#william converse roberts

[loisfreakinglane]

Drive Me Crazy (1999 dir. John Schultz)

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

A Moment's Silence

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Oral (f receiving). unprotected sex, marking, praise, Loki got a dangerous mouth but this isn't too bad.

Genre: smut & fluff

Summary: Loki hates when you touch him, and you thought you knew exactly why. // A moment's silence when my baby puts her mouth on me ~ Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier

***

The first thing Loki learned about you when you moved into the Avengers Tower was that you are touchy. Not in the 'you're too sensitive' way but in the you're very affectionate way. You're always greeting people with hugs and you cuddle whoever sits next to you during movie nights and whenever you're going somewhere with someone you're either holding their hand or linking arms with them. It's pretty different from the rest of the people living here. Except for Thor, no one here shares your affinity for touch but everyone loves you so they take it in stride. Welcoming your hugs and cuddles and hand holds to the point that most of them have become accustomed to it, expecting it more often than they want to admit.

Except Loki. Loki doesn't do touch and no amount of seeing you do it will make him more comfortable with it. You're no fool. You recognized early that although the others complained when you hugged them there was no real fight in their objections, with Loki it's different. He'd go as far as to disappear on you if you tried to hug him so you stopped. You don't hug Loki, or sit by him during movies, or try to grab his arm on the rare occasion that you're going somewhere with him. Honestly, for a while you didn't spend much time with Loki in general, you weren't sure how to. He was clearly a loner and you assumed you didn't have much in common. He didn't seem eager to bond with you either so you left him to his own devices.

Until recently. You've started spending a lot of your free time in the tower library and evidently, Loki is quite fond of the space too. So you kind of just share it. If you find yourself in there at the same time as him you say hello and pick a corner to do your reading. Sometimes you talk to him a bit and other times you just share each other's company. It's becoming a kind of lovely routine, at least in your eyes. You have no idea if Loki enjoys it as much as you actually but he can be pretty conversational on occasion, usually as long as you're not too close to him.

"Hello Loki." You say when he walks into the library. You've already been here a couple of hours, you honestly didn't think you'd see Loki today.

"Hello y/n. How are you today?" He asks.

"Pretty good. How are you?" You set your book face down in your lap as you watch him walk out of sight to one of the shelves.

"I'm alright! What are we reading today?" Loki's voice carries through the room to you.

"I've picked up a romance for now."

"Not legends and myths for once?" You can hear the teasing in his voice at his question.

"Fuck off I read other stuff." You laugh.

"News to me."

"And what will you be reading today god of mischief? Sifting through spells as always?"

"I was thinking poetry actually." Loki finally appears from beyond the stacks with a book in hand.

"You're a poetry fan?"

"Don't sound so surprised." He rolls his eyes as he sits in the armchair across from the couch you're lying on.

"Well, it's not like you use that silver tongue of yours to recite sonnets." You snort picking up your book.

"Some would say this silver tongue of mine has quite a way with words."

"And I'm sure it does but weaving together lies isn't the same as poeticism. No one will be mixing you up with Robert Frost or William Shakespeare." You muse, your attention drifting back to the story you were invested in before he arrived.

"Your midgardian bards are of no competition to a god you know."

"I'm sure Asgard has its own famous poets of which I'm sure no one would compare you to either." You mutter as you read.

"Now that's harsh." Loki says. You mumble an affirmative dismissively as the drama picks up in the chapter you're reading. Loki takes the hint and leaves you alone as he opens his own chosen read for the afternoon and you spend the rest of the day in silence. Until dinner.

"I'm making dinner and it's movie night. Are you joining us or will you stay here?" You ask, standing up.

"Do you want me to join?" Loki asks.

"I mean- not if you're going to be miserable. I'm just headcounting."

"The others aren't usually as welcoming as you can be."

"Well I w-" You stop yourself. You've only just started to form a friendship with Loki, as much as you enjoy spending time with him you can't outwardly say it. Well maybe you could but you have a feeling the skittish animal approach is best. "I wouldn't be... disappointed if you decided to join us."

"I'll think about it." He hums.

"Alright. See you, maybe." You leave with your book intent on finishing it after movie night. You drop it in your room before going to the kitchen to make dinner. Meatballs, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. It takes almost an hour to make enough for everyone and by the time you're done, most everyone's gathered in the living room.

"Dinner's up! Stevie, Bucky come grab the potatoes and broccoli please." You say grabbing the bowl with the meatballs.

"Coming!" Steve says as he and Bucky hop up from their seats and carry the other serving plates to the big table in the living room where the others are waiting.

"And Sam can you get plates for everyone hon." You say.

"Oh sure." Sam says.

"Get the soda from the fridge too! And the solo cups!" Tony calls after him as he heads into the kitchen.

"Man you coulda just got up and helped out like the rest of us." Sam rolls his eyes but he gets the soda and cups anyway in addition to the plates you asked for. You catch movement in the corner of your eye while everyone is serving themselves and your gaze pops up in time to see Loki strolling into the main room.

"Loki!" You smile before you can stop yourself.

"Brother! Will you be joining us for our moving picture night?" Thor asks.

"Yeah sure." Loki says.

"Brilliant!" Thor nods getting up to clap a hand on Loki's back.

"I made meatballs and broccoli and mashed potatoes if you'd like some. We were just getting settled before we start the movie." You tell him. To your surprise, Loki takes the empty seat beside you and you can only hope your shock doesn't show on your face.

"I haven't missed anything then?" Loki asks.

"Not really." You shake your head. Loki nods and serves himself food.

"Whose pick is it tonight?" You ask once everyone has food in front of them and a few of the boys have already started eating.

"The kid." Tony says, shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Yeah! I uh decided on Now You See Me." Peter says.

"Nice." Natasha nods.

"What is that?" Loki asks you.

"It's a heist movie." You tell him. "Peter, have you seen it before?" You ask.

"Uh-"

"It's not like the baby spider's gonna be attempting anything like this." Clint scoffs.

"That's not why I asked. I'm just wondering if he picked it because he wants to watch it for the first time or because it's a favorite." You roll your eyes.

"I've seen it once. I just thought it would be a fun watch." Peter says.

"Well let's start it then. Yes?" Wanda prompts. Peter sets up the movie and soon everyone's attention is on the screen as they eat. It's about halfway through the movie that your usual habits kick in and you lean over to place your head on the shoulder beside you- until you remember it's Loki by your side and Loki doesn't like being touched. You lull your head back and around to tilt the other way. Wanda's on your other side but she's cuddled up with Vision so you'll just chill with your head against the back of the couch. No biggie. One movie bleeds to the next though and apparently at some point you start drifting off. Not for long, maybe 5 minutes but when your eyes flutter open again your head has made its way to Loki's damn shoulder. You pull off when you realize, surprised he didn't shove you away whenever you landed there.

Loki had held his breath when he felt your head on his shoulder. He was reluctant to admit the weight felt- oddly comforting. If anyone asked he'd deny it to high heaven but he was pretty content with you leaning against him and when you'd woken up and abruptly moved he almost wanted to protest. Almost.

When the second movie ends, most of the others start cleaning up the living room. Since you made dinner, this part isn't your responsibility so you get up and excuse yourself from the group.

"Goodnight everybody." You say to the room. "And Loki, thank you for coming." You add just for him to hear. Before you can think better of it your hand runs gently through his hair when you speak to him but by the time he's reacting to it you're already disappearing down the hall to your room. Loki spends the rest of the night thinking about your hand in his hair, your head on his shoulder, the way you so casually thanked him at the end as you left- it was something so unfamiliar that he didn't know how to deal with it. And how insufferable to be up all night over this.

The next day when you enter the library after breakfast Loki is already there sitting on the couch in your usual shared space. You're almost done with the novel you picked up yesterday and your plan is to finish it now.

"Hello Loki." You say to him as you take a seat on the opposite couch.

"Hello y/n." He says. You don't notice the way he looks at you over the top of his book for a moment. He's not sure if he should talk to you about the night before or not. How would he even bring it up? The two of you maintain your usual quiet company for a few hours while you finish your book. When you've read the last page you return the book to the shelf you found it on. While walking back to your couch you almost crash into Loki who at some point stood up when you were looking for a new book.

"Oh shit- my bad Lo." You say.

"You dropped your bookmark." Loki says holding up the flat dragon-shaped metal. You gasp and pat your back pocket where you thought you'd put it.

"Fuck- thanks. It was a gift so- would totally suck to lose it." You say, throwing your arms around him. Loki doesn't feel the urge to magically escape your grasp and he almost stops you when you let him go. Almost. "Sorry- impulse." You mutter grabbing your bookmark from his hand.

"You're usually much better at not touching me." He points out.

"I guess we've been spending so much time together that I kind of forg- sorry man. Won't happen again." You mutter.

"I wasn't- I know that's what you're like. It wasn't a complaint. Just an observation."

"You can say it wasn't a complaint but I know what you're like too. You hate being touched." You scoff.

"That's not totally accurate."

"What?"

"Usually you're right- I do hate being touched but with you I don- it's not that I hate it but I still can't stand it just- in a different way than I'm used to." Loki says carefully.

"What does that mean?" You chuckle.

"I'm- not entirely sure." He frowns.

"Well, what if I- do you mind if I touch you now?" You ask carefully.

"That's- fine." Loki says, hesitation clear on his face. You lift your hand to his cheek gently and his eyes close when your skin touches his. You let your thumb graze him softly as his brow furrows. Loki's hand snaps up around your wrist moments later and he moves your hand just enough to break the contact. "I can't-"

"What is it?"

"Too much- it's too much. I feel- entirely too much when you touch me, I can't-"

"Can't what?" You tilt your head curiously.

"I don't know how to handle it. I want- I want more than I can have."

"Say more, please."

"When you... do that. When you touch me it- I don't know how to explain it I just want more from you. Like- like I could devour you whole and it would still not be enough and I- I can't, we can't- so you can't touch me."

"Why can't we?"

"What?" Loki's eyes widen at your calm question.

"You're saying we can't but- why? Is it- is it that this is a desire you have but wish you didn't or-"

"No. That's not it."

"Then- why... can't... we?"

"Please don't say things like that. Not if you don't mean them. I cannot take it."

"I wouldn't say it lightly. I don't understand why you're so adamant that I wouldn't want- that you couldn't have more from me if you asked."

"If I asked?"

"Yes. Tell me what it is you want from me Loki."

