fault lines threatening to derail his hopes for the year, Sam is forced to face the fact that the very love of magic that brought his group together is now tearing them apart—and there are some problems that no amount of magic can fix” (Goodreads).

Things Not Seen | Andrew Clements | Science Fiction | Realistic Fiction | “Bobby Philips is an average fifteen-year-old boy. Until the morning he wakes up and can’t see himself in the mirror. Not blind, not dreaming. Bobby is just plain invisible. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to Bobby’s new condition; even his dad the physicist can’t figure it out. For Bobby that means no school, no friends, no life. He’s a missing person. Then he meets Alicia. She’s blind, and Bobby can’t resist talking to her, trusting her. But people are starting to wonder where Bobby is. Bobby knows that his invisibility could have dangerous consequences for his family and that time is running out. He has to find out how to be seen again before it’s too late” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: Car accident.

Howl’s Moving Castle [Howl’s Moving Castle series 1] | Diana Wynne Jones | Fantasy | Portal Fantasy | Adventure | “Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl’s castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there’s far more to Howl --and herself-- than first meets the eye” (Goodreads).

Castle in the Air [Howl’s Moving Castle series 2] | Diana Wynne Jones | Fantasy | Adventure | “In which a humble young carpet merchant wins, then loses, the princess of his dreams. Far to the south of the land of Ingary, in the Sultanates of Rashpuht, there lived in the city of Zanzib a young and not very prosperous carpet dealer named Abdullah who loved to spend his time daydreaming. He was content with his life and his daydreams until, one day, a stranger sold him a magic carpet. That very night, the carpet flew him to an enchanted garden. There, he met and fell in love with the beauteous princess Flower-in-the-Night, only to have her snatched away, right under his very nose, by a wicked djinn. With only his magic carpet and his wits to help him, Abdullah sets off to rescue his princess” (Goodreads).

A Wizard of Earthsea [Earthsea Cycle 1] | Ursula K. Le Guin | Fantasy | “Ged, the greatest sorcerer in all Earthsea, was called Sparrowhawk in his reckless youth. Hungry for power and knowledge, Sparrowhawk tampered with long-held secrets and loosed a terrible shadow upon the world. This is the tale of his testing, how he mastered the mighty words of power, tamed an ancient dragon, and crossed death’s threshold to restore the balance” (Goodreads).

Middle-Grade/Children’s Fiction:

Island of the Aunts | Eva Ibbotson | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “When the kindly old aunts decide that they need help caring for creatures who live on their hidden island, they know that adults can’t be trusted. What they need are a few special children who can keep a secret-- a secret as big as a magical island. And what better way to get children who can keep really big secrets, than to kidnap them! (After all, some children just plain need to be kidnapped.)” (Goodreads).

Ruby Holler | Sharon Creech | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | Adventure | “Brother and sister Dallas and Florida are the ‘trouble twins.’ In their short thirteen years, they’ve passed through countless foster homes, only to return to their dreary orphanage, Boxton Creek Home. Run by the Trepids, a greedy and strict couple, Boxton Creek seems impossible to escape. When Mr. Trepid informs the twins that they’ll be helping old Tiller and Sairy Morey go on separate adventures, Dallas and Florida are suspicious. As the twins adjust to the natural beauty of the outdoors, help the Tillers prepare for their adventures, and foil a robbery, their ultimate search for freedom leads them home to Ruby Holler” (Goodreads).

The Westing Game | Ellen Raskin | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | Mystery | “A bizarre chain of events begins when sixteen unlikely people gather for the reading of Samuel W. Westing’s will. And though no one knows why the eccentric, game-loving millionaire has chosen a virtual stranger --and a possible murderer-- to inherit his vast fortune, one thing’s for sure: Sam Westing may be dead... but that won’t stop him for playing one last game!” (Goodreads).

Midnight for Charlie Bone [The Children of the Red King series 1] | Jenny Nimmo | Middle-Grade | Urban Fantasy | “Charlie Bone has a special gift-- he can hear people in photographs talking! The fabulous powers of the Red King were passed down through his descendants, after turning up quite unexpectedly, in someone who had no idea where they came from. This is what happened to Charlie Bone, and to some of the children he met behind the grim, gray walls of Bloor’s Academy. His scheming aunts decide to send him to Bloor’s Academy, a school for geniuses where he uses his gifts to discover the truth despite all the dangers that lie ahead” (Goodreads). | Trigger/Content Warnings: abusive family situations (mental and emotional), bullying, some parts can be creepy/spooky.

The Maze of Bones [The 39 Clues series 1 ] | Rick Riordan (the series is written by several different authors) | Middle-Grade | Mystery | Adventure | Action | “When their beloved aunt --matriarch of the world’s most powerful family-- dies, orphaned siblings Amy and Dan Cahill compete with less honorable Cahill descendants in a race around the world to find cryptic clues to a mysterious fortune” (Goodreads). Trigger/Content Warnings: Death, house fire, dead parents, abusive family.

The Doll People | Ann M. Martin | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “Annabelle Doll is 8 years old --and has been for over 100 years. Nothing much has changed in the dollhouse during that time, except for the fact that 45 years ago, Annabelle’s Auntie Sarah disappeared from the dollhouse without a trace. After all this time, restless Annabelle is becoming more and more curious about her aunt’s fate. And when she discovers Auntie Sarah’s old diary, she becomes positively driven. Her cautious family tries to discourage her, but Annabelle won’t be stopped, even though she risks Permanent Doll State, in which she could turn into a regular, nonliving doll. And when the ‘Real Pink Plastic’ Funcraft family moves in next door, the Doll family’s world is turned upside down --in more ways than one!” (Goodreads). | Content Waring: It’s living dolls, this is off-putting to many people.

Bud, Not Buddy | Christopher Paul Curtis | Middle-Grade | Historical Fiction | Realistic Fiction | “It’s 1936, in Flint Michigan. Times may be hard, and ten-year-old Bud may be a motherless boy on the run, but Bud’s got a few things going for him: He has his own suitcase full of special things. He’s the author of Bud Caldwell’s Rules and Things for Having a Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself. His momma never told him who his father was, but she left a clue: flyers advertising Herman E. Calloway and his famous band, the Dusky Devastators of the Depression!!!!!! Bud’s got an idea that those flyers will lead him to his father. Once he decides to hit the road and find this mystery man, nothing can stop him --not hunger, not fear, not vampires, not even Herman E. Calloway himself” (Goodreads).

The Thief Lord | Cornelia Funke | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | Mystery | “Two orphaned children are on the run, hiding among the crumbling canals and misty alleyways of the city of Venice. Befriended by a gang of street children and their mysterious leader, the Thief Lord, they shelter in an old, disused cinema. On their trail is a bungling detective, obsessed with disguises and the health of his pet tortoises. But a greater threat to the boys’ new-found freedom is something from a forgotten past --a beautiful magical treasure with the power to spin time itself” (Goodreads).

Igraine the Brave | Cornelia Funke | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Adventure | “Igraine dreams of being a famous knight like her great-grandfather, but castle life is boring. Until the nephew of the baroness-next-door plans to capture the castle for their singing spell books. At the moment of the siege, her parents mistakenly turn themselves into pigs. Aided by a Gentle Giant and a sorrowful Knight, Igraine must by brave, and save the day --and the books” (Goodreads).

Valley of the Dinosaurs [Magic Tree House series 1] | Mary Pope Osborne | Children’s Literature | Science Fiction (time travel) | “Eight-year-old Jack and his little sister, Annie, are playing in the woods during their summer holiday, when they find a mysterious tree house full of books. But these are no ordinary books... And this is no ordinary tree house... Jack and Annie get more than they had bargained for when Jack opens a book about dinosaurs and wishes he could see them for real. They end up in prehistoric times with Pteranodons, Triceratops and a huge Tyrannosaurus Rex! How will they get home again? The race is on!” (Goodreads).

Frindle | Andrew Clements | Middle-Grade | Realistic Fiction | “Is Nick Allen a troublemaker? He really just likes to liven things up at school --and he’s always had plenty of great ideas. When Nick learns some interesting information about how words are created, suddenly he’s got the inspiration for his best plan ever...the frindle. Who says a pen has to be called a pen? Why not call it a frindle? Things begin innocently enough as Nick gets his friends to use the new word. Then other people in town start saying frindle. Soon the school is in an uproar, and Nick has become a local hero. His teacher wants Nick to put an end to all this nonsense, but the funny this is frindle doesn’t belong to Nick anymore. The new word is spreading across the country, and there’s nothing Nick can do to stop it” (Goodreads).

Knights of the Kitchen Table [Time Warp Trio series 1] | Jon Scieszka | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Time Travel | “Magician Uncle Joe’s birthday present entitle ‘The Book’ swirls green mist and grants pal Fred’s wish to ‘see knights and all that stuff for real’, sending Sir Joe the Magnificent, Sir Fred the Awesome, and Sir Same the Unusual to King Arthur’s castle opposing the Black Knight, grossly smelly giant Bleob, and fire-breathing leather-winged iron-clawed green dragon Smaug. Fred plays tag and wields a baseball bat. Sam cleverly politicks. Joseph, Arthur tricks with cards. But Merlin has ‘The Book’ to get home” (Goodreads).

Over Sea, Under Stone [The Dark Is Rising series 1] | Susan Cooper | Middle-Grade | Fantasy | Arthurian Inspired | “On holiday in Cornwall, the three Drew children discover an ancient map in the attic of the house that they are staying in. They know immediately that it is special. It is even more than that --the key to finding a grail, a source of power to fight the forces of evil known as the Dark. And in searching for it themselves, the Drews put their very lives in peril” (Goodreads).

Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery [Bunnicula series 1] | Deborah Howe | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Mystery | “BEWARE THE HARE! Is he or isn’t he a vampire? Before it’s too late, Harold the dog and Chester the cat must find out the truth about the newest pet in the Monroe household: a suspicious-looking bunny with unusual habits...and fangs!” (Goodreads).

Howliday Inn [Bunnicula series 2] | James Howe | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Mystery | “Not a great place to visit, and you wouldn’t want to live there. The Monroes have gone on vacation, leaving Harold and Chester at Chateau Bow-Wow --not exactly a four-star hotel. On the animals’ very first night there, the silence is pierced by a peculiar wake-up call --an unearthly howl that makes Chester observe that the place should be called Howliday Inn. But the mysterious cries in the night (Chester is convinced there are werewolves afoot) are just the beginning of the frightening goings-on. Soon animals start disappearing, and there are whispers of murder. Is checkout time at Chateau Bow-Wow going to come earlier than Harold and Chester anticipated?” (Goodreads).

Peter Pan | J.M. Barrie | Children’s Literature | Fantasy | Adventure | “The mischievous boy who refuses to grow up, lands in the Darling’s proper middle-class home to look for his shadow. He befriends Wendy, John and Michael and teaches them to fly (with a little help from fairy dust). He and Tinker Bell whisk them off to Never-land where they encounter the Red Indians [Native Never-landers], the Little Lost Boys, pirates and the dastardly Captain Hook” (Goodreads). | Content Warnings: use of the terms “Red Indians” and “Indians” (and probably other racist terms, I can’t remember though).

Owl Moon | Jane Yolen | Picture Book | Realistic Fiction | “Late one winter night a little girl and her father go owling. The trees stand still as statues and the world is silent as a dream. Whoo-whoo-whoo, the father calls to the mysterious nighttime bird. But there is no answer. Wordlessly the two companions walk along, for when you go owling you don’t need words. You don’t need anything but hope. Sometimes there isn’t an owl, but sometimes there is” (Goodreads).

Kiana’s Iditarod | Shelley Gill | Picture Book | Fiction | Educational | “Kiana is no ordinary dog. Born and bred to race, she leads her team of huskies on a journey unlike any other. The Iditarod --known traditionally as Alaska’s ‘Last Great Race’-- spans 1,049 icy miles from Anchorage to Nome. From the treacherous terrain to the bitter, blowing winds, the trail is full of obstacles Kiana and her team must overcome in order to reach the finish line. Along the way, they encounter pacts of wild wolves, a mighty moose, and other dog-sled teams fighting for first place. Can Kiana summon the strength of her team and lead them to victory? Author Shelley Gill brings her firsthand experience as the fifth woman to complete the Iditarod race to this crackling adventure story” (Amazon).

[felicityfiction]

[bulletproof glass part 4] part 3

a/n: its 5am. i needed a study break. this is terrible. im very disappointed in myself but also not sure if i can put anything out thats better. i have failed, please dont hate me :(

god, do they even teach them how to shoot?

san smirks, easily dodging a badly aimed bullet from a poorly hidden sniper. not really a sniper at all, if you ask him. just someone too cowardly to come down and face the action on the ground.

weakness.

in the chaos of a building carpark, there are guns blazing and shouts echoing, the occasional yell of pain or shattering of glass as these terribly trained excuses of henchmen hit a car instead of their intended human target.

it’s music to san’s ears.

to his left, he registers seonghwa, barrelling towards him with a wholehearted intention to get him into a car and to safety, but san is just starting to have fun.

he takes down two guys who have at least a foot on him, but he barely breaks a sweat. adrenaline is pumping through his veins, and he thinks that maybe he doesn’t have to smoke tonight to be able to get high.

this is his drug. san is addicted to the danger of it all. it’s messy and wonderful, a dance that is ingrained into san’s brain and burned into his muscle from years of first hand experience. choi san is talented, and he’s about to show it.

he sees seonghwa veer sharply to his right, and he spares a glance in his direction. just in time to see seonghwa gun down two guys who were surrounding hongjoong, trying to take him down. the leader was to be captured alive, no doubt, to be used as leverage. if his father was here, these guys would be all over him like hyenas to a carcass. but he isn’t, content to let san and seonghwa handle tonight’s minor matters.

he’s mine.

the words thrum in his ears, fuelling his slightly fatigued muscles to keep going until all their enemies were down. he was the next in line to inherit the choi name, and he sure as hell was going to make his name known to everyone in the underground.

and perhaps the child in him still preens under his father’s praise, and he’s greedy for more.

but san is amused by the sight of seonghwa fumbling in his attempt to get to hongjoong, his usual grace lost in his worry. he almost reaches out to hongjoong, then freezes and recoils like hongjoong at shot him. san feels a stab of pity, but also a brief inkling of scorn

this is what affection does to you.

hongjoong had come with few guards, despite knowing that there was a high chance that this deal would go south. perhaps he trusted san more than he let on, or he thought that san had a bigger target on his back, and he would be able to escape unscathed if it came down to it

or, san thinks, maybe he knows someone here will die to protect him.

a hand comes flying out of nowhere, barely missing san’s face, and san whips around faster than lightning. he grabs the wrist, and is about to twist and snap it when he registers the face in front of him. a smile curls onto his face.

“we’re allies here, did you forget? how can it be acceptable to try and take me out?”

“wasn’t trying to take you out. distracted. person shooting. wanted to get your attention.” yunho is speaking in breathless pants, sweat beading on his forehead. he grabs san and tugs, and san finds himself going willingly. he lets himself get pushed behind a pillar, as yunho scans for more aggressive men in black.

there’s a feeling san can’t pinpoint blooming in his chest, and he shoves it away, letting his god awful flirtatious nature come up as a defence.

“so sweet of you, darling. but you look more tired than me. i’d have been perfectly fine, but i appreciate the sentiment.”

yunho doesn’t realise he’s stilll holding san’s wrist, too busy being on the lookout.

