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dwtsfun · 2 years

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Dancing with the Stars Season 31 Week 7: *cracks knuckles* Let's Get Started

So before I say anything, I'm gonna get into the viewers (cuz I saw some bs on twitter all last night), the judges (all four of them are gonna get it) and the show itself (some of the music decisions were incredibly silly and felt like sabotage and the team dance...oh the team dance). Tyra and Alfonso were cool for me. I'm still trying to figure out how Tyra found time to make an outfit change with no commercial break. Where did she go??? How did she do it so fast? I need to know her secrets.

Jordin and Brandon- Tango (Score=36)- So since we're starting out with Jordin, let's go. Let's get into the problems. This dance was good. Jordin's technique was the best I've seen from her. Her feet and legs especially stood out. Brandon's choreo was actually quite good and I loved the skeleton quirks that were thrown in there. It really made for a super fun dance and a great way to start the night. Now, the music problem was clearly an issue here. Of every Halloween-esque song in the world that could've been given to these two for this dance, why give them a song that was THAT far from a tango song? If it had been used for a foxtrot or a jazz, it would've made so much sense and made for a much better routine. But here we are. A song that was actually detrimental to the quality of the dance. Jordin almost looked lost trying to get the right tango feel to this song because it was way too smooth. It's silly that they were given this song to dance to. And it honestly felt like sabotage. I also wanna get into the discourse calling Brandon's status as a pro into question. It's anti-black racism. Full stop. It's a variation of what we saw Keo deal with when he was on. But this is a little different. Women of color, specifically Black women, have it way more difficult on this show. Black pros have had a very difficult time on this show. We all seem to understand this. But for some reason, the fandom doesn't seem to be able to connect that a Black pro being paired with WOC (four of them being Black women), means that they are going to have an extremely hard time getting the general audience to vote for them in droves. That should stop anyone from using his placements as a way to discredit his work as a pro. But, let's say you still want to make that argument, cuz you're bored and you wanna be an agent of white supremacy. Okay, then why are you not using the same logic for Artem? Or Pasha? Or Gleb (some have used it for him)? And don't get me started on how many times Val and his partner would've been eliminated early, had production not stepped in to him them out. The first three have had worse records than Brandon and all of them have had worse output than Brandon (Val has only had moments of greatness, contrary to popular belief. Most of his work has been pretty ho hum). Brandon is doing a great job. Placement is not the end all be all. Using that as the reason to say Brandon needs to lose his job is racist and ridiculous. Moving on.

Charli and Mark- Argentine Tango (Score=39)- So y'all may hate what I'm about to say, but I actually agreed with CAI about Charli. What I think CAI was saying is that Charli needs to really throw caution to the wind and just go for these dances. I felt like she did that for her foxtrot and contemporary. But other than those two, it feels like she is slightly holding back for fear of messing up. And to me, it hinders her performances in a way. Of course she still hits everything perfectly and it always looks great. But her dancing is missing that extra "oomph". It's kinda safe at the moment. I think that's what CAI was getting at and she's said it before. Idk why it was so hard for her to spit it out last night. It's also similar to the critique she's given Heidi. That doesn't mean that Charli isn't working hard. She is. You can tell. But I need Mark to push her to breakthrough that, whatever it is. SN: I love when traditional tango music is used on this show.

Daniel and Britt- Paso Doble (Score=34)- Here is another case of the music working against the couple. I think the song was too quiet and one note for a full on paso doble. Britt did the best that she could with it and it was a nice dance. Daniel stayed on time (mostly). But it just lacked some of the attack and character that it needed to really sell the dance. Besides that, Daniel still needs to work on his shaping. This dance showed that he still has issues getting his arms and his hands right.

Shangela and Gleb- Jazz (Score=40)- I cannot believe I'm saying this, but this might be my favorite dance of the season. And I'm saying that because it came from Gleb. I cannot believe how well he has been doing this season. I mean it took years. So it was long overdue for him to give us a dance like this. But he has been Shangela dances worth a damn week after week and I am so happy that he isn't letting her down for once. And Shangela killed it. There were no mistakes and she got that character down so well, I was a little rattled myself.

Vinny and Koko- Paso Doble (Score=30)- Vinny improves a lot from week to week. He is still the weakest dancer left and he will always be the weakest dancer left. But I don't care about that. He is listening to the actual critiques that he gets (though you can tell the nasty comments from Len are starting to really tear him up) and he makes improvements based on that. His feet were much improved. The section that Derek was talking about was the best dancing I've seen from Vinny all season and was actually quite shocking coming from him. It takes a lot of artistry to be able to give that section so much life. It was so simple, but so impactful. And that's what I was getting from CAI's critique. I do think it was communicated to Koko clumsily. Koko should include more of that in Vinny's dances. He's getting the steps down. Now it's time to build on that and go to the next level. It doesn't have to be the whole dance, as I'm not sure Vinny can handle it. But pieces here and there would show so much more depth to his dancing. I hope she doesn't take offense to it because she is doing a great job with a partner that is super unnaturally gifted. And I think the majority of us see it. Also, some of you all still don't understand how this show works after all of these years and it is ANNOYING at this point. This has never been just a dance contest. It has been a popularity contest with dance elements added. It always has been. It always will be. Vinny is popular with the general audience and it makes sense for him to be. He's nice. He's fun. He's having a good time. He's improving week to week. And he's relatable for a lot of people. Vinny still being here makes more sense than anything else this season tbh. So please chill out on him. This isn't Skeleton or the countless other white men who can't dance and have been sucky people that we're talking about.

Heidi and Artem- Tango (Score=37)- Wtf Derek. How was this a 10 in any sense? What is wrong with him? Derek has been on one all season and been super dumb and I just can't deal with it. If he keeps this up, I'm gonna start a petition to bring Julianne back as his replacement. I'm over these childish games. That tango was extremely weak up until the last 5 seconds. She dances with no impact, no attack, no passion, no nothing. This isn't something that is unique to Heidi though. This has been a problem with every single one of Artem's partners except for Miss Patti. I do not understand why he cannot get them to fully attack the dance. They just lightly tap it and it is the most frustrating thing to have to see it season after season after season. CAI and Len seemed to be very frustrated with it. And let's just bring up Len saying that Heidi had plateaued. I hope you all remember that. Because in all of the discussion about Jordin being eliminated, I think that is being lost. And that is the most important part that makes that elimination that much more frustrating. They should be lucky that CAI and Len didn't give them an 8. Tbh, that's all it really deserved.

Gabby and Alan- Argentine Tango (Score=38)- That was my favorite dance from Gabby by far. I didn't see any of the issues that I usually have with her dancing. Unfortunately, she did have a mistake right in the middle where her legs got tied up. But otherwise, it was great.

Wayne and Witney- Contemporary (Score=37)- I loved this dance. I thought it was fantastic. Now, was it a contemporary? No. But that's not their fault. WTF was the show doing when they gave them a dubstep remix of the Halloween theme for a damn contemporary routine? Just give them hip-hop and call it a day. Why sabotage them like that? STUPID! I mean what else were they supposed to do for this dance? Seriously. Witney created an amazing dance, but it's not getting the appreciation it deserves because it was labeled as a contemporary. I hope she submits that piece to the Emmys next year and they nominate her for it.

Trevor and Emma- Contemporary (Score=39)- Now why did they get an acoustic song for their dance? You see that. I see through your bs, Conrad. You ain't slick. I see what you're doing. You can absolutely give the couples the right music for the dance they're assigned. He just is playing around. Now for this dance, it was good. It was Trevor's best dance. But it was not 10 worthy. Derek, Bruno and CAI were big tripping with the scores and the over the top comments. I'm so frustrated by them. Ugh. Give it 9s. That would be perfect.

Thoughts on the Team Dances

They both sucked. I don't know why they didn't give the couples a costume change so that they would be a cohesive unit. That was mistake number 1. It was a grave one at that. The second mistake. Why did the couples stay on the floor for the whole routine? Both teams' idle couples weren't doing anything for at least part of the time. Third, these seemed like an afterthought. And while they've never had more than two practices, it was very obvious that the team dance is not valued anymore. So here is where I sit. If this is how these dances are gonna be conducted from now on, then we don't need to have them ever again. Just replace it with the relay and be done with it. It was a waste of the viewers' and the couples' times. Also, I am not understanding how they gave Team Scream 10s. It was better than Team Wicked, but not a 10 team dance at all. It should've been 8s for the first and 9s for the second.

Now the elimination. I already expressed some of my issues. But I have a few more thoughts. As we all know, it was Jordin and Heidi in the bottom 2. First of all, in my mind Jordin being there was a fluke. Team dances tend to mess the leaderboard up and cause a couple to fall into the bottom 2 that usually would not end up there. The difference now is that we have the judges that can save that can be strategic with their save and rescue that couple from an off night. So here was my thought. Based on how the night went, I fully expected it to be a 50/50 split, but with CAI and Len saving Jordin and the other two being stupid and saving Heidi. But like everything else on this show, that was too much like right and Derek and Bruno surprised me while CAI and Len made the dumbest decision I think they have ever made on this show. How do you drag a woman for plateauing and not giving you enough while simultaneously praising the other one for growing and taking risks and even state that she had a breakthrough on that very night, just to save the one that's not giving. What sense does that make? It's stupid. They are dumb. They don't understand strategy. Heidi is just gonna end up back in the bottom 2 next week with Trevor. And I'm sure they'll save her again, just for her to end up back there (or flat out eliminated in a double) in the following week. Why do that instead of saving someone that still has a legit shot at making the finale? The writing is on the wall for Heidi and has been for weeks. The fact that they refuse to see this and will keep saving people that are clearly not getting the votes week after week is not smart. They did a similar thing with Ally and James back in whatever season that was. It makes no sense at all. I'm just so sick of the judges being stupid. Also, I'm sick of people dragging CAI for being a mess when the mess last night was Bruno (and Derek to a lesser extent). Carrie Ann was the one trying to give each celeb very pointed advice that she felt would help them. And if people took the time to try and hear what she was saying instead of writing her off immediately, people would understand as well. Maybe you might not agree, but she wasn't just spewing out hot air and nothing else. That's it. This was longer than I wanted it to be and definitely should've been two posts so I could've really gone into the detail about race (and other things regarding how the judges are viewed and valued) that I really wanted to. But that's what I have. I still might do a separate post when the season ends. But everyone was on one last night and I was sick of it. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

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praphit · 4 years

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SM3: Nice Jerks are the Worst

I don't know about y'all, but I had big plans for 2020. Now, maybe those big plans will still happen, Idk. But, this was supposed to be our year! - that's what people say, right?? This was the year that you were going to go on that vacation. You were going to drop that dead beat spouse, leave that spouse with the kids, and run off to Mexico, right??!. You were going to start that business. Gain that weight. Come out of the closet. Finally tat that left butt cheek. You were going to stop doing hardcore drugs. Maybe this was going to be your year to start doing hardcore drugs. I'm not here to judge, only to ramble.