"Why would you make such an offer?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Nobody wants-" Loki pauses, his gaze dropping as if the floor is more interesting to look at than you. "I just wonder how this is advantageous to you in any way."

"Do you think yourself that undeserving?" You frown and his eyes snap up to yours.

"I never said-"

"You don't always have to. Sometimes it's what we don't say that ends up being the loudest." You say. "I'm going to touch you again Loki. This time when it gets too much just- give into that feeling."

"You have no idea what you're signing up for." Loki's eyes are wide.

"I trust you." You whisper and his features melt into a soft grin, as if your words settled something within him. You place your hand on his cheek again, watching his eyes flutter shut as he leans into your touch. The moment stretches for a while until Loki's hands settle on your waist and pull you against him to bring his lips to yours.

The kiss is soft, hesitant, at first- as if he's expecting you to withdraw, but when you drape your arms loosely over his shoulders and deepen the kiss all manner of shyness seems to leave him. The kiss becomes harsher, more desperate, as if he's trying to devour you and give you all he is at once. You match him moment for moment, tongues dancing, hands roaming as you pour everything into that kiss. Loki lifts you and you wrap your legs around him. You pepper his face with sweet kisses as he carries you to one of the couches.

"Are you sure you want to give yourself to me?" Loki asks quietly.

"Are you sure you want to give yourself to me?" You turn the question back to him and he drops to his knees in front of you.

"I have given myself to you a thousand times over, long before now. I belong to you without question." His eyes pierce yours with their intensity as you allow his words to sink in. You almost can't believe he's said it but there's no denying the truth in his voice when he stares at you so earnestly. You clutch his face in your hands, meeting his gaze with equal candor.

"Then you may have me Loki. I am happy to give myself to you." You tell him and he lets out a deep breath. He says something to himself before tugging at the waist of your shorts. You help him take them off of you along with your panties before he speaks again.

"I have wondered for too long how you would taste on my tongue." Loki mutters as he spreads your legs. Before you can fully process the sentence to come up with a response, Loki buries his face at the apex of your thighs. He licks a stripe along your entrance, collecting the evidence of your arousal, letting out a groan as the essence of you floods his tastebuds. You gasp, threading your fingers into his dark hair as his tongue plunges into you, caressing your inner walls, lapping at your juices.

"Oh- oh god." You breathe out, your back arching towards Loki's eager mouth. He groans against you, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure as you squirm against his face. Loki brings his hands up to your thighs, holding you still and open for him as he switches focus, dragging his tongue against your clit in the most delicious way. His movements are sharp, calculated, his eyes on you as he watches what pulls the strongest reactions from you and focuses on those things until your body tenses beneath his hands. Loki pushes two fingers between your walls and curls them as his mouth latches onto your button. The combination is deadly and you can't stop the cry you let out as your orgasm hits you full force. Loki gently works you through it with his fingers and tongue and only when your breathing goes from harsh pants to shuttering draws does he sit back. He makes a point to link his fingers clean when your eyes flutter open.

"Even better than I expected." He says.

"What?" You ask with a breathless chuckle.

"How you taste, the sight of you in pure pleasure, the feel of your skin against mine- all of it, even better than I imagined." Loki punctuates each item on his list with a trail of kisses until he's hovering over you. 

"Yes well, how nice to learn that silver tongue of yours is good for more than smart remarks." You smirk and pull him down into a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips and not caring, you simply want to be connected like this forever. Your hands trail down Loki's abdomen, freeing him from his own pants which he shoves the rest of the way off when you can no longer push them yourself. His kisses drop to your neck as he does so.

"You'll have plenty of time to learn all that my silver tongue is good for." He mutters against your skin. You giggle at his words a bit though it's shortlived as Loki chooses that moment to rock his hips into yours and the stretch of his length turns your giggle to a gasp. He takes his time working himself between your walls, allowing you to feel every single inch of him as he pushes deeper and deeper until he eventually bottoms out with a groan. "Stars above you're so- warm." He pants out. He's not moving, you realize, waiting for you to adjust so you tilt your hips forward, grinding against him impatiently.

"Loki please- move." You mewl and that's all it takes. Loki's hips knock back and he drives into you with full force, setting an even pace of deep thrusts meant for you to feel every drag of his dick against your walls.

"This- I'm sure, is Valahala." Loki pants out as he's fucking into you.

"So good- Loki it feels so good." You slip your hands into his shirt, dragging your nails across his back.

"I know my darling. I know." Loki hisses at the sweet sting from your claws. His rhythm doesn't falter as you cling to him, in fact, the feel of your hands against his skin sets Loki alight. You moan breathily, relishing in the way Loki fucks into you almost wildly. The heat of your walls is dizzying and Loki can already feel his release creeping down his spine. He slips a hand between your bodies and finds your clit, rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves. Your back arches as a whimper falls from your lips, the extra stimulation quickly bringing you closer.

"Loki-" You whine.

"Let go for me love. Show me how good I make you feel. Let your release coat my dick." Loki coaxes as his fingers dance along your clit as if he's already worked out all your right buttons to push.

"Oh my g-" You gasp out as your orgasm hits you like a wave crashing.

"Beautiful." Loki breathes. "I could watch you do that a thousand times and never tire of the face you make in ecstasy."

"Your turn now sweetie, show me what face you make in ecstasy Loki." You say gently, one hand threading into his hair. With your encouragement, it doesn't take much more for Loki's hips to stutter as his orgasm means the flooding of your walls in liquid heat.

You both lie still for some time, Loki only half holding himself up to avoid crushing you on the couch. You really can't believe the grumpy god that would straight up disappear if you so much as tapped his shoulder is currently lying in your arms. He can hardly believe it himself, but it's as soothing as he could have hoped. Not that he'd- ever admit that.

***

[sleepythug]

What are some movies that every aspiring cinephile should watch?

battleship potemkin (sergei eisenstein, 1926)

city lights (charlie chaplin, 1931)

M (fritz lang, 1931)

freaks (tod browning, 1932)

brief encounter (david lean, 1945)

out of the past (jacques tourneur, 1947)

the third man (carol reed, 1949)

late spring (yasijuro ozu, 1949)

kiss me deadly (robert aldrich, 1955)

a man escaped (robert bresson, 1956)

touch of evil (orson welles, 1958)

la dolce vita (federico fellini, 1960)

peeping tom (michael powell, 1960)

man who shot liberty valance (john ford, 1962)

the exterminating angel (luis buñuel, 1962)

shock corridor (samuel fuller, 1963)

kwaidan (masaki kobayashi, 1964)

dragon inn (king hu, 1967)

playtime (jacques tati, 1967)

once upon a time in the west (sergio leone, 1968)

two-lane blacktop (monte hellman, 1971)

aguirre, wrath of god (werner herzog, 1972)

touki bouki (djibril diop mambety, 1973)

the conversation (francis ford coppola, 1974)

the passenger (michelangelo antonioni, 1975)

nashville (robert altman, 1975)

the killing of a chinese bookie (john cassavetes, 1976)

mikey and nicky (elaine may, 1976)

sorcerer (william friedkin, 1977)

days of heaven (terrence malick, 1978)

blow out (brian de palma, 1981)

8 diagram pole fighter (lau kar-leung, 1984)

mishima: a life in four chapters (paul schrader, 1985)

tampopo (jūzō itami, 1985)

blue velvet (david lynch, 1986)

something wild (jonathan demme, 1986)

landscape in the mist (theo angelopoulos, 1988)

sonatine (takeshi kitano, 1993)

salaam cinema (mohsen makhmalbaf, 1995)

fallen angels (wong kar-wai, 1995)

taste of cherry (abbas kiarostami, 1997)

cure (kiyoshi kurosawa, 1997)

the thin red line (terrence malick, 1999)

beau travail (claire denis, 1999)

yi yi (edward yang, 2000)

all about lily chou chou (shunji iwai, 2001)

memories of murder (bong joon-ho, 2003)

dogville (lars von trier, 2003)

tropical malady (apichatpong weerasethakul, 2004)

silent light (carlos reygadas, 2007)

sparrow (johnnie to, 2008)

holy motors (leos carax, 2012)

phoenix (christian petzold, 2014)

personal shopper (oliver assayas, 2016)

[canonicallyobserving911]

Firehouse 118: Three Assignments, A Transfer and A Recruit

After rewatching the "Chimney Begins", "Hen Begins" and "Bobby Begins Again" episodes, I noticed how Chimney, Hen and Buck were all assigned to the 118 while Bobby was transferred in and Eddie was recruited by Bobby to work there.

All five of their stories of becoming LAFD firefighters are important and unique and it doesn’t matter if they were assigned, transferred or recruited because they're all essential and needed for the team to work seamlessly the way that it does. Also, they’re all exceptional at what they do and their contributions to the team are extraordinary.

Captain Robert "Bobby" Wade Nash

Bobby’s a great captain and he has a great team.  He transferred to the 118 after he asked his chief to send him somewhere following his completion of 6 months of AA while he was in Minnesota.  Sal DeLuca was bad mouthing him to the team and none of them knew Bobby was already there sitting inside of the firetruck listening to them place their bets on how long he'd be at the station.

In 7x2, after Norman was shot and they carried him to the casino so he could be assisted by the cruise ship doctor (who only had sea sick pills 🙄 and got woozy at the sight of blood), Athena asked Bobby what he needed and he replied, “My team!”, then the camera cut to the 118 responding to the car accident with the drunk driver.

Firefighter/Paramedic Howard "Chimney" Han

Chimney’s been at the 118 longer than anyone on Bobby's team, in fact he was there before Bobby was transferred. He’s the heart of the place and Buck said so in 5x5 after he left to find Maddie. His absence for the majority of the season was noticeable and it was great when he returned during 5B.  Being a paramedic comes naturally to him, he loves what he does and it shows.  Reminder, he saved Tommy from a gas explosion during one of Chimney's flashbacks in 2x12. Also, he wants to help anyone he can even that guy who was being belligerent with him in 7x2 after he caused that accident.

Firefighter/Paramedic Henrietta "Hen" Wilson

Hen is a great leader; she has the temperament and the know how to handle difficult situations.  Reminder, she’s the one who always speaks up for Buck whenever the rest of the team or Bobby need to be reminded about the way he doesn’t have anything outside of firefighting like she did in 3x1 and 3x6. Additionally, she was in medical school for three years until she decided in 6x6 that her dream was to remain a paramedic.

