#without hiding it in clothes and gender conformity and such

[dingoskidneys]

How much of the self is present in the ancestor?

[female-malice]

The breast binding trend that young women are doing now has already been done by young women 100 years ago.

Read this excerpt from this paper about qipao fashion by Adrienne Cox:

The changes in qipao fashion began with the trend of breast binding in the early 1910s. Breast binding became more popular toward the end of the Qing dynasty, especially among young female students, who sought to hide their feminine figures by binding their breasts and wearing the early qipao that was stylistically similar to their male counterpart’s changpao style.

Breast binding provided young women with a slim boyish figure and allowed them to show off a more androgynous body as they began to move into the public sphere, which allowed them to preserve a sense of modesty. By hiding their feminine figures, they were able to enter the public sphere without drawing the attention of the male gaze as sexually promiscuous women. In the late 1910s, the trend of breast binding for political reasons quickly spread around urban China, and by the 1920s women of each province sported their own versions of breast binding devices. In the north near Beijing, the laoshi moxiong or old-style breast cover was popular and bound the breasts tight to the chest. In the south the xinshi moxiong or new-style breast cover was more popular and provided a slightly looser fit. From this trend of breast binding, we can also understand how women’s outer clothing changed to fit the new style of feminine form, as qipao styles became tighter to conform to the boyish figures.

The general practice of breast binding also points toward women’s desire to take control of their bodies as they are increasingly visible in the public eye. Women chose to bind their breasts as a way to make their body more suitable to the public eye, which then allowed them to take advantage of education and job opportunities that would bring them directly within the gaze of a society that had functioned by hiding female bodies for centuries. During this time period, who was in control of women’s bodies was the serious question. The changes in both breast binding and qipao styles provided women the opportunity to enter the public sphere without drawing the criticism of conservatives who felt women should stay within their traditional gender roles at home.

By the early to mid-1920s, another movement was beginning to gain traction that completely changed the way that women would display their bodies in public, as well as how the Nationalist government would respond to women’s political needs and demands. This movement began as some urban women sought to free their bodies from the constrains of their clothing as well as the constrains of traditional gender norms. These women sought to literally free their bodies from the historical bindings that had deformed women’s bodies. In this movement, breast binding became closely linked with rhetoric surrounding foot binding, which linked it to the feudal and restrictive past. Feminists across China called this the ‘natural curves’ movement, and it sought to completely eradicate breast binding and focused on women’s physical health. The movement was later supported by the Nationalist government after 1927, and women’s health was encouraged for the benefit of the state—healthy women could produce healthy children—but the way women dressed and presented their healthy bodies came under attack from the Nationalist government for being too provocative.

When the ‘natural curves’ movement began, the women involved focused primarily on celebrating women’s ‘natural’ curves and bringing the ‘natural’ female form more fully into the public eye. This would both literally free women from hiding their figures using harmful tactics such as breast binding, as well as figuratively freeing women from the traditional expectations that drove women to hide themselves from men. In the past, women had either been in the home or so overburdened by loose layered clothing that the physical form was ultimately hidden away from sight. The focus of the natural curves movement quickly became the breasts, hips, and legs of women, and women’s magazines such as Linglong devoted centerspreads and articles to showing off and celebrating the physical health of athletic women. In 1933, the editors of Linglong even published an entire issue dedicated to showing healthy and athletic women. Linglong was largely influenced by the readers, and it wasn’t uncommon for a reader’s letter or personal article to be published in the magazine. This is important to note, because the 1933 sports issue that showed women engaged in sports also included images of healthy young children and mothers holding their babies, which shows that women around China supported the movement for a variety of reasons.

The emphasis on healthy and robust bodies became the forefront of the natural curves movement, and this focus was embodied in the two keywords of the movement, ziran mei and jian mei which mean ‘natural beauty’ and ‘healthy beauty.’ Under the principles of ziran mei and jian mei, Chinese women began to abandon their xiongyi entirely to show off the full shape of their breasts. Others began to adopt the western style brassieres, which would cover the breasts without pushing them into the chest. Politically active women throughout urban China could decide how they wanted to express their liberation simply by how they chose to present their bodies, and qipao styles were changed once again, this time to show off women’s full figures. Once again, the qipao was used as a way to show the political stance of the women wearing them.

In the late 1920s the Nationalist government, as well as some conservative civilians supported ‘natural breasts’ and fashion that followed not out of a desire to liberate women, but out of concern for their reproductive health and creating a clear divide between genders. A popular magazine called The Women’s Monthly published an article that openly admonished young women who still bound their breasts, and other women’s magazines published articles encouraging women to abandon their old binders in favor of the western bra, that would support the breasts without constraining them. Breast binding was said to be a major detriment to a woman’s ability to raise her child, as it was widely accepted that breast binding caused women to be unable to produce milk. These groups linked what was supposed to be a form of female liberation back to the traditional gender roles that many women were trying to escape.

–

First there's a breast binding trend among young women who want to avoid being sexualized by male peers.

Then there's a feminist rejection of this trend as feminists promote the importance of women's health and fitness.

And finally, conservatives co-opt the feminist rejection and twist it into a promotion of traditional reproductive duties.

All of this happened 100 years ago.

And all of it is happening again today.

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyt bbut a Karen makes their S/O cry? :0

It's the readers first ever encounter with one in the wild and at first Y/N just,,, tries to ignore the woman/leave but the Karen does the usual of not letting em leave and then Y/N gets overwhelmed and starts crying?-

BAHAHHAAB I LOVE FUCKING WRITINF ABOUT KARENS I CANNOT LMFAOOOOOO ; thank you for the request lol ; I got a random strike of writers block halfway through and its very obvious I'm sorry

MCYT ; wild karen encounter

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, tubbo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, iterations of homophobia/transphobia & fatphobia, Karen activity, reader is described as nonbinary

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you two went different ways while clothes shopping and you were looking at more fem/masc (whichever doesn't conform with your sex) clothing

you felt someone glaring daggers at you so you glanced up and saw some random ass woman staring at you, accompanied by her 13ish year old son

she started making remarks about how you shouldn't be looking at those clothes and it's not "modest" for a little young man/woman like you

like mf you're nonbinary huh

you try to ignore her, meanwhile her son looks SO uncomfortable and wants to very obviously leave

she starts recording you out of no where to call you slurs and the sons just like "mom stop" and of course she doesn't

you end up crying and trying to hide it while you defend yourself but you get quickly overstimulated and flustered

the yelling caught Tommy's attention so he quickly walks over like "woah, woah, woah, what's going on?"

and she starts SCREAMING at poor Tommy about you

he looks at you literally wiping your tears while she's STILL recording it and he just peacefully flames her ass

"it doesn't matter what the hell they wear, clothes don't have gender and I could care less about what my partner buys and wears and how they express themselves. go post that to Facebook and look like a fuckin' idiot."

