#wtf do you mean I’m important
Text
Oh to be a peasant minding your own business only for a royal to catch sight of you and think “what a funky looking creature, I must interact” and now they simply do not leave you alone
#your highness please leave me tf alone#your highness I almost got assassinated because they thought I was important#wtf do you mean I’m important#your highness I refuse to step foot in the castle— is that a kitty#I’ll go into the castle. just once. for the kitty.#AHH THE KITTY IS THE CASLTES WIZARD?#I’ve been bamboozled! tricked! your highness I will NOT wear that#wtf am I wearing#your highness lemme go home I had soup boiling over the fire#… tell me more about these horses of yours#OMG HORSIES HI— what do you mean we’re gonna ride them#YOUR HIGHNESS I’VE NEVER RIDDEN A HORSE#SLOW TF DOWN YOUR HIGHNESS OR IMMA KILL YOU#that wasn’t so bad no we’re not doing it again#your highness stop stealing my glasses
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“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”
Claude in GW/Hopes:
Claude, literally, in Houses:
Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.
Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.
#I’m still in the middle of answering this ask I got but yeah#even Edelgard noticed Claude really loves bringing ppl together in WC#when she says ''you really value that sort of thing don't you'' after the Eagle/Lion (+Deer >.> ) battle#like if Claude's goal was to destroy Fodlan and just leave a mess of it A+++ you did an astounding show stopping brilliantly done job#if your goal was peace well you fucked that up pretty good buddy#in Hopes too like he's literally arguing with Lorenz about it while Lorenz is like ??? bruh wtf ???#literally who cares what some politicians did 300 years ago certainly not Houses Claude#in fact Claude said fuck our history sideways with a cactus let's make peace and be friends#AND he got the approval from the whole roundtable and that's all we know on the topic bc it's all we needed to know#versus in GW where it's explicitly stated that it took some doing for them to allow Claude to be king#meaning the roundtable was not up for what he was suggesting and needed to be convinced#they needed it enough that Lorenz pointed it out to everyone and from a narrative standpoint#AM Claude doesn't need to say how the meeting went and all we need to know is that it worked out#but in GW it's told to us that the meeting was very long and it took some doing for them to trust Claude's judgment#the meeting is presented in a more uncertain light with how the lords felt abt it whereas in AM#it's not told to us how things went bc it's not important. a negative aspect (i.e. the roundtable not being able to come to an agreement)#is an important thing to note and if there was any negative aspect of it in AM they would've put it in there#meaning the roundtable trusts AM Claude's judgment enough when he tells them he wants to put their two nations together again#idk how else to explain that so I hope you get what I mean lol#I just find it completely baffling that people actually say both Claudes are the same person and that he was always like how he is in Hopes#like you can like his character in Hopes and enjoy that portrayal of him but at least admit he's written differently you know?#I hate when I see people say that Claude fans didn't understand his character in Houses at all bc they don't like him in Hopes#when you have literal staunch polar opposite sentences coming out of his mouth in these two scenes#the Claude we get in AM is the same Claude - the same person at his core - as he is in VW and all the routes#Houses Claude does not blame whatever the fuck Leicester and Faerghus did 300 years ago on the people living in their present#he also doesn't blame Dimitri or anyone else presently in power for Daphnel#GW Claude there is just grasping at unimportant and insignificant straws to justify his invasion#pretty sure AM Claude would be like ''hey dimi lemme borrow failnaught back real quick'' and smack GW Claude with it#then kindly hand it back to Dimi and smile and wave
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This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.
EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.
[Unknown] »
Hey. This is Jason.
I have a favor to ask. You can say no.
« tim
uh
1. i’m aware of how favors work
2. what is it?
« tim
?
« tim
hey are you like. good
J »
Yeah fine
Sry. Rethinking this maybe
« tim
what, do you need a kidney or something?
i can’t give you a kidney.
i don’t have any organs to spare.
J »
What ?
« tim
what’s the favor?
J »
I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important
I’d ask Roy but hes in star city
or Kori but shes off world
I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight
« tim
yeah jason i get it lol
J »
So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht
« tim
what >?
J »
We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing.
« tim
are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there
J »
So I dont think I can get back t
No its on purpose
« tim
hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?
jason this storm is really bad.
it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina
J »
I dont think I can get back totown toni
Christ you type fast
Shut up for a sec. Clam down
Clam*
*Calm fuck me
Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.
Can you feed my sourdough starter
« tim
what
J »
4511 overhill apt 6D
Key under the neighbors mat. 6H
« tim
hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean
J »
Starter is on counter. in glass jar
Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending
« tim
on???
J »
On wwhen I get back?
« tim
so you do plan on coming back
J »
Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom
« tim
yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine?
J »
Did you
jst say Vader
As in Darth
« tim
???
J »
Oh my god
« tim
jason are you in peril or what.
J »
No im not in “peril” lol.
Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter
It needs to be fed
« tim
wtf is a sourdough starter
nvm i googled it
J »
Its a live bacteria colony you use to m
Oh ok
Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour
Theres a scale next to the jar
Stir until it looks like hummus
Put lid back on
The end
« tim
the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings
J »
Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule
« tim
your bread schedule
J »
Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else
« tim
im already en route.
J »
Oh
Ok
Thank you.
Wtf dont text and motorbike
« tim
how about you dont text and Sinking Boat
J »
Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash
« tim
i was stopped at a red light 😐
anwyay i’m at your place.
1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking.
2. how warm is lukewarm
J »
1. I’m the security system
« tim
just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt
J »
God youre annoying
2. ? Its lukewarm
« tim
ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :)
J »
Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in
Can you fucking
I TYPE SLOW.
« tim
ok.
[Image Attached]
he is fed
J »
Thanks man.
Sincerely.
« tim
so hows the cargo hold going
still intact i assume?
J »
Mostly ya
« tim
pardon?
J »
Slight leakage. Nothing major
« tim
oh? are you a boatologist now?
i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?
J »
Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.
Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar
Hm.
« tim
did an alarm just start going off
J »
Dont worry about it
« tim
im not.
did it though
also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase
blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one
« tim
jason?
« tim
if this is a joke it’s not funny
oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.
hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi
« tim
ugh.
*
J »
Hey
Thanks again for the
I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.
But thanks for the backup.
Lmk when youre home
Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.
Night.
« tim
home
J »
Also I just saw your messaages from
Ah. 👍
From earlier.
« tim
you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages?
J »
Those were not my exact words.
« tim
right. your exact words contained somehow even less information
J »
Shut up
I just wanted to
You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it
The only one in the family I mean
your family, I mean
The bats.
« tim
?
the only one who jokes about what
J »
Me being dead
« tim
oh.
ok. well
its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess
J »
No thats not
Tim. Shut up.
I dont mind. I like that one of you does.
Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.
One of many
If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face
the :~{ face
« tim
wow its uncanny
uh. for the record.
i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it
if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can”
J »
Yeah well
I just
Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.
Im gonna shut the fuck up I think.
Goodnight.
« tim
oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me?
and failed btw :/
J »
Tim
Not to be so unchill
But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you
« tim
…got it. sorry
J »
No. don’t apologize to me
Ever
I’m serious
« tim
like for anything?
what if i killed breadie mercury
J »
You didnt. He is thriving
« tim
he is?
wait. really?
you can tell?
J »
[Image Attached]
Hes doubled in size since you fed him.
« tim
whoa
J »
Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.
*that too
Its stupid but hes kinda my son.
« tim
wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons
J »
He is my 10 billion sons.
« tim
lolol
wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol
J »
Right
« tim
jeez
i was so worried about the water temp
google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe
J »
You used a thermometer?
« tim
your instructions were vague!
i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!
J »
Thanks Tim.
« tim
? you already said that lol
i gotta pass out btw
glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht
that would have been so cringe
night jason
J »
Night
*
J »
You up?
« tim
obviously
why
J »
Could use your eyes on something.
[Image Attached]
« tim
morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD
J »
Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl
Ok jesus christ .
30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me
Can I hire you? Jesus lol
« tim
that depends. do you pay more than batman?
J »
The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?
« tim
no.
J »
Then yes. I do pay more than batman.
« tim
how much more
J »
One coffee per codebreak?
« tim
:\
J »
Two coffees per codebreak
Two and a loaf of sourdough
« tim
sourdough from breadie mercury?
J »
Ya
« tim
done
J »
Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards
« tim
i mean i was already gonna do it for free
now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance
im on a roll. nothing but Ws
J »
Ws?
« tim
its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️
J »
I am barely 3 years older htan you.
It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.
« tim
and yet you text like an old, old man
J »
I do not
Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”
« tim
ROFLCOPTER?
oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god
that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god
J »
Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing
« tim
?
oh, is it star trek?
J »
I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose
But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings
« tim
no i have not.
J »
Hm.
« tim
what
J »
Nothing.
« tim
……….what
*
« tim
did you NARC on me
to BRUCE
about LORD OF THE RINGS?????
J »
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
« tim
WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON?
WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?
WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”?
J »
I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.
That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.
« tim
its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE
about GOBLINS
J »
I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.
« tim
if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own.
im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool
J »
What the fuck
How do you fuckig know about ?????? that????????
Not that ithahpened
What hefuckk ??
« tim
ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!
J »
Why are you?? evil??
« tim
you should have killed me when you had the chance!!
sorry.
J »
Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.
Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part
Brb
« tim
uh
« tim
ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two……..
« tim
sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia
« tim
ugh.
*
« tim
you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time
luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.
J »
Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?
« tim
oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters
J »
Hey I wrapped up the russians myself
« tim
yeah?
J »
…
Yeah….
« tim
so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god?
J »
:-|
« tim
im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker
just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.
think of all the time and energy you’d save me
J »
I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.
« tim
i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app
i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance
J »
Uh
What
« tim
how hot *red hood is. to clarify
in their opinion
the people’s opinion
J »
?
« tim
the people of gotham city
J »
The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol
« tim
wait
i cant tell if you’re being serious
J »
Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf
Why would they think hes hot
They dont think Batman is hot
« tim
o…kay…
huh.
how to… hmm
J »
Like nightwing sure
And the girls. Bc of objectification of women
« tim
oh wow
J »
Red Robin. If i had to guess
But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol
« tim
what kind of response, exactly
J »
You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot”
« tim
oh, wow.
okay. ummm
hmm. one sec.
J »
?
« tim
check your email
J »
Ok…?
J »
Oh my fucking god.
« tim
yeah
J »
Oh my god?
« tim
yeah
J »
This document is fucking 45 pages long?
« tim
its everything from the past 30 days yeah
J »
The past
Whaht the fuck
Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.
This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff.
« tim
oof are you on page 14
J »
Im on page 3???
« tim
oh my god
J »
What the fuck
Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too
Tim
« tim
its not like this for batman :)
J »
Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.
« tim
its worse :)
J »
Oh what the fuck
Oh my fucking god page 14.
You get this shit TEXTED to you?????
Ohm ygod. You read this?????
« tim
i mean
no
i glance at it
for security purposes.
i dont like, read it read it
anyway did you seriously not know? haha
J »
No??? Again its not like people tell me
« tim
yeah but
like
theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here
yknow
sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately”
« tim
sorry
that was in fact awkward!
nvm
just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not
i was mostly joking about the hacking
J (From Work) »
No you weren’t.