OAN: In 7x2, Hen was interim captain and the 118 was working together and handling the scene of an accident with a drunk driver but the driver died after refusing treatment and it was followed by an investigation. She was told by the chief to “Go home firefighter” and it pissed me off because she GRADUATED from the academy as a firefighter/paramedic so for him to be dismissive and call her a firefighter instead of a paramedic, which she earned, was not ok.

Chimney and Hen are partners and they ride or die for each other but reminder, Chimney didn’t become a paramedic until after he had a conversation with Eli.  That doesn’t make one better than the other, it’s just an observation to illustrate how rude the chief was.  Where’s Chief Miranda Williams when she’s needed because it appears this new chief doesn’t listen?

Firefighter/EMT Evan "Buck" Buckley

Buck goes harder than anyone else when it comes to firefighting and Bobby said so himself in 6x1 after Buck tried to impress him so he would consider him to be the interim captain.  He thinks outside of the box like he did in 3x13 at the bowling alley and he knows the job like the back of his hand.  His personal life aside, he loves being a firefighter and after he stopped being reckless and stealing firetrucks to have sex in them and Bobby fired him, he got his act together.

Firefighter/EMT Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz

Eddie wasn't assigned to the 118 and he didn't transfer in because he was recruited by Bobby. I’ve always known Bobby convinced him to join his firehouse instead of him going to station 6 but IIRC, Eddie was the first person Bobby hired instead of him being assigned or transferred.  He graduated at the top of his academy class and he already had experience because he was an Army medic and he did multiple tours in Afghanistan.  One thing to note is of all their introductions to the 118, Eddie’s was on another level and it was evident since he had his own theme song, “Whatta Man” by Salt -N- Pepa.  Additionally, Eddie was NEVER treated like a “probie” and IIRC he was never hazed but that could be because Bobby runs his firehouse differently than Gerard did. Finally, Eddie was already in the firehouse when the camera panned to him instead of him walking in like Chimney, Hen and Buck did. Bobby was the only other person on the team who was already there when he was introduced.

Buck and Eddie are partners and they work seamlessly together the same way Hen and Chimney do but there's a difference between the two partnerships (related post linked here). Hen and Chimney are best friends but Buck and Eddie have built a family together with their Eddie's son, Chris that's outside of their found family.

The point of this post is to highlight how great Bobby’s team is and how they all need each other along with the way the 118 wouldn’t be what it is without all five of them.

[albertserra]

my trans/faggot reading list

The Queer Art of Failure by Jack Halbertsam

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

Going Stealth: Transgender Politics and U.S. Surveillance Practices by Toby Beauchamp

Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano

gay masculinities by peter nardi

Homosexuality in Cold War America : Resistance and the Crisis of Masculinity by Robert J Corber

Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives by Walt Odets

nevada by imogen binnie

gender nihilism by alyson escalante + addendum

Trans-in-Asia, Asia-in-Trans: An Introduction 

Trans Exploits: Trans of Color Cultures and Technologies in Movement by  Jian Neo Chen

The Terrible We: Thinking with Trans Maladjustment by Cameron Awkward-Rich

Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity (various)

Acceptable femininity? Gay male misogyny and the policing of queer femininities Sadie E Hale and Tomás Ojeda

Please Miss: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis by grace e lavery

delusions of gender by cordelia fine

a failed man by michael v smith (part of persistence: all ways butch and femme)

time is the thing a body moves through by T. Fleischmann

kai cheng thom’s writing

we want it all: an anthology of trans radical poetics

second skins: the body narratives of transsexuality by jay prossner

transgender warriors by leslie feinberg

the faggots and their friends between revolutions by larry mitchell

translating the queer: body politics and transnational conversations by hector dominguez ruvalcaba

captive genders: trans embodiment and the prison industrial complex

we both laughed in pleasure: the selected diaries of lou sullivan

how we get free: black feminism and the combahee river collective

trans girl suicide museum by hannah baer

dagger: on butch women by lily burana

black queer studies: a critical anthology by e patrick johnson and mae g Henderson

queer sex by juno roche

black on both sides: a racial history of trans identities by C. Riley Snorton

transgender liberation by leslie feinberg

female masculinity by jack halberstam

transecology by douglas a vakoch

street transvestite action revolutionaries : survival, revolt, and queer antagonistic struggle (Sylvia Rivera , Marsha P. Johnson)

a body that is ultra body: in conversation with fred moten and elysia crampton

building an abolitionist trans and queer movement with everything we’ve got (morgan bassichis, alexander lee and dean spade, 2011)

feminism and the (trans)gender entrapment of gender nonconforming prisoners (julia oparah, 2012)

normal life: administrative violence, critical trans politics, and the limits of law (dean spade, 2015)

Tseng Kwong Chi: Performing for the Camera by Việt Lê

detransition, baby by torrey peters

paul takes the form of a mortal girl by andrea lawlor

a failed man by michael v. smith (part of persistence: all ways butch and femme)

my new vagina wont make me happy by andrea long chu

sexing the body by Anne Fausto-Sterling

something that may shock and discredit you by danny lavery

the argonauts by maggie nelson

gender outlaws by kate bornstein

special mentions for articles ive read that were already very formative for me

Masquerading As the American Male in the Fifties: Picnic, William Holden and the Spectacle of Masculinity in Hollywood Film by Steven Cohan

The Production and Display of the Closet: Making Minnelli's "Tea and Sympathy” by David Gerstner

huge thanks to @mypocketsnug who sent #20-40

this is not at all intended to be some kind of definitive resource as ive literally read none of these yet save for the two i mention at the bottom and im compiling this for my personal use, im only publishing this bc an anon asked me to! feel free to reblog and also recommend me more but keep this disclaimer in mind

[starryoak]

Apparently we’re going to be seeing more of Hobie’s universe and I am SO pumped about that because I have so many questions about how they’ll change it from the official comics, because a lot of Hobie’s universe is so intrinsically American that I can’t wait to see how it changes.

See, Spider-Punk’s universe is one where Norman Osborn became president by either creating artificial copies of or allying with Symbiotes (like Venom), dubbing them Variable Engagement Neuro-sensitive Organic Mesh, or V.E.N.O.M, both bonding with them himself and distributing them to cops and law enforcement everywhere to create super soldiers who could, and in his own words, “Make America Great Again.” His introductory comic depicts this in four pages (one of them a two page spread) where it shows Hobie and his band leading a riot against a wave of cop-Symbiotes called the Thunderbolt Department and using 5,000 watts worth of amps blasting punk music to vaporize the Symbiotes (being weak to loud noises), then personally bashing Norman Osborn’s skull in with his guitar.

Obviously while cops are fucking fascists everywhere, the symbolism of “Make America Great Again” is, well, quintessentially American, so I think it’s pretty clear some of the rhetoric will change, and I really can’t wait to see how it will, honestly. As well, when Hobie says “I hate the PM”, he can be seen tearing a poster of not Norman Osborn, but Kingpin, indicating that he likely is this universe’s equivalent to President Osborn.

As well, his teammates/the Spider-Band are also worth examining, and I really, really can’t wait to see what’s done with them, especially Karl Morningdew.

Karl Morningdew, AKA Captain Anarchy, is obviously intrinsically connected to Captain America, as his universe’s equivalent, but also because he’s Native American, specifically named as the Sentinel of the Cowlitz People. He’s got a not-a-superhero boyfriend named Rick, but that’s not important to this conversation. He’s obviously pretty tied to America, not just in his being very obviously a variant of Captain America with the same powers, but also because his people have lived in America before there was an America to live in, and their oppression by the American government is inextricable to his character. So how they will, or, I suppose, if they will, translate Karl into a British setting is obviously a big question! While not as intrinsically tied to an American identity, he has other teammates who are variants of other Marvel universe characters; Riri Williams, AKA Ironheart, is known as Riotheart in this universe, Mattea Murdock, AKA the Daredevil Drummer of Philly, a counterpart to Daredevil, Kamala Khan, who seems to be pretty much the same + brass knuckles, (will she have her powers changed to fit the new Ms. Marvel show?), and Robert “Robbie” Bruce Banner, a reluctant member of the team who doesn’t actually really want to be there, having tried to give up on that part of his life.

I really, really hope these guys show up, I want to see how they translate these very American characters into the UK, and I think, frankly, they’re really cool and fun!

[deadpresidents]

"No fewer than twenty-nine of my [research] cards document [Ronald] Reagan's detachment. He was at once the most remote and the most accessible of men. Although he reveled in the constant flesh-pressing of the Presidency, and ate up flattery with a spoon, he needed regular spells of 'personal time.' Glance through the Oval Office peephole and you would see him happily writing in longhand, always with his tie straight and jacket on, ensconced in an egglike solitude that the curvature of the lens only emphasized.

Adored by so many, he was a man with no real friends. This was not due to any inherent misanthropy...Until he remarried in 1952, earnest, bespectacled Ronnie was said to be 'best friends' with [actor] William Holden, and after that with Robert Taylor. But neither man was more than a barbecue buddy. Hundreds of political supporters and associates claimed to be close to him when he was Governor of California and thousands during his Presidency. Former Senator Paul Laxalt spoke for all of them when he said, 'I guess I know Ronald Reagan as well as anybody. Of course we never talk about anything personal.'

Sooner or later, every would-be intimate (including his four children, Maureen, Michael, Patti, and Ron) discovered that the only human being Reagan truly cared about (after his mother died) was Nancy. For Laxalt, disillusionment came when the President called to thank him for his campaign help in 1984, only to pause in midsentence and audibly turn over a page of typescript. For William F. Buckley Jr., it was when Reagan showed polite relief at his inability to accept an offer of hospitality. For Michael Reagan, it was the high-school graduation day his father greeted him with 'My name is Ronald Reagan. What's yours?'

Patti Davis, Reagan's younger daughter, writes in her 1992 autobiography:

'Often I'd come into a room and he'd looked up from his notecards as though he wasn't sure who I was. [Youngest son] Ron would race up to him, small and brimming with a child's enthusiasm, and I'd see the same bewildered look in my father's eyes, like he had to remind himself who Ron was...I sometimes felt like reminded him that Maureen was his daughter, too, not just someone with similar political philosophies.'

