#world's worst larper

[palebonedry]

fantasy has become reality

[sturniolo-rat]

Too Sweet: Prologue

Matthew Sturniolo X Reader

A/N: I did a poll to see if y’all wanted this but I already had it written so it was a trick question 😌😌😌💕

Contains: literally nothing, no smut no fluff just story

TW: alcohol abuse?, drunk driving, existential dread

Matt is an optimistic do gooder on his way to Redwood University to start his masters degree. He’s far from home but he feels like the world is at his fingertips.

Cricket is a high school drop out going nowhere fast. She’s deeply unhappy with her job as a bartender at a tavern frequented by Dungeons and Dragons larpers.

They can’t help but feel drawn to each other, but is he too sweet for her?

This is what they were doing the morning of the day they met.

Y/N’s Pov

It’s 8 am on a Tuesday. I take a shot of fireball in preparation for my 12 hour shift at The Enchanted Mushroom Tavern and Inn. It is a belief commonly held that taverns and inns only exist in dungeons and dragons. This is false, as all well loved imaginary things come to life with time. That’s a fancy way of saying this place was built for people who LARP and I have to pretend I’m a medieval bar wench.

I squeeze myself into my costume that consists of an off white shirt with puffy off the shoulder sleeves, a mossy green skirt with a tattered and uneven hem, and a brown corset over top that I will note is Elizabethan and not medieval. The woefully inaccurate uniform isn’t the worst part of the job though. While at work my name is no longer Y/N it’s Petronella Epworth the fucking third and I wear the dumbass name tag to prove it.

“Let’s go, Phoebe!” I yell from our living room. I’ve never been a patient woman. Not even when we were kids. We met in kindergarten when she was hesitant going down the big slide at the park and I decided she was taking too long and pushed her. I’m bitch but I’m an insanely efficient, hardworking bitch that gets what she wants.

“Give me a minute!” She’s been working at the Tavern with me for a year and a half, and I’m always 15 minutes early for work. Because we carpool, she is always 15 minutes early for work, which has given her a reputation of reliability that she does not deserve. Phoebe has a few redeeming qualities to make up for her flakiness. When I need her, and she actually shows up, she’s unreasonably nurturing. One time, when I got sick after I dropped out of high school, she played hooky and stayed in my family’s trailer to take care of me. She brought ingredients for homemade soup and blankets. Nice blankets, too, the fleece ones that go on sale around Christmas time. The book she stole from her mother’s collection to read to me was the highlight of my week. It was called “My Alpha Mate.” The main character was an omega, and her love interest was an alpha. I think they were like werewolves or something. It was extremely smutty.

“I’ll just wait in the car, then!” There’s a loud thud as I close the front door. My van is objectively shitty. It’s a 1998 Nissan Quest that I’ve named Ted. I do, however, feel that if you’re 24 and own a van, you ought to be either a mother or a hippie with that cool Volkswagon. My vehicle doesn’t match me at all, but at least he carts around all the shit I own that doesn’t fit in my apartment. While I wait in the driver’s seat, I take a swig from the flask I keep in the car—fireball, of course, always fireball. I take a long look at myself in my rearview mirror and wonder what I’m doing with my life.

Matt’s Pov

It’s 8 am on a Tuesday and the sun is shining down on me through the sunroof of my car. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I already know it’s one of my brothers.

We’re triplets and have never been apart for more than 3 days at a time. When I was getting my bachelors degree they got an apartment two blocks away from my dorm. Chris and Nick never went to college and started a clothing brand called Fresh Love and a chapstick brand called Space Camp. Safe to say my lips are well moisturized. I’m actually wearing gray Fresh Love sweatpants right now. They’re very comfortable and perfect for long drives. I’m embarking on a 10 hour road trip to my new apartment near Redwood University where I will be studying for the next 5 years. My brothers think I’m absolutely insane for moving this far away from home.

“Chris, you know I hate answering the phone while I’m driving.” He does this on purpose to piss me off, but when I get into an accident because he divided my attention, he’s going to be sorry.

“Dude, did you know Red U’s mascot is a booby.”

“Yes, I did.” I most certainly did not know that.

Nick chimes in because, of course, Nick is there too. They’re never far apart. “Okay, but, listen to me when I say this, Matt, it’s a blue-footed booby at Red U.” He puts emphasis on blue and red. “Doesn’t that bother you? It bothers us!”

“Why on earth would that bother me? I’m not going for the sports anyway.” It bothers me a great deal. I can’t believe I have to rep the Redwood blue-footed boobies. This will surely tarnish the Sturniolo family name.

“Shut up!” says Chris. “I know it bothers you, and that’s why you have to turn that car around immediately and come back home.”

“Chrissy, I love you and Nick the most, but I have to go. I’ve got a scholarship and a once-in-a-lifetime internship.” Red U is home to one of the most prestigious research labs in America, and I have an internship there. It’s the whole reason I applied to the university; the scholarship was just an added bonus—the perks of being a straight-A student.

He groans, “I know. We know you’re going to go out and do great things.”

We’re just gonna miss our little Mattmallow,” adds Nick in that weird baby voice people use sometimes. My heart sinks at the use of my childhood nickname.

“I’m gonna miss you guys too.” More than I’ve missed anyone ever.

“Alright, man. I’m gonna leave you alone. I know you hate talking and driving,” Nick says, and I know he’s feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Love you, guys.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The line goes dead and I know I should feel some sort of sadness but really I just feel loved. I am deeply loved, my future is bright, and I feel like today is an omen.