« tim
no i wasnt
i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser
anyway im going dark for patrol, later
*
J (From Work) »
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog
« tim
oh my god
you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right
J (From Work) »
Figured it was only fair
[Screenshot Attached]
This persons got some mad zoom lens skills
I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you
« tim
wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass
…a stellar photo of my ass. wow.
do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph
J (From Work) »
goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3
Haha
I kinda thought you and blondie broke up
back on again?
« tim
no lol we are very much just friends
she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going
anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots
its a whole genre
they’re like trading cards
J (From Work) »
Guess everyone’s got a hobby?
« tim
the only rule is no nightwing
J (From Work) »
Do I want to know why
« tim
he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots
so its too easy
you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare.
← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman
anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.
J (From Work) »
A vote between you and Steph?
You lost a 50/50 vote?
« tim
i dont wanna talk about it.
J (From Work) »
Right.
So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.
« tim
no
J (From Work) »
No?
« tim
well
J (From Work) »
Yeah?
« tim
we don’t like, save them
that would be weird
we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues
and keep an ongoing points tally
thats all
so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you
J (From Work) »
How many points is my ass worth
« tim
i hate everything about this conversation
J (From Work) »
Its 100% your own fault, answer the question
« tim
if you must know.
points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.
J (From Work) »
Uh huh. Like what
« tim
technical excellence
composition. lighting and color balance.
dynamism
J (From Work) »
Dynamism…
« tim
creativity
umm
emotional impact
and
subject matter
J (From Work) »
I see.
« tim
ok i know it sounds bad
J (From Work) »
It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears
« tim
but if you think abou
oh
okay, well, great
J (From Work) »
I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more.
Or is that cheating
« tim
its totally cheating
please do
J (From Work) »
You got it red. 👍
« tim
:)
#jaytim#can’t emphasize enough that this is a silly thing i wrote for Me and My Friends but sharing here as well lol#my writing
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Incest fics are so weird to me like what do you mean you find getting freaky and doing things with your parent/sibling hot like what ☹️ also sidenote stepcest is still incest and weird and illegal!!
Like I try to block all of these accounts and move on but there’s so many like what is appealing about writing incest please guys just write smth else you don’t gotta make them related I’m sick of it, it’s not even important to the plot 😞
Also another thing I normally see tagged in these is noncon which is just disgusting for so many reasons that I shouldn’t have to explain bc what the fuck why are romanticizing rape and SA wtf is wrong with you 😭
I see a lot of these fics are normally in like older characters tags but like I’ve seen a lot in Anakin skywalker, Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfeild tags (and in a lot of the RE character tags) which sucks bc there are guenuinely good fics in there and these weird ass fics are ruining the RE fan base reputation
Like this shouldn’t be something people have to talk abt bc I’m not the only one who’s noticed this and thinks it’s weird just stop like
On another note stay safe out there gang, I know a lot of these kinds of fics can be triggering so always check warnings, block who you need to block and take care of yourself, you are loved and cared for 🧸💗
#atsv miguel#miguel 2099#joel miller#joel miller x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#chris redfield#chris redfeild x reader#resident evil#anikin skywalker#miguel x reader#miguel o’hara fluff#avatar the last airbender#miguel spiderman#miguel spiderverse#joel miller x you#anakin skywalker x reader#steven grant x reader#leon kennedy x you#chris resident evil#carlos resident evil#carlos oliveira#carlos oliveria x reader#carlos oliveria smut#nightwing x you#nightwing x reader#nightwing#batman#batman x reader#batfam
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Dating Shuri Udaku Headcanons
Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader
Warning: Fluff, Toxic!Shuri, Angst and Smut since yall nasty asf
Summary/Request: I got so many requests for an update so here it is!
Word Count: 1k words
Author’s Note: I decided to make her mean since you hoes wanna be treated like shit or whatever. I'm getting back into my groove with this one for sure. 18+ MDNI fr or imma beat yall ass. NEED MORE SHURI GIFS WTH
Taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @theblacksuccubus @melodykisses @blackhottie25 @tonakings @coalmistyy @szalipcombo @prettyluhlaiiii @yelenabelovasgf @callmeoncette @clqrosmgc @theblacksuccubus @cherios @shuris-whore @nut4shuri @gaspyghosttt @elliesdinosauar @idkhersposts @ziayamikaelson @trinthebean @sleepingnova @yunhofingers
Credits: @anitalenia for the super cute dividers get into itttt
Fluff
Cooks breakfast for you every morning after the two of you have sweet and reckless nights together
Loves getting the two of you matching sets of grillz. Gold, silver, diamond studded. It doesn't matter
Brings you alongside her for all of her council meetings as she truly values your opinion and wants you to be involved and know your role in leading the nation with her
Has a throne for you next to hers
Trains you with the Dora because she doesn’t want what happened last time with Namor to ever repeat itself
Buys you whatever you want right off each and every runway during all the major Fashion Week shows
Always get the biggest section when y’all got out and you betta be shaking that ass cause she gon be throwing them bills babyyyy
The amount of decorated hotel rooms you get from her is ridiculoussss. She’ll decorate a whole hotel for you just because she loved seeing your smile in the morning.
Always has her hand in yours no matter what the two of you are doing. Even hold your hand while you two brush your teeth
Never breaks eye contact with you while the two of you are speaking
Has more that 100 nicknames for you
Toxic/Angsty
Purposely starts arguments with you because it turns her on to see you riled up and she can’t stop thinking about you putting her back in her place
Used a bit too much of her strength on you during training and you had to stay in the hospital for a few nights. She locked herself in her room and couldn’t even stand to look at you when you were released.
Sometimes she lacks empathy because she believes she’s gone through the worse shit. She definitely gaslights you sometimes and walks away if you complain to her about having family issues
“Wow. It’s so sad you argue with your mom everyday. Where’s mine? Oh yea right. I’m done listening”
Tries to deny that she felt anything for RiRi but will constantly talk about how beautiful she is just to get you jealous. You end up beating her ass bc wtf
One of those lesbians that doesn't like when you talk to other women bc why the fuck would you?
Will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that you aren’t more important than her work and you should just leave her alone and spend the money she gives you. She sent 2 mil to your account while you stormed out of the lab
She’ll deny you sex because she didn’t like the way you spoke to the Dora earlier that morning. You said hi
She sometimes embarrassed by the lack of strength you have. Like tighten up tf
“Can you stop touching me? Even the Dora don’t smother me this much.”
Hates when you constantly run your hands through her hair like she didn’t just get it done
Kisses her teeth when you try to shake your ass and it doesn’t move the way she want it too
“Try harder maybe? Ugh just stop actually. You look cringe doing that” LIKE WHERE'S YOUR ASS MA'AM????
Smut
Shuri likes when you eat her pussy with her panther suit on. Yes. That part is cut out
She has different grillz for eating your pussy and then ones for eating you ass— SHE A BOTTOMFEEDAAAA
Shuri loves pressing her kimoyo beads against your clit and sending intense vibrations there. Rose toy who???
She eats your pussy at night sometimes because if you look hard enough while she’s making your head spin, her inner bottom lip glows softly with her vibranium tattoo, being the only source of light in the room
LOVES WHEN YOU DRILL HER SHIT TO THE POINT THAT SHE CANT BREATHE AND TRIES TO GRASP AROUND BUT SHE CANT BC THE VIBRANIUM CUFFS TOO STRONG EVEN FOR HER SO SHE HAS TO BEG YOU TO RELEASE HER EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS YOU WON’T AHHH
Can literally eat you out for hours and against your (consented) will, she definitely does
RIDES YOU IN THE NASTIEST SLOPPIEST WAY LIKE SHE LOVES SEEING YALL CREAM MIX AND IS OBSESSED WITH HOW STICKY SHE IS AND HOW MUCH STICKIER YOU ARE UGH SHE PRESSES HER LIPS AGAINST YOUR AS IF SHE CAN GO INSIDE YOU BYEEEEEEE
SHE AINT NO FAKE GAY NO MA’AM
Wakes you up most mornings with her lips sucking and teasing your breast bc babe she can’t get enough
BOTTOM!SHURI LOVES WHEN YOU SIT ON THE THRONE AND SHE TRIES TO MAKE HERSELF CUM OVER AND OVER RIDING YOUR THIGH WHILE YOU SIT ON HER THRONE OH WOW
SHE WHINES SO MUCH AND IS NOT QUIET AT ALL. Constantly getting complaints from everyone in the palace
Likes getting her ass devoured. SORRY NOT SORRY
Kissing you alone get her wetter than river Niger omgggg (I’m African and this how we say it PLS)
Constantly talking you through EVERYTHING she does to you
“You take my fingers so well”
“Hmm, you know I love when you squeeze around me like that. Fuck, do that again.” (THE WAY SHE ROLLS HER R’S UGHHH)
“Please, I can’t take it. I-I… Fuck you feel so good. Don’t stop fucking me, put me in my place”
Never breaks eye contact with you when she’s drilling the shit out of you
LOVES WHEN YOU FUCK HER FACE WITH ALL THE STRAPS SHES MADE IN THE LAB
Literally she’ll be in the lab with her goggles on with all her tools scattered all of the table and gets wet picturing you standing over her and using her mouth like a toy OMG
Loves when you tie her up with pink and purple ribbons and stuff her mouth with your panties BYE
LIKES BEING BLINDFOLDED AND WEARING FLUFFY EARMUFFS SO YOU CAN DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING TO HER AND GIVING YOU FULL CONTROL
WHITE FLUFFY EARMUFFS WITH PINK RIBBONS AND HER CURLY HAIR SHAKING AROUND EVERY TIME SHE MOVES
#shuri is a eater#shuri is a munch#shuri is a real gay not like you fake bitches#shuri x reader#shuri smut#shuri fanfiction#shuri imagine#toxic!shuri#shuri udaku x reader#shuri x f!reader#black panther x reader#shuri x fem!reader#shuri angst#shuri fluff#toxic!shuri x reader#princess shuri smut#shuri black panther#black panther imagine#black panther smut#marvel smut#princess shuri#shuri udaku#shuri x y/n#black panther angst#mcu imagine
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴛᴄᴀ��ᴘ ᴡ/ᴍᴠ33
📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you start showing interest in sim racing. max's only option is to turn you into the best virtual-racer there ever was--well besides himself, of course.
📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: fluff. brain vomit. formatting (done on mobile💀). tiniest explicit reference. not edited.
📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words
📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: max verstappen x fem!black!reader
📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: headcanons & smau
📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: word on the streets • key glock
ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: thought about this the whole time i was working. and then some man had the exact same voice as max and i genuinely almost dissolved into thin air because i felt like max was punishing me for thinking about this on the clock :) anyways, hope u enjoy the brainrot, loves !!!
wanna be on my taglist ? send me an ask !
and yes, i did make a masterlist !