But, 2020 quickly turned to shit. Now, we're all looking for someone to blame. Someone has to pay for our horrible haircuts or hairiness, our newfound hatred for our families, and for plenty of much more serious stuff.

I, personally, like to turn to movies for lessons about life. And I think I have the perfect movie to help us figure out who to blame - you guessed it "Spider-Man 3"

This first attempt at a motion picture SM was doing so well. We loved Spidey (though some didn't care for Tobey Maguire, playing him).

Spidey and Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) are adorable. Then, this thing showed up and everything turned to shit (not unlike Covid-19).

Let's look into what went wrong, and who is to blame.

First, let me say that I really liked the action in this movie. There are three villains in this movie: Venom (played by Topher Grace), that thing you see above.

Green Goblin (played by James Franco), who is... a green goblin.

And Sandman (played by Tommy Church), who has a body that is now kinda made of sand - which seems silly if you pick it a part... though so does a man with the powers of a spider.

There was lots of action, and it was all shot well. There is one action scene where there is NO ONE around... I mean NO ONE. It's frickin NY. Peter Parker (not dressed as Spider-Man) and Green Goblin are causing all kinds of damage and making a lot of noise, and not ONE new yorker has anything to say about it? Unless you're a healthcare worker, I bet new yorkers are still cursing at each other from their homes. This was glaring, but Imma let it slide, cuz the action was good.

That's about all of the good I have to report:)

Quick plot recap:

1) MJ and Petey are on the rocks 2) James Franco is an asshole, trying to destroy Peter for killing his father (which he didn't) 3) Venom is trying to kill Spidey (what else is new??) 4) Venom, at one point, infects Peter Parker, to become "Black Spidey" - this, of course, is also when the people of the city started to hate him.

5) Oh, and Peter, mm! He's the worst. I've got something for him later.

There are two major reasons why people talk shit about this movie.

1st - Casting/Characters

Nobody is likeable in this movie

From the very first scene, MJ is singing to us, annnnd it's sooooo boring. I don't think it was supposed to be. Someone in the audience should have been booing. We can’t just allow entertainers to get comfortable, thinking that they can do whatever the hell that they want! - that’s how you end up with stuff like this

It was like, if Snow White were to perform a number for a large crowd.

Just Snow White - I ain't talking about no cute animals around or the suspense of menacing dwarves that might turn on Snow White at any moment. Not even a prince who might be gay (that’s the word on the streets). Just a long movie filled with songs from Snow White; that's what we're talking about. First, MJ bores me, then she's pathetically whining throughout the whole movie.

Sandman is cool (despite his love for striped shirts), but we don't really get to know him.

Side note: He gets his powers by accidentally getting trapped in a science experiment. The scientists, btw, ( And Lord knows what they were up to) knew that something could have been trapped in there, assumed it was a bird, and kept on going. See, this is why certain people don't trust y'all.

James Franco is James Franco (an asshole). Not worth a pic.

Venom doesn't really have a personality (and his host... well, he ain't no Tom Hardy)

PLUS, Peter Parker is a dick (again, we'll get to that later).

The most likeable person in this film is JJ Jameson, and we're not really supposed to like him.

A person with that look shouldn’t be your most likeable character.

Look at this stage -

Who is likeable up here? Fauci, maybe? But, betting by the amount of times that he puts his hands to his face,

- there are things he's not allowing himself to say, so though perhaps likeable, if we can fully trust him. And as far as Trump... Even Trump supporters can't HONESTLY say that they LIKE the man (I mean, if he weren't the prez, would you honestly want him around? - your family?). They certainly can't say that they trust him - though I guess the amount of people looking into ingesting cleaning products after Trump mentioned something along those lines, would beg to differ.

This is the group we're looking to for direction?!

And this is also a problem in the movie. I have to be able to like SOMEBODY!

I need to be able to trust someone to stop the cheesy-written shit storm that is this movie.

"Cheesy Shit Storm" - how bout that for a visual? :)

2nd - dance numbers!

I actually didn't mind the first one, when Peter is dancing through the streets.

Ha! Wow, he is going for it. Come get it while it’ s hot, ladies!

It's odd, but it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be funny, and it kinda is. You ever dance a lil bit while you're out at a store? I know I do; especially now that we're wearing pandemic masks - no one knows who I am. NBD to dance a bit in public, but if you keep going passed a certain point, it just becomes annoying.

That's why the second dance number is bad. Plus, it doesn't make any sense.

At this point MJ and Peter have broken up. She's singing in a bar, and Peter interrupts her song with a dance number (while using his new girlfriend to poke at MJ). Now, While MJ’s songs of boredom deserve interruption, she didn’t deserve that.

Venom is like a drug. Venom brings out the worst in a person. You're telling me that Peter Parker, with all of the rage built up from Uncle Ben and villains and his life not being all that great; the best or I should say "the worst" that he can do is Jazz hands? With all of his superpowers, he should be out there slaughtering everyone in sight. I mean, he did slap the shit out of MJ though (by "accident"). That's when he snapped out of the evil dance number. I don't know what kind of message that sends.

"MJ, it wasn't until I slapped the holy hell out of you that I realized the error of my ways, so... thank you? I'm just going to go on about my day now."

I see this misguided scene as a metaphor. Peter Parker is dancing around his issues:

His relationship with MJ has been bad. He's on that stuff (Venom). And honestly, MJ knows that he's Spider-Man. Why couldn't he have just explained to her what was happening?

"Sorry, baby. I got possessed by an alien again, you know how it is."

And he was dealing with the fact that the person who killed his uncle is on the loose. Another side note: MJ, even though they had just broken up, still cares for Peter while he's dealing with the news about Uncle Ben's killer. That's a damned good friend right there! - especially the way Peter had been acting towards her.

We've got to deal with stuff, people! We can't just get bad haircuts, wear weird clothes, and do drugs! Eventually, that will lead us to slapping the shit out of someone that we love. There are a lot of realities that we're prob not facing at the moment (and some we prob have no intentions of ever facing). A lot of things that we could have done to prevent certain things from escalating, but... we were busy doing our typical dance.

Peter was warned about Venom and did nothing about it. He told himself, "I got this", and clearly he didn't. Honestly, the whole city was screwing up by not helping Spider-Man at all. At the end, when the big fight is happening, and MJ is near death, everybody is just watching all of this go down. Where were the cops?! The S.W.A.T?! Other superheroes? New Yorkers themselves! - they're bold! But, to be fair, Venom came from outer space, so... it was a bit unprecedented; people were prob scared. I'll cut them and Spidey some slack.

You know who I won't cut any slack - Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker!

Peter Parker is a jerk. I'm thinking that Tobey's Peter Parker has always been a jerk; a nice jerk, but a jerk. Have you ever met a nice jerk? They do all of the things that a regualr jerk does, but they'll rationalize their behavior, and look puzzled when you react to their awfulness. I didn't notice this in the 1st movie, cuz I was just happy to get Spider-Man. I didn't notice in the 2nd movie, cuz those kids were just too darn cute. But, his niceness was so annoying in this movie. And he treated MJ horribly : He never listens to her, he’s always late, he only talks about himself, he’s too damned nice, he never knows when they’re in a fight, he kisses other women right in front of her and then is like “What did I do?”

I kept wanting her to punch Peter out; he would have deserved it.

The foundation of the character of the 1st Spider-Man was a problem from the start! If the foundation is shaky, then - whew! I'm glad that we finally fixed it:)

Plus, he never said he was sorry. He did one of those "Well, I'm not perfect." things. She ain't asking for perfection, just quit being a jerk!

A better movie would have been if MJ had been infected by Venom. For starters, she would have given a better performance, in the beginning. Something more like this -

She would have banged Peter's friends. She would have destroyed her critics. And most importantly, she wouldn't have taken any shit from Peter. That could have been the main plot. Instead of a convultued blend of three villains around the nice jerkiness of Peter, it would have been Spider-Man vs MJ - beatening each other up all throughout the city; though I guess that would be considered domestic violence. But, why dance around real issues out there!

It could have been a family-friendly movie about drug abuse (Venom) and domestic violence... and possibly some make-up sex in the middle of the city. But, after that, one of them, if not both, are going to jail! We gotta deal with the problems, people!

Grade: an entertaining D+

I did enjoy it. It wasn't as bad as I remember it, and I'd prob watch it again. But, I can't deny that on a technical level, it's crap.

"Who’s to blame?" isn't really the question. It's more "Who deserves what percentage of the blame?" There's a lot of blame to go around here... even to us who enabled Peter's jerkiness in the first two movies.

I like the direction that we're going in now.

A better Spidey A better MJ Better villains

And even a better Aunt May

- looking all good with Tony Stark.

- imagine Tony aggressively flirting with the older one

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itbe-jess · 5 years

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I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-Steve and pro-Laura and Myra on this site. Hooooo boy, I think it’s about time I said something.

Look, Laura is not a bad person. And yes, she does deserve better. Steve’s tensions are very unhealthy and overly clingy, but he’s way far from being an awful person. And Myra, she’s a fucking predator. Stop pretending as though Steve is worse than her. Keep in mind: If you still wanna continue to hate Steve Urkel, that’s alright. I can't force you to change your opinion. Agree to disagree.

