#would like to see everyone go WILD. absolutely HAM

[ben-the-hyena]

Quick little rant y'all can ignore (I just love ranting too much)

Unpopular opinion : it is NOT to be a hipster or to be like "I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS~" but very often either I will hate or just not be interested to watch at all the newest Tumblr fandom. I really feel like a Tumblrite but sometimes it feels like I just can't enjoy or be hyped by whatever the others are hyped with without doing it on purpose, as if we have nearly no common taste. I mean sure we all are unique and loving everything others we do is boring and impossible and would prove the person is shallow and can't be true, but just, absolutely nearly every big Tumblr fanfavorites annoys me

Superwholock ? Sherlock was nice but not THAT nice and the others never interested me. HH/HB ? Loathe the characters and story. Lackadaisy ? Don't understand the hype. Nimona ? Don't care. She-Ra ? Hated it. The Owl House ? Can't stand the posts on my dashboard nor the charadesigns. Centaurworld ? I know it is one of those things that look lame in the trailer but from what I got gets deeper, but I saw it being so much overhyped I can't. Green Eggs and Ham ? Ugh couldn't it have just been the old cartoon ? Arcane ? The more people said it was revolutionary the less I wanted to check it out. SU ? I used to love it but then it betrayed me with how badly written it endes up to be. SVSFOE ? Except one or 2 arcs it was not my type and the ending infuriated me. Ducktales ? Only season 1 was good to me. Miraculous Ladybug ? It broke my heart so fuck you show. Encanto ? "Narcissic families are ok and misunderstood if they are pretty". Wendell and Wild ? The demons did look interesting and I was curious for them but sadly the main character is insufferable and Idgaf she is sad she is still an asshole but gets away with it. Wednesday ? Tim Burton understood NOTHING avout the Addams Family and flanderized Wesnesday. HtTyD ? Should have been a standalone. LOK and to be fair ANYTHING coming after ATLA books comics and upcoming series included ? Burn em to the ground. Rise of the Guardians ? Seriously the animation is gorgeous but you have the blandest plot and characters ever but everybody calls it original and groundbreaking wtf ?! Arlo the gator boy/I Love Arlo ? Ew it looks ugly as fuck and I am VERY wary of titles that self congratulate (coincidently the Lou! franchise became very shitty when it was renamed into I Love Lou Very Much so it ticks me off) makes me wanna do the contrary and hate Arlo. Carmen San Diego ? Didn't care. The Cuphead Show ? Only season 1a is good 1b and 1c are shit but because "gae devil" everybody loves it holy shit the game is better. Frozen 2 ? Admit it, you liked it ONLY because you see Elsa like a lesbian and wanted to go "HAHA GET FUCKED" to Let It Go. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON LIVE ACTION REMAKES

Some I even actually just didn't dislike it or care at first but it was seeing all the excessive posting and love for it despite 1) not wanting to watch (I love Arlo, never I wanted to kill a gator child so much force of seeing him on my dash) and/or 2) seeing legetimate problems and flaws and yet everybody ignoring it (Encanto, I hated the end but I did like the movie itself but seeing everybody justifying the end made me loathe it) it turns into hate. But some I hate from the start but seeing everybody love it anyway makes me wonder if at that rate the problem is me and I nitpick too much or of course like everyone I just have my own tastes and what pops up on my dash is not a reflect of universal taste ?

But I often call it a curse because everybody seems to have fun and it's as if I am doomed not to like and it looks like what the audience usually loves is just not my type, which sucks because I don't have many people to vent about it, not many people to gush about the obscure things I love because I am cursed to really invest myself in old fandoms I only find about now or stuff that don't even interest much people but fit my specific niche tastes, dashboards flooded with "OMG GUYS WATCH IT IT IS *SO* IMPORTANT AND THE BEST EVER" making me want not to whereas only 3 likes on posts of franchises I love that are barely known or loved... Probably why I have so many obscure fandoms actually. I am SURE it is subconsciously why I wanted to give a chance to Elemental and Avatar 2 since nobody talked about it in good or at all here !

I am not even sure and just like me those who love these franchises and are part of these fandoms must just have their own specific intersts peaked of course and if so it is absolutely alright ! But often I see they all have a pattern and I feel like, like when I ranted in my posg that defends Elemental, that they will love it and adore it just for ONE element not matter the rest hence why they only talk about that one element that irritates me when I am flooded in posts praising it but really it is just that element. "Omg so much representation" ok cool what is the plot "it is a trans allegory" yes but more precise ? "it is so GAY (affectionate) and girl power !!!" yes but ? The characters ? "Oh the characters are minorities some are LGBT half are POC and some even have a disability and they fight heteronormativity and traditional beauty standards" ok ok I GOT it but what are they like as people !?! "there is a canon gay ship in it I love them little blorbos" I DON'T GIVE A SHIT DAMMIT WHAT IS THE PLOT AND HOW ARE THE CHARACTERS "also it has a varied cast and is made by minorities and women !" Ok bye now I won't be able to help but see it being loved only because of those and not for its story and it will make me bitter about it as if there is nothing else but that to defend because it implies the scenario itself isn't that special for people to only talk about the Christmas present package rather than the content

It is very occasional I will actually get curious because it IS my type thanks to Tumblr : WOY, Pinky and the Brain Undertale, Good Omens, TDC : AOR. It needs to strike a sort of special chord in me to go "uh !?! A modern cartoon that feels like an old cartoon with funny designs and animation and funny characters !??! Uh !?! 2 gay mice that were probably not meant to be gay but they accidentally cracked many eggs in their portrayal and to think I was not interestee when I thought Brain was bidimensional and didn't give a shit about Pinky like I thought ??! Uh !?! Fun skeletons and a macho fish woman with cute pixel style !? Uh !?! Angel and demon are friends and were on Earth for years looking for a kid !?! Uh !?! In that prequel it shows one reformed Skeksis being actually good helping Gelfling and in a relationship with his Mystic ??!" And other Tumblr favorites I loved like idk FNAF, MLP FIM, Spiderverse, Puss in Boots 2, The Bad Guys and usually in general most popular big studios block buster animated movies I loved and others did were stuff I found by myself which Tumblr just coincidently did too so it doesn't count. Some I even discover them years later when the hype died down and nobody speaks about it anymore (reinforcing my idea that IS probably wrong that they don't even really love it but just go "OO SHINY" when something is new and pretty) that I can notice and love years later or at least late a franchise, like I don't wait on purpose I just really discover it at this moment or something peaking my interest only happened recently or peaked my attention now

Those aside most of the time I will really not be interested, a third of the time because "I am told to so I don't wanna" and it has to be myself or it will feel like a chore like when I am recommended stuff IRL I will actually postpone even if if I had not been recommended I would have started watching it earlier (I heard from a friend this looks like a symptom in a type of neurodivergence but I AM NOT SURE), a third of the time it really doesn't look or sound like my type of story at all and I keep wondering why there is nothing new for me and why everybody is so hyped by it, and a third I actually give a try and I end up straight up hating it or just finding it meh and overrated. I just need to find my own fandoms myself, even if they are obscure, that spark my interest, hoping they don't become bad in the end (SU, Ducktales, the Cuphead Show, Miraculous Ladybug etc. Sigh) which happened too many times already and makes me even more wary force of experience about what is popular since even when I myself find it becomes shit people still love it. And of course they totally HAVE the right to never would I harrass and police what people have to like and dislike, but it kind of feels lonely at times and sometimes it makes me think if something is wrong with me not to enjoy what seems to be enjoyed by everyone else and if it is my fault ; and thinking that even makes me anxious and guilty feeling like I am ranting for nothing and people will think I am an attention seeker making me even more gjulty and so on which becomes a vicious circle with my anxiety

[rocketrouquine]

Random thoughts on my second viewing of episode 2 :

The « you wear fine things well » replay : Taika hasn’t the same expression, when I tell you this is a different take, I’ll bet my script supervisor ass on it. If they did that, it’s for underlining the fact that they weren’t seeing the same thing in the relationship…

Stede, my sweet angel… maybe don’t tell everyone you meet (even your lovely towel collegues Maggie, Jane and Tiff) about your heart trouble with fucking Blackbeard.

The way he’s saying « they draw him to look like a ghoul » is so sooooo gay. Like disgusted sassy sista level.

Fuck you that’s how I am may or may not become a motto of mine.

Actually this whole scene, Lucius is in a fucking telenovela. The stop in the doorframe, talking across your shoulder without turning and the little disappointed head nod at the end. « oh, yeah. Now you care ? » (it just missed an hairflip) He came to ham and I’m here for it.

Sea witch again. I mean we actually saw him talking with birds last season so why the surprise.

Ed behind Frenchie in every room like a fucking dead child jumpscare in leather.

He’s actually terrifying all calm and smiling. You can sense that he can turn at every second. Like a MF snake (you know the ones, fuck yuuuuu)

Sir when you approach me like that, all analytical and stuff, I don’t think there’s anything I won’t let you do to me (imagine Ed turning this on Stede in the bedroom pffffiouuu)

*Wheeze « A panto ? » (give this man an Oscar)

I really have trouble with « he’s our dick ».. you are aware that this is the man who had absolutely no problem stranding your love on an island ? Who pushed for it, even ? That in the memory you evoke, he’s the only one not sitting with you all, all alone in the background sulking ? I guess if you consider him like the nasty old dog who bites everyone and barks all the time, I can see it…

You have hope, it’s cute . Archie is actually really interesting because she represents the classic pirate (like Ed’s crew before being Stedefied), being put amongst the crew of what she thinks is probably the rockstar of captains but they do things all weird and emotional (between bloodbaths). You can see that she’s tempted but also don’t hesitate to throw the first punch in the battle to the death because that’s how stuff goes.