*whispers* next f1 kinktober fic this weekend
you were probably unaware that sim racing was even a thing until you started dating max
like you’ve seen the funny little twitch clips of people playing driving simulators and being absolute menaces on the road, but you never knew actual virtual racing was a thing
anyways, whether or not you consider yourself a gamer in this scenario, you’ve always been pretty down to play videogames with max.
he absolutely annihilates you in FIFA, and no matter how much he tries to help you, you’re a lost cause
in return, you embarrass him in COD; he should’ve looked at your kd-ratio before he tried to play with you
but, sim racing 🧐
i mean, like, you never even fully considered that you could sim race at all, like not for leisure at least
max takes that shit seriously, he’s a part-time f1 driver full time simracing twitch streamer 😤
you are always around watching him practice on the sim, playing the f1 games, and even tuning in for his iracing competitions
at first, whenever max would stream you would probably be doing other things with your time
your hair, cleaning, self-care, cooking, etc.
eventually, you started migrating to sitting on the couch off-camera and watching him drive irl instead of having the stream on in the background
you were originally like, “oh it’s just because i wanna drool over his massive veiny hands” 🤤
but now it’s like “oh i wonder what each button he presses with his nicely proportioned fingers on the steering wheel does?”
and slowly it transforms from “wow my boyfriend is so cool” to “wait…this sim-racing thing is kinda cool”😵💫
now imagine you being like “lol wait a minute now” and being like i'm only interested in because my boyfriend loves it 🤥
in order to disprove this theory you start to ask max questions about virtual racing
not that you wouldn’t before, but they were fairly surface level; now you’re asking him about tactics, strategies, and track conditions etc.
and max is fucking thrilled 🫨🫨🫨 !!!
he eagerly answers all your questions (maxplaning 🥱), going way more into depth than you were expecting, but what did you think was going to happen
max is always happy to ramble about any small facet of virtual racing (doesn’t matter if it’s the sim, or iracing, or f1 2023) but
it makes him really pleased that you’re showing a genuine interest in it because most people don’t
you support him in anything he wants to do wholeheartedly, and listening and answering your well thought out questions has him falling head over heels for you again
so, he thinks nothing of it other than you being the best girlfriend he’s ever had and trying to learn more about what he loves
his previous girlfriends didn’t really care to understand how important vr racing was to him
they all just saw it as him playing a “game” and him wasting time when they could’ve been on dates or smth
anyways
everything is going fine and dandier, max continues to answer all of your vr racing questions, and you continue to watch him pilot the sim
until, he catches you watching a beginner’s guide on f1 2023 and get’s so jealous 😒
bro is all like “wtf, you’re watching some lame ass unranked gamer when i’m your professional driver boyfriend who does this for a living?? hell nah if you want to start playing i’ll teach you”
you’re just like, “nahhhh….i don’t want to waste your time trying to teach me, it’s not worth it. i’m not even a good driver irl, so—“
max shuts that down expeditiously
if his girlfriend wants to start vr racing, he only has one option
make you the best virtual racer there ever was (excluding him)
you’re wide-eyed like, “i just wanna go vroom vroom in circles for fun 😭”
max deathly serious, “that was never an option”
he enlists you in his virtual-racing training camp
if you are aware of the disney rapid training montage where the mc sings one song and suddenly they’re the best fighter ever, that’s how i imagined it
mulan, for example, i’ll make a man out of you
max reveals his inner george russell, he becomes a power point king
instead of date nights being cute pottery classes—they turn into him teaching you the parts of the car, the buttons on the wheel, f1 2023 settings breakdowns, reviewing iracing competitions etc.
eventually max finally allows you to play on the sim after he thinks you’ve got the theory down pretty good
you suck at first 🤗
but then you start clocking in some hours
after work, during your “lunch break”, using the sim while max is gone and playing during all the practice and media sessions
whenever max is gone, and you have any questions or ask for feedback on how to get better, you text him all about it, of course not expecting an immediate response back
max has told you before that he likes getting out of the car after a practice session and checking his phone to see all the missed messages from you with some wishing him luck and the others asking for his thoughts on your strategies
one day, he’s going for lunch with some of the other drivers and they start to make fun of him for how he’s stuck in his phone, heart-eyes and all as he rapidly texts you
they probably think that you’re sending him cute texts or photos like that one time they caught him looking at photos of you and learned he had a locked photo album of you on his phone ☠️
max remains unbothered under their teasing thinking, “they don’t know my gf can out pace them by .200 in f1 2023”
max even personally bothers christian into getting him another sim for you
christian is so tired of you two, max won’t leave him ALONE
i think max would text his team principal screenshots of your lap times and make jokes about it
“if checo keeps dnf-ing, my gf can fill in”
christian gets you the goddamn sim 😒
y’all procrastinate on building and calibrating it, max more so because it means his chair would stop smelling like you 🥺
you get it set up, but you still play on his sim every once in a while after he told you that because you’re a simp
he goes to stream one day, planning on practicing with the redline team for an upcoming iracing event
and the man almost BREAKS HIS LEGS trying to sit down because you forgot to move the chair back after you were done using it 😭😭
in between his groan of pain he let’s it slip “ow fuck, my girlfriend forgot to move the seat back after she was done”
chat goes ducking crazy
yooo, what? ur gf sim races???
is she good???
max is like “hell fucking yeah my girlfriend is great sim racer, she could replace one of the boys at redline if she wanted too!”
(team redline sweats anxiously, mics now suspiciously silent)
max continues, “well she is not as great as me, but she’s good i guess”
stream chat “they are going to have babies that completely dominate f1” “if their babies are born in the netherlands we will be stuck in purgatory cursed with hearing the dutch anthem forever”
max continues with his practice but everyone is begging to see you play, even some of the redline guys are asking questions
they wanna know if they’re really at risk of you stealing their seat
max gives up and turns to you on the couch with a smile and says, “i will beg, schatje. do not put it past me, we all want to see you drive. some people are saying i’m lying so you have to prove them wrong🙇🏼”
you’re like “what 😅 no 😧i suck 🤭 at this 🤗” but you’re already getting up and walking over to boot up your sim
the urge to flex on people and embarrass them is something both you and max share
max opens f1 2023 and starts a party for just you two, and you both decide to do quali laps at zandovoort
you do your hot lap first, and max goes after you
max y’ know, probably thinks that he can take it relatively easier on you, there’s no reason to put 100% effort into something for fun, so he puts in 95% 😀 (competitive boy)
and you know that one nepenthez meme
that’s how this goes
max is like, already rambling to the stream “yeah that’s a comfortable p1, she still has a lot to learn before she can beat a world champ—P2??!!!! 😧😳”
you’re just in the background in your sim chair, turned facing the camera with an innocent little smirk smile on your face ☺️
you got pole by .050, and chat starts bullying max, the redline boys laughing hysterically in his headphones
max requests a rematch and promptly annihilates you :)
i like to imagine that eventually you start joining max’s stream and the two of yous start having little racing tournaments whenever you guys have the time
omg could you imagine the little championship ceremony where you put party hats on jimmy and sassy and have fake little tiny gold trophies for whoever wins 🥹
imagine one day ‼️ you actually start doing iracing events, and just working your way up to being one of the best 😌
ANYWAYS to wrap it up, best teacher max ever
virtual racing 🤝 strong relationships
twitter • today
instagram
maxverstappen1 • 32 mins ago
liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo3, and 7,324,122 ofhers
maxverstappen1 the only woman for me 🧎🏼
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yninstagram baby. baby—😭😭😭😭
➥ maxverstappen1 i love you
➥ yninstagram what the fuck has gotten into you 😳 i love you, maxy 🫶🏽
user the way ‼️ he cradles ‼️ her head 😭😭
danielricciardo3 this genuinely the sappiest thing max has ever said
➥ maxverstappen1 do not worry daniel you are the only man for me
➥ user my therapist will be hearing about this
user the fact that max personally handmade that meme 💀
user never thought i’d see the day that max uses the kneeling emoji
➥ maxverstappen1 i’m on my knees for her more often than you think
➥ user alRIGHT go ahead and clock out for me 😒
➥ redbullracingf1 do you remember the media training we had two days ago, max?
taglist: @lorarri | @saintslewis | @cherry2stems | @sweetpiccolo-blog
© httpsserene2023
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x female reader#max verstappen x black!reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen smau#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#f1 x reader#f1 x black!reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x black!reader#f1 x driver!reader#f1 scenario#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#red bull f1#max verstappen x y/n#serene's chapters.#⋆⭒˚｡⋆. series special: formula 1#♡ ༘*.ﾟ love interest: mv.
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ꨄ Enhypen headcanon - attractive things they do ꨄ
GENRE: FLUFF
WARNINGS: NONE
PAIRING: OT7!ENHA X READER (INDIVIDUAL, NOT POLY)
ꨄJUNGWONꨄ
random kisses on your neck
He'll just be walking around you and then stop and kiss your neck, making butterflies erupt violently in your stomach. He’ll also make it a point to give you a slow tiny kiss on the neck, making sure to linger on purpose just to see your cheeks heat up to that beautiful shade of red he loves so deeply. His kisses can turn into tiny sucks, which will entice you to follow him to wherever he’s off to and to continue the kisses shared between the two of you.
if you enjoyed, click the read more! <3
ꨄHEESEUNGꨄ
holding or grabbing your waist at any time
Boy, are you in for a long one. This man believes only in making you flustered, bonus points if he makes you stutter. Like, you’ll just be standing in the kitchen, texting someone back before grabbing your coffee mug and attempting to walk to the living room, but he’ll gently push your waist to be able to walk through. Bro has you all blushy and giggly. Another one is when you’re just trying to chill on the couch while watching your kdrama, and he just pulls you towards him by your waist, pulling you closer to him.
ꨄJAYꨄ
pulling you onto his lap bc he feels like it
So, he’ll just ask you to like come grab something for him while he worked, then as you handed it to him, he’d grab your hand and pull you onto his lap, literally making you collapse into his lap. You’re all like, “what’s up? I have to go workkkk.” And all the schiz and stuff, but bro will not let up. He’ll cage you in with his arms, not letting you go. “Noo baby stay with me while I work.” He’ll whine and pout, making you give in. Another time will be while you guys are at the club and he sees a guy get too close to you for comfort and he’ll pull you on his lap, kissing your neck and making sure everyone knows your his and his only.
ꨄJAKEꨄ
whispering into your ear whenever he can
When he sees you working, he’ll come over, whisper in your ear with that thick accent, and then he’ll walk away like nothing happened at all. He’ll come over while you’re talking to someone, make it seem like he’s whispering something important, and then walk away. In reality, it’s things you wouldn’t dare speak out loud that he whispered. He’ll be so cocky seeing the effect he has on you.
ꨄSUNGHOONꨄ
guides you while ice skating
He’s a combination of the last 4, he’ll guide you while skating by your hips. Grabbing them if he wants to stabilize you or tease you, then he’ll like kiss your neck randomly if you did something right, and you really at this point feel like you’ll faint from this attention. He’ll whisper into your ear how well your doing and how he feels you can improve your technique, and then while you untie your laces, he’ll pull you into his lap and untie them for you.
ꨄSUNOOꨄ
he’ll feed you and attempt to cook for you
he’ll feed you mint choco whenever you guys go for ice cream and he will feed you in public if you want him to. When I said attempt to cook, I mean half of it is edible and the other half is burnt. But honestly he looks so fuchsjeheh hawt in an apron. Apron Sunoo makes me go feral sometimes, he has no right looking that good, and neither do his arms and hands, like sir, let me breathe 😩
ꨄNIKIꨄ
He’ll reach above you to give you something
let’s be honest, he’s probably taller than most of us, and bro is only 18. When you’re reaching for a cup that he purposely put on the top shelf, he’ll come over, reach over you, grab it, give it to you, and walk away so nonchalantly?? WTF??? Sir, you’re nearing 18 and are already making so many engene faint over you. Chill. Let some of us have the ladies and men. I’m lonely, let me have a chance. Please 🙏.
if you liked this please request more! I’ve found it hard to come up with more ideas!
