#would you like my commentary? that's too bad they're my tags

[whatimdoing-here]

WARRIOR NUN S2 | Ava and Beatrice small Moments.

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[menonlywrestling]

Montana 2001

Batchelor Arthur (51), works as a delivery driver for a furniture company. He didn't do very well academically, and still lives in the town he was raised in. He always dreamed of becoming a Pro wrestler, but life got in the way and it never happened for him. He's a total pro wrestling nerd and goes to every live pro event in his county. Mostly he keeps himself to himself, and in his spare time, apart from watching wrestling, he works out in the small make shift gym in his basement. Occasionally he'll meet other men out of state, that he chats to online, for private pro wrestling bouts.

A few months ago, Jonathan (29) joined the same company, and was assigned to Arthur to help with the larger deliveries. Initially very quiet, he's starting to come out of his shell and chat a bit more when they're out in the van. Arthur isn't the most talkative either, but they're relaxed around each other a bit more now and there isn't as much awkwardness. They have some things in common. Working out, Sci fi and action movies. The gossipy receptionist at their company told Arthur that Jonathan was recently separated from his wife, and had moved to town to start over.

Arthur has become a bit infatuated with Jonathan. He's always checking him out when he's not looking, admiring his thicc, muscular body. Those eyes, those arms, the sexy Southern accent, that BIG ASS and package. He jerks off every night, imagining what Jonathan would look like in Pro gear. If he could wrestle, what would his favourite hold be? Would he be a heel or a jobber? He fantasises about them wrestling each other. About them being a tag team and winning the regional belts. About them making love in the ring after a bout.

One day, Arthur mentioned that he was going to a pro wrestling show after work. Jonathan asked if he could tag along. He had no plans. He doesn't really know anyone else in town. At the show they're having a great time. It's a Friday night, they're drinking beers and laughing. While watching the action, Arthur is impressed with Jonathan's commentary and knowledge of Pro wrestling. When he mentions this, Jonathan tells him that he wrestled Pro for a bit when he was younger, to earn some extra cash. His grandfather was a pro wrestler and taught him when he was a kid. He had a ring set up in his basement that they would practice in.

Arthur cannot believe what he's hearing. He's impressed, and incredibly turned on. He also notices that during the main event, a violent and bloody chain match between two enormous hot muscle bears, that Jonathan is trying to hide his massive hard on. Arthur questions if this is this really happening. Is he imagining this? Is this wishful thinking? Has he had too many beers? The guy's straight, after all.

After the show, Jonathan thanks Arthur for letting him tag along. He's had a great time. He says he's been feeling a bit lonely. "maybe I should start wrestling again, to get out of the house?" he says, jokingly.

As they make their way to the taxi rank, Arthur asks if he has plans for the weekend. Jonathan shrugs his shoulders "no, sir" he replies. Arthur pauses, then asks Jonathan if he'd like to come to his house tomorrow night. "We can order some pizzas, drink some beers and watch the WWF PPV on cable, if you'd like?"

J: "Sounds great, thanks, that would be cool"

A: "You know, I'm not a bad pro wrestler myself. I've been wrestling for years, on the underground scene. I was thinking that maybe, just for a bit of fun, we could have a bit of a tussle, were kinda the same size and....

Before he could finish, Jonathan says "I'll bring my gear".

To be continued?

[corviiids]

it's been a while of this now but im increasingly frustrated about how difficult i find it these days to share my work and my thoughts. on the one hand it's something im desperate to do because i sincerely love to do it and if i can't share my thoughts and creations then the process doesn't feel complete to me. but on the other hand socmed feels so overexposed that every time i put something out there im so hyperaware that this thing that came from me and is often very close to me is now being dissected by strangers, and as my accounts started being viewed by more than a few hundred people at a time, the probability (and occurrence) increased that within that largely very kind demographic there were also bad actors, or people who insisted on playing devil's advocate, people who wilfully misinterpret, people who accidentally misinterpret but in ways that are frustrating, etc etc etc. that kind of repeated exposure and vulnerability gets exhausting after a while and im quite burnt out on it. i take every measure i can to prevent overexposure to every single passing person's thoughts (not that i don't want to hear from people, i love it, but it's different from seeing the same tags 5000 times by 5000 strangers who don't realise the things they're saying have been said to me already - this is no one's fault) which is why my notifications are off on twitter for people i don't follow etc and of course anon asks are off here, but it's just part of the reality and it's the downside of being lucky enough to have a group of people who are willing to look at what i have to say in the first place. that's something im very grateful for but you know, inevitable ups and downs, and it makes me really cautious about sharing meta and fic in the unreserved way i used to when i was younger

it's sad because again, part of the joy of creation for me is the joy of handing it to others in the hopes someone will find it interesting or it'll make them feel something. feeling like i can't do that without also exposing my flesh to being scratched up and stabbed by strangers is just a little too tiring. even making new quieter accounts doesn't necessarily ease that feeling because it's sort of an instinctive response at this point, the phenomenon you may have noticed where people start trying to cover themselves for potential arguments even bonkers ones that no reasonable person would make (im literally doing it right now). and also again im incredibly privileged to have lucked into finding enough people who give a shit about my silly little jokes that im reticent to give it up or take it for granted, even if it raises the chances of someone nasty latching onto me or being bombarded with exhausting commentary.

ultimately it is worth it to me whenever someone finds something i made worthwhile and especially if someone goes out of their way to tell me something i did meant something to them or made them laugh, so i wouldn't change anything. im very grateful to have that! just feeling low and having a sulk!!!