Take the fucking leg (« …bitch » very much implied)

The little ships were all over the place. They kinda treat Olu like a himbo this season which if my memories serve me right was the opposite of what he was last season. (He’s still emotionally intelligent but the logical sense seems to have gone. In this scene anyway)

Every time a new character says China, I cannot take out of my mind that they are mocking Trump. (Roach’s one in particular was spot on)

Awwww Olu’s all bashful and shit, I’m sure he’s moving his shoe on the ground, like a little shy child.

Stede, All happy about the soup : So wild it’s insane ! Lucius, eyes rolling to the back of his head : Jesus Christ, Stede, keep your pants on. * gets up and go drag on his cigaret like an old nihilist prostitute. * Ahahaha! Lucius is so done with Stede, I can’t ! He reminds me of me with my mom when I was a teenager. (I was horrible)

shitty pathetic incompetent captain  Holy shit, this burn must have dried up the ocean and that’s why they have to drag the boat on land.

The Oookay of Black Pete must be studied.

I had a dream about you last night  and with that phrase, all Blackhands shippers burst into flames. To then die a horrible death for the next minutes and being turned to dust at … best I could. (Also, If I had told you about « good for you » « it was good for me » I don’t think this is how you would have envision it)

But seriously the acting in this scene was INSANE. (I mean more than good, I mean stellar)his laugh is haunting me.

Wait… wait.. is he doing the romcom trope of being horrible to him so that he would leave, to protect him ? but instead he tortures him until he has no choice but to kill him ? Ed, darling, you basic trope girl.

Yeah I guess we could call it closure. Hum.

Yeah, I am ! And I’m alone ! Don’t be like me. Stede has evolved SO MUCH. I’m actually very much hopeful about the discussion he’s going to have with Ed. It won’t be miscommunication bullshit.

The puppet game… Something tells me Lucius won’t like to listen to Pinocchio anymore. Don’t even ask him to make any voice. Stede! The hand went where you think!

Well, Hello back little black scarf which goes with everything ! Especially with the ultimate descent into the pitts of madness and despair.

Stede is choosing « alive » on Blackbeard old poster : thank you, magic of belief, for saving Ed’s life !

There’s a drawing, I repeat, he doodled Ed’s face amongst little bouts of emo poetry… oh stede.

Beheading, arsoning, just a little bit of a dick love of his life.

HE’S NOT BROKEN. SHUT UP !

calm down, you two, with the head against head : you kissed once. In the words of spicy rat boy « Jesus Christ keep your pants on »

Romance novel cover one legged indestructible little fucker Izzy under the rain.

IZZY’S HEAD ON FANG’S SHOULDER AS THEY ARE KILLING ED, WHAT !

After the pyramid scheme, Olu being the get away text.

Okay, on to the next. It will be a fucking novel.

[deramin2]

Bell's Hells as imposters:

Chetney

Travis would have so much fun. Chetney is always a bit of a wild card and Travis said on 4-Sided Dive that he loves to play by listening to his intrusive thoughts. This could be his ultimate form. Just sew chaos. Travis and Marisha have also recently come out of Candela Obscura dealing with a similar situation. I think they should get a turn at it.

Laudna

Absolutely juicy with their existing fears about Delilah. This is Laudna's nightmare scenario. She's so scared all the time about being untrustworthy but also desperately wants to be trusted and loved. Especially since one of her truths is that she doesn't know where she ends and Delilah begins. And Imogen's truth was that she's disgusted that Delilah is always watching them. (Don't unpack how you actively watch everyone else, Imogen, and took off the circlet deliberately to keep doing that.) Marisha would go absolutely ham with this. Sometimes a highly responsible woman who people rely on all the time just wants to go a little apeshit.

Fresh Cut Grass

Losing control and hurting their friends is something FCG has struggled with that's really fucked up their life and the lives of their (former) friends. They're scared that they can't be trusted, and they never can be. So this just plays right into their insecurities. What happens when their friends really can't trust them. Sam is really good at playing close to the chest. If FCG is the imposter, he's likely to sabotage them in subtle ways they won't recognize until it's too late. He may get things thrown at him (again), and he would enjoy it.

Fearne

Fearne is an agent of chaos on a good day. I think it will be very hard for the group to tell what side she's on no matter what. When she feels threatened she acts more in her own self-interest anyway. Especially when she doesn't know who else she can trust. I'm really looking forward to her either way. I think Ashley deserves to actively work against her friends, as a treat. Ashley didn't get a chance to fight the party as Yasha while she was at the table, so I think she deserves the opportunity.

Imogen

Let's be real, everyone is worried that with the moon stuff Imogen will turn on them. Either because she willingly sides with her mom in a desperate bid for approval, or because the pull of Predathos takes over. Bell's Hells are likely to be highly suspicious of her either way. Imogen's been under a lot of pressure for a while to prove she is still on their side. If she's the imposter she's likely to keep doing that, but also be working against them for real. I think Laura would have a lot of fun really leaning into this.

Imogen and Laudna being the two traitors together would be very fun because they're like 50% of each other's impulse control and it would be entertaining to see them against the world for real.

Orym

Orym is the person the group trusts the most, and who supports and believes in the goodness of the group the most. He also has contingency plans for everyone (hey Batman). I would love to see Orym get to totally snap without undermining the hope and aspiration built into the character. Plus Liam loves horror and fucked up stories and I think we'd get some phenomenal drama out of it. It would be fun to watch Orym hunt them for sport.

Ashton

Ashton probably trusts himself the least out of the group right now and his fuck-up is why they're here in the first place. They were told to their face that their friends don't trust them and that they seem in it for themselves. So I think it would be very entertaining to work through that by leaning all the way into it. Taliesin has fought the party before and it was very fun. *Slaps Ashton's back* This genasi can fit so much angst in him.

Conclusion

Everyone at the table would have a really fun time getting to work against their friends in a safe controlled environment. This is Bell's Hell's worst fear that they've been working very hard to try and prevent. They're scared of each of them turning for different reasons. This is definitely a hag's challenge. This will be so much juicy drama and angst for Nana Mori to feed off of. Whoever pulls the traitor cards is going to be a fun combo. This might break them, but hopefully it will also build them back up.

They're so afraid they can only save the world if all of them are on board and are terrified of failure. This actually lets them test it with lower stakes.

Maybe? We don't actually know what the penalty for failure is because FCG willingly had his memory of the deal erased. They haven't failed an exercise yet. So it could be that nothing happens. Or it could be that if they win all three challenges, she messes with time in exactly the way they want. But if they fail she works against them in a way that makes it more dramatic for her. Is she more a hag with a certain nature, or is she Fearne's grandmother with will protect her from all harm? We'll find out!

[halfmoth-halfman]

WHAY THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

i kid you not my boyfriend RAN when he saw my shocked face reading this chapter whilst i was cooking dinner as well lils

HE RAN.

IVE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY???? during the whole fight with Graves and Kira vs Canary all i was thinking about in my head was the song ‘beat his ass bro! beat his ass!’ GOWAN CANARYYYYY!! shank that man and that bitch up!!! 🥳🥳

PRICE???? man’s is redeeming himself omds

i’d be like SMITTEN. SMITTEN. if i was canary

and her ptsd is so beautifully portrayed!!! as another girl who has ptsd it’s so accurate and so comforting to see a proper representation of PTSD. at the height of my symptoms I was like Canary; paranoid, anxious, and had such a short fuse and i thought everyone hated me for it. but to see it portrayed so accurately and how everyone accommodates canary and her needs makes me tear up icl 🥹 every single time. with happy tears of course. so i have to thank you for the portrayal, from the bottom of my heart thank you mother mothie it’s so lovely to see.

BUT PLEASE TELL ME CANARY IS OKAY LIKE??? GIRL HAS NOT GOT A GOOD TRACK RECORDS WITH CARS

and the poor house ☹️☹️ it probably had feelings like poor house; devastated from a fictional house

absolutely wonderful again mother!! hope this wasn’t too ramble like! hope your weekend was good 🩷

– 🪼

aalsdkjas he said he wasn't invested and now look at him LOL

canary really deserves to just go ham on graves and kira tbh, like if he was capable i'm sure price would string graves up like a piñata and let canary go wild (and maybe take a few swings himself)

i know i've said it a million times but price loves her like so much, like if she wanted him to he'd probably step down from running the 141 for her. and even if she never loves him back again, he would do anything for her to make sure she feels safe and comfortable for the rest of her life, which i think canary is realizing 👀

a lot of canary's reactions and feelings are based on my own experiences and similar experiences i've seen, and the anger esp was something that really resonated with me. and like she knows she's being mean, and she doesn't want to be, but she doesn't have a way to really work through those emotions and that trauma yet. and i think the 141 knows that she's going through something and it'll help once graves and makarov are gone, so they're a little more lenient and willing to be there for her despite her jabs at them. plus, y'know, the guilt.

but it's also a little self-indulgent way for me to see a character getting the comfort and patience i wish i would've gotten when i was going through something similar. i'm so glad canary and what she's going through and how she's slowly healing feels real enough to resonate with people. it's something i always worry about because i know reactions and processing aren't the same for everyone, but it's comforting (ig??) to know that people find her realistic.

it's a happy ending so i feel like i have to say she's okay, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see......tho i wouldn't blame her if she decided to stay away from cars for a while

the house def hurt to write, but we don't know the full damage yet right??? it could still be salvageable!!!!

this wasn't too much of a ramble at all, i always love answering your asks!!!! i hope you have an amazing day and that you enjoy the final chapter!!!! 💜

[gracelogan]

if you're not up to chapter 325 turn away now... also if you're not down for swearing cause I'm Australian and I've gotta rant and the two go hand in mf hand

Holy motherfucking shit I fucking knew William was gonna die. One because it's the only way to push John to take action by his own will rather than reacting because that's what he thinks is safe for him to do and two because.. well actually just one but one is one to fucking one hundred because oh my fucking god is John gonna lose his absolute shit

But, but I think he's not gonna go all wild ham on people this time. No I think he's for sure learnt his lesson and is gonna just smash shit to pieces with a plan this time. He's got a good fucking network to support him which appeared after his worst mental break down ever, his uncle is gonna get involved and finally meet John and he'll at least not be asshole enough to throw him away because John's powerful but he might disregard him cause he's a child and might assume John's takes after William if he does no research... honestly the guy doesn't fill me with a lot of faith and I t think he's going to be a bad influence on John or at least get him in some deep, deep shit it'll take Arlo to get him out of if he's not been 'reeducated' by his aunt which is beginning to look like a strong possibility

also Arlo needs a fucking nap. Arlo almost deserves a fucking nap too. Poor little idiot doesn't realise he's being taken for a ride by his aunt which I feel like he might have if he didn't look two minutes from keeling over.

