#wow cool forklift

[fedoranon]

On to the second scene where Sousuke overreacts to a threat that doesn't exist and damn, Full Metal Panic is a psychological horror from his perspective, huh?

An unknown threat that could make their move at any time, and an innocent young girl's life and happiness rests on your shoulders, but she resists at every turn, because you're forbidden to tell her about the threat. A culture completely alien to everything you know, and your tools and comfort objects are constantly confiscated because the authorities around you can't fathom you needing them; after all, this country isn't at war...! Except you know better.

Unlike any other story where my sense of empathy turns a scene that's supposed to be comedic into something heart wrenching, I can still see where it's supposed to be funny. Like Sousuke just grabbed what he thought was a remote weapon and, while scrambling to figure out what to do with it, got hit by a truck and got flung into a bike rack. And then the dude's like, oh thank God, my briefcase full of spaghetti--! It's incredibly slapstick.

[funnier-when-objectum]

something i thought was funny, but ages ago when i was around 15 i had this strange fascination with forklifts and i would watch videos of people manning them and moving stuff around with them. it was cool, til y'know. i got flustered seeing forklifts actually DO the lifting. like wow girl? you can lift ALL OF THAT?

needless to say i have a huge thing for forklifts even now and i am very happy that i can be open with myself. OH and i have a keyboard wife, and she says hi to everyone here :-]

forklifts are great :] and hello to your keyboard!

[spiked-mall-goth]

can we hear your barbie thoughts?

okay heres just the copy paste from my letterboxd. (whew wee is it LONG)

i was so excited. that one is on me.

movie so so confusing. i thought i was in for like an absurdist comedy, but it was like forced feminist political commentary?? do NOT get me wrong on this one okay, i have seen so many people get torn to SHREDS for saying that they didn't like this movie bc they hate #girlpower. i am not one of those people. but idk abt u guys but i feel like its not that hard a concept to have a good female empowerment movie without just telling us straight in our faces that its female empowerment ALL. THE. TIME.. felt like i was being spoon fed with a forklift. theres this really cool special tactic called… subtlety.. wow its a crazy thing. they spent so much time shoving a message down my throat they.. forgot what it was.??? like they lost track of what they wanted to say like a million times over it was annoying. they said so much to mean so little. messaging so muddled the barbies literally interfered with a fucking government election and got away with it. they didn't want the kens to have any power so they took them away from the pink house and voted without them to put themselves back as the only leaders. the fuck barbie. i feel like the solution in barbieland was not to just fucking reinstall the matriarchy but instead work together as one to create an idyllic society where the barbies and the kens can live side by side without one towering over the other. the kens were not being horridly mistreated b4, but i understand wanting to be treated better. and i could have some mild sympathy for them, but as soon as they took over barbieland they just treated women like shit making them doing everything for them. and yes that is no good, but its interesting to me that the barbies did not take this as a lesson at all?? like they did not look back and really go, 'huh,, maybe you should ALSO have rights bc being seen and treated as inferior is not okay.' no they took it as an opportunity to shove more fucking glitter coated instagram infographic #positivity down my throat. i understand that this was kinda the point, to be like look! this is what its like and the 'just be yourself' solution means nothing in the end! just like the real world! but why would i want that? why would i want a backwards version of a fucking corrupt system that doesn't work? it doesn't work this way; flipping it, well guess what it still doesn't work. this is fucking barbieland, i WANT them to all be happy and equal in the end! i don't want to think about how awful everything is! its a fantasy world, why would you want to model it after the horrible deep sucking never ending vacuum into the black hole that is the real world? its my barbies and kens (and allen) and damnit i think that they should be happy. also side note, how tf did the kens brainwash the barbies??? like the fuck was that? to me that implies that the barbies also had the kens brain washed to be only accessories. like whoevers in power just has control over the other group? this movie makes everyone like a fucking monster.

can u believe i have more to say? turn back now bc i will never stop typing.

ummm kinda hated that random ass woman and her child? and i hate even more that i can refer to them as that. they were horridly bland fucking ONE dimensional characters. no personality, no real development, nothing. just a forced under-devloped mother daughter sub-plot that if my mother had seen would've cried and made me feel like it was my fault for growing up. (normal mom behavior or just me….??)

mattel, you fucking sleazy greased up wet RAT. you canOT,,, okay listen to me… CAN. NOT. make a movie like 'corporations bad! they dont hire women! rampant consumerism bad!!'. baby girl look in the mirror, its not funny, its not being 'self-aware', it makes me feel,, bad. like you can get away with anything bc you actually can. making literal cartoon goons of yourself as some sort of distraction from all of the very real major issues that are happening in the real world corporate mattel company is rancid. you can to be as 'self-aware' as you want but the bottom line is that you just flat out dont care. you won't change anything. trying to be funny about it makes me feel sick. you can't make capitalist consumerism the movie and try to be like 'yeah thats so bad right guys? you guys also hate corporations?! great!'. you cant have your cake and eat it too.

i liked allen. allen sweetheart baby girl darling dear honeybun beloved i'm so sorry the filmmakers hate you. dude literally had like 6 lines. justice for allen.

out of all the 'shameful' barbies i was actually most excited to see the inclusion of video cam barbie!!! i wanted that bitch soooo bad.

laughed a handful of times, as fucking painful as the depression barbie ad was i laughed really loud at the bbc pride and prejudice joke. i thought the godfather joke was also very funny. some of the doll jokes were funny, but its like okay guys this was low hanging fruit to begin with lets not repeat them like ten times over. the n-sync allen joke also got me. i know i laughed a bit in the theater… but as of right now i'm drawing a blank on standout jokes. that says smth huh?

i like the big ken dance number when they went to like abstract reality zone. that was good. now just remake this movie but like that. it needed to be more loose and fun, alter reality for a dance number! do that!! i want some goddamn old hollywood type of just nonsense sequences. the song was not good tho tbh.

costumes and set were… objectively very good! do NOT get me wrong. the team behind it is very talented and they did an awesome job! however. they went for more of a 'generic barbie' look for the barbies costumes and for barbieland. which to me ended up looking more haunting..? idk WHY but the lack of actual dolls just chilling around made the few real dolls stand out like sore thumbs. that and also it felt like edward scissorhands type of suburbia. complete pastel hellscape. the thought of living in a 'perfect' pink pastel world where everything is the same everyday forever and if ur slightly different you literally get banished forever is horrifying. wheres all the girl power huh?? what happened to women helping women??? nope, you look kind odd?? sorry we hate you forever.

the ending was also just a hot hot garbage fire. whhyyyy did barbie decide she no longer wanted to be a barbie……? i feel like i missed that part since we were so focused on ken. oh so its bc she saw just a fuckinh home video slideshow?? yeah okay whatever just roll credits so i can leave now pls. a gynecology joke. really?

feminist movies do need to be made. but why with barbie? she has never been a feminist icon. this isn't her domain. she's just barbie. and trying to attach real life feminist issues to a fucking plastic doll to be bought and sold, to be commodified doesn't sit right with me. shes not meant to be this complex guys, and i feel like they just completely fumbled on that. to me barbie is just there. you play dress up with her, take her on fun adventures, play with your friends, you don't pick up a barbie doll and go 'wow i would just love to have this woman be groped and then come to terms with the real world and its many problems'. thats stupid. i was in for a fun little roadtrip adventure movie with barbie and her friends. and this was just too much.

this movie was not fun and whimsical to me. it was drab, it was horrifying, it was depressing. i wanted to have a brief escape from reality, but instead i was faced with the same atrocities of everyday life but hot pink and glitter coated. which only added to the awful feeling of 'it will be this way forever.' it wasn't a silly movie about being a woman and what that means, it was a faux women power movie made by massive corporations trying to tell us that they are hip and relatable and that you should buy so much merchandise. it was just one big reminder that capitalism will live forever and it will only get worse because everyone just eats it up if its brightly colored.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

goodness golly gracious i haven't been here in a hot minute -🍒 anon!! :)

i HEAVILY apologise for showing up, saying i got hit by a forklift, then vanishing off the face of gods green earth 😭😭 that wasn't my intention AT ALL (i'm 100% better now btw :) )

i only realized just how long it had been since i've been here when i thought of something funny and was like "hey, team mom would think that's hilarious" ... "TEAM MOM--" 💀💀

your posts are still as hilarious as ever though, i'm glad that hasn't changed since i've left!! :D

n e ways, just wanted to come here and say this:

you know whenever you're around younger kids and they're just like "watch this" and then they just, like, jump and spin in a circle and then look at you for praise and validation? 100% Goshiki with miss manager LMAOO

nice being here again!!

-🍒 anon!! :)

🍒 anon 😱😱 HIIIIII

Honestly I totes understand ghosting after a huge announcement 😅 I may or may not have done it several times to people so it’s ok!! I am very glad you are better btw!

You spoke to be when you said “whenever you’re around younger kids…” because as a parent unit of a child and pre-teen, I am very much use to the “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” Stewart from MadTV vibes. (If you don’t know who Stewart is, please YouTube it!)