[good-beanswrites]

My english lyrics for Triage woo! (They're written out under the cut, I just wanted to share my lil chart lol)

Though I'm too indecisive to officially label this as my favorite song, it's had the strongest emotional impact on me by far. It holds a special place in my heart, I definitely wanted to write lyrics for it first! I'll leave all my rambling process commentary in the tags, but I was so happy with how it came out!!

All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,

This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.

If that were the case, it should have been fate for me to die.

That's the truth, given my crime, so why--?

No, I can't take it, to this cruel joke I'll submit. You

don't know, you can't know, but I'm ready to admit:

Killing for them, extracting for them, won't change the fact they're dead.

I need someone to tag me as RED.

It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)

Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?

I see, the world is cruel and leaves you on your own.

(I can't die) to atone. (I can't love) alone.

I can't be saved (saved), you've nothing to give. Saved (saved)

But what if I lived? Why else would you choose to forgive?

I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, you need me, (I can be) indispensable.

Tilt to and fro, I know the scales should land on GUILTY for me.

Tilt fro and to, it's INNOCENT that they choose.

They cry (x4) out in pain, I can hear them. There's no one else, to guard their health,

My mission is offering help.

All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,

This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.

So if that's the case, then it must be fate to make amends,

Extract that fang before we meet the end.

It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)

Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?

I see, the world is cruel, but what I've realized is

(Now I want) to be INNOCENT. (Now I want) to live.

It makes me sick (sick), This wasn't my plan, hostages at my command.

Their future resting in my hands

I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.

Maybe this was meant to be -- oh  -- or maybe neither of us can know

There's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.

---

I mentioned earlier that I always get annoyed with myself when people post translyrics and I can't figure out the rhythm they were going for, so here's a recording of me singing, but I'm bad at it! It's just for fun! Like a rough draft for music! Because the only thing worse than people hearing my voice is people thinking I can't count syllables!

[bonearenaofmyskull]

https://www.tumblr.com/fannibalcascade/737874603392811008/she-could-be-the-person-to-free-will-from

So like I saw this blog reblog your post so only because of this I want to clear the confusion or maybe misinterpretation?¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Guys, you need to just not worry about this person. They're welcome to reblog anything they like from my posts. I get all my notifications and I read all the tags still, so if I feel like they've said something that is worth answering, I'll answer it. They don't really add much commentary that is illuminating, which I suppose means they've not got that much to say of any consequence, or they would say it instead of cherry-picking my meta posts. I've never understood people who are on a mission to make others feel like their ships are bad/invalid/whatever, and I'm not likely to start understanding that now.

If you want to see more balanced commentary on the Hannigram relationship, I've a million posts about Hannigram in canon: https://bonearenaofmyskull.tumblr.com/tagged/hannigram/. I tried very hard not to get too carried away in any given direction so that's why there are posts for someone to cherry pick, but it could easily go the opposite direction. So just don't worry about it.

(I suspect some of our "newer" tumblr users don't know how to view all of a blogger's posts under a specific tag, so if you're one of these and don't know how to look back through my meta or tags, just follow the format of the link above, replacing "hannigram" with "hannibal meta" or whatever else your heart desires.)

[definitelynotshouting]

OUGHHH sorry to be on anon, I need to make a proper tumblr to talk to people in hermitblr but currently I only have a sideblog and am not gonna expose my ten year old main aklsdjhfdklas, but I am the author of the romeo and juliet au tysm you made my heart grow warm and fuzzy and then explode I've never seen my fic mentioned out in te wild before <33333

to fuel ur theatre au brainworms, in the romeo and juliet au: mercutio is bdubs + benvolio is cleo, and jimmy and joel are sampson and gregory (two capulets from the start of the play they're such dumbasses my absolute beloveds), so we've got the design philosophy of the montagues and the capulets mirroring the aesthetics of the family and the bad boysss. (I never came up with a design for bad boy!Ren when he steps in as Tybalt instead of Grian during show week but I feel it's not too hard to imagine hehe)

but also (separately from that au, because I saw other talk of the life series and theatre and plays on ur blog) I constantly think about the life series as a greek tragedy, specifically in relation to the purpose of the series' inevitable tragedy being catharsis for the watchers (with the watchers also being literally the viewers). we love to see them suffer!!! but there's also a bunch of politics surrounding greek tragedies that Plato and Aristotle had discourse about that you can rope into it and tldr; my understanding is catharsis was Aristotle's answer to Plato's concern that tragedies' emotive affect could encourage rebellion against the state, with Aristotle saying that instead the cycle of pity and fear and eventual catharsis felt by the audience has a "purifying" effect that's like an emotional release from those emotions instead. Then with the extra layer of lore the fandom has surrounding Grian running away from the watchers, if Grian designs the life games, to the end of sating the watchers' need to emotionally feed (thank you Martyn for that piece of lore I'm stealing it jkfhdsk), the purpose of the games could be the cleansing of the watchers' discomfort with him running away and being a player and maintaining the status quo where Grian is actually the one in control !!!! even if he makes himself suffer. also different characters "curses" as their harmatia!! And, if we interpret the watchers as a fictional force AND the viewers simultaneously, then the chorus could absolutely be watchers who are vocal in the fandom - removed from the "players" (and OH how I love the dual meaning of minecraft players and players as in actors) but providing additional commentary and insight into what's happening that further feeds the emotional experience of the audience !!

alsooooo if you don't know the show "& Juliet" scar and grian are ALSO romeo and juliet in that to me, it's their last life/early double life era </3

theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre

YOOOOOOOOO HELLO OP YOUR FIC IS AMAZING AND IM GLAD I COULD REC IT BC IT DESERVES RECOGNIZED!!!!! Also all of this is AMAZING im so obsessed with bdubs being mercutio and cleo being benvolio. Thats incredible like HELLO????? based choices tbh thats so fun

Also super obsessed with the meta of plays feeding into the watcher canon (and im STILL not over martyn somehow accidentally canonizing a key element of my au, this is insane, i came up with the idea for watchers feeding on player emotions in SEPTEMBER OF LAST YEAR), thats so fucking neat, i love a good tragedy OUGHHHHH its so compelling.