John was doing so fucking well too. ugh this is gonna be like five giant steps backward if he were fifty feet tall and two steps behind him was a bottomless ravine. Please let my optimistic guess be right in that he stays with his people and they stay with him, he fucking needs them in two chapters more than ever (cause I don't think they'll reveal it to John in the next one, drag out the suspension)

Fucking loved Arlo and John's interactions in the last few chapters, fav ship for sure out the series but John's starting to get regular friendly with him again and that's so cute and fluffy I can't even handle it. There's Arlo angsting his way down the hall noticing everyone else bitching about him and then John appears out of nowhere all happy to see him and concerned of this wellbeing.

Kind of says something about his character though too, that he notices the mob instead of the individual with power.

but also I fucking knew everything was about to go to shit when they got a seemingly big win. With William gone it's the end of the line for John staying as out of things as he can and well, despite his methods he does get shit done rather efficiently. All we can hope is that Arlo comes to his senses and joins John before John has to break him out of reeducation prison which would be an amazing arc for John finally overcoming his trauma and ideally murdering Keon

probably though Sera will get caught and sent to reeducation, Arlo will lose faith in his family and the system, confess to John who has likely just heard about the murder of this father or is just about to hear about it and John will spiral wildly out of control and take everyone and everything down with him as he does and somehow it will work itself out but with people actively trying to help him

side note, I did also love John's interaction with Remi, Blyke and Isen. Isen's face when John tells them his dad wrote UnOrdinary is like 'everything I learn about you makes it worse please stop I'll go to jail for knowing anything more'

[drkineildwicks]

Palworld - 5/18/2024 - It's been worth every meme

So looking at it the last I talked of this game was in February

I’ve been busy since then

Starting with I’ve found the upper limit on how many Pals you can own

I’ve been hatching a lot of eggs

Found out you can also hatch alphas from eggs

And if I’m not hanging out in one of my bases (finally built a second one) I’m out riding around on one of my pals and hunting

There's something oddly satisfying about riding around on one of your Pals and sniping wild Pals and bad guys for loot

But I do agree with everyone who wants to be able to turn the hip lantern off because dang that thing gets bright and ruins the ambience

Favorite thing to do when I run into the fire brotherhood guys is to get up high on a flying Pal and throw down a grenade or two

Since those dudes favor flamethrowers you’re always guaranteed to get two explosions

Also hunting certain locations to get small Pal souls to boost my guys

And about once a play session I run into a Lucky

Firstly I want to thank Palworld for giving us a persisting audio cue for Luckies because I’ll be cruising along and suddenly hear the lucky shine

Me: oh goodness where???

One time the Lucky was behind a structure and I had to fly around a bit to find it

Unlike, say, scarvi where they made shinies less accessible

Look I played Pokémon pretty faithfully from Gen III to Gen VII and when I say that I mean I played just about every single game they pumped out so I’m allowed to give the multimillion-dollar company grief

But thus far I’ve only failed to get two Luckies: a Ribunny and a Cawgnito, and both were because they absolutely killed me and then despawned before I could get back to the area

They still haunt me

Did finally get around to beating the first tower boss

Waited too long because I absolutely smoked her

I’ve also been working on filling out the map and tracking down all the boss monsters

And raiding dungeons for ores and dungeon bosses

My second base was/is basically built around ensuring that my chonky alpha/lucky Pals have plenty of room to move around

Also I’ll make them the big beds and this happens

She deserves it tho

Raids are no longer a problem because I got Mossanda Lux and the grenade launcher

The Kung-Fu Panda trilogy would have been a lot shorter had Po had a pair of grenade launchers, let’s be real

Yes I’ve said skadoosh a couple times while doing this

Basically you go outside of your base area to avoid damage to said base, aim where they’re all running up, and go ham

I have had to stop doing this to boss Pals tho because electric Po will blast them clean out of bounds and since you can’t go through the wall and they can’t go through the wall you have to leave and reset the dungeon

Also after a lot of hunting and hatching (and then selling Pals to dealers who don’t have guillotines right next to them) I have either Luckies or Alphas for all three of the follow-type Pals

Presenting the squad, consisting of two Luckies and two Alphas

But back to filling out the map—after a couple of tries I was working on filling out the volcano map today

Found one of the mineshafts that leads down to a big boss, decided to go down and see if I couldn’t sneak a peak and see how strong it was

Long claustrophobic shaft with lava dribbling down

Get to the end—“Oh, an egg!” up on top of a little ledge right before the final turn

Climb up and grab it—

I get blasted by this

Now understand that I did not see this

I turn and see this dark cave shaft, the fire in its wings, and its eyes, and that’s it

So that’s an encounter that’s gonna haunt me for a while

Anyway game of the year 2024 looking forward to new updates please let one of those be expanded inventories I don’t like selling Pals ;^;/

[myrfing]

Regarding all your everything about today's WoL question xD

Yeah I get you ;w; like I do think it's fine if like ... That's how they write their WoL -- if their WoL perceives their relationship with the Scions to be not great. And often times I have to remind myself that how their WoL perceives it =/= how the player actually perceives it. But sometimes people do insist that the Scions don't really care about the WoL and that does make me a little sad fjdkskf. Especially after everything in ShB and EnW.

But. That's them and I have my own thoughts, so. Poyo ... Sometimes I wonder if FFXIV is as free as people say ... There wouldn't be so many interpretions of the WoL and their relationships with the Scions otherwise, but I'm a little rigid about the WoL + Scions relationships I see in the wild?

Also sorry for, dumping thoughts into your inbox. You might have noticed a bunch of new notifs as of late but I'm shy so. /Rolls away

OH. HI first sorry for being so gung ho about my opinions I do recognize some people put conflict between their wol and scions because their wol is just meant to have issues and complexities about anything from their goals, to heroism, whatever. Some of my favorite wols/writers in the fanbase have written their little guy to completely reject being the wol and the scions, to have run away and be very bitter and angry towards even the gentlest attempts to get them back, and I love what they wrote.

I do personally think though that the msq is a very linear and somewhat rigid story, and a lot of people just sort of…struggle with that. Maybe cus they like the antagonist characters more, maybe because they disagree with the scions politics and goals, maybe the story just doesnt work with what they want for their wol, maybe they just don’t plain like the scions as people and end up feeling like they’re being “forced” to do all this crazy shit “for their sake” when nothing they want aligns with the scions. like I have issues with the scions and always had since arr and to a point I suspend my disbelief but. A lot of people seem to think yeah none of this WAS worth it a majority of the game is boring ridiculous bs and I only liked amaurot/whatever. and they want this to be the reality for their wol without blame, for them to have a good reason to blame others that just…doesn’t really exist. So then all the quests and trials are just an unwanted burden, even though…this is just the leap of faith you give towards a video game that asks you to play it. like game mechanics suddenly are a personal affront, minfilia asking you to turn in a quest to her becomes an indication of her like, moral failings and inconsiderateness, alphinaud being gung ho about better eorzea is just a marker of how he’s a coldhearted despotic 16 year old dragging around your sad chained up angel wol strongest person ever btw with a leash. but instead being like oh yeah I want a canon divergence big time from the get go a weird number of people just preach their wildly poor faith readings about fairly mild and well-meaning characters as truth LMFAOOO. which like, sure, everyone go ham and have fun, but I see a lot of resulting complaints directed at the writers with weird amounts of vitriol. like oh the fucking scions are cruel ingrates towards garlyman1 and the writers wont let me yell at them for it in the new patch, they don’t know what they’re doing with their own themes. in the future i want the option to say/do [shit that would be absolutely wild for the character known as “Thee WoL” to suddenly say with no buildup and is entirely substantiated on their oc’s story]. like people legit turning on ishikawa WHOOO is not a perfect writer by any means but for just running with the basic premise that “the wol and the scions are friends and they want to do good by the world”. and this thing is the basic impetus that progresses you along the entire story and lets you experience its content. Some people have expressed such heavy disgust at this basic ass core thing that you had to play along with to play the game since you first spoke to the scions that I just…????. I guess it makes me think like do you actually LIKE the story or. did you go through 263836822 hours of it just hating the vast majority of it. which would be less weird if the game wasn’t so long and expensive and didnt require so much deliberate choice to keep playing.

and admittedly this is just me turning my nose up at shit out of my own tastebuds but some people will reach to make any character who in canon is like, just some guy living life, into bizarrely evil total fucking incompetent or manipulative assholes who are obsessed with making the wol’s life hell and whose entire existences revolve around making the player specifically the…biggest victim I guess. like jesus on the cross shit. every day wake up eat my cereal traumatize the wol who bears the weight of all the worldly sins because nobody thinks they are just #human and are content to let them suffer alone. and I personally find that uber masturbatory and weird in any writing lol. in the end I think a lot of what people write and how they write it is a communication of ideas and if that idea is “everyone sucks and is so mean to me the most sane and rational and human one of all time” and if you have to reduce the humanity of other characters to bolster yours to the point they have no resemblance to their original selves im going to be like your ideas fucking suck dude. also sorry this turned into another humungo rant it is cool to have you share your thoughts with me and i dunno if this is anything for making a distinction or finding the balance between “player freedom to write their own story” vs. actual misinterpetation. in the end i dont know what’s going on in people’s heads for sure

[xavidotron]

Hi Xavid! You want to know a funny, two-ships-in-the-night, interaction between people we would have never known? You reblogged a post from me a couple of days ago, and I ran The Importance of Being Convergent yesterday! I had such a blast playing that I wanted to say hi, and Tumblr is my social media of choice so I was scrolling to make sure you hadn't abandoned your Tumblr years ago, and saw my post and I just thought that was funny.