Reagan's scrupulously kept Presidential diary is remarkable for a near-total lack of interest in people as individuals. In all its half-million or so words, I did not find any affectionate remark about his children. He conscientiously named every visitor to the Oval Office, having a printed schedule to refer to, but in conversation he tended to rely on pronouns. Nor did he pay much attention to faces. 'Nice to meet you, Mr. Ambassador,' he greeted Denis Healey, the former Defense Minister of Great Britain, while the real British Ambassador stood by. 'But I've already met him,' his Excellency [the Ambassador] complained, 'eleven times.'"

-- Edmund Morris, Ronald Reagan's authorized biographer, on President Reagan's aloof personality, "The Unknowable: Ronald Reagan's Amazing, Mysterious Life," The New Yorker, June 28, 2004.

[themakeupbrush]

List of Met Galas since 2001

I've gotten a few asks for a list of Met Galas. Technically, the gala has existed since 1948, and been themed since 1973, but I started at 2001 to keep it short (there was no gala in 2000 apparently). If you're interested in every theme that's ever existed, there's a chart on Wikipedia.

Most lists online start somewhere around 2011-2013, since it wasn't covered by the press the same way before then.

2001 Jacqueline Kennedy: The White House Years

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Christina and Lindsay Owen-Jones, Annette and Oscar de la Renta, Carolina Herrera Caroline Kennedy and Edwin A. Schlossberg

Sponsor: L'Oreal

2003 Goddess: The Classical Mode

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Tom Ford, Nicole Kidman

Sponsor: Gucci

2004 Dangerous Liaisons: Fashion and Furniture in the 18th Century

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Renée Zellweger, Lawrence Stroll, Silas Chou, Edgar Bronfman Jr. Jacob Rothschild, Jayne Wrightsman

Sponsor: Asprey

2005 The House of Chanel

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Karl Lagerfeld, Nicole Kidman Caroline, Princess of Hanover

Sponsor: Chanel

2006 AngloMania: Tradition and Transgression in British Fashion

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Christopher Bailey, Sienna Miller Rose Marie Bravo, The Duke of Devonshire

Sponsor: Burberry

2007 Poiret: King of Fashion

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Cate Blanchett, Nicolas Ghesquière François-Henri Pinault

Sponsor: Balenciaga

2008 Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Giorgio Armani

Sponsor: Giorgio Armani

2009 The Model As Muse: Embodying Fashion

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Kate Moss, Justin Timberlake Marc Jacobs

Sponsor: Marc Jacobs

Ticket Price: $7,500

2010 American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Oprah Winfrey, Patrick Robinson

Sponsor: Gap

2011 Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Colin Firth, Stella McCartney François-Henri Pinault and Salma Hayek

Sponsor: Alexander McQueen

2012 Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversations

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Carey Mulligan, Miuccia Prada, Jeff Bezos

Sponsor: Amazon

2013 Punk: Chaos to Couture

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Rooney Mara, Lauren Santo Domingo, Riccardo Tisci Beyoncé

Sponsor: Moda Operandi

Ticket Price: $15,000

2014 Charles James: Beyond Fashion

Co-chairs: Aerin Lauder, Anna Wintour, Bradley Cooper, Oscar de la Renta, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lizzie and Jonathan Tisch

Sponsor: AERIN

Ticket Price: $25,000

Theme Announcement: September 4th, 2013

2015 China: Through the Looking Glass

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Jennifer Lawrence, Gong Li, Marissa Mayer, Wendi Murdoch, Silas Chou

Sponsor: Yahoo

Ticket Price: $25,000

Theme Announcement: September 11th, 2014

2016 Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Taylor Swift, Idris Elba, Jonathan Ive Nicolas Ghesquière, Karl Lagerfeld, Miuccia Prada

Sponsor: Apple

Ticket Price: $30,000

Theme Announcement: October 13th, 2015

2017 Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady, Katy Perry, Pharrell Williams, Rei Kawakubo

Sponsor: Apple, Condé Nast, Farfetch, H&M, Maison Valentino

Ticket Price: $30,000

Theme Announcement: October 21st, 2016

2018 Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Rihanna, Amal Clooney, Donatella Versace Christine and Stephen A. Schwarzman

Sponsors: Christine and Stephen A. Schwarzman, Versace

Ticket Price: $30,000

Theme Announcement: November 8th, 2017 (currently the latest they've announced the theme)

2019 Camp: Notes on Fashion

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, Serena Williams, Alessandro Michele

Sponsor: Gucci

Ticket Price: $35,000

Theme Announcement: October 9th, 2018

Planned for May 4, 2020 (canceled) About Time: Fashion and Duration

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Meryl Streep, Emma Stone, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Nicolas Ghesquière

Sponsor: Louis Vuitton

September 2021 In America: A Lexicon of Fashion

Co-chairs: Timothée Chalamet, Billie Eilish, Amanda Gorman, Naomi Osaka, Tom Ford, Adam Mosseri, Anna Wintour

Sponsor: Instagram

Ticket Price: $35,000

2022 In America: An Anthology of Fashion

Co-chairs: Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Regina King, Tom Ford, Adam Mosseri, Anna Wintour

Sponsor: Instagram

Ticket Price: $35,000

2023 Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty

Co-chairs: Anna Wintour, Dua Lipa, Michaela Coel, Penélope Cruz, Roger Federer

Sponsors: Chanel, Fendi, Karl Lagerfeld (brand)

Ticket Price: $50,000 (most expensive to date)

Theme Announcement: September 30th, 2022

[cowgurrrl]

Marrow

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic!ellie williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: thanks for being patient!! I made a new graphic for the in-between parts of When You’re Lost in the Darkness/Look for the Light because I wanted to 😌 (PS this is somewhat of rewrite/reimagining of my first fic Everything Leads to You so if there are some similarities, iTS FINE)

Summary: “This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning.” - Oresteia as translated by Robert Icke aka the beginning of the journey

Warnings: discussions of Tess, reference to Adam, Joel being stubborn, talking to Ellie about mortality, references to a sexual relationship, the horrors of being seen by someone who could break your heart

"Stay here," you say to Ellie after a full ten minutes of waiting. He didn't even say where he was going. He just left without another word and expects you to be there by the time he returns, which is annoying in its own right.

"What? Where are you going?" Ellie asks before you can even take two steps in the direction he left. 

"To find Joel."

"He said to stay here."

"Joel says a lot of things." You roll your eyes. She didn't try arguing with Joel when he left, but here she is, holding you up. She better hope he's just down there fucking around and not in trouble. 

"What am I supposed to do if someone finds me?"

"No one's gonna find us out here."

"But what if they do?" She asks, and you can recognize the anxiety in her voice. She's a lot like Joel, you've noticed. Fierce and short-tempered but with lots of uncertainty brewing just underneath. You soften just enough to crouch in front of her and open your hand.

"You still got your knife?" You ask, and she nods. "Can I show you something?" She hesitates before pulling the knife out of her jacket pocket and placing it in your hand. You see why she likes it so much. It's a good size, sleek, and perfectly balanced. You open the blade and hold the handle firmly. "If they get close enough, jab at soft parts. Eyes, stomach, throat. It might not kill them immediately, but it'll distract them enough for you to run away and get our attention." 

"Same for Infected?"

"Same for Infected," you say. "Runners are just sick people. They have almost all the same weak points."

"Is it hard to kill them when you know they were people once?" She asks, and your mind immediately goes to that Shell station from all those years ago. Against your will, you remember his groans and the look in his eyes as he pushed you away from the last time. You clear your throat and close the blade to hand it back to her. 

"Not when they come after you first," you say. She eyes you carefully like she doesn't believe you, but you stand before she can see right through you. "Stay here. We'll be right back." She doesn't move from her spot as you walk away, but you catch her changing her grip on her knife to copy the way you held it. 

You find Joel on the river bank you and Tess passed more times than you could ever count. The water is clear and running without a care in the world. It would be peaceful if you weren't strategizing on how to have this conversation with Joel. It's necessary, but if you know him (which you do), you know it'll result in a fight. You decide to approach him gently with empty hands and a soft, if not a little pained, smile. He glances in your direction but doesn't acknowledge you as he reaches into the cold water and pulls a smooth rock from the bottom. He adds it to the stack right next to him and stares at it like it's something more sentimental than just a cairn. Maybe it is. He wouldn't tell you if it was. Not now. Not when Tess hasn't even been dead for twenty-four hours. Finally, he stands and turns to look at you.

"How's your hand?" You ask, breaking the unbearable silence between you. He looks between you and his stained, cracked knuckles and shrugs.

"Fine." He says, his voice deep and rough. You step closer to get a better look at his hand and fight the urge to reach for it to press around for the fracture you're positive is swelling under his skin. 

"You don't have to be a hero about it. I can wrap it."

"I said 'm fine," he snaps. You nod and take a step back. You know, from years of diffusing Joel's anger, this is a delicate dance. "Where's Ellie?"

"Right where you left her. I came down here 'cause I wanted to make sure you were alive." 

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," you say. The levity in your voice startles him into looking you in the eyes for the first time since you left the destroyed capitol building. The brown of his eyes feels especially heavy and sad, but you don't flinch. You rarely do with him. "Plus, I wanted to see if we could talk."

"Bout what?" He says like nothing in the past few days has been catastrophic enough to require a conversation. 

"About what you think Bill and Frank are gonna do." 

"Take her to the Fireflies or get someone else to do it."

"And if they say no?"

"They won't."

"How do you know?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes. "Frank's sick, Joel. Really, really sick. He can't just get in a car and take this girl to the Fireflies, and Bill's not gonna leave him."

"How do you know?" He accuses.

"Because I actually talk to them on the radio," you say. "From what he's told me, it sounds like Parkinson's or something. I don't know. I'm not a doctor." 

"Exactly," he agrees with enough tension in his voice to poke at the fiery anger in your belly. "Frank's fine. They'll set him up in the truck and drive her there." 

"What about Raiders? Or Slavers? Or what happens if they run out of gas and can't find more? Frank can't just walk her to Wyoming." 

"Bill'll figure it out." 

"If Tess were that sick-"

"Don't. Don't even start with that." He cuts you off, and you sigh. 

"Is this really how we're gonna do this? Just not talk to each other about anything? Keep our heads in the sand until it's too late?" You ask. "Keep lying to ourselves that everything's normal?"

"You were just fine doin' that not even a week ago." He crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows at you. You know exactly what he's referring to. It's a tangle of limbs and whispers of so fuckin' pretty, 's like you were made for me, just like that, but you remember. Of fucking course, you remember every time he made you his and left the marks to prove it. Of course, you remember looking at him the next day like absolutely nothing happened, like he didn't fall to his knees in front of you like you were some long-forgotten deity. You and Joel are not people who do long-term relationships, especially not with each other. Still, his comment feels like a jab at the way you got dressed and left not even ten minutes after he came. 