“shut up.” he scowls

san sees a brief release of tension in yunho’s shoulders when he spots hongjoong safe, a few meters away surrounded by the remainder of his guards.

“you should go join them, sweetheart. it’s time for you to flee.”

yunho’s eyes snap towards him, and he angrily spits, “we’re not fleeing, you bastard.”

san wants to laugh again, because infruriating yunho is so, so enjoyable. “i didn’t mean anything. they’re all gone, anyway. we won. no point staying around for the cleanup.” he lifts his wrist to yunho’s eyes, and they widen exponentially. yunho drops his wrist and steps back, putting some distance between him and san. san decides he preferred it when yunho was pressed against him.

yunho makes to walk away towards a gesturing hongjoong, but san’s the one to reach out this time.

“thank you, yunho. i appreciate it.” yunho seems surprised by the sincereity that laces san’s words, but he quickly reminds himself that san is more than a proficient liar. he pushes san’s hand off his wrist, suddenly wishing he hadn’t tried to help.

stupid, stupid yunho.

“and don’t worry, baby. you always have my attention.”

and there it is, classic san. can’t have a conversation without dropping some kind of comment that made yunho’s skin crawl. yunho flinches, and walks away. san is staring after him, his lips upturned.

yunho picks his way through the bodies littered on the ground, trying to ignore both the vast amounts of blood, and the way that his ears are burning.

if hongjoong notices how red he is, he presumes that it’s from the physical exertion. he’s scanning yunho for injuries, relieved to find none. regardless, he pushes yunho towards the car, ready to take him away from everything and shelter him as best he can.

he shouldn’t have brought him here in the first place.

hongjoong can’t help the deep tug in his gut that compels him to look around once more before stepping into the car.

seonghwa is rushing towards san, and san is smiling so broadly it disturbs hongjoong. he’s certain that san is a psychopath, or at least someone who enjoys witnessing pain. or maybe he’s so desensitized that this has all become a game for him.

either way, hongjoong darts his eyes down and gets into the car. he pretends that the relief flooding his chest is for himself, for yunho and for his other men. not for the bodyguard of his rival gang leader, who just so happened to perhaps have saved his life.

fuck this.

hongjoong is absolutely fucking screwed.

yunho spends the same car ride trying to forget the deep voice echoing in his ears and the hand around his wrist. he’s all too aware that he was frantically searching for san the entire time the fight was happening, barely registering his members. he should feel guilty, he knows, and he berates himself fiercely.

why yunho, why? he’s a sadistic monster, he could have killed you and called it an accident!

but somehow, yunho can’t bring himself to regret that he threw himself in front of a guy that could very well be holding a gun to his temple in the near future.

yunho is also, absolutely fucking screwed

“he tried to help me, hwa. isn’t that so cute? i could’ve taken all of them blindfolded, but it’s still adorable.”

seonghwa purses his lips, a sharp pang striking a chord in his heart.

san is sitting on his desk, swinging his legs back and forth as he recounts the night to him, nevermind that seonghwa was supposed to be the one delivering the report.

“that’s the first time someone besides me has done that for you, san.” seonghwa says quietly, more to himself than to san. but his charge, his friend, hears it anyway.

“i’m attractive, hwa. what can i say? you tried to play hero too. good job on that, by the way.”

seonghwa flinches at the reminder. it was too close for comfort, the way hongjoong had been a split second from being overpowered, and seonghwa had moved before he had time to think.

“i’m sorry for getting distracted.” he had failed. seonghwa was supposed to protect san, yet he had some kind of messed up tunnel vision and sixth sense that led him to jump to the defence of someone he isn’t even supposed to associate with-

“don’t apologise. i’m a better fighter than you, or him. i didn’t need it.”

i forgive you. i understand. don’t worry, you did the right thing.

that’s how they communicate. with hidden meanings and the hope that the other party understands.

in spite of everything that went down, seonghwa’s frantic about one thing, and one thing above all.

it absolutely terrifies him how choi san is whistling a happy tune from his lips recounting the way jung yunho had tried to press him into a wall for his own safety. san chalks it all up to nothing, but seonghwa sees more. san isn’t just amused, he’s happy.

he’s happy that jung yunho had tried to save him.

it’s mortifying, seeing this unknown emotion on san. seonghwa knows how to deal with an angry san, a drunk san and an indifferent san. seonghwa knows san.

but seonghwa has never seen san care. and it sure as hell feels like san is starting to care.

“would you have done it?” he whispers, and san trails off, narrowing his eyes at him.

“what are you talking about?”

“would you have jumped in front of a gun to save him?” seonghwa bites his lip. please, please say something snarky and cocky and arrogant.

“i’d just shoot the source of danger, hwa. have you lost your touch? can’t protect someone if i’m dead, now can i? remember that next time, i doubt hongjoong would want to see you die in front of him.”

seonghwa’s ears are ringing.

protect someone? san, since when have you ever wanted to protect someone? everyone is disposable to you, no? why him? why now?

but seonghwa swallows all his words, and san continues on his painfully oblivious humming. he can’t even tell that this emotion is new and different. he can’t tell that his mind is drifting to a hand gripping his wrist, and the pressure of another body pressed against his.

word of the day: endearment. maybe san would do good to learn some new vocabulary, so he can put a label to that weird sensation in his chest, and his burning desire to see jung yunho again.

maybe, san would come to his senses. seonghwa can only hope.

[scifigeneration]

Waiting for an undersea robot in Antarctica to call home

by Jennifer Walsh

One of two underwater gliders is deployed from a research ship into Antarctic waters. NOAA

“Call! Just call!” I think loudly in my head. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

I might seem like a worried parent waiting for a teenager to report in from an unsupervised outing. Rather, I’m a research biologist with the Antarctic Ecosystem Research Division at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. It’s late February 2019, and I am waiting for an autonomous underwater glider in Antarctica to surface and call me via satellite, so I can give it new diving instructions. The longest it’s supposed to go without surfacing is eight hours, and it’s now been nine.

Did it get stuck under an iceberg? An underwater ledge? I feel so helpless; I’m 9,000 miles away in San Diego and all I can do is chew my fingernails and think, “No. This can’t happen. We can’t lose this glider so close to the end.”

The survey area where gliders measured Antarctic krill populations. NOAA

Our research team is two-and-a-half months into a three-month-long mission just north of the Antarctic Peninsula. This is our first time deploying gliders so far from home, and our hope for a successful field season – not to mention a great deal of research – depends on recovering the two gliders our group deployed in December 2018. The gliders are now full of oceanographic data that will help us provide scientific advice on how best to conserve the Antarctic ecosystem as the area around the peninsula warms faster than almost any other region on Earth, which may adversely affect the animals that live there.

9 hours, 30 minutes: No call

For over 30 years, the NOAA group I’m part of has conducted studies to estimate how many Antarctic krill, small shrimp-like creatures that support the diverse Antarctic food web, live around the Antarctic Peninsula.

Antarctic krill, Euphausia superba, can grow up to about 2.5 inches long. Uwe Kils/Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA

Krill feeds penguins and seals that breed in this area every summer and whales and fishes that feed here year-round, while also supporting a major fishery. You may have seen bright-red dietary supplements made from krill oil prominently displayed at the pharmacy. Our data help establish catch limits for the krill fishery, ensuring enough krill remain in the ocean to maintain the population after all people and animals take what they need to make a living. Without good data to support fishery-management decisions, krill fishing could undermine the food web for which Antarctica is so well known, as demand for supplements and other krill products surges.

10 hours: No call

Until three years ago, my program chartered a research vessel for a month each year to sail around the Antarctic Peninsula and estimate the biomass of krill. But after 2016, rising vessel costs eliminated our surveys. For our program to continue, we had to find a creative way to collect our data in Antarctica without actually going to Antarctica.

An autonomous glider in the ocean. NOAA

Our solution was to use autonomous underwater gliders, which can be deployed in just a few hours by a small team from a ship in Antarctica, and then recovered months later. Gliders can dive to 3,000 feet, cover thousands of miles and follow commands from anywhere in the world with a laptop and an internet connection. Their batteries last six months, which means that they can collect much more data for much less money than a bunch of scientists on a research vessel.

The gliders resemble torpedoes in appearance, but contain three massive batteries and an array of scientific sensors that collect much of the same data we used to collect from a ship. Although the gliders are able to transmit small amounts of data via satellite throughout the deployment, the most valuable data are stored on the glider. If we lose a glider, which is always a possibility when you let something roam free in the ocean unattended for months, then we also lose the data.

We had effectively replaced ourselves with drones. But would they work?

12 hours: No call

For most of our team, the transition just a year ago from annual research voyages to the aquatic versions of C-3PO and R2-D2 was exciting. Secretly, though, I was terrified. I had spent my career as a scientist collecting krill samples from research vessels for biochemical analyses of their tissues. Suddenly I found myself ousted by oceanographic robots full of cables, wires, circuit boards and all sorts of other technological gadgetry.

These are not what you’d call smart robots. A bit like human toddlers, they have some degree of self-awareness, but would destroy themselves without semi-constant monitoring and instructions on how deep to dive or where to go. Outside supervision is especially important in the Southern Ocean, which is full of seamounts, canyons, strong currents and, most importantly, icebergs.

You can’t glider-proof the ocean the way you can baby-proof a house, so I had to forget everything I knew about biochemistry and learn as much as I could about glider piloting in 10 short months.

13 hours: No call

All that training and practice felt like 10 minutes by the time we finally packed up the gliders and shipped them to the Southern Hemisphere for their first Antarctic deployments. The commands for how deep to dive and where to go seemed simple enough, but the gliders responded as unpredictably as the ocean itself.

A near-disastrous practice deployment in San Diego revealed how slowly they maneuver, particularly in strong currents. Piloting them felt like trying to drive a remote-control semi-truck through a go-kart course, which reinforced our apprehension about driving these things through the ocean all the way across the planet, in one of the most remote and treacherous oceans on Earth.

Never mind the wind and the currents and the icebergs. What made this deployment far scarier was that if things started to go horribly wrong, we had no way to get the gliders back. It was like dropping a toddler off at college on another continent: What if he needs you and you can’t get to him?

14 hours: No call

Almost exactly 10 months from our first day of glider training, we carried the gliders across the Drake Passage on a research vessel bound for the Antarctic Peninsula. The deployments were flawless, and over the next few days, our confidence began to build. We quickly learned that icebergs were enemy number one, and they were formidable opponents. Satellite images of icebergs were available every couple of days, and we overlaid maps of planned glider tracks onto those images so we could steer the gliders around any ice in their way. The trouble was, even the newest images we received were already a day old, and the ice had already moved.

On this chart of the South Shetland Islands, one intended glider path is marked in straight gray lines. Circled in red in the middle is the iceberg the researchers called ‘Yacu.’ NOAA

Smaller icebergs were usually avoidable, but around three weeks into the deployment, “Yacu” appeared on the scene. Inspired by a mythological South American snake that eats everything in its way, that was the nickname we gave a 12.5-mile-wide iceberg from the Weddell Sea that drifted right into the path of one of the gliders. Yacu stuck around for the rest of the deployment, every few days spawning smaller (but still huge) icebergs that posed a constant and unpredictable threat to gliders already at the mercy of currents, tides and wind.

If a glider gets trapped under an obstacle and senses that it’s been underwater for too long, it drops an emergency weight to rocket itself to the surface for an immediate recovery. Once a glider drops its weight, it can’t dive anymore. So if it is trapped under ice, it’s likely to stay trapped under ice. And one way to know if a glider is trapped is that it stops calling in, because it can connect to satellites only when it’s at the surface.

15 hours: No call

And then…

Ding ding! Ding ding! My laptop screams at me after 16 long hours: The glider is at the surface.

It is well past 9 p.m., but every member of our five-person team has been glued to a computer since early afternoon, and we collectively sigh with relief. We now think the glider probably surfaced after the first eight hours, failed to connect to the satellite and resumed diving, which can occasionally happen. The reason for the gap is unimportant compared to our elation. A couple of weeks later, we successfully recovered both gliders on schedule and completed our first autonomous Antarctic field season.

One key finding is that we can, in fact, replace a vessel-based fishery assessment with a glider-based one in less than a year. With gliders, we can get krill biomass estimates comparable to those we would expect from a ship. That means we can use gliders to continue to provide critical data for managing the krill fishery.

This is a profound accomplishment for us and for NOAA, and it also has far-reaching promise for the future of fisheries research globally. The cost of science keeps going up, and autonomous instruments offer an affordable way to collect critical data for effectively managing ocean resources and conserving fragile marine ecosystems worldwide.

Our gliders are like toddlers in one final way: They’re advanced technology, yet they’re still in their infancy. Their ongoing usefulness to understand our changing planet in real time will depend on new sensors and instruments yet to be developed. What we accomplished is only the the tip of Yacu compared to what the future of autonomous oceanographic research holds.

About The Author:

Jennifer Walsh is a Research Biologist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

This article is republished from our content partners at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. 

[datura-foxglove]

Little Dazai trying to take Atsushi around placed, calling them dates. Little Dazai getting irritable when Atsushi talks to someone his age, older than Dazai, on their dates. Little Dazai in a really bad mood... until Atsushi ended their nth date with a kiss on the forehead. Atsushi being the one who now watches Dazai turn fifty shades of red.

Atsushi walked a few steps forward, his sharp ears caught the soft footsteps of the child following him back to the daycare. When he stopped in his track, the footsteps stopped too. However, Dazai had been keeping his distance, silently following Atsushi with the most adorable frustrated look on his face.

There was a flutter of joy in Atsushi’s heart at how honest Dazai showed his emotions to him this time, no carefully crafted masks that took Atsushi years to peel completely to see the true man beneath all of them. The innocence of a child, no matter how jaded it was in Dazai, did still exist. But the expression that Dazai showed him was completely new. He didn’t know how to respond to this emotion, which was both exhilarating and scary.

He had long mostly forgotten of how it was to be a child, but thankfully he knew this emotion well. After all, he spent most of his childhood jealous of other children with parents or even other children in the orphanage who had friends and better treatment than him.

He wondered if this Dazai felt jealous because just like Atsushi back then, he couldn’t see himself ever having what he was jealous of? The Dazai who he had spent a lifetime with was completely confident in Atsushi’s devotion, knowing and understanding Atsushi well that Atsushi wouldn’t be tempted to look for another as long as Dazai was alive. But this Dazai, this young and innocent Dazai, who was still unable to look at someone and dissect their hearts, had his own misgivings of whether Atsushi would choose him over another.

It felt completely ridiculous, but also heartwarming to Atsushi. He didn’t know whether this crush that Dazai had for him would stay in his heart for years. Maybe in the future, Dazai would be able to love someone else. Someone not so broken and with jagged heart like Atsushi.

And Atsushi would be content with that. After all, he saw that all of his friends and enemies being reincarnated as a second chance. A chance for them to experience happiness that they never able to get in their former life. He could already see Kyouka now living happily with her parents, Dazai having his best friends back without the hurt of betrayal, and everyone else. It’s fine if it was only him that carried the burden of their past lives, as someone who was unable to leave them all behind by being unable to die.

So until that future where Dazai would find the one he would love with all of his heart, Atsushi would stay by his side. No matter how many lifetimes, Atsushi wanted to burn his with Dazai and the others. His bleak life was more beautiful that way and he would always be grateful for their meetings, even if that meant he would also had to say goodbye a lot more times in the future.