ANYWAY, hello! I just wanted to tell you how much I love Convergent. I've run it twice now (in February 2020 at Strategicon in LA, what was supposed to be the first of many, whomp whomp) and then yesterday at my house, and I and my players loved it. It's so well written and fun to play -- all of the characters are so inventive and fun and have amazing connections to each other, and I think the gem mechanic is brilliant as a "thing" for them to be doing.

Also, not for nothing, I appreciate how gender neutral and queer-friendly the game is -- it's hard enough wrangling twelve people to get together, much less twelve people in a specific gender arrangement (and doesn't exclude non-binary folks), and my friends circle is definitely one that appreciates being able to love anyone in a game without issue.

Yesterday they ended up elevating Earth above all others, and then Ceranest chose fka Quan Northwind to replace him as Ruler. By far the best moment in the game was when Ceranest and Cleric Alder had just gotten the entire room together for the Questions and were trying to get everyone to vote on the first one, and Cilac yelled "NO! I CHALLENGE MIM KINDRIL TO A DUEL!" And everyone gasped and Mim, who had literally NO idea she was part of a love triangle, was like "Wait, what? Me? Why?" And Cilac pointed to Essap and said "Because she says you mistreat your employee Burl!" So they rolled dice (Mim won, Cilac very dramatically acted out losing), they voted on the Questions, and as they were breaking back up Mim walked up behind Essap and said "Darrad?" and Essap turned around and said "Burl?" and they ran into each other's arms. Truly couldn't have written a better scene.

I don't know if this is something you would ever tinker with again for a publication or anything -- if you'd like I have a couple of very minor things I slipped into the briefing of my second running that I think made it run a teeny bit smoother, but I don't want to give notes if you don't want them.

Anyway, thanks so much for truly an amazing day of fun. I'll definitely be checking out your other LARPs. I think I'm running Bully Pulpit Games' "The Climb" at Strategicon next month (It's not a huge con, 6 players is about all you can absolutely count on to show up, especially as a newer GM without a reputation) but all of my friends who played yesterday said they'd love to do another one, even the people who didn't have any RPG experience at all, so I think I'm definitely going to get the gang back together again.

Cheers!

Sam

Thanks so much for writing! I'm glad y'all had fun! The Importance of Being Convergent is one of my favorite games I've written; it's actually pretty wild how well it's worked over its various runs given how it was written by two folks in a blizzard in 24 hours. It's definitely fun to see how differently different runs can go, and seeing people ham up their ridiculous drama.

I don't know that I'm likely to revise it substantially at this point, but I'd still be curious for your feedback, and if I'm inspired I might add something to the version on Itch.

Anyways, thanks for letting me know, it makes me happy that Convergent is still generating good times and origami butterflies after all these years!

(For anyone who's curious The Importance of Being Convergent is available for free here: https://xavid.itch.io/convergent)

[dilfbatman]

seeing everyone talk about hoo rewrite hc’s i would like to join and add a few hehe

- i won’t reiterate what everyone’s been saying bc they’re all correct and right (no frazel, no racist/sexist shit about piper, hazel, reyna) no forced outing of nico, no weird “i’m alpha” shit between jason & percy, and overall better leo’s whole arc etc...

- i would swap annabeth’s godly parent (so pjo rewrite) i think having her being a daughter of nike (a minor goddess) would be far more interesting/is fitting for her! her desire to be first, number 1, always win, and having her pride and need for victory be a part of who she is! and in pjo she would have been in the hermes cabin thus making her relationship w luke stronger, therefore making his betrayal hurt that much worse (also for fun in hoo she’d have a crush on piper and play into the whole cocky yet nervous daughter of nike who only wants to be the number 1 in piper’s heart hehe)

- instead i would want to put a black child of athena i think that them within the story would be so interesting and their intelligence is not only of extreme use, but they can offer strategies and ways to get out of dire situations in the skip of a heartbeat! plus i think they’d be great friends w leo & hazel!

- i would like to add more minor/underworld/primordial god kids! i wanna see children of eros (primordial), thanatos, hecate, nemesis, nike, hebe, hypnos, erebus, nyx etc... i think they’d be SO much cooler than to see just kids of the 12 olympians and to see how some of them interact w the 7 + nico & reyna! (son of eros & thanatos & hecate interacting w nico and hazel - son of eros helping nico, son of hecate helps hazel to control the mist, son of thanatos being friends w nico & hazel and feeling a connection w them? daughter of nemesis battling w her internal of struggle whether she hates percy or not and how she’s seen how it’s affected her brother? son of hebe being best friends with leo and relates to his fun spunk? son & daughter of erebus being the antithesis of jason yet seeing his kindess and respect and how he subverts their ideals of a how a son of jupiter/zeus would act? children of nike meeting frank & reyna and look at how strong & good at combat they are and seeing future sparring partners?

- i am. a narcissus apologist he deserves a better and well rounded character arc - i want to see him full of anger sadness and despair and how demigods feel the guilt of fighting him and forcing him to look into his reflection and see him sob bc it’s too much and he didn’t deserve to be held down for eternity! here’s @hazelmagix’s take on it: here’s one, and another, and it makes me sad

- eros is the protector of homosexual love! it would have been better to see him protect and speak to nico and give him advice - he protects young men! it would have been different to see this side of him rather than the mischievous terrifying one the gods know (as the god are actually frightened by eros) and also! no thanatos in chains!

- if you’ve read tsoa then this is for you but for the curse of achilles scene i wanted tsoa!achilles so bad omfg seeing a young man who is the cautionary tale of bearing the curse and who’s THE most famous and one of the most tragic demigods (and how he’s the opp. spectrum of percy bc he let go of his humanity and therefore losing everything he knew and loved) and having percy recognize that would have been heartwrenching and how achilles not only lost his life & honor but something more important to him aka PATROCLUS!

- for fun i wanna see a “sons of apollo” group that has a fun rivalry w the “hunters of artemis” that has so substance for bettering hoo it’s just something i wanna see JDJDJDJD and also........ let the hunters have lesbians! people have pointed out how it’s ridiculous to kick them out and also that they’re all so young so artemis has to make sure that they wanna join which would change the concept fundamentally! i think hunter thalia meeting praetor amazon reyna would have been insanely cool and them being gf’s!

- i love valgrace! i’d love to have seen it! peak friends to lovers trope but first and foremost leo learns how to find self love and be secure in himself and his friends help him! so does the son of eros & son of hebe & hazel & piper! and i wanted to see certain friendships within the two camps like percy & leo, jason & annabeth, piper & will, hazel & charlie, piper & silena, the stoll brothers and dakota, frank & clarisse etc...

- not me realizing that i didn’t add iconic takes from @bunkernine & @hazelslevesquee! caitlyn the foremost icon of the TLH trio her takes are over here! and pearl already has ideas about hazel :’)

- i wanted octavian to be an absolute BASTARD, complete antagonist, just despicable! one of my fav scenes of his was when he told percy that he hoped the roman brand hurt which is entirely fucked up and dark and i love a villainous character! he was a little bitch in hoo when he deserved to be a bad bitch! a legacy of apollo who has the worst qualities of apollo himself and who the “sons of apollo” consider an absolute travesty to the name of their patron!

- the gaea fight bro......... what was that??? we needed TENSION, I WANTED ACTION, SHE’S A PRIMORDIAL GODDESS AND IS SUPER POWERFUL! we should have that battle be even more dangerous and tension filled than the battle of kronos and were ROBBED! we should have seen aphrodite’s war side, the extent of damage the big three kids could do, minor god kids weren’t considered to be all that strong but are LETHAL in battle! i wanted sm more from this battle it was WEAK in the books smh we deserved better! and there’s probably way more i’d change but my brain is no thots head empty rn but that’s all i have for now hehe

[melrosing]

Hey hey! What do you think Jaime’d’ve done if he’d found Arya in AGOT…? We know what he thinks he’d’ve done but also he isn’t exactly the clearest assessor of his own actions?

Tbh that’s a tricky one lol. Jaime is sincerely expressing the fear that he might’ve done it, and that can’t be dismissed; it’s possible that he might’ve switched out of that headspace in the moment, like when he plans to smack Brienne over the head with an oar lmao (god two timelines, one where JB become the Lovers and one where Jaime just whacks her across the head and sails away), but the chapter ends on this note, so I think we as readers should understand that if nothing else, Jaime was out there fully intending to kill or maim a kid.

However, people often read that as just the way Jaime was preseries, which isn’t true - rather, I think he’s in a uniquely fucked up place in AGOT. Like honestly, he’s probably slightly traumatised over what he did to Bran - and no sympathy for that lol, but I think that’s what the chaotic behaviour in AGOT spouts from. He’s never done anything like that before (I.e. attempted murder of an innocent), and I think it’s the first time he’s had to wonder if he is actually as awful as everyone thinks he is + his relationship with Cersei perhaps isn’t this beautiful secret but something vile that ends them up in situations like this. So with the trauma of attempted child murder (yes I’m serious), the identity crisis and the survival mode he enters subsequently because now his entire family is in danger, he goes Wild.