"A week ago, we didn't have a fourteen-year-old to keep alive," you say. He sucks his teeth and looks down at his boots; clearly not a fan of your redirecting. "We're already going west. We might as well just finish this out and get her to the Fireflies. I'll even let you knock a few around if you really want to." 

"'S that supposed to be some kinda incentive?" 

"If finding your brother and doing what Tess asked us to do isn't enough, then yeah," he tenses when you say her name. It hurts to know she's gone. It hurts even more to know she sacrificed herself so you three would have a chance. You'll be damned if you let her death mean nothing. "And if we get to Bill and Frank's, and they won't take her, and you still don't want to do this, I'll take her myself."

"Not a chance." He counters before you can finish your sentence. You fight a smirk, knowing you've got him right where you want him, and he sighs heavily. You know he would never let you do this by yourself. He also knows he can't leave you to go back to yet another empty apartment and wait for him to come back alive or never hear from him again. For all your fighting, secrets, and unspoken agreements, you think there's no one else in this world you know better than Joel. You hope he thinks the same about you. 

"We get to Bill and Frank's, and then we make a decision, but we gotta agree somehow. Fair?" He relents, and you nod. 

"Fair." 

"Anythin' else we need to talk bout?" He asks, looking at you expectantly. Yes, you think. We need to talk about what made you beat the FEDRA soldier to death. We need to talk about Tess. We need to talk about how far we're willing to go to get to Tommy and drop this kid off. We need to talk like real people and not the shells we've been. 

"No," you say. "Nothing else."

"Good," he nods and walks past you, his shoulder brushing yours as he does. "Let's get moving."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @moonandseatgr-yngf @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @korynnekorynne @anavatazes (please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list/if I missed you!!)

[intelligentchristianlady]

The following is a quote from Heather Cox Richardson's newsletter:

In the Washington Post yesterday, neoconservative scholar Robert Kagan warned that “a Trump dictatorship is increasingly inevitable,” and today in The Bulwark, Jonathan V. Last agreed. He pointed to a conversation neoconservative thinker William Kristol had this week with journalist Jonathan Karl, in which Karl described a dystopian future painted not by Democrats but by former Trump employees: a government full of Trump loyalists who understand “that they are free to break the law because they will be pardoned” as Trump seeks retribution against those he sees as his enemies. 

[burningvelvet]

So anyway I've been reading about Restoration era writers & also learned that in Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester may have been partly inspired by the Restoration era poet John Wilmot Earl of Rochester, rambunctious sex legend & asshole extraordinaire. I totally support this theory & may include a reference to it in my Jane Eyre fic if I ever update it.

Interesting finds from John Wilmot and Mr. Rochester by Murray G. H. Pittock:

"Mr. Rochester is to an as yet unappreciated degree based upon the character and reputation of his namesake, John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester, whose career as it was popularly recorded is the model for the rakehell and penitent phases underlying the development of Mr. Rochester's character." (P 462)

"the Earl's mother 'was a daughter of Sir John St. John, an ancient family of Wiltshire.' The coincidence of the name with that of the alter hero of Jane Eyre is of course striking. This tract also contains an extended passage concerning Wilmot's propensity for disguise, a common feature of the religious Lives." (P 464)

"In both the real man and the fictional character, cynicism and misanthropy turn to faith. As early as Etherege, then, John Wilmot had become a literary archetype, the "devil-angel" of the wicked rake. But he was also, in the alternative tradition of the religious tracts, an archetype of the repentant sinner. Wilmot's pious end made him respectable, and he was in every sense an ideal figure on which to model his fictional namesake." (P 469)

"It is Mr. Rochester who characteristically uses Christian imagery to describe erotic feelings [..]" (P 462)

"Mr. Rochester associates himself with the devil. Quoting from Paradise Lost, he asks Jane 'not to attribute to me any such bad eminence' (p. 166)." (P 463)

i didn't know this but i mention paradise lost in my fic! even tho in her novel shirley, charlotte disses milton's depiction of eve (which i 100% agree with; my last semester i took an english renaissance class wherein i wrote about paradise lost & eve's oppression lol). heathcliff is also miltonian as i acknowledged in a prior post!!!

"Such talk of heaven and hell in the interests of passion are echoes in fact of Mr. Rochester's famous namesake." (P 463)

"The material that Bronte would use in creating the hero of Jane Eyre from his namesake was freely available at the time, and not only through the means of pious hearsay. Burnet's own account is based on interviews with the dying Earl, and because Wilmot's death was finally a pious one, the less risqué of his poems were often found in print. So thoroughly was Wilmot's profligate life associated in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries with his deathbed conversion, that it comes as no surprise to find his poems published in 1821 alongside those of Dr. Spratt, the Bishop of Rochester, in a one-volume collection enticingly titled The Cabinet of Love? Moreover, Burnet's Life was long popular, as its several editions testify, even in the "best" literary circles. Both Horace Walpole and Samuel Johnson wrote critiques which were incorporated into the edition issued in 1820. Such widely disseminated tales of reformed rakes and deathbed conversions were an important part of the literary culture of Brontes youth, reinforced by the Methodism introduced into the family circle by Aunt Branwell. It was not at all unusual, then, that Bronte should turn to John Wilmot in creating her own Mr. Rochester." (P 464)

"Passion untamed by religion until the moment of crisis is a mark of Charlotte Brontes fiction, and to make that mark, who better than a famous rake and a famous convert, John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester?" (P 469)

From John Wilmot, Mr Rochester and William Harrison Ainsworth by Robert Dingley:

"it is also possible that she drew hints from the Earl's depiction in William Harrison Ainsworth's bestselling novel Old St. Paul's (1841), where the Restoration rake displays a chameleon-like facility in disguise and twice attempts to entrap the woman by whom he is obsessed (and who in turn loves him) in spurious wedding ceremonies."

[first-of-her-nxme]

“At the hill's foot, Frodo found Aragorn, standing still and silent as a tree; but in his hand was a small golden bloom of elanor, and a light was in his eye. He was wrapped in some fair memory: and as Frodo looked at him he knew that he beheld things as they once had been in the same place. For the grim years were removed from the face of Aragorn, and he seemed clothed in white, a young lord tall and fair; and he spoke words in the Elvish tongue to one whom Frodo could not see. Arwen vanimelda, namarië! he said.” - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Jaqen H’ghar stood so still in the darkness that he seemed one of the trees. “A man comes to hear a name. One and two and then comes three. A man would have done.”

Arya lowered the splintery point toward the ground. “How did you know I was here?”

“A man sees. A man hears. A man knows.”

She regarded him suspiciously. Had the gods sent him? "How'd you make the dog kill Weese? Did you call Rorge and Biter up from hell? Is Jaqen H'ghar your true name?"

"Some men have many names. Weasel. Arry. Arya."

She backed away from him, until she was pressed against the heart tree. "Did Gendry tell?"

"A man knows," he said again. "My lady of Stark." - GRRM, A Clash of Kings

GRRM often refers to other books in ASOIAF. To be honest, he often borrows from other authors. Martin takes from many sources. There are things that he has borrowed from Tad Williams, Philippa Gregory, Robert Graves and even movies and songs. And, obviously, J.R.R. Tolkien. 

There are a few nods in Jaqen’s and Arya’s story to Aragorn and Arwen. 

These two passages I have quoted above seem to be similar and different and the same time. Similar because both heroes, Aragorn and Aegon ( Jaqen ), are compared to trees. They both stand still as trees because they are focused: they are watching their ladies, Arwen and Arya, respectively. Aragorn is recalling his betrothal to Arwen and he speaks to her. Aegon is watching Arya, then they start talking and their conversation is ridiculously loaded with wedding symbolism: he makes and oath to her and takes the Old Gods as witnesses, he kneels before her and she promises to obey him.

In Aegon’s case, his resemblance to the tree goes further: he has a strong connection to the magic of weirwood that is the driving force of Martin’s story. And, as usual, in GRRM’s books everything is darker than in Tolkien’s work. It is so grim that it is almost funny because Arya and Aegon make a bargain for murder while posing as a couple to be wed under the weirwood tree.

Reading these pieces together is like watching GRRM rewriting Tolkien’s sentences to transform the story into a new, dark romance.

 There is a reason for that darkness. Tolkien wrote about hope while GRRM has been writing about disappointment. Though there is still room for love.

[gipsyavnger]

Call of Duty OC: Isobel “Medusa” Williams

When she enlisted in the United States Army at eighteen, the Combat Exclusion Policy had yet to be lifted, so she could not follow in her father’s footsteps. Instead, Isobel followed in her grandfather’s footsteps and became one of the best attack helicopter pilots the Army produced. She was recruited to Task Force 141 by Captain John Price at the request of Kate Laswell.

GENERAL

Name: Isobel Guinevere Williams Call Signs: Medusa; Echo 0-1 Rank: Lieutenant (British Army); Warrant Officer 4 (US Army, former) Gender: Female Birthday: March 25th, 1991 Nationality: American Place of Birth: Fort Benning, Georgia Home: [Redacted], Herefordshire, England Spoken Languages: English (native), Italian (native), Spanish (fluent), Pashto (fluent), Arabic (fluent), and Russian (conversational) Sexuality: Heterosexual Occupation: British SAS operator for Task Force 141; AH-64D/E Pilot (Formerly; separated from the US Army)

AFFILIATIONS/RELATIONSHIPS

Family

Father: First Sergeant Colin Michael Williams AKA Coyote, US Army Ranger (retired) Mother: Maria Gulianna Williams née Giordano, US Army nurse (retired) Siblings: Sergeant Aoife Elisabeth Williams, US Army medic. Relationship with parents: Isobel adores her father. He’s her hero. She wanted to grow up and be tough and fierce just like him when she was a kid. Her relationship with her mother is a little strained at times. She loves her mom very much, but being raised by the hot-headed Italian made things a little interesting, especially when Isobel was trying to prove her independence while Aoife was running around being a little shit. Relationship with sibling: Isobel and Aoife fought like cats and dogs when they were younger. They were three years apart but so close in personality. Poor Colin had to deal with three Italian-tempered women running around his house, causing chaos. Isobel loves Aoife with all her heart, but they still have the typical sister relationship. They get on each other’s nerves but would kill to protect each other.