I’m sorry, but I’ve watched every episodes to had it up to here with your bullshit. Steve’s behavior comes off a little stalkerish, but I’ve only seen him stalk her once, and that was only when she was on a date with Ted. Repeatedly asking for her love, kisses, sitting on a roof until he gets a date, has a locker combination based on her measurements, chased away some of her dates, and humiliated her on a game show. I’m not gonna say it’s not his fault, but I will say that he’s a great big idiot. Despite being highly intellectual, he’s an idiot who can’t grasp the concept of “no.” He hasn’t had an adult discuss this issue with him. The Winslows never bothered. His parents have been neglecting him since birth. All they’ve ever done was tell him “She hates your guts. Stop it.”

As proof, in I Should Have Done Something, Steve got some Johnny Gill tickets and used them to bride Laura into going on a date with him. As he talked it out with Estelle, she tells him what he’s doing is wrong, and why it’s wrong. Taking her criticism, he eventually decided it’d be best for Laura to take her friend to the concert instead. You see, if someone were to psychologically confront Steve on his unhealthy behavior, he would’ve had tone down his clingyness long ago. Of course, nobody in-universe bothered to help, cuz they’re too busy avoiding him. Steve is an just an ignorant hopeless romantic.

Steve may be a little perverted at times, but he seeks no sexual favors. Steve never has intention to harm Laura. He tried to catch a glimpse of her in the shower and was very excited to enter her bedroom, but come fucking on! He was 13 at that time! Which means he was practically still a little kid! The only time I’ve ever seen Steve attempt to touch Laura inappropriately was when he tried to kiss her on the cheek while she was asleep. His locker combinations are based on her measurements, but it could’ve been worse. Steve is disinterested in sex, whatsoever. He even stated he was proud of being a virgin in “Like A Virgin.” As a matter of fact, when he actually saw Laura naked for the first time, he was absolutely horrified, not aroused.

Occasionally, Steve does respect Laura’s personal space. In Dance To The Music, Steve was kind enough to let Ted go on a date with Laura for the sake of her happiness. When he’s not being a hopeless romantic, he likes to help her as a friend, such as encouraging her to never give up in Making The Team, and making Ted confess to a vulgar rumor spreaded on her. I’m not saying Steve deserves Laura for that, but they do look like they’d work out as friends. Laura said so herself that she prefers him as a friend instead of a lover.

In the later seasons, Steve moves on for real. Of course, the writers decided to force them as a couple in season 9. He now tolerated Laura going out with other guys, even if one of them would be his clone. He accepted her as a sister figure at that time. He was still in love with her, but he continued to distance himself. In Eau de Love, as Laura started getting all over Steve, he was doing all he could to avoid her and reverse the love potion effect.

Is Steve a good person? Well, no. Decent? Maybe, yes. Being a clingy, hopeless romantic who continuously pesters a girl until she returns his feelings is far from making him an awful man. Why am I defending Steve Urkel, you might ask? I love nerdy characters, and he’s pretty funny, but what I really love about Steve is how much he cares for his friends and family unconditionally. He’s always willing to lend a helping hand. This is the same guy who volunteered to assign members for a Black History class course, helped Carl get over his fear of heights, stopped a gang bang so that Carl wouldn’t have to summit to police brutality, saved Waldo (a person he generally dislikes) from joining the army, influenced Miss Conners to help a poor kid (which he didn’t know was Eddie) in distress, and etc, etc, etc.

Myra’s clingyness, on the other hand, is worse than Steve’s, but y’all wanna pin the criminal card on the male character anyways. Steve’s character is based on many things other than his crush on Laura. A helpful dude, annoying dude, polka loving dude, cheese eating dude, and destructive dude. Myra’s character is based on nothing but her obsessive crush on Steve. While Steve can respect Laura’s personal space sometimes, Myra respects his by stalking him, and wiring his glasses with a video cam. She has pressured him into sex. She has kissed him mouth-to-mouth without his consent, even almost suffocating him. Also, that ending scene in Like A Virgin, where Myra cornered Steve into a locker and forced him to have sex with her, despite telling her he wasn’t ready. But since this is a woman on a man, it’s suppose to be viewed as sexy.

Whether or not Steve ended up enjoying it or not, rape is still rape. Steve was rejecting sexual intercourse. That’s not the same as rejecting a date. Myra can be very demanding and manipulative. She can also get into a hissy fit if she were to not get what she wants. If he tells her he’s not ready to get married, she throws the grill out the window. Breaks up with her because she hates his new change, she decides to sue him for “alienation of affection.” Plus, she acted like such a bitch to Laura, all because of a one-sided crush Steve had. She even wished for her to die. The only times she is nice to Laura is when she has a date that is anyone but her Steve.

If you were to say Steve is worse than Myra, honey, you got that all mixed up. Being an idiotic pest is not the same as assaulting someone. Abuse is never okay, whether by a man or a woman. And because Myra is woman, what y'all are doing is normalizing/glorifying abusive women. I’ve said this about 100 times, but: Steve can be a creep, but what Myra has done is worse. You are not doing anything for feminism if you defend abusive women.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!

#Family Matters #Steve Urkel #rant #unpopular opinions #Do not reblog

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bihet-dragonize · 5 years

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Yeah I really need to hurry up and transfer my art references cuz holy shit everyday I open this trash app and I see y'all saying some dumb shit with no thought or research put into it and then y'all parade around with no reading comprehension as if that's a good thing and get pissy when (usually poc) call you on your bullshit. This site taught me so much and it helped me find a lot of peace in my ADHD, bisexuality, blackness and gender, but it's time to move one. I had this moment a few years back where I considered leaving cuz I hated what I was seeing on my dash but the solution then was that I was just following way too many white people lmao but now that's not the case. I love my mutuals a lot and I love that at least somewhere I was able to cultivate funny and healthy relationships with other young black people and bisexuals (esp black bisexual women), but even my mutuals can't keep me here. I'm truly finished with this site and it doesn't sadden me as much as I thought it would. I'm a little scared (this was my go-to site for like 6 years afterall) but I'm mainly interested to see what happens when I leave a site so dedicated to arguing and showing off mediocre thoughts and analysis. How will I grow? What will I do now? How will I spend my time and energy?

I'll still have blogs on here and this blog will not deactivate, but I won't engage nearly as much as I do now and I'll mainly be posting art. If you wanna leave tumblr too but still wanna see my art you can follow me on Instagram @bihetdragonize. By the end of summer I plan on having all of my references transferred and having cut back on my use of this site severely. Wish me luck!! 😊

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itsdespicablebre · 6 years

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Welp...

So I wasn't planning to speak on this but, I've been reading some responses as to why people don't believe Michael wasn't really depressed after he was done being Killmonger. Some are valid while some of y'all just love to hate. Someone brought up the fact that he embellishes in interviews a lot, telling little white lies here and there, specifically, when it comes to her dating/personal life and that's true....I thought we went over this. So seeing that, I can understand why people would side eye, Mike has answered questions a certain way depending on who he is being interviewed by, I get it. Another reason is that he was seen with "others" while filming, so people feel like he couldn't have been that deep into it cuz "Killmonger would never be with a white woman" (while I do agree with that) I don't get what that has to do with anything.

Also y'all brought up the fact that he's a "eff boy" cuz of all this stuff with the different women he's been seen with and I mean, sure? Lol but you can't blame a man for being a man. Also, I personally believe you can be socially aware and date whoever you want as long as you and the other person are not being ignorant while doing it. I mean, Jordan Peele, director of "Get Out" wife is not black, I mean I know that's not much lol. But what I'm saying is, I somewhat see y'all point but I can't completely agree, dating preference has nothing to do with depression or what he did to understand his role because regardless Killmongers (the character) life overall was tragic.

Now the rest of y'all just like to jump on the hate bandwagon, whether you think he did good or not does not mean he did not deal with depression. Just because he played Wallace and Oscar Grant does not mean "he'd be alright" or "it wasn't that deep" those or completely different characters. Some of y'all just love to slander him and I can't fight that but I can't get with it either. Sorry.

So.

Does or has he embellished things concerning his personal life? Yes he has.

Is he a thot? Maybe, sure. Most men are.

Does he deserve the same kind of help anyone else dealing with depression or other mental issues? Yes he does.

No one has the right to say whether or not someone else is not depressed or does not need to go to therapy or isn't going through anything concerning their mental health because they do not like that person or that person decisions. That's how mental health in the black community got swept under the rug in the first place. If he said he was depressed and needed a therapist then let it be.

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infinityjim · 6 years

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Again, y'all are really fake and show that y'all just hate black women more and more. First of all, house is a sound, but The BBB is a specific song. If you sample a specific song the people or person who made that song shout get credit and royalties. Second, let's be real. Ru hasn't had but a few trans queens on that show so it really is mostly just gay men in dresses, which is no problem at all. What is a problem is how you have these gay men attacking a black woman for wanting credit for her song. Another problem is how the black Queens will crucify a black woman, but have yet to speak up on or denounce Eureka for literally saying nigga. Y'all are gonna attack a black woman who is rightfully upset about her music stolen, but won't speak up against a racist who actively and purposefully mad a black queen out to be the ABM/ABW. I will always support Azealia cuz time & time again y'all prove her right. You pay her no mind when she tries to do things the right way, but the second she voices her contempt for the people (who just so happen to ru and her gaggle of queens) stealing her intellectual & creative property, you try and paint her as the angry black woman. Fuck y'all lmaooo.

#azealia banks #rpdr #black women #lgbtq #happy pride to everyone but the people who support ru and hateful queens

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blackmenconfessions · 7 years

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Confession:

Like…yes, a lot of dudes come on this page to excuse their own misogynoir.

But I’m seriously getting sick of how y'all conflate them with posts that AREN’T doing that. These dudes will make posts that are literally just saying “there’s a lot of stereotypes against Black men that Black women can perpetuate” and y'all ignore that. They even put disclaimers saying it’s not the same as misogynior, or that they don’t think that it’s really hatred or even say “I’m not trying to be that nigga we’re all sick of”.