Atonement isn’t an option (any level of admission to the act would put his whole family in mortal danger), so I think Jaime just decides he’s not going to bother with reckoning with the act and his guilt, and instead, using the Ultimate Going Away Inside, he just goes absolutely ham and starts embodying the villain everyone believes him to be: because perhaps he is that guy after all. Perhaps Cersei is all he has to live for. Perhaps a child’s life really is nothing to him. I think that’s where he’s at when Cersei asks that of him. He’s just like, ‘might as well’. There’s nothing going through his head but Cersei, that’s all he has room for without utterly losing the plot.

Again, maybe he would’ve seen Arya and come to his senses, but I can’t quite assume that lol. He might’ve done it. All that I’ll say is that that is Jaime at quite a… unique point in his story, not his pre-series default, and the horror and incomprehension he’s reflecting on that with is worth noting. He’s telling Ilyn because he needs someone to know what he did - I think all his conversations with the guy are Jaime trying to poke at the worst parts of himself and seeing if he’s even worth salvation.

[roscgcld]

HEADCANONS + GOJO SATORU || sweet but ‘scary’ s/o

request: How would Satour react if crush/future s/o was sweet and caring person, but could turn into a deadly assassin badass when they need too?

note: i feel like you’re a returning requester because the of the typo for gojo’s name lol. I see you reappearing in my inbox so much. i’m chilled with it, it makes me happy that you enjoy my writing enough to come back c: i did change the request a little cause i couldn’t finish it after writing half of the headcanon lol - so i hope you don’t mind c:

i based this around this post!

pronouns: them/they

everyone knows you as the ‘sweet and warm sensei’ that everyone can turn to when things start to get too much

a parental figure that will listen to their issues without judgement, or feeling the need to give them advice; just someone who they can just rant to without needing to hear anything back in reply 

on days where they are just overwhelmed with work, you’d come into the study room with bags of snacks, asking if they want to go to the rec room in their dorm for a well deserved break

you’re the same for your co-workers/fellow graduated classmates - when you were a student in the college, you are considered as the sweet and caring senpai who bakes snacks for everyone

so you cannot believe their shock when you had gotten together with gojo - to which everyone threatened gojo at least twice to take care of you; unless he wants to feel their wrath 

and i headcanon that even though gojo always claims that he is the ‘strongest sorcerer alive’ - an angry shoko never fails to send shivers of fear up his spine

but in general, after awhile they realised that somehow, you managed to tame the ‘wild and rambunctious’ gojo satoru into becoming your doting and ever loving boyfriend. who is still a huge pain in the ass, but at least he is loyal lol

you’d help to do the group laundry on your off days because you hate the idea that everyone is running out of fresh clothes, whilst teaching nanami and haibara how to use the washer and dryer (cause nanami gotta learn how to be the perfect man from someone)

on days when you’re on dinner duty, no one misses them because you cook the best and most warmest meals for them all - makes them miss home a little less

although you always have this super sweet and caring front, there was a side to you that gojo had never told anyone of; it’s nothing bad. but when he first saw it, he was definitely taken back

he witnessed it when you are sent on a mission together - there were a group of troublemaker kids who had entered an abandoned hospital that had been inhabited by a Special Grade that seemed to be trapping them inside

so you two were sent to go and retrieving the kids if they are alive, but your job is to exorcise the curse no matter the outcome 

gojo knew that you hated that answer, so he allows you to drag him about the many hallways of the school, trying to find the young kids before the curse gets to them

when you found them, your motherly side came out as you fussed over the sniffling and crying kids; using the small first aid kit you had on your person of all time to help them clean and bandage any scratches and wounds they had on their body

gojo was annoyed that you seemed so focused on the kids, but he still stood guard like you had asked him too; arms crossed and an annoyed pout resting on his face

he was about to whine to you again, asking when you’re done when he freeze at the sudden strong source of Cursed Energy that was radiating from somewhere

he had just turned to warn you when a sudden blur passed him, causing him to blink his eyes in shock as he glances over at where you were moments ago; only to be faced with equally shocked kids

“wha-” he mutters before he turned to poke his head out the classroom you had taken refuse in, just in time to see you with your weapon drawn and already stabbing the Curse without hesitation

he was stunned at the sight of his lover, his sweet and kind bunny, going absolutely ham on the Curse; exorcising it within a second

gojo just stared at you in shock, which was rare as it is; his mouth parted in awe as he watches as you dust yourself off and made your way back towards him; your kind smile painted on your features once more

“well - shall we leave then?”

gojo had gone back to the college with you after you had dropped the kids off with the cops; unsure of how to bring up at how different you were when you are serious and have your head in the game

because of this, he had never really told anyone about this side of you; since he really saw no reason to reveal it. he just learns to accept it, and that it is just another part of you that he loves as much as he loves you

fast forward a few years, now you and gojo have been together ever since the third year of high school; having raised megumi together as a couple, and had officially became one of the teachers of the school

many of the students had yet to see this ‘side’ side of yours. whilst people like nanami and ijichi had seen it first hand; and had both unanimously decided to never piss you off

however, your beloved students just saw you as the sweet sensei who made them muffins and cakes on their birthdays, who teaches them things they’d need to know to become an adult

you’re a familiar pillar that they can lean on during the darkest of times; so they never believe when Yaga-sensei or Nanami try to tell them that beneath that kindness there is something that they should watch out for

the students cannot imagine their kind and soft-spoken sensei to be this scary killing machine that is known to be one of the best sorcerers to deal with heavily infested areas

they had no reason to believe so - until Yaga-sensei had approved for them to shadow Gojo-sensei and you for your latest mission

they stood at the side with Nanami and another First Grade Sorcerer to watch as the both of you entered the abandoned office block on the outskirts of tokyo

you had noticed the students, and after giving them a warm smile and wave you and gojo made your way inside of the building as the curtain was completed; blocking the outside world from looking in

at first the students were not sure what they were actually waiting for, since they couldn’t really see any action from where they are standing - which was the entire reason for their trip 

they questioned nanami as to why they had to stand at such a distance away, but nanami just held his hand out and told them to be patient and wait for a few more moments

suddenly there was a huge bang! before what seemed to be a figure shooting out from the exploding rubble; a manic glint in your eyes as you spun your weapon in your hand so it pointed downward as you started to fall 

the students watched in horror and shock whilst you seemed to be having the time of your life, gojo just standing behind you with a soft grin as he protected your back; yet made no real move to get in your way 

they watched in horror at the sigh of you exorcising the Curses around you without hesitation, a dark and determined look shining in your eyes. a far cry from the sweet smile you always have on your face

no one knew what to say as they continue to watch as you exorcise the masses of Curses. too shocked to really process everything happening before them. even megumi was stunned, since he had never seen this ‘dark’ side of you before

whilst gojo looks like he was having a blast, even cheering you on from the sidelines, nanami was just shaking his head with a tired sigh

“so much for ‘educational purposes’,” nanami hummed tiredly as he turned to the other first grade sorcerer, who just smiles back in response. “shall we grabbed some hot chocolate for the kids? there is a cafe that we passed whilst driving over here.”

when the other person agreed the two of them started to usher the kids away, nanami waving off gojo’s whine of how he was going to be missing the best parts

“you fawn over your lover by yourself, gojo - i am going to make sure the kids don’t go into further shock then they already are.”

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform.

[rainofaugustsith]

So in playing through Echoes and Secrets again...yes, I'm microanalyzing, but I'm so bored, I'm so tired and I've got a case of the Sads, so bear with the distraction. SPOILERS FOR SWTOR UP TO AND INCLUDING 6.3, SECRETS OF THE ENCLAVE. Point One, why were all of those spirits there? Are they living in Satele's mind? Or the Commander's? Nope. Anyone ever see the old Nightmare on Elm Street movies? Freddie's power comes in part from the fact that he literally takes the souls of those he murders. They're literally connected to him until they're finally freed. And we know from several points in the game that Vitate is also fueled by death. It's not too much of a stretch to think that the souls of all the people he's killed or possessed are bound to him and he's using their power to fuel his "recomposition." Valkorion takes between one and three people's souls in KOTET to power himself up. Scourge says that Revan's spirit will not be free until Tenebrae is dead, which backs this up. Point Two: I have said that I really think we're going to be looking at a choice between a more extremist/intolerant path or a more inclusive/peaceful/eclectic one on both sides, with Satele Shan and Darth Krovos representing the more inclusive and Gnost-Dural and Rivix/Acina/Vowrawn representing the extremists. Malgus, *cough* Syl, Arn and Rivix are the wild cards. More things I noticed this time: 1. Nobody's calling Satele "Master" or "Grandmaster" anymore. 2. Satele's students are not called padawans. 3. I've noticed before that Satele has absolutely no part in Task Force Nova, the Jedi Order or the Republic's plans. She's not up on the holo for that meeting at the end of Secrets of the Enclave and nobody's mentioning her. 4. Gnost-Dural makes zero mention of Satele and her students' ordeal with Tenebrae. Like, none. 5. Satele's students are conspicuously NOT dressed like traditional Jedi or padawans. Except - Aryn Leneer, who is snubbed in the meeting by Obnoxious Jedi Dude, is invited to work with Satele. She lets you know in a letter later on. And she more or less point blank says she doesn't want to work with the Jed and they don't seem to want her, but Satele is cool, so... To me this makes so much sense. Satele walked away from the Jedi Order entirely and has spent years dialoguing and researching all sides of the Force. She would likely want no part of Gnost-Dural's desire to annihilate the Sith or his recruitment/hunting drive to push the Jedi back into battle. The current art of SWTOR shows Satele looking...well, less Jedi-like...I almost wonder if, like Krovos vs. Rivix, we're going to see Satele's style coming into conflict with Gnost-Dural's. For instance - Satele has Force sensitive students. Who do not appear to be Jedi or back in the war effort. Gnost-Dural says point blank that he feels it's every Jedi's duty to defend the Republic in war. Is he going to try to conscript Satele's students or conflict about that? What about Arn? There's the possibility that Arn will flip to some sort of out of control Dark Sider, a la Anakin, but given his comments on Dantooine, there's also the possibility IMHO that he can find a middle ground - that he is disgusted with the Jedis' actions and ends up with Satele's group instead without going ham on everyone. Or joining the Alliance, with the same outcome. Quite honestly I'd really prefer than for Arn.