Extended Family These people are not related to her, but she grew up with them and views them as family:

“Uncle” Robert “Badger” Tully, US Army Ranger (retired)

“Uncle” Jack “Omaha” Wagner, US Army Ranger (retired)

“Uncle” Greg “Elvis” Sumner, US Army Ranger (retired)

Pets: None. She loves all animals. Except small yippy dogs. She especially hates Pomeranians and Chihuahuas. It stems from when she was six and was attacked by a small dog.

Task Force 141

Kate Laswell

Captain John Price (Bravo-6)

Sergeant John “Soap” MacTavish

Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

Los Vaqueros

Colonel Alejandro Vargas

Sergeant Major Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra 

APPEARANCE

Eye color: Dark brown, in the right light they look black Hair color: Dark brown; if she spends enough time in the sun it lightens to a soft brown Height: 5’4” / 164cm Build: Lean, muscular, and athletic Blood Type: AB+ Scars: Many; one over her right eyebrow, scars littered across her stomach, a long scar down her left shoulder, one down her right thigh (all from her first helicopter crash), and a bullet wound on the right side of her stomach (from the Alone mission) Face Claim: Lyndsy Fonseca

FAVORITES

Color: Black and red Food: Pistachio pesto over homemade tagliatelle pasta Drink: Coffee and/or an energy drink Alcohol: Bourbon Song: If I’m There – Bad Omens Album: Finding God Before God Finds Me – Bad Omens Flowers: Sunflowers and Lilacs Hairstyle: A loose messy bun, loose ponytail, or half up in a bun/half down (Normal/relaxed days); tight French braid or military standard bun (For missions)

PERSONALITY

Myers’s-Briggs Type: ISTJ-T (Turbulent Logictican)

Strong-willed and dutiful - Isobel’s integrity is everything to her, portraying it in her words and actions. She works hard and stays focused with patience and determination, which others admire.

Responsible - Her word is her promise, and promises mean everything to Isobel. She is loyal to a fault.

Jack-of-all-trades - Isobel is a repository for a vast wealth of knowledge. She learns quickly and can utilize what she’s learned at the drop of a hat.

Compassionate - She’s a bleeding heart for those in need, willing to throw herself into the line of fire to protect an innocent person without a second thought.

Intelligent - Isobel is an avid reader, consuming whatever she can get her hands on. Had she pursued college, she would have more than likely gone on to receive a Ph.D. in whatever subject she’d chosen to study. Safe to say, the woman is borderline genius.

When someone first meets her, Isobel can come across as stoic and withdrawn. It takes some prying, but eventually, she will open up to those willing to try to be her friend.

She goes into a certain mindset when in the heat of battle. She looks like she could kill you and probably will kill you.

Permanent case of resting bitch face

SKILLS AND ABILITIES

Fighting style: Sambo, Krav Maga, Judo with a mix of Kali

Weapon(s):

Sniper Rifle: Barrett MRAD .308

Semi-Automatic Rifle: M4A1

Pistol: Sig Sauer M17

Knives: 5–10 thin, easily concealable blades hidden/tucked into her tactical vest; great for throwing or stabbing. Not meant for slashing.

Distinct Weapon: Her concealed knives for close combat

Special Skills: An expert in tracking, survival, and hunting.

TRIVIA

Is obsessed with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

She has a ridiculous amount of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings lore memorized and can recall it anytime.

She has a replica of Darth Vader’s lightsaber, Aragorn’s sword Andúril, Legolas’s dual blades, and Arwen’s blade Hadhafang in storage at her parents’ place

Loves to read; her book collection is ridiculous. Isobel isn’t picky about what genre she reads, either.

She was caught reading a few times when she flew helicopters and was stuck on standby.

One of her favorite things to do in her downtime is go to used and new bookstores and browse for hours.

In her senior year of high school, she applied to Yale, Brown, and Columbia to keep her parents happy. She was accepted into all three but declined and enlisted in the military instead.

She married Lucas Greer (US Army Paratrooper, deceased) when she was nineteen. Their marriage was rough, and they legally separated when she was 27. The divorce was finalized in 2019 when she was 28.

She stays in touch with Lucas’s parents every once in a while.

The end of the marriage to their son was rough, but despite that, Isobel loved her in-laws. They were nothing but kind to her through everything that happened.

Covers her prominent scars with tattoos, but she’s also obsessed with tattoos. She currently has five, the biggest of which is her partial back piece.

Has a lovely singing voice, but her party trick is her ability to scream like Courtney LaPlante.

BACKGROUND

Born to a mother who served in the US Army as a nurse and a father who held the record for the most kills under any Army Ranger’s belt until he retired, Isobel grew up in a military household. When she was younger, she wanted to rebel against her parents and become a lawyer, but she always idolized her parents and eventually grew out of her lawyer phase.

Growing up, Isobel spent every second she could with her father when he was home. Colin deployed a lot, so the man treasured each moment he could be with his family. He took Isobel (and her younger sister once she was old enough) on every hunting trip, using the time to teach her how to shoot. He also taught her the Ranger Way. By the time Isobel was in high school, she was an expert in tracking, survival, and evasion. If needed, she could survive off the land for an indefinite amount of time, given the right tools.

Isobel had a somewhat normal high school experience. Her senior year, she was the Track & Field team's captain, bringing her team the gold for the 200 and 400-meter sprint at the State Championship and anchoring the relay team to take home first place. Besides participating in sports, Isobel was the captain of the debate team and a member of the National Honor Society.

Thanks partly to her well-rounded high school career, Isobel had her pick of colleges to choose from…but that was the opposite of what she wanted. On the day of her eighteenth birthday, she marched down to the nearest Army recruiter and enlisted.

She made it through Basic Training with flying colors, earning herself an Expert Marksmanship badge. Sadly, she couldn’t pursue her dream of becoming an Army Ranger like her father, so she became an attack helicopter pilot instead.

Upon graduating from Warrant Officer Candidate School and Warrant Officer Pilot School and flight training, Isobel found herself a fully-fledged AH-64D/E (Apache Longbow/Guardian) pilot with the callsign “Medusa.” Around this time, she also met her future husband Lucas Greer. He was a dashing paratrooper, and their romance was a whirlwind. Within three months, they were married. Things were blissful before the deployments started, but during their second deployment, Lucas began getting abusive. 

The marriage continued to grow more and more toxic, and eventually, friends and family began to take notice. One in particular was Hannah “Sparrow” Clayton, Isobel’s best friend. During this time, Sparrow had an accident climbing K2 in Asia. The night Isobel got the call saying Sparrow had disappeared was the straw that broke the camel’s back, immediately filling for legal separation when Sparrow woke up from her coma. 

By 2019, twenty-eight-year-old Isobel was legally divorced and happier than she had felt in years. She completed another two tours before being shot down by an enemy RPG after she and her gunner were scrambled to deal with the aftermath of the 2021 Hamid Karzai International Airport bombing, which landed her at Walter Reed Medical Center.

Isobel had served her country for twelve years, facing the prospect of being medically separated from the US Army or stuck behind a desk for the rest of her career. That’s when Laswell sent the uncut footage of the helicopter crash to Captain John Price, informing him that she was recruiting Isobel to Task Force 141.

Price arrived at the hospital and officially recruited Isobel on Laswell’s behalf. Isobel spent six months with TF141 before the Los Almas and Chicago events transpired. After proving her mettle, Price pulled some strings and pushed some paper to have Isobel officially become a member of the British Armed Forces to go through the SAS selection process.

After passing the grueling training, she came out the other side a member of the British SAS and a full-time member of Task Force 141.

[yr-obedt-cicero]

Platonic communal sleeping in the American colonies

Platonic bed-sharing was actually quite common custom in the colonies, especially during time's of need, after all, space and privacy were a luxury of the wealthy. It didn't necessarily have to be intimate either, it was not uncommon for sometimes even complete strangers - often travelers or soldiers - of the same sex to share a bed together at an Inn if there was little space, and needed room. Samuel Pepys, an 18th century diarist, often slept with male friends and wrote about the conversations they would have at night. [x]

Rotundo also explains that; “It is not too much to suggest that in an era before central heating, the body warmth of an already beloved bedmate may have been so welcome as to be a source of emotional as well as physical pleasure.” And implies that while it was most of the time done out of necessity, it was also oftentimes simply a warming act of affection, romantic or platonic; “This was, after all, a culture that fervently contrasted the secure and cozy warmth of home with the coldness of a cruel and heartless world outside… A bed, when shared with a special person, could become a nest of intimacy, a place of casual touch and confidential talk.” [x]

Additionally, during the days before central heating was truly a common thing (Especially if you weren't royal or wealthy), bedmates were also seen as warmth. Oftentimes servants even slept alongside their mistresses. This was also how many sicknesses would spread, as bedbugs and lice were transported from person to person in the colonial period usually when sharing bunks or close quarters.

Even notable figures took part in this custom, like Robert Troup and Alexander Hamilton, as Chernow writes how the two shared beds while studying law together at King's College; “At King's, Troup wrote, ‘...they occupied the same room and slept in the same bed’” [x]

Which also leads to a humourous story about when John Adams slept with Benjamin Franklin in a New Jersey tavern during the fall of 1776. Just ten days prior, Washington and his men had barely escaped capture on Long Island after a suffering defeat to the British. The Continental Congress had debated for days about what was to be done. The British had captured General John Sullivan during the Battle, Earl Howe and his brother William Howe paroled Sullivan so he could take a message to Congress, as they wanted a talk peace. Eventually, Sullivan went to Philadelphia and spoke to Congress about the peace talks, to which the Congress decided that they would send a three-man committee to Staten Island. Which was composed of; Benjamin Franklin, Edward Rutledge, and Adams. The men represented the northern, middle and southern colonies. The three had set out on September 9th, Franklin and Rutledge each in a two-wheeled chaise, Adams on horseback. Later, the three men arrived in New Brunswick, and unfortunately had found the Inns all too crowded. Which led to Franklin and Adams having to share a tiny room, barely bigger than the bed, without a chimney, in the Indian Queen Tavern. Which then began an interesting debate, as they prepared to retire;

The window was open, and I, who was an invalid and afraid of the air in the night, shut it close. “Oh!” says Franklin, “don't shut the window, we shall be suffocated.” I answered, I was afraid of the evening air. Dr. Franklin replied, “The air within this chamber will soon be, and indeed is now, worse than that without doors. Come, open the window and come to bed, and I will convince you. I believe you are not acquainted with my theory of colds.” Opening the window, and leaping into bed, I said I had read his letters to Dr. Cooper, in which he had advanced, that nobody ever got cold by going into a cold church or any other cold air, but the theory was so little consistent with my experience, that I thought it a paradox. However, I had so much curiosity to hear his reasons that I would run the risk of a cold. The Doctor then began a harangue upon air and cold, and respiration and perspiration, with which I was so much amused that I soon fell asleep, and left him and his philosophy together, but I believe they were equally sound and insensible within a few minutes after me, for the last words I heard were pronounced as if he was more than half asleep. I remember little of the lecture...