Atsushi turned around, facing Dazai who flinched when their eyes met. He approached the young boy, whose body becoming tenser as Atsushi being closer. Finally, he knelt in front of the boy, who was unable to look him in the eyes.

He put his hands on the boy’s tiny shoulders and leaned closer. He saw Dazai’s eyes widened before he closed his eyes as he kissed Dazai’s forehead. It was a new sensation, as Dazai was the one who used to kiss his forehead in their previous lifetime. He remembered how each kiss would make his whole being melt and his heart radiated nothing but fondness for the man who had accepted his love and returned it with his own.

Atsushi leaned back, almost unable to hold back a chuckle seeing how red Dazai’s face was. “Thank you for the date, Dazai-kun. It was really fun.”

Dazai put his tiny hands on his cheeks, as if hiding his blush. “B-but we don’t do anything.” Dazai’s voice turned into whisper at the end. “I am too busy being jealous that I don’t pay attention to you...”

“Just being with you gives me happiness.” that was his honest thought. It was like Atsushi had been walking his life in a completely dark tunnel, just walking forward because he couldn’t do anything else. But Dazai’s existence in his life gave him a lantern. Now, Atsushi could see the beauty and ugly things that used to be hidden by the dark with it. For Atsushi’s long and bleak life as an immortal, this few moments of happiness was rare and truly precious.

Dazai finally look at him in the eyes. The shadow of doubt in his eyes slowly receded. Atsushi truly loved it when Dazai’s eyes were filled with light. “Really?”

“Yes.” Atsushi smiled, which had become so rare for him after Kyouka, who was the last one of his precious family, died. But it was so easy for him to smile so naturally now with Dazai by his side. “I am happy because you are with me, Dazai-kun.”

Atsushi could sense that his words moved Dazai, although he didn’t know exactly to what extend and what had changed. But Dazai opened his hands awkwardly, indirectly showing that Dazai was not used to initiate contact. Atsushi waited patiently until Dazai’s arms encircled around his neck. Atsushi’s past hostile experience should reacted violently, yet his instinct was completely relaxed. Even Byakko back in his mind was calm, laying there comfortably. The absolute trust he got for the Dazai from his previous timeline was still there.

When Atsushi returned the hug, he heard Dazai whispered to his ear. “...the next date will be better. I promise.”

Atsushi saw the world around them. How the breeze carried along the withered leaves in their dance and the warm sunset. The world may had changed, but he could still find the similarity as to the days when Dazai had taken him on a date in their previous life. He closed his eyes as his hands tightened around Dazai’s tiny body. “Then you will make me burst with happiness, Dazai-kun.”

Because Dazai didn’t have to do a lot to make Atsushi happy. Their separation had only make Atsushi cherished the days they had spent and would spent together more.

Omake :

Dazai sighed again, which made it the forty sixth times he had sighed today. Oda had counted it, so he was sure of it.

Ango’s fingers twitched around his pencil, his brow furrowed in annoyance. “Dazai-kun, I actually don’t want to ask...” he massaged his forehead, which reminded Oda of his father. “But why are you sighing?”

“I am glad you asked, Ango!” Dazai leaped at the chance Ango gave him and spoke with eyes so bright Oda wondered if Dazai had somehow changed the color of his eyes. “I am going to marry soon!”

Oda blinked. He didn’t expect that. “What do you mean?”

Dazai whispered, as if telling an important secret. “Atsushi-san kissed me. He kissed me!” Dazai smiled, which wasn’t supposed to look so dark on children, Oda thought. “That is how adults sealed the vow when they marry, right?”

Ango frowned. “Atsushi-san kissed you?” seeing Dazai enthusiastic nod, Ango fixed his glasses and stared at Dazai with complete skepticism. “Where?”

Dazai froze. Oda also stared at Dazai, but with curiosity instead of Ango’s disbelief. Under the weight of both of their stares, Dazai relented and touched his forehead.

Ango sighed and somehow Oda could hear years of suffering from that one sigh. “Dazai-kun, a peck on forehead hardly means anything. Our parents and teachers kiss us on our forehead.”

“But this is different! Atsushi-san’s kiss was full of love, I can feel it!” Dazai denied vehemently. Oda watched as the two of them bickered for a while regarding the kiss, his mind wandered with the the voices of his best friends as the background noise.

“So that means if Ango or I also get a kiss on our foreheads from Atsushi-san, we will also marry Atsushi-san?” Oda wondered aloud, oblivious to the way Ango snorted in amusement and Dazai’s gradually paling face.

Fukuzawa later scolded Dazai for screaming like a banshee.

[thesims4sarah]

SILVER SCREEN SIMS LEGACY CHALLENGE - CLASSIC FILMS - RULES

When Get Famous came out, I wanted to play a legacy challenge that incorporated some of the new things that came with the pack. I didn't see any right away so I decided it was time to create my own. Spending some time considering a direction, it felt like Get Famous naturally followed to a cinema themed legacy. Hence, the Silver Screen Sims Legacy Challenge. Actually, I developed two different versions of this challenge. This one that is inspired by Classic/Golden Era of Hollywood films and another which uses 80's movies. I put that in its own thread. You can find that HERE I worked hard to make sure there is very little overlap of career, aspirations or other tasks between the two. So, you could easily decide to play just one, play both or even have this be one big massive 20 generation legacy if you wanted and not have much repeat itself. The challenges use something from every pack from the Base Game on up to Get Famous. You could probably play around a couple things if you don't have a pack but it is going to be difficult if you have large gaps in the collection. ==== Silver Screen Sims Legacy Challenge - Classic Films Each generation of this legacy is inspired by a classic Hollywood film. Basic Rules: Start with a Young Adult Sim. Either one you created especially for this or one you previously made. They should, for reasons that will play out in the challenge, human. Gender and any other appearance elements don't matter. Don't cheat unless you are told to in the rules. What's the point of that? There is no point scoring here, just the reward of the fun telling the story of your Silver Screen Sims Legacy. Using creative content is up to you as long as it isn't a cheat or it replaces an object required to complete a generation. I don't use any but that's just a personal choice. Unless otherwise stated in the rules for a generation, you can live anywhere you want. Similarly, color outside the lines all you want as long as you hit the action rules for each generation. Let's get started...... Generation One: Grapes of Wrath After your family lost their farm as a result of a great economic disaster, you decided it was time to move west and start again. You have nothing but your knowledge of how to work the land and a sense of right and wrong. You’ll do your best to make sure neither let you down. Traits: Hot-Headed, Good, Art Lover Aspiration: Freelance Botanist Career: Gardner - Botanist Rules: 1. Move into the lot of your choice in Oasis Springs. It should either already be vacant or you can bulldoze it before moving in. Buy a tent and then use the Money cheat to bring your funds down to zero. You don’t have to wait to get a job but you will be building from the dirt up. 2. Give lot three traits. One must be great soil (you’ll thank yourself later). The other two are up to you. 3. Take a selfie on your new property. Hang it on the wall of your home when you finally build it. This should hang in every home throughout your legacy. 4. Master gardener career and freelance botanist aspiration 5. Always do your laundry with the washtub and clothesline 6. Don’t get married until you have mastered the gardening skill. 7. Ask for a large loan at least once in your life. Generation Two: Mr. Smith Goes To Washington You spent your childhood watching your parent struggle against the system. Now you are on a mission to take that system down. Organizing for charity and writing books to expose corruption is how you will keep your parent’s legacy alive. Traits: Ambitious, Dance Machine,Vegetarian Aspiration: Best Selling Author Career: Politician - Charity Rules: 1. Join the after school Scouting club and collect all the badges. 2. Complete the Politician (Charity) career and Best Selling Author aspiration. 3. Win a Dance Battle 4. Marry somebody you met at a protest rally 5. Obtain the Giving Back and Rally Fame Perks 6. Collect all the festival bubble blower bottles Generation Three: Wizard Of Oz Your parents are so proud of everything they and your grandparents have built for the family in the new land. Of course you understand but, if you are really honest, you are bored of living in the same place and doing the same things. You want to explore, meet new people and do new things. Traits: Dog Lover, Clumsy, Music Lover Aspiration: Friend of The World Career: Astronaut - Space Ranger Rules: 1. Get a dog & become companions. 2. Complete Astronaut (Space Ranger) Career and Friend of the World aspiration 3. Go on Vacation to both Granite Falls and Salvadorada at least once. 4. Master dog training and cooking skills. 5. Cook Pet food recipe at least once a week 6. Become friends with Patchy, The Living Statue and somebody in a animal outfit Generation Four: Singin’ In the Rain There was a great deal to learn from a parent that spent so much time time exploring. That was when you actually got to see them. So much time spent alone led to lots of time playing make believe, putting on puppet shows and just acting into the mirror. Anything to feel less lonely. Now all of that is going be pay off as you take your acting to the silver screen. The world WILL know your name. Traits: Perfectionist, Jealous, Goofball Aspiration: Renaissance Sim Career: Acting Rules: 1. Join after school drama club 2. Master singing skill 3. Declare rain to be your favorite weather. 4. Complete Acting career and Renaissance aspiration. 5. Be on the winning Jokester team at the Hijinks Festival 6. Have several jobs before you decide to get serious about acting. Keep practicing though. Dreams shouldn’t get stale. 7. Fall in love with somebody that is already married, get them to break up with their partner & then marry them. 8. Have at least two children. Generation Five: Some Like It Hot Growing up, your home was obsessed with showbiz. So it is no wonder you got bit by the entertainer bug too. Only one problem. Everybody knows your famous acting parent and doesn’t want to take you seriously. Maybe if you go undercover with a bit of a gender bending look it might help you get a fair shake? Traits: Creative, Romantic, Hates Children Aspiration: Musical Genius Career: Entertainer - Musician Rules: 1. Complete Entertainer (Musician) career and Musical Genius aspiration 2. Declare hot weather your favorite weather 3. Master Media Production & Rock Climbing skills 4. Have a haircut and at least one outfit originally intended for the opposite gender. 5. Always have one of your siblings living in the same home as you 6. Wait until you are halfway through your adult age to have kids. Generation Six: The Day The Earth Stood Still Maybe they never said it outright but you always felt like you were an afterthought for your parents. Did they even really want you? You’re not going to let that get you down though. You’ll build your own big happy family and make sure they always know how much they are wanted. Traits: Family Oriented,Outgoing,Slob Aspiration: Big Happy Family Career: Scientist Rules: 1. Master Gourmet Cooking, Handiness and Skating skills 2. Complete Big Happy Family aspiration and Scientist career 3. Marry teenage sweetheart 4. Become best friends with an alien 5. Take photos with all of your teenage children and hang on the wall. 6. Win the Curry contest at the Spice Festival Generation Seven: Mildred Pierce Face it. Your parents did an amazing job. Love was all around you growing up and they raised you to have real belief in yourself. You know you can do anything. Even if that means eating baked goods all the time. Also, now that you think of it, did getting that much love all the time setup impossible standards for your future romantic partners to try to meet? Traits: Foodie, Bro, Self-Assured Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy Career: Business - Management Rules: 1. Master baking, charisma and flower arranging skills 2. Complete Business (Management) career and Fabulously Wealthy aspiration 3. When at home, eat nothing but baked goods you prepared yourself & honey from your bee box. 4. Get married and divorced twice. Have a child with each spouse. 5. Start a club with just your siblings as members. Meet at least weekly. Generation Eight: Arsenic and Old Lace Why is family alway so up in your grill? Surely they can recognize your genius? Then why won’t they just get out of your way and let your plans unfold? Still, keep your enemies close, as they say. Traits: Genius,Self-Absorbed,Mean Aspiration: Public Enemy Career: Criminal - Boss Rules: 1. Master herbalism, mischief and bowling skills 2. Complete Criminal (Boss) career and Public Enemy aspiration 3. Have two of your Aunts or Uncles move in with you, if they are still alive. 4. Buy Dr. June's Weather Control Device 5. Be enemies with a sibling 6. Get married on Halloween 7. Obtain the Play the Villain fame perk. Generation Nine: On The Town Enough with this small town life. Like your your great, great, great, great grandparent, you want to see and do EVERYTHING. So why haven’t you moved to the big city yet? Now is your time! Paint the town red and make the city yours! Traits: Cheerful, Glutton, Bookworm Aspiration: City Native Career: Critic - Food Rules: 1. Skip school at least once 2. Move to San Myshuno 3. Master Athletic and Comedy skills 4. Complete the Critic (Food) career and City Native aspiration 5. Always take the Work From Home option 6. Have a pet of some variety. 7. Marry somebody who works as a food or souvenir stall vendor. Generation Ten: High Society Wow. Your ancestor that first moved to that dusty lot in Oasis Springs couldn’t even have imagined where your family is now. You don’t want for much. The world is at your fingertip. Newspapers report on your love-life. Yet, you have a way of sabotaging your own happiness. When will you ever learn what...or who...is truly good for you? Traits: Insider, Materialistic, Childish Aspiration: Soulmate Career: Social Media - Internet Personality Rules: 1. Complete Social Media (Internet Personality) career and Soulmate aspiration. 2. Master DJ Mixing trait 3. Marry your soulmate, divorce them, date somebody else and then remarry your soulmate 4. Take a yoga class & get a message at a spa 5. Hire a butler 6. Have a lifestyle brand Have fun! I can't wait to see what stories plat out. Share as much as possible! Use #SilverScreenSims in the Gallery and on social media so we can follow each other's progress there too. I plan on streaming a lot of my legacy play on Twitch. I'm Sims4Sarah everywhere.

[eburneanteen-blog]

Tête-à-tête

Summary ⟶ In which Gray and Lucy have some interesting things to say about the different guilds and their members.

Pairings ⟶ Gray/Lucy friendship.

Tags ⟶ Humor, Family/Friendship.

Setting ⟶ Grand Magic Games (the ball).

Note ⟶ because gray and lucy’s friendship is underrated. i mean, there is a ton of proof that they’ll be bffs forever. also, forgive me, i have no idea how to gossip with actual tea as the gen z kids do nowadays.

During the Grand Magic Games, there initially was a sense of hostility in the atmosphere. The people of Crocus were a little apprehensive about the return of Fairy Tail’s Tenrou group, thus ending in the crowd completely disliking the former strongest guild. The stunts Raven Tail pulled didn’t help either. All in all, it seemed everyone hated Fairy Tail.

And then they won (ha, take that suckers!) and showed to the world what the powers of comradery and friendship entailed.

When the battle with the seven dragons began, all the guilds came together. Everyone fought together against the enemy, bled together, and eventually prevailed together. Though it was a long and complicated war, the bonds between all of the wizards prevailed, showing that if the people of the world would come together as one, there was nothing that could not be achieved in the future.

The ball held by the king of Fiore was a great way to relieve some of the stress from fighting on hours end. The women dressed up in beautiful, extravagant gowns as the men wore their fanciest suits. Everyone found their partner from different guilds and made their way to the dance floor, some mages bonded over the deliciousness of the buffet, and a few wizards who still had energy to spare had their own little brawl.

In the deepest corner of the ballroom, a duo could be found. A woman with golden blonde hair and a man with jet black hair. They were giggling and whispering amongst themselves. And the pair was commonly known as Lucy Heartfilia, the Celestial Maiden, and Gray Fullbuster, the Ice-Make wizard who stripped twenty-four hours a day, and seven days a week.

“You know what?” Lucy chortled. She was barely able to take a bite from her cake since she kept snorting and laughing. Despite her lovely dress and hairdo, she had no intention of acting like a lady tonight it seemed. “I still can’t believe that Ichiya found Nichiya.”