Masterlist

Taglist

@wurlibydominicfike @yourmumscar69 @69isabella69 @mattsturniolosgf @mrsmiagreer since you guys liked the Too Sweet poll post

[shsl-roomba]

@thecrazyphantom @skateironicallycantskate HERE YOU GO!!!!!! TYY FOR ASKING!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!! IM PUTTING A READ MORE BECAUSE THIS IS A LOONG BABY!!

starting with the oc i draw the most, cavity is a murderous zombie, self-proclaimed fashionista and part-time killer-for-hire. she’s perpetually bored by most things, with an exception for clothes, cake, hot girls and human flesh. cavity has no memories of her past other than brief flashbacks of working in a super greasy cheap fast food restaurant that leave her horrified. she hates getting dirty, which unfortunately clashes with her chosen profession. big gae. shes my girl my baby my evrything i love her❤️❤️❤️ she eats peopl

oc number two is coriander, cavity’s reanimator, doctor and the reluctant manager of her assassination business. a mad scientist in a constant state of pissed off-ness, coriander acts calm and collected (if still a sarcastic prick) but completely loses his cool and goes off into a rage at the slightest hint of failure. he does a lot of medical malpractice. smokes too much. fluctuates between “i am so much better than anyone else” and “i am the worst i should die. biggest hater in the whole wide world. i hope he drowns❤️

final oc that i have more developed is gutzy, a scene kid horror movie fanatic and cavity’s best friend. convinced that cavity is just a really dedicated LARPer and therefore constantly asks her how she does such cool cosplay. despite their often unsettling obsession with gruesome things, are friendly and a generally nice person overall. theyre slowly figuring out that something is very wrong with their best friend. i love them 4 ever and ever❤️❤️❤️ not everyone wants to watch your universe’s equivalent to the human centipede though please learn this❤️❤️❤️

i have more but these three are the main ones that are more developed.

[femenaces]

not the same anon but fwiw I really feel you. I spent years certain I was a lesbian, then in my early twenties suddenly realized I was probably attracted to men as well and had a total preference shift. it’s the actual worst.

yeah it’s awful. And a lot of people hate to acknowledge this happens at all because the very idea of this being possible makes them uncomfortable and scared for themselves, so they’ll write off all cases of “straight” women switching into liking women as “Oh, you were just repressing yourself” and all “lesbians” switching into being attracted to men as “Oh, she was just a larper lying on purpose! Evil bisexuals” so when you go through it it’s like great, I’m already miserable and destabilized, and on top of that, everyone in the world has an opinion about how I’m lying and they understand my internal experience more than me.

And in my personal experience even the label of bisexual feels so off and wrong to me, since never ever in my life have I liked both sexes at the same time in typical bisexual fashion. It feels more like I have a gay and a straight doppelgänger and straight doppelgänger lived for the first stretch and then fucked off after passing the baton to gay doppelgänger.

I know in radfem circles it is taboo to suggest sexuality can be fluid due to the baggage associated with the idea, and I used to reject it as well. But I have had to seriously reform my opinion on it after going through what I’ve gone through. Sexuality isn’t fluid for everybody, and the idea of sexual fluidity should never be used to pressure someone into sex or relationships they don’t want to have, but it is the reality for some people.

[blocksruinedme]

SmallEtho wip clip cause ao3's down

[final fic! The Hangover Brunch ]

This is my fourth. I certainly hope ao3 will be up come tuesday afternoon, if not I'll put out more fic bits.

This one was supposed to be for @smallethoweek, back in january. I have two wips from that week that I still plan to publish! They are college larpers, they met playing a larp called "double life" and started hooking up. It's a few weeks later and they are hooking up all the time.

The final fic will be, I think, barely M. I don't love the title and i hope to be struck with inspiration.

(I also have a 2k modern Flower Husbands wip clip up and a "smallidarity back on empires without grian" post-lim life fic, and a silly smallidarity emp s2 one.)

"The Hangover Brunch" by BlocksRuinedMe

Thinking about the ongoing, and perhaps eternal, ambiguity around the nature of his relationship with Etho made Joel anxious, so he tried to limit how much he let himself dwell. He wasn’t very successful, but he kept trying because he couldn’t see a better option. The one time he’d tried to discuss it with Etho had been unpleasant and ended with Joel very drunk and making questionable decisions, sure he had been thoroughly and permanently dumped. It was still unclear to Joel (and he wasn’t about to ask) what Etho thought had happened, if he even thought there had been a fight, because he texted Joel two days later as if nothing had changed. Joel was relieved to be able to slip back into whatever-they-had-going-on as if nothing had happened, and privately swore to not bring it up again, regardless of how many times his friends asked him to. He was sure it would get sorted out eventually, one way or another. The (perhaps imagined) breakup had left Joel very clear that he wanted whatever he could get from Etho. He didn’t see any reason to risk losing what he was getting and his hopes for the future.  

The anxiety about Etho was usually easiest to push away when he was with Etho. Joel didn’t know enough about relationships to know if that was unusual or ironic, but he was very grateful to not (always) be a total disaster when they were together. The nights alone, the days spent repeatedly checking his messages (despite always having push notifications on for Etho), the wandering thoughts during class and in lab – those were the real problem. 

It was clear that Joel’s friends had grown weary of hearing him whine about Etho, possibly even more than they seemed sick of him gushing about Etho, so he tried to only share the anxiety spirals when he was at his worst and desperate for distraction. None of them knew how consistently (every day) he felt crazy about Etho - and not the good kind of “being crazy” about a super hot, totally ripped genius who keeps showing up at your dorm room to show you a very good time. Instead he had “try your best to not become a stalker but it’s looking dicey” crazy and “maybe fail out of school from being too gay” crazy. Not instead of, though, he’d accepted he had multiple kinds of crazy, and might be suffering from more kinds of Etho crazy than he realized. He told himself it was worth it. 

Despite being over nearly every night, Etho didn’t often stay the night in Joel’s cramped dorm room. When he did he usually woke up and left early. They never talked about it, of course, but Joel knew it was early enough that his housemates might not realize he hadn’t come home the night before. After weeks Joel hadn’t even been in Etho’s bedroom, which he told himself was… fine. When Etho fell asleep before Joel, or slept in after Joel (who never slept much anyway), Joel let himself be–or at least feel like–a total creep by watching Etho sleep. Those moments were both excruciating and exquisite to Joel’s fragile heart. In the relaxation of sleep, Etho looked peaceful, vulnerable, open - even soft. It felt precious and beautiful and it made Joel’s heart hurt. He longed to have that from waking Etho, and tried to be patient.

The rest of the world (or at least most of it) didn’t get to see this Etho, and Joel clung desperately to that knowledge, that he was being gifted with some special part of Etho. He knew he would sound crazy if he said it out loud. He knew that Etho wasn’t specifically gifting him this, he was on some level taking it without Etho’s knowledge.  But Etho felt safe enough to give Joel that [access], and that meant the world to Joel. 

