#with her bandmates help she starts trying to find out what was holding her back and although she tried hard to not let the conclusion be

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Linger

Sirius Black x rockstar! f!reader

warnings: smut, p in v, rough sex, like pretty rough guys he bites you till you bleed, underage drinking, underage smoking, a lot of smoking tbh, drunkish sex, kinda has a plot so yeah lmk if i missed anything

summary: you and your band mates decide to go out to a pub, where you end up meeting the most handsome boy you’ve ever seen.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: guys i’m so bad at these summaries holy. this is probably my favorite fic i’ve written. the flirting and the tension like omg. trust me. also, let’s pretend The Runaways are british and let’s pretend everything id accurate hahaha. enjoy ;)

~~~

“Do you think we’ll be recognized tonight?”

You turn to your bandmate, Joan, and shrug. “It’s fifty-fifty.”

“What pub are we going to again?” She asks.

“The one where they let underage people in, of course, you’re still the only one who’s twenty-one in the band you know,” you reply.

The other two members of your band, Sandy and Lita, are ahead of you, engulfed in their own conversation. You slide your hands into the pockets of your jacket and try to keep up. You’ve been in the band for a few months as the new lead singer. Their old one left to start her own band, claiming it to be more successful. Yet your band is the one that’s gotten sold-out shows, interviews on television, and pictures in magazines. Sometimes you like to think it was fate that she left, and you just so happened to be in town the night they were holding auditions. The fans surely enjoy your voice more, they make you out to be the leader even though you’re only seventeen and the newest member. You don’t mind though, and neither do your bandmates.

It’s almost ten when you arrive at the pub and thankfully no one has recognized you yet, or they have and simply haven’t said anything. There’s no one at the door to check IDs just like Sandy had said. The four of you enter fast and find a table. The music is loud, the lights are low, and people are dancing all over. You like it, a lot.

“Drinks?” Lita questions a few seconds after you sit.

“You know it!” Joan replies.

“I’ll be right back then.”

Sandy takes out a pack of cigarettes. “Care for one?”

“Obviously,” you answer, holding your hand out. She hands you one, you’re quick to light it and stick it between your lips, inhaling a deep breath of smoke. “How come the police haven’t found this place?”

Joan rolls her eyes. “They have.”

“And? Why don’t they shut it down?”

“They have people who come here, of course, sons, daughters, you know that sort of thing. It may be illegal but it’s trustworthy,” she explains. “Why do you care anyway?”

You shrug. “Just curious I suppose.”

Lita arrives back at the table, four glasses held in her arms. You take yours fast, eager to taste whatever liquor she got for you. It’s bitter, with a hint of sweetness in it. Based on the color as well, your guess is some sort of vodka mix. You drink it despite the awful aftertaste it leaves in your mouth. The cigarette between your fingers helps a bit. The four of you talk for a while and enjoy the peace of having no fans around.

“You should go to the bar y/n,” Lita says after some time. “Or well it might be too late now, but when I was there, I saw a boy your age, remarkably handsome.”

Sandy laughs. “You’re trying to send her home with someone already?”

Lita nudges the other girl with her shoulder. “No, I’m only trying to get some new song material.”

“We’ll see if there’s any potential,” you say, taking the last sip of your drink and getting up. You brush down your hair. “Do I look alright?”

“You’re always beautiful,” Joan answers, letting out a cloud of smoke.

“Wish me luck.” You chuckle before heading to the bar.

With every step you take, you feel eyes on you. Most belong to older men who shouldn’t even be paying you any mind. You’re used to the feeling of being watched, with all the fans and paparazzi that corner you before and after gigs. So, you move through the pub without a second thought about it.

In the back of your head, you curse yourself for not asking Lita what the guy looks like. For a moment you question how you’re supposed to find him, but then your curious eyes find one guy who stands out. He’s leaning on the wall, a glass in his hand and a cigarette between his lips. Based on his face, you figure he can’t be more than nineteen. And oh, how right Lita was. His hair is dark and long, almost reaching his shoulders. He’s dressed in a simple white tee shirt and baggy jeans. Despite the distance, you swear you can make out a sliver of a tattoo on his shoulder. He’s gorgeous, almost too gorgeous.

You approach him carefully, thinking of different opening lines in your head. Would it be wrong to use your fame to get him to take you home? Probably. But you’ve seen Joan do it plenty of times. She always says it’s simply a tool and that you should use it to your advantage. You’ve never done it though. Perhaps it’s your little amount of consciousness that remains that tells you it’s wrong. You don’t know and the alcohol in your system doesn’t help. So, when you reach him, you say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hi.”

He looks at you, the cigarette dangling between his lips. “Hello.”

“How old are you?” You ask, immediately feeling stupid for such a question.

“What are you a cop?” He chuckles.

You feel your cheeks heat up. “No uh... sorry.”

“It’s fine love, just not a very good pick-up line,” he replies. He takes his cigarette out, his eyes locked on yours. “Especially since you look like you’re sixteen.”

“Seventeen actually.” You correct him.

“Ah, well there’s something we share then.”

Something about the way he’s looking at you comforts you. There’s no recognition in his eyes at all. You can tell. To him, you are just another girl. Not the lead singer of The Runaways. Just a simple girl.

“You can try again if you’d like,” he says. You look at him, confused. “Try another pick-up line.”

You gently smile and think for a few seconds. Nothing better comes to mind.

“Come here often?”

He laughs. “Somehow I think that was worse than the first one.”

“Sorry. Usually, I’m better at this sort of thing,” you reply. You put your hands back in your pockets, suddenly feeling very hot with embarrassment.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s cute.”

There’s a moment of silence. He takes a sip of his drink; you stare at his hand. The way it looks wrapped around the glass makes your stomach fill with butterflies. You hate how much you want him to take you home. You don’t even know his name. But he’s handsome, so much so it makes you unable to think straight. You need to know more.

“Are you from around here?”

He nods. “Born and raised in London. You?”

For a split second you wonder, if he’s from London how come he doesn’t know who you are? Sure, your band isn’t on the same level of success as Queen or ACDC but you’re also not underground. You push the thought away.

“Originally from Westchester but now I’m here in London for... work,” you answer.

“Work? I thought you were seventeen.”

“Yes but, eighteen next month. I already finished school.”

He takes another drag of his cigarette. “Wish I could say the same, I still have another year left. Though, I rather enjoy school, gets me away from my dear parents.”

“Oh, where do you go?”

You notice the way he shifts his posture. “Out of the country, you wouldn’t know of it.”

“Like a boarding school?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

You look around the pub, a slight feeling of awkwardness blooming within you. You don’t know why you’re so nervous. You’ve done this before. You decide to blame it on the cheap vodka because really, you’re better than this.

“So, what’s your name then?” You ask after a few more minutes.

“Does it really matter?” He replies, catching you a bit off guard. He flicks the ash off his cigarette, his dark eyes on yours. “All of it’s the same.”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Don’t play dumb love, I know this isn’t your first time. I’m sure you’ve chatted up many other lads and had them take you home.” There’s something about the tone in which he speaks that has your knees almost wobble.

“Why would you think that?”

He sighs, leaning over to a small table discards his cigarette in an ashtray, and leaves his glass. When he leans back on the wall, now with both of his hands-free, he buries them in the pockets of his baggy jeans. He looks down at you with an expression that could send your morals far out of mind. You want him, terribly. And you think he knows this.

“Besides the fact that you said you’re usually better at this, you’re also possibly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he eventually answers.

You can’t help but roll your eyes. “I highly doubt that, but nevertheless thanks for the compliment.”

“I mean it. Most girls I see still wear those long skirts and sweaters, but you, you’re dressed like you could pass as a rock star.”

Your face heats up once again. You know he’s right. With your leather jacket, flared jeans, high-heeled boots, and small tight top you know it’s clear what kind of person you are. Your makeup only adds to it, black smudged eyeliner and glitter on your eyes. It’s a toned-down version of what you wear on stage. He doesn’t need to know that though.

You give him a smile and shrug. “Rock is my favorite genre, what can I say? You sort of got that look too though, not quite as intense.”

“Not a gentleman?” He chuckles.

“No.” You laugh, shaking your head. “At least I hope not.”

“I see. You don’t fancy the good boys. Well fortunately for you, I’m a bit of a troublemaker. At least, that’s what my schoolmates and family say,” he mentions. “What’s wrong with the good boys anyway? They could treat you like a lady.”

“Too gentle, I’m not a fan of it,” you answer honestly.

He smirks, sending warmth straight to your core. “So is your intention to get me out of here and treat you... not gently?”

“My intention is simply to buy you another drink, maybe enjoy a dance or two. What happens at the end of the night is not particularly on my mind right now. I’m more focused on learning your name. Why? Is that what you’d fancy?” You counter, looking up at him through your long lashes.

It has the effect you hoped for because he stands up straight, his back finally off the wall. He offers his hand to you, and you take it softly in yours. It’s so much bigger, so much warmer. You try your hardest to kill all the thoughts of where else you’d like him to touch you with his hand.

“Sirius Black,” he introduces himself.

“Like the star?” You question without thinking.

“Yes, like the star. Now what’s your name.”

“Y/n y/l/n,” you say.

“Charmed. So, how about that drink?”

You smile. It’s going to be a good night, you know it.

The next few hours go by in a flash. You and Sirius drink more than you probably should and dance to the many different songs that play on the jut box. A few different times throughout the night you find the eyes of your bandmates, each of them giving you big smiles and thumbs up as they watch you with Sirius. At one point Joan makes a lewd hand gesture, and you barely get a chance to see Lita smack her. It’s past twelve when you find yourself outside the pub with Sirius sitting on a curb sharing a cigarette.

“I hate these bloody shoes,” you mumble as you dig your heel into the pavement. “They make my feet sore.”

“Then why do you wear them?” Sirius asks, amusement evident in his tone.

You exhale a long breath of smoke, passing the half-burnt cigarette back to him. “I dunno. Beauty is pain.”

“For some, but I’m sure even without those things you’re just as pretty. Actually, I would bet pounds on that being true,” he replies.

“I think I’m rather plain without all this. Would you think the same of me without my makeup and outfit?”

You watch him smirk. “I should think you look even prettier without all of that on. Especially the clothes.”

Your stomach fills with butterflies for the thousandth time tonight. Your shyness left hours ago when you took your first shot. So, instead of simply blushing and looking away, you stand and look down at him with your own smirk.

“Quite the charmer. How about you find come back to mine and find out for yourself?”

He takes one last drag of the cigarette before standing, flicking it to the pavement, and crushing it beneath his sneaker. You watch helplessly as he releases a cloud of smoke, his hand now held out to you.

“I’d quite like that. Lead the way.”

~~~

You don’t know how you keep your composure the whole way home, especially with Sirius’s hand handing yours the entire time. On the train, as you sit, your head on his shoulder, he rubs his thumb across your knuckles. It’s a gesture that makes you glad you aren’t standing because your legs feel like jelly. And on the walk up to your apartment, he lets go of your hand and instead places it on the small of your back. You almost fall down the stairs at the contact.

Once you’re inside you immediately take off your boots, leaving them somewhere by the front door. Your jacket follows, only it’s hung on one of your kitchen chairs. When you turn to look at Sirius you find his eyes wandering all over your apartment, examining the details you assume. His sneakers are off, his hands are in his pockets.

“You must have a special job, this place is wonderful,” he says.

“My mates help me with the money, it’s not all mine,” you reply. It’s true, they do help you earn money from performing. You step closer to him, your hands behind your back. “And it’s really not that big. One bedroom, one bathroom, and one very tiny living room combined with the kitchen. But it’s more than enough for me. Would you like the tour?”

“Of course, if the tour starts in your bedroom.”

You can’t help the blush that takes over your face. “Follow me.”

The walk is fast, with every step you feel your heart rate increase. You’ve done this a few times, but for some reason, this time feels different. Perhaps it’s because all the other guys can’t compare to Sirius’s beauty in the slightest. Or perhaps it’s because you already like him a bit more than you should for a one-nighter. You don’t know. And you don’t care to know because you’re about to reach your door.

You open the door fast, letting him in first, and closing it behind you. It’s dark, the only lights coming from outside your small window. You don’t reach for the lights though. Instead, you step closer to the boy, the sound of your breathing suddenly far too loud for your liking. His silhouette moves closer to you as well. It’s almost like there’s an invisible force pushing the two of you together, and you find yourself liking it.

He touches you first. One of his hands finds your waist, he guides you to him faster. Soon enough, you’re practically pressed against him. You can barely breathe from the proximity. You’ve never felt something this intense. You look up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Still want me to not be gentle?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I want you to ruin me,” you say, pressing one of your hands to his chest. You’re happy to find his heart is racing just like yours. “Don’t hold back.”

“Alright.”

Before you can even think of another thought, his lips are on yours. You kiss back instantaneously, your hand moving up into his hair. It’s soft, like you expected. He’s far from gentle with his kissing, and you’re glad. His lips move fast on yours, his teeth scraping your tongue. He bites down on your lip so hard you whimper, and the metallic taste of your blood clouds your senses.

Still, despite the pain, when he pulls back you almost whine from the loss of contact. But his hands move fast to pull your shirt up. You help him get it off, then move to his. Through the darkness, you can see the few tattoos he has on his chest and shoulder. They’re dark, they’re beautiful. You run your fingertips over them as he leans back down and connects your lips once again. You begin to guide the two of you towards your bed.

When the back of your knees hit the mattress, you allow yourself to fall back onto it. Sirius doesn’t follow you though. Instead, he stands between your legs at the foot of the bed and begins to undo the buttons of your jeans. You watch in awe, lifting your hips to help him drag them down your legs, leaving you only in your bra and panties. You sit up, your eyes on him, as you start undoing his belt.

After his jeans are on the floor he pushes you back down on the mattress, climbing over you this time. You kiss him deeply, dragging one of your hands down his warm back, and weaving the other through his hair. That warmth deep inside you has grown, consuming you entirely. You can feel the wetness between your legs, surely staining your panties. You’ve never been so turned on by a guy in your life.

He suddenly parts your kiss, his lips beginning to move down your jaw and neck. You moan, throwing your head back to give him more access. When he bites down on you, so hard you can feel a stinging from it breaking skin, you pull at his hair, sounds of pleasure escaping your swollen lips.

Eventually, after leaving many hickeys and bite marks on your neck, he pulls back entirely and flips you over onto your stomach. You smirk against the mattress as you feel him unclip your bra. To help get it off, you lift yourself on your hands, and the straps quickly fall. You throw it off without even thinking about it. You’re about to turn back but Sirius presses a hand between your shoulder blades, silently telling you to stay as you are. You don’t hesitate to comply.

You feel him move and instinctively you lift your hips in the air. He places a kiss on your back, it almost makes you shiver. Then his hands are on your hips, pulling your last piece of clothing off. You normally would feel some sense of vulnerability at this point. Completely naked with your ass in the air. But the alcohol mixed with the utter need you have for Sirius takes control. You feel him shift.

“Do you have a rubber?” The sound of his voice makes you squeeze your legs together.

“Unless you have a disease, you don’t need one. I’m on birth control,” you answer, looking over your shoulder at him.

“No diseases I swear,” he says.

“Then proceed.”

You get up properly on all fours, the anticipation killing you. When he positions his tip at your entrance, you inhale sharply. He rubs his cock through your wet folds for a few seconds, brushing against your clit ever so slightly, before thrusting inside you in one quick, hard motion. You can’t help the moan that leaves you. He’s big, stretching you in a way that’s on the brink of being painful. It’s perfect.

He fucks you hard, very hard. Each thrust hits that spot inside you that makes your legs shake. At one point, your arms give out and your face presses against the mattress. Your hands twist in the sheets, your moans muffled by the bed. Sirius doesn’t like this. He twists one of his hands in your hair and pulls you up, the pain only adding to the building of your orgasm.

“Sirius,” you gasp. “Fuck Sirius.”

He’s relentless. He fucks you through your first orgasm, not faltering for even a second. He only stops when you can’t hold yourself up anymore, pulling out and flipping you onto your back. You scratch your nails down his back as he begins to fuck you in missionary, your lips on his.

You don’t know how long passes by the time he tells you he’s close. What you do know is that your second orgasm is not far either. With tears in your eyes, you let him switch positions once again, this time you’re on top of him. Your muscles are weak and sore, but that doesn’t stop you from riding him as well as you can. Sweat covers your body, and incoherent words drip off your lips. You can barely take it anymore.

“I-I’m almost there,” you mumble.

“Me too love,” Sirius replies, his breath ragged. “Finish us both off.”

You struggle to hold yourself up, a tear rolling down your cheek. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can, just a few more minutes,” he assures you, running one of his hands through your hair.

Much to his word, in a few minutes, he finishes. Hard. He moans your name in an indescribable tone, and his cock pulses inside you so intently, it causes your second orgasm to occur. As this happens, you lie on his chest, both of your breathing very uneven. He holds you tight against him.

Eventually, you roll off him and stare at your ceiling. You try to comprehend what just happened. Never in your life have you experienced something so intense. Most of the time when you told guys to be rough with you, they’d be turned off. But Sirius... You turn to your side to face him.

“Want a smoke?”

“Certainly.”

~~~

It’s safe to say, you don’t let him go all summer. You spend every second you can with him. Most of the time in your sheets, but a good amount doing other things. You paint his nails black, teach him how to wear eyeliner, and how to dress more like yourself. You enjoy every second you get with him.

He never does discover your fame, at least he never says so. You think he would know. Each time you go out you try your hardest to be unnoticeable and you always hide away magazines and switch the channel whenever something about your band is shown. But he never does say anything. Sometimes at night, you sing to him softly and you always laugh when he tells you that you should take it professionally.

You learn how much he hates his family, except for his little brother. You learn he loves Queen and David Bowie. You learn his favorite color is ironically black. You learn as much about him as you can and with each fact you do learn, you only fall more for him. But you never speak of it. You know the inevitable ending.

On the night before he goes back to school, the two of you lay in your bed, a thick silence between you. As usual, you pass a cigarette back and forth. Only this time, there are no words accompanying. Until he speaks.

“For once, I’m not looking forward to going back.”

You turn to your stomach and look at him. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“Me either,” he agrees. He holds the cigarette to you; you take it fast. “I can phone you if you want. You know, while I’m there. Or send letters.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” You question.

“I think I really fancy you, and I don’t want to leave on a bad note.”

You give him a weak smile and press a kiss on his bare shoulder. “Oh, Sirius.”