Gray grunted, a grin curling his lips in amusement. “You should have seen Erza. She downright fainted!” He prayed that the red-headed knight was nowhere near them at the moment.

Lucy giggled. She pictured the scene in her head with perfect clarity. “When we were fighting Erigor, she didn’t even flinch! The Pandemonium didn’t even seem like a problem for her. Even when we fought Acnologia on the island, she didn’t waver.”

“Erza’s weakness is an old man who has an obsession with perfumes!” Gray’s eyes began to water, his stomach ached from his boisterous laughter. His legs felt like jelly that he had to lean on Lucy’s shoulder.

“Speaking of Erza,” Lucy giggled, eyeing her friend who was accompanied by a certain Mermaid with long, violet hair. “She basically adopted Kagura as her sister.”

Gray snorted, finally calming down. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms against his now naked chest. “The only reason I like her is because she kicked Lyon’s ass during the tag-team battle.”

“No way!” Lucy exclaimed, her eyes sparkled at the new information. Albeit, the fire in her earthy ringlets quickly disappeared. She lowered her head. “I still wish I could have seen the tag-team battles,” She whispered sadly.

“Oh, please,” Gray waved her off as he snatched a bite out of the cake on her plate. “The only thing that was worth watching was Natsu fighting for your honor.” He turned to the blonde, who suddenly had reddened cheeks, and smirked. “He liiiikes you.”

“He does–he does not!” Lucy spluttered. She pointed to a Water Wizard with blue hair that was currently conversing with Lyon. “You better make your move on Juvia otherwise Lyon will totally steal her and have thirty-three babies with her!”

Gray shrugged, although there was a smug smile on his face. “There’s no way of that happening. We already showed him up during the final day. Juvia and I totally kicked his ass!”

Lucy snickered, poking the noirette’s bare chest in retaliation. “Of course you did. You liiike her!”

Gray turned away, a thin coat of pink covering his pale face. “Shu–shut up!”

“I heard the First Master helped you guys with a strategy,” Lucy interjected, her head clocked to the side, ready for another spillage of juicy information.

“Obviously it worked,” Gray cheerfully replied. “No, but seriously, she helped us with the minor battles which was good for our points. For all the major fights, we were kind of our own so in a way it didn’t feel like cheating.”

Lucy nodded. “How did the fight go with Erza and Minerva?” She shuddered a bit at the memory of the merciless kicks and punches.

“Erza showed off her new armor,” Gray said, shivering when he recalled the monstrous look on his childhood friend’s face. “Oh, and she fought for ya as always.”

Lucy sighed sadly, her bright aura suddenly dampening. “I wish I wasn’t so weak all the time. Then you wouldn’t go through these problems.”

Gray frowned. He reached out to ruffle her hair, promptly ignoring the way she shrieked so loudly. “You’re on Fairy Tail’s strongest team for a reason, you know. You’re like our glue and rock that keeps us all sane and stuff. It’s just bad luck that you keep running into trouble.”

Lucy sniffled, drowning all her sorrows in the creamy cake. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious!” Gray proclaimed, growing angry that the blonde could ever doubt herself. “If Raven Tail hadn’t cheated, you would have won the crowd over. I mean, you’re Lucy Heartfilia for Christ’s sake!”

“Thanks, Gray,” Lucy smiled. She felt a whole lot better. She was lucky to have a great friends like him. “Hey, tell me about your fight with Rufus and don’t you dare leave a thing out!”

Immediately, Gray brightened like a snowflake. “I won, duh! Man, the guy was a tough one to beat. He could use spells just by memory. At first, it definitely sucked.”

“How did you beat him?” Lucy inquired. She definitely respected him when it came to power and strength, the guy just found ways to surprise everyone everytime he fought. Just like a certain pink-haired Dragon Slayer.

“A magician never tells his secret!” He said with an arrogant grin. “Oh, by the way, what happened to you and Natsu in the castle?”

“It was awful!” Lucy wailed, the brunt of all her injuries came back to the surface. “We ran into these wizards who were like a secret organization or something. Lily was up against a guy who fought with acid. There was a guy who kept calling Natsu a sinner—”

“Which he is, I bet,” Gray commented dryly.

“And then this guy with a weird speech tick, you’ll be proud to hear that Loke kicked his ass—” Lucy felt a surge of pride for all her spirits during the fight with the odd adversary, and she could bet that Yukino felt the exact same way.

“As expected of my partner,” Gray nodded.

“There was this girl with Plant Magic who use something sour against Wendy.” Lucy stifled back a giggle when she remembered the tears of agony of the little bluenette when she told her story.

“Poor Wendy.” Gray mentally kicked himself for doing the same thing to the Sky Maiden not so long ago.

“And then another wizard who had weird Paper Magic, I think Mirajane was the one who beat her,” Lucy continued.

A shiver slithered up Gray’s spine when he tried to image Mirajane in her Demon Soul. “She doesn’t always engage in battle, but when she does, it’s scary as hell.”

“I’ll say,” Lucy agreed. She never wanted to cross paths with an angry Mirajane. “A lot of things has happened to us, huh? This was such a crazy time.”

Gray took a glass of champagne from one of the waiters. The sparkly drink instantly reminded him of a particular brunette. “Yeah. Like the fact that Cana finally met her match.”

Suddenly, throbbing hearts appeared within Lucy’s dark eyes. “Don’t they make the cutest couple? I can’t wait until Gildarts finds out that Bacchus stole Cana’s bra on the first night of the games.”

Gray flicked Lucy’s forehead lightly. “Wow, you are such a girl.”

Lucy grimaced. “But I’m still mad at him for being such a pervert towards Mira-san and Lisanna. It’s a good thing that Elfman won that battle part. I didn’t doubt him for a second.”

Gray downed the rest of the contents of his drink within seconds. “My favorite battle was between Wendy and Chelia. It was kind of unexpected to see those tiny girls have big power.”

Lucy couldn’t agree more. She had to refrain herself from melting then and there just at the thought of the most adorable Dragon Slayer. “Wendy has grown a lot since first arriving to the guild, hasn’t she?”

A serene smile appeared on Gray’s face, making him the most angelic he’s ever been. “I think we all changed.”

“Say, Gray,” Lucy began slowly, twiddling with her fingers apprehensively. “Will our friendship change too? Like, will we ever have moments like this again?”

Gray didn’t even have to think about the answer. He knew that even though a number of years would pass by, he would always have a strong friendship with Lucy, the blonde who always complained on missions and saved their destructive asses.

“You know what, Lucy,” Gray drawled out. He took in the sight of all his comrades mingling and smiling. Despite all of the hardships that he and his guild went through, all of the tears and blood shed, he knew one thing was for certain.

“I think we’ll be just fine.”

[impracticaldemon]

An Officer & A Gentleman:  SaiChi in Edo Part II

by Impracticaldemon (Hakuouki ~ SaichiFest2018)

Words:  A LOT MORE THAN INTENDED (~ 4000) | FFN | AO3

Author's Note:

Written more or less for the prompts Moonlight/Courage (Day 1) [SaiChi], Respect (Day 2) [Saito-Amagiri BrOTP] [with a slight tip of the hat to the prompt Sake], and Spoken/Unspoken (Day 3) [SaiChi].

Originally, I'd intended each part of this story to be a 500-1000 word piece like Part I—Fear and Courage. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to stop writing once I'd started, so this happened. From time to time, I like to indulge my curiosity—if I can call it that—and write interesting parts of the canon (game) stories from the other point of view. I hope that you enjoy the results.

Part II—An Officer and a Gentleman (Plus One Mad Scientist and a Lady)

(i) Burning Sun

It was not a short walk to the Yukimura Clinic, located as it was near the outskirts of Edo. By the time that Saitō found the small community, and then the modest home, he felt as though the sun was starting to course through his veins along with his tainted blood. Despite a well-deserved reputation for stoicism, Saitō had to concede that the sensation had gone beyond discomfort, although it was not yet at the level of full "bloodlust", as Sannan-san and Heisuke termed that brutal phenomenon.

Saitō had now suffered through bloodlust once, and had been thankful that he had been alone, and that the bout hadn't lasted long. He had avoided telling anybody, since he suspected that the Vice Commander would require him to either sleep during the day, or join the Fury Corps. Since he found being awake during the day mostly tolerable, he saw no reason to increase the burden on Hijikata-san by working only at night. The Shinsengumi leadership was too under-staffed as it was. Hijikata-san knew that he was a fury, of course, but as long as he didn't draw attention to the fact, everyone seemed content to let him continue in his position.

As Saitō approached the Yukimura Clinic, taking in the general disrepair of the front walk and the garden, his thoughts drifted briefly to Sōji, who now resided at Matsumoto-sensei's clinic instead of with the Shinsengumi. It had become something of a warning sign for him, this occasional lapse in concentration; it meant that he needed a break from the direct sunlight, at least, although rest would be better. Sōji seemed to figure often in his thoughts these days, especially in those rare moments when he allowed himself to notice how stretched-thin he felt.

His mind instantly snapped back to the present when the door flew open and Yukimura came stumbling out, eyes wide with panic. Just a step behind her was Yukimura Kōdō-san, the missing creator of the ochimizu. Saitō rushed forward, sword clearing it's sheath with a soft metallic sigh. Without an instant to spare—his task would be much harder if Yukimura were apprehended by the mysterious doctor—Saitō yelled at Yukimura to duck, and swung at her pursuer.

Fortunately, Yukimura ducked—that made things easier; unfortunately, Saitō's blade failed to connect with Kōdō-san. Aches forgotten, Saitō took up a protective stance between Yukimura and her father—her false father, if the Oni Sen-hime were to be believed. He could sense Yukimura get to her feet behind him.

"Saitō-san!"

"You should run, Yukimura," he told her calmly, measuring Kōdō's aggressive posture and almost—crazed?—expression.

"But Saitō-san—"

"Stay behind me then, and do not interfere."

"You will obey your father, Chizuru. I did not raise a disrespectful child." Kōdō didn't move, obviously still assessing his new opponent, but his tone was sharp. "Come here at once!"

"I-I don't know who you are, Father!" Yukimura was plainly agitated. It was an odd thing to say, but there was no doubt a reason. Saitō had found that Yukimura followed a certain consistent internal logic. While he didn't always understand her, neither did he find her capricious.

"I haven't changed, child. Come now, it's time for me to show you your wonderful future!"

"Yukimura Chizuru is under the protection of the Shinsengumi," Saitō stated flatly. "I also have orders to bring you—Yukimura Kōdō-san—to Hijikata-fukuchō and Sannan-sōchō to answer questions."

Kōdō-san smiled politely at him. "Let's see now… Saitō-kun, was it?"

Saitō continued to regard him steadily. He did not trust this man in the slightest, and Yukimura's agitation confirmed that there was something wrong. She'd been looking for her father for years now, and had persisted in her belief that the man who had raised her could not have understood the true horrors of the ochimizu. The Shinsengumi leadership—cynical to a man, with the possible exception of Kondō-kyokuchō—had no such illusions. Even Heisuke harboured the darkest suspicions about the man.

When Saitō's sword remained an uncompromising barrier between them, Kōdō frowned. He might be in some trouble with Kazama-sama, for having ventured out against orders (and found by the Shinsengumi dogs), but a great deal would be forgiven if he brought Chizuru with him.

Saitō heard Yukimura's disbelieving cry of horror when Kōdō's features suddenly seemed to contort and change. The mild brown eyes now glowed pale gold, and sharp white horns protruded from the man's forehead. His sudden grin displayed pointed canines, and both expression and posture reflected contemptuous arrogance. Even as Saitō's stance shifted to full combat-readiness, thin knives appeared as if by magic between Kōdō's fingers.

"You will now witness the glorious strength of the Oni! Before, I had no access to true power. I am no pureblood like Lord Kazama—or like you, Chizuru. But now, my full potential has been unleashed!"

"Father! You've taken the ochimizu? But that's—that's terrible!"

Knives flew at Saitō even before Yukimura—his foster-daughter?—had finished speaking. Despite the short range, Saitō deflected them with ease, remaining solidly between Chizuru and Kōdō. With a hiss of annoyance, the former doctor tried again. And again, Saitō deflected the knives without moving more than his arm and blade.

As the Shinsengumi had found out for themselves, the ochimizu conferred speed and strength—and near-instant healing—but not skill. Serizawa Kamo, originally joint-Commander of the Shinsengumi, had been a brute, both as a man and a leader, but he had been a phenomenal warrior. Once he had taken the ochimizu, it had required several of the current Shinsengumi's strongest officers, and Hijikata-san's best effort, to take him down. Kōdō might be strong and fast, but he was no match for a swordsman of Saitō's ability.

"…Foolish," noted Saitō, in his usual uninflected tones, when Kōdō drew forth yet more knives. He prepared to attack as soon as he had dealt with them.

Disaster struck with the third volley. Saitō remained unhurt, but one of the knives ricocheted back into Kōdō, leaving a long gash that bled freely before beginning to close. The scent of the fresh blood hit Saitō like a tidal wave, leaving him bludgeoned and reeling. The racking pain that he had been keeping at bay exploded within him, and his hands and legs started to tremble. He felt sweat spring up on his forehead as he fought for control. I am master of myself! Ignore the scent, ignore the pain. Protect Yukimura!

"Ahhhhh. I see now. You have drunk the ochimizu—you are already a rasetsu."

Saitō felt the tip of his katana waver drunkenly, as all of his effort went into remaining upright.

"Saito-san," Yukimura whispered nearby, in obvious distress. More distress than fear, noticed some part of Saitō's brain. She always did worry too much about him. It didn't… really… make sense.

With gruelling effort, he brought his blade back up to a guard position.

"My condition… is none of your… concern," he ground out in response to Kōdō.

The doctor-turned-demon cackled in triumph. It was a weird, inhuman sound, and made the situation even more bizarre than it already was.

"I'm surprised you're still standing, Saitō-kun. The sun is very bright and hot today, isn't it?"

It was. Saitō's very skeleton now felt as though it were on fire.

"And the scent of blood is so strong, so wonderful. Don't you crave it? You must. The ochimizu is poison to your frail, human body, and you need blood to ease your pain. The agony is probably driving you mad even now—your body lusts for blood, and your mind is both appalled and desperate to taste it."

He was right. Mostly. Saitō blocked out the words, fought the relentless need to lurch forward and take the blood he needed to end the pain. This is endurable. It must be endured. Instead of falling to his knees as Kōdō probably expected, Saitō's hands tightened on his sword. He would not let this man take Yukimura. He would not lose to the enemy within him.

"Kōdō." Suddenly, there was another Oni present. The deep voice, and massive frame, were all too familiar to Saitō. His eyes might struggle a bit with colour in the daytime now, but the softer light of the moon would show neatly-tied, dark red hair, and cool, summer-blue eyes.

"Lord Amagiri," murmured Kōdō, sounding shocked, even as Saitō thought the name.

Amagiri-san's presence most likely presaged disaster. The powerful Oni would have little difficulty either incapacitating or killing Saitō, in his current condition. But… there was still a vestige of hope. At the very least, Saitō would die fighting an honourable warrior, somebody who would understand who Saitō was.

"Kōdō. You must return at once. Kazama-sama did not sanction this venture."

The bigger Oni examined first Chizuru, then Saitō. His understanding of Saitō's condition was instantaneous, but silent.

"My lord! This man has drunk the ochimizu! He is a Fury! We should make sure that he is no threat to us or our plans."