Also no worries about being on anon!!!! I did that too before i finally cleaned up my main blog so all the posts were privated, and then changed my url to match this one so ppl would recognize me WHEEEEEZE. Smth that helped me was tagging my own sideblog in anon asks i sent, so ppl would know it was me, and i'd get the notif when it got answered. Ofc you might not be comfortable linking your sideblog, but if you ever made one you wanted to sign off with, thats the option i used for a while before using mass post editor to private my entire main blog!!!!

theatre theatre theatre!!! Your ideas are SO pog and cool my dude feel free to ramble to me any time :]

[whattraintracks]

25. Laser Tag Gone Wrong - The Next Mutation

Let's take a trip to Joe's Laser Funhouse

Some thoughts on "The Good Dragon" (S1E23). I've said before Venus and Raph are besties in this show, and I stand by that, but they also give off baby sister and big brother vibes, especially in this episode. It adds an interesting perspective when they butt heads over Raph being too protective and Venus declaring she doesn't need protecting. This is true; she kicks serious shell, and Raph knows it.

ACTUALLY WAIT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT INTERPRETATION WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER?? THEY BOTH THINK OF THEMSELF AS THE OLDER SIBLING. This is perfect. Venus was so sad when Leo said they weren't related (part of my list of things to ignore). I swear she wanted to be their mysterious, long-lost sister so bad. So I imagine she gets to New York, meets the guys, and is like, ah yes, four little brothers, how exciting I've always wanted to be a sister. But Raph, who is the protector ever, meets Venus and is like, ay sweet, baby sis acquired. You guys, I'm so big brain for this. Okay, on to the actual episode.

Brief Inexhaustive List of Ignorable Things:

every incorrect use of the term shinobi, forget the word exists in this show it will make your life easier

weird out of sync running sound effects

weirder dragon noises

the dragons do not look like dragons, they look like humans in baggy clothes, green body paint made to look vaguely like scales, and red-eye contacts

on that note Venus' plastron

don't know how I never realised this before, but there's a scene in the opening where Leo's in yellow instead of dark blue??

whatever puns you don't like, it's 70-30 for me on which land or not

My Commentary:

We open at Joe's Laser Funhouse

Raph and Venus are playing laser tag

Raph: "Oh, Venus! I'm coming for you!"

Raph could probably afford to sound a little less serial killer, but that would be boring, actually

R: "Ya mess with the best, ya fall like the rest"

Raph might just be posing

BUT

I choose to believe he is actually the laser tag champ in this version

R: "Raph rocks"

yes, you do, honey, never change

or maybe do because Venus immediately tags him

or not

not sure if she completely missed him from five feet away or if Raph did actually cheat somehow like she insinuates

R: "Want fair? See a judge"

what could you possibly know about the US judicial system

Venus: "This here town ain't big enough for the both of us"

who showed Venus a Western!! I'm not mad, I just wanna talk!!

literally the cutest thing ever

V: "Draw!"

except it's NOT Raph it's a dragon

good thing he's super dramatic and ominously inches his laser closer to Venus so that OTHER dragon can come in and knock him out

you know, the titular Good Dragon

R: "D'you know why they call them dragons? 'Cause they're a major drag"

Raph saves the day with the power of ninjutsu and puns

After two PowerPoint transitions, we arrive at the lair

obligatory Venus getting mad about it Raph rescuing her all the time

R: "Ah, quit being such a weenie, I'd've done it for anyone"

which is not inaccurate

but we know the truth, he just wants to watch his sister's back

proceeds to jack Mikey's food and leave

Quick jump over to the Dragon Lord's Lair

turns out Joe's Laser Funhouse is actually the Good Dragon's hideout

Mikey: "Hey, Raph! What's the mutatious babe up to?"

you know Raph's hovering when folks start asking him what Venus is up to

he is, in fact, just watching her meditate in this scene

yes, Mikey calls her that. no, I don't know why

I've just been reading it as a silly Mikey thing

Back to Joe's Laser Funhouse

can't believe Venus got past Raph to Joe's Laser Funhouse by herself

V: "Good doggie! Sit! Stay!"

Good Dragon v. rabid dog

FIGHT

R: "Ay, yo! Mei Pieh Chi!"

never mind, there he is

comes in a-shoutin', but it's really sweet that he uses her real name!

alternatively, calling her by her legal name for the full big brother effect

R: "Where you hidin', huh?"

she sneaks up on and judo-flips him

why? why not

as far as I remember, Raph is the only turtle Venus consistently chooses violence with

V: "Goo!" R: "Uh, that's boo, Venus" V: "No. When you're packing these it's 'goo'"

excuse you, Raphael, she got that colloquialism wrong on purpose

they are very physical and constantly in each other's faces in this episode, such sibling behavior

oh no, he fell for the classic made you look + mystic goo ball getaway!