he pulls you away to the changing rooms so you can talk in private and eventually try on the clothes you were looking for

while he was going that he got a hold of a nearby security officer and told them about the situation since you'd both been illegally recorded on the premises of the store

he didn't wanna press charges for you or anything but at least wanted the woman escorted out to look more like a dumbass, considering the security guard had to call the police because what she did was a crime

couple days later you found the video and bodycam footage of the woman being detained and arrested for resisting arrest and recording someone without consent on private property, which is marked as a felony where you live

live laugh love Tommy bc everyone in the video description was hyping him up and saying how bad they felt for you and even the son 🫶

TUBBO

you were out looking for an outfit for the streamer awards

you were trying on a suit/dress (whichever conforms with your sex) and you spun around in front of him while he was clapping

then some fuckin asshole dude shouts a bunch of slurs at you and tells you you're going to hell??

he instantly turns around and shouts like "can you fucking stop? mind your own business, you dick!"

you were just so in shock and didn't know what to do that you started tearing up a bit in front of him and niki

tubbo sits there and argues with the guy until he's escorted out by staff, informed by niki who quickly went to go get someone and record for proof if the situation escalated

once the man is escorted out, he quickly wraps you in a hug and apologizes for getting loud, thinking he was the one to scare you to tears

compliments you and hypes you up after that and reassures you that the guy was just being a dick to get a reaction out of you

"you look amazing, don't worry, you're absolutely gorgeous in that outfit"

RANBOO

dude you can't even go grocery shopping without people bitching about you guys

you were just trying to pick out some chips and this lady walks past with a scoff

ran quickly turns around like, "Sorry, can we help you?"

she quickly starts yelling about how you gay people are all going to hell and shit

ranboo quickly spits back but you get overstimulated and really take it to heart and you tear up a bit

the lady notices and points it out

she then follows you around the store, yelling at you and shit while they're on the phone dialing the non emergency police line because wtf is wrong w this lady???

before you're questioned and after she's detained, you guys stand alone and try to calm yourself down because you were just getting really stressed about it because wtf do you even do in that situation

gives you a big hug and reassures you that it's okay to cry

he's generally just proud of you in general for being able to hold yourself together for the most part

FREDDIE BADLINU

you two were going out for a little movie date, and dressed in tuxedos to watch Saw X

some dumbass dude was making snarky comments to his wife about you two considering you were holding hands while ordering snacks

Freddie turns around, having heard the guy talking about you thinking he dropped something "can I help you?" He asks in the nicest tone possible

the man and his wife both start making nasty comments about "this generation going to hell" and how you're brainwashing Freddie or something???

you almost immediately start crying because you're trying to ignore it and talk to the girl behind the counter filling your popcorn bucket who doesn't know what to do

she quickly pushes the security button under the counter because she can see your distress and how Freddie was just like stunned as he looked between the couple and you cause like wth

once they're escorted out you're the first in the theater so you guys sit there and talk it all out because you got really overwhelmed

he gives you a hug and reassures you that you did nothing wrong and you're gonna enjoy the movie

the dude had a warrant out for his arrest for not paying child support anyways L

NIKI NIHACHU

you two were out on a walk in a park holding hands and shit and passed this little family down by the creek

the mom just goes full fucking demon mode and starts recording you guys and shouting at you

niki quickly retaliated with a "leave us alone!" before walking off

you were visibly pretty shaken but she reassures you everything is okay and she probably wasn't even recording

she ends up finding the video a few days later

thankfully all the comments were supporting you two and flaming the lady's ass lmao

QUACKITY

you guys were out doing stuff (getting shit at home depot for quackitys new house and peojects) and some Karen was judging your abilities to handy-man basically

"actually, my partner is the best handyman I know! so shut the fuck up"

the Karen immediately goes to the front to get a manager or some shit

meanwhile yall quickly checkout and leave

while leaving you see her getting detained for resisting an officer with violence and threatening an officer 🥰

that becomes a story you tell at every single "family reunion" (meetup with friends)

he still boasts about yelling at someone like that

FOOLISH GAMERS

you guys were out getting snacks for a movie night with friends that were staying over

some Karen made a comment how you needed to go on a diet or some shit since you were the one carrying the basket full of unhealthy snacks

foolish quickly whips around and flames her ass

you just kinda stand there like "wtf"

foolish slings an arm around your shoulders and leads you away since she wouldn't stop blabbering and was threatening to call the cops for some reason

back in the car he reassures you that you do not need to go on a diet and you don't need to listen to the lady whatsoever

movie night was 10/10 you watched Barbie & roasted Saltburn bc that movie wasn't good like at all

[johannestevans]

Hey, i just read ur first Finding Ur Personal Style post (the shape & silhouette one) and wanted to say i really liked it and how you structured it to rly invite oneself to question not just what looks “good” but what one enjoys and feels confident in. as a person who’s always been on the bigger side, it’s really lovely to see, esp bc im currently trying to more firmly develop my own sense of style.

so yeah, im excited to read the other parts and wanted to give a quick shout of appreciation to u for formulating these posts!

Finding Your Style, Part I: Shape & Silhouette (x)

I'm so glad, thank you so much for reaching out and letting me know!

I'm very aware that as a very slim white guy with an hourglass figure who passes as a man without issue, it's often easier for me to buy clothes that fit with what I want and the figure that I enjoy cutting, but also people are a lot more open with praise for me because I'm a slim, conventionally attractive white guy that can be gender nonconforming and still "pass" as male.

Part of the reason I look so good is I have a particular style that I want and I go for it, and I know how to make a cohesive outfit, but it took me time and study to build those skills, and they were aided by people fully supporting the ways in which I experimented.

Most people have a lot of bigotry they need to get over when it comes to people's clothes and outfits - not just around people's size, whether being fatter or broader, bigger, etc, or other visible aspects such as people's disability, skin colour, race, gender and perceived gender, and so forth.

That comes across in how style guides are written, often with a line of desiring that certain people should hide their bodies or dress themselves down more, and it comes across in how open people are with praise for people's outfits and bodies themselves as well. It's hard to experiment with this stuff without feeling like people are supporting you in that, without feeling like you're not just "allowed" to but like it's good and fun to do so, and it's hard to know where to start with that, you know?

I shop a lot in vintage shops with my boyfriends and with friends who are much bigger than I am or who have very different desires for their figures or style than I would or I do, and I know from working with some of them that like...

Without having someone ask them the questions, it's hard to start, which is why this series of guides is going to be about how to settle on these potential questions and dig into the details that you don't necessarily know how to look for until someone teaches you they're there.

With cooking and with food, you're taught from a very young age that there are different tastes - salty, sweet, umami, sour, and bitter - and you're not taught that one of these is good or better or only acceptable compared to the others, and you're taught about the ways these tastes interact with and complement one another.