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#Enhypen smut#heeseung#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung enhypen#heeseung enhypen#jay#park jeongseong#park jongseong x reader#Enhypen jay#enhypen park jongseong#jake#jake sim#jale sim x reader#Jake sim enhypen#Enhypen Jake sim#sunghoon#park sunghoon#enhyoen park sunghoon#Park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x reader#jake x reader#park sunghoon Enhypen#Sunoo#kim sunoo#sunoo x reader#Kim sunoo x reader
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rumours, part two.
part one.
jude bellingham x influencer!reader.
fc: nailea devora.
_
groupchat: it girls 💕
larray:
ain’t no way you’re dating jude fucking bellingham and haven’t told us
y/n:
larry istg i’ll cut your hair in your sleep if you keep believing those DUMB rumours
oliviarodrigo:
girl
he’s hot asf why don’t you shoot your shot?
y/n:
with a footballer?
hell fucking no
these guys don’t know what being faithful to one person means
and i’ve heard plenty of shit about this jude guy
larray:
yeah me too tbh
y/n:
i’m not getting involved with him, period.
larray:
okay but what about his teammates?
y/n:
larry.
larray:
DO IT FOR ME
_
liked by judebellingham, yourbestie, larray and 789 928 others.
y/n: girls night 🥂
_
fan1: JUDE LIKED???
fan2: is she lying to us?? bc why would he like her posts now?
fan3: I JUST CHECKED AND HE’S FOLLOWING HER NOW TOO
fan4: maybe she lied to protect their privacy?? that would make sense tbh
fan5: you look so good 😍
fan6: she’s such a baddie omg, jude i get it now
fan7: didn’t know who she was before the whole jude drama but omg i love her
fan8: LEAVE JUDE ALONE YOU FREAK
fan9: petition for jude’s groupies to leave y/n alone
fan10: MOTHER
fan11: y/n please do another grwm i’m obsessed with your videos
fan12: how to be like her, she’s hot asf and has THEE jude bellingham at her feet
view all comments.
_
insta dms:
y/n:
wtf is wrong with you?
i told you to tell your fangirls to leave me alone and what are you doing? you LIKE my posts and you follow me now?
leave me alone, jude.
judebellingham:
you looked good
you always look good*
are you free, tomorrow night?
y/n:
can’t you READ?
LEAVE. ME. ALONEEEEE.
or i’m pressing charges on you hoe.
judebellingham:
so it’s a yes?
i’ll send you the tickets and my jersey, someone will come pick you up, what’s your address?
y/n:
wtf
what do you mean?
judebellingham:
we’re playing against sevilla and i want you to come
y/n:
we don’t even know each other tf??
is that how you get all those girls to get obsessed with you?
that ain’t gonna work with me, boy.
judebellingham:
hm, i like you already.
y/n:
well, i hate you.
judebellingham:
haha
turns me on, love it.
y/n:
i am BLOCKING you
_
i hate him. i fucking hate him. who does he think he is? making me come see him to his stupid game, what am i, his mother? seriously i could’ve stayed at home, binge-watching the twilight movies like i do every year. now i have to go to his fucking football game, it’s going to be so nosy, damn it. and before you ask me, YES i am getting ready and i am wearing his jersey. not because i want to, but i know that i won’t hear the end of it if i don’t do it. yeah, i’m doing it because he’s forcing me, no other reason.
like jude said, someone did pick me up to take me to the bernabeu stadium, and i can’t believe i’m doing this. the venue is full of fans wearing either their real madrid jerseys or their sevilla jerseys. i can see men, women, kids, elderly people, they’re all here to have fun and support their favourite team and i have to admit that it’s a cute sight. let’s just hope that they don’t kill each other’s at the end of the match. i’m quickly escorted to the vip section, where friends, family and important people would seat for the game.
"oh my god, is that y/n?" a voice called from behind, i closed my eyes shut, fuck, and walked faster, i should’ve wore a mask to hide my face. if anyone picture me in this stadium with that motherfucker’s jersey on, it would end my career and i’m half exaggerating.
thank god, the vip section was secluded from the other people. the game started and i had to admit that it was fun to watch when you weren’t really supporting anyone. no stress, just having fun watching men run after a ball, just like dogs. jude was actually good, i never looked him up on the internet to watch his performances, i just knew he was the internet’s favourite whore and girls were thirsting over him. he was good looking, of course, no one could deny that, but more than anything he was annoying as fuck. i surprised myself, cheering for him when he scored a goal, what was wrong with me.
real madrid was actually leading the game with two goals against one. jude’s teammate passed the ball to him and he scored his third goal of the match. okay now, why did this motherfucker just point at the crowd, more specifically towards me? people turned around to see where he was pointing at, but thankfully they couldn’t see me. my heart definitely sank when he did that though, seriously what is wrong with this guy! it was a cute gesture, yes, but we weren’t dating and i promised myself to never date an athlete, tried it once and promised to never doing it again. jude was everything i hated in a man, he was reckless, cocky, full of himself and he knew he was hot. nothing worse than a guy who knows he’s handsome.
_
"how was i?" he asked, this big smile plastered on his face, i wish i could tear it off his face. "fine, i guess." jude made a weird face and put his hands on his hips. "fine? y/n, i was more than fine and you know it, scored three goals and they were all for you." he blew me a kiss and i swore i was about to knock him out. "yeah about that, someone could’ve seen me!" i said, slapping his arm, making him laugh. "darling, that’s what i wanted." okay, the way he was looking at me may or may have not made my heart skip a beat. "jude, i’m starting to believe that the fans gaslighted you into thinking we’re already dating." he laughed, making my cheeks heat up just a bit. "i just want to give the fans what they want to see." he shrugged and put his arm around my shoulders to start walking out of the changing room. i imediatly pushed his arm away and speed walked in front of him to hide my red cheeks. of course, the bitch was laughing at me, running to catch me and poking my cheeks to mock me. "aww, you’re blushing? i thought you hated me, darling." i put my hands on my cheek. "fuck you! it’s just hot in here!" "it’s literally minus two degrees, y/n."
_
liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, oliviarodrigo and 890 918 others.
y/n: maybe football isn’t so bad 🙄
_
judebellingham: like the view? 👀
y/n: shut up.
fan1: SHE POSTED JUDE???
fan2: Y/N DID YOU LIE TO US???
y/n: WE’RE JUST FRIENDS GUYS OMG
judebellingham: for now* 🫢
y/n: jude istg…
fan3: OMGBSJSOSLSLMDMSLZ WTF
fan4: i am literally shitting bricks what the FUCK
fan5: i love the banter lmao they’re fun
fan6: i ship it tbh
fan7: y/n being a wag for 2024 omg
fan8: i love how she’s fighting it but we all know how it’s going to end
fan9: Y/N NOOOOOO NOT A FOOTBALLER
oliviarodrigo: well, well, well 👀
y/n: please not you too
larray: will you look at THAT
y/n: LARRY SHUT UP IM BEGGING
fan10: lmaoo even her friends are ratting her out
fan11: #savey/n
view all comments.
_
insta dms:
y/n:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
DID YOU REALLY DM POP BASE TO TALK ABOUT US???
judebellingham:
mmh, i don’t know what you’re talking about
y/n:
jude bellingham.
judebellingham:
okay maybe i did
BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THEY’D RAT ME OUT LIKE THAT
y/n:
FOR FUCK’S SAKE
judebellingham:
anyways it’s not a big deal tbh
are you free tonight?
y/n:
no.
judebellingham:
nice, i’ll come pick you up at 9 <3
y/n:
are you BLIND?
i said no bitch
judebellingham:
suddenly i can’t read.
_
liked by judebellingham, larray, sabrinacarpenter and 901 927 others.
y/n: get you a man who eats his spaghettis with his hands 😍
_
judebellingham: i wonder who is this gentleman 🫢
y/n: yeah i wonder too 🙄
fan1: pls not jude carrying y/n’s purse
fan2: they’re so cute stop
fan3: my favourite couple
fan4: PARENTS
fan5: lmao i bet jude is the one who begged her to be his gf
y/n: yes.
fan6: JAISOSPXLD’´S
view all comments.
#football x reader#football masterlist#football au#football#jude bellingham x oc#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham#bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#fluff
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BREAK -
[ot7 x reader]
PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗
8 participants - 8 online
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jk: guys i’m lost ☹️
jimin: like emotionally??
tae: or sexually?
jk: woah um
idk anymore
jin: probably psychologically
yoongi: what’s new?
namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen
y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.
yoongi: loser
jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao
jk: woah i am in our kitchen
how did i get here
good morning guys ^0^
jin: it’s 7pm?
y/n: he’s hungover.
jk: yeah T-T
jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday
jk: there was a lot going on :((
yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?
namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!
y/n: hoseok can’t relate.
hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓
jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing
jimin: project a vegetable
jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have
namjoon: guys
jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn
i’m so upset
also how do i take about a loan?
i want a loan
namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan
jk: ok
i’m sorry
namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now
jk: i’m not crying
y/n: he is crying
but that is not important rn.
can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?
tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this
whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k
namjoon: what is wrong with you
tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra
tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”
y/n: not funny.
namjoon: taehyung please
jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him
yoongi: i can
hobi: y/n you still mad??
jin: she’s using punctuation
she’s furious ☠️
jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼
who tf says that
jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING
jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼
tae: is she fast too lmao
y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung
tae: okay!
y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw
if any of you actually care
yoongi: don’t
hobi: i’m sorry
y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed
yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??
y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE
but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real
jin: you can hit someone for fake?
tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!
y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?
tae: you did
i’m sorry
shutting up
like rn ong 🙏🏼
🤐
jin: ?
jimin: it means on god
jin: stop talking to me
jimin: sorry just making sure you got it
slang sure has changed since 1781!!!
jin: 1781????????
jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song
hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781
jimin: are we talking about the 1975
tae: the what
hobi: aren’t they white?
tae: they????
jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????
yoongi: the real one is
jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??
tae: hamilton a they/them?
namjoon: you can’t say that
y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?
tae: why can’t i say that?
am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️
namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism
jin: i’m a feminist
tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??
jin: tf does that even mean
jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are
jin: fuck you and ur proverbs
y/n: he literally said pronouns
tae: i’m a prosexhaver
yoongi: you have stds
hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung
jk: sex haver????
jin: virgin
y/n: he makes me sick
jimin: oh i HATE him
namjoon: deep breaths
tae: ???
wtf
why did you all just turn on me like that?
guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?
everyone be honest now
y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes
tae: ok i’m sorry
never speaking again starting in like
an hour
i promise
y/n: how about now
tae: 30 mins?
y/n: kys
tae: stop flirting omg 🤭
yoongi: idiot
jk: WAIT OMG?
HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö
jin: you were literally there??
jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM
OHMYGOD
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HEHEHE
OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY
UR CRAZY
hobi: i’m not crazy
jimin: like crazy
y/n: you think it’s funny??
jk: NO
no
absolutely not wtf
????????
hoseok why would you do that?
that’s so messed up
shame on you really
shame on you
jimin: ur pathetic actually
namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous
please apologise
y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply
kiss and make up guys
you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???
no?
didn’t think so!!
wow would you look at that we are all friends again
smooth like butter 🧈 💛
dynamite 🧨
borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜
y/n: kys
jk: KISS???????????
jin: hobi was jealous?
hobi: NO?????????
yoongi: interesting
jimin: yeah that’s crazy
hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR
namjoon: you weren’t???
oh
my fault
hobi: yeah your fault
maybe ur just projecting lol
jimin: yeah calling bullshit
if you didn’t punch him out of jealously
what did you punch him for???
tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??
have he no respect?
jk: respect no he have?
tae: stop
jk: sorry
tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me
agree some more
jk: i agree some more
tae: see?
jk: see??
tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man
namjoon: look in a mirror
jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you
tae: right joon shut the hell up
jk: zip it
jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook
i was talking to hobi not you guys
jk: oh
tae: we talk for hobi
hobi: no you don’t
tae: we ARE hobi
jk: i’m not hobi
or am i?????
ohmgod am i???
yoongi: ur all so annoying
y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??
why would he be jealous?????
hobi: right!
i was drunk
jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??
hobi: ur not helping?
jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit
tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr
i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯
we would of got him so bad hobi
#dreamteam 😍
namjoon: taehyung
tae: what?
i’m just saying
y/n: say one more thing
tae: i’m sorry
sorry
SORRY 😢
jimin: so the plot thickens!!
hobi: there is not plot
there is no jealousy
jin: ok why did you punch him then
hobi: i was drunk i said that already
jin: you DIDN’T drink
guys why is he lying to us
do you not trust us???
come on step into my office hoseok
open up to daddy jin
y/n: ew???
jin: ew?
y/n: that’s what i said
jin: but in spainnnnnn
y/n: stop
jin: 🫰🏻
yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?
hobi: what
yoongi: answer the question
y/n: yoongi wtf???
namjoon: yoongi please
jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER
hobi: i’m not answering that wtf
jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways
yoongi: yeah
but i want him to say it
tae: waitttt kinky
say it hoseok 😋😋😋
namjoon: can we not rn…
jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat
tae: ummmm
it’s not stupid it’s real actually
jk: real men only!!!
tae: hobi are you a real man?
hobi: what
tae: are you real??
hobi: yeah
jk: say it
hobi: say what?
tae: i’m real
hobi: i’m real?
tae: REAL UGLY
HAHAHA
jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts
tae: got you lolz
namjoon: taehyung stop talking
tae: forgive me? 🥺
hobi tried to come for what we stand for
hobi: i literally didn’t???
it was jimin
jin: hey wait what group chat??
let me in what the hell
yoongi: no
jin: ur in the gc too??
yoongi: am i?
jk: he is
tae me joon and yoongi 💓
namjoon: can you stfu.
jin: EVEN JOON??????
let me in or ur all going to hell
y/n: yeah me too wtf??
tae: jin
between me and you
your invite may arrive soon
i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late
jin: ????
what
yeah ok nvm!
i think i’ll live not being in ur gc
and if this is about what i think it’s about
count me out
jk: aw man :/
tae: wow so many haters in this life
you’ll regret this
you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon
y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????
jk: hiiiiiii ^_^
y/n: ykw nvm idc
yoongi: you do
y/n: not
yoongi: yeah ok :3
namjoon: there is no group chat
jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂
namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT
can we move on
wtf why am i asking you guys
i’m the leader
we are moving on.
y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION
jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???
namjoon not again
jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK
y/n: i mean i was talking about gender
but this could be a race thing
is this a race thing????
jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????
i thought that was just jimin
jin: no ur right
jk: oh ok!
jimin: can you stop
i’m NOT a sexist ok
but hobi DID punch jaehyun
hobi: wtf is ur problem
jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx
hobi: there is no track
jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it
jk: train track
yoongi: lay on one?
tae: LAYOVER YES
i know that album
it’s really good
indigo flopped
namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up
tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*
yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
yoongi: not sorry
jk: it’s ok i forgive you
yoongi: shut up
jk: ok
y/n: he told me we should go on a break…
jk: i had a break on my bike once
then it broke
so i had a breakless bike
and i couldn’t brake
so to stop i would just pedal into walls
my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad
namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike
and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break
jk: ok >.<
y/n: thanks ig
namjoon: wait
??????
break
ur on break
with jaehyun?
y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher
jin: A BREAK?????????????
jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON
yoongi: is he fucking stupid???
jk: USHER???
hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun
jk: oh
hobi: jaehyun
nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.
jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF
jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
jk: LOOK
tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?
jk: LOOK
tae: looking
jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK
tae: holy shit
y/n are you ok??
jimin: THIS IS INSANE
y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break
yoongi: i’ll break his neck
jin: jungkook get ur friend
jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN
tae: woah
hobi: but are you like actually ok???
y/n: never been better
namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset
y/n: i’m not upset
jimin: wow
so like
wow
idk how to comfort people namjoon say something
namjoon: there there?
jin: chin up!!!!!
jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ
yoongi: when are we jumping him??
i can leave now
y/n: shut up
yoongi: you coming over?
y/n: no?
yoongi: boo
y/n: i’m going to hobi’s
hobi: you are??
jimin: to fight or fuck??
y/n: shut up
jin: that’s crazy
hobi broke up a happy home
hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry
i didn’t mean to
y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise
he was a acting weird for a while
wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!
tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok
y/n: i DON’T
tae: y/n
y/n: taehyung
jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it
tae: cuz this is serious
y/n: it’s not
tae: it’s ok to be upset
y/n: i know and i’m NOT
tae: y/n
y/n: i’m not upset omg????
stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy
jimin: like crazy lolz
jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it
jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE
jin: you make me want to kms
jimin: do it
jin: namjoon get him before i get violent
namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn
be serious for once
y/n: i’m fine
there is no serious issue
i’m ok
no tears
no noting
i’m fine ok? ok
tae: y/n
y/n: tae stop
ykw ur pissing me off
ur all pissing me off
y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
hobi: oh wow
jin: i didn’t even do anything fr
jimin: i blame tae
yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch
jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?
namjoon: jungkook shut up
tae do NOT message her
and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn
i think we need to have a group meeting or something
—
sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#btsxy/n#btsxyou#namjoon × reader#jin x reader#yoongi > reader#hoseok × reader#jimin x reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga reader#vx reader#hope x reader#hobix reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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demon slayer hcs: tanjiro as a boyfriend
characters: fem!reader x tanjiro
warnings: language, nsfw themes (no real smut)
AN: tanjiro is aged up!! we don’t date children in this house sry.
TANJIRO
um best bf ever
he’s an angel sent from heaven
cuddle bug fr
you are NOT getting out of bed before he’s ready
you gotta pee??
u gotta beg him to let u get up
like? uh my guy we’re finna be cuddling in a puddle if u don’t remove ur arm and let me SPRINT to the bathroom asap
mans just wants to hold you a little while longer
introduces you to inosuke and zenitsu ofc
wants you to get along with his friends SO bad
but
he knows they can be a lil overwhelming
so he will attempt
i said attempt
to make them behave themselves
they will not behave themselves
inosuke is tryna throw hands
zenitsu is alrdy asking for ur hand in marriage
and oh?
tanjiro baby is ur eye twitching?
and u got a vein popping outta ur forehead honey are u okay?
dude doesn’t get mad often
and he’s not mad at u
but zenitsu better back off rn
cause tanjiro
well he’s gonna make sure zenitsu gets it through his head that you are NOT marrying him
not violently!!
well he might stick inosuke on him
“inosuke! zenitsu said he’s stronger than you!”
que the one sided smackdown
anyways
he introduces you to nezuko wayyyyy later
she’s his baby sister who also happens to be a demon
which is pretty startling if u ask me
like “this is my baby sister nezuko!”
“she’s a demon with crazy blood fire powers! :)”
very important to him that y’all get along
which you do
cause how could u not
nezuko is the sweetest thing
god the kamado family could rot ur teeth
NICKNAMESSSSS:
there’s a million of them
my love, darling, sweetheart, honey, flower, bUNNY
ik that the bunny nickname is so over used but something abt it gets me GOINGGG
rarely calls u by ur real name unless something serious is happening
always a pet name
dude knows how to handle u and ur emotions
that sniffer he has
yeah
ur happy? sad? angry?
he smells it
personally i think that jealousy coming from u is his favorite scent
it’s got it’s own distinct smell but it’s mixed with a little bit of anger too
when he first smelled it he couldn’t figure out wtf u were feeling
but when he finally put it together
turned bright red
like “she cares about me THAT much”
“to where she gets angry?”
surprised that u get jealous over him for some reason
which is wierd asf cause if tanjiro was my bf? i’m never letting him outta my SIGHT
hands will be thrown w any bitch that tries to speak to him
anywayyyyyssss
into the NASTY DIRTY
remember he’s aged up!!
the softest service dom that has ever dommed
he’s the guy that gets pleasure from giving u pleasure
and when i mean giving u pleasure
i mean ur gonna be in tears by the end of it
it’s too much for you?
“oh honey i know you can take it”
“sweet girl you can give me one more i know you can”
one more is not one more
one more is as many as tanjiro wants.
overstimulation is the tanji’s fav
and back to that nose of his
LMFAO there is no hiding it when ur in the mood
mans can smell it from a mile away
but don’t worry he’s gonna take care of u ;)
aftercare omg
he’s so sweet
running u a BUBBLE BATH
lighting candles
massages
watch out cause those massages can get u back in the same situation that put u here in the first place
uh oh here comes the cuddle monster once again
ugh i want a tanjiro so bad
#tanjiro kamado#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#anime#tanjiro x reader#tanjiro kamado x reader#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer headcanons#kny#kny headcanons#tanjiro headcanons#tanjiro x you#nezuko#zenitsu#inosuke
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GIRLLLL OMGGGG YOUR MONEKY MAN FIC HELLO?? HELLOOOO???? so good. i just came back from watching it and wtf. now that is how u direct and that is how u make a profound film. (i’m glazing him and this film so hard but idc i just want 1 chance dev PLS JUST GIMME 1 ONE IS ALL I NEED) also r u indian? cuz when i saw the “jaan” i read it it in his voice and my knees literally almost hit the ground like i was like 😧🌚😜😍🤭🤭😋😋🤤🥰 the whole time!!! if i may, can i request another monkey man fic/drabble/whatever u wanna make it but it’s about how they met? basically like a backstory on how they met and got together. thank youuu! 🫶🏽
Blood-Stained Meetings, Nauseous Introductions
Pairing: Kid (Monkey Man) x reader
Word count: 2.6K
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of anxiety, injuries/blood, longing, reader has no physical description, a kiss, no smut. Not proof or beta read.
A/N: Hey lovely Nonnie, so glad you enjoyed the film! It's so good! Dev Patel is so talented. I hope you and everyone else reading this and in the fandom enjoys this fic! 🫶(Please do and validate me, I'm scared it's TERRIBLE and I'm not happy with this, genuinely terrified lol) Comments, reblogs etc. are always more than appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy 🥰
Gif by @junkfoodcinemas
Somewhat inspired by an old chat with the talented @mittos about how reader would probably hate seeing him fight, and tagging @lialilalo because I feel bad about ending up taking a week to get this out since your ask!