R: "I've been psyched out by a peace-loving mutant!"

hilarious because she gets into and out of as many fights as he does

Raph, I hate to break it to you, but you are also a mutant

V: "Being hunted isn't so bad, trust me I know. Sometimes I even enjoy it"

girl, we need to get you some new nemeses and professional help

V: "Gee, Raphael, you see kind of angry"

metaphorically and then literally pokes the beast

see could be little or big sibling behavior, I don't know

R: "Oh, boy"

he says, after getting kicked into a dumpster and dragged away

V: "Raphael's in the trash!"

how she chooses to announce to the lair that Raph has been kicked into a dumpster and dragged away

Leo: "There's no dragon alive that Raph can't wail on"

okay, Leo's faith in him is really sweet

Donnie: "A . . ." L: "B. . ." M: "3. . ." D: "Shouldn't that have been C?"

Donnie, why do you even bother

Splinter: "Teenagers! Ugh, can't get used to them"

Splinter when nobody ever tells him anything

he's like, where are you going? where is my son???

and they just leave

PowerPoint transition to Props Props Props

that's the name of the prop warehouse Raph is being held captive in

Raph is tied up with tinsel and string lights

why would a dragon who likely has no concept of Christmas also put a star on his head?

Did Raph tell him to do it?

who knows, but Raph is very bothered by looking like a Christmas tree, and the Christmas music in the background sells it

R: "There's no shame in, uh, being good"

Raph's attempts at negotiation

unfortunately, said dragon reacts like he's been called a slur

Good Dragon: "You're my only hope . . . I'll sacrifice you to prove my loyalty"

you have been chosen

farewell, Raphael

you go on to a better place

R: "Here's the concept: you untie Raph, Raph will fight, okay?"

everyone just leaves him tied up while they have an epic fight scene

guys, please, he just wants to fight

this is like his third or fourth entreaty to be untied

V: "Merry Mutant Christmas!

as she drives a pair of dragons pulling her around on a sleigh

one is wearing a zebra mask, and the other has a sombrero that she put on them to blind them? I think?

Venus goes ham in this fight

R: "You know, I sorta liked that Good Dragon dude. He wasn't like a dragon. He was more like, uh, like a turtle!"

Raph has two categories: turtles and everyone else

if he decides you're chill, you get to be an honorary turtle

L: "Raph finally makes a friend, and it turns out to be the enemy!"

Leo, don't do him like this

this is like the fourth to last episode, he's made other friends

like Andre and the gorilla

does the baby turtle count?

Raph gets along well with animals

R: "Hey! He wasn't my friend! He was Venus' friend!"

the turtle doth protest too much, methinks

goes to sulk on the couch with his sister

jokes on him, she will not be a reprieve from the mocking

V: "Actually, I think he liked you best" R: "Oh yeah? how's that?" V: "Well, you guys have more in common . . . You're both pig-headed!"

Venus never wastes an opportunity to make fun of Raph

such big sibling energy to me

gets laughed out of the lair and goes for a ride on his . . . hog . . .

All in all, a delightful episode. Love the new insights I had about Venus and Raph's relationship. Laser tag gone wrong in the funniest way possible.

--------------------------

Bonus: memes for Splinter in these trying times.

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

Hi! I saw ALW’s Phantom of the Opera live a couple of days ago and I haven’t been able to stop consuming Phantom content ever since, which is why I happened to read your interpretation of Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera, and the post is so well thought out I really felt compelled to send you an ask. It’s so hard to find a good book commentary in which Erik is not depicted as the worst man alive or the sweetest angel who did nothing wrong.. I’ll definitely be going through your tags in the next couple of days!

I hope this doesn’t come off as inappropriate, just wanted to say I absolutely love your take on the character, I don’t usually see interpretations I actually like or agree with!

Have a good day 🫶

nonono this was SUPER cool of you and I really appreciate it! and I'm sorry my tags are a mess and you can't find all my Erik thoughts in one place.

I find the current dominant fanon on poto to be...frustrating. It's a bunch of people engaging in the most shallow, deliberately bad faith reading, rehashing the same tired ass takes. I'm off reddit now but for a few months there I had a lovely time on the poto subreddit, with, like, one good reddit friend who was, like me, an adult age fan of gothic literature in general, and we were constantly batting theories back and forth for why the culture is like this--and why only the English speaking portion of an international sensation is like this. We ultimately concluded that some people are just saying shit for the clout, but also the show brings out a TON of repression in people. We are convinced that some of the loudest, most irritating, most condemning voices are the ones also reading absolute filth on a03.

Some people are attracted to Erik and cannot handle the reality of that. It's easier to not admit you like something you "shouldn't," and pop culture has not come nearly as far in this way as it thinks it has. There's a lot of internalized hang ups and even shame about liking something that is, on some level, portrayed as potentially dangerous. Something powerful. Some people are still hung up on power = bad, lust after someone powerful in whatever way as indistinguishable from lust for power = bad.

And some other people are genuinely repulsed by the fact that Erik is canonically physically ugly, and they can't live with the realization that they're that shallow. Therefore: Erik must just be a fuckin loser lol and it's all his fault. And this is where some frustrating distortions of Christine's character happen, imo. The contemporary audience can't handle a female character who is anything but free of judgement. Christine is a perfect angel, a good girl, therefore any hesitation about Erik means that EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT EVER.

But it's also frustrating, too, like you say, when Erik is seen as a perfect little blorbo who's done nothing wrong in his life. The point of it all, imo, the actual point of gothic horror et all assorted genres, is that the suffering is real and it matters and the actions can still be terrible. The character can be both a monster and a martyr.

And maybe it's just that those ideas are too complex for everyone to hold at once. Erik is absolutely a victim and he's not WRONG about how his face is the problem, and of course that would make anyone bitter. But Erik just as absolutely does some terrible things. It's all very understandable, imo--as long as the audience knows that understandable doesn't automatically mean justifiable.