Goshiki, Hinata, Kogane, Terushima, freaking OIKAWA all give those vibes

“Look what I can do!” - Then : D

Manager 👉🏻 wow so cool 😐

Them 👉🏻😌💅

Toddlers all of them 🙄

[besidesitstoowarm]

"The Voyage of the Damned" thoughts

put this off forever bc i didn't want to see it. in the end it was fine even if i keep mixing the title up with "planet of the dead"

ten slaying in his tux-with-converse look that had the 2007 girlies in a chokehold. troy bolton wears the same thing in high school musical 3 btw. if you even care. he gets interested in the angel statues that to me look like craghas "crabfeeder" drahar from hit hbo drama "house of the dragon". do you think the doctor would support the greens or the blacks

we meet max capricorn who is the most "john waters from wish" looking person i've ever seen. and max capricorn as a name sounds like a discount drag name. i like that everyone is wearing 10s-20s era clothing, the mix of titanic-era set dressing with typical sci-fi machinery actually blends really nicely. the two "low class" contest winners are in cowboy clothing which i also like since a lot of the nouveau riche around the turn of the century were oil millionaires from out west (in america anyway). they seem extremely nice and i would love to hang out at a buffet with them

the doctor flirts with kylie minogue, who actually does a really good job in the role, she's very wide-eyed and charming and the character felt fully realized. doctor who is really good at one-offs. he offers a "brand new sky" and she takes it and off to london where we meet WILFRED MOTT, MY GRANDDAD!!!! i completely forgot he was in this one. i screamed "GRANDDAD" when he appeared and scared my bf

the captain is on a suicide mission and apologizes to alonso. i have never seen alonso's actor in anything but he looks so familiar. the actor is gay btw. i loved the captain's "they promised me old men" speech, he's dying and needed the bribe money to take care of his family once he's gone but he was trying to limit the collateral damage to his crew ASTEROID ATTACK

we learn that the doctor is 903 years old. i think this is the first time his age is stated? nine had the whole "900 years of time and space" but i'd assumed he was just rounding. does he celebrate his birthday? i love the idea that he has no idea how old he is and is just guessing. the second doctor was canonically ~450. anyway they're trying to navigate the ship and the cowboy couple try to repair a broken angel bc they were like mechanics back home. i think it's interesting that in sci-fi, robots are stuff for poor people

cyborgs were recently granted rights and "can even get married" which is nice for them. the doctor says "you should see me in the morning" and astrid says "okay" and he looks like he stuck a fork in a socket. they're both sooo down bad this ep. i'd like to have seen her as a companion for a few episodes, adam-style except adam sucked and astrid is cool

max capricorn is a head in a jar. i'm not kidding that this is the exact same twist as the movie "prometheus" did ridley scott steal that from this episode?? it's the same goddamn thing. that movie was awful. i rejoiced when astrid killed him with a forklift, barbara-style (running over bad guys is always barbara-coded for me). the doctor brings the tour guide professor to london cause he's a millionaire on earth and he just like. cries with joy cause he can have a HOUSE with a DOOR and a GARDEN and DISHES and wow he's just like me fr. he refuses to take him with him cause he "travels alone" tenth doctor voice what kind of time lord takes a companion you can't fuck

this episode was in memory of verity lambert who had recently died when it was released. i had no idea who she was last time i saw this episode so i never noticed that. always famous to me verity <3

[lesbianistically]

I love crocheting in public…… the comments you get from people are so nice

[ironmanfridgemagnet]

Sitting on the Shelf - Marcus White x Reader

Part 2 - Magazine Profile

SOTS Masterlist

"Oh, I would definitely kill a wolf." Garret said turning away from you to look at Glenn, who's voice was a whisper amongst the chatter of the break room.

"Really?" You asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "I call bullshit. You could not. At all." Placing your half-drank coffee on the table in front of you, you sighed - Garrets confidence in his own ability was something else.

Dina hit the table in front of you hard, causing you to jump as the table shook and a loud chap sounded around the break room.

"Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Okay. Today is a, uh, very exciting day, because "Stratus" is doing a profile on our store. Yeah, ooh! Oh, yeah!" Glenn said proudly, finally being able to get his morning speech out as the break room had silenced.

"What's "Stratus"?" Jonah asked, causing you and Garret to let out deep groans. You'd already heard about Stratus too many times.

"Um, only our internal corporate magazine!" Mateo jovially answered, still on the high of his new job; and clearly trying to suck up to Glenn.

""Magazine" isn't exactly accurate." Amy started, folding her arms across her chest as she sank into her seat.

"It's more like misleading propaganda." You finished, picking up your mug and taking a long sip of your still warm drink.

"No, it's not!" Glenn demanded, his words coming out as a whine. Clearly this meant a lot to him that Stratus were going to be in store.

""Minimum wage is maximum fun!"" Amy read the cover of the magazine she'd just picked up off the table, sarcasm lacing her words.

"It is!" Glenn moaned, pushing his hands to his side, almost like a toddler having a tantrum.

""Work it Off: A Guide to Injuries on the Job."" Jonah added, grimacing as he read the unfortunately true title.

"Oh, that is a super fun read." Glenn said pointing to the magazine Jonah was holding.

"Oh yeah, I loved 'working it off' when I broke my leg." You said to Glenn, the sarcasm completely going over his head. It'd been three years since you'd broken your leg trying to use the forklift - as unfortunate as that day was, what wasn't was how it just so happened to flare up in pain whenever you were asked to help out in the warehouse. Funny that.

"See! Even y/n agrees, and she had to do exactly that." Glenn waved his finger in-front of his face as he spoke, still trying to make Stratus seem cool and interesting.

"They had you working on a broken leg?" Jonah asked as he leaned over towards you, concern filling his features.

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad though, it meant I didn't have to do anything but checkouts for 6 weeks. I had a great time." You whispered in response, trying to seem like you were listening to Glenn as he spoke.

"Wow. And you didn't even get a pay out? Bummer." Jonah said, focus intently on the article in front of him, suddenly filled with overwhelming concerned for how he'd be treated if that - or worse - happened to him.

"What? No. I got a 5k pay out and they covered my hospital bills. I told them my dad was a lawyer and he'd sue them if they didn't give me some kind of compensation." You scoffed at Jonah underestimating you, no way would you have let corporate get away without giving you nothing.

"You dads a lawyer? That's so cool! What kind of-"

You cut Jonah off quickly, Turing to face him as you said, "I was lying dude."

Without waiting to see his reaction you turned to face Cheyenne as she began to speak.

"Ooh, there's a jingle-writing contest. Bo could enter that. If he won, he could stop dancing for his Mom's friends." You cringed at the thought of Bo doing anything, especially dancing for his moms friends.

"It's my responsibility to show the reporter around, so, please, let's put our best foot forward, okay? Cheyenne, that means no falling asleep in the bedding department." Glenn gave out an uneasy smile, fiddling with his hands as he spoke.

"I get tired, Glenn. I'm pregnant." Cheyenne moaned, throwing her arms up in disagreement.

"Not today, you're not!" Glenn cheered a large smile on his face.

"Uh, oh, and Sal, I'm gonna need you to take the creepiness down to about a two, okay?" Turning to look at Sal you saw him taking small bites of his grapes, leaving a deep pit of unease in your stomach.

"Garrett, um, I love those nicknames you come up with for me, but, uh, some people might see them as insulting, so why don't you just get 'em out of your system now?" Glenn smiled at the man sat next to you, hoping today of all days would go well.

"Glennda, G-Nothing, Glenngarry Glenn Loss, Glennema, Glenntil Soup, TransGlennder." Garret let the stream of nicknames flow out of his mouth, his list of teases groaning ever longer. You were starting to think that they wasn't anything Garret couldn't turn into a nickname for Glenn.

"Oh, that's a new one." Glenn replied with a firm smile on his face, trying his hardest not to let Garret get into his head. He really wanted today to be perfect huh.

"You got to keep this reporter away from me. I hate reporters." Dina's voice came from behind you, startling you slightly as you hadn't expected her input.

"My school paper once misidentified me as a scoliosis victim. I mean, the joke is, my spine is perfect, okay? I can bench 160. 165 in the right situation." You looked at Dina as she looked at Jonah, seeing as she suggestively raised her eyebrow at the unassuming man.  A shared look with Garret told you he was just as confused - and possibly scared - as you were.

"Okay! Let's get out there and have a newsworthy day." Glenn announced, cutting through the awkward silence that had settled upon the break room.

"Do it for the old uh, G-Spot! See? You're not the only one who's good at nicknames." With a heavy sigh you rose from your seat in the break room, sipping the last of your coffee as you stood. You'd already had enough of today.

——————————————————————————————————

As you and Garret sat talking at the customer service desk, Jonah slowly made his way over to you, letting your current conversation die out as he leant against the counter beside you.