Even semi-blinded by fierce sunlight, Saitō saw the look of undisguised anger and disgust that Amagiri-san turned on Kōdō. Although the outcome was still not certain, that look gave new life to hope.

"I said that you are to return at once. Kazama-sama will be very displeased with you if he finds out that you have upset Yukimura-sama. Even if you did raise her."

The ensuing silence seemed very long to Saitō, whose body felt as taut as an overdrawn bowstring. He was on his feet, his sword was more or less steady, and Yukimura was safe behind him, but he knew that he didn't have long before collapse. A warrior knew his own body.

Kōdō was clearly on the verge of arguing further with Amagiri-san, when the latter turned his gaze on Saitō. The pale blue eyes seemed somehow… regretful.

"Regardless of any action, or desire, on our part, this man is likely to fall victim to his condition soon enough. Because he is human. Because he is a Fury." Amagiri's voice was soft, but edged; his words were clearly directed at Kōdō.

For a moment, Kōdō looked taken aback, as though some part of Amagiri-san's implicit accusation had reached him. In that moment, Saitō thought he glimpsed the father that Yukimura seemed to remember—the man that he himself had never seen. Then Kōdō's features hardened back into implacable lines. He nodded curtly to Amagiri-san, his obedience a matter of yielding to a greater force, rather than loyalty, or agreement. The two Oni plainly held nothing but contempt for each other. Saitō felt Amagiri-san's regard on him one last time, and with it that same sense of regret, and then he and Yukimura were alone in front of her former residence.

(ii) Healing Moon

The worst of the immediate pain faded then, as most of Kōdō's blood was on the man's clothes. Saitō sheathed his katana, unable to conceal his relief. Then he turned to Yukimura, scanning her for any sign of hurt. She was visibly upset, which was to be expected, but her first words were—as usual—for him.

"Saitō-san, are you hurt?"

"Īe." His firm negative failed to soothe her.

"Then are you ill? Or—of course, the sun is very strong!"

"Yukimura, why did you leave the compound?" Saitō's tone was deliberately harsh. "If it had been Kazama who had arrived instead of me"—or Amagiri-san—"then you would have been taken. Why do you think I stay awake during the day? It is not pleasant." That was unfair, a little, but he was finding it harder than usual to ignore the pain.

Yukimura looked stricken, and bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Saitō-san! I apologize for causing you trouble."

"I do not require your apology. I require your explanation."

She straightened, biting her lip. She was blinking back tears, and it came to him suddenly that despite all that had happened, she was most upset because he was angry at her. His expression was no doubt forbidding.

"Hai." Yukimura's hands twisted together in front of her. "I-I wanted to search the house for any notes that might provide information about the ochimizu. About the Fury transformation really… and how to suppress the side-effects."

"Did Sannan-san ask you to do this?"

"N-no."

"Then why?"

Unaccountably, Yukimura's embarrassment seemed to deepen. "I wanted to help. Because you seemed to be in so much pain, Saitō-san."

Saitō felt his eyes widen, as his expression went from angry to startled. "I did?" He forced his features back to impassivity, so that they would show neither anger, nor surprise. Nor, he hoped, pain.

"Well… yes? It's bad enough that you don't sleep, but you stay awake all day, and I can see that it's—that is, there is discomfort."

Before Saitō could formulate a response, Yukimura squared her shoulders in the way that she always did before speaking her mind in spite of fear or anxiety. Sure enough, she eyed him a little shyly, but added: "Being physically uncomfortable, or in pain, is very tiring. I saw that a great deal when I was growing up. People got better much faster, or at least had more energy, when we—I mean—well, when their bodies were more at ease. So you see—"

"I see." Saitō looked down, both to rest his eyes, and because while he understood her point in a general way, her actions still seemed extreme. Unless she—but that line of thinking was both irrelevant and unproductive. "I left the compound unattended. Do you have further business here?"

Silently, she shook her head. Saitō found it difficult not to respond to the slight hurt in her eyes, but it was better that she learn not to worry about him so much. There was no need, and he still wasn't sure of her motives. No? Really? He ignored his own mocking thoughts—which always took on Sōji's voice these days—and turned to go.

"Ikuzo, Yukimura."

He set off at a moderate pace, and she followed obediently. Three paces, four, five… No, gods, NOT NOW! But the gods weren't listening. Saitō's legs folded under him, and his body convulsed with wracking pain. He clenched his teeth against the cries that sought to escape, and bowed his head until the first wave passed and he could master himself again—at least a little.

"Saitō-san!"

"I… I will be fine. It will pass." His voice rasped and the gasping breaths were unlikely to be reassuring, but he put everything he had into hiding the full extent of his agony. He knew that he had changed into one of them, into what he now was. White hair, red eyes; he'd seen it for himself, the last time. But what to do?

"We should go indoors. That will help, at least a little. Please come with me, Saitō-san!"

She was pleading, but it was unnecessary. Going inside, out of the sunlight, out of sight of passing pedestrians, was the only logical thing to do now. He couldn't bring himself to lean on her—wouldn't—and she seemed to know that. Instead, she made sure that his path was unimpeded, and guided him, somehow, into her home. Former home, some strange part of his mind insisted, but he didn't have enough energy to care why.

Once inside, Saitō found a space that had been recently tidied, and knelt with as much grace as he could muster—not much, he suspected. It was worse than the last time. It felt as if his body were being continuously broken apart and knit back together; it was excruciating. His right hand scrabbled at the left breast of his kimono, as though he could somehow tear the pain out of himself and find relief.

He saw movement from the corner of his eye, and then Yukimura knelt across from him, so close that they were practically touching. He became suddenly, agonizingly aware of the blood that flowed beneath her soft skin. His eyes fastened on the pulse point of her throat, and it took all his will to look away.

"Yukimura… This will pass. Do not… concern yourself." Laughable reassurance, but what else was there? He wanted her to go. Perversely, he also wanted her to stay. He would conquer the pain, outlast it, whether she was there or not. But it would be—and this made no sense—less lonely with her there.

"Take my blood. That's what you need, isn't it? Blood?"

She was even closer now; her scent seemed to surround him. After a moment, he realized that she'd taken his hand and was peering into his face. Their knees were touching. Whether truth or fancy, he saw himself reflected in her wide, anxious eyes—the gleam of white hair, like moonlight on dark water, and two sparks of glowing crimson.

"You are… overreacting. As I said… this will pass. Then we can return."

Her mouth tightened into a straight line. He had never seen her gentle face so uncompromising. Had he looked like that when he tried to keep Kōdō from her? Or Kazama? His fingers dug desperately into his chest; he could feel his nails even through his kimono and sweat-soaked under-kimono. His blood stung and boiled under his skin. His bones continued to stretch and crack and reform; he assumed—hoped—that this was just how he visualized the pain. It was endurable because it had to be endured.

Saitō felt Yukimura's hand lift from his and had to stop himself from reaching after her. It was no doubt better this way, somehow. The sound of a blade leaving its sheath immediately drew his attention, and he stared as Yukimura touched the well-sharpened edge of her kodachi to her finger. Blood instantly welled up from the cut, viscous and red. He swallowed convulsively.

"Saitō-san. Please… This cut is nothing—I'm an Oni, it will heal quickly. So take what you need."

This is wrong. This is not what I want. I want… I want to protect you. His thoughts were confused, almost incoherent. He forced his gaze away from her bleeding finger, trying to think rationally. Rationally, it made sense. Blood would allow him to function more efficiently. According to the little—the very little—that Heisuke would say on the subject, those who drank blood remained in control of themselves for longer and with less effort. However, something in what he hadn't said suggested that there was a price to pay. Also, if it was the pain that drove furies mad—and the constant anticipation of pain—then surely a strong man, who wasn't afraid of pain, could do well enough without blood? But… almost everyone broke under torture, eventually. Saitō was uncomfortably aware of that truth.

He finally met Yukimura's eyes again. She wasn't afraid—not of him, not of what he might do. She wanted him to do this. The combination of that determined—almost affectionate?—gaze, and practical reality, decided him.

Oddly, the ache in his body seemed to fade a little just by making the decision. Awkwardly, feeling all the strangeness of the situation, Saitō lowered his mouth to Yukimura's finger. He tentatively tasted the blood, and had to pause a moment to contain the rush of feelings and sensation. It was tremendously disconcerting, and he automatically sought to conceal his reaction. His body craved the blood—and it was sweet beyond words, her blood. But there was more to it than that. It was as though he hadn't quite realized how intimate this was. He—

"Saitō-san?"

He raised his head immediately, once more searching her expression. Yukimura looked puzzled and concerned. Her cheeks were flushed, but he lacked the perception just now to divine the reason. Was she in pain?

"Does it hurt? Your finger?" His voice was raspy, but sounded moderately polite, and only a little more uncertain than usual. Good.

"Oh—no, no, not at all!" She smiled at him, and he immediately forgave her the lie. Why shouldn't she be allowed the same pride as any other? "But, um, you stopped."

"I see." He gently took her hand in his, and once again pressed his lips to the cut. This time, he was better prepared, his emotions better-controlled. Bit by bit, as he carefully sucked at her finger, the worst of the pain subsided. It made it more difficult to ignore other sensations, and he hoped that she wouldn't be able to tell how arousing this was—to be so close, to be sharing something so private. He kept his eyes mostly closed, so that he wouldn't accidentally meet her gaze and embarrass them both.

As soon as he could bear to stop, he forced himself to allow the cut to heal completely, and slowly lifted his mouth from her small hand. It wasn't the blood that was so difficult to give up, although the Fury within him would gladly have taken more, it was the touching. The whole time that his lips had been against her skin, it had seemed as though they were in their own safe, quiet place—a place of moonlight, and cool night air, and soft colours. He couldn't understand it, and it bothered him. He had come to guard her, and yet she had been his refuge in a way he couldn't explain.

What's more, there was nothing muted about the way that his heart was hammering in his chest. The coil of tension low in his abdomen, and lower still, was all heat. It wasn't an unknown sensation, but neither was it entirely familiar. Saitō strongly preferred sake to other outlets for stress, and on the rare occasions that he had been troubled by lust, it hadn't been especially difficult to set aside in favour of drills, or meditation, or drinking. Drinking provided the illusion of intimacy without requiring the real thing, physical or otherwise. And yet he here was, caught up in the desire for both physical and emotional comfort, or something like it. His mind presented possibilities for tongues and lips that had nothing to do with his condition as a Fury.

He turned away as he let go of Yukimura's hand, and forced himself to accept what had happened as no more than a rational response to necessity, followed by understandable embarrassment. It was a strange situation, after all, so it made sense that it had elicited unusual reactions. An important measure of calm returned as he straightened scarf, kimono, and sash; later, he would change the sweat-soaked under-kimono. A quick glance at the low pony-tail on his shoulder confirmed that his hair was no longer white. Then he faced Yukimura, although he wasn't quite sure what to say.

Her expression was at once shy, flustered, and determined. He had no idea what she was thinking.

"How is your finger, Yukimura?" Idiotic, perhaps, but at least reasonably conventional. He wished again that she hadn't witnessed his struggle with the bloodlust. He suspected that he was blushing, and found himself looking away.

"Oh, it's fine! Really!" Bright words, and this time mostly truthful. She wasn't in pain, but he could tell that she was—they both were—distinctly self-conscious.

After a moment's thought, he looked back at her, shoved aside the strange desire to take her in his arms, and reiterated his most pressing concern.

"I left headquarters unattended by any command-rank officer. We must go."

Yukimura blinked, no doubt taken aback by his curtness. He—once again—regretted the slight hurt in her expression, but it was better than how she would look at him if she knew that he had contemplated far from honourable possibilities.

"Alright, Saitō-san. As long as you have recovered enough?"

"I am fine."

She gave him one last, doubtful look, and then nodded. In response, Saitō pushed open the door, and stepped through into the burning heat of the sun. Fortunately, it was nowhere near as difficult to bear as it had been before. He glanced over his shoulder at Yukimura as they hurried away from her childhood home. She looked a little wistful, and he assumed it was sadness over Kōdō's cruel behaviour—after all, she had waited a long time for their happy reunion.

He would have been very taken aback to know that her thoughts were entirely on the indigo-haired man walking just ahead of her. Whatever happened, she was determined to do her best for him. Saitō-san had come to mean the world to her. Maybe one day, she would find a way to tell him so.

[END]

Tags: @canadiangaap @shell-senji @hidetheremote @sabinasanfanfic @nalufever @fic-writer-appreciation @cherryb0mb79 @very-x-vice @nollatooru @optionalpoodle

[msterofnone-blog]

jack rider ; intro, stats, verses & connections

JACK RIDER looks an awful lot like ALEX TURNER. HE/HIM are/is TWENTY NINE and while they’re FRIENDLY, they have a tendency to get pretty UNMOTIVATED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HAND IN GLOVE by THE SMITHS.

- first of all; no matter who you are or what you want, jack rider doesn’t give a shit

- he will act friendly to everybody around him & is well known, but not well liked, more feared; everybody knows that he talks shit about them behind their backs as soon as they walk away

- he was born in manchester, england & his family moved to kola when he was 10; his mother had dreams (delusions) of making it big in hollywood, and was always distant from him, and when her plans didn’t work out, she grew more and more detached from the family. they had to stay as his dad, the realist, had set up his own repair shop to sustain them - his parents stayed together but his dad worked himself to the point of exhaustion whilst his mother would sit by the window every day, unspeaking; they passed away with a month of one another when jack was 18

- he’s a mechanic in kola & fixes cars just as his dad did (i had the greaser thing planned before the greaser anon & now i feel bad) so again he comes into contact with a lot of people - this business progressed into something more as he got older

- working with cars, his first foray into the criminal world was as a getaway driver (baby driver anyone?) but he was about 18 and still pretty new, but he wanted to be something more than his dad had been so he stuck with it and made his way up through the ranks

- he now works with the gang he was first involved with in dealing through his repair shop, but its more of an open secret

- at 29, he should be getting a little restless about his future but he’s never looked to settle down, and will loudly (obnoxiously) pronounce that love does not exist - at least not for men like him

FULL NAME: jack rider PRONUNCIATION: ja-c rye-der MEANING: any man REASONING: not the type of parents to think too deeply about his name rly NICKNAME(S): ponyboy (ANYONE) PREFERRED NAME(S): jack BIRTH DATE: november 2nd 1989 AGE: 29 ZODIAC: scorpio  GENDER: male PRONOUNS: he/him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual NATIONALITY: british ETHNICITY: white british CURRENT LOCATION: kola, california LIVING CONDITIONS: lives above his repair shop in an outdated flat; really only uses it to sleep in & takes no pride in looking after it

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: manchester royal infirmary, manchester, england  HOMETOWN: machester, england  SOCIAL CLASS: lower EDUCATION LEVEL: finished high school FATHER: paul rider MOTHER: flora rider SIBLING(S): n/a CHILDREN: n/a PET(S): n/a  OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: n/a PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: never ever one to commit so has never had anything serious  ARRESTS?: countless  PRISON TIME?: 6 months

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: fixing cars  SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: dealing  APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: $30k CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: he’s convinced himself he is & has become somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy - he used to dream of being a writer when he was much much younger & breaking out of the cycle of the men in his family; it didn’t happen PAST JOB(S): always been an apprentice to his father, who also fixed cars SPENDING HABITS: too much on cigarettes, not on the essentials  MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: his chevrolet 