Yes, Black dudes gotta clean up our act towards Black women. I’m not denying that. The posts I’m defending aren’t denying that. All we’re saying is “hey, could y'all maybe not do this thing?”. I’m sorry that Black dudes hate Black women. But why does that mean it’s okay for Black women to beat on us, body shame us and reinforce the very hypermasculinity y'all complain about???

And if you’re going to completely sideeye this post and write off what I’m saying…then why are you following this page??? Like, you get upset at the post you should be upset about, but also the ones that you shouldn’t because they’re legit doing nothing to reinforce or justify misogynoir. Stay slept on the posts that talk about intersectional issues that Black men face that have nothing to do with you, but backlash on posts reaches the tripple digits. I don’t get it. Are you hate-following this blog? Is it just one person hate-following and cherry picking which posts they release into the wild????

We talk about rape on this page. We talk about assault. Talk about dating, romance, body-shaming, poverty, hypermasculinity, sexuality, politics, racism, internalized racism, etc. We talk about important shit here and the problematic posts are few in number. So why is this blog stereotyped as the “Whiny nigga blog”???

Idk. It’s just tiring to see posts from brothas that are legit crying for help, only to be shut down with a single reblog talking about how Black men always get with white chicks, but that has jack shit to do with what the post was talking about. I’m here cuz I want to help Black dudes that are confused or going through shit, and correct the ones that are flat out wrong by promoting a balanced, well-nuanced, counter-argument. Why are you here?

#black men confessions #black men #safe space #stereotypes #racism #sexuality #hypermasculinity #dating #black community #assault #money

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granvarones · 7 years

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happy flag day, y'all!

so yesterday our twitter was lit. normally it's just two of my friends ❤️ing and retweeting our shit but yesterday, the white gays were calling us all kinds of racists. of course, the day immediately after they cried and took up all kinds of space at vigils for the many black and latinx queer and trans folks lost in the pulse shooting.

normally, i never engage on twitter cuz it just ain't my thang. mainly because i need more than 120 characters to let a fool have it. anywho, we got tweets about how the rainbow flag is not about race. we even had a few folks ask, "where is the white stripe!?" one of those folks was a latino dude who says he was asking about the white stripe because he is not "racist." someone told him that working to ensure that white gays have a space everywhere - even on our twitter page - makes him "not racist."

admittedly, i was not initially sold on the new flag. but chyle, but i saw how pissed and upset white gay men and hoteps were about the black and brown stripes - i was with it. i'm petty so anything that pisses yt gays and hoteps off, ima support. lol

here is the thing tho, redefining and owning queerness on our terms has always been a fight for black and brown folks ESPECIALLY for trans, gender non-conforming, gender non-binary folks. we have always had to face resistance every and anytime we wanted to carve out a space for ourselves. for some white cis-gay, our audacity to claim space on this earth is a direct affront to their commitment to dominate all spaces.

the new flag aims to recognize black and brown folks that continue to be marginalized within the lgbtq community and pride movement. the new flag DOES NOT cure racism. but my question is, why are we ok with waving the original rainbow flag at corporate sponsored pride events that are largely organized by white cis-gay men where cis-het performances pander to our community for coins does but fall silent when black trans women are murdered? why are folks more vocal about the black and brown stripes than they are about the violence black and brown bodies are subjected to every damn day?

don't like the flag cuz it's not visually appealing to you? cool. don't wave it then. but if you are offended and appalled by the purpose and representation of the black and brown stripes, then you need ask yourself a few questions about what inclusivity really means to you beyond words that are not followed by action.

if you hate the new pride flag but have remained silent about the confederate flag, then i invite you to ask yourself a few questions. if you have remained silent as the alt-right and current administration has used the american flag to intimidate non-white americans, then i invite you to really have an honest and intentional conversation with yourself about what inclusion really means to you. you may find that while you are not racist, you may be hella anti-black. we all have our work to do. being mad at black and brown stripes is not where you start.

#thegranvarones #granvarones #flag day #pride flag #queer #gay #latino #latinx #pride #orgullo #pride month #lgbtq

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thehooliganhangoutspot · 7 years

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(Submission)

Nerd here: I’m not pissed off! Lmao! 😂I’m speaking my mind! Everyone else could talk, but I can’t? But anyways, I’m saying that sensei chick is a hypocrite and a liar cuz I already came to blows with her before. And I get what y'all saying about the whole privilege thing that Bruno might be getting and how a black person doing the same thing won’t be as successful. I get that and understand that. But, let’s not forget that Bruno got shelved and dropped by Motown in 2003, and it wasn’t until 2009 that Bruno was signed to Atlantic Records. 2003-2009 is six years y'all. Bruno literally got rejected for six years by everyone from Will.I.Am to American Idol until he finally got signed. No one was like “Okay, this Bruno guy is cute,light skinned, and racially ambiguous. So let’s sign him.” No, that didn’t happen, many people said that he sucks and that he’s wack. And the only reason why he got signed was because he went the song writing/producing route. If he wasn’t writing songs for other people, Bruno still probably wouldn’t have been signed and he would not be here today. Now Bruno might be getting privileges, but Bruno is really good with the music and performances he does, you gotta admit that. Being light skinned and good looking ain’t gonna give you talent. So he might be getting success from his looks, but he has the talent to back it up. Now with the issue of black people doing the same thing and not being as successful, my thoughts on that is that we have to support our own people more. A lot of people say, that a black doing the same thing is not successful, but at the same time not buying that many black albums though. Did anyone buy Sevyn Streeter’s album? Did anyone buy Corrine Bailey Rae’s album? Did anyone know that Corrine Bailey Rae even had an album? I got her album, and let me tell you it’s dope! Her songs are absolutely beautiful. But hardly any blacks supported it. She brought out some videos last year and it’s hardly getting any views. Some of them didn’t even hit a million views yet. And I could go on with dozens of Black artists that blacks have not supported. But my thing is this. When Blacks proactively set their minds on supporting something, it becomes a hit. For example, with movies like “Get Out” many blacks went out to see it. Everyone was talking about it on social media, retweeting, sharing, and blogging about it and it became a hit and it broke records because blacks supported it. Same with “Hidden Figures” it was a hit movie and again broke a record cuz everyone went out to see it. Just recently with the movie “Girls Trip” that movie was a big success because black people, specifically black women went out to see it and support it. The movie “Black Panther” didn’t even come out yet. But I guarantee you that movie is going straight to number one when it comes out because the whole black community was LIT when they first announced they was making the movie and got it trending, and this year it was trending again when we saw the trailer. The movie didn’t even come out yet and it’s already a sensation. My point is, when black people come together to support someone or something, it speaks volumes and it becomes a hit. We gotta do that with music too. Go out and buy, stream, and download music from black musicians and artists. Don’t let them fail. It’s up to us to get them poppin. Don’t let these black singers flop. That’s the solution to the problem. Not coming after Bruno and pointing the finger at him when he’s just doing the same music he’s always doing and he’s being respectful and minding his business. Coming after Bruno is not putting money in black artist pockets. Supporting the black singers will. Put your money where your mouth is and support the black singers in Hollywood. And that doesn’t mean you have to side eye and hate Bruno either. You can still be a Hooligan and love and support Bruno AND still love and support black artist so they could be right up there with Bruno. That’s what I do. That’s what we should all do. That’s the solution. ❤️

#a long post #submission

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praphit · 4 years

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Another Year, Another Recap - “Have a Coke and a smile... :)”

So, we're getting to the end, people. We're about to finish off another year. Personally, this year has been immensely better than the last.

I didn't even want to stay up and do any celebrating at the end of 2018. I just wanted to go to bed and be done with that bleepin year. This year has been a hell of a lot better. I hope that all of you can say something similar, but if not, there's always going to bed early, and putting your hope in the next year.

This past Christmas (and all Christmas', really) I spent time doing a lot of hating on Christmas music; it's a valued tradition of mine. I am, however, always surprised to find a few songs each year that don't bother me all that much. This year, one of them was John Legend's "Baby, It's cold outside" ft Kelly Clarkson

- a rewritten, sans rapey vibe rendition to boot its 1940's something predecessor.

In this version (at least how I interpret it), both people wanted some action that night. John says all of the right stuff ("I'll call you a car", "maybe you SHOULD go"), creating a safe environment, and most importantly, not coming off as sleazy and rapey. He's also protecting himself with this recording:) But, let's be clear... he wants some, and he wants it bad! While Kelly, also wants some, but doesn't want to come off as being a hoe. Nobody wants to be labeled a hoe. So, she says all of the right things as well ("My dad and brother are waiting for me", "I've gotta visit my sick grandma", "Gotta get home to the KIDS") But, at the end of the night, they both make a decision to sing to one another "Baby, It's cold outside, so let's stay in and BLEEP." That's how you do it! No guilt! No #METOO! No wife and kids around. All is well:) Divorces are still rising, and more older people (as well as old as bleep people) are on dating apps than ever before. Consider this song a Christmas gift from John & Kelly to you.

Sexiest man alive in 2019 btw

Congrats. Classic coming-up-out-of-the-water sexy.

There has been some good music in 2019. Good stuff happening. Also some sad and weird stuff happening in music - all things balance out, I suppose.

GOOD:

Lizzo

I am here for all things Lizzo.

SAD & WEIRD:

Maroon 5's Super Bowl performance. It wasn't even really M5's fault; they simply did what they always do. It was more a poor choice by the NFL. A boring and awkward performance. There was a time when all anybody wanted was a shirtless Adam Levine- both women AND men. Even times when he wasn't performing, he would show up places, some random person would announce to everyone "Don't worry, Adam WILL be taking off his shirt tonight." Talk about ME TOO. It was so bad that the old, white, slaveowners of the NFL hired Jay-Z (one of the blackest icons we have) to come and save them. We'll see how that turns out.

GOOD & WEIRD:

Tyler, The Creator - "IGOR"

One of my fav projects of the year. Tyler, the Creator is an odd dude - I mean this as a compliment. I love how Hip-Hop has evolved. There's a lot more room nowadays to be yourself, no matter how outsiders might deem your behavior as weird (sometimes, others NOT saying this as a compliment). I love his creativity, and hope he continues to inspire other artists (especially in hip-hop) to be creative. Heeeee also says stuff like this "I like girls, but I have sex with their brothers." But, also uses the word "gay" as an insult. Who knows?? There's a lot to unpack there.