Sure, there were probably worse ways to spend a Friday night, but you also knew that there were definitely much better ways to spend a Friday night as well. But you simply weren’t the kind of person who did better things on a Friday night, that wasn’t in your DNA. Obviously. This was your brother's idea of fun after all.
It didn’t surprise you that this was how your adult brother wanted to spend the start to his weekend and drag you along, or that this was a frequent pastime of his. It didn’t mean that it horrified you any less though.
You’d sighed and dreaded this for hours, days probably, subconsciously.
Yet, you still were here. You’d changed out of your work clothes for this, you’d tried to make yourself as presentable as possible when you knew it was an effort you’d see reflected in your brother. You were dreading leaving your home and having to blend into the sea of bloodthirsty betters you were about to find yourself in.
You walk with your brother and one of his friends into the building, it’s large and crowded. Everyone is packed in like sardines as they yell about what odds they’re betting on, who’s the biggest and strongest, who’s the most nimble-footed and quickest, and who is the immediate runt of the competitors. You can already feel yourself becoming stressed, at this environment. You don’t understand the appeal of this but you understand how it can become a reality with the world that you’re all in.
The heat stings your face like a slap, as you stand there, close to your brother so you don’t get split up in this sea and he rambles in your ear about who he placed a bet on, how they usually do. All of the information that seems so important in a moment like this to everyone else. But you’ve seen enough blood, you don’t need to be fascinated by people getting bloodied up like this. It’s a privilege that you’ve been able to avoid this your whole life.
If you were seeing this at home, or if it wasn’t so packed in here tonight, you’d feel a little less self-conscious. And if you felt a little less self-conscious, you’d be chewing on your nails, all the way down to the nail bed. Until you felt the all too familiar sting of going too far. You give your hand a little shake to try and get rid of that urge, now’s not the place or time to wear your nerves on your sleeve. So instead, you try to offer up a small smile to your brother as he leads you to a spot on some benches nearby.
The bench is relatively close to the ring, but it’s good, you’re already overstimulated and trying to make it up further to higher seats isn’t an idea that agrees with you right now, and it surely promises you a quick exit if needed. You look around, the dim lighting further adds to everything, your eyes scan the faces of those in the crowd and you look out at the ring. It’s big, you think, but you’re not sure if it’s a standard size or not for this sport.
An announcer enters the ring, he looks sleazy and has a large, sly smirk pasted onto his face, one that makes you uncomfortable. You look at your brother to try and share a knowing glance but he’s focused on what’s in front of you both. You let out a quiet sigh as you tilt your head back to focus on what’s in front of you.
The announcer opens his mouth and he speaks in a South African accent, that surprises you and you can’t help but look at your brother again. He announces himself as Tiger. This night is already so random, and you have a feeling that it’s only going to get more wild.
“He’s the owner.” Your brother says as he tilts his head to whisper loudly in your ear. You can hear him over the whooping, clapping, and chants that have started. You nod as you look back at the ring, trying to pay attention to what you’re going to soon witness. Despite how overwhelming it all is.
Tiger then introduces a fighter who’s dressed to almost look like a reptile, he’s introduced as King Kobra and gets a warm, adoring welcome from the audience with thunderous applause and cheers. You don’t clap as you can’t help but look around instead, taking it all in. It’s a lot and there’s so many people here, here just for this.
Tiger then starts to introduce King Kobra’s opponent, his voice changes and it’s tinged with an antagonising disgust, he’s clearly trying to rile the audience up into booing, and not rooting for whoever it is. You can’t help but feel your curiosity grow at that. It feels childlike how it’s said, but you see the audience respond just as Tiger wishes.
The opponent is Monkey Man, he quickly comes out and makes his way into the ring. He moves quickly and he bounces on his feet for a moment as he gets further into the zone. He stands there, waiting for the noise to confirm it’s the start, the start of a fight where he can maybe get one or two punches in before he has to keel over for his pay. Pay that he’ll probably have to bargain for.
He stands in the ring and he can’t help but spend a second focusing on the face he sees in the front row. Kid is sure he hasn’t seen that face here before, it’s a pretty face, but he can’t help but notice the anxiety pooled in those eyes or your body language. He tilts his head slightly, it doesn’t seem to be the kind of anxiety some of the gamblers here have before the match, the ones who are risking it all for an expensive thrill and painful rush, to live vicariously through him and the other men adorned in animal masks and names.
Kid turns his head away from you and tries to focus back on his work. You don’t even notice that the man in the ring has been staring at you, taking you and your nerves in for a few, long but oh so short seconds.. How could you? With that mask? You can’t see his face, but you can see there’s a lanky figure standing there, hiding under the mask and donning the monkey man mantle. He’s tall and slender but you can see there’s some muscle on his arms, from what you can see of the sweat and blood-stained undershirt he wears, his chest is toned as well.
You don’t know it yet, but you can feel something realign, change in this moment. You’re just not sure what it is, or if this feeling is even real, or if it’s just another symptom of somatic anxiety. Right now, you think it’s probably just that.
After almost another minute of the crowd booing Monkey Man and chanting out for the King Kobra, the match begins. Each of the men takes a moment to size the other one up, watching the other’s moves before the first hit lands. It’s King Kobra, he strikes Monkey Man.
King Kobra goes to throw another punch, he moves quickly and he’s very agile, yet Monkey Man somehow dodges this one. His landing with the dodge isn’t perfect, but it gets him out of the way. He throws a punch to King Kobra and the crowd erupts into boos at that. It’s even more louder and clearer than before who they’re all rooting for and aren’t. The crowd’s response seems to motivate King Kobra as he quickly moves and starts to deliver blow after blow.
You barely feel the noise of the crowd’s screams of joy and cheers as this happens and King Kobra gets his footing back. Your eyes widen as you watch, you see blood starting to fall as Monkey Man loses his way in this match.
You let out a gasp as he falls to the ground. King Kobra slithers around the ring, posing and feeding off of the crowd’s response before he goes in for the kill shot. He delivers it and you feel yourself slightly jump. It’s terrifying to you, you don’t see the appeal in this, you can only start to mentally list off all of the physical trauma this causes. You sigh as you watch King Kobra be declared the winner of this match, it sounds like a recurring event, you gaze over at your brother who looks ahead with a large smile of awe, obviously happy with whatever return he’s getting on the bets he’d made beforehand
Monkey Man slowly tries to limp his way out of the ring and backstage, you look at your brother and quickly whisper that you need to check on this man. You have to, it’s basically a moral and ethical obligation. Your brother sighs and nods, you quickly move off of the bench and it doesn’t take much for you to catch up to this masked man.
“How are you feeling? I’m a nurse.” You say to him and he nods slowly, you can hear his ragged pants from under the mask, the mask is drenched in sweat along with the rest of his body.
As you slowly walk backstage with him to the locker room that’s pungent with the sweat of costumed men masquerading as animals and characters you’d find in The Ramayana. There’s blood stains visible throughout the floors and walls, and you can taste the copper of the crimson in the air, impossibly so. You don’t know how but you can. You ignore these other bodies floating in your periphery as you walk to a sink with the Monkey Man, he leads the way, naturally.
As you approach the sink together he immediately puts his hands on the edge and spits out a thick string of blood, you’re used to seeing blood but in this context, you can’t help but feel your nose screw up a little. It’s awful.
He tilts his head to look up at you, your eyes meet him and you offer him a small smile and give him your name. He looks at you, taking in the way that your lips curl up and how they do so genuinely. He gives a small nod, one you’d have missed if you’d blinked just a few seconds earlier. He just tells you that his nickname is Kid. Maybe he’s been fighting since he was very young. You don’t ask. Not yet.
You turn the faucet on at the sink, to try and wash his blood away so that you can start trying to clean the damage of tonight’s fight, off of him.
“What are you doing here?” He asks, he knows you’re not the type of person to come to these events. You’re not a regular and it’s clear from your face, you’re not a fan of these displays of violence.
“My brother. It’s his birthday this weekend.” You say quietly as you wipe the blood off. “Have you broken your nose?”
He looks up at you with a small smile, it makes sense. Your brother was probably the man beside you, he thinks. Kid can’t quite remember his face. He then shrugs at your question. His nose doesn’t feel too bad right now, but he knows he’s probably broken it at some stage.
“You’re not sure?” You ask him, he shakes his head. You immediately notice how quiet he is, but despite his silence, his eyes are so reactive and expressive that you feel like you know more than what his words could give you.
“Do you have issues breathing? It doesn’t look bad, there’s just a small scar there. They often heal pretty well on their own.” You say as if to reassure him, even though you know that it probably isn’t something that would bother him. There wouldn’t be much he could do now anyway about that. You don’t like that thought.
Kid stays there perfectly still as your stomach is now over its nausea and your hand touches his skin so gently as you try to offer him some kindness, some respect, some dignity, some simple compassion and care. His eyes soften as he realises that and looks up at you. There’s a glow from within you, even in the artificial lighting of the locker room and it’s easy for him to block out the chaos in here and focus on your gentleness.
He’s barely ever touched, except for when a blow hits in a match, it’s never this gently. He doesn’t even know how to show himself that level of care when he bandages himself up at the end of each night that he fights.
There’s not much of a conversation as you bandage him up but somehow, you don’t really notice it and it’s completely okay with you. There’s a comfort in his quietness, his stillness. It’s one he finds in you as well, perfectly requited.
You put a hand on his arm gently as you just finished putting a bandage on him. He takes your hand slowly, and he examines it. You’ve never had someone look at your hair, analysing every hair on your knuckles and by your wrist. It’s a unique way to be seen. He then takes your hand and gently turns it over, taking his time as he does.
Kid looks at your palm, at all the lines on it and his eyes follow and travel amongst every single last one. A million lifetimes. A million dreams. He runs his finger along them, just to confirm as he thinks about the roots of your skin, how they run along to the softness and travel over calluses.
“That’s your future.” He says softly as he looks at your hand, running his fingers along the lines. He then looks up at you, and his big, beautiful brown eyes meet your orbs. “It’s your past, everything.”
You’re not sure what it is that he sees. You’d like to know but you also think you’d be content living without that and just his opinion on everything else in the world. But still, you want to see with his eyes.His fingers stop running over your palm and you feel your cheeks heat up at the intensity of this, his eyes have softened and there’s something else there. Something you don’t quite know. Is it longing? You’re not sure. You feel a deep, soul-aching longing, he does as well and always has. You just haven’t arrived at the stop yet for that to be communicated with words. Now all there is just looks, longing looks from a man with the most beautiful big, brown eyes in the world. You could melt in them, swim in them, drown in them. All of the above and you’d never complain.
You don’t know who makes the first move first, it just feels natural, like gravity. Some kind of natural force that slowly pulls your lips together that you both know is right. His hand gently cups your cheek as you feel his lips. They’re slightly chapped but you don’t mind. The kiss is soft and delicate and you like it. You need it and so does he. Everything feels so natural right now. Perhaps this is something he saw in the palm of your hand. You don’t know what it is yet, but you’re certain that this mask-wearing monkey man is part of that future he just talked about.