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: fairly strong INTELLIGENCE: used to read a lot but hasn’t in over 10 years, a mediocre writer who never got the chance to improve  TALENTS: very good mechanic   SHORTCOMINGS: anything with numbers - he always works things out by eye  LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english DRIVE?: yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: no SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: barely plays guitar  PLAY CHESS?: no BRAID HAIR?: yes - used to braid his mothers hair  TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: alex turner  EYE COLOR: brown HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: greased back always  GLASSES/CONTACTS?: nope  DOMINANT HAND: right  HEIGHT: 5′8″ WEIGHT: 156 lbs EXERCISE HABITS: lifting heavy weights when he works on cars but that’s about it SKIN TONE: on the paler side TATTOOS: 3 PEIRCINGS: one ear MARKS/SCARS: a scar on his shoulder from an ‘accident at work’ NOTABLE FEATURES: he use looks a bit mean most of the time really USUAL EXPRESSION: looking mean CLOTHING STYLE: old style greaser - the same as his father JEWELRY: rings when he’s not working & a watch ALLERGIES: n/a DIET: baD PHYSICAL AILMENTS: n/a

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: entj MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral TEMPERAMENT: sanguine ELEMENT: fire APPROXIMATE IQ: 95 MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: n/a OBSESSION(S): appearing unbothered by everything COMPULSION(S): checking his hair PHOBIA(S): relationships??? honestly  ADDICTION(S): smoking DRUG USE: he deals but won’t do anything he deals ALCOHOL USE: too much PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: too much 

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: a bit too loud and cocky  ACCENT: manchester  HOBBIES: trying in his very little spare time to play guitar but not telling anybody HABITS: smoking NERVOUS TICKS: his foot starts tapping DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: not many at all; lives day to day FEARS: being alone with himself  POSITIVE TRAITS:  funny, friendly & loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: violent, closed-off emotionally & judgemental  SENSE OF HUMOR: he’s funny ngl DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: yeah CATCHPHRASE(S): ‘jack of all trades’

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: working on cars ANIMAL: dogs BEVERAGE: whiskey  BOOK: to kill a mockingbird - harper lee CELEBRITY: mick jagger COLOR: black DESIGNER: he ain’t got a clue FOOD: bacon sandwiches  FLOWER: orchids GEM: ruby HOLIDAY:  he gets the most business (wink wink) around new year MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: ...cars MOVIE: the outsiders  MUSICAL ARTIST: the clash QUOTE/SAYING: ‘stay gold’  SCENERY: countryside SCENT: cinnamon  SPORT: football SPORTS TEAM: manchester united  TELEVISION SHOW: black mirror  WEATHER: rain VACATION DESTINATION: back home to britain

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: he has none )-: it was to write & escape what seemed to be laid out for him... it didn’t happen GREATEST FEAR: being forgotten about MOST AT EASE WHEN: working in his shop LEAST AT EASE WHEN: by himself WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: he lost his shop BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: fixing up a car on his own for his dad BIGGEST REGRET: not getting his mother to engage with him - not trying harder to MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: throwing a screwdriver at who he thought was his friend... it wasn’t... hospital happened BIGGEST SECRET: that he used to want to write  TOP PRIORITIES: making money 

&. VERSES

none yet!! working on it

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

i wanna be yours - jack fiercely disbelieves in love, and this person makes him question this long held belief (partners in crime)

leave before the lights come on - somebody jack’s being seeing for months, unwittingly (or perhaps wittingly) leading them on without seeing it as anything near serious

bigger boys & stolen sweethearts - the two used to play make believe together when they were young before one of them moved away - they’d made a pact to marry one another at 6 years old & now jack ( the love non-believer remember ) has been invited to their wedding

PLATONIC.

red light indicates doors are secure - somebody else in the same gang as jack; they’re close & watch each others backs

only ones who know - somebody who often visits his repair shop & their company & conversation lets him escape to normalcy for a few hours a week ( could become romantic!! )

fake tales of san francisco - jack finished high school but only just & has forgotten his love for words - somebody smart stumbles into his life and helps him reignite his interest ( in private, of course ) 

ENEMIES.

dangerous animals - member/s of rival gang/s cos we been knew my boy likes to fight

do me a favour - an ex from a very turbulent relationship whom jack probably hurt very badly & left without much of a thought 

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

none!!

PLATONIC.

none!!

ENEMIES.

none!!

[gyrlversion]

Meet The Women Who Toppled Puerto Ricos Governor

By Yarimar Bonilla

Sandra Rodriguez Cotto views her job as a journalist and a radio host in Puerto Rico as that of being a spark. “I find out about things and pass them on so others can disseminate them,” she told MTV News. She doesn’t consider herself an influencer, but more of a provocateur. But for women, that task can lead to erasure down the line: even if they are the first to put out a message, it is often others who are recognized for the work of moving that message forward.

But there’s no chance of that happening this time: On Saturday, July 13, several journalists, including Rodriguez Cotto, leaked 11 pages of a governmental Telegram chat to the public. They were just a few of the many powerful women who helped bring down Puerto Rico’s governor and hold the island accountable to change that actually benefits its people.

For her coverage of the leak, Rodriguez Cotto, who runs the blog En Blanco Y Negro, focused her reporting on officials’ use of misogynistic language and the threat of violence against women in the cat. As she and others reported, Rosselló repeatedly referred to women in the opposition as “putas” (the Spanish slur for prostitute) and one of his advisors made crude comments about gunning down Carmen Yulín Cruz, the mayor of San Juan.

The public responded by protesting for nearly two weeks and, on July 25, Puerto Rico’s Governor Ricardo Rosselló resigned from public office via Facebook Live. His unprecedented resignation was the result of massive public pressure from broad sectors of civil society, including international celebrities like Ricky Martin, Bad Bunny, iLe, and Residente.

All of them had their reasons to protest: Among other outrages, the chats mocked the victims and survivors of Hurricane Maria. In one exchange, then-governor Rosselló joked about the cadavers that had been piling up at the public morgue during and after the storm, prompting one of his aids to joke about using the morgues as bait for the administration’s enemies, writing: “Don’t we have some cadavers to feed our crows?” To this day, neither the U.S. government nor the government of Puerto Rico have publicly acknowledged that over 3,000 people died as a result of the storm and the subsequent systemic failure to help Puerto Ricans in need.

The Puerto Rican government had been failing its citizens long before the hurricane. The released chat, with its misogynistic and homophobic language, pointed to some of those trends: According to an ACLU report, Puerto Rico has the highest per capita rate in the world of femicides, specifically of women killed by their partners. While Rossello’s administration makes light of gender violence behind closed doors, local feminists groups have long been calling for greater governmental attention to these issues. One group, Colectiva Feminista en Construcción has been particularly active in the battle against gender violence both before and after Hurricane Maria; as a result, they were directly targeted in the governor’s chat for their efforts to hold the government accountable for the gender-based violence crisis.

It was La Colectiva who first called for protests against the governor, including the massive march held in response to the chat on Wednesday, July 17, which was later joined by international celebrities. They were also the first to stage cacerolazos (protests with pots and pans); in November 2018, they camped out outside the governor’s mansion, in what they called a plantón, to demand that he declare a state of emergency around gender violence, thus turning this space into a site of resistance long before the current protests.

The administration’s blatant disregard for the livelihoods of the members of her community inspired journalists like Rodriguez Cotto to fight for Puerto Rico: After Hurricane Maria, she served as one of the main sources of information on the island for WAPA radio when residents found themselves with no electricity or cell phone service. She used her platform to tell the stories of women in particular who were deeply affected by the storm, particularly those who were victims of domestic violence and who found themselves doubly vulnerable in the midst of the disaster.

Alana Cassanova Borges

Because of her reporting, Rodriguez Cotto became a target: Her home was broken into, and she feared for her safety and that of her daughter. Despite it all, she has continued to report on government corruption and gender violence on En Blanco y Negro, and during her radio show on Red Informativa.

But fear of retaliation isn’t stopping the women-led independent journalists who have continued to push their stories to the next level. After the original 11 pages of chats circulated in the press, the Center for Investigative Journalism published nearly a thousand additional pages of damning messages. “The decision to publish it was made collectively,” Omaya Sosa Pascual, one of the CPI’s founding directors, told MTV News, adding that the CPI had received the initial chat leaks but held back from publishing until they could see the full context. “We knew there was much more than what was originally unveiled, and our interest was always in the possible illegalities and unethical activity that the chat might reveal.” Once they received the full chat, CPI executive director Carla Minet decided that they would not just publish snippets, but release the full chat online for all to read along with their own investigation into government corruption.

It wasn’t the CPI’s first time breaking stories. The women-led organization has earned an important reputation in Puerto Rico for its in-depth reporting and unveiling of government mismanagement, notably leading the charge in the wake of Hurricane Maria to counter the official cover-up that claimed a death toll of 16 for months, while many could tell from their own personal experience that the truth was exponentially larger. (To this day, the local government refuses to do a full accounting of those that were lost to the storm. All that exists are statistical analyses which suggest that thousands more died the year of Hurricane Maria than would have died in a normal year.) The group eventually created an interactive website designed to preserve individual stories of hurricane victims; the names and individual stories of those who were lost have primarily been honored through the individual efforts of the CPI and other independent journalists.

The full chats came full-circle for Lourdes Muriente, a practicing attorney in San Juan, when she learned that the governor had made light of her former husband, Carlos Gallisá, a prominent activist and political leader on the island who died of cancer in 2018. In response, she and two other women marched into government buildings and began taking the official portrait of the governor off the wall. Videos of their actions soon went viral, inspiring cartoons and copycat actions.

One of the women who joined her was 70-year-old Abigail Ramos, who says that the information drop had a deep impact on her: “I suddenly felt this pain that was not just emotional but also physical. It hurt me physically, I was nauseated. It was just too much,” she told MTV News. She had flashbacks of those she had met who had struggled caring for sick loved ones without electricity or running water for months on end and of friends who were struggling with reduced pensions due to the island’s long-standing financial crisis. “I have a group of friends who are government retirees, who have limited pensions and they have already have had their pensions cut by the government… And for what? To steal? To take money away from schools and the university?” The idea of the governor laughing from the safety of his mansion while many Puerto Ricans struggled with the impact of Maria, compounded by the larger economic crisis, was too much for her to bear.

The persistent silence around the people who were lost in the wake of Hurricane Maria, the insurmountable challenge of mourning them properly, and the blatant disrespect from their governmental officials has been a sore point for local residents in particular. At the rallies, many carried pictures of those they had lost along with personal stories of friends and family who did not survive the storm. The indignation was key to mobilizing the protestors and ignited a fire within the younger generation of Puerto Ricans, many of whom were not even able to vote in the last election.

Among that group was Aliana Bigio Alcoba, a 21-year-old student at the University of Puerto Rico, who runs a Facebook and Instagram site called Con-Sentimiento (a double entendre in Spanish which means consent but also “with sentiment”). She began the site to launch conversations about feminism, gender binaries, and hot-button issues such as abortion. After the first leak, she gathered a group of young women outside the governor’s mansion to protest after the first leak. The group, which took on the name Mujeres en Resistencia, placed duct tape on their mouths as symbols of repression and staged a silent protest to demand the governor’s removal. They also brought published copies of the governor’s chat with them so that visitors to Old San Juan, many of whom were unaware of the actual content of the conversations, could read the messages for themselves.

Another group of young women turned to make-up and body paint to express their discontent and used their bodies as political canvases. They drew international attention for their work and soon became known as las hijas de la crisis (the daughters of the crisis), a name that captures how the current movement spans beyond the governor’s chats and even the crisis of Maria. It tunnels through to a deeper nerve among young Puerto Ricans who are struggling to make the island a place where they can live, dream, and create a new future.

Makeup artist Melanie Rodriguez Rosado began by painting protestor Anamar Pérez-Green, who became the canvas for a Puerto Rican flag lit up in flames. Rodriguez Rosado placed tape covered in drawings of barbed wire across Pérez-Green’s mouth and paired it with smeared black eye makeup streaming down her face. Pérez-Green also wrote the word “puta” across her buttocks, and used her back as a message board so that protestors could write their own messages to the governor. Participants filled her back with choice words borrowed from the chat and messages such as “No more abuse!” and “Resign!” The final look served as a symbol for the pain and emotion felt by protesting, and Puerto Ricans at large; images and videos of Pérez-Green taken by photographer Valeria Martínez-Marrero quickly went viral.

Days later, an iconic image began to circulate of eight girls who together symbolized various aspects of the protests. One was dressed as a white and black Puerto Rican flag, the symbol of resistance; another was painted as a rainbow flag to symbolize inclusivity. A girl painted as a skeleton represented those lost during Maria, who were ever-present in the protest. Other girls bore insults from the infamous leaked chat. Together, they looked like a new band of superheroes for Puerto Rico’s future.

As Bigio explained in a podcast interview, this new generation of girls are a product of Puerto Rico’s current political climate: “I don’t remember, ever since I was a kid, living in a period not characterized by crisis.”

“We have inherited a debt that we did not create and we live carrying a weight that should not be our responsibility,” she added in a post for the feminist website Todas. “We do not rest because of the anxiety of what will or will not be our ‘future.’”

“It is important that my generation become informed and express themselves politically starting now,” said 14-year-old Lorena Isabel Torres Negrón. The accomplished ballet dancer attended the protests with her parents and two brothers because she felt that it was important to be involved in whatever way she can be. “We are the future, but we have to start becoming informed now. If we wait until we are old enough to vote they will deceive us and everything will be worse,” she added.

“We are not only here for ourselves but also for our parents, who pay taxes,” Lorena said, adding, “It’s not just about us but about defending our country.”

Benjamin Torres Gotay

Bigio agrees that Puerto Rico’s future is in the hands of this new generation. She worries that young people are being forced into greater and greater debt as the university becomes less accessible due to budget cuts and decreased financial aid to athletes and others in the wake of the financial crisis. But she insists that given all these hardships, Puerto Rican young people have nothing to lose.

“We have to go out and take back the country they tried to destroy, always remembering that the resignation of former Governor Ricardo Rosselló is not the end of this fight, but only the beginning,” she wrote for Todas. “We have a lot that needs cleaning up and the young people of this country are ready with broom and dustpan in hand. In the streets, at the polls, in the university, in our homes, and on social media, we will continue to hacer patria and demand a better Puerto Rico for us all.”

The post Meet The Women Who Toppled Puerto Ricos Governor appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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[wildcardwriting]

Caught in a Loop#2

[Katekyo Hitman Reborn]

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Caught in a Loop on AO3

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: He's been stuck in a loop, living his life over and over again. But maybe this time he'll get it right. GEN.

Warnings: cursing, mafia, some darker themes. and some very vague hint of past pairings (so vague you'd need an electron microscope to find them), but no obvious romance in this fiction. You have been warned.

Capitolo Due: Sky Dawns Early

Unfortunately, things didn't get interesting.

Class continued as the day went on. Teachers coming in and out, leaving test papers and lectures, which Tsuna took absolutely no part in. His reputation of being Dame-Tsuna was for once, working for him, as none of the teachers saw any reason to ask him questions, he probably just get wrong anyway.

So, Tsuna was free to think, and doodle on his notebooks as the clock tick forward slowly.

Reborn hadn't arrived yet by the time noon came around so the school day was just short of being boring (except for those times when Ryohei's loud tones echoed throughout the school followed by loud thuds - no doubt the work of his irritable cloud guardian).