You don't necessarily get taught to develop that same sense of tastes with style, much of the time. You might get taught some styles "look good" or that some are cringe, and sometimes this will be based along the lines of class indicators and commercialism - these are expensive clothes, or look expensive; these look cheap. These look slutty, these look tasteful. These look "slimming", or these bulk you up.

None of these descriptors describe the clothes. They almost entirely describe people's ("society"'s) potential reaction or relationship with the clothes or styles you might favour, because they're about like... what people will like, or if they'll think of you as professional or trustworthy as a consumer or employee or sexual partner, etc. None of that's about like, your actual personality, but about conformity.

Even terms like "cozy" or "utilitarian" have become appropriated for commercial reasons, to the extent that they indicate a certain buying class, you know?

And the thing about all of those styles is that they're often applied to people's bodies as much as they are the actual clothes - the same clothes on one body might be praised, and then heavily policed or even abused on another. The personality you have and your manner of expression is less relevant than the desire you should conform.

So yeah, this is important for me!

I feel very strongly about my personal style as someone who's very much a dandy and enjoys my combination of period styles, and I want people to be able to play with the same tool set and seek out things that make them feel as joyful about how they dress and style themselves as I feel about mine, regardless of their own bodies or what people have said to them or expressed to them in the past!

And to feel like... the important thing for your style is you rather than a nebulous set of approvals people or groups might or might not have of you.

I'm glad it's helpful, Anon, and I hope the next few guides are useful as primers too. <3

[pheonixrainbow15]

LUZ'S OUTFITS

It's 1:00 am. I am still thinking. Why not?

I really like how nearly all her outfits represent where she is emotionally. By that I mean that her wardrobe changes as she realizes her world is changing. And because I like writing something that drags on, why not analyze Luz's closet of clothing?

Because Luz is a fashion icon.

First off, you can't talk about Luz's wardrobe without mentioning the color purple. Because it's the color that shows up frequently in most of her outfits. I'm gonna base some things off of the first thing that shows up on google:

She showed up to the demon realm in purple, alongside neutral colors. Also the bi flag features the color purple and she's canonically bisexual.

But the main thing that purple represents is Luz. All the characters can be experimenting with different colors, But Luz is the one who wears purple. Not pinkish lavender Amity, not the Collector's shades(might circle back). Purple.

For luz's default clothing that we see in most episodes: it's jean shorts over leggings, a short-sleeved crop top that is half white/half purple, and plain-white shoes.

Very basic, very standard. Kind of like a blank slate. People criticized that it didn't go with her "Us weirdos have to stick together" message. Personally, I think it reflects a standard 14 y/o's casual wear. Who had their own unique style at 14?

This is what she wore at the beginning, when her mom decided to send her to a camp she didn't wanna go to.

Figuratively, she didn't want to go to the camp because she thought it was going to change who she was, when really she doesn't know who she is outside of the weirdness bit. So she spends most of her time safely in The Owl House Comfort Zone wearing a very neutral color palette. Also a stripe of purple because it matches Azura's outfit in the books, so it also shows the influence Azura has on Luz, at least in this season and so.

Literally, She knows she's gonna spend an unknown amount of time inside a bus so she's not gonna wear anything crazy.

For Luz's school outfit: She dawns a black hoodie and top, has red/blue leggings, green/purple sleeves, and her standard white shoes.

This uniform makes Luz stand out from other students in the Hexside setting. The multiple colors differentiate her from her single-track peers. Especially since each color has a lighter half on each limb. And the wardrobe is a representation of going against the norms of school system.l

A very important thing to note about Luz's s1 outfits is how they tend have colors that pop out, such as purple and maybe pink or blue, combined with black and white. The bisexual colors are the ones that reflect how she's open to others and her very bubbly personality.

But the black and white colors are weird though. Since Black and white are associated with maturity and professionalism, I would assume it reflects the part of her character that knows when to be assertive. And maybe even tie it as a comfort zone. Go-to comfortable clothing for when you want to blend in.

Time for angst with one of her more popular outfits: The GROM OUTFIT. She has a white button-down under a black blazer with purple accents, purple leggings, brown boots, and a pink tutu skirt. Finally, she pulls her hair back to be ready for grom.

This is another outfit that stands out mainly because of the traditionally male and traditionally female parts of the outfit clashing together into one genderless masterpiece, showing that luz is GNC(gender non-conforming). And because this is one of the most well known episodes of TOH, this is one of her more recognizable outfits.

I want to talk about the blazer for a moment though. Luz's conflict in this episode is about her deep fear of how her mom will react when she finds out about what she's been up to, and it has been affecting her texts back to her mom. I'll circle back on this later but, the long sleeved blazer is kind of a metaphorical tarp that covers and hides all of those worries from others. She never opens up to anyone about her fear throughout the episode, nor does she take off the jacket at any point. How did you dance in a fucking blazer

One more note for her hair: She's pushed it back twice in the show. Once in this episode, twice when she has to get Amity's job back. She does it when she needs to be strong or brave for what she's about to get into. Like, emotional armor. Not for literal protection but to protect herself. Also purple.

SPEAKING OF PROTECTING YOURSELF-

*trumpets* THE CLOAK MADE OF MAGIC SPAGHETTI.

It's her normal outfit + a purple cloak. It has a darker purple color on the outside, and a lighter purple under. With a yellow/gold button to keep it around her neck.

The darker color on the outside is just for edginess and to cloak herself at when being stealthy. The lighter under color is to still give the color of the crop top, bringing back the pop hidden by the darker color. This could represent how she pushing her normal demeanor aside to become more mature and serious. That could be a stretch though

In the show, It literally protects her from danger with magic. It was made and gifted to her by Eda, reinforcing how much Eda cares for Luz. It is a literal symbol of protection. Until-

This is the last time we see her in her purple cape. In the mid season 2 finale. I can't tell if it's burnt off or disintegrated or something, but its definitely ruined. It's soaked in dark green, has holes in it, and has sharp tears on the bottom.

In season 2, the story gets higher stakes and it's a slow process for Luz to fully learn all of them. It's also the season where she has to look at herself and think about who she wants to be. She has a lot of things to process this season and cannot process any of it.

This is the start of a more cold and isolated(ish) Luz for the next few episodes. She doesn't think her mom will understand her side of the story, she doesn't immediately tell Eda and king about the promise, she doesn't immediately tell people about the things that are bothering her.

For the next episodes afterwards, AKA season 2B, she wears little to no purple in her outfits. She isn't the Luz that was learning magic for fun and preaching weirdness and not fitting the norm. She's now a Luz that has to sort out all the thoughts and obstacles in her mind in order to move forward and shit but she distracts herself with real problems to focus on solving in order to avoid dealing with her pain because the brain will do anything to avoid pain and she doesn't have time to focus on consistency with her clothing.