And he's just such a powerful figure, in and out of his story, and also tragic and so Romantic and so romantic, and it drives me crazy that people reduce him to textbook normal male loser.

Like, don't apply your real life filters to fiction, you guys! Erik is not a normal guy! He's brilliant! He's different! That's why there's such fun tension in story--he's got a lot to offer; it's just also very very complicated.

AND THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS THAT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS. The stuff that the phandom seems to think is essential and obvious is not essential nor obvious! Broadway carried the show for decades on the strength of mostly women who were mostly obsessed with the Phantom! That's just the reality of it all.

Or, no. The MOST frustrating part is how some people accuse you of internalized misogyny for being sympathetic to Erik. As if reducing all media to the standard of "does the female character choose the Good Husband?" isn't wildly patronizing.

anyway, preaching to the choir, etc...

getting back to important things, CONGRATS ON SEEING IT LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME! It's such an experience and so deliciously definitive. Do you mind me asking who you saw? I love looking up new cast members and hearing their takes and quirks.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

thank you for the add on! didnt know they are actually official,, in case you were adressing me personally (lowk flattered) i did end up redoing my commentary tags haha, my thought process is that comics have progressed quite a bit from their conception to now and are taking themselves a lot more seriously... which is something i think majority of comic fans on tumblr actually like because the focus is on actually expanding these characters into multi-faceted ones with good and bad aspects and (imo) WFA takes away from that a bit.... i rlly like WFA as a pick me up actually and i think silly comics can act as a sort of filler-episode-adjacent force in comics but not all the time, ykno?

honestly? most of comic tumblr shits on the mcu in part for them incorporating a lot of silly scenes into their movies and all comic tumblr would do is complain if comics suddenly became 100% silly again, haha..

BTW!!! this isnt meant as a slight or diss or anything!!, im just very interested in this whole conversation (quite literally shaking with excitement to talk abt it lool)

sorry if this is invasive in any way!

No no problem at all!! Yes I was responding to you at the beginning of that haha and I do agree that, while I love WFA, it's not great as like a main content intake for Batman or superheroes in general, definitely more for filler-episode material. When it first came out I was really excited to see it since in the comics they'd just killed Alfred (bad choice) and in movies they're... still learning how to portray Batman lmao, but I hope it being so popular will allow Batman movies to become at least closer to what we see in the comics!

I also agree that it is a good thing that comics grew into taking themselves seriously!! Knightfall is one of my favorite comics ever I can't even count how many times I've read it, and things like The Killing Joke will always be so iconic for a reason. But my favorite parts of those stories are still the characters relationships with each other and how they're being affected (when Bruce tucks the lock of hair behind Babs' ear when she wakes up in the hospital AAHH I cry every time). Comics have definitely found a good balance of serious and lighthearted that I think superhero movies are still searching for, Hollywood kind of realized all at once that superhero stories are worth being taken seriously but then they sort of tipped the scales too far in the other direction, you know? There's very little place for that fun rompiness and they go pretty far out of their way to try and make things "realistic" which is pretty silly to try and do to superheroes of all things haha

BTAS, STAS and Young Justice will probably always be my favorite superhero shows because they managed to achieve the same balance we see in comics themselves! I just have my fingers crossed Hollywood will learn to let heroes have some fun again too

Thank you so much for this ask I also really love discussing this!! I'm glad you didn't think I was attacking you because I really really wasn't trying to

[give-soup-please]

Do you think you'll ever return here soupman? I don't mean like returning to writing stuff like this, just, returning to this blog? Maybe reclaiming it as a soup-based blog? Or will you leave it forever? As much as I love archival stuff (I have a bad memory so preserving things as they are helps me remember), I think I'll miss you. Not your writings, you. So yeah, will you ever come back?

Longer post below the cut (very, very, long. you've been warned), but here's the TLDR: Right now, I can't say whether or not i'm going to do anything more with this blog or leave it as is.

This blog has too many attachments for me to abandon it entirely, but I don't really know what people would like to see me do next, and I am very, very confused by people's responses to me leaving. If you want more detail and context, keep reading.

I really wish I had a solid answer for you, anon. I find myself a little confused, to be honest. I've always tried to pull myself off of rambling and ranting in posts and tags, because I assumed people were 100% here for my TSP content and nothing else. I often try not to do commentary in the posts, and put it in brackets so people recognize it and skip over it if they'd like. But more and more people are showing that they care about the person behind the posts? and I????

In the grand scheme of things, I always assumed I was just some guy who liked TSP a little too much. Good lord, I ramble about the narrator so much sometimes. For goodness sake, I commissioned the VA for some work, which even though it's been a few months, still gets me giggly and blushy when I think about it. Who does that? Who am I, in all of this?

But you didn't come here for my confusion, you came for an answer to a fair question. Truth is, I don't know yet. On one hand, it seems a bit silly to say, "never will i ever return to this blog or TSP, good day." because- life changes. circumstances change. The narrator has changed due to the events of ultra deluxe, and writing for him has changed me as well. On the other, I genuinely don't know what content people would want to see. There's another anon in my inbox who's message I've been staring at all day, where they also asked what will happen to me and whether or not I'd give occasional updates, because they often wonder if the people are alright when their blogs go silent. This is very sweet! I don't want the person who asked that to be embarrassed. But I'm honestly very confused that I'm cared about, outside the context of what I do. I don't understand it at all, to be honest.