Source — The Works of John Adams, Volume 3, by John Adams

Especially during time of war, when the revolution was rough, and means were low. Or as some day; “These are the times that try men's souls”. If the army was running low on space, or even beds, many - if not most - men resorted to sharing the same bed. Although this particular custom was not as accepted by many European visitors who came to the colonies, this cultural difference was often completely condemned by them. Pierre Du Ponceau - an aide of Baron von Steuben's - wrote of a particular dispute between a Virginian and a Frenchman about the subject in his autobiography;

One evening at an Inn in Virginia, a Frenchman and a Virginian were discussing about the manners of their respective countries. The American exclaimed violently against the horrid custom of the French of kissing one another at meeting and parting. The Frenchman made no answer, but as it was late, he took his candle and went up to bed. He was soon followed by the Virginian who after undressing came to take his place in the same bed with his companion “Stop, Sir,” said the Frenchman, “that won't do—I shall kiss you as much as you please, but by Jupiter, I'll not sleep with you.”

Source — Autobiographical Letters Of Peter S. Duponceau

It seems like this custom was almost exclusively English/Colonial, as David Montagu Erskine wrote to his father in 1799 of the living arrangements he and his companions encountered among the transient inhabitants of Washington, DC;

Each of us have a bed room to ourselves, if we chuse, but people in this country seem to think so lightly of such an indispensable comfort as I consider it, that I believe there are but three of us, who have rooms to ourselves.

Source — Menk, Patricia Holbert. “D. M. Erskine: Letters from America, 1798-1799.” The William and Mary Quarterly, Volume 6.

Edward Thornton, secretary to the new British minister to the United States, wrote to his former employer in 1792;

Mr. Hammond's rank may possibly secure him from some of the inconveniences, which others, rendered fastidious by the style of travelling in England, are loud in their complaints of, such as [...] fellow lodgers in the same room and not infrequently in the same bed.

Source — Jackman, S. W. “A Young Englishman Reports on the New Nation: Edward Thornton to James Bland Burges, 1791-1793.” The William and Mary Quarterly, Volume 18

This custom was even common after the revolution and the war of 1812—As Lieutenant John Le Couteur, a British army officer from the Isle of Jersey, traveled through New York in 1816 accompanied by Captain George Thew Burke. Le Couteur and Burke arrived at an Inn one day after dinner had been served and cleared, and they were hard-pressed to convince the hostess to bring out more food, “But this was not the last grievance.” Le Couteur recorded in his diary and concluded;

There was only one spare bed, a small one, which of course I insisted Burke should take. The Yankee Landlord wished me to take half of it as a matter of course but I said: “we Britishers were particular on that pint.’ “Then,” said mine host, “I guess if you don’t chuse to take half a bed with some one, you’ll jist sleep in a cheer [chair] or by the kitchen fire’

Source — Male-Male Intimacy in Early America: Beyond Romantic Friendships, by William E Benemann

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

After that poll, I hope the currently 50-odd-% of you out there who haven't read the book now appreciate the great service I'm offering here. :P

Chapter Fifty-Three: Golding

Robert Golding, 22 years-old and God's Perfect Idiot, returns to camp from a hunting/leads party led by Des Voeux. He's all a dither and has a message for the Captain's ears only - they've found Silna and Tuunbaq both dead out on the ice, apparently, and want only Crozier and Goodsir to come out to see the bodies.

The lie is such a hilariously transparent one that it's almost difficult to see why Crozier even give it the time of day - I suspect it's mainly the repeated, confusing mention of various men injured in some non-specific way that makes him decide to check out the situation for himself.

Golding repeatedly refers to polynyas (isolated holes in the ice) as either "polyps" or "polyannas" during the conversation, which is just very funny to me.

He also, however, refers to Silna with an unsavoury term one might use for a female dog, and openly sniggers at the idea of her gory death, which is incredibly infuriating to me. I'm not going to include a quote here: suffice it to say Fuck You, Simmons - absolutely nae need for it. >:(

A small party of men make their way out to the supposed site of the bodies (Crozier ignored Golding's pleas that he and Goodsir should come alone, and has brought John Lane and Captain of the Hold William Goddard along too). No sooner do they arrive though, and hear what they believe to be Des Voeux's party nearby, than all hell breaks loose!

Crozier and Goodsir are seized by mutineers, knives held to their throats, while Lane and Goddard are knocked out cold, their heads bashed together by Manson who appears suddenly from the shadows. "Are they alive?" rasped Crozier... Hickey leaned over as if to inspect the men, and, with two smooth, easy moves, cut both their throats with a knife that had suddenly appeared in his hand. "Not now they ain't alive, Mr High-And-Mighty Crozier" said the caulker's mate.

A bit of back-and-forth follows between the two of them. Some of it made me laugh again in places: "What do you want, Mr Hickey?" asked Crozier... "I want you to shut the fuck up and then die slow and hard." said Hickey. But the weird levity doesn't last long as the fate of another one of Crozier's last loyal men is revealed: "What'd you always call Johnson [Tom Johnson] in private, King Crozier? Your strong right arm? Here." He tossed a naked and bloody right arm, severed just above the elbow, white bone gleaming, through the air and watched it land at Crozier's feet.

Crozier doesn't give Hickey the satisfaction of an emotional response, merely replies "You pathetic little smear of spittle. You are - and always have been - nothing." This is more than enough to incense Hickey, whose face contorts into "something non-human", his lips drawn back like a scurvy victim and eyes filled with "something beyond madness, far beyond mere hatred." He orders Manson to strangle Crozier, specifies that he should do it slowly, even, which is just delicious to me. A curiously bloodless option for despatch, as well as a deeply personal, intimate one.

Before Manson can obey though, Crozier shoots him in the stomach with a small gun he'd managed to keep hidden. He's shot several times himself in return but ultimately manages to escape out into the surrounding labyrinth of ice, leaving a trail of blood behind him. Goodsir tries his damnedest to escape too but is quickly overpowered by Golding.

Hickey is far more concerned about Manson's injury than Manson himself seemingly is, rushing over and demanding that Goodsir attend to him immediately: "Cornelius, honey." Magnus Manson's voice had the tone of an injured child. "My stomach is starting to hurt." Hickey wheeled, "Goodsir, give him something for the pain."

Hickey and Aylmore then follow the trail of Crozier's blood only to find it ends at a polynya in the ice, Crozier's coat floating in the dark water. They continue searching for him for three more hours - Hickey is determined to find Crozier even if only to have the satisfaction of shooting the Captain's waterlogged corpse.

In the meantime, Golding is assigned the grisly task of butchering Lane and Goddard's bodies. He's positively drenched in gore by the time he's done with everyone taken aback by his appearance - all except for Hickey, who laughs heartily at it before they all move on again with fresh meat and poor Goodsir in tow.

[homomenhommes]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 26

1716 – Thomas Gray, the English writer, was born on this date (d.1771). "My life is now but a perpetual conversation with your shadow - The known sound of your voice still rings in my ears. I cannot bear this place, where I have spend many tedious years within less than a month, after you left me ..." So wrote Thomas Gray to a young man when he was 54. Professor of Modern History at Cambridge University and one of the best known poets of his time. He was also more than likely still a virgin, although he may have had a homosexual affair with Horace Walpole when he was younger.

The author of "An Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard," Gray had lived most of his life with his mother, but was known to have cultivated the Platonic friendship of handsome young men. One of Professor Gray's young men introduced him to the Swiss charmer, Charles de Bonstetten – and Gray was hooked. He was profoundly, deeply in love. When Bonstetten left Cambridge a year later, the poet was devastated. But the friends exchanged letters, and the young man suggested they take a walking tour together in Bonstetten's native Switzerland. Gray was overjoyed. The trip was scheduled for the summer of 1771 and Gray wrote tireless letters of devotion while counting the ticking minutes. Finally, the time was near. He would be leaving to see his handsome young man again. The poor poet dropped dead before he had taken one step out the door.

1795 – William Drummond Stewart (d.1871) was a Scottish adventurer and British military officer and homosexual. He traveled extensively in the American West for nearly seven years in the 1830s. In 1837 he took along the American artist, Alfred Jacob Miller, hiring him to do sketches of the trip. Many of his completed oil paintings of American Indian life and the Rocky Mountains originally hung in Murthly Castle, though they have now been dispersed to a number of private and public collections.

Born at Murthly Castle, Perthshire, Scotland, Stewart was the second son and one of seven children of Sir George Stewart, 17th Laird of Grandtully, 5th Baronet of Murthly and of Blair. The family decided that William would go into the Army (as his older brother would inherit his father's estate and title). After his seventeenth birthday in 1812, William asked his father to buy him a cornetcy in the 6th Dragoon Guards. After his appointment was confirmed on April 15, 1813, he immediately joined his regiment and began a programme of rigorous training.

Stewart was anxious to participate in military action; so in 1813, his father purchased for him an appointment to a Lieutenancy in the 15th King's Hussars, which was already in action during the Peninsular Campaign. In 1814, Stewart joined his regiment, subsequently seeing combat during the Waterloo campaign in 1815. In 1820, Stewart was promoted to a Captain and soon thereafter retired on half pay.

Seeking adventure, Stewart traveled to St. Louis, Missouri in 1832, where he brought letters of introduction to William Clark, Pierre Chouteau, Jr.,William Ashley and other prominent residents. He arranged to accompany Robert Campbell, who was taking a pack train to the 1833 rendezvous of mountain men, an annual all-male gathering of fur traders, a drunken debauch held each summer when trappers gathered to trade their pelts for food, liquor and manufactured goods brought to the Rockies from St. Louis by companies of fur traders.

The party left St. Louis on May 7 and attended the Horse Creek Rendezvous in the Green River Valley of Wyoming. Here Stewart met the mountain men Jim Bridger and Thomas Fitzpatrick, as well as Benjamin Bonneville, who was leading a governmental expedition in the area.