Kyoya- Hibari-san hadn't approached him either, surprisingly, and had watched him from the corners of the school corridors during the passing between classes (he ignored the way this reminded of another guardian), instead of openly trying to challenge him like he'd expected.

And so with nothing to do, his mind wandered a bit thinking about his situation.

Every time he started a new repeat, there was always something slightly different that happened. Last time, Enma's acceptance to Namimori was delayed so the Trials happened later, which meant a certain someone had to explain to Mama why Tsuna was going to Italy unannounced.

And the time before that was a hit that happened while his mother was home (an evil smirk inched onto his face at the conversation had resulted, especially considering how bad Iemitsu was at lying to his wife).

Still, those were tiny things, insignificant ones, that never compared to his family's reaction when they found out.

Because if nothing else, that was a constant.

They always, without a doubt found out.

Reborn liked secrets just as much as failing missions - that is to say, not at all. He wouldn't react well this time either, but there was little he could do about it. Tenth Generation Boss or not, he was terrible at lies. Eventually, he knew someone would question his skill at fighting, or at school or something or other and then he'd be forced to explain.

Usually, it was it was Reborn or Mukuro who'd see something was off, and forcibly confront him about it, but there had been exceptions. There was one particular repeat where Hayato tried to interrogate him while apologizing, only to run off before he had said anything, had stood out in his mind, a smile inching itself onto his face.

Living through all these repeats may have given him a significant advantage over his many allies and enemies, but at the end of the day he simply felt trapped, and so very tired.

He ran a hand through his hair pushing the thoughts away.

Until, something changed there was nothing he could do.

There was no point in getting over upset over things he couldn't change.

"Gao..." Natsu whimpered, from his hand.

Tsuna touched the silver ring, comforting his partner.

As sad and as frustrating as it was to be stuck, it wasn't hopeless. He had accomplished so many things and helped so many people. He could and wouldn't give up yet. There was still hope-

"Forget it, Sanada answer." The teacher said shaking her head as yet another student tried and failed to correctly answer the question on the board.

He glanced up to the front of the room.

None of his teachers reprimand him for not paying attention, even though it was obvious he was not listening to them (since his second class, he had stopped taking out his textbooks). No one looked surprised when the teacher skipped him, all of his classmates likely assuming that even had he been paying attention he wouldn't accomplish anything. And they'd have been right if he hadn't gone through the repeats, but he wouldn't be able to.

Still, even if he was a great deal smarter than he had been the first time, he was content to progress at a reasonable speed. If his marks suddenly went up too fast, he'd have Reborn, and his father on his back before long wondering if perhaps he was some sort of mafia spy or something.

The thought of such an idea nearly made him laugh.

If he had been a spy, even a weak, dumb one, would know that drawing attention to himself would've given himself away. The same logic for a better assassin.

Besides what mafia secrets could he hope to gain from living with his mother? She was as clueless as they came about her husband's profession (he ignores the part of himself that wonders if perhaps his mother must be blind or something equally severe, because there was no way any normal person could not see the weapons and torture that Reborn integrated and mistaken it for magic tricks) so the likelihood of there being any top secrets in the household was zero to none.

Iemitsu may have been a terrible a father, but he was an excellent mafioso.

"Class dismissed." The teacher said bowing from the podium.

Tsuna bowed with the rest of his class before sliding his notebooks into his backpack and walking out. There were a few students lingering in the hallways here and there, but for the most part, the hallways were empty, many of his fellow classmates having gone to a club or home instead of sticking around.

There were a few snickers here and there, but they were background noise, that Tsuna ignored, as he glanced at the test sheet in his left hand. On it there was a grade in red, a bright eighty-nine stared back at him contrary to his usual zero's and twenties. Even his classmates, most of whom were little better than bullies, had nothing good to say about Tsuna's marked improvement when the test had been passed back mid-day. Most of them whispered of cheating and expensive tutors because there was obviously there was no way Dame-Tsuna had actually passed.

Tsuna had nearly laughed when he had heard it.

If only they knew...

Even with Reborn's harsh training, school had never really been his forte. Back in the first repeats, he'd tried differently, pouring over textbooks, and books from the library till his fingers bled, learning as much as he could, as well as he could hoping for an escape. But like all those other times, he learned slowly.

Incredibly so.

If anything, he was better at fighting and likely would be for the foreseeable future.

Still, if nothing else his mother would be happy-

A chill down his spine, as something set off his hyper intuition. He glanced around searching for the danger before it clicked.

If there was no visible danger, then-

He sped off down the street, turning sharply and sliding on the cement.

-the danger was farther away.

A bullet whizzed past him, into the wall, as he ran, crisscrossing behind stone walls, and garbage cans. He ignored the rips and patches of dirt on his uniform pants, and took cover as much as he could, when and where possible. The cold feeling in his stomach worsened as he neared his house. A feeling of anger and disappointment crawling up in him.

About a dozen yards away, situated on top of an abandoned house, and covered by some trees there was a shooter.

Apparently, Iemitsu had been slacking off, either in ensuring there were patrols around his house or someone had successfully hacked the CEDEF system again, which meant that Iemitsu had screwed up somehow.

If Tsuna hadn't been trapped in a repeat, he and his mother would most likely be dead.

Or at the very least he, himself would be seriously injured.

He wasn't very clear on the specifics considering he wasn't sure if the shooter was Reborn or some Vongola enemy.

There was still a chance this was a test from his former/current tutor, but until he was able to get some bearing on the shooter, he wouldn't know for sure.

Either way, was this was a change from the original timeline, perhaps as a result of his actions, though not uncommon tend to happen every so often through the timelines, usually in the form of new test of Reborn's or an assassination. Most of the time, this took place after Reborn crashed landed into his life, but there were a few exceptions. These changes often signaled a dangerous, twist in the timeline that he'd have to watch out for just in case.

Dropping his school bag to the ground and throwing off his jacket, he crouched, jumping over the side wall, the bullets flying. He landed clumsily, his body still not used to the workout he was putting through and rolled behind a tree. Instead of entering through the front gate - a place with no cover - Tsuna took refuge in the back yard, eyes scanning for the next attack.

Glancing at the hole made by the bullet, the pieces were slowly coming together.

He dropped to the ground as a bullet went past him, barely missing his head by inches.

Ducking behind the trash cans to his left he scoped out his surroundings, seeing the scope's glint of light move across a rooftop and his conclusion clear.

It wasn't Reborn, nor any of the other arcobaleno.

Had it been, the shot would have been cleaner and more accurate with the help of flames. Even Fon who specialized in martial arts knew how to handle a gun (though he loathed to use it), and could shoot a bullet better than most. The fact that the shot was clumsy and flame free meant it was probably the work of one of those amateur assassins for hire. Probably a freelance agent who couldn't shoot for anything, and didn't have the skill to join a famiglia. The possibility was also good that the assassin didn't know he was a candidate for Vongola Decimo or connected to the Vongola.

Weak and expendable, if anyone found out, the mastermind responsible could plead ignorance and if the assassin was lucky, he would get rid of a candidate for Vongola, crippling the strongest mafia famiglia. It was a decent plan, killing several birds with one stone.

Classic mafia thinking.

He frowned, still a bit upset, that someone had managed to crack through Iemitsu's iron defenses so completely that his mother and he were in real danger. He was not happy with his father.

First for letting this happened, and second for not being vigilant enough to stop it.

But that wasn't even the worst part of all this.

If even a lowly assassin of this caliber was targeting his family, things were going to get messy and fast. Before long he'd have to be fighting off dozens of these assassins until Iemitsu got his shit together, and actually did something about it. Sure, Reborn could dispatch all if not most of them, but it wasn't the Sun Arcobaleno's job to defend the Sawada Family, it was Iemitu's.

Whether that protection be in the form of a tighter security detail around, better firewalls or a combination of both, Tsuna didn't care, but something was going to change.

And if it took a phone call from him to get Iemitsu to move, he do it in a heartbeat.

But that was something to do later.

For now, he needed to deal with his would-be-killer.

He dived behind another wall, neatly (though exhausting) escaping through the rain of bullets, most of which were badly aimed. Various objects around him become full of bullets, a few of which smashed through the windows on the first floor, while a few embed themselves into the old tree in a neighbor's yard.

He was more worried about getting hit with the ricochet then he was from the assassin, though he still dodged diligently, ensuring he made no mistakes. Cautious people tend to stay alive in the mafia world.

He glanced at the bullet holes from the corner of his eyes, sighing. It was going to be a pain to clean up later.

"Tsu-kun? Is that you?" A voice called from inside, making his blood run cold.

He could almost hear her walking to the front door. If he didn't do something, there was a good possibility she could be hurt. Fumbling for a reason to keep her inside. He said the first thing he could think of.

"Yes, mama. I'm just going to run back to school! I forgot my test sheet!" He yelled, ducking down behind a trash can.

"Okay, be back soon!" She replied, footsteps stopping only feet from the mess taking place in the backyard and walking off to do something. Thankfully she didn't peak out the front door, as she habitually did to wave good-bye to him.

He waited for a second more to be sure she wasn't going to return before he lit Natsu's ring in sky flames. His partner appeared in a bright orange light, as he landed neatly on his shoulder.

"Gao!" Natsu growled, visibly more upset about the situation than he was, though that was normally the case.

Casting aside his anger, he glanced out of his hiding spot, taking great care to stay covered as he moved forward.

He needed to finish this quickly if he didn't want his mother getting involved. If she got injured there'd be hell to pay. He really didn't feel like having his life uprooted to Italy yet because Iemitsu was paranoid and stupid.

Still, there was also the problem of his current physical endurance. Without Reborn's training his body was a lot weaker, so hyper dying will mode was beyond him for the moment, as well as anything too fighting intensive.

For now, he'd have to go without and depend solely on his flames. In this era, only the bosses of mafia famiglia knew about flames, so he had an advantage.

"Let's go Natsu." He said, "Cambio Forma; Solo."

He watching as his friend circled around his arms transforming into a white spiral.

Although, Natsu was made to be used with the Vongola Sky Ring, it could be used without it. Instead of forming the on his non-existent x-gloves attachments, Natsu transformed into a set of orange gauntlets. A black outline ran down the length of them as they end a little shorter than his elbows, dark gray thin material on his hands instead of hard metal.

Lighting up for a second, the gauntlets loaded.

He dashed out into a small alleyway, feet from his house, and raced down the road, away from his mother. He crisscrossed into several more little alleyways, eventually making his way down the road. There were no bystanders lurking about luckily, and he skids through the rain of bullets, sidestepping them while ducking for cover.

Finally, he managed to enter into the abandon apartment complex where the assassin was lying in wait. Surveying the rooms one at a time, he moved level by level, making certain, the assassin didn't have any surprises waiting for him.

It took some time but it paid off as Tsuna was finally situated outside the room where the hitman was stationed.

Leaning against the wall on the right side of the doorway, he threw open the door keeping cover by the wall attached to the door frame. Instantly a volley of bullets dug themselves into the adjacent wall. Right, were Tsuna would have been standing if he had opened the door normally.

Tsuna waited for the barrage of bullets to stop before he slides into the room, the bullets flying over him as he shifted to his feet, and behind a stack of boxes to the killer's right. Using it as a refuge Tsuna climbed it as sniper ammunition clipped the boxes sides.

Jumping over it Tsuna flew over the assassin's head, shots ricocheting off the metal of his gauntlets and the ceiling, as he landed feet on his enemy. The gun went flying against the wall, as both of them fell to the ground. Putting a few feet between each other Tsuna recovered first. The assassin was faster though and pulled two small hand held guns from his side pockets and started firing frantically. His aim off by a large extent.

Tsuna step-sided the shots gracefully and skid in front of the assassin, slamming his fist into the killer's stomach, throwing him clear across the room as a loud powerful bang, echoed through the silence.

The man fell to the floor like a brick, unconscious, and still. Small wisps of smoke coming from his chest were already visible burns were forming. Tiny embers of reddish-orange flames were cooling on both the assassin's clothes and the floor.

His gauntlets may not have been as powerful as his gloves, but they granted versatility in ways his x-gloves couldn't.

Still, that left one problem.

"What do I do with you?" He asked kneeling down.

He rolled the man over, patting his clothes down as he threw out a few more guns. It was better to be safe than sorry.

He had learned his lesson a few repeats ago when he had let his guard down and had half his side blown off. He didn't need to learn the lesson twice. Or feel the pain again.

He could kill them man but, he'd prefer not to. Even as immersed into the mafia world as he was he hated killing. Besides, hiding the body would take connections he didn't have at the moment, and if the Discipline Committee got word of this he had no doubt that a certain carnivore would be after him (for disturbing the peace of Namimori, if not outright challenging him to see how skilled he was to take down an assassin) or the CEDEF would start asking questions.

Either way, he wouldn't enjoy the outcome.

It was one thing to have his cloud guardian curious about him, but it was another to have Hibari Kyoya on the war path looking for a fight.

So, he needed to decide what he was going to do before the hitman woke-

A series of tire screeches and his hyper intuition flared, as dark vans pulled up in front of the building. He moved from his position on the floor to by the window. He could see the cars - Mafia vehicles - surrounding the building, with a very familiar crest etched on the passenger side door.

It was the crest of CEDEF.

He cursed.

The last thing he needed was to be found by his father's lackeys. If word got back to the Ninth, he'd have more to worry about then a battle hungry Hibari Kyoya. He'd have the half Vongola famiglia breathing down his neck for answers.

Answers, he doubted he felt like giving at the second.

He had no desire to spend the next few months in the Vongola Dungeons.

He needed to leave.

Now.

Climbing onto the window opposite the vans, he climbed out onto a rusted vent pipe on the side of the building, sliding down until he hit the ground. The pipe crashing into pieces on the ground.

Still, even with the noise, the pipe was creating, he could hear the CEDEF charging inside, slamming doors, and setting up a perimeter. There were several directives being called out as well as a string of Italian curses as Iemitsu's subordinates made their way through the building.

He ran off into a side street, taking great care to avoid getting caught by the lookouts, or the camera's from a nearby street - those would be deleted later after the CEDEF confiscated them - and deactivated Natsu.

Even if he was fairly positive that CEDEF didn't have the ability to track flames, it was better to be as non-descript as possible. Normal teenagers didn't usually have the ability to call flames.

Picking up his bag from the street and his jacket from the floor, he walked home, a line of tension in his shoulders.

He had enough problems, he didn't need to add more.

XXxxxxxXX

Dozens of miles away from Japan a phone ring, a tan hand reached across a desk, filled with paperwork and picked up the phone.

XXxxxxxXX

Solo Cambio Forma: Single Combat Form

Guanti del Cielo: "Gauntlets of the Sky"

Description: They appear as bracelets at first, but when activated, they cover Tsuna's hands and some of his forearms as the gauntlet's metal cover acting as armor. The gauntlets have an orange color. Inside there are chambers that holster a magazine for bullets. A silver-ish gray barrel is concealed in the front of the gauntlet, aligned between the knuckles of the index and middle finger. Tsuna's flame acts as the bullets, hence there being no actual need for real bullets.

Basic Abilities: Although weaker than the X-Gloves made by Leon, these gauntlets do have the ability to transform the sky flame to have more versatility by changing the tint of the sky flame (ex. Storm-Sky Flames). Suited for long distance combat, as well as short range combat. It has other abilities that will be explained later.

Drawbacks: However, there are some drawbacks to it. Usage of "hard" sky flames, such, as for flying cause it to break as the energy is too explosive. Likewise, if too much of the "soft" flame is used the gauntlets can break from too much power.