[bansheeoftheforest]

I absolutely adore the idea that Jekyll doesn't have any memory or knowledge of going hungry feral. Only for the lodgers to one day see him. Helsby gets knocked out by a tentacle and they decide to move a safe distance away to continue watching. Once feral Jekyll is done he just, speeds off, way to fast for them to see where he went

The next morning they decide to ask Jekyll about it, only for Henry to give the most genuinely confused look they've ever seen. So they decide to simply stalk him. They find Jekyll in his office writing paperwork at like midnight when suddenly he just,, poofs up. And runs straight towards the kitchen on all fours in a very fast and distinctly non human manner

-

*adds more commas to 🍭🧟‍♂️ while you aren't looking*

I love the thought of Helsby experiencing this and being the only one that has to deal with Henry, like, no other lodger believes him so he has to stalk Henry himself to see wtf he is up to. He goes on like normal with his day and for a while, Helsby wonders if he hallucinated the entire thing, but no, he very clearly has a wound/suction cup bruise from getting knocked over and it's way too small to be the repair kraken. He is almost about to give up when he sees how Henry seems to almost get possessed; he throws his head back and whimpers until there clearly is something very wrong with him, suddenly he is crawling out of his office like some sort of animal, almost glowing and Helsby can clearly see markings glowing under Henry's shirt. Question is... Would he try to stop him? Would he try to get other Lodgers to come see so they will know he wasn't lying or joking about it? Would they try to stop Jekyll from going absolutely wild on the ham that Rachel saved for dinner the next day? I'd love it if no one believed Helsby and everyone is just like "huh, weird! Food keeps disappearing and there are tentacle marks on the fridge!" only for Helsby to almost rip his hair out <3

--

I will Find You, and I Will Kill You <3 /lh

[lesserfandomappreciation]

This is probably a tall order, but I was wondering if you could do some general personality headcanons for the Deadly Six from Sonic Lost World? It hurts my heart that the characters weren't more popular, but I can understand why at the same time since they're not that fleshed out. I mean, there's hints of stuff here and there, it's just not much. But the zeti have potential, damn it! Let me know if you want some specifics on things, of if you wanna do this in pieces. Thanks for your time~

WORLD BUILDING! World building and character building is my ham so I’m thrilled to do this! This actually become significantly longer than intended. 

So I have never played this game, so I’m basing this exclusively off a few cutscenes I managed to find and general initial impressions. Let me know if you want something more in-depth!

Deadly Six reimagined (Sonic Lost World)

General

The Zeti race as a whole is referred to as “demons” with the Deadly 6 appearing to be the deadliest of their species. Heavily implied in the game is the fact that the Zeti are a lethal, violent race taking pride in practiced malevolence. 

An entire race being evil or amoral is not only an outdated trope, but one with really icky origins so knackers to that I’m throwing in some of my own world building. 

Based on how the Deadly 6 are all either disciples of or literally Master Zik, the reimagined!Zeti race is less malevolent so much as focused on attainment of glory and recognition. Every person is expected to discipline themselves into a strong, powerful being capable of great achievements. Competition is rampant with rivalry being imposed from a young age. 

Despite rivalry, those who study under a common Master consider themselves as a structured force or clan representing their Master and his/her/their ideology. Master Zik in particular holds the ideology of complete domination of foes and enforcing the strength that already exists. Those who come across his clan often get the impression the Zeti exist to conquer when really, it is only in response to what is done to them to remind people not to mess with them. 

Zeti are driven by the goals of communal recognition; challenges make individuals stronger, thus reinforcing the people as a whole. Spar-matches and challenges are inherent in the society. Clans and individuals alike compete to bring glory. 

But. There is an unspoken rule amongst the Zeti that keeps things from ever turning to a full blood bath. Zeti do not turn against their own Clan or family (both if they are one in the same as is the case with many). The idea of any Zeti attacking a sibling in learning or a relative is unheard of - any who did that are considered dishonorable and risk expulsion as a whole from society. 

Master Zik

Utter the name “Zik” in any Zeti plaza. Previous foes will wilt in cowardice. Pride from their allies puffs up further. The average Zeti, neither friend nor foe, will still be able to share a tale or two of one of the greatest warriors to have ever trained. 

In a society focused on discipline and achieving greatness, Zik went above expectations. Bars he set have but rarely been neared. Until Zavok, most were largely considered impossible to meet. 

Zik is a unique Zeti. Warriors do set Clans up to welcome new students and carry on their name, but Zik is not an easy master. His ideology of domination is standard but his ideas of strength are incredibly unique in a world where weakness is to be quelled and trained away. Zik believes that the inherent strength within an individual should be harnessed instead of ignored. Any skill can be made combative if one knows how to master it completely. 

In all his years Zik took on only a handful of students, with only 5 ever making it into his inner circle and being official members of his Clan. He is not an easy teacher. 

Obstacles are nothing to this little Zeti. He has faced a lifetime of challenges due to his small stature and his unique powers. Strategy, cunning and an overwhelming drive to be strong allowed him to rise above the ranks. Any challenge he faces he knows has a solution - it is a difficult task to actually perturb him to the point of nerves. 

It’s specifically because of his lifetime of difficulties that he taught all his students to eradicate their foes so thoroughly. Too many times his mercy let to more foes than needed. Crush a foe and all they hold dear, and no one will ever come to avenge their broken ashes. 

Zik views himself as a father figure turned advisor to the group. In his heart of hearts, they are his pride and joy. He could not leave them. Bedridden and frail he’s still drag his way alongside them to keep these youngsters of his on the right path. 

Zomom (First Disciple)

Zomom is the eldest of Master Zik’s student, being the first welcomed into Zik’s inner circle. This is a matter of great pride for him and makes him very protective of the others as a result. Zavok holds the title of leader but it is no secret that the eldest of the students holds his fellow disciples close to his heart much how an older brother might view his siblings. 

Zomom knows a lot about the other members of the team. They feel comfortable around him one-on-one, often using him as a quiet listener to talk through their thoughts. 

Zomom is a strange Zeti. By height and strength he should have been a popular choice amongst his people. Yet his lack of common sense and social norms made it difficult to fit into society’s definition of a good warrior. The perceived lack of discipline in terms of food also earned him backlash from others. Emotional manipulation is an effective way of ensuring they didn’t have to fight the giant warrior physically. 

It was his sincerity, his genuine sense of being and wanting to learn, that made Master Zik bring him in as a student, then disciple. Zomom is genuine, true person who could not tell a life to save his life but still tries so hard to survive in a world where lying is viewed as not just acceptable but required in some social circles. Zik saw his food abilities and build, before tailoring his training to include more food intake and improve speed. 

Most affable of the Deadly 6, Zomom may be the butt of the joke at some times but they would all be furious should any harm befall him. Zomom’s willingness to shrug off insults does not sit well with any of them and they will gladly take the place of his vengeful fury to ensure it does not happen again. 

Seeing one or two of the Deadly 6 relaxing with Zomom when they are burned out or want to slow down is common. 

Zazz (The Second Disciple)

This is a case of a master forcibly adopting a feral child than a student asking a master to teach them. Zomom who was there the day Zazz was brought in to be taught is the only one besides Zik who knows why the Master took such a shining to Zazz, though the most he ever says on the matter is “It was like looking at a silly mirror.”

Zazz is almost the perfect Zeti. Intensely strong, with an immense battle-hunger. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more terrifying opponent. The issue lies with that same battle hunger that would make them popular in other circumstances. The whole point of the Zeti’s competitiveness is that it is, somehow, disciplined and the result of self-control/personal growth. Zazz’s entire motivation can be summed up as “because I want to.”

Zazz is very much a wild child turned wild adult with a lot of energy to burn. The ideas of the Zeti bore them a lot - why should they spend time proving himself when everyone’s so much weaker than them? They’d rather be seeking out good opponents or filling theirs time doing things that feed his ever-flickering attention. 

Despite their very intense personality, Zazz is fiercely protective of the clan. They’re the only ones to really indulge Zazz’s wide range of interests and teach them a few of their own. One day they may be with Zeena learning new techniques to make their appearance fiercer, the next they’re in the shadows with Zor learning a shadow technique that will absolutely scare the shit out of Master Zik, this time for sure!

Picks up skills like a dog gets fleas. They’re not a master at any of them but the way they’re able to combine them makes them a fearsome opponent, a lethal prankster and find something to connect over with anyone. 

Zeena (The Third Disciple)

Female-identifying Zeti are held to the same standard as any other Zeti so her presence in the Clan isn’t entirely unexpected. However, many Zeti tend to prefer Clans of their own gender out of comfort or outright preference.

Youngster Zeena, known for her cold intensity, had her pick of the litter in terms of Masters - her tethering abilities made her a powerful long-distance opponent, and her technology skills make her a verifiable weapon powerhouse. Her choice to go for Master Zik was a surprise, but Zik accepted her. 