For all their sexual connection and intensity, these moments were when Joel felt an intimacy he’d lacked in all of his ill-fated and brief attempts at dating. No matter what Etho thought, or felt, this was the best relationship Joel had ever had. 

On the excruciating side, all those feelings reminded Joel of everything he didn't have with Etho. Being affectionate and using pet names in public, romantic things like dates and sappy goodnight texts if they slept apart, and getting to introduce Etho to people and say “This is my boyfriend, Etho.” Right now he’d settle for having literally any idea of what he could expect from Etho, of what this meant to Etho, what he meant to Etho. They'd never even had a conversation about sex with other people, so Joel operated under the assumption that Etho was sleeping with an unknown number of other people. Joel was a little surprised that he didn't feel particularly jealous about the idea – he didn't think he needed to be Etho’s Only in any regard. It wasn't about the amount of time they spent together (though he'd love more), it was more about how they spent the time they had, how they interacted with the world, and with each other. If Etho had an actual serious public relationship, while Joel was left in limbo, that would at minimum sting, if not devastate him. Joel felt sure he’d be happy for Etho to have a dozen boyfriends (or girlfriends, or whoever friends)... as long as he could be one too. 

[mdhwrites]

So in one of your posts, you mention that Marcy from Amphibia is one of the more awkward elements of the show. I know you haven’t finished the show yet, but I was wondering if you’d be up to elaborating on that?

Marcy’s writing really bothers me, but I’ve never been able to articulate why, and you’re really good at writing analysis, so I’d be really interested in hearing your thoughts on her.

I can try but it's one that I've admittedly struggled to pin down entirely, especially because episodes with Marcy in them seem to kind of change the ENTIRE flow of Amphibia whenever she's around and it's kind of awkward. I do want to say that after having just watched The First Temple literally just now that Marcy isn't a bad character. She's not as flat as she could be, her personality is consistent and she's plenty likable. Honestly, in 90% of shows, she'd be a really solid of the cast.

But... If Willow is a plot device surrounded by characters, Marcy is a character surrounded by people.

What I mean by this is that part of what's impressive with Amphibia is that despite being more over the top and more comedic than something like Randy Cunningham or The Owl House, a lot of its stuff is actually pretty grounded. Everyone feels real to some extent with not only a full character but personality, beliefs, etc. like that. They fit into archtypes but they're more than that and a lot of episodes are powered simply by these great people reacting to an inciting incident of some sort or the world around them. It gives a very human quality to all of it and is why the episodes I usually like less is when they lean REALLY hard into one element of a person, thus making them feel less like people and more like a character in a story.

Marcy is the smart nerd with dreams of grandeur and grand fantasy. She's the larper in a lot of modern shows: She's a nerd and DAMN proud of it. But... She also never escapes that to be more than just her archtype. Worse yet, it's an archtype that's dangerous. Proving someone is smart is often a really easy way to make someone sound or appear cringe and their lengths for it are pretty hit or miss.

But the worst part for her, the reason she throws such a hard wrench into things is that... Marcy Wu is really close to Mary Sue. WAIT A SECOND THOUGH! A definition I've heard for Mary Sue is that they suck so much attention to them and have EVERYTHING revolve around them when they're around that everything else suffers. They are a narrative black hole.

Marcy isn't quite that bad, don't get me wrong... But you can absolutely feel the rest of the characters become worse around her... Even as she doesn't interact with them. Marcy in all of her appearances so far for me feels like she interacts with Anne at most but otherwise is entirely independent of everything going on around her. There's no give and take with Marcy as she trudges towards the narrative goal of an episode which is far less natural, and far more stock, than Amphibia usually manages.

And because there's no push and pull, everyone else has to kind of just deal with Marcy being there. Anne has to entirely ignore that Marcy is capable and Sprig has to turn into a jackass and Marcy won't notice until the end of the episode. Marcy will just continuously smart for an entire episode to make Anne jealous and feel bad but she's not actually interacting with Anne in anyway.

Then there's The First Temple where... Marcy may as well not be there. That entire episode, she could be replaced with a ticking clock for how long they have to survive each puzzle and not much changes because the main thrust of the episode is actually Hop Pop and Anne. The conflict is good if handled really awkwardly and uncomfortably, which admittedly fits the tone of being in the room with two people who won't talk about their problems but it didn't make me feel anymore at ease. Worse yet, Marcy dismisses their problem before minutes later realizing that the pain Hop Pop was in was going on and throwing the game which... Isn't really earned.

Now if they had actually focused on her being in the zone and needing to snap out of it, that'd be one thing but that's not even a part of the second puzzle. Frankly the second puzzle in general is awkward as all the characters, to make Marcy look more brave, are suddenly REALLY afraid of any sort of danger. It's how they are in the ENTIRE episode which... I guess works if you haven't watched almost literally any of S1. These are not exactly simple folk who fear lightning from the sky but even POLLY is terrified of any threat in this place, at least until she has a sword.

And that sort of awkwardness isn't new with Marcy. It's there in her introductory episode. Really, the only episode so far that doesn't have Marcy causing problems like this is when she's explicitly acting like Sasha. Which really just reminds you that a character who has had LESS SCREENTIME at this point... Did it way better.

Sasha is the opposite of Marcy in this and I get that's part of the point of the trio's dynamic but it's to such a severe extent that... It really feels like Sasha and Anne have a real relationship while Marcy is just 'the smart one' to round out the trio.

And yes, again, I know this is actually part of the point but that happens at the END OF S3. That's a long time for a payoff to this when right now she's just kind of an awkward wedge not only in the trio but in the show's very writing style, tone and vibe.

Now I do want to pull back for second. If I were grading on a curve, Marcy's episodes would be closer to the bottom for me so far with the one where she does the least, her solving the riddle, probably being the best because Anne still feels very natural in that episode. But they're all fine at worst episodes. None of them make me angry or dislike the characters or the plot or anything like that.

The worst elements of Amphibia are still rocking a 7/10 for the most part. Marcy simply one of those elements, especially when compared to... Really any character in the show, including pretty much THE ENTIRETY OF WARTWOOD which makes out more like a sore thumb.