Basic Attack: Hibana Ishō "Ember Design", standard attack, using storm sky flames. The sky tint flame is turned into a condensed bullet form inside the chamber before being released as a bullet. Much, like Xanxus gun's this increases the flames power explosively.

XXxxxxXX

Author's Note: Some curved balls this chapter, and differences. Hopefully, this chapter is still readable I feel like it was too choppy in some parts, while other parts I fear were to too sharp…

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Caught in a Loop on AO3

[leohameljewelry]

Talisman Jewelry: Symbols of Love, Luck & Good Fortune

Talisman jewelry has been worn for centuries, as a means of protection, luck, good fortune, and much more. Also known as amulets, totems, or good luck charms, talismans are worn to project one’s present feelings, as well as their hopes for the future. Whether you seek wealth, love, success, or something else, there’s a piece of talisman jewelry that’s ideal for you! 

Types of Talisman Jewelry

When it comes to types of talisman jewelry, there’s no shortage of unique symbols to choose from. Drawing influence from wildlife, world currency, and even the cosmos, talismans often have spiritual significance to a variety of cultures. The following are some of the most well-known talismans and their meanings:

Bees

Honeybees are a remarkable species, responsible for pollinating the majority of crops we rely on for food. From apples to almonds, bees help plants to grow and reproduce, making them incredibly important for sustaining the cycle of life. These industrious insects have appeared in artwork for centuries, such as tapestries, architecture, and even fine jewelry. Bees are also commonly associated with royalty, thanks to Napoleon Bonaparte of France, who named them an imperial symbol during the 19th century. Evidence of Napoleon’s admiration for these crafty creatures can be found in personal portraits of the emperor. For his coronation day, Napoleon wore magnificent red robes adorned with gold bees. And in a separate portrait by Jacques-Louis David, you might spot a gilt chair covered in fabric that’s bedecked with buzzing bees. An everlasting emblem of hard work and cooperation, bees make an excellent choice to wear as talisman jewelry. Wear with you to school, work, or wherever else you may be tasked to work as a team.

Elephants

Besides being downright adorable, elephants symbolize wisdom and lots of luck. In Hindu culture, the elephant god, Ganesh, is celebrated for delivering good fortune, abundance, and clearing one’s path of unwanted obstacles. These magnificent mammals have long served as a symbol in talisman jewelry, bestowing the bearer with favorable qualities like strength and honor. Do you have a loved one graduating or embarking on a new career? Give them the gift of good luck with a charming elephant ring or pendant.

The Evil Eye

Prominent in Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, and Hindu cultures, the evil eye is one of history’s best recognized talismans. The sinister stare of the evil eye is said to protect its wearer from the malicious glares of envious enemies, and the harm they wish to inflict. Evil eye talismans are classified as apotropaic, Greek for prophylactic, which means to protect or turn away. When misery or suffering is cast upon its wearer, the evil eye will reflect malevolence back to the one wishing harm. Though the evil eye means something slightly different to each culture, it’s universally accepted as a cursed symbol intended to bring wickedness to one’s life. Shield yourself from the stress and negative energy of others with a priceless piece of evil eye talisman jewelry.

The Hamsa Hand

You’ve surely seen jewelry in the shape of an open hand, better known as the hamsa. Similar to the evil eye, the hamsa protects its wearer from the evil glances and ill wishes of others. In Islam, the symbol is known as the Hand of Fatima, and in Christian and Jewish cultures, it’s referred to as the Hand of Miriam. While commonly called the hamsa hand, you may also see it spelled hamesh, chamsa, or khamsa. Hamsa hand jewelry can take on different meanings, depending on how it’s worn. When the hand is worn facing upwards, it’s a sign to ward off evil. However, when worn facing down, the hamsa hand inspires abundance, good fortune, and exciting opportunities. It’s even believed that a hamsa with the fingers pointed downward is a talisman for fertility. Hamsa hand jewelry makes a treasured talisman for someone seeking safety on a new adventure, or those wishing to welcome a child in the near future. 

The Moon & Stars

Celestial-inspired jewelry is arguably one of the most enduring talisman trends, with a variety of different meanings. People have long looked to the moon and stars for insight about themselves, and for guidance through life’s inevitable challenges. Earth’s moon is in a constant state of change, alternating between various phases. So, it’s no wonder it’s recognized as a symbol of rebirth and regeneration, embodying the ever-changing cycles of life. During the Victorian era, it was common for newly engaged couples to receive crescent moon jewelry, as a representation of their love “waxing” into something even more deep and devout. The moon specifically is said to embody a fierce feminine power, and is even revered as a divine female deity in civilizations passed. Celebrate the woman that inspires you most with a gift that’s out of this world, such as a delicate moon pendant or star stud earrings that sparkle like the night’s sky.

Wishbones

Most people are familiar with the age old tradition of breaking a wishbone for luck. This custom dates back to early Etruscan cultures in Italy, and is intended to inspire fertility, prosperity, and all-around good fortune. When you break the wishbone, whoever breaks off the bigger piece is thought to reap the rewards. However, wishbones in their complete form are still quite lucky, and actually inspired the phrase “get a lucky break.” Wearing a wishbone encourages endless possibility, and hope for the future. For this reason, wishbone jewelry is the perfect choice for a loved one beginning a new career, or uprooting to a new home.

Four-Leaf Clovers

Few symbols are as synonymous with good luck as the four-leaf clover. Considered the ultimate lucky charm, the four-leafed clover is hallmark of Irish culture, and often attributed to St. Patrick’s Day. The symbol is said to embody many meanings, with each of the four leaves representing either faith, hope, love, or luck. With a 1 in 10,000 chance of discovering a four-leaf clover of your own, you’re better off opting for a precious piece of talisman jewelry instead. One of the most beloved clover jewelry collections belongs to renowned luxury retailer, Van Cleef & Arpels, and is known as the Alhambra collection. Glamorous Hollywood icon, Grace Kelly, was a famous fan of the Alhambra collection, and was known to wear several pieces at a time. Shroud yourself or a loved one in strength, courage, and hope with the help of a piece of four-leafed clover jewelry!

Coins

Coins are a popular centerpiece for pendants, rings, and bracelets alike. One might assume that wearing coins is simply intended to bring the wearer wealth, but really, they represent so much more. During Queen Victoria’s reign, a new tradition was established of gifting brides-to-be with a coin to ensure a happy marriage filled with love and luck. In fact, many people don’t know that the expression “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” actually ends with the final line, “…and a sixpence in her shoe.” Coin jewelry is often modeled after ancient currency, like that of the Greeks or Romans. Believed to bring security, abundance, and lots of luck to their wearer, coin jewelry makes an excellent gift for weddings, or to celebrate a career milestone.

Find Treasured Talisman Jewelry at Leo’s!

Curious where you can find a treasured talisman to carry with you wherever you go? Look no further than San Diego’s #1 jewelry store, Leo Hamel Fine Jewelers! We’re your one-stop-shop for an incredible selection of new and vintage fine jewelry, custom jewelry design, and jewelry repair. Visit us today, and let our friendly staff assist you in finding the perfect piece that speaks to you and your unique style. No matter your fine jewelry needs, Leo’s has got you covered!

from https://www.leohamel.com/blog/index.php/2020/02/talisman-jewelry-symbols-of-love-luck-good-fortune/

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An Army Doctor’s First Loss of the Vietnam War: The Woman He Loved

I was 26 when I was sent to Vietnam, along with 2.7 million men and women of my generation. As an infantry battalion surgeon, I cared for soldiers’ wounds and helped treat their pain — but for me, going to war was also tied to the distress of leaving my first love. I was a doctor and she was a licensed practical nurse at a hospital in Hartford, Conn. Our work had brought us together. Going to war would break us apart.

Medical school was the academic equivalent of military boot camp. My fellow hospital interns and I endured a draconian schedule that left us in a constant state of sleep-deprived exhaustion; we might enter the hospital on Thursday morning and not leave until early Saturday. At the end of a 48-hour shift on a cold December day in 1965, after back-to-back missed meals and a cluster of critical emergencies, I arrived on the third-floor ward for evening rounds. The young woman working at the nurse’s station asked if she could help me. Her badge said her name was Karen. She seemed sympathetic to my blank stare, ashen complexion and disheveled appearance — the typical symptoms of a house physician who was about to crash. I sensed her scrutinizing my movements as I wandered bleary-eyed from one patient’s room to the next.

I was exhausted and afraid of making a clinical error; Karen’s presence felt like a blessing. Hospital staff members sometimes enjoyed embarrassing younger physicians for sport, but her angelic smile, gentle manner and hint of shyness gave me the sense that she genuinely wanted to help rather than humiliate me. But there was a problem: I couldn’t stop watching her watching me. I was so attracted to her and so distracted that it was nearly impossible to stay on task. I knew nothing about Karen as a person — and I didn’t care. Intuition and impulse completely overwhelmed any pretense of reason. When our rounds were completed, we shared a few words over a quick cup of coffee. By the time we said goodbye, I was so captivated by her that I couldn’t think straight.

Now, more than 50 years later, I can’t recall exactly how I asked Karen out or what we did for a first date, but I do remember that we bonded immediately. I was on call in the hospital every weekday and many nights and weekends, so there was no time for traditional dating. Our courtship consisted of trying to stay awake, sharing takeout meals, watching some television, falling asleep, meeting covertly at work and spending one weekend at a modest Cape Cod resort. Snippets of quality time were used for cuddling, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, neatening a stray wisp of hair and occasionally making love. We spent a lot of time talking, but somehow we learned almost nothing of importance about each other. We just lived in the moment and enjoyed being together.

I had dated many women in the past, but this was the first time I had fallen in love. It was instantaneous, with someone I barely knew. And my timing was terrible. I had no savings, and I earned a paltry $70 for each 110-hour workweek. Worse, the war made it impossible to plan for my future. I hadn’t decided on a medical specialty yet, and I had foolishly pre-empted being drafted by enlisting in the Army. I could be sent to Vietnam as soon as my internship year was over.

In May 1966, I received orders to report for training in two months. I knew that general medical officers like me were sometimes embedded with front-line troops as battalion surgeons. I was facing the prospect of being injured or killed — but just as upsetting was the fact that my scheduled departure was close to the time that Karen’s handsome, varsity-athlete boyfriend would return from his Vietnam tour as a fighter pilot. Karen told me that they had not made a formal commitment to each other, but people who knew them assumed that they would eventually marry. If he returned while I was away, it seemed unlikely that our relationship could survive.

Army doctors received only four weeks of rudimentary military training in San Antonio before going overseas. Many would be deployed to Vietnam during their second year of active duty. I was part of the unlucky one-third who were issued olive-drab underwear to complement orders that sent us directly to Vietnam.

Our trainers’ focus was on teaching trauma and tropical medicine, with little emphasis on fighting skills. Watching doctors try to march in formation was very entertaining for the other troops stationed at our post. Unfortunately, some of us never took the nonmedical training seriously. One afternoon, we were instructed to crawl under barbed wire while live ammo with tracers was fired over our heads. They had to stop the exercise when a cardiologist suddenly stood up waving his white T-shirt over his head as if he were surrendering.

Doctors were being processed in such large numbers that I was housed in a dingy roadside motel. I missed Karen immediately, more than I had imagined. I considered asking her to marry me but never had the chance. She had agreed to visit me in Texas but canceled her flight at the last minute. Her sister told her it was unwise to commit to a soldier who might come back from the war irreparably damaged or irreversibly dead.

On Aug. 27, I was transported to Vietnam on a chartered commercial airplane. We stepped onto the tarmac into steamy heat, equipped with uniforms that had been designed for a war in Europe. Tropical fatigues and jungle boots were not in the regular supply chain yet. We were also unprepared in ways far more serious than just our gear.

My infantry unit was conducting search-and-destroy missions in Tay Ninh Province near the Cambodian border. “Search and destroy” sometimes seemed euphemistic for the Army using us as bait to lure enemy soldiers out of hiding. At 26, I was relatively old for my unit, and one of my 19-year-old medics jokingly called me Pops. My forward aid station was about 500 feet from the perimeter machine guns. I was the only one who seemed concerned that I had been issued an M16 rifle and a .45-caliber pistol but had virtually no weapons or combat training. Medical personnel were instructed to carry weapons in the field and to not wear the red cross insignia. Our command believed that we were specifically targeted by the Viet Cong. After the first few weeks, I carried only a holstered sidearm. It seemed more likely that I would injure myself or one of my buddies with my M16 than any of the enemy.

By late December, Karen’s romantic letters had gradually become less frequent. She had told her boyfriend about our hospital romance, and her anxiety and ambivalence about our relationship became more acute. Then, just after the new year, a sensitive but final letter of apology told me that she was engaged to be married that summer. This was not a surprise, but it was deeply disappointing. I loved her and wanted her to be happy, but I also wanted her with me, not with someone else. It seemed particularly ironic that the chaplain who performed her wedding ceremony was my drinking buddy, and the obstetrician who eventually delivered her babies was my intern partner and best friend.

I carried Karen’s photo for luck while I was in-country, but I no longer looked at it. It was time to move on from this failed relationship and focus on more immediate issues. My life and the lives of men in my unit were at risk, and I was responsible for treating life-threatening injuries with novice skills and little more than the contents of a medic’s bag. There was also the dilemma of knowing that each time I declared my patient well enough for duty, I might be writing a prescription for his death.

When I returned to the United States, I didn’t try to find out about Karen or her newly married life. It seemed inconceivable that our brief infatuation at the hospital had occurred just one year earlier. I started dating again and met the woman I would eventually marry and raise two children with.

More than four decades later, I came across an obituary that eulogized Karen’s ex-husband. He had retired as a brigadier general in the Air National Guard. They had been divorced for some time. I found Karen’s email address on social media and sent her a note, and we agreed to meet for lunch. (I was happily in a second marriage, and my wife, Sue, understood that this was an important time in my life and voiced no objections to the meeting.)

After some awkward conversation and a few glasses of wine, Karen and I talked about the time that had passed since we were together. We empathized with the highs, lows and complexities of each other’s life stories. I have had 40 deeply fulfilling years of clinical practice as a community pediatrician. I’ve been married to Sue for more than 20 years. I love my role as a grandfather, teach medical students as a clinical professor and actively campaign for the improvement of veterans’ health. Karen had left nursing when she married her boyfriend, but she went on to work in the office at an elementary school and loved being surrounded by children. She has two grown kids of her own and two grandchildren. Karen smiled when I admitted that she was the first woman I loved. I had never told her that in our brief time together. Simplicity seems almost impossible to achieve in today’s world, where everyone feels the need to learn everything about another person’s life; yet it was the ingredient that had made our infatuation so special. After revisiting old memories with Karen, I found myself imagining all the ways that a downed plane, an errant bullet, a hidden tripwire or even Karen’s conversation with her sister might have rewritten our stories’ endings.

The scars from the long-ago war and the years that followed had changed our lives and dampened the intensity but not the warmth of our feelings. Without speaking, we held each other for a long moment of reflection. I found myself, at 77, feeling the loss of that innocent first love. Then we wished each other happiness before drifting apart to embrace the lives we had chosen and the separate futures that lay before us.

Jeffrey Brown is a retired physician who teaches as a medical school professor. He has written several published books and many articles. While serving in Vietnam as an Army doctor, he was awarded the Bronze Star Medal for Valor.

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