~~~

A few months later...

“Five minutes till show time,” an assistant tells you.

You’re sitting in your dressing room backstage. Joan, Sandy, and Lita all have their own space now. You find it funny how much The Runaways have blown up since the summer. Now, everywhere you turn you see yourself in a magazine or a news article. You can’t go anywhere without being recognized, or without the paparazzi showing up.

As you look in the mirror your mind travels back to Sirius. This happens a lot. Right before a concert, you think of him. Sometimes you wonder if maybe he’s out there listening. You haven’t heard from him since he went to school. You aren’t angry, only a bit sad. You’re mostly grateful though. He inspired most of the songs in your number-one album that got the band all the new attention.

You stand from the vanity and sigh. Tonight, your performance is being televised worldwide. Beside the door is your guitar, you pick it up as you begin your journey out to the stage. You’ve got a good lineup, even a small intermission for a happy birthday song. You hope wherever he is he hears it.

After all, it is November 3rd.

[corroded-hellfire]

Prompt Day 25: Gareth

Word Count: 995

Rating: T

Pairing: Slight Gareth x OC

CW: None

Summary: Gareth’s little sister is a pain in the ass when it comes to the band, but ends up being a pretty good wingman.

Have to tag @the-unforgivenn because this is her man 💕

@corrodedcoffinfest

When the band first started practicing in his garage, Gareth loved it. Now, he thinks he’d rather rehearse in goddamn Jason Carver’s bedroom. 

Initially, he’d worried that his mom would be the one to interrupt them, with her tendency to ask if anyone is hungry. Gareth would kill for his mom to be the problem now. At least he would be able to talk some sense into her. 

“Why can’t I just sit on the couch and watch?!”

“Because you never stay quiet! You always bother us.”

“I do not! They don’t think I bother you! Right, guys?”

Both Emerson siblings turn to look at Eddie, Jeff, and Frank. The three Corroded Coffin members are caught between a rock and a hard place. 

Gareth is fuming; his nostrils flaring, and his fists clenched around his drumsticks. Fourteen-year-old Olivia stares with wide green eyes, hands on her hips as she waits for a response from her big brother’s friends. 

“Uh…” Eddie starts, eyes moving from left to right to see if the band member on either side of him is going to speak up. But no dice. “We, um, we… Jeff?”

Out of the three of them, Jeff has the thinnest tightrope to walk, and Eddie knows it. But he also knows that Olivia is apt to do whatever Jeff says since he’s the reason she wants to sit in on practice anyway. Doesn’t stop Jeff from wanting to wring his neck, though. 

“Well,” Jeff starts, clearing his throat before he continues, “do you think you can stay quiet this time, Olivia?”

Irritation flashes in Gareth’s eyes, while Olivia gives her best smile and bats her eyelashes. 

“Yes!” 

She bounces over to the raggedy couch in the corner while Gareth rolls his eyes and heads towards his drum set. 

Olivia does manage to stay quiet until the end of rehearsals but that somehow annoys Gareth even more. She’ll hold that over his head as a reason to sit in practices more often. 

But as much as that bothers Gareth, it’s nothing compared to what his little sister announces once they’re done. 

“Mom said I can go with you guys to your show next week.”

“What?”

“Well, I can’t go when you guys play at the bar,” Olivia drawls, as if her brother is stupid. 

“But this…this isn’t even our show. It’s Roane County’s Battle of the Bands,” Gareth says. 

“Whatever. Mom still said I can go.”

Gareth runs his hands over his face in frustration and turns to his friends. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to my mom,” he tells them. 

“Mom, we’re playing one song. We’ll be backstage for the rest of it and that’ll be hours.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, Gareth,” his mom says as she adds another later of cheese to the lasagna she’s preparing. “She’s fourteen, she can sit in the audience by herself. It’s at a community center. She’ll hardly be able to find any trouble.”

“She only wants to go because of her crush on Jeff!”

His mom smiles at this, finding the infatuation Olivia has with one of Gareth’s best friends adorable.

“It’ll be fine,” is all she says. 

Gareth has a hard time psyching himself up for the show. He should be focused on playing his best so they can win this thing and gain any exposure that comes from it. Instead, he keeps peeking out at the audience to make sure Olivia is still in her seat in the fourth row. She may be a giant pain in the ass but that doesn’t mean he wants some creep to abduct her. 

“She’ll be fine,” Jeff assures him. 

The drummer sighs and nods his head. “You’re right. Anyone who would try and kidnap her would return her after fifteen minutes anyway.”

With his bandmates’ help, Gareth is able to get his head back into the music and is able to go out on stage without being preoccupied. He still sneaks a glance at his sister as he walks on stage, though. 

Corroded Coffin comes in second place, which is higher than any of them expected. As they emerge from backstage after the show, Gareth also sees that his sister is just fine—in fact, it looks like she made a friend. 

Frank is called over by the bassist of an all-girl band and Eddie spies a redhead smiling at him, who he wanders off to flirt with. That leaves Gareth and Jeff to approach Olivia and the girl she’s standing with. The girl is older than Olivia, at least Gareth and Jeff’s age, or maybe even graduated from high school. 

“Gare Bear!” Olivia says before throwing her arms around her brother.

He hugs her back, but his cheeks redden at the nickname in front of this beautiful girl.

“I’m so proud!” Olivia crows.

The mystery girl smiles at Gareth and Jeff can practically see the hearts growing in his friend’s eyes. He knows what he has to do.

“Hey, Liv, do you want to come with me and get some ice cream from the truck outside?” Jeff asks.

Speaking of heart eyes, Olivia lights up, making her brother’s excitement seem dull in comparison. 

“Yes!”

Gareth gives his friend a grateful look as Olivia takes him by the hand and leads him towards the door. 

“I’m Annie,” the girl in front of Gareth says, offering her hand, which he shakes.

“Gareth. I hope my sister wasn’t bothering you during the show.”

“No, she’s so sweet,” Annie says with a lilting laugh that has Gareth’s heart pounding against his ribcage. “She sat next to me, and we talked in between bands. She was so excited to see you play.”

This bombshell was sitting next to Olivia the whole time and Gareth hadn’t even noticed? Holy shit, he must care about his little sister more than he thought. In fact, he knows he does by the way his heart warms at Annie’s words. 

“Yeah, she’s a good kid.”

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi, if you're okay with it I'd like to request Jungkook somehow finding out about the part he played in the pudding incident (maybe overhearing them talking about it again or her mentioning it to Yoongis hybrid so she's more careful around him)...so he can finally punch him 🙃 sorry, but I just think he needs to get set straight to realize he can't keep doing stuff like that and just get away with it.

I really enjoy your writing btw, thank you for sharing your works!<3

The tension is high in the apartment, Jungkook breathing heavily as he's held back by Yoongi, who's clearly struggling to keep the youngest of the group in his hold. While yes, Jungkook is and will stay the maknae, he's grown up at this point, physically superior to a lot of the members at this point- Yoongi included. He's already landed a hit on his bandleader's face; its clear that the only reason he doesn't continue being you and Yoongi's hybrid a little further away, hugging each other for comfort at the sight of everyone being so on edge.

"I deserve that." Namjon nods, holding his jaw. He's lucky his bandmate couldn't really land a full on hit on his face, as Yoongi had been quick enough to react in time.

"Of course you fucking do!" Jungkook yells out. "You almost killed her! And as for his-" Jungkook looks at Yoongi next to him before his heated gaze returns to his leader. "-You almost got her taken by authorities! What if she had run on the streets, got hit by a car, huh?! Would that have made you happy?!" He barks.

"Absolutely not. I.. didn't know she'd react like that." Namjoon offers defeatedly. "The same with yours. I wasn't.. aware that there was such a high amount in there, if I did I wouldn't have done it." He tries to explain himself, looking over at the two hybrids a little further away. "I'm sorry. I hope you know that." He offers.

"You don't even have the right to look at her-" Jungkook starts again, but Yoongi chimes in now.

"Alright, let's calm down here." He says calmly. "What I'm failing to understand here, is just why?" Yoongi wonders, looking at his bandleader, who turns to the side again, watching both hybrids become more calm now. "You're not a bad person, Namjoon. Why do this then?" He asks, letting go of Jungkook now so he can go and comfort his own hybrid.

"In this industry.. it's best if you, you know, surround yourself with people who won't be taken away from you. Who won't leave you, you know." He simply explains, as both hybrids slowly begin to explore his home after he nods in approval once they look at him as if to ask. "It'll just.. I just wanted you to realize that you're playing with fire. Like water in your hands- it will drip out between your fingers at some point, no matter how hard you try." He says, walking to sit down on his couch.

It doesn't take long for both Idols to follow him, their hybrids close behind, sitting close to them. Everyone doesn't understand, still. It feels like there's more to it than the bandleader lets on. It's only when Yoongi's hybrid finds a worn-down tiger plushy on the edge of the couch, that Yoongi seems to understand-

simply from the hurt that flashes in his friend's eyes as he gently takes it away from her, to place it somewhere out of reach for both hybrids.

"You've had one yourself." Yoongi says, and Namjoon sighs. "What happened?"

"Management happened." His leader defeatedly explains. "I trusted them like.. Jungkook did. Told them about her. Explained how I'm taking care of her, how I'm planning to solve issues like tours, and so on." He shrugs. "But back then, they weren't so lenient. It backfired, simple as that." He says.

"Backfired how?" Jungkook asks now, realizing why his friend might've been so hostile especially towards him. He's got something he never had been granted- the freedom to bring his partner to work with him, to have them protected just as well as they are themselves.

"Told me they'd help with the tour stuff. That she'd be given into a carecenter for the duration, and the company would cover the costs even." He recalls the events. "It sounded great. Not perfect, obviously- but it was a solution I could work with. So I explained to her the night before we had to leave for tour, that she'd stay at the center just for a few weeks until the tour would be over."

"But they never gave her back." Yoongi finishes, and Namjoon nods, clenching his jaw.

"I came back home, and she wasn't there. I talked to management about when I'd be able to pick her up- and they just told me 'never.', that she's staying there, forever." He explains further, both hybrids clearly distressed at the story he's telling. "And when I tried myself to get her back somehow, I couldn't find her. Nothing. Not under her name, nor her ID. She's gone, because I trusted management to handle it." He says. "I don't want you to go through that. I don't.. I wanted to protect you. All of you." He says, now looking at the hybrids as well.

"You could've simply talked to us." Jungkook mumbles, pulling his hybrid onto his lap. "We could've just spoken about this like now."

"Would you have believed me?" Namjoon questions. "You would've simply thought 'oh, that will never happen to me!', and then move on." He chuckles dryly, Yoongi sighing.

"Oh man, this is one big mess." He shakes his head. "Now what do we do?" He asks, and Jungkook puts out his hand.

"I accept your apology." He offers, and Namjoon nods, shaking his friend's hand. "It's.. not okay, but I can understand it, in a way." He says.

"Same here, by the way." Yoongi nods.

"I'll try and help you protect them." Namjoon says, sternly so. "I don't want you to go through this, and I understood that I went at it from the wrong direction. I'm really sorry." He says, and everyone nods at that, Yoongis hybrid even doing so much as to reach out and hug him- Jungkook's soon to follow.

It does bring the bandleader to tears a little bit- but it also shows how truthful he meant his words.

And on the sidelines, both Jungkook and Yoongi already think of how to maybe help him.

[lemoncrushh]

Wild Horses - Eight

Summary: Amber Crosby didn’t end up with the life she’d expected, but that didn’t keep her from following her dream. A young, up and coming country recording artist, she and her band set out to do just that. Trying to leave her past behind, it wasn’t until meeting Harry Styles that she realized just how her life could take a turn and alter her future forever.

A/N: Please note all portions in italics are meant to be flashbacks :).

Warnings: Another angsty chapter, mentions of physical violence and drinking.

STORY PAGE

Chapter Eight Word Count: 4.7k+

“I will hold you up, I will help you stand, I will comfort you when you need a friend…” - Amanda Marshall; Believe In You

“Here,” Jeff said as he handed Amber the plastic cup of more ice than soda.

“Thanks,” she muttered, taking it from him.

Sneaking a sniff of the Coke, she was only partly disappointed to find that it wasn’t mixed with rum or whiskey. But as she took a large gulp, letting the carbonated beverage fill her throat, she was grateful.

Her manager took the seat next to her, on the side of the stage where Harry introduced the next song. It had taken every ounce of energy she’d had left to follow Jeffrey into the audience to watch Harry’s show. What she’d really wanted was to rush back to her hotel room and drink everything that called her name from the minibar. But after Jeff and Harry had sat her down in Harry’s dressing room, making sure she was at least physically okay, her manager had insisted she stay with him for the duration of the concert.

She hadn’t seen Carter since he’d stormed out after ridiculing her in front of everyone. Her guess was that he’d raved his own minibar, or even went to the hotel bar...not that she cared. He could take a long walk off a short pier as far as she was concerned.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Even after what he’d just said and done, she knew she had always had a soft spot for Carter, and probably always would. They’d been through a lot together, for fuck’s sake. He was the only one who knew everything about her. And he was a damn good drummer; she’d hate to lose him, as both a bandmate and a friend. But now…

“We’re not who we used to be…” she heard Harry sing.

God, if that didn’t hit home. Who they used to be… Who they used to be were two horny teenagers with a love for music and the bottle. Who they used to be were a lost girl with a need to be needed and a young man with a shoulder to cry on and an awaiting bed.

But Amber had grown. She knew she had. She’d known long before their signing with Full Stop Management, before the festival in Nashville where she’d first met Harry, even before her single had hit the airwaves. She’d known for a while that the knots that tied her to Carter needed to be loosened. She just hadn’t wanted to admit it because...well, if she was honest with herself, because she was scared.

“Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat…”

Amber sighed. And then there was Harry. He’d already made her feel things - things she hadn’t thought she’d ever feel. He was a loyal friend and a kind soul, yes, but there was more. He made her feel...like she had a heartbeat again.

Finishing her Coke, Amber settled into her seat to watch the rest of the show. The crowd cheered when Harry’s band started into one of his big hits. With a smile, Amber clapped her hands and sang along. She noticed Jeffrey watching her, a grin on his face as he patted her arm.

Sometime towards the end of the concert, Amber looked up to see a tall figure coming down the aisle. Taking the empty seat next to her, Brendan leaned over to whisper.

“I just talked to Carter,” he said. “He wants to talk to you.”

Amber grimaced. “Too bad. I don’t wanna talk to him.”

“He wants to apologize.”

Leaning forward, Amber glared at him incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? For what exactly? Because as far as I see, I have a long list of apologies I’m long overdue. And he’s a little late. Tell him he can fuck off.”

“Amber-” Brendan began before Jeff cut him off.

“Hey, pssst,” he interrupted as he leaned over to address them both. “I don’t think this is the time nor the place to discuss this.”

“You’re right,” Amber nodded.

Brendan was silent until the song ended, then whispered in Amber’s ear again.

“Just so you know,” he said, “I’m on your side. He shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I don’t know what his deal was, but that’s not cool.”

Shutting her eyes slowly, Amber inhaled. “Thanks Bren. But just so you know...that wasn’t the first time.”

Lifting her arm, Amber stretched it out flat across the arm rest, revealing the purple bruise. Even in the darkness of the arena, it was visible.

“Shit, Amber. I’m sorry. I had...no idea,” Brendan confessed, shaking his head.

With a mere nod, Amber lowered her arm, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Turning her focus back to the stage, she watched as Harry performed his final song, an emotional number that brought the tears again. She didn’t mind, however. This time it was therapeutic, and she knew there would be more tears to come as she had a very difficult decision to make.

“This is probably my favorite song,” Carter mused, his fingertips lightly grazing across Amber’s shoulder as she laid on top of him.

“Really?” Amber mumbled against his chest, letting the classic George Strait song tickle her ears. “Hmm. Yeah, it’s a good one.”

“What’s your favorite song?”

“Don’t think I have one.”

“What? A singer always has a favorite song,” Carter argued. “You kinda have to, right?”

“Mmm, no, I disagree. I think it’s because I’m a singer that I don’t have a favorite. I love them all...like they’re a part of me. Or my children,” Amber giggled.

His hand roaming down her back, Carter was silent for a moment until a sound rose from his chest. “Hmm, I get that. Never really thought about it before, but it makes sense.”

“I’m glad you get me, Carter,” Amber remarked with a sigh. “Nobody else does.”

Slithering her naked body off of his, she reached for the glass on the nightstand that they’d been sharing and took a swig of the golden liquor.

“Hey. I doubt that’s true,” said Carter. “But I’m glad it makes you glad.”

With a slight smirk, Amber sat back on her knees and handed the glass to Carter. He took it eagerly as his free hand slipped up her stomach and cupped her breast.

“Can I ask you something?” he inquired, setting the glass back down.

“Depends…” Amber shrugged, her long hair falling down and around her shoulders.

“How many guys have you been with?”

“Ummm…” she paused, unsure if she wanted to answer.

Raising his brows, Carter took in her expression. “A lot?”

“How many is a lot?”

Carter chuckled nervously. “I don’t know. More than twenty?”

“God, no!” Amber swatted a hand at his chest.

“Alright, so ballpark.”

With another shrug, Amber grabbed at the sheets, twisting them in her hands. “I don’t think I wanna say.”

“More than ten?”

Amber shook her head. “No.”

She heard him sigh as he threw his arm behind his head. “Okay.”

The silence floated between them as the song changed to a modern country hit.

“How old were you…” Carter asked finally, “your first time?”