And while a sore thumb won't ruin your day, it will put you on edge and the stress might affect other parts of your body, just like Marcy does to the rest of the cast.

[dravenxivuk]

I've realised that I miss hugs, specifically being hugged.

Pre decreasing mobility, the plague and becoming mostly housebound I at least had some contact with friends who were always happy to provide hugs*, but now I don't really see anyone outside, and of those, the couple who happily provide hugs are smaller than me.

And wife's lost a lot of bulk since she started transitioning, like a lot. Which she's incredibly happy about, and I'm happy she's happy and comfortable in her skin, but it means that she's smaller than me now. She's always been shorter, but now she's littler. She's gone from being the hugger to the huggee.**

On my worst days I feel like a clumsy giant*** trying to navigate the world without crushing people, but most days I just miss being hugged.

It's a weird feeling. Not loneliness as such, that's a whole separate issue that came free as part of the chronic illness package.

And I'm not sure what to do about it, it's not like I can order hugs direct to my house. Or maybe I can. You can get anything off the internet after all.****

*Lot of 6' plus larpers with wide shoulders and long arms, good for big hugs.

**We've talked about this, she does try to hold me as well rather than just snuggling into me.

***It's a valid concern, I'm 5'10 with balance, mobility and propriception issues

****I am scared to check this and have no idea where to start

[lightdancer1]

Paul Robeson is one of the examples of people who got tripped up by the Cold War:

There are leaders who succeed and make their names in the history books, and those who fail, who do not. Robeson is an example of the latter and it was the Cold War that caused the problems for him. Specifically that in the 1930s, at the height of the Depression, he became a full-fledged Stalinist who was too cagey to admit it when he was alive. In the 1930s and in WWII this was not exactly welcome but it wasn't the main target of HUAC, which spent its first years hunting Nazis.

After WWII was over, it turned to the deeds for which it's more famous, namely hunting the Red under the Bed. Robeson confronted HUAC in what was in the end a standard case of civil liberties versus pursuit of the Fifth Column, and in the event HUAC demolished his career as it did with other entertainers in the height of McCarthyism. The Robeson case is a good example of both the Cold War at some of its worst.....and the reality is that he did go to the USSR in 1934, in the wake of collectivization and the terror-famines it produced, saw nothing wrong with it (it was just white people who died in his view and he'd never heard of a Kazakh and never would) and was entirely fine with the kind of tyranny that made Jim Crow look like the inefficient creation of Confederate LARPers it actually was.

[everyothermouse]

Rambling abt jay, pastel, pipes, and sailor! Specifically what their homes r like :D

tw for transphobia mentions in sailor's!

Pastel lives in an apartment complex with 7 younger siblings, her parents, and 2 cats, she has to be home a lot because she has to help cook and take care of them :P school is her heaven, any excuse she can get to go to school events like clubs, big games, etc she will take just to stay a little longer in the big world where she's quirky powerful and (most importantly) just another piece of the tossing turning student body instead of being stuck being only the oldest sister, only defined by her age. She takes a lot of pride in her siblings, but sometimes it just feels like her entire identity is put on hold the second she gets home.

Sailor lives in a big ass mansion but no one is allowed to visit when his parents arent home and his parents are fucking never home cus they have so much BUSINESS to do so he basically just hides in his room and eats alone in the big ass dining room when he's home. He doesn't really care his parents aren't around much, they're transphobic and he can't really afford to get kicked out so he has to go into Cis Mode tm when they're there and it's annoying. He enjoys not being home cus its lonely, but he doesn't really have the same school pride pastel had or motivation to join a lot of clubs, so mostly he just volunteers for setting up big school events cus he gets to socialize a lot, and he takes literally any opportunity to be invited over to other people's places cus mmmm extroversion.

Pipes lives with voids (adult) big sister and grand parent, voids mom also visits at least on the weekends if not more, but she's very busy with college and work trying to support the family! She has a very good relationship with all three of them though! They live in a kind of brown tired flat with dim yellow lights and furniture all passed down from the grandparent's house, but they like it that way. They dont buy new things too often, so when they do its a super exciting event where theyll all use the new thing every chance they get since its so cool and new, and everything there has a history and a fun story behind it and is full of love.

Jay lives with his dad, his babysitter (aka his dad's highschool friend who lives in their guest bedroom), and his little brother. He lives in a house in a more suburban area and spends a lot of time outdoors playing with the kids in the neighborhood, he's a larper at heart so he likes to come up with imagination games with the youngins, though he also likes inviting his friends over to play in the forest nearby their house.

small tw for anger issues and children being yelled at/being afraid for this next section! (The children are safe.)

Unlike pastel he straight up isn't allowed to babysit his younger sibling or any other child in the neighborhood because despite his passion for hanging out with children cus they're fun, he has been deemed an entirely unsuitable caretaker because when there isn't an adult he is very prone to yelling, not bothering to control dangerous situations, and outbursts of anger. He's very well behaved with adults around, and a very good influence and friend to the kids generally, it's just that when he feels there is pressure to be the adult in a situation (such as when hes asked to babysit) he starts behaving like the previous adults in his life without realizing it, and ends up hurting people (not literally, he only babysat a couple times and the worst he did was throwing a toaster at the floor once to get out his anger but its still very upsetting for the kids, especially tol.) He's working through that stuff and what not but as of right now he and his little brother do have their babysitter (Daydream originally (as in ey were named daydream, not that ey was imaginary), now Cherrybomb) with them whenever pop is working.

[renardtrickster]

I feel like you maybe shouldn't kick a hornet's nest if middle-school rhetoric like "at least I can criticize the countries I believe in while if you did the same you would get arrested" could kill you instantly with no possible defense or recourse. But I feel like the thing that's ultimately pathetic about tankies, why they're such moral and intellectual blackholes, why they are incapable of achieving any real wins for the socialist cause and can only resort to jerking off over their based historical figures like Stalin or Mao or deluding themselves on copium like the idea that fucking China is a communist state, and why any proletarian interest movement can only survive if they exclude, make fun of, and defend themselves from infiltration from losers like these, is for one simple reason.