All this to say that mid-way through the series, she changes.

[they-planet404]

so i’ve heard some people asking (both to me and online) why trans people have to change our bodies, why we can’t be happy with what we were born with. it’s usually followed by “it’s what god gave you” or “since genitals aren’t gender according to you”, and i wanna take a wee moment to talk about my side of it.

i was happy with my body. i enjoyed wearing outfits that emphasised my chest and waist, i thought i looked hot as and i was comfortable with that. at the same time, i kept being misgendered. strangers would refer to me as “lady” taking one look at me, even people i had introduced myself as using they/he would use she pronouns for me. it was never anyone’s first guess that i might not be a girl.

i was asking why? i do my masculine makeup everyday, i wear my pronoun pins, i know they’ll asssume i’m a girl from my chest but why is there never a split second of hesitation? even from the people i’ve told?

whenever i asked this question i was told multiple times over. no one would see me as nonbinary if i still looked like a girl. no one would view me as who i am unless i conformed to what they expected me to be. and that was when i started hating my body. buying binders and wearing them for 10+ hours because i couldn’t go to university without it. wearing clothes purely from the male section so i could maybe hide my curves. cutting my hair down to a masculine style instead of the shoulder length one i loved to play with and style. i haven’t put makeup on in months, when taking that time to do some eyeliner, or draw some stars next to my eyes, was what gave me the confidence to leave the house.

the outfits that i used to love wearing, that brought me joy and confidence, sit in my cupboard gathering dust. i keep them, hoping one day i can wear them again, but can’t help but reach for the same “masculine” fits every time i need.

it wasn’t that i wanted to change every part of my body. i was learning to love who i was. i was using my confidence in my gender identity to build a confidence in my appearance i never had when i was using she/her. but when everyone is telling you the only way to be seen as the person you are, the person you love, you have to change lego you are” to fit with who they think you should be.

tldr; you can’t demand nonbinary and trans people conform to your ideas of what gender should look like, then ask why we’re changing our bodies so “dangerously”.

[dreamingxinxthexrain]

It's completely okay if you don't fit into the category of "ordinary girls/women" and have interests that defy gender stereotypes.

However, some women in their 20s and 30s behave like preteens, desperately seeking the title of "I'm not like other girls."

While they claim to support women, their actions speak otherwise. Instead of uplifting and empowering others, they choose to criticize and hate those who live a different lifestyle.

It's ridiculous how some women criticize others who choose to be stay-at-home mothers. They constantly bring up negative scenarios and label them as unintelligent.

Don't fancy being a mother? Not interested in being a traditional wife? Awesome! You're under no obligation to be either! However, it's worth acknowledging that some women do have a singular goal in life: to become a mother, and that's completely acceptable as well!

It's so silly how some women criticize other women who wear makeup with the whole "I'm not like other girls" mentality. Makeup isn't just about hiding imperfections. Who says you need to impress anyone? Sometimes, all you need is a dash of your favorite sparkly eyeshadow to brighten up your day. It's not about trying to please others, but rather embracing your own unique beauty and enjoying the little things that make you happy.

Not a fan of makeup? No worries! You have the freedom to skip buying it and avoid wearing it altogether. In fact, why not take a break from the online world and step outside? You'll be surprised to find that many women embrace their natural beauty without relying on heavy makeup like those beauty gurus you see online.

Yes, some women embrace the "girly girl stereotype." But let's remember, there are women out there who genuinely adore dresses, cooking, baking, the color pink, cute things, cute clothes, and cute nails. It's perfectly okay for them to love looking feminine!

Hey, here's a little secret for you: you don't have to conform to feminine stereotypes if they don't resonate with you. It's completely fine to have different interests and hobbies that align with your own unique personality.

Many women have formed incredible connections with the men who hold a significant place in their lives. Whether it's their fathers, brothers, or husbands, these women cherish and respect them deeply.

It's absolutely insane how certain women have the nerve to claim that "you're nothing more than a sexual object for your husband," "men are incapable of loving women," "all men, including your own family members, are misogynistic," or even go as far as saying "kill all men"... darling, you're passing judgment on someone you don't even know. Yes, there are some men who can be terrible, but let's not forget that there are also some women who can be just as awful.

Ultimately, it all comes down to the kind of person you are. Your character and values define who you are, not your gender.

Sure, I've been guilty of speaking negatively about individuals with different life goals, but I was 10, 11, 12 years old... you are in your 20s, 30s and even 40s it's time to mature and leave that behavior behind.

It's time for women to practice what they preach and abandon hypocrisy. Rather than using the excuse of "wanting to help women," let's focus on understanding and accepting each other's choices. You're giving a negative connotation to the phrase "I'm not like other girls" with your offensive behavior.

[njavj]

okay well i am inspired by shanspearse' recent videoessay. but i have a thought.

the mistresses do represent girlhood and womanhood.

nina overcame patriarchal dominance, ruling over the town and her husband. i think her possessing victor is a great metaphor for that: she speaks from a man's body, while still establishing that it's her. the patriarchy serves her, and she uses it as she pleases.

victoria is the "mother" archetype. she is caring, she looks after her people, she even sews! and while her marriage is very loving, she doesn't do anything to stop her husband from exploiting the kin. on the surface she is pure, light and warm, not opposing the man of the family, she even embodies the essence of angels, having "wings", as capella put it. under all of that, though, she is controlling and two-faced: despite the kin also being her people, and the fact that Vlad would definitely listen to her, she makes a conscious decision to do nothing.

katerina is a "failed" woman (lol). she can't bear a child, she lives separately from her husband, spending her time with morphine and false visions. when the town goes into quarantine, she speaks words of encouragement only to herself; she doesn't want to be saved; she is selfish. she takes in clara only to use her in her interests, and manipulates her before kicking her out. she is a woman who loves herself, even though she destroys her own body and psyche from within. she doesn't care for patriarchy, having only her own agenda.

then comes the next generation, representing girlhood and transgression of the gender roles. the most obvious representative of this is clara: she is boyish, wearing her hair short or shaving it off, hiding under a hat, wearing baggy clothes and diving into garbage. she is almost androgynous, fitting of a saint, behaving like a genderless being, chaotic and mysterious. she doesn't associate herself with traditionally feminine hobbies, manners and dresses, and she doesn't show any interest in getting a man.

despite being the most seemingly traditional out of the young mistresses, capella still evolves outside her gender. yes, she is kind, merciful and caring, but these traits upon closer inspection appear genderless on her, and there is much more to her than feminine piety. her outfit in p2 references a military general's uniform, her hair is cut into a bob. she actively participates in her family's internal decisions, she leads the children of the town without separating the kin, she is ambitious and longing to take her mother's role. yes, she sews, but only for show, and she is still very different from victoria, being more genuine and upfront. in regards to her relationship in men, she plans to marry caspar out of pure convenience, looking for more control over the town and it's faster evolution. this really contrasts the previous mistresses marriages, as they embody pure love and service to each other lasting longer than a lifetime.

and maria may be the most gender non-conforming out of the group, actively rejecting her role as a woman. she believes herself to be much more powerful than any man, shrugging off artemy and establishing control over daniil. even though she claims to be in love with dankovsky, she still doesn't want to marry, especially the smaller vlad, who would be seen as the more powerful one by society. she disobeys her father after getting out of her guilded cage of a home. her very motive is escaping and denying being controlled by anyone else. anyways maria is a femcel 🥰

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics with a trans character as requested in this ask. You can find my other fic recs here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! Happy reading!