I'll let you in on a little secret, for those of you who have read this far. If it weren't for college, I'd keep going. Forever, if I could. If things went my way, the narrator and I would spend all day together, drafting and redrafting, laughing and enjoying each other's company. Because I recognize he's a fictional character, but- at the same time, he also lives in my head. Not as part of a system, I don't have DID, but I carry a lot of fictional characters with me because that's how I coped with growing up the way I did. It was bad business. Those who read the tags carefully might know that I ran away from home a few years ago. My characters helped me stay afloat in what would have otherwise been an impossible situation. I am very, very attached to them.

But I need this degree. Things are complicated on my end. The only guarantee I have for housing involves a deal I made with certain people to pursue a higher education. I can't take my time with it any longer, I have to push forward as a full time student in order to receive what I need. If I don't do what I'm told, I'm at risk for homelessness. Before this, I had been going to community college for four years, taking my time and making excuses. My hubris has caught up with me, and now I've got to go at full speed.

I am not letting these characters go, they're being pried from my fingers along with my free time. I am working on accepting this, on saying goodbye. It's difficult. The grief is overwhelming, but, and here's a funny thing:

A game about free will and the lack thereof, about stanley who is a puppet of the player, and the narrator, who doesn't have much choice either.

Me, a writer, a lover of this game, living a life that's out of my control, and not having options. A predetermined path stretches out ahead, and I walk it.

Familiar story, huh?

I will not be able to handle both this blog and a full course load. A few people have asked me to keep going, to do both. They do not know me as well as I know myself.

On top of that, writing for other people is kind of... stressful. I've always been a 'ride or die' style artist, pushing and straining myself. The way in which I work is not healthy for me. To have that attitude towards school and my hobbies would probably destroy me. I love the prompts people send in, I don't want them to feel bad about it. However, my attitude and approach needs some work. Which is why the blog has an end date, just under a week before classes start.

It sucks. I have no desire to give up what I'm doing, but it's responsible and it makes sense. I think of the narrator near the end of the 'not stanley' ending, and my heart breaks a little.

"I don't know... What's the answer? What do I do? What do I do? What do I- No I have to. I have to shut the game down. I have to. I have to."

Doing the right thing is always hard. I have a few regrets. I regret not starting this blog sooner. I regret what I'll be leaving behind. I regret the choices I've made that have made other choices unavoidable.

But I do not regret my time here. I do not regret the 60k+ (and counting!) words that I've written. I do not regret filling my time with joy. I do not regret the friends I've made thanks to this community.

And thanks to this community, it's been the best summer of my life.

[oncedied]

hi i guess?

Some of the text in this is highlighted and colored blue to make skimming easier.

The name's Cayde, without the 6, and undoubtedly not dead. I also answer to Nova, Spades or Six. 18 y/o, autistic he/xe queer transsexual My timezone is Eastern Standard (EST). in a relationship Aspiring content creator

On this blog, expect to find things relating to my fandoms, my hyperfixations, my OCs, my writing projects, and the occasional dash commentary post. My talking tag for all my original posts is caydeposting.

My non-fandom sideblog can be found at @cayde6feetunder.

I don't have a DNI other than don't be a weirdo, don't harass me or my friends, and don't try to start fights and/or drama with me. If I block you and you bother me asking why or you message me asking why I blocked [x person] you will be blocked too. Don't annoy me, basically.

My fandoms and interests primarily include, with major ones bolded and colored, secondary ones italicized:

Destiny

Dead Space

Red Dead Redemption

God of War

And a few more, I'll update this probably when I remember more that are worthwhile enough to include. But this should give a general idea as to what you would see here!

My inbox is always open! Feel free to chat, or send me ask game prompts when I reblog them and I'll try to remember to get to it. I don't bite, I would love to chat.

I am also a writer as a hobby, and I do in fact take requests! Headcanons, short drabbles, etc etc. Keep in mind that I will only answer NSFW asks privately, so if they're on-anon they will be deleted. This is for the comfort of my followers. I have an NSFW sideblog, but you're gonna have to hunt it down yourself! Anyways, here are some brief rules for the requests and other things:

If I don't understand a character well, I usually don't think much about them. So if it takes me longer to do your request, don't take it as a bad request or whatever! I'll try to get to it as best I can.

I primarily focus on the highlighted/colored/italicized fandoms listed above because I give them the most thought.

I am okay with headcanons and fics involving dark subjects, but I WILL NOT be writing anything proshippy, immoral, or otherwise disgusting. Subjects such as violence, gore, sui//cide, and things like that are on the table however. ALL WILL BE TAGGED USING THE "[x] TW" FORMAT. If you have a specific tag you have filtered, let me know and I'll try to remember to use it!

I reserve the right to decline your request for any reason. Don't take it personally!

Want to write a collab? Lemme know! I'll be glad to depending on other projects I'm focussing on.

I would love to hear about your own OCs and your own fics! Flood my inbox.

Now that that that's out of the way. Here's a brief list of my Destiny OCs that you'll see tagged and talked about here. Feel free to ask me about them! I will update this list as we go along. Keep in mind that I am cringe but I am free and I do not care if someone thinks I'm cringe, so what. I regularly reblog ask games involving my OCs, and it's preferred that if you reblog an ask game from me you send me a prompt from it. But you don't have to.

Nebula-10, main OC, Exo; main player character [ REF ]

Pulsar-11, Exo; secondary player character [ REF ]

Comet, Cabal; adopted son of Pulsar and Nebula

Star, Eliksni; adopted daughter of Pulsar and Nebula

Ace, Awoken; adopted son of Nebula and Cayde [ REF ]

Kookaburra, Awoken; adopted daughter of Nebula and Cayde

Atlas, Hive; Lightbearer Knight and Lucent Brood defect

"Mastermind" (Real name unknown), Exo; lead scientist aboard Nebula's ship

Lucifer, AI; the AI on board the Morning Star ship

Kinkajou, Human; girlfriend of Kookaburra

Diavolo-12, Exo; irredeemable asshole bounty hunter that kills for fun.