When anarchists call China and the USSR and similar "authoritarian", they mean that genuinely. They probably think their state like the US or Canada is objectively better than those guys, but I've yet to see one who thinks its perfect. The US is fucked with authoritarianism, the police have stupid amounts of legal immunities and ill-placed public support, millionaires and corporations have their thumbs pressed on the internet, feds trawl through our private messages, and our political body is seemingly incapable or unwilling to fix any of this, and that sucks, and I want it changed, and will support any action or cause that seeks to ameliorate these issues. I want the excesses and flaws of my country righted, then the rest of the world. Meanwhile when MLs and other LARPers bust out this line, they are not interested in the call coming from their own house. They aren't aware of any human rights abuses or censorship, or they do know but don't care, or they do care but think it's correct in some way and will explain why disappearing protestors and unionists is vital for a worker's state, and if they can't do that they'll just deny it (while saying that if it hypothetically did happen it would be okay). They are the worst of the worst America exceptionalists "like it or get out" but for countries that have red flags. And they resort to smears like this when talking with obvious, shaking contempt towards anarchists (who they hate because their authoritarian daddies killed them, and they can't stand the knowledge that anarchists hold more potential for societal change in one knucklebone than they do their entire body) because they certainly can't come up with a convincing defense for their shit. So the best they can do is throw bad faith (and stupid) rhetorical gambits like these out, because they aren't interested in constructing socialism, they're interested in deconstructing (exclusively american) capitalism and anyone who actually wants to build real socialism. Completely un-revolutionary and pathetic.

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Y’know what, fuck it, I’m angry, let’s talk about this.

I’ve been and remain of the firm opinion that anyone who’s not a Ukrainian yet expresses indignation at Russians for not going out en masse to protest the war is at best an uninformed idiot and at worst a larper with an over-inflated stock of their own willingness to stick by their stated values when facing the barrel of a gun. And I stand by that—the average Western and CEE experience with opposing their government is laughable compared to what a Russian faces. Sure, I like to soothe my ego by thinking that I’d be able to stand up to a Russia-level of suppression if the situation called for it but the honest truth is I have serious doubts. I’ve lived a life of relative comfort in a free democracy (flawed, but still), and the idea of having a government known to disappear and torture and murder its own citizens is so alien to me as to be unfathomable. In my heart of hearts, I know there’s an extremely real possibility that if you transplanted me to the modern-day Russia I’d turn out to be a coward.

But motherfucker…

If you didn’t know and thought the list of Russian atrocities needed beefing up, Russian soldiers are now opening fire at protesters in the occupied parts of Ukraine. And disgustingly, what I’ve seen pop up more and more is people targeting Ukrainians with the condescending “Ha, so now you know what Russians protesters deal with? Isn’t this a bit of a revelation for you? Don’t you feel silly for wanting Russians to stand up to their government? Are you ready to grow up now that Russian soldiers showed you how the real world works?”

To which I have only one thing to say.

Get fucking bent you revolting fucking cunts.

Equating Russian and Ukrainian civilians as though they’re both equally affected by the war has been an unfortunate trend since the war started but this is just fucking inexcusable. And what do you know, it’s fully in the line with the tendency of viewing Ukraine as a helpless pawn without any agency, as a toy of empires that never does anything on its own besides twiddling its thumbs. As though Ukrainians were handed their country on a silver platter, as though they couldn’t possibly know the risks of going up against an authoritarian government, as though their only experience with resisting tyranny is waving a banner for twenty minutes and then going to a McDonalds, risking no consequences whatsoever.

As though risking your life for freedom is a concept they haven’t encountered up until now.

Guess this shit doesn’t exist unless it can be called a CIA coup.

And this infantilisation and denial of agency, of actual accomplishment goes for Eastern Europe as a whole, btw, something I see people getting very confused about. So to relieve you of that confusion, let me make this very simple.

Soviet Union was a colonial empire run for the primary benefit of Russia, consisting of violently suppressed republics and violently maintained vassal states—who took every opportunity, time and time again, to wrest themselves free, paying for it with blood and further oppression until they finally succeeded. And yeah, you’re absolutely right—if I now go oppose the bunch of kleptocratic conservatards that make up my government, it’s extremely unlikely I’ll face any consequences for it. But that’s not because my country was somehow coincidently handed democracy as some kind of a new imperialistic exercise of the benevolent West. It’s because the generation of my parents and grandparents wanted freedom and democracy, took substantial risks to overthrow the totalitarian government, built the institutions safeguarding the democratic order, and then every single generation after that gave enough of a fuck to make sure that “I can’t go protest, I might get beaten or killed” wouldn’t be a valid concern again.

No matter how flawed, Eastern European democracies are democracies because the people there did the work to build and protect those democracies.

Meanwhile, post-Soviet Russia faced the usual problem a broken empire faces, that of what it is after the countries it exploited and suppressed in order to prop itself up gave it the finger. Russian Federation was created because the USSR outstretched itself too much to keep control over its subjects, not because ordinary Russians staged a massive popular uprising demanding a different political arrangement—unlike Eastern European countries. Russia wasn’t interested in democracy, it didn’t choose democracy, it didn’t protect democracy, and so now Russians find themselves dealing with the slight issue of having no democratic institutions to fall on during the country’s breakneck run towards fascism.

The Poles weren’t handed shit. The Estonians weren’t handed shit. The Ukrainians sure as fuck aren’t being handed shit. And I’d really fucking appreciate it people stopped turning a very simple acknowledgement of the realities facing ordinary people in current Russia into this woobification where the only thing that differentiates Russia from Eastern Europe is a stroke of luck poor Russians weren’t fortunate enough to be blessed with.

Eastern Europe and Russia are not the fucking same. Pretending like they are erases the entire history of the Eastern European struggle for freedom and plays directly into the imperialistic line of thinking both Russia and the West are so fond of. Stahp

[fairyglosses]

Worst Total Drama characters per season?

to those of you who haven't seen total drama, spoilers ahead!

ISLAND

Sadie

Even though we don't see much of Sadie during the rest of the seasons, her character doesn't thrive without Katie being alongside her. The two of them constantly play off of one another in the episodes they share together, and without Katie being her support system after she gets eliminated, Sadie's character doesn't thrive as well as it does without Katie being there.