"Anyway, If you see the reporter show up today, please let me know so I can hide. I do not want them to put me on the cover." Garret said, mostly to you though his words weren't lost on Jonah.

"That's pretty cocky." Jonah scoffed at Garrets words, believing them to be self absorbed. He didn't know how Stratus seemed to act yet, and you couldn't blame him; you yourself had only seemed to notice today while staring at the pile of magazines in the break room this morning.

"Oh, it's not ego. These corporate magazines love putting employees with disabilities on the cover. Look." Garret pulled out a stack of Stratus Magazines he had been keeping beneath the counter and handed them to Jonah as you spoke.

"Wow. You were not kidding." Jonah flicked through the pages of the magazines before him, though largely focusing on the covers.

"And they really gonna come after me, especially with Face Birthmark Tony on vacation." Garret said, his eyebrows creasing in frustration at the fact his one scapegoat was gone.

"Yeah, I'll bet. Anyway, are we even sure he's on vacation? I mean I swear he's been gone for over a month now?" Confusion laced your words; Tony had been gone for a while now that you'd thought about it. Hopefully he was onto greener pastures then cloud 9.

"Yeah, and getting a black guy in a wheelchair on the cover would be like their Holy Grail or something." Jonah said nonchalantly, his gaze still lingering on covers of the magazines in his hands.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You trying to say being black's a disability?" Garret asked, his voice raising in anger as he spoke.

"Oh, no. No, no, no." Jonah spat out, trying to deny whatever Garret was trying to suggest he was trying to suggest. And you couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Now, that's no. No, of course, no. I, I have lots of..." Jonah continued, stumbling over his words as he tried to formulate an explanation and trying to avoid digging himself into a hole.

"What?" Garrett asked, eyebrows raised in question.

"I listen to Drake." Jonah said, folding his arms across his chest and sinking into himself slightly - he had dug himself a crater.

"Drake?" Garret asked in shock, trying to hide the laugh that was bubbling up in his chest.

"No, no, no. I watch BET sometimes." Jonah said, his confidence faltering greatly as he looked anxiously between the two of you.

"I'm messing with you, dude." Garret said, both you and him bursting out in laughter, your head throwing backwards as a wide smile filled your features.

"Okay. Good. Thank God. I've never watched BET." Jonah said, letting out a heavy sigh as he spoke, anxiety leaving his body.

"Yeah, me either, man." He responded, the remains of his laughter coming out as a sigh.

Jonah stood from where he was leaning on the counter, announcing he was going to find Amy before swiftly walking away - leaving you and Garret at the customer service counter.

As the final drags of laughter left your body a comfortable silence lay over the two of you.

Ever since you'd worked at cloud 9, you'd been practically glued to Garrets side. On your first day, you'd followed him around like a lost puppy and surprisingly, he'd let you. Eventually you'd built up the courage to talk to him and you'd been good friends since. He was the kind of friend that was fun to do even nothing with: showing each other funny videos, or trying to hide from Amy, or Dina, sitting in silence. Garret was a great friend once he let you in, which is why he could read you like a book.

"Why didn't you let Glenn take you home the other day?" Garret asked, breaking the silence between you and filling it with an eerie tension. You should've know better than to think he'd let you get away with the little escapade you'd performed the other night.

"Like I said, Amy said she needed to talk to me, plus I think she was getting take out or something - she mentioned in the car that Adam was meant to be cooking that night and you know how-"

"Cut the bullshit y/n." Garret interrupted, cutting off your lame attempt at an excuse. He knew better than that.

"Listen Gare, you know I love you, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I'll tell you as soon as I'm ready. I promise." You sank into yourself as you spoke; things had been hard the past few weeks, and you didn't know how ready you were to tell people - anyone - about it.

Amy had found out by accident.

You'd been sat outside the store at the bus stop, Sandra had just got on the 58X to head home and you were finally alone for the first time that day. The tears had welled up in your eyes as you'd waved Sandra goodbye, and had streamed down your face as the bus doors closed behind her. Once the bus drove away you couldn't hold back the heaving sobs that came from deep within the caverns of your chest. Despite the fact you'd waited for your usual bus, you weren't getting on it today.

Glenn had put you on a closing shift that day, and you'd made sure to drag out leaving as long as you could, to not raise any suspicion as to why you'd missed your usual bus. So you'd been extremely surprised when Amy's arms had wrapped around you and a stream of comforting words had been whispered in your ear. In the unleashing of your sadness you'd forgotten Amy had been asked to lock up, and had parked just over from the bus stop, a clear line of sight to where you'd stood.

You'd spent a long time crying that night. Once Amy had finally coerced you into her car, she'd driven you back to her house, where you'd sat down together in her living room, a warm cup of coffee in your hands. Emma was tucked away in bed by the time you'd got there and Adam was off working on some new aspiration of his.

After letting everything out to Amy she'd given you a spare duvet and some pillows, leant you a pair of her pyjamas, and told you to get some rest. You don't remember ever feeling as small as when you, Amy, Adam and Emma sat around their dining table the next morning and discussed letting you move in.

Since that day you'd been sneaking into Amy's car at the end of your shifts - most of them lining up with hers as you'd both gone to Glenn and begged him to change your shifts - and you managed to get away with it until a few days ago.

"It's nothing bad I promise." That was a lie.

"I'm just going through some stuff, and she's helping me with it." You shrugged as you spoke, hoping it seemed like nothing was going on.

"Sure, it's nothing bad doll." He replied rolling his eyes as he spoke; even though he didn't believe a word you said, he believed it enough to not question you any further.

"Well it is, so." You said, scrunching your face at him as you hopped off the counter.

"Well, I'm going to... go work or something for once." You said, the last part under your breath as you walked away from Garret and the customer service counter.

"I'm on to you baby girl." Garret shouted after you as you walked away, a small smile forming on your face at his words.

——————————————————————————————————

Despite telling Garret you were going to work, you headed straight to the break room where you bumped into Amy.

"Everything okay?" She asked, grabbing you by the shoulders as she rubbed your arm gently.

"Yeah, just, Garret asked me about the other night and then it got me thinking about my mom and now-" you stopped speaking abruptly, feeling suddenly very choked up, your hand coming to cover your mouth.

"I'll take Heather off of checkouts y/n. Go chill in the break room, or Glenn's office, or... somewhere. We'll talk later okay?" She sent you a sympathetic smile, letting go of you as she walked back into the chaos of the store.

The break room couch was calling your name as you headed straight to it, laying on your side, curling up and closing your eyes. Though you couldn't escape the store physically, letting your mind drift away from the troubles of reality provided you with a much welcomed option.

——————————————————————————————————

"I'm sorry to interrupt all of your days, but I think this would be a good time for me to go over Cloud 9's policy on inappropriate sexual behaviour in the workplace." Dina words caused you to lull out of your sleep. Sitting up slowly you took in the break room, seeing everyone gathered round listening intently to Dina's words.

"Geez Dina, could you talk any louder?" You asked, stretching your arms above your head as you tried to de-cramp your back from sleeping on the hard couch of the break room.

"Glad to have you back in the room y/n." Dina replied, sarcasm filling her words. Clearly you'd missed something big.

"It was my break Dina, who are you to judge how I spend it?" You snapped back, a bit cranky from being woken up, straightening out your uniform.

"Oh. You said this was an emergency!" Glenn whined as he stood in the doorway of the room, his face scrunching in frustration at the fact Dina had pulled him away from his work.

"I know what I said." Dina responded, shrugging her shoulders with confidence.

You stood up quietly, walking around to outside of the room towards your usual seat next to Garret which had been left empty. As you sat he pushed a steaming cup of coffee towards you, sending you a wink as he did.

"Now, before I start this seminar, does anyone have something they'd like to say?" An awkward silence filled the room as everyone looked at each other. God knows who's done something this time.

"Okay, fine. Sal and I are having sex in the dressing rooms." Sandra admitted, your eyebrows scrunching as she spoke - it wasn't the weirdest gossip you'd heard about the store.

"I don't even like him. I have self-esteem issues, and I think being with him is a way of me punishing myself. It's messed up." Sandra's rant was cut off with a loud;

"Shut up, Sandra. God, you are such a whiner. Sit down. Anyone else? Okay. Well, then without further ado, please watch this video on inappropriate sexual behaviour in the workplace." As she turned on the screen the security footage of the warehouse filled it, a video of Jonah and some Blonde woman getting all hot and heavy being broadcast to all of you.

"Okay! Jonah! Well, well, well." Garret cheered, clapping Jonah on the back as you raised your eyebrow at him in question. Of all people, you hadn't expected Jonah to be getting it on at work. You were almost impressed.

A blushed filled his cheeks, both under the burn of your gaze and the different jeers from around the break room.

"I think we've seen enough." Jonah shouted, rushing up to cover the screen with the span of his arms, his blush deepening as he spoke.

"Why would anybody be attracted to Jonah? He looks like a villain on the CW." Mateo scoffed, causing you to let out a short laugh - he wasn't wrong.