Cernunnos-18, Exo; local forest dweller.

Axel, human; Ace's boyfriend

Valiksis, Eliksni; bartender on board the Morning Star

Val'Urath, Cabal; mentor of Comet

Tankha/The Stardancer, Human; Morning Star Crew

Sarviiks, Eliksni; House Salvation defect

Phyliis, Eliksni; daughter of Star and Sarviiks

Hiriiks, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Balriiks, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Tharvi/Narvi, Eliksni; son of Star and Sarviiks

Tamarin, Ghost; Kookaburra's Ghost

Chip, Ghost; Ace's Ghost

Whirl, Ghost; Star's Ghost

Pup, Ghost; Nebula's Ghost

Elytra, Ghost; Atlas' Ghost

Synapse, Ghost; Mastermind's Ghost

Redrum, Ghost; Diavolo’s Ghost

Morrigan, Ghost; Cernunnos’ Ghost

Grandeur, Ghost; Kinkajou’s Ghost

Glimmer, Ghost; Comet’s Ghost

Greased Lightning/Greaser, Ghost; Axel's Ghost

Sapa, Ghost; Tankha’s Ghost

Screech, Vex Harpy; “Domesticated”

Here's a list of my fics to go read!

paradise unforgiven -- destiny fic inspired by paradise lost, about the traveler and the witness.

welcome home, son -- destiny fic about ace

[aeide-thea]

my feelings abt the latest @​staff post, point by point:

their efforts to convert visitors into new users mostly don't affect our experience, although they do make our blogs less accessible to the public which like. i don't love on principle but ultimately can shrug off, bc really i'm here for my mutuals'/followers' reactions to the things i post, not for the consumption of strangers who don't provide any feedback?

the bit about wanting to make sure they're "presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session" is concerning to me, because (while the language there is so vague that it requires some interpretive guesswork, which of course might be wrong) i can't help thinking, does that mean that if they run out of content to serve me which was posted by users i actually follow, they'll start supplementing with content recommended by the "algorithmic ranking capabilities" they're looking to improve, like a bad netflix search? very yikes if so.

i actually do agree with them that "the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing." the point about "[e]xplor[ing] the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed" does concern me a little, but i'm hoping they realize that reblogs of the same post with eg different tag commentary aren't in fact duplicates. and frankly the idea of reply sections that aren't just one giant undifferentiated bin, such that someone @​s you in the notes of a popular post and you then literally can't find their message because it's gotten buried, sounds potentially good to me!

the creator-related points seem—maybe okay, maybe less okay? like, "[g]et[ting] creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it" seems potentially positive, depending on how they define 'interested'—i'm open to finding out what they mean by that. but if it's an algorithm thing you can't opt out of, which the comment about "the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed ('Following')" would rather seem to suggest… that definitely concerns me.

the bit about "patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr" is totally fine, imo. all they're actually talking about in that section is (1) push notifications and (2) emails, and (1) while i personally like getting notified when mutuals post, you can turn notifications off if you don't like that, and (2) emails can always be filtered on the receiving end, if nothing else. so that's ignorable.

ultimately i think like. i definitely get the sense that they're looking to move towards a more algorithmic approach, which does concern me, but i feel like whether that's bearable depends on (1) whether they let existing users, at least, opt out, and (2) how intrusive it is? like, i've periodically looked at the 'for you' tab on purpose! it's just that ime it isn't very good! but like, a 'for you' tab that was more successfully interesting to me, and still cordoned-off rather than integrated into the main feed necessarily, could be a positive, potentially. on the other hand, if they want to go full-twitter? that would probably be unlivable. so we'll see, i guess! trying not to borrow trouble too far in advance.

[nebulouscoffee]

15 questions 15 mutuals*

*but I don't actually have 15 mutuals so we're just gonna have to make do lol

Thanks for the tag @bijoumikhawal!

Were you named after anyone?

Nope- though I almost was, first after my mom's little sister (who sadly passed away when they were children due to health complications) and then after a yoga teacher who turned my mom's life around- but in the end my parents went with some random name they just thought I "looked like" haha

When was the last time you cried?

*dramatic hair flip* well, I don't wanna brag, but, uh- I did cry myself to sleep last night💅💃🏾🙈 (no hugely tragic reason really lol it's just been a rough month)

Do you have kids?

Nope

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I definitely can be sarcastic sometimes, but idk maybe not to the extent where I feel like people who know me would describe me as "sarcastic"? Thinking about it, I guess I usually reserve it for commentary on stupid conflicts and like bigots and stuff, not for everyday interactions with people just being harmlessly sincere

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Faces I think? Not like any kind of evaluation, I just think that's the first thing I look at. Also I guess, do they look/sound like they're okay, or like they're having a bad day/in a bad mood

What’s your eye color?

Black. If you wanna get really technical, then really, really dark brown, but honestly it just looks black haha

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't see how they're mutually exclusive! But if I had to answer, I do like horror but it's not my top watched genre, so happy endings I guess? Idkkk I don't really get this question

Any special talents?

Special? Hmmm idk... I can do a pretty solid gollum impression, does that count😂 (okay maybe impressions in general, yes unfortunately I was That Kid in class who could do all the teachers and some of my impressions were even Teacher Approved😂😂)

Where were you born?

*pulls a Garak and tells you six different answers*

What are your hobbies?

Writing, cooking, music, reading, movies- is it weird to say researching? Love researching

Have any pets?

Yuppp she's a mutt she's a stray she's a queen I love her <3

What sports do you play/have you played?