Stalling her answer, Amber lingered for a while before she laid down beside him. She smiled when he reached for her, his fingers finding their familiar spot on her lower back.

“Fifteen,” she replied softly.

“Hmm. Me too. Too bad I didn’t know you.”

“Oh?” Amber grinned. “Are you sorry I wasn’t your first?”

“Nuh uh,” Carter shook his head. “Sorry I wasn’t yours.”

Amber could hear the muffled voices as she drifted in and out of sleep. When Harry’s concert had ended, she’d been prepared to return to her room. But after hearing that Carter was wanting to see her, Jeff insisted it was best she stayed with him until he knew what to do about her drummer. Sitting on the sofa in Harry’s dressing room, she’d found herself starting to get sleepy - if not a little bored - so she’d crawled up on it, grabbing one of Harry’s pillows as she inhaled the intoxicating scent of his burning candle.

“I don’t want him anywhere near her,” she heard Harry remark. Though his tone was not a malicious one, his words revealed his level of anger.

“I think that should be her decision to make,” argued Jeff.

“Wha’ are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me, mate?” Harry exclaimed, his accent thickening as his irate words spewed from his lips. “If he lays one more finger on her-”

“I know, H, I agree with you there. But we don’t actually know for sure that he’s touched her.”

“She’s got a fuckin’ bruise on her arm, Jeffrey! I saw it! I know it was him. She wouldn’t tell me the truth; she gave me some bloody excuse about running into the wall. But I know it was him!”

“You can’t prove that, Harry. And even if it’s true, it’s her word against h-”

“Don’t fucking say it, mate!” she heard Harry growl. “Don’t you dare fucking say that!”

At those words, Amber stretched and sat up. “Could you guys stop talking about me like I’m not here?”

Both men glared at her then, their expressions of surprise mixed with concern.

“Sorry, Amber,” Harry sighed, his shoulders falling.

“Yeah...sorry,” Jeff muttered. “We thought you were asleep.”

“Well who could sleep with all this racket?”

With a sheepish grin, Harry crossed the room to sit beside her. “How are you feeling?” he asked tenderly, if not apprehensively.

“Exhausted. Worried. A little hungry if I’m being honest.”

“Oh,” Harry sounded, looking up at their manager. “Get her something to eat, Jeffrey.”

Amber watched the two men exchange looks, followed by an unspoken conversation with their eyes, eyebrows and hands that made her giggle.

“Seriously guys, I can find my own food,” she announced, rising from the couch.

“No!” Harry and Jeff yelled in unison. Then her manager spoke alone. “I can...get you something. Anything particular you’re hungry for?”

Amber shrugged. “Honestly, a sandwich is fine.”

“No, you had that earlier,” Harry argued. “You need real food.”

Amber rolled her eyes as Jeffrey declared he’d find something. As soon as he left the dressing room, Amber heard another sigh from Harry. Looking over at him, she took in his stare.

“Okay, you can stop looking at me like I’m a china doll,” she said.

“Sorry. I’m just...worried about you.”

Amber gazed down at her hands, twisting the silver ring on her right pointer.

“I’m worried too,” she admitted. “I think we both know what I have to do.”

Harry nodded. “You know, Jeffrey can find a replacement. I don’t reckon it would be too hard to find another drummer...at least for the rest of the tour.”

“Yeah. That’s not the part I’m worried about.”

As her body began to shake with held back sobs, Harry scooted closer to her on the sofa, his hand running up her back until it reached her shoulder.

“Hey,” he whispered softly as Amber let out a tiny cry. “C’mere.”

Amber allowed his arms to pull her against him, his warm embrace comforting her once again as she whimpered.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he promised. “Maybe not right away, but it will be. Everything’s gonna work out.”

“What if it doesn’t, Harry?” she cried. “What if...I have to leave?”

“Leave? What do you mean?”

Amber lifted her head to look at him, his calm and questioning eyes causing another tear to fall from hers. He immediately swiped it away with the pad of his thumb, his touch so gentle yet so fleeting, she felt empty inside as soon as it was over.

“Why would you have to leave?” Harry asked again.

“Because…” she gulped. “I’ve caused so much trouble already. Carter’s probably never gonna talk to me again, and Brendan and Johnny are gonna be mad at me-”

“Hey!” Harry interrupted, his brows furrowed. “Amber. None of this is your fault. Don’t ever think that.”

Shaking her head, Amber hiccupped. “It is though. If I hadn’t come on this tour… Jeff’s already having to deal with my shit, and we only just started. I knew how Carter was and his feelings towards me, and I guess I couldn’t stop it-”

“Amber,” Harry interjected again as his hand traveled up her bruised arm. “What has he done to you?”

His eyes pleaded for her honesty, and with a sigh, Amber knew she had to tell the truth.

“You were right,” she admitted. “I lied about running into the wall.”

Sitting back, his chest falling, Harry took her hand. “What happened?”

Sniffling, she recalled the evening, just over twenty-four hours ago, although now it felt like eons.

“He was angry,” she muttered. “We’d just eaten burgers in my room and...he was angry that I was leaving to meet with you.”

Harry’s eyes were locked on her face, his jaw set, and she knew he was waiting for her to continue.

“He grabbed me and twisted my arm. Then he held me down on the bed.”

Amber watched Harry’s stone expression as he exhaled through his nose. “Has he...done that before?”

“No. Well...yeah. He’s pushed me against the wall a couple times. Gotten in my face and called me names. He gets kind of out of control like that when he’s pissed off and drunk. But he’s never hit me.”

His shoulders falling with a sigh, Harry looked like he might cry. “Amber…”

“I know, I’m defending him,” she shrugged, wiping another tear. “It’s just...we’ve been through so much, I know he still cares about me…”

“No!” Harry shouted, making her jump. “No, Amber, he doesn’t! How can you say that?”

“Harry, I probably wouldn’t even have this band if it wasn’t for him!”

Amber took in the incredulous look on Harry’s face just as the door flew open, and Jeff returned.

“Food’s on its way,” he explained. His gaze followed the two faces on the couch, his eyebrows lifting in question. “What’s going on?”

Running a ringed hand through his hair, Harry leaned back. “She told me how she got that bruise.”

“And?”

“I was right.”

Jeffrey looked at Amber, then Harry and back. “You know you can press charges.”

Amber shook her head slowly. “No.”

“Of course not,” Harry rolled his eyes as he dropped his hand on the couch next to him, exasperated.

“Something I should know?” Jeff inquired.

“I think I’ve caused enough trouble here,” muttered Amber as she rose from the couch. “Thanks for the food, Jeff, but I think I’ll just get something sent to my room.”

“Amber,” called Harry as she reached the door.

“What’s going on here?” Jeff asked again.

Tears began to stream down her face rapidly as Amber turned around to face them both.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it is my fault. You’ve both been so kind to me, but I don’t deserve it. I have way too much baggage for either of you to handle. It was stupid of me to think I could do this. I should go home now.”

“No!” both men exclaimed in unison.

Rising from the sofa, Harry crossed the room. “Amber. I’m sorry I got angry. I just...I don’t understand how you can continue to cling to-”

Ending his thought, he could tell he was letting his emotions affect his words. Reaching his hand for hers, he looked into her eyes. “Please don’t go, love. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this. Jeffrey will get you a new drummer. And I’ll be here to help...in any way I can. Because I’m your friend...and because...I care about you.”

Amber stared at his hand that he’d pressed to his chest to seal his promise. Wiping another tear away, she shrugged.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you do, seeing as I keep screwing things up-”

“Shhh,” he sounded as he pulled her into another hug. “Stop with that.”

Amber let him hold her for a few moments, her crying subsiding as she laid her head on his shoulder. Soon, a knock sounded on the door and the two of them stepped back while Jeff answered it. Bringing in two large bags, he placed them on the table and began unloading their contents. Wiping her eyes, Amber felt her stomach rumble.

“Wow that smells amazing,” she commented, walking to the couch.

Displayed before her was an enormous bowl of some kind of chicken pasta, a caesar salad and breadsticks.

“Eat up,” said Jeff with a grin.

“Hey, where’s mine?” Harry quipped.

Giving him an eye roll and a smirk, Jeff pulled out a large container filled with greens and handed it to him.

“I knew you wouldn’t forget me,” Harry chortled as he sat beside Amber.

“So, Amber,” offered Jeffrey as he took a nearby chair, “I know you probably don’t want to make any decisions right now, but under the circumstances, I don’t think it’s safe for you to be anywhere near Carter.”

“I know,” she agreed meekly.

“You’re supposed to be on the road soon to our next destination,” he continued. “I know you said you don’t want to press any charges, but with the time crunch, we do need to decide if we’re getting a replacement.”

Amber stole a glance at Harry before looking back at her manager. “Yes. I think we should.” She felt a hand press softly on her back as she let out a deep breath.

“Good. Then I will now leave you to your dinner, while I go have a little chat and make some phone calls,” Jeff announced. “Call or text me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Jeff,” said Amber, the warm breadstick melting in her mouth as Harry’s hand gingerly rubbed up and down her back.

“I’m so proud of you,” she heard him say when the door shut.

Pausing the fork in her hand, she looked up at him. “Thanks.”

Leaning forward, Harry placed a short, soft kiss on the top of her head. The tender touch seemed to flip her entire insides all the way to her toes like the feeling of the descending drop on a roller coaster. Biting her lip, she eyed Harry’s big ass salad and giggled.

“What?” he asked, a cute expression of inquiry on his face.

“You eat like a rabbit.”

Harry chuckled then, the sound ringing through the room. Amber felt her stomach twinge again, like the feeling of a thousand butterflies dancing.

“I’d offer you some of this,” she said, “but you probably don’t eat carbs.”

With a smirk, Harry reached over and swiped a cream-covered noodle, popping it into his mouth.

“Ooh, one noodle,” Amber joked, her eyes wide. “Call the pasta police now!”

Shaking his head, a shit-eating grin on his face, Harry reached for his water bottle.

“Oh. Cheers,” said Amber, opening her own bottle.

Harry raised a brow. “A toast?”

“Why not. But you go.”

“Alright,” Harry cleared his throat and raised his water. “To Amber Crosby. The bravest girl I know.”

Her smile faltering, Amber reluctantly tapped her bottle against Harry’s.

“I don’t know about that,” she remarked.

“I do,” declared Harry. “You keep saying you’ve been through a lot. This is just one more thing, love. You can get through this, too. I know you can. I believe in you.”

Blinking to keep the tears at bay, Amber gave a small smile. “Thank you, Harry. I just wish I could believe in me, too.”

The hotel was peaceful and still when they made their way back at the wee hours of the morning. Jeffrey had called Harry, asking to be put on speaker phone as he explained his settlement. Carter was no longer part of the tour, nor part of the band. Apparently there had been some kind of row, Carter getting angry and overturning a chair and punching a wall when Jeff had given him the news, to which Harry had not been surprised. Security arrived, and Carter had then broken down in tears, begging to speak to Amber. When Jeff had told him he didn’t think that was a good idea, he’d thrown his belongings in his suitcase and announced he was leaving on the next flight.

Jeffrey had security escort them to the hotel and see them to the elevator. Stepping off the lift, Harry looked both ways before heading for Amber’s door, the silence almost overwhelming. Jumping at the sound of another door opening, he exhaled when he saw it was only Clare.

“Hi,” she greeted quietly. “I heard what happened. Is everything okay?”

“It will be,” Harry sighed, stealing a peek at Amber who nodded.

Without a word, Clare gave Amber a sympathetic look before opening her arms. Amber walked right into them, allowing the friendly embrace.

“I’m so sorry,” Clare murmured. “I should have known.”

“How could you have known?” asked Harry.

“Women’s intuition. She gave hints, so I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t pick up on it exactly.”

“It’s okay, Clare,” said Amber. “I didn’t really want anyone to know.”

Looking at her tear-stained face, Clare cupped her cheek. “I understand.”

With one last hug, Clare said goodnight and returned to her room. Harry stood and examined the empty hallway while he waited for Amber to retrieve her key. Jeffrey had asked that he keep an eye on her until she went to bed, and he was determined to do just that. In fact, he would have done it regardless of Jeff’s order.

Pushing her door open, Amber turned to Harry with a bashful grin. “I’d invite you in for a nightcap, but I guess that’s pretty much out of the question now.”

“Yeah,” he blinked, “but I would like to make sure you’re okay. If...that’s okay with you.”

“Of course.”

Stepping into the room, Harry made sure the door was locked behind him before turning around. Amber stood next to the dresser, removing her earrings and bracelets. Despite everything that had happened in the last few hours, she still looked remarkable, her cheeks glowing a peachy-pink that matched the cute little dress she wore, her long hair in curls that cascaded down her back. Harry thought about how resilient she was. He still didn’t know her entire backstory, but he hoped that little by little he could chip away at the stone, and she’d let him in completely.

“I could really use a shower,” she announced as she sat on the bed to remove her boots. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ll just be a few minutes,” she promised, shutting the bathroom door.

Harry sat on the bed as he heard the shower begin and scrolled through his phone. He was halfway deciding to tweet a thank you to his fans for coming to the show when a knock sounded on the door. Perplexed, since most everyone was asleep by now, he wondered if it was Jeffrey. Crossing the room, he shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Who is it?” he called firmly, but not too loud.

When no one replied, he heard another knock, this one more emphatic than the one before.

“Harry?” Amber called from the bathroom.

“I’m here!” he assured her.

“Okay. I thought I heard someone knocking.”

Deciding not to inquire who it was again, Harry unlocked the door and opened it just a crack as he remained behind it.

“Amber!” the voice growled. Shit.

Stepping around the door, Harry let himself be known as Carter stared him down.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked Harry.

“I should be asking you that.”

“I need to talk to Amber,” confessed Carter.

“I don’t think you do.”

Just then, the sound of the bathroom door opening startled them both as Amber emerged, a towel wrapped around her body.

“Amber!” Carter bellowed, using his shoulder to try to push the door open.

“What’s he doing here?” she gasped with wide eyes. “Leave me alone!”

“Amber, you have to hear me out, please!”

“I don’t have to do anything!” she yelled. Then she looked at Harry with pleading eyes.

“Time for you to go, mate, she doesn’t want to see you,” Harry explained, nudging the door.

“Don’t tell me what to do you, you son of a bitch! And stop calling me mate! This is all your fault! I got kicked out of the band because of you!”

“I reckon that was all your doing, Carter. Now, please leave.”

Ignoring his plea, Carter tried his best to push the door open as he continued to call out to Amber. Suddenly losing his footing, Harry stumbled back as Carter succeeded, barging into the room. Amber screamed as she backed into the table, clutching her towel.

“Amber, please!” cried Carter. “I won’t hurt you! I just need to talk to you!”

“Like hell you do!” called another voice.

Carter turned to see the stern faces of his now ex-manager and ex-bandmates.

“I believe you were leaving,” said Jeffrey, folding his arms across his chest.

“The fuck is this?” shouted Carter.

“Everything okay here, Mr. Azoff?” asked another voice just as the security guard made his way through the crowd.

“Yes. Please see that this young man gets escorted downstairs. There’s a car waiting to take him to the airport,” replied Jeff.

The security guard gave a quick ‘yes sir’ and reached for Carter, who resisted. With a look of disdain, he glared at Amber, then Harry before reluctantly following the guard out of the room. Momentarily shaken up, Harry noticed Amber in the corner, still clutching her towel as she sobbed. Crossing the room, he took her into his arms where she once again cried against his chest.

“Amber, we’re so sorry!” called Johnny from the hallway.

“Yeah, Amber,” Brendan echoed.

“That’s enough guys, we’ll all discuss it tomorrow,” conveyed Jeff as he reached for the handle and let the door shut, leaving Harry and Amber alone.

“Harry…” Amber whimpered, her body trembling.

“Shhh, it’s alright,” Harry cooed as he held her tight. “He’s gone now.”

After several deep breaths, Amber made a sound, making Harry lift his head.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m...not dressed,” she blushed. “How embarrassing.”

With a slight twitch of his lips, Harry stepped back, releasing her. “Would you like me to turn away?”

“No, um...I’ll just grab something and go to the bathroom.”

Still wanting to show some courtesy, Harry turned his back as she reached in her bag and made a beeline for the toilet. When she returned, her oversized t-shirt barely grazing the bottoms of her little shorts, he tried his best not to stare as he sat on the bed.

“Thanks…” she said shyly as she stood before him, running a brush through her damp hair, “...for staying. And everything.”

Harry merely nodded, unsure what else to say that he hadn’t already said.

“I’m so ashamed.”

“I promise, I didn’t even take a peek, love,” Harry claimed, holding up his hands.

“No,” Amber blushed again, dropping her brush on the table and taking a seat next to him, “not about that.”

“What for?”

“Because…” she sniffled, “I thought he had to hit me for it to...you know.”

His face falling, Harry nodded slowly. “I know.”

“I just…” Amber bit her lip. “I thought no one would believe me. That it was my fault because I’d told him I didn’t wanna be with him like that anymore. I thought I owed it to him to continue being in a band with him even though we weren’t together. That I’d led him on with the flirting and the drinking and…”

“Shhh, baby,” Harry lifted his finger to silence her, pressing it to her lips. “It’s alright now.”

He stared at her pretty tear-stained face, her blue eyes full of innocence and longing. He was unsure why he’d let the term of endearment fall from his lips, but he didn’t regret it. Sliding his finger away from her mouth, he brushed away another stray tear from her cheek as she continued to stare at him.

“I’m scared, Harry,” she admitted quietly. “Please help me. I don’t know how to do this alone.”

tagging: @freedomfireflies, @daphnesutton

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[nogenderbee]

REQUESTS ARE OPEN HIP HIP HOORAY

can i request I, E, M, S (fluff alphabet) for saki? thank you!!

take all the time you need and have a great day!!!