#moneky man kid x reader#kid (monkey man)#kid monkey man x reader#monkey man fanfic#monkey man x reader#monkey man 2024#monkey man movie#monkey man fanfiction#dev patel#dev patel imagine#dev patel fanfiction#dev patel fanfic#dev patel fandom#dev patel hive rise#chaitheticsasks#chaitheticsrequest#chaithetics#dev patel characters#monkey man#dev patel and his big brown eyes#go and see monkey man if you haven't already!#kid (monkey man) x reader#kid monkey man#dev patel x reader
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Cotag actually breaks my fucking heart knowing the reality of their relationship and the fact that they could never be able to truly love each other.
1. Their workplace literally steals their mind, body, and soul so they can just become machines that don’t think of or take interest in anything else.
2. It’s the 1970s and they’re both guys; being gay wasn’t allowed anywhere back then.
[Full analysis under the cut + Spoilers]
[Keep in mind some of this is my own interpretations, but it still goes off canon)
Normal Guy literally tells Protag this when he tells him that Coworker was a great help and they got along well.
He gets frustrated by this fact and worries that Coworker is a distraction for Protag. He doesn’t want them to form a relationship of any kind because it would distract them from their work. Immediately after Normal Guy tells him that, he goes on to ask this:
Maybe I’m reaching right now because this question comes up no matter what, but for this it’s important. There’s multiple reasons and aspects as to why he asked this question, but one of them could be the fact that if Protag did feel anything around Coworker, then Normal Guy would know. It’s hard to explain, but think about a racing heart for example. People’s heart rate increases when they’ve infatuated by somebody, and when they see that person do even the tiniest things it makes them flustered. If they become nervous around that person, their breathing may become weird; which is why it brings us to this question. If Normal Guy finds an abnormality in Protag’s body that would prevent him from working, he would wanna know the reason, and if that reason is Coworker, then it pushes him to think their relationship is even more of a distraction to the both of them.
Normal Guy wants all his employees to dedicate their entire lives to the company. He doesn’t want them forming any sort of relationship that’s not entirely business related. If Protag’s heart is in something else, then that would create a multitude of problems. Not even his organs belong to him anymore, so neither of them even get the option to be together fully.
I think it’s also important to note that if you do choose the option to tell Normal Guy that Protag and Coworker did get along, this can lead you to get the bad ending where he literally erases Protag’s entire identity and makes him a different person. It’s wrong for them to be together no matter the circumstance, and their entire lives would be erased, along with their original relationship.
However, if the company did allow them to have a full on relationship, it wouldn’t have worked anyways. They’d be a gay couple in the 1970s, and homophobia was not only rampant back then but it was illegal. People would get arrested, sent to conversion therapy, or even lobotomized for being homosexual.
I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a LONG time, and this is also what pushed me to write “I wish you were born a girl” (yes hi I’m destroymeiloveyou on ao3 I’m exposing my identity for a moment here and if you don’t know wtf I’m talking about then ignore this).
They could be together in private theoretically, but with them being gay and also working at a company that doesn’t even want their employees to have a life outside of work, it’d be near impossible. Both of them would be at a constant risk of losing everything. Although, they already have given up so much for their work, would it even be worth it?
Coworker is already a closeted person with his feelings and such. He puts up a narcissistic front because of how insecure he is. His title means everything to him because he doesn’t have much else. It gives him a sense of security, and he wants somebody else to recognize that because he wants to feel loved. That’s a whole other analysis for later, but taking this into account with everything else, would he be willing to give up the little that he has to give him security for a relationship that was doomed from the beginning?
With how desperate he tries to impress others (especially Protag), and how attached he is to his title as well as his nepotism, his life being turned upside down just like that would be a nightmare. Everybody would turn against him, and no longer would he be the star employee at the company. In reality, he would be just as in denial about his feelings as Protag would be.
Also. ALSO!!! Speaking of Protag, it is heavily implied and agreed upon that Protag has religious trauma because of floor 4. If he did grow up in a strict, christian household, he would definitely have internalized homophobia.
The sight of a cross makes him nervous, meaning he’s probably no longer christian, but it has left a longterm effect on him.
This means that despite how he left his christian past behind, the things he was taught as a kid has never left him.
If his parents wanted him to be a “good kid” and follow God, I think they would’ve taught him that homosexuality is a sin. That’s one of the lessons that have also never left him, and he still stands by it even if hiding his identity makes him miserable.
Although, no matter how hard he tries, it’ll be obvious his heart will never be in the company or christian values. He’s gonna end up hurt and hurting whether he hides his feelings or not, which is just as tragic. He’d feel terrible once he recognizes how he feels about Coworker and I don’t think he’d ever confess. Protag would just suppress his feelings and they would both suffer silently.
If either of them did end up confessing, they still wouldn’t ever be able to truly get together anyways.
So, cotag could be in love, but they would never actually be able to be romantically together or express their feelings at all. They can do the littlest acts, like spending time with each other on breaks, but it’ll never be enough.
It’s not even right person, wrong time; it’s wrong person, wrong time.
I would write WAY more and I’ll probably yap about this later too because I’ve been keeping this to myself for so long, but I have to cut this short for now.
I probably sound like matpat right now with how im reaching with some of this stuff but I don’t care I need everybody to suffer along with me LMFAOO
I would add a funny image here but I’ve reached the limit. Anyways if you have any questions PLEASE let me know I love yapping about my cotag interpretations and theories
#cotag#coworker elevator hitch#protag elevator hitch#elevator hitch#neptune yaps#people reading this being like did we play the same hour long game where two dudes are trapped in an elevator#yes. i’m just insane#i love tragic doomed elevator yaoi
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TW: PICTURE OF AEMOND TARGARYEN’S BIGGEST CHILDHOOD BULLY:
Yeah, I’m tired of the “Jace and Luke are bullies” narrative.
Both Alicent and Viserys are quick to clock that Aegon is the ringleader, not Luke and Jace. Alicent literally asks Aegon “do you think they’ll be your playthings forever” in reference to Rhaenyra’s sons, meaning Aegon is the one who is actively putting them up to this stuff. Oh, and don’t forget that she gives him a free pass to keep on bullying Aemond in private, as long as it doesn’t interfere with that sweet sweet public image!
And let’s not forget that because the lines of communication between Rhaenyra and Alicent are closed, Aegon is the only one who we can 100% say knows that his actions are seriously hurting Aemond. I’m going to say something as someone who grew up in a big family with cousins- sometimes little kids lack the social awareness to understand that what they’re doing is actually hurting feelings.
What would happen in a normal family (or at least mine) is that after Aemond goes to Alicent crying, Alicent then goes to Rhaenyra, explains the situation, and then Rhaenyra would then go to *her* kids and be like “hey, dragons are a sensitive topic for aemond, stop teasing him about it.”
and here’s the scene, cranked up in brightness so i can see wtf is going on because i’m blind.
notes:
when aegon says “we felt badly about it” he nudges jace, prompting him
throughout the scene, jace is looking to aegon for approval
Even when they say “The Pink Dread!” Jace looks to Aegon and not Aemond
Jace does not oink until Aegon does
Luke is…five years old. He’s doing the grunt work of running and getting the pig, which not the behavior of the mastermind behind everything, but of the youngest child who was told they had a very important job ™️ and doesn’t know any better
In my professional opinion (my “professional” qualifications being growing up in a big family and working with kids as an adult) these are not the calculated actions of two masterminds looking to strike at Aemond’s biggest insecurity, but two younger kids wanting to impress an older kid and then being roped into something they didn’t fully understand the implications of.
#anti team green#anti aegon ii targaryen#anti aemond targaryen#anti aemond stans#pro lucerys velaryon#lucerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#team black#dance of the dragons#asoiaf#house of the dragon
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I’m just gonna come out and say it. I hate the channel chasers ending for FOP.
LISTEN. I understand that execution wise, yes channel chasers would’ve been the best ending point for FOP as a show. However. ITS SO FUCKING BORING AS AN ENDING.
Like come fucking on, do you expect me to believe Timmy “I’m going to find every loophole imaginable in Da Rules” Turner is going to. Settle down and let his godparents go????? Like yeah okay moving on and letting things go is important but also. It’s Timmy Turner we’re talking about wtf do u mean.
I earnestly think that the best ending IN CONCEPT for FOP is the live action movies. And yes I hate these movies as much as the next ending but holy shit does the ending make sense. Like yeah!!! I can see Timothy Tiberius Turner becoming a whole fairy godparent just so he can stay w Cosmo and Wanda.
It’s fairly odd parents for fucks sake. There needs to be some joy and whimsy and mindless fun. Yes I suppose a narrative about letting go and moving on from things is cool and all but I’m SO tired of people acting like that’s what fairly odd parents would be.
And even on a deeper level I’m sick of people acting like children letting go of the things that make their lives bearable is a good fucking thing. Like no I DONT want this ten year old to just go back to living with his horribly neglectful parents and just tough it out till he can ???? Get married??????
Sure, Timmy is supposedly an average kid, of course he’d live a normal life but also we know what irony is people. Timmy is not an average fucking child.
TLDR; I don’t like channel chasers as an ending because it’s BORING and just not what i personally think fairly odd parents should end off on
#to be clear#this is only my opinion#you can like channel chasers idc#but I don’t#the fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents#FOP#fop anw#fairly oddparents a new wish#Timmy Turner#cosmo cosma#wanda cosma#wanda fairywinkle#cosmo and wanda#I did not care for the godfather /ref
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Mental diets
What is a mental diet and how do you do it?
- Mental diets are when you don't entertain any opposing thoughts relating to your desire. Whenever you get them, you immediately dismiss them and fill that thought in with another that confirms you have ur desire. This way of thinking eventually makes you have no doubts bc u just dismiss them and solidify your desire in your mind as yours, which leaves no room for doubt.
However, an important thing to note is to not become passive with this constant back and forth. When you get and doubt and dismiss it and then remind yourself you have ur desire again, don't just do it passively (just saying u have ur desire bc u had a doubt, not really feeling it real, just doing it on autopilot) when u reaffirm you have ur desire, do it with meaning and passion. Really feel the truth of ur thoughts/ affirmations. You actually have ur desire, it’s not just some words you’re saying bc u feel the need to.
Example in case ur confused:
Let's say ur manifesting clear skin
You get a doubt that tells you that you don't have clear skin
Instead of spiralling and letting the 3d win, youd just say, "wtf are u talking abt? My skin is flawless and so clear it rivals plastic containers."
So u defeated the doubts, reaffirmed you have ur desire, felt fulfilment and moved on (continuing in the knowing that it’s already urs and just chilling, not obsessing over it).
You have now done a mental diet successfully! Congrats.
I like to think of it as a combat emoji and how I’m fighting the enemy (doubts) within my imagination and I just end up winning bc I’m too good🤺⚔️
#law of assumption#manifesting#edward art#loa#neville goddard#loa tumblr#loassumption#manifest#void state#mental diets#mental diet#imagination#4d#3d#heavenangelly
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“I’m sorry all the same”
Astarion x Reader
Words: 2600
Google Docs Pages: 4
Warnings: Haarlep’s deal’s effects, yk how it goes so I won’t have to tag it all :”D Some spoilers from act 3, such as quotes and a tiny bit of lore. Guilt, emotional hurt/comfort, after graveyard scene Astarion
Opening: Haarlep held onto his promise. Using your body, your form, to do as he pleased. And you were foolish enough to believe that you could ignore it. But perhaps you should have considered that at the very least someone would notice a change in your behaviour.