I don't really consider her the worst character that TDI had since this is the first season we are introduced to all of the characters, but since her character was supposedly to be best friends with Katie, the scenes we see her with without Katie feel lackluster and just an excuse for the writers to get rid of her in an elimination.

I had also considered putting Eva, Ezekiel, or Justin on this list, but decided against it. Eva was a strong player who needed to work on her anger issues, as seen in later episodes. I liked her development in the special between Island and Action with the rest of the E-Scope gang, and the scenes she shared with Noah and Izzy were hilarious.

Ezekiel during the first season was a homeschooled kid who didn't know anything about the world around him, and it really showed in his development during World Tour.

Justin doesn't really do much this season except look pretty, so I couldn't really say anything about him. I loved his characterization in Action, though.

ACTION

Beth/Geoff

I love how much characterization we got for Beth this season, but with the way she treated Lindsay, calling her "tanorexic" and the way she sexually harassed Harold (she kissed him without his consent even though she had a boyfriend) during 2008: A Space Owen made her really unlikeable this season, and I would've preferred a finale with Lindsay and Harold instead of what we had gotten with Beth and Duncan.

The entire boyfriend thing with Brady this season was also really off putting because Beth talked about him ALL THE TIME. It got annoying, and even the way she tried to hit it off with Justin at the beginning at the season was just ... no.

Geoff, even though I liked him in Island, just became really unlikeable during Total Drama Aftermath with the amount of personal questions that he had asked the contestants. He makes up for it in World Tour though, showing concerns about Bridgette after Blainely sends her to Siberia.

Honorable mention this season goes to Courtney and Owen. Owen being the mole this season was a good concept on the writer's part, but I feel like this arc could've gone further if Owen being introduced as the mole earlier in the season. Courtney's comments about Duncan and her obsession with her PDA got annoying after a while.

WORLD TOUR

Sierra

Sierra's fixations on Cody really made this season unlikeable for me. She was constantly invading his privacy and made everyone around her feel uncomfortable with how much she was talking about Cody.

Even though she was a strong player (even going so far as to make it into the final four of TDWT), I just didn't find enjoyment in her character. If you've seen my post about Sierra being a villain this season, I feel as if would have been so much better for her character: she's studied these players and the plays of each season inside and out. She would've known how to work them and gotten them booted, but unfortunately, she's just the comic relief this season.

Honorable mention to Duncan this season for being the cause of him and Courtney's falling out. I know that the love triangle is one of the most iconic parts of the show, but Duncan's character got skewed after the whole love triangle arc.

ROTI

Staci

I absolutely adore the ROTI crew, but if i had to put anyone here, it would've been Staci. Staci annoyed everyone about her family the entire time she was on Revenge of the Island.

ALL-STARS

Duncan

Duncan's character this season was ... off putting, to say the least. Duncan's arc this season was all about getting Courtney back, and while I did find it adorable that he cared about her, it kind of felt out of character for him to switch sides in the middle of the season and try to convince everyone he was a villain.

Honorable mention to Sierra for the whole Camody stuff. Without Cody there, I think her character arc really altered this season since she was so dependent on technology to keep her connected to Cody.

PAKITHEW ISLAND

Dave

OH MY GOD. I've never wanted to slap a character harder than Dave. Dave had tried multiple times to get with Sky even though she was dating Keith (although I feel as if Sky would've broken up with him regardless), and seemed wayyyy too pushy for my liking, even though he was a good player in the early episodes of the season. I don't know how he survived as long as he did.

Amy and Leonard were also considered: Leonard just needed a reality check in the real world to bring him out of the fantasy world and seemed completely clueless, and Amy was so focused on bringing Sammy down that she would've been seen as a much bigger threat had she not been so focused on hating on Sammy.

RIDONCULOUS RACE

Tennis Rivals

To be honest, I was between the Tennis Rivals and the LARPers this season. The Vegans and the Geniuses were also considered, but they just seemed forgettable for me.

What makes the Tennis Rivals more suitable for the worst characters this season was because they were always competing with each other. I understand that this is a team competition, but their rivalry just seemed a bit too much.

Honorable mention to Devon this season. He just got on my nerves when his girlfriend broke up with him in the middle of the season.

[repentantsky2]

Ranking Marvel Phase 4

Excluding ranking No Way Home as I feel like I’d need to get into spoilers to do that, and What if because it’s hard to know what if any implications it has for the MCU overall, I am going to rank everything from the MCU’s current phase and give takes on why they are where they are. I’ll be doing shows, then I’ll be doing movies and the ranks will be from best to worst. My name is RepentantSky, and let’s get into it. 

1. Hawkeye. 

I really enjoyed this show. While the one plot point of getting home in time for Christmas was a little dumb and very predictable in how it ended, the twists in the shows, and the pacing at which characters were developed, introduced, or how they returned to the MCU proper, in ways I won’t talk about because again, spoilers, was really fantastic. The introduction of Kate Bishop was handled wonderfully, and the show itself didn’t try to force jokes where they didn’t belong, and hey what do you know, they actually had a positive look on larpers, further proving that it’s okay to be a nerd about something, nice! The acting and direction were phenomenal, and it was just overall an enjoyable show to watch, even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of the antagonists we see in the show, because I feel like they needed more time to be developed so we truly cared about what happened to them.

2. Falcon and The Winter Solider. 

A lot of the good things about Hawkeye, must have come from the ideas of this show. While I think it overall actually has less weaknesses than Hawkeye, I won’t lie to you and say that my ranking doesn’t at least in part have something to do with the characters involved, which will become more apparent in the next entry. That said, Falcon’s arc to becoming the new Captain America, was amazing. I like how it focused more on why he did it, rather than just instantly saying that Cap is out, so here’s his replacement, have fun. It also hit on some really serious issues that matter a lot in today’s world, and did it right, with the right actors, at the right time. The villain’s were also very compelling, and the return characters were very well handled in their new roles. 