Yay! And I'm happy Saki is getting some love! It was pretty fun to write so I hope you enjoy this as well! <3

Saki E, I, M, S fluff alphabet

TagList: @bleachtheidiot @vodka-glrl

⊱ Endearment ═ How much and how often do they need their lover affection? And what do they do when they really need their lover affection?

Saki loves both giving and receiving affection but somehow, she likes to give it just a tiny bit more~ She'll always find a way to wrap her arm and yours, to hold your hand or any other small yet cute gesture.

As for frequency... she spoils you on every dingle ocassion, literally. There's almost no time you two are close to each other but have no physical contact. You're always holding hands, cuddle, hug or even kiss!

When she really wants to receive some affection tho, she'll either go for it herself or ask you for it with a smile! If you still decline, she'd probably whine jokingly... it's not serious and she lets it show but it gets on your soft side either way...

"Y/N you're so mean... can't we have at least a little hug? One tiny hug and nothing more? Please?"

⊱ I love you ═ How long did it took them to say those 3 words for the first time? And how often do they like to say it?

Surprisingly Saki took some time with saying it... but it wasn't because she was scared or anything. She simply wanted to make those first 3 words special and memorable! In the end tho she said it either way after you gave her something she always wanted, and it just slipped...

After first time is done tho, it turns out that she says it every day. Sometimes it's like a greeting, sometimes like a morning or goodnight message, and sometimes she just feels like it! Reason really doesn't matter, if she feels like reminding you that important fact, she will.

"Awh~ that's so cute! I love you~ Hold on... I was supposed to tell you that ok tomorrow's date! Ugh!"

⊱ Mail ═ How often do they text or call their lover? And why they do so?

Saki is the type to text you daily and basically all the time! Starting from morning/goodnight messages, to little chats, to just giving you some checks you didn't asked for.

Her checks are usually just sending you photos form cafe she's in with her friends or any other hangouts as she says that she's having fun or that she knows where she's gonna take you on the next date.

"<Hey look! Isn't that squirrel just cute? I got many more photos of it if you want!>"

⊱ Sleep ═ Their lover feel asleep! What's their reaction?

Saki's first reaction was squealing and if she didn't wake you up in the process then it's either miracle or you're really a deep sleeper. If she does tho, she'll immidietly feel bad and try to help you fall asleep again!

She'll even guide your head onto her shoulder or lap so you two can keep in contact while you take your rest. It's lost likely that she'll take few photos of you two but not to much! Maximum number is 3 and these will be just for her and MAYBE she'll show them to her bandmates as well if you agree! But she'll definitely ramble to not only her bandmates but brother as well about this cute situation when you fell asleep next to her or on her. And she always has that adoring and excited smile when she talks about it~

"Awwwh! Omg you're so cute when you're sleepy!! Oh no, sorry! I didn't wanted to wake you up! You can go back to sleep!"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[hazzybat]

Hiiii! The last chapter was my first time reading Bo(jan) (or even really considering them as a ship) and now I'm low-key obsessed with them together??? I love that you're doing ficlets and was trying to think of one that didn't feel like it would cause spoilers, and I was thinking I'd love to read about one of the times Bojan and Jan had their hands down eachothers pants backstage (as Bojan described in the last chapter lol) Backstage semi public sex? Hot. Maybe the first time they messed around? Thank you!! And no worries if you don't want to write it!

i've been saving this ask and tbh I ended up with something pretty rough but it was a good little exercise to get me back into writing after my break. Hopefully you still like it even if it's very short and pretty rough. have some Bo(jan) greenroom sex. kinda.

Bojan and Jan were utilising the adrenaline rush they felt after their first concert together the best way they knew how. Martin and Kris had been stolen away for congratulatory drinks by their vampire clan and Jure had found a girl willing to let him possess her in order to get drunk. That left Jan and Bojan alone in the greenroom. Bojan found it funny how similar arousal and excitement tasted to each other.

As soon as they entered the space Bojan pressed his lips to Jan, kissing him hungrily, needily as Jan instinctively wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s waist. Bojan pushed him to the couch and straddled his lap, lips pressed against the werewolf’s neck. The incubus wasted no time, figuring the bulge he felt in Jan’s jeans was a good enough indication as any he wanted this too.

“Bojan…” Jan moaned out, eyes rolling back as Bojan sucked a mark on his neck, wanting to feed on the delicious taste that hung thick in the air.

“What is it?” Bojan asked, voice low and dripping in desire. He felt a hand in his hair and Jan pulled him back so the werewolf’s lips were against his ear.

“Touch me, please,” Jan growled, sending shivers down Bojan’s spine. He did so eagerly, unzipping his jeans and taking out his boxer-clad dick. Jan was a good size, thick and already leaking precome. It might have been due to Bojan wearing a particularly sultry outfit for their first gig, swaying his hips seductively and playing with the hair of all his bandmates during their performance. Foreplay was his speciality and he’d been working Jan up the moment he stepped on stage.

Jan captured his lips and Bojan’s hand sped up as it jerked him off, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. Jan came quietly, mouth open and hand gripping Bojan’s bicep as his cum stained his boxers.

He was panting as he met Bojan’s eyes, pupils still lust filled as he pulled the incubus close, kissing him over and over, his hand snaking down to cup Bojan’s own neglected length. It didn’t take much, a bit of grinding and touching and filthy words Bojan was shocked Jan was so good at using. He came muttering thank yous into Jan’s neck.

As they lay there, panting against each other, the door opened and an attractive girl walked in, her eyes covered in a milky white film. Walked in might have been a bit generous. Stumbled in would be more accurate.

“Oh fuck am I interrupting a feed or something? Shit sorry guys,” Jure’s voice came out of the woman, his speech slurred. Evidently he’d found a host with a low alcohol tolerance.

“Please tell me she can’t see us right now,” Jan said, his hands on Bojan’s hips, holding the demon close to him and using his body to shield any prying eyes from the mess between them.

“eeeeehhhh, probably not. They can’t… uhhhhhh….. see… stuff…. unless I let them,” Jure said, finishing his sentence much more confidently than he started it, his alcohol-filled mind evidently struggling a bit to find the words.

Bojan couldn’t help but chuckle at the drummer, his hands now wandering over the body he was possessing, ignoring the two men entwined on the couch. Bojan leaned in again to kiss Jan, slower and sweeter than before. He murmured a soft “thank you,” against his lips before finally pulling himself off Jan’s lap and going to the bathroom to help clean them both up.

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

I can't believe I used to hate this chapter... I'M SO EXCITED TO SHARE IT!!! I hope y'all love it!

Chapter 10/16, preview below ⬇️ (yes, the chapter count went up!)

FIC WARNINGS: (take effect in ch 11) Original Character Death, Missing Child, Child Death, Drowning (heed all tags on ao3)

FIC SUMMARY: Julie and Reggie form a deep friendship after meeting through their brothers (“We’re FRIENDS! Stop making it weird!”). He and his friends (and bandmates) help bring her out of the fog of grief, reconnecting her with the music that she’d thought she’d lost with her mother. Over the course of a summer, the tables turn and Julie finds herself showing up for Reggie in ways that they could have never expected.

CHAPTER RELATIONSHIPS: Julie & Luke & Reggie & Alex & Bobby & Flynn, Julie & Flynn, Julie & Reggie, pre-Alex/Willie

CHAPTER OPENING SCENES:

After several very long, very extensive conversations, the boys decide to ask Ray if he would be willing to be their collective stand-in guardian until they were all of age and he agreed, with several conditions (including but not limited to Julie continuing to prioritize school and the boys maintaining their own moderate to good standings so that they could graduate). He also offered to reach out to some of Rose’s old contacts to hunt down a trusted lawyer and get a feel for how they felt about Andi and her label. Everything was falling into place.

After they agree to having Andi represent them, including Flynn as an integral part of their team, they’re planning for another showcase. And, it’s at the Orpheum.

Luke is diving deep into perfecting songs and set lists to keep himself distracted from how huge this is. Flynn expands their social media presence, their personal and the official band accounts. They’re recording and sharing behind the scenes content and sneak peak snippets of what they’re working on as well as promoting the upcoming show directly. Sunset Curve’s pre-existing fans overwhelmingly throw their support behind Julie and the Phantoms and the uploads of their two previous performances are doing incredibly well on YouTube. Julie, Reggie, Alex, and Bobby roll as best they can with everything the other two throw at them.

Before they know it, it’s time to load up and head over to the Orpheum. Up until now, their performances have all felt relatively low stakes and while they’re all trying to treat it just like any other gig, the tell-tale signs of their nerves are peeking through. Once they’ve made it through sound check, they wind up pacing, bouncing, and fidgeting in the green room and after only a few moments in their presence, Flynn snaps.

“Y’all need to chill the fuck out. You’re making ME nervous!”

Julie glares at them and they put their hands up in defense.

“You know I’m right. Go for a walk. Get some air! Something.”

Julie huffs out a breath but complies, gathering the guys and taking them outside for a breather. 

The fresh air and slight energy release helps and they manage to make it to the stage no worse for wear to put on a show they’ve come to expect from themselves.

The crowd absolutely loves them and Julie finishes the final notes of their final song with her arm raised in triumph and tears running down her face. The boys exchange concerned looks as they join her to bow, signaling the end of the set. She manages to get offstage before breaking down completely and the boys are right behind her to catch her before she collapses onto the floor. They look at one another over her head as they wrap her up into a group hug, uttering comforting phrases as they hold her.

Ray comes running backstage, “what happened? What’s wrong? Mija, are you ok?”

The boys back away, letting Ray see his daughter but they don’t stray too far. Reggie keeps his arms wrapped around her. She starts gulping for air through her sobbing. Ray rushes the rest of the way up to them and lowers himself to look her in the eyes. Or the close approximation of it, if they’d been open. 

“Julie, mija, can you hear me?” Ray asks her gently.

She nods.

He looks up at Reggie who nods at him and starts modeling deep breathing for her.

“Follow Reggie’s breaths,” Ray tells her and guides her through them verbally.

The first few are shaky but it doesn’t take long until her breathing is synced with Reggie’s.

“Can we take you to sit down?” Ray asks.

She clutches at Reggie’s shirt desperately.

“I won’t let you go,” Reggie whispers to her. “Promise.”

She nods then. The boys and Ray quickly glance around the space to see where they can take her. They’ve barely made it off the stage and are still in the wings. The boys are still hovering, concerned, but they know better than to get in anyone’s way and aren’t willing to leave Julie if they don’t have to.

“There!” Luke points to a set of speaker cases. 

Ray and Reggie slowly direct Julie toward them and Reggie guides her so that she’s sitting beside him on the largest one. Flynn, who had joined them at some point, hands Julie a bottle of water and backs up to join the boys. She struggles to open it, holding it out silently and Reggie grabs it to twist off the lid and hand it back to her, his arms still wrapped around her as promised. She manages to take a few sips and holds it out again. This time Ray takes it and grabs the lid from Reggie, resealing it and setting it down as he crouches to look at her.

“Mija, what happened?”

“She should be here,” Julie sobs and Reggie tightens his arms around her. 

Ray wraps both of them in a hug of his own. “You’re right, she should,” he agrees. “She’d be so, so proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”

Reggie’s eyes are now filled with tears and he sniffles.

“Well great, now you’ve got me,” Alex chastises him wetly, eliciting a chuckle from Reggie, Ray, and Julie. She lifts her head to look at the others and waves them over. They don’t think twice and swoop in to wrap the trio into a massive group hug. It’s a little awkward, navigating around all of the equipment, but it’s perfect for right now.

“I love you guys,” Julie whispers. 

Everyone who can reach places a kiss on her head. “We love you too,” they chorus.

Continue reading on ao3

[yacinthemorning]

Birdsongs

Chapter 2

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Summary: The Life Pilgrimage is the biggest music festival of the century, set to take place all across the continent. Small-time rock band, GIST, and the up-and-coming alternative band, Empire, are both lucky to be among the hundreds set to make appearances, but there's just one problem. Neither can afford the travel expenses on their own. For better or worse, they're stuck with each other for the next five weeks as they try to make their dreams come true.

And, perhaps, among the chaos and music, two unsuspecting souls find one another...

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (slow burn romantic), Joel/Lizzie (romantic), Jimmy & Scott (platonic)

Warnings: Alcohol, Bad Driving

Months passed, and Jimmy had almost entirely forgotten about the travel situation. To be fair, he barely remembered the event. Or rather, tried not, lest he start to get nervous. But time moved on, and the date snuck up on him. Right up until the night before and Scott rang him up asking how much luggage space he would need. And then suddenly he had two hours before bed to pack, all the while in his ear Scott flipped between calming him down and stressing him out. It only ended when Lizzie and Joel returned from their date night to settle both of the worked-up men down and help Jimmy in person.

Jimmy woke up early that morning, exhausted, with one very poorly organized medium luggage against the wall, a half-empty backpack at the foot of the bed, change of clothes already laid out, and his guitar held too-tightly in his grip. It almost made up for the fact that he forgot to set his alarm, and that the only reason he woke up was Lizzie pounding on the bedroom door.

Scott was already waiting in the driveway, tapping on his steering wheel while Fwhip one-sidedly chatted. Jimmy froze when they made eye contact. He was in A Mood. Probably not helped by the scramble Jimmy caused the previous night or how long he’d been waiting. Maybe he could call a taxi, but that would probably make things worse.

Bless his sister. Lizzie took one look at him, and before he could say a thing she was asking Joel to put her stuff in Scott’s car. It did mean Jimmy was stuck with just Joel for the entire half hour drive, but for once Joel forwent the teasing to instead excitedly ramble about the trip. They even managed to get through the Timmy’s drive-through without incident, which Jimmy chalked up to a pilgrimage miracle.

By the time they got to Gem’s house Jimmy was finally awake and more than a bit jittery, case over his shoulder so he could hold his hot chocolate to his cheek like a heater.

“It’s summer, dude. Not even that cold.” Joel joked. Jimmy just hummed, enjoying the warmth.

He heard Lizzie squeal. “Gem!”

“Liz!”

The two women practically knocked each other over as they collided. Her hair had grown out since Jimmy last saw her, tied back with flowery clips, but she still wore her favourite overalls, a few new embroideries added to its collection. There was another girl, almost as tall as Scott, dressed in a black sweater and beanie. She wore a kind expression, but there was still something a bit intimidating about her.

Behind them, wheeling out the last of the other band’s luggage, was someone much more in line with Jimmy’s mental image of what they would be like. He was muscled, shirt and vest sleeves cut to show it off, and covered head to toe in scars, dotted with a few tattoos. His face was rough, and he quickly snapped at something the girls said, though he sounded jovial about it.

Gem waved Empire over, giving them each a hug before turning to her bandmates. “This is Skizz, our guitarist, and Pearl’s our manager. Impy and Tango went to pick up the trailer.”

“Pleasure to meet ya folks.” Skizz said and held out his hand to shake each of theirs. “Gem lent me one of your CDs. Really love your sound, got a real folky-experimental vibe to it. Can’t wait to get the full live experience!”

Jimmy stuttered out a “you too,” as his hand was roughly shaken. Oh, god, were they supposed to listen to each other’s stuff before today? He hadn’t even thought of that. He could see from the look on Joel’s face that at least he was thinking the same thing. 

Gem laughed. “Ignore Skizz, he likes going above and beyond.” 

“Hey, any excuse is a good excuse to listen to some great music!” 

Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous chuckle escaping him. ‘Great’ wasn’t a term he would ever dare to use for what they made, not for lack of trying on Scott and Lizzie’s part. Those two at least basked in the praise. Scott even seemed to be cheering up again, enough to start chattering with Pearl and Fwhip. Or maybe it was the coffee.

Lizzie was off to the side still talking to Gem. “I’m so sorry we’re late, Jim got a bit behind.”

“It’s no problem, so did Tango. Apparently, he lost something? I dunno, Pearl was the one talking to him. And Impulse took his keys with him so we can’t even get our luggage in the van ‘til he’s back!”

At least Jimmy wasn’t the only one who messed up.

“Hey,” Joel called to him. “Help me with the luggage.”

Nearly thirty minutes later a large trailer pulled up to a very frazzled group. The new arrivals didn’t even get a word in before the chaos started. They were already well behind schedule. Ten people’s luggage had to be piled into a single minivan. Joel’s drum set was hassle enough just getting here, but getting two into the trailer storage compartments was a nightmare. Their saving grace was Scott and Pearl, the last stand between the large group and a giant toppled pile of panic.

Fwhip had just forced the last drum bag into the side compartment, backing off so Jimmy could force it shut. “I didn’t know we had so much stuff.” He whined. Their manager only gave a tired grunt in response.

Impulse came by to do one last double check on all the locks. The man was built, both strong and large-boned and a bit heavier. But, somehow, he managed to be the least intimidating of the GIST band members, with the kindest face Jimmy could recall, and the fashion sense of a dad at a backyard grill party. “Is that everything in?”

“Think so.” Jimmy replied.

“Good, then we can head off. Tango!”

There was a funny little noise, presumably of acknowledgement, before a head of scraggly blond hair held back by a headband poked out from the minivan trunk. Impulse took something out of his pocket and tossed it to him. “You drive the van first. Radio’s in the centre console already.”

“Me?” Tango whined. “Ugh, fiiine.”

Fwhip clapped Jimmy’s shoulder as he pulled himself up into the doorway of the trailer. “Jim, you go with him.”

“What!” He squawked.

“Hey, this is a two team effort! Plus, you made us late, so you’re first up. Now hurry up, you guys are leading.”

Jimmy pouted, but the redhead ignored him. Impulse at least gave him an apologetic pat on the back before heading off as well. With a deep sigh he awkwardly made his way over to the complete stranger. Whom he was going to be stuck with in a van. Alone. For the next ten hours.

 If he was honest, he was kind of avoiding him. Quite frankly, despite his stature, Tango was otherwise basically what Jimmy initially imagined GIST’s members to be. Leather vest, blood red pants barely tucked into bulky steel-toe boots, more than a few piercings, and at least one tattoo half-hidden by his short sleeves. The weird red glasses and oddly sharp-toothed smirk were not in his imagination, but they certainly didn’t not go with the look. He also quite visibly had some sort of pocket knife dangling from his neck. The exact type of person Jimmy tried to avoid.