"Uh, maybe it's because she thought all of his brilliant ideas were inside his mouth, so she had to, like, get in there with her tongue and suck 'em out." Amy's words made you laugh harder, though the realisation of what she said made you stop. Holy shit, that was the Stratus lady.

"Oh, my God. You will spread your legs for anyone who will write a story about you, won't you?" Mateo scoffed yet again, rolling his eyes at Jonah's actions.

"That has nothing to do..." Jonah's attempt to defend himself failed as his words were drowned out.

"Jonah. There's about 50 store rules broken on that tape." Dina's stern tone surprised you, you'd seen her serious, but this felt different, almost angry.

"I know." Jonah let out a deep sigh, clearly having given up on trying to defend himself over the very visible evidence.

"It is disgusting." Dina insisted, her gaze firmly on Jonah as she spoke. Surely she didn't have the power to take any serious action for what happened?

"I'm sorry." Jonah let out a defeated sigh, worried he was going to loose his job after such a short time at Cloud 9. You hoped he wasn't about to get fired over this.

"And there's just one thing left to say. You're safe now. Bring it in. Wow. You fit right in there perfectly, don't you? You've been sexually assaulted." You nearly spat out your coffee at Dina's words - you really must have missed a lot while you were napping.

"And I was hoping you could start to heal by admitting that here in a safe place, but..." Dina continued, still holding Jonah tightly in her grasp. What was going on today?

"You are obviously very ashamed." Dina affirmed, rubbing her hand up and down Jonah's back as she supported him.

Of course the one day you sneak away to take a nap, everything possible under the sun happens. Jonah's insistent 'no's' continued as Dina carried out her mantra of comfort.

The repetitive conversation faded into the background of your mind as you stared into the cup of now warm coffee. Garret had made it for you despite knowing where you were or if you'd show. He truly was a good friend.

You zoned back in as Jonah walked over to you, a deep red blush still covering his face as he sank down into his chair.

"Interesting day?" You asked, taking a long sip from your mug, meeting his eyes as he looked up at you from his seat.

"No actually, the exact same thing happened yesterday, you can't make this sort of thing up." You let out a short laugh at his words, a wide smile forming on your face.

"How about you? I've not seen you around today. I was looking for you earlier to come chat with me while I stocked grocery but I couldn't find you anywhere. And then, well, I got a tiny bit distracted." His concern warmed your heart, it was sweet that he'd been looking for you.

"Oh I've just been chilling in here. I wasn't feeling it today." You took another long sip of your coffee, finishing the mug and standing to place it in the sink. Ignoring Jonah's worried gaze, you walked over to the door of the break room.

"You coming?" You asked causing Jonah to scramble out of his seat, rushing to catch up with you as you walked out towards the store together.

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"I guess my philosophy of life is "dare to dream", but also "dream to dare." But also daring to not..." Mateo bragged as you and Jonah walked up to the Status lady together.

"Okay, so the article that I'm writing is about the store in general and not any one individual." She replied a snarky attitude fuelling her words. Sure you didn't love Mateo's self righteous bragging, but it wasn't bad enough to shut it down.

"Oh. Okay. Well, if you do decide to write an article about me, I'll be in the Stock Room, waiting. I'm willing to do whatever it takes." Mateo's change in tone surprised you, his attempt at acting straight even more.

Jonah dug his elbow into your side causing you to stifle your laugh under a sharp intake of breath. As you met his eyes he sent you a stern look, though the smug smile forming on his face told you he too found Mateo's words funny.

"Uh, God." With a deep groan he walked away, tried of trying to impress the tall, blonde woman; which clearly wasn't going anywhere anyway.

"Oh, God." Cynthia said as Dina started to walk up to her; this would be good.

"You are a journalist and a rapist, and those are the two worst things any person can be. Now, listen up, Connie Chung. If you set foot in this store ever again I will bring hell down on you." Dina shouted, pointing her finger in the woman's face. Despite the seriousness of Dina's words, you were trying desperately not to laugh. From what Jonah had told you of the days events, Dina's story was far from the truth, her adoration for the dark haired man blinding her from reality.

As Amy came to join you and Jonah, you stared at Garret as he convinced the photographer to take a photo of both him and Glenn. All Glenn had wanted to be on the cover of Stratus, and Garret - being the sweetie you come to know him to secretly be - put aside his own feelings to make Glenn's day better. Wow.

Turning back to Jonah and Amy you asked, "so you leaving? Or..."

"Just waiting for my ride." He replied, a smug look on his face. What was he hiding?

"Hey. Let's go. My hotel's right around the corner." Cynthia said, the photograph stood beside her flicking through the photos on his camera.

"Wow. So you guys have, like, more ideas to talk about." Amy scoffed, rolling her eyes in disbelief.

"Uh, no, no. It's like you said. I'm just really, really, cute." Jonah smirked, his ego clearly being bloated with each word that came out of his mouth.

"That's not what I said!" Amy shouted after him as he walked away, moving in sync with Cynthia.

"Like a panda." He replied, turning his head to send both you and Amy a wide and glistening smile.

"You think Jonah's cute?" You asked Amy, turning to face her as you spoke.

"N-no, I don't, why would I? I- shut up!" She shouted, looking flustered as she stormed away to the car in anger. Oop - maybe you hit a nerve?

"I'm only joking Ames!" You shouted, running after her to make sure you'd still get a lift home despite your teasing.

"Of course you are y/n. I can't wait until you mention someone being cute - I'm going to tease you so much, you don't even know." Amy laughed to herself as she climbed into the car and fastened her seat belt. Lucky for you, you weren't set on finding anyone cute; at least not anytime soon.

"So, what happened today? You know, between you and Garret?" All joking tone had left Amy's voice as she asked you the question that had been dwelling on her all day. Since she'd bumped into you on your way to hide in the break room, she'd been overran with worry.

She knew you could handle yourself; against rude customers, or creepy older guys, anyone (or anything) didn't ever seem to get to you. But your Mom always did.

Amy could tell you hadn't told Garret - but she knew you would, in your own time - she's doubts you'd ever have told anyone if she hadn't seen you at the bus stop that day. Sooner, or later, you'd tell Garret - or he'd figure it out - and he'd be just as worried about you as she was. She was hoping that day came sooner rather than later.

"It's okay now, he said he was 'onto me.' But I'll tell him soon. Maybe." Amy sent you a knowing look as you spoke, setting the car in reverse and pulling out of her parking spot.

"Okayyy." You whined, letting out a deep sigh, "I'll tell him soon; I promise. I didn't think talking about it would upset me that much. But when he started asking questions I just got overwhelmed! And then I started thinking about that night and my chest felt like it was closing up and-"

"Y/n!" Amy shouted bringing your words to a halt. "Try not to think about it okay? Let's just get home. I'm making pasta for dinner."

"With the cloud9 halo red sauce?" you were thankful Amy had changed the subject, your chest allowing you to breath again after the thoughts of that night had left your mind once more.

"Yeah of course, Emma likes that one too." She responded, letting a comfortable silence blanket the car.

After a long pause, revelling in the comfort of silence and the warmth of the heater blasting in your face, you asked, "so you think Jonah's cute?"

Your words were met with a loud scoff and a mantra of denial, Amy's face heating up once again. A wide grin filled your face as she continued to dispute Jonah's words, laughter now filling the car.

——————————————————————————————————

Want to be added to the taglist? send an ask to let me know <3

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Hey guys! Thank you so much for your patience with this chapter. I wanted to spend some time developing the character of y/n and building their backstory in these first few chapters.

I'm thinking I want to try and start posting a new part every Wednesday, however part 3 is nearly complete so that may be out sooner than that. In the next part we get to have the first introduction of Marcus as I didn't want to wait till 'demotion' to introduce him.

Please let me know what you think and how I can improve for you guys!

<3

[quinntamsin]

"Xalanyn?" she blinked, her eyes narrowing as she listened to the recordings retrieved from John-117. Quinn glanced at the hovering image of Aurora before she scoffed. "More Forerunner bullshit." "I agree." The AI repeated succinctly.