SAD:

In other news, Camila Cabello might be a racist. Y'all can look it up if you'd like, but some posts of hers resurfaced. I'm a fan of hers, and checked out the posts for myself, thinking "People are prob just overreacting" - they're not, it's bad. She has apologized, saying the whole "I'm older and wiser now" thing. The prob with that is she's only 22.

GOOD & BAD, I GUESS:

ADELE

It's always good to see Adele out and about. These holiday pics show that's she's still alive (I get concerned, cuz she tends to disappear for a while) and apparently a lot thinner. This of course stirs men to say men type things, women to go on the attack, and all genuine compliments towards her to get lost. The good news is, Adele seems to be getting pretty chummy with Santa, and everyone knows that St. Nick is a heartbreaker. Adele should be spurned and back in the studio writing amazing tunes soon enough.

WEIRD:

Kanye

These pics say it all.

... that being said, I love his new music (which is how I stamp all of my conversations about Ye).

GOOD:

Billie Eilish!

Now (like many), one of my fav artists.

BAD:

She just turned 18, so of course, us men being ourselves again say things like "She's 18 now. You know what that means." Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Nothing says crossing-over into womanhood quite like being objectified.

Speaking of 2019 pervs - R.KELLY!

We can throw MJ and... what the hell, I'll just throw Spacey in there as well (his documentary is coming soon enough, I'm sure).

We were all enthralled by these two docuseries. It's interesting how different races respond to MJ. Both see him as... you know, but most black people are still listening to his music. White people on the other hand are ready to riot every time someone plays one of his songs... except around Halloween - gotta have "Thriller".

We love depressing television.

There was "Chernobyl" as well as "When they see us"

Movies too -

"Joker"

I love this movie, but it's about a homicidal clown, struggling with mental illness.

"Us"

I love this movie, but it's about classism and marginalization.

"Endgame"

It's largely about grief.

It's the best movie of the year, as far as I'm concerned!

It should win all awards!

ALL OF THEM!

Best Horror

Best Comedy

Best Romance

Remember when he sent the message to his wife? Cute, right?

Personally, I think he and Nebula were banging in each other.

... I think that story is going to come out some day. C’mon... they were up in space, alone... they both thought they were going to die. She was like “OMG, I’ve always wanted to bang Robert Downey Jr.

He was like “I don’t blame you.”

But, afterwards, he was like

- you know? He felt all bad, because he’d never get to do that again (that was the last of his energy). Annnnd also because he cheated. Which led to that cute recording for his wife. SEE, it’s all connected!

Best actor in Josh Brolin (Thanos) - the range of emotions (satisfaction, terror, humility, revenge, arrogance, beatin ass, defeat) Leo and Brad Pitt ain't have to do all of that!

Best Actress... hmm.. idk about this one. Many say J.Lo deserves an Oscar for her performance in "Hustlers" - a movie made for strippers, by strippers.

Exotic dancers are making a comeback! Maybe one day, stripping will be going in the same direction marijuana is - just something people do. No more shame! You can actually make a decent living at it - ain't that right, Stormy?

And who can forget this J.Lo quote "This city, this whole country, is a strip club. You've got people tossing the money. and people doing the dance."

There have also been plenty of things in 2019 that I have not understood:

1) Hatin on Greta

Greta - trying hard to do what she believes will make this world a better place for us all.

Certain people - "Shut that bitch up! She's crazy!"

2) Hatin on Megan Rapinoe

MP - leading a soccer team to a World Cup victory, being outspoken for women's rights and gay rights, having awesome purple hair, and trying to be the best leader and athlete she can be.

Certain people - "Shut that bitch up! She's Crazy! Equal pay my ass!"

3) Popeyes Chicken Sandwich

- the gov't test for a new crack epidemic. Sadly, I never got to partake.

4) Allison Mack

- This whole story began being unveiled in 2018, but continued through this year. I still don’t understand how this story has not gotten more attention. Some of y’all don’t even know what I’m talking about.... google it, and be horrified.

5) BTS (and K-pop in general)

-I love them, but... our country's K-Pop fetish has gotten kinda out of hand. All kinds of artists are trying to share the spotlight with them. Next, we're going to see them team up with Kendrick Lamar.

6) TikTok - I just don't get it. What’s the difference?

7) Cancel Culture

To me all cancel culture is silenced by Trump being our president. Where was all of this righteous indignation when we voted him into office? You might say "I didn't vote for him." Yeah, but, WE did - Idk what that says about us, but it's prob not good.

It doesn't even really work - Louis CK is currently selling out venues for an unapologetic tour. I'm not even saying that it SHOULD work (in SOME cases). I'm simply saying that it doesn't work (in most cases). But, perhaps the fear of it working is enough. Or perhaps we should think through how we spend our anger.

BUT, enough of that! It's time to pass out this year's PRAPHIE AWARD!

Here are the noms:

Jordan Peele

Pedro the turtle

(no need for context, just know he’s awesome)

Baby Yoda

(btw - studies show that if you have access to "The Mandalorian" and you AREN'T watching it, you're an asshole. This is not ME talking, this is science)

Megan Rapinoe (who I’ve already mentioned)

Flying Elbow Guy (Again, this requires no context. It’s Flying Elbow Guy! There is a baseball player who’s name I can’t remember. He took on a whole team, and... you know what - that’s too much exposition. It’s Flying Elbow Guy!

Keanu Reeves

Annnnnnnd! It’s...

...

KEANU!

This year:

Of course JW, Toy Story 4, Cyberpunk 2077, “Always be my Maybe”, plus we found out that he’s down for The Matrix 4, John Wick 4, and Bill & Ted. CRAZY!

Also my BAMF of the year (see previous post)!

We love Keanu Reeves so much, that he's allowed to murder as many people as he wants (as John Wick).

We'll get mad if an actor who's not handicapped is playing someone who is, we'll get mad about whitewashing (as we should), we'll get mad if things are too sexualized, we GOT MAD at "Joker" for predicted violence. But, Keanu can murder all he wants:)

(See the scene above? - that was a McDonald’s before he showed up)

He found love as well. Women are loving that he chose someone closer to his age. Honestly, Idk why it matters. I'd still love this man, even if he were dating 22 year old, racist ass Camila Cabello.

But, he's viewed by some as the perfect man. I disagree. I don’t think that he’s merely the perfect man, but the perfect human.

His career and popularity paths are unique. No one would call him a... GOOD actor, but look at him! And he seems like a genuinely, awesomely, good person. And whatever "good person" means to you, he's at the top! We should all (men and women) be a lil more like Keanu in 2020.

Let's all be as lovable as we can, so we may all get away with as much as we can:)

With each new year, I challenge myself with a slogan to live by. In 2020, it's going to be this -

From Eddie Murphy’s “Raw”- Richard Pryor’s advice to Eddie, concerning Bill Cosby

Telling certain people in my way "To have a Coke and a smile, and shut the bleep up." Sometimes, I might need to be the one to do this, rather than say it - we'll see.

Here was the runner-up slogan (his response)

Magical.

Happy New Year, Everyone! Enjoy yourselves. Be less of an asshole. And be safe... enough to at least make it TO 2020.

Much love!

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-smellther0ses- · 7 years

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y'all i'm so done with racist tumblr. idc if your ass is white black brown purple or green, just cuz other people are racist to you doesn't give you the right to be racist back. y'all really trying to fight racism with racism... and if anyone even reads this and thinks "they're stupid they don't understand cause they're white". surprise! i'm not, i'm hispanic and my race is completely ignored in today's society, everywhere i look everyone is portraying hispanic men as drug dealers and hispanic women as sex symbols. i hate it but you know what, i don't fight back by saying "fuck black people" or "fuck white people" because that just brings us full circle :)

#rant #racism

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wtffundiefamilies · 7 years

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redwhirlwind89 said: Isn’t it gross? Doesn’t help that David and Priscilla look very much related. And blonde/pale like the Dollangangers from Flowers in the Attic. It must be like they did in Ancient Egypt…promote incest to keep the ‘good blood’ in the line.

I feel like now is the time to point out that the Dollangangars also did the one-letter theme, Duggars.

redwhirlwind89

Okay, what the hell is it with these 'special' people and their random anniversaries?! Guys, wait three more months and just call it five years you bloody idiots! I know neither of you can figure out how to open a can of tuna but get a grip!

The only people I’ve ever known who did this were a couple I knew in high school. We’re 15 years-ish out of high school now, they’re married and have since chilled (though they are still forever my IRL OTP <3 ) The fundies DO seem to be play-acting their first ever high school relationships in their marriages a lot. Maybe that’s where it comes from.

undercoverduggarblog

phillip looks exactly like priscilla’s dad

He really does.

discussingtheduggarfam fundie-fun

TL;DR but these two are so stinking cute about each other.

miriten discussingtheduggarfam

I guess that’s what happens when you meet and fall in love instead of being forced into a relationship?

Zach and Whitney really do seem more genuine about each other; most of the fundies seem to be acting the way they think married couples are supposed to. I never thought about it relating to the fact that they met and got to know each other normally at least at first, without their parents hovering over them. Whitney having a more normal upbringing (and little interest in converting to the Bates way of life) probably has something to do with it as well.

redwhirlwind89

I also think having no insurance has something to do with it, honestly. There's no way Bum Ben has good insurance for his family...they probably cannot afford a hospital birth.

That’s probably true as well. I doubt Jill and Derick or Josh and Anna do either. What is Ben even DOING as a job? He sure seems to have a lot of free time.

noora7

Are they Indonesians? Hartono is an Indonesian last name.

I think so, yes.

devaleriola wtffundiefamilies

Where’d you get that? Her face and her clothes are clean.