Larry

🏳️‍⚧️ You Make Lovin' Fun by @homosociallyyours

(E, 109k, trans Zayn, non-binary OC) Harry is a 28 year old travel writer at a gay magazine who gets the assignment to go a lesbian cruise. 

🏳️‍⚧️ as the winter to foul weather by benzos / @churchrat

(M, 45k, trans Louis) An unplanned pregnancy throws a spanner into Harry and Louis' relationship. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

🏳️‍⚧️ oh we're in love aren't we by delsicle / @eeveelou

(M, 20k, trans Harry) a soft 19/19 university AU in which Harry is getting a fresh start, Louis isn’t subtle, no one does their homework and 3 AM is an excellent time to fall in love.

🏳️‍⚧️ I Wanna Be Alright With My Baby Tonight by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit

(M, 18k, trans Harry, trans Louis) Harry Styles' university football team (Go Queers!) is on a losing streak, and so is his love life. Louis Tomlinson—a fellow trans man and the team's new co-captain—might just be able to help with both.

🏳️‍⚧️ We're Not Who We Used To Be by @jaerie

(E, 7k, trans Harry) Louis comes back to his childhood home and sees an old friend who has changed quite a lot since the last time they saw each other.

🏳️‍⚧️ Her by @jaerie

(E, 7k, trans Harry) When Harry gets home, she can finally be who she wants to be. Letting someone else in always feels like a distant daydream to her... until it suddently isn't.

🏳️‍⚧️ Fit For A King by @homosociallyyours

(G, 5k, trans Louis, trans Harry) the euphoric feeling of a trans person, outside of their parents’ transphobic household, finally being able to buy clothes that fit them just right, without having to worry about needing to be gender-conforming at home anymore

🏳️‍⚧️ venus as a boy by docklands / @hershelsue

(E, 4k, trans Harry) When Harry goes to a friend's movie night, the last thing she expects is to meet an enigmatic and handsome stranger who sweeps her off her feet. 

🏳️‍⚧️ We Put Our Love First by MoreThanTonight

(E, 4k, trans Harry) Harry is a trans woman. Louis is asexual. They are happily in love. A story about discovering yourself in the safety of the arms of your loved one.

🏳️‍⚧️ He Will Be Loved by @sunflowerstyles

(G, 3k, trans Louis) The confession nagging in Louis’ head surely wasn’t something Harry was ready to hear, but Louis felt utterly consumed with the heavy weight of guilt from hiding such a huge part of himself from Harry. 

🏳️‍⚧️ lay me by your side by @stylesthebrave

(T, 2k, trans Harry) Early into his transition, Harry struggles with gender dysphoria. Louis is always by his side.

🏳️‍⚧️ the pinker, the bluer by docklands / @hershelsue

(M, 1k, trans Harry) Harry comes out as a trans guy during the pandemic.

🏳️‍⚧️ hold on to me (i'm a little unsteady) by @28finelines

(G, 1k, trans Harry) harry has a migraine; louis takes care of her

Rare Pairs

🏳️‍⚧️ i simply want to be sure by reachthetree

(T, 15k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) AU where Louis is a trans and ace tattoo artist who gives Nick his first tattoo. Featuring lots of emojis and a happy ending.

🏳️‍⚧️ Tommo's Guide To Blagging by Blackmustache

(T, 3k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Louis is famous on The Internet; he's a YouTuber, to be more specific. When he films a video that both makes his life complete AND goes viral, Nick gets obsessed and Louis gets invited onto the Radio One Breakfast Show.

🏳️‍⚧️ nothing but dreams inside by 1000_directions 

(M, 2k, Niall/Louis) Louis Tomlinson doesn’t become the Spider-Lad until he’s fifteen, but he’s always been a boy.

[living-history-lesson]

So I had some thoughts about my PCOS and wanted to ramble. I'll be talking about it below, so a quick warning for discussion of menstruation and reproductive health below

So I grew up with PCOS running in the family. My mom has it, her mom has it, and probably others. I knew before I had my first period that I'd probably have it. Ofc like I didn't know I would for sure, but I kind of just assumed based on the trend yk? My mom didn't hide that she shaved, and she was open about it. My mom has always been open about periods (both with me and my dad) and it makes things a lot less awkward. (She's going through perimenopause rn and has been talking with me about it. And that sounds miserable but that's a side tangent). While my mom is open about her PCOS with family she also does her best to shave and conform outside the family.

So I knew it was coming. I never had regular cycles and started growing face and chest hair some time as a teen. But to me this was all normal. Which. Like it is. It very much is normal. PCOS in my opinion is pretty normal. It's not rare and even if it were, it's still my normal.

As a trans man (though I hadn't figured out my gender at the time) my hirsuitism gives me euphoria, and having less periods just meant less awkward bathroom trips and bloody clothing. As such,I didn't talk to my PCP about my symptoms until I went over a year without a real period. And even then I probably wouldn't if I hadn't been in an anatomy type class where I learned how important menstruation was. I got tested to rule other things out, but the results made it even more obvious than it was and I started using the pill based cycle control.

It's going having PCOS on my chart so i can have my care given correctly. But I never felt like a disorder to me. Like I said it was my normal. My EDS is my normal but it causes me enough difficulty that I can see why it's a disorder/disability. My autism is my normal, but it too feels like a disorder/disability in how difficult it can make my life. But as someone who hasnt yet had complications for me PCOS, it doesn't feel like a disorder or a condition. At least not yet.

Idk. I just wanted to say "PCOS is normal" or at least "PCOS is my normal"

Not that the word normal means much but hey

Edit: this isn't to say people with PCOS can't see it as a disorder/disability/etc or they have to see it as normal. How you view yourself is up to you!

[avatarofacedia]

I Want to be Comfortable

I have heard many times that living my life as a trans person; I am asking for it. I am asking to be verbally assaulted in public. I am asking to be physically assaulted in public. I am asking to be murdered. Am I?

Does wearing clothes I feel most comfortable in mean I want to be beat? Does using a name that reflects who I am mean I want to be killed? Am I asking for it? Or am I just alive, living? For what reason should I hide? Why must I hold shame over who I am? Why shouldn't I exist as do others? Why would I hide? I feel no shame in who I am. No regret. No hesitation.