Halo SE1 Episode 7 "Inheritance" opens with use jumping back into Kwan's history. We see her and her family enjoying their life as a newcomer joins the table. Kwan argues with her father and then storms off. This seems to point to a lot more motivation for the girl on why she is fixated on resurrecting her father's legacy. And we jump back to the present day, she is storming through the desert with no Soren in sight while barreling right into a fucking sand storm. And wow, the girl gets herself black bagged. Fucking hell Kwan, you are just so fucking unaware. Lol, Soren is back on Rubble, and we seem to be learning a bit about his partner. A member of the large Hungarian-speaking pop on the collection of stations. And the bounty comes up and we get a standoff. The partner apparently is getting pushed forward by his girl, and sadly we can see the issues brewing more and more among Rubble's population. Kwan is back in the desert among white-haired... desert-dwelling women. What in the name of the nine is going on, this is so off canon. This is kind of a lot of filler IMO I am going to predict these women are more Forerunner-inspired culties. Or something akin to Forerunner stuff related to the reclaimed gene. Switching to Vinsher, we get pretty cut and dry bit of exposition. All of this is just really random sidestories. Honestly, this is so far the blandest of the various episodes. First, let's talk about how the sections on Rubble and Madrigal feel like poor imitation attempts at Dune and the Expanse. Soren's partner is obviously a kind of lame attempt to show how the UNSC has an underworld. I get it, but this is just, this doesn't fit the Space Opera military science fic created by the games and the books. And, we get some story on the early settlers of madrigal, and wow, yup called it. Forerunner tech inspiring cult witchery. I get it, its cool to create these elaborate (and yet kind of shallow) attempts at colony worlds. Here's the rub, you can't specialize the Gene that gives humans access to Forerunner tech. As a species that was our birthright or so we thought in the Halo games. Then you start tossing out all of this mysticism related to the tech and the alien worlds. This is just kind of unnecessary writing and honestly its leaning a bit too hard on the "Chosen One" story. So, Kwan has a vision, and she starts running into a few important faces including the prisoner from Rubble as well as Chief. Now we get a fucking fighting montage. To be honest I zoned out during this scene until it got to the avatar-esque previous self-imagery. It was, again, kind of predictable. If we didn't have some halfway decent actors I would have actively skipped this scene. She's a protector, whatever that means, and again I'm going to say this circles back to Forerunner tech. Back in the land of "BELTERS" I MEAN RUBBLERS (seriously this entire scene feels like someone binged a lot of season 3 expanse). Basically, Soren scares his partner (with a proper amount of violent maiming via forklift). This seems to be a pretty standard reaction to someone questioning your power as well as a girl half your size getting the jump on you. Vinsher is again on the warpath and apparently thinks that committing some massacres of Kwan's family will fix things. bitch, this man is such a twirling mustache villain. The bastard in a very pseudo-tyrant (I say this because he's only got that assassin really proving his worth as a military strong man) deciding that killing people gets the job done. Plus of course, on a desert planet, we should all were large thick black clothing (this is fucking stupid). Seriously, this reminds me of a tumble joke that stated "there is no evil only fashion!" One thing I do like about Madrigal is how it's a melding of various cultures. Wait, how did SOREN get back to Madrigal so fast? This fucking episode had such random fucking pacing. Seriously, a few better indications and hell even more of a date would have helped. Because it's seriously disjointing to me as a viewer. And wow, Vinsher is fucking doing a full-on bad guy rant that we ignore. Seriously, I was either out of it tonight as I wrote this, OR I am just so uninterested in this weird side story. The idea of blowing the enemy of jacket-wearing blade runners is a good one. I like the idea of this finally becoming a fucking shootout. Soren is on a murder spree and we get a nice scene of Kwan being a sneaky bint. What is with this show unbalancing its action so much with its drama? First, I was the slow build to dropping Makee and now it's this. I really hope Season 2 is far more consistent. Kwan get's a spartan assault rifle and Soren is on the ground after getting shot. Oh, this is going to be tasty. Yup, all of them bastards got literally fried. Not a nice way to go, but you know what, fuck that authority bullshit. The wiches show up as well, and what is going on here. Is Guilty Spark or a Forerunner Ancilia going to pop out. Next thing you tell me there's a fucking Precursor on the damn sight. The rain created from the hydrogen explosion was a cute touch. I like how it doesn't seem mystic, but still how is. The idea of reseeding Madrigal using the hydrogen to create water isn't a bad idea. We see Soren fly off into the sky leaving Kwan to reign in Madrigal. I hope this doesn't become a lost storyline, but hey this show is kind of hit and miss a lot of the time! Hottakes: They really seem to like to go with the Expanse vibe with Rubble and Soren’s storyline. Gods, the Witches are okayish, but this seems silly like weird Domain witchcraft.

[thehungryplaice]

Go Back To The 80s With The Hungry Plaice....

https://www.the-hungryplaice.uk/go-back-to-the-80s-at-your-event

The 80s....What a Decade! I don't mind admitting we are big 80s lovers at The Hungry Plaice, it was the decade of our childhood filled with cheese and the start of the video game revolution and if we could go back in time that's where you would find us, I would love to go back to experience the feelings of being back there but with alot more appreciation for what we had as we didn't have a clue back then how fab that time was. There are loads of 80s revivals around, 80s pop stars relaunching their careers and touring again and TV shows picking up on the 80s themes. We love our 80s vans so much that we currently have two these are our Vintage Fish and Chip Vans Betty and Beryl, we try not to look around and see if there are any more for sale as we would be quite happy to fill up our driveway with more of these beauties!

The 80s was filled with fun, fun and loads more fun from the Neon leggings we all wore to the Arcades full of cool games that we used to play, things back then just seemed so much easier and we were still in the days when it was safe for us kids to be playing out all day without our parents knowing where we were rather than being stuck in your bedroom glued to a game, we enjoyed fresh air and freedom and as long as we were back for tea our parents didn't worry about us. We didn't have rules like we do nowadays, Health and Safety was in it's infancy and as kids we could do pretty much what we wanted, we had metal bars we would swing on in the playground at school with huge concrete stepping stones you'd jump across, I got a scar from banging my nose on one of those in my Primary School and I still think it was character building. At home we had a metal framed bunk bed I'm sure was from MFI, there was a metal netted bottom that the mattress sat on top of, I always used to get my hair tangled up in that and I'm sure I've probably got bald patches from where I had to be cut out to be freed. We had a pampas greenish coloured bathroom set in my childhood home which would be considered Vintage today and lots of brown 80s things around the house like pull down coiled lights in the ceilings. My parents were delighted when they had the chance to put an eye level oven in the kitchen and ditch the freestanding gas oven where you had the grill at the top and try to burn your hands when you were cooking your fish fingers, we did have a microwave at some point and that lead to a rebellion on proper cooking! I remember using libraries alot when I was younger, it was a treat going and picking out books you could take away home, there was a limit to the number that you could have and you had to be careful not to get a fine for taking it back late. Information had to be researched and you couldn't do that from the comfort of home, for school I had to go there to find books on certain subjects and I remember being fascinated when having to use those terminals to look at old newspapers. The music was so much better back then, there was a happiness to songs that just made you want to dance not full of rude words and sexual references like today, we had an array of one hit wonders and big massive stars like Madonna and Kylie, Duran Duran and Wham! The songs still get played today but they sound more superior as we no longer listen to them on cassette tapes.

Cassette Tapes.....they were the days, I forgot how you had to rewind them to the beginning to get to the start and you could use a pencil if the tape pulled out and how there are pauses between songs and of course whilst you can try to to rewind and forward wind you'll never find the start of a song, we are spoilt now that we can do that just by pressing a button. The most embarrassing bit was when I asked my husband if something was wrong with the tape as the pause was going on just a bit too long....he gently reminded me that it was the end of the tape and it needed to be turned over haha!! Of course we all had those high tech Pre MP3/IPod/CD Players to play our music with a set of headphones with the fuzzy ears, my brother had one of the early Sony Walkmans and never let me even see it, I bet that's worth something these days I bought a cheap one off Ebay recently I couldn't help myself! Toys were actual toys there were a few electronic ones around such as Speak & Spell or a talking doll where you had a pull a bit of string and it only said about three words, we really actually played with physical things I had Sindy and some Barbie Dolls in fact I had so much of it I'd carry it all in one of those old large blue plastic shopping bags funny there were sold by Tesco to put into your trolley when they introduced self scanning it seems the technology died a death all those years ago but it now all the range. My brothers had Action Men and loads of model cars, we had a huge floor mat that had map on it with roads and a town that you would drive your model cars around all day on. There were Garbage Pail Kids, Care Bears, Rubix Cubes Train Sets and Scaletrix and as we were a bit more money savvy in those days you'd only get something for your birthday and Christmas not just because your parents wanted you to be quiet!

TV Back in the 80s

When we wanted to watch something on TV we only had a few channels I remember the time before Channel 5 and we had one huge Brown TV in the Lounge where you had to press the buttons on the front to change the channel, I reckon you would have needed a forklift to move the damn thing it was so huge and took up half the room. Days were filled with whatever my parents wanted to watch, there was Rainbow and Playschool when I was little, I remember watching the very first episode of Eastenders (a bad TV habit I dropped a few years ago), programmes were quite limited back then but it wasn't a huge deal because we entertained ourselves as kids, sometimes watching a Film would be a big treat and made special times like Christmas were more exciting sitting down together as a family and watching a film just released on TV that we had never seen before. We didn't mind adverts if we were watching ITV or Channel4 they didn't drag on like you get these days.