True; I’m probably being unfair. Post-Jubilee fiasco I really stopped watching the show as regularly, and I sort of hold the family in my mind at the earlier stages of the show, when the kids would be running around looking disastrous. I still shudder thinking of Jackson sitting on the floor with the bottoms of his feet jet black, eating spilled Cheerios off the disgusting floor (and he was like 6 at the time). Shudder. They’ve improved a bit since then (maybe because the youngest kids now are less likely to be rolling around in the mud and those who were are now too old for that shit).

nothingelsemakessense

Is this shortly after they moved to DC? I think that's when Anna was at her loneliest, as she didn't have her sisters-in-law to keep her socialized and hadn't realized you can look outside the family for friends yet.

I think it was pretty soon after the move, so that makes sense.

redwhirlwind89

Haha, I do feel like poor Anna has so many psychological issues stemming from her not-so-great life that she would come to confide in a toddler.

In general, fundie motherhood seems to be about treating your daughters both as live-in help and “best friends” to dump all your crap on.

nothingelsemakessense

I hate how they insist on saying what "most people do" as if they have the slightest idea of how people outside of their lifestyle live. They may have a slight idea of things that are done differently, but they have no concept of the day-to-day life of even mainstream conservative Christians.

All they know is what their parents and people in their parents’ mindset tell them, so I can only imagine what they envision. Probably ritualistic Satanic sacrifices on parentless dates.

nothingelsemakessense

He's definitely too fragile for Jessa's style of humor.

I still don’t get how they ended up together. He looks hurt and furious every time Jessa teases him, Jessa has little interest in the Donna Reed role he seems to want his wife to fill...eh, probably cuz she’s hot and she was desperate.

nothingelsemakessense

It's probably from that "train up a child" Bible verse. I heard that one all the time. I've also heard a lot of Christian parents say "We trust you, it's him we don't trust" when a teenage daughter complains about dating rules.

I’ve heard that a lot in secular dating as well, but JFC, if you’re that hardcore religious you’re probably hand-picking your daughters’ dudes anyway. Like...if JimBob doesn’t trust Ben, why would he be like “Yeah, you’re cool to marry my daughter” in the first place??

nothingelsemakessense

I've actually known a few couples who had their parents go on their honeymoon with them. My cousin even had them in an adjoining room.

Damn. I never thought I’d look at the Duggar relationship model and go “Eh, could be worse.”

nothingelsemakessense

I hate people who don't understand what topics are good for discussion at a public place where children could be around.

I’m guessing they cleared the mini-golf course so they could film unimpeded and they wouldn’t have to be around women wearing pants or tank tops, therefore ruining Ben for life, but considering that Michelle abandoned Josie in the hospital to protest a convenience store selling beer because teh childrenz might see it...it is pretty goddamn hypocritical of them.

avatargirl1930

I hate this because he was probably 'working late' that night by banging some toothless prostitute.

Ugh, no doubt he ditched her many a time to browse Ashley Madison.

devaleriola wtffundiefamilies

She has the same stupid facial expressions as her mother-in-law

To this day I can’t figure out if she started directly imitating Michelle or she was just like this from the start and he was attracted to her because of it. Either way it’s disturbing.

hiimana wtffundiefamilies

If it was challenging for you and jim bob y'all should have stopped at 6 not kept going 😒

For real. No, instead they decided to emotionally manipulate church members and train their daughters to take their place in the family. MOTHER OF THE YEAR EVERYONE.

wonderfullywicked

"The first daughter is courting and we're more upset/annoyed that we'll be losing a maid than happy that she's courting." Was all I got from Michelle saying this when I first watched it

Undoubtedly true. Michelle doesn’t seem to like her older daughters much anyway.

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chaos-and-cookies · 7 years

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#ik i say all of this stuff a lot already but...#today is a self care today and self care is blowing off steam about something that pisses u off a lot #i would do one about college and classes but I'm just in a void when it comes to that....#rant

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wordssomejust · 4 years

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Music Lovers

You are so damn pretty, he said as he walked over to me. He came close and placed his hands on my waist.

The dj had just started playing some great 90s jams. The crowd roared. I leaned in close so he could hear me.

"Are there any waitresses down here? My cousin and I have been trying to place an order for a while now"

"Yes, there is one down here. I will find her for you." He stares at me for a lingering moment. "You are so fucking pretty, damn."

I blush, "thank you kindly."

A few moments go by and he sends a waitress over, he looks and gives me that sweet country boy smile.

He mingles his way through the crowd, talking to guests...flirting with women. Every so often, he catches my gaze and smiles "so fucking pretty" he mouths while shaking his head, seemingly in disbelief.

His smile sticks with me. It makes me feel a little giddy, in a silly schoolgirl like way. I like it though.

I immediately shame myself for being giddy about a stranger (and obvious flirt) flirting with me as he flirts with all the other women in the room.

Time passes, my cousin and I enjoy poetry and burlesque performances while finally getting some drinks.

The host, comes back on stage, a gorgeous honey-colored girl with curly black hair and a body to die for. Her black lace dress hugs every curve of her carefully sculpted body. She announces the next act. "Ladies, are you ready to get a little moist?" She asks as she introduces a singer/songwriter from Memphis.

Next, I see Mr. Flirty with a guitar strapped around his shoulder, strolling onto stage.

He sits down, takes his shoes off and begins strumming away on the guitar. His voice sails out of his mouth. Smooth, higher than I expected, soulful, and stirring.

Now I see why he's so cocky and flirty. Women must practically through their panties at him.

He starts singing Usher's "Nice and Slow" sending the predominantly female crowd into a lustful frenzy.

Don't get me wrong, I like it too, but its a bit of a turn-off. I hate community penis or the guy that all the women are throwing themselves at. I listen to Flirty finish his set and clap as I try to forget the smooth voice, country boy grin, and the shiver down my spine when he placed his hands on my waist. He's a whole hoe...I'm sure of it. He finishes out is set with some original songs. Crooning about love and longing. He is beautiful and so are his words and his voice.

A few minutes later as I'm leaning over to tell my cousin how much fun i'm having...I'm startled by someone invading my personal space. As I turn, Flirty comes and sits in my lap.

Shocked, all I can manage is "really sir? you're just going to sit on my lap?"

"Well, we can switch and you can sit on mine if you'd like."

I sit, stuck...I have no response. so he grabs my hands, place them around his waist, and sits... on my lap...as the next poet comes up and starts talking about all the ways she'd like to lick her lover.

He turns to me "wanna switch now?"

"Yes, before my legs fall asleep, please"

He stands, takes my hands to help me up and we trade places. I'm on his lap, his hands are again on my waist and he pulls me close to him.

I place my arm around his neck.

"I have such a horrible headache." he sighs. As if we're just picking up in the middle of a conversation.

"Its likely a combination of tension and loud music." I say confidently as if I know anything about what could be ailing him.

"You're right, its probably stress...tension," He says.

"yeah, you need to find a way to relax, release some of that stress. Then you'll feel better"

"He casually turns to me, will you help with that release?"

Its so bold and unexpected and assuming and who does he think he is? At the same time its casual and sweet and a seemingly genuine question.

The words bypass the part of my brain that contains all reason and logic. Before I can catch them I hear myself say "yeah, I can."

He says ok and we listen to the poet finish her performance before he tells me he'll be right back.

My cousin didn't hear any of this. She just laughs and says "I see you got a whole boo now." I'm trying to decide if I want to tell her that I'm pretty sure I just agreed to a one night stand with a tall, chocolate, smooth-voiced, flirty, stranger.

I don't even remember what he said his name was. This is so stupid and reckless.

Its alright though, I can easily just play coy and act like I didn't mean "relax RELAX or release RELEASE." He may roll his eyes, but he'll be fine. Pick another girl to leave with and I'll laugh at the whole thing.

Although, the idea rolls around in my head a bit. I'd love to have him cradle my body like he did his guitar. His nimble fingers slowly stroking my strings. His voice in my ear, not loud and smooth like his performance, but winded and soft in my ear.

I'm in my head imagining what having him inside me might feel like when he startles me out of my sexy dreamscape. "Come here"

He says as he grabs my hand, places it on his side and leads me away. As if he knew I wouldn't offer any resistance. Of course, I don't. I simply hop up, look over my shoulder at my cousin and whisper "be right back” with a wide-eyed, confused shoulder shrug.

He pulls me backstage and into a small corner. Standing right in front of me he looks into my eyes, places one hand on my waist and the other on my neck as he pulls me in for a kiss.

His lips are soft, his tongue tastes sweet like candy. He kisses me passionately like we're lovers. Not strangers that only met about an hour ago or like two people who may or may not actually know each other's names.

"mmmm My Ann" he elongates that last syllable and breathes me in. His eyes closed like he's trying to hold on to the memory of our first kiss. I realize at that point that he does, in fact, know my name. I'm the only one that's unsure...about his name... and everything else.

Someone calls "Aye, Bram! I need you man." He doesn't turn away at the voice. He is still looking into my eyes.

"I'm in town for the show, my hotel isn't far from here. Wait for me and we'll leave together."

With that, he kisses me again and walks away. I stand there frozen and terribly out of place. Am I going to do this? Would I really have sex with a stranger? I'm 34 and have never done anything like this. Granted I'm no prude, but one night stands are something I've never even been interested in.

I walk back to the crowd. My cousin is sitting there shaking her head. I'm wondering if she actually saw anything that happened. Before I can even sit down she's curled over laughing. "Girl, what was that. Where did he take you? What the hell did you just do? Lawd I can't go nowhere with you?” I'm surprised she can get any of these words out over all the laughter.

I respond, "So, that's Bram and apparently we're going out after the show?

"Hoe, this show is over at like 12:30...Where y'all goin?"

"We're in the city" I say. "Probably a diner or something. I don't know." She looks at me like I'm either lying or naive.

"Of course I'll text you. He's a musician so I'm sure we can find his page on insta or something. That way if I go missing, you at least know who the suspect is."

She starts on her detective shit. Looks at show flyer for his name, finds his insta and just like that we have his full name. Ibram Fuller, but he goes by "Bram" he plays 13 different instruments and has worked with some pretty prominent players. He has one album out and is currently preparing to release a second. He's of course from Memphis and is seemingly unattached. She takes note, then we push that to the side and finish the show.