At the rendezvous Stewart met the Metis (French Canadian and Cree) hunter Antoine Clement, with whom he began a homosexual relationship. With some of the men, Stewart visited the Big Horn Mountains, wintered at Taos, and attended the next rendezvous at Ham's Fork of the Green River. Later that year, he journeyed to Fort Vancouver, Washington, at the coast of the Pacific Ocean.

Stewart attended the 1835 rendezvous at the mouth of New Fork River on the Green and reached St. Louis in November. Finding that his finances were curtailed because he brother had failed to forward his share of the estate left by their father, Stewart went to New Orleans, speculated in cotton to recoup, and wintered in Cuba.

In May, he joined Fitzpatrick's train to the Rockies for another rendezvous on Horse Creek. For the rendezvous of 1837, Stewart took along an American artist, Alfred Jacob Miller, whom he hired in New Orleans. Miller painted a notable series of works on the mountain men, the rendezvous, American Indians, and Rocky Mountain scenes. He wintered in 1836-1837 and 1837-38 at New Orleans, where he speculated again in cotton. In 1838 he learned that his childless older brother John had died of an undisclosed disease (probably cancer). William Stewart would become the seventh baronet of Murthly.

"Attack by Crow Indians" Alfred Jacob Miller

After his older brother John Stewart died childless in 1838, William inherited the baronetcy and returned to Scotland, taking with him his partner Antoine Clement, and the couple lived in Dalpowie Lodge, while entertaining in Murthly Castle. Stewart explained Clement's presence by at first referring to him as his valet, then as his footman. Because Clement was restless and unhappy in Scotland, the couple spent many months traveling abroad, including an extended visit to the Middle East.

In 1842 he returned to America, and in the summer of 1843 hosted a private rendezvous-style party at a remote lake in the Rockies (now called Fremont Lake). On that trip Jean Baptiste Charbonneau, the son of��Sacagawea of the Lewis and Clark Expedition was hired to care for the mules.

Stewart returned to North America in late 1842, and in the September of 1843 he and a large entourage traveled to what is now Fremont Lake. Stewart brought with him a large array of velvet and silk Renaissance costumes for his all-male guests to wear during the festivities. He hauled wagon loads of canned delicacies, cigars, liqueurs and champagne. Fur trader William Sublette co-hosted the party with Stewart. Though there had been no rendezvous since 1840, the party had many elements of the old Rocky Mountain gatherings. Stewart had planned to spend the winter of 1843-44 in New Orleans, and visit Taos and Santa Fe the following spring, but the Renaissance "pleasure trip" ended in a dispute that split the party and caused Stewart to return to Scotland earlier than he had planned, never to return to the United States.

In 1856 Stewart's American friend Ebenezer Nichols, his wife, and three sons, visited from Texas. When it came time to leave Scotland, the Nichols's middle son, Franc, declined to return home. He instead stayed on with William Drummond Stewart at Murthly Castle, possibly in a sexual relationship, eventually being adopted by Stewart and becoming his primary heir.

Stewart died of pneumonia on April 28, 1871.

Stewart wrote two autobiographical novels based on his experiences in America, Altowan (1846) and Edward Warren (1854). Both novels include surprisingly frank homoerotic scenes.

1933 – On this date the Gay classic film Queen Christina was released and starred Greta Garbo in the lead role. The American pre-code historical drama film was directed by Rouben Mamoulian and written by H. M. Harwood and Salka Viertel and based on a story by Salka Viertel and Margaret P. Levino.

The movie is very loosely based on the life of the 17th century Queen Christina of Sweden, who, in the film, falls in love during her reign but has to deal with the political realities of her society. It was billed as Garbo's return to cinema after an eighteen-month hiatus.

1971 – Jared Leto is an American actor, singer, songwriter, and director. After starting his career with television appearances in the early 1990s, Leto achieved recognition for his role as Jordan Catalano on the television series My So-Called Life (1994).

He made his film debut in How to Make an American Quilt (1995) and received first notable critical praise for his performance in Prefontaine (1997). Leto played supporting roles in The Thin Red Line (1998), Fight Club (1998) and American Psycho (2000), as well as the lead role in Urban Legend (1998), and earned critical acclaim after portraying heroin addict Harry Goldfarb in Requiem for a Dream (2000).

He later began focusing increasingly on his music career. Leto is the lead vocalist, multi-instrumentalist and main songwriter for Thirty Seconds to Mars, a band he formed in 1998 in Los Angeles, California, with his older brother Shannon Leto. Their debut album, 30 Seconds to Mars (2002), was released to positive reviews but only to limited success. The band achieved worldwide fame with the release of their second album A Beautiful Lie (2005). The band has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. Leto has also directed music videos, including the MTV Video Music Award–winning "The Kill" (2006), "Kings and Queens" (2009), and "Up in the Air" (2013).

Leto's performance as a transgender woman in Dallas Buyers Club (2013) earned him the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, among numerous other accolades. Leto is considered to be a method actor, known for his constant devotion to and research of his roles. He often remains completely in character for the duration of the shooting schedules of his films, even to the point of adversely affecting his health.

Leto is a gay rights activist. In October 2009, he raised money to the campaign against California Proposition 8, created by opponents of same-sex marriage to overturn the California Supreme Court decision that had legalized same-sex marriage. He spoke out in support of LGBT rights group Freedom Action Inclusion Rights (FAIR). In May 2012, he expressed support after hearing that Barack Obama had endorsed same-sex marriage.

Although Leto presents himself as straight in real life, Alexis Arquette - the transgender sister of David Arquette - claimed "I had sex with Jared Leto back when I was presenting as a male," Alexis stated. "And yes, it's not only massive, it's like a Praetorian Guard's helmet."

You can watch him grab and flaunt this "massive" chunk of meat at a 30 Seconds to Mars concert performance in Toronto in 2014 in the gif clip below.

1973 – Reichen Lehmkuhl, (born Richard Allen Lehmkuhl) is an American former reality show winner, model, and occasional actor. A former United States Air Force officer, he is best known for winning season four of the reality game show The Amazing Race with his then-partner Chip Arndt, and for his much publicized 2006 relationship with pop singer Lance Bass.

After Lehmkuhl's parents, a policeman and a nurse, divorced when he was five, his family moved to Norton, Massachusetts, and his mother remarried. Sometime after 2002, he changed his first name legally from Richard to Reichen. Lehmkuhl graduated from the United States Air Force Academy. He has since advocated for gay rights in the military as a spokesperson for Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.

Lehmkuhl was working simultaneously as a physics teacher at Crossroads School for the Arts and Sciences, flight instructor and model in Los Angeles when he was approached by a casting director for The Amazing Race. Lehmkuhl and Chip Arndt were a couple during the competition but have since split. Lehmkuhl moved to Dallas, Texas briefly after his win on The Amazing Race but before all episodes had been broadcast. Reichen's spending habits at that time caused speculation that he had won The Amazing Race — and that he and Arndt had broken up. During the show, the couple was typically described as "Married" in the subtitles that are used to illustrate the relationship between team members (other teams being, for example, "Best Friends" or "Father-Daughter").

Lehmkuhl hosted The Reichen Show on Q Television Network until Q Television ceased operations in May 2006. His autobiography Here's What We'll Say, about his time in the Air Force under the military's commonly called "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, was released by Carroll and Graf on October 28, 2006. The New York Post reported in November 2010 that the book had been adapted into a screenplay. He published a beefcake calendar for several years and has appeared on sitcoms, soap operas, and other reality television shows.

On July 2006, former 'N Sync band member Lance Bass told People Magazine that he is gay and in a "very stable relationship" with Lehmkuhl. The couple broke up in January 2007. Bass said they remained "good friends".

On May 1, 2007, the LGBT-interest television network here! announced that Lehmkuhl had joined the cast for the third season of its original gothic soap opera, Dante's Cove. He plays the role of Trevor, originally described as "a business school graduate who comes to Dante's Cove looking to find himself."

Lehmkuhl also has a jewelry line called Flying Naked composed of flight-themed jewelry made of titanium steel. Items from the collection are being sold from loveandpride.com. A percentage of each sale goes to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.

Lehmkuhl starred in My Big Gay Italian Wedding, an off-Broadway production from its opening May 5, 2010 in New York City to July 24, 2010. A percentage of ticket sales promoted legalization of same-sex marriages in the US through Broadway Impact.

LGBT-interest network Logo announced on June 3, 2010, that Lehmkuhl and boyfriend, model Rodiney Santiago had joined the cast of Logo's reality series, The A-List: New York. The low-rated series, frequently described as a "Real Housewives"-style show, was cancelled after two seasons. Since the airing, Lehmkuhl and Santiago are no longer a couple.

1995 – Conner Mertens is an American football placekicker for the Willamette Bearcats. He was the first active college football player to publicly come out about his sexuality; he came out as bisexual.

Mertens grew up in Kennewick in Tri-Cities, Washington, where he was the youngest of four boys in his family. Growing up, he always excelled at sports. He concentrated on athletics after an incident in fifth grade in which classmates teased him for remaining in costume and makeup after a drama competition.

According to Mertens, the environment at Southridge High School was "hostile", as he was surround by a culture of homophobia. He said the Tri-Cities was not the most friendly area toward the LGBT community. In 2012, 63 percent of the area voted against a measure for same-sex marriage that was ultimately approved by the state. Starting with his sophomore year in high school, Mertens was active in Young Life, a national organization that preaches Christianity to youth. After being in trouble in his freshman year, he credited Young Life with turning his life around.

Mertens redshirted and did not play football in his freshman year due to an anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) injury to his left knee from playing soccer. In January 2014, Mertens came out as bisexual, the first active college football player at any level to publicly come out. With his announcement, he was banned from working with Young Life, which he had been certain would be a part of the rest of his life; the organization's "Faith and Conduct Policies" did not allow any LGBT person to be a staff member or volunteer, though they could participate as "recipients of ministry of God's grace and mercy as expressed in Jesus Christ."

He became Willamette's kicker in 2014, when he also received limited opportunities as a punter. In his senior year, Mertens was named the placekicker on the Tri-City Herald All-Area second team. He was also a four-year starter on Southridge's soccer team. Conner is also a member of the Sigma Chi Fraternity.

Mertens is featured in Out to Win, a documentary about LGBT participation in American sports.