I don't remember exactly when Video Recorders came on the market but I know there were Betamax and VHS, we had VHS machine, you could record programmes off the TV and playback at your leisure and you always knew someone who was copying VHS to VHS that would sell you some films. I still used VHS tapes when my daughter was little so they were around all the time I was growing up. Buying a VHS tape was a real treat, you might have been lucky enough to have seen a film in the cinema but there was always a really big delay until they were released on Video or so it seemed. Of course for a really special treat you would go Blockbusters to rent a video but they were quite strict if you forgot your video card I guess computer systems weren't able to let you confirm any of your account details you had!

80s Fashion

Then there was the fashion in the 80s.....wow it was great and brilliant all neon neon neon and bright colours, I had one of those multi coloured white and purple shellsuits and Hi-Tec Trainers. There were punk hairstyles and coloured dyed hair and clothes that didn't match, famous stars created looks from throwing clothes together like Madonna and Boy George. Colours like pink, yellow and blue where everywhere, we had shoulder pads and polka dots, tracksuits and fitness gear, an explosion of trainers and dungarees. There are brands that have come back into fashion nowadays like Kappa and Champion, I wish to god I had kept them all to have them now! We would shop in the local high street and independent fashion shops, I lived in London and would go markets at the weekend, Wembley market was a huge favourite. We had BHS and C&A and a shop called Madhouse in the High Street at the top of the road, I don't really remember when the supermarkets starting selling clothes and the rise of the bigger fashion names back then we were quite limited to only a few shops. I have to mention Woolworths of course, we had one in our high street and I would enjoy just walking around looking at the everything they had including the glorious pick and mix!

Rumbelows.... I remember when you wanted something electrical you could shop at Currys and Comet and even Rumbelows, you always had to go out to buy something and bigger electrical items were never in stock and always had to be ordered and delivered weeks later, we really don't know how lucky we are to have the internet and the ability to order online it saves so much time and give us the freedom of choice to buy from so many different places. Of course the reason we couldn't buy online was because we didn't have the internet in our homes, no mobile phones, I got my first when I was 18 and had to ask permission to call anyone from the house phone, if you wanted to meet your friends you had to arrange it all before you went out and you couldn't check if they were on their way to see you unless you have 10p and phone box nearby. You were lucky if you had a Games Console let alone a Computer....

Gaming in the 80s, well what can I say it put gaming on the map and if it wasn't for those early days I doubt the gaming industry would be what it is today. We had a Spectrum Sinclair 48k first, I'm not even sure what a 48k would be today in terms of processing or storage even a single Word document can be bigger than that. It was bought as a shared present in the family one Christmas and I rarely got to play on it. All I remember is that we had a small black and white TV that we would connect to the computer and you'd have a cassette player connected to, for the Sinclair 128k we had later on I know there was a cassette player connected to the right hand side of the keyboard. Anyway you'd press play and then hear this whizzing buzzing noise whilst the game was loading and the TV would go all fuzzy, sometimes it would take ages and if you had a copy your mate recorded it might not load properly, talk about building your anticipation and then letting you down! The games we had included Daley Thompson, Hungry Horace and Jet Set Willy, I've seen the Spectrum emulator and its a great reminder of the games we had in the days gone by, they now download in seconds....just think what we could have done with all that time we sat staring at a screeching cassette tape player waiting for games to load. We would use the keyboard to play or a joystick if that sort of thing was sold with the Computer you had and your parents could afford one, it was quite easy....left, right, up, down and fire. Us kids would normally have one type of computer, ours was the Spectrum and I know someone on our road had the Commodore and I think there was a Binatone in someone's house, you were royalty if you were lucky enough to have more than one Computer. Handhelds were around then like the Game and Watch ones I don't remember all the different ones they made there were so many sold, we had an early Donkey Kong split screen it was orange on the casing of course I hardly got to play that either, the newer generation of Gaming Consoles like the Sega Megadrive was a big surprise to us kids that you could just put your game in and not long after be playing your game how did that happen! We also had the launch of the Nintendo Gameboy at the end of the decade which changed our gaming lives forever! Another side of gaming that you don't really see today was the Arcades, they were places you hung out with your mates for hours and hours playing Street Fighter and Pac Man, we had a shop on the high street which only had one or two I think it might have been a cafe, when you scored a high score you'd put your three initials in, arcades are mostly for the seaside holidays today full of the boring 2p push machines and fruities, as we know the game industry moved from those high street arcades to bedrooms.... So next time you complain about having to wait whilst you're downloading that highly sophisticated game with the controller I would need a degree to understand how to use think about us kids and our gaming....!

The 80s....wow what a decade

what a time, full of colour, lights and fun, I do wish I could get in a time machine and go back there and have some fun but I know we will never go back to those easy days we will keep moving forwards so instead I'll enjoy our road trips in the vans with the crackling radios....

https://www.the-hungryplaice.uk/go-back-to-the-80s-at-your-event

[abundantchewtoys]

Hiveswap: Dammek’s basement + SERPENT password entry game

Odds are pretty good that we are now in the basement of Dammek's hive, in opposition to leaving the attic of Joey's house.

I wonder if his communication device is purely speech based? It would be kind of an upgrade for her, if it's an actual smartphone, with video chat capabilities!

And yes, presumably it isn't text based, since it would mean Joey has a learning curve due to Alternia's alphabet.

We're in for her introduction to Xefros, in any case. And potentially with Dammek's lusus as well, who I presume is bonking on the door there. I wonder if Joey can sate the beast / calm it down quite quickly, due to her Junior Vet knowledge and also the pet treats?

---

Ooooooh! The start screen of the game has changed, now that we're reached Alternia! That's a pretty sweet function!

Cool, this is the art which we saw concept art for already.

Look at that city in the background, skyscrapers like Sollux' hiveblock. And don't think I didn't notice that hidden trident the lights make some of the time. ... Man, I swear, if instead of Hidden Mickeys I have to be on the lookout for Hidden Tridents...

So these can be taken as just general propaganda by )(IC, but it could also be said to be done under the influence of the current Heiress Apparent, Trizza (whose name Blaperile reminded me of just now).

This gonna be good.

---

PORTAL > GO... HOME? : Yyyyeah no, that wasn't gonna work. I guess I'm pleasantly surprised it didn't quite sting, though.

Seems like the timer above the portal gives different prompts.

FLASHLIGHT > I wonder if there are even light switches in troll hives. They're (sun)light-sensitive, we know, so maybe not? Guess it's a good thing she spared the batteries then, heheh. Heh. ...

TIMER > Yup, as I thought. Joey has eleven days and change to get home. Just watch how that timer conveniently fails to count all the way down until the most plot-critical moment. :P I wonder what'd happen though. It could be it's simply like the lotus flower, that after the count has passed, the shield goes down. But what'd happen after swapping back? Is the cherub key gonna be spit back out? Quite an irrelevant question, since I presume the portal is getting smashed, it's just a matter now of finding out where all these teens ended up, after.

ROBOT > Something... intense went down according to Joey. So it isn't just a battlebot, then? Did Trizza send these after him (and Xefros), because he's part of the Grubbles/Grubbels?

FORKLIFT > (At least it isn't a TRIDENTLIFT) So there's a giant crate in here as well, just as in the attic. Did Doc Scratch arrange for Dammek to receive it, I wonder? I wonder what his influence on the story of this game is, and if it's going to be relegated to vague references being made to the "man in the moon"?

I do like Joey called it futuristic, meaning she definitely knows something's off with her surroundings.

Hey, Blaperile just noticed there are pawprints in brown blood on the floor! ... Seems like the lusus got hurt helping to fend off the robot.

Aaaahhh, we found the giant crate in the bottom right corner. Though what was all that slime to do with the packaging? Was it packed inside a grub? ... This IS Alternia after all.

Oooh, the DIAGRAM is an inventory item, I thought it'd be something to look at like the invoice on Earth. DIAGRAM + BATTERIES > ... Yeah, she would have a hard time reading this, if it has the Alternian alphabet on it.

PET TREATS + DIAGRAM > ... Wow, Jude really went off on a spiel there. So she was fully aware of being transported through space. (She just doesn't know she's in another universe, too.) The kids on her school are mean. And she's unsure of how to be a good big sister to Jude. :(

DIAGRAM + TIMER > So... Was the timer counting down as well before the portal got activated?

HIDDEN BEAST + PET TREATS > Yep, once the lusus is out, we'll definitely need these.

DIAGRAM + CONTROL PANEL > Joey... got a "serpent" vibe from the panel? Uh, excuse me? Troll tech works on grub. So... What, is it made by cerulean blood with a snake lusus?

Okay, after checking out the RAY GUN, the only thing left is to pick up the smartphone. I assume it isn't on video mode, it would be too soon yet to reveal Xefros as an alien to Joey, probably.

Blaperile has a good point, perhaps both of them will get the chance this way to bond before realizing the other is an alien, hah!

TABLET > ...

Wow.

Okay.

So... Xefros calls Dammek "Tetrarch", is that, like, his rank in the rebellion? I don't think we're venturing off into a world where trolls DON'T have names made up of 2x6 letters. Joey was somehow able to read Alternian alphabet just fine, which might be the effect of the portal. Quite convenient, anyway.