At the end of the night my cousin sits with me until Bram returns. "Hey friend, homie, cousin!" he says to her. I realize that I never introduced her or even mentioned who she was. He gives her a hug as if he'd known her forever too. "I'm Bram, and I'm taking your..." he looks at me. "My cousin" she interjects. "Yes, your cousin away for the night. I promise to be a gentleman and keep a smile on her face. "

"You better Ibram Fuller."

His eyes open wide and he smirks. Well I see I've been discovered. He laughs that country boy laugh. Now that the music has died down you can hear his southern drawl. Damn its sexy. It rolls off his lips, the lips that kissed me, the lips I can't wait to feel again. Not just on my mouth though. What is wrong with me?

He's talking to my cousin, I'm not even listening until. "You ready babe?" I look stuck, babe?

He turns to me "My Ann," he entwines his fingers in mine. "Can I take you away now, please babe?"

My cousin smiles "Call me in the morning cuz. Bye Bram" and she's out.

Turns out, while I was in a daze, Bram told her who he was and where he was staying. That explains what she was typing in her phone. Thank goodness one of us has some sense. He planned on putting his guitar down and taking me for something to eat so he could get to know me. He also told her that he would make sure I text her so she'd know I was safe.

With our fingers interlocked we walk towards the door. He prepares to call an Uber, but I let him know I drove, I can just valet at the hotel. He doesn't answer, he just stops, grabs my neck and kisses me again. Right there in front of everyone, at the door of the theater.

"OK, which way?" he says.

I'm struck by how at ease he is. He doesn't know me. I could be crazy, a stalker. He seems to have no apprehension at all. I, on the other hand, am playing it cool on the surface, but everything inside me is racing. However, I still want to go with him. I want to explore this night. I don't care if its just one night.

We get to my car, I plug the hotel into my GPS. Its only 13 minutes away. John Coltrane starts blowing through the speakers.

"Well well My Ann likes jazz. You just keep impressing me."

"I like a little of everything, but yes I'm a fan of jazz."

"You are so fucking pretty, tell me more."

"Tell you more like what, there is a lot I could say"

"Where are you from?"

"I'm from here, DC. Actually, I grew up not too far from here"

"Well I'm from"

"Memphis, right?"

He gives me the wide-eyed grin

"The host said it when she introduced you...and the country drawl is a bit of a give away as well"

He laughs. "You think I have an accent"

I don't think love, I know you do

We both laugh. he grabs my free hand and kisses it. Then starts to play in my hair.

"How long have you been natural"

"About 6 years now"

"I love that shit. Its so sexy."

Before I know it we pull up to the hotel valet. Bram gets out, gives the worker his room number and comes around to open my door.

We lock fingers again and walk inside. In the elevator he puts his guitar down and in a second he's on me. My back pressed against the railing of the elevator. He moves his hands slowly from my hips, up my sides, across my breasts, up my neck, and into my hair. His eyes locked on me the entire time.

"My Ann, what's your last name"

"huh" I say, lost in the pure electricity that's surging through me. "umm LeSalle. Ann LaSalle"

He smiles and kisses me on the forehead

"Ann LeSalle, my Ann. I want all of you tonight. OK?

"uh huh" I nod.

The elevator dings, 13th floor. He again interlocks his fingers with mine, grabs his guitar and we're off to the room.

The room is big and modern. The bed looks like a bed of clouds, the view of the city mesmerizing. He shuffles in after me, walking to the desk where he puts down his guitar and little duffle bag.

"I'm going to shower real quick, sit down, take your shoes off, get comfortable," he says, then disappears into the bathroom.

I'm relieved I get a moment to gather myself. I shoot my cousin a quick text with the room number. Stand at the window and take in the view. The city lights sparkle, you can't hear the bustle on the street from up here.

He shouts from the bathroom, "there's some drank in the little fridge, make yourself something, relax."

I look in the little fridge, there is Hennessy, Crown Apple, Coke, and Ginger Ale. I pour myself a little Crown, check out the room. This place is awesome I think to myself. I take a seat in a little chaise by the window, look up at the couple of stars you can see through the city smog and exhale. The room smells like sandalwood, it must be the oil he wears. The faint smell of it is on my dress as well. D'Angelo is playing in the background. Brown Sugar. It's coming from a little laptop on the desk by where he placed his things.

He comes back out in a towel and a smile. "you good babe"

"yep, just enjoying the view"

"Indeed, so am I. My Ann, come here babe"

I put my drink down and walk over to him. He turns me around so that my ass is pressed against him. Nuzzles his face into my neck and breathes me in. His lips graze my neck. His hands wander. He bends down and lifts my dress, pulling it up over my head. Just like that, I'm naked.

I don't see him, but I can hear his smile. "So you just don't wear drawls or anything huh"

"Sometimes, but not often"

"ummmm. My Ann"

He caresses my skin and places soft kisses on my neck and shoulders. Then slowly pushes me down on the bed so I'm laying on my stomach.

He slowly touches and kisses me from my neck to my ankles. he works his way back up placing gentle kisses on my ass cheeks. His tongue lingers with each kiss. His fingertips move slowly up and down the inside of my thigh, with each stroke getting closer and closer to the center. He then reaches down and lets one finger slide inside me.

"ooooh My Ann. Did I do that" talking about the entire river that's flowing between my legs.

"Indeed you did My Bram"

I turn to the side to see his face. He smiles, then licks me off of his finger.

"I knew you would taste as good as you look."

He hovers over me, places his hand on my lower stomach and lifts me so my ass is in the air and I'm on all fours. Again he licks up the inside of my thigh then plunges his face into my pussy. Licking everything, from front to back.

Its passionate, wet, sloppy head. Like he's been starving for me and just can't stop eating. I can barely catch my breath. Every time his tongue touches me I melt. This shit is amazing. He pushes me down on my side, lays his head on my thigh and holds my other leg in the air...and keeps eating. I'm thankful for the new position. I can't even feel my legs anymore, my whole body is melting into the bed. My moans are uncontrollable. I feel a rumble starting throughout my body. The feeling intensified as he slides two fingers inside me and gently tickles my g spot while giving my clit the wettest sloppiest kiss ever.

I grab his head. He whispers "that's right baby, let it go...give it to me." He fills his mouth with my pussy again. The feeling comes over me like a wave. My entire body lights up with pleasure. Electricity throbs through my veins, down my pussy, and against his waiting mouth. He moans as I let go. I make some sound that I can't even recognize. I don't care though. I don't think I've ever cum like that. The feeling lingers, tiny aftershocks causing convulsions. He doesn't move, he keeps his lips pressed on my pussy, slowly licking with every throb.

"My Ann, good girl. You taste so good babe"

His voice causes another tremble.

As I start to catch my breath and prepare to say something witty in response, he sits up on his knees and I catch a glimpse of his dick before he slowly slides it inside me. It takes a few pushes to get it all in. He's a good length, but so damn thick. His dick fills me up and I love every inch of it.

"Fuck baby" I moan

"oooohhhhh My Ann...lets talk about this wet ass pussy of yours. DAMN"

His strokes are deep and purposeful. I squeeze his dick like I'm begging it to never leave me.

I realize he's dominated me this entire time. I wonder how he feels about women taking control. He's certainly been in the driver seat all night. I shift my leg and push him on his back.

He looks up and grins. I climb on top of him and slide myself back down on that thick ass dick.

"Good girl. he smiles"

I grind and ride as he grips my ass with one hand and my left breast with the other. Our rhythm is in sync. As I move he rocks his hips meeting me. Going deeper and deeper. I feel the rumble again. I lean down and kiss his lips, bouncing on his dick as I do. He slaps my ass "I like it baby" he says.

"you feel so good" I whisper. I sit up and pull him too me. Wrapping my legs around him and rocking on his dick as I cum again. He moans with me as my pussy once again starts to throb. This time on his dick. I'm lost in the sensation. Nothing exists but he and I. His lips kiss mine hard and deep like we both want to stay in this feeling... in this place.

Turn around

Just like that my chest is back on the bed and my ass is back in the air. He plows inside, gripping my thighs. His thrusts are merciless. Each one sends shockwaves through my body. He smacks my ass hard, then squeezes.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” he says through his teeth.

“My Annnnnnnnn.” He says, dragging it out. I moan

"My Ann" he says again as if he wants a response.

"Yeah baby" I say. Panting for air, grabbing for sheets, pillows everything. His dick is ravaging me and he wants to hold a conversation. Fuck

"I'm going to cum soon, but I want you to cum with me. Can you give me one more baby."

"Yes baby. yes, yes yes yeeeeeesssssss"

He grabs my hair, arches my back high and pounds every bit of his dick into me. This time it isn't a slow rumble. This feeling is deep and intense. Whatever it is, it's ready to overflow. It's euphoric. I'm clawing at the bed, my eyes rolled into my head.

I breathe in and exhale "i'm...cumming. baby. I. I. I'm cuming"

"ooooohhhhhhhh shit, me too babe". He tenses. I feel him grow inside of me. His dick throbbing against the walls of my pussy. He groans, still stroking. harder. deeper. relentless. The sound of his skin slapping against mine. His labored breath in between moans. passion exploding between the two of us. This orgasm is volcanic, every part of me seizes with pleasure. My mind frenzied, my heart pounding against my chest. He hunches over me, panting heavily in my ear. His dick inside me. The throbs lessening in intensity as our bodies try to find normalcy again.

He again entwines his fingers with mine. I kiss his hand and sink into the bed. I turn to look at him and find his gaze squarely on me.

"So. fucking. pretty," he says

"So. fucking. Amazing," I respond.

The next morning I wake up and he's in the corner of the room. A beat is coming from his ipad and he's playing softly and mumbling lyrics along to it.

"I didn't want to wake you up, but I wanted to get this melody down before I forgot it."

It's fine. Keep playing.

He strums a song and sings a mixture of words and mumbles. I just look at him. He's naked, holding his guitar, looking as if he is in his own world. I'm just there on the outskirts observing. Every once in awhile he'll look up and smile at me.