Am I asking for it?

I can tell you what I am asking. Not happiness. Not for your kids to be trans. Not for you to be trans. Not for gender to be eradicated. I love being a man.

I am asking for comfort in a body that has never brought me peace. I want to be able to leave my house on a whim and not need to get dressed first. I want to walk freely without being hunched over. I want to be able to sit without the discomfort. I want to be able to lie on my side without misery. I want to wake up without feeling like peeling my skin off with a vegetable peeler. I want to be able to speak without whispering. I want to be heard. Not your idea of me. Not her. But him. Me. Does my pursuit to comfort condone my mistreatment? My rape? My murder?

I certainly did not ask for this. An instinct as old as time. Oft erased. Ignored. But very real. I am not a parade. I am human.

I am sorry if other's peace brings you such discomfort. I implore you to start living for yourself and stop seeking comfort in the conformity of others or conformity of yourself.

[chaos-in-one]

I wish the experience of being socialized in an a-typical way gender wise was talked about more As in being socialized different from how girls or boys are stereotypically socialized based on gender, because how you’re viewed is different

Anyways I actually was raised with this experience. For one, my mother was a very pro feminist woman who never really pushed me to conform to gender roles for my agab as a child. There where a few family members who still did push that, but, honestly, the ones that did my mother very rarely let me contact, I’d see them once a year at most.

And socially I was always perceived in a very mixed way. Throughout my life, even going back to childhood, I always got mixed assumptions about what my gender was. And so I got very mixed treatment as a result. Including up until now, it’s always a coin toss when I’m around someone new to whether or not I get assumed to be a man or woman. And it doesn’t even matter how I present either, never really has. I’ve been assumed to be a guy wearing a full face of makeup, a skirt and heels and nail polish. I’ve been assumed a guy during times I had really long hair. I’ve been assumed a guy wearing dresses. I’ve also been assumed a girl while wearing very masculine clothes, when I had very short hair, etc. Hell I’ve even gotten mixed assumptions on my gender while wearing a whole ass swimsuit. And swimsuits make it hella hard to hide certain sex specific features.

All this without any surgery, or hormone treatment, or voice training, or any of that shit. It’s been this way pretty much as long as I can remember. I lost track of the amount of times I’ve overheard people arguing about what’s in my pants (which is gross and I hate it, but it’s true). This is just how I’ve lived my life. I won’t claim I didn’t receive *any* socialization that was typical of my agab, just that, in certain aspects, my experience is simply different from what is typical.

I really wished it was talked about more often is all. Because there are people who are naturally androgynous, and how many of us are treated socially is different from people who are raised almost always being assumed to be one gender. I see a lot of talk about the differences between how people assumed  to be men are treated vs people assumed to be women, and I think, honestly, acknowledging people who have lived a long time being assumed both ways would be valuable in that discussion, and the discussion of the sexism that the differences show.

[flameultra04]

OKAY it’s time for me to talk about my TriForce Heroes, or the Tried Forks, as I occasionally call them. Warning, because I LOVE to ramble about them and their backstories. First of all, art I made since it’s their one year anniversary today.

Okay BUT ANYWAY. I will talk about them because I really haven’t expanded on them here.

- Note: All of them use he/him pronouns

The Green Hero - Link “Sage”

- Full name is Link “Sage” Bryn

- Hyrule’s youngest knight and youngest Sword Master. Of course, he’s the “Hero of Hyrule”, the same hero who saved both Hyrule and Lorule, now living in Hytopia under a different identity, two years after he mysteriously vanished from Hyrule, and has yet to be found. In truth, he decided to distance himself from home because of reasons he doesn’t usually talk about. Mainly concerning his own mental health. He went to quite lengths to hide away, changing his appearance, dyeing his hair blond and wearing different clothes. He also got the name “Sage” only after coming to Hytopia, taking it from the Seven Sages. He stumbled into Hytopia months after Styla’s cursing, eventually registering as their third hero despite not originally wanting to. He ultimately didn’t want to turn his back on Hytopia’s drab and dreary state. He’s a very skilled swordfighter and blacksmith, acting as the team’s courageous bridge and motivation. Despite the brave exterior, he’s not without fears, such as troubles with his previous time as the Hero of Hyrule, though they’ve gotten better with opening up to his team, but there’s the fear that his teammates could be hurt or worse on his watch, and even little things freak him out like rats and paintings. Despite this, he tries to be optimistic when he can, and he’s a good-hearted soul. Speaking of his teammates…

- Grayromantic/Unlabled

The Blue Hero - Royce “Navy”

- Full name is Royce “Navy” Ivan Fletcher

- A young Labrynnan noble who grew bored with his life. He had grown up very shy and sheltered from the outside world, which only made him more curious about it. He realized that he wanted more out of his life, wanted an escape from family, and wanted to be known for things he did, rather than the family he was born into, which is why he rarely ever talks about his family and never mentions what surname he belongs to. He decided to travel to Hytopia not long after Styla was cursed, and arrived around a week before Sage did, becoming the second registered hero. The only reason he goes by “Navy” is for the sake of names fitting with the team. Literally he just takes it from the color. He somewhat idolizes the other two at the start, in fact, he’s the one who realizes Sage’s identity, and eventually confronts him about it. Yeah uhh. Sage isn’t that good at hiding it from these two. Navy’s the brains and wise-guy of the team, the one who actually strategizes. He also became a self taught archer with the journey. He has a bit of a flair for the dramatic, and he’s quite a theater kid, considering he’s a wonderful actor, and something of a makeup artist. He’s very much rich, but definitely not spoiled, as he’s overly generous and kind. Maybe a bit too much. Despite that, he’s a bit snarky can come off as a bit of a smart aleck if bothered enough, though it’s rare to see him actually angry. He’s also sensitive and worries over calling himself a coward, but gains a sense of confidence later on. As for fears, he has a really bad fear of snakes and will freeze if he sees anything that resembles one, then there’s a disliking of cats since most cats seem to despise him for no reason. He just returns the favor. He’s also very uncomfortable with close combat, which is why he opts for archery. Another worry he occasionally has is the possibility that he’s dragging the team down. He often can blame himself for things more than he should. Then there’s the last hero.