Hah, and it seems Xefros and Dammek were so paranoid, they made up all these codes and such to anonimize themselves, and as a result Joey can just be assumed by Xefros to be him for a while longer.

Xefros activated the portal at what he thought was the request of Dammek, it'll just have to be seen what the truth of the matter is.

And I hadn't noticed yet, but Joey pointed out that the portal on this end is more "space-agey", huh, so they're not exact duplicates, or the same portal on different points of its timeline!

It seems Xefros saw an explosion in Dammek's hive, but he doesn't seem to know about the robot.

So the tablet wasn't equipped to our toolbar, and we're kind of at a loss now. I tried the help function and, oh shit, is that Doc Scratch talking back at us??? Welp, useless assist is useless.

We'll try to reload the game and actually "pick up" the tablet, maybe that'll work.

Wow, okay, that worked. Previously we had tried to use an item on the tablet and that activated the chat but didn't equip the tablet...

TABLET > ... Wow, okay, so the diagram looks familiar to Joey somehow, but she doesn't know how. And Xefros informs her the "snake machine" is the way to power the grid of the hive. But Xefros is, like, really confused and thinks he's messing up their "arrangement" of espionage and code. Poor, confused, innocent Xefros.

CONTROL PANEL > Okay, so there's some kind of password entry program starting up - FIRST OCCURENCE OF THE NEW ALPHABET! ... Yeah, so, we MIGHT have to print an index in the future.

Pfff, the "entry" is done via a SNAKE game, hahah. Old school.

Okay, so we printed out the alphabet and checked what the name is of the game. ... SERPENT, pffff, yeah, that was kind of to be expected. And so now we play the game, collect the letters. Is... is Dammek's "password" serpent as well, it is, isn't it? Okay, something else appeared to, I presume "CONFIRMED" or "ACCEPTED" or "PASSWORD". And the power went on!

The next room is unlocked... As... Is... Dammek's lusus. Wow, so majestic. I thought it was more akin to an antlered bear, but it can be ridden! Cool.

And... Yeah...

It was kind of a given. Joey freaks the flip out and absconds into what appears to be Dammek's living room or study! That's something to explore tomorrow.

[obaaewankenobi]

Anakin: Wow that’s a cool looking car

Obi-Wan: That’s a forklift

Anakin: Shut up I want it

[fedoranon]

I liked it!!! The alt history & tactics popped off, and Kaname is such a lovable, multifaceted young lady. Sousuke is... working on it, lol

I did think they needed a third slapstick comedy moment before the action kicked off (the prologue didn't count as slapstick imo), and I'm dying to know what the fuck they mean about history being wrong, but hey: I know where to find more of both of those things!

The ebook edition is available from J-Novel Club.

[bearpillowmonster]

Shadow of the Tomb Raider Review

I only every played this and Tomb Raider: Legend in the series, what brought me to this one was the E3 trailer. Do you need the other two to understand this one? No. Did I like Legend? Yes, you can drive a forklift, I mean what's not to like? I'm surprised it's not more liked to be honest.

I remember being in the theater and seeing commercials for this, showing off the dolby digital audio and then it got nominated for a game award for it, so I really tried to pay attention to it. It's kind of nifty, one of the cool things about it is that you can really immerse yourself and change the dialogue to different languages when spoken to people of different nationalities, small and I only used it a few times, but a really neat feature. In fact the whole thing immerses you inside of that culture and I can really appreciate that.

I didn't want to play the other two in this reboot trilogy because the snow environment in Rise didn't really grab me and the first one just looked dull with some cool setpieces and a pick. I still kind of stand by that but I'm glad I played this one. I mean if I understand right, each entry builds on the last, so this should be the best one, right?

Well, this one has the best outfit, it's a mix of old and new, you can unlock a bunch of other ones but I wanted to keep it as the default most of the time to be honest, I liked it that much. As for Lara's character, she's one-minded, she focuses on the treasure and journey, this is her bread and butter, she obsesses over it. This isn't necessarily a good or bad thing but they make a point of telling you just how into the game she is. One thing I did actually want to see that was in the previous game was Croft Manor. I have a thing for exploring character's houses, like Andy's House in Toy Story 2, Nate's house in Uncharted, and now Lara's house. In Legend I got that, in this one, I also got it but in a different way. You see, there's a section of the game where you play as Young Lara and do some training and some puzzles but you don't really get to properly "explore" it, oh well.

Now whenever I play another adventure game, for some reason, I compare it to this even though it's not the first to do some of the stuff. I love the platforming and figuring out where to go, with the white markers (which you can turn on and off) then getting new items to maneuver better. You can get the ability so she doesn't slip which is handy but I never got it because I never wanted it, it gave me a sense of fear and danger when I had the possibility of slipping and it pulled me in. The side quests are actually fun, it feels like you do so much and then you look back to see what you missed and you say "Wow, there is a lot of content here." The map makes that very clear. You don't even have to search for it, it's right under your nose so it doesn't feel like a chore to finish these missions, you can just dive right in. It's aged so well that I got this game the same year it came out and I'm just now making a review about it. I think about it often and I haven't even properly finished it. I got to the very end and there was a mission that I didn't want to do so I just didn't, it was a main mission and I haven't returned since but trust me, I've played enough to review it, there was just that last part was all.

How's the story if the gameplay is so good? Like I said, it's immersive with its world but the story is the standard 'end of the world' jig, nothing new. They do introduce Unuratu and her son who take a pretty big part of it, but they're both cool, she makes her son figure things out for himself in order to make him a good leader, and they make you want to help. So the characters are cool. The only glitch that I can think of is how the birds just kind of float, it's a bit odd but whatever, they're birds. Overall this game gets an 8 out of me, maybe even an 8.5, it's underrated and I say you should give it a try.

[falsebooles123]

Dairy of a Horror Buff 8.18.22

ugh so my boss was just being super fucking bigoted towards unhoused people and it was just totally not the vibe. I really don't want to talk about it but yeah this has been a stressful day. Also I am listening to one of the best hyperpop songs ever. When I Rule The World by LIZ. ugh this song makes me want to have a hot dom girlfriend slap a pink dog collar on my neck. Hello I'm a freak.

let's be honest kakegurui is for bottoms.

now that I've revealed my degeneracy lets get into it.

The Ash-Tree dir. Lawrence Gordon Clark

so to be honest I was only have paying attention to this one. Local rich boy like bruh I got this sweet missus so lets talk about expanding the family burial plot because thats a thing people were obsessed with in the olden times apparently.

essentially as hes doing this he keeps getting flashbacks to ancestor RIchboi who is condeming a woman as a vvitch. *le gasp.

usually I would love this and if I watched it again I probably will but for now i kind just know this exists and I've seen it technically so yeah.

I love that bitches be obsessed with Misha Collins, I'm Bitches.

ok so because it sounds like fun lets watch PSA's that are listed as horror on Letterboxd. a PSA isn't an official category but theres a few list we can look at. Also if your PSA isn't a glorified snuff film is it even good just saying. I watched a woman get hit by a train as a child and I have never played on the yellow line. also theres like no passenger trains in my area which is ironic given my towns history.

Electrical Substation, Stay Safe Stay Out (1989) dir. Unknown.

first I am annoyed that apparently Tumblr does have header capabilities. Second yassss child murder. this is what makes PSA's fucking terrifrying.

Forklift driver Klaus - The first day on job (2001) dir. Jörg Wagner & Stefan Prehn

How to know if your fave is Forklift certified. also this is only a minute in and I am already terrified of the stabby forks that are fork lifts.

So apparently this is a "fictional educational film" which like I definetly get it because this is full of garish Final Destination Humor but also at the same time this has some legetimetly good advice about Folklift Driving. I could honestly see a film like this that is legit but also teaching me about these things.

Robbie (1979) dir. Ronald Dunkley

wow imagine your country investing in public transportation and actually being able to use trains. #couldn'tbeme.

Ok so this film leterally starts with our tituler character Robbie. being like heys I'm a train nerd and you know whats cool are newly expanded public infrastructure. Thanks Thatcher.

ok so like I was making a joke but Margaret Thatcher was elected in 1979.

also this is a pretty standard PSA's some children are like hey lets do dumb shit and then Child Mutalation. ugh theres something so fucked up PSA's. also this one was like what if we literally just filmed a mother have to come to terms with her children becoming parapelegic. Also apparently there is three different versions of this were they hurt Robbie in three different ways.

OK ok they literally were just like see this dog and this baby. Dead if you ever cut a hole in a railray fence. God I love PSA's there so extra.

COI: Lonely Water (1973) dir. Jeff Grant

A FACELESS SPECTRE TO HARINGE YOU OF YOUR CRIMES.

JK this is a short PSA were the spooky grim reapers like hey bitch swin with a friend don't be an idiot.