I lay back in the bed and as my head hits the pillow I get flashbacks of the night before. My heart starts to race at the thought. A night of sex that left me completely exasperated, yet longing for more of him. For a brief moment, I wonder if this is his usual play. The same routine he does with different women in different cities. All left feeling intoxicated with his pleasure but ultimately forgotten.

I push the thought out of my mind. I don't want to be his girlfriend, I just wanted a great night. I got all that and more.

"come over here" he wakes me out of my daze.

I stand up and pause by the bed, letting the light from the window wash over me. Also, letting him get a better look at the fine well of melanin he got to dip into last night.

He licks his lips "bring your pretty ass over here."

I sashay over to him. He reaches for my hand and guides me to his lap. Placing his face in my neck and nibbling at it. I blush and squirm against him

"Do you play?"

"No, never did learn to play anything. I've always wanted to play the guitar though."

"You sing though, right?"

I look at him puzzled, "yeah, I do actually."

I can tell by the way you moan. Its almost like you're singing a song. It's sexy as fuck, I'm trying to hear it again before I leave. Annnd there is the country boy grin.

"let me hear you sing something."

"Dude, I literally just woke up. Who rolls out of bed and starts singing?"

"You do, today. What do you want me to play?"

I can't believe how nervous I get. All of a sudden the woman that just confidently strutted across the room in all her glory feels like a scared little kid. "Um....maybeeee...My Funny Valentine."

"oh...My Ann. Are you trying to make me fall in love."

He starts playing chords, then looks up at me. "Go ahead babe."

His look is endearing. Not cocky or flirty like the other night. More comfortable and genuine. This is his zone, his happy place. I felt like he was inviting me in.

I begin with a deep scratchy "myyyyyy" before clearing my throat and grabbing some of his water. I start again. " Myyyy Funny Valentine" The words sail out of my mouth as he closes his eyes and plays along. Mid song he puts the guitar down and starts kissing my neck.

I inhale deeply and grab the back of his head.

"Don't stop singing"

I keep on "don't you change a hair for me, not if you care for me"

My breath is choppy trying to sing the notes as tongue explores my neck and shoulder. His right hand cups my breast and he slides his finger in circles around my nipples. His other hand slowly explores my pussy, which is once again overflowing.

he slides his finger inside me, then brings it up to my lips, stopping my song and placing it on my tongue. I suck his finger and moan.

"See, how good you taste"

He continues to play with my pussy, teasing me, dipping his fingers in and out of the pool of wetness that has materialized between my legs. The way he moans and whispers my name is intoxicating. I'm under his spell.

He stands me up and bends me over the desk, once again he's inside me. Full and hard, he inhabits every inch of my pussy. Like I am his home, he's comfortable there, moving and grinding inside me. With every stroke, I throw my ass back on him.

"oh, you're a feisty girl aren't you?" he says as he smacks my ass. It stings so good.

Come here, baby. He turns me around and I sit on the desk wrapping my legs around his waist. He takes one leg and puts it over his shoulder. We kiss and rock and moan. I feel dizzy with pleasure.

"Don't cum yet baby, I want you to wait for me"

"Sit down," I say. He sits on the chair as I kneel in front of him. I slowly lick from his balls to the tip of his dick. I rub the tip across my lips and moan. I can taste myself all over him. I lick my lips and start to take his huge dick in my mouth licking and sucking it. I savor it like an ice cream cone, running my lips across it. He's big so I spit on it and used my hands to stroke the base of the dick as I suck. One hand tickling his balls. I take him deeper and deeper into my mouth, gagging and quickly catching my breath before going back to work.

"Ohhhhh My Annnnn." He runs his fingers through my hair. I feel his body tensing. So I take my time passionately and sloppily kissing his amazing penis.

He lifts me up and sits me on him. I grind my hips back and forth, as he presses his fingers into my hips. We kiss some more.

"please baby....please Ann cum with me. Shit please baby I want to feel it"

The sound of his voice sends electricity surging through me.

I can barely make out what he's saying. I'm caught up in a euphoric buzz. The room blurs, the sound of the music playing in the background is a muffled mess. I'm moaning so loud if people are next to us, I'm sure they know how our morning is getting started.

I wrap my arms around him, kissing him hard, pressing into him.

"Babe, shit...I'm gonna"

I don't get the words out before I start to cum. I feel him throbbing inside me. He lets out a grunting moaning Fuuuuck sound and collapses into the chair. I collapse on top of him. Completely spent.

In between labored breaths, he whispers "My Ann, tell me this won't be the last time"

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imanifbabyyy · 5 years

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Change + Feels

sigh, ok 1. hi Tumblr. I’m sorry Ive been neglecting you but im back to vent and leave all my feels here. so bare with ya girl pls.

OK 2019 has been a wild fucking year, a long fucking year, a tiresome fucking year. im normally very advert towards change but this year God must of been like ‘OK KAREN, TIME TO CHANGE” and im literally still shaking in my damn boots. The changes include and or are not limited too... my relationship of about 5 years ended, I ended it. My apartment of two years that I loved I moved out of shit nearly got kicked out of but moved out. I lived in that apartment with my bf at the time and my cuz (you know black people cuz, which can be literally anyone, but non blood related). And me moving out ended my relationship with her basically (She's a scorpio, and I basically have no time for that kinda energy right now). More of my college friends moved to LA, stopped being friends with an female from college (also a scorpio and I can't). Since moving out Ive moved in with my Newly married younger sister and her husband. Um I think that's mainly it. So the change was not only mentally but physically. which I think is why I always feel like I've been hit by a fucking bus. >.<. since I just complained a lot let me say im very grateful for my mother and father for basically being my main stance of support. they seriously have been my protection from me jumping off a damn bridge and I don't even think they know that. but this last year they saved me and I will be forever in debt to them and grateful. I did also have a few great friends who have listened to me bitch and complain about everything listed above so peace and blessings to them as well.

Ok so im writing all this to say. Tomorrow if I get this job that came outta nowhere and is 3x what im currently making and will be in Miami and give me a chance to travel even if its a small chance will literally change my life. Not only will I be able to save but I will be able to pay off at least one of my damn student loans and go into my 30th year around the sun (next year 2020) more interesting and comfortable. Again, I know God has literally so many people to help but fuck im so grateful that he pulled my number and dropped this small blessing on me to make me see that all this change and all this heartbreak Ive been through these last 7 months will be worth it, and made me stronger for a reason.. for this moment. I was raised in the church but like many don't speak to God often but I believe I find my church in different ways and different aspects of my life. I do believe that God works in mysterious ways, and I’m always in awe of his handiwork. I also believe that this year of me removing myself from things/relationships that basically do nothing for myself was one of the best choices I have made. I mean lets be honest leaving any relationship is hard, I know its hard to be dumped but its also hard being the one who breaks up things. You're breaking up what has been comfortable for about 5 fucking years and I often feel guilt but I know if nothing changed NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. and Im so blessed to know that cause some women really don't.

So (if I get the job, and im being positive so lets say I get the job) tomorrow I will have to quit this job I've been at for 2 years which is also another relationship break up that I’m bring on. I’ve worked for this company and basically changed the whole structure. When I initially started in 2015 not 2005 my boss was still handwriting checks so we could take to the bank to deposit WTF. Ive googled and learned how to do inventory and work on the books, redid the whole inventory system, bought in a huge $30,000 that saved the skin off the companies back last year. And continually worked on a project that I didn't begin on from 3 years ago which went basically redoing all the paperwork and the books for that project. Only to be faced with my boss consistently telling me he has no money to pay me but asking me to do more and more. While he says he can't pay me he's paying my Male older white coworker whatever the fuck he wants basically. Im not sure if its because they are close in age, fucking 65 or cause ima WOC but bitch im fed up, BEEN FED UP! I was gritting and baring it for 2 years and crying in the parking lot before and after going into the office. There has been days where I seriously only said 3 words. But recently Diddy had the revolt summit at my job, a Black owned kinda weekend event for YBP(young black professionals) going into or into the music industry. My boss didn't even come into the office that day but the coworker called him and apparently told him that a black event was going on, while I washout of the room clearly. Then my boss feels like he should call me and request I do something that literally made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He calls and says “If I was a 50 year old white women coming into the building today and see what's going on outside I would never come back” 0.0 Me being a YBP my damn self I almost threw up out of the sheer shock of racism, but also being not surprised since he is a 65 old white man from the south but WTF! he then proceeds to say we (the company) should send an email to our customers and apologize to them for the black event going on. When I tell you I felt all of my slave ancestors jump through my skin, only thing I could muster was an “OK yeah” and I hung up. in the end I turn to my coworker and tell him what just happened on the phone and I guess my face did all the talking but he vetoed it and then called my boss back to explain why but that's when I put two and two together and realized he was the one who had said something to begin with. Literally since then I’ve seriously been not doing shit or in deep protest. I hate to be one of those black people that says racism doesn't happen to me b/c I went to an HBCU in a mainly white town so I know what it looks like but GOD DAMN!

SOOOOO Im leaving even if tomorrow I will be deadass leaving this company in the fucking dust where I raised it from. After rereading all this I believe I should really find myself a therapist to vent to and not y'all every 5-7 years. but whew here we are. Ok lastly with the friends I spoke off before I have told them this and all these feelings and tonight I really felt like they werent there and kinda gave me sure harsh critizism and then joked it was only cause they don't want me to leave (with me quitting im leaving to go back east, with or without the Miami job) but it was still hurtful. Like damn bitch you couldn't fake and hold your selfish issues about me and my horrible job / situation. So me being annoyed and passive aggressive let it go and moved on but it hurt, shit it still hurts. Maybe im sensitive rn cause (niggas, work, and bitches) but damn. Ok ima sum this up because its getting long and scoff. but I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY: People will want you to break your back and give them your all when they say they will be there for you but also fake it just to keep you doing what you say you will but then let there selfish feelings get them to say hurtful shit. As a friend/ a sister/ a daughter I try my best to listen/ observe and be there for the fucking people in my life and most either boss company wise or “Friends” won't. So take it how you want but take it on your terms.

Thank You,

Also this sounded a lot more consistent in my head ealier while I was smoking but now eh its a brain spill so proceed with caution.

Peace & 7Blessings*

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