3. Loki.

Look, I’m gonna be honest, this is where the MCU started losing me. Loki is a great character, Tom Hiddleston is an amazing actor, but he’s not main character material, or at least, Loki isn’t. It kinda shows that Disney didn’t learn anything from making Mater the main character in Cars as that franchise kept moving along. Loki’s change of character also comes out of nowhere, and ultimately, everything that happened did little overall accept let people know that certain characters exist and to remind us that branching timelines will be a thing moving forward. The show does have some positives though, such as female Loki being absolutely incredible in every scene, and references in the latter part of the series were great fun, and unlike every other show in this phase, it was actually pretty funny. I do think it has some flaws worth mentioning, but overall, it was enjoyable, but not fantastic. 

4. Wandavision. 

Yeah, I’m not even sorry, I do not like this show. I know there’s this overarching theme, and everything happens for a reason, and it’s all really well planned out, I’ve read every positive take on twitter that’s out there, but I just can’t bring myself to care. The plots of each decade are too drawn out and take up too much time in the show, forcing it to rush through the parts of it that really matter, thus giving the entire thing pacing issues. It might be have been better if I hadn’t binged it, but I binged the rest of them without any real problems, so the fact that this show suffers so much when you do, when Disney had to know that people would when it was finished, just tells me that it wasn’t handled right. The ending is absolutely fantastic, and possibly brings in the most foresight of what could happen in this phase, and moving forward, what else there might be to look forward to, but to get to that point, I had to sit through too much of plots that I didn’t care about, to get the one I did. It was a nice experiment, but in my personal opinion, it didn’t pan out as well as it was intended to. 

Now, I’m gonna talk about movies, also from best to worst, but I’m also gonna have some controversial opinions to boot, so get ready for that. Here we go! 

1. Shang-Chi. 

I love movies that take time to look into the cultures their characters come from, without making a big deal about it, because there’s no reason to. Shang-Chi I feel handles that very well. The only real problem I have with this movie, is that they put Trevor back into the plot, and he survived. That’s a reference I don’t think anyone needed, and he spends too much time in the film for being little else but a reference, and some comedy relief. The visuals, up until the end were fantastic, the comedy outside of Trevor was handled wonderfully, the characters are very likeable, and I can’t wait to see more of them, and the implications for future events were engaging. There’s nothing really wrong with this movie, which is great, because if I didn’t like it, it probably wouldn’t have inspired me to catch up with the rest of Phase 4 in the first place. If you haven’t seen it yet, go watch it. 

2. Black Widow. 

Yeah, I had to think about this one a lot. Since I’m only ranking three movies here, it made it even more difficult, especially since unlike most other people, I don’t think any of these movies are actually bad, there’s just parts of them that aren’t the best. The bad parts in Black Widow mostly come down to it trying to be like a James Bond movie, or a Mission Impossible, but not having the ability to do so, because of the way Marvel movies just always are. The introduction of new characters though, and the implementation of Black Widow I thought were handled really well, showing that Marvel and Disney really do know how to make movies and shows for characters without powers, really enticing. Obviously there won’t be anymore of these films, and for good reason, but if that’s how things have to end for Black Widow, minus ruining Task Master, which I think some people are taking way to hard, it was a good film. 

3. The Eternals. 

I don’t, actually have serious any issues with this film. The only reason it’s ranked third out of three, is because it does kind of drag here or there. However, the twists of the villain's being anything but you would think they are is really well done, and the Eternals themselves are well written, plus those mid and end credit scenes are implying some of the most interesting parts of Marvel lore that haven’t yet been introduced. But I really do enjoy the characters, the story they tell, the battles they have, and of course, the importance of life and death, and what it means for each of the characters, who all act differently towards it, despite them having similar ideals. Of course to, it is worth mentioning that we have a disabled and a gay hero confirmed, and they didn’t make a huge deal about either, and any time someone tried to, they were admonished pretty heavily for it, but I still like this film. It’s the weakest overall, but only just, and it’s still better than Iron Man’s sequels. 

And that’s my list. Do you agree? Do you think I’m crazy for ranking them the way I did? Let me know in the comments below, and have a wonderful day.

[rimechaser]

Explaining Genshin to a friend who knows nothing about it.

Spoilers.

Paimon: “Emergency Food” - Also the demon from Hereditary.

Amber: "Rabbit Archer" - The worst archer in the game. Nobody likes her. She has an explosive rabbit.

Kaeya: "Thirstbait's Brother" (see below) - I benched him because he called me a slacker.

Lisa: "Purple Witch Librarian" - Thirsty, but will also kill people who don't return their books. Reddit famous, apparently.

Barbara: "Pop Idol Priest" - Heals with holy water, makes you damp which can make you frozen. Great for burst heals and hits like a wet paper towel.

Noelle: "Battle Maid" - The more pain she causes, the more she heals, also she makes pancakes.

Fischl: "LARPer" - She read books because she had no friends and she thinks she's a princess. Her bird shoots lightning.

Jean: "Grandmaster Yeet" - Her skill is Begone Thot and she's the only woman with pants.

Diluc: "Thirstbait" - Runs a winery, hates wine, sets things on fire with a giant sword and is also Batman. He had to kill his dad at like fourteen years old or something.

Mona: "Mona, also Reddit famous" - She lets me sprint over water and sometimes I drown.

Bennett: "Unlucky Fire Kid" - His constellation is literally "Wheel of Misfortune". He has no friends.

Venti: "Drunk Wind God" - He's broke.

Razor: "Wolf Boy" - Got adopted by a wolf pack, then kicked out by the wolf god.

Klee: "Bomb Child" - Her room is called Solitary Confinement, but they're not keeping her in. They're keeping everyone else out.

Sucrose: "Green Alchemist" - I don't know what her ears are supposed to be.

Diona: "Tsundere Neko Bartender" - She hates alcohol because her father is an alcoholic so she beats up her patrons and wants to run Thirstbait out of business.

Albedo: "Probably a Homunculus" - He gave me an overpowered sword and I think he's going to destroy the world maybe.

Xiangling: "Chef With The Spear" - She had a panda that spits fire and she screams "Help! My dinner is attacking me!"

Xingqiu: "Book Nerd" - He read books about heroes and decided he wanted to do that.

Chongyun: "Popsicle Exorcist" - Talks to much, but does good dps.

Beidou: "Pirate Lady" - One time I heard her drinking and thought my cat was vomiting. Tanky.