Anyone friends with Gem will be fine. Anyone friends with Gem will be fine…

He held out his hands to Jimmy. It took him a second to realize they were for his guitar. He pulled it off his shoulder, only to hold it more securely to his chest.

“Don’t bother, you won’t get it off him.” Scott called from the window, giving an unimpressed, almost bored look to the two. Jimmy hugged it tighter.

Tango raised an eyebrow curiously but shrugged and closed the trunk. “C’mon little buddy, let’s get going.”

They shuffled into place. It was a lot easier getting his guitar into the van, thankfully. The van was shockingly pristine. He felt almost scared to put his hot chocolate cup next to a metal container he presumed was Tango’s. A walkie talkie had indeed been set up in the centre console, little stand and everything for it on the dashboard.

Before he started it up, Tango reached over with a hand once again. “Tango, by the way. Don’t think we properly met in all the hubbub.” He said with a giant grin.

For a moment Jimmy eyed it suspiciously, but eventually he pulled on a polite smile and shook back. The grip wasn’t as firm as Jimmy was expecting but shook a little too hard, Jimmy’s elbow banging against his case. “It’s Jimmy. With a ‘J’. Don’t let my bandmates tell you otherwise.”

“Oh, is that so?” Tango giggled. It was a bit wheezy, and broke halfway through, but it was an actual giggle. So far removed from his appearance that Jimmy was sure his brain immediately reset itself on any assumptions he’d yet made. It was downright adorable, if he was completely honest. “There a story there?”

“Sort of, I suppose.” The tension eased out of Jimmy’s body, his smile becoming something more genuine. “Not that interesting, though.”

Tango leaned back, pushing down one of the suitcases so he could see out the back window. “Well, we got plenty of time to share stories today. Let’s get out of here first, before the peanut gallery starts abusing their walkie talkie privileges.”

Jimmy made a small hum of agreement, and off they went. 

“So then Joel just jumped!”

“No!”

“Yep, flew through the air with all the grace of a mole tied to an anchor. Face went right into the floor! All in front of Liz.”

Tango full on cackled, hand slamming down on the steering wheel. Jimmy joined in, inadvertently crushing part of the map between his leg and case. “Was he okay?” Tango barely managed to ask, wiping a tear from his eye.

“He was fine. Drove him to the hospital but the only thing seriously damaged was his ego.”

“Ah, young love. The worst decision maker.”

Jimmy rested his forehead against his guitar, a wistful grin on his face. “I’ll agree to that.”

It was several hours into their trip, and so far the van had been filled with nonstop chatter. A few check in calls on the walkie and bathroom breaks were the only thing able to interrupt the flow of stories. It was nice having a new face to exchange with, someone who Tango hadn’t already known for years. He was honestly expecting plenty of awkward silence from Jimmy based on what he saw and heard from Gem. But once he started going, Jimmy never stopped.

He was so wrapped up in the embarrassing stories that he almost robotically took the map from Tango before Tango could even ask. It was kind of funny. Until Tango got curious and lifted up the empty Timmy’s cup slightly angled towards the other. It wound up absentmindedly in Jimmy’s hands for a good twenty minutes before he gave it an odd look like he had no clue where it came from and put it back. Then, Tango had a new game.

“So,” Tango leaned over to flip the radio to a new station when the old one finally fazed out of range, music replaced by some talk show. “Your band’s been together for a long time, too? If you were already doing shows in college.”

Jimmy hummed, as if he had to think about it. “I suppose, yeah. They had a thing going in the garage before that, but they got serious around then. Scott and Lizzie really wanted to go somewhere with it.”

They? “Were you not part of the group?”

“Hm?” It seemed to take a moment for it all to register. “Oh, uh, I guess that depends on who you ask. Ha…”

“What, were you backup or something?” Tango leaned back, staring at the man curiously.

Jimmy hesitated, rolling his head to the other side of his guitar case so Tango couldn’t see him fully. It didn’t hide the embarrassed blush. “Well, it was mostly Scott and Lizzie’s project, really. They only brought me in cause they needed a guitar. I’m not really on the same level as them or Joel, though.”

Tango hadn’t heard anything from them, so he couldn’t honestly assure Jimmy he sounded fine. But… “Hey, you’re good enough to get a spot on the pilgrimage!” He pointed out. “Two people can’t carry a four-man to that sorta thing. You could be the best soloist in the world and fail hard in a band.”

“I guess.”

“It means you add something. Your band wouldn’t sound the same without you, and that sound’s what got into the pilgrimage, Jimbo. Face it.”

There was a long pause where Jimmy had his whole face hidden, turned towards the window even if the case wasn’t in the way. Then he turned back to Tango with a teasing smirk and said, “What are you? My dad?”

It felt like a punch right in the gut.

Tango hung his head a protracted groan, pushing his knuckles into his eyes. “Nooo, just ship me off to the retirement home now, why don’t ya?” He whined, leaning on the steering wheel as he crumpled.

There was a yelp and a lurch, and a hand pushed him back into his seat while another grabbed the steering wheel. “Tango, watch the road!”

They swerved back into line, the van rumbling over the ridged divide and a few loose sunflower seeds scattering from the bag in the centre console. An airy squeak escaped the taller, who seemed to slump for a second before Tango laughed nervously, which got him a glare. “Are you trying to get us killed? Eyes on the road and hands on the wheel! And where’s your seatbelt? I didn’t even notice!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Tango waved off, reaching for the seatbelt.

“And you know what I’ve been thinking this whole time you’ve been driving really fast, too. You should slow down, we’re going to lose the trailer!”

“Yes mom.” He groaned, then froze with a small, “Oh.”

Both stared at each other for a full second before the van erupted into laughter. “You know,” Jimmy started once he was able to take a breath. “You aren’t nearly as scary as I thought you’d be.”

“I take offence to that.” He joked. A sign on the side of the road caught his attention as it flashed by. This was their turn off the freeway. Tango stuck his head out the window to double check the trailer was still behind them before he slowed. 

Jimmy held up the map for him to better see, and made a little noise, almost like a chirp. “There’s a truck stop with a few restaurants and drug store up ahead.”

“Cool.” Tango agreed, picking up the radio. “Hey, Impy, we’re pulling off up ahead for dinner.”

A crackly response came back. “Roger that!”

A few minutes later they were finally free from their prison, able to stretch out in the evening sun.  Poor Jimmy with his gangly limbs managed to crack every bone in his body from the sounds of it. Tango laughed as he splayed out over the hood, looping his guitar onto his back to press his face flat against the warmed metal while they waited for the trailer to park and file out.

When he finally noticed Tango staring at him his face lit up and sat upright. “Sorry.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry about, enjoy the space before the rabble shows up.” Tango shrugs. Looking around, the easiest thing to find something for everyone was a Wendy’s visible through the window of the lobby. It was one of those giant stops with a constant flow of a dozen vehicles, nothing like the big empty gas station he was expecting when Jimmy said truck stop. Better for them, rather than ten of them piling into some poor diner with two staff.

The rest of their group piled out the side of the trailer like a clown car. Some looked worse for wear, poor Gem looking ready to hurl while her brother rubbed her back. The only ones who looked unbothered were Impulse and Pearl.

“Finally, I need to eat a vegetable.” Scott bemoaned, tying off the bag of snacks-now-garage they’d gotten at the last stop.

Pearl let out an amused gasp, “Mate, it’s been seven hours! Gonna have to get used to it.”

“I’ll amend my statement, then. I need something not covered in ketchup flavoured dust.”

“You let Skizz buy the snacks, huh?” Called Tango. Only Jimmy seemed to hear and tried to muffle a laugh. Tango flashed him a toothy grin while he pushed his glasses up onto his head. He pulled a notepad out from his pocket, “Alright, you guys get snacks and whatever toothpaste you forgot, and we’ll get the real food. What y’all want?” 

“Nuggets!” Both Gem and Fwhip shouted. “With honey mustard-” “With barbeque!”

Their heads whipped to glare at their twin. “You always get barbeque, it’s my turn!” Gem accused quickly, shaking her many friendship bracelets as she wagged her finger at him. Fwhip gasped, getting ready to shoot back before Tango jumped in.

“Hey, hey, no need to fight, I’ll get both.” He held his hands up in appeasement.

Their eyes went wide in awe, as if he had just turned water into wine in front of them. “You can get them to do that?”

“Of course?”

A gasp of laughter escaped Skizz. “What, you think they only allow one sauce per customer or something?”

Freckled cheeks lit up to match their hair. Oh jeez. Tango rubbed his hand over his eyes while the air grew thick with embarrassment and chatter. 

“Oh my gosh, you did!”

“They totally did.”

“Isn’t that how it works?”

“No, of course not!”

“But- I mean- Mom always-”

“Are you bloody kidding me?”

“Wait, did your mom tell you guys that you could only get one sauce?”

 “A’ight, a’ight.” Jimmy, bless his heart, managed to pull himself together enough to interrupt. “Orders first, then you can laugh at them.”

“Hey!”

Eventually they escaped the mocking circle with everyone’s order to sit in line for the long wait. Tango had to admit, though most of his experience so far was only Jimmy, he was starting to like this other band. They seemed more than a bit eccentric, but that wasn’t anything he couldn’t also accuse his own band of being. Well, no, it was a very different sort of vibe, that was for sure. Not a bad one, though. They might all even survive the entire trip.

He and Jimmy were the last to show up at the tables, and the bags were torn apart like they’d been thrown to rabid animals. True to his words, Scott only got a salad and coffee, meagre looking next to Skizz and Jimmy’s pile of burgers. Tango couldn’t blame him, he wasn’t all that hungry himself after snacking in the car all day. “Do you want some of my fries?” Jimmy still whispered, which got the first genuine smile out of Scott Tango thinks he’s seen since they met that morning.

“You good to drive the last two hours?” Asked Pearl beside him. “I can switch if you need to.”

Tango flashed her a thumbs up. “We’re good.”

“Sorry for dumping you with a total stranger.”

He shrugged, picking at another fry as he watched his driving buddy. Another of his bandmates – Lizzie, was it? – had started to tease him about sitting next to Scott. There was something odd about the way the other band interacted that Tango couldn’t quite put his finger on. Or maybe he had become too comfortable with his own friendships. “Seems like a good guy, I don’t mind.”

A few hours later they were pulling into the RV park for the night. Tango could have gone several more hours, but according to the rest it would throw off their travel route, and everyone else looked exhausted. Excitement had finally died down into a low simmer. Jimmy especially seemed ready to pass out. There was just one issue…

“Where’s everyone gonna sleep?” He asked as he dropped their cooler on a picnic table.

That woke everyone up. Glares darted among the group, but before fights could break out Scott stepped up. A notepad plopped onto the table. “I’ve worked out the arrangements while we drove. Pearl, Gem-” The two girls perked up. “-You two are with me in the queen.”

“Of course you give yourself the queen.” Fwhip rolled his eyes.

Scott ignored him. “Impulse and Skizz, you guys share the couch pullout. Fwhip you get top bunk, Lizzie and Joel can share bottom bunk.”

“Because we’re practically one.” Lizzie cooed, clasping her hand with her husband’s.

“Yes, you two combined are about the size of a normal person.”

“Hey!”

“And Tango and Jimmy can share the dinette pullout.”

“Again?” Jimmy groaned. Ouch, rude , though Tango understood. They’d just met this morning and it felt as though they were already being pawned off as each other’s babysitter.

Pearl smiled, “If you feel that strongly, Jimmy, I’ll switch with you-”

“NO!” Both Jimmy and Scott shouted.

The table went quiet. Jimmy shrunk down like he was trying to become one with the bench, while Scott rolled his shoulders back into his previous composure. “If we need to change sleeping arrangements later we will, but I think this is fine for tonight. We brought a tent for when we have room to set it up, so hopefully it won’t be cramped every night.”

A clap emitted from the end of the table. With his usually wide, friendly grin, Impulse stood up. “Well, there’s a firepit. How about we go buy a couple logs and beers and we have a fun first night on the road?”

Tango snorted. Leave it to Impulse to come up with the most dad get-along plan. 

“I’ll pass on the beers, but I’ll take some marshmallows!” Pearl seconded. Everyone else slowly loosened back up, agreeing with increasing enthusiasm. Imp and Skizz jogged down to the small park store before it closed. Scott, Lizzie, and Gem wandered off to get ready for bed first while the rest sorted their luggage. Tango wound up cleaning out the fire pit. Only Jimmy remained at the table, still looking half asleep and fidgeting with the strap of his guitar case.

Once the pit was ready for Impulse’s return Tango flopped down onto the opposite bench, wiping the soot onto his pants. “Sleepy?”

Jimmy startled, half-lidded eyes popping wide open and a little squeak like a chirp escaping him. When he realized it was not a serial killer sneaking up on him but just Tango, he seemed to instantly slip back into his half-awake state. Head rested against his case, he said, “M’not used to stayin’ up late.”

“You one of those morning people I’ve heard myths about?” Tangle chuckled when he got a sleepy nod.

“Early bird catches the worm. That’s what mum used to say. Although in her case it was a cow, not a worm.”

“Couldn’t be me, I haven’t gotten to sleep before the AM in years.” Tango smiled. Just the thought seemed to make Jimmy cringe, burying his face against his case and shaking his head. Chewing his lip, Tango finally asked, “Whatcha got there, anyways?”

That seemed to catch the taller man’s attention. He leaned back, staring at his guitar case like he’d only just realized it was there. There was a flash of some emotion Tango couldn’t quite catch. Then, he carefully laid it out on the table and popped it open.

Inside was a white Stratocaster. Hardly in the best of shape, with scratches along the edge from where it seems it’d been dropped or banged into things. Well loved, perhaps quite old by now, but in good playing condition. It would have been quite plain, in fact, if not for the stickers. All over the body, front and back as Tango got to see when it was lifted from its case, were various stickers. 

Tango had known people who’d put stickers on their guitars from venues they played or countries they travelled. That didn’t seem to be the case for Jimmy, though. There were a few, but most seemed to be cheap dollar store stickers, the kind that came in multiple themed covered in glitter that flaked off. One was the exact sort of gold star sticker one might get in primary school. It was placed right under a cartoon cowboy hat, which was next to a brown fish. Further along was a little yellow bird, slapped overtop another, bright red sticker. It was hard to see in the twilight, and it seemed someone tried to pick it off before the cheap paper ripped, leaving a streak of white through the middle.

Jimmy fidgeted more the longer Tango examined it, until he pulled it below the table. His ears were red as he stuttered. “Sorry to disappoint, it’s nothin’ special.”

“Wh- no! It’s a good guitar!” Tango raised his hand before he thought better of touching the man. They were still pretty much strangers. “It’s cute. You put those on yourself?” Idiot, of course he did, he chastised himself. Who else would? Some sticker gnome who sneaks into guitar cases at night?

It did make Jimmy perk up a bit, loosening his hold. “Yeah, whenever I see one I like, or for special occasions. Some of them are from my friends. Though, Joel said it would make it sound bad…”

“That’s just a superstition.” Tango handwaved.

“Ha! That’s what I thought. I told him it just needed tuning.” His chest puffed up slightly, a smug smile stretching across his face. If he was a chicken Tango imagined he’d be strutting around like he’d just won some great debate. It was adorable, if Tango was honest. 

Thankfully, he wasn’t. He cleared his throat, “So, is it, like, your lucky guitar or somethin’?”

“Hm?” Jimmy blinked, deflating in an instant. “Um, not really? It’s, um, it’s my only guitar. The only one I ever had.”

An impressed whistle escaped him. “Really? That’s amazing, it’s still in pretty good condition, then. Really spoke to you in the shop, huh?”

Jimmy let out what was quite possibly the world’s cutest noise, and his face turned bright crimson before it disappeared behind the guitar. Well that was certainly not the reaction Tango was expecting. He waited for a reply, but none came. In fact, no words at all came as the minutes stretched on. A bit worried, Tango was about to beg forgiveness for whatever nerve he’d struck when Skizz shouted, “Beer’s here!” and shattered the bubble they’d been in. 

A few people were already gathered around the pit. Pearl was bundled up into her biggest sweater while chatting with Gem, who was still running a towel through her hair. Fwhip eyed the pair of men with a knowing smirk that made Tango feel like an idiot but walked past them to help with the beers. 

Scott came out of the trailer buttoning up his pyjamas. “Jimmy, it’s your turn. Before you pass out.”

You would have thought the bench Jimmy had been sitting on was on fire. In one swift motion his Strat was back in his case and both were gone. Tango sat there for another moment, then groaned, slamming his head against the table. Wonderful, he’d already managed to shove his foot in his mouth only a day into their month-long trip. Not wanting to wallow in his misery, he grabbed his lighter from his pocket and joined Impulse. Maybe some controlled pyromania would cheer him up…

Caught up in his own head, he almost missed the unreadable look Scott gave him before he disappeared back into the trailer.

[beholdthemem]

I kind of picture Chrissy initially being at a bit of a loss when receiving physical affection.

Like, she grew up in a household where that was just not a thing she was going to get - and perhaps did not even realize she was missing out on. Can’t miss what you’ve never known, after all.

...and then she starts hanging out with Eddie.

Eddie has never been a hugger by any means (That scene where the gang finds him hiding out and Dustin immediately pulls him into a hug was very sweet, but also cracks me up because Eddie’s just standing there with his arms out awkwardly like ‘What? The fuck??’ before finally returning it really slowly and patting Dustin on the back like ‘...this is... this is a thing you do with hugs, right? Christ, this is weird-’) but HAS always been pretty big on casual physical touch.

It’s not even a conscious choice, really. It’s just... automatic. Eddie’s bandmates are all pretty used to him slinging an arm over their shoulders while describing his latest plan, he has used every one of his freshmen as an elbow rest at least once, he and Wayne will absentmindedly put a hand on backs or shoulders while passing each other by as an unspoken acknowledgement- he’s just an unexpectedly physical dude.