AN// So wtf I write for bg3 now? I guess so :”D Mainly interested in writing for Astarion, Jaheira and Zevlor. But we’ll see how I’ll manage c: OH, GN reader. Yall also I’ll open requests again once I finish the last Legolas one I have :3
“I’m sorry all the same”
After the battle with Raphiel, everyone had been so worn out and in need of a breather that you hadn’t even had the time to truly consider what you’d lost. Or even truly notice the price of what had been lost in exchange for information. Or what that could possibly mean for the future or the people around you. And if any of those thoughts had had the chance to cross your mind, it would have only been the latter. What would the others think? How would it affect them? How would the exchange you’d had with Haarlep affect the people closest to you?
And it usually came to the same conclusion. Even if the bother from it would be minor, you’d chosen to try and avert the others from paying their mind to it. To let the incubus do as he pleased, as long as you could lead the party onward without slowing it down. But even the strongest of leaders had to fall in due time, that was fate set for those who chose what you had. Which in this case referred to the facade you’d built, shattering, cracking at the seams at times. And no amount of laughing it off could shake away certain people when they at last noticed what was wrong.
And so had fate decided once more. The feelings of phantom touches trailed here and there. And as he had promised, you knew exactly what was being done and when. And there was no way of stopping it. Only the thought of this being what you chose lingered in your mind as the touches travelled that evening. Making you shut down of the usual glow you held when talking to others, hope of no one noticing your state still somewhere at the back of your mind.
And it did work, for most of that evening. Fluently talking to the town’s folk and the people by your side. At times the feelings even faded, disappeared into thin air. Giving you hope that the incubus had stopped for the day, freeing you from the locked state as it felt. But what use was it, if even within those free moments it spiralled at the back of your mind. Reminding you of its existence and the chance of it all returning. On the edge of hoping that it would come back, so you wouldn’t have to suffer so with the thoughts. Because at times, it felt like those empty moments were the ones most pained.
You tried to soothe the feeling of a never ending hell by telling yourself that this was momentary. The form was new and the creature knew exactly what it was doing. But as time passed, he’d surely get tired of the repeating game and move on to something else. And even if this truly was an infinite infernal road, you had chosen to walk it for a reason. You’d avoided a battle and gotten important information out of the man, which in truth cost a great deal. But if it meant that no one got physically hurt, it did seem like the right thing in the end.
Inevitably, the time passed as it always had. The sun set, which led you along with the rest back to Elfsong. And for once, there was time in the late evening to sit around and talk. There was nowhere to go, no tasks to run and nothing so important that it couldn’t be left to be dealt by tomorrow. The morning was always smarter than the night, anyway.
But there was something that wouldn’t allow itself to be left alone, to linger until the sun rose once more. The now more intense phantom touches, the caresses that haunted you. Had ruined most of the day and seemed to plan on continuing to do so.
As it made itself more known, demanding your every bit of attention, it slowly reached your limit. The top of which when it hit, would at last shatter that rather fragile facade. The facade that at times felt like it was being held together by whatever cheap adhesive children held the glitter on the cards they brought to their parents. Weak.
The fireplace flickered calmly as the few people in the middle of the room sat on the couches and chatted. You tried your best to throw in a few comments but from your perspective they all sounded the same, forced. It was no use, after being driven to a corner as you’d been. So in order to save face, you stood up and informed the others that you’d be heading to bed to catch up on those countless hours of disregarded sleep. And most seemed to have believed that, wishing you a good night as you slowly walked to the comfort of your bed.
Though, there was one who’d joined in on the others, wishing you a good night. But they didn’t hesitate to stand up and follow along after you’d left. And they didn’t exactly make the noise of their steps unknown either. Never sneaking up on you, especially at moments such as these. Which was a hint enough to make the conclusion that he knew what was going on. You’d feared for that earlier. Earlier when a pair of eyes had followed your movements and interactions with the others.
So of course you knew who it was, who it always was. It gave you enough peace of mind to sit down calmly before turning around to face him, attempting to keep up the nonchalant facade of an expression. He stared down at you, the expression on his face awaiting. Like he expected you to tell him something. Making it almost feel as if this was frequent enough to make you expect him and tell him you knew why he was there. And that sadly was the truth. How awful that he’d started to care now that you’d gotten yourself into a mess. But there was a way to dodge this bullet. “You can feed on me tonight if you’d like?” And all you could do was watch his expression fall for a moment, taken aback by the response to his knowing look. But the fun of that didn’t last for very long, he was serious. “Darling, no. This isn’t the time, and you know that yourself.” He answered. Boring, you thought. But regretted the rebellion in your mind straight after. “Well in that case, I’ll get some rest,” you informed him before tucking yourself under the familiar blanket. You knew the vampire couldn’t say much else, nor do anything. He didn’t wish to start any commotion. So the only option left was to drop the topic, there was no use in trying to force anything out of you. And he knew that, respected the choice and left for his own bed.
But the sleep you’d told yourself would eventually come, never did. The touches never relented, at times becoming more faint but at that point it meant nothing. The sound of the others slowly drifting to their beds and the chatter quieting down got your attention for a moment. But after that it all fell back into the same old silence, in which the condition you were in felt the worst. Because breaking the silence at times like these with any of the sounds you’d held back would have shattered whatever crumbs of self respect you were holding on to.
Saying that hours had passed since the others had fallen asleep sounded like an overestimate, but then again it wouldn’t have been a surprise. This wasn’t the first time the incubus had done this, you wouldn’t have been oh so familiar with all of this if it had been so. And just like any other time, you laid awake. And to truly follow the usual protocol, the decision to leave and get a breather was the next obvious choice.
With careful steps, which through thorough practise had learned which plank didn’t squeak, you escaped the pestering silence. Then again, this time of night it seemed just as quiet anywhere you went. A lucky catch if you heard commotion somewhere nearby when entering the terrace outside. Which is where you’d headed, sat down on one of the chairs that sat lonely in a corner.
It wasn’t necessarily the fresh air that helped, the night air was always so cold anyway. But it was the feeling of not being a bother, not letting absolutely everyone around you have to listen and worry. Worst of all, feel bad.
A shaky sigh mixed with something like a whine escaped as you leaned back against the wall behind the chair. Eyes closed, there was finally a moment of something that resembled peace. Peace, if you fully excluded the plaguing touches and caresses. A sound dangerously close by got your attention though, getting your eyes to snap open. Nothing but the endless hell with the incubus seemed to last that night.
In the faint light of the terrace it took you an embarrassing amount of time to even make out a shape. Nevertheless, figure out who it was. But maybe you could blame it on the feelings you were experiencing, later on. Just to save face.
The figure, now determined to be who you should have expected. Astarion, made his way over. He sat down rather calmly and stayed quiet before drawing in a breath and talking. “Assuming you won’t tell me otherwise, I hope there's nothing troubling you my dear?” You always hoped that his arrival would have been more of a fifty fifty in the usual protocol, but it never was. Neither were the things he said, or how he treated you when it came to this. “Perfectly fine.” You glanced at him, another hitched sigh making its escape, tired of being held back. “That’d be funnier if it was anyone but you,” he said while shifting his chair a little closer. The silence he gave you after was plaguing enough in the cold of the night that it forced you to say something. “It’s all the same, no matter what I do. If only I’d be strong enough to completely ignore it.” You shook your head before turning to look at him, expecting a certain answer from him. Knowing he wasn’t very happy per say about your recent approach to this. Yet, never angry. He took a fast breath but the words he’d prepared never came out. Hoping that the pleading look you’d given him had softened some of the words he’d originally thought of. “I know what it’s like, to lose control of what you have. But you of all people shouldn’t have to.” The rest of the words he’d held back escaped with an exhale at the end, left unspoken. But in truth, you wouldn’t have heard them anyway. The other questions so often filling your mind had appeared back the second he’d come after you. And as per usual, there was no holding them back as they escaped your lips. “Were you ever angry with me for the choice I made?” The exchange of yourself for a piece of information. And as often as you found yourself rewording these same questions, he took the time to answer them. Each time so swiftly that you had to believe he was telling you the truth, “Of course not, dear. More so at the creature itself.” But he couldn’t possibly leave it there. “The control you had was not complete. You don’t have to blame yourself.”
Awful how he cared, making it harder to keep yourself together. “I’m not sure if I blame myself exactly. I’m not sure if it was worth it. I wonder if it ever made anyone, you, angry.” A shudder ran along your spine, shaking your head slightly to get rid of it before continuing. Not daring to look at the man next to you for longer. “But maybe he’ll get tired of the form eventually. In due time, I’d be mostly free. It’s just…he’s been..active today.” You rambled, eyes resting on the comfort of your lap. But even then, you could almost feel the pair of red eyes piercing through you in the dark. Filled with an emotion you didn’t dare to name, not to even look in fear that it would confirm the care for you he’d formed.
He stayed quiet, the sound of his and your breathing keeping the silence at bay. Even the breath he drew sounded loud, but his words never seemed to be. As per protocol. “Come inside. I’ll be with you, however you want for me to,” he offered so kindly it almost caused you to cringe. Maybe there was still some getting used to you had to do before this would become more comfortable. But you knew he was trying to fix something within himself as well by doing this. He was trying to offer you something he was never given. So maybe taking a hold of his hand and accepting the offer wasn’t for your sake, but for his.
His steps were as careful as yours has been, as he led the both of you to his bed. You sat down first, flush against the headboard, wishing it would have provided some sort of comfort from the touches. Astarion stood beside the bed for a moment, holding back on a question before it slipped from him, “what would you like to do, darling?” He asked, making you wonder what it was you wanted. To have the peace of mind you had before. Well, what had been left of it after the tadpole had nestled itself somewhere back there. The shiver that ran along your spine interrupted that train of thought. The only thing you could still achieve and wished to have was rest. “To sleep,” you answered while observing the man sit down and lean against the headboard. He’d left space for you to come over if you so pleased, a silent invitation.
You knew he probably wasn’t the most ideal person to comfort someone, but also could see that he felt a form of compassion when it came to this. And knowing that he saw a fragment of himself within you hurt deeper than any deal with an incubus ever could.
You climbed up to him, leaning your back against his chest before kicking the blanket to a comfortable position. The space was so silent, but hearing Astarion breathe removed any thoughts of that. Keeping your attention on how his chest rose and fell in a familiar rhythm.
His arms snaked their way carefully around your waist, careful as if there was a chance you’d tell him to back off. But you would never, not when he’d finally allowed someone to care for him and come close. He leaned forward just enough to be able to talk quietly. “It won’t last forever. But I’m sorry all the same.” He said, leaning his head back to rest. And there was an ounce of truth in his words, even if he had meant that this time wasn’t going to last forever. Most likely not even until the next morning. But that the deal wouldn’t last forever either. Astarion himself had assumed the same of his fate, but had gotten the chance to change that path in the end. And the thought of that gave you some form of peace of mind, at last.
And at last the rest you’d been craving for came, slowly and late. But it didn’t matter anymore. The knowledge of not having to be alone and having someone to care for you was hard to accept but maybe you’d get used to it someday.
#astarion#astarion x reader#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 x reader#bg3 x reader#bg3 astarion#baldur's gate astarion
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