- Biromantic, demisexual, gender non conforming

The Red Hero - Cardinal

- Full name is Cardinal Hayes

- A Holodrumian who’s been living in Hytopia for years. He originally came at a young age with his mother, however, she had to go back to Holodrum while he insisted on staying. His mother is really the only family he has, as he never got to know his father and is an only child. Cardinal and his mother write to each other very often and he misses her dearly. He was there the day Styla was cursed, and registered as the first hero almost immediately, but he had to wait for multiple months before getting a full team. Though he somewhat likes the status he gets from being a hero, he mostly registered for the sake of his home, Hytopia, as the whole town lost its identity, nearly becoming a ghost town because of the curse. He was one of the few who walked town with no fear, not believing most rumors running around town. Minus one, specifically the rumor of the ghost wandering town. (Yeah. He’s kinda scared of ghosts) He was somewhat relieved when he had gotten his team, though it took quite a while for him to warm up to Sage and Navy. He acts as the team’s powerhouse. Confident, brash, headstrong and cocky with a short temper. Despite it, he usually means well and does care for peoples’ well being. He hates seeing anyone put themselves down. He also does let the other two live with him after some time. He’s a fire gloves enthusiast, and can be reckless with many things, but cooking isn’t one of them. He’s practically a culinary master. Because of living in Hytopia for such a long time, he’s also fluent in speaking Hytopian (which is basically just French in my headcanon) and occasionally will speak it, though the other two can’t really understand. Despite his tendency to push people away, ironically, isolation and loneliness is his biggest fear, specifically in a situation where he’s not at all in control. He can become overwhelmed, even get very emotional. Another issue he deals with greatly is his self-image. He hates the “weak and emotional” side of himself and will do anything to hide it from others, and he’ll shame himself for it. After the hardships, he does soften up a little and accepts that “weakness” is okay.

- Gay mlm (but he’s not looking for a relationship, won’t be for years), he’s also on the ace spectrum but he doesn’t know nor care much

Appearances

So, the reason as to why they all have their hair. Those obviously aren’t their actual hair and eye colors. See here.

EDIT: [Eyes now have a new ref, see below]

NEW eye color ref

This is them just before they got their hero’s tunics. Once the team formed, there was a spell (EDIT: Now referred to as “The Hero’s Tether”) cast onto them which “bound them together” with the side effects of changing their hair and eye colors. Unfortunately a kinda bad side effect is shared pain. When one gets hurt, the other two feel it as well, but it’s not as bad for them. Despite that, they like keeping the spell. Makes them overall feel more like a team, but the reason why feels strangely beyond their comprehension.

Anyway, I absolutely love to ramble about these guys, and I’m always very much willing to. They’re just really fun to draw and mess around with, what can I say?

[walkingwiththegods1]

Pagan Misconceptions Clarified: Why Amaterasu, is NOT "Only The Goddess of The Sun, Than is The Only Female Deity Than Leads to a Pantheon of Gods; Today?!"

    Amaterasu, is maybe a Deity than is not so well know in The Western World; (for the geographical distance and for the few translations of Japanese Mythology, we have the chance to read... ) but, is worthy to know about this Deity; for the fact than she is the only leading female figure, in one of Today's Mayor Religions of The World; Shinto: The Traditional and National Religion of Japan!

    Amaterasu, is The Goddess of The Sun; and the Ruler of the Heavenly Realm, Takamagahara; and she is not only the Ruler of Heaven, she is too; the Divine Ancestress of... The Imperial Family of Japan! She is the sister of Tsukuyomi,(The Moon-God) Susanoo; (The Warrior God of Storms and The Sea) The Eight Islands than conforms Japan, (Oyashima) a few more islands, Kagu-tsuchi, (The God of Fire) and of many other Deities.

    Note: Except for some Shinto's Denominations, this is not a closed religion; in general. (But... always ask before to enter to a Shinto Temple, and conduct yourself properly; when you are there, Okay?!)

    And, now... The qualities than makes Amaterasu, the great Goddess she is; today!

    All started, with the story of her birth: The Creator God Izanagi, (after failed to recover to his wife than recently died, and he went to The Underworld to retrieved her; and he had to left her, when he saw her now new form; and she tried to kill him...) he goes to bathed himself to get rid of the impurities; after his trip to Yomi, (Japanese Underworld) and while he was washing his face; it ocurred the marvelous birth of  "The Three Precious", which are the most important children of Izanagi: Amaterasu, from his left eye; Tsukuyomi, from his right eye; and Susanoo, from his nose. Izanagi, decided than Amaterasu must being named; as The Ruler of Takamagahara; (Heavenly Realm) Tsukuyomi, The Night; and Susanoo, The Seas. She became The Goddess of The Sun, than which as The Goddess of The Sun; she gives warm and love to any person than follow her.

    Next, Susanoo; (for his difficult nature) was expelled from The Heavenly Realm, but; according to one popular myth; before he could left... He went to Takamagahara, to say godbye to her sister. Amaterasu, (than supected than something, was "Off...") went to meet to her youngest brother in male clothes and in clad armor; and Susanoo proposed a trial by pledge, as to show his sincerity: Each of them, chewed and spat an object carried by the other, and in result; five Gods and three Goddesses were created, Amaterasu adopted the males; and the female deities, she left them to his brother. But, Susanoo alleged than; because he produces more Gods of the ideal gender, he won... And causes such a wreck, than even the benevolent and tolerant Goddess; ended very furious when Susanoo makes a hole over Amaterasu's Weaving Hall, hurled a heavenly horse inside; which he flayed alive, (Poor horsey!...) which indirectly caused the death of one of Amaterasu's Weaving Maidens; and The Sun-Goddess, indignated; leaved and entered inside a cave and shut it herself, with no desire to get out again: Her hiding, provoques than Heaven and Earth; to fell in total darkness.

    The Kami, (Minor Deities in Shinto) were really despair; because without the warm and light of Amaterasu, was hard to see anything right in front of them; and not only Gods and Mortals, had to deal with how incomodate is being in the dark with cold; so they have to deal with the evil spirits than multiplies in Earth, causing all kind of troubles. They, with the help of The God of Wisdom; Omoikane, devices a plan to makes Amaterasu to get out; to her self-impose exile: They gather a mirror, goes near to the cave with these object; and they started a mini-party, where one of The Goddesses, made somthing than provoques the laughter of the other Deities. Amaterasu, heared the noise outside; so she asked after opening a bit the entrance of the cave, what was the reason of such laughter; and one of the Kami told her, than they have found a Deity greater than she; so out of curiosity, she opened the entrance more to try to see to that Deity; herself, and when she put her face closer... One of the Kami, put the mirror in front of her; making her feel disoriented by her own reflection, (she never have saw her own face before) and other Kami grabbed her by one arm; pulling her out of the cave, (which was forever sealed, to prevent her to enter it; again) and.... The Sun-Goddess's Light and Warm, were back again! Amaterasu, realized after been convinced by the other Kamis; than The World was better with her presence, so she came back to the Heavenly Realm, so her Light and Warm; never left The World, since then!

     But, Amaterasu's power and influences; doesn't finish with her Solar Powers!