LOLLL okay back when I was a teen and I used to play sports For Fun (as in, I was never part of any teams or anything, just messing around VERY non-competitively with my friends) I dabbled in basketball, badminton, football (as in the kind where you kick a ball with your foot, not whatever y'all got going on in the US), frisbee & volleyball on the beach. But I cannot stress this enough- I sucked at everything across the board and it was all just for fun lmao, literally you cannot put enough quotation marks around "played" when saying I "played" sports😂🙈 Anyway those days are all gone, now I walk my dog ig

How tall are you?

Smol (juuuust about 5'3'')

Favorite subject in school?

Ahh I could never choose!! I love you science I love you social studies I love you literature everything was so interestinggg (I was a terrible student though, failed exams All the time😌)

Dream job?

I actually would love to write novels and instrumentals and stuff... And I guess I could probably see myself working in wildlife conservation too, maybe later on in life

Tagging: uhhhh @fancy-a-dance-brigadier @lorenzobane @enterprisery @sapphosewrites @cordrazine-official ummmm @wanderingwriter87 @trillscienceofficer and YOU!! Yes, you, seeing this post, consider yourself tagged (cheating😌)

[mandaloresson]

I started watching Shadown and Bone; here are my thoughts

First of all, a big thank you to everyone who recommended this show to me! Before we start, I want to say that I will be critical of the show in my review, but that doesn't mean this is a hate watch, in fact, my friend and I are really enjoying it. We just like commentary :)

I'm only on episode two and I will probably update this thread as I go. Here are my thoughts on the first two episodes:

First, things I didn't like:

Too much narration. This only has to do with episode one. While I have no qualms with some opening narration, especially for a fantasy setting, I really thought it was unnecessary for Alina to provide her own narration after the opening one and after the credits. It was a bit clunky and hard to watch.

Confusing. Again, this mostly applies to episode one. I did say that I had no problem with the opening narration, however as someone who came into this show knowing nothing about the setting, the opening narration did nothing to enlighten me, I just came out of it confused. My friend and I only understood wtf a Grisha is in episode two.

Poor pacing. Leaning onto the previous point, the pacing of episode one left us horribly confused. They seemed to want to start in medias res, which is fine, but then they kept cutting back to flashbacks of Alina and Mal's past. This was horrible to attempt to follow, while also trying to grasp the main plot, Kaz's plot, and the overall lore. Speaking of Kaz, what was also horribly paced, poorly explained and confusing was the fact that Kaz and Alina's plots take place two weeks apart. My friend and I genuinely thought the two plots were simultaneous until the moment Alexei appeared. While I do understand the show probably wanted to avoid time tags such as "two weeks earlier" and "two weeks later," which would have been clunky, I do think they could have conveyed the time difference more competently.

However, I'm happy to say once the viewer has seen episode one and understands the plot somewhat, episode two mostly fixes the pacing issue already. You know who's where and when and what they're doing and there's fewer and more understandable flashbacks.

The main cast. I'm so sorry to say, but Alina seems to suffer from the "I don't wanna be a hero" complex which, while not inherently bad (my friend and I keep joking that this is just ATLA; the Grishas are benders and Alina is the Avatar, and you'll remember that Aang also has a "I don't want to be a hero" complex), with Alina it feels kind of forced. I'm just not buying her defiance. As for her narrative foil, the Darkling, he just seems like a by the books, cookie cutter dark and mysterious and badass love interest who is the main character's superior. Sorry, it's just the vibe I'm getting, but going in I already knew that these two characters would probably be my least favorite.

Now, onto the things I liked:

The aesthetic. I'm more on the screenwriting side myself rather than the cinematography side of things, but simply put, this show is beautiful to look at. The military base is very well designed, the Fold looks as ominous as everyone says it is, inside of it as well. I like that the lighting is also such that even in dark scenes, or for example in the Fold, you know what's going on. The clunkiness of the Barrel (? sorry I'm still a bit unclear on all the location names, but what I mean is where Kaz and his gang reside) and its whole vibe are immaculate. Great scenery, beautiful to look at as I said.

Costumes. Again, I'm more on the screenwriting side of things, but I adore the real life inspirations and diversity in the costumes, as well as how they play a part in the story (the Second Army coats that are bulletproof).

Magic vs. technology. We do joke that Grishas are just discount benders, but in fact the magic system is pretty interesting. What I love especially is the detail about how advancements in technology have changed the way Grishas are perceived. This is not often seen in fantasy, this relationship between magic and technology, as most fantasy just opts to be set in medieval times, but here, we have a very intriguing exploration of this relationship.

The plot. While I did have my qualms with the pacing, I do like the plot so far. It's attention grabbing and keeps you invested. So far, so good.

The main cast. I know I said I'm no big fan of Alina and the Darkling's, first I want to say that Ben Barnes and Jessie Mei Li are a delight in their respective roles. However, I am a big fan of the rest of the main cast. To anyone who knows me it'll come as no surprise that Kaz Brekker is my ultimate favorite, but I also adore Inej and Jesper, him especially. Mal has his charms as well. My friend and I joke that Alina and the Darkling are a bit too straight for me, while Kaz and Inej seem like two bisexuals who are (or will be) in a straight passing relationship, and that's why I like them a bit more haha. Either way, the cast is extremely intriguing, Jesper is a delight that Kaz's gang desperately needs considering Kaz's own and Inej's constant brooding. I don't mind the brooding, of course, it fits them very well, but it's good to have a comic relief. I love the characters, even Alina and the Darkling in my own way.

And that's it so far! I'll check back in during the week when we watch more.