In truth, she went for Master Zik because she didn’t want to just be a long-distance specialist. She wanted a Master who could hone her abilities to be used in more creative ways. Zomom and Zazz’s successes got her attention.  

With Zik she learned to use her tethering abilities to completely control the field. Able to move quickly, redirect her opponents and load the battle field with her varied arsenal, facing off against Zeena is incredibly difficult. 

Always looking to perfect her abilities as the “Perfect Zeti Fighter” Zeena spends a lot of time perfecting her body to make it superior to other Zeti. Outside of that in her lab she’s developing new weapons with distinct abilities to use in combat. Bouncy bombs, whips with unique charges - she’s offered to create some for the rest of the team, but they’ve only accepted limited help. 

Zeena views herself as the pinnacle of Zeti power, with the ability to do more. She holds the rest of the Deadly 6 to the same standard and is not above offering weapons advice or ways to improve their appearance to terrify their enemies into a stupor. 

Zor (The Fourth Disciple)

Zor was not expected to succeed. There are many ways to be considered a successful Zeti - strength, speed, smarts. Lurking in the shadows is not traditionally viewed as particularly impressive. Zor’s inclination to the shadows made him unpopular in the society.

In turn, this made Zor dislike society as a whole and develop a severe nihilistic attitude that continues to plague him to this day. Why should he trust a system that failed him so badly anyway? It is ultimately pointless. 

Zor didn’t so much as join the Clan as he was chased into the clan. Lurking in his shadows he didn’t know of the tall Zeti whose attention has zeroed in on the very interestingly-moving shadow until Zazz had already begun to give chase. Master Zik hadn’t a clue what to make of the huffy Zeti his Second Disciple had under his arm, but if Zazz saw talent in this one, it was worth exploring. 

Zor’s abilities as a spymaster make him a vital part of the group. His abilities contribute to that but it is his powers of observation and deduction that really lend themselves to this role. Having been a spectator to his society for most of his life, he has developed powerful strategies to collect information at a mass scale - needless to say, trying to keep a secret from him is difficult. 

The main introvert of the group, Zor struggles to be with them all at once. While he likes each one of them just fine (good luck getting him to say that) their overall energy can be overwhelming. He prefers to be with one-three people at a time to preserve his social energy.

Zavok (The Final Disciple)

Societies have ideal standards people strive towards. Often impossible to achieve, they’re viewed more as a lifetime goal than a realistic achievement. Those who do manage to hit it are considered to be above others as they command respect. Amongst the Zeti, that impossible person is Zavok. 

Zavok himself comes from an impressive lineage - all the Zeti before him have been great warriors, commanders, people filling leadership roles. Each generation of greatness placed more expectations upon the next and as an only child, Zavok had no one to share these burdens with. He exceled at them, but it was not the glory he sought. He wanted to great his own reputation free of his past. 

The announcement of Zavok’s self-imposed expulsion from his lineage shook Zeti society to its core. His subsequent request to become Zik’s pupil further shook everyone, but Master Zik did have a penchant for collecting odd students. What was one more lost warrior seeking purpose?

Zavok evolved far beyond anyone could have guessed under Master Zik’s tutelage. Part of this was due to his own upbringing, but it truly was Zavok’s own determination and fast mind that let him adapt to Zik’s unusual forms of training. He wanted to become indomitable and he would do whatever it took to do so.... 

...But, he wasn’t quite perfect.  Zavok is a brilliant minded individual, but upon reaching the inner circle, he realized that he was incredibly unused to working in a group. It took a great deal of time, self-reflection and humbling for him to become the leader he is to do, due in part to his own hang-ups he thought he had left behind with his family. 

With time, he grows to respect each team member and view them as close family. Upon Zik’s retirement and Zavok’s ascension to the head of the Clan, Zavok was the undisputed respected and admired leader of the Clan, holding each of them in high regard and daring anyone to try and take what they had built. 

[thotsforvillainrights]

Thanksgiving with the Shie Hassaikai headcanons? Can we also pretend Pops is awake for this too? 🥺

(No worries! We always pretend Pops is awake because I live in a constant state of denial where I pretend Kai isn’t an asshole that put him in a coma. Anyway lol, let’s just pretend you work for the Hassaikai for this one! Ps: I was hoping someone would request this)

~Thanksgiving with the Hassaikai~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-Although you’ve only been employed to the Hassaikai for 10 months so far, everyone already knew your personality well enough to see this coming. That’s why when you called an emergency meeting, nobody was surprised at your request for celebrating Thanksgiving together. However, that didn’t make it easy for getting everyone to agree. Rappa, Tabe, Deidoro, Pops, and Toya were excited for it! Hojo, Tengai, Nemoto, and Chrono were indifferent and didn’t mind trying it. The only complaints were from Kai (as usual when you suggested something fun) and Mimic (who didn’t see the point in it). Thankfully Pops was delighted by you from the very moment you showed up at the base. So of course he was on your side. Since he was still the big boss, there was nothing anyone could do to deny you. 

-”Okay everyone is required to bring something so we can have a feast. Work in teams to get this stuff done, and I’ll do the assigning! So Pops, you don’t have to worry about a single thing okay? Don’t worry about getting anything together but if you absolutely want to then I don’t mind.” You smiled at him and he cheerfully nodded. “Okay here’s the line up: Rappa and Katsukame are in charge of the Turkey. I’m putting a lot of faith in you guys. The turkey is the star of the show and I need it done perfectly! Or at least...as good as you can manage. Tengai and Mimic can handle the devilled eggs. Deidoro and Hojo are in charge of getting the drinks. Please do not show up with only alcohol. In fact, I’m mainly counting on you Hojo to make sure Sakaki doesn’t do this. Now Tabe and Setsuno are in charge of getting the plates, cups, cutlery, and the deserts. Toya I’d focus on doing the deserts so Tabe won’t get tempted to eat them. Finally Overhaul and Chrono can get the side dishes. This includes Macaroni, Greens, Cranberry Sauce, any and all side meats like chicken or whatever. Ceaser salad, Potato salad, etc. You guys get the drift. The reason why I put so much on you is because I’m confident you guys can handle the load. Finally I’ll be working with Shin to get the Ham. That’s all! Any questions?” Immediately you got hands in the air.

Pops: “May I help make some of the main dishes?” He asked with slight puppydog eyes. Rather childlike for his old age, but you couldn’t deny him even if you wanted to. “Pops we just want you to relax as the head of the table, but if you really want to then you may attempt it.” 

Deidoro: “How much and what kind of alcohol am I in charge of?” His eyes were super focused causing you to laugh a bit. “Okay well let’s not go overboard first of all. It’s not like a Halloween party or anything wild like that. We’re getting together over dinner and expressing thanks for the things we received so graciously.” You explained. He paused and deadpanned. “So...just wine then?” ...”Yeah, just wine. And not the strong kind either. Maybe you can get a little Sake for yourself.”

Rappa: “Yes uh, how in the fuck am I supposed to cook this shit?” Katsukame punched his shoulder. “You big idiot, we bake it!” Rappa punched him back as a reply. “Fucking DUH, but like what kind of seasonings???” Katsukame punched him again. “Probably something not too heavy so we focus more of the fucking flavor of the dressing in side of it.” Rappa once again punched back as a rebuttal. “Fuck off, cilantro is all you had to say you bastard.” You immediately had to speak up between them before their playful banter would turn into an entire indoor death match. “Okay guys, don’t focus too hard on it. This is kinda western so just look up some recipes and videos please? And most importantly, always have a back-up turkey on hand just in case you guys mess up the first one.”

Kai: “Yeah I have a question. Where the hell do you get off on telling me what to do? I’m you’re boss and you’re just barely high enough up to even be considered a precept.” Pops immediately got up and slapped the back of Kai’s head. “Bite your tongue Chisaki and apologize!” Kai grumbled and bowed for a second while uttering a short apology. Chrono chuckled off to the side as he tried to hold back his laughter. 

Mimic: “Who’s wallet is this coming out of???” You smiled at him and he gulped. “Well not from our pay. We’ll call it a holiday event and pull from the reserves. The yakuza has been thriving lately under Pops of course. Unless anyone wants to donate?” You looked at Kai with fluttering lashes and he glared at you. “Fuck fine. I’ll cover the expenses on my end.” You smiled and nodded. 

-If only from that point on things could’ve went well but there were just too many obstacles of course. Not on you and Nemoto’s end of course! You two were efficient and quick. You got in and out of the grocery store in under 2 hours with the perfect ham. You agreed to go to his apartment to cook it together since the house kitchen at the base would go to Pops, Chrono, and Kai more than likely. And the lower part of the base kitchen would belong to Rappa and Rikiya. The TRUE issues arose on the ends of everyone else. Pops was an angel and the food he attempted to make was reasonable, but the old man overdid it and ended up making 4 of the same cakes. What were you going to do with exactly 4 red velvet cakes??? Anyway, as to be expected, Rappa and Rikiya fucked up BOTH of the turkeys. You had to make them search all around town to find a pre-done turkey on the morning of Thanksgiving itself. They eventually found one from a generous donor in exchange for that person having their debt to the yakuza swept under the rug. Chisaki and Chrono did a pretty good job but they took so long that half of the stuff was still being set up when it was time to start dinner. Tabe actually did an okay job at setting the table up. The real surprise was that SETSUNO was the one that was tempted and ended up munching corners off of the deserts. Of course Sakaki showed up with a wide variety of alcohol that Hojo didn’t even notice he had snuck into the other shopping cart. Meanwhile Tengai and mimic had decorated the devilled eggs rather poorly. Tengai believed the minimal was better and Mimic was trying to cut corners with price/quality. Nevertheless everything was set up and you all began to review the things you were thankful for.

“Well I just wanna start off by saying that I’m thankful for this job and the bonds I’ve made with you all not just as coworkers but as people. I truly consider the Hassaikai to be like family.”