     In other myths, she is The Goddess than gave many things to Humanity; than without them... Life for Humans will be sorrowful, and Humanity will have dissapeared a lot time ago: She created Agriculture, gave Rice to the first Humans as principal food; and she created Sericulture. (Cultivation for rising Silkworms, so people could make dresses)

     Amaterasu's grandson, Ninigi; goes to Earth, to pacified Japan, and Ninigi's great grandson; Jimmu, became The First Emperor of Japan: For that reason, Amaterasu is the Goddess and Ancestress of The Imperial Family of Japan!

    Curious fact: The Imperial Temple in Ise, is the most important Temple; dedicated to Amaterasu. (So, if one day you travel to Japan; and go to visit it... Remember to purify yourself, put your hands in praying mode for a little moment with your eyes close; and bow your head a little as sign of respect, open your eyes; and... Continue your visit with respect, and be sure to imitated the action of the local visitors in the Temple; to avoid being irrespectful by accident!)

    These is all, about The Sun-Goddess; than even today greets to all each morning, and is always present to her followers; inside and out of Japan: Amaterasu!  

        Have all of you, bright and warm days; full of Light... So Be It!

[cupcakestreets]

I'm actually really happy that we're all talking about this now. I'm a cis female, so I'd put my opinion below Non-Binary, Genderfluid and Trans visitors of this blog.

That said I've been a weeb for over a decade and have witnessed fandoms during less inclusive times, so I'm curious about this too.

I can see where having characters look like the "ideal" body type for their gender can be harmful for the both the community, and even insecure cis people. I don't fit the mold for women either, I'm incredibly short, stocky and square. Though like Cupcake pointed out, some trans, non-binary and genderfluid people have a curvy body type, though I understand that leads to dysphoria. And I think the representation of these "sterotypical" body types shouldn't be erased, or demonized, because they do exist, they just shouldn't be exalted above the rest.

What if gender swapped art included Ingo and Emmet being openly MtF ? That would be the inverse of the popular headcanon that the twins (especially ingo) are FtM? Depicted or implied top and/or bottom surgery? The same for dysphoria? Or images of them wearing gender non-conforming clothing, like baggy (figure-hiding), masc clothes for girlmas and dresses for submas? Depictions of either girlmas or submas switching between masc and fem presentations? With or without changing girlmas' body type.

Would that be inclusive enough? I'd like to know what everyone thinks.

Thank you anon! I'm glad this conversation is happening too. I too wanna get more opioions. If anyone reads this leave a comment. When will it be inclusive enough

[gwen-pleakley]

Task 6: Pride

Describe your character’s orientation, and/or gender identity.

Transgender heterosexual woman (she/her)

How did they come to the realization?

While I don’t normally include cishet identities in these Pride posts, Gwen’s is a unique case in that her “heterosexuality” is very recent development in what has been an ostensibly queer journey. Gwen knew that she was attracted to men from an extremely young age, developing crushes on her male classmates as young as preschool. She knew that she liked boys far earlier than she would realize she’s a woman.

Her realization of her gender began with cross-dressing. It started as a Halloween costume, where she and her (female) partner dressed in clothes traditionally meant for the opposite sex as a laugh. Gwen was shocked to discover how much more comfortable she felt presenting this way, and how badly she yearned to go back even after the holiday passed. She continued to cross-dress in complete secrecy, even going so far as to steal her partner’s clothing. Running away with Javi gave her the chance to start a new life and she leaped at the opportunity to remake herself as a woman. It is only now that she’s living as a woman full time that she has started to make the discovery that it’s not that she likes to dress as a woman--she is one.

What is your character’s relationship like with their sexuality and gender? Are they in or out?

Gwen’s relationship with both has been very fraught throughout her life. She knew she liked boys from an early age, but she also knew that it wasn’t socially acceptable. Growing up in the 90′s-00′s, where “gay” was slang for bad/stupid and the marriage debate still hot across the nation, it became clear that she needed to remain closeted in order to stay in society’s good graces. Any hint of femininity was bullied out of her at school, though her feeble attempts at masculinity were also mocked. In the end, she settled in androgyny and kept her head down.

Additionally, her mother made it clear that being gay would not be acceptable. While she claimed to not care about such things, she put heavy pressure on her children to conform and succeed within societies norms. When Gwen’s older brother, Bertrand, was caught fooling around with his male friends, it caused such a commotion and schism within the family that Gwen retreated entirely into the closet, locking it behind her.

In the end, Gwen came to the belief that if she just tried hard enough, she could perfect cisheteronormativity just like she perfected her grades and academic accolades. She dated women--even going so far as to become engaged to one--all while suppressing and ignoring any attraction to men. If she didn’t acknowledge it, maybe it would go away.

All throughout this time, she never once questioned her gender. The idea that you could be a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth was completely unfathomable to her. She was told she was a man and that’s how she needed to act, at least passingly enough to not draw any attention. It wasn’t until she started her journey of cross-dressing that she began to question everything she knew. When she proposed to Javi that she recreate her identity as a woman, it wasn’t even under the belief that she was actually transgender. It was an excuse to continue her cross-dressing without any scrutiny. Now, almost a year into living full time as a woman, she can’t imagine ever going back. At the same time, she has yet to actually call herself transgender. It’s a journey of acceptance that is still going on.

The interesting byproduct of this gender exploration, however, has been the opening of the closet door. In being “married” to Javi, she has become the heterosexual ideal. Now that she’s a woman, her attraction to men isn’t something to hide, but rather “the norm”. For the first time, she’s actually able to acknowledge and explore that attraction--this has resulted in years worth of suppression unleashing onto Javi. While her feelings for him are genuine, there is definitely an aspect to her crush that is just allowing herself to openly experience having feelings for men in a way that she never allowed up until this point. In many ways, it is euphoric, while in others, it is terrifying. It still feels deeply queer but in a way that society, and she, can accept. As long as she continues to play into all of her roles correctly, anyway.

What do they think about Pride and the community as a whole?

Even before her life as Gwen, she claimed to be an ally. At the very least, she was never hateful and did not participate in bigoted practices from her mother or classmates. At the same time, she wasn’t one to stick her neck out. While she’d engage in “intellectual” debates on the matter, as soon as it seemed like she was becoming too involved in the issue, she would back away. She wouldn’t seek out Pride events but if she just happened to pass by, then there was no harm in watching the parade or making light chit-chat. In the end, she was like a skittish animal--watching from the outside, but darting away as soon as anyone acknowledged her.

In that regard, not much has changed since becoming Gwen. Outwardly, she does not present as queer. With her gender identity a secret and her sexuality seen as “the norm”, there is no reason for her to identify with or engage with the community. In fact, there is still apart of her that is afraid of the repercussions should she invest too heavily. At the same time, American society is (relatively) more accepting now than it was a decade ago, so she feels more comfortable being an open “ally” than ever before. She will definitely go to Pride this year--but only if she’s with her husband so she can make it very clear that she’s just an ally, and nothing more.