Ningguang: "Money House Lady" - Literally the richest person. No, we can't go tour her house. Because. Reasons.

Keqing: "The Athiest" - They're not actually cat ears and people think she's Japanese. She's not.

Xinyan: "Rock Star Who's Afraid Of Frogs" - She has resting mad face and a southern accent.

Zhongli: "Broke Stone God (or Broke Money God)" - Faked his death and is planning his own funeral, power move. He doesn't know how money works and he can't make it anymore.

Tartaglia: "Gay Ginger" - He works for Russian Team Rocket and fights people for fun and he can't use chopsticks. Suffer. Broke Stone God's sugar daddy, basically.

Ganyu: "Cocogoat" - She's technically part Qilin but everyone calls her Cocogoat.

Xiao: “Demon Hunter” - He is his scars.

[blocksruinedme]

Wip Wednesday! LARPer Joel feeling crazy about Etho!

God willing and creek don't rise, this one will be out very soon, but this is motivating me! They in college, they larpers, they started hooking up during a larp (called Double Life) some weeks ago. This part is T rated, not sure if the final is T or M. I added a lot while editing it for this soooo I'm tossing in a cut tag partway through ------

Joel knew he could be kind of a lot when it came to Etho. It had become painfully obvious that Joel’s friends had grown weary of hearing him whine about Etho, possibly even more than they seemed sick of him gushing about Etho, so Joel tried to limit sharing the anxiety spirals and negative thoughts to when he was at his worst. None of his friends knew how consistently (say, every day) he felt crazy about Etho - and not the good kind of “being crazy” about a super hot ripped genius who keeps showing up at your dorm room at night to show you a very good time. Instead, he was stuck with “try your best to not become a stalker but it’s looking dicey” kind of crazy. Well, not instead, he had both kinds of crazy, and knew he might be suffering from even more kinds of Etho crazy than he realized. Etho was easy to be crazy about. 

Etho didn’t often stay the night in Joel’s cramped dorm room, and when he did he usually woke up and left early. (They never talked about it, of course, but Joel knew it was early enough that his housemates might not realize he hadn’t come home the night before. Joel hadn’t ever even seen Etho’s bedroom, which was… fine.) When Etho fell asleep before Joel, or slept in after Joel (who never slept much anyway), Joel let himself be–or at least feel like–a total creep by watching Etho sleep. Those moments were both excruciating and exquisite to Joel’s fragile heart. In the relaxation of sleep, Etho looked peaceful, vulnerable, even soft. It made Joel’s heart ache. 

The rest of the world (or at least most of it) didn’t get to see this Etho, and Joel clung desperately to that knowledge, that he was gifted with some special part of Etho. He knew he would sound crazy if he said it out loud. He knew that Etho wasn’t specifically gifting this part of himself to Joel, that he was taking it without Etho’s knowledge, but Etho felt safe enough to give Joel that access to him, and that meant the world to Joel. 

For all their sexual connection and intensity, these stolen moments in the dark were when Joel felt an intimacy he’d longed for, and lacked, in all of his ill-fated and brief attempts at connection like this. 

On the excruciating side, all those feelings reminded Joel of everything he didn't have with Etho. Being affectionate in public, having romantic things like dates and pet names, getting to introduce Etho to people and say “This is my boyfriend, Etho.” (Sometimes he said the words in his head, and then told himself to shut up.) Right now he’d settle for having literally any idea of what he could expect from Etho, of what this all meant to Etho, what he meant to Etho. They'd never even had a conversation about sex with other people, so Joel had to operate under the assumption that Etho was sleeping with an unknown number of other people. Joel didn’t even know if Etho was bi! Joel was a little surprised that he didn't feel particularly jealous about the idea – he didn't think he needed to be Etho’s Only in any regard. It wasn't about the amount of time together (though he'd love more, he’d take as much as Etho would give), it was about how they spent the time they had, how they interacted with the world, and with each other. If Etho had an actual serious public relationship, while Joel was left in limbo ,that would at minimum sting, if not devastate him. Joel felt sure he’d be happy for Etho to have a dozen boyfriends (or girlfriends, or whoever friends)... as long as he could be one too. 

Etho had never explicitly told Joel to not talk about their relationship (or whatever it was), but in public he always acted like they were just friends. It was weird, it sucked, it seemed like everyone knew anyway, but Joel was getting used to keeping up the illusion that they were just friends. Which was why it was so staggeringly unexpected, and profoundly delightful, to be awkwardly sitting next to Etho on a scratchy, lumpy couch while his hungover friends haphazardly prepared brunch. 

[blackroseraven]

I’m really not better than anyone, morally or philosophically. Certainly not literally, I’m a lemon who mainly pretends to be a dead animal online.

But like. I look at the rot in our world, and I see that all we want to seem to do is replace rotted institutions with rotted rebellion. Words - lies, mostly - valued more than actions. Someone risks their life to do something good? Well, if they have a different set of beliefs and values, then they’ll never be accepted as “one of us.”

It’s more important to be Correct than it is to do right. Loyalty tests. The Very Best represents Us, and the Very Worst represents Them.

And everyone would rather hack at the easily-pruned branches of evil rather than attacking the roots.

It’s just the exhaustion of floating in a sea of chaos, and being unable to do much to help do good about any of it. I wish I could do more, but this isn’t a world that wants a lot of help.

And the worst thing is that people want to be heroes. To fight wars, face tragedy, and overcome! It’s romantic. Until you actually start suffering consequences. Then it’s pain and outrage and terror. A lot of people don’t understand that. They go “I got death threats online!” and they talk about Real Action! and serving a cause greater than themselves but... there’s a giddiness, and a How Dare You when you question what precisely it is they’ve done, even if it’s only in passing, that brings out the ugliest parts of the human experience.

I’m not undervaluing community work. It’s the only work that matters. But oftentimes it seems like LARPers are taking on LARPers and it’s all a game to everyone until actual consequences happen, because only The Other Side would do those heinous acts!

But I don’t want to destroy one evil only to replace it with another. And too many people are blind to wolves in sheep’s clothing, or think they can control the monster they’ve created.

Pandora’s Box doesn’t close once you open it, though. And tools and weapons don’t care whose hands they exist in: only that they continue to exist.