He initially holds off including Chrissy in that, because he’s fully aware he’s a lot bigger than she is and doesn’t want to unintentionally make an advance that frightens her- but as soon as they hit a point where they’re regularly hanging out and talking, she promptly gets looped into the touching thing.

To be clear, she does not object!

She has zero problems with this. Up until now, she had now idea that this was something she’d even wanted, and now she feels herself reacting like she’s spent her whole life in a desert and is now being given all the water she’d ever need. 

She’s just.

Uh.

...well, she’s never quite sure how to react.

It’s like her brain freezes up as soon as it’s happening. She feels ridiculous because she knows it’s gotta be like side-hugging a mannequin- but fortunately, that doesn’t seem to stop Eddie from doing it. 

(It’s cool. He gets it. And while he’s never been a hugger before, he’s willing to make an effort at it now- because sure, it feels strange, but it helped him when he was Not In A Great Place. He feels like it can’t hurt to try and extend that Chris, because she’s spent YEARS in one. She’s got lost time to catch up on.)

(So he is willing to hug her- and also Henderson. Purely because the kid’s the one who STARTED all this hugging shit in the first place, and never makes it weird that Eddie’s participating instead of falling back into his usual Cynical Bullshit.)

[ribelleribelle]

talking about my wip/go to fantasy for when im bored in class because i have nothing to do

it doesn't really have a name, but it's about 3 flatmates who are kinda broke and in their 20s (except for steve but i'll get to him in a moment), one of them's rock band, and the sheer chaos that they are constantly in.

we have:

Seb (sebastian) - he/him, gay, plays guitar, is a complete disaster and a total mood, looks like a metalhead but listens to all rock music, really ("i don't see any difference, rock is rock"). he's a bit of a dumbass but not that stupid and really cares about his friends (even if he seldom shows it). he works in a record shop since he dropped out of university, now he is in a band.

Vivian - she/her, maybe bisexual?? she doesn't know (i don't know either i haven't decided yet), aspiring stylist/movie costume designer, sleep deprived and coffee dependant, sarcastic sense of humour, can't stand her flatmates, actually a nice person if you aren't seb or his bandmates (except eve).

Steve - he/him, the most middle-aged-dad-literally-just-some-guy ever, ghost. yeah, he's a ghost, he died 30 years ago (in the dullest way you can imagine) and since then he haunts the house. not that he cares about all that haunting stuff tho, he's just here to read his newspapers and chill. he can't really chill though because he has to hear the band practice and vivian argue with seb every. single. day.

then there's the Haunters (because of steve haunting the house), seb's band, and we have:

David - he/him, trans and bi, singer, he and seb were best friends in middle school and high school, they were inseparable until he got a girlfriend (who looked suspiciously a lot like seb) and went in the same university as her. when they split up, like 2-3 years later, he realized uni wasn't for him and went to find seb again. seb is in love with him since they were 16.

Ash - they/them, aroace, bass player, met seb in the record shop and have been friends for a couple of years. they're the youngest member of the band and has been basically adopted by them. tiny and angry, has a collection of sunglasses and gets bored easily because of no attention span whatsoever (they're literally me except i don't play bass).

Eve - she/they, lesbian, drummer, vivian's best friend (who doesn't approve of her being in the band tho) and fashion icon. can't drive but loves to and doesn't let anyone touch her car. she is the one who knows seb and david the least, so she's constantly going insane over their always present sexual tension and obvious mutual untold love.

basically the main story is: vivian wants to hold a party to show how cool she is and how good her clothes are so that she can get a job and start her career as a designer, meanwhile david arrives unannounced to reunite with seb after 2 or 3 years since they last saw each other. they decide to put together their old high school band again, ash joins them and later so does eve (who met the band kinda by accident). they start playing together and they like it so much they manage to convince vivian to let them play at her party. while her, eve and ash organize the party and try to figure out all the problems and trouble they find along the way (steve tries to help too), seb and david have to put back together their frienship by being extremely gay and even more oblivious with each other. the day of the party comes and everything is set up (more or less), the guests are all there and vivian is confident. all the attention should be on her creations but when the haunters start playing they steal the spotlight with an amazing performance and the frontman and guitarist being unintentionally very homoerotic. the tension between the two finally breaks after they kiss on stage and they Realize a LOT of things. but the show must go on, they keep playing while ash is unimpressed (they saw that coming) and eve is SHOCKED (they didn't), but not for long because steve arrives to see what the hell is going on in the living room and he's VERY angry because he just wants to read but there's too much noise, so he freaks out all the guests. they all run away, stuff catches fire, it's a MESS, and vivian is FURIOUS. just before she's about to commit 4 murders in a row (not 5 because steve is already dead) seb and david escape and there's like a wholehearted conversation about their feelings (spoiler: they're been super in love with each other since before david got a gf but didn't realize it) also they make out a little??? idk i'm too aroace for this. meanwhile the rest of the band is also safe from vivian's rage because a woman approaches her and tells her how cool this whole performance was (clearly thought it was fake) and offers her a job. everyone gets an happy ending but the story WILL go on because the hunters are gonna keep playing and maybe they'll get famous and vivian too, who knows? (i don't)

.....doodles under the cut bc i wrote already too much :]

if you can read my handwriting ily <3

anyways, what's in these blurry pics:

seb

eve

ash

david + tiny eve playing the drums and tiny ash being *swag*

messy sketch of seb and david being gay

old ass drawing of eve and ash

even messier sketch of seb and david being gay

same thing as 5 and 7 but with ash and tiny steve being a ghost in the corner

random drawings of everyone

eve being shocked, ash being uninpressed and the only decent drawing i have of vivian (sorry)

[triplexdoublex]

Dream 10/9/2022

Been trying to find the time to post this today. This one was a wild ride 🤣

I had a dream last night I had VIP tickets for an MGK show and I was in this little waiting area with all the other VIP people and I was tumblr messaging with @hollywoodxwhore and she sent me a new pic of Kells and Megan and I was just about to bitch about Megan when I hear someone behind me say “I love that picture of them!” I turn around and it’s Casie and I ask if we can get a pic together and she says sure but then I forget how to work my phone camera and miss the opportunity cuz the venue started rushing us all out of the room to our seats. I had close seats BUT they were at a horrible angle and all I could see was the drums and part of Rooks back but I took some pictures and messaged them to @blxxdyvalentine19xx and @thebreakup . Then I saw Kells for a split second and he had cut his hair like the I think I’m ok video but left some pink on the top and I tried to get another pic but the venue staff started rushing us to exit and put us on subway trains for some reason and I realized I got on the wrong one and was begging the driver to stop so I could get off but he said he couldn’t stop for the next hour and a half but I begged more and told him I got separated from my young daughter somehow so he finally stopped and when I got to the next station my daughter was already there waiting for me somehow. Then we ran into my dad and he was holding something in a navy blue towel and I’m like what’s that and he’s like “your new baby sister” and I’m like “another kid really!?? like you don’t have enough?” And he hands her to me and tells me her name is Saffron Wood, the first thing I notice is she’s still all covered in that white vernix from birth and I’m getting suspicious, next thing I notice is she has Down syndrome, next thing I notice is she’s A FUCKING BIRD!!! Apparently he kidnapped her after birth to keep her safe from her crazy mother .. well crazy mom shows up with the mob and takes out my dad , I’m still holding my bird sister and hop on the next train with her and my daughter and all of a sudden my mom is a few seats ahead of me. Everyone on the train is wearing MGK merch but they’re really weird and mean and zombie like and keep trying to break my sisters beak. One of them actually cracks it , and I hand her to my mom a few seats up to keep her safe. But then I notice my daughters missing … the mean fans had hid her under a seat , I pull her out and thought she was dead but she was fine. But Surprise! We’re on the wrong damn train again and some how have ended up in Berlin. ( I was supposed to be headed back to Pennsylvania, USA) . But at least my husband met us there. We’re about to get on another train but we’re out of money when all of a sudden I see Mod Sun and his bandmates. And I tell my husband “omg Mod Sun’s like the nicest guy on earth he’ll help us!” I go up to mod sun and I’m like “can you please help us get back to PA, Brennan ( Mods Guitarist) goes “fuck no, we’re on our way to Brazil!” But Mod’s like “wait lemme hear her story” so I break down the last 24 hours for him and he agrees to help. Brennan is pissed but whatever, Mod walks us to an old white convertible car on the roof of the train station and somehow DRIVES us from Berlin, Germany to Pennsylvania, USA. I immediately take my baby sister to the ER to get her beak checked out and I ask the doctor if she’s gonna be ok and he says “she’ll most likely never be able to return to the wild.” 🤣

[kerra-and-company]

🖊️🖊️🖊️ for any kiddos you feel like talking about (@uselessidiotsquad )

Gladly!! Thanks a bunch for these! :D <3 Going to use some of this space to talk about character dynamics rather than just individual characters, cause why not and I am having Thoughts about them.

🖊 - Tanza and Aysel met when they were both eleven and spent a lot of their childhood together, alongside Tanza's other childhood best friend, Crackling Frost (a kodan--it's worth noting that the three of them grew up in Song of Final Exile in Snowden Drifts). Crackling Frost (who goes by Crackle to their friends) and Aysel took a bit of time to trust each other, but they eventually bonded over the people they'd lost--they'd both lost an older sibling. Tanza trusted Aysel almost instantly and Aysel trusted her relatively fast as well--she helped Aysel pick her name. Tanza did have a crush on Aysel for a couple years but got over it on her own without ever actually saying anything; the whole duration of that was very frustrating for Crackle, who didn't understand why actually talking that out would be hard to do.

Aysel was the first of the three to leave; she joined the Vigil about a month or two after she earned the title of Slayer of Issormir. Tanza was actively frustrated with her for leaving and was a bit snippy with her about it but didn't try to stop her. They eventually leave home to join the Pact after seeing Braham rallying a group to go after Jormag--they don't particularly think they have a chance of being picked to go, but they'd like to start taking action to fight some of the problems in the world. Crackle stays in Song of Final Exile, and hopes to maybe someday become the Voice of the sanctuary. They hold down the fort, so to speak. They also absolutely had a conversation with Tanza when they were very small, before Aysel got there, about the two of them being Voice and Claw together someday, though it was far more a childhood fantasy than something either of them thought would ever happen.

🖊 - Pol, after he dies, is incredibly lost on what to do. He ends up in the Domain of the Lost for a bit, actually, because of the specific manner in which he died--being killed thanks to your 'bandmate's betrayal, even if not by his hand, is certainly traumatic. He manages to reclaim his name and his purpose, but he doesn't want to move on. He's not at peace, but he doesn't know what in Tyria he could possibly do about it. He can't come back to life, and he's afraid to move on and leave his family for good (even though he, in many ways, pretty much has at that point). He pretty much just hangs out in the Domain of the Lost and stays away from the Judge, trying to figure out what exactly he should do.

He eventually decides to see if there's any sort of way out of the place he's in, and though he doesn't manage to find a way back to life on his own, he does manage to slip out of the specific part of the Mists that holds the Domain of the Lost. He spends years just...wandering, pretty much, alongside his devourer Flint. He'd never fancied himself an explorer, but he certainly does a lot of it and even learns to somewhat enjoy it--until he manages to explore himself right near the entrance to the Realm of the Dead, the place where human spirits go and somewhere he doesn't particularly want to be. He's also tired, though, and the idea that he won't ever return to his 'bandmates regardless is pressing at the back of his mind, so he lingers at the entrance a bit before finally turning to leave.

It turns out he has either excellent or terrible timing, because he spins around and almost runs straight into a young human woman with a greatsword. And this woman is alive.

🖊 - Minei doesn't really know what to make of the strange charr she meets in the Mists, but he doesn't seem threatening, and when she explains that she's come to figure out whatever is happening in the Underworld that's letting creatures out to attack people in Tyria, he even offers to help. The timing is suspicious, but their team is small and they could use more help. She agrees.

They go through the Underworld, meet Desmina, fight Dhuum. Minei is, afterwards, suddenly part of a really weird power struggle--she doesn't want to be in charge of the Underworld (and Desmina wouldn't let her even if she did), but she also doesn't particularly want Desmina to have full reign, either. It's the beginning of a very tempestuous relationship the two of them will maintain over the years following. But she's grateful to Pol for his assistance in dealing with Dhuum and makes sure to escort him back into the Mists proper and out of the Underworld.

They don't run into each other again until Dragonfall, at which point Minei finds Pol amongst the spirits in Glint's army. They get the chance to properly talk, and they become decent friends in the spaces between setting up for the final battle against Kralkatorrik. And after a new Elder Dragon ascends, Minei, who at this point has a better idea of how her power set has improved since Dhuum's defeat, and who has lost so many people in her life, goes to Pol and basically tells him "I think I can do this--I think I can bring you back to life. Do you want me to do this for you?"

And he accepts.

[chisatowo]

Less ocs that are canon character's partners or siblings more ocs that are canon characters annoying younger cousin they've met like twice /j

[michelle-is-writing]

Tommy’s Sister, Nikki Sixx

Request: Can you do a tommy lee where his baby sister is graduating from collage and she's up st her house unexpected with his bandmates and he catches a dude seeking out of her room and come to find out her and the dude has be sleeping together.

Word Count: 1.4k~

Tommy has always been a protective older brother, despite only being ten months older than me. Still, when he’s around, Tommy makes sure that no guy has even the smallest opportunity to say something to me, much less hit on me. He shuts every guy down quickly, but over the years, I’ve grown more annoyed as the things I used to find funny now seem overbearing and embarrassing.

However, what Tommy doesn’t realize is the one guy he has failed to shut down is his own bandmate, Nikki. This is mostly due to Nikki turning any guy away from me like Tommy does, leading to Tommy thinking he’s picked up the older brother attitude as well, but no - not by a long shot.

Currently, Tommy still has no idea about mine and Nikki’s relationship, and with us going on over a year now, we have to figure out how to tell him soon. Our relationship started right when Tommy brought Nikki over to our parents’ house for dinner one night and I happened to have some free time away from my college classes. Nikki and I could almost read each other’s minds as we sat across from each other at my parent’s dinner table, smiles forming on our faces as everyone talked around us. That was several Motley Crue tours ago, and now that they’re all home for the next four months, Nikki and I have plenty of time to try and formulate a plan. Hopefully, we'll be able to enact some type of plan before my graduation, avoiding any negative outcomes.

“You know he’s going to freak out the second we tell him,” Nikki points out the obvious, lying on his side next to me in my bed. His hair is a wreck and the makeup he had on from their last show stains underneath his eyes. The second he got back from their recent tour, he came straight over to my apartment while Tommy went to our parents. It worked out perfectly. “I mean, he’s not going to be happy.”

“About what? That his best friend is in his sister's bed? Or that we’re naked?” I ask him, rolling over to press my chest against his, gaining a smirk from him in response. Instantly, Nikki’s arm resting against my waist pulls me closer to him as he connects his plush lips to mine for a short second. The moment he pulls away, I can’t help but giggle. “Do you think Tommy’s going to kill us?”

Nikki laughs at my whispered question, shaking his head against my sheets. “No, he won’t kill us. Me maybe, but definitely not you,” he jokes, earning a teasing slap to his chest. He only grins at this, his lower lips caught between his teeth. “I think if we invite him over and calmly explain it to him, he might have a… better reaction.”

Nodding at Nikki’s words, I cuddle closer to him in our hold while pushing my face against his neck. It feels so good to finally be able to spend time with Nikki that doesn’t involve him having to use a pay phone or sending me postcards. We’re finally together after almost five months of having to suffer without him. I couldn’t be happier for him to finally be back, and what makes it even better is the fact that he came straight to my place after getting off the plane. I don’t know what exactly went through my head when he knocked on my apartment door with his carry-on behind him, but I do remember immediately pulling him inside for a kiss. That kiss is why we’re in our current predicament as that kiss was just the start of many things to occur throughout the night.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t lose his shit,” I mumble, Nikki nodding in response to my words. For a few moments, a calm silence passes between us, but it’s not awkward; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. It feels as if the world and time itself has slowed down around us and it’s just me and Nikki, no one else.

“I could stay like this forever,” I whisper to Nikki, earning a nod and kiss back in response. I can hear his voice speak up, “me too, sweetheart,” but I’m drifting asleep too fast to even process the words. Being so comfortable in his arms has made me feel like I haven’t slept in ages, and it’s so relaxing.

The sound of my front door slamming open has me emerging from my sleepy state quickly, and before I can even jump up to investigate, Nikki’s already out of bed, wrapping a random towel from my floor around his waist as he opens my bedroom door. The strong and brave demeanor he gained thinking it was an intruder immediately falters as soon as his eyes catch Tommy walking through my living room with his back facing us, causing Nikki to quietly shut the door afterward before turning to me with wide eyes. “What the fuck,” he mouths to me, only to be met with my own bewildered expression. When the hell did my brother get a key to my place?

“(Y/n)?” Tommy yells my name out, bringing me out of my stupor. Jumping up from my bed, I clamber over to my door and quickly grab my robe. Quickly shuffling to put it on, Nikki helps me do so as my legs kind of feel like jelly right now, leading to him holding me against him as I stand.

“I’m in my room!” I yell out, fear coursing through me as I hear Tommy’s running feet come closer. “Don’t come in! I’m naked!” I add, hoping he’ll get the message. However, because it’s Tommy we’re talking about, he never gets the message.

I hear him laugh, Nikki and I sharing a confused look as he does so. That is until his laughter is cut short and his tone changes. “Why are you naked?” He asks, banging on my bedroom door now. “Is there a boy in there?!”

With there being no lock on my door, Tommy wastes no time in opening it, only to turn the corner and see his best friend standing right beside me, my pink bath towel wrapped around his naked torso as his arm stays wrapped around my waist, definitely not making the situation any better. For a moment, Tommy is shocked, and I’m almost scared of what’s to come next.