Lynx-The Scavengers (1987) dir. Unknown

so this is a short Anti-Fur PSA by what I assume is by the Lynx Educational Trust for Animal Welfair. This one is lynchian and bloody. Don't wear real fur folks or at least source it ethically.

Set Yourself Free (2014) dir. Unknown

ok this has such late 2000s music video vibes and I love this. Also I wasn't fucking expecting land mines. Like who was expecting fucking land mines.

Julie Knew Her Killer (1998) dir. Unknown

so this is one of my favorite PSA's of All Time. Theres something so sinister about it. the way its phrased the horror of being in that situration. How suddenly it happens. theres a reason why we remember PSA's and this is one of them.

The Haunted Mouth (1974) dir. Unknown

OK I want to mention this was produced by colgate which I find personally hilarious.

BREAKING NEWS: THE SHADE OF PESTILENCE IS UPSETTIE SPAGHETTI THAT YOUR BAD AT FLOSSING AND HE'S BEING UNDERSTIMULATED.

I legetimetly love the concept of a ghost whos like yaaas teeth but also bestie like its not fun if you don't fight a little let me show you how to floss.

Ok folks I think that is enought PSA's for today. I may come back to this during the month. I may not we'll see.

[noro-noro-noro]

3 dreams.  1. direct to google drive 2. at the ?store with my dad & sister. we won knockoff drg figurines.  3. i remembered in highschool a bunch of my friends made a club & now, 8 years later, we could get free food at some restaurant if we could prove it. was sophomore year of highschool really 8 years ago??? did i really graduate from college 6 years ago???? what the fuck . i’m going to pass away

1. the only part of this worth noting is that due to the lighting, i really wanted to touch this person’s face right at the corner/below their eye where the eye socket is. like that hard bit of bone. top of the cheek? i wanted to touch it with my thumb. i wanted to put my hands on their face & my thumbs on either side of their eyes on that bone. i think if i did that i would have gone for the eye gouge next, so good thing i ended up never doing that. i bring this up because i keep touching this part of my face now at work.

2.  I was at the grocery store / art store with my sister and my dad? it was a bit like when people paint found footage pics of grocery stores at night - it was dark, the freezer aisles still had the lights on, but it wasn’t really dangerous. it was just dark. before this, it was more like a Lowes or a home depot or a BJs with the tall shelves, concrete floor, and fluourescence, & i was looking for something to give to my dad. 

as we were leaving, me & my sister realized we’d won some kind of giveaway. mission control himself was there next to the door sitting in a blue forklift. he gave me & my sister capsule toys. (these were also blue). my sister won a scout sitting on the vacuum from tellitubbies ? or something? that was also a pachinko board. i won a driller that looked. like the driller figurine from the board game 

He was also mounted on a blue plastic sheet & you could move his mouth like a nutcracker to make bubbles come out. I was like “wow, cool”

3. there was some kind of club or something that me and my friends were in in high school and we all made these shitty little plastic rings that had the name of the club (it was something like EPIC REVENGEANCE, or at least some part started with an R) and everything too, and we had like actually pretty decent stuff? we had a clubhouse that was an alternate universe version of my mom’s house. slightly blue tinted, like a scene from a movie where a character is walking alone through a house that’s white. it’s got the blowing curtains, the bluish light. we also had our own Wi-Fi was there that we could connect to at any time. one of my friends from that time when I no longer talked to went by like ... blood girl and in my dream I was like you know what that seems accurate to my high school friend group.

anyway there was a couple people trying to get in on that and it was a little bit uncomfortable and they wouldn't leave. I think it was some Hispanic guy? maybe the one that always was playing soccer with his friends next to our lunch table. and he just showed up at my mom’s house uninvited while we were chilling & came inside & just sat in the middle of the floor. we were like uh. hello. can you leave? whgo are you. and they just ignored us. there was a part where i think we were tryna ditch him but he kept folllowing us around in his van? there was alaso a lot of shittalking through the gc, which was green. 

then there was a restaurant in arizona that would give us free food if we could prove we were a member of this club originally, & i still had my ring! i showed up with my friend amanda & i was planning on getting a strawberry milksshake when i woke up.

[primeministerofantarctica]

Yooo guys apparently if you keep pressing the full stop you can watch a youtube video frame-by-frame so I did it with the new Ducktales intro and

(put under a read more bc it got kinda long)

Is he seriously on a segway.

I’d make a snarky remark about the New Generation-representative Rich Guy being the only one not physically running, but I trust the writers. Also African Gray Parrots are supposed to be super smart so maybe Mark Zuckerberg is going to be, like, a Smart But Physically Weak Villian. You know those types of villians who set up elaborate schemes but the hero just defeats them by punching them in the face? Yeah.

I can’t forgive the smartphone out, though. What is he doing? Livestreaming? “Hey guys watch me chase down this old guy and his family” Doesn’t he own a company? That’s got to be bad PR.

It’ll take a while to get used to Gyro’s redesign (I think once I see him voiced and animated it’ll click) but the Not-Little Helper has Scrooge’s symbol on it’s chest-area which means maybe Scrooge commissioned Gyro to build it? Oh geez.

Maybe the Not-Little Helper here is the prototype for Gizmoduck. You know in the previous series, Gyro built that giant tank robot to guard the moneybin (then it went haywire bc he programmed it Too Well) and he built the Gizmoduck suit because you needed brains to be a security guard. Maybe something happened to make Scrooge tell Gyro to make a Not-Little Helper to be the city’s hero, but then it goes haywire (and then Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera becomes Gizmoduck!)

Also (at the top left corner) JUST LOOK AT THE WAY DEWEY RUNS. BBY. All the promotional images show him as “daring” but mercy he runs like he’s terrified.

These frames were right next to each other I’m sobbing.

Oh, smear frame! Yay!

SAVE HIM

I like this plane. It’s large and bulky and friendly-looking due to the rounded edges, so it fits Launchpad perfectly.

I thought the wheels looked weird so I backtracked and oh god it’s so much worse? They’re just…inset there! It’s no wonder this guy crashes, he can’t land cause he has no functional wheels!

Webby’s really inspecting that diamond.

I can’t decide who’s reaction I like better.

Aww bby

Wow Scrooge, you sure look confident for Launchpad to be driving a boat in a storm.

Arms go fast, smear smear smear :D

Tfw you have to choose which child to save

Now there’s a solution (ALSO SCROOGE)

Aww they’re trying to reach for him :,)

Is that Donald’s houseboat?

That’s Donald’s houseboat.

It’s blurry but I’m p sure the bottom part of the plate says $100

“Did the kids just ride by on a wild predator?...Oh, Donald’s not gonna like this.”

Huey’s the first person (duck?) to notice the dragon- which I’m p sure is the same one as the promo poster for the movie. So that means this scene is probably from one of their first adventures together.

Louie just starts quietly backing away and Beakley’s absolutely ready to THROW DOWN. Meanwhile, Dewey and Scrooge remain oblivious.

Really? We’re just fading out like that? Dewey didn’t even notice the dragon!

You lost your family bc you were too busy looking for gold. Not that that’s metaphorical or anything.

Look at this

That’s indisputably a mammalian claw. But I’m also pretty sure that’s a bird beak.

I don’t know much about Egyptian mythology, but I think putting bird heads on people were a Thing?

AGAIN LOOK AT THE WAY HE RUNS. IM JUST..BB. (he runs like Donald!)

Whoever created this…this split-screen diagonal closeup with the characters jumping into the next panel just needs all the Awards.

Hey Dewey, when you’re falling onto a hard stone floor, I don’t think a headfirst cannonball is the best position.

That’s definitely a bird beak. Also didn’t only the pharoah wear that fake beard thing? Oh wait. They’re in a pyramid, of course the mummy’s a pharoah. :p

Wait is that the money bin? In the background? With a freakin’ FORKLIFT?

“You can’t get past m-”

“Huh. Guess they can.”

“No matter, I know what to do!”

SMEAR

Then do a really neat pose that will fool people into thinking I’m a Cool Person!

Gold: Hard enough to support a forklift, soft enough to dive into.

Hey, Dewey’s running style changed! I wonder what’s different…maybe going on all those adventures built up his courage?

Watch me leap out of this gold pile and three feet into the air even though that should not be possible. Who cares? I’m rich, laws don’t apply to me. And that includes the laws of physics.  

I just. Dolphin.

He didn’t even try to get his dime...Glomgold looks so offended. 

Huey and Louie look happy to see Mrs. Beakley. Dewey looks downright terrified. Which, if she can swing four adolescents around like a paper bag with one arm, yeah.

And to finish, I leave you with this beauty.

 IN CONCLUSION, I’m predicting that

Mark Zuckerberg is an Evil Genius

Scrooge commissioned Gyro to build the Not-Little Helper

The Not-Little Helper and Gizmoduck are connected somehow

Louie’s going to build up his confidence while Dewey’s going to build up his courage

Launchpad’s crashes bc he Literally Cannot land (I’m never letting that go) and

I’m about to spend a freaking ton of money on Ducktales merch.