Pops: “I want to thank everyone as well for working so hard for our little family here. I also want to thank you Y/N for bringing some youthful joy into my life once again.”

Kai: “I suppose I’m thankful for my good health and sanity dealing with all of you on a daily basis.”

Chrono: “Yo, I’m thankful for my last paycheck but also for the years I’ve served here. It kinda has been almost like a fam to me yknow. Not trying to get sappy or anything but thanks you guys.

Mimic: “This is weird but I guess I’ll try it. I’m thankful for uh...the opportunities set forward in front of me.”

Nemoto: ”I’m very much thankful for our leader, and also for master Overhaul. I appreciate you for allowing me to strive in my work the way that I do. I can only hope to continue pleasing you both as my time goes on at this organization. That is all.”

-Deidoro: “Thanks to this damn Saki I’ve already had 2 and a half cups of while everyone wasn’t listening. Also thankful for my liver as well.”

-Hojo: “Well I guess I can say I’m thankful for everyone here and for the boss when he took me in off the street and healed me after I almost died.”

Setsuno: “Yeah thanks for giving me purpose again boss. I’m thankful for that too.”

Tabe: “Food...friends...found family...”

Katsukame: “Fucking thanks for letting us have enough chance after we fucked up two of those damn turkeys. I thought you were gonna kill us Y/N.” 

Tengai: “I’m rather thankful for my sanity as well, after dealing with this job so much...”

Rappa: “This shit is cheesy but damn it I’m thankful for everything here too! I aint much at speeches so I’m gonna stuff my face now.” 

-So there you go. It may not have been the most conventional thanksgiving but it was something along the lines of a ‘perfect disaster’ all in it’s own. You can only sit back and look at everyone eating and talking before you realize that a Christmas party might not be so bad to start planning for either.

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

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[rigmarolling]

Myth Time: Loki and the Goat

Once upon a time, the ice giantess/goddess/resident “I-have-no-indoor-voice friend” Skadi was upset about Asgard killing her dad, so she kicked down the door to their victory party and went, “WHO’S THE LITTLE PISSANT WHO KILLED MY FATHER?”

Everyone just stared, mouths full of feast food, and pointed to Loki like

And Loki went

Skadi glowered, axe in hand and went, “If you people don’t FIX this IMMEDIATELY, heads will roll, and by heads, I specifically mean--” and she swung her head in a certain jötunn’s direction-- “that head.”

And Loki was like

Odin immediately went into PR cleanup mode and said, “You’re right--we’re either advertently or inadvertently responsible for the death of your father. What is it that you want?”

And Skadi leaned in and hissed between her teeth, “I want blood.”

Odin, who generally preferred to be literally anywhere else about 95% of the time, went 

and said, “Right, well, we’re in the middle of something right now, so besides bloodshed, what can we do to make reparations?”

Skadi narrowed her eyes. Sniffed. Looked around imperiously at the idiots with mouths full of mutton, and said, “I want three things.”

“Name them,” Odin said.

Skadi propped her axe against the wall, straightened up, and looked down at Odin through her frosted eyelashes.

“One,” she said, “I want you to cast my father’s eyes into the sky so they will be immortalized as eternal, shining stars.”

Odin went

but did it, anyway, because everyone’s got their quirks; who was he to judge?

Then, brushing the eyeball goo off of his hands, Odin asked, “What’s the second thing?”

Skadi sniffed.

“Secondly, I demand that one of you makes me laugh.”

The gods shifted in their seats. If they weren’t nervous before, they absolutely were now, because Skadi never laughed. Like, ever. 

“Skadi never laughs,” Thor muttered in disbelief. “Like, ever.”

Skadi’s head swiveled in his direction. “Did you say something, you walking sausage roll?”

Thor quickly swallowed the bite of pie he’d been chewing. “No, no. Nothing.”

“My liege lady,” Odin said quickly, his tone suddenly silken. “Why not something...simpler? We wouldn’t want to insult you with lukewarm attempts at humor, after all--”

“Someone,” Skadi declared imperiously, “had better make me laugh, or I swear by the Norns, I will garrote each and every one of you with your own intestines while your children watch on the sidelines and weep for their gutless progenitors!”

Thor blinked and went,

But they had no choice. So, sweating slightly and fighting back anxiety pee, the gods each took their turn trying to make Skadi laugh. 

Tyr, the god of war, tried some biting political satire. Skadi didn’t even blink.

Idunn, the goddess of youth, rattled off a few celebrity impressions, but was really more of a “behind the scenes” sort of gal, so Skadi remained stone-faced.

Baldr quoted a few lines from The Importance of Being Earnest, but nobody knew what the hell he was talking about or who the hell Oscar Wilde was, so that was bust.

Thor tried his hand at that one “orange you glad I didn’t say banana” knock knock joke that you thought was the pinnacle of comedy when you were five, but he blew it three times before Skadi shot him a look that could have incinerated steel and he hurried back to his seat.

Frigg, goddess of foresight, tossed out a few legitimately great quips about tech culture in Silicon Valley, but being the goddess of foresight generally meant that she was the only one who would get her references for at least 1,000 years. Skadi, flummoxed, simply scowled.

There was enough awful improv to make even that insufferable guy in your college lit class cringe; there was bad, white-dad-at-a-wedding dancing; there were ham-fisted attempts at stand up, but very few gods understood the concept of “setup and payoff,” so every single bit flopped like a dead fish. 

Skadi was growing more and more irritable by the second. Her mouth had all but disappeared into a thin line, and her fingers had started twitching, which usually meant she was either bored or hadn’t punched anything in at least an hour.

Worst of all, mid-way through Bragi’s frankly atrocious tagelharpa routine, Skadi had walked away, retrieved her axe, and sat it down next to her. 

Bragi, who wouldn’t have noticed a nuclear detonation if it exploded five feet away as long as he was in the middle of a performance, continued, undeterred.

Meanwhile, Loki had been watching from the sidelines, leaning up against an outer wall of the mead hall, his arms crossed, his jaw clenched.

By the time Bragi got to what had to be the 23rd verse, Loki went 

and made his way to where Bragi was going on about something to do with a wolf swallowing the sun, nothing important, and hissed, “Stop. Just stop. Just stop! Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you people?”

Then, letting out a huff of frustration, he loped over to the nearby pasture-- which was full of livestock just minding their own business, they didn’t ask for any of this, really-- and whistled at a goat.

The goat, who on some instinctual level knew exactly what was about to happen because he’d been around Loki long enough to know that something always happened, let out a sigh and trotted over. 

Then, casting the goat a glance that clearly said, “I owe you one, buddy,” Loki pulled a rope seemingly out of nowhere and, with a look of determination that made everybody in the vicinity incredibly uneasy, dropped his pants.

“What the hell?” cried Freyja, goddess of love and war and death, how metal, love her.

But Loki was in full frat mode at this point. 

His goods swinging free for everyone to see, he tied one end of the rope around the goat’s horns.

And the other to his own testicles.

Immediately objecting to having himself tethered to balls that belonged to this guy of all people, the goat began to pull backwards.

Loki let out a thin whine, his face draining of all color, and stumbled forward.

The men in the group looked faintly nauseated. 

With a breathless sort of grunting sound, Loki tugged back, pulling the goat forward. But the goat was just done with this shit, oh my God, what the hell? and bucked backward with an indignant, “Baa!” 

Loki skittered forward again with a yelp and then hurled himself in the opposite direction, “baa-ing” right back. 

And on it went--the goat leaping back and pulling Loki balls-first with him, and Loki tugging back until the goat stumbled unceremoniously forward. 

At this point, the other gods and goddesses were howling with laughter and/or sympathy pain, and Loki had never known anything but suffering, holy shit, oh, God, I fucked up, I actually did it, I actually permanently fucked up this time for real, oh, sweet mother of God, this goat is the worst goat in the world, just--just the worst fucking goat, just a really, really bad fucking goat--

His vision spotty, his lower half engulfed with the sort of agony that was all-encompassing and obliterating and just oh my God, you’re a fucking idiot, you really, really are, Loki gave one last, mighty tug, roaring like a cat in heat, and the rope snapped, sending the goat skittering back and Loki tumbling, butt cheeks-first, right into Skadi’s lap.

There was a thick, heavy silence. Loki let out a series of noises that sounded like an anemic balloon slowly being deflated. 

And suddenly, Skadi began to laugh.

And laugh.

And laugh.

She laughed so hard, she had to screw her eyes shut to stem the flow of tears. She laughed so hard, she actually stopped making noise and took to wheezing, instead.  

In her lap, Loki had lost all sense of space and time and would have really liked to have thrown up, thanks, but to his credit, everyone else was laughing so hard, they’d all started to cry-wheeze, too, so he settled for rolling to the side in a fetal position and clutching his now grotesquely swollen balls, distantly thinking, “That’s showbiz, baby.”

“Well,” said Odin over the din of laughter, clapping his hands together and smiling despite himself, “that settles it, Skadi! We’ve made you laugh. Reparations are made, and no hard feelings, hmm?”

As abruptly as she’d started, Skadi suddenly stopped cackling. Her face, which only a second earlier had been stretched wide in a grin, collapsed back into Miranda Priestly coolness.

“No,” she bit out. “That does not settle it. I still require one more thing.”

Odin had known that; he’d simply hoped she’d been distracted enough that she’d forgotten.

*Narrator voice* she hadn’t.

“Of course.” Odin plastered on a smile and said between his teeth, “Name it.”

Something in Skadi’s glittering, cool eyes softened. Her gaze roved appraisingly over the gods gathered around her.

“I want a husband.”

The men assembled felt a collective scrotum twinge of apprehension.

From his place curled up on the ground, Loki wheezed, “Not it.”