“Oh, what the fuck?!” He finally speaks up, Nikki and I jolting as soon as he does so. “Nikki, really?! How long- When did- ugh!” Shouting in frustration, Tommy throws his hands up in the air before moving to sit on the edge of my bed, seemingly a little overwhelmed. “I mean, I never knew! How did I not know? I should’ve seen something, right?” Tommy looks over at me and Nikki, waiting for a response that we can’t seem to give him. In fact, neither of us can really speak up at the moment, still in shock.

“Nikki, we’re best buds - you couldn’t have told me?” He says, shaking his head afterward. Looking down at the ground, he sighs. “At least it wasn’t Vince…” he mutters more to himself than us, but Nikki and I end up letting out a relieved laugh at Tommy’s sudden joking mood.

“At least you’re not trying to kill me,” Nikki tells Tommy, making him laugh as well. The more Tommy seems to let go, the more relieved I become. Maybe Tommy’s accepting of our relationship, but then again, he doesn’t know all the details - like the fact we’ve been together for over a year now, and Tommy’s only finding out now.

“No, dude, I just wish you would’ve told me sooner,” Tommy says, making me smile. “I wondered why you haven’t touched any of the chicks on our tours, but now I know- and dude! I’m actually relieved now!”

At Tommy’s revelation, I fully relax in Nikki’s hold as my heart skips a beat, Nikki pulling my body closer to him in response. I always believed Nikki when he said he wasn’t with anyone else, but to hear Tommy further validate everything makes me feel so much more love for Nikki as well as the love Nikki proclaims to me.

The moment’s going so well, perfect almost, but just like Tommy, Nikki doesn’t get the hint when to stop either, and instead of letting the silence persist, he has to speak his mind.

“Dude, you probably shouldn’t be sitting on the bed, though.”

[wastelandcth]

i’ll always come back to you - cth

summary: Calum wore a skirt. A stage reveal happens. 

author’s notes: I have no excuse but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

warnings: Cal in a skirt (please it’s too good), car sex, PIV, calum blanks out a little, she’s back and better than ever!

masterlist || request || more doves

“What do you think I should wear?” Calum asked softly, his hands running through the different items in his closet once more, “It’s a pretty big show, I can’t just show up in something shitty. All I’ve worn for the past two years is either baggy jeans and a t-shirt or shorts and no shirt.” 

It was true, ever since the world had shut down and the band’s tour had been put on hold more times than Calum could count, his passion for fashion and finding new clothes to wear had been put on hold as well. Comfort and trying to stay sane in the middle of a worldwide pandemic had left him reaching for any signs of comfort to hold on to and keep him sane. But with the band’s first show slowly approaching and Calum’s nerves returning in the form of playing a fake bass while he tried to calm his racing mind, he knew he’d have to find an outfit sooner or later, and it’d have to be one to make him feel good about himself on stage once more. 

“I mean, I don’t think anyone would personally complain about you showing up shirtless to a show,” Dovey teased, her eyes tracing the muscles in Calum’s back as she sat on the edge of the bed, “I certainly wouldn’t.” 

“Yeah, but you’re a pervert so you have no choice,” Calum chuckled and threw another shirt towards his loving wife. 

The days had gone by and Calum had been stuck at rehearsals, trying his best to find the groove the band had long for ever since the start of the shutdown, but eventually, Calum found himself at home the morning of the show watching from the green room as the concert went on around the world. His bag, which he’d packed and unpacked multiple times that morning, laid on one of the couches. He knew he’d made the right choice, the look on Dovey’s face when he’d packed away the black fabric before she could get a peek of it enough of a reaction to make him smirk before he had rushed out the door at the sound of Ashton’s horn. 

“So, did you decide on an outfit?” Michael asked as he sat down next to him during a break in their soundcheck, watching as Calum’s leg swung along to whatever beat Ashton was trying to work out with Luke, “Dovey has been texting me all day asking if I’ve gotten a peek at it.” 

“Tell her to fuck off,” Calum chuckled, “I told her she had to wait like everyone else did to see it.” 

“Alright,” Michael huffed, nudging him playfully, “But we’re going to be the first to see it then.”

“Yeah, yeah, and she’ll manage to bully you into telling her somehow.” 

Calum looked in the mirror, inhaling a shaky breath as he fixed the collar of his suit jacket once more as he heard his bandmates chuckling outside of the bathroom door. With one final look at his outfit he opened the door and stepped out, goosebumps covering his skin as the cold air of the dressing room brushed against his legs. 

“Woah! Calum!” Ashton grinned, his eyes wide and his head nodding, “No man, that looks sick! I love it!” 

“Oh man, your dad is going to freak once he sees you on stage!” Luke nodded, “You look so good!”

“Guys, Dovey is literally going to kill us all,” Michael whined and clapped Calum on the shoulder, “You look fucking awesome, dude.”

Calum’s cheeks flushed, turning hot as he chuckled and shook his head, letting the curls he’d been growing out swish against his forehead while he tried his best not to push away his very excited and very supportive bandmates. It wasn’t until the room, which consisted of the four of them and their photographer started chanting for him to do a spin that he’d finally told them to fuck off. But with a spin, and a small bout of giggles that left him when the material of his skirt brushed against the back of his knees, Calum had never felt more prepared to play a show in his life, especially when he knew that Dovey would be in the crowd singing her heart out along with them all. 

Dovey’s eyes watched the crowd around her grow restless as time ticked slowly, minutes dragging on until the show would start. Her adrenaline was high as she heard an announcer overhead shout that the show would start in one minute, the pit in her stomach thrumming with excitement and the thought of seeing her husband and his best friends on stage again after so long. She knew how much Calum missed being on stage with them, how much he missed performing to a crowd of people singing the lyrics back to them, and so she knew that tonight’s performance would be nothing but perfect. The hum of a guitar backstage and the sound of cheers around her had Dovey on her feet before she even knew it, her wide eyes searching the stage for the man she’d married. 

“Oh my god, he did not,” she gasped, her cheers and clapping drowned out in the rest of the crowd as she saw Calum walking out on stage, “That bastard!”

On stage, under the shining lights and for everyone to see, Calum Hood stood grinning as his fingers moved easily over the strings of his bass. The silver chains, which hung across Calum’s waist, shone like his eyes as the set started. Dovey’s eyes tried their hardest to focus, her vision blurred by the tears that sprung out as she watched the love of her life sing his heart out on stage after too many months of being away from the one place he was able to lose himself in. The skirt, which Dovey was already drooling over, swayed along with every movement Calum made as she found herself swaying along with it, stuck in a never-ending dance she wasn’t sure she’d ever want to end. But when Ghost of You played out and Dovey’s eyes found Calum’s it was like the large crowds that had given her anxiety ever since Calum had mentioned the show and the loud music had all disappeared. 

There was no one but her and Calum standing there, swaying to the song that had meant more to them than anyone could have ever imagined. 

She knew their kids were watching from home, giggling and dancing along in the safety of their living room while the sitter recorded them for Dovey and Calum to cry along to later that night. But right now, in the moment, all she could think about was how despite all the things that had gone wrong and how scary the world had turned, she still had her family and the love of her life was singing to her in a room full of people once more. The set was over before Dovey even realized, her legs carrying her back towards the dressing room she’d left not too long ago and towards her husband and his amazingly talented friends. 

The night had become a whirlwind of events, Dovey’s arms wrapping around Calum and stuttering through her praises as her hands and eyes took in his after-show presence. Her mind was distracted throughout the rest of the promo the band had gone to do with the view of him in the skirt and mesh shirt that kept peeking in and out of view from where she stood with the rest of their team. Her eyes never left his as she watched him smile and laugh with the band and it wasn’t until the car door closed next to her and she watched Calum walk in front of the car before sliding into the driver’s seat that she let out the soft breath she was holding in. 

“So, what did you think of the show?” Calum asked as he pulled off the highway, his grin wide as his eyes glanced over at Dovey, “Did you like it? I think we did great. Yeah, the set was short but I think it we-”

“Calum, if you don’t pull over right now I will literally crash this car,” Dovey breathed out, her hand reaching out and squeezing Calum’s thigh gently. 

The car screech to a halt, Calum’s soft gasp lost on Dovey’s lips as she pulled him into a kiss, Calum’s body leaning over the console to pull her even closer to him. He and Dovey might not have been a couple of a thousand words, but he knew exactly what she was doing when her teeth pulled gently at his bottom lip. He also knew that they didn’t have much time before their car was steamed up and their moans echoed against the tinted windows, so Calum had to work fast. 

“Back seat, baby girl,” he breathed out, his forehead resting against his wife’s for just a second before she sprung into action, her soft laughter music to Calum’s ears. 

“I am. So proud. Of you.” Dovey mumbled in between the kisses she was leaving on Calum’s skin, her hips rolling against his and pressed up silver chains of his skirt, “You looked so fucking amazing on stage I couldn’t help but think about all the things I wanted you to do to me tonight.”

“Yeah?” Calum breathed out, his hands squeezing Dovey’s thighs as he helped her push up the hem of the skirt she was more than likely soaking through if his leaking cock wasn’t already at fault for it, “Gonna show me all those things you were thinking of?” 

“Mhm, only have time for one of them right now though,” Dovey smirked, her hand taking his cock and stroking it a few times, listening to the soft whimpers that left Calum as her own hips rocked against his solid thigh, “Have to wait until we’re back home for the others.” 

Calum’s eyes opened enough at one point to see the steam from their act fogging up the windows, the beads of moisture dripping down their foreheads matching the ones racing down the window next to his head. Above him, Dovey looked like an angel, her closed eyes and barely opened mouth making Calum think he was the luckiest man alive. His fingers had dug into her hips, soft whimpers leaving them both with every rock of their hips and Calum wasn’t sure if he’d ever want this feeling to end. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get tired of the way Dovey felt wrapped around him. He’d happily get lost in her warmth and never find his way out again if he could, but the coil in his stomach kept stretching and stretching, threatening to snap as he listened to Dovey’s moans grow louder and louder as her hips rose and fell with every one of them. 

“Calum,” she gasped out, one of her hands finding comfort in the soft curls she’d been playing with ever since they’d grown out and coiled against his head. 

“I know, I’ve got you,” Calum choked out, his own high speeding towards him as he felt Dovey clench around him as her hips paused and her whimpers were soaked into by Calum’s skin, “Oh fuck, baby, I-”

“Calum,” Dovey whispered, her soft kisses on Calum’s skin making the blinding white stars beneath his eyelids clear slowly, “Hey, come back to me,” she mumbled, the feeling of her fingers running through his hair grounding Calum back to the backseat of his car. 

His lungs hurt, the panting breaths he was taking sounding over the muffled music playing from the radio in the front, and his vision was still blurred as he watched Dovey leaned back against his thighs, her hair tousled and her dress still rucked up over her hips. It took him a couple more breaths, the thick air coating his lungs until finally, Calum’s hand found Dovey’s in the darkness of the car and he smiled lazily. 

“You back with me, Hood?” she asked softly and smiled, the gentle squeeze she gave his hand making him nod. 

“I always come back to you,” Calum whispered, “Always.” 

join my taglist: @hoodhoran @moonlightcriess @mxgyver @calpops @karajaynetoday @notlukehemmo @calumrose @devilatmydoor @lowkeyflop  @conversecake @hemmo1996-5sosvevo @ashtonsunflower @2fangirl4u @multistann @wiiildflowerrr @himbohood @in-superbloom​ @suchalonelysunflower @killmywildflower @sebsbrokentoe @nicebasscalum @letmereadpls  @xxxlaura

[blipblooopp]

Let It Be Me

Summary: Choi San is many things. The most talented man you have ever seen. Be it on the dance floor or in front of a mic during a gig. He was the kindest person, always holding the door for the people behind him, helping the elderly carry things, even paying for strangers randomly. He got along famously with your parents and even better with your grandparents. He was charming like that, capturing the attention of anyone and everyone who even looked his way. He’s the love of your life, you’re sure of it but he’s also your best friend. Pairing: Boy Band AU!Choi San x F!Reader Words: 5.6k Genre: Angst/Smut

You’ve heard of a thing called platonic soulmates but it’s taken you years and years of watching Choi San grow to realize you weren’t. Well, you hoped you weren’t. Everything about him made your body erupt into a fire.

San looked at everything with adoration, finding all the good in life, including you. It was a double-edged sword, really. It made you feel special… important. But you could barely concentrate when his eyes were on you.

It didn’t help that he was gifted in pretty much everything; it made you nervous beyond belief. He’s pretty much perfect and as much as you wanted to be with him, you knew the odds of him liking you back were slim to none.

You’ve come to terms with it for the most part. It hurt to see him flirt with girls in front of you, hurt even worse when he started dating this awful girl named Areum. She didn’t give a fuck about him, actually. She barely responded to his calls and texts, going as far as blocking him one time. They fought nonstop. Every time you two hung out, San had a new dilemma to talk about. For some reason, San wouldn’t break up with her.

You had asked him after a night of you two getting drunk together, after another night of listening to his relationship problems. He laughed dryly, taking another sip of his beer, “I love her so much.”

Apparently, it was his “slow-motion” moment. He and his band had been wrapping up the night with their last song, soaking up every second they could have. Halfway through the song, San had noticed Areum in the front row. You were there too so you noticed the look on his face. A look you had never seen him make before. It basically tore your heart out when he told you that he couldn’t get “that beautiful girl” out of his head. She ended up becoming a dedicated face in the crowd so San asked her out.

You would’ve thought they were soulmates from the way they looked in the beginning. Lord only knows how they got to this point. How you got to this point, with San crying in your lap.

It was 10:00 pm when someone started banging on your door. You were enjoying a cup of coffee but you almost had a heart attack at that moment. You opened the door with shaking hands, hoping that whatever killer was on the side wasn’t actually a killer. Instead, you saw your best friend, with swollen red eyes, sniffling.

“Oh my god, San! You scared— what’s wrong?” You immediately dragged him in, locking the door behind you. He sniffled again as he slumped into your couch. You took a seat next to him and took his hand in yours. “Was it another fight?” You knew it wasn’t. In all the fights you had heard, San never cried.

“She was cheating on me… this whole time.” He hiccuped as he talked.

“That bitch.” You said under your breath. You held onto his hand a little tighter, trying to contain your anger.

“I went to her house tonight because she wasn’t responding to me again. I wanted to talk it out with her but she opened her front door in her underwear with some motherfucker sitting on her couch!” Although you had many words to say with Areum, you were speechless in front of San. What were you supposed to say? All you could do was scoot back on the couch and guide San's head onto a pillow in your lap.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “You can cry for as long as you want.”

And cry he did.

____

The next morning was hard. You woke up on your couch sitting up-right with a terrible case of stiff-neck. That’s not the only reason it was hard. No, it was worse seeing San still laying on your lap. He was wide-awake, dark eye bags contrasting against his face. His eyes stared deep into the ceiling.

“What’re you thinking about, Sannie?” You started to run your fingers through his hair again and watched as his eyes fluttered shut, his body instantly relaxing.

His eyes opened again, “Why didn’t she love me?” You couldn’t respond, not that he let you. “I knew we weren’t perfect, knew she wasn’t perfect… but we always made it through the end of the day. I can’t believe she would do this to me.”

“It’s her loss.” You finally said. “You don’t need her anyway. It was her decision to cheat and you had nothing to do with it.”

San didn’t say anything after that, just continued to stare at your ceiling.

___

The first few weeks were the hardest for sure. San had spent most of them at your place, barely leaving even for band practice. When he did practice with the guys he would leave early, only strumming a few chords on his guitar before deciding that it reminded him too much of Areum.

“He’s been really out of it.” Yunho, the bassist commented one time. San hadn’t even played that day. He just sat in the corner for an hour. You stayed behind for a few minutes and told San to wait in the car. You wanted to catch up with the other band members.

“Can you blame him? That bitch was… well, a bitch.” Wooyoung shot back, setting his drum sticks down.

“How has he been holding up?” Hongjoong asked.

You scoffed, “Have you seen the man? I don’t even think San’s there anymore! God, if I see her, it’s on sight!”

You did your best to help him through those weeks. You had been through a few hard breakups in the past so you understood that the early stages were the worst. You even used up all of your sick time to stay home with him. You had never seen him this gloomy. At one point, he went through five pints of ice cream in three days.

____

It took three months for San to be even remotely okay. He started going to practice more and this time, he actually played. You couldn't say you were surprised. San loved playing with the band and you knew it was probably the only thing that would bring him out of his funk.

"You look good, man!" Hongjoong slapped his hand on San's back playfully and for the first time in months, San had his usual dimpled smile.

"I feel good." He replied, setting down his guitar and taking a seat next to you on the beat-up couch. "It's thanks to you, y/n"

Your eyes widened. "Me?"

He nodded. "You stayed up with me, didn't go to work, even made me breakfast when you knew I didn't have the energy to get off your couch."

You couldn't lie; your heart was racing. All you could do was stare back into his eyes with a goofy smile painted on your face. San put his hand on your thigh, skinship being normal between you two, especially within these past months.

Your friendship remained just that, a friendship, for the next month. You were okay with this, though. At least you had a small sliver of hope now that he was single. That tiny bit of hope that he'd love you back was able to tide you over.

Until one night.

San had come over for your weekly movie nights, an event you had been doing since high school but stopped doing because his ex got jealous easily. You tried calming your nerves as you sat next to each other, his arm wrapped around you.

You were so close you could smell his cologne. It was intoxicating. Maybe it was the fact that he was newly single now, filling up your thoughts even more recently, but his entire presence was overwhelming tonight.

“You alright, beautiful?” Since San was single now, his usual playful flirty side was coming out again. Just like everything else about him, you had a love-hate relationship with it. It doesn't mean anything. You had to remind yourself. He talked like this with everyone, especially when he wanted to get a rise out of his bandmates.

You gulped when you looked up at him. How could a man have this effect on you? You would think that after years of unrequited love, you'd be able to at least contain yourself. “Yeah.”

San gave you a dimpled smile, shifting his gaze to a piece of your hair, moving it behind your ear. Your mouth parts, probably to say something but you can't be too sure right now. If someone walked in, they would think you guys are about to kiss. Maybe you are... you want to kiss him.

With your heart pounding in your ears, you slowly lean forward, keeping your eyes on his lips. They look too good not to look at but you're also scared of seeing the look in his eyes, the potential disgust that might be taking over at the thought of your lips touching his.

Everything is moving in slow motion. From your hand caressing his cheek to the moment your lips make contact. He's stiff against you and you can only imagine that it's because he's uncomfortable. You start to pull away, dreading the awkward conversation you're about to have but San is quick. His hand grips your thigh and he's kissing you back with fervor.

Your head is spinning, Is this really happening? These sparks you're feeling all over your body, does he feel the same way? You push away any thoughts you're having, trying to focus on keeping up with San. You needed to enjoy this moment. Without realizing it, you swing your leg and straddle San's lap. He groans underneath you but before you can question it, he's giving you a reassuring squeeze on your waist.

You don't want to take the initiative of going further, but man, your hands are burning to touch his bare skin. Your hands, instead, rest on his shoulders, gripping and releasing every few seconds. As if he was reading your mind, San's hands move to the hem of your shirt and for the first time, you break the kiss.

The second your shirt passes your head, San's moving to kiss your neck, occasionally sucking to leave hickies that are sure to last a whole week. You're breathless, taking this as a sign to take off San's shirt. Your hands are all over each other, San's going from your cheek to unbuttoning your jeans, your fingers feeling his abs contract under your touch.

It feels like a flash. San suddenly laying you down on your bed, both of your clothes littered behind you on the floor, his lips still on your neck. It's only when he's about to insert himself does he stop and look at you with dark eyes. He doesn't give you enough time to question it, pushing himself inside you. You both gasp at the feeling.

"Fuck, you're so tight!" He grips your hip with one hand, the other holding the headboard like his life depends on it. He feels like he'll burst any second.

You're right there with him though, the mere feelings of this moment making you sensitive. "You're just big. Holy shit!"

It takes him a second, taking a moment to give both of you a moment to adjust before he moves inside you. You can't contain the sounds coming out of you as he hits all the right spots with ease. You couldn't have pegged San to have this big of a dick, yet here he was.

Before you can realize it, your hands are finding purchase on his back and your nails are sinking into his skin. He hisses above you but his thrusts get harsher and the moaning in your ear doesn't get any quieter.

"You feel so good... so warm and tight for me." He's practically whimpering into your neck. You try to keep your cool, trying not to cum so fast but he's hitting that spot inside you with ease.

Your nails dig into him deeper, "S-san," You stutter out. "Close... so close."

"I know... but you gotta wait for me. Can you do that?" His thrusts get faster and deeper, you don't even comprehend his words properly.

"Can you do that for me, pretty girl? Be a good girl for me?" He's using both hands to clench onto the headboard now, the force making it harder to not cum. You just nod and wrap your legs around his waist. San is drilling into you with so much force and he's hoping that the bed isn't going to break. After a few more thrusts, he starts to get sloppy, and your vision's crossing.

"Alright, beautiful. Cum for me." He grunts out, trying not to cum at the feeling of you clenching around him. You finally let the waves of pleasure course through you, seeing stars. If you were lucid, you most definitely would have been embarrassed by the noises coming out of your mouth and your pussy.

With a loud sigh, San pulls out of you and releases onto your stomach. Almost immediately, he’s up and cleaning you, you’re body’s too tired to do anything but lay there. You’re surprised, because instead of leaving, San lays next to you, even going as far as pulling you close to him.

You have so much on your mind but you're too tired now.

____

This goes on for weeks. Sometimes you would hang out. Sometimes do other things. Everything happened so fast. The friendship that you held so dear had become a muddled mess of lust and confusion. You obviously still had feelings for San but you had no idea where he stood.

You'd never even talked about the first time you guys had sex. When you woke up he was gone and when you saw each other again, he acted like nothing had happened. You didn't want to be that clingy girl who expected a relationship so you never brought it up. Now you're in this endless cycle of sleeping with each other and never addressing the elephant in the room.

What didn't help was how San was acting differently. He was much more touchy with you, always having to touch you in some way whenever you were together. His hand on your thigh, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, he did it all. Before the incident, you would have considered him touchy but that's nothing compared to him now.

Your hangouts started to become more elaborate as well. You guys were actually going out to movies instead of watching Netflix at your house. Small coffee shop hangouts started becoming intimate dinners. It was like you guys were dating. These dates gave you hope that he would eventually open up and ask you out properly but you didn't want to force it out of him. So, you just decided to go with whatever he wanted.

"Let's go ice-skating." The handsome man suggested his left-hand steering and his right hand on your thigh.

"You know I can't ice-skate." You deadpan, getting distracted by your fingers playing with his.

He glances at you with a honey-sweet smile before bringing his eyes back to the road. "I can teach you, ya know."

"Please, you just want to see me fall so you can laugh at me."

"That too."

San taught you how to ice-skate for maybe ten minutes. After that, he decided that it would be best to let you learn through trial and error.

"San, I'm literally gonna fall on my face!" You cried, your legs shaking as you attempted to walk on the ice.

"You're doing great. Just try skating to me." He held out his hand for you. Every time you got even remotely close to him, however, he would slowly start backing up. You were struggling around the rink but he made sure to sprinkle in encouragements so you wouldn't be too mad at him.

Just when you thought you were doing good, you got too cocky and propelled yourself towards San, wanting so desperately to close that gap. Your feet weren't pointed straight enough causing your left skate to hit your right, tripping you onto the ice.

"Holy shit, y/n! Are you alright?" San appears in front of you with seconds. Helping you up with ease. Your knees ache and you could feel the bruise forming on your hip.

“Did you not see me eat shit?” You bark out, now gripping his arm for dead life.

“I did but it’s always polite to ask.” You slap his arm playfully as he guides you off the ice and onto the benches. “Are you actually okay?”

You shook your head and pouted like a child. San chuckled to himself, seeing right through you. Instead of saying anything, he pecked your lips innocently and took a seat next to you. It was the first time he’s kissed you in public which only confused you further. Is he doing this on purpose? You really had to ask him.

You’re too lost in your thoughts to see San staring at you. It’s not until he’s moving a piece of hair out of your face that you’re snapped out of your thoughts. You jolt slightly and hum at him in response. He just shakes his head and returns his gaze to the people skating.

It was your turn to stare at him, to memorize his features for the nth time. He’s just as beautiful as he was two seconds ago and the butterflies are still strong. You open your mouth to question him about your relationship, finally building up the courage just when…—

“San? Is that you?” You freeze. Her, you think. That manipulative bitch.

“Areum?” San stands as if he’s been caught doing something bad like a child. She offers him a warm smile, completely disregarding you as always. You feel like you did during the concert. His eyes are no longer on you… but trained on her. You feel that distance he created on the ice growing bigger and bigger.

“What’re you doing here?” The man asks, still shocked to see her.

“Ah, I was just walking around.” The nerve of this girl to act like she didn’t do anything wrong. “What’re you doing here?” Her eyes land on you but she quickly looks back at him.

You stand this time. “We’re…” Don’t say it. Don’t be petty. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “On a date.” You entwine your arm with San’s.

Areum’s lip twitches in annoyance. “Oh?” She quirks a brow and glances at San. “Is this true?”

San freaks out without thinking and shakes his arm from yours. “No!— I mean like a friendly date, sure. We’re just hanging out like old times.”

There’s your answer.

His ex smiles with victory at your defeated state. “Well, we should catch up, San. I know we ended things on a bad note but I think we should talk.”

The car ride home was awfully silent. Usually, they were filled with laughter and off-key singing but tonight, you gave San short answers in his poor attempt to talk. When you entered your apartment, you told him you were going to bed early and that he should lock up when he leaves.

Instead, you feel his warm body climb into your bed and hold you at 12 am. As always, you didn’t tell him to leave. Because, as always, you couldn’t say no to Choi San.

____

You wake up and San's not next to you but there is a text.

San : Sorry I didn't want to wake you but I left to go to practice. It'll probably end late today so if you feel up to it, come hang out. :)

Should you? Maybe it's just better if you pretend like nothing happened. Obviously, that's what he's doing. Besides, it’s not like his bandmates gave you false hope just to reject you in front of their ex. You end up going to the practice, a huge lump in your throat. If you brought up the situation, you're sure that whatever you guys had would be over the second you said anything.

Jongho, the lead singer, greets you with a smile and a nod in your direction as he warms up.

"y/n!" Wooyoung calls out, getting off of his drum stool and engulfing you in a hug.

You giggle on command, loving his enthusiasm. “Wooyoung, why do you always act like we haven’t seen each other for years!”

He smiles and whispers, “Don’t tell the guys I told you, but you’re like… our muse!”

You roll your eyes and pull away from his chest just to look at him, “I think you’re the only one crazy enough to even consider that.”

Wooyoung lets you go completely and returns to his drum set, you follow suit. “Maybe but you’ve been our number one supporter since day one! Plus you’re beautiful and beauty inspires art, does it not?”

Laughter erupts from you again at his cheesiness and your feel an arm wrap around your shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, the signature cologne giving him away.

“What’s so funny?” San’s smiling but you can tell there’s something different in his tone.

“Just exposing how important y/n is to the band.” Wooyoung sends you a playful wink, your cheeks burning slightly. San forces a laugh, something you don’t notice, before sitting you down on the couch.

After practice was over, you waited outside of the room for San so you could go back to your place. That wasn't the original plan but San insisted. The chilly air made you wrap your arms around yourself, internally scolding yourself over not bringing a jacket.

Wooyoung was the first to come out, fishing his lighter out of his pocket. He wasn't the only cigarette smoker in the group but he was definitely the one that smoked the most. He grinned at the sight of you, resting his hand in his pocket instead.

"Why're you waiting out here? It's cold as hell."

"Yeah... But I didn't want to get in your guys' way." You rubbed your hands up and down your arms trying to create heat. Wooyoung took off his jacket and wrapped it around you without hesitation. "A true gentleman." You remarked.

He put his hand on his chest, his face contorting to look hurt. "I've always been a gentleman. Even when I'm freezing my ass off."

Your eyes widened, ready to give the jacket back. "Woah there, missy. I gave it to you for a reason. We don't want our muse to die of hypothermia." The joke makes you laugh lightly. "You waiting on San?"

You nod, staring at the ground and rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “It’s been a lot of waiting recently.” You accidentally confess.

“Uh oh.” He leans against the wall. "I noticed something was different."

"What do you mean?" You hear your heartbeat through your ears and you find it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"You guys are a lot closer... You guys are best friends, sure, but the air's been different between you two. He still doesn't notice how you look at him."

You scoff, "That obvious, huh?"

"To everyone but him, it seems. Can I be honest?" Wooyoung rolls to face you. You nod, now looking at him. "Unless you tell him how you feel, you'll be doing nothing but waiting on him."

"But our friendship-"

"If you're about to tell me that it's enough for you, so help me God, y/n, I will kick your ass." You laugh for the first time since the conversation started. You understand what you have to do. You guys have already crossed so many boundaries and clearly, he feels something for you, right?

The door to the practice room swings open and this time it's Yeosang and San. San's bright smile seems to falter as his eyes instantly land on the jacket that's wrapped around you. His eyes shift between you and the drummer then he strides to you, grabbing your wrist.

"Let's go?" You don't have time to answer. San's practically ripping the jacket off of you and throwing it at Wooyoung who barely catches it. This time, you don't miss the change in his tone. He replaces Wooyoung's jacket with his hoodie, not saying a word as he puts it on you.

Just like the night before, the tension in the car is thick but unlike last night, it's you who's trying to spark a conversation. San's knuckles are turning white as he drives and it's starting to worry you. You've never seen San this upset before and you're still trying to place the reasoning. Was it jealousy?

You pull up to the house, expecting him to follow you like he always does but he doesn't. Instead, he leaves the engine running and his eyes on the street. For some reason, this sets you off. This man had the audacity to pull away from you, act like you were just a friend in front of the ex that cheated on him, but gets jealous over you casually talking to another guy?

You scoff and unbuckle your seatbelt, stepped out of the car, and slammed the door shut. San was feeling extra temperamental tonight. He couldn't understand why he felt like this either. Maybe he was looking for a fight. He turned off the engine and followed you inside. Before you could close and lock the door, he stepped into your house.

"What is your problem?" You asked venomously.

"What is your problem?"

"I didn't have any problem until you decided to get all confusing!" You dropped your tote bag on the floor, turning to face him fully.

"I'm confusing? Are kidding me?" He huffs out, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Actually, I'm not. You've been driving me nuts since we started hooking up. I'm over it!" His lip twitches into a sarcastic smile. "What the fuck was that with your ex? You completely pushed me aside. She treated you like shit, remember? She cheated, she lied, and she manipulated you. Do you want to get back to-"

"You're not my girlfriend, y/n!" He cut you off. "God, it's like you don't know your place." Tears pricked your eyes but you felt more angry than sad. Angry, you've never felt this way with San before. You're experiencing a lot of firsts tonight. San immediately realizes what he said, how hurt you were. He took a step closer to you but you put up your hands, putting up your boundaries for the first time.

"No, you're right. It's not like you hold my hand wherever we go or put your hands on my waist in public. You don't smile at me sweetly during dates. We're not completely vulnerable with each other, telling each other things we'd never breathe to others. It's not like we fuck almost every day! Do friends do what we do? Please, enlighten me. What's my place?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have-" You're full-on bawling now, sucking in breaths where you can.

"I can't believe I've loved you for so long. I've torn my heart out for you and you just... you just throw it back at me like it's nothing!" His mouth opens but nothing comes out, instead he wraps his arms around you. You react once you feel him, trying to fight him off but he's stronger, trying to calm you down by hugging you.

You're screaming, all the feelings you've held inside bursting out of you, "Why can't you let me in?" You start to pound on your chest even though you know you shouldn't. You don't even notice that he's crying too. "Why can't it be me for once? Let it be me!"

"I'm sorry," He coos. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore, your feelings making it hard to focus. San catches you though, guiding you to sit on the floor.

San does his best to understand what you're saying through your sobs. He wants to understand what he's feeling. He thought he was doing this to get over Areum but why was he doing all the other things? He could've just stuck to the bare minimum but he didn't. Better question, how had he not noticed your feelings?

San was so caught in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed you had cried yourself to sleep. He was holding your head to his chest and he sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He couldn't really relax though, his mind still processing what you had said. He carried you bridal style to your room and thanking God that you had exhausted yourself.

San tucked you in and, after some hard debating, decided to lay in bed with you. He made sure that he wasn't touching you even though he knew he was going to leave before you woke up. He sighed to himself.

Even as you slept you were beautiful and he beat himself up for only now noticing how exhausted you looked. The man never understood why he was so willing and ready to sleep with you. He could acknowledge that there was steaming sexual tension but he never thought it would get this far. Nevertheless, you guys were in this situation; the very foggy area between friends and more.

Is this how you felt, absolutely terrified? You guys certainly couldn't go back to being friends after everything that's happened between you two. San's body started to shake as he silently cried. He couldn't even comprehend how much pain he's put you through these last few months.

____

You're not surprised to find your bed empty the next day; you wouldn't be surprised if San had sent you a message ending your friendship and promptly blocking you. You stare at your ceiling with tears already prickling your eyes. You weren't going to check your phone for texts. You just went to work.

The day went by fast, your boss giving you plenty of work to distract yourself. You were doing just fine until you pulled up to your apartment to find Wooyoung waiting to knock on your door.

"Wooyoung?" The man turned around, almost like a deer in headlights.

"Oh- Hey!" He quickly put his hands in his jean pockets. You walked to your door silently, unlocking the front door and inviting him in.

“What can I help you with?” You try to be casual even though all you’re thinking about is San and how you know Wooyoung’s here to soothe whatever problem you guys are having.

“I’m gonna cut to the chase. Talk to San. It’s only been a day of you two fighting and all of us are tired of him sulking.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“He came into practice looking all down and he didn’t talk to any of us. He just went through practice barely saying ten words throughout the whole thing.”

"How do you know this has something to do with me?"

“… Do I look blind to you? Everyone knows something’s going on between you two.” Wooyoung sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Look, I don’t know what happened but I’m sure it was probably his fault. I’m not saying you should forgive him right away but just talk to him. Please?”

——

So now, here you are, outside his door. You took in a deep breath before knocking hard on his door. You couldn’t muster the courage to ask if he was home but there was no practice so you hoped for the best.

The door unlocked within a few minutes. “y/n?”

“H-Hi,” You stuttered out, feeling the weight on your shoulders get heavier. “Can I come in?”

San gestures you inside and you take a seat on his couch. There’s an awkward silence when he joins you and you can’t recall any other time it’s been like this. It was so easy to talk to San before but now you can’t even form a sentence.

“So—“

“What’d—“

You said at the same time.

“You first.” San breathed.

“I just figured we had a lot to talk about.”

"Right..." He brushed off his legs with a sigh.

"I like you, San- actually, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long and we slept together and it got messy. We've never talked about what we were after that night. You just made me a rebound and I turned the other way..."

His eyes burnt into your face and you were too scared to meet them. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put you in that kind of situation. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I didn't think about the way you were feeling."

San's warm hand grabs yours. "I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to see how you feel about me. I'm so sorry I said that you didn't know where your place was. Your place..." He takes a big deep breath, making you look at him, "Your place is right next to me. I lost you for one day and in that one day, I've realized what you really mean to me. I'm in love with you, y/n."

He places his hand on your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even notice. You're falling apart at his touch but you were so happy that he felt the same way and- Oh my god! Choi San was in love with you!

"You just said you were in love with me." You breathed, a smile breaking out on your lips.

"I did, didn't I?" He chuckles, closing the distance between your faces. Your breath hitches. "Are you going to give me a chance to love you for real this time?"

Your heart is going to burst and you don't really give it much